#he may be a disaster but I can't really judge him there

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

May I request Great Seven Yuu with no filter? Maybe the other students are just TESTING THEM that day and with a little prodding from their darling parents, they just say what’s on their mind for the day

Yuu + The Great Seven

Note: This is different from my other great 7 fics as I don't focus on what the 7 say as much here, this also aint the canon unit yuu for this. Anyways enjoy

Cws: Gn!Yuu, Rook is clowned on cause he's French, implications of Crewel/Crowley but in a divorcee way, some cringe ig, minor changes to canon, first years are ur homies, sebek has moments where he yells in all caps cause he's cringe, Lilia knows Maleficent, Trey isn't slandered as much as he should be, Starts off Crack, turns to angst, then fluff. 6k Words

****

Since arriving at NRC, you have been playing your role well, excellent even. You played the role of a magicless, weak, and gullible prefect that knew nothing of the world you were in. The mirror said that you “had too many souls to judge” and that you had no magic, which was technically true as the magic you had was borrowed from the seven sealed within you.

It was going to be perfect. You can finally lay low and research this world to give your dear seven parents and their familiars bodies again, then make your place in this new world… or so you thought. 

Right after the disaster that was the entrance ceremony, you ended up being roommates with the cat and crashed it. Fine, you could work with this. Then the very next day, the cat got into a fight with a pathetic bully which caused a statue to get burned, which then caused another person to get involved, which then caused a chandelier to break, and then you had to go off into a hidden mine to fight a monster late into the night, and you get the story.

It has been consistently difficult to pretend you had no magic, or to make the excuse that “someone else must have casted that spell”. When you eventually had to explain that you were a magician, there went the first half of your plan. Now Crowley and everyone seems to expect more from you, at least you were able to pretend it was weak, you guess. And as if it could get any worse, the seven seem to be encouraged to give these brats a taste of their own medicine and stop holding back. Oh how you would love to but putting up with everyone after, especially the number one pain in your ass, Ace, would be so fucking annoying.

The aforementioned pain in your ass poked you, interrupting the mental conversation you were having with the ensemble in your head, and you had to hold back the urge to use Hades’ flames to set him ablaze. You shut your eyes tightly and tense up before slowly turning to him. “What?” Your eyes narrow as Ace looks over at you with the most infuriating neutral expression that turns to a pout. 

“Were you even listening to me?” “Look, it’s nothing personal, it’s just how I am.” Ace’s lips pursed as he raised a brow. “Really?” Deuce nudged Ace. “Hey, be nice, you know they don't mean to space off like that, it's their condition.” Deuce was truly a blessing. “Seems to me like Yuu is just a space case,” Grim snickered and Sebek nodded his head. “I completely agree with Grim! Honestly, how could you and Silver be so complacent? Do you lack discipline?”

You mentally groaned with the seven at Sebeks scolding. “They don’t lack discipline,” Jack interrupted, “Yuu says they have a condition that delays their thoughts, they need extra time to process what you said.” “Thank you, Jack.” You smile, and feel Ortho glide right next to you and look up at you. “Having a condition like that must be hard… I can't imagine my processor lagging…” Ortho trails off and frowns, “Oh but I’ll try my best to look for a fix for you!” The child beams. Epel looks over at you.

“That is one hell of an issue huh? Some days you're just as quick as anyone else but then sometimes you take forever, it's a fickle thing.” Epel hums and Ace rolls his eyes at everyone defending you. “Tch, yeah what's that about? Sometimes I even hear you talking to yourself, weirdo.” Ace playfully nudges you and you narrow your eyes at him. 

Something within you snaps. Maybe it’s because of all the stress of hiding it. Maybe it's because you have to interact and pretend everything is fine to the students who have bullied, harassed, and tried to kill you resulting in god awful PTSD finally making you snap. Or maybe it's just because you want this damned asshole that has wormed his way into your heart to shut up.

“Because ‘thought processing disorder’ isn’t the best way to actually describe my condition, Ace, but it's sure as hell easier to explain than ‘I have several voices in my head judging me and telling me what to do all the time and no medication cannot stop it no matter what I do and all of your stupid comments and questions makes them erupt in a 10 minute yelling match making it impossible to hear my own thoughts!” 

You sneer at them all as they look over with a mix of surprise and pity, Ortho looks like a kicked puppy. You sigh, “I’m sorry, I just…” “Nah that's nothing to apologize for…” Ace sighs, and you know he wants to apologize but pride won't allow him. “Y’know what if you just say what the voices want to say?” Deuce suddenly asks out of the blue.

“O-of course, I don't know what they say so maybe it's not a good idea but…” “Actually, it may give Ace some patience for once.” Jack gives a small smirk. “We all know he needs to learn to think before he speaks.” “Hey!” Ace huffs. “Fine then, bring it! I can take whatever you throw at me.” And the ginger smirks as if he didn't just say some famous last words.

“You're serious?” You blink. “Do you even think you could handle it?” Sebek scoffs, “I can take anything a measly human dishes out, it is nothing compared to fae!” Epel shuts his eyes in annoyance. “Oh you three don’t even know what you’re getting into, yet you’re already signing up for trouble.” Ortho beams. “Actually, this might help me collect some data to help you, Yuu!” “You four don’t even know what you're getting yourselves into…” Epel corrects himself.

“Okay okay.” You sigh. “Tomorrow, I will allow whatever they say, happen… to an extent at least…” You mutter, making Hades and the Queen of Hearts in your head boo you. Last thing you need is an Arson charge….

****

You laid down on your bed later that day as the sun began to set. “Okay guys… there are only a few ground rules. No murder, and no major property damage, small fires are okay, okay?” Before any of the seven and their familiars could respond or complain, you heard Grim.

“Who’re you talking to? Oh wait, you speaking to the guys in your head?” Grim asked, jumping on the bed and cuddling up to you. “First the mouse in the mirror and now you have some voices in your head, what other secrets are you keeping from me, hmm?” 'A lot actually', you think as you stroke Grim’s fluffy head. “You’ll see tomorrow.” You smile and your excitement made it difficult to sleep that night.

****

You got up, did your daily routine that Mama Grimhilde has laid out for you, before exiting the house with Grim in your arms for breakfast. Of course you haven’t forgotten the deal you made today at all. ‘Pssst, hey small sib~’ Flotsam chuckles darkly in your head, ‘Can I bite someone today?’ You chuckle, “Only if they deserve it.” Grim peeked up at you. “Oh yeah, you’re talking out loud today.” Grim smirks, “I wonder how Explodey-Head’s gonna react to that!”

Slinking into the cafeteria, you get into line per usual, getting a tray of whatever was free that you liked, you had to pinch your pennies this week. Sitting down, you notice that your usual squad was there, including Ace and Deuce, who usually took their time to arrive, and Ortho who usually had to deal with his brother. “Good morning.” You say settling down. “Morning, Yuu!” Ortho beams, “I got here early so I can start the data collection! I'll try to record as much as possible!” 

‘Oh how precious.’ Ursula purrs in your head, and the seven’s consensus on Ortho, even if they didn’t appreciate anklebiters, is that he wasn’t half bad. “So, today you're going to embrace your issues, I SAY BRING IT ON!” Sebek yells, making everyone wince, and Epel shoots a tired glare. ‘Tell that boy to silence! I am trying to nap!’ Scar huffs.

You nervously sigh, “Well first off all, they said to shut up please, it's not even 7 in the morning.” Sebek looks offended for a moment, but a very familiar voice interrupts, sending shivers down your spine. “Oh Koebi-Chan~” A wry voice purrs, making Grim hop off of you to hide. Everyone in your head went ‘oh no this guy again.’

You honestly didn’t mind Floyd, hell, you dare to consider him a friend, but you really were not in the mood for his antics today. “Hey Floyd,” You sigh, “look dude, I’m not in the mood today, can you please leave me alone?” You ask, and your words just make Floyd beam. The seven seem annoyed, but then you feel their excitement; your first victim. 'Humiliate the boy…' Jafar whispers to you.

Floyd drapes himself over you as you eat, occasionally leaning over to try and steal a bite from whatever was on your fork. “Ehh? Little shrimpy’s feeling bold today!~ How fun! Whatcha gonna do about me?~” His arms wrap around you to squeeze around your rib cage, “Especially when I squeeze…” 

“Dude, leave them alone.” Deuce says before freezing at the glare he was shot. "…Please?” He adds. “Look Floyd,” Jack sighs, “we’re trying to get Yuu some help today with an illness, Ortho is trying to get data on them, you aren’t helping.” Jack interrupts, trying to keep your condition vague for your privacy. Seems like Jack forgot that Floyd ignores reason when he finds it funny.

“Ooo~, is the little shrimpy sick?” Floyd says backing off of you slightly and poking you in the ribs. “You know Azul may have a remedy for it, you should come on down.~” “He does not, and for the final time there is nothing he can offer me that would make me want to make a deal with him. Please go away.” You warn one last time and Floyd leans in, pushing his luck in hopes to see you squirm. Ortho glares and prepares to get up and send him away but you hold out your hand to tell him to stop.

“Whatcha gonna do lil shrimpy?~” Floyd smirks. ‘Is it time?’ Hades asks, ‘Please tell me its time.’ You smile and mentally reply, ‘it’s time.’ You keep your calm smile as you look at Floyd. “Probably something my father taught me.” “And what's that?” Floyd says, grabbing the back of your neck. 

“This.” Suddenly you erupted in the brightest blue flames the world has ever seen making half of the cafeteria turn to stare. Your friends at the table all jump back and Ortho flashes red as he scans you. As quickly as the flames came to be, they disappeared. Floyd pulled his hands away, waving it off to cool it down. He wasn’t burned, at least nothing major, but the sleeve of his uniform was singed and he stared at it in rapt fascination.

You expected him to get annoyed, or to maybe start a fight, or something, but Floyd was in a good mood, and he laughed. “I didn’t know little shrimpy could do that! I thought you could only summon an ember, eheheh!~ Seems little shrimpy has more secrets than we thoooought~” Floyd muses, and suddenly another familiar face comes in, one that looks exactly like Floyd.

“Floyd, I believe the prefect doesn’t want to play anymore. Come on now, we should go.” “Aww but I wanna keep playing!” “I know brother dearest, but it seems that the cruel and unwavering Prefect doesn't want to,” Jade faked a frown and sighed, “How awful, if only they could have an ounce of compassion for my poor, poor brother… However, ” Jade opened his eyes back up and smirked, staring directly at you with a twinkle in his eye. “I think it’s best to leave them alone for today, especially since whatever ailment they have seems to make them erupt in flames at any given moment…” 

The eel’s voice drips with faux concern and Floyd snickers, Azul is gonna have some wonderful intel to ponder over later. You decide to say exactly what all of your fathers thinking. “Go eat shit and die for all I care.” And Jade’s eyes widen ever so slightly before the gleam with amusement, having never seen this side of you. “Of course prefect! If this ah… ailment continues to cause you trouble, please do let us know. We at Octavinelle love to help the poor and unfortunate.”

You watched the two slink off before turning back to your meal as all of your first year friends gawked at you. “What the hell was that! You never said you could do that!” Ace sputtered. “Yeah! You nearly cooked me!” Grim whines, making the audience in your head relish in their surprise. Ursula and The Queen of Hearts seem particularly amused. 

“Magic like that requires a lot of skill.” Sebek ponders, “To cast a flame cloak and not burn yourself requires a lot of concentration, furthermore it requires a high amount of magic potential on par with fae. Didn’t you say you have none, Yuu? HAVE YOU BEEN LYING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE? OR PERHAPS YOU WANTED TO HIDE IT TO SKIRT OUT ON EXAMS!” “Volume!” Deuce whines, and Grimhilde mentally thanks him.

“Oh… whoops…” “WHOOPS??” A few of the first years yell and Epel shoots you an ugly-baffled expression. “Whoops?? Whoops?? Is that all you have to say about that? You performed some of the most advanced defensive magic without a second thought and you just say whoops??” Epel’s accent threatens to slip out.

“Hey, Ortho, what's their magic reading, you look concerned.” Deuce asks as Ortho looks at the screens he’s projecting with a calculating expression. “I think there is an error in my system, I have scanned them 5 times and it says they have no traces of magic at all, but there is also no trace of any dampening magic used to hide or change that reading. Furthermore, the technique they used is no longer in use, records show it dates back more than the era of gods! That version of the spell they casted cannot be duplicated at all!” Ortho says in amazement before turning to you.

“Just… what are you?”

You blink as they all stare at you expectedly. “I'm a human.”

****

It was time for class, you said that you were gonna use the bathroom first, so the others should go without you for now, you’ll see them with Crewel. You didn’t think that anything eventful would come from it. You were wrong. This is NRC.

Coming out of the bathroom, a few Savanahclaw chuds cornered you. “Can I help you?” You asked exasperatedly to the NRC equivalents of Beavis and Butthead. “Tch, you know why we're here!” “…No, I don't.” You blink rubbing your eye, which just pissed off the duo even more.

“You made a fool out of our dorm during the spell drive competition!” “Oh god, is that what this about, dude that was nearly a year ago.” “Yeah and we came back to settle the score.” You just raised a brow and a small smile crept to your face.

‘Oh! Oh! Can I bite now? Please please please can I bite now! Come onnnn I’ve been such a good eel!’ Flotsam pleads and you hear the familiars speak. ‘Me want bite!!’ Ed whines. Raven caws, ‘Yeah me too!’ Iago agrees. ‘We wanna join too!’ The imps laugh. ‘I will… stay here…’ Diaval sighs.

You blink. “Sick em.” You say, making the two idiots make a face at you. Flotsam immediately lunges for the ass. “AIIIIEEE!” One yells and you hold back a snort as the others join, Iago and Raven both grabbing onto the members hair and pecking at them. Jetsam basically lassos around one, making him trip so the hyena trio can rough him up. The imps both transform into a blue and red cat respectively and continue to add to the looney tunes violence of it all.

The two run off and the familiars return to you, except for the eels that slither miserably in place on the smooth, frictionless floor. “Help us up.” Jetsam scoffs. “No I think I’ll stay like this a bit longer.” 'Angelfish…' Ursula warns. "... yes mom…"

…

..

.

On your way to class you run into Crowley who attempts to stop you and unload another issue for you to deal with. Instead you say what your familiars wanted to say. “You are gay.” You say, making the man just stare at you as you walk off. “And Crewel also has weirdly complicated feelings for you.” 

“FEELINGS YOU SAY?? WHICH ONES?? WHICH SORT OF FEELINGS YUU?? YUU!!!” You speed walk off regretting that decision, but you admit it will be funny to see those two get divorced. Crewel deserves better.

****

Animal Linguistics was always a bit of an annoying class, and this time, Trein has invited a few of the more advanced students to the class to help you freshmen. Ace let out a deep sigh when he saw Ruggie, knowing this guy will only do the bare minimum for his grade and charge any lesson extra.

“So when the cat goes ‘mrrrp?’ You're good, usually you should try to respond with a ‘mah Ah’” Ruggie explains to your group. “Do we always have to talk to cats and mice? I feel like we should also practice some other creatures too…” You sigh. 

Trein overhears you and responds. “Your birds don’t count, Yuu. They are able to speak.” You sigh. “Okay…” You sigh and Ruggie gives you that stupid shit-eating grin. “Aw, you not satisfied with my lesson?” “No.” You glare, which surprises Ruggie, unused to your assertiveness. “I can speak to animals already and I’ve been teaching these boneheads, we're fine here.” 

“Yeah but you say things that don't make sense…” Grim complains. “It doesn’t make sense because you guys are not used to the accents animals have. You know what, hold on, I‘ll get some real good ones to practice on.” “Huh what are you—?” Ruggie gawks when he sees three whole hyenas appear out of nowhere along with two eels around your waist. 

“They are not allowed to speak in their human voices. Knock 'em out, guys.” “Yuu! Where did you even…” Trein sighs. “Fine, fine, they can stay as long as they are well behaved…” The hyenas cackle and the eels snicker. Deuce nervously looks into the crossed eyes of Ed who winks in response.

Ace seals his lips to hold back a laugh until Banzai leans where he stares nervously. “Seduce me bro.” “AYO???”

****

Soon history class came, and once again a special guest was brought in, Lilia. The lesson went fine. Your sass wasn't needed. You kept quiet as you took a few notes here and there, and the end bell soon rang out. You stared at a particular note you took. 

‘The Thorn Fairy’s wings were leathery and bat-like, much like a dragon.’ 

You looked down at the note, and Maleficent herself seems to hum. ‘Seems like he is still following orders years later.’ She says and doesn’t elaborate. As students begin to pack up and leave, you wave down Lilia, who puts a hand on his hip and waits for you.

“Oho? What is it, prefect?” Lilia beams as you look at the note you took in your open notebook. “I have a question about what you said about the Thorn Fairy.” Lilia nods, “Well yes, what is it? It always warms my heart to see youngsters value history.”

You look at the note again. “You said that her wings were leathery and bat-like.” Lilia nods his head. “But aren't they feathered?” Lilia’s smile drops. “In fact she lost her wings too but got them back at some point, right? Did they become leathery during those years they were gone? Is that what you mean?”

Lilia looks at you, a bit of shock in his eyes, before he quietly speaks to you. “How do you know that?” “Know what?” “The Thorn Fairy only disclosed that information to two people, her raven, Diaval, and me…” You freeze for a moment and then Diaval appears on your shoulder to caw at him. 

Lilia stares at you, then at the raven, then back to you. “Diaval, is that you…? Why are you with… wait does that mean—" Lilia was cut off. “Yo, Yuu!” Deuce calls out from the doorway. “You coming?” You clear your throat and nod. “Yeah, I’m coming!” You look over at Lilia, “Thank you for your time.” He could only stare as you walked off and Diaval cawed an apology 

***

Towards the end of the day, you and your first year friends were all going to hang out at Heartslabyul to study together, which you know was code for ‘get distracted halfway and hang out’. You walked down the main path to the mirror chamber when you felt a familiar presence nearby. You were being watched.

“Come out Rook, I know you're there.” You look over at one of the apple trees, and narrow your eyes when you see Rook pop out from behind it all theatric. “Très bien, Trickster! You found me, that is a feat not many can achieve!” The weirdo beams. You nodded. “Yeah, you don't need to stalk me by the way. I am happy to get to know you through talking…”

“Non non, Trickster, you say that however I believe you don’t truly speak your mind!” The French man smiles. “I notice that you are not true to yourself! Always holding back your strength and what you mean to say, when I caught wind you were going to be yourself for a day, I could not help but try to study you!” Okay wow, he has you read.

“You can learn so much more about a person through their actions, but alas, you are so good at concealing those too, mon dieu, you are quite the mystery that I hope to uncover, and the most challenging one to date!” Rook says in awe. “I enjoy a good hunt, and this one has been most enthralling!” “I’ve always been able to sense when you're there, its why I tend to slink off not long after.”

“Merde! Is that so?” Rook smirks, and you sweat, you fucked up. “Aha, I knew you knew of me! Oh how fun! I have never had such good prey before!” You narrow your eyes slightly as he continues. “Would you dare to tell me how you are able to detect me so easily? Ah– but of course, if you don't that makes things much more magnifique!” 

“Um… I honestly actually don't know how I do, I just do?” Rook seems pleased, “How effortless! Tres bien! Beauté! I must hone my skills as a hunter more! Until next time, Yuu!” Rook begins to walk off before pausing and his smile drops for a moment.

“And even if it is not me, I do hope you can truly open up to somebody someday. Anyone would be lucky to have that level of trust with a Trickster such as yourself! Holding everything in does you no good! Au revior, little trickster, or perhaps I should call you le Chevalier Mystère?” Rook has that small sparkle in his eye.

“Switch it up now and then, keep it interesting.” You nod at Rook “À bientôt!” He says, and he seems to be muttering some weird French poem about strangers and beauty as you leave.

****

You were stopped yet again on your way to Heartslabyul as you passed the mystery shop. The door was open and you see Trey ponder how he’s going to carry the groceries he brought back to the dorm. “Hey Trey,” you walks in and wave, “you look conflicted, something up?”

“Ah prefect, I am actually,” Trey wears that smiley-wincing expression that Trey has when he’s in deep shit. “I'm sorry to bother you, but could you help me carry some of these bags back to my dorm? It may take a few trips but I promise a treat in return.” “You don’t need to Trey, I’ll help you even without one, you’ve been kind to me.”

Trey’s brows raise slightly and he adjusts his glasses, looking away awkwardly. “Ah, well, thank you, Prefect.” Trey rolls up his sleeves, revealing his forearms as he prepares to grab a bag. "Those bags of flour and sugar are quite heavy, so be careful— wuh?” Trey stared dumbstruck as you lifted 500 pounds worth of dry ingredient bags in one arm. “I- how are you— Is that not heavy?” 

“It is, but I’m used to it.” “At least let me help—“ “No, no  fine, lets go.” “O… kay…” Trey adjusts his glasses and you both walk off to Heartslabyul, making a lot of people turn their heads as you pass by. 

Entering the dorm, you notice Deuce and Grim gawk at you. “Give me a minute, I’m helping Trey!” You shout as you walk everything to the kitchen and set it down on the counter. “There.” Trey stares at the pile you put down, mentally going through all the times before you acted so weak. “Ahem, thank you prefect, Ace told me you would be over in the rose garden to ‘study’ right?” “They never study.” Trey gives that 'Trey sad smile' from earlier. “You got that right.”

****

Exiting the kitchen, you look into one of the mirrors hanging on the walls of the dorm, adjusting your appearance when yet another annoying voice interrupts you. “O-M-G! It's Yuu-Chan!” Cater shouts with his typical manufactured smile. “Heyyyy!” He waves and you feel your brain melting in your skull. “Hey Cater, what's up?”

“I have a questionnn!~” He smiles, pulling up something on his phone. “Are these you?” You sweat and look over to the images he pulled up. There was one of you in flames in the cafeteria, and another of you in the hallway wheezing at the pack of familiars all jumping the two chuds. “Yeah… yeah you caught me…”

“They’re trending locally right now and you know I just have to get in on that! Mind if we take a pic?” “Go ahead.” You sigh and Cater immediately snaps a selfie of him and your exhausted self. “Me and the bestie! #NRCProblemChild #NRCConspiracy #IsekaiProtag #ExtraTerrestrialPrefectConspiracy! Aaannnd post! Thank you, Yuu-Chan, I’m curious though what was that about?”

“Those two assholes were trying to beat me up and don’t worry about the other one.” “Don't worry?” Cater scoffs as you adjust yourself in the mirror again. “Helllooo the magicless prefect, turned slightly magical, turned to god-like mage suddenly does that within a year! That's gotta be something!” Cater beams and then looks over at you and sweats.

You were glaring at him, but the mirror in front of you had several eyes also glaring at him. “… Who’s that?” “Who’s what?” “That!” Cater points to the mirror and when you turn to look it disappears. “That's me, Cater, I know I look a bit different since first arriving, but I don't think I look half bad.” You gave an insincere smile.

“My friends are waiting for me Cate, seeya..."

****

You left the hangout early, not liking all the questions probing into your mind or your past at all, in fact you left pretty upset with some insinuations and accusations of your insincerity. “Are we even friends, Yuu?” Deuce frowned. “Have you been lying to us?” Jack glares. You sigh, and walk randomly, no destination in mind. 

“Why aren't you opening up to us?” Ace huffs. “I mean you trust us right?” Ace’s frown turned to offense when he saw you look away. “Dude come on! When have we given you a reason to not trust us?” You snap at him. “Our very first meeting was you insulting me and since then you have been roping me into trouble!” 

Ace looked guilty there. “Yuu…” Epel frowned and Ortho shot a glare at Ace. “Human, Ace may have had a rough meeting but what about us?” “What about you? What about you?” You dragged your hands across your face. 

