#he is *most definitely* neurotypical /j

[gothluke]

the hardest part about tour ending is not hearing from ashton for extended periods of time. i love hearing about his little drums, selfcare, expansive music knowledge, etc. i just wanna know what he’s hyperfixated on rn. :/

[skylarsblue]

✦Call of Duty Bio Headcanons✦

(I know they have canon ages and heights and stuff, but listen. It's fiction, and I think I know better(/j). You can disagree, but these are my opinions. Also, obviously, not all of the info has changed.)

✧John Price✧

Age: 42 y.o Height: 6'2" Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: "Sexy-Is-Sexy" (Or Pansexual) Middle Name: Samuel Likes: Whiskey, vintage radios, old westerns, horses, & mint ice cream. Dislikes: Streaming services, cigarettes(ironic), spicy food, dust, & cottage cheese. Birthday: January 1st Zodiac: Capricorn -Trivia- -Allergic to cats and didn't know until he moved out because his mother had like, four. Grew up around them his entire childhood and was honestly devastated when he realized they make him sick cause he loves'em. -He was definitely a fuck boy in high school/college. Not an asshole one, he made his intentions up front and he was overall sweet, but he didn't wanna be tied down. Ironic given how he ended up wanting the exact opposite later on. -Wishes he took better care of his teeth as a kid. They look great now but he has five fillings in his molars and one (now replaced), silver tooth all the way in the back. Phobia: Amenisphobia; The fear of amnesia Neuro...: Neurotypical

✧Kyle "Gaz" Garrick✧

Age: 26 y.o Height: 6'0" Pronouns: He/Him (I heavily support the trans!Gaz HC) Sexuality: Bisexual w/ a male preference Middle Name: Dylin Likes: Hot chocolate, the smell of lavender, coconut, licorice toffee, & nostalgic music. Dislikes: Milk, politics(irony again), Winter, grocery shopping, & spiders. Birthday: September 5th Zodiac: Virgo -Trivia- -Second oldest of four children, the only boy. He's a family man when it comes to his siblings, but not so much when it comes to his parents. Barely present father and a stressed out mother create for a shaky relationship with them. -Cannot cook to save his life. Man lives off of delivery, MREs, and cup noodles. He knows like...four dishes, and most of them are really simple. -Struggles decorating and making outfits cause he likes tons of different aesthetics. Everything from Scene Kid(for his inner teen) to streetwear. His version of housed decor are a bunch of plants. (Fake so they don't die when he's on deployment) Phobia: Arachnophobia; fear of arachnids/spiders. Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Dyslexia)

✧Johnny "Soap" MacTavish✧

Age: 29 y.o Height: 5'8" Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: Omnisexual Middle Name: Neil (heh) Likes: Knickknacks, loud music, punk aesthetic, chickens, & football(aka Soccer for us pathetic Americans). Dislikes: Silence, sitting still, vague answers, being told what to do, & big dogs. Birthday: August 12th Zodiac: Leo -Trivia- -Constantly on & off with a caffeine addiction. He'll do really good about just drinking water, then he'll have one energy drink and he's fucked it all up again. -The scar on his chin is from a dog, the scar in his eyebrow is from a fight he got in as a teenager. He got in a lot of trouble as a teen. -Borderline pyromaniac, honestly. Hyperfixated on fire as a kid and now he's really happy to be a bombtech. Bro loves blowing shit up. Phobia: Cynophobia; fear of dogs. Neuro...: Neurodivergent (ADHD, hyperlexia)

✧Simon "Ghost" Riley✧

Age: 36 y.o Height: 6'4" Pronouns: He/It (Using "it" makes him seem more ominous, which he thinks is fun) Sexuality: Gay or Homoflexible, demisexual/demiromantic probably Middle Name: Achilles Likes: Birds, alternative indie music, dark chocolate, Victorian architecture, & murder mystery books. Dislikes: Snakes, graveyards, the dark(when it's completely pitch black), 99% of physical touch, & fluorescent lights. Birthday: December 30th Zodiac: Capricorn -Trivia- -He'll never admit it but he loves babies. They're super tiny and super cute, and Simon's heart always melts when one's around. Alas, he's also terrified of scaring them or getting attached, so he avoids babies as best he can. Can't have people thinking he's soft. -Makes the best steak in Manchester. Sometimes his seasoning is bland but the meat itself is perfection, you won't find any better. Melts in your mouth every time. It's a steak equivalent of 6 orgasms. It IS an orgasm. He makes great fucking steak. -Isn't fond of pure silence like Soap, but he doesn't often wanna fill it with loud sounds. He has a playlist of softer, more instrumental songs for this. Or he'll listen to nature sounds. He likes quiet, just not silent. Phobia: Taphephobia; the fear of being buried alive. Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Autistic, dyscalculia)

✧Alejandro Vargas✧

Age: 38 y.o Height: 5'11" Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: Bisexual (Maybe Poly? He's not sure) Middle Name: N/A Likes: Hot drinks, the smell of roses, his nieces/nephews, physical affection, & cowboy hats. Dislikes: Sweaty palms, tourist-y Americans, caramel sauce, white-lies, & the feeling of glue. Birthday: March 25th Zodiac: Aries -Trivia- -Was with Valeria for awhile, but differences, stress, and Valeria discovering she was pretty gay broke them up. They had some tension, but he wasn't bitter towards her. Until she betrayed them, of course. -Was actually the last of his friend group to lose his virginity. He's a passionate, flirty man, but he's not throwing that kind of trust out willy-nilly. He had a few relationships but didn't reach that point until he was like, 19, about to turn 20. He asked a friend to share the moment with him. ...a close friend. -Cannot function in the cold at all. And his definition of cold is 21 degrees Celsius. (70 Fahrenheit for us Americans) He layers and complains all day, he's got a fuckin' heated blanket. A heated blanket owner in fucking MEXICO. Phobia: Coulrophobia; the fear of clowns Neuro...: Neurotypical

✧Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra✧

Age: 38 y.o Height: 5'9" Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: Bisexual (Also maybe poly but he's very hesitant about it) Middle Name: N/A Likes: Ice baths, windchimes, baked sweets(mostly pie), clean handwriting, & naps on the couch. Dislikes: Cutting onions, heavy blankets, confrontation(with like, loved ones. Not on duty, obviously), slow walkers, & reptiles. Birthday: June 20th Zodiac: Gemini -Trivia- -Super good at singing, but he never does, because he's embarrassed. His mother would often encourage him to sing when he was younger at family gatherings, and now he cringes when someone hears him sing and comments on it. -His house is full of fans. Some rooms have more than one. They're running basically all the time, as well as the AC. Sometimes he has to get a family member to go home and turn them off when he's on a long mission. -He knew Alejandro before Alejandro knew him. When they were kids, Rudy was shy and had some problems with his health(exercise induced asthma mostly), so he didn't go out of his way to befriend other kids much. But he was a people watcher, and Alejandro was the most fun to watch. They actually met because one of Alejandro's friends pointed it out and called him creepy, only for Alejandro to defend him. Then they became super close friends! Phobia: Bufonophobia; the fear of toads Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Autistic, echolalia)

✧Valeria Garza✧

Age: 39 y.o Height: 5'7" Pronouns: She/It Sexuality: Sapphic Demiromantic Middle Name: N/A Likes: Expensive paintings, perfect nail-polish, sandalwood incense, lemon water, & flowers. Dislikes: Shaving, back-talk, tiny text on documents or books, chunky rings, & pineapple. Birthday: January 23rd Zodiac: Aquarius -Trivia- -Has a pull to religious imagery in a darker light because of religious trauma. Roman Catholicism is quite common in Mexico, but her parents were really heavy about it. To the point it makes Valeria bitter over it. She has a rocky relationship with God, but finds Mary comforting. Because when she was brought to church, but wanted to hide, she'd hide beside a Mary statue in a corner. -She has an odd sleep schedule. She often only gets four hours of sleep, but she doesn't seem to be tired at any point. In fact, the more sleep she gets, the more lethargic she is that day. -Her first girlfriend was when she was still in the military. A traveling medic from Italy. Unfortunately, the flame came and went thanks to the medic having to leave. Valeria has moved on, but she does mourn their lost time sometimes and has a little dream of meeting her again one day. Though she knows that's not practical. Phobia: Ecclesiophobia; the fear of church Neuro...: Neurotypical

✧Alex Keller✧

Age: 36 y.o Height: 6'1" Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: Heteroflexible Middle Name: Sebastian (he's embarrassed about this) Likes: Golden retrievers, bad jokes, most seafood, provolone cheese, & hummus. Dislikes: Thanksgiving, the sound of rubbing styrofoam, being told to "do what he wants"(makes him feel aimless), tobacco smell, & overzealousness. (He likes simplicity...excluding his tattoos) Birthday: December 2nd Zodiac: Sagittarius -Trivia- -He doesn't really talk to his family excluding holidays. BUT, he will always keep in contact with his older sister, and his niece by proxy. They're the only two that made him feel wanted in his family. He wasn't abused in his mind, but he wasn't paid attention to much either. He always seemed overshadowed by something/someone, and as he got older, he got tired of feeling like an outcast in his own family. So he slowly drifted away and he goes on the guidance of orders he receives. -Probably born in a small town in a place like Utah. He's got small-town-mid-south manners. But I like to imagine he spent a lot of his time in California too, he seems like he'd enjoy the sun and the ocean. -Picks up languages really quick, somehow. At least, when he's around people that speak it. If he had to learn purely from books, he'd have choppy speech at best. He's fluent in English, Spanish, and Arabic. Also, knows a bit of ASL, but he's still working on that one. Phobia: Lilapsophobia; the fear of hurricanes/tornadoes Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Hyperlexia, SPD)

✧Farah Ahmed Karim✧

Age: 30 y.o Height: 5'5" Pronouns: She/Her Sexuality: Aliquaromantic Demi-Bisexual Middle Name: N/A Likes: Poppies, motorcycles, pretty much any food with chickpeas, super spicy stuff, and the sky at dusk. Dislikes: Overly salty things, riddles, genuine cockiness, the feeling of rust(that includes on spoons...), & long winded responses. Birthday: July 1st Zodiac: Cancer -Trivia- -Keeps her hair long despite the fact it's annoying to deal with sometimes. Purely for sentimental reasons. To her, it represents the growth she's had as a person. A far cry from the buzz-cut she was forced into when under someone else's control. So she refuses to cut it. -She will never use it, and she despises it, but she's semi-fluent in Russian. Being around it for so long made her pick it up. It works well if she needs to translate, but she'll be caught dead before she speaks Russian. -Honestly can't cook for shit. She doesn't know what the hell she's doing in the kitchen and basically relies on MREs or the skills of others. She's not a picky eater though, and she'll always finish what's put in front of her, even if she's not fond of it. Phobia: Agniophobia; fear of choking Neuro...: Neurotypical

✧Konig✧

Age: 28 y.o Height: 6'10" Pronouns: He/They Sexuality: Bisexual Middle Name: Obercht (Bonus)Last Name: Badubrecht Likes: Making bracelets, boxing(watching or doing), soda, heavy metal, & fresh bread. Dislikes: Certain kinds of wool, small cars, low doorframes, having to go to the medic, & the smell of hay. Birthday: March 9th Zodiac: Pisces -Trivia- -Was bullied all through high school for various things. His demeanor, his size, his hair(which was long), his cleft lip scar, etc. It took until he hit the largest growth spurt he ever had in secondary school when people began to stop poking fun, but instead avoid him. He maybe had 2-3 actual friends in his entire life before the military. And even now he mostly has acquaintances, not friends. -Doesn't talk to his mother, she was overbearing and cruel, mostly because Konig looks a lot like his father. He doesn't really talk to his father much because the man is hard to talk to. He's not completely cut off, but they are estranged. Konig's grandma hears from him almost every day, sometimes twice a day. She's a badass in her 90s who has never done him wrong, and he would blow up the entire world if anything happened to her. -Sometimes Konig gets comments that say he's got multiple personalities. (By uneducated people, clearly) Because he seems to switch dramatically between modes depending on time, place, and circumstance. Sometimes he's childish and giggly, cute even. Sometimes he's silent, unreadable, and withdrawn. And on the battlefield he's...inhuman, terrifying, and nothing short of bloodthirsty. Phobia: Equinophobia; the fear of horses. Neuro...: Neurodivergent (autistic)

[strongestrat]

HIIIII HI HELLO ENTROPY ZERO PEOPLE IT IS I AND I HAVE COME TO DEFEND AIDEN WALKER/BAD COP AND IF U THINK HES ANNOYING UR WRONG AND SHOULD FEEL BAD /j

Bad cop in entropy zero 1 wasn't exactly the blank slate people expect from half life games/mods, but he didn't have much depth-- all we really knew back then was that he was quippy and very good at his job. He doesn't like people at all and is loyal to the combine to a fault, but we don't know his past, what his motivations are, and we kind of don't need to. EZ1 is about survival in a harsh environment where everything and anything is trying to kill u and u just sort of stop a gigantic rebel plot by accident and u get a shiny (mandatory) promotion out of all of it.

