#he seems to be a cynical shithead

[podraje]

I'm reading Crime and Punishment, does Raskolnikov have a borderline personality disorder? Because he doesn't seem to have a stable sense of self and of the world.

[cuckaracha]

Ohhh please give Ace opinions. I love seeing people yap about Ace

With pleasure ^_^!

V spoilers talk! V

Most of my opinions were revealed to be sort of true on the last episode so it wouldn't surprise me if this is one-to-one what everyone believes now: Ace to me seems like an extremely love starved person, like, its so painfully obvious that he's faced some sort of neglect in his life. So much so to the point that he keeps himself guarded all the time to avoid falling for the trap of liking someone and then they immediately turn on him. Hence what he said to Levi during the trial. Ace is feels too much. He's well aware of his surroundings and how shitty he acts, but if he doesn't feel anger or fear, the loneliness kicks in. It's a toxic cycle of self-hatred, low self-esteem and cynicism. Though I do believe that it's mostly the situation making his bad habits shine more brightly, because during the prologue/chapter1, Ace is kind of just a bratty jock. He cracks jokes, he hangs out with everyone and he seems to not be plagued as much by his fear unless you breach the topic.

Hence why I personally think that there's no other person like Levi to be used as foil for him. Regardless of how you think on their relationship, be it romantic or platonic or whatever, it's nothing new that their attitudes clash so much, it comes back around to them covering each other's weakness very well. A little guy that feels to much and is scared of giving out of fear of being hurt, and a big guy that feels too little that gives to others out of necessity. So when taken to their natural extreme, they would very obviously have problems, specially under the circumstances that they're both in. Ace, tragically believing the one thing he knew he shouldn't have, and Levi hopelessly attempting to fix what he inadvertently broke. It's peak toxic yaoi imo.

(which also, at least in my opinion, makes Levi the one true Ace lover. None of the other boys have as much of their nuance intrinsically mangle with Ace's as him. But again, that's just me. Ship this little freak with however boy you want. Fuck it. Make him a slut even.)

The other thing that has popped in my mind a lot is his family situation. I know with my take of his family, he's like a middle child or whatever, but that was just me wanting to be contrarian to the obvious, more solid interpretation of Ace being the eldest of the 9 brothers. Because when you think about, him being forced into jockeying by his family to maintain them economically makes sense. He hates it, but if he doesn't do it, he'll be the loser everyone knows him to be. He'd be disposed of by his family, believing that they only care about him for his talent and the money that comes from it. And if he doesn't do it, the job might fall to one of his younger siblings. Something he can't morally do. Because as much of a stupid little shithead as he is, he's not an idiot. Ace knows what's right and what's wrong. He understands the cruelty of the world to an extent. And as such. He's forced into being the breadmaker for his big ass family until the day he either retires or dies.

All this to say. I love Ace Markey. He's such a silly little goofball full of depression and anxiety that is one fart away from going insane. Like I haven't even touched on my thoughts on Taylor (which I also got right on my earlier theory) and how that affects the Ace economy. I relate so much to this guy it's fucking unreal. I don't think I've ever hyperfixated on a character this much. Like. So much so that I even got a fucking custom plushie made out of him and am constantly drawing him.

Anyways thanks for listening to my old man ramble, have an Ace my friend Fennex made.

[coveredinmetaldust]

The discourse around the OceanGate situation is making me really fucking mad. You are getting a lot of posts like this one where people are decrying how inhumane it is for people to meme on the situation instead of grieving for the kind of people would work you to death if it meant a 0.002% stock price increase.

Yup, these fucking losers are equating willfully creating a death trap and killing 5 other people instantly to a car accident.

I don’t even entirely disagree that yes, it is tragic. I’d rather they didn’t die from an implosion caused by their metal death-tube crumpling in on itself because the arrogant shithead CEO decided that all these safety standards other subs adhere to were getting in the way of innovation. Obviously it would have been preferable to find them drifting on the ocean surface a day later shaken but ultimately unharmed.

No, I’m mad about how blatantly lopsidedly this flavor of moral outrage is always applied. You never see these people on Reddit, Twitter, etc crawl out of the woodwork to denounce the people saying “well he was no angel” when a person of color is gunned down by the police. You never see these same multi-paragraph posts decrying how immoral it is to say “play stupid games win stupid prizes” when this shit happens to the poor, disenfranchised, etc.

You don’t see it, because the people currently on their high horse are the same people who would call you a fucking idiot if you were on this submarine.

If the entree fee was $250 and five working class people were killed I can guarantee you'd see these same people joking about Darwin awards instead of saying stuff like this.

But no no, suddenly now is the time to stop victim blaming and start grandstanding while clutching at pearls. Now is the time to get indignant and accuse people not of feeling empathy and being inhumane sociopaths. There are now were entire call-out topics on Reddit where they organized and briggaded anyone who dares to say anything bad about these poor billionaires. Where the FUCK was this outrage during, I dunno, pick any one of the numerous fucking examples of brutality and/or exploitation occurring within the last three years. Oh right, these dopey fucks were too busy wagging their fingers at the victims and telling them to take Personal Responsibility™. Too bad, if only they were born rich—then maybe these paragons of virtue on social media would go to bat for them.

But you know what the worst part of this discourse is? I can’t quite put it into words, but it’s so blatantly fucking obvious to me that all of this is insincere—this is actual virtue signaling. You can just tell by the tone, the regurgitated talking points, the slimy smug indignation. This is false empathy over people they couldn’t care less about and won’t even remember in a week, because the point isn’t to being a compassionate person.

No, this to grandstand and get that dopimine rush by calling people out. This is being done to score points for some political ideology and Own The Libs/Commies/Socialists/[insert any slightly left of center ideology]. This is so the Panglossian shitheels of social media can maintain the status quo and feel superior by stamping out any act of defiance or rebellion.

None of these of these people seemed to care about how disrespectful this kind of disaster tourism is for the victims of the Titanic. (Victims, who, were mostly lower class since the wealthy were the ones who were allowed to escape.) They don’t care that these rich assholes were profiteering off a tragedy and making a spectacle out of visiting a mass grave. No, they save that smug, condescending, and cynical response for the people who call out these rich assholes.

It makes me want to throw my computer into the ocean.

Now, if you are one of these people I’m screaming into the void about, and you genuinely do not understand why people are memeing the situation so hard, you need to take a step back and recognize that this is, objectively, an absurd and cartoonish situation. This could have easily been a plot for an episode of The Simpsons. This whole goddamn situation reads like something thrown together by a room of writers who were trying to out “yes and” one another until one stopped everyone and said: “Woah woah, hold on. The CEO’s wife is a descendant of the Titanic victims? Isn’t that just a little much?” And then everyone else ignored this person and just kept fucking going.

In short: it was the perfect storm of absurdity, coincidence, hubris, tragedy, and stupidity.

But that's just a surface level explanation which ignores the context of the last hundred or so years. Ask yourself: "why are so many people so unsympathetic towards these particular victims?" Well, there are a multitude of reasons that contributed to how we got to this point and this guy does a much better job of explaining it than I ever could:

[hannahssimblr]

In the evening we bike to the shop to buy firelighters. Jen says she likes the idea of a bonfire while we eat our barbeque food, even though the only time one has even been lit at the beach house is when my dad did it, all the while ranting on about how he learned everything he knew about fire in the boy scouts, and how if I had an iota of discipline or self control I might have benefitted from them before the local pack expelled me for being a shithead.

He was right. I reluctantly accept it as Jen and I approach the materials for making fire. Nobody has ever told me about the difference between briquettes and coal, what firelighters actually look like and exactly where peat plays into all of this. I know nothing about how to do manly things, and only ever figured out how to pitch a tent after subtly watching Shane do it the first time he and I went camping in the woods. 

In contrast, my father has shot an actual gun. He and his brothers hunted deer, game and wild pigs in the hills around their family farmhouse in Redding California. As they loaded up their rifles and zipped up their jackets they would say things to me about how I’d be coming with them someday, as though was some sort of honour, something to strive for, but by the time I was big enough to kill pheasants I was already five thousand miles away drawing comics on printer paper. My soft hands were meant for art.

“You grab the firelighters,” I tell Jen, and take a swerve towards the magazine stand so that I can peruse something in my comfort zone. There’s a small selection of artsy magazines, and I flip one open. 

“Um, do you think we should buy gasoline or something?” She stands chewing on her lip. 

