#he gets worse with every iteration

[dafukdidiwatch]

Corpse just evolved into a giant spider crab and I wish I had the power of gun

[mechahero]

//Booted up Xeno.verse again just to make a silly little what if design.

[g00ngala]

since this is my blog and i feel like it im gonna rant about tmnt for a second. ive said before that tmnt 2012 has a lot of writing problems and it extends to all the characters of the show however the people who say raph in 2012 is abusive EXPLODE AND DIE FOR REAL that guy is my best friend. yes i hate the show but 12 raph is still my boy. blaming him exclusively for the general group attitude of the other brothers not respecting mikey because they play up the brotherly rough housing is unfair also he easily gets the most shit from splinter (who i HATE in this iteration) like you can clearly see where he got his issues from and it's directly from his dad. leave the 15 year old turtle alone 😭

[onesidedradiostatic]

Imagine hell has to defend itself against heaven again and this time the overlords are actually plotting together about it. So they're trying to come up with a battle plan and Velvette brings these figurines to put on the map. Most of them are just little faceless mannequins she uses for her outfit designs and she's written everyone's names on them. But one of them is a very realistic, very detailed Alastor figurine in a wedding dress.

And Carmilla is like "Okay so we need to figure out how we're going to forcibly close the portal to heaven— Alastor, you've been very quiet and thinking, do you have an idea?"

And Alastor just looks up at Velvette and gestures towards the figurine very calmly but with a twitching eye and goes "Why do you have this?"

HEL:DPGLPSHKPSGSDPOKO ANON I'M CRYING. can we bring this back into the lucifer commission saga and say lucifer was commissioned by vox to make that figurine. add this on to lucifer deciding to join an overlord meeting just to try and keep more in touch with the sinners and he's like "oh! I made that" and alastor's like "you WHAT" and velvette goes "YOU'RE the one vox commissioned this from??" and alastor's like "vox WHAT??????????" and then they sing a reprise of "you didn't know?"

every iteration of this gets worse and worse I'm sorry.

[puppy-stevee]

promise you forever

steddie ☆ 971 ☆ cw: none ☆ appalachian eddie ☆ao3

“phone for ya, eds,” wayne chuckles as he comes out of the house to the front porch where everyone’s sitting. “think your boy’s had one too many.”

eddie frowns and stamps down the worry bubbling inside him. steve rarely ever drinks anymore. doesn’t smoke anymore, either. not since starcourt. eddie slides off the porch swing where he’d been sitting with his aunt pep and goes inside to the wall phone in the kitchen, the receiver laying on the counter.

“steve?” he says, lifting the phone to his ear.

“country boy, i love youuuuuuuu!”

steve’s words are slurred, which doesn’t make eddie any less panicked. what happened? was he okay? eddie leaves to visit his family for one week and he can’t seem to escape the horrors that hawkins, indiana seems to breed every day.

“stevie? baby, you okay?” eddie tries to keep his voice from shaking.

there’s a laugh on the other line and steve flat out yells into the phone, “eddie! hi!” yep. he’s definitely drunk. eddie strains to hear any background noise that would give any hints as to where steve is at, but it’s silent.

eddie’s knuckles grip the phone. “where are you, sweetheart? are you safe?”

steve makes a grumbling noise, like he’s talking to someone else and eddie doesn’t know if that makes him feel better or worse.

“i’m fiiiiiine, eds,” steve says after another second of grumbling. “teds. teddy. teddy bear.” he starts listing ever iteration of eddie’s name, and eddie doesn’t want him to stop. if he keeps going, then eddie knows he’s not in immediate danger.

“dingus! stop hogging the phone!”

wait.

“robbie, i’m trying to talk to me boyfriend,” steve whines and there’s sounds of a scuffle and “no—hey—robin, it’s still my turn—!”

“hi, eddie!” robin’s voice is suddenly in his ear and sounding just as drunk as steve. jesus christ, eddie’s never leaving them unsupervised again.

eddie sighs and runs a hand down his face. “robin, where the hell are you? and why are you drunk?” these two are gonna finish what the bats started and put him in an early grave, he swears it.

on her end, robin groans. “dingus!” she scolds steve. “you didn’t remind him?”

“remind me of what, bobbie?” eddie asks. now that he’s sure the two of them are somewhat coherent and probably not in danger, he feels so fucking tired all of a sudden.

“it’s my birthday, doofus!”

well now eddie feels awful. steve reminded him before he and wayne left, but in all the excitement of seeing the rest of his family again, it slipped eddie’s mind.

robin continues, “and you, theodore munson!”

if eddie thought he was off the hook, he’s dead wrong. he’s never hearing the end of this now. it’s not likely, but maybe luck will be on his side for once and she’ll forget this conversation ever happened.

“you owe me a birthday breakfast, lunch, and dinner when you get back. and you have to buy me a present.”

eddie rests his forehead on the wall as a laugh bubbles up out of his chest at the ridiculousness of the situation. “alright, birdie,” he promises. “as soon as i get back, i’ll start right on it and get you the most expensive present i can afford.”

“it better break your bank account, munson!” she threatens, but eddie knows she’s bluffing.

“alright, birthday girl, can you put steve back on?”

robin yells out for steve. “you better not be doing any hanky panky on my birthday, dingus,” she warns before steve comes on the line.

“hi, baby.” he’s definitely still drunk, but he’s quieter, not yelling into the phone like he was a few minutes ago.

warmth fills eddie’s chest and he leans his shoulder on the wall, angling himself away from the door to give himself a sense of privacy in case anyone comes inside. “hey sweetheart,” he says just as softly. “you two having fun?”

he can practically see steve’s nod. “mhm,” he confirms. “miss you, though. wish you were here.”

eddie’s gonna marry this boy someday, just you wait.

“i miss you, too, sugar,” eddie tells him. “wayne said he thinks you’ve had a little too much to drink.”

“no i haven’t!” steve’s voice raises for a second before dropping back down again. “just had one… three… four beers, i promise.”

eddie hums, not bothering to hide the amused grin on his face. “uh-huh. s'at why you sound drunker than a skunk, right now, sweet thing?”

steve huffs and eddie wants so badly to kiss the pout off his boyfriends lips. “m'not drunk,” he says without any real argument.

“alright, i believe you,” eddie concedes. he can’t help but to let a little worry back in. he bites his lip. “can you promise me something, stevie?”

steve’s answer is immediate and almost shatters eddie’s heart. “i’ll promise you forever, teddy.”

eddie takes a breather to calm himself down so he doesn’t jump in wayne’s truck and make the five hour drive back to hawkins. “promise me you’ll call nancy if either of you start to feel weird?”

steve hums in his ear, like a purring cat. “i promise, baby. cross my heart ‘n everything.”

eddie grins and wishes he was there in front of him so he could touch him. “thank you. i won’t keep you any longer, then. i’m sure birdie’s getting impatient.”

“she’s always impatient,” steve huffs. “it’s her best quality.”

there’s no argument there.

“i love you, stevie. call me tomorrow when you wake up?”

steve sighs softly. “i love you, eddie.” he makes exaggerated kissing noises over the phone until he hangs up.

eddie hangs the receiver up. he’s here in his grandmother’s kitchen, surrounded by his family, but his heart has never felt as full as it does in this moment.

buy me a ☕?

[moonlightcycle571]

The Cons of being Omni-lingual

I made a post about the pros of being omni lingual. Did you really think I would make fluff without making any angst? *insert evil laugh*

As established, Cap can speak any language and knows what’s your Native tongue. Cool right? Wrong.

There’s a reason he hates speaking Themesquiran. Wonder Woman was NOT the first Amazonian he ever met. No, the first time he met one of the warrior women, it was when he was doing a sort of quest as part of his Champion duties where he met an Amazonian away from home. Seeing that she wasn’t affected by All Speak (a type of magic that lets magical or magical adjacent speak in accordance to their environment), he decides to speak Themesquiran. It does not go well. Gets insulted, accused of many things, immediate battle that he doesn’t want to be in. It’s all around not a good thing for him.

So no Diana, he will not be speaking that language, he knows it’s a trap (the last Amazonian said it was OK, but then threw an axe at his head out of reflex)

A very similar experience happened with the Valkery.

Another thing is the suspicion. Sure most of the time, it evaporates after you get to meet him, but it still hurts. What; you think Waller will think ✨magic✨ is a good enough explanation, and not try to pry into his life? Or try to exploit this other facette of him?

It gets especially rough when people don’t take it well. His a big buff white guy, so sometimes speaking more obscure language, or even any non European language, is at best seen as a parlour trick, at worst seen as an insult (how dare he defile our sacred language with his ‘dark arts’).

Another thing to note is that Billy started young. In some iterations, he started at age 8 and joins the JL at 10. So when he hears people curse him under their breath, or even to his face, in another language… he knows. He knows most people don’t think is human, and sometimes doesn’t treat him like one (it doesn’t hurt, really). He knows exactly what people say about him (be it his Cap form or Billy form). And maybe calling them out will make them worse. He’s already been called a freak enough times by his uncle and various foster families, he doesn’t need more

Maybe sometimes he would get captivated by languages long gone, and have access to tidbits of their history, but not have anyone to talk to about it. How many of the languages were forgotten and changed over time, and how many were forcibly destroyed? Would he mourn a civilisation he never knew? Was it even human? The day he found out one of his favourite obscure languages was Kryptonian, his powers opened up a bit, to see what the civilisation was like, and how it ended. He mourns in private and never tells a soul. Cap is not Kryptonian or ever been to Krypton, he has no right to openly mourn. If Supergirl noticed something different in her and Caps hang outs, she says nothing

The worst is when he forgets a word. It happens to everyone, and maybe he was in a place that makes magic glitch. It doesn’t matter. As soon as he finished the mission, he rushes back to the rock to make sure he knows EVERY language. He not forgetting, no, he refuses to forget any language. Especially since for a lot of them, he’s the only one that still remembers them (he may not know the context or culture, but at least he can keep something alive).

[werepuppy-steve]

promise you forever

steddie ☆ 971 ☆ cw: none ☆ appalachian eddie ☆ ao3

“phone for ya, eds,” wayne chuckles as he comes out of the house to the front porch where everyone’s sitting. “think your boy’s had one too many.”

eddie frowns and stamps down the worry bubbling inside him. steve rarely ever drinks anymore. doesn’t smoke anymore, either. not since starcourt. eddie slides off the porch swing where he’d been sitting with his aunt pep and goes inside to the wall phone in the kitchen, the receiver laying on the counter.

“steve?” he says, lifting the phone to his ear.

“country boy, i love youuuuuuuu!”

steve’s words are slurred, which doesn’t make eddie any less panicked. what happened? was he okay? eddie leaves to visit his family for one week and he can’t seem to escape the horrors that hawkins, indiana seems to breed every day.

“stevie? baby, you okay?” eddie tries to keep his voice from shaking.

there’s a laugh on the other line and steve flat out yells into the phone, “eddie! hi!” yep. he’s definitely drunk. eddie strains to hear any background noise that would give any hints as to where steve is at, but it’s silent.

eddie’s knuckles grip the phone. “where are you, sweetheart? are you safe?”

steve makes a grumbling noise, like he’s talking to someone else and eddie doesn’t know if that makes him feel better or worse.

“i’m fiiiiiine, eds,” steve says after another second of grumbling. “teds. teddy. teddy bear.” he starts listing ever iteration of eddie’s name, and eddie doesn’t want him to stop. if he keeps going, then eddie knows he’s not in immediate danger.

“dingus! stop hogging the phone!”

wait.

“robbie, i’m trying to talk to me boyfriend,” steve whines and there’s sounds of a scuffle and “no—hey—robin, it’s still my turn—!”

“hi, eddie!” robin’s voice is suddenly in his ear and sounding just as drunk as steve. jesus christ, eddie’s never leaving them unsupervised again.

eddie sighs and runs a hand down his face. “robin, where the hell are you? and why are you drunk?” these two are gonna finish what the bats started and put him in an early grave, he swears it.

on her end, robin groans. “dingus!” she scolds steve. “you didn’t remind him?”

“remind me of what, bobbie?” eddie asks. now that he’s sure the two of them are somewhat coherent and probably not in danger, he feels so fucking tired all of a sudden.

“it’s my birthday, doofus!”

well now eddie feels awful. steve reminded him before he and wayne left, but in all the excitement of seeing the rest of his family again, it slipped eddie’s mind.

robin continues, “and you, theodore munson!”

if eddie thought he was off the hook, he’s dead wrong. he’s never hearing the end of this now. it’s not likely, but maybe luck will be on his side for once and she’ll forget this conversation ever happened.

“you owe me a birthday breakfast, lunch, and dinner when you get back. and you have to buy me a present.”

eddie rests his forehead on the wall as a laugh bubbles up out of his chest at the ridiculousness of the situation. “alright, birdie,” he promises. “as soon as i get back, i’ll start right on it and get you the most expensive present i can afford.”

“it better break your bank account, munson!” she threatens, but eddie knows she’s bluffing.

“alright, birthday girl, can you put steve back on?”

robin yells out for steve. “you better not be doing any hanky panky on my birthday, dingus,” she warns before steve comes on the line.

“hi, baby.” he’s definitely still drunk, but he’s quieter, not yelling into the phone like he was a few minutes ago.

warmth fills eddie’s chest and he leans his shoulder on the wall, angling himself away from the door to give himself a sense of privacy in case anyone comes inside. “hey sweetheart,” he says just as softly. “you two having fun?”

he can practically see steve’s nod. “mhm,” he confirms. “miss you, though. wish you were here.”

eddie’s gonna marry this boy someday, just you wait.

“i miss you, too, sugar,” eddie tells him. “wayne said he thinks you’ve had a little too much to drink.”

“no i haven’t!” steve’s voice raises for a second before dropping back down again. “just had one… three… four beers, i promise.”

eddie hums, not bothering to hide the amused grin on his face. “uh-huh. s'at why you sound drunker than a skunk, right now, sweet thing?”

steve huffs and eddie wants so badly to kiss the pout off his boyfriends lips. “m'not drunk,” he says without any real argument.

