#he knows he's great; as he should 💅 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astonmartinii · 1 year ago

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bite the hand | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem musician!reader [face claim: clairo + clairo, boygenius and taylor swift music]

having fans are great, but sometimes it goes to far and you have to bite the hands that feed you

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 913,551 others

tagged: beabadoobee

yourusername: howdy ladies, gentlemen and all that's in between, it's single release day. i had so much fun on this track with bea and getting to pour all of my love for maxy onto such a cute melody... hope you all enjoy my loves x

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user1: YES THANK YOU MOM THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TODAY

landonorris: how many letters in devoured?

yourusername: ATE 💅

landonorris: ate and left NO crumbs

maxverstappen1: why oh why did i ever introduce you two

yourusername: because you love us both?

maxverstappen1: i sure love you, jury is out on lando

landonorris: boooooooooo

user2: ugh if y/n had to date an f1 driver why couldn't she go for one of the hot ones like lando or charles?

user3: for real like bro he just drags her down

user4: you can't be serious? he's a professional athlete at the top of his sport and by what they show us a massive softy who loves y/n? why would we want anything else for her?

liked by yourusername

user5: y/n will NOT stand for any max bashing idk why you guys try it every time

maxverstappen1: so unbelievably talented and the artist of her generation

yourusername: maybe it's because i have a top notch muse ?

maxverstappen1: NO NO IT'S ALL YOU YOU ARE THE ARTIST I AM JUST LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR VICINITY

yourusername: i am the lucky one baby

danielricciardo: leave your cute shit offline i already have to hear it all of the time let me be on instagram

yourusername: nope love my boyfriend too much

maxverstappen1: nope love my girlfriend too much

user6: they're so insufferable i love them

user7: this song bangs so much more when you pretend it's not about ... him

user8: bro is acting like max verstappen ran over his puppy

user7: sorry i don't want a GREAT artist and BEAUTIFUL woman being dragged down by THAT

user9: you are insane, you do not know y/n, you enjoy her music, that doesn't give you the right to have power over things in her personal life

user10: you people are why this fanbase has a bad name and before long y/n will get fed up too

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 829,043 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: the off weekend spent right

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user13: i need a man so obsessed with me that all he does is post my face

user14: crazy that all this guy does is wax lyrical about how much he loves her and she's like never at his races ... interesting

user15: and her weirdly entitled fanbase say he doesn't deserve her when she clearly doesn't support him as much as he supports her

yourusername: i love you and our soft little weekends, i wanna do it all the time :(

maxverstappen1: gosh our day jobs are really quite unconventional i guess we should just retire to a remote island to live on a small farm?

yourusername: you said it not me i just wanna be anywhere with you

maxverstappen1: i love you <3

user16: RETIRE TO A REMOTE ISLAND? SOMEONE TELL THIS RAT THAT IF HE IS THE REASON WE DON'T GET MUSIC WE WILL RIDE AT DAWN

user17: babe have you ever thought that maybe the reason he said that he wants to retire away from everyone because you people stick your noses in all the time

danielricciardo: @yourusername a soft weekend you say? how many hours did max spend on the sim?

yourusername: a solid ten but he even let me have a go

danielricciardo: oh wow that man really is in love

maxverstappen1: i think she'd rival a couple of you with some practice, i'm working on getting her to join redline

user18: ugh this is so annoying... preaching like you like spending time with your girlfriend and then spend it all playing a video game and letting her have one go?

user19: the sim is something f1 drivers use to train? if anything max probably shouldn't have let y/n have a go she could've accidentally changed the set up or other things

user20: i'm seeing charles and lewis training this off weekend and he just lies in bed with this girl? he really needs to ditch her to stay at the top

user21: literally two comments up is them talking about him training on the sim the jealousy is insane from both fans at this point

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 893,442 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy to take home another win in mexico, i love this track and am forever thankful to this team and my loved ones.

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user25: holy shit idk what f1 can do but the paddock looked insane today there's no way that is safe for the drivers and personnel.

user26: there's so many videos of people rushing max and although some of them look like max fans who are just excited but there were a lot of very rude rival fans trying to get too close for comfort

yourusername: forever proud of you !! you're like jimmy and sassy with zoomies on crack <3

maxverstappen1: that is the highest of the high compliment thank you my love

yourusername: champagne is on me girlypops no expense spared for the love of my life

redbullracing: do we all qualify as girlypops ???

yourusername: of course !! don't think i didn't notice the supply of vegan pizza rolls you truly are the lactose intolerant allies of the grid

user27: can she stop spending all her hard earned money on this scrub that just uses her

user28: bro makes millions in a year he doesn't NEED her but that doesn't mean he can't want her? you guys are crazy

user29: some of these fans need to do some serious evaluation, drivers are not zoo animals, they are people and deserve respect and that includes respect to their personal space.

user30: for real like why was brad basically having to act as a body guard for max and y/n

user31: this was such a dangerous event for max and y/n. they're both very famous individuals and should be able to move around the paddock without being in danger.

user32: max joked about getting a body guard for this weekend but i think he should seriously consider it especially is y/n is coming to more races while she's not touring

danielricciardo: it has been brought to my attention that y/n has stated that she will spare no expense, i am making a formal enquiry into whether this will cover my bar tab?

yourusername: i will within reason but only because your bffs with maxy and will drink the fruity lil cocktails with me

danielricciardo: REAL men drink cocktails

maxverstappen1: do NOT disrespect the humble gin and tonic on my post

user33: i'm glad they're in high spirits after the shenanigans in the paddock today and the booing towards max :(

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, maxverstappen1 and 1,442,776 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: there is no full way to articulate my feelings right now. my fans have to respect my personal relationships and my boundaries. i appreciate your support but you have to understand that i am not your personal friend and you do not have the right to my personal life. i also understand that in sport, there are a lot of heightened emotions, but drivers do not owe you their safety. this is something i have felt for a long time since max and i became a public couple and the onslaught of hate came for him. you may say that it comes from a good place, or for my best interests, but the manner in which some 'fans' have expressed their 'worries' is unacceptable. i do not want to bite the hand that feeds me, but there's only so many slaps me and my loved ones can take from the hand.

bite the hand is out on all streaming platforms. please listen closely a re-evaluate your relationships with your favourite artists, thank you.

comments are not available on this post.

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,220,664 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i love you and i will never let other people tell me when i'm not enough get in my head again. we both appreciate our support and acknowledge that we would be nowhere without it. but our relationships are ours, please respect this.

comments are not available on this post

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,344,229 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: okay sad songs are important but it's now time for me to sing my wee little heart out about how much i love you and how i know we were always made for each other.

i love you maxy, invisible string is all about my muse. out now.

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user41: IT BANGS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user42: ffs i guess we're stuck with this man for life now ...

user43: LISTEN TO BITE THE HAND AND BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AND HEAR THE PINBALLS OF YOUR BRAIN GOING CRAZU

user44: speak your truth sis

maxverstappen1: ISN'T IT JUST SO PRETTY TO THINK THAT ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOME INVISIBLE STRING TYING YOU TO ME

maxverstappen1: so true, you make me believe in soulmates YOU ARE MY SOULMATE I LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you to the moon and to saturn for real

yourusername: and that thread of gold is made from all of your trophies LET'S GO RAHHHHHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

maxverstappen1: the gold of that grammy @thegrammys yall heard bags?

user45: the way they're each others wags and completely embrace it

user46: i love that they're still their goofy asses they don't give a shit abou t yall

user47: y/n dropped a heart wrenching track and immediately went ... but hey i'm SUPER happy and that's all you're going to hear

landonorris: so like can y/n remix the dutch anthem so we can actually bop every weekend

yourusername: i kinda wanna marry the king of the netherlands so maybe not

landonorris: you broke up ?????

yourusername: no you dumbass max is the king of the netherlands

maxverstappen1: not factually but i do have a medal from the royal family so same thing

landonorris: why do you guys have to clown on me every time

yourusername: you're like our baby brother it's our duty

maxverstappen1: sorry not sorry

user48: you could never make me hate them they're made for each other

user49: finally bite the hand shamed the crazy bitches into finally shutting the fuck up

note: i love bite the hand i actually fear it might be my fave boygenius song and i recommend it to everyone. i actually did my university dissertation on parasocial relationships with athletes so like i feel like a good couple of sports fans could do with a listen to bite the hand. hope yall enjoyed and had a good weekend !! (chelsea gave me a heart attack but what's new, even though i was too sick to go to the game:()

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 #f1 x you #f1 social media au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen

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rhey-007 · 1 year ago

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Anger Harms Beauty

Lance Stroll x Alonso!reader

• | social media au / enemies to lovers

Summary: Your father setting you up for a horrible date with Lance, changed your both's indifference to a mutual hate. But when your inappropriate photos get leaked out the Canadian is first to defend and help you.

Warnings/Tags: female reader, fluff, mentions of revealing photos, toxic reader and Lance, mutual hate, enemies to lovers

A/N: I'm recently head over heels with Lance so you can expect more fics with him 🧍‍♀️ I also have a personal beef with his Vegas beard it's too much, the Brazil one was just perfect TwT

INSTAGRAM

lance_stroll just followed y/n._.alonso

y/n._.alonso just followed lance_stroll

INSTAGRAM

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, y/n._.alonso and 50,678 others

tagged: astonmartinf1, fernandoalo_oficial

•lance_stroll: Great weekend in Montreal! Thank you all! 💞

•fernandoalo_oficial: P3 and P7! We're rocking it!

•user1: can't believe Lance was P7...

•astonmartinf1: great performance from both drivers! Congrats! 👏🥳🎉

•y/n._.alonso: SHAVE OFF THAT GROSS DILL 🤢 you look older than my father and he's almost 50!

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: I'm not that old... :(

→ •y/n._.alonso: Lo siento papa 💞 (I'm sorry dad)

→ •lance_stroll: shave your armpits and then we can talk

→ •user2: Lance is savage 😮

→ •user3: that's more mean than savage

INSTAGRAM

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, lance_stroll and 45,923 others

•y/n._.alonso: 🥰🤤🍴

•fernandoalo_oficial: my baby should open a restaurant!!! 💞🤤

•user4: ah to be y/n and eat such delicious food whenever I want and still have a body of a goddess... TwT

•lance_stroll: you're gonna be fat if you eat all that

→ •y/n._.alonso: says a guy who eats the trashiest food ever

→ •lance_stroll: at least I work out and don't slump in bed 24/7

•bluebellhorner: best food I ate in like forever! 😍

→ •y/n._.alonso: thank you honey! 💞💞💞

•user5: I want to try it so bad 😭

INSTAGRAM

liked by y/n._.alonso, estebanocon and 763,213 others

•lance_stroll: just bought this beauty and I can't get over how amazing it is! 😍

•estebanocon: good for you buddy! The best car you own for sure! 💪

•logansargeant: what a pretty beast! when's my turn for a ride?

→ •lance_stroll: whenever you'd like :)

•y/n._.alonso: you should buy yourself a new face not a car

→ •lance_stroll: some's jealous daddy won't buy them one 🤭

→ •y/n._.alonso: I can buy it myself I don't need daddy's money... Not like someone 🤭👉👈

→ •user6: •lance_stroll you got shot with your own weapon! XD

•user7: I want this car so much 😩

→ •user8: maybe one day... 🥲

INSTAGRAM

liked by bluebellhorner, fernandoalo_oficial and 567,365 others

tagged: •yourbestie

•y/n._.alonso: gym day with my girlie •yourbestie 💪🥊

•user9: I want that body yadi 😭

→ •user10: we all want that body yadi 🥲

•lance_stroll: oh look who started to go to the gym, wonder why... 🤔

→ •y/n._.alonso: shut up, you wouldn't even take my dad in a fight

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: don't even bring me into that...

→ •user11: the father has had enough 😂

→ •user12: he's done with both of them

→ •user13: why do they keep fighting under every post???

•yourbestie: I'm not going to the gym with you anymore... I can't walk now... 🥲

→ •y/n._.alonso: love you too hihi 🤭💞

INSTAGRAM

liked by bluebellhorner, fernandoalo_oficial and 687,345 others

tagged: yourbestie

•y/n._.alonso: looking for a new boo 🤭💍

•yourbestie: great weekend so far! Can't wait for the rest! 😘

•user13: petition for y/n and bestie to adopt me as their new friend 🧍‍♀️🙋‍♀️

→ •user14: me too!

