#he started to ghosting me again
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Trvth x Ritual Drops - Exhausted
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#I'm so fuckin exhausted#he started to ghosting me again#he ignores half of my questions when we speak#his feelings are dying and i can't do something about it bc of the long distance#he loves to make me suffer as it seems#fml i fell for his fuckin' heart#but he doesn't want to understand#Youtube
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Prompt 185
No one could get into contact with Constantine.
Now usually that wasn’t that big of a deal, the man constantly disappeared for a few days at a time doing something or other, but he’d been completely silent and unseen for months. Usually he’ll at least answer a call to tell them to fuck off or something.
And they really need his expertise and are getting incredibly worried for their grumpy team member. Yes he’s an asshole, but he’s their asshole, y’know? And he has a habit of getting into Situations (sure he also usually gets out of them, but what if he didn’t this time?!)
So they’re desperate. Kind of really desperate. Desperate enough to use the summoning sigil they found on his fridge. They’d checked it, multiple times, and it should summon the hellblazer.
“You’re not Constantine.” .
The white-haired teen in the circle yawned, stretching and blinking at them blandly with familiar blue eyes before sighing. “Actually I am,” he stuffed his hands into his hoodie as he looked down at the summoning circle. “Well, technically just one of the many Laughing Magicians currently in the Realms.”
He gave a grin, looking more amused than annoyed. “Pretty much every one of us is in the Realms right now for family reunion lol. (Did he just say lol out loud??) So like, you’re gonna have to specify which of us you’re tryin’ to summon. Honestly perfect timing for me thanks, the fruitloop keeps flirting with John and it’s horrific so.”
��� That was probably their John, wasn’t it…
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#The Constantine Family exists for fucking over entities & manipulating luck#They adore this scrappy halfa who is doing the same with twice the feral#Danny: Yeah I’m like the changeling child that ended up in the middle of them and they just kept me for the laughs lol#Danny: I’m not allowed to join in the drinking competitions#Danny: Oh no it’s not a responsibility thing; alcohol doesn’t affect me and they say it’s cheating#Why Yes Vlad IS flirting with their Constantine#He’s started his redemption but let’s be honest he’s also a con-man & John is all for fucking over the rich#Danny is disgusted at how well they’re getting along and wanted to get away from their flirting while everyone else ribbed at em#Hence why when they all felt the summoning he decided to go#Well that and also for the laughs because he’s learning magic Undead Constantine style#”Fuckin 'ell yeah the family 'as a necromancer in 'he line again look a' 'im go!” (Lots of ghost & living people drunken cheering)#Danny only half fucking with people: Yeah I’m like their collective undead fae child lmao#danny fenton#john constantine
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CW: mentions of kidnapping and stolen body autonomy.
Find a way in, kill the enemy, retrieve the hostages, leave. A routine of sorts that gave his life some sense of purpose to avoid going insane for the past two decades. Simon liked to believe he got over what happened in his past... truly, he did; and yet Manuel Roba’s horrors seem to haunt him no matter where how many years pass.
“C’mere.” Simon’s voice held no hostility, he made sure of it, yet your stiff position never changed. Legs angled to the right, hands folded on your lap, and eyes looking forward, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze even if it’s been hours since your rescue. Garrick, Price and Johnny have already tried to get you to talk multiple times, all of them with different approaches.
Garrick was friendly, trying his best to seem approachable, a bright smile on his lips that you didn’t seem to notice, too busy staring at a wall no matter how much he tried to hold a conversation.
Price seemed fatherly, never once laying a hand on you even if it was itching to comfort you, and so he settled with telling you you’re safe now, how no one will ever get you again now that they're here. His words didn’t seem to do much, either.
Johnny was… something else. His first attempt was a shitty pick up line, getting a reaction out of you for the first time— a nose scrunched up in disgust, but a reaction nonetheless.
And Simon… Simon’s approach was different. The man was used to barking out orders and obeying them himself, not to deal with an unresponsive hostage. His behemoth frame was nestled next to you, putting a tray on the table and observing your reactions. From the way you swallowed thickly the moment the meal was presented to you, to the sound of your stomach growling.
