#he really have an angry old man energy in this :D

[occudo]

Martin: Alright, that's enough! You made your point! Put down the pepper. Jon: Not until it stops tasting like cardboard. Martin: Since when do you care about spices this much? You used to ate statements! It's not that bad. Jon: … Martin: Wha- Jon! Don't tell me the horrors tasted better than my cooking! Jon: I-I didn't said it.

For doodle request: maybe jmart cooking or eating something together?

Or Honey with a cat or dog

Jon: It needs some spice!

Martin: You've already added enough. Are you trying to kill me!?!

Jon: I'm trying to add some culture to your palette!

------

[ID: A drawing of Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood from The Magnus Archives. Jon is a short skinny brown man with scars all across his skin and grey hair. Martin is a fat white man with curly orange hair, faded white in spots, and acne on his face.

Martin, scared, blocks Jon from getting close to a pot on the stove. Jon angrily holds a red pepper shaker in his hand, hoping to add it to the meal Martin has so lovingly prepared for them. \End ID]

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hey, I saw your requests open, and I had a thought. What would the bachelors/Bachelorettes do if they saw Farmer trying to sneak in a love potion/powder (not drugs, just something from the wizard) into their drinks? I don't know much about all of them so I can't really imagine what they would do. Also, if they would punish the Farmer (not nsfw), what punishment would it be?

Oooo, drama :D Sure thing, dear anon! Enjoy some headcanons 🫰💕

(PS: My requests are currently closed for now. I'll open it again soon!)

_________________________________________

SDV bachelors/ettes react to the Farmer trying to sneak in a love potion/powder

Bachelors:

Hey, what's that Farmer doing there- What the heck!? Sam's kind of a prankster himself, but this is out of line, and putting some stuff in his Joja Coke wasn't cool on Farmer's part. It's not "love powder," it's clearly some kind of laxative or something. Not cool at all, man. The young guitarist will stop hanging out with them for a while and honestly announce to the others why he and Farmer are avoiding each other. But if they apologise and don't do that again, Sammy will forgive them. Probably.

Shane with a distinct "are you fucking for real?" emotion on his face sizzled Farmer with his stare. He may have understood their weirdness before, but this is one he doesn't understand and doesn't want to. So the chicken man just takes them by the collar and kicks them the heck out of Marnie's Ranch. No, he ain't gonna listen to their excuses and their 'mad love' for him or whatever other bullshit they got going on. Farmer is forbidden to be around him or Marnie and Jas, or else physical violence will be involved.

Outrageous! This is just... unacceptable! Such disrespect and disregard for his persona! Elliott considered them a decent friend, but Farmer decided to stab him in the back by putting an unknown substance in his wine! And these excuses... Love powder? It's- were they trying to slip him an aphrodisiac?! No, Elliott won't stand for that. Out of his house, now! Begone, he said! Before he starts shouting at them more! The written is definitely gonna have to rethink his opinion of Farmer.

"I hope it was cinnamon in my coffee." Harvey already knows it's far from cinnamon, but he was curious as to what excuse the Farmer would come up with. Actually, no need to bother, the doctor doesn't want to hear anything. What he does want now is for Farmer to leave the clinic and to close the door behind them. At their pleading words that they love him, Harvey raised an eyebrow sceptically. Love is built on mutual understanding and trust, not this. From now on, they would only have a patient-doctor relationship, nothing more.

What kind of sick joke is this? What the hell did the farmer slip Alex? What... energy tonic? Pfffff, yeah! Stop lying to him. He saw them pour the strange liquid into the bottle. And now the athlete is demanding an explanation. Really, "love potion"? Very funny. Alex isn't three years old enough to believe in magic and stuff. He tells the Farmer to get out of his face, cos with his muscles he's sure to win the fight. He doesn't even want to look in their direction.

And the day was starting out so well for Sebastian.... Just when he thought he was going to have a good time and play videogames with his friend, Farmer, they slip some kind of drug into his mug. He's not even angry, just... disappointed. Sebby will just stare at them in silence until Farmer finally leave his basement. Then he'll shut the door (so he doesn't have to explain to his mum and the others) and text Sam and Abby that hanging out with Farmer won't happen and they also should be careful. Wow, what a day, huh...

Bachelorettes:

Leah would be in a pure rage, and Farmer could count themself lucky if the artist hit them in the face with just her fist. Because if she had sculpting tools or anything else sharp or heavy around her, Farmer would be in a hospital for a long time. Leah genuinely thought they were her friend, but they ended up being another creep, and the ginger girl would stay away from them as much as possible. There can be no talk of any love. Moreover, she is unlikely to ever consider them a friend again. The trust is broken.

A cold shoulder from Maru. Why the heck did the Farmer decide that this behaviour was ok!? Slipping her some psychotropic substance (she believes in science, so the phrase "magic powder" is tantamount to naming a drug or poison to her) in her coffee cup while she was busy with her flasks in the lab? Maru advises them to leave, for if she calls her mom and dad now, things will get much worse. She may accept their sincere apology in the future, but for now Maru wants to be alone, away from all this drama.

Abigail will be shouting at them at the top of her voice about what the heck and what the fuck! Are the passing residents now looking at them? That's right! Let everyone know what Farmer just wants to do. And she's not going to stop at Pelican Town alone, oh no. So if Farmer is active in social media, the amethyst lover will soon mention them in her post-calling about them and that they can't be trusted. It's not very mature response from Abby, but she's too angry to think twice. Love??? Fuck you, Farmer!

L- love powder? Emily can't believe her own ears. Friendship and love are supposed to be pure and true feelings, trust and respect for each other. Was their friendship not enough? Couldn't they understand the joy in sharing and not just taking everything for themselves? Emily is very disappointed in the Farmer. She will just start ignoring them and seek spiritual healing in meditation. She hopes the Farmer will apologise sincerely and realise their mistakes, but she will be very careful with them for now.

Now Penny is afraid of Farmer, because... what if this isn't the first time? Maybe they've slipped her something before, since Farmer was so sure of what they're doing, thinking the young teacher wouldn't notice them. But the spirits were not on Farmer's side and Penny saw it all. Now the poor girl is tormented by paranoia and fear of them. No need to try to chase her and apologise or she'll panic and call her mum. And Farmer certainly won't want to deal with Pam.

Farmer couldn't imagine Haley being capable of so morally destroying someone, but here we are. "Love potion", huh? So they want to "speed up" the lovemaking process? Now she'd show them the consequences of their stupid action. In addition to scratches from her fresh manicure, Farmer will get a huge public condemnation from all the bachelors and bachelorettes. So that inadvertently no one (especially her sister) falls into this trap. Oh, and she'll pour that potion over Farmer's head. Loser...

[abnomi]

WANTED TO MAKE A POST FOR SONGS I ASSOCIATE WITH TURBO AND WHY!

small disclaimer; a lot of these are themed after pre-roadblasters Turbo for the grimy grunginess that the little parasite emits, but they can work for any version of turbo really! (I LOVE KING CANDY AND KING CANDYBUG A LOT im just drawn to uncanny disgusting men. i have a type apparently)🐛🐛🐛

my turbo spotify playlist yueyewaagghhh

starting off light with a high energy instrumental song :-D RED AND GOLD IS IN THE NAME. LIKE TURBOS MAIN COLOR🏎️ AND TROPHIES AND KINGLINESS 🏆,👑. COME ON!!!!

this song sounds a lot like it would be in a lighthearted racing game, which is exactly where he originated! playful and silly having fun time driving (He did not kill many people!) as a whole its very upbeat and matches Turbo's constant movement i think!

the quieter segment in the middle of the song sounds quite King Candy esque with its more subtle chords....scheming...how devious. it sounds almost royal! Perhaps this is the "gold" they were speaking of in the title, with the rest of the song being "red".....

even the synths align with him in some way, as the electronic sounds can be correlated with coding and video games !!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!

i initially associated this song with Ace from the powerpuff girls, but upon further inspection, i feel like the lyrics align much more with Turbo's character...... "Mess with me, and boy, you're surely gonna die!" and "I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere," ARE SOOOO HIM BROO....

more lyrics that strongly parallel his personality are "I am the plan; I am the man; who tells you what and when you can; I'm the old one that torments you; I am the voice that tells you to..." ARE U SERIOUS THIS SOUNDS LIKE STUFF HE'D ACTUALLY SAY.

also this song is about the american GOVERNMENT being CORRUPT... need i say any more (KING CANDY IS A CORRUPT POLITICIAN)

i heavily associate Primus with Turbo in general because of the heavy bass sounding kind of like a motor and the high energy of the songs being twisted into something more deviant because of how heavy and dark the instruments are. It just makes sooo much sense for his character... EVIL CAR ADHD 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Hoohhh..... ok just replace Mary the ice cube with the players Turbo latches onto so hard, and it sounds like hes grieving the loss of them after the Roadblasters incident. maybe his trophies or winning status could be a stand-in for said ice cubes the song speaks of...

its twisted and sad and angry all at once which i think is exactly how Turbo would mourn. blaming the "ice cube" for slipping away from HIM instead of the other way around, being that he's the one who drove it all away, growing more and more bitter........acidic even

"Nothing ever lasts forever," seems like a mindset he'd carry for most of his life, being why hes so intensely adamant on keeping everything to himself to preserve it for as long as he can. his possessive nature is a cover-up for his fear of it all collapsing on him and leaving him with nothing. he keeps everything close and everyone far 😢...

"It's been declared that it's not wise to prize something too much," sounds to me a lot like a narrator explaining the moral of the story, and in Turbo's case, it fits him as well as a matching puzzle piece. he relied on adoration so heavily that he lost himself.

ok hehehe this one's a little more self explanatory... HE DRIVES A RACE CAR!!!! and he DOES "[drive] so goddamn fast!"

