#but he is genuinely trying to be good to People
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@bookwyrm-art-stuff
My crops have been fed by the hidden tags
PLS I low key love fics where Airplane is just sitting in touched confusion as Cucumber-bro rants and curses about how he is a good fucking author.
Low key have a little Drabble in my notes where he really doesn’t want Airplane to sell his books because he is worried it will end up like PIDW.
But their friendship means everything to me and I am sad it wasn’t explored more in the book but that is what the fandom is for am I right lads?????
Ok I lied I have art that was too fun not to share
Listen- I need combative “I hate you bro but I would also die for you” platonic cumplane
I need Shang Quinghua calling Shen Quingqui a hussy and a harlot
I need Shen Quingqui to respond with a full bodied cathartic “bitch” I need them to be venting out frustrations every 2 seconds and ruthlessly gossiping the next. I need them to immediately turn on anyone that talks shit on the other.
Pls for my health.
#not at all me trying to get more platonic cumplane sent my way#I love romance but FUCK give me a good bros for life#esp since like their specific dynamic is fascinating#it is the author living in his own trauma world and his biggest hater ACTUALLY MAKING CHANGE FOR THE SOMEWHAT BETTER#THEN THE AUTHOR GOES FINE#he acts like SQQ and looks at MBJ and demands what he wants- and is immediately rewarded#I do need more explosive SQH in my life#I love when people ramble in my tags#he isn’t playing a role like he does through out the whole story- he isn’t an author leaning into knowing everyone and their traumas (his)#no he looks at the guy who went “fuck no I refuse this isn’t right don’t demand this from me#who makes the world just a little bit kinder (it is still fucked but now people are happier or trying)#and goes “fine watch it blow up in my face - and it doesn’t.#MBJ listens and tries to be better for SQH bc he said something#and SQH ends with a smile and a genuinely love for his world#and I am FUCKING FERAL#they are platonic soulmates your honor#and they fucking hate it#with love
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as somebody who was raised differently, there were certain things your sisters got than you. sure they had better tutors and trainers, but they always had the best of the best. the best dresses, shoes, friends, the best attention.
and they always got complimented. you would listen and observe, wondering if you looked or acted so inherently different from them that caused people to totally brush past you. for a while you felt like a ghost, wandering around life as people ignored you. your sisters were the light of everybody’s life, and you were just there. always in the back.
but with arranged!gojo, it’s so different.
he always finds a way to say something good about you, things you never considered before. sure he compliments your baking (a part of you wonders if it’s only because he wants more), but he tells you that your horsemanship is stellar or that your penmanship is amazing. it slips out to, as if he actually meant it.
you’ve spent your entire life believing that you weren’t remarkable. you spent years trying to mimic the way your sisters talked or acted, hoping that maybe if you were like them people would notice you. but with gojo it seems like the more you you are, the more he enjoys your company.
one day when you’re trying on some new gowns, courtesy of him of course, he happens to find you in your shared bedroom, having a little break in between his counsel meetings and training.
your eyes meet his in the mirror, widening as you turn around with a bright smile.
“satoru! you’re here! how’d you get here?” you ask, happy to have seen him in between his busy schedule. the tension in his body melts upon seeing and hearing you, eyes softening at your genuine excitement.
“i had some time to spare, decided to drop on by,” he answers nonchalantly, but you can tell with the slight blush on his cheeks that he intently came here, knowing you’d be trying on your new garments because you told him that last night.
you roll your eyes, looking back to the mirror as you survey the gown, pursing your lips. you feel him coming closer, close enough until his hands wrap around your waist and he’s staring at you staring at yourself.
“i liked those ones,” you point to the pile of gowns on the bed, “but i think i look ridiculous in those,” you point to the ones on the chair. alina offered to help you, but you promised you’d be fine. bedsides, this was something you preferred doing in your own.
“ridiculous? nonsense,” gojo snorted, his fingers tracing the beaded work on your stomach.
you lean back into his chest a little, silently looking at yourself in the mirror.
“i don’t think i look pretty in this,” you mutter, tugging at the sleeves.
“what?” gojo frowns, looking down as you and the clothing your staring heavily at, “i think it looks gorgeous on you.”
you huff, chewing on your cheek.
“i don’t know,” you murmur quietly, feeling embarrassed, “my fathers wife always said i looked worst in red.”
gojo feels his brows furrow even more.
“the old hag?” he tries to tease but there’s an underlying bite in his voice.
he’s watched you for a while now, silently. though you talk about your old life here and there, there are some things that have weighed in on you that you never voice.
he’s aware of how your fathers wife and sisters treated you. he knows you were just the spare, an extra part of the family they never liked to include. you told him once how your excludes from the family portrait that hangs tall in the foyer, or how you’ve been erased from the will. he can’t do anything but listen. and he knows he’ll never understand just how badly they treated you there, but every passing day he seems to find out more and more.
“i think you’re very pretty,” he whispers softly, kissing the side of your head as his hands squeeze your waist, his eyes catching yours in the mirror, “and i think you look beautiful in red.”
your gaze wavers from his and to the table, not used to this.
gojo sees the way you fidget with your fingers and the way your breathing hitches. he can only imagine how many times you’ve been told otherwise, forced to think the opposite.
because he wasn’t just saying it to say it. gojo truly believed you were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. he knew it from the moment you met when you were teenagers, and he knew it now. there’s a certain beauty that you possess that everybody else lacks.
“thank you,” you say, swallowing thickly as you smile a little at him, “i think you’re very pretty too.”
gojo feels his heart clench at the quietness in your voice, the unassuming way you thanked him, not filling believing his words. and sure he’s been called all sorts of good things under the sun, but to hear the genuine kindness laced in your tone, it made him want to bottle you up and keep you everywhere he went.
his hands squeeze your wait tighter, pressing more kisses to your neck as your squirm, smiling widely at the feeling.
“you are always pretty,” he says as he turns you around, leaning your back on the drawer, “always.”
his hands rest on your hips, blue eyes searing through yours.
you duck your head a little bit, heat biting at your cheeks.
“really?” you ask, looking up at him as he sees a shine in your eyes, trying your best not to shed those tears.
gojo feels his hands tighten on your dress, the fabric snagging under him as he breathes deeply through his nose.
he wonders if this is the first time anybody’s ever told you that. he doesn’t want to know if that’s true.
“really,” he repeats, his voice caught in the back of his throat. sometimes, you find a way to reduce him down to a few words. this man who’s been trained to sway others with his speeches, and he can barely speak around you.
you smile again, bashfully, your eyes creasing and cheeks full. gojo chases after your smiles, your happiness.
because though people might’ve whispered nice things when they know you couldn’t hear, those words never reached your ears. they never drowned out the waves of things you heard around your old house or from your family. and perhaps you spent a while thinking that you were just okay, never pretty or smart or funny enough, just okay.
but gojo says it all, and he says it loud. and you lived in the quite for so long that loud is strange. but it’s new, and you think you like it.
you look down at the gown, admiring the bead and needle work. it truly was a beautiful gown.
“i think i’ll keep it,” you say after a beat, and gojo smiles, a happy smile that he only shares with you.
he leans down, pressing a soft and sweet kiss to your lips, feeling the way you melt into him, holding him close to your chest. you hope he can’t feel the sting of tears at the corners of your eyes, or hear the way your heart beats erratically.
“good,” he murmurs as he pulls away for a second, “good.”
you smile.
“good,” you say, tilting your head a bit to find his lips again.
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x reader angst#satoru x reader#gojo drabble#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk drabble#arranged!gojo
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Ferrari's Golden Boy and his Girl || F1 driver!Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
Summary: ur first appearance in the paddock with Rafe :)
Warnings: noneee
Word count: 1,936
A/n: if you couldn't tell by my pfp of Alexandra, i love her and she's who i imagine when i write these f1 fics but of course its up to you!!!!
MASTERLIST (f1 driver x fem!reader au masterlist)
divider by @h-aewo
The world of Formula 1 was glamorous but intimidating, and you felt the weight of a thousand eyes on you. Speculations about your relationship with Rafe, Ferrari's Golden Boy, had been swirling for months, growing louder with every blurred paparazzi photo and cryptic comment he let slip in interviews.
Coming from Rafe’s hometown in the Outer Banks, you weren’t accustomed to attention from the public eye and a sea of flashing camera. Paparazzi had caught glimpses of you together over the past few months—dinners at intimate restaurants, quiet walks along the beach, stolen kisses on his yacht—but this was different.
This was your official debut as his girlfriend, stepping into the spotlight for the first time. Your heart raced, not from the adrenaline of the sport but from the nerve-wracking reality of being here, surrounded by people who lived and breathed Formula 1. You’d spent countless nights scrolling through social media, seeing how some fans could be—relentless in their opinions, cutting down a driver’s girlfriend simply because they didn’t like her.
It was tough sometimes, imagining yourself on the receiving end of that scrutiny. Would they think you were good enough for Rafe? Would they nitpick your every move, your every word, just to find flaws? The thought had kept you awake the night before, despite Rafe’s reassurances.
Rafe, walking beside you, was as confident as ever, exuding the easy charisma that had made him both a star on the track and off. His hand rested at the small of your back, guiding you through the chaos, even outside the paddock gates, with practised ease. Your hands were slightly shaky as you scanned your paddock pass, “You good?” he asked, leaning down so only you could hear.
His voice was low and steady, a stark contrast to the chaotic energy around you. You glanced up at him. “I think so,” you said softly, your voice barely audible over the noise. “Don’t think,” he said, his tone teasing but affectionate. “Just walk in there like you own the place. Because, baby, you kind of do.” He adds, kissing the side of your head.
You couldn’t help but laugh, though the nerves didn’t completely fade. Rafe had an unmatched ability to make you feel like you belonged, even when you doubted yourself. You smooth out your red dress—one he had personally insisted you wear. "You'll match the car," he'd teased, a boyish grin spreading across his face. "And I'll look like the luckiest guy in the paddock."
As you walked past the throngs of fans lined against the barriers, the buzz grew louder. Their cheers grew louder, a cacophony of voices calling out Rafe’s name—and, to your surprise, your own. Phones were raised, the flashes of cameras capturing every moment. Your heart raced, a mix of nerves and exhilaration coursing through you.
"See, they like you already," Austin, Rafe's personal trainer teased gently. His tone was lighthearted, a deliberate attempt to ease your obvious unease. He nudged your arm, grinning as you chuckled softly, trying to shake off the nerves that clung to you. Rafe, ever composed and effortlessly charming, raised his hand in a casual wave to the crowd.
You followed his lead, offering a small, tentative wave and a smile that you hoped looked more confident than you felt. Rafe checked his watch before glancing at the crowd again. “We’ve got time, don’t we?” he asked Austin, though it was more rhetorical than a genuine inquiry. Without waiting for a response, he veered toward a particularly animated group of fans near the front of the barrier.
You stayed back with Austin, watching as Rafe transitioned seamlessly into fan mode. He moved with ease, signing caps, shirts, and posters, pausing for selfies, and exchanging quick banter with his supporters. Your gaze softened as you observed him, pride swelling in your chest. He looked so at home in this chaotic environment, his bright smile and relaxed demeanor making him seem untouchable yet entirely approachable.
Then, as if he could feel your eyes on him, Rafe turned his head to look at you. A mischievous smile danced on his lips as he said something, his words lost in the roar of the crowd. “What’s he saying?” you asked Austin, tilting your head in confusion. Rafe then blew you a kiss with an exaggerated flair, his grin widening when he saw the shy smile it drew from you.
“Rafe, is that your girlfriend over there?” a girl asked as he scribbled his autograph on his photo. Her tone was curious but warm, not laced with the venom you’d feared. Rafe glanced back at you, his smile softening into something almost tender. “Yeah,” he said proudly, not missing a beat. “That’s her. She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?” The fans erupted into cheers, their excitement palpable as they turned their attention to you.
You froze for a moment, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, but Rafe’s unwavering confidence in you gave you the courage to offer another small wave. “I hope you guys love her as much as I do,” Rafe added, his tone light but sincere. After a few more photos and quick goodbyes, Rafe made his way back to you, his stride confident and purposeful. As soon as he reached you, his arm slipped naturally around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.
“What were you saying back there?” you asked, looking up at him with curiosity. Rafe didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, his lips lingering just enough to make your heart flutter. “Just telling them how gorgeous you are,” he replied casually, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You felt the blush creeping up your neck, your cheeks warm as you let out a soft, embarrassed giggle.
Rafe chuckled, clearly pleased with your reaction, and squeezed your shoulder. The paddock was a whirlwind of activity. Team members darted around, engineers shouted commands, and reporters lingered, waiting for their chance to snag an interview. Rafe navigated it effortlessly, introducing you to key people as you clung to his side, trying to take it all in.
As he prepared to leave for his pre-race routine, he turned to you, the confident façade slipping just enough for you to catch a glimpse of his vulnerability. “You’re gonna be okay?” he asked quietly, his fingers lingering at your side. You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah. I’ll be fine, I'll hang out with Sofia," You say, glancing back at Sofia who was Rafe's teammate's girlfriend.
He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead that lingered just long enough to make your cheeks flush. “Good. Because you belong here with me, whether you believe it yet or not.” As he walked away, you felt the cameras capturing the moment, and for the first time, you didn’t feel out of place. You felt proud. Proud to be by his side, no matter how intimidating the spotlight might be.
~
"Rafe Cameron wins the Spanish Grand Prix, and it is a 1-2 finish for the Scuderia Ferrari!" The commentator's jubilant voice rang through your headphones, the words igniting an explosion of joy in the Ferrari garage. The moment the announcement registered, you and Sofia turned to each other, your faces lighting up with pure elation.