“There's a lot about you guys actually! From Mr. Don’t-Be-Friendly-Cause-We’ll-Never-be-Friends over here to Mr.Internalized-Racism-Against-My-Kind here! And let’s not forget I-Cause-Half-Of-Your-Problems-And-Sometimes-Leave-You-WIthout-Food-For-A-Few-Days Grim! Yeah I have no clue! It's almost like I tried opening up to you all before but I was brushed off. It's almost like I have been telling you that I have been having these prophetic dreams since arriving and have been telling you about a man living in my mirror and calling out to me constantly! And everytime— every fucking time its nothing or no big deal!”

You wipe away tears. “I have been trying to talk, but nobody's listening. It’s like I’m made to understand and not be understood! I have been having to put everyone else before myself and solve everyone’s else’s problems without a thank you or someone to lean on since day one! I mean, all these blots have given me fucking scars. Physical fucking scars! All while I was being berated for being a weak little human too! And what? I still am expected to bend over backwards for the people that tried to kill me? Everything’s swept under the rug for everyone else but me, huh? No one ever checks on me, hell, I am not even acknowledged half the time when I’m in the same room as someone, so yeah I also wonder why I don't talk.”

You push yourself up and grab your things. “Wait!” “No, no! Leave me alone, for once will you leave me alone willingly!” “Yuu come on! We’ll listen.” You pause. “Yuu isn’t even my name.” You glare. “It isn't…?” Grim asks. “I have been called ‘You’ this entire time here because no one bothered asking my name and everyone assumed it was ‘Yuu’. I don't even get to introduce myself anyways when I do get asked. I am not my own person, and you never made me feel like my own person.”

You walked off. Looking back now you regret it. You’re embarrassed, you sounded so stupid. You wipe away a few tears and feel a presence appear, Cerberus. The three heads nudge and cuddle you as you sob and you can feel the sevens hands all trying to soothe you. ‘There, there’ one says. Let it out.’ Another responds. ‘Poor thing.’ 

“Come on, boy, it's been a while since you’ve been on a walk…” You mutter, and think back to what Rook said to you earlier. Opening up to someone was a Herculean task on its own, but someone understanding you was impossible. Even telling people the truth can get you or them in trouble…

You lead the way down to the Ignihyde dorm. No one in that dorm leaves their room anyways, it's safe for your good boy to walk around there. 

***

There was in fact a certain dorm leader there, who was just as shocked to see you and a giant dog. Idia punched in the number to a snack at the vending machine, turned around and gawked at the giant dog behind him. He then looked over at you.

“Yuu? Is that-? I mean is he—? Ortho said you—… Is that the real…?” Idia sputtered, not sure what  to ask first. “Shut it weeb, no ones gonna believe you.” Idia gawked even more. Since when were you so sassy? No seriously, you were also so overly kind to everyone it unsettled him.

“…Sorry…” you mumble. “You can pet him… he’s… soft…” Idia blinks and offers out a hand. One of the heads sniffs it before nuzzling into him. “Holy shit…” Idia whispers as he immediately starts fawning over the dog.

“Who’s some good boys, who’s some boys? Oh that's a great pupper! Oh yes you all are!” It’s strange to see Idia all smiley to himself, but it’s pleasant. “How did you—“ “I can't answer that.” You respond. “So dont ask…”

Idia goes quiet leaning back from the heads that licked him, his flaming locks dancing behind him. “Ortho said you haven’t been feeling well…” “I haven’t been, not for a while, I guess it finally all came out to the point where it’s noticeable…” “Ah, I feel that…” Idia trails off awkwardly.

“I know we're not friends, but I appreciate you.” Idia mumbles. “You make Ortho very happy, and I love seeing my little brother happy… He says you're like another sibling and insists we would get along. He really wants me to get to know you… and uh.. We don't have to, but… yeah… Thank you, I guess…’ Idia looks like he’s about to die, but he speaks again.

“Ortho says you make him feel human, and that you’ve been helping him learn more about how to find out who he is more than anyone else, more than me, even, probably cause you got out more… He told me you were upset, and he’s worried about you. So uh… please reach out to him?”

“Thank you, Idia…” You sigh. “Yeah I will, I will reach out to him, its not his fault, I just… I just need time to think… I don't even know who I am, or what comforts me…” “Um, I don't know what you like… but uh… actually, give me your number. I know a pretty cool site with a lot of free shows, I think there’s a few you’ll like.” He offers an attempt at a smile. “And also maybe you try a few video games? If you haven’t tried them already… who knows maybe we can play together…” You smile and open up your contacts. “Yeah, I would like that actually…” 

A new contact was added: ‘Gremlin.’

****

Walking off to your dorm, you dare not go in. You don't know if your friends are all waiting for you inside, or if Grims there. You sorta don't want to deal with that right now still. The corners of your eyes catch a familiar sight. Fireflies dance through the night, coming out of the grass and surrounding you.

“Hey, Tsunotaro… Heh, maybe I ought to call you ‘Firefly’ or king of the fireflies, maybe.” You wipe your eyes as you turn around and there he is, your Tsunotaro. You both don't know each other's names, but you don't need to. Tsunotaro and Child of Man work just fine.

“Greetings, Child of Man, it’s always good to see you but…” The fae frowns, “are you alright, Child of Man? You seem troubled…” “I… Yeah I am… I just… don’t know what to do…”

Your friend carefully reaches out to you before retracting his hand. “Do you want to talk about it?” “I think I need a distraction…” “I can do that,” Tsunotaro offers his hand. “Come with me.

You have never seen so many pretty colors before as Malleus casts a few spells, making the forest into the most beautiful light show you’ve ever seen. Mushrooms glow from where they sprout, leaves swirl with beautiful patterns, and the fireflies dance through the sky against the stars. You swear you can hear music from them.

“This is… This is beautiful…” “I am glad you enjoy it,” Malleus watches as you watch each step you take, the leaves below you glowing with each step. “Are you feeling better now?” “Yeah, I am… You know…” you pause nervously.

“Yes? What is it?” “It feels like… you're my only true friend…” The lightshow around you flickers for a moment. “Is that so…” Malleus stares wide eyed. “Yeah… Just… I can be kind to everyone… but I can't be friends with anyone. They all don't really get to know the real me, you know?” Malleus stares off.

“I do know that feeling well… You are my only friend…” You pause and look at him. The lights behind you turn to a more pinkish hue. “That's hard to believe, you are a wonderful person.” “Likewise, Child of Man. I would think someone as kind as you would have much more.”

You sniff, “I’ve been helping so many people, but it feels like…” You sigh. “I have seen the hard work you have put into everything. Not a lot of people can say they have gone through what you have gone through and won. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Malleus takes your hand. “I am sorry that others do not acknowledge that. I hope those around you soon start to realize what a blessing you are.” You squeeze his hand. “Come on, why don’t we both enjoy this light show?” 

…

..

.

At the very last waltz, your legs feel like jelly, and you cannot tell if it's because of how happy you are or because you've been standing too long. You pull away gently. “Thank you Tsunotaro, for everything.” Malleus nods. “It was nothing. Thank you for being my friend.” He stares off to the sky for a moment. “Farewell, Child of Man, may the night be full of promise for you.” 

The fae starts to fade away and you reach out, using a spell of your own. “Wait…” You hold onto Malleus’ arm making him appear again. The fae looks at you with shock. “You overrode my magic…” Malleus whispers, and his shocked face turns to one of awe and his eyes hint towards excitement. “No one has ever been able to do that… Just what else are you hiding, Child of Man?” 

“I want to give you my name.” “Your name?” Malleus looks shocked once again. “My real name.” “Don't you know of the stories about giving your name to Fae?” “I know them, but I trust you. I know you would never hurt me.” Your expression and voice is so sure it nearly overwhelms the fae.

“You trust me that much? I could smite you with lightning in an instant.” “Then smite me.” Malleus paused and nothing happened. “See? I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You’ve had opportunities this entire time and you haven’t.” “You really want to tell me Child of Man? When I have not even given you my name?” Malleus' voice nearly shakes.

“You don't need to. But if you do, no matter what name comes out, I won't be afraid.” You take his hand, and for the first time since arriving, you introduce yourself, and you tell him your name, your real name.

“I see, what a wonderful name… I supposed I shall finally tell you mine as well.” The fae smiles, “Draconia. Malleus Draconia…” “Malleus? That's not too bad for yourself…” Malleus lets out a laugh at that. “I suppose not.” He smiles then looks off again. “Well then, friend… Thank you for everything tonight. I have not been this happy in a long time…” 

“Good night, Malleus. I hope to see you again soon.”

“Good night, Child of Man…” 

He fades out and you hear Maleficent speak to you. ‘He likes you.’ She says, and you hear a few voices teasing you. You chuckle and find the strength in you to go back into your dorm and confront tomorrow. Rook’s words from earlier echoes through your mind. You have found people you can truly open up to.

[tench]

Veilguard is such a weird game.

It's not a Dragon age game, it's bately a role playing game. It's an ok action. Even though it is the most stable AAA release it is still just a bunch of barely tied together stuff in a trench coat.

The writing (insultingly dumbed down and absolutely incapable of taking itself seriously untill the last 1/6 of the game) is all over the place, the direction is nonexistent judging by the tonal shift from one quest to another. We can have very heart felt monologue about the fear of death sit right next to a conversation where a lot of things are told using one specific phrase (I really hope in a clumsy attempt at emphasis) repeated till these words lose any meaning to you.

There's also a problem of role-playing in this "rpg" and the Rook. None of your dialogue choices matter in terms of defining your character, no matter the option you choose, the general conversation will carry the upbeat silly tone. "Your backstory and class matter more than your race" works untill it doesn't, like when you are a dwarf but you are denied your own journey and realizations tied to the titans, and maybe it is not your journey to take yet you can't even try to be a part of it, even when Harding is actively reaching out to other dwarves to share this connection. It's also weirdly more interested in writing romance between npcs than for the main character (Lucanis comes to mind, it feels like the game is actively punishing you for pursuing him, you have to lose the whole shadow dragon faction, you won't get to hang out with Dorian and still you have bare minimum and he more interested in Neve anyway), that's extremely funny that this game is player-sexual yet completely player-aromantic. (And I miss the dai option where you can come up and kiss your LI whenever you feel like it).

I won't even touch on the weird and unnecessary sanitation of everything, like we can't allow people or factions to have negative traits whatsoever. And it's not "southern propaganda", it's "we are not engaging with complex topics for the sake of clear dichotomy between good us and evil overlords". Speaking of which

The whole plot.. The general idea of it is ok. You come to stop Solas, you make the situation go sideways, you have to work together to fix your mistakes and maybe learn to sympathize with the antagonist haunted by his own transgressions with the main theme being legacy and your relationship with your culture and the baggage it brings. But the journey is a complete disaster. Part of it works solely because the characters absolutely Refuse to make a plan and the other - because the main character has a blunt head trauma. Maybe it's related. Maybe it's all a mass hallucination. I may try to elaborate on how it's absolutely ridiculous how little the inquisition and the politics have any impact in this game yet somehow 8 people squatting in the Fade with no political affiliations are held responsible for providing for every faction they come across. I won't even try to make sense of it. It's the usual case of "the main character does everything".

The direction is not only absent in the writing. Some lines that are ok in text delivered in such a way you may think they were allowed only to use the very first take.

The music is absolutely forgettable. Also the odd riff during the dramatic reveal absolutely took me out because I thought I heard kazoo (but I bet Varric would love it).

The visuals are.. Ok. It's pretty on the first glance but the more you travel the more you realize that the general design of the locations are kinda lacking. They have this weird gradient that makes everything a little bit more unfocused and a bit washed out. There are also too many cases of the horisont just drowning in the fog. Air perspective is great and it suits locations like Necropolis, but I would argue that these establishing shots should be used for environmental storytelling in other places, with some focal points in the background, like during the final mission where you see the world absolutely drowning in the blight, devouring local statue of liberty. Or the dead Titan. Or the first shot of the Veil jumper forest (I forgot how it's called) where you see the ruins going into he sky. But because of the fog (or sometimes darkness) it feels like the game is more interested in cheating the optimisation than to hint on the bigger picture (like the chantry and the gallows buildings that you can see almost from all locations in DA2 or the andrastian/dread wolf imagery of inquisition)

So, in conclusion. Not the worst game I played, yet disappointing, even if we pretend it's not an installment of a beloved franchise that people were waiting for 10 years.

Ps. Also making such a game with nerfing all the lore only to nuke all the legacy locations is a choice I won't ever understand. It's like it is not for the fans and it's not for the new people but a secret third thing.

[milk-is-stable]

hi friend! sorry you're sick. for your rewatch may i request mystery of the midnight circus? i hope you feel better soon!

The Mystery of the Midnight Circus

Sick Day rewatch, requested by @i-couldve-mimed-it and @local-human-disaster I'm sick and have brain fog, so I'm rewatching longforms and giving my *super coherent* commentary.

Pre-watch thoughts: I love Sherlock Holmes, and Tom's senile sherlock is so funny and also weirdly sweet, so I'm really looking forward to the revisit!

Liveblogging:

Sam is the one who makes the Sherlock Holmes choice, a mystery doesn't have to be Holmsian inherently, but Sam went there immediately.

Interestingly, Tom went for the Old Man route even before Sam called him "Holmes," you can see him off stage beginning to mime using a cane. It's possible he was going for 'circus baton' and switched when Sam called him Holmes, but I like to think that he was going for old man right from the start. Which, judging by Sam's amused expression, was not what he was expecting.

"I look something like a pond today" is classic

Tom is really frighteningly good at playing a slightly out of touch old man. And tying in SO many good jokes while doing it. "We're all subjects under her majesty." "Good God, what's happened to the mirror???" "Eating the Bees!!"

"Enjoy the empire!" ".....let's not get into all that."

AJ: Uhhh, guys, this was about a CIRCUS, remember? Sam: You know what's more exciting than a circus?

Sam is a little too good at being a creepy clown, if I was scared of clowns this would be Not Good for me (though of course we can't get out of this without making fun of AJ a bit. "You can't see because it's dark")

This is a job for Mr. Sherlock.......Houses? HOLMES!

AJ: "Sherlock...." Tom, raising his eyebrows incredulously: "yes?"

"Can you guess who it is?" "I can guess but I wonder if you want to define it yourself first?"

"Are you really here? or are you just a figment of my-" *kiss* "Ah, you're a figment, good"

There was some drama here but lets dissolve into sex metaphors for a few minutes, this is a comedy show after all

AJ: floating around the stage like a spectre. Tom: look, can you just stand still for a minute

READ ALL ABOUT IT! READ ALL ABOUT IT! ah there's no one fucking here.

Justice for Old Johnny Rocksbury, he never got to make his mark on the town!

It's Raptor Boy and the Amazing Normal Man!

"You're the understudy? well maybe you should be SIX FEET UNDER! " ".......I don't get it :D" (see this is what Tom meant by being cute by being willing to play stupid)

*Long dramatic unison death call* Sam: get off the stage, fuckers

The thing about Watson trying to solve the case, talking about the facts of the deaths is that in that Moment, Sam hadn't thought of the twist yet. But the twist of Watson as the clown retroactively makes this scene really tragic, because it shows how broken Watson's mind really is by this time.

Senile Holmes continues to be the Best. "I've never been more sane in my life- did you ask me how I was doing? eh, that's close enough." "Are you doing cocaine again?"

Welcome to the moral of the story everyone, I hope you're happy with it because it's all we're getting .

Sam: I'm sorry, it feels like I abandoned you back there. Tom: I know....and now I'm going to pull off the biggest plot twist this side of the british empire.

Sam: SAY LESS *pulls off one of the most emotional and dramatic performances in his career* Tom: You left your facepaint on you moron. (keep it funny boys, keep it funny)

Seriously, what a good death scene, it's so good...Shirley Holmes! (fun fact I played a character called Shirley Holmes on stage once...)

And scene! This one is so much fun, you can see how much fun they're having on stage with all the different pieces, and while there aren't as many 'one liner' style jokes, there are so many funny character beats and interactions that are so much fun to revisit. And I'm serious about Sam's Watson, I think it's in his top three most emotional/impactful performances (the other two being Benjamin from Strange Noises and Sam from Beetroots and Murder)

[ominous-faechild]

FAERIE'S DAWN (f3-1)

CHAPTER 3: “NATURAL” OBSTACLES (part 1)

CHARACTERS:

⚜ Scamall O'Moyner (pov) ⚜ Spéir O'Moyner

SETTING:

[a wild, overgrown forest plane] [outside the dominion of Kilrey] [in the middle of the forest] [night; magic storm-blizzard]

approx. 1 BA (talamhdé timeline)

story intro table of contents chapter one < last part next part >

Scamall: [quickly pulls her hand from Spéir's after they travel a distance away from Nova, turning away from him and crossing her arms… but moreso doing the latter for comfort]

Spéir: [hesitantly looks back to her, fae-ears low and his face twisted in pain]

Spéir: (voice thick) "Scamall…"

Scamall: [sucks in a sharp, shaky breath as her hair storms and she struggles not to cry... or snap]

Spéir: [half-sighs, half-growls, putting his head in his hand]

Spéir: (grumbles) "this is your fault, for trusting—"

Scamall: [eye twitches—]

Scamall: [swiftly flips on her heel, turning to pierce Spéir with a glare]

Scamall: (snaps) "no, you know what this was!? YOUR fault, for being so AGGRESSIVE! They only reached for that ambrosia because you scared them!"

Spéir: [flexes his jaw, face twitching, as he stews on his own response—]

Essence: [flares behind them as Nova and Kilrey fight… and Nova is clearly on the losing side, her essence dying away quickly]

Scamall: [twists in place to violently jab a finger in their direction]

Scamall: (voice hard and raised) "they were brave enough to sacrifice thems—"

Spéir: [snarling, throws his hands up and interrupts) "they took responsibility for their own mistake!"

Scamall: (voice sharp and shrill) "what!?"

Scamall: [steps forward, snarling and with gales of wind speeding around them—]

Spéir: [funny! Does the exact same thing!]

Spéir: [crossing his arms, continues stubbornly) "Imagine what you'd ha—"

Both: [freeze]

Both: [shocked, look over their shoulders in Nova's direction again]

Both: [… can feel all too well that Nova shattered Kilrey's will.]

Both: [jaws drop almost in sync—]

Scamall: [turns to face the direction Nova's in again, mindlessly taking a few steps—]

Spéir: [grabs her hand, stopping her]

Spéir: (incredulously) "Scamall!?"

Scamall: [snarling again, flips on her heel to pierce him with a murderous glare]

Scamall: (harshly) "that fae not only tried to sacrifice themself for us, but they overpowered a Goddamned archfaerie WITH A FRACTION OF HIS ESSENCE!"

Scamall: [yanks her hand from his, snarling still, before finishing) "if you're REALLY so uptight that you don't want ANYTHING to do with them, then MAYBE I don't want anything to do with YOU!"

Spéir: [mouth falls open, eyes wide and turning shiny… but stunned silent]

Scamall: [huffs, brushing him off and flipping on her heel to hurry after Nova… who was probably giving Kilrey instructions, judging by how he was still there]

Scamall: [… though she had no idea what Nova could be ordering him to do.]

Scamall: [but pushes that thought from her mind, chewing her lip and scanning the woods around them]

Blizzard: [slowly dying out]

[“The Quaking” is what the residents of Talamhdé called the random bouts of frenzied electricity in the air, earthquakes, and sudden natural disasters that'd randomly strike the planes. Although few had reason to even suspect it, Scamall and Spéir were among the few to know it only happened when God was enraged]

[Thankfully, the Quaking was quickly dying down, leaving the ever-shifting Faewilde forest ominously silent and still.]

Scamall: (to herself, incredulously) … there's no way that's related to them, right…? The storm's just passed… and… the Quaking never really lasts that long…

Kilrey: [far in the distance, starts heading back off to his town]

Scamall: [distracted from her previous thought; can't help a weak smile or keep the proud tears from swelling in her eyes]

Scamall: fae, I may not know who you are… but I'm proud of you. And I'm going to help you.

Spéir: [finally chases after her, though he's dead silent as he trails behind her, shoulders slumped and his hands awkwardly in his pockets]

Scamall: [ignores him, reconsidering everything she knew about him… even though she'd known him for almost the entire time she'd been alive]

Scamall: (finishing her thought) … no matter what he thinks.

Nova: [collapses and passes out… but all the siblings can really tell is that he isn't moving]

Spéir: [silent for a while as they walk, but finally, awkwardly speaks up, his voice soft) "I just… want to make sure you're safe, Scamall…"

Scamall: [bites her tongue to keep from snapping at him, just continuing through the forest]

[The forest is made up of wobbly, ever-moving trees; hanging branches and swathes of moss; and an endless amount of gnarled roots that all shifted to try to get in their way and block their passage]

[As a land suffused with raw magic, Talamhdé was constantly shifting and changing. It almost seemed to be conscious, and purposely maneuvered itself to make travelling through it annoying… if not outright dangerous.]

Siblings: [had been travelling through various planes of Talamhdé for years, learning to navigate its ever-changing ways and live off of its power, but…]

[The forest is being especially difficult right now.]

Spéir: [uncharacteristically quiet and unhelpful behind Scamall as—]

[the trees creeeaaaaaaakkkkk noisily as they, their branches, and the roots all shift, blocking the siblings' passage toward Nova]

Scamall: [growls under her breath, face twisted into a snarl]

Spéir: [still just watching her silently from behind]

Scamall: [may not be looking with her eyes, but can see well enough with the air and her aura—]

Spéir: [frowning slightly. Has one arm crossed, its hand cupped under the other's elbow, and his other hand curled around his cheek as he watches her]

Scamall: [fae-ears low and hair storming in anger, bites her tongue to keep from snapping—]

Scamall: (wants to scream) YOU'RE BEING THIS STUBBORN ABOUT THEM!? YOU WON'T EVEN FREAKING HELP ME!?

Scamall: [—at the same time, dissolved into air to try to push herself through the gaps between the branches, but—]

Scamall: [slams into an invisible wall formed by the very same Faewilde magic that moved the trees to begin with]

Scamall: [gasps in pain and from surprise, reforming in the air as she flies back from the barrier—]

Spéir: [carefully catches her from behind, one hand around her shoulder and the other at the small of her back]

Scamall: [stunned from the impacts—]

Spéir: [peers down at her, his face unreadable, before quickly looking back up at the barrier and helping Scamall stand]

Scamall: [clenches her jaw, ears low and tears forming in her eyes from anger, but—]

Spéir: (voice light, impassive) "it stops at the treetops. We can fly above it."

Scamall:

Scamall: [hesitates, shocked. Hadn't actually thought he was paying enough attention to try to help… much less actually be willing to.]

Spéir: [as she takes too long to respond, looks at her over his shoulder with his fae-ears twitching up curiously. An eyebrow quirked, offers his hand and asks, deadpan) "ready?"

Scamall: [swallows, looking away as her ears droop in shame]

Scamall: [just lets out a slow, heavy sigh as she takes his hand]

Scamall: (tiredly) "yeah."

Spéir: [nods, looking toward the sky as he swells his essence around them—]

Scamall: [relaxes her magic around her body, lightening it and preparing—]

Siblings: [with a joint gust of wind, push themselves into the air, soaring above the treetops. Except… quickly slow down before they can hit the skybox, coming to a stop in midair]

Spéir: [not looking at Scamall, easily peers through the darkness and at the array of trees between them and Nova]

Spéir: [taking charge as always; evenly speaks above the wind) "we can probably fly past any barriers while we're up here. If anything comes after us, I'll take care of it, okay?"

Spéir: [with that, turns to meet her eyes, face focused]

Spéir: [always made the plans between them, working through the various puzzles laid out by the Faewildes… and archfaeries trying to block their paths.]

Scamall: [can't help the tears in her eyes or her small, weak smile]

Scamall: [cupping Spéir's hand in-between hers, gratefully) "thank you, Spéir."

Spéir:

Spéir: [face twists slightly—a flash of guilt showing—but quickly just nods curtly as he looks away]

Spéir: (voice subtly thick) "let's just go, yeah?"