“Go on, then.” Your gaze follows his movements for the first time, the feeling of your stomach rumbling makes you more aware of your hunger, so many years being fed nothing but what was necessary to keep you alive by Manuel and his associates, so many years of being trained like a dog to obey to their very order.
Simon can see the hesitation in your body language, too tense to allow yourself to dig in the way you wanted, yet no longer as stiff as before. There was a sense of relief at the fact that they didn’t seem to want to hurt you —unlike Roba—, yet years of non-stop brutal training can’t be erased within hours.
Roba’s training was engraved into your brain, and while the sense of security the SAS blokes gave you is something you’re thankful for, nothing guarantees they’re not working for him. You’ve seen other military men come and go throughout the years, always Roba’s friends, and always sharing the same disgusting, sadistic desires.
“Eat up.” The rest of the men watch the way you move, curiosity and amusement mixing at how strange your movements seem, almost robotic. Your forearms rest on the table, elbows away from the cheap wood as you attempt to hold your own cutlery— attempt, because it looks fully foreign to you, trying out different angles to make it work, and yet it's the first time in years you've been allowed to try and feed yourself.
Simon is the first one to catch on, having lived under Roba’s rules for long enough to know he enjoys taking people’s autonomy, to reduce them to nothing but a pathetic mess that depends on him. His gloved fingers are gentle as he takes the spoon from your hand, scooping up some food before holding it up to your lips. His full attention is on you, relief starting to make its way into his body as sees your rather soft lips wrap around the spoon, eating whatever he was feeding you. Lucky for you, this time it wasn’t an MRE… or beans on toast.
His gloved thumb wipes the corners of your lips every time you’re done chewing, and he’s quick to pick up more food from the plate, nothing but patience and kindness shown in his actions, so unlike the brooding soldier he's known to be.
“... two goldfish are in a tank…?” Johnny’s loud groan gets your attention for a second, yet you quickly glance back at Simon, curious eyes looking up at him, almost as if asking him to go on.
“One turns to the other and says… ‘you know how to drive this thing?’” You can see the corners of his eyes crinkle before he even finishes his joke, clearly trying his best not to laugh at just how awful it was. A small smile hides in the corners of your lips, and Simon takes that as a victory, ignoring the questioning looks he’s getting from his team, for now.
#I've had this idea in my mind for MONTHS#Feeding you because he knows what it's like to be starved by Roba#being patient because Roba's torture is all you've known for years#silent promises of never letting anyone else take your body autonomy again#watching with nothing but pure pride the moment you're able to eat with no assistance#listening to your voice for the first time after you start getting better??#I'm going feral for this man#I'll rewrite this later but I needed to get it out of my head RAHHH#Simon being gentle to hostages save me...#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#ghost cod#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost simon riley#simon x reader#ghost x fem!reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#ghost x female reader#simon riley x f!reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x y/n#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost x you
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Makarov in "The Lobby"
Just a sketch before I sleep! Took this opportunity to study Julian Kostov's face and I think I'm getting the hang of it 👌
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Am I highkey seeing Makarov as another Vampire in Halloween AU? 👀 Imagine Makarov being a much stronger vampire than Price because he's been consuming human blood non-stop without remorse. And now in order to defeat Mak, Price has to break his oath and start consuming human blood again 👁️👁️.
Here's some timelapse and hope you love it! *(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*ଘ
Tip Jar ✨
#vampire!mak easily overpowering and controlling the 141 boys. including vampire!Price himself 👀#“What is this? I thought you're the same being as me? But you're just a shell.”#except Gaz because he's literally bloodless. But Gaz managed to distract Mak and bought time for the Price Ghost and Soap to escape.#But now that Gaz is imprisoned and tortured by Mak. Price has to start becoming strong again in order to defeat Mak.#but that would mean he has to break his oath of never consuming any human blood ever again👁️👁️#would legit be a fucking good au#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw#cod#call of duty modern warfare 3#call of duty modern warfare III#call of duty modern warfare 2023#vladimir makarov#makarov#makarov cod#sleepyconfusedpotato art#call of duty fanart
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and the crowd… exchanges confused glances?
