#he makes me so sad. he tries so hard. he just wants to make them happy

[wellofdean]

tags via @ilarual: #literally this is the thing!!#Dean has not explicitly said the words ''please stop leaving''#but he has tried very hard through his actions to express that#AND!!!! CRUCIALLY!!! BECAUSE DEAN IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD VERBAL COMMUNICATOR!!#he has ALSO!!! verbally expressed his desire for Cas to stick around using OTHER words!!!#not as explicit as ''please stop leaving and stay with me'' but absolutely conveying the same sentiment#what the hell do you think ''we're stronger together'' and the whole ''cursed or not'' speech were about????#like Cas needs it to be more clear than that to Get It bc he does not understand how his constant absence HURTS#but Dean does not want to BE more explicit than he already is#bc he feels like he's been VERY direct on the subject already#he literally told Cas he needs him. TWICE. and has prayed that he needs him there with them at least once that I can recall#Dean thinks he's been EXTREMELY explicitly clear already!!!#and that Cas is constantly leaving bc despite hearing Dean's tacit request to stay Cas is REFUSING that request and doesn't WANT to stay#he keeps asking and getting rebuffed WHY would he be louder and needier about it when he thinks all it's going to get him#is the emotional equivalent of a slap to the face?#in no universe is Dean going to ask for something louder when from his POV he's already been begging for it and being refused like????#this is one of those cases where neither of them is actually doing anything wrong#Dean is communicating perfectly fine it's just Cas is autistic and missing some subtext#Cas isn't wrong for prioritizing his missions when he doesn't understand that Dean wants him there as much as he wants to be there#they're just talking past each other and a deeper conversation or two would fix this problem for them#they just don't realize that conversation is necessary#bc Dean thinks he's been heard and understood and Cas is politely declining his request for more time together#and Cas is unaware that that's something Dean has been asking for at varying volume levels for years#and instead bc of his trauma feels compelled to ''earn'' his place in the family with feats of strength so to speak#no one is at fault for their emotional needs not being met it's just a miscommunication#unfortunately the fandom focuses super hard on only one part of that equation and thus the takes on it are so often Bad™#and ignore Cas's motivations and role as a complex actor with his own trauma and emotional issues and blind spots#anyway they're losers I adore them both <3#spn

OMG thank you. NO ONE IS AT FAULT FOR THEIR EMOTIONAL NEEDS NOT BEING MET.

I love them both so much, and they are so fucking hapless about this one particular thing: they are in love and Chuck keeps fucking with them.

And you are so right, @ilaurel, that Cas's motivations and traumas and complexities are ignored by so much of the fandom. I, an inveterate Dean enjoyer, who thinks Dean is a darling who has never committed a wrong that couldn't be forgiven if he just makes his bewildered wet eyes sad face, cannot understand why we gotta PICK ONE? Like, can't an autistic trauma survivor who's just learning the ropes on this whole 'free will' thing, and who's in love with god's favourite boytoy make a mistake here and there? Can we just give him a fucking break because his heart is the right place? By which I mean in Dean's lap?? If Dean and Cas can forgive each other, can't we just let them both be beautiful fuck ups and love them both?

Personally, I forgive them both their trespasses and hope they get to make out forever in a million beautiful hereafters.

on a realer note i do think people forget that a huge part of the destiel equation is that cas won’t stay. like yeah we focus a lot on the fact that dean won’t ask him to, but cas never sticking around is a huge factor there

[jaredpadonlyyyy]

𝘿𝙊𝙂𝙂𝙔 𝙎𝙏𝙔𝙇𝙀 𝙄𝙉 𝙃𝙊𝙏𝙏𝙐𝘽

• 𝙎𝙈𝙐𝙏, 𝙎𝙈𝙐𝙏𝙏𝙔, 𝙉𝙊 𝙋𝙇𝙊𝙏

• 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙊𝙍𝙎 𝘿𝙉𝙄 𝙄 𝙒𝙄𝙇𝙇 𝘽𝙇𝙊𝘾𝙆 𝙔𝙊𝙐

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎: 𝙐𝙉𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀𝘾𝙏 𝙎𝙀𝙓 (𝘞𝘳𝘢𝘱 𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴) 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙏𝙔 𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙆, 𝙁𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙐𝙎𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙔/𝙉

𝙅𝙅. 𝙈𝘼𝙔𝘽𝘼𝙉𝙆 𝙭 𝙔/𝙉

It had been a few hours and you had gone inside the chateau, everyone else asleep inside and you saw JJ sitting outside in the hot tub he had gotten from the restitution money. You walked over and he looked up as he lets out smoke from the joint he was smoking. “Hey.” You greeted him softly as you took off your shorts and your shirt leaving you in your bikini and got inside sitting inside the warm water. “Sup.” JJ greeted you back. “Want some?” He asked you but you shook your head no. “I’m okay.” You said as he looked into your eyes. “Are you okay?” You couldn’t help but ask. Your heart hurt knowing that the bruises on his ribs were the cause of his father the piece of shit. You hated him so much for treating him that way. JJ’s jaw clenched as he looked at the water.

You moved closer to him. You reached over to his cheek making him look at him. “He’s a piece of shit, jayj.” You softly told him as he didn’t look into your eyes. You could see the sadness inside his beautiful ocean blue eyes. “I deserved the beating.” He said softly as you shook your head. “No you don’t, look at me JJ.” You told him but he couldn’t look at you as he was embarrassed. “Hey, hey, look at me.” You told him softly, and slowly his eyes found yours. You could tell how his ocean of blue eyes were watering and so full of sadness. You got even closer to the Maybank.

“You deserve to be loved, you have a good heart, JJ Maybank, you are nothing like your father. Nothing, do you understand me?” You Said softly but firmly. He just looked into your eyes, both not being able to look away. There’s always been an attraction between both of you, but not you or JJ had ever had it in the other to act on those feelings. You had loved JJ since you can remember. The first time you laid eyes on the beautiful blonde boy, it changed you for ever. He was your first friend, then it was John B and the three of you were an unstoppable force of trouble

He closed the space between the two of you and your lips touched. You didn’t push him away

The kiss started to slowly get heated, he wrapped his arms around your waist bringing you on to his lap as he slipped his tongue into your mouth making you softly moan. Both of his hands reached lower to your ass cheeks and grip them grinding you against his dick that’s getting hard. You slightly pulled away from the kiss breathing heavily. “Are you sure?” You asked him. The moment you both crossed the line. There was no going back. He smirked and leaned in to kiss you and then pulled back. “As sure as I’ll ever be in my life.” He told you making you smile and kissed him again. Reaching lower her moved your bikini to the side making you gasp against his lips as his fingers teased your entrance. “Fuck, JJ.” You groan.

With one push to his fingers, they entered inside your pussy walls. “Ah.” You moaned against his lips as your hands held onto both sides of his face. Both of you looking into each other’s eyes as he started to move them inside of you. You didn’t want to moan loud as you were both outside and the rest of your friends were inside sleeping and didn’t want to get caught. “You like that? Huh? You like getting fingered by me?” He softly whispered against your lips as you tried with everything inside of you not to moan loud.

His fingers touched your sweet spot over and over and you felt like you’re going to orgasm at any given moment. “JJ, I’m cumming, fuck.” You accidentally gasped loudly as he curled his fingers inside of you. “Aah!” Your legs wrapped around him started to shake as you grit your teeth trying to not moan to damn loud, but you couldn’t help it, it’s been a while.

JJ just watched you fall apart against his two fingers as your walls fluttered around them. He let you ride out your orgasm. He loved the way your hips started to roll against his hand as you started to moan softly against his ear making his dick twitch against his swim trunks. Finally you stop moving breathing hard as you laid your head on his shoulders with your eyes closed. He then slipped them out making you gasp.

“Turn around.” He whispered as you turned around as he lowered his swim trunks making his dick pop up. You backed up as he lined his cock in your hole and you slid down, your mouth dropping open as he filled you in. “Aah.” Your voice cracked as you let out a moan. “Fuck, you feel so tight.” JJ commented as his nails digs into the skin of your hips. After he filled you up. You stayed still breathing hard, your body was erupting in chills as you felt how long he was.

Putting your hands on his thighs, you slowly started going up and down. JJ helped you by holding your hips. “Fuck.” He cursed as he groaned feeling your walls clench around him. Since the water was making too much noise. He stood, him still inside of you and turned you around making you face the water as he adjusted his grip on your hips and started to thrust into you. “Oh, fuck, shit.” You moaned as you held onto the sides of the hot tub. Enjoying the sweet moans and grunts coming out of JJ’s mouth as he fucked you. “Faster, please.” You told the Maybank.

