#he had seizures because of this
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Not only is having a mental health diagnosis in your records not neutral, but it is dangerous. Not just in the medical setting, but, yeah, including within the medical setting.
You are immediately less likely to be believed. You are immediately more likely to receive lower quality care, no matter what symptoms you're experiencing or whether or not it's considered a "physical" vs. "mental" issue. Everything will be attributed to your diagnosis, and depending on the nature of that MH diagnosis. Considering that most of these diagnosis are based in racial and gendered biases, among other things, they are "scientific" ways of declaring certain demographics less deserving of care in the medical setting.
A mental health diagnosis should not make you a second-class citizen during a medical emergency. The stigma is baked into these diagnoses, and it's killing people.
#text#my stuff#antipsych#antipsychiatry#medical abuse#sanism#ableism#reminder that having ANY MH diagnosis is dangerous in a medical setting#just as recently as the pandemic people with ADHD learning disorders and autism had DNRs put on them without consent or knowledge#alexander morris was having chest pains and breathing problems#and the MOMENT they thought he was 'crazy' they immediately denied him appropriate care and denied him oxygen#he had seizures because of this
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raph and mikey finally feeling the consequences of being milked
#mikey has a seizure seconds after the video ends. this is not self indulgent whatsoever#i had to crop something out the video and that ruins the image quality for some reason 😭😭#so sorry about that#rip raph and mikey. things are only gonna get worse 👍🏼#probably more so for mikey… he was milked for a LOT longer than raph#those poor guys 😭😭#tmnt raph#mutant mayhem raph#mm raph#tmnt mikey#mutant mayhem mikey#mm mikey#tmnt#mutant mayhem#tmnt mm#i keep instinctively typing tales of the tmnt because i post about it more#however i’m not gonna tag it because this is more about mutant mayhem
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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As a big sibling with a lil sib with epilepsy, when they read TBC they Honestly thought if they got struck with lightning reciting the lord's prayer they'd be cured like Shadowsight is from their epilepsy. I had a discussion with them on how that's not how it works, but ge was so upset they took it away from Shadowsight that he hasn't picked the books back up and has stated that 'he hopes Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.,'
I do not even know how to respond to this besides saying that your little sibling is 100% right to be pissed and I now also hope Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.
#Legit I did not know that Shadow's epilepsy being taken away was so deeply upsetting to SO MANY people#I put it back because putting it back was just the right thing to do (even asked the small following I had at the time what type to portray#(they picked the full tonic-clonics. I would have just done localized or absence if they'd asked me to)#And I did all that research for one single anon who asked for an epilepsy herb guide#So holy cow I didn't know that SO MANY people were snubbed and upset by canon's choice to do that. I'm so sorry#Your little sib isn't missing anything btw they do just go on to confirm that Shadow no longer has seizures.#In book 4 of TBC they say that it was all Ash all along and that's what they've stuck with into ASC#I'm sitting on an essay about... That plot thread. The Ashfur Grooming one#But it's in my drafts because I was a bit afraid of controversy#because i think it was written poorly. Even on top of Book 4's pivot to retcon away Shadow's seizures#I know a lot of people like and are invested in the grooming subplot of TBC. But. I think it was executed AWFULLY#and its really telling that THIS is the plot they tout as grooming *by name* in-canon.--#--and that Shadow has to 'pay' for what he 'did' in some way as if there was ever a choice in the books they wrote--#--But seemingly didn't even seem to clock that what was happening in Spotted's H was grooming until there was intense backlash#and a big part of my contention is the way that Book 4 suddenly tries to retcon that Shadow was groomed from the time he was a child#when it was actually part of book 1 that Shadow was able to personally tell the difference between a real vision and Ash's suggestions--#--BECAUSE he didn't have an accompanying seizure#So like... just know it's also NOT just 'you' if you connected to the character that was epileptic. It WAS there. It was a BIG part of him#Book 4 retconned it so that his epilepsy was part of a long scheme when before that point it was part of him#''ohh ur destiny is to see into the shadows'' BULL SHIT!!#bone babble
