#he pursed taylor while she was in a relationship

[suttonite]

is it safe to say… that the more i think about it… the more i hate steven and taylor together.

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗚𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗪𝗛𝗢'𝗦 𝗪𝗛𝗢

　　　　　　　　𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐��𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N participates in the new Sturniolo Triplets tiktok, but doesn't actually appear in it.

WARNING: None.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N closed the door to her shared room with Chris, heading up the stairs as she hummed a Taylor Swift song under her breath, her eyes focused on the screen of the phone in her hands, where Twitter was open and she was reading the new Grammy's gossip.

The first thing the girl noticed when she arrived in the kitchen was the triplets all together, their backs to her and looking at the counter while laughing.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked, putting down her phone while locking the screen, putting it in her pocket, and focusing her attention on the three brothers.

Chris turned around quickly, having been startled by the sudden appearance of his girlfriend, placing his right hand on his own chest while calming his breathing.

"Hi Y/N!" Matt smiled, waving his left hand in a quick wave.

"Hi Matty." She replied with a soft smile, moving closer to the three and looking at the counter, her eyebrows furrowing when she saw several of the triplets' things scattered around the space. "What are you doing?" Y/N asked again, leaning her right shoulder against Chris's chest as she felt his left arm surround her, bringing her close.

"It's for a tiktok, it's a little game where the fans will have to guess what belongs to who." Nick explained, holding his phone with both hands in the air, the rear camera facing the table, ready to take a picture of the first items.

"But there are things of mine in there." Y/N commented, seeing some of her beauty items among the others.

"Yes, that's because Chris carries your stuff everywhere." Matt said with a shrug. "That part of the products are things that we carry in our backpack or in our pants pocket."

A sound of understanding left the girl's mouth as she snuggled closer against Chris, watching Nick take pictures of all the items separately.

It was true that Chris took a lot of her things with him, even if Y/N already stated that he didn't need to do it, it was the boy's habit since it had previously occurred to her that she needed something and felt frustrated for not having it with her at the moment. With that, Chris made it his little mission to always buy two of the girl's essential items and carry one of each with him too, either in his backpack or, depending on the size, in the pocket of his sweatpants or jeans.

Furthermore, Y/N's have also an habit to stick stickers on everything she owned (toiletry and make-up bag, purse, phone or tablet case, etc.), and after her relationship with Chris became something more serious and intimate over a year ago, the girl started sticking stickers on his things too.

It was something that amused her and that the boy loved, he said that when they weren't together, he just needed to look at his wallet or his laptop and he would see a little piece of her with him.

Y/N smiled warmly when she saw each of these things in each picture that was taken:

The first one with the laptops, in the middle of all the colorful stickers there was a teddy bear with a pink bow around its neck;

In the second, the wallets one, Chris's was decorated by the Prada brand and by an small sticker of a striped heart on the upper left;

In the third one, with the jewelry was a hair tie in the color of Y/N's hair;

In the fourth, the backpacks one, Chris's also had a pearlescent keychain hanging with a baby pink tube of hand sanitizer;

In the sixth one with the headphones, Chris's only had one little letter in pink, the initial of Y/N's name;

In the seventh, the care products one, in the middle of Chris's products was a lip gloss from Rhode and a small tube of hand cream from Sol de Janeiro.

Of course, if the girl were to look for her everyday bag right now, she would have a million of Chris's things too, since he was a guy who liked self-care. It was something personal for them, a way of taking care of each other and always carrying a little piece of their lover.

Chris lowered his head slightly, sniffing the scent of fresh shampoo from Y/N's hair before sealing his lips over the top of her head for a few seconds, hiding his smile as he noticed all the little parts of his girl among his things.

The boy shook his head slightly, the comments on that tiktok would go crazy, and he was all for it.

"Now, who's hungry?" The girl asked after Nick took the last picture, smiling when she heard the oldest shout that he was and Matt smiled, nodding his head while saying that he was too.

"Can you make mac and cheese in that way that I really like? Pretty please?" Chris asked, turning her so she was facing him and smiling big.

She nodded while laughing lowly, rising on her tiptoes and kissing Chris's lips quickly before walking over to the fridge, grabbing all the items to make the dinner requested.

A smile spread across her face when she turned around again and saw the triplets glued to each other, smiling as they looked at Nick's phone screen, probably reviewing the pictures he took.

She shook her head in amusement, placing the items in the sink before fishing her phone out of her pocket and taking a quick picture of the three, making a mental note to send it to Nick later, already knowing that it would probably be in the next photo dump.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

extra - comments:

"the fact that the tiktok was about guessing what belongs to who but it was obvious what was Chris's because of the little Y/N things he has in the middle of his own 😭"

"THIS IS SO CUTE OMG"

"the hair tie 😫"

"you know Y/N has good taste when she uses SOL DE JANEIRO hand cream"

"Y/N the biggest clean girl on this site"

"the teddy bear sticker 🥺"

"I'm sure there must be a picture of Y/N inside Chris's wallet"

~ "petition for Chris to make that trend "picture in my wallet" ✏️📄"

[aauroraxia]

Supposed To Be

Armando Aretas

This story is based off of a song called Begin Again by Taylor Swift ^^. For a better experience I highly recommend you listen to the song 🎧!

Sypnosis: Y/N just got out of a toxic relationship with ex named Greg. She finally decided to start dating again. On her first date with her new boyfriend, Armando she has many flashbacks of her past relationship. Armando shows her how love is supposed to be, and not all love is toxic.

Warnings: None

I took a deep breath in the mirror, doing a little twirl. I looked perfect, my tight red dress, hugged my curves. My curly hair curled perfectly around my face. My black high heels made me a little taller than I actually was, but I don’t care, I think I look perfect and I hope he thinks the same.

I was finally dating again. After breaking up with Greg, I was scared of dating. Until I met Armando. He told me that he didn’t know my ex or what he did for us to break up, but, that he was nothing like him, he’s one of a kind.

One of my friends had offered to take me to the restaurant I walked out of my house grabbing my phone, purse, and keys, and walked to the car. As I sat in the passenger seat I started thinking.. ‘Remember what happened last time you went on a date’

Flash Back Start 𖣔

I arrived to the cafe that Greg asked me to meet him at. I looked in the mirror in my car, fixing my hair. I wanted everything to be perfect.

I walked inside the cafe, glancing around looking for Greg. He was nowhere to be found. I started panicking, thoughts flooded my mind.

‘He couldn’t be standing me up’

‘He wouldnt’

‘Would he?’

The waiter sat me at a table. I caught a few weird glances from other couples. I pulled my phone out of my purse, checking the time constantly, and maybe to see if Greg texted. After about 25 minutes, he hadn’t called or texted.

Tears flooded my eyes. I put my phone away and gathered my things. It’s time to go home.

As soon as I stood up I heard the cafe bell ring. I turned around to see Greg walking in the shop. His brown hair, messy. He had on a blue button up shirt that wasn’t even buttoned completely.

Had he even tried to look nice? Was this “date” really not that important? I balled my fist up, sitting back down in my seat, waiting for him to walk over.

He sat in front of me in silence. No ‘Hey, I’m sorry for being late.’ No stupid excuse. Just silence.

Flash Back Ends 𖣔

I shoved that memory deep down in my mind, or at least I tried. I started my car and drove to restaurant I was meeting Armando at.

I walked in the restaurant, hoping Armando was already here. And he was. He waved me over to the table he was sitting at. Walking over to him, he looked at me with a small but genuine smile. He stood up and pulled out my chair for me.

That was so nice! I sat down across from him, locking eyes with him. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of me.

Flash Back Start 𖣔

The rest of the date went pretty well. Greg told me this lame excuse of how he couldn’t get a stain out of shirt, that’s why he was late. He asked me how was my day and after I answered him he explained how his day went.

While explaining my day I made a small joke. I guess he didn’t think I was funny because he just stared at me, with a blank unreadable expression on his face.

Embarrassing…

I quickly changed the topic to work, to avoid any further embarrassment.

“Hey, I think you look really pretty tonight, but um I’m not that much taller than you and you wearing heels makes you taller than me.. I don’t like the look so if we’re supposed to be together could you stop wearing heels?”

The audacity..

It’s not my fault that he’s shorter than Peter Pan. But this date already started rocky so I just smiled and nodded.

Flash Back Ends 𖣔

“Te ves hermosa. Ese vestido y esos tacones te hacen ver muy sexy.” Armando said.

I smiled at his sweetness. I knew he wasn’t much of a talker but he was putting in a effort to talk, and that’s all I needed.

“How are you?” He asked

“Good, what about you. Apart from being hunted from the police.” I joked

He leaned his head back, laughing. Last time I told a small joke I was hella embarrassed. But that wasn’t the case this time, thankfully.

Soon, a waiter came and took our order, we ate and talked about any and everything. He even payed for both of our meals. Damn, he couldn’t be any more perfect.

He offered to take me home and I agreed. “Any specific song you want to listen to?”

I started thinking.. “Can you play ‘Fuck It I Love You’ by Lana Del Rey.

“Yeah”

Flash Back Start 𖣔

When Greg invited me to his apartment, on the way there I asked him to play that same song. “What does the song even mean. It’s boring and sad. How about something else.”

I looked at him in utter disbelief. Did he really not understand the meaning? Once again I just smiled and nodded.

Flash Back End 𖣔

“Sorry if you don’t like this song.” I said “I know it’s supposedly sad.”

“Nah, it’s not sad. It’s real.” He assured me.

Oh my gosh I think I love him.

Once arriving at my house Armando walked me to my front door. Like he was protecting me.

I loved that. It made me feel like I would never have to worry about my safety with him.

“Como te dije antes, no conozco a tu ex ni lo que hizo para que rompieras con él, pero nunca te lastimaré amor.”

I smiled, placing both of my hands on his shoulders, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. Once I pulled away, he softly cuffed my cheeks, pulling me into a passionate but loving kiss.

“Sure you don’t wanna come in?” I asked him with a playful smirk.

“Quizás lo haga” He said with a smirk, locking his car, and following me inside.

I don’t know how far this “relationship” with Armando would go but, I do know this is how love is supposed to be.

Translations:

“Quizás lo haga” - Maybe I will

“Como te dije antes, no conozco a tu ex ni lo que hizo para que rompieras con él, pero nunca te lastimaré amor.” - Like I told you before, I don't know your ex or what he did to make you break up with him, but I will never hurt you, love.

“Te ves hermosa. Ese vestido y esos tacones te hacen ver muy sexy.” - You look beautiful. That dress and those heels make you look very sexy.

[impalaimagining]

Super, Super Bowl

Dean Winchester x Reader

950 words

Note: Unbeta'd, unedited. Slammed my keyboard while my kids watched Mickey Mouse. This is the result.

Dean’s man cave. The biggest television you’d ever seen, the comfiest reclining chairs you’d ever sat in, the coldest refrigerator known to man - the perfect place for a Super Bowl party. Dean was going to have the game on anyway, why not make the most of it?

Halfway through the season, headlines started popping up everywhere - about Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. And football. 

What?

Turned out she was dating Travis Kelce, some dude from the Kansas City Chiefs. Dean watched the Kansas City games religiously, as long as he was in the bunker, or, if by some magical power of the universe, the motel TV could pick it up. The groan that escaped Dean when Taylor Swift started showing up on the screen once they publicly outed their relationship was nothing short of hilarious.

It started out small, the way you taunted and teased Dean about her being ever-present. You wore a friendship bracelet with the number 87 on it - Travis’s jersey number. You bought a beanie, white and red, like the one Taylor was seen wearing at one of the colder games. You managed to snag a Kelce jersey online during a flash sale when the Chiefs were headed to the playoffs.

It came to a head when you found a shop on Etsy selling sweatshirts that said, “in my football era” in bubbly pink lettering. Everything looked good - great, even - for the Chiefs on the path to the Super Bowl. Dean watched you open the package when you got home from the post office and with the eye-roll he gave, you were honestly a little concerned that he’d strain an orbital muscle.

“Leave me alone.” You huffed, concealing a smile.

“As long as she doesn’t show up as a surprise halftime show guest, I don’t give a damn about her.” Dean grumbled, heading toward his hideaway.

You lingered in the library, slumping down into the couch while you scrolled through endless suggested, targeted posts about Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, her boyfriend’s brother and his family, her boyfriend’s mom, the suite they’d be sitting in for the game. You name it and there was a blurb about it online. Jarring you out of your screen-induced daze, Dean’s voice rattled through the concrete halls.

“What the hell is going on in here?!”

A smirk pulled on the right side of your lips as you set your phone down beside you and painted on your best innocent face. Dean’s socked feet managed to sound as heavy as his boots as they pounded back to the library.

“Do you care to explain what exactly happened in there?” He pursed his lips, brows raised.

You shrugged, still feigning innocence. “What happened in there?” 

“Don’t get cute.” He folded his arms over his chest. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Is Sam pranking you again? I thought you two moved on from that.” You furrowed your brows in faux confusion. “Aren’t you a little old for practical jokes?”

“No, Sam - Sam doesn’t have anything to do with that monstrosity. What did you do to my man cave?!” You stood and took a step toward Dean, already wearing your new sweatshirt. “All of you are crazy. Every single on of her fans is insane.” He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Excuse you.” You scoffed. “We’re not called fans, Dean. We’re swifties.” With an extra sway in your hips, you sauntered down the hall to the room Dean was so up-in-arms about. When you got to the door, you giggled and stood proudly before your work. “I don’t get it. What’s wrong? It looks great in here.”

Dean’s exasperation sputtered from his mouth as he searched for words to express just how ruffled his feathers were. “It’s - it’s - there’s - you deflowered the sanctity of my man cave!”

You tipped your head back with a cackle. “I what?”

“You ruined it!” Dean threw his arms out toward the walls.

Ruined it.

You scoffed. You thought you did a wonderful job of sticking to the theme. Across the room, in plain view as soon as you walked through the door, a shimmery red curtain served as the backdrop to a table. The table was covered with a Chiefs tablecloth, and on the tablecloth sat a red-mirrored disco-football. Beside the football was a charcuterie board - or boards, really. One shaped like the number eight and one shaped like the number seven. Cupcakes with gold flakes and tiny footballs stood on a tiered tower. An array of red drinks lined the lefthand side of the table - Shirley Temples, except they were sparkly too, thanks to the edible glitter you swirled into them. Hanging behind the table, strung across the shiny backdrop, you made and hung three rows of garland - garland designed to look like a friendship bracelet made from pony beads and white, lettered beads that read “IN MY,” next line, “SUPER BOWL,” last line, “ERA.” On the adjacent wall, there was another table, far less aesthetically pleasing, decked out with chips, salsa, guacamole, pretzels, dips, a crockpot full of meatballs beside a basket of rolls.

It looked fantastic.

“I don’t understand.” You walked in and twirled around, arms open. “This looks like the perfect way to celebrate the Swift Bowl.”

“WHAT?!” Dean’s eyes bulged from their sockets.

Another loud laugh escaped you as you clapped your hands together. “Dean, it’s just a football game.” You shook your head and stood beside him, both of you looking at, but with far different feelings about, the red glittery glow surrounding you. “I’ll take the decorations down tomorrow. I promise.”

Dean released a long, loud sigh and closed his eyes. “Fine, but I swear if I hear even one second of her music, I-”

“Aw, c’mon Dean.” Sam clapped Dean’s shoulder as he walked by, stepping into the man cave and dipping a chip in salsa. “You gotta just,” Sam’s face twisted as he tried to conceal a wide grin, “shake it off.”

Forever Tags: @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @beththedemonhunter @blacktithe7 @caswinchester2000 @chelseadanielle19 @countrygal17a @danathewitchywoman @deansgirl7695 @deanwanddamons @dena111923 @elizzysnow13 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @emoryhemsworth @esoltis280 @essie1876 @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @heartsaved @hillface89 @holyfuckloueh @hunterpuff @in-deans-arms @ladylachesis @lilredniki @linki-locks11 @mottergirl99 @mrswhozeewhatsis @notyourtypicalrose @plaid-lover-bay25 @riversong-sam @sandlee44 @sea040561 @shaelyn102 @smoothdogsgirl @soulmates8 @speakinvain @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spnbaby-67 @supernatural3002 @superromijn @tumblr-tidbits @vicmc624 @voltage-my2dlove @wayward-gypsy

Dean Tags: @adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278 @cherrycokegirlsblog @clarewinchester @dean-winchesters-bacon @deanandsamsbitch @deansgirl215 @fandom-princess-forevermore @iamabeautifulperson18 @lessons-of-red @mereka18 @princessofthefandomrealm @shamelesslydean @torn-and-frayed @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

Lover

(Harry Styles x Fem! swiftie! Reader)

Summary: Harry asks Taylor to perform Lover at his wedding as a surprise to his wife.

Contents: Mild angst, cringey fluffiness, dirty joke(bestlifeonline.com), mentions of insecurities, mentions of past relationship, cursing

(Ya’ll can thank Miss. Taylor Alison Swift for this idea. Came to me during the Eras film.)

I did it. Sitting at this table with Harry, during our wedding reception, all my dreams have come true.

“Y/N… Y/N!”

I shake my head, turning my attention to Harry who’s looking at me expectantly.

“Hm?”

He laughs and squeezes my hand.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Mrs. Styles?”

I blush and shrug my shoulders.

“I don’t know, just kind of lost in my thoughts honestly. We’re here… We made it H. Like can you believe that?”

He smiles and shakes his head, squeezing my hand. Before he can respond, the DJ announces something over the microphone.

“Ladies and gentleman, please join me in welcoming the happy couple in their first dance! If the bride and groom could make their way out to the dance floor!”

Harry stands and takes my hand, leading me to the dance floor with a smile. He positions his hands and wraps them around my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck. The music starts to play but every other second, it skips.

I start to tear up, frustrated that my perfect moment could be ruined. Harry sighs and kisses my forehead before he lets me go and heads over to the DJ’s station, no doubt to figure out what’s going on.

I see him physically sigh from across the room and I frown, looking down at the floor as I try to hide my tears. A few minutes later, he takes me back into his arms and holds me close with a smile.

“I thought-.”

He shakes his head and just presses his forehead against mine before he whispers softly.

“It’s fine. Trust me.”

Before I can respond, I hear someone tapping on a microphone. I turn my head to the small stage and see none other than Taylor Swift. With a guitar in her hand.

“Is this thing on? Oh okay cool it is! Hi guys! My name’s Taylor and I’ve been given the tremendous honor to sing this song for these two amazing people here. It means so much to me that this song means everything to them and their relationship. Please join me in welcoming Mr. and Mrs. Harry and Y/N Styles.”

I look at Harry, my eyes tearing up as he smiles.

“You did this?”

He pecks my lips and smiles but he doesn’t respond. He just pulls me closer as she begins to play and sing.

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

“Harry… I can’t believe you did this- Did you- Did you plan this?”

He laughs and shrugs.

“Maybe yes, maybe no. You’ll never know though.”

I laugh and shake my head and he spins me around with a loving smile.

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

Flashback, 3 years before:

“Y/N, I’m sorry this isn’t exactly what I planned… I just wanted tonight to be perfect and now-.”

I smile and shake my hand, placing a hand over his. I look around and spot an ice cream shop across the street.

“It’s okay. I’m here spending time with you. It doesn’t matter what we do. How about we go get some ice cream? Nothing could go wrong with ice cream.”

He laughs and nods, taking my hand and leading me to the shop. We head inside and order our ice cream, then stand to the side while we wait. A familiar song comes on the radio and I start to him and sing along to it.

“You’re my my my… lover.”

Harry takes my hand before I know it, he’s pulling me into his arms and spinning me around the ice cream shop at almost midnight. I laugh and dance with him, enjoying the odd but sweet moment between us.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

“Do you remember our first date? What made you pull me in?”

He purses his lips before he smiles and answers.

“I dunno really. It just felt right. My body moved faster than my mind did. But we sure surprised them, didn’t we? Dancing at practically midnight in an empty shop, just because we wanted to. We’ve always been like that, haven’t we?”

I laugh and nod as he twirls me around before he pulls me in closer than before, resting his for forehead against mine.

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

“Y/N… I know I’ve told you this… Multiple times in fact… But you are one of a kind… Everyday I just fall more and more in love with you, whether we’re dancing in the kitchen, watching a movie, attending one of my numerous events or even just sitting quietly together. I love you Y/N. I’ve… I’ve never known what true love feels like until I met you. And I never want to lose what we have…”

I tear up and try to blink away my tears before I peck his lips a few times.

“Dummy… What did I say about making me cry today of all days?”

He laughs and pecks my lips. His hands move to my waist and he lowers me down, dipping me before he pulls me close again.

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

Flashback, Christmas 2 years ago:

“I love your room, H. It’s so boyish and adorable. Makes me almost want to squish you.”

He groans and shakes his head before he plops on the bed on to his back.