#lowkey the ending kinda made me mad#like i know she was a ghost in the comics and stuff but it feels meaningless to kill her and let her come back#maybe it has something to do with her making rio promise to never see her face again but idk#and also that kiss? the kiss of death? what?#why would they almost kiss in ep 4 if agatha knew it was gonna kill her? or did rio pick the moment? have they never kissed before?#there’s just so many things that don’t make sense#like the darkhold and why rio sent the salem seven after agatha#i had really high hopes but i really did like the series#i LOVEEEEEE billy maximoff so that was a win#the way nicky went with rio had me sobbing bro he definitely knew who she was#he wasn’t afraid at all#and we saw with alice that you don’t really know that you’re dead bc alice was super confused until she saw her body#but nicky recognized rio so he’s seen her before for sure#agatha all along spoilers#agatha all along#agathario#give me agathario or give me death.#agatha x rio#agatha coven of chaos#agatha harkness#agatha spoilers#rio vidal#mcu#marvel#agatha all along episode 8#agatha all along episode 9#don’t even get me started on the fact that billy made up the whole road#where’s the bitch that suspected this?? someone ask her if she’s okay damn 😭#billy kaplan#billy maximoff
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sister imperator being the one to give copia his first few t shots.
you know how sister is- if she wants something done, it will get done. so when copia offhandedly starts talking ti her about other siblings that are on hormone therapy copia, she gets the hint and goes ahead with starting that process. being on the dyke scene in the 60s, sister would have a good chance of actually having the resources to get access to hrt and know where to get some semblance of knowledge on how to dose copia (or at least she’s hitting up her old butches to call in a favor to figure things out for him). a week, a month, two months pass and suddenly she’s knocking on copia’s door with a small brown paper bag in one hand and a bright red sharps container hanging at her side.
she sits him down on the lidded toilet and kneels in front of him while she talks him through the process, putting each item up on the countertop beside them as she goes through the instructions- needle, draw, swap, syringe, swab, inject. simple, right? copia is nodding along all big and bright eyed, heart racing in his chest as he tries to follow her movements but the excitement and adrenaline is all getting to him. once everything has been gone over, sister will awkwardly slap his knee as she stands up to leave and wishes him luck. the bathroom is so so empty without her there but it gives copia a second to breathe, gave him arms and body a big shake to try and get the jitters out enough to focus on the task. he’s able to get through drawing up the medication and nervously swap the needle caps, pinch the fat of his stomach before he’s suddenly frozen and realizes how much his hand holding the filled syringe is shaking. just this once, he figured he could handle needles and shots and injections and all of that good stuff- that it wouldn’t be like the times he spent kicking and crying in the doctors office for his routine shots because he wants this so badly. but he’s stuck in place and can’t bring himself to do it.
shuffles out of the bathroom with teary eyes and tells imperator i think maybe this is too soon and maybe i should wait a little longer but sister can see through it and, mildly worriedly, leads him back to the bathroom by the elbow to sit him down again. she’s not good with comfort and tears; can’t read emotions as well as she probably should be able to and certainly doesn’t know how to react to them, she never has been. but she knows how much this all means to copia. so instead of playing along, she tells him that she can do it. grabs the needle from where it’s seated on the plastic packing and the alcohol swab where she had placed it minutes earlier. spares copia a glance, a raised eyebrow challenging him to tell her that he was serious about not being ready but she’s just met with a nervous nod and a quiet “alrighty” in confirmation. copia’s face screws up squeaks out a nervous sounding “did you do it yet?” imperator sighs and assures him that the cold he felt was, in fact, just the alcohol swab. she carefully pinches the baby fat of his stomach, and pushes the needle in as carefully as she can without letting it draw on, knowing that if copia holds his breath any longer he’ll probably faint. drops the used needle into the disposal and reaches over for the tin of bandaids, scoffs fondly when she pulls out one with a pixelated luke skywalker on the front of it and sticks it over the small bead of blood that’s begun to form on his abdomen. copia finally opens his eyes- looks down at his stomach, then to the vial on the counter next to him, then to sister. nerves and excitement are still eating at him as he thanks sister, rambles on about something in his classes to try and seek favor or a distraction or something that she can relate to but she just nods slow and disposes the used items. she’ll stand up and place a hand on his shoulder and look like she’s about to speak but her mouth opens and she has nothing to say so she gives a curt nod instead, like he’s supposed to understand what that means.
