#he speedruns that shit bc hes like

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

thinking about the idea of grimmjow being relatively young for a hollow i guess bc the idea that he just pops out of the sand one day and jumpscares di roy and everyone is funny to me

[menlove]

"The two had never been close after the Beatles' split, but I know they'd met and talked a number of times. John's style was to walk away and stay away -- as he did with me: once his mind was made up he didn't go back. But he and Paul had had a deep and enduring affection for each other since they were teenagers and it had never disappeared."

-Cynthia Lennon, John (2005), pg. 386

[narwhalandchill]

welp those done & over with. kinda dont wanna quick access the weekly just for the namecard challenges but also not sure if im in the mood to do the SQ today either...... since im p sure the mid fight cutscene will play normally even if ur doing quick access for a weekly :/

[sulumuns-dootah]

What WHB characters would wear in the human world: Gehenna

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: Very much inspired by the fact that demons in Obey Me have their own lil outfits while going to visit their favorite human ^^

   ༺☆༻

This short king is very much hot biker guy coded.

You know those tiktoks of guys who are showing off on the road and then do stupid shit at gas stations? That's this guy right here

He's not really a brand specific guy, but if you press him, he'll rave to you about MXDVS (honestly, same here ^^)

Darkwear/Techwear/Warcore

   ༺☆༻

Soft boi™

Light colors, nature, tea

Despite having his uniform altered to have black slutty shirt, he's very much cottagecore

He bakes, makes tea and cares for his fellow demons, need I say more?

Soft boy/Cottagecore

   ༺☆༻

V europian gay prince coded indeed

Dorian Gray kinnie

Open shirts all year around, only when it's cold/raining, he'll wear a coat over his shoulders

Vampirecore/Light academia

   ༺☆༻

Lose Paimon in the crowd any% speedrun IMPOSSIBLE challenge

The more colorful, the better

Gotta wear bright colors to match their bright personality

Indie/Kidcore/Harajuku

also pics credit to @/butterfliesworkforsatan on tiktok ^^

   ༺☆༻

Another dramatic ass fashionista

This time make it goth

You can't see it, but he's got eyliner on

What you see, however, is Jiyu wearing the same eyeliner

Vampirecore/Romantic Goth

   ༺☆༻

Ooh he seducin' with more than his words allright

'Hey, my eyes are up here'

Sadly his snake has to be replaced by snake skin boots, but don'T worry, he snake is unharmed and chilling at home in Hell

Big Daddy vibes

Suits and trutlenecks

   ༺☆༻

Anything sporty, really

Likes wearing gray sweatpants bc he gets a lot of compliments

Thinks that grey is just his color

Don't ever tell him the real reason for the sake of u all

Also, maaaaaybee you could accdientally shrink his clothes in the wash so it's tighter on him?

   ༺☆༻

Oh boy, good luck explaining to Juno, that he can't exactly be mostly naked outside or he'll draw too much unwanted attention

'But I've got this insanely hot body! Why should I hide it? Other's should be lucky to see me like that! I'm literally the hottest red lump in Hell!'

Cue in Juno trying to find things that are technically clothes that still show off his muscles

Damiano David ultimatelly becomes his fashion icon

Also Hatari

When this man discovers fishnets? Ooh boy

Good luck talking him out of just wearing full fishnet bodysuit

(and yes, it's hard to find pics that wouldn't get my post flagged by tumblr)

[xf-cases-solved]

today we are sitting in our office at 6 in the morning thinking about...

that scene in "squeeze" that everyone knows by heart, where mulder asks scully, "do you think i'm spooky?" and it's very cute and weirdly sexually charged like all of their interactions are, but also that scene is really important to their character development actually??

this is episode three, and with the understanding that these two are unhinged and kind of speedrun the whole "i would die for you, you're everything to me, you jump i jump, etc" thing, ostensibly they're still getting to know one another, and, more importantly, mulder's still trying to gauge if scully is hashtag legit. like, his gut tells him that, yes, for some reason the fates aligned and made it so the shadow government fucked up real bad and actually sent him an ally instead of an enemy (and also she's not hard on the eyes either, just sayin'), and also she held a security operative at gunpoint for him just one episode earlier, so i think by this point he does genuinely trust that she doesn't have a secret agenda

