#he needs his happy ending just like anthy

[transmascutena]

"anthy's also transfem but thats always true to me anyways" i am staring directly at it. you understand. you understand perfectly.

for me, transfem anthy (much like transmasc utena) really comes down to it adding a lot of new layers to everything going on with her character and her arc. and the show already has so much to say about gender and about queerness so i don't think it's at all a stretch to read genderqueerness into it.

the pressure to conform to traditional femininity, to be quiet, to not stand up for or assert yourself (something anthy has done in the past which ended horribly for her) are things all women experience, but doubly so with the idea that you need to "prove" yourself and your gender, to perform that role perfectly and that if you don’t, you will at best not be taken seriously, and at worst… well. be attacked by a million swords of hate. or the real world equivalent.

then there's the victim-blaming for the abuse she faces, from akio and from everyone else. reading anthy as transfem adds a layer to what he says about her “choosing this” and “not being able to be happy any other way.” his idea of womanhood as synonymous with pain and suffering and abuse at the hands of men, and that if anthy wants one she must necessarily want or at least accept the other. i think someone in a discord server i’m in phrased it as something along the lines of “if you’re going to act like a girl, i’ll treat you like one” when we talked about this, which. ouch. he already views his abuse of her as a natural consequence of a choice she made, and this would just be another aspect of that.

there's also the whole thing with mamiya, and dios, who anthy looks so much like when pretending to be a boy, and there's so much gender to unpack in all that that i don't even know where to start. i think it's so interesting to think about how anthy feels about masculinity and about femininity, both of which are things she performs at different points, because she has to, not because she chooses to. and i love thinking about how she might learn to redefine these things for herself post-canon. like realizing that she doesn't have to be feminine all the time to be a girl, or that she does like being feminine as long as it's on her own terms, or that she can be both, or neither, or whatever else she wants.

[darkscorpiox]

Utena - Analysis on the (first) ending

I did an analysis on the opening, so here’s one on the first ending.

Warning: very, VERY long post and mention of scenes from the show, enough to be considered spoilers (sorry)

Missing truth and forever, kissing love and true your heart. Hold me in your arms so true. The key to unlock tomorrow is reality.

We start with the silhouettes of two individuals, male and female respectively, close to each other with reddish/orangish roses in the background. A picturesque depiction of the fairytale romance between a man and his woman: we only see the superficial layer of the individuals and the roses are there to maintain the illusion of a romantic narrative. Then, we have outlines and colors. And though we get to see the princess’s face, it is not the case with the prince. The fact that one is more exposed (vulnerable) than the other shows some degree of inequality between them. It doesn’t help that Utena, unlike the outspoken way we see her in the first episode, appears subdued in the arms of her beloved Prince. This shows that things aren’t as they seem. And that’s without the lyrics of the song.

Missing truth and forever actually mean the same thing. The latter is another way to say “eternity” and eternity is the pain Anthy suffers at the hands of patriarchy, the truth kept hidden behind the veneer which is the Prince. In contrast, kissing love and true your heart allude to the climax of the last episode, when Utena’s sincere love for Anthy reaches the heart of the latter’s authentic self. Knowing this, the arms so true aren’t the prince’s, but Utena’s and / or Anthy’s.

The third line refers to the “revolution” everyone seeks. To change the world, to be free of the limbo that is the past, they must face and move toward reality.

I want to keep on smashing lies apart.

This line shows similarities to the Student council’s speech about “crack[ing] the world’s shell”, so they must share the same message. Interestingly, Utena closes her eyes and Anthy opens hers. It can imply that the former refuses to see the lies presented to her, but the latter is the one aware of the machinations behind the scenes and Akio’s true nature, so it might be opposite, the denial of the truth.

No matter how much the two of us may talk… …you still just can’t see anything. Excuses are fitting for the adults who just cling to old stories.

The first two lines are a good summary of the dynamic between Utena and Akio. The former is under the princely charm of the latter, but subconsciously, she knows that he only sees her as a frail little girl to use as he pleases, meaning he might as well see nothing (denying the ugly truth). When the third line comes, the trail of roses ends, indicating Utena’s realization that the Prince is not who she thought he was (Akio). It’s the end of the fantasy, the lie, created from her idealized memories.

The angels who were passed over don’t need wings to fly!

As a witch, a fallen woman, Anthy is spurned by society. However, that doesn’t mean she has to settle with the little given to her (Dios / Akio). That’s what Utena wants to tell her (hence why she occupies the screen for a moment before we focus on Anthy). By choosing Anthy instead of the fairytale happy ending, Utena becomes a fallen woman as well, but she refuses to be just that. Her self-worth should not be determined by others, especially a system which limits her to a “good” or “bad” social standing (Madonna-whore complex). If the world won’t give her the same path as everyone else’s, especially men’s, then she will make one for herself (and Anthy).

Missing truth and forever, kissing love and true your heart. I like who I’ll be tomorrow and… …I’ll believe in myself because I want to believe. I want to keep on hating lies.

(Sorry for the quality. I had to lower it to stay under the limit allowed for the image/GIF file size in one post.)

A repeat of the first four lines. This time, it’s about the belief in a better future and the lack of regret in leaving the past and the lies behind.

Utena and Anthy are both in the clutches of the Prince / patriarchy, but this time, the greenish wilting-looking roses are in the background. It can imply that the illusion is now dead to them and that they can finally see the truth.

In conclusion, the ending summarizes and foreshadows Utena’s and Anthy’s character development.

[mel2530]

When i watched rgu i didn't ask to be invested in saionji, touga and nanami and their childhoods. Or how the kiryuu siblings were screwed over from the start by the adults around them. But these three, man. Their stories are like a wrecking ball hitting my face

Like, every terrible and grooming shit Touga did to Nanami, every cruel thing Nanami did to Anthy and Tsuwabuki and Saionji hitting Anthy is still there, it's not an excuse for their behavior and they grow in the end. Even if in touga's case it's still baby steps and he should probably be receiving psychiatric help in jail. But my god, these teens really were fucked over by every adult and then ak*o exploited their toxidity and history of csa and neglect into his games. Because what is that bitch going to do if he can't exploit traumatized teens and pit them against each other. It's just sad and probably why makes thinking about their childhoods so interesting and bittersweet.

Saionji remenbers everything for the most part as perfect, but sometimes there are cracks and it scares and confuses him because they seem to happen out of nowhere, which is why he can't see the whole picture. He admires Touga as much as he cares for him, in his eyes his friend was amazing. Touga always had everything, so why would he walk away in the church ? He must have shown something to that girl without him, that must be it. He would not agree with her. There are pieces missing from the puzzle and after their friendship falls apart he's angry. Angry because he thinks that means he needs to catch up to Touga and angry because he can't figure it out what was wrong, what went wrong with them.

Nanami was very isolated, to the point that she killed a kitten because she needed touga's attention, which is probably the only attention she ever received from her family. She sees the adults in her flashbacks as empty faces, people that want her away from him, so she must not have had much contact or moments with them. The saddest part is that, considering what we see in the movie, it was a good thing. But it leaves her clinging to Touga like a teddy bear. They are everything the other has and needs in that house, therefore no one is going to take him away from her.

And then there is Touga, agreeing with what Utena says in the coffin about life and then chasing after the one who had the power to make her get up again, the power that will solve his problems. He's the older one, having to assume a near parental role to Nanami and, even if Saionji is his best friend, the one who rides the bike. He protects them, but he's also the one who gets abused by his "father" every day without any of them knowing, the one who knows they were sold instead of adopted and, as much as some of his memories with them might be happy and he cares for them, he can't shake the feeling of anger and hurt. There is no true friendship, no true mutual understanding.

[episodeoftv]

Round 4 of 8

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

Revolutionary Girl Utena: 1.39 And Someday, Together, We'll Shine

This whole show is full of TWs here's a link.

Utena's once again betrayed by Anthy. With the prince's sword in hand, Akio attempts to open the doors of revolution while the fallen prince contemplates her and Anthy's fate.

Series finale of Utena. Makes me sob every time. The betrayal, the fact that Utena still is trying to save Anthy, Anthy's coffin, their brief touch of hands before separated, seeing a montage of all the characters, and finally, seeing Anthy leave her abuser to find Utena. It's. Perfection. It's a traditionally happy ending but so hopeful that despite the heartache I'm still happy. That I know it'll be okay.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1401511/

The Sandman: 1.06 The Sound of her Wings

TW death, I guess, but it's treated in a very lovely way

Feeling a bit rudderless, Morpheus shadows his hard-working big sister, who offers him advice and encourages him to reconnect with an old acquaintance.

I've watched this episode like 4 times and the rest only one, that's how good it is. It also has the quality of being pretty independent from the rest of the show, so it's easy to only watch this one without rewatching all of them. It's divided in two parts: the first one is Dream following his sister Death as she collects the souls of dying people, it's a very poetic-looking episode, you can see the people embracing her and Death being really nice to them, it's incredibly lovely. By allowing Dream to follow her around, Death is also trying to show him that they exist thanks to humans, and that humans are their purpose and it's an honor to be there for them when they need it. Dream really needed that, because he was in a quest during the first 5 episodes and had a "and now what?" moment that made him a bit depressed once the quest was over. Anyway, the second part of the episode is the slowest burn you've ever seen. It shows Death giving immortality to a man, Hob Gadling, in 1384 (I think?) and Dream meeting him every 100 years to check if he still wanted to live. It's extremely gay, they keep having sex with their eyes (it's not canon that they're in love, though, but it's nice to imagine). Anyway, if you don't want to watch the whole show, I would advise to just watch this one episode, it's really great

https://sandman.fandom.com/wiki/Chapter_6:_The_Sound_of_Her_Wings

[hellpastel]

RGU and the American Romanticism movement

“If it cannot break out of its shell, the chick will die without being born. We are the chick, the world is our egg. If we don't crack the world's shell, we will die without being born. Smash the world's shell, for the revolution of the world!” Is the speech given at the beginning of every single student council meeting in Revolutionary Girl Utena By Kunihiko Ikuhara is a surrealist shoujo anime from 1997. Now you may be wondering what an anime from 1997 has to do with the American Romanticism movement, but I argue by examining other romantic texts that Revolutionary Girl Utena would fit the ideals that formed the Romantic movement perfectly. The series is a deconstruction of fairytale tropes and analyzes how institutions are built to hurt and take advantage of through the lens of princes and princesses as well as through how the school setting shapes people to recreate and continue the ideals of the institution.

