#he said he had a housemate at uni who was like this

[wild-at-mind]

I honestly feel so alone in my communities (trans, queer, whatever else) a lot of the time and I can't articulate why to anyone irl.

[super-ace]

I’ve had one relationship in my life and I often wonder why I even got into one in the first place because I’ve not wanted one ever since (don’t get me wrong, he was lovely, nothing bad happened to make me never want one again, it’s just who I am as a person). And I think I just liked the idea of being in a relationship more than I actually liked the relationship. Society brainwashed me into thinking I had to want a partner etc and so I got to uni and felt like it was my first opportunity to try dating. We were together for about 11 months but I ended it because I said to my housemates ‘I think I’d just rather be single’. And so I did and it’s been 10 years and I’ve never wanted a partner since 🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe if I’d known the word aromantic back then I might not have bothered

[callmewrinkles3]

Deuxmoi 2018

June 2018

Name: ex-PR girlie

Email: knownherforever@fake.com

Subject: Danny Ric's girl

Message: I used to work with her. Her name is Emma Smyth, she’s from Liverpool but she was living in London since she started uni. Not sure if she's still here. We worked together for a London PR firm. Won’t give the name cause I’ve friends who still work there. She’s a year younger than him. She’s very quiet. I’d say she’s pretty much an introvert? She’s sweet, but won’t talk much and never about herself. Always remembered people's birthdays though. Didn’t come to the pubs when we went after work on Fridays. She always had an excuse. She’s pretty smart, rumors says she got the best grades in her class. She left really quickly and the other rumor was she left the job, her boyfriend, and moved out in the same week. I found it very weird that she’s out with someone like DannyRic? She never mentioned being interested in sports.

Submission: idk if this is interesting but I used to know Emma when I was a kid? My mum used to always bring us to a cafe in the East End of London on a Saturday for a hot chocolate and a cream cake. Emma worked there with the owners and she was amazing, they had the best muffins and lemon drizzle cake (and on a bad week when mum got one between us there was always accidentally an extra one). She was always quiet but sweet and said my pictures I drew were lovely. I think she was in uni? We moved out of London when Dad got a new job so I never saw her again. I hope she's happy, she was always lovely.

Submission: I was in grammar school with Ricciardo's new girlfriend! Her name is Emma Smyth, we're from Liverpool. She was always really quiet but the smartest person in the room, she helped anyone struggling really quietly without making them feel bad. Went to London for uni, none of us knew she had until I heard off my dad. He works with her dad, it wasn't great. She didn't really have friends, everyone liked her but her parents were super strict.

Submission: Emma is lovely! We were in uni together and shared a halls common room. She’s the one who made sure everyone kept to the cleaning rota. She didn’t talk to loads of people, fell into a friend group and stuck with them. We only lived together that first year, but she was one of the best housemates.

[arsenalgbt]

KTXLEO is coming in two parts becaue it was way longer than I expected. 1/2

*rubs hands gleefully together because KTxLeo mean a lot to me and the lore is canon* Okay so Kieran and Leo met at uni. It was one of those posh ones that Leo got into on merit and where he knew he would study from the age of 4. His father, grandfather, great grandfather all studied there before coming back to Belgium and marrying whoever their parents decided. Leo was expected to do the same, study, come home, marry, have kids until he had a son and then take over his family’s business. He didn’t expect to be the one to mess this trend up, he didn’t plan on it. Leo knows tradition, he understands it and respects it. KT never thought he’d go to Uni, never thought he was smart or good enough or anything – he got in on a sports scholarship, barely scrapping the grades to get into a business course. KT came up rough, in an environment where he learned to fight and shut everyone out. It was normal for the kids he knew not to know one of their parents, KT hasn’t seen his mum since he was three days old leaving him with questions, abandonment issues  and a protectiveness that extends to Leo, their kids and now Ben and his son as well. KT would kill for Ben’s kid and has sworn to Ben that he’ll be there for them anytime they need him. KT came up with a dad who never asked for help and thought him that leaning on others was weak, Kieran isn’t going to let Ben’s baby grow up thinking the same.

Anyway, KT and Leo were in the same course but there were also dozens of others on there. Leo talked a lot in class, argued with lecturers and coasted through exams and assignments in a way that annoyed Dec and Ben. Dec was also on the course being forced to study business  to take over his family business while Ben was studying something else. (Dec and Leo will both be CEOs someday; Ben will get to live on generational wealth. Dec and Leo don’t know what Ben actually does or why he does it. Why would anyone with so much money has a job? For Ben, working is his saving grace. He’d go mad if he was left thinking and alone all day) Leo was also having lots of sex as advised by Dec and Ben who reminded him that in four short years he’d be married to whoever his parents had picked. (Leo knew Dec and Ben because their parents were all friends, they lived together in an off-campus apartment). Kieran on the other hand was having no sex and was too busy trying to pass his classes to even be mad about it. He was eighteen and the only one of his friends in uni, most of the others had kids now or were working jobs they’d never leave. KT wanted to be something more and worked to try and get it. He was living on campus with a few lads the uni had placed him with and he got close with his roommate Hector (KT still doesn’t think Hector actually ever studied or went to classes, he doesn’t know how he actually graduated) and Hector always dragged him along to parties every now and then whenever Kieran complained studying was giving him a headache. Hector always lured him out with the promise there would be free food or booze (Kieran didn’t have the same money everyone else had, anything free got him to go). He ended up at an international students mixer and that’s where he and Leo properly met. Leo said he recognised him from class (Leo was trying to fuck him)  and asked why an English student was at an international event. KT immediately took offence because he was absolutely not English and  proceeded to go on a ten-minute rant where the words Scottish Independence was said more times than necessary. (Hector told this story to every one of their housemates who all found it funny). Leo fell in love in that moment. He liked people who were passionate and also apparently had a thing for accents, he asked Kieran out and Kieran who was taken aback immediately agreed.

WHO'S IN A COMPETITION OF GETTING SPOILED BY THEIR ANON? sorry you lost. I WIN.

me rn waiting for part 2/10000:

[lleldey]

May I just say what the hell is wrong with men? Like a genuine question. They have been testing my patience harddd for the last two months, and I’m just like— ✋🏼

This is prob a rant, but geez I need to get this shit out of my system. Today, a lovely day, intended to have a chill day, as yesterday I passed an exam in uni (which I’m very happy abt) for what I was having countless all-nighters; but my housemate was begging me to join her for some sort of party/friend gathering her co-worker invited her to.

Usually I decline. Not a fan of parties, even more so with people I don’t even know. But for the first time ever she was begging me to come, and I caved in when she said that people there are going to be on the older side and she feels uncomfortable going alone.

❗️First red flag, we arrive and we’re the only ones there. Def should’ve turned around at that point 🥲 That’s some serial killer move - saying there’s loads of people but turns out she’s the only one invited. In a small space. With a 40+ year old man. She’s in her early twenties.

Then he says some very rude and inappropriate remarks abt her ass, how she’s brainless for working where she works, her music taste and so on.

Then homie starts flexing his ‘open lifestyle’ - in other words how he has used every possible hard drug all his life. Which is fine, but a bit concerning especially after saying how his brain doesn’t work the same way it used to.

Then fairytales come in; suddenly he’s been in a relationship with a married billionaire woman, who’s husband tried to kill him and she basically paid for his whole life for months 🙇🏼‍♀️ ???? What

Suddenly he has been a professional basketball player with a big ass contract till he decided to move to another country?? What?? He literally works in a factory

Then he keeps spitting how awful are people who marry, as that shouldn’t define a relationship (which I agree to), but then some bs comes in as he first said he has never been married, then he has, then his ex-wife is a crazy bitch who blackmailed him. Then she’s suddenly with disabilities. Then she cheated on him and robbed him ?? What ?? (Later on the way back home my housemate said he completely bullshited everything as he said this story to her before with completely different details)

Had to listen to him bitch about his ex-wife for a good half an hour, which, dunno if anyone is still reading this, but trust me, if a man says his ex is a ‘crazy bitch’ - RUN. Trust me on this. One side is never the responsible one. And from my experience - later it turns out that the man was the crazy one.

Then homie gets pushy. Offers drinks one after the other (all refused), and then he pushes me like 6 times to smoke weed. My housemate was also like just smoke some, it’s fine. Took 2 puffs mainly for him to leave me alone, such small amount that it would do nothing. Then he started saying how much ‘I’m under it’ and what not - aha, no, all it did was make me sleepy and a bit fuzzy (still wondering whether he mixed something in it), like literally no effect.

At that point I’m sober, my housemate’s sober, but he’s having some major effects - he starts laughing like a maniac. Genuinely those laughs from horror movies. Needles to say I’m scared shitless.

He starts saying tomorrow he has to drive in town for some ‘serious business’, he mentions something about him needing to *drop it off* later somewhere. Instantly gather he’s talking about some criminal activities and try to end the conversation. He keeps pushing saying I want to know what he’ll do. I said around 10 times I don’t want to hear it. Sometimes the less you know, the better.

Start to make excuses saying I have to meet up with friends so we have to go. He insists we need to stay over, as he prepared his bedroom for us, even left some towels and he’ll stay on the couch. Yeah, not a shot. Fucking creep.

He very professionally sweetens his words and dubiously motions that I’m a bad person who manipulates him. What. Met him for the first (and last) time in my life. When I question him he does his maniacal laugh and says sarcasm. Kept going for good 10 minutes 🤨 continues saying the only bad person he has met is a dude who confessed on being a murderer and was prisoned for 11 years. What.

Aha, and this was only a fraction of those 3 awful hours. What the fuck. Ya know what’s sad - this genuinely wasn’t my worst interaction with men in the last two months alone. Don’t even want to think what could’ve happened if my housemate went alone.

That’s also the main reason why I wrote TDMOE; just wanted to feel some hope that not all men see women as mindless objects ready to follow their every command.

Yeah, this turned out to be a full-blown rant. Sorry abt this, but men have been eating my nerves alive for the past two months. Thank you if anyone actually read this.

Just a reminder to never-EVER lower your standards for any man. Trust me, it’s better to die unmarried but happy, than caged with an animal.

[pampinto]

(message from me once finishing: I wrote this as a stream of conciseness when I was upset, Idk if I even have a point to get across I haven't read it)

I am just fucking crazy.

I didn't do the cleaning because I am a lazy piece of shit who doesn't want to get better.

they are asking a reasonable thing and I am reacting poorly.

when asked if i am going to do the cleaning today no is an inappropriate answer unless justified, i have to give a justification regardless of how personal the answer is.

I MUST KNOW I am being unreasonable at the centre of it.

IDK i feel like there is a hostile home environment wherein if I say no, to any request, as long as the request is reasonable I am an asshole, I should be able to say no, and I shouldn't need to drudge into why.

maybe stopping citalopram was a bad idea, maybe leaving a job on old terms was a bad idea, maybe starting a new job at the same time was a bad idea, maybe stressing about how "much" you have transitioned is a bad idea, maybe being balzie about how much you have made an effort to transition knowing full well your going to regret it later is a bad idea, maybe letting that get to your head was a very bad idea.

maybe these messages are playing on your mind (these messages are a combonation from my two housemates xx and yy)

yy:"We understand you might not be in the best headspace all the time But it's not an excuse to be so difficult"

I have tried to explain myself in the past and it hasn't worked and just lead to further interrogation wherein it is decided my life isn't so bad so I shouldn't be depressed really and I am choosing to be depressed. and I didn't say anything at the time because I don't want to loose my only friend, but I now I realise its hurtful, and I should have said something, but if I'm faking depression what else does he think I am faking, he has continued to use bro despite being asked not to (I never call him out). No that is an evil thought in my mind to make me feel crazy and unsafe and its not true.

xx:"I shouldn’t even have to ask you to clean, you’re 25 years old and should have learnt by now to just do it. i understand that you’re mental health isn’t the best but at the end of the day that is not my responsibility and you need to start being productive on the days where it’s not as bad."

I have said in the past what may seem simple and automatic for some may be hard for others, I have also explained when I am in a bad spot simple things like cleaning, eating, brushing my teeth, bathing all fall to the wayside.

I never really like the you are X years old thing as an argument as it implies a communal experience through life where by everyone learns the exact same skills and habits at certain ages, when the truth is everyone diverges in skills the older they get. But coming from a 21 y/o it makes sense not a dig at their age but like idk mang I grew up in a house with two working parents where we cleaned the house once a month we didn't do weekly cleans.

yy:"No I'm definitely getting it, you want a free pass from doing housework no questions asked

I don't care if I lived in worse places before that's really irrelevant, it's not uni anymore, I like being cleaner than that now.

Pam you have the facilities to do 30 mins of housework a week, you would just rather smoke weed and watch YouTube."

Again it feels like they are seeing my depression as an excuse to get away with not cleaning rather than an explanation to why its not being done.

I had said "we have both lived in houses that have been a lot worse" it was a response to you'd have a hard time in any other house, except I haven't, I have lived in 4 shared accommodation houses, with housemates that did varying degrees of cleaning. Now in all fairness I do watch a lot of you tube and sometimes partake (if your an employer please have already stopped reading, if not please no I was in a bad place in my life was written and I'm over it now) but I don't think they get the paralysis/exhaustion that can come from being depressed.

yy"Life's tough, everyone has shit going, I'm not denying that you're struggling, but if you want to live in peace You have to make more of an effort to pull your weight, Or at least be a better communicator and not be so difficult when youre asked to do your fair share"

again its very I know your struggling but who get on with it or deal with the backlash. I have tried to communicate before, just to be told I'm making excuses I am making it up.

This all started from

xx:"we need to keep an eye on it in the meantime [I was being accused of turning the heating on in the middle of the night before suggesting that it may just have an auto feature when the temp drops], please do some cleaning today"

me: "no"

xx:"why"

me: "I don't need to explain myself to you."

xx:"I really don't want this to be an argument, all I'm asking is that you do one bit of cleaning each week"

me: just leave me alone xx

"why is this such a problem"[end]

idk I am just tired of saying I don't feel up for it and being met with backlash they were only asking why to argue I had the time to do it, of course I had time to do it, unfortunately at the time i could have done it, I was a depressed lump trying to slowly drown herself in the sofa. my housemate has asked not to hear about my depression or any struggles as it effects her mental heath as she then feels responsible, fine but what do I say when that's the answer to the question.