THE DISCORDANCY OF THE NOTES AND THEN THE CRAZY ASS RIFF IN THE MIDDLE IS SO SO GOOD.!!!!!!! matches Turbos energy incredibly well :-D also side note; i love the chop top cameo from tcm2 heehehehee check out Cornbugs if you like Primus and tcm :-3

another little tidbit is the line "stuck in his craw that they made him retire," (stuck in his craw means to be made resentful about something) which i think underscores how deeply indignant Turbo is about the entire Roadblasters ordeal.

"They call me Mr. Knowitall, I will not compromise! I will not be told what to do, I shall not step aside!" this REEEKS of ego and defiance. which is very in character for Turbo!!!!!

this entire song is about this asshole who brags about himself so incessantly to such a degree that it makes him look ridiculous. as intelligent as he is, he is not as much of an admirable figure as he tries to make himself seem, which is made horrendously clear.

there are contradictory lyrics here and there that demonstrate hypocrisy and outright lying, stating things like "I am so eloquent! Perfection is my middle name, and whatever rhymes with eloquent..." when the word eloquent is defined by having a high level of literacy, and "they call me Mr. Knowitall" versus "I MUST be Mr. Knowitall." the way he refers to himself changes throughout the song

ok tehehee i cant lie i mainly associate this song with him because the bass sounds like an engine revving up.

the lyrics are pretty similar to turbos internal struggles though!! "Can't touch the image" and the frequent repetition of the word "nothing" make plenty of sense for who he is. what he wants is unreachable, leaving him hollow; he wants to be untouchable.

this song is really fucking funny its just about some guy talking about how evil and fucked up he is... imagine Jack being Felix or something and it all makes sense. bragging and bragging about how abhorrent he is, the man rambles on about how he kills people and refuses to change.

"I don't mind living without a heart; I like fucking people over for a fucking start" is the intro... like its soooo turbo 🤩🤩🤩 Yessssdss

I FUCKING LOVE MELTED BODIES YO!!!!!!

ANGER AND ANXIETY run RAMPANT in this song which is relevant as ever to Turbo... he cant feel fear without a boiling rage simmering within and thus having a need to defend himself and do whatever it takes to keep himself safe and happy!

"W-I-N-N-E-R!"

THE END OF THE SONG IS LITERALLY TURBO... JUST LOOK AT THIS: "WHY CAN'T I FEEL WHAT IT IS THEY FEEL?; WHY CAN'T I BE WHAT THEY WANT ME TO BE?" "I HAVE AN ITCH THAT CAN'T BE ITCHED; I'VE GOT A SCRATCH THAT CAN'T BE SCRATCHED" his envy of others ability to be effortlessly fulfilled (maybe felix), an inability to be satisfied, not understanding why he isnt "good enough" for the players and wanting to be what they want him to be, etc etc etc....

TURBO INSECURITY BATTLE . DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT HIM?

BUG ALERT 🪰🪰🪰🪰🪰 BUG ALERT 🪰🪰🪰🪰🪰

Yea this one is less personal to who he is individually and more so related to his transformation into the big scary insectoid creature he turns into later on but still!!

According to genius lyrics (😰), this song is from the perspective of "a fly personified as a wandering, self-indulgent drifter." connecting the dots with Turbo.... Yea.....Thats him

This is a stretch but one part of the lyrics sounds like theyre saying "red and white" and thats not what they Actually said but u know... a guy can dream

"How's it feel to get away, You got what you want; It only cost everything, but you got what you want; There isn't anybody left, so face yourself all alone; The truth is sour going down, You reap what you've sown" THIS ENTIRE SEGMENT AAUAGYHHHHHGHHHH. TURBO LOST EVERYTHING AND REAPED WHAT HE HAD SOWN MULTIPLE TIMES...HE REALLY DID... HE DID THAT.

the general chord progression is so chaotic and fast, it feels like going downhill and then back up again which is a lot like how Turbo is in general. all or nothing .. black and white moods with no in between

thats all for now, maybe ill add more in the future we will see :-] let me know ur thoughts..... What do u think.....

[film-score-simp]

OKAY FOOLS HOW YALL DOING IM BACK AFTER BEING DEAD FOR LIKE MONTHS-

See, I had a Thought which the Merlin fandom might be interested in. Especially the fanfic writers.

I was browsing Pinterest, as you do, and stumbled across a few tumblr posts instead of actually looking on the site… again, as you do.

And I came to a fun idea.

So y’know how with some pieces of fantasy media they go ‘oh with the amount of stupidity here this is totally a D&D game’?

Well… that, but Merlin.

Like we already have scenes that would totally fit the bill of a D&D game. The whole scene with old Merlin and the knights with the stepping stool onto the horse is just so unbelievably D&D, and I can imagine the scene with the “..reading poetry.” as just real bad persuasion/deception rolls from both Merlin AND Arthur.

Just imagine the chaos.

Here are my personal headcanons for their classes, but feel free to debate about it:

Merlin: Sorcerer. This man is too much of an idiot to be a wizard (though he DOES get hurt enough to be one), and I reckon being a wild magic sorcerer would totally fit the bill. He’s powerful, but hijinks must ensue- thus, the wild magic. Or perhaps not. People might assume it’s wild magic and turns out it’s just Merlin thinking he’s funny.

Arthur: Bard. Immediately. He’s got paladin energy as in like the ‘Chosen One’ and also he’s a knight, but he’s so stupid and also charismatic that he just gives bard to me. Like he’s so stupid and charismatic with literally everything, that Merlin ended up liking him. Like this man is a himbo that dresses brightly.

Morgana: Absolutely a warlock. She would have so much fun with eldritch blast, and being weird and spooky totally fits her vibe later in the series. She would probably be the one to sometimes have the braincell in the party and use her magic responsibly… but also eldritch blast. You gotta use eldritch blast-

Mordred: I don’t think he has chill enough vibes for the druid stereotype, but he definitely could be a druid. Giving funky nature powers to this kid would really be a hilarious idea. Like imagine Mordred with wild shape. I also think he has the possibility of being the Dionysus kind of druid… y’know, the greek god who turned people into dolphins just because? Yeah, him.

Gwaine: Barbarian. Or fighter. He may be a knight, sure, but with the amount of bar brawls he gets into? Absolutely. The fool definitely would fist fight someone in a dark alleyway at 2AM, it’s just what he’s like. He likes to hit people and drink alcohol- it just fits his whole MO.

Percival: Also a barbarian. His entire thing is strength, and the ‘little man’ comment just screams of a man with high intimidation. He may be a gentle giant and not going for the whole stereotype of angry rage beast, but this guy can totally scare without it.

Lancelot: Lancelot is a paladin. He’s the very epitome of ‘Good Boy.’ This guy is such a Righteous knight and just a generally cool person that I think that a god straight up WOULD get in contact to have him fight for the forces of good. I love this man so much. I also love paladins. Perfect combo.

Elyan: Elyan’s a cleric. He’s caring and loyal, as well as not bullying Merlin regularly. He’s also pretty cunning so possibly rogue there as well? I’d be more inclined to lean towards cleric the most though, cause he’s one of the most chill knights and also balances out the chaos of Gwaine and Percival as a duo… they’re nuts-

Leon: Also a paladin. Less of a ‘pure and true soul’ guy like Lancelot, but more of a ‘stands for what’s right and upholds the law’ kind of paladin. Like he’s totally a follower of chivalry with all the traditional ways of doing things- always respectful and polite but just kinda a little at arms length.

Guinevere: Stereotypical druid. Totally a tree-hugger and loves plants. Also she gets to be a Disney princess now and talk to animals in forests. Living out her best life in the forest with her whole cottagecore aesthetic. Even with her becoming queen, she’s totally still a druid. Albeit a royal one now.

Gaius: Oh he’s so gonna be an artificer. But specifically an alchemist artificer. He can make healing potions and mix weird medicines together, sure, but jesus christ the old man gets into just as many shenanigans as the main group. I mean, the whole possession fiasco with the goblin is enough proof for that-

(And before anyone tells me a character’s missing, it’s been a while since I watched the series, I’m trying my best hhhh-)

[valleyfthdolls]

Drabble request: basically the missing kids + golden duo(cc and Cass). All forget their memories and names, so they go by their animatronic names, and act like the animatronic personalities.

(also cc and Cass)( are regarded as one person, even though they are separate, so like Fred or Goldie)

"Chica."

The little girl tilts her head. It's jerky, robotic. Years ago, she used to have a looser neck, she thinks. She glances.

The child awaiting her is blurry, its visage shifting, warping and distorting like it can't make up its mind. Through the monstrous yellow body, she can make out black, curly hair tied into pigtails. It stares blankly at her. Dressed in a ripped, baggy golden shirt with puff sleeves adorned with the dirtiest purple bow tie and vest she's ever seen, it stands with purpose, and oh. Goldie is acting like itself again. Chica swivels, turns around and faces it. Its image is blurry in her pretty blue eyes, shining a fuchsia hue under the stage lights. Its voice is whispery, but determined. Angry. Goldie is mad again, she thinks.

Trying her best not to upset it by noticing the difference, Chica smiles, and the skin of her cheeks crinkles and stretches painfully. She clasps her hands together.

"Goldie! Good to see ya got your wits about ya again, dear," She coos hollowly, her throat hurting with every word she speaks. She thinks there was something there once. Something cold, something metal. She swallows. It burns. Goldie scowls.

"Someone is here."

Chica's smile drops.

She doesn't like intruders. Not one bit. Not after they took her away from wherever she was supposed to have come from- the factory they made her body in, the pizzeria that used to be here.