for the next month, each week sister will set up station in the bathroom and help with his doses until he works up the courage and comfort enough to tell her that he thinks he can handle it now- and she’ll pass over the syringe and vial because she knows he can. she can’t do the emotional part of this all, can’t hold copia and assure him he shouldn’t be afraid and that his worries don’t worry her too. but she can handle the practical things, can fight to make sure copia gets what he needs and prays that will be enough for however long it takes.
#so sick and tired of transphobic imperator content bc shut up no she wouldn’t say that :-((#she loves her weird baby she wants to spoil him and get him everything he wants☹️☹️#started t again after a few months off of it and i’m kinda in my feelings#the first time i thought about this was when i had to switch to gel because my fear of needles literally made me incapable of injecting#BUT I DID IT TODAY AFTER ONLY A MINUTE OF HOLDING THE NEEDLE. BE PROUD OF ME.#ghost#sister imperator#papa iv#ramblings
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Continuing from this post:
Bud doesn’t handle seeing Dusknoir very well at first.
Don’t worry, she warms up to him eventually.
#very rushed execution in this comic but I had to get the idea down#Bud later becomes Dusknoir’s greatest cheerleader but starts out absolutely petrified whenever she sees him#which. like. is totally fair.#if I was constantly hunted down by a big scary ghost who wanted to kill me and my brother when I was a little kid#I would be not very excited about seeing him again#he eventually wins her over by doing fatherly nonsense that Bud (unlike Twig) absolutely eats up#but it takes a bit to get there#(Jsab-fujii inspired that last panel so everyone go flood her with thanks for her Dadnoir content)#stuff by sofie#the present is a gift: paradox edition au#the present is a gift au#(kinda sorta. tagging it just in case.)#pmd2#pmd eos#pmd explorers#pmd sky#pmd#pokémon mystery dungeon#pmd grovyle#pmd dusknoir#pmd hero#pmd au#PMD comic#pokemon mystery dungeon#dadnoir#pmd comic#pmd sableye
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Continuing to be back on my bullshit, I'm rounding out the year with the next installment of my Blue Beetle au nonsense or.
AKA @wazzappp 's Blue Beetle headcanons give me life and I'm yoinking them because. Everyone deserves a little body horror. As a treat.
(Well. Except for Oo'Li, by virtue of being the type of alien (yk more or less) that the scarabs are using for that sweet sweet basic DNA template)
Anyway, following my timeline of Jaime ending up with his second 'upgrade' after the reboot re: Khaji Da's last ditch effort to keep him from smashing into the ground of terminal velocity, Xiomara and Roma end up more buggified after their altercation with the Crimson Scarab in issue...2? I think, when their powers get drained, in the same vein of their scarabs getting inventive with ways for their hosts to defend themselves in power drain scenarios.