→ •logansargeant: I want too!

→ •user13: nu-uh, you would spy for Lance >:(

→ •logansargeant: 😔

•lance_stroll: You're not gonna find anyone there, too high level for you

→ •y/n._.alonso: you're ona a waaaay lower level than me 🙃

→ •lance_stroll: you wish

→ •y/n._.alonso: no. I know it 💅

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial and 789,324 others

tagged: lance_stroll

•y/n._.alonso: this guy... I can't 😭💞

Never thought he'll become the closest person for me in those hard times. He appeared in my apartment the same day those photos leaked out, arms stuffed with food, flower bouquets and a huuuge teddy bear plushie (I still have no idea how he managed to bring all those things upstairs in one go), ready to comfort me as long as I'd need it. •lance_stroll I'm sorry I was such a bitch, I love you 💞

And I withdraw my words that •fernandoalo_oficial has the worst taste in men. He knew way better than me from the start and I regret not giving Lance a second chance at the very beginning just as he suggested me to. I'm sorry dad, love you too 💞

•lance_stroll: I forgive you fatty ❤

→ •y/n._.alonso: don't even start or it'll end too soon -_-

→ •lance_stroll: sorry mami ❤

→ •user15: that is so cute I can't 😭💞

→ •user16: THEY ARE TOO CUTE KSXNDNBDJEJ

•fernandoalo_oficial: of course I was right 🧍‍♀️💅

→ •y/n._.alonso: Eres el mejor papa 💞 (you're the best dad)

→ •lance_stroll: •fernandoalo_oficial can I call you papa too now? :3

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: nope 🤨🧐

→ •lance_stroll: :(

•estebanocon: fucking finally! 🎉

→ •logansargeant: YEEES 💥💪 YOU GUYS SLAY

→ •yourbestie: stop...

•yourbestie: •lance_stroll our beef ain't ending here >:(

→ •lance_stroll: •y/n._.alonso❗ she's is threatening me again❗❗❗

→ •y/n._.alonso: don't even start... 🫥

→ •user17: AGAIN??? •yourbestie GURL WHAT DID YOU DO???

→ •yourbestie: 🤭💞

→ •user18: I bet she tried killing him more than once 😂

INSTAGRAM

#f1 #f1 fanfiction #fanfiction #female reader #formula 1 #formula one #fluff #lance stroll fluff #lance stroll #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll x you #lance stroll x y/n #social media #fernando alonso #hate comments

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oinkinpigprince · 7 months ago

Note

may I have a Charlie x reader from smiling friends where he has a huge crush on the reader

You may, I like how you worded it, sounds like you’re in a fast food drive through :33

Charlie x reader

Wowee what a situation!! I feel like this could go two ways, one you work together or you two were already friends, let’s go w/ the work buddies

When you started working he didn’t really think anything of it. Depending on where you were working would his feelings may develops

Let’s just say you work on the field, trying to make people smile. You and him rarely work together you choosing to work alone, but you two hangout in the break room.

Charlie likes to think he’s smooth and a “flirt” but he’s so awkward sometimes it hurts, you two will be sitting in the break room and he tries to spark up conversation it goes like

“ so uhh, have you seen that uhh, new movie?” “Which movie?” “The uh, new one with that uh, super hero” “I think so?” “….” “….” “I think Pim needs my help later.”

Absolute lady(gender neutral) killer right here folks

When he finally finds some common ground with you though or you two have work with each other long enough then it gets better

He becomes less awkward and actually able to talk to you which is great for your developing relationship and for everyone else dealing with the second hand embarrassment!

Now no matter what you two are going to become friends and he’ll finally calm down enough to have a proper conversation with you, and he is quite smooth tbh

He loves doing things for you and is a really caring person, you’re hungry? He was gonna get lunch anyways so you should totally tag along, you don’t wanna do your paper work? He has some free time to help, bored? Wanna play the new street fighters game with him

Charlie really values your work ethics and how well you’re able to do your job and he isn’t shy to compliment you, within reason. It’ll be a simple “good job out there”, like gee whizz slow down there casanova 🙄💅

But seriously he’s a really sweet person, when he tells you something he means it and he hopes you know that

It’s a little awkward at first but once he’s able to calm down and think properly, he’s a very loyal and caring man

#smiling friends #smilig friends headcanons #smiling friends x reader #smiling friends x reader headcanons #Charlie dompler #Charlie dompler headcanons #Charlie dompler x reader #Charlie dompler x Reader headcanons #smiling friends Charlie #smiling friends Charlie headcanons #smiling friends Charlie x reader headcanons #smiling friends Charlie dompler #smiling friends Charlie dompler x reader #smiling friends Charlie dompler headcanons #smiling friends Charlie dompler x reader headcanons

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ckret2 · 11 months ago

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Chapter 32 of human Bill is convinced he's the best prisoner ever and does not deserve this abuse from the Pines:

Bill gets his fingernails painted! 💅🌈✨ Look at his fingernails, I drew this week's picture just to show them off. They're fun.

Bill also gets bound to a magic poppet that can control his every move.

It's hilarious for Dipper and Mabel, but not for Bill.

The early morning still was broken by Stan's wails of despair.

At some point during the night, the egg-and-toilet-papering kids had come back to Stan's car.

And they'd brought rocks.

####

Bill woke up with a sheet tossed over him and a cupcake sitting on the window seat. The cupcake was pink with green frosting and decorated like a happy jack-o'-melon. It was sitting on top of a note:

"Sorry I didn't mention I had plans tonight! Robbie's mom made cupcakes for everyone so I grabbed you one. The music video's gonna be AMAZING! I'll show you when Robbie posts it!" Mabel had signed with a shooting star.

Bill decided he hadn't been mad at Mabel last night at all.

He battled gravity to heave himself vertical, trudged downstairs to the bathroom, stuck his face under the faucet until his mouth tasted less like sour sandpaper, agonizingly dragged himself back upstairs to his makeshift bed, and collapsed under the sheet to wait until his head stopped hammering.

####

Sprawled on the living room floor, Mabel said, "What should I draw?"

"Draw me." Bill was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, watching the news and nursing a glass of Mabel juice. In an effort to counteract the lingering queasiness from overdosing on sugar and chocolate, he'd spiked the juice with two ground-up Elderly 60+ Vitaman™ brand Man Vitamins (khaki flavor) stolen from a bottle that Ford had bought for Stan and that Stan forgot to take.

"Okay!" Mabel turned around and squinted up at Bill. "Strike a pose!"

"Not like this!" Bill shoved a hand in Mabel's face to force her to stop looking. "Draw me how I really look."

"Bill, that's illegal. Remember?" Mabel pointed at the TV. Bodacious T was reporting on a child who'd dressed up for Summerween as "that weird out-of-towner who bothered us last year, you know the one," and who, under the Never Mind All That Act, had been fined fifty pieces of candy. The child's mugshot showed his crying face, but blurred out his yellow costume.

"He'd be the coolest kid in town," Bill said, "if he wasn't such a crybaby in front of the cops. Draw me anyway."

"I don't wanna get arrested!"

"Do you see any cops?" Bill grinned. "Just don't sign your name, nobody will know it was you."

Mabel considered that. "I can sign it someone else's name." She pulled out a few crayons.

"That's what I'm talking about! Do anything you want forever and frame the innocent!"

"What do you want me to draw you doing?"

"The coolest thing you can think of."

Mabel considered that, and got to work.

The news was boring now. They were talking about the weather, and it wasn't even interesting weather. "So hey, you were gonna tell me about filming last night?"

"Oh yeah!" Mabel said. "Did I mention the part where the dead rose from their graves?"

Bill muted the TV. "And I missed it?"

Robbie had decided the cemetery at his place would be more atmospheric than the trick-or-treater-filled streets (and less likely to have their shots ruined by passersby that didn't appreciate the depth of Robbie's lyrics). It went great, until the vibrations of angsty rock-and-roll stirred the slumbering corpses and they clawed their way from their graves. It turned out Gravity Falls had been having off-and-on invasions of the undead for the past year, ever since somebody decided to reanimate every corpse in town for fun, Bill.

"You can't prove it was me, I'm not the only one who knows how to raise the dead!" Bill laughed. "Hey—you're not drawing this body, are you? You said you wouldn't."

"I'm not, I promise!"

"Then why do you keep staring at me?"

"Um."

"Let me see!"

"No! Don't ruin the surprise!" Mabel picked up a glitter pen with feathers glued to the end and waved them in Bill's face. "And no cheating with your eye-bleeding psychic magic!"

Bill smacked the pen away. "Fine! So what did you do with the zombies? Feed one of the teens to them?"

"No! I chewed like four packs of gum me and Dipper got from the weird homeless dentist and made a fake baby brain. We used it as bait to lead them into an open grave," Mabel said. "And then we realized we could use the brain to train them to do tricks! So now we have dancing zombies in the music video. They actually learned the choreography pretty easily."

"Makes sense," Bill said. "I did fill the space where their souls should be with an insatiable hunger to party."

Mabel grinned. "I thought you said they weren't your fault."

"If they're good at dancing, I'm taking credit!"

"They were pretty good—especially considering how many limbs they were missing," Mabel said. "I'll show you when Robbie's finished editing the video."

"And I'll get to see you playing a creepy ghost kid, right?"

"Yeah! We were the greatest ghosts ever! Check it out, we were like—" Mabel fixed Bill with a dead-eyed slack-jawed stare and whisper-sang, "'We're the things that you have lost. Childhood joy, dead as a ghost.'"

"Chills."

"Dipper tried so hard to get in character as a ghost that he completely zoned out for a minute! When we shook him out of it, he said he felt like he had an out-of-body experience!"

####

At his computer, Robbie clicked play on a clip of the twins standing side-by-side in front of the cemetery gate. As they sang the chorus, Dipper's face went still; and then a spectral gray form rose out of his head, still singing in sync with Mabel.

"Whoa," Robbie said. "Sick. I'm keeping that in."

####

"So, it turns out my bro is an expert method actor," Mabel boasted.

Bill thought back to Dipper drifting up and down the stairs in the middle of the night. "Yep. Sounds like he's got quite a talent."

Mabel set down her crayons and held out a paper. "Okay—what do you think?"

Bill accepted the drawing. "Am I riding on the back of a rocket ship?"

"Like a bucking bronco! See the rocket flames doing a loop?"

"Sure do. Why am I holding a fish bowl?"

"It's like a cowboy waving his hat, but, you're in space. So that's your astronaut helmet."

"It's beautiful," Bill said intensely. "It's the best thing I've ever seen."

"Aw, really? Thanks!"

"When I take over the universe, I'm rearranging the constellations to look like this."

"Don't do that, though."

"Fine, but I'm hanging it up in my throne room." Bill set down his empty glass so he could hold the picture with both hands, beaming at it as proudly as though he'd made it himself. Big change from his lukewarm reception of her house drawing yesterday. She should draw Bill more often. Being a good artist meant understanding what your audience wanted.

Unfortunately, now that she'd finished her drawing, she didn't have anything to distract her from staring at Bill. And she'd taken about as much of seeing him as she could stand. "Bill. I say this with non-judgmental love. But you look sooo terrible."

"Yeah, I know. I think I'm shaped about as nicely as a human could ask for," he pantomimed drawing a triangle in front of his torso, "but let's be real, there's only so much you can do when you're working with a human bone structure. And there's way too much neck—"

"No! Bill, your body is beautiful just the way it is, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I meant your hair looks awful."

Bill had taken a shower yesterday morning, emerged with his hair all wet and tangled, and done absolutely nothing to detangle it. And then, with it still half damp and totally disheveled, he'd shoved it under a cheap acrylic wig for the rest of the night. And then he'd fallen asleep on the floor still wearing the wig.

And now, with the wig removed, his hair looked like a bird had plucked out half a scarecrow's straw brains and made a nest out of it.

"It sure does," Bill said, with the slightly forlorn air of someone complaining about a war in a far-off country over which one had no power.

"So brush it!"

"No. Never. You can't make me."

"Why not? I thought you wanted to keep your hair all triangly!"