“Young Goodman Brown” by Nathaniel Hawthorne is a short story about the danger of laying all or your core beliefs onto one single thing will ultimately be your own undoing when this world view is contradicted. When Goodman Brown’s perception of everyone around him that has been built up by the image the church portrays is contradicted on his walk he is unable to cope and ultimately “his dying hour was an hour of gloom.” (Hawthorne). In Revolutionary Girl Utena the titular character has built her identity up through acting the role of a fairytale prince, and when some mishaps happen and she accidentally gets herself entangled within a dueling system where the winner becomes engaged to a girl named Anthy Himemiya who has this power to “revolutionize the world” she is at first very against this system, but once she learns that if she loses someone else who might not treat Anthy as kindly as her will be engaged if she drops out she decides she has no choice to continue and eventually she ties being the victor of these duels to her princely identity. Then in episode ten she loses and her sense of self is shattered, she stops dressing in her usual boys uniform and insteads ops wears the girls uniform and she is noticeably less confident and happy this way. She gets talked back into dueling to take Anthy back and succeeds, however this cements her sense of self as being tied to this institution from this point until near the end of the series.

    The anime explores ideas of needing to accept one’s past with a heavy emphasis on death.  In the black rose arc Mikage is a young genius who is so fixated on his past that he attempts to gain the power to revolutionize the world to unlock a form of eternity built upon his memories.To achieve this eternal state of being he killed a hundred duelists in a fire. Through his duel the truth of his past is revealed and he disappears from the world as a whole, Mikage is also heavily implied to be a ghost throughout the anime. Even the titular character has a strong connection to death as both her parents died when she was little and she was so distraught that she hid within a coffin until a prince came and showed her something to fight for. The stanza “So live, That when thy summons come to join the innumerable cavern, (...) Thou go not, like the slave-quarry in the night,” “Thanotopsis” by William Cullen Bryant encapsulates this moment well as it shows the mindset Utena has to go through, she can’t just lay down and die she must fight for something to hope for her life to mean something. Speaking of what she is fighting for.

    It is revealed in episode 33 of Revolutionary Girl Utena that the thing that Utena is fighting for and the reason she became a prince was to save Anthy who has been cursed to be stabbed by the hatred of all of humanity for eternity and prince Dios could not be her prince to save her due to them being siblings. Utena swears to be this prince to save her. However, Utena forgets the memory and gets caught up in the dueling game and although she is kind to Anthy and never does anything to hurt her, she also never notices any of the pain and suffering Anthy is enduring. This creates a wedge between them until they confront each other on the rooftop as Anthy tries to jump off, Utena stops her and they have a heart to heart about how they’ve both been hurting each other and they promise to continue to stay for each other and that they will get through this. Then in the final duel between Akio/Dios who represents exactly who the institution has been built for as well as the patriarchy, Anthy is overwhelmed because Akio is her brother and is the only person who has seen her suffering and despite him allowing and enforces the institution that allows her suffering to continue for the benefits of others he still swears he loves her, so she betrays Utena and literally stabs her in the back. “I aimed my Pebble---- but myself was the one that fell--- Was it Goliath---- Was too large--- Or was myself---- too small?” “I Took my Pebble in My Hand”  by Emily Dickinson exemplifies this moment as Utena falls to the floor. 

However after Akio fails to utilize the power to revolutionize the world, because the system is already built for him and deep down he doesn’t desire for anything to change, Utena stumbles back to her feet and clambers over to the gate where the power to revolutionize the world is supposedly held and begins to beg and cry for someone to help Anthy. This is not built upon her desire to seem like a prince or show off; this is simply an act of concern for the girl she loves, and thus the gates open and inside is Anthy alone and afraid After finding Anthy, Utena vanishes from the world, but Anthy remarks that Utena is still out there and that she simply left the oppressive institution that Akio built. With the security of Utena’s unwavering love even after seeing all Anthy has gone through and everything she’s done, Anthy understands what true love is and finally is able to take that first step and leave behind the institution that confined her in search of Utena and also herself and who she can be without everyone else's expectations of her clouding it.  

[helloanthy]

Hii

How are you? Hope you're doing good. I want to say that I love your art and it's a huge inspiration for me :D

I also really love your metas! Especially about transmasc Nanami. I was wondering...in this interpretation, what would Tsuwabukis role be in the story? Would Keiko (and the others) still follow Nanami around, or would the 3 spectacles guys be a replacement entourage? Personally I think Nanami is too good for them lol

Also, what do you think of transfem Saionji and (possibly trans) Wakaba? Or Wakaba and Anthy?

Feel free to ignore if you don't want to answer, I just really appreciate your thoughts!

{Slightly off topic, but THANK YOU for your takes on A:TLA. As someone who did enjoy the show when I first watched it, it irks me to no end when fans think of it as the pinnacle of representation. I'm mentally begging them to watch a different show}

Thanks, again!

hello hello ! im alright anon, thank u ! i hope ur doing good as well thank u thank for ur kind words, im happy u enjoy my anthys 💜 to be honest i did not think that far into that AU. canon tsuwabuki ... maybe instead of putting nanami in danger to be more like touga he's nanami TWO ✌🏼 and is what transmasc nanami is to touga ? as in he chooses to emulate nanami as a prince and is still his little stooge ? haha. maybe instead of putting nanami in danger tsuwabuki would set up scenarios that puts other female students in danger in front of nanami for nanami to "save". to show off his princeliness ??? im sure nanami would still get mad if he found that out because its so much trouble hahaha or ... if tsuwabuki is a girl she would come up with schemes to put herself in seemingly mortal danger in front of nanami ? i think nanami could still have aiko keiko and yuuko in this AU. i agree that nanami is too good for those spectacle guys hahaha ... theyr way too boring ... for me .... perhaps the only difference for their motivations being friends with nanami in this AU is that. theyr settling for the lesser brother. similar to canon, how they are friends with nanami for her connection with touga. but thinking about it, isn't this ... a bit sadder though ? transfem saionji & wakaba ... lets take this opportunity to throw wakaba in with juri in the unrequited sapphic storyline club hahaha. iv always liked to interpret wakaba in canon to actually have a crush on utena but is completely unaware of it because of comphet. i do also truly think she had a crush on saionji too so if i had to label her i do think shes bisexual. but i cant help wanting to lesbianise everything can i ? and i think itd be fun ... an explicit love triangle [is it a love triangle if neither saionji or utena romantically love wakaba back 🥲 sobs] between them trans wakaba ... i feel like this would need an entirely different post to be honest. but ... one thought i have. perhaps of nonbinary wakaba. the binary narrative sidelines them because this story is not about that. well ... it IS but not in the way that wakaba is. does that make sense ? metaphor how nonbinary genders are invisible under heteropatriarchy ? while utena is gender nonconforming her gender as she herself states in the show is still binary. i dont know if that explaination makes a difference to anybody reading though. though theres a lot of directions i feel i could go with this. im having too many thoughts about it so im going to need to put a lid on it for now 😅 aaa, lastly, i dont think i really had any "takes" on ATLA ? just that i called it orientalist and that i dont really like it as much as RGU ... surprisingly though, a lot of people disagree with calling it orientalist ? really odd. thats like disagreeing with me saying the sky is black. but i have also learned from others on here that the "casual" definition of orientalism is conflated with anti-asian racism, so i guess i understand ... ? [even still though i do think ATLA has facets of anti-asian racism. but i doubt people who dont even know the origin of orientalism could understand that] also its odd to call ATLA "representation" to me. its not representation at all. well ... i mean. i guess it could be called "asian representation" the same way berserk is "european representation"

[liquidstar]

okay since everyone (no one) asked allow me to elaborate:

She was asking for the truth so many times She had been fooled So I led her to the place she longed for And showed her all she asked for

the song itself is about a naive girl begging to know the truth. "naive girl" already describes utena pretty well, but i like to think about this part specifically could describe her first encounter with "the prince"- you could swap out "the truth" for "something eternal" which she was begging to see. dios showed her anthy's enteral suffering.

And as she realized the truth is just a cloaked lie So many tears she cried And I just wondered why she said

but the truth was just a cloaked lie- her memories of this event were contorted. she forgot the real reason she kept going and instead-

Make me the bride of the lion king Let me suffer, Let me in Make me the bride of the lion king Let me suffer, Let me in

she became infatuated with the prince. its BRIDE imagery!! thats so utena. perhaps the ring he gave her was an engagement ring etc. etc. etc., but obviously the lion king in this song represents something more insidious which fits in with the true nature of the prince/dios/akio, right?

She was walking down the path that promised Anything she'd die for the Stairs she climbed they led her to The palace built for Gods

The prince promised her they'd meet again if she walks a certain path, right? But even more on the nose are the latter two lines- the stairs to the dueling arena and the palace/castle in the sky. built for gods=dios?

And as she realized the truth is just a cloaked lie You should have seen that bride How beautiful she died

but eventually she finds out the TRUTH truth. i think dying here can be a metaphor in the song either way, a death of innocence and naivete. but i also think it ties in really well with the themes of coffins.

Bring me the light of the lion king Let me suffer, let me in Bring me the light of the lion king let me see the things he's seen Oh bring me the head of the lion king let me suffer, let me in Oh bring me the head of the lion king Let me see the things he's seen

the idea of being the bride of the prince shifts into stealing his light (being a prince?) and eventually becomes about taking down the prince entirely. but either way the theme of suffering for the truth of the world remains.

Now watch those empty souls passing by Watch them losing all of their lights Closing her eyes, she stops to fight So the time has come to close her mind

this last part just makes me think of the very last duel- revolution. i feel like empty souls can refer to a lot of things. like everyone trapped in the coffin that is ohtori academy, or even a reference to the dead black rose duelists, or even anthy herself and how shes been sort of separated from herself (trapped in the coffin) and sort of the same thing for akio/dios. but at the end utena still chooses to duel (to fight). the last line is a bit more ominous referring to closing her mind, you could take it as being about all the horrible red flags she was too naive to see...