Probably not " I don't need to explain myself" that wasn't a good idea. I feel the response after is threatening an argument, which with her includes personal digs, manipulation, intimidation and passive aggressive abusive tactics. But in retrospect I can see that i could be seen as starting the argument by refusing to elaborate. but as said above what am i supposed to answer? if I answer yes and it doesn't get done then its double damn me, its a no win situation.

Like I think I have just lost the fucking plot, jumped of the depended into incomprehensible thought. I must be unreasonable in my position they must be right, right? what the fuck can I even do I have pushed it beyond limits. I am the problem and I always am.

[flancs]

When I came to Lyon five years ago, I didn’t expect much – in that, I had no expectations. I had just finished a semester in Taipei where I experienced some sort of disappointment. All of my uni’s exchange stories comprised of traveling a lot, having a great time, etc, etc, but in Taipei, the pressures of being a student were so high even for international students, that it was impossible to do all of that. So, I made a lot of good friends, mostly international students since our classes weren’t often mixed with the local students, but life there was hard. Young Taiwanese were extremely friendly and helpful, but every time I cycled down the street, old men would look at me and I *knew* that I did not fit into this society with my permed hair and colourful clothes.

Lyon was almost the complete opposite. I had a freedom that I didn’t even have in Sydney. There were no societal expectations placed on me, maybe a handful of familial ones but even so, it was much much less. It was the life I’d always wanted – homecooked food, a house where you can ‘sneak in’, familial debates, and studying art, history, literature (although in French). My French classmates would invite me to hang out – that was wild. I was convinced Lyon was perfect. Just like what you see of France in films. My life here was very much a ‘go with the flow’ thing. For example, one night I went out with my classmates, and then some of them left so I was awkwardly in an apartment with a different classmate whom I had exchanged two words with. His housemates felt really bad for me, so I ended up staying on the couch… Anyway, we became really great friends (and he ended up sharing all his notes from class), so the rest was history!

While great and all, this probably didn’t set me up well for the next bit. I ended up in a relationship after two dates. I awkwardly had a crush on someone else at the time too! But I was convinced this was a cultural thing – he said we were in a couple after our second date and I was like, ‘oh okay, sure.’ I remember breaking up with him, and he started calling me every two minutes, accusing me of stealing his speakers that I didn’t even know he had. Scared. Confused. Desperate. What if he got the police involved? Who would they believe – the Frenchman or the foreigner? What if he involved my host family? After a few days, I apologised and said I made a mistake and wanted to be with him. He never brought up the speakers again. He’d get angry at me for little things – if I didn’t close the shower door properly. He’d ask me to call him and send photos of the friends I was travelling with to check up on me. Even when I went to the south of Franc with my host parents and sister, he was paranoid and didn’t believe me. He hated it when I went home to sleep instead of at his because he didn’t know what I was doing, so he stopped offering lifts. He’d skip class and so did I. When I jumped out of the car to help guide him as he parked, instead of saying thanks he said I looked like a ‘prostitute’.

I guess the weirdest thing was tolerating it all. Maybe I was desperate for the perfect exchange experience – I remember everyone being so in awe that I had managed to snag a French romance. The whole time, I knew it would end when I left, but then, it didn’t. He’d call me all the time. He’d call me when it was my daytime, extremely drunk. He’d call me sober. Eventually, it slowed. But after every few months, there would be a message. When he got COVID two years ago, I got a message from him. I can’t even remember what about.

The thing is, I forgive him. Five years on from when I was in Lyon last, I am now the same age he was when we dated, and I don’t really think he knew how to be in a relationship. I mean, I’m 26 and I’m absolutely clueless about life! And I think I forgave him a long time ago.

But coming to Lyon this time, I didn’t expect my first day to feel like I was ‘reliving’ the abuse. Walking through la Part Dieu train station, I remembered that he said I looked stupid in a sequinned dress I had just bought from Zara when we met up there. The first pharmacy sign I walked past, I remembered the time we had to go there, and I was crying. When I looked into the sky at le crayon (the Radisson Blu Hotel), I remembered how he was my person – the first person I asked if I wanted to do anything, and we went there. How, I asked him to go to the theatre and afterward, he was so excited because we ate in a restaurant next door where the star, Pierre Richard, was and he got a photo with him. And I smile as I write that.

By the second day, I realised that I was now at a stage where I needed to make peace with the city. Not him. And by today, I am so happy to be here again – if I spoke French better and if I didn’t run a theatre company that is very much geared to the Australian context, I would consider moving here and maybe teaching English or something. But I’m also glad to say, the feeling I have here is no longer unique just to Lyon, but is the same freedom and happiness I felt in Melbourne just two months ago! Of course, it’s not as cool to say you live in Melbourne as it is to say you’re Lyonnais, but it might have to do for now…

[deadandphilgames]

It's only been a day but I just can't get over the uni crush story

imagine you’re phil, so far your dating/romance experiences include:

a friend making an elaborate excuse as to how phil could kiss him and instead requested he pretended to be a sheep.

a different friend sending a fake crush compatibility test which outed phil to him and he had to play it off like he was just messing with him.

a girlfriend who forgot they were dating after a few days

a different girlfriend who wanted to hold hands despite being sweaty.

a girl who asked to make out and phil panicked then got diarrhoea.

a girl throwing her drink in phils face because he rejected her.

a mysterious online flirty dude who ghosted him when Phil said he knew who he was.

a hot alternative dude who asked for Phils number but turned out to not be interested

a coworker who tempted phil into a life of crime and turned out to have a girlfriend.

a dude at a karaoke night club who only spoke to Phil cause he recognised him from a commercial.

and then he finally thinks he has a chance with the hot neighbour only for his housemate to play porn loudly from his computer

[17caratssi]

Mingyu! Madly in Love

Being the top student in the school puts weight on your shoulder, especially when you're in your last year. Adding to that, your clingy boyfriend keeps taking your time. It started four months ago when he found a place for a date.

[Love <3] : I'm in front of your house

[You] : What? No! My father will notice you!!!

[Love <3] : It's OK, I'm good at hiding. Hurry, I miss you!!

[You] : You don't, you're just hot, so you want me to speed up

[Love <3] : That's one thing, but really, I miss you

[You] : Fine, fine. Stop sending me texts. I'm getting ready

[Love <3] : You're grumpy today :(((

You beam when you read that. You created an excuse such as 'I'm going to study with a friend' and bolted out of the door before getting more questions.

You saw your boyfriend waving at you with his eyes squinted.

"It's so hot! You don't have class in the evening?" You didn't greet him with honey callings and instead, jumped to the question as he helped you with the helmet. Since he's 30 cm taller than you, he has to bend to your level.

Mingyu was your senior, and you guys met during an academic program. He approached you first, and after being pursued God-knows-how-many-times, you gave in.

He is your first-ever boyfriend, and you think he's sweet. He gives you flowers on dates, asking you if you're doing good at school, wishing you good nights and your favorite is his kisses. Both of you only went for the french kiss a few times due to your shyness, but other times, he'd love to shower you light kisses.

"Nope, but I had one in the morning," he said. You nodded slightly and got on his bike.

The place was pretty far from your home, but it's near to his college. He lives in the dorm and goes back and forth to your house if he wishes to meet you.

He chose a site under a massive tree and laid the mat he prepared. Mingyu pulled you closer to him, and it had you giggling because you know how he likes to be as close as he can with you.

"No, not this position," he pouted when you protested.

His doe eyes literally begged you. "I want to hug you from behind~" was what they meant.

This cunning man... He's up to no good today.

"In this weather... Ugh, I hate summer," you complied, nonetheless. He was smiling so big when he had you between his legs.

"You haven't kissed me. Come let me get one,"

"Mmmph!" You struggled with your head tilted to align with his lips. "No tongue please-"

Damn it. How come he's so good at kissing?

Mingyu finally released you after getting one long kiss. He was extremely satisfied.

You instantly took out your book and studied. He behaved the whole time and only after two hours, you finally put away the book.

"Are you done?"

You gasped in surprise and answered. "Yeah," you didn't know he wasn't sleeping. "I thought you were sleeping?"

"I wasn't although I was getting sleepy at first,"

You turned around and made a pitiful face. "You look tired. Is Uni hard?"

Mingyu held your hands and bobbed his head in agreement.

"I'm having a hard time in classes since you're not there,"

"Pssh! What a glib tongue you have," Honestly, that was smooth but you're too embarrassed to admit.

"I'm not lying. I miss you so much these days and you weren't replying to my messages,"

You felt guilty. "Sorry, I'm busy. I sleep early at night and sometimes I don't have time to look at my phone but! I promise you that I saw your messages in the morning,"

Mingyu caressed your hands while listening. "Do well on your college entrance exam. My university has the course you want to pursue,"

"Yeah, I've looked up about it. If I got there, maybe we can cohabit,"

Mingyu was stunned. He had never expected you to say that word.

"Did I hear wrong? You want to cohabit? Y/N, you really want to cohabit with me?" he cupped your face, and elation gurgled out of his throat.

You have a deep thought about it. You love being with Mingyu and you believed he does to so cohabiting with him isn't a bad idea.

"Yeah. Like, even if we broke up, we can be housemates,"

"I won't let that happen!"

"Who knows~ You might go to other girls," you shrugged.

He pinched your lips and said. "You know how to irk me, huh?".

However, he appeared upset afterward. You were just listing out the possibility and expected he would joke about it but he did not.

"Okay, okay I take that back. Naww, you think I'd let you leave me?" You tease him. "Don't you dare to hook up with another girl. You're mine, you got that?"

His face returned a smile. "Can't you see I'm madly in love with you?"

"I can see it, these always sparkle when you look at me, stare at me; these are the ones that keep spreading wide when you're listening to my nagging even I don't know what's so wonderful about it." your eyes gaze at his. You both lose all the focus on other things and it felt like there are only two persons in the world at that moment.

What you're about to say is what you're feeling and you're grateful for it.

"You're so head over heels for me,"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

If you like this story, you might as well check out the others here !

[procrastinatingnerd]

Hi everyone! So this was my first time taking part in the @osemanversebigbang but I had so much fun!! I can't wait to read everyone's entries! 💜

Title: Angel Rahimi And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Lunch Break

Characters: Angel, Juliet, Rowan, Jimmy, Lister, Bliss, two of Angel’s future uni friends (OCs).

Spoilers? Minor spoilers of important events in “I Was Born For This”.

Word Count: 3.6k

Ships: Bicci, one joke about Juliet/Rowan.

~Joan of Arc (Probably)

“I am so fucking tired”

“Right, time’s up, put your pens down.” The exam officer says from the front of the room. I scribble one last sentence before my hand gives out, and I all but throw my pen onto the desk, sighing as dramatically as I can. This week is a fucking nightmare. Exams and assignments are the piss. Fuck uni, I’m ready to drop out. Or drop dead. Either works, honestly.

As I leave the exam hall, I walk past some people from the students’ union. They’re handing out flyers for the Christmas ball next week. My housemates are all planning on going, but my friends and I planned our present swap for that night, so we’re going to spend it eating a fuck ton of snacks and watching the cheesiest Christmas films we can find. I can’t wait, I bought them each a bag of their favourite sweets from the American candy shop, it's going to be so much fun!

But that’s next week. Right now, all I want is to sit at a table that doesn’t have an exam paper on it, and eat something very greasy and very unhealthy. There’s a pizza place just on the edge of campus, run by some of the culinary arts students, and they make the best sauce ever. It’s pretty cheap too, which makes it a favourite for most people, especially at the end of a semester, when everyone’s bank accounts are running low.

I have about an hour until I need to be back in the exam hall, so I take full advantage of the outdoor seating and collapse into a chair after ordering. My pizza is brought out to me not long after, and I breathe in the smell. Nothing has smelt more gorgeous than the slices sitting in front of me. It’s a surprisingly warm day, for December at least, and for a moment, everything feels calm. I can hear a bird singing in a tree somewhere, other students are hanging around campus, most with their noses in their phones or in textbooks, and I actually let myself relax for a bit. I’ve done all the revision I can for this next exam, and I’m in desperate need of a break. I deserve this.

I pick up my first slice of pizza, and bring it up to my mouth. As I’m about to take a bite, however, my phone rings. I put the pizza down with a sigh and answer the phone without looking at who’s calling. Mum probably sensed I wasn’t doing any work, and is calling to check up on me.

“Hello?” I say tiredly.

“Angel, hi! Is this a good time??” I grin at the sound of Juliet’s voice.

“Hell yeah, it’s a perfect time! What’s up?”

“Wait, you don’t know why I’m calling?” Juliet says hesitantly. Shit. What have I forgotten now? I know it’s not her birthday. Wait, is it mine?? I swear exams rot your brain, have I actually forgotten my own birthday?

“No…?” I ask after internally monologuing for way too long.

“Oh my god, you don’t know??” Juliet screeches in my ear, “Angel go look at your phone, it’s urgent!”

Now very concerned, I put Juliet on speaker and, for the first time all morning, actually read the notifications filling my lock screen. I open the Twitter news one, and my mouth drops open in shock.

“Holy shit.”

On my screen is a news article with a headline that reads, “THE ARK’S JIMMY KAGA-RICCI AND LISTER BIRD’S SECRET RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED”, and just below it sits a large photo of Jimmy and Lister, standing outside a pub, kissing. I don’t believe it.

“Holy fu- Hold on a second. Mate, isn’t that the pub by Piero’s house?!” I say, bringing my phone as close to my face as I can, as if that’ll help me see better. There’s a loud shuffling noise on the other end of the line, and then I hear a gasp.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Juliet says. “Rowan said they were going on holiday, but I thought he meant abroad or something.” I smile at that. Ever since our little jaunt to Kent last summer, Juliet and I have kept in touch with the boys. We even have a group chat now; us and them and even Bliss is in it. I’m so glad we stayed friends.