"D- do Freddy n' the others know?" She whispers. Foxy won't like this, not one bit. Oh, and poor Freddy- the sweet little thing never got over his fear of the dark, and he'll be so upset knowing they've got someone lurking in the shadows. It doesn't help him to know that they're the monsters under the bed.

"Fredbear told them already," It rasps, pointing to its blue eye and tap-tap-tapping. "They're angry. They're real angry."

"Is that so?" Her voice rises, fearful. Goldie- Fredbear- either or, really- is angry. It always is. But it carries an air of seriousness- of barely masked fear and a desperation for self defense. Her eyes ask a silent question, a beg for an explanation that goes unseen and unregarded. Is it that man?

There's a man that Chica knows. The man, maybe, who took her from the factory, the pizzeria she was made in, stretched her skin and cut her neck and made her body rigid. All Chica knows is that because of that man, the world is no longer safe if it ever was.

"You know him," Goldie hisses. Chica's hinges are slow, awkward. When her head moves to face Goldie again, it's not looking at her, or any of the other children. It seems to be looking at itself. It nods carefully, and shaggy brown hair falls into its face. "I know him."

"Goldie? What's goin' on?"

"Shut up." Goldie's red eye briefly glances up at Chica as it brushes back a black curl that's slipped loose from its pigtails after years without brushing or washing. "You know him, Fredbear. Who is he?"

Chica steps back, not wanting to anger Goldie. Everyone is angry. Everyone is so angry all the time. The anger burning in Chica's little body is enough to make her want to burst. It scares her. It physically makes her sick with revulsion, and if she ever had a stomach she would throw it all up in the bathroom and it would come out tasting like old pizza. She wipes her mouth, almost preemptively. Her servo motors whir, air pressure valves clicking with the jerky movement.

"I will not let him touch us. Do you hear me, Fredbear? I will fucking kill him." Too young to be saying such nasty things. Chica frowns. Did it ever have parents? Did its creators ever scold it for its language? "Tell me. If it's not him, who is he?"

Suddenly drained of energy, Goldie looks down the hallway, a brown curl falling over its face. Its blue eye stares wistfully. Chica clasps her hands together again, preparing to try to butter it up so that no one else has to do anything that will make anyone more upset and no one has to make her any more afraid. Her cheeks ache as she prepares to smile.

"...I know him," It repeats.

(Drabble requests are open! Check pinned.)

(If you want a more specific situation that might focus on other characters, lmk and I can try to whip something else up for you too!)

[weareallgonnaliveforawhile]

your swap au is really cool!!!! I am rotating them in my mind like a microwave :] I have some questions about it, if thats okay :D (you don't have to answer ofc), will elq lose his memories while with the federation like canon qq did? how does the watcher react to qq rather than elq? what is the islanders relationship with qq - do they wind up liking him more than elq as they do in canon or do they just want their friend back?

I'm curious to see how the quackities' relationships with the federation play out; they don't seem to have the same role within the Fed, swap!qq feels more like an attempt at a permanent replacement than elq does..

(sorry for any errors or if i sound odd, it is quite late where I am ^-^)

No problem! I'm honestly just surprised that someone likes my au.

El does lose his memory but him with Amnesia is very different from Canon! Quackity with amnesia. While canon!Quackity was like a lost child, El was more like a feral cat. His amnesia was kept more of a secret because his friends knew how much he kept to himself. Those who didn't immediately find him once he was back only found out because they directly stumbled upon him and figured it out before someone could whisk the man away.

It's odd. To see someone who once was so full of energy and anger who once argued with you over nothing, look at you with nothing but fear and distrust.

-

The watcher and Quackity have a weird relationship. Quackity treats him oddly, like an old friend sometimes and a begrudging ally at others. Sometimes the Watchers requests are responded to casually but with excitement, and sometimes they're responded to with the same formalness that you'd reserve for your boss...

-

Oh my god, I love this last question. They fucking hate Quackity. Some are more tolerant of him than others like Etoiles who can't bring himself to hate someone who shares the face of one of his closest friends. But the others? Especially Cellbit and Roier? They want his head on a pike.

Quackity smiles more than El Quackity did. He grins and giggles and jokes in ways that aren't morbid and don't somehow threaten multiple children. They still hate him. His friendliness is a slap in the face more than anything else. They did not resent ElQ for his personality or behavior, far from it, they loved him because of it.

There is a happier copy of their friend. Their amazing paranoid friend who once stole Phil's door because he was angry at him. They don't want a copy, a cheap imitation of their friend, they want their friend back.

Guapoduo and Bad hate him the most. El was extremely close with Cellbit and Roier, and neither man could stand being around Quackity for long without a buffer. Bad and El had a...weird relationship that was mutually antagonistic and positive (Think Landduo but with a bit more murder attempts). Bad nearly took Quackity's head off his shoulders with his claws alone the first time he saw him.

They don't want Quackity's smiles which split his face with how hard he's smiling, they want ElQuackity's smiles which are small and wobbly from how hard he always tries to hide them. They hate Quackity's laughter which is loud with his head tipped back because they love ElQ's quiet laughter with his head tipped forward.

It gets worse when they figure out that Quackity is definitely in league with the Federation, but there was no possibility of love from the start. How could they love such a poor imitation when they knew the real thing?

----

For the last bit, I'm so happy that you caught that. You're absolutely right that they don't hold the same role, Quackity is a bit more... versatile than Canon!ElQ so he has a fairly different (but somewhat) similar role.

Thank you soooooo much for asking! I love questions so much.

[dryams03]

▶ Aғᴛᴇʀ Fɪᴠᴇ

Iᥒ ᥲ ᥙᥒιvᥱrsᥱ rᥙᥣᥱd bყ fιvᥱ grᥱᥲt gods, ᥲ ᥙᥒιvᥱrsᥱ of ιᥒfιᥒιtᥱ ρossιbιᥣιtιᥱs ᥕhᥱrᥱ ᥱvᥱrყ ᥴrᥱᥲtᥙrᥱ ᥴᥲᥒ ᥣιvᥱ ιᥒ ρᥱᥲᥴᥱ oᥒ ᥲᥒყ ρᥣᥲᥒᥱt of ιt. Iᥒ thιs bᥱᥲᥙtιfᥙᥣ ρᥣᥲᥴᥱ ᥲ Dᥱmι-god ιs borᥒ, ᥕho, movᥱd bყ hιs grᥱᥱd ᥲᥒd hᥙᥒgᥱr of ρoᥕᥱr, brιᥒgs ᥴᥲos, dᥱstrᥙᥴtιoᥒ ᥲᥒd ᥕᥲrs

▷ Iɴᴅᴇx

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Publishing on Wattpad Prologue — 1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — etc.

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▷Pʀᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ

It all starts with a little 7 years old angel of black wings, white beautiful eyes and a black hair that reaches the middle of his back. This boy is called Evil.

The little one comes out of a big wooden house, excited, finding an arid and frightening place, in an infinite night with no moon or stars, a place full of dead trees and graves. But this kid doesn't seem scared or confused at all. On the contrary, he smiled kindly and sighed quietly as he looked around, apparently looking for someone or something.

—Father? Can you come? —After he said that, a dark smoke appeared forming a humanoid figure. It was over 6 feet tall, wearing a long black coat and a hood on its head, holding a huge scythe and its face was covered by a skeleton mask.

—Good morning Evil. —Said the mysterious man with a strong and deep voice.

—Good morning father! Sorry for calling you so suddenly.

—Don't worry, in fact today I want to talk to you about something important.

—What is it, father?

—You are old enough to learn how to use your power, and today I'll start to teach you -Then, the man walks away from the little angel -Firts, I'm going to explain something important to you.

The boy sits on the ground —I'm listening, father!

—There is a special energy that travels through all the existence, connecting everything what you see and everything what you can feel, it is called Aura. —A snake shaped smoke began to swing over the man's shoulders —You are my son, inside of you there is the power to control the Aura, you have the ability to control reality.

The kid put his hand on his own chest with a sad expression on his face —It sounds dangerous

—It is, Evil. Aura can be a tool or a weapon, it depends on how you use it. For example, your wings, when you learn to control the aura in your own body you'll be able to fly.

—Oh! Really? That was what I wanted to ask you! —His expression became more excited —Oh, by the way, father

—Yes?

—You are always talking about it and I wanted to ask. What exactly is the universe?

—Mmm. Well, the existence is like a tree. The trunk is the Universe, a place full of life, and where everything is possible and the branches are the different extensions of it, like this one where we live. For example all those flying beings that you see everyday, they are souls, they were once beings like you and me, but their life came to an end and it is my job to hunt them and bring them their new destiny.

—A place where everything is possible? —He stayed completely quiet for a few seconds —Does it mean that I can have a mother? Can you take me--

—No —answered with an angry voice even before the boy could finish his question —Now prepare yourself for a hard training, I am going to make you a God

Who would say that this little angel had to live with this coldness? What kind of dimension was that? Day after day was the same, almost transparent beings passing through the walls, the cries that were heard in the distance, the mirages and the fact that the graves were never in the same place. What kind of training Evil was going to receive? The way in which the man spoke to his own son was a sign of something even more mysterious. That deep feeling of fear and terror dominated the poor boy's heart many times after that day just by looking at his father. The pain started to grow inside him, slowly killing his fear and turning it into hatred.

[blot-squisher]

SFW alphabet with frank?

SFW Alphabet Ask Meme for Surviving the Game Legion ~ Frank

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Unless you're part of the Legion, he's not. To Joey and Susie, he's at least nice. He'll listen to them if they need to talk, and try to take their advice to heart when they offer it. For Julie, it's more physical. Holding her, kissing her, and being physical with her. All of them get nicknames, but only the Legion get to use them.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Frank is cocky and confident. If he sees something he likes, he's going for it. He'll strike up a conversation, usually with a story to try and impress you. Once you're in though, he'll push you to try things you may not have ever considered before...