“Probably not, right? That seems dangerous.”

“Should we ask someone?” 

“What? No.” Embarrassing.

I pretend to be engrossed in an article so that I don’t have to help, but while I'm there, an ad catches my eye, “Hey,” I call out to Jen, “would you want to go to an exhibition this weekend?”

“What kind?”

“Art.”

“Yeah, what kind?”

I turn the page to her so that she can see it, “contemporary,” and her eyes narrow at the images of weird sculptures made of bits of scrap metal, canvases with random splatters of paint dripping off the bottom, colour bleeding onto the floor.

“Hm. See, that’s the kind of weird art I don’t get.”

“It’s not about the art specifically, it’s about us doing something fun together.”

“And that’s in Dublin?”

“Yes.”

She smirks in a self satisfied way, “You’re bored,” she stops a passing customer to ask him if he knows what firelighters are, and if so, what does the box look like.

He shows her, and while she’s picking up the last two packets I come to stand with her, not helping, because now I'm more interested in selling this new idea to her. “It’ll be fun! How nice would it be to have a change of scenery? Get back to the city where stuff is actually happening, maybe go to that ice cream place you like.”

I’m certain this will sway her, but she pulls a face, “There’s loads of ice cream here, and the only reason you think nothing is happening on the beach is because you’re deliberately not doing anything.”

“Is it so bad that I want to have a day out with you?”

“No, I suppose not, but...” She wrinkles her nose “Fine. I don't want to be cynical. Do you think I’m cynical?”

“Yeah a bit.” I pay for the firelighters. As we exit the shop into the lingering light of the evening I admit to her, “I’m trying to cheer myself up, I just think I should make the most of the time I have left.”

She laughs, “It sounds like you’re terminally ill. You’re moving. So what? I’ll still talk to you all the time.”

“Yeah but I really want to savour these last few weeks. Will you come to the gallery?” I grip her arm and pretend to die, letting my knees buckle under me to really sell it, “...before it’s too late?”

“God, yes, fucking hell,” she groans, “I’ll come. I’ll do whatever you want for the rest of the summer, right?”

I throw an arm around her, “Thanks Jen.”

“Yeah, manipulator.”

“Takes one to know one,” I say cheerily, and we unlock our bikes and head towards home.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[still-a-morosexual-help]

I just read Mammon's The Guardian Demon devilgram. Adorable! Mammon is top tier dad. My mc will fight those witch and raise that girl in Devildom with her father as God (or whatever obey me verison of God is) intended! I need dad Mammon in my life right now. Does the game mention his daughter more in other stuff?

Also Imma punch Solomon in the face. Sometimes this game makes it really hard to like Solomon. Why is he written to go out of his way to put down Mammon!? Yes, all of his brothers do it, but at least they know him and care about him when they're not being shitheads to each other. Why does Solomon have so much beef with Mammon? I'm not saying he can't, because everyone does. But idk it feels more aggressive when it comes from Solomon. Maybe it's because I haven't seen much of his character aside from the devilgrams and pop quizzes.

-💙🐏

Yes!! Definitely one of my favourite devilgrams! Outside of the Devilgram they mention her in S1 and in S3, I believe, Mammon mentions the three witches and going up to the human world frequently to meet them

Okay so about Solomon,

-> He thinks in a very practical way rather than an emotional way and, though his constant smile and upbeat attitude may not show it, he's rather cynical (the complete opposite of Mammon). We see this a lot in Nightbringer, where he's constantly preparing for a fight between the human world and other two realms and is heavily skeptical when MC talks about making the other two realms see humans as equals without it leading to a fight.

-> He talks about how demons (and angels) look down on humans and about wanting to make them see humans as equals but he himself seems to see demons as lesser than humans. He somewhat admits this in s3? s4? where he says he only started seeing demons as friends recently. But even this doesn't stop him from collecting them and trying to use them as weapons against their own people if he needs to

-> Solomon has lived a long time and it's made him very stuck in his belief that demons (and angels) see humans as lesser beings and nothing, other than proving it wrong through force, will change that. Even though we do see the attitudes of demons changing slowly throughout s1-4 with Diavolo's pilot exchange program

-> Solomon doesn't really have any family members or even close friends when he's first introduced in S1. The closest people to him are Asmo, Barbatos and Thirteen and we already know that he didn't see the demons he had pacts with as friends until recently. So that just leaves Thirteen, with whom he has a very atypical friendship. They care about each other but they wouldn't put each other before anything else. He doesn't seem to have the best understanding on what typical (specially familial) relationships are like. This is why Solomon initially believes that MC, being human, would be like him and pick the safety of humanity over their loved ones. When almost any average human would tell you that they'd pick their loved ones over countless faceless strangers - something even Nightbringer knew

So Mammon's whole deal with the witches for the sake of some human child probably made him very skeptical. And so he tries to break it down to something that's more understandable to him, something that fits within his belief system

Eg: "Oh she's not excited to see Mammon because she sees him like a family member she just has a silly little kiddie crush on him"

^ Which is an insane thing for him to say, specially when both Mammon and MC (two of the most emotionally intelligent characters in om!) instantly pick out the fact that the girl sees Mammon as a father figure

But Solomon interprets it like a crush because crushes make sense. You can have a crush on a demon, specially if they helped you out. Hell, there are demons specifically there for you to have crushes on like Asmo and the succubi and incubi. But for a demon and a human to see each other as family? That's strange

Anyway Solomon is such a complex and interesting character, there's just so much you can unpack there, but I tried to keep this short as possible

[maxknightley]

Played "Paradise Killer" recently. Mostly very compelling, with the exception of one really dumb twist that I think drags the whole thing down a bit.

Reflecting on it, though, I think what I find striking is how it stands in contrast to Disco Elysium - specifically, how it makes the role of the detective seem even more bleak and pointless by comparison. Not only are you working for total shitheads, but there is essentially no meaningful impact your actions can have on their victims, save for the ones who are already dead and can be granted a measure of peace by revealing The Truth. Exonerate the obvious patsy and all you get is "well, he's been proclaimed Not Guilty, but he's still going to be killed because of the fundamental way this society works." It makes one wonder if anything you're doing is even worth it, since - if your actions achieve anything at all - it's primarily that you're making the next Hell more resilient.

In Disco Elysium, the cops are a bad institution under the thumb of an even worse one, but You and Kim can still help people in small but meaningful ways. The Pale is eating away at the fabric of the world and one day might consume everything, but hell, who knows, the world is full of wonders and possibly psychic powers regardless. The union is corrupt but at least there is a union. Et cetera.

There's just something striking about it, imo. I don't think either approach is necessarily "better" or "worse" than the other - I just think it's interesting to consider them both as part of a whole, especially since the "beautiful" and bouncier and arguably sillier game is way more cynical about the archetype of The Detective than the game that's gray and gloomy and waxes poetic about the collapse of communism.

[tobiasdrake]

The Demon General Burmese Tapir has been slain! Onward, to victory!

Quadruple Shithead at 12 o'clock and closing in fast. Let's fuck him up, Manfred, so we can end this whole thing and go home!

PINWHEELS OF DEATH! I fucked up the Sycophantic Speedster and now I'm here to--

Wait, why does this seem alarmingly familiar? I am at 12 out of 10 on the What The Fuck Scale.

Oh my goddess, we are doing this again.

The fucking Time Shards. They manifest whenever time's being looped. I was waiting for something like this but I wasn't anticipating... this.

That's what Western Hero means!?

It's not a fucking prophecy, it's a goddamn loop. Oh yeah, the great prophets predicted NO THEY FUCKING DID NOT, THEY'RE JUST WATCHING RERUNS.

...

Uh, please disregard my sacrilegious fury. You have done nothing wrong.

I can't believe our whole order is an Avatar chain of postal delivery workers passing the same package along.

What the fuck are we even doing here?

I think... I think I need to lie down and think about my life. Everything I thought I knew about what we were doing was just shot to hell.

I've been moving at a frantic pace from one thing to another and... and for what? I can't do it anymore. I need some time to process and really think about--

FUCK YES I'M THERE LET'S DO IT

You know what, that makes sense yet is somehow tremendously disappointing.

I've built up so much mystique, so much allure surrounding what this even is. But there was never anything there to begin with. It was just a closet. The allure came from the narrative we wove together surrounding the cabinet, moreso than its true contents.