what he is LESS certain of, however, is whether or not she is going to want to stick around once she fully understands just what a fucking bummer it is to be fox fucking mulder, resident hoover building loser. like she is this literal genius agent and medical doctor, who's professional and hot and kind, and she could easily have an extremely promising career ahead of her, and he doesn't think she understands just how detrimental it is for her to go all in with him. and this case, with these by-the-book buddies of hers, is the first time they are really facing that issue head on

going back to the aforementioned scene, mulder is testing her. through that whole bit, he's testing her. ("why didn't they ask me about the case?" "bc they're my friends and they're more comfortable with me" "why would i make them uncomfortable?" "bc of your reputation" "rEpUtAtIoN?? who has a reputation???") like he is trying SO hard to get her to stop talking around the issue and just say "they think you're a fucking freak, mulder," which ofc she won't, which is why, when she gives him the perfect set up with, "they think your theories are..." he IMMEDIATELY swoops in and asks, "spooky?"

and then he looks her in the eye and asks, "do you think i'm spooky?"

and he says it in his joking tone, but i fully believe that there is a genuineness there. he already knows before talking to colton and his cronies how the conversation is going to go, and he doesn't care, bc he doesn't care about their opinions, but he DOES care about her opinion, and i think that scares him. i think it's been a very, very long time since he last gave a shit about what someone thought of him, and he's extremely uncomfortable. i think that's why he goes so hard just seconds later with the straight faced "aliens are actually grey" thing with colton. he doesn't do it to taunt colton, or for his own amusement, but bc he wants to show scully flat out, "this is what they think of me, and this is how i am going to act in response. can you handle it? can you handle being a social pariah? or do you think i'm spooky?"

the theme comes up repeatedly in this episode, actually. he outright admits to being territorial over her, but in the same breath gives her permission to work on the case with colton instead of him, bc he KNOWS what a shit meal she's been served by the fbi, pairing them up together, but then she's like, "hmmm, idk, i think you must know more than you're saying and i wanna know what it is," and he is so delighted, bc not only does it mean that she's really committed to finding the truth, not just closing the case as fast as possible, but it also means that she's choosing him over them, and that N E V E R happens

but later in the episode he also makes the remark about how in thirty years she'll be "head of the bureau," which is another peek into his mind grapes, showing us that he's still very stuck on this idea that working with colton & friends is going to make her suddenly come to the realization of "oh wait, what am i DOING with this loser??" he's afraid of that happening, and he's afraid about the fact that he's afraid of it in the first place, and bc this is mulder and scully we're talking about, and neither of them are physically capable of saying what they're feeling, he just keeps making jokes and quips and being a dick to colton (who deserves it, but still), bc the alternative is admitting to scully, "hey, i really like your company and would kind of really very much like it if you didn't leave me for the cool kids agents," and he's not going to do that. not just bc of the vulnerability aspect, but bc he would view it as selfish, bc he fully believes that being stuck with him is bad for her (lol i wonder if that will become a theme throughout the entire series ha ha)

but anyway, turns out his worries are unfounded, bc it turns out scully will take being mrs. spooky over climbing the career ladder any day

"do you think i'm spooky?"

"no, i think you're a fucking nerd, now shut up get me my own desk. if we push them together we can play battleship, and then later we can get to know each other carnally"

or something

they're in love, your honor

this is only episode THREE

unhinged

[akaaiholic]

Glass Of You

Kuroo Tetsurō x Fem!Reader — Word Count: 609 ☆| sfw (reader has drank before, Kuroo drinks, ooc Kuroo maybe..?) (author’s note at the end.)

Kuroo has no experience drinking. At work parties, he leaves his glass of alcohol fully and takes the insults he’s given from his drunken co-workers for being a bore. There’s rumors around the office that he has a weak alcoholic tolerance and therefore, he turns down drinks. That’s not true. He just simply has no desire for alcohol because he hates the common side effects. Or at least, the common side effects his girlfriend has while he watches her drink, during and after.

It’s been a stressful week for Kuroo. Constant deadlines, barely making it on-time to work and coming to home to you who is already asleep at night. The thought of drinking was all he could think about halfway through the week. After seeing how you drink after a stressful week, his curiosity wanted to know what it felt like to reward oneself with substances. Today, he comes home on-time with a couple buttons off and his tie loosened. You get up from the couch and kiss his cheek as he walks in. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, inhaling your scent that smells like home.

The two of you stand idly for two minutes in comfortable silence before you take completely undo his tie for him and he whispers in your ear,

“You drinking tonight, babydoll?”