Make her the bride of the lion king Make her suffer, let her in Oh make her the bride of the lion king make her suffer, let her in Oh make her the bride of the lion king Make her suffer, let her in Oh make her the bride of the lion king She needs to see the things he's seen

but the perspective at the end shifts here, its now someone else demanding that the subject become the bride of the lion king, on her behalf. in the utena context i actually sort of imagine this would be anthy's pov. (and by extent the entire rest of the song too?) the idea that utena has been so naive and has been ignoring her trauma was a huge theme for their dynamic, especially towards the end (which is why i feel like the "so the time has come to close her mind" line can lead into this). that being said we know anthy wasnt happy about utena becoming akio's princess (for a variety of complicated reasons) but to some degree i do believe she wanted to shatter her naivete and show her reality

actually lion king by ghosting works as an utena song

[brokensoulmates2000]

Remember those weird scenes in Adolescence of Utena between Touga and Shiori? Well, they are not as weird as they seem

TW: Mentions of sexual abuse to a minor and homophobia

Alright fellas, it's been some tough weeks for me so I’ve been rewatching the last chapters of RGU as well as the movie cause, what else is better to watch than two women harboring hope in the midst of despair and starting a revolution? Also, they are super gay so sign me up.

There's so much I want to say about Adolescence of Utena because that movie is so unapologetically wild. I love it. Also after several rewatches in the span of six months, I think I know what is going on. The scenes (I hope) I grasped are those between Touga and Shiori.

From my perspective, Adolescence of Utena is about overcoming trauma, psychological patriarchy and imposed heterosexuality. Anthy is the one "running Ohtori". There is a whole conversation to be had on whether or not movie Ohtori is the same as anime Ohtori. Also, we would need another conversation to debate whether or not the rest of the characters except Utena and Anthy are actually themselves or if they are interpretations of their characters made by Utena and Anthy.

At the end, what matters is that Akio is dead and Anthy has killed him. Yet she is still the Rose Bride. Why? Because the effects of trauma and patriarchy are that insiduous. A revolution is not achieved until everyone unlearns everything the old regime taught. And what Akio taught the student council continues to affect them. From Anthy who keeps Ohtori up and running and sees herself as nothing more than an object to Saionji, who is back at clutching to his regressive views of masculinity. Without Akio around and no antagonist, we have to find those two characters who represent what the movie stands against: psychological patriarchy, imposed heterosexuality and trauma. The prince and witch archetypes embody this perfectly. Touga and Shiori too.

The symbols present in their scenes show this intent. First, let's talk about the sheets. Seems something only the movie used but-

The anime used it too.

By the way, the subtitles say: "I don’t have a roommate so I would like you to come back."

This is a good place to mention the castle represents heterosexuality. Akio said this in chapter 38:

Yes, Anthy is running away from heteronormativity at the end of the movie. Could she be more iconic?

Let's go back to the movie. To be more precise, the call between Touga and Akio. Akio starts by saying he doesn't know why his sister kidnapped the Rose Prince. Then he proceeds to reveal something very important: the prince never existed, he was The Lord of The Flies all along and Anthy put a spell on him to make him look as a prince.

The Lord of the Flies is another name for the devil, which is basically another code name for Akio, “the morning star”, Lucifer. In other words Akio always existed and he was never ‘transformed’ into that. I’m not saying Akio never had traits he shared with Utena, but that ugly part of himself, that evil in humanity associated with The Lord of The Flies, was always part of him. However, instead of accepting it and working through it (like Utena does when she accepts she only saved Anthy because of her ego), he preferred to indulge in his worst parts.

If Anthy’s magic was what made him appear as a prince… I’m not sure how that makes me feel. It can lead some people to believe Anthy deceived everyone willingly all along, but there are many factors that could motivate her decision. First, did she notice the world needed a prince and sent her brother knowing the world would never allow her to be a prince? Let’s also consider she is the youngest out of the two so her decision can be a result of needing protection, and "making" her brother become the prince she needed. That is of course, if Akio is not lying.

I only believe half of the things Akio says. He has a tendency to deflect questions, project his guilt onto others, manipulate and lie. In that same vein, Akio says Anthy's powers stopped working, therefore revealing the true nature of the prince. Then he goes on to say they created Ohtori to make Anthy’s magic come back which is not true. Because Anthy's magic is working just fine. And his powers too.

By that point, we should see Akio’s prone to lying to others and himself. That is why I believe he was always one with Dios. Akio, his bad side and Dios, his good side, inhabited his body. However his bad side was revealed to the world and he blames his sister for it even though she was the one who defended him and prevented his premature death at the hands of the mob. The world was disappointed he wasn’t perfect. He blames his sister for the discovery and the world demanding that perfectionism from him in the first place.

In the anime Akio says he wants back the power from his prince days, but he is still as powerful as he was in the past.

He takes Utena’s sword out of her chest.

And he teleports Anthy to the stairs leading to the castle.

There’s obviously some degree of magic he wields. On top of that, when Utena opens the Rose Gate, he orders her not to open it.

My first assumption is that he wanted to be the one to do open the gate, but shouldn’t he have said something like “Utena, you don’t understand how dangerous that is! Let me do it”? Instead his first instinct is to scream her not to open it. Why? Because he doesn’t want the power beyond the gate. In reality, he is scared of it. Deep down he wants the gate to remain close for all eternity because that keeps Ohtori operating. I don’t know if he takes any excuse that blinds him from the bitter truth consciously or not, but he does it: the power of revolution is for him to have his powers back, the power of revolution is for his sister to have her magic back. He created a system in which he never has to grow, a functioning coffin in which he is the master of everything. The only thing in his mind is to keep it running.

Now that is out of the way, let’s move on to another scene.

When Touga starts talking about this trauma, at some point a machine starts pulling the sheets, making them move. This serves as a visual representation of Ohtori, our trauma-fueled machine, waking up from its long sleep. That sex scene between Touga and Shiori is a form of trauma bonding. Trauma intertwining if you will. Touga is engaging in the same pattern of behavior he used to engage in with Akio (having sex with someone he “schemes with”). Still in bed, he shares with Shiori a hurtful truth: his dad sold him to his adoptive father who sexually abused him as a child. In the scene that shows the act, Touga is lying down in a field of lettuces.

Just like Adonis was in his death.

And that represents the death of a side of Touga. A death that hindered his relationship with his sister and caused him to resent her so much. A death that ruined his relationship with his best friend who sensed Touga’s emotional distance and confused it with superiority.

I’m aware some people interpret lettuce fields as male sexual impotence, but that is clearly not the case with Touga. In fact he copes with his sexual trauma with hyper-sexuality, but just like impotence, they are both a malfunction of sexuality.

Moving on, the camera turns towards a lettuce and we view Shiori.

There are sheets coming out of her back which shows how much compulsive heterosexuality and homophobia she has assimilated, and how she views them as the answer that will make her misery disappear. If she clutches to those ideas, she can be “free” like a butterfly. Also, we can interpret that scene as her response to Touga’s trauma. “Yes, my homophobia was right because one man did something terrible to a boy.” You know, classic talking points for homophobes.

This trauma intertwining and Shiori inserting herself in Touga’s flashbacks mark the birth of, you guessed it, more trauma. This is the product that such system as Ohtori creates: misery and emotional guardedness, dissatisfaction and delusion. Things Akio clutches onto and wants everyone to clutch too.

Too bad car sapphics are so hard to beat.

[unluckyhoneybee]

Little thing (Pierre Gasly)

In which you had a baby girl with Pierre but tried to keep things low. Fluff.

Note: I read this and felt the urge to have some Dad!Pierre. Mentions of Antoine. I cried a bit writing this, not gonna lie.

The beginning was difficult. We were merely kids. It was late 2019 when our little girl came to the world. When I got the positive test in February, I was one month pregnant. And it could have only been him.

It happened during Christmas. After a dinner with bithh of our families, Pierre and I had gone to a party with friends. It didn't end up as I thought. I had waken up tangled on his arms.

The call was hard to do. I couldn't find the right words. We were just friends after all.

But then the first talk about the baby came and he swore I would never have to worry about their wellness. They would have the best life. He swore I would do it too. Then he took my hand and looked into my eyes. And I knew it would be okay.

The pregnancy went well, it wasn't too difficult and the baby was healthy. We were two bet friends you would have a baby together. It could work. We would make it.

But then the accident happened and Pierre lost his best friend. He spent the night curled into me with his hand on my belly. It broke my heart in million pieces. But life went on and in October she came to the world.

The day was rainy and Pierre was in Italy. His mother had to call him to tell him I had gone in labor. He arrived only minutes before she was born. On time to cut the cord and kiss my forehead.

Once in the room, when we were both alone and she was sleeping, he sat next to me.

"We need to give her a name" He muttered looking at her. She was on my chest.

"Antoinette." I said with a smile. He looked at me and tears start falling from his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Of course, Pierre. He would have loved her, he was so happy. I want to honor him with this precious gift"

Antoniette was the biggest dad girl. Pierre was completely in love with her. She was the sweetest girl and had his dad's eyes but my smile and hair.

"Anthy" He had given her the nickname on her first Christmas. She was only two months old but was obsessed with papa.

The girl looked up and smiled.

"Papa!"

Pierre sighed. He had to go. He had a race.

"Come here, little thing"

Anthy got up and ran to her dad, jumping on his arms and hugged him. He laughed a bit and kissed her cheek.

"Papa has to go, cherie."

"Race!"

"Yeah, I have to race."

She pouted a bit and I walked closer to them.

"We will watch papa racing, right? Like we always do" I touched her hair and she nodded.

Pierre looked at me. He missed her a lot. He would call every day to only see her little face. Video calls at midnight in the country he was in only because it was her time to wake up.

The world knew about Antoinette Gasly. He never wanted to hide her. They didn't knew about me. Only because he was scared of the world's reaction to the nature of our relationship. We were friends at the end. Even if it was the most difficult thing.

