#he is abrasive but not if one looks at his interactions with people who need help

[variousqueerthings]

the THING about a Paul Gross character is that, yes they may be emotionally repressed, but they're emotionally repressed in a way where they put everything before themselves and believe everyone else deserves nice things except for him (whether it be because of flagellation, duty, passion, idealism...) so he's playing some version of a beautiful, soft, and capable man who will do anything for the people around him while undergoing some version of The Horrors that he Will Not Talk About Unless Sufficiently Tortured

peak template honestly

[asidian]

I've seen a lot of talk about how hell affected Edwin's pain tolerance, but not very much breaking down how it seems to have affected the way he manages emotion. So to that end, here we go:

Edwin Payne vs emotions (and how his no good very bad helltime messed with him something awful)

Dead Boy Detectives does a very good job early on of establishing the fact that Edwin is not particularly good with people. He's stilted, he's repressed, and though he can be incredibly kind to the people he cares about, he can also be quite abrasive, particularly to those he doesn't know well.

Time and time again, we see Charles step in to be the face man. Charles is the one to greet the clients, to take note of their names, to set them at ease. Charles is the one to support Crystal emotionally, and his interactions with Edwin seem to imply that he's done the same for Edwin, over the years. Charles has to remind Edwin to mind his bedside manner, and he explains to Crystal that Edwin forgets how to talk to people sometimes, because of how long he spent in hell.

In short, these boys compensate for each other's strengths and weaknesses in a lot of ways, and Charles is very much the one doing the emotional heavy lifting in this partnership.

And there's a reason for that, laid out in the text and subtext all throughout the show, and the narrative handles it brilliantly.

Edwin's actor does a fantastic job in expressing the character's reactions – or rather, lack of them. Because in the most shocking scenes throughout the show, Edwin often doesn't seem as horrified as the others in the face of events that ought to be horrific. In the Devlin house, he seems as though the murders scarcely affect him. When the jumper at the top of the lighthouse throws herself down, he's downright composed in comparison to everyone else.

And Edwin repeatedly shows or expresses that emotion makes him uncomfortable. When Crystal and Charles are fighting in episode five, he requests that they set their feelings aside until the case is finished. At the end of the episode, he says that the day has been entirely too full of emotions for his taste.

So, what is it specifically about emotion that bothers him so much?

In hell, emotion meant an awful, bloody death.

Panicking over potential incoming horrors? Nope, sorry, too loud. Dead again. Having a sobbing breakdown in a corner? Nope, sorry, too loud. Injured and trying to keep it down so it doesn't get worse? Nope, sorry, that's too loud, too.

Again and again, we see Edwin trying to tamp down on his emotions, but also, tellingly, trying to keep his emotions subdued and quiet.

When Charles finds him in hell, he's crying without making a single sound. When Esther starts to torture him in episode eight, he doesn't scream at first. He's trained himself out of making noise when something hurts or frightens him.

Of course he wants to set emotions aside until the case is done. He's spent seventy years learning what happens if you don't. You take care of business first. If, and only if, there's an after? That's when you let yourself feel.

Early on, when Edwin and Charles need to find the correct book but Edwin is unable to access their office due to the Cat King's bracelet, Edwin is upset. He's frustrated and out of sorts, blocked from making progress on the thing he knows he needs to be doing – hurting himself trying to get his arm through the mirror until Charles stops him. It's Charles who has to step in and help him calm down. It's Charles who has to remind him to breathe through what is very likely a panicked throwback to those times when if he could not solve his way out of a problem, it would very literally get him killed. In this scene, we get a brief glimpse of how Edwin looks when he starts to lose his grip on his rigid control.

And that's before we even get to these things:

Because as awful as the doll spider was, it wasn't the only thing skulking around the Doll House. Charles stumbles across misery wraiths when he goes to rescue Edwin from hell – and we know from the Devlin house episode that Edwin is extremely aware of what they do and how they operate. They were in his space, looking for despair to feed off during a time when he had it in spades.

Taken all together? It's an absolutely heartbreaking picture.

This boy seemed a little socially awkward before his death, from what we see of his time before hell. But afterward? He's had seventy long years of having to teach himself to regulate his own emotions, under pain of excruciating torture if he didn't do it well enough.

With an object lesson like that, over and over again, for literal decades, it's no wonder that Edwin has such a hard time navigating emotions and everything surrounding them.

[redstarwriting]

the clash | i. hey, ho! let’s go!

hobie brown x goth!reader

word count: 1.1k

genre: enemies to lovers

warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie

a/n: it’s here 😎 no but fr, i proudly present a new series focusing on hobie brown, loml. i‘m trying to make it gn, so if you spot anything that needs fixing lemme know. i also did include a bit of a description of what you look like, but it’s mainly just to affirm the gothic spider-person look. and if you don’t like it, you can just pretend it isn’t there, my character designer brain just took a hold while explaining lol. enjoy y’all, there’s more where this came from 👀

now reading: i. hey, ho! let’s go!

next chapter: ii. time bomb

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In theory, the two of you should have been great friends. Best friends, even. He’s called Spider-Punk, and you’re called Spider-Goth, this alone made Miguel assume the two of you would get along better than all of the Peters. Unfortunately for Miguel, he was dead wrong. It was fine at first, a good introduction. “Spider-Punk, meet Spider-Goth,” Miguel says, motioning to the two of you. You simultaneously turn your heads towards him, “Don’t call me that.” You look at each other, seemingly sizing each other up after speaking the same words at the same time. In reality, the two of you were checking each other out, but no one needs to know that. “Fine. Hobie, meet (Y/n). (Y/n), meet Hobie,” Miguel says as Peter B. Parker hops next to him, excited to see the two of you interact. Your gaze first fell on his many piercings, which suited him very well. Almost as well as the spikes coming out of the shoulders of his tattered denim vest. “See somethin’ you like?” you hear his thick cockney accent, and you shrug. “The constant changing makes it difficult,” you say, causing him to shrug. “I hate consistency,” he says, staring you up and down. “I like the guitar,” you say, and he nods. “Everyone does.” You raise an eyebrow, and he takes in the way your heavy black eyeliner makes the expression look more exaggerated than it is. His eyes go down, taking in your outfit, which seems to be varying in different gothic styles, but overall is all black with silver studs, spikes, and charms sticking out everywhere. He notices the two of you share a liking for combat boots, and perhaps his favorite thing about you are the intricate and all black spider-web tattoos on your hands crawling their way up your arms. Hobie clicks his tongue. “Goth, eh?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem with you or something?”

“Feisty for a goth.”

“Instigative as all punks are.”

“What… is going on,’ Peter whispers to Miguel who shakes his head. “I thought they would be best friends?” Peter suggests as he places a binky in Mayday’s mouth. “I did too…” Miguel says, “Maybe this is just a way these types of alternative people talk?”

“Tal vez tengas razón… Hobie does love to be abrasive for no reason,” Miguel concludes, and Peter shrugs and they zone in on the two of you again. “...I don’t suppose there’s no reason we shouldn’t get along,” Hobie suggests, raising an eyebrow at you. “I agree. We probably think similar things… for the most part.”

“For the most part, huh?”

“Just that we have similar ideas, but most likely not the same,” you respond, and he crosses his arms, his guitar moving loosely behind his back. “Opinions on anarchy. Go.”

“It’s the ideal society—”

“Good start—”

“But completely unrealistic.”

“Excuse me?” Hobie looks at you with a glowering expression. “Humans are inherently assholes. Selfish, shitty, assholes. As amazing as it would be to have anarchy running rampant,” you shrug, “It’s unlikely it will ever happen.”

“You can’t actually believe that,” Hobie says, exasperated, “I mean you actually think that we can’t achieve it? You get enough people angry, and they rebel, they push for anarchy. I’ve seen it happen; I’ve led a rebellion.” You roll your eyes. “And do you live in a perfect anarchical society now?”

“Not yet, but we’re gettin’ there,” he clenches his teeth, and you sigh. “I admire your blatant idiocy disguised as an ambitious dream,” you say, and he huffs. “Would you just talk like a normal fuckin’ person and stop usin’ these dumbass words and shitty poetic language?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, or are you as deaf as your ideologies?” This time you scoff. “I don’t have the time to be berated by someone who lives in their own delusions to try and feel the slightest bit less angry at the world for giving him the shitty cards he was dealt.”

“And I don’t have time to listen to the rubbish ramblings of a miserable twat who digs desperately into their black hole of a heart to try and feel somethin’ when the truth is they don’t even know what they stand for,” he fires back. You glare at him. He glares at you. As if on cue you both flip each other off before you web away. Peter’s voice cuts through the silence.

“Well, that went horribly!”

Miguel punches him on the shoulder, resulting in a soft ‘ow’ and a tiny angry noise from Mayday. “What the hell was that Hobart?” Miguel nearly yells and Hobie snaps his head towards him. “Don’t call me that, neither! They don’t get it. It’s not enough to want to make a difference in the world. You need to take action. Goths love to sit on the sidelines and lament instead of playing the offensive,” Hobie explains, a deep frown on his face, “Watch out for them. They might not be able to do what it takes when it counts.” Miguel sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Hobie, you’re supposed to show them around—”

“No, fuck that. I’m not goin’ anywhere near that gothic monstrosity,” Hobie says shaking his head in defiance. “We made a deal. You would show all the younger spider—”

“Yeah, well you can shove that deal up your fuckin’ ass, mate, I’m not doin’ shit for them!”

“Okay, okay, calm down there, man. Why don’t you just ask Gwen to help you? Maybe Miles and Pavitr too? That way you fulfill your promise, 'cause I know promises are important to you, and you won’t have to talk to them!” Peter reasons and Hobie looks over at him. He furrows his eyebrows. That would help the situation. And maybe he’d be able to help you see just how garbage your take was with Gwen on his side. “Fine. But I’m not doin’ it cause I need help, and I’m not doin’ it because you told me to. I’m doin’ it cause it’s the last thing that they’d want,” Hobie says, pointing at Peter while saying it, flipping Miguel off, and then webbing away. Peter looks at Miguel who is clenching his fists… and his jaw. “You seem stressed, but don’t worry about it. Not all of us need to like each other, I mean there’s so many there’s no possible way we all could and look at you, you hate Miles even though he’s awesome and—”

“Shut. Up. Peter,” Miguel growls, stalking away while mumbling various things in Spanish. Peter looks down at Mayday. “Tough crowd,” he says as she giggles up at him.

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『 tag list 』

@casmosmoon* @khaleesihavilliard @sparklyphantom​ @weyrrii* 

*if you are italicized - i am unable to tag you for whatever reason, feel free to reach out and see if we can fix the issue

[jungwondazed]

18+ only / emotion heavy sex w heeseung

i think there’s a loneliness hidden deep inside heeseung that is sort of masked with his flirty and bold interactions with fans. he’s charismatic, no question but i like to think there’s some of us who can kind of see through that.

i believe he longs for a love so deep it could heal the innermost parts of him, the parts of his childhood that he couldn’t live out regularly due to the stress of trying to debut. growing up in the spotlight under strict scrutiny and never having the chance to be like any other young adult, leads me to believe that heeseung craves a genuine relationship.

he’s gentle with you, patient. he plays his role of a man well. protective, caring, and nurturing you in the times that you need. when you come to him about personal problems he nods with every sentence you express, he tilts his head at your hurt, and wraps his hand around your fingers, reminding you of his presence. heeseung is anything but abrasive and abrupt, he is the wind blowing through a field that follows you every way.

he loves so hard that it hurts. there is no getting mad at him, he’s never wronged you of any sort. he’s sensitive, more than most guys are. as tough and head strong as he is, when he welcomes someone like you into his life that turns him into a vulnerable man there are softs spots that you must tip toe around because loving him is learning the parts of him that needs healing.

with his emotions set in place, it translates over to how he takes physical affection, and he is a fool for it. heeseung would never casually sleep with anyone, his values and life experiences has shaped him into a guy that can only get off if it’s with someone he desperately loves.

“is this okay?” he asks every single time like this isn’t anything you aren’t used to. you nod, and he continues, his breath staggering when you grind down and he pushes up.

heeseung doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to this overwhelming feeling of love and warmth through genuine and meaningful sex. the way your skin presses on him, the outline of your body in the dark when you ride him, how pretty your face is so up close he could kiss every inch of it. there were days when he was so alone that even if a thousand people showed up at his door the isolation swallowed him whole. with your one body on his, he thanks all his lucky stars that he was patient enough to await for someone like you. the nerves on the pads of his fingers are stimulated by your breasts, how he loves feeling them knowing you gave all yourself to him. his grip on your waist as you fuck yourself is tight, not wanting to ever let you go.

heeseung stares at you like the world gives him a few seconds of more time, his gaze lingering down your face and body like there is no tomorrow. he soaks in the image as if there aren’t plenty of more chances to make love, yet he treats you with speciality each time.