You made a negative responsive hum and was interrupted as you were about to open your mouth and ask why.

“Great. Can I drink please? It’s my first time so will you also take care of me? And make sure I don’t do anything stupid? And—”

How sweet of him to ask you for permission to drink for the first time and making sure you aren’t drinking either. Before you let him finish his sentence, you put your finger over his lips to hush him and nod.

“Yes handsome, I will. Don’t you worry about it.”

Taking his first shot of Soju felt like liquid fire going straight down his stomach. It starts with the fruity taste that goes first and the alcohol that tastes strong and the almost bitter taste follows after, and then the off-putting taste combined makes him scrunch his nose and stick out his tongue.

“Holy shit, how do you not make a face after the first shot of this?”

You laugh at his reaction as he slams down the shot glass to the table and fill it with juice so he could use it as a chaser.

“I’ve built up my tolerance, Tetsu. If you drink more often, maybe you could do the same.”

Kuroo shakes his head. While nights like these were what he felt like he needed, it’s something he would deem unnecessary every time he needed to unwind from a long week.

You refill his shot glass with Soju, juice, and water in the same order and by shot four, he was already past tipsy. He had held your hands every time you handed him back the glass, his lips brushing past your knuckles and kissing the engagement ring on your finger.

With the fourth shot, he holds the glass in one hand and drags your hand with the other to his cheek. His words are slurred, eyes half-lidded and face bright red.

“Can’t wait to marry you.. And have you allllll to myself and be Mrs. Kuroo. I also don’t want juice or water, I just need you then I’m all good..”

Your brows furrowed, taking your hand back from his cheek.

“Hand me the glass, Tetsu.”

Kuroo looks at you with half lidded eyes and a grin.

“Come closer and give me a kiss beautiful, I’ll think about it.”

authors note: new akaai word count record!!! wowie!! i don’t know where i went with this I’m so sorry haha.. i came up with the idea while speedrunning my morning routine bc i had ten mins before i left for school and all i could think about was Kuroo’s dumb smirk </3 if i have any niji readers my heart goes out to you ❤️‍🩹 feedback is always appreciated!

[infectiouspiss]

watching true crime shit sucks for lots of reasons but then sometimes it's like "the killer has [your diagnosis] and [your diagnosis] and [your undiagnosed but almost certain diagnosis] and he's so sick and twisted he enjoys [your interest] and [your interest] and as a child he liked [your childhood interest] and he's admitted to having [your intrusive thoughts] and [your paranoid delusions] and one time one of his many therapists said [something one of your many therapists said basically word for word] and all these things make him evil and dangerous and he should have been locked up decades ago" and ur just kinda sitting there like "oh ok" and u gotta go watch a legend of zelda windwaker speedrun to calm down bcs i can't explain shit about what goes on in my head but i understand how a manual super swim works so that's cool

[redrandomposts]

IM SCREAMING NOT UNSHA'S WIFE DIY-ING HER OWN KPOP IDOL 😭 she's so valid for that tho i admit

unsha's wife : my little pet deserves to sing more bc hes more talented than any other pet out there but i dont want him to be killed in a singing death match bc thats just bad for business

unsha's wife : time to set up a new entertainment agency

unsha's wife accidentally causing the final downfall of alien stage the show bc aliens start to realise that it's better for business and overall entertainment to have their fave human pet idols not get killed onstage and instead are able to release new songs every few months 🧍 they learn the appeal of fanservice and fanmeets !! maybe anakt garden starts the trend of human pet idol groups by making the first survival show. 5050 on whether they kill the losers of the show however 🤷

(our levels of copium is incredible 😭)

till discovering ivan's still alive and speedruns the 5 stages of grief AGAIN. he blacks out and suddenly he has a concerning amount of illegally-acquired navi merch ? what is he DOING ?! he needs to get his shit together and find a way to get ivan out of there bc that's the least he could do ???

hyuna watching tillivan pine for each other from afar and questioning how her life has gotten to this point

— 🌦️

unsha behind his wife: so, like, how much money are we making here?

unsha's wife: what money?

