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blocksruinedme · 2 years ago

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ask anything? :D we talk empires n aus stuff a lot in the discord already so Im gonna ask: what were the best (and worst. if youre feeling the urge to be spiteful :3) parts of your last fandom before this? and what are the biggest difference, and similarities, between it and ur current mcyt fandoms!

Alright let's go. The fandom is The Untamed/Mo Do Zu Shi, and I will love it forever. If you've seen long hairedtruly beautiful chinese twinks in long robes in swords, it's probably then. the original source is a web novel written by an anime fic author, and I'm really into the live action version (there's also animated, comic, audio drama)

It caused me to learn a LOT about chinese culture language. Like, a lot, I tried Mandarin for a bit on duolingo but I can't even explain how much I learned about history, food, culture, forms of address, poetry, just, so much. The fandom is full of fancy smart bitches, one of my fave tumblrs is someone who majored in ancient china, and the analysis etc was just chef's kiss amazing. i wouldn't be doing chinese brush painting, and that's bringing me a lot of joy, i've never done visual art before.

I would not have learned so much about culture if it wasn't for my very tightknit group chat. I mentioned I'm on a plane to see friends? It's one of them & their spouse (who i've known since college) and one of the other people in the groupchat, who only knows them because I watched the untamed and introduced my friends. last spring us and the 4th member of the gc went on vacation together. I'm the only person who is fully monolingual, and the only one who isn't an immigrant or child of immigrants from taiwan. I've learned so much about so much of those experiences, and I didn't consider myself ignorant before, but you really need to get to know someone to understand some things (as much as you can without living it

the fic is FUCKING AMAZING. idk how many unread bookmarks i have of fic that is professional publication quality - partly because some of the authors are pro writers. I've been lucky to get to read a loooooot of fic by professional writers, cause my fandoms and ships overlapped. There is so much fic, closer to 100k than 50k i think.

i bonded with other friends by getting on calls and watching with them. i was maybe pushy lol. sadly i'm not gonna try and get anyone into mcyt

canon queer canon queer like deeply canon queer like there are extensive sex scenes in the novel and the entire thing is a gay/bisexual love story it's so good IT'S SO GOOD I CRIED SO MUCH IT'S SO GOOD. SOB SOB SOB.

xue yang my insane psycopath blorbo fuck i love him i got a painting printed on canvas hanginf over my bed.

the canon is closed. the script is a script and the actors are actors and nothing like feeling weird about the crossover can ever happen. i never got as much as i wanted with my side character blorbos but it is what it is.

Downsides

tha canon is closed ;-) I'll never get more than my 50 episodes, unless

Some drama and.... discourse has become such a loaded term. But sometimes you have things like conflict that comes up between the feelings and desires of chinese diaspora and jewish people about how things are portrayed in fic, right? And it's not fighting over nothing, it's (afaik) not fighting to fight, not fighting for clout or because you want to look cool or because you're unhappy with your life and think lashing out will help.

Also, there is fighting to fight and for clout etc. If I ever see top/bottom discourse again it will be too soon, i've got enough of that to last till the heat death of the universe

translations, man. translation is an art and i am glad to know so much more about translation but it's so frustrating to know you'll never really get it, and to try and tell people things like "i know he sounds very brusque but he's speaking ina. very fancy linguistic register and sounds fancy to the other people, and the way he said all those sentences there and they were all four characters long, that's poetic and significant and and and"

I was not inspired to write in general, I wasn't getting ideas. That wasn't notable because I've never ever ever written regularly, i wrote one yuletide fic a year for awhile, i old wrote novely. I am not someone who pops into a new fandom and writes 6 fic in 2 months cause that's the kind of thing that've done in other fandoms. this is insane. And now that i have the writing bug... well, the fic is so amazing, and plentiful, i'm not going to get much attention. i just wrote an exchange fic, my first time writing in the fandom, because my mcyt fic writing encouraged me. I am glad i did it, i made my recipient happy, and it will never get as many kudos as my least popular mcyt fic. I think it has 8, and I'm happy to get that. Here's the thing, i have so many things i *can* do with my creative energies, and multiple that i do to reach and touh other people, and i'm not going to prioritize things where i know I'm not good enough to get read. It's not that i'm choosing writing vs nothing because i want people to read it, i'm choosing writing vs. other things

Comparisons

Okay i think a lot can be pretty obvious from what I said above. We don't have that much fic, we don't have canon smut, afaik we don't have pro authors - not that you have to be pro to be good! or that all pro authors are good! but they usually are pretty good.

other people i knew irl or from my long fandom past got into it. i would get ao3 fic notification from people and eagerly check to see if they'd gotten dragged in. i do not expect that to ever ever happen here. i have ventured far away from the fandoms of my past!

For me... I was a pretty normal age in the untamed fandom, and i am wicked old here. I'm an elder millennial. When I was in my 20s I met fans in their 50s, including at cons that make it really real. I don't see any reason people should drop interests cause they age??? It's bizarre and incomprehensible to me and I always wonder how people will feel when they age. I don't think there's anything inherently childish about this source, and i am happy to talk to younger people, but it's different when you know you're at a similar level of life stuff, and the privileges that come with age. i try to be careful and aware of this with my interactions with younger people. power imbalances etc and i think i do a good job. (my fandom before the untamed, that i was much more casual about, was other youtube and that was maybe even younger?)

The canon! oh my god! LOOK AT THIS SHIT. I majored in media studies and focused on fandom and what was at the time new media and this is... y'all if i was in college now i would be writing desperately about this. As a media studies person, as a larper, as someone who is obsessed with watching the ways people can express themselves and connect and stuff grow... fuck man. SMPs????? fuck yeah!!!!!! gah!!!!! catch me sober and i can be more coherent.

connecting with people has been slower, but it's picking up. <3

the untamed had so few female charaters. empires being so female is just so amazing to me, and i *am* working on f/f, it's just. the problem is jimmy, okay? no women throw themselves at jimmy, it's not *my* fault.

i can't fucking vid it. i just. can't. i can't draw and i never finished any vids for the untamed but i have so many unfinished ones. i'm not a great vidder but i love it, and not even having the possibility... it makes me sad a lot, actually. but i need facial expressions and more dynamic footage.

in conclusion fandom is great. before the untamed i hadn't been seriously into fandom in years, i've always been in and out. it was insane how into it i got. i started watching as i recovered from major surgery, and was still deep in the pandemic blues.

mcyt has unlocked creativity in me I never ever ever expected. i'm an elder millennial and i started reading fic when i was 12 and fic writing was never gonna be my thing. in 2021 i beta read over 100k words to contribute, in 2022 i started podficcing to have some creative expression of my own. my therapist and i talk about it all the time (i've been with her since i was 19, we talk about everything, and fyi what you love can say things about what's up with you and therapists know that, talk about your blorbos). I've determined i'm not getting an answer anytime soon. The medium is a lot, right, but it's more. I don't know, but I fucking love writing like this, the satisfaction, the fact that i made someone *cry* with my silly cave ranchers fic. I've made people cry a lot with my larp writing, but that intended to make them cry, not something i wrote in a fever dream in one day.

So thank you everyone who is part of my experience, it's been really great and i hope to keep being so happy and fulfilled and encouraged in my creativity etc!

"hope that's what you wanted". i am only ever concise due to extensive editing lol :)

#me #answering asks

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redphlox · 3 years ago

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I received my English copy of the bnha fifth light novel today and ahhh, the Todo family chapter was so insightful, fun to read, and sad all at the same time. I loved all the little details because they tie into the manga. These are just a few of my random incoherent thoughts and reactions I wanted to share with y'all:

Natsuo reflects that as a child, before Shouto was born, he wanted his father's "love and care" , so "he would act energetic and eager" for attention whenever Endeavor was around. But his father never acknowledged him. BUT, Natsuo is grateful that he had his "warm and caring" mother to "help him cope" with that rejection... UGH!! It's horribly devastating that his first memories are of being ignored by someone who's supposed to love him more than anyone else on this planet.

Natsuo goes on to think about how he felt like Shouto stole his mom from him after he was born because she started giving Shouto so much attention. As an adult, Natsuo understands that she was just projecting Shouto from their abuser, but it still hurt. That makes sense - Rei was the only source of parental comfort and acceptance he received and suddenly she was also gone. He must have felt emotionally abandoned, and even moreso (I imagine) after Touya died.

Speaking of Touya, Natsuo thinks about him in passing and I get the feeling it's painful to think about Touya. That makes sense too, considering why Touya died. In the chapter, Natsuo also reflects that Touya will always be the same age he is in his picture at the altar so it feels like time stands still in that room 😭 😭 😭 UGH!!!

Natsuo is just incredibly angry that his family is broken. He blames Endeavor because he sought out Rei for a quirk marriage, treated them like they don't matter, and abused Shouto.

Natsuo's onii-chan instincts start to kick in as he tries to make small talk with Shouto because they've barely talked. He kicks himself (mentally) for being so awkward but again, blames Endeavor because this is all his fault that he doesn't have a relationship with Shouto...

Meanwhile, Fuyumi really does go out of her way to make a happy family. She and Natsuo dance around each other awkwardly when Natsuo says something angry about their dad and she tries to be positive, trying to not upset the other. This makes so much sense in light of chapter 302 where Fuyumi says she always knew her family was broken but tried to pretend it was all okay. Ahhh. I love that this really ties into that chapter, which hadn't even been out yet at the time this novel was published in Japan. Hori must really guide this author and approve of things beforehand.

The amount of guilt and inadequacy that Natsuo feels because he couldn't do anything to protect his little brother when Endeavor was actively beating him is genuinely awful. That also coincides with his comment in 302 about slugging Endeavor and making him talk to Touya. This poor boy is filled to the brim with unprocessed sorrow and feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. Not surprised either - this is a fairly common reaction for survivors of abuse and dysfunctional families, but it hurts to see Natsuo carry around this pain and misplaced responsibility.

Fuyumi does try to console Natsuo and tells him that his pain is still valid after Natsuo compares his abuse to Shouto's. UGH!!! 😭 😭 I love that even though both Natsuo and Fuyumi are on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to their dad (anger vs. willingness to give him a chance) that they don't dismiss each other. They're actually very considerate of each other's feelings. LOVE IT!! There's a sentence in this chapter about how Natsuo and Fuyumi have been together in this all this time and he can't hide his feelings from her. She knows him too well. YESSS, that sibling bond ♥

Fuyumi sets it up so that Natsuo and Shouto spend some alone time together while she cooks. Natsuo tries to play ball with Shouto but they just end up falling in the koi pond. Later, Shouto says he was caught off guard when Natsuo threw the ball because that was the ball Natsuo and their other siblings would play with all the time and Shouto always watched them and wished he could play too. 😭 😭 😭 😭 Natsuo sheds a few tears fndjdjsjsjdj. What could have been... 😭 😭 😭 This is literally a grieving process for them both - they lost their childhoods. There are no do-overs. And Natsuo blames himself for not going out of his way to invite Shouto to play. Like, Natsuo... You were also a baby 😔 don't be hard on yourself.

Shouto's baby-of-the-family genes kick in too when the soba he and Natsuo were making is a major failure and he's feeling emo about it. His siblings chuckle at him and tease him. Shouto is like, "THIS IS A TRAGEDY IT'S NOT FUNNY" 🤣 but smiles with them anyway.

Endeavor is almost crushed by a villain with a King Kong quirk lmao. The siblings watch this on the news. After Endeavor wins, Shouto goes back to mourning his soba. lmao.

At the end the siblings wish this is just the first of many get togethers!!! And I hope so too!! 💞

#Bnha #bnha light novels #Natsuo todoroki #Shouto todoroki #Fuyumi todoroki #Touya todoroki #Rei todoroki #Julie talks bnha #Bnha spoilers #keeping up with the todorokis

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ray-ray-writings · 4 years ago

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can i request an imagine in the dream smp where the reader is tommys older sister and when he gets exiled she goes to visit him to ask him to come live with her (she lives away from the town to stay out of drama) but when she get there she sees dream destroying all his stuff so she fights him and tells him lo leave tommy alone then takes Tommy home with her (i just want to protect this small child sm) thank you 💕 i really enjoy your writing

Thank you for the request friend! I’m so sorry that it took so long to complete, but I hope you enjoy.

Bring Him Home-Brother!Tommyinnit

As soon as you were able to, you moved out of the DreamSMP. Don’t get me wrong, you loved your family and wanted to be around them, but you just couldn’t handle the drama. You’d known Dream for a while and you knew that with him slowly gaining control of the SMP that things were definitely going to take a turn for the worst sooner or later. And as you predicted, it had.

You kept up with everything that your brothers had done throughout the years, supporting them from the comfort of your home, thousands of blocks away from the action. You received letters from all four of the men in your family, but none more frequently than your younger brother Tommy.

Tommy told you everything, kept you updated. The two of you had always been rather close, bonding over feeling slightly abandoned by your father. You became a source of confidence for the young blonde, someone he could tell anything and everything to. Someone he could joke with but also be vulnerable with. He didn’t visit you often, but when he did the two of you made the absolute most of it.

This is why when you received the distress letter, you dropped everything to make your way to him.

Tommy’s weekly letter came and you eager opened it and let your eyes scan the words as fast as you could, eager to know what he and Tubbo had gotten up to with the new responsibility of the country on their shoulders. But as you read, your eyebrows furrowed. The sloppily written words seemed rushed as Tommy explained to you the result of what he thought would be a practical joke. He tried to assure you not to worry though, Ghostbur had come with him and Dream visited everyday.

You carefully set the letter down on the countertop and stare off into the distance as you begin to ponder your next move. You ignore Tommy’s “assurance” and allow the worry to fill your veins. Ghostbur wasn’t the same as Wilbur, he wouldn’t be good at taking care of your brother. And Dream wouldn’t be much better, he was the one that put him there for goodness sakes.

The coordinates that Tommy had included in his letter tempted you as your eyes scanned over them…. That’s not too far from where you were. Maybe half a day's trip… You could go visit him. And technically, he never states that he has to stay in that particular location for his exile. If he wanted to, he could come home with you.

With that thought, you’ve made up your mind. You quickly pack up some materials, food, water, building blocks, your weapons and armor, before picking the letter up and exiting your home. Your eyes scan the cords again before turning and beginning your trip to Tommy.

Like I said, it’s only about half a day’s trip and so you get there when the sun is still high in the sky. You sigh in relief as a pitiful pitched tent greets you, at least Tommy wrote the cords correctly. You pick up your pace slightly, eager to see your brother. Your pace turns into a sprint when his loud shouts fill the air, followed by an even louder boom.

You draw closer to his camp and you find Tommy standing across from Dream, the two are staring into a hole, Tommy on the verge of tears and Dream holding a flint and steel. “Why would you do that?” Tommy cries out, “I worked so hard to gather all that stuff! Why do you keep coming back and blowing it up?”

“I’m sorry, he does what?” you growl out before you can stop yourself. Both of their heads snap to you and Tommy gasps in excitement at the sight of me. He shouts your name and rushes toward you, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug, burying his face in your neck. You wrap your arms around him too, hugging him just as tightly in return.

“I missed you so much Y/N,” Tommy mumbles against your skin, and you can tell he’s trying not to cry. It really had been a long time since the two of you had seen each other.

“I missed you too Tommy… Missed you so much,” you coo in response, placing a comforting hand on the top of his head, pushing him closer to you, subsciously wanting to hide him from Dream’s stare.

“Y/N… this is a surprise,” Dream states sheepishly, pocketing the flint and steel before rubbing the back of his head and looking at the ground to avoid your glare.

“Oh I’m sure it is. You don’t expect anyone to come and stop your plans anymore, do you Dream? You take what you want without even considering what other people might do. Well guess what Dream? I’m not scared of you. I’m really not. You may have everyone else wrapped around your little finger, but I’m not buying it. Now, I’m going to need you to leave me and my brother alone now, and not come back.”

Dream looked like he was about to protest and tell you off, but a harsh glare from you makes him shut his mouth, gulp, and nod. “I’ll see you later, Tommy,” he mumbles, turning on his heel and stalking away from the two of us. I watched him and held Tommy to me until he was out of sight, and then even a few moments after that.