Scamall: (softly, knowing he could hear her just fine through the wind) "yeah."

Hmmm... what's up with how Spéir's acting?

story intro table of contents chapter one < last part next part >

divider from @mypixeldiary

[chaotcrphelp]

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Movie) Sentence Starters

Feel free to change pronouns and adapt as you may need.

Like if you met me, you wouldn't think I was the weird kid who spent time in the hospital.

I haven't really talked to anyone outside of my family all summer.

Would you guys get a room?

My name is [Name]. You call me [Name] or you call me nothing.

You feel a little silly being nervous now, huh?

Just give them a smile and be yourself. That's how you make friends in the real world.

I think you could be a little nicer to [Name].

You want to sit over here, or are you waiting for your friends?

Question. Could the bathrooms here be more disgusting?

Do you have a favorite band?

So, watch out. He/She/They'll ruin your life forever.

What are you going to do when you get out of here?

You guys look happy together. How long have you been boyfriend and girlfriend?

Look at you all, dressed so nice.

Will you trust me?

Please, don't tell mom and dad.

Oh, my God. They're playing good music.

Are you sure it's okay that I come?

This is what fun looks like.

The dance was a little boring, don't you think?

I think you're doing something wrong.

Or something very right.

I just really want a milkshake.

I didn't see anything.

I know you saw something, but it's okay.

You see things. And you understand. You're a wallflower.

Well, we didn't think there were any cool people left to meet. So, everyone…

Welcome to the island of misfit toys.

Wait! Let's go through the tunnel!

I feel infinite.

I'd hate for him/her/them to judge me based on what I used to be like.

So, I've been making him/her/them a mix tape so he/she/they will know how I feel.

I'll help you study for the next one.

Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Can we make them know they deserve more?

You want to work on probabilities and statistics?

Ladies and gentlemen, I am below average!

I'm sorry we won't be seeing him tonight.

He/She/They knows me. He/She/They really knows me.

You don't have to say anything.

I'm in such a great mood, I don't think even he/she/they could ruin it.

He/she/they was my favorite person in the world… until now.

Is it bad tonight?

Did you have fun on your break?

Are you having a good time?

I don't know. This is my first date, so I don't know what to compare it to.

I'll try not to make you too jealous.

Your heart is beating really fast.

I can't believe it. You of all people. I just can't believe you're my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.

I'm sorry I haven't written for awhile, but things are a total disaster.

I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room on the lips. Notice I charitably said girl and not person because let's face it… I'd smoke all you bitches.

I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry.

I just get so messed up inside like I'm - not there or something.

Something's wrong with me-

You going to do something?

This is pathetic, man. Your fixation on me.

Do you want your friends to know how you got those bruises?

If you touch my friends again, I'll blind you.

So, you're not scared of me?

Why can't you save anybody?

I was thinking maybe I could still give you books next year.

I think you could write one of them one day.

And how for the first time, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

Pretty soon, you'll have a whole new group of friends, and you won't even think about this place anymore.

Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing?

Then, why didn't you ever ask me out?

You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love.

I don't want to be somebody's crush. I want people to like the real me.

Just… how do you stop seeing it?

There is so much pain. And I don't know how to not notice it.

My doctor said we can't choose where we can come from, but we can choose where we go from there.

I know it's not all the answers, but it was enough to start putting these pieces together.

Can [Name] come out and play?

I just want you to know that I was in a bad place before I started high school. And you helped me.

It made me not feel alone.

I know these will all be stories someday.

This is happening. I am here. And I am looking at him/her/them. And he/she/they is so beautiful.

And in this moment, I swear we are infinite.

have fun ♡

[writing-frenzy]

Beautiful Disaster AU

So, here I am, on a serious Shang Qinghua/Airplane bro binge because sometimes you just crave a thing and can't let go, and I ended up getting inspired by these two posts :) Link and Link So here I go.

Edit: Forgor to set a link for part two, my bad.

Also, here is this poem that also inspired a thing and also gave the name for this AU~

`Beautiful Disaster~ By Nikita Gill If he tastes like the rainfall, Looks like a summer storm, Fights for you like a forest fire; he's a tornado of trouble. (And you need to hold on to him and never ever let him go.)

So yeah, I took a look at that, and thought it actually fit both Shen Jiu and SQH/Airplane well, if in different ways. (Shen Jiu the tornado and Airplane bro the forest fire, but oh, how SJ fights like lightening in a storm, ready to burn everything away, while SQH is tricky like the wind, saving most of his energy for when it really matters until you can't see anything past the wails and talismans.)

So yeah, watch me stumble into a scumplane with Ghost!Shen Jiu :3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It starts ever so simply, Shen Jiu watching as that fake is so happily accepted, all the other Peak Lords seeming to rejoice at having them there, even the disciples pleased and ever so willing to bark for the man wearing his face, the little beast practically panting after him every step he takes.

It disgusts him, makes him grind his teeth, makes him want to scream, shout, curse like he hasn't since he was just a desperate slave, how many visit his former home, his sanctuary now a cage of bamboo and frustration, rage, and bitterness. Watches how Peak Lord after Peak Lord visits, each charmed, some slowly, some in less than a second, guests of all types and titles leaving yet obviously wanting to stay.

All except for one.

"Ha-hahaaa, hello Peak Lord Shen, I'm here to deliver the order forms for the new training instruments and inkstones." The An Ding Peak Lord, Shang Qinghua laughs weakly, even as the fake narrows eyes at him over his favored fan. Shen Jiu glares, wishing he could rip it to shreds, throw it away, burn it so that it is no longer being defiled by this body snatcher.

"You may leave them with my disciples, Ming Fan or Binghe can take care of it." is the dismissive response of this other, lesser fake goods, even as Shen Jiu wants to scream.

"These are my duties; these are the responsibilities of a Peak Lord, you cannot hand them off to mere children, much less the beast." The real Shen QingQiu wants to howl, but it only comes out as whispered words through clenched teeth, the ghost not able to open his mouth for the anger choking him.

"Ah, about that my fellow Peak Lord, these contents are not for the eyes of disciples, I'll need your seal of approval on them as well." Shang Qinghua seems to wince, sounding rather apologetic, but it is this refusal that gains Shen Jiu's attention, actually surprised to hear someone being reasonable since the switch happened.

(The first time he's seen anyone actually refuse his cuckoo of a replacement.)

And is just in time to see the cold, cutting calculation the supposedly 'apologetic' man hides with his bowed head, before it is gone just as fast as he raises it.

It is the start of his interest in Shang Qinghua, that man he considered a rat in life, only to show just how clever he is after Shen Jiu died.

Watches how the man sneakily tests the fake, teas for cleansing snuck in here and there, talismans deceptively hidden in paintings, vases of flowers that detect malevolent, demonic energies.

And even with none of it being triped, the Fake able to somehow breeze past all these tests, Shang Qinghua still watches, guarded and suspicious, without ever letting his cuckoo even suspect it.

It is... gratifying, even if it is from that rat, to know someone still does not trust in what they see, that they too judge the fake and decide to actually question it. It is more than what his own disciples have done.

(It is more than what his Qi-ge has given, still ever so tolerant, ravished as he is for any crumbs, he can fucking get like the dogs they were.)

Changes only happen after what is apparently a disastrous conference, with intriguing, if terrifying secrets coming to light.

"Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky!"

"Peerless Cumber?!"

Hearing their words, it brings in new consideration for his circumstances, makes his already yin filled core seem to freeze at just what he is hearing.

Some kind of fate that forces you into another's dead body, chains one to follow it with little hope for change, even forcing a literary god from the sounds of it to be reborn into a human, never actually expecting their words to come to life, just trying to live as it were like any other storyteller from the streets.

(Remembers how any damage he does is just as quickly erased, as if it has never happened, as if there isn't a resentful ghost clawing at the walls, ready to destroy any in its way at the first chance it gets.)

Shang Qinghua, or Airplane as it were, visits more after that, plotting and planning with his bodysnatcher, who while he still hates, would be willing to gut if possible (but... can understand, so painfully understand being forced and chained, even if he was lucky enough his Masters were very much mortal at least).

But while there are no longer any suspicions in those eyes (the calculations are of course still there), they are instead replaced by a... mournful quality?

?

"Rest in Peace, Shen-Shixiong." is said in the middle of the night one day, when his fake has long since slept, the words like a whisper in the wind. In his mind's eye, he can smell the incense of sandalwood and jasmine, with an offering of melon seeds beside it...

...!

oh...

... Not once, not since he has been stuck in his home, has he heard his Shang-Shidi call the imposter Shixiong...

For that night, Shen Jiu stares at one of the pictures on the walls of his bamboo house, keen eyes seeing the subtle symbols for mourning on it, a subtle 9 easily hidden among the strokes if one was not a master like himself, the rage a quiet thing tonight as he thinks.

-

And then, one day, seemingly normal for all it is a quiet day at his peak, Shen Jiu finds that whatever was trapping him, caging him, chaining him to his bamboo house turned prison is gone.

He doesn't miss his chance, out the door before his mind can catch up, before he fully realizes he has been freed. It is only once he is off his mountain, out from that sect, away from everyone, that Shen Jiu realizes he has a choice.

He can feel it, he can feel his body even with the distance he is, knows exactly which direction to go if he wants to reclaim it. And he could, he could do so rather easily he can tell, whatever link between it and chained binding his imposter had gone...

...But why should he?

Why should he? Why should he go back to all those so willing to trade him for his knock off, why should he go back to people who will only be disappointed in the return of the 'old Shen-QingQiu' even if it is the true one.

Why should he debase himself to go crawling back to people in a body even more wrecked then his Qi-Deviation left it, all wanting something he is not and will never be?

(Go to see that panting, drooling Beast, to the desperate, stalking Brute, to that disappointing, clinging to scraps and fakes Brother Sect Leader?

To see those calculating, distrusting, mournful brown eyes? As weak as he is now? Not worthy to even be called Shixiong.)

Shen Jiu pauses, turning aways from where he can feel his body, where all those lies and expectations are, into a different direction, where death calls and the yin energy beacons any foolish or ambitious or both to answer.

He can feel it in his distant bones, trembling in his ghostly yin qi running through his spiritual body, his other choice.

The Gates of the City of Gu are about to open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note:

*Me looking at Airplane, his trust issues, his knowledge of just how fucked up his story could be, thinking of alllllll those wife plots and the trickery* No way this man didn't try a few ways to see if Shen QingQiu was possessed by something or another; not that he doubts the all knowing sword, but yeah, he doubts the fucking sword.

Also, if anyone were to find out that Airplane was technically the creator god, I headcanon people would assume he was a literary god who either gained too much power on accident or some other gods decided to fuck around for shits and giggles because they could.

Also, Shen Jiu would be smart enough to figure out about the system, even if he doesn't know exactly what it is, the concept he understands fucking terrifies him; no way would he go back into his body giving the choice, being so weak from without a cure and whatever the fuck the imposter did to it to where he can go back. He'll take his fucking chances.

(Besides... his Shidi like demons well enough, why not a Calamity?) :3

[scrapyardboyfriends]

I do think the show have done Aaron's character a disservice with how they have written him since this John nonsense has started. He was always street wise, didn't suffer fools gladly and a good judge of character but to enable this John the killer/psychopath story to play out they have written Aaron as completely plot stupid and oblivious to how weird John is. Not to mention the utterly bizarre way that he doesn't see it as strange in the slightest to be dating/engaged to Robert's brother! And after all this comes out they can hardly use the excuse of him being blinded by love being the reason for it because he has zero chemistry with John, they don't seem to enjoy each others company and they just seem to exist in each others orbit! I really wish better writers like Maxine were involved in all this as at least then we would get some glimmers of the real Aaron.

I wholeheartedly agree. I mean, for me, this is why, no matter what reveal happens or even if it did bring Robert back, which I doubt it will, this can never really be considered a good story. Not only has it been excruciating to watch from a John perspective (probably bad acting and weird mannerisms and lack of chemistry), it has also definitely done a disservice to Aaron as character for all of the reasons you mentioned.

This Aaron just doesn't make sense.

And it's not even like you could make the argument that he doesn't need to bothered because of Robert anymore. Because they A) went out of their way and made John his alleged brother and B) continue to bring Robert up in the context of him being everything that Aaron ever wanted. So it's never just been us being annoyed by it. There are canon reasons Aaron should find all of this a bit weird.

And then yeah, you can't make the argument that he's blinded by love because we've seen Aaron in love, this is not it. And you can't even really argue that it's not meant to be because then I feel like Aaron should be questioning it. At some point, he should have questioned it fore real, on screen. And yeah he's been hesitant to express his feelings but that's because I feel like he doesn't really have them. Again, we've seen Aaron be so in love he can't help himself but tell someone. That's not happening here. The trajectory and pacing of this relationship has been terrible from the start. And I just feel like if they wanted this story to be believable at all, they should have made at least some kind of effort to make it better.

In general, I feel like it would be better if John was properly integrated into the village and not just because people feel indebted to him for saving them one way or another from situations he creates or situations that fall into this lap like the Antony stuff. And sure, that may be part of his MO but there's just so many missing pieces here that I can't really invest.

We don't know if he killed Nate or why if he did. We don't know where he really buried Anthony's body if it's not in the woods or why. We don't know for sure if he's behind Chas' overdose. We possibly don't know the real Aiden story. We don't know what his motivations are at all. We don't know if he has any real feelings for Aaron. We don't know if he has any feelings about having a sister and a nephew etc. We don't even know if he's really a Sugden.

The only things we know are that he's a bit weird, has posture problems and knows how to clean up a crime scene and that he has a lackluster relationship with Aaron.

I don't know, I look at someone like Cameron, who was really well integrated into the village with his relationships with Debbie and Chas. And while both of those were a bit of a disaster, you could feel that he had feelings for both of them. And he was there long enough that he had relationships with Aaron before he left, with Alex before he killed him. He worked at various places in the village. We also saw his trajectory into madness, which I think was an interesting way to do a serial killer story.

And then there's Meena, which I don't really think was as good as some Meena fanatics make out it was, but she still felt more integrated into the village. We got plenty of her and Manpreet being sisters. Of Meena being super invested in Manpreet's relationships. Her relationship with David may not have been love but it was clearly obsession. And they contrasted that with David's emotional affair with Vic, which we were invested in until outside actions messed that up. I obviously don't think it ended as well as the Cameron story but for quite a while I really think it worked much better than this John stuff. Meena was fun to watch even before she was revealed to be a killer. John has always been incredibly dull.

Sigh...

[menlove]

I don't know if somebody already asked you, but what do you think ACTUALLY happened in India?

in myyyy opinion I honestly don't think anything major happened 😭 I have a Couple Reasons and it's mostly bc I'm a "they were fucking the whole time" truther, but I can see where people that view paul as being repressed & rejecting john would find india as the most likely Catastrophe Spot

i'll just toss some of my thoughts under the cut fdfasf

but basically for me it just comes down to:

the Biggest shifts in their attitudes to each other seemed to have happened when brian died & the subsequent mmt disaster, when john started going all in with yoko, and finally at Some point between the rooftop concert and the abbey road sessions. none of those, to Me, line up w something major happening in india. they were already a little strained after brian/mmt & they seemed to be still at that "strained but still friends" point after india

apparently, paul & ringo leaving india early was pre-planned out. there was like an article that mentioned that they'd be leaving early before the beatles even left for india, mentioning that paul would be coming back early to deal w some business stuff. so this, to me, is a hole in the Big India Shift theory

and IF they were fucking the whole time like i personally believe (i may be crazy it's fine), i think that fits pretty well with the lil reference we get in get back. bc john blows that mic with GUSTO & paul isn't acting nervous or like someone who just got called out for ditching him after fucking him, he's just sort of giggly/flustered like john's just referencing a time they fucked that they can't talk about in front of people lmao

so for MEEE what i Actually think happened was probably just....... things getting More uncomfortable (what with john constantly getting telegrams from yoko & the fact that cyn was there and her and john were Not getting on well) & them possibly fucking but it not really being a big deal bc it was just already a thing that they did.

i Do agree with one take i saw in the general beatles fandom world that part of the reason things started to go sour for everyone after india was just that they were all sober for the first time in fucking AGES & when that happens you kind of look around at yourself, your life, and the people you're around and start questioning things. i think by that point they were all becoming highly individualized people & without the security blanket of drugs it became apparent that they'd drifted apart. not just john and paul, but all 4 of them (& cyn and jane, for john & paul respectively).

i mean i could be wrong! if i'm wrong abt paul just being closeted & them having had an acknowledged sexual relationship going on, i can see where the logic would follow that maybe something happened in india. but honestly, for me, even in that case i just don't see enough evidence of smth happening. i think it's a Good Spot for something to happen, like narratively/for fanfiction, but as far as it being like a solid theory for me i just don't really buy it? it's kind of like how for me personally i think a "good spot" for them to have a tender moment would be after the "bigger than jesus" incident, but it's not something i have evidence for or necessarily Believe, i just think narratively it would be neat. same goes for india, so like i can and do still enjoy fics/headcanons about it, i just personally don't see enough actual concrete evidence to lead me to believe in it seriously.

and this is absolutely not to shit on anyone or judge this theory at all. like i said, i can see why people get here, i just don't see it myself. and that's mostly due to my own core mclennon theories that they were fucking & paul is just a closeted bisexual lol. if people believe otherwise, that's totally fine! keep on theorizing and having a blast yk

[nanomooselet]

Episode Eight: Our Home

When this episode was first airing I saw someone describe it as "com[ing] for your feels with a rusty shiv" and it sure does! It sure does. It'll only get worse from here on out. :D

Little sprouts in their little hats! This scene is so friggin' cute and the show ruins it by cutting straight to the aftermath of the crash. Unfair.

The first time I watched this, I realised that Nai wasn't "evil" from the start. That is, he wasn't always... like he is now. I think he truly loved Rem and Vash, though he might have only realised how much later on. But on rewatch, I also don't think Vash's memories of his childhood with Nai carry the same level of nostalgic longing that Knives does for his memories. In the few short minutes he's being recorded, here are three things that Nai does.

Upset Vash by acting as though food - judging by Vash's reaction - makes Vash less of a Plant.

Play a prank by convincing Rem of something that isn't true.

Show affection to his brother... after Vash goes along with it and Rem falls for it.

I think, for Vash, the discovery they eventually made wasn't so violently unlike what he'd come to expect that he couldn't handle it. Vash believed he could rely on Rem to accept him and that was all he really needed. But what did Nai believe he had? His brother. He could rely on Vash to back him up, to play along, to understand. Vash seemingly being lesser, being other (like Rem) made Nai feel lonely. And though this touches on the manga* more than what we've so far seen in Stampede, I think Knives is far more of an idealist than Vash has ever been, even now.

Vash wants a better world, and he's willing to work for it, to fail, and to try again. He knows what it's like to fall short.

Knives wants a perfect world, and perfection admits no mistakes.

I just damn near made myself cry thinking about Rem and what she considers her mistakes MOVING ON.

THIS ISN'T AN IMPROVEMENT although it is a lovely colour scheme.

When Nai reveals the truth about the crash (or what he believes to be the truth; Knives cannot be relied upon as a source of information even a little bit), Vash flees. He continues to flee; even lying in the sand, it's to seek some kind of escape - not a good kind, but that's what it is. "I want this all to end./I don't want to be here." He can't, of course. Not before humans find him. We're survivors. For all our many faults, evolution didn't select for us giving up or failing to help each other, especially in the wake of such a disaster.

It's true that Brad and Luida aren't initially accepting of Vash, but it's Vash who frames himself in terms of usefulness, echoing Nai. It's Vash who seems to believe he shouldn't live unless he can... somehow make up for what "he" did. Luida doesn't know that. She sees another survivor, wrestling with the same guilt. I think the way she speaks with him may have been how she coped herself - and perhaps the way for Brad too, come to think of it. He acts like a paranoid dick, but when given a lead to pursue, he runs right off to dig through wreckage and bodies for some sign of Rem and finds the only shreds of comfort Vash was likely to get. They both have something to do. While I do wish Vash had chosen to live for the sake of living, I think what's keeping him in that bare little room isn't that he's an unproductive Plant or the hatred of humans (at least not just that). It's a trap he built for himself. As long as he does nothing, he's doing nothing wrong and he's not adding to the burden he already bears. They shouldn't trust him, not after what he did.

So when Luida trusts him to help the dying Plant as Rem's blank ticket story plays, she's making a choice. And that's to allow Vash to make his own choice: to live, even with his guilt.

The montage of him travelling around helping Plants! He teaches people how to take care of them properly! It makes him so happy!

So I really, really hope the speculation is wrong and Vash isn't burning himself out doing that. It seems paranoid, and it doesn't feel intuitively true the way some of my other speculation has, but that might just be wishful thinking. I definitely can't rely on Vash admitting it if it is true. I really hope he has at least one nice thing he doesn't pay for with his blood. :(

When Nai's influence re-emerges, so to does the burden of guilt, death and destruction he represents. It's funny that Brad's impulsive anger and mistrust is what drives Vash to seek his brother out - where Vash is going, he'll find plenty more of that.

One more thing. In the shot where Vash enters the Plant carrier (the city of July, or at least, the site where it'll be built in future), it zooms in to show Nai, standing. But if you look very closely as it does? He's rising to his feet from a kneeling position. I wonder what would have happened if Vash had entered a little earlier?

*Reading Maximum in like two days and then watching the final three/four episodes of Stampede was a terrible idea.

[copterbotblades]

  independent roleplay/ask blog for Blades of Transformers: Rescue Bots ✨️🚁  single muse*, multiverse & multiship, semi-selective, sfw, low/sporadic activity    anon asks & M!As welcome

  *(secondary muse Dani Burns may also appear)

Status: Busy (Inactive but lurking!)

written by Firefly, she/her (character bio & notes below)

note: I edit this post a lot. like multiple times a week if i'm feeling active. everything on here is subject to change

-🚁- Rules

 no internet discourse! i simply do not care :)

 no nsfw - I don't judge, but I am personally extremely uncomfortable with it, especially in a Transformers context. also note that I probably won't follow blogs that do explicit roleplays or writings on main-- again, nothing against you or the content, I just don't want to see it.

 please message me if you want to plan or chat about anything!

-🚁- Backstory

   During the latter years of the Autobot-Decepticon war, a rescue team of four young adult Cybertronians were discovered by Optimus Prime after being in stasis for several millennia. At this point, Rescue Bots were thought to be extinct. The bots were brought to Earth and paired with a family of human rescue workers to protect the residents of a semi-isolated high-tech island called Griffin Rock, where they regularly prevent disaster from occurring.    Blades, the team's medic and only flier, is very anxious and easily frightened. Despite his protests due to his fear of heights, he had to scan a helicopter altmode after reaching Earth. His human partner is Dani Burns, an EMT and rescuer in her early 20s. While the pair had a difficult beginning with many disagreements, they eventually realized how much they had in common. The two are now inseparable friends both in rescue work and at home, watching TV and making interesting attempts at baking.

-🚁- FAQs

 Time frame - Unless stated otherwise, events take place between the S1 finale and S3 finale-- essentially meaning that Doc Greene and Frankie are aware of the bots' sentience, but the rest of the island residents are not.

 Will RP with - Transformers, some OCs, and maybe characters from other fandoms. (please DM first!)

 Genres - Any. Fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, crack, whatever. Violence and injury is ok, gore is not.

 Ships - My ships with Blades are almost always Bumblebee or Heatwave, but I'm open to others! Shipping isn't really a priority for me though.

 Anonymous asks - yes! I can't promise to answer every ask, but know that all are appreciated :]

 Magic Anons - yes, always!

 also, "low/sporadic activity" means that sometimes I'll be really active one week and then completely disappear the next. i promise i haven't forgotten, i'm just busy and/or have writer's block </3

Formatting - IC writing is in plain text, speaking lines are in quotes "", thoughts are in italics. If Blades is speaking over commlinks, text will be .:like this:. . OOC posts and tags are in brackets [ ]. I can't/won't write with asterisks.

