#he sees danzo after this anyway

[darkclouud9]

what if I write a fic where Tenzo *did* take Kakashi's sharingan. like ik the whole scene is about Kakashi making him realise danzo is shit but what if he still betrayed him 🥺

would certainly make their relationship as adults a whole lot more awkward. Tsunade puts Yamato in charge of Team Kakashi n Kakashi - hospitalised - can only live in fear of what he'd do while in charge 😭

[oh-no-its-bird]

Kakashi Anastasia AU. Specifically bc I started listening to once upon a december on loop, oops

But umm. Anastasia AU. Taking place in a weird mix of old Russia and old Japan with little to no shinobi presence. The Hatake house was once this great, powerful clan that ruled over Iron Country, till a man (stuck between Danzo or Madara— tho also Orochimaru could make for a funny Rasputin) swore to tear them down from their lofty position

Eventually pretty much the entire clan is killed and or scattered, and in the chaos Sakumo and Kakashi manage to escape the palace but are separated. Years pass and the political climate has chilled the fuck out, and while the Hatake's are no longer in charge, Sakumo remains in a position of relative wealth and power

Kakashi, meanwhile, who was a child at the time of the upheaval, has grown up and no longer remembers his father or anything of his former life— he doesn't even remember his previous name, going instead by Sukea.

But there's a rumor on the streets, that somehow Kakashi had survived. And that his father would pay his weight in gold to see him again

And so between markets selling old Hatake belongings stolen from the palace, Rin and Obito strike up a plan to find themselves a Kakashi look alike, train him to the part, and present him as the "real" Kakashi— all for the reward.

And they find the perfect Kakashi in the shape of one street boy named Sukea

So I'm typing this out and I cant lie, I'm a bit torn between Kakashi as our Anastasia or Sakumo. I think both could make for pretty interesting stories, so lets just do both, actually. For fun.

Kakashi as Anastasia

So like I said, Rin and Obito as Dimitri and Vladimir.

They're scrappy street conmen, and their latest great idea to get the hell out of their shitty situation called life is to make themselves a 'Kakashi' to present to Sakumo and hopefully get the big reward.

This plan sounds pretty shitty, but they have one big advantage— Obito and Rin both actually used to work in the palace, and were there the night the Hatake's fell. In fact, that night Obito actually helped Kakashi and Sakumo both escape through one of the hidden servants halls, set into the wall as a false wall. So he came out of that night knowing how they'd escaped and also holding onto a music box that belonged to Kakashi, which he'd dropped.

Obito's big plan is to use the music box to prove his Kakashi is the real one, as presumably only the real one would have it, especially since he'd had it on that fateful night (till he dropped it anyways)

So, Rin and Obito find Sukea, and they're like "oh man this is perfect, you have the hair and everything!" and Sukea is like "??? who are you people leave me the fuck alone???"

And the thing is, they dont like. Want to tell Sukea they want him to pretend to be Kakashi, bc he'd say no. But they have an advantage bc Sukea just so happens to have a very poor memory of his childhood, is an orphan, and is about the right age! So they instead just begin to gaslight him into believing he really is Kakashi

After a couple roadblocks, this works,,, surprisingly well, actually.

Anyways just Rin, Obito and Sukea road trip to fire country to reunite Sukea with his maybe dad, Sakumo

Over the course of getting there, little bits and pieces of his childhood begins to come back to Sukea. Helped along, ofc, by Obito and Rin feeling his own history to him.

And ofc as Rin and Obito are feeding him this information he's going "omg its all coming back to me,, I remember that guy,, I also remember (thing they never told him about)"

And they're looking nervously at each other like "??? did you tell him that?? I didn't tell him that"

and Sukea is taking to their lessons incredibly easily (almost like he really did this all as a kid, wow how impressive)

And at this point also just, have fun w the Hatake lore. Really get in there, there's a great excuse of Rin and Obito teaching him about his families history.

Uhh fun scene of Obito teaching Sukea to ballroom dance,,,, Rin is playing music for them as Kakashi takes to it like a fish to water, quickly outpacing Obito. Rin is giving a side eye at the romantic tension between them as Obito gets way too flustered as Sukea teases him ab who there is the real dance instructor

It's around this time that Sukea really does become Kakashi, even in his own mind

They arrive in fire country !!!

Obito and Rin are both starting to feel uhh,, a bit of guilt for having so thoroughly gaslit Sukea into thinking he's Kakashi, especially as when they arrive, they are hearing rumors of how there are plenty of other fake Kakashi's hounding Sakumo.

And like. Oh man, if their Kakashi is caught as a fake it'll probably fucking crush him. They've convinced this man that he's going to meet his long-lost father.

But also, hey, if they get him in, everyone's happy, right? Sukea gets a father, Sakumo gets a son, Rin and Obito get their money!

And then they'll split ways. And that's fine. Obito is so fine about that. There's no reason at all why he'd feel bad about having to split up from Kakashi now, like, at all. In the slightest. Shut the fuck up Rin.

(Obito might be starting to catch a feeling or two and its just all a mess. It's a slow moving car crash and they're in too deep to back out now)

So they approach Sakumo— or try to, anyways. Seeing as he's, yk, the last standing Hatake, important guy, all that, they don't get very far. But they do manage to get an audience with one of his servants. Who for this we're going to say is uhhhhhhh

throwing a dart at a board here, yk what? Dan. Sakumo's trusted second in this au is gonna be Dan, Tsunade's dead boyfriend. Good for him.

So they get an audience with Dan, and Obito and Rin are like "omg look its the REAL Kakashi !!!!" and Dan is like "yeah thats what the last 10 "real Kakashi's" all said."

But he starts asking Kakashi questions, ab his history, all that, and it's going pretty well. Kakashi has remembered a lot of this, and had a lot more of it trained into him by Rin and Obito— who are, by the way, also in the room and sweating bullets as the interrogation happens.

But then Dan asks the final question. How did Kakashi get out of the palace that fateful day.

And Obito is like oh fuck I didn't tell him that one. But it's too late, bc Kakashi is thinking it over, and finally Kakashi goes,

"there was this boy,,, and he,, opened up a wall, I think. For us to escape through."

Which, again, Obito never told anyone about.

So Obito is like [incredibly loud 10 car pile up noises] oh FUCK this is THE ACTUAL KAKASHI

but he cant say shit bc the interview is ongoing and hey, good news, they passed!! Dan will go tell Sakumo he has (another) Kakashi here to see him.

So as they wait, Kakashi wanders off for some fresh air and Obito tells Rin what he realized, and Rin is like, oh my GOD????? Oh fuck, we ,,, actually found his family. Obito, we actually found the Hatake heir

and Obito is like I KNOW!!!

and Rin is like Obito, we FOUND THE ACTUAL HATAKE HEIR !!!!!

And Obito is like I KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!

So they're freaking the FUCK out but then Kakashi comes back in and they have to pretend like they weren't hyperventilating 2 seconds ago while Kakashi kinda side eyes them and goes "damn, and I thought I was nervous about this"

So. They are allowed to see Sakumo.

Specifically, Obito is allowed to see Sakumo while Rin and Kakashi wait outside in the hallway.

So Obito is brought in by Dan, whos like,

"hey boss, this is uhh—"

"Uchiha Obito"

"This is Uchiha Obito, he claims to have found Kakashi."

and Sakumo, who is hella depressed and totally sick of this shit, is like "oh great, another one."

and Obito is like, "omg ur uhh. Highness. Majesty. Sir Hatake. Fuck."

And Sakumo is looking at him, very visibly unimpressed, and it's really not helping Obito's nerves right now.

So Obito tries to make his case but Sakumo is frankly just not hearing it— he's seen so many fake Kakashi's and he's just. So tired. He wants to be left alone. His son is dead, he's given up hope.

And suddenly Sakumo is squinting and going, wait what was your name again?

And when Obito tells him, Sakumo is snorting and going "yeah bitch, I've heard of you. Werent you holding auditions for a good person to play Kakashi?"

and Obito kind of bluescreens and is like, "I mean— Yes, but— Listen, you dont understand, this is the real Kakashi!"

And Sakumo is like "Yeah, sure he is kid. I bet you trained him real nice and authentic too. Bet he's very impressive. Get the fuck outta here."

And Dan pushes him out of the room— straight into Kakashi. Who heard everything and has made some pretty damn logical assumptions, and is now totally devastated

So Kakashi Rin and Obito (but mostly Kakashi and Obito) get into a shouting match as Kakashi is just. Devastated. So what, Obito and Rin have been using him this entire time? It was all a lie? They never really thought he was Kakashi, they just played into his vulnerability and desire to know his family, because they wanted the reward money?

And Obito and Rin both are trying to say no, they promise— Or well, at first, but you have to hear them out, he's the real deal!

But they're tripping over their words in their panic and Kakashi— Sukea —isn't hearing it. Isn't interested.

Sukea stomps off, leaving a totally devastated Obito and Rin and a pretty awkward Dan, who just kinda stood by and watched this all happen like "damn, tough luck"

But it's not over yet, Obito and Rin both refuse to let it be over yet. So Rin distracts Dan as Obito proceeds to car jack Sakumo when he goes to leave the opera house this whole thing went down at.

And Sakumo is like "I will literally fucking kill you. Pull the car over NOW." as Obito is absolutely terrified for his life but more determined than ever (and just praying the glass between him and Sakumo protects his ass)

And they finally get to the hotel Kakashi and them had been staying at, and Obito slams the door open and is like "LOOK—"

Sakumo punches him in the face.

Obito is pretty sure his nose just shattered.

Obito tries again, through the blood and pain, with a now harder to understand but no less determined, "LOOK—"

His nonstop determination to be a fucking maniac is impressing Sakumo just a little bit by now, so he decides to see what this loser has to say.

Obito gives Sakumo the music box he picked up from the palace way back in the beginning of all of this, and begs him to just see Kakashi. And Sakumo, sick and tired of all of this but genuinely shaken by the reappearance of his son's music box... agrees.

So! Sakumo heads upstairs to where Kakashi is very angrily packing his shit up, getting ready to haul his ass back to Iron Country, alone. And he knocks on the door and Kakashi shouts at him to go the FUCK AWAY, OBITO !!!! HE DOESNT WANT TO SEE YOUR LYING BITCH ASS EVER AGAIN !!!!!!

And Sakumo is like, "well. You have the attitude to play my son, at least."

And Kakashi freezes and is like, "oh my god Im— Im so sorry. Oh fuck, Im so sorry, why are you here, I— I'm sorry, this is a waste of you time, I never meant to pretend to be your son, I just wanted to know who I was"

And Sakumo just kind of watches him as Kakashi keeps talking, apologizing, cursing Obito and Rin's names both, trying to explain he had no idea that this was supposed to be a con, refusing not to even look at Sakumo.

Kakashi just keeps talking till Sakumo finally interrupts, admitting, "I have to say, you are the most convincing actor I've seen so far."

Kakashi kind of blanks.

They talk.

Kakashi shares things he remembers. Sakumo listens. He tries not to hope, he tries so hard not to hope, but he can't help the feeling that wells up inside of him each passing moment that Kakashi speaks.

This entire time, Kakashi has had a necklace. It's nothing too special; he likes to fidget with it sometimes. He's had it as long as he can remember. It's now, that Sakumo notices it. Asks him what it is.

"What, this?" Kakashi looks at the necklace, which he genuinely forgets he has sometimes. "I've had it since.... forever, I guess."

Sakumo shows him the music box, and immediately, Kakashi knows what to do.

The necklace fits into the music box's lock like it was made to be there. Probably because it was.

Kakashi looks at Sakumo with the same painfully hopeful eyes, the same expression of 'Was this it? Did I do it right?' that he used to aim at his father whenever he learned something new.

Sakumo crumbles.

So!!! Reuinion time !!!! Kakashi and Sakumo both cry, it's a big messy thing, they are very happy. Tears and emotional vulnerability all around.