You let out a sigh and released your tight grip on your brother and let him pull himself away from your chest. “Thank you for that… What are you doing here?”

“What? I have to have a reason to visit my baby brother?”

Tommy simply raises an eyebrow at you and crosses his arm across his chest which makes you sigh. “Okay, well maybe I’m here for a reason… I wanted to see if maybe… maybe you wanted to come live with me?”

Tommy’s face immediately lightens and his arms uncross at your offer. “I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just know that the two you mentioned in your letter wouldn’t be that good at looking out for you, and I meant what I said, I missed you and so I thought that maybe if you needed a place to stay while your in exile, you could stay at mine… but like I said you really don’t have to if you don’t--”

You ramble is cut off by Tommy throwing himself back into your arms, making you wrap your arms around him in return. You two hug for a few moments before you hear Tommy mumble. “You mean it? You really want me to live with you?”

Your heart breaks at the fact that Tommy needs confirmation that you want him in your home. “Yes Tommy. I mean it. I want you to come live with me. I wouldn’t have come or offered if I didn’t want you.”

Your answer seems to satisfy the boy because he asks you no more questions. You press a small kiss to the top of your brother’s head before letting him go from the hug. “Now, go get packed up, I’d like to get home before sundown and that will only happen if we leave within the next half hour.” Tommy pulls himself away from you and give you a small smile and quick nod before he shoots away from your side and begins to shove the things that Dream hadn’t blown up back into his inventory.

You wait patiently as he gathers his belongings around the camp. Once he’s all packed up, he moves to stand by your side and gives you a nod, “Okay! I’m ready.” You return the nod and wrap your arm around him. The two of you begin the journey back to your house. As you two walk, Tommy begins tot tell you everything that he wasn’t able to it in his letters, all of the small details and the funny stories that had happened in between each major event. You let him. You let him ramble about anything that pops into his head and you listen. You had missed your brother so much. And now you were able to bring him home. Who knows, maybe he’ll like living with you so much, he won’t leave… that wouldn’t be too bad.

Welcome home Tommy. Welcome home.

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360iris · 4 years ago

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Poly!Draco Malfoy x Blaise Zabini x Ravenclaw!Reader Blurb

Content warning: A dash of smut and a drop of daddy kink

Blaise was never close with anyone from his house. Whether it be, because of their attitudes or underdeveloped ideologies, but he remained to himself. That is until he was paired with you during a potions lesson in your second year.

Even as a child, he was never one to laugh much, but you were intelligent and funny. The two of you instantly clicked.

After that day, he found himself seeking you out. Whether you were curled up outside under a tree reading or falling asleep during a divination lesson, he’d slip in beside you and happily listen to whatever thought crossed your beautiful mind.

He doesn’t waste his time speaking unless there’s something he actually wants to say, otherwise he’s silent.

With you he’s adoringly attentive; with others, he comes off as blatantly unimpressed.

You’re best friends and share your first kiss at the age of fourteen, but don’t start formally dating until your fifth year.

Lots of cuddling in comfortable silence or Blaise quietly listening to you complain about Professor Snape, while not taking his eyes off of his book.

“He marked down my essay by a whole letter because he claims the herb isn’t recognized by that specific name anymore! What an absolute tosser! Every year I gradually understand why he’s always alone! No one can suffer his company! The funny thing is that I was just starting to feel like he was a decent guy!” You vent, blood boiling just recalling the interaction.

“Y/N?” He exhales from above you, your face currently squished against his chest.

“Hm?” You respond, lifting your head to face him, before suddenly feeling his lips on your own. It was disorienting, and then wholly consuming. But right as you bring a hand up to clutch his jumper, he’s pulling away.

“Don’t talk about other men while you’re straddling me, love.” He replies, turning his attention back to the pages in front of him. Your mouth drops as the butterflies in your stomach do airplane maneuvers.

“Wha- Blaise!” You try to appeal but you can tell by the smirk on his lips that he’s not budging.

“Don’t be a brat; that was all you’re getting.”

Sixth year was when Blaise introduced you to Draco. You had seen the platinum blonde boy over a dozen of times during your years at Hogwarts, but had never actually spoken to him. You were one of the lucky few.

Blaise later informs you that the boy had a fall out with his usual gaggle of idiots and needed to be around more grounded individuals.

“So... you want me to suddenly be best-mates with Draco-fucking-Malfoy? I thought you couldn’t have cared less about him?”

To say you were confused, was a severe understatement.

“He wouldn’t have even gotten in this predicament if he hadn’t spent the majority of his time here, devoted to pissing everyone off.” You huff, collapsing onto Blaise’s assigned bed. He’d snuck you in here many times over the years.

“I know what I said, Y/N. Now I’m saying that I pulled a couple of strings and he’s going to be my roommate.” He drawls out, rolling his eyes at the socked foot playfully prodding his torso.

“It’s not up for discussion.” He states, grabbing ahold of your foot and utilizing it to make room between your legs.

His usually pristine, ironed slacks wrinkling as his knees dug into the duvet underneath you.

“So, in short: All I want to hear from those pretty, little lips of yours is a confirmation that you’ll be a good girl and behave when he gets here.” His hands gripped at your exposed thighs and your skirt, ever so slightly hiked up to reveal more of your soft skin.

Biting your lip to keep in a whimper, your attention switches to the source of a surprised sputter from the door.

“Oh! Um.. Zabini...” The boy’s pale face already becoming red and splotchy from embarrassment.

It took a while for Draco to adjust to his new company. Most likely due to the fact that, for the first time ever, he couldn’t control his peers. Neither of you cared about his status or his daddy’s money. He soon realized that there wasn’t a need to put on an act anymore.

Within a short span of time, he learned to stop bothering other students. Whenever he unnecessarily detoured to pester an underclassman on the way to a lesson, Blaise and yourself would simply keep walking. Ultimately leaving him by himself.

Naturally everyone noticed the drastic change in his demeanor, and while you did get questions from girls in your house asking why Malfoy was suddenly trailing after you and your boyfriend like a lost puppy, the school appreciated the loss of one of it’s primary bullies.

The most to least talkative in the trio: you, Draco and lastly Blaise.

Oldest to youngest: Blaise, you and Draco.

Draco wasn’t accustomed to people being as sarcastically playful with him as you are. Teasing him as much as Blaise would allow, before he pulls you away from the younger boy by the waistband of your skirt.

Riling him up was by far your favorite pastime.

As months went by, you noticed the bonds the boys were forming, even if Draco seemed oblivious to it.

“He’s growing on you.” You say in a sing-song manner after Draco heads off to his next class. You smile when Blaise pauses his quill mid-stroke.

“Don’t you have an assignment you should be completing?” Is all he responds but you don’t let up, poking him under the table with your shoe.

“I think he likes you, though he probably doesn’t even know it yet.” Switching your gaze onto your hand, inspecting your manicure. He’s not looking at you anyway, bracing himself on the table with his forearms and face turned away.

“Do you want to sleep with him?” You ask, crossing your arms and he jolts.

“Merlin, Y/N!”

“What it’s okay! I do too! He has a puppy-dog energy to him.” You respond nonchalantly and Blaise scrunches his face, clearly overwhelmed.

“Wha-“

“I’m admitting it, so that you can admit it and then we can move on to the next step!”

He inhales deeply and sits back in his chair. Clearly taking a second to collect his thoughts. “And what’s the next step?” He asks, one of his perfect brows arching.

“So you know how we’re dating?” You ask and he stares back at you blankly.

“Yes, Y/N. I’m aware that we’re dating.” He replies dryly but you continue.

“Well, I know he likes you. I mean, I have functioning eyes! He’s so reliant on you, it’s really cute! Anyway! I noticed that he likes me too! When I’m around, he’s always looking at me. Like when I make a joke or put my hair up, or if I’m just reading! It’s the same way you look at me.” You excitedly ramble.

“And how do I look at you exactly?” He questions coolly.

“Like you love me. Like, you’re seeing me for who I really am, and you must like what you find because you don’t turn away. If anything, you stare harder.” You say tenderly, daring him to deny it but he doesn’t. He nods his head and brings a hand up to his mouth.

“So what do you want to do?” He finally asks and you smile.

You decide on testing how far Draco would let you treat him as if you both were dating him too.

For Blaise this meant speaking softer and sweeter. Wrapping his arm around the boy’s shoulder when they walked together in the halls.

As for yourself, you made a point of sitting closer to him. Brushing your exposed thigh against his hips or pressing your chest on his arm when reaching for something. You might even act as if you’re removing an eyelash from his cheek or tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

He got the most flustered with you. When you got close he always froze in place, holding his breath nervously as if you were a skittish butterfly.

“Aren’t you tired, dear?” You ask with a faux furrow in your brow, innocently batting your eyelashes.

“Wha- What do you mean?” He replies confused as you sit almost flush against him as he’s seated at the end of Blaise’s bed.

The eldest boy looking up from the book in his lap, legs crossed as he leans back against the headboard. Watching as you drag a hand through Draco’s hair. He’s silent and unmoving when the blonde boy turns to anxiously meet his gaze.

“Don’t you want to touch me, Draco? Aren’t you tired of just looking?” You’re caressing his cheek as you speak and you already know you have him looped around your finger because he already looks so desperate.

“Do you want to touch me, sweetheart?” You ask again, and he nods eagerly causing you to chuckle.

As you straddle him, you look up at your boyfriend. His stare is intense and you smirk. This was going to be fun.

“Draco, dear.” You purr, situating yourself on his lap.

“Hm?” He’s looking at you with such adoration, your smile widens. Lacing a hand into the hair at the base of his neck, you press a kiss on his cheek.

“Let’s see how much we can get away with before Daddy intervenes.”

#draco x blaise #blaise zabini #blaise zabini x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #poly fic #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter blurb #blaise zabini x draco malfoy x reader #blaise x draco x reader #hp imagine #hp blurb

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luckyspacerabbit · 3 years ago

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drell diaspora meta <3

as told by me! a mixed diasporic chindo (chinese-indonesian) :)

preface: bioware failed to flesh out Drell culture and heritage to my satisfaction so I wrote this meta for both my personal reference and because I wanted to represent Thane and Drell as people who suffer from a history that invokes parallels between real world colonization/imperialism, as well as portray his personal conflict with this accurately because it's very painful and I think gets naturally overlooked by people who lack this background!

Contents:

The Family Unit

Food

Music

Customs

Hanar Intervention (honestly read this bc I think it's the most important section!!)

1. The Family Unit

Size: They're small by necessity: as in there is no room on Kahje to support. This is a bit of a complicated topic. Drell families are likely to lose their children to the Compact giving them incentive to have more than one or two but it’s probably very expensive to provide for them. I can see a lot of cultural tension here. There are pressures in either direction. There's a lot of sadness too. It makes every child extremely precious.

Values: Independence is an important quality-- but not to a fault! Because family units can be taken apart at any time, being able to take care of yourself is a survival skill. In addition, spiritedness is a closely held value-- To make up for the loss of large family trees and ability to be in close quarters (due to the constant coming and going of family members) it becomes very important to showcase your passion-- whether to each other or about any matter of things in life. Overall, spiritedness is most important! caring and wanting to improve upon yourself as well as self-discipline and hard work.

A.N: Probably because, as evidenced by Thane’s dialogue, they've come to view what happened on Rakhana as like, self-inflicted or weak of spirit ( :( this has me extremely messed up. The whole situation is based on Colonialist propaganda honestly so this conflict to me is so personal and painful to watch in real-time because you can see it very plainly in Thane and you can tell he carries that generational trauma)

Carrying on: The ability to be vulnerable is not as important as the ability to show that you care, which can come from action or words, but usually, this means vulnerability and passion go hand in hand. Finally, homecoming is very important. Everyone is so scattered all over the galaxy, time together is time that counts. Bonding circles (An old tradition) have become “Bonds,” a colloquial name for annual family gatherings.

Read on Under The Cut <3

2. Food

Drell are born with a full set of teeth but they can’t be that tough yet. There must be specific dishes for each age to celebrate. That means as they age, softer meats-> harder foods are part of a traditional practice to track development! (Age 1 Birthday Food: Beetle Based Dish, so on till age 16/17)

Rakhana Diet: I also think that on Rakhana insects would have been popular! Because it’s an arid world and it would have been a very nutritious and accessible source of protein. It also strikes me that their recipes may have been very paste-based because it’s an easy way to flavor things when food is scarce! Also, paste flavoring like sambal (spicy chili). Other Foods:

Eggs? Eggs. It’s just a lizard thing but also! Really simple and easy to make.

Desert fruit! Water-based fruits that are similar to cantaloupe and citrusy things like calamansi.

On Kahje: Their diet must have to shift, so lucky they’re omnivorous.

Probably fish. Likely the main source of protein there.

This is off topic but I think that eating kelp runs as a joke for Drell on Kahje because of the similarities between their colors and striping. I don’t know what kind of joke. But I wonder if Drell teens will order fried kelp and point at each other like “cannibal”

Sauce…………. Dark sauces…...

You can tell the difference between a Kahje Drell and a Rakhana Drell (If they are still in existence? Most likely but very hard to find) based on their fish opinions

Raw fish consumption is normal on Kahje but Drell are not technically “built” for that diet so they may get sick with overconsumption! It must be well cooked to avoid illness.

3. Music

There's a natural inclination to communicate verbally due to their distinct biology.

Drell anatomy (throat) allows for unique sounds and trills

Highly present in language and utilized in music (On Rhakana there were probably dialects that incorporated certain clicks and trills as part of the “alphabet” just like irl, but I imagine those that can still speak it are very limited and it must be passed down or retaught through preservation efforts)

Rhythmic dance and music to tell stories and legends! Especially of great creatures that transcended into infamy. Like a big old serpent that through storytelling became a mythical dragon type of thing.

Clothing/Robes, loose-fitting and comfortable to work in Arid environments and allow for movement (tight ass clothes not the norm ashdjfk esp for dancing, Thane’s just a career man who thinks he looks good and he lived on Kahje so--)

4. Customs

The Pursuit of Life a.k.a Perah (I made this term up)

It's a cultural value centered around making the most of life through boldness. Seizing the moment because not every Drell gets the opportunity to call their life their own— this is in reference to both the compact and the death of Rakhana. Therefore if you ARE lucky enough to have ownership over your own life, you must not squander it. There are a number of purposeful benefits to Perah, such as:

Leading Drell off of Kahje (avoiding Kepral’s)

Giving Drell an “Adventurous” reputation due to far journeying and mixed work

A lot of Drell are able to form community ties outside of the home due to this norm! Because a lot of them have long and wide and journeys across the galaxy to share with each other and cultural commonality, they have an immediate kinship with each Drell they meet.

Puppetry/Masks

The Drell face is shaped like a mask so it only makes me think there must be culture-specific dances or plays utilizing masks in order to tell traditional stories and celebrate moments of life

There seems to be a lot of reverence and appreciation for the different and diverse, including animals and other species, leading me to believe that there are masks based on different creatures!

5. Hanar Intervention

Loss of Population: Effects

Destruction of the family unit, disjointed/fractured because of the Compact and limited living space on Kahje

Death of Rakhana leaving entire generations and specific regions behind, permanent severing between sects of Drell society

That means the inability to read certain texts as well as languages dying off between generations.

The disappearance of traditions, including many religions

Loss of understanding of Drell language and terminology

A.N: Thane is a rare case with access to high reading material and close ties to “hidden” communities/pockets of people; Most Drell do not know the meaning of Siha due to Hanar assimilating via Enkindlers

Most also do not know about traditional religion! I imagine these pockets must be so small. Thane probably had to work very hard to recover this knowledge which goes to show his complex relationship with his heritage.

It’s likely that there are factions of Drell who attempt to preserve and celebrate their culture despite being uprooted.

Possible rebellions/isolationists who reject the Compact which has mixed reactions by the majority of Drell community, not limited to shunning and disownment (:/ bc these things are sadly complicated)

A.N: Thane comments that it's an honor to fulfill the compact, which naturally implies it's shame to reject it. Let your imagination on the consequences of that rejection sink in.

A misconception is that Drell like to adopt whatever culture they live in but it's more like most of them lack the access to return and reclaim their own roots or have been shamed out of it

#WEEE #that was fun #meta #mass effect #drell #hanar #thane krios #long post

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sonneillonv · 2 years ago

Note

What would happen if Neil got possessed instead of Billy?