“alright, i believe you,” eddie concedes. he can’t help but to let a little worry back in. he bites his lip. “can you promise me something, stevie?”

steve’s answer is immediate and almost shatters eddie’s heart. “i’ll promise you forever, teddy.”

eddie takes a breather to calm himself down so he doesn’t jump in wayne’s truck and make the five hour drive back to hawkins. “promise me you’ll call nancy if either of you start to feel weird?”

steve hums in his ear, like a purring cat. “i promise, baby. cross my heart ‘n everything.”

eddie grins and wishes he was there in front of him so he could touch him. “thank you. i won’t keep you any longer, then. i’m sure birdie’s getting impatient.”

“she’s always impatient,” steve huffs. “it’s her best quality.”

there’s no argument there.

“i love you, stevie. call me tomorrow when you wake up?”

steve sighs softly. “i love you, eddie.” he makes exaggerated kissing noises over the phone until he hangs up.

eddie hangs the receiver up. he’s here in his grandmother’s kitchen, surrounded by his family, but his heart has never felt as full as it does in this moment.

🥐☕💕 buy me a coffee? taglist: @yournowheregirl @steves-strapcollection @thefreakandthehair @stobinesque @vecnuthy @tboygareth @starrystevie @inairbinad @flowercrowngods @starryeyedjanai @matchingbatbites @corrodedbisexual @theheadlessphilosopher @sidekick-hero @patchworkgargoyle @sentient-trash @wormdebut @legitcookie @corrodedcoughin @steddieas-shegoes @wynnyfryd

[knight-a3]

Just some pre-triple changer Blitzwing and his best buddy Astrotrain.

Some ideas for what happened to the other triple changers(aka every successful experiment has a few failures preceding it)

I ramble on under the cut

SO! I know the S4 plans had it outlined that Black Arachnia was the one who did the triple changer procedure on Blitzwing, but it doesn't totally make sense for her to do it imo. None of the S4 plans were ever set in stone anyway, so it's not actually canon. I just don't see much precedent for her to do that. Where did this medical skill set come from?

Historically, iterations of Shockwave have been the resident unethical scientists. In TFA, he was shown to be capable enough to restore Arcee's memory, so I think there's grounds to believe he can still play that role.

Whoever it was, Blitzwing couldn't be the first test subject. What other triple changers do we know of that could potentially meet a tragic fate? 🤔

So my idea was that the Decepticons captured three autobots and decided to use them as test subjects for this revolutionary new triple changer idea. Two alt forms? Truly a game changer!

Broadside was a former con(due to his jet alt form) turned autobot. He was a total failure. Never made it off the operating table.

Sandstorm lasted a little longer. But his body soon rejected the modifications, and he went offline.

Springer lasted long enough to be rescued/escape. But his mental stability gradually declined until the mods failed and he also died.

After these three experiments failed, they turned to some of their own troops.

Octane was not a particularly well respected Decepticon, which is why he ended up being a test subject. He survived, but suffered severe mental damage and was deemed useless. Probably tossed out like trash and left to rust. If not outright killed.

Astrotrain: Considered the first success. The mental damages were minimized and he was initially fairly stable, but his transformation abilities became more sluggish over time. And he suffered increasingly severe mental lapses. He'd either stare vacantly or suddenly drop into recharge mode. They were worse if he didn't get enough energon, gradually requiring more and more to keep him going. Weapons capabilities were lost to conserve energy. He was on a transport mission when a lapse got him killed and Blitzwing injured(which made him the next triple changer test subject).

(Also, I don't like drastic mass shifting, so Astrotrain is bigger than the others. And I think I'm gonna treat him more like he's a portable space bridge, rather than big enough to carry multiple Decepticons. He can bridge others from the decepticon base to himself, or to base from himself (it's still a strategic disadvantage compared to the autobots' large network of space bridges). This requires Astrotrain to still physically travel places in order to transport others. And losing weapon capabilities requires an escort to travel with him. The other option is a pocket dimension like Swindle's)

Blitzwing: His personality was fractured, leading to erratic behavior. Turns out the fracture eased the processing load caused by the triple changing modification. But otherwise in working order physically and mentally. He's lasted longer than the others, and his condition hasn't deteriorated since.

ANYWAY, this has been my attempt to reconcile some headcanons with canon. While also maybe tweaking canon a little to fit

[meanbossart]

Now I’m thinking about Astarion sitting on Bhaalist DU Drow’s chest and having to pause before and after every cut because there’s a bit of him that fucking hates what his life has become he’s not free, not really, he’s in a gilded cage with a jewel encrusted collar and it’s all the luxury he’s ever dreamed of but it’s not what he wanted

But also… this is the best he’s going to get, isn’t it? He can just sit back and look pretty, and that’s what he did before but at least with Bhaalist Drow he doesn’t have to worry about saying something wrong and being flayed and fed rotten rats.

Would Bhaalist Drow see it? Would he care? That fractional moment of indecision as Astarion thinks a bit too long and a bit too hard about how to handle the blade. That cut that ends/begins right at the corner of his eye, the same eye that held the tadpole that brought them together in the first place.

A subtle twitch of muscle as Astarion imagines for a moment the blade slipping to the wrong side of the socket…

(This got a bit away from me I think)

Hey glad you're having fun with the concept 👹

DU Drow would definitely see it, and he would definitely care, but ever since his pre-tadpole days he's had a supernatural skill for self-inflicted delusion and justification like none other. Once he makes his mind up about someone, it takes truly drastic measures to make him reevaluate his assumptions - this is especially true about romantic interests. Orin was just stubborn, but she would never dream of hurting him and will come around one day to accept his affections. Astarion isn't always satisfied with the limitations imposed upon him, but that's because he's ornery, and a little spoiled, of course he knows deep inside that this is for his own good, that they're soulmates.

All iterations of DU Drow believe in "tough love" and the idea that sometimes, you must do things that hurt your lover for their ultimate benefit. Campaign/post-tadpole DU Drow practices this a lot more reasonably, but as a Bhaalist and the all powerful slayer of the world the concept would be taken to it's worse extreme. Of course Astarion is often unhappy; that's because he doesn't understand the sacrifices that he must make for them, but he will eventually and then he will fall into place.

What he definitely wouldn't do is betray him in any way, just sulk and whine - anything beyond that is a complete impossibility in Du Drow's mind (and that goes for all versions of him, really).

[blazehedgehog]

what is the sonic franchise's problem? why does every concept have to be stretched to death and then discarded entirely?

"What is the Sonic franchise's problem" is such a broad question these days because there's so many layers to so many different parts of the franchise but ultimately it boils down to two things:

Time and money.

The way capitalism works in creative fields is that if you prove you can do it faster and cheaper, then you have to keep doing it faster and cheaper. The more you save the company time and money, the better it is for them.

And at least in the case of Sonic games, they've had long stints where they get made dangerously quickly. Even as far back as Sonic 2, that game spent a long time in the concept phase that eventually got thrown out as they rushed the final game to completion. Sonic 3 legendarily came together in as little as 6-9 months after the original pitch (a pseudo-3D isometric game) fell apart.

Sonic Adventure 2 was made by half the people in half the time as Sonic Adventure 1. Rush and crunch on Sonic Heroes was so bad one of their level designers was hospitalized for months due to exhaustion related illness. Takashi Iizuka stepped up and basically doubled his workload to cover for that guy and has publicly said he lost over 30 pounds because of the stress.

He then worked so hard on Shadow the Hedgehog, the next game after Sonic Heroes, that he straight up burned out and left the Sonic franchise for like six years. If you check the credits for Shadow, Takashi Iizuka is attached as the director, game designer, level designer, story writer, and CG movie supervisor. The dude carried half that entire game in an era where directors did not get their hands dirty like that.

Sonic Unleashed in 2008 was a change in form in that it was a very expensive game. So expensive that people working on the game complained that they were wasting too much money on details nobody would be able to appreciate because you were always moving too fast.

So Sega changed gears. Sonic Generations looked like another big money sink, so they brought in Morio Kishimoto, a guy who came up through games like Sonic & The Secret Rings and Sonic & The Black Knight. Secret Rings in particular was a huge success story for Sega: it was immensely cheap and produced incredibly quickly, and when compared to the bomb known as Sonic 06, Secret Rings looked and played like gold.

Kishimoto was given the dying embers of a failed Wii port of Sonic Generations, which he quickly and cheaply turned around into Sonic Colors, and again, it was a runaway success compared to the very expensive and divisive Sonic Unleashed.

And so once again, Sonic games erred towards faster and cheaper and faster and cheaper and faster and cheaper. That was Kishimoto's style.

I was watching someone stream Sonic Lost World for their first time a few days ago, and in theory, the concept of the game makes sense. Kishimoto is open about saying that Sonic Colors was them trying to inject a little Mario flavor into a Sonic game, so Sonic Lost World is trying to be Sonic Colors 2, and it's a lot more overt with its Mario inspiration. And it's a lot worse, too.

That's because Mario games incubate for years and years and years, building and iterating ideas until they are perfectly cut, highly polished finished products. Sonic games are rammed through production as fast as possible, square pegs forced through round holes, exhausted developers making the best of table scraps, and they are covered in rough edges and misshapen gameplay.

Every time you play a bad Sonic game and see the twinkle of a good idea, that's a seed of greatness that was not properly cultivated and given room to grow, because cheaper and faster makes them more money.

This is why you hear people say they hope the success of Sonic Frontiers will get Sega to increase the budget for future Sonic games again, because it's REALLY clear they were making a game out of basically nothing.

(I am not holding my breath.)

[lovelytsunoda]

sunday in heaven // jake "hangman" seresin

warm afternoons spent under blankets with hot drinks and paperbacks

jake’s favourite afternoons were spent with his fiancée and his dog, with hot drinks and a good book. nice and calm, different from his every day. but tell anybody that and he’d have to kill you.

pairing: jake seresin x fiancee reader

author's note: i bet this man is the biggest jack reacher fan on the goddamn planet. he will lie to your face about his book collection and then go home and stay up until 5am because 'babe, reacher's about to beat up like eight dudes and then fling one of them out a helicopter.'

"babe, the package is here!"

jake's shout echoes around the small house as he parades into the living room, shaking the amazon box in his hands. their dachshund, roxy, follows behind him, entranced by the cardboard box.

y/n stopped what she was doing, drying her hands off on the dish towel before turning to her fiancee with a giddy look on her face.

"what are you waiting for? let's open it!"

“hold your horses, sweet thing.” jake crooned, placing the box on the kitchen island before sitting down on the barstool, hefting roxy into his arms.

that was the first major misconception about lieutenant jake seresin. everyone who met him assumed he was a german shepherd kind of man, a golden retriever at the least. a large, energetic guard dog. but roxy was the most spoilt little dog in all of fightertown. he loved that dog more than he loved his truck, which was saying something.

roxy sat in his lap, standing up on her hind legs as she licked at his face, his fingers scratching behind her ears. y/n reached over the counter to run her hand over the dog's back a few times, before she pressed a kiss to jake’s cheek, and slipped a knife out of the block to slice the box open.

the small 'j' shaped pendant around her neck glittered as she leaned over to pull the paperbacks out of their box, a wide, giddy smile crossing her face as she flipped through the pages of the wife stalker by liv constantine, inhaling the smell of a brand new, unread book.

across the island, jake smiled at her, a lovesick expression in his eyes. they say that when you know, you know, and the first time she took him to a book store, he knew. he knew when she fangirled over emily henry and her written rom coms, and he knew when she admitted her love for the domestic thriller.

"look at this bad boy." he grinned, reaching for the smaller stack of books that he had picked out for himself, the silhouette of alan ritchson's iteration of jack reacher looking up at him from the cover of bad luck and trouble.

"this is great timing, actually. i finished fool me once while you were working late last night, and i've been waiting for something new to read." y/n giggled, dishes forgotten in the sink as she thumbed through the stack that she had ordered.

the worst thing she could have done for her bank acocunt was date someone who supported her book buying addiction, but some days, when there was a new military or action thriller on the shelves, jake was even worse than she was.

in fact, she seemed to remember waiting in line at barnes and noble for three hours just so that jake could get his hands on a copy of heat 2, based on the film starring, you guessed it, al pacino.

oh, yeah. that was the second misconception about jake seresin: he really liked to read. and he didn't just say that to placate his fiancée. he really did love a good book. he even went as far as to listen to audiobooks when he was at the gym, and had been known to stay up late when he was in the thick of a lee child novel, even if he did have to go to work in the morning.

jake had proposed with a collection of miss marple books and a pink string that had the ring on it. and for his birthday, she had bought him the latest jason bourne novel.

it seemed that the written word had quickly become their love language, a hobby she never thought she would ever share with her significant other. he was also known to read the occasional romance novel, and wasn't shy about making that known when they shared time together in the bedroom.

but if you told anybody on the dagger squad that he had even read one single novel, jake would skin you alive. he was almost mortified when mickey found jake's well-worn copy of the godfather in his locker, but this was before mickey had admitted that he had also read the cult classic.

and when rooster caught jake listening to the audiobook version of one of the original james bond books? they swore never to speak of it again.

when he first confessed this to y/n, she had laughed. not at him, per say, but because he shared the same book taste as her grandfather.

"i've got like, a hundred pages left in the night agent, but i might have to postpone that to a later date now that reacher has arrived." jake hummed, scratching roxy behind the ears, the small dog trying to sniff the three paperbacks that he held.

"you know what that means?"

"fuck yeah i do."

and that's how they found themselves curling up next to each other on the sectional sofa, two warm mugs on the coffee table (black coffee for jake, and a caramel/whipped cream hot chocolate for y/n.) and a plush blanket from coscto.

she snuggled into jake's side, absorbing his body heat as she fluffed the blanket around them. he kissed her on the forehead as she rested her head against his shoulder, glasses perched on the edge of her nose.

true to his word, jake abandoned the night agent on the side table, cracking open his new jack reacher.

this was something that irked y/n.

jake could read three or four books at a time, his attention span and mood reading tendencies sometimes meaning that it took him six months to get through a book that should have taken four days. there was no end to the dog eared paperbacks that jake would leave lying around.

"jake?" she hummed, halfway down the first page of her book as roxy jumped onto the couch, nestling in between their bodies.