Rin finally makes it home, looking a little ruffled from some presumed off screen fight between her and some security guards, but fine over all. She approaches Obito, gasping out an urgent, "How did it go?"

Obito doesn't even look at her, only nods up towards the second story window. "Look for yourself."

Rin follows his gaze, greeted with the sight of father in son hugging each other like they were scared the other would disappear if they loosened their grip so much as a single fraction.

"Oh." Rin says, torn between awe and relief.

"Oh." Obito echoes, feeling about the same way.

Later that week, Obito is called in to accept his reward money. He's already discussed it with Rin, and they both agreed— they can't accept it. It... doesn't feel right.

Sakumo is surprised. Impressed, even. He walks Obito out and they pass by Kakashi, who is like, "well have a GREAT life, Obito. With all your stupid REWARD MONEY, since that's all you ever REALLY wanted!"

And Obito doesn't argue, doesn't deny it, just leaves. Figuring it's the best thing he can do for Kakashi. But as he goes, Sakumo turns to Kakashi and is like "yeah so he didnt accept the money lmao"

Kakashi blue screens.

"He,,, didn't accept,,, the money?" Then, what was this all for? What the fuck? Kakashi, above all else, finds himself really fucking mad.

So what. Obito and Rin trick him, lies to him, brings him here under false pretenses that... end up not being so false, if only by chance. Then they have the gall to NOT accept their reward, to return home in defeat, abandoning Kakashi here, like cowardly little BITCHES

Long story short: Kakashi chases after Obito in the street. It's a very busy street, they have a large audience— not that either of them seem to care.

There is screaming. There may be a punch thrown. Possibly two.

In the mess of it all, someone kisses the other. It's unclear who starts it, but the next thing Kakashi knows there are lips on his, teeth clicking angrily against his teeth as they swap from fighting with their fists to fighting in a much less effective way.

When Kakashi drags Obito back inside, his father doesn't look as surprised as Kakashi feels like he should.

Umm then they all lived happily ever after, the end <3

I ended up not really using a Rasputin character for this, which tbh Im ok with. I think the more down to earth take is kinda fun in itself, so I'll stick to it.

Anyways. On the flip side:

Sakumo as Anastasia

I think Sakumo could make a particularly interesting Anastasia in part due to his age. Because where Kakashi is this young man, honestly still probably like 18/19 year old guy, reuniting with his dad, learning about his past, all of that good stuff— Sakumo is in his early 30's, a whole grown man with a child, doing the same thing.

There's no cap on how old you can be to learn about your past or rediscover yourself, and I think Sakumo would make a fun Anastasia for that alone.

Also it's an excuse to use his mother in a plot, lmao

Sakumo has already had Kakashi, so he's like lugging around his 5 year old son with him this entire adventure, which is fun for the both of them.

I think the sanin would make for a very funny Dimitri and Vladimir. It's Jiriyah and Tsunade leading the charge on this excellent get rich quick scheme, Orochimaru is along for the ride

I spent so long on Kakashi as Anastasia, I kind of don't want to go too in depth with a Sakumo as Anastasia au, but like. It could be fun. Obviously, it'd hit p much all the same beats— this is one of those easy AUs that follow the original story pretty much one to one, tho idk if Sakumo's route would include any romance like Kakashi's did

Uhh, Sakumo/Orochimaru anyone I guess? I do love that pairing, it is true

Anyways now I'm watching this and this compellations of Dimitri, picturing him as Obito, Vladimir as Rin, and Anya as Sukea/Kakashi and having way too much fun giggling about it

Final thoughts: Anastasia is an excellent movie, you should watch it.

[moldy-flowers]

Naruto au where Jiriya comes back to Konoha to adopt Naruto like he promised to do but somewhere along the way they get Tsunade back in the village and Tsunade becomes Sasukes caretaker (She adopts him but neither are comfortable calling eachother mother and son yet so they stick with "The Lady in my house who cooks bad" and "the brat who doesn't appreciate good meals when he sees them")

Then at some point when Naruto and Sasuke are genins Jiriya and Tsunade get married and now Naruto and Sasuke have to live together. There's a really emotional scene of Sasuke having to say goodbye to his old home and its like "oh god its really all over they're not coming back I'm not coming back I can't just leave them behind I need to let go but I just can't do it" and Tsunade calls Sasuke her son for the first time and he totally doesn't cry!!!

Forest of death but Sasuke Sakura and Naruto already know who Orochimaru is, Sasuke knows absolutely not to trust him so the curse mark doesn't really affect him too horribly but it does lead for a lot of tension in the group. Also after being the girlboss she was born to be Sakura decides she can't be protected anymore and bc Tsunade is like, right there she asks her if she can be trained and Tsunade says yes obv. Hiruzen dies purely because i hate that guy but Orochimaru also dies to Jiriya and Tsunade also because I really really hate him too.

Theres the time when Kisame and Itachi visit Konoha and Itachi hears Naruto refer to Tsunade as his mom and Sasuke as his brother and hes GOT to know what's going on so he spies on them and learns that Sasukes been adopted but he sees this moment of Tsunade announcing she's pregnant (what a shocker she was 🤏 that close to never having to worry about pregnancy ever again but Jiriya just couldn't keep it in his pants for another 2 years, the manwhore.) And itachi sees Sasuke realising he's gonna be an older brother and being super happy about it saying he's gonna be the best big brother ever (Hades hangs his laundry on the bar its so low all he's gotta do is not kill everyone and he's already better than Itachi) and Itachi is like "ah man but how's he gonna get stronger there's no hatred in there i need him to do my suicide for me!!!" But Jiriya noticed he was there and confronts him a little later but see Jiriyas a little smarty pants and has been living in Konoha for years and always knew there was something fishy with the massacre and danzo so Jiriya just bluffs his way to the truth (Phoenix is that you?) And he's like "look Sasukes ur brother but he's my son now, he has enough nightmares and enough trauma and enough trust issues to last him a lifetime feck off and if you wanna die so bad then kill yourself and don't use your brother as a tool for ur suicide" <- I may be projecting a bit but ANYWAYS Itachi and Kisame have to leave Konoha bc Naruto is under watch by Kakashi, Tsunade and Jiriya and they are NAWT winning that fight.

Skip to shippuden era Sasuke v/ Itachi fight but Itachis been skipping out on his meds!! (He did it because he's a nerd loser guy who thinks "oh man sasuke isn't angry or filled with hatred and overall living a really terrible and unfufilling life he's probably so weak i need to stoop down to his level") Oh no so hes really super sick and Sasuke has picked up a lot from Tsunade so he knows Itachis time is near and although Sasuke really wants Itachi dead he's like "fuck it, dude you absolutely ruined my life and gave me trauma I'm never ever going to recover from sometimes I still wonder if my friends or family are going to turn around and kill me do you know how fucked that is why the hell did you even do that I don't want some bullshit excuse tell me" like he absolutely chews that loser (derogatory) out and Itachi is like, "kk ill tell u everything" and Sasuke is RUINED and he takes like a long 30 minutes of silence between the two just sitting there for Sasuke to go like "Itachi, I don't... think I forgive you. But I understand why you did it. I would have done it too" And its very emotional!! That moment is all Itachi needs bc he was sort of barely clinging onto life as it is and now that he's got peace he can finally die and they share a really sweet moment before he goes :(

And when Sasuke gets home and cries, (this time he can admit it cause he's a big boy now and understands it's okay to feel) to Tsunade he calls her his mother for the first time and its so ahaishahabnabsjsjnd

Anyways they all lived happily ever after the end no wars no nothing all over bye bye

[sasukeless]

(had to post screenshots because tumblr wouldn’t let me answer the long ask sorry. also the last sentence got cropped but there wasn’t much in it anyway so)

i’m sorry but the way this essay gave me such a headache reading… like half of it feels like bait if i’m being serious or someone who never touched naruto decided to give their opinion after skimming through antis comments or something…

like for starters op complains that sasuke is “all over the place” because his goal change from wanting to kill his brother to destroy the leaf to want to be hokage which is like Ridiculous complaint to me because characters ARE supposed to change and grow as the story goes, staying the same is not good characterization? calling sasuke illogical and incoherent when what they ask it’s nonsensical? but also the way it’s worded it’s silly as well because they act like these extreme changes in sasuke happen overnight with no reason at all when that’s far from what it’s going on.

sasuke is a character that’s been lied and deceived since he was a kid through his whole arc he keeps finding out truths that keep shattering his reality and rebuilding it and he tries to make sense of the world and himself with what he’s given. sasuke is objectified and treated as a vulnerable target by older figures trying to manipulate and use him constantly and his arc is about him doing everything to try to get his agency and be free from people’s control. he is, of course, affected by the influence these characters have in him and thanks to the lies and coercion it’s a rocky path for him. i said once that sasuke feels like a character who’s eyes have been blinded and the story progresses with him taking the bandage around his eyes slowly and coming to terms with the world he’s been denied to see.

the whole “naruto and sakura are willingly to help him take revenge” is mere useless thinking because that’s not the reason why sasuke left! sakura offered to help him (even if it was for her own selfish reasons to stay w him rather than caring for sasuke and his desire of revenge) and sasuke still rejected her. sasuke leaving happened due a domino effect of reasons why. it starts with him seeing how no one could give him the power he thought he needed, itachi coming back and making sure to remind sasuke to center his life on itachi and revenge again and obviously orochimaru cornering him and leaving no other choice but to seek him out due the curse mark. it has nothing to do weather naruto and sakura help him.

“He was the one who killed his brother. If he didn't attack Itachi, Itachi would still be alive.” again this has to be bait because otherwise i doubt someone can be this stupid? acting like sasuke wasn’t controlled and manipulated to kill itachi BY ITACHI’S OWN DOING? and sasuke’s anger at danzo it’s obvious sorry i’m not explaining this even dudebros get it.

“There is no logical reason for Sasuke to go and revive the Hokage. If Itachi, the only person he love and respect, couldn't convince him, no one can.” / “And last but not least, his decision to become Hokage and take over the world.”

i never understood why people miss so much the point of sasuke wanting to become hokage when he spells it out. literally after listening to the hokages reasoning he has a big collage thinking of itachi and then when he’s dying in he war arc his last thoughts are that he doesn’t want to fail for itachi’s sake.

itachi showed sasuke his unconditional love to sasuke and answered the question that sasuke is INDEED above the village (and his family it seems lol) by telling sasuke he would love him always even if sasuke destroyed the village he cared for and this indeed was what moved sasuke and made him want to change plans! sasuke went to the hokages because even tho he loves itachi, he still had conflicting ideas after everything he found out about the village so he wanted to hear konoha’s leaders to sort his goals. when he decides he wants to be hokage (on his own terms and way tho) he does it because he wants to achieve the peace his brother sacrificed himself for. in other words, it’s sasuke sacrificing himself for itachi’s will.

anyway this is all in the manga spelled out not even subtext or implied just outright there yet antis for some reason rather close their eyes and keep parroting the same bs that makes them look idiotic. and i pity them because imagine missing such a peak character as sasuke…. honestly i wasn’t planning to answer this because srly it’s BASIC READING but maybe i missed ranting

[joltai-showa]

The sheer insanity of Iwagakure genetics

or a mountain village that seems to be made up of two clans - giants and gnomes - that started to intermingle with each other after the foundation of Iwa. With various degrees of success.

So recently I saw a post crying/laughing at the fact that Deidara (166 cm) is so tiny considering that he is an infamous terrorist belonging to Akatsuki and generally a threat to society that deserves S-rank slapped on his bounty. Now, being a vehement Deidara defender that I am, I wanna show that Deidara, being a child of Iwagakure, has a pretty okayish height, considering how absurd people in Iwa are built.

(me setting out to write this post detailing how Deidara is not three McDonald's sauces tall (he absolutely is))

So, to start off, I think it's important to establish a few things that can be generally observed from the data given on all characters in databooks, because from this we can actually see what Kishimoto (as the source for this data) presumes to be "normal" height ranges for characters in Naruto world

(and no we will not be discussing the weights that he assigns to these people, Kishi has ZERO clue how muscle mass works and it shows, as most of the characters would end up borderline anorexic with the amount of kilos he claims they have. KISAME AT ALMOST TWO METERS TALL, WEILDING A GIANT FUCKING SHARK-SWORD is supposed to be just over 80 kilograms??? are you fucking serious???)