In keeping with their power-sets/specialities, Roma ends up with a scorpion-esque tail (yes ik that's not an insect but if she can manifest tentacles Im saying it counts) and retractable claws, while Xiomara has fully armored hands/gauntlets and extra insectoid legs
#jaime reyes#oo'li a'barr#roma lopez#xiomara erazo#reachling au#it took me almost a. month and fighting for my life against art block (and ok. being distracted by ghost rider) but i made it#kicking and screaming but i made it#yeah idk why i added fancy dress even tho. i lost steam soo fast its just. some social/public event about the Horizon idk#anyway roma and xiomara might have escaped reachification but buggification leaves no prisoners#speaking of which. technically ig the Horizon are fairly alien-y for. a protagonist alien species (<so has to be bc of the Reach) but#can always be more :)#it is. soo obvious i started using references 4/5 the way into this but. whatever its fine#and ok. the teasing between oo'li and jaime did get me#....it might just bc bc i made jaime like. 1/3 reach and i think the hypothetical interplay would be fun#the cultural barriers! the flipping of it being his humanity that's new to oo'li vs the uh. everything else hes got going on#its about the vibes (<aroace and yet again leaning into relationships as a thought experiment maybe but. whatever)#also she's taller than him and yk. thats always fun#zsketches
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I was going to remark about how overlooked this moment is, but then I found out it’s a reputation boost too?? harry doesn’t even say anything earlier in the conversation! kim just autonomously loves harry more of his own accord, and then offers to spare dros and send him to the socialist state. bro grew his revolutionary plasm
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#dros: no fuck the srv lol#(pjõl spoilers ahead)#ghost nilsen hiding in the reeds like the phasmid: it hurts but he's got a point#its so funny how neither of them will defend the modern srv#the inframaterialist reading group will bend over backwards for it but nilsen himself is like yeah it sucks now#nilsen: and don't get me started on that stupid bear fighting thing#kim: oh don't be so hard on the bear fighting. it's a little amusing. besides—I enjoy a violent spectacle every now and again#nilsen: omg you really mean it?? thats the nicest thing ive heard all day
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Squilf doodle 💚
#artists on tumblr#warriors#warrior cats#squirrelflight#squirrelstar#<- yeah so I haven’t touched warrior cats in a hot minute. since like. freshmen year of high school ish#but apparently my babygirl is leader now?????????#????? and bramble isn’t dead but he did kinda die and get possessed by ashfur’s vengeful ghost???#and then stepped down after that?????#yeah warriors has gone even more off the rails than it already was but idc#actually correction I did touch warriors again when squirrelflight’s hope came out#i read all the summaries of the events up to that point so I could understand it and grabbed that book just because it was her#but whatever point is!! I haven’t drawn cats since I was like 12-14 but I felt like doodling her#i started playing clangen and got really into doing stuff with that so idk maybe I’ll draw some of my clan cats#is this a warriors revival for me? probably not#but I like revisiting it a little for old time’s sake
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So, bit of ramblings on my Post-Trimax Wolfwood headcanons.
Man, one of my favorite tropes in media is a character who's spirit lingers on after they've died, but it's usually something you only see in fanfic, so I cannot get over how FUCKING FERAL I was when I realized that it was legit a thing in Trimax, and that Wolfwood was the one we actually got to see, legitimately talking to the people he'd left behind and confirming that ghosts in the canon weren't just hallucinations or something! Like yeah, we saw Tessla leading the boys to her body, but since her ghost was never mentioned again, it could have easily have been written off as a fluke, right?
NOPE. They are real and they linger after to watch over the people they care about or to send messages to the people who are still alive! And the fact that the character who had just wormed his way into being just as beloved to me as my favorite character (Which NEVER happens, I usually only have enough brain cells for one at a time!) and that we had just had our hearts ripped to shreds watching him die was also the one we got to know had definitely stayed behind to watch over the people he loved just makes me SO HAPPY! I rp that asshole from time to time, and I just love exploring the implications of it!
I play him like he's been there a LONG TIME. When he died, Rem was there, watching over Vash, but when Knives spent the last of his energy, she chose to move on with him, now that she knew Wolfwood would be there to keep watch over Vash, and he took it SERIOUSLY. He's been waiting so long, he's lost his sense of time, he thinks it's only been a couple decades when it's been CENTURIES. And the time has softened his own trauma, he's gone from being surly and angry and defensive to being at peace and finding comfort in the fact that its allowed him to see more of Vash's life than he ever would have been able to live long enough to see when he was alive. And it's given him time to notice just how unwell Vash is, how broken he is, watching over him when he thinks he's alone and lets himself break down.
But it's also made Wolfwood a bit unwell in his own way; as time went on and the people he knew in life began to pass away, too, his interest in paying attention to what the people around them were doing wained, and his dedication to watching over Vash until it was his time to pass on became a strange sort of dependence. He loses his sense of self, in a way, until the most important thing in his existence is being there for Vash, waiting for him, having long-since accepted that when the time comes, it'll be over and he's alright with that.