Entropy zero 2's writing is really fucking underappreciated because it takes that basic framework and elaborates on it ingeniously. When he insults people he kills or says "people suck" its not because he's quirky or some kind of generic marvel character it's because people do genuinely fucking SUCK. They used a mentally ill man as a scapegoat for a crime he was a victim of that cost him his family, locked him in a prison/care facility and tried to "change" him. Because he wasn't "normal" to their standards. They stripped him of every single comfort and right he had, every reason he ever had to care about a human being, not just the justice system and prosecutors who failed him and the caretakers who likely neglected or mistreated him but the people who hurt his family and took his daughter and the people who likely discriminated against him simply for existing in a neurotypical society.

This also gives Aiden a degree of separation from loyalty to the combine. He's not just evil for the sake of it he wants to find his daughter Ava and the combine's family cohesion perks are the only chance he has. He's loyal but only because he has an incentive to, and he won't hesitate to kill anyone, and I do mean *anyone*, including his coworkers and a fucking COMBINE ADVISOR if he thinks they can't help him or are trying to stop him from finding Ava. He's good at his job but gets in trouble for killing other cops in a rage induced stupor (not unlike victor-sixty) and of course because these are cops and his boss likes him the chief lets him go with a slap on the wrist and "outland duty" because he is "worth 10 of those guys", and he fucking IS. And Aiden takes it like a champ bc he will do fucking anything to find Ava. His Humor doesn't resonate with everyone and that is understandable (some ppl find him annoying and hes not for everyone), but he's not trying to be funny for funny's sake! He's using it as a coping mechanism for the fact that he has nothing else left and he's being lead along in the hope that he can regain atleast SOMETHING from his old life.

And of course, there is the master template (clone cop) and wilson. I love u wilson and u are definitely the canon ending but i wish i didnt have to babysit u without feeling bad I am getting sidetracked

A clone plot is hard to pull off and in most cases fails spectacularly but in Entropy Zero 2 it just fucking works. Clone cop/master is just the older clone of Aiden but fucking UNHINGED. His loyalty to the combine is gone because he realized they're just using him as an effective tool, and the moment he gets Ava he has no reason to fight for them anymore. So naturally he RIPS OUT A PART OF HIS FUCKING SKULL AND SUSTAINS HIMSELF WITH BOOTLEG CYBERNETICS (I am not joking EZ2 is good at environmental storytelling u can find his fucking skullcap in his little laboratory just before plan B) there are so many little details I noticed on clone cop just before escorting judith on how he butchered himself just to stay independent and have a better chance at finding Ava. His will is fuckign unbreakable which feeds directly into his relationship with the player character Aiden. Clone cop is less of a clone then the Aiden u play as is!!! He even has the prototype AR2! In contrast, the Aiden u play as is clearly modified-- He's much more loyal to the combine but his will isn't unbreakable, and while Wilson doesn't directly factor into whether or not he chooses to fight the Advisor Wilson is CRUCIAL. Clone cop is methodical, using the survival skills from the events of the first game to subvert the rebels, the wildlife, even the combine-- The player character Aiden in turn is (arguably) less badass then Clone cop precisely because they modified him to be more loyal, taking away some of that incredible will and tenacity to try and keep him under wraps. This is proven in the there will be darkness ending where Aiden is mowed down like a standard grunt as soon as his memories/what makes him himself are taken from him.

THE WILSON ENDING IS THE CANON ENDING. THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE.

Wilson is such a fucking important support friend for Aiden because he actually gets the chance to talk with something that isn't a human and is very sympathetic. Aiden goes from being fed up with him and using him as a survival tool to being genuinely concerned for him over the course of the game, Wilson is at first just a way for Bad cop to escape the lab beneath arbiet and maybe pick up supply caches scattered across the other arbiet facilities and sure MAYBE that's the only reason that Aiden brings him along at first but Wilson is very nice and sympathetic and he doesn't judge Aiden and it just. Gives Aiden a chance to rant about his feelings and open up and remember things instead of taking medication and bottling all of his emotions up. Wilson in turn is just thankful to escape the labs beneath arbiet and maybe have a chance at becoming an administrator AI one day if Aiden uploads him into the arbiet AI mainframe!!!! And the coolest part out of all of this is that clone cop only used Wilson as a tool and didn't really care about him but someone like Wilson is exactly what he needed to start healing!!! And the fact that Wilson is able to infiltrate the combine network undetected and free Aiden from the Combine when he's captured out of unconditional love and the fact that "hes da boss" is fucking GREATI am just fucking! Going insane!!! Its so well written!

In entropy zero 3 wilson and aiden will destroy the combine forever and victor sixty will also be there and he and Aiden will get married (real)

[blood-and-pizza]

I've long since come to the realization that Freddy Fazbear isn't the first bear I was obsessed with in my life. There have been many other bears before him, and I'd like to talk about that if I may.

I was born in 1985, so Care Bears was definitely around then. I mostly watched the cartoons growing up. I didn't own any Care Bear dolls or merch. Instead, my big obsession as a toddler was a different bear.

Teddy Ruxpin was my religion as a toddler. I watched the cartoon and had all the VHS tapes. I had Teddy and his tapes and books, and I even had his best friend, Grubby. The lore of Teddy Ruxpin's world fascinated me. It still does. I genuinely wish I could reboot the cartoon personally so it can finally get more than one season. Oh, and I had a Baby Teddy Ruxpin doll that talked when you squeezed its hand. Dad told me the only way he could tell I was asleep at night was when Baby Teddy stopped talking.

I also watched The Muppets a great deal growing up. Poor Fozzie Bear. I related to him because he tried so hard to please people, and he got heckled and bullied for it. Imagine being an autistic little girl in the 90's, when you were undiagnosed because autism wasn't widely recognized or understood back then, and you're desperately trying to figure out the illogical and insane culture of neurotypicals. You bend over backwards trying to please everyone, but no matter how hard you try, no matter what you say, no matter how desperately you stand up for yourself, everyone sees you as a crybaby, a joke, and a target for abuse. Maybe that sounds really heavy, and it is. The point I'm making is that little me was really going through it, so when I saw Fozzie getting heckled or abused, I saw myself in him and really hated seeing him suffer. Also, I LOVED Muppet Babies and the early Muppet movies as a kid. I had Muppet Babies toys as a child, including a Christmas-themed Baby Fozzie I got from McDonald's.

Yogi Bear was another bear I genuinely liked. I remember the disaster that was "Yo! Yogi". If you don't know what that show is, prepare yourself for the most painfully 90's cashgrab cartoon ever produced. I prefer classic Yogi shorts and any old Hanna Barbera films that feature him. I'm still not sure what the deal is with Boo Boo. Why is he so small? Anyway... I've watched some of the Jellystone series and really like how they treat ALL the characters on that show, including Yogi. I need to catch up on that series...

Being a 90's kid, of COURSE I watched Gummi Bears as a kid. That theme song slapped! And I loved pretending to drink Gummi berry juice and "bouncing" around the room. My favorite character back then was Gruffy. For some reason, he reminded me of my father... or what I wished my father could be. I know that might sound silly. I haven't watched Gummi Bears in a very long time. I don't know how I'd feel about Gruffi now... I do know, however, that even as a child, I found Gusto Gummi very attractive. I have no comments on the others since I can't remember a damn thing.

Another Disney cartoon I was very obsessed with was Darkwing Duck. For a good chunk of my life, I was in the Darkwing Duck fandom. There is a bear character on that show who I'm actually secretly fond of... Vladimir Goudenov Gryzlikoff is a bear with a Russian accent, and the chief agent of SHUSH, personally assisting Chief J. Gander Hooter and even standing in for him when need be. He, as a stickler for proper SHUSH procedure, exists solely to be a pain in the ass for wildcard Darkwing Duck. Darkwing, of course, is a pain in the ass to him in return. BOTH are equally stubborn men who actually make a decent team when they cooperate. They're amazing foils for each other. I guess you could say they're frenemies? Yeah.

Those are all the bears I can think of off the top of my head. If I remember any others, I'll follow up with another post.

[spooky-something]

What allegories (alcoholism, classism, social pressure/repression etc) do you prefer reading into The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde and what are your personal headcanons?

MAJOR SPOILERS TO ANYONE WHO HAS YET TO READ THE NOVELLA (Even though it's old as hell 💀💔)

When reading it, initially, definitely got a LOT of strong allegories for drug/substance use/abuse, which was definitely something fascinating, as we've seen it happen around us a lot of our life, and based on what we know, it really did fit a lot on how Jekyll acted during the story

However, the take of it being about things such as being transgender/homosexual, or social norms, or even the stigma on how neurotypical allistic people perceive neurodivergent (this is including everything besides ADHD, too, as I think people tend to forget any mental illness is part of neurodivergence, and not just ADHD) autistic people as "bad" or "savage" or all of these ableist stereotypes is a fascinating take we adore too, as it resonates with us a lot harder than substance use and addiction

Yet, I do truly believe the strongest and most accurate of the themes in the novella are in fact the ones referencing the aforementioned substance use/addiction/abuse, solely for the fact that Jekyll is able to recognize that this would be something he can control (unlike the other things we've mentioned) had he not began this, and that this thing he'd placed upon himself had actually caused severe damaged to all around him (not to mention himself)

Yet, since it snow balled so far that he has, essentially lost all control, it results, in the end, with him commiting suicide via overdose in hopes of preventing more damage (this could also be seen as him desperately needing a high that he ends up killing himself, although, that would be far different from what the text actually says)

To us, it just makes more sense this is the message than the other ones, though they're all fascinating takes

As for headcanons, I personally headcanon Jekyll as Aroace spec and gay, Hyde as Aroace entirely, Utterson as gay, and Lanyon and Poole as either either token straights or bisexuals

Honestly, kinda forgot the rest of the cast 💀

One thing that we don't really consider a headcanon, since it's not the message of the text at all, though something we just like, because it gives us comfort and a fraction of representation we don't have, is that Jekyll/Hyde are part of an OSDD-1B sys, and that the drug never really did anything, besides trigger out Hyde (and allow alternation of his body), who'd been there the entire time, and Jekyll just had no idea, because he had no memory of any sort of vivid trauma (courtesy of Hyde)

Also like to think Hyde isn't evil, because let's be honest... And old man and a young girl??? Those are like... The two most annoying types of people to deal with... Probably deserved it, dude /sat

I'd stamp them near or to death, too, dude... /J

But, yeah, would never truly say that they ARE an OSDD-1B system, since it's just not canon, but in my personal AU or whatever you wanna call it, they're a good representation system

Oh, also, Hyde is definitely a cry baby, that dude cries himself to sleep after losing anything ever, or dealing with the slightest insult, dude has a GLASS ego...

