#he lost an incredibly important person
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#the fact that Harry's entire comment section is filled with people berating him about his post#saying it wasn't geneuine enough or too PR scripted#stfu#he lost an incredibly important person#it's absolutely wild for people to think they are owed certain words#or are allowed to comment these things#Harry's statement was beautiful and very harry#he's a private person#let him and everyone else that knew Liam personally grieve the way they want#the lack of common sense and awareness that exists is always astounding#but especially in this situation???#so disgusting#none of them owed anyone a statement#they can do whatever they want#however they want#god it angers me
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my new OC: cempaka!
she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)
also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)
bonus first iteration under the cut!
i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3
#my art#original character#oc#oc art#art#im in love with her actually#she has 4 brothers all named after flowers#mawar kekwa orkid and melati#not me using google translate literally on the fly i hope im not being culturally insensitive 😭#but anyway they lost their parents at a young age so she was raised by her brothers#shes the youngest by far tho by like 9 years from her next closest brother#mawar is the oldest hes like 40 a very important Leader Of People so he is not very present in her life#kekwa is a doctor and 38 and he travels often for work so he is also not very present but he visits sometimes#orkid and melati are twins theyre both 30#orkid is a scholar and on track to being a professor at a prestigious uni#melati is traveling the world doing soul searching#cempaka is 21 she is literally a baby and her brothers send her back money but shes mostly alone#so she joins a traveling dance troupe and she gets really good at dancing#she meets indra while on the road dancing and performing and she is SMITTEN#like shes just head over heels in love with this man because hes so warm and inviting and he fills a void in her life#he makes her feel so incredibly seen and not alone and the feeling is addicting she cant get enough#ok idk most of the details bc i havent read haydars full story BUT#basically to my understanding yuwei and indra are separated for a while#and cempaka knows up front that indra is in love with yuwei like hes very honest with her about this and she appreciates it#but she still wants a chance because indras the only person in the world that has ever made her feel truly seen and loved#so she tries to be with him to ease her loneliness but it breaks her heart whenever he misses yuwei openly#also AGAIN listen im trying to basically write fanfic for a story that doesnt exist LOLL#HAYDAR IF YOURE READING THIS PLS WRITE UR STORY LMFAO
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#i know this is not my “Lost” sideblog and i swear i'll stop#but it's very important to me to share the fact that saywer discovering that he's hyperopic#while he's stranded on an island reading books after books and getting headaches in return#and then jack and mainly sayid manufacture this incredible pair of lenses for him that i personally want for myself#is something very important to me#also fellows hyperopics unite!#AND ALSO having a character GETTING lenses on the actual show was a crazy beautiful move#cause in movies and mainly TV series basically nobody wears glasses and if they do is to signal their nerdness or cleverness or whatever#and frankly it's quite dumb lol#so thank you Lost for giving us a character who needs glasses just because he's getting old and tired and human and that's it#lol#lost#lost rewatch#lost abc#james sawyer ford
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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This is very situational, and sadly may not be realistic for everyone, but I need y’all to understand that a very important part of political activism is fucking talking to your conservative or moderate friends and family.
My dad voted for Trump in 2016. He’s a middle class white evangelical from Arkansas. He raised me with conservative Christian values, just like his parents raised him. When he voted Trump, he was holding his nose, but he didn’t feel too bad about it, and went on to vote red down the ticket in the 2018 midterms, as well.
But I started college in 2017. Higher education and independence changed everything for me, and I went home over holidays and summers with fire in my belly and a thousand arguments ready at the drop of a hat, to my father’s dismay.
I remember crying in my room after emotional, intense arguments with him. I told him over and over that I felt betrayed by his choice to vote for a man who admitted to sexually assaulting women, who built his platform on dehumanizing immigrants and the disabled, who spread overtly-racist rhetoric, who flouted the values of kindness and self-discipline that I’d been raised on. And my dad always had some justification about the “greater good”: fighting against abortion, bolstering the economy, getting other Christian politicians into office.
But over time, as we grew further apart and I lost my will to discuss anything with him at all, he softened. He started asking me why I thought the way I did about the things we disagreed about. He would listen to my answers without interruption, and mull them over afterward instead of expressing his own opinion. And all the while, he watched the Trump presidency become cruel and absurd and devastating.
The first time he openly expressed regret to me, I had come home for a weekend after Kavanaugh was confirmed to SCOTUS. My dad realized he had helped elect a man who preyed on women… and that man had opened the door to more predators. I can’t tell you what it felt like for him to admit that he’d made a mistake, not just in voting for Trump but in defending him for so long. We kept arguing, but it was more debating than fighting. I knew he was capable of seeing my side of things, even if it took a while, and he knew I wasn’t just a sensitive college student with shallow new ideas about the world.
And then 2020 hit. Specifically, George Floyd was murdered, and the events that followed played out on the national stage. My dad was incredibly shaken by it. He asked me if I had any books from college about racial issues. I loaned him The New Jim Crow, one of the required readings for my Race and the Law class. Then I gave him Just Mercy. Then he watched the documentary 13th. Then he joined a racial harmony group he learned about through one of the few Black families at our church and insisted our whole family come. He held up signs at a protest against Confederate monuments in our conservative southern town. In three years, he went from defending Trump’s comments about “Black-on-Black crime” to publicly advocating for racial justice and opposing the death penalty.
We went together to vote in the 2020 primaries. I couldn’t help asking who he’d voted for; I didn’t even know if he’d asked for the Republican or Democratic ticket. He admitted he’d voted for Bernie. fucking. Sanders, then made me promise not to tell my grandma he’d voted liberal. When the election rolled around in November, he voted Biden. I’m sure he held his nose to do it, just like he held his nose voting in 2016. But I know he doesn’t regret it.
I am, of course, unbelievably lucky to have a parent who loved me enough, and was empathetic enough, to choose his relationship with me over his strongly-held opinions. He kept searching for truth because, as much as he’ll deny it, he’s a very smart and curious person. No degree of intelligence or curiosity makes you immune to propaganda, especially if you were raised not to question the party line. It’s easy to dismiss our conservative, conspiracy-pilled loved ones as stupid, hypocritical, and cruel. Sometimes they are. But sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes they will bend to keep their relationships from breaking. Sometimes, if they can be made to understand that their beliefs and actions are harming someone they love, they will make concessions. And sometimes they just need one person in their life to put a foot down, to be vulnerable and assertive and argumentative, to bring the impact of their politics close to home.
As the most important election of our lifetimes approaches, do not put peace over progress. If you have someone like my dad, someone who is good-willed and smart and loves you more than their own opinions, tell them how you feel. Tell them what their choices will mean for you, for your friends, for your community. Tell them what they could lose: your trust, your affection, your respect. Don’t avoid conflict if it could be productive. Because my conflict with my dad didn’t just win him over–it won over my moderate mom and one of my conservative brothers. And it put us in community with other like-minded people and led my parents to a healthier and kinder faith.
All of this to say, there is hope in conflict. There is hope in our relationships with people who think differently from us. There is hope in exposing your fear and anger and pain to people you love. And hope is a form of activism.