“ah”s and “oh”s fall from his lips, some stuck in his throat when you stroke him with your walls. he feels your love in every way like this, never closing his eyes despite how good it truly feels.

“i love you, ____” he’s the first to say those three words each time, and you kiss them right from his mouth, giving it to him like he needs it.

he fucks like both of your lives depend on this one moment, thrusting up into you when you’re too tired to keep going, showing you how love is supposed to be. that we bear the weight when the other can’t, that there is a pleasure is doing the labor for our partner.

“feels too good hee,” your grip on his shoulder almost hurts but that thought vanishes in seconds when he hits it right where you love it. he keeps his pace at that same spot, listening as you tell him over and over again how good he makes you feel, how you love him so much, drinking your words up.

he presses you tight against his chest when you’re both close, trembling as each passing stroke inches you towards your high. there are moments in life heeseung looks back on that makes him think every hardship he has encountered was worth it. some of them being his first call back, first congratulations from his family, and a performance here and there. but the majority of those moments are all linked to you. memories of how you look when you cum on him flashes through his mind, because there is no closer bond in love than through feeling a moment so intense together: with you struggling to take it, spitting out i love you’s and every word of affirmation there is, he’s delighted that all the sacrifices and tears that he gave, rewarded himself with you. he cums in you deep, almost whining by the time it spills into you. he loves you so much, the feeling of his orgasm and his never ending affection for you is euphoric, you experience it in every part of you. he is raw and tender, making you feel like it was the first time after each one ended.

“i love you so much, ___, i love you, just so you kn-“ and you’re all over him again, not once letting him slip out of you.

[w0rmdahl]

the ring girl — MM

gif ©: magnusedom, mkayoung, ayoedebiris

film: monkey man (2024)

synopsis: tiger's temple never had a ring girl, nor one as straightforward as their first would turn out to be. however, unbeknownst to anyone who'd interacted with her in the workplace, she was no mere ring girl — at least she wouldn't be by the end.

word count: 3.7k

featuring: kid, (oc) ishani, tiger

warnings: (it's monkey man be fr) strong language, misogynistic themes

a/n: pssst! this was originally just an outline for me (similar to 'the beginning' for ilyily) but i wanted to provide backstory b4 i posted anything else for MM! hope you enjoy :)

he remembered the first time he saw her; the black sheep with her head down as she entered the locker room of the arena, a meager woman compared to the grimy crowd of men housed inside. like a lamb in the lions' den — or tiger's temple, perhaps — eyes would begin to collect on the anomaly in the room and people started to further notice the oddities of the situation, including himself as he peeled off the signature monkey mask. without the latex obstructing his view kid could now see the substantial gashes and bruises along her skin, the determination in her eyes as she walked herself right up to his boss, jaw clenching once he'd noticed her.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

"you're tiger, is that right?"

the greasy-haired man sneered. "and who the fuck are you?"

kid would slam his locker shut from his place across the room and, though he was all ready to go and rest for the night, he'd linger around to keep an eye on tiger whilst he spoke with the willful woman peering up at him through narrowed eyes.

"you need a ring girl." she said simply — matter-of-fact. "i need a job. maybe we could work something out."

tiger's face would screw up into a look of disbelief as he glanced around the audience surrounding to see the commotion, a mixed reaction from the crowd bringing his attention back to her. he'd mirror her folded arms and cocked brow before responding half as professional and twice as patronizing, utterly unsuspecting of the girls' smile that would follow.

"we don't need a ring girl."

the dark-haired woman almost chuckled. "course you do; why do you think ring girls exist?"

tiger now actually took a moment to ponder her query — the first, not the second. the second was obvious. but that was exactly why he paused; this random girl off the street was opting to be ogled at in a bad part of town just for a job. who knows, maybe it could even bring in new audience members — but his wildest ideas more focused on the limitations of her willingness. how far would she be willing to go for money?

a cagy smile would curl the boss's bitten lips before he laughed and swiped a misplaced hair behind his ear. "you..." he trailed off and shook the deceit from his thoughts, "you've got yourself a deal, there. come back tomorrow at 4 and we'll talk details."

she'd offer a mere nod before beginning to turn, halted by tiger's voice booming off the tile flooring once more. "wait! what the fuck is your name?" the woman casted her sharp gaze over her shoulder when the pseudonym left her mouth.

"ishani."

tiger would then be abandoned to stew in his suspicion about her as she exited the same way she came, leaving the room to erupt in conversations left utterly unheard by kid who'd exited out the back door as soon as ishani was out of sight. by the time he laid down with his eyes on the ceiling fan, the occurrences of the day wholly left his mind, replaced with the abrasive memories that kept his eyes open until the sun rose. and then, just like every day, he would return to the ring once more to be beaten until the crowd was happy — the only difference being the new ring girl wearing half as many clothes as when he'd last seen her and a smile that didn't convince the monkey man one bit.

the months that followed ishani's arrival took some adjusting to get used to. matches changed, payment changed, tiger changed. at first it was just getting used to a woman being in the building — especially one dressed the way ring girls did. the other men were like starved dogs in overheard conversations that had him keeping a closer eye on them — to the point that he began noticing each and every snide comment that accused of 'not belonging' and weird notes left from a 'secret admirer' on her mirror. it was all tough to stomach even for him so he couldn't begin to imagine how she felt walking home at night.

but then it was the audience that changed. sure, she was booed here and there at the beginning in favor of the actual fighting they'd come to bet on, but after a while she started gaining traction. there were men who'd come only to cheer when she stepped into the ring with that stupid sign, eagerly waiting by the back door until her shift was over to ask for her number or who to bet on next. there was even an incident where a sold-out show for two unpopular fighters was terminated early due to the absence of life in the crowd when ishani wasn't visible, but the important detail to tiger hadn't been the lack of enthusiasm for the actual fight, it was the attention and money he made without the fight.

the locker room became a slaughterhouse by the time tiger started favoring ishani. talks of how 'desirable' she was turned into how pesky she was, perverted smooches turned into arrogant scoffs, and all the while ishani remained totally uninterested in it all. she kept her head down and did what she had to do, which often entailed skimpier outfits than typical or (objectively worse) humoring the sweaty patrons for 900 rupees an hour. either way, she continuously endured the bitter tasks put forth day by day without ever making a fuss until finally, on an evening as regular as any other, she seemed to snap.

it came after an apparently tough day when she walked into the building with her hair tied in a rat's nest at the top of her head and dark circles under her eyes to emphasize the frown creased besides her nostrils. tiger had begun calling out to her as she swung open the door to her personal storage closet and, without uttering a word, slammed the door shut behind her. the peeved man would then look around to see if anyone else had witnessed this variation in her demeanor, naive to the eyes behind the monkey mask watching his every move under a microscope.

she was sour from that point on, the perpetual scornful knitting of her brows evident to anyone who cared to look from the beginning of her shift until the very end. she'd kept her mouth sewn shut the entire day even when tiger called her over before she could change and grab her stuff to leave the vile workplace — even when he'd asked her to 'have a drink' with a customer for another hour — even when said customer spilt his drink down her front. only when kid noticed the grubby hand on her thigh creeping inward did ishani finally release whatever had been caught on her tongue all day, her own drink now being thrown in his face.

"fuck off you worthless pig! keep your dirty dick in your pants and leave me the fuck alone!"

any and all conversations from lingering individuals in the vicinity would cease entirely upon hearing the howl released from the formerly well-mannered ring girl. caught in the sights of her boss and coworker for two entirely different reasons, ishani shot up from her seat to storm off from the man at the table, called after only by tiger as she made her way toward the locker rooms.

"ishani!"

she didn't even glance back at him, continuing her way out of the central arena to leave the bewildered audience behind as she disappeared into the employee-only section of the building. kid would catch himself rushing through any leftover tasks before he could go home with ishani in the forefront of his mind, holding on to the hope that he could run into her before she'd left and offer some sympathy for her day — only to find the locker room entirely empty when he grabbed his bag. with the release of a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, he'd opt instead to simply keep an eye on her tomorrow and make sure she was alright, stepping out the back door with slumped, aching shoulders.

— and then, as he took in a deep breath of the fresh air on the second step, his eyes would be quicker than his mind to notice the figure in his peripheral. by the time he recognized her, ishani's attention was already on him, sitting slumped against the brick wall with a quirked brow at the lanky man on the eroding staircase.

finally, after months of mutual intrigue and accidental eye contact with the other who seemed to be watching when they weren't looking, kid and ishani would interact for the first time with a comfortable breeze between them and hushed voices under the twinkling stars.

"are you okay?" he'd asked sincerely. the wind brushed her hair from her cheeks as she replied, "yeah. all good." and yet, he could've sworn he'd noticed a glum cadence in her words.

"do you want me to call a taxi?"

"it's alright, but thank you." she produced a small smile identical to the other sad grins presented throughout the day. "just waiting for him to go home before i leave."

him — the man at the bar. kid was already leaning on his heel to turn back inside. "i can tell him to leave." he could almost see the rain clouds looming over her head begin to part as her downturned smile grew brighter, unalloyed while her shoulders straightened out.

"i'd appreciate that."

she spoke with the gratitude obvious in her sparkling eyes, and so, with the simple nod of his head, kid would then head back inside to oblige. he'd even go as far as to exit out the front door for his walk home just to make sure the perverse man didn't turn back around, all the while contemplating his limited interactions with the ring girl. unbeknownst to him, this decision would finally grace ishani with the first real smile she'd experienced in a long while, one that remained imprinted all the way home as if to remind herself how to do it.

the days following this incident would proceed as normal if not for the instances when their eyes caught from across the room once more, a different kind of smile on her lips than the one he’d grown used to. it caught him totally off guard the first time and left him utterly unsure of how to react or respond before she was whisked away by tiger to fulfill another duty in the day. however, by the second honest smile kid had become certain this wasn't just a fluke, mustering the courage and the will to push through the throbbing in his jaw as he replicated her grin. it wasn't nearly as genuine or convincing as ishani's, but it was there, and that's all that really mattered in her eyes.

day by day, little by little, kid and ishani's smile-laced glances would grow friendlier and friendlier despite their lack of communication — even getting to the point where others had begun to notice.

"making after work plans, there, kong?" cobra would snicker as he took a step closer to the beast on the other side of the ring.

"stop talking and hit me."

it wasn't until a little over two weeks after they'd spoken that ishani and the monkey man would be in contact with one another again, finding themselves interacting once more due to a complex work situation;

he was waiting against the wall of tiger’s perpetually locked office door when he’d noticed her enter the locker room — practically barging through the greasy guys with hands balled into fists as she walked right past him and up to tiger's office. she'd knock with heavy knuckles against the chipped oil paint and, after a brief pause, the door would swing open to reveal their hasty-looking employer with an astounded and somewhat irritated expression on his face.

"ishani," tiger hummed with condescension weaved in his tone "i don't suppose this could wait."

she stood her ground with a simple "no," replicating his low octave but without the distain present in her vocal cords. kid swore he could still sense it.

“alright,” their boss sighed and pulled the door open further to let her in. “grab a seat.”

before entering ishani would promptly glance over at the bloody man leaned into the wall beside her, a look of what he could only describe as sympathy creasing her features. this puzzling gesture urged him now to respond the only way he could — the only way they did — and earned her a comforting smile as she started to head inside. the minuscule flash of her grin appeared on her lips for only a second before she then disappeared from his view, completely failing to close the door behind her.

the monkey man wasted only a moment on internal debate before deciding to inch closer to the doorway and listen in, back pressed flat to the wall and eyes forward while he overheard their conversation. she must've left the door open for a reason, right?

"it's like i've told you before,” tiger spoke in an annoyed grumble “that isn't how business works, and that isn't how this is going to work — if it did work like that i'd be the richest person in the world tomorrow, but unfortunately company comes before personnel."

"all i'm asking is for you to stick to your word. i don't expect any favors. just respect."

"respect?" he asks with an exasperated thinness, a scoff caught in his throat. "respect you?"

ishani, on the other hand, is surprisingly calm despite her previous demeanor. “would you break a promise with someone you respect?” tiger finally scoffs.