*ivan raking in billions.*

unsha: ...okay, honey.

always listen to the wife, folks!

till, the #1 contributor to illegal ivan merch in the hideout. mizi is close at #2, but that's only because she's always accompanying till on his little... fibbits. I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED. till brings back so much that they have no choice to sell it... which increases their funds by, like, 270%. ivan the money totem?

for publicity, ivan wears multiple outfits and there's a poll each week to which one they make merch of... till manipulates the votes by getting hyuna to hack into the system and raise his favorite outfit's votes.

heperu sends luka to unsha's wife's company when he sees the success. ivan first meets luka on livestream, where it's like, surprise! here's your enemy from years ago! and they vibe together.

ivan will often give luka more food and then is like, "so where's the best place to disrupt the making of robots?"

guys im fixing luka too he needs to eat more (for the baby too).

the rebellion wanted to save ivan... and then luka showed up and hyuna and mizi is much more reluctant, like, ew it's the blonde twink why is he there?

sorry till your wife is being shipped with another man. what can you do.

[taotaoirl]

toji malewife headcanons

this is my take on the malewife headcanons (written months ago)

tags: fluff, gender neutral reader, you guys are living together/married

i like to think that toji is the #1 malewife (even though it is likely just my delusions speaking!)

first and foremost, he is a great cook

just imagine toji in a white apron (tied around his slutty waist ofc)

he would wake up super early every morning just to make the both of you (and the kids) breakfast, which would likely be a traditional japanese breakfast (consisting of fish, rice, miso soup, and pickled vegetables)

on sundays, he would make you guys an english breakfast (consisting of eggs, bacon, tomato, mushrooms, toast and no baked beans bcs fuck baked beans)

reiterating the toji would-do-anything-for-you fushiguro agenda because he would even *attempt to make you all kinds of baked goods even though he always overbakes everything. and ofc you gotta gobble that burnt shit up telling him it was the best thing you've ever had

once again reiterating the toji would-do-anything-for-you fushiguro agenda: when he's not running from his responsibilities, he likes to cook you an elaborate meal at the end of the day and yes he does the dishes as well

after a long day of work, there is nothing better than coming home to a table set for two and a three-course meal prepared by toji fushiguro.

the set up is nothing too fancy, no decorations whatsoever, but the food is top notch

toji likes to sit at the end of the table, head slightly tilted on his hand, watching you eat the food he has carefully prepared for you. he doesn't say much, but you notice the way his eyes soften the moment you pick up your chopsticks and start eating

if you compliment his cooking, he will likely get flustered (though he doesn't show it). he will simply raise his eyebrows, look away and say that the kids helped too (the kids, in fact, did not help)

it is well-established that toji probably has pretty nasty hygiene, but it is also common knowledge that megumi's mom helped him get his shit together. so i like to think that as long as he has someone to depend on, he starts taking care of himself too. especially when he is handed the responsibility of taking care of his family- he will do everything he can to avoid falling back into his old habits (of ass hygiene)

if you are away for long hours/working/too tired, toji will step up and do all the cleaning for you- vacuuming, dusting, deep cleaning every room- whatever it is, you name it, he'll do it

he'll do it but it's gonna be a mediocre job at best. it's better than nothing though!

needless to say he's also quite good at fixing household items (basically a staple repairman husband)

once he's done will allat (he will speedrun that shit) he'll get back on the couch/bed, put an arm around your shoulder and enjoy his silence with you

[nicki0kaye]

if you liked Rebels

but you hate 'new' star wars

maybe the problem isn't Filoni

maybe the problem is that Rebels was produced for a channel no one watched so no one cared what he and his team did, so they had the freedom to do really great shit

and now they're under an insane time crunch to write/direct/produce/oversee one series after another all with different narrative goals where the success of one determines the greenlight for the next and every resource has to be carefully managed right down to how much time they're allowed to do second drafts, all of it towards a product meant for a huge audience entirely unfamiliar with Rebels drowning in culture war freaks

and the people you should be mad at are the freaks and Disney and really capitalism as a whole for creating a fucking meat grinder of a system through which creativity and joy are sacrificed on the altar of commerce

and not the dude who's OCs you love but is having to play a losing game to give you more content

maybe chill out

Mourn what Ahsoka could have been if it wasn't produced under the most hellish conditions imaginable into a forced speedrun of plot points bc season 2 was never a guarantee, and extend the guy some fucking grace

[day-mark]