Without thinking, you both started squealing, your voices blending into the symphony of celebration around you. You grabbed her hands, jumping up and down like giddy schoolgirls, the weight of nerves and anticipation finally melting away. “They did it!” Sofia shouted, her wide grin matching yours as you both clung to each other, overwhelmed by the magnitude of the victory.
The rest of the Ferrari garage erupted into cheers, a sea of red erupting with applause, hugs, and celebratory fist pumps. Engineers and crew members were already spilling out onto the pitlane, sprinting toward the podium to catch a glimpse of their drivers and bask in the glory of the victory. You could barely hear yourself think over the noise, but it didn’t matter.
The joy was infectious, and you found yourself swept up in the chaos, laughing and cheering along with everyone else. Sofia nudged you with her elbow, her face flushed with excitement. “We’ve gotta get to the podium!” You didn’t need to be told twice. Linking arms with her, you followed the stream of Ferrari personnel down the pitlane. Your heart pounded in your chest—not from nerves this time, but from pride and exhilaration.
As you reached the podium area, the roar of the crowd hit you like a wave. Thousands of fans filled the grandstands, waving Ferrari flags and chanting Rafe’s name. The energy was electric, the entire circuit seemingly united in celebration. The team’s staff ushered you and Sofia forward, guiding you both to the front row, just behind the barriers, giving you the perfect view. And then you saw him, climbing out of his car with a triumphant smile that lit up his entire face.
He threw his arms up in victory, basking in the adoration of the crowd. Your heart raced as Rafe's eyes locked onto yours in the midst of the roaring crowd. His grin widened, that familiar spark of mischief in his gaze, and he pointed directly at you. It felt like the world slowed for just a moment—just you and him, amidst the chaos.
The cameras snapped furiously, capturing the fleeting connection between you both, and a wave of pride surged through you. Without thinking, you blew him a kiss, your smile so wide it felt like your cheeks might burst from the effort. His response was immediate. With a joyful laugh and a skip in his step, Rafe jumped down from his car, making his way toward you as if nothing else in the world mattered.
As he reached you, he pulled you into a tight embrace, lifting you off your feet for a moment, as the crowd's cheers grew louder around you. The cameras followed you both closely, documenting the raw, unfiltered joy of the moment. "You did it, baby!" you exclaimed, your voice muffled slightly by the noise around you, but the sentiment was clear.
Rafe held you close, his arms strong around your back, his helmet still on, the sweaty material of his racing suit rubbing against your skin. He laughed, a deep, satisfied sound that resonated with the energy of the victory. "Couldn’t have done it without you," he murmured, his voice low but filled with emotion. Then, with a playful grin, he lifted his visor, revealing the intensity of his eyes beneath.
You leaned up and placed a quick, soft kiss on his helmet, the action gentle and affectionate. The cameras caught the moment, and you could hear the claps and whistles of Rafe's teammates in the background. You pulled away, giggling shyly, feeling the heat rush to your face as the attention turned to you.
Rafe chuckled and pulled you close again, wrapping his arms around your waist as his team started to gather around, congratulating him, giving high-fives, and sharing the celebratory moment with the driver of the day. But even as they swarmed him, Rafe never let go of you, his hand resting possessively on your back as he basked in his well-earned victory.
#f1 rafe cameron au#f1 driver!rafe cameron x fem!reader#f1 driver rafe cameron#f1 driver au#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe obx#obx rafe cameron#outerbanks rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe x y/n#rafe x you#outerbanks x reader#outerbanks x you#obx x reader#obx x you#obx x y/n#f1 x reader#f1#f1 fanfic
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can I request arcane characters x reader who is covered in scars. I mean lots of scars that make you go like” ho this person has been to hell and back” and “ how did you survive that”. Some scars old and new, and scars that are deep enough to see the flesh move
A/n: Hello!! I hope this is good for you <3
Vi, Jinx, Caitlyn, Ekko, Jayce, Viktor, Mel
Masterlist
You have many scars
Vi
Vi doesn’t flinch at the sight of your scars; she’s no stranger to a rough life. Instead, she looks at you with respect and admiration. "You’ve been through it, haven’t you? And you’re still here." Her fingers trace over the rough lines, her touch gentle. She doesn’t pry about the stories behind them unless you want to share. To her, every scar is a testament to your strength, and she makes sure you know it.
Jinx
Jinx stares a little too long at first, curiosity dancing in her eyes. She makes a joke, trying to lighten the mood. "Looks like we’re both walking disaster zones, huh?" But beneath the laughter, there’s genuine fascination. She’ll ask about a scar or two with childlike wonder, though she quickly backtracks if it feels like too much. To her, the scars are part of what makes you you, and she loves every inch of that.
Caitlyn
Caitlyn notices your scars immediately, but her reaction is quiet, measured. She doesn’t ask questions but makes a mental note to learn more when you’re ready. When she finally speaks, her voice is soft. "Whatever you’ve been through, it’s shaped the person you are now. I admire that." She’s careful, ensuring you never feel self-conscious about them. Her hands linger protectively whenever she touches you, silently promising to shield you from further harm.
Ekko
Ekko doesn’t judge; he’s seen his fair share of pain. When he notices your scars, his expression softens, not in pity, but in understanding. "Every scar’s a story, right? You’re tougher than most people I know." He’s the type to tease lightly to make you laugh but will get serious when it matters. He admires your resilience and lets you know it in a million small ways—like offering quiet comfort when the weight of your past feels too heavy.
Jayce
Jayce doesn’t hide his initial surprise, but it’s quickly replaced with concern and curiosity. "What happened?" he blurts out before catching himself. He’s a mix of gentle and awkward, unsure how to navigate the subject but eager to support you. Over time, he learns when to listen and when to offer reassurance. He sees your scars as proof of your survival and will go out of his way to make sure you feel proud of that.
Viktor
Viktor’s reaction is thoughtful. He doesn’t see your scars as flaws but as pieces of a puzzle that make up who you are. "You’ve endured so much," he says quietly, almost reverently. He’s curious but never intrusive, and his touches are delicate, as if honoring the battles you’ve fought. Viktor admires your strength and often tells you that your scars are symbols of a life lived with courage.
Mel
Mel doesn’t flinch, doesn’t stare—her gaze is steady and kind. "You’ve been through more than most, haven’t you?" she says, her voice warm. She admires your strength and makes it clear she doesn’t see your scars as anything to hide. If anything, she sees them as a mark of resilience and beauty. She’ll soothe your insecurities with quiet reassurance and ensure you know how deeply she values all that you are.
See pinned.
#arcane x reader#arcane#league of legends#vi x reader#vi x you#vi arcane#jinx x reader#jinx arcane#jinx x you#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn x you#caitlyn arcane#ekko x reader#ekko x you#ekko arcane#jayce x reader#jayce x you#jayce arcane#viktor x reader#viktor x you#viktor arcane#mel medarda#mel x you#mel x reader#mel arcane
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Actually I WILL talk about Mai's seeming 'radicalisation'. With the upcoming comic, I can see why a lot of people are confused/caught offguard by Mai suddenly having a vested interest in reforming the Fire Nation's school curriculum.
However, I don't think it's as much of a heelturn as one would believe at first glance.
Mai is a difficult character to pinpoint on some levels, particularly due to her upbringing which stripped her of a lot of her self expression. I think most of the fandom underestimates the trauma and effect of Mai's upbringing. I elaborate on it here.
However, the long and short of it is that Mai was not encouraged to question, criticise or, god forbid, rebel against her enviornment. To the point where her parents scared her with stories of spirits that would kidnap her if she misbehaved.
Ukano's involvement in politics and relatively high status should also be taken into account. Mai would have grown up being strongly encouraged to conform to her father's beliefs and go along with his politics.
Mai : My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about.
We've seen the propaganda and indoctrination of the Fire Nation school system, how it uses misinformation in its curriculum and how it punishes deviance.
Most fire nation children won't have the tools to find the cruelty and danger in the philosophy of the Fire Nation. Zuko had to get banished from the country to even start his deconstruction. And he had Iroh at his side to guide him.
It's not shocking that Mai would not be able to see the flaws of the Fire Nation. Despite this, she still shows no attachment to the Nation's cause, either. In fact, she actively refused to take part in the war effort when she thought she could get away with it.
I don't think Mai had much sympathy to the other nations, nor will I claim she secretly harboured anti imperialistic sentiment. I simply want to state the fact that Mai was, from a young age, forced to do things she didn't want to do and conditioned by multiple parties, to accept this. Mai has been trained to be passive, with only the method of passive aggressiveness and gloominess to defend herself.
I think after the fall of Ozai's rule and the slow restructuring of the Nation, Mai got more freedom in her life. Ukano's political role diminished, so Mai was allowed to think for herself. She gets to discover the world more and develop her own thoughts and ideals, rather than the ones she'd been forced to conform to.
This line in the upcoming comic seems to confirm my thoughts:
Mai's upbringing is the underground and darkness. She was never given an alternative or agency in her life. And thanks to Zuko, she was able to see and experience a different world than the one she was brought up with. She is able to help to try and achieve it.
Initially, Mai is angry at Zuko's joining of team Avatar. She feels betrayed and upset that he did not talk to her in person, even if it was to protect her. And yet, she saves him. While I believe that most of her motivation was genuinely out of love for Zuko. But she also, ekther inadvertently or deliberately made the choice between Azula and Zuko. Between the two potential duture leaders of the Nation.
And she chose Zuko. Who is not only the boy she loves, but also the boy who can heal her nation.
There is an argument to be made about how Mai represents the Fire Nation itself and its relationship to Zuko, but that is a topic for another day.
The theme of Mai caring for the future of the Fire Nation can be seen expanding in the comics. As 99% of the fandom will tell you, the comics have their flaws, but I do enjoy their handling of Mai for the most part.
I think it's interesting that we are shown that Mai not only wants Zuko to be Fire Lord, but for him to be a good Fire Lord.
We see her dissapointed in Zuko secretly meeting with Ozai. At first glance, what she says to Zuko is that she is dissapointed in him keeping secrets from her, which is understandable, since the last time he kept a secret from her led to him joining the opposite side of a war.
However, with her next appearance, we see that Mai may have had another concern relating to Zuko's communing with Ozai. When Ty Lee informs her of Zuko also enlisting Azula's help, Mai exclaims 'so he really is turning into his father', which seems to denote that Mai has a distaste for Ozai and his rule, whether that be from the begining, or recently acquired.
Mai also criticises Zuko's callous and controlling restrictions over the frightened townspeople. This serves to further cement the idea of Mai becoming disillusioned with the similarly inclined authority figures of her past. Authority figures who were a symptom of the Fire Nation's utilitarian and imperialistic system. We see this disdain manifesting in its full force in the teasers for the upcoming comic.
I think people tend to not realise how restricted in her self expression and thoughts Mai was, despite all the puzzle pieces being laid out for us in the show.
Mai has gone through a very quick and yet realistic episode of character growth in my opinion. Not unlike a lot of people raised in heavily Conservative and restrictive households who peel off later in life, she's settling into her own mindset and motivations.
Ans I don't think it's an unrealistic idea for Mai to want to help change the education system. The Fire Academy for girls is where she met Azula, and as an all girl school alumni, I can tell you first hand how toxic and confining these enviornments can be.
While Mai may not be seen as a particularly empathetic or kind person (though I think this interpretation is flawed), she can sympathise with the young girls who will be placed in the shoes of her younger self.
She can want to not see these kids go through what she, Ty Lee AND Azula did.
[The panels of Mai glancing between the stifling interior of the school and the open window and choosing to go outside and lead the Nation's youth outside... ugh]
Not only is this a rather logical progression for Mai's character, in my opinion, but it also feels like a very big 'healing your inner child' moment for Mai. Since she was not really seemingly allowed to be a child, as most children in the Fire Nation appeared to have such restrictions placed on them.
I don't think it's much of a stretch of the imagination that Mai would want to have at least a small part in dismantling the system that harmed her and so many other children of the nation.
She is a young woman now, she has grown from the oversheltered, apathetic teen she was in the show. She has been able to make her own informed opinions about the state of the nation, has been able to hone her trauma into determination. And it seems we're going to see the fruits of this development in "Ashes of the Academy".
I have very high hopes for the upcoming comic, since what we've seen of it appears to make a compelling story, one I relate to deeply, as well as a good study of Mai, a character I find often misinterpreted by the fandom.