“Mum hasn’t touched anything since I left. She leaves mine and Gem’s rooms the way the are and I have a feeling it’s for this exact reason.”

I smile and lay down next to him, resting my head on his chest before looking up at him.

“It’s sweet. You’re her babies. Of course she would leave them. I’m sure my mom would’ve too if we’d had a housing growing up.”

He sighs and pulls me on top of him so i now rest my chin on his chest.

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me out of hosting Christmas. I have plenty of room and a bigger bed! It also would’ve saved me the embarrassment!”

I laugh and shake my head. Before I can respond, Anne, Harry’s mom, pops her head through the doorway with a smile.

“Hey you two! We’ve got snacks and some tea downstairs! Why don’t you come warm up! Gemma wants to finish decorating the tree!”

I smile and nod, getting off of Harry before holding out my hand for him to take.

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

Flashback, 6 months ago:

“Y/N, I promise! We’re just friends! I would never want to be with her again!”

I frown and keep my back to him, refusing to look at him.

“But you know she’s better for you. She fits in better with your lifestyle and it’s obvious she still wants you… Maybe you really are better off with her…”

He groans and grabs my shoulders, turning me around forcefully.

“I’m not with her. I haven’t been for years! Nor would I want to! We’re better as friends! And before I go into all the reasons why it should be you, I’ll tell you why it’s not her. I care for her deeply… But she’s not down to earth like you are. She doesn’t understand what it’s like to work hard for what you want. Everything is handed to her. But you? My god… My Y/N. Your heart, your soul, your determination and your will… You never give up. You put your mind on something and there really is no stopping you. Your promotion at work, moving to London to be with me after only 8 months together. You have lived such a painful life and look at you. You are one of the strongest people I know. You inspire me to be the man I want to be… And that man loves you. All of you. So i don’t want to hear any more about how you think you’re not good enough. Fuck the fame. It’s nothing without love. The only words I want to hear are ‘I do’. Yeah?”

I sigh and give him a small smile.

“I should really know better by now. Every time I feel insecure, you always seem to burn me and love me all at once.”

He laughs and wraps his arms around me, kissing my forehead.

“Good. No more being mean to my girl.”

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

Flashback, Harry’s 29th birthday:

“Happy Birthday old man.”

He rolls his eyes and laughs before he hugs me.

“Y/N, don’t start. I’m 29..”

I laugh and hug him tight.

“He’s 29 folks! Twenty noine!”

“We’re never watching that episode of New Girl ever again. Well, at least until you turn 29. I’ll be playing it on a loop that day.”

I snort and shake my head, pecking his lips.

“Y/N…?”

I look him in the eyes an hum. His eyes soften and he smiles.

“Thanks for coming with me… I know it hasn’t been easy… But having you with me…It means everything to me. I love you.”

I smile and peck his lips softly.

“I go where you go.”

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

Flashback, a year and a half ago:

“Hey… H? Can you teach me how to play guitar?”

His eyes widen and he smiles before nodding enthusiastically.

“Of course I will, love! But why the sudden interest?”

I shrug and smile.

“I don’t know. I mean I already know who to play ukulele. Couldn’t be much different. And honestly I really want to learn how to play Push. You know how much I love Matchbox.”

He laughs and nods. He grabs a nearby guitar and pats his lap, motioning me to sit. I quickly do as he says and he starts to position my hands on the guitar, strumming it softly as he does so.

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

Flashback, 3 months into their relationship:

“Y/N L/N I swear! You are the most overdramatic person I know! And that’s saying something!”

He laughs and shakes his head as he looks at me, my eyes welling up with tears.

“I’m sorry! It’s just so sad! They could’ve been so good together and look at how miserable they are!”

I wipe my tears and Harry shakes his head, laughing.

“That’s Klaus’ fault! And Caroline’s not miserable! She has Stephan and she’s pregnant! She’s literally a pregnant vampire!”

“They could’ve been amazing and I’m not sorry for crying! This is why I don’t watch this with you because you love to tease me!”

He laughs and hugs me, kissing the side of my head.

“That may be true, but I love you’re overdramatic ways. Cry. I’ll be hear to wipe your tears away.”

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

Flashback, 6 months ago:

“Psst. Y/N. Y/N!”

I groan and advert my eyes from my phone to look at him, only to see a devilish grin on his face.

“What?”

He smiles even more before he whispers to me.

“What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”

I groan and look at him.

“What, was Niall bored again?”

“Just answer the question Y/N!”

I sigh and look at him.

“I don’t know, what?”

He smiles and whispers again.

“A guy will actually search for a golf ball!”

I groan and Harry laughs, throwing his head back into the couch.

“Tell Niall to find some new material because that joke was not a hole in one.”

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

Flashback, 6 month anniversary:

“No matter how many times we go out, taking you home has to be my favorite part.”

I give him a look of shock and his own mouth drops, realizing what he just said.

“No! I just meant! I just meant that.. When I take you home… I give you a kiss goodnight… I always sleep better with a kiss goodnight. Honestly I wish you just lived with me so I could kiss you goodnight and good morning everyday…”

My mouth gapes in complete shock.

“A-Are you.. are you asking?”

He looks in my eyes and purses his lips, giving me a small nod.

“I-I know we’ve only been dating six months but… I love you Y/N L/N… I’m serious about us. More than I ever have been with anyone else… You can say no… I’ll understand-.”

I grab his cheeks and pull him down to my level, wrapping my arms around him as I kiss him passionately. He smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me up slightly.

After a minute or so I pull away for air and Harry smiles, resting his forehead against mine.

“I love you Harry…So much.”

He smiles, pecking my lips lightly before hugging me again.

A couple weeks later:

I wake up to the sun in my eyes and arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I slowly turn to see a sleepy, smiling Harry. He squeezes me in his arms and pecks my lips softly.

“Good morning, love.”

I smile and snuggle up close to him before whispering back to him.

“Good morning, boyfriend.”

You're my, my, my, my

Oh, you're my, my, my, my

Darling, you're my, my, my, my

Lover

Present, the wedding reception:

Harry holds my close, one hand holding my hand as the other remains secured to my waist. As Taylor finishes singing, harry softly whispers the last few lyrics to me before her kisses me. In the moment, nothing else mattered. It’s like it was just us and no one else was around…

6 years later, 6 year wedding anniversary:

I wake up, groaning as I turn only to be met by a small, look alike of my husband.

“Hi mommy.”

I smile and take Riley into my arms, hugging her tight as she giggles.

Riley Anne Styles, our honeymoon baby. Shortly after we came home from our honeymoon, I discovered I was pregnant after repeatedly getting sick while I was trying to get my some done. She’s 5 years old and an exact copy of her daddy. She’s a mommy’s girl, and is always close to my side.

“Good morning, my little bug.”

Riley groans as she wiggles in my arms.

“Mommy! I told you! I’m a big girl! I’m not little! Jude is little…”

She pouts and I smile, planting a kiss on her cheek.

“That may be true, but you’ll always be my little bug. Just embrace it, love bug.”

I sit up and get out of bed, carrying Riley as I walk out of the bedroom and downstairs, where the smell of eggs and coffee waft through the house. I set Riley down and she paddles her feet over to her daddy, who’s holding our son, Jude, while cooking at the stove.

Jude Edward Styles. A carbon copy of myself and our unplanned miracle. I was on bed rest my last trimester because of complications and he spent a few weeks in the NICU. He’s our little fighter and a daddy’s boy through and through. He’s only a year and a half but he’s so lively, you can’t but smile when you see him.

“Daddy! I woke up mommy!”

Harry turns around and sighs when he sees me.

“Ri- I told you not to wake up mummy, remember?”

Riley frowns and tears up a little. Harry sighs once again, turns off the burner and moves the pan to the back burner before turning around.

“It’s okay lovie, but remember, sometimes mummy needs to sleep. Remember how she’s been gone because of work? She was really sleepy and she got home pretty late last night…”

“Baby it’s okay. I slept great and I feel fine. C’mere bug, it’s okay.”

I kneel down and Riley runs over to me, flinging herself in my arms.

“It’s okay, love bug. Know one is mad at you. Right daddy?”

Harry smiles and nods. He fixes his hold of Jude before he walks over to us and kneels to my level.

“Sorry love, I just-.”

I kiss his cheek and shake my head, smiling.

“I know, and I appreciate you for doing that. But I feel fine. I missed you and I missed the kids… I didn’t want to be gone so long, especially because of our anniversary but work just kind of got out of control-.”

Harry pecks my lips and takes my free hand in his, squeezing it.

“I know, my love, I know. But you’re home. And I have so much planned for tonight, I just need to take the kids to mum’s-.”

“I love that you made so many big plans, I do… But- Can we maybe keeps the kids tonight? Do our anniversary dinner another night..?”

Harry smiles and nods.

“Of course. I know better after 6 years of marriage and 2 years of dating that you hate fancy restaurants for special occasions. I was going to cook your favorite and we were just gonna stay in and do- things…”

I laugh and shake my head.

“Last I checked, this is our anniversary, not just mine. Do I have any more say in what we do?”

He laughs and nods.

“Well, go ahead Mrs. Styles. What did you have in mind?”

Harry sets Jude in his lap and he crawls over to me with a drooly, toothy smile. I take him into my arms so I now have both my babies in my lap.

“I want a day with all my babies. Like we used to before we both went back to work…”

He smile and nods, before he pulls out his phone. He makes a quick call and just like that, we have a day full of family time. We go to all of our family places, and for the first time in a while, everything felt… normal. We spend the morning at the kid’s favorite interactive museum and then get some lunch before hitting the park. The kids manage to exhaust themselves so we take them home and put them down to nap. Normally, Riley doesn’t nap but she doesn’t sleep the greatest when Harry or I have to travel for work, so we decided to let her sleep.

We set them down in the tent in their playroom, and before I leave the room, I see Jude cuddle up to Riley and my heart melts. I snap a quick picture and fix their blanket to cover them more before I leave the room. I walk out to the living room to see Harry on the couch, his legs propped up on the davenport as he scrolls the the channels. I sit down next to him and curl up next to him, kicking my shoes off so I can curl my knees up. Harry wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close before pressing a kiss to my head.

“They’re out cold. Jude was cuddling Ri when I left and I kid you not H, I almost cried.”

He laughs a little and sighs.

“Missed you lover, we all did. But it was nice getting some one on one time with them. I tried getting Ri to sleep in her bed but she wasn’t having it. She missed you. Always cried after you hung up at bedtime. But mum came over and had a tea party with her. They managed to get Jude to join them but of course, that lead to them fighting over crowns and then he demolished the tea party in his dragon costume.”

I snort and shake my head.

“Of course he did. He’d live in that thing if he could.”

We cuddle and after about an hour, the kids wake up. We play in the backyard and have a nice, family dinner. After bath time, the kids are off to bed. As expected, Riley demands I read her a story and tuck her in, leaving Harry to handle Jude.

“Mommy, read more!”

I sigh and give her a small smile.

“Just one more, bug. Then it’s bed time. Now what are we reading?”

She gives me her normal sneaky smile before dropping her bombshell on me.

“Tell me how you and daddy met!”

I sigh and shake my head with a smile.

“Okay, okay fine.”

I lay down next to her, pulling her close as she snuggles up to me.

“So it was a little over 9 years ago. I was on something that you could call an adventure-.”

“Like Bluey mommy?”

I smile and nod.

“Yes, my love. Like Bluey. Anyways, I was on an adventure. I took a break from work and I decided to travel. I couldn’t pick where I wanted to go, so Papa booked me a flight for somewhere. A whole different country! My first day there, I visited this small coffee shop by my hotel and there’s where I met daddy. He was behind me in line and we ended up talking, and the rest, my sweet girl, is history.”

She giggles and cuddles up to me.

“And then you got married and then I was born? And then Jude?”

Before I can respond, Harry’s voice rings through the room.

“That’s right, lovie. And they’ve been the best years of my life.”

Harry’s leaning against the doorway, smiling with his arms folded. He walks over to the small bed and sits down at the edge of the bed.

“Daddy, were you happy?”

He smiles and leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her head before sitting back up.

“Very. Mummy is my best friend and I love her very much. And she gave me you and your brother. Our little family is all I’ve ever wanted and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Now how about we get some shut eye, little miss? You’ve got a big day tomorrow. You’re going to nana’s!”

She smiles and giggles, nodding before she shuts her eyes. I place a kiss to her cheek and she smiles before turning her back to me to face the wall. I get up from the bed and walk out of the room with Harry, quietly closing the door.

We walk upstairs and start our nighttime routine, smiling at each other as we enjoy the silence. We get into bed and I cuddle up to Harry, who pulls me in his arms. We lay there quietly for a minute until Harry speaks up.

“6 years, how crazy is that?”

I laugh and cuddle up to him.

“They’ve been good to us though. I love you more and more each day. And you know? I can’t wait to see what the next six years bring us.”

He lifts me up and lays me on top of him so I see his smiling face.

“I was thinking… How would you feel about trying for another?”

My eyes widen in shock.

“Baby? H, Jude isn’t even 2!”

“But he’s walking and by the time the baby is born, he will be! Lover, please!”

He pouts and gives me his puppy dog eyes. I sigh and peck his lips.

“Fine, fine. I give in.”

He smiles and pecks my lips.

“Did you have a good anniversary, Lover?”

I smile and nod.

“I did, I really did. It was perfect. Thank you, H.”

He nods before his eyes widen and he lifts me off of him, rushing out of bed and into the closet. He comes back a moment later with a medium sized box, wrapped in blue ribbon. My eyes widen and I frown.

“Harry! I thought we agreed no presents!”

He gives me a weak smile and hands me the box anyways.

“I know… but I couldn’t resist!”

I smile and reach into my nightstand, and pull out a small box before handing into him.

“Neither could I.”

He laughs and pecks my lips. We open our gifts at the same time, but I’m more anxious to see his reaction.

“A locket?”

“With me and the kids in it… I have an old coworker who designs them now so.. I designed one and he made it. That way, when you have to go and you get overwhelmed and can’t call… You’ll still have us.”

He tears up and puts it on before bending down to my level and pulling me into a kiss.

“I love it, Y/N. I really do.”

I smile and wipe his tears before pecking his lips again. He then grabs my present off the bed and hands it to me, gesturing me to open it. I sigh and open it slowly. Inside, is a finished brown box, seemingly to be a music box. I open into and tear up at the sound.

“It’s our song…”

He smiles and nudges his head to the box.

“Keep looking.”

I open it more and as a general music box has, there’s a figure inside dancing. But based on the immense detail, it looks like Harry and I on our wedding day. The box is littered with pictures of us with the kids and some with just us. I tear up and set the box down, pulling him into a hug.

He laughs and hugs me tight, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.

“It’s perfect…”

Harry smiles and opens the box, placing it on the bed before he lifts me up and pulls me into his arms.

“Dance with me.”

I laugh and nod, laying my head on his chest as he holds me and we slowly sway. After a few minutes, I readjust and wrap my arms around his neck, our foreheads resting against each other as he softly whispers to me.”

“Darling you’re my, my, my, Lover.”

———————————🩷————————————

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought!!! If you liked this, please feel free to check out my masterlist!

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[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey Chapter 3

Inspo: Quote - “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark that’s running through my heart ”  Summary: (18+ ONLY FIC!!!) Winnie & Richie meet for the first time, have a conversation about their love for Taylor Swift over a cigarette while Carmen fights through a panic attack in his office. W/C: 3,000 A/N: Oh my WORD!! I am so excited for this chapter, I hope you all like it!! I’m hoping my Carmy and Richie are doin’ it for ya! I’m feeling this pacing for the moment, but I promise there will be a time jump at some point. I just want to have the relationships build a little and have you guys get to know Winnie outside of who she is with Carmy!!  Warnings for BTC: Abuse (Verbal, Emotional, Physical), Swearing, Self Harm, Cigarettes, Mentions of alcohol, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Disassociation, Negative self talk, bad coping skills. (0 smut though, wow!!) 

𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!

Chapter 2 Here!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Don’t worry missy, mommy isn’t forgetting about you” I brush my hand over my cat, Persephone’s, supple fluffy white tail. “Jus’ give me a second ok?” I leaned into the mirror, finishing applying a mauve lip liner to the edges of my lips before filling them in with gloss. I give myself one final lookover, smoothing down my pale, buttercup-colored cardigan. I look like I should be freezing my ass off, but thanks to my fleece-lined nude tights- I am warm as can be. 

I head into the kitchen, Persephone weaving in and out of my legs as she usually did getting a giggle out of me. “Poor starving fluffy baby mm’?” I coo, grabbing her dish from the cabinet and emptying one of her favorite shrimp-flavored Friskies lil’ soups into the bowl, and setting it down for her. She dives right in and I scratch her head lovingly. “There, that is your bedtime snack ok? You got it early, so when it’s really time for bed later, don’t try and tell me I forgot somethin’ yea?” I go grab my ‘purse’ from the bedroom which was just the tote I’d gotten at Taylor Swift's concert a few months ago, as well as my white pleather platform boots, and sit in the entry hall, putting them on. 

I look at myself once more in the hall mirror, adjusting the white bow tying back my long locks that I’d curled. “Love y’ baby, Mama be home soon, be goods ok?” I called to Seph’ who was still chowing down in the kitchen. I slipped on my fur cape shawl-type garment over my shoulders and stepped out of my apartment. Locking my door, I headed back down a few blocks to The Bear. I put on my headphones as I walk, humming softly to the music blasting through them. 

As I approach the alleyway, I see light puffs of smoke coming out into the street. I hurried my pace, hoping it was Carmen out for a smoke before I showed up. But when I finally see around the corner, it's not Carmen, it’s some other man. Older, wearing a brown leather jacket. He nods in my direction and his lips move, his voice completely drowned out by the music that was still blasting in my ears. I pull my headphone away from my ear lightly “Sorry, wha’dya say?” I asked, taking them off and putting them in my bag.  

“I asked if you were in your Fearless Era? Nice sweater” he said and I smiled wide. “Shut up- you listen to Taylor Swift?” I walked up to him, leaning a few feet away on the brick wall. “Hell yeah! My daughter loves her, you saw the show too?” He takes another drag of his cigarette and I smile with an enthusiastic nod. “Mmhmm!!” I say proudly “Can you believe She played Death By A Thousand Cuts and Mad Woman?! Those are like, my favorites from those albums!” 

He blows the smoke past me and nods with a smile. “It really was fuckin’ fantastic. Broad puts on such a crazy show it was fire.” I looked closer and realized he was wearing chef's clogs “D’ you work here?” I questioned. Another nod “My cus’ owns it. You been?” He asked and my eyes widened before I let out a laugh, a real laugh. 

“I’m here for - for him!! Actually. He umm..invited me for a drink.” I said a shy smile dancing on my lips and my cheeks heating slightly.

“Holy shit” he laughs. “Holy fuckin’ shit” he shakes his head in disbelief. “What?” I giggle. “He has a secret girlfriend or somethin’?” I joked and that got another chuckle out of him. “No, no. Absolutely not- I just am- in shock and awe.” He snorts, taking another drag. 

“Why’s that? Am I ugly or somethin’?” I teased “oh no no quite the opposite actually, surprised he was able to talk to you. Kid gets all quiet around pretty girls.” I shrugged. “Hes….shy. But very funny.” I added. “Funny? Wow. I can’t wait to tell Sug’ t’morrow. Wait so how did you- how did he ask you out?” He questioned.

 I took a deep breath, a sheepish smile on my face “ok, so- he didn’t - he did ask, but he did it by making me ask. He was like ‘oh so you only go out with guys that have xyz’ and I was like ‘no you askin’ me out player?’ And he was like ‘nope but we can go out’ he’s such a dork” I smile at my feet and he snorts a laugh, rubbing his chin like Carmen does. 

“Yeee’ that’s Carmen’s style. He's very indirect- with girls that is. With family though- god. He’s too honest most of the time” I look back up at him. “So… how does this whole thing work, like- so Carmen is your cousin, and who is Sugar?” I asked “oh, yeah Sugars my cousin too, but she’s Carmy’s big-sis. That’s why if you decide to start comin’ ‘round more often don’t be surprised if you see her bossin’ him around even though he’s technically the boss” I giggle a bit. 

“Ohh no I saw it already. She’s- she can be scary. But she’s very pretty, so that makes up for it. She came in tellin’ him off about cups earlier” I said and he chuckles “Yeah. She was the torment today, it’s usually Carmen but he was ok for the most part. Except at the end of the day, oh! Shit!! Oh my god you” he said and I looked at him, confused. “Me?” I question, pointing at my chest. “You. Yeah you. That’s why he was sooo fuckin’ dead set on hauling everyone’s asses out the door at 9:40. Oh and that’s why he had Marcus deep clean the bar. I see.” He took another drag of his cigarette. A heat brushed my cheeks.

 Is he nervous to see me? 