"Not enough to touch it. Either it'll figure out how to straighten out on its own or it won't, I'm not messing with it. I've got enough going on in my life today." By which he meant he had the last lingering traces of a hangover, which was a valid excuse to get out of all social, moral, and aesthetic obligations.

Mabel groaned in frustration. "I can't take looking at it anymore! If you won't brush it, can I?"

Bill gave her a skeptical look; but then he flung his hands out dismissively. "Sure, why not? If it bothers you so much. Have at it."

"I'll be right back!"

She got her brush from upstairs and a spray bottle from the kitchen, and directed Bill to sit on the floor so she could get on the couch behind him. After making such a fuss about brushing his hair, Bill was surprisingly well-behaved with somebody else brushing it for him. He didn't even complain when Mabel accidentally yanked on some nasty snarls a little harder than she meant to.

"I feel like a corpse getting prettied up for my funeral," Bill said. "Grooming each other is how humans bond, isn't it? This is one of your little social rituals? If all you wanted was to make sure we're still friends after you ditched me last night, you could have just asked."

Mabel shoved her foot between Bill's shoulder blades. Wise guy. She joked, "Yeah! We're bonding now! After this we're gonna paint each other's fingernails and talk about what kind of boys we like."

"I want rainbow spiral fingernails."

Mabel really should be used to this—but she still kept getting surprised that Bill was interested in the stuff she liked. And not even in a patronizing sure-I'll-play-along way. He'd turned to look at her. There was a gleam in his eyes. He really wanted rainbow spiral fingernails.

And now she wanted rainbow spiral fingernails, too. "Fine! But look forward until I finish your hair." One way or another, Mabel vowed, she would reform Bill into a proper good guy—even if she had to drag him there kicking and screaming. Fun dress-up partners were hard to find, and she couldn't afford to lose Bill.

####

Soos wandered to the living room to find somewhere to hang up his and Melody's "Best Couple Cosplay" award, but stopped in the doorway.

Bill, Mabel, and Waddles were sitting on the floor, watching some kind of cartoon psychedelic fairy princess lecture a spider on the importance of colors, with a bowl of popcorn between them. Bill and Mabel both had bright multicolor fingernails and were eating the popcorn with chopsticks to avoid touching their nails. There was more popcorn on the floor than in the bowl. Waddles had taken no such cares to avoid dragging his freshly painted hooves through the carpet.

"Truth or dare," Bill said.

"Dare!"

"Dare you to assassinate the..." Bill trailed off. "I can't have the mayor assassinated, he runs Rainbow Club. And the sheriff and deputy invited me... There aren't a lot of public officials in this dumb town, are there?"

"I'm not killing anybody, Bill. Truth."

"Fine, coward. What's your favorite toxic fume fragrance?"

"That's easy! Gasoline!"

"Hey, mine too! At least on this planet. It smells like—you know that smell that heralds the coming of rain? Gasoline is the smell that heralds a really fun time."

"Yeah! Like going on a road trip!"

Bill paused. "Right! I was... I was definitely thinking about road trips. That's exactly what I meant."

Mabel added, "And it looks so cool when there's a little bit spilled in a parking spot—"

"The rainbow puddles! Yes! Big fan of the rainbow puddles—"

"I love parking lot rainbow puddles! It's like surprise happiness in the most boring place on the planet!"

Soos mumbled, "Girl talk," decided to hang his award up later, and left.

####

Dipper heard the bedroom door open and Mabel call, "Hey Dipper!"

"Hey." He didn't look up from his journal, where he was documenting last night's zombie adventures. "Oh, hey, bad news—Wendy said she got a text from Robbie, it sounds like all the footage from the cemetery last night is ruined?"

"Aww! What? But we worked so hard to train those zombies!"

"Yeah, it's just static. But everything we shot outside the gates is fine. I wonder if it's something supernatural that interferes with electronics?"

"Something supernatural? In the cemetery? Full of zombies? What are the odds of that!" Mabel laughed. "But heyyy, I've got some good news!"

"What?"

Mabel stuck a hairbrush full of gold hair between Dipper's face and his journal. "I got a replacement for the Bill hair sample we gave Pacifica!" She grinned and whispered, "Wanna make a poppet?"

####

It would have been really cool if the first full moon of summer vacation had come on Summerween. But the calendar gods were unkind that year, and instead, it came the next day, on June 23.

Which worked out, in the end, since it meant they didn't have any scheduling conflicts on the one night they could make a poppet.

They had the ritual space set up in their bedroom—a chalk star drawn on the floor with a black candle at each point—and the doll representing Bill—which Mabel had upgraded with button eyes and a miniature version of his favorite knit hoodie. They collected all the shed blonde strands off Mabel's hairbrush, wrapped them around the doll's neck, and tied them on. They set the doll in the center of the star; Bartholomew talked them through the ritual; the flames on the candles leaped a foot in the air, turned a pale blue, and then went out; and the binding ritual was complete. The doll was now connected to Bill Cipher.

"Weird," Bartholomew said. "Usually the flames turn black. I've never seen them turn blue before."

Dipper said, "That's not a problem, is it?"

"No, no. I've just never used the binding ritual on an alien before! I guess it works a little different!"

Dipper picked up the doll and eyed it skeptically. "Mabel, I know we said we're saving this for emergencies only, but—maybe we should test it out just to make sure it actually works?"

"I guess we should," Mabel said, grimacing. "Just—don't do anything that'd hurt him. Okay?"

Yeah, Dipper should've expected that. Whether he liked it or not, Mabel didn't just see Bill as her weird experiment in criminal rehabilitation—she saw him as her friend. He sighed. "Okay. But is it fine if we do something that would embarrass him?"

Mabel shrugged. "I don't see why not!"

####

As they crept from their room, Mabel whispered, "What if we stick him in a box and shake it up? And then tell him there was an earthquake!"

"I thought you were the one who didn't want to hurt him."

"Oh right."

Bill wasn't on his cushions under the window, so they crept downstairs. Halfway down, Dipper stopped, putting a hand on Mabel's arm. Bill was sitting at the kitchen table, chin in his hand, staring out the window.

"This is perfect," he whispered. "He's completely vulnerable. He's got his back to us, he's looking at the moonlight—even if he turns around, he won't see us because his eyes will have to readjust to the dark."

"I don't know if his eyes need to adjust," Mabel said. "Have you ever noticed he never turns the lights on when he goes into a room?"

Dipper considered that. He hadn't noticed—but now that Mabel mentioned it, Bill did have a tendency to lurk in the dark. "Well—okay, but he's still not looking at us. Let's see how this works..." He studied the doll; then turned it around and gently brushed a finger through its yarn hair.

For a moment, nothing happened; and then Bill swatted at the back of his head and looked around, as if he was trying to find what had touched him.

"I think it's working," Dipper hissed.

"Are you sure? What if there's actually a fly in the kitchen?"

Could be. "Let me see if it can control him."

"Careful—"

Dipper grabbed one of the doll's arms and tentatively lifted it.

Bill's arm shot up. He stared at it in bafflement. "Wh...?"

Mabel bit her lip. Dipper waved the doll's arm.

Bill's arm waved. After a pause, he tentatively asked, "Hello?" As if he thought maybe his arm was waving at someone and he should play along with it.

Mabel and Dipper clapped their hands over their mouths, fighting to keep their giggles quiet. Mabel elbowed Dipper, "Hey Dipper Dipper Dipper, get him to stand up, let me control his legs, I have the best idea—"

Bill knocked over his chair and had to flail his arms for balance as he abruptly jerked to his feet. He looked around, eyes wide and wild, an edge of panic to his voice as he hollered, "WHAT'S GOING ON!"

Dipper held the doll out to Mabel. "Okay hurry!" Mabel took it by the legs—

—and Bill started doing the cancan. He shrieked. "WHAT?!"

Dipper shoved his shirt over his mouth to muffle his hysterics. Mabel was letting little wheezy squeaks out through her nose. Bill's voice was almost an octave higher as he screamed, "WHEN I FIND OUT WHO'S BEHIND THIS, I'M GONNA SHRED YOU—" and they both got so close to bursting laughing out loud that they had to pause to punch each other's shoulders for self control.

Still holding one of the doll's legs up, Mabel hissed, "Dipper do you remember the bottle dance. Where they crouch down with bottles on their heads. Can we—can we get a tiny bottle for the doll—"

Bill was failing both arms to avoid falling with one foot held in the air. He grabbed the counter for balance. And then, with a grunt of effort, he wrenched his foot down and stomped it to the ground.

The doll's leg yanked out of Mabel's hand.

Dipper and Mabel fell silent, staring at the doll. They looked at each other. Mabel whispered, "It shouldn't be able to do that, right?"

They looked at Bill.

Bill's face was burning red, and he was so far past fury that his expression was perfectly blank. His eyes were huge, and round, and pointed straight at them.

They bolted up the stairs.

Bill charged after them.

They screamed in terror. They weren't loud enough to drown out Bill: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU BRATS—"

Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm. "Dipper, do something!"

"Uhh—!" He tossed the doll in the air and caught it.

They heard an alarmed yelp as Bill was launched in the air and then a crash as he landed on the stairs again.

They scrambled into their room and slammed the door. "Safe!" Mabel said.

"Yeah," Dipper said, panting for breath. "Can't get us here."

The doll's head twisted 180 degrees to stare up at them.

They yelped. Dipper tossed the doll to Mabel. Mabel held it out at arm's length, threw it in her nightstand's drawer, and slammed it. It tried to open again and she leaned against it with her full body weight. "Dipper, the duct tape! In my craft supplies!"

"Which craft supplies?!"

The tiny knocking inside the drawer was echoed by the pounding at the door, accompanied by a string of creative death threats: "—and when I'm finished the coroner won't know which corpse was which! I'll make a belt out of your spinal columns—!"

"We didn't do anything," Mabel shouted, "it wasn't our fault!" She took the duct tape from Dipper and frantically wrapped it around the night stand. Dipper added, "It was someone else! And we'll never do it again—"

Sleepy and muffled, Soos's voice drifted through the door, "Dudes? What's all the hubbub?"

Dipper and Mabel gasped, "Soos!" "Save us!"

His voice the perfect tone of righteous indignation, Bill declared, "I'm being assaulted, that's what!"

Stan's voice joined in from downstairs: "BILL! If you don't leave those kids alone I'll cave your nose in!"

"THEY'RE THE AGGRESSORS," Bill screamed, half hysterical. "They are! I'm the victim here! I'm being victimized!"

Stan shouted, "Kids, good work! Bill, you can go to—" He grumbled as he self-censored, "—sleep! Shut up and go to sleep!"

"You can go jump in the bottomless pit, Stanley Pines! I'll tear you all apart with my teeth if I have to! NOBODY in this stupid junk heap of a shack is getting any sleep until I get my—"

From just outside the attic door, Stan roared, "BILL!"

There was a dull thud as Bill leaned against their door; a lot less shouty, he quickly said, "I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed."

"That's what I thought," Stan snapped. The kids heard his footsteps retreating downstairs. Soos said, "Um... night," and his door shut. After a moment, there was the creak of footsteps retreating from the attic door.

Dipper and Mabel slowly, softly snuck across the room to the door, and pressed their ears to the crack. No sound.

They stayed there for several minutes, barely breathing, listening to the silence.

Finally, Mabel pulled away and looked at Dipper. They both nodded, and Dipper opened the door a crack to check if the coast was clear.

Bill's eye stared in. "Hey, kids!"

They yelled. Dipper tried to slam the door; but Bill had already shoved his hand through. Fingernails painted with neon colors and black spirals clawed at the doorframe. He shouldered through the gap in the door, and then he was in the room, smiling much too wide and eyes fixed on them like helicopter spotlights on two wanted criminals. There was blood on his teeth. "Wow! Playing with poppets?"

Dipper upturned his suitcase and held it up like a shield. Mabel pointed a can of spray paint at Bill's face. Bill took a step closer and they took a step back.

"Pretty advanced trick for a couple of children your age," Bill said conversationally. "Not bad, not bad at all. Heck, I'm impressed you pulled it off! Although you didn't make a very smart choice of test subject." He stomped a foot twice.

Something in the nightstand thudded twice. The twins jumped. Bill laughed at them.