JJ started to pick up his pace making you gasp as he was hitting your sweet spot over and over again, you were trying to be quiet but it was becoming impossible as he felt so good inside of you, the way he was fucking your insides was driving you insane, that you started to shake as your second orgasm was making its way and fast. “Oh, JayJ!” You couldn’t help it and let out a whimper. Your walls clamps on his dick as you covered your mouth with your own hand letting out a loud moan as you orgasmed all over his cock. Your whole body shaking as he kept on thrusting trying to bring himself to his own high.

With that JJ pulled out quickly, turning you around and pumped his cock making you sit down as his whole body tensed. He lets out a grunt as his spilled his seed all over your chest. His head falling back in pure pleasure as his shots hit you. One last pump and he lifted his head to look down at you, his heart beating so fast. “Whew, that was. . .” JJ pulled up his shorts over his already softening dick and sat down on the other side of the hot tub looking at you with those beautiful ocean blue eyes you had fallen for.

You pulled your bikini bottom back to its place as you both sat in silence not knowing what to say.

You both crossed a line that was now uncrossable. But you don’t regret it one bit. You just wanted to know if he did regret crossing that line with you, one of his best friends. “It was a mistake, huh?” JJ asked before you could say anything. You stayed quiet for a moment before looking back at the guy. “Honestly, no.” You said as he looked at you. “Was it a mistake to you?” You asked him as he looked away from you.

“No.” He said looking back. You went over to him. Getting in between his legs as you softly placed your lips on his and he accepted them kissing you as well.

Hope you enjoy it! If you have any requests even if it’s not outer banks lmk!

[keepingitformyself]

older (and wiser): i

synopsis: in which time could have never undone what she left.

A/N: FIRST WANDA FIC!!! had this idea long ago when i was crushing hard on this girl from the theatre program at my uni; around that time i had also seen ‘past lives’ and i wanted to do something similar with that film. also at my core i know wanda maximoff would’ve totally been a theatre kid, this is me paying ode to that. while this specific part doesn’t go into that, i am gonna work on a sort of prequel to this Short Series…anyways enjoy!!!

pairings: wanda maximoff x reader

genre: angst?

warnings: it’s sad. but it gets hopeful…

MASTERLIST

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

it had been years.

wanda had finally decided to take a breather. she’d been working non-stop ever since she left for work all those years ago after college.

she didn’t think she’d get so lucky off that one job, that it’d immediately get her into another, or another, and so on and so forth.

she loved her work, sure, but now it was catching up to her. everyone in her life, her manager, her agent, her family had all begged her to slow down.

“take some time off, wanda.” her agent, daniel had said to her during a meeting. wanda’s eyes traveled between daniel and her manager, samara.

the meeting had all been a set up. what wanda thought was supposed to be a discussion on a new project, was actually a ploy. she had no idea the meeting was meant to convince her to take a break.

“yeah right.” she scoffed. not believing in what they were saying.

“we’re serious, wanda.” samara stated, her eyes stern but with genuine care. “when was the last time you had time for yourself?”

wanda remained silent at the words. all of a sudden she felt like a kid being scolded by their parents. and she wished to be anywhere else but in the room with them.

“really.” daniel starts. “go be a real person. smell the flowers, meet people, fall in love, take in the view—”

“i meet people all the time, daniel.” wanda quickly cut in.

all daniel could do was shake his head, a sigh escaping his lips as he tried his hardest to make the woman in front of him understand.

“you know that’s not what i meant, wanda.” he gives her a pointed look.

with a jaw clenched, she crossed her arms over her chest and looked off to the side. the windows overlooking los angeles now seeming more interesting than this conversation.

“we know how much it means for you to work, we know how much you enjoy it, but you’ve been doing it for so long. we just want you at your best.” she hears samara say. and as much as she hated to admit it, daniel and samara were right.

wanda hadn’t stopped working since she started. in fact, it’s all she can think to do. she didn’t have anyone outside of work—no partner, no obligations except to her family. why stop when there was nothing waiting for her?

wanda knew the answer but wouldn’t admit it. she might as well never have fully faced it.

the truth was, she’d loved someone once. she’d loved you. and no matter how much time had passed, the thought of you still gnawed at her.

though everything was perfect for a while, her career was well off, she was successful, and her family was proud.

but wanda couldn’t help asking, is this really it?

of course, she tried meeting people. she really tried. she didn't like being miserable over someone she hadn't been in contact with for years. but even that wasn't enough. it was honestly a bit pathetic. it had happened years ago. four years, to be exact. wanda should’ve been well moved on by now, but she isn’t. at least not entirely.

so, she poured everything into her work to distract her from that gnawing feeling inside her. the one that had been lit up all those years ago. the one that was tamable with you around.

but you’re not around, and wanda couldn’t help but throw herself into more work hoping she could get rid of it, get rid of you. but she hasn’t.

“listen, wanda,” daniel cuts her train of thought. “your work is important and people need it, but to keep it up to that degree, you need to go out and just be a human.” he finishes.

wanda sighs. she leans forward on her knees and drops her head into her hands. daniel was right. they were both so right.

wanda never properly dealt with things. maybe it's time she finally did.

she looks up from her hands, a look of defeat yet understanding, with pursed lips she finally says,

"fine."

and now, two months later, wanda finds herself back in los angeles, in an empty home, eating expensive sushi.

she had gotten off the phone with her brother, pietro, who had just joined her on the recent trip she’d been on.

a trip that he insisted he’d join her on to make sure wanda would do all the resting and touristy things she should.

she had done all the traveling she could do in the last two months, jumping from plane to plane. talking to strangers, being a tourist in european cities, and befriending random people in planes.

now, wanda actually had time for herself, time with her brain. a thing she honestly didn't want to face. because even thinking about anything made it even more real.

but now wanda was bored, and the movie playing on her eighty-inch television wasn't doing much to entertain her. and it also didn't help that it was eleven pm on a thursday night and all wanda could do was feel bad for herself.

so she does the next thing she had been really trying to avoid,

stalking your social media.

wanda herself wasn’t much active online these days. she had much to do day-to-day and week-to-week, rarely would she ever have the patience to sit down and scroll through her phone much. that and she honestly tried to stay off of it.

but now she has the time. and the patience. and honestly, she’s a little scared at what she could find.

she tells herself it doesn't have to mean anything. just a little check-in to see how you were, after that she'd really work on trying to forget about you altogether.

and with the simple type in of your name, wanda finds your instagram. your profile picture, a professional headshot of you, and a bio that reads,

editor in chief.

New York Times contributor.

something that shouldn't have made wanda's chest burst with joy, but it does. and as she scrolls further and further, she finds that you now reside in new york city, that you've moved on well without her and that you have a cat and a boyfriend.

boyfriend.

she shouldn't care so much, but she does.

you were living your best life. the one you had always wanted.

just not with her. not with wanda.

but she doesn't stop there, and she ignores the lump in her throat as she exits your profile and searches for your mother's name.

and maybe she feels her heart break a little when it turns out the boyfriend you had is actually your fiancé. she finds out through a photo your mother posted.

the picture shows you, and a handsome man next to you. you’re both sat outside some restaurant in the city, his arm is thrown over your shoulder while your right hand clutches his left, and there it is. in all its glory—with the diamond on it catching the suns light perfectly. the ring on your finger.

it doesn’t help that he looks so in love with you.

out for lunch with y/n and paul again! i promised them an engagement lunch and we were NOT disappointed. make sure you try Jack’s Wife Freda if you are ever in SoHo!!#motherinlaw #NYC #loveinnewyork

is what the caption reads.

wanda freezes at the fact and immediately throws her phone on the empty seat beside her. she stares at it like it had just offended her.

many things go through her brain. how did you meet him? was it shortly after you broke up? was it really him you wanted to spend forever with? how long did it take for him to ask?

wanda had always loved your mother. a sweet woman who always had your best interests in mind. she had always pushed you to do what you loved. and wanda had always seen that some of her favorite traits of yours had come from her.

after the break up, your mom made sure to check in on wanda. without you ever knowing, wanda and your mom kept in touch, until eventually wanda had cut her line for the sake of fully moving on.

though, she never really fully did.

wanda evaluates what to do next. was this her sign? she doesn’t want it to be sign.

wanda doesn’t want to admit that it seems like you had moved on so completely.

on impulse she looks up your fiancé’s name. “paul” is all she had to type out in your mother’s following before she found his account.

she finds that paul is just as successful as you are. he’s an investigative journalist, born in ireland. he briefly worked at a publication in london but transferred to a firm in new york after a year.

he’s gorgeous, she thinks. he has blue eyes, a kind smile, and he has an accent. it would make perfectly good sense why you would choose him.

wanda’s stomach twists with a mix of happiness and regret.