A pretty little fiction in a pretty little bow, tied around a mundane piece of nothing. An apt metaphor for the entire Messenger syst--

Hang on, do you use a glamour photo to get dressed instead of a mirror? Because that's amazing. 10/10 Luana-approved.

So now I'm being inducted into the Cryptic Asshole community? Sure. Whatever. I could use friends, I--

OH I'M YOU NOW AM I

Is that how this works? ...wait, hold up, does that mean your true identity is the Archer who Western Heroed all over my burning village? This is where you've been all this time!?

BYE!?

I have so many questions about--

WELCOME TO ASSCLOWN'S ANAL EMPORIUM. If you give me a moment, I'm sure we have something your size.

Expect to do remarkably little shopping here. There's a bit of it, but for the most part, I'm just going to give you useful geographic background information and stuff. Oh, and I suppose I could read you my favorite passages from the Moon Goddess fab-- I mean, I have some neat stories to share.

Don't get used to freebies; Those only come along when you need a traversal boost for the next leg of your journey. I expect you to pay me in Time Shards for most of your Upgrades. Don't ask what I'm doing with them. You're still too young for that level of cynical disillusionment.

He seems nice. We're going to be best friends.

Wow, from my perspective, you were gone five seconds. For some reason, I anticipated being unmoored from time and space to still progress time at the same pace as, y'know, being moored in time and space. I don't know why I thought that.

Sure, I guess we'll breeze through this loop.

Gonna be totally honest with you, about 80% of the lore you're going to receive from me is probably going to be made up on the spot. I wish I understood even half as much of this world's deep secrets as my predecessor did, he was always so quick with the....

...

Oh, son of a bitch.

I need a moment. I'm having horrifying revelations. The shop is temporarily closed due to existential despair.

[lord-radish]

The Chibnall run of Doctor Who really bums me out because I really liked what it was trying to do, but something always seemed to bring the show down.

The new monsters - fine at worst. I remember speculating with a mutual about whether other Stenza take other body parts of their victims as battle trophies. I liked the P'Ting, and I LOVED the dudes from Demons of the Punjab. The giant spider was mid and the time-travelling racist was a cardboard cutout, but I felt like the earnest attempt at trying something new in series 11 was good and they could have done more than just a P'Ting cameo later in the run.

I like that they tried to have a larger crew of companions, even if the writers seemingly couldn't write four main characters and decided to sideline one of them every episode. I feel like Mandip Gill put a lot of character into her performance in series 11, even though Yaz was the most sidelined character in favor of Ryan and Graham's "granddad" arc. I was disappointed that Ryan got sidelined for most of series 12 while Graham seemed to mourn Ryan's nan more than he did. Then Dan came and went.

I can appreciate that they tried to up the ante with the Flux season, but it was such a precarious watch where one episode would be one of my favourites since like 2008, and the next one would be underbaked in that Chibnall sort of way and frustrate things. Boring invincible villains, a whole sideplot starring new characters that barely ties into the season's arc, and mangling the Timeless Child plotline - but also the one Weeping Angel episode that I was genuinely entertained and gripped by, and a fantastic Sontaran episode too. If it stuck the landing, I would have forgiven the bad stuff - but it didn't! The season just ends with a thud!!

And at the centre of it all, like glue holding the entire thing together, was Jodie Whittaker's Doctor. She's my favourite Doctor since Tennant, and she elevated the material that she worked with. But the material just... wasn't there. Demons of the Punjab is a GOATed episode, but Orphan 55 might be my least favourite episode of the revival series. I didn't like most of Moffat's run, period - at best, Orphan 55 ties with Sleep No More as my least favourite episode - it depends on whether you prefer dull, uninspired storytelling in the former or a cynical attempt to cash in on trendy, creepypasta-esque horror storytelling in the latter.

But none of this is in a vacuum. Chibnall tried - I genuinely liked the Timeless Child stuff at the end of series 12. The script writers and episode directors tried - Demons of the Punjab and Village of the Angels are fantastic episodes of the show, period. The VFX crew tried - the first episode of the run looked great, the title sequence was fantastic and the effects in that final season were outstanding. The actors tried - Jodie Whittaker, Mandip Gill and Bradley Walsh were high points of this series, while I felt like Tosin Cole got totally shafted. And fuckin Sasha Dhawan? Seriously? Dude owned.

And I liked the approach that the show was taking after the overly self-serious and self-aggrandizing vibe of Moffat's run. I thought searching for the TARDIS was a fun little arc to start the run. I liked the whole "ancient pre-Time Lord alien races" thing that Chibnall does, even in The Power of Three (despite that villain sucking). The security drone Daleks were lightyears better than the New Paradigm Daleks. The Doctor felt like she was sharing the experience with her companions, instead of portraying herself in this loud, egomaniacal way where she has to assert how awesome she is. But the run STILL fell below expectations.

And the worst part is that because the run was so heavily politicised and so much of the hate came in the form of review-bombing and ideological "culture war" horseshit, it was next to impossible to have a productive conversation about Chibnall's run for ages. It's like the right-wing shitheads who poisoned the well with The Last of Us Part II; I couldn't have a productive conversation about that game for years because the haters were doing shit like analysing in-game cafeteria menus and using them to disprove the possibility of a buff woman in a zombie apocalypse, despite thinking the game was like a low-range 7/10 at worst.

So much of the backlash was ideological and political that people would rather blame a shitty episode on the fact that the Doctor transformed into a woman than the fact that it felt like a rejected SyFy Original Movie script with a single rubber costume.

It's just so disappointing in hindsight. At least they broached the topic of Thasmin with some tact, even if they didn't go through with it. Honestly, I stan Yaz forever.

[batri-jopa]

10 Characters and 10 Fandoms

Rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same.

Thank you @figuringthengsout for tagging me! Since it's not my first "favorite characters" tag game I'm going to play with it a little:

So there's that ONE character who's usually in the background, because he's way too smart to throw himself directly into the main plot. He already knows it all. Seen it all, lived it all, he suffered enough to have his skin thick as an armour. And he is terminally ill or already nearly died few times (or actually died multiple times if he's immortal) so he simply can't care anymore. He's too tired to laugh at the danger, he's more like: come on danger, I don't have whole day. He's wise and smart, he's rude and grumpy, all his advices are cynical and sarcastic, but you'd rather hear from him that you're a pathetic shithead than never meet him again. Apart from losing faith in humanity and despite his efforts to fuck it all already - deep inside he's still the most rightous and skilled person around. And if he have no other option but do things by himself as a main character - he makes the best of it just running on pure insolence and morbid humour, knowing right from the start there's no happy ending for him...

So here's just few examples of this guy:

Doktor Szlangbaum from The Doll / Lalka (book by Bolesław Prus first published in 1889, also 1978 TV series) - old grumpy jewish doctor full of life wisdom and sarcastic comments. When still young and stupid he once tried to kill himself out of love but been rescued and since then he used to say suicidal people should not be disturbed.

Gaius Petronius from Quo Vadis. He's too cool to act. But if he have to - he kicks ass. He kicks all the asses. With Neron the caesar being the biggest ass of them all.

Mendoza from The Mysterious Cities Of Gold (TV series, 1982-1983). They'd love to kill him in second episode already - if not for the fact it is XVI century and on the ocean, and he is the Navigator, and they would literally die without him... So he's aware of it, he can play with his privileges and their expectations. Always being himself. You never know if he's good or evil, he's always working on his own terms and for his own good, he seems to change sides of the conflict quite fluently... In one episode one of his stupid sidekicks asks him who they are working for right now because he got really confused... That's the character trait, ladies and gents🤣

Hobson from Arthur (1981). What a vicious, grumpy, cynical old man! Terminally ill, of course. You got to love him, no other option.

Dirty Harry (nuff said). Saving the suicide jumper is my most favorite scene. Yes, it's wrong, yes, it's against all the rules, but OMG how authentical it was... And Man with No Name from Dollars Trilogy is actually the same guy so yeah, count him too.