Mentally cursing himself for having flinched, Dipper straightened his back and glared at Bill. "You're just mad you got jerked around like a puppet! What's the matter, Bill—you can dish it but you can't take it?" Mabel looked at Dipper like he was crazy.

Bill's indulgent smile cracked, dropping into a snarl of rage. He shifted his weight toward them. Mabel dropped into a judo stance and Dipper sucked in a breath to shout for Stan.

Before anyone could launch a full attack, Mabel took a shaky breath in, forced a nervous smile, and said, "Bill, hey..." (His eyes snapped to her face like a predator that just heard a twig snap.) "This was—just a funny prank, and we're all cool? Right?"

"Mabel," Dipper muttered. "Shhh!"

But Mabel kept looking at Bill. "Right? Buddies?" She held up her arm, showing Bill her friendship bracelet.

Bill stopped and rocked back on his heels. He gave Mabel a long, hard look—like he was seriously considering whether to accept the reality she was inventing. "Yeah. Real funny." Smiling through grit teeth, he said, "You know—it's been a while since I've had my energy strung between two vessels. I didn't even know what that experience felt like for a human! Very interesting. Educational. And it was nice to feel weightless again for a second. Even if the landing was a little rough." He licked the blood off his teeth. One of the teeth shifted. "So—thanks so much for spicing up a boring night. It's been a real blast. Hasn't it." He stared at them like he expected an answer—and possibly like he planned to strangle whoever answered first.

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. Dipper shook his head slightly. Mabel looked Bill in the eyes again. "Yeah! Big blast. So, you're not... mad. Right? Nobody's mad!"

Bill stared her down for a moment longer; and then said, "Sure, kid! It's all fun and games!" He forced a laugh—and then another, longer one, hahhh, like he was exhaling all his rage. And just like that, he was back to normal. "I'll admit it—for a second there, you almost got me good! Not bad at all." He held out his hand insistently. "And now the game's over, so you're gonna give me that toy so I can neutralize it. Aren't you?"

Dipper bit his lip, looking past Bill toward the stairs. He could yell for Stan; there was no way Bill could kill them before reinforcements got here—

Mabel elbowed Dipper's side and whispered, "We can't keep it."

And she was right. Now that Bill knew about the doll, he'd be spending all his time plotting how to get past them to take it, and they wouldn't have a second's peace. Either he got it now, or he got it later. Bill wouldn't rest until the doll was out of their hands.

Because he was terrified of it. Why wouldn't he be?

"Yeah," Dipper sighed. "Game over."

"I'll get it." Mabel peeled just enough duct tape off the night stand to wiggle it open a crack and try to squeeze her fingers in. Bill stretched his hand toward Mabel, and the doll stretched an arm out of the drawer. Mabel flinched in surprise, but grabbed the arm and yanked the doll free.

"Ow." Bill grabbed his shoulder and rolled it gingerly. "Careful, kid, are you trying to dislocate my arm? I don't mind popping it back in, but eventually that socket's gonna wear out."

"Sorry! It was a tight squeeze." She held the doll over Dipper's suitcase shield. "Here."

Bill snatched it from her hand. "Thanks a million, star girl." He favored them both with his most nearly-charming, far-too-wide smile. "Good night, kiddos. Have sweet dreams."

"You too," Mabel said weakly.

Bill left. Dipper shut the door. He and Mabel both heaved a sigh of relief.

From the loft over the attic, Bartholomew called, "Is he gone?"

"What are you doing up there?" Mabel asked. "Barty-mew-mew the scaredy-cat."

"I'm not fighting that guy, I'm porcelain and he's crazy."

Dipper flopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "Welp. I'm gonna have nightmares about Bill chasing me up the stairs."

Mabel sat on her own bed. "He just wanted to terrify us. And to keep us from seeing we'd terrified him." She fingered the star beads on her friendship bracelet. "He wouldn't have hurt us, I'm sure of it."

"Wh—seriously? You don't think Bill—"

"I know! But he's changed a tiny bit! He'd hurt anyone else, but he won't hurt us," Mabel said. "Or—well, me, at least. But I think he'll leave you alone too if I'm with you!"

Dipper pushed himself up on his elbows to look at her. "If he'd caught us on the stairs, do you really think he wouldn't have tried to tear us apart?"

Mabel considered that; and then reluctantly admitted, "He wouldn't hurt me as long as he remembers he doesn't want to hurt me."

"Yeah, well. I wouldn't count on him remembering when he's mad." Dipper slid under his covers and rolled over. "Barty, can you get the lights?"

"Sure, one second." All the lights and lamps in the room flickered ominously; and then, with a sinister pop, snapped off without being touched.

"Thanks, man."

Mabel didn't climb into bed. She was staring at her fingernails. She'd painted them the same colors as Bill's; but she'd used a black marker to draw spirals on his, and he'd drawn stars and sloppy tiger stripes on hers. In the dark, the colors were all faded.

This time, just once, maybe she and Dipper were the bad guys. He might disagree—he'd actually been puppeted, maybe he saw this differently from Mabel—but that probably didn't make it okay to do it back to Bill just for fun. They should've saved the poppet for an emergency. And the cancan, she decided, was definitely too much.

She smoothed out her covers; then she pulled up her knees to her chest, hugged them, and stared thoughtfully down at Bill's face in the middle of her zodiac blanket.

####

In the dark and quiet of the downstairs bathroom, Bill sat cross-legged on the toilet lid. He held the doll in his cupped hands. Soon, he'd disassemble it—but not yet. Tonight, it was his tool. He shut his eyes and focused on it.

There was the thinnest thread of energy, channeled through his shed hair, connecting this doll to him. He studied the thread, feeling it in his mind, exploring it, strengthening it—until he could almost feel it tugging on him.

And then he started psychically groping for similar connections.

He set the doll on the floor, on top of the drawing Mabel had given him.

His other eyes—the billions of depictions of his face scattered across this planet—weren't meant to be used in this dimension. They were designed like windows he could peer through from the Nightmare Realm; here on Earth, he was on the wrong side of the windows to see through them. And he wouldn't be surprised if the Axolotl had somehow found a way to blindfold them on top of that—after all, he seemed to have done the same to most of Bill's other abilities.

But Bill was resourceful, he was stubborn, and he didn't have anything better to do.

He focused all his energy on trying to feel the drawing the same way he felt the doll, searching for a connection between this body and that face—and he searched, and searched, and searched.

He wasn't sure how long he tried. At least a couple of hours. Straining, straining—for nothing. His head hurt.

What was the difference? The doll was shaped like him, the drawing was shaped like him. What did the doll have that the drawing didn't?

The hair. A bit of his flesh.

Bill knelt over the picture, studying it in the dark. He opened an eye wide, wiped a fingertip across the surface of his eyeball to collect his tears, and pressed it to the drawing's eye.

He could feel a thread of energy stringing from his eye to the paper.

He climbed back on the toilet lid, shut his eyes, and focused on that thread. With an effort that threatened to split his head in two, he pried open his inner eye. And then he was staring up at his own human form from the drawing on the floor.

His body was shaking. His head was throbbing. He wobbled dizzily on the toilet; and as he saw himself topple off, his trance broke, the vision disappeared, and he blacked out. White spots burst behind his eyes.

When he next opened an eye, the room was spinning. He shut his eye. It was several minutes before he could sit up without being sick. He leaned against the wall and let the sweat on his forehead and cheek soak the old wallpaper.

The white spots he'd seen as he passed out were his distant all-seeing eyes.

He'd done something tonight. That was good. But there was no way he was seeing through any other pictures like that. He needed something he could focus his power through, like an antenna.

He needed gold.

####

(Last chapter of the year!! If you enjoyed, I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts & comments! Thanks!)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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iinsertblognamee · 1 year ago

Text

social media au

y/n face claim; gracie abrams

liked by taylorswift, samanthakerr20 and 214,984 others yn cheeky 🍒's

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ynlover hottie

iloveyn when are you releasing new music??

ynfan3 you're so gorgeous!

billieeilish 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

ynfan8 ^ why is that us ??

ynfan12 drooling

mackenziearnold 👀 samanthakerr20 ⤷ samanthakerr20 shutup ⤷ yn hello ladies 👋👋

ynbiggestfan wot is this ^??

vanityfair

liked by yn, samanthakerr20 and 52,095 others vanityfair check out our new video featuring our favourite aussie y/n as she talks music, relationships and gives us an insight into what it was like growing up down under.

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ynlover why is she so cute??!

user14 no, but like i knew she was australian but that accent threw me off a little not gonna lie.

yn thank you so much for having me !!

user27 been a fan since her first single. so happy that she's finally getting the recognition she deserves

iloveyn okay but the sly smile she gave as they asked if she had any sort of romance going on. i think our girl isn't as single as she claims to be

samanthakerr20 😨 i think i found my missing medal ⤷ yn you gave it to me you ass

user31 i love how as a kid she wanted to be a famous soccer player, girl really switched teams on that one.

ynlover

liked by 1,812 ynlover anyone know what this is about? and why have i been stalking samanthakerr20 for the past two hours since seeing these comments.

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user12 why is it kinda cute?

ynfan13 they grew up together!! i think she mentioned it in one of her early interviews years back.

samkerr20fan they're friends. She's been at a couple of Sam's games over the years.

user82 they're both single 👀👀

user61 yn is 💅 ?? since when

samfan72 i swear sam was in a relationship a few months back??

ynfan57 i've been investigating both their pages and they've been pretty vocal on both sides - except for a period in 2020 where neither of them commented or liked anything of the other.

ynlover i feel like we need weekly catch-ups to discuss everything everyone has found in this new predicament.

liked by samanthakerr20, calumhood and 310,287 others yn recording album number 3, keen as a bean 🫛

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yn poll; should we name the album cool beans?

ynfan12 holy hell!!! cannot wait

5sos 👀

user28 what is 5sos doing here??

iloveyn i love you

user98 ohmygosh yes yes yes

samanthakerr20 did you write any songs about me? ⤷ yn no xoxo

user11 ✍️ someone put this in the receipts ^

calumhood vote yes for cool beans

samkerrfanupdates

liked by 2,082 others samkerrfanupdates sam with fans at last night's game.

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samfan28 so jealous!!

user73 great game last night girls! can't wait for many more to come.

user25 that's me and my sister in that photo!! we asked her what he favourite album was right now and she said cool beans ?? we tried searching it up but i low key think she made it up. she was really nice tho!

samkerr20fan um... ynlover you're seeing what i'm seeing right? ⤷ ynlover 😨😨😨 why are they such girlfriends.

(can't do better by kim petras)

samanthakerr20

liked by yn, matildas and 401,286 others samanthakerr20 i wonder how many songs this face has inspired?

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user23 so cheeky!

user80 hi sam!!

yn ohmy.

samfan39 im coming to your next game! can't wait to see you.

samkerr20fan so she's just not even denying it anymore?

user15 y'all really gonna forget that fans saw yn and samanthakerr20 kissing when chelsea won the FA women's cup a few months back against man city?? samkerr20fan im sorry??? wot ⤷ user15 yeah, they seemed cosy enough. yn was sitting with the partners of the other Chelsea teammates during the game so...

ynlover i've been summoned

liked by samanthakerr20, matildas and 519,028 others yn last night

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user91 hiiiii

ynfan18 i was there last night you were amazing !!!!

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iloveyn why is the matildas here ?? 🤨🤨

samanthakerr20 so proud of you! ⤷ yn mwahhh 😚

user8 i love you so much yn

liked by samanthakerr20, matildas and 610,384 others yn and to think I've been writing songs about you for years. happy two year anniversary my love 💗

comments are limited

samanthakerr20 i love you

matildas our favourite love story

mackenziearnold 👏👏 for putting up for her for years ⤷ samanthakerr20 excuse you ⤷ yn thank you

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samanthakerr20

liked by yn, matildas and 510,428 others samanthakerr20 she wrote many songs about me 💗

comments are limited

yn baby, i wrote every album for you

#sam kerr x reader #sam kerr imagines #sam kerr imagine #woso imagine #woso imagines #woso x reader

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 11 months ago

Text

Being Team Japan’s Manager:

Miss Manager is Great with Kids

Team Japan x Female Manager (she/her)

Warnings: swearing, obviously kids (sometimes they are scary 🫣)

Request here

AN: I apologize if this isn’t the best 😅

You know what’s really funny YN?