“what promise, ishani? i never promise anything to anyone — especially not the ring girl with a fake name who prances around for money.”

kid can almost hear the smirk in her voice. “the ring girl whose made you an extra few thousand rupees every night? s’that the one you’re talking about? — because if so, that’s even more of a reason to keep your word.”

there is a beat before tigers response that left the eavesdropping man outside to ponder his own theories of what he was doing during this time. maybe he was pushing his tongue in his cheek to keep his big mouth from saying something he shouldn’t. maybe he was brushing his hair behind his ears as the thought of a cool and collected response. maybe —

“i don’t give hand-outs, ishani.”

on the contrary to his mulling, her answer was immediate. “that is such bullshit, man! you rig every match! how am i asking too much when you make me to stay late every night just to laugh at some sweaty guys' jokes? not to mention the other things you beg me to do. and yet i never complain and i never whine — which is why i asked you last week for my pay today. i need that money today, tiger.”

kids brows would furrow upon hearing this new information. he knew tiger did things under the table, of course, everyone did! most matches were rigged and he did ask ishani to sit with some overzealous customer just about every night, however her emphasis on other things caught his full attention, the implications nearly baring his teeth.

"i can't give you your pay tonight. best i can do is friday."

"friday?" ishani repeats, her volume raised higher than before "it's tuesday, tiger — how am i going to eat tonight? how will i wash my clothes tomorrow? what am i supposed to do until friday?"

"honestly, i don't know, but i believe you'll figure it out. now, i have somewhere to be, so i will see you tomorrow." tiger's annoyance is now outwardly apparent in his voice.

"that's it? i should just go fuck myself then?"

"if that's what you wish to call it, sure; go fuck yourself — now get out of my office."

from around the corner kid can hear a chair screeching as its legs skid against the ground before landing with a thud. then, ishani's swift but heavy footsteps, her face beet red as she exited the office in the same manner as she had arrived. and before kid even has the chance to do or say anything, tiger is peeking his head out to see who else had been looming around to speak with him.

"you come to make demands, too?"

make demands. he noted tiger's verbiage before shaking his head.

"all right, let's get this over with."

kid would almost hobble out the back door for a cigarette after his match when he’d noticed ishani already two steps ahead, mid-drag as she looked over to see who'd stumbled into her alone time. of course it was the monkey man — who else? she exhaled the smoke before speaking.

"i always feel sorry for kong. looks painful."

her voice seemed so much softer when directed at him, though maybe that was just the foreignness of them actually speaking to one another. kid took a moment to respond while restraining a wince from the shift in weight as he worked down the second step. “don't feel sorry, kong's 'the beast.'" ishani shifted to face him when he arrived at the third.

"is he, though? or is that just how he's made out to be?"

kid would have to pause once more in order to work through what she was saying — what the true meaning was hidden in the ambiguity — and more importantly what he was going to say back. he’d watch her take another drag with her eyes fixed on him, finally making it down to the final step before deciding to mirror her intentional vagueness. “does it matter by this point?”

the warm twinkle in her eyes ran cold upon hearing this response, now more of a troubled glint as she pulled her gaze from his silhouette trudging to lean against the brick. from her peripheral she could see him fishing for something in his pockets and her own free hand would subconsciously slip into hers, the other bringing the menthol back to her lips. “i think so…” she’d trail off, and for a moment, that was that.

and then he was the one to suddenly speak, his tone barely over a whisper after a long exhale of billowing smoke. “can i ask you something?”

“sure.”

“why’d you leave the door open?”

a deceitful smirk graced her lips as she took another drag in what he assumed was an act to postpone her answer. “because.” ishani hummed lowly, “i didn’t want you to think i was soft.”

this took him aback entirely. of all hypotheses he had conjured up over the last two hours to explain her varying demeanor, this was not one of them, didn't even make the list. kid's adams apple bobbed while he swallowed the hesitance in his vocal cords, her gaze returning to his just in time to catch this quirk.

"i don't."

the warmth in her eyes would return again after these words left his mouth, and though she would only smile in that sincere manner she had revealed all those days ago, it felt as though she wanted to say something; the corners of her lips twitching as her eyes flicked between his. how awfully he wished to hear it — her thoughts on his rare transparency — but ishani would remain utterly silent with the grin on her face fighting to show teeth. kid would grow timid quickly under the pressure of her gaze and silence, unintentionally prodding him to abruptly blurt out what he'd been poring over since the moment he'd left tiger's office.

“do you know ‘kings?’ the elite club in uptown mumbai?”

ishani’s brows furrowed as she shook her head. “no, i don’t think so.”

“well…” he took a breath in an attempt to navigate how to go about this, each explanation coming off worse and worse. he looked off to the skyline. “all the wealthy businessmen go there to pay for girls to laugh at their shitty jokes. if anyone could do it..."

there was a beat before her response that left kid out in the cold for the few milliseconds it took her to find what to say, the anxiety in his chest rising until an entirely unfamiliar sound eased his swirling worries, light and harmonious in the night chirping with crickets. he'd glance back over at ishani to find her restraining the giggles emitting from her throat with her pointer on her lips, eyes now looking back up at him as she smiled.

"you trying to pimp me out?"

her apparent delight would grow along with her grin as she watched his face flush with the unsure and somewhat nervous chuckles falling from his split lips. "that is what it sounds like, huh?" he'd look away to ash the dwindling cigarette between his trembling fingers "just wanna help, is all. promise."

ishani turned towards him even more now, inadvertently catching his full and undivided attention, though she simply pressed the butt of her dead cigarette into the brick. "see?" she spoke sweetly — knowingly as she took half a step toward the back door with a vivid twinkle in her eye, "kong's not as bad as people make him out to be."

and with that, she turned, filter in hand as she monitored him all the way to the back door. with her fingertips grazing the rusted handle ishani would offer one last salute towards the monkey man before finally heading back inside, leaving him alone against the brick to ponder their interactions once more. the absence of her response had his suspicion snowballing on how she'd taken the offer and, with another puff of tobacco, kid found himself accepting her subtle rejection.

— so imagine his shock the next day when he'd exited the kings' kitchen for a breath of fresh air only to find ishani doing the same.

"hey," she'd smile, a familiar glow in her gaze on the dumbfounded man "funny seeing you here."

[illusivedelights]

Call of Neighbors (König & Horangi Neighbors!AU)

Part 1

.....ok this one's really more for me. I just think they're both neat and I like 'em. (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)(⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

They're roommates in this AU! But not in that way y'all. This house is a nightmare LOL.

König

He is either somehow the most unassuming giant of a man or the most unintentionally really awkwardly off-putting guy you're going to meet.

Honestly it's not intentional, he just kind of doesn't know how to act properly/is slightly tone deaf.

He's quiet for odd pauses because he's either trying to practice what he says in his head or he's overthinking it a little.

He honestly hides his social anxiety well if you get him to talk. He'll sound pretty confident when he speaks/can come off a little arrogant (but that's really his way of masking his anxiety. 'If I sound confident enough, they can't tell' mentality.).

It's a hard adjustment and can piss some off, but when you look underneath it, it has sound reasoning and sincerity.

Lot of folks find him either a bit tough to approach or deal because they don't want to go beyond the superficial and he's kind of got a not so good rep, but he's used to it.

Honestly the really old folks are probably the ones who understand him the best/look past all the nonsense. He finds comfort in it and looks after them in his own way.

People always assume the worst in what he's doing, but then they see he's actually just doing normal stuff. It's a bit of a running gag. ("OMG! He's totally getting ready to bury a body!!" Actually he's trying to rake this elderly neighbor's yard because she's in a lot of pain, he just forgot to let her know he was doing it, and also he's a dingus that just makes it look like that).

You're gonna know cause you're gonna see this oaf awkwardly hang around and look like he's trying to do something. (He is trying to approach you, he really just doesn't know how.) He wants to show off to you about all the cool things he knows and can do and will talk to you for what seems like ages. (But it can come off abrasive and strongly opinionated)

It's his way of saying he wants to spend time with you and likes you. (And dear God if you can make it past it, still like him and interact again, he's sold).

Hobbies

Housekeeping (Ok hear me out, he's a pretty clumsily dressed guy and joined the military at stupid young teen age; but I think people would complain and once he moved out, he was like oh.)

Cooking (He's not really happy with the quality of food/lack of food he wants, so he has a "Well I'll make it myself then"/"They can't make it like home")

Antique/ Item Hunting (He likes trying to find things that remind him of home or his childhood or fits a specific niche he enjoys).

Community Service (mostly helping the neighborhood. He likes keeping it nice and safe.......in more ways than one)

Competitive Games (He's kinda garbo though, but trying to get better. But he can't help but get competitive regardless. Heskindaasoreloserthough.)

General Perception

That One Creepy Big Guy Who Doesn't Talk a Whole Lot.

Big Guy

Terminator

Lovely Young Man/Strapping Lad (by the elderly folks he helps)

Horangi

Neighborhood's local really aggressive Korean man. He's not even angry most times, he just talks like that.

He just doesn't like wasting time, and in his mind time is precious for everyone so he just doesn't mince words and just wants to get to the point. ("Tell me what I need to do to fix it and I'll do it.")

This behavior can be misinterpreted, so people assume he's just being insufferable.

I think he's actually really popular with cranky old men because he can keep up with them, throw it back easily and they don't take any offense to it. Do not approach if they're all shooting the shit, the conversation is indeed insufferable. (Good men but Jesus, they can complain).

Didn't want to bother with the pain of fronting the cost of living fully by himself , so he approached König about it because honestly König isn't too much of a hassle to him.

Left to his own devices, he's doing side gigs a lot, so he's in and out a lot of times.

He is a good character foil to König being the way he is and they bring out very honest facets of one another by accident. If you wanna speed run seeing their personality, just hang out with the two of them.

People jokingly wonder if he's a K-Pop idol because he often wears his sunglasses and a face mask. (It actually kind of annoys him because he's trying to keep a low profile and it's also been said mockingly to him too many times.)

Despite not being home a lot, he's actually really tidy and a neat freak. He will get slightly exasperated by uncleanliness or if certain things aren't the way he wants it.

You'll know with him because you make him pause. He's pretty much snappy with everything, so if you actually make him go quiet and think, you got him hooked. This man's tone and actions will be a bit more.....deliberate in between his usual self.

He is actually surprisingly clingy but in the way of "I want to be around you a lot during my few free moments, even if it's not doing anything productive" You make him actually want to waste time.

Hobbies

Cars (I feel like he has a light fascination with cars and mechanics of it, probably a 'I don't have this so it's fascinating' note. He wouldn't want to own one, but he has appreciation for sports cars)

Boxing/Sparring (A way to get out some aggression at times and solitary so he doesn't have to worry about most things. Probably a meditative act)

Cleaning (Probably a habit of covering his tracks, and is just oddly really good at it)

Side Gigs (they're mostly legal, trying to stay on the up and up, old money making day habits die hard, he's the guy who knows a guy from these things)

General Perception

That One Angry Korean Prick

Loud Guy

Angry Idol

Mr. Sensitive (sarcasm)

Bonus: The Roommates' Dynamic

Obviously this one's a bit special because they share space. So, extra HC time!

At a surface level, you'll think they probably actually hate each other because of how aggressive they talk and seem to butt heads.

But in reality, it's just two really nitpicky and straightforward people bantering. Plus working in the line of field they do, they're just both solution oriented and way too comfortable using coarse language with each other. ("Why the HELL is your shit laying around on the floor?" "I literally just put it down, I'm cleaning the tabletops?" "YOU DON'T THROW IT ON THE GROUND." "IT WASN'T THROWN." etc.)

Despite how they are, nothing's ever done in genuine mean spirit. They're just honestly two guys who are bad at talking in different ways but they mean well ......in their own way.

König is definitely more of a homebody and the common areas are more of his style of decorating. They actually have somewhat similar tastes so it works out, but if you look closely you'll see bits of Horangi's flare. ("I'm hardly around. Decorate how you want.")

They're particular about cleanliness in their own different ways, so they clash.

Both are living in a place with no family/have no family, so they're each other's emergency contacts.

It's definitely more of a roommate/coworker you live with situation. They don't actually have many hobbies they share.

They kind of keep each other in check honestly.

OK I FEEL THAT'S ENOUGH FOR THIS POST. IF ANYONE ELSE WANNA KNOW MORE JUST IDK. ASK. OR ILL POST ANOTHER LATER.

[kacievvbbbb]

While I’m sure he will because obviously (and I low key want him too because I’m tired of powerscalers)

I think it would make a lot of sense (and be super impressive) if Mihawk doesn’t have conquerors Haki.

He just doesn’t display any domineering attitudes at all, nothing about him screams desire or need to impose his will on anyone.

Like I don’t think it’s a coincidence that everyone we’ve seen use conquerors are either high ranking members of extremely large crews/territories in which they are constantly enforcing their will on their crew or they have such a fierce need to protect something they turn that will on the world. It’s not lost on me that the first time we see Luffy unconsciously use Conquerors it’s in a bid to save ace.