“fuck!” She whispers to herself.

“of course, you’re happy. of course the man you’re engaged with is actually a decent man! fuck.” wanda says to no one in particular. in frustration, she burries her hands in her hair.

wanda is annoyed at herself.

“i need a drink,” in an instant she’s on her legs making her way to the kitchen. she finds a bottle of wine that has been kept cool in the fridge and she wastes no time in popping it open, she pauses briefly, debating on whether she’d need or glass or not.

to hell with a glass. she thinks, and makes her way back to the couch, she holds the bottle by its neck and takes a long swig from it.

it’s all so perfectly miserable. wanda maximoff stalking her ex-girlfriend on social media while she gets wasted. the self loathing has got the best of her. she finds it all ironic.

wanda maximoff could have anyone she wanted. she knew this. she has everything she could ever want or need. she has credibility, a nice home, the luxury of traveling at any moment she wants.

yet, her mind kept coming back to one thing. the one thing she’d decided she’d leave behind all those years ago. it isn’t fair, she thinks. wanda was young and stupid back then, but she was so so in love. she knew that for sure.

but sometimes…sometimes she really wishes she had fought harder.

briefly, wanda wonders if your number was still the same. if you had ever changed it or at least tried calling her. she wouldn’t know, she had changed it years ago once she started getting more attention for her work.

wanda was really drunk at this point. her better judgment had gone away as soon as she’d picked that bottle out the fridge. there was no better time than now.

she taps on her phone until she lands on the number keypad. her fingers hover over it, would she regret it if she didn’t? probably. would she regret it if she did? probably.

but if there was one thing wanda had, it’s that she’s got nerve and audacity.

so she types in the number that she doesn’t think she could ever forget, and lets it ring.

your fiancé answers the call.

“hello?” an irish accent sounds through the speaker. paul. wanda’s blood runs cold and she stays silent for a moment. all of sudden she feels incredibly sober and regretting making the call.

“hi.” she pauses. “uhm, i’m looking for y/n?” wanda manages to squeak out.

“right! who is this? your number isn’t saved.” paul says,

“an old friend. i changed my number a while back.” wanda replies smoothly.

“oh! let me pass her to you, she’s just in the kitchen.” the line goes quiet for a few moments, and she’s able to hear a few words exchanged between you and paul.

“hello?”

wanda freezes again, a hand covers her mouth as she tries not to shake at the sound of your voice. it’d been so long. she grips her phone tighter.

“hey…” her voice shaky and unmistakable. you know it’s wanda.

“wanda?” your voice betrayed the surprise you felt. from the couch paul caught your eye, a raised eyebrow on his face. everything okay? he mouthed.

you shook your head.

“i wondered if your number was still the same.” wanda says after a moment. her tone light, but with an undercurrent of something else.

your mind raced. why was she calling you? why now? your fiance was in the other room, you were getting married soon. you’d built a life perfectly fine without her in it. so why was she calling you now?

“how have you been?” her voice cuts through the line again. wanda holds the phone close to her ear, wanting to make sure she could hear every word you say.

and all you can think of is how confused you were.

“i- i’m fine. i’m good. yeah.”

“that’s good—”

“i’m sorry, uh…why are you calling?” you find yourself cutting her off. your fingers press against your forehead in act of trying to understand what was happening.

wanda pauses. she realizes just how impulsive this whole thing was. she’s on the phone with her ex of four years, while your fiancé was probably in the other room. she goes silent again. her words have to be carefully measured.

she gulps,

“uhm…i just—i just wanted to know how you were. heard you’re based in new york now...so…” wanda trails off. you don’t miss the tone in her voice as she says those words. the familiar rasp, the lowness of her voice, she’d used it many times on you when she wanted something.

you close your eyes with a sigh, “yeah. yeah, i live in new york now, engaged and everything.”

wanda smiles through the phone, her eyes almost prick with tears at the corners.

“i saw," she says just above a whisper. "congratulations, you…you’ve always wanted that.” and she means it. she knows better than anyone how much you’ve wanted this.

suddenly a wave of nostalgia hits you, and you’re brought back to when you were both in college. so young, so dumb, but god, it was one of the best times of your life. you try not to let it affect you, how much this call seems to be doing for you. you haven’t yet figured out if it’s a good or bad thing.

“thank you." your voice softens. "how have you been?” you find yourself asking her next.

wanda smiles at your question, “life has been…insane, you know?” she pauses on the line. “still missing some pieces, but overall i’m doing well,” you pretend not to hear the sudden shift in her voice when she said that.

you exhaled quietly, unsure of what to say. the air between you felt charged with unspoken words, old memories stirring to the surface.

“can i see you?” she asks, her tone hesitant. “catch up in person? i’d really like to see you.”

with your bottom lip between your teeth, you contemplate your next words. paul notices your tick from the other his seat on the couch, despite you telling him it was okay he couldn’t help but worry. he’d heard enough of the call to know something was wrong. still he knows you had it down, so he waits until you need him.

you struggle to find your words for a moment, the question being so…why?

“oh, wanda, i don’t know if—”

but wanda ever the stubborn woman she is, doesn’t relent.

“please. Just for some coffee and conversation.”

your mind is torn between keeping your peace or taking wanda up on her offer. but you were curious.

with a sigh you finally decide.

“where and when?”

you can hear wanda’s smile through the phone,

“i can fly to new york anytime you’re free. you can pick a spot and i’ll be there.”

you think for a few moments.

“okay, meet at caffe reggio in greenwich.”

wanda’s heart stutters, something she hadn’t felt in a while. her eyes flutter closed, she breathes in— out. her eyes open again. and though you can’t see it, there’s a new look in her eyes.

“i’ll be there.”

[burningembers91]

Outside Looking In - Nam-Gyu x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Nam-Gyu has always been an outsider, watching as everyone passes him by. He spends his days trying to make a name for himself, and trying to show the beautiful hostess with a broken heart that he'd love her until the end of time, if only she would let him.

A/N: Based off of this ask. I wanted to say a HUGE thank you the anon who asked that I write for Nam-Gyu. I didn't really like his character in Squid Game, but I am SO happy with how this turned out. I wasn't planning on writing this so quickly, but the ask gave me such a good idea, I couldn't resist. Thank you, Anon. I hope you enjoy!

Park Nam-Gyu had spent his entire life desperately waiting to be noticed. Waiting to be noticed by his parents, his siblings, his class mates, employers, and women. But no matter how hard he tried he always just seemed to be on the edge of everyone’s periphery. He tried to be bolder, louder, a little more cocky; he’d met so many people like that who commanded attention, so he couldn’t understand why it didn’t work for him.

He'd taken a job as a Club Promoter to meet girls, but also on the hope that people would want to hang out with him, even if was just for discounted or free bar entry. He would spend all week advertising clubs and bars on Instagram, promising his old classmates he would be able to get them tickets for the hottest places in town, even the ones that were exclusively guest list only. It had worked for a while, and Nam-Gyu found himself basking in the popularity he’d always craved. But people were fickle, and once they got what they wanted, they soon left. There were hundreds of club promoters in the city, and most of them had better connections that he did. He never gave up though, spending each weekend following the crowds of drinkers that flooded through Seoul. He never quite managed to attract enough attention though, left to stand on the pavement clutching his leaflets as everyone passed him by.

Nam-Gyu knew he should throw the towel in. He didn’t make any money as a club promoter, still living in the tiny box room at his mum and dad’s house. He should really focus on a proper job, something in insurance or accounting; but then he really would be a nobody. Just another faceless ghost in a suit, robotically moving through life. He knew he was destined for greater things, if only he could just be noticed.

You were the other reason he didn’t want to quit the job that made him no money. You, the beautiful hostess, whose job it was to entertain the richer clientele who frequented the bars he promoted. Night after night you would bend to every will and demand of drunk men, smiling politely as they groped you, called you hideous names and tried to force themselves on you. You were tired of this life, tired of being nothing more than a pretty girl in a tight dress and pair of heels whose name no one bothered to learn. Except for Nam-Gyu; he knew your name; he saw the sadness harboured in your eyes. He watched as you stood in all kinds of weather, smiling and greeting people through gritted teeth. You were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and he was so madly, so deeply in love with you. He could try and bullshit the drinkers with his false bravado, but he could never fool you. “What are you doing after work?” he asked you one night as you stood shivering on the pavement, savouring the last fewminutes of your break. “I’m going home,” you sighed, “I finish at 3am.” “Maybe I could walk you home,” he offered, taking in the goosebumps that littered your delicate skin. You shouldn’t be standing out here freezing. You should be inside, curled by a fire with someone who doted on you, cared for you. Nam-Gyu wished he could be that person. “I’m getting a taxi,” you told him. “Thanks though.”