Pierre would come home and spend the biggest time possible with our daughter. He had a room in my house, a single bed, a wardrobe and a few pictures in the walls. His favorite was the one him, Antoine and I took on April when my belly had just started showing.

It's was hard to have him around. It was since the begging when he would talk to my belly and be the cutest guy around me. Then Antoinette came to the world and we got that bond for life. He was my best friend now, my daughter's father and the man of my dreams.

Both of us had been in relationships but always ended up coming back to the other's arms. It was something usual. Me crying on his shoulder or him laying his head on my lap after a break up.

"I don't want you to go" Anthy was an energetic girl, she had started walking super soon and mumbling little words when she was way too young. Pierre said she lived fast like him.

"I now, cherie" He touched her little cheek with his fingers. "I will call you when I arrive and every night. Before you can notice, it will be Monday again and I'll be back"

She was looking at him with watery eyes.

"You will stay here with maman and have a lot of fun watching me race"

Anthy hugged him. It was always like this. She missed him enormously. She was her dad's girl.

I bit my lip as tears formed in my eyes. It broke my heart to see them like this. I crunched next to them. By experience I knew that I would have to take her from him. I caressed Pierre's back slowly and he looked at me. A tear had fallen down his cheek and I cleaned it.

"You now what, Anthy? I will bring you a little gift. Would you like that?"

She lifted her head and looked at him. A little nod and a smile was enough.

"And then on Friday maman and I will pick you from school and go to somewhere"

"Where?"

"A beautiful place. The most beautiful place."

The next Friday, Pierre made his promise true. We spent the whole weekend in a village in the north of Italy. Like a family.

Laying on the hotel room the last night with Anthy between us, he turned to look at me.

"What?" I smiled.

"I have been thinking..."

"Really?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Shup up and let me speak."

I closed my mouth and smiled.

"I want Anthy to come with me to the next GP"

I felt a shiver.

"Really?"

"Yes. I think she is old enough. We can give her some ear protection and all of that."

"Are you sure of it?" Even when he wasn't scared of showing our daughter to his fans and posting bunches of photo dumps with her, he hadn't wanted to take her to the paddock. The media was there, there were a lot of people and she would be exposed for real. She wouldn't have dad's filter of what is posted and what is not.

"I am. I have thought about it for a while. I want her to know my world. What do you think?"

I looked at Antoinette, peacefully sleeping with her hand on my chest. I knew that she would be okay, that Pierre wouldn't let anything happen to her. But letting my little girl go to another country, to a F1 Grand Prix, where there were thousands of people made me anxious.

"J-just... Promise me she won't spend a second alone. O-or that she will always have someone she knows around. You know how she is with new people and..."

"Wow, hey stop. You are coming too. If you want to, of course."

"What?" I gasped.

"Yeah. How could I take Antoinette but not you? My two favourite girls. I want you there. It has been ages sin you came with me"

I bit my lip. His favourite girls. Pierre always cherished me. He adored me. He could build an altar if you let me, but only because I was the mother of his daughter.

"What do you say? I want you both there. You don't have to be in public. You can stay whenever you want. You know how it works."

I nodded slowly.

"Okay"

"Yeah?"

"Yes, we will go with you"

That's how we ended in Belgium, as rainy and cold as always. Anthy wanted the sun, so she was a bit grumpy that morning. She had thrown a tantrum because her papa wasn't there when she woke up. She didn't shed a single tear, but decided that it was a good idea to demolish the sofa. Luckily, she was to small to cause some actual damage.

I was carrying her on my hip as Pyry kept the huge Alpha Tauri umbrella over us. The kid wanted to say hi to uncle Pyry, but she was faking her best anger face. I could see Pyry making silly faces on the corner of my eye, and soon Anthy was laughing and covering her mouth.

"You have to behave or your dad won't let you see the car. A bird told me"

Anthy looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows.

"It's true, only good girls get to see the cars" I told her.

"I'm good"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"And what about this morning?"

She gave me her best puppy eyes.

"No tell Papa"

"Don't tell Papa. That's how you say it. I won't if you promise to behave during the weekend"

"I promise."

When we arrived at the garage, everyone was fussing around Antoinette. Baby Gasly was the cutest thing in the world and everyone agreed with that. She was grabbing your hand and smiling. She loved the attention. And suddenly...

"Papa!!!" She let your hand go and ran to Pierre.

It got Pierre a bit by surprise. He was talking to an engineer and turned around with a huge smile, catching his girl in his arms and hugging her.

"Mon cherie!" He kissed her cheeks multiple times. "Oh look at you!"

She was wearing one of her Dad's merch t-shirts and looked the cutest. It warmed my heart to see how Pierre looked at our daughter. It was so perfect.

"You look so beautiful, little lady"

Anthy smiled and blushed, suddenly shy. She hid on Pierre's neck and he laughed. Pierre told something to the engineer and walked towards Pyry and me.

"Good morning, YN"

""Afternoon, actually" We both laughed and he leaned to kiss my cheek, leaving me speechless and shaking.

"I got everything set for the two of you. You will have access to my motorhome and driver's room. And Pyry can help you with whatever you need. There is food back there. The toilets are right over there and..."

"Papa! The car!" Anthy cut Pierre's rambling and the three of us laughed.

"She wants to see the car." I told him.

"And you were talking too much" Pyry patted Pierre's shoulder. "I'll be back there setting everything"

Pyry left us and Pierre looked at me and smiled. A smile I could not read. His blue eyes looked different today.

"Okay, okay. I'm nervous" He confessed. I didn't want to get too close because there were cameras and media people everywhere. But I discreetly touched his hand.

"We will be okay"

"Papa!" Anthy grabbed his face and made him turn his face. "The car!"

"Okay, okay, let's go and see the car."

I smiled when Anthy squeaked happily. She was a ray of sunshine.

This weekend was hard for Pierre. This place brought so many things to the surface and to see him so smiley with our daughter made me happy.

Pierre helped Anthy to get into the car and she grabbed the wheel instantly. "She is a natural. Are you gonna race like Papa when you are a bit older?" He asked touching her head.

I got my camera out and took as many pictures as I could. It was her first Grand Prix and I was sure Pierre would want to remember it and show her when she grew up.

"Yes! Race"

"Anty?!"

"Yuki!" Anthy loved Yuki. She was so smitten with the guy. It was incredible. He was super shy around her at first, it took him so long to even pick her up, but then... They were besties.

"Hello!"

Yuki leaned on the car too.

"Tell Yuki what are you gonna do when you are older"

"Race! Like Papa and Yuki and Charles."

Everyone in the garage laughed.

"Do we have a Tifosi here?" Someone asked.

"Leclerc has a charm" Pierre said.

"Papa goes fast, but Charles goes fast fast"

Everyone was laughing in the garage.

"We need you guys to fix the cars, we want to go fast fast" Yuki said.

"Yes! Work!!"

Anthy was having so much fun she didn't even cry when Pierre had to leave a couple of times. After lunch, she was playing with Pyry and a ball when Pierre touched my arm.

"I'm going to go and give some flowers to Antoine"

"Okay" I nodded understanding.

"Do you mind if Anthy comes with me?"

I took his hand, not minding the people around us. Pierre always said that the world took his friend from him but gave him his little princess to make his life easier.

"Of course, I don't mind"

"Thank you"

"It's okay"

He took my hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

Later in the afternoon, Pierre sat Anthy down on a couch and took his hands.

"Do you remember Antoine?"

She nodded. She was too young yet to understand why Antoine wasn't here or what happened with him, but Pierre always spoke about him.

"We are going to take some flowers to him."

"Flowers?"

"As a gift. Because he is in heaven."

She nodded and jumped down the sofa. Anthy took Pierre's hand.

"Let's go Papa. Maman!"

I looked at Pierre.

"Come with us" He whispered.

"You sure?"

He just nodded.

Walking down the track, I carried the umbrella and had Anthy's hand on mine. She had her own little umbrella. Pierre had a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

When we arrived at the place, I gave Pierre the spare umbrella I had and kept Anthy on my side for a bit. He needed space. Watching him like this reminded me of the day when everything happened. It was probably one of the worst days of my life.

When Pierre let his head hang down, I leaned over Anthy's ear. "Yo and give Papa the biggest bear hug, okay?"

With her little umbrella and her water boots, she ran in Pierre's way and hugged him. They almost fall into the puddle next to them. I cleaned my tears when Pierre nuzzled on Anthy's hair.

I observed for a while. They talked in french. It was their thing. They were confident. Probably she was curious, asking questions about Antoine and the flowers.

Pierre took a couple of flowers from the bouquet and gave them to Anthy. Then got up. I walked to them to have the umbrella while he put the flowers in place. Anthy watched with attention what her dad did.

"Now, come here Anthy. Give those flowers to Antoine"

She nodded and took her dad's hand, letting her flowers right next to Pierre's.

"Bye-bye Antoine, See you next year" She said and made grabby hands at Pierre. He picked her in his arms, keeping her close under his coat.

I covered my mouth to not sob and Pierre pressed his forehead against Anthy's temple.

"Je t'aime tellement, Anthy" I hear him whisper.

"Je t'aime too, Papa"

I little laugh escaped my lips hearing the girl's broken French.

"You say Je t'aime aussi"

Anthy repeated it and Pierre kissed her cheek.

"You are so precious, do you know that? You are the best thing I have."

She smiled.

Pierre looked at me and lift his arm, taking me by surprise and hugging me hard. I hugged his waist, keeping the umbrella over us and leaning to kiss his cheek.

"Hey, I love you so much, okay? Both of you."

I knew why he was saying it and I felt a shiver. I couldn't lose him.

"We love you too, right Antoinette?"

"So so much, Papa. And Maman too"

"Yeah, and Maman too."

I blushed. Probably Pierre didn't loved me in the same way, but having his daughter was one of the best things in my life and I was happy enough with it.

Before the race, Pierre called us. He had a bag in front of him.

"Do you want to see what I got for this race, Cherie?"

"Yes!"

She sat on my lap and watched how Pierre took the helmet out of its bag. I gasped. It was so beautiful.

"Who is that, baby?" Pierre pointed one of the pics and Anthy clasped.