Some could even say that of a scientist's... /J /ref

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #298

…I took 1040 pictures on the way to the funeral for M's grandmother. I'm sad that I only get to include 30 of them.

It was about a 2 hour car trip to the place where the funeral was being held. On the way up, M put on all of the songs by The Megas; he and I sang the songs together in the car, and it was awesome. I've written about The Megas before; their songs are based on the music of the original MegaMan games. Their themes include things like breaking robots free from slavery, fighting against corruption and violence, and being made to be a weapon. I think you'd find a bunch of their songs to be extremely relatable; listen to the lyrics, and you'll understand why, I'm sure. Lemme pull up a few for ya...

...Those two above really should be combined into a single song.

Here's a few more...

...I think you'll find this one particularly poignant:

Here's a couple more:

And this one in particular...

...By far, I think my favorite is this one, though:

...The lyrics of this one. I find them profound and inspirational. It is something that acknowledges the difficulty of the things, and yet urges you to take one more step forward.

M loved his grandmother very much, but towards the end, they had a bit of a falling out; as it turns out, she is a bit too okay with things like racism and nationalism for comfort. This realization left a very sour taste in M's mouth, and though he still loves her, they didn't speak for a very long time, and the bond kinda frayed apart from there.

Naturally, M was sad at her passing. His feelings on it are maybe a bit complicated. And that's all right. J and I will be here to support him through it - whatever he needs from us, we'll make sure he gets.

We went to lunch at a local Irish pub. But the town we had to go to is rather... hrrrm... how to describe in a way you'll understand, given your lack of historical and cultural context...

...Essentially, it's a town full of folks who think that brown-skinned people, immigrants, and non-cisgender and non-straight folks are bad. There was a TV in the restaurant we went to that played some very outlandish political advertisements; one of the slogans we heard that made us retch a little on the inside was, "Kamala Harris is for they/them, not you!"

...For reasons I don't fully understand, lots of people in my country have a HUGE problem with transgender people, and that's reflected in that crazy slogan. Some of the people I know and love are transgender, and it's really sad to think that there's an alarming number of people who'd like to see them erased from existence.

...The kinds of people who live in towns like these also have problems with things like "giving medical treatment to incarcerated people", "helping struggling families so they don't starve or end up homeless", and "welcoming people from war-torn places so they can find peace and safety". They have problems with A LOT more things than just these; most of those "problems" revolve around the notion that people other than straight, white, financially stable, cisgender male, able-bodied, neurotypical Christian Americans exist. This thing, in and of itself, is one of the ways that the scarcity/competition mindset manifests - they don't wanna see those they consider "outsiders" get helped while they themselves are struggling because they think "help" is a finite resource that they, themselves, are unworthy of receiving. It's a complicated topic outside the scope of today's letter; maybe I'll cover it some other time.

...In any case, it's scary because most people, including everyone in my house and almost everyone I know, do not fit that very narrow definition of what is "acceptable" to these kinds of folks. I grew up around people like this, and when I got out, I had a lot of awful stuff to unlearn; I understand the mechanics of how people end up getting warped into fearing and hating their brothers and sisters who look and think and do things differently than they do. It comes about as a complicated interaction between generational trauma and the almost cult-like tendencies of large communities of abusive, toxic people.

...I feel badly for them because I know all too well how difficult it is to escape entire circles full of abusive, toxic people. I am going to explain the mechanics so you'll understand, but... these mechanics are ugly and cover a lot of sad, scary, and troubling things, so if you don't wanna continue reading, I understand. In any case, escaping is almost like trying to break up with a toxic partner (this is also unimaginably difficult!), except... instead of it just being your partner, it's your entire family and everyone they know and everyone you know. Often, escaping circles like these involves needing to wholly remove yourself from everyone you used to know in favor of finding an entirely new circle of healthy people.

...Except that's also a challenge, because when you leave such pervasive toxicity, you don't have ANY of the skills needed to interact successfully with healthy people, and as a result, most of them will find you insufferable, because they don't understand why you are the way you are; how can they? Most healthy people have no idea what it's like to be steeped in generational systems of abuse that are designed to keep you locked in perpetual fear and servitude to whomever your brain is conditioned to recognize as "in charge".

...For a long time, the person that my brain recognized as basically "god" was my mother. I depended on her for everything, because she kept me tied down with all her unrealistic expectations of me in order to make sure I didn't have any real freedom - though I don't think that this was conscious on her part. Nonetheless, my mother abused the power dynamic between us, threatening to send me back to my father's house to get hurt whenever I didn't live up to whatever she wanted from me at any given time. In a situation like this where mother says vile, horrific shit like "bomb the desert until it's glass" and "don't ever date a black man", and disagreeing will make you fall out of favor enough to be put in literal physical danger... you agree with what mother says. OR ELSE.

...In those days, I didn't have another frame of reference outside of the abuse I suffered at my father's house, and as far as I was concerned, my mother was the one who deigned to "save" me from that awful place, so I eagerly tried to lap up everything she said and incorporate it into my brain as though she is the Supreme Authority on Everything and The Super Smartest Person Ever. I was conditioned to believe that I owed her unconditional obedience and agreement with everything she says and does in return for the fact that she gave me food, a place to sleep, and clothing. I imagine you went through basically the same thing with all the bullshit and lies you were fed at Shinra. I imagine you were made to feel like a burden, and that you had to make up for it, or something similar.

...I'm glad I know better now. There's still so much that I'm trying to unlearn. But still... I'm extremely lucky to have escaped AT ALL. I'm extremely lucky to have found people who were patient enough with me to teach me new things and to help cleanse my brain of the nasty, racist, sexist, bigoted, nationalistic shit that was forced into my ears and down my throat. I'm extremely lucky that they kept persisting with doing that, even when I was fool enough to resist their efforts to help me.

...The people who are still bigoted are people who have not yet been able to escape. And the reasons for that are simple. Lots of people who come from situations like mine have it ground into their skulls that anyone outside of the known social group hates you and wants to destroy you (this is projection at its finest). And so you're given a choice - oppose your known social group and have them AND the outside world hate you, or keep your head down, don't make waves, and agree with the status quo.

...I've already covered the notion in previous letters that most people would rather be dead than be considered unlovable by their known social group. And so for a lot of people trapped in situations like mine, the choice seems clear, because from the inside of that situation, it doesn't look like there's really a choice at all.

The other part of this equation is the application of violence whenever you're considered "in the wrong". And so people from situations like mine, often enough, will get defensive and dig their heels in when they're called out on their shit, because they've been conditioned to expect to receive rejection, emotional violence, or even physical violence whenever someone thinks they're in the wrong in some way. So the strategy most often used is to try, frantically, to prove that they don't deserve to be hit, as opposed to seeing a different perspective and changing their minds. A frightened brain cannot learn or absorb new information efficiently!! This is important!!

...Also, for lots of people in situations like mine, there isn't anyone to teach you anything; there are only people who will hurt you for being wrong. And so by the time you get out of that kind of horrifying gauntlet, you get out into the real world outside of your cult-like social circle, and you can't imagine that people aren't going to try to crush your skull into the floor (metaphorically or literally) for disagreeing with them.

Imagining being taught gently instead of simply being punished until you "get it right", after living in a situation like mine for a long time, is kind of like trying to imagine sticking your bare hand on a red-hot stove and not getting burned. Such a thing is unthinkable, right? And it applies to everything - EVERYTHING. And this is part of the reason why some folks get really uptight about receiving ANY kind of constructive criticism, suggestions, or feedback on anything at all.

Think about it. You take a small white child raised in a house that hates black people, and the child goes to school and meets little black children, makes friends with them and realizes, "hey, there's nothing actually wrong with black children," because obviously. Then the child goes home to tell his family, and the child is either gonna get hit a lot, or they're gonna get some equivalent of, "Well, then you're no fucking child of mine! Get away from me you morally repugnant filth!"

...There's not a whole lot that the child can do in this scenario except agree. He can run to school and tell his teacher, but teaching your child bigotry isn't outlawed here, and even physical abuse is hard to prove, and the foster care system here often leads to even worse outcomes. Even if the child is believed by the school staff, often the best that happens is the child's parents get talked to. And then once that happens, and the family realizes the child tattled... well. The child is gonna get hurt. A lot. Don't ask how I know; you don't wanna know the answer.

So the child spends their whole life psychically self-mutilating in order to survive in their environment, trying to suit the social rules so they don't get ostracized and abused. And then the child becomes an adult and gets out to "the really real world", as my mother used to like to call it. This child - now an adult - wasn't taught how to deal with big emotions; they were taught to numb out via dissociation, workaholism, risky behavior, or substance abuse.

...So they meet new people and they get confronted with the fact that everything they were taught by the people who were supposed to love them and care for them is wrong. Just flat-out wrong. The adult child now has to contend with the notion that they've twisted themselves up into pretzels trying to suit their adult overlords for NOTHING. It was all done IN VAIN. And this comes with a hefty dose of grieving - grieving that they don't know how to fucking do because they weren't taught how to do it, because the rule in houses like these is, "fuck you and fuck your stupid little fucking feelings". So they get stuck in some of the first stages of that grief - shock and denial. Emphasis on the denial.

Add in the fact that children from situations like mine are often taught that they're fundamentally bad and a pain in the ass, and therefore they owe their parents for putting a roof over their head and food in their stomach and clothes on their back. Fuck, in houses like the one I grew up in, the notion is that you owe your parents for the simple fact that they even allow you to exist at all. Disrespect in this context is absolutely fucking unacceptable, and disagreeing with ANYTHING taught to you by your parents is considered MASSIVE disrespect. Add in the anticipation of punishment for disagreement to the mix. The result is terror.

...Then add in the fact that people from situations like mine often get conditioned to believe that those outside of the known social group are morally inferior, terrible, awful people who are not to be trusted. So from here - do you go with the beliefs fed to you by the people you feel you owe everything to and feel are the only ones who will ever love you? Or do you consider the new perspective brought in by the "outsider"? Most people are unable to choose the second option, and it doesn't have anything to do with them being "bad people" or "weak-willed".

Factor in all these things, and try to understand WHY it's so difficult for folks from situations like mine to change their mind about ANYTHING. And it SUCKS, because... there are a lot of people who could be helped just like how I was helped. Bigotry is not the natural state of a human; it shows up as a result of being steeped in it since childhood and being conditioned to believe that your options are either to believe in the bigotry or face a hostile world alone.

