#he needs some love goddamn it-
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Michael Afton Rants:
šš„ŗWhat I Think Mikey Looks Likeš„ŗš
(I just wanna say two things. One, Iām talking about Michael Afton from the games, not the one from the movie (but the actor did great as Mike Schmidt, major props to him!) Two, I want to hold this boy and tell him itās all gonna be okay because he be traumatized AF.)
Okay, now onto what baby Mikey looks like!
Itās a given he looks like William, almost identical to him considering the souls thought Michael was his father. And my manās is a British boy, so heās definitely got some pale skin, not quite paper white, but he is fairly pale. His skin is also somehow fucking perfect, tf-? Acne? He doesnāt know her-
I say Mike is tall, definitely around like 6ā6 or 6ā7. And heās definitely decently built, too. Like, heās not jacked jacked, but he does have some decent muscle that is still somehow soft looking. And I picture him with big hands that are rough and calloused, but also have some softness to them despite all of the work heās done.
Since he does look like William, heās definitely got some strong features, most notably his nose and face shape with a defined jawline and chin. But Michael does have a few differences from his father, which he likes the most about himself because boy has major āØDADDY ISSUESāØ.
Michael has a slightly fuller lip shape than William, and he doesnāt have his resting bitch face either. His resting face is strangely innocent and curious, major puppy face vibes. His cheeks are more round and soft than his fatherās and his baby blue eyes are big, round, and wide in shape and theyāre slightly downturned to really give him that puppy face that no one can say no to.
Seriously, Mikey is definitely the guy who looks intimidating from the back due to his height and slight muscle until he turns around and youāre met by the cutest case of puppy face youāve ever seen!
Also, Mikey is #blessed with some nice long, thick lashes that frame his eyes so well! He even has a set of bottom lashes that make his eyes sort of doll-like and he could actually pull off a convincing disguise as a woman if he tried. I gotta fucking write that-
His favorite feature on himself is probably his eyes overall because people have told him that the baby blue color combined with the shape of his eyes make them look so soft, a stark contrast to his fathers cold, sharp, and unforgiving steel gray eyes that make everyone uneasy.
Donāt even get me started on this boyās hair-
It is so beautiful!
Boy has practically never had a bad hair day in his life!
His hair is a nice chestnut brown color, with natural highlights of red and blonde. His hair is also slightly wavy and always lays perfectly on his head no matter the time.
EVEN HIS FUCKING BEDHEAD LOOKS GORGEOUS-
Oh, and his hair is so soft!
Itās like he has strands of soft, fluffy silk growing from his head.
I just wanna give this pretty boy a hug! He needs it so badly!
LET ME HUG MY TRAUMATIZED BOY, DAMMIT!
(Let me hold him! I want to comfort his babie boy so bad!)
#he needs some love goddamn it-#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael#michael afton#michael afton rants
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Call me homophobic, but I don't actually think it's great representation to stick a complex, dynamic, newly-realized bisexual character permanently with a flat, boring, underdeveloped love interest just because that was the first guy who showed interest.