#us politics#kamala harris#tim walz#harris walz 2024#politics#just to reiterate#this is not everyone’s situation#but if it’s yours please have the hard conversations
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It bother me so much that people misunderstand sayaka miki's descent into madness in madoka magica. She doesnt become a witch "just because of a boy." Sayaka is a character who ties all her self worth into being in service of others. We can see this right from the start with her idolization of mami and everything that she was. She saw mami as this "perfect hero" even though mami i would say is mentally the weakest of the holy quintet. In the timelines where mami finds out about the incubator's true goals she always immediately breaks and goes crazy, trying to kill the other girls in her own twisted way of trying to "save them". Instead of seeing the fragile person that mami was, sayaka instead sort of treats her as a martyr, a goal to achieve. We continue on to sayaka's magical girl wish. Instead of wishing for something for herself, she instead sells her soul for the sake of kyousuke. Then when he starts dating hitomi she spirals not because she's sad about the rejection but because she feels replaced in his life, that he doesn't need or want her around anymore. Then she throws herself into her magical girl work not seeing that she's harming herself because she justifies it with "well im saving people that means what im doing is a good thing." She doesn't see that she's becoming more sloppy, more ruthless until its too late. It's only in the end when she turns into a witch that her story gets resolved.
Sayaka Miki is an incredibly sad character to me. While her actions have the illusion of being selfless and "for the greater good" she is actually incredibly selfishly motivated. Everything she does is in service of wanting praise and admiration from the people she cares about. If she helps kyousuke he'll appreciate her and love her, if she becomes a hero she'll receive praise and admiration for being a good person. This is why it is important that of all people it was kyoko that fought sayaka in the end. To homura, sayaka is someone to be saved. To mami, sayaka is her sweet apprentice/younger sister figure. To madoka, sayaka is her energetic and happy go lucky friend. Kyoko is the only one who from the start called sayaka out on her bullshit, seeing straight through her. And at the end, kyoko is the one who truly accepts sayaka. Sayaka as the witch Oktavia von Seckendorff is stated multiple times in official material to be "looking for love." In the end it it kyoko who gives her that love. Even when sayaka has lost her humanity it is kyoko who accepts her for the entirety of who sayaka is with all of her selfishness and desires. She is the one who sees what sayaka has become and stays together with her till both of their ends. Kyoko choosing to die with sayaka is her saying "I'm here for you, i know all of you, and I will love you regardless."
#pmmm#puella magi madoka magica#sayaka miki#kyoko sakura#im just rambling man#cant wait for the 4th movie#i made this to procrastinate on my finals
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The solo lines during the hotel rebuild in Finale are actually so fucking impactful though.
Niffty: "to build a hotel" - Niffty is the person brought in to maintain what was there; now she's actively working to build something new for all of them. She's not looking at the rubble and seeing a mess that needs to be cleaned up. She's looking at it and seeing something to create with her friends.
Angel Dust: "start with foundation" - Angel was the hotel's first patron; he was really the foundation of it all. Angel's progress is what's been keeping Charlie's dream steady this whole time. Watching him grow has been reassuring her that she's doing something right.
Lucifer: "remedial creation" - Lucifer, who lost faith in humanity after seeing what they did with free will, is remembering the hope he had for them back in Eden because his daughter taught him the potential he saw so long ago.
Charlie: "make the best of what's in ruins" - She's acknowledging that where she saw destruction and failure right after the battle, there's still hope. She's looking at everything that's happened, the successes and failures, and using it to build something better based on her experiences instead of giving up, starting over, or just picking up where she left off.
Vaggie: "new coat of paint" - Paint isn't just decoration. It's the first thing people tend to notice, because it's color. The right or wrong color can make a huge difference in people's opinions. Structure is good practically, but a bright appearance is what draws people in, NOT what's on the inside of the building. As far as making this hotel, Charlie's dream, come true, that ability to draw people in is incredibly important; and Vaggie's been trying her hardest to make that dream come true from the very start. And, just like Charlie, she's acknowledging that a little change is necessary to make this better by learning from what went right and wrong before.
Husk: "new lights across the marquee" - Husk was the least enthusiastic about all this in the beginning. He was only there because Alastor forced him to be. Now that he's seen the hotel actually helping people (Angel being the prime example), he sees it as a place that can give hope and light.
And as a bonus, because it's me so of course I have to...
Charlie + Vaggie: "we're gonna do this, you and me" - Charlie and Vaggie are the ones who started it all. Charlie had a dream and Vaggie was the only one who believed in her. In the beginning, it was just them against all odds; and it's still the two of them swearing to stay by each other no matter what. This line specifically is so incredibly emotional in its depth, and I adore it.
This song went so hard with its rebuild lines AND the Chaggie one, and I just think that's amazing.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel finale#niffty hazbin hotel#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#charlie morningstar#vaggie#hazbin hotel husk#chaggie
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I need y'all to understand how fucking important it is that their lovemaking song was La Vie En Rose.
Those translated covers you hear on TikTok take their lyrics from a Louis Armstrong cover of the original French version sung by Edith Piaf. The English lyrics are beautiful but there are some things lost in translation, which is why I love that they had Izzy sing the original French version while Stede and Ed are making love.
Edith Piaf's version of the song is all about the intensity of love and finding love after a trying time. Her vocals are incredible and bleed all the different emotions she feels while singing. Izzy starts with the English translation of the song, which goes:
But a closer translation to the original French would be:
"Quand il me prend dans ses bras; When he takes me into his arms/ Il me parle l'a tout bas; He speaks to me softly/ Je vois la vie en rose; And I see life through rose-colored glasses."
Obviously this is fine and dandy, but it's the translation of the original French lyrics used later in the episode that really get me. Izzy sings this:
Which translates to this:
"He speaks words of love to me/ They are every day words/ And they do something to me.
"He has entered into my heart/ A bit of happiness/ That I know the cause of.
"It's only him for me/ And me for him, for life/ He told me, he swore to me, for life."
It's that last verse that the English version just wouldn't be able to capture. The translated version of that verse is about angels and love songs and mentions nothing of a vow to love one another for life.
That's what's so special to me about the French version of the song being used in that moment. Edith Piaf sings as a person who has lived through so much pain and suffering (which she definitely did as a French woman living through World War II) and finally finds comfort and peace in the arms of her beloved.
That is ultimately what Ed and Stede are for one another. Safe harbors, calm waters, peaceful days and nights in each other's presence. They bicker and argue and hurt one another, but they always come back together so easily. Stede was hurt and needed reassurance, needed to prove to himself that he wasn't a whim, needed to feel the security of Ed in his arms. And perhaps they shouldn't have gone all the way that night, but they're both impulsive and obsessed with each other and they needed something.
It's that song that lets me know they're gonna be okay. They're intense and impulsive but they compliment each other. They fit together perfectly, and they find comfort in one another no matter what's happened to them in the past. They need their harbors, their anchors, each other. They'd never leave each other behind. They make each other's lives la vie en rose.
(Edit: fixed a translation error)
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2#our flag means death season 2#our flag means death s2#ofmd season 2#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2 spoilers#our flag means death spoilers#our flag means death s2 spoilers#stede bonnet#the gentleman pirate#edward teach#blackbeard#izzy hands#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#la vie en rose#s2e6#ofmd s2e6#calypso's birthday#i also want to make a post about their argument#their third breakup#i have some thoughts
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— f1 boys and their moments of quiet admiration for you.
˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS
observing you laughter from afar: he always thought your laugh was the most beautiful thing in the world, but at that moment he knew for sure. you were so free and happy with your friends that you didn’t even notice him looking at you with a huge smile on his face; the way your face lights up while you’re laughing wholeheartedly without a care in the world... his eyes shine with a feeling of warmth and joy just seeing you happy; all he wants is to make you the happiest person in the world so that that beautiful smile never leaves your face.
˒ ⌕ GEORSE RUSSELL
watching you sleep peacefully: amidst so many things in his life, he cherishes every peaceful moment by your side. so when he wakes up in the morning and sees you sleeping so peacefully next to him, it makes his heart melt a little in his chest. he lies on his side and admires every beautiful detail of you for a few minutes; how your breathing is so calm, your hair on your face, your eyes closed and your mouth so, so perfect. he gently brushes a few strands of your hair from your face and caresses your cheek, just enjoying this simple moment with you while feeling a deep, peaceful connection.
˒ ⌕ SEBASTIAN VETTEL
the way you speak about what you love: he loves listening to everything you say, but he loves it even more when you talk about your passions and dreams; seeing the fire in your eyes and the way you smile with excitement and love makes his heart race in his chest and a huge smile appears on his lips. he doesn’t say it, but in those moments he feels a sense of gratitude and joy for being able to see this side of you that he admires so much.
˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ
silently watching you work on something important: whether it’s a creative project for work, cooking, or even a small task, he loves to admire you from afar. he loves your expressions and how beautiful you are without even knowing it. your dedication and skills in your movements; he likes to make mental notes of your mannerisms and little things you do that make you so unique. it’s in these moments that he gets completely lost in you and could look at you for hours.
˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC
noticing how you carry yourself in public: seeing you interact with others with confidence, humor, and kindness makes his heart race in his chest, in those moments, he finds you more beautiful than ever; how much you stand out from others just by being you. he feels a swell of pride and love in knowing that you are his, and how incredibly beautiful you are.
˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON
taking in your appearance when you’re not looking: he simply loves looking at you and noticing your little details; how your hair falls, how your hand rests gently on the table, how you concentrate while putting on makeup or skincare. quietly appreciating how naturally beautiful you are in every situation and he never gets tired of it; of looking at you and thinking you’re the most beautiful person in the world.
˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI
feeling grateful when you show kindness to other: he silently watches you being kind or helpful to someone else and in those moments he realizes how much he admires you as a person, and how beautiful your heart is. he learns a lot from you and values that immensely; to him, you couldn’t be more perfect.
˒ ⌕ LIAM LAWSON
admiring you lost in thought: he can’t help but stare at you while you’re working. the way your expression changes with every thought or idea, how quickly you type on the computer, how you roll your eyes and sigh when something goes wrong... he smiles from afar, admiring how beautiful you look in these simple moments. he could spend all day like this, observing how gorgeous you are and how thoughtful and passionate you are about what you do.
˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN
holding your hand and just looking at you: sitting together in comfortable silence while he’s holding your hand and watching you without words, letting his gaze express all the affection he feels. he doesn’t hide the fact that he’s admiring you, but he also don’t stop when you get embarrassed and ask him what he’s looking at. he just likes to look at you, admire you and memorize every single detail of you.
#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#liam lawson imagine#liam lawson x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel imagine#george russell x reader#george russell imagine#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader
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A core, fundamental piece of Viktor’s character that people tend to miss is that deep down, he’s so incredibly scared. He puts on a front of confidence, builds up his walls so tall and so thick that no one can get through them, but inside he’s afraid.
He’s afraid that he’s not good enough, that he’s not worth it. That he can’t compare to everyone around him, that he won’t leave anything of note behind when he’s gone. He’s afraid to be wrong. He’s afraid to die.
When he has to leave Jayce behind, he imagines Sky to keep him company. To praise him and tell him his choices are correct. To keep him from being completely alone. When Jayce returns to their universe, Viktor immediately wants to talk with him, allows him into the commune with his hammer, leads him to his sanctuary, and in his eyes, Jayce shoots him without hesitation. He gives into the Hexcore then— when he feels he’s lost everything.
He’s afraid to be alone. He thinks he’s too far gone at this point, that he can’t go back, that his partner— the one man who means more to him than anything— hates him. So he gives up. Thanks Sky for keeping him company in “his solitude”, before sealing himself inside his own personal bubble. He builds those walls up higher, and hides away behind the mask of the Herald. If you connect the lyrics from “The Line” to Viktor’s mindset after his emergence, it speaks of fear and a desperation for some form of comfort, some form of assurance that everything will be okay despite it all. That he didn’t burn every bridge that he crossed. That despite everything he’s done, he isn’t alone.
He’s tired, he’s scared, and he thinks he’s past the point of no return. He thinks he’s made his choice, and that he’s walking it alone. Only for Jayce to show up and both literally and metaphorically break down those walls, show him that he is not, and will never be, alone. That Jayce will never leave him, will never stop caring for him. Viktor never lost Jayce, even after everything they both went through.
Jayce would not have been stranded in that other universe if it weren’t for Viktor’s actions. None of this would have happened, in any universe, if it weren’t for Viktor’s actions. Yet, Jayce loves him, still. Enough to give everything up for him. Enough to stay with him until the end, even after Viktor gave him the choice to leave and save himself.
In their last moment, as they hold hands and Jayce tenderly holds the back of Viktor’s neck, you can see Jayce grimace and brace for impact. Meanwhile, Viktor’s face is completely calm. He’s not afraid this time. Not with Jayce there with him. He can finally rest knowing that he was enough for someone. He left an impact on someone. He was important to someone. That’s all he’s ever wanted.
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I truly cannot overstate just how much I adore Colin Bridgerton as a male love lead, and how important his story is, in particular in a current, modern reading. We live in a time of alpha male machismo that in many ways mirrors the sexism of the historical time period Colin is in, and we have a hero who explicitly rejects it. More than that, we have a hero who first tries on the persona, first tries to fit in, and then determines, with no outside influence and all on his own, that it's wrong. That he doesn't want to be like the men of his society, that he doesn't like the expectation of sex without love and commitment and connection, that he doesn't want to be 'one of the boys', even if it comes at their derision.
Because when Violet says he has always been her most sensitive child, when he has always considered others before himself, when he has always offered a joke or a moment of levity- for so long, he felt he had to. That there was no other choice.
Colin Bridgerton, The Great Pretender, is finally coming into the light.
Take my hand. Come walk with me.
Colin's arc is incredibly clear, and incredibly dear to me. We can track his progress throughout the seasons he has been in, but if we consider his backstory, it comes even more in clarity.
Piecing together a timeline with some influence from the books and loose historical accuracy, Colin loses his father at 12 and then is sent off to Eton. And he is a tiny thing when his father passes, shorter even than his 9 year old sister, Eloise.
(Yes, I checked!! He's half a head shorter than Eloise, and an entire head shorter than Daphne. This boy is SMALL)
So it makes a lot of sense to me that this is the start of his fake-it-to-make-it personality. He cannot grieve with his family in these circumstances, he's been sent off to school with other boys who are bigger and stronger than him, and he must realize relatively quickly that weakness in their eyes will never be tolerated. In fact, Eton was well known for corporal punishment and bullying during this time. Older boys were well known to mistreat the younger once, and considering just how small and soft-hearted Colin is, and just how vulnerable he is having lost his father-
Of course Colin would become a target of such.