...M's grandmother didn't escape before her death. And that's really sad, because she was, as far as I could tell, an otherwise kind and loving person who always tried to do the right thing. It's just... she grew up and lived for a long time in a situation in which she was misguided about "the right thing", because the version of "the right thing" that she was taught is dependent on the notion that the "inferiors" must suffer.

...I know how I was helped to escape from all this shit. I'm still trying to think of a way to make it so everyone can escape. I want everyone to be able to recover from the shit they were taught as children. I want every single neurotype (yes, even those neurotypes with problems with the portions of the brain responsible for empathy!) to have the support an infrastructure they need to succeed. I want everyone to be happy and to thrive. And I know we can build a world like that. It's just... I'm not smart enough to know how to replicate what was done for me on a mass scale. And also... the way it will work will necessarily have to be different for each human, because we all come from different childhoods and different walks of life, and we all have different brains. I'm not fool enough to think that what worked for me will work for everyone.

...Sometimes I look at the state of things - all the beautiful people hurting and killing each other - and for what??? And... I don't know what to do. I want everyone to keep existing, but I don't want anyone to have to suffer senselessly. It's a great big huge mess with lots of moving parts, and I get daunted and depressed if I stare at it for too long.

In any case, we're home now. We were out for a long time. I rested for a little while, and then I went through the photos and selected the 30 best ones, and then I started writing whatever popped into my head, and suddenly it's almost time for bed already. Whoops.

I'm a little tired from having had to be in the presence of M's parents (there are reasons for this; maybe I'll explain another time...), and I'm not ready for tomorrow to start tomorrowing. But the passage of time keeps happening even when I don't want it to. Oh well. I'll try to make the best of it. Maybe I'll find something fun to do.

Sephiroth. Maybe you heard the songs I put up at the top and found them relatable. But you gotta remember that you're not a weapon or a machine. You're a man - a squishy mammal - and you've got choices and you can do good things with those choices. Even when it looks like you don't have choices, you still have choices. If you don't know what those choices are, ask someone who is further along with the healing than you. I can help you a little in that regard. And so can Angeal and Zack, I'm sure. J and M also know a lot. And so do most of the people in my current social circle. You can count on any of us.

It's never "you are who you are and that's all there is to it". No one is born bad. No one is "designed that way". You can't remove the mistakes you've made or take back the damage you've caused in the past, but you can always learn from these things and try not to repeat them moving forward. And you can do that, even if the people you've hurt can't forgive you.

Your goodness as a person and your capacity to grow from past things is not defined by whether or not the people you've wronged can forgive you. These things are defined solely by the effort you're willing to put in, because nothing is ever set in stone. Brains are plastic and malleable. All destructive learned behaviors can be unlearned, given the right infrastructure and support.

The dreams of a normal life you had as a boy are not things that "can't ever be". You just have to be open to the possibility, and to make choices that will lead you towards that dream. You've got lots and lots of people who will help you along the way; you don't have to do it alone. You've got plenty of shoulders to cry on - at least 3, which is a lot more than what most have!!

As for what you're "supposed to be", that's also easy - you're supposed to be someone who eases suffering and brings beauty and light and love to the world in all the ways that only you know how to do. And that's it. That's all anyone is supposed to be. It doesn't matter how you came to be; you know what Mewtwo says - "The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." And it is true. What will you do with your gift?

You can change your destiny. You and lots of others have helped me to change mine. Maybe things didn't turn out in the typical way for you, and maybe the path forward seems hazy, but you can still make your own history; I am documenting the process of making mine with each letter I write to you.

Continue. Continue finding the best and most loving way forward, even when you don't know what it is, because you're more resilient than you think you are. The work of recovery is difficult and long and arduous, but it's worth it. It's so worth it. And waiting for you on the other side of it, when you're ready, are the hands and arms of countless people who love you - not for what you can do, not for the power you wield, and not for what you look like, but for who you are. For the person inside your heart. For the way you think and feel and react to things.

I'll be waiting for you to return to us, singing little lullabies as I always do. Because we miss you, and we're looking forward to seeing you again.

I love you. Please stay safe out there, okay? I'll write again tomorrow. I'm not ready for tomorrow, but I'm gonna try to make something good out of it anyways. I hope you'll do the same.

Your friend, Lumine

[stickrrpop]

neurodivergent lmk headcanons

( please keep in mind that op is autistic/adhd, and has dyscalculia plus dyspraxia. if i dont go into depth about other neurodivergencies, it is because i dont not have them. thank you! )

★ okay let’s start off with pigsy. honestly i see him as a neurotypical who is really knowledgeable about nd stuffs. OR he is autistic and has a special interest in cooking. honestly you could take it either way. but anywhom he ALWAYS carries a small bag with him, obviously for bandaids yeah but he also brings sensory headphones, fidget/stim toys, or small and soft stuffies. sandy definitely helped him with what to bring though.

★ now sandy, he’s either got adhd or is neurotypical like pigsy. like i really just see these two as the good nt friends. but to elaborate on the adhd hc. he on and off hyperfixates on tea. when he does fixate on the drink, he buys SO MUCH TEA. there’s usually two cabinets full in his house when he’s done. if he’s with someone and they’re having a sensory meltdown, he’ll try to scurry them out of where they are as soon as possible.

★ QXT (mk, it’s just the shortened version of qi xiaotian) is autistic/adhd and has dyspraxia. just, really poor balance. and with the combo of both autism AND adhd AND dyspraxia, he ended up really bad at following schedules (As we’ve sorta seen in the show). his special interest is well, monkey king. HE ALSO STIMS BY SNAPPING HIS FINGERS!! he messes with his hands a lot, he’d also jumps from one foot to the other to stim. and he totally does flappy arms, he’s very energetic and so “bigger” stims are usually what he does. OH AND HE HAS DYSCALCULIA. i saw the “and 2 + 2 = 3 ! the third ring!” scene and ran with it.

★ Red Son has tourettes and is very much autistic mhmhm. it’s a known symptom (a small percentage of people with tourettes) to have uncontrollable anger. here’s a great tiktok about it by the way! i dont have tourettes so i dont wanna go into depth with it !! but red son stims by playing with tiny fires, messing with the fabric of his clothes, or making hand gestures while speaking. the list goes on for his symptoms while ill probably make a separate post for. and also he repeats what people say sometimes under his breath.

★ Mei definitely has adhd and is PERHAPS autistic. she vocal stims a LOT. and flappy hands would probably be her most common stim. she really likes technology and so she probably gets hyperfixated on something new based around that every couple of weeks. she also has sensory headphones on her at all times for QXT.

★ sun wukong is definitely autistic and dyslexic. his special interest is peaches and i dont take no for an answer. (/j). he’s also horrible at social cues and understanding what personal space is but he tries his best to understand from past experiences. also NO VOLUME CONTROL. none. zero. he has a small stuffed monkey that QXT gave to him as a gift, it has the same texture as his fur and he usually stims/fidgets with it a lot.

★ macaque is also autistic, very bad at communication skills. he stims by taps his foot against the ground or clanking his teeth together gently. macaque 100% wears sensory headphones, mostly because of how LOUD everything is with his six ears, but also again, for sensory issues. he also really hates bright lights.

★ yin and jin are both autistic and have dyspraxia. you cant tell me they dont. they really like to stim by saying each other’s names. 

★ nezha is also autistic. i dont have much reasoning quite yet because so far he only has like four minutes of screen time lmao, but he is! he talks very bluntly and likes to get his point across. he stims by tapping his fingers together and spinning his staff around. (doesnt have to be anything fancy, could just be a simply twirl)

★ TANG IS AUTISTIC. we all saw this one coming. his special interest is history, and also he infodumps a lot. he maybe also has dyspraxia, he has bad balance coordination skills, you can just tell!! he really likes to fidget with his glasses/scarf. he also taps his fingers on any nearby objects a lot. 

[primeministerofantarctica]

If you don't mind me asking (and if you do plz ignore <3) but is there any autistic rep that you personally would like to see in media?

ohh good question! hmm... personally I'd like to see more explicit rep in children's and family media that's not "word of god" or "character that shows up for one episode to teach the main character about autism" (I don't mind the former but your average ten-year-old disney liker doesn't have twitter so it'd be lost on them.)

for example, one of my favorite canon autistic characters is aj gadgets from the pbs kids show hero elementary. while they don't outright say it until season 2, it's pretty obvious if you know what you're looking for? he flaps his hands when stressed out, he hates the feeling of wet clothes, he has a clear special interest in other superheros, he doesn't get sarcasm, he has noise-canceling headphones as part of his costume and he's shown putting them on when things get too loud. and MOST importantly, he's one of the main characters! appearing in almost every single episode!

on that note, I don't care how realistic it is, more stuff where the autistic character is actually liked by the other characters. I like entrapta and the guy from the good doctor well enough, but the way the other characters treated them was sooo :(. "oh noo how can he be a surgeon are you sure it's safe" bro i'm not an expert but i don't think it's within the realm of physical impossibility that autistic surgeons exist irl.

more characters in genres that aren't realistic coming-of-age stories. more fantasy/ sci fi/ mysteries/ etc. and yes, make the speculative fiction characters explicit too. you don't have to use the same word if it's a non-earth setting and you don't want to break the illusion, but plenty of other languages have descriptions you can pull from! like in japanese, the kanji for 自閉症 is "oneself, closed, illness". or in te reo māori, the word they use means "in their own time and space". make up your own name if you want, get creative!

other stuff, in general - more nonverbal/ aac using characters in prominent roles. more characters who are intellectually disabled or even just have average intelligence, less "savants". more characters with "useless" special interests instead of maths or science disciplines (more autistics that can't do math, please im dying here /lh). characters that are love interests, or best friends, or main characters. characters that have personalities outside of being a walking DSM manual.

this is already long af but some other characters I like-

renee from pixar's loop.

woo young-woo from extraordinary attorney woo. (i've only seen a few episodes so far but i like what i saw.)

matilda from everything's gonna be okay.

hikaru azuma from the manga with the light: raising an autistic child. yes it's from the point of view of the neurotypical mother but if you manage to get past the first volume and it's "oh no my child is autistic how can this be :(" it's...pretty sweet? the mom isn't portrayed as a saint for "putting up" with her kid, she does love him but the narrative isn't afraid to call her out when she makes a mistake.

ester from daughter of the deep. am i biased since this is a rick riordan book? well yes but still i'll be the first in line to watch the movie adaptation.

also more characters that are definitely autistic but the writers are either cowards or somehow, inexplicably, didn't put two and two together until someone else told them and understandably were pretty nervous about messing up to actually make it canon (they're just undiagnosed /j)

nonny from bubble guppies. stop saying he's depressed reddit edgebros it's just flat affect ToT

huey duck from ducktales. you had two episodes focused on how "being weird isn't bad" and "it's okay if you're wired differently". did the...did the writers just not pick up on the implications. i refuse to believe they did.

twilight sparkle from mlp:fim. pretty obvious to headcanon but i read somewhere (albeit through secondhand sources) that it was initially supposed to be canon and if that is true, that's cool af.

[werewolf-pack-system]

We have anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. We thus greatly dislike interacting with others in a multitude of situations, especially "unscripted" ones. One of the biggest ones is the doorbell. We tend to hide when we notice someone coming up to the door, then wait until they leave to go check if they left something. (There are a few who hide because they don't want to interact for other reasons, but this is the biggest/main reason I guess?)