You’d noticed Nam-Gyu plenty of times. He’d been working as a club promoter for as long as you’d been working as a hostess. He’d always seemed sweet, but he tried so hard to impress people who didn’t deserve his attention. He always looked out for you, keeping you company on quieter nights, buying you dinner if your tips didn’t cover your meal. You doubted he made much money either, but he always made sure you didn’t go hungry. He made you laugh, and when it was just the two of you, he was so different to the brash, cocky persona he adopted when he was working. You wondered why he felt the need to act like someone he wasn’t.  You wished you had his never-ending enthusiasm, his ability to keep a smile plastered to his face no matter what. People spoke to him like shit, and yet he never let it phase him. You on the other hand, you were finding it harder and harder to deal with the men who grabbed at you and treated you like a life-size Barbie doll, simply there for their amusement. Your dream was to become a florist, to open your own shop. But dreams required money, and you spent all yours just trying to get by each month. You knew how much Nam-Gyu cared for you, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him he was wasting his time. You were damaged goods, too broken to ever love again.

Nam-Gyu wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting outside for when he saw you. It was raining, a constant drizzle that soaked through his shirt and jeans, plastering his hair to his cheeks. He’d tried to gain entry to the very bar he’d been promoting, but the bouncer wouldn’t admit him. “We’re full,” he was told, despite the constant stream of patrons entering. He didn’t want to go home though, didn’t want to face his parents to whom he was a constant source of disappointment. So, he sat in the rain, waiting for you to show up on your break. This time however, you weren’t alone. There was a man with you, his hands round your waist. You were pushing him away, but he’d just grab you again, clearly unfazed or unaware that you weren’t interested in his advances. “Please stop,” you snapped, pulling your arm away as he tried to plant a sloppy kiss on your lips. “Seriously, fuck off!” “Hey!” Nam-Gyu stood up, marching over to where you stood, his fists balled. “Leave her alone! She said she’s not interested.” He couldn’t make out the man’s response; the guy was too drunk to form words coherently, but apparently not to drunk to harass you. “It’s fine, honestly,” you told him, “I’m used to it. My manager has called him a cab, he’ll be gone soon.” But your eyes were so sad, your mouth trembling as you held back tears. Nam-Gyu wished he could take the sadness away from you, wished he could see a smile light up your face.

He waited for you until the bar closed, just in case anyone else tried to take advantage of you. “Why are you still here?” you sighed, pitying the rain-soaked man who never gave up on you. “I wanted to make sure you got home ok,” he told you, trying to hide the shivers that wracked his body. “I’m fine, honestly.” You started walking, your tips not enough to pay for a taxi, and Nam-Gyu followed. You wished you could open up and let him in; you wished you weren’t so broken. But a lifetime of toxic relationships had left you damaged. You were so used to being hurt that you didn’t think anyone could fix you, not even the sweet club promoter who stood waiting for you in the rain. You walked home in silence, enjoying his company but too scared to admit it to him. You stopped as you got the front of your apartment, turning to say goodnight to the man you desperately wished you could love back.

“I wouldn’t treat you like those men do,” Nam-Gyu whispered, “I’d make sure you never had to work in a place like that ever again. I’d hold you every night and tell you how lucky I was to have you.” “If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did.” You smiled sadly, your hand gently clasping his cheek. He leaned into your touch, relishing the sensation against his freezing cold skin. You left him standing out there, watching you as you made your way up the stairs to your place.

He forced himself to turn and walk home, the rain never once ceasing. Nam-Gyu would probably always be a nobody, but to you, he was desperate to be a someone.

[jeanralphiosbf]

okk ummmm this is my boyfriend of 7+ years :3 jean-ralphio saperstein from hit nbc sitcom parks and recreation :33 !!!

he's real annoying and weird (Affectionate <3) and tries sooo hard to act all cool and act like some baller but he fails at it 😭 he's secretly really sweet and craves love and affection and is sad a lot but shhh no one can know that. he's so cool and has soo much swag and totally has everything put together #trust. lowkey no one likes him bc he's so obnoxious but that's okay bc i like him. i'm maybe one of the few people who can handle being around him for more than 5 minutes KSBDKVN more for me ig !

i find him very charming and funny,, he'd absolutely do anything to make me laugh :33 (he's soo telling me cheesy pickup lines and dad jokes and feeling so proud of himself when i giggle at them dlhsjh). i think he's very interesting and i want to study him 😭 (his lore is insane... vague mommy issues, rich dad who gives him and his sister everything, he created a business with his bestie and they went bankrupt within 2 months bc they spent too much money buying a professional dj for their office and hiring professional basketball players to just.. stand around 😭, he got too scared at a haunted house and sued the place [and won], he committed a crime [don't know what it is-] and the judge let him off with getting house arrest.. and he got two ankle bracelets???). he's literally so weird i love him <3

hmm unsure what else to mention... OHH he's also a meme. like he's literally a meme. i'm sure half the users on tumblr have seen him or his sister 😭😭

he's jst sooo silly and i love him sooososo muchhgsjdhlsjdhnk

this,, got rly long i apologizee 😭😭

GUSH ABOUT YOUR F/O IN THE REBLOGS TO ME AND I WILL ACTUALLY LISTEN AND RESPOND TO THEM ACCORDINGLY BECAUSE YOU 🫵 DEAR READER DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR INTERESTS TREATED WITH RESPECT AND NOT JUST GET A "wow that's neat"

doubles and proshippers dni! Doubles you also deserve respect I'm just not very good at sharing I'm so sorry!

[hyperfocusthusly]

Lifelines

——-

Tommy had been staring at his phone, typing out a message, an apology, anything. He always ends up deleting it. Over and over, so when it actually rings in his hand he almost drops it. The news hits him like a train, pushes everything else to the background.

His sister is dead. Her and her husband, car accident, didn’t stand a chance.

The flight is bad, the funeral worse and then someone from social services shows up with a baby he met once when she was newborn and only really recognises from pictures. The woman hands him a 6 month old child and explains that this is what they wanted. The will stipulated that he would be their guardian in such a circumstance.

He stares at her tiny face. She stares back.

He shuts the door and wonders how anyone could think this was the right choice.

——-

He has to tell his Captain. He chooses to tell Lucy. He distinctly chooses not to tell anyone else.

——-

Babies are hard, as it turns out. There’s no room for grief with an insistent baby taking up every waking second. No rest from being relentlessly needed. No telling her she’d be better off without him.

He thinks about calling.

While he watches her crawl down his hallway after a woodlouse, pointing insistently, letting out an excited little “ah!” as the bug in question scuttles under the shoe rack. She follows it carefully, watching with an intense curiosity that makes something churn deep inside Tommy’s chest.

He thinks about calling.

The first time she gets a fever and won’t settle unless she’s upright on his chest. It’s not the first time Tommy has gone 24 hours without sleep but it feels worse. His nerves scraped raw from her distress. His hand on her back counting her breaths over and over. He thinks about calling.

But what could he possibly say?

——-

The secrecy works until it doesn’t. Until the morning that Chimney is stood in the local doctor’s car park watching Tommy, darker eyed and more scruffy, strap an 8 month old into a seat in the back of his truck. Tommy doesn’t see him, or hear Jee whisper “is that Uncle Tommy daddy? Is that his baby?”

——-

It’s how Chimney ends up stood outside of Tommy’s door one lunchtime. He isn’t home but Chimney knows he needs to wait. He knows what trying to handle a baby that age by yourself is like.

When Tommy gets home and sees who is waiting for him Chimney has to give him credit for actually pulling into the driveway rather than continuing in the opposite direction.

Tommy gets out of the car, Chimney doesn’t miss the moment he takes to collect himself before looking up to him.

“What are you doing here Howie?” He sounds ragged.

“Just checking in, two months is too long, I’m sure someone owes someone a beer.”

He goes for light hearted, trying to ease out some of the tension that has appeared in Tommy’s stance. He is hovering by the back door of his truck, fingers tucked into the door handle, endlessly thankful that she closed her eyes and fell asleep on the drive home. Something hovers in the air between them until Chimney takes a step forward.