#'this is out of character' my brother in raava let me tell you about this cool thing called character development#mai#atla mai#mai atla#zuko#azula#ty lee#ashes of the academy#pro mai#pro maiko#avatar#atla#avatar: the last airbender#the last airbender#avatar the last airbender
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it's really interesting to see how people perceive kabru cause there seems to be a bit of a disparity between how he really acts and how he's portrayed in fanart and fan memes and such
with the way people talk about him you'd think he's this huge flirt or actively trying to use his good looks or whatever to get a leg up but he really.... doesn't? at least i can't think of a significant time where he does. is it cause he teases rinsha? or kisses her as a fish? i think those are dubious examples, but also even if you do read them as genuine flirting theyre pretty small and not repeated with any other character.
it reads more like he's just genuinely charming and good with people. he never tries to make a pass with anyone, people just like him cause he's.... likeable. and in universe characters do act aware of how charming he is (see: mickbell, holm, daya), but they never seem to insinuate that he's actually a tease or that he like, gets around. i guess there's a mention of "rumours" here? have most people seen this? is this what they based it off of?
it's also worth noting that in the same comic those exact rumours (whatever they may exactly be) are proven to be unfounded, kabru is just the type of guy people feel like they can open up to. they don't even talk about him like he's doing it on purpose!
if it's cause he MIGHT be half incubus, my friend brings up a good point: it feels like an intentional subversion to not have him be a sexual "siren" in that way. ryoko kui is very intentional with her world and characters, and to have kabru's succubus/incubus-identity up for debate while also having him be not particularly flirtatious seems like the type of irony she would write on purpose.
to me, really, it seems very indicative of how fandom at large views brown men. kabru's in an interesting position cause he seems to get most angles of this type of flanderization. he's seen as both overly sinister and drama-seeking while also being extremely flirtatious and a whore when.... he's kind of neither of those things?
he's not evil or particularly more violent than anyone else, he's just really utilitarian and has this false impression at first where you think he's gonna be some sort of secondary antagonist but he's way too smart for that. he doesn't manipulate people any more than any other character. and he's not really a whore at all he just.... likes reading people? and knowing people? and people like him? idk man.
it's part of this larger issue where brown men in fiction are both demonized and sexualized at the same time. i don't even think it's on purpose, i just think that most people don't even realize this is something they need to unlearn. it's not even cause i don't like shipping kabru! i do! i just don't agree with flanderizing him to do it.
i think kabru is much more than the first impressions of him you might have, or even the first impressions of him the characters in universe may have. and while i don't think someone posting ooc fanart of kabru is directly racist, i think a lot of it upholds the racism people are already accustomed to. it makes me a little sad!
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can you do the same thing you did with graves as ur bf but with soap pleazz
more than just a dream
synopsis: texts with soap as your bf
headcanons at the bottom as usual
cw: mentions of death/suicide
an: my computer shut down halfway through posting this. which is. fun. and also why this is kinda late oops. title is from out of my league - fitz and the tantrums
masterlist
⊹ he’s a cat dad.
likes dogs too but doesn’t have the time for one. he has four cats, all strays that he snatched off the streets, and he treats them like royalty. if you were allergic to cats/didn’t like them, it would genuinely be a dealbreaker for him.
⊹ he’s so clingy.
gets sad if he hasn’t seen you in five minutes. loses his mind if he doesn’t talk to you at least once a day while he’s away.
⊹ weirdly good at board games, to the point where you accuse him of cheating.
the rest of the 141 refuse to play monopoly with him because of how intense he gets. has no mercy in uno and gets banished to the couch over it.
⊹ will eat anything. he's practically a human garbage disposal.
your leftovers are NOT safe with him around. has to have designated snacks or else he will clear out the cabinets.
⊹ can fall asleep anywhere.
mainly because his sleep schedule is awful. he’ll go to bed at 4am and be awake by 6am. incomplete list of places where you’ve found soap asleep: in a bowl of spaghetti, on the floor right next to the bed, leaning against a wall, in the shower with the water still running.
⊹ awful at cooking and baking.
do not let him in the kitchen unless you want your house to smell like burnt food for weeks. has nearly burnt the house down while boiling water. has a handful of recipes he’s decent at but even those require heavy supervision lest he decides to experiment.
⊹ he’s your personal hype man.
thinks you’re the most gorgeous person alive, whether you spent hours getting ready or if you just rolled out of bed. screams and cries and throws up when he realizes other people can also see how hot you are.
⊹ loves singing and serenading you.
unfortunately (for you), he doesn’t have the voice for it but it doesn’t stop him from trying.
⊹ he loves legos.
zero self control, will waste half his paycheck on them. has an extensive collection, mainly just of the ones he thinks are cool but there’s a few old, rare Star Wars sets he has. cries when he has to put a few in storage to make space for your things when you move in.
dividers from @/saradika-graphics :)
#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#mw2 x reader#cod smau#cod texts#cod headcanons#soap x reader#john mactavish x reader#task force 141 x reader
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✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼ Meet-Cute ✼ ҉ ✼ ҉ ✼
✼Joe Burrow x Ambitious!reader✼
Based on this ask: Hi! Can I request a JB fic where the girl isn’t much interested in the NFL and really focused on work or maybe finding work and then meets Joe. Like their meet cute and him pining for her if that’s okay? Thank you
⭒❃.✮:▹ A/N: LOVEEEEE, this idea🫶🏾
Warnings: none…just fluff as fluffy as a marshmallow!!!
She wasn’t like the other people at the gym. Joe could tell that the second he spotted her on the treadmill, jogging like she was on a mission, earbuds firmly in, completely ignoring everything and everyone.
He wasn’t used to being ignored. People usually gave him a double-take or tried to sneak a photo. But she didn’t even glance his way, and for some reason, that made her more interesting.
Joe wiped his hands on his towel, telling himself to let it go. She probably didn’t want to be bothered. But when he saw her frowning at the screen on her treadmill like it had personally wronged her, he couldn’t help it. He wandered over, hopping onto the treadmill next to hers.
“Hey,” he said, pulling out one of his earbuds.
She startled, glancing at him briefly. “Uh, hi?”
“You’ve got a good pace going,” he said, throwing out the first thing that came to mind.
She snorted—an actual snort—and he liked her even more. “Sure, if the goal is ‘don’t collapse in public.’”
Joe chuckled, slowing his treadmill to match her pace. “That’s a solid goal.”
She rolled her eyes but smiled, and for a second, Joe forgot where he was. There was something about the way her face lit up that made him want to keep her smiling.
“I’m just trying to not freak out before this interview,” she admitted, pulling out her own earbuds.
“Big interview?” he asked, leaning a little closer.
“Sort of,” she said. “It’s my third one this week, and I’m trying to stay optimistic, but it’s been… rough.”
Joe nodded, genuinely interested. “What’s the job?”
“Marketing,” she said, grabbing her water bottle. “But everyone wants experience I don’t have.”
“That’s tough,” he said. “You’ll get there, though. Sounds like you’re hustling.”
Her lips twitched, like she wasn’t used to hearing that kind of encouragement. “Thanks. What about you? You here to blow off steam too?”
Joe hesitated, scratching the back of his neck. “Kinda. I’m here for football. Gotta stay in shape.”
Her eyebrows raised. “You play football?”
“Yeah,” he said. “For the Bengals.”
She blinked at him, expression unreadable. “Like… professionally?”
“Yeah.”
There it was. The moment people usually lit up or started asking questions. But she just nodded like he’d told her he worked at the post office.
“Cool,” she said. “Not really my thing, but that’s cool.”
He couldn’t believe it. “You’re not a football fan?”
“Not really,” she said, smiling apologetically. “I mean, I know the basics, but I couldn’t name more than, like, two players. Sorry.”
Joe laughed, shaking his head. “That’s actually kinda nice.”
“What is?”
“Talking to someone who doesn’t care about all that,” he said honestly.
Her smile widened a little, and he felt his chest tighten. She had no idea who he was, but she was still talking to him like he mattered. He wanted to keep her here, to keep the conversation going, to learn more about the determined, slightly frazzled woman in front of him.
But she checked her watch and groaned. “I gotta go. Thanks for the pep talk, though. Uh… sorry, what was your name again?”
“Joe,” he said, grinning.
“Right. Well, thanks, Joe. Good luck with… football.”
As she walked away, Joe watched her go, his heart sinking a little. He didn’t even get her name.
Still, he couldn’t help the stupid smile that stayed on his face the rest of the day. And when he showed up at the gym the next morning at the same time, it wasn’t just for the workout.
Taglist: @joeybsboo @heavyhitterheaux @inmyfeelingsgnocchi @ikeepitlight @iknowdatsrightbih
#michelle rants🌸#joe burrow#joe burrow x black reader#joe burrow x reader#joey burrow#joe burrow imagine#joeyb
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Can't Hide Love
terry richmond x black, fem! reader
summary: you're afraid of getting hurt and denying the love you feel for Terry, so you reject him when he confesses his feelings for you, but later, you might regret that decision.
warnings: light angst, jealousy, playing mind games, use of the n-word, explicit smut (18+), dom/sub, thighjob, daddy kink, choking kink, unprotected sex, creampie, size kink, friends to lovers, nicknames (shorty, lil mama, baby, baby girl), words: 2k
note:
sequel to I Want You
-
You and Terry sat across from each other at the small kitchen table, the morning sunlight streaming through the window and casting a warm glow on your plates.
As you both chewed your breakfast, an unspoken tension filled the air, making the clinking of cutlery sound almost deafening. You couldn’t help but notice how Terry's eyes held yours, their intensity unyielding.
After an eternity, you decided to break the silence, leaning forward slightly as you finally said, "Last night was real fun but it can't happen again."
Terry clenched his jaw and looked at you, confused. "Wait, what, why?" He asked, his voice earnest and searching, his eyes trying to uncover the truth.
"I mean… if you think I only want sex, then you're mistaken. I like you a lot, shorty. I've felt this way for a while now and would love to take you on a date.” He added.
His expression shifted as he processed your confession. “I like you too, Terry, but…” Your voice trailed off, thick with hesitation and unspoken feelings.
You felt a knot tighten in your stomach. “I just don’t think I can handle anything more than what we have; let's stay friends,” you finished, hoping to keep things uncomplicated.
Terry's disappointment was noticeable, and he tried to conceal the hurt rising in his chest. He nodded as if he understood, even though every part of him wanted to question your rejection.
“Okay!” he said with a shrug, quickly finishing his orange juice to mask his feelings. He moved to the sink to clean his plate, the sound of clinking dishes filling the silence between you.
You were taken aback by his reaction. “Okay, that’s it?” you asked, your brow furrowing as you crossed your arms, a mix of disbelief and concern surfacing within you.
Terry turned his head slightly, a blank look on his face. “What do you want to say?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in genuine curiosity. You took a breath and shook your head. "Nothing."
The two of you left at that, and a few days went by after you rejected him. You were busy preparing for your art gallery opening, feeling excited and nervous.
When the event finally kicked off, you scanned the crowd hoping Terry was coming to at least to support you. Your heart skipped a beat when he walked in with a bouquet of roses.
“Yo, look who made it!” Terry called out with a broad smile, and you felt a rush of warmth. Terry approached you and hugged you quickly before pulling away and handing you the bouquet.
“These are for you. I’m proud of you, shorty, for real. These pieces are dope.” Terry said, honestly looking around at your artwork and your heart fluttered.
“Oh, thank you, Terry. It means a lot to have you here, I thought you weren't coming after, you know,” you replied, trying to keep it cool despite the knot of mixed feelings in your chest.
"Hey...despite that, we're good!" Terry said, reassuring you and placing his hand on your shoulder. You smiled brightly, moving your eyes away.
You waved your assistant over, who wasn't too far away to take the bouquet to you before going back to Terry. “Come on, I want to show you my favorites,” you said, leading him through the gallery.
As you walked, you pointed out different pieces. “This one is inspired by the culture of New Orleans. I wanted to capture that moment of the people.”
Terry nodded, genuinely impressed. “I see you, shorty! That’s hot!” You smiled and continued to show him your work, each piece sparking a conversation-filled detailed explanation.
Finally, you stopped before a special painting that you had kept hidden. “And this one,” you said nervously, “is for you.” As Terry looked at the painting, his eyes widened.
It was a portrait of him, perfectly capturing his eyes and bright smile. “Wow, you painted me? I don't remember you asking for permission to use my likeness,” he joked, grinning widely.
“But I'll let it slide because this is really dope, girl. You really outdid yourself. You’ve got me looking good!” Terry remarked, studying the details closely.
Your heart fluttered as you replied, “Thank you. I'm glad you love it; it means a lot to me.” Terry nodded and stepped back, admiring the piece fully with a playful smirk.
“You once said you only paint intimate pieces like this when you’re in love. So, what does this mean?” he asked, looking into your eyes, searching for an answer.
You rolled your eyes, turning away from him. “Terry, this isn't the time or place.”
He stepped a little closer, a teasing grin still on his face. “Come on now, don’t act like I ain't onto something here. You gotta admit, this painting is special—just like us.”
You shook your head, trying to brush it off. “For real, Terry, drop it.”
“Why you gotta be like that? You know deep down you love me,” he said, his voice earnest but still playful. “I mean, who else you gonna paint like that? You had that canvas waiting just for me.”
You laughed softly, but it was a nervous laugh. “It’s just art, Terry. Ain’t gotta mean all that. You know I paint a lot of folks.”
Terry stepped even closer, leaning in a bit. “Nah, shorty, don’t play me. I see how you look at me when you think I ain't watching. You can't hide the love.”
You glanced over your shoulder, noting your other friends arriving. “Look, Lana and Kayla are here.” You took a step back, creating some space between you. “We can talk later, alright?”
He let out a sigh. “That's cool, and I know you’ll miss me when I move on.” As you walked away, you could feel him watching, his lingering gaze heavy on your back.
You greeted your other friends with a smile, hoping the moment with Terry would fade into the background. As the night went on, you went to look around for Terry.
Your eyes land on him as he chats with a stunning dark-skinned woman who is clearly attracted to Terry. She leans close, laughing at his joke while touching his arm.
You felt a pang of jealousy twist in your stomach. You decided to talk to him, hoping to get his attention. “Terry, can we talk for a second, please?”
Terry barely glanced your way, his attention still locked on the woman. “Yeah, just a sec!” he called, waving you off. You tilled your head, looking at him sideways.
You feel frustrated and a little petty, so you turn your gaze back to the crowd. Feeling bold, you spotted an attractive white guy across the room who seemed interested.
You walked over, flashing a charming smile, and began chatting and playfully flirting with the pretty man named Charles. You could feel Terry’s gaze, but you didn't look back.
You showed Charles some of your artwork, and you noticed Terry following you too closely, as did the woman he was walking to. You had where you just wanted.
“Hey, you wanna grab a drink after this?” Charles asked, leaning closer. You considered it, tempted to make Terry feel what you were feeling.