I take my bottom lip between my teeth in thought. “How’d you meet?” He asked, bringing me back. My gaze meets his again, “ah- we met today? Actually? Well, I think I’ve seen him like- around, because I’ll take walks on my breaks so he’s probably been out smoking. But I was gonna come by the restaurant for lunch and he was in need of a light so, I gave him one. And then he found I work at the bookstore and figured that means I’m smart or something and with his pretty eyes he just… managed to rope me into editing your dessert menu” I said and he laughed. 

“That’s one thing about Carm’ this place?” He taps the brick with his finger “Is him, he will do anything to make something perfect about it. So I guess consider yourself smart since he trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you” he said and I blushed, my eyes meeting my boots again. 

Really like you. 

“So are all you Berzattos this charming, or is it just you and Carm?” I teased and he laughed, his head falling back “Oh, I like you” he pats my arm before stomping out the butt of his cigarette. “Here, you don’t have to walk all the way around - let me just let you in the kitchen” he dug keys out of his pocket, unlocking the large metal door. “Just realized, never got your name.” He said, opening the door and holding it ajar with his foot. 

“Winnie” I reply, and held out my hand. He shakes it, his hands were cold from the weather but his touch was gentle. “Richie” he said and I looked into the hall that leads into the kitchen, my heart beginning to hammer in my chest. “Well I’ll leave you kids at it. No fuckin’ in the kitchen it’s spotless “ he said, breaking the tension in my chest and earning a laugh from me. “No promises, know where he is?” I asked and he nodded with his chin down the hall “2nd door on the right, his office. He’s probably finishing up paperwork n’ shit.” He said and I gently kissed his cheek on my way through the door, a friendly gesture. 

“It was very nice to meet you, Richie.” I said sweetly, his cheeks were bright red. “You too, Winnie. Hopefully we see you around more- Carm can use the attitude adjustment you gave ‘em this afternoon a little more often.” He joked and my cheeks were the ones that now felt hot to the touch. 

He actually listened to what I’d said about being good. 

I nod “I’ll work on it” I said and he nodded with a smile, “night.” He said “g’night! Be safe!” I replied as he shut the door. 

The kitchen was completely silent, the only sound was the buzzing of the lights. It was literal night and day. The bookstore was always quiet unless we were doing story time for littles, and at night it was just as quiet. 

“Carmen?” I called out, my heels clicking as I made my way down the hall. “Hellooo? Hello hello?” I called, hoping he’d open up the office door. My heart picks up again, I feel it in my throat. Pounding, booming. I try to swallow the thick thumping, but it doesn’t help. I hear a hard thump against Carmen’s office door, causing my eyebrows to furrow. 

I get up to it, leaning in and I hear Carmen breathing, heavy and uncontrolled. I speak up, trying to find my confidence. He had invited me here. He wants me here. 

He trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you…

Richie’s words of encouragement bounce around in my mind. 

I took a deep breath, gently tapping on the door with my French tip. 

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go right back out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin-“ 

Carm POV;

**10 minutes before Winnie shows up**

I lean against the office door, eyes screwed shut, so tightly my forehead was beginning to cramp up as my hand shakes uncontrollably next to me, my wrist cracking with every violent flick. I was desperately trying to feel something, but my entire body was numb. My chest heaves up and down rapidly, tears burning my eyes and I roughly rub over my forehead and cheeks. Clawing at my hair and pulling tightly, to feel something, anything at all. “Fuckin - get it together, fuck!” I muttered, desperate, my nails digging into my forearm so hard that if I had any mind to me at this moment, I’d realize I was drawing blood. She would be here any second, the first - first girl, the only girl I have ever had the balls to ask out, and of course one of these - these - episodes.. Just had to come on - right now. I bump my head against the door in a futile attempt to ground myself, but it doesn’t work. I still feel fucking nothing. 

All of a sudden, per usual to this bullshit- I’m transported back to New York, to Noma, in the bathroom, hurling my guts up before my regular night shift. The pang in my stomach though, was merciful compared to the fucking hell on earth that place was.

 Then, I was on line, making Julianne cuts to a carrot for the 3rd time since the previous 2 were ‘obviously done by a blind ape’, or ‘disgustingly amateur’ as per what I can only presume is the words of the demonic human incarnate of every, single, sin, in any life, I’ve ever fucking lived, coming back in this one to haunt me in to my grave. 

 “You fucking stupid sack of shit” he seeths in my ear. “You are pure shit. Hear me? You are nothing motherfucker, you are a fucking shitstain on my name. I swear, at this rate? You get outta’ here? You are done, Hear me? DONE!!!” he barks in my ear so vociferous that it circumscribes the furthest corners of my mind, my knife slipping when I twitch slightly at the pain of the volume in my ear and it shreds into my skin, deep. 

I hissed at the sting before the fire of pain, my hand jerking away on instinct and dropping the knife. It clattered to the floor loudly and before I could react he grabbed the collar of my whites brutely, dragging me somewhere, my feet stumbling and tripping over each other as he towed me like a ragdoll, before he was violently throwing me to the floor of the bathroom in a pathetic, bleeding heap. “Fucking pussy” he growled, digging his chef's clog in my side just enough to knock the remaining wind out of my lungs. “Clean yourself up, pathetic moron. There's fucking work to be done, or did you overlook that? You slothful, utterly useless, piece of garbage.” The door to the bathroom slams, and I’m left alone, my blood leaking into the tile. At least he didn’t spit on me this time. 

My first thought isn’t if I need stitches, or of the unbelievable pain coursing through my hand and wrist - of course not, why would I ever think of myself first? Instead, it’s of the fact that my blood pool has already grown so large that it’s leaking into the grout of the restroom floor. And if it stains with the remnants of my stupid mistake, I am fucked, done, and utterly screwed. I scramble up, wincing lightly as I try to take a breath, a sharp ache going through my left lung where his shoe had dug in. 

Suddenly, I’m ripped through the walls of space and time, the soft hum of the heater meeting my ears, as the sound of the sweetest voice I’d ever heard makes its way through the door, She’s here.

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin- I also brought my book since you were just sooo interested earlier. Maybe you can take some tips from the bat-boys for your flirting skills, handsome.” 

Her voice was like a tether, gently tugging me back into my body. It’s as if my soul snaps back into my physical self all at once, her words ringing through my mind like soothing white noise, not registering a single thing she’s saying, but relishing in the fact my feet were on the ground, and I was beginning to be able to feel them there again. I try to find focus on the sound of her sweet, sweet voice.

My face finally relaxes, and I force my eyes open. I’m back- Back at the bear. I let out a shaking sigh of relief, my entire body was trembling. Blood felt like it was pooling back into every one of my limbs in a tsunami. I suddenly felt so heavy, like I could just sink into the floor in a heap and die there.

“J-J-J” I stutter out, biting down on my cheek so hard I felt a sting of pain and the taste of metal filled my mouth, so embarrassed that I’m succumbing to my old habits, especially in front of her. Forcing a deep breath into my lungs, finding my head, find your head, find it, find it Carmen. 

I inhaled so deeply it felt for a moment like my lungs could pop like balloons, before focusing all of my energy into letting out the breath as controlled and light as I could, which finally centered me enough to be able to find my tongue. “Just One sec. M’ sorry” I managed to get out, rubbing over my face roughly to get rid of the remnants of any stray tears, before wiping my hands on my shirt and turning to open the door. 

Before my mind and my….brain? Could process my actions, I was pulling the door open, pulling her into my chest, and nuzzling my face into her neck. I held her to me tightly, as if we were hanging off the very edge of the earth, and she was my only tether to reality. I took a deep breath, my knees feeling weaker at the intoxicating scent of her, Jasmine, rose, orange? Maybe grapefruit…and…Honey.  

“Thank y’ for comin’, Winnie, I need a fuckin’ drink, now.” I mutter quietly into her supple skin.

Read Chapter 4 Here!

[vintagevict0ria]

𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞

Chapter 2 "Ive been watching you for ages..."

pairing: Adam Driver x f!reader content: alcohol consumption, use of Y/n. a/n: oh gosh guys im so sorry this took SOOO LONG!! I have not had any motivation but i was determined to get this out! part 3 will not take as long!! Added a tag for all my works: #victoriassecrets!!

Endless scrolling turned into you following asleep. When you woke up, you found a pool of spit under your chin and your phone was dead. Rolling your eyes, you sat up stretching your arms before plugging your phone in and wiping your face. Today you had planned to get breakfast with Carolina today, to debrief from the past few days. It had caught you by surprise how much your co-star had been on your mind- an unhealthy amount you should say…

Hopefully this date would help clear your mind and focus on the actual movie and not Adam Driver. 

You arrived at the coffee shop shortly before Carolina did so you found a table by the window. When she arrived: she lit up instantly when her eyes met yours. “Hey girl!!!!” She let out a squeal of excitement as she frolicked over. Standing up, you embraced her in your arms. “Oh em gosh we have so much to talk about!!” Of course, Carolina couldn't wait to start talking. Sitting back down, you took a sip of hot coffee before speaking “So i want to discuss how JJ is planning on building and establishing me and- Sorry- Taylor and Johns (you and Adams characters) relationship”

“He wants you and Adam to get to know each other from the other side of the camera so that way we have something to build off of before we start filming.”  This caught you by surprise.In the past, no directors had asked you to have an actual connection that isn't just acting.

“We have 7 weeks till filming starts and I've already scheduled you and Adam a reservation at the restaurant down the road for tonight- lets get ahead yeah?” Dinner. Tonight. With Adam. It was hard to imagine what this could possibly mean. “So it's a date basically?”

“Oh gosh no silly!” She laughed, shaking her head. “Just think about it as a…” she paused. “Yeah it's basically a date.”

Oh Carolina, why would you do this to me!!

“No the red! No wait- the blue! wait - yes the red! Wait..” Holding up the two dresses and making Carolina pick was impossible. She was your hype woman and you looked good and anything but gosh this woman could not pick to save her life. “Girl, just pick! I'm going with the red-” before you could finish Adams manager walked in-”The cab will be here in an hour” she left quickly after dropping the news. Lovely, now I'm being rushed. 

“Ok pick a dress and i’ll get someone her to fix your hair and makeup-”

“No- I got this. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Carolina smiled, looking up from her phone and going over to hug you. “First impressions are everything” she whispered in your ear. All you could do was laugh.

Dress? Red(or blue?) No yeah red…

Hair? Down! No up!! Wait… Down!!

Makeup? Uhhhhhh…

“Ms. Y/L/N! The cab is here!!”

Crap! You quickly grabbed your purse and ran downstairs while still trying to put shoes on. After who knows how long, you finally got your shoes on and was greeted by Adam. 

“Evening.” He said, holding out his arm.

“Good evening.” You joyfully intertwined your arm around his elbow, letting him guide you into the cab. 

The flash of the cameras was bleeding. Being an actor in Hollywood meant stalkers, love letters, cat calls, and of course- paparazzis. Security did their best to quickly get you too into the car with little to no time for the cameras to catch a glance of you and your co-star. As soon as you entered the car- a woman- around the age of 20, started pounding at the window of the car. “Adam! You are so hot! Have my ba-” the car sped off before the woman had a chance to finish. You glazed over at Adam but he didn't seem fazed at all. Was he used to this? The ride was quiet. All that could be heard was the rolling on the car on the roads of LA and the faint playing of the radio. Before you could be relieved of the stress of this event, you stupidly went on instagram and your DM’s were full of pictures that the paparazzis had taken just minutes ago. The pictures were not as clear as expected considering you basically ran to the car. You could just faintly make out the scene of Adams' arm around yours. 

Once you arrived at the restaurant, the door swung open and a doorman held out his hand to you. You hesitantly grabbed it. Making sure your dress didn't get caught in the car door- you exited the vehicle and was once again escored beside Adam and security. Little to no paparazzis were around but somehow, many civilians knew you two were expected. Some profanities and obscure things were shouted but you too paid no attention to them. The restaurant lights were wildly contrasted with the dark outside. Adjusting to the lighting, you walked over to a table that was draped with a white cloth along with two wine glasses, silver wear, and a candle. Adam pulled out the seat, gesturing to you to sit down. Embarrassed, you smiled and whispered ‘thank you’ under your breath. Adam sat down across from you.

“So-” Adam began to speak, his brown eyes looked so whimsical in the lighting. Before speaking again, he cleared his voice. “Where are the menus?” He chuckled, looking around the restaurant. At Least he was trying to make this not awkward as possible.

“I was just thinking that! Have you ever been here before?” You scanned the room, it was quite empty- well entirely empty.

“No, you?” You shook your head. Right as you were going to say something, your waiter walked over, pen and paper in hand. “Apologies for the wait- what can I start you off to drink?” You both ordered a glass of red wine to start and shortly after receiving menus- ordered entries. Taking a sip of your drink, Adam asked “Thoughts on the film so far? Well, the script that is.” He brushed his hair back, still making eye contact with you. You couldn't believe you were having dinner with Adam Driver. He was so beautiful and there was something about him that wouldn't allow you to look away.

“I like it! Also- apologies for Carlonia setting this whole ‘date’ thing up- she can be really extra sometimes' ' putting date in quotes excentauted how awkward this dinner was. You hoped he would just laugh it off but- oh no.

“Carolina?” he laughed, shaking his head while looking down, “No, this wasn't JJs or Carolinas idea. It was mine.”

_________________________

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[aurorafables]

From the Grey, Chapter 7.

“By the way, I'm Nicholas,” I tried to lighten his mood a little. “My friends usually just call me Nick.”

The boy finally stopped and slowly turned towards me. He brushed his hair away from his face with long, thin fingers, revealing dark eyes, pouty pink lips, and the sweetest nose I'd ever seen.

Hi everyone! Here is a new part of the story with sweet moments between the boys 🥰😊 and some angst from the past.

Have a nice week! 🙂

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Nicholas Ruffilo

Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Angst, Past character death, Suicidal thoughts

Tags: M/M, M/F, Slow burn, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Family drama, Band fic, Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism

Word Count: 4.4k

Cross-posted: AO3

7.

The next morning we had a small breakfast and packed up before we left. I quickly got rid of the rental car at the nearest drop-off point and we drove most of the way in Noah's car. We listened to music, Noah singing Taylor Swift while drumming his tattooed fingers on the steering wheel, and I watched him sleepily out of the corner of my eye, my head resting on the headrest of the seat. It was especially good that I didn't have to drive much, because I didn't sleep well that night. Although I reassured myself that nothing had happened - and this was also confirmed by the fact that Noah showed the same - negative emotions still swirled in me. Guilt that Maya deserves better than me. I'm afraid one wrong word or touch and I'll lose Noah because there's no attraction worth even risking our friendship for. I started whipping myself over and over when I thought about it. I can't act so stupid, I'm a grown man who has been in a serious relationship for almost eight months now, not a stupid little teenager who has no idea about the world. 

“Everything is alright? You're very quiet today," Noah remarked, turning down the radio, keeping his eyes on the road.

“I slept badly,” I answered in a hoarse, sleepy voice, and at least I didn't lie to him with that.

“We will stop at the next gas station. I'll buy you a coffee,” he promised and smiled kindly at me, which I tried to return.

"I might not be the best company today," I said apologetically.

“You don't have to talk to be good company,” he looked at me sideways from under his sunglasses. "It calms me down when you're near me," he added much more quietly.

I pursed my lips, closed my eyes under my sunglasses, and wished he wouldn't be so nice to me all the time. It was as if his comment had fueled that strange feeling in me, which was pleasant, but I had to suppress it as soon as possible, because it would only cause my loss in the long run. 

After a few minutes we pulled into a gas station parking lot, but Noah didn't get out of the car immediately. He unbuckled his seat belt, took a deep breath, and turned to me.

“I would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday,” he began, which immediately made me pay attention to him, and suddenly the dream escaped my eyes. “My morning wasn't the best, and then…” he shook his head, causing his hair to fall into his eyes “and then Karin called me saying she wanted to meet.”

Oh. I didn't expect him to talk about it, even though I could have learned by now that if I gave him enough time, sooner or later he would pour his heart out.

“What did you say to her?” I asked breathlessly.

“I said it's over. Everything, that was between us.”

My mouth twisted into a proud smile.

“I think you made the right decision. You've already finished it once, there would be no point to continue and hurt each other.”

"Yeah…" he said thoughtfully.

I swallowed the thoughts of how badly the girl had affected him, and that he could find a thousand better women than her if he wanted to, because I really didn't really know what kind of mental state he was in, and I felt that it would not be constructive at that moment. 

“If you want to talk about this or anything else, I will be happy to listen to you at any time,”I said instead of my judgmental thoughts. Noah's grateful look made it worth it.

“Thank you. I don't know how to thank you for caring so much about me.”

“For a start a big cappuccino will do,” I joked with him to lighten both of our melancholic moods. Noah smiled but still didn't go. I could see he wanted to speak about something else.

“About what happened in the afternoon… I think it's also due to my fucked up mood.”

I blinked a few times and remembered our conversation two days before when we slept in the same room after stargazing and Noah apologized even then, though he didn't say exactly why. I felt that it would be no different now, but something told me that it would be better for both of us if I didn't mess this up. Besides, I felt equally responsible.

"Yesterday afternoon was particularly good," I said honestly, because no matter how messed up the ending was, we laughed and talked a lot before it, everything was almost the same as before.

Noah pushed his sunglasses on top of his head and scanned my face.

“So isn't that why you're in a bad mood?”

I'm in a bad mood because we almost kissed in the lake, completely attached to each other's bodies? Because I almost cheated on my girlfriend with my best friend? Or because I loved every minute when our bodies touched? Is the reason for this messed up mood that I get into the room, half lying on the floor, because my cock was throbbing so much after hearing his moans that I didn't even have the opportunity to sit on the bed? Or because of all the fucking sexy things my brain was creating and he was the main character in all of them? I have no idea what exactly the question was about.

“I'm tired, I could sleep here in the car, only my neck would hurt,” I answered. “Tomorrow, after a long sleep, everything will be much better.”

I really believed in this, because when I'm rested, it's much easier to cope with any test that life throws at me. Maybe I felt tired and bored, that was just a bad move and I could screw everything up - if I haven't done it yet - but tomorrow, fresh, I will definitely see things in a better light. 

"Okay," Noah agreed thoughtfully, then grabbed his wallet and hopped out of the car. “A cappuccino, as you said. Anything else?” he asked with a smile as he leaned in the door.

“A chocolate chip cookie, please.”  I returned his smile when he nodded. 

He put on his sunglasses and pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head. While he went into the store, I got out to stretch my legs and smoke a cigarette. 

I was already getting back in the car when I saw Noah exit the small shop at the gas station and start heading back, but it seemed I wasn't the only one who noticed. He was stopped by a middle-aged woman with long red hair and a younger girl. I could tell by their body language how excited they were when they started talking. His presence has probably made their day better, but maybe even their whole week. I watched him as he bent down a little so the height difference would not be too disturbing, as he smiled restrainedly, but kindly, and paid attention to them. I felt a pleasant feeling move in my chest because I was in such an advantageous position that I could receive this attention at any time. Noah nodded, then smiled as they took a few selfies, he held the phone with his long arm. He pulled his hoodie up over his forearms, the muscles on which were tense and his dark tattoos glistened in the sunlight. His hair fell forward as they checked to see if the pictures were okay, and I wondered if I had ever felt as much desire for another man as I did for him. The answer was clearly no. 

In high school, we were told a thousand times that we were gay because of our long hair and eccentric style, but I never seriously thought about the possibility, because for me the girls were interesting enough, anyone could say anything. Our friends also looked at us strangely when they found out that I lived with my best friend, but they didn't ask about it too much. Did Noah feel the same way? I remember a long time ago, at a party, he kissed a guy, but it was just a silly, drunken challenge, not a real kiss, and it didn't last more than a few seconds. He always had girlfriends and it never occurred to me that he might even be bisexual. And then there was Noah's mom…who loved to attack our friendship and all the good things that happened to her son.

It all started when two boys started teasing Noah at school, and one of my friends and I listened to it all. They made rude comments about his hair and figure, and when that didn't get enough of an impact and reaction, they started teasing him about having Asian blood in his veins. He was told that it was indeterminate whether he was a boy or a girl, just like in Japanese anime. I think this was the point where even though I hated conflict, I had to step in because I absolutely loved anime. And I didn't understand why you couldn't leave a boy alone who just wanted to write his homework. 

It only took a couple of well-selected sentences from Davis and a few condescending glances from me to make the young boys go away in defeat. They wisely decided that it was pointless to confront the three of us, especially since my friend and I were several years older. We had a fist-bump with Davis, who immediately left for class, and only then did I turn to the boy, who got up from the bench and started packing his things back into his bag. His hair fell into his face as he leaned forward, his movements looking nervous. I've never been the type to initiate acquaintances. I hated big company and could only really open up to a small circle of friends, but… I felt I had to open up to him. Little did I know then that I was making the best decision of my life. 

“By the way, I'm Nicholas,” I tried to lighten his mood a little. “My friends usually just call me Nick.”

