#he is very lawful stupid

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

Just learnt ‘Findis’ is a combination of ‘Finwë’ and ‘Indis’—

they were that sort of sappy parent.

[sometimeswritingsometimesdying]

i've had a vision of aiden and black magic by little mix and now i'm knee deep in a modern magic au where aiden sells cheesy love potions by being hot (it's a scam)

[dykealloy]

This guy's L to W ratio is a solid 5:1 rn

[samstronomy]

the little freak 💥💥💥

[toodrasticallydumb]

Oh c’mon you knew I had to.

My version of the Barbie mugshot with stricklake because I just COULD NOT get it out of my head:

This is specifically from my Trollhunter!Strickler au solely because of the white streak in Barbara’s hair lol and now that I’ve drawn it I am oh so tempted to have it be an actual scene that happens somewhere along the story…

Little snippet of the would-be scene (it's so long it got away from me, I'm sorry):

*the two are rummaging around in a very much broken into museum to find what may or not be a message from Nomura*

Barbara: Walt...?

Walter: Hm? Yes, love?

Barbara: What's that outside?

Walter, pausing for a second to listen: Oh. That would be the em...the police, my dear.

Barbara: Oh, okay, okay, excuse me, the WHAT.

Walter: ...Em. That is, I- um I suggest you hide the skathe-hrün somewhere, lest the authorities care to investigate further into what exactly it is when they take it from your person.

Barbara: So we're not even avoiding this? You know, getting arrested by the police?

Walter: Mmmm, no, unfortunately. I don't want you using the skathe-hrün (or more specifically its magic) anymore than absolutely necessary for today. You've expended yourself enough as it is.

Barbara: And getting arrested for breaking and entering is not an 'absolute necessity'???

Walter: Not particularly, it would only be a considered a second-degree burglary since it is a museum and not a residential, habitated building; which that sub-type of burglary is a 'wobbler' charge in the state of California, which equates—if it is persecuted as a misdemanor rather than a felony—to merely (at most) a year in county jail—

Barbara: A year?!

Walter: —and 1,000 dollar fine if, that is, we are found guilty by being proven to have harbored the intent to steal something, of which we did not and do not have evident by the fact neither of us pocess any given tools to break or take any item from its case. I assume this is the first time you have been accused of any given crime aside from speeding or any other driving-related violation? Without evidence of a previous criminal record we should be lined up quite well to be merely fined or, if NotEnrique can manage it (if I can bear to call upon endless embarassment and taunting), nothing at all but a slap on the wrist though I doubt we could not accomplish that on our own given our positions in the community as school teacher and doctor respectively.

Barbara: You have wings, Walt.

Walter: And mothman escaping a building with a strangely human-shaped figure in its arms is not at all a cause for alarm to the police who will no doubt be keeping close watch of all exits and entrances which would also draw unneeded attention before we can reach the proper cover of the clouds.

Barbara: *face-palms* Getting arrested. How wonderful. 'Oh, just breaking and entering, officer, not much.'

Walter: It is hardly as terrible as it sounds, really. We can omit the 'breaking' portion since we snuck in through the window without running into any trouble that would damage it. Frankly, we could go the route of claiming guilty to the crime of trespassing according to the Penal Code 602 (California's trespassing law) being that we entered the exhibit past museum hours. On top of which it is far more accurate to what we're doing in actuality, not proper burglary since we have established neither of us had the intent to run off with anything that was not ours. Doing so we would also fare far better than with a so-called 'breaking and entering' offense (such a named law does not actually exist in California, only burglary and trespassing separately but I will clasify it as the burglary law for sake of consistency) in which we would be recieving just a simple fine rather than possible felony charges that could come with a second-degree burglary we may have committed.

Barbara: Not really helping here, Walt.

Walter: Right, apologies-

Barbara: Which, of course, getting arrested is an experience you obviously know about.

Walter: The (pun intended) offense aimed against me is dully noted. However, my dear, the fact I know how the intricacies of the specific laws of California operate does not entail I have been arrested prior to this. That would be Nomura who holds the experience in that particular department.