(also obviously all stats and comparisons will be done in metric because that's how they are given in the original + I do not care for systems of measurement that have magical units like pinkies, toes, armpit hairs, football fields and the temperature in Arkansas, New Suckerland on May 7th, 1969)

The inspiration for this post was an old work posted back in 2016 on ficbook where authors compiled the height and weight data on most major characters in Naruto plot and started losing their marbles trying to make sense of it, but what is important for us right now is that they made a sorted table with all that stuff. I am not going to bother reposting it here because all text data in the table is written in Russian, which, I presume, most people reading this post don't speak, so I will simply provide the general observations that can be seen from it. The majority of adult men across all countries and eras seem to go from about 170cm (this is where Danzo of all people is located) to 185 cm (Maito father and son, Kakuzu, Hashirama are all around this point), meaning that if an adult man is above or below this range, then they can be considered pretty tall or pretty small compared to the rest of ninja world population. Then, if we look at adult women, we can see that they are spread out from about 160 cm (in the table that I am looking at we have Uchiha Mikoto at around 163 cm) to about 175 cm (the tallest woman that I can see in this sample is actually Terumi Mei of all people, at just 174 cm). So, women outside of this range can be treated similarly to men outside of their respective range. Finally, we got the teenagers, and the data on them is a bit wonky, as we have a bunch of ~16 year olds for Shippuden and a bunch of ~13 year olds for OG Naruto, but most boys go from somewhere around 165 to 175 cm (with the addition of guys killed in Shippuden it can go lower, to 155ish), while girls are about 160-165 cm tall (and then we have Tayuya, a 14 year old girl who was just 148 cm. jeez Orochimaru fed this girl nothing.)

And you are confused about this data because "wtf why is everyone so small, most adult men are supposed to be around 180-190ish cm tall" - you need to remember that Naruto, first and foremost, is a manga written by a Japanese man who has his own ideas regarding the general height of people. Japan, obviously, is not exactly famous for having tall people (compared to the rest of the globe anyways), and, from what I can see, the data on Naruto characters is actually pretty consistent with what can be observed in Japanese population.

(and yes I did google it and it seems like Kishimoto himself is 170 cm tall. so. yeah.)

But now we go onto the fascinating territory of our analysis - people in Iwagakure! Because god fucking dammit do they need to be studied, something weird is happening in Iwa and no one talks about it.

Kishimoto, while writing the manga, did an Araki meme and forgot about Iwagakure's existence, so there's actually a pretty limited number of characters that we need to go over to send ourselves into the Twilight zone!

Let's start with the OG among the OG, the first plot-relevant Iwagakure shinobi that ever appeared in the manga - the three jonins that team Minato encountered during the Kannabi bridge mission!

(yes, these guys' names and stats were given in the second databook)

(yes, it takes 239 CHAPTERS to actually see some Iwa ninja in the manga. it's rough trying to get some lore on Iwa, it's really fucking rough in here, Kishi does not remember they exist)

And during Kakashi Gaiden it seems like Kishimoto did not go completely bonkers when it comes to Iwa shinobi's heights, so these three are actually kinda sensible in that regard? But let's get into details, shall we.

Let's start with Mahiru that was doing the reconnaissance on the invaders near Kannabi bridge

(Mahiru, a brave Iwa jonin, trying to prevent Fourth Shinobi World War from happening by taking out the most prolific war criminal in the next two decades🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡chapter 240)

He is actually 176 cm talls, kinda closer to the lower bound, but nonetheless not that far away from the avarage.

Continuing with these guys, we are now onto the big guy of the group, Taiseki

(seeing his brave comrade's failure, another valiant Iwa shinobi steps in to prevent the Fourth Shinobi World War by not allowing the most prolific war criminal of the following twenty years to continue his existence🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡chapter 242)

Taiseki was a respectable 189 cm tall, and you'd think he'd be one of the more impressive ones in Iwa, but... no. no. just wait.

Finally, we have Kakko, but I like to call him "Now I am become Death, Destroyer of the Worlds" or just simply "canon event"

(seeing all of his comrades fail in face of the most prolific war criminal in the next twenty years, this bold Iwa ninja decides to use the power of gravity to beat the power of friendship, and is now enjoying his well-earned packaged juice🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡chapter 243)

Kakko here is 180 cm tall, which concludes the first three characters that we ever got to see from Iwagakure, and all of them are pretty reasonable when it compared to the rest of the shinobi world, with Taiseki being just a little bit above the upper boundary for adult men, but pretty insignificantly.

And now we are in Shippuden where shit gets wild, because most of the Iwa characters we are introduced to are shown around this part of Naruto's plot.

I will keep the most interesting line of them all - the Tsuchikage family line, because if there is one thing Iwa is better than Konoha it is in how absurdly nepotistic the governance is - till the end, because it's the funniest thing ever, so let's go over everyone else beforehand.

Our first major (ex)Iwagakure character is actually Deidara (who is the reason for this post existing)

(huh, now that's an unfamiliar face to Deidara's right. really makes one wonder who could it be🤔🤔🤔🤔chapter 357) (also Kishimoto fucked up their height difference, Deidara should be around his chin level lol)

Deidara breaks the pattern of normality set by his predecessors back at Kannabi bridge, and now we have a technically adult man at just 166 cm. So. Well. Yeah, he's pretty small. But he did leave the village at around 11 years old, so maybe spending half of his life on the thug life might have affected his growth prospects?

So while we are on the topic of Deidara, let's also talk about the unit he was working while still part of Iwagakure - Explosion Corps. And there was actually another member of Explosion Corps that we are introduced during the plot - Gari

(chapter 515. yeah sorry couldn't find anything better for this guy)

And Gari here is around 174 cm, soooooooooo, still kinda on the lower side, but better than Akatsuki's token femboy, that's for sure, but maybe the lack of nutrients during teenagehood is indeed the problem?

Now here's where the fun begins - Iwagakure has two jinchuriki, Roshi and Han. Let's take a look at how tall they are, and what we see is...

(I realized that these two got a pretty awesome colored page in Minato's oneshot, so here they are. still kinda amazed that Kishimoto in 2023 remembered that Iwa exists)

Roshi here is 149 cm tall.

While Han is 228 cm tall.

Holy fucking shit what the fuck is that. Just how. What. Where DID THIS come from. Should it be mentioned that it's WILDELY away from the norm? Also how the fuck did you manage to get two people in your village with this much of a height gap??? Han is literally 1.5 Roshi????

Okay, things get weird, but surely that won't become a pattern, right?

Now we get to the last non-Tsuchikage/Tsuchikage-blood related shinobi from Iwa, and it's Akatsuchi

(chapter 454)

And Akatsuchi is a big boy. A very big boy. So big that he is in fact exactly 2 meters tall. Also I am looking at the wiki and in Boruto he grew another 12 cm even if in Shippuden he is already 20 years old??????

(like, bro, what the fuck? why do you need another 12 cm?? where did you even get them??? Deidara is forced to scrape at the bottom of the barrel and tying up a shitty ponytail just so people can see him during Akatsuki meetings, while you get 12 cm for free for no reason???? share them with Deidara??????)

Okay, this is becoming bizarre, but maybe Roshi and Deidara are two outliers who just happened to be small, while the rest of the village is likely to be more on the larger side?

And this is where we arrive to the Tsuchikage line.

Mu is the only one amongst four who is not related to the others by blood, so let's get him out of the way

(chapter 547)

He is 173 cm tall, which, okay, fine, technically on the smaller side, but still acceptable.

Now we are finally on what I call poor Kurotsuchi's bloodline, because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT

(chapter 575)

This is Ishikawa, the first Tsuchikage, the founder of Iwagakure, Onoki's grandfather and Kurotsuchi's great-great grandfather. HE IS JUST 145 CM TALL. 145.

THEN WE GET TO ONOKI HIMSELF

(chapter 454. yes I am using the same spread for Onoki, Kurotsuchi and Akatsuchi)

AND GUESS WHAT. HE IS ONLY 130 CM. ONE FUCKING METER AND THIRTY CENTIMETERS.

AND NOW WE GO TO KITSUCHI, KUROTSUCHI'S FATHER AND (HOPEFULLY) ONOKI'S SON-IN-LAW (BECAUSE OTHERWISE KISHIMOTO SOMEHOW ROBBED US OF THE INSANE IWA LORE ABOUT HOW ONOKI MARRIED AN ACTUAL 3 METER GIANTESS)

(chapter 515)

AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. KITSUCHI IS 217 MOTHERFUCKING CENTIMETERS TALL.

AND AFTER ALL OF THAT WE FINALLY COME TO POOR KUROTSUCHI WHO HAS ALL OF THAT IN HER GENE POOL

(god I fucking love Iwa uniforms. she fucking slayed so hard in it. she ate and left no crumbs.)

And against all fucking odds she made it to 164 cm. Which. Honestly. Good god girl that's the best outcome you could have hoped for.

And that's how our "wtf is wrong with Iwa in terms of height" posts comes to a close. I hope you had fun going ape shit at the random assortment of facts regarding these guys. I sure went insane.

Moral of the story: don't bully Deidara for his height. He's trying his best. There's probably a halfling up in his family tree. He and Kurotsuchi are fighting an uphill battle against the genetics. Likely all kids born during the Third Shinobi World War do. They probably didn't get fed that much as toddlers. Except for Akatsuchi. That guy probably steals bits of vertebrae from his classmates and teammates.

[pumpkin-padparadscha]

What if I just read "The Art of Losing" by @wafflelate a million billion times because it's my favorite.

Anyway the rest of this post is just going to be me going !!!!! so, spoilers ahead

Things I think intensely about:

-how suna is going to react to Gaara deciding to become the kazekage

-how any detractors of his new position are going to be IMMEDIATELY shut down because the "first" thing he does is "contract with a seals mistress to get the dead wastes converted into arable land" (who is going to prove it WASNT a seal? Sunas sealing sucks lol. And technically it did originate from a seal. Gelels seal.)

-how devastated Gai is going to be upon learning literally everything Kakashi went through

-how pissed as fuck people are going to be upon discovering that root seals can apparently block soulmate bonds? I feel like sealing people without their informed consent is about to become very very illegal outside of emergency circumstances.

-how the fuck is cat feeling. Does he believe Kakashi is dead? Does he hope Kakashi is alive?

-nara shikakunand yoshino are about to fucking eviscerate the elder council. Either they were aware of this bullshit or they were criminally negligent. Oh, what's that inoichi and shibi? Some of your family got kidnapped too? Maybe we should bring torture back to t&i. Just this once.

-kakashi is going to be so fucking proud of shikimaru. In his super repressed way. Maybe in a he deserves that legacy more than I ever did if he's feeling self deprecating.

-do you think temari has to sit through a million drafts and revised versions of kankuros shikabane play the more information comes out. Soul mates who were cut off completely from their connection, one believing the other dead, and the other never even educated about soul bonds. Them still recognizing each other enough that Kakashi was kind to her and she freed him instead of killing him. Please kankuro why can't you make the fight scenes longer.

-shikaku seeing shikakos complete shadow transformation and being like "yeah that's insanely dangerous to so much as think about attempting, I don't want to consider how bad things had to be for her to create that. Forbidden jutsu on account of who the fuck knows how she didn't end up falling into the black"

-does Gai feel like he failed Kakashi. Does he swear never to do so again. Imagine him thanking shikako for saving his friend. Imagine Kakashi being shocked Gai still considers him a friend

-hi inoichi this is my soulmate Kakashi, he did not take thinking I was assassinated well at all, do you have any self help books because he hates talking about feelings

-obviously she knows about seals because danzo wanted his own nara level intelligent seal master. Obviously she hid as much of her skill as she could from him because she isn't stupid.