The boy finally stopped and slowly turned towards me. He brushed his hair away from his face with long, thin fingers, revealing dark eyes, pouty pink lips, and the sweetest nose I'd ever seen.

"I could have dealt with them alone," he declared instead of introducing himself. I wasn't mad at him though, I knew he was still in passive aggressive defense mode.

“I know,” I answered and smiled cautiously. I didn't want him to feel like I was laughing at him. “But I am desperately collecting friends who like anime.”

With this, I managed to remove some of the storm clouds from his face.

“How many friends do you have like that, Nick?” he asked with interest, tilting his head slightly to the side.

“I hope you will be the first,” I answered honestly, for which I received a bright smile in response.

"Noah," he said, twisting his fingers, turning his gaze to the ground. "I mean, that's my name," he added, laughing nervously, looking up at me again. 

"Noah," I said his name, just to know how it felt. I loved it. 

In the weeks that followed, Noah easily fit into my group of friends. No one really noticed that he was three years younger than us. Even then he was almost as tall as me, and much more mature than his age would have suggested.

The summer holidays were approaching, the students were less and less focused on studying and wanted to stay more and more outdoors. I couldn't wait for the bell to ring from our last class on Friday and it would be the weekend. Not because I wanted to party - I've never been a party animal - but so that I can finally get a good night's sleep and draw as much as I like. I was decorating the edge of my notebook throughout math class, and when the bell finally rang, I was one of the first to get up, threw my things into my bag, said goodbye to the two boys I had been friends with for years, and stepped out into the hallway. Noah was leaning against the railing waiting for me, drinking a can of Coke and smiling when he saw me.

"Thanks for waiting," I told him as we walked out of the building. “This math class was dead boring.”

"I can't say that this was the most exciting day of my life either," he answered, smoothing his shoulder-length brown hair behind his ears. “But maybe it will get better from now on.”

“For sure. It is even more fun to sit in the church and listen to the teacher about nonsense.”

"Brr, don't even mention the church," he said with disgust on his face. I laughed to myself as he wrinkled his freckled nose, pursed his lips, and was visibly sick of even the thought. He said that his grandparents, with whom he lived, were very religious and forced him to participate in church work, even if it’s about repairs or fundraising.

We walked down to the front of the building when a bunch of young boys turned to us and giggled as we passed them. I saw in Noah that he was uncertain for a fleeting moment, but then he kept his head up and walked confidently.

“You shouldn't show off with me,” he remarked when we left the gate. “You must have noticed that I am not the most popular student.”

“Don't think I'm afraid of your classmates in diapers,” I snorted, touching my pockets. I couldn't wait to finally light a cigarette. I found the box with the lighter inside and took out a cigarette. I noticed Noah reach out his hand as well, causing my eyebrows to rise to the center of my forehead.

“What is that?” Noah asked.

“Aren't you too young for that?”

He just rolled his eyes, then grabbed my wrist where I was holding the box and took out a cigarette. He lit it with practiced movements and blew the first puff of smoke into my face, making me roll my eyes. 

“Just because you're older, you don't have to play the adult.”

“Just because I smoke is not an example to be followed,”I retorted, but I couldn't take this conversation seriously either, and by the end we both laughed at each other.

“Don't worry, I already smoked before I met you.”

“Huh,” I squeezed my hand dramatically towards my chest. “Now a huge stone fell from my heart. I was already beginning to think that I had led you into trouble during our short acquaintance.”

“My grandparents won't be coming home until Sunday,” Noah explained as we got to their house. I looked up at the two-story building, which was surrounded by a large, well-kept garden, and nodded approvingly. It was the first time I visited them, only three weeks had passed since we met in the schoolyard.

"I guessed you were a little prince," I said with feigned seriousness. The house was about twice the size of the one I lived in with my parents and four siblings. Noah snorted, but didn't answer anything, he just opened the door with his key, and then we entered the hall one after the other. Even next to the coat hanger, the face of Jesus greeted me on the wall. It seemed that Noah was not exaggerating when he spoke about his grandparents' religiosity. I kicked off my shoes and continued to look around while Noah struggled with his tangled shoelaces.

“Who is she?” I asked, pointing to a beautiful woman in one of the paintings. Her brown hair was at least down to her waist and she wore a blood red cloak over her long dress which she held in her hands at her chest.

"Mary Magdalene," Noah answered as he straightened up. “She…”

"Many people believe that she was Jesus' lover," said a woman's voice behind us, and we both turned on our heels in surprise. "Hello, I'm Noah's mother, Elizabeth," the owner of the voice extended her hand to me with a soft smile on her lips. Her light brown hair was tied back in a bun, her nails were painted bright pink, and she wore a short black dress that showed off her long thighs. She looked barely over thirty, I would never have guessed she was Noah's mother. I would have guessed it was his sister.

“Good afternoon. I'm Nicholas,” I shook her hand politely. Her skin was hot and slightly clammy, her grip strong. Then we both turned to Noah, who was standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest, not moving.

“Don't you welcome your mother?” asked the woman, raising the glass filled with whiskey she was holding to her mouth with a smile.

“Why are you here? “Noah asked, but his voice was barely above a whisper.

“I don't have the right to visit my son?” Since Noah didn't appreciate any reaction, she drained the rest of the drink from her glass and continued: “Your grandmother mentioned that you will be alone. I thought this would be the perfect time to get back together.”

When Noah told me about his bad relationship with his mother, I thought they didn't get along because of some sort of teenage rebellion. I never thought that Noah could act so cold with someone when I got to know him so friendly and kind in the last few weeks. 

I followed him up the stairs with furrowed brows as he started without saying a word to his mother. When we entered his room, he immediately locked the door and collapsed on the bed, broken. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't know she would be here.”

“It's okay,” I reassured him immediately and fell down next to him. "She doesn't seems that bad," I added, but I saw that pained smile on Noah's face that I haven't been able to get out of my head since, and I kept seeing it in my mind as his mother stabbed him in the back over and over again just to see him suffer. 

I stood up and walked over to the bookshelf to look through his manga. He said he would be happy to lend me any of them if I wanted to read them, and I chose two. Afterwards, I sat back next to him and we were talking about school, when my sketchbook, in which I used to draw, came up.

“Shall I show you?” I asked Noah. His face lit up as he nodded, so I reached for the ceiling and pulled my t-shirt over my head. Noah leaned very close to my shoulder, which was decorated with a fresh tattoo. My first tattoo, a beautifully crafted bird wing.

“I want to tattoo my entire arm,” I explained to him, while he touched my skin, as if he wanted to test whether it feels different over the tattoo. - I designed this too, and if I collect the money for it, we will continue. Maybe one day I'll be a tattoo artist, who knows…”

Noah nodded and struggled to break his gaze to look up at me.

“Your drawings are very good, there is no doubt that you have a talent for it,” he said honestly. “I want a tattoo too.” He bit his lip as he thought. Then he slowly pulled up his t-shirt and placed his index finger on one of the small scars on his chest.

“Do you think these could be covered? There was this car accident and… I broke a few ribs, and then in the hospital they put tubes in… here too,” he smoothed a hand over the side of his chest. “Although the doctors said that it will almost completely disappear by the time I grow up, I still want something on it.”

I didn't know that particular accident was so serious that he lost his father and everyone died except him. I had no idea, it had been many months have passed before he told me about that summer day.

 

“They can surely make it disappear,” I answered him, while my gaze involuntarily fell on his ribs, which almost pierced his skin. Noah might have noticed because he quickly readjusted his shirt and wrapped his arms around himself defensively. I hated myself for making him uncomfortable, it was the last thing I wanted. I also put on my t-shirt and smiled at him from under my eyelashes.

“Can I have some tea now?” I referred to his offer from half an hour before. Noah nodded enthusiastically, and while he ran down to the kitchen, I picked up one of the manga and started flipping through the pages. He left the door ajar, so I heard him approach cautiously after five minutes, probably to avoid spilling the contents of the mug on himself. I looked down at the bottom of the page I was reading, noted the page number, and closed the book. Then I heard Noah's mother's voice. His speech was slurred, I could tell even though he was half-whispering.

“Your grandmother must be proud of you for being gay. She must be happy to tell it in church.” The smile immediately melted from my face and I sat frozen on the bed. “Look at me when I talk to you!” Elizabeth didn't even try to suppress her voice.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Noah said quietly. His voice was laced with pleading and fear. My throat tightened. “Please…”

“More about who. Nicholas, if I remember his name correctly. Why would you bring a boy here and shut him up in your room?”

“Nick is my friend.”

“Who would want to be friends with you, baby?” asked the woman almost regretfully. “You are so naive, Noah. Everyone has an ulterior motive.”

My hands were clenched into fists, my blood pressure skyrocketed, and yet I didn't move. I was held back by my good upbringing, by the fact that my parents taught me to be obedient to adults. Later, I regretted a thousand times that I didn't stand by Noah and get him out of that family right away. That place was equal to hell on earth. I heard a door close and Noah finally entered the room. His hands were shaking, the tea between his fingers spilled onto the floor, but his face remained completely emotionless. I jumped off the bed and took the mug from him so he wouldn't drop it. This time, I locked the door and took out a pocket of tissue from my bag. He accepted without a word, wiped his hand, then threw it away and we sat next to each other on the bed.

"If you don't feel like staying, I won't be mad if you go home," he said without looking at me. He knew I heard every word of the conversation. His fingers dug into his thighs and his face went completely pale. I didn't really know what to do in such a situation. I felt uncomfortable, I was angry, but I wanted to help him feel good again. This was the most important thing, because over the weeks I slowly began to become completely addicted to his smile. I put the tea on the table and turned to him.

“Would you like me to go home?” I asked him because I had to know what he wanted.

Noah finally looked up at me. Unshed tears glistened in his eyes, his lips trembled. 

“No. I want you to stay.”

His voice was childish, not the confident teenager I knew from school. I quickly realized that it was just a disguise, but I was relieved to hear his answer, because I would not have liked to leave him alone with that woman.

“Then I'll stay,” I answered and slowly smiled. It took a few seconds for him to return the smile, and even though it didn't quite reach his eyes, I was satisfied with that. “Which anime would you like?” I stood up and started watching the DVDs packed under the TV.

“Choose something. Surprise me,” he replied with a slight challenge in his eyes.

It was the first and last time we went to their place after school. Afterwards, we always ended up at our house, and Noah didn't seem bothered by my loud brother, my hysterical little sisters, or the fact that the hot water kept running out late at night and we were forced to take cold showers if we were immersed in the conversation. If the milk ran out in the morning, he made his porridge with water and didn't complain if we had toast for lunch. I noticed how strange it was when mom or I hugged him. Like he doesn't know what to do with it all and is confused. But it only took a few weeks for all of that to change and he almost started demanding touches. 

Noah walked to the car and turned back to make sure no one was following him before getting in. I followed his approaching steps with half-closed eyes, trying to figure out what had changed. Where was the tipping point when I started finding him attractive. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't figure it out and that only made me more frustrated. Noah got in and handed me the coffee and the paper bag, then pulled the hood off his head. 

“I hope it didn't get too cold,” he said with an apologetic smile.

I tiredly returned his smile and handed the biscuit back to him.

“Half of it is yours. And thank you.”

He didn't argue for a second that I wanted to share the dessert with him. He began to eat the cookie with gusto, while I drank my coffee thoughtfully.

“Noah…we'll be fine, right?” I suddenly asked out of nowhere. My voice sounded so scared that I was surprised by it. 

He looked at me confused, with a small crumb on his mouth that I was tempted to wipe off, but luckily he licked it off before I could move. He swallowed the bite and looked deep into my eyes. 

“Whatever happens, we will always be here for each other. You are the only sure point in my life. Believe me, I will do everything to be your sure point.”

I nodded and closed my eyes again. I think that was enough to make me feel better, if only a little.

[clevelcnds]

forgiveness- justin jefferson

( NOT MY GIF)

justin jefferson x fem!reader

hey! this is my first ever fic on here! so go easy on me lol. i also think this is the first justin jefferson fiction on here. ( which is criminal)

authors note: excuse grammer errors, i’m not the best at writing. lower case is intended!

warnings: none!

it was NFL honors night. you were presenting the offensive player of the year award. being an NFL reporter in all, they had invited you to do so.

you were excited obviously, but the thought of seeing justin scared you. made you worry. the last time the both of you were in the same room, you were crying. he had broken things off for no reason at all.

that was six months ago. he had been spotted with another woman a couple of times during those months, especially three weeks after. you didn't understand how could he move on so fast? while you still were not the same?

you remember that night. the night he broke your heart. after everything you both had been through. justin had left... just like that. left you, just like that.

when justin was spotted with another woman three weeks later. your heart sank. maybe he didn't cheat, but the articles, and the photos that were spread all over the internet, hurt.

the both of you were secret. no one knew of the relationship you had between each other. except for friends and teammates. so when justin was spotted with another woman. people praised him. which again hurt. they didn't know how hurt he truly made you.

of course, justin would win the award. everyone knew that. the year he had? it was like no other. that really meant there was no turning back, you had to come face to face with him. the man who broke your heart.

you were getting ready. applying lipgloss to your lips as taylor swift's music played in the background. the honors were starting soon.

once finished, you grabbed your purse and phone and headed out the door. it wasn't far from the hotel the NFL had put you in.

it was a nice hotel, the nfl treated reporters right thankfully. the uber had arrived where the honors were taking place. you tipped the driver and walked into the symphony hall.

you pushed your way through the people. and found your assigned seat. the time of announcing the award wasn't up quite yet.

kelly clarkson was hosting the show. you always admired her work. she was talented and funny. opening the show up.

as each award was announced you became more and more anxious. it was almost time. the crew had pulled you backstage with micah who was also announcing the awed with you. so maybe that would help a little.

"you okay?" micah asked grabbing your attention. he noticed something was up with you. but why would you tell him? you barely knew each other. it was gonna be weird if you told him.

"yeah. thank you."

micah gave a smile "just wanted to make sure."

"you both can get on the stage now. y/n you'll be handing the award over." the crew member told you handing the award over.

great you thought.

the both of you walked on stage. a fake smile appeared on your lips. micah had spoken first and you followed along.

they had played a video of all of the nominees. once it was done micah opened the envelope of the winner, of course just like you thought. it was justin jefferson. the crowd clapped, including you.

micah greeted him first congratulating him. until his eyes landed on you. scanning your outfit giving you a smile.

justin pulled you into a hug. his arms wrapped around your shorter frame leaning down to whisper in your ear "you look breathtaking tonight love."

you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel anything. chills ran down your body. the feeling of his arms wrapping around you. the feeling of his hot breath against your skin. those words he spoke.

the both of you pulled away. the same fake smile still on your lips "congratulations." you told him as you handed the award over to him.

"thank you love."

damn that nickname he gave you. justin still was using it six months after he decided to break up with you. why? you honestly had no clue. but ignored it as he started his speech.

you and micah walked off the stage. you were the first one. needing some fresh air you walked out of the building.

the chill air hit you. your eyes looked up at the sky. the stars were out, it was beautiful. breathtaking actually. you loved looking at the stars.

"beautiful yeah?" a familiar voice spoke, justin. he walked towards you. how did he find you? it wasn't like he followed.

"you need something? i just wanna be alone." you told him taking a deep breath "how did you find me anyway?"

"i know you. plus micah told me where."

"you still didn't answer my question. you need something?" you looked up at him, finally. he was much closer than you thought.

"i can't talk to you?"

"you can try but i'm not listening. if you wanna talk to someone go talk to one of your girls i bet they'd be happy."

justin laughed at your comment "still have that attitude i see."

"i miss you." justin admitted grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. a shock went through your body at his touch.

"do you? really because i remember the last time we saw each other you broke up with me... for no reason at all. broke my heart. then a few weeks later you had another woman attached to your arm."

justin let out a shaky breath "i know and i regret it deeply. but i need to explain. will you let me?"

you nodded as he waited for approval. no matter what, you needed to know why. why all those things happened?

"i thought you were better without me and my problems. that i wasn't worthy of your love. you're a great person y/n. you have a huge heart. and i thought leaving you would be for the better.. but now i realize that it was wrong. that i should've never done that to you." justin explained which made you speechless. you didn't know what to say.

until you spoke "justin. i'd never be better without you. ever no matter what. you make me better honestly. but you did hurt me deeply."

"i'm sorry i- i understand if you don't wanna make things work.. but i really want to try.. i miss you so much it hurts." he paused before continuing "i do understand though if you moved on or if you're... "

"if you were gonna say what i think you were no. i don't have a boyfriend." you laughed "and yeah i'd like to try things again."

justin smiled pulling you into a kiss. a passionate one at that. his hands trailed down your body. which again sent chills down your body.

when you both finally pulled apart. catching their breaths before justin spoke. "i really meant it, you look absolutely beautiful tonight. took my breath away."

a hint of red rushed to your cheeks "thank you.."

"this might be too soon... but can i take you back to my room? i'd love to make it up to you.." justin confessed placing a kiss on your neck.

"it's not too soon. at all."

justin smiled pulling you with him. as they booked an uber going back to his hotel. you had missed him so much.

[pickledpascal]

Bewitched

Chapter Four: When the Day Met the Night

Warnings: slurs but mostly fluff somehow

Word Count: 2.5k

Bewitched Masterlist

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

True to her word, Emily arrived by plane in Montana the following weekend. Well, it was actually Thursday morning but Emily had a few excused absences she could use up. Beau picked her up from the airport with coffee and a few different pastries from his new favorite café. All thanks to Kiera.

Emily sighed happily after her first sip. Beau got her a hot chocolate, something he hadn't tried before but thought it would be nice in the cold weather. He knew Emily drank coffee, occasionally, but didn't want to get her hooked at a young age. 

“Good?” Beau asked as he adjusted his hands on the steering wheel, glancing her way.

Emily nodded with a contented smile, keeping both hands on the warm cardboard cup. “It's so good. This the place you and Kiera met at?” She asked smugly. 

Beau rolled his eyes. She knew the answer. She just wanted him to admit it. “Yeah.” He said after a while. “But I stayed for the really good croissants and danishes.” 

“Sure,” Emily said, doubtful. “Totally not because there was a hot, tall goth girl with piercings and platform boots that only made her taller.” She teased with knowing eyes.

“Wait, how'd you know about the boots?” Beau blinked.

Emily smirked, “That was just a guess.” 

Beau let out a forced cough and looked away from Emily, turning the volume up on his radio. “Wow, that's—um—you like Taylor Swift, right? What's this song called?” He knew it was on a pop station but he couldn't recognize what song was playing. 

“Willow.” Emily stared at her father, amusement in her eyes. She'd never seen him quite like this before. Flustered. All because of a woman. A woman he hadn't known for that long.

The truck stopped just outside the Airstream. Beau helped Emily take out her luggage and put it inside his trailer with a small sigh. Thankfully the park he stayed in provided Wifi for all the guests. Emily had some homework she wanted to get done. It was last minute, especially after Midterms and everything were done. 

“I finally have some food and a working grill so I can make you dinner tonight instead of getting takeout or something.” Beau offered Emily as she came out of the Airstream, one of his blankets around her shoulders. 

Emily hummed in response as she sat next to Beau. “Burgers would be nice.” 

Beau wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulder and pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Then burgers it'll be.” He leaned his head against hers. 

Having a simple moment like this made Beau's heart swell. It's been a while. A quiet, soft moment with Emily was few and far between these days. There was the part where they lived so far away and he couldn't travel too often as Sheriff. So he enjoyed it as best he could. Beau knew he would have to let go eventually. He just hoped it wouldn't be so soon. 

“You ever talk to mom about Kiera?” Emily asked softly, moving her head so it lay against Beau's shoulder. 

Beau shifted uncomfortably, pursing his lips. “Sometimes.” It's not that he still liked Carla, he just felt weird talking to a woman he used to love about a woman he currently has feelings for. “We're still… working out our relationship.” He wanted to stay friends, or friendly, with Carla for Emily. 

There was a moment where he thought he still loved her. 

But that was quickly shut down since Kiera came along. She was amazing, beautiful, nice—after he got to know her—and he fell for her. A little harder than he first expected but he couldn't exactly control it. What he was feeling. What he wanted to feel with Kiera. It was all so new yet familiar at the same time. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Beau grabbed it an looked at the caller ID. Kiera? He answered it, lifting the speaker to his ear. “Hey!”

“Yeah, hey!” Kiera's voice was harbored, breathing heavily. She was stressed, he could tell. “I'm really sorry to bother you right now but Dalia got in trouble at school—possible suspension or something—and I'm a little swamped at work right now. Would you mind going to the school for me?”

Beau blinked at her words. He knew Dalia was a handful but suspension, really? For a second grader? “Uh, yeah, sure. I'll be right there.” He glanced at Emily who was looking at him strangely. 

“Thank you!” Kiera sighed happily. “I'll see you after work.” He could imagine her shoulders slumped with relief. 