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#he was literally fine yesterday evening#and then had six seizures overnight#and he's got diazepam now but the vet is not very hopeful that they'll work because she thinks it's a tumor and not an acute toxic issue#so he might be going tomorrow#but even if he doesn't then it'll be whilst we're in australia#not knowing was worse but im still a fucking mess#pet death cw
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a lot of people seem to use Entry #61 as 'proof' for the crux of the "Brian didn't care about Tim, he was Taking Advantage of Tim's conditions and Forcing him to work as part of totheark" thing, but honestly when you think about it there's no possible way Brian could have possibly orchestrated that series of events, like you almost have to interpret that as a baffling group of coincidences
#N posts stuff#mh lb#it's not like Brian has loads of mutual friends that he could ask to call Tim out one night; Tim's departure right as Brian showed up#just has to be a coincidence ; second yes. Brian does steal Tim's meds & that's a dick move but it's almost safe to assume#that Tim and Brian had been sharing prescriptions back in S1 - that's why the pills were at Brian's house that time Jay broke in#even if Tim no longer remembers that agreement it's not like Brian is brimming with other options so i can see the throughline of it#but there's NO way that Brian knew that 1) Tim was going to immediately turn around and come back home OR#2) be in the throes of an attack when he did so ; there's no Possible way he planned for that -- even if you Could assume that like. what#Brian 'knows' the operator is following him & Somehow orchestrated an encounter 1) no that doesn't make any sense and#2) that Still doesn't make any sense bc Tim has been Plenty Close to the Operator before w/ almost no negative effects (like in#Entry 17 when it's Right behind him) so there's no possible way Brian could have predicted that would unfold this way#sure it's weird he sets up the camera in the closet before Tim comes back but that Could Have been something unrelated#after all sometimes Brian DOES deliberately put himself on camera so someone knows he's responsible for something#or maybe he even planned to leave the camera there for later but it doesn't make Sense to interpret that as him Knowing what would happen#like don't get me wrong i'm not trying to say Brian is a pinnacle of ethics and moral behavior lmfao but also it's like#a kind of incomprehensible argument to make that he was Responsible for Triggering Tim's seizure that night when for all the#information Brian had on hand when he broke in he'd think Tim probably wouldn't be back home until much later#(''but the Creators Clearly intended'' yeah sure but since the creators also failed to establish a coherent series of events that SHOW#it then like. the intent doesn't matter anymore; sure they scripted the events in close succession but that doesn't mean they#scripted Intent & if they meant to then they did a bad job portraying it to the point the supposed intent is meaningless sorry lmao)#and EVEN IF you get this far and you're Still like 'but tim went after Jay and Brian would've Known he'd do that' like. no he wouldn't#because in Entry 18 when we see Tim have a seizure the first thing he does when jay approaches him after it is Run Away#so Again there's no consistent throughline of behaviors that Brian could have Possibly known about to orchestrate jack shit
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Niklas Kahl | Shock to the system
#niklas kahl#lord of the lost#shock to the system#my gifs#had to change the concept for nik‘s giset a little#because most of the parts where he was shown there was these horrible red and blue lights behind him#which sure look cool in the mv but can also trigger serious seizures so … nah … none of that here#plus the flashin light would have distracted too much from nik‘s beautiful face anyway right? :)#queue are not the bug queue are the patch
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2019 being half a decade ago is fucking me up. That year was wild as hell and yet somehow managed to be the most recent "normal" year we've had
#i don't even remember most of that year tbh i just know it was wild from context clues in my memory lol#my memory from 2019-beginning of 2022 is mostly wiped from seizures#i know i was in a week long relationship after breaking up with D for a while#and that I had my first seizure while with that dude and broke up w him because his friends accused me of faking my first seizure#and he gave me trich#and then I got unlawfully arrested in november#that's all i remember from 2019. literally.#2020 pandemic my dad died i moved out of my friends apartment. that's it#2021 i moved into my apartment got my cats dyed my hair. that's it#.bdo
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Physically, I'm already lying down.
Emotionally, I feel like I need to find a soft spot and crumple dramatically to the ground and lay down for a few weeks.