At first, Rowan was really quiet, and if he did speak he and Juliet would almost always end up arguing, but they’ve been getting along quite well lately. I’m not saying I ship it or anything, I’ve learnt my lesson there, but I have to say, fangirl-to enemies-to lovers would make a wicked fanfiction trope.

“Did you see any of this coming?” Juliet continues. “Surely Jimmy would have said something to you?”

“He said he was dating someone, but didn’t want to give details because they were taking things slow. Well, that and that celebrity phone hacking scandal freaked him right the fuck out, remember?” I say.

"That's

right, he stopped talking on the group chat for like two weeks, didn’t he?” Juliet giggles back. “Well, nevertheless, I’m happy for them. They’re cute together.”

“Yeah, they are.” I grin again. “Oh my god, poor Rowan though! I’d hate to live with a couple, especially a new one! It’d be nauseating.”

“Oh I know, right? And imagine what’ll happen when they have their first fight!” Juliet gasps again. I shudder at the thought.

“I’m muting the group chat when that happens.” I joke.

“Not a bad idea.” Juliet laughs back, then pauses. “Oh, Angel, I’m sorry I’ve got the get going, but do you want to skype later?”

“Yeah, no problem! I’ve got a revision session at 6, but I should be free by 9ish?”

“Sounds perfect! See you then!” Juliet says, and with that, she’s gone, and I’m back to sitting alone with my pizza.

Jimmy and Lister. Holy shit. I don’t think anyone in the fandom saw this coming. Everything has been about Jowan, since the fandom started growing it’s the only ship that ever existed. No one bothered writing fics about any other pairings. The only Jimmy/Lister fics I ever came across were platonic ones, and even they made sure to mention Jimmy’s boyfriend Rowan.

Oh god, I hope they’re okay. The fans got so crazy when Bliss and Rowan’s relationship was exposed. Jimmy/Lister is the final nail in the Jowan coffin. Jimmy must be having the panic attack of his life! I’ve got to-

My phone rings again.

I look down at the screen, and see Jimmy’s name. I take a deep breath, and answer.

“Jimmy, hi! How are-”

“Have you seen it??”

“Yes.”

“Oh god. This isn’t how we wanted to tell you guys.”

“You sure? Because getting caught by the national press worked so well for you last time.” I tease. Silence. Oops, probably not the best thing to remind him of right now.

“Jimmy, you still there?” I say carefully. There’s a slight rustle on his end, which means he probably just nodded. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise. The fans will move on. They already did with Jowan, right?”

“But what if something happens again? Something like-”

“It won’t. You guys have better security now, and you’re doing less public events. You’re going to be fine.” I hope and pray that I’m saying the right things. Jimmy and I have gotten close lately, but I’m nowhere near as good at helping him deal with his anxiety as Rowan and Lister are. There’s more silence, until finally, Jimmy speaks again.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah I think you’re right. Thanks, Angel.”

“Course I’m right! If there’s one thing I know, it’s fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs, and I grin back. “And don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. This is happening to Lister too, and no doubt Rowan and Bliss will be there to help you. Just talk to them.”

“Thank you Angel, I’ll go do that now.”

“Perfect! Love you Jim, I’ll text you later.” I say, and the call ends.

He’ll be okay. He’s got too many people who love him not to be. I take another breath and put my phone down on the table. As soon as I do, however, it buzzes again, and I see Jimmy is trying to facetime me. Now very concerned, I answer it and hold the phone up so he can see my face properly.

“Jimmy, are you okay, what’s happened??” I ask anxiously, but he looks fine. He looks at me with a confused expression.

“Nothing, I’m just talking to the others, like you said.” He says. It’s only me and him on the call. I stare at him in silence for a moment.

“Jimmy, mate… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not any of them” I say slowly, and to my surprise, Jimmy laughs.

“Yeah I know, but I was kind of hoping to have you here, too, if that’s okay?” He says sheepishly. “It’s okay if you’re busy, it’s just that… I don’t know, you’re good with this stuff and you make me feel calm? Sorry, I know that’s a lot to just dump on you.” Jimmy doesn’t look at me directly, and I start to feel tears in my eyes.

“Well damn, Jim, I guess if you truly love me that much, I can stick around for a bit.” I laugh, and quickly glance at the time. “My lunch break is only halfway over, anyway, so I have plenty of time to hang out while you talk to the others.”

Jimmy seems to let out a breath, like he’d been holding it, and grins.

Just as I’m about to start talking again, I hear a ping, and Lister’s face appears on screen, followed by Rowan and Bliss.

“Hey Jimjam, you okay?” Rowan asks, looking as calm as ever. “Oh hey Angel.” He adds. I give him an awkward smile.

“Wait, Angel's here?” Bliss interrupts before Jimmy can answer. “Nice, how’s the week from hell going? Didn’t think we’d hear from you until you’d made it through.”

“Yeah it’s rough, but I’m getting there. This is a welcome distraction though.” I grin at her.

“So you’ve seen the pictures then. They look good, right?” Lister chimes in, before correcting himself. “I mean, it’s horrible they found us, fucking pricks, but you’ve got to admit we look good.”

“You can be so self-centred sometimes.” Bliss laughs.

“Come on Lister, this isn’t a joke.” Rowan chides him.

“Well, I guess he isn’t wrong..” Jimmy mumbles nervously and I see him smile a bit.

“See, Jimmy agrees with me!” Lister argues back at Rowan, who rolls his eyes.

“It’s still not something to laugh about.” Rowan says firmly. “Cecily’s already on damage control, cancelling some events, beefing up the security at others, and giving the tabloids hell. She’s also let your grandad know, Jimmy.”

“Wait, aren’t you guys all down there already?” I ask, confused.

“Nah we got back last night. That picture was taken when we went out for lunch the other day. Took their time printing it.” Lister says.

“Probably needed time to pad out their articles. Seriously, how can they write so many pages about two people dating?” Bliss adds.

“Probably whining about how Jowan is now well and truly dead.” Rowan rolls his eyes again. “Although I have to say, I’m pretty happy about that part.” I cringe slightly as he says that. I will never not regret being one of the Jowan fangirls.

“So Cecily’s already got a plan? That’s good, that’s a bit of a relief.” Jimmy speaks up, looking visibly more relaxed than he had sounded over the phone earlier.

“Yeah she’s got it sorted, so we can start planning our Christmas party!” Lister says, making the others groan.

“Lister what the hell makes you think we should be throwing a massive fucking party right now?!” Rowan says, his voice growing louder. Lister goes quiet, looking like he wants to shrink into his seat, before eventually speaking up again.

“Look, it doesn’t have to be anything big, I just mean… Angel, you’re gonna be in London with Juliet, right? Come over, drag Bliss with you, Jimmy can invite his grandad, Rowan you can bring Jade, and there you go, that’s our party!”

“That’s...actually a good idea.” Rowan says, surprised.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun!” Jimmy adds.

“I’m up for it, Angel, do you think Juliet will wanna come?” Bliss says.

“Hell yeah she would, let’s do it!” I reply with a massive smile on my face. Partying with Bliss and the boys sounds like the best way to spend my Christmas London trip. I’ll make sure to tell Juliet about it when I talk to her later. As I start planning all the food I’m going to bring over, and wondering what the boys’ flat will look like at Christmas, the conversation starts up again.

“You sure you’re doing alright, Jimmy? I can come back home if you need me to.” Rowan says, focusing things on the issue at hand again.

“No no, don’t worry, stay with your family. They’d kill me if I made you miss out on spending time with them.” Jimmy jokes. “I’ve got Lister here, and Cecily’s number if I need it. My head isn’t giving me too much grief right now, anyway.”

“Wait, Lister, you’re there with him?” Bliss asks.

“Yeah, check it out!” Lister says, before picking up his phone and moving. He takes us out of what I think was his room, through a hallway and comes out into a large living room, where we can see Jimmy on a sofa looking at his phone. “Say hi to the chat, Jim!”

Everyone laughs as Jimmy gives an awkward wave to Lister’s phone. Lister then hangs up and launches himself into view of Jimmy’s screen, and the two shuffle about until they’re practically sitting on top of each other, faces

squished together so the tiny phone camera captures them both. I hate how cute they look together.

“Alright, if you’re sure, Jimmy,” Rowan says, smiling for probably the first time this whole call.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jimmy smiles back. “This whole situation is terrifying, and I’m more than ready to hide in my room and not see another mad fangirl for the rest of my life, but... if I did that we’d never get to hang out with Angel again.” He finishes, biting his lip as if unsure of whether or not the joke will hit.

“Uh..ouch!” I clap my hand on top of my heart dramatically and laugh, while the others join in. “I’ll have you know I’ve abandoned my fangirl ways. Mostly. Sort of. Okay, not completely but I’m not shipping real people anymore, so that’s something, right?!”

Lister is giving Jimmy a look of what I can only assume is pride for making a decent joke during a time of peak anxiety, Rowan has his head in his hands, probably contemplating his life choices now that Lister seems to be rubbing off on Jimmy, and Bliss still looks shocked that such a joke came out of Jimmy’s mouth, not Lister’s. When things calm down again, I check the time and speak up again.

“Well this has been fun Jim, but I’m afraid I have mad fangirl duties to be getting back to. Shrines to build, fanfiction to write, you know how it is.” I say sarcastically.

“Thanks again, Angel, for being here, and listening. And you’d better be right about that fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs again, although this time I see his smile falter a bit.

“Hey, look at me,” I say, moving as close to the screen as I can without squishing my face on it. “Things will settle down before you know it, in the meantime, we’re all here for you. You’re not alone in this.” Rowan and Bliss nod in agreement, and I see Lister hug Jimmy closer. Jimmy takes a breath and nods as well.

“Thanks Angel. And good luck with your exam. We’ll see you over the holidays.” He smiles.

“Yeah you got this Angel, go smash it!” Bliss chimes in, giving me a thumbs up and a grin. I say one last goodbye to them all, and hang up.

I look back down at my pizza, still uneaten. I need to stop letting myself get distracted during phone calls. I can eat and talk to my friends at the same time. I’m usually a master at it.

“Fereshteh!” I look up again. Either I’m going loony, or someone just said-

“FERESHTEH!” I turn around and see Mollie and Christina barrelling towards me, with the most excitement I’ve ever seen on a students’ face during exam season. They crash into my table and both start talking at once.

“Have you seen??”

“Did you know??”

“How long have they been together?!”

“Oh my god is this why you won’t tell us about what happened in Kent?!”

“Woah, easy on the interrogation! Seriously, you guys need to work on your interview skills.” I put my hands up in surrender and laugh. Mollie rolls her eyes at me.

“So? Did they tell you or what?” She asks again. I roll my eyes back at her.

“You know I don’t want to tell you guys anything about the boys. They trust me, and I’m not going to fuck that up because of some shit a tabloid prints.”

“How dare you appeal to our morality and ethics, we want gossip dammit!” Christina giggles, lightly banging her fist down on the table.

“Then stick to the Twitter pages.” I stick my tongue out at her. Mollie and Christina are two of my housemates, and are part of the Ark fandom. I never planned on telling them about Kent, but they figured out who I was thanks to the pictures of me and Jimmy on the train. I didn’t think you could tell it was me, but fangirls are like master detectives. They figured it out in less than a week. They haven’t told anyone though, they’re good mates.

“So how are you feeling about all of this? Whether you knew or not, having it out in the press like this is a lot to handle, especially after last time.” Mollie says, now in serious mode.

“It is a lot, definitely, but they’ll be fine. They’ve had this happen before and they know what to expect from the fans. I just wish I could be there for them.” I say, sitting back in my chair.

“I get

that, it must suck that you guys are so far apart now.” Christina chimes in.

“I mean it’s not like we ever lived close to each other before. The only reason we even crossed paths over the summer was because I was staying with a friend. But yeah, being away from them all is kind of hard sometimes.” I sigh dramatically, making Mollie and Christina grin.

“Are you going to visit them over Christmas?” Christina asks.

“I’m definitely going to visit my friend in London again, for a day or two, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to see the boys.” I quickly lie. “They cut back on public events but they’re still really busy most of the time. And this,” I gesture to my phone “definitely won’t help.”

“We’ll keep an eye on fandom updates for you, and try to shut any mentions of Jowan down,” Mollie says, reaching across the table and giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I squeeze hers back and give her a grateful smile. I mostly stopped interacting with the fandom after meeting the boys, reading fanfiction, and discussing theories with other fans just feels weird and creepy to do when the people you’re talking about are your friends. So it’s nice that I have Mollie and Christina looking out for them, and doing what I can’t. Christina has a pretty big following on Tumblr, and Mollie’s a Twitter ace, so I trust them to hold their ground with the fandom.

“Okay, you don’t have to give us any details, but genuinely, what do you think of Lister and Jimmy as a couple? Because I don’t think the fandom could handle a breakup.” Christina says after a while, making me laugh.

“Pfft, yeah I don’t think the boys could handle a breakup, either.” I smile. “But honestly? I think they’ll be good for each other. Lister is good at helping Jimmy relax and step out of his anxiety bubble, and Jimmy can help reign in Lister’s chaotic energy. Plus they’re freaking cute together, I mean just look at this picture!” I finish, gesturing dramatically to my phone again.

“They are so cute!” Mollie nods in agreement. “I’m actually shocked no one thought to ship them together before.”

“That’s the Jowan storm, for you,” Christina adds. “Can’t believe we ever shipped that.”

“So gross.” I shudder at the thought. Suddenly the alarm I’d set this morning went off, making us all jump.

“What’s that?” Mollie asks. I check the screen and practically leap out of my seat.

“Oh shit, my exam starts in 10 minutes!” I say, gathering my stuff up as quickly as I can. I say my goodbyes to Mollie and Christina and start running back across campus to the exam hall.

I make it just in time, much to the invigilator’s chagrin, check my bag in at the desk at the back of the hall, and collapse into my assigned seat. The exam starts, and it’s only when it does that my stomach reminds me that I never actually ate lunch. Shit.