-anyway here's a book a better storage scroll some medical seals and the seal to get rid of roots evil tattoo of shittyness.

-actually now I'm thinking about what if she DOES join suna because Kakashi has trouble feeling safe in konoha or just because being around a shikamaru who never knew her and idolizes Kakashi is kind of awkward.

-if they share dreams do you think she explains her original world to Kakashi after he dreams of cities he's never seen.

-wondering who was the first person to remember the lookalike yoshino nara missing nin that got mentioned in that one report.

-if I think about how nervous Kakashi is going to be the first time he trolls shikako and how he'll feel when she grins or laughs or goes along with it I experience An Emotion™

-"I don't know if you'll like them, but here's other you's favorite books. They make a good social barrier, and you've been looking a little overwhelmed."

-yoshino is going to cry so so so much. Her baby needed her all this time and she never knew it.

-kakashi learning that he was absolutely invited to shikakos funeral and danzo is just a dick who lies

[theheirofthesharingan]

I don’t know if you’ve talked about this here but what do you think was Itachi’s motivation for torturing Sasuke?

I did. I wrote about it here and some relevant words here too. The first post will answer most of your questions, but I'm going to answer this one anyway.

Itachi did not torture Sasuke because he thought he was doing something right. He knew he was very, very wrong, but it was necessary because he'd been threatened by Danzo that if his brother learned the truth, Sasuke would go against the village, and get killed.

Danzo, even when Itachi was alive, sent Sai to kill Sasuke, on the name of protecting the village, whereas he wouldn't do anything about Orochimaru, knowing full well Team 7 was actually chasing Orochimaru as well.

Think from Itachi's POV who was leaving his brother in Konoha.

Konoha was a place Itachi had killed his parents. The same place and the people in power to whom he lost Shisui. Sasuke, a defenceless child, could be in a much worse state. Itachi hoped if he were cruel, Sasuke would have a reason to want to live and get strong. Uchiha are driven by emotions and that's what helps them get stronger. Sasuke with Sharingan or MS would have a better chance at survival than a Sasuke who had no access to those powers.

One more thing is that he wanted Sasuke to kill him. So, Sasuke hating the monster that Itachi had become was important. And after killing him, he wouldn't want Sasuke to live in a regret that he'd killed a brother who loved him. Therefore, he wanted Sasuke to remember him as a monster, so that if anyone ever told him 'Hey, your brother loved you', Sasuke would only remember all the pain Itachi had caused him, not all the love he had in his heart. Because Itachi knew what that would do to Sasuke.

In his whole life Itachi had never known a life that was not traumatizing. That was like a default mode for him. To him, a life like that was still better than being dead. He still cried leaving Sasuke, because causing him pain was the last thing he wanted to do.

And when he returns the second time, Itachi didn't want to come across Sasuke at all. He sees Sasuke from afar and learns he's alive and he leaves before Sasuke can even spot he was there. He then leaves the village to capture Naruto. Itachi's purpose of coming to the village was to check on Sasuke. He does that when he sees him. The next was to show Danzo and the elders that he was still alive and he does that with confronting the Konoha Jonin. And then he follows Jiraiya and Naruto out of the village. If it was only to leave the message that the Akatsuki were after Naruto, he could have done it easily without having to follow Naruto out of the village.

He did it because he didn't want to come across Sasuke. Sasuke isn't a sensory-type ninja, so how would he know where Itachi was, even if he were to learn that he was back in Konoha? He wanted to see Sasuke only when Sasuke was ready to kill him. But things didn't turn out that way.

It's not Sasuke's fault that he was there and Itachi was 10000000% wrong in going to the extreme to torture him, but I despise the narrative that 'Itachi was a cruel and manipulative bastard' when literally every single moment leading up to this moment tells us he was trying to avoid Sasuke, let alone hurt him.

Itachi 'manipulated' Sasuke - the word manipulation works only with your textbook definition of the term because a lot of lies and deceit was involved in how Itachi treated the whole thing, but manipulation always is done with the purpose of using someone for their own good and with a self-serving goal in mind.

Danzo manipulated Itachi to exterminate the Uchiha clan. Orochimaru manipulated Sasuke because he wanted his body. Obito manipulated Sasuke so he could use Sasuke against Konoha. Kabuto tried to manipulate Sasuke to fulfill how own goal of attacking Konoha.

What personal, selfish goal did Itachi have in mind that he wanted to achieve by making Sasuke live? His safety? His life?

The foundation of Itachi's morals was rather fragile because of the way he'd lived, killing people, preferring one kind of lives over the others, and having to make the decisions where lives were always at stake and he had to save them. To him, either it was a strong, powerful, and traumatized Sasuke or a dead Sasuke. And he loved Sasuke too much to kill him. And if he had some better options (in which he was certain that Sasuke would be happier too) he would not have taken the extreme measures. He saw the world was cruel to the Uchiha and once he was gone Sasuke would be all by himself. He only understood Sasuke had a better chance because he had Naruto. But it happened after he had already hurt Sasuke enough.

As outsiders, yes, we understand he choices he made were messed up and thoroughly wrong, but they were made in wake of the life and experiences he'd lived through, and violence and hopelessness he'd experienced firsthand.

[the-real-sasuke-uchiha]

What would be your ideal ending for Sasuke ?

In one word, anon, justice. I really don’t care a lot about everything else. If he marries or has children, if he wins or loses the fight with Naruto, if he goes travelling or whatever. The least he deserved was justice and reparation, and he got nothing of that.

Sasuke deserved an ending where his rage was validated. Where he received a formal apology. Where the genocide of the Uchiha was not swept under the rug (if the wishes of Itachi were to be respected, at least acknowledge the oppression and exclusion that they suffered from Konoha and clear their name from the suspicions raised after the Kyubi attack). Sasuke should have not been forced to show remorse in the end. Remorse for what, anyway? He had nothing to feel sorry for, he did nothing wrong. He didn’t even punish half the people that deserved to die at his hands. What does he need to atone for, when deranged villains went on without consequences? Sasuke was a victim of genocide. The least the perpetrators could do was apologise and be thankful he didn’t materialise any of his threats to burn Konoha to ashes.

Sasuke deserved to see the two counsellors that remained alive fired, prosecuted and punished. He deserved to be honoured and awarded for saving the world and for his crucial role in ending the war, and all he got was ostracism and a condescending scolding from his former teacher.

Sasuke deserved compensation. He deserved to see his clan honoured and remembered. He deserved to get returned any property, document, or information Konoha had gotten from the Uchiha after the massacre or during their unlawful surveillance, including any body parts or any other thing stolen for any of Danzo’s grotesque endeavours. He deserved to see the Root disbanded, any of its willing members investigated and punished, and Danzo declared a traitor, a child abductor, a genocidal trash, a corrupt and a conspirator.

Sasuke deserved to see his friend, his so-called “like a brother” standing by his promises and doing something to change the world for the better. Sasuke did not deserve to be alone and remorseful working for a place that never officially repudiated the darkness and the ways of the past. Sasuke did not deserve to see the enabler of the extermination of his family glorified in the form of a painting in the Hokage’s office. And the same for the fascist that spread racist pseudoscience about his family to justify their segregation and oppression. He did not deserve to see those that promoted the genocide of his clan working as counsellor for his so-called friend, who still hears them in his office.

And, of course, Sasuke deserved Taka, too. He deserved to be with them, to honour the promise he made to Jugo. Their unconditional loyalty and friendship. He deserved comfort in the friends that he chose and that were ready to fight the world for him.

And, I think, anon, Sasuke deserved to pursue his revolutionary ideas to build a new world without the darkness of the Shinobi system. Sasuke did not deserve to have all his personality, his character and his soul killed for the sake of the main character’s victory. We know the main character had to win, still, there was so much potential in Sasuke. We deserved to at least see them improving the world together. Making efforts so the future generations never had to experience what they went through.

Anyway, sorry for the long rant, I don’t think I surprised you with any amazing idea for an ending, as everything I mentioned has been discussed before by many others. I apologise also because it took me ages to answer.  I hope you are having a wonderful time, anon, please take care.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Hi how many months do you think Sasuke was in jail for 2 or 3 months or more before Kakashi become the Hokage and pardoned him

Hi! I am actually a Sasuke jail-denier LMAO.

I refuse to believe that Team 7 would let him be jailed after the war, considering he was directly responsible for ending the Infinite Tsukuyomi and defeating Kaguya, and the only real significant politically-impactful death he caused was Danzo's (and Itachi's), which was probably a favour to Konoha as it is.

Orochimaru is walking free, and he killed TWO actual long-standing Kage, instead of an acting Kage, who no one was in favour of appointing except for a few council members, and who repeatedly acted outside the interests of his village. Kabuto is responsible for the deaths of 40,000 people during the war, and he works at an orphanage?! I cannot believe that Tsunade would jail Sasuke for what he did, and I cannot believe that Kakashi, Naruto or Sakura would let anyone do so.

I know they showed Sasuke in jail for a minute or two in the anime, but it's not in the manga, and I don't remember it being referenced elsewhere, so I choose to see it as the most unfortunate choice of filler rather than a part of any timeline.

So, my short answer is: 0 DAYS!! I think at most he was on probation, by which I mean a collective of village voices were like, "Stay in Konoha pretty please?" And Sasuke was like, "That's fine, all of my ribs are broken and I've got no arm, I need some time off anyway." And they were like, "Great, Naruto is your probation officer (roommate)." And Naruto went, "YAY!"

[erimeows]

Against His Better Judgment

Obito Uchiha has been ‘dead’ for years now- at least according to his last surviving teammate and the poorly done carving of his name on the memorial stone that sits in the middle of the village. Tonight, however, he’s very much alive, stalking aforementioned teammate to bide the time. Why he’s been doing it, he isn’t quite sure.

Most days, Obito’s feelings for Kakashi alternate between hatred and indifference. On nights like this, however, he wavers. He remembers the way Kakashi protected him when they were young. He remembers soft silvery hair grasped between his fingertips when they’d get into particularly nasty fights; and hard gazes from beautiful charcoal eyes when Obito would show up late every day. 

Worst of all, he remembers those things fondly… And he misses them enough to forget that it was Kakashi’s arrogance that landed him in the clutches of Madara Uchiha. He forgets that it was Kakashi’s chidori that Rin impaled herself on. He forgets that, at many points during their years together, he hated Kakashi with a passion that made fire burn in his throat when the man so much as looked at him.

Back then, though, they were mere children. Now, they’re adults. Kakashi is in Anbu, consumed by the darkness of Obito’s death and everything that has followed. 

Obito lets out a small sigh and adjusts the orange mask on his face. Right now, they’re a mere mile or two from where Minato and Kushina died. A few miles away from where they used to train together. 

To reach his goal of unleashing the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Obito has to let go of his bonds. But until his plan comes closer to fruition, he supposes he can hold onto them, if only for a little longer. The only one he has left is Kakashi, anyway.

Minato and Kushina are dead because he killed them. Rin is dead because Kakashi killed her. And, his grandma and the many elderly in the village that he bonded with during his youth have been stolen away by time.

So, he lingers on the outskirts of Konoha often, clinging onto the one bond he has left. Every once in a blue moon, he hears whispers of the Uchiha trying to stage a coup; whispers of rebellion that he knows Danzo will hush before they can turn into full on screams. How Danzo will do it, Obito isn’t sure yet, but he lies in wait for the details. He doesn’t care if any of them die. They were never kind to him after his own parents died, anyway. 

In the meantime, he watches Kakashi. The man trains near the border of the village every single night, close to where he used to train every day with Team Minato when they were still alive. Now, he and Obito are the only ones left. To Kakashi, he’s the only one left.

Obito crosses his arms over his chest and peers at Kakashi with interest as he leans back against the trunk of the tree he’s sitting in. The branch he stays on is high up, and the tree is lush with leaves, so he has good coverage. It seems as if Kakashi hasn’t noticed him- at least not yet. He’s been doing this on and off for a week now and Kakashi is none the wiser. Or, Obito thinks that’s the case. Then again, Kakashi is always full of surprises.