#in my hater era#like what you like#but goddamn#the argument that this is somehow outstanding queer representation is baffling#they have had 13 episodes to DO something with this character and they have chosen not to#no development anywhere#even though they literally brought him back so there is built-in background ripe for the picking#and yet#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#the saddest part is#i don't even hate him#he's not important enough to hate#there is just absolutely nothing to him#and that's sad because whether or not he was intended to be long-term or endgame#the writers are better than this and the character SHOULD have SOME development#like why are we all swooning over 911 shoehorning in a returning character to tell a bi buck story#but treating that character like the most expendable love interest in history#i don't like him but actually i think queer characters#and especially ones who are part of such a major later-in-life bisexual realization storyline for a beloved main#deserve a little more respect than what 911 has been giving him#anyway#might delete later i don't know#also i need to stop looking at the 911 subreddit#worst takes i've ever seen that place is a cesspool
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BAND OF BROTHERS: EPISODE ONE + my favorite closeup shots
#bill guarnere#dick winters#carwood lipton#george luz#joe toye#luztoye#lewis nixon#donald hoobler#harry welsh#band of brothers#mine: gifs#did i need to include 10? no#but i love each of these and here's why#1 bc he's so absurdly cute and happy and carefree here it makes my heart melt#2 bc you can him trying so hard to keep his face neutral with sobel when he says 'what infractions sir?' and sobel says 'find some'#3 bc i could watch it all day... how does Lipton look so hot just moving his face like that???#4 bc there's no heterosexual explanation for this scene and i love these two being sexy goofballs together#5 bc it's the moment that almost single-handedly made Toye one of my earliest fave characters#6 bc that is literally Nix's expression when he sees Dick smiling tenderly at him... enough said#7 bc the early foreshadowing kills me UGHHH#8 bc he's pretty and glowing and there's that glimmer of mischief in his eyes#9 bc Harry is my most precious beloved wifeguy and goddamn what a smile#10 bc god it breaks my heart every time
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gojo 'i am a man too' satoru when you keep teasing him about how he's younger than you and makes it his life mission to prove it.
#scene is you kept calling him kid for some reason#but the age gap isn't even THAT much yk#and it just pisses him off#because you're seeing him as a naive innocent lil guy#when hes far Far from it#he has his needs too#something along the lines of kissing you dizzy and taking you raw (you didn't hear that from me)#and hes been in love with you for as long as he can remember#so now that he's a man himself#he gets bolder and bolder#and yet you can't take the goddamn hint#or maybe you do#maybe you're just pretending everything is platonic when it clearly isnt#for now though that's okay#just gives him all the more opportunity to show you how much he's matured#hehe coughs and giggles#šš”ššššš«š¬
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ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess itās only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.
the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.
notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.
take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.
(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)
point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.
which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.
as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.
this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.
do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).
misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.
to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.
that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.
anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.
#death note#astronaut rambles#misa amane#mello#mihael keehl#mihael when he keehls you.........#damn u choc#the whole 'certified yapper' thing was kind of a joke a few posts ago fucking christ what happened to me#this ended up being about a lot more than just mello & misa oopsie#long post#had to pause in the middle of writing this cuz that ryuk/rem song is way too fucking good goddamn#...which also accidentally ended up being a couple days break. whoops#hope this one is still coherent i fear i got a bit repetitive even as the main points were quite simple =3=''#i should talk about the shinigami at some point... rem desperately needs some good meta around here aklsdfjk#sighh. all in due time#gotta post this now though so i can stop staring at it#ig it's bedtime for apples now. gotta go eepy so i can go grocery shopping tomorrow. :/#it's okay gotta feed yourself somehow#love you guys take care!!
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I cant believe these live in my house with me
#like. oh my god.#I donāt talk about my guinea pigs that often on here but I need u guys to know that they exist and I love them so fucking much#guinea pigs#the one on the left is boo berry#middle is trix#right is cocoa puff#booboo is a neutered boar and heās the sweetest little baby ever. heās so laid back and calm#trix is skittish and very feisty#cocoa puff is a grouchy old lady these days but in her youth she was a very intelligent and friendly piggie#louie.txt#I used to have another one named coffee bean but she sadly passed away recently#so I adopted trix and booboo as companions for cocoa puff#The introduction went really well but I think cocoa puff is a bit thrown off bc trix and booboo are young (trix is 11mo booboo is 2y)#shes like get these goddamn kids off my lawn!!!!!!#we both miss coffee bean a lot#we had some time to prepare bc she was sick for a couple months before her passing#but waking up one morning to find her dying was very shocking and traumatizing#she was my little baby i miss her#she was skittish and shy but sweet. no hint of attitude in her she was just anxious#unlike trix who is both anxious and full of unbridled rage#anyways#Rest In Peace Coffee Bean youll always be my little baby
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Hey so I've been *eating up* your TDP au and I looove everything you've made for it!! (The fact that I've finished season 6 yesterday is not helping aaaaa)
May I ask if Valka joins the party? Is she around?