The similarities between being Team Japan’s manager and working in a preschool

Honestly it’s pretty much the same thing

Iwa drops the kids off for their morning practice

Yaku yells at them, scolding them for not playing nicely with the other team members

You have to remind them to eat and take bathroom breaks

Essentially, the same 💅

Which is why your transition from teaching to being team Japan’s manager was so easy

The guys 👉🏻 instantly love you

Was there really any doubt?

Of course, some of them *cough* ATSUMU *cough* HOSHIUMI *cough* make it their life goals to be hard on you

You can’t tell me they aren’t annoying and finicky about literally everything 🙄

But once again, it’s fine because you’ve dealt with snotty, marker covered kids pretty much your entire life

Literally these guys have nothing on a group of 3 year olds

The guys never really asked much about your previous job, not really caring much about where you came from before you started with them

Aran would occasionally bring up the subject but you’d just shrug, answering, “a little of this, a little of that.”

Let’s be honest, there’s no conversation that doesn’t involve volleyball lasting for more than 5 seconds in the Gym

Especially with Atsumu, Kageyama, Hinata and Bokuto

Guys really think that other occupations don’t even compare to Volleyball so why waste the time talking about it

However 👀 the boys would soon find out just how much they should have asked about your prior employment

Because you see, Kuroo had a little something up his sleeve to help promote Team Japan

“Come again?” Asked Gao

“A kids camp! Ages 4 to 9!” Kuroo excitedly explained

“Count me out,” Sakusa groaned

“You really think it’s a good idea for little kids to be running around while we practice?” Kageyama questioned

“Well you would t be practicing, it would strictly be for the kids,” Kuroo responded

“NO PRACTICE!” Screamed Atsumu, Kageyama, Hinata and Bokuto in unison

Iwa narrowed his eyes as you tried to keep a straight face, “listen here, if you don’t participate, I’ll have coach bench you and give your number up!”

The group immediately straightened up as Kuroo smirked

“Maybe it won’t be so bad? I mean it’s only for a couple hours right?” Komori responded

The guys all nodded as you tried your best to keep your composure

A week later, the camp was underway and let’s just say, it was going about as well as Seijoh’s chances of going to nationals 🫠

“Oh my go- gosh!” Atsumu shouted, stopping himself again from nearly letting out a bad word in front of the children

“These kids are actually feral!” Hoshiumi screamed, trying to wrangle two kids who were throwing volleyballs up into the bleachers

“I thought these kids were suppose to like volleyball!?!” Aran asked

“I never said that,” Kuroo chimed in, as he and Akaashi watched form the sidelines

Akaashi was there to do a special report on the teams event as well as take in the free entertainment

Bokuto and Hinata were rolling around on the floor, attempting (huge emphasis on ATTEMPT) to show the kids receiving

Sakusa was sitting with a group of kids who were “too cool” for this

Ushiwaka had already made 3 kids cry just by walking up to them

Iwa had left to cool down because he was at his breaking point

And you, well you had seen enough

Suddenly, Kuroo watched as you grab the microphone and headed to the middle of the gym

“Hey kids, who wants to see a professional athlete serve?” You shouted as all the kids (yes I’m including the athletes) looked over at you

Suddenly, screams and shouts filled the air as all the kids flocked towards you

The guys, Kuroo and Akaashi, included all watched in wonder

“Ok we all need to sit in the chairs because this guys serves can be either really good or really bad. Atsumu, show them!”

Atsumu rn 👉🏻👁️👄👁️ HEY MY SERVES ARENT BAD!

“I’d say it’s 50/50,” Sakusa chimed in as Atsumu growled

“Hey how come I don’t get to show them my serves Yn?” Kageyama grumbles

“Tobio you’ll get a chance just calm down and wait your turn ok?”

After the show of serves, you again grabbed the kids attention

“Ok so who wants to try spiking??” You ask as a million tiny hands shoot up

“Ok everyone get in line, littlest to oldest, and we will all get a chance to practice!”

You made your way to the nets, team and children following you like little ducks as you began to coordinate

Iwa watched in awe as your skills, impressed at your ability to manage such a wide age range

I mean 💅 this is Yn Iwa, what did you expect?

After the event, the kids all came up to you after getting their autographs and gave you a big hug

“Thanks so much Miss Yn!” They all smiled as they ran to their parents

“YN why didn’t you tell us you were good with kids?” Yaku asked

You just shrugged, “it never came up.”

“I mean it makes sense, look how good she is with the other idiots,” Iwa said, nodding over to the feral group

“OMG YN THAT WAS SO FUN! Can we do that again??” Bokuto screamed, jumping up and down

“We deal with enough children daily so no,” Sakusa said, turning to leave going to the locker room

“What kids- HEY WHAT THE HELL OMI??” Atsumu yelled

You just smiled, knowing your boys were the best kids around 😌

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 8 months ago

Note

hi! could you write the bachelor/ettes with a m!farmer that dresses very fem? like— with all the stuff that's stereotypically related to girls?

Heya 👋 Sure, why not.

I honestly didn't know what format to choose. At first it was going to be big stories, but I thought it would be too long to read lol. Thanks for the ask btw! 💕

SDV bachelors/ettes with male!Farmer that dresses very fem:

**********************************************

Abigail was filled with envy because Farmer is a man who could wear whatever he wanted and not be told by his parents that he "had to dress properly". Amethyst lover still has to listen from mom that "a lady should wear a skirt" or from dad "a lady should this and that". Ugh... Oh, and Farmer looks gorgeous! Damn, Abby's jealous >:/

"You're such a weirdo, what's with the girly clothes?" Alex should have learnt not to say the first thing that comes to mind out loud, but we all have our flaws. Athlete has nothing bad to say towards the Farmer himself, but clearly doesn't understand his taste in clothing. Neither does he understand why Sebastian is always walking around in black clothes. Farmer looks... alright, Alex think. But he just doesn't get it.

Oh, how happy Emily is to have another person in town who loves to express himself through clothes! Everything is harmoniously matched, the fabric is of the best quality.... And most importantly, the Farmer feels comfortable! The blue-haired girl doesn't care that it's "not for a man". Emily can make clothes for Farmer according to his style, if he doesn't mind of course!

In the past, Abby had been teased for dressing like a boy, and Sebby had been insulted for having long, "girlish" fringes.... More than once Sam has threatened to hit the offenders with his guitar if they keep it up. So if Farmer gets harassed too, he shouldn't hesitate to ask Sam for help. Farmer looks cool, by the way!

To be honest, Farmer's fem style of dressing for Penny is rather extravagant. The young teacher is modest by nature and with old-fashioned ideas about how men and women should dress. On the other hand, she admires Farmer's courage to express himself and not afraid to be judged.

There were at least three times in Sebastian's life when some tourists picked on his "fem look", namely his tight jeans and black-painted nails. The local emo even then knew that judging people by their appearance is a complete nonsense, so he would not react to Farmer's atypical clothes in the bad way. And Farmer look cool, though Sebby is not a fan of his style, preferring everything black.

Yoba, is this the latest collection from the same famous designer that Haley always orders clothes from?! She recognises these clothes anywhere. Haley thought the new farmer always wore dirty overalls. And these clothes look so stylish on him! What? Who frickin cares if the clothes are feminine, the Farmer looks great! Slay! 💅

Shane was about to open his mouth and comment on Farmer's, as he think, ridiculous outfit. But then he remembered that it wasn't his place to judge people by their clothes, considering that his everyday clothes were a torn blue jumper with Joja's logo on it, pizza-stained shorts, and ragged crocs. After Emily's clothing therapy, Shane will have a little change of heart. But in general, he doesn't give a shit what Farmer wears, even if it's a trash bag.

"Hey, you look great." Believe me, Farmer, Leah's words are genuine. This woman is always used to being honest with people, and she will honestly praise her friend's appearance. Because a lot of people express themselves in different ways. Leah chose to express herself through creativity, while Farmer chose to express himself through clothes, and that's totally cool.

Harvey marvelled at the fact that Farmer walks around in these clothes and is completely unafraid of criticism..... No, no, don't get him wrong, Farmer looks good! It's just... In a way, Harvey is jealous, because he has to sneak around to aerobics in fear that some of the other bachelors will see him and make fun of him. But you know, just seeing Farmer has inspired the doctor to be braver.

Although in Maru's situation it was not about clothes, she too had to deal with this type of conflicts. Her grandparents told her mom, Robin, that her job as a carpenter was "not for women", while her father's relatives condemned Maru's passion for inventions as "not for young lady". How nice that Maru's parents were supportive and that Farmer has also defied criticism and is doing what makes him happy. Don't listen to anyone and do what your heart desire!

Quite extravagant, but Elliott even likes his style. Farmer definitely has the taste to pick colours and accessories harmoniously. What? Judging? Pfft! Dear friend, when Elliott lived in town before moving to Stardew Valley, the people there also tried to ridicule his clothing choices, calling him a dandy and, pardon his language, a "pompous peacock." Ugh, some people just have no taste! But at least Elliott has excellent clothing taste. And Farmer has it as well!

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv headcanons #sdv abigail #sdv penny #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv leah #sdv maru #sdv shane #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #thanks for the ask!

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validfemale · 3 days ago

Note

hey pretty! i hope this finds you well :)

i’m manifesting my ex back and so far it’s going great! signs are already coming in and it’s only been a few hours! (a twitter astrology bot tweeted out drink more water, sagittarius. which is something he always used to say!!) i already know the law and have manifested things in the past (a trip to the uk!) my only problem i would say is that i feel as if i’m crazy and being “delusional” when i affirm, do methods, or even mention anything to my friends! it totally brings my energy down. just wondering if you have any tips on how to deal with this. have a wonderful day/night 💗

hey gorgeous! 💖 first off, you're totally not crazy or delusional for affirming and manifesting! anyone who really gets the law knows that what you're doing is powerful and valid. ✨ honestly, signs showing up already? that's just proof the universe (or, more accurately, your subconscious) is aligning everything in your favor.

i get it though—sharing with friends can sometimes bring in those doubts, especially if they don't vibe with manifestation. but remember, this is YOUR reality. you’re rewriting your story, and it doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you. whenever those feelings pop up,

remind yourself:

i am the operant power. reality is just following my lead, no explanations needed. 🐩

try keeping it a little private, like your own magical secret. this way, you're holding onto all that energy and focus for yourself. whenever you feel that self-doubt creeping in, just breathe and say, "everything is unfolding exactly as it should. i am powerful, and my desires are inevitable." you’ve got this, babe. 💅🌸

manifest away and keep me updated on your journey! you’re already doing amazing.

#validfemale❤︎ ྀི #madianswers𝜗𝜚 #self concept #law of assumption #loassumption #loa advice #loa #advice #becoming that girl #it girl #that girl #divine feminine #girly #girlblog #hyperfemininity #self love

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pola-rola · 4 months ago

Text

I'm really bored, so there's a little Yuu-sona or something like that. I don’t like to write on the pictures themselves (yeeah, sure), soooo...

A little backstory: like yuu-sona, I would also like to be based on some Disney character, and one day I was just looking around and was like, “hmm, I braid my hair with a polka dot scrunchie, I have black hair…. yeah, definitely Minnie." Yep, that's how it was. Well, besides, it seems to me that the design of the ghost camera fits, and of course friendship with Mickey, he didn’t mention her when he talked about friends, right?)) Besides, Minnie doesn’t belong to any specific cartoon, but this means she can play the role of both a hero and a villain, so getting into the NRC may well be justified, smart;)

So, now just a little randomness about this gal, and, accordingly, me:

• ISFJ (I don’t know what for, but just if you’re interested)

• at first she thought about hiding her real gender, making up something, playing dress-up to become look like a boy. But on the very first day of school, she realized that it's unnecessary, if they didn’t like something, it's their problem

• Purchased the uniform from Sam, because seriously, where else can you find a uniform that is the perfect size? She had to beg for money from the headmage; you want the students to look diligent, so you pay.

•"So, where is my computer? Where is my tablet? Where is my pen? How can I survive without this mmm???)))"

• The first time she was in Twisted Wonderland she constantly had a headache, because in her world she was not used to being in the fresh air so often and moving so often.

• It's raining men!

• "How can boys be so tall at such a young age?! It's crazy!"