Kakashi, the poor fool, keeps lifting the heaviest rocks and small boulders he can find and throwing them as hard as he can across the forest. He crushes patches of healthy grass and wildflowers in his wake.

“Come on out,” Kakashi says after chucking a boulder almost as big as the one that crushed Obito all those years ago, apparently aware of Obito’s presence. Obito knows he should leave, but he doesn’t. He waits to see if he can convince Kakashi that he’s simply imagining someone watching him by lowering his chakra and remaining quiet. Kakashi, however, doesn’t drop it. In fact, he’s looking right towards where Obito is hiding as he raises his forehead protector off of his Sharingan- off of Obito’s Sharingan. “Why have you been following me?”

“So you noticed me, hm?” Obito asks, hopping out of the tree and smoothly landing on the ground.

Thankfully, he looks much different. He’s masked, his hair is longer, he’s taller, and he’s learned to impersonate Madara’s voice perfectly. If he plays his cards right, even someone as astute as Kakashi shouldn’t be able to identify him, especially while under the impression that he’s dead. 

“Answer me,” Kakashi demands. He weaves some hand signs and forms a ball of lightning in his right hand. “It’s been weeks now.”

“You’re more observant than I thought, Kakashi Hatake,” Obito smiles beneath his mask and activates his own Sharingan. Behind his mask, in the darkness of the cloudy summer night, Kakashi doesn’t seem to see it. “Trust me. I’m simply here from Konoha’s security division to work on the barrier system. I’m not following you.”

Kakashi softens, but not fully. The chidori remains in his hand, chirping with energy, waiting to be unleashed on some poor soul. 

“Then what’s your name?”

“I can’t tell you that. This mission is classified.”

“Hm… You seem to know who I am, but if you won’t reveal your name, I’m not sure I can trust you,” Kakashi says, though he diffuses his chidori and pushes his hands into his pockets. It’s a gesture that he never would’ve done when he was younger, citing bad posture as ‘improper’ and stiffly keeping his hands at his sides. Oh, how he’s changed since they were little. “How can I confirm that you’re someone from this village who can be trusted?”

“I know how to unlock the village barriers. No outsiders are provided with that kind of information.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Kakashi snaps. Obito sees him grip something within his pocket- probably a kunai or a shuriken. “A spy could’ve leaked those to you easily.”

“Wow. Your faith in your comrades must be poor if you think there’s a spy among the lot of you,” Obito laughs, but Kakashi isn’t necessarily wrong. All of the ninja villages are ridden with spies right now. He decides to use his knowledge about Kakashi to his advantage. “Fine, then. You were in Anbu with me. I worked with you before moving to the security division. What do you want to hear about yourself?”

“...What’s my go-to food order after a mission?”

“You don’t have one go-to order. If it’s a difficult mission, you get eggplant-mixed miso soup since it’s light. If it’s easier and you return to the village hungry, you get saury with rice instead.”

“It’s odd that I worked with you at some point and don’t recognize your voice, but very well. No one else could possibly know that information about me aside from another comrade. I’ll leave you be.”

With that, Kakashi turns to leave. Obito lets out a sigh of relief, though he can’t help but wonder if his encounter with Kakashi is some sort of sign… Whether it’s a sign to leave Kakashi alone or a sign to play with fire, he isn’t sure.

~

Against his better judgment, Obito returns to the outskirts of the village the next night to watch Kakashi train in the field of wildflowers. This time, Kakashi arrives before him, so he doesn’t have much time to hide. He addresses the man with his arms crossed.

“Kakashi Hatake. I thought you’d steer clear from here after last night.”

“No. If you’re doing this type of work alone, I figured extra protection wouldn’t hurt… In case someone tries to stop you. Even if you’re not in any danger, having a teammate doesn’t hurt.”

“How odd of you… To say something like that, Kakashi,” Obito laughs. He thinks back to when his old teammate would complain about being on a team and insisting that he’d be better off alone on dangerous missions. “Don’t they call you the friend-killer these days?”

“Sometimes, but those who call me ‘friend-killer’ weren’t there that day,” Kakashi shrugs. It’s as if he’s so used to it that the insult doesn’t bother him anymore. Kakashi glances towards Obito, who stands across from him. His eyes are dark but curious. “Do you think I’m a friend-killer?”

“Do you truly care what I think?”

“I don’t know who you are, so I suppose I shouldn’t, but if you really are my comrade… I do,” Kakashi answers before sitting down on a nearby log and pulling the backpack off of his shoulders. He reaches into it for a lunch box, and then another. He looks back up at Obito and smiles underneath his mask. “Have you eaten?”

“No,” Obito responds, baffled. The Kakashi he knew back then would never bring food for anyone else- not even Rin, Minato, or Kushina- who all made him lunches regularly. “Don’t tell me you’ve brought food for me.”

“I have. Would you like to come eat with me?”

“Did you forget the fact that I’m working?” Obito hisses, though it isn’t really true.

“No, but a break never hurts.”

“Very well,” Obito sits next to Kakashi on the log. It’s far closer than he’s comfortable with, but he can sense that Kakashi is relaxed and that neither of them are in danger. Kakashi hands one of the lunch boxes to him. Much to his surprise, he opens the lunchbox to see three sticks of dango. “I was under the impression that you hated sweets.”

“I do- or, I did- but these were the favorite of a close friend. He would eat these nonstop no matter how much I’d lecture him about it,” Kakashi says, staring down at the sticks within his own lunchbox. “He’s gone now, so I eat them when I find myself wishing he were still here… To remind me of what it was like to have him around. Sometimes, when I eat dango, I’m able to close my eyes and imagine that he’s sitting next to me enjoying them as well.”

“I see,” Obito frowns. While he would never admit it, regret flutters in his stomach, if only for a moment. He briefly considers ripping the mask off of his face and telling Kakashi the truth. Breaking down in his lap and crying his eyes out about everything he’s gone through since Kannabi Bridge. It’s just too late, though. He’s killed so many people, done so many terrible things, all in the name of this plan of his. Obito takes a deep breath and reminds himself why he’s doing all of this; to give people like himself and Kakashi a better world where none of those terrible things can happen. He glances over at Kakashi, watching for changes in the other man’s facial expression as he asks- “Do you miss him?”

“Do I miss him?” Kakashi asks in an incredulous tone- as if the answer is obvious. After years of Kakashi scolding him, beating him down, and tearing apart every single thing he ever believed in, it’s hard for him to comprehend the idea of Kakashi… Missing him. “Of course I do. I can’t even begin to describe how much I miss him. I was in love with him for the longest time, but I never had the guts to tell him… He was in love with this girl on our squad, so I didn’t think he’d return my feelings. I was mean to him because I had my own issues… I was afraid that if he knew I had fallen for him, he’d make fun of me and hold it over my head. Now, he’s dead, and it’s my fault. I guess I am a friend-killer after all… If I had just been better to him back then, everything would’ve worked out. Maybe I would’ve even been able to tell him the truth.”

Obito’s eye widens beneath his mask. 

Kakashi…

Was in love with him?

“Maybe… It’s better that you didn’t get to tell him in the end,” Obito frowns. They fall into a brief silence, both turning to face away from each other and pulling their masks down to eat the dango. Desperate to leave so he can reflect on the bombshell Kakashi has just dropped on him, Obito pushes the lunch box back into the man’s bag and stands up. “I should report back… To the security division.”

When he turns to leave, Kakashi reaches out and grabs Obito’s gloved hand. 

Obito looks over his shoulder to see Kakashi looking up at him. 

“Will you be here again tomorrow night?” Kakashi questions.

Obito pauses.

“Will you be here?”

“If you are. I don’t know why, but I feel… Connected to you. Maybe I do remember working with you, at some point. Even if you can’t reveal your identity to me because of your mission, I’d like to keep meeting you here until you’ve finished it.”

Obito shakes his head, yanks his hand away from Kakashi’s, and leaves.

~

The next night, Obito inevitably returns. This time, Kakashi isn’t training. Instead, he lies on the field of wildflowers with his mask hanging loosely around his neck and a cigarette between his lips. The wind gently blows by, 

Kakashi pulls his cigarette out from between his lips and speaks, his eyes shut and lashes fluttering against his cheeks.  

“You’re back.”

Obito sits next to Kakashi on the grass. 

“Are you shocked?”

Kakashi shrugs and, with his eyes still closed, holds his cigarette out. Obito takes it and stares down at Kakashi, baffled. The man is still holding his eyes closed and turning his head the other way to show that he won’t look… So, Obito pulls his mask to the side just enough to take a drag off of the cigarette. The smoke in his lungs reeks of tobacco and bittersweet regret.

“You didn’t answer me last night when I asked if you’d be here.”

Obito blows rings of smoke into the air, pulls his mask back over his face, places the cigarette back between Kakashi’s lips, and answers.

“I didn’t have to.”

The leaves of the trees in the forest rustle with the rhythm of the breeze as Obito stares at Kakashi… And stares, and stares, and stares. Kakashi opens his eyes and stares back. Obito meets his gaze, even behind the mask, sure to keep his Sharingan deactivated so his eye remains pitch black. It feels as if Kakashi is staring straight through him. Obito wishes that he could stare straight through Kakashi, too, because after last night, his perception of the other man has been flipped upside down.

“You must be part of Root. I’ve been mulling over everyone I’ve ever worked with and I’m certain I haven’t actually worked with you directly, so you must be a Root member,” Kakashi explains, though it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than he’s trying to inform Obito that he knows. Kakashi has always been unsure of himself- Obito can tell that much. “Are you telling Danzo about me? …About this- I mean, about what we’ve been doing the last couple nights?”

“Don’t worry,” Obito says with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I’m aware of the fact that Danzo has it out for you, but you’re not my mission, Kakashi.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Don’t make it out as if I’m doing you any sort of favor.”

“But you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You’ve been trying to act cold these last few days, but I can tell you’re not like that,” Kakashi murmurs, his tone low as he burns his cigarette out on the front of his Anbu armor. “Your presence feels very warm, like an old friend.”

“What exactly do you mean by that?”

“There’s no double meaning. The words are as clear as day,” Kakashi shrugs and crosses one leg over the other. “I feel connected to you. Being around you gives me a sense of warmth and familiarity that I really don’t get to feel anymore.”

“Then your perception of me is wrong.”

“Or maybe the way you perceive yourself is wrong,” Kakashi corrects, then rolls onto his side to face Obito. “I want to see your face.”

“Why?”

“I just…” Kakashi trails off, then reaches out to try to touch Obito’s mask. Obito jerks back. “Imagined you’d be pretty.”

“I’m far from pretty,” Obito argues.

Unlike Kakashi, who’s sitting here unmasked with his beautiful sharp eyes, perfectly chiseled jawline, soft-looking lips, and gorgeous silver hair, Obito is not, in fact, pretty. His long, dark hair is a mess, over half of his body is scarred from the battle on Kannabi bridge, and even if he weren’t half-mangled, he never thought he was attractive to begin with. There was a reason Rin always preferred Kakashi back then.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Do you think you’re pretty, Kakashi?” Obito demands to get the attention of of himself, knowing that Kakashi has never had the best self-esteem.

“I’m not hideous,” Kakashi hums. “I’d say I’m a very average looking man.”

Obito rolls his eyes.

“Then why do you wear a mask to cover your face so often?”

“Well, I’m not self-conscious. The mask is only there for a practical reason. I inherited the strong sense of smell from the Inuzuka clan thanks to my mother, but not the ability to tolerate it without getting overwhelmed, so my father put me in a mask when I was little to keep me from having public meltdowns. I’d get seriously overstimulated. I don’t mind showing people my face if they just ask.”

“...You undersold your looks. You really have gotten handsome in the last few years, Kakashi.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, definitely,” Obito answers. He saw Kakashi’s face a handful of times when they were children- once by accident, a couple times when Rin had to heal a facial injury, and another time when Kakashi was sick. “I hope you don’t think that I’m going to remove my mask now that you’ve shown me your face...”