He's happy, but to the perspective of a living person, it would seem TWISTED in a way. He still thinks he's a damned soul, stealing more time than he's allowed and only damning himself further by doing so, and he just knows that when he gets to walk Vash into whatever comes after for them, they'll be separated again, for the last time, and there won't be any coming back from it that time, because Vash is too good, too kind, too HOLY to ever be damned. But it's fine. Wolfwood knew he was damned long before his death, and time has just given him the chance to make peace with it and simply be happy with the fact that at least he'll be able to be with Vash when he can move on to wherever good people go at the end. And yet when it happens, Vash feels the same way about himself, so certain that he's the one who's damned, and their reunion is wonderful and painful and terrifying for both of them in different ways.
He's even worse with interacting with people, once he's forced to interact with the living. I play Wolfwood in a game where he stumbles into revealing himself after spending centuries never letting himself be seen, and he worries that going "silent" again will upset people. He's spent centuries being a silent shadow, certain that letting Vash know he was there would only cause more suffering for an already unwell mind, so he's forgotten how to interact with tact, blurting out whatever pops into his head because he's only had himself to talk to for all that time. He hurts people without meaning to, begins to suffer from the crisis of worrying that no matter what he does, he's a burden to the people who mourn him, he doesn't belong, his existence is nothing but a constant reminder of what's coming and will only cause the people around him pain. He's both able to be the kind, caring, loving person he might have been if the Eye of Michael had never taken him from the orphanage, and also a HUGE, ANXIOUS WRECK.
And the thing that makes it all worse for him is the fact that when he was dumped into the game I have him in, he was separated from the Vash of his timeline, and now lives in constant fear that he'll never see him again, that he won't be there when he passes on and there won't be anyone to greet him on the other side, alone and never knowing that he was waiting for him. He made a promise to Rem that he'd watch over him for her, that he'd lead him to his final destination where he could be with his family again, and now that he's lost that, what purpose does he have? He's terrified to let go himself, worried he'll pass onto the other side when Vash was right around the corner, but the thought of lingering without finding him again, missing his chance to be there for him when it's his turn, leaves him in an almost constant state of almost-panic.
I also just think it's kind of sweetly poetic, if in the end, he chose to continue the role he'd been forced into; take Vash where he's supposed to be. Only this time, it's his choice, and it won't be to his death. He wants to guide him to where he knows people are waiting for him, where he'll finally be happy and be at peace. He doesn't mind the fact that he's going to Hell, so long as he was able to be the one that leads Vash to the place where he won't have to be in pain ever again.
#Trigun#Trigun Maximum#Nicholas D. Wolfwood#Vash the Stampede#This probably is a bit insufferably angsty#I can't tell#I'm PMSing and having Vashwood feels and I'm making it eveyone else's problem!#But no really though I fuckin' LOVE ghosts in media!#Favorite trope 10/10 would rip my heart out again!#RP musings#Vashwood#Also yeah this may be completely out of character to other people but#S H R U G#This is just where my brain lead me when I started wondering what Wolfwood's ghost did after Trimax#Also I know it doesn't exactly fit canon but his Vash has started developing salt-and-pepper streaks in his black hair#and little age lines because he's like 500 YEARS OLD at that point or something#andI kind of love that mental image#Wolfwood still thinks he's the most beautiful thing on No Man's Land but he's VERY biased and has developed a bit of an unhealthy fixation
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irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris
what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris
which could mean nothing
#just making guesses chatting shit talking bollocks you know how it is#if anyone can debunk that first thing pls tell me!#feel like i'm wearing a tinfoil hat and it doesn't vibe with my outfits if y'know what i mean#feel like i should do a timeline but every time i try it gets out of hand#ok have some very messy puzzle piecing:#liam & noel texting/calling from time to time since jan 2020#noel splits w sara spring 2022 starts spending more time in manchester#maybe march mothers day something happened?? possibly liam & noel met up in april??? that's pure speculation though#pretty boy released oct 31 2022 noel stops wearing wedding ring#noel spends christmas in england for the first time in ages#liam listens to the smiths all christmas eve. on christmas he has a party for close friends and family (including bod)#liam and debbie go to france for the new year to house hunt#liam claims on twitter (no one believes him) that noel