As you were about to answer with him, Terry finally broke away from the girl and stormed over. “What’s going on here?” he asked, his tone sharper than you expected.
“Just having fun, Terry, and meeting new people like Charles here,” you replied, crossing your arms as you shot him defiantly. “I thought you were busy talking to some girl .”
“Stop playing with me. You’re just trying to make me jealous, aren’t you?” he said, frustration evident in his voice. “I’m gonna go,” Charles replied.
You and Terry ignored him and he just walked away. “Yeah, only because you started it and completely ignored me talking to that trick?” you shot back.
Your words are laced with a bitter edge. A tense silence fell between you as the atmosphere crackled with unresolved emotions. Terry pulled you into the quiet space.
The tension between you was real, and confusion danced in his eyes. “Why you all pressed about me talkin’ to some girl?” he asked, his brow furrowed. “You turned me down, remember twice?”
You took a deep breath, feeling the heat of his body close to yours. “I know…T I messed up, okay? I’m just scared!” You said, the words tumbling before you could think.
“I didn’t want to get hurt. You know my last few relationships were rough. I thought shutting you out would help me, but it worsened everything.”
His expression softened, but he still looked conflicted. “So, you rejected me twice and then got mad when I started lookin’ elsewhere, then tried to make me jealous. Shit is childish, shorty.”
You nodded, your gaze dropping to the floor. “I know, and I'm sorry, but I realize I want to give this a chance; I want you, Terry, and I want to go on a date if the offer is still open.”
Terry stepped closer, his fingertips grazing your dark brown skin, sending shivers down your spine. “It's cool, and hurting you is the last thing I want to do, baby If I’m feelin’ you, I’m all in, no games.”
Your heart raced at his words, the warmth of his body drawing you in. “I want to be all in, too. Show me that taking this jump is okay," You said, you could feel the pull between you.
With that, he closed the gap, capturing your lips with his. All the pent-up tension exploded as you kissed him fiercely. The kiss deepened, and you could feel the world around you fade away.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless. “I'll show you, baby, but first, let’s get out of here,” Terry suggested, and without a second thought, you followed him out of the event.
-
The familiar surroundings felt comforting and charged as you returned to the apartment. Both of you didn’t make it to either of the bedrooms.
Terry leaned in and kissed you hungrily in a sudden burst of lust, his lips warm against yours, his scuffed beard tickling you slightly. He gently pressed your back against the wall.
His hands were all over your body, removing your panties as his lips didn't even separate from yours. You pulled away, helped him out of his shirt, and then pushed his pants with his boxers down.
Terry kicks them off before unzipping your dress and taking it off. He cursed, biting his lip at the sight of your exposed breasts. "Terry" You let out a moan.
You grabbed the back of his head, feeling his braids. He twirled his tongue on your nipple like it was a sucker before sucking it into his mouth.
Terry looked up at you with those pretty light eyes of his with so much desire before popping your nipple off his mouth. He kisses you, dancing his tongue against yours.
He crouches with his legs wide out and gripping your hips. He begins thrusting his throbbing dick through the gap of your thighs. "You feel that, baby? You feel how hard you make me," Terry asked.
"Yes, fuck Terry. I feel so good; keep going, please," You moaned in pleasure, feeling him thrust faster through the soaking wetness of your pussy lips.
You throw your head back, loving the feel of his large hands gripping the plump rounds of your ass. "Mmm fuck" You bite your lip, rolling your hips and trying to match his rhythm slightly.
"Fuck, I need to be inside of that pretty pussy, baby." Terry moans, grabbing your hair roughly and pulling you into a kiss. He lifts your leg to hold you on his hip, and you look at him.
You licked your fingers and rubbed your clit before letting him line himself toward your pussy. He thrusts in slowly while looking deeply into your eyes.
You kissed him and gripped his shoulder as he began fucking you against the wall. "Ahhh, fuck me fuck me, Terry, this dick is good," you moaned in pleasure.
"You like getting fucked against the wall, huh, lil mama?" Terry asked, his voice low, watching your eyes roll back in your head, leading it against the wall.
He lifts you fully, grabs both of your legs under his arms, and begins pounding harder. "Oh my goodness, yes....and....you love this pussy don't you, huh?" You asked.
Your eyes seductively, staring into his soul. "Yeah, I fucking love this pussy, lil mama. This pussy is my mine, you hear me, nobody else? You got that?"
"Yes, yes, Terry, I got it, yes." You nodded at him with a light smirk, grabbing his neck as he continued pounding like a damn beast.
"Let me hear you, baby," Terry said, leaning your back against the wall and kissing your neck. You closed your eyes with your mouth in O, trying to get the words out.
"It's yours, all yours, Terry. Oh my goodness, I'm gonna cum." You moaned, feeling tears of joy coming down your face; the pleasure was so freaking good it brought you to tears.
"Cum, baby, cum on your dick because it's all yours," Terry moaned in your ear, and that is all you needed for you to let out the cry of his name, feeling yourself almost coming on down.
Terry puts you down slightly, has a hold on you to keep you steady, pulls out, and flicks his dick against your clit; you gasp, feeling a gushing of wetness coming out of your pussy.
"Ahhhh fucking shit, muthfucka," You cried, seeing the stars and feeling your body begin to tremble. You could feel yourself slowly falling from the wall.
Terry picks you up bridal style, takes you to your bedroom, and lays you down on your stomach on your bed. He lets you catch your breath as you come down from your high.
"Look at you, got you all breathless and shit; just know i'm not done with you, lil mama," Terry said, giving your ass smack, and you whimpered, feeling him hover over you.
Terry wraps his hand around your neck, gently but firmly tilting your head back, forcing you to look up at him. His intense gaze holds yours.
He kisses you passionately and thrusts inside of you harshly, slightly muffling your moans as he pulls away and grabs your lower back to get a different edge to go deeper.
"So fucking big and so fucking deep, fuck me," You moaned, gripping the sheets of the bed so tight you thought you were going to rip with your bare hands.
Terry lifts himself up and smacks your ass while gripping it in his large hand, watching it jiggle with his every thrust. "Shit, lil mama, after this you're gonna be my girl now.
"And I'm giving you what you deserve; you know I ain't like these other niggas. I'mma take you out and treat you right, okay! I know you love me. You tried to pretend, but I see through it," Terry added.
"Yes, I'm your girl; I wanted it and can't hide love anymore. I want it, Daddy, I love you," you cried out, more tears of joy coming down your face, which made him smirk.
His hands wrap around your neck as you let out loud moans as he thrusts faster and harder with force like no other than before, and he pauses his thrusts for a second, making you whine loudly.
"Say it again, say you love me again," Terry says, pulling out and slamming back into you hard, hitting your sweet spot, still holding your neck.
"Ahhh, I love you, Terry, ahhh fuck I loved you ever since we met," you screamed, feeling yourself coming hard. Terry continued to thrust until he had reached his own mind-blowing orgasm.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I love you too, baby," Terry said, pulling you into a kiss, feeling his cum spurt into your pussy. He pulls out, watching it drop out of you.
Terry falls against you on the bed a second before flips to lay on his back, and both of you lay there catching your breath. Eventually, you both took a shower.
Terry went to get some night clothes and returned dressed in sweatpants as if you were doing your night routine. You walk out of the bathroom into your bedroom.
You chuckled to see Terry get comfortable under your covers. You walked over to the bed, got in, and snuggled into his chest. You both held each other in a sweet, soft silence.
“You really mean what you said?” you asked, just needing reassurance from him. Terry looked deep into your eyes, his expression soft and beaming.
“I did. You deserve the world, baby girl, and I wanna give you that if you just let me,” he said, being honest. You smiled and said, “I’ma let you, Terry.”
“Good! Um... you meant it when you said you really love me, right? " he asked, and you smiled back and nodded slowly. “Yeah, I really do, Terry. I meant it.”
His eyes lit up with happiness, and he leaned closer, gently kissing your lips. As the moment's warmth enveloped you, you both fell asleep in each other's arms, hoping for the best in the future.
#terry richmond x black reader#terry richmond x reader#terry richmond smut#terry richmond x black!reader#terry richmond fic#terry richmond fanfiction#aaron pierre#aaron pierre x black reader#terry richmond#terry richmond x black fem reader#black!fem!reader#black fem reader#terry richmond x fem reader
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You know what sure, I'll make a list of things I didn't realize about Etho before, after watching his entire Hermitcraft s10:
he is really good at designing little aesthetic details
he enjoys being a little menace to the other hermits (and is used to them giving him shit back, he actually expects it)
(an interesting example of the above is him attempting to tease joel with the statues, but when he realizes joel took it seriously he backs off and gives him his own statues)
he'll branch out on occasion and try something new he hasn't done before (the statues of hermits, armor stands)
he is such a perfectionist my goodness
he isn't a fan of overloading a space with details. he IS a fan of smoothing out build details so they flow into each other as much as possible (see how much he messes with the details on the bridges and gateways, making things the same colors etc)
he will kind of just poke at a problem until he figures it out. this applies to things other than redstone too.
ngl a lot of the redstone goes over my head (I break technology on a good day) but he's very good at breaking it down into chucks, to where I feel I could replicate a lot of what he makes, even if I don't entirely understand it.
on a similar note, the way he and tango both will just...put things together in such a way where you just stare at the result. frogger is insane and wonderful.
also, hilarious how worked up he gets defending his silly setup and decisions. tbf I am the exact same way but it's fun to see (I have a computer that I used until, I kid you not, it couldn't go longer than 10 min without shutting itself down. I am also the problem, mr. mic-stand-tissue-box)
he has his favorites to go bother, of course bdubs, but gem is also a favorite now, and doc and beef you can tell he thinks are fun to mess with
he has a lot of respect for other hermits? honestly it's in a chill way but he likes to go check things out and he'll back off if he feels he's overstepped. which should be standard but still, glad to see it.
he will join in on the bit, but he's normally pretty calm about it unless he likes it
disclaimer: don't mean anything by this, but sir you eat the same sandwich for lunch every day and will mimic sounds and vocal inflections you like. why are you me.
he is so petty. it's easy to miss if you aren't paying too much attention but he is SO petty, he is cleo levels of petty and judgmental.
he also will compliment people when he is genuinely impressed. sometimes it will be only to his viewers, but honestly the hermits are etho fans anyways so they'll probably get the message.
this man LIES. it's more obvious in the life series, and it ties into the pettiness and being a menace to other hermits, but he will straight up lie, especially if he thinks it's funny
he's a builder as much as he is a redstoner. it's not this way in every series but he has an eye for design and is good at enacting it, he just also has the ability to just make a build without making it super nice. (some builder hermits I'm pretty sure are incapable of letting themselves build something genuinely ugly. even bdubs stupid house in secret life is good...while etho can value practicality over pretty)
he'll pick up little things from other hermits, either in videos or actions. he's really open to learning. unless he's currently being petty. (see: he does intros similar to gem now, he'll adapt little redstone things he sees other hermits using, or little build details)
he is also really chill about teaching and giving advice, in that he'll tell you what he thinks could be better, same as he judges himself pretty much. sometimes he'll hold back, but he's in it to help you out and help you improve
he likes puzzles :)
he is always thinking of ways to improve, either himself or what he's making or the game of minecraft itself
he gets irritated with himself when he's having trouble with something. he's extremely stubborn and will sometimes out stubborn himself
on a very similar note: he is EXTREMELY competitive (see: giving himself a nosebleed doing cub's maze, not stopping until he gets the highest possible score on impulse's grass game, ALL OF DECKED OUT)
he likes doing things for his friends tbh. he really liked making frogger for the hermits, he likes figuring out new things that the hermits will use. I notice this more as a gem watcher, because the way etho was pretty much like "look at this, look what I did!" to gem about the trident farm...the hermits are hilarious
overall, here for a good time, and a slightly petty and perfectionist time, but a good time. and if he gets to bother the other hermits, or has to put up with the other hermits bothering him, so be it
in summary: I've always been a gem main, but I guess I'm a gemboy and an ethogirl now
#holy shit this got long#feel free to add whatever you've noticed#these are just things that as an occasional/outside watcher I didn't (fully) realize before#hermitcraft#ethoslab#it's been a few days since I binged his series so I might have forgotten/misremembered things but eh#watch me watch all of his other hermitcraft seasons now. I watched his s9 occasionally but I've been watching all his s10 as they come out#I'll probably start with his s7 ngl given s8 complications atm
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How do I write mean insults that's in character for a character to say? I'm personally poor at coming up with insults that don't sound generic or would actually cut deep, being mean in general. I want to write a snarky character with a dry sense of humour when it calls for it but don't know how to go about it.
He's also recovering from a superiority and inferiority complex.
As the writer, you know your character best, and what insults would make sense for them to say (also considering the bigger context of the scene). So, I'll just provide you with a compilation of prompts and notes from different sources, and you can choose which ones are most appropriate to incorporate in your story.
Writing Notes: Insults & Dry Humor
A List of "Sophisticated" Insults
Craven - having or showing a complete lack of courage; very cowardly
Fatuous - silly or stupid; complacently or inanely foolish. From Latin infatuate, which once meant "to make foolish," but which now usually means "to inspire with foolish love or admiration."
Insipid - not interesting or exciting; dull or boring
Obstreperous - difficult to control and often noisy
Obtuse - stupid or unintelligent; not able to think clearly or to understand what is obvious or simple
Pusillanimous - weak and afraid of danger. It's been used by such notables as Ralph Waldo Emerson ("It is a pusillanimous desertion of our work to gaze after our neighbours"), and the disgraced Vice-President Spiro Agnew, who called journalists "pusillanimous pussyfooters."
