#he has so much going on i love him sm
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katiekatdragon27 · 8 months ago
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Transcript:
A.Tesseract: *Thunk*
A.Sphere: What the- Who are you???
Sometimes I like to think of an alternate reality to "A Heightlander's Escape" where, like in Sphereland, A. Sphere survived the war but was super shunned by everyone as a result and more so after learning about the reality of the 4th dimension.
In this reality, A. Tesseract meeting A. Sphere was a complete accident. She just intended to pass though, but miscalculated the area she was phasing through, and as a result getting caught by A. Sphere.
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Since she never shows him the "real" 4th dimension, she looks like a floating growing and shrinking cube more than a 4D being. A.Sphere got flash-banged by the explosion and damaged on his right side, so he has glasses and a brace. (The glasses are only for reading tho)
Below are some "spoilers" kinda sorta for Sphereland. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, especially if you liked Flatland but thought the obsessive amount of misogyny was kinda wack (it's still sexist but it's like better-ish... Plz don't clip that-):
In the book, the Sphere visits Hexagon like 70 years after basically kidnapping and traumatizing his grandpa. So I guess taking people from their original plane of existence and spreading the gospel is only done every 1000 years because of ... principle?? Idk, it didn't make sense, but it makes me think.
Also the idea that the Sphere is so lonely and isolated that he decides to track down the grandkid of the dude he kidnapped jst so he had someone to vent to basically is both really funny and super-duper sweet. I love that for all of them honestly.
So that but A. Sphere and Hex's fam lol.
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Mind you, Hex is a grandpa here and A. Sphere is like middle-aged (40s). Doen't halt hospitality tho, what a chad.
Also, these things are the greatest things ever. Everyone needs to like these things.
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Have a good day chat and read Sphereland on the Internet Archive or smth.
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turtleblogatlast · 1 year ago
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Leo has a lot of love for his comics, constantly rereading them (mainly for the art) and overall having a lot of sentimental value for them, especially because reading them is something he likes to do when he’s just existing in a space with his family.
And then the Shredder happens. And then the invasion happens. And then life in general happens. And, suddenly, most of Leo’s comics are either too damaged to fix or gone entirely.
But it’s fine! He’s growing up, so he doesn’t need them anymore. So what if it’s one more bit of childhood lost? It’s fine - it’s fine.
Enter Mikey.
Mikey, who is so, so empathetic and cares so, so much about his family - he notices, and he decides to do something about it.
Unfortunately, most of the comics are vintage, and completely unavailable in any form but digital.
Good thing Mikey is an artist.
So over the course of a month, Mikey secretly takes the time to painstakingly recreate Leo’s favorite Jupiter Jim volume. It’s hard, matching a style like that with only grainy online scans to go off of, but he manages.
He gives it to Leo on a mundane day, out of the blue, with a sunshine smile on his face.
Now- Mikey does all this secretly.
But Leo is very, very perceptive, especially in regard to his brothers hiding things from him. So of course he finds the unfinished work in progress comic about three days in.
He does NOT cry. He doesn’t.
Just as he doesn’t cry when Mikey presents him with the finished thing, nope, not a tear in sight.
His eyes are just wetter than normal as he gives Mikey the absolute biggest hug he could possibly give.
(And if Mikey finds the fridge and pantry always stacked with special ingredients only found in specific parts of the world whenever he so much as mentions wanting to try them, that’s neither here nor there.)
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evelynpr · 4 months ago
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FINISHED WATCHING MHA MOVIE 2: HEROES RISING!!! SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT
OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS WAS SO GOOD YO HOLY FUCK I LOVE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA
This was truly My Bakudeku Academia. Watching that final battle felt like a religious experience- as if I was watching the birth of Christ. Holy fuck if that really was the original ending, with Deku passing OFA to Kacchan, and the whole "Oh it actually stayed with Deku and Bkg got amnesia" didn't happen, this would have been a dramatically different story moving forward.