Mihawk neither has nor wants a large crew and there’s nothing he particularly wants to protect. Even his title I’d wager isn’t something he wants to “protect” giving his desperate want of stronger opponents.

Hell I’d argue that he didn’t have a “Will” till he met Zoro and wanted him to inherit it. I think that’s apart of what makes the whole interaction so surprising to him.

Also I think ghat regardless who they are or their general disposition people are drawn to people with Conqueror’s Haki and CH users are drawn to leadership.

Hell even Zoro who of the confirmed users has the closest personality to Mihawk especially before finding the crew. Had Johnny and Yasuke (I’ll never forget you too ✊) who looked to him as an older brother figure. Also I’ll just say that Zoro is more aggressive than Mihawk generally, he does intend to scare people a lot. And Despite his abrasiveness people can’t help being drawn to him just like Luffy (albeit in a lesser way). And Mihawk just doesn’t have that.

But You know who does? Buggy!

People just can’t help but be drawn to the clown they can’t help but make him their captain, they so readily believe his bolstering even though he doesn’t have much to back it up with. Hell even Mihawk and Crocodile have fallen under his spell it’s like they’ve forgotten (especially Mihawk) that they don’t actually have to go along with his bullshit. I wouldn’t be suprised if Buggy had CoH. We’ve already seen him become less of a coward by declaring what he really wants. He has a larger than life dream and The people love Buggy and Buggy for as mush as he hides it loves the people. He’s been too much of a coward so far to unleash it but All he needs is to actually make a stand for the sake of his crew and I wouldn’t be surprised if he unlocked Conquerors (that would have everyone that knows him fucking gaggged my god)

Anyway back to my point By no definition of the word can Mihawk be classified as a “leader” and I wouldn’t classify him as a “conqueror”. And so I think it would make so much sense for his character not to have the Haki of one. But what I do think would be cool is if he’s like an absence for conquerors haki. Like it just doesn’t work on him not because he has a stronger will but because he has no “will” he is the absence of will and so therefore cannot make others bend or be made to bend. He simply is.

[ddostoyevskyy]

↭ 𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐈𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄...

❝a person who is attracted, whether it be sexually, romantically, or otherwise, to intelligence or intelligent people rather than to the physical appearance...❞

↭feat. Diluc Ragnvindr, Kamisato Ayato, Kaedahara Kazuha, Albedo, Al'haitam, Tighnari, Kaveh.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞... I already saw someone doing this with SAPIOSEXUAL. And, I thought I’ll do it with Sapiophile, instead. EMOTIONALLY, POLITICALLY, POETICALLY, ACADEMICALLY Intelligence. And, I’ve already put the four men (Albedo, Al’haitam, Tighnari, Kaveh) all in one, so, I hope you won’t get confused.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬... Nothing much. Just these men being attracted to a person with brilliant mind and soul.

MASTERLIST.

Request open!

✗↭... 𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐑, 𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂; The Darknight Hero.

For someone who is strong needs someone who is smart.

Although, Diluc is also a smart man, I think, he needs someone who is emotionally smart. Someone who can understand and emphatize with his hidden feelings because I don’t think he’s a person whose quick to attached to someone.

Since, Diluc is rather an opposite to his burning vision, he’s outmost personality is intimidating and cold. Most of the time, I always see him as someone whose having a hard time dealing with his own emotions.

At times, he’s really just hard to read and oblivious at some point, yet his body language seems to disagree with this words.

If you knew him well enough just by looking at him, and he trust you enough to show what he really feels, he respect your judgments and what your perspectives in some sort of situation where, maybe, he’s being to insensitive, he’s being to ignorant or abrasive — but, he’s never arrogant.

Being emotionally smart is equivalent to being emotional too (I’m emotional, yes). So, when it comes to arguments with him, he’s actually careful with which words he’ll be going to use — he’s actually concern when you’ll avert your eyes away from him whenever an argument is starting to get heated. He’s aware enough to hold your hand whenever you’re getting emotional — or when you look like you’re about to cry.

And having a partner whose emotionally intellectual is surely what he craves for.

✗↭... 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎, 𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐓𝐎; The Yashiro Commisioner.

He’s a menace in society.

Politically smart is not only talking about the politics itself — it is also discussing about how an individual will handle such leaderships — which Ayato executed perfectly. A partner who is such a great leader and has a strong beliefs and ethics in able to reach their designated goals in life is what attract him the most.

Moving on, I think, Ayato will be attracted to someone whose politically smart.

A person whose enable to strive with their own talents and can argue politically and financially and a selfless leader is his ideal. Although, he want someone loyal — as long as his partner is loyal to the public and honest is what he desire of.

And, having someone politically smart as his partner — that just mean you’re always with him in social gatherings.

He always watch how you interact with people whose trying to negotiate and interact with the Yashiro Commissioner himself. Although, he’s not meeting or conversing with people if they are not approved by you — he’s always wary with people, so having you is an advantage for his position and for his safety.

Although, when the same thing happens to you, he’s there to protect you when the time comes. You’ve been awfully smart around his own business, practically helping him out on his own paperworks and now, it’s his time to prevent your reputation to be ruined from something that is a false accuse.

He’s a menace in society, so he want his partner to be someone like him too.

✗↭... 𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀, 𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐇𝐀; Scarlet Leaves Pursue Wild Waves.

This pretty boy. I love him. He’s attracted to someone with brilliant mind. And, when I say brilliant mind; those who see something or the world more deeper. Basically, someone who likes to double meaning. Kidding aside, Kazuha is one poetic man. And, someone who view the world and everything like how he sees it is what he admire the most. Having the same perspectives in life with a person you’re attracted to is ideally. He’s a passionate lover, and he’s more open about his emotions unlike, Diluc. So, I don’t think, Kazuha still needs someone emotionally smart — maybe, someone whose wide with vocabulary and loves to express their emotions and thought like a poet is what he’ll love the most. He would love a partner whose carefree and loves to travel just like him. Discovering more and more to the world while you’re spending time with each other is very ideal too. While you’re out there telling him how was your day and what happened after a long day without seeing him with using foreign words or you’re literally acting like you’re in a theatre stage; all expression and with a smile on your face, he will silently listen while holding a pen and paper; jotting down some of your words of wisdom in his pocket notebook, so he can reread it again and again. He’s calm as a breeze, and having someone with wise words that would swoon him over like the calm waves in his roaring seas is what he desire the most.

✗↭... 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐎; Kreideprinz, The Chalk Prince. 𝐀𝐋’𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌; The Acting Grand Sage. 𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈; The Avidya Forest Watcher. 𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇; The Renowned Sumeru Architect.

These men are SMART, SMART. They have the certain knowledge with how things works, especially in the medicine and architectural field. Although, Kaveh’s prototypes amd sketches is a little too weird, yet too modernized in the literal world. They don’t seek for common sense, rather they seek for more knowledge that will gain them for their own or their daily lives. They will want to have a partner who will help them strive for their future (although, Kaveh and Al’haitham is already graduated, Albedo is literally a walking chemistry, and Tighnari is a master on his own field), they will eventually learn from someone whose academically smart. For Al’haitham, he’s got a little care for the world — always has his eyes on his book. But, when he found your own book which you carry around — he found way too many sticky notepads and doodles which he found way too messy (but, he’s a mess himself), although he found those sticky notes really useable in a some sort of a way — he started to be more eager to know about you and how you seek for knowledge by just reading a book. Although, he, too, loves to read. He found comfort in your book which has those sticky notes plastered in every pages. Albedo — oh, he’s one hard opponent when it comes to science and he loves to sketch! So, imagine him having a partner who loves science too — but with anatomy. He saw one of your sketches in his laboratory — left unattended and open which is quite rare for you to do — you always has your sketchbook as close as possible, because your sketches is quite... sketchy for other people. When he found out what your sketchbook really contains, he’s flabbergasted at first. Seeing muscles, bones, cells, skins, female and male anatomy — and, oh, what is that? Is that his arms...? With his gloves? He found your sketches rather strange.... although, it was quite a very detailed drawings, he can’t help, but to be fascinated rather than creep out. And, he admired you more than before. For Kaveh to be such a burnout architecture with an engineer partner is a quite interesting pair. Imagine, both of you pulling an all nighters just to finish a single design which will be rejected later. Kaveh loves to watch you sketch, completely forgetting about his own work when you are currently sitting by his side, eyes glued to the work that is due the next day. You still look amazing, despite not sleeping for days and he envy that (although, he himself is a beautiful man). He admire the way your fingers graze across the canvas and how the sound of the pencil scratching on the paper reaching his ears. Often time, you would help him with his work, making sure that his work will surely be approved by the engineers (which is you, yourself) and he admire how you pointed out such mistakes on his own canvas. But, the only mistake he ever did is not listening to you and just staring at you the whole time you tried to explain some possible changes on his work. Tighnari is a very intelligent man. He’s very wise with his words. He’s very logical, especially with plants and a promising physician (whennnnn will it be my turn to be oneeeeeee). So, having someone in the same field of work will be a challenge for him. Someone better than him? You knew so much about medicines and herbal methods which he has yet to conquer. Although, it fascinates him how you work within the field and the forest, despite always being stuck in your own work room — you always find yourself being treated by him, despite being an own doctor, yourself. Are you purposely getting yourself hurt, so you can slide through his office and get treated? Although, he doesn’t mind. As long as you will tell him some of your medicine secrets and knowledge, it doesn’t matter! At the end of the day, all of that information vanished — only left by your lingering scent on his office that had his tail wagging and cheeks flushed.

Disclaimer; This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All Rights Reserved 2023 ©ddostoyevskyy. Do not repost without permission or plagiarized.

[bloody-bee-tea]

More than friends

It’s unusual, to have a new student transfer to a school in the middle of the last year of highschool, so of course the new guy is the talk at school for a week before he actually shows up. And there’s a lot of talk; some people believe he’s a delinquent, who got kicked out of his home and has to start over, others think it’s just because one of his parents had to move for their job and then there’s everything in between as well. The rumour mill is running rampant.

Satoru tries not to listen too much to anything because he knows how rumours work, he has been the target of them more than once and there are still some floating around, even though he’s been at the school for years. He’ll see the new guy when he actually arrives and then Satoru can ignore him, like he ignores everyone else in this school.

It won’t change his daily routine at all.

When the day finally comes, the new guy catches Satoru’s eyes immediately, but of course he’s not the only one. For that new guy is simply too hot. He has an attractive face and the long hair and pierced ears make him just enough of a bad boy to attract almost everyone. And as if that wasn’t enough he’s apparently also too nice, from what Satoru can gather through gossip from his classmates.

He’s not trying to listen in but it’s kind of hard not to when it seems that Geto is all his classmates talk about these days. Everyone seems to have something to say about him, and Satoru wonders how the guy even finds time to talk to all of them.

Satoru himself doesn’t try to talk to Geto. He’s curious, that much is true, but Satoru is kind of a prominent guy in their school and he doesn’t feel like having his every interaction with Geto scrutinised, thank you very much.

Besides, if he goes to talk to him, people will flock to Satoru again, to hear what Geto had to say and Satoru couldn’t care less for that. Not after he finally managed to get it into everyone’s head that he’s an abrasive asshole, who doesn’t care for a single person in this school.

So he continues to watch and he continues to listen and it’s all good and fine until three weeks in when Geto sits down at Satoru’s table.

“Hi,” he says and Satoru wasn’t quite prepared for how softly he speaks.

It’s catching him off guard enough that he simply stares at Geto for a long moment and he only realises it when Geto’s mouth curls into an amused smile.

“Why are you here?” Satoru hears himself asking, ruder than he even normally is and Geto tilts his head in consideration.

“You look–” Hot, stunning, beautiful, Satoru fills in bitterly, because it’s nothing he hasn’t heard before. “–lonely,” Geto finally finishes and it’s surprising enough that it makes Satoru blink mutely at him.

It’s not even untrue, if Satoru is being honest. His table is empty, like it always is since he managed to get rid of his brainless fanclub for good but it never bothered him that he was spending every break on his own, at least not actively. At least until right now, when this stranger points it out to him.

Satoru doesn’t like to think too much about how his school life makes him feel because that is a can of worms he really doesn’t need to open right now. Or any day, really. It’ll be over soon enough anyway and then he can get away to college and maybe there he’ll find people who won’t cower when faced with his name, his family, his money. 

Maybe there he’ll be able to make real friends.

“I’m not, though,” he eventually manages to get out and something like relief passes over Geto’s face, though he doesn’t really lose the frown. 

“That’s good then,” he still softly says, his eyes turning into crescent moons with his smile. “I’m Suguru.”