"Anthy!"

"Look at you baby! On Papa's helmet!"

"And Maman too!" Anthy pointed another picture and I felt my heart beating faster. It was a picture of Pierre and me, probably one of the first with the bump. His hand was splayed over it and were both smiling.

"And Maman too." Pierre looked at me with a soft smile and if it wasn't for all the people around us, I would have kissed him.

"It's pretty" It was her favourite color too. "Do you like it Maman!?"

"A lot baby" I said touching her hair.

Pierre took my hand and kissed my knucles.

"I can have you with me during the race, on my helmet."

"Race!"

"Antoinette, give Papa a big bug hug and a good luck kiss" I said trying to swallow my tears.

Anthy jumped from my lap and hugged Pierre, who lifted he on his arms as gave her a thousand kisses.

"Good luck, Papa. Race fast." She grabbed his cheeks and looked into his eyes. "Fast, fast"

Anthy kissed Pierre's nose and I melted. Tears picked in my eyes. It was always scary to watch him race, now that we were here it was even worse.

"Super fast."

Anthy laughed and hugged his neck. "I love you so so much, Anthy. You know it right?"

She nodded.

"I'm so happy that you and Maman are here"

Pierre looked at me for a second and I tried to compose myself.

Anthy hugged him again and then Pierre looked at Pyry, who nodded.

"Anthy. Let's go and see if they built the car well"

She was so happy to go with uncle Pyry, leaving Pierre and I alone. I was confused.

Pierre reached for me and made me stand. His hands cupped my checks and I closed my eyes.

"Don't cry, Cherie"

I tried not to sob. He hugged me then, embracing me with his strong arms.

"Be careful, Pierre. Don't leave us alone, okay?"

Hu hugged me tighter.

"I won't. I will come back. I promise." He whispered.

I pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"We will be here waiting for you."

"If anything happens... Don't let her see it"

"Pierre..."

"No. I will come back. I promise I will do my best. But if anything... Y-you know how I feel about this. Just promise me she won't see it"

Tears were falling down my face. It was different here. We weren't in our sofa. We were in the garage.

"I promise."

"I will be back"

"Good luck, Pierre. Drive safe, okay?"

"Of course"

He kissed my cheek and hugged me again. Then he cleaned my cheeks.

Together we left the room. Anthy was inspecting the car with Pyry. She gave Pierre a last kiss and hug before he put the helmet on, and I grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"I love you, girls"

"We too" Anthy said happily.

The race was rainy. I spent the whole time tapping my foot on the floor. The anxiety was growing on my chest. Pierre was doing good, but other drivers had problems with the water. Anthy was watching the race, laughing and cheering for her dad when an Alpha Tauri appeared on the screen. Sometimes it was Yuki, but she was happy.

When Pierre crossed the finish line, all the wait in my shoulders fell. Pyry looked at me and smiled. "He keeps his promises."

I nodded.

"Baby, let's get your coat. You can go with uncle Pyry to look for him"

Pyry gave me a sad look that I didn't understood. I wanted to go, but I was just his daughter's mother and the press had already seen too much about us. I knew there were rumors, people talking about us and I didn't want more.

I waited on his driver's room for a long hour, checking my phone and reading how Antoinette Gasly was the centre of attention of the whole paddock. She had done press with her dad, telling them he was the best but uncle Charles drove fast fast and won. She had taken pictures with other drivers who were so in love with the little girl. And Pierre was the happiest, forgetting about the sour feeling this circuit gave him.

And when they came back, she was way too excited, like if she had a sugar overthose. Pierre was carrying her on his arms, the little girl hanging like a koala on his side.

"Hey..." Pierre said in a sweet tone. "You could have come too"

"Nah, it's okay." I said looking at him with a smile. "Did you had fun, little thing??"

"Yes!"

"She met Charles, Seb, Lando, Danny... She saw a lot of her friends today, right Anthy?" Pierre asked her.

"Charles won!"

"And which place did Papa finished?"

"Sefen"

I laughed

"Seven. Papa finished seven. Because you gave him the biggest good luck hug."

"My lucky charm, eh?"

Pierre looked at me with a smile. He was so beautiful, so precious. He was the perfect man, the best one to be my kid's father. I couldn't have asked for better. It was perfect.

"She is"

"You want to come to more races?" Pierre said tickling her belly.

"Yes!"

Pierre looked at me then.

"And you?"

My smiled faded.

"Me?"

"I can't only have Anthy here with me. We had a lot of fun this weekend, right? The three of us" He whispered the last part and walked closer to me.

I nodded a bit.

"I loved having you here"

"I-I will come, then"

"Thank you"

He hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"I will go and change and then we can go to the hotel and have dinner with Charles and Yuki. Okay?"

Anthy nodded excited.

While Pierre showered and got fresh clothes, Anthy sat next to me playing with her little Alpha Tauri. It made me think. How would it be if we were a family? A closed family? Pierre and I together. A house. Maybe a pet or two. Baby siblings for Anthy in the future...

"Maman"

"Yes, sweety"

"You love Papa?"

I frowned. What had gotten into her?

"Yes baby, a lot" I whispered putting some of her hair behind her ear.

"Papa too"

"What?"

"Papa too. He told me"

Pierre loved me? Was that what she meant?

The door opened and Anthy looked up surprised. She had her I have done something wrong face, so I supposed it was a secret. It made my heart beat fast.

Pierre was closing his shirt. He looked way too good.

"Are you ready to leave?"

We had dinner with Charles, Yuki and their trainers. Charlotte was there too. The couple couldn't stop playing with Anthy, who was growing more and more sleepier. Soon she started to yawn and looked at Pierre.

"You want too come here?"

She fell asleep on his chest. I took a photo for him, so he could add it to his photo dump. But without tell him, I put it also on my background.

When we were walking back to the room, we stayed in silence.

I opened the door and he got inside, carefully laying Anthy on the bed. Together we changed her into her pyjamas, putting care on not waking her up.

When I was covering her with the sheets, I felt a hand on my hair.

"Can we talk?" He said in the softest voice.

I looked up at him. He had a tiny smile but I was nervous anyway.

"Yes"

He took my hand hand carried me to the balcony. He leaned over the railing and grabbed both of my hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm okay. It hasn't been that bad. Not with both of you here."

I smiled a bit but gasped when he pulled me closer. I was standing between his legs now.

"P-Pierre"

"I want you to let me speak first, okay?"

I nodded.

"I have been thinking the whole weekend. I have seen other drivers and their families. They... They all look so so happy. And..."

"Aren't you happy?"

He laughed a bit and touched my cheek, cupping it softly. By instinct, I moved my cheek face closer and grabbed his waist. His touched felt like heaven.

"I know I could be happier."

Bitting my lip, I looked into his blue eyes.

"H-how?"

"With you by my side"

I felt all my strength leaving my body. Did he want me? Like I wanted him?

"If you don't feel the same, I will understand. But I need to tell you this because it has been going on for too long. After having you here all weekend I couldn't stop thinking about how things would be if we were more than friends and co-parents. I would love to give us a try. To go on dates and all of that. Not only as parents. I want Anthy to spend the night with my parents because I have taken you out on a date. I want to go back home to you and her, not no an empty apartment in Milan or your guest room."

Tears were already falling down my cheeks. Since the first time Pierre talked to the baby in my belly, I knew every other person in the world was ruined for me. He was the perfect guy for me, he was the love of my life. Anthy was right. He loved me.

"Yes"

He laughed happily.

"Yes what, Cherie? I didn't ask anything" He cupped my face with both hands.

"I want all of that with you. I love our life right now, I love what we have built around Antoinette, but I want more too. I need more. I can't let you go knowing you are only my kid's dad."

"You know that I have always been more than that, Cherie" He whispered on my lips.

I closed my eyes and kissed him. I have wanted to do it for so long. I have wanted to taste his mouth and feel his lips over mine. Huggin into him as if my life depend on it, I kissed him deeply. Finally.

"I have been waiting for so long" He whispered. "I have been in love with you since I knew you will give me a kid. You are so perfect, so strong, so beautiful"

"I love you so much, Pierre"

He pressed his forehead against mine and hugged me.

Our little moment was interrupted by loud Maman being shouted from inside.

"That little thing..." He said laughing.

"Let's go back to her." I whispered.

He leaned and gave me one last kiss.

"Let's go out and have dinner. Tomorrow or the following day. Let me take you out"

"Okay"

"I love you" He said.

"I love you too."

We kissed again and he grabbed my hand.

"Maman! Sleep"

"Yeah, yeah."

We both changed and laid with the impacient girl.

"Sleep, Papa. Good night"

"Good night baby"

"Maman. Good night"

She pulled my hand until it was over her and I was laying closer. Her little body radiated heat and it was the best feeling in the world.

"Sleep tight"

Pierre turned to his side.

"You made this whole weekend better. Thank you for coming, Cherie"

I looked at him and Pierre ran his fingers through my scalp. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Thank you for bringing me"

"You can come to all of them if you want."

I laughed a bit.

"Papa, shh"

Opening my eyes, I saw Anthy with her hand on his face. Her little body was turned to the side, her back on my chest and her hands on Pierre.

"Okay okay. Sorry. Good night, little thing"

I looked at him and smiled. I kissed her hair and grabbed Pierre's hand. I had everything I wanted now.

[dopeyapples]

so @holycalf and i were brainstorming a fanfiction neither of us will ever write based off of this post that is just genius so without further ado this is our obnoxiously long interpretation of what would happen if anthy were actually a 1 star uber driver.

anthy himemiya’s uber reviews….

-saionji’s review would be something along the lines of “she was hot and when i said so she said thanks so that was cool but she also accidentally crashed the car into a pole that almost killed me. it was on my side too but like i don’t think she meant it like that it was an accident but not very safe. two stars”

-nanami’s one star review: “what the HELL was that!!!! i thought i was going to DIE!! i can’t BELIEVE this girl!! i gave her my address FIVE times and she kept taking me to different dry-cleaners around the city!! i dont know what point she was trying to make!? and she barely even spoke english!! god she was so stupid!! i was over an hour late to my brothers birthday party!!! should be 0 STARS!!!!!”