Oh man, don't ask me these things as if I'm an authority.

I can only speculate. I think... people project their own failings on others, and the things they're oversensitive, or over-critical, about are the things they struggle with the most. If Neil was so obsessed with Billy being responsible, respectful, and most of all, heterosexual, then these are things Neil felt he had to fight his whole life to be seen as. Billy's behavior is a threat to his self-image and reputation.

Which means that I think, at the core, Neil is weak. He over-projects strength, and he surrounds himself with people he knows he can dominate, works in a field that allows him to bully others (security guard, we find out in Runaway Max). So I think at first, the possession would have made him feel violated, outraged, scared, helpless. Same as Billy.

But then he would have realized how strong it made him. Strong enough to be thrown through a cement wall without a scratch. Strong enough to throw people around like kittens. Strong enough to put all these piece-of-shit middle-schoolers in their place. Strong enough to put Hopper, the guy with actual authority, the guy who's respected and loved, on his knees and break him. Strong enough to devour a whole universe full of people who never gave him what he thought he deserved.

I think Neil would have been eaten alive because deep inside, he wanted what the mindflayer offered. But that's a trap. It doesn't share power, or if it does share power, that spot is taken by Henry already. Wanting it just allows it to unravel your sense of self even faster. Wanting it means you stop fighting it. It would have eaten him, his memories, his hatred and his possessiveness. And it 100% would have used that against Billy and Max. And Billy would have been the one in Max's position, desperately fighting someone he's always been caught between hatred and love for.

I legitimately do not know if he would have insisted Neil could be saved, if he would have tried, if Neil would have wound up in the sauna holding Billy off the ground by his neck, snarling triumphantly at finally being able to take his son apart at the seams. I don't think Neil would have tried to save anyone. I think he would have aggressively tried to flay everyone he thought 'belonged' to him.

I think Billy would have wound up firmly in The Party because they were the only ones who could pull him and Max out of that situation. He and Max probably would have trauma-bonded hard... no more of this 'she's not my sister' business, not when there's a literal monster in the shape of his father trying to turn them both into meat jelly. I think Susan would have been lost, leaving them with nothing but each other. So in some ways, it would have been the better scenario for them.

But I think the aftermath of that trauma would have wrecked Billy, at least for a while. I'm not sure he would have coped with it any better than Susan is. Drinking, drugs, there's no WAY he'd be holding down a job, trying to cope with having everything dumped on him at the exact same time he's fighting for his life against the guy who's the major source of most of his previous trauma. How do you cope with that? Max is young, her mind is still flexible. Billy's nearly an adult. And now all his parents are gone and he's stuck with his sister and I'm gonna make a wild guess that his absolute failure to deal maturely would raise a bunch of red flags at child services.

So the end of this story is probably everyone in the group trying with all their might to keep Billy from self-destructing and taking Max with him. Max drowning in depression as she tries to hold things together, getting more and more enraged with her brother because SHE'S doing the dishes and HE'S smoking weed on the couch. Humiliation at having to accept charity from all her friends and some of their parents who are trying to make sure they don't lose the house, or who are trying to provide them with a home to move into. A trailer. SOMETHING.

I know most of us would like for Eddie or Steve to be the hero here but I think the solution is probably El, because she's the only person who can speak directly to the kid Billy used to be. She could probably get through to him. But it'd be a long, slow trip back to real sanity, back to actually dealing with the world in a productive way.

#Stranger things #Billy Hargrove #max mayfield

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sharyrazade · 2 years ago

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Did anyone else have trouble following (HOTD 1x06)?

What exactly was going on after that timeskip? I mean, it’s a little disorienting, being dropped right in the middle of things, especially with the abrupt change of actors and all the parts were still moving. But I got used to it, I guess. The factions being pretty much baked into the cake by this point helped to some degree though. Anyway, the review:

- I was pretty sure it was Rhaenerya giving birth in the opening scene, but I wasn’t 100% about it until a little bit later. But it is very interesting watching her grow into her role and how well she’s learned to play the game, like when she tries to negotiate a marriage alliance with Alicent’s branch of the family, unlike her descendant, who embodied the when-all-you-have-is-a-hammer mindset

- Again, it took me a little bit to catch on with so many new players, but while the description applies to the vast majority of human beings ever to live, the fact that you had three separate Targaryen boys being born dark-haired and dark-eyed...should have tipped me off pretty quickly that there was some Jaime x Cersei shit going on there

- And speaking of new(ish) families and (semi) consensual cuckoldry: Laenor, my brother in the Seven, your marriage is a political alliance and Rhaenerya is literally your beard. And she’s doing damn near all the work while you decide to name your new son after your dead boyfriend. Of course she’s gonna be a little cross with you!

- After saving Ser Downbad from committing sudoku (Criston’s sword was at his abdomen, that’s what he was doing) a decade ago, my girl Alicent has her hands full, to say the very least. Kids being awful to each other is kind of in the job description and Aegon growing up...to be a spoiled rich kid, even by spoiled rich kid standards, isn’t exactly surprising. And pulling her very best Catelyn Stark routine to save as much of her family as possible, telling Aegon to treat this like his life is at stake (which it is), start taking his duties seriously and stop wanking out the window

- And after all he’s been through, it’s actually nice to get to watch Viserys getting to spend his twilight years as the doting, benevolent familial patriarch he’s always wanted to be. That said, it also makes his see-no-evil-hear-no-evil-speak-no-evil stance on Rhaenerya’s sons make more sense, but definitely increases his wife’s headaches substantially. But knowing this author and source material, alas, this can’t last

- And speaking of...unconventional patriarchs, probably the most interesting change is (especially with that intro to him we got) is seeing Daemon being...well, a dad. And from what we’ve seen a pretty attentive one too. Again, it’s not terribly surprising giving some statements and actions he made before, but it’s interesting because he’s not Chaotic Good/Neutral/Evil, Daemon is pure chaos. He’s like a human tornado, but instead of cars and construction material, you’re never exactly sure whether he’s going to be throwing fire and blood, shit or sage, fatherly wisdom, or even all three at once

- But like I said, this (relatively) peaceful state of affairs can’t last, as bastardry among Westrosi nobles (not unlike real life) is serious fucking business. And if it involves a disputed line of succession? I don’t care what system you have or when it is, times like that become an absolute feeding frenzy

- Since I knew they were pretty intelligent in this universe (just in a different way than humans) and they are bonded to one rider, I had my doubts as to whether it was possible, but suicide-by-dragon, is in fact, possible here

- And as we have seen, things like the (attempted) child murder of Bran or kinslaying here, are on the table to keep these dirty secrets from getting out. I’m sitting there like “bro, you orchestrated the horrible deaths of your brother and father by fire. That’s some (ahem) cold-blooded shit right there. I thought you were cool!”

#house of the dragon #hotd #house of the dragon 1x06 #hotd spoilers #rhaenerya targaryen #laenor x rhaenyra #rhaenyra x harwin #laenor velaryon #alicent hightower #king viserys targaryen #daemon targaryen #laena velaryon #laena x daemon #larys strong #sharyrazde watches

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shadyteacup · 4 years ago

Text

Part two of Partners

Tw: None..only some fluff..

A plethora of muffled noises filled your ears. It felt as though you had been under water for as long as you remember, and had just peeked at the surface. Your eyes were still closed, but you could see a white light above the surface. You push yourself to swim to the edge, towards that light. As you swam closer, the noises became clearer. Louder. It hurt your head. But you had to continue forward. So you pushed yourself to the surface.

Finally opening your eyes, it felt as though you had broken through the surface that was trapping you in a deep slumber. You were no longer under water. The voices became much clearer. You could hear multiple people. Some of whom you recognized.

You took in a deep breath, feeling the crisp air around you.

"Y/N?"

A silky voice said, right next to you.

You peered your eyes open a little more, fighting the sting of the brightness of your surroundings.

You could see a pale ceiling. And smell antiseptic. You were in the hospital.

Looking to your side, you were met with concerned brown orbs.

"Hey.." You smile at him.

All of a sudden, he hugs you. He buries his head in your neck, whispering an almost inaudible, "I almost lost you.."

You froze. You could smell his cologne. It was refreshing. Soft brown hair tickled your face as he stayed like that for a while. You didn't know what to do. You and Dazai have been friends for a really long time, and have hugged before. But this time it felt different. It felt deep and meaningful. You just stayed there, letting the feeling of his warm breath on your neck, his strong arms around your shoulders, and the concerned, timid tone of his voice sink in.

Abruptly pulling back, he stands up straight, facing away from you. Placing his hands in his pockets, he mumbles,

"I'll tell the others."

With that, he was out of the room in an instant.

You were so confused. Did he just hug you? Does he care about you? Did he fear losing you?

And what's this warm feeling? Do you like him?? Well, ofcourse you like him. But does he like you too?

"You're awake!"

Kunikida strides in, followed shortly by Yosano and Ranpo.

"I'm so glad!", Yosano says as she hugs you, kissing your cheek.

You hug her back, smiling at them.

"Hey, guys!"

Ranpo was quietly watching you.

"Hey Ranpo San.. "

He acknowledged you with a nod.

"Is everything ok??", you ask, worried about him.

His green eyes bore into yours.

"I was worried about you. Don't do that again. I missed you."

That was huge coming from him.

"Come here" you open your arms, inviting him for a hug.

You hugged the emerald eyed man child; Yosano forcefully pulling Kunikida along with her to join you guys. You lot bonded over a group hug.

"Y/N San!! Are you OK! I was so worried! I'm so glad you're awake!"

Atsushi rushed into the room, followed by Kyoka and Kenji, hot on his heels.

He and Kenji joined in the hug.The usually conserved Kyoka also jumped into the hug. You kissed their tiny heads, telling them how much you had missed them.

A few moments later, the president walked in, carrying a cup of tea for you. He said that he was glad that you were feeling better. The tea he had gotten had healing qualities, so he pretty much forced it down your throat.

"President, about the case.. What happened?"

The president filled you in.

The girl you two encountered, Sakura Yagami, wasn't the one that was kidnapped. She was an ability user who could mess with minds. She wasn't very experienced, but she had mastered the art of making her opponents see a different face when they saw her, making them believe that she was someone else entirely. Her height and build matched that of the girl that was taken. She used her ability to manipulate your mind, and make you believe that she looked like Aiko, the missing girl.

Sakura had used the help of light and shadows to mask majority of her features. Afterall, the ambush had taken place in a dark, abandoned warehouse, where there were no artificial sources of light. This resulted in half of her features being hidden in the shadows, making it difficult for Dazai, who wasn't affected by her ability, to recognize a different face. Most of the time, Dazai stayed behind Ito and Sakura, and hence never got a chance to properly inspect her facial features.

Meanwhile, Aiko has been kept in some hideout. The ability users will shortly be interviewed, and hopefully, the location of the missing girl will be known.

"I see. So she was the mastermind of the entire fiasco, not Ito."

"Correct."

The president then excused himself, along with Yosano and Ranpo, who had to carry out the interrogation.

Atsushi and Kyoka were forced out by Kunikida, who believed that they would only cause ruckus in here.

"Have you talked to Dazai yet?"

He asked you.

"Yes, and no."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I did get to say hi, but didn't get a chance to say anything more.."

"I see... He was very worried. The most worried, actually."

Oh?

"I'll go get him."

Kunikida left to get Dazai. He didn't return, only sending Dazai to the room.

Dazai walked into the room with a smile, one that didn't reach his eyes.

"Y/N! Don't tell Kunikida, but I stole his glasses "

You giggled.

"You really don't change, do you?"

He grinned boyishly at you.

"Never!"

You hesitate to ask him, but you do anyways.

"Dazai, why were you so worried about me?"

He blinked for a moment, processing what you had asked him, choosing his next words carefully.

"Because you are a valued member of the organization, ofcourse!"

Your heart sank at his words. Maybe you had overthought. Maybe it was just one sided. You had always liked him. He had a certain aura around him that dragged you in. But you were never able to guage whether he liked you back. So you never said anything. You understood him, in a way. The darkness that he tries so hard to hide, is pretty easy to notice for you.

You have been through quite a lot, seen a lot, and have experienced a similar darkness. You used to be a part of that darkness too. But not anymore. Now, you were trying to heal. And so was he. You thought you understood him to a deep level, because you both were going through the same process; the process of healing. But maybe, you were reading a little too much. Maybe, there isn't anything in between the lines. Maybe, he doesn't get you, or maybe you don't get him at all.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason!", there it was. Your own mask. Dazai was amazing at hiding his emotions behind a façade. But so were you.

"Ne, Dazai, what are you going to do with those glasses? Do you have anything planned? I want to join in the prank!"

You say, grinning at him.

He stays silent, observing your face.

"What are you thinking?"

He moves closer to you, seating himself on the chair next to your bed.

"Y/N.. I.."

His heart was thumping in his chest. It was beating so hard, he felt that at any second, it would jump out and start dancing on the floor.

He had seen your expressions just now. It was just for a split second, but you had let your guard down, and a variety of emotions had run through your eyes. He had seen that. He had seen the slight disappointment in your eyes when he had closed himself up from you.

Nobody understood him the way you did. Whenever he was having a bad day, you would always cheer him up. And not always in a traditional way, either. You could read his feelings. He felt like an open book when you were around. He couldn't hide his thoughts from you, even if he tried. You would accurately gauge what he was feeling, and do whatever you deemed would make him feel good. And it always worked. Sometimes, it was a random walk at 3 am, when he would text you telling you that he couldn't sleep.. Sometimes it was some stupid prank that you would devise, roping him in, and relieving him of the pent up stress he was experiencing. At other times, you would randomly show up at his house, carrying cans of crab, or bottles of sake and beer , distracting him from his dark thoughts. He didn't know how you managed to do that, how you always knew that he needed you, and what you needed to do to make him feel better. He really cherished having you in his life.

He had harbored a crush on you for months now. He hadn't said a word about it, fearing that all you felt for him were friendly feelings. He always held himself back, and had to control his urge to shout his feelings for you from the top of some building. He liked you so much, he knew it was love. Lord, you hadn't even started dating yet! Still, he knew he loved you. You are a unique, amazing person, and he couldn't imagine his life without you in it. So when you were hurt today, when you passed out from the pain, he almost lost it. He couldn't think straight. He doesn't even remember what he did afterwards. All he remembers is thinking ,'Please be ok, please be ok ' on repeat. His sole purpose was to get you to safety. When you had finally gained consciousness, he had let all his guards down. He couldn't help the overflow of relief that flooded his body at that moment. So he hugged you.

He thought that maybe this is the right moment to finally tell you how he truly felt. But what if you don't like him back?

No. He had seen your expressions. You could read him easily, but he could read you too. He knew now, for a fact, that you felt the same way. He had seen it on your face. But what if he's wrong?

Well, one must take a chance to know the result.

"I like you, Y/N."

He finally says.

You look at him wide eyed. Then start laughing.

"You're scaring me."

You wipe your tears.

"No, please don't misunderstand... I like you too! Oh my God, I was so worried! I thought you didn't like me back..."

You continued laughing. Dazai sighed in relief, happy to know that his feelings were reciprocated.

"How long have you liked me, Dazai?"

You ask him.

"How long have you liked me, Y/N?"

He countered.

"Ha! Don't turn the question on me! Answer me, first!"

Dazai stuck his tongue out, shaking his head like a child.

"No way. I bet you have been liking me for over a year now. I'm so charming, afterall!"

You gasp at that.

"Don't tell me.... you've been liking me for months now, haven't you!"

"Hah?? I never said that!"

"Oh, but you made it quite clear!"

"How so?!"

"You said 'you must've liked me for a year'!"

Dazai scoffed.

"That doesn't prove anything!"

"It does! You tried to quote a time period greater than yours, to seem superior!" You exclaim, pointing your finger at him.

"It's simple psychology. You should know this by now.", you say smugly, smirking at him.

"You're a terrible person reader!"

"Seriously? 'Person reader'? Improve your vocabulary."

"Haah?! You tell me what it's called, then!"

"It doesn't matter what I say! You suck!" You stick your tongue out this time.