“Change of plans?” Emily asked as Beau hung up the phone. 

Beau shrugged apologetically. “Kiera's kid got in trouble at school,” He sighed and pressed a kiss to Emily's temple as he stood. “I gotta go get her.” 

Emily stood up as well. “If you're going, I'm going.”

Beau pursed his lips. It wasn't like he was taking Emily into a hornets nest but he wasn't completely sure what he was walking into—never was when it came to Dalia—and he wasn't sure he wanted Emily around for that. For a seven-year-old, Dalia was intense.

But he knew Emily was stubborn. Much like himself. Much like her mother. “Okay.” He said carefully. 

Emily and Beau arrived at the school. Beau parked his truck in the front, assuming that there was no need to find a space since they wouldn't be there too long. They walked into the front office where Beau did not see a certain dark-haired child clad in pastels waiting to be picked up. 

“Hi, um, I'm Beau Arlen and I'm here to pick up Dalia Styx.” Beau said to the lady at the front desk, his signature smile on his face.

The lady's eyes widened at the sight of him. “Right, Ms. Styx did say a Beau Arlen was coming,” She bit her lip as she looked down at her computer. “I didn't think she was telling the truth.” She whispered the last part but Beau could hear it. 

Everyone in Helena knew of Beau at this point. Whether that be because of the backpacker case he worked on with Cassie or any other, smaller case he worked on, it was nice to know he was known. Denise always said it was because he was the hot new Sheriff from Texas. That always made him flustered.

“Dalia is in the principal's office.” She explained as she adjusted her glasses. “I can show you the way.”

Beau glanced at Emily and nodded at the office lady. “Yeah, that'd be great.” He wondered what Dalia could've even done to end up in the principal's office. 

Beau and Emily were led into the office and down a few winding halls. How did the outside of the school look so small but this office was huge? They stopped at the end of the hall at a large wooden door, decorated a bit differently than the ones they passed. The hinges were brass at it had a large window in the middle that was covered by curtains on the other side. 

The office lady left as Beau opened the door. “Ah, Sheriff Arlen. Sit,” Said the principal—Mr. Pope. Beau saw the nameplate on his desk. “And you are?” His eyes shifted to Emily. 

“His daughter.” She responded, glancing to Dalia who sat in one of the two chairs in front of the principals desk. Her arms were crossed as she stared at the edge of the desk. 

Beau sat next to Dalia and pursed his lips. “Can you tell me what happened? Kiera wasn't too… descriptive on the phone.” He glanced at Dalia who seemed to be more regretful that she was caught.

Mr. Pope looked from Beau to Dalia. “Why don't you explain what happened?” 

Dalia pouted and rolled her eyes. “My classmate called my mommy a tranny so I called her a motherfucker.” Her eyes shined with pride and Beau had to resist the urge to laugh. “And then she told on me to the teacher. She said I said the B-word and I called her dumb because motherfucker doesn't start with b.” 

Mr. Pope looked from Dalia to Beau then up to Emily who was trying her best to suppress laughter. He narrowed his eyes at the teen. 

“Is suspension really necessary? From what she said, her classmate started it first.” Beau commented. He tried to reason. If anything, saying a slur should be enough reason to be suspended. 

Mr. Pope shook his head. “Dalia will be suspended for a week. Given that the holidays are soon, it'd give her more time for her to reflect on her actions.” 

“I won't.” Dalia smiled sweetly at her principal. “You're giving me more time to learn more from the books my mommy gets me. So thank you!” She jumped off her chair and slid her backpack on. She took Emily's hand and pulled her out of the office.

Beau watched and then turned to the principal. “We're gonna get her out of your hair so, um, bye.” He waved before he followed Dalia and Emily out of the school. 

He helped Dalia into the truck since she was weirdly short for someone related to Kiera. A woman so tall Beau questioned if she was taller than him some days, not that it'd matter. Or that he'd care. Alright, maybe he'd care a little. But not in the way that it emasculated him, no, he liked it. Liked it maybe a little too much. 

“You're really cool for a seven-year-old.” Emily said as Beau started to drive. She glanced back at Dalia through the rearview mirror.

Dalia shrugged. “My mom said I should just be myself and everyone would like me.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “At least, the people that mattered.”

Beau hummed as he looked at the center of his steering wheel, a fond look on his face. Kiera was so young and yet seemed so wise in the short time they'd known each other. Her life was tumultuous. He was starting to realize she needed to mature faster than he did. Faster than a lot of people he knew. And she wanted to give her daughter a semblance of a normal childhood, even with Dalia’s overactive imagination and strange interests. 

Dalia unbuckled herself as Beau parked his truck. She slammed open the door and ran up the porch. “I've been here before! I never knew you lived here.” She said excitedly. Beau cocked an eyebrow. “I wonder in the woods sometimes. I've seen this place, the pretty lights,” She looked up at the lights with wonder in her eyes. “The 1984 Airstream. The way it reflects the lights…” She hummed. 

Beau and Emily shared a look as they exited the truck. “You okay with staying here until your mom comes to pick you up, sweetheart?” Beau got on one knee to be level with Dalia.

“Yeah. You're gonna be my new dad soon anyway.” Dalia tilted her head, a crease between her eyebrows. The comment surprised Beau. “Actually, you'd be my first dad! Because my mommy wasn't ever really a daddy and I technically have two mommies. One who birthed me and the other who—” She stopped, looking up at Emily and Beau. They looked at her weirdly. “I know where babies come from. I read.”

Beau ruffled Dalia's hair with a big smile. “Yeah, I gathered that.”

“Mommy told me not to let a stranger touch my hair unless they ask.” Dalia pursed her lips in thought. “But you're not a stranger.”

“Dalia, do you wanna come read with me? I'm doing a book report on urban legends.” Emily suggested. She had a feeling Dalia would like it. 

Dalia grabbed Emily's hand and practically dragged her inside the Airstream. 

Beau watched and let out a sigh as the door closed. And locked. Okay. No disturbances. Beau sighed as he sat on his porch, clasping his hands between his knees. Dalia calling him dad, even if not completely, made Beau feel all kinds of things. Emily was the only child he wanted for a while. She was perfect. A handful still, even if she was just one girl. And then Kiera came into his life, inevitably bringing Dalia into it as well. 

She was a one-of-a-kind, that's for sure. A child whom her mother trusted so deeply that she would not get lost or killed in the woods, who stood up to people, and who knew a lot more than Beau could imagine. Maybe he did want more kids. Just Dalia. And her weird, dark, but fun, mind. 

Kiera walked up to Beau’s porch. He saw a retro-looking car next to his truck. It was painted black much like Kiera’s clothing choice.

“Thanks for getting Dalia,” Kiera smiled as she sat next to Beau, adjusting her coat. “What'd she do this time?” She asked with a small sigh. As if it was procedure at this point.

Beau bit the inside of his cheek, wrapping an arm around Kiera. “I don't think I'm at liberty to say.”

“That bad, huh?”

Beau shrugged. “Not exactly.” 

Kiera sighed and looked down at her knees. Her jaw was tightened and she was wringing her hands slightly. Beau was an oblivious man but was also observant. She was nervous. Second guessing herself. He had a clue as to why.

Beau held her closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Dalia stood up for you. A kid called you something bad. You're raising her right. Standing up for those you love, isn't that something you'd do?” He smiled warmly at Kiera as he lifted a hand to her cheek. 

Kiera lifted her eyes to meet Beau’s and let out a small sigh. “Yeah. I just–” She glanced down. “I wonder if putting Dalia in a public school is the right thing. I wonder if… I'm doing this wrong. She's so much smarter than me,” Beau listened, deciding that's mostly what Kiera needed at the moment. “I'm autistic too. But a different kind. She's the smart kind of autistic that likes reading books and learning and recognizing patterns while I just obsess over The Cure and The Cramps and only like eating Mac and Cheese for weeks until I change my safe food to something else. Why do you think I only wear black? I do like black. But colors just feel wrong. The–The textures of it, it's different and it's like I'm the only one who can feel it. Scratchy, weird, ugh, I hate it.” She rolled her shoulders in disgust, scrunching up her face.

Beau frowned at Kiera. He hadn't known about this yet. Well, a little of it. Dalia had inadvertently told him she and Kiera were on the spectrum but he didn't know the extent of it. This wasn't something he could change but it was something he could accommodate in his life. 

Beau sighed and pursed his lips. “You're doing the best you can. Unfortunately, sometimes, that's all we can do.” He rubbed Kiera's shoulder. 

“Is that what you tell yourself or do you lose yourself in self-loathing too?” Kiera asked. 

Emily snickered from behind the pair. Kiera and Beau turned to look at her. “Sorry, just—uh, I'm Emily.” She stuck out her hand for Kiera to shake. 

Kiera stood and accepted the hand with a small smile. “I know.” 

“Woah, she is tall.” Emily said before she could think. 

Beau chuckled as he stood next to Kiera. Dalia came running out of the Airstream and immediately hugged Kiera's legs. 

Kiera brushed Dalia’s hair away from her face as she squatted down to talk with her. “You alright?” She asked softly.

“Uh-huh! Emily was talking to me about the Hull House mansion which is said to be one of the most haunted places in America!” Dalia said excitedly with a nod of her head. 

Kiera looked up at Emily who was a little too distracted in seeing if her nails were chipped. “Was it fun?”

“Yeah! And, Beau,” Dalia turned to the cowboy. “The wolves like you.” 

Beau cocked his head. “Uh, thanks?” 

“No problem!” Dalia grinned. 

“Look, sweetheart, we gotta go. I don't want to intrude on father-daughter time as much as I already have.” Kiera said apologetically, patting Dalia’s shoulder. 

Emily looked at Beau who appeared like a kicked puppy. “We're having burgers.” She said as nonchalantly as possible. 

“Yeah, uh–” Beau smiled nervously. He still wasn't good at this. Kiera never failed to make him feel so… so weird. In a good way. Like he was in middle school and had just mustered up enough courage to ask his crush to the homecoming dance. “W-Would you like to stay for dinner? We are having burgers. You like burgers right? Unless you hate burgers—oh, you hate burgers.” His shoulders slumped.

“No, I like burgers.” Kiera chuckled, an amused smile on her face as she looked at Beau and Emily. 

Beau perked up and then nodded. “Great!”

Kiera looked down at her daughter. “Do you wanna have dinner with Beau and Emily?” She asked softly.

“Are they bison burgers?” Dalia looked up at Beau. He shook his head. “Then yes!” 

Emily held out her hand for Dalia to take. “We can make the mixture. My dad taught me the perfect recipe.” Dalia quickly ran over and entered the Airstream with Emily.

“Why is bison a bad thing?” Beau asked curiously.

Kiera wet her lips and rubbed at her arms to keep warm. “Bison was traditionally hunted by Native Americans before white colonizers decided to kill bison for sport, effectively cutting off one of our sources for food,” She explained with a sigh, “Montana is one of the only places that still have wild bison. Very few. And they're sometimes killed for meat. Dalia has the moral compass of a saint. Most times. She doesn't like to eat bison. She doesn't like eating any meat unless she can be certain it died of natural causes. However, there are exceptions.” 

Beau hummed. That child did have the moral compass of a saint. Doing what needs to be done and showing mercy on animals who don't deserve it. That sounded saintly to him. 

“That why you asked her if she wanted to eat with us tonight?” Beau cocked his head, taking Kiera's hand. Her skin was cold and he knew he attracted warmth. 

Kiera hummed in response. “Yeah. And she's been craving my squash stew for weeks but I can never find the right ingredients around here. I thought she'd say no.” She admitted as her eyes found Beau's. “She likes you. A lot.” Beau pursed his lips. He'd only interacted with her twice. But he could tell it was the truth. “One day you might end up as her favorite person. Too bad it's been me all her life.” She teased softly. 

Beau nudged Kiera with his shoulder and then pulled her close. “Who's your favorite person?”

“Right now? You.” Kiera murmured as she pressed a kiss to Beau's cheek.

He swore if he would've died right then and there and would've been happy. 

------

taglist: @deans-spinster-witch

taglist open here !!

[its-an-obsession]

Labyrinth

Stranger Things Masterlist | Full Masterlist

Summary: Being Billy Hargrove's ex-girlfriend wasn't something you'd like to be known for. Thankfully, after finally recovering from the relationship with Billy, you and Jonathan Byers found one another, and he's a constant reminder that he is the opposite of your ex.

Notes:

Y/N/N: Your Nick Name

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

Y/F/E/M: Your Favorite Eighties Movie

Charlie -> Your Sister

Warnings:

Slight language

Toxic relationship (doesn't go into detail)

Jonathan Byers x-readers

(Third Person View)

Y/N and her grandmother sat on the couch, watching her little sister for the evening. Her parents were gone for the weekend to attend some high school reunion. Billy and Y/N were to go to the movies later after Billy had a shift at the mechanic shop. Y/N's grandmother would stay for the rest of the night while Y/N goes out with her boyfriend.

A honk sounded from the end of the driveway. Y/N stood up from the couch to grab her purse beside the couch. "Have fun, love. We'll be here," her grandmother said. Y/N smiled and hugged her before kissing the top of Charlie's head. Y/N quickly left and headed to Billy's Camero.

She knew he'd get impatient if she was even one minute past their pick-up time. Billy didn't even meet her at the front, nor did he open the passenger door for her. "What movie are we seeing?" she asked, setting the pocketbook on her lap. He shrugged and pulled out of the neighborhood. Y/N held onto the armrest as he sped down the street.

Billy wasn't one to obey the speed limit. He often blamed it on the different limits in California. Y/N sighed, looking out at the sun. "What was that sigh for?" he asked. "Nothing. Just tired," she answered. He whipped down another street after surprisingly waiting at the light.

He never seemed to care about Y/N's feelings. She sometimes wondered why she was even dating him. Though, you can't blame her. At the beginning of their relationship, he appeared harmless. He presented himself as most guys she's dated before. He even had that smile that charmed every mom that came across him.

A fifty-five speed-limit sign caught Y/N's eye. She looked at the dashboard. The speedometer said he was going seventy miles. A few minutes passed, and he pulled into the parking lot of the theatre. "Oh, Tommy and Daniel are going to join us," Billy grabbed his wallet from the console.

He stepped out of the car, preventing her from answering. "Wait, What?" she said. He rolled his eyes and fixed the collar of his jacket. Tommy and Daniel got out of their car. Both of them were laughing to themselves.

It only hurts this much right now That was what I was thinking the whole time Breathe in, breathe through Breathe deep, breathe out

Y/N's so-called boyfriend walked over to his two friends. One of which used to be Steve's friend, up until Steve broke it off with Tommy and Carol. "Look at this pretty little thing," Daniel smirked. Billy put an arm around Y/N's shoulders, pulling her roughly against his chest. She faked a smile.

The four of them walked into the theatre and chose Fright Night. Billy's girlfriend wanted to watch Y/F/E/M, but neither of the boys wanted to. Billy sat between Tommy and Daniel while Y/N sat on the end. She glanced to her right to see Billy pull a blunt from his pocket.

Since the teens were sitting at the very top, Billy thought he could do anything. Tommy reached over and handed Daniel the lighter before giving it to Billy. Y/N rolled her eyes with crossed her arms. She looked at both exits to see if anyone would be coming through.

"You want one?" Daniel gestured the blunt towards Y/N. He held the lighter in the other hand. She shook her head and looked at the movie screen. "Bitch doesn't smoke. I keep telling her it won't fucking hurt her," Billy scoffed. She watched him as he ignored Tommy and Daniel's loud laughs. Y/N looked around the crowd to see if she could find someone she knew.

She hoped her best friend, Jonathan Byers, was in the audience with his brother Will. They would frequently see horror movies together. The trailers appeared before the movie actually began. Y/N hugged her arms, snacking on her favorite candy. She desperately tried to ignore the strong smells coming from the three boys.

I'll be getting over you my whole life You know how scared I am of elevators Never trust it if it rises fast It can't last

Y/N leaned forward to see what Billy was doing. Of course, his attention was on the blunt and the screen. Y/N glanced down at her watch, seeing that it was 5:30.

If she could sneak out, she'd be able to call one of her friends to swing by. The credits began playing, an eerie and unsettling melody in the background. Tommy snickered at something Daniel or Billy muttered. Y/N slipped her arms through the sleeves of her soft cardigan. She grabbed her purse and set the strap around her shoulder.

The boys were facing the opposite direction of her. She crouched and walked down the steps. Thankfully, the darkness of the theatre covered her figure. She sighed in relief when she exited. Y/N looked behind her every once in an awhile before spotting a phone booth.

She dropped some coins into the slot and dialed the Byers' number. Y/N leaned against the side. Her fingers fiddled with the long cord, her eyes focusing on the theatre door she came through. "Hello?" Jonathan greeted.

"Johnny, it's Y/N/N," she said. She heard him tell his mom that it was me calling. Y/N could already picture that cheery smile on her best friend's face she loved. They've known one another since they were in fifth grade. "What's up? Everything okay?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she replied, "Could you come to Hawkins Theatre and pick me up? I'm not feeling well and just want to come home."

Jonathan said of course and hung up the phone. She escaped through the theatre's entrance. It didn't take long until Jonathan appeared. He parked the car beside Y/N with a smile on his face. She noticed Will sitting in the back. He wore his favorite blue and red shirt.

His older brother glanced at him and then up at Y/N. He raised his brows and smiled. "Hey," he greeted (GIF Above), "Sorry. Will wanted to see you." Y/N waved to Will and sat in the front seat. When she stepped in, here came Billy and his uninvited buddies trailing behind.

Y/N shrunk in the seat with a hand covering her face. Jonathan glimpsed at the rearview mirror to see Billy heading over. Jonathan tore out of the spot and headed straight to Y/N's neighborhood. Y/N couldn't help but smile at Jonathan's constant reassurance that everything would be okay.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

During the entire ride to the Y/L/N household, Jonathan told Y/N that he wouldn't let Billy bother her. He knew the two of them had been in a rough spot lately. Will would chime in occasionally with a witty joke or a cute story about DND. Afterwards, the two hung out in her room while Will and Charlie played some card games.

______

(Y/N's Point of View, a few months later)

My back rested against the thick tree with my legs bent. After school, I decided to relax outside and catch up on some reading. My grandmother challenged me to try and finish six books by the end of the year. Jonathan had joined in as well, claiming that he could beat me. I was on my fifth book, and he was on his fourth.

So, it's pretty clear who's going to win. The wind brushed against me, causing goosebumps to rise. Charlie laughed as her Barbie 'flew' through the air. She ran around the yard singing to herself or speaking to her dolls like they were real. It's been a few months since the breakup with Billy.

After I left him at the theatre, it was difficult to even get a word in when we spoke the next day. Jonathan insisted on being there when I broke up with Billy, but not in the same room. He actually hid in my room while Billy and I spoke outside. My reading was interrupted by a car pulling up to my house.

It only feels this raw right now Lost in the labyrinth of my mind Break up, break free, break through, break down

I pulled my attention away from the book. Jonathan parked his car in the driveway. He had on his favorite green polo and tan khakis. "Hey," he greeted, plopping down beside me. "What're you reading?" Jonathan shrugged off his jean jacket. He folded it beside him and leaned against the tree with me. I kept a finger on the page, showing him the cover.

"Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt," I replied, "Nancy recommended it."

He nodded and took the book from me. Jonathan flipped it to the back to read the summary. "She's always got good recommendations," he said. I nodded in agreement and looked out at my sister. Charlie had made herself comfortable on the tree swing. She pushed her legs back and forth.

I had to tell her to not jump off a few times. Just a few months ago, she broke her arm from jumping too far. Even though she vowed to not do it again, we knew she would eventually. Charlie was eight, after all, and eight-year-olds don't typically listen. I set the book beside me when Jonathan handed it back. He set an arm around me. I smiled and rested my head against his shoulder.

You would break your back to make me break a smile You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that

I noticed Charlie lean back on the tire swing. "Ah, don't!" my voice was loud as I pointed a finger at her. She smirked mischievously and stared at me as she launched herself off the swing.

Her knees met the ground before jumping up. Her hands sat on her waist, her green eyes staring back at Jonathan and me. "Oh, you little...." I cut myself off when I jumped up from the ground. Charlie screamed and began running around as I chased her.

"Don't let the monster get you, Charlie!" Jonathan hollered, cupping his mouth. I turned to him with narrowed eyes. He grabbed his jacket and hid underneath it. Charlie looked up at me, her blonde hair slightly covering her eyes. I knelt before her and pushed the strands away from her pale face.

I tilted my head towards Jonathan. The corners of her mouth lifted when she caught on. "I think Johnny wants to play Duck, Duck, Goose," I said quietly. Charlie gasped and ran over to him. "Goose!" she screamed and whacked his head. "Ow-What!" Jonathan replied.