I start to silently scold myself for being so stupid, when my mind starts drifting to the video chat with Jimmy and the others. He and Lister looked so comfortable with each other. Makes sense, they've known each other for so long. But even still, Jimmy looked so much happier once Lister sat down with him, and Lister himself practically seemed at home with Jimmy’s arms wrapped around him. I smile at my exam paper.

I’m so happy for them.

[lauras-collection]

beyond being friends | part 1

Harrison Osterfield x Holland!Reader

|| Masterlist || Series Masterlist ||

Summary: What happens when you suddenly realise you’re attracted to your brother’s best friend?

When you and Harrison cross the line between friendship and something more, it makes everything more complicated than the average ‘being more than friends’ relationship. Because he’s your brothers best friend and you’re all living together.

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: mentions of toxic  (ex)friendships, smut in future chapters

A/N: THIS IS NOT A DRILL! It’s finally here! Can you believe it, because i can’t. I hope you like it!

special thanks to @duskholland​ for coming up with the title so i could keep the BBF abbreviation without downright calling it Brother’s Best Friend and being BBF’s biggest fan since the first time i told you about it 🥺

Feedback is always appreciated ❤️

You always thought that when you’d eventually move out, you’d move into a small flat in the city centre or student housing for uni. But you never imagined moving into a house that’s a literal five-minute walk from your parents' house with two of your brothers and their best friend. With Tuwaine moving out because of his new job, a room in Tom’s house became available and since Sam had his own place close to his cookery school, you’d been the first person to be asked to take the room. And you jumped at the opportunity.

You liked to be around your parents and Paddy, but you did crave a bit of the independence your older brothers seemed to have. Granted, Harry and Sam were only minutes older than you, but they never failed to remind you of that. Either way, you were now no longer living with your parents and it filled you with a sense of pride. 

Okay, you didn’t have to pay rent, just part of the additional costs, which was not really part of the typical experience when moving out, but you won’t complain. There has to be a benefit to your brother being an international movie star, right? 

“How do you feel now that you’re the only one living in this house who isn’t a Holland?” Tuwaine asks Harrison who’s leaning against the kitchen island his arms crossed over his chest.

“At this point, he might as well be” Sam interjects before Harrison can even open his mouth. “I swear he spends more time with our family than I do” 

“That’s because you’re too busy becoming the next Gordon Ramsey” Tom teases and nudges Sam’s shoulder. 

“Funny” Sam looks at him with a deadpan expression, you can’t help but snigger. 

“Hey, you’re the one who’s away for the majority of the year” You jump to Sam’s defence. Because if one of the Holland siblings is too busy for anything it’s Tom.

“Fair enough” Tom raises his hands in surrender. 

“How long was it that you’re leaving next time? Six months?” Harrison raises one eyebrow.

“Oh c’mon, it’s only four” Tom rolls his eyes with a chuckle. He’s laughing, but all of you know that he hates being gone from home for so long. That’s why he takes someone with him most of the times. This time, Harry will join him in New York, leaving you and Harrison living alone in the house.

You knew it was going to be rare that all four of you would be staying at the house at the same time, but it was still sad to think about. All of you are family people, you love to be around the people you love. And with Tom’s job sending him all around the world, you didn’t get to see him a lot. 

“I’m gonna miss you guys” You pout and Tom immediately comes over and gives you a hug.

“I’m gonna miss you, too.” Soon you feel another pair of arms wrap around you, without looking you know it’s Harry. And then the other boys join as well and you’re one big pile of people hugging in the middle of the kitchen.

*

“Morning” You mumble as you shuffle into the kitchen where Harrison is currently making himself a tea. He looks at you over his shoulder with a grin and you wonder how someone can have so much energy in the morning.

“Good morning, sunshine” He has to bite back a laugh and you only manage to grumble something unintelligible. You’re not really a morning person. 

Yesterday was as draining as a day of moving can be and then Sam stayed over because he drank a little too much and he kept kicking you during the night. So you’re certain you look like a mess but you don’t care, it’s not like Harrison has never seen you like this before. 

“Tea?” Harrison offers you a mug and you take it from him gratefully.

“Thanks” You let out a sigh as soon as you take the first sip. Harrison makes a mean tea. It’s got the perfect temperature, too.

“Rough first night?” He asks and pours himself a cuppa as well.

You must pull a face because Harrison is looking at you amused again. “Sam kicks in his sleep when he drinks” Both of you move to the table in the dining room. You let yourself fall into one of the chairs. “I swear he woke me up with a kick every five minutes” 

“Sucks to be you” Harrison laughs as you glare at him. You’re just about to give him the finger when a well-rested Sam enters the room. You can’t even react as quickly as he’s got your mug in his hands and drinks your tea.

“Hey! That’s mine!” You attempt to grab the mug from him, but because he’s a little shit he pulls it out of your reach and you’re too tired to fight for it. You watch dumbfounded as he goes back upstairs, with your tea.“I hate you” You call after him and slump down in your chair. 

“Hmm, you love me” Sam calls back. Of course, he’s right, but right now you’re not his biggest fan. You’re about to get up to make yourself another cup but Harrison beats you to it. 

“I’ve got it” 

“You’re already my favourite housemate, you know that?” You call after him and you hear him chuckle. Not long after, another perfect cup of tea is placed in front of you. 

“You’re the best” 

“Hey, what about me?” Harry comes strolling into the living room, his hands placed on his chest in mock offence. 

“You never make me tea in the morning, so you’re not even part of the competition.” 

“I’m wounded, sis” 

“Get over it, bro” Harry sits down next to you and ruffles your already messy hair. You don’t even muster up the energy to complain. Why are your brothers such a pain? Why can’t they be as lovely as Harrison who makes you tea without you even asking for it? 

“You look like shit,” Harry says as he rests his chin on his hand and looks at you.

“Thanks” – you glare at him – “That’s because I didn’t get any sleep because Sam kept kicking me” 

“Brutal” Harry doesn’t sound one bit sympathetic. 

“He’s staying in your room the next time he’s drunk” 

Harrison just watches the two of you with amusement while he sips his tea. 

Sam was right when he said that Harrison might as well be part of your family. For almost ten years he’s been Tom’s best friend now and you couldn’t even really remember what it was like without Harrison in your lives. You’d been twelve the first time he came over and to say you had a little bit of a crush on him would be… accurate. He’d intrigued you. With his blue eyes, blond hair and that little smirk he still had today he’d been the cutest boy you’d ever seen. 

Of course, he’d never seen you like that. What fifteen-year-old boy was interested in his best friend’s little sister? And you eventually grew out of that crush. Your high school friends on the other hand didn’t. And maybe that was why you were no longer interested in him. 

It took you a while to realise that the main reasons they always wanted to hang out at your place were Harrison and Tom. But when you did you felt a little lost. Was the only reason you had friends your brother? Was that all you could offer them? Because as soon as you refused to host any more sleepovers at your place you were quickly disregarded from the group. 

Now, a few years later, you could see that you’d rather have no friends than those girls, but at the time it was hard. The good thing about having four brothers, though, was that you’d never be without friends. Your brothers were your support system. They cheered you up and dragged you along to whatever mischief they were up to. And when Tom’s career took off and your old ‘friends’ tried to reach out to you, you just rolled your eyes. 

You were happy that Tom had found such great friends in Harrison and Tuwaine. Friends who were there for him and not his popularity or fame. Tom was a great judge of character and that was one thing you’d always admired about him. While you were a little naive at times and trusted people blindly, he knew who he could count on. And now, all of you were a tight-knit group of people you wouldn’t give up for the world.

 That’s why you aren’t even the slightest bit worried about living in the house with Harrison for four months. You’re close friends. What is there to worry about other than household chores? Living with him should be plain sailing, right? 

A/N: thank you for reading!!! this part was a little introduction to the story, I promise there’s going to be more happening in part two! I’ve got so much planned for this and I hope you’re as excited for the next 11 parts as i am 😅❤️ 

want to be tagged? you can find the link to my taglist form in my bio

mutuals that might be interested (I’m just gonna tag you for this first part): @terrifictomholland​ @stuckonspidey​ @selfcarecap​

everything taglist: @spidermanlondon​ // @averyfosterthoughts​ // @duskholland​ // @tutuabby28​ // @missevrythingg​ // @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ // @thenoddingbunny-blog​ // @emilykjh​ // @clara-licht​ // @hollandfanficlove​ // @calltothewild​ // @crybabyalexxx​ // @hazardosterfield​ // @calsthomas​ // @quaksonhehe​ // @geminiparkers​ // @thirzaholland // @tombrina​ // @outshineallthestars​ // @serendipitous-amor​ // @soincredible​ // @trustfundparker​ // @localfangirlx​ // @writertoo18​ // @r3ader // @viagracex​ // @skamlover200​ // @wonderlandfandomkingdom​ // @wehavetomakeourheartssitstill​ // @thearchersupremacy​ // @itstaskeen​ // @camimndess​ // @allyz​ // @technosoot​ // @fanficscuziranout​ // @parker-hollandx​ // @givebuckyhisplumsnow​ // @dangerouslovefanfic​ // @ertherealrose​ // @i-married-a-pineapple​ // @miraclesoflove​ // @bi-girlwrites-2000​ // @seasidetom​ // @katcontrreras​ // * @determined-overthinker​ * // @fallingforfics​ // @destinedbooklover // @parkerpeter24​

bbf taglist: @m-a-r-i-n-t​ // @mrs-hollandstan​ // @unicorn-princess-1999​ // @mimisparkle12​ // @bearsbeetsbarnes​ // @annathesillyfriend​ // @sydsquibbles​ // @vapingisntmything​ // @littlebookbengal​ // @quethekillerqueen​ // @love-makes-all-things-beautiful // @swiftmind​ // @pearly-pisces​ //

harrison osterfield taglist: @hjoficrecs​ // @lolychu​ // @hazardosterfield​ // @hollandbroz-n-haz​

series taglist: @softholand​ // @svturtles​ // @cloverrover​

[ktheist]

muses. brother’s best friend / housemate / touchy!yoongi

min yoongi was everything you hated in a man. clingy, sleeps too much and sloth-y. if anyone had eyes, they’d know that you’re a clingy hug away from committing murder on campus.

“hey, pumpkin,” a dead weight snakes around your shoulders and a hand wraps around your wrist, directing the fry you’re about to pop into your mouth to his mouth.

“what the-” venom drips off your words.

“babe, i missed you!” jennie whines, wounding her arm around min yoongi’s friend, who happens to be her boyfriend.

in fact, your world going down a wayward spiral started with jennie’s secretive ‘i’m texting a boy, he’s kinda cute!’ to a full out ‘i’m dating kim taehyung!’ a month later. and with that, came the grueling begging of her trying to get you to agree to go to dinner as a ‘her friends meets his friends’ kind of thing.

you thought to put up with it once but for some reason, after a few hang outs too many, min yoongi has come to calling you a ridiculous nickname and putting his hands on you whenever he sees you.

“they’re so in love, aren’t they?” the boy next to you snickers while his free hand snakes down to your thigh.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

the whine that slips out of his mouth doesn’t bring you satisfaction even if you’re the one who opt for pinching his hand with all your might.

he looks at you, eyes looking like the midnight lake, sparkling with moonlight, “my hand slipped. did you have to pinch me that hard?”

“oh hey, lisa,” hoseok greets your blonde haired, doll-like friend, “we’re having a match with xxx university, you wanna join?”

at the mention of the long standing rival of your uni, lisa’s delicate features break into that of an angel of death, “the fuck? they have the nerve to fuck with us? that-”

“oh wow, she’s fired up, isn’t she?” yoongi chuckles, his breath fanning your cheek.

you still your hand from coming up to fan your face. why is it hot all of a sudden?

“yeah, her ex-best friend goes there and they’ve been competing against each other in dance ever since,” you say plainly, not realizing it’d spark a different kind of fire.

a loud smack echoes in the air as you look at the hand on the table and up at the owner of said hands, “we were never friends! let alone best friends!”

“o-oh yeah, my bad, you and your non-best friend’s been trying to take each other down since you both left high school,” you lean backwards to widen the distance between her hand and your face but consequentially, you end up leaning into min yoongi who gladly welcomes you into his arms, locking his hands together over your chest and trapping you in a hug.

“so, you guys gonna practice before the match?” yoongi’s ask is what makes her snap her head at the man happily munching on her meal after she had her attention averted to a certain non-best friend.

“hobi, we’re gonna practice till our limbs feel like falling off,” and with that, she drags the man away, his whines and begging to finish the (her) food falling on deaf ears.

for the briefest moment, things seem to have calmed down. that is, until you turn your head to the smiley boy clinging onto you like a koala.

“what? i saved you from lisa’s wrath.” he states, as if sensing your own wrath coming to surface if he doesn’t-

“get off me,” you order, glaring daggers at the boy.

“make me,” he smirks, the gummy smile now gone and for some reason, your heart’s beating too fast than your body can handle.

“seriously, what’s wrong with you? jimin’s right there, why can’t you go and cling onto him? at least he’s your friend. i barely even know you,” you sigh, feeling his arms loosening around you yet your chest is the one clenching as he drops his gaze.

“___, you’re breaking my heart,” he bumps his head to yours, those dark brown eyes glinting with a sort of deviousness that you know will do you no good if you hang around him any longer, “especially when we’ve kn-”

“my class is starting in ten.”

he doesn’t stop you when you stand up, his arms slipping away from your body like withered vines on stone wall.

that’s the last you see of min yoongi. well, until you’re walking out of the ecology club, fist smacking against that sore spot on your shoulder as you trail behind your club mates. the meeting about the outdoor event to raise awareness on carbon print ended a little later than you thought it would and by the end of it, everyone’s like a walking corpse.

“i thought you’d never come out,” a voice husks from behind you as your body freezes and your heart jumps to your throat.

“what the fuck, min yoongi?” you glare at the gummy smiley boy who doesn’t seem to bear an ounce of guilt for causing your soul to astral project into oblivion.

“did i scare you?” he chuckles, “don’t worry, johnny won’t get you as long as i’m here.”