"yeah, pretty girl?" he chuckled, breathing in the smell of her shampoo. the most treasured, comforting scent had had ever encountered.

"i love you."

"more than your book boyfriends?" he teased, poking her in the side.

she laughed heartily, kepping a tight grip on her paperback as she pressed a delicate kiss to his lips, trying to keep things chaste. if she even hinted at all that she wanted jake in her bed, neither of them would be starting a book that afternoon. "of course, jackass."

"i love you too, pretty girl. i can't wait to waste the rest of my sundays reading in bed with you."

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @lorarri @cartierre @twinkodium @thatsdemko @sidcrosbyspuck

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

I genuinely don’t understand undecided voters in this election. I can understand the hardcore Trumpers being too far up his ass to see what’s going on, but I truly don’t understand the outsiders and neutral parties who don’t seem to understand the stakes here. I know neither of our options are good, but the lesser evil is so obvious.

Do I trust Biden? No. Do I think he’s mentally fit to be President? No. But I’d much, MUCH rather waste four years on him helplessly floundering in our political hellscape and accomplishing absolutely nothing than see someone actively and knowingly dismantling our democracy.

Did we all just forget about the January 6th insurrection? It’s only been three years since we all saw it live on TV; were we even watching the same thing?

Are we all just ignoring Project 2025, its plans for christofascist policies and the way it ties far-right Republicans to foreign meddling?

What about every single violent, hateful, incendiary, fascist thing that’s come out of Trump’s mouth in the past eight years? Were none of us listening?

At least with Biden’s incompetence, we can rely on his cabinet members to pick up the slack. We can also rely on him to NOT further saturate the Supreme Court with far-right nutjobs if another justice dies or retires. Even just getting another vaguely left-leaning or even dead-center moderate person on the Supreme Court would make his presidency worth it in my eyes. Given the current court’s mass-overturning of important human rights precedents, I’d argue the Supreme Court is far more important than the presidency right now, and the only way to change that is with a non-extremist President.

Incompetence and lack of initiative can be compensated for. You cannot, however, fix malice. You cannot fix that Trump will go out of his way to be dangerous and fuel his ego above all else no matter what the people around him say, and that many of the people around him are either spineless enablers or actively cheering him on. You can’t fix that. That is far, FAR worse and more insidious than a bumbling fool.

And don’t lecture me on Israel and Palestine. We all know every single one of those aid bills would have still passed under Trump. he's been in Israel's pocket since long before October 7th. And he would’ve said the quiet part out loud, too; we all know exactly how he feels about Middle Easterners. I don’t say this to defend Biden; I say this to iterate that there is absolutely no world in which letting Trump retake office will make things any better in regards to the genocide in Palestine. The things our congress and Joe Biden are complicit in are absolutely despicable, but destroying our own democracy to prove a point does absolutely nothing for the people of Palestine. We unfortunately can’t help them with our ballots this year, but we CAN help our fellow Americans. And many of our own people are in genuine danger if Trump wins this election.

I don’t understand how it’s even a question. For the love of god, for the love of our democracy and our most vulnerable people, VOTE BIDEN.

[kirain]

what do you think of this post about Gale? I saw it today and idk how to feel about it. h t t p s : // www. tumblr. com / galahadwilder / 741497332636467200

I couldn't disagree with it more, to be honest.

First of all, and I can't stress this enough, Mystra doesn't care about her followers. She cares about the state of the Weave and nothing more. If her followers don't worship her, if they're not useful to her, if they don't serve her purpose, they mean nothing to her. After she abandoned Gale, she had no interest in him until she realised she could use him to stop the Absolute—and she only wanted to stop the Absolute because it threatened the Weave. In general, Mystra doesn't care what people use magic for either, be it the most admirable heroics or the most depraved insanity you can imagine.

Case and point: Lorroakan. He is an arrogant wizard, far worse than Gale could ever hope to be, who uses magic for pure evil. When he beat Rolan, he undoubtedly used magic to do it. Do you think Mystra cared? Nope. You can help that nutjob achieve his goals, kill a demigod, turn him immortal, and give him free reign to abuse magic any way he wishes, but do you think Mystra cares? Nope. She doesn't. She doesn't care about people unless they benefit her. In fact, all three iterations of Mystra have a vast history of grooming, flat out 🍇, and the forced impregnation of unsuspecting mortal women. Despite being neutral good, Mystra is and has always been extremely vain, selfish, jealous, and problematic.

With that in mind, I'd like to break this post down piece by piece. Also, please be aware that when I use the word "you", I don't mean you specifically, anon. I'm more so addressing anyone who might be reading.

PS: Please no one harass this person's post. Their opinion is their own, and it's very respectful. At the end of the day, we're just talking about a video game.

Mystra didn't tell Gale not to juggle the torches. She didn't even tell him it was a torch. She let him go on believing it was a part of her missing Weave. Had she told him the truth, he would've stayed away. That's why he's so shocked in Act 3, when she finally reveals it's the Karsite Weave. He had no idea, and she likely never intended to tell him. She didn't before he went off in search of it, and she didn't the entire time he was locked away in his tower, scared and suffering. I can't for the life of me figure out why she wouldn't warn him, but I can only assume it's because she expected absolute obedience, or because she was getting bored of him and wanted him to mess up.

Whatever her reasons, she didn't tell Gale to leave the orb alone because he was "worthy" already. He clearly wasn't in her eyes, because he wanted her to see him as an equal. He wanted her to share her knowledge with him, which is perfectly fair in a healthy relationship. If you're dating a god and they treat you like a worshipper—that's all you are to them. A worshipper. A plaything. You're beneath them. You're unworthy. She told Gale to leave the orb alone because she wanted him to be complacent. She wanted to keep him in servitude. That's what she wants from all of her followers, though it's even worse when it's her lover.

In almost every story where a mortal loves a god, the mortal is either ascended into the heavens or the god gives up their divinity. And this isn't even specific to gods, but also vampires, werewolves, elves, and so on. Arwen, for example, gives up her immortality to be with Aragorn. Bella becomes a vampire to be with Edward. Hercules gives up his divinity to be with Meg. Elisa Esposito becomes aquatic to be with the creature. These are common tropes because it makes the couples equal.

Mystra contradicts herself by saying Gale was "always worthy", because her actions don't reflect it. He was a worthy distraction from her job, sure, but not worthy enough for her to treat him like an equal. So in order to prove it to her, to prove his love and devotion, he went after the one thing he knew she wanted—her missing Weave. Yes, she told him not to, and I agree he should've respected that, but this is on par with a woman telling her husband not to buy a bracelet she really, really wants because it's too expensive. If your husband worked extra hours and saved up enough to buy you that bracelet, would you divorce him?

Gale was completely unaware of the danger. He basically thought he was getting Mystra a bracelet. Had she taken the time to explain it to him, the whole catastrophe could have been avoided. He was just a hopeless romantic who wanted to surprise his girlfriend and prove he belonged at her side. The same girlfriend who very well could have made him her equal and shared her knowledge, but chose not to. Why? Because she's selfish. She didn't want an equal, she wanted a servant. We know this because, if you romance and ascend Gale, he will ascend you alongside him and give you your own domain! Mystra had the power to do this, or at least the ability to slowly ease him into it, but she refused. No matter how much he pleaded and proved his devotion to her, she refused.

Mystra did not save Gale when the orb embedded itself in his chest. He survived only because it fed on his gifts. He says as much, and so does she when you go to see her at the Temple. That's why, when we first meet him, he admits he used to be better at magic. He was once exceedingly powerful, but the orb basically knocked him down to level one. Mystra was perfectly happy to let him scramble to find items to absorb, knowing that he would inevitably run out and erupt. When we give him his third item in Act 1, the orb is becoming quenchless, and he knows his time is nigh. Mystra has nothing to do with satiating the orb until Act 2 and 3, and only because he becomes her wild card.

Gale: Mystra will consider forgiveness?

Elminster: She will consider ... what she considers to be forgiveness.

Even Elminster, her most faithful Chosen, knows her "forgiveness" isn't really forgiveness. It's an ultimatum. Do this for me and be welcomed into my hall, or die and literally go to hell. Why would Mystra make this offer? Well, because why else would Gale agree to kill himself only to end up in the Wall of the Faithless? How would that motivate him? Mystra didn't make this offer out of the kindness of her heart, she made it because she was desperate. Had the opportunity never presented itself, she would've let him die and suffer for all eternity, and possibly take hundreds of innocent people with him in the blast. She. Doesn't. Care. 🤷‍♀️

Now, one could argue Gale was asking for too much, but I'm going to have to call bullshit on that. First of all, Mystra showed him things no mortal has ever seen. It's only fair he'd want to share her world and learn as much as possible. Imagine if the Doctor from Doctor Who picked up some random people and took them on breathtaking adventures, but the audience got mad at them for wanting to see as much as they could. Amy, Clara, Rose, etc.—none of them could live a normal life after meeting him, and they wanted to learn as much about the universe as possible. But everyone loves those characters. They don't get mad. There's even several episodes where the companions call the Doctor out for not treating them as equals, and he admits he's wrong for doing that and adjusts his way of thinking.

I would argue that the only real divide between Mystra and Shar/Vlaakith is that Mystra doesn't inflict physical pain ... most of the time. That's it. Vlaakith and Shar only care about themselves and the effectiveness of their followers, but the exact same applies to Mystra. She is the Weave, and she only cares about the Weave; therefore, she only cares about herself. She had ample opportunity to help Gale or tell him the truth, but she didn't until it was convenient for her. The gods of D&D are basically the Greek Pantheon gods—a bunch of assholes toying with mortals, regardless of their alignment. The odd one is decent, but most are only out for themselves and their rule. Now, I will concur that Mystra is hardly the worst deity (in fact, she's unfortunately one of the better ones), but she's still not great and Gale is her victim.

To get a little controversial, I think the writers made a mistake. I know what they were going for, but I think they lost it along the way. At first, I was ready to stand with everyone and admit he belonged in the quintessential "overreaching wizard full of hubris" category, but upon researching the lore, getting to know Gale better, and doing several different playthroughs, I've come to vehemently disagree. First of all, before 5E (the current D&D edition), becoming a god was the ultimate goal for a lot of players, and that was perfectly acceptable, with many DMs providing celestial paths to make it possible. Moreover, many of the current gods were once human themselves, including Mystra!

Second, it's only hubris if you fail. Gale can ascend. He can succeed. Although it's not the canon outcome I would choose for him, he is right about the crown. He does his research and figures out how to reforge it. And he doesn't seek godhood to be worshipped, he seeks it to either free himself (and all mortals) from Mystra's chains, or for her to acknowledge and love him as an equal. His arrogance stems from insecurity; an insecurity Mystra herself planted and cultivated, and in the end he's not really arrogant atfter all. Does him wanting to be Mystra's equal make him selfish? Well, I suppose that depends on how you answer these questions:

Is your partner equal to you? If you don't think so, why are you leading them on? Why wouldn't you take steps to help them become your equal? Why are you holding them back instead of propping them up? If they show interest in your life, in your world, in the things you can do, why would you keep it to yourself, especially when you have the time and resources to share it?

Just some ambrosia for thought. 😉

[kunikinnie]

kunikida wants to hold hands

BSD: Love is War? 100 Followers Event Genre: fluff Word count: 2k Warnings: none, I think Synopsis: This not-a-date couldn't get any worse. a/n: gotta make Kunikida happy somewhere, right? HAHAHAH AFTER 2 YEARS!!! also tagging @requiem626k! finally did it omg (also there's an Ace Attorney ref there somewhere hope someone notices heh)

This was not a date. 

That, dear readers, was the hundredth iteration of that very phrase in Kunikida’s mind. The ceaseless reminders were necessary for him to stay grounded in reality - or so he said.

Sure, he was in an amusement park. Sure, he was walking around with you. Sure, you were wearing clothes that were far more flattering on you than your usual.

But no. This was not a date. 

Your clients were chatting away in their line for one of the rides up to the very moment they entered it.

“It’s great that they’re having fun,” you said before licking your ice cream. It would be a shame if they hired bodyguards just so that they could have a “date” only for it to bore them, you thought.

“True, but don’t let it get to your head.” Your coworker’s eyes were fixed on your cone. “We’re not here to have fun.”

“I know. It’s still such a waste, though.”

You readjusted how you sat on the concrete bench, accidentally grazing his hand in the process. When you first entered the Agency, you used to apologize immediately after any accidental physical contact. However, years of working with your then superior have made you comfortable enough to ignore it.

For him, however, it was the complete opposite: the more he got to know you, the more he’d become mental over every single touch of yours, no matter how minor. 

That one just now was the 17th of that day alone - nearly thrice the daily average. Worse is that they lasted longer and had more skin contact than the average as well. Were you doing this on purpose? Or were you just that dense?

With how fast these numbers were rising, it’s no surprise how his blood pressure was about to set a new record.

“But we have to blend in somehow, right?”

“We’re already wearing casual clothes, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but we still don’t look like the others here - you know what I mean?”

Of course he knew what you meant. Most people that would visit an amusement park on a weekday were either students who had nothing better to do or couples whose schedules only allowed for these days. Guess which demographic happened to fill up the entire area during your mission.

…so what were you suggesting he did? Move closer? Win you stuff? Hold your hand? Because if you really wanted to, he would do any of those - even all of them at once. 

“We need to stay professional,” he said without missing a beat.

“Oh, just loosen up. Come on. You look like an annoyed dad forced to chaperone his teenage daughter with how deep your forehead lines are.”

At this point, he was used to your teasing, but still… annoyed dad? Really? Kunikida furrowed his eyebrows even further. “What should I look like, then?”

You stared at him, gears almost visibly turning. Under the scrutiny of your gaze he felt like the very ice cream that was melting in your hands. “Like this, maybe?”

Before he could guess what you were about to do, he felt something fluffy but stiff hug his head. It must have been a silly headband of sorts, judging from your barely-contained laughter - what the heck was it exactly?

He took the mystery headband off and stared at it. It was a pair of bunny ears.

“I thought you didn’t want us to stick out?”

