#he isn’t actually anxious
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Dave’s leg shakes sometimes and he can’t sit still. Karkat hates sleeping with Dave at first because he won’t stop fucking moving. He’s half asleep and then he feels Dave shaking like an anxious dog.
#homestuck#dave strider#karkat vantas#davekat#projection part 2#he isn’t actually anxious#he’s just shaking for no reason#he prob also cracks his bones in weird gross ways that karkat also hates#m mail
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can’t study for my test because i’m having brain rot about neil accidentally getting super drunk and stumbling up to aaron like “andrew???” and aaron is like “wrong one” and neil is like “andrew.” and aaron is like “???? are you stupid” and neil goes to look for andrew but he stumbles into the table, and aaron has to catch him or he will get trampled for fucks sake, and neil just collapses into him in a drunk cuddly heap. and aaron is like “neil. you need to stand up” and neil is like “i am” and aaron is like “that’s because i’m holding you up” and they get neil to stand but neil kinda just flops into aaron’s arms again. and neil is like “i don’t hate you, i don’t, but it’s okay if you hate me” and aaron is like “ugh, ew are you really an emotional drunk???” and neil, to aaron’s horror, looks at him with tears in his eyes because you know when you’re too drunk and you kind of just get a little scared and you need help???? ya. and aaron is like … ok. and kinda holds neil until andrew comes back from the bar with more drinks. and he sees neil basically asleep on aaron’s shoulder, and aaron looking uncomfortable but accepting, so he kinda raises an eyebrow, an okay? and aaron nods and is just patting neil on his back
and tomorrow they’ll wake up and neil will toddle downstairs with his hand against his temple and aaron will have advil ready for him, and he’ll say “you’re annoying and you don’t know when to shut your mouth or mind your own business, but i don’t hate you” and the thank you for helping repair my relationship with my brother and thank you for testifying and thank you for staying goes unsaid but yeah
and that’s how aaron and neil became kind of friends
edit: vomited out a one shot for y’all (this will prob become a 5+1)
Aaron swirled his drink a few times, listening to the ice clacking against the glass.
Eden’s was packed tonight, courtesy of it being the end of the school year. College students and the regular patrons flocked to the bar, the dance floor, and all of the tables, leaving Aaron to reserve a high-top table, and his legs to dangle from the stool.
“Drew?”
Aaron ignored him in favor of the twinkling sound the ice makes in his glass. He’d already taken shots, danced, had another drink, danced again, and now Aaron’s body was heavy with alcohol and exhaustion.
“Drew,” Neil said again.
Aaron looked around their table and didn’t see Andrew. He remembered Andrew getting up and walking to the bar with their empty tray. Aaron found him a few seconds later, hands in his pockets at the bar. That and Neil, staring up at him, looking uneasy.
Before Aaron could tell Neil to get out of his face, Neil was speaking.
“Are you’nt having fun?” Neil frowned, blinking sleepy, hooded eyes at him. He leaned closer to study Aaron’s face.
“What are you doing?” Aaron grumbled, pushing Neil’s face away.
Aaron hadn’t even pushed him hard, he more removed Neil from his space rather than pushed him, but Neil wobbled like his world had tilted out of orbit. Aaron realized, quickly, that Neil was going to fall backwards. He grabbed two fistfuls of Neil’s shirt and pulled him forwards. Neil’s head lulled on his shoulders with the force, his chin hitting his chest then righting itself.
Aaron’s stomach lurched, sick with the thought that someone had put something in one of Neil’s drinks, as he would for anyone, but thankfully he’s never been put in that situation. Neil’s eyes were hooded, his face flushed. Aaron snapped once at Neil’s ear, and Neil recoiled immediately.
“Does your head hurt or anything?” Aaron asked. Neil shook his head, frowning.
“Are you dizzy? Follow my finger.” Aaron pushes Neil back so he can see his face, keeping one hand on Neil’s shoulder to hold him up. Neil follows Aaron’s finger as it moves back and forth, albeit a little labored, but not as if he’d been roofied. Aaron declares that Neil’s reaction times and responses are fine, but he still pulls the front of his shirt up and checks his belt, the button of his pants.
“What—?” Neil slapped a hand on his abdomen, stopping his shirt from being lifted any higher. Aaron didn’t need to see anything but his pants, but it was reassuring that Neil still had inhibitions.
His clothes were fine. His belt was still done, zipper up. No one had tried anything. Aaron relaxed.
“Sorry,” Aaron said. “Sorry, I just needed to…”
While racking his mind back to why Neil is this drunk, Aaron remembered Neil taking shots with Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin. Four shots. He’d seen Neil sip on another drink like the idiot had the tolerance for alcohol that the rest of them had.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Aaron said and released Neil. Neil attempted to step back, his hands raised in surrender.
“No?” Neil asked warily. Even drunk as fuck, he still respected boundaries. Andrew’s boundaries specifically, as it still hadn’t registered that he wasn’t talking to the right twin.