“johnny?” you feel your eyebrows coming together in annoyance rather than confusion.

“you know, the ghost that’s living in the ecology club room,” he raises his eyebrows twice as if insinuating something.

you scoff.

“oh yoongi, you’re been waiting for ___?” jisoo waves from a few steps ahead, “you guys going back together?”

“no- wait-” you’re about to run after your friends when an arm wraps around your waist and pulls you to a warm body.

“yeah, drive safe guys!” the boy waves, smiling that stupid smile until the car’s out of sight.

placing one hand on his chest, you push him away from you until you’re at least three feet apart, “seriously, why’d you have to wait for me? i could’ve gone home on my own.”

“what do you mean why? because i wanted to see you sooner,” he grins, arms wrapping around your waist as he rests his chin on top of your head.

“w-what the hell,” you fumble with your words, turning away as your cheeks flare up with warmth, “let’s just go,” you say, holding onto yoongi’s pinky finger and dragging him with you.

you get home before 10 o’clock despite yoongi’s whining to take the longer route home along the river.

“oh, you’re back? whew, i was worried there for a sec,” seokjin’s voice rings throughout the house as he greets you from his room, “but i shouldn’t be since yoongi’s with you. it’s lucky you guys got into the same uni.”

“i could’ve gone home with my friends,” you say almost sulkily, glaring at the boy who’s walking towards his own room as if he’s ready to black out as soon as his head hits the pillow.

“yoongi, you’re not gonna have dinner?” seokjin asks.

“nah, i’ll sleep first.” and with that, the door of the room across from your brother’s clicks shut.

“he really needs to get his sleep schedule fixed,” the older man shakes his head whilst you place the plate of fried rice seokjin made into the microwave.

“let him be, he’s a grown man, he can take care of himself. you cooking for him is more than-” you can’t even finish your sentence when seokjin’s fast padded footsteps crosses the hallway and to the kitchen. hands shaking your body more than an earthquake could.

 “___, do you... do you really see yoongi as a man? are you guys dating?!” seokjin’s concerned gaze bores into yours, offering you no escape unless you answer him.

“no? i mean, he’s grown - we all grew up, seokjin, we’re in uni,” you say in a matter of factly. every once in awhile, seokjin gets a wake up call that-

“oh thank god,” he envelops you into a bear hug, “i thought my baby sister was interested in my best friend.”

well, guess that wake up call just got pushed back.

you suppose you get where seokjin’s coming from. just three little kids with mismatched ages growing up together in the same neighborhood. you climb trees together, scrape your knees falling off the swings and treat each other to health.

but it was seokjin who introduced you to yoongi. back then, whoever knew whoever first, got the first friend privilege. it was just some dumb rules the kids from the neighborhood came up with. and everyone wanted to be friends with min yoongi who had the chubbiest cheeks and the cutest smile. but seokjin always prided himself to be yoongi’s best friends and the latter never denied it. in a way, the two of them had a sort of bond that nobody could touch, let alone break.

something like brothers for life kind of thing.

because of that, min yoongi had always been your brother’s best friend. 

“___, you’re not asleep yet?” a voice rings from behind you where the hallway to your bedrooms lie.

“i’ve got some club stuff to settle,” you say, not away from your laptop as you sit on the spot between the couch and coffee table. an energy drink a few inches away.

“you’re always so busy,” tresses of soft hair tickles your cheek as a head leans on your shoulder, the warmth of another body making you all warm inside.

you sigh, a smile playing on your lips. at times like this, when min yoongi’s barely awake - there’s no way you can push him away, is there?

“you’re the one that has too much free time on your hand,” you say, shaking your head.

the sound of the tapping keyboard fills the otherwise silent room. you thought he’d fallen asleep with his head on your shoulder.

“...you...” he murmurs under his breath, “...i like you.”

your cheeks heat up, body instinctively recoiling from the body that’s leaned up against you as if - as if you’re just realizing that min yoongi is, in every sense of nature, a man.

a shirtless man, at that.

it wasn’t unusual to see him and your brother walking around shirtless since there’s not much to see. but you’ve always known yoongi’s not half bad, he’s got some underlying abs from those days of playing basketball in high school and he’s in the basketball team in uni.

so why are you getting all embarrassed seeing a shirtless min yoongi stare up at you like he’s waiting for you to say something that will make him or break him - now?

x

note. a little skit from my fried brain. hope yall enjoyed!

[jaskierswolf]

The Grass is Greener Pt.3/3

CW: More shitty parents...

Previous

Dinner was an absolute nightmare. The food itself was delicious. They ordered from the lovely little Italian place in town that was one of Jaskier’s favourites for board game night with his housemates. Geralt and Jaskier both ordered pizza, which was the totally normal thing to do when ordering takeaway. His mother ordered sea bass with new potatoes, spinach and mediterranean vegetables.

Ciri was snoring quietly in her pram. Geralt had popped home to get it whilst they were waiting for the food as Ciri threw a bit of a tantrum when they’d tried to get her back into her carry cot.

They were eating on the patio table. Jaskier had insisted. They had spent over two hours trying to clear up the garden and his mother was going to fucking appreciate it, seeing as she’d found every reason to pull apart his house.

The carpet was the wrong colour, the oven was shit, his bedroom was a mess (it wasn’t), the bathroom stank even through the jammy door (it kind of did, thanks Regis), the windows were filthy, there were too many beds…

It went on and on and on.

Geralt, who was supposed to be helping to charm his darling mother, was just glaring at her across the table. Jaskier was trying to joke and make awkward conversation but the tension was just too much. He couldn’t do this. Everything he said was met was snide comments from his mother, who’s current favourite topic was Geralt being a single father, because how could Jaskier ever be good enough to help raise a child. Geralt didn’t once defend himself against his mother’s remarks which Jaskier found infuriating but he was immensely glad that Geralt was there to serve as a buffer. He was struggling to remember how he coped in past years without Geralt’s assistance. How on earth had he managed this battle on his own every year?

Geralt had held his hand throughout the entire dinner, which was both amazing and really awkward when it came to eating. Luckily pizza didn’t require a knife and fork. Occasionally, Geralt would lean in to kiss his cheek or brush Jaskier’s fringe from his eyes. Jaskier hadn’t known what to expect from fake dating Geralt. He’d assumed that he would be the better actor out of the two of them, but his mother was throwing him off and Geralt seemed to have slipped into the role as if he were born to love Jaskier, and didn’t that just make him feel all giddy?

Still he could do without the death glares being shot towards his mother whenever she said… well, anything really.

“Geralt. A word, please.” He said firmly, squeezing Geralt’s hand and standing up.

Geralt grunted and turned to flee into the house. Jaskier sighed. “Mother, can you watch Ciri?”

His mother nodded and stabbed at the poor dead fish on her plate. He nodded back and ran into the house.

“Geralt!” He called after his neighbour.

Geralt was now the one pacing in the living room. “What the fuck is her problem?”

Jaskier frowned. Why was he so angry? It wasn’t as if they were actually dating…

Jaskier shrugged and tapped out a rhythm on his leg with his fingers as he tried to recap an entire lifetime of terrible parenting as quickly as possible. “I’ve always been the problem child, according to my parents. I came out when I was sixteen after years of running around in my sister’s high heels and dresses. Mother and Father didn’t exactly welcome the news and proceeded to ignore it until I left for uni. When I said I was going to study music they all but kicked me out the house. Apparently being bi was tolerable but not having a ‘proper’ career was a step too far. After uni, I sofa-surfed for a few years until Pris suggested we all get a house together, that’s when Regis practically adopted us and… well… here we are. Present day.”

Geralt put a hand on his shoulder and then pulled him into a hug.

Jaskier yelped, surprised by the sudden show of affection. “Geralt?” He mumbled against Geralt’s chest, trying to ignoring the blooming love in his heart.

“You don’t deserve that.” He grumbled. “Any of that.”

Jaskier pulled back and furrowed his brow. “Yeah, and how would you know?”

Geralt… blushed?

“Geralt?” Jaskier asked, cupping Geralt’s cheek.

“When you moved in you made me cupcakes.” Geralt mumbled.

Jaskier stared in shock at the man in front of him. He’d forgotten about that. They’d been a complete mess and the icing had leaked all over the bottom of the box, but they’d still been edible and Geralt had insisted that Jaskier stay for a cup of tea to try them.

It had just been Geralt in the house at the time. He’d still been waiting for the paperwork to be finalised to be approved as a potential adoptive parent and the house had seemed so empty. It was the same size as Jaskier’s and Jaskier shared with four other people, well, three others and Valdo Marx. Apparently, Geralt had come into some money following a death of a family friend and he’d been able to afford a family sized home. Jaskier had just seen the hot guy next door and decided to spontaneously make cupcakes in a half-baked attempt, pun intended, to get laid. It hadn’t worked and Jaskier had settled for pining for his hot neighbour instead.

How had he forgotten about that?

“Geralt.” He breathed.

“And when I got the flu you came round with groceries and made soup.” Geralt added.

Jaskier swallowed nervously. “I was worried about you. You hadn’t left the house for days and I don’t think I’d even seen you miss a day of work before. You leave every morning like clockwork.”

“You’re a great person, Jaskier.” Geralt chuckled almost nervously, in a way that was making Jaskier’s heart run far too fast in his chest. “And seeing you with Ciri, Jask, you’re incredible.”

Jaskier scoffed trying to calm the torrent of feelings in his poor bisexual heart. “This fake dating is getting to your head, Geralt.”

Geralt hummed and pulled away from him. “Right.”

“Can you please just try and get along with my mother until I can send her off to the hotel room she inevitably booked so she doesn’t have to stay with us, me, with me.” Jaskier stumbled over his words. “Please?”

“Then we can get the pictures for Yen and I’ll be out of your hair.” Geralt grumbled.

Jaskier laughed nervously. Why did that suddenly sound like a death sentence?

God, he was already addicted to Geralt being in his life.

“Right.” He mumbled.

They both sulked back outside to the patio where his mother was cooing at baby Ciri in her pram.

Jaskier turned to face Geralt who had a matching confused expression on his face.

“Geralt, she is just the cutest.” His mother cooed.

“What the…” Jaskier muttered.

“Thank you, Mrs Pankratz.” Geralt said slowly, as if he didn’t trust his words.

His mother bopped the young girl on the nose then turned up to look between Geralt and Jaskier.  “Now then, what’s up with you two? Julian, don’t tell me you’ve managed to ruin your relationship with this young man already!” She snapped.

Jaskier gaped. What the fuck?

This wasn’t his life.

Dear god this wasn’t his life.

Geralt wrapped his arm around Jaskier’s waist pulling Jaskier towards him and placing a kiss on Jaskier’s temple. Jaskier’s heart fluttered in his chest he couldn’t help but lean into Geralt’s embrace.

“Not at all.” Geralt said in his lovely deep voice that made Jaskier’s insides turn to goo.

“Geralt was just worried about me.” Jaskier chimed, the fake smile back on his face. “All sorted now.”

“Worried?” His mother scoffed and then turned to give Ciri a smile that, if Jaskier didn’t know better, would have been described as motherly. “Whatever for?”

Geralt smiled too sweetly. It looked wrong on his face. Jaskier gulped and looked between them. “He’s tried so hard to make you proud, Mrs Pankratz and you have not been kind. As his guest you should be grateful that he’s invited you into his home. Yet everything he does is flawed in your eyes. Makes me wonder, is there something wrong with your eyes? Because your son is… he’s one of the best people that I’ve had the pleasure to meet.”

“Excuse me?!” Jaskier’s mother shrieked and Jaskier decided it would be rather lovely if a big hole would just open up under his feet right.

“And yet, you look at my daughter as if she is an angel.” Geralt growled.

“Oh well. She is rather amazing.” Jaskier mumbled.

“If only you had treated your son with the same respect, maybe we could have gotten along better.” Geralt carried on as if Jaskier hadn’t said a word.

“You have no right!” His mother pointed at Geralt. “No right!”

Geralt shrugged. “Perhaps, but Jaskier was too good to say what needed to be said.”

“Geralt, love.” Jaskier squeezed Geralt’s hand, probably too hard. “You promised.”

Geralt closed his eyes and growled. “Jaskier, I can’t just sit here and listen to her bullshit.”

“Why not?” Jaskier pouted. “I’ve done it for years. One day, Geralt, you had to do it for one fucking day. Why couldn’t you?”

“Because I love you!” Geralt snapped.

Jaskier froze and stared at Geralt.

It was an act.

It was all an act.

Except…. what if it wasn’t?

Jaskier lunged forwards and pulled Geralt into a bruising kiss. He needed to, he needed Geralt like he needed the oxygen in the air. He’d been pining after this man for a year and hearing those words, fake or otherwise, it was too much. He felt a prick of tears in his eyes and he sniffed.

“Oh bollocks.” He mumbled against Geralt’s lips. “Fuck, Geralt, you made me cry. You bastard.”

Geralt pulled back to stare intently into Jaskier’s eyes, searching for the answer to some unasked question. “Jask?”

He sniffed and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I love you too, Geralt.”

Geralt brushed his thumb across Jaskier’s cheek and laughed. “You promised you wouldn’t.”

Jaskier snorted. “You promised to be nice to my mother.” He countered.

They both ignored the squeak of protest from the woman in question.

Geralt scoffed. “Some promises are worth breaking.”

“Can someone please explain, what is going on here?” His mother snapped, causing the girl in her arms to start screaming again.

Jaskier gave Geralt another chaste kiss and winked before turning to face his mother with his hands on his hips.

“Mother, dearest. Please return Ciri to her father and kindly fuck off.” He sneered.

“You can’t talk to me that way!” She protested as Ciri was pulled from her arms.

Jaskier tilted his head. “Oh ho ho! I think I can. You!” He pointed at her. “Kicked me out, or do you not remember that lovely little detail?”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“I’m really not. Now as wonderful as all this has been. You should know that this house is not just mine, I live here with my friends.” He snorted. “As if I could afford the rent on a house like this on my own, Geralt here, is not my boyfriend—”

“Yet.” Geralt added with a smirk.