• Sometimes throws in phrases and references in her native language, just because she can.

• In fact, she was really surprised that practically (for the most part) no one bullies her for her lack of magic. Like, "if this was my world, I'd be an outcast by now, seriously, guys, aren't you going to make fun of me or what?!"

• Sometimes falls into philosophical thoughts, like “Why is someone constantly trying to prove their strength here… why doesn’t anyone understand that we are all students, which means we are all equal? Especially these idiots from Savanaclaw-” (yup, I really hate these npc guys)

• "Soooo… I found myself in another world, where ghosts, fairies, magic are all real, before that I was riding in a black carriage and woke up in a coffin in a black robe… The mirror said that my soul does not belong anywhere and its there’s nowhere to return…Hmm.. Hmmmm..! Does this mean that in my world I’m already dea- Oh, look, pies are on sale!”

• "Should I start charging money to solve your problems?"

• "Why is it always something? Like it's literally always freaking something........"

• Had to learn to cook to survive. Well, mostly because Grim whines that he can’t live on just scrambled eggs and burnt fried potatoes lol.

• Would like to join the Mountain Lovers' Club, but remembered how in her world she constantly excused herself from trips to the mountains or family overnight stays in tents by the lake. Nah..

• She likes this interesting world, but still at night she cries into her pillow because she misses his mom so much :(

• “Actually, in my world, I had already graduated from college, received a diploma and was just looking for a job. And you say that I need to start studying again from the first year?!”

• haha silly mirror, a test on the internet told me that I should go to Scarabia 💅

• REALLY wants to know what's going on in her world while she's here. Literally thinks about this almost every day

• "Lol guys, did you know that your Great Seven are actually bad guys? No, no, nothing, just breaking the fourth wall"

If it weren't for Grim, she probably would have remained a janitor forever. Like, seriously, have you seen how often mc speaks compared to other students? Totally matches my social awkwardness.

•Really very interested in this world, its history and especially other schools. Like, really, if all this turns out to be a dream and she'll return to her gray world of high-rise buildings, then at least she'll have something to remember.

• "They call me just "Pola" for a reason. And the reason is... Says her full name, which to a non-native speaker sounds like a spell to summon a demon.

•"Hey guys, look what I found. A bowling ball." This is Chenya's head.

•"Deuce is asking for my opinion and does not forget about my presence and is happy when I cheer for him #BFF🥺" (we have the same birthday by the way)

•"Ehehee Pola Trappola ehuehe.......… Just kidding, jeez!"

Phew, that was silly, but I hope you found it interesting haha

#artwork #art #digital art #game fanart #fanart #oc #original character #character design #self sona #sona art #twst wonderland #twst oc #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst yuusona #yuusona

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comically-callous · 10 months ago

Note

PART 2 FOR THE MILES N READER SLEEPING IN THR SAME BED ITS SO CUTE I NEED😢

Y'all ask, I serve 💅

Miles Morales x Fem!Reader

You can read part one of the fic here!

A/n: First time doing a sequel fic 😈 My requests are open, as always. Sorry if I'm taking a while to get to them. My winter break recently ended, and I've got finals coming up, so-

Warnings: None, methinks.

The morning sunlight streamed in through Y/n's bedroom window. She slowly opened her eyes and was met with the sleeping face of Miles.

Their faces were mere inches apart, and his arms were wrapped around her, holding her close.

She felt her face heat up as her heart began to race.

There's no way this is actually happening.

This was both a dream come true and an absolute nightmare.

Did she like Miles? Yes. But, he was supposed to be her best friend! This wasn't supposed to be happening!

She had to do something. She had to slip out of his arms.

She slowly began to move her body away from his. For a second she thought it was working and then Miles pulled her back in, stirring in his sleep.

Please, don't wake up. Please, don't wake up. Please, don't wake up.

His eyes cracked open.

NO!

His eyes widened when he realized he was holding her to his chest.

For a moment they both just stared at each other, faces hot, eyes wide, in uncomfortable silence.

Suddenly they were both spouting out rushed apologies at each other as Y/n practically threw herself off of the bed and Miles sat up straight.

Once they both stopped frantically apologizing, Y/n sighed. "I'm sorry, I..."

"It's alright. I mean, it's not your fault."

"I know it's not... That sort of made it sound like I'm saying it's your fault. It's not your fault."

"Yeah, I know. I don't think it's my fault. It's no one's fault, we were both asleep, so-"

Y/n sighed. "This is weird..."

"It's not! Well, I guess we both kinda made it weird."

"Yeah... Sorry for freaking you out."

"You don't need to apologize! I mean, I'm only freaking out this much because I like you."

...

"What?" She didn't hear that right. He didn't just say that.

Miles seemed to not realize what he'd just said.

"You like me?" She asked.

Miles' eyes widened and he was even more flustered than he'd been when waking up next to you. "Uh..." God, he really wanted to go invisible and swing away right now. "Yeah... I guess I do." He hesitantly looked up from the ground, scared to see her reaction.

Y/n looked just as flustered as him. "That's-"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, and I totally get it if you don't want me to come over ever again and if you don't wanna be friends with me anymore. You know what? I should probably just leave. I'm gonna leave." Miles rambled and he began to stumble toward her bedroom window to leave, but he was stopped by her grabbing his shoulders and making him face her.

"Miles, dude." She smiled at him, her face still hot. "I like you too."

He felt like he was frozen in place at that confession. "Really?"

"I thought it was obvious." She shrugged.

"I... Don't think it was?" Miles wasn't sure. Maybe it was obvious and he was just bad at reading signals.

"So..." She looked at him expectantly. Miles blinked, unsure what she wanted from him. "This is the part where you ask me out on a date."

"Oh. Oh! Yeah! Uh... Do you wanna, like... Go to the park or something? We could get lunch there?"

Y/n leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "The park sounds great."

Miles was frozen in place again, smiling like an idiot after the small peck on his cheek.

...

"This is the part where you go home to get ready."

"Right! Yeah.. I'll go. See you later."

#x reader #fanfiction #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman into the spiderverse x reader #miles morales x reader #spiderman x reader

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catindabag · 11 months ago

Text

TBOSAS on Crack short take (57)

Hilarius: Hey, guys, let’s play the “ask me a weird question” game.😀

Juno: Why the heck would we want to play that game with you, Hilari?

Io: No offense, Heavensbee, but your weird questions might just start a different kind of rebellion.

Hilarius: But I’m bored and our new assignment-

Coryo: Punishment.

Hilarius: Our new punishment from Dr. Gaul is making my head hurt!😫

Festus: Same. I don’t even know how to answer half of these questions.

Dennis: That’s so sad. She even gave us a lot of hints.

Pup: Maybe they’re right. Maybe we’re just that stupid.😔

Clemensia: You’re wrong, Pup. Most of you may be a little dumb like Festus, but not “that” dumb.

Festus: Clemmie, I’m doing my best too!😭

Clemensia: Then cry harder, Creed!

Festus: Clemmie, I’m already

crying!😭

Coryo: Festus, don’t be too sad. Besides, Dr. Gaul’s questions are just outright nonsense.

Festus: Thanks for the comfort, Coryo, but could you tell me the answer to question 1?

Coryo: You’re still stuck on question 1?!

Festus: Yeah.😞

Felix: Read question 1 again, Creed.

Festus: Um- What is the full name of Panem’s current President?

Felix: President Ravinstill.

Gaius: Hold up! Wait a minute, Class Pres!

Felix: What?

Gaius: So you’re just telling us now that your granduncle’s full name is actually President Ravinstill?!

Felix: Yup.

Gaius: So that makes him President President Ravinstill?!

Felix: Correct.

Androcles: Yo, who even names their child President?

Felix: Blame my crazy great grandfather. He was a self-proclaimed “flower child” of his time.😔

Clemensia: Does the “crazy” run in your family, Class Pres?

Felix: Yeah. But sometimes it skips a generation or two.

Domitia: But aren’t we all related to one another?

Juno: We’re all Capitol Nobles, Tia. Of course we’re related.

Felix: Well, minus Sejanus Plinth, we are.

Vipsania: By whose bloodline?

Felix: My family’s.😞

Coryo: True. My great great grandfather was a Ravinstill.

Festus: Mine too!

Hilarius: Mine as well.

Palmyra: What a coincidence! We’re all cousins!😀

Clemensia: That’s so weird. Mine was also a Ravinstill.

Lysistrata: Why do I have an inkling feeling that we all have the same great great grandfather?

Coryo: Maybe we do, Lizzie. Maybe we do.

Lysistrata: Guys, just to be sure, we should all just say our great great grandfather’s name at the same time.

Felix: Ok. That’s fine with me.

Lysistrata: On 3. 1, 2, 3!

Everyone: *except for Sejanus* Augustus Tiberius Vipsanius Cornelius Antonius Felix Ravinstill!

Vipsania: Oh, so that’s where my first name came from.

Coryo: Mine too.

Hilarius: We really are related!

Festus: You hear that, Lizzie?! We’re related!🥳

Lysistrata: *sighs* I knew it.

Gaius: Yo, guys, does that mean that we’re all invited to the next ✨Ravinstill Reunion✨?😀

Felix: Minus Sejanus, pretty much.

Gaius: Nice!

Coryo: Class Pres, can I take Sejanus as my plus one to your family’s party? I don’t want to leave him behind. He might cry.

Sejanus: I will cry.

Felix: Well, Coryo, my bro, you are his official fiancé, right?

Coryo: Yeah. Everybody knows that.

Sejanus: I know that.

Felix: And you’ll have lots of gorgeous children with your Seji Pie, right?

Coryo: 24 and more, Class Pres. 24 and more.

Sejanus: Let’s make a hundred, my love!😍

Felix: Then that answers your own question, my dearest Snow bro.

Coryo: Thanks.😑

Felix: But please don’t let Sejanus talk to my crazy relatives. They’re shady and unpredictable. He might even strangle them.😞

Coryo: No promises.

Sejanus: I’ll strangle them for you, my love~.🥰

Coryo: Whatever you say, Babe.

Livia: Well, that explains the “crazy” in all of you-

Juno: Liv, half of your ancestors were also Ravinstill.

Livia: Yours too, Juno~.🙄💅

Apollo: But seriously, does anyone know the answer to question 3?

Diana: Bro, you’re already in question 3?!

Apollo: Yeah. But to be fair, I just skipped questions 1 and 2.

Felix: Read it for us, Ring.

Apollo: Okay! What should you do if you’re stuck in District 4 without any help?

Coryo: Apollo, that’s so easy. You first cry and then swim for your life.

Apollo: But what if I don’t know how to swim?

Livia: Then you cry and die.🙄

Arachne: Lol. She ain’t wrong.

Coryo: Babe, do you know the answer to question 5?

Sejanus: What does it say, my love?

Coryo: What is District 2 known for?

Sejanus: Babe, District 2 is known for its hugs and cuddles.

Coryo: That checks out. Thanks for the answer, Sej.

Sejanus: Anytime, my love!😍

Felix: How about question 7, Plinth?

Sejanus: What does it say, Class Pres?

Felix: Why is it wrong for a lowly District born to befriend a Capitol Noble?

Sejanus: The answer is so obvious, Class Pres. It’s wrong because they first have to feed a Snow, and then court a Snow, and then date a Snow, and then befriend a Snow.

Felix: So you first feed, then court, then date, and then befriend?

Sejanus: Yes! My scheming old man told me that little secret himself!

Felix: And it worked?

Sejanus: Yup! My Snow Bae and I are even getting married after graduation!😍

Iphigenia: Plinth’s not wrong. His scheming father almost captured and married Coryo’s dead dad after all.

Coryo: Almost, Nia. Almost.

Festus: Yo, Coryo.

Coryo: What?

Festus: Does that mean that you and Sejanus could’ve been stepbrothers or even blood brothers in another life if his dad and your dad got married-

Coryo: Festus.

Festus: Yes?😀

Coryo: Shut up.

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jiminiepabo · 2 years ago

Text

BTS As Your Best Friends

I was feeling inspired by my BTS As Your Boyfriend series, and I wanted to give yall a cute little friend moment! 💕

Comtains: Fluff, that's about it lmao

This is only with the maknaes, but the others will come soon!

°+~♡~+°

Jungkook-

THIS MAN....