All except for Justin. There was one day he was in front and we were home alone and the doorbell rang. I (the one who's probably most affected*) began freaking out internally, but Justin just casually opened the door, took the package, wished them a good day, closed the door, and then "Was that really so hard??!" at me lol.

We like to joke that Justin's actually neurotypical because he's affected by practically none of our conditions, or only has it very mildly. He actually surprised himself on a separate occasion when he realized he actually does experience synesthesia, because he'd thought he didn't. Turns out it's just a lot less noticeable for him.

We also have a member who is able to handle sensory distress way better. He has a much higher tolerance level, so stuff that would be absolutely awful and miserable for another might just be mildly annoying to him.

We also aren't sure if we have antisocial personality disorder or just have traits, or are confusing similar traits that actually are part of something else, but Hydra definitely has whatever it is more strongly than the rest of us.

* Great qualities for the one in front most often /lh /j

question 38: Do your system members experience any conditions or illnesses differently? Perhaps it affects the whole system, or maybe it affects certain headmates more? How do these manifest in your system?

[cc-tinslebee]

Hey!! Real quick -- thank you @demetriandelibinaryboyfriends for the tag!!

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

I wasn’t not expecting this in the slightest— I decided to watch Cobra Kai on a whim in January while my mom and I were dying my hair, and somehow it became my second hyperfixation of the year?? Wack??

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

Actually, my first introduction to the Karate Kid was the 2010 film with Jaden Smith. It came out when I was younger, so I used to watch it religiously. Then after watching The Outsiders in eighth grade, my dad convinced me to watch the first two original Karate Kid movies before they were kicked off Netflix. Lowkey, the entire time, I was like, “Johnny Cade??” I still haven’t seen the third film because Netflix DVD is homophobic (/j), but I didn’t really get into it until Cobra Kai.

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:

🎶Demetri and Eli, binary booooyfrieeends brooootheeers.🎶 You already know. Somehow relate to both of them a little too much— also Moon!! My beloved!!

Favorite ship:

Elimetri, MoonPiper, and Samiguel all have my heart 🥺

Underrated character:

*takes out a list that hits the floor and keeps rolling* Okay so—

I’m just playing— for underrated-underrated characters, Moon because she’s overshadowed by Yasmine and misogynists, definitely Chris because he’s a legend, and Bert/Nate because the wiki always says ‘some kid’ in reference to them which is like ://

But Moon and Demetri are 100% my biggest underrated-even-though-they’re-a-somewhat-big-character characters. Moon is not a villain and Demetri is not the worst, thank you very much. *points at Reddit and The Cheat Sheet* y’all are just misogynistic and neurotypical.

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

MoonPiper is kinda underrated, I think? A good chunk of the fandom is adamant on it, which is great, but in the lense of the show, not so much right now. Also torisha kinda! My girls!!

And Shawbby!! Let Robby have a bond outside of this karate nonesense!! It’s what he deserves!!

We’re not gonna talk about my season one-exclusive Moon/Eli/Demetri ship, we’ve already been over this—

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the leg, babey!! I’m definitely on the side of @demetriandelibinaryboyfriends about how it’s genuinely amazing how Demetri just took the move Eli used against him and ran with it. Yes, he is petty, and we love him for it. Me too tbh

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

Dork man TKK-era Daniel had the best fashion sense tho

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

At first, I was going to say I couldn’t think of anyone, but now!! Bring back my boy Freddy Fernandez!! He totally disappeared after the beginning of the first film, and I wanna see him again!! Also Ali’s friend Susan!

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Any Moon & Demetri scene, and I am once again asking them to pay rent— also 100% the Valley Fest scene where Eli pulls Demetri onstage. Iconic of them.

Also, lowkey, any Torisha scene. Somehow so unintentionally gay?? I legitimately thought they were telling me that Aisha had a crush on her??

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

Lowkey, please gods no. Didn’t he appear, like, one (1) time in season three? I think it’s good that they have a comic relief character that’s involved in the conflict by extension, but not actively involved. It’s great to see the LaRusso family, two of them in the midst of this big fight, another getting roped into it and being extra passionate about her husband and daughter being hurt, and then you have the youngest child, serenely playing video games and not giving any fucks

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

I second Bri’s remark — having done karate in the past, Cobra Kai would eat me alive, and I don’t trust Johnny to teach another neurodivergent queer kid. I could probably stand to gain from Daniel’s patience; I’d definitely be Demetri in that situation.

What’s your training montage song?

Dude, I have an entire playlist that I work out to, and I’m very indecisive, so I’ll just say my my main hype song, House of Wolves.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

You already KNOW I’m saying Kickin It. I won’t go in-depth because I already have, but the absolute power they’d have. Demetri and Milton, our favourite sassy Jewish nerds and their aggressively cool (respective) boyfriends Hawk and Jerry. Kim vibing with Sam like they deserve (and give me that good Kim & Bert cousins content, hand it over 🤲🏻). Miguel talking with Jerry in Spanish and, like, idolising Jack!! And you already know the comedic opportunites the Falafel Phil/Anoush thing could have.

Not sure if y’all have done this yet, and don’t feel pressured to if you don’t want to, but I figured I’d tag you folks!! @spidercrush3 @brattycobra @latetoalltheparties @binary-boyfriends4life @transdaniellarusso

[xianglingslesbian]

izuki, riko, midorima and mibuchi for the character ask please 💗💗

ithank u for the ask!! ❤️❤️ i’ve answered izuki and riko here

Midorima

Why I like them: midorima is easily willing to change and grow, he changes himself so so much and is ready to accept his mistakes. though he seems proud, he’s willing to lay that aside and change his worldview. i know this reading sounds strange but if you look at his character arc and story, midorima is the miracle member that always had the most open mindset. he may not like kuroko, but he’s humble enough to respect him. he might be a bit arrogant but he’s also 100% ready to accept new things. he’s also so hardworking and clever and just- he’s a great character!

Why I don’t: midorima was complicit in the 111-11 thing and didn’t show much remorse for it. he can also be very selfish and doesn’t often consider others’ needs (although i feel like he can definitely grow from this - and does go out of his way to help people)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): s3 e6, the sky-direct shot. that shit’s just so good it encapsulates basically everything i love about mido! he’s learned so much and come so far and is now relying on his friends. also the amount of work that went into that pass is just *sobs*

Favorite season/movie: s2, i loved his interactions with kagami and the way he helped him without showing it. it shows that midorima while often selfish can be selfless when he wants to

Favorite line: “No one on this team could ever be useless.” it just shows how much growing and learning midorima has done and how much he’s changed. i cried at this line, i kid you not

Favorite outfit: his orange uniform he looks like a carrot and i love it <3

OTP: midokaga okay i was sold when kagami wrote his name and number ;) on mido’s hand. also the angst that can come out of mido considering kaga his rival but kaga’s one and only true rival being aomine...

Brotp: midotaka. i have the feeling that if midorima ever discovers memes it’s over for the rest of the world

Head Canon: how dare you ask me to pick only one /j. anyway midorima becomes captain in his 3rd year with takao as VC. i think he will mature and grow enough to be a responsible leader and will know how to push his team just right. i would’ve said “he’s neurodivergent” but like... if you are headcanoning midorima as neurotypical in 2020 idk what to tell you

Unpopular opinion: midorima’s oha asa isn’t ‘annoying’ or a ‘funny quirk’, it’s his hyperfixation and that’s great! he derives happiness from it so the fandom needs to stop making a joke of it

A wish: we get some midorima backstory - i need to know what his sister’s like. i dont care about his parents tho bc i know that fujimaki will never make mido’s trans lesbian moms canon

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: mido ever losing his confidence in himself. that’s a very beautiful thing about him and i think if he lost his confidence he would be totally shattered - it’s what keeps him moving forward

5 words to best describe them: “best broccoli/daikon/carrot man”

My nickname for them: mido/tarou

Mibuchi

Why I like them: lots of reasons! mibuchi’s very interesting as a character, he’s sassy and smart but also gentle with those he cares for. it’s lovely

Why I don’t: he can be a bit of an ass to those he doesn’t really know/opposing teams. also, i know this is stereotyping on fujimaki’s part and i fucking hate him for it, but it felt so wrong when mibu tried to ‘flirt’ with hyuuga. (glasses-bastard’s reaction is another story entirely, but... let’s not go there my bp is high enough already)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): sometime in s3, the first time he shot ‘void’. it was so terrifying and electrifying, just fantastic

Favorite season/movie: s3 since he only showed up there lmao

Favorite line: “I’ll show you something nice.” mibuchi respected koganei enough to stop holding back here, which was amazing <3

Favorite outfit: the rakuzan school uniform he truly looks awesome in it

OTP: kogamibu (i have a thing for rivals adhskjdshdkj)

Brotp: akamibu, i love them being silly tgt as they don’t have to be dignified around each other

Head Canon: mibuchi is partially deaf and uses sign language with nebuya and hayama

Unpopular opinion: his last game haircut is pretty great actually he looks cute

A wish: he gets to not be stereotyped lmao

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: hyuuga getting within 10 metres of him ever again. ever

5 words to best describe them: “sass, class, will kick ass”

My nickname for them: mibu/reo

[actuallyadhd]

Is it possible to have a child when you have ADHD/ADD? Sometimes I feel like since it's so hard (impossible) to organize myself and my life, to actually attempt taking care of another human being would be impossible. Yes, I would not be alone, but I would still be the mother, and just imaginating that terrifies me.

Sent July 3, 2019

It’s definitely possible; lots of ADHDers are parents, including me. I feel woefully inadequate most of the time because I struggle with providing my son with the structure he needs, but I think also that I will, overall, be a good mother because I know how to deal with ADHD--he’s only 4, so too young to be diagnosed (I refuse to even have him assessed before he’s 7), but given the genetics on both sides I will be surprised if he’s neurotypical.

I think a lot depends on how much you want to be a parent and how much support you have, not just from your partner but from your extended family. My parents live about 90 minutes away, so we visit them and they visit us, which is really helpful. The parents of one of my local friends have also informally adopted my son as their grandchild, plus one of my other friends has a son about 18 months older than mine, and the boys are great friends.

It’s definitely daunting, and it’s not easy, but it’s worth it. So if you want to be a parent, don’t let fear hold you back. Learn about parenting and so on, and make an educated decision.

-J

[kayotic-catgirl]

RIDE THE CYCLONE ENJOYERS!!!!!! ITS DONE!!!!! MY AUTISM EVIDENCE IS DONE!!!!! I DIDN'T DO JANE DOE BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW SHE'S AUTISM BUT WOOOOOO DONE!!!!!!!

warning: i am absolutely HORRIBLE at explaining things and i like projecting onto fictional characters!!!! i also cannot guarantee this will be a good explanation but i'm trying my best!! also a lot of these are stretches but look man im tired and bad at explaining myself okay

Ocean O'connell Rosenberg

For most of the musical, Ocean sticks to what she thinks is right very strictly, experiencing frustration when others don't share those same beliefs (i.e: ocean appearing grossed out when constance mentions pornography and disliking that noel had swore in the chorus of his song)

She's Literally A “Gifted Kid”, We All Know Gifted Kids Are Never Neurotypical

Can accidentally come off as insensitive often (i.e: the entire “what the world needs” song, accidentally insulting constance during her speech before her song, accidentally insulting EVERYONE while trying to talk about how much she loves them all)

You can't tell me she isn't constantly masking okay I just know.