You two are children, I swear.

"I suppose you leave me no other choice."

Dazai smirks, leaning closer to you.

"Oh? And what are you going to do exactly? You lost. Accept it-"

He shut you up with a kiss.

Your face flushes a deep red, but you don't miss the light red that coated his cheeks.

"You're blushing!" , you say.

"That's funny coming from you!"

"I'm not blushing, idiot.. "

Dazai pinches your cheeks.

"Aww.. is my baby embarrassed?"

You push his hand away, annoyed at his antics.

"Oh my, you really are embarrassed! How cute of-"

This time, you shut him up. With a kiss. A slightly more heated one.

He just stares at you with wide eyes, a deep red tint on his face.

You smirk at him, proudly announcing your win.

You two continued bickering, until a nurse had forcefully shoved Dazai out, as he wasn't letting you take rest.

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chicksung · 4 years ago

Text

The Firsts With My Last || Park Jisung

Genre: fluff, lil bit of angst, best friends to lover au

Pairing: childhood best friend!jisung x reader

Word Count: 6.3k

Warning/s: small argument, food

Synopsis: a collection of firsts with Park Jisung

A/N: Aaaaaahhhhh!!! it’s finally here! I cannot express how happy and excited I am for this! I worked so so so hard on this and I hope that you enjoy it! Feedback is welcome! Thank you to the lovely Elle @joh--pping for making the header!

Networks: @nctnetwrite @nct-writers @kpopscape @neoturtles @neoswitchnet

Taglist: @moonbeamsung @lebrookestore @jaeminpeachy @joh--pping @kyuwoyo @nksideblog @ncvltrtchnlgy @vera-liscious @ncteaxhoe @neojaems @ethaeriyeol

First meeting

First grade, a time where your biggest worry was if you would be home in time to watch your favourite cartoon. That was also the age you met Park Jisung. Your teacher had handed out a simple colouring-in to keep the students entertained for the few minutes before the lunch bell rang. You had been peacefully drawing when one of your classmates, Chenle, had tried to grab the blue coloured pencil that was in your grasp. It was part of a pencil set your grandmother had given to you and you held it very dear to your heart, so the fact that one of troublemakers was trying to take it from you, made you severally upset. Despite the discouragements from his friends to leave you alone, you and Chenle continued your intense game of tug-o-war on the pencil until you heard a heart stopping snap. The pencil splintered down the middle, unable to take the pressure anymore. You could only eyeball it in shock, reality finally settling in that Chenle had broken your favourite pencil. The bell rang and you stared at Chenle, scooping up the two halves of the broken pencil into your chubby hands. You were the first one out of the classroom, tears streaming down your face as you grabbed your lunchbox and disappeared into the playground.

You hid behind a tree, attempting to summon your much needed magical abilities to somehow stick the two halves back together. No matter how hard you pressed them into each other, they wouldn’t bond together with an invisible force. At this realisation, you began to sob again, hiding your face into your knees, quiet wails escaping your lips. You continued to cry until you saw a pair of red and blue shoes come into your tear blurred vision from beneath your legs. You looked up and were met with a chubby cheeked child, a child you recognised as one of your classmates and one of Chenle’s friends who had tried to convince him to stop roughhousing with you.

“I’m sorry about your pencil. Chenle can be a bit of a butthead,” The boy gave you an awkward smile before shifting the wood chips and dirt around with the toe of his shoe. “Do you mind if I sit with you?” He asked politely, his eyes big and friendly. As much as you wanted to be alone and definitely did not want to be accompanied by someone who was on friendly terms with the culprit of the state your pencil was in, you couldn't find it in your heart to say no to his friendly gesture. You nodded sadly and he immediately occupied the space next to you. He looked at the broken pieces in your hand and a smile crept to his face.

“There is one good thing about your broken pencil,” He stated, making you snap your head towards him.

“What is there good about this? My favourite pencil is broken because of your dumb friend,” You didn’t mean to snap at him, but you were so overcome with emotions and anger for what had happened, it slipped out. The boy looked at you, a little shocked at the fact you had called his friend dumb, but at the same time, he had called him dumb on multiple occasions.

“Think about it! If you sharpen this side of this one,” He pointed to the more splintered of the two pieces, “you could have two blue pencils,” He said with such innocence and optimism that it was infectious. You looked at the half and smiled. You had never thought about it like that. You were too caught up in the fact that it was broken to focus on anything else.

“You’re right!” You squeaked, a small laugh erupting from you. You turned to the boy once again, an unanswered question lingering in your mind.

“What’s your name?”

The boy smiled again, but this time it wasn’t awkward. “Park Jisung. What’s yours?”

“Y/N.”

First Realisation of Feelings

The 7th grade school dance, where the room is cramped and hot, full of hormonal preteens to early teenagers. Not exactly the place Jisung expected to see you. You had often expressed your dislike for the majority of the grade and you never liked being in overcrowded places, the perfect word to describe the gymnasium that was decorated for the occasion. Yet here you were, standing in the corner, hands behind your back, looking down at your shoes and playing with the hem of your dress. Jisung quickly ditched the conversation he was having with Sungchan and Chenle and made a b-line towards you. You were glad he saw you. You didn’t want to be here, only here by force from both your friends and your parents, your parents saying that you should socialise more outside of school hours and your friends saying it would be fun. However, your friends had made a b-line to the boys they liked from the grade, leaving you to stand there awkwardly until you could no longer stand watching your friend drooling over quite arguably the biggest jerk in the grade. As for your parents’ word, the only thing you could think to tell them is ‘why socialise when I’m most comfortable around the clumsiest boy in the class?’

“Hi,” Jisung said, the same awkward smile on his lips.

“Hi,” You replied. You didn’t need to be a psychic to know that Jisung wasn’t exactly here on his own terms, most likely only here for Chenle (who you had since reconciled with after the incident in first grade)

“You told me you weren’t coming,” He pointed out, trying to get rid of the slight awkwardness in the air. Why was it so awkward? It wasn’t normally like this.

“I wasn’t until I was made to by my friends and my parents,” You explained, shooting a glance to your friends, who were practically at each of their respective male attention giver’s beck and call. Why were they your friends again? “Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?” You brought attention to the sudden rise in the temperature, fanning your neck as you looked around for a possible air source, more so, a possible way out. Jisung nodded. He didn’t feel hot, but the gymnasium was cramped, and there were a lot of warm bodies inside of it, so he didn’t blame you.

“Yeah, let’s go outside. The breeze is really nice out there.”

After checking that the coast was clear of any members of faculty that might force you and Jisung to go back inside the gym, you ran to the gardens, a place that was quite pretty. Right next to the school flowed a river, which connected to the parent pick up area, accessible by bridge. You and Jisung stood side by side, watching your reflections ripple with the current of the water. The moonlight danced prettily with the water, creating a type of reflection that Jisung had only ever seen in movies. The cool summer breeze brushed against his skin, diminishing the sweat on his forehead.

Then he looked at you.

Your hair was lifted off your shoulders by the wind, the moon casting a silvery shadow across your face, fitting neatly across your facial features like a glove, but his breaking point was when you looked at him. It was as if someone had taken all of the stars in the galaxy and placed them one by one in your eyes. You looked so...beautiful. His heart rate increased dramatically and he was sure there was an intense blush that spread from his cheeks to his ears. Did he always feel like this when he saw you? Surely not. His heart had never raced like this before, and he definitely had never felt so speechless. What could this all mean? Could he...like you? “Hello? Earth to Park Jisung?” Your voice cleared the clouds of doubt from his mind as he finally closed his gaping mouth. “Are you okay? Do I need to tell a teacher?” You asked, a slight furrow in your brow appearing out of concern.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Just spaced out for a second.” He looked away in embarrassment, his eyes drifting over his reflection. Oh God, he was blushing. “The view was pretty and I guess started daydreaming.”

“Were you daydreaming about someone?” You asked simply, before a smile broke across your face. “Were you daydreaming about me?” Jisung almost choked on his spit at your words.

“Was not!” Your laughter only picked up in volume, Jisung having to shush you and remind you that you were not supposed to leave the gym.

“I’m only teasing you, I know you wouldn’t daydream about people. You just like to think about video games and food.”

“Hey, I do not! What’s with the Jisung slander?” You laughed. Something about your laugh was addicting, like a song he had just discovered and was unable to stop the lyrics from playing in your head.

It’s been three weeks since the dance and you and Jisung were in the library, studying. Well, if you were to classify copying your science homework as homework because he had completely forgotten about it. You were currently working on your analysis for your Literature class, reading over the assessment outline to make sure you could get the best grade possible. You looked over and Jisung and he looked so relaxed. His round glasses perched comfortably on the bridge of his nose, his eyes scanning your answers before jotting them down onto his own page, his fingers wrapped firmly around his pen, and his lips pushed into a little pout as he concentrated. He looked so laid back, so relaxed despite the fact he had nearly had a heart attack when you told him that the homework was due by your next class, which didn’t give him enough time to do it at home. With your thoughts swimming through your head and so far into your daydream, you hadn’t noticed that his head had picked up and you were now staring (quite awkwardly) at each other.

“Is there something on my face?” Jisung asked, trying desperately to break the awkwardness between you two. You shook your head rapidly, assuring him that his appearance was fine and you had just spaced out. Well, you hadn’t completely lied. His appearance did look fine, and you had spaced out, you had just decided to leave out the reasoning as to why you had spaced out.

Your cheeks burned harshly, like you were sitting in direct sunlight at the beach without any sunscreen. Is this what a developing crush felt like? Surely not. There’s no way you could have a crush on your best friend. That was weird, according to your friends, but then again, these were the same friends that said that you and Jisung were perfect for each other, so you don’t think they are a very credible source.

Was this how crushes develop? Yes. Yes it was

First Confession

Sophomore year of high school. People are calming down from exam week, finally getting the recommended hours of sleep after the countless number of all nighters that were pulled to cram, drinking water instead of the copious amounts of caffeine. The autumn air was starting to set in and the leaves were starting to fall, catching the wind and creating a train for oranges and browns. You and Jisung were walking home from school, your head pounding after the amount of brain power wasted on several test packages that weighed too heavily on your overall grade in your opinion.

“How about we go get ice cream and go to the park? My treat to the both of us working so hard?” You suggested, turning to the equally emotionally drained best friend beside you. At the mention of a delicious sweet treat, his head perked up and he nodded.

“Yes! Anything to stop my head from hurting,” His lips formed the most relieved smile, your pulse increasing at the sight. In an attempt to calm your racing heartbeat, you watched the leaves, long fallen from the huge oak trees that towered over you, crunch underneath your feet, a little bit of stress releasing each time you stepped in them. Jisung seemed to pick up on this, his smile taking on a playfully mischievous role. He raced ahead of you and jumped, his feet landing firmly in a pile of leaves. The dead leaves flew up around him, creating a skirt of sorts around his waist. You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, a stupidly large smile shared between the two of you.

“Come on, let’s get this ice cream before the store closes. We’ll never get there if you keep acting like you’ve never seen leaves before,” You rolled your eyes, continuing down the path, your back now facing Jisung. He jogged to your side, bumping your hip with his when he did.

“You don’t know that.”

“We have literally been friends since we were 5, I think I would know,” Jisung cursed inwardly after taking a second to process what you had said.

“T-That’s not fair and I- hey! Hey! Wait up!”

Walking down a simple path in the park, the bumpy texture of the wafer cone in your hand, and the occasional playful cheers of children and dog passing by was simply relaxing. The simplicity of the noises of everyday life, the perfect natural remedy for an exam induced headache.

You and Jisung came across a beautiful area that overlooked the huge lake in the middle of the park, a popular skating attraction during the winter. There were a few ducks waddling around the water’s edge, a few gliding gracefully along the water and few attempting to ruin a couple’s picnic by stealing their sandwiches. As you sat down on the ground, the crisp breeze whipped lightly across your face, you were relaxed, almost completely forgetting about the exams you had taken only hours earlier.

Jisung was staring at you, he was sure of it. In fact, he’s pretty sure that the elderly couple sitting metres away from the both of you would see it. He followed your gaze when your eyes fell on the most adorable mother duck, being followed by her clumsy ducklings. You liked the one at the back the most, always the most clumsy. You turned to Jisung, a teasing smirk dripping from your lips.

“You see the one at the end?” You pointed to the duckling, whose little webbed foot had caught on a twig, sending it rolling onto its side. Jisung nodded. “That would be you as a duck. The overly clumsy baby of the family,” Jisung’s eyes widened in slight offense at your comment.

“What do you mean? I’m not clumsy!” He tried to defend himself, only gaining a snort from you.

“Right, and I’m the Queen of England,” You said sarcastically, looking back towards the ducks. Between the time you had turned away to tease Jisung and right now, another duck had come back in search of it’s sibling. The duckling looked curiously at the fallen duck, before turning its head and let out high pitched quacks to its mother and signalling her to come back. Jisung watched as the mother duck picked the duckling up by the scruff of the neck and put it back on its feet.

“And if you were a duck, that would be you. Always looking out for the clumsy one,” He commented, watching the family waddle off to a different area of the park. Taking another spoonful of his ice cream (you refused to let him get a cone. With how accident-prone he was, there was only fate for that poor ice cream cone, and it involved Jisung dropping ice cream down his crisp white shirt) before sighing.

“Ducks are cute like you too,” He thought out loud, forgetting that the you in question was sitting right next to him.

“Did you say something?” You asked.

“I-I said ducks are cute, and then I stopped talking!” Real smooth, Park.

“Right…” You said, knowing damn well that isn’t what he said, but you didn’t wish to press further. “My legs are asleep, let’s walk a little more.” You suggested, almost leaping from your spot on the ground. Jisung scrambled to stand up too, his ice cream almost slipping through his fingers.

You walked for what felt like miles, talking about everything under the sun. You hadn’t realised how far you had walked until you were facing the street, with the name of your street written in printed letters on the sign.

“Guess my legs knew it was getting late before I did. I should probably get home before my mom yells at me. See you at school tomorrow, right?” Before you could walk away, you felt a hand on your wrist. Jisung’s hand.

“Wait, I need to tell you something,” Jisung’s voice sounded desperate, like if he didn;t say this now, it would kill him.

“What? Did you leave your jacket at the park again?” You tried to joke, but Jisung’s eyes just pleaded with you.

“Please just listen,” Jisung said, his tone coming out a lot sterner than he had meant to. He exhaled deeply before placing both of his hands in yours, his head swimming with thoughts.

“I like you.” His eyes, his tone, the slight smile on his lips. They all were dripping with sincerity.

“What-”

“I like you. I don’t expect you to accept my feelings but I just really needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while and-”

“I like you too,” You interjected with a smile, squeezing Jisung’s hand.

“Y-You do?” He repeated your words in his head like a broken record, watching as you gave him a confident nod.

“Yes. Now, can I go home now?” Jisung flustered himself and nodded, letting go of your hand and waving as you disappeared down your street. His cheeks were glowing red, surely resembling a firefly. You liked him too? He felt like a giddy schoolboy, a smile plastered on his face. This was quite possibly the best day of his life.

First Date

“No, no. Absolutely not, I refuse,” Jisung screeched as you swung into an empty parking space in the car park of the ice skating rink. You giggled evilly to yourself.

“You said I get to pick the location of our date, and I choose the ice rink,” You reminded him smugly, giving him a sickly sweet smile. You sunk down in his seat, grumbling unheard profanities as he knew you were right. He had given you the power to choose where you two would have a date together, a power he was now regretting giving you.

“Lighten up, will you? One ice skating session isn’t going to kill you,” You rolled your eyes, making your way towards the entrance to the building.

“I seriously doubt it,” He grumbled, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

There weren’t many others on the rink, some small children with their parents, the odd couple or two, but it was quiet. Well, quiet customer wise.

“Don’t let go of me! I’m too young to die!” Jisung squeaked, your arm wrapped in a death grip from the boy.

“Jisung, you’re not gonna die, not on my watch,” You assured him, helping him up as his knees shook like a newborn giraffe. You were able to shake the grip he had on your arm and hold both of his hands before skating backwards very slowly. “You trust me, right?” “More than anything,” He affirmed. You smiled and tugged him along, giving him perfect momentum to stay on his two feet. You swung yourself around so you were now skating besides him, intertwining your fingers together like puzzle pieces. Gliding together, you felt like you were skating in the middle of a snowy escape, a winter wonderland. You felt as if you were skating with the Snow Kingdom’s prince (except if the Snow Prince didn’t know how to skate) and the snow was falling gently around you delicately.