“I’m not Andrew,” Aaron said.
“Where’s Andrew?” Neil asked, turning his head pathetically in search. Aaron only had a good view of Andrew because they were seated at a high-top. Over the throng of taller people coupled with strobing lights, Neil’s view was obstructed.
“At the bar,” Aaron nodded in that direction.
Neil turned towards the bar. Well, he attempted to. He pivoted, lost his balance, and toppled into the table. He tried to right himself and started to fall to the other side. Aaron caught Neil before he could bust his shit and get trampled.
“Jesus Christ, Josten,” Aaron spat, righting Neil with hands on his biceps. Neil slapped a hand on the table and leaned his weight on it. The table quaked under such abuse, but held.
Neil turned slowly, grappling against the table as if he was standing in one of those spinning fair rides. In his excursion to simply spin 180°, his hand slipped off the edge of the table as he faced Aaron once again. He reached for the table, missed, reached for it again, missed, said, “Motherfucker,” under his breath, and finally gripped onto the edge. His eyes locked on Aaron’s again, and Neil’s useless hand landed on Aaron’s shoulder.
“Andrew,” Neil said. Aaron didn’t know if it was more a request or if it was just not registering.
“Wrong,” Aaron said, tense under Neil’s hand, but he didn’t push him off. He’d rather hold Neil up than peel him off the floor. “Aaron.”
“‘m very drunk,” Neil said, looking up pleadingly at Aaron as if he had a magical cure to shitfacedness, and all Neil had to do for it was look a little scared. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Aaron asked.
“I’m drunk.”
Aaron snorted. “That’s kind of the point when you’re at a bar.”
“But,” Neil said, taking a labored breath, “I’m…too drunk.”
This was beginning to feel exceedingly similar to speaking to a child. Aaron was annoyed, but not completely heartless, unlike the narrative of Aaron Neil had likely concocted. “It’s okay, Neil,” Aaron said. “You should sit down.”
Neil promptly sat as if there was a chair under him, but there was not. Aaron, still holding Neil vertical, got pulled out of his chair with the momentum. To avoid toppling to the ground—which did not get mopped as often as it should—Aaron planted his feet on the floor and hauled Neil up by his armpits.
“Help,” Neil murmured. His arms dropped to his sides as he yielded his dead weight to Aaron.
“Stand up,” Aaron grunted, readjusting to wrap an arm around Neil’s back. One of Neil’s arms flopped over Aaron’s shoulder.
“I am,” Neil complained.
“No, you are not.”
“I am.”
“Neil,” Aaron said through clenched teeth, “I am holding you up. You need to lock your knees.”
“Oh,” Neil said. He looked at his feet as if he needed to check they were on the ground.
To be fair, Neil did lock his knees, but he also leaned all of his upper body on Aaron, arms still hanging limply at his sides. He tucked his head into Aaron’s neck with, what seemed, every intention to make a home there for the night.
“Neil,” Aaron said, frozen against the hair tickling his cheek. “God dammit.”
“And…ron,” Neil spoke against his shoulder.
“Yes,” Aaron said sarcastically. “That’s me.”
“Can I j’stay here?” Neil slurred.
From what Aaron had seen of Neil’s dynamic with his brother, he knew Neil would get off if he said no. He could place Neil into a stool or pull up a chair with a back so he wouldn’t fall out and concuss himself. He could shove Neil off and make him fend for himself. He could pawn him off to Andrew.
At the moment, those other options seemed like far too much work.
That, or maybe it was the med student in him, the intrinsic urge to heal and help and nurture that smarted at the thought of pushing Neil off.
Aaron didn’t push him off when Neil readjusted and tucked an arm into his chest, the other gripping Aaron for stability. He didn’t when Neil asked again, a quiet, “Aaron.”
“Okay,” Aaron conceded. He rubbed a hand up and down Neil’s back placatingly, but also because Neil seemed like he needed it. And he came to Aaron for it. Well, he came to Andrew and got Aaron. But he didn’t push Aaron off, and Aaron hasn’t done the same.
And they just…stood like that. For what seemed like a long time, but it probably was only a few minutes before Neil spoke again.
“Aaron,” Neil said.
Aaron hummed in response.
“I don’ hate you.”
“What?” Aaron asked. “What the fuck are you talking about, Neil?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“What?” Aaron said again.
“I don’wanna fight.” Neil lets out a colossal breath.
“We haven’t fought in a long time,” Aaron says, his idea of agreement. Acceptance.
Neil was quiet, because it was true. Neil seemed content to lay in Aaron’s arms, and Aaron didn’t have another stool next to him. He sure as shit wasn’t giving his up for Neil, but Neil was genuinely so unsteady on his feet that Aaron couldn’t let him go.
He trembled a bit, and Aaron was almost amused that after everything Neil had been through, being a little too drunk is what finally did it for him.