Devious asf 💀💅

He actually will not shut his fucking mouth, bro will call you up at 4 in the morning to talk to you about how his day went

Lowkey invites himself to your place unapologetically

Very juvenile, in a good way. Like sleepovers with snacks and movies and pillow forts

THE GOSSIP KING 👑

And he will fill you in on all the bangtan tea

He's the type to make pinky promises not to tell after he talks hella shit abt someone 💀

Not that he talks hella shit that much, but the occasion that it happens, expect a lot to come out of his mouth.

Very good listener tho, if you actually have an issue, he's gonna be there for you

Definitely tells you way too much about his dating life...

He also falls asleep on you, so get used to it. he's an affectionate bitch, what can he say? And with all the sleepovers yall are having, he can't help it

Okay but tell me why I think he'd love playing hair salon with you 👀

One of his downsides as a friend is that he's a fucking celebrity and has a shit ton of other people to interact with and other places to go

So don't expect too much from the poor guy, he's got a lot on his plate.

Recently we found out that he vapes, so he for sure needs a vape buddy

ALSO

He is SO GOOD at dating advice

Whoever you're into, he will be right there planning your wedding on a pinterest board.

Expect lots of singing in the car

In all, jaykay is fucking hyper but he's a great bestie to have

Taehyung-

Tae is your deep ass convo kinda guy

Like yeah, he's fun asf, but damn he's just built to talk about deep shit with you

If any of these friendships are likely to turn into relationships, it's gonna be with Tae

He just loves love 😭

And honestly, as he should

And I'm not saying that you return the feelings, but you are the one reading a Bts imagine on tumblr... 🤷‍♀️

Besides the fact that he lowkey has a crush on you, you'll probably be at his house more than your own

I can see him just talking and talking for hours on end with his bestie while you chill on the couch with a TV show playing in the background

Probably has a cute nickname for you

Like if you're short, he calls you shorty. And if your cute, he calls you cutie.

IDK MAN IM BAD AT THIS 💀💀💀

But he'll come up with something cute

Your contact name in his phone will probably be something along the lines of "my wife" or "wifey"

Or smth stupid like that just bc he likes you 💀

And he won't tell anyone either, he just unironically talks about you all the time, nothing suspicious 👀

Expect chaos when he's drunk tho

He goes WILD

It's fun though, seeing him being smiley and not contemplating the complexities of life to you

Your man is weird asf but you gotta love him

Jimin-

Someone needs to calm him down and give him a massage or smth

Because when I tell you...

JIMIN IS THE FLIRTIEST HOE EVER

He doesn't even like you, it's just jimin being jimin

Very sweet tho 🥺

He seems kinda awkward about giving advice bc he doesn't know exactly what to say, but he'll listen really good

Also, no offense to jimin, but he's a mess.

He's so caring that he likes someone new every other day istg

And he'll tell you all about it and it's the cutest thing ever watching him have so much love for so many people

May or may not have mid-life crises during the night and come over to drink alcohol and pour his heart out to you

He's a people pleaser so be a good friend and encourage him or compliment him a lot

He will most likely flirt with you in return but it secretly makes him feel reassured so just take one for the team

Probably will give you fashion advice tbh

And he's an icon so you let him do his thing

I think he'd like doing things like drawing or painting or dancing as an activity with you

Like it's fun to do, but it's quiet enough for him to talk about his problems

This is so sad but I feel like he projects a very happy image but he doesn't always feel it inside

He may struggle with self image and dependence on others

So he needs you to be his anchor to hold him down and tell him he'll be alright

And he'll do the same for you, don't worry.

°+~♡~+°

Hope you enjoyed! The hyung line version is coming soon! 💕

My requests are open 😘

#bts #bts scenarios #bts reactions #taehyung #jimin #boyfriend #yoongi #jungkook #namjoon #jin #suga #bts scenes #kpop #kpop boys #hoseok #hobi #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #jungkook x reader

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mercillery · 1 month ago

Note

Considering you NAILED Kirsch omg, and also the yandere Shanks was great I'm curious to see yandere Kirsch 👀💅

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + NOT PROOFREAD

NOTES: I wonder who’s the mysterious anon that requested this…🤔 (jk I know who u are. I love u btw thanks for the Kuzan photos 🫶 that sounded kinda creepy oops).

Okay, let’s get one thing straight right off the bat—Kirsch as a yandere is basically just… Kirsch with the intensity dial cranked up to eleven. All those familiar traits are still there—self-admiration, that princely charm he’s convinced everyone loves—but, oh, there’s a twist: he’s now obsessively infatuated with you. So if you’ve read my normal relationship overview for him, apologies in advance for some déjà vu! But hey, you asked, and I’m here to serve up this yandere chaos on a golden platter. Bon appétit!

From the very first moment Kirsch lays his eyes on you, it’s like the universe flips a switch. Suddenly, no one else exists—literally, it’s like the rest of humanity just fades into the background. His obsession blossoms faster than his magic flowers, and it morphs into a burning desire to monopolize every part of your life. In his eyes, only he is capable of giving you the love, admiration, and attention you deserve. He’s absolutely convinced of this, and he’ll shower you with affection, gifts, and way too many poetic compliments. But wait, don’t think all this attention comes without a catch—because oh, there’s a catch. Kirsch expects your loyalty and devotion in return. He’s like a lovesick prince who insists on being your number-one fan while also demanding that he’s the only one in your world. And who exactly are you to deny a prince in love? Well, he’s actually a royal—but you get the picture.

And if you’re thinking he’ll tone down the self-love act because he’s now your obsessive lover… WRONG! This man is committed to promoting his own beauty across all timelines and universes, even if he’s gone full yandere mode. He’ll praise you, absolutely—but he’s still going to fawn over his own reflection at the same time. In his mind, you two are the ultimate power couple—equally dazzling, equally worthy of endless admiration. It’s almost sweet if you ignore the whole possessive streak and the fact that he’s ready to obliterate anyone who dares to even look your way.

So while he’s obsessively devoted to you, he’s also still Kirsch. That means he’s going to hype up his own looks just as much as yours, maybe even more. You get both the fairy-tale prince and the unhinged devotion of a yandere all wrapped up in one sparkly package. Truly, you can’t say he doesn’t deliver!

To Kirsch, you aren’t just precious—you’re the crown jewel of his entire existence. But not just any old gem—we’re talking the rarest, most exquisite, luxurious jewel known to mankind. You’re the one-of-a-kind treasure that shines brighter than any other, and, naturally, that makes you his treasure to protect, admire, and cherish 24/7. But if I’m being completely honest with you here, in his eyes, you’re more of a prize to be carefully guarded than an actual human being with thoughts and feelings. It’s not that he doesn’t adore you—he does—he’s just a little too obsessed with making sure his “perfect treasure” stays perfect.

Kirsch has sky-high standards—he’s basically the CEO of perfection—and he expects you to match that same level of flawlessness. In his mind, you should reflect the same elegance and grace he sees in himself. And this is where his yandere side really kicks in. His need for control shows up in every corner of your life. He’s not shy about dictating what you wear, who you hang out with, and even how you speak and behave. It’s all about maintaining his vision of an immaculate, flawless relationship where you two are the shining example that no one else could ever hope to match.

Kirsch doesn’t even see it as manipulation. To him, it’s just the natural way of ensuring that everything is as it should be. In his mind, he’s simply “perfecting” you, polishing his precious gem until it glows the way he envisions. It’s all for the greater good of your relationship, and he genuinely believes he’s doing you a favor. After all, why wouldn’t you want to be the best version of yourself—especially if it’s the version he’s personally curated, right?

So if you ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him, it’s because, well… you are. Kirsch’s idea of love might come with a side of suffocating perfectionism, but hey, at least you know you’ll always be the brightest gem in his world—even if he’s the one polishing it himself!

Kirsch is the absolute king of jealousy. Seriously, if someone so much as breathes in your direction, he’s already plotting their exile. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or just some random passerby who dares to exist near you, Kirsch wants none of it. He demands your attention to be exclusively on him—because why on earth would you waste even a second on anyone else when you have the dazzling, divine Kirsch Vermillion in your presence? Commoners, nobles—doesn’t matter. If they so much as try to steal the spotlight from him or, worse, draw your lovely eyes away from his perfect face, he’s ready to throw down.

If someone shows even the tiniest sliver of interest in you, Kirsch’s envy levels skyrocket. Suddenly, that charming smile is gone, and he’s practically oozing hostility. And oh, he will make sure everyone knows you belong to him. Whether it’s a glare that could melt glaciers or a grand display of his status and nobility, Kirsch will send a message loud and clear: back off, because this treasure is his and his alone. He’s not above using his position as a noble to pull rank, reminding the so-called “competition” that they’re not even worthy of breathing the same air as you.

And if you—gasp—dare to look at someone else for even a split second? Oh, you’ll get a passive-aggressive comment right away. Something like, “Ah, I suppose you have a taste for the ordinary,” accompanied by a judgmental glance. It’s his not-so-subtle way of putting you back in your place as his partner, the one who should only have eyes for him. Yeah, he’s a needy one alright.

Kirsch showers you with affection in a way that can only be described as extravagant. I mean, forget simple romantic gestures—this guy goes all out. Picture rooms overflowing with flowers (the most expensive ones, of course), exclusive dinners at the fanciest restaurants, or private outings where he’s basically renting out an entire venue just to have you all to himself. Every display is designed to impress, dazzle, and remind you that being with him means living the life of absolute luxury. He’s utterly convinced that these grand gestures are the ultimate proof of his love, and he’s certain that no one else could ever match the level of extravagance he provides.

But here’s the catch: Kirsch’s over-the-top displays aren’t just about spoiling you. Oh no, it’s his way of weaving you into a golden web of dependency. The more you accept his gifts, the more he expects you to rely on him for your happiness and comfort. In his mind, every flower, every lavish dinner, every exclusive outing is another thread tying you closer to him. You think you’re just being pampered, but he’s building a tower where he’s at the top, and you’re the princess who can’t live without his luxuries.

And Kirsch isn’t just throwing money around without care—he’s meticulous about every single detail of these grand gestures. He puts an immense amount of effort into them, and he expects you to notice. Like, if he spends three hours hand-picking flowers, you better be thrilled about it. If he doesn’t see that sparkle in your eyes or if you’re not singing his praises for how much effort he put into it, he’s immediately acting wounded. Cue the dramatic sighs and the wounded puppy eyes. “Is it possible you don’t appreciate all I do for you?” he’ll ask, acting as if you’ve just broken his heart in two. And, of course, he’ll make it seem like you’re the ungrateful one for not acknowledging his devotion.

He’s an absolute stalker to the core. And we’re not talking the casual “drop by unannounced” kind; no, Kirsch takes things to a whole new level. He has people discreetly monitoring your every move, keeping tabs on where you go, who you meet, and what you’re doing—all in the name of “keeping you safe.” In his mind, he’s protecting you from the “common rabble” and anyone unworthy of even a glance from you. After all, he can’t have just anyone breathing the same air as his precious treasure.

Even when you two aren’t physically together, Kirsch has his ways. Whether it’s through magic spells, little notes delivered via enchanted birds, or his most trusted subordinates tailing you from a distance, he makes sure you’re always within his reach. You think you have the freedom to wander around the Clover Kingdom, but every step you take is part of Kirsch’s well-orchestrated operation. So while he might let you roam as you please, don’t be fooled. He’s still watching—always. In Kirsch’s mind, it’s just what a “responsible and loving partner” would do. You’re his most precious possession, and he’s determined to protect you, even if it means knowing your every move.

I know I keep hammering on about the whole “protecting you” thing, but I genuinely cannot emphasize enough just how dead set Kirsch would be on this. This guy takes his self-appointed role as your protector very seriously—like, to the point where it’s his entire personality. Kirsch sees himself as your knight in shining armor, and his yandere side cranks that protectiveness up to a thousand. If he already had a tendency to be a bit overbearing, now he’s practically your own personal bodyguard, shadowing you everywhere and making sure not a hair on your head is touched.

He’s obsessed with shielding you from anything he considers a threat, and that list? It’s long. In fact, his idea of “danger” is so broad that it pretty much covers everything from actual life-threatening situations to, you know, walking on uneven terrain. And let’s not even get started on things he deems “beneath you.” If it doesn’t meet his impossibly high standards, he’s barring you from doing it—no questions asked. His protectiveness is overbearing to the point where it feels like you’re living in a luxury cage made of roses and velvet. Beautiful? Sure. Confining? Absolutely.