I just think it would be very healing for dteam to keep participating in spreen and conter's events because they defend tryharding so bad they are the kind of people who participate for the competiveness and the thrill to win Which is so improtatn to me

yeah i think in general becoming friends with the team mafia guys has been very healing for them after dealing with the shitshow that is their mcyt circle :(((

huge agree they should keep joining events bc these guys actually get the competitiveness of dteam!!!! like i think a while ago spreen had that back and forth w sapnap (and dream a little? my memory is failing me omg) about mc speedrunning(?) and he said something about how its fun he could get into fake beef/talk shit like this without it being taken seriously

and if that isnt what dteam wanttttt 😭 not even the talking shit part really, but being competitive and able to own their skill without being called toxic, egotistical/neg, etc. and being able to show frustration when they do bad in a Competition.

dream complaining to spreen about the barrier blocks going away and how he died immediately and spreen just laughed and they were chill, dream (jokingly) cussing out the guy who made the shulker parkour, like he would get shot if he did that in any mc competition with the english fanbase 💀 hes been raked over the coals for less!!!!

anyways yes, dteam continue joining their events pls 🙂↕️

[majorxmaggiexboy]

21 eps in and what I’ve gathered about Caycay so far is that someone gathered together a list of every trauma ever invented and he got like, 73% of that out of the way in the backstory. Given the current of his life it shouldn’t take him long to get through the other 27%, maybe a few more years, so I’m calling it

Early adventuring retirement, takes up new job as an npc bookseller who gets a little too excited when adventurers stop by his shop, like you’re not getting out of the shop without him infodumping about every book on the shelf. He’s got at least 10 side quests u can trigger by actually bringing him a book. One is him sending the party out like “someone stole my book order 🥺” he doesn’t pay jack squat in gold either he pays you for the side quests in incense, fancy inks, paper, sometimes a magic item or something on the big quests

there’s like six cats that live in the shop and he takes them home with him every day, they’re actually on rotation roster bc he has approximately 30+ cats including Frumpkin

give him a nice comfy house that’s big enough for himself and approximately 30+ cats and all the magic shit he could ever want bc he deserves the world and should get to collect magic tchotchkes if he wants to, that’s the reward for 100%ing the trauma speedrun

i feel like he should also get to have a husband in there somewhere like if he’s doing the therapy speedrun on the side but either way someone should be supplying him with regular forehead kisses and general kisses, needs to have his spine cracked like a glow stick a couple times a week y’know he needs some serious hugs

Alternatively I’m pretty sure he has equal potential to just straight up get himself killed with the whole oooooh I Want To Bend Reality thing so “Caleb gets to live his best soft academia life” and “Caleb gets ripped apart by cosmic forces beyond mortal comprehension” both feel like episode headliners

[malscare]

like we were talking about this situation with our mutual friend at work that he fucked up. and he was on this whole thing about how he hates Walter White so much because he "reminds him too much of himself". scary statement on its own. but like specifically in the context of how walter acts so entitled and ruined every good situation he was in because something wasn't exactly the way he wanted it & how he's like that in his friendships with women & how he feels like he's always slotted into the gay best friend role but never viewed as an option even if that would make them less close/likely to open up

then he brings up the fact that he wanted to date me and was going to ask me out a couple weeks ago and then didn't because he doesn't want to embarrass himself but also feels like he already has (😐) and then doesn't want us to end up hating each other. i remind him of the "it would be pointless to date you bc you don't want kids and i do" situation & that i never considered anything more with him after that. he insists i misinterpreted what he was saying but that was literally his exact wording.

he then spends 20 MINUTES driving around trying to convince me 1. to have kids 2. to have HIS KIDS 3. how cute our kids would be and brainstorming a ship name. he's talking about me getting pregnant IN THE FUTURE TENSE, SAYING HE'S "MANIFESTING" and im actively reacting negatively. idk if he thought it was just a bit but he started singing a fucking hamilton child song as a quirky way to keep convincing me and only stops this shit when i make a move to jump out of the car at a stoplight. hating him speedrun any%

[rk1kincorrect]

ac characters playing mc:

desmond: (server owner) the one whos dying to fight the ender dragon. as soon as u spawn? “hey guys can we speedrun and fight the dragon asap?” and when the dragon dies, he respawns it each time. until every single end gate is unlocked. and keeps going

altaïr: mining the whole time. five minutes into the game, he already found diamonds, he’s looted five ancient cities, he’s in the nether, he’s got netherite . somehow maxxes out all his gear before anyone can blink (says he doesnt take it seriously but he acc does)

ezio: making huge farms. like, huge enough to make the server lag type farms. mob grinders are his SHIT. iron farms, mob farms, anything farms. tries to start a roleplay and everyone ignores him

connor: playing normally. likes to find villages to go and trade, probably taking it at a normal pace. doesnt rly care for netherite. is content with half iron, half diamond armour

jacob: dies in a lava pool within 5 mins and quits . comed back five days later and gets annoyed everyone else is ahead and he’s got nothing so he rage quits again

evie: similar to connor, but she actually wants to get netherite. shes probs a try hard too icl, loves speedrunning and doing mlgs and insane tricks. jacob claps for her each time

arno: likes to build things, not houses, more like shops and statues. steals all the blocks from altaïr’s chest to make them tho, so altaïr ends up using shulker boxes instead.