*pause*

Barbara: Walt. Don't you dare. You stop it right there. Unless you want--

Walt: The police department. Heh. *guilty snort*

Barbara: *sends him the disappointed death glare*

Police: *break through the door* Hands up! On the ground, now!

Walter: *laying down* I hardly find my pun to have been that egregious.

Barbara, already on the floor: Really, Walt? Good puns involve good TIMING too.

Police: Dispatch, we have the two culprits in question now in our custody. *taking a pair of cuffs out* You're coming with us. You have the right to remain silent.

Walter, being actively handcuffed: Well, I suppose then, now would be the less than appropriate time to say this museum has gained quite the em...standing in the Lake family...?

Barbara, being stood up with her arms behind her back: Officers, I have no idea who this man is.

Walter: I never once said I intended to make good puns.

I made this entirely too long but once it started I couldn't really find myself stopping. Whoops. Hope you enjoyed chaotic Walt not caring about being arrested because jail is honestly the least of his problems rn. It would honestly be a break.

[rivilu]

One side effect of the autistic sense of justice for me is going insane over justice and vengeance as concepts in themselves whenever applicable in media.

Which unfortunately means that thinking about justice dragon age for too long (especially with the post inq takes on spirits) makes me want to rip my hair out.

[hearts-hunger]

might burst into tears at work idk

[dolores-slay]

Terfs on Pathologic tumblr, more than once? Literally pass away.

Makes me remember that one patho terf who tried to cross over into disco elysium tumblr and got blocked by I think 99% of accounts that post about DE. An energy every fandom should strive to embody.

[sskk-manifesto]

Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )

[irregularbillcipher]

for anyone curious-- kryptos, esp. post dimension burning, defines his gender as Square and Shape but not really Male or Guy, like that part's whatever to him, that's not the important part of his identity to him. getting to freely call himself a Square and Shape with no pushback is exciting to him because, as his status as a square-born-to-a-square, he was consistently ignored, told he should have been something else-- namely a pentagon, very rarely an equilateral because as tragic as a descent in caste would have been, it would have been more Normal Than This-- and forced into weird arbitrary roles and rotating schools and castes in early childhood before it was finally decided that fine, he was a square, they guessed... but also barely and because he was Barely A Square by the stupid laws of configuration and because the circumstances of his birth were so Strange and his Abnormality was so Apparent, he had to go to school with equilaterals so that only the lower middle class kids were put at risk by his Weirdness, and not the other Much More Valuable Real Squares. so getting to the point where he was one of the only members of his species left and he gets to just go "yeah, i am a square, i'm the only square left, and i get to decide whatever the hell that means now" was meaningful to him, and the guy part is like. whatever. but he is a square

[lovelyisadora]

brb hitting myself in the head with a hammer

[fightbee]

I am filled with dread and loathing towards my fellow Americans today, what the fuck is wrong with you guys

[sukisukidaysook]

[ID: The “Look at my lawyer dawg I’m going to jail” meme, with Phoenix Wright edited under the caption. /End ID]

I started Ace Attorney earlier today and this is what it’s like to me so far

(NO SPOILERZ PLS I’m like just now on trials with Redd White and I’ve been going in 90% blind)

[baby-xemnas]

japanese fics dbdkdkd you're a strong one 😭 I think kidkiller has very little fanfic and most of them prefer bottom Kid instead.

BRUH

[garlic-sauc3]

"matt only defends people if they're innocent because he can tell by their heartbeat if they did it" an essential part of matt's character is that he believes in the law and justice. he believes that everybody has the right to a lawyer, and sticks to that. he defends criminals, murderers, teenagers who did dumb things, etc and he make sure that they have a fair trial. even if he knows that the person he or foggy are defending is bad he will still make sure they have a fair trial (daredevil vol 1 #195, daredevil vol 1 #203) he wants to help people and that is an essential part of his character. even if he knows that the person is guilty and cannot afford a lawyer, he will defend them pro bono (daredevil vol 1 #312). like, it is extremely essential for his character that, as a lawyer, he defends people whether they're guilty or not, which has been true the entire fucking time.