#sonder speaks#personal#but also if I wasn't fine with this being read/reblogged without context I wouldn't have posted it here#this week has been exhausting#I feel like I need permission from someone to go crawl into a nest and cry#one of my budgies died a few days ago#but I was looking after other animals that normally have a more dedicated caretaker#which was hard enough to handle that I couldn't really mourn my budgie much#especially when I need to keep happy around the remaining one so he doesn't grieve or get lonely#and I had to do a few specific tasks that are really really hard on me because nobody was there to help#and I tried to help my sister with things but none of the things worked#and a plan our family is excited about started to hit roadblocks#and one member of the family had a meltdown that triggered trauma in others in the family and drove things downhill#the family members at the center of this meltdown normally help me with chores and animal care#I was looking forward to them being home so I could rest and recuperatr and mourn#and now the meltdown has followed them here and it's built on top of years of other meltdowns and everything is tense#and of course it's bringing up old traumas and expectations and fears for me too#and I end up as a 30 year old feeling like he has 16 year old problems again#my whole body is tense#I'm not tired enough to sleep#I almost feel like crying for my budgie and all my fears and the things I let mysrlf get excited for#the things that either won't happen at all or are tainted by this veil of persistent bitterness that followed them home to me#almost#but I fear the possibility that crying could make things worse in any capacity#and I've struggled to cry for years anyway#so I'm just trying to use therapy tools to quiet the spiraling thoughts#and making this post because it feels like journaling without the pitfalls I fall into while journaling or talking directly to a person#hoping I'll get enough sleep that I don't accidentally trigger a sleep-deprivation/stress seizure my meds can't stop#and tomorrow I have to get back to studying which is very hard for me but gets me closer to making money#I liked when things were mostly good and calm and just sucked on a passive level -- can I have that again?
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lol i wish i had so much weed rn
#one of our dogs just had a seizure maybe possibly? he seems fine but my mom was in catastrophic meltdown mode#and my dad turns into asshole mode because tbh he isn't the most compassionate person in times of emotional crisis#anyway i wanna get so fucking stoned i forget my name but all i have left is a joint#and im too broke for anything else right now#i despise the way drinking makes me feel after so i can't even turn to alcohol#im extremely miserable today sorry#personal
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"In reality Richard III invented a Woodville scare as a screen for his own conspiracy"
-A.J Pollard, "Richard III and the Princes in the Tower"
#lmao#richard iii#my post#I think that's true for all usurpations and coups to an extent#but its 10x more applicable and accurate for Richard III#Not only because of the compressed length of time (a mere 3 months as opposed to years of back-and-forth tensions)#but also because ultimately one of the key reasons Richard could do what he did was because he did it from the heart of the political#institution (ie he was an internal threat rather than an external one)#and he was someone who was trusted and loved rather than mistrusted and hated. His betrayal was political but it also had far more personal#ramifications for everyone involved - most people simply did not expect it from him and cooperated with him precisely because of that#which enabled him to seize power before most people even realized what he was doing#And there's the fact that he actually did stage a conspiracy by accusing the Woodvilles of plotting to attack and ambush him#and produced weapons from his own war in Scotland as fake 'proof' - when in fact we know that HE deceived and ambushed THEM#there's also the (propagandic) lie that they usurped him from the position as Lord Protector when they certainly didn't#either Edward IV didn't appoint Richard Lord Protector meaning the Woodvilles denied him nothing#OR the council collectively chose to have a council rule during Edward V's minority rather than a Protector (something they were entirely#within their rights to do both socially and legally)#so claims that they wrongly defied Edward IV's last wishes or broke the law (which Mancini repeats in his account) must be seen as exactly#that - propagandic lies to vilify EW and her family#when in fact Richard was the one plotting a seizure of power - whether it was as Lord Protector or as King#(of course these are just two things - there's a whole laundry list of others)#so this is definitely applicable to him
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you know, i watch true crime, listen to true crime podcasts and read books on true crime... sometimes i'm left thinking about how the actual FUCK some people are police officers, in all fucking honesty. some of them are pure evil in the disguise of being a "good person" bc they wear the uniform that is supposed to SERVE and PROTECT the people of their town, city and country and some of them are just purely fucking stupid. this is me being nice about it, btw. like damn, i can't wait to join the police and actually whip my team into shape and you can bet your bottom dollar i'll have my own team when i join because i'm not studying my ass off to do an undergraduate and a masters degree for less than that.