“Satoru,” Satoru gives back on autopilot and he has just enough time to appreciate Suguru’s smile before he gets up and steps away from the table.

“I’ll see you around,” he says with a wave of his hand and is gone before Satoru manages to form another word.

Which might be just as well, actually, because the only thing that would have made it past Satoru’s lips would have been a confused “Huh?”.

He hears a lot of things at school and while he usually is not actively listening for gossip, he has absorbed every fact about Suguru that he could get his hands on and one thing Satoru came to learn is that he doesn’t allow anyone to call him by his given name.

Suguru insists on Geto with everyone. Except Satoru, it would seem.

By the time Satoru has his composure back, Suguru is long gone and the break is over. Satoru doesn’t see Suguru for the rest of the day after that and he isn’t sure if he’s grateful for it or not.

~*~*~

Three days later Satoru is alone during lunch again–he escaped to the roof to evade the eyes always following him from his classmates–and Suguru comes to find him once more.

Two is not yet quite a pattern and yet Satoru finds himself thinking that being alone might actually have its perks if it means it brings Suguru to his side.

Still, because Satoru is Satoru and his experience at school so far has taught him to be careful he can’t help but to bite out an unfriendly “What do you want?”

Suguru looks quizzically at him as he sits down on the ground, right next to Satoru.

“Do I have to want something?”

“Everyone wants something from me,” Satoru bitterly says and refuses to squirm under Suguru’s stare.

“Like what?”

“Like–” Satoru waves his hand and Suguru raises an eyebrow at him.

“Yes?” he prompts Satoru again and Satoru glares at him.

“Shut up,” he hisses but when Suguru’s mouth only curls into an amused smile, he sighs. “They want money, or a connection to my family or simply to get into my pants,” Satoru counts off.

It would stand to reason that people could be decent, or at least be polite, but Satoru has learned that none of these things apply when it comes to him. People have outright asked him for money, claiming he had enough, have pretended to be friendly only to be able to say that they were mingling with the Gojo’s and Satoru has shoved more people off his lap and slapped more wandering hands away than he cares to count.

“So, which one are you?” he asks when Suguru only continues to stare at him, and Satoru is certain that Suguru will fall into one of the three categories.

Maybe not immediately, but he’ll show his true colours sooner or later.

“I actually just wanted to know which Digimon is your favourite and why,” Suguru eventually smoothly says and gives Satoru a bright grin.

Satoru blinks at him.

“How do you even–”

“That’s a digivice, right?” he asks and points at the charm dangling from Satoru’s phone. “My little sisters are into it, but I never paid enough attention to know anything substantial about it. Should have though, could have started a conversation with you much easier that way.”

“You–want to talk to me,” Satoru slowly says, because that surely is a first.

“Yeah, I just said that, didn’t I?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Satoru briefly grinds his teeth together; this boy is infuriating.

“Why do you want to talk to me? What’s your motive?”

“To get to know you? Listen, Satoru, I don’t know what you think I’m up to but I’m just trying to talk to you and maybe be your friend. That’s all.”

“Right,” Satoru mutters, because surely that’s not all. Surely there will be a hidden motive in the end and if Satoru allows Suguru close then he’ll be the one being disappointed. Yet again.

“So, tell me about your favourite digimon,” Suguru says and briefly bumps their shoulders together.

“You’re kind of annoying, you know that?” Satoru asks and rolls his eyes when Suguru only smirks at him. “And an asshole.”

“Takes one to know one, huh?” he gives back, but he continues to look at Satoru with the same steady expectation in his eyes and in the end Satoru caves.

Suguru wants to talk about Digimon? Fine. Satoru will talk his ear off and then Suguru will leave of his own accord. Suguru definitely isn’t the only one who can be annoying.

“Okay, fine,” Satoru finally relents and then launches into what usually is a monologue.

Suguru doesn’t let him though, because he asks question after question, derailing Satoru more than once, clearly not bored or annoyed at all and neither of them react when the bell signals the end of their break.

It’s the first time Satoru misses a class because he’d rather spend more time with someone else.

~*~*~

Satoru impatiently taps his finger against his thigh. Their break has started three minutes ago and Suguru is not there yet. It’s unusual—Suguru is always on time, always there to spend their break together and for him to miss it—it’s strange.

Something bitter twists in Satoru’s chest as he wonders if Suguru finally had enough of him, if he finally wised up and realised that Satoru is not fun to spend time with, if the talk of the other students finally got to Suguru.

Only one way to find out, Satoru thinks as he presses his lips together and gets up, his lunch forgotten on the ground. He’ll go and see what Suguru is doing and then he’ll know once and for all what Suguru’s deal is.

He checks the cafeteria first, but can’t find Suguru’s signature bun or hear his soft voice so he quickly leaves again, before anyone notices him. Next stop is Suguru’s class, but the room is empty and so Satoru only spares it a passing glance as he walks past it. He’s not about to barge into the bathroom, only to look for Suguru but that leaves him without options.

Satoru aimlessly walks through the corridor and his steps only gain purpose when he hears Suguru’s voice float to him. He follows it to the teacher’s room and a quick glance inside confirms that Suguru is in there, talking to one of his teachers.

Neither of them look really happy and Satoru wonders what’s going on. Wonders if Suguru will tell him once he gets out.

It takes another few minutes for them to wrap up their talk and Satoru spots the bitter twist of Suguru’s mouth when he walks away from his teacher but as soon as he spots Satoru his face softens into a smile.

“Satoru, hey,” he greets him and he seems genuinely happy to see Satoru.

That certainly is a first for Satoru.

“Why do you look so—happy? You were upset just a moment ago,” Satoru says because he can never just shut up but he thinks it might not be too bad because Suguru laughs.

“You’re here, of course I’m happy. I’m always happy when you’re around,” Suguru honestly gives back and before Satoru can snap at him to hide his embarrassment, Suguru goes on. “And besides. It’s the first time you came to look for me. That’s a huge step for our friendship,” he boldly declares and Satoru frowns when he realises that it’s true.

Usually it’s always Suguru who comes to find him.

“Shut up,” Satoru grumbles but even that only makes Suguru smile. “Is everything okay?” Satoru then asks with a nod towards the teacher’s room and immediately, Suguru’s face falls.

“It’s nothing,” he tries to wave Satoru off and Satoru is not about to force an answer out of him in the hallway so instead of arguing he takes Suguru’s sleeve and drags him off to the roof.

It’s only when they are seated, that Satoru speaks again.

“What’s going on?” he demands to know, and he doesn’t even care that he comes off as pushy.

Something’s going on, something that warrants talks to teachers and makes an unhappy frown appear on Suguru’ face and Satoru finds that he doesn’t like it.

That in itself is a first, because Satoru has never cared before if his fellow students were struggling but what really floors him is the fact that he finds himself thinking that no matter what, he wants to help however he can.

He just hopes Suguru will let him.

“It’s all good,” Suguru says again and Satoru doesn’t even try to hide how much those words hurt. “Satoru,” Suguru sighs out, clearly noticing and Satoru pouts at him.

“You just said we’re friends. Don’t friends talk to each other? At least to vent? That’s how it’s supposed to work, right?”

“Wow,” Suguru breathes out and then laughs briefly. “Considering that this is your first real friendship, you certainly have the guilt-tripping down.”

“Is it working, though?” Satoru asks, not even apologizing for it, because it is what he’s doing.

“It is,” Suguru tells him while rolling his eyes. “It’s nothing serious, though. I’ve just flunked the last test and my teacher was concerned.”

“What happened?”

It’s unusual for Suguru to fail a test, Satoru knows that. Suguru is smart, smart enough to finally give Satoru a challenge for top student at this school and so this is indeed worrying.

“I just—” Suguru lets out a harsh breath. “I didn’t have time to study. Mom’s workplace cut her hours and I had to pick up a few more at my job. That’s all.”

“You’re working on top of school?” Satoru asks and he can’t even fathom that.

Not that he ever had to—or ever will, with the money his family has.

“I kinda have to,” Suguru says with a shrug. “My sisters have to eat and there’s rent to pay.”

Satoru looks down at his own lunch, and then looks at Suguru’s empty hands.

“You don’t eat?” he wants to know and watches Suguru curl his hands into fists before he forcefully relaxes them.

“I eat dinner.”

That’s unacceptable. That’s absolutely unacceptable, Satoru thinks and shoves his lunch at Suguru without really giving it a thought.

“What are you doing?” Suguru asks, pushing the lunch back towards Satoru.

“Sharing my lunch with you,” Satoru immediately says and lets go of his box, forcing Suguru to catch it.

Suguru blinks down at it, before he drags his eyes back to Satoru.

“You don’t have to. It’s fine. It’ll work out.”

“Yes, it will, because I’ll bring lunch for you, too,” he immediately decides.

He’ll just tell the cook to make enough for two. Or maybe even four, so that Suguru can take something back home for his sisters. Yeah, that sounds better, Satoru thinks and smiles at Suguru.

“And your sisters. Anything they are allergic to?”

“Satoru,” Suguru wearily says. “You don’t have to. I’m not asking that of you.”

He seems worried about something and it takes Satoru a moment to realise what’s going on.

“You’re not—of course you’re not asking that of me,” he rushes to reassure Suguru. “You’re not asking me for anything, it’s not like that. I’m offering. And it’s not even as if you’re asking me for money, right? It’s not like—quit your worrying, you’re not like the others.”

He remembers telling Suguru that people have asked Satoru for money in the past and of course Suguru would make sure to never ever do something like that, because that’s just how Suguru is.

“We’re friends, right?” Satoru dares to ask, because Suguru himself just talked about their friendship a few minutes ago and if they are friends, then Satoru certainly can do this for him.

“We are, Satoru, of course we are.”

“Then accept that I’ll bring lunch for you and your sisters, too. It’s not a big deal, especially not if it helps you.”

It’s the first time in his life that Satoru offers to do something for someone else, that he feels the need to do something for someone else and he is happy that it’s for Suguru.

Suguru only deserves the best and if Satoru can help with something like this, then he’ll happily do so.

“I mean, I can also pay for some expenses?” Satoru then offers and before the sentence completely leaves his mouth, Suguru slaps a hand over his mouth.

“Shut the fuck up, Satoru, do not ever offer me that again,” he hisses, clearly angry. “I’m not about to take your money!”

“I would happily pay, though,” Satoru mutters from behind Suguru’s hand who vehemently shakes his head.

“I don’t care, I’m not asking you for that!”

Satoru rolls his eyes and then licks Suguru’s palm when he still doesn’t remove his hand.

“Bah, you child!” Suguru complaints and Satoru sticks his tongue out at him.

“You’re not asking, Suguru, I’m offering. There’s a difference.”

“There’s not,” Suguru mutters and flicks Satoru’s forehead. “I’m not asking you for money. I’m not like that.”

Satoru makes an indignant noise as he rubs the stinging spot but he can’t find it in him to be mad at him. It’s kind of reassuring to know that Suguru would never ask for that.

“I know that,” Satoru softly gives back. “That’s why I’m offering.”

“I’m still refusing,” Suguru replies but he nudges his knee against Satoru’s thigh. “Thank you, though.”

“But you’ll accept lunch, right?” Satoru wants to know and Suguru heaves out a big sigh.

“Yes, Satoru, I’ll accept lunch. And before you ask, for me and my sisters. They are not allergic to anything and there’s hardly anything they don’t eat.”

“Alright,” Satoru happily says and points at his lunch, still in Suguru’s hand. “Then eat up now. I’ll bring something starting tomorrow.”

He says it with a smile, happy to do something for Suguru and not even Suguru’s searching gaze can dampen Satoru’s mood.

“Thank you,” Suguru eventually says again as he drops his head on Satoru’s shoulder. “Really, Satoru. Thank you.”

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s fine, stop saying that,” Satoru whines out, aware that his cheeks are bright red and he didn’t know that being thanked like that could make him feel like this.

Or maybe that’s just Suguru, who knows.

“You’re a good friend,” Suguru still mutters before he takes a bite of their shared lunch.

It’s nice to hear it, because this is the first time Satoru ever had a friend and to know that he’s doing well is reassuring him in ways he didn’t even know he needed.

“Only for you,” Satoru admits and before he can say something else that’s much to embarrassing to speak out loud he also stuffs his mouth with food.

They spend the rest of their break in silence but even that is good.

Everything with Suguru is good.

~*~*~

Satoru has his head pillowed in Suguru’s lap, Suguru’s fingers lazily carding through his hair when he speaks up without thinking too hard about it.

“Why did you talk to me that very first time?” Satoru asks and Suguru’s fingers falters for the briefest moment before he resumes his movements.