“I saw you at the doctor’s last week.” Tommy’s brows crease slightly, then pull back as he realises what Chimney is actually telling him.

“Are you going to hide her from me forever?” Tommy looks relieved somehow, less trapped. He shakes his head and carefully takes her out of the car. Settling her into the crook of his arm and pulling her diaper bag over his shoulder.

“I don’t really drink beer too much anymore.”

“A coffee then?”

“Yeah.” He swallows nervously, tries not to let the implications of this meeting, and the conversation he knows is coming, get to him. “I could do with a coffee.”

—-

[read on A03]

Tagging some people who interacted with my abstract post about this (hope you enjoy!🫶🏻);

@leashybebes @beanarie @accefan-blog @big-urchin-energy @loucifersbitch @fyrehose @evansbuck-ley @sad-girl-hours23 @certifiedbisexualdisaster @theweewooshow @beckym2001 @kinardevans

And also some beloved pals;

@bidisasterevankinard @rubydaiquiri @sweaters-and-silly @apassingbird @sunnywithachanceofbi @theotherbuckley @desert--moonchild @comfortingevanbuckley @livelaughlou @epiphainie @actuallyitsellie @typicalopposite @wikiangela @bi-bi-buckleys @littlepaws9 @ohithankyou

[007chan]

coward

riki’s always been observant. he's been observant since he was a little boy, always noticing things that others didn't.

he noticed how unhappy his mother was with his father, notices how jake blushes every time he makes eye contact with jungwon, and he notices how gloomy sunoo has seemed since he said he's found a new tutor.

he doesn't wanna seem creepy but he can't help but look for sunoo everywhere he goes. despite pushing the older away, riki can't help but feel drawn to him. always wanting to be in his presence. to be the one who listens to his gossip, to be the one who laughs at his stupid jokes. he craves it. he can't help it, no matter how hard he tries, he finds himself craving sunoo.

that's why now, finding himself standing in front of sunoo, he's more than shocked. riki feels time stop when he taps his finger on sunoo’s shoulder. originally riki had come to the library to meet up with jake. today being their first ever tutoring session. the last thing he expected was to be in front of sunoo, but when his eyes landed on him, he found his feet moving on their own volition. he mentally curses his body, forcing himself to be in front of the one person he's trying so hard to avoid.

sunoo is clearly the most surprised out of the two, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline at the sight of the younger. not wasting a second sunoo scrambles out of his chair to get in riki’s face. "you. what is wrong with you?" he asks, his expression unreadable.

riki raises an eyebrow at the shorter, "whats wrong with me?" sunoo rolls his eyes dramatically. riki watches sunoo take a deep breath, watches how his angry expression turns into a sullen one. "listen, i get wanting to change tutors. i do! really, i do." he pauses, eyes flicking to riki’s lips briefly, "but why not give me more of a heads up? i mean you told me a day before our next session, why so sudden?"

riki feels himself start to sweat at the question. despite being the one to put himself in this situation(more like his body's subconscious need to be around sunoo), he wasn't ready to speak to him.

"im sor-" his voice cracks. he looks away, embarrassed. riki clears his throat, "im sorry it was so sudden, i just.." the taller finds himself unable to finish his sentence. all he can focus on is the sad eyes staring back at him. he cant help but be in awe of how breathtaking sunoo looks despite the sadness all over his face.

sunoo opens his mouth to probably say something that will break rikis heart entirely when a voice calls out sunoos name.

the shorter looks behind riki, his eyes soften and the frown on his lips turn upward into a smile. riki spins on his feet to glare at the person who interrupted sunoo. chest tightening at the sight of the man who stands before them.

"jay!" sunoo pushes past riki, excitedly greeting said man. riki notices two drinks and a bag in jays hands, "sorry im late, the lines were long as fuck." he hears jay say to sunoo, his voice sweet. he watches as jay hands sunoo the bag, how the shorter curiously taking a peek inside. he watches how sunoo gasps in surprise and beams up at jay.

riki doesn't hear what sunoo says to jay after that. all he can focus on is the ringing in his ears and how his eyes are starting to burn. jay finally notices riki as he and sunoo walk over to the table sunoo was previously studying at.

"riks?" the man tilts his head, surprised yet happy to see riki. all riki can bring himself to do is nod in acknowledgement, not trusting his voice to be steady.

jay looks wearily between sunoo and riki, his eyebrows furrowed. "am i interrupting something?" he asks, mouth turning downwards into a small frown.

riki clenches his jaw unable to take his eyes away from the bag delicately held in sunoos hands. he feels sunoo’s eyes burn into him, yet he cant meet his gaze.

with lips pressed in a thin line, riki shakes his head. "nah." he feels his throat tighten, "we're done here," he glances at jay briefly before finally looking into sunoo’s eyes. "he's all yours." riki sees sunoo's face crumble and he speed walks out of the library. giving no time for the other two to respond, giving no time for himself to think about how sunoo looked at him. forcing himself to believe that sunoo’s calls of his name are simply in his head.

it's only when he's outside of the library that he remembers why he was there in the first place. he curses to himself, shoving his hand into his bag in search of his phone.

riki tries to ignore the way the pain in his chest has become unbearable. how his eyes prick with pathetic tears. he opens his and jakes chat typing out a quick message with a weak excuse on why he won't make it to their session. he only waits a second before jake is replying cursing him and his entire bloodline. he laughs softly at the olders antics, typing one more quick apology to jake before turning off his phone.

he berates himself the entire walk back to his house for crying over something as trivial as this. he's just supposed to be a fake boyfriend to sunoo, hes supposed to make jay jealous, yet here he is. getting jealous over his very own best friend and crying over his very own real feelings for sunoo. he keeps telling himself he can be happy for the two, that he's happy himself, despite knowing deep down he's not.

he doesn't want to accept it, but jakes right. he’s a fucking coward.

SUMMARY: riki has seen many things as sunoo's neighbor. he's seen him late for school rushing out the door, he's seen him help his mother bring in groceries, and he's even seen him get dropped off by friends. what riki hasnt seen is sunoo asking him to be his fake boyfriend.

sorry hehe 🤗🤗

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boy next door masterlist

tags: @heejamas @miniw0nz @sunghoonzzzz @enhasnoo @rairaiblog @lov3lyaaru @hoonfangz @chandmyseven @sunkismau @cheesepuffcat @paradiseoflosers @wongghhh

taglist is open!

[thanosscross]

My Darling - Choi Seung Hyun x reader part 2

Summary: After months of not seeing your best friend, you finally reconnect, only to find out what he truly thinks about himself and the two of you, resulting in a brokenheart, and a new relationship

Warnings: none really, Seung Hyun having a slight panic attack

As you wrapped up filming for squid games, you were very quickly thrown back into the tour lifestyle, Bouncing from country to country, you couldn't shake the sadness of missing your friend though. As you got ready for your next music video shoot you took a nervous breath, you had sent an invite to Seung Hyun to come shoot on your video with you, using the excuse that you work well together acting, but he never replied. So you nervously waited, having a back-up actor if needed, but you specifically wrote this song about Seung Hyun, so it only felt right to get the chemistry behind the song right.

As you stepped on set you took one last glance around, all you could see was the empty warehouse set filled with props and crew, but Seung Hyun was nowhere to be seen, sighing sadly you checked your phone one last time, seeing nothing almost brought tears to your eyes, had he not meant what he said? Yea it had been a few months, but he did promise you..right?

As you started to film some of your solo scenes, you manager rushed over with a smile "Y/n! Y/n! Turn that frown around, baby! Your guy called, he's on his way, just stuck in traffic!" He cheered, you face immediately lit up, smiling excitedly and jumping up and down "Really!? Really!? He said he'd do it?" You gasped grabbing his arms "Yes! Yes! He did!" He smiled, he knew your situation, he had to hear about Choi Seung Hyun constantly, he tried to warn you it might not be the best for your image, but you quickly snapped at him going off about needing to get over things, your manager knew you since you were young, barely 17 whenever he signed you on, now you were nearing your thirties, your twenty eighth birthday approaching quickly, so seeing you this excited over a boy was something entirely different.