This fantasy ended when your hand was jerked backwards. Your skates hit an oddly slipping part of the ice, causing you to slip over and fall promptly on the ground, finding yourself face to face with the culprit, your clumsy boyfriend.

“Heh, sorry,” He apologised, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. You couldn’t find it in yourself to feel any kind of unamused emotion towards the boy, only bursting into a fit of giggles.

“You’re too darn cute,” you admitted, knees knocking as you got back onto your feet. You extended your hand, offering it to Jisung as assistance to get him back on his feet.

“Do you wanna try again?” It was more of a suggestion than a question, but you still hesitated, afraid of him saying no.

“What are my chances of getting a concussion?” The boy joked, a bright and gummy smile breaking across his face. You stifled a laugh.

“Pretty high when you assess the situation,” You answered in an amused tone. Jisung suddenly pulled you closer and placed his hands on your cheeks. His slender fingers were freezing cold against the rosy tint of your cheeks, but you didn’t seem to mind all that much. You could see him having an inner battle with himself before grinning in victory. He leaned closer to you, placing a peck to the numbed tip of your nose. Your heart fluttered like it had been caught up in a whirlwind of butterfly wings, delicately carrying them to a higher level than before. You swore you were giving Jisung really obvious heart eyes, but from the way he was looking at you, the exchange must’ve been mutual.

Jisung finally pulled himself together, slow realisation sinking in of what he had just done. “S-Sorry,” he apologised softly, his fingers slipping away from your cheek. You caught it, bringing it down to the height of your shoulder and intertwining your fingers with his.

“Don’t be,” you said cooly, cautiously skating towards the exit to the rink. “I’m starving. Let’s go find lunch. You can pick this time,” you smiled cheerily at him. He snuck a glance to you as he untied the laces of his ice skates. There was something about your smile that was so enchanting, sort of subtle, and perfect, and real. He couldn’t help but wonder if you even knew how wonderful your smile could make someone feel. Especially a someone like Jisung, someone who would find elegance and serenity in the tiniest things you do. He cursed his heart for fluttering stupidly fast, not that it heeded his thoughts, only beating harder the more he stared at you.

“Let’s go,” You announced, extending your hand to him. He grabbed it without a second thought. This felt like home to him, with someone who meant the world to him.

First Kiss

“Jisung, this is crazy! My parents will find out about this!” You whisper-yelled at Jisung, reluctantly throwing on your coat and shoes. Jisung smiled like a fool, feeling like a modern day Romeo as he waited on your front porch. You threw the front door open, seeing your boyfriend, absolutely drenched from head to toe with rain. The rain had been falling heavily for half an hour, so you couldn’t help but wonder what inside his mind decided that he would walk to your neighbourhood in the pouring rain just to see you?

“Jisung, it’s two in the morning. Why are you here?” You interrogated once you shut the door.

“I wanted to see you. Is that such a crime?” He countered, a sly smile resting on his pretty lips. You scoffed, playfully pushing him away. Jisung took a few paces back, extending his long fingers to you.

“Huh?” You vocalised your confusion.

“Come dance with me,” He said, waiting patiently. You hesitated for a moment. You feared the fact that your parents would definitely ground you if they found out that you were escapading at ridiculous hours of the night just to be with a boy, but on the other hand, this was Jisung you were talking about. The night, or morning if you were to be technical, wasn’t getting any younger and nor were you. In that moment, you didn’t care if your parents found out about your late night adventures. You grabbed Jisung’s hand and smiled.

“Show me to the dance floor,” You announced confidently.

To the rest of the world, the two of you probably looked like idiots. Running and shoving each other in the rain, willingly. However to the both of you, you were the only two people in the world. The only light to remind that the world was still there were the dim streetlights, illuminating only within its reach before fading back into darkness.

You danced under the streetlamp, your very own spotlight. You risked the chances of a cold, for the feeling of freedom, to be two dumb kids, fooling around at forsaken hours of the night. You had a smile to your ears and your laughter rang out loudly throughout the slumbering neighbourhood. You squealed when he pulled you closer to him by your hips. Your hands instinctively rested on his shoulders, eyes focusing on him, the water droplets that fell from his soaking wet hair and the goofy smile on his lips.

The laughter that the two of you died down, both of you completely infatuated by the other. How pretty they looked with raindrops kissing their skin, how their eyes sparkled when the light hit them at this angle. Jisung bit the inside of his cheek in hesitation. What if he was reading the signs wrong? What if you didn’t want to? He cautiously leaned forward, and you followed suit. Your lips met briefly before Jisung pulled away, scanning your face for any sign of discomfort or disgust. Instead, he was met with your eyes sparkling brightly, a huge smile breaking across your face.

“You kissed me,” You said, slightly astonished at Jisung’s bravery.

“Yeah, I did,” He mumbled, trying to come to terms with the event that just played out in front of him.

“Do it again,” You egged.

“Excuse me?” His eyes blew wide at your comment.

“Kiss me again.”

To the rest of the world, the two of you probably looked like idiots. However to the both of you, you were the only two people in the world. The only two people in your world.

First Time Falling in Love

The stars twinkled brightly in the dark sky above, like silver glitter that had been thrown into the depths of space. You admired the stars, wishing you could fly up there for a second just to dance among them. It was your calming activity before bed, talking to the stars about your day, especially if it wasn’t particularly a good day. The best part about today however, was that you weren’t gazing up into space in your bedroom, instead lying in the grass with the cool breeze on top of a hill that overlooked the city lights, and you weren’t gazing up into space alone, instead in company of your boyfriend, Jisung.

The two of you had spent the last hour and a half stargazing, talking about everything and anything, the big things like school systems, and the little things like the ladybird that had crawled it’s way up a blade of grass before taking flight above you. You were sleepy and ready to go home. You and Jisung were standing, facing each other, giving the sky one more quick glance before you left. When your vision came back down, you met Jisung’s eyes. They were pretty, a dark chocolate brown, the type of brown that when light hits them at just the right angle, they turn into pools of honey. They were entrancing, glittering, beautiful. It seems like he was just as entranced by your gaze as you were his, as the both of you stood in silence. Finally, Jisung mustered up enough courage like the day he asked you out, and cupped your face. His hands pressed flush against your cheeks, feeling the warmth from your blush underneath them. His lips parted and closed again, like he was trying to tell you something but was second guessing himself.

“I think,” Jisung started, trying to collect his thoughts before speaking. “I think I’m in love with you.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” You laughed softly, your eyes flickering from his eyes down to his lips, so full and kissable. Without a second to think, he pulled you closer, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, a kiss full of sweetness and amateur love, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The two of you broke away and smiled. “Shall we go home now?” You asked with lovestruck eyes. He noticed. He smiled.

“Yes, we better,”

You were maybe just a little bit in love with Park Jisung.

First Argument

You can only recount one argument with Jisung.

You sat there at the cafe, looking around nervously for him. The constant checks of your phone and the cafe door every time the bell rang to signify a new customer, you silently hoped it wasn’t true. He wouldn’t do this to you. You refused to believe it. There was no way, right? There was no way Park Jisung had forgotten your date, right?

Wrong.

“Jeno, has anyone ever told you, you suck at MarioKart?” Chenle asked teasingly, pillow colliding with his head, which caused Toad to fly off the edge of the course. Jisung laughed hysterically, tears forming in his eyes as he drove Yoshi to victory. Amongst the commotion going on inside, the doorbell rang. Renjun, who was not participating in his friends’ antics, decided to answer it. Upon seeing you, he was a bit shocked to see you there. You barely showed up there, so to see you standing outside the door, with your coat folded between your arms and a displeased look on your face, took him by surprise.

“Jisung, it’s for you,” Renjun called into the door, abandoning you at the threshold to take over Jisung’s controller.

When your boyfriend saw you, he smiled with a twinkle of confusion in his eye.

“Hey, what are you doing here? We were just playing MarioKart if you-”

“You forgot, didn’t you?” You interrupted bitterly, boring holes in his soul from your gaze alone. Jisung looked at you for a second, trying to comprehend the words that had left your lips moments ago.

“Is it your birthday?” Jisung asked stupidly. Anger flashed in your eyes before you grabbed him by the shoulder of his t-shirt and tugged him out of the dorm. With the door now acting as a barrier between the argument and the fun his friends were having, you could now speak freely.

“3pm, Culture Cafe. Does this mean anything to you?” You interrogated, your tone bitter and upset, a lethal combination. Jisung’s eyebrows furrowed in thought, wracking his brains to try and make connections between the two.

“Our date, Jisung! Our fucking date!” You yelled at him, growing bored of watching him try and remember. “We planned this three days ago, how can you not remember?” Your voice softened in disbelief. “It was just this one thing, but instead I come here and find you playing video games with your friends.” The more you spoke, the more tears blurred your vision.

Jisung swore he heard his heart break when he saw a fat tear roll down your cheek. He had caused those tears, over just how forgetful he really is.

“If there was a more sincere way of saying sorry, I would say it. I can’t think of the words to-” Jisung was cut off by your sobs. He immediately panicked, grasping your shoulders, feeling like a kicked puppy. “No, no, no, baby don’t cry. I promise I’ll-”

“I can’t be here any longer. Just give me a few days,” you used those words as your salutations of farewell, turning on your heel and walking away from him. You silently screamed at yourself for getting so upset over a stupid date, but this wasn’t like Jisung. He was so adamant about not forgetting the important things, so why would he forget this?

It had been five days since the confrontation with Jisung, and you had not spoken to him since. You left him on read with every text message, and deleted every voicemail he left you. You acknowledged you may be acting a bit brashly, but you wanted him to feel the same forgotten feeling that sat in the bottom of your stomach when he left alone at that cafe.

You wanted Jisung to apologise. You just didn’t expect him to apologise the way he did.

Your doorbell rang repetitively, clearly trying to divide your attention from your comfort show. You reluctantly stood up from your comfy spot on the couch, and walked towards the door. Upon opening it, you saw a boy with dark dishevelled hair with a cake in hand. The cake was messily decorated and seemed a bit squashed, but you could still tell it was supposed to be a heart shape.

“Is this your way of apologising?” You asked him monotonously, your eyes still on the cake. Jisung nodded. His eyes seemed puffy.

“I don’t mean to ruin the apology, but why does the cake look a bit…”

“Squished?” Jisung finished, a sad smile playing at his lips. “Chenle, the stupid ass, sat on the box before I left. All my hard work, now flattened,” He gave a half hearted chuckle before silencing himself.

“Look, I am really, really sorry. I was stressing, and the boys thought it would be a good idea if I spent time out of my room and play some games with them to stop moping around, and I didn’t realise how fast the time went and I forgot about our date and then I felt horrible and I-” He rambled on, an embarrassed blush colouring his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He stopped when he heard you giggle, a soft, almost whimsical sound. You took the cake box from him and smiled.

“You put all of this work in, just for an apology?” You asked, a soft smile subconsciously creeping across your face.

“You weren’t answering your phone, so I got desperate,” Jisung admitted, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck at your reaction. You stepped forward to kiss his cheek, his skin warm against your lips.

“So, am I forgiven?” He asked nervously, feeling cold sweat dribble down the back of his neck.

“Depends. Are you gonna share this cake with me?” You countered, stepping aside to invite him in.

“Who did you bribe to allow you in the kitchen by yourself?”

“Hey!”

First Dance

“Hurry up, we’re going to miss the sunset,” Jisung tugged you up the hill, sunlight casting over his face the higher he hiked up the mountain. You let out a tired laugh as you allowed him to drag you up the mountain. Once you reached the top, you finally understood why he wanted to show you this place. The view was spectacular. The sunset gave the landscape an orange hue to it, even the ocean sparkled like magnificent glitter. The orange specks glowed like millions of fireflies, creating a picture perfect landscape, one that belonged within the walls of a world famous museum.

“This is stunning,” You sighed in awe, the dusk lighting flicking its rays into your irises. Jisung nodded firmly, pride bubbling in his chest at knowing he picked the perfect place.

“Baby?” He asked, hiding his shyness as best he could.

“Yeah?” You answered, eyes breaking away from the beautiful atmosphere to him. He held his hand out, suggesting something.

“Dance with me?” He asked politely, a pink tint colouring the tips of his ears. You giggled lightly.

“Dancing is meaningless without music,” You informed, warm breeze whipping past the exposed parts of your skin. Jisung whipped out his phone, briefly tapped on the screen and waited before a soft and calming song played from the speakers. He slipped it into his back pocket, quickly taking your left hand in his right, his left hand coming down to rest on your waist and steadily rocking you to the melody. Your head rested against his chest, inhaling his warm scent. He smelt of fresh cotton sheets and something else that can only be described as the sweetest fruit of the summer.

The moment felt like a scene out of a fairytale, a nonsensical world that only manifested in the creative young minds of children, however the way the gentle breeze kissed your cheek and ruffled your hair, the last of the sun’s rays pressed a warm glow to your skin, it felt too real to be make believe.

Jisung twirled you around on the spot, a giggle escaping your lips as you fell gracefully against his chest. As you spun around to face him again, the look in his eyes could only be truly explained with one word; ‘Lovestruck’, like his whole world revolved around you. You were his moon, his stars, his world. You might as well have been his whole solar system, dammit. He pressed a soft chaste kiss your lips, pulling away and leaving only centimeters between the both of you.

“I love you,” Jisung’s face lit up like the fireflies that played in the valley beneath you. You cracked a giddy smile, lacing your fingers with him.

“I love you too,” You requited, realising that the song you were originally dancing to had faded out some time ago, only dancing along to the beat of each other’s heart. He laughed at this discovery, holding you closer and hearing the faint drum of your thumping heart. He hummed to himself as thoughts of you swam through his head, but only one stuck out to him. It was less of a thought and more like an idea, a wish, a dream, a promise.

You are my first love, and I intend for you to be my last

263 notes · View notes

crystal-moon-101 · 4 years ago

Photo

Managed to do another redesign with rewrite notes, this time my second favourite character in Ben 10, Azmuth The First Thinker. And just like Ben, he's canon self is such a mess that I wish to fix in my own way. The other Galvans in this picture are his family, with his father from the movie "Destroy All Aliens", his nephews mentioned by DJW, and their mother who is Azmuth's twin sister. So let me get into the notes and rewrite ideas of mine!

-Retaliator-

Yes, I am aware that this is most likely not his name, but I could not be bothered to make up my own at this point, and I also find it funny to have a Galvan dad called this, so I'm sticking with it. So Retaliator is the father of both Azmuth and Divi, a very humble and calm old galvan, who has seen a lot through his years, now retired and mostly just trying to keep the family together through small things.

Retaliator has the rare gene of having aqua/turquoise eyes, a recessive trait in galvans, similar to human with the red hair gene.

Retaliator looks younger than he should be, and that's because he is, in a way. You see, right before Azmuth vanished to start working on the watch, Retaliator fell ill to an disease with no known cure, and this caused the family to...kind of break down. A lot had happen up to this point (Things that will be noted throughout this), and none of them wanted things to end like this. So Azmuth did something he know he shouldn't have, as such a thing takes so much time and resource, and generally frowned upon, and ended up creating a new young clone body for his father's brains to be transferred too. By the time Retaliator woke up from surgery, his son was already gone, off in hiding. It this was event that really made Retaliator realize he may not have been the best father for a long time...

While he is retired now, Retaliator use to do work based around energy stuff.

Since he's family's back together, he likes to host game or movie nights, or even little dinners and get togethers.

He adores his grandsons, and loves to share stories from his past to them, and he's one of the few people they calm down around.

He will admit that he did...go a bit wild when he thought Azmuth died, fighting Ben in the Galvanic Mechamorph suit, but him and Ben have since made up, and the old galvan likes talking to the young lad often.

He has most defiantly embarrassed both of his kids by showing off baby photos of them.

He met his wife through work, like most galvans, with her being a much higher up worker. Surprisingly, despite their statuses, it was his wife who asked him out first, having found him very charming.