Sanctimonious - pretending to be morally better than other people. It once meant "possessing sanctity; holy, sacred." The genuinely holy aspect faded, and William Shakespeare is credited with first using sanctimonious to mean "hypocritically pious or devout."
Twee - sweet or cute in a way that is silly or sentimental. Just as buddy is believed to be a baby talk alteration of "brother", twee is a baby talk alteration of "sweet". Although twee is still considered a chiefly British term, it's increasingly popular in American English.
Unctuous - revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, and false earnestness or spirituality. Unction can mean "anointment" or it can name something used to anoint, such as a soothing or lubricating oil. That idea of oiliness led to unctuous, which can describe the slickness of false sincerity.
Vacuous - having or showing a lack of intelligence or serious thought; lacking meaning, importance, or substance
The insult would also depend on which other character it is directed at. Here is a list of "funny" insults for adults from Reader's Digest:
My days of not taking you seriously have come to a middle.
You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
If you were a spice, you’d be flour.
You may have a sparsely attended funeral.
I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?
You’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.
Don’t worry—the first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
May your life be as pleasant as you are.
You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.
...and for your character's significant other:
I like you. People say I have no taste, but I like you.
You continue to meet my expectations.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
If genius skips a generation, our kids will be brilliant.
We were happily married for a month. Too bad it’s our 10-year anniversary.
I admire the way you try so hard.
You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
Have you tried doing it the way I told you to the first time?
The best part of watching a show with you is when you fall asleep because then I can watch my show.
Don’t call me crazy—you’re the one who married me!
You can always alter these to better suit your character. You can read the full list here, which also includes some insults for kids, best friends, and family.
Tips for Better Humor Writing
Humor writing isn’t all about landing a good joke (except for when it is). In creative writing, the effect is usually a bit more nuanced. Here’s a few writing techniques to get you started:
Subvert expectations. Try to undermine the audience’s expectations or reform them with structural elements.
Save the best for last. Humor is often a release of tension, so the sentence builds that tension, and the pay-off—the punchline—happens most naturally at the end. This is also sometimes referred to as the “rule of three,” where two thoughts act as a build-up to the final humorous closer.
Use contrast. Are your characters in a terrifying situation? Add something light, like a man obsessing about his briefcase instead of the T-Rex looming behind him.
Use good wordplay. Sometimes words themselves are funny, and just as often, their placement in a sentence can make a difference. Some words are just funnier than others, so make a list of those that amuse you the most.
Take advantage of cliché. While clichés are something most writers try to avoid, it’s important to recognize them,so you can use them to your advantage. Humor relies in part on twisting a cliché—transforming or undermining it. You do this by setting up an expectation based on the cliché and then providing a surprise outcome. In humor writing, this process is called reforming.
Use humor as a counterbalance. If you just pile on one terrible thing after another, it starts to become ridiculous, and people won’t buy it. Using humor is a great way to achieve the proper balance between fantasy and real life. Remember, if a roller coaster only did twists and turns the whole time, it wouldn’t be as fun to ride.
Level of Intensity
There are people who shrug off an insult (“That’s just the way she is”) and people who commit murder over an insult (“I’m avenging my honor!”). Plus, of course, everything in between. Which is your character?
To be believable, consider the following:
Personality. How hard does your character take events in general? Does s/he get really excited over good fortune and really depressed over setbacks? Then we’ll find it believable that s/he gets really angry and reacts accordingly.
The second cause of an intense reaction is the nature of the specific fight that you’re creating on the page. Lily Owens lets most of her father’s insults go by (“the art of survival”). But when he starts in about her mother, the topic is too important to Lily to gloss over. Lily’s reaction is intense. She runs away. Another type of character might merely have seethed silently. Still another might have fought T. Ray more intensively, setting fire to the house with him inside.
Finally, the strength of fights is culturally determined. Where public or even private scenes are disapproved of (upper-class London, old-money Boston, “well-behaved” families), arguments may be muted, even when the subject matters a great deal. In other cultures, volatility is not frowned on, and people may feel free to scream at each other in public. In extreme cases, murder may even be considered a duty, as in avenging a sister’s sexual assault.
Where is your story taking place? Are your arguers in tune with local or family culture? Maybe not. You can create interesting effects by portraying the rebels against the local mores: the meek child born into a battling family, the furious feminist in polite 19th-century English society.
On Dry Humor
Dry humor - is all about the subtle irony of the facts being stated plainly; it is the contrast between sentiment and reality that makes the situation funny.
The technique is known for its simple, often matter-of-fact declarations that will make the audience laugh or be perplexed (humor is subjective, after all).
With dry humor, delivery and intention create a sort of comedic cognitive dissonance or contrast. Sometimes it is as simple as using a bit of sarcasm, but it can also be more than that.
Dry humor lives and dies on the back of doing less.
Less facial expressions, less props, less setup—less is often more when it comes to landing the joke. You aren’t using a big, dramatic setup or a grandiose vocabulary to make your point.
Essentially, these jokes are derived from saying the opposite of what is meant or delivering them in a way that purposefully counteracts the supposed meaning of what is being said.
Dry Humor in Writing
The function of dry humor has often been to highlight the absurd.
It is effectively executed in moments where satirization of the circumstances at play require little more than noting the facts aloud.
When writing this sort of humor, quick, cutting accuracy is key to making the jokes land.
Simplicity is king, and an honest statement of the facts will always lead the way to finding the funny.
Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Humour ⚜ Laughter & Humour
Hope this helps with your writing!
#writing reference#humor#writing notes#on writing#writeblr#writing advice#writing tips#dark academia#writing prompt#spilled ink#light academia#creative writing#literature#character development#dialogue#writers on tumblr#writing resources
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I just genuinely have to respond to this and I'm going to apologize in advance because I am ultimately a bitch and I don't always know how to speak without being one.
This is just a fundamentally flawed reading of the canon because it genuinely goes against... canon? The lawn mowing is described as an olive branch from Rust after the locker room fight. In the script. By the show runner. By Matthew Mccoughghgh and Woody Harrelson. It is not a calculated move on Rust's part to get at Marty. It's literally described as him trying to be neighborly. To be part of the body.
We're not supposed to see Marty's reaction and think that he's correct in the assumptions that he's making. He even gets a kicked dog look once Rust is driving off, that same look he always gets after he makes a mistake and realizes it immediately after. Rust leaves as soon as he senses the tension because he DIDNT account for Marty's reaction. (Mind you at this point Marty also already knows about his dead child and how that was what caused him to get drunk before the family dinner.)
It's also just. An average normal truck. This is NOT a big fuck off truck and I can only assume you think it is because the op of the tags isn't American. They didn't even make those kinds of big fuck off trucks in the 90s and the man just moved from another state. Why shouldn't he own a truck?
I think the way you describe the situation with Geraci is. Not an inaccurate reading of the scene but it also doesn't feel like a complete reading. Is Rust establishing dominance? Yes! But it's also after Geraci has been sitting there openly talking shit about him/to him. It's not the same thing as just going up to the biggest guy and picking a fight. Rust is responding to a perceived weakness by the other men in the precinct, and that response is a display to show he's not weak and won't just accept it.
But he lives in spaces that are aggressively not just male but masculine. Is he too good and pure to never pick up some of that patina?
This in particular is part of what inspired me to respond and not just hold my tongue. There's some unintentional language here that's very unpleasant. Essentially, "is rust too good and pure to not participate in masculinity?" We don't need to condemn masculinity as a concept when we're discussing the toxicity of the masculinity displayed.
Which brings me to Crash. Crash shows his underbelly. Sure. But getting frisked is actually not just rolling over. I'm sure at least half the people back there had to be frisked. Crash only really shows his belly to GINGER. During the robbery he's giving orders to the other bikers the entire time until the shootout starts. Just because they aren't listening to him doesn't mean Crash isn't trying to control the situation. And Rust DOES show his underbelly and let himself get pushed around- specifically by both of the Hart's. On multiple occasions! Literally even! In this very gifset! He lets them drag him into situations he doesn't want to be a part of all the time.
Also- I'm not really sure what these tags are trying to say. They're kinda nonsensical. You speak of him having a different brand of machismo than Marty and then... list the behaviors that Marty displays. And mention he has a truck.
Rust absolutely does have his own brand of machismo but a lot of it is centered more around his belief women and children need to be protected from men, his self-isolation, and his refusal to deal with his issues healthily or productively. He is undeniably a masculine character despite his placement within the narrative affording him to also exist within some of the feminine tropes. But him mowing Marty's lawn, or even just picking at Marty's fragile masculinity, is not one of those instances. I also feel like there's an inherent linking of toxic masculinity to just... masculinity existing that isn't necessary and ultimately leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Also citing a fanfiction when doing an analysis of the actual canonical facts placed in front of us is... well. That's sure not how critical analysis works as that is not canon or even supplementary canon material.
Edit to add: Laurie specifically states during dinner that she "denies him small arguments to build up his stamina" that's not a man always calculating and in control. He clearly let her push the trajectory of their relationship as lampshaded by that comment and the deleted scene.
RUSTIN COHLE
True Detective S01E03 "The Locked Room"
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The fact that I have already seen a good number of people complaining about how mean Stolas was supposedly being to Blitz in his song and thinking that he legitimately believes that Bliz is a wretched little worm that he owns is just. Utterly baffling. I'm genuinely unsure how anyone could miss the fact that it was an act. It was all a ruse he threw together on the fly in an effort to protect Blitz, wherein he pretended to be a big, bad, masterclass manipulator who was just using Blitz as his pawn.
For anyone who doubts it, here's the truth straight from the song writer's mouth:
This is literally the same exact ploy he pulled in Truth Seekers. He came in at the last minute and put on a big show to convince the people threatening Blitz and the rest of I.M.P that he was a big, scary demon who was so much more powerful than them (which he is) and practically owned them as his minions used to carry out his evil deeds (which he doesn't).
Though, perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised, since pretty much everyone I've seen talk about that scene fails to realize that that and his "who dares threaten my impish little plaything?" and "what's the matter, demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?" comments were nothing but an act and he didn't actually believe any of it, too.
In Mastermind, he was trying to make sure that all of the blame would be put on himself, so that, as shown above, they would give Blitz the same treatment the others got when Blitz claimed they had nothing to do with it and were just following his orders.
In Truth Seekers, he was trying to intimidate the humans and make them so scared he wouldn't need to resort to violence to stop them. Why else would he put on that whole horror movie display and announce himself and his relationship with Blitz at all, if his entire goal was anything other than to incapacitate them with fear? If all he wanted was to get I.M.P out, he could have quickly and easily killed them without saying a word. Calling Blitz his plaything and saying that he was a real demon served to a) establish that he was the kind of person who had playthings, because that's the kind of cruel, domineering creature that most humans expect demons to be, and b) further intimidate them by implying that he was exponentially more powerful than the demons who just decimated their whole entire team.
He didn't mean any of it either time (except for when he called Blitz an idiot, maybe); those weren't things he actually believed. Why would he legitimately think of Blitz as his plaything and someone he owns when in both cases it was far enough in the timeline that he was already in love with Blitz and wanted a real, genuine romantic relationship with him and not just the fleeting taste of one he got while restrained by the full moon deal?
Those were classist/racist things to say, of course, and that was the point. That was language he deliberately used because it fit the persona he was using to appear villainous. Where he went wrong the first time and how his actual internalized racism came into play was in how he didn't for even one single second think about how those statements would look to the members of I.M.P, because he'd never once had to think about the fact they must get those kinds of demeaning comments all the time and had no way of knowing that he was faking. Calling them "little creatures" while he was scolding them probably wasn't part of the act though, and he didn't realize that it was classist/racist to say those things at all, regardless of intent, so he never apologized or reassured them that he didn't actually believe Blitz was his plaything or that they weren't real demons.
But with the power of hindsight and a more omniscient view of the characters that we get later on, it's so clear to see that all of these comments were only said as part of his theatrical portrayals of a villain, rather than things he truly believes, because he doesn't talk like that after Ozzie's when he realized just how much he had unintentionally been hurting Blitz. Don't fall for his ruse, guys, especially not when it's as blatantly obvious as it was in Mastermind.
#helluva boss#stolas goetia#blitzo#text post#meta#my post#helluva boss spoilers#one day I'll be free of all these extremely bad faith takes#one day#but today is clearly not that day
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Why do so many BuckTommy fans think Tommy was right in what he did? In what way is dumping a dude you love the correct thing to do reather than sitting down an talking? I don't get it. Is it because people like Tommy more than Buck so want to make Buck the bad guy despite being the one that was left?
ok so on the off chance that this is asked in good faith i'm going to give you an answer that's not "because they're gonna introduce tommy's next love interest as your dad"
i genuinely think either a) you're taking the words of one or a handful of bucktommy shippers and applying their mentality to "so many" bucktommy shippers or b) you're misconstruing "buck was in part to blame for the breakup" as "tommy was 100% in the right". i have legitimately never seen anyone ever claim that tommy was right to leave buck and, respectfully, i have no idea what the fuck you're talking about
if you're making the first assumption, i genuinely can't help you. you need to get out of the bubble of your experience being The experience. if it's the second one, you need to stop conflating "flawed characters making flawed decisions is compelling" with "that character made the correct decision". tommy is a flawed character. BUCK is a flawed character. the breakup is less about who was right and way more about understanding character motivation.
tommy is fundamentally a man who is uncomfortable with praise (as we see on several occasions), so to be put on a pedestal causes him to panic and cut and run. buck is fundamentally so insecurely attached he might as well be the picture on the psychtoday website's definition of the term. they didn't have to do what they did, but then it wouldn't be a tragedy, would it? it wouldn't be a story about the loneliness inherent to a shitty queer childhood, and two of the ways it can churn out dysfunctional adults. it wouldn't tee up one of the most compelling potential love stories about overcoming those gut reactions (clinging and self-isolation) i have ever seen in my life.
tl;dr they were both wrong. they were both hurting. buck was trying to enmesh himself so deep into tommy's being that he couldn't ever leave, and that freaked tommy the fuck out. so. yeah. that's why people aren't shitting all over tommy constantly for breaking up with him.