“You looked lonely,” Suguru finally admits and smiles down at Satoru. “I just thought you shouldn’t be.”

Satoru bites his lip, but he still blurts his next thought out.

“So it’s not because you wanted to get into my pants?”

Satoru isn’t even sure why he asks, he just knows that he needs an answer because he can’t keep on with those feelings in his chest and the fluttering of his heart whenever Suguru smiles at him.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself when Suguru chuckles, never once ceasing his steady motion of his fingers through Satoru’s hair.

“I’ve always wanted to get into your pants,” Suguru freely admits and Satoru doesn’t know what to do with these unknown feelings in his chest, squeezing his heart tightly.

“Wanted? Past tense?” he dares to ask as he blinks up at Suguru and he wasn’t prepared for the fond look on Suguru’s face.

“Want. Present tense,” he gently corrects him but that only makes Satoru frown.

“But you never did anything! Even now. You never do something.”

“Silly,” Suguru softly chides him. “You said there are only three reasons for people to approach you, remember?”

“My family, my money and—” Satoru trails off when realisation hits him. “You so vehemently refused my money even though you need it and I offered so of course you wouldn’t ever try to get into my pants.”

That’s just not how Suguru is, Satoru knows that. The money he really needed—still needs, if they are being honest—and even that Suguru refused. There is no way in hell he would try to get into Satoru’s pants if he fears that it could send the wrong message.

“I’ve been trying to get you to want to get into my pants,” Suguru admits with a little huff. “I’m not sure I’ve been very successful, though, not if we need to have this conversation.”

“I’m in love with you,” Satoru blurts out, suddenly painfully aware of that and unable to hold that in for a second longer. “I don’t just want to get into your pants.”

“If you’re going to say something cheesy, like you also want to get into my heart, then rest assured, you are,” Suguru reassuringly says before Satoru can even find the words to say it out loud. “You have been, Satoru, which is why I’m so scared of fucking this up.”

“It’s why you were so angry when I offered you money,” Satoru whispers in understanding.

“I never want you to think that I’m in it for that. Or any of the other reasons you mentioned before,” Suguru admits and Satoru laughs, bright and happy.

“Suguru, you sat through countless hours of me ranting about the most useless shit. There’s not a chance in hell I think you’re just in it for any of those three reasons, because no one would go through that only to get money out of me.”

It makes Suguru chuckle as well, just like Satoru wanted and he reaches up to brush his knuckles against Suguru’s cheek.

“I listen to you rant about your interests because I’m in love with you,” Suguru says. “It’s not useless shit if you enjoy it.”

Suguru seems almost put out about the fact that Satoru speaks about his interests like that and a new fondness rises in Satoru’s chest.

“You’re the best friend ever.”

“I’m your only friend,” Suguru corrects, something wistful in his voice and Satoru frowns.

“You’ll still be my friend even when we’re boyfriends, right?” he asks because it’s unfathomable to him to not be friends with Suguru no matter what else they are.

“I should hope so. I’d rather stay your friend forever than be your boyfriend only for a short while, just so you know,” Suguru tells him and Satoru moves before he can think about it.

He rises up, using he hand still on Suguru’s cheek to pull him down slightly, so he can bring their lips together. It’s not much more than a simple brush of skin and it still lights Satoru up like nothing else ever did.

“Okay,” Satoru then says and goes warm all over when Suguru smiles sweetly at him. “Boyfriends, then.”

“Boyfriends,” Suguru agrees and leans down just as Satoru moves up again.

This time it’s much more of a kiss than what Satoru did before and Satoru can’t help but to smile into it.

“I’m really happy I looked lonely enough for you to talk to me,” he admits when they part and when Suguru frowns at him Satoru can’t help but to find it cute.

“I never want you to look lonely ever again,” Suguru decidedly say and Satoru grins cheekily at him.

“I won’t. I have you now, don’t I?” he says and melts when Suguru scratches at his scalp.

“You do, Satoru. You do.”

Satoru feels like the cat who got the cream, all happy and warm, and he settles back down in Suguru’s lap, content like he’s never before been in his life.

But he knows that no matter what, as long as he has Suguru by his side, he’ll always feel like this.

[funkyfreshman]

HAHAH SNOTLOU AU

Httyd au for snotlout and it’s basically an analysis of domestic abuse

In this snotlout has 3 siblings each going through abuse from there father and reacting in n diffrent ways

I love picking at people brains

I however do not like fixing my Grammer and spelling mistakes so like Goodluck reading this cause I typed this out at 2:40 in the morning

There is the eldest spikelout who is about 10 years older then snotlout, he’s kinda the disappointment even though he is the eldest, he grew tall and is well built but not built as desired more looking like his mother if she where a boy there his father. He was never able to live up to the expectations because he literally couldn’t and that developed into anger toward authority and elders, he’s kinda to anyone a little older then him and anyone his age and youger but when he’s interacting with older people and people above him, he’s disrespectful, rude, and abrasive. He’s not afraid of the consequences. He also has little self worth often time defending his siblings as he does not care for his fathers approval in the slightest, the only older person he’s ok with is his mother and even then it’s strained as he’s upset she never helped him. She’s kinda but he understandably holds a grudge so he’s vocal with her. With his two siblings he’s very caring, like I said often times taking blame, and blows for the others. He’s also kinda like a second parent as he had to actually raise them a little and occasionally comfort them.

The middle child is spearlout, who is in all cases the “perfect” build of a Jorgenson, except she’s a women, she’s takes all after her father, she’s a tall buff Viking lady. But she’s not a son, so while she never really was physically abused she still delt with emotion and physical neglect as well as verbal abuse from her father, she honestly lives a very unhappy life as she was never able to accomplish what she feels she was destined to do, she feels she can be so much more but her father when she turned 18 forced her into a arranged marriage with another high end family on berk and she has been his wife ever since, of course she can still prove her worth and she does but most of the time she’s put down for it, as it would be seen as unwomenly of her. Her relationship with her siblings are a little strained, she’s not unkind more resined from them, snotlout especially, as he gets her fathers attention and the chances she feels where ripped from her. She has everything to be exactly what her father wants except she just has a vag n stead of a dick so it projects into a lot of unintended disregard of him. Oh and also how she reacts to this is much like how people think of her she does not care for them, they don’t care about her so why should she them.

And finally snotlout my stupid guy, he takes after his father in looks but his personality and eyes is all his mother, he when he was a child was set to be exactly how his father wanted a Jorgenson, and up until he was 7-8 his father was a good dad, like a really good one. He howeve did witness his father being an awful fuckwad of a dad to his siblings, especially spikelout. So his fear of his dad began there. It continued to snowball when his dad finally decided he had to start training him at 8, and this is when his dad gets bad, pushing snotlout way past his limits continuously. Switching from praise to insults to him, claiming it’s for his won good. It all went down hill around httyd 1 where suddenly being a visous dragon killing Viking wasn’t really need and actually unliked, so snotlout went from top dog to struggling to keep up, his dad of course noticed this is also when he began to physically not meet Jorgenson standards with his height, snotlout is still fit but dudes small he’s like 5’4 5’3 small on the actual show. And his entire family is TALL like huge so that to spitlout of a huge disappointment and pushed snotlout harder called him insult after insult further fucking up his already rock bottom self esteem. But how he reacts to this is he NEEDs atthority figures to like him, he need praise and affirmination that he’s doing things right or he feels like he’s gonna die, his body reacts that way to cause in way of he was incorrect spitelout would be a bitch. So he faced a lot of physical and verbal abuse from his father and unlike spikelout grew to suck up to authority figures and in what he assumed was admiration to them was actually fear, while loving authority he’s terrified of them. And with people his age group and youger he’s snappy taking his fears and pain out on others, in this au he’s a bit better then cannon due to spikelout but it’s still bad.

Anyways this au goes into there relationship with eachother there parents and community, how it affects them physically and emotionally, how it affect there day to day lives, there relationships both romantic and platonic. This story goes into a lot of mental stuff and gives little snippets of there childhood between like actual plot of them speaking out about this and spitlout getting actually banished to outcast island. Then aftermath of that.

Oh also spearlout and snotlout have deep resentment of eachother, spearlout as snotlout has everything she wants and snotlout for her because somtimes snotlout wishes everyone wpuod leave him alone

[dozyrogue]

Hey I'm an old tubbling (dsmp days) that hasn't been really keeping up with the qsmp but knows some of tubbo's lore. What's all this about a revived tubbo? If you don't mind explaining of course.

Hiii anon!! As you hopefully remember tubbo does a lot of subtle lore so the only way to understand the revival is if u get some conext before that. Sorry if it gets just a little bit rambley

I will do my best to explain but for some background ever since maybe purgatory 1 qtubbo has been spiraling. Then he got sunny and genuinely tried to be good for her. And he was!! Hes a great dad to sunny but qtubbo is very mentally ill.

Then he got kidnapped for purgatory 2 and came back significantly worse. He became very passively suicidal, like he didn't outwardly say he wanted out, but from his actions you wouldn't know any better. At least from chats pov. Like he would jump off the top of tubchunk and get downed and sunny would be forced to revive him. "Accidentally" falling off the wall when hanging with phil. Going against the eye workers and just not caring how many times he died. It was pretty bad.

He started feeling like all his friends didn't really care for him and only wanted to use him for the factories he made and the supplies he had created. Then fit and pac got together and again he got significantly worse. So because the relationship that is morning crew changed even tho they claimed it wouldn't. Tubbo started actively pushing people away. Like he would purposely be suppppper fucking annoying and loud and abrasive. It was like he was testing who would stay with him even if he was being a dick. And basically no one passed really. Like even sunny would constantly go to fit or pac or bagi. Saying she doesnt know how to help her dad, he needs help, plz help him. And they would all respond in some variation of "aaahhh its just tubbo!!! Hes fine. Hes just being dramatic." Or assume its about fred.

On top of that because of tubbos mental stability. He couldn't really help Sunny's with her feelings and mental stability.

And I wanna mention all the eggs could see him rotting away and they would mention it too their parents, but they were like "well keep an eye on him" but didn't exactly do much. At least from tubbos pov

But moving on to the new island/spawn point.

For the most part he didn't really interact with morning crew at first. He was with foolish and the town of fobo and he was so fucking happy!!!! It was awesome!! Like even sunny was so excited that tubbo was happy again. Foolish and town of fobo was a new start for him and he felt appreciated. But everything changed when create was put behind a pay wall (I love atla lmao)

So foolish got to get to work on town of fobo projects but tubbo was feeling extremely useless. He couldn't participate in the only way he knew how. create.

He felt useless without a purpose, and was trying hard to get the money for create. He had his high with the beginning of town of fobo but this new create playwall would be the star of a new low. He was once again actively rotting in front of his friends especially his daughter and only she and a few eggs really noticed. His friends would laugh and giggle that hes being dramatic. He was rotting away again in real time. Faster than before really. Tubbo was lacking purpose, he was useless in his eyes and started looking for a purpose, a reason to keep living.

How did he find that you're wondering??? By getting two lives. So one day we had a bunch of the eggos with him. One being empanada and he brought up the fact she's the only egg with one life. How that sucks and if he could he would give a life up for her. Empanada of course refuses. But he keeps going and was like "oh you know what would be really cool..... Only having 2 lives and if I die I don't come back for good." *stares at chayanne*

Empanada is refusing and hes like "naaahh it would be really fun and cool tho." She even tries to get him to stop by bringing up sunny. And he stops for a millisecond and says something like "sure she wouldn't like that too much but I'll be fine" so now he's on two lives.

The thing is tubbo was not hiding this information, like he brought it up all the time. "I have to be careful I only have 2 lives" then he lost one. "I only got one life then I'm dead dead." Feb 13 he almost lost it due to radiation (he will never escape the nuke aesthetic lol) and the next day valentines day he dies.

And I have to make it very clear tubbo keeps telling everyone hes working on one life. He only has one life. Hes doing hardcore. Everyone thought he was joking. So on valentines he went out with a group consisting of sunny, fit, ramon, phil, chayanne, chunsik, and richarlyson. They wanted to compete a dungeon together and tubbo was down for it.

Tubbo ended up making a beat with richarlyson that he ended up losing. Richas killed him, qtubbo ended up dying begging for fit to help him but he died anyway. But it wasn't like last time he didn't come back. Fit basically left immediately sunny was left just standing over her dads body in shock. Chayanne also thought he was joking this whole time but unfortunately learned that he was being serious. And phil was there to just laughing saying tubbos being dramatic lol. No one took his death seriously, like they were all joking and laughing in front of his daughter saying he was having a tantrum and would be back when create is back. The only other person who understood sunny was chayanne.