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Psh, cuddling is for babies... But... yeah, maybe cuddling would be kind of nice. Especially if your hair is soft and smells good, he'll rest his chin on top of your head, keeping your ear against his chest so you can hear his heart beating.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Settle down?! What is he? A thirty year old?! This man's version of 'cooking' is pouring milk directly into the bag of cereal. As for cleaning? Eh, as long as he can't smell it from across the room it's clean. Right?

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Ghosted biiiitch.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Frank is wholly committed to Julie and the Legion. Marriage though? Nah, fuck that government mandated bullshit. He doesn't need a piece of paper to tell the world Julie is his girl.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) He's got the emotional range of a teaspoon. Maybe half a teaspoon. He really doesn't care if he upsets people. Usually he finds it kind of funny. Speaking with his fists has always been easier and it's a habit he has yet to break.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Unless you've got boobs *giggles like an idiot* that he kinda wants to feel against his chest be prepared for a quick side hug. Otherwise, he's just not a hugger.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) LEGION! Oh, wait, wrong word. Frank isn't used to loving people or being loved. Julie was the first person he said it too and it didn't actually take all that long. Although he loves Susie and Joey too, he doesn't say it as often and it's generally much more platonic.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Did you just look at Julie? Hope you enjoyed having eyes fucker, because he's going to stab them out with a pencil!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss their partner? Where do they like to be kissed?) Lips, neck, and *giggles again* a few other places.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Ew. Learn how to balance you bobble headed crotch-goblin.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Either sleeping in after a long night of mayhem, or going out to cause mayhem. Maybe steal some energy drinks to get the day off to a good start.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) CHAOS! Or possibly chilling around a camp fire with some beers he lifted.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Frank is pretty closed off with anyone outside the Legion. Letting people know too much about you is dangerous...

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) He's always angry. It's part of his charm...

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about their partner? Do they remember every little detail they mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) He'll pretend he doesn't remember a damn thing you've told him, but then turn around and shock you with a nearly perfect recollection of the things he knows you like.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in their relationship?) Being confident enough to tell Julie he loved her for the first time. He'd never said it before, but he knew he meant it.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect their partner? How would they like to be protected?) Frank will act tough, pretending he's not scared even though on the inside he feels like a little kid again. He'll fight a losing battle to keep his family safe. He doesn't like it when the others actively put themselves in harms way for him, but deep down, it means a lot that they care that much about him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) For the Legion? He'll make it the grandest of displays. For anyone else? Here's a half eaten poptart he found in the couch. Hope you like it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Boy smokes like a chimney. It's probably a good thing the Entity took him before he could rot his lungs out.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) He's not overly vain, but he does think he looks good. Might change his hair color if he's feeling moody though.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their partner?) He'd be lost without the Legion and he's not afraid to admit it.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Frank enjoyed the Trials at first, finally getting to live out his long held fantasies of killing without the risk of retribution. After a couple of years however, he got bored of killing the same people in the same places in the same ways over and over again.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Don't boss him around or try and tell him what to do. If you try to manipulate him and he catches on, he's going to pay you back with his fists.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Sleep is for the weak! Staying up late and waking up when he wakes up. Generally keeps to a decent schedule, but leans heavily into nighttime activity.

[etherealskeletons]

i have no idea what my cousin sees in peter hes such a fucking asshole all the time theres not a single day that goes by where he istn a fucking dick. hes extremely terrible to my dad and he gets nasty and catty with me and my cousin is like “well idk whats wrong with him lol” and white knights him so HARD. shes always giving excuses and theyre so flimsy, its always “your dad reminds him of his oldest son, and peter gets cranky/stressed out when hes near his kids or ex wife, he has a lot of trauma yknow:((” like??? that doesnt make it okay to be super nasty to everyone else. im full of fucking trauma but im not putting everyone else down and being an energy vampire. i cant imagine being so fucking toxic to literally everyone around me bc i cant get over that my ex wife was abusive to me, i cant imagine essentially becoming my ex wife and terrorizing everyone else the same way i was. but this man does, he does it almost all the fucking time. hes even terrible to his CURRENT WIFE, MY COUSIN. like??? wha t the fuck do you see in himm???? girl im gonna throw you down the stairs i hate this!!!!! i hate how stupid youre getting i hate that you allow yourself to be treated like this what happenED!!!!!! i hate how he treats everyone and how she lets him get away with it, i hate living here its so tense all the fucking time hes always so angry and upset

i hate my uncle i had to go to the house today, hes finally losing my childhood home. hes getting kicked out and the house its going to be renovated for someone else. its hard bc on one hand im glad its gonna get a makeover and will be in better hands bc currently it looks like a crack house bc my uncle is a shitty person who hangs out with skeevy people. going there was so fucking hard it just looks like shit i hate it i hated going there i hated seeing the house get WORSE.. i thought about taking pictures of the place but whats the point i dont wanna remember the hosue looking like this i dont wanna remember it like this at all it looks so awful i jus stood there and i couldnt stop shaking it was so intense being there. we ended up leaving early bc it was too much for both me and my dad but peter had a huge fuckign meltdown over it and HE WASNT EVEN THERE?? he cussed him out over facebook and demanded we go back bc you cant abandon family even though my cousin literally didnt ASK US to help or anything and she felt the exact same way we did??? she aws gonna dip super early after getting some plates like we did he really made a big deal out of fucking nothing it was so stupid??? we ewnt back and i GUESS its good that we did and that she also stuck around bc there was a few good things that came out of it. i have some of my grandmothers jewelry that she never wore, her old kitchenaid, and i found my grandfathers wedding ring (finding that and his glasses made me cry ouffh) but go d i cant go back to that house i just cant its too fucking much its terrible i hate it i hate it i dont care if peter gets mad and tells me how terrible i am i just cant handle it

i hate that my uncle screws ebveryone over i hate hearing from one of the roommates that hes gonna be living in his car bc my uncle screwed him out of his money for his methhead on again off again girlfriend, i hate that my uncle always plays victim and shoves blame on everyone else and bleeds everything dry and ruins everything. he does this all the time i ahte it i hate him i hate that hes been doing this for my entire life, possibly longer, and always gets away with it. he l;ooks awful too i just know hes using i know it and i feel sorry for him but god he caused so much pain and upset in this family i cant help but feel so much anger. (but i tried being an ‘”adult’’” i was being civil and nice. being around peter made me realize i cant BE like that i cant hold grudges and lash out bc someone reminds me of my fucking mom or my ex girlfriend. NOT LIKE I EVER DID BUT LIKE.... just being around that made me realize i cant keep holding onto everything, i HAVE to move on and let go. its over its so fucking over dude you cant keep living likethat its so unhealthy and it literally makes everyone miserable)

but i still hate this fucking.. white trash ass red wing fucking family, i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate that i feel stuck i hate that i spend most of my days rotting and nights crying because everything is too overstimulating and too much

[just-a-sleepy-idiot]

BEING HIS ROOMATE WAS GOOD! What do you think the roomate!riddler would do if he found you maybe one day snooping around his things?

Thank you! <33 And we really gotta know what hes gonna do with the tape huh ;D

Dano!Riddler Imagine: Roommate!Reader snooping around his stuff

Content/Warnings: Yandere behavior, Fluffy but also scary Edward, I would say kidnapping but you already live there so idk, Restraints, Gender neutral Reader

When you moved into this flat you found yourself to be living with a quite interesting man. He was introverted and soft spoken but there were also many things that stood out about him, like his habit of integrating riddles into his way of conversing with people. He just naturally intwined them into his language like he didn’t have to think twice about it.

And the Riddles were also ever present at home- but you most often stumbled upon them on little notes that he had started to leave out for you to solve. Edward was a forensic analyst you learned, and it explained quite a few of the things that he was working on this old desk in the living room. You weren’t sure what he was crafting there, you could only determine a labyrinth amongst them.

A labyrinth you believed to recognize in one of the horrifying clips that were shown most recently on the news. You tried to distance yourself from the thought, from the familiar looking eyes and glasses you recognized in that masked face.

You swallowed thickly as you replayed the clip on your computer- the green eyes that you knew looking so calm and attentive were now filled with brisk madness. Could that truly be him? The man who smiled to himself when you announced that you found his riddle for you, the man who stood there quietly contemplating and observing you when you sat by the dinner table trying not to cry.

Eventually he had cautiously approached you, scribbling down something as he stood next to you and then sliding over the paper with a riddle on it. You stared at it for a few moments, not sure if you had the energy for that kind of thing right now. He looked from the paper to you and back and begun to black out some of the symbols, wordlessly encouraging you to do the same. At some point you quietly picked up the pen and worked alongside him, pulling your legs up on the chair.

Sometimes your gaze trailed off to him beside you, and he would catch your eyes for a moment before quickly looking down again. When you blackened out the last symbols you saw that it revealed a little picture of a rabbit. A small smile played around your lips and you chuckled softly- so he tried to comfort you..

The man you knew was so different from what you saw there, but there were too many clues to ignore it. It was no use, how could you quench your anxiety if you didn’t go after the growing suspicion??

So you waited until you were sure he would leave for a while longer and sneaked into his room. It was dark, and newspaper sites paved his walls. You let your gaze roam over them and it looked like they all had an angry focus on the founding families of Gotham. But soon your eyes were fixated on something else, you had turned around to see what was on his table and there you saw some horrifying machinery. Crafts which use could not be covered by his profession anymore- and carved into the wood below was the infamous symbol.