Horikoshi really loves Bakugou- like absolutely no question. The story following this kind of ending would be about him continuing OFA's legacy with the guilt of a thousand suns on his shoulders for "taking away" Izuku's dream. Izuku would have continued the hero course as an actual quirkless student. I would love to see aus of this being canon and continuing their story from there.
I'm guessing Nine here was supposed to be AFO, and he would basically be gone too. Katsuma is perfectly set up to be the next protagonist (I can already imagine him using Cell Regeneration as Super Regeneration- he could become invincible while also healing others. Incredibly amazing quirk).
NUMBER ONE COMPLAINT I HAD WAS ADDRESSED. THE REST OF THE CLASS ACTUALLY DO FEEL STRONG AND USEFUL AND EVERYTHING AS SHIT I LOVE IT AAAAAAAA
YES MY GIRL OCHAKO FINALLY HAS HER BIG MOMENT FLOATING SO MUCH DEBRIS!!! I'M SO HAPPY- EVEN JIRO, AOYAMA, SHOJI, TOKOYAMI AND MORE HAD LEGIT GOOD SCENES AND FIGHTS I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH THEY ARE SOOO COOLLLLL THEY GENUINELY GAVE IT THEIR ALL FUCK YEAHHHHH
(note. THAT WOLF GUY CALLED SHOJI UGLY- A FELLOW HETEROMORPH, CUS HE WAS PROJECTING HIS "MONSTER" ISSUES ON HIM HOW FUCKING DARE YOUUUUU)
THEY ALSO MAKE IT ACTUALLY MAKE MORE SENSE HOW THE WHOLE CLASS IS SEPARATED ON AN ISLAND TOGETHER AS A WHOLE CLASS THIS TIME TOO (and not just half like last movie). They even managed to tie it in to AFO, the LoV, and Hero Society. Like it actually feels more grounded and reasonable why the class would be here alone with supervision.
They even add hints of Touya Todoroki with him having a short battle with Endeavor, Hawks spying in the LoV, the HSPC head cameo, and other little things too. Man I loved this fucking movie I would watch it 10 more times right now.
#THIS WAS SRSLY MY BKDK ACADEMIA#I CANT IMAGINE HOW INSANE HORIKOSHI IS FOR IMAGINING THIS AS AN OG ENDING???#CUS WTF. IZUKU GENUINELY TRUSTS BKG SO MUCH IN WANTING TO BE THE NUMBER 1 HERO HES FINE WITH HIM HAVING OFA. WHAT#BKG WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED AND WOULD DO THE SAME THING HE DID IN THE CANON ENDING NGL IF THIS HAPPENED#HE WOULD N O T LOSE IZUKU BY HIS SIDE BRO#IZUKU WOULD CONTINUE AND GRADUATE AS A LEGIT QUIRKLESS HERO EVEN EARLIER IN THE SERIES- WHAT THE FUCK LSKFJKJSD#OK IM JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY THEY GAVE OCHAKO MORE SHIT TO FLOAT LIKE GODDAMN#SHE WORKS SO WELL WITH TSU AND SERO HELL YEAH!!! IM SURPRSIED NO ONE DRAWS THEM TOGETHER MORE AS FRIENDS!!!#(guess I'm doing that now. tsk.)#I have moved on so much from my younger years bkg hate that seeing him succeed and do shit legit makes me so fucking happy-#thATS MY WINNING FIGHTING FUCKING KINGGGGGG#and Izuku being the absolutely selfless and darling sunshine he is and being so deranged in beating this dudes ass. always beautiful.#ily sm izukuuuu#also. brief TODOIIDA YAYYYYY THEY WERE SO BACK TO BACK IN BEATING THE CHIMERA DUDE LKSFLKSJK#yes kiri and tsu were also there and were Awesome- but u can tell its these two back to back#when iida reminds shoto to prioritize saving civilians with his hand on his shoulder yeAHHH thats their THEME RIGHT THEREEE#they both learned that together from deku and now are always fighting side by side fuck yeAHHHH#ok thats enough. i fucking love these movies. idc if theyre basic big selling fight scene crap and are shallow to most ppl#i care abt these kids and this world and its fucking heroes and villains n jackshit so much#if anyone stops me from enjoying this they can go suck their own dick and crack their neck trying. ha.#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#heroes rising#bkdk#bakudeku#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki
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stiffyck · 5 months ago
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Can we talk about how Karen definitely has some sort of PTSD because you can't just wake up one day with a knife and bloody hands and a dead coworker on your carpet one and then be fine. You don't get arrested and then almost strangled to death while in custody and be fine. You don't get kidnapped and threatened and then kill someone in self defense and be fine.