But Aaron had felt that way before. Inebriated and scared in a crowded room of strangers. Neil, however, has people he knows. How can Aaron be upset at Neil for wanting the comfort that he also craved? How can he be upset that Neil feels safe enough with Andrew to ask for help? That his brother finally feels safe with someone too?
“Aaron,” Neil said.
“What,” Aaron said.
“It’s okay if you hate me.”
“Oh God,” Aaron groaned, “Ew. Are you really an emotional drunk?”
Neil pulled back and, to Aaron’s horror, there were actual tears in his eyes. His lip trembled as he bit it, holding the tears in. Aaron hated how much of himself he was seeing in Neil tonight. The harrowing fact that maybe they are quite similar.
“Oh God,” Aaron said again, mortified. He grabbed the back of Neil’s head and shoved it back into his shoulder, effectively hiding Neil’s teary face.
He cast a desperate look to Andrew, who was finally on his way back to the table. He patted Neil on the shoulder, like one would burp a baby when they have no idea how to do so.
“Andrew.”
Andrew didn’t need prompting to look. His eyes were trained on Neil and Aaron from the moment he turned around. By the nonchalance of his movements and his lack of alarm, Aaron guessed he had been watching their interaction.
Andrew set the tray down on the table and cast a significant look between them, settling on Neil’s intoxicated form keeled over on Aaron’s shoulder.
Andrew raises one eyebrow, a silent question, an okay?
Aaron finds himself nodding, and unsure why. All he knows right now, a few drinks in, is that he doesn’t hate this. And he doesn’t hate that Neil doesn’t hate him.
-
The smell of coffee set Neil’s feet moving like a Pavlovian response. He was half awake already with a pounding headache, like his eyeballs were beating his closed lids to death.
Neil toddles down the stairs with his eyes closed, a hand pressed hard to his temple, stabilizing his brain.
Aaron was standing at the counter already, facing the sputtering coffee pot. His arms were crossed, hair ruffled from sleep. At the sound of footsteps behind him, he turned.
The memories from last night played past Neil’s mind like a sped-up movie. He grimaced in embarrassment, and felt a little sick at how drunk he was. How stupid he was, to drink that much. He should have known his tolerance isn’t matched with the rest of them. He could have gotten hurt, could have said something—
Fuck.
“Fuck,” Neil said, covering his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Aaron said. He turned back to the coffee, though his posture was rigid.
Neil grabbed a glass of water. He noticed Aaron watching from the corner of his eye, but Neil chose to ignore him, figuring that’s best. He sat on the counter with his water, sipping it slowly while he and Aaron waited for the coffee to finish brewing.
The silence was thick, but they were both too stubborn to leave the kitchen. Usually, they preferred to wait and pretend the other wasn’t there.
That’s what Neil thought, at least. After a painful few minutes, Aaron huffed and grabbed the bottle of Advil from the drawer next to the sink. He shook two pills out and sat them next to Neil.
Neil stared at them until Aaron cast a pointed look at the pills, then physically gestured to them with raised brows. Neil took them while Aaron watched.
The coffee pot beeped. Aaron made a split second decision, grabbing two mugs and pouring coffee into them. He slid Neil’s across the counter. It sloshed over the side, but Aaron wasn’t capable of caring at the moment. His mind was busy, and he knew Neil had noticed his lack of eye contact; the analytical fuck.
“Look,” Aaron said. He did not look at Neil to say it. “You’re annoying, and you never know when to shut your mouth or mind your business. Most of the time, I’m convinced you have a death wish, and a lot of the time I find myself resenting you. You complicated our lives, put us all in danger, didn’t give a shit.”
Neil’s chest hurt. He didn’t know if it was anger or guilt. Aaron started talking again before he could figure it out.
“But I don’t hate you. I can’t, really. I can’t even fault you for the shitty things you did, because it all worked out.” Aaron glanced quickly at Neil, looked away. His cheeks were red.
The thank you for helping repair my relationship with my brother and thank you for testifying and thank you for being good to Andrew went unsaid, but Aaron hoped Neil wasn’t obtuse enough to force him to say it out loud.
Neil must have understood, because he nodded. Aaron figured that was as close to a reconciliation they were going to have, so he leaned against the counter and pretended everything was normal.
For the first time, they drank their coffee in silence without animosity orchestrating it.
Neil’s mug was half empty when Andrew joined them. He paused in the doorway, squinty eyed and mussed, looking between the two. Neil on the counter, Aaron leaning against it. Their silence, but lack of tension.
“This is weird,” Andrew finally said, his voice gravely from sleep.
“Yeah,” Neil and Aaron said simultaneously.
Neil glanced over his mug at Aaron, the corner of his mouth twitching. Aaron regarded it, but looked away, because something like contentment had made its way onto Andrew’s face.
Aaron smiled at that instead.