“You wouldn’t stick out if you weren’t such a killjoy,” you grumbled. “At least you’d look cute with those on.”

 C-cute?

“Anyway, they're about to go to the next ride,” you said as you picked up your things and prepared to leave. “We should get moving too and stay professional.”

Ouch. A direct arrow to the heart. “Y-yes, got it.”

—

Unfortunately, Kunikida’s professionalism dwindled even further. But no, it wasn’t because of you. Well, yes, but actually no. 

The question of acting like a couple for the sake of the mission had been tossed around in his head countless times. Each and every assignment was given utmost importance and must be completed successfully at all means necessary. Had it been anyone else, Kunikida wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

But this is you were talking about. Something as simple as holding your hand was sending him into overdrive. Sure, he could hide his feelings as best as he could the whole day if needed, but what if he screwed up somehow and ended up putting you in an awkward position? Worse, what if you caught on behind his hidden motivations and rejected him in the middle of a mission? 

That would suck. Hard.

Plus, knowing that Dazai skipped work today and recently purchased a pair of binoculars, Kunikida was intent on not slipping up. What if that bastard were to take photos and tease him - worse, you, about it?

That would suck. Even harder.

“Are you okay, Kunikida-san?”

No, no he was not. “I-It’s a bit colder today than I expected.” It couldn’t be further from the truth - if anything, he wanted to sit forever under the shade - but it was the first excuse his dazed mind could come up with.

“Really? That’s new. You always come prepared.” 

Well, he was prepared with dealing with the situation at hand (i.e. lying), but it wouldn’t be right to say he was prepared to deal with his emotions for the rest of the day. If he were, he wouldn’t have had to stick to a stupid lie like this in the first place… although the temptation to use it as a reason to hold your hand was flipping his brain inside out.

But he was Kunikida Doppo. Professional detective of the professional Armed Detective Agency. He must not ruin his image any further. “It happens to all of us-”

He was cut off by a sudden draping of gentle warmth - you had put your own jacket over his shoulders. The astonishment left him speechless, staring at you like he had violated you somehow.

“Don’t worry about me. I literally just ate ice cream - you think I feel cold?”

“But-”

“It’s fine.” You smiled so sweetly to ease him but the guilt only continued to swallow him up. “Think about it as thanks for everything you’ve done for me.”

If that’s how you want to put it, then he had no reason to refuse. But that didn’t change the truth. How shameful of him, really. What a terrible senior, let alone aspiring boyfriend he was. If he were to receive any punishment for his acts, he would accept it gladly. He’d atone for his sins and live as a renewed man.

…and it seems someone above heard his prayer.

The two of you were now standing in front of the attraction your clients just entered.

“D-do we have to go in?” He asked meekly.

“I mean, shouldn’t we? If someone wanted to hurt them, the haunted house is the perfect choice. It’s dark, pretty isolated, and they could easily pose as one of the actors.”

Yes, you were right. You were absolutely right. The haunted house is the perfect choice in more ways than one… 

And just as he promised, Kunikida accepted his fate and walked into the realm of his worst nightmares.

Stoic as he was, you still took notice of his strange behavior. Despite the dim lighting you saw his face turn pale and his grip on your small jacket tighten significantly. Only then did your other senior’s words echo in your mind.

Nothing’s better than watching a horror movie with Kunikida-kun! 

Ah. How brave of him to enter then, you thought.

But to him, it was a foolish decision. It was the most foolishly made foolish decision he made that day as his mistakes had made themselves known once more. Just the heat from the additional jacket increased his sweat production, and his clammy hands nearly tore through the fabric. Never mind that you witnessed him like this now; at this point he’s so done the only desire he had left was not to tarnish the reputation of the Agency to your clients.

Although his senses were bombarded in almost every way possible, he forced them all to focus on the two in front of him - as if there were no one else, including you - and soon, it eased him by at least 20%. Then suddenly, an unaccounted 20% decrease relieved him as well - why that was the case he wasn’t sure.

He didn’t give the last observation much thought, however. By the time his brain slowly began to function again, you and your clients finally made it out of the house. Alive.

“I see why it’s pretty famous,” you chirped. “It really was scary!” 

You didn’t even seem bothered at all. Well, as long as you and your clients had fun, then all his suffering would not go in vain-

 Wait, since when was he holding your hand? 

“Oh, someone’s calling.”

As quick as the realization came, so did you let go of his hand to swipe your phone from your pocket. The mix of embarrassment and disappointment that swelled as your lingering warmth slowly disappeared couldn’t be fully described. 

“Yes. Alright, sir. We’ll be right there.”

—

And just like that, your clients left. Quite satisfied clients, you might even say.

“What a day that was!” You said as you stretched your arms. It was a surprise how full of energy you were, considering that you two were in the park for as long as the sun was up. “Weird that they didn’t catch the fireworks, though.”

“Fireworks?” 

“Well, it’s actually for some other event in some other place. But this is where the best view is!”

You pointed at the largest attraction in the park: the ferris wheel.

“...if you’d like to join me, that is.”

The two of you knew he had plans after your mission. In fact, you were convinced that he’d have rushed to leave right after they said goodbye. But to your surprise, he gladly accepted your offer.

“Of course I would.”

Half of him was surprised he gave in. The silent cries of errands to be done were almost deafening, given how much he had to reschedule because he spent too much time getting ready that morning. But the other and embarrassingly louder half was simply overjoyed at this opportunity to fulfill a secret wish of his: to ride the ferris wheel with the person he loved most.

Perhaps it was that elation that erased whatever anxiety he’d gone through that day. For the moment he began talking with you casually from the end of the line to the moment you entered the cab, he almost forgot every single embarrassing act and thought he’d gathered.

How could he forget the joy of just talking to and being with you? 

“Kunikida-san-” 

The fireworks started bursting in the sky, lighting it up with colorful hues.  

“You’re right,” you continued. “It is cold today.”

It took a few moments before your words registered into his brain. “Ah, right. Sorry about that.”

He swiftly removed your jacket from his shoulders and gently draped them over yours. And he should have just as swiftly let go, but the way you were staring at him made it impossible to let go. The look in your beautiful eyes… the thoughts that followed were nearly just as impossible to resist.

“I’m sorry.”

You suddenly stole the words he should be saying. But why?

“I should have been more clear.”

Before he knew it, you took his hand and grasped it firmly.

“This would warm me up much better.”

Hearing you say that literally took him aback. What was the meaning of that? Why would- Wait-

Your chuckle only deepened the redness on his entire face. “I’ve been trying to stop myself the whole day, you know.” You couldn’t have been joking. With that expression, you couldn’t have been… right?

“Then-” he nearly choked.  “Then you shouldn’t have stopped yourself.”

His voice was so soft that if you hadn’t been in an enclosed space, you might not have heard it at all. Yet every word made it through. “I thought you said we had to stay professional?”

He smiled. You were right. As your cab reached the top of the wheel and the fireworks boomed as loudly as your hearts, he finally intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I suppose there can be exceptions.”

taglist: @stygianoir, @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee, @menshusband, @celestair, @bloobewy, @renaxnnas, @kunikida-simp, @fyodorisbbg

[peoniesnro]

In Another Universe

#4. F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Synopsis – When you are just another iteration of Park Jimin’s girlfriend in a different universe.

Park Jimin × Reader

Genre – parallel universe (duh)/ kind of fantasy/ strangers to ??/ SMUT/ maybe romance/ angst/ fluff /Infidelity

Warnings – Language/ SMUT-Breast play/ nipple play/ grinding/nipple orgasms(with grinding)/ INFIDELITY

Word count – 12k (😑)

a/n- Okay I'm a liar. So much for trying to keep the word count under 10k. Sorry for lying. But I love this chapter. Hope you'll love it too. Oh, and the taglists are open. And you can send asks if you want to. I'm curious to know what y'all thinking. Thank you for reading. ♥️

Taglist?

Chapter index

Previous - Next

...................................................................................................

Jimin avoids you. Like you are the plague.

You are so pissed. Like the momma bear he said you were.

You have no memory of how your night at the club ended. Only that you woke up on your bed the next day. With a throbbing head. And a killer hangover. Another week has passed since that day. Your life went from misery to anguish. To an unbearable pain. You are still struggling with your sleeping patterns, your lectures and job. You are running out of your poor excuses. Key is always on your throat. This switching between two worlds still happens, with no answers or solutions. But nothing makes you madder than Park Jimin.

It’s humiliating to be honest. That he avoids you. You don’t know what’s worse. Whether it’s that he always managed to disappear before you wake up or it’s that you’re worried about that, after everything. He advanced toward you first. He touched you first. He kissed you first. You know why he does what he does. That, however, doesn’t make it a good reason. You can’t find it in you to be unconcerned. You are very concerned. He is a fucking coward.

Fuck him!

You scream loudly. Knowing well that no one is inside this damn apartment. Kick the comforter away. It has only been you for four days now. This is the fifth day you are waking up in this fancy apartment alone. Oh, how you wish you could have the controller of this game. How great it would be if you could start avoiding him too. Why would you care this much? It’s frustrating.

It has taken every ounce of your strength not to destroy something to show your anger. To take a lipstick and write down ‘You fucking asshole! Go to hell!’, in his bathroom mirror. Or to write down a letter using all the vengeful, insulting words you know. Thank God that you have some dignity left in you that you did nothing of the sort. Thank God you managed to come and go without leaving a trace of your existence.

You sigh heavily, watching your reflection in the bathroom mirror. There’s dark circles under your eyes. Your skin looks dry. Drier than the Sahara. Simply put, you look like shit. You’ll have to find a way to make this work if this isn’t going to stop. If you can’t find answers, you need to find a way to stay alive. You still don’t know if Jimin has talked with Liya. If he did what she said. Where she is all these times you spend here. Because certainly there was no sign of her being at your apartment. Yours and Jimin’s assumption was that she might be waking up somewhere that isn’t your apartment. Jimin wasn’t very convinced. Said she would be freaking out the next day if something like that happened.

Oh, how you want to scream at him. This isn’t going anywhere this way. He was adamant of trying to find a way to stop this quickly a few weeks ago. And now he acts like this isn’t a problem at all. What can you do after all? You are in a fancy ass apartment with no communication for fucks sake. Your phone doesn’t work here. Isn’t compatible with wi-fi. You still don’t know if you could try using a SIM card. It’s not like you can go out and find out with no money in your hand. And it’s getting damn cold outside.

You have poked your head inside couple of rooms. Found some electronic devices which were either dead or ancient. Found a laptop protected with password and you didn’t try to unlock it. In the end, while you are in this world, you are isolated from the rest of the human race. No internet. No communication. No Jimin. No way of entertaining yourself for the few hours you spend here.

It’s all his fault. Despite all the frustrating fascinations you found with him, you managed to bottle them up and act normal. He destroyed it all. Ruined. And then he has the nerve to avoid you like it’s all on you.

You rinse your mouth off. Splash your face with water. Aggressively. Why the fucking hell do you want Jimin to be here. He is annoying anyway. Why are you angry that he ruined your ‘perfect stranger’s’ relationship. Angry that he avoids you. Why do you fucking care? You for yourself have no idea why you are mad. Or at what you are mad. You are a complete mess. It’s just you are mad you can kill a man with a crochet hook.

You pat your face with a dry towel. It’s more slapping than patting. Throw the towel away. Leave the bathroom to head toward kitchen when there’s a sharp pang in your lower stomach, making you stop in the track. Anger dissipates. Replaces with the pain. You close your eyes shut. It comes again. Subsidies. Comes again. Nothing unfamiliar to you. You know what it means when there’s random pains in your body.

You have a messed-up period cycle. You always keep pads and tampons with you. Knew that your monthly pal is near for a probable two days now. There has been slight pains in your pelvic region. Today it’s intense, which means your friend has finally arrived. Fuck your life. There is your reason to hate the whole world. No, to hate every single world that exists in every fucking universe. You don’t want to deal with cramps right now. Don’t want to have your period while you’re at someone else’s house. It always sucks. Especially, when you have no pads or any kind or period products with you.

Fuck! You have no pads. You straighten up. Eyes wide. What are you going to do? Use tissues? Maybe you can find Liya’s. You turn around again. Rush to the main bathroom. Start rummaging through bathroom cabinet drawers. One by one. And of course there is none. No pads or tampons. Only things you find are damn period cups. There are couple but you’re not sure which are used ones.

You stand in the middle of the bathroom. Have no idea what you are going to do now. And the pain is slowly becoming unbearable. Of course it is. You have bad cramps. You live your life on pain killers during your periods. You need to get something for your pain before it becomes severe. Before you become a crying mess. You do the best you can. With tissues. That’s not going to last at all, but you can find something for the pain. Fall asleep as fast as possible. You search through bathroom cabinet drawers again. Through the drawers in the room. In kitchen. Of fucking course, you can’t find anything, again. What are these people? Androids? How could they not have painkillers in their home? How come Liya doesn’t have pads for emergency situations? You found some pills. Yes. But you have no idea what those for are. Not going to risk your life here.

You crouch down next to the fridge. Pain is intense now. You can’t even stand on your own feet. It’s like your uterus is about to fall. You need to think. About a way to solve this problem. Is hard when your mind is clouded with pain. You are scared to sit down on a chair. What if you stain it? It’ll be so embarrassing.

Deep breaths in. Deep breaths out.

You take deep breaths. There is no way you could fall asleep with this kind of pain. You need pads or anything to help with the blood bath happening between your thighs. You need painkillers. And you have no money and you’re not going to steal money from this house. You are in too much pain to do something like that. There’s only one person you can ask for help. Not that you want to talk to him. He avoids you. Don’t want to appear desperate. Still, the pain is too intense.

There is no communication. You hate that some people decided to rely on smartphones completely. Hate that Jimin and Liya are apparently those kinds of people. Have no landline in their house. You can’t simply bother with trying to unlock locked devices. Your brain isn’t functioning properly at all when you yank the main door open. Reach the only other apartment on this floor. Knock at their door. It opens fast for your relief, revealing a young woman probably on her 30s. She gapes at you. More than surprised.