Charlie was a blur as she ran around the tree. You could practically hear her giggles from down the street. The two of them began chasing one another around the yard.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

A smile crept onto my face while I watched Jonathan play with my sister. Other than Steve, Jonathan had a way with kids. It made sense why our parents would pair Jonathan and me when someone needed to supervise their kids. Charlie squealed when he picked her up.

She was covered in grass. Her blue overalls were stained with mud and whatever she had for a snack. I noticed a few sticks and leaves stuck in her hair. Jonathan set her back to Earth and took the sticks out of her tangled locks. "Mom's gonna hate brushing her hair later," I commented, walking over to the two of them.

Charlie wrapped her arms around my waist, rubbing her head against my stomach. Jonathan looked at me with a wide smile on his face. "What?" I asked. My sister rested her chin on my stomach, gazing up at me. "Nothing. You just look really cute," he replied.

I felt my cheeks turn to a light shade of pink. Charlie shifted her eye line to me, then Jonathan. "Grody," she muttered. She took her arms off me and stepped over to the Barbies that were left on the porch stairs.

My mom walked out of the front door, wearing a pink and white apron. "Jonathan, care to stay for dinner? We're making your favorite," she winked. He opened his mouth to say something, but Charlie interrupted and claimed he'd love to. My mom ignored my sister's response to see what his response was.

"Yes. I would love to stay for dinner," he spoke for himself.

Charlie cheered. She waved her doll around, falling back. I could hear my mom curse when Charlie's hair collided with the grass. "Charlotte, why don't we get you cleaned up for dinner?" she called, using my sister's full name. My curly-haired sister sat up straight and shook her head in disagreement.

As on cue, my grandmother barged through the front door and grabbed Charlie by the arm. She shook her head as Charlie tried to get me and Jonathan to save her. "I'll call you two when dinner is ready," mom said, "Y/N, your dad should be here soon." I nodded and sat down against the tree.

The two of us grew quiet. We listened to the birds sing and the crickets chirping. The sun was just beginning to set. I could feel the Summer wind coming in for the night. Jonathan draped his jacket over me once he saw me tense up at the gust. "I think Charlie has a crush on you," I mentioned.

He laughed and shook his head. I turned to him with a grin on my face. "She does not," he denied. "Oh, she totally does," I argued playfully. Jonathan shoved my arm before covering his head so I couldn't hit back. Our laughing died down, which left the two of us just staring at one another.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

My mind immediately went to how my life was complete hell before Jonathan and I had gotten closer. It was weird. It was almost like one bad thing made us come together. Of course, the monsters from hell intervened at some point, but that's besides the point.

This whole thing reminded me of how scared I was of falling in love again. But I also knew that the person I loved was different from the first. I knew that Jonathan was the complete opposite of Billy. He reminded me of that every day. Jonathan would go out of his way to get me things he'd thought I'd like.

I mean, the other day he bought me my favorite candy and tickets to one of my favorite movies at a local drive-in. "I think I'm falling in love with you," I said. Jonathan smiled. His hand sat on the side of my face. He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead before lightly kissing me on the lips.

"I'm falling in love with you, too," he said.

Taglist: @b-ritney @ramaalkayyali @midnightstar-90

[surveysand]

five.

Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? no. i'm proud of myself for how well i've grew out of letting other peoples' opinions of me affect me.

Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday? i don't think so.

^If so, what was the best deal you got? i didn't shop.

Have you ever seen a spirit? no.

Are you happy that the year is coming to an end? this is clearly an older survey, lol. but time is going by so fast this year. june has gone on forever, though, it feels like.

Have you ever bought a designer purse? yes, i have a heart-shaped kate spade purse.

What color was your senior prom dress? blush pink.

Would you ever consider a career in writing? probably not. i'm not too creative.

Have you ever purchased a YouTuber’s merch? If so, what did you buy? i bought the jeffree star/shane dawson palette (ew.) when it was released, but other than that, no.

Are you better at spelling or writing? spelling.

If someone signed you up for karate lessons, would you take them? no.

What was the last movie you watched? Would you recommend it to people? disneynature african cats, lol. my partner and i wanted to watch a nature documentary while eating dinner.

Do you update your Facebook relationship status when it changes? yes.

Do you want your own house someday? yes.

Are you superstitious? no.

When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? sprite or sweet tea.

Have you ever thought about your wedding? yes.

Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? taylor! she's one of my absolute favorites.

Growing up, did you see your cousins often? yes.

Where was your first job at? a dorm at my university. i worked the front desk.

Ever seen your parents make out? no.

What’s your dream height and weight? i'm fine with my height. i do wish i weighed less, but don't have a specific number i would want to be.

What do you do when your house loses power? call my electric provider. i live in an apartment building, so i can't do anything if we were to lose power.

What piercing do you hate? none.

Were you raised in a religious house? yes, but not super religious.

Do your parents get mad when your on the computer for hours? no.

Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? yes.

What’s your favorite thing about your crush/bf/gf? too many things to list.

What’s the worst thing? his farts, lmfao.

What song can bring you down? "ronan" and "soon you'll get better", both by taylor swift. such sad songs.

What would you do if your parent hit you? i'd fight back now, but my parents would never, lol.

Ever see yourself going to jail? no.

Last song you sang? "nothing new" by taylor swift and phoebe bridgers.

Has the last person you kissed slept with more then 3 girls? no.

Ever been tested for any STDs? no.

Do you think it’s weird when girls change in front of their bf/gf? no.

Get a new camera or new phone? new phone. i have a fairly new phone (iphone 13), but i don't use cameras.

Last person that saw you naked (can’t be yourself): my partner.

Ever kissed someone half-naked? yes.

Is being sweaty nasty? yes.

Are your parents embarrassing? no, not really.

Do you prefer dating a virgin? Or a guy who’s been around? i have no preference.

Are you blond? yes.

Do you like bacon? no.

Do you have an annoying dog? he can be, but i don't mind.

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over? i never have read comics.

What is your favorite thing to do on your phone? listen to music or watch tiktoks.

What color was your first phone? black.

Was your first phone a flip phone? no.

If you’re a girl, have you ever had an embarrassing period story? yes. the first period i ever got was in fifth grade. i knew what they were and, had i have been home, would've put a pad on. i remember it was specifically towards christmas break because our last class of the day, we were decorating gingerbread houses. i felt wetness on my butt and thought it was maybe sweat because the heater was on and i was wearing sweatpants. i went to the bathroom before we went home and realized the wetness i felt was not sweat and was instead blood covering my ENTIRE ass. luckily, i had a sweatshirt wrapped around my waist that prevented anyone from seeing/it getting on my chair. i went home and immediately threw the pants and sweatshirt i had been wearing away, lol.

What was your worst experience in high school? losing my best friend. she didn't die, lol, but did something super fucked up that i could not stay friends with her because of. i had been friends with her since first grade and this happened halfway through my senior year. luckily, i had other friends i could fall back on who i am still so grateful for.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

begin again (lt. natasha “phoenix” trace)

a/n: i wrote this at one am while listening to lofi rainy day streams on YouTube and eating mini m&ms. this is self care. i am so in love with this woman someone help me. 

summary: after getting out of an abusive relationship, you’re not sure you’ll ever find love again. after meeting natasha trace, you watch the love story of your dreams begin.

fully, totally, and completely inspired by taylor swift’s “begin again”

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist

warnings: mentions of abusive/toxic relationship (kinda sorta), this was extraordinarily self-indulgent, implied bisexual reader, this is the cutest thing i’ve ever written, kissing, she’s a shorty but god my heart can’t take this, yes this is an actual Christmas tradition my family has

word count: 1,376

You took a deep breath in the mirror that was set just next to the door of your apartment, adjusting your necklace. You were going on a date with Natasha and you were nervous. You’d known Natasha through Bob, having known Bob as your sweet down-the-hall neighbor. After you and your ex broke up, you’d sworn you’d never date again, never risk that kind of hurt. You were certain you’d never find a love that would make you feel safe, feel whole. So why go through the heartbreak for an answer you already knew? 

Yet when Natasha was asking you out on a date the other night at a potluck Bob had pulled together, you find yourself struggling to say no. You were going to, had planned on it, but when you opened your mouth to let her down gently, to let her know that it wasn’t her, it was you, you... you had said yes instead before you knew what you were doing. There was something about the sweetness in her voice, the way her warm brown eyes twinkled that left you saying yes. 

So here you were, making last minute adjustments to your outfit (wearing a sweater he had hated), hoping she’d like it. You took a deep breath to remind yourself not to get your hopes up. It was one date, and honestly who’s to say it would even be any good? Taking one last look, you grabbed your purse and keys and headed out the front door. The cafe the two of you agreed to meet at was a few blocks from your apartment, and even though the day was chilly and slightly rainy, you were still looking forward to what awaited you after your walk. Still, you felt your heart pull downwards, not understanding the spring in your step, knowing she’d probably be late anyways. This probably didn’t mean that much to her. 

Yet there she was, standing off to the side of the counter, fidgeting with the sleeve of her top as you walked through the door. The bell jingled, catching her attention, and a smile lit up her face as she saw you. You walked towards her and she automatically pulled you into a hug. “You’re early.” You breathe, pulling back as your ake her in. She's wearing jeans, paired with a deep blue NAVY sweatshirt, hair pulled back into a loose braid. It’s casual and so unbelievably Natasha. She shrugs, a light blush coloring her cheeks. 

“Well, I got excited.” She says, taking you in. “You look good.” 

“You too.” You respond and she gives you a warm smile. 

“Oh, this-” She said, glancing down. “This is nothing.” Slipping her hand into yours, she leads you to the counter where you place your order, Natasha insisting on paying (something he never did). You move to take your seats, the barista promising to bring the drinks and snacks to the two of you soon. You try not to show how your heart is fluttering at the way her hand naturally fits into yours, fingers intertwined. She pulls out a chair, laughing gently as she waves her hand. You laugh lightly, trying not to think about the fact that he had never done this for you. 

“And they say chivalry is dead.” She laughs in response, and your cheeks warm, thinking about how much you loved that sound. You take in the cafe as the two of you talk, noting how the cafe is quiet but cozy as always, lights adorning the ceiling giving a comfortable glow to contrast the gloomy rain outside. Between the comfortable feeling of the environment and Natsha’s company, you could stay here forever. The barista soon arrives with your drinks and the pastries Nat insisted on getting. You’re discussing something that happened recently, a conversation between her and Hangman, when you make a witty remark, and her head’s thrown back in laughter. You try not to let it show how foreign this is to you, that someone might find you funny, but she sees it. She always does. 

“What?” She asks, smile fading. It’s still there, but much softer now, attention zeroed in on you. You shrug, picking at the danish in front of you, feeling a blush rise up your neck. 

“Nothing, it’s just...” He never found me funny. “No one’s ever laughed like that before.” She takes your hand from across the table, smiling softly at you. She squeezes your hand, the warm look in her eyes back. 

“I don’t know how anyone couldn’t.” She whispers. You feel yourself blushing harder. “You’re being shy today, you’re much quieter.” She comments. It’s not an accusation, just an observation. You shrug, intertwining her fingers with yours. 

“Just nervous.” It’s not the entire truth but it turns out it doesn’t matter much with her. 

“Don’t be.” She whispers, with that same smile of hers, that you’re finding is melting your heart and breaking down every wall you had built. As the date progresses, you can’t help but think how you were breaking every rule you had set, everything you swore to yourself would never happen again. But here you were, in this cafe with Nat, and you felt yourself letting your heart begin again to start over with someone new. 

As much as you would love to stay there forever, the two of you do have to part eventually and she takes your hand as the two of you leave the cafe. You think about bringing him up, telling her why you had been quiet today, but almost as if sensing what you’re going to do, she starts talking again as you walk towards her car. “You know, my family, every Christmas Eve, we’d gather to watch a movie before bed. It was this silly little movie, on the disc of something else, but it’s one of my favorite movies.” You’re laughing. 

“Don’t tell me it’s Twas the Night Before Christmas?” You ask, slowly forgetting about the man you were going to bring up. She’s laughing now too, looking at you. 

“You’ve seen it?” You nod, bringing her closer. 

“Of course I have.” The two of you are discussing Christmas movies the whole way up the hill to her car, laughter bouncing through the rainy street. You pause in front of her car, sad your time has come to an end. Her hands move from your hand to your waist cautiously, almost as if testing the waters. You respond by wrapping your ams around her shoulder, bringing her ever closer. 

“I had a really good time today.” She whispers, and there those brown eyes of hers go again, making your heart flutter in ways you swore it never would again. 

“Me too.” One of her hands is moving from its place on your waist to your cheek. She’s studying your for a moment, glancing down at your lips. You swallow, knowing where this is going. 

“I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s okay.” She whispers, as if anything louder will shatter the moment. You nod and then she’s gently pressing a kiss to your lips. It’s warm and gentle and sweet, a side of Natasha you had rarely gotten to see, but one you’d come to love nonetheless. You find yourself closing your eyes, one handing moving to the back of her head. Too soon, she’s pulling away, gently leaning her forehead against yours. Her thumb is gently caressing your cheek bone and you find yourself wishing for the moment to never end. 

“Nat, we should do this again sometime.” You whisper against her cheek. 

“The date or kissing?” She’s whispering back, her usual humor present. You snort, face leaning into the crook of her neck. 

“Would it be bad if I said both?” She’s shaking her head, the soft smile making a return. 

“I would love nothing more than do both again.” You pull back to look at her as her hands travel back down to your waist. You smile at her, taking in the moment. With the sounds of cars on the rainy pavement, the warmth in your stomach from laughter and happiness, the way her touch makes you feel safe, you realize that you don’t want to begin again with anyone else. 

[the-amazing-simp]

hi!!! can i req a story? andrew garfield x reader!! and can u base it on “the way i loved you” by taylor swift?? but DARKER… yk.. and tom can be the other guy

The Way I (Probably Still) Love You | A.G.

📝 Title: The Way I (Probably Still) Love You

📚 Requested: Yes/No

✍ Summary: It's been a month or two since you called it quits with Andrew. But, while in your new relationship, you find yourself missing the past more often than probably normal. | 3.9k

🧧 Warnings: Tom Holland x reader at first (ends with Andrew x reader and probably some in between), a fight, conflicted thoughts on relationships

🎶 This was inspired by “The Way I Loved You” by Taylor Swift.

💌 Flashbacks are in italics

Love should be exciting, right? 

Love should be keeping you on your toes, it should bring a whole new shade of color to the world. Love could literally be insane. 

Tom is so sensible and incredible. And you couldn’t ask for anything better. Right?

“Tom is such an amazing boyfriend right?” Your friend, Jessica, said as she took a sip of her coffee.

You shrugged, “He’s alright.” 

“Alright?” Your other friend, Marianne, asked flabbergasted, “Have you forgotten that you’re dating Tom Holland? Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your place and you just say he’s alright.” 

Raising your hand in mock surrender, you retorted, “What do you want me to say then?” 

Marianne wasn’t given a chance to reply as you heard a car honk, speak of the devil. 

Grabbing your purse, you stood up while giving both of you friends a hug, “Tom and I have to go, I’ll see you two next week.” 

Upon catching sight of you, Tom gave a smile as he raised a hand in greeting. Returning the smile, you pressed a kiss to his cheek when you got near before he opened the door of his car for you. 

“Thanks.” You muttered, climbing into the passenger seat while he got in the driver's seat.

“By the way.” Tom said, starting the engine, “You look beautiful tonight.” 

“Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.” You chuckled before looking out the window as Tom started driving.

The thing about compliments is whenever your ex-boyfriend, Andrew, gave you one - the butterflies would be flying around your stomach like mad. But with Tom, you felt perfectly fine.

–

“Next time, Andrew?” You asked, the frustration just growing with every passing moment, “This is the fifth ‘next time’ you’ve promised and nothing’s changed!” 

“What do you want me to do? It was an emergency, they needed me, what else was I supposed to do?” Andrew said, running a hand through his hair.

“What about me? Goddammit, it was our anniversary! The least you would’ve done was send me a text instead of letting me wait in the restaurant for 4 hours while looking like an idiot!” 

“We literally have the same job. You, out of all people, should understand.” 

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself, “One text Andrew was all I was asking. One text telling me that you would have to cancel and make it up to me or whatever. One text wouldn’t make the whole film crash and burn!” 

Andrew scoffed, “It’s like you don’t understand me anymore. Are you really that selfish?” 

Silence fell upon both of you as Andrew immediately regretted the words he let out, “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.” 

The tears you were trying to hold back were now running back your cheeks, pushing past your boyfriend, you couldn’t care less that it was raining cats and dogs outside. 

“Y/N, wait! Baby, please.” You could hear Andrew running after you in the pouring rain but you paid no mind to him.

He managed to catch up to you, grabbing you by the arm to turn around and face him, “Darling please, I’m sorry. I swear, I didn’t mean it. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” 

“Andrew, I’m trying hard to make this relationship work but it's like you don’t care, it’s like you don’t want us to work.” You said, not being able to distinguish between your tears and the raindrops anymore. 

“Of course I do,” He answered, voice cracking a bit, “Of course I want us to work. I’m so sorry, baby. I promise, I’ll try harder.” 

You nodded, whispering a small, “Okay.” before he pulled you in for a kiss in the pouring rain. 

“You don’t realize how this is so cliche right?” You joked in between breaks for air causing him to chuckle.

“I don’t care.” 

“Penny for your thoughts?” your boyfriend’s voice seemed faint, as if mixed in with the rest of the background chatter pulling you out of your train of thoughts. 

“Hm?” You asked, turning your attention back to Tom.

He shrugged, “You just seemed a little distracted. So, I was just wondering if you were okay.” 

“Ah.” You said, shaking your head, “It’s nothing important. I’m fine.” 

“Okay.” Tom nodded, “If you need someone to talk to, then just let me know okay?” 

“Okay.” 

–

It’s been about a month or two since you and Andrew decided that the two of you would be better off as friends. 

You were thankful that the two of you ended things on good terms, since that took away the awkwardness when you had accidental run intos. 

You were with your manager at a shop, having the dress you would wear for the upcoming premiere of your new movie fitted.

“You know, if acting hadn't turned out well for you then you’ve made it big as a model.” 

You immediately perked up at the voice of the person whom you hadn’t seen in months.

“Andrew!” You said with a smile, running to hug him, not minding if you were still wearing the dress.

“Hey!” He smiled, returning the hug then the two of you pulled away before it got longer than normal, “But, I’m serious. You look amazing!” 

You giggled, “Thank you. It’s actually what I’m wearing for the premiere.” 

“Oh.” Andrew said, “Then I have to say what an honor it is to be the first one to see it.” 

You laughed, “What’re you doing here anyway?” 

“Well, this is my cue to tell you that I’m here to get a suit because I will actually be attending the premiere of your movie.” He said.

“That’s amazing!” You grinned.

“Anyway,” He continued, running a hand through his hair, “How are you? Tom better be treating you right.” 

You nervously chuckled, “Yeah. Of course he is. He respects my space and never makes me wait. He also calls exactly when he says he will. He’s very charming and endearing. But, to be completely honest, I feel like there’s something missing.” 

Andrew furrowed his brows in confusion, “What’s missing?” 

“It’s just, I don’t really feel that roller coaster kinda rush whenever I’m around him.” You shrugged.

Unlike when I’m around you. You thought.

–

Another glance at the clock read 2 am.

You cursed under your breath, not being able to believe that you had become a person who compared their current relationship with their previous one and seemed to like the former more. 

You couldn’t believe that you were having this epiphany at 2 am.

You had come to realize that there was nothing wrong with your relationship with Tom but, the problem was it was too predictable.

Tom was sweet and all, you couldn’t deny that, but the rollercoaster you were on was just riding on a straight line; there were no loops or drops from a height. 

With Andrew, sure the two of you were met with bumps in the road at times, but everyday was packed with excitement, butterflies, fireworks and all of that jazz everyone gushes on about love - the only flaw had been your conflicting schedules and probably lack of proper communication.

You sighed, rubbing your forehead, were you a bad girlfriend for comparing your current relationship to your previous one? For seemingly wanting the previous one better?

Your phone suddenly rang, scaring you out of your wits. Glancing at the caller id, you saw that it was Tom - requesting for a video call.

Pressing the green camera, you gave a small smile to the camera as your boyfriend appeared on the screen. 

“Sorry,” He said, running a hand through his bed hair, “did I wake you?” 

You shook your head, “Not at all. I haven’t even slept yet.” 

“What were you doing? It’s literally 2 in the morning.” He asked.

You shrugged, “Just…thinking.” 

“About?” 

“Love.” 

“Huh, and what is your conclusion?” Tom asked.

You gave him a teasing smile, “Unless you have the ability to read minds, you won’t ever know.” 

“Oh come on.” He joked, causing the both of you to laugh.

“Love, I know you’re a night owl. But you need to sleep.” Andrew said, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Shh. I’m thinking.” You shushed him, causing him to laugh.