-🚁- Character notes & headcanons:

  Both Blades and Dani are pansexual.

  Blades has bright orange/yellow optics. (Yes, I know they're green in RBA. I like orange better.)

  Dani has dark brown eyes that can light up in the sunshine.

  The concept of gender doesn't really exist on Cybertron, but on Earth Blades sort of defaulted to he/him. He doesn't mind being called by other pronouns, but he/him feels most natural.

  Blades used to have a Cybertronian ground altmode similar to an Earth sports car. He sometimes misses racing with the other Rescue Bots and his friends back on Cybertron.

  He's learned to deal with his fear of heights and become a skilled flier, but is still vulnerable to panic in the air, especially under stressful circumstances (e.g. weather).

  His helicopter rotors are extremely sensitive, and fragile. If they are broken or bent, he can't fly until they are repaired and healed. And if they are touched without consent he may become irritable and flustered.

  Blades is the team's medic. However, he is young, inexperienced and obviously nowhere near the skill level of those like Ratchet. (Also, he knows next to nothing about human anatomy and health. That's Dani's job.)

originally est. 2022 / new blog est. 2024

[thesporkidentity]

an incomplete list of texts i sent as i slowly lost my mind over the second book of rivers of london, because i fully intend to drag at least one more person into this pit with me. come read with me i promise you're gonna feel so good and normal over this book, come closer

wow okay peter remains the absolute horniest bastard ever. is he a tits or an ass man? yes

oh we are just getting the surface levels hints of nightingales MOUNTAIN of unresolved PTSD and i am very 🥺

you ever feel like a character was written specifically to appeal to you? i'm getting so many tantalizing hints and i KNOW he's going to destroy because he's catnip. he is bait specifically designed to hurt my feelings

also his description makes me think of lee pace or like, 90s/00s paul mcgann and that's just Very Good and i'm being deeply not normal about it

also nightingale reads as SO queer to me, and the potential in fic to explore what that means insofar as how he has navigated the changing landscape of queerness from 1900 to present day is so tantalizing. i don't care that the author says he's not, in this case the author is wrong lol

i must say, i do not care for simone. if we absolutely MUST have hetersexual nonsense in this book i would like beverly back please. she was cool and not a cheating homewrecking jazz groupie lol

still not impressed with simone. i mean, far be it from me to judge a woman's grieving process and all, but she doesn't seem very broken up over her within-the-week dead lover. i mean, i LOVE peter and all and he's hot shit, but immediately falling into bed with him? sus

in conclusion bring 👏 bev 👏 back 👏

also peter, buddy, WHAT ARE YOU DOING

he's a disaster so even though i'm screaming DON'T DO THAT i am unsurprised he is being led around by his dick by a beautiful woman throwing herself at him

but i just. i Don't Trust Her. she doesn't make sense, and i can't tell if this is a case of male author writing wish fulfillment and thus not giving the hot girl adequate motivation of her own

or whether i AM supposed to find it suspicious the way she basically doesn't mourn the man she homewrecked who died very suddenly and then IMMEDIATELY jumps into bed with the magic cop investigating his very probable murder

and i REALIZE the only way to find out is to keep reading, it's just frustrating that women are written poorly so often that, even if he's written good women before, i still have to debate with this is a subtle clue or just Male Author Syndrome

oh my god he finally twigs that this may be weird behavior. peter. bud.

at least he got it before trying to sneak her past folly wards?

side note: god lesley really got the short end of the stick. like, her face fell off, her teeth are a fucking mess, and she probably has brain damage. she got royally shafted

peter "i'm totally straight" grant, talking about how he wants to take a muscly guy by the shoulders and kiss his cheeks and making sure to mention how many phone numbers her got while canvasing the gay bar.

hmm sure, jan

look i KNOW peter is Incredibly Horny All The Time when near any attractive woman, but simone appears from NOWHERE half dressed while he's canvassing for the jazz vampire and he just skives off like that? while looking for a potential killer? that doesn't seem like him he's not that irresponsible. that smells like conspiracy and glamour and i don't trust herrrrrrr

like, peter was already horny wanting to motorboat mama thames (lol don't think i didn't catch that pun) last book. but this book has been a whole new level of horny, and peter may be distractible but not THAT distractible surely

another side note. i love molly and nightingale's weird friendship they've developed living basically with just each other for decades.

oh jesus that's fucked up

oh the severed head is talking

oh. oh no. it got worse

peter, darling, beloved, is now REALLY the time to be talking about how hot your boss is? like i appreciate your dedication to the thirst but time and place, bud

oh never mind i forgive you nightingale is so fucking cool, i get it, i love him

he's so good. the most tragic backstory and perfect stiff upper lip old fashioned english gentleman on the outside, and then just below the surface he's a daredevil and a bit of a bitch and he fucking CARES just SO MUCH and have i mentioned how much the casterbrook wall HURTS ME?? this was revealed in the last book but i just remembered it and it stabbed me again

okay i'm done

i feel like peter has miscalculated making a deal with his cousin to teach her if she aces latin. that's gonna come back to bite lol hope you like teaching too smart for their own good teenagers cuz that's gonna be your life now

"but sir, what do we do if you die??!" "well, that doesn't seem like it will be my problem at that point :)" he's such a bitch sometimes and i LOVE him, mother

ohhhhh. oh no. the pale lady looked like molly and now molly is obviously not okay after she died, that resemblance wasn't just coincidence she definitely knew her 😢

and this is the first person peter has killed, no matter how accidentally. and nightingale is back in the hospital with his chest infection. wow everyone is just having a terrible time right now

okay. i realize that as a memory for him this probably isn't a GOOD one, it's from the war and probably much scarier and MUCH more traumatizing than he makes it sound with his dry narration of it. but god. nightingale knocked out two TANKS. by himself. with his mind. fucking sexy lol

oh damn it why can't they just let me be horny about how powerful he is instead of immediately following it with the fact that he was rear guard and making emotional that it means he was the one trusted to watch over and protect the rest of his men while they retreated as that one final shield between them and enemy fire

hhhhhhhholy shit what did simone DO to mama grant???!!!!

she just bitch slapped her!

OH MY GOD SHE TRIED TO HOMEWRECK HIS PARENTS TOO???

she's PLAUSIBLY IMMORTAL???

fuck i was right she was sketchy as hell!!

she's a fucking jazz vampire and she's been glamouring and sucking him dry! buddy, get to dr walid STAT for a brain scan and make sure she's not turning you into cauliflower!

peter don't you make excuses for her you KNOW it's possible, stop lying about your mum and trying to make her feel better you need to take her in she's a m u r d e r e r

i mean, glamour yes i realize but god, frustrating

good lad peter, i see you fighting it 💪🏾

ohhhhhhhh. oh fuck. she didn't KNOW. she didn't know she was from the 40s and killing people. oh this is bad

nightingale, attempting to show concern: "that was not the most intelligent thing you've done" xD 10/10 nailed it buddy

umm, nightingale? this may not be the black and white moral situation you think it is to go in guns blazing...

it's both funny and little sad how militant both molly and dr walid are when nightingale is injured like. i do LOVE when the person who is SUPPOSEDLY in charge gets lovingly bullied, but it hurts because that's also probably the ONLY way to make him take care of himself is if they FORCE him. and peter's not any better, he's gonna need bullying too

i do love when they team up though. molly and nightingale ganging up against peter like. nightingale gets the special treatment and a hot cocoa from molly, but peter gets the dog's leash and smug little "i'm on bedrest :)" or nightingale foisting the rest of his kidney pie on peter while molly is out of the room then grabbing his empty plate back to pretend he ate it all himself when she returns xD

the cases are interesting and all, but i think it's the core characters that are really the standout of the novel and the reason i keep reading even while i'm asking myself things like, but WHY is she killing via vagina dentata instead of literally any other assassination method? i think it's also why simone stood out so much. she HAD no background that we were told (until now) aside from being sexy. which of course i now know was intentional

"this is your brain, which is not only clean and unsullied by thought..." i love dr walid. it probably says something about me that my favorite characters all have to be at least a little bit of a bitch

oh no i'm having feeeeeelings about both nightingale and peter trying to keep the other out of the vampire raid to shield them from the emotional effects of it, just from opposite ends. nightingale doesn't want peter to have the pain of ANOTHER death on his hands, this one purposeful as opposed to the accidental death of the pale lady, so he's trying to just cut him out of it. and then peter ALSO doesn't want NIGHTINGALE to have the weight of more deaths on his soul and wants to protect him from what he sees as the unfortunate necessity of having to off someone who isn't intentionally hurting someone but still may be too dangerous to live. nightingale trying to save peter from his bleeding heart and peter saving nightingale from his practicality overriding his morality 😭 i just love when characters try to take care of each other in mirrored ways

uh...uh oh peter...no i don't think those are the police OR nightingale's paratrooper buddies

okay the audiobook is fucking excellent though, his infomercial voice while extolling the virtues of doc martins is KILLING me

oh this posh wanker. "oh what is feeding on people but another form of exploitation, and we all know there's nothing wrong with exploiting workers, equality is morally bankrupt anyway" god i hate you already you're insufferable

like of COURSE a dining club oxford nose wipe would think that way. he thinks he's sooooo slick and original with his chimeras they're such exciting new COL crimes but it all just boils down the the exact same rich white bullshit mentality

he would hate it if he realized how dull and banal his villainy is once you strip back the shock value of the trappings. just another entitled prick who views people as things, fuck this dude

i'd be tempted to say the faceless man's signare smelling like pork was a dig at david cameron and piggate if i didn't know it was written a few years too early for that lol

peter: oh no nightingale is going to give me SUCH a bollocking nightingale, obviously so relieved he's alive: very much does NOT give him a bollocking and instead tells him how impressive it is that he didn't just immediately die against the faceless man

"for a terrifying moment i thought he was going to huge me, but fortunately we both remembered we were english just in time. still, it was a close call" 🤣🤣🤣

oh ouch peter. just use all his dead friends against him. effective but also, low blow

god he wants so badly for peter to be right, too, that they and HE doesn't have to kill anyone anymore, that how that it's not Just Him ALl Alone they might have the support structure for other options. oh no i want this to work so badly so that hope is validated, but i just know something is gonna go wrong

welp

i didn't like her but i didn't want her fuckin DEAD you know?

and now the ones left standing have to deal with the trauma and the fallout

oh lesley :( they're both trying so hard to be normal about it and they're such good friends 🥺

LESLEY DO MAGIC?

LESLEY JOIN TEAM FOLLY???!!

also don't think you've been sneaky there and that i haven't noticed SOME sort of thematic symmetry of lesley struggling with having lost her face involuntarily from magic, and the faceless man having voluntarily masked himself. involuntary vs voluntary loss of identity. i'm sure there will be more parallels in the next book but like. i see you. i see you setting up face themes with these two

hopefully with lesley regaining her face somehow and thus reclaiming identity while the faceless man is unmasked thus losing the identity he built for himself and revealing the true one he hid. maybe hopefully? i want good things for lesley and bad things for the faceless one.

[heinzpilsner]

Today, there will be no logic, structure and objectivity here. Today I just wanna whine talk about Zuko's character presentation in "The Beach" episode.

Because it never fails in making me cringe.

Aesthetically, being an aimless teenager in a disastrous romantic relationship just doesn't suit Zuko's long-suffering character.

And I can't even tell for sure if it's an inadequate transition of his personality from the previous seasons onto different life circumstances, which only annoys me more.

All I know is that reading the scripts of book 1 with Zuko being an angry brat always makes me smile.

And the scripts of book 3 with similar content only make me groan.

So, "It just isn't fun anymore" is the first clue I can put my finger on.

(This, and the fact that I hate Zuko's emo haircut with passion. Geez, and after this people call the ponytail an abomination!)

Ponytail rights, yay!

But me having or not having fun, as well as my haircut unpopular preferences are not exactly good arguments in an objective character analysis. Which is my primary point of interest. Usually.

Which means I have to take Zuko's behavior in this episode into consideration.

And I kinda hate the fact.

Let's take the situation with Zuko's jealousy, for example.

(I mean... After assuming first that "Zuko being in love with Mai instead of just tolerating her out of loneliness" thing isn't ooc in the first place.

Writers, I still do not quite believe you here.)

I suppose he could become irrationally jealous in a relationship because of his insecurities, especially considering Mai's cold treatment recently, but...

Would Zuko be possessive about his girlfriend to the point of physical aggression?

I mean, he is a hot-tempered young man, and he is prone to physical aggression when angry. We saw it enough times in the past.

But before "The Beach", we could tell nothing about whether he would be a possessive partner or not - just because we never before saw him in a long-term romantic relationship.

So, this is the only precedent we can really judge this aspect of Zuko's personality by. And even with him being in a bad emotional state, this precedent doesn't speak in Zuko's favor.

And... it was introduced why exactly?

Oh yeah, just for the sake of giving Mai a good reason to break up with him for a couple of hours.

But... When I think about it, one little question arises.

Why on earth the writers decided to add new unsympathetic traits to the palette when audience was already hostile towards Zuko?

I mean, after his treatment of his uncle, and the whole Sparky Sparky Boom Man business, the guy already was at his lowest point!

Zuko's character has not yet recovered from the writers' previous assassination attempt, but they decide to deliver another blow on top of that! What a brilliant idea.

Hello guys, have you forgotten you were aiming for a redemption arc here? My sympathy for the guy already shrinked to the point of invisibility, thank you very much! It's not the time to add brand new reasons for the viewers to dislike Zuko!

So, the real problem here is not about whether Zuko is ooc or not. It's about the writers' decisions in depicting the character in certain ways in a certain point of the story.

Hence, the fundamental difference between book 1 fun brattiness and book 3 cringy disaster lies in the dynamic of the character's development.

I wonder - was it just incompetence, or... the creators' willful intent?

/paranoid noises/

(I couldn't help but analyze things in the end, could I?)

Anyway, even if they tried really hard, Zuko's character still managed to survive it. Barely, but managed.

Hurray?

(But after all, what else would you expect from Zuko of all people, lol?)

... What I'm gonna do with canonical fact of his possessiveness though?

Well, on one hand, it could be a nice addition to my 'imperfect zutara' theory. But on the other...

Ahem. Well. I guess I'll treat it just like I treat LoK and the comics!

... Did you ever hear me talking about them? That's it.

Thanks for your attention!

(Hmm. Perhaps I could try to analyze Maiko dynamic in "The Beach" as a theoretical psychological exercise, after all. I suspect I'll have to drink first to be able to deal with this stuff though. Anyway, we'll see.)

And as usual, I'm ignoring all the notifications~

[thedawningofthehour]

Hi,

I am mainly almost done with season 1 of rottmnt.

My mind is thinking if the characters were put in Hazbin Hotel, Leo would be Alastor. I have no idea why.

Another head canon I have is that after Leo finds out that Splinter Big Mama. Leo would not trust Splinter to pick out friends after that.

Also, correct me if I am wrong, Leo seems to be more suspicious, but he knows how to face trust someone well? If that makes any sense.

I mean, I get where you're coming from with the comparison, both Leo and Alastor are very charismatic and prefer to keep their true feelings hidden under a pretty veneer, (though Leo would never be a radio host his face was made to be seen) but morality-wise? Their manipulative talents? Alastor is more similar to Big Mama, and though we've established that Leo is very much like Big Mama, he's still very young. He's basically Big Mama-lite, he still has a lot to learn before he's anywhere close to her or Alastor's level.

And yeah, we can't rule out the morality, Leo may be problematic on several levels but he is still very much a hero. He'll do dumb shit, he's willing to prioritize the 'wrong' things, (like his family over the rest of the world or some shit) but at the end of the day he's here to do good. Alastor 'serial killer but like Dexter' profession and his moral code of 'fuck shit up but respect women,' that's more like Donnie. Sooooo maybe a disaster twin fusion?

It's also hard to judge because I really don't know what Vivziepop's intention with Alastor is. She could be planning to make him the final boss or finish the show with him firmly by Charlie's side, still more of an antihero but one she can rely on. Or she could be totally ironic and have him redeem himself and die for his friends-very unlikely, but if I trusted any show to be able to pull off a redemption like that well it would be Hazbin Hotel. (also why I'm not opposed to an Adam redemption if he's reincarnated into hell in S2-I think they would handle that very well) Normally I'd put my money on Alastor being the ultimate enemy of the show-if it weren't for his own deal. That establishes that Alastor is not pulling all the strings here, that there's someone above him. I think this person will end up being a major antagonist, if not the final antagonist. It's just a complete mystery who this person could be-I've seen theories that it's Lilith, but I doubt that because I think it's implied that this person is an angel, which Lilith very much is not. (Alastor and Lilith's disappearances are most definitely linked though) I'd suspect Lucifer or Adam, except Alastor acknowledges that he's never met either of them. So that leaves Sera, or some unnamed angel we haven't met yet.

(the real emperor of heaven and hell was Niffty all along)

[stevishabitat]

I accidentally deleted a fuckton of pics from my phone (in a legit irretrievable way), my bedroom is a hot mess, the basement still smells like sewage because of the plumbing disaster of the month, work got unexpectedly busy this week and I just have no energy to dea with any of it.

the chaotic weather has got me migraining non stop, the pharmacy sent me an ominously vague msg about not being able to fill my migraine prevention med this month (wtf???). I'll have to call or go in while kiddo is away and see who I need to throw hands with to get this resolved.

I have to drive halfway across the state tomorrow and then again on Sunday, because kiddo's other parent decide (after 5 weeks of hedging) to invite kiddo over for a couple of days.

also, Cranky Old Man cat decided this week to scratch and lick himself raw from chin to chest, and I swear he's just looking for reasons to be miserable and cranky.

Observe Frank (Cranky Old Man). He's sulking because I won't let him make his neck worse.

kiddo has turned their bedroom/our living room into a chaos pile and I can't even get to the front door. Plus the porch christmas tree (don't judge me) fell over in the wind storm, so there's no accessing from outdoors either. I think there may be a delivery of cat food out there, but I'd have to walk around the house from the outside to be sure. And we're back to freezing temps again, so I'd rather not.

Tree is down, all the cushions are.... gone?

anyway. I'm just venting here because I don't really have anyone irl to vent to. And if I keep ruminating, I may just explode.

And why are there no snacks? (because I was trying to save money last grocery day, that's why). There should be snacks. And chocolate. And maybe beer.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 4

Episode 11: Diamonds Are For Heather

~In the Man Cave~

"Emergency. Danger. Crisis. Peril. Doomsday. Calamity. Disaster. Catastrophe. Apocalypse." 

Well, that's a nice greeting from the supercomputer's automated voice, for any panicking boy. It had been a peaceful evening for Henry, Charlotte, Jasper, (y/n), everyone really; nothing eventful had happened, the hours after school had dragged on with no worrying or life-threatening screw-ups so they'd all gone to bed for the night when the time came, content that they'd wake up the next day. After all, why should anything bad happen after such a calm shift in the Man Cave?

Well, that had been the plan. Just as they'd drifted off, following the sandman to wherever he may take them, they were all awoken by a terrible, shrill beep, (y/n) bolting upright in bed to see the bed cold and empty to the left of her, plus the emergency beacon illuminating the walls scarlet, and the teens getting a beep on their watch/phones that only meant that they had to get to the Man Cave as soon as possible because shit was going down. 

So they did; upon seeing that her fiancé was gone, vanished, stolen or god knows what else, (y/n) had scrambled out of bed, yanked a blanket around her shoulders for "protection" and had bolted down the corridor, thinking that Ray had been abducted from their room and was being tortured or something. 

They had definitely settled in for sleep, or least, he had been there when she did. Plus, he never left their headquarters without saying so, but the alarm made everything seem blurry, she couldn't think straight, not when the monitors were flashing and her hero was nowhere to be found. 

Okay, no Schwoz, no Ray, Doomsday Protocol activated, what should she do?

Not a lot really, at least she didn't have to do any panicking alone. A few minutes into her pacing, muttering and slight heart attack, a tube dropped with a highly dishevelled Henry inside, the boy looking like he had run a marathon in his sleep as she cowered under her blanket at the sound of an intruder, but relaxed slightly when she recognised her friend. 

Okay, not being alone was good, Henry wasn't dead, also good, someone who could help her figure out what was wrong, extremely good. This was fine, she was fine, or she would be fine if she kept twisting her engagement ring like it could switch off her worry.

"Ray?! (y/n)?! Where's Ray?! You okay? Oh my god!" Henry asked rapidly and breathlessly, immediately trotting down from his tube pad to put his hands on the woman's shoulders as she tried to keep her heart beating steadily. Okay, he was guessing that she couldn't answer the first question judging by how pale she was and how, like him, she was confused, nervous and ready for bed, only to have been shaken by the sudden emergency.

"I don't know! I woke up and he was gone and he never goes without telling me and he's not answering my texts and I can't think of where he could be and I won't lie, I'm freaking out!!" (y/n) panted as her mouth ran itself, voicing every anxiety she had at the stress of being roused and plonked in an unnerving situation, one where the man she loved more than anything was missing, leaving her void of leadership and concerned about what could've happened to him. 

A villain, a weapon, Drex, goddamn muffins, anything could've stolen him and she wasn't sure if she could stomach the thought of him so helpless that he'd felt the need to activate their most serious distress signal.

"Okay, (y/n/n), just breathe, we're gonna find him and he's gonna be all right. We're gonna find out what's going on, 'kay?" He spoke to him in the calmest voice he could muster, a sharp contrast to how he actually felt, but he knew that if Ray really had been kidnapped or something, then leading the rescue would fall on them and since she knew the man better than anyone else, she needed to use that clever brain of hers and some superhero training. 

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right, he's fine, we'll find him. I'm fine, it's fine." She nodded, patting the hands that rest on her shoulders and pulling the blanket closer. Jeez, she normally didn't feel the cold, her pyjamas were thin and not what you'd call built for warmth, but she slept next to Ray every night, who was practically a walking furnace, so damn hot in every way that she found anything else too uncomfortable. Plus, it provided her with some reassurance that soon, he'd be back, safe and sound, his arms covering her bare ones, it was just a matter of seeing if they could seek him out.

"Yeah, so let's find him." Henry nodded, looking around the main room for any sign of where his boss could be. Nothing was amiss, the only change being the red, flashing lights everywhere and (y/n)'s wobbly bottom lip, so he figured that if he couldn't see Ray, then the guy might be able to hear him. "Ray?! Yo, Ray! Ray, where are you?"

"Raymond! Come on, where are you?!" The young woman joined in, figuring that two voices were better than one, but they got no reply unless the computer's words counted. Still no sign of their boss, but here came more help. That was something, at the very least.

"Henry! (y/n)!" Charlotte shrieked as she and Jasper came sprinting out of the elevator, also clad in pyjamas with messy hair and it looked like they'd run from their houses too. They never got many signals since they weren't superheroes, but some, a very small amount that was reserved for only the gravest emergencies, went through to their phones and it instilled fear in their hearts that something horrific was happening. 

"Charlotte, Jasper, thank god, you're here..." (y/n) breathed out when she turned to see them skidding across the tiles. Okay, two more of her friends were not dead, that was good too, more brainpower to help them figure this mess out. Or perhaps they'd received a message with more details, something to tell them where her dumb lover had disappeared to.

"Have you seen Ray?" Henry asked quickly once they'd stopped moving, his prayers echoing his friend's. It was unlikely but not impossible that Ray had told them rather than her where he was going and that they were there to deliver his instructions...wishful thinking, right?

"No, where is he?!" Charlotte shook her head frantically, making the boy and woman groan internally. Well, there was that hope dashed and honestly, (y/n) wished people would stop asking her that, including her own brain. It's not like she kept Ray on a leash or had a GPS microchip in his neck, even if the idea was sounding pretty useful round about now, she was the most important person in his life but she knew nothing, as stated many times.

"I don't know, I woke up and he was gone! No texts, no calls, nothing, just that stupid alarm!" She replied panic-stricken, angrily throwing her fist in the computer's direction. The sound was reverberating in her skull and getting really fucking annoying at this rate, she just needed to think but there were too many stimuli, too much distraction, too much going on...