Infodumping (i.e: the “AND THAT IS WHY NOBODY SHOULD HAVE A LIBRARY CARD!” segment)

Noel Gruber

Was literally stated to be different from the kids around him in his childhood

His special interest is France I’m sorry I don't make the rules (i.e: acted out french movies as a child and worked at taco bell to save money for moving to france)

Studies have found links between autism and creativity, which makes a lot of sense for Noel since he was an aspiring poet

I’m definitely projecting but the quote “Mum tells me I gotta try to…blend in, so I tried really hard to…”dial it back”. I had to.” is SO autism. (i may or may not strongly relate to him because we have the same experiences with being queer and those experiences also remind me of my autistic experiences but shhhhhh)

I know a lot of this can translate back to the childhood experience of being gay, but autistic people are more likely to be sexually diverse as well!! Therefore, I chose to believe its both.

To add on, if you happen to be an enjoyer of the trans Noel headcanon (i’ve been seeing it a lot lately so thought i’d add this), autistic people are more likely to be transgender, especially under the nonbinary umbrella (may or may not be propagating one of my noel hcs here by mentioning the nonbinary part haha.,.,.)

Feeling “out of place”

i am autistic and i relate to him so he's also autistic (this part is /j)

Stimming

Ricky Potts

Seeing things different than others do (i.e: finding deep meaning in the concept of pornography and his response to ocean claiming everyone is an accident)

His special interests are his religion and cats.

Again, studies have found a link between creativity and autism.

Associates things with seemingly unrelated topics (i.e: ricky’s response to ocean getting mad and saying everything is an accident)

Infodumping (i.e: refer to my previous bullet point)

Mischa Bachinski

I chose to believe him explaining the moral of Saw Five (which i recently learned is actually saw six) is infodumping

Special interest is hip hop because I Said So

Masking. He tries to appear tough, but we quickly learn that he's not, considering his catchphrase.

Just Look At Him

Stimming

i am SO sorry i don't have much for him at all if anyone wants to contribute please do i'm sorry mischa and fellow mischa enjoyers </3

Constance Blackwood

Autistic people are more likely to struggle with their sense of self worth, usually due to autistic trauma.

Masking. I could write an entire essay about Constance and how much she masks. I am probably projecting but she is known for being the nicest girl in town and over apologizes a lot, even when she doesn't mean it. This could just be my experience, but extreme politeness, subservience, and faking certain emotions are my main ways of masking and I could see a lot of that in Constance. She was taught to do this by her environment and adopted the belief that her small town is horrible because MOST PEOPLE SHE KNEW THOUGHT THAT!! Even when she lost her virginity, (or rather, was sexually assaulted. going on a bit of a tangent here but why do i see nobody talking about that?? i mean, 17 and 32?? that is DEFINITELY not consensual) she pretended to find the carney’s joke about his tattoo funny, remarking that “you should always laugh at guys jokes or they'll think you're a cow”. SHE MASKS HARDCORE. YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

THERE I HOPE MY EVIDENCE IS ENJOYABLE AND DECENT GOODBYE I KNOW THERE WASN'T MUCH BUT IM HONESTLY JUST HAPPY PEOPLE WERE INTERESTED IN MY SILLY BLORBO THOUGHTS!!!!! ALSO SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND @aroacefrog FOR HELPING ME WITH SOME OF THIS (ps: if i think of anything else i'll update the post >:33)

"jane doe is autistic--" you FOOL, EVERYONE IN RIDE THE CYCLONE IS AUTISTIC

[renegaderoots]

BASIC INFORMATION

☠┋FULL NAME: Avery J. Williams ☠┋PRONUNCIATION: A-vree ☠┋NICKNAME(S): Avy, Av, AJ ☠┋TITLE: The Sleepwalker ☠┋OCCUPATION: Drug dealer ( see also: fortune teller, singer, waiter) ☠┋~AGE: 18-28. Plot dependent. ☠┋DATE OF BIRTH: 23rd October ☠┋GENDER: Cisgender ☠┋PRONOUNS: He/Him/His ☠┋ORIENTATION: Homoromantic Homosexual ☠┋NATIONALITY: English ☠┋RELIGION: Christian ☠┋SPECIES: Human ☠┋THREAT LEVEL: Moderate (not malicious, sometimes violent, defensive and aggressive)

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

☠┋FACE CLAIM: Andy Biersack / Ash Stymest ☠┋EYE COLOUR: Light-blue ☠┋HAIR COLOUR: Naturally ginger but dyes it black ☠┋DOMINANT HAND: Right ☠┋HEIGHT: 5’4 or 162 centimeters ☠┋WEIGHT: 48 kg.   ☠┋TATTOOS:  He is literally a tattoo landscape, so describing his ink collection would take an entire century, but the roses on his hands are most notable along with a quote from Hermann Hesse’s Steppenwolf circling around his collarbone. ☠┋SCARS:  The most notable ones along with a constellation of burns are on his upper back, though there are other scarred areas as well. Most were souvenirs from an accident whereas others were self-inflicted. ☠┋PIERCINGS: one lip piercing, one nose ring ( usually wears studs), several ear piercings (Industrial, conch, auricle, upper lobe, helix, tragus, graduate lobe, smiley – honestly just ask me what part of his body isn’t pierced and we can all go home sooner) ☠┋GLASSES: Avery doesn’t need glasses.

PSYCHOLOGY INFORMATION

☠┋JUNG TYPE: INFJ ☠┋SUBTYPE: Intuitive Subtype ☠┋ENNEATYPE: 6w5 SX/SP ☠┋MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral   ☠┋TEMPERAMENT: Melancholic/Choleric ☠┋SCHEMA: (NP) Negativity/Pessimism, (MA) Mistrust/Abuse, (EP) Emotional Deprivation (form C)

☠ ┋INTELLIGENCE TYPE: Visual/Spatial Intelligence

☠┋~IQ: 110 ☠┋NEUROTYPE: Definitely not neurotypical. ☠┋AT RISK? Possibly, although I can’t say for sure at this conjuncture. Likely depression, insomnia and Biploar Disorder II, as there’s a genetic predisposition on the maternal side of his family (his great-grandma had it, along with his mother.)

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

☠┋HOMETOWN: Dartford, England, though he was born in Boston. ☠┋CURRENT:  Visual-Spatial Intelligence, Intrapersonal Intelligence, Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence ☠┋LANGUAGE(S): English ( native language), German ☠┋SOCIAL CLASS: working class ☠┋EDUCATIONAL LEVEL: GCSE ☠┋PARENT #1: John Williams ☠┋PARENT #2: Allison  (Alisa) Williams neé Little (Klein) ☠┋SIBLING(S): Samantha Williams, 24, alive, estranged

☠┋MAIN SHIP: I ship Avery with stability and getting his shit together. ☠┋RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single ☠┋CHILDREN: None

☠┋PET(S): Pet rats called Muffin, Sugar and Berry. ☠┋ADOPTED? No. ☠┋RAP SHEET? Surprisingly not, no. ☠┋PRISON TIME? No.

VICES / HABITS

☠┋SMOKES? Yes. He’s a chain smoker, in fact.   ☠┋DRINKS? Yes, excessively. Might’ve developed an addiction, though it’s unsure to know for certain as this conjuncture.   ☠┋DOES DRUGS? Only soft drugs.   ☠┋IS VIOLENT? Yes, he is. Avery’s type of violence is most often just on one level, namely the physical one. Unafraid to mess up somebody’s face twice his size, he’ll do so if and when he feels threatened – or, alternatively, when he really doesn’t like you. It’s not necessarily that he’s pone to violence, nor is he quick to hit and punch without first weighing the consequences, but it does happen. Only on rare occasions such as intimate settings is he emotionally violent if fearing abandonment.

☠┋HAS AN ADDICTION? Possibly. Alcoholism.   ☠┋IS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE? Yes. Self-harm (among which multiple suicide attempts number. Most frequently, these patterns are implemented through cutting, burning or scratching), habitual lying and high-risk reckless behavior along with excessive  promiscuity. ☠┋HABITS: swearing, smoking, cracking knuckles, a sweet tooth that’ll probably rot his teeth down to nothing one day, picking at nail polish, habitual lying, procrastination to the highest level imaginable, forgetting names of people (mostly because he doesn’t bother to remember them in the first place), purposefully argumentative, double-checks everything more often than Nolan (which is an accomplishment in and of itself bordering on obsessive), bites fingernails, snarls for no, grunts for yes and shrugs his shoulders for maybe (not the most communicative sort, obviously), drinks energy drinks and sugary stuff like water to stay away because he’s close to mortified by sleeping or the process of falling asleep (three to four hours of light sleep tops), leave him alone for a while and chances are he’ll have been playing with whatever object is in front of him for many minutes already, will use movie references to retro movies nobody knows (except maybe movie nerds themselves) when around somebody he can tolerate

☠┋HOBBIES: customizing his own clothing, drawing, sleeping in late, organizing everything to a T, cleaning, woodwork, collecting used up pencil stumps, skateboarding, street painting, collecting bibles without any attention to read through them, reading psychology books ☠┋TICS: none

☠┋OBSESSION(S): Avery is downright obsessed with establishing a thoroughly organized system and often can’t resist eliminating any and all ounce of disorder either in his flat or at the shop. He also has a great aversion towards unclean people and therefore spends a lot of time in the bathroom washing his hands. ☠┋COMPULSION(S): hoarding

MISCELLANEOUS INFORMATION

☠┋HOUSE: Slytherin ☠┋VICE: Wrath ☠┋VIRTUE: Kindness ☠┋ELEMENT: Air

☠┋ANGEL: Gabriel

☠┋MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: Sirens

☠┋ANIMAL: Scorpion

☠┋MUTATION: Invisibility, Air manipulation ☠┋WOULD SURVIVE POST-APOC? Yes.

STATUS INFORMATION

☠┋DEVELOPMENT: Developed ☠┋SHIPPING: Multiship ☠┋VERSE: Multiverse ☠┋VERSE TYPE: realism, magical realism, crime

☠┋CANON: His tattoo shop verse. ☠┋PLOTTING: Open ☠┋CREATION DATE: May 2014

 CHARACTER SUMMARY

 If you think you’ll encounter an angel because you’ve judged him by his looks alone, you will be deeply disappointed. In lieu of sweet tunes, you’ll get an earful of pirate-like swearing, profanity, and absolutely no filters. For better or worse, Avery is honest - sometimes brutally so - and doesn’t know the first thing about propriety. His morals are his pillars despite the dysfunctional mess that is his past; however, his own integrity is merciless and predominantly black or white. Regardless, you shouldn’t mistake him for level-headed or even cerebral; Avery is a complicated, contradictory clusterfuck of a person --- all white-knuckled protests aside, he is a very emotional lad, prone to anger issues, and an even poorer developed impulse control.

As somebody who became homeless when still a minor, Avery is no stranger to the ends to which some had to go in order to survive. He might not be gallant, buoyant or even very talkative, but he is humble, charitable and noticeably protective over those who have no means of defense. Nowadays, Avery stays afloat working odd jobs, the most notably one being his position as a drug dealer for the Morrison family. Beyond that, his ability to ascertain how full of shit people are has proved rather lucrative, too. In the end, he has been through too much, has seen too much and heard too much to be fazed by humanity’s depravity anymore, and thereby doesn’t dare reach for the stars. He still lives in an abusive home mentally sitting at disconcertingly silent dinner tables, and making tired excuses for angry welts under layers for him to have any motivation other than to simply sleepwalk through life.