-anthy would 100% pretend to not understand english so their interactions would be along the lines of “YOU JUST MISSED THE TURN”

-“:) miss nanami?? dry cleaners??”

-“NO!!!!”

-nanami never catches on and ends up making anthy pull over to catch a different uber because obviously she can’t drive herself

-“I DEMAND A REFUND” “miss nanami? :) i’m sorry, i don’t understand?” “GOD WHATEVER”

-juri’s would be like “Honestly…horrible service. Please, save your money. This woman yanked me by my necklace and banged my head against the dashboard, said it was an accident. Then she proceeded to drive me to a gay bar (not my location) and invited me to come in with her. I obviously refused, so she left me to sit in the car. She brought back several women that hit on me…I did not sign up for a dating service. I honestly don’t know how one person could be so incompetent. To make things worse she played some noise very loudly…said it was called “gecs” and I think the volume was at 100. Truly humiliating. One star.”

-one of the very few 5 star reviews is from kozue: “felt like i was going to die the whole time. it was awesome >:) also had some craaaaazy sex so i didn’t even have to tip!!”

-somehow miki sees it and is like “S*X??? While she was driving?? Excuse me she needs to be reported.” he has no idea it’s the same driver that he gave a three star review two days before saying, “Kind of unsafe, and all of the seatbelts were cut off? But she was very nice I actually liked her a lot :) Would definitely drive with again given she fixes the seatbelt issue.”

-also somehow anthy hacks the system so she’s always nanami’s uber and every time nanami’s like “NO!!!!!! HOW IS THIS HAPPENING”

-wakaba gives her five stars but then once she thinks about her experience she changes it to one star “she was so nice and pretty but kind of weird she didn’t talk to me even when i tried to make conversation. actually it got to the point where i felt like she wasn’t even listening. actually then she started playing this song that me and my ex boyfriend used to listen to (he ended up being gay :( ) and i started to cry so i asked her to change it but she turned it up louder? and then she dropped me off at his house, actually, and i begged her to let me go home but she just smiled and said “i’m sure he’ll let you in” and drove away what sort of monster does that also she’s not pretty i take it back actually one star. im not homophobic but one star.”

-utena leaves a two star review that just says “ummmmmm…” but then changes it a month later to a five star review with the comment, “:) love her!” thats it

-irl utena’s like “maybe you should look into a new profession, anthy” and anthy is like “but it makes me so happy utena”

-nanami sees them and is all “OH MY GOD! IT’S THE UBER DRIVER THAT TRIED TO KILL ME ONCE!” and utena’s like “HEY!!!! she’s just doing what she LOVES! take your negativity and hatred somewhere else!!”

-touga has a one star review that’s really nasty but the more you keep reading it the more obvious it is that it’s just nanami on his account

-rival uber driver akio says “ride with me instead” and everybody recognizes that its gross and his review is removed after it gets reported by utena

-also he gets run over by anthy ;) five stars from me

-shiori’s uber experience with anthy would probably just be complete silence until anthy drops her off at the local dump and shioris like -_- but she cant even argue so she just gets out of the car anyway and walks home

-but she’d leave a five star review not even mentioning it: “i paid her 20 dollars to bang my friends head against the dashboard and she did”

so. that’s what we came up with. you’re welcome

[number1villainstan]

episode 38, the third episode today because i need to watch it Now. it's also the second to last episode. holy fuck. i'm almost done with this series. i think if i go light on the notes rn i can watch episode 39 as well maybe--

starting with the previews after 37 again

the final duel, the duel called revolution, and "you still don't know the true horror of this world" has utena still not fully remembered??

OH SO WE'RE GOING STRAIGHT INTO A DUEL HERE

added hand holding scene!

it's the same pathway that led to anthy being tortured and held aloft by swords

utena's finally gonna BITCHSLAP AKIO

showing the storybook sequence--but the storybook sequence isn't actually what happened

Poison is playing--and anthy has stepped out of her role as Rose Bride, back into the clothes of the little girl being tortured

akio is actively putting utena in the passive princess role--utena! remember why you became a prince! remember what's happened to anthy! remember what happened to akio's first princess!

SHE'S REMEMBERED

that is utena's greatest strength, is that she simply does not give up. most of the time. there are ways to crack her, but her tenacity is still admirable

"i've cheated you, i've used you" like the poison scene last episode

"my protecting you was just for my own ego" like the poison scene last episode

the figure of the prince on the ball should be falling off. and also its face is hidden. is it dios' face? is it akio's?

THE PLANETARIUM??? god that makes way too much sense

"the summit of Ohtori Academy, the summit of the world itself" so Akio thinks of Ohtori as the entire world. and he's placed himself at the head of his (cock) tower while projecting a castle up higher, so that he can act like there's some ideal they can reach, but it's not actually reachable--what's here, at the summit of the world that Akio has created, is nothing more than debauchery, rape, sadism, sexism, Akio and his total control. Good god what a depressiong world that is.

"you didn't reject me" because you didn't give her a chance, asshole! another one of akio's manipulations--blaming the victim for not doing something that he caused them not to do.

(but she did try to understand anthy--maybe too little too late, but goddamnit she tried)

holy shit they put utena in the black rose elevator. but there's no butterfly in a case here, only the pink dress akio put on her

"she can no longer be happy any other way" akio shut the fuck uuuuuuupppp. this is another manipulator tactic, "you could only be happy with me cuz you're so awful, i'm the only one who will accept you, you can ONLY be this way" etc etc

the unification of the student council. they're all working together, for real now, no duels in their way.

did touga just smell saionji's rose

akio's rose is light purple, like his hair

"a child can't understand my ideals, a child couldn't undestand the value of this room, a child can't understand, child, child, don't mettle in the affairs of adults, you cannot understand so you must sit and listen and be passive and let me do to you as i wish because you do not understand so i will not explain it to you" shut up shut up shut up shut UP

holy mother of god she broke the dios statue. she broke the death of the ideal of a prince

...oh. oh no. i've seen this scene before and it doesn't end well

anthy's red dress spilling out behind her and utena like the blood that isn't physically there

"himemiya, why" indeed

Oh also, along with writing the December 2023 Monthly Short Piece today, I finally watched the first episode of Revolutionary Girl Utena after days of seeing a moot post about it and--

"I am the Rose Bride. From this day forward, I belong to you."

i am going to murder everyone in this damn school for anthy

[marrys-dream-world]

I see you've been getting quite a few discourse-y ish anons and idk how you feel about it but I figure you might want a palate cleanser so: Favorite ML ship that you never want to happen in the actual show, why, and any headcanons for them??

Thank you, anon! I don't really mind the discourse asks as long as they’re respectful and I like discussing stuff, it's not like I have the opportunity to talk about this stuff offline too. But I did need a palate cleanser (another discourse ask dropped soon after this one was sent), so let’s tackle your question:

I did spend some time thinking about it because I was unsure about what type of ship I would talk about. A ship that could realistically happen in canon? I don’t have any that I care about like that, so I’ll just talk about one that would never happen and I don’t want it to: Adrino (yeah, it now turned into one of these posts).

Adrino is my second favorite in ML because their dynamics got me on the floor and they would be the cutest couple. However, I don’t think the show is interested in developing side couples for Adrien and Marinette and would rather focus on the love square, a decision I support (even if we adrigamis were robbed). I think working on an Adrino romance in canonverse would be doable if they had started earlier, but not only were they never actually do that (though the executives’ reaction if it was ever pitched would be really funny), their friendship is only starting to get the spotlight now in season 4.

(It would also break up djwifi who are absolutely power couple goals right now and we can’t have that.)

That doesn’t stop me from having headcanons about them and dreaming:

They are the kings of mutual pining. Adrien doesn’t make a move for fear of losing his closest human friendship and he doesn’t know enough about social clues to be sure that Nino is showing interest in him. Nino doesn’t think Adrien could ever be interested in him since his only crushes were Ladybug and Kagami and Marinette who were all girls that were nothing like him and he doesn’t want to make a move and make Adrien uncomfortable and leave Adrien without a friend he can rely on.

Adrien (as Chat Noir) goes to Ladybug for advice on how to deal with his crush. She is immediately on the Chat Noir/His Crush fanclub and helps him elaborate at least ten crazy confession plans a week (was that how she dealt with her crush??)

Nino goes to Rose and Juleka as they’re the happiest same-sex (and overall tbh) couple he knows. They say they can subtly check if Adrien is interested and end up not being able to go through with the interrogation (Juleka) or not being subtle at all (Rose. “Nino is kinda cute, isn't he, Adrien? If you’re into men. Are you? Do you think Nino is-” “Hahaha, Rose, we’re late for our, huh, thing.” “What thing?” “The thing with the, you know, horses and wegottagobyeAdrien-”)

Nino is the one who confesses first after taking advice from Chat Noir as Carapace. Adrien barely lets him finish before he hugs him.

They hold hands all the time. If they aren’t taking notes in class? Hand in hand. Lunch? Hand in hand. Running from an akuma attack? Hand in- where did Adrien go?

Adrien is very shy about kissing at first, but Nino is very gentle and Adrien feels very safe with him, so he gets comfortable with it soon.

Nino loves sitting on Adrien’s lap and Adrien loves being able to wrap his arms around Nino when he does that.

They mostly have online dates because Gabriel sucks, but Adrien does sneak out at least twice a month to go to Andre’s with Nino or simply hang by his house.

Nino’s family adores Adrien and he loves them right back. His parents call him Adrien Lahiffe to tease Nino and Nino blushes all the time for it, but he doesn’t complain because Adrien gets emotional over that.

(If they ever got married, Adrien would take Nino’s surname and be very proud of being called Mr. Lahiffe.)

(They wouldn't invite Gabriel to the wedding either, good for them. Emilie is on thin fucking ice too.)

Gabriel doesn’t know about their relationship and Adrien doesn’t even try to tell him, too afraid his father would separate them. Gorilla does, though, and keeps it a secret because Adrien is really really happy.

Adrien introduces Nino to anime, who hadn’t watched anything but stuff from when he was a kid, like DBZ. Since Nino is unused to anime tropes, they bother him a lot more, so he’s picky about what to watch. They’re on their third rewatch of Revolutionary Girl Utena.