If you ever do find yourself in a dangerous situation like one that actually qualifies as dangerous and not just you tripping over a pebble Kirsch will immediately step in. No hesitation, no second thoughts—he’s right there, front and center, ready to show off his strength and abilities. And, of course, he’s making a whole spectacle out of it, just to prove that he’s the one who’s always there for you. Because it’s not just about protecting you; oh no, it’s also about reinforcing the idea that you need him. You know, in case you forgot for half a second that he’s the hero in your life.

Afterward, he’ll make sure to remind you just how close you came to danger. He’ll go on about how you really should stay by his side if you want to stay safe. It’s all framed as concern, but really, it’s his way of making you feel indebted to him for his care. In his mind, every act of protection he performs is another reminder that you’re better off with him—because who else could protect you like this?

Oh right, I almost forgot—punishments. You didn’t think Kirsch would be the type to skip that part of the whole yandere deal, did you?

Now, don’t get me wrong, even Kirsch has his limits. He absolutely refuses to lay a finger on you in a way that could physically harm you. Not because he’s soft or anything, but because, in true Kirsch fashion, he doesn’t find it… well, helpful? It’s just not his style. Hurting you would clash with his whole aesthetic of elegance and grace, and honestly, even the idea of it is beneath him. Even if you did something as extreme as cheat on him (which, let’s be honest, would never happen because who could ever rival him in his mind?), physical violence is never his go-to. No, Kirsch’s punishments are far more subtle—and honestly, way more manipulative.

When you step out of line or do something he doesn’t approve of, Kirsch’s yandere side surfaces, but not in the way you’d expect. He doesn’t go on a rampage or throw a fit. No, Kirsch is refined in everything he does, including how he handles your “misbehavior.” Instead of violence, he believes in “correcting” your behavior, like a fine artist chiseling away imperfections. His punishments are emotional rather than physical, and they come in the form of small, seemingly harmless actions. He might withdraw his affection—suddenly, all those grand gestures and compliments go poof—or he’ll give you the cold shoulder, pretending you don’t exist for a while.

At first glance, these punishments don’t seem like a big deal. I mean, what’s a little silent treatment, right? But trust me—Kirsch is a master at making you feel the sting of his disapproval. His withdrawal of affection isn’t just some petty move; it’s carefully calculated to make you realize just how much you need his attention. And let’s be real, if you’re not aware of his yandere tendencies, this can seriously mess with your head. You’ll find yourself desperate to win back his love and affection, even though he’s the one creating this toxic cycle in the first place.

Of course, Kirsch frames these punishments as “lessons,” all designed to help you “grow” and become the perfect partner he knows you can be. He’ll talk about how everything he does is out of love, how he’s just trying to help you understand his feelings better. If you just accept his “guidance,” things will go smoothly between you two. It’s a whole game of manipulation disguised as care and concern, reinforcing his belief that he’s the best thing that could ever happen to you. Basically, his punishments are all about maintaining control. He doesn’t need to hurt you physically because he’s got a much more powerful weapon—his ability to twist your emotions and make you feel like you’re the one at fault. And as long as you’re wrapped around his finger, he’s convinced that everything is going exactly the way it should.

At the end of the day, for all his possessiveness and manipulative tendencies, Kirsch genuinely believes he’s in love with you. And, oh boy, he’s convinced that his feelings are pure, noble, and true. In his own admittedly twisted way, he’s fully devoted to you, and he’s absolutely certain that no one—and I mean no one—could ever love you as deeply or as passionately as he does. He’s practically saying, “You might as well stick with me because, trust me, there’s no one out there who could do it better.” And honestly, with the level of intensity he’s bringing to the table, it’s hard to argue with that logic… even if it comes with a few extra conditions.

Yes, his behavior can be completely overwhelming and borderline suffocating, but it’s important to understand that his yandere tendencies all stem from one thing: his desire to keep you close and safe. Kirsch will go to any lengths to ensure you stay by his side, whether that means manipulating situations, pulling strings, or crossing a few ethical boundaries. To him, it’s all justified—because it’s all done out of love. In his mind, he’s the hero in your story, the only one capable of protecting you, and he’ll make sure you never forget that.

He truly believes that no one could ever replace you in his heart. You’re the one for him, and there’s no one else who could even come close. In fact, he’s so certain of this that he’s already planning your future together. You might not know it yet, but Kirsch is probably going to marry you at some point, and he’s got the whole thing planned out—flowers, extravagant decor, everything. And with his status, he’ll make sure you’re set for life. So, hey, at least there’s some comfort in knowing that you’re likely going to live a life of luxury, right?

So… is this an exciting or terrifying situation? Maybe a little bit of both? It’s hard to say—being with Kirsch as a yandere is like being stuck in a fairytale where the prince is both your savior and captor. But, hey, he’s convinced it’s the perfect love story, and you’re the main character. So… yay? nay?

#kirsch vermillion x reader #kirsch vermillion #black clover x you #black clover x y/n #black clover x reader #yandere black clover #black clover headcanons #yandere kirsch vermillion #yandere kirsch vermillion x reader

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highlordofkrypton · 2 months ago

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ACOTAR wips // high lord's meeting ft. eris 💅

I wrote this chapter yesterday, or the day before, and I really enjoyed it. I think a few people would too, since it features Rhysand as a villain and Eris doing anything but be the side character I meant him to be. I loved it so much, I had to share.

This chapter is part of cosmogeny on AO3.

CONTEXT: This happens post-ACOTAR, with the ACOMAF and ACOWAR events mashed together. Rhysand is twisting and exaggerating events to make Tamlin look bad. It doesn't quite work out in his favour.

WAR LORD, Chapter 27

Seven seats for seven High Lords. Four of which are empty—

One Lord glows in a far corner by the window, looking out at the city of Lautnita, basked in Dawn’s copper glow. Another Lord has been replaced with a pale imitation of himself, a son who will never ascend to the throne. One seat speaks of the absence of Winter, a loud statement in the face of supposed peers. The last Lord was never invited, for there is no room against a duplicitous villain.

“Well, then, Great Lord of Night,” Eris leans against his jeweled hand, already bored. “Tell us what urgency requires the presence of Prythian’s leaders.”

“One of which you are not,” Rhysand clips, his violet eyes staring down the imposter. Beron doesn’t even trust his spawn to take his throne, why should Rhysand ? His absence marks the unimportance of this meeting in his eyes, and Rhysand takes that as an insult. “Do not think we are equals.”

“And yet, you are not my superior, so get on with it before you find yourself proselytizing to an empty room.” Eris cocks a perfect auburn brow in Rhysand’s direction. “Unless… you plan on keeping us here? Do you miss the undeserved attention from under the—”

“Enough!” Thesan snaps. This is his home, and the only Court willing to play neutral ground for seven High Lords, half of which are volatile and violent. Every single one of them is reeling from the damages done by Amarantha, and he refuses to sit and listen to childish snarking. “I do not mean to rush you, High Lord Rhysand, but please, do get on with it.”

Rhysand’s gaze lingers on Eris for a long moment, considering punishment or worse. There will be a time and a place, but there are more important plans in motion. He offers Thesan an apologetic smile. “Of course, my apologies. It’s just… with the news that I have, you can understand my nerves are a bit frayed.”

Eris rolls his eyes, but everyone else seems amenable to his excuses. Everyone being only Thesan, Helion, Eris himself and Tarquin. The youngest High Lord looks uncomfortable, despite his perfect composure. This is his first High Lord’s meeting since his cousin’s death, and he is doing his best. Rhysand would commend him for that, if the situation were less dire.

“We all swore that we would never allow an evil to take hold of our lands ever again. We all understood it when we brought back the Cursebreaker.”

Feyre is a symbol to them all—not only of their salvation, but of their own failures to protect their people. They owe it to her to protect her.

“Unfortunately, the High Lord of Spring has abandoned all hope in us. Hybern’s emissaries have been in his lands for the last three months. They patrol the wall and they gather information about our efforts to rebuild. They know we are struggling to unify our efforts.”

The meeting is a perfect reflection of this. Some of them couldn’t be bothered to show up for Prythian’s sake. (They couldn’t be bothered to listen to Rhysand who has been working to protect them at every turn. It is not his fault that they have limits to how far they will go.)

“They’re harboring a weapon,” Rhysand adds, in hopes of driving his point home.

Most of the Lords are old enough to school their expression, but Tarquin’s eyes widen ever so slightly. Thesan, traitor to his own composure, reaches to touch Tarquin’s hand and offers him comfort. They will get through this, one way or another.

“And what weapon is that?” Helion purses his lips. As the oldest between the Lords present, he’s seen his fair share of curses, monsters and innovation. Very little surprises him anymore.

Rhysand clenches his jaw, guarding the smile threatening to slither onto his handsome features. There is something validating about knowing something the other Lords don’t. He steels himself, despite his eagerness to see the inevitable shock on their faces.

“A Death God. The Death God.”

Tension spears through each of them, knitting them together with the taught string of fear. Only Helion remains unbothered, hiding behind his usual carelessness, but Rhysand knows he couldn’t have expected this.

“How,” Tarquin clears his throat, faltering on the word. “How do you know?”

“Mine is the only Court that houses several of them.” Rhysand answers, pride lining the proud upward tip of his chin and the strength of his shoulders. “I would recognize a death god if I saw one.”

“Until now,” Eris points out.

“The Spring Court has no control over theirs. Ours are imprisoned, as they should be for their crimes against our ancestors. Tamlin is playing a dangerous game, and we need to prepare for war.”

“We should speak to him,” offers Thesan. “It has been hard coming home for all of us, I’m sure. Perhaps our first mistake was trying to heal on our own.”

“You expect us to work together with him ?” Eris juts his chin in Rhysand’s direction. “Prythian’s turncoat?” He sighs. “I suppose it takes one to know one.” The eldest Vanserra son whistles sharply, and a hound appears by his side, gray smoke rolling off it. It regards the other Lord with bright red eyes. Eris whispers something in a foreign tongue, and the herald disappears. “Father will want to investigate, as our territory borders Spring’s.” Eris nods at Tarquin. “On both our behalfs. I will send a hound with updates.”

The Autumn prince stands, done with this conversation.

“Wait,” Tarquin speaks up. “I meant, how did you know Spring is doing all this? Tamlin has been avoiding meeting me since his return. I’m surprised you were able to go and see for yourself.”

This time, Rhysand’s jaw ticks in anger. “You’re forgiven for your ignorance, Tarquin, but do you not know I’m a daemati ? Very little escapes me.” He raises his hand, a generous High Lord despite all his power. “I don’t use it freely. That would be boring. Feyre came to me after Tamlin beat her as a reward for saving Prythian. I believe he wanted the glory for himself. She gathered as much information as she could before coming to me.”

Eris doesn’t care, he turns to leave. Rhysand stands, slamming the door closed with a breath of magic.

“I’m not done. If you think this is simply a matter of checking in with Tamlin, then you are sorely mistaken. He has let Hybern in. War has come. We are past negotiating.” Rhysand stands leaning on the great table before him. A clear glass presides over the mechanical marvel that is a map of Prythian with moving parts—creatures and characters of interest to Thesan.

He glances at each and every Lord present.

“If you think Amarantha was a nightmare, then you have sorely underestimated what now infests our lands. If you will not move against Hybern, then against the hellish creature that will seek to destroy us all. It is not faerie or human. It lacks our morals and rationality. It must be stopped.”

Rhysand should not have to campaign this hard; this is the right thing to do. Fists clenched, he considers forcing them to yield.

“I’ll need time to think about this,” Helion says, and fades into the sunlight, riding the sliver of warmth home.

Coward. Rhysand expects the others to follow suit.

“I’ll wait for Eris’ assessment.” Thesan decides, and Tarquin nods.

“If you’re so sure of yourself, Rhysand, why are you so concerned whether we agree now or later?” Eris smirks, and forgoes leaving by the door. In his wake, a falling curtain of smoke.

#my wips #anti rhysand #anti ic #anti feysand #anti feyre #villain rhysand #eris vanserra #pro eris vanserra

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