Duńczyk from Vabank (1981) - "Z wiekiem spada zapotrzebowanie na zysk, a rośnie popyt na święty spokój" (With age, the demand for profit is falling and there's a growing demand for peace of mind)

Bob Cody from Interstate 60 - "Say what you mean, mean what you say". And he MEANS IT. For real... Terminally ill has no scruples

Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) from Live, Die, Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow. I am a little sorry that she's the only female on this list but how can I help that kind of woman characters are so rare? It's like every Ghibli Studio girl with her "fuck off I have the world to save" attitude but Rita is not a minor. And everytime Tom Cruise's character comes to her presence to lose his head and get hard (he's basicly a stupid dick with legs) she's like: "We're trying to avoid apocalypse here, can you focus?" And kills him. Again and again. She literally kills the handsome prick every damn time unless he comes back good enough to save the world with her. So yeah, she have that ultimate AroAce energy that I adore 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

So now for two characters of different trait - villains:

Shere Khan from Jungle Book (1967) - he's a villain but he's so awesome. Like: everybody around knows he's the most dangerous killer around so he simply doesn't need any show off or flexing muscles. Whenever he appears each and every animal already shits their pants (regardless of no pants) and he is sooo aware of that effect that he plays with it. Being just so casual and courteous. And when anyone still needs more persuasion he's like: oh, we're both gentlemen here and I surely don't need to remind you of my CLAWS for that would be improper... He's such a killer🤣

Frank Burns from M.A.S.H. TV series. He's a villain too. And he's sooo evil. But sooo stupid. He's a human louse. He's so pathetic it's almost cute. And whenever he does something really wrong you know he's going to be punished and humiliated - and it's such a relaxing ritual of restoring your faith in humanity...🥲

Okey, that'll be it. Tagging @notasapleasure and @morulezopelforever and... if you're reading this and would like to dust off your drafts and notes you can feel tagged too👍

[ansonghq]

MEET RESIDENT NICOLAS CHO.

✽ ✎… ( jake sim, cis male, he/him) — we hope ansong has found you well, nicolas cho. you know yourself to be 22 years old and currently reside in unit #5 on floor #14. while you have been here for one month, you seem to remember none about your former life. currently you’re employed at glaaze as a instructor. you recall that some people consider you to be loyal & charismatic, but sometimes you seem to be cynical & possessive. we hope you find everything you’re searching for, and maybe a little bit more.

in their box sits five notecards, they are:

notecard #1: a hasty sketch of what looks like nic drawn in the margin of someone’s math homework, the name is smudged off

notecard #2: a post-it the says ’i love you, please sleep so i don’t have to make you sleep’

notecard #3: a folded notebook paper scrap that reads ’is your dad out of town?’

notecard #4: a crudely drawn picture of a rat, a bird, and a teddy bear

notecard #5: a landscape sketch with the words ’sorry i’m such a pain in the ass��� scrawled on the back

in their tote bag sits three mementos, they are:

a frame that had been hand painted. its a array of soft, warm colors, and the word 'family' is handwritten on the bottom part of the frame. in the frame sits a photo of 3 people (including nic), all of them smiling into the camera, mid-laugh. they look happy. they look like a real family.

a letter that reads: i don't know what to write this is stupid words suck i never wrote an apology letter before. but. i'm sorry. for being a shithead. i'll tell skye sorry. i will do all the dishes for a week. please don't get rid of me. thank you for taking care of me. i'll do better for you. -love, (the name is smudged)

a delicate silver ring with evenly spaced cutouts along the entire band

[drunkelreporter]

Roberto hums and lifts his glass to his lips, which turns out to be a mistake. Wolfwood is a little shithead at the best of times.

He barely avoids spilling his drink all over himself and Astarion, both from the absolute hysterics his boyfriend has dissolved into and because he's having to cough whiskey out of his lungs. That's never fun, that shit burns going down and back up.

"Gah, you trying to kill me?" Roberto wheezes and hacks, finally getting enough control back to give Astarion a baleful look as he joined in the teasing. That's fine, Roberto can take teasing and he can give as good as he gets too.

"He may have bought the house but he's the who got bent over the table last night. May not have used the word 'daddy' in particular but to be fair, there was a whole lot of begging involved so I might have missed it." His grin is all sly and smug, more then happy to be a smartass right back at the both of them. Like this he seems younger, more like an old self neither of them ever got to meet, peeking out occasionally past the age and cynicism.

"Guess if we ever break up we'll be arguing over visitation," he jokes, ducking to press another kiss to Astarion's forehead and direct a softer, fond grin at Wolfwood. "Congrats, now you've got two dads. Quite the upgrade."

Yeah, this is right. It all settles wamth into the aching, empty spot behind his breastbone; not a replacement but... Something new.

"Ocean?" Wolfwood was surprised by the word, he'd heard of them but only as myths. "So..." He looks between the two, piecing together what they were, their dynamic and the situation.

"What you're telling me, is you're the sugar baby?" The question earns a sudden bark of laughter that Astarion tried to muffle in Roberto's shoulder, soon outright wheezing with the effort.

Wolfwood sat back, arms crossed, looking smugger than Zazie as he grinned like the devil. "Does that mean you call him daddy?" The thumping of Astarion's hand on the table as he tried to find breath he truly didn't need, doubling over the table to try and hide himself behind his arms as he all but cried into the smooth wood.

The grin softened as Wolfwood looked to Astarion, watched the way muscles unwound as he nearly toppled to the floor, the mask of smugness returning when red eyes raised to him then snapped to Roberto.

"I'm keeping him. He's mine now too." the words are strained, forced out between little fits of giggles as arms returned to cuddling Roberto. "Go on. Answer him, baby." The purr is low, sly as his eyes shone with the mischievous devil that he was.

Now Roberto had two smartasses to deal with.

[candycityy]

—shoutout to @avadescent for inspiring me to write offended-attention-deprived levi. because why not right? right.

Levi isn't an unreasonable man.

Rude, sure. Neurotic, well, maybe. He's aware of his flaws, thanks, but as far as he's concerned, unreasonable has never been one of those.

And yet—looking down at the hopeful expression of his subordinate, he feels the irrepressible urge to say something wholly unreasonable. Something like no.

"It'd be a really good opportunity," Petra says, as usual catching on to his thoughts far too quickly for his comfort. "The Military Police has never showed any interest in us before, this could be a real chance to rally some support—"

"Some extra coin, you mean," Levi interjects drily. Far too used to her captain's cynicism, Petra presses on, unperturbed.

"Besides," she adds, "it's just for a week. And the commander—"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Levi waves an irritated hand. "The Military Police is in town, they finally manage to get over their massive fucking egos long enough to realise how shit their fatality rates are against actual titans, as opposed to the scum—"

"Captain."

"Criminals," Levi amends, "that they waste their time chasing after, most of the time. And now they want a tour guide to show them around. Fine. But why you?"

Petra levels a glare at him—the only one of his soldiers who'd have the guts to do so—and he feels a stab of grudging respect. "Are you insinuating that I'm not qualified, sir?"

"Just asking why."

"In that case, sir, I'd wager that the commander," she enunciates the world pointedly, "nominated me because I'm nice and friendly and have the second-highest kill count in the Corps. And unfortunately, the soldier with the actual highest kill count has approximately the charm and charisma of a dead slug."

He narrows his eyes at the soldier, who immediately schools her expression back into one of wide-eyed innocence. "You're an insubordinate brat, Ral."

"I'm saving you from having to deal with the MP yourself, sir," Petra says patiently. "You know that if you don't give me permission, Commander Smith is going to go after you next."

They stare at each other for a few seconds, locked in stalemate. Finally, Levi sighs.

"Fine," he mutters. "You can be their tour guide, as long as you keep up with your training in your own time. And, Ral?"

"Sir?"

"For fuck's sake don't be too nice to them."

Petra's answering grin is wry and knowing, even as she lifts her fist to her chest in a flawless salute. "I'll try, sir."

==

The lounge is unnaturally quiet.

Apart from the sound of his pen scratching onto the seemingly endless pages, and the occasional murmured curse from Auruo whenever Gunther takes yet another one of his pawns, there's a strange, heavy silence permeating the ordinarily cheery room.

In his corner, where he's aimlessly folding bits of newspaper into a series of increasingly complicated figures, Eld exhales loudly. "I miss Pet," he declares, morosely tossing a miniature bird into the trash can across the room and missing by a clear metre.

At Levi's glare, he goes to collect it quickly enough.

Auruo snorts in a show of derision. "What for? The peace and quiet's a nice change." He steals a quick, hopeful glance at Levi, who obligingly pretends not to notice.

Privately, Levi agrees with Eld. The squad has been unusually quiet without its sole female member, and he's on more than one occasion during training found himself looking over his shoulder, expecting to see Petra's lithe form at his back, ready to sweep in for an assist.