bayek: walks into a cave upon spawning and gets trapped so he logs off forever

basim: gets banned within the first 10 minutes

edward: drowns 6 times bc he doesnt know how to swim in mc so he just starts blowing up everyones bases bc hes annoyed and bored. arno, basim, evie, connor get annoyed so they kill edward until he logs off. they spawn trap him

haytham: doesn’t join

[fuck-customers]

never before have i worked under a supervisor who got mad at me for trying to help with other tasks when i otherwise had nothing the fuck else to do. 👨‍🍳🌌

i’m doing temp work at a catering kitchen with a few other coworkers and my usual chef while our usual location under the same company is closed for reasons. it’s literally my third fucking day here. today they tagged me in to help with “hand-outs” for a buffet service—basically i just had to stand there and wait for a buffet runner to come back and ask for a salad. the salads were already on their shelf, ready to unwrap and pass out. i am straight up just standing there doing fuck all. my usual chef from the kitchen i’m typically at (i’ll call Chef) is helping oversee the buffet service as the on-duty chef, there’s another guy actually managing it and touching base with the organizers running the event (i’ll call Guy), and then there’s this hot line supervisor (i’ll call Bibi) and the two other temps helping her.

Bibi goes off to do god-knows-what, and again, i’m literally just standing there doing fuck all, so i step over to help Chef and the other temps arrange shit for the hot plates on buffet—garnishing pans, etc. we get their shit dressed, put it back in the hot holding boxes, ready to hand out to the runners. i’m keeping general track of where everything is because…i don’t know, i’m fucking paying attention and make sure i can snap into action at a moment’s notice if called to do so? mostly i’m just transferring pans back and forth for dressing and finding the odd places things have been stowed so it’s not that hard for me to follow when i’m the one being told to put shit back. Chef and Guy walk off to do something, i think to do with the organizers or the buffet attendants, making sure we have all our garnishes to match spec, etc.

Bibi comes back losing her mind because apparently there’s *another* event that got their hot entrees mixed up with ours? so i, trying to be helpful, pipe up to mention which hotbox the just-dressed pans were put into, because like. we don’t fucking want those being taken. and instead of something simple like “i’ve got this handled, thank you” and going back to her shit, she drops everything she’s fucking doing and starts giving me this, like, straight up almost two minute condescending LECTURE. talking to me like i’m fresh out of kindergarten and never stepped foot in a kitchen before instead of a fucking 30-year-old man who’s been in this industry for the better part of a decade, about how *she* can handle *her* hot side and *i* can handle *my* cold side and a bunch of circular bullshit reiterating on that point and by her tone and body language, not so subtly disparaging my intelligence as she did so. straight up i would have felt more highly respected if she just called me a slur to my face.

i’m staring at her like she’s sprouted a second head, but again, it’s my third day here and she has seniority, so i bite my tongue. like, what the fuck? you’ve got a guy here who’s willing to step up and do something other than stand there with one thumb up my ass and the other on my phone to fight the urge to take a nap for the goddamn hour and a half until we even open service. and you’re going to stand there and lecture me for it? like i’m a child?? with your whole chest??? you are 40 years old and acting like this. wow. i appreciate the refusal to adhere to “time to lean, time to clean” mentalities but jesus fucking christ. it’s like she was perfectly genetically engineered to irritate me specifically and decided to speedrun pissing me off.

anyway, Bibi fucks off with the hotbox holding the vast majority of our backups for the beef entree. (we would later run out and have to call her to fucking bring some back because all we had otherwise was chicken and salads.) brief interlude with the return of Guy and him touching base with the temps. we’re standing around on our phones and chatting bc there’s nothing to do; he asks where the other hotbox went, and i actually AM allowed to explain that Bibi came and took it for the other buffet, but we’ve got X number in this other one, because Guy is actually halfway understanding of how operating a fucking kitchen as a team works, i guess. they check and confirm. rinse and repeat with Chef, also a halfway reasonable person to work with. again, they walk off to do whatever.