#andrew’s watching from the bar like ‘what in the fuck.’#neil isn’t allowed to drink vodka anymore#andrew got tired of him crying#(not actually)#(his heart just *does something* when he sees neil in tears#(he does not like it)#he gets anxious and sad if he drinks too much#and he’s such a lightweight and doesn’t know his limits#so it happens a couple times before andrew is like ‘nope’#and monitors neil until they find a fun fuzzy drunk#not a sad scary one#neil doesn’t even drink that often but after 4 years in college he obviously does more than a few times#aftg#tfc#the foxhole court#aftg brainrot#neil josten#aaron minyard#andrew minyard#all for the game#trk#tkm#andreil
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JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.
#jojo siwa#discourse#Her comment sections are VILE#I actually don’t hate her songs. They’re basically early-2000s new old stock and I like early 2000s music#Is she trying too hard to look like an “adult?” Yes. But that’s understandable.#What isn’t understandable is screaming at children for no fucking reason#and JoJo not helping at all when a girl was hemorrhaging out her belly button#when JoJo’s mother told the girl to “put a pad on it”#I don’t care how afraid you are of your parents; you END that shit the second you see it#I was raised in a cult and I actively sabotaged my parents’ preaching work on multiple occasions#I didn’t know if I’d get kicked out if they found out I did that; the only reason I still have a relationship with them#is because they never found out about my later sabotage#Dad preached to a waitress dangling a cure for her sons’ disorder in front of her nose as incentive to join and gave her literature#So I went to the restaurant with him and insisted I pay for the tip.#I gave her eight dollars and a sticky note with a bunch of keywords about the cult’s abuses to look up#The next time I went there#she said didn’t understand the sticky note and asked me while he was gone what I meant#I hate talking to people especially when I’m under pressure because I trip over my words even when I’m NOT anxious#But her kids’ lives being free of a cult meant more to me than avoiding a momentary discomfort so I gave a quick rundown#She thanked me and heeded my warning basically playing along with me and not saying anything to my dad about it#I was 20; JoJo was about 19 when her show was going on#She had no excuse for allowing her mom to do that.#At the very least she could have said “Oh god I’m so sorry she said that. Please don’t hurt yourself for my show; go to the hospital.”#But no. She didn’t do that. In fact she screamed at children and joked that if they were crying then it was a good show.#Bitch come here and do that in front of me. I double dog dare you. I may only be 5’5” but I fight dirty and I’m angrier than you#Sorry. I guess I do hate her… for THAT specifically.#Like yeah I’ve fucked up with the kids I help and yelled when I didn’t have to but I HATED doing it and tried to do better later#Why someone would SCREAM at kids on purpose for long periods of time for no reason is beyond me
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I’m actually reading over my own shit back and asking myself IS big mama a groomer?
No I don’t think she is. That’s not her deal. She’s nice, maybe she’s too nice, and obviously far too rich, but she’s genuinely helping, she’s genuinely good at it. The issue is she’s absolutely got an agenda that no one’s paying attention to. Too much going on to notice. Big mama doesn’t actually do things for free so what’s the real cost? These kids are too traumatized to notice it. Maybe Slash notices it.
It just might really LOOK like she’s a groomer cuz of how much money she has, cuz of how weird her mannerisms are, how overly willing she is to dote on these poor fucking kids even if they can’t pay for her services. She’s clearly rich so that’s too weird. But she found them cuz april knew her, cuz April’s got sooome kind of in with the hidden city, not that she knows it.
That doesn’t mean spending time in her hotel is good for them. That doesn’t mean bad things won’t still happen to them. That doesn’t mean they should trust her fully.
But she’s really good at helping them unpack it all. And they have sooooo much to unpack.
#thinking#big mama#wcs#it’s weird to talk about stuff cuz I know it so intricately but I also don’t#cuz it’s still being unravelled. and at this point this arc is longer than the fucking rest of it but I’m genuinely having fun#that piece was just kind of a way of shocking you guys into seeing the fact I did that lmao#like no you have every right to worry but Raph actually IS okay being treated by her#Leo isn’t WRONG but he’s also. fucking overly anxious#but he has every right to be anxious BECAUSE of how messed up Raph is over splinter#but to be fair big mama keeps asking Raph if he wants to have her act as a buffer for a conversation w their mom and he’s just like NOPE
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I feel like clumsy smurfs personality in every iteration is kinda bad
#like first we have the old series and from what I remember he was suppose to feel like dumb or goofy in a way which doesn’t make any sense#cause when did intelligence have anything to do with being clumsy#then there were the movies where he was just kinda anxious and nervous which isn’t bad but#again what does being brave or confident have to do with being clumsy#and in the newest movie…..HOOOOO DID THEY UP IT UP TO 100 WITH HOW SCARED AND ANXIOUS HE IS CAUSE……WOW#I again must ask WHEN DID HOW BRAVE OR OUTGOING YOU ARE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BEING CLUMSY#like I don’t think him being more nervous to do new things or being a bit shy around people is bad I just#dont think they know how to characterize clumsy because it’s a very open thing#how I would fix this…..I’ll make a post about that actually cause I have a few other Smurfs I’ve got a problem with…while also praising some#cause they did get some of them right too#my stuffy stuff#text#a lot of text#the smurfs#smurfs
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Brainrot 2
Imagine if in-game, Yuma didn’t lose his memories and was rather pretending to be just another Master Detective among the WDO under his real name.