“—Yet.” Jaskier agreed and winked at Geralt. “He agreed to help after spending over two hours mowing the lawn because it was so overgrown it resembled a small forest. The only reason he helped was because I have no idea how to actually do basic gardening tasks because I am terrible at anything that isn’t music and writing.”

“Jaskier.” Geralt growled.

“Oh and falling in love with my incredible gorgeous neighbour before he even asked me out on a date. It’s an oddly specific talent but has served me remarkably well, I think.”

“Julian!” His mother gasped.

“Oh and I did babysit Ciri a few times, but get this… I didn’t even ask for money!” He laughed at the shock on her face. “I did it because Geralt asked me to and she’s actually rather cute.”

“I can’t listen to this.” His mother started to head back to the front door.

Jaskier was absolutely fucking delighted! Oh he should have done this years ago! He should never have let the woman back into his life. It had only hurt him, but then again would he have tried to fix the garden without her? Would he have ever worked up the courage to ask Geralt out?

Probably not…

He scoffed.

She would hate that he had only gotten a boyfriend because of her meddling.

“I’m leaving!” She called over her shoulder as she stormed out the front door.

“Thank fuck for that!” Jaskier waved after her and then turned to go back in the house.

He almost ran straight into Geralt who was stood right behind him with Ciri in one arm.

Thirteen years he’d put up with his mother’s torture. More than that if you counted the years before he’d come out. All that time trying to be someone he wasn’t just to please her when he could have just left her and his shitty family behind.

Why had he’d been so scared?

Geralt pulled him into a hug and kissed his hair with a hum.

Jaskier scowled as the thought hit him. “Geralt?”

“Hmm.”

“Did you really mean it?” He asked as he rested his head on Geralt’s chest, listening to his  heartbeat.

“Yeah. Did you?” Geralt pulled back so they could see each other’s faces.

Jaskier laughed and cupped Geralt’s face in his hands. “Oh, dear heart, I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

Geralt tilted his head and glanced down at Ciri. “And you don’t mind, about Ciri?”

Jaskier giggled.

“Geralt, darling.” He kissed his new boyfriend chastely and then crossed his arms, putting on his best scary Geralt face. “The child must not be an obstacle.”

Geralt shoved him and he fell over laughing, as Geralt stalked back into the living room.

“I regret nothing!” He called after Geralt before scrambling to his feet and chasing after his grumpy, and still insanely hot neighbour/boyfriend. 

________

More witcher fun!

[sinner-as-saint]

Wherever You Stray, I Follow - 4.

Demon!Bucky x Reader 

Series Masterlist

Run-through: Your grandfather left you his manor in his will, and since you had no plans to settle down elsewhere after graduating uni, you decide to finally move in and make the manor your new home. Except, you weren’t ready for it; not the manor, nor the many secrets it contained. You remember your grandfather’s last words and you intended on figuring out what he meant. All you knew was that there was something more to this house, something darker. Upon uncovering unusual family secrets, you happen to find love where you least expected it to be - hidden in the dark. You’d always been a fan of cute, endearing and perfect love stories, however this one is anything but. This one doesn’t have prince charming who will save you but rather a cocky, sarcastic, borderline annoying but irresistible being who lures you over to the dark side. And you follow... 

Themes throughout the series: demon!bucky, smut, angst, fluff, language, supernatural elements, paranormal romance, mentions of death and blood.

You knew it from the beginning. You knew this was never going to be easy. But hell, you didn’t know dealing with a demon would be this fucking hard. 

And confusing. And infuriating. And just downright maddening. 

You should’ve known better. You should’ve seen the awkward silent treatment coming from miles away. Because here you were now, the morning after the argument which resulted in, not surprisingly, steamy sex again - and still not a word exchanged between you and your unusual housemate. 

You hadn’t realized how much his touch had become a habit until he didn’t reach out to hug you, kiss you, hold you or just put his hands on you in any way that morning. And right now, as you sat across from each other at the dining table for breakfast, the heavy silence between you two was even more infuriating than the demon himself. 

You watched him discreetly. He munched on toast as he read some random book. You could tell his mind wasn’t in it but he had to make it seem like he was occupied. Just so he could avoid confrontation. 

Vis walked into the room, refilling both your cups with coffee and you tried to wait until he was gone to say something to Bucky but when he so leisurely flipped a page of his book, acting like you don’t exist, acting like all was well in the world when you were sitting just a few seats down the table, confused and borderline fuming - you couldn’t contain it anymore. 

“Are you seriously going to sit there and not say a word to me?” Your calm, but unquestionably bitter tone was a signal for Vis to leave the room as quickly as possible. He sent you a look before leaving but you’d probably get back to him later. Right now, your sole focus was Bucky. 

Ridiculously handsome in his tight white t-shirt and jeans, acting like he didn’t have a care in the world. He lifted his eyes off his book and stared into yours. “What was that, Princess?” He asked, his tone too casual for a morning following a night like last night. Even that was infuriating. 

You took a deep breath and said, keeping your composure, “Why are you pretending like we have nothing to talk about? What about last night? Are you gonna just pretend that never happened?” 

He looked at you like he was amused. “Which part exactly?” He asked, and sipped on his coffee like he didn’t recall any of what went down last night. 

The part where you got mad because I left you alone all day. The part where you accused me of using you. The part where you hinted at wanting to be out of here as soon as possible. The part where you fucked me like you hated me. The part where you reminded me that I was yours and left me alone all night. The damn part you’re refusing to acknowledge, you stubborn demon from hell! 

“Nothing.” You muttered and stood up quickly. Your chair screeched on the marble flooring as you threw your napkin down on your unfinished plate and walked out of the room. 

There was so much to be said. So much to be clarified and talked about, so much misunderstanding to clear up. But neither of you were certain of the other’s true intentions so the tension from that morning remained stagnant for the entire day. 

The weather outside was foggy and rainy, as always. So you were both confined to the manor, and yet you managed to avoid each other all day. You went to the study again and there, you reluctantly admitted to yourself that you genuinely couldn’t look for the grimoire. 

It could be because you had gotten so used to his annoying company that being in that room alone was almost crippling. Or, perhaps because deep down you didn’t want to find that damned grimoire, because the sooner you do the sooner Bucky would leave. 

So you just sat there, doing nothing but overthinking. What do you want? What does he want? Why is he so confusing? And why the fuck do you miss him so much when he is literally in the same house as you? 

You missed him. And it had only been just one morning spent in silence, but you still missed him. His annoying smirks in the morning. His terrible jokes. His lazy but warm hugs. His kisses. His adorably weird habit of holding your hand as you two walked around the house together. ‘Just… like holding your hand.’ He had said once when you asked him why he did it. You couldn’t even look at the desk without being reminded of last night. 

You walked over to the large windows and looked out of the study, down at the corner of one of the back gardens where you and he had begun gardening one day but then gave up two hours later when it started thundering. You smiled at the thought of how you had showered together that afternoon. Your smile disappeared as you felt a heavy weight on your chest. An absence. A void. 

What do you want, Bucky? 

---

And so the rest of the day passed in isolation. Bucky was nowhere to be found and you remained in the study room. 

That evening, as you were sitting on one of the couches, finishing Book 1 of ‘Paradise Lost’, Bucky walked into the room. You watched him walk in and close the door behind him from your peripheral vision and chose not to acknowledge his presence. Like he did to you this morning. 

Then you saw him walk closer to you and he plopped down on the couch opposite of the one you were sitting on. You kept your eyes on your book, your hands itching to reach out and touch him. Your legs shaking as all you wanted to do was walk over and sit down on his lap instead. 

You felt his stare on your face. Unmoving, burning and intense. You tried to ignore it but it prickled your skin, like tiny little daggers being thrown at your face by the stubborn and complex demon. Finally, after several minutes passed by in painful silence you rolled your eyes and snapped, “What?” You lowered your book just a little to look at him. 

“Nothing.” He answered too quickly, too casually. Then he gave you the smirk that made your whole body tingle in lust. “Fan of Milton’s Satan, I assume? You look the type.” 

Normally you would snap back with a playful, sarcastic comment, but given you were now apparently at war with the gorgeous demon you said, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You sounded more defensive than you intended. Mainly because looking at him and not being able to be close to him was making you feel like someone was keeping you from your favorite but destructive drug. 

You were angry at the distance he was creating between you by refusing to communicate. You were angry thinking about what state you would be in if he leaves for good. How would you walk the hallways of this manor again? With him gone and his memories left behind in every inch of this house. How would you sit at that dining table alone again? How would you ever step into this study room and look at that damned desk again? How would you sleep on that bed? How would you go down to the basement again? 

He was right in front of you but the thought of him ever not being in front of you was tormenting you already. And since you couldn’t let all those emotions show, you bared your teeth and showed your anger and irritation instead. A terrible defense mechanism for when you refuse to acknowledge your own emotions, really. 

He brought his hand up and lazily stroked his stubble. Those hands caught your attention. Those perfect hands and all you could think about was all those times they were wrapped around your neck, keeping you in place while he pounded into you… 

He smirked and said, “I’m just saying. You look like the type who tries very hard to like the good guy but then somehow always falls for the dark, morally grey one. Not the knight in shining armor but the antihero who makes you feel conflicted but leaves you wanting more. Am I right?” 

You sat up straighter in your seat. “If you’re gonna sit there and judge my preferences, then I’d suggest you go to bed and ignore me like you have been all day.” 

He looked as cocky as always. “So, you missed me all day?” He dared ask. 

You rolled your eyes at him, then looked back down at your book but were unable to focus on a single word. “Get out, Bucky.” 

He chuckled. “If only it were that easy getting rid of me.” 

Oh for fuck’s sake. “What do you want, huh? You say something then you mean something else. Then you say some other thing but then you act some other way, and then I have to decipher your words and actions and figure out what you actually mean. It’s exhausting.” You exclaimed, keeping your voice low and steady. “Just say it, what the fuck do you want?” 

You weren’t just asking what he wanted right now, but also in the long run. You just hoped he understands. 

His answer was both what you wanted, but also didn’t expect to hear, which only confused you even more. “You.” He said, easily like his mind was made. Like he had never been so sure of something before. 

You… the word echoed in your head. If only it were that easy. 

You closed the book and tossed it on the coffee table as you stood up to leave. He followed. You almost reached the door but he grabbed you by the hand and turned you around so you faced him. He kept his hands on your shoulders, stared into your eyes, and said, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. I’m sorry for the things I said, the accusations I made. I’m sorry. I was upset. And angry, and…” his voice trailed off. He looked troubled. 

That was the first in weeks where you felt like Bucky was hiding something. “Why?” You asked, “Why were you so upset?”

He waited for a moment or two, as if contemplating if he should tell you. He did. “Because you’re mine. And I don’t necessarily like the idea of another male touching what’s mine.” You were still processing his confusing words when he leaned in and kissed up and down your neck gently. “I’ve missed you all day.” He confessed against your skin. 

You tipped your head back and instinctively wrapped your arms around his shoulders as his hands dropped down to your waist. And there he was, successfully dragging you under his spell again. You sighed as he gently nibbled along your throat, “This is insane.” You mumbled. 

He pulled away and looked into your eyes, “Me kissing you is insane?” 

You lightly, playfully pushed him away but he didn’t move an inch. “You know what I mean.” 

He chuckled into your ear and kissed along your jaw, whispering, “Do I?” 

You whined, leaning into his touch, and gave up arguing with him. His strong arms pulled you closer and pressed your lower body against his, you gasped at the contact. This felt like déjà vu, and now he would somehow fuck you so good for so long that you’d fall asleep right after and you would end up not having the conversation which needed to be had, again. 

So instead of just going with the flow, you pulled away from him and blurted out, “We should have a drink, don’t you think so?” Perhaps you could get him to talk after a drink or two had taken the edge off. Or perhaps you were doing it for yourself, since you knew you’d never be able to have this conversation sober. Or perhaps, it would hurt less if you were sober. 

He looked at you, surprised for a moment but then nodded when the idea didn’t sound half bad. “Sure, what do you want?” 

You thought on it then said, “Well, all we have is a wine cellar downstairs so-,” 

He smirked. “No we don’t.” 

You cocked your head to the side, frowning, “And how do you know?” 

He just grabbed your hand and walked you over to the corner of the study room. “It’s a secret few people know.” He whispered even though there was no one else in the room as he pushed one of the bookshelves along the wall and hidden behind it was an old wooden door, with a rusty knob. Bucky grabbed your hand again and opened the door, walking in with you following closely behind. 

You wrapped your arms around his bicep and stuck to his side as you entered the mysterious, secret room. “What is this?” You asked in surprise and wonder. Normally finding out that there exists a secret room that you didn’t know about in the house that you’ve been living in would freak you out, but with Bucky there with you - you weren’t freaked out. Holding his hand, you knew you were safe. 

Bucky turned one of the switches on and the sole chandelier in the middle of the room lit up, dimly. It was a replica of the basement. A secret drawing room, meant for when one would want peace and quiet. It had no windows, but a vent. The room was surprisingly cozy. 

“It’s one of the many secrets in this manor. I’ll show you all of them one day.” He said so easily, like he had a future planned for you and him. But you were too busy admiring the room to reflect on what he said. 

“How did you… Oh right, you built it.” You corrected yourself. “When you said you built this manor, you meant, actually built it? All by yourself?” You asked. For some reason the image of a shirtless, sweaty Bucky building something popped into your head and refused to leave. 

Bucky grabbed your hand, dramatically twirled you around under the chandelier and pulled you closer again. You giggled and looked up at him as he said, “Demons are very capable creatures, you know?” He leaned closer and whispered, “Very skilled with our hands, and body.” 

You chuckled and pushed him away. And just like that, the tension from earlier disappeared. In this moment, all was well. You watched him as he walked over to the minibar in the corner and grabbed two glasses, poured amber colored liquid in both and brought it over to you. 

You accepted the glass, and took a quick sip at the same time as he did. The liquor ran smoothly down your throat, leaving an addicting aftertaste behind. Before you could comment on it, Bucky was onto you again. Hand at your waist, lips on your neck, kissing you and enjoying your body leisurely. 