AAAAAAA thank you thank you! Im so glad you enjoy it! It is my current brainrot and i have so many ThoughtsTM about it
And Valka is around......somewhere...... in Xadia.......
When she still lived in Berk she believed that peace was possible with the elves and dragons and did everything she could to convince anyone that they were not bloodthirsty monsters they had to fight. But of course no one believed her.
And so when she got taken by a dragon, after defending it and saving it's life during a raid, she figured that maybe Berk was hopeless and decided to stay in Xadia. (is this a flawed decision?? oh 100%. This action will have consequences in the future ;D)
And now 18 years later, she lives in the Uncharted Forest, helping and healing injured creatures and dragons and giving them a safe haven to reside in. She doesn't get many visitors, mainly because of the boundary spells that are set around her home, but she does get visits from her Sunfire elf friend who drops by from time to time to fill her in on things and ask for her help.
Recently though he's been trying to figure out what's been causing a corruption in the creatures of the region, and asked for her to keep an eye out for anything strange. Aside from that, the only other news Sandy has to share is that there's been a Sunfire elf terrorizing Berk. How strange. :)
#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK SBOOCHI#Appreciate yooouuu!! <3#heh got a little carried away with my rambling but oh well!#Valka is a part of the plot and does play a role in it#She's a passing mention to Hiccup and he's a passing mention to her but they dont know it's each other??#and hooo boi when they reunite??? OHOHOHOH#THERE'S GONNA BE SOME SHIT#I love Valka so much she's a fantastic character. and she's so flawed. i really want to get into that#especially when her and Hiccup meet again and start to build a relationship#OH ALSO?? SEASON 6 OF TDP??? LIKE EXCUSE ME????#WOT#IT WAS SUCH AN INSANE SEASON MY GOD#LITERALLY was processing what i watched a few good hours after i finished like holy SHIT#i need season 7 i gots to know what happens next#but goddamn did season 6 give me more ideas for this au!!#I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS#ask#valka httyd#sboochi#the dragon prince au#thanks again for the ask bud!
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No because wait a bit.
Shio only asks Satsuki to tell people Hibaru and Terasu died, and sure, for people who have them in front of them he isn't going to say that, it's more logical to ask them to kill and act as if they didn't butā
But it's still not Shio who asked for the murders? We don't see him ask for it? It's Satsuki who carries the message ā I don't doubt that Shio rather have Hibaru (and Terasu) dead, but it's very much Satsuki who pronounced those exact words.
That doesn't erase the surprise from "but we're brothers"! But it does change the "tell everyone Hibaru and Terasu are no more" to "kill everyone that takes Hibaru's side" and that's not the same thing
It's very oblivious the entire situation is beneficial for Satsuki: he looks like he's pleased with how things turned out, Shio just develops a God complex so he's even more easy to manipulate (if he already wasn't before), and for someone as naturally not charismatic as Satsuki who doesn't look like a fighter and doesn't have an astro giving him a fighting ability, using someone else ā someone whom most follow ā is the best option. He's the second son, he knows he won't ever be first no matter what in no matter which context, so he takes advantages of it: if he is second, nobody pays attention to him because he's not a direct threat, and if nobody pays attention to him because he's not perceived as a threat then.. he has free rein to manipulate everyone as he pleases. And nobody will ever notice but he'll come out on top.
He's very much more brain than muscles, that's easy to see. I'm just waiting to see how much he manipulates things to place himself in the true position of power and how much Shio knows Satsuki subtlety distorts his words. (Because surely, if he only changes the way it's worded, the way people will understand Shio's intents won't change, right?)
Is it the first time Satsuki subtlety distorts Shio's orders/words in a twisted game of telephone?