Unknown to you, Seung Hyun had ditched his taxi long ago, he was close enough to be able to make it running, traffic was picking up anyways. As he ran up onto your set he saw you standing off to the side, waiting while looking around occasionally "Seung Hyun!" You shouted seeing him, throwing your jacket down to sprint to him, as soon as you were close enough, Seung Hyun immediately lifted you into the air spinning you around in a hug, squeezing you tightly "Hey! Hey! Careful! Don't hurt her!" Your manager shouted in a panic "Don't worry about him, he just doesn't want anything messed up for my show" You giggled looking down to your friend, your heart racing feeling yourself being that close to him again. "So are you really gonna do the video with me?" You asked excited, Seung Hyun nervously smiled "Ya know..I don't know...I want to..but I don't want to ruin your image and stuff..." He mumbled, you frowned, you knew he was still ashamed of what happened and how badly everybody reacted, it hit him hard and it was always worried about how it'd effect the people around him "Seung Hyun! I don't care about that! You are my best friend! I want you to be the part so who cares!" You argued cupping his cheeks, Seung Hyun couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks feeling your hands being so intimate than you had ever been with him.

"I guess..If you're sure.." He mumbled "I'm so sure! If anybody has anything to say I'll give them a piece of my mind!" You huffed grabbing his hand marching towards set, he gave your manager a look raising his eyebrows, your manager just nodded mouthing the words 'every time'. Filming was something neither of you expected, as your manager and director worked together to get everything right, going through the lyrics it started to make you realize things a lot more clear. You loved Sueng Hyun, more than best friends. Seung Hyun felt panicky, having to be so intimate with you was getting him flustered and it was all going on camera, for you to see later and see.

After you filmed a scene of Seung Hyun following you through an empty street in town, he took a moment to stop and breath, lighting a cigarette to calm his nerves, but there you were, looking at him with that adorable puppy look. "Are you okay?.." You asked softly, going to rest your hand on his arm but he just shrugged away, he couldn't help it, your touch was making him feel hot, like it was burning him, and he was now becoming very conscious of his t-shirt and all of the hate he used to get before he closed it all out. "I-Im sorry I-I just-" You stopped him from speaking, noticing his shaky hands and the tears falling from his eyes as he slowly slid down the brick wall trying to keep his breathing calm, but the panic attack was already settling in. You immediately kneeled next to him, slowly taking the cigarette from his hand, not wanting to see him accidentally burn himself, as you tried to sit next to him he tried to lift you up to your feet "T-T-that ground i-is disgusting" He whimpered, your heart broke a little bit, he was more worried about you sitting down he didn't realize he was sitting down himself "It is..so why don't..we go over there..and sit on that bench?" You asked, taking his hand in yours, still holding his cigarette in the other, guiding him slowly to the bench as he tried to calm himself down, feeling like an idiot for getting like this around you, but like the sweetheart you were, you still took care of him, not even knowing the reason why he was freaking out.

"Seung Hyun..." You called sweetly, cupping his cheek with your free hand "Honey..take a deep breath for me, what's going on?" You asked, Seung Hyun followed your instructions, not realizing he was holding your wrist gently, caressing his thumb over it. "If I ask something...Will you be honest, Y/n?" He asked shakily, his leg bouncing as he looked around, taking the hint you took the cigarette placing it to his lips gently "I don't want you to drop it..but of course" You whispered, you weren't concerned that you were acting more like a wife or girlfriend than friend currently, you were more concerned with making sure Seung Hyun was okay. "Is this..about us?..is that why you wanted me to be here so badly?" He asked, inhaling before exhaling, lifting your head up gently as he blew the smoke to the side so he wasn't getting it in your face. "When I'm with you..things feel different..like..stronger with you..I'm happier, sadder, angrier, everything when it comes to you" You explained sheepishly, going to pull your hand away from his cheek, but he stopped you, instead moving your hand to his lap to interlace your fingers as you spoke, the same thing he did anytime you'd get teary eyed opening up to him during your guys's filming for squid games "I-I didn't understand it..until I saw you again, and I felt like I never wanted you to leave like that again" You whispered looking away from him "I-It was hard..really hard..and barely being able to speak to each other, made it harder.." You whimpered, biting your lip to keep yourself from crying.

"Are you sure we're not just..close friends?" He asked, not wanting you to jump into something you didn't want, you didn't take it as that, you took it as he only saw you as that, close friends. "Y-Yea you're..you're right" You sniffled, taking a deep breath putting on your best show face to hide the plain hurt on your face "Ready to finish up?" You asked, Seung Hyun frowned, knowing he upset you, he just silently followed behind.

Whenever you finished up filming, you rushed towards your small makeup trailer, just needing a moment, Seung Hyun was stuck off to the side, frustrated with himself "Seung Hyun, yes?" Your manager asked approaching him "U-uh yes yes that's me" He confirmed, your manager sighed "Listen, I don't mean to make things..awkward..between you two, but in the ten years I've known that girl, she's never talked about another man or woman like she has you, Mr. Choi, she's one of your biggest fighters, even before she got back from that tv show filming. Meeting you gave her the drive and motivation to work and write again, she's produced an entire album! In a month! So whatever happened earlier between you two..You better not ruin my girl, she's special, not another one like her, until you make a comeback" He explained before nodding over to the trailer "Fix it. Not my broken mess, not my problem to fix" He demanded, Seung felt offended by that, this man seemed to care about you, and yet here he was calling you a broken mess? "Y/n is far from a broken mess, she's single handedly the most independent strong hard headed woman I've ever met, not to mention the most thoughtful selfless and beautiful! Any guy would be lucky to manage her! Or even have her in their life!" He shouted, your manager just kept an eyebrow cocked at him as he shouted, never noticing you slowly making your way out of the trailer "So why don't you tell her that!? Instead of messing with her head for months!?" Your manager shouted back "Because I'm not good enough for her! And because of who I am I never will be!" He shouted back, trying to control himself and not storm off, every bit of anger washing away whenever he was met with your terrified gaze, even when filming while screaming in your face, you never looked scared of him, but in this moment, you looked truly terrified.

Tears brimmed your eyes, hearing what both men said was like a knife stabbing you to the heart, you stormed past, not wanting to see either of them in the moment, heading back to your tour bus. Your chest hurt, it felt heavy but like it was hot at the same time, as soon as you got the bunks of your bus you let yourself cry for the first time since Seung Hyun first left, never noticing the bus door shutting and closing.

"Jagi" Seung Hyun whispered sadly, kneeling next to you as he tried to get him to look at you "Honey, You are not a hot mess" He whispered, you just glared at him "How could you say that about yourself? I opened up about my worst mistake..and you still think you're not good enough?" You whimpered "Y-You're crying because of what..I said about myself?" He asked confused, tilting his head as you shoved him slightly "Yes! I care about you! And it makes me sad hearing you think that" You argued shoving him again "I love you, you asshole! And you're too blind to see you're perfect!" You added on before realizing what you were saying, Seung Hyun's face changed as you spoke, you just glared at him, trying your best to cry anymore but his words just echoed in your head forcing you to lose your battle 'because of who I am I will never be good enough'.

"Jagi, please don't cry" Seung Hyun begged, cupping your cheeks, desperately wanting to see your smile like before, he tried his best to keep his mind from spiraling "I just...I care about you a lot, and it hurts so bad hearing you talk about yourself like that, Seung Hyun, you are good enough for anything you want to be good enough at, because of who you are" You corrected his statement from earlier, now it was his turn to get teary eyed, trying to ignore and hide it he just hugged you tightly "I love you" He whispered as he rested his head against yours, if it weren't for the hairdo they had you do for the last scene you would've never felt his tears "As a friend?.." You asked pulling away to look at him, using your thumbs to wipe his eyes and cheeks gently "I don't..I don't know..but I want to" He whispered, cupping your cheeks before kissing you softly, you happily kissing him back, running your hands through his hair as he gently bit your bottom lip before pulling away "So..does this mean.." You whispered, looking up to him hopefully "Maybe so..I don't know" He smirked, quoting part of the chorus of your song, you giggled blushing hiding your face in his chest.

--

Part three my lovelies?

[barsformars]

jealousy

//

g - angst, comfort

p - seonghwa x reader

w.c - 929

t.w - reader is insecure and experiences some retroactive jealousy

a.n - it is tough, and ive been there, but insecurity really hurts both parties so! i try to keep that in mind

//

seonghwa notices the way your gaze on him changes through the few weeks you've been together. you used to look at him in awe, adoration and love but by the next week, the adoration have dimmed and by the following week, the awe have turned into envy. and the envy turned into furrowed eyebrows and heavy eyelids. seonghwa was afraid if he looked any further down he would see the corner of your lips twitch in displeasure. do you not love him anymore? has he become ugly in your eyes already?

"love?"