Nino goes with Adrien and Chris to anime conventions. They cosplay as Utena and Anthy (Chris goes as Naruto) and Nino lowkey hates the event but seeing Adrien happy makes it worth it. (He also gets into an argument with a guy about music in Neon Genesis Evangelion for 30 minutes.)

Nino gets irrationally insecure in their relationship sometimes, but learned to communicate about it better after his break up with Alya. Adrien always goes out of his way to show Nino how much he appreciates him when this happens, with words and romantic actions.

Nino is the first person Adrien openly talked to about how he feels towards Emilie going missing. He thinks his mother would like Nino a lot.

When they grow up and move in together (Gabriel is in jail and only gets vent visits from Adrien), they adopt a turtle called The Quickster (emphasis on the "the") and a cat called Nanami.

[ywhiterain]

I VIOLENTLY DISAGREE!!!

The idea that the point of Utena’s disappearance is about erasing her from the story is BONKERS!!!!!

Utena is dense with symbolism, metaphor, and allegory. It doesn’t really hold your hand.

But the last scene was Anthy literally telling Akio that Utena was only erased from his abusive control and Anthy then leaves, too.

Utena cannot topped the patriarchy. No one person can do that. But what she can do is free herself from the toxic ideas limiting her and hold out her hand to the girl she loves and help her break free from an abusive man.

It’s not satisfying as a typical narrative. Because it never was. How much is real and how much is imagined was never explained because that was never the point!

The Teen Titans cartoon tried to do a similar ending but it didn’t quite land because there wasn’t a strong thesis running through the series. Which is fine, because Teen Titans was not a story unified by a strong set of themes - it was a superhero narrative that borrowed and explore different types stories.

But Utena was pretty consistent about exploring how misogyny informs and damages every part of our lives, our bodies, and even our memories.

Anthy and Utena break free. Most of the teenagers are growing out of selfish and destructive patterns and there’s real hope that they can find their own revolution that will bring genuine happiness.

Except Akio, but that’s because of the choices he made. Some people are like that. He’s oddly sympathetic in his awfulness - and he’ll never be happy. And that’s about the only type of ending powerful men who abuse their power like him can get in a story like this, I think.

I kept thinking about what I wanted for his ending. Killing him would be unsatisfying because he’s just a symptom of a larger problem and a redemption would take away from the where the story needed to be - on Anthy and Utena. But him losing Anthy, the only person he cares about as ugly as that love was, who walks away on her own terms? Yeah. That works.

[yellowocaballero]

I know next to nothing abt utena but I. I kinda am extremely curious abt the utena vs mcu comparative analysis? if you feel like sharing lmao absolutely no worries if not

I love all of you because I will post obviously bait and someone will always indulge me in asking about it. NO I don’t want to unprompted just start rambling about my opinions, YES I will share them though. I will make this as short as possible because I can talk about Utena all day. I will add a disclaimer that I don’t super like the MCU so I’m very sorry to any MCU fans, Winter Soldier was good. Slight, vague spoilers for Utena ahead. 

TL;DR: MCU is constantly selling feminism in the form of palatable #bossbabes and Strong Female Characters, while Utena’s form of feminism is a more systematic and nuanced interview of how the patriarchy limits, exploits, and controls women. It posits that a woman CANNOT be a #bossbabe while she’s within that system, and only by leaving it can she find independence and identity. MCU is sponsored by the Air Force.

So for the uninitiated, Utena is a magical girl anime that I’ve been jokingly calling Evangelion: For Her. It deconstructs magical girl anime and fairy tales, and critically examines Japanese society, the patriarchy, heteronormative culture, and IN MY OPINION boarding schools. It deals with themes of trauma, toxic relationships, toxic masculinity, gender non-conformity, queerness, abuse, maturity, coming of age, gender roles, memory, and narrative. 

I’ve joked recently that Tumblr would find Utena problematic if it actually talked about the show beyond the killer aesthetic and sword lesbians. Every female character in it is obsessed with men. Most of them are in abusive, or at least toxic, relationships. It has several gender nonconforming, queer women, who view gender nonconformity as adopting the role of a man in society and thereby idealizing/controlling/abusing women, as men do. Every character is a hugely complicated person who hurts others. Men control women and women are either subservient and controlled by men, or they use their position of assumed subservience to manipulate men, or they attempt to regain power by taking the role of men. 

On the flip side. Utena demonstrates how every character is turned into this through the rigid and restrictive nature of (it’s Japanese, so Japanese, although it’s broadly applicable) society. Women who do not fit into these pre-set molds are punished and ostracized. Young boys are groomed by older men in order to fit these abusive molds, and otherwise well meaning men hurt women because they are not taught how to interact with women in healthy ways. The show is basically about how society takes the genuine need for love, intimacy, and human connection among children and beats them into societally accepted molds that keep power in the hands of powerful men. The patriarchy is ultimately a tool of powerful men that abuses and controls both men and women. Ever hear of no ethical consumption under capitalism? Try no ethical love under the patriarchy! 

So, no, Utena doesn’t really have a lot of ‘strong female characters’. But that’s really kind of the point - how can a woman be strong in this system? When a woman tries to gain strength, does she just try to imitate masculine values that we’re brainwashed into perceiving as strength? Is masculinity healthy? Can Utena really be gnc, or will a gnc woman never be accepted as a man by a society that profits off the victimization of women?

I’m not asking the MCU to analyze all of this, because they’re blockbuster movies and I don’t want or need them to get #deep. However, superhero movies will never look at the systematic and societal structures that build heroes and villains so long as the nature of superheroes inherently hinges upon the ‘Great Man’ system (basically an obsession with heroes and salvation through singular men instead of communities and movements). The MCU Spider-Man movies were so frustrating about this: it goes through the effort of saying that capitalism and injustice created the Vulture, but all that does is make a sympathetic villain - it never goes so far as to say that Peter is being fed into this system (by Tony Stark) like meat into a meat grinder that continues to prioritize the special over the collective. I don’t even need to get into Far From Home. The MCU constantly acknowledges these injustices (the way it acknowledges that the Air Force in Captain Marvel is sexist and racist) but it twists around that acknowledgement into assertion that superheroes and good guys CAN exist in this unjust system, and that they can utilize the power of this unjust system in order to provide salvation. Utena has Japanese Buddhist roots over this Christian ideal of the saviour/messiah: it encourages saving ourselves, and says that we cannot be saved by others, only aided and guided in that journey. 

Captain Marvel cannot be a ‘feminist’ film, no matter how much it celebrates Carol for embracing her individuality and autonomy in a discriminatory system, so long as Carol remains within that system. In contrast, the only way that Utena was able to live in gay happiness with Anthy was by rejecting the patriarchy, structure, and society completely. Carol is a shining, premier, ‘ideal’ example of a woman in the Air Force - tough and independent yet obedient and responsible to her system. Utena is also masc and gnc, but it actually explores how performing that masculinity isn’t a repudiation of the system, it’s just striving to attain status as the oppressor instead of the oppressed (absolutely crucial note that Utena doesn’t strive to be a man, she strives for masculinity). The #girlbosses in Black Panther are characterized by their complete and total loyalty and lack of ambition to authoritarian male figures and autocratic systems (Black Panther is really good and I like it a lot, this isn’t a criticism). Judi in Utena is also completely obedient and loyal to the male-dominated structure of the Student Council, but it’s shown as preventing her from accepting her lesbianism and pursing her desires. Black Widow, #girlboss extraordinaire, is devalued as a woman through her infertility and this is completely played straight and uncritically in a move that’s stunningly 1970s. Nanami in Utena (metaphorically) is confronted with her perceived lack of suitability for maternal life - and how the reason why she’s desperate for this is because it’s the promised unconditional love she never received. This isn’t even getting into the men - Tony Stark using tools of war to end war, which is an oxymoron. Peter Parker’s divorce from his working class roots into mindless imitation of authoritarian paternal figures and him literally being handed the cutsey drone strikes. Women in the MCU are ‘cool’, women in Utena are complex, flawed, and nuanced. 

We know the MCU isn’t woke. I don’t want it to be woke. But it keeps on pretending to try and it’s frustrating me. It continually just gets enough there to make me think about it and give the shiny sheen of that feminism while refusing to engage meaningfully with what they’re doing. I’d rather they didn’t try at all, because they consistently raise the question (hey it’s fucked up that the working class is getting screwed over and the Vulture’s doing what he’s doing for a reason!) and then refuse to answer it authentically or genuinely (but he’s evil so we don’t gotta touch that). I’m not gonna use the word pandering, but...that #girlboss shot in Endgame, come on...

Utena meaningfully treats the women as women who Live In A Society, and how that fucks them up, and how the only way they can be free is if they realize there’s no wizard behind the curtain, recognize the injustices, and repudiate the game. MCU says that a woman can be liberated and strong if she achieves specialness and strength within the system - if she ‘wins’ the game. But women don’t win this game. That’s the point of the game. Because when women win, men perceive themselves as losing, and that’s unacceptable. Captain Marvel and the MCU is a consolation prize for what women are consistently denied: complex and flawed characterizations. 

I’m normally uninterested by #feminism but Utena gets it. Thanks for the ask! 