#i said it already and ill say it again#ill love him a lot if hes fully ruthless and fucks up sooooo many things ā kill a sibling or two#he NEEDS to have his hands covered in blood by himself tho. cant only be a manipulator i need his hands to be covered in literal blood up t#his goddamn shoulders. if he doesnt get drenched in blood at some point i dont think i could like him as his full potential#need him to be truly fucked up in the end. way more than kisaki was.#negai no astro#nna#astro royale#nna satsuki#satsuki yotsurugi#satsuki negai no astro#satsuki astro royale#nna shio#shio yotsurugi#shio negai no astro#shio astro royale#i need him to torture some people. i need his confrontation w hibaru to go as this one audio:#āits cute that youre going to 'defeat me with the power of friendship' and all - but again i am the devil from the bible soā#āblehblehblehbleh shut upā shut the fuck up i do not care im the devil I do not careā
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Joblessā¢ļø. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went āomg im so sorry...anyways i have bad newsā#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like š¤ fired buddies š¤ time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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there is something very sad about Peg just wanting to tell BJ about her day to day life, the mundane things in the house that need to be fixed and the funny things that happen to her, all things he would've enjoyed hearing about or would've handled with her if he'd been there, and having absolutely no idea what effect these letters actually have on him
#mash#peg hunnicutt#bj hunnicutt#hi I need to be in my feelings about the Hunnicutts#because I keep seeing posts about Peg's letters acting like she's deliberately setting him off somehow and they annoy me#she is literally just describing her day to day life she is filling pages with mundane chores and tasks and encounters#telling him every little thing that happens that made her laugh#because she loves him and misses him#and she wants him to know everything that's happening while he's away#she has absolutely no idea that BJ loses his goddamn mind over some of these#how would she know how he gets over the gutters? the kitchen flooding?#those are day to day things that just happen#all she's doing is rambling on in letters because she has to tell him every little thing every day because she loves him#she's writing these things thinking he'll just smile maybe have a laugh#because thats what he would've done when he was home with her#and thats why its so sad#she doesn't know these things dont make him smile#she doesnt know how much he's changing#she doesnt know how much he's already changed
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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I do think Withers has a really subtle background character arc in bg3. Because at the start it is really clear he doesn't want to be here and he's being forced to clean up his mess by Helm and probably Ao. He doesn't really care either. Everything ends so nothing really matters, he'd like to go back to his paperwork now please.
Except he's stuck babysitting a bunch of traumatized dumbasses as they stumble into dealing with the most recent bad idea of his three fuck-up disappointments. So he brings them back when they die for a pittance, lets them pay for some vengeful ghosts to come back as flesh and blood to wreak bloody vengeance on the Absolute, and starts to... comment, on what's going on, as he follows them on their adventure.
Next thing you know Withers is like, doing things unprompted. He refuses to bring back Alfira (or Quil) but that's an act of compassion, keeping the poor girl from the Urge and letting her rest, his actual duty as a god of death. He tells Arabella to follow her destiny and does that thing to make her grief go away which honestly freaks me out but seems to be him trying to help her. He shows up at Moonrise and prompts us to consider why the Dead Three would want a bunch of soulless illithids that would give them no power, getting us to think of the big picture.
And by the end (especially if you do a resist!Durge playthrough) Withers is actively interfering and seems genuinely invested! He brings Durge back from the dead, free of their father! He encourages us before the final fight with the Netherbrain! He's real fucking smug that the Dead Three lost when he never seemed to care about the destruction they caused before! He throws a reunion party and many of his lines are genuinely touching or kind! Especially if a companion died permanently! He has tea with Gale's mom and Tara! He's like, socializing and shit! Yes, everything is temporary and we all die, but there's great beauty in fighting for that precious time and living it to the fullest!
Basically Wither's character arc is this meme, all because Helm made him go outside and touch grass.