 APPEARANCE DESCRIPTION

Swinging calloused fists, throwing uncouth threats left and right…at the imposing height of 5’4. Although Avery will still feed you your teeth if you reckon it’s cute to call him pipsqueak or any other derogatory remark as to his height, he has come to think of his lanky, tiny, and largely androgynous appearance as an advantage. Looks can deceive, his in particular, because if there’s anything he’s not, it’s helpless. Be that as it may, there are self-image issues along with a deeply-seated insecurity at play regarding his physique, and overall gentle aura, which he contrasts with a collection of tattoos. For attentive listeners, you will hear a mostly Bostoner accent mixed with a faint German undertone while his voice is deep, masculine, and has a raspy current to it. It is not a shock, though, that Avery’s demeanour doesn’t exactly inspire pedestrians to chat him up at a park. As for clothes: just be on the lookout for a scowling, tiny lad in black from head to toe.  

PERSONALITY DESCRIPTION

Contrary to his cantankerous tunes, Avery knows when words of thanks are in order, and he is not at all too prideful to express his gratitude. Anything you give him freely, whether time, trust, or tears is valuable to him. Generally speaking, however, he is best described as being of a melancholic-choleric temperament, a man of few words but decidedly strong convictions who won’t hesitate to play devil’s advocate in order to call you out on your own hypocrisy. What he isn’t, though is deceiving because honesty is an integral part of his belief system; the engine without which the machine would come to a complete standstill. What’s most important to note about his general disposition, additionally, is how much of a duality Avery can be. Endearing at times, and then downright base. This boils down to his anxiety frequently expressed through rage, and insecurity. Ambivalent doesn’t even begin to cover how his personality oscillates between aggressive and dependent absolutes. As enigmatic as he is towards others and himself, though, there’s nothing uncertain about the fact that he is secretly an idealist in a misanthropic realist’s clothing. He wants to believe only the best in people, but also knows when there’s nothing to be done other than to turn some away. In the same vein, Avery struggles with emotional expression – full stop. Due to trauma, genetic factors, and environmental influences, trust is nearly an impossible feat for him; that goes both ways: towards others and himself, thus, while fiercely instinctive, it requires a game guide to unlock personal dialogue, resulting in suspicion and rebellious behaviour to cover up the fear of abandonment.

SKILLS / COMPETENCES

By general standards, Avery’s academic gap in his CV doesn’t speak well for his skills or competences, as one would be quick to presume he’s got none at all, which isn’t true. Regardless of having only done the utmost necessary before dropping out of school, he’s not a monolingual. Since his mother has German roots, their household was bilingual, with English being the primary language in their earlier developmental stages, and German introduced at around six to eight years old respectively. His level of proficiency is high in both languages, making him bilingual despite no linguistic talent or inclination to broaden his horizon. There’s also something to note about his dexterity, for his hands aren’t only his most important tools in his career. Indeed, most of his hobbies revolve around crafting or creating something – woodwork being one example.  He is also, perforce, an amazing cook and is known to hand out free food to friends who are, unfortunately, still homeless. What’s more, he has been blessed with an impeccable singing voice --- hard, soft, raspy currents like ripples in a river. Up until middle school, too, Avery used to participate in competitive running marathons, along with a penchant for precarious hobbies like skateboarding and parkour, the latter of which he gave up after too many unsuccessful attempts and stays in the hospital. Lastly, and this is vital, he has a natural gift for reading others; he is not easily deceived.

INTERPERSONAL MANNER

How Avery approaches you or comes across is entirely dependent on you – because when he smells bullshit or feels in any way lied to, threatened or manipulated, you’ll encounter his belligerent, patronizing and stubbornly righteous side. If you’re straightforward with your intentions, Avery is more likely to warm and loosen up around you. All in all, he is easy to like, but hardly few really know him. Since his family is a subject best not breached and linked to survivor’s guilt, Avery, for now, is on his own, excluding Lin, Trish, and Síle. Sometimes, even, the lad refers to his own room as a coffin. Unsurprisingly, his sexual relations are strictly physical, and any romantic interest is generally suppressed. If he were actively searching, however, Avery would best respond to unabashedly frank men who are assertive or creative – physically, he likes his men tall, muscular, preferably inked, and not afraid to straight up ask him to fuck. Moreover, given his demons, Avery works very hard to keep the shreds of stability he has in his life, which is why you will not hear him argue unless it’s something he categorizes as fundamentally wrong; he absolutely detests screaming or raised voices.

 Additional notes:

His voice claim is the same, i.e. Andy. Is anyone surprised?

Frequently lewd and downright tactless towards men, which is not reminiscent of his bad flirting skills but rather an indicator to please leave him the fuck alone.

Sugary sweets as bribery? 100% effective

Drinks an unhealthy amount of energy drinks to doze rather to deeply fall asleep because the feeling of falling asleep makes him incredibly anxious - night terrors are common.

Listens to bad German punk band and dub step. Definitely don’t allow him to play his music should he ever be in your car lest you’ll suffer profusely.

Has the almost compulsive need to play with items directly in front of him.

His younger sister detests him for walking out on her and leaving her with an alcoholic, abusive dad. Years prior, their mother left one day and never returned.  She hopes he’s dead in a ditch.

His relationship with religion is...complicated, to make use of a gross understatement as his family were zealots who only accepted their truth as the way to live. Consequently, Avery also has self-image issues and low self-esteem.

He feels more comfortable and considerably safer around women as far as platonic relationships go, and has an easier time opening up to them.

Natural ginger. Heat and Avery? Not a good mix.

Smells faintly of turpentine oil and citrus-scented utensils for cleaning because he is a neat freak.

Do not allow him anywhere near paper because he will doodle on anything.

Utilizes his art as a means to express himself emotionally.

[scriptautistic]

Masterpost: On calling characters autistic

Part 1: Whether you should explicitly call your character autistic, and how you should go about it

So, you have created an autistic character. You love them, you know their likes and dislikes and you are determined that this is going to be a positive and realistic portrayal of autism. There's one problem though - how do you let your readers know that the character has ASD?

Actually explicitly calling your character “Autistic” can be awkward. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to interrupt the flow of the story, maybe it’s because you don’t want to risk backlash if people dislike your representation of autism. Maybe “autistic” isn’t a word that exists in the world or time period of your story. So, do you have to say it outright?

There isn't a moral imperative to call your character “autistic”. One of my favourite autistic characters is never called autistic in-universe. But our blog is about encouraging accurate representation of autistic characters, and if you don't actually call them autistic...is it actually representation?

Should I call my character autistic?

Autistic characters in media are very important for several reasons. The media we consume contributes to shaping us and our worldviews. If someone reads books and watch movies which contain complex, realistic autistic characters, they’re more likely to 1) be aware of what autism actually is, and 2) see autistic people as human beings, and treat them as such. These characters are also important to autistic people themselves: seeing characters like yourself portrayed in a positive light can boost your self esteem and help you feel less alone.

If you make a great autistic character and you don’t explicitly call them “autistic”, it’s not guaranteed that everyone will understand that they’re supposed to be autistic. Many people don’t have a very accurate working knowledge of autism, and they might not understand that a character is autistic if they don’t fit their narrow, stereotypical view of what an autistic person looks like. Thus the people that would benefit most from this representation might miss it completely.

Of course, the choice is yours, but we would strongly encourage you to explicitly call your character autistic so that you’re 100% sure your readers will pick up on it. Ideally, this would happen in the work itself, but at the very least we would encourage you to make it explicit when you, the writer, discuss the character (on social media, in interviews, in synopses of your work). Bare in mind that if you don’t say it explicitly within the work, you are very likely to end up with readers who deny that the character is autistic because they don’t behave in ways that match their perception of what autism is - they fall in love, they speak, they don’t behave in exactly the same way as their autistic nephew does. It is preferable for the reader to be able to identify the character as autistic without needing to pay attention to the author’s writing outside of the work itself.

When?

So, it’s decided! You are definitely going to tell the audience that the character is autistic. When is the best time to let them know? Telling the audience does not have to be the first thing you do when you introduce the character - it depends what you want to do with your story.

Here are a few general possibilities:

When the character is introduced - immediately telling the audience that the character is autistic means that the character’s autism will play a big part in the audience’s interpretation of the character. You might choose this option if you feel it is important for the audience to understand the character is autistic. If you are telling a story “about being autistic”, the fact that the character is autistic is very likely to be one that you will want to raise at the start, but even in a story that is not “about” being autistic, knowing your character’s neurotype from the outset can help the audience to interpret their behaviour.

After the character has been established - your character has already been established and you have demonstrated their autistic traits; calling your character autistic at this point is a way of confirming it and making it explicit for anyone who has not realised so far.

A “big” reveal - this isn’t something that I have seen used, but there is the option of “revealing” that your character is autistic later in the story. This could be used a way of subverting the expectations of readers who have stereotypical views of autism (and confirming other readers’ “headcanons”) for characters who have atypical traits. Otherwise, it could be presented as the solution to a “mystery” about the character.

It is brought up several times - you don’t have to only mention the character’s autism once! Their autism might be referred to multiple times during the story.

In the description/summary of your story - This a useful option if the story takes place in a point in history before the diagnosis of “autism” existed. It can also be used to clarify the terms you use for stories set in the future/different worlds. (The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time used this method, only calling the main character autistic on the cover - but you need to make sure that you actually do a decent job inside the book!)

How?

OK, time to actually decide how to tell your audience that the character is autistic. Luckily, there are lots of options!

We are going to list several strategies. There are lots of ways of fitting these into context: try relating what you say to an autistic trait which is affecting your character at that point in the story: are they struggling with executive dysfunction? having fun stimming? looking up information about their special interest?

Here are some ideas of topics related to autism that might provide you with the opportunity to casually drop in the term “autistic”: sensory overload, stimming, executive dysfunction, alexithymia, difficulties with social interactions, problems with communication, special interests, eye contact, meltdowns and shutdowns.

Here are some techniques for telling the audience that the character is autistic. Each suggestion is accompanied by at least one example to illustrate how it can be used:

The narration says “they’re autistic” - it can be slipped in as a sort of “aside” if that feels more natural in your story

“Karen swore loudly. The village church bells had been ringing for 45 minutes and her head felt like it was going to split in two. Of course being autistic didn’t help, but the main problem was the bloody eejit who decided it was a good idea to hold bell practice today of all days.”

“Ming looked down the guest list. Selvie was bringing Cheng Mae as her plus-one. Ming had only met her once: he knew that she was autistic, that she loved Criminal Minds, and that Selvie was trying to take the relationship to the next level, but none of this helped him with choosing what table to put the couple at. He called Helen in from the kitchen to ask what she thought.”

The autistic character says they’re autistic (in dialogue) - either explicitly telling another character, or mentioning in passing

“Sorry I went a bit weird yesterday - I’m autistic and crowds are really overwhelming for me. Can we try again next Saturday? You can come ’round to mine and I’ll cook a romantic dinner”

J: How did you choose your therapist? I’m trying to find one K: She specializes in working with autistic people. My dad helped me find her. J: Oh, is she expensive?

The autistic character says they're autistic (as the first-person point of view narrator) They might mention it as a personal aside, or they may refer to it repeatedly throughout the narrative.