And despite that, we meet him in Season 1 with an endearing earnestness and hopefulness in the world. Something inside him, something sweet and gentle and warm, thrives to live. And fights against grief to do so. How easy it would have been for him to lose his father and be bitter. How easy for him to see his father die from the steps of Aubrey Hall, to be sent to a boarding school away, and withdraw in on himself.
And yet, he doesn't.
At least, not in the way one would suspect. Instead, Colin becomes a chronic people pleaser. If the people around him are happy, then he will be safe. Will not be hurt. And they have no space for his own hurt, regardless. There's hardly even any space for his mirth, as most people didn't even reply to his letters on his travels the previous season.
In Colin's confession in Season 3, he says 'I have spent so long trying to feel less', and this numbing begins early in his life. He's a consummate gentleman in Season 1. He does everything by the book, everything as he should. He wants to be accepted in his society, wants to be taken seriously, wants to belong. So he sees a pretty woman, and he gets along with her well enough, and he courts her. Openly, honestly, in full view. It isn't a heart-stopping love, but he has numbed himself for years at this point, so affection will do, and if proper men of his society are married, well, maybe he'd finally be taken seriously.
And yet, no one notices him, even still. No one except Penelope. His own mother doesn't recognize his behavior, and worries for him after she does. How long has it been since she's actually seen him? We know from the show that he's incredibly close to his mother, and loves her dearly, but we also know that after Edmund's passing, Violet was mired in grief and post-partum depression. Colin misses much of this as a firsthand witness since he's at school, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to tell, wouldn't be affected by losing his mother and father in one fell swoop. In fact, Colin loses his connection to the majority of his family in being sent to school so soon after the tragedy. So of course he comes back and he tries not to make waves. Tries to do things correctly.
His friction with Anthony proves time and time again that nothing he does is entirely ever able to fully please him, and this causes contention in their brotherly bond. Of all the siblings, Anthony is arguably the most harsh with Colin. And he is also the model for who a man should be in the family, as the head of the family.
So when Anthony sees Colin earnestly try to marry, he scoffs him off. Accuses Colin of only wanting to marry to have sex, and then claiming "It is my fault. I should have taken you to brothels." This is the first on-screen shaming of Colin looking for connection before sex, and Colin doubles down. He wants to marry for love.
But he doesn't actually love Marina. Neither of them truly know each other, and so when it all blows up, and he is humiliated to the entirety of his community, Colin gets his first taste of romantic failure. He tried to do it right, and it ended more wrong than he could have ever imagined. So, maybe Anthony was right. Maybe he is just a foolish, green boy, who has no idea how to go about things. The fallout of his failed engagement echoes in the persona he puts on in Season 3, and the choices he undergoes during them. Is it any wonder he ends up going to brothels to have unfulfilling sex if even his own BROTHER, the head of his family, tells him to do so?
It doesn't happen right away, though. Despite the fact that no one truly checks on him or sees how this breakup effects him (Eloise dismisses the hurt he must feel in light of such events with an honestly rather accurate wave-away "Men are always less affected", and that is true), it is evident that he is NOT okay.
We leave Colin in Season 1 putting on a mask, a happy face to his family, a 'you inspired me' to Penelope, and then spends his travels sad. Depressed. Taking drugs to try to ease his mind, occupying himself with writing to Penelope. In Season 2, he spends the entirety of it trying to be useful. And he does this with Penelope. He feels deeply for her, he cares so much for her, and he even says it to her aloud 'You are special to me' and 'I will always look after you' and how he could never give her up. Season 2 is a season of healing for Colin- he closes his chapter with Marina with a relationship post-mortum conversation after he does a wellness check to make sure she's alive (let's be real here, no one else was going to reach out to her. She made it clear to him that even her own father didn't want her), makes amends with Will, proves himself useful to Penelope, and departs on a high: he thinks he threaded the needle. He thinks he was successful sending Jack off, that he made Penelope happy, and that he's in with The Boys.
But whilst the person he is around Penelope is genuine, the person he is around these men are not. We know from Season 3 that they don't actually like him. They make snide, underhanded comments toward him, and laugh at him. I stand by the idea that end of season 2 is Fife and Co. laughing at Penelope AND laughing at Colin. They don't care about their friendship, they're teasing him for caring about her so openly, and Colin is protective of the relationship he has with Penelope. So he makes a comment for the boys, and puts on his mask. 'I would never court Penelope Featherington' (look, I'm just like you. I walk like you, talk like you, speak like you) 'Not in your wildest fantasies, Fife' (I am one of you one of you one of you- so why does it feel so hollow?)
He gets, now, his first taste of acceptance from them. They come to him to Mondrich's bar, he repays his slight against him, and he feels he is one of them. (Does he truly *want* to be one of them?) And so when we open Season 3, it's a smooth progression.
Colin is walking the walk and talking the talk, and yet his heart isn't in it. He's not one of these smarmy men, but he mimics them. Their behavior. In part, at least. Whilst Fife is out preying on 18 year old women in coat closets, Colin is telling gaggles of girls how pretty they are and how with such nice dresses, they're sure to find a husband. He makes it clear he's not an option, but that he doesn't mind being a fantasy. And Luke Newton does an amazing job making that clear: there are three sides of Colin. The Colin portrayed to his society in the light in good company (1) and the Colin portrayed to his society in the dark, in. . .less savory circles (aka: The Lads)(2), his 'armor' as his mum calls it. And finally, the most important but the one kept closest to the chest: the Colin of truth. The Colin who cries alone in his room after a breakup, the Colin who doesn't burden others with his feelings, the Colin who writes to Penelope, the Colin who loves deeply and feels deeply.
But his society has no use for a man like the real Colin, they do not *want* a man like real Colin, so he puts it under lock and key. And so much of this is centered around his feelings about sex, so here comes my 'Colin is Queer' soapbox. Colin does not experience sexual attraction like the rest of the men of the ton. He is expected to find it casual and be cavalier about it. To just want to fuck for the sake of fucking. But Colin needs love and romance and connection to actually enjoy sexual interactions. Nowadays, we recognize this as being on the asexual spectrum, of being demisexual, but he didn't have words for that in the time period he's in, so he has to forge ahead to figure himself out without a community identity to find solidarity with. That's what makes the brothel scenes so interesting as a narrative device: in the first, he's masking even in the midst of it, and in the second, he can't. After kissing Penelope, he finally, for the first time in his life, has a sexual interaction that means something to him.
It's the first one he truly enjoys, and the first one that feels right to him. It clicks for him that oh, that's what it's meant to be like. And the strain of that realization whilst still having to be what his society expects of him puts immense stress on his shoulders. You see how he grows more and more uncomfortable about the conversations, until finally he rejects it outright.
Even when it's very much not encouraged for him to do so. He's even told "You are much more fun this season." That's why he hides himself. From near everyone, even his family, even his brothers. It's telling how Anthony's positive interaction with Colin is when they're at the club, and Anthony praises him for his most recent attention. Have we seen much of Anthony being proud of Colin, otherwise? Not really. So he's reinforced in his persona. Doesn't boast of his travels because it didn't have anyone liking him for it, before. Doesn't even say how many cities he's gone to. Except with Penelope.
In the books, there's a line about their kiss, referencing how his world will never be the same. And it won't be. Because when Colin says that she helps him see the world in new ways, it's in a multitude of meanings.