You gasped with horror, feeling the terror creeping up on you as it fully dawned on you. He.. really was the Riddler! He was this murderer, this terrorist who was after the big people in Gotham. Your chest rose and sunk quickly in fear as you now approached his closet- you wanted final proof, you wanted to see the mask.

„Are you looking for this?“

The mask now hung there right in front of you and you backed up in shock, right into the man who was holding in in front of you. You jumped and squealed, instinctively trying to run away but his arms wrapped around you quickly and pulled you back into his chest again.

His lips were close to your ear as he looked around trying to think of what to do with you now before you had an opportunity to break free- „You really shouldn’t have done this..“

Your heard his breath quicken as he tried to contain you and it tickled your ear- you squirmed and squealed so desperately it was almost lovely.

But your efforts were getting a bit too much, so he heaved you on the bed with all his strength and was quick to catch your wrists do pin you down as you instantly tried to jump up again. He was towering over you as his knee rested on the bed, and strands of his hair fell into his face.

You could now see what he was wearing, see the same dark green attire with the question mark from the video! His hair was disheveled from wearing the mask before, and he hastily put on his glasses on again. Edward looked around with a dark huff and reached away with his free hand to grab the duct tape- his eyes landed on you again as he got the end with his teeth and stretched it out with the other hand.

He hurried to now put the tape around your wrists as you struggled against him, heaving his other leg on the bed and over you to straddle you so you couldn’t turn around as he concentrated on your wrists. „Stay still!“ He growled increasingly frustrated with you.

When he was finished he exhaled audibly and slammed his hands next to your head on the bed, hovering over you with a clenched jaw.

„That’s not how it was supposed to be, no.. no that wasn’t part of my plan! But now I have no other choice but to keep you to myself until I’m through with them you see??“

Your breath was shaking and you swallowed thickly, a tear ran down your cheek. „Are you going to hurt me?“

He eyed you for a few seconds like he still wasn’t sure, as he was thinking his gaze mindlessly trailed over your body before he shook his head.

"That depends.. if you can behave now. Will you behave for me?"

- - -

If you liked this and want more of this character comment or send an ask

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Gojo Satoru general headcanons

Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.

Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.

He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.

All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.

Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong. 

This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.

That doesn't mean he did the work tho

Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work

Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him

A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone

Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman

Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because

He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further 

He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.

Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop

Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay

He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys

He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight

It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?

He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically

He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it

He has really cold hands and feet

He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o

He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o

It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry

Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"

He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face

He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair

He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts

No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses

His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month

They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses

Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on

Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind

Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle. 

He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know

He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.

So about his driver's license;

He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.

Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets

It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad

This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though

He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-

Gojo has a key

You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did 

Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious

He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess

The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.

He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror

Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes

Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck

He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.

Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru

Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.

He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed 

He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-

It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out. 

Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.

He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral

Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in

Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it

Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it

Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine

Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"

I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there

As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco

He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever

He will literally just stare at you and giggle

It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why

Its because he respects women

He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.

The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one 

He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art" 

When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.

He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.

Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess

He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on 

He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored

This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored

He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power

I canon him as being borderline sadistic

This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated

White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.

He is Sakata Gintoki

He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og

He's hella bilingual

Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine 

He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan

Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months

Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week

Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality

Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.

Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn

[lostysworld]

My dar(k)ling – The Darkling x reader

Part 1

Masterlist

Pairing: The Darkling x reader

Warnings: none in this chapter

Summary: You are a witch of old, who General Kirigan brings to the Little Palace to your greatest displeasure after his another attempt to find Morozova's stag. Despite your murderous behavior you are trying to find your place in the Palace's life. And maybe in the Darkling's heart.

Chapter summary: The first chapter, when you meet Genya Safin, and decide, that maybe it's not that bad in the Little Palace.

A/N: I don't now, actually, if should go on with this work, but I hope you'll like it, guys :D

For almost a week you spent in this carriage, that should deliver you to the Little Palace along with the general. The only thing you didn't know, is what for. For being a royal lap dog?

– Don't make that face.

You switch your grim gaze on the man on the opposite seat, who looks much more content than you. After six days of being watched constantly by him and his guard, you lost this feeling of privacy and security, that you was gathering while living alone in the forest hut.

– Maybe you want to leave me here and continue without seeing that face, general.

You are acting quite bold, giving that you are not grisha, which means, he's not your general.

– Gladly. You smell like a horse, - you roll your eyes.

– I wonder why?

The man switches his glance on you, smirking silently. Whatever rude you tell him, he seems to enjoy this short interactions. For the whole time you literally didn't say a word to him before this moment.

Kirigan sighs and leans towards you slightly, that makes you press into the back of carriage.

– Listen, Y/N. If you want it or not, but you'll be safer in the Palace amongst others. And tomorrow you will be called before the king.

– What for? - the anger slowly starts to overhelm. – I am no use for you in the war. You'd better leave me be.

– I just want every grisha to be safe in the one place.

– I'm not a grisha, - you slowly scan his smirking face. – Actually, I am much more better.

– Than it will be awful to abandon your talents then.

Abandon. Unbelievable. You spent fifty years living in the forest all alone, and everything you had is practicing your powers.

– Besides, - the man speaks again. – I know one person in the Palace who can make you more presentable.

His smirk starts slowly driving you mad. Your ancestors were powerful ageless witches, and now you are trapped in a box with a man who seems to have a God complex. And if everyone around you is charmed by him, you are definitely not.

You look behind the curtain and see the gates of the palace becoming closer.

– And you look good for fifty years of-

– Fifty six, - you cut him off, watching this interested sparkle in his eyes. – I can say the same about you, general.

His smirk drops and he clenches his jaw.

– What do you mean?

There is no way you can know the truth about him. You playfully wave your hand.

– You know, rumours...

– Rumours? In the woods? - he arches a brow in angry tension.

And then the carriage stops, and the next moment Ivan, one of Kirigan's heartrenders opens the door for them.

You shrug your shoulders, observing the man's body slowly relaxes. He makes his way out of the carriage, extending his hand for you.

This gesture is ignored, as you step on the ground finally. And now you see the Palace.

– It looks...nice.

– Nice?

The general arches his brows in surprise. Not that he wants to impress you, but after a lonely ruined hut, the palace should be a kind of miracle for you. The building is enormous, and the facade is really amazing, but you'll never admit it out loud to him.

– You should see the Grand Palace then, - you cast a glance toward Kirigan.

– I'm sure, it's nice too.

Giving up a short laughter, he finally leads you to the entrance.

Your room is huge, just...huge. After that tiny place you were living in, it feels like too much space for you only.

You can't get to the bed, when a group of people comes in. Well, too much people for you here as well.

– Saints, you look horrible!

It is a young woman with fiery auburn hair, who is hovering above you and scanning with curious glance. The way she looks mesmerizes you, as you can't take off the glance from her face.

Several girls in white uniform stand right behind her.

– But not as horrible, as I expected.

– Oh, thank you. Is everyone so polite here as well?

You raise a brow at her, seeing her eyes narrowing. It is strange for you, but her glance makes you feel secure. Like she knows everything and her confidence slowly switches on you.

– Genya Safin. I am a tailor, - the girl cocks her head, looking at your clothes.

– Y/N Y/L/N. I am not.

The girl in front of her chuckles.

– I've heard. You are not a grisha, right?

– Is that the thing, that everyone is discussing now?

Genya waves her hand at the nearest girl, and murmurs something to her, dismissing others.

After a moment you two are alone in the room. Without a word Genya starts unbraiding your long hair, when accidentally stops, that draws your attention.

– What's this? - her abashed voice makes her nervous.

– What?

– Your hair is...scorched.

Your hair is thick naturally, but their length is uneven and tips are thin and whitish.

You greet your teeth, turning back from her.

– Don't pay attention, just do what you wanted, - the girl comes out of your back standing directy in front of you. From the expression on her face you realize, she won't stop asking.

– What happened with your hair?

– Oh, and for as long as it's not my life, you're interested? - you chucke lightly, but she's still staring. – What? I am a wicked witch. Am I not supposed to have, I don't know...dark secrets?

Your sarcasm doesn't stop her.

– A forest witch.

– Excuse me? - you look at her in surprise, when a girl in white appears once again, carrying the clothes. After that she leaves them again.

– A forest witch. They call you like this.

God. You just want to come back home without a crowd of people, rumours and other magical stuff. Not your magical stuff.

– Perfect. Just perfect.

Genya smiles at you and heads to the bed, where several costumes lay. When the young woman shows you a white kefta, you slightly wince.

Decades of living alone didn't make you wild, moody or sacractic, but actually social awkward and your sarcasm is most of defense.

You know Genya wants you to look perfect, but the kefta seems so tight and uncomfortable, unlike clothes, that you used to wear.

– Maybe it's just pants and a shirt? - you look at her in slight hope, that the girl will agree.

– Maybe you'll listen to me, Y/N.

Your groan makes her smile, and then you smile back. You feel her. There is no light energy around this girl, but it feels like one. Genya is so natural and soft, that you instantly like her. Well, you at least have a company now.

Not to mention General Kirigan.

You slightly wince at the memories of him. Unlike Genya, he has something strange inside. He was the one, who could be mentioned, when you told about dark secrets.

– What about General Kirigan?

These words slip so easily from you, that you can't get to hold them back. Genya only turns to you, casting an interested look.

– What about him?

– Tell me something.

That time with him didn't tell you much about the man, as he kept himself closed from anyone.

– He brought you here against your will? - Genya makes herself busy with your hair. You try to shake your head and not to distract her.

– He was looking for Morozova's stag, which is hardly can be found in the place, where I lived, - the memories slowly show up in front of youe inner sight. – I was alone, and really didn't care much.

– Did he know, you were not a grisha?