“I hate the store. I have been to every aisle at least twice already, but either two items are in the same aisle but not written next to each other on the list, or I can’t see the item I’m looking for. I know I struggle with finding things directly in front of my face because I’m autistic—my brain just doesn’t process the images my eyes are passing over fast enough—but it’s so annoying. I just wanted to find the cereal my sister likes.”

Refer to (or flashback to) a time in the past when it came up For example, the character could refer to to being in special ed at school, their parents might talk about the character having atypical development (eg. not speaking until a later age than usual), they could refer to the mental health professional who first suggested that they seek out a diagnosis, the character might make a comment comparing something to one of the tests they did while being assessed for autism, there might be a flashback to ABA sessions.

“Hey, Cam, you know that you are allowed to say when you disagree with something, don’t you?” “Yes.” Cam hesitated. “Um... I mean, yes, in theory. But I was taught in social skills that I had to smile and nod when people speak. It’s hard.” “Of course, I forgot. It was more important for them to teach the autistic kid to be compliant than to teach you how to communicate your needs,” he scowled. “Sarcasm,” he added “Thanks. I realised, this time.”

Another character discloses that the character is autistic (note: this is something that is not necessarily an appropriate thing to do in real-life — please don’t go talking about other people’s diagnoses behind their backs unless you know EXPLICITLY that this is ok with them)

“What’s the deal with Zephyr? Is he always such an arse?” Caroline sighed, “listen, Katharina, Zephyr isn’t trying to be rude. He’s autistic, he can’t pick up on your hints that you want to change the subject. Just tell him—nicely—that you want to talk about something else”

Chantelle looked the teacher in the eye, her face resolute. “Please, Mr Clive, Aaron is autistic, and I need to know that the school understands that. Things have been difficult for all of us since the earthquake, but the changes have been really hard for him. We lost our house, we’ve moved to a new area. Can I work with someone from the school’s SEN department to plan his induction?”

Another character mentions it when talking to the autistic character

“You know, when I first heard you were autistic I was expecting something different” “Robyn, this is not the time,” Enri snapped, “let’s fix the ship first, please”

From: K.Litchen To: I.Khan Subject: Favor please! <3

Hey, Ibby, you can definitely say “no” if you want to, but is it ok if I give your email address to my sister? She just found out that my nephew might be autistic and I think it would help her to talk to an autistic adult bc she’s panicking right now. Also, you left your dictaphone at the office on Friday, I can drop it off tonite if you like?

Thanks!!! Kim xxx”

Say it in the blurb/synopsis of your book/comic/film/etc

“17th Century France: The Beast of Gévaudan has been terrorising the area for two years. After two twelve year olds are killed in his village, Pierre, an autistic baker, begins investigating the attacks. He uncovers secrets, lies, and the terrible truth behind La Bèstia — but who will listen to M. Fournier’s oddball son?”

Include information in the background of a panel/scene (for a comic/film) Examples:

A panel shows a letter that is relevant for plot reasons, but you can see part of another letter behind it that references autism

The character goes to visit their therapist and there are posters about autism on the walls

The character wears some sort of autistic pride t-shirt (example 1 and example 2)

This information could also be backed up by (or highlighted in) your dialogue. The prose-based equivalent to having information in the mise-en-scene would be using descriptions of the background.

That’s it for part one!

Next time on On calling characters autistic:

Part 2 - what if autistic isn’t a term that exists in my story? We discuss telling stories that are set in the past, the distant future, and on other worlds

Part 3 - hinting We discuss ways to strongly imply that your character is autistic (techniques that you will ideally combine with explicitly calling them autistic)

[vroenis]

How Do We Begin To Answer Some Of These Questions

Straight off the bat, it’s a shitter to not put a question mark at the end of that title, I’ll acknowledge that. Like everything I do, that’s very intentional and sure, annoying as all fuck. I hope that’s not too great a deterrent, tho, because I feel like this is a worthwhile discussion even if it’s going to be perhaps one of the most frustrating. But first, an image and a clear content warning for suicide and mental health.

I’m sure if you’re here on tumblr, there’s a good chance you’ve had some contact with social media in some form. That means you’ve also had some contact with folks posting about there not being much difference between their experiences with isolation prior to the SARS-COV-19 pandemic or Covid, as we’re now abbreviating it to for convenience, and the social isolation most commonly state enforced or at least heavily suggested under medical guidance.

It won’t surprise you that I’ll echo those sentiments; life for me in social isolation certainly isn’t much different at all. I have three close friends I see in person who I communicate with on the wire intermittently now on limited subjects, almost none of which are those I’m passionate about save for one - R, who digs many of the films and music genres I’m into, plus we’re both into Lego and I used to be into Gundam/Gunpla so I love talking about his new kits, but otherwise there isn’t much difference now to how things were before. It won’t surprise you that while I’ve not gotten around to an official diagnosis of such, the timeline being disrupted by the topic at hand, on top of the bipolar 2/mixed/whatever that already constitutes the state of living and experience my life is, I’m likely non-neurotypical.

At my age, due to some of my experiences but also with significant support from J, I think I’ve been fortunate to get a handle on some of my behaviours fairly well, but I’m still intolerant of a lot of stimuli in many ways. I’m good about it insofar as I don’t always have bad reactions, but it does mean I can’t always subject myself to things so avoidance is often the best course of action. Whether this means exposure to/indulgence in art, media, and experience including certain people or just types of cultural events if I’m not in the right frame of mind, or simply priming myself to be mindful and say little, monitor my behaviour and do my best to be measured and slow in my thought when responding, interacting with others can at times be difficult. It’s not impossible. I’m happy to say most of the time I’m extroverted. I love being around people. It may be in part the bipolar or perhaps just my character, for some reason folks seem to want to keep making a distinction between the two - sure - but I’m usually understimulated so being around people is often fascinating and enjoyable, equally so frustrating when I eventually and inevitably find myself unfulfilled but I’m learning that’s mostly on me and it’s my responsibility to catch it and be cognisant of my thoughts on that.

So here’s the thing about being bipolar or to be honest, I don’t really care whether it’s due to bipolar or non-neurotypical or not because it doesn’t matter. Here’s the thing about being in mental states that others aren’t always in because it’s really just about not being able to connect with people;

An individual craves connection with other people. I don’t want to speak for everyone, let’s not do that, that is to say I’m not doing that. I want to say that I, and any one other person, may want to connect with other people. I crave connection. A theoretical person wants connection. My pathing on this might be a bit hackneyed, apologies, but I have to think it thru a particular way - roll your eyes and/or have a chuckle, hopefully the psychologists in the room will do both;

You try to share and communicate subjects you want to connect on.

Sometimes you fail to connect with the individual for various reasons.

Sometimes you fail to connect on the subjects for various reasons.

Over time it’s difficult to find any people at all who want to connect on those subjects for various reasons - I think this may be fairly normal for adults.

Sometimes there are people who are interested in the subjects, but those people are difficult to connect with for various reasons.

Sometimes you end up successfully connecting with people on different subjects which is good, and those connections are enduring, nevertheless you still are left without connections on subjects you feel you need and want.

I feel like the text in italics in point 4/D (weird tumblr formatting) is important - that this may be fairly normal for adults - for many of us, bonding past our twenties becomes a little more arduous. We know what we like, what we don’t. We know what we will tolerate, what we won’t. Some adults are more easy-going, many of us have had some more rigorous experiences than others and not all of us, but for many of us that means we’re a little less accepting of certain behaviours. There’s a sense of not wanting to waste time and time wasting constitutes different things to each one of us. Navigating that is a spiky business, I’m sure.

That rolls into 6/F tho - it’s becoming more and more important for me to find people, or perhaps I should correct myself... connection... on those subjects I deem important. Culturally, emotionally, politically, and here it comes - artistically (the most important one :P (TONGUE POKING OUT IN ASCII ( EXCEL NESTED PARENTHESES JOKE))). A lot of that is loaded into what contributes to how I define my long-term relationship with J, for example, and how I assess the health of our relationship. A great deal of how we assess its health relies on us constantly communicating with one-another what our values are and connecting over them. Intimate relationships naturally don’t cover the full scope of adult interactions and experience, so it’s appropriate that we have lives outside of our experiences with one-another.

What do we do if and when we aren’t satisfied with the cultural, emotional and artistic engagement we’re experiencing in our lives? What do we do when we seek it out and don’t find it? What do we do if we begin to feel frustration at not finding it? Fatigue? Exhaustion? Distress and the onset of hopelessness? Am I replacing the distant, collective We article with I in order to make these personal questions? I’m not going to dance around that, of-course I am. I ask myself these questions every day. These are the questions in-between the presupposition and one of the answers I’m going to suggest, because there is at least one answer.

I don’t know if these were questions some of these people were asking, how can I know. I realise I often don’t put question marks in my writing because I’m attempting to suggest verbal intonation rather than correct grammar and it’ll have to do - I feel like there should be some kind of accommodation for that, I’m sure someone’s written something clever and contemporary about the function of grammar but I’m too lazy to go hunting for it. One answer to these questions if they were being asked comes from artists - the artists who may have answered them with devastating finality, and if you’ve read my journal thus far over the last few months, you know I’m going to talk about Jóhann Jóhannsson.

Jóhann Jóhannsson completed suicide.

This is the feeling I get when I say; 

‘I feel like we all failed to create a better world for Jóhann Jóhannsson, one where somehow we understood his experience, one where he was understood. One where what he was feeling was OK, and where he had the time and space to be however he was being and not have to worry about whatever it was - I don’t know what it was - paying bills, buying groceries, turning up to work on time, saying “good morning” endlessly,’

Does this mean he should have been able to live a life where he had no accountability or responsibility? Not at all, you know that’s not what I mean. I’m not advocating for people with mental health challenges to not ever have to do their best to live life and just have people do everything for them. We are more intelligent than that. We can step way back from the precipice of society’s complete failings in dealing with significant mental health and see that we still don’t deal well with anything that falls remotely outside the parameters of this bizarre definition of normal we seem to have. Contemporary society still doesn’t even have mechanisms to educate their own children in sexual health and behaviour under the definition of “normal” and you want to tell me we can deal with mental health? We don’t even know how do deal with stress - we haven’t figured out how to treat people of colour right and pay women equally in the workplace and you think we’re ready to tackle mental health?

So how do we think queer women of colour are coping on the mental health front, then? My life is no picnic but you know what? As much as I’m a first-gen migrant kid, I’m white-presenting, so as far as society goes, life is so much easier for me and that is a massive position of privilege that I did nothing to achieve, so before I’ve opened my mouth or anything about my sexuality, gender or mental health is known, I’m already perceived in society fairly well. Queer women and trans people of colour have it most difficult and yes, it’s not a contest, I’m not making it one but we all have these questions. Oppression is one question and connection is another.

For many reasons, we can’t have a discussion about suicide here. They’re not edgelord reasons either, put that away. Suicide is a complex and important topic we don’t talk about when it’s one-sided meaning text only with me writing and without the opportunity for you to speak, me to listen and for us to have actual dialogue. You and I don’t know one-another and if we do, then you have my cell number, my email address or some direct channel to contact me on and that’s how we should discuss it in a way that affords us time and space to do so. So while I won’t say anything further about suicide, I will say that while suicide is one answer it cannot and must not be the only one. It definitely isn’t, and people definitely find connection. I’ve found connection with people, but I’m still not satisfied. I still want better, deeper, more intense, more meaningful, more enduring, ever growing connections. How do we do that as adults with the increasing rigours and concerns we have to bear?

How do we begin to answer some of these questions?