Oh my god can we PLEASE talk about Karen and her trauma oh my GOD.
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a-noodle-named-daemon · 8 months ago
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Have Daemon being a very dramatic boy while I heated up his rat last night 🐍
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shima-draws · 11 months ago
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Reiju saying don’t ever let him (Luffy) go to Sanji…she knows. She KNOWS
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icyfox17 · 9 months ago
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NEW BLORBO ALERT
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Your honour I've seen two (2) episodes and im in love with him
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hana-bobo-finch · 2 months ago
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erm…..posting about an OC via a rushed shitpost was not on my 2025 bingo card!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂get it??? 😂😂😂because his name is bingo??(GETS SHOT)
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these are all things he has done or has attempted to do so consider this the full intro post for that freak for now. he’s still too undercooked to fully introduce but damn I love him
#pdbc#I love him. he’s the sole descendant of a royal family and. if you’ll pardon the pun. is royally fucking things up for himself#he could do so much in life and instead decides to be the next Gordon Ramsay……..such wasted potential#did. did I ever mention that part of him. his clan is called the Ramsay clan after all#he wants to be Gordon Ramsay sooooo fucking bad…….#big theater kid gone wrong energy from him#so many of my posts this year have been pdbc related. it Will happen again.#< (in my defense I’m working on other non-pdbc stuff !! but pdbc stuff is easy to make because I don’t have to think about it)#once I’m not so burnt out I’m really excited to design bingo��.not even going to attempt to rn#I hate designing outfits but I’m actually looking forward to his bc he has a horrid mix of royal garments and astereotypical butcher outfit#speaking of butchers. butcher vanity? great song absolutely fits him. cannot stop listening to it#surprisingly him being like. a literal cannibal isn’t even all he does. that’s just a…little quirk of his#like ya’d think him eating people would be more important but nah. he’s a POET and a MAGICIAN 😤😤#I’d say he’s one of the most evil characters but…..kinda all of my characters are#sure bingo tries to eat people and bomb people’s homes but there are side characters who put acid in the water supply and aren’t punished#so bingo’s just par for the course honestly#the best thing he’s ever done is install an air conditioning unit. there wasn’t one before bc Mole (his mom) didn’t like them—#—which resulted in people keeling over from heat exhaustion a lot so. good job for fixing that bingo#it’s the bare minimum but that’s pretty good for him so he can have a round of applause for that#I think I might have mentioned Gerbombs in passing but I love them sm#they’re gerbils genetically engineered to blow up when pressure is placed on them#they’re adorable. thankfully they have no concept of death so they’re just chilling with no worries in the world#before you get sad. Sushi rescued most of the Gerbombs and now cares for them so happy ending#no Gerbombs shall die under her watch. I don’t think I could deal with it if too many Gerbombs died#although they’re called Gerbombs they’re actually more physically close to jerboas#they’re so cute. I should draw a Gerbomb sometime#(I should also probably rename them jerbombs considering they’re not gerbils but ehhhhhhhhhhhhh)
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specific-dreamer · 3 months ago
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going off of my nicknames thought, cherry was really upset that night at the drive in when bob called her sherri. like usually when he calls her sherri he’s doting on her and being sweet and kind and loving all around, but this time ? him calling her sherri as a last ditch effort to try and force her to do something ? who does bob think he is trying to force cherry to do something ?