“Uh…I… I’m really sorry but can I make a phone call?” How stupid this whole ordeal is. What are you doing in front of a stranger’s door and asking for a fucking phone. Should’ve died in your pain. Middle of a blood pool, than this. What were you thinking? The woman raises her eyebrows with her eyes wide. “Well, yeah, but are you okay Liya? You look pale? Why are you here to make a phone call? Where’s Jimin?” There are so many questions leaving her mouth but the only one that registered on your brain is ‘are you okay Liya’.

Shit, you forgot that you look like Liya. Now this might look even more ridiculous in this woman’s eye. You don’t even know her name. You are supposed to be Liya and this woman, in that case, is your neighbor. You try to smile. “I’m… fine. I just uh... broke my phone and…” You don’t know what you should say. “I’m not okay actually.” That feel better than trying to find excuses. “I just need to call Jimin, and I don’t remember his number. Phone’s broken and I… can you please?” You blurt that out. Whatever happens next, you’ll deal with it later. Blood will start running down your legs at this rate.

She stares at you for a minute. And then nods and holds the door for you. Invites you inside and gives you her phone. Thank fuck, she has his number saved. You thank her over and over before dialing his number. Listen to the ringback tone. You absolutely don’t want to do this. Don’t want to talk to Jimin. Ugh, it’s better if you could call Lee Seung than Jimin. The woman walks away to give you privacy. You watch her retrieve into a room while biting onto your thumb nail. You are just about to bite your whole finger away when the phone is answered.

“Mrs. Lee?” Jimin’s voice reaches your ear through the phone. There’s concern laced in his voice. He needs to say hello first. You take a deep breath before speaking. Feel like you have telephobia.

“Uh hello! Jimin, it’s me...” You don’t know if he can recognize you. He will think you are Liya. “Spring Roll?” Oh no he doesn’t think you are Liya. Funny how he went from not recognizing your very obvious differences to recognizing your voice apart from Liya. Or he just knows it’s your day to be here.

“Hey? Are you okay Lil? What’s happening? Why are you like… Why are you at Lee’s?” He asks again when you don’t answer. You didn’t realize you hadn’t answered. You scrunch your eyes shut and grit your teeth to endure a sharp cramp. “No. I mean I’m fine but… Jimin… I need... uh…” It feels embarrassing. “Lil? What is it?” You can hear him shuffle around. Makes you wonder if he is already leaving. Like an obsessed lover in a stupid love story.

“I need um…”

“Yes?”

“I need pads. I need pain killers.” You finally get that out.

It’s fine. It’s fine.

“Sorry but I have no money and there’s no way to contact anyone and it hurts and-” You start again. Feel the need to explain your situation when he disrupts your rambling.

“Okay.” A silence. “Hey Lil? It’s okay.” Another silence. He is probably waiting for you to respond. You don’t. So, he speaks again. “I’ll come. Go home now.” With that he hangs up.

Home?

…………………………………………………………………………………

You blink at the stupid door. You had closed it behind you when you left the apartment. And now it’s locked. You don’t know the password. A quiet groan escapes your mouth as you slightly bang your forehead on the door. Why does your life always go from bad to worse? It’s not like you can just go back and knock on Lee’s door. No, you can’t do that. It’s better to stay here, waiting for Jimin to come. So, you do that. Crouch down again because it hurts bad. Lean your back against the door. Wait... When you are not in pain and can form coherent thoughts, you’ll slap yourself and then later kill Jimin- even though he is the one helping you.

…………………………………………………………………………………

It probably took more than thirty fucking minutes for him to come. Tears are rolling down your cheeks, and you are at verge of passing out, when you finally hear the elevator ding. Tissues are failing you and you are about to cry all over again for the embarrassment when your head snaps towards the sound of footsteps. Eyes landing on Jimin. On a black suit again. Like the last time you saw him. He has a grocery bag in his hands. He stops. Eyes on you. Takes a shaky breath in and approaches you like wind. Crouches down beside you.

“Fuck. What are you doing here? Are you okay?” He slightly touches your face. You shake your head. “No. It hurts. Bad.” You can’t be embarrassed now.

“Fuck I’m sorry it took some time to come Lil. But why are you here? Outside?” His eyes are wide. Mouth a little agape. Adorable. You clutch your stomach tightly. “I... ha...ve no password. I... don’t kn... know it.” You manage through gritted teeth. Jimin sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. Lamenting. Looks like he wants to slap himself.

“Shit. Shit, I’m sorry Lil. I forgot, like…”

You interrupt his pointless apologizing with a painful whine. You’re not his responsibility after all. It’s not like he should be here. Jimin gapes at you, mouth open, for a split second. Nods his head in realization. Surprises you when he suddenly grabs you from your upper arm. Makes sense when he reaches for the lock and enters the password. He holds you steady, so you won’t fall. He holds you steady, so you won’t get into your feet on your own. Stops you when you try to. Surprises you again when he cradles you. You yelps first in surprise and then in mortification.

“No, Jimin. There’s probably …” You don’t get to complete that sentence. Not as he enters the house. Kicks the door shut behind you.

“Fuck it.”

…………………………………………………………………………………

“You fine now?” Jimin softly asks you as he stares at your huddled figure, laying on your side. He stands next to the bed. You feel fairly fine now compared to earlier. Not completely, though. Pain isn’t going to subside just after you swallow some pills. You nod anyway. You are now perfectly curled up in his guest bed. All clean and tummy full. In his clothes since you said you shouldn’t wear Liya’s clothes all the time without her permission. Ready to sleep with your phone and your clothes pressed to your chest. You learned from your mistakes and evolved through the time you’ve been here. That’s how you learned to dress properly to bed. Even with a bra, despite how much you hate to wear it. From now on, you’ll make sure you carry a care package to bed with you. With every essential in there.

“You sure?” Jimin asks again, slightly bending down toward you. You crack an eye open to look at him. He is still in his dress shirt. Looks worried. It was ridiculous how you had to assure him again and again that you will not die and are fully capable of showering alone. He is a funny thing. Jimin is. Paradoxical. Complicated. You find him hard to read. “I’m fine Jimin. It hurts but I’ll be okay. This shit happens every month.” You state matter-of-factly. Jimin snorts. Sits on the edge of the bed. “You sure? Cause you sure did act like it was your first time.” There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. He has been avoiding you for nearly a week and now acts like nothing happened. Pisses you off. You take a breath in to calm yourself down.

“Well, I always take something for my pain and it’s not like I always ended up in some stranger’s house…You know? With no pads and...” Your words trail off as you watch Jimin grins now. He is teasing you. Asshole. “Oh, fuck you Jimin. It was an emergency. Sorry I bothered you.” You grumble, trying to hide your face in the pillow. “Hey, no Lil, I was just joking and uh... anyway you didn’t bother me. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes. I’m glad you did. If it hurts then it hurts.” He places his hand on your arm. Makes you shudder. His voice is serious now.

You sneak a peek at him again. He and you need to talk. Talk about what happened last time he was close to you. You need to convince him too. Convince that you were drunk and forget it ever happened. This moment, however, doesn’t feel like the right time. You’re still in pain and it’s always easy to procrastinate. It’s okay to let it slide for this one last time. You and Jimin were on good terms before the club night happened. With playful banters and insults that didn’t actually hurt you both. You were kind of friends. Right? Perfect strangers? There’s no reason to be hostile or distance when he is the only person you know in this world. You can sweep it under the rug until you take it out again. So, you nod. Mutter a soft thank you.

“I wouldn’t have call you anyway if I had you know… I just… Fuck.” You don’t know what you should say.

Jimin smiles. His cheeks puffs out like soft, round loaves of bread. You madly want to squeeze them.

Nope. You don’t.

“It’s okay Lil. It was an emergency, like you said. I know you wouldn’t have reached me if it wasn’t. But are you gonna be okay alone? Like do you want me to stay?” He asks, through his grin. Adorable but is so dramatic. You roll your eyes.

“It’s just periods Jimin. I know I was crying but believe me I will not die, I promise.”

“You promise?”

“Yes. I promise. Happy? You can go to work now Mr. CEO. You have a business...” You wince. Grit your teeth. Blow a breath out. “…to run, don’t you?” Complete your sentence finally. Random cursed cramps. Jimin gives you a skeptical glance. Doesn’t say anything when he stands up. You watch him curiously when he rounds the bed and climbs up next to you. This is not good. This, definitely, isn’t good. What is he doing?

“Okay…? What are you doing?” You mumble with wide eyes. “Nothing. Just going to make sure you won’t actually die.” He says as laying back. Eyes on the celling. You turn to your back too. “Seriously Jimin? This is ridiculous. You can go. Besides, isn’t this weird for you to lay here with me?” Look at him with your head turned to his face. “I wake up next to you every other day spring roll. And most of the time, you cling to me like a koala.” He says that very nonchalantly when you choke on your own spit. Do you? You gape at him. Do you really do that? Jimin’s bread cheeks are appearing again, however. He is trying so bad not to break into a laugh. You groan annoyingly. “You little stupid….” Mumble every curse word you know as you turn your side again. Your back to him. Jimin giggles. Why does he have to be adorable all the time? Why do you have to think he is adorable all the time? And hot. And...

This time you are grateful for the sudden pain that make you reel. It distracts you from Jimin. Even though it makes you whimper quietly and squeeze your tummy. Grit your teeth hard and leave you exhausted when it subsides. You take a deep breath after the pain become bearable. Feel Jimin shifts behind you. Maybe he turns to his side too. There’s a beat of silence before his voice reaches you again.

“Are you really okay Lil? Does it hurt a bad?” His voice is too soft for your liking. Makes your heart picks up the speed of pumping blood.

Bad.

You just nod to indicate you are indeed fine when another cramp hits you. He shifts again. Closer to you this time. You are certain. Can feel his warmth on your back now. Makes you tingle all over. This is really bad. And it’s worsen when he speaks again.

“Want me to help you? Do something to soothe the pain?” Jimin whispers. Makes goosebumps appear on your skin. Makes the hair in the nape of your neck stand. You shot your eyes open, staring into dark blue curtains of the room. Heart now beating violently. What does he mean?

“Help me how?” Your body has started to react exactly like that time in the club. Funny, since he isn’t touching you this time. You don’t even know what he is insinuating at. He might well be saying that he would tell you a bedtime story and you are already panting. “I... uh...don’t know. Like rub your tummy like. Fuck I don’t know Lil. Anything to help you.” His voice is still a whisper, and you shudder. Again. Oh, he indefinitely is not going to tell you bedtime stories. Why would he suggest this at all?

The air in the room suddenly feels heavy. You two are going to fuck things up for a second time if you don’t say the right thing.

All you need to say is, ‘are you crazy? I don’t want you touching me, Park Jimin. That’s so wrong. Go to hell’. Then why are you nodding.

This is a disaster.

You stiffen when you feel him scoot closer. Not quite in contact with your body but you are sure just a light movement from you, would make your back plastered into his chest. Can feel his breath on your neck. Like the last time. Makes your head spin. Like the last time. Mouth dry and heart about to leap away. Like the last time. And you are poised. Anticipation firing inside you. Excitement bubbling. Not even trying to soothe your dry throat. As if one single moment from you will make him disappear. “Want me to Lil?” He asks again. Fuck its addicting how his breath fanning your neck when he speaks. You nod again, weakly. “Words Lil. Say you want me to.” Jimin doesn’t even move a finger. Just stays close to you. This surely doesn’t feel like trying to soothe your pain. Instead, feel like you are doing something immoral. Well, it is immoral. You need to use your words and say you don’t want his help. Shouldn’t let this carry away like the last time.

“Yes. Help me Jimin.” You mutter breathlessly. To hell with it. You don’t know what you are doing. “Soothe the pain you know. It’s okay since you are trying to help.” Add that part just for the sake of your sanity. To justify the situation. To make it fair and mitigate. You expect Jimin to laugh at that. Snort. Asks you to stop being a bitch and then trying to justify your bitchy actions. If you are bad, then you are bad. He doesn’t. He doesn’t do any of those things. Surprisingly, agrees with you. “Yes, I’m just trying to help.” You are certain he says it to himself more than to you. You nod in agreement anyway. Wait until he do something. Patiently. Holding your breath. Let that breath out with a shiver when he finally snakes his hand over your waist. Palm flat and places on your tummy. Over your (his) hoodie. “Like this?” Asks again and start to rub gentle circles all over your stomach. You don’t trust your voice. Are afraid you’ll moan. All you can do is nod.

Fortunate how he doesn’t ask you to use your word. You think this situation is embarrassing. How you are near moaning when he is just rubbing your stomach. There’s nothing more but you are becoming pliant. Turning into a mush under his touch. That’s exactly how it was the last time. You’re pathetic aren’t you?

You visibly shudder when his breath hits your sensitive skin every time. It feels good. You won’t lie. Even when you can’t feel his touch properly, it feels damn good. Enough to make you sigh in relief. “Am I doing it right?” Jimin whispers in your ear. A weak yes escapes your mouth. “Does it help? Do you want more?” He scoots closer to you more. Finally press his chest into your back.

Oh God!

You don’t know what you should say. In a world where you are a completely sane person, you would say yes that helps and you don’t want anything more. This world, however, is a world where you are completely insane. So, you say no, for the first question. So, you say yes, for the latter one. Jimin sighs heavily. Almost like he is beyond relieved with your answers. As if he waited for you to say them.

“Okay. I’ll push your hoodie up. Huh? Just want to soothe the pain. That way will be better.” He waits again until you say yes. Give him the green light to proceed. The thing is, he needs to stop asking because you won’t say no. You feel like you are high. Your brain is malfunctioning. Bite your bottom lip until the blood draws when he does push the hoodie up, after another one of your weak yes’. Touches your bare tummy. Directly touches your skin for the first time. Without any barriers and you are certain he feels how you tremble.

It's just fingers first. Drawing mindless, yet burning patterns on your hot skin. And then he is pressing those fingers on your skin. Then painfully slowly his entire palm. Touches you properly. Massages your soft muscles. His hand is all over your tummy.

“This good?” Asks again. Makes you annoyed.