“If that’s a decision, sleep on it and decide tomorrow.” He said.

You rolled your eyes, turning around in his arms to face him, “What if it’s not a decision?” 

“Then head to bed and think about it tomorrow.” He pouted.

You giggled, “What if I forget about it tomorrow?” 

“Then write it down so you won’t forget.” Andrew whined, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Why do you seem so eager to get me into bed?” You asked.

He rolled his eyes, “Love, it’s half past two in the morning. I’m sleepy and I want to cuddle.” 

“Fine. But just because you're cute.”

“I thought you said that I was smoking hot?” 

“That too.” 

–

“Look here Y/N! Over here please!” The flashes seemed endless as you stood on the red carpet, posing for various cameras in the premiere of your new movie. 

Well, you did sign up for this in the first place. 

Tom then arrived by your side, wrapping an arm around your waist as the two of you continued to smile for the camera.

Once the two of you had managed to get away from the craziness of the paparazzi, you spotted Andrew by the side, giving him a small smile and a wave that he returned.

Turning back to Tom, you knew that he couldn’t see the smile of love you were faking with him. But at the same time, your heart wasn’t breaking because you didn’t feel any love for him in that way at all.

Looking at Andrew and the way he laughed with your costars, you knew that the love you had in your relationship and the love you had with him may have been wild and crazy. But that was the best love you ever had and it got away by some mistake.

You didn’t know if it was the appeal that Andrew had or just his simple ability to make you feel like the luckiest girl in the world with merely a smile.

The two of you were so in love that it made you a bit insane. But, that is the way you love him and that is the way he loves you. 

–

“Thank you so much for agreeing to meet up on such short notice.” You smiled gratefully at one of your closest friends, Emma Stone,  as you slid into the seat right across her.

“It’s no problem.” She said, “I wasn’t doing anything anyway and by your voice, I could tell that the matter was urgent.” 

“Well, you could say that it is urgent or I’m just having a mid-life crisis that is centered around my very complicated love life.” You joked. 

Emma laughed, “Let’s hear the story then before I decide the verdict.” 

You took a deep breath, “Promise not to judge me.” 

“Babe, when did I ever judge you?” She said.

“Okay then,” You started. “So, you know how I’m dating Tom now right?” 

Emma nodded, “Yeah.” 

“Don’t get me wrong, Tom’s so sweet and all but I just think that our relationship was missing that excitement that Andrew and I used to have. Then, that’s when I start going back through all the memories I have with Andrew and I kind of find myself craving the love that he gave me and all. And I have no idea if that makes me look like I’m still ‘hung up on my ex’ and all. Which in turn could make me look like a bad girlfriend. Oh, Em I’m going to go crazy.” You breathed out the words as quickly as you could. 

Emma chewed on her bottom lip, thinking things over carefully as you always trusted her to give you the right advice, “Well, let me ask you something, how do you feel about Tom?” 

“I love Tom, but maybe in a more platonic way?” You said.

She nodded carefully, looking like a detective trying to solve a mystery, which in this case - she probably really was.

“So, is it the kind of relationship between you and Tom the thing you want to change or is it also the person you’re in the relationship with?” She then asked.

You looked down at the small steam coming from your cup, “Maybe also the person? I do only see Tom as a friend.” 

Emma gave a small smile, “First of all, I don’t think that you’re still ‘hung over your ex’, but rather you just still love Andrew the way you did before. Now for the million dollar question, if you had already broken up with Tom and Andrew walked into this coffee shop right now and asked you to come back to him - will you?”

The answer just spilled out of your mouth, you didn’t even need to think it through, “Yes.” 

–

“We really need to talk.” You said as Andrew arrived, sitting across from you.

“I know.” He said, giving a small smile to try and enlighten the tension.

“So, I know that both of us had just been really busy these past weeks and all.” You started. 

“Yeah.” Andrew agreed with a nod, “And because of this, we can’t help but spend as little time with each other as possible.” 

“Exactly.” You said, “And I don’t want us to become one of those toxic couples who just get on each other's nerves all the time because of that. Which in turn, could lead us to even worse consequences.” 

Andrew bit his lip, “So, are you saying that we’re better off staying friends?” 

You shrugged, “Probably? Unless you want us to stay the way we are.” 

He seemed to hesitantly shake his head, “I mean, it would be better to salvage our friendship as it is than make things worse in the long run, right?” 

You sighed, patiently waiting for Tom while scrolling through your instagram. You may have slightly regretted breaking up with Andrew, but you were grateful for the fact that the two of you remained on good terms and stayed friends on a mutual agreement. 

“Hey darling.” Tom’s voice greeted, having you look up as he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. 

“Hi.” You gave him a small smile as he sat on the seat right across from you.

“So, you said you wanted to talk?” He asked after he got himself a cup of coffee.

You took a deep breath, hoping that Tom would take the news well, “I actually did.” 

Tom then casually looks around the bustling cafe, “And based on the location, I’m guessing this is something rather serious?” 

“Right on Sherlock.” You laughed.

“Anyway.” You breathed out, just wanting to rip the band-aid right away to get everything over with, “Tom, you know that you’re an amazing boyfriend and all and that a girl couldn’t ask for anything better. But, I feel like that I don’t really reciprocate the amount of love you give to me.” 

“Believe me, you do.” Tom cuts you off, “I know that everyone gets insecure sometimes but-”

“No, it’s not that.” You interrupted, “It’s just. I love you, but I see you as a friend and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to change.” 

There it was. The truth, the bandaid was immediately ripped off. Tom was quiet for a moment and you were watching his every move, trying to get at least a warning of what would happen next.

Actually, you had no idea what you were expecting. But, you couldn’t hide the look of surprise on your face when Tom broke out into a smile.

“I kinda figured it out.” He shrugged, no tension or awkwardness lingering between the two of you.

Your eyes widened at the revelation, “What? How?” 

“Well, lately you’ve been really quiet and you seem to be thinking very deep thoughts and all. And I also kinda noticed how you would smile brighter whenever Andrew was around and all.” He said.

“But don’t get me wrong,” He added upon seeing faint redness that broke out of your face, “I’m not mad or anything. I just found it…amusing that it took you so long to realize that you still love Andrew, and let me tell you, that guy still loves you. Also I was a big shipper of you and Andrew when you were together so I guess it's not a total loss if we can get that ship sailing again.” 

You laughed, shaking your head, “I’m glad you’re not mad at me Tom, but I’m not sure if Andrew feels the same way.” 

Tom playfully rolled his eyes at you before laughing, “Believe me Y/N, you may be blind to the way he looks at you, but trust me, his heart still belongs to you.” 

The two of you chatted for hours, it was as if you two were friends the whole time and no break-up had happened in the first place.

You gave Tom a hug when the two of you got up from your table, “Thank you for letting it end on good terms. I’m glad we can still stay friends.” 

He chuckled, “No problem. But, seriously, if you and Andrew don’t get back together I’ll lock you two in a closet until you do or risk facing my wrath.” 

–

It’s been two months since you and Tom decided to remain as friends but it took the press two weeks before they were able to cook up the news that the two of you had called it quits. 

When they had interviewed Tom about it, he had insisted that the two of you had very different paths to take and it was a mutual agreement for you to stay friends. 

Emma, on the other hand, was delighted that her advice was working once again as she also kept pestering you to talk to Andrew about how you still felt for him. 

“Em,” You sighed, your phone pressed to your ear as you plopped down on the couch, “Andrew and I are friends. Therefore, even if I still have feelings for him - I would just have to wait it out and bury them away because the chances of him still having feelings for me is almost close to zero.”

“Just trust me!” Emma said, the eye-roll could practically be heard in her voice, “The universe wants the two of you to get back together and I’m sure of it.” 

You laughed, “As if you’re the one who writes people’s destinies.” 

Later that night, you were boredly scrolling through Netflix, your next project didn’t start until next month so you had all the time in your hands. 

You were supposed to go out on a little walk, but your destination became the couch when it started to rain.

Nothing from the new releases piqued your interest, so you opted for a classic rom-com, Notting Hill.

You were already 30 minutes into the movie when a knock was heard on your door. 

Thinking it was the pizza you had ordered earlier, you paused the movie and opened the door. 

What you did not expect to see was Andrew standing there, a wistful look on his face while his clothes and hair were drenched from the rain.

“Andy!” You said, quickly ushering him into the apartment, “What’re you doing here? Hold on, let me get you a towel.” 

Having him sit down on a chair by the dining table, you ran into your bedroom to grab a spare towel and draped it around his shoulders.

“I was in the neighborhood,” He shrugged, giving a small smile, “And I thought I’d stop by then it started raining.” 

“You didn’t bring an umbrella?” You asked, heating up some coffee for him.

Andrew chuckled, “I can’t predict the weather, how on earth was I supposed to know that it was going to rain?” 

Jokingly tolling your eyes at him, you handed him the steaming cup, “That’s what the weather reports are for dork.” 

He laughed, muttering a small thank you as he took the cup and the doorbell rang.

“You’re expecting someone?” Andrew then asked, raising a brow at you.

You chuckled, shaking your head as you walked towards the door, “Just some pizza. In which, I would be cruel if I didn’t offer you some.” 

“It’s a good thing you know!” Andrew teased.

As it got deeper into the night, you and Andrew indulged in stories, pizza and laughs, it was just like the good times you had together. 

“So,” Andrew said, throwing the crust of the pizza slice he’d just eaten back into the box, “I heard you and Tom broke up?” 

You nodded, “Around two months ago.” 

He licked his lips, “So, how’re you?” 

“Well, as you can see, I am perfectly fine. I thought that Tom and I are better off as friends since I had come to realize that my heart belonged to someone else.” You said.

Andrew’s brows furrowed then he opened his mouth and closed it again, as if he wanted to say something. 

“I-I wasn’t in the neighborhood.” He admitted, “I had really meant to come over here.” 

“Why?” You asked, heart beating in anticipation.

“Well, I don’t mean to sound pathetic or anything.” He gave out a nervous chuckle, “But, the truth is, I still love you. I thought I would be able to move on if I just gave it time and all but I couldn’t. I still find myself thinking about you every second of the day, I still find myself wanting you, needing you. But when I told myself to just push those feelings away, because you were already happy with Tom and I could risk ruining the only relationship we had left - our friendship.” 

Andrew took a deep breath before continuing, “So, I consoled Emma about my feelings and all and today she just kept on pestering me to make a move and all. For a moment, I had the courage to do so but when I was faced with your door, I couldn’t.”

He took your hands into his, avoiding your gaze, “Don’t get me wrong, my friendship means the world to me and all but if you let me have a second chance, I promise that I’ll treat you better. I’ll put more time towards you and nothing in this universe would be more important than you. I don’t care if I’m on the other side of the world, give me just one call and I’ll come running to you. I’ll put more work into you, into us. If you do give me that second chance.” 

You giggled, trying to blink the tears out of your eyes causing him to look up at you confused.

“That’s why I broke up with Tom in the first place. It took me a while but I realized that my heart still belonged to you. And our relationship may have had bumps in the road but behind those bumps are the sweetest memories I’ve ever had in my entire life. Despite all the craziness, I realized that it was the way I loved you and the way I still do.”

“So, you’ll take me back?” 

“I’ve never wanted anything more.”

You could’ve sworn that the brightness of Andrew’s grin could’ve rivaled even the sun as the both of you slowly leaned forward.

Peter Parker and Andrew Garfield Taglist:

@beloved-bucky, @hunnybunimdun, @andrewgarfield2022, @jasmin7813, @andrewgarfieldsbae, @spxiiee, @shaded-echoes-recs, @holy-macncheese-balls, @mcugeekposts

[gretagolden]

platonic | josh kiszka

josh kiszka x fem!reader (or oc to be entirely honest, you can read it however you prefer)

summary: josh’s relationship with his best friend isn’t entirely platonic, and when the holidays make the drinks go down smoother, the things that go unspoken slip from tongues more freely. | word count: 1.5k

warnings: mentions of alcohol, hangovers, angst-ish, an undercurrent of smut of you squint – talk of sex/suggestive at best. 18+ though please!

notes: i was reading @ageoftambourine​ danny fic based on normal people like, last week? and anyways, it inspired me to do something based on the couple scenes that followed the one they wrote about! it kind of took a life of it’s own when i started to write it, but if you know the book/show i still think it’s pretty obvious – so inspiration credits fully to them and “normal people” by sally rooney. the spotify code should scan you to ‘tis the damn season by taylor swift, it’s mostly for the aesthetic, but if that’s your jam, by all means! <3

   she woke up to the sun shining through the window above the couch she lay on, her head pounding from the hostile morning light and the even more abrasive memories from the night before.

  god, she’d embarrassed herself. what had happened to just being josh’s friend? clearly it didn’t matter to her when she was drunk. she could remember it faintly in her memory now, asking him if the new girl she’d heard he was seeing was as good as she had been — practically begging him to sleep with her again, like they used to back in school. fuck. he’d blushed, but had just been amused by her nonetheless. he hadn’t taken her seriously in the slightest. she couldn’t tell if that was better or worse.

   she groaned then, both from her drunken shamelessness and the hungover condition it had left her in, reaching down to the velvet burgundy purse on the wooden floor next to couch she’d crashed on. she dug around for her phone without looking, and once she found it, clicked it on to reveal it had 5% battery left and a single, rare text from josh that read: “i’m coming back in the morning to bring you home. let me know when you’re up.”

   she sighed, replied to the imessage with a thumbs up reaction out of a loss for what else to say, and clicked it off to reabandon it in her purse. she sat up and remained there for a moment, head in her hands as the hazy memories slowly began to come back. when she pulled her hands away, she looked at the flaking mascara residue on her palms and decided then that she didn’t even want to know how she looked, avoiding her reflection in mirrors as she followed the scent of coffee to the kitchen.she thanked whatever soul had been sober enough to wake up and put a pot on, and hardly even cared that she was pouring lukewarm coffee into a red solo cup.

   she couldn’t do this every time he came home from tour. thinking it would be better to just be friends with him when he was going away, and immediately folding once he came back. was it folding if she initiated it? josh certainly didn’t seem to mind, either way. she had tried to resist him this time around, keep it strictly friends over the holidays the way they had been for the past year or so while she’d found another boyfriend — the boyfriend she broke up with forty five minutes before josh picked her up for the party. clearly that had been enough, she had swallowed her dignity and self resolve down with her third shot.

   she couldn’t help it, she had been mesmerized by him since she was a teenager. my god, she thought, when he looked at her it was like she was the only thing in the world he cared about. it was as though she was a ritual of comfort for him upon coming back, like touching her body was the moment he knew he was home — he reveled in it, even though he’d spent years at this point convincing himself that it was just some extreme sort of platonic adoration that they’d been the only ones on earth to figure out how to unlock. he’d told her that once, when he was drunk. she wished she could be as eloquent as he was when she was wasted.

  she’d found a way to distill it her mind; he was her best friend, she loved him in the way any best friend would love him. her favorite necklace simply also just happened to be his hand. now even thinking about it made her head pound, she couldn’t blame that solely on the hangover.

   she had slipped so deep into her thoughts she barely registered the other person who’d slipped into the kitchen quietly — a random boy, tired eyes and clad in a university of michigan hoodie and basketball shorts in the dead of winter. he gave her a curt nod and an awkward half-smile, and she returned the favor as she slid a few feet over from where she had leaned against the counter in front of the coffee pot so that he could access it.

  “sorry,” she muttered quietly. “no worries.” he offered. she nodded again slightly before zoning out again, staring at the white door of the kitchen, her eyes far off into space. when her phone dinged again, the other man was still in the kitchen as he poured cereal into a cheap bowl. she slipped out of the room unnoticed under the sound of frosted flakes landing against the synthetic plastic.

   josh was waiting for her by the path outside as she wrapped her coat around the velvet wrap dress she’d convinced herself would be warm enough the night before in a vodka haze after she’d left her boyfriends house. the sun made her squint  at her first unobstructed view of it, and josh couldn’t help but smile slightly at her reaction. “hey, pet.” he greeted her as she approached him, biting his lip back to suppress the smile that threaten to slip out at his friends’ obviously embarrassed demeanor. he looked at the red cup in her hands, “feelin’ alright?”

   she was hardly ever this demure. she blushed slightly and shook her head in embarassment as she stopped in front of her, she handed him the cup. she sighed, and made a small groan of dissatisfaction at herself as she put her head in her hands. “josh.” she whined.

  he breathed out a laugh then, pulled his other arm out of his pocket to reach out with his hand and pull her into him. she let him, leaning her face down into where his neck met his chest, her hands still covering her face and forcing a barrier between them. “i’m sorry.” she whispered.

 “nothin’ to be sorry for.” he shook his head and wrapped his arm around her

   she turned her head to the side, “it’s gonna be hard for us to be friends if i’m constantly trying to sleep with you.”

   “when was the first time you kissed me? sixteen, i think. we’ve been handling it okay.” he teased her, and then she groaned, pushing away from him. he followed, “it’s fine, really.”

  she’d begun to walk to his car parked on the curb. he rushed around to be in front of her, walking backwards. he continued, “you were just drunk.” 

  “i was being foolish.” she rationed.

   josh had leaned up against the passenger side of the door in between the car and his friend. he put the cup on the roof. she stood in front of him, and he took the opportunity to get a good look at her. flustered and pretty. he liked her like this, with her guard down and the shy sun of morning behind her. “i didn’t think so.”

   “you laughed at me.” she returned, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket

   josh took a deep breathe and looked up, “christ. i didn’t — it wasn’t malicious. i don’t ever think you’re foolish.” he reasoned evenly. he wasn’t mad, he was just talking. as horrible as they were with expressing genuine feelings, they could always do that; just talk. “i take you more seriously than i take the fucking band — but i wasn’t going to fuck you while you were drunk. i laughed because you had me flustered — you don’t say those kind of things usually.”

   “i think those kind of things.” she told him, without thinking. and then she winced, and looked down at her shoes to avoid his gaze. of course she’d gone and done it, embarrassed herself again.

  josh swallowed hard. this is what she always did to him, without even meaning to. the raw moments of honesty when things just fell out of her mouth — they made him buckle at the knees. as long as he’d known her, she’d always seemed so careful: so self-assured, measured, disciplined. and then there were the rare moments, like the one standing in front of him. it was a sliver of her he liked to believe only he had access to. it let him convince himself that he had the same effect on her that she had on him; the one that made him lose every inhibition he’d ever built.

   “come to mine.” he said, after silently chewing the inside of his mouth for some time. she could tell from his voice, it wasn’t a demand — it was never a demand. but she could never turn away his requests, either.

   her head snapped up at his words, “what?” she questioned quietly

 “you don’t have that boyfriend anymore, do you?” he asked.

   she stood there, suddenly at a lost for words. she shook her head. he stepped back, and opened up the passenger side door, “get in the car.”

  he looked at her. he was the only man who had never had to ask her twice.  

[chloelucia13]

Made of Ashes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Prompt: Faking your death wasn’t an easy thing to do, but SHIELD said that it had to be done. But you couldn’t stay out of the life you were born to have, even if it was risky. Even if it brought you face to face with the people who still believed that you were dead. Based off of “My Tears Ricochet” by Taylor Swift

Warnings: ANGST, a teensy bit of fluff, language, violence, gore, discussions of death (obviously)

Word Count: 5.1k 

A/N: We did it, boys, we’ve found another hyperfixation. Let’s see how long this lasts. Anyway, my tag lists and requests and DMs are always open! Hope you enjoy!

Death was never a foreign thing to you. It seemed to linger, its presence permeating every interaction and movement as if to remind you that you never know what could happen. 

Just because it wasn’t unfamiliar didn't mean that it wasn’t miserable, though. You’ve lost so many friends, family, and everything in-between and it never seemed to get any better.

You knew how painful it was, but you could never imagine the pain that you felt when you witnessed your own funeral. When you watched the people you love grieve over you while you were only feet from them but couldn’t comfort them.

You had watched their tears streak down their faces as they stared ahead at the closed casket, their cheeks glistening under the rays of sun that shone down on them. You watched their hands tremble as they showered individual roses onto the gleaming mahogany lid before returning to their seats with their heads bowed low. You watched the light sheen of sweat build on their skin that made them wonder if this heat was comparable to what you had felt.

They were told that you were caught in a building that Hydra had bombed, pinned underneath the falling debris as the flames rose as engulfed you. They were told that your body couldn’t be found, that it was most likely hidden under all of the rubble or turned to ash. They had to bury an empty casket.

The word had spread fast, and the wake that they’d planned on being a small gathering became flooded with familiar faces from around the galaxy. Basically everyone was there, eyes damp and hearts heavy.

In a car tucked away from the wake but still in view of it, you and Maria Hill watched their grieving in silence. “This is all for your safety,” she had explained to you, but the guilt of what she had to do was still lingering. You had nodded along to her word, but your mind was in another place. 