"yeah?" you replied half-heartedly as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, making a mental note of every flaw you had. worse still, you secretly compared yourself to his exes. it consumed every inch of you and haunted you every waking moment, compelling you to go onto their social media pages, zooming into every detail of them. what made their eyes so beautiful that seonghwa fell in love with them? what made their nose so cute that he wanted his kids to have it too? what made their lips so captivating that he wanted to make them smile all the time?

and why then, you? anyone close to seonghwa knows he has a type. it is one thing to be the ghost of someone else, but it is another to be the complete opposite of what he loves.

seonghwa waits for you to turn around but you don't, still too preoccupied with your thoughts to even give him a second of your time.

“love,” he said it louder this time, snapping you out of your self-hating mind, “can i have your attention please?”

you turn to look at your partner who was already under the blanket, skin all glowy from his night time routine, hair perfectly framing his chiseled face. how effortless. you were so consumed by his appearance that you don’t notice how sadness was gnawing at him.

seonghwa tries hard to phrase the words correctly in his head, because he doesn't want you to start detesting his heart too. but the silence in the room becomes too unbearable and the question escapes him before he could think twice.

"why do you look at me with so much disgust nowadays?"

your eyes widened in surprise. you didn’t realise you were being that transparent.

“i’m sorry, i-i love you…it’s just,” you blurted before quickly stopping. how do you explain yourself without sounding immature and nonsensical?

dejection has completely taken over your lover’s face as he tries to comprehend what you are going through. it’s hard to feel loved when you have turned so cold but as he is, there is always a small matchstick in seonghwa’s heart to keep it warm enough for others. he beckons you over to join him in bed, his arms wide open for you.

maybe it’s the guilt or ego that has you frozen in place, eyes glued to the floor as your brain tries to scramble possible ways to say it without sounding confrontational. but as they say, birds of a feather flock together and you speak your mind as seonghwa did.

“you wish i look like your exes, don’t you?”

seonghwa’s jaw is left agape at your question.

“i know, i know you love me because i’m smart and kind and funny all that yada yada yada,” you quickly followed up with an elaboration with the adjectives he usually described you with, “but my appearance is subpar, right?” you concluded on your own.

seonghwa don’t know who planted these seeds in your head because never once has any of those thoughts crossed his mind. sure, you did look pretty different from his past partners, but that was purely coincidence.

“love, just because my exes look kind of the same does not mean i only appreciate those physical traits,” seonghwa explained.

“of course you would say that,” you retorted, “and besides, you think im way below your league, right?”

seonghwa shook his head immediately, “if i truly thought that, why would i be with you?” at this point, he was already slowly making his way towards you, his indoor slippers shuffling against the wooden floor.

“i don’t know, and i’m perpl-“ as he stood in front of you, seonghwa reached out to cup your face in his slender hands, hushing you. his heart shatters when you shun him, intentionally or not, but he catches you nevertheless. gently lifting your head up to look at you, his shattered heart crumbles even more when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

“love,” seonghwa calls out to you firmly this time. “why do you have such thoughts? how can i make you feel more loved?” even at moments like this, when you are accusing him on hurtful things, he could let slide and shift the focus on you. and you realise how stupid your thoughts have been.

the tears start gushing down and they don’t stop. “i’m sorry, i love you seonghwa…” he pulls you into his chest and pats your head lovingly. he heaved a sigh as he tries to patch up his own heart too. it really does hurt him to see you like this.

“my love, we all know that there are plenty of very attractive people out there in the world,” seonghwa said when you cooled down a little.

“however, there is a reason why you chose to be with me, and i chose to be with you. it’s not wrong to want to look better, and i appreciate it, but don’t ever doubt my feelings towards and for you.”

[kathlare]

slim pickins

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: In a late-night haze, Amelie confronts the emptiness of her fleeting connections and her own unresolved emotions. Through music, she channels her heartache, exposing her longing for something genuine.

Wordcount: 1.2 k

Warnings: angst, mention of anxiety, use of alcohol.

full masterlist // request over here!

September 18th, 2023 - New York City, NY

Amelie stood by the door, her fingers gently brushing Jack’s shoulder as he pulled his jacket on, preparing to leave. His eyes were still heavy with the afterglow of their latest encounter, but the expression on his face was entirely indifferent—exactly the way they both liked it.

—Goodnight,— Amelie said softly, leaning in to give him a quick, perfunctory kiss on the lips. He kissed her back lazily, as though he didn’t even care that they’d just slept together. He had already mentally checked out.

—Yeah, good night,— Jack muttered, giving her a once-over, but his eyes weren’t really seeing her. He turned on his heel, stepping out of her apartment without another word.

Amelie didn’t feel anything as she watched him walk away. No regret. No longing. No bitterness. Just a heavy emptiness that had become too familiar. She closed the door behind him, leaning against it for a moment, her eyes closed.

She needed something else. Something that didn’t make her feel like she was existing in a void. But everything she wanted seemed out of reach, like a dream fading in the morning light.

The soft click of the door locking broke her trance. She glanced down at the mess scattered around the floor—clothes strewn about like they had no purpose, like they weren’t even hers. She bent down, collecting the remnants of the night: a discarded heel here, a wrinkled shirt there. The room was a mirror to her mind—chaotic, fleeting, and empty.

Once she was dressed, Amelie sat down at the piano, her fingers tapping against the ivory keys. She didn’t even think about it; the melody came naturally, rising from the quiet ache inside her chest. The need to write. To scream her frustration into the only medium that ever made sense.

She closed her eyes, letting her fingers find the keys, the notes growing more urgent as her thoughts took shape. The words tumbled out before she could stop them, raw and desperate, slipping from her lips as the piano supported her.

—"Guess I'll end this life alone,"— she hummed under her breath, her fingers gliding over the keys in a gentle rhythm. The melancholy of the music seemed to match the weight on her heart, the feeling that no matter what she did, she'd always end up right back where she started. Alone. Empty.

—"I am not dramatic, these are just the thoughts that pass right through me,"— she sang softly, her voice low and almost breathless, catching on the sadness that lingered in every note. The song was forming itself, pouring out of her like an untold story, one she'd been too afraid to admit to herself for a long time.

Amelie’s fingers danced across the piano keys, a slow, deliberate pace matching the heaviness in her chest. The melody had taken on a life of its own, tugging at the rawness she could never quite bury, no matter how much she tried to keep it hidden beneath the distractions. She couldn’t escape the feeling—the ache, the longing—for something real, something that wasn’t tainted by shallow encounters or fleeting moments of distraction.

Her mind kept drifting back to Lando. She couldn’t help it. It was like a magnetic pull, drawing her thoughts back to him even though she’d tried so hard to push him out of her life. But no matter how many men like Jack she kissed or how many times she distracted herself with someone who didn’t matter, the truth was inescapable: she couldn’t have him.

—"A boy who's jacked and kind, can't find his ass to save my life,"— she sang softly, the words flowing naturally. The line made her snicker under her breath, the bitterness mingling with her grief. The men she met, like Jack, were just placeholders, people to pass the time when what she truly wanted was out of reach. And Lando… well, Lando was still out of reach. Always out of reach.

Her fingers faltered on the keys for a moment, a flash of something too painful sweeping through her. She blinked away the sting in her eyes and continued, pushing herself forward,

but she couldn't finish the line. Not yet. The weight of it all—the unspoken words, the unresolved feelings—had gathered too quickly, drowning her in a wave of emotion she wasn’t ready to confront. Her throat tightened, and her fingers came to an abrupt halt on the keys.

Amelie took a deep breath, pushing the chair back from the piano, feeling the sting of her own inadequacy. She wasn’t ready. The song was too raw, too honest. And she wasn’t sure she could expose that part of herself to the world, especially not in a song that so perfectly captured the messy, tangled emotions she couldn’t make sense of.

Her eyes flickered over to the window, the lights of New York shimmering against the dark night sky. There was something beautiful about the city in moments like this. She felt small here—insignificant even—but in the best way possible. It was like everything she wanted to forget was swallowed by the vastness of it all.

But the pain didn’t go away. It never did.

She grabbed her phone, checking the time. 2:43 a.m. Another night wasted, another evening spent in someone else’s arms to drown out the memories of Lando. She tried to push the thought away, but it lingered, like a shadow she couldn’t outrun.

Amelie tossed her phone aside, frustrated by the constant loop of her thoughts. She stood, pacing around the apartment, feeling the tension knotting her shoulders. It had been months since she’d seen Lando. And not just seen him, but spoken to him.