[palms-upturned]

Tell us about the rgu flower language stuff!! If u have the time

OH BOY DO I!!! THANK YOU ANON I WOULD LOVE TO ;_;

well there’s a whole lot of wonderful stuff in the show but i guess a great place to start would be the duelist colors!!

green roses don’t occur naturally (not the kind of roses you would picture, anyway) so they don’t have a strong association in floriography or hanakotoba as far as i know, but green is certainly a fitting color for saionji lol, mr green with envy…

miki’s blue rose doesn’t occur naturally either, but it’s taken on some pretty strong symbolic connotations due to attempts to breed them!! blue roses stand for love at first sight sometimes, but more importantly they stand for unattainable things, like the standards that miki holds women like anthy and (especially) kozue to. and interestingly, kozue’s hair is a much more purple shade than miki’s bright blue, and i think that’s because attempts to breed blue roses resulted often in new shades of purple. so kozue is the failed attempt to raise a prodigy and miki is the success 😔

juri’s orange rose represents an ambiguous love somewhere between a red rose (romance/passion) and a yellow rose (friendship). pretty self explanatory when it comes to this lesbian icon and what happened between her and shiori 😔 also makes it pretty hilarious that anthy keeps trying to offer juri an orange rose in episode seven sjsgsjdhdh [anthy voice] I know your gay

nanami’s yellow rose can represent friendship as mentioned, but also jealousy 😔 another one that’s pretty self explanatory, nanami is a very jealous person when it comes to touga and what he represents to her, without touga she’s “just another fly in the swarm,” so she challenges any threat that would make her question her place in the world with a yellow rose 😔😔😔

and then there’s touga and his red rose, which ofc stands for passion and romantic love. another one that’s pretty self explanatory for mr playboy, but becomes a bit sad and ironic by the end of the show when he starts to realize that the way he lives his life fucking sucks lol and that akio intentionally groomed him into such a pos that when he started to realize that he was actually being victimized, he had already burned all of his bridges and had no one else to turn to (except saionji, which is pretty dire 💀). in saionji’s words, mr red rose has never actually loved anyone and doesn’t realize it until he’s most in need of someone to love him enough in spite of everything to help him escape akio and this hell school

anthy and akio both have purple hair, and purple roses are associated w royalty, mystery, and magic, v fitting for them both. akio also duels with a purple rose in episode 38 iirc

utena duels with a white rose because white roses stand for ideals and devotion! and the ideal that she’s so devoted to is dios as her image of a prince. it’s really dios’s duel color and not hers, because…

in episode 12, when dueling touga to reclaim herself, utena wears a rose of her true color: pink! pink roses stand for trust… happiness… gratitude… you see pink roses often throughout the show, one of my fav examples being that anthy is framed by pink roses the first time utena sees her in episode one 🥺 and in episode two, there’s a vase of them in their shared room!! and ofc, in the finale, the door to eternity is overgrown with pink roses… and when anthy leaves in the final scene of the show, she’s wearing a pink outfit 🥺🥺🥺

anyway this all makes it p fun to rewatch the show and take note of what color the spinning rose frames are during certain scenes and what they’re telegraphing! the red rose during the cantarella scene when utena says “what a coincidence, i poisoned your tea” makes me lose my mind. she really said “oh yeah well im in love with you so there.”

also… this isn’t related to roses but an additional little flower language rant. but the fact that the series never uses forget me nots makes me lose it. they get their name from a german folk tale about a couple walking beside a river when the woman sees some pretty blue flowers on the bank and asks her lover to fetch them for her, but he ends up falling into the river and gets swept away, but tosses the flowers back to his lover and cries, “forget me not!” and with all the different iterations of the tale of the drowning boy in the river and the idea of memories/truths being warped by the narratives that society tells us, i CANNOT BELIEVE that the movie especially never used forget me nots ��😭😭 it seriously makes me more frustrated than it should LMAO i gotta draw lots and lots of art of rgu characters with forget me nots just to make myself less mad

ANYWAY THANK YOU ANON FOR ENGAGING IN MY SPECIAL INTERESTS W ME IT HELPED ME PASS THE TIME WHILE WAITING FOR A RIDE HOME AND ALSO MADE ME HAPPY :] if you ever have questions abt flowers or other imagery in an utena scene… i got u

[ghostie-gengar]

Ok so i have had this idea of an AU where N has like an actual known mother for like so long and i just. i have to get it out i need to so here’s a very very watered down version of her story with events that are so unlikely but whatever i just (warning it’s really long despite being a summary so prepared to get smacked with mom lore)

so. Her name is helen and she is a very nice lady. like SUPER NICE like you could break into her house and she’d be like “oh hey :) would you like some cookies i can put on a pot of tea” but also not a doormat. she Would Not hesitate to tell ghetsis off or smack anyone who hurts her kids.

anyways helen and ghetsis met in their mid to late teens, became friends (somehow :/ ghetsis was quite the charismatic young guy i imagine) and got married in their 20s. after a couple years twins!! im sure i don’t need to tell you how that happened. anyways concordia and anthea popped up and they were quite the handful but helen absolutely adored them and ghetsis was just kinda like “ok whatever children”

oh also im not sure if i’ll keep this but helen can sooooort of understand pokemon and N got that ability from her

oh also btw helen and ghetsis formed team plasma together see helen’s idea was to create like a pokemon relief center kinda like a sanctuary idk and ghetsis’ branch of family was kinda like a cult that thought humans and pokemon should be separate and ghetsis wanted to use that for more power and saw helen and was like “i can use this :)” anyways moving on

One day helen and ghetsis were taking a lovely stroll and they came across these young triplets who were homeless and helen was like “mine” so they adopted them and ghetsis twisted it to make it seem like He was the cool one who saved them so they’d listen to him (shadow triad)

this is kinda where team plasma begins to seem more evil and helen is catching on but she’s like “noooo ghetsis wouldn’t do that” (girl you’re wrong)

anyways once concordia and anthea are like eight or nine a little natural harmonia gropius pops up!! and helen is overjoyed cuz like she secretly always wanted six kids and now one two three four five six!!!!

she and ghetsis are also quick to notice how much n looks like ghetsis and ghetsis is mentally like “haha yes mini me >:D”

Then team plasma is very clearly a cult like helen can’t even deny it anymore and she tries to bring it up to ghetstink but he just waves her off like “now now dear don’t be silly” and she’s like >:(

ghetsis starts taking about making n the king of team plasma and helen’s like “well only if he wants to right” and ghetsis is like “no”

he only wants to use N more when he figured out N could understand pokemon cuz like he’d babble to helen’s minccino (oh yeah btw helen has a minccino)

theeeeeeeeeeen helen walks in on ghetsis being mmmmmmmmmmmm not good to concordia and concordia and anthea are both crying and helen is like “DUDE” and makes him sit down and have a serious talk about proper parenting which ghetsis also brushes off

then after a couple of days, concordia and anthea run away and helen is obviously absolutely devastated and she and ghetsis look for weeks. months. And no sign of them. ghetsis is like “well i guess they’re dead nvm then” and helen is like “DUDE” and she looks in the girls’ bedroom and finds a note from the girls that tells her to keep n safe and not to worry about them

after thinking about all the crap stuff ghetsis has done lately helen takes n in the middle of the night and runs. no looking back. bye bye ghetstink :( and life is much better honestly

she lives in that trailer in lostlorn with lil baby n and her plan was to wait for him to be able to walk and fend for himself and then they’d both go look for concordia and anthea but until then peaceful forest life playing with pokemon

And ghetsis upon waking up and seeing his wife and kid is gone he’s very upset. after a few years however he’s walking in like white forest or something and stUmbles upon concordia and anthea and he’s like “frickin sweet man” and snatches them and they are Not Happy but when they get back to the castle and see helen and n are gone? they are So Relieved those two got away even if they had to stay there

Anyways once n was three or four he was fine he could walk and he loved to wander around and make pokemon friends and he’d always come back to the trailer

one day ghetsis was walking through lostlorn for no particular reason and he came across n playing and recognized him immediately and was like “Oh My God No Way” and committed grand theft natural right there on the spot

but before he left he left a note for helen to find that said “did you really think you could hide forever” just to rub salt in the wound

anyways helen is like man it’s getting late i wonder where little natural is and so she gets a pidove to go look for him and the pidove brings back the note and when she sees it. tears. literal tears and sobbing she’s like “oh my god he has him He Has Him” and then she’s like “k you know what? Imma go get him i will go GET my child from this stinky man watch me grab my coat and i will get back the boy and if he has the girls too i’ll take them too and”

and then!! The shadow triad appear in the trailer (they all have names that only helen bothered to learn) and they’re like “hey so we kinda have strict orders from ghetsis that if we see you in the castle or anywhere near team plasma we kinda have to tell ghetsis and he’ll hurt n so maayyybe don’t?”

and helen is like crap. like genuinely there is no good solution cuz if she goes and fails to get the n back ghetsis would hurt n and if she did get the n back ghetsis would hurt the shadow triad and so she’s stuck and she has no choice but to just let everything happen

But!!! This story has a happy ending!!!

so i didn’t mention this cuz my thoughts are all over the place but helen likes to paint and so in order to cope with everything she painted her kids and they’re like really good anyways

N meets her at some point after bw2 cuz he was in lostlorn and it was raining and zoroark ran into her trailer and he was like “zoroark you Cannot Be Here we need to go” and helen walked in and she recognized him immediately like she was internally like holy arceus above that is my son that is my son that is my

but N doesn’t remember her like at all so she doesn’t want to say anything in case she overwhelms him and N is like “i am so sorry for coming in here my zoroark just hey you know what i’ll just leave”

Meanwhile she’s trying not to cry and she’s looking from n to a painting of n she did and she’s like holy arceus and she’s like “nono you can stay for tea until the rain is over”

And n had also noticed the painting and he was like that’s literally me but didn’t want to say anything

So n stays for tea and they have a lovely chat and helen is like this is literally my son and he has no idea who i am and then the rain stops so n leaves and helen is just like. Sad

But then n comes back another day and stays for tea again cuz they kinda became buddies and n is about to leave but he stops. at the doorway and slowly turns around and is like “i feel like i know you from somewhere” and helen is like “???” about to cry again

And you can like see the gears turning in n’s brain and he just freezes. and he looks up. And he’s like “.......mom?”

tears. Everywhere and both of them are sobbing and hugging each other and helen’s like “omg you’re so tall look at you how you’ve grown” and more tears and they literally hug for like hours while helen tells the story and helen was like starting to calm down and n’s like “btw connie and anthy are alive” and she just starts crying again and then they go to the house in driftveil so helen can see the girls and everyone just starts crying the girls are freaking out cuz they never knew what happened to mom and rood was there and crying like “mistress helen you’re alive ma’am” and just. big group hug and the shadow triad probably teleport in there for like five minutes and helen will absolutely not let them go without hugs even if they still work for ghetsis and yeah. that’s the very long summary of n’s mom imagine how long it would have been if i like actually wrote it professionally ok bye