And. even though he'd sooner stab himself with a blade than admit it, the tea he's been forced to make in her absence—as careful as he's been with his technique—just isn't the same. He takes a sip and wrinkles his nose with annoyance.

"It's only been two days," Gunther says absently, ignoring Auruo's sound of protest as he neatly plucks a knight off the chessboard. "And she seems to be enjoying it."

"Is she?" Levi goes. He flicks off a stray bug with the tip of his pen, and savagely crosses out a misspelling.

"Yeah. An old friend from the Cadet Corps is in the lot that came in with the MP, she mentioned she'd been catching up with him."

"An old boyfriend, more like." Auruo hisses in exasperation when Gunther swipes yet another piece. "Michael, right? I remember him. Smug little slimeball, he was."

Levi stiffens. "She didn't mention that," he says, as casually as he can. Gunther shoots him a curious glance, which he ignores.

"Yeah, well, why would she?" Eld yawns and gets to his feet, stretching. "This blows. I'm gonna get some sleep. Later."

Levi sips at his tea, feeling violently and inexplicably irritated despite the would-be comfort of the familiar brew. The feeling doesn't fade, not even when the chess game ends with Gunther's resounding victory and both men traipse out of the room, leaving him alone in the quiet.

He dots an i with more severity than strictly necessary and decides to call it a night, too.

==

Petra continues to spend the better part of the next week flitting off to attend to their unwanted guests. With every activity that she doesn't turn up at, Levi finds his mood turning a shade fouler. Training isn't as productive. The whole squad is off their game.

Also, he misses her.

That evening, the lounge is empty. The rest of the squad has gone off to town for a much-needed drink, leaving Levi alone behind to tackle yet another stack of paperwork.

He's worked himself into a monotonous rhythm when the door swings open and Petra steps in, looking exhausted but content. Against his will, Levi feels his mood lift a fraction, although he keeps his scowl firmly in place.

"Captain," Petra greets with her usual smile, flopping down on her favourite spot at the sofa, "where's everyone?"

"Town," Levi replies shortly.

"Oh?" Her smile turns into a yawn, and he notes with an odd feeling the shadows under her eyes. "I need a drink, too. The MP visitors have been a handful. Did you know that most of them have barely touched their 3DMG after graduating? They're so rusty, they make Hanji's gear look positively shiny."

Levi has to stop himself from snickering; the squad leader is notorious for failing to maintain her gear, much to her second-in-command's constant despair. He has to force his expression to remain icy. Petra looks at him curiously.

"Anything the matter, captain?" she goes. He shrugs.

"Not really."

"That's not the same as no," Petra observes. Levi casts her a dark glare.

"Insubordinate," he mutters. "Just...hasn't been the best week."

"Because of me?"

Levi stares down at his paperwork.

"Maybe," he finally replies. Still refusing to meet her gaze, he asks, casually, "So, did anything exciting happen?"

He's still not looking at her, but he can hear the frown in her voice as she shakes her head. "Not really."

"That's not the same as no," Levi echoes. His subordinate rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"One of my old squadmates, back in the cadet corps, was being annoying throughout," she admits. Levi tries to keep his expression composed, even as something in his chest seems to lift, for whatever reason.

She clears her throat, seemingly eager to move on to the next topic. "Apart from that, the most exciting thing was probably seeing the captain of the MP almost lose his lunch after we showed him Hanji's lab."

Levi finally allows himself to snort. "Shitheads."

"Shitheads," Petra agrees. Her lips quirk into a tentative smile. "I missed the squad, though."

It's phrased like a sentence but sounds more like a question.

He makes the mistake of looking at her. Her cheeks are red, and there's a light in her eyes that seems nervous, almost shy. Yet she meets his gaze with a kind of determination. Questioning. Hopeful.

It's an unusual look for the girl who cuts down titans without batting an eyelid. Something in the back of mind tells him that her words are layered, but he forces himself to focus on the outside.

"The squad wasn't the same without you," Levi finally replies. It's not nearly enough, even he knows that.

Still, it's sufficient to make her whole countenance brighten and her smile shift into something different, whole. He realises belatedly that the dark, irritated cloud that has persisted in the back of his mind for the past week has dissipated almost entirely.

He shoves away the realisation quickly. Petra just smiles at him, seeming to know his thoughts before he can even begin to wonder at them. As usual.

"It's good to be back, captain," she says softly.

"Good to have you back, Ral."

[writingforyourpleasure]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader

Link to chapter one :   https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/190745024051/on-the-road-again

Author’s note: Enjoy ! 

2.      “ 666 “

After they all introduce their self to you, they all went back to their conversation with Billy and Dex . You sat on the floor having nowhere else to sit . 

You listened to their argument about which of Gotham villains was the best one, just when you finally wanted to take part into the conflict a loud bang on the door resounded and a voice, probably of the boys crew, maked itself heard calling the guy for make up and costumes. You were also told to hurry up on yours if you wanted to be on stage in 30 minutes. You actually started to stressed out at this point . You got your make up done and your stage clothes on in top record. Your make up was blue flames under your eyes made with your electric blue liner and red eyebrows with mate black lips. Your stage clothes was a XL Chaos T-shirt in vivid red completely destroyed in which you almost drowned because he was so large, your camo pants and rangers , easy and perfect for a lot of sweating. You took your drum sticks and headed to the stage. 

A wave of screams maked itself heard at your arrival, fading as soon as you joined your kit and Dex his bass. You closed your eyes letting Dex start with their bass introduction to the first song soon matching them on their rhythm and the familiar passion eating you alive. No one existed , right now it was just like when you were sixteen. In your bedroom behind your drums and Dex facing you with his bass close to your bed , the door of your room open to let your parents listen to your music, they asked for it. And the most important public in the world , your dog Matcha. Yes, playing for an entire arena was just amazing, but right now you played for yourself , wanting to let yourself go . You always tried to give the best of yourself, you didn’t wanted to loose the magic of what this moment procured you. 

Once you’re part was done , an interlude of 30 minutes took places .

“Dude you smell SO bad right now” You shoved your left elbow into his ribs for yelling it so loud to anyone who would listened .

“Shut your stupid mouth , you smell as bad as I do”

“Well Y/N I’ll loved to say you’re right … but you aren’t” This shitty Ames said coming up in front of you to leave for the scene to bring back in your truck your instruments . soon followed by Billy who shout you up a smile.

“I think you smell okay Y/N”

“Thank you , but no need for such big lies pretty boy” You winked at him , making pink appeared under his beard . You walked it off with a smug grin along with an amused chuckled .

Crossing paths with Ray , Gerard , Frank and Mikey along the way. Then you headed for your lodge to be the first one to shower as Dex stayed over to the scene to help Billy and Ames .

  This was already three months ago. You were now on a break of one week , back to your parents house in the suburbia of Leeds, in the county of West Yorkshire in Northern England . Since you couldn’t afford the rent of your apartment in London, while not living in it for most part of the year, anymore. The positive point in all this was that you got to live with your dog Matcha the rare times where you weren’t on tour.

During those last three months a lot of things changed . You, Billy, Dex, Mikey, Frank, Gerard and Ray became friends pretty fast. Even through you gotta to admit the fact that Ray being a goddamn Greek god at the guitar, and also with his amazing hair, was a tiny bit intimidating. Ames and Max were friends with the guys too but less close to them than Billy, Dex and you were. Ames because he had a short temperament and had trouble trusting people he didn’t knew, and Max just because he was overwhelmed with work all the time, you seriously doubted he even took full nights of good sleep , a nap maybe but nothing more .

 The shows were great too, the fans were shoving enthusiasm in your band and your music which was a good sign. Sometimes some of them even asked for autographs at the end of shows, you weren’t really used to it, but you guessed nobody ever was in the end. Ray was the closest you got to, he was very kind, smart and someone you just enjoyed spending time around, Frank, Mikey and Gerard too but a little less than Ray even if you would never say it out loud or you would never hear the end of it. You just were still a little bit intimidated by him where Ray seemed more approachable sometimes. Dex is pretty close to Mikey and Gerard from what you observed. 

Dex, you and your new friends we’re often sharing the same bus , most of the time the one of the guys while Billy , max and Ames stayed on your sleep , unless for sleeping . But with the shows and the adrenaline that came with it, most of the time you didn’t made it to your bunks until early in the morning. The memory of it was all it took to put a small smile on your lips . 