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the evans with a reader who is usually very stoic and/or serious laughing at something they said or did?
⋆𐙚 ₊ the evans x stoic!reader .ᐟ
ft. tate langdon ‧ kit walker ‧ kyle spencer ‧ jimmy darling ‧ james patrick march‧ kai anderson ‧ peter maximoff ‧ colin zabel
a/n: damn this is relatable. me & my resting b!tch face
⟢ 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐍.
if tate was trying to be really serious and you broke out laughing, he’d look down and rub the back of his neck, giving you a shy smile. “you’re laughing at me, aren’t you?” he’d say softly, but there’s no malice in his voice—just that gruff, bashful tone he gets when he feels a little flustered.
he’d become a more of a little shit around you, pulling pranks or insulting the other ghosts just to see if he can crack that serious expression again. he’d love the challenge and would become determined to make your laughter a regular occurrence.
completely obsessed with the sound of your laughter. he’d think about it when you’re not around, replaying the moment in his mind like a victory. you being serious and stoic most of the time would only make your laugh feel more special and rare, like a treasure he was lucky enough to uncover.
⟢ 𝐊𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐑.
kit would initially be confused if you laughed at something he said seriously, especially since he’s a pretty earnest and straightforward guy. he’d give you a puzzled look, trying to figure out if you’re laughing at him or if he accidentally said something funny. but he’s not the type to get upset over it—if anything, your laughter would make him smile too, even if he’s not sure why you’re laughing.
“oh, so i’m a comedian now?” he’d joke affectionately. kit has a good sense of humour, so once he realises what’s happening, he’d be more than willing to roll with it and laugh with you.
he has an easygoing nature, so once he realises you’re not mocking him, he’d start chuckling along with you. he’d grin at the sound of your laugh, that soft, affectionate look in his brown eyes as he watches you.
⟢ pre death .ᐟ 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑.
kyle is that guy who thrives on making people smile, especially his partner. if you’re stoic or serious by nature, it wouldn’t discourage him—in fact, it would motivate him even more. he’d see your seriousness as a puzzle to solve.
the first time he gets you to laugh, kyle’s face would light up like a christmas tree. “oh my god, was that a laugh? did i—wait—did i just make you laugh? you’re way cuter when you smile.” he’d wear that as a badge of honor for weeks
⟢ 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆.
jimmy would take it as a personal mission to make you laugh. he’s a natural charmer and wants to bring out the light in you.
“c’mon, pretty girl’, i know you’ve got a smile hiding in there somewhere,” he’d say with that trademark wink of his, trying to coax a laugh out of you.
the first time you actually laughed at something jimmy said, he’d light up with joy. his reaction would be so genuine and full of pride that it might make you laugh even more. “there it is! i knew you had it in you!” he’d say, beaming as if he’d won the lottery. he’d tease you a little more after that, but all in good fun, because seeing you happy would mean everything to him.
⟢ 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇.
calls you his “little marble statue,” while delighting in how you manage to maintain your ice queen front.
would never mock your seriousness or make you feel bad for being stoic. “you carry yourself with such grace, my dear, but surely even a creature of your caliber deserves a moment of levity,”
when you finally did laugh or let out a small giggle, james would be positively delighted. he’d coo softly in your ear, his voice full of affection and lavish praise, “my sweet little dove, gracing me with her joy.”
⟢ cult leader .ᐟ 𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍.
kai is a scary dude but he always manages to say the funniest shit with a straight face.
he’s used to people agreeing with him out of fear, so hearing you laugh—especially at a time when he’s worked up—would throw him off balance.
he’d feel like you weren’t taking him seriously, and that would irritate him, bruise his ego. “what the fuck is so funny?” then demand to know why you’re laughing, even if it was something he unintentionally said that just came out funny. despite his annoyance, kai secretly likes that you feel comfortable enough around him to laugh. he’d never admit it, though. on some level, he feels a bit of pride that he was able to make you laugh.
⟢ 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐗𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐅𝐅.
he wouldn’t get too frustrated if you didn’t laugh right away. he’d just keep cracking jokes, hoping that even if you didn’t show it, you at least thought some of his antics were funny. “oh, so you’re one of those people, huh? the ‘too-cool-for-laughs’ type. i get it.”
if you suddenly laughed at something he did, peter would be ridiculously ecstatic. “whoa… did i just do that? did i just make you laugh? hold on, someone get a camera this is a historic moment!”
⟢ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐋.
would poke fun at himself to lighten the mood. “you know, i might be a detective, but apparently, i can’t detect a sense of humour. how’s that for irony?”
if you actually laughed at something colin said, he’d be genuinely surprised and a little flustered. his ears would turn pink, and he’d look away with a bashful smile. “oh, you liked that? uh, cool, yeah. i mean, glad you found that funny,” clearly thrilled that he managed to make you laugh.
even if you laugh at something he didn’t intend to be funny, colin would secretly love it. he’d pause for a second, just to take in the sound of your sweet laughter. it would warm his heart to see you so relaxed and carefree, and that would be a bright spot in his day.
#american horror story#ahs#kai anderson#evan peters#tate langdon#ahs cult#kai anderson x reader#kai anderson x y/n#james patrick march#kit walker#colin zabel#peter maximoff#kyle spencer#jimmy darling#jimmy darling x reader#kyle spencer x reader#jpm x reader#kit walker x reader#peter maximoff x reader
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'ALMOST ALWAYS' CHAPTER 4 IS HERE!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 🎉🎉
(Edit 3 : I started writing this post/reblog last week Monday. Don't worry about what day it is today. I just kept nitpicking at it and having more thoughts that I wanted to add everytime I came back to this, and time kept getting away from me because of irl events, sooo yeah. Stuff happens.)
Edit 1 : My usual yapping will be under the cut for this one, cause I might ramble on for bit longer than usual today. Yeah, I've got some things to say. They might not be particularly intelligible, but is anything I ever say on this app comprehensible? Probably not. Soooooo buckle up I guess 🤷♀️
Edit 2 : (also please ignore that I'm posting this like wayyyy after I've read this chapter, I had this saved and edited as a draft and thought I had posted it after editing it, before I decided to take a nap, but... Guess I was mistaken lol. And sleep deprived, but that's besides the point. Also I guess the draft didn't even save properly earlier??? Because I'm rereading the whole thing now and I'm pretty sure there's stuff I added earlier that seems to be missing now so.... That's sooo fun haha 🙃 I'll try to re-add anything I can remember 🫡)
Edit 1 (continued) : ohhhhh my gosh, this chapter was another ✨emotional rollercoaster✨ (which isn't anything new with this series, and honestly I should've expected it but mannnn, it just gets me every. single. time 😭😭😔)
Let me just quickly gush about this part first because EEEEEEEEhEEhEEEeeeee I can never NOT giggle and kick my feet over sweet moments like this, are you KIDDING me, I'm an absolute sucker for fluff, and I will die on that hill (also I just need to let myself simmer in this fluffy warmth before I divulge into my slightly more serious thoughts, I'll get to those in a second but firsttttt LOOK AT THIS ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEEE👇👇👇😭😭😭😭)
'You deserve to cuddle up next to someone who truly values your presence and genuinely just wants you to be there with them for a little while.
You deserve the soft tickling fingertips that delicately dance across your hairline, lingering there for far longer than ‘just a second’.
You deserve the barely whispered, super soft “Love you.” spoken so tenderly and punctuated with a gentle kiss pressed to the top of your head, it makes you tighten your arms around him.'
When I tell you this made me wanna scream (wouldn't be the first time this fic affected me this way lolll) into my hands and jump up and down 😭😭😭 like girl can you PLEASE be normal (and by 'you', I mean 'I', as in ME. I need to relax lmaoooo 🙃)
This chapter... This chapter was so much. I truly am not sure how to put into proper words everything it made me feel, but I will try. Honestly I feel (and have felt) more than a bit conflicted about them (Joe & R, obvs). And I mean, that's kind of expected, right?
I want to support them but I also low-key want to smack them both upside their head sometimes (but like, in an affectionate 'why did you do that, you flippin idiot, I believe in you and know you can act better than this' kind of way)
It made me remember this quote I heard a while back that went something like "sometimes we dislike other people because we see the parts of ourselves that we dislike, in them". And it irked me because it reminded me of how I'd treated certain people in my life before, in ways that I'm not proud to admit. In one of the previous chapters, Joe had a thought somewhere along the lines of "I can't control my feelings, but I can control how I treat others", and I thought 'this is great, he knows how he should move forward, good for him, he's learned his lesson.' And I hoped it would be the same for the Reader character as well, and that both of them would implement this afterward.
And then... Then this chapter happened, and yeah, maybe they weren't in a completely committed relationship with the people who were sleeping in their beds, and maybe they 'weren't doing anything illegal', and all that, but... They could still be hurting someone else's feelings. Again. Low-key I had my face in my hands like "guys please, I know y'all can't stay away from each other, and I want you guys to end up together too but likeee there's got to be a better way to do this, pleaseeee" 🛐 😭
And maybe that's the point. They're human. They make mistakes. Sometimes they learn and grow from their past mistakes, and sometimes they continue doing the same stupid thing a million times over even if they know it won't end well for them. And it was when they made those questionable choices, when they tried to pretend that their problems didn't exist, when they constantly made excuses and kept repeating the same regrettable cycle over and over – it was during of all those moments that I looked at these characters, and I saw a part of myself. Parts of myself that I didn't like, but acknowledged was there nonetheless. It was these aspects that I could personally relate to.
This is why they feel so fucking REAL to me.
I just really hope things will end well for everyone in the last chapter because mannnn 🥲🥲😭
'But he wants you to stay. It doesn’t have to be like before. Things can be different. Better.'
This part hurt me more than it should 😭😭😭😭
(I know I wrote more about my personal feelings than about the actual fic, but like I said before, I had written more about it - over a week ago - in this draft that didn't save properly, and my memory is generally not that great, sooo yeah. I at least know that I had some thoughts about Emily's response to the whole situation and stuff but I can't recall anything specific I'd written rn. I want to reread this chapter at some point to see if it re-sparks any of those thoughts I had last time but... we'll see lol.)
Anywayssss I can't believe there is just ONE more chapter left to this series omggggg this fic has been an experience for sure
(I'm gonna need to lie down again aren't I 🥲🙃)
Almost, Always
♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: Happy endings aren't for everyone, so it seems, but that doesn't mean that you can't stop trying for one. Question is, are you actually star-crossed lovers that can figure something out, or just absolutely blind to reality and really fucking stupid?
CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, smut, cheating
Author’s note: -
Wordcount: 6.5K
part one - part two - part three - part four - part five
“I didn’t say he doesn’t… I just said, he has never actually said it.”
Emily’s jaw dropped, and you immediately regretted saying what you just said.
“No, stop. He has said it. Forget I said anything. It’s fine.”
You knew exactly what she was going to say.
She’d alluded to it from the start. Rolled her eyes at him. Made faces of outrageous confusion that told you, how can someone behave like that, without having to say the words aloud. Without making you hear them.
“I’m just saying…” Emily started, and showed you a facial expression that made you feel stupid for even bringing it up.
“It’d be better for you to leave him.”
You laughed, like she made a joke, yet so aware that she absolutely wasn’t.
But listen, if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry, because you knew, you knew somewhere in the back of your mind that it probably was better for you to leave him.
Not a truth you wanted to face though.
There were still too many easy excuses for you to make.
So... you made them.
But Emily’s face remained quite serious.
“Emily. You don’t mean that.” You said on the back-end of a giggle.
“Are you joking? My God, it’d be so much better if you left him. Better for you, better for, well, me. Can’t even tell you he loves you? What is he on?!”
You shushed her, and looked over your shoulder in the general direction of your bathroom and listened for a few seconds. The shower was still going. He couldn’t have heard her.
Good.
Not that Emily’s general opinion was a huge secret. But still. It was nice if the peace could be kept for the night.
“He does tell me that.” you argued, much softer. “Just...”
“Just does it when he’s about to hang up the phone? Just a quick, casual, love ya, when he’s saying goodbye?”
“Well, he–”
“Or does he only say it when he’s about to come?”
“Emily.”
“Oh, God. You’re so beyond help, I don’t even know what to tell you anymore.”
For a moment, you avoided eye-contact. Pressed your lips together and looked around the room whilst your friend tried her best to get it into your head that Joe really just wasn’t it.
“You know you’re in second place.” Emily said, suddenly much more earnestly. “You don’t deserve to be in second place.”
Which was a nice sentiment. A thing a best friend was meant to tell you. A bit like a parent calling their baby a genius because they accidentally made a bit of babbling sound like a real string of words.
“Well,” you said, taking a deep breath in and giving Emily your best smile. “So is he, so I guess we’re even.”
He wasn’t.
These were two different leagues.
But suggesting that Emily was in first place with you was the quickest way to make her feel appreciated even though her advice went untaken.
It always did.
Emily was a good friend and always gave excellent advice. And you were a good friend because you always listened to what she had to say. Or, you thought you did. Would tell yourself you did.
But then you simply wouldn’t follow any of it.
You hadn’t taken her advice when she’d told you to stop fucking around in a fourteen month situationship.