#bg3#like... thematically the characters are bg3 are all struggling with mortal frailty and meaninglessness in the grand scheme of gods#several of them are on a ticking clock to immediate death. the tadpoles themselves are a death sentence. others are being actively#hunted by their abusers or will be drawn back into a life that's no real life at all or told to kill themselves or seen as nothing but#disposable pawns in the game of the gods to be used and discard as if nothing#or are destined for objectively shitty afterlives#and what do they do? they fight it! tooth and nail! and try to live their best life here and now! they form bonds and fall in love#and help strangers or each other and have fun even for only the moment and cling to life by their fingernails#while also accepting death could be tomorrow or next week or decades from now because we all die but that's no reason to lie#and meekly accept it because some god said so#they care! they all care SO SO MUCH ABOUT LIVING! even if its tempting to give in to the nihilism they all try so goddamn hard#even on evil routes there's something so deeply human and vulnerable to how it all comes from caring so deeply#about wanting to live and survive and be loved and safe#listen to Wither's lines about the companions if they died. especially Karlach. do you get it? they made the GOD OF DEATH#JERGEL HIMSELF! feel something about the beauty of the mortal life in all its fleeting incandescent glory!#but also I think it's just that Jergel needed to leave his sad little crypt more and talk to people other than kelemvor#and Helm accidentally made Jergel less terrible by forcing him to socialize with the mortals#it's like never leaving your room as a teenager. it makes you depressed and sad and full of despair like an understimulated parrot#and like is Wither's being more invested in the affairs in mortals necessarily a good thing? maybe. maybe not. but he clearly is#so good on him. I think more gods should hang out with mortals in non-worship contexts. might give them some perspective#just pretend to be some random helper NPC#and this is all especially poignant when we remember Jergelās past as Neutral Evil and the genuinely horrible things heās done
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So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, iām answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). youāre a darling :D
Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i havenāt reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.
Onto the bingo: well. heās The quintessence of genderā¢ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh āa beast unleashedā -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, iām ignoring the part where holmes dies (or yāknow, is dead for 3 years). thatās too angsty.
#sherlock holmes#my dearest blorbo#heās my belovedest chewtoy basically#if i think abt how modern adaptations *looking at you bbc sherlock* have ruined his character i get so angry i have to take deep breaths#*mutters darkly* he is NOT an arrogant cold-hearted bitch like heās portrayed; well he IS a bitch but not a cold-hearted one!!#see. the thing abt holmes is that heās SUCH a sweet boy okay. and heās compassionate#he cares sooo much. thatās the reason people come to him when theyāre distressed. they trust him#he hates the police. he is a jester at heart. loves his watson#heās here to help the truly desparate helpless people even if they have no money to pay him for the case. no questions asked. But-#he fucking despises obnoxious rich men. the first time he meets watson a total stranger he *very excitedly* tells him abt his experiment#itās very adorable. he never stops trying to impress ever. infact blushes furiously when complimented by him#my guy has 0 knowledge of our solar system but heās written several monographs abt different types of ASHES. go figure!#OH i almost forgot the most important fact heās special to me bc holmes is an audhd gay disaster bastard. sometimes heās even bisexual#but mostly heās acespec and in a qpr w watson. heās VERY adhd. behaves like an excited cat and oh so cute when he stims. everytime he does#i go SQUEEE. when heās depressed itās a goddamn hashtag big mood. as in many other ways he is me i am him#heās PASSIONATE and KIND thatās all you need to know#acd stories are about just some guy who loves his job (which he invented himself btw after quitting college) thatās it#i am overcome with an almighty need to squeeze his cheeks#heās everything to me <3#alright if i donāt stop now i doubt i ever will LMAO bye#acd holmes#if u read till the end u get a cookie and a kiss on the nose i love u#silv tag š
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-Remembers how TāPring looked as she watched Spock & Chapel vanish into the bathroom together after seeing them kiss on the bridge (which she knew was for a mission and didnāt hold against them but perhaps she could sense something there since they do have feelings for one another), maybe attempting to calm herself and her suspicions as sheās left alone again (and later finds sheās been left out entirely this whole time) and how she doesnāt know that Spock almost told Chapel he loved her then and there, with TāPring in the other room waiting, and how Amanda and Sevet both think she could have more confidence in herself and how TāPring thought that she and Spock were in this together (her holding his hand, subtly letting him know to pour slower so the tea flowers would bloom correctly, a whisperedĀ āwell doneā, the ritual is over mother) and how mere hours after she expresses to Spock how she feels: Like he doesnāt trust her, like he doesnāt care to include her in his life, how sheās trying her best to show him that she will accept him wholly, how she wants to be his partner instead of an adversary or an obstacle, after all this heās found Chapel within the hour and is kissing her.-