and that’s the final straw. because before bob never showed any signs of wanting to control her or anything of the sort. but using her whole name like that, like he’s her father or something? if she thinks about it later with a clear mind, she realizes she got so upset not because he used her full name, but because he was also drunk off his rocker when he did it, and it reminded her too much of her father. and all she can think is that she refuses to be like her mother, hiding in the bathroom with a bottle of wine.
so she breaks up bob because that is not a role she wants to play
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aroacee-of-spades · 3 months ago
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^ face of someone (me) who just finished the arcane finale
#GOODNIGHT I NEED TO PROCESS#im STRUCK#there r tears rolling down my cheeks fuck this damn show😭😭 (affectionate. this is the peak of all media ever)#okay yall arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane s2#that ending was honestly SO well done#the WHOLE finale#and all the rest lmao#but fucking GOD#the cycle....and the way each character was considered within..just- SO GOOD#and ekko......#and JAYCE oml yall better take back all the shit tbh he's genuinely become such an intriguing character throughout s2#and going to admit. i did Not care abt him in s1 sry😞#but the s2 arc has been captivating from the start and jayce is NO exception#also viktor's eyes im so glad we got to see them again. ohhh the irony of grief and relief mean SO much to me#his eyes. mean sm to Me. doomed scientist yaoi i lov e u#and mel.....omg not much to say regarding initial thoughts. im afraid haha. buuut i wanted to learn more about her link to the black rose#LOVED ambessa. her characterisation was so brilliantly captivating that i dont think i ever rlly hated her lmao#and jinxx omfg im sick. i love her so much. oh fucking hell ep7 killed me actually. im dead.#the sisters r so close all throughout the show and i loved the little direct confirmation of this like i actually started crying then#and VI oh my goddddd vi. could write a thesis on her. the visual rep of the lessening of her guilt after jinx. with singing. with acceptanc#oh fml im going a little insane i love this show so much#and VANDERRR and the beast and FUCK how even at the end he covered jinx.#i love how the show covered her end. it feels like a sigh of relief. the final breath. u end up hoping the best for her.#OH MAN THE MUSIC STARTED AND I STARTED CRYING SO HARD.#this is s1 ep3 all over again#oh and HOLY SHIT we got lesbian sex im ECSTATIC. thannk u fortiche for the whole show but yeah. especially. uhm. this.#okay im loggin off now i need to clock out and sleep. process my thoughts and then word vomit tmr.#nyx talks shit
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sandycookie · 28 days ago
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fellas the book 7 update…. *crying*
(refer to the tags for my rambling, just to minimize ppl accidentally spoiling themselves)
#sandy blabbles#twst#Book 7 spoilers#dude ace loves his friends sm#His happiness including yuu’s own happiness—where they get to go back to their home but also still be able to stay in twst; still get to ha#Hang out and be friends. Never having to say goodbye.#I just…heart shackle my beloved they could never make me hate you#It really shows how much Ace truly loves his friends and how he doesn’t WANT to part with them; say goodbye and sever his ties with them#Its actually rlly similar to Malleus’s whole OB thing; both of them fear the imminent parting of their loved ones#I think it’s really noteworthy that Ace’s happiness gets predicated on Yuu’s happiness FIRST#I think in reality deep down he FOESNT want Yuu to go back home; because it’s likely that their way back home is a one way trip.#It’s not like graduating and going back home. In this case Yuu is gone. Period. They existed in TWST in one moment and the next they cease#However he also knows that them staying in TWST would only be painful; they had a life before NRC and to make them say goodbye to that fore#Is something he also doesn’t want to do; the fact that one of the core false memories the dream is built upon is YUU’S HAPPY EXPRESSION at#Crowley finding a way for them back home is…*chef’s kiss* so ofc the ideal solution for him is to let them travel between world’s; that way#The both of them can be happy; Yuu can go back home but still be with Ace and their friends. Dude I’m just so fucking touched—Ace has#Infamously bad emotional communication yet he cares and loves sm. Yes he’s an ass yes he’s a jerk yes he’s a selfish teen boy; but he’s *ou#Asshole. Who will have our back as we do his; who will be happy with as he is with Heartshackle. When you get down to it Ace is sentimental#Whereas Malleus’ solution has involved him selfishly restraining the ppl he loves in an effort not to lose them; and ending up alone i#Ace’s UM defo coming in Book 7 (or 8; him getting his UM during a confrontation with Malleus would be very fitting)#It’s almost poetic how traitor ace theory is simultaneously torn away but also…not with his dream.