“Yes. Please.” Fuck why did you say please. What are you begging for. You’re really glad he doesn’t ask. Just keeps caressing you. Rubbing. Massaging. Touches turning tender every time. Comes even more closer to you. Hides his face in your hair. You weakly whimper when you feel him inhaling. A feathery kiss following. He brings you Impossibly closer to him.

“Lil...” Breathes in your ear.

“Hm?”

“Fuck. Just?”

“What?” Your voice is barely audible.

“Can I? Please?” His voice is no different. Husky. Breathy. And feels like liquid honey to your ears.

You know what he is asking for. You shouldn’t but you do. This is the only chance for you to do the right thing. At least pretend dumb and stop him.

“Yes. Jimin….yes.” How desperate you sound. The only relief is the shudder you feel on Jimin’s body. “Thanks fuck.” Says as his hand starts wandering upwards. Up, up and up. You give up trying to keep your mouth shut. Allow yourself to softly moan when his hand reaches your ribcage. Touches you there properly. Fingers graze the underside of your boobs. But doesn’t go any further. Stops there. Drives you crazy.

No, you shouldn’t ask for it. Shouldn’t beg.

“Fuck Jimin. Please.”

Jimin hides his face in your neck. His grip on you tighten. “Please what?” Loves to make you little more miserable than you are. It seems. “Please what Lil? What do you want?” Asks again in your ear. You want to go back to your bickering selves and curse the shit out of him. Impossible when he gives you feathery touches under your left boob. So, you give up.

“Touch me. Please fuck touch me.” Ask for what you want like a good girl. Jimin curses. “Touch you where? I am touching you.” Says as he squeezes you tightly. You whimper again. This time in complaint. He doesn’t do anything though. Waits patiently for your answer. Well, fuck it!

“Tits. My tits Jimin. Please touch them.” You don’t say those words, you moan them. Jimin kisses your ear at that. “Fuck Lil.” Mumbles in your ear and then his hand goes to where you want it to be. Grabs your left boob in his palm. Grips it hard. Molds. Sighs heavily.

“Fuck you are not wearing a bra again?” Traces his thumb over your hardened nipple. Takes it between his thumb and forefinger, pinch it. Makes you twitch. Do it again and again. “I… J... Jimin. I…” Your voice is trembling. “It’s hot.” Jimin says mindlessly. Shifts the attention between your two breasts. Molds them so good that you are moaning without you realizing. Makes Jimin press himself firmly against you.

It feels so sudden. Like the time in club. Why do you do this? He and you? Why neither of you can think properly? You are not drunk now. Very sober and still do this.

It's very wrong. Immoral. Unfaithful. Yet, it’s happening. And it is so fucking good. You’ve been starving for touch, and you are incapable of refusing one when you finally receive it. Especially, when those touches belongs to someone like Park Jimin. You’ll think about the reasons later. For now, you’ll just give up. Let him play. Touch you right. Allow him more access to do it more. That’s why you slowly start to roll onto your back. To let him touch you more. He helps you. Shits in his place and snakes his hand under your neck. Curls that hand so you become impossibly close to him. Keeps groping your soft mounds. Like he can’t stop doing so.

You look at him for the first time after you started this. Are so happy to see him flushed. Similar to you. Eyes hooded and pupils dilated. Mesmerizing. Comes closer to your face. Breath fanning your lips now. For split second you think he’ll kiss you. Disappointingly, he doesn't. Murmurs against your mouth instead.

“They are so soft. Your tits. Fucking soft. Wanna touch them all the time.” His lips slightly brush against yours when he mumbles. You moan shamelessly. You were turned on in an inhuman way from the beginning. Now though, you think you’ll die. You smell him in. Want to tell him he can just do that. Feel like you are travelling through the clouds. Words fail you. Only breathless whimpers and monas leave your dry mouth.

“Will you show me, Lil?” Asks again since all you do is gaping. It’s already too late turn around now. You rub your thighs together. Clench around nothing. “Please? Just want to see.” Squeezes your left tit so hard that a cry rip through your throat. Back arching. You nod desperately. “Yes. Yes. Yes, you can.” Close your eyes to drown in the head spinning feeling. Only for a moment though. Open them slowly again when you feel Jimin shifts your hoodie up. Revealing your bare skin to him. You are not surprised anymore. Just painfully horny. The way his breathing staggered, makes the sensation double. He pushes the hoodie all the way up. Toward your neck. Gets your tits bare in front of his eyes.

“Shit. Fuck Lil.” Curses some more. Molds your tits some more. Props himself a little bit. You reluctantly raise your head to let his hand go. Leans over you. Grabs your tits with his both hands. Start groping and molding. Sanity is slipping through his fingers as you watch. You and him both are insane now. You keep leaning into his touches. Harsh and pleasurable ministrations. Moan his name.

“Shit you are gorgeous.”

“You have seen them Jimin.”

“This is different. Fuck. I wanna suck them.” He peeks at you through his lashes. The desperation in his face together with his words are enough to make you cum in your pants. You want to say yes but words aren’t coming out. Especially, when he presses a tender kiss to one of your nipples. Pulls back to look at your face. Then kisses the other one. Doesn’t pull back this time, just stays in his place and inhales. Smells you. “Fuck!” Curses. You want to say yes.

He doesn’t wait for your answer anyway. And you are glad. “Want them in my mouth Lil. Gonna suck them, okay? Gonna… fuck.” He gives up entirely. Gives up on talking. Explaining. Dives right into your tits. Takes one hardened bud in his mouth. And you find words. “Holy fuck Jimin... Oh god...” You nearly cry. Hands reaching his head. Fingers lacing through his blonde locks. You have sensitive nipples but this? His mouth does wonders apparently. His hot tongue swirls around your nipple. Sucks on them. Moans. Sucks your life out of you. Keeps groping the other one. Then takes the other nipple in mouth while squeezing the now free one. Kisses and sucks every inch of skin he can find on your tits. Lightly bites. Leaves your tits wet with his saliva. You like the feeling. Even love it when he starts sucking on your skin harder. Surely giving you marks.

“Fuck, you are so sensitive. Think you can cum like this?” Jimin asks so suddenly that you are beginning to be surprised again. It’s so out of blue. “What?” You ask through your whimpers. “Cum Lil. Can you cum while I suck on your tits?” Asks again. Doesn’t wait for your answer and goes back to his work. Well, you don’t think you’ll completely be able to do that. Without a single pressure on your clit or nothing close to your quivering hole. “I’m not… su…sure. Like I need... Jimin.” You tug from his hair. He moans. You don’t think he understand what you are trying to say. See, now Jimin will never cease to amaze you. Can read minds. Doesn’t say anything but completely hovers over you. Places one knee between your thighs. Presses. You shudder. Reel. Moan. Watch the way Jimin peeks at you again. One of your tits still in his mouth. Moaning against your nipple. Pops it out. Kisses your wet nipple and bites it lightly. Licks it.

“C’mon, go on. Rub your pussy on my knee.” Says against your tit before starting to suck on it again.

And of course you do. How are you to refuse such a demanding plea. Press his face more into your chest and start grinding your cunt on his knee. Desperate. Hard. Fast. And he keeps sucking your tits. Soaking them. Encourages you with grunts and groans. Vibrations he cause travel through your body like liquid fire. To your core and makes that knot in your tummy tighten. Tighten with every press of your cunt on his knee. Even though it’s through layers of clothing. With his every suck on your tit. And right at a moment when he bites little harsh on your right nipple that knot explodes. Making you cry for him. Your grip on his hair tighten. Nearly rip his hair off when he finally pops your nipple from his mouth. Stares into your flushed face. Smirks. Peppers some light kisses to your abused tits. Makes you flush with embarrassment.

You both take a moment. Jimin is still grabbing and holding your breasts. You are staring into the ceiling. Both of you taking deep breaths. Trying to calm down from your high. Jimin retrieves his hands from your breasts slowly. The stupor you were in breaking down. Shattering into little pieces, so you could see properly. Think properly again. And the very moment, unclouded thoughts occur in your mind, you sit back abruptly. Making Jimin do the same. Both of you inhaling a shaky yet deep breath. Just like that, you two fucked up again. It doesn’t make sense how you lose control. How he loses control.

You want to ask him why? See, now it was only you who reached a high and he didn’t. Does he want the same? Are you willing to give him that? If he doesn’t want that, why did he do that for you? Is this the same kind of situation where he was confused? No, he kept calling you Lil. Not Liya.

You stare at his face. His face is flushed still but calming down. Eyes starting to flash something else which is not desire. Regret perhaps. You want to ask million things.

“Don’t fucking run away Jimin.” That’s the only thing that leaves your mouth. He shakes his head at that. Blows a breath out.

“I won’t. Just sleep. We will talk.” He says. There’s no warmth or softness in his voice anymore. His voice isn’t husky or breathy. Just like the last time, he is very serious now. Only that he isn’t stuttering. Nor does he run away like you burn him. Still, he and you are both back on earth now. He stares at you for another hard minute. Then he climbs down from the bed.

“We will talk Lil. I promise.” Says before running away. Again.

You fucked up. Again.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“Okay for real young lady, I don’t buy anything you say.” Key screeches in your ear as you try to wipe the tables down. End your shift and go home. Key isn’t supposed to be here, and she’s annoying you so much. “Well, I don’t know what I should say to you then my dear best friend. Move out of the way please. I have works to do.” You nudge her out of your way with your hip. She scoffs. “You should tell me the truth bitch. What’s happening in your life? How come you miss so many lectures and where the hell are you going all that time?” She keeps trailing after you. From one table to another.

“Do you have a secret boyfriend or something? So, you fuck around with him and miss your lectures? Are You fucking crazy? Who’s going to pay for you to repeat the subjects….” Her nagging is becoming unbearable, and you are glad Chan interrupts you. “You gonna fail your subjects?” He asks with a look that’s torn between pissed and incredulous on his face. You take back the glad part. You groan. Throw the cleaning cloth on your hand onto the table. “No one boss. No one’s failing their classes. My best friend is just fucking dramatic.” You point your finger at her.

She gasps. See, dramatic. “Don’t talk to me like that you little brat. I’m worrying my life away here for you.” Turns to Chan. “She’s been going MIA for some time now. Doesn’t attend lectures. I can’t reach her. And she sometimes doesn’t come to work too. Doesn’t she Chan?” Starts nagging to him instead of you. Fine by you to be honest. This is the first time in a while you are here at your workplace at the same time with Chan and Key. You guess Chan hasn’t confessed his feelings for Key yet. She would tell you if he did. Surprisingly, you don’t feel much bitter about it now.

You found out that you can talk to Chan normally a few days ago. Without any hard feelings and not wanting to cry nor slap him. And now you are finding out that you can stay in the same room with both of them. It hasn’t been that long since your rejection. Just nearly a month but probably the things happening in your life makes the rest of your life problems insignificant.

“It’s only been couple of days. So, it’s just fine.” Chan answers Key’s question with a shrug. Doesn’t sit properly with Key apparently. “Oh, c’mon… How that’s not fucking concerning Chan. It’s very irresponsible of an employee to be unattended without prior-”

“Fuck Key. Are you my friend or enemy?” You interrupt her while sneaking a glance at Chan. He is unbothered. There’s a grin on his face. As if Key said the most adorable thing right now. Well, if that’s how he always looked at her, then you might have been blind. “That’s fine Key. She is just not an employee. We are kind of friends so, as long as you don’t disappear for like weeks and months that’s fine with me.” He says finally, looking between you and Key. Key sighs while you nod in assent.

“Well, that makes this situation even more concerning. As a friend of her you need be worried as I am. What if she planning to sell her kidney.” Key doesn’t want to accept defeat. She has been constantly nagging you lately. Nothing you say is believable anymore. You have said you are sick so many times that Yoon-hee, your favorite professor, told you that you can ask her help if your illness is terminal. They might think you’re dying at this rate. It’s reasonable and very fair that Key is worried. You would be too. Can’t tell her the real reason though.

“I’m just fine Key. Please stop worrying. And my kidneys are safe.” You pat your lower back before reaching for the cleaning cloth again. Look back at her. “I promise. If I really am in a problem, I will tell you. You know that already.” Say as you start to wipe down the tables. Miss the glance Key and Chan share.

“You will?” Key asks, finally accepting the defeat.

“I will.” You nod without looking at them.

“I meant it when I said we are friends, you know. You can ask for help if you want, my very hard-working employee.” Chan adds when he isn’t a part of this at all. You and he are not that close friends. You were once infatuated with him, but not anymore. Still, you nod. Say you know.

It’s better you figure things out soon before you fuck up things in this world as well. Now, after you officially ruined things in Jimin’s world, you want this switching to end as soon as possible. You’ll find a way. Yes. You will.

…………………………………………………………………………………

This is the most unproductive Jimin has been in his entire life. He was far better than this when he was a college fuck boy and didn’t give a damn about passing his subjects. Even then he did a better job than staring at his computer screen. Black. It has been exactly fifteen minutes since he sat here in his study. He has work to do, but can’t concentrate. His mind is everywhere. No, that’s a big lie. His mind isn’t everywhere but at two people. Two people who look exactly same but not at the same time.

Why did he allow that to happen. Not once, but twice. Did he really think you were Liya? No. He didn’t. Jimin found a simple answer for his questions after loads of thinking. He really is a fucking asshole. Just like you said. He knew what he was doing but still did. Knew it was wrong but threw morality out the window the moment he felt you. And he fucked up.

The day at the club, when he returned to your booth to find you and that jerk named Jungkook were gone. Gone for a fucking dance. Jimin had felt his guts twist with an unfamiliar rage. He wasn’t or isn’t the jealousy type. Besides, you weren’t his girlfriend or anyone else that mattered to him. Still, he found his legs working on their own as he drifted to the dance floor. Saw you with him. Smiling. Laughing. Felt the same pang he felt when he saw you with Taehyung that day earlier. Saw he turns you around. Touches you. And he wasn’t thinking at all when he started storming toward you. He had a good excuse in his mind. You were supposed to be Liya. Liya will never do that. And only she knows why. It didn’t matter though. What mattered only was that you were breaking the character, and he needed to cover it. Before you ruin everything.