You were actually on the carpet floor of your bedroom playing guitar , just above a whisper coz’ your parents we’re asleep on the other side of the hallway . Matcha was watching you , her tongue out breathing loudly with a huge smile on her face, comfortably laying on her favorite xxl cushion by the side of your bed.

 On your velux Window, the drops of rain created a gentle rhythm . It was 3 in the morning , you didn’t arrived to find sleep that easily at home since your bedtime on tour was much different. You’d came back two days ago, since then something seemed to be giving you anxiety . You couldn’t remember when you felt it for the first time . Was it on the plane home ? Before or after ? You didn’t know but you felt like something was wrong and couldn’t seem to shake the feeling. 

You started to play some chords in a random order getting lost into your music . It remembered you those nights when Ray or Frank would mess around with their guitar while you were all talking to each other after a show. You always just stood there, staring more than participating in the conversation . You really admire the way they played and was listening quietly before someone would start talking to you as always. Sometimes , even if it was rarely , Gerard would play, in those moments you just stared completely bewitched by him. He didn’t play as well as Ray and Frank , but had his way around it. He looked so gentle each time he’d done it with an huge concentration, where Ray and Frank seemed more carefree. You stopped playing guitar lost in your thoughts, as you were remembering the scene. 

His dark locks just falling before his eyes and you just sitting in front of him watching him more than the guitar. Then he locked his eyes with yours catching you staring like he did every time you looked at him playing . You didn’t know how every time he just felt your eyes on him and caught you before you could turn your gaze away, making you blush a little bit because you didn’t want to seem like a creep . But he would usually just have a smug smirk on his lips before sitting his guitar and joining the conversation with everyone. Just remembering it, made you blush .

When you woke up the next day with Matcha laying on your side as always . Today was no different than yesterday you still had this underlying anxiety on the back of your mind, you sigh . You really had hope it will go away today. You  made a point to go out today, just to change that train of thoughts. 

You usually just tried to avoid going out because here, people knew you , not from being in a band no, people knew you from high school and you knew them from it. So you didn’t had that much success with people finding you likeable here for some reasons. Well maybe it was coz’ back in high school you were full of cynicism and people had a hard time understanding your humor or lack of it . Being a nerd who played D&D on Sunday’s didn’t help either. Add the fact that you were one of the only people in your school who had crazy hair colors and who always talked back to shitheads . 

But you kinda wanted to pay your friend Charlie a visit, it’s been a while since the two of you hang out . Charlie was one of your friends in high school who was in your D&D Sunday group, she is now on medical school, to be a doctor , which means you didn’t get a lot of news from her by text but tried to both do your best to keep each other updated on your lifes.

You got up unfortunately waking up Matcha along the way and made your way downstairs, soon followed by your golden retriever. Finding your box of cereals and making yourself a mug of coffee for breakfast. Before your mom entered the room already dressed , your dad worked from 8am to 6pm at the University of Leeds as a Philosophy teacher and your mom was working as an astronaut at the British Space Program and she was currently on break for several months before her next mission.

“Hello Y/N , you and I are going to the mall shopping for food in less than 15 minutes so go get dressed .

“Hi mom, can’t you go alone ? I’d planned on staying home this morning and going over to Charlie’s later .” You said pretty annoyed with your mother’s request.

“I could use the extra help , so got change yourself would you ?” She said before hurrying out of the kitchen not waiting for you to answer .

You finished your bowl of cereals and your coffee , quickly going upstairs to change.

You were waiting for your mom on your porch facing your street number. Younger the fact that you lived on the 666 of your street always made you laugh, it still does. You decided to take a quick picture of the number plate and put it on Instagram writing below it :”Never gets old” quickly pulling away your phone as you mom was locking up the front door and walked up to her car with you on her tracks.

Once inside your side of the Bentley on the left , while your mom was climbing on the driver seat on the right , your phone buzzed inside of your jeans . You pulled it out unlocking it , only to see the comment on your last post .

@Gerardway: “ seems perfect for a cult summoning!”

[whitehotharlots]

This is not going to be the end of MeToo

A dream is floating around the heads of Dirtbag Leftists. A beautiful, wonderful dream… A Biden nomination, and especially a Biden presidency, has shown the MeToo movement for what it really is: a collection of amoral careerists cynically, arbitrarily exploiting sexual assault claims to raise their own professional status and settle personal scores. The movement is ideologically bankrupt, monstrously hypocritical, and utterly unconcerned with helping vulnerable people. Everyone paying attention must now admit to this, and, once admitted to, the hags and scolds will no longer wield so much power, and will lose their ability to wreck actual leftist movements with specious accusations regarding finger wags and epigenetic trauma.

Oh lord, how lovely this would be.

Take this quote from Felix Biederman of Chapo Trap House, who says that a Biden presidency

would eviscerate the liberal media identity politics industrial complex. Because Biden-World has no use for those people. Like, Democrats just spent a week going “Don’t call it the Chinese virus.” Then Joe comes out there and he’s like “we’re gonna send them back, Jack.” [ . . . ] Someone was saying this entire primary was a referendum against Bernie and his ideas, (and depending on how much of a fucking loser you are [a referendum] on a podcast you don’t like). If that’s true, isn’t also true that this is a referendum on everything the liberal media has lectured everyone about since 2014? Doesn’t this prove that no one cares about that shit? Biden’s a complete refutation of all of that.

Biederman is one of the funniest and most astute political observers of our time. His observations here are correct from a moral standpoint. He is also correct from a “describing reality” standpoint. But he is not taking into account the degree that MeToo is and has always been propelled by cynical careerism.

The general consensus is that the arbitrary weaponization of MeToo is now so plainly obvious that anyone sharper than, say, Sady Doyle must recognize that and will have to account for it. For this to happen, however, we have to assume the MeToo’s purveyors are at all concerned with not coming across as amoral hypocrites. And let me tell you—I know a lot of these people, I have sat with them in classes, I have gone to their conferences, I am deeply immersed in their culture. They have no capacity for shame and even less for self-awareness. They don’t care if the entire world thinks them to be hypocrites—if anything, the scorn of outsiders only increases their self-certainty.

This has all been obvious since day one, and not just to cranks like myself. Call it the Law of Zero Tolerance: the more draconian a policy is, the more arbitrarily it’s going to be enforced. More conscientious writers are now insisting that MeToo has always been a humble call for authorities to be less skeptical toward sexual assault accusations, and for men on the whole to be more aware of how their behaviors can harm women. This is very reasonable-seeming. It’s also absolutely not how MeToo was handled. The hashtag was #BelieveWomen. It wasn’t #BeLessSkeptical. The formal line—stated explicitly, as clear as could be—is that men needed to be punished, that false or incorrect accusations were absolutely fine, that any and all allegations were abject and absolute proof of guilt, and that no matter how implausible or trivial or even physically impossible an accusation was, the accused always—always—deserved punishment.

Such a terrifying dynamic obviously could not be fully enforced—society would collapse. It has instead only gained traction in arenas that were already relatively equalitarian and liberal-minded: education, academe, media, and left-liberal politics. It was not intended to make these spaces more equitable; it was instead a means for women of gaining leverage within these spaces. That’s it. And because it’s always solely been an attempt to shift power dynamics, criticism has always been met with vicious resistance. As I’ve said: lots and lots of people have been aware of the movement’s cynicism since the beginning. Men and women have talked to me in private about it for over a half decade now. But they keep their mouths shut in public spaces because they realize that every neurotic shitty woman around them has now been gifted the power of the creepy kid from the old Twlight Zone episode who could wish bad people into the corn field. All they have to do is declare you a very bad man (or a very bad ally) and that’s it, your career is fucked.

No matter how mild, respectful, or thorough a person’s criticism may be, uttering a single word against MeToo renders one persona non grata within liberal spaces. Trust me, plenty of people have wanted to push back, but they kept their mouths shut because they valued their jobs. More people will want to push back now, probably, but the dynamic is still in place: shitheads have a new means of achieving power and prominence, and now that they’ve achieved success they have no reasons to suddenly start being decent.

Our society is designed to reward cynical liars. The less principles you have, the more shameless you are, the easier it is for you to succeed. The shitheads who have floated to the top of the MeToo heap are now even more insulated from scrutiny than they were before. And, trust me, none of them are going to give up a hint of power. They’re not gonna admit they were wrong or dishonest, that’s for damn sure. Instead, as the stakes have gotten higher and the landscape is growing even more austere, they’re going to double down. Bad faith will rule us all until the final collapse hits.