#master detective archives: rain code#rain code#master detective archives spoilers#rain code spoilers#yuma kokohead#imagine seeing apathetic and lone wolf Number One among the Detective Agency#trying to be cool and dependable#only to be anxious and awkward when it comes to actual social interactions#no matter how much trouble his attitude cause#the Agency isn’t going to leave him behind#they stick together like glue and pull him right back to their group#it be the first time in a long time he experience such love and kindness and be treated as a person rather than just a master detective#nocturnal detective agency#nocturnal detective family#I’m in a nocturnal detective family mood#sorry Shinigami#but this is an idea I have to explore without you#oh to explain the Number One identity thing#the WDO detectives would know Number One is someone among their ranks but they don’t know who it is#basically they are hiding their ranking with a different one#sakura code brainrot#brainrot
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Before anyone reads this please remember this is just personal opinion please don’t yell at me for anything but if u disagree obv that’s fine!!!
Finally finally FINALLY watched OFMD s2 and I’ve just got to say what the actual FUCK just happened
Like I wanted some angst but somehow this felt like TOO sharp of a turn
Also maybe it’s because I binged it with my friend in one afternoon but did anyone else feel like even though it mostly made sense it felt disjointed and kinda rushed??? I felt like I couldn’t keep up with where everyone was at emotionally
Loved the new female characters but. They felt very lacking :/ I did really like Zheng but I’m very conflicted on her taking over the crew but You know. Whatever I guess
Also it was still funny but I felt like majority of the humor was missing :/
As for final thoughts. FUCK that ending my baby is NOT DEAD AND YOU CAN PRY IZZY FROM MY WRETCHED AND DAMNED DEAD HANDS (I got a little lucky in this regard, I saw a spoiler for his death a couple weeks ago so I could prepare myself) also fuck Ed and Steve becoming innkeepers sorry but no
Idk man the ending didn’t even feel bittersweet to me I just felt hollow in the end. I feel like I was robbed. I felt the same way about the ending that I did with GoT which I know sounds insane cuz it was so much bigger but it’s like. Everyone got split up. They finally found their way back to each other. The big climax comes and goes. Then for some fucking reason the party splits again and it feels like a final goodbye to each other and I fucking hate it
Anyway. Still grateful we got a season 2 but I’m pretty sure the fanfic These Waves Will Pull Me Under by @underthecouchh will always be the canon s2 in my head (fantastic fic btw. U should read it)
#literally I knew Izzy was gonna die in the finale and I’m pretty sure I spent the whole second half of it nonstop crying#s1 had so much fun in it and I loved it sm but for the entirety of s2 I was just STRESSED#anxious and stressed and dreading every moment#i don’t know what it was specifically that bugged me so bad but I really wish it had gone differently :(#also I think everyone can agree we all fuckin called it that Lucius wasn’t dead. they could never actually take him from us#izzy isn’t dead btw. he’s not. he’s just on a vacation <3#:) can you tell I’m on the verge of losing it#I’m so not doing well#anyway#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2 spoilers
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Never have i felt rage worse than when i learned carrie fisher was sent to a fat farm, on the demand of fox studio executivess who put it as condition to have her cast cause they insisted on someone thinner (hi casting practices are deeply evil in fatphobic transphobic and racist ways- and that has only mildly improved since the fucking 70s) prior to filming a new hope, to lose 10 pounds, which was far from an exceptional practice in the film industry at the time. And lucas told it in the film bonuses with no shame or apology, they even interviewed carrie about it as if that was some fun anecdote-fuck lucasfilm all the way off for that. And to this day dieting for roles in blockbusters still is the norm (remember that anecdote of her telling john boyega to go break his diet and eat an energy bar from her fridge on the set of the sequels 30 years later ? we progress so fucking slowly)
In general Hollywood obsession/morbid fascination with actors modifying their weight to unhealthy degrees for roles sucks and so does the way journalism and the audience feed the mythos and reward those movies with press and promo about it (still haunted by that star trek press tour where benebitch cabbagepatch was asked continously about dieting for a scene not even in the movie, meanwhile the female actress who had a gratuitous scene in underwear it was just a normal thing, hello gender inequality). anyways as soon as i hear an actor had to diet i lose interest in ever paying for the media. no movie or series is worth the human suffering and its prevalence is yet another symptom of the dishonesty of art under capitalism
#some performance art that’s only lowkey commodified are a different thing#but omg stop making actors go without water for 3days for goddamn shirtless scenes people with fat exist and deserve to be seen on camera#this isn’t even touching the discrimination actually fat actors face#and hollywood preferring fat suits or making a thin actor gain weight before they’ll even look at a fat person#christian bale i am not impressed with your abs go drink something. idc about comic accuracy those are camp homosexual drawings#not beauty standards#im still mad about how the internet behaved about shirtless wolverine and thor#and the les mis disaster where the dehydration damaged the singing#diet culture#cw diet culture#star wars#carrie fisher#also the whole sexualizing layer with the no underwear and then rotj bikini#she had to diet for that too mark hamill still remebers they were anxious about their weight on the set of the jabba palace scene. obviousl#carrie more cause. fucking bikini#i hate lucas for how much he compromised#and how much he preseneted sw as indie/anti big studio while bending for them at the cost of his actors' health#the film industry being unethical pt294357#cast fat and middle sized bodied people challenge#original trilogy#cw fatphobia#cw fat shaming#anti fatphobia#cw anti fa