People only started takeing his death kinda seriously was after creation showed up. The eggs did at least

Now creation is a robot that a ~version of~ qtubbo made to protect the eggs. More importantly protect sunny. Especially in the event that "primary protector" aka tubbo is gone. So late during the valentines stream on phils end, creation shows up confirming that qtubbo is dead dead and hes not coming back unless creation has the proper data. His purpose. The only way to get tubbo back is to bring him back with his purpose

And now I can finally talk about this weeks streams. Creation comes and we are shown the message that was left for sunny. Saying he doesn't know how he got himself into this, and how sunny shouldnt have to hear this message. How he expects any of the adults there to care for her. He knows he hasn't been a good example of self care. But he explains that he will have no idea that he left the message, he will have no idea that the message will even exist. There's only 2 people that can show u this message, and he promises that he will make sure she will never see either of their faces. He apologizes and explains that he never expected to have to take care of anyone else. Goes on to say if he had known he was going to care for someone else he would have never signed up for this kind of "scheme" or "operation." We don't exactly know what hes talking about tho.

He again emphasizes that the friends that we have will take care of her. And how he refuses to believe that they would let anything happen to her. And tells her to keep going and have fun in life because she's just a kid. Then we were cut back to creation who finds sunny saying he needs to find people to help bring him back. They end up with a group consisting of bagi, sunny, empanada, and chayanne and they work together to get what creation needs to bring back tubbo. Its old smooth stone, form a mod, thats before the rest of the islands time. The old order creation stated. And eventually find a secret room in town of fobo, that bagi decodes a book to get the data needed to bring tubbo back. Builds a contraption and creation dies but tubbo is alive again!!!

Then we have the next stream and tubbo is back,,, but he's different-

he comes out of lava and only remembers dying and he thinks he's been gone a day at best. He learns that only fit helped sunny. He doesn't want to believe, but its mostly true. But oddly enough he plans to murder people cuz how dare people not take care of her. Hes more aggressive, he keeps making threats of murder and only sunny is safe it seems. Hes massively holding grudges as well.

they woke chayanne up and hes basically jumping on him and yelling lmao. Claims chay doesnt care cuz he didn't wake up immediately and isn't happy hes back. And like chatters know chay was genually fuck up after losing tubbo. But dude is s c r e a m i n g at sleeping chay.

Chay wakes up, they go outside and end up talking, learned he was gone a week but hes very loud not understanding the vibes of 2 depressed children who missed him very much. He keeps trying to speak but the windchimes are pissing him the fuck off to the point he rips them down. Noises in general is really pissing him off, like things that normally would be really quiet like fire places and the motor boats he gets really angry cuz he claims its really loud.

Just overall being a Menace. Like Chayanne apologized for hitting him and Tubbo was like "oh it's okay it's okay I understand but I will simply take note of that and you'll never know when I'll Strike Back." So he's threatening even the eggs even If he is joking. Qtubbo never use to do that, some.of the eggs ruined his farm and it sent him into a tirade of just talking about how things build up and up and up how they turn into large cracks in the wall and eventually the wall will break. But as he's doing this he practically yelling but aggressively. Also threatened chat saying he can prove how scary he can be lmao.

And was constantly asking people who they think the worse parent of the island is. Sunny and chay were just tryna see where he is mentally. But hes like cornering chay "DONT I LOOK FINE, IM ALL GOOD, WHATS WRONG???"

In other words hes very angry???

Fit was just existing and man's dogged on him "what you think you're so much better than me with your spit shine bald head of yours" and anytime any of the group would try and talk away from him hes just "ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME???" "WHATS HAPPENING, IS THIS ABOUT ME"

Oh and he keeps mentioning the little time people have left.

Like I said some of the eggs ruined Sunny and Leo's farm and he starts off calmish??? But just gets angrier or aggressive is a better term?. Planning to just stand over richas's bed and stare at him. Hes giving arg kinda need to draw that ngl.

He gets mad that the lil group of fit, chay, Sunny, and ramon for fixing the farm that the other eggs destroyed. And fit is trying to like convince him that it's okay like they're just kids it's a mistake. And fit is like it isnt your house so it's okay and tubbo is like "fit I think you're undermining my feelings how is that okay." And fit is just like "oh but it's just like a little thing so it's no worries." And this is how tubbo goes on his "chips and cracks in the walls monologue" that sums up his character perfectly.

Soooo yeeeaaaahhh revived tubbo something else

[asidian]

One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.

I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.

Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.

When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.

Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.

This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.

But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.

On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.

Which brings us to Charles.

Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.

During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.

But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.

Let's start with the Devlin House.

Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.

Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.

So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.

Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.

And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.

Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.

That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.

Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.

Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."

And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.

And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.

And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.

This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.

And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.

Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.

But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.

To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.

And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.

Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.

Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.

They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.

She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.

They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.

But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)

But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.

And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.

Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.

But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.

Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.

In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.

And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.

The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.

And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.

Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.

Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.

For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.

Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.

It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.

Charles' is just as touching.

And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.

[gamerbearmira]

More resident evil 8 Au! I don't think I will ever run out of things to talk about for this AU!

First I'm glad you like my idea for julieta's mutation and I 100% agree that Miranda was trying to get rid of Alma's voice but she didn't directly go for her voice box she was just kind of hoping that it would be a side effect of the experiment so it didn't happen.

The Dimitrescu family does need to chill. They try their best but given their mutation and what I feel like is an ingrained primal/animalistic instincts they have a very hard time reeling in their emotions and with self-control in general. They've gotten a lot better over the years but it is something they still struggle with.

I just realized that we haven't got the families opinion on the other Lords or their first interaction with them besides the Dimitrescu family. As you know with Alcina and her family things were very tense and it took them a little while to be able to get along with each other but they managed The family doesn't have very high opinion of them because of their diet and their overall attitude but they are grateful for the fact that they took Mirabel in and took care of her when she was young. None of them like Monroe mostly because of the smell and the disgust that they feel being near him but also because of the fact that he is constantly trying to trick them into doing things to help him look better in the eyes of Miranda. All of them were creeped out by Donna at first, most of them still are, but Donna and Isabela built an odd little friendship over their special interest in gardening/plants. None of them like karl because of his abrasiveness and the attitude that he takes with Mirabel Plus the fact that his solution to the Miranda problem is to experiment on people and create these horrible monsters although camilo does like/appreciates the chaos that karl brings to certain things.

I feel like when Ethan is in Mirabel's creepy Casita he could go to different sections of the house and find different things. Like when his in the kitchen which is Julieta's area he could find healing items that would randomly regenerate more and could probably buy cheaper food items from Julieta, for weapons and ammo I'm torn about who he could get that from I feel like Luisa would be a good person to get that from because of how much she wants to protect her family. But I also feel like Pepa and Felix would be a better choice because in this Au they go crazy protective over the family plus I just get that type of vibe from them better than I do Luisa because at the end of the day Luisa is a cinnamon-roll sweetheart and I can't really imagine her hurting anyone or dealing with weapons.

Yes Ethan lives! I don't trust the B.S.A.A especially after seeing how they treat Rose. She literally didn't have a childhood in their care, and they were going to shoot her because she had a very reasonable reaction to what that one guard dude said, plus the fact the guy even felt comfortable to say something like that to her when she's visiting her father's grave is just gross. In my version The Madrigal family goes back to their encanto with Ethan and Rose, it's the place they all love and they all miss it very much, There are a couple villagers that are still alive and remember the family but not that many. Casita is still standing. Nobody lives inside because Casita refuses to allow anybody to live in her pushing away anyone who tries to get inside. When they get to Casita they were all basically pushed inside Casita was so happy to see them again! Casita had added a room for Mirabel while they were gone, the family doesn't know why or when. They make Ethan a house near Casita so he can have his own privacy and raise Rose the way he wants to. They of course help him whenever he needs it and spend a lot of time with him and Rose!

But I've been thinking. By the time Ethan happens Mirabel would be fully grown and would have been fully grown for a while before Ethan/Rose happens (all the Lords/experiments seem to stop aging after they reach adulthood) and with how much Miranda likes to experiment do you think it's possible that in between that time Miranda would try and experiment on Mirabel to create a vessel for Eva? In this Au Mirabel is considered the favorite and Miranda does have an unhealthy obsession with her so I wouldn't put it past her to try it but I don't know I would really like your opinion on that.

Any art you would like to make is always appreciated!

PLEASE DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I LOVE IT❗❗ Honestly, Resident Evil by far like my favorite Video Game Media, and in the top five of my favorite media of all time 😭😭 like if you want my attention just mention resident evil

ANYWAYYYYY yeah, I think it's cool for Julieta <333 makes me also think that since her hands leak mold and infect the food, if someone did eat it to heal, it would more effectively heal people who had some form of black mold or any mutation like that; an idea, maybe Ethan, if he goes to her kitchen for healing items, he can take food (if she offers it to him), and he can use it to help regenerate or repair stuff; it can’t regenerate whole limbs though, not unless he has them, hence why Ethan is still missing fingers <\3333 And anyone without mold or mutations have to eat more in order to heal properly. Or maybe ut doesn't heal at all. Idk 🌚

The opinions are so real 😭😭 like I can see why they don’t like Karl (and even Camilo probably only barely tolerates him), and Moreau, for obvious reasons is disliked. Like I know bro is a victim, all of them are, but he SO manipulative it’s not even funny, and he’s just trying to make himself look better in the end. Alcina and the daughters…yeah. By far, if they had to choose one for Mirabel to be around, they prefer Donna, like yeah, she’s creepy, and yeah her weird dolls are creepy, but she’s otherwise pretty chill, and Angie is really just a vessel for her to speak through. I like how Donna and Isa bond over gardening, that’s cool <333

ALSO ETHAN IN CASITA 💪💪💪 he finds the house and family creepy at first, but honestly, with how much he’s been through, he gets over it when he realizes that they only want to help him. Him raiding Julieta's kitchen is so funny, and like she doesn’t care 💀 also I think Pepa and Félix fit for weapons; maybe Luisa can still have a role, since she’s still strong, she can and will defend herself, especially against Lycans. If she’s not at Casita, she will roam the villages and knows her way around, so maybe Ethan can go to Luisa when he needs to know where to go next or where to find certain items (not the flasks though)??

AND THE B.S.A.A…I haven’t watched gameplay of the Rose DLC yet (I need to lmao), so I was going off the B.S.A.A in previous games like 3/5/6. I’m glad they went back to the encanto, and I’m glad Casita is still standing and was so excited that the family came back 🦈🦈 The Madriagls pretty regularly check on the Winters. No Mia. We don’t talk about Mia 👹👹

As for Miranda trying that, yeah, I think so too. Even with her, and the family getting older, Miranda still treats her like a child, like her child. Arguably, her obsession gets worse, and it affects her both Mirabel and even her family to some extent. Mirabel wants to be herself and live as herself, but Miranda essentially ends up viewing her as nothing but a vessel for her daughter, and treats her as such. She either treats her as she would Eva, or she would treat her like the experiment Miranda will ultimately try and turn her into. Mirabel fully believes she won’t fail this time. She refuses to listen to Mirabel, much less her family.

Mirabel might even be a little happy Miranda doesn't really like her family, becayse at least that way, her family is safe from Miranda's obsession with getting her daughter back. Miranda tolerates them but you know. She's not above brutality and LITERAL ASSAULT AND MURDER 🌚)

ALSO ART❗❗ so fun to draw. Honestly, I'll draw a lot for this au 🤭🤭 LIKE...its insane. I had this idea, but it doesn't work with the timeline of RE8 and Encanto 😭 Anyway, I want to do a snippet, so if you have any ideas or more lore 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[thecoolerliauditore]

Look I know you said it’s funnier without explanation but if you’re up for it, can you please share your thoughts on the freudian vibes post? I’m guessing that it’s Scott treating Cleo like a mom and Jimmy treating Martyn like a dad?

anon IDK why I felt the need to like. write an essay regarding this. You've basically got it down pact that's literally the whole joke everything else is stupid. but I made you wait so like. whatever man.

under the cut is the horrors but tl;dr:

martyn/jimmy: martyn needs to be someone's husband/dad to feel like he deserves to be loved and jimmy feels comfort in being cared for but is ultimately frustrated with being infantilized.

cleo/scott: much much muddier but cleo gives scott the privilege of being The Mature One who gets her (when scott is not this) while scott gets an illusion of unconditional stability (which cleo can only sometimes provide)

Martyn/Jimmy is the more cut and dry one, mostly sourcing from their Evo relationship and their interactions in traffic smp.

Martyn is someone who feels the need to be a provider/protector and feels frustrated when he is denied that role (e.g. look at his bridge conversation with Cleo in DL or his reaction to jimmy half-rejecting his offer to run away with him in 3L and acting spitefully towards jimmy at least verbally for the rest of the season).