#I've seen people say 'it's not technically cheating because-' and once you've hit 'technically' in MY opinion it's pretty much cheating#'taking a break' isn't synonymous with being able to kiss/have sex with other people - that's something that needs to be discussed#in my opinion...BUT ALSO. Even STILL. Not even a goddamn DAY went by.#T'PRING!!!!!! SAVE MY GIRL T'PRING!!!#Can you imagine hearing your fiancee who you ostensibly like tell you (very vulnerably - especially for a Vulcan: I didn't mind this bc I#personally assume that Vulcan partners WOULD discuss and talk through feelings though probably with a different goal than humans)#that she feels hurt that you seem to not want to include her in your life and that she feels you should take a break#and then IMMEDIATELY going to find the girl you have a crush on to tell her that you and your fiancee are taking a break and that you feel#bad about it and then IMMEDIATELY after that you're KISSING her??????#didn't feel TOO bad about it then huh!#Anyway I'm not earnestly like incensed I'm tv angry on T'Pring's behalf - love the drama bc I'm experiencing SNW from a very particular POV#I will only be angry if they make T'Pring into the bad guy somehow (like if the NARRATIVE says this is correct)#also off topic but I personally think star trek has had enough 'Vulcan culture is bad and restrictive' episodes/talking points - Enough.#Find some joy and peace through connection to an alien culture PLEASE.#I get it humans are great humans are so much freer and happier than Vulcans humans rule - Enough.#-turns to camera with a smile- anywaaaay I watched the episode once and I couldn't rewatch it for this post so <3#if any of this is wrong just chalk it up to bad memory <3#snw spoilers#idk how long an ep has to be out for that to apply#also just so everyone knows - I /do/ think it's stupid that Spock forgets how to act Vulcan when he turns fully human#but I also just expected it since star trek writers LOVE bioessentialism#I have NO doubt that if Spock turned Klingon he'd suddenly start talking about honor and being rowdy despite those things being#learned and cultural v_v#I SAY ALL THIS...and I DID like the episode! I'm complicated <3#<- just likes episodes with fun hijinks as their thesis and also T'Pring is there
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during those weeks id tie my hair up into a bun, took my wallet off its chain, tightened the straps on my backpack and had my pepper spray in my hand constantly cause i was so scared of being Grabbed on the street while making deliveries
#i had nightmares about him forcing his way into the store and my pepper spray not working on him cause i read somewhere it doesnt affect#some people cause it works off their#capsaicin receptors and some people arent affected by that#i still sometimes have nightmares about him XD#once i get a new job or have enough disposable income im buying a fucking taser XD#electricity will affect you goddamn#i fucking hate how nervous he made me#i missed my workwife so badly during that time#sorry for being UNwoke here but i really felt like we needed a MAN working with us during the night shift#having a bunch of young women out super late in the cityā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦. i did not like#and at 25 i was the OLDEST one there at night!!!!!!!#why i got so protective over my coworkers#god i hope theyre okay#i hope after i quit and told my manager everything she fucking. idk.#got the store proper security that actually worked until we closed#we were one of the stores who were open the lastestā¦..#blows a kiss up into the sky. for all the double blunts we smoked together. i loved yall#i still feel so guilty about leaving them alone
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every time you say jack has the mental age of a baby or a toddler an autistic person spawns in your house to kill you. itās me. Iām in here and I have something sharp.
#cal.txt#spn#supernatural#jack kline#autistic jack kline#spn fandom#spn fans will see a whole teenager exhibit autistic traits and go yea heās toddler š¤š¤#just say you hate autistic people dawg we already know this#literally it has to be cognitive dissonance or some shit that you people canāt understand what youāre fucking doing#better yet you refuse to understand. you refuse to listen to anyone whoās ever brought it up and you act like weāre the weirdos here? okay?#even weirder is ppl who acknowledge jack is autistic & love him for representation & then. make him a fucking baby accessory#thatās your representation? a goddamn ship prop? fuck off#this shit is like actually fucking insane#you people need to be studied
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