"Well, he's gotta be around here somewhere!" Jasper proposed. He was the newest member of the team, but he wasn't as dumb as he looked. He knew as well as anyone that ever since the love muffin debacle, Ray never left the Man Cave on his own without telling somebody first and that somebody was nearly always (y/n).

"Ray! Are you there?" "Raymond!" "Ray! Ray!" "Ray!" They all yelled as they searched the main room, (y/n) and Charlotte checking the narrow corridor behind the tube pads, Henry looking through the sprocket to see if he had somehow been in his and (y/n)'s bedroom all along and Jasper, well, he was less helpful. The kid was obviously trying to be useful, although no one was too sure about how useful looking under a bean bag was, still, at least they could rule it out. He wasn't anywhere to be seen, not in the corridors, not in any rooms, no signs whatsoever...apart from the massive one of him just strolling through the hidden door.

"Who wants a snackkk!?" Ray cheered happily as they all fell silent and he turned off the Doomsday Protocol, the group staring at his stupid, smiling face like he was an alien. He wasn't dead, he wasn't injured, broken or kidnapped, he was perfectly fine, standing there looking all handsome with one of his favourite Hawaiian shirts on, plus a red apron that really accentuated his waist. 

Oh. My. God. He was cooking, the entire damn time, he was swanning around in the kitchen, making them panic as he baked whatever was under his silver cloche and he didn't even bother to wake up his sweet girl to let her know. Asshole.

"W-wha-what?" (y/n) asked shakily, her eyes wide as she took him, still perfectly dressed as he had been when she was nodding off. Okay, sure, he had been a little slow to undress but she'd just assumed that he was right behind her and had fallen asleep assuming that at some point, that dumb, ridiculously tight shirt would be in the laundry basket and he would be pulling her to his chest. But no, he'd sloped off and left her dream alone, panic alone and now, he was offering her a late-night nibble. Was he for real?

"Who wants a snackkk!?" Ray repeated cheerfully, looking at his girl with his brightest smile since he had no clue that he'd done something wrong. Aw, she looked so pretty in the white, flowery set he'd bought for her when they went to the mall, he could see her little belly button poking out and those soft thighs that lived around his waist, not to mention the way the set was complemented by the gleaming ring on her finger. His sweet, sweet girl, so beautiful with her fluffy blanket...so cute. 

"Dude!" Henry said in an outraged tone. His boss had done some pretty stupid stuff in the time he'd known him, he'd called him in the middle of the night plenty of times before, but never for something that sounded like they were in real trouble and he'd never had the nerve to freak out his fiancée either. He should've expected it, boy who cried wolf and all that, but any time could be a real emergency and they couldn't take that chance, no matter how much he wanted to strangle that grin off his face.

"No worries, I've got this." (y/n) moved her hand to stop Henry from stepping forward, slightly nodding at Jasper and Charlotte to let them know that they didn't need to do anything either. She floated down the few steps that separated her and Ray, the blanket fluttering around her as she walked until she was in front of him, her face free from any of the anger and frustration that had hardened from her worry. "Hey!"

"Hey, sweet girl!" Ray replied with a bright smile, not picking up on the sharpness of her tone or the hard look in her eyes. He was just so happy to see her after cooking his little creations on his own for a few hours; sure, the temptation of going to bed and snuggling in with her had been alluring, but his recipe had been so close to perfection, he just had to sneak off to the kitchens to iron out the last few wrinkles. She'd been so tired and he'd barely been gone a few hours, so he hadn't seen the harm.

"It's ten past twelve...AM!" She told her, jerkily grabbing Charlotte's wrist so the girl could show him the time on her PearPhone, which proved that it was all way past their bedtimes. He didn't seem to think it was significant, though.

"Yeah! You look so pretty tonight, baby..." Ray nodded along with whatever she said, too focused on how her tousled hair framed her face and the diamonds on her finger caught his eye, turning his brain to mush. 

His hands moved to brush under the blanket and settle on her waist, a definite sign that he was gonna pull her in for a kiss. He looked so smitten, so in love that their protests were bouncing off him and not having any effect at all, so (y/n) did the unthinkable, the downright, never seen before, absolutely insane, one thing she never did to Ray Manchester. She didn't let him kiss her.

"Why'd you send us all the Doomsday Signal?" Charlotte asked haughtily as she retracted her phone from the woman's grip. Eek, Ray's smile dropped a smidge when his girl caught his hands and pushed them back to his sides, the only things that were allowed to settle on her hips being her own in a pose that told him she wanted an answer for all the heartache she'd experienced, all the terror and panic from waking up with his side of the bed cold. She didn't like it any more than he did, she loved his kisses, craved them after thinking he was gone, but she was taking a stand, plus, a little saltiness was expected.

"'Cause I wanted to make sure you guys came over." He answered in a slightly more serious tone than before now that he had no sweet girl to hold. Had he done something wrong? She'd never flat out refused like that, never pushed him away, even when the situation had been what you might call less than appropriate for heaving petting and he wondered what the big deal was. Had he done the unthinkable? Had he made a move that wasn't wanted and offended her? Oh god...

"Dude!" Henry exclaimed again, not believing that his boss had been so dumb and unthinking. This really took the biscuit, he'd never done something this reckless before, had never made them panic like that before and it was strange to see a man in so much bother yet so clueless. Come on, his touchy girlfriend had not let him touch her, didn't that give him a clue. "What?"

"Dude!" He tried again, changing his tone of voice so it was more like "come on, no one can be this stupid", rather than, "are you fucking serious?". No one was happy, Charlotte was glaring, Jasper was grumpy, (y/n) preferred to have the blanket around her than her doofus and he was frowning, but Ray was still an idiot. Not a doofus, not this time, he was being a straight-up idiot. "Pff-yeah?"

"Dude!" Henry growled it one last time, hoping that it was third time lucky and his friend would finally get the message that they were all pissed off. He'd screwed up, he was the one who should've written a note, or, y'know, not used the Doomsday Signal for such a trivial thing and this time, Ray didn't like his tone of voice. His smile dropped and he pointed his finger at him as if Henry was in the wrong. Fucking cheek of the guy. "Hey."

"You told us that the Doomsday Signal was only for a major crisis." Henry reminded him, remembering his exact words very specifically. It was one of those moments where Ray was waltzing around like a strutting peacock, way back when he and (y/n) weren't dating and he still had to explain the rules. He'd wanted to impress her by sounding all authoritative and crap, so he'd puffed out his chest and acted all tough to make her swoon. It had worked, she kept sighing dreamily whenever his back was turned and as such, Henry couldn't forget it, neither could Charlotte. "Yeah, a life or death situation."

"Well, you are gonna die," Ray told them, not meaning it literally, but then again, he'd always had a flair for dramatics. The teens and woman clutched their chests in panic when he said it in such a way that sounded serious, making them think that he wasn't joining, right up until he whipped off the cloche and revealed his culinary creation. "Until you try my new recipe for...Captain Corndogs!"

"Captain...Corndogs?" Henry reiterated as he looked at the tiny sausages, all rolled in cornmeal batter and deep-fried and he wondered why his thirteen-year-old self had taken this job. It wasn't worth the stress sometimes, it really wasn't and they all seethed silently as he grinned at his little dogs. He had been making them for years, proud to say that they were really great but never quite right, up until now and he was certain that they couldn't taste better. "Yeah!"

"So you called them all here, made me wake up alone, scared shitless that you'd been kidnapped or murdered, just because you wanted us to try your new Captain Corndogs, even though I hate corndogs with a burning passion?" (y/n) asked with her arms folded, her eyebrow raised to signify her disbelief. She didn't know what was worse, that he'd contacted the kids with the signal or left her for some corndogs, knowing that if she'd have known he was cooking, she would've stayed up to help, even though she'd rather not eat them.

"Uh, yeah...sweet girl." Ray nodded slowly, his Adam's apple bobbing when he swallowed nervously at the sight of her miffed body language. Okay, when she put it like that, it didn't sound like such a clever idea and his heart skipped when he realised how he'd made her panicked, stressed out a girl who never needed her nervous personality to be triggered more than it already was with the job she had and if it wasn't for the belief that she'd pull away again, he would've reached out to embrace her. The doofus had done it again, let her down...

"This is not a life or death situation!" Charlotte snapped and went to sit down at the computer since her tiredness was beginning to catch up with her now that the adrenaline was declining, Jasper getting the feeling too so he flopped down onto the bean bag. (y/n) perched herself on the back of the couch, trying to not wrinkle her nose at the smell of the corndogs since her doof had worked so hard to make them tasty and as much as she was annoyed, she had to admit that he looked cute, handsome, hot, literally the most attractive man she'd ever met. And the dumbest one, but whatever.

"Yeah, it is. Seriously. It is." Henry argued calmly, smiling at his friend like he was perfectly all right, not mad at all, which was surprising, considering that he was extra tired from fighting crime all day. He turned away from the girl to look at his boss and the calm washed away as soon as he saw that oblivious grin and it was replaced with fury...and the need for revenge. "...Because I'm gonna kill him!"

Henry tackled Ray's waist as the man stood next to his girlfriend, an attempt to soothe the sting on his soul when she pouted and stared at the floor, refusing to meet his gaze. He just wanted cuddles, but she was stubborn and not ready to cave in to her need for them too, and Henry filled the wait as he tried to wrestle his much heavier, much more experienced boss to the ground so he could beat him to death or something. Not sure what his plan was considering that Ray was indestructible, the man chuckling at his attempts as they shuffled across the floor, Henry's arms grappling for a grip that would bring his opponent down.

The problem, though, was that Ray wasn't some two-bit villain, he was a highly experienced superhero and he took the rough-and-tumble fight as laddish banter, so he soon got Henry in a headlock as he squirmed and struggled to hurt him. He tightened his hold by pulling his wrist with his free hand, trapping the blood rushing to the kid's head until the pressure became too much and he tapped out, knowing that Kid Danger still had a long way to go until he could best Captain Man. "Okay, please let me go."

"Sure! Right after you try one of my steaming hot Captain Corndogs!" Ray exclaimed, not releasing Henry, rather, he shuffled forward a bit until he could pluck one of the mini sausages from their holder and bring it to his lips. Now, Henry wasn't in the mood for a midnight snack, he just wanted to be able to breathe again, not that Ray would just give up like that. 

"What? No, I don't wanna try that. Seriously, dude, I already ate, guys, guys, help—okay, okay, I'll try it." The boy's protests died when he saw that resistance was futile. It was easier to just get it over and done with, eat one, say it nice and then go home for a few hours sleep, leaving Ray to make up/out with his girl, so he let the man stick the corndog in his mouth, a frown etched into his forehead.

"There you go. Be a good sidekick." Ray smirked when he finally took it and only then did he let go. With (y/n), Charlotte and Jasper watching on with curious, confused expressions, Henry yanked the sausage off its stick, chewing what he thought would be a normal, fairly tasting snack, but oh no, he was dead wrong. The flavour that exploded in his mouth was like nothing he'd ever tried before, salty but not too salty, greasy but not sickeningly so and goddamn, that sausage was good. It tasted like real meat, not factory-processed crap and he was in love, which was really annoying considering that he was trying to be mad. "...Okay, give me another one."

"Ahhhh?" Ray smirked at Henry's reaction, glancing at his fiancée since she was the one he wanted to be impressed and he'd taken his place beside her again in the hopes that he could get one of her pretty smiles, but no dice. (y/n) was impressed, deep down she'd found the tackle funny, his headlock even funnier with a hint of manliness and knowing that he could cook was a huge turn on, but her hardheaded, stupid inner voice said that they were angry and that they had every right to be...but damn, he sure was adorkable.

"Oh my god! Jasper, Charlotte, (y/n), you guys gotta try these!" Henry groaned as he picked up two more dogs and rapidly shoved bites of each into his mouth so that his tastebuds didn't have to wait long before they had the taste sensation again. He wasn't one for inflating Ray's ego because he knew that his head was already huge, but dammit, they were fucking delicious.

"Ugh, if I try one, can I go home?" Charlotte groaned, having the same philosophy that Henry did twenty seconds earlier. Eat one, get it done, go home, that's what he'd thought, but look where that had gotten him. She nor her tastebuds knew what they were in for.

"Sure." Ray couldn't stop smirking, their belief that he couldn't prove them wrong making him smug since he knew that his Captain Corndogs were amazing, he'd been perfecting them for years, all his hard work accumulating into this one moment where he could floor anyone who doubted his word. The only thing that did ruffle his arrogant confidence was a cheek pillowing against his arm, which made him tense up for a second when he realised that his sweet girl was resting her head against him. She wasn't trying one, she didn't like them and with each passing second, her eyelids were getting heavier and he was like her personal pillow...

"Fine. I'll take one." Charlotte conceded and stomped forward to take a dog. (y/n) was weak, she couldn't resist the man's charms, but she was strong and certain that this was just a sausage dipped in cornmeal batter and deep-fried, nothing special, nothing amazing—oh, sweet lord, they tasted great. Dang it, Henry was right, that smug bastard had won again, her mouth feeling like it was in heaven as it complimented the taste before she could stop it. "Wow!"

"Well, I gotta try me one of these—" Jasper exclaimed as he stood up from his bean bag, inspired by the overwhelmingly positive reactions from his friends and he was too curious to know if they were as good as they said they were. However, the moment his spine straightened, the supercomputer began to beep loudly and the monitor flashed up that they had an emergency call coming in, probably something serious given the late hour.

"Emergency call... Now?" Henry muttered as all the noise shocked (y/n) back to reality, her body jumping back into consciousness and her head shot up from Ray's arm as she tried to assess her surroundings. Ray's arm instinctively went around her back to make sure that she didn't lose her balance and fall off the back of the couch and the warmth that seeped from his arm brought her clarity back, as well as a blush when she realised that she'd been snoozing on him and hadn't even realised it. Whoops.

"Jeez, pretty rude to call us after midnight," Ray stated as he popped a gumball, (y/n) reluctantly letting her bare feet hit the floor so she could shuffle over to a drawer to find her spare one. Her normal one was in her bedroom or the bathroom or the moon or somewhere that she'd remember after sleeping, but Schwoz, the little angel, kept her spare just in case and she rooted around to grab it as Ray failed to understand the hypocrisy of what he'd just said.

"Yeah, who'd be rude enough to call someone after midnight?" Charlotte asked sarcastically glaring at her boss as (y/n) found the tube at the back of the drawer and threw her head back so she could start chewing. Ugh, she hoped this was a quick, simple job, nothing that required too much energy 'cause she didn't have a lot left. She just wanted to crawl into bed, hopefully with her doofus this time, who wasn't really the bad guy in her eyes anymore, just a big hunk of hot stupid.

"Nearly gave me a heart attack, doofus." She muttered as she dragged her feet back over to him with a grumpy face. She chewed slowly, scrunching her nose up as she came to stand in front of the man, whose eyes softened at the news of just how worried she'd been, but she was always moody when she was tired and the dopey, barely-there smile on her face told him that she wasn't angry, at least not enough to warrant her sleeping in her old room that night. 

"Okay, Miss Grouchy Pants, no Captain Corndogs for you," Ray told her as he booped her nose, watching as it twitched afterwards like a rabbit's and he felt the urge to yank her into his arms so he could smother her face with kisses, affectionate gestures that he still craved, though he wasn't sure if he was gonna be getting any until the morning.

"I mean, I don't like them, so I don't care. Give them to those weirdos." (y/n) gestured limply to Charlotte and Jasper, who were making grabby hands for more of the delicious snack, ignoring her half-assed insult. She didn't think they were weird, well, maybe a bit for liking corndogs, but as long as she didn't have to eat them, she didn't care, it was just her sleep deprivation running her mouth, not her brain.

"Someone's tired..." Ray chuckled as he led her over to an open space where they could transform into their super-suits without any interruptions. She whined at the jostling and how he was so right, of course, he was, he knew her better than she did sometimes and he'd dealt with her mouth on more than one occasion when she just so happened to be tired, but one thing did surprise him.

"Meanie." Just before they blew their bubbles she stretched her neck and stood on her tiptoes to press a clumsy kiss to his lips, well, her aim was slightly off so it was more the corner of his mouth, heading for his chin, but the thought was there. He smiled as she dumped the blanket, acting as though she hadn't just improved his night by about ten billion per cent when she put kisses back on the "okay list" and ended the dispute between them. The words would come later, but for now, they were good. Tired, but good.

"You two need to go...not...be here." (y/n) told the teens once she was snugly into her super suit, the new sensation sharpening her mind enough to get her head in the game, even if her words weren't quite ready for action yet. Midnight was such an ugly hour, one that she was normally in bed for.

"Ready?" Henry mumbled to the couple as Ray guided his sleepy girl over once the non-superheroes were safely out of the camera's view. They didn't want their identities to be revealed to whoever was calling and they straightened up as he hit the button, Ray's hand settled in the small of her back now that he knew that she didn't find his touch repulsive or harmful.

"Ah, thank goodness. My name is Jerome Sanchez and I'm the Director of the Swellview Museum of Stools and Jewels." A bald-headed, glasses-wearing man greeted the heroes as the call connected. Well, he certainly looked like a museum director, he had that kooky air about him that suggested he loved art and all things on-trend, not to mention the lump of something wedged under his arm. It looked like a rock, but they had no way of telling and they didn't focus on it, mainly because he worked in a really weird place.

"Stools and Jewels?" Henry repeated, having never heard of that particular museum before. He'd heard of the regular museum, had visited it plenty of times as a kid, but why stools? Why jewels? What made them so fascinating that an entire building was dedicated to them? Jewels he could understand, stool, however, not so much.

"Yeah, they got the best collection of—" Ray started to explain that they had some pretty valuable stuff in the place and him being the city's superhero, he knew all about it, but Mr Sanchez didn't care for explanations, he seemed to be a bit of a hurry and dared to interrupt the great Captain Man.

"Stools and Jewels, yeah. Look, I need to hire you guys." The man said, hugging the rock thing to his body even harder and (y/n) could tell that something was up with him. He seemed nervous, protective of whatever he was holding and it must've been important if he needed three superheroes to come along and be guardians.

"Hire us for what exactly?" She asked, pushing the need to sleep to the back of her mind. Superheroes don't need sleep, at least that's what she told herself, and her mind would be fine, no negative, long-term effects but it didn't make it any easier. Hopefully, the man would inspire some energy into her, maybe he could give her some of his excitable nerves to shake her awake as the warmth of Ray's back behind her was really starting to seep in...

"To protect this!" Jerome thrust the rock thing towards the camera and suddenly, everything made sense, well, it did for the heroine, not so much for Ray and Henry. They weren't particularly clued up on national treasures or scientific marvels, so they just saw a shiny lump of stone, unlike (y/n), who recognised the lustrous sheen as that hunk of diamond that had arrived in the city a while back and she guessed that its value made it a target. Hell, if she was evil, she'd want to get her hands on it, even if it was in the rough.

"What am I looking at? It's looking like a white rock? Some sort of ice? Rock?—" "What's that? A rock? That's what they call it, a white rock—" The boys didn't get it though, they just mumbled about what it could be, not what it actually was. Their guesses ranged from ice to the shitty gravel people laid in the driveways, not even getting close to the dense, highly prized carbon that the stone actually was, and it really pissed the director off. 

"GUYS! This is the Neal Diamond." He told them, jogging their dusty memories. Right, that was the name and clearly, it was much more valuable than stupid ice, which made the boy feel pretty stupid. "Ohhhhhhh."

"Numskulls, it's the largest uncut diamond in the world, how did you not recognise it?" (y/n) looked back at them, taking a chip off the director's frustration since she proved that one of them knew the importance of what he was holding, even if her friends were stupid. Ray and Henry stumbled for an answer, acting as though they knew that, they were just testing her and Jerome, not that it convinced anyone.

"Yes, Miss Danger. It's on loan to our museum this week and someone just broke in and tried to steal it! That's why the cops are here, right now!" Mr Sanchez said, the lines cracking through his forehead suggesting that he was highly stressed and for good reason. His stool/jewel museum would surely close down if the world's largest uncut diamond got nicked under his watch and people were already making attempts. The police presence was making him nervous too, it just proved that his prize was in danger and so was his job.

"Oh...okay." "So what do you want?" Ugh, idiots. Henry and Ray still weren't on the same page as the man, even though it was pretty obvious that he needed some superhero muscle to come and look after his diamond. Swellview police weren't exactly the most intimidating force in the world, in fact, the criminals scared them rather than the other way around, unlike Captain Man and his sidekicks who scared them shitless.

"To hire you, Miss Danger and Kid Danger to come guard this incredible diamond!" Jerome exclaimed, shaking the roc just to emphasise his point. Seriously, he couldn't make it any clearer and Ray didn't like his pushy attitude or his flair for drama that echoed his own.

"Pfft, this guy's so dramatic." He grumbled, ensuring that his voice was low enough for the computer not to pick it up, but his sidekicks could still hear him clearly. (y/n) shivered at his voice rumbling in her ear and vibrating against her back, but she saw a tad of irony in his words, knowing that he was literally the biggest drama queen in the world. A case of the pot calling the kettle black, as it were. 

"I know, I know. Look, sir, have you tried locking the museum at night?" Henry asked condescendingly. Wow, like they hadn't thought of that, the museum staff weren't stupid, of course, they locked it up, but it didn't do anything to help, as proven by the man who jumped through a window and tackled Jerome just as the Kid Danger finished speaking. It was quite horrific to see him scream, the three recoiling from the screen as they watched the brawl and the desperate attempts from the thief to claw the Neal Diamond away and they realised the severity of the situation as several burly police officers came to drag him away. Okay, he needed help.

"You see? Did you see that maniac trying to steal the Neal Diamond?" Mr Sanchez panted once he was free from the madman, his rock still safe in his hands. Honestly, he could've used it as a weapon, the thing was pretty heavy and diamond is incredibly sturdy, it's not like it would break. 

"All right, yeah, we get it, you're sitting ducks." (y/n) conceded. They were convinced that he was struggling and that his story about people trying to steal it was true, but he wasn't one there. He needed them in his museum for the last few hours of the diamond being in his life, then all his worries would be over. "Look, we're only gonna have the diamond here one more day, so will you come guard it, please?"

"Just a second..." Ray told him as he wanted to discuss it with his sidekicks before he made any decisions. He had to think about them too and he wasn't gonna stand in the museum all day away from his best friend and sweet girl, so he valued their options. What they wanted to do, he was gonna do, which luckily, just so happened to be what he was planning on doing anyway.

"All right, I've, uh, spoken with my sidekicks and we'll come guard the Neal Diamond..." Ray reported once he'd done some whispering with Henry and (y/n), although the couple hadn't really spoken about the rock, more like he'd just whispered that she looked hot and she called him a dork in return. She'd do whatever he was gonna do and Henry was up for protecting the guy since that was in their job descriptions, but Ray being Ray, he'd slipped a term into the contract, something that would really irk the director. "Oh, thank you—"

"...If! You let me bring a bunch of my Captain Corndogs..." He added, making Jerome's relieved smile drop. Ew, that was greasy finger food, snacks that would get oil and crumbs all over his displays, his jewels, his stools! And what was Captain Man gonna be doing in regards to keeping the diamond safe if he was handing out these gross sausages? It sounded a little counterproductive and he didn't like it. "But I don't think—"

"...Which are like regular corndogs but they're appetiser size and they taste way, way better." He finished, unable to stop the little brag nor the victorious little smirk that grew on his face when Henry quickly agreed that they were amazing. Jeez, stroking his ego was dangerous and it made (y/n) roll her eyes because they were just corndogs, gross, icky corndogs...

"That's a matter of opinion." She muttered, feeling Ray's thumb stroke along the covered skin on her waist. Fine, whatever, she could watch the diamond whilst he was off feeding the masses, no problem, as long as she got to snuggle into his chest that night, she wouldn't complain...too much.