Retaliator can never thank Ben enough for convincing his son to come home, and despite their bickering, he enjoys seeing Azmuth's bond with Ben, as the two have a way of balancing each other out.

While he may be in a younger body, his mind is certainly still that of an old galvan, and can often act like his body is older than it really is due to the mental age of his brain.

-Azmuth-

Ahhhh, dear old Azmuth, how I love your character concept, and yet get so frustrated with your actual canon self...There is a lot I have changed in terms of his placement and behavior on the show, and while I can't note all of them down there, the major theme behind them is that he is not a complete jerk in them. Don't get me wrong, Azmuth would still have flaws and issues with his off-standing nature, but he would act in a way that feels more natural, showing his growth and change while mentoring Ben. He genuinely wants to help and is a good person, it's just...he still has a lot to work through. In terms of his slight redesign, I'll like to mention that if you look closely, his outfit is a mixture of his first original outside, crossed with his UAF outfit.

I did mention that I couldn't note all changes of him in series plots, since most boil down to be him being nicer and more realistic, but I will note one change because it's big enough to mention. For the Diagon/Forever Knight Arc, Azmuth did not create Ascalon, because I while I get he's smart and created things like the Omnitrix, I don't think he should be such a big source of dangerous artifacts in the series so often, especially ones that cause trouble. So instead, Ascalon was a weapon crafted in Ledgerdomain, to help fight Diagon who orientated there, and at the time had been trying to conquer earth, and Zenith leaving Azmuth happened because of miscommunication and issues between them instead.

That being said, Azmuth does get involved in the Ultimate Alien Diagon arc when Ben himself calls Azmuth over, needing his help knowing he can better understand Ascalon, and eventually entrusted Azmuth and the Galvans to keep it and the trapped Diagon safe.

Azmuth and his sister had a very rebellious phase as teenagers/young adults, this being the age that Azmuth said he was a lot like Ben, though admittedly, Azmuth was slightly more of an ass than Ben ever was. They were going through a tough time, and Azmuth reacted negatively too it all. Funnily enough, the one thing that seems to make him doo a 180 degrees in personality was his massive swooning crush over Zenith.

He won't ever admit out loud, but he does find Ben's trait of nicknaming his aliens kind of funny...

He shares a mentoring role towards Ben with Grandpa Max and Tetrax, with Max handling the more emotional and human side of Ben's problems, Tetrax handling the physical training and teachings, and Azmuth handling the more logical steps and hard truth Ben needs to hear. He's one of the few people to give Ben the smack of reality he needs from time to time.

That being said, Ben is also one of the few people able to handle Azmuth right back, and give him needed talkings to when the man is losing himself to a bad habit.

Mostly due to the fact that Tennysons seem to have a habit of making people very close to them like family, E.g with Ben seeing Kevin and Rook like brother figures at times, there seems to be subtle hints between Azmuth and Ben that there might be parent and child like moments between them, though both would deny it if brought up.

It doesn't help that Azmuth ends up taking it upon himself on making sure Ben is healthy and happy, based on scans from the Omnitrix he reads daily. Of course, he'll just say he doesn't want the boy he entrusted his watch with to die in a stupid way, but people close to either of them know that Azmuth really does care deep down.

He has said both "I'm too old for this" and "I'm too young for this" many times.

Azmuth has admitted that he's nervous around the Omnitrix, and doesn't like putting it on. He's not good at handling the idea of becoming something he's not...

The Malware arc for Azmuth was...a lot more complicated than canon. Azmuth really did try to fix Malware, but for some reason he couldn't, and it scared him that one, this might be the first problem he can't find a solution too, and second, he just came back from hiding and had been wanting to make changes in his life, so to fail and hurt someone already? He didn't know what to think. It didn't help when Malware started refusing his help and ended up endangering the lives of others, including galvans and Azmuth's own family. And despite it all, Azmuth kept trying over and over again to let him help Malware, but the villain always refused, until Azmuth eventually had to accept that he couldn't do anything. When Malware was finally killed, Azmuth went quiet for a good while, and needed time to recover from his mistake.

Due to some past issues, Azmuth mostly refers to his father by his real name, and only calls him dad or father during emotional or quiet moments.

Whenever they're hanging out, Ben likes to bring him and Azmuth cricket smoothies to drink together.

Despite how they seem to bicker often, Myaxx and him play off each other rather well, able to dry wit each other every day.

Azmuth and Albedo's relationship is also very complicated. Before Azmuth returned, Albedo was an outstanding Galvan and protégé, being praised every single day. This, unfortunately, made Albedo develop a prideful nature and his close minded views on the galaxy, as he rarely was ever put down or critiqued. His ego also got a bit of a boost when the great Azmuth took notice of him, and made him his assistant, and while he loved it at first, some issues started to arise when Azmuth wasn't like the other Galvans who praised Albedo to no end. That isn't to say Azmuth never complimented him and liked his work, but he was an honest man who knew no one was perfect, and especially wasn't going to worship someone, knowing what kind of ego that could make in someone. It doesn't help that Albedo just can't understand what Azmuth sees in Ben, and how the two bond, despite Ben's young careless nature, and being human. It ends up making Albedo want a lot more from Azmuth, the man he looks up too, and when he's denied that he eventually turns his back on the First Thinker. Azmuth can only hope that being able to turn into other aliens, and being stuck as human, will teach Albedo that Galvans, including himself, aren't what make the galaxy function.

Azmuth is typically one of the must unfazed people you'll ever meet.

Given most Galvans have an issue of seeing themselves as the top race, Azmuth is kind of fond of Blukic and Driba for being very open and helpful to outsiders, and was even the one to suggest them to join the Plumbers.

Zenith and Azmuth too meet up again eventually, and while they don't get back together, they do make amends.

Azmuth was fairly small for a Galvan for a long time, until he finally hit his growth spurt late into his teen years, something his sister use to tease him over.

Greymatter's DNA mostly comes from Azmuth, meaning Ben actually looks like a Azmuth when he was young, his family having made comments about Ben being his "Clone".

-Divi-

Here we have the twin sister of Azmuth, Divi. A dry wit, no nonsense, sarcastic and feisty single mother of her three chaotic sons. Unlike Azmuth's father and nephews, she was something I had to completely make up from the spot, since Azmuth was said to have nephews, that meant he had to have a sibling, so it was fun to create someone with an interesting dynamic with Azmuth. She is, after all, one of the few people to exhibit some of those petty family squabbles out of him. So I hope you enjoy her and her sons.

As mentioned before, Azmuth and her went through rebellious phases after some downfall in their family life, with Divi jumping around jobs and never settling for one, and even dating another Galvan that neither Azmuth or Retaliator approved off. When Azmuth first left Galvan Prime to go into hiding, Divi and her boyfriend had still been dating. However, when he finally came home, he found the boyfriend to be gone, and Divi now a single mother to three sons. Azmuth never got a clear story what happened to the boyfriend, but he knows that the break up was nasty, and that the boyfriend isn't on Galvan Prime anymore.

Sometime after Divi had her children, she eventually settled for a job in the nursery/incubation centre on Galvan Prime, looking after eggs and newly hatched tadpoles before they go home with their parents.

Divi is quite a blunt and honest woman, who has no time for dragging things on, and while she may sound harsh, she ends up just wanting the best for people. In fact her open nature of speech is how she gets people to listen and see reason.

Her and Azmuth had a...bit of a dysfunctional relationship growing up. Azmuth was actually a slow learning when he was young, and Divi had a habit of picking on him. They did eventually mallow out, until tragedy struck their family and they entered their rebel phases, and the bickering and arguing come from both sides. They have made up since Azmuth returned, but the two have their squabbles here and there, but they're mostly just playful banter or family habits.

Her and Myaxx get along quite well, and the two like hanging out with each other.

She's also fond of Ben since meeting him, and the two like chatting whenever he plays with her sons, he's even babysat for her a few times.

She has no interest in dating again anytime soon, and is proud to be a single mother.

She's the one who points out Azmuth and Ben's family like roles to each other often, mostly due to the fact that she understands what a paternal feeling is like, and because she's blunt about it.

She got her wisdom feet first out of her and Azmuth growing up.

While Azmuth was off in hiding, Divi reconnected with his father when looking after to him after surgery. So, unlike Azmuth, she mostly just calls him father and dad.

-Trapez, Cieven & Aegls-

The three mischievous nephews, sons and grandsons of the family. Left to right, Trapez, Cieven & Aegls, who are the triplets of Divi. The three are like glue, and are often playing or up to little tricks, creating chaos around Galvan Prime. While they mostly look the same and are all tricksters, they do have personality differences. Trapez is the best when it comes to emotions and the phycology behind it, something most Galvans struggle with, and can come across as the kindest of the three. Cieven has a lot of traits from Divi and Azmuth, being fairly intelligent and wanting to be a lot like his uncle someday, though does have some of their sarcastic nature as well. Aegls is the most energetic of the three, hype up often and quick with crafting and thinking of ideas. When you combine all three together, you get a force of endless chaos.

Their mother has been honest to them about who their father is, and why he isn't around, but the three have grown up fine without him, and will forever be grateful for the work their mother put into caring for them.

They were born while Azmuth was away, and so have been building up hype about their missing uncle for most of their lives, enough so that when Azmuth did come back, they all tackled hugged him while he was still understanding the idea that he was now in fact an uncle.

They love Ben and the Omnitrix, roping Ben into some of their pranks and shenanigans, and while Ben mostly tries to stare them into the right direction, he can't help himself half the time and joins in on the chaos, much to Azmuth and Divi's dismay.

They do become a part of my Ben 10 Next Gen Series, given Galvans take forever to age, and will finally be young tweens when the Next Gen takes place.

The three each have different dream jobs for the future. Trapez wants to be a psychiatrist or doctor, Cieven wants to be an inventor, and Aegls was to deal with energy based matters like his grandfather once did.

Never give these kids sugar or coffee, it will end badly.

The three...had a bad encounter with Malware during his rampage, and for a while were scared around Galvanic Mechamorphs...They get over it eventually, but Malware does haunt them for a long while.

They once picked up some colourful language from Azmuth and Myaxx when overhearing them once. You can imagine how Divi took that.

-The First Thinker Family-

The traumatic event that struck the family was in fact the death of Azmuth and Divi's mother, who was killed by someone who was after Galvan Tech. The family fell apart after that, with Retaliator falling into a deep depression and being distant from his kids, and Azmuth and Divi going wild in their teen/young adult years to distract themselves from the grief. They've all come together now and have been taking the proper sets to honor her memory, and become a family again.

While no one has outright said it, Ben has kind of become part of this little family in a few ways, and after a while Azmuth stops being survived when the boy shows up for family dinners or game nights.

They all live on Galvan Prime, though Retaliator is known to take trips here and there around the galaxy, wanting to see more of it during his retirement.

On the outside, many Galvans treat the family as there wise people, who have sage advice. And while that isn't wrong, once you get to know them they're a very chaotic family...

#Hope you enjoy what I've done with Azmuth's character and his family #I just really want to get across how I think he should have gone #Ben 10 #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 alien force #Azmuth #Ben 10 Azmuth #Ben 10 OCs #Ben 10 Destroy All Aliens #My art #Ben 10 Rewrite #ben 10 redesign

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everythingthemoontouches · 3 years ago

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Hiii Jahn!🌙 I’m just a new follower. I discovered you while searching for D9 asks. I was amazed by your in-depth explanation on each placements. 🤍 I’d like to send in my D1 & D9 charts also for future spouse reading to understand more about it.Thank you so much!!🤍 Please take your time. I’ll patiently wait. 💕 Hoping you’ll have a lovely day/night! 🌹

Hello there

This, my love has been a longtime coming. First off I'm gonna introduce you to an intuitive read and then present it in a more formal, bulleted manner. You seem to ha e chosen quite a challenging path in this lifetime. Props to you for bravery. And a hug + some tea to help you brave it 💕 your life could be a beautiful movie on love, healing, growth, spirituality and personal power.

Future BAE seems to be stable, practical reliable with service being his love language. He is down to grow together, and help you walk in your power.

Taurus rising.

Scorpio 7th house. + Pluto + moon.

Wow. Lots of shadow work involved when it comes to close personal relationships. You need to turn that critical eye inwards.

Untill you work at managing or integrating your inner child issues, any partners you end up with will continue to trigger you. At its best, this is someone who helps you work through your feelings. Breakdown. Confront reality. Breakdown and rebuild yourself stringer than ever. A hades and persephone kind of love. Lots of sexual allure. Strength, protectiveness, passion, push and pull, makeup sex? Specially since the ruler of the 7th house (Mars) is in the 5th house. You're not the kinda person who'd be happy to marry just for stability. Passion and mutual attraction, love is a must.

Mars and rahu. Service. Over exerting for those you love. Days spent in bed. Service kink. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.

You're definitely attracted to people who help you better your place in the world. They have to have a little bit of ' I wanna do good / change the world in them'. A friendly leader kinda figure. Disciplined.

Your darakarka Mars is retrograde. Controlling. Dominant. Future BAE is definitely gonna overthink themselves into a worry when it comes to dating and wooing. Or they could think that only their way is the right / best way to do soemthing. Poor lil baby( I say baby, but as a Virgo Mars they're probably the person who takes charge, plans, overanalyzes things has a set way of doing things.) this could be someone who is an advocate for universal free education, teaches children for free or some such. Could second guess themselves when it comes to taking action.

Mars Rahu conjunction: sub kink. They'd want a lot of adulation. Could be from a different culture from you or have studied in a very different environment.

I think your fs gets better at dealing with overthinking after you guys tie the knot. They learn to be more at peace with themself, letting their intuition guide them instead of focusing too hard on trying to do the logical thing. Okay with being messy. May like to act and arrange things behind the scenes. Imagine coming home tired to find that they've already called the restaurant, arranged for your favorite food to be dropped off, warmed, alid out on the table. Gives me the vibes of a puppeteer(katputli - a rajasthani folk dance)pulling the strings. You can't see them, but the show goes on.

From being ficusssed on accumulating wealth your focus goes towards doing things that boost your sense of Self confidence. You could also grow more tactful as you learnt to seek out harmony. You probably become more direct and assertive as a result the peopep you attract are more easy going / Libra like.

I'm seeing a house for a wedding present? Or moving into your spouse's ancestral home. They could also come from a matrilineal lineage.

Your household could be supported by one or both of you working in tax, insurance, financial industries. There could also be soemthing related to life insurance.

Pluto and Saturn in the 7th is a tad concerning. There's a very heavy sense of some kind of karmic duty. Saturn is exalted in Libra.

Way too controlling. Narcissism. Moon Mars mother. Karmic ties. Moon 8th house.

U must learn to stand up for yourself.

If you're meant to have any babies in this lifetime, they'd probably visit you in a dream or a psychic trance before they come down to earth. Call it mothers intuition. This is just a gut feeling wrt your moon in 8th house in Scorpio in the D9. I say this because the moon rules the 4th house of home, and children are an important part of the house if you're a mom. The 4th house is also the home/ heartland what you'd protect.

You suppress your emotions. Emerges as a volcano. But a cold one. U turn to ice and grow aloof.

Out of body experiences

You need to learn to be more dominant and combative. I'd suggest watching the teal Swans video on creating a zero sum game in relationships. Strengthened by Aries ascendant in d 9. This life u gotta learn to fight for yourself, and not sit quietly because people attacked u or kept u under their thumb when u were younger by a strict dad.

OK, now let's look at the placements and aspects

D1 lagna (ascendant) VS D9 lagna

You go from comfort stability minded to taking more risks and initiative. Self Confidence increases. Assert your needs better.

Vargottama Moon

The moon is quite dominant as it does not change signs between d1 and D9. You're super cooperative and hate to disappoint people. I'd suggest reading up more on Anuradha Nakshatra.

Moon - Pluto - 7th house

Could indicate karmic ties or past life connections to FS. You work through a lot of your own inner insecurities, self doubt, lack mindset related issues in close romantic relationships. There could be some mother wound related issues. You can only love as deeply as you allow yourself to love yourself. In order to attract people who inspire positive growth in you, you must first sit with your shadow, examine why people trigger you, and make peace with yourself or, perhaps your mom?