#The fact remains that he cares for Yuu and doesn’t want them to go; those feelings which are core to the theory ARE there. But at the same#Time he’s not selfish enough to do that to Yuu…sure there IS the question of how he would treat the situation in reality rather than the#Ideal dream but I think that by the end of book 7 any lingering feelings he might have of keeping Yuu in twst; even to their detriment will#Fall in the face of malleus who is emblematic of such desires. Book 7 will end in Ace wholeheartedly working with us to find Yuu a way back#Home. Because if that’s what will bring them happiness; even if it’s a happiness Ace will not have been a part of for long or much longer#Then he will do it. Even if parting is painful having the people he loves be in pain for the rest of their lives (ie Yuu being trapped) is#Far far FAR more painful then parting ever could be. Because for as much as Ace bullies and pursues being a cool kid#He will never be able to stop caring and loving his dear friend#(Also couldn’t fit this in but the fact that he was able to be so rational while delululu when resisting waking up is SO on point
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jils-things · 4 months ago
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what if we were in a zombie apocalypse but we fell in love and piss nick the fuck out
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xxplastic-cubexx · 4 months ago
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hello!! i just want to tell you that your art is so goddamn scrumptious, you are literally feeding my xmen brainrot and I find myself smiling when i see your art come across my feed. I love how you draw charles, pretty privilege and post (lets be fr he's serving every time)
i hope you always have fantastic brainrot and id kiss your blessed hands for giving us the gift of cherik and charles xavier, you are literally an icon
hope you have a great day ahead of you and more!! you deserve it !!
well i'ma absolutely have a wonderful mornin after readin this AWWWW thank you so so much !!!! i haven't been postin xmen long, so it's been really heartwarmin seein the warm reception to my work in the wonderful tags people have been leavin on my posts- and especially gettin to answer the lovely asks y'all've been sendin in (❁´ �� `❁) !! im glad people also like my goofy text posts and esp quotes from my brother he really has no right being so funny at the most random times
i hope to be xmen posting a while: ive got at least 60 years worth of stuff to look through and ongoing, so i dont imagine my interest'll wane anytime soon :]] !!
#fave#snap chats#'xmen posting' is so generous ive been posting the same two freaks day in day out !!!!!!#my blog desc does not lie i am cherik posting near exclusively because these two have captivated my brain in such a diabolical manner#that doesnt mean i dont love the rest of the xmen cast ofc ..... its been fun getting back into this franchise more in depth this year#its funny honestly: i was more of an avengers kid growing up but like. by the SMALLEST technical margin#i Vaguely caught eps of 92 as a kid and i distinctly remember the 'real raven' scene from first class when i was a teen#because of course thats the one (1) scene i saw as a kid while channel surfing jELJEA like Hello mr lehnsherr. Your zesty turtleneck.#and mystique. hello. but it didnt really go any deeper than that ... until recently HIIIII#i missed the train like a mfer tho all Three of my friends had watched the xmen movies growing up but better late than never !!#i got into comics through my bro and he only really took me to see avengers movies and the like but avengers hasnt really. stuck with me#not in the way xmen has recently. maybe its cause im older idk i just find myself attached to it and more interested in it as a whole#BUT ENOUGH OF THAT PRATTLE thank you so much for the kind words !!! they really do mean a lot i'll cherish this ask forever#im very happy people like how i draw charles i love drawing him sm.... pretty privilege and post thats heinous vjlkjvALVJELKJ#BUT VERY TRUE HE'S ALWAYS HANDSOME THO i love me a bald mfer im so serious this is no game#dark phoenix gets my ire for having mcavoy be bald the whole time but then i have to deal with The Rest Of The Movie#he just looks so good .... i mean Granted but he just looks especially good ... do we catch my cold ... ill stop now ...#point is i look forward to drawing charles many more times in the future Bald Or Not with his ex by his side <3#i dont even wanna post this i just wanna keep readin it. and replyin to it vJEALKAEJKL BUT i must thank you ... so thank you !!!#i hope to continue makin the people happy with my silly postings :]]]
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daz4i · 9 months ago
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dan heng does make me insane ngl
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c0rvidfagg0try · 2 years ago
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Thinking abt how much of a dad Phoenix is and how important it is to his character
He constantly helping and supporting these young girls he ends up picking up and making sure they are protected and taken care of under him. He loves so unconditionally and it makes me go absolutely insane!!! They don’t really focus on it in the games (at least up to where I am) but his kindness towards these kids he meets always shines through!!! He is a constant defender of them and he’s always so gentle with them!!!