“Of course not. You said your identity has to be confidential for your mission, right? I knew seeing your face would be a long shot, but I feel like we’ve made some progress tonight,” Obito becomes uncomfortable at those words. If he isn’t careful, Kakashi’s going to make him… No, he doesn’t even want to think about it. Heart fluttering against his chest, Obito stands up and dusts the grass off of his outfit. “Are you leaving now?”

Obito doesn’t answer directly. Instead, he asks-

“See you tomorrow night?”

Kakashi grins.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

~

The next night, Obito shows up earlier than he’d like to admit… Before the sun sets, in fact. The amount of risks he’s taking for this undeniable urge to see Kakashi is ridiculous if the two dead Anbu near the village barriers are anything to go by.

He waits hours in the same field on the outskirts of the village, sitting in the grass and dwelling on everything that’s happened over the last few days. It takes so long that he starts to think Kakashi might not show up. Right at midnight, however, Kakashi comes running to the field with sweat dripping down his face and a lunch box in his hands. 

“Sorry I’m late- I had a mission that kept me,” Kakashi apologizes and sits down next to Obito on the grass- far too close for comfort, honestly. Their shoulders brush against one another as Kakashi moves to open the lunchbox and pulls out a stick of dango. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Dango again?” Obito quirks an eyebrow, though he knows Kakashi can’t see it behind his mask. 

“You seemed like you liked it with how fast you scarfed it down last time, so I brought it again, but I can eat it by myself if you’d like.”

“No, no, I don’t mind… I’ll have some.”

Obito reaches into the box and pulls out a stick for himself. Kakashi does the same. They turn away from each other and pull their masks down to eat before fixing their masks and turning back to face each other. 

“Did you like it? I learned how to make it pretty recently.”

Obito nods. 

“Yes, it’s better than the kind you can get from the dango shop next to Ichiraku.”

“Good. I’m glad you don’t hate it,” Kakashi reaches over and pats Obito’s back. Obito flinches at the touch, but doesn’t do anything to make Kakashi stop. “You have to eat well if you’re going to be out on a security mission like this all night every night.”

“That’s true. Thank you for feeding me, but why do you keep doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Coming here… Meeting with me, talking to me, treating me with such kindness, even though I can tell you’re unsure if you can fully trust me or not.”

Kakashi pauses, looking wistful as he closes his lunchbox and puts it in his bag. 

“Doesn’t everyone deserve kindness?”

“No,” Obito answers, baffled by the person Kakashi has become. “I would argue that most people don’t- not in this cruel, vile shinobi world.”

“It’s sad that you think that way. Even a lot of the worst people have goodness in them,” Kakashi argues. “And, you know, forgiveness is important. If you don’t forgive, putting things behind you so you can move on is still important. You never know what someone is going through now, or what someone has been through previously. Bad experiences don’t excuse bad behavior, but if you can treat someone who’s lashing out because they’re struggling with some grace, you’re bound to make the world that much better.”

Obito rolls his eyes at Kakashi. 

“You’re far too forgiving.”

Kakashi, as always, seems unbothered.

“You’re allowed to feel that way.”

“Do you think I’m wrong?” Obito questions.

“No, not at all. We’re both right to feel the way we feel. Us shinobi don’t have the rights to much these days- the least we can have are the rights to our feelings. It’s imperative for us to have a variety of people with differing perspectives or the big problems with the shinobi world will never get solved.”

“And you think that people such as myself can solve those problems?”

“Sure you can… Especially if you’re working together with others to do it, like me.”

Kakashi reaches for Obito’s face. Obito catches his wrist in one hand and shoots a glare in his direction- not that Kakashi can see it behind Obito’s mask, anyway, but Kakashi seems to feel the heat of it just fine.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Kakashi jerks his hand away as if he’s scorched it on hot metal and averts his gaze, embarrassed. “I’m sorry for touching you without asking first.”

“Stop apologizing,” Obito grabs Kakashi’s chin with one gloved hand. “Did you… Want to touch me?”

“I’d like to. I feel like we both need it.”

“Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know yet,” Kakashi honestly answers after a moment’s hesitation. “Can you prove to me that I can?”

“Do something for me and I think I’ll be able to.”

Kakashi tightly swallows.

“Anything you want.”

“Pull your mask down, then pull your forehead protector over both eyes to cover them.”

“I see,” Kakashi sighs, seeming disappointed, but he does as Obito says. He drags his tilted forehead protector over both of his eyes and ties it in place so he can’t see, then pulls his mask down to expose the lower half of his face. “You’re going to take your mask off, but you don’t want to reveal your face to me.”

Obito confirms Kakashi’s suspicions with a low hum and places a gentle hand on Kakashi’s face. Kakashi leans into the touch, his cheeks burning bright red underneath the moonlight. Obito uses his other hand to push his mask to the side. Against his better judgment, he leans in and presses a kiss to Kakashi’s lips. They’re sweet like sugar but bitter like coffee as Kakashi tilts his head and leans in to kiss him back. Obito isn’t sure why he’s doing this. Does he love Kakashi back? The way his heart is slamming against his chest right now, the way his lips are moving against Kakashi’s, the way he sighs when Kakashi’s fingers land in his hair and pull at the long black locks- they all say yes, he does.

But then, why do this at all? When the Infinite Tsukuyomi comes to fruition, he can do this whenever he wants without the risk of his identity being revealed. Better yet, he can do it as himself.

‘Because this is real,’ he thinks before quickly shoving the thought to the back of his mind and pulling back. He yanks his mask over his face and stares at Kakashi with intense… Something. Longing? Regret? Relief? He can’t tell. 

 “I should go before this gets too intense,” Obito chokes out the words, still tasting Kakashi on his lips as he talks. 

Kakashi fumbles to pull his forehead protector back over his forehead and his mask over his face. Still, Obito can tell that the poor guy is red from the tips of his ears down. 

“Will you be back tomorrow night?” Kakashi asks, twiddling his thumbs like a teenager.

“I’m not sure yet,” Obito admits. He shouldn’t come back… Not again, lest they take this too far, but he wants to continue this so desperately. “Don’t wait up on me.”

“Okay,” Kakashi smiles, waving. “See you later.”

“Yeah,” Obito waves in return. “See you later, Kakashi.”

[belit0]

Hey, love. S'up?

Can you do a reaction of the Uchihas + Young Adults!Kagami and Danzo reacting to Indra becoming obsess with cats? Please and thank you. Bonus: One of the Uchihas is allergic to cats (you pick).

Hi sweetie! I don't write Danzo or Kagami, I only work with the Uchihas listed in my master list, and both Senju brothers.

The beginning of a long tradition❤️‍🩹

I always like to think Indra is everyone's grandfather, then Madara and Izuna are the uncles of the rest, but in this case, the two of them ended up being cousins with the kids lol🤠

Madara

- Expected from grandpa. Indra has reached an age where it is natural to meet certain standards of old age, and his obsession with cats is natural in Madara's eyes. He knows it is the beginning of a long tradition.

Izuna

- Compulsive fosterer. What Izuna loves about going to his grandfather's house is meeting the huge collection of cats he has, feeding them and playing with them. He has his favorites, and is the first to learn how to talk to them.

Obito

- Boundary transgressor. Grandpa Indra forbids everyone to get close to a select group of kittens that comprise his favorite cats, but Obito always finds a way to pet them anyway, even if they are off-limits.

Shisui

- The allergic one. He can't even enter Grandpa's house without getting red, watery eyes, an itchy nose and not being able to breathe. He only sees Indra at family gatherings at Madara's house.

Itachi

- Izuna's apprentice. His older cousin teaches him how to communicate with and understand them, helping him know what they need and ask for. Itachi develops a close relationship with Indra's cats, inheriting many of them after he passes away.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Incredibly self indulgent 'early konoha kids get zapped into canon right after Hiruzen is killed' au..... save me incredibly self indulgent 'early konoha kids get zapped into canon right after Hiruzen is killed' au ,,,,

This is so stupid but I'm embracing the cringe.

POV a Nara an Orochi and 2 Hatake twins fuck around and find out with one of Tobirama's seals (that one of the Hatake's definitely stole) when they really really shouldn't and get zapped to Konoha

Immediate glaring problem: the Orochi clan is incredibly recognizable. They all look very similar. And Orochimaru is the only one left in modern era and also just killed the Hokage in front of a fuck ton of people, like, last week. And is also a known body hopper so any minor differences in appearance can be very easily waved away.

They don't even realize smthn went wrong at first bc they were fucking around way on the outskirts of town to avoid being caught playing with things they shouldn't, and when they return to town they take the back ways around so they don't even notice the new buildings n stuff

They all just kinda shrug and call it a day after the seal explodes on them (and poke at the Hatake who's genius idea it was to play with the seal, who is also the only one of them currently throwing up in the grass due to the seal backlash) and split off to go home

"Did it hurt?" Haru cheerfully prodded his brothers cheek with his finger. "Do you feel sick?" He gave him another poke. "Do you feel stupid?" At this poke, Hiro let out a low grumble. "You look pretty stupid."

Only, in going home, the Hatake's return to a ruined, falling appart clan compound that suitably freaks them out

The Nara to a house that looks somewhat the same (with some changes to the garden) but has a new family in it who yells at her in confusion when she apparently breaks in and chases her away

And the Orochi, the only one of them to go run errands before heading home, is immediatley mistaken for Orochimaru and tackled by like 10 ANBU agents at once while trying to buy groceries (the weeping shopkeep is very relieved. The Orochi meanwhile, is very confused)

Prison break time !! The Nara and Hatake twins very messily break out their friend, who then refuses to leave without retrieving their gourd, which was taken to evidence (and is an important clan artifect and weapon) so the escape gets even messier

They may have tried to clear up any misunderstandings but that was before their Orochi buddy got put in prison under threat and schedule of torture, so they decide to fuck off from the village in hopes of creating some distance

(There's a lot of conflict on Konoha's side, behind the curtains and higher up, from some who had interacted w Orochinatsu, who do not believe them to be Orochimaru. And those who interacted w them and do. And Danzo, who wants them dead and or in his hands either way, who is also kind of in charge rn bc Sarutobi's fucking dead)

So they retreat real hard and real fast and knock right into Sasuke actually, who's in the middle of trying to defect to sound.

Oh also it's to note that the warring states guys are all 17-18, so they (read:the Hatake twins) see Sasuke and are like "oh the ittle baby wishes to commit treason? That's so cut— whO taught him that ????? (Chidori) WHY CANT I DO THAT I WANT TO DO THAT ???????"

Anyways they somehow join Sasuke on his little trip to sound— They hear Orochimaru and think of the Orochimaru of their time (the name is a title passed down through Orochi clan heads) and they also, now somewhat aware of the time travel, think of the (literal this time) baby Oro they occasionally babysit together, and who is Orochinatsu's baby cousin (who is, yes, the Orochimaru of this time)

They get to Sound and Orochimaru is like "???? Ayo ????" for MULTIPLE reasons, this entire thing fascinates him

Omg Sasuke u brought him a gift ?? Ur such a good guest!

Unfortunately for them tho, Orochinatsu is also like. Literally the most perfect body he could ask for, actually. They look really similar, the kid is young and strong and healthy, plus also very talented (annoyingly to the others, one of the most skilled among their generation in early konoha) they already have a snake contract, and best of all they're literally directly biologically related to Orochimaru, which could seriously help the body snatching procedure, etc.

Unsure where it goes from there, they might tuck Sasuke under their arm and book it, maybe even promise to help w his Itachi problem, idk I'm just having fun spinning around in circles in a chair daydreaming ab silly stupid oc time travel aus

Staring at a wall telling myself to embrace the cringe ,,, I earned it,, tis my birthright to make unasked for naruto oc content ,,

[teawinx]

Asking cause I’m curious, but if there was a male character in Naruto you think could have been improved, who would it be and why?