is with him on new years day#(((he posts a selfie that i uhhh got very tinhatty about.. don't worry about it)))#noel goes to a football game on jan 5 and he is in a very good mood#divorce news jan 14. liam's divorce playlist jan 15. allegedly out drinking together jan 16. noel does promo for new single jan 17#jan 18th liam claims on twitter noel wants to meet up#peggy's 80th birthday end of jan#liam's hip surgery beginning of feb#feb 6th he claims noel's “coming over later to wipe my arse and change the bedding he's a good lad really”#starts slagging noel off for real again in early march (he'd been “nice” since november's pretty boy promo)#news that he bought a house in france#noel does a bunch of promo at the end of march (when the 3rd single came out) some of which didnt air until june when the album came out#there's one interview where he seems very tired and hungover and he blabs about paris for ages#end of march is the 1st time he tells liam to call him. 2 months later he asks (goads) liam again a bunch of times#anyway i probably forgot some liam tweets from jan/feb and i really haven't looked into 2022 or 2021 yet#but yeah it's pretty clear they were hanging out 👁️👁️ jan 2023 and then things soured by march after liam's surgery#(((kinda wonder if noel ghosted him and then was too scared to call))) ←wondering that bc it's exactly what i would've done :/#the christmas eve/day stuff probably means nothing btw but well i'm feeling insane about the new years stuff don't even worry about it
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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I JUST REWATCHED PIWON MOVIE AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY
#okay first of all THEY DEBUTED WITH A MOVIE !!!! that's so crazy every time i think about it im like woooow#jongseob and intak acting debut when ???? they were sooo good omg unlike kyo i didn't remember how bad he was 😭😭 but his#character is hilarious so it's fine <3 ALSO i completely forgot yoo jaesuk and jung haein are in it like guysss what are u doing here hihi#anyways absolutely oscar worthy real cinema if u ask me#now after taking notes and watching the new trailer a few times i think that p1epi is actually chaeyoons weird talking plushie#but since it's away from her it can't talk so that's why jongseob create that thingy to translate from#dog language to human language and i think it's there because maybe the members got like lost in time and#it wants to remind them that they have to save the entire world from the apocalypse#also p1epi came down from the sky just like the alcot meteor like ummm yes we love symbolism 🙂↕️#i saw someone saying the dog it's actually intak because the dog came through the window and intak wakes up next to one but it doesn't make#any sense to me so we're throwing that idea in the trash can#talking about intak hes now has blue eyes so that means he got infected but honestly when did that happen while he was fighting#some zombie? idk i think i have to watch all their mvs again for clues but what that means he's one of the bad guy now??#also i may be insane but what if the shop represents the world and seeing it in flames means the members couldn't save it and their lore#ends with the saddest ending ever like yeah sorry the apocalypse won#OR WHAT IF !!!!! they aren't the ones who can save the world they actually are the reason why it's ending like the masked ghost#actually created them to spread the virus and that would also explain them at the end of the trailer looking#at the burning shop without doing anything like they ARE alcot the meteor thats gonna destroy the world#but that would be too dark i know they're the heroes so it will have a happy ending#i have many theories but im starting to scare myself so ill shut up#pt
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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You know, sometimes I’ll think “oh I really liked reading as a child but there weren’t any books that really molded my personality.”
And then I’ll look at a self insert character I’ve made and realize it’s literally a fucking reskin of Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities.
#because I’m just#the model of good mental health.#complicated relationship with love? check#complicated relationship with alcohol? check again#I literally said in front of my whole ninth grade English class that I felt this man on a personal level#and was CONFUSED WHY MY TEACHER WAS WORRIED BY THAT#me in 9th grade: yeah this man with the lowest self worth I’ve ever seen and is willing to throw his life away for the ones he loves?#me: yeah I aspire to be him because he’s just like me fr#my English teacher: *that Walter White gif of him falling over crying*#*shaking my fist* curse you Dickens you ruined me literature wise#I will never be free of this fucking English cunt’s ghost#don’t even get me STARTED on the run on sentences that bastard has kindled in my writing#if I could go back in time only once I’d use it to personally curb stomp Charles Dickens#anyways. this is the most I’ve ever talked about a self insert to someone who’s not my bff or partner#will I ever mention them again or even in more detail? we’ll see#captain's log
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