I’m especially thinking abt Pearls rn and how he immediately looks at her and is like: you need my protection and love I’m giving you a nickname and making sure you’re okay, you have so much on your shoulders for a child and I’m going to try to protect you from those burdens
LIKE!!!!
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lazarus-harp · 1 year ago
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matthew will always be the most complex character in escape the night no matter what. his emotions are always at 0 or 100 there is no in between for that man. he tries to cover up how intensely emotionally attached to people he's only known for a couple of hours by being passive aggressive and overly sarcastic then gives them devoted attention 5 minutes later. he admits in a confessional in episode 4 that choosing between voting in rosanna, safiya or teala is hard and that he's scared. why would he level rosanna who he's known for years with safiya and teala who he's only known for a few hours? he holds someones hand, shoulder or waist as a form of affection then randomly stops and shelters himself pretending that he doesn't want to talk to anyone but the second someone speaks to him or shows him any form of attention hes overwhelmed by it and goes 100 miles by constantly following them around, he either always gives a nickname (like ro for rosanna/darling for nikita) or says their name like he's known them for his entire life (softly and slowly) he's attached at the hip to the person of the episode who gives him the most attention and love (and yes i will be calling this man an attention whore bc he is one, don't deny it) he treats his love like a toy in which if you even leave the slightest scratch on it, he'll take it away until he paint over the scratch, gives in to his urges and gives it back almost like a second chance but he gives you unlimited chances bc he can not help himself. he is the only person in this so who is 100% willing to beat or even kill for someone he loves. like in episode seven you can see by the look in his eyes he wants nikita gone bc she expressed her feelings in a way that wasn't right in his mind. he paints pictures of everyone in is head and becomes unsatisfied and irrational when they aren't what he imagined them to be which is why in episode 8 when he tells nikita that he "doesn't like this side of her" i think he's not saying he dislikes how mean she's becoming, he's disliking the fact that she isn't the person he wanted her to be. he loves hard and hates hard then tries to take it all back, and though we as a fandom should hate someone who is a short-tempered attention whore who has severe attachment issues. we can't, he's almost everyone's favourite and if not, he's always in someones top 3 or top 5. and honestly i don't think there is a rational explanation for this he just captivates us because he has the characteristics of a golden boy who we root for but other than that i don't know why our favourite detective is so beloved when he has the most hate-able traits ever.... but my god do i love that man <3
i am soooo in love with this holy hell! i'm like, ugh, this is just such a well worded take on the detective and i always get this second wind of love for him when other people see him in a similar vein to how i've always viewed him. there's so many characters in etn, many of which who are complex and astonishingly human in the most interesting of ways, yet i keep coming back to matthew constantly. as you said in the end, he just has this undescribable pull on everyone around him that can't be understood or logically reasoned with. his traits are beyond hate-able and his wishy-washy nature should, by all means, make people hate him and distrust him. this is a death game! the last person you want to devote yourself to and bend over backwards for is a guy like mat ... but nobody in the show hates him, and neither do the fans of the show. the way he wraps people around his finger? the way he makes people want to do anything for him, makes even the most selfish of people want to be better? all while not trying that hard? it's insane. has he ever considered starting a cult? because he'd kill it. ahem! back on track, however!