“I like how this just… works, don’t you?” Joe had said one evening when you were wrapped up on his sofa together. You’d made a comment that someone had flirted with you and had asked if you were single. You hadn’t known what to tell them.
Joe had just shrugged then.
“Let’s not push for something if it doesn’t need it. Something not broken doesn’t need a fix, does it?”
And you’d disagreed then. Had hoped that he’d grow a little protective and would’ve gone, um what do you mean of course you’re not single. For a while you also hadn’t wanted to define anything, because fuck commitment, right? But it had been over a year and Emily said that you should ask him to just fucking label it already.
You hadn’t.
You also hadn’t taken Emily’s advice when she’d told you that she thought this guy wasn’t going to make you happy.
Hadn’t taken Emily’s advice when she’d told you that she thought this guy was ultimately just there for a bit of fun, but not really much else.
Hadn’t taken Emily’s advice when she’d told you to just leave him already when you told her he had never sincerely told you that he loves you.
“I know you’re smart enough to know that it’s absolutely wild that he’s not said–”
“It’s because you just hear all the bad things, I’m sorry. I should also tell you about the good shit.”
“Oh, yea? Like what?” Emily challenged, and in the silence that followed, you heard the shower turn off.
“Like... look! Look what he got me!” you said, picking up a bag from a dining table chair.
Your friend looked at it for a moment, blank faced, and then narrowed her eyes in suspicion.
“Got you? Like, he went out and bought that for you? Or, was that sent to him by the brand, and he just passed it on?”
You looked at the bag you were still holding, then gave a small shrug. “I don’t know. He still gave it to me.”
It was a nice bag.
“Not exactly the same is it.”
No, it wasn’t. But... you know. You could pretend it was.
“Still counts.”
“Okay. If you think so.”
You didn’t think so, not after what Emily had just said, but you were willing to accept it for the nice gesture, and that was all you cared about. Or, what you told yourself was all you cared about.
“I think so.” You definitively told Emily, breaking into a smile to really sell it.
Just when she was about to roll her eyes at you and maybe try her hand at talking a little more sense into you, Joe called you from the bathroom.
You left Emily on her own for about a minute before joining her again.
“Okay. Let’s go. He’s not coming.” You grabbed your coat and found your bag. The one Joe had given to you, but hadn’t spent a penny on.
“He’s– what?”
“He thought of something that still needs doing. He’s not coming.”
Emily stared at you from where she was sat, watching you hurriedly wrestle your arms into the sleeves of your coat as she slowly caught up to speed.
“So, I’m sorry, but have we just waited for him for ages for fucking nothing then?”
You ignored her tone, finding your phone, your keys, and then Emily’s coat as well.
“Let’s go. If we hurry, we might beat the rain.”
You chucked Emily her coat, and she almost didn’t move her arms in time to catch it. With the front door already open, you gestured for Emily to make her way through, calling, “Bye! We’re off!” into the flat.
Emily, under her breath, very mockingly sing-songed, “Love you!” in that same tone as she walked past you, making her point once more.
You didn’t repeat her, but instead rolled your eyes at what you decided was a joke, and then loudly said, “Don’t wait up!”
You didn’t wait for Joe to answer before you slammed the door shut.
It’s been weeks.
Months, technically, although it doesn’t feel it.
“Please be home, please be home, please be home,” you mutter to yourself as you rush your way down his street. “Please be in the fucking country, for just this fucking once…”
You’d texted and had gotten no coloured ticks from him. So then you’d called, but it just rang for ages before you were eventually sent to voicemail, and that’s something you don’t do. Especially not now. Not about this. Hell would have to freeze over before you’d leave a voicemail message. You could delete a text thread, or a voice note. But, a voicemail? Once a voicemail sends out, there is no undoing that.
Maybe you’re crazy, but what you’re doing now feels safer.
It’s after midnight, dark, the streets wet from earlier rainfall, but you feel wide awake. You’ve got Emily’s words ringing in your ears still, and you’ve not been able to shake them yet.
Her advice.
Or, well, it was more just her opinion. She had expertly dressed it up as a fact, though, which is probably why that one sentence still held you in a vice grip.
Telling her about how you’d had a few… moments, with Joe, since you’d broken up with him, turns out, was the wrong thing to do.
You just really wanted to tell her about the wine.
The expensive bottle you’d satisfyingly dunked into his kitchen sink.
It’s been weeks by now, but you still think about that all the time. And every time that you do, you feel pure glee spark inside of you.
You thought she’d be the same.
You thought she’d absolutely love it.
But then, after you had told her all about that night, she’d just looked at you with so much disdain and disappointment, it startled you into rambling excuses, none of which sounded true to your own ears, let alone hers. She then had shook her head, and sort of muttered something to herself that you asked her to repeat.
It’s those words that haven’t left the forefront of your mind since.
You didn’t ask Emily to clarify herself. You hadn’t gotten into an argument, either. You had just… moved onto a different topic. A lighter, easier to digest thing to talk about.
It left those words to rein freely, left those words at liberty to inflate themselves until they were all you could think about, and the feeling had clawed at your chest for the rest of the day. The rest of the night.
You hadn’t been able to answer the question, what’s wrong, that you were repeatedly asked until it made you upset.
“Nothing’s wrong! Stop asking me what’s wrong! God! You asking me what’s wrong a million times a minute is what’s wrong!”
Something is wrong though.
Obviously.
You just left someone in your bed for this.
Ringing Joe’s doorbell is a quick action, fingers pressing that familiar button before you can have any doubt of what you’re doing. It takes longer than a few seconds before you hear a small beep.
“Joe? I texted you, can you reply to my text?”
A silence follows, and for a moment you think maybe the intercom doesn’t work properly, or maybe he just hadn’t heard you.
“I– I sent you a message, check your phone–”
A loud click of the door unlocking and a loud shrill buzzing sound interrupts you.
“No you don’t have to– just text me back, will you?”
No answer follows, but the loud buzzing persists. After a few more seconds of it, you know Joe’s just holding down the button until you go inside.
That wasn’t the plan.
With a frustrated grumbling sigh, swearing under your breath, you push yourself into Joe’s building and make your way to his front door.
In the lift you decide you won’t let the doors close properly when they’ll open on Joe’s floor. You’ll tell him from half inside the lift that he just needs to check his phone.
You just want an answer.
But then the lift doors open and one foot steps out as you lean into the hallway, expecting to see Joe waiting by his front door, yet he isn’t.
You make an angry face, nose pulling up and showing your clenched teeth with a frown. You’re in a building where people are asleep so you can’t make any noise, but you absolutely would have otherwise. Joe leaves you no other choice but to get out of the lift, and begrudgingly, you make your way over to his doormat.
When you get closer, you can see how the door’s been left open.
“Hey,” you whisper-yell into the flat, “Joe?”
You get no answer, and take a few careful steps inside to find him standing in his kitchen in a T-shirt and a pair of boxer-briefs. He’s got his back turned to you, and is seemingly busy cleaning up mess he’s left out from dinner.
It’s the fucking middle of the night.
It’s dark in Joe’s flat, the only light in the room coming from his under cabinet LEDs, and it’s weirdly warm for the time of night, you think.
“Hey, I–” you start, voice low because it’s late, but you quickly get cut off by Joe.
“Did you close the door?”
You blink a few times and watch Joe very carefully load some things into his dishwasher, making little to no noise at all. No plates softly clashing, no rattling cutlery.
“What? No. I–”
“Will you close the door, please?” Joe asks, but it sounds like a demand. Sort of cold, a little detached.
“All I’m here to say,” you try again. “Is that I want you to check your phone...”
Joe stands up straight and finally looks at you. Whilst maintaining eye-contact he slowly closes the dishwasher until it latches, machine clicking shut, and when he then just... keeps staring at you, you throw your head back like an annoyed teenager, and reluctantly do as you’re told.
You go to close his front door.
In the kitchen you hear the tap go, and when you join Joe there again, you can see how he’s filling up a glass with water.
Joe is about to take a sip when he suddenly decides against it and lowers the glass.
“Water?” he then asks, and holds it out to you with a stretched arm.
You’re slightly confused, but you take it, and then watch Joe reach for another glass from a cabinet and fill that one for himself.
“Thanks, but…” you place the glass on his counter and hold two hands up to Joe. “I’m just here because I need an answer to a text.”
Joe, with his mouth in his own glass, sort of looks at you a moment as he gulps water down.
He looks tired.
Which, yea, that checks out.
You fucking woke him up, didn’t you?
There’s so many reasons to declare yourself clinically insane right now, but you’re holding onto the notion that this is actually all totally normal with all of your might. If you pretend to believe it, you might just be able to trick Joe into it as well.
But Joe just looks at you like he’s waiting for you to give the real reason of why you’re there.
“So, if you could just, check that. Answer it. That’d be great.” You force a polite smile and step back. “That’ll be all.” And you turn to leave again.
“You’ve been crying.” Joe stops you in your tracks.
You turn back to him.
“No. Well, yea I was, but that’s not– I’m fine, that was about something else, not this. You don’t have to– stop, I’m going to go, please... respond to my message. I’ll read it when I get in, and that’ll be that.”
“Wait.”
Joe picks up the glass of water you’ve just put down and gives it back to you. When it’s in your hands, he even gives it a little push upward to ensure that you have a sip.
“I’ll go get my phone.”
And he’s so calm and agreeable that it feels rude to do anything else but take a sip and wait for him. You watch Joe walk out of the room to go get his phone, and it’s a lot of opening and closing doors, everything done as quietly as humanly possible. Then, you suddenly notice how hot you feel in your coat. It’s really fucking warm in here.
That’s new.
That’s... weird.
When Joe comes back, he closes the door behind him again and looks at his phone as he unlocks it.
“Why did you call me?”
“Just–”
“I’ll read the text.”
In silence, you stand and watch Joe open his texts and read your message. Messages. There’s several. Then, he starts typing back, and, this is what you came here for, but now that you’re standing in Joe’s kitchen in the middle of the night, having pulled him out of bed for this, you almost want to tell him he’s being an idiot. He can just as easily answer your question in person.
His message sends, and your phone buzzes in your pocket.
Joe places his down and gives you a tired stare.
“Yea, okay. Th-thanks.”
“Read it.”
It startles you.
“No, that’s…” You’re so stupid. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave. I shouldn’t have come.”
“Read your message.”
You feel like a fucking child that’s being scolded by a parent.
Guilt.
Regret.
Self-inflicted, which makes all of it so much worse.
Every feeling sits dark and sticky and bitterly uncomfortable in your gut, clinging to all the edges, stretching longer until the shadows overtake all of the previous excuses you had for being here.
You shouldn’t have come.
You shouldn’t have gone to wake up Joe over something so insignificant and, well, dumb. It’s embarrassing, and you want to leave.
“You’re here now. I’m up. Read your message.”
You inhale deeply. Hold it there for a moment.
He’s right.
The damage has been done.
You’ve dipped a toe into this strange pond, and now you might as well canon ball yourself right into this uncomfortable mess, no matter how cold the water might be.
The only way out seems through.
You pull your phone from your pocket with a clammy hand, and fucking damn it, you’re sweating underneath all of your layers.
“I didn’t mean to… I shouldn’t have woken you up.”
Joe just lets his eyes drop to your phone before he looks right at you again, his very stance issuing the orders.
Read the fucking text.
You see the notification and open your phone with face ID. Your own messages to Joe catch your attention first, before you see his reply.
“Were we as good as we’re going to get?”
“What we were together”
“Was that really as good as it can get?”
“Ever?”
You didn’t have to send the same question in various different ways, but that’s what had happened.
Emily’s reaction to the stand alone get-togethers you’d participated in with Joe hadn’t been what you’d expected. You’d hoped for a level of girl power encouragement. For a loud get it girl, or a, yea babe get what you want.
Instead, you’d gotten a sigh and shake of her head, followed by a soberly mumbled, “You really do deserve each other…” that you’d asked her to repeat.
Before she’d always said that Joe didn’t deserve you. That was always the point she tried to get across. The idea she tried to sear into your brain. Joe was beneath you, and you were far above. Always.
And then suddenly, now you are no longer too good for him?
Suddenly you’re on equal footing, and you deserve each other.
What the fuck.
You look at your own messages and realise in that very second that you have no idea what kind of answer you are after from Joe. This isn’t a coin toss situation where you know what side you want that coin to land on the moment it get’s thrown into the air. Fear strikes you lightning fast. No matter what Joe is going to tell you, it’s going to be wrong.
What the fuck are you doing at Joe’s flat?
And why is it so fucking hot in here?
The only way out is through.
You read Joe’s text.
“Darling it’s late, let’s not do this over text”
A non-answer.
You look up at Joe, who is now leaning against his kitchen counter, legs crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over his chest. His head tilts to the side a little and neither of you speak.
It’s oddly unexpected that the guy in his underwear exudes more confidence than the girl bundled up in heavy layers of clothing.
You frown and read the message again.
For a second you debate what to do next. What to say. If this is going to be the end of this interaction, or if it’s going to be just the beginning.
It’s late, though.
You inhale deeply. Slowly.
Then, resign.
“Okay.”
Because honestly, what were you really even expecting from him?
Your soft little defeated okay isn’t what Joe expected though, you can see it in the minor change on his face. The eyebrows that quirk up slightly, his jaw that loosens, the eyes that round out...
“I’ll um...” you say softly, letting your phone sink back into a pocket before pulling at your sleeves to let them cover both hands.
Joe steps forward and bends to look at the clock on the oven behind him before he says, “Well. Since you’re here. Might as well.”
He gestures an arm at his dining table. At one of his chairs. It’s hard, but you do your best to ignore the memories of the last time you were there, sat in one of these chairs. Well, technically, you hadn’t sat in one of the chairs... Joe had sat on one of the chairs and you–
“Am I going to get an explanation of what’s going on?” Joe asks as he pulls out a chair for you.