"And you have to say that it's okay for me to pass out my Captain Corndogs to anyone who comes to the museum." Ray placed the term on the table, his negotiating face on with no humour or laughter in sight. A favour for a favour, it seemed fair, and it wasn't like the corndogs would do loads of damage so Mr Sanchez was inclined to agree, but he never got the chance to say anything.

Before his lips could move, another man swung through a window and tackled him, probably an accomplice or copycat of the earlier thief and the director screamed as his grubby mitts swiped for the diamond. The police were hot on his tail, yanking the man away like they expected more criminals to come and try their luck, not that it made the experience any less traumatic for Jerome.

"So, we got a deal?" Ray asked once the director was free again, tired and dishevelled, but he wasn't hurt and he still had his diamond tucked under his arm, so he'd come out the other side fairly okay if a little pissed. He wasn't happy about the food in the museum and the idea of scrubbing greasy fingerprints off everything and sweeping the crumbs from the floor, but they couldn't go on like this, they needed Captain Man; his hands were tied. 

"Yes. Deal." Mr Sanchez growled curly and switched off the camera on his end since the hardheaded hero had annoyed him. His stone would be safe though, Ray, (y/n) and Henry would make sure of that, no criminal would dare to touch it...now, wasn't it time for bed?

"Boom!" "Woo!"  "Tired..." The three heroes exclaimed as they turned off the computer and walked away, two feeling much more chirpy than the third. It was all right for them, they liked Captain Corndogs, poor (y/n) didn't and she just wanted to crawl off to bed, their energy tiring her out even more. It wasn't over though, sure, Ray helped her shuffle over with his arm propping her up, but their intentions made her groan because they meant an extra half an hour before Ray would go to bed and she wasn't sleeping without him, not this time.

"All right, let's snack on some Captain Corndogs—" Henry smiled at his boss, eager to chow down on more of the fantastic nibbles until he couldn't move. The sight of Ray cooing at his sleepy girl made him grin too, the sight giving him the relief that they weren't gonna be fighting tomorrow, which was way worse than any of the love-mush stuff he normally had to endure. Her head was on his arm, her eyes were drooping closed and any minute now, he was certain that he'd just pick her up bridal style and take her to bed after just a quick snack...Or not?

The boys stopped when they came to the couch, their happiness shrivelling up when they saw the devastatingly empty plate that was resting on Jasper's tummy. Clearly, he and Charlotte had been the ones chowing down, crumbs covering their mouths and the dead giveaway that was numerous sticks on the boy's face. The greedy, little...they hadn't saved them one, not a single, goddamn corndog. Typical.

"There was...nothing I could do," Charlotte told them as they stared angrily at her and Jasper, mainly the latter since he was the one with a dozen sticks laying around him, but then again, every cloud has a silver lining and it was way too late for Ray to make a fresh batch, so...

"Can we go to bed now?" (y/n) asked her fiancé sleepily, rubbing her nose into the silky fabric that stretched over his muscles and upon hearing the sleep in her voice, he didn't have the heart to say no. Henry definitely wanted more snacks, would probably get on his knees and beg for them, but just the way his sweet girl clung to him, whimpered when someone said something too loudly and swayed from side to side, made him decide; he could go make more or he could go to bed with an angel, and the second option sounded like heaven.

"Sure, sweet girl. Let's go get some sleep." He mumbled, doing exactly what Henry had predicted and throwing an arm under her legs so she could curl against him as he lifted her. He'd take care of her uniform and the kids could do what they liked, crashed in the Man Cave or go home, it didn't matter. He was off to bed with his sleepy girl and he was gonna make damn sure that this time, he'd be there when she woke up.

~The next day, in the museum~

Well, tomorrow certainly brought clarity and soft apologies as the sun rose over Mount Swellview. Whilst still wrapped up in their blankets and each other's arms, Ray had apologised to his sweet girl for making her worry and she'd said it didn't matter, not when she knew that he was safe. It was water under the bridge and they'd gotten a good night's sleep, so there was no point in holding onto a grudge, not when the soft touches turned sinful and gentle kisses became rough and passionate, leading to a morning that definitely made up for the stress in the early hours.

It had set them up for a good day, at least that's what it was shaping up to be. After one or maybe two extra hours in bed, the couple had stumbled to the kitchen, laughing and throwing flour as Ray whipped up a dozen batches of his Captain Corndogs, hot and fresh for the masses they'd be greeting at the museum and truthfully, Ray wondered why he hadn't just done the same the night before. 

Cooking was a lot more fun when she was around to give him kisses from her place on the kitchen island, the granite countertop giving her the height to kiss him easily when he stood in between her legs and told her how pretty she was, how he'd won the lottery, how he'd never expected to find someone like her to spend the rest of his life with. (y/n) giggled and blushed at that, saying that she felt the same way, had never thought she'd be engaged to the bravest, sexiest superhero in the world, let alone watching him prance around the kitchen in nothing but an apron and a pair of plaid pyjama pants. 

The bliss didn't last though. As nice as it was to dance around the island as the corndogs fried, they had places to be and people to meet, plus, Henry was on his way, which left them no choice but to bundle away their happiness until it was just another sweet memory tucked into their hearts. They could always cook again and it's not like Ray didn't sit and wait to be fed when (y/n) baked cookies, so it wasn't over, just temporarily on hold, as it should be.

The museum was busy, really fucking busy considering that it displayed jewels, a fairly interesting collection of antiques, and stools, a certainly boring hoard of old rubbish. Anyway, plenty of people meant Ray had plenty of targets and he'd given his sidekicks a side quest as they protected the diamond; hold a tray of dumb corndogs and see if they could con any of the mugs into eating one. He was proud, Henry was just happy that they were more to eat, but (y/n), she didn't give a toss, she just let people pluck one if they were hungry, she just cared about the diamond.

"Hey there," Ray smirked at a couple as they viewed a particularly dull stool, admiring how it had been finished with a dark resin stain over its grain and he selected them to be his next customers. They looked all lovey-dovey, similar to himself and (y/n) and as such, he figured that they'd want a little snack, something they could feed each other because that's what he'd want to do with his girl if she actually liked his pride and joy sausages. "So...like that antique stool, huh?"

"..." The couple said nothing, just smiled and nodded like their tongues were tired, something Ray wasn't used to. He was a chatty guy and often, everyone wanted to get a chance to talk with Captain Man, y'know, because he was awesome, but these two were giving him nothing. "...Well, I see you two aren't much for conversation, so why don't you try one of my Captain Corndogs? Go on, go on...speechless."

They seemed to like the snack, munched on them happily as he ranted on and on about how good they were, wiggling the plate so they could take more and hopefully tell their friends about how clever he was. For Schwoz, Jasper and Charlotte, who were still back at HQ, it was annoying to hear him bragging, but they had an important job to do, so they could ignore it. They were three extra pairs of eyes and ears, plus, they had technology on their side to tell the heroes if anyone flagged up on their database, something that was sorely needed in the bustling crowd.

"So, we're seeing a live feed of what Ray, (y/n) and Henry are seeing right now?" Charlotte asked as Schwoz twiddled the controls on the supercomputer, doing some wizardry that was beyond her. It was cool that they could see what the supers could see, even if it was a little awkward when Ray and (y/n) started kissing, which was a lot, very frequent, seriously, they never stopped doing it. 

"Yeah. See, I installed teeny, little cameras into their masks, right here between their eyebowels." Schwoz explained in his funny little accent, gesturing to the gap between his eyebrows where the cameras were. They weren't noticeable, but they were extremely high-tech, capable of scanning whoever the heroes talked to and identifying whether they were a threat or not, so it really was a win for Schwoz and his brain.

"Now, I can zoom in on this lady Ray is talking to..." The genius mumbled as the monitor focused on the smiling woman, who was only looking pleasant because it was polite. They could guarantee that their boss was boring the pants off her.

"And this controls the facial recognition?" Charlotte asked. She was a lot more interested than Jasper, who was only there because of how important the mission was and because the store upstairs was dead with no customers, he didn't really understand what they were on about. "Yeah, try it!"

"Okay..." The girl leaned forward and pressed a button, which started the process of their algorithm sweeping over the woman's features. It was just a small, biometric security scanner, nothing too heavy, nothing too complicated, just a system that analysed someone's face down to the last millimetre, from their eyelashes to their Cupid's bow, if it picked up a criminal similarity, they knew they had to alert their friends. But luckily for this woman, she was squeaky clean. "Lauren Fillmore, no criminal history. Whoa, that's really cool technology."

"Yeah, I know this," Schwoz smirked as he leaned back into the chair. Okay, just because he designed most of it, didn't mean he got all the credit. The teens knew that (y/n) would have something to do with it, whether it was doing the math or some engineering, she would've helped, but for now, they let Schwoz have his moment as they continued to scan the area. 

"Okay, Captain Corny, you're boring them, let them go." (y/n) smiled at her doofus as she caught him droning on and on about how he'd had to figure out the correct cornmeal to sausage ratio to get his flavour balance right, but no one cared, especially not the couple he was talking to. Yeah, the corndogs were good, but they just wanted to view the exhibits, not stand around learning how good quality meat counts for everything.

"Hey, babe, I'm not boring them, they're—hey, where'd they go?" Ray's face instantly brightened as he turned to see his girl walking over, her tray of Captain Corndogs half full. Oh, goodie, people were eating them, that was great, her pretty face was drawing in the people, he'd be famous before he knew it, but the minute his sight left them, the couple took their chance and scarpered. He didn't think his recipe was dull, although when he turned around, there was no sight of them, gone before they could take another dog. Dammit.

"Told you, no one wants to hear about your corndogs, sweetheart. Just let them eat." The woman told him as she stood on tiptoe to give him a quick peck, a sight that was lovely for the teens watching through their mask cameras. They juggled their trays as he pressed a kiss to her cheek too, his free arm settling around her waist as they bantered back and forth, a well-deserved break after guarding and corndogging for a couple of hours.

"But they taste so good, sweet girl. So damn good..." He smirked at her, brandishing the mini snacks in her face so she'd get a waft of their deep-fried, carnivalesque scent. She wrinkled her nose at his movements, fully aware that he was trying to entice her into trying one because that's what he'd done for years; even when they were "just friends" and the recipe still wasn't perfect, he'd wanted her to try one, see if her tastebuds had matured since the last time he'd made them, but every time, she said no.

"I don't like corndogs, captain. You can put them under my nose as much as you want, but I'm not gonna eat one." (y/n) told him and pushed the tray away, knowing for certain that the texture, the taste, everything about them didn't agree with her. If it was anything else, she'd eat it and tell him that he was a hot chef, but she'd been down this road before and it had resulted in her spitting the offending sausage into a trash can.

"Just try one, for meeee?" Ray fluttered his eyelashes like it would crack her resolve and picked one dog from the tray so she could take a nibble, not that she was going to...probably. Darn, he looked cute and that melted her heart, it really did, he didn't butter up anyone else, none of the girls walking around, not even the hot mom and her son that she'd seen, she was the only one he could focus on and that made her feel special and soft.

"Look, if I eat one, will you watch a movie with me tonight? A really, really cheesy one that I've been saving for something like this?" Oooh, that was a tricky one. When she said cheesy, she didn't just mean a bit cringey, she meant full-on, make him groan, roll his eyes and want to die, the ultimate form of torture because she'd force him to keep paying attention. No matter how much he let his hands roam, no matter how filthy his whispers got, if he agreed to watch it, he was in for the duration and would be quizzed afterwards. But, the bargain was fair...

"For you, sweet girl, I'll do anything," Ray smirked and offered her the Captain Corndog, which she reluctantly took between two fingers as she met his playful gaze. She didn't think he'd take the bait, but she couldn't go back on her word and not when he seemed to get so excited as she eyed up the appetiser. He looked at her with so much love, it was like he'd hit his head.

"Are you flirting with me, Captain Man?" She asked him in a teasing voice, just to drag out the wait a little longer, give her mouth a chance to build up to the assault it was about to take. She could do this, it was just food made by her loving fiancé, but any chance for flirtatious banter was something she'd take, after all, they always made the most of finally being in the know.

"Finally, you noticed! Y'know, I've been trying to get you to notice a guy like me for, oh, eleven years, so whaddya say we run off and get marr—" The hero's eyes were playful as he pretended like they were still their dumb, oblivious younger selves, completely clueless to the fact that they were both flirting and showing affection like they were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

He still found it crazy that they'd been like that for so long, had allowed their hearts to pine but never said anything when if they had just been honest, everything would've been great, perfect even. What was even crazier was that he'd been dating her for over a year and was now engaged to spend the rest of his life with her, so much had happened and he regretted none of it, not a bit, they were in a good place and on the right track...but what he did regret was allowing Schwoz to natter in his ear; "Ray!"

"Argh!" The hero shrieked, spooking his fiancée and everyone around him when he threw his tray up in the air and clutched his ear, the volume of the genius shouting practically shattering his eardrum. Forgetting their banter instantly, (y/n) swiftly put her hands on his cheeks and ignored the weird looks they were getting, more concerned with her doofus and how he was seemingly in pain, although a quick hiss to the earpiece gave her an answer. "Schwoz, you nub! You interrupted me when I was flirting Miss Danger into eating a Captain Corndog!"

"It nearly worked too." The woman smirked when she looked at the corndog that had been dropped on the floor in her panic, meaning she definitely wasn't gonna eat it now. At least Ray didn't have to watch the movie now, considering that her end of the bargain was terminated, but still, he wouldn't get a chance like that again, he was so damn close to seeing her eat both a corndog and her words. She tapped her earpiece once, opening up the comlink between her and the Man Cave so she could hear what was happening too, feeling as though this was important.

"Ray, (y/n)! Do you see that girl Henry's flirting with?" Charlotte asked them hurriedly once she'd gotten Schwoz out of the way. He was just slowing stuff down and they needed to relay the worrying information to the heroes about the chick who'd taken Henry's eye off the ball because she was bad news. Real bad news.

"Yeah, what about her?" Ray asked, noticing the girl quickly since she was quite pretty and wearing a vibrant yellow jacket. She was no patch on his sweet girl, but he could see why the kid had singled her out; she was a tad older, blonde, blue-eyed, attractive and clearly quite sweet judging by how she giggled at what he was saying, so it was hard to see why they were so impatient to tell them about her. She looked harmless, right?

"She's a jewel thief!" The teen exclaimed, making the couple instantly stop routing for her and Henry to get together. Okay, looks could be deceiving 'cause she just looked like a standard, cute citizen, not the one they were fighting against, but maybe that was the point. Blend in and sneak past in plain sight, because who'd suspect the pretty one?

"Come again?" (y/n) gasped as she left her tray on a stool, which was probably artistic sacrilege but she had bigger things to worry about. The stool could be sponged down, the Neal Diamond was the thing they were really bothered about and she was shocked that the girl, who looked around her age, was there to take it. They could've been friends, she looked nice enough, but not anymore, her crimes sullied her good looks.

"Her name's Heather Bogart. She's been in prison, like, six times for stealing super expensive, rare jewels!" Charlotte explained as she flicked her eyes down the woman's criminal profile. It was there, clear as day, she must have been either a genius or an idiot because she'd been caught so many times, always reverting to her ways after being released, so there was no way that she was just there to take in the atmosphere. She had diamond eyes, they just knew it and they had to save Henry from helping her straight to it.

"Got it. We'll handle Heather." Ray growled in response and the team back at base fell silent. He nodded at his sweet girl, who was already cracking her knuckles and preparing for a fight. There were no soft touches now, no gentle hand guiding her across the room, no kisses on the cheek, no bright smiles. No, now wasn't the time for tenderness, now was the time for action and they were storming towards Heather as she flirted with their friend.

"So, you, uh, you want another Captain Corndog?" Henry asked the girl as he wiggled his tray around to make the corndogs wobble and he loved how his newfound crush giggled in response. She was so cute and everyone loved Kid Danger, the mask shrouded his true age, so he could get away with flirting with an older girl and my, oh my, she was lovely and so gosh darn dreamy. 

"How could I not?" Heather smiled and took the corndog from Henry's fingers when he offered it, but she never got to taste its deliciousness because Ray wouldn't let his cooking be enjoyed by a piece of filth like her. Raising his laser control, he zapped at the corndog and turned it into cinder because he'd rather see it reduced to ash than know it gave a criminal a few seconds of pleasure. She was everything his Captain Corndogs stood against, she didn't deserve that goodness.

"Captain Man, Miss Danger, what are you doing?!" Henry gasped as he turned around to see his boss glaring at Heather and (y/n) roughly pulled him away so she couldn't trick him and Ray put his arm in front of both of them as he kept the laser concentrated on the thief. Their gazes were piercing as Henry stuttered and floundered for an explanation; he had been getting his game on, he never did that when they flirted, he'd brought them together and they were ruining his chances of finding love now. Talk about ungratefulness, they were acting like crazy people.

"Stopping a jewel thief before she strikes again!" Ray snarled as he kept his sidekicks away from the scumbag, apprehensive as to what she might pull, a weapon, a move, some kind of trickery that only a burglar would have and he wasn't going to let her hurt his friend or his sweet girl. She was sneaky, straight up, no matter how innocent her "shocked" face appeared and he wasn't about to underestimate her.

"What? Dude? She's not a jewel thief!" Henry protested, thinking that they must've made a mistake because pretty girls can do no wrong and he didn't find it particularly fair that Ray was stopping him from flirting because he never did that to him. He just mildly groaned and averted his eyes when his friends were making out or doing gross couple stuff, so he hated that they were being hypocritical now, but Heather wasn't so secretive.

"Yes, I am." She stated bluntly, her smile disappearing since she knew that she couldn't fool Captain Man or escape Miss Danger's angry eyes. She was proud of what she did, not so much her jail time, but she made no secret of her profession, she stole jewels, they knew it, she knew, end of story. Henry was just lying to himself, fooled by her pretty face and those soft, blonde curls, but they weren't stupid and neither was his crush. "I mean, jeez, man, you don't just shoot a miniature corndog out of a girl's hand!"

"You do if she'd a nasty jewel thief, which she is!" (y/n) spat, trying to keep Henry away from the girl as Ray shielded her smaller frame and kept them both safe, but the kid wasn't having it. Even though they had proof, actual physical records of Heather being in prison, he couldn't see that they were telling the truth. "No, she's not!"

"Yes, I am," Heather repeated as Henry pushed past his friends and gave her a charming smile. Come on, how dumb was he? The girl was literally confessing to her identity, clearly confident and calm even as she faced the heroes and that raised (y/n)'s eyebrow, her sensing that she was planning something, but she couldn't tell what. Girl to girl, she could tell that she was up to something, there was no way that she'd turn up on the last day of the diamond being shown and not cause a scene, but she was mysterious and careful, too experienced to show her hand prematurely, despite that being exactly what she was doing. Hmmm, she didn't care if they knew who she was, she was showing her face, a power move...curious. 

"No, you're n—I'm sorry, say what? Sorry, you're a-a?" Henry stumbled when her words finally sank in. If Heather admitted to it, then how could he tell his friends off? The cold, calculating expression on her face told him that they were right and she was evil, but he couldn't believe it. She found his jokes funny, she'd smiled and giggled and flirted back, she'd led him on and now he felt so stupid.

"Heather Bogart, master jewel thief. How you doin'?" Heather smirked and offered her hand out for Henry to shake as though it was an honour to have such a title attached to her name. She'd done all the big jobs, she wore the crown and she'd probably stolen that too, but her cockiness was irritating and (y/n) was far too protective of Henry to just let his heart be broken and do nothing.

"Not being funny, love, but you've been arrested how many times? Can't call yourself a master if you get caught, sorry." The woman hissed and folded her arms as Ray kept his laser trained on that dumb yellow jacket. He didn't know if it was set to stun or not, but if she made one wrong move, he was gonna fire, in fact, he was tempted to squeeze the button for the ugly stare she gave his girl after she sassed her so well. Bitch.

"But you're so pretty..." Henry whimpered, staring at the thief like he'd been lied to, despite a person's prettiness and their occupation not having any correlation. She wasn't a model or anything and whilst her face helped her blindside a few people, him included, it wasn't essential for robbing places. Either way, he was stung by love yet again and he cursed the minute he gave her the Captain Corndog, which he could've enjoyed, not her.

"Forget about her, kid. She's rotten fruit." Ray growled. He knew the pain of being disappointed, he'd been led on by many girls in the past too, but he also knew that Henry had his special someone out there and they'd come along in time, just like his soulmate had, and Heather wasn't his. She was pretty, yeah, that was a bonus, the real thing that mattered was how special a girl could be, her personality, something that Ray had fallen for more than any appearance and Henry would learn that eventually. Sure, it wasn't nice right now, but he'd get over it and he'd find someone so much better than this yellow streak of bitchiness, time was a great healer.

"What?" He rather frowned at the insult, although it didn't really matter. Ray was probably going for some elaborate metaphor on how Henry had thought she was sweet and ripe for the taking but when he checked her out thoroughly, she was decayed, gross and gonna poison him, but he was never very articulate. Oh, well, whatever, swiftly moving on, he tucked his laser away, certain that if she tried anything his indestructibility would keep him safe whilst he cuffed her. "Quiet! Now, I'm taking you back to jail."

"No, you're not!" Heather spat and slapped Ray across the face when he tried to grab her arm, making him squeak and (y/n) see red. Okay, who did this bitch think she was? Some kind of tough girl? Some kind of "on Wednesdays, we wear yellow" chick? No one hit her fiancé and got away with it, because she knew damn well that he was too much of a gentleman to fight back. She, on the other hand, had no problems fighting back, she could take on a floozy any day of the week.

"Don't hit my boyfriend, bitch, or you and that knock-off purse of yours will be sitting ass-first in that trash can over there." (y/n) said lowly, careful to keep the new development in her and Ray's relationship a secret since they felt like it was private right now and they wanted to settle in before the world knew about Captain Man and Miss Danger saving the date. She circled the girl so she could go toe-to-toe with her, both of them glaring and sizing the other up for a fight, but Heather wasn't about to make such a foolish move. She knew that fighting Miss Danger now could be very stupid and she was all about making goody-two-shoes like her cry in the dust as she walked away with riches and glory. Her time would come and it wasn't like she'd done anything wrong.

"I got out of jail six weeks ago and now, I'm a free citizen and look, bitch. Here's my ticket for this museum in my knock-off purse, which means I have as much right to walk around here as anyone." She smirked when she produced the strip of red paper that granted her access to the building, fully paid for most legitimately. Oh, Miss Danger wasn't so clever now as she, her dumb boyfriend and her unflirty foetus of a friend glanced at the ticket before realising that she was right. Score one for the thief.

"Valid ticket, M-D," Henry told the woman as she wrinkled her nose. The ticket was turned around to show the officially, shiny sticker that proved it was real, not some counterfeit printed bullshit that she'd created to sneak in. Dammit, she was intelligent and knew her rights; it was true, she'd served her time fair and square and until she did something illegal, they could detain her, not even under suspicion of being a sly bitch, so letting it go was really fucking irritating and just what Heather wanted.

"Well, you can't have any more of my Captain Corndogs! I can tell you that." Ray snapped and took away Henry's platter so he could monitor his sausages, one arm safely around (y/n)'s waist too, just in case she punched. His heating was still thudding from how she'd jumped to his rescue and how despite him not needing it, she showed him the same protection he did to her. He didn't care if he was still her boyfriend in their professional lives, that would be announced soon enough, right now, he was just happy knowing that Ray Manchester was the happiest man on earth. Yeah, he picked right, she was so darn gorgeous and completely his.

"Cool with me. Y'know, I don't care if I can—" Right, that was convincing. The minute Ray brought the corndogs over and Heather got a smell of them, her mouth dribbled and she lost her train of thought. Okay, she hated Captain Man, but she had to admit, she loved his corndogs and had genuinely loved them when she was tricking Kid Danger, so the thought of not getting any more was heartbreaking, something that was clear to their inventor. "Oh, really?"