Funny, how he was the one who ruined things afterwards. It was pure bliss when he felt your body against him. Simply, the moment he felt you he started to think with his dick. It’s simple as that. That’s what happened at both times. He did his best to stay away from you after the club. Doesn’t know why he felt that it was the best decision. That it would solve the problem. He, after all, kind of knew he would fuck up again, if he was to be with you. Just like he thought, he did. Fucked up. And what he did was cheating.

Jimin cringes visibly at his own thoughts. He left that life behind, didn’t he? When he met Liya. When he started his business. He left his playful life behind. He is not Taehyung; he stopped jumping into fire pits just because it’s fun. Those stupid decisions people make just because they feel good at the moment, always come back to bite in their asses. Exactly like now. Like Jimin is drowning in misery full of guilt and regret. Guilty toward Liya. Regret toward you. Because even if it’s for a little while Jimin knows you. Even if you and he may not have a proper tag on your relationship. It was fine. The relationship you had. It was fine. More than fine actually and he ruined it.

His miserable thoughts got startle out of him, making him jump on his seat when the door of the study room suddenly slammed open. He snaps his head to the door at the same time Liya barges in. That’s not very like her. She knows how to knock after all. And she looks wearied off. Jimin watches curiously as his girlfriend takes a seat. Slams her bag on the desk. Makes Jimin flinch.

“What’s going on?” He asks carefully.

“I missed my meeting with Owen Scott. With the ‘Owen Scott’. Yesterday. Because I slept through it and the deal ruined Jimin. Can you believe that? I lost this one chance to partner with Scott. My dad is going to kill me.” Liya vents. Jimin feels like she slaps him. She missed that meeting while, he was fondling with your breasts happily. Has to bite his tongue so he won’t say something stupid. Oh, the guilt starts to tear his conscience away.

“Oh! I mean, that’s bad but reach to him again….?” He says after carefully deciding that’s the best reply. Liya gives him an incredulous look. “Don’t talk like you don’t know business Jimin. If you missed, you missed. There’s no going back.” She slumps her shoulders. Then puts her hand on the desk. Let her head falls down between her hands.

“Who said that to you?” Jimin doesn’t think Liya is here to talk business. They rarely do that. Live in two different worlds. He wants her to go. This is really uncomfortable. How much of a dick he is. “My father of course. But that’s not the problem Jimin. I keep sleeping through the days. It happened more than one time, are you aware?” Liya raises her head back. To give Jimin an accusatory look. Jimin wasn’t in a good mood to begin with. And that mood starts to get worsen when Liya silently, but definitely accuses Jimin. She does that all the time. Even his guilty conscience starts to dissipate at her accusatory look.

“And that’s my fault? That you sleep through your meetings?” He feels like shit when he says that, however. It’s not his fault, to be fair. But still he knows what’s happening yet never tried to explain that to her. Maybe this is his chance to bring that subject up. He promised you he would talk to Liya. But after the club he felt too cowardly to face either of you. For different reasons.

Jimin feels heavy. Bile rising up his throat. He cheated on her. Their relationship might not be the best but still cheating never was something they had both done. Ever. Not even when he can’t remember when they last had sex.

Yes, that’s it. That’s why he was so out of control with you. Sexually deprived. Never felt the need to find a woman to satiate his needs since he was so busy. That, however, in the end doesn’t change the fact he is human. So doesn’t the fact it was wrong.

“No. How’s that your fault?” She questions back. Keeps her gaze on Jimin’s face. Makes him uneasy. God, he needs to come clean, doesn’t he? How though? This is a very complicated matter. “No, I should have woken you up.” He says timidly in the end. Voice barely a whisper. Liya certainly doesn’t expect that if the way her eyebrows raise is anything. Jimin can’t wake her up even if he wants to. And he doesn’t know what he should do. You and he will have to do something soon. Liya nods slightly. Says that it wasn’t his fault, and she doesn’t expect him to do that. Surely is about to say something else when Jimin beats her to it.

It’s now or never.

“Baby, are you sure you are just sleeping through days?” The term of endearment feels heavy on his tongue. She looks confuse for a moment. Her perfect brows pull together. “What do you mean?” Asks. “Uh… like... are you having weird dreams?” He praises himself for coming up with that.

“Like what kind of dreams?”

“I don’t know. Like any kind of dream. Vivid dreams I mean.” Waits hopefully for her answer. “No… No, I don’t dream at all, I think. It’s like I’m dead while I’m sleeping.” Says making Jimin feel even more miserable. How is he ever going to clear this mess. He just nods. “That’s good. I mean at least you are not having any bad dreams.” Says as he finally turns his computer on. Liya clears her throat again, however. Jimin thought she would leave, but of course that can’t be the reason why she is here. They don’t share their problems. She isn’t here to vent about her issues like she should.

“Well? You are not here to tell me your life sucks, are you?” Jimin pays his attention back to Liya, lips curling up slightly despite there’s nothing amusing happening. Liya blows a breath out before taking another one in. “No. I’m here to tell you that I can’t make it to the Hoseok’s party. Sorry baby.” Says without an ounce of regret in her voice or face. It’s Jimin’s turn to blow a breath out. He isn’t surprised at all. Nor is he hurt. It’s very expected from Liya. Just tilts his head up. Asks the reason simply.

“I just have to meet Min Jae for this dinner on New Year’s Eve. I’m so sorry but it’s so sudden baby. He only called me just this morning-”

“Don’t fucking lie Liya. You are not least bit sorry, and you never wanted to join me there at Hoseok’s at first place.” Jimin scoffs. There was a time he couldn’t stand Min Jae. The damn celebrity and the heartthrob of Seoul, South Korea. Doesn’t know since when he does not care. Liya flinches at his words. Or voice.

“Watch your tone and words Park Jimin. You don’t get to talk to me like that because you’re jealous. You’re too old to be jealous.” Liya says sternly as she stands up.

Jealous?

“I’m by no means fucking Jealous baby.” Jimin emphasizes the word fuck yet tones down his voice. Doesn’t want to fight. Not after he did something wrong. Feels like he has no right to do so. Liya stares at his face. “Good then. Just tell them I’m really sorry I couldn’t make it.” Takes her bag and walks to the door. Reaches the doorknob but then turns around again. “You know what Jimin? You should at least pretend you’re disappointed. You don’t look like you care at all.” Bites on to her bottom lip while waiting for Jimin’s answer.

See, now Jimin is wrong for everything he did yet Liya makes his blood boil with her stupid antics. She wants him to beg. All the time. Wants him to be the one who gives hundred percent. He happily did so once. When he thought he would be able to do forever without getting tired but then he did. He is fucking exhausted of that. Ever since that day he finally felt tired he and Liya started to crumble.

So, he scoffs. “You know what Liya? You should at least pretend that you’re sorry you couldn’t make it. You don’t care at all. And if you think I would beg, sorry Miss. Kim Liya, but I’m just fine by myself.”

…………………………………………………………………………………

“So….” You start after staring into each other’s faces for a solid five minutes. It’s getting awkward.

“So…” Jimin repeats you. Just sitting in a desk chair while you sit on the edge of the bed. In his bedroom again. You were so worried about this day to be honest. You partially expected him to start avoiding you despite his words. But he was here when you opened your eyes. And it was you who insisted on having this conversation as the first thing. That way your own nerves will not allow you to sweep the conversation back under the rug, just after you pulled it out. So, here you are. Gaping at your faces with no words leaving your mouths.

“We need to talk Jimin. You promised we would talk.” You pout at him. Unintentionally again. There’s a slight smile ghosting on Jimin’s lips, but he doesn’t really smile. “We are talking.” He says, gesturing between you. “You call this talking? I can’t believe you are in a five-year long relationship when this is your idea of talking.” You say with a huff. “Exactly. That’s why it does work.” Jimin mutters under his breath. You want to ask what he meant but that would certainly distract your subject of matter. So, you heavily sigh as you get to your feet. Approach him. He looks up at you. It’s not comfortable having this conversation while he looks at you like that. Reminds you of a time he stares at you just the same way through his lashes.

Okay stop!

“Did you talk with Liya bec-”

“I did and she, apparently doesn’t travel anywhere Lil. She is just sleeping. She thinks she sleeps like she is dead.”

“That can’t be though. If I’m here and she disappeared-”

“I know. But I already told you she can’t be waking up in a strange world since she never said a word about it. She said nothing because she isn’t going through what you are going through.” Jimin tells as he gets to his feet finally. Towering over you. You like that. “I don’t know what’s happening but she, Liya, doesn’t go anywhere. Or even if she does, she never woken up. She is asleep all these times you are here.” Explains further. Peers into your eyes. You do the same for a second before tearing your gaze away. This makes it worse. It makes this isn’t on Liya either. She isn’t going anywhere. She is asleep when this shift happens, and you are the only one who is awake. That means it happens while you are asleep. Not her. This is on you. Not her.

It feels hard to breathe again. “What do you think will happen if I fall asleep while she is still awake. Will us shift?” You ask, suddenly. Jimin pulls his brows together. Thinks for a bit. “I’m not sure. We haven’t tried that yet, have we? We can try that. I mean you can try falling asleep in middle of the day when she would be clearly awake?” Suggests. You nod.

“Yeah, that’s it. I’ll try that tomorrow.” Say like you finally found an answer when Jimin softly sighs.

“Whatever we find Lil, will not change anything. Even if this doesn’t happen while she is awake, it will happen again one day or another. Unless of course you two decide to compromise and change your sleeping schedules.” He says it as a joke, but you beam at him. A wide grin adorning your face. Jimin’s face softens at that. Shakes his head. Does that thing he always do when he is frustrated. Searching for answers from the above. Looks at you back and about to take his hands to his face when you sprint into action. Grabbing from his both wrists and surprising you both.

“Don’t do that. It turns you into a tomato.” You say since you already started it. A soft chuckle escapes Jimin’s mouth.

“Seriously?” Asks. You let his hands go. Say that you are serious, and he nods. Smiles. Almost like in pity. “That thing won’t work Lil. The sleep schedule thing. You know it’s the same thing, right? It’ll not make any difference… it’s not like one of you can sleep during the day or something. And I don’t think Liya will... anyway it’s stupid.” Jimin talks to you like you’re a child who lost her candy. Your smile falters at that. Of course, you know. It’s really stupid. Then you’re back at a lost.

This time it’s you who search for the answers in the white ceiling. It’s you who rub your face frustratingly before you turn your back to Jimin. Let your head fall down again and throw your hands on your hips. Feel like you want to cry all of a sudden. “Then what should we do Jimin? Keep going like this? Forever? I’m oh so fucking tired. I can’t keep doing this. I just want a normal life. And I don’t know how to-”

“Hey. Hey.” Jimin doesn’t turn you around to face him. Instead, he walks around you to face you. Gently tilt your face to his with your chin. And let go of you immediately afterwards. You pretend that doesn’t do any hurtful things to you. “We will find answers Lil. We will. I don’t know how, but we will.” Stares into your eyes. You do the same, let yourself get lost in his amber depths. Did he always have those eyes. Why do you feel warm. Cozy. Melting. Why do you feel like you travel into a forest at twilight. And then he smiles again, softly, making those amber depths disappear in his cheeks. You want to touch him. Cup his cheeks.

Nope. Not again!

You turn your head away from that bewitching gaze. Clear your throat. Take a step back. “So, what are we going to do until then Park? If it take like forever to find answers, if we turn old? No, I will not live to turn old. I’ll die from the exhaustion.” You whine. Bottom lip jutting out. Jimin chuckles. “We will find answers before you get grey hairs and will stop this. And until then…” Now he gapes at you intensely. No sign of a laugh on his face. You watch gears shift in his head. Takes his time and then gives a single nod. “Yes, until then you can at least have your normal life back.” Clarifies. Yet, nothing is clarified in your head. “What normal life? Like? What do you mean Park?” You pull your eyebrows together.

“Like you wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night, like normal people do. Unless you party hard at some nights. You are going to live a normal life even though there’s nothing normal in your life Spring Roll.” Jimin is stern. Looks like someone with a plan.

“Are you suggesting that I’m spending a whole day here and a whole day there. Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“How’s that gonna change anything? What about Liya? You want her to miss an entire day of her life? And what do you plan to tell her when she starts asking you about the previous day? What am I going to say to Key? She is already on my tail. I can’t miss my lectures Jimin. I can’t stay away from my job for a whole day.” You throw your hands in the air. Jimin surely isn’t someone with a plan. His plan is way stupider than yours.

“Okay slow down.” Jimin holds a finger in front of you to shut you up. “Well, first, we won’t do this for long. We will find a way to stop this before… I don’t know before uh… like the spring.” Says proudly when you gape at him in disbelief. Holds two fingers up. “Okay even before that. And second, for Liya, she didn’t remember a thing when you uh... that day at the club. You spent a day here and she was fine-”

“You don’t plan on telling her about me at all. Do you park? You just asked her if she is waking up in somewhere strange and when she said she doesn’t you let it at that?” You don’t appreciate that pathway.

“No. I didn’t, and I’ll not ask her anything Lil. Because that’s stupid. If she doesn’t know then she is good that way. No need to trouble her when she will not believe me anyway. And… trust me it’s better when she doesn’t remember a whole day and think everything is fine than waking up in a middle of the day and worrying about having a some fucking sleeping disorder.” Jimin let his hand fall down. Gaze on you. Expectant.

“Okay, so you are saying she is better sleeping a day away. Fine. Then what about me Jimin? What about my life. How-”

“You gonna get medical assistance.”

“I’m going to get what?”

“You are terribly ill that you need special consideration from your university. And your damn boss will understand that too.” He looks smug. Proud. Really do look like someone with a plan. You are not convinced, however.

“But that’s lying.” You say as trying to imagine how your life will be. You’ll have to lie to everyone. “You have a better idea Spring Roll?” He grabs from your shoulders suddenly. “Like you said Lil. You can’t stay awake through nights. You can’t keep giving stupid excuses. So, let’s give them something believable. And meanwhile let’s find a way.” Raises one of his eyebrows at you. Well, you have no other ideas let alone better ones. Maybe, just maybe this will work. But then it’s not like you can go and tell people you are sick and need special consideration. Expect them to rely on your verbal explanations.

“Well, I need proof to prove I’m sick Park.”