[lupienne]

A little history of how Negan joined The Whisperers in the comic//original story.

Brandon Rose was a rotten git from the Hilltop who liked to beat up younger kids and hit people in the head with bricks. When his white trash family goes to the Fair, Mommy Rose ends up being one of Alpha’s Head o’ Pikes victims. Daddy Morton Rose (and some other Alexandrians) are mad at Rick for not taking immediate action against Alpha. Rick knows about her hoard and the dangers of just going to fight her. One night he’s jumped by Morton Rose who wants to ‘scare him’. That’s until Rick rips off Morton’s hood and sees who it is, Morton then decides he has to kill Rick. Cue almost beating Rick to death and Rick managing to kill him in self defense.

A now orphaned Brandon is even more of a git and he hates everyone and wants everyone to DIE. He decides Negan must be the only one around who hates Rick as much as he does (he’s unaware of Negan’s HUGE MANCRUSH on PRICK) So he breaks him out and they sneak out amongst Maggie’s caravan that’s heading back to Hilltop. He gives Negan back his coat and a knife and they’re supposedly following Brandon’s plan: Go to the whisperers, tell them Rick is planning to ‘fight them’ and watch the ensuing slaughter as the two sides go to war. “Maybe somewhere in there,Negan will even get the chance to kill Rick”, Brandon says! Negan just gives this coy look like ‘mmmyeah gonna thrust it deeeeep into Rick’ but not indicating exactly what he’s thrusting.

Negan openly despises B.Rose and even states at one point how Brandon is so fucking annoying he’s just gonna have to kill him, ‘am I gonna have to kill you, Brandon?’ Brandon’s regretting that he let out this PYSCHOKILLAH but what are ya gonna do. When they reach the Whisperer border, Negan pretends to hug Brandon as he weeps over the poles that held people’s heads, including his mother. Instead, Negan just fucking shanks this shithead and walks off complaining how Brandon didn’t even bring a fucking sleeping bag. The setting sun and fall of dark also prompts him to yell ‘FUCK YOU, SUN.” The man is a gem but he needs serious psychological help.

So, he’s heading into Whisperer territory and becomes aware he’s not alone. He yells that he’s got a BIG FUCKING KNIFE and waves his kitchen knife around threateningly. It’s really scary so they’d better just come out. The Whisperers emerge and they have knives too which Negan thinks is ‘cool’. He’s then startled by Beta coming up behind him. He turns around and is fucking shocked by the size of this mother. Comic Beta is like 7 feet tall, guys. He’s a fucking monster. Negan likes to call him stupid  names like ‘Frowny McTwoKnives’ and ‘Softy McLimpDick’ .  He also says Beta’s a real softy, so soft he’s ‘gotta thumb that shit in’ which I had no clue what it meant at first but some people clued me in. Like your dick is too soft so you have to use your fingers to get it in the hole. Hahhaa omg why am I even typing this -

Anyway, the Whisperers want to slice and dice Negan, but he convinces them they’ve got no reason to fight him. He’s just passing through some shitty land that’s just like all the other shitty lands, but if they’ve got a good thing going, maybe he can join? He’s been alone for a while and it’s getting old. But if they fight him, he’s gonna at least kill and injure a few of them before they bring him down. Beta decides he’s got a point. He sends Negan back to the Whisperer camp with the others to meet Alpha. She’ll have the final word on whether Negan will live or die. (since he thinks Negan is a stranger and not affiliated with Rick’s group, he doesn’t get the automatic punishment of crossing the Head Pike border)

They bring an un-blindfolded Negan to the camp, who doesn’t shut the fuck up the whole way. Going on about how he needs a skin suit with an ample crotch for his thick dick and all this BS. Meanwhile the Whisperers completely ignore his ramblings. He sees Alpha and declares that he’s in LUV. (What will Rick say? :/)

Alpha grills Negan on why he’s there, while getting infuriated as he flirts with her in between questions. He says he was overthrown from his old group and he’s been wandering on the road ever since. She seems cynical about how this fucking idiot survived on his own. She asks if he wants revenge on his group and Negan says maybe, but it’s not the kind of thing discussed on a first date. Alpha tells him to quit being a fucking weirdo creep and he gets even more sexually explicit which is really hilarious but even more hilarious when she PUNCHES HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE. At this point, Beta returns. In his absence, he came across Michonne and Aaron who were out searching for Negan and they even say such. (’We only crossed your border to find this fugitive’)

Beta attacks Negan, throwing him into a tree and choking him, getting his knife ready to gut him. Alpha asks why and Beta tells her Negan lied, he’s not a stranger, he’s with Rick’s group and NOW HE MUST DIIIIIIE Alpha’s like NO, I might’ve punched him but there’s still a possibility of me wanting him to break his dick off inside me because he’s hot as fuck, so… yeah. Negan says he lied because Beta is scary and when he gets scared he pisses himself (in a manly way) and lies through his teeth. Yes, Comic Negan is a complete dweeb and strange as fuck but that’s why we love him. So yes, he lied but it wasn’t a deceitful lie. He does know Rick’s group but he was their prisoner and he just wanted to escape…he wants nothing to do with them. Alpha believes him, enough to give him a chance, anyway.

Beta isn’t happy and he mopes around. Alpha does the TV thing where she asks if Beta is challenging her position and Beta kneels to her in submission. Negan then kneels to her too and asks her to accept him in the group. She says ok and he says he’s got an erection from acting like a cuck. Oh boy. She takes his knife and from then on, Negan’s in trial Whisperer mode. He has to earn a skin suit and his knife back and he’s put to work helping the others. He feeds the horses, chops wood, hauls walker corpses and gets really excited when he shoots a pig with a bow n’ arrow (and Alpha scolds him for yelling). Alpha seems to be growing fond of him and Beta gets jealous….And that’s about where we are in the show…

[toongrrl-blog]

Part One of Barb Series: Why Barb Died (Character Device Talk)

*Please watch the Betty Draper Francis video first, for extra credit, check out the channel’s vid on Jack Dawson and come with knowledge of Beth March*

Happy end of the 2010s! Before I discuss what Barb could have brought to the Party in Stranger Things I need to discuss how as a character she needed to die.

1. Beth March

In one scene in Little Women, the girls and Laurie discuss their ambitions for adult life. Oldest sister Meg wants to marry and have kids, oldest middle sis Jo wants to become a known and successful writer, youngest sister Amy wants to become rich and famous as an artist and maybe a socialite, and middle child Beth wants things to stay the way they are for her, with her loving family at her side. What’s wrong with this? What the other three sisters have in common is that they are hoping for adult lives which include a lot of change, responsibility, independence (either as a career woman or running a household with little kids underfoot), new experiences, and even new people in their lives (Meg would need to meet a guy to marry and have kids with him, Jo would need to meet people in her professional life, Amy would entertain guests and appeal to patrons). Shy Beth is a talented pianist, vet, and doll collector and is very charitable but she doesn’t seem to want to take the risks it would take to grow as a person and thrive and mature or be noticed for her own merits aside from “Angel of the House” and the future looks pretty hostile; so by the end of the novel, Beth has died in her early 20s while sisters lives have changed (Meg married and had children in a cottage while gaining confidence as a homemaker, wife, and mom; Jo sells her writing and meets a professor who wants to start a school where she becomes headmistress after they marry; Amy goes on a Grand Tour of Europe and marries wealthy and happy).

The series Stranger Things, on a whole, is a coming-of-age series that borrows from the John Hughes and Steven Spielberg films of that era that captured the joys and pains of growing up, while Joyce’s and Hop’s storylines borrow from conspiracy thrillers around that era and somewhat from Hitchcock films. All these films captured ordinary people undergoing extraordinary (E.T., North By Northwest, The Goonies, The Stepford Wives) and life altering events (Jaws, The Breakfast Club, Silkwood) that force them to encounter challenges and make decisions they wouldn’t normally make in their mundane lives. Joyce ends up facing a monster with an axe and even makes demands of people who could wipe her off the Earth, the boys have to ride their bikes to evade murderous men in vans and hide a young traumatized girl, Nancy has to learn to create and use deadly weapons and use her skills of sneaking out for something besides sex, Jonathon has to cut his and another girl’s hand to lure a monster to their trap, Hop sneaks into a morgue just to slit a dead boy’s corpse and find cotton stuffing, Will has to use what knowledge and skills he has to survive another world filled with creatures out to kill him, most of the kids throughout the series have to lie and break laws to save their town. 