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my dad is being a piece of shit again
#impressive how it only took a week of being around him again to break me mentally#to be clear he’s not an abuser. i’m not actually being abused it’s just tough love because he’s a dipshit boomer#who hasn’t learned in 24 years of raising me that it’s never worked#anyways my mental health has already been shot from the school trip and he sees how anxious and neurotic i am#and just invalidates it at every turn#i messed something up and apologized to him and instead of accepting my apology he got annoyed and told me to stop apologizing#and i told him not to talk to me like that (because he does this all the time and i’m sick of his shit)#and he went ‘well don’t talk to ME like that’. when all i did was apologize for a mistake#what do i even say to that? he’s impossible#i wish i could bring this pattern up and tell him to stop but he’ll just keep finding ways to dismiss me#or even worse turn it into a screaming match (he doesn’t yell as much anymore but he did when i was younger and it traumatized me)#(but yelling at your kid isn’t really actual abuse so it’s just me being oversensitive as usual anyways)
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I’m so glad I’m moving in with one of my best friends on Monday and not my parents.
I’m so glad I’m doing life with her and not my parents.
I’m so glad she heard me out today when I was anxiously panicking because I made a social error because I was so desperately trying to not be an inconvenience that I was inconvenient to my parents.
I’m so glad that when I feel my most selfish and stupid and when I wonder what is wrong with me she helps me feel normal again. Like I wasn’t being obtuse to the point of ridiculous, like my parents.
I’m so glad I’m living a life without shame for my mistakes, and it’s because of her and not my parents.
#thanks! it’s the trauma#current status#no longer panicking but very grateful for my roommate#she actually has social bones in her body#and we are anxious about completely different things so we can smooth things over when the other is stressed#she absolutely laughed my flub off when I felt so embarrassed#distracted my father with a glass of water and a quick tour#of the house#then sat beside me when he went outside and let me talk to process my feelings#told me I wasn’t completely up Schitt’s creek for thinking how I was and that it was understandable#then sat by me while I put things away and caught up with me#i don’t deserve her#but I’m very grateful#I finally have a safe place to live that isn’t by myself
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andrew minyard listens to metal
the first time he played spiritbox (holy roller) in the car nicky was absolutely horrified. he wasn’t surprised, but seeing your headcannon come to life is jarring so i empathize with him
#andrew’s like: this isn’t even their hardest song#nicky is like: !!??!!?!#aaron’s kinda bobbing his head in the backseat#neil doesn’t care. he’s not even listening#he’s bouncing his knee antsy as fuck to get to the court#until andrew starts talking and he turns away from the window to listen#if he was a dog his ears would actually perk up#it sets kevin’s nerves alight (classical music connoisseur)#he listens to classical and the foxes fight song and that’s literally it#metal makes him anxious#maybe that’s why andrew plays it#little shit#aftg#tfc#aaron minyard#andrew minyard#kevin day#nicky hemmick#neil josten#the foxhole court#the monsters
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my dad might have fucking covid. about to jump off a bridge
#purrs#he was unmasked in my future room with the contractors yesterday and one of them woke up sick this morning and stayed in bed all day and now#my dad is feeling sick and my mom isn’t even better yet and i just saw so many people (WHO ARE VULNERABLE / HAVE VULNERABLE FAMILY MEMBERS)#in the last couple of days and now i might have exposed them. i am about to LOSE my shit. i need all respiratory diseases to die immediately#i am TIRED of living in constant fear. and i am FURIOUS at my dad for not wearing a mask.#like do you people NOT FUCKING GET IT. You may be cavalier. you may say you don’t care if you get it you can fight it off. BUT YOU INTERACT#WITH OTHER PEOPLE. who may not WANT to get sick. Who may not be able to DURVIVE getting sick. WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND. if you see#someone wearing a mask they are doing that FOR A REASON!!!! TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!!!!! TO PROTECT THEIR LOVED ONES!!!!! so fucking WEAR ONE#OUT OF COURTESY! USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN! i don’t care if they’re hard to breathe in. I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable. I don’t care if#it’s your own house and you’re not used to it. SUCK IT UP. you can be uncomfortable for five minutes. you KNOW how anxious we all are about#getting covid and you DIRECTLY endanger us and now i might have put other people in danger. and i didn’t even choose it I didn’t do anything#wrong. FUCK COVID. fuck this collective punishment nightmare. I am SO TIRED of living in constant fear because OTHER PEOPLE want to pretend#it’s over. it fucking ISNT. there are things I care about. there are people I care about. and if you were a decent fucking human being you#would understand that and MASK UP. not everyone gets to be so glib about it. it’s hard enough being seen as fucking insane and still taking#damage from having basicaly 0 social life because im too afraid to go anywhere or do anything it’s harder when people around me who i can’t#help but interact with exhibit that they do not actually care about how it is improtant to me that i do not get sick or get my loved ones#sick ESPECIALLY when it is my loved one himself who KNOWS how scared shitless we all are. it fucking hurts so bad. fuck covid. FUCK covid.#delete later#like. despair. i can wear my n95 mask all i want but i am still fucking HELPLESS when people around me don’t. despair. DESPAIR.
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Guys I don’t think my anxiety ever went away I think that it just moved itself and got worse.
#uh oh#when the social anxiety morphes from social to regular anxiety 💀#to be fair#I was diagnosed w generalized anxiety but we always focused on the social aspects in therapy#miss Brooke was really a gem she helped me realize that yeah not everyone is talking about you#she told me “this is going to sound harsh but it works. you are not important enough to consume everyone else’s thoughts#‘‘not everything is about you. nobody is spending the time and energy being your friend and then secretly hating everything you do’’#are she was RIGHT!!!!!#I still have so many social anxiety issues but I’ve improved drastically#genuinely life changing. it’s very grounding it really does help#except w my dad usually he is upset at me abt something#but sometimes he isn’t and that’s nice#I have a coil of anxious horrible buzzing anxiety in my chest when I get home usually#and when everything is cool and everyone is nice to me and glad I’m home#I just deflate but in a good way!#I can feel the anxiety melting away and it’s great I’m able to actually relax a bit#makes me happy when that happens#like today!#everyone was happy to see me :)#shock and awe fr fr
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headcanons with attractive things jason does 😭🫶
anon i have GOT YOU
When he sits on a couch, no matter if you’re on too or not, that man is SPREAD
Arms wide and resting on the back of the couch. Manspreading his thighs wide open. A relaxed expression on his face. Maybe a book in hand.
When moving in for a kiss, he cups your face with his left hand first. Then strokes his thumb on your cheek twice while actually kissing you.
Every. Single. Time. Doesn’t matter where or when. If it’s just a peck or y’all are making out, that’s what he starts it with.
Kisses on the back of your neck if he’s walking past you and you’re looking down.
Also will keep his hands resting on your hips if standing behind you.
He’ll swear UP AND DOWN that he means nothing by it. That it’s just a habit. But will keep a hand on your thigh while driving a car. Not even sexual. Just comforting.
Opening doors for you and guiding you through with a hand on the small of your back
You’re both sleeping in the same bed? He’s dead asleep. Usually isn’t. But with you, for sure he is.
And if you slip out of his reach while he is dead asleep, he’s reaching out and dragging you back like a lost teddy bear. And he’s asleep the whole time
When you’re out eating or at a bar and he’s getting a bit anxious with all the people around, he’ll play footsies with you under the table
Got so intense once he accidentally knocked the table over and you two got kicked out
This man LAUGHS
No one talks about how Jason’s laugh (may have a fic in the works about it. I’ll finish it if y’all ask)
I’m not talking “he chuckled” or “he grinned” or “his shoulders shook with silent laughter”
I’m talking about how this man tosses his head back before leaning forward, clutching his stomach with one hand, the other reaching for some part of you to grasp as you laugh along with him. How his laughter is deep and BOOMING. It takes up a whole room. Echoes across the street. Enters your ears and melts into your blood stream and goes immediately to your heart which picks up its beating to make sure to get it to the rest of your body. How he straightens up again, his face split in a grin, eyes opening again while he has to wipe away tears of laughter, his body still shaking with it.
I want to make jason todd genuinely laugh and if the sound makes me go deaf then so be it because at least i was able to hear the most beautiful sound in the universe
I’m sorry this got off topic but
He wears glasses when he reads and that’s hot too i guess
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#dc#jason todd fic#red hood#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x you#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd x gn!reader#jason todd x male!reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd headcanons#jason todd fanfiction#red hood x gn!reader#jason todd x m!reader#missy writes
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piggyback rides
synop: you want trueform!sukuna to give you a piggyback ride and he doesn’t know what it is. that’s it.
tags: fluffy fluff fluff, fem!reader (referred as woman once, refers to self as ‘queen’ and ‘wife’ once), ooc sukuna (only bc he’s less of an asshole), possessive behavior (kind of?), mentions of sukuna-typical violence, likely historically inaccurate, not proofread. i couldn’t determine whether or not he was actually wearing a haori or something similar - correct me if i’m wrong n i’ll change it!
notes: basic ass title ik... erm sorry! another post in two days is a miracle so i’m a little proud of myself. half-assed ending lol... anyway, this is just a silly lil drabble!! any interaction is much appreciated, enjoyyyy! :3
“what.”
the first set of crimson eyes dart down to look at you, the other set still tracking the scuttling servants. you’re situated quite snugly in his expansive lap — two thick arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into the warmth of his bare chest. “what the hell is that?”
you nibble the inside of your cheek to suppress a smirk. finally, you know something that sukuna does not! and it only took three years. “it’s where i get on your back and you carry me around. quite simple, truthfully.”
he snorts at the slight condescension in your voice. for something so agitating, you have quite the ego. “mm. and why should i do that for you? you can walk on your own, unless your legs are mysteriously broken all of a sudden.”
“because,” you say with a huff, “it’s fun. don’t you want to bond with your queen?”
anxious eyes of passing maids sneak glances at you, your little huff drawing their attention. sukuna shifts you in his lap, turning you to the side, and the massive sleeve of his robe moves to obscure your form from their undeserving gaze. “we have bonded enough.”
“and it would not hurt to bond some more!” you counter. sukuna’s stubbornness is something you absolutely adore about him, but not right now. “can the mighty king of curses not spare a moment of his day to entertain his wife’s wish?”
he falls silent at this, and you can practically see the gears churning in his big head. he’ll cave. if there’s one thing that’s undeniable about the sorcerer, it’s his curiosity.
“... fine,” he grunts. after scooping you up and setting you down, he stands up and gestures with his hand. “so how do we do it?”
your lips curve up into a smirk. “okay, turn around so that your back is facing me.”
sukuna turns around, folding one pair of arms over his chest.
“then, crouch down a little.”
a beat passes, and then he crouches down, back muscles flexing underneath the dark fabric of his haori.
you step up behind him and slide your arms around his neck. his adam’s apple bobs, and the other arms move to cradle your butt. “if this is an attempt to choke me, it isn’t work.”
he always thinks someone’s out to get him. you roll your eyes. “no. if i wanted to kill you, i likely would’ve attempted forever ago.” you lift your lower half onto the lower part of his back, and your legs wrap around his hips.
another beat passes. “is that it?”
“yep.”
sukuna adjusts you, his hold on you becoming more secure as he rights himself to his full height. the warmth of your breath ghosts across his ear, and he can smell the scented lotion you applied this morning.
why hadn’t he done this before?
“soooooo,” you drawl, and he can hear the smile in your beautiful voice without even having to look. you’re so close — he hears the little inhale before you speak, the nearly imperceptible huff of laughter once you finish. “what are you just standing here for? we gotta walk around, explore the estate! it’s not fun if we’re just stuck in one place.”
“i am not a servant,” he warns, voice gruff, but he starts to move towards the throne room’s exit anyway. anyone unfortunate enough bows, mutters a jumbled greeting to the both of you, and scrambles out of the way.
it’s no secret that sukuna is more... benevolent, when you’re around. but that is a double-edged sword — if someone dares to disturb your peace or inconvenience you in his presence, they’d be facing a swift death, along with their parents for giving birth to such vermin.
“apologies, my spectacular husband.” you lean forward a bit and press a kiss onto his cheek, leaving a faint lipstick stain. “now, please, venture forth.”
he rolls his eyes. “if you command me again, woman, i am going to sprint.”
the teasing lilt quickly disappears from your voice, and your arms tighten around his neck. “n-no, that isn’t necessary.”
sukuna’s pace increases, now a brisk jog instead of a leisure walk, and you can hear the gravel crunching beneath his feet. “oh? is it not?”
“it isn’t!” you squeak. a little embarrassing, yes, but you know how fast sukuna is — you’re positive that if he broke out into a full-speed run, you’d be sick by the end of it.
“let’s find out and see.”
#﹒writing#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk sukuna#sukuna#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you
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me: tries to study
my brain: immediately links back everything i studied to the Current Fixation
…. i swear, if im abt to have some kind of diagnosis looming over me it better happen soon, bc if this is neurotypical then someone has got to tell me how everyone else still does it
#brought to you by me wondering what a constitution in my specific omegaverse would look like#since it has a pack structure where only alphas and sometimes betas are recognised as People#but the distribution of rights is still kind of existent#BUT I CANT FOCUS ON THAT BC I HAVE AN IMPORTANT EXAM ON TUESDAY#ABOUT ACTUALLY EXISTING CONSTITUTIONS AND RIGHTS#and here i am#tempted to do a fucking overview of my omegaverse constitution#and thinking abt what international law would look like for them#marinia crying in the bathroom#michael wishes he had what i do#which is an anxious and somewhat neurodivergent flaire#that isn’t legitimised by anything concrete#altho there has been a peer review in favour#so who’s to say#studying struggles
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