Penelope refuses to let him wear the mask, because in truth, Penelope is the only one who doesn't like it. Not only does she see the real Colin, but she enjoys the real Colin. Whilst everyone else is simpering over Colin's new look and attitude, rejects who he is in reality, Penelope dismisses it, wants the person she knows him to be instead. It's only when he strips down the facades that Penelope allows him into her life again. And her Whistledown article was harsh, but it was also true. He *is* masking. He *is* putting on a persona and a role. But she was wrong when she asked if Colin even knows which is real: Colin knows very well which is real. And he also knows the realities of him haven't been accepted.
When Colin tells Penelope charm can be taught, he speaks from experience. When he says 'living for the expectations of others is a trap' it is because he has already fallen into it, and if he can't dig himself out, maybe he can keep her from it. Colin tells her 'you do not need lessons' and that she is fine exactly as she is, because just as she sees the real him and loves him, he sees the real her, and loves her, too. But they both live in the constraints of their society, and so they both put on the masquerade. Even sometimes to hide from each other.
The current climax of his arc is when he's out with the lads, after they all go off to the brothel again, and he disassociates from the experience. Playing cards and insisting on sharing sexual exploits, to which he does not want to take part, and makes a lighthearted dig at them. 'There is no gentleman at this table'. He includes himself in that, and then clarifies. He speaks aloud for the first time to them the truth of his heart- 'Do you not ever tire of the expectation to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning? Do you not find it lonely?' Can it really only just be him?
And it is. Or, maybe it isn't, but the rest of them aren't brave enough to admit it, so they're okay in making him feel like it is, in outcasting him for being a romantic, for caring about a woman beyond what she can provide for him sexually. Colin professes he doesn't like who he's become, doesn't like the expectations for him to behave the way he has, and they laugh at him. Again. He is made fun of, again.
He goes home and he falls in his bed and he feels like he lost it all. Lost Penelope to his own advice, and lost his newfound shine in his community. But when he's faced with which one matters more to him, he chooses Penelope. Unhesitatingly.
Colin chooses to be sensitive. He chooses to be a warm-hearted, gentle man in a society that prefers sexist machismo. Act one way in the light and another in the shadows. Colin wants to live authentically, as a man he doesn't really have a role model for. He is brave and he is tender, he sees the sexism of his society and he rejects it. He sees the importance Penelope has in his life, the way she makes him feel, and he embraces her wholeheartedly. He wants love and romance, he wants connection and meaning.
Colin, The Great Pretender, sick of pretending. Colin, walking into that ballroom and giving Fife the cut direct when he invites him out. Colin, cutting into a dance in the middle of a ball between Penelope and a man the entire city knows is about to propose. Colin staring deeply into her eyes with such unfiltered longing even *Cressida* can't help but notice what's going on. Colin running off after Penelope in full view of his society, outrunning a *carriage* to see her. Begging her to let him in. Colin on his knees, all but flaying his chest open for Penelope to see his heart. Colin made a choice when that candle flickered out, and his choice was Penelope. His choice was himself. And his choice was to flip off societal expectation and to live for love, damn the consequences.
I think our own world would be a better place if modern men took his example, too. Colin Bridgerton as male love lead in Bridgerton, a global show, is such a refreshing, wonderful example. A man who tried to be like what the world wanted, and who decided to go against the gender norms of his time. A man who prioritizes the woman he loves, who risks ridicule in doing so and comes to realize that he doesn't care. He doesn't care anymore about being one of the boys, one of the lads, one of the guys. Fuck his society if his society can't recognize the beauty of what he feels with Pen. He cares about being the best self he can be. And that best self is around Penelope, inspired by Penelope.
Because how he is with Penelope? God, I could swoon. At every turn, he prioritizes her comfort and personhood. He validates her, he sees her in beautiful, positive light and he helps her see herself that way, too. He encourages her to be brave because he already feels she is, he refuses to let her call herself stupid or a laughingstock, he apologizes without excuses, he checks in on her every step of the way. He's so passionate in that carriage, he's burning for her, he's yearning, but he doesn't do anything until she agrees for him to. He confesses his feelings and when she says they're friends, he backs off. He listens, he cares. He apologizes for overstepping her boundaries, and then when she gives him her consent, the only thing on his mind is showing how much he wants and appreciates her by providing her pleasure. Colin, the people pleaser, dedicated only to pleasing two people in that moment: Penelope, and himself. Because he wants to do that, to give her an orgasm that exists just for her. He's a witness to it, and that's pleasure for him, too. He waits for her nod of consent, he revels in seeing her enjoying herself. And the aftercare- I could cry.
Colin is a man who had every single reason not to be a kind, sensitive soul, and still he chose it. Chose to share it because the headline, even a wallflower can bloom, that's not just for Penelope.
It's for Colin, too.
#colin bridgerton#polin#bridgerton#penelope featherington#i just love him so so much#if colin has 0 fans i've died#i just feel so connected to him as a character i could keep going#like this is SO long and i have more to say#will have to edit later for now have some unfiltered thoughts
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i think it's interesting that edwin attracts lonely people.
-the cat king has seemingly never had a real substantial relationship. he lives his lives playing tricks and games, not actual connections
-monty literally only ever spoken to one (1) other person, and that's his fucked up mother familiar mommy situationship that he needs, like, so much therapy to unpack
-simon, maybe the only other gay kid in this boarding school, completely isolated from his peers by virtue of his identity and society and shame
-niko, who has been hiding in her room, avoiding other people for months out of grief and something larger (the inherent unavoidable devastation of growing up alone)
-and, of course, charles. charles, who died alone. charles, one of the only non white kids at that boarding school. charles, who's dad didn't love him and who's mom didn't say anything. charles, who flirts with every girl he meets. charles, who would follow him to the end of the earth but won't ever talk about his feelings because he's brills, mate, aces. charles, who spent his entire life alone and now won't spend a minute of his afterlife alone
i dunno. i think it's interesting. edwin, who we know is lonely, attracts other lonely people.
and, not to overstep my bounds as a silly little person on tumblr, but i think it's interesting that the show has attracted a lot of lonely people, too. and i think there's a lot of reasons for that. the target demographic is teenagers & young adults, a notoriously lonely group. the show features a lot of minority characters, which will attract minority audience members, and often people who are a part of a minority feel lonely and different from the people around them. the show is about friendship and found family, and i think that attracts a lot of lonely people. shit, i'm lonely, and i was drawn to this show. yes, for the incredible music and acting and cinematography, but also because the themes are so fundamentally resonant and raw.
and THAT is why dead boy detectives is an important show. because it is a show for the lonely and the grieving and the lost. AND it is a show for the hopeful and the learning and the coping. it is a show for people who have their shit together, and people with no shit together, and people who don't even know their shit is spilt all over the floor. this show MATTERS because it speaks to the fundamental devastation in human existence AND it finds the beauty to celebrate. it says, yes, loss is horrible and life altering, and you will be okay. yes this will be awful but you will carry on. and that is SO important. do you understand how important that is?? because everyone, everyone goes through loss and change and hardships. everyone. it is a show for lonely people! and we're all fucking lonely, aren't we? isn't part of the human condition just being lonely??
dead boy detectives is a show for people wronged by men. it is a show for people coated in grief. for people who are dealing with their sexuality late in life. for people with fucked up parental relationships. for people who date as a distraction. for people who are doing great and just like a silly little ghost show! for people not doing great but trying their best anyway. most of all, it is a show for lonely people.
just. FUCK! this show MATTERS! this show MEANS SOMETHING to SO many people!! including me!!! it matters to ME!!!! and i will continue yapping about it, even if it's just into the void!!!!!!!!!!!!