'there is no in-between with that man' is exactly what makes his love for others ( his attachment ) so devastatingly intense and extreme. it's also why he has the capacity for cruelty that even the most 'mean' people in his season hasn't done nor thought of ... his sudden apathy and pettiness towards nikita and manny in ep9's death challenge comes out of nowhere, and joey of all people is completely taken aback and borderline appalled by his behavior in that moment. but in a split second, he's back to loving those two with a fierceness and, after being so clearly hurt by manny's passing, goes right into comfort and protect mode with nikita -- someone who, mind you, he just casually admitted to wanting her to die over manny not even minutes prior. it's this bizarre sense of wishy-washy behavior except it isn't, not really, since all those emotions don't come from a real place of apathy. there's not a part of the detective that can be described as uncaring because his entire problem, the crux of his character, is that he cares too much. in the best ways, the worst ways, and the selfish ways. most people in etn have this moment where you see them switch off so to speak, where they take a step back from others because they acknowledge there's either a.) no time for emotions or personal opinions, or b.) caring about these strangers will only make things harder, so there's no point. mat is a character who never has that moment and actively goes against these 'rules' at every turn, and honestly, he's probably a big part of why s3's group seems to care more about each other then the two groups before them. he just loves people so much! it's like this thing he can't help but do. and you're totally right with the fact he tries covering it up -- where he says mean things or does something specifically to someone with the intent to hurt, like he's trying to burn his barely formed bridges and be this perfect uneffected leader ... but he can't commit to it. it's like he either gets attention from that person again and just flings himself into them full force, or he misses them. which is crazy! how can you miss someone you don't know that well? but mat does, all the time.
and it's such a selfless thing, initially, if you're labeled as someone who loves so much and cares too deeply. when you're someone who's helpless to this nature. except, again, the detective's love isn't exactly unconditional. it is, but it isn't. he'll always come back to someone and dote on them, yet there are consequences to being someone he cares about. with mortimer and the town of everlock, matthew is consistent. nobody's ever 'punished' and he overall doesn't care for how these people act because he has no love for them whatsoever. this man even has the audacity to be like “you're welcome.” in this plain ass tone to maria in ep8 when she's gushing about how she's gotten her life back, because it wasn't worth the price of rosanna's. sure, he joins in on that group hug and eases himself onto manny's shoulder after -- but while the other three rejoice about how they're actually saving people, about how their deaths won't be meaningless, the detective is oddly quiet despite the smile on his face. he might love fiercely and hate twice as hard with his group, but like you said! he'd be willing to fight or kill anyone, including burning all of everlock to the ground with the residents inside it, if it meant the people he loves would stop dying. he stays gloomy and cynical about this by the end of the episode and at the start of the next. like he's waving this massive sign around that reads “hey! noticed you guys are falling into the belief that these randos' lives are worth more than yours! so i'll remember how stupid and awful and not true this is since i guess you guys forgot to.” which is ironic since these people are just as innocent as them, and just as foreign to matthew as a majority of his so called 'loved ones' tonight ... he just can't see that and so passionately distrusts everyone else's intentions and character besides his group. he's totally willing to forgive joey, but saving some poor guy tied up and begging for help? yeah, fuck him. mat's gonna drag his feet to help and keep trying to convince manny, nikita, ro, and joey to leave the bastard for dead. there's only one thing he wouldn't do for who he loves and that's die for them, but that's genuinely the only thing ; he has no boundaries, no reservations, no things he wouldn't share or do or forgive them for, it's just that he's not willing to get himself killed. crazy behavior, if you think about it.