Uuhh all of them lol

Jk jk lol

I don't think I personally could really properly improve any of these characters, there's just so much that goes into it. That being said, there are two that I think were done dirtiest

And that's Naruto and Sasuke. And I don't necessarily mean "improve" them, I'm thinking more just treating them with a little more empathy.

Sasuke is the easier one to explain. We love to meme on Sasuke and I agree it's hilarious, but in canon I don't think Sasuke is really given the chance to be a broken kid and just being allowed to be sad about it. Can't be sadness, it has to become anger. And that's mainly because Sasuke is stuck in a boys boy manga where combat = character development, so taking time to explore his complex feelings isn't the point or focus.

Sasuke has been done the worst by Danzo and the gov of Konoha, and I personally don't think he owes the village anything. Him becoming the Shadow Hokage just doesn't make sense to me. Let this guy rest. Give him a nice martini and a sun hat. Take a week off, Sasuke.

He's not then allowed to have proper closure. He can't go home to his wife and daughter and enjoy stability and support. He has to stay away so he doesn't loose his aloof vengeng!1 motif.

Sasuke's story, the severely broken and traumatized child forced to grow up too quick but is mentally stuck in the past, has since been done a lot better with Arcane's Jinx. But Jinx was written to be a character, not a vessel for millions of new abilities for boys to scream over.

As for Naruto This is gonna be an unpopular opinion but hear me out

I don't think he needed to become Hokage.

This has nothing to do with his abilities or his lineage or anything. Man's qualified. His motivation to become Hokage is so people finally notice him, to finally respect him and so he can have friends. But he didn't need to become Hokage to accomplish all that.

So, do I think he needed to become Hokage to be happy? Not really. To me it's less of a triumph and more an inevitability. I think Konoha's whole ass system is fucked and needs a major overhaul, which is what Naruto could have done just sayin

But this also ties into Naruto only really seeing himself as loveable if he's useful. If he just saves the village enough times, they'll finally like him and treat him well. I think Naruto deserves better than that. Konoha has a very "You're worthless if you can't be of service" mentality which isn't the cutest, besties. I wish someone (preferably Hinata) helped Naruto realize that he's worthy of love just for being alive, that he's worthy of being loved and taken care of too. That if Konoha turns on him for being imperfect, that's on Konoha. He's just one person.

It's a very Pixar way of viewing his story, I'm aware of that. Him realizing he doesn't need to become Hokage. But then what would he be? I think he should have taken after his first father figure, and arguably his most humble. I think he should have become an academy teacher like Iruka. He has first hand experience being the underdog, the one struggling, and could be there to encourage and support young ninja like Iruka supported him. Plus it gives him more time to be with his wife and kids, I want him to be the lamest and cringiest dad known to man. I need it.

But I know these are unpopular opinions for a reason. This isn't the series for this kind of writing lol

Anyway, I hope this was useful to you!

[reilleclan-blog]

The fact Sasuke Uchiha was equivalent to a school ooter and ALOT of ppl saying he was right is very hilarious. (Also I'm a fan of Sasuke I just hated the shippuden part of him cause he was sounding so fucking dumb when he's fighting Naruto)

Sasuke was so scared of love that he wanted to kill his "bff" over it cause Naruto never stopped loving him. "Never gave up on him" or "cut him off" the most love Sasuke ever felt was with Naruto that's why he was constantly reminded of his family and Itachi when he was with Naruto. Sasuke had to hate Itachi so he could be able to redeem his family so he was alone but Naruto would remind him of the good and the bad of what happened with his family . That's why he was so adamant on killing Naruto. He wanted to be fully alone cause// Sasuke was disguising his fear of love with the idea that he wanted to avenge Itachi and shit but to be fair Sasuke was lied to his whole life so I still understand why he went crazy asf and wanted to kill danzo but afterward he had to direct his anger towards something else so it was towards the leaf village. (He eliminated his brother's biggest enemy but he still chose to fight the leaf// that turned into him wanting to become "hokage")

Also to pivot back to the topic of Sasuke wanting to become the "most hated" or "take on all the hate" he was essentially trying to make himself into the next Madara and we see how that was turning out cause he was literally living it. Becoming the most hated is pointless when u are already surrounded by ppl that are trying to love u, but Sasuke again was terrified of it it's as if he thought he couldn't deserve that love as well. Like in the animation he is pained his face he makes trying to "not believe" Naruto and believe he could be back in the good graces of the leaf or feel loved like Naruto keeps telling him.

And then when they think they are both dead after their big fight , Sasuke looks and acts relieved that him and Naruto are together but dead. Naruto was the one freaking out about being dead while Sasuke isn't even trying to figure it out he's just chillin with Naruto lol. In a way, when he thought they were both dead Sasuke seemed like he was missing Naruto once he vanished (i guess when Naruto woke up)

Also Sasuke always freaks the fuck out everytime Naruto basically says "I WONT STOP LOVING U" and Sasuke is just like "PLEASE STOP LOVING ME LET ME BE ALONE" that's basically what it was. Platonic or romantic love I like the ideas of both. I have no preference towards shipping. Ship, laugh love.

Another thing I'm gonna say is so many ppl hate Sakura either they are misogynistic or they think she's a terrible character. 1) most of the shit ppl hated Sakura for was literally the SAME SHIT Naruto and or Sasuke had done in the show but no one cared when them two did said thing.

2) Sakura was never ever planning to kill Sasuke she would never have it in her to ever do that to him. Literally the first time Sasuke is leaving the leaf village Sakura is trying to say anything to make him stay and since she knows he's not gonna stay she just tells him "let me come with u" and it's like Sakura was smitten with love(cough cough* like Naruto). And funny enough ppl love to bring up how Sasuke found her annoying but he constantly said the same shit about Naruto ... why b/c they BOTH LOVED SASUKE. They both loved Sasuke just in very different ways and ppl don't talk about it at all.

ppl talk about how Sakura and Naruto both wanted Sasuke back but never notice how they show their love so differently. Sakura could never fight Sasuke, Naruto was ready to fight Sasuke no matter the cause NARUTO STATES THAT HE WOULD BREAK EVERY BONE IN SASUKES BODY IF IT MEANT HE WOULD DRAG HIM BACK TO THE LEAF VILLAGE . Sakura would've just either let him kill her or joined in b/c she just loved him that much.

Anyways um yeah that's it I guess if u get mad over this imma just block u idc. I just wanna post about my hyperfixation don't dtm please also I'm surprised ppl don't talk about Sasuke being in confinement. Lol also Sasuke is neurodivergent 😴

[ravenaveira]

Why are you "anti Karin" in general?, and so "pro" a manipulative, repulsive relationship like s/s?

Pfffft the fact that you would say that with a straight face in defense of KARIN of all people.

"Manipulative, repulsive relationship" you mean like this?

Wanting Jugo and Suigetsu to kill eachother so she can have Sasuke to herself, then being turned on by Sasuke's killing intent.

Hitting Suigetsu because he was about to reveal something she did to Sasuke in the past without his knowledge that she REALLY didnt want him to know. Even though we'll never know what it was, her reaction says enough that it was something Sasuke wouldnt like her for doing.

Stealing Sasuke's sweaty dirty clothes without his knowledge. She had this even before the sensory unit became an issue btw.

Being creepily turned on everytime shes bitten by him, any normal person would wince in pain at being bitten like this, not moaning in pleasure. Not kink shaming cuz I know masochism exists, just pointing out how weird af it is cuz Im pretty sure Kishimoto wasnt intending for her to be a masochist since she only finds pleasure in the biting, not pain in general.

Pretty much dehumanizing Karin, treating her as no more than a tool to find Danzo. To be fair Sasuke was awful to everyone atp, but yall try to act like one was better than the other [Karin or Naruto in other cases] this entire arc was to show how far into darkness Sasuke had fallen, remember that for my next points.

Sasuke literally telling her not to move so he could inflict a fatal would on Danzo through her and tells her shes a burden to him now for getting taken hostage. He does this not long after she had got drop kicked tryin to help him and then healing him while Danzo was down. As I stated above, Sasuke was awful to EVERYONE during this arc, but since yall like to use it against SS for why the relationship is toxic then I have to do the same for SK here, yall not special.

She begged Sasuke for help and he told her not to move and then betrayed her so he could fatally injure Danzo with the most sinister look on his face, that was beyond foul.

He was literally about to kill Karin who was a non threat to him, compared to Naruto and Sakura who were actively attcking/threatening him, Karin was on the ground bleeding out and he still was gonna go finish her off with zero hesitation. Atleast in Naruto and Sakura's case it was self defense, but for Karin it was just blatant cruelty, he told her not to move so he could get the killing blow on Danzo, said shes a burden for even getting taken hostage, now hes about to kill her cuz she 'knows too much', how any and I mean ANY of you excuse this but cant do the same for SS is beyond me. Sasuke was defending himself from Naruto and Sakura, but he was just being downright cruel to Karin unnessecarily. But you wanna talk about manipulative and repulsive.

Instantly forgiving him for his cruel treatment of her after a half hearted sorry and then creepily rubbin up against him. Its at this point I and many others lost all respect for Karin because not even Sakura was this pathetic when she first saw Sasuke after what he did to her in the previous arc.

Keep in mind shes inlove with him too, same as Karin, and did not act this pathetic. Even down to the apology Sakura wouldnt let him get off with just a 'sorry' but made him clearly say what he was sorry FOR and he apologized for everything he had done, thats way more sincere than just 'Im sorry Karin' while she's yelling at him to get her to shut up [which worked] compared to him apologizing voluntarily to Sakura who wasnt even asking for one but he did anyway because he genuinely felt remorse for what he did to her.

You dont even SEE what expression he has when he apologizes to Karin and the scene is used as comic relief, but Kishimoto shows Sasuke's sincere and remorseful expression as hes looking and apologizing to Sakura for what he's done and the scene is taken seriously, theres no jokes or weird creepy behavior, but a genuine heartfelt moment between the two.

She planned to make moves on an injured Sasuke while Suigetsu and Jugo were asleep. It dont take rocket science to know shes gonna make sexual advances at him based on her behavior up till this point and Suigetsu even implying she 'did' something to Sasuke in the past.

This is all self explanatory really, these are snippets from her databook which is canon content and consistent with her character. Her feelings are described as an obsession, dangerous, and that she keeps aiming to make him HERS. I dont think it gets any clearer than that why I wouldnt support someone like this.

Just a friendly reminder for all those who like to bring up Sakura being 'useless' and Sasuke feeling the same way well guess what? he's said the same about Karin too and that she was easily replacable, ironically by Sakura lol but he said there were other shinobi he could've picked just as good and way stronger too so, the only real reason he chose Karin was her tracking ability, he literally would've taken anyone else if not for that, and now that that ability is no longer needed neither is she.

No really he never uses her services again even when she comes back later to help in the war but he still gets help from Suigetsu and Jugo, she really was USELESS to him after this point lol speaking of the war though that brings up my next point.

In the middle of a war where the entire fate of the world is at stake, Karin says the most important thing right now is jumping Sasuke and licking him all over. Idgaf if you say this was just comic relief, this is consistent with her character so comic relief or not she REALLY thinks like this.

She stole his sweaty clothes, gets turned on when bitten by him, rubs up against him even while hes clearly uncomfortable, plans to make sexual advances at him while hes injured and the others are asleep, and your telling me this is just all comic relief and that she doesnt actually wanna do the things shes thinking of doing? fk outta here man.

Do I think Karin genuinely cared for Sasuke to some capacity? yes, do I think Sasuke cared for Karin to some capacity? yes, but that doesnt make their relationship any less disgusting or repulsive overall just because I believe there was some mutual care on both sides, that does not outweigh all the weirdo creepy behavior Karin has exhibited, nor does it outweigh Sasuke's total indifference and lack of remorse for anything he did to her even after coming to his senses and redeeming himself.