Bibi returns. she’s looking for a garnish. i start to point it out. this time she just cuts me off to dive into *another* lecture. i’m fed up at this point so i just interject “i’m communicating where i put it because i’m the one who was told to put it away” and this time it turns into an almost three minute lecture about the same bullshit of her handling her shit and me handling mine. i am physically struggling to keep my cool at this point and biting my tongue to keep from getting into an argument with her. i have to step back and put the speed rack with my salads on it between the two of us so i don’t have to fucking look at her.

Bibi walks away as Chef comes back. he’s worked with me a year he knows the Look i get when someone’s crossed a line with me and it’s taking everything in me not to metaphorically spontaneously polymorph into a silverback gorilla. and he comes back over to the buffet arrangement.

Chef: “So, what do you think of Bibi?”

Me, making unblinking eye contact: 🫠 (the longest, slowest, deepest inhale i have ever taken in his presence)

Chef: “Yeah, that’s why she doesn’t work for me anymore.”

turns out he has repeatedly had to get HR involved because of her behavior/attitude, resulting in her getting in the hot seat almost every time they have to work together when she just needs to learn when to stop fucking talking to people like that, and Guy agreed that she’s constantly out of line damn near every fucking time they’ve had to work with her, and they’re one of the location’s powerhouse workers. the fact that she still has a job there at all is so far fucking beyond me.

again, it was my THIRD DAY at this location, my first time working buffet service there, my first time working with her, and i barely got through a full sentence trying to be helpful and expedite things before she decides to take it upon herself to waste her own time by trying to break years of “doing more than your job description instead of simply doing nothing when you have no active tasks” conditioning in the most condescending way i could have possibly conceived of.

i’m so fucking insulted i’m seriously considering telling Chef not to volunteer me for any more temp shifts over there until i’m not at risk of having to work with her, because if she doesn’t learn to talk to me like i’m a fellow fucking human being, i will end up losing my temper, and i will certainly be asked not to come back regardless. i’ll just have less choice in the matter.

i might have to figure something out for seasonal work anyway while things are getting squared back away at my usual site, but i’d rather take my chances with a second job than risk having to deal with this fucking bullshit, and i don’t think i’ve made the best first impression at this other site anyway.

Posted by admin Rodney

[dutiful-wildcraft]

141 Headcannons: Video Games

Here, have something silly!!

Soap: Never takes anything serious, always names his character something goofy. Protag has their own backstory? Not anymore. Soap is making one up. Crash bandicoot is now a career criminal hell bent on stealing crystals. Cranks all the sliders to the max in character creation. Gets insanely butthurt about losing pvp. It has come to fisticuffs over mario kart. He's the type to make Arthur Morgan bald and choose all the wrong dialogue options. He's a big puss when it comes to horror games.

Gaz: Likes to do speedruns for fun. If the game has multiple endings he will play through each one. Feels just a little bad for being mean in game. Studies guides to figure out all the dialogue options and what they result in. Loved 999. Enjoys fromsoft games and makes multiple builds for shits n giggles. Completionist, will play long after he doesn't like the game just to get the achievements. Falls into wiki lore rabbit holes for the obscure shit. Likes side scrollers. Makes the most diabolical levels in mario maker. Has been playing candy crush consistently since he was a teenager.

Ghost: Didn't play much until Gaz fixed him up with a solid computer for his office. Then mostly played bc Gaz and Soap needed a third guy for stuff. Plays completely silent when online with them. He's mindlessly gathering resources in their minecraft server. No build. Only mine. This was the gateway to his love of survival games. Alternates between The Long Dark and Rust. Half-life enjoyer (Imagine him playing The Hidden). is not phased by horror games at all. Stomps absolute ass in online multiplayer, hates campers (chronically camps). has stardew valley on his phone.

Price: Not a gamer, unless the rest of the team is playing. Then he'll jump in. Really likes racing games. Once played resident evil with Soap and got so enraptured that he lost hours of time, got freaked out and quit playing. Gets more upset than Soap when playing online shooters. (It's the controllers fault, he can aim better than that!) Really likes sitting in the room and watching the other play, he's a back seat gamer and just enjoys watching the story. Barks out directions or help throughout, “That way Soap, behind you!” “You missed ammo!” Plays words with friends with all the boys, will send reminders.