“Leave that to me. Just give me the details I want.” He grins. Let you go. You’re still not hundred percent convinced. Feel skeptical. Yet are willing to see what will happen. So, you nod. Sigh.

“Yeah. Let’s do this. It’s already fucked up anyway.”

He nods too. You both nod in unison. One problem is talked through. No answers but there is a plan, that might work. Or not. In that case, there’s only one thing is left to talk through. And for you, that is the scariest part. Makes your legs weak even before you start it. If the way Jimin gulps harsh is anything, you know he feels the same way. Still, you’ll have to talk this one too. Especially, since you’ll spend days here from now on.

“Um... well, then about what happened the other day… I... uh...” You are the one who start it first. Jimin encourages you to keep going with a slight nod and his furrowed brows. “I... I mean... it’s like I’m sexually dep-”

“Sexually deprived.” Jimin finishes for you. You suck in a deep breath. Fall into a deafening silence. Have no idea whether he completed your sentence or said it to you.

“I was sexually deprived Lil. I don’t remember when I last fucked.” He then lets you know that he indeed did the latter. You are about to ask how, when he gives the answer for that one as well. “Yes, I have a girlfriend but we both are so fucking busy. It just happened Lil but-”

“But it won’t happen again.” You complete it for him this time.

“Exactly. And it’s not happened because you look like her because, uh… I don’t know, you’re not. And it has everything to do with me being horny as fuck.” He is not looking at you. Just staring at the bed. As if this is the first time, he sees it. “And it’s so fucking wrong. I’ll resolve my problems, and I don’t want to think that I used you or something.” Gets done with bed and looks at you instead. “Ugh... this is so frustrating.” Finally rubs his face. You don’t stop him this time. “I fucking crossed a line Lil. I’m really sorry and it will not happen again.” Finishes. Now it’s your time.

You feel at a loss, however. Feel disappointed. Ridiculous considering you expected this. This is how it should be. Still, there’s a pang in your heart. A tangled ache. A piercing confusion. You force yourself to smile. Pretend that you’re fine. “Yeah, I get it. And it wasn’t completely on you Jimin. I said yes and like you, I’m sexually deprived too. And unlike you I don’t have a fucking boyfriend either.” You finally manage to say while blowing out a breath. This is fine. “So… that happened because, both of us were horny. Like extremely horny. That’s it and I’ll resolve my problems as well.” You agree. Not with the bottom of your heart. Something feel wrong. Extremely. Yet you continue anyway.

“I’m sorry too Park.” Chuckle very awkwardly. Wave your hand in front of you. You’re not looking at him either. “But like are we good though?” Take a sneaky glance at him. Catch the way he bob his head violently. “Of course, we are.” Affirms and gives you an awkward chuckle of his own.

“Great!” You keep forcing yourself to smile.

“Great...” He echoes.

“Um... then are we like friends?” You ask without thinking. What a stupid question. He thinks so too, apparently. Gapes at you. “Friends?” Inquires tentatively. You just keep peering at his adorable face. Leaves him to do nothing but answer your question.

“Yes. Yeah, fuck. Friends. We can be friends like… uh... yeah friends Lil. We are friends.” Concludes at last. Takes you by surprise when he is stretching his hand for you to shake.

Oh! It apparently aches.

It was your idea anyway. You take his hand. Shake.

“Friends it is. And we will not do anything that crosses the line again.” You seal the deal.

“We won’t.” Jimin squeezes your hand. Keeps it in his hold more than necessary and finally let go. And you’re certain this is the most disappointed you’ve ever been.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“Liya wmph be there a’ New Year’s Ee?” Taehyung asks through his mouthful of kimbap. Jimin peers at him over the printed report he’s been looking at while eating his lunch. “Liya what?” Jimin frowns at his friend.

“Yah! Don’t talk with your mouth full, moron.” Jin clicks his tongue at Taehyung. Taehyung sighs but swallows down his food before repeating what he said earlier.

“Liya won’t be there at New Year’s Eve? Seoyeon told me.” Even gives further explanation, though nobody asks.

“Oh, she won’t?” Hoseok perks up too, expectantly looking at Jimin. Jimin hates this. Just shrugs.

“Yeah, some dinner plans or something.” Says as nonchalantly as he can.

“With who? You’ll be there though, right?” Hoseok asks again at the moment Jimin is about go back to minding his own business. “Of course, I will. Why wouldn’t I Hobi?” Jimin gives him a tight-lipped smile, praying he would stop asking questions. He doesn’t, but Taehyung does.

“Liya was really weird that day. Is she okay? Like was her tummy actually hurting that day? Is that why she acted like that?” Taehyung blinks at Jimin. Jimin blinks at Taehyung. Jin butts in to save him. “Why would someone act so cheery when their stomach hurts? That’s fucking stupid Tae.” He says while searching for a paper serviette. Jimin almost nods in assent when Jin speaks again. “But she was weird. I mean not that I know her very well...” He doesn’t get to complete whatever he is saying when Hoseok snorts.

“Sorry.” He mumbles fast. Then point his chopsticks at Jimin. “But Hyung is right. Fuck dude. You and she have been together for five fucking years, and we knew each other all that time but she is a fucking mystery, you know. I mean no offense...” Looks carefully at Jimin.

“None taken.” Jimin finally gives up trying to review this stupid report and places it back on the table. Hoseok carries on happily. “Yeah, but I mean I was so surprised she joined us in a club? And then acted like she likes us so much?” He raises his eyebrows and tilts his face. Jin after all didn’t butt in to save him.

“Right? Exactly my point.” Taehyung agrees very enthusiastically for Jimin’s displeasure. “She even danced with that guy. What was his name Hobba? Your friend’s friend? With tats and eyebrow piercing?” He looks at Hoseok while pointing at his own eyebrow. Jimin feels the same unpleasant twist in his guts at the memory.

“Who Jungkook?” Hoseok asks back when Taehyung snaps his fingers, grinning. “Yeah. Jung Kook. She danced with him dude.” They all are looking at Jimin now. He doesn’t know what to say. Jin again butts in and definitely isn’t saving him.

“And then these two almost fucked in the dance floor. Liya? And Park fucking Jimin? I have never seen her somewhat like kiss you in the public Jimin. Was she possessed that day?” Jin finally has found the serviette he was looking for. Jimin sighs. Hardly. There’s a headache forming. “She was just fine, guys. Was in a good mood. That’s it.” Says wearily. He really wants his friends to drop this conversation.

“Yeah? So, she is back to her sour mood again. Back to dislike us again. To think that we are all bad influence on the-best-future- CEO- Jimin.” Hoseok says with an edge to his voice. Makes Jimin really uncomfortable. It’s true in a kind of way but not completely. Liya doesn’t think that way, just doesn’t like hanging out with them and that’s her choice. Still, Jimin feels the urge to defend. Defend who, he has no idea. Maybe himself. “She doesn’t think that way and she... I mean has no problem with you.” Says and stuffs his mouth with food.

“I think that’s the same thing. I mean we don’t care, it’s your personal life, but she really doesn't like us, Jiminie. That’s why she won’t come to the party as well.” Hoseok scoffs. That discomfort Jimin felt is turning into anger now. “Really Hobi? You said you don’t care but you certainly act like you do.” He puts the chopsticks down. Hoseok does the same. “I don’t. I’m just saying Jimin. No need to get so riled up. If you’re happy then we are happy. The question is, Are you happy?” Smiles at Jimin but it feels like a smile of pity.

“Yeah, yeah, happy boss happy life.” Taehyung quickly disrupts. Picks a kimbap and brings that to Hoseok’s mouth. He gives Taehyung a very judgmental look but eats it anyway. Makes Jimin sigh. He loves his friends. “I’m not your boss you fuckers! We are co- fucking owners. And I really don’t want you to think that way. I am happy, guys. I mean c’mon it’s just a party and who cares if she can’t make it.” Tries to laugh but fails.

“You should care.” Jin says noncommittally. Doesn’t even look at anyone. But everyone looks at him. “That’s your girlfriend of five years. We are your friends, and we don’t want to suddenly sit back to talk about walking in different paths with whatever we made till now, just because she hates us. Maybe you should care, Jiminie.” Finally looks at Jimin. Jimin feels a weird sensation his stomach. This is not the first time his friends brought something up like this. Not that they always do but sometimes they just let Jimin knows that he isn’t happy. Fuck them!

“Okay fuck. She will come. Since you all think it’s a huge deal that she can’t come, and it defines our relationship. Let me prove it.” Jimin blurts that out. Looks at everyone. Ignores the way all three of them saying he doesn’t have to prove anything to them.

“She will come guys. Hobi, count her in.”

Fuck, why did he say that. How old is he to play silly games. How on earth is he going to make Liya agrees to come.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Jimin stares out of his floor-to-ceiling office window. Sulking. Regretting his life decisions.

“Fuck!” Mutters to himself and sighs. Why did he say Liya would come? Why did he make a big deal out of it. Maybe he can just let it go. His friends won’t make it a huge deal if he joins them alone. They wouldn’t now, would they? Jimin groans loudly. Looks up. About to rub his face furiously when the tomato pops up in his head. Can’t help but chuckle. You are always so weirdly interesting.

He needs to block you out of his mind. Think about the problems he has instead of thinking about you. It’s very unintentional, however. You’ll pop up on his mind at most random times. Like now. Jimin puts his hands back. Refrains from making himself looking like a tomato. Wonders if you try sleeping in the day. See, can’t help it. Groans again. Starts pacing around only to stop dead in the track. You feel nauseous when he does that.

Wait what? What the actual fuck? You again?

This might look really ridiculous how he just stands in middle of his office. Mouth agape. What’s wrong with him? He needs to find a way to get Liya abandon her dinner and join him. Or if it doesn’t work, he will have to find another plan. He just needs to bring his girlfriend to that stupid party. So, his friends will not think his relationship is crumbling. He shouldn’t care. It’s stupid to try to worry about a fake healthy appearance of a relationship. But apparently, he does. And he needs to find a way. Needs to stop thinking about what you like and not.

He looks at the place that gives him answers all the time- the fucking ceiling. He always finds answers there.

A way to bring his girlfriend to the stupid party. Or find another way. Another way.

Wait. Another way? He has another way.

A huge grin breaks out on his face. Of course. Liya will never change her plans for him. He won’t either. But since he still needs to pretend, all he has to do is bring his girlfriend. Or someone who looks like his girlfriend. There he goes. He lets out a victorious noise. He’s going to ask you. You will agree. Because of course you will.

Besides, you two are friends now. Jimin thinks that’s extremely stupid. Your idea anyway. So, he will make the best of being friends with you. Even though something doesn’t sit right with him when he thinks you are friends now. There’s a disappointment in his heart. An ache. Still, this is the right thing and right way. He gives himself a few nods. He will ask you to help your friend. That’s what friends do. This strange ache and longing will go away. And when it does, he will have a good friend.

A friend from a star.

A friend who looks exactly like his girlfriend.

A friend who sounds so sweet when she comes.

A friend who has most beautiful fucking tits.

Still, friends. You said you are now friends. Fucking friends.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Chapter index

Taglist- @chimmy-licious @smoljimjim @graydolan12

[sciencebecameouraddiction]

my lucifer headcanons

note: these are just my own head canons. things i’ve noticed, how i write lucifer, what plays into why i write luce the way i do… etc. purely my own opinion.

- i think michael was very fond of his brother

- when the time came though to listen to dad and fulfill his duty or be a brother to lucifer michael chose duty

- the betrayal is still a sore spot for lucifer

- during lucifer’s “youth” he was curious, always dreaming up incredible creations… it was why he was dads favorite.

- he made the star fish, “because the sea deserves its own stars!” and he also made the duck. the ducks first iteration was quite a bit larger… lucifer and god compromised on a smaller duck. (more like god bribed lucifer.)

- he watched adam be made…. so he was always fond of him and lilith… until he fell in love with lilith…

- he didn’t realize it was love

- but michael knew and michael was scared. so he would draw lucifer away from the garden every chance he got

- lucifer was very naive when he was cast down to hell. he knew so much, he had been alive for so long, but there was so much life experience he didn’t have.

- the first few years in hell were horrible…

- he had hope at first

- maybe it all wouldn’t be so bad

- it was really bad. like really bad. the people who came down to hell were unspeakable devils

- (this is based off a fic i read and i can’t find it, if this rings any bells pls let me know the fic name) but lucifer is continuously appalled and distraught by the atrocities committed in his name.

- it’s one of the reasons he so powerful. he has the angelic power but also the power from those who worship him and make sacrifices for him

he really hates it. a lot. makes him feel no better than the worse overlord (cough alastor cough)

- charlie has no idea and she’ll never know if he can help it

- lucifer smells like apples and vanilla musk, a hint of cinnamon and something floral or citrusy.

- the floral or citrus changes depending on his mood

- he has a huge library. he actually pops up to earth with Asmodeous sometimes and takes books.

- he saved the whole Library of Alexandria’s books before it burned down

- he’s great friends with all the sins

- arguably closest with Beelzebub and Asmodeous

- he loves claw machines. the lights, the sounds, the prize winning???? he’s so fucking happy

- he actually wears glasses to read. he doesn’t need them but he says they make him look smarter.

- is actually a pretty good leader, is not nearly as forgiving as charlie is, but he’s not inherently cruel

- his third favorite color is pink

- his first and second are yellow and red, obviously

- he has expensive ass, maximalist taste.

- he doesn’t use tech because he knows what vox does to said tech.

- he’s always wanted a dog

- he’s very touchy. shows love physically. is only this way if he likes you though

- he has nightmares almost every night

- coffee addict

- because after not sleeping he wakes up looking like death warmed over

- and that’s if he didn’t forget to eat the past few days except for random snacks and didn’t do a 48 hour blitz of staying up working on ducks or the bit of kingdom shit he does.

- he has a handful of servants who he trusts and they are the only one in the house. there’s no team. nothing like that. he keeps it very close

- this was after someone who was a servant tried to throw an angelic dagger at his head because really they wanted to kill him and thought working for him would get them close enough.

- he homeschooled charlie. he knows a lot of stuff and even knew the guy who created calculus!