– He didn't, but he learned. As soon as I told him, he offered me to go with him. To the place, where I would be safe, - you hesitate for a second, and a smirk lights up your face. – Not that I was in strong need of rescuing.

The woman smirks and comes back to the costumes.

– Kirigan is better, that he may seem, Y/N. That's for sure, - you turn your gaze to the window, when Genya touches your shoulder. – How about this?

You see a white long dress with golden embroidery, that is surely not a comfortable one, giving that you used to wear pants.

Genya just can't hold her laughter back, seeing you hiding your face in the palms, moaning.

[lucemferto]

I wrote that Wilbur scene I talked about yesterday. I don't know if I captured any of the characters' voices, but I tried. It's around 1,800 words.

Sorry to spoil the surprise, but this scene has a twist!

„I’m not joining you.“

Wilbur’s eyes grew narrow. His cold gaze lingered on Tommy’s face. The boy’s expression was resolute; unwavering.

But there was this slight twitch in the left corner of his mouth. Just the faintest quiver in his lips. A weakness to be exploited.

“This burger van …” Tommy hesitated “… it’s just history repeating itself. It will end with us hurting people again …”

“’With us hurting people’?” Wilbur raised an eyebrow.

As he stepped closer, all the determination that Tommy had projected seemed to vanish in the blink of an eye. Wilbur gave him a wide smile – a thinly-veiled threat behind the appearance of affability.

“Tommy, we never hurt anyone! L’Manburg was a grand old time, Tommy, don’t you remember? Me as president; you as—”

“Maybe it wasn’t, Wilbur.”

Wilbur’s smile faltered. A glower displaced his once outwardly cheery disposition.

“You’re not making sense.”

“I’m not making sense?!” Tommy raised his voice, a blustering anger flaring up and painting over the insecurities that had been so apparent just moments before. “The presidency killed you, Wilbur! And it almost killed Tubbo! I can’t let that—”

“Tubbo?!” A hoarse laugh escaped Wilbur’s throat; more like the angry bellowing of a rabid dog. “Why the fuck should we care about Tubbo?! He betrayed us, Tommy!”

“T-That’s not true!”

Wilbur stepped closer; Tommy took a step back – but the walls of the van were already pressed up against his back. The older man was towering over him, casting him in shadow. A wild and manic energy was glinting in his eyes, bloodshot and red like sundown soon giving way to a dark night.

“He fucking teamed with the enemy, Tommy! What else would you call that?!”

“He still cares—”

Wilbur’s hand shot forward. Like the maw of an angry serpent, it closed itself around Tommy’s throat. All colour drained from the boy’s face – his complexion like that of a corpse.

“Don’t you fucking get it, Tommy?!” Little droplets of spittle rained on Tommy’s skin as Wilbur’s face inched ever closer to his. “Tubbo doesn’t care; he never cared! You were just a fucking tool to him, Tommy! Someone he could use and throw away once you were no longer useful!”

Wilbur’s dirty fingernails burrowed themselves into Tommy’s neck – soon trails of red were trickling down into the boy’s shirt.

“I’m the only who cares, Tommy! I’m the only one who ever cared about you!”

“Wilbur! Y-you’re hurting me!”

“Shut the fuck up, Tommy! I don’t ca—”

“STOP!”

The scene halted; as though time had frozen. A figure emerged from the darkness of the burger van.

It was Wilbur.

Though he and the Wilbur currently choking Tommy looked almost identical upon first glance, there were some striking differences: Gleaming red eyes contrasted against tired brown ones; demonic intensity against a dull exhaustion. The first Wilbur seemed almost unnaturally tall and imposing as he towered over Tommy; the second Wilbur carried himself smaller, more guarded.

“I d-don’t …” For a moment the voice of the second Wilbur seemed to falter; but soon he snapped back to a more confident bearing; all insecurity obscured behind a steadfast façade. “No more!”

A deafening silence fell upon the van. Then, slowly, as though unattached from his neck, Tommy’s head turned to Wilbur. Brilliant blue gave way to a searing crimson; fear to a wide, sharp-teethed grin.

“Whaaaat? You don’t enjoy the little play I put on just for you? And I thought you’d be impressed with all the cool ghost shit I can do now.”

With a sickening ratch, two horns ripped through Tommy’s temples. Shadow swallowed his blond locks, transforming them into dark, slicked back hair. Murky, unkempt facial hair sprout from his skin as his once lively complexion grew grey and translucent. Smokey tendrils enshrouded the red and white T-Shirt, before it emerged as a black business suit, the bloodred tie serving as the only blotch of colour.

The ghost of Schlatt had appeared before Wilbur.

“Guess it hit a little too close to home, huh?”

Wilbur’s eyes narrowed. While the illusionary Tommy had disappeared upon Glatt’s arrival, the facsimile of himself was still standing there. Frozen in eternal wrath.

Wilbur’s mouth grew thin. “I wouldn’t do that to Tommy. I would never hurt him.”

Feigned shock contorted Glatt’s mouth into a darkly comical expression. “That’s not what he told me.”

Wilbur felt something icy sting in his chest “What?”

Glatt nodded. “Yeah, it was the strangest thing. I was in my gym doing reps, snorting creatine, you know how it goes, when suddenly I hear some … some whining.”

Wilbur immediately took notice. He knew what Glatt was talking about. The lump in his throat felt like it would soon suffocate him.

Glatt didn’t seem to notice.

“The sound of some low-T beta just letting it all out. And when I go take a look, who else should I find but—"

“Tommy …”

“Don’t interrupt me. Anyway, when I turn the corner, I see this real pathetic mess just sitting on the floor, sobbing. I told him to shut the fuck up, because he was throwing me off my game. But he just wouldn’t stop, so good guy that I am – you remember how great I am with kids!”

“You never were.”

“Oh no, I was! That Tubbo-kid, he had it good in Manberg.”

Wilbur flinched – whether it was because of the bastardized name of the country he had once loved and loathed or because Glatt’s words woke some memories in him that he’d soon rather forget; he did not know.

“You had him executed.”

Glatt nodded, a wistful smile curling his ashen lips. “Good times, good times. Anyway, the little ghost-brat … he tells me his name is Gommy.”

Glatt let out a harsh, bellowing laugh. Wilbur could not share his amusement. He had almost forgotten how much he hated Schlatt’s sneering.

The ghost still had not managed to fully compose himself. “Gommy, that’s such a dumb name! Gommy … you wanna know what a good name is?”

“Is it—?”

“GLATT!”

The sound came out like a bile-filled belch. Wilbur closed his eyes in exasperation; his fingers massaging the bridge of his nose.

“I figured … Does this story have a point or are you just here to waste my time?”

Glatt frowned. “What, am I not good enough company for you?”

“Not even in the slightest.”

For the first time in their conversation, Glatt’s face grew more serious. His red stare tore into Wilbur; almost drilled into his mind. Wilbur answered the ghost’s stare with what he hoped was a cold, unreadable expression.

But he knew that in Schlatt’s presence, there were no masks to wear. No intent to hide. That ram was the only man that could strip him bare.

Finally, Wilbur had to break eye contact. With a sound of exasperation, he spat out: “Get to the point!”

“‘Get to the point’” The false Wilbur moved his lips, but it was Glatt’s mocking voice that emerged from behind them. “Man, I liked it more when you were a little ghost bitch. You used to come to my gym actually; did some reps. Annoying accent, but damn, what a cute ass.”

Wilbur’s jaw tensed. He had enough of this.

“I’m leaving.”

With a few long strides he had reached the exit of the van. The cold, fresh night air was beckoning him; away from the smell of cigarettes and alcohol.

Then that obnoxious voice called after him again: “Yeah, that’s probably for the best. Ghost-boy didn’t have the nicest things to say about you …”

Wilbur froze. His hand was on the door handle, ready to release him from this dark, stuffy room. It would be so easy to just leave; to rid himself of this headache. He did not need to stay.

“… You’re lying.”

A wide grin stretched Glatt’s thin lips – Wilbur couldn’t see it; but he could hear it in that tone of his.

“I’m the one who’s lying? No, no, no, I’m merely recounting what 'Gommy' told me.”

Wilbur turned around. Glatt’s smug smirk was even more unbearable than he had imagined.

“You know, after he was done bawling his eyes out and blubbering like a little bitch –“

Glatt’s face shifted into warped replica of Tommy’s – big shimmering eyes and a little doll like mouth quivering with exaggerated sorrow: “‘D-D-Dweam, D-Dweam, h-h-he’— Anyway, he told me that while my cabinet was having a grand old time over in Manberg, you were being very mean to him.”

Wilbur shook his head. “I-I’ve changed. I apologized!”

Tommy-Glatt let out another bellowing laugh. It cut through Wilbur like a knife through a paper door.

“You think an apology could make this better!”

Wilbur jumped back. The fake Wilbur began to move once more. With a thundering roar, his fist made contact with the fake Tommy’s temple. A loud thud; Tommy impacted with the floor of the van. But before he could get up, the fake Wilbur began kicking him in the stomach; screaming obscenities and curses.

It wasn’t Wilbur’s voice – it was so clearly Glatt’s poor imitation of his accent. With each kick, Glatt-Tommy’s eyes bulged out of his skull; not like a person, but like a grotesque cartoon. It was a farcical display.

But Wilbur – the real Wilbur – was paralyzed. His mind was clouded with memories and nightmares; fears bloated and distorted by thirteen years of isolation

“That’s not … that’s not what happened!”

Schlatt’s piercing, high-pitched cackling erupted out of Tommy’s mouth once more.

“Boy, Limbo really did a number on you!”

With a jump Glatt-Tommy was up on his feet again – his nose bloody and broken, his skin coloured black and blue; his hateful grin revealing multiple missing teeth.