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#payneland#charles rowland#niko sasaki#the cat king#save dead boy detectives#analysis#character analysis#crystal palace#renew dead boy detectives
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Peter's Vows
When Derek is born, there is an earthquake. Beacon Hills is many things, but it is not a place of earthquakes. This is an anomaly, this sudden shaking of the land, and Peter watches Talia go through the pain of birthing a cub, and he makes note of how her cries resonate with the moving earth. As the baby is brought to the world of the living, the earth shakes more; giddy, Peter thinks of the land. Giddy at this baby's birth. That's what it is.
The town reels with the destruction, however minimal it seems to be. It is the strangeness of the earthquake that has the people in a panic, and it takes two days of Mayor Yukimura calling for council meetings and community barbecues that they begin to somehwat calm down.
The baby is named Derek on the first day itself, born underneath the Nemeton, his pale blue eyes reflecting the moonlight in silver hues. Talia sobs with relief, Nathan beside her, stroking her hair. Laura is back at the pack house, safely tucked in the bed, the rest of the pack members keeping watch. Talia had wanted to bring her with them, fearing the worst of the anomaly, but their mom had convinced her to not do it. The birth of the Alpha's cub is a big deal, but it is also private: only the Mate, Emissary and Left Hand are allowed to be present, for comfort, safety, and protection, respectively.
It has been tradition since ages, and Talia is the last person to break it.
Derek is a calm baby. Sleeps through the night, doesn't cry for attention. Only does it for feeding, his survival instinct as strong as his lungs. Peter adores him, even if he may never admit it to anyone.
He is also curious about the boy. Why an earthquake? It cannot be a coincidence. Truly, he wonders how some people can be so dumb. Calling it a coincidence is insulting to the Powers That Be, which must have called upon such a natural reaction of the land for a reason. Derek is a special boy, and Peter vows to find out how.
Besides his incredibly compassionate heart, that is.
It is in his eyes, which have slowly turned into a kaleidoscope of colors, the kindness of him. Derek's trust is not so easily earned, but once it is, it is extremely difficult to dislodge it.
Derek is a boy destined to become a kind man, one that will be an Alpha with mercy in his heart but cunning in his mind. Peter sees the makings of it right from the beginning, the way the boy will procure solutions to his own problems as well as those he deems important to him. Laura is the first born and thus has the claim to being the next Hale Alpha, however Peter knows, somehow, perhaps instinctually, that Derek will be the Alpha.
Another piece of the puzzle falls in place when their emissary falls pregnant. She's an amazing woman, Claudia. Peter likes her wit and humor, and he enjoys the perspective of her husband, the deputy, and if luck is on his side, soon-to-be Sheriff of Beacon Hills. Peter is happy for the couple.
He is, also, astonished to see an almost five-year-old Derek climb onto Claudia's lap one morning, his small fists rubbing against his eyes, and his nose scrunching determinedly to find a scent.
Peter remembers the conversation well.
"Derek, honey? What are you trying to find?"
"Mine," is what Derek growls in reply to Claudia, and shoves his nose against her barely-showing belly.
Peter's laughing figure is shot out of the end of the couch and onto the floor by Claudia's impeccable throw of one of the decorative pillows from said couch.
Thereafter, it was peculiar but not unseemly to find Derek following beside Claudia, his whole little being focused on the life forming inside her. And when the night came, Peter wasn't at all surprised to witness the thunderstorm.
Claudia had plans of giving birth in the hospital, but due to miscalculated steps, or simply because of reasons not privy to them, the best possible option left for her seemed to be below the Nemeton.
John had lost his damn mind at the prospect. "It's raining! Heavily!"
"Talia gave birth in an earthquake," Claudia says through gritted teeth, "And the baby doesn't care, nor do I, John. It is—"
Her words are cut off by another scream, and she is right, of course. It is time.
Talia, John, and Peter are the only ones who should go with her, but Derek, the little sneaky wolf that he seems to have become, follows them. It isn't until halfway through that John, the human, realizes his presence first.
They move forward with the determined little boy, who is all sopping wet in his wolf onesie, and really, this is no laughing matter. Except it is.
Claudia is brought below the Nemeton, and the tree, big and branching and beautiful, hums in their presence. The canopy of it sheds them some, but not completely.
And so, under hard rain and sharp thunderstorms, Mieczysław Stilinski is born, his little body almost white under the moonlight, and his eyes, when they open, a shock of topaz, like a glinting jewel; a fallen angel, Peter thinks.
Derek carefully wraps the baby in the blanket Talia removes from the packed bag, her movements locked onto her son's and the baby's, while John tends to his wife.
Peter watches. He notes the way the baby is calmest in Derek's arms, the way Derek is mesmerized.
This is more than just being True Mates.
True Mates itself are the rarest of occurrences, but something tells him this is more than that. The earthquake, and this sudden rain, in April of all things, simply cannot be coincidence. There must be a reason, one that Peter must uncover.
In the coming years, he dedicates his time to the quest, and finds that, oh, this is something unique indeed.
Unique to the point of legend.
Of course, he gathers facts before telling anyone. Derek's control goes onto the list, as does his ability to switch between his shift as easy as breathing. Having such control at the age of seven is almost impossible, but he has it without the growing ego that would have inflated anyone else's with the amount of praise he gets.
Stiles, as Derek had nicknamed Mieczysław almost immediately post his arrival in the world, is no human. His mother's line has some pretty strong magical abilities, but the kind of power that this boy exudes surpasses imagination. Nobody notices at first, not even Peter, until Stiles is a couple of months past his third birthday. It truly isn't until Derek, almost nine, comes down from his room one day into the kitchen, says, "Which packet, Stiles?" that they realize it.
"Honey, he isn't a wolf. He cannot hear you," Nathan tells him, but Derek just shrugs.
"He is for today."
Peter hears the, "Blue one! Blue one! Blue is sooo pretty, Derek!" from Stiles, who is definitely sitting in Derek's room, upstairs.
Derek grabs the blue packet and goes upstairs, and Peter follows, followed by Talia and Nathan, who beckon Claudia as well.
Stiles sitting on the floor, a myriad of toys around him, while the packets of chips sit beside him, torn open, evidently by Derek's claws, who himself is playing with Stiles.
And they're both being fed flying chips.
The three wolves turn to Claudia as one. Her shaking head and awed face is enough to clue them in, and really, Peter thinks, this is fucking incredible.
Powers don't manifest as early as this in magic wielders. They're more of the puberty package, tied to emotions at the beginning rather than will.
This is... defying it.
Peter loves to see when the next piece of the puzzle will fall.
And it does oh so enticingly.
Years later, when Derek is fourteen and Stiles is almost nine, comes the first trial. The Alpha Summit & The Argent Treaty.
Peter doesn't believe Gerard's words to do no harm, so he sets up precautions in place. It pays off, because during the summit, he almost ends up blinding Deaucalion — something that could have turned super bad if left unchecked.
Gerard's attack is met with swift retaliation, but somehow, only his goons end up dead. Gerard himself remains free, and through sheer will, maybe, the old man manages to kidnap Laura.
By the time the adults sniff out their cub, they're too late.