While the official guide does list Barb as being a varsity softball player and a mathlete and Shannon Purser concurs that Barb would have been the Velma of the group if she lived, there is one big thing that separates the Velmas from the Barbs and Beth’s of the world: Velma takes risks, she would trespass private looking property and dilapidated buildings to solve a mystery. Barb is a loyal friend and honest and studious and smart, but she’s ultimately the good girl archetype: cautious, obedient to her elders, predictable, conservatively and femininely dressed, chaste. An archetype that Nancy is trying to flee (not that the alternative of being a girl who sneaks out with her boyfriend to makeout is going to help Nancy at all) to avoid ending up like her mother. Barb has the fangs (talent and means) to be a Party member, she just lacks the nerve to jump and sink those fangs.

2. Commentary on the Patriarchy and the Tyranny of Beauty Standards

Most of the female characters in the series don’t fit the strict criteria of their Reagan era Indiana small town regarding what makes a good woman. Joyce is a single mother who doesn’t come with well-coiffed hair and she appears to be hysterical and is a working mother in a time and place where all these factors would label her a “bad mother”, Nancy is a frank young woman who takes risks and even asserts her sexuality and herself when plenty of people (like the shitheads at Hawkins Post) would prefer her to be a delicate virgin in pastels, El is physically stronger than the boys with her powers and she is very direct in her manner despite her soft-spoken demeanor, Max is a girl who is interested in arcade video games and skateboarding and brightly colored summer clothing and reads her Mom’s Cosmo cover to cover and is assertive, Erica is an assertive young girl who can talk truth (and shade) to adults and has a knowledge of My Little Pony and Cold War Politics, Robin is snarky and has a style that makes her stand out from most girls in Hawkins and is a teen genius, Kali’s rage and Joan Jett-esque appearance would make the preppy and pastel and autumnal tone wearing residents of Hawkins in Cardiac Care, Suzie has defied notions about girls in science and math and even the Mormon beliefs of her parents by french kissing and dating a non-Mormon boy like Dustin, and Karen despite her appearance of hot housewife perfection is dissatisfied with her marriage and comes close to cheating on her husband. 

In contrast Barb is pretty much the most conventional character: she dresses conservatively in ruffles and pink, she is seemingly chaste, follows the rules diligently and worries about getting punished by the Holland and Wheeler parents, and has a more common body type found in cis-gender women (correct me if I’m wrong, hopefully I don’t offend trans pear shaped women) and not often found in the older members of the female cast. But despite Barb’s body being common among women in general and specific to her region (the American Midwest is noted for starchy and creamy and fried foods and is historically farming country, where pioneers would find her strong for work in and out of the log cabin and give birth to the necessary amount of children i.e. extra hands for work), the delicate and slender builds of Joyce and Nancy, the classic proportionate and slender grace of Robin, and the leggy and toned image of Karen are closer to the female standard of beauty in the 1980s. In Barb’s lifetime (1967-1983), the image of beauty was dominated by leggy, toned, slim, busty women or lean women with minimal breasts: no room for tall, broad, pear shapes like herself. And in 1983, Molly Ringwald wasn’t yet a household name that freckled redheads with dry wit and atypical images could look on with pride. Hell I remember reading a copy of Color Me Beautiful where they recommend that women with heavy hips and small waists (similar features of Christina Hendricks and Shannon Purser) shouldn’t cinch their waistlines, the celebration of Marilyn Monroe pinups with round hips, pillowy thighs and tummies, rounded tushes were long gone by then. Basically Barb being her natural self, was not seen as “feminine enough” and combined with her glasses and style (any plus sized or early developing gal can tell you that it is hell to find junior styles that suit your body size and shape) have ruled her as “uncool”. 

There is also that Barb does a lot of things that the boys do: being slightly geeky, a loyal friend, has innocent and wholesome interests, chaste, and is quiet (like Will) but she still gets killed. One can sense that #JusticeForBarb came out of an anger with misogyny in media and society that tells women to be a certain way and punishes them whether they fit a mold or not. Women are still underpaid in the workplace, underrepresented in government, still deal with unequal and toxic relationships, are shamed for being virgins or for having sexual experience (Carol pokes fun at the idea of Barb finding the sex sounds too much and yet contributes to the slut shaming graffiti of Nancy), are told on one hand to look a certain way to attract the male gaze and shamed when they indulge in sexual desire (something Nancy can attest to with her glamorous mother who offers to lend her black heels and focuses on Nancy’s beauty before a funeral, the same mom who was angry her daughter had sex), they are either too fat/skinny/busty/flat/frizzy/straight haired/pale/slutty/prudish/dark/feminine/masculine/full-butt-ed/quiet/loud/naive/cynical/smart/dumb/angry/happy, and they deal with a media that sells a very narrow standard of beauty to the point that when they see a drop dead gorgeous actress or model with similar features they feel seen.

Oh Bondage, Up Yours!

*Read this is not a “Barb is a slut shamer!” piece yes that was shitty but she was a teen girl in a small 1980s town and she ISN’T starting a (paraphrasing Kimberly Nicole Foster quote) “no whores allowed campaign” OR trying to pass a law that demands women keep their ectopic pregnancies to full term*

3. End of Innocence

When Barb died, it marked the end of Nancy’s childhood and her needing to grow up. That was the night Nancy went straight from childhood (Barb), teenager (sex with Steve), and then shortly became an adult when she realized that Barb had disappeared. For many women (like myself at ages 9 and 10), the moment they get their period or grow breasts or reach a certain age, marks a dramatic end of their childhood. Suddenly many are told to police their behavior and language around boys, even policing the food they eat or their bodies. There is also extra responsibility and stress, demogorgans being one of them. Nancy is now having to deal with the sorts of issues that adult women dealt with on Mad Men along with scary monsters threatening her town and the fact her parents are not as happy as they look to the world, there is a gap between the experiences of her and Mike, she has a baby sister who probably was conceived to save the marriage, and Nancy can’t confide or trust either of her parents (who are absorbed with their own issues). Now Nancy is making big decisions that Barb, with the sheltering and seemingly close parents, will likely never deal with. Nancy is even taking fashion risks with clothes that are more functional, stylish, show off her figure, and can even withstand flayer blood and exorcising her boyfriend’s little brother.

4. A Huge Threat

Barb was intended to be a character that we connected with, someone to be built up somehow. There was a character like this in a movie: her name was Marion Crane. She was a secretary who has been supporting herself and her little sis since their parents died, patiently waiting for her boyfriend to make more money at his job so they can marry and stop sneaking around sleeping with one another, in desperation she steals a lot of money from her workplace, drives to California where she meets a mild-mannered but strange young man who manages a distant motel in the vicinity of a Victorian house where an older woman is croaking about promiscuity, after talking with him over a dinner of sandwiches in his taxidermy themed office, she goes to take a shower and has decided to return to Phoenix to return the money, then a strange figure comes with a large butcher knife in horribly out of date clothes and starts stabbing her to death.

This was from the Hitchcock film Psycho, the forerunner of the slasher genre that dominated the earlier half of the 1980s, and it premiered to shocked audiences in 1960. The meaning of the grisly murder of Marion, a character the audience was following from the beginning of the film, was that Norman Bates was a huge threat and intensified the need for Marion’s killer to be brought to justice.

The same thing can be said about the deaths of Benny and Barb, to show how much a threat the demogorgan and Hawkins National Lab were to the townspeople of Hawkins (and the world as a whole), basically such big threats that a little boy can be kidnapped from the safety of his home, a young teenage girl could be snatched up and killed from a suburban swimming pool, and a kindly cook and owner of a local diner would be executed for knowing about a runaway child. 

5. The future of Women in Stranger Things

Not all is lost, Barb’s death forced the Duffer Bros to take a look at how women were written and treated in their series, and even helped spurred tv viewers (who ordinarily wouldn’t pay attention to social issues) to take a deeper look and interest in how people especially women are treated. For some reason I like to think: Max, Robin, Erica, and Suzie are a way of recognizing Barb’s potential within the series and even what viewers saw. 

Now stay tuned to where I figure out how Barb could have been beneficial to the party.