But Heather wasn't dumb, that had already been established and they really should've expected her tricks. She leaned forward on Captain Man, (y/n) growling at the hand she laid on his shoulder and she acted as though she wanted a corndog so bad, she was passing out for one. Ray faltered for a minute, wondering if something was wrong when her eyes rolled backwards and slid shut, but once he'd let his guard down, it was too late. Heather snatched a Captain Corndog before anyone could blink and took a victorious bite out of it as she stepped back and admired their scowls. Seriously, it was like taking candy from a baby.

"You see, that, kid? You see what kind of a jerk she is?" The hero snapped at his sidekick, who had been foolish enough to be blinded by her good looks as if that had never worked on him before. One soldier down, murdered by that woman and her heinous need for his fantastic cooking and he wanted to be pissed off at someone, not that the person who deserved his anger was Henry.

"All right, all right...y'know, I can't believe you're a jewel thief. You told me you were an Olympic gymnast!" The boy exclaimed, revealing the extent that the woman had gone to trick him and make her life a bit easier or just more fun. She hadn't expected Captain Man to be fooled for long, she knew that she'd butt heads with Miss Danger, but it was all too easy to fool Kid Danger when she smiled and laughed at his crap jokes, he was just a gullible kid, who saw her face and not her skills. "Yeah, I lied."

"Oh, lying too, huh?" Ray scoffed as his sweet girl gave Henry what comfort she could - a quick pat on the shoulder and some soft words to tell him that she wasn't worth getting upset over. It was like Ray had thought, better people were in his future, a girl who deserved to hear his corny jokes, bright smile and the fluttering of his tummy, someone who didn't lie and treat his feelings so carelessly. She was still furious, though, she still thought Heather was a bitch, that hadn't changed.

"Whatever, Heather. If you wanna walk around this museum, fine. You wanna look at some stools and, or jewels, go for it. But don't even think about trying to steal the Neal Diamond." (y/n) warned the woman, glancing at the lump of carbon that was still safely inside its glass cabinet, well-protected by the security protocols and locks that had been installed. She could cut them down, break their hearts and slap a fiancé, but that lump of ice was staying put and it wasn't gonna be stolen on their watch. "I won't."

"Good." "Gooood." Ray and Henry nodded at her cool response, glad to know that she knew when she was beaten, but they were dealing with a master, an experienced pincher and she was fully aware of her skills. Heather felt like she could have three superheroes sniffing around and poking their noses into her business, but she could still pull it off. It would be the heist of the century, stealing the world's largest uncut diamond under their watch and she was just the person who could, especially against these idiots. "I'm just gonna do it."

"Fine." "Whatever." "Hang on a minute, what did you say?" This time, Ray, Henry and (y/n) weren't so quick to dismiss the girl and whatever she was saying. Did they hear her right? Did she just confess to thinking about stealing the diamond to their faces? Nah, that would be madness, surely not...

"I'm gonna steal the Neal Diamond before the museum closes tonight and there's not one thing any of you can do to stop me." Heather proclaimed with a condescending smirk and just to add insult to injury, she took another bite from her stolen Captain Corndog, something that hurt more than her dramatic exit, flare-kick included, could ever do. That really ground Ray's gears, not only knowing that she thought she was so smart and they were dumb, but she was celebrating her mini-win with one of his corndogs. What a cow.

"I really don't like her." (y/n) huffed as she walked away with a sway to her hips and the corndog in the air as if she was parading it around like some spoil of war. She had lots of reasons; first, she was a thief, duh, two, she'd hit her doofus, third, she'd tricked her doofus, fourth, she made her doofus out to be a doofus and only she was allowed to do that, fifth, she'd won that battle and sixth, she'd gotten a cool move in at the end before she could bite back with some sass. She had a lot more, but she had to stay calm, otherwise, she risked dragging her out by her hair and stamping on the bridge of her nose until she choked on her own blood. And that would stain her boots.

"I really wanted her to be a gymnast." Henry sniffed, feeling her level of emotion but for him, the fury had broken into pain and hurt. What a shame, she was so pretty, they could've been so right for each other and she threw it all away for a lump of millions of years old carbon, would it love her as much as he could've done? Nah... Henry deserved so much better.

~

So, what's the best way of guarding a diamond? Standing right next to it, of course. After Heather's proclamation that she was out to nab the Neal Diamond, Ray had made an executive decision, saying that he was relocating the distribution of Captain Corndogs to the space around the diamond, where it wouldn't leave their sight. He was stood on the right and (y/n) and Henry were on the left, two sidekicks equalling their boss.

Of course, it was a little sucky that with this plan, he had to be a whole metre away from his girl as she stood by Henry's side and not his, which left him glancing across to give her putty stares, but she just smiled and told him to give out his corndogs. Once they were gone, they could properly focus and it's not like Heather could sneak past without them noticing, yellow is the colour the eye sees the easiest, after all, so she stuck out like a sore thumb as she waltzed around, free to move and tease them as they stood guard. (y/n) wanted to stand next to her fiancé too, she'd love nothing more than to have him whisper in her ear and give him kisses at regular intervals, but they had a job to do and Miss Bogart herself was on the prowl. 

As she sauntered past, she made a faux-grab at the diamond, acting as though she was about to jump to grab it, and in doing so, she made them twitch into defensive positions to stop her. She played them so damn easily and cackled as walked away, loving how highly strung they were. This was too easy, they were getting too riled up and she was gonna make her move at any moment because they were watching so closely, knowing that she was gonna do something, but what? The first step to blinding someone is getting them to open their eyes...

They watched as she "admired" some jewels and stools, nothing grabbing her eye since it was all so boring and cheap, her real prize sitting behind glass. Ray and Henry slowly chewed their corndogs as they studied her every move, (y/n) still refusing to eat one, but then again, she wasn't sure if she could stomach it, and not just because of the taste. That bitch made her sick, thinking she was so much better than them.

"Ugh, look at her. What a bitch." She groaned as some unsuspecting, innocent dude caught her eye and began flirting with her. They couldn't tell what they were saying, but no doubt she was fooling the poor sucker and doing it to wind Henry up, flaunting that she rejected his advances after tricking him so cleverly. At least now that. They'd moved away from the cabinet to keep an eye on her, she could cosy up to Ray, but that was hardly the point...she was still gonna kiss him though, how could she not?

"Yeah. She makes me so—oh, oh, look at this guy. Probably gonna flirt with her like I did." Henry hissed when he saw the man smile politely at Heather and wait, oh come on, she was laughing at his jokes. He was older, not a bad-looker either, possibly more suited to her since they were a similar age, but he could've been a loser and Henry would still feel jealous. And it wasn't like he wanted to be, he wanted to hate her, he did, he strongly disliked her, but she was one who got away and laughed as she did, which just rubbed salt into his wounds. 

"Watch. Bet she's gonna tell him she's a gymnast too." Ray scoffed, backing his sidekick's anger all the way. He found that being honest with girls was the best way, well, that had worked with his girl. He'd just come straight out with it, didn't lie about his profession when they first met, he told her who he was the moment they swapped phone numbers, but then again, he had been hoping that Captain Man would impress her into loving Ray Manchester, which had sort of worked. (y/n) had always loved the real him more than any dazzling alter-egos. 

"Hey! Hey, yo! My man! Not a gymnast! So?" Well, that was subtle. Not wanting to see another guy fooled into a crush, Henry just straight-up called out to the man, pointed at heather and disputed everything she may or may not have said, not caring if he looked like a weirdo or not. (y/n) gave him a pointed look, fully aware that they were meant to be keeping a low, sophisticated profile since they didn't want to alert any incognito thieves to their presence or ruin their cool-cat reputation. Shouting just seemed so churlish, like they might as well have had "we catch thieves" written on their foreheads, ready for the burglars to trick them again.

"I might enter my Captain Corndogs recipe into a contest," Ray mentioned as he chewed and thought, a process that had sparked the birth of many of the world's greatest philosophies and cracked some of the hardest codes, but Ray's pondering never stretched that far, he just wanted to find fame written in the cornflour. (y/n) looked at him with an amused smile, shaking her head in amusement at how cute he was when he was proud, it almost made her want to try one, just to see if she could make him smile like that.

"What kind of contest would take tiny, deep-fried sausages on a stick?" She asked sceptically, acting as though she wasn't convinced, but deep down, she just wanted to keep seeing his happy, little face. Just because she wasn't a fan didn't mean she was gonna ruin his dreams, rather, she loved hearing about his dreams and ambitions, even if they were what some people might call simple.

"Y'know, like a—an appetiser recipe contest where the winner can win like a—like a boat or something cool. Like something you can impress your girlfriend with—" Ray theorised, dreaming up his ideal competition in his head. It would have to result in him winning, otherwise, what was the point? He'd need a cool prize too, 'cause again, there was no point winning for a voucher or coupon, he wanted to appear like a winner for his sweet girl so she'd swoon and look all hot on his shiny boat/ alternative prize. A boat would be nice though, a swimsuit, sunscreen making her glow, the light on her skin, oh, yeah, that was the dream.

"Okay, okay, hang on a second, I can't take this." Henry interrupted his fantasy as he continued to watch Heather flirt with that man, that poor, clueless man. She was touching his arm, flicking her hair about, throwing her head back to laugh at something that wasn't even that funny and he had to put a stop to it, for the greater good, not for himself, no way. That, and Ray could tell (y/n) about his contest but he didn't care, it was boring. No offence.

"Hey! Little shit..." (y/n) grumbled as the boy walked away with nothing further to say, leaving them speechless since he had just left when her doofus was talking about his big plans. Aw, his pouting face melted her heart and she'd do anything to make him smile again, something that he picked up on...

"I guess, no one likes my corndogs..." Ray laid it on thick, sniffling and fluttering his eyes like he was trying to flush away his tears, even though he didn't give a shit whether Henry went over to scold the thief or not, he just wanted to tempt his girl into sampling his mini sausages. Sure, it was sneaky and when his bottom lip trembled, it sealed the deal, (y/n) gasping softly when he lowered his face to stare at the floor and she couldn't bear to see him so downhearted after smiling for most of the afternoon. This was supposed to be a good day, not a crap one and if she had to push herself out there then she would.

"No, people like them, everyone's been saying they taste great. Don't cry, doofus...if I try one, will you feel better?" The woman scrambled to comfort him, not seeing the grin making his mouth wobble since she couldn't properly look at his face. Aw, she really was his sweet girl, so caring and it felt a bit mean to trick her like he was, but he'd never get a chance like this again and he'd been interrupted before so this was it, the final judge. With her approval, he really would have the balls to send it to a competition, because her opinion meant everything to him.

"Would you? For me?" He asked softly, looking down at her with an adorable face, childlike wonder emitting from every feature and she nodded slowly. It was good to try new things, right? And it was only small, nothing more than a mouthful, so it could be that bad and it was for her lover, the man who'd do anything for her, so she could eat the food he'd made to make him smile. No biggie.

"Yea, just one Captain Corndog, just this once." (y/n) nodded and took a deep breath as Ray passed her a stick, her brain telling her to run as if her cavewoman instincts had detected a food known to be bad and her body was rejecting it. Everyone else liked them so why wouldn't she? Ray's eyes were wide and hopeful as she slowly and reluctantly brought the sausage up to her mouth, the smell permeating up to her nose as she studied it. It looked...like a corndog, the food she avoided like the plague, but she wasn't going to judge it, it was just the outer layer, plus, Ray looked so cheerful now. Just one nibble, right on the end...

It tasted...not bad. True to her word, her teeth took the first two centimetres off of the corndog, slicing a chunk of battered sausage into her mouth, where it rested on her tongue for a minute. Okay, first impressions, she was getting that gross flavour of deep-fried, carnival crap and she thought for a second that her instincts were right, corndogs were no good. But then, as her teeth got into it, chewing it slowly and mellowing the flavour, it started to work, the sausage counteracting the batter in a complimentary way that wasn't the best thing she'd ever eaten, but at the same time, she could eat a few contently and not be sick, which was a huge step for her.

"Well? Pretty good, right?" Ray beamed as she went through the stages of analysis, each like a shadow passing over her face, from "ew" to "okay, this isn't so bad". She wasn't yacking or spitting it out, she wasn't smiling or raving either, but for the girl who'd swore she'd never eat a corndog until the day she died, he was happy. His sweet girl tolerated them and that was good enough.

"Eh, as a corndog hater, I can say that these are okay. You have earned this." She smiled in defeat as she got the rest of it over with and quickly ate the rest of the corndog, chewing quickly so she could give him her findings. And a kiss for surprising her. It was soft and gentle, a little longer than it should've been since they were meant to be watching out for jewel thieves but their eyes were closed as they got carried away. What was new? Oh, yeah, (y/n) was converted now, from a hater to a tolerator, that was something, but them kissing like they were the only ones in the room was not.

"Hey...Hey. Hey! Okay, please separate, you're grossing me out and making me feel lonely." Henry grimaced as he came back over from an unsuccessful attempt at luring the man away from Heather, who had been truthful for once and shockingly, he was okay with her criminal background. Bitch. What he didn't want to see after that romantic nosedive was his friend eating each other's faces, it was revolting and a staunch reminder that he was gonna die alone.

"Hey, what's your deal? Can't a man kiss his girlfriend?" Ray asked, frowning at Henry as he and his girl were forced to pull away, although she stayed in his embrace and refused to budge, not for love nor money. Come on, they'd been diligently standing by the rock for ages, not kissing, not holding hands, nothing and now that they could sneak a quick make out, he was bullying them. Dick, what had made him so touchy?

"You mean, fiancée?" (y/n) corrected him quietly, her eyes shining with happiness as the hand that would have the ring on it came up to brush down his cheek, making him grin too. Oh yeah, that. The proposal. The whole "rest of their lives together" thing, how could he forget? Well, it was pretty easy with her against his chest, one arm around her waist and the other still holding the corndog platter, but if that wasn't there, she'd be crushed in his hug, totally protected, totally loved by him as he basked in their promise.

"That thief, Heather, keeps saying she's gonna steal the diamond." Henry's statement broke them out of the loved-up haze and made their jaws clench. (y/n) angrily dropped her stick onto the plate and turned around to scowl at her again, her heart longing for more kisses, but a small corner of it longed for justice too and she knew her duty. Kisses were forever, a chance to kick that bitch's ass wasn't and there was no way that she was gonna let her get away with it.

"Oh, yeah? Well, good luck to her, 'cause I'm not taking my eyes off this baby!" Ray announced as they returned to the stations next to the exhibit, only this time, he was staring at it and not looking away. It was a tall order for him, paying attention to one thing for a long period, with his sweet girl so close too, and it was very difficult not to admire her instead, but he was gonna do it, nothing could break his resolve...nothing but a willing customer. 

"Hey, Captain Man, can I have a Captain Corndog?" A plucky young man asked tentatively as he approached the hero, pointing to his plate and try as he might, Ray couldn't ignore him. His public needed his delicious creations and he was only too happy to prove, much to (y/n) and Henry's frustration. 

"You sure can, buddy. In fact, thinking about entering the recipe in a contest. I like to make 'em wiggle like this, see that?" He smiled at the man as he jiggled the plate again, completely unfocused on the task they'd set out to do since the guy was stroking his ego and the diamond was just sitting there. What a doofus, things were already hectic and oh, look. Here came trouble...

"There they are! Hi Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger!" Oh, shit. It was Piper, sweet, little Piper, who through no fault of her own was adding more problems to their pile. They needed to focus, but here she was, bringing in the Man Fans and they were likely all really excited to see their favourite heroes out and about, stuff like that. It was the last thing they needed, a bunch of kids running around the place, but they couldn't be rude to their own fan club, the only thing they could do was smile, wave and be polite.

"Well, hello there!" "Hey, guys..." "Oh, hi..." They tried to be polite anyway. Henry felt a little awkward, he always did when his sister was around Kid Danger because of the risk that she might recognise him or his voice or his hair or something and then that would be the cherry on the already complicated cake, so he was quite timid. 

Ray was awkward too, finding their sudden, energetic appearance a little overwhelming since he knew about this brat and the shitstorm that often followed her and he had to remind himself not to mention the engagement, or god forbid, their secret would spread like wildfire before they'd had a chance to enjoy it. But (y/n), she was good, happy to see the girl since she knew that she loved them too much to get mean and well, having a fan club was always nice, but it seemed like that wasn't what they were there for. "Did we miss it?"

"Uh, miss—?" Henry frowned, wondering what his sister was on about since nothing had come and gone, or at least he hadn't seen anything. Good thing they had the sleuth known as Captain Man on the job, he always knew what was up. "Oh, must've heard about the Captain Corndogs..."

"Uh, you guys here about the corndogs?" (y/n) asked sceptically, aware that it was a bit far fetched to assume that the kids would trek halfway across town for a tidbit of a snack, but then again, this was the Man Fans they were dealing with, not some half-assed crew of delinquents. What Captain Man liked, they liked, what Captain Man said, they believed and if he was making corndogs, then they were gonna try them, that was the idea anyway.

"No! We're here to watch Heather Bogart try to steal the Neal Diamond!" Piper exclaimed in a voice that was way too happy for a theft. They were excited about a crime and they liked superheroes? Was that even allowed? That seemed so redundant and stupid, in more ways than one.

"Wait, wait, wait, how'd you know she's gonna try and steal it?" Henry asked since that was this thing that stood out to them. They had assumed that they were the only ones who knew about Heather's big plan, otherwise, security would've been tighter and they would have swarms of police officers circling the room with them, right? Ha, no, Swellview Police would never do any actual police work. Keep dreaming.

"She posted a video about it. Look." The girl said and swiped on her PearPad until she pulled up the right clip on the thief's Twitflash profile, which showed her directly next to the diamond's case, so close that her cheek was pressed against the cool glass. When did she do that and how? They had been so vigilant, well, apart from the kiss... "What's up?! I'm gonna steal the Neal Diamond!"

"Well, that was to the point." (y/n) remarked as they watched the three-second clip, but gave her message clearly. She must've been very sure of her skills to announce it to the world and it was annoying that they couldn't arrest her right now. It would've made sense, keep her under lock and key until the diamond was taken away and then, it wouldn't be their problem anymore, but there'd be the law to think about and her rights, so it wasn't worth it. Bitch.

"Hey, hey, look at that!" Charlotte nudged her companions as they sat in the Man Cave, watching carefully as Ray reassured his sidekicks that Heather was just playing mind games and they merely needed to focus. The girl was obviously paying attention to the monitors more than they were as she noticed something peculiar through (y/n)'s feed, something that seemed highly suspicious when she considered that Heather wasn't one for some casual chitchat.

"What? The screen?" Jasper asked as he swirled his soda. His brain had been idling for the last hour, nothing interesting happening to keep him sharp, but this would wake him up. Everything that thief did had some calculation behind it, she didn't do stuff for nothing, it was always either to cause pain, irritation or to aid her plan and this time, Charlotte suspected it was the latter. "Yeah, the screen."

"What do you see?" Schwoz asked as he ditched his popcorn bowl and sat up properly, zooming in on (y/n)'s mask cam so he could search for whatever Charlotte had noticed and then, he caught it, just as the heroine was no doubt giving her man goo-goo eyes. "Heather...talking to those photographers."

"Hey, look sharp, she's doing something." (y/n) muttered to the boys as Heather crossed the room like a model with a pipe up her butt, all snooty and full of herself, but her movement suggested action and they were unaware as to what their friends had spied in the background. They regrouped and formed a tight line across the cabinet so that no one could sneak past, but that was her plan at all.

Having received their instructions, Heather's bogus photographers shrugged on pairs of thick sunglasses and sprung their plan into action. Captain Man loves a photo op, he loved being the centre of attention and that's where they came in, to play on his weakness and strike him as he opened himself up, his sidekicks too. "Hey, guys. Can we get a couple of youfies?"

"Youfies?" Ray repeated, not sure what this new variety of selfie was since he was old and had better things to do with his life, like track down bad guys and fall deeper in love with his fiancée, but luckily, Henry was on hand to translate. "Pictures of us?"

"Yeah." The man grinned and that was all Ray need to hear. Pictures of him with his sweet girl and friend, all of them looking really cool? Yes please, he wanted that and as such, he immediately curled an arm around her waist to bi=ring her in, Henry rapidly standing by her side so they could get all their superheroness into one shot. A shot of coolness, a shot of heroism, a shot that wasn't what it seemed. Heather shrugged on her glasses too as they huddled in and showed off the Captain Corndogs, one, two, three and...disaster. 

"Argh!" The corndogs clattered to the floor as the flash went off, but it was no ordinary light. Everyone in the room who hadn't shielded their eyes felt their vision darker the moment the man pressed the button, which left them groaning and panting for air as they panicked. Hold up, they were blinking, their eyes were open but they couldn't see, everything was pitch black, literally one of the worst experiences a person could go through and it was happening to all of them, plus their heroes.

"My—My eyes, I can't see!" Henry exclaimed as his arms stretched out to feel around him, nudging into someone he assumed was (y/n), but had no way of telling. He was freaking out, she was freaking out, everyone was freaking out, well, everyone apart from Heather, who was perfectly fine, not blind at all. 

"Neither can I!" Ray yelped too as he stumbled around in the dark, trying to feel for his sweet girl, but he was just grabbing onto nothing since he was facing the room way. Oh, god, he couldn't see to protect her, he couldn't see to admire her face or her smile or anything, he was lost and for the first time, he had no idea what to do. Was it permanent? Please god, don't let it be permanent, he couldn't take not seeing her again, he couldn't bear the thought of getting so close to marrying her and having the sight of her in w bite dress taken away so cruelly, don't let it be forever. He could maybe deal with temporary, it was terrifying, but they could work something out, just not for the rest of their lives.

"Captain Man?! Where are you?" (y/n) screamed as she tried to blink it away, but it wouldn't work. Her stupid brain wasn't connecting the dots, she couldn't think of an explanation, all she could think about was finding Ray and not letting go. She took a few steps forward, grasping an arm that was soft, squishy and way too small to be her fiancé's, so she went in the opposite direction, assuming that the arm had belonged to Henry. Okay, he had been on the left of her, so go left, wherever left used to be, shit, was it that way? Or had she turned? Fuck...

"Over here, sweet girl. Over—gotcha!" Ray's hand waiter through the air as he looked for her too, their instincts aligning and telling them to latch onto the thing that kept them grounded in times of crisis and that so happened to be the other. His fingers brushed her face and halter a quick pat-down, he knew it was her; he knew that facial structure and those boobs anywhere, he'd found his girl. She grabbed his hand and held onto it as tightly as she could, scared that if they got separated, they'd never find each other again and she didn't like the sound of that. What was she gonna do if she never saw that dorky grin again? Would she never know the sight of him with a wedding band on his finger?

"What happened?" Henry asked as he continued to feel around, glad to know that the lovebirds were sticking together. This was bad, really, really bad, if they couldn't see, then the Neal Diamond was a sitting duck, ready for stealing and there was nothing they could do to stop it. That, and those two had waited way too long for their happily ever after and now, they'd never see it. 

"Oh, see, those photographers just blasted you and everyone in this room with hyper-gamma light, which means you won't be seeing anything for the next two hours." Heather spat as she looked at the struggling heroes and the idiots around the room, who had just so happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time. God, she felt powerful, she'd reduced Captain Man and his dumb sidekicks to uselessness and now, she could just walk around, steal what she wanted and make her exit as cooly and as easily as she needed it to be. Bitch.

Sauntering over, she brushed past the hero and Miss Danger, ensuring that her shoulder bashed into the woman so she'd stumble and trip in Captain Man's arms. Ha, hearing her squeak was so hilarious, and it was even funnier seeing her punch at the air to try and get revenge. They still couldn't see, so she got to work; crouching next to the diamond's cabinet, she fixed her device onto the granite pedestal and began to program it so the lock would open for her. She wasn't the kind to get her hands dirty.