Not in the sense of Laura being hurt, but in the terms of missing the action, somewhat.
When they enter the warehouse, they are faced with Gerard being held down by a black wolf, fangs around his neck, the eyes of the creature a deep, ruby red. Deeper than Talia's. At first, they all assume it to be one of the visiting Alphas, but then they realize Stiles' presence, too, and it clicks.
Stiles frees Laura from the painful looking electric rod, and comes back to Derek, coaxes him back to his human form as Peter and Nathan take care of the psychopath.
Laura lets Talia mother her, and then says, "We'll have two Alphas."
Talia looks at the now human Derek, and eyes shining with pride, she nods. "Come here, both of you," she beckons, and the boys run, Stiles' chattering a comforting sound for all of them.
A few weeks later, Derek admits to everyone he has a new friend, and talks about her often. Paige this, Paige that. Laura teases him, restrained in her words, trying not to upset Derek's control. Even Cora pulls back. Stiles, though, is almost worse.
He riles Derek to the point of him using his Alpha voice to shut up, and the whole Pack silences itself, even Talia. Stiles, though — an exception to all things sane — doesn't back down. The voice doesn't work on him, and Derek isn't phased by it. However, the smell of guilt filters through their home, and Stiles' sigh is followed by comforting words. There is no apologizing though.
Soon, they'll learn from Derek himself that he hates that everyone is walking on eggshells. That is why he kept bringing up Paige, so that someone would tease him, uncle Peter, Laura, Cora. Or that Stiles would rile him up.
"Why would he, though? He should be happy for you. I am." Cora's words are met with a laugh from Derek, and a groan of embarrassement from Stiles.
"He's weirdly possessive — don't push me, you know you are."
"Alright," Stiles sighs, "I am."
"And Paige is a great friend, but I don't nearly think about her as much as I might have let you all believe."
And that is when Peter sees it. The blink-and-you-will-miss-it purple flash of Stiles' eyes. Peter doesn't put thought into why now; he simply focuses on completing the puzzle.
And he does. True Alpha and Purple Eyes? That's easy.
That's legend.
Set in stone as the first Alpha and the first Emissary as well as Spark, who, arguably, also set in stone the sword of Excalibur.
That part of the legend has questionable sources, though. Sure, Merlin Emrys is, as per theories, the most powerful sorcerer of all time, and Arthur Pendragon the greatest ruler, the once and future king, but it doesn't have as much merit.
What Peter is sure about is that somehow, the Powers That Be decided that this is the pack to send these two to.
He watches Stiles argue about the best type of pasta with Derek, and thinks, suddenly, that perhaps this is their happy ending. What legends end happy? None. So this must be their time to be happy.
Peter vows another quest, then. To always protect Derek and Stiles.
#sterek#the hale pack#peter hale#derek hale#stiles stilinski#pov peter hale#sterek fic recs#*sterek fic recs#wow i'm on a roll today#i've had similar ideas before but wanted to write it in an experimental style#of derek & stiles being the first pair of alpha werewolf and emissary#of stiles turning derek into a wolf to protect their home and their people and hence the legend is born#if you see any errors no you don't :)#no but really it's currently 2am here and i should be studying but i am Decidedly Not#sh.writesonmain#sh.writing
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hi! i saw that you have a 1k event so i was wondering can i request, the lyrics “open up the door,can you open up the door?”- chihiro, billie eilish. “I want you to stay”-birds of a feather, billie eilish. with max verstappen?
OPEN UP THE DOOR ! MV1
[ 1k event / masterlist ]
☽。⋆ max seems to be in a terrible condition, so you really need him to open the door now — max verstappen x reader
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 angst, hurt & comfort, fluff? 𝄞 0.8k words (blurb)
He had been down for days now, a breakdown as foreseeable as the weather.
He was at his breaking point, but made sure nobody knew. Of course, he knew that showing emotion isn’t something to be ashamed of regardless of one’s gender, but there was still something so humiliating about having to give in, about having to speak about his - what the formula one fans called it - “downfall”.
He didn’t want to give in because he hadn’t lost yet. He was still leading, still the one with better chances to win the championship, but all praise towards Norris, someone who��s supposed to be his friend first and rival second, hurt like hell.
So after yet another pole for Norris, even though the rest of the day went incredibly well for Max, he really needed to let it out. Finally.
He hurried off into his driver’s room, face all red and hands shaking. He didn’t even know himself if he felt anger or sadness right this moment, all he knew was that one more stupid question by a reckless reporter would give him the rest, and a scandal like that would only make things worse. Couldn’t people just let him do his damn sport and drive? Who gives a fuck about his relationship to his fellow drivers, who cares about who he thinks should be McLaren’s first driver? Was his opinion really that important?
As if that wasn’t enough already, he had to put up with insults and doubts from fans and even his own team as well. They want him to be flawless yet only ever remind him of his flaws.
Max paced around his room, droplets of sweat running down his cheek. He was fucking done with this shit. Why couldn’t they just let him do his damn job? All he signed up for was driving, and now he had to meet random celebrities he doesn’t even know the names of, he has to put with drama fueled up for nothing and the fia now also wants him to stop swearing as if he was some little kid. It was absolute bullshit to him.
His hands clenched into fists and the familiar taste of blood in his mouth was the only thing keeping him from biting down onto his lip even harder.
But then he heard a knock.
“Max? Can you open up the door?”
He recognized you immediately. Your voice was soft and tender like the one of an angel, making his heart flutter, yet he didn’t want you to see him like that.
You were one of Max’s new engineers, and he had never been so happy to see a new face in the Red Bull garage. It was unusual at first, but you two got along as if you’d known each other for forever already, making the separation of the private life and the work life harder than Max usually knows it to be.
You had noticed that Max has been on edge for a while now, especially today. Seeing him run off to his driver’s room only worried you more.
“Sorry, y/n. Can’t at the moment”
Maybe this wasn’t professional of you, and maybe you shouldn’t be standing in front of his door waiting for him to welcome you in, but maybe you were good enough friends for you to know that he shouldn’t be alone right now, even if he thinks differently.
And maybe you wanted nothing more than to finally be there for him like he was for you when you explained to him how weird it felt to work at a place you’ve never even known or seen from outside the tv before.
“Max, can you open up the door? Please? I’m worried”
And that was all he needed to hear. The last thing he wanted was to worry you over what is supposed to be meaningless stuff like this.
He knew you were the right person for him to see right now, and he also knew you wouldn’t judge him.
And so he finally opened the door, the familiar scent of your perfume immediately filling up his nose making him practically fall into your embrace. You slightly pushed the door with your foot so it would close by itself before burying your fingers in his hair while he breathed down your neck.
With your hands cradling his scalp and his arms tight around your waist, Max knew one thing for sure; he wanted you to stay.
guys ik this is very short & bad but i cannot do better atm because of school! very sorry :( but i’m working on some other stuff already!!