Mars Rahu - sextile moon

Mars and Rahu are both impulsive action oriented Planets. Them sextile your Pluto and moon could lead you to feel quite triggered and attacked by the slightest hint of advice or suggestion from someone else. Sex with the wrong people can really mess with you. In a better manifestation good sex has you feeling liek you can change the world and also that you're super safe and secure.

Venus combust - 10th house

You need to feel appreciated for your uniqueness. Ego battles could arise and get in the way of finding, expressing love.

Saturn- Ketu Pisces

The ruler of your 7th Nakshatra this is someone who loses themself to community service, could do too much for the wrong cause. Money could come in from fish farming. Seduments or other aquatic culture.

Anuradha 7th house

This is a Nakshatra that focuses on achieving success by working with a group. Your fs is collaborative and good at managing people. Someone who shares success. And is hence likely to go far ahead in life. Major success may come later in life.

Mars 7th house

Expect healthy amount of frank, direct communication. Some arguments with FS. But there's also protectiveness, concern, and the will to do the best by someone. Mars and moon aspects indicate a healthy sex life. They're probably enamored by you. You in turn would find them super sexy.

7th Nakshatra lord and Ketu

Your fs and relation with FS is a highly spiritual one. You could both be looking for a soulful connection. There is love, there us duty there is a need to help each other value time, focus on the future. They could have been a strict disciplinarian figure Ina past life. You both probably have a knack to look down at your phone just in time tos ee an email / message alert from them? Perhaps you two run or help/volunteer at an institution for the mentally challenged.

7th house relation to pieces

OK, so this is where we have a lot going on. Mars opposes saturn. And is placed with Rahu. Mars here feels restrained. Your fs could feel blocked in their creative gifts. In the sense that all they want to do is focus on it, create, post, gain fame but saturn and Ketu try to restrict their creative time. They could be perfectionists. Having to redo things. Since Rahu is also in virgo there's a focus on creating things with the hands and fine tuning every single detail. Directed towards you, this is someone who is always encouraging you while trying to micromanage a lot of details because they think they're being helpful. This is sosmrhtinf you two could have in common so

Mars Darakarka: they teach u to fight for you. Opinionated. Honest. Perfectionist. Service before self. Hardworking. Have integrity. Very active mind.

Mars conjunct Rahu-venus D9 creativity

The 5th house rules creativity and with your venus in the 9th house in D9 your fs is someone who encourages u to be more creative and follow or take up a course to be better at your hobbies. It's like full creative freedom to be you and do you.

D9 Exalted Saturn

Justice. Duty. Not very affectionate but they make sure you have everything you need. Balanced approach. Someone thoughtful. They're fair in a fight.

Libra, venus ruled 7th house

Beauty, peace and harmony in thr relationship. You're not gonna feel like you're being taken for grated. They will treat you to nice things and probably have a schedule for dates and other such romantic leisure activities.

Jupiter rules 9th, in 2nd house

Philosophy. Art. Culture. Museums. Travel coudk be a key focus in your married life. This is something you two bond over. Could also strike God fortune when u do travel or go on pilgrimages. Luck and money via foreign sources.

Rahu in aquarius

Social media influence or you get better at making friends just make sure that they're not provoking you into taking uncalcukated risks or actions that are wya too bizarre. Could denote some kind of breakthrough with technology, a love for a high end gadget driven spaces. An interest in Photography. Any couples pictures posts would be well received. Like you're the couple that looks exotic in their photos. Radiant. Aloof, intellectual, stimulating and even more appealing together.

Jupiter Taurus in 2nd house of D9

Debilitated Jupiter 9th house- religious issues - venus 9th house - conversion?

You may have struggled with religious ideologies being forced on you, or the one you were born into didn't quite feel right. Your fs may follow a different religion or show you that being religious does not mean you feel bad about some of your lifestyle choices.

Pisces Mars d9: he is either tactful and charming or a bit manipulative. You may feel like you prefer to act behind the scenes. It may be a little hard to be recognized for the things you do untill you get really really angry.

D9 Cancer 4th house: the home is a serious source of pride. Beautiful interiors and you'd be quite guarded about who you invite over. The best meals. Soothing interiors.

Pilgrimage within the 1st year of becoming a mom ( Jupiter's aspect on the 9th house)

Venus in Sagittarius D9: future BAE is gonna love his freedom. He could be a workaholic.

Alrighty, that's all I've got today. I hope this helps. I wish you the best on your healing and integration journey

#Shadow work #Mars saturn Pluto 7th house #Future spouse astrology #Future spouse reading #D1 and D9 analysis #Navamsa analysis

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years ago

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thoughts on Bela///Donna?

What a lovely can of worms you've placed in my inbox, dear nonnie. I cannot wait to open it and lose followers (regardless of what I actually say).

Since this is, uh, a subject of some debate among RE8 fans, I will be inputting my thoughts on the idea of the ship (and the possible controversy), as opposed to doing HCs or something for it (which I recognize might be what you were asking for, despite the excessive /s).

This is all based on my playthroughs of the game, as well as what I've managed to double check on the fandom/wiki for it. I know that a lot of people who read fanfic for the game haven't actually played it, likely having been lured in by Tall Vampire Milf, and so I hope that some people will be open to a reminder of, like, canon vs fanon? I've mentioned in a previous post that there's a lot of details for RE8 that are not made clear, and I feel the need to reiterate that in this post. Capcom left a lot of stuff up to people's imaginations, or kind of just hinted at in game or in concept art.

But more importantly, regardless of what game we're talking about, regardless of the conclusion I come to (and the one you come to) at the end of this post, I want to say that I absolutely understand the need/desire to have your own perspective/take on the characters from the game, as well as their dynamics. If a ship makes you uncomfortable because you see the characters as being family members, it's totally okay. Block the ship tag, or filter it out when you look through fandom stuff, don't follow people who post for it, etc, etc.

If you think of characters as being family-family (like, not just "we got married and are now a family" but, like, "we're siblings/parent and child") and still ship them? uh. sorry, bruv, maybe think of hitting that unfollow button. No, seriously, hit that unfollow button. This blog is anti-incest, thank you very much.

The last thing I'll say before putting it under a read-more (for both length and major RE8 spoilers) is that I recognize that I might have missed something, either in game or developers talking about things on social media, and so if you read through this and go "god, J, you're such a dumbass for forgetting *critical piece of media*" or even just "okay but have you seen *small but meaningful piece of media*?" please. Just. Please. Tell me. Link me to that shit. I WANT to know if I'm wrong. I've literally avoided talking about this for as long as I could in order to TRY and make sure I have all the context I need.

With that said, let's examine what context we are given for Alcina Dimitrescu, Bela Dimitrescu, Donna Beneviento, and their relations to each other. I will be leaving my personal thoughts on Bela///Donna at the very end of this, as somewhat of a conclusion, somewhat of just a "hey, this is what you technically asked me about".

Firstly, let me begin by explaining what I consider to be the 3 tiers of "canon"

In-Game/Direct: The highest, truest tier, the definitive canon. This is everything that takes place in game, excluding certain hallucination scenes (ex: Mia was not really in House Beneviento, but we can infer some things from what Donna made Ethan hallucinate about). Things either happen, or are directly stated by characters. There's some wiggle room for dialogue, as characters can lie, but overall we, as the audience, assume we are being told the truth. At the very least, games usually eventually make it clear when a character has been dishonest. Examples of Direct Canon include the following: Ethan is infected with the mold, Lady Dimitrescu drinks blood, Heisenberg wears sunglasses, Mother Miranda can shapeshift.

Concept Art/Developer's Notes/Indirect: Mid-tier and debatable, the "we think, but we're not sure" of canon. Resident Evil: Village contains lots of concept art that the players can browse through, all of which include notes from the developers about the game, characters, environments, and story. Sometimes the notes make something "direct", but oftentimes they do not specify whether the listed idea is still canon or if it was removed during development. This tier also includes information that is implied/can be inferred from tier 1 information, but is not directly stated. Examples of Indirect Canon include the following: Donna's mother died by suicide, Moreau was going to have his lover fused to his back, Duke was originally a fifth lord, Heisenberg was going to have a twin. As you can see, not all of the concept art ideas made it into the final version of the game, so it can be hard when some information seems like it might still be true (such as the matter of Donna's parents).

Fanon/"False": Sometimes collective ideas in a fandom become so widespread that people start interpreting them as actual canon. Sometimes it gets hard to remember what's just obscure lore and what's fanon. When we get a piece of fiction as overall vague as a lot of Resident Evil: Village is, there's bound to be some confusion over time. That's one of the main reasons I waited to talk about Bela////Donna until after I had recently replayed relevant sections of the game, as I wanted to remind myself of what we're actually told. Examples of False Canon are difficult to pinpoint, but might include things like: Hufflepuffs are good at finding things? The Avengers got along for awhile and all had their own rooms in the tower? There's a number scale for the danger level of ghosts in Danny Phantom?

For this post, I will be limiting the majority of my notes to the first two levels of canon, and will do my best to mark them as such. Now... let us... begin.

Alcina Dimitrescu:

Born no later than 1914, Alcina Dimitrescu was 44 years old when she was granted the Cadou by Mother Miranda. (1st Tier: Canon. Source: A note in the castle basement from a servant is dated 1958, and mentions both Alcina and her children. Secondly, Miranda's experiment notes state that Alcina was the 181st subject, and was given the Cadou at age 44. By doing math, we can then determine the earliest Alcina could have been born.)

Alcina refers to the other Lords as her family once without any disdain (when Ethan first arrives at the castle and is caught, Alcina says "you've escaped my little brother"). In a private journal (located near where she threw the infamous vanity) she insults the other Lords, and expresses anger that she is "treated like a sister to them". She argues with Heisenberg without any hesitation, and seems honest in her hatred of him (per Maggie Robertson's wunderbar performance). (1st Tier/2nd Tier: Canon with a sprinkle of interpretation for the last line)

Alcina openly refers to Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela as her daughters, and wrote in her experiment journal that she felt instantly connected to them (as mother and daughters). (1st Tier: Canon).

Bela Dimitrescu:

Likely born in the 1930's or 1940's, in order to be an adult by 1958 (the first dated appearance of the Dimitrescu daughters). (2nd Tier: Based on inference)

Dialogue shows that all three of the daughters do love their mother, and reinforces the bond Alcina's journal mentions. (1st Tier: Canon)

We are not given any information about how Bela feels about the other Lords, or even what she knows about them. Once can assume that she shares the ideas of her mother, either because Alcina tells her things directly, or because Bela (who is eager to please her mother) picks up on them over time. (2nd Tier: Based on inference)

Donna Beneviento:

No idea when she was born. If you've read one of my recent posts, then you know that it's almost entirely a matter of 2nd and 3rd tier canon.

Of the four lords, Donna seems to have the most story within the 2nd tier, and has very, very little in the 1st tier. Duke says she's somewhat isolated, and that her "playmates" never leave the house. Miranda's notes state that Donna is mentally ill, and the gardener's diary states/implies (bit of both) that Donna has severe social anxiety. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly canon)

Supposedly, her parents committed suicide while she was still a child. This is indicated in concept art/the attached developer's notes. However, the only part that's also directly stated in game is that her parents (specifically her father) died while she was young. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly canon)

While Donna only has one voice line in the game (and it's sad), Angie talks a fair bit. Angie seems to disapprove of the other Lords, or at the very least enjoys mocking them, as well as enjoys watching them fight with each other. As Angie is connected to Donna, and Donna has some level of control over her, one can assume that the two have similar (if not the same) opinions. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly Canon)

Donna was adopted by Mother Miranda as an adult. It's unclear exactly how old Donna was, or what exactly Miranda did as her "mother", just that Donna was excited about it. (1st Tier: Canon)

Other Relevant Information:

Heisenberg refers to the other Lords as his siblings a minimum of 1 time. Similarly to Alcina, however, he openly insults them and seems to hate them. He just, you know, hates Mother Miranda the most. (1st Tier: Canon)

Mother Miranda does not actually give a shit about the four Lords, intended for them to die before the ceremony, and has been manipulating them for her own gain this entire time. Her notes and dialogue make it clear that she only cares about getting Eva back. Somehow mother of the year and worst mother ever. At the same time. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly Canon)

It's unclear who treats Alcina "like a sister" to the other Lords. Were there cut lines of dialogue that cemented the idea of them being a "family"? Did Miranda call them a "family" as part of pretending she cared about them? I've done my best to dig around, but there's very little in game that treats them as a family of any sort.

As each Lord ruled their own section of the region, they don't have any mentions of interacting with each other outside of meetings with Mother Miranda. None of the notes for any Lord (and their relevant experiments) mention what the others are doing. In game, their environments are very separate, very well divided, though this is likely as much for gameplay as it is for story.

Conclusion:

I do not not believe there is enough in game evidence to suggest that Alcina and Donna consider themselves to be siblings. There's the possibility for a large age gap, Alcina was a fair bit older than Donna when she met Miranda, Donna is a social recluse whose closest bonds were with dead blood relatives and dolls, Alcina openly dislikes (if not hates) the other Lords, they seemingly lived very separate and distanced lives, and Mother Miranda does not enforce the idea of "family". Furthermore, the sheer contrast between how Alcina interacts with/speaks of the other Lords compared to how she interacts with/speaks of her daughters says a lot about her feelings. Even if Heisenberg takes the brunt of her anger, Alcina never once says anything remotely positive about anyone other than Miranda and her daughters.

As Alcina/Bela and Donna are not blood-relatives, the definition of what would count as "incest" does vary depending on who you ask. Personally, I do count non-blood relations as potentially incestuous. For example: Alcina "dating" one of her daughters would be incest, regardless of the fact that she's a mutated human and her daughters are weird swarms of flies.

Now, I do understand how popular the idea of the four Lords being a real, chaotic but still close family is. And as I mentioned above, it's totally valid to not like the Bela///Donna ship, whether it's because you think they're family or some other reason. I don't personally see them that way, even in my definitely-not-canon stories.

Do I personally ship Bela///Donna? Nope. Have I liked art for the ship? Admittedly yes, even if I thought some of it was, like, maiden x Bela because Donna didn't have her veil and I'm a DUMBASS who doesn't always remember to read tags. Would I ever write for it? Yeah, probably, assuming I didn't miss anything in game/that I don't eventually change my mind.

#*incredibly deep sigh*#*incoherent screaming*#it's 6 in the morning #i spent too long doing research #again feel free to send me links if you think I missed something #what do I even tag this as?#asks #anonymous #meta shit #i'm procrastinating on posting this because of anxiety #I'm worried 2 specific followers are going to unfollow me #and possibly one mutual #somebody just kill me already

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stillebesat · 4 years ago

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Meeting Virgil (5x1) -First Time

December Drabbles Day 16 Sanders Shorts: Remy Sanders Sides: Virgil Blurb: A Special Delivery Prequel. -Five times Remy tried to give Virgil a child and the one time he succeeded. Inspiration: @book-of-charlie asked: What did Virgil mean by "the last 5 times?" Fic Type: STORK!AU, Winged!Remy Fic Warnings: Bad Parenting implications, Injury, Hitting Taglist in Reblog.

The baby girl stirred in Remy’s arms just as the bright lights of good old NYC came into view. “Shh. Shh, little one.” He soothed, brushing her tiny cheek with a single finger, leaving the faintest of traces of dark green dust behind that would ensure that she would drift back into whatever dreams a newborn could have. “We’re almost there.”

It had been a long night of flying for the both of them, though Remy had been doing all the work with his wings, having flown over three major storm cells in his cross country journey from West Coast to East.

You couldn’t argue with the Parent Line though.

Remy glanced to the brightly glowing purple ribbon of light he’d chosen to follow out of the half dozen that had been presented to him when he’d taken the baby girl from the hot car she’d purposely been left in and tilted his wings, adjusting his flight path to take him deeper into the city.

Always choose the brightest. That was what he’d been told to do when multiple ribbons appeared in his vision. Not that any of the choices were bad per se, but the brighter the colored ribbon, the more easily the parents could integrate the child into their lives and that was what was needed. A smooth transition.