You sighed and leaned into him more. Another sip of whiskey later you said, “I’m sorry I punched you. I shouldn’t have, I… I don’t know what got over me. I’m not usually this violent.” 

Bucky chuckled. He mumbled and nibbled on your skin, making you hiss and moan. “It was nothing, Princess. I was being an ass anyways.” He kissed his way up your neck. “Kinda deserved it, kinda liked it too to be honest.” 

You pulled away before he reached your lips, wondering if he was even taking your apology seriously. Then you looked down at his lips and noticed that the cut had healed. Of course it had healed overnight… Still, you apologized again, “I really am sorry for hurting you.” You whispered softly, keeping your eyes on his irresistible mouth. 

He nodded, reaching up to cup your face, “It’s okay, baby.” He barely gave you time to register the new nickname as he leaned in and kissed your lips so deeply and passionately that if someone had asked for your name at that moment, you wouldn’t know it. 

When he pulled away to let you breathe, you whispered against his mouth, “You always do this.” Always pulled you under his spell to avoid facing the possible not so pleasant future. 

He chuckled mischievously, like he was aware. “And you always like it.” He argued. 

You looked up at him, keeping his lower lip in between your teeth and tugging on it to make him groan. “So annoying.” You whispered once you released his lip. “And stubborn.” 

“Hmm,” He smirked and leaned in to kiss you again, whispering, “Do something about it.” 

Before you knew it, he was backing the two of you towards the nearby couch. He gently pushed you down onto the largest 2-seater recliner sofa you had ever been in. You landed with a bounce, and before he was onto you again, you swallowed down the contents of your glass and set it aside. Bucky did the same, then pinned you beneath him on the sofa. 

You felt a warmth inside your chest as you looked up into his blue eyes, perhaps it was the whiskey or maybe it was the shameless lust in his eyes. For some reason you thought of Satan in Paradise Lost… and then your mind drifted to demons. What did they look like when not disguised as humans? In the few seconds which followed you wondered if Bucky had red eyes, or fangs, or horns. Or were those just myths? 

Curiosity got the best of you. “Would you let me see you?” You asked out of nowhere and Bucky was surprised at the request. 

He gently pulled away from you and sat down on the other seat of the recliner; leaving a little space between you two again. You hated that, so you scooted closer and eventually straddled his lap. Refusing to be away from him. He wrapped his arms around you even though he looked like he was drowning in his thoughts. 

“Why?” He asked. He sounded genuinely curious, as though that was the last thing he expected you to ask of him. 

“Why not?” You asked softly, leaning down to kiss him on the nose. “Just wanna see you in all your… demonic glory.” You teased, brushing your lips against his. 

Only for a second he wondered if you wanted to see him at his most diabolical state just so you could run away from him more easily, and forget him like a nightmare if it ever comes down to it. Then he pushed those thoughts aside. He kissed your lips briefly before saying, “I showed up in my true form once, to a summoner centuries ago. The man took one look at me, and got on his knees, begging me to return back to the depths of Hell I came from.” He narrated the anecdote as though expecting you to back down. 

You persisted, “Good thing I’m not a man from centuries ago.” You placed your hand on his cheek. “Show me.” 

He nodded, looking up at you with a sudden adoration and said, “Close your eyes for me, baby.” 

You did, and suddenly the world around you felt too quiet. Too quiet and dark. Sure, mainly because your eyes were closed but there was something else in the air. Energetic, magnetic and heavy. 

You didn’t hear a single sound, just felt it. Felt him. Growing stronger, larger and meaner beneath you. Your legs spread wider as the width of his body grew slightly. You frowned but kept your eyes closed as you became more aware of your surroundings. Of him. The space between you and his body buzzed with something electric. 

You were about to open your mouth and ask if you could see him but before you could, you felt his cold knuckles stroking your cheek. Hell, even his hand felt larger. Colder. You stayed still, breathing heavily as he leaned in and gently kissed the side of your mouth. You felt something pointy scrap along your skin. 

Fangs. You shivered. 

He whispered, his voice lower and raspier than normal, making you tremble even more. “Don’t be scared, Princess. It’s just me.” He pulled away and placed both his hands on either side of your waist, trying not to focus on how your warm, clothed core was placed so perfectly right on his cock. 

You finally opened your eyes. You didn’t know what you were expecting but what you saw was far from a being one would be scared of. The first thing you noticed were the all black eyes, the smallest veins around his eye sockets now pink and visible. 

Without thinking you reached out and touched his skin with your pointer finger. His skin was as soft as always. You could tell his frame had gotten larger, if he stood up he would easily be a whole foot taller than what he normally is. You dragged your finger down to his mouth; his lips the same pink color as always, only now they hid behind them the two fangs which showed themselves once he smirked at you. 

Your whole body felt hot at the sight of him smirking at you with his pointy teeth, looking so large and powerful. Fuck, you’d get on your knees too if he’d let you. You gently touched one of his fangs and he playfully nipped at your finger. 

You hissed and pulled away. But then you couldn’t resist touching him further, exploring his body like it was the first time, so you placed both your hands on his broad shoulders which made his white t-shirt seem tighter than earlier, the seams were holding on for dear life. You inched closer to him, accidentally rubbing your crotch against his hard cock, making the both of you gasp and moan. 

“Careful, Princess, you don’t wanna get hurt.” He teased, and noticed the way his ‘real’ voice made you whimper but lean more towards him. Just the fact that you weren’t running away screaming bloody murder made his frozen heart thaw a little more. 

You scanned his face, down his neck and noticed the way his tattoos seemed darker somehow, against his skin. A reminder of who, or what, he was. But you also couldn’t ignore the way your body heated up just by looking at him. God, this would be so… illicit. But could you walk away? No, not yet. 

“Don’t I?” You dipped your toes into the forbidden, unknown waters. Testing, waiting to see what you’d find in there. 

Bucky tightened his grip just a little and pulled you closer to him, nuzzling your neck again. He let you feel his fangs grazing your skin, letting you get acclimated with the feeling. “And you say I always seduce you.” 

You slid your fingers into his hair and they didn’t feel any different. “I thought you’d have horns, or red eyes. Or a tongue of fire at least. But you look… beautiful.” You admitted. 

Bucky pulled away, looking offended. Though his all black eyes didn’t convey much compared to his ocean blue ones, you could still feel the playfulness radiating from them. “Couldn’t you at least lie and tell me I look menacing and…” He nipped at your lower lip before letting it go, “Something along the lines of demonic and hellish.” 

You giggled quietly, leaning in to brush the tip of your nose with his perfect one. “Right.” You fake gasped, dramatically and said, “How will I ever get out of the grasp of a dangerous, monstrous beast like yourself?” 

He smirked against your skin. “Can’t get away now, Princess.” He wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly, grounding you on his clothed cock in the process, “I’ve got you.” Forever, if you’ll have me. 

You hugged him back. “Who knew demons could be such softies?” You mumbled, knowing it would get you a reaction out of him. 

He growled and reached up to grab a fistful of your hair and carefully tugged on it until your head tipped back. “Demons are what now?” He asked, sounding menacing but you could hear the playfulness in his voice. 

You whined and he loosened his grip. You looked down into his eyes and whispered, “I want you. Right now.” You added, surprising both of you, “Like this.”  

He chuckled, letting his hand rest at your butt, bringing your body closer to his. “Always so demanding.” He pointed out, amused. “Take what you want, angel.” 

You let his words register into your brain. You looked into his obsidian eyes and they stared back at you, waiting. So you got off his lap, rapidly stood up to take your lacy underwear off. You threw your underwear aside carelessly, climbing back on his lap, straddling him again. 

You whimpered when your wet core pressed onto his thick, prominent erection. Your hands found themselves placed against the tight fabric of his shirt, pressing against his chest, supporting yourself. He looked up at you and he could’ve sworn his dead heart fluttered.

Bucky looked down and found your eager hands rapidly undoing his tight pants and freeing his erected, throbbing cock. He caught the way you whimpered under your breath at the sight of him, then you went on to wrap your hand around him, slowly stroking his engorged cock, making him throw his head back and groan under his breath. 

You leaned in close to him again, “So big,” you whispered against his lips and then pressed your mouth to his, “I need this cock inside of me.” You slipped your tongue past his lips and slowly stroked the top of his mouth, feeling his fangs. He growled into your mouth, and you immediately bucked your hips against his, your wet core rubbing against his cock and he grunted. His hands rubbed up and down your sides lovingly. 

“I’m all yours, angel.” He whispered against your mouth, your warm breaths mingling. The fact that you saw him for who he really was and still remained in his lap, willing to take his cock, made him feral. He was willing to just sit there and let you take whatever you wanted from him. 

You pulled away from the kiss briefly, lifting your lower body off his and slowly, lowered yourself down on his cock, earning quiet moans and groans out of both of you as you sank down on him. You’d admit, he did feel slightly larger than normal and your body resisted just a little to fit him inside. Your face felt hot at the thought of him being too big to fit inside your wet cunt. 

Bucky felt it too, and an arrogant smirk formed on his face. He grabbed your hips in place and gently thrust his hips up and you moaned wantonly as you felt him fill you up. You were so full your brain was barely able to process his words as he said, “Such a good girl for me.” 

Once he was buried deep inside you, you leaned in to kiss him again purposely keeping your hips in place. “Fuck…” Bucky moaned at how you refused to move and his grip around your waist tightened as he tried to get you to fuck yourself on his cock and stop torturing him. His big cock throbbed against your pulsating walls, causing the tiniest bit of friction which drove you both insane. It felt like he was splitting you in half with that monster cock of his. 

Slowly and when you felt that your body could take it, you moved against him. Lifting your lower body just the slightest, before sliding back down on his cock, you whimpered as he groaned, snug inside of you. The tip of his cock reaching sensitive places you never knew existed. You took a good look at the man beneath you, you couldn’t believe that you were making a creature so dark and evil moan in pleasure. It gave you a warm rush. 

You moved faster then, impaling yourself down on his cock each time. You whimpered shamelessly as you felt him filling you up completely each time, feeling him reach deeper into you with each thrust. His hand slipped between the two of you and found your clit, he rubbed the swollen bud lazily. Grunting and moaning under his breath as you sped up even more, riding his cock and making him lose his damned mind.

“That’s it, Princess. Take it, take all of me in that tight, perfect little cunt…” 

You were whimpering and whining yourself as you took more and more of him. You leaned down to kiss him, biting down and tugging at his bottom lip while you sped up, and his cock stretched you out each time he filled you up.

His hand circled around your waist and he pulled your warm body closer to his. He was in a daze, his body tingled and he felt warm from deep within. Your lips brushed against his each time you moved up and down his cock. He mostly let you set the pace and he took whatever you gave him, only guiding you up and down his cock when you needed him too. 

You bounced on his cock moaning and whining, feeling him stretch you out as you stared into his dark eyes. Bucky held you at your waist and rhythmically thrust his hips up each time to match your movements. Brows furrowing and panting while you rode his cock, throwing his head back and moaning, “You feel so fucking good, angel…” He tried to contain his grunts, “Like a perfect fuck doll made just for this demon cock…” 

He panted and groaned at how good you felt, whispering against your skin about how perfect you felt around him; wet and warm all for him. He panted against your cheek, kissing the side of your face and gripping your jaw with his hand. “You’re all mine,” He whispered, “All mine.” 

“All yours…” You didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, and he kept thrusting his hips up into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out loud as you came, hard, feeling your walls squeezing and clenching around him as you came undone. You panted and leaned forward, pushing your face into his neck to catch your breath. 

Bucky came right after you, his warm load spilling inside of you, filling you up remarkably as he wrapped his arms around you and pressed your trembling body closer to him. “You were so good, angel. So good…” 

As you laid your head on his shoulder, catching your breath you thought of a lot of things. The unkind past, the confusing present and the unknown future. “I need you…” You mumbled so quietly you weren’t even sure he heard you as you wrapped your arms tighter around him. 

Then he replied saying, “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.” 

Right now, as you lay in his arms, spent, satiated and well fucked, if you were given a choice - to either walk over to the dark side with him forever, or to let him go for good - you wouldn’t even think twice before taking his hand and following him to whatever depths of darkness he would take you. 

Of course, that would be easy. But would it be the right thing to do? To keep him here simply because you loved him too much to let him go? 

---

a/n: TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM ALREADY OMG-

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics To Read On Lonely Nights Masterlist

Links Last Checked: November 24th, 2022

Behind a Mask (ao3) - mollieblack

Summary: Daniel Howell has a secret. Since he was young, he's always been able to turn into any animal he wants to.

Dan also has an enemy. Phil Lester, the bully who's seemed to make it his mission to make Dan's life miserable.

Phil has his own secret. He's not the hardened, emotionless person he lets everyone believe. In fact... he has a very childlike love of animals, and when suddenly he starts befriending tons of wild animals he begins to think he must have some sort of secret touch.

Blue Eyes & Paper Doves (ao3) - zinther

Summary: Dan Howell doesn't have a lot of friends. None, to be precise. This doesn't bother him, but it does seem to bother a certain blue eyed Hufflepuff who's made it his life's mission to get to know him.

Heartlines (ao3) - obliviongrace

Summary: Phil’s not sure where his creativity has gone. He went to the U.S. for university because he wanted the space to figure out who he was, but halfway through senior year he realizes that didn’t happen. He’s unhappy, his friendships are crumbling, and his art thesis remains untouched. But then he meets Dan, another exchange student from the U.K., and can’t help wondering if he might get a second chance at discovering what’s in his heart.

hearts like ours (ao3) - kay_okay

Summary: “Sorry… what?” Phil replies, dumbfounded, shocked, void of all intellect.

“I said I’m in love with you. Actually, I said I think I’m in love with you, which isn’t true. I mean, I am. I know I am, I don’t know why I said I think.”

If You Must Mourn, Don't Do It Alone (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase

Summary: Phil is a Masters' student just starting at a new uni, and while he should be concerned with getting to grips with his new course, he finds himself more and more caught up with getting to know his quiet, brown-haired housemate who has a habit of disappearing.