He never treated Karin as a friend, for a short time he viewed her as a comrade but afterwards he's never treated her as anything more than an acquaintance. Even though this is how he treated all of Taka really, Suigetsu and Jugo were atleast on the same wavelength Sasuke was, they wanted to help him of their own accord with no ulterior motives while Karin did aka 'making Sasuke hers'. Suigetsu and Jugo never asked for an apology nor expected one, they knew who Sasuke was and how he felt about em and accepted that, so as long as both sides are cool with the treatment then I cant condemn Sasuke for his actions if they themselves allow it and feel nothing about it, Suigetsu pretends he did but he still helped and followed him regardless even tho he no longer had anything to gain nor any reason to, even his reasoning that it was to 'split them up' Sasuke has always been indifferent to Karin from the start so there would've been nothing between them whether Suigetsu was there or not, it was all lies just to avoid saying he enjoyed Sasuke's company and actually had gotten attached to this little ragtag team.

Karin however did not accept it and was yelling at him about it until he gave her a half hearted sorry, then mentions multiple times when anyone confronts her about her feelings for Sasuke how 'he tried to kill her so how could possibly like him' which is a lie but the point is unlike Suigetsu and Jugo she actually DID feel some type of way about his betrayal and wanted to hold him accountable for it, so she WASNT ok with how he treated her and therefore I shouldnt be either.

But the main reason Im anti Karin is because of how creepy and perverted she is, I've felt no different about other perverted characters to this creepy an extent, the only reason yall shrug it off or say its just comedy is because its a girl towards a guy, but if Sasuke stole Karins sweaty shirt, did something to her in the past he punched Suigetsu to keep him from exposing, getting turned on and moaning everytime she bites him, wanting her to let two ppl die so it could just be the two of them, locking them in a room together and pressing up on her even while shes visibly and verbally uncomfortable, if he was plotting to make moves on injured Karin while the others are asleep, if he started rubbin up on her chest after he forgives her, if in the middle of the war hes thinking about wanting to jump and lick Karin all over.

I DARE you to try and tell me yall wouldnt want Sasuke's head on a stake for that, but since its a digusting creepy repulsive female towards a guy its all jokes and laughs. THATS why Im anti Karin in general, idc about her past, idc about how shes changed now, and idc about SPs made up filler about her past that contradicts what Kishimoto has written about her past because its not canon and has no basis in canon so why would I treat it like it is? even if it was it doesnt negate anything I've pointed out, nor does it excuse or justify her creepy behavior.

I support SS despite its flaws because there was mutual love and care on both sides, Sasuke was willing to die and lose out on getting his revenge, his lifes mission to save her, and Sakura was equally willing to sacrifice her life for his. He inspired her and made her want to be a better ninja, he made her understand her ignorance of what being an orphan is like which made her way more empathetic towards Naruto, Sasuke acknowledged and praised her strengths and encouraged her to get better, Sakura is the one who gave him both the push he needed to fight back against Orochimaru AND she's the one who made the curse mark rescind when Sasuke snapped, which btw he rampaged because of the state he saw Sakura in and wanted to avenge her, it was her [and Naruto] AGAIN that made Sasuke able to push back the curse mark during the chunin exams.

Sasuke had always acknowledged Sakura's feelings for him and responded to them while till this day he has never even acknowledged Karins weird obsession with him and always just brushed her off and told her to get back, but with Sakura he DID acknowledge her feelings, he never rejected her, but couldnt allow himself to accept those feelings because of the paths he chose to walk, the first one being avenging his clan and the second for him to create peace by ruling the world alone and severing all ties.

People like to use him saying 'she has no reason to love me and I have no reason to love her' as a rejection when it isnt when you look at the context of the scene.

Kakashi is standing up for Sakura telling him how much she only wanted to save him, SASUKE is the one who brings up romance but Kakashi shuts him down by saying you only need a reason to hate someone and that Sakura wasnt trying to make him hers but she just wanted to save him. Actually Ima just let Kakashi speak for himself.

I dont know how much clearer it needed to be than showing Sakura's sincere love for him reminding him of the sincere love he has for his family, he says perhaps those are ties to a failed past right after Kakashi says she's suffering from loving him, he immediately thinks of his family who he suffers from loving as well, he's literally acknowledging Sakura's feelings for him are genuine like Kakashi says but unfortunately nothing can be done about it, the same way his family is gone and he'll always suffer from loving them, is the same way things ever going back to the way they were with team 7 is gone and Sakura will always suffer from loving him as well, because he's decided to walk the lonely path again and cut all ties with them, with Naruto being the last.

After everything is resolved though and Sasuke is finally able to let go of all that hatred and accept Naruto's [and team 7s as a whole] love for him, we see Sasuke's true self and true feelings, and whats the first thing he does when he has this clarity? apologize to the one person he's hurt the most besides Naruto.

When he leaves to go on his redemption journey the only people he talks to before he leaves is team 7, Sakura asked to come with him but he told her he has nothing to do with her sins and to stay behind, which is true she didnt have anything to do with his sins so he really did have to take this trip alone for self reflection. But even though he turned her down from joining him, he promised to see her when he came back, which is a promise he obviously kept as he did come back and the two did travel together and somewhere in between got married and had their daughter Sarada at Karins hideout before coming back home to Konoha where Sasuke stayed for a short time before leaving alone again to go look into the other looming Otsutsuki threats.

Were there flaws with SS portrayal too? of course there was, every main ship got done dirty in one way or another cuz Kishimoto was just bad at writing their romances for some reason despite doing much better with other ships [MinaKushi, YahiKonan, DanTsuna] but thats not a flaw of the ships themselves as it is the writing for them. And no that doesnt excuse SK, because Kishimoto clearly intended for that to be weird, but he obviously meant for SS and NH to be viewed as sincere, he never took SK/Karin seriously and treated em as such, but he did SS/NH which is why you see their scenes are way more heartfelt with more effort put into it, was the execution always the best? hell no, but for what it was he still got the point across whether you disagree with how he handled certain things, myself included, or not.

SS is far from manipulative or repulsive, if your referring to anything from the novels I thought yall didnt consider the novels canon anyway? personally I rarely use the novels in arguments because theres so much debate in their validity, so personally I only acknowledge the novels that got official adaptions or snippets that have been referenced in canon material [like Sakura's childrens mental health clinic is implied in the anime, and Sasuke retsuden got an anime and manga adaption with Kishimoto's involved in the manga ver] these aspects I consider canon, anything else is debatable imo so I didnt use anything from them in any of my rebuttals, just official manga/databook content because thats whats the most explicitly canon by the creator himself. So if your talkin novel stuff I have nothing to do with that, I thought yall didnt consider it canon anyway, but if you do, then even in the novels shes not what you'd describe as manipulative and impulsive just because she isnt giving up on her feelings for Sasuke and will continue to pursue him? if Sasuke truly had no feelings for Sakura he would've made that explicitly clear, but he always left the door open for the possibility which is why Sakura never moved on while Karin did, cuz Sasuke made it clear his heart was with Sakura, not her.

So I'd love to know where you got manipulative and repulsive from because Sasuke's never been repulsed by Sakura, nor has Sakura ever tried to manipulate Sasuke or vice versa. If thats just your personal opinion thats fine, but you should atleast use the right labels to condemn SS with instead of ones that dont apply at all.

[sueske]

Thank you, hope you are doing well too!

firstly to clear the air about boruto - the only reason boruto exists is because it's a cash-grab sequel, it doesn't run much deeper than that. it's in no way the natural resolution to the problems of their world and the co-operation which sns agreed upon, it literally exists to ride on the success of its predecessor.

So with that out of the way. I think there is some valid criticism to be had about naruto, but I don't think he's an irreparable bootlicker like many anti naruto/pro sasuke stans claim.

naruto doesn't see konoha through rose-tinted glasses, from a child he was literally abused by the villagers, he doesn't think konoha is this magical place. His first mission has him declaring that he'd find his own ninja way as opposed to being a ninja who is used as a tool, because he didn't like that at all. while Naruto wanted to become hokage at the start because he wanted acknowledgement, that changed throughout the course of the story. He saw what happened with haku (which led him to develop his own ninja way, as in, he will never go back on his word, that's his ninja way, even when other people tell him to do things otherwise he will stick to what he believes in and what he says he will do, not a 'tool'), gaara and other jinchuuriki, nagato, sasuke, obito, madara, and how they were shaped by the times that they lived in. naruto literally empathised with sasuke and said that naruto could be in his shoes, because he recognises that sasuke is a victim. being hokage for naruto stopped with wanting to get acknowledgement, he already got that, instead he wanted to help exert change in the world (even though he doesn't have exact answers on how to do that) and to get all shinobi to co-operate together so the circumstances that led the previous events to happen don't happen again. however, whereas sasuke wanted to kill his humanity in order to become his version of hokage, naruto proposed a different path, of all shinobi co-operating with each other instead. naruto never disagreed with sasuke about needing change. naruto validated sasuke's feelings.

Naruto didn't care when sasuke killed danzo. If kumo killed sasuke, naruto would get revenge and thus konoha would be endangered. let me reiterate: if kumo killed sasuke, naruto would retaliate knowing that this would then trigger a bigger cascade and konoha would go to war. this is the exact opposite of protecting Konoha's interest. Konoha's interest would be killing sasuke to avoid that scenario like all the other characters chose to do, but that's something only naruto refused to do. These are not bootlicker actions lol it's the exact opposite - boot spitter? - it's everyone else who were portrayed as bootlickers, naruto was the only one who would ignore 'commands' for sasuke. That was literally the entire kage summit arc, where multiple characters voiced aloud 'you're not planning to go after sasuke' while even characters like sakura and kakashi thought sasuke was too far gone and naruto just left them all behind and we got to see how Naruto places sasuke above the village. the whole arc was literally done to juxtapose naruto's actions towards sasuke with everyone else's. where naruto placed sasuke above his dream of becoming hokage much like sasuke did for him back in the LoW.

now, all that being said, I will say some anti naruto criticism has validity. it IS true that naruto doesn't really hold konoha accountable. In the waterfall of truth scene instead of holding konoha accountable for their hypocrisy and treatment of him he just represses it. But given that he thinks he should endure, well.... naruto is a Repressed character. As for sasuke, even if naruto didn't believe tobito about the truth about itachi, naruto was going to tell everyone anyways, he didn't have any problem with the truth getting out. He was then stopped by kakashi, but afterwards naruto never vocalised saying it aloud again, despite the emphasis he also put on learning from the past and thus not erasing/forgetting about it. but it was just dropped and never re-visited. by sasuke too. now, this is messy because this is one of those things that I think was never re-visited because of the need for boruto due to reasons mentioned above. I had a discussion about this with someone in more depth so I'll just link it here if you're interested.

then there was the infamous edo-tensei itachi encounter which was pretty bad tbh, I understand why kishimoto didn't make naruto call itachi out (because of the whole itachi was a tragic hero narrative so he can't make the mc call him out) but it just made naruto look ooc considering how enraged he got when others tried to manipulate sasuke before and how much disdain he expressed with madara's IT plan (the genjutsu that would force people to live a lie ie what the KA would force sasuke to do). naruto antis who are 100% sure that naruto would've wanted to use shisui's KA on sasuke because naruto just asked itachi why he destroyed the bird are just like??? there's just no way naruto would do that.

I would also say that naruto is naive at times, I think he got called naive a few times by other characters as well, like sasuke and nagato. I do remember an interview where kishimoto also said naruto was naive but that because it's shonen these values need to be pushed, however, naruto did express anger and frustration at him being the one tasked to find an 'answer', when minato and jiraiya for example couldn't, 'why are you lumping this on me.' since naruto is just a 17 year old boy that people view as a 'hero', who a lot of people rely on and who impose their dreams onto him, and naruto bears the responsibility of it. but naruto's more idealistic approaches also become a foundation where two opposing forces could come in to work together - sasuke and naruto balancing each other out. working together, exerting the change they want to see in the world, having faith, even if it won't be easy they have faith to work together to a better future. and cut scene naruto ended at 699 and boruto never happened the end.