In my head he is someone who feels as if he is undeserving of a certain level of emotional intimacy (often associated with romantic relationships) if he doesn't perform well enough in said role(s) since the people he strives to "protect"/"rescue" are often the same he acts romantically towards (Ren, Cleo, Jimmy).

This isn't a fully sound point since the southlanders and especially mumbo kind of contradict this but I think the southlanders were kind of a messy specific instance of the worst traits of every member all combining together to form an alliance from hell but that's for another post methinks. Grian is also an outlier but I'd argue that could be seen as him misdirecting his need to rescue jimmy onto the next guy he saw.

Jimmy, on the other hand, is often put into roles where he is assumed incapable of taking responsibility and thus denied of his agencies and thus he ends up in this weird position where, depending on who he is with, he is either someone's tradwife or everyone's youngest brother. What responsibilities he does get are often whatever is deemed most unimportant by the other party he's with, regardless of whether those things are actually important (e.g. him taking care of Martyn emotionally when he spirals in Evo during the election arc).

I'm not actually a massive jimmy guy so I can't say for sure what his feelings towards Martyn are, but whatever they are they seem to be heavily conflicting. Jimmy is more abrasive towards Martyn and seems to be more comfortable teasing him and making jokes at his expense, but at the same time becomes cold to him very easily, such as in 3L when he began shooting specifically at Martyn right before his final death or in SL when he tries to kill Martyn and then runs away stating that he "can't go home now". To me, it is as if Jimmy is frustrated with the "incapable" role he gets put into which his relationship with Martyn epitomizes both the romantic and caretaker aspects of, but at the same time Martyn brings him a level of nostalgic comfort.

TL;DR jimmy reminds me of this:

(from: "my lesbian experience with loneliness")

one final note regarding jimmy/martyn: this could go the other way around as well, with the aforementioned emotional care jimmy gives martyn in evo as well as one throwaway line near the end of the series where martyn says something to the effect of "thank god you're back, I don't know how to cook or anything". However I don't think this point is too important since the big point of this is jimmy and martyn wanting to feel loved and cared for by eachother with the conflicting feelings attached.

I'm having a lot of trouble putting the Scott/Cleo section into words rn but I'll reblog this with that added later when I'm processing information in a more digestible manner 👍

[sanguinair]

PERMANENT PLOTTER

Starting off with a plotter for Zapp! He needs some interactions, but I feel like plotting them out beforehand may be better. Feel free to drop a like if you're interested in interacting with him and I'll IM you whenever I'm able!

Enemies: Starting off strong! I’m putting this first because Zapp has a very grating personality, so enemies may be the case for most muses! Loud, hot-headed, abrasive, etc. etc. who wouldn’t get annoyed by this guy

Friends(?): If your muse isn’t bothered by his behavior, a friendship is, of course, not out of the question! He will be… marginally less abrasive. Just a teeny tiny bit. Fighting to protect is what he’s used to back at home so there’s that to look forward to at least

Crush: Zapp is someone with a very shallow approach to relationships. With this, he will pursue your muse because he finds them attractive! Whether or not this is reciprocated is completely up to you.

Cash cow: … Well! As of his arrival, he’s jobless, so he’s looking for people to mooch off of. Do you want a guy that will show up to your place of living unannounced and clear out your entire fridge because boy have I got someone for you to meet

Not sure what to list this one as, but piggybacking off the last one, Zapp is a huge gambler so . If you want to have a silly connection where he is indebted to your muse, I’d be down!

One night stand: Self explanatory! I'm not interested in writing the ons itself, so this is mostly for the connection cuz I find it can be funny sometimes HAHA

If none of these sound good to you let me know and we can work something out more tailored to fit your muse of choice :]

[outeremissary]

break and secret for Balthazar and Kasander?👀

Thanks for the question, and sorry for the delay!! These are things I can go on for ages about for most characters, haha. Personal limits and private experiences are essential in some way to me when thinking through characters. Even though I tried to keep this under control it still got really long... it's under a cut for that and the umm. Content warnings.

CW: mentions of disordered eating, self harm, suicidal ideation, and suicide

[prompt list]

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Balthazar

For Balthazar, total breakdown is the result of being completely, inescapably trapped, especially when it shows a harsh limit on what he's able to do or be. As it is, he already sees his bounds in everything. In his mind he's always struggling through them to live the life he wants rather than what he feels the world is fencing him in to. He knows that he's weak and there's a limit to what he can control. He also knows that he's choosing something with his life that destroys his value in the eyes of others. Still, he needs to believe that he can play past the point where he should have to quit, that his cruel and self-isolating exercises in agency will give him control even if there's no other reward.

At his lowest, Balthazar shuts down near completely. He's been shown that there's nothing that can be gained by fighting; thus, the fight leaves him. He's lethargic, unresponsive, and pliant. To point to a specific incident: when his wings developed and shackled him to the inescapable image of his heritage he withdrew into himself for weeks, avoiding being in the public eye and doing nothing more than the minimum to maintain the illusion of control over his domain- and struggling to do even that. But the withdrawal felt like all he could do to assert control over his body and to shield himself from seeing the extent to which the carefully maintained narrative of himself had escaped him. It was a self-pitying, self-punishing period of neglect. He did very little beyond function. Near the beginning he stopped looking after himself more or less completely. He also stopped eating, something common to his deepest lows but made more intense by the awareness of how the wings merely existing had changed his appetite, the way they ate up energy. He interacted with them only to try to find ways to crush them down to be less visible, or to idly pick at neglected feathers. More than anything, he avoided the people who knew and cared for him. It seemed like the ugliest indignity to be seen in that state. The thought of being pitied made him nauseous.

Still, he's never seemed to have the dignity of suffering alone during any breakdown he's had in his life. No matter how he tries to isolate himself his worst moments always seem to be seen, and sometimes they've been taken advantage of as well. There's a nasty spiral to being shown how much further he can fall when he already feels helpless. He was lucky in this one though: for the most part, it was only the concerned and supportive interacting with him (except Lander, as typical for the rat). And Jaethal, who was instrumental in pressing him back into his daily tasks, wasn't one for pity- that abrasive appeal to his pride did a lot to pull him out of the state. Although she did enlist some help in following through on the more menial or overly sensitive tasks: for a time afterwards, Tristian was in charge of making sure he was eating.

Kasander

So: Kasander is an Oath of the Ancients paladin, the oath most focused on love of life and defense of its sanctity. Light, joy, life. Everything that Bhaal exists to destroy, and that Bhaal made them to snuff out. And you have to understand that Kas takes 1) takes this ungodly seriously and 2) has an extremely radical interpretation of what their oath means. Kasander is a reckless savior. Their mercy can easily be as destructive as their violence. Without very immediate threat they hate to destroy even for a greater good, not while there's still some foolish hope that somehow, the situation will turn around. Kasander has lost their oath three times over the course of BG3 and every time it has been because they've strained the concept of mercy to the breaking point: refused to kill what was lethal, refused to destroy what was tormented. And they're not exactly doing a lot of follow-through here. They hate to control others as much as they hate to condemn them. Their mercy is unconditional. They'll turn around and wait until you're gone- do whatever you want after that. To them, this is what it means to shelter life and see value in it. To just keep offering and offering. To hope against hope and against reason. It isn't as if they're naive, not really. But they're stubborn anyway. And on top of that, they don't want to pass judgment that they know would condemn them. Whatever chance they've been given they have no right to withhold.

To me, Kasander is kind of incorruptible, but that's what can destroy them: they're holding themself and the world to a standard that just isn't possible. They believe too fervently, too uncompromisingly. They're trying to be too good for good, too kind to be kind. And when the world pushes back and tells them no, that's not an answer they can accept. It's not about realism. It's about rejection. Breaking their oath over attempted mercy is being told that their best intentions and all their attempts to overcome everything the world has tried to make them still aren't enough. It makes them feel fundamentally broken. Too dirty to be saved. Far too dirty to save others.

Their lowest points are born out of that conflict between their radical idealism and their oath (or reality at large) more than the direct influence of the Urge (or actions of their siblings). In the game itself, their lowest point was probably the first time they lost their oath. In the same short period they'd endured Alfira's death, had accidentally killed innocents for Ethel, had been called a monster by people they wanted to save and accidentally killed some of the victims they tried to rescue, and when they finally thought they could do one good thing for Mayrina by putting control over her future in her hands and letting her choose what to do about her husband, that was the thing that finally shattered their oath. How much crueler could anything get? Even their attempts at atonement were too monstrous to be accepted. And there's no such thing as a private low- not with Bhaal watching, waiting for them to break completely.

In their total breakdown, they backslide more or less completely into despair. They succumb to self-destructive behavior without the hope of repairing a situation, and they're often driven by the influence, passive or active, of parts of their internal system which are already inclined to shame and self-punishment. Bride in particular holds sway in these moments: though Bride doesn't mean it with any ill will, they see suffering in everything, and they want to find accountability through self-harm and release through death. For Bride, hope is unreliable, and the hard reality is that only extreme solutions can work. It was somewhere in the halfway point between Kasander drowning in their own misery and Bride's desires to save them all from pain that they committed suicide by goading Astarion into killing them while feeding. Their death didn't stick- Shadowheart "rescued" them immediately after finding out, and they wallowed in the guilt of knowing that Astarion almost paid the price for their choices.

Though not characteristic of that particular incident, it's also not uncommon for them to withdraw very quickly and instinctually inside themself, causing someone else to switch to front. In response to distress this is usually Bride, who resolves the situation through self-punishment, or Asperia, who resolves it by lashing out. The things that cause Kasander pain don't often get to Asperia. Asperia is good at going beyond Kasander's limits. Whatever the results, withdrawing gives Kas time to calm down and return to something different.

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

Balthazar

There are a lot of things Balthazar hates to have people know about him, but some of his worst moments and deepest weaknesses have been ripped from him against his will and laid bare to the world. It gives him a strange relationship with personal secrets- most of what he doesn't want known is already out there somewhere. He's used to living in a constant state of damage control. Leaving Absalom gave him a blank slate though, and in many ways he doesn't want others to know anything at all about who he was or what his life was like before he crossed the Inner Sea and went north. As much as it makes him feel cut off from a past he mourns, he feels it's best to hide as much of it as possible through avoidance, vague answers, and lies.

In terms of more specific things though... one thing that he managed to keep from spreading too outside his immediate home neighborhood was information about his mother and about his father's relationship with her. Even before his aasimar heritage had manifested, he knew what it was like to have people look right through him, searching for someone else. He never knew much about her himself because of the way she disappeared, but speculation about her hung over his early childhood and haunted his relationship with his father. He never discusses her willingly. When people ask about his mother he tends to say that she died in childbirth, elaborating occasionally some sickly sweet additional details. His father's fiance, you see. She was young and frail, but they were in love, you understand. A beloved presence and a dearly missed one. All lies, but what a wonder a banal family sob story does for shutting down questions. Anything to stop people seizing on the knowledge she could be alive out there somewhere and thinking she ought to be found. There's no one he has less desire to know more about.

But if there was one thing he wishes he could turn into a secret that he'll never be able to, it would be his aasimar heritage.

Kasander

Despite the fact that Kasander is a painfully honest person and a chronic oversharer, there are still many things they don't want anyone to ever know about them, or to not know the extent of. It's the burden of being a Bhaalspawn: the visions, the acts, the private battles, the lapses... And more than anything, I think that Kasander doesn't ever want anyone to know how much they have suffered over the course of their life. Even Kas can't truly grasp it- like Asperia, they had very few memories before around age 9 even prior to the Tadpole Incident. And after that point there were still always long periods of patchiness. Sometimes scraps from those periods drift through when they trance, and there are dark memories they understand are bound up in the others and can't be accessed by them.

What they remember they still don't want to share. They hate for their pain, past or present, to be a burden on others and find the reactions other people have to it distressing. They know that they've experienced terrible things and that few people can understand that, and they don't want to be hurt again by others denying their experiences, downplaying them, or misinterpreting them. With most of the party members distress and pushback seem to be the norm- it's made them reluctant to confide in anyone outside themself. It also feels like they've failed other people when just talking about their past with others seems to hurt them. Jaheira is the only consistently safe person, and they're thankful beyond words for her, especially after many of their memories were restored. It's hard to imagine continuing to just push through without processing, but they couldn't process all of that alone.

There's another element to past hurt as well though: not all of it belongs to them, and that vulnerable part of the other alters is too sacred to violate by sharing even through implication. Concealing their past- their shared past- is an act of protection so natural they don't even think about it.