"Oh, yeah? Heather, Miss Danger, Kid Danger and I might not be able to see, but we can still punch!" Ray growled, thinking that he could punch even with no sight. He'd been doing it for years and he'd often argued that he could fight with his eyes closed, however, no that they were testing his theory, it proved to be a bit trickier. His punch zipped past (y/n)'s face, catching her cheek ever so slightly, just enough to sting, but the poor sucker who took the brute of Captain Man's strength was Henry. Oops. 

"Hey, kid! Sweet girl! I think I hit Heather or maybe one of her photographers! Kid? Sweet girl?" Ray exclaimed happily when he felt his fist collide with a small face and for a Monet, it felt like it could've belonged to a horrible jewel thief, but when he got no reply from Henry, he started to panic. Okay, he could feel his girl, she was rubbing her cheek, don't know why and why did Henry sound like he was in pain? 

"You hit me!" Henry groaned as they all found each other again, (y/n) patting along the boy's tunic and rubbing at her doofus's face. Yeah, there was the mask, she'd know that jawline anywhere and she was definitely touching Henry. They were together, that was positive, Henry's face was bruised, not so positive, but at least they hadn't been separated, that was the main thing.

"Attention from Captain Man! I cannot see!" "We cannot see a damn thing!" Ray and (y/n) shouted to the panicking people around the room. It was so difficult to try and locate the bad guys because they were filtered through the crowd of innocent civilians, so every rustle, every murmur, it could be evil or it could be good, they had no way of knowing. They had to do something to protect these people and help themselves, separate the good and the bad.

"So, if you're not a criminal, please stand back, while Kid Danger, Miss Danger and I locate the perpetrators and then—" Ray yelled, coming up with a pretty good plan to fight the bad guys, but they were still at a disadvantage. They couldn't see the photographers sneaking up on them, they didn't see them cracking their knuckles and swinging their fists until they felt it. Hard. They hit the boys first, Ray falling against some stools as Henry was flipped onto his back painfully and (y/n) wondered what had happened when she heard the scuffle and felt their presence leaving her side.

"Guys, what's happened? I can just see two black blobs—oh, wait, I see a fuzzy grey blob too..." (y/n) gasped as her eyesight adjusted to something and suddenly, the pitch-black wasn't everything she could see. There were some very vague shapes covered in what looked like TV static, but it was a big improvement from what she'd been seeing for the last few minutes. Huh, her eyes were getting better, unlike Henry and Ray's.

"(y/n), your eyes will heal quicker, thanks to your super-regeneration!" Schwoz yelled in her ear as they watched in horror from the Man Cave and she winced at his volume. Seriously, she was already blind, she didn't need to be deaf as well, but that was good news. It was certainly getting better, the black fading to grey but it was still worrying, especially now that she got the sense that their energies were circling her and she didn't have her hero to shield her and she was scared of what was coming next. "Yeah, and how long before I can see properly again?"

"I don't—" "Oh my god, what's happening?!" Schwoz was cut off as a shrill voice came from the left, a voice belonging to Piper as she skidded back into the room. She'd been in the gift shop with her friends and had returned to see utter chaos; Captain Man and Kid Danger on the ground, Miss Danger looking petrified and all the museum-goers looking lost, what had she missed? Hey, at least she could see, no one else could...

"Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger can't see!" The guy who'd asked for a corndog earlier said, he too unable to see. Ray and Henry clambered to get up, not ready to give up yet and they had to stop Heather and her henchmen, even without their eyes. Failure wasn't an option and even though they didn't know how they were gonna do it, they were gonna stop her, possibly with Piper's help. "And Heather's trying to steal the diamond..."

"Oh my god, Captain Man! To your left!" Piper shrieked as she saw a photographer pick up a red metal stool, one that looked like it could do a lot of damage and pain, and raise it above his head, intent on using it to beat Captain Man, but Piper and her sweet, clear eyesight, gave him a much-needed heads up. Reacting instantly, Ray punched to the left, jabbing the guy in the stomach before he could fight back and roughly threw him across the room by rocking onto his back and throwing him over and onto his ass. Jeez, Piper was doing well and Heather was getting antsy...

Henry, however, was struggling; with no one to spot the criminals for him, every punch he threw was dodged by the bald-headed guy, who then cruelly gave him a blow in return and caused him to fall gain strength one of the displays. Whoops, there went some of those precious jewels and antique stools. The same could be said for (y/n), who hadn't known which way to turn when she heard the sound of hands hitting faces, although she was soon entangled in the fight too when Ray's opponent snuck around him and kicked him in his back. The hero tripped forward, losing his balance due to the shove and he slammed into a soft body and took it down the floor with him as she knocked into another display. 

"Ow..." (y/n) groaned as she felt all of her fiancé's six-foot frame land on her, not to mention the cut glass stone digging into her back from the rough landing and Ray instantly tried to roll off her when he realised what had happened. Y'know, he liked it when the universe threw him on top of her, he'd never complain, except for in circumstances such as this one, where he couldn't see her smile and all he could hear was her gasp of pain. And that wasn't the only problem going down.

"Kid Danger, he's right in front of you! Get him!" Piper yelled to her brother, thinking that he would be able to hit or punch or do something and the uh would go down, but there was a slight hitch. Henry jumped forward to take the guy to the floor in a brawl, not realising that there was a jewel-laden dummy in front of him, one that felt like a man when he hugged it, so it was no wonder that he was tricked into early success. "I got him! I go—" It was painful to watch, too painful for Schwoz, Jasper and Charlotte 

"Henry!" "Behind you!" Jasper and Schwoz yelled as they picked up on what Piper was doing and figured that it would make sense if they could give some warnings too and thank god they did. Henry picked up a stool and began swinging it wildly in the rough direction of the guy he was battling, guided by what they were telling him. Meanwhile, Ray and (y/n) had managed to get back on their feet and were sort of working together to fight the other photographer and despite whacking each other a few times, they were able to get in some good hits. Feeling a brush of air move past her, (y/n) swung when she knew that it wasn't her doofus and landed a pretty good backhander on the guy's cheek, which made him fall into Ray's hands. Goodie. "Yes, right there! Get him!"

With the three in the Man Cave blabbing in their ears, shit was getting pretty complicated and unable to see, it was unlikely that they were gonna be able to knock out the henchmen any time soon, no matter how hard they kept punching. One thing did stand out though, in all the time they'd been fighting, they hadn't heard a peep from Heather, not a word, not a menacing cackle, nothing, which begged the question, what was she doing?

"Kid, sweet girl, where's Heather?" Ray asked as he pulled back from pummelling the man's face, the thought striking him since they had all been so preoccupied. The diamond was the prize and they had no clue if it was safe or not or if Heather had already legged it. 

"How would we have that information?!" Henry hissed as he kept swinging the stool at nothing. Honestly, Ray didn't think sometimes, they were just as blind as him and it's not like they were playing Marco Polo with the woman. They were blind, right?

"Wait, hang on, looking for a yellow blob..." (y/n) said as she stepped away from the fight and turned to see if she could see any golden hints through the dreary grey. It wasn't definitely fading more quickly now and she could just about make out some shapes, possibly some movements, but Heather was crouched and the yellow was hard to find, which was infuriating for Piper to watch. 

"Miss Danger! Captain Man! Kid Danger! I'm right by Heather, follow my voice!" She screamed as she yanked the woman's hand away from her lock-cracking device and tried to be as clear as possible. Right, okay, they could do that, just locate the yellow blob through her bratty tone and then started hitting the blob. Easy, right?

"Huh?—Argh!" Ray moaned in pain when he too stopped fighting for a moment, wondering why everyone was talking about blobs and shouting and confusing his already overheated brain, which meant that he got in the way of Henry and his stool-swinging. The wood splintered against his body, crumbled into nothing more than a pile of matchsticks as it hit his rock-solid body and he stumbled back from the pain, causing Henry to cringe. "Sorry!"

"Get away from me, kid!" "Don't get loud with me!" Yeah, Heather had definitely met her match when she tried to swat Piper away, the girl fighting back with just as much attitude as she received. As long as she kept her occupied, that was good, fantastic even, and it gave the heroes a chance to fight back or at least try to.

"You're about to get hit!" Schwoz warned Henry after the kid threw some speedy punches, but without his eye coordination, his hyper-motility wasn't gonna help. The warning came too late, the kid had needed a good few seconds to react and duck, but Schwoz gave him one. A fist hit his nose and he collapsed onto the floor in agony, making Piper squeal in horror as Heather grinned. Bitch, bitch, bitch! 

Ray wasn't doing any better either; his guy snuck up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder in such a gentle manner that for a moment, his brain thought that it was his sweet girl. It wasn't though, she was honing in on the yellow and pink blobs, the tap turned into a kick when the guy scissored his legs and landed a blow on the hero's chest, causing him to fall back against a shelving unit that really hurt his spine.

"What the?! My stools and jewels! What's going on?!" Oh, great, that's the last thing needed, old egghead Sanchez coming in and adding to their problems. Couldn't he wait until after the fight was over?

"Ah, Mr Sanchez, please, we have everything under control, so if you would like to wait in the next room, we'd be much obliged..." (y/n) panted as she felt a rough pair of hands shove her to the floor, possibly close the director's feet, she wasn't sure, but he seemed to get the message either way. 

Jerome ran off screaming when Ray was hurled to the floor again, this time landing close to his girl again but not directly on top of her. The guy was glad of their proximity, not because of how cute they were when their hands brushed and they smiled happily, but because it meant he could whack two birds with one stool and he lifted the wood above his head to beat the dumb superhero and his even dumber girlfriend whilst they were still down. Piper couldn't take that though, not when Captain Man and Miss Danger were couple goals and clearly trying their best, so she decided to give the guy a taste of his own medicine.

Grabbing a larger, grey and teal fur stool, she slammed it onto the man's back just as he broke his on the couple, causing Ray to groan in both pain and anger. His sweet, sweet girl, he could hear her whimper as her skin healed the cuts and bruises and he swore that the moment he could see again, he'd take great delight in bloodying that asshole's face, but Piper wasn't done. She retained two of the stool's legs and promptly used them to beat the second photographer's back, which gave Kid Danger enough time to wriggle out of his clutches regain his strength.

"Heather's about to steal the diamond!" Oh, shit, why were things never simple? In all the confusion, Heather's little device had found its lock combination and with an imitation thumbprint, she unlocked the cabinet as if she had the authority to do so, causing the Man Cave team to freak out as the cabinet opened widely. She took out the rock like it mystified her and the superheroes pushed the henchmen away now that Piper had knocked them out cold.

"Ah, she's got the diamond!" Piper squealed too, seeing the horror of the woman taking the diamond from behind its glass casing, but she Wasn't ashamed, she wasn't bashful, she was proud to have proved everyone wrong as she cradled the rock like it was a newborn baby. "Told ya I'd steal it."

"Hey, hey, hey! I found one of the photographer's cameras!" Henry exclaimed as Piper dashed over to try and wrestle the rock away from the thief and he just so happened to feel something oddly camera-shaped as they tried to stand up. That shocked Heather, who didn't like the sound of her enemies gaining her technology and Charlotte saw the opportunity that had been literally placed into his hands. "Henry, quick! Turn right and push the button!"

"Okay!" He gasped and scrambled to his feet as Piper pressed Heather to the floor, making sure that she couldn't move until he'd done whatever he needed to do. This was their chance to level the playing field and Ray was getting antsy, (y/n) too as she squeezed her eyes shut and threw her elbow over her eyes. "Push the button, kid!"

Light filled the room again, although this time, no one had been wearing glasses. The light affected everyone who hadn't been shielding their eyes, Piper, the henchman and luckily, Heather. They all squealed as their pupils took in the extreme brightness before everything faded to black and judging by their screams, it sounded like it had worked.

"Kid, I think you did it!" (y/n) exclaimed as she removed her elbow from her face and squinted around the room, seeing two fuzzy blobs shuffling along a grey background. A hand dipped under her arm to pull her to her feet and she smiled at the thought of Heather having worse eyesight than her, but they weren't exactly ready to fight either. Just because she could see blobs didn't mean the boys could and now it was all of them in the same boat, all of them fumbling blindly. "What do we do now?"

"We gotta get the diamond from her!" Ray told them, knowing that once it was out of her hands, she'd never find it again, but the tricky thing would be doing just that. (y/n) would have to be their eyes, their very bad, blurry eyes and guide them over because Piper was now useless too and Heather, well, she was shuffling away to make her escape. "Good luck finding me!"

"Hey, the yellow blob is moving!" (y/n) yelled and pointed, not that pointing was very helpful. She latched onto Ray and Henry's hands and began to drag them across the room, aiming for that wobbling, fuzzy woman as she poorly navigated the displays and struggled to find the exit. The heroine had been hoping that the boys would help her balance she moved them but proved to be more difficult than she had first anticipated when they felt Piper and assumed that she was the one she was leading them to. "Hey, hey, I got her!"

"No, it's me!" The girl yelled and shoved away their hands so they could grab onto Miss Danger and again, her figuring that it would probably be best if got out of the way so there could be no mixups. Rolling her eyes, (y/n) held their hands again as they resumed the search, her seeing the yellow blob wave wildly as she felt around the displays for anything that would tell her where she was. 

"Marco!" "Polo!" Yeah, that game wasn't gonna work if the boys played it together and it wasn't like Heather was gonna answer back anyway. She stepped forward, hoping that she was near the door but she didn't account for all the smashed chunks of stool on the floor, so when she slipped, it was a dead giveaway.

"The blob is right in front of us!" (y/n) exclaimed as she saw yellow directly in front of her and she knew that they had found their criminal. Ray grabbed the woman as she tripped on the dummy from earlier and Henry joined the struggle too, fighting to restrain her left arm so she couldn't run away. The kid wrestled the diamond from her arm as (y/n) took ahold of her too, meaning that he smashed a few vases along the way, but he yanked it free anyway and she was left sobbing in the hands of justice.

"Did you get it?" Ray asked hopefully as he heard the brawl and felt his girl's warmth seep into his arm, but he couldn't be sure that they'd recovered what they were after. He had Heather, that was all he knew and whilst that was good, knowing that she'd be going to jail, the diamond was what they had been hired to protect. "I got it!"

"Nice job, kid! Just don't lose it!" (y/n) told him firmly as she grappled with the thief and tried to keep her under control, but help came at the very last minute. 

"There! That's Heather Bogart, arrest her!" Mr Sanchez commanded two police officers as he stormed into the room, having called the cops the minute he'd run to safety. Oh yeah, they showed up the minute the fighting was over, but at least they took Heather away, kicking and screaming as Henry held the diamond in his arms and Jerome watched in pride and horror. His displays were ruined, his artefacts were broken, but the diamond was safe, all thanks to the heroes, not that he was feel very grateful.

"This isn't over! I'll be back and I'll get that diamond!" Heather screeched as she was dragged away, but she wasn't very intimidating, in fact, Ray, (y/n) and Henry couldn't be less afraid. They smirked in entirely the wrong direction as she was led away and for them, it was a job well done.

"Yeah, you lost! Bye-Bye!" "Keep talking if it makes you feel better, bitch!" "Yeah, all right, have fun in jail! You are not a gymnast!" They laughed at her moody face and how she actually thought that she could take down the great Captain Man and his sidekicks. She had literally taken away their sight and she'd still lost, off to spend her seventh time in jail and hopefully, this time, they'd throw the damn key away, so they weren't too worried. What they should've been worried about were the numerous ruined treasures that were cracked and broken around the room, not to mention their distraught owner.

"Do you three realise what you've done?!" Mr Sanchez cried as he looked around at all of his destroyed jewels and stools and you'd think that they could hear how upset he was, but they had no way of telling and no idea at the chaos around the room. They didn't know that things were ruined, they had done their job, no one had stolen the diamond and no one had said anything about keeping other stuff safe. They should have read the small print.

"Yeah. We saved the Neal Diamond." Ray smirked and put his hands on his hips, something which would've had his girl cooing and sighing at how hot he looked, how authoritative, but she couldn't see so she just went off his voice, choosing to simp over that Neal Diamond just picture his handsome face. Yeah, that was a nice image.

"Here you go, man." Henry smiled at the wall and offered the Neal Diamond out for Jerome to take and put under lock and key again until it was time for it to be taken to the next museum, but he should've waited until the director gave him some confirmation on his hold. Henry let the highly precious diamond slip through his fingers, assuming that it would safely drop into the man's hands so he could deal with it, but he wasn't expecting the boy to give it to him so soon. Sanchez watched in horror as the largest uncut diamond in the world hit the floor and shattered into a million little diamonds, which was odd, considering that diamonds are supposed to be the strongest naturally occurring material.

"Come on, Kid Danger, Miss Danger, let's go," Ray smirked as he ignored the crashing sound, preferring to focus on going home so he could snuggle up into his bed, safe with his sweet girl, where they could wait for the effect of the hyper-gamma light to wear off and then relax together, maybe watch that crappy movie if it meant he could see her again. Damn, he missed seeing her, her beauty, her laughing, her eyes filled with love. The boys moved to leave, each assuming that the exit was on opposite sides of the room and so, they each bumped into (y/n) when they tried to walk blin, squishing the woman in a superhero sandwich. 

"Hey, watch it!" She scolded them as they recoiled from her body and mumbled apologies for bumping into her. Right, so they were completely disoriented and the director wasn't gonna help, so they had to make a decision, which way to go, left or right. Each had an exit if they remembered, an adjoining corridor that would lead them out of the building so Schwoz could come and pick them up, but which was the best way? "Come on. Grab on and let's go this way."

"You're the boss, sweet girl," Ray smirked when his girl called the shot, trusting her word since she was much smarter than him and prettier and hotter and whatever, she could see, he couldn't. Well, she could see some streaks of bright light and some fuzzy cubes, that was the extent of it, but it was better than nothing and, well, she was his weakness, therefore, she kinda was the boss.

The hero led the way, guiding them forward as they connected their hands in a chain and shuffled in the rough direction that (y/n) had suggested, straight forward...maybe. Mr Sanchez nearly had another heart attack as Ray collided with another exhibit, the only one left standing that was displaying a beautiful necklace and a few other jewels, all damaged as the plinth toppled over and he trod on them blindly.

They made it out eventually, an hour later and very confused when (y/n) finally cracked open her eyes to see clearly. Her doofus was looking straight past her at the wall and Henry was staring at a mop, mainly because they were in a janitor's closet and definitely not the lobby like that had expected to be, give her strength. It was a relief to see them again, she never realised how nice seeing the world was and she silently thanked her ability for healing since it was that which enabled her to safely guide them outside where Schwoz was sat in the Man Van with a huge scowl on his face. He wasn't happy about being dragged out of their home but he'd be branded a liar if he said he wasn't happy to see them, safe, sound and okay, for the most part. 

Any damage would heal and Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger would live to fight another day. And watch a crap romcom once they were home safe and it would make him want to tear his hair out, but it was all worth it. Anything was if it meant he got to see his fiancée smile and smile she would. How could she not when he was the one making her happy?

[scottguy]

Voting is about strategic thinking. It's a chess move. Thinking your single vote is going to make things in America perfect (Presidents can't really change much permanently because it's Congress that makes the laws.) is as naive as think you can checkmate your opponent with your single first move in chess. It's just not possible.

Republicans have gotten America to where we are now by years and years of strategic moves, spreading their twisted views, getting judges nominated. They were patient but dogged These things take time. Some liberals think we can revolutionize a long corrupt political system with a single president! That is just magical thinking by people who really don't understand how American government works.

We are NOT going to eliminate money in politics and corruption on both sides of the aisle with one single presidential vote. Once we get Democrats in Congress of some will be lobbied and bought. We have to figure out ways to fight that!

We could have been doing that from 2016 to 2020. But, instead we're stuck clawing our way back just to where we were.

We have to convince the middle-class public to stop believing Republican lies about "small government" in attack ads on Democrats when Republicans stand for nothing. We need a decades long campaign that THE RICH ARE the ENEMY. Liberals have not done as effective a job selling that crucial point.

It won't happen overnight. But change will happen if we teach everyone to get involved and to donate enough from the grassroots (just a little from hundreds of millions) to scare the crap out the politicians to resist lobbying or lose their nifty little jobs.

A presidential pick is not a magic bullet. A president could have the most LIBERAL policies in the world, it means nothing if he/she has NO SUPPORT in Congress.

A lot of people were unexcited about Biden. But he was picked (again, over Warren or Bernie) because he was ELECTABLE. Look at the amazing things he's done. He has supported unions. He's helped the economy. He's stood up for the middle class. (Yeah, screw him on Palestinians but, Trump would have been worse.)

This is our chance as liberals, Republicans MAY have gotten themselves to the point where they have lost SO MUCH credibility that the American kneejerk reaction to "throw the bums out" at the end of a relatively successful Democrat presidency is a bad idea.

We can't show what liberals can do if don't stay in office!

But, we won't get there... if you throw away your vote.

We will end up with a totalitarian government and you will risk being thrown into a concentration camp for simply speaking out against Trump. That's how totalitarian governments work.

Are you really willing to risk a totalitarian America for your pie-in-the-sky ideals? Because that's exactly what they are for the reasons explained here.

So, yes, voting is important but ONLY when a majority votes in the right direction. Third party voters are NEVER the majority. That is why they are "third party."

It is simply arrogant and unrealistic to think that your ONE MEASLY idealistic vote is going to be followed by millions of voters who have decided on the more mainstream candidate.

Your "protest" has consequence. Big f*cking consequences. Trump was a giant, democracy destroying consequence of prissy liberals who "didn't like" Hillary Clinton enough.

I wanted Bernie or Elizabeth Warren in 2016 and 2020. But, did I throw away my vote against Trump? No! I voted for neoliberal Hillary and for Biden because Trump was a disaster. But Trump won due to "protest" votes or "protest" refusal to vote.

Look what happened. That's where protest votes got us. Now half the electorate truly believes the 2020 election was stolen because no one has ever had the nerve to damage democracy that badly. Who knows HOW long it will take to undo that level of absurd distrust in an American electoral system that is more secure than ever due to paper ballots.

Protest voters let the perfect be the enemy of the decent and honest.

You'd rather bet American democracy ITSELF all on a impossible longshot even when losing means losing everything?

We're one election away from a totalitarian government and the permanent END of "the American experiment" in self governance if Trump wins.

Anyone who thinks "it can't happen here" truly does not understand that is ALREADY IS 'happening here'. We are on the verge of it.

Isn't an entirely corrupt Republican party, a grossly right-wing biased Supreme Court Judiciary and a candidate who already tried to overthrow an election once NOT PROOF ENOUGH?

If Republicans win they will control two and a half of our three branches of government, god help us. No one will be left with the power to stop them.

The words on our US Constitution only matter if those in power respect them. Trump taught us... you just don't have to. What are they gonna do? Impeach you? Hah! My Republican buddies will acquit me! You just have to be willing to be entirely evil. It's really not difficult. What is difficult is to be honest and good.

If Trump wins life in the United States is going to going to make Trump's first term look like a walk in the park. I, for one, would rather not be thrown into a concentration camp for doing what I'm doing right now, using my free speech to call out the dangers of the Republican party.

If Trump wins and I publish an essay like this.... I will soon be getting a knock at my door by a bunch of AR-15 carrying 'militia' in a large truck festooned with Trump flags that will "arrest" me. I will be thrown in with migrants and gays and trans people who are "a threat to America." Some will protest. Some will cheer. And 1/3 of Americans (the "independents" who "don't care about "politics") will just stand there watching.....

If Trump wins, believe me, you'll be too afraid for your own safety to worry about any "green" policies.

So, can you see how being too idealistic can backfire really badly? We have RECENT HISTORICAL PRECEDENT from 2016 to prove it!

Anyone who ignores that history to cling to their precious ultra liberalism is an idiot and a fool who doesn't even realize they are actively working against the very things they claim to want.

With Kamala/Walz going up DAILY, I've seen more people talking about voting third party/Jill Stein (EW) and I believe the above screencaps from @three--rings can explain WHY Third Party votes NEVER work NOR is this the election to screw around in.

Everyone....like she says above.....PLEASE LEARN FROM HISTORY!!!

(Because if Trump gets in, he's NEVER LEAVING).