“Not that you were all that together beforehand – ‘Tommy, let’s be the bad guys!’ ‘No, Wilbur don’t blow up Manberg. If you blow up Manberg, I’m gonna piss my pants—’ ‘Shut up, Tommy!’”

“I never hit him!” Wilbur’s panicked exclamation interrupted the smear show. “I never hit him!”

Glatt-Tommy shook his head; the satisfied grin not leaving his face. “That’s not what he told me! And what’s worse, when that green guy – Dream, I think his name was? – while he was using Tommy as his own personal punching bag, your ghost was off in the woods jerking off or something. And now you're calling Dream your hero!”

Wilbur felt as all colour drained from his face. The van around him began to spin; darkness and alcohol and cigarette smoke choking even the last ounce of the outside air he could smell.

“I-I …”

Slowly the façade of Tommy began to melt once more. Slowly, deliberately. A nightmarish display. Glatt’s and Tommy’s voices spoke in unison; their echo a cacophony in Wilbur’s ears.

“Face it, loverboy. You will always be a bad guy. No number of apologies will change that. He will never forgive you.”

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[chenziee]

Cool your back.

I have a very cute LawLu prompt

Where Law is still a pirate some how becomes (little doses he know)the Fiance of the Goda kingdom's Cat God of freedom named Luffy(much to the world nobles dismay) and all of the high jinx that come along with it. And Luffy keeps popping up whenever Law doesn't/needs him. Good thing he's cute.

Thank youuu! Glad to be back :D though still super slow I’m sorry

I might have taken some liberties there with Luffy but I hope you like it! :)

----------

A Divine ball of fluff

[Read on AO3 | Request info | Ko-fi]

Law startled awake at the sound of gunfire and cannons somewhere above his head. Stepping over the lamp on the floor, he only briefly wondered just how it had managed to fall from his nightstand before he forced himself to focus. He only grabbed Kikoku, then ran out of his room to join his crew on deck, ready to murder whoever had come to disturb his sorely needed nap.

“Hand over Luffy and I might just let you go alive, Trafalgar Law!”

With the angry shout being the first thing Law had heard upon opening the door leading to the Tang’s deck, Law could only groan. Not again. “I keep telling you, old man—” Law slammed the door shut behind himself maybe more aggressively than strictly necessary before quickly striding over to the side of the ship to glare at Vice Admiral Garp—  “none of this was my choice! And your stupid grandson isn’t even here!”  

“Uhm, about that, Captain…” Bepo trailed off, quiet and apologetic.

Law took in a sharp breath, closing his eyes momentarily and praying for patience. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Sorry,” Bepo mumbled, dropping his head as if it was somehow his fault their regular ‘guest’ had invited himself over without any warning again.

Shaking his head, Law slowly looked at Garp again. The old man was fuming and not for the first time, Law marveled at the stubbornness of this entire family. No matter how many times he said ‘no’ to either one of them, they just kept coming back like a bad rash. Sometimes, Law couldn’t believe neither of the three brothers or their grandfather were related by blood. Hell, one of them wasn’t even human. But well… when it came down to it, Law couldn’t say he cared.

“Fine, take him,” he said finally, smirking at the loud crash from behind him that immediately followed.

“Torao~” someone whined before arms wrapped around Law’s waist

On reflex, one of Law’s legs shot forward as he braced for the impact of the entire body crashing into him a split second later. Why, just why did this man insist on lunging at people constantly? Law would never understand. He was lucky Law had managed to train his reactions well enough by now to not face plant into the railing anymore. “What?” he asked, smirk still shamelessly in place as he turned to look at the person who was hanging off of him.

The person—or rather, the god—in question was staring back at him with an unhappy frown and a pout on his lips. Law hated to admit he looked outright adorable then, and not just because of the cat ears sitting proudly on top of his head, alert and facing forward in agitation. Ears which were also covered in black, incredibly soft fur that Law would never get tired of petting.

Giving Law something that was probably supposed to be a glare, Luffy finally huffed before continuing, voice sounding incredibly sulky, “How could you just sell me out to gramps like this?”

“Because he could absolute keep you on his ship even if he did take you.      Sure,” Law replied in a tone dripping in sacrasm while he rolled his eyes at the dramatic complaints of the literal embodiement of freedom, the person who could and absolutely did materialize out of nowhere on the Polar Tang whenever he fucking felt like it, without any warning, for the sole purpose of driving Law absolutely crazy with his ideas, only to then disappear into thin air again once he got bored. While on the open sea, with the nearest land two days of sailing away.

“That’s not the point!” Luffy cried, his grip on Law’s waist tightening.

Before Law could say anything back, a canon ball landed a bit too close to the ship, causing a wave of seawater to wash over the both of them. Law cursed loudly at the unexpected and fully unwelcome shower, just as Luffy also hissed loudly; if he was in his full monster cat form, Law could just imagine his fur raising until he looked like a huge, black ball of pure fluff.

…Now Law wanted to see it. He made a mental note to find an opportunity to scare the shit out of him at some point later, when he was in his true form.

“What was that for?!” Luffy demanded when he recovered from the shock.

“A warning shot!” Garp retorted, sounding just as angry as Luffy did. “You get off that pirate ship before I drag you off myself!”

“I’m not going back to Goa! It’s stuffy and tiny and they keep burning down my shrines, I hate it there!”

Garp growled as he grabbed another cannon ball. “As if I care about the idiot king’s orders, I’m not going to give you to those scumbags and I don’t care where you go—” he paused to aim his cannon ball at them threateningly before he continued— “but you’re not becoming a pirate on my watch, you brat!”

Law heard Luffy taking a deep breath behind him, no doubt in preparation to go off on his adoptive grandfather, and he sighed. Before either of these idiots could say anything, Law snapped, “If you’re just going to keep screaming at each other, can I go?”

“No,” Luffy said immediately, digging his claws into Law’s stomach painfully.

At the same time, Garp said, “You stay right where you are, I’m not done with you either!”

Law sighed. Every goddamn time.

“Prepare to submerge,” Law said to Bepo tiredly before raising his hand. “Room. Shambles.”

Appearing back in his room a split second later, Law took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to appreciate the blessed silence—or the alternative of, which meant only muffled rage instead of people screaming right in his ear. Not ideal but he would take it anyway. Honestly, why couldn’t these two ever do anything quietly? This whole thing could be so easily resolved if they had just sat down and talked but no, they just had to go yelling at each other while throwing cannon balls and scratching the other’s face off. And Law never had a say in getting caught in the middle of it every damn time either.

Sometimes, he cursed the day the Tang landed on Dawn Island, the place where all his problems started. But really, he couldn’t with clear conscience say that if he were to relive that day, that he wouldn’t do exactly the same thing; that he wouldn’t stop at the tiny, ancient looking shrine to talk to the young man sitting in front of it. That he wouldn’t answer every question Luffy had about the world beyond his small domain, that he wouldn’t look into those large, excited eyes and invite him to leave with him.

But, as stupid as it was regardless, if he could do it over, at the very least, would now actually know he was accidentally proposing to a literal god; one that was incredibly stuborn, selfish, and bright enough to be the actual sun. A god who also came in a package with a crazy grandfather, two over protective brothers, and the softest, warmest fur Law had ever had the pleasure of touching.

“Thanks for getting me away,” Luffy said after he made himself comfortable on Law’s bed, the anger and raw power that had been radiating off of him only moments ago replaced by his usual happy and carefree attitude.

Law clicked his tongue. “I was getting myself away. Not my fault you were clinging to me like a child.”

“Same thing.” Luffy waved him off.

Law didn’t have the energy to argue. Simply shaking his head at him, he instead bent down to put the lamp he had ignored earlier back on his nightstand.

“Weird how this was on the floor. I distinctly remember it was screwed on tight just yesterday,” Law noted, giving Luffy a pointed stare. Now that he knew this giant, ridiculously strong cat was on the ship, Law had no doubt just how the lamp got knocked off. Briefly, Law wondered whether there was even a point putting it back until Luffy left; he was probably going to knock it off again while staring at it with morbid fascination as it crashed to the floor again and again.

Law watched as Luffy’s eyes veered off to the side, his lips pursing as he mumbled, “Yeah, that’s super weird.”

Huffing out a small laugh, Law crossed the short distance between them, reaching out to ruffle Luffy’s hair. It was almost as soft as his fur was. “I know. A complete mystery,” he said with a smirk before he leaned down, pressing his lips to Luffy’s briefly.

The kiss was easily returned, a wide grin spreading on Luffy’s lips as soon as they separated, and despite himself, Law felt himself smile back. That damn smile would be the death of him. No matter how maddening this man could be, how loud and selfish, the moment he smiled like that, it was like all Law’s problems and frustrations were melting away. Luffy was simply beautiful; adorable and bright, yet absolutely terrifying and Law loved every little bit of it.

It was funny, actually. If someone had told him he would ever say ‘Luffy’ and ‘love’ in the same sentence just half a year ago, Law would have laughed in their face. Back then, Luffy was only some incredibly annoying giant cat who just wouldn’t leave him alone, someone who popped up on the Tang or wherever Law currently was just to ruin any and all of his painstakingly created plans. But now…

Now Law couldn’t remember what life was before him. He had learned to build his plans around Luffy recklessly charging forward, didn’t even bother trying to explain anything to him. He had long since stopped fighting the pull, the warm aura of power and charisma that drew people in and didn’t let go. It took a while but Law had finally accepted that he was not any different from all the other people Luffy had managed to charm without even realizing he was doing it ever since Law had gotten him out of the Goa Kingdom.