Finally, you remove your coat.
“It’s a long story.” You say, then think for a moment and add, “No it’s not, actually. Emily said–”
“Ah. Emily.” Joe sits down in a chair opposite. “How is Emily doing?”
“Shut up. She’s fine.” You exclaim, voice a little raised in defense, and you’re immediately shushed by Joe. He holds up a hand as he perks up, and you get the message, lowering your tone as you add, “This isn’t about her.”
“It’s not?”
“No. She just said something. I…” you trail off for a second.
Your head’s a scrambled mess of doubt and insecurities and it doesn’t help that all you’ve done in the past few hours is overthink every single thought that’s popped into your brain. It’s a bit of a journey to retrace your steps and go back to the start of all of this.
“We were talking, and suddenly she... she said something and I’m just… I wanted to know if you think that… if you think what I texted you is true.”
“You just… wanted to know… if I think…” Joe narrows his eyes up at the ceiling as he thinks, slowly repeating your words.
It’s condescending.
Patronising.
Joe’s making fun of you.
“All right, be fucking honest or–”
“No, no. I’m sorry. Sorry. It’s nearly two in the fucking morning,” two already big eyes comically enlargen, but don’t make you laugh. Wrong audience. “But, yea, you’re right. Honest. I’ll be honest.”
You take a deep breath in preparation of what he’s about to say.
Were we as good as we’re going to get?
“Imposing question, though.”
Yea, you’re aware. It’s why you hadn’t been able to sleep and had eventually decided to just get up and out of bed, leave the boy you had in there on his own, and make your way over to Joe’s.
“I don’t know.”
Wild how you feel about five inches tall whilst simultaneously feeling like you’re taking up too much space in the room.
“You don’t know.”
Typical.
“Well. No, I… was it as good, wait, what was it?” Joe looks past you and sees that he’s left his phone on the counter. “Was it as good as it could be?”
You exhale through flared nostrils, frustration forcing your eyes shut for a moment.
“Were we as good as it’s ever going to get for us?”
“Were we as good as it’s ever going to get... I mean, I think so? I– But–... you tell me. Were we?”
And Joe’s right. It is late. You have spent hours thinking that question over, and you couldn’t answer it when you weren’t as tired as you are now, so it’s useless to even try at this hour.
You shrug, and for a moment, it’s quiet. You don’t know how to go about leaving now. You came here for something you aren’t going to get and so, fucking now what?
“Why um... why have you been crying?”
“Oh, I...” your fingers find your sleeve to rub. “I was asked why I couldn’t sleep, and I... well, I couldn’t really explain, so...”
Joe frowns in confusion, not understanding.
“I don’t know, you try listening to someone say shit like, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you, fifty times in a row, and try not to fucking snap.”
They’d been tears of angry frustration, mostly with yourself, and they’d actually surprised you. You hadn’t expected to cry, but, you felt hurt by words your best friend said to you, so you guess that does add up, actually.
Something slowly dawns on Joe before he then leans back in his chair and nods, scrunching his nose, and he whispers, “Jasper.”
“Jasper.” you confirm, and it makes you chuckle a little before a yawn breaks it up.
Joe watches you. Lets his eyes take you in. It’s the middle of the night and you’re very clearly going through something, but he hasn’t got the answers to the questions you’re asking him, and he hates it.
Wishes he could help.
Wishes the questions you wanted answers to weren’t so impossible.
Joe watches you yawn. Watches your eyes blink slowly as you stare into space for a moment. It’s so quiet, he can hear his clock tick on the other side of the room. Then suddenly, you smile.
“I told Emily about the wine... about how I was a complete bitch and poured that bottle right down your drain.”
And Joe can’t help but feel more amused at your smile than feel annoyed about his expensive wine being wasted. He won’t let his face show it though.
“Bet she enjoyed that.”
“Yea I thought she would, but... she just... she said that we deserve each other. Whatever that means.”
Joe watches your fingers rub along your sleeves. Knows what that means.
“That’s not true.” he suddenly says, voice low and sincere.
“Oh, right,” you huff a laugh and half-heartedly joke, “I don’t deserve you, of course.”
Joe doesn’t laugh.
“No, I mean... well, yes. Technically.” Before he continues, Joe shakes his head in an attempt get his thoughts in order. It’s late. “But not in the way you just said it. In that... you probably deserve better.”
“Probably?”
“Yea. And so do I. Probably.”
Hmm.
You silently mill that over for a second. Aren’t sure what to make of it. If there’s even anything to agree or disagree with there.
“But, who’s to say. All we know is that we weren’t the best before.”
Joe stresses that last word and then lets the words float in the air for you to draw your own conclusions from. It’s certainly true that you weren’t the best together - hence the break up that eventually happened. But Joe’s expertly sharing the blame, which is not a fun truth to face.
The before saves it, a little.
The before makes it sounds like Joe’s talking about two people who no longer exist. Like, those people are gone. That door is closed. And look at you now. You’re a whole new set of two different people. It’s a different world, and you’ve changed. Grown. Learnt.
Who knows what you’d be like now.
Joe can’t predict the future.
And neither can you.
“Hmm.” you hum, eyes trained on the surface of the table, body flushed with conflicting feelings you don’t know how to put into words. Instead of stumbling through words until you find ones that make sense, you remain silent and pull at your sleeves so there’s more fabric for your fingers to run across.
“Hey,” Joe leans forward a little and catches your attention. “Are you okay? Do I need to be worried about you?”
You smile and let it take over your whole face as you shake your head no before you bring your hand up to cover another yawn.
“No. But I should go. This was never meant to be– she just… I don’t know, Emily got into my head and I didn’t know how to get her out.”
Joe contemplates in silence. Wonders if he’s okay with the idea of you walking out and going home right now, in this state. It’s almost three o’clock.
“I don’t make the best decisions after midnight. Sorry.”
You push your chair back and get up on your feet, the plan being to give Joe a quick polite hug goodbye before you make your way back to his front door.
You’re tired, but you know the second you step outside into the cold air that will make your lungs feel sore, you’ll wake up enough to make your way home without any problems.
But then Joe decides you can’t just go.
You can’t just leave.
He’s stuck.
You’re stuck.
You’re stuck in it, together, in this muddy sludge of whatever the two of you have become now. One of you is going to have to step out of their shoes and escape, and Joe thinks it should be you, because you’ve escaped this quicksand of a relationship before. You know how to get out.
It’s weird that you willingly came back.
Keep coming back.
And it’s awful that Joe just keeps inviting you in. Welcomes you with open arms every single time.
But he wants you to stay. It doesn’t have to be like before. Things can be different. Better.
He decides he’s not just going to let you leave, so when he stands up and you go in for a hug, he takes hold of you by your upper arms and starts moving you towards his sofa.
Says, “Come sit for a second.”
And no resistance comes from you. Joe thinks it must be because you’re tired. You’ve cried and you’ve worried and you’ve let all of it eat away at you until you decided to reach out to him, and now, he wants you to stay. He’s not a fan of how, from a certain angle, it looks like he’s taking advantage of the situation, but... you’re both adults.
He’s not doing anything illegal.
Well.
There’s a girl in his bed.
It’s why the flat is warm and why all the doors are closed. Joe shouldn’t have let you inside. Shouldn’t have made you come in and shouldn’t have made you close the door behind you. Shouldn’t have given you a glass of water and shouldn’t have sat you down.
He doesn’t want you to leave now.
There’s a girl in his bed.
And you’ve got a Jasper in yours.
Joe’s closeness to you will come at a price, he’s aware. But it’s one he’s willing to pay. One he’s got the cash for, no problem. Name the sum and he’ll double it.
He’s got you by the arms and is walking you over to his sofa. You are stopped just before you’re about to step onto the area rug.
“Shoes off,” he says, like he gives a shit. You know he doesn’t, but listen to him anyway, and know that taking your shoes off means you’re not going anywhere. At least not for a while.
You get turned around and get sat down, and immediately, you feel far too comfortable. The seat’s too soft. The cushion’s too fluffy. Memories of the hours spent snuggled up on this sofa shoot into the forefront of your mind and you want to warn Joe that it’s not going to take much for you to fall asleep.
But before you can, he pulls a throw blanket from the other side and hands it to you, and you realise that getting comfy and cosy is actually the goal here.
There’s a guy in your bed, who you’ve just… left. Didn’t tell him anything. Just got out, got dressed and left.
You take the blanket from Joe.
It’s probably a good idea to at least let him know something. Send him a text. Let him know you’re okay. But that little voice of reason in your head gets drowned out when Joe sits down next to you and helps sort out the blanket so it covers you both.
“Sit for a second?” you ask through a soft half-suppressed laugh as Joe settles in beside you, your thighs touch underneath the throw. “Am I staying the night?”
“I don’t know, I don’t control what you do. I just want to sit for a second.”
Joe stretches an arm behind you that you think he’s going to rest on top of the sofa, but it moves your head forward a little as it grabs hold of your bicep to pull you in a bit more.
“Joe...” you warn, but it sounds lighthearted and sleepy.
“What?” Joe acts all innocent, but you can hear his amusement when he adds, “Just for a second.”
Joe is still shuffling in his spot, using his other hand to sort the cushion behind him, then pulling the blanket and tucking it under his leg, followed by him using his chin to fix the bit of flipped cotton of his T-shirt sleeve – it’s a lot of faffing for someone who wants to sit for just a second.
He’s nearly done, a centering sigh half way out of him when, suddenly, you feel how he pipes up a little and see how he looks across the room. His phone’s still on the counter, and for a second, Joe debates getting up to go and get it.
You determine on his behalf that he doesn’t need his phone by draping your arm across his stomach and snuggling up.
It’s warm in Joe’s flat.
And this little nest is perfect.
“Fine.” you mutter softly. “Jus’ for a second.”
Joe pauses for a moment as he looks down at how you let your nose brush his arm, your eyes already closed, and he grins as he sinks back down into his sofa.
You don’t make the best decisions after midnight.
Neither does Joe.
Maybe you do deserve each other. Maybe you don’t.
But you deserve this, you think. And you mean that in the best way possible. You deserve to be comfortable, and cosy, and toasty warm in a dimly lit room with a man who smells really nice.
You deserve to cuddle up next to someone who truly values your presence and genuinely just wants you to be there with them for a little while.
You deserve the soft tickling fingertips that delicately dance across your hairline, lingering there for far longer than ‘just a second’.
You deserve the barely whispered, super soft “Love you.” spoken so tenderly and punctuated with a gentle kiss pressed to the top of your head, it makes you tighten your arms around him.
You fall asleep in the soft glow of the under cabinet LEDs with the knowledge that the next morning is bound to be awkward. But this is still infinitely nicer than trying to fall asleep with Emily’s words on your mind. It’s difficult to think about impossible-to-answer questions when you’re wrapped up in strong warm arms that want you there, so you allow yourself to sink and to drift until dreams fully take you.
A loud bang of a door slamming shut wakes the both of you with a violent jolt.
Two pairs of tired bleary eyes look around the room, and there’s a fleeting moment of confusion. Your mind scrambles to piece together where you are and what just happened, but all your mind can focus on is how dry and heavy your eyes feel as you blink to adjust to your surroundings.
“Oh, fuck,” Joe croaks, groaning as he goes to sit up. He looks over his shoulder, then rubs a heavy hand across his face before he goes, “Yea…”
You feel disoriented and frazzled, and move to sit up just enough to look over the back of the sofa with squinty eyes to see what Joe is even looking at.
All you see is an open door to the hallway that leads to his bedroom.
“What was that?” you ask, thinking maybe something dropped or knocked over somehow. When Joe gets up and walks over to his bedroom to check, you think that’s it. Something fell because gravity finally got a hold of whatever Joe had been precariously balancing on a bookshelf.
But then you hear Joe audibly sigh and dejectedly go, “Yea, she won’t be coming back.”
That takes minute to land.
It’s too early for your brain to comprehend what just happened, but slowly, puzzle pieces click together.
Oh.
Oh, that’s fucking detestable, isn’t it?
When Joe walks back out, he’s wearing joggers and is holding a ball of socks, and you hope there’s a different explanation than the correct one you just concocted. He looks at you for a moment, and you can tell by the look on his face that he feels awful.
Right.
Emily can fuck off.
You don’t deserve each other.
You deserve better than this.
Okay, so, yea, admittedly, you aren’t really one to talk, seeing the personal choices you have made over the past eight hours. But the choices Joe has made in that same span of time are just as bad, if not worse.
You decide to give into the feeling of wanting to lay back down rather than to face whatever this morning has on offer for you. You disappear from Joe’s sight, and cover all of your face with your hands that press and pull at your skin.
This is such a mess.
“Emily can fuck off.” You mutter into your own palms, hoping Joe can translate that and connect the dots of your disdain for him in this very moment.
You should leave.
Should check your phone for any messages or missed calls, and you should leave.
Never come back.
Learn your fucking lesson already and never set foot into this flat ever again.
But then Joe leans over the back of the sofa, and with knitted eyebrows that show off every single line on his forehead, he softly asks, “Do you want a coffee?”
You drop your hands.
Look up at him. The kind face. His short hair sleep messy. Jaw line. His mouth.
You should leave.
“Um…”
Oh... oh no.
“Yea…”
Fuck.
So close.
“Yea?”
You almost had it.
“Yea. I could use a coffee.”
Almost.
---
The Taglisted
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add yourself
#this fic is almost over and I'm NOT emotionally prepared hahaaa :'))#what even happened this week... man idk time is wackkkk#kyu_reads_fanfic
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