Or, Phil goes to uni, Dan goes to uni, Dan is sad, and Phil is there for him.

Jackets (ao3) - FoxyAtlas

Summary: Phil Lester, bad boy who wears the same leather jacket to school every day and makes a hobby out of scaring people. Dan Howell, future valedictorian who prefers a varsity jacket, and refuses to be shaken by anyone, bad boy or otherwise. And how they come together through a high school track, an English class, and a failing videography program.

Keep It Down (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase

Summary: Phil wants a quiet life. That's all he's asked for. He doesn't want the new neighbour to blast music at him at 2 in the morning, so if he would kindly stop then that's all Phil needs

L'Histoire Française (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Since he can remember, Dan has had a bad experience with teachers. When desperate times call for him to take a job as a TA at his local secondary school, he is dreading the experience. Cue Phil Lester: eclectic, vivacious History teacher whom the students and teachers adore for his fantastical, unique methods and sincere passion for his job. Dan was expecting all sorts of drama in his new job, but falling for a member of the faculty was not part of it.

one second (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: When you spend your life getting glimpses of a myriad of possible futures every time you get a little emotional, you tend to lose sight of reality, of the present; a bad day turns into a bad week because all you see are the worst-case futures. You get a little excited about something, things start to go your way, but then all you can see are the realities where things are even better. Life tends not to measure up.

Or the one where Dan meets Phil on a plane, and maybe reality starts to become better than even Dan could predict.

said it was love and did it for life (did it for you) (ao3) - deletable_bird

Summary: Dan is down on his knees the first time Phil mentions weddings with any seriousness.

Sea Glass (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Phil arrives on the Isle of Man to house-sit at his family's cabin while it's repaired and sold. Except the cabin's in far worse shape than expected, and Phil's got to find somewhere else to stay (Phil POV)

Ships that pass in the night (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.

strangers (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he's all alone -- until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can't exactly not return it, can he?

swallowing the stars again (ao3) - bliiinding

Summary: “Because this is what we do.” Phil told him, floorboards creaking underfoot as he treaded closer. “As people.” He placed a hand back against the wall of the house, as if to steady himself, if not, to still the forces of whatever lay not quite so dormant within the walls. “We want to show the people that matter the most, the things that matter the most.”

Dan tried to hide his blush, but everything with Phil Lester was a weighted die, a rigged game, a losing war, but still he refused to set his cards down to the table - he was stubborn, stupid, perhaps, or instead just irrefutably sixteen years old. Phil smiled at him. Another battle lost.

Sweet Pea (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath.

Take Me By The Hand (ao3) - amczingphil

Summary: Dan suffers from a severe genetic disorder that has forced him to spend his entire life indoors, going outside is too dangerous for him as he has no immune system and catching any illness can result in his death.

He was as content as he could be given his situation, he would fill his time watching his neighbours and creating elaborate stories about their lives in his head, until Phil Lester moved in across the street.

Now Dan can't stop thinking about the man with the plants and suddenly his 'normal' life isn't as satisfying as it had once been.

the taste of your cherry chapstick (ao3) - huphilpuffs

Summary: Punk!Phil has a crush, so when Pastel!Dan is manning a kissing booth for a school event, he finds himself showing up with a pound in his pocket.

Watchful (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Phil is part of one of the world’s most famous paranormal investigator groups, along with his friends Joe, Zoe and Louise. The never before investigated Harrowick Penitentiary catches the group’s attention, and they settle in the town for a week long investigation. Most importantly, they hope to make contact with one spirit in particular, Dan Howell, who was falsely imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, and was murdered in the building. When Dan becomes attached to Phil, things become a lot more complicated.

[cupcakemolotov]

Fall With You

I ended up pinch hitting for the exchange! It was fun, if slightly wild 48 hours to put this together. Written for the lovely @queencarolinemikaelson​. I’m really glad you enjoyed it since it ended up being a fluff fest of roommate co-hab. Also a big thank you to @bellemorte180​ for putting this graphic together!

I put the first but under a cut, bit under a cut, but the full story is almost 9K, so the link to the story is at the bottom. :)

Summary: When life throws her a curve ball in the form of her good looking, yet moody roommate, Caroline takes it in stride as best she can. Her living situation was a favor, after all, and rent is anything but cheap in NYC. Its the part where she actually starts to like him that she can't quiet figure out how to manage. Lust was one thing, but feelings? 

Warnings: Alternate Universe; Alternate; Universe - Human; Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates; Minor Character Death; not otp; Family Drama; Family Dynamics; Fluff and Humor; Domestic Fluff; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; Mild Smut; Human Caroline Forbes; Human Klaus Mikaelson; Living Room Picnics; Wine; Dates That Aren't Dates; They Could Really Get Their Shit Together Faster; but not really; Making Out; Some petting; NSFW just to be safe            

It was almost three am, her feet were killing her, and her key was stuck in her front door.

Seriously, what was with her luck today? The door had always been finicky, but until earlier this week the lock had been behaving itself. It’d gone from not wanting to turn properly to straight up mutiny in four days. It was an easy fix, unlike the door, but it also required a trip to the store and she just hadn’t had time. Amazon could have delivered the powdered graphite, but she was on a budget and believed in shopping local.

Her two year savings plan to finish her degree would not manifest itself if she bought things simply because they were convenient.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Caroline seriously considered just leaning up against the door jam and spending the night outside. It was early summer, and the air had cooled to a balmy sixty-five degrees, leaving the usually stifling hallway almost comfortable. If only she didn’t smell so heavily of beer. Shifting her weight, she winced as her shoes squelched, a reminder of the truly spectacular ending to her night. Her eight hour shift had almost doubled when the night shift manager had called in sick. Usually that wouldn’t have been a problem, but the only other person with keys was out of town leaving Caroline holding the bag to close.

She knew from experience that she had about an hour before she crashed, the rush from kicking out the lingering guests who had been clearly on an epic brawl crawl having mostly faded after the hour long subway ride home. Right then, the only thing keeping her upright was the fact that she was starving, her dinner had been rushed and only half eaten, and the knowledge that if she made it into her apartment she had the next two days off. Tomorrow she could sleep in, and if she was really lucky, her roommate’s night had gone well enough he could be coaxed into making pancakes.

Cheered by the thought, Caroline dug out her cell phone from the backpack she’d slung over her shoulder and checked it for a response. She hadn’t been sure if Klaus had beaten her home or if he was still out celebrating, but either way, he hadn’t bothered to respond yet. Her lips compressed into a thin line.

Usually, she could depend on Klaus to be awake when she finished a night shift, her roommates' hours were only reliable on how sporadic they were and depending on her schedule, hers weren’t much better. But with his big event tonight, she had no idea what he had decided to do. Honestly, would it kill the man to respond to her texts?

She’d expected him to ignore her rapidly typed apology and well wishes she’d sent in-between bites of food. Klaus wasn’t particularly good at handling sentiment of any kind and supremely anti-emoji, and she’d made a point to send several of them. She’d hoped it’d give him something to be annoyed about that wasn’t his evening plans. He needed to schmooze, and a scowl-y Klaus would not accomplish that at all.

He could be charming, when he wanted to be. She’d seen it. He just didn’t deploy full dimples unless he wanted something. Her reminders the night before that he needed to earn his half of the rent without getting carpal tunnel hadn't impressed him.

Too bad. She’d been right, and he’d known it.

He had mentioned a couple of his friends were trying to talk him into drinks afterwards, back when she had thought she might be able to join him. Usually, she would be thrilled that he was getting out and actually seeing people instead of trying to live off granola bars and tea. But right then she really wanted him to be home and grumpy so he could unlock the door. She wondered if texting Marcel with an S.O.S would be rude?

Things were a lot less complicated when she only liked Klaus for the rent he helped cover. Wanting him home, even just for a lock-related emergency wasn’t a thought she would have had even six months ago. Klaus was not what one would label as a comfortable roommate for most of the time. He was far too prickly for that, and he could be snarly in the mornings. Which fair, so could she, but the moodiness. Caroline hadn’t been one to spend much time around the art scene, either at Uni or in high school, but she’d spent the last year learning that there was a lot to be said about artistic temperaments, most of it unflattering.

She was fairly certain Klaus had been born a contrary grump, his winning personality had nothing to do with his chosen profession, she could certainly see how he’d been drawn to the lifestyle, talent aside. Most people immediately laughed off his acerbic tongue once they learned he was an artist, his behavior brushed aside as temperamental. His goods certainly helped his cause, and his accent added a layer of charm that otherwise might not have existed.

She was not so forgiving.

The first few months of their co-hab had not been easy. Klaus was messy, absent minded, and had ruined three of her towels with paint splatter before she’d blown her lid. The apartment was small enough that avoiding each other was nearly impossible, and her preferred kind of stress relief had to be timed for when she was alone, and so they’d been forced to deal with their annoyances. To Klaus’ credit, while he’d been snappish in return, he’d somehow managed to keep a lid on the worst of his temper.

They’d argued, multiple times, they were both stubborn and used to being right, but they’d eventually found some kind of middle ground. Snapping had softened into bickering, and Caroline had stopped nitpicking him about his notebooks being spread across the house and the incorrect way he rolled his toothpaste, and he stopped leaving towels on the floor and made a point to contain his absentminded mess to his room.

And then they started to talk, sometimes about work, sometimes about art, and she’d realized she kind of liked him as a person. She’d started dragging him to her group lunches on her days off, much to Rebekah’s despair, and they might have become something like friends. Except for the part where every so often, she’d look at him and something about the way he stood, the angle of his jaw or the line of his throat left her wanting to jump his bones.

It was really frustrating, when her existence didn’t even seem to phase him.

So she’d done her best to ignore whatever that little spark was between them when it flared up, and not upset the status quo. Because the past year had been better than she could have imagined. Before her mom had died, she would never have considered the life she found herself living now as a good one.

She’d just wrapped her third year at NYU, had exactly 24 hours of classes left before graduation, and had managed to wrangle her schedule so that her final semester would be a cake walk of classes. The cherry on top had been the kick ass internship she’d lined up for the summer. Her five year plan was perfectly on track, her excellent grades gave her a shot at graduating with honors, and she couldn’t wait to show her mom around New York City from the eyes of a local. She’d spent three years putting together a binder, collecting menus from her favorite places to eat and brochures from all the museums and the jam packed tourists locations to offer her mom some variety.

Then she’d gotten that phone call that had thrown everything into a tale spin.

Blowing out a breath, Caroline bounced on her toes and debated best her course of action. She could probably get her key out of the lock if she was very careful, though the past twenty minutes said her luck wasn’t great, Forbes women were nothing if not stubborn, but there was also a chance she would break the key off in the lock and she could already see the little smirk on Klaus’ face if she did. Her hand tightened on the strap of her backpack. He still hadn’t forgiven her for being far more comfortable with power tools than he was and her perfectly reasonable gloating probably hadn’t helped much, if she was honest.

She kind of didn’t regret it. Poking Klaus sizable ego was a favorite past time of hers, and he seemed to enjoy their back and forth as much as she did. Her mental tally had her up two points this month, and she wanted to keep her lead.

Unfortunately, things weren’t really going in her favor just then. Sighing, Caroline tucked her phone back into her bag and admitted defeat. She’d have to figure this one out herself. Either Klaus’ event had run long and he had actually taken her advice to schmooze people or he was home and had drunk enough that he was sleeping like the dead.

Either of those options would not help her now.

Her best bet now was to go and eat a giant piece of pie, drink her weight in caffeine, and trudge her way to the little mom and pop shop that sold a little of everything, including graphite, once it became a reasonable hour. She’d fix her lock and then crash for the following eight hours of hopefully uninterrupted sleep, and leave a very pointed sticky note on the coffee pot so Klaus knew not to disturb her.

Satisfied with the makings of her plan, she shifted her backpack to her other shoulder, mentally reviewing the pie menu, and paused when the elevator dinged from behind her. Sliding her teeth between her lip, Caroline turned and blew out a breath when she recognized the tumble of ruffled curls stepping into the hall. The hallway was dimly lit, so it took a moment for her brain to really understand what else she was seeing.

Klaus was wearing a tux.

Logically, she’d known he was going to be wearing one. His event that night had been important, his work had finally made it into a gallery tonight and it was a Big Deal. His first real show outside of the fancy art school he had attended, and he had spent months fretting over his work and brooding silently in his room as nothing met his incredibly exacting standards. Klaus had even brought home a couple of canvas to work in the questionable light of his bedroom instead of the small studio space he and five other artists pooled their money to share.

Much to her annoyance.

No amount of febreeze really removed the scent of acrylics and turpentine, and she’d been worried if she tried to burn her stash of scented candles something would catch on fire. She’d held her tongue though, because Klaus was never nervous. He was in fact annoyingly difficult to rattle even in the most ridiculous of situations, the man had absolutely no shame, and the way he’d almost jittered had been weird and kind of enduring. Since he’d seen her in numerous states of frantic and alarmed, it was nice for things to end up on a little more even ground for once. She’d done her best to force him to eat something that looked like actual food every so often, and tried to stay quiet when she knew he was working in his bedroom.

She’d even helped him pick out the tuxedo from the catalogue he’d brought home from the store he had planned to rent from. There was a fancy evening gown that she’d rented hanging in her closet that Caroline had planned to wear to go with him before work had made that impossible. But knowing all that, and actually seeing him in that tux were not nearly the same thing.

Caroline blinked rapidly. Her paint speckled roommate, with his surly attitude and annoying dimples, was wearing a tux. And he looked really, really good. He’d undone his tie so it hung loosely around his neck, and his jacket was loose and unbuttoned around his waist, his curls still somewhat tamed along his forehead. Something very much like arousal jolted through her as he looked up, the low light highlighting the scruff along his jaw and the length of his neck. For a moment, he just stared at her, as surprised as she and then his head tipped and his brow arched, lips tugging up at the corners.

“Waiting on me?”

The rest can be found here: A03