also, thank you, thank you, thank you for the nikita comment, because that's exactly the thing isn't it? these claims that he doesn't like this side of her that he's seeing, that she's darker and more competitive, are flimsy at best and false at worst. matthew has always known who nikita is since the jump, has labeled her as someone who stirs the pot and is well versed in being mean. basically admits he sees her as just her title and nothing more since, when he votes her in come ep3, his reasoning is “we don't need troublemakers in the group.” to him, nikita is dramatic, troublesome, and someone who's willing to do anything for herself. she's a person who doesn't care for others, much less someone who experiences grief to any degree. it's a shallow read of her character but it's a conclusion we see mat come to because of all he's witnessed from her early on : demeaning roi until he sacrifices himself ( for mat, funnily enough ), belittling teala, and even cheering for manny during the challenge that gets matthew killed. it's a nature he struggles with hating yet it's one he loves nikita in spite of and one he loves her for. you see his hatred for this in early episodes, but his adoration for it shows just as much in later parts of their journey together. he almost drowns her in praise in ep9 because of how effortlessly she's won ( only to condemn her for this later, oh mat ) and actively tries engaging in this 'competitive' side of hers in s4, where he's all smiles and playful with her. he wasn't 'surprised' by nikita's behavior in ep7 as much as he was probably blindsighted by it. mat, fresh and high off his revival and the love he was shown, had probably forgotten this was how these people were normally. maybe he painted nikita as some secretive major softie in his head and when that didn't add up, he became unsatisfied and irrational and began changing this view to claim she was becoming someone she wasn't ... despite her being that way all along. you see this sorta behavior from him, this like, i decide how you really are and what you think, because when nikita tries apologizing and explaining herself he so rudely cuts her off and hammers down on his view of things. again, nikita most likely was trying to get mat to grasp that he's never been in a challenge with his best friend before, that this was what he wouldn't get, but mat angrily assumes she's stupid enough to think he doesn't get what being in a challenge and almost dying is like. eventually nikita stops trying with him, but this isn't because of her, it's entirely due to him retreating down a road where he's not letting anyone reach him anymore, for a while. it's also so telling how loved he is because almost every etn fan came out of ep7 hating nikita and believing mat's warped and untrue view of her. despite us seeing physical proof of nikita saying safiya's death saddens her, we fall for mat's claims that she delighted in safiya's death.
( which is something he quickly forgives her for all things considered lol. also, i love nikita because she and mat are two sides of the same coin. she's different to mat in a way that makes them exactly the same. mat is portrayed as selfless individual, a good person, a leader, when he's genuinely the most selfish guy around who picks favorites and would let innocents die simply because of biased views and reasoning. nikita, on the other hand, is portrayed as selfish and vain and inherently bad ; when she's the only one continuously pushing the group forward like a true leader, when she's willing to stick her hands into places where she could lose them because no one else wants to, and helps people without a second thought and does, quietly, feel devastated when people die. there's truth to these surface level reads of them both but that is not all they are. these are mainly fronts, purposefully put on or not, with elements of truth. like, nikita and mat are so similar they even have green and yellow-coded best friends who are their better and more sympathetic halves. nobody's doing it like them! )
the detective is short tempered, he's an attention whore, and has severe attachment issues and i adore him to bits and pieces haha. and love the little bit where you say he 'tries to take it all back' when he loves and hates because i think guilt and regret are huge parts of him too. it's another thing that pushes him into doing dangerous missions and dedicating himself to a bad way of life just as much as his love. he wants a do-over with jc, he wants to save roi who he let die for him, he wants to not vote in teala despite the cost, he wants to be able to have the guts to tell safiya she was secretly one of his favorites, and he wishes he wasn't a coward and that he would've tried to save rosanna rather than just talk to her, etc etc. probably would give almost anything to see manny again and take back how he acted in the ep9 death challenge, because the record producer was someone he was so fond of and consistently treated well, and then he let one petty moment be the last thing they'll ever have together. mat is someone founded on this guilt, regret, love, and he proves you can adore someone with your whole being and still treat them unfairly. there's so many layers to him and if he wasn't as crazy, needy, destructive, and charming as he was i wouldn't have fallen for etn as much as i did. he is the moment and if he comes back in s5 i hope people remember these things about him because i find the fanon detective so boring. let him be his messy, hypocritical, judgemental self! it's so much more fun.
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