There was just something in the stupid divine cat that made people want to join and support him. Maybe it was the sense of absolute freedom that followed him everywhere; be it his own freedom, or the one of whoever Luffy thought deserved it.

“What’s wrong?” Luffy asked after a long while of them just looking at each other.

Law smiled, shaking his head at the cute, worried frown on his face. “Just hoping your grandfather won’t hit us before we sink far enough.”

“He’d never actually hit the ship, he’s a big softie,” Luffy announced, that grin back on his face.

“Good to know.” Law chuckled, finally sitting down on the bed with Luffy. “You know, I was sleeping before you two started fighting,” Law said offhandedly, glancing at Luffy and nearly snorting at the way his ears perked up in excitement.

“Wanna?” the other asked immediately, nearly vibrating in place.

Raising an eyebrow, Law gave Luffy a look. “I was going to say yes but seeing how excited you are, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”

“Nah, it’s all good,” Luffy decided, nodding to himself as he hopped off the bed, walking two steps towards the door to Law’s cabin before shifting into his monster cat form, then lied down slowly, watchful as to not break anything while he tried to fit his huge body into the tiny room.

Once Luffy looked back at him expectantly and Law was sure he was fully settled, Law went to join his boyfriend on the floor, careful not to step on any of his limbs or either of his two tails on the way. As he leaned back against the giant cat’s chest, he let his eyes slide shut, already feeling the exhaustion from earlier in the day settling back in. It was just so warm and soft and fluffy and Law would sooner die than admit out loud how much he loved it. It wasn’t like everyone didn’t already know by then anyway. What could he say, Luffy’s fur was impossible to resist. It was worse than Bepo’s in this aspect.

“No licking,” Law reminded, cracking one eye open to shoot Luffy a half-hearted glare when he felt his face come close to his body.

“You’re no fun,” Luffy whined.

Law could only sigh. “I’d just like to keep my skin where it is, thanks.”

“Fine.” Luffy huffed, thankfully keeping his sand-paper tongue where it should be, before he simply nudged Law with his forehead.

A smile pulled on Law’s lips, his hand raising to rest against the side of his little monster’s head. To anyone else, this position would seem incredibly dangerous, yet to Law, it was so very comforting. He had never felt safer than when he lay snuggled into into this god’s side, with the jaw which could fit his entire head inside twice over and then some positioned just inches away from his face.

Right here, Law knew he was home.

And while he gently stroked Luffy’s fur, Law’s eyelids slowly slid shut again.

 ~ Meanwhile ~

“What do we do?!” Shachi cried in panic, staring with wide eyes at the neptunian who looked like it was about to eat the Tang for an afternoon snack.

“We have to call the captain and Luffy, we can’t do this,” Ikkaku shouted back, trying to shoo away another two of these giant sea kings away together with Jean Bart.

A frustrated groan came from Clione in response, “I tried but they won’t answer and the door won’t open!”

“Why do they always have to sleep with Luffy’s giant furry ass blocking the stupid door! How are we supposed to get them out here?!” Shachi whined, mind slowly slipping into despair. Honestly, these lovesick idiots. What use was having a literal god around when he was never there to actually help when they actually needed him to?

This was why Shachi preferred dogs over cats.

----------

Dedicated to my cat who has the softest fur and also forces me to keep everything on the fucking floor.

[Request info | Ko-fi]

[comeandreadawhile]

HCs for Adopted Boba au

• Either on Geonosis or after attempting to kill Mace that one time

• Boba sticks to Obi-Wan like a leech. Obi-Wan brings him to council meetings because it’s just easier for both of them (Boba gets stressed when he’s away from Obi-Wan for too long and council meetings can take most of the day, and Obi-Wan worries about Boba being anxious and so on in a viscious circle). Boba will get his schoolwork done on the floor next to or behind Obi-Wan’s chair, sometimes Plo will give the boy treats or puzzles. He’s clearly plotting a new murder for Mace every day but also clearly doesn’t care what they’re talking about enough to interrupt or remember the next day so they’re chill with him being there.

• If it’s Geonosis, Anakin’s big brother vibes are all directed at Boba, who is grateful to Ahsoka for being there after Christophsis to take Anakin’s unwanted “advice” as his new padawan. If it’s after that one murder attempt, a) Anakin will totally get the attempting to murder Mace thing cuz....been there done that, but that’s not okay stop it (hypocrit), and b) be tired from dadding Ahsoka, but happy to have a new addition to their chaos squad.

• I subscribe to @elfpen’s idea about the Jedi getting little apartments instead of dorms. unless they’re not assigned to a master yet. Boba gets Anakin’s old room when/as Anakin’s moved out to be Ahsoka’s master.

• Obi-Wan goes to Kamino to get EVERYTHING from the Fett apartment because one day Boba might want his father’s armory, or books, and if all of Jango’s shirts end up in Boba’s bed as soon as the boy has them then Obi-Wan makes no mention of it.

• Navigating what to call each other is takes some time, as Obi-Wan starts out being called by his first name, and ‘dad’ and ‘buir’ were both for Jango, but as Boba starts getting attached and comfortable, “O’buir” sometimes makes an appearance.

• Boba and Cody are in an odd space. Boba doesn’t like Cody telling him what to do, in any capacity. Not that Cody often does, if only for Boba’s safety or comfort. But even things like “bundle up if you’re cold” really get under Boba’s skin.

• In that same vein, Cody wants to help and comfort but he doesn’t want to be overbearing; Boba both does and doesn’t want the comfort. Cody isn’t, and can’t be, Jango. He can’t be exactly the father Jango was, and doesn’t have the same memories with Boba that Jango had; but they can make new memories, and Cody can be there for him in whatever way Boba needs to the best of his ability. Cody doesn’t hug like Jango, but it’s still good. He can’t have his dad’s hugs, and Boba doesn’t want to be unfair to Cody by expecting them. He doesn’t want a standin, nor does he want Cody to feel like one. He wants his dad, but Cody is there and trying his best to be what Boba needs in his dad’s absence.

• Cody doesn’t make mention of it when Boba crawls in bed with him and Obi-Wan. He merely shifts the blankets over them while Obi-Wan frets over the boy.

• Cody doesn’t make mention of it when Boba is sick with a fever and keeps calling him “dad”, just holds him tight when he wants held and brings him soup when he wants to eat, constantly making sure the wet rags are cold enough to be useful.

• Boba starts calling Cody “Kote” when he’s comfortable and relaxed

•Cody might’ve cried the first time Boba called him “papa”. Because “papa” wasn’t for Jango, or Obi-Wan. “Papa” was all him.

• Obi-Wan makes sure to use Mando’a in the apartment so Boba doesn’t forget it; it broadens Cody’s use of it beyond battlefield necessities as an added bonus. Cody teaches the 212th, and Rex, what he learns.

• Obi-Wan gets a list of foods Boba got growing up and works to recreate them, with taste tests at most every step to try to get them as close to what Jango made as possible. Even the ones Boba didn’t particularly like in case his tastes change when he’s older

• Boba gets away with a lot by being cute

Mace: He absolutely did! He shouldn’t behave like this!

Obi-Wan *knowing full well Boba did whatever Mace is yelling about*: My precious little—look at him Master Windu, he could never, my sweet child, how dare

Plo *also knowing what’s up*: poor sweet lad, here have a candy

Yoda *a troll*: Calm yourself, you should, Master Windu.

Mace *covered in whatever evil Boba was up to that day to get revenge for his father*: D:<

• Boba can and will perch on Obi-Wan’s leg and glare at Mace during a council meeting

• Plo is Boba’s go-to babysitter; Rex can only counteract so much of Anakin and Ahsoka’s energy and has enough to deal with in that household already. Plo is really good at keeping Boba calm while he’s separated from Obi-Wan, and Boba and Wolffe get along surprisingly well.

• Obi-Wan tries and fails to keep Boba out of the war but his new murder child would probably be more anxious sitting around the temple waiting for him than on the battlefield. Boba holds his own, is comfortable doing missions with both the 212th and 501st if he’s with his Jedi siblings, proving to be an asset with how well Jango trained him in stealth and recon.

• Boba now has a large support system, beginning with Obi-Wan. Boba gets a brother-uncle in Anakin, as Obi-Wan’s son-brother thing, and as Anakin’s daughter-sister thing, Ahsoka is now Boba’s big sister-aunt. Cody and the 212th are pretty protective when other groups of clones give Boba a cold shoulder (they get it, but still). Rex gets best uncle status, and also cool big brother; depends on whether he’s there with Cody or Anakin.

•Boba can and will sleep on Obi-Wan during a council meeting if his finishes his schoolwork and doesn’t feel like leaving or doing anything else.

• That business with Barriss in season 5 wouldn’t have happened because Jango taught this boy well enough to know when a) somethings fishy and b) someone’s being set up. Who was communicating with workers in that temple from anywhere on Coruscant? How convenient and coincidental and baseless is any evidence being turned up? Boba would’ve been like “sounds like nano bombs, who’s got that tech? Time to go into the underworld, dad had contacts leggo”

• Boba, who’s listened to every worry Anakin has to come Obi-Wan with about Padme: bro maybe you need to stop talking to her. Doesn’t sound like either of you are happy in this “friendship” you’ve got going on, so either sit down and talk it out or maybe it’s time to make new “friends”

• Boba would destroy Lux. Telling Anakin everything and getting him and Rex in on the party makes it much more fun. Ahsoka might be content to move on after angry words and a slap but they’re throwing hands

• Boba might know about the chips

•Dooku probably checks in over holocall like a grandpa. Like “*taunt**taunt* CIS will win *taunt* anyway how is young Master Fett? I’m sure my grandpadawan is a fine father but how are things? Surely the bright young man knows who to join when the time comes—and to get enough sleep, so he’ll grow tall, and—“