Far smoother than most of the others. Remy let out a low whistle, wings fluttering as his weaving through the city led him to one of the skyscrapers that housed the richer millionaire type of people. “Well look who lucked out.” He mumbled, pushing his sunglasses onto his head as he landed gracefully on a balcony halfway up the south side.

A richy. That was...different. Usually the fools were too obsessed over making money and buying their next fancy jet or island to want to deal with children, especially newborns. It just didn’t...fit.

Remy frowned, adjusting the baby in his arms, his wings curling around them to block out the wind so she wouldn’t get cold as he double checked that the purple ribbon was leading him inside.

It was.

“Huh.” The word left his lips involuntarily as he moved to the sliding glass door, the latch unlocking at his touch so he could slip inside the darkened room. Maybe she wasn’t going to the millionaire but to their maid or butler instead. That would make far more sens--

WHAM.

Remy staggered as something cold and definitely made of heavy metal hit the side of his face. His sunglasses flew off, landing somewhere to his left as he whirled to the source, wing raising in time to block the frying pan swinging again for his head. “WATCH THE BABY!” He screeched at his unknown assailant as he desperately tried to blink the stars from his eyes.

Geez. And he’d thought seeing stars was a myth.

The shadowy figure froze. “Lights.” A man said in a low voice.

Remy hissed, ducking his aching head as the room flooded with light, blinding him. His wings automatically folded in over him to protect his poor eyes, but also so he could check on the baby girl.

If this idiot had harmed her---

But no. The tightness in his chest eased to see her still sleeping soundly. Good. The dust had helped to keep her asleep despite the noise.

He looked up, wings pulling back as he straightened to glare at the man in a black hoodie with dark eyeshadow under his eyes like a freaking raccoon standing before him with a frying pan held in his hands. “Geez Rapunzel. You’re lucky you didn’t hurt her!”

The man bared his teeth, a hiss coming from his lips, though his grey storm colored eyes anxiously checked the bundle in Remy’s arms. “What sort of idiot brings a baby to a break-in?” He demanded.

Remy scoffed, taking a slow step backwards to get out of range of the ‘weapon,’ holding his charge protectively. “Gurl! Me? Break in--out of the two of us--�� He gestured with one wing to his brown leather jacket and jeans, wondering why no one else had come to investigate the commotion yet. “Which of us looks more like a robber? Cus it certainly ain’t me, Sugarbee.”

The man glanced down to his clothes and smirked before he surged forward, pressing the edge of the frying pan against Remy’s throat before he could blink. “I’m the one who lives here, Flynn Rider.” He growled, stormy eyes glittering. “I can dress however the blazes I want and no freaking glowing green-eyed Angel is going to tell me how to dress.”

Angel?

Remy froze, swallowing as the cold metal pressed against his throat. Impossible. Adults shouldn’t be able to-- “You can see my wings?” He asked carefully, ignoring the comment about his eyes. He already knew people were offset by the metallic quality they held, but it came with being a S.T.O.R.K. along with the wings.

“Well…yah?” The man frowned, grey eyes flicking to them, the baby and then back to Remy himself. “I mean you’re no Mothman, that’s for sure, they're more polite.”

No Mothman? The man spoke like he’d met one. That wasn’t--they didn’t exist! It shou--who was this guy?! His wings spread out, puffing up. “But that’s---you shouldn’t!”

The man raised his eyebrows, taking a step back. “Why shouldn’t I be able to see them? They’re rather hard to miss.” He gestured to the wings with his makeshift weapon. “All white and huge.”

“Because you’re not---” Remy cut off, abruptly realizing where exactly the purple ribbon in the room led. “Oh Jiminy Crickets.” He breathed as he made the connection. “You are.” It still didn’t explain how his wings were visible to this guy, but--

The man tensed, fingers going white on the handle. “I’m what?”

Remy relaxed, wings snapping shut. It was unusual, yes, but there were no other ribbons drifting through the apartment. Meaning that the Emo Nightmare before him was the only person here. A single father. Unusual, but not uncommon. “You ever hear of a S.T.O.R.K?” He asked, moving a step closer, brushing the sleeping baby girl’s cheek with a finger.

“The regular bird, or the legends about how babies--” The man inhaled sharply, going pale as the frying pan slipped from his fingers to clatter to the floor.

Remy smirked. Looked like Rapunzel could piece the puzzle together on his own. “Still wondering why I’m here in your apartment with a baby?”

If anything the soon-to-be Father got paler, stumbling back a step. “I can’t!” His voice cracked.

Yah, Remy had heard similar exclamations with other deliveries he’d made. “Of course you can.” He said, carefully holding the little girl out to him. He wouldn’t be here if the young man wouldn’t be a good Dad. “You already have a Father’s protective instinct down.”

If he didn’t end up with half his face black and blue in the morning, Remy would be very surprised. “You’ll be fine.”

“But she’s a tiny baby! What if I hurt--no.” The young man violently shook his head, vaulting over the back of the black couch to put a blockade between him and Remy, crossing his arms in front of him as a feeble blockade. “No. No, I can’t take her! I’m not a good dad. I won’t be--I can’t!”

Denial too was to be expected. It isn’t always easy to comprehend that you’re suddenly a parent. Though no new Dad had reacted quite like this before. “You’ll be fine.” Remy soothed. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. I don’t make mistakes.” No S.T.O.R.K. did. “Here.” Again he held her out. “Just hold her and you’ll see.”

The familial bond could only be made once the parents, or in this case, parent held the child in his arms. Not before. But once he did. Flynn Rider here would be fine. He’d be a great Dad.

Edgelord shuddered, closing his eyes as he turned away, arms crossed tightly against his chest. “No. Please. No. I can’t. I can’t. I CAN’T! She deserves better. Please.”

Please.

The purple ribbon fizzled out, vanishing before Remy’s eyes only for a bright pink ribbon to suddenly flash into view, leading out and away from the apartment.

What the what?! Remy pulled the child close to his chest, rocking her as she stirred, whimpering in her sleep. The ribbon had just--that had never happened before! EVER. Once a S.T.O.R.K. chose a ribbon, then the child would go to that family. No question. And now--suddenly--Remy swallowed, slowly shaking his head, his wings half spreading, fluttering in his confusion.

He didn’t get it. But if the man felt that strongly, so strongly to change the ribbon’s color--

”Alright. Hey. Hey. Gurl, it’s alright. You don’t have to say yes.” It was unusual. Actually, all of this was just plain weird. No one ever refused a S.T.O.R.K. once they were chosen. “I can take her to another.”

The man refused to turn around. “Then do it.” He choked out. “Go.”

Remy frowned, but didn’t argue, scooping up his sunglasses as he moved to the open balcony door. He needed to get the baby girl to this family of this new glowing pink parent line before the sun rose.

Still, he paused on the threshold, looking over his shoulder to the man in black. “I do stand by what I said though.” He slipped outside, spreading his wings. “You will make a great Dad.” He called as he took a running leap, jumping off the balcony to soar up into the night sky, following the new ribbon’s trail northeast towards Boston.

Remy set his jaw, holding the babe close to his chest as he climbed. He just needed to find the right child to prove it.

To Be Continued Second Time

#Meeting Virgil #STORK AU #December Drabbles #stillebesat #Sanders Sides #Remy #Virgil #Sleep #Anxiety #Winged!Remy #bad parenting implications tw #hitting tw #injury tw #December Day 16

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everything-laito · 4 years ago

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the FBI agent looking at my computer must be so incredibly concerned. Here’s Laito and Cordelia analysis, Part II

Hiya, Corn here! This is Part II of this analysis series! Part one’s here!

Not getting into the trauma part of it yet. Just explaining abusive power dynamics and how incestuous relationships work. As well as Stockholm syndrome. Lovely! Lovely combo! Fuck!!!

Same trigger warnings as last time still apply!

As always, rant under the cuuuuut!

Ok, from last time, we’ve established the elements that were set in place for Cordelia to do this to Laito, when Laito’s trauma began, and the possible fact that he was groomed as a child for sexual exploitation. Wow. Yay. Amazing. This is so gross!!! Thanks, I hate it!!!! I know I usually cary these topics with just an informational tone but I just can’t with this ;lskfjklsajf But I’m here typing this, you’re here reading this, so let’s just get on with the grossness!

Section 3: Legal Definitions of Incest and Power Dynamics

Now we’re gonna get into the flesh of the problem, and what we know happened. From last time, and common DL knowledge, Laito was coerced into having sex with Cordelia. I say coerced, rather than forced, because it’s not like Laito seemed to resist it. He seems to “willingly” give Cordelia that. Is dubious consent, consent? Oh fuck no, and dubious or coerced consent shouldn’t even count in here considering it’s straight up incest. Any type of incest, most especially between a parent and a child, is not considered consensual, even if it “technically is.” That’s how it’s handled in a court of law, at least in America (where I’m from and reside in), and I do agree with that morally as well. A “romantic” and sexual relationship between a parent (or adult family member; aunt, grandfather, etc) and a child (is just gross) preys upon the power dynamic between them. This isn’t any consensual BDSM power dynamic (obviously), or a constructive power dynamic in the workplace; it’s just a power dynamic already instilled into the relationship where it is taken advantage of. That’s not just fucked up incest, that’s an example of a toxic relationship from the get go. Also, there’s a power dynamic usually between a parent and child, but that doesn’t mean it’s always toxic. It just needs to be done responsibly, which good parents (or any adult in power) know how to maneuver around it and not take advantage of it for manipulation etc.

In healthy relationships, you both start on equal ground. It usually never works out if you don’t see the other as an equal, whether you have a predisposed power dynamic at the beginning or not. I’m talking any relationship; family relationships, friendships, romantic, sexual, etc. Although you older folks might know about BDSM and how there’s a “power dynamic” instilled in the relationship, a chosen and consensual “power dynamic” still involves both parties seeing the other one as an equal––intrinsically. It’s just very different than a predisposed power dynamic. That even goes with friendship too! Or any kind of healthy, nontoxic social interaction! Taken directly from Psychology Today, “Shared power creates happy individuals and satisfying interactions.” People need to be on equal ground in order to have a healthy relationship. Which,,,, we know does not happen with Cordelia and Laito (and Laito and Yui for that matter, but that’s during another part of this series). An article I saw during the research of this explains further about how power dynamics can be constructive. This focuses more on the workplace, but it applies to this because it’s looking at the other person as another person (an equal) but uses that predisposed power for encouragement, empowerment, and constructiveness (like a good parent or adult role model would do). I hope this makes sense!

Basically Cordelia is abusing her power in order to do all this to Laito. That’s why grooming would make a lot of sense in this as well, because we know it’s definitely not the first time Cordelia has taken advantage of a power imbalance to her own selfish benefit. That’s why incest isn’t really explained with the same science as pedophilia. I forget if I’ve mentioned it before, but one way pedophilia can occur in a person if their brain was originally biologically wired in a way that sees children as sexual objects. With incest, it could also work like that as well, but it is mainly power abuse, like most sexual exploitation, harassment, assault, etc is.

Section 4: Incest (I’d make a sweet home Alabama joke but that’s low hanging fruit)

Ok so now that we’ve gone over the legality of incest, and how power dynamics can be taken advantage of, we’re gonna look into the type of incest (yes apparently there are types) that Cordelia and Laito fits into. Also if this already wasn’t clear or anything, hi incest and pedophilia etc are forms of abuse, there is no justifying it at all. It’s abuse, no matter what’s said. I know these are fictional characters but I sometimes see Ayato x Cordelia and Laito x Cordelia etc posts and I kinda just wanna commit heinous crimes whenever I see that. Just the idea of that absolutely sickens me (on top of the abuse shown in DL already). Anyways, after all of that out of the way, let’s go into this.

Since Laito is biologically 17, I’d say that he’s considered as a child (teenager) by demon world standards. We don’t know his age when Cordelia first physically exploited him, but we do know that his same “teenage” sprite is used during the flashbacks. Since his trauma fits so well with the aftermath definition of parent/child incest, I’m just gonna give y’all information on that. This is also called “child incestuous abuse,” which is also a form of child sexual abuse.

I learned an interesting factoid researching this, and that is in Japan, the most commonly believed incestuous relationship was between mothers and sons. In the West, we think of fathers/daughters. In Japan, the media covers more on mother/son incestuous acts; while statistically, more father/daughter incestuous acts are taken place. Just something interesting(?) I found, and probably why DL chose that for storytelling too.

In this Wikipedia article, taken from a scientific paper (I’d take it directly from the source but you need an account to get in and I think you need to pay for it), it says this:

A study of victims of father–daughter incest in the 1970s showed that there were "common features" within families before the occurrence of incest: estrangement between the mother and the daughter, extreme paternal dominance, and reassignment of some of the mother's traditional major family responsibility to the daughter.

Sure, this talks about father/daughter incestuous relationships, but if we take this and reverse most of the roles, it shows Laito’s situation to a T:

Estrangement between Karlheinz and Laito

Extreme maternal dominance (aka Cordelia being very abusive/manipulative)

Reassignment of some of the parental responsibility to Laito (there’s many examples of “big bro Laito,” and Ayato and Kanato considers that they used Laito as a “sacrifice”––as a “shield” for the both of them. Sure this isn’t explicit parental responsibility shown through Laito but I’d say he acts more like a family member to Ayato and Kanato too)

Section 5: Stockholm syndrome? With parental figures?

Laito had some interesting situations occur during this whole thing with Cordelia. One of the most infamous scenes from the game (that’s also illustrated in the HDB manga) is a flashback Laito has where he’s locked up, forced to see Cordelia and Richter have sex. He’s appalled by the fact at first, but then attempts to convince himself that he’s into it. However, I won’t get into the effects until the next part.

I didn’t find much about Stockholm syndrome being in this specific case with incest and kidnapping a child etc. When you look up Stockholm syndrome related to parents you get quite the sexist “article” that definitely mocks the whole Stockholm syndrome thing and makes fun of guys being into Glee and such,,,, so that wasn’t a very helpful article. However, I’m just gonna mish mash and put a lot of concepts that we’ve learned together. But first, a look into Stockholm syndrome.

Stockholm syndrome occurs when an abuse victim develops empathy or even intimate feelings for their abuser or captor. This happens because any bit of kindness the abuser enacts towards their victim is taken so positively, that the victim “forgets” all the negative actions, and focuses on the positive ones. This isn’t some sort of “oh ya gotta think positive!” kind of thing, it’s how abusers get away with their bullshit and how someone can be so trapped in a relationship with them. It’s also called traumatic bonding or victim brainwashing (source). This doesn’t always happen with people who are held hostage, like in Stockholm syndrome’s name origin.

A parent’s influence can be a strong one. Doesn’t even have to be related to by blood. But a figure that is supposed to be nurturing—whether they are or not—still has power over the “child.” He definitely went through Stockholm Syndrome himself with Cordelia, considering the grooming and the “love”/hate relationship he has with Cordelia. I did some more digging, and apparently Stockholm Syndrome can still occur more commonly with sexually abused victims. Which we all know he is. With the possible grooming, on top of the power abuse and sexual abuse, creates an incredibly toxic concoction. Here we go. The (rotten) cherry on top. Directly from my HDB notes, here’s a snippet from his Maniac Prologue:

Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all. ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

(from my notes:) Basically Laito convinces himself to be a “cuckhold.” It’s definitely implied how he just wants approval from Cordelia; this is how this abuse prolongs.

(Also, if I ever said that Laito was locked up by Cordelia, my bad; it was Karlheinz who gave that order. I’m unsure where I ever said this, but I feel like I said it before, so I’m gonna clarify that right now too, oops! My memory hath failed me.)

Cordelia’s praise effects Laito in such a visceral way that he tries so hard to cope with the trauma in her favor. It’s incredibly messed up. But that’s the defining factor in this. From this, I do believe Laito has Stockholm syndrome on top of all of his issues.

I think I’m gonna end it here for now. Didn’t expect to be this long, oops. Stay tuned for next time, where I’m gonna go over Laito’s trauma and how he’s been effected by it. Thanks for reading, FBI agent! And oh, you as well, dear reader!

If you’ve read this far holy fuck I commend you -Corn

#analysis #Laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #raito sakamaki #sakamaki raito #Cordelia sakamaki #sakamaki cordelia #diabolik lovers #dialovers #dialover #dl #corn pops off once again

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