#just watched an interrogation of a man who was shot in the eye (the freaking EYE) and LIVED#the interrogation went on for 56 minutes before the officer thought to seek medical help for the guy#you would think they would have done that before questioning him so wtf?????????#the paramedics arrived and he STILL tried to question him before he left#the guy literally said in his interrogation that he and his girlfriend (who died instantly) fell asleep#meaning he obviously passed out after being freaking shot in the head and the officer was confused by this#the guy had a very visible gun shot wound in the eye so like... how could he be making this up???#he was being interrogated longer than necessary and he kept telling the officer he just wanted to sleep#??????????#the guy ended up having damage to the brain and serious seizures after that#and my blood is RAGING because a few years later this guy died either by suicide or by seizure (idk which one)#i strongly believe they need to weed out the wrongens and replace them with genuinely decent people#it's easier said than done unfortunately#but like... my brain hurts from ranting about this#i think all officers should be trained on medical care and if they are then they need to actually pay attention in the training
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feels like i'm stuck in the hellscape that i left after covid but it's just living alone with my dad for more than a weekend
#also i've figured out what's wrong with my cat. i know i shouldn't google diagnose and i'm not a vet (much as i'd like to be)#nor is my human medical knowledge very extensive despite the degree#i also know i'm too anxious about this stuff#but i think he had a seizure#right in front of me#won't go into detail because i'll spiral if i type it out#was sat on the ground with him after that and my dad decides it's the right time to have a go at me#berating me for leaving the room every time he enters#which i did once because he was crashing plates together and i'm autistic ffs#i need to finish studying because there's nothing i can do for my cat other than watch him and make sure he doesn't fall#he's got a small cut on his noise from yesterday which i've tried to clean but he's too wiggly#was a worm in a previous life confirmed#i'm so paranoid that it's not a cut and actually just a bleeding nose#he seems happy and chill as per usual but i need to say something to someone idk what to do#my dad has lived with this cat for 10 years and still avoids referring to him or calling him by his name so that's out of the question#i won't talk to my brother about it because i'd be pushing onto him what's probably just paranoia that he really doesn't need to hear#so i'll tumblr vent. and wait for my mum to get back#should be tomorrow then i'll feel like i'm a real person again
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tfw you are trying to come out to your boyfriend but he figured out you were a supervillain a few months ago and thinks that’s what youre about to tell him
#this is so fucking funny to me honestly#i had planned to use a guide later to maximize ortega’s suspicion without causing a seizure in rebirth#because i want to see what happens if i confess in the car and he already knows#but i might not have to because i dont think the line about not being able to interpret his expression#was there the times ive done this scene with rook#fallen hero retribution spoilers
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This song feels like a big warm hug 🥺
#this is the 3rd time i've watched it im sobbing#I lost my dad two years ago.#throughout my life he was the one showing me songs. He loved playing music on his computer#he encouraged me to sing#he recorded videos of me singing (i still have one of those recordings)#He had a guitar but never had the time to teach me#He was always so proud of me when i sang even tho looking back i kinda was just off key but i didnt care because I enjoyed it#It's like he was my biggest fan#my best friend even#Unfortunately I had to watch his cancer worsen#And eventually watch his body slowly give up.. from the moment i got to his room and he was having a seizure of some sort#Til' he couldn't wake up anymore#I could still picture his feet turning purple in my head#I used to be so outgoing but since then everything just changed#i became introverted#i learned to distract myself but i never learned how to heal#i became aloof.. distant and somewhat closeted#i didn't want anyone else's company but my own#i've gone through anxiety and had a few attacks#but although i was different.. i didn't change either#people kept telling me i was so caring.. i could fit the whole world in my heart#i understand what people go through although i cannot relate sometimes#The pain is alike#i try my best to atleast help those people in pain#i stopped singing at parties and anywhere with karaoke in it#Because even though there are still people who support me.. it's not the same.#I didn't have my first best friend. My first biggest fan.#it's not like hes a perfect father either.. he has his issues.. but i've never smiled or laughed that hard with anyone else#i've grown so distant with people.. especially my mother#the way suzu declines her dad's offers.. i find some resemblance with myself
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once again feeling mildly shitty on a day of celebrating my birthday
#because its fine when my brother asks people to not do things because hes had a seizure and naturally feels shit after it#but when i ask him to not do z because it causes me to tic painfully i am being unreasonable#and also mom HAS to bring up the fact that oh the neighbour doesnt get any friends to visit for her birthday so she may be autistic#which like i know i dont have any irls but you bringing it up will only make me feel like shit#and how am i supposed to make any irl friend when i don't have work nkw and whne I do get work there prolly wont be much kids my age workin#and i do not go to the sports anymore because dysphoria#and there arent any other clubs here i wanna sign up for#i dont think texting my friends who aslo graduated months after is such a good idea because most of them are also in school now and they ha#vent once texted me after#just ugh let me be and have a fun birthday for once#and my brother has to play that game which makes so much noise and makws me not want to sit downstairs and instead be all alone upstairs
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