It was stuck in a whirlwind of panic, hurt, and confusion as you stared at the man who kept his distance from the crowd of Avengers, but his shoulders still shook with sobs as your casket was lowered into the ground. The man who gave you heaven and gave you hell. The man you swore you’d love until you died, even if you were already dead to him in his mind.

And to him, it was true.

You and Bucky had met when he was still the Winter Soldier, when he had dragged Steve from the water and dropped his limp body directly at your feet. You remember staring at him in a panic, unknowing of what he would do to you. He had stared you directly in the eye and gave you a nod before walking past you, leaving you with a seemingly-lifeless Steve.

That small, but meaningful, interaction had led you on a manhunt of sorts, devoting your free time to finding this “Bucky” that Steve spoke so fondly of.

After a couple of months, you came across a reported sighting of the Winter Soldier in Bucharest, though the man was not hostile. Immediately, you booked a flight there and, without telling another person, snuck off to find this supposed Winter Soldier.

You found him at a small market in the middle of town, your eyes locking with his as he lifted his gaze. The panic he felt from being seen was evident, but that panic seemed to melt away as a smile grew on your lips. He was still on alert, though, as you crossed the street and walked over to him. It was clear that he recognized you, but your gentle demeanor gave him a strange sense of comfort.

That first meeting had slowly built up to monthly visits that lasted for days at a time, the two of you nurturing a relationship that was kept hidden from the word, especially the Avengers.

The day that Bucky’s past life came rushing back, the two of you were on one of your monthly “dates,” as you’d jokingly called it.

The blue of his eyes had drawn you in for a moment too long, prompting a chuckle from him. You rolled your eyes and pursed your lips, turning your face from his so he couldn’t detect the blush blooming on your cheeks. “What, I can’t admire the beautiful sight before me?” you defensively hummed in Romanian, crossing your arms over your chest as your examined the baskets of fruit in front of you.

“I never said that,” he teased, playfully bumping your shoulder with his before turning to the woman running the fruit stand and asking her a few questions.

The woman handed Bucky a bag of plums and you both thanked her before walking down the street. “Plums?”

He nodded, shrugging slightly. “I figured we could make something with them.”

“I think there’s still some phyllo dough in the fridge.” He nodded, but his attention was clearly elsewhere. You followed his line of sight and saw a man sitting in a newspaper hut staring worriedly at Bucky. You touched his right arm and the two of you exchanged a glance before making your way over to the man. The moment he noticed the two of you stepping towards him, he retreated back before running out of his hut.

Bucky pulled the newspaper the man was reading off of the surface it rested on and held it out in front of him.

“Winter Soldier Cautat Pentru Bombardmentul Din Vienna”

“Bucky,” you spoke slowly, forcing yourself to tear your eyes from the paper so you could look up at his visibly shaken face.

“We need to go,” he grumbled, placing the paper face down and gripping onto your forearm.

The two of you walked at a hurried pace down the street that led up to his apartment, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible despite the fact that you both were shivering with fear.

After climbing the multiple flights of stairs with no one in sight, the tension slowly began to dissolve from the naive belief that they may not have tracked him down yet. His grip had loosened on your arm, as well, signifying that the fear had began to die down in his mind as well. The two of you silently slipped inside and closed the door behind you, letting out a soft sigh of relief when you could see that the apartment was empty. That breath hitched in your throat, though, when a pair of heavy footsteps echoed through the stairwell just outside the door. 

You nodded towards the bathroom door and he quickly pulled you into the small room, closing the door and tucking your form behind him. The creaking front door swung open and shut, and a shadow passed across the crack of the bathroom door. You gripped tightly onto the arm of Bucky’s canvas jacket and he placed his hand over yours, giving you a gentle nod. He led the two of you out of the bathroom and into the open space of the studio apartment, keeping your eyes trained on the familiar figure standing at the fridge that made your stomach turn.

After speaking out to what was most likely a voice in his ear, he turned on his heel to face you two.

You could tell from the look of pure bewilderment on his face that he absolutely was not expecting you to be there. “Y/N?” Steve questioned.

You gave him an awkward smile and a wave. “Hi,” you hummed with a simple nod.

A wave of emotions crossed over his face and he let out a sigh. “We don’t have time to talk about this right now.”

After the chase that led you, Bucky, Steve, and King T’Challa in prison, and the prison break that took place afterward, Bucky had kept his distance from you. He became cold, calloused to you. You figured that it was due to the stress of being framed for a crime he didn’t commit and the man who did commit it trying to tap into the Winter Soldier, but that didn't mean that it didn’t hurt. You’d spent months working on a relationship with this man who you loved more than you’d care to admit, all for it to be gone within moments.

But it didn’t go away, even after everything was taken care of and Bucky had came back to you.

The bright smile on your face couldn’t be suppressed when Steve and Bucky had came into view, both of them clearly exhausted from everything that had occurred. That exhaustion was tucked away, though, when Steve saw you standing there, and he quickly headed over to you and pulled you into a tight hug. You took his affection gratefully, the two of you chatting with equally wide smiles.

After about a minute or two, Steve told you that he had something to do before quickly slipping out of the room, leaving you and Bucky alone. Bucky stood a good distance from you, avoiding your gaze and keeping his stance rigid. It was obvious that he was still hurting, but you figured that your presence could cheer him up.

“Bucky,” you sighed, hurrying over to him and reaching out for a hug.

He turned away from your embrace, keeping his eyes on the ground and his face emotionless. 

“Buck?” You dropped your arms to your sides, brows furrowing in confusion as you attempted to search his face. He gave no expression, and you gave up on his face, instead glancing at his robotic arm that was no longer there. “Oh my god, your arm.”

“It’s fine,” he huffed, stepping away to stare out the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the landscape of Wakanda.

He was shutting you out, acting more rigid than he did when you two first met. Your lips pressed together as you walked over to the windows, keeping a few feet of distance between you two. “It’s beautiful here-”

“God, do you ever take a fucking hint?” 

You jumped from the tone of his voice, giving him a look of shock while his face, still, stayed flat. “What?”

“I don’t want you here. I want you to leave me alone.”

His words made your heart sink to your shoes, but there was a pestering itch in the back of your mind that made you push him further. “You don’t mean that.”

He stepped forward until you were backed up against the glass, placing an arm on each side of your body and caging you in. “Don’t I?” He let out a huff, eyes trained on yours which were brimming with tears. “You’ve ruined whatever chance I had at being normal. You found me, you led everyone to me, and you got me sucked back into all of this bullshit.”

You shook your head. “I just wanted to help.”

He scoffed. “You sure helped a lot.”

You blinked back the tears and clenched your jaw, giving him a look of spite. You averted your gaze for a moment, eyes catching on the small black cord that peeked out from his shirt. The cord that was so familiar because it was a necklace you’d gifted him. You let out a huff before shoving his arm out of your way and stomping away down the expansive hall.

On your way to your room that T’Challa had given you the key to earlier, you ran into Sam, who immediately noticed the anger and pain radiating off of you. “Whoa, whoa, cool it on the stomping there. You might just smash through the floor,” he teased and gripped your arm with a smile, but it fell when his eyes searched yours. “What’s wrong?”

“Go ask Bucky, because I sure as shit have no clue.”

Months after you’d left Bucky in Wakanda, your “funeral” had taken place, and it pained you that you were never able to resolve the issues that had divided you two. 

You tried your hardest to live your life as normal (well, as normally as you could while staying as underground as possible and basically living a completely different life than the one you previously had), but that plan had crumbled and turned to dust like half of the planet. You’d lost Hill and Fury, the  only people who knew that you were still alive and were actively working to keep you safe. At first, it was horrifying to know that no one would be watching your every move as you’d grown so used to it. But as time went on and you realized that you had to be somewhat present in society, you had finally felt the freedom that you’ve been held from for years.

You lived life under the new identity that Hill and Fury had previously given you (Sandra McMahan, 27, unemployed, living in Boston, Massachusetts), but you couldn’t give in to the normal life that was at your fingertips, so close yet so far away. Instead, you launched yourself headfirst into researching all of the people who turned to dust. It was clear that it was a result from something that the Avengers fought due to the multiple sightings of spacecrafts that were documented on Stark’s databases, but it proved to be much more devastating than you could’ve guessed.

All of your friends were either dead or missing, and you couldn’t help but feel the immense guilt from the thought that you could’ve saved them.

Five years had come and gone in a haze of misery and loneliness, each day blurring into the previous day and the next day. You tried your hardest to participate in a society that was struggling to cope with the devastating loss that had occurred, but most days you had failed to get out of bed.

You still vividly remember the day of the blip, when the billions of people who’d vanished into thin air had reappeared just as quickly and in the same exact state. You remember the amalgamation of cheers and cries as people were reunited with their loved ones, all while you watched them from your 10th floor window in your dingy little apartment.

All alone.

The databases were updated at that point, displaying who had come back. Of course, there were still a few people whose status never changed, and no matter how long you refreshed the page in hopes that it would switch from “missing” to a blank spot where that word once sat, it didn’t. Instead, it changed from “missing” to “deceased.”

Hill and Fury had tried to get back in contact with you, but you ignored their messages, instead choosing to look deeper into the reappearance of one man.

You’d watched Bucky from a distance, lingering in the shadows as you went along with all of daily activities. Going to the grocery stores, spending Wednesdays at an asian restaurant with a man you didn’t recognize, and attending this weekly therapy appointments. His routines were, well, routine, until the day that he and Sam traveled to the Raft to break out the man who nearly landed Bucky in that same prison. They’d escaped successfully, and their movements brought you to Madripoor, a place that instantly settled a heavy weight in the pit of your stomach. 

The dress you wore in that dark and musty bar was itchy and the stares you earned from it made your skin crawl, but you bit your tongue and kept a straight face as you tucked yourself away into a dark corner. The doubt that itched in the back of your mind of how the three men would show kept growing stronger and stronger, only for it to shift into pure terror as Bucky and Sam walked in with that bastard. 

Bucky’s face was as still and hollow as it was the first day you met him, that hauntingly empty look that made your insides churn. But that churning was incomparable to the bile that bubbled in your chest as he attacked men at Zemo’s word, his actions harsh and merciless.

Silently, the three men were led into a back room by an armed man, and once the trio disappeared into the room, you overtook the man and disarmed him. You gripped the gun in your hands and stood just outside of the room, still lingering within earshot.

Zemo and who you assumed to be Selby discussed some sort of contract that had to do with the super soldier serum, of which he offered Bucky as payment for information on where to get the serum. The discussion was cut short by Sam’s phone ringing, which snowballed into a situation much bigger than they were expecting.

As Selby ordered for them to be killed, a gunshot rang through the air and Selby’s words were cut short. After attacking the guards that surrounded the room, the three men escaped out the back door, and you followed them. The road leading out from the bar proved just as treacherous as another spray of gunfire sounded from all around, and you all sprinted down the narrow street and into an attached back alley.

You shot down the two motorcyclists that had followed them in and stepped out of the shadows, gun trained on Zemo as your hands shook with fury. “Disarm him,” you spat, finger hovering over the trigger.

“Y/N?” Sam spoke, voice laced with shock.

“Power him down, Zemo,” you continued, ignoring the shocked looks from Sam and Bucky. “I will not hesitate to blow your fucking brains out!”

“Drop the gun” Bucky roared, making you jump. 

“Well, this is too perfect,” a woman’s voice echoed, standing in the space next to you and aiming her gun at Zemo. “Drop it, Zemo.”

Zemo slowly lowered his gun to the ground and held his hands in the air, retreating back as the other two men walked forward. “Sharon?” Bucky spoke.

“You cost me everything.”

“Sharon, wait-” Sam pleaded.

The four of them bickered while you stepped back and lowered your gun to your side, trying to catch up with everything that was going on while also trying to comprehend why Bucky was with Zemo, why he acted like he was the Winter Soldier.

Sharon’s offer of refuge seemed to draw everyone in, but as they all began to walk, Bucky turned to you and gripped both of your biceps in his hands, forcing you to drop your weapon. He backed you up into the brick wall and tightened his jaw, the rough material scraping against your exposed back. “Bucky,” you cried out.

“Who are you?” he hissed, pulling you close to him before swiftly slamming you back against the wall, knocking the breath from your lungs.

“Bucky, it’s me. It’s Y/N. Please.”

“Y/N is dead.” Sam appeared behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. “Who. The fuck. Are you.”

“Bucky, we don’t have time for this!” Sam snapped. “She’s coming with us, let’s go.”

You silently pleaded with Sam but he walked away, allowing Bucky to wrestle both of your arms behind your back and walk you to the car.

*** As Sharon and Sam and Zemo conversed, Bucky dragged you into the first room he saw and threw you inside, locking the door behind him.

You let out a hiss of pain as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position, glancing dow nat the rug burn on your palms before looking up at Bucky. “Buck, come on, it’s me,” you begged, watched as he leaned against the wall that faced you.

“Don’t call me that,” he hissed, lips pursed tightly. “Who are you and why are you here? How did you find me?”

You spoke slowly, “Bucky, it’s Y/N Y/L/N. We met in Bucharest, we were... We were best friends, until...”

“What, until I went to Wakanda or until you died?”

“They made me fake my death, Buck, it wasn’t my choice. They made me hide away from everybody for what they said was my own safety. They said that I could be used by Hydra to get secrets about everyone, about you.” You let out a trembling sigh. “I’ve been hiding for seven fucking years. I’ve been alone for seven years.”

He looked away from you, gliding his tongue over his bottom row of teeth before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“You cut your hair,” you spoke after a moment’s silence.

“You came back from the dead.”

“So did you.”

He shot a glare at you, standing up straight and walking over to sit in a chair on the other side of the room. Hesitantly, you rose to your feet and walked over to him, leaving about 10 feet of distance between you two. “How did you find me?”

“Stark’s databases. They said that you were getting court-mandated therapy in New York City, so I went there, and I guess I just followed you from there.”

“Why...” He cleared his throat. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“Well, first of all, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to risk you getting hurt because of my selfishness.” You sat in the chair adjacent to his. “And I figured that it would be best that I stayed away from you since you despised me.” 

He let out a sigh, mouth opening to defend himself. 

You shook your head. “Do you know how much that hurt me?” you cried out, lower lip quivering. “I-I thought that you cared about me, but you didn’t, did you?”

“I can say the same fucking thing about you!” he snapped. “When I came back from the blip, I saw you everywhere! I thought that you were haunting me, that my guilt was just making you appear, but it was actually you!”

“I didn’t want to do that, okay.” “What, you didn’t want to haunt me? You made me miserable!”

“That’s just what you said the last time I saw you.” You pushed yourself out of the chair and faced away from him, not wanting him to see you cry. “You were one of the only people I had. After you left, I wanted so badly to go see you. I could’ve gone anywhere, but the one place I wanted to be was with you. And then I had to hide away from the world, and I had no one. And I had to live with the fact that I would never be able to fix things between us.”

“You’ve really got some balls to say that shit.” He gripped your arm and spun you around to face him. “Fuck you, Y/N. Fuck you and everything you did.”

You yanked your arm from his grasp and stormed away. “I don’t think I’m the one to blame here, Bucky.”

You slammed the door shut behind you and walked past the room where the other three were gathered. “Hey, where are you going?” Sharon shouted.

“Outside,” you grumbled, walking out into the open courtyard in front of the house. 

Sobs bubbled in your chest and past your lips, collapsing onto the front steps with your head held in your hands. Your shoulders shook and though you tried to keep the noise to a minimum, you couldn’t hold back the hiccups of air that you tried to breathe in.

Heavy footsteps clicked on the pavement behind you a few minutes later, and you hastily swiped away the tear tracks that soaked your cheeks. “Sam, I’m fine. I’ll be in in a minute and you can interrogate me all you want,” you choked out, wrapping your arms around your knees.

“Not Sam,” Bucky’s gruff voice rumbled behind you, his form settling beside you on the steps.

You pursed your lips, eyes trained on the concrete path ahead of you. “Why did you go to the wake?” The words tumbled from your mouth before you could stop them.

“What?”

“I... I saw you at my wake. Why were you there? I thought I was dead to you.”

He shook his head. “You were never dead to me. You... God, you were the only thing keeping me going. You were all I had.”

You finally lifted your gaze to his face, locking eyes with him. “Then why’d you hurt me?”

A sigh left his lips. “After that chase in Bucharest, I... I guess I realized that you being with me wasn’t safe. And then when Zemo was able to get the Winter Soldier to come out...”

“So you hurt me to keep me from getting hurt.”

“Y/N-”

“What, am I wrong? God, when you push people away you really go for the heart.”

“It’s not like it was easy for me! When I saw how badly I hurt you, it felt like a part of me died inside.”

“But you still had every goddamn piece of me in your hands. Was that not enough for you?”

He stayed silent, searching your eyes for a moment before directing his gaze to his shoes. You scoffed and pushed yourself to your feet, turning on your heel to leave.

Bucky reached his left arm up, the cool metal curling gently around your wrist as he also stood up. In one fluid motion, he spun you around to face him and pressed his lips into yours. You froze in shock, but before you could even decide how to feel about his bold actions, he pulled away and searched your eyes. 

You let out a shuddering sigh, trying to gather your composure as quickly as possible. “Bucky, I would’ve died for you.”

“That was the last thing I wanted. It still is.” His cool fingers loosened their grip, delicately gliding along the back of your hand. “And when I found out that you died, I blamed myself. I told myself that if I hadn't hurt you, if I was with you, then you would’ve lived.”

“Bucky-”

“My therapist, she made me create a list of people that I need to make amends with. I-I’ve gotten through most of it, but there’s a few names that I still need to get through.” He dug in his back pocket, fishing out the small pocketbook and turning to the last page. “I wrote your name down. I-I knew that there was no way I could ever make amends with you, but I felt like I had an obligation to.”

You stared at your name scrawled out on the page in his messy handwriting. It was the only name on the page, placed right in the center. Tears welled in your eyes and you let out a shaky breath, unable to find the words to say.

“You don’t have to forgive me, and honestly I don’t expect you to, but I just needed-”

“Bucky.”

He closed his mouth, his sweet blue eyes following your movements as you closed the book in his hands and settled both of your hands on his cheeks. You could see the stress melting off of him as soon as he felt the warmth of your touch, his shoulders dropping slightly and a hint of a smile threatening to crack on his lips.

“Bucky Barnes, you are the most stubborn son of a bitch I’ve ever met,” you sighed, giving him a small smile. “And I know it’s because you’ve been hurt more times than you can count, but if I can take away some of that hurt, I’d do it a million times over and never regret it.” The tip of your nose brushed against his, and you heard his breath hitch in his throat. “I forgive you.”

With a gentle tilt of his head, his lips bumped against yours before quickly locking together. Your fingers drifted down his cheeks and his throat before clasping together behind his neck.

He stole a few more quick kisses before pulling away completely, his tongue darting out to wet his lips before permitting a smile to rest on his face. You mirrored his smile and carded a hand through his hair. “Y’know,” you breathed, “I really dig this haircut.”

He arched a brow. “Really, I thought you liked the long hair.”

“I did like the long hair! It just... This is more you. Not the Winter Soldier, not HYDRA. You.”

You felt his arm pressed against your body as he tucked his book into his jacket pocket before both arms tenderly snaked around your waist and pulled you close to him. He pressed a chaste kiss, then two, then three onto your lips before letting out a small sigh.

“I’ve got clients coming in half an hour and I’d prefer not having people with targets on their heads making out on my front step,” Sharon shouted from the front door, giving both of you a pointed look before stepping back inside.

“I should leave,” you hummed, dropping your hands to your sides and beginning to wiggle yourself free of his grip.

“Y/N,” he breathed, fingers catching onto yours and weaving together. “Stay. Please. I... I just got you back, I don't want to lose you again.” Your eyes locked with his and he held the stare for a few moments before clearing his throat and shifting his gaze to the ground between you two. “Besides, I think Sam and Zemo might kill me if I don’t go back in there without you.”

You giggled. “Oh, that’s the reason you want me to go in there with you?”

“Yeah!” His voice was nearly drowned out by your laughs, but he persisted. “I swear to god, if looks could kill, I would’ve died before I could’ve even gotten out here to talk to you. Fucking Zemo even said something about ‘when you’ve got a woman like that, you should never take hurt them.’”

You grinned. “You think he’s wrong about that?”

He shook his head fervently. “No, no, not at all! I just... I guess I’m out of practice with this whole... talking thing.” He let out a breath and squeezed your hands. “I need to catch up on the seven years that I’ve spent without you, and there’s no better time to start than now.”

You bit down on your lower lip to suppress the smile that was close to splitting your face in two. “I don't know, Bucky, but that sure sounds like some good talking to me.”

He rolled his eyes, but a smile finally began to settle on his lips. “Shut up.”

You pressed a final, sweet kiss to his lips before slipping from his grasp, giving yourself a moment to admire the purple light that caressed his skin. “Come on, let’s head inside before Sharon loses her shit.”