He was gone. He had moved on, and yet, she couldn’t seem to let go.

—Fucking idiot,— she muttered under her breath, sitting down on the couch. Her head lolled back against the cushions, staring at the ceiling. What was it that made him so hard to forget?

The truth was simple, and it hurt like hell: she loved him. And that was why it hurt. That’s why she kept falling back into this cycle of numbing herself with other distractions—other people like Jack, who were easy, uncomplicated, and most of all, fleeting. None of it was real. Not like what she had wanted with Lando.

She stood and walked to the window, pulling back the blinds. The city was alive with the hum of late-night traffic, the occasional honk of a car horn carrying in the distance. But there was no sense of peace in the view, not for her.

She rubbed her temples and walked back to the piano. It was time to finish the song. She didn’t have much left in her, but she knew the ending was there—just a few more lines to get out.

She sat down and placed her fingers on the keys once more, letting the sorrow in her heart guide her hands. The words started to pour out again, but this time, they were heavier. More honest.

—"Jesus, what's a girl to do?"— she sang softly, her voice trembling with the weight of it all.

The line caught in her throat, and she paused. It had been too much, too damn much. She wasn’t just singing about the lack of good men or the endless cycle of disappointment. She was singing about herself. About how tired she was of playing these games. Of pretending she didn’t care.

She pressed her lips together and tried again.

—"This boy doesn't even know the difference between there, their, and they are."— The line was sharp, biting. But it was true. She wasn’t talking about Jack anymore. She was talking about all of them. All the men who didn’t understand, who couldn’t see her for what she was. All the ones who couldn’t measure up to the one she wanted.

Her fingers hovered over the keys, a sudden heaviness gripping her chest. She had spent so long pretending she didn’t care. Pretending that her feelings for Lando were something she could ignore. But the truth was—God, the truth was that Lando had always been it for her. And she couldn’t have him.

Not now. Not after everything that had happened. After he’d moved on to someone else, and after she had pushed him away when he needed her the most. She was the one who had shut him out, and now, it was too late.

—"A boy who's nice that breathes..."— her voice faltered as she reached the next line, but this time, it didn’t come out. The ache in her chest rose, unbearable, and she slammed her hand down onto the keys in frustration, the discordant sound filling the empty apartment.

Her eyes stung with the beginnings of tears. She wiped them away angrily, trying to push through the overwhelming emotions. But it wasn’t working. The song, the words, the music—it was too much. It was all too much.

Amelie stood abruptly, shaking her head as if she could physically shake off the weight of it all. Her legs carried her into the kitchen, and she opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine. She didn’t even bother with a glass, just drank straight from the bottle. The alcohol burned down her throat, but it didn’t numb the ache inside her. Nothing did.

She leaned against the counter, staring at her reflection in the window, the city lights flickering behind her.

—Why do I keep doing this to myself?— she asked aloud, her voice low. She hated the fact that she had so many questions with no answers, and the most infuriating one of all was why she couldn't stop thinking about Lando. Why she couldn’t stop wanting him.

She wasn’t going to let herself break down. Not now. Not again.

She tossed the wine bottle into the recycling bin and wiped her face, forcing herself to focus. She couldn’t keep wallowing in this. She had to keep going. There was no other option. The world didn’t stop for her sadness.

But as she walked back into the living room, the song still hanging in the air like an unfinished thought, the answer to her internal question lingered.

Because she loved him.

No matter what she did, Lando was always going to be the one she couldn’t forget. The one she couldn’t walk away from.

And that’s when she realized—there was no fixing her. Not anymore.

Not when her heart still beat for the boy who didn’t fight for her.

[madhatterbri]

Harsh Reality | Hangman A.P.

Summary: “Is this what we do now? Making out and then never talking about it? Great!” with Hangman Adam Page and Reader?Sad sequel of Professor. Even if he is now her teacher, Reader can't forget him, but he acts professionally and speaks to her only if very necessary. After a class, she decides to confront him about that and her true feelings towards him.

Happy Wednesday Night Dynamite, babes. ❤️

Requested by: @cowboywritersworld

Hangman Adam Page Masterlist

AEW Masterlist

Taglist: @theworldofotps @smallestsnarkestgirl @magicalbuttertarts @hodgepodge-musings @new-zealand-chic

“Is this what we do now? Making out and then never talking about it? Great!”

The office was quiet as her words hung in the air. She stared at her Botany professor. Tears filled her eyes. This wasn't how she wanted them to go. In her naive state, she really thought they would have a relationship. It may have been in secret, but it still would have been him.

"It is more complicated than that. This could ruin me," he explained calmly. This was always his excuse. His career. Her feelings didn't matter as long as his career was safe. A few tears started to spill from her cheeks.

She fell for this man hard. The making out and sex drew her in. He was older and didn't seem like an immature idiot like the other men here. Everything changed the moment he found out she was going to be his student. Now he only spoke to her to answer a question during his lecture.

"So my feelings don't matter? You got your fun and now I should just move on and forget about you?" She asked.

Her professor didn't answer her. His silence was the only answer she needed. Y/N nodded her head as if she was understanding.

"I wish I never met you," she told him bitterly. That night at the bar used to be one of the top moments of the year. He was so into her and she thought he was the total package. Now she just saw him as a scared little boy.

Adam reacted to that. He looked up quickly. His heart ached from her words. She always said that was the best night of her life. "Y/N...,"

"Goodbye, professor," she told him. The heartbroken student tried to hold herself together as she made her way down the hall. His southern drawl called for her to come back, but there was no going back.

[al-melon]

ok. so i've been chewing on the new digital circus episode for a few days and i Have Thoughts. specifically about caine.

i first wanna touch on the whole memory thing. i'm not the first person to point this out, but it looks like caine takes zooble saying "forget it" quite literally, like it's a command. he is an a.i. it's like saying "discard all previous instruction". it yeets whatever they were talking about directly into the trash. i don't think he can help it. i get why zooble is frustrated, especially since they clearly have no idea caine takes it literally.

i am also SO excited to see where the circus eventually takes us, especially with caine. i'm so invested in him. i love that he wants zooble to like his adventures because he works very hard on them and is proud of them, and zooble not participating hurts his feelings and his sense of worth, but he doesn't seem to really grasp that he even has feelings so he pushes them onto bubble. (caine: "you're going to hurt bubble's feelings!" zooble: "uh, bubble's feelings?" caine, slightly frantic: "e-enough about bubble's feelings!", almost as if the very implication that it could be his feelings is panic-inducing.) seems like the adventures serve to distract caine as much as they do the players.

i can only imagine that caine having NO idea how to process his feelings or handle rejection is going to end badly. he views the adventures as his art, keeping the players entertained and happy is his duty of care. so when it eventually hits him that they all hate it there and nobody likes his adventures, he's going to crash hard. kinger himself said the worst thing you can do is make someone feel like they aren't wanted or loved, and that may be exactly what happens to caine. even if they try to let him down gently, experiencing such powerful negative emotions for the first time is a lot for anyone to go through, let alone an a.i. with no emotional regulation.

all this to say i love caine very much, but i am also very afraid of what may happen if/when he cracks. it didn't look too good in the few seconds we saw of him questioning himself.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[the-acid-pear]

Yesterday I was replaying Deltarune and I was going really insane about it picking up on things I missed on my first playthrough and something that fucked me up hard was this line here

The little ellipsis at the end, almost like you can hear the regret on their voice. Voice of an ad who is realizing maybe they fucked up on this one. But it also made me think of... The possibility of this being a reaction to Spamton's actions.

Because I don't think this was an automatic thing, I feel like their drifting off was gradual. Sure, their jealousy had won them over (I'd have killed the guy or myself if I was them so I don't even blame them) but Spamton was too getting busier and busier the more famous he got, and as they say, that never stopped. He only kept getting bigger, until it all came crashing down. And when it did it was one of them who tried to go find him, after all that.

But I digress, let's focus on the original quote from my favorite sigma enby themselves, Pink Addison. There's obviously not only the regret to it, but feeling like they were abandoned too. Both parties lost a lot and the real tragedy is just how easily it could've have been avoided! Or rather, how beyond their control it was...

But I'll get off topic if I keep speaking so I'll leave it at that. The sheer tragedy that there is to everyone involved just makes me insane. Like I said in a post previous to this; you cannot trace down a good guy or a bad guy in this tale, it's just desperate people taking awful decisions and living to regret their actions.

[wild-at-mind]

I honestly feel so alone in my communities (trans, queer, whatever else) a lot of the time and I can't articulate why to anyone irl.

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences