#he is very resilient
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About to perform open heart surgery on my favorite lesbian. Wish him luck.
#my computer hard drive is on its last legs#pray for her#he is very resilient#its been multiple years that this has been necessary out of the five that i have owned her
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New Goal Acquired!
Bug Fact: The scarlet lily beetle (or better yet the lily bug ;P) is a leaf beetle that eats the leaves, stem, buds, and flowers of lilies.
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Masterpost
#The Knight has a new plan! KILL GOD#this is the most the knight has emoted here lmao. Big eyebrows#Dewi may have put the HK out of commission but he still hoped he didn't kill the bug outright#most resilient bugs can handle a few crushing blows....even if they may break a few legs#HK/Rad is very confused. Big creature literally tries to kill them and then immediately regrets decision. huh???#hollow knight#hollow knight humans#dewi's adventures in hollow knight#hollow knight knight#hollow knight hollow#dewi#my art#art#comic#hk spoilers#hollow knight spoilers#spoilers
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if i was edwin payne and a giant inter-dimensional ghost-eating mushroom was about to consume me and my bff of 30+ years on the same day i went out of my way to dress up nice because i literally just figured out i was deeply and completely in love with him and despite my 100+ years of edwardian-era repression i already decided i needed to share this information with him as soon as possible because we are indeed that close, and said best friend/love of my life decided to take his hand off the branch/root thing we were clinging to trying not to get swallowed just so he could put his hand over mine for comfort in what even the evil witch attempting to obliterate us felt the need to comment on for being a sweet final moment, i would simply pass away. again.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#the case of the creeping forest#charles was insane for this one i dont know how edwin didnt combust on the spot#the most unrealistic thing about edwin payne is NOT that he's a ghost who does magic & pulls everyone in town except his own life partner#it's that he ever appears onscreen again after episode 6#total annihilation via mushroom was right there in front of him#and instead of offing himself he had the balls to look his crush in the eye again after THAT?#like i get the show has been very clear about the fact that the guy is especially resilient and such#it's a well-established and oft-returned-to plot point and all#but come ON#could never be me#HOW is his first line after getting out of that both sensible and slightly snide that boy does not deserve to be cool & collected already#im still not and it's been weeks since i saw it and it didnt even happen to me
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Loz fandom stop being angsty and give the daydreaming kids on big fun adventures with a cool glowing sword some actual whimsy and joy challenge
#It's like the happy media equals angsty fandom and vice versa but like. Video game series about the dreams and adventures of childhood with#A fandom full of angst and abandonment and depression and smut#It's why I don't really stay in the loz fandom long each time I circle back around#There's so much potential for good things and comfort and snuggly warmth and lightheartedness.#Like yeah messed up things happen in front of and to link but kids are resilient beasts and most importantly they fix it#He's literally wearing the Peter pan hat to invoke that sort of eternal wonder that's the DESIGN of the hat that's why it's so identifiable#Fanart captures it a lot. The gorgeous landscapes and quiet moments and dappled sunlight#But fics???? Oh lu fics are just full of miscommunication and resentment and sour interactions and pain and simmering anger#I prefer to read trusted authors because it's so wearing but the problem is you have to go out and find them lol#It's a very controversial belief of mine that every link enjoyed their adventure even if it was scary or sad and would not be averse to#Another. Oh the circumstances they might hate. But link has never been one to refuse the call#That's the POINT they stepped up when the adults couldn't it's their COURAGE that they'd be fastest to volunteer.#Unrelated but post game botk is adhd central you can do literally whatever you want and whatever pace and you just drift around getting#Distracted and teleporting all over and setting challenges and poking around every nook and cranny#Like botw I had over 300 koroks and 98% map completion. I maxed out hero's path twice over. Totk I've just been wandering around#Speed farming lynels like 17 different goals drifting from one to the other as I wish. Still missing the last 2 sage orbs NO idea where#There's like a million hinoxs now tf#loz#legend of zelda#lu#linked universe#ao3
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idk anything abt malevolent but based on ur posts this arthur guy sounds rly sad
oh he is. incredibly tragic. nearly sisyphean. he lives in a purgatory of his own making. the ironic thing is that he's actually very optimistic and positive and all throughout the show never ever loses his sense of whimsy and sillyness.
#he is like a bug . very resilient despite the horrors#i love him#i want to feed him bread and lettuce and pat his head#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevpod#arthur lester
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I know the ask is about ships but could you make a non ship one with Dean and Carlos from the Winchesters? I can't think of an exact thing for Dean to say, but the first sentence can be what Dean would say for their first meeting. Thank you if you can (*^‿^*)
"I like your hair," Dean says, staring up from where he's clinging to the bottom of Mary's winter coat, and Carlos grins wide when he adds, with all the breathless gravity of a four year old eager to impress their opinions upon a new friend; "It's swooshy and it's pretty like Mommy's hair, and your-- your beads are pretty and shiny and shiny is my favorite color."
"Swooshy and pretty and shiny is exactly what I was going for, so thank you, little buddy."
Even with almost six years between now and the last time he'd seen Mary, Carlos is relieved to find that they still have a good sense of one-another -- can still communicate silently, swiftly, like they used to when it was life or death. He meets her eye, and her face softens, and understanding passes between them before he slides one of his lucky beaded bracelets -- the bloodstone one -- free.
Dean's eyes light up when he takes it.
When he smiles, he looks just like his mother.
[for this askbox game if anyone else wants to send me a prompt]
#supernatural#the winchesters#supernatural fic#the winchesters fic#dean and carlos#hi anon i love you and YES you can have a platonic dean and carlos ficlet!!!#for the record this is set in the uh... the prime universe? og spn universe?#did we ever reach a consensus on what to call the different 'verses?#but yeah this is a world in which the events of the winchesters didn't happen#so mary got out of the hunting life as she did in spn and lost touch with carlos and lata and ada#and carlos has been on the road#and just happened to be passing through lawrence when he bumped into a heavily pregnant mary with a four year old dean at the grocery store#so here we are :P#cass writes fic#fandom: supernatural#fandom: the winchesters#also now i've made myself extremely sad thinking about a year later#carlos swinging through lawrence again and going over to the house to visit mary and meet her husband and the new baby#and finding the house abandoned and ravaged by fire#checking the local newspapers and discovering that mary had died and her kids and husband have dropped off the map#having to call lata and ada to tell them#and then not reconnecting with dean (and meeting sam) until many many years later#when they happen to be hunting the same monster#and he realizes who they are#and is absolutely distraught over what has become of mary's children#especially the sweet little boy who'd been so enamoured of carlos' pretty hair and jewelry#also i linked to a picture of bloodstone because it is indeed very pretty#and i chose that as the stone used in the bracelet carlos gives dean for several reasons:#it symbolises strength and resilience and encourages growth and positivity generally but also especially during times of hardship#so i've basically decided that carlos helped keep dean safe for many years thanks carlos <3
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Recent doodles cause I was sick so obviously I had to give that to the vampire hunter man. The transfer was mostly successful btw, the headaches are less frequent d(^^)
Text and other ranting ⬇️
This one has no text. It’s just Simon waking up a little feverish— I was going to draw him getting out of bed and other longer character interaction comic stuff, but I uh was also having the head pain at the time 💀💀💀. Maybe someday later.
Simon is in like a robe or housecoat and saying “I-I’m all alright” and there’s a bit in parentheses under him that says “says guy who is clearly ill”. Then there’s a littler doodle of him doing the unsteady walk you do when you’re sick sometimes in his pjs—
The text is as follows: (Christopher) “oh my god— Simon, go lay down you are burning up.” (Simon) “immokayy” (Christopher) “you are swaying on your feet please—”. I think Simon would probably deny that he was anything less than in perfect health even when visibly not 💀. Or do the thing of “I’ve had worse” or “I can handle it” and like no, sir, what you’ve missed here is that part of handling it is rest, go lay down!!! Also Christopher is here because I just wanna see all the Belmonts getting to be a family and have significantly less responsibilities to deal with. Good lord do these guys need just a fun slice of life everyone is alive and well and we threw them into modern times AU holy shit… And also Christopher is Mr. Dad Guy Belmont, he’s definitely the guy out of all of them to be harping on someone to take care of themselves. Idk I feel like he gets extra dad vibes having been the guy allowed to be a dad on screen lol. Although I could see most of them doing this for someone though, so Simon has to go through like a whole maybe 5 other dudes insisting that he go rest and following him to make sure he’s alright. That whole denial thing is not going to work 💀. I’m thinking maybe I should draw that huh, ok another one on the ever growing list—
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#castlevania christopher#christopher belmont#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#art post#my art#yay drawing the blorbo going through situations you’re in yay!#he probably has the most messed up fever dreams ever like#that shit’s gonna be sending him back to the spinning room in Draculas castle like#somebody get him an icepack :(#also like now that I’m thinking of it—#Belmonts generally seem to have an immunity to contracting supernatural things like#Simon tanks transmissible hits from werewolves vampires and zombies all the time and doesn’t end up any one of them#and I imagine the curse got to him because it came from like demon dragon Dracula monster that’s the embodiment of humanity’s sins#I mean that sounds like a pretty big deal to me—#they also seem to have some kind of resilience against being injured in general too#Trevor gets stabbed in the heart and lives long enough afterwards to be picked up by Julia and saved#but does this resistance to things apply to illnesses?#like do they just very rarely get sick— do they get sick at all— is it only like high level illnesses that they can get#do they get sick and then just like tough it out way better than a not supernatural whip wielding magical bloodline person—#it’s probably some kind of difference in frequency and intensity tbh hmmmm#interesting thing to think about—#either way Simon has some crazier illness than I had I just had like probably severe eye strain or smth#he’s going through it 💀💀💀
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#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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Murtagh had that horse. The grey one. He named it after Tornac. But he'd had that horse since he was a calf, when Tornac was still alive, so the poor thing had to have a previous name.
I am thinking way too much about how old he was when he got him and what was his original name.
#inheritance cycle#murtagh#tornac#tornac the horse#tonhal pofázik#i mean#i named my cats very differently when i was 10 and when i was 15#could be anything really#storm or fastie or maybe eminence or resilience if the noble upbringing meant anything to him#or maybe he named him after his favourite character or historical figure#but in that case the re-naming would have been like it was with zar'roc-ithring#argh
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I cannot express to you the emotions that flood me every time we get an episode where Hawkeye is passing out where he sits, but BJ is still managing to truck along.
#this is simply me reflecting on the very specific resiliency coping mechanism that bj seems to have developed via sleep#we are all always on the 'let hawkeye sleep' train because let's be real that man fucking deserves it#but for every 'let hawkeye sleep' there is the countertrain of bj who subsequently does not#and i'm tugging beej's threads and following them to wherever he started learning to shrug off sleep and put his needs absolutely last#no wonder bj gets so pissy so often when he's trying to sleep and he gets woken up#bj hunnicutt#hawkeye pierce#m*a*s*h#mashposting#mashblogging#s6e19#your hit parade#s8e9#mr and mrs who
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These kinds of interpretation absolutely baffle me. Why do we, as a fandom, see an abused, hurting, struggling, vulnerable man, who clings to his humanity and tries to protect everyone around him in a world that doesn't make sense and is trying to actively KILL him, and immediately jump to a conclusion this man is... weak and pathetic?
Why? Because he was abused?
Because his bodily and psychological autonomy were violated in every sense, and he could do nothing to stop it?
Because he got addicted and dependent on something he didn't choose or want, had no control over, and had no choice?
Because he got addicted to statements and trauma and the Eye against his will and was actively starving himself? Because starving himself made him physically weak, tired and prone to collapsing?
Because his health was failing?
Because he was hurting every minute of his life?
Because he tried his best to resist the powers and it made his pain WORSE?
Because, despite his fear of vulnerability, his highly independent nature and exterior aloofness, he was deep down a deeply vulnerable, hurt man?
Because he's a victim of abuse, and he couldn't do anything against his abuser?
Why, can you explain to me, WHY do you call Jonathan Sims pathetic? Do you really think people who are victims of abuse and violation, people who are suicidal and depressed, people who are chronically ill, people who struggle with physical and mental health problems are?
#tma#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#these takes are either 1) ableism (most likely);#2) victim blaming; 3) complete disregard for male abuse victims and failure to recognize that men can also be abused and hurt#or 4) gender stereotypes where a man is ''a physically strong muscular conventionally attractive macho''#and if he fails to fit into this very toxic standard of masculinity then he's ''weak and pathetic in every way''#Jon is not weak and ''pathetic in every way''#Jon is an abuse victim who did everything in his power to fight against something terrifying that was bigger than him#Jon is an abuse victim who got violated and taken advantage of and he STILL didn't give up#he was still resilient and trying his absolute best while his mental and physical health was FAILING#because he was made into an Avatar without his consent by someone else (jonah)!#how much time do you think YOU would last?#how much time do you think would pass before YOU give up?#I mean yeah yeah I get it it's fiction and we're all entitled to our own perspectives and those perspectives are not a moral failing#but if I see another ''jon is pathetic'' take I'm blocking on spot#this seems to me like such an ableist take#you see a fictional character who is struggling and actively suicidal#and you call him ''pathetic in every way''#what kind of message am I supposed to get from this?
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Me sneaking into your asks with this drabble:
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Disclaimer: I have yet to get a good grasp of Moze's character so this might be a bit OOC and on your side as well (sorry). I did my best. Also, this was inspired by the post you made abt telling Moze your tasks for the day | 600+ words (not proofread)
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In Moze's eyes, you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies.
You were quite literally everywhere. He'd find you talking to someone one moment before you're rushing off to do something else entirely the next. It seemed like you had quite a lot on your plate as of recently. Tasks, things you wanted to do, and so much more spinning around that mind of yours. You've told him a bit of your plans so he has a general idea. But seeing you juggling all of those tasks at once makes both admiration and concern bloom in his chest.
One time, Moze found you carrying a box filled with items. It would've been amusing to him how comical it was that the items piled so high— he could barely see you behind it. However, he did worry right after given how you almost tripped over something. He managed to catch you and the items before both came crashing all over the floor.
He insisted on helping you carry the items to wherever its destination was. It took a bit of pursuasion on his side. Convincing you that it truly wasn't a bother to him at all, and that he'd be very much glad to be of assistance to you.
"I need to get these delivered first. Then go stop by the shop to buy some things. After that…" You go on to ramble about the things you had to do to help get a better vision on what else you had to do. "Oh, no… I messed up." The smile on your face dropping at the thought that had slipped your mind until that moment. "I forgot to invite Jiaoqiu to dinner with the others—"
"It's tomorrow evening, right? He knows. I mentioned it last time when I spoke to him." Moze says with a calm tone.
You blink at him, slightly caught off-guard by the man beside you. Though it's immediately replaced with relief and gratitude. The smile on your face already back, lighting up your features once more. Infectious as always, it makes the corners of his lips tug upwards as well. A small part of him feels quite proud to have been able to help you ease your worries even by a bit.
And this is when you start noticing it.
Did you mention that you're running out of a certain skincare product, but you can't find the time to stop by the store to buy it? Moze conveniently has to stop by near the store and buys it for you. Did you also mention that you wanted to do a certain task but keep forgetting about it? He gently reminds you about it via message or verbal if he's nearby. Did you also happen to mention that you've been meaning to try out a certain desert from a cafe, but the schedule simply doesn't seem to allow you? No fear, he passes by the store to buy you the treat.
Moze doesn't see you as someone incapable of handling things by yourself. To him, he simply sees it as a way to show his care. If making a quick stop somewhere, sending you a small reminder of something you had to do that day, or even helping you out with the tasks you need to accomplish, makes you smile? Gives you a chance to take a break? Let you worry less about the things you need to do? It's worth it in his eyes.
He does his best to avoid making you feel like you're bothering or troubling him (you really aren't). Most of the time, he does them discrcetly and casually. Partially, since he's also scared that you'll think he's weird or a creep for acting like that.
Please don't think of him badly.
Moze truly means well.
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 cy!#彡 inbox.#彡 cherishing.#excuse me cy 🥹🥹🥹 you wrote a drabble based off a vague little post i made about moze 🥺🥺 HOW WILL I EVER THANK YOU 🥺🥺 that is so sweet ?! ?!#600+ words ?!?! CY !!!!!! THANK YOU ?!?????!!!!!! IM IN SHOCK /pos IM STARING AT MY SCREEN LIKE 🥹🥹🥹🥹 YOURE SO KIND YOURE SO SO SO KIND !!!!#‘you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies’ HANSNDJDN i want to be his dog 🙂↕️🙂↕️ and !! i have to say — the energy rush a#him is so real T T HE IS JUST SO FUN HES SO SWEET HES so awesome he’s so lovable — zoomies is inevitable with mr shadow guard of the yaoqin#im smiling so hard at the ‘you were quite literally everywhere’ AAAAAEEEE there is much to explore !!! THIS IS SO CUTE THOUGH IM SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#THE CARRYING THE BOX SCENE ?!???!???? this reminds me of one of previous jobs i had ajanskdkxk YOU DONT REALLY NEED TO SEE . YOU CAN PEER#AROUND THE BOX — BUT MOZE SEEING ME IN SUCH A STATE IS SO EMBARRASSING/pos omg he caught me x0x IM BRIGHT RED AT THIS THOUGHT SHSNJDCJ also#cy !!! i will say that i love your writing and you put down your thoughts ….. this is such a cute read and my heart is so soft reading this#truly truly thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write something as sweet as this for me ?!?! i am so blown away and so#thankful AND SO EMOTIONAL AND SO HAPPY oh )))): thank you thank you thank you thank you cy!!!! i adore you infinitely 🥹🥹🥹🤍🤍🤍#NOOOOO HE DOESNT NEED TO HELP ME CARRY IT ALL THE WAY THERE 🥹🥹🥹 SURELY SUCH A THING IS NOT IN HIS JOB DESCRIPTION#even if it was i would feel bad !!! T T oh my god please cy this image of him insistently that he’ll help is making me so red /pos he’s so#sweet ))): OH MY GOD AND THE RAMBLING SJSNSNDKXKKS IM REALLY SO RED AND FLUSTERED READING FHIS SKNSNDNX HES LISTENING TO IT 😭😭😭 HE IS#PERCEIVING ME 😭😭😭😭 but i do think my nervous chatter would activate in his presence — oh cy that would be so awful — to talk and talk and#talk his ear off :’) OMG OMG HE ALREADY TOLD JIAOQIU 😭😭😭 SAVIOR MOZE life saver moze i am indebted !!! TWICE NOW . THE BOX AND NOW THIS#him feeling proud ?! 🥹🥹 there is much more for him to feel proud about ! for example — how resilient he is / how strong he is / how kind he#is / how … i should not continue HIM KNOWING WHAT SKINCARE PRODUCTS I USE ????????? AND CHECKING WHEN IT RUNS LOW ??? ))))))): AND THE REMI#REMINDERS * MEAN SO MUCH TO ME OH CY ))): YOU ARE TOO TOO TOO KIND IM SO HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED SUCH A GIFT insjdjxnj ))): cy !!!!!!!!!!#THE DESSERT …. I LOVE CINNAMON OR LEMON DESSERTS …… oh he is ))): he is too kind )): YOU!! ARE TOO KIND CY !!!!!! I WILL SOB INTO MY HANDS#BECAUSE THIS IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY AND )))): !!!! omg ))):#HE IS SO SWEET . HE MEANS WELL ???? I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU BOTH !!!!! i think i would genuinely burst into#tears thinking about him doing anything for me to :’) ease up some days :’) IM JUST :’) this is so thoughtful and so :’) im so incoherent a#and these tags are so messy — im just so happy and have read this like ten times over !! and go -> 🥹🥹 each and every time#thank you cy !!! ): from the very bottom of my heart!!!! you are such a skilled writer and you have such a kind heart#i saw your post about drabbles for friends and oh — im hugging you so tight — thank you for being so sweet to everyone ): i adore you so mu
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Febuwhump Day 25: Assumed Dead
When all the darkness fades away We had to steal him from his fate So he could see another day
(AKA Trimax AU where Wolfwood got infused with Plant energy when Vash used so much of his power next to his dead body. Took a couple days but he wakes up very confused and very small, because the healing was a bit too potent. Something something giving you the childhood you were robbed of, etc. but being traumatic about it. Good luck getting out of the grave bro.)
#my art#isa don't look#trimax spoilers#trigun maximum spoilers#trigun manga spoilers#febuwhump#febuwhump day 25: Assumed Dead#Isa don't even read these tags here we go#trigun maximum#trimax#nicholas D. Wolfwood#everyone lives AU#crying over these manga scenes again so like....yeah. get resurrected idiot#but comes back a little. different#it's ok Zazie will help him out of the ground KJHSDKJHLFKSD#I meant to WRITE this but art took longer than expected surprise surprise#you look over and a very determined 14 year old in an oversized suit is marching up to December city#nevermind he is no longer super strong or resiliant#the mortifying ordeal of getting help to help others lmao#hope to write it someday#wheeee ok stayed up too late again#goodnight#oh yeah#blood#character death#character UNDEATH#someone get that kid some not ruined clothes that fit please#bsing that light source because there ain't light 6 feet underground ha
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Comment on my 1st chapter: So this is an AU where Jamil isn't breathing down Kalim's neck? I like it!
Me about to make Kalim the one doing that bc he turned into a little bit of a simp in my notes: Uh-
#i just think kalim is that kinda person that it's very intense about his feelings#the simp part is bc he's very unfiltered about it lol#btw yeah i gaved in and actually posted my jamikali fanfic#it's called Resilience if you wanna check it out#yami talks#twst#twisted wonderland#jamikali#kalijami#jamil viper#kalim al asim#fanfiction#scarabia
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Valentines' personality test ! : 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐈
#;valentines test#(<- feel free to block this tag to not see these spammed on ur dash!)#;dash games#dash games#;headcanons#headcanons#;c.onstantine xi#/this one i took the test and the results didnt match him so i scrolled down and found one that fit him more!#PROTECTIVE but never controlling ! his whole thing is about defending; protecting; being the shield; i think that's very fitting for him#ALSO CALM SMILE BUT RAGING STORM WITHIN? 101% fitting#c.onstantine is tenacious; resilient; poetically speaking he is like the sturdiest marble statue you could find in a museum#just because he has a calm and often gentle demeanor doesnt mean that outside on the battlefield he doesnt adopt his position as emperor#a terrifying emperor!! the type that fights with his people and refuses to give in#warm hands..... i can imagine his partner asking to hold his hands and#he would chuckle and take off his gloves so he can properly hold theirhands; and they are warm and gentle#and his hold is so tender !! comforting! it makes you want to keep holding onto him forever#kissing hand;; such a regal behavior- fitting for an emperor!#i think this one is more fitting than m.ori's one; all of the points fit him to a T really#oh c.onstantine......... the man you are..... (biased)#doesnt watch romcoms but; i think he is very romantic in nature
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my various mental issues make liking people so hard because i already put people on a pedestal to begin with if i genuinely like them so i am automatically laying myself at their feet like a dog but then i wrestle with the ego death of seeing that they're just a human being who is capable of being wrong and stupid and annoying me and it kind of makes me sick to my stomach not because i expect people to be perfect but because i know if i had like 5 minutes to sit down and talk to this person i would feel more secure in knowing where they stand on any given thing. but you aren't granted that when you just like some random guy who will never know you because you can't take the feeling of someone who could actually know you. or whatever.
#i like a jewish man who made one vaguely ignorant comment about what's going on Over There and has said nothing on the topic since#he's kind of known for being someone who... likes to look out for the 'little guy' but knowing jews who place too much stake in the concept#of israel and having a place they 'belong' and having fought with people who believe that there are various kinds of zionism and not just#the outright evil one where people assuming their religion gives them the birthright to displace and genocide an entire group of people#and obvious this topic hits way too close to home as a jewish person like i just don't understand how jewish people are okay with it#obviously not all of them are. and thank goodness. because you have to be an idiot to sign off on anything a violent group of white racists#tell you to believe. in MY opinion. but this whole thing has just really hurt me deeply and wounded my willingness to identify with#judaism and my jewishness. which sucks. but obviously it sucks way more for the people who have been consistently and violently slaughtered#it's definitely testing my resilience and nerves and i think to some degree it's part of why i haven't even bothered bringing him up becaus#i'm so sick of giving my fellow white jews the benefit of the doubt about their stance on israel. if you don't see it for what it is by now#you're STUPID!!!!!!!!! and i want to be like. well all he did was say smth back when hamas took hostages and whatever but at the same time#he's a jewish nepo baby with a famous mother so he was obviously raised with no shortage of wealth#and - in knowing that#i also know that ignorance runs rampant in rich families who don't bother to look into issues within their own community. and he's never#had to think about the violence that the people have endured due to a settler colony thinking they own the place. the only things i knew#about israel before last year were that they sucked ass and that their military is well-funded and obligatory. if you have eyes and you're#not in an internet echo chamber at THIS point? you know they don't just suck ass but that they are evil. i knew about the occupation and#constant violence all the way back as a teenager because of tumblr (which is kind of insane ngl) and when i found out i was jewish i had#literally no new feelings about israel whatsoever. the persecution complex some jews have about ppl's hatred for israel makes me insane bc#it's literally just a bunch of losers who moved from their ACTUAL birthplaces into a place they have no business being and acting like they#own it and belong there. i have no idea how people feel welcomed by a place like that simply bc you all have the same ethnicity/religion.#it almost feels like a cult and considering that it takes so much inspo from america i honestly wholeheartedly believe that bc it's exactly#how they operate. anyways. all this to say he's not a perfect guy by any means and he's probably at least a little fucking stupid and#brainrotted bc he's rich. idk what else to say bc i don't wanna show my hand or anything on this like i'm very aware this whole thing is#pointless. but alas... that's most of my life!
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