#🎙️ you hear me? mel wrote some fanfic stuff or whatever#formula 1#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#mv33#mv1#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x y/n#max x reader#f1#fluff#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen angst#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#angst#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#max verstappen fanfic#mv1 x reader#mv1 x you#mv1 x y/n#rbr#formula 1 imagine#formula one#max verstappen fic#mv33 x reader#mv33 rb#mv1 fic#mv1 imagine
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solar return chart observations 1
what is a solar return chart?
the solar return chart is calculated for when the sun returns to its natal position. due to this, the chart lasts 12 months (a year). solar return charts are used to observe themes for a specific year and make predictions.
how to find your solar return chart:
head to: https://www.astro.com/horoscope
go to horoscopes -> horoscope drawing and data -> extended chart selection
enter your birth data
change chart type to solar return chart (scroll down)
north node in the 1st house can be an incredibly transformative year and can push you in the right direction towards your life's purpose. with this said, this year can push you to your limits, taking you outside of your comfort zone, and can definitely be difficult.
9th house prominence can suggest that you may be travelling overseas this year.
chiron in solar return charts shouldn't be underestimated! chiron represents our vulnerability, healing and wounds. the house, sign and aspects that chiron is in/receives will most likely be felt this year.
-> for instance, i lost my period for one year when the ruler of my 6th house (the house governing health) was conjunct the moon and chiron in my solar return chart.
the themes of the house in which your natal ascendant falls in your solar return chart can be of more significance this year.
solar return venus conjunct natal venus can suggest that your love life will become more lively and venusian themes become more prominent this year. romantic relationships are favored and can get a surge of energy.
-> for instance, my sister had this in her solar return chart the year she met her online boyfriend in person - it impacted them both positively and greatly.
solar return venus conjunct natal mars is also an indicator of the same sort of themes discussed above for solar return venus conjunct natal venus.
-> continuing on with the example used above, my sister's boyfriend had his solar return venus conjunct his natal mars in his solar return chart the year they met in person.
uranus contacting the moon (especially conjunct) can indicate that themes regarding the home, stability and security may be shaken up during this year either positively, negatively or both! this can suggest moving houses or moving overseas.
mars in the 1st house can lend to a year where motivation and drive comes easier and is generally a great time to become more physically active eg. through developing a new workout routine.
-> for instance, when i had this in my solar return chart, i was very determined and energetic that year (i burnt myself out!). i also started to focus on creating and following a workout plan to build muscle - which i did :) -, and still follow to this day.
heavy, negative 12th house prominence can indicate that secrets are more likely to circulate and impact you this year.
-> an extreme example of this would be Donald Trump's solar return chart for this year. He has 3 planets conjunct in the 12th house that only receive several squares. Saturn, being the ruler of the chart's 6th house (health), squares this stellium. He got shot recently and this shooting/assassination attempt was a secret which impacted him.
Part of fortune in the solar return chart can signify areas of importance for that year. it can definitely be interpreted as areas of luck and blessings but I also see it as a body that does have some type of karmic connotations.
thank you for reading this post!
note: everything in this post are simply my own observations and are not to be taken as solid facts. use what information resonates. :)
credit for flower dividers: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
~ 𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓪��𝓲𝓪𝓬
#astrology#astrology observations#solar return chart#astrology notes#astro observations#astro notes#astrology placements#astro community
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selective genshin men lost in your house - rich men edition
ᡣ𐭩 domestic drabbles, early relationship, domestic fluff
ᡣ𐭩 characters include: wriothesley, tartaglia, neuvillette, pantalone and ayato
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚ . ★⋆.
. ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ .˚ . . ˚ . ✦
Wriothesley: Wriothesley wakes up in your place and realises that he is completely disoriented. He is wearing a plain satin robe and wolf slippers when he gets up from your king-sized bed. Looks like you have put your effort into taking care of his clothes because he can’t find anything at all! You must have folded them so nicely, he is sure of it, but the problem is that they are visibly not here. Wriothesley goes around the room (not that he wants to rummage through your personal drawers) but he kind of needs to cover his butt. A distinguished gentleman as him can’t be walking outside in a damn satin robe. He also doesn't want to embarrass himself by calling you about such stupid matter. A grown man can’t find his clothes in his girlfriend’s house—how absurd!
After all the struggle and following his intuition Wriothesley’s finally led to the big wardrobe. He slides the door of the wardrobe and finds his suit incredibly neatly hanged. Even his tie looks as good as it was yesterday. Finally he calms down and starts dressing up.
Tartaglia: apparently you you are not rich enough to have servants, so tartaglia has to do laundry on his own. while you are absent he is forced to fight the damn washing machine, but his attempts turn out futile. Desperate and irritated that such silly matters have got power over him, Tartaglia gives up and calls you.
“Peanut, I think your washing machine strongly disagrees with me!” he cries in the phone, scratching the back of his head, still perplexed that something like a simple washing machine is enough to distress such a strong Harbinger.
“Can you first read the instruction before pressing onto all the buttons chaotically?” you tell him jokingly but truthfully yet.
After some time the silliest (strongest) Harbinger ever manages to wash yours and his stuff. Imagine how crushed he was when the underwear he pulled out from the machine was all pink.
Neuvillette: when Neuvillette wakes up in your place he certainly doesn’t expect the low ceiling you got in your cottage. His head bumps right away into the door frame and he groans, rubbing his nape. Shame on him, but he must have been so tired that he absolutely forgot how you agreed on a sleepover. He certainly is perplexed with finding himself in your cottage - that’s how silly he is, poor old man.
Neuvillette goes to your kitchen and fills himself a glass of water. He takes it and walks outside in your tiny garden to enjoy some fresh air. While he enjoys his usual morning water, he drops you a text message.
“Good morning, my love.”
“Good morning, my future husband”, you respond. “How you like my place?”
Neuvillette thinks for a moment, summarising all qualities of your cottage.
“It looks pretty and you certainly take good care of it, but this house is much smaller than my residence…”
Realising how improper his message might have sounded, he corrects himself:
“But it’s refreshing to be here. I do not lose my way in the long corridors, unlike in my mansion.”
Pantalone: he is a person who likes eating breakfast. When he wakes up in your bed he has a trouble with finding his eyeglasses first - it seems the two of you were so enamoured with each other last night that it resulted in him so messed up. When he finally gets the achievement of finding his important ass glasses, he opens your fridge and ends up devastated.
“What do you eat, girl? Oat milk and bananas? Cheese? God damn it, where’s the food here?”
Having zero desire to turn your kitchen upside down in order to find something, the polished, incredibly perfectionistic rich man simply orders a grocery delivery for the two of you. When you are back home, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Ayato: Ayato wakes up surrounded by your plushies and pillows which makes him enraged the same moment. He feels jealous of your stuffed animals because they are the ones who get your hugs most of the time. Grossed out by the thought, Ayato makes the bed neat and nice and tucks the plushies into the blanket (he wouldn’t like to upset you, but you will definitely not hear the end of his jealousy and complaints). He is a very perfectionistic and clean person, so he for sure takes good care of your house while you’re absent. He also knows how to cook, despite being always served meals. By the time you’ll have come home, there will be a few hot meals on your table; Ayato says that he has many talents, and cooking is one of them.
While strolling all over your tiny house Ayato feels himself at peace - it’s one of those rare moments when he is alone, no duties, and such narrow space seems so peaceful to him. He finds himself at such ease, free from worries while being your guest. It’s not that he does not miss his life of luxury, but he’d definitely like to spend a few more nights at your place. Later in the evening the both of you will share a what seems to be intimate family meal, and after that perhaps you’ll do something together? Ayato likes evening walks and car rides.
#genshin x reader#pantalone x reader#pantalone x you#anime x reader#neuvillette x reader#wriothesley x you#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x y/n#neuvillette x y/n#neuvillette x you#tartaglia x reader
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