#he didnt get to process it he didnt get to grieve he didnt get to attend a funeral

[coffee-scrub]

Kazuma’s soul

[animefreaksince2001]

Nothing, just thinking about Xie Lian and his relationship with grief

[hiero-green]

so how was The Search For Spock..did uh you at least enjoy the funny robes

There was one shot where Leonard Nimoys ass was nearly hanging out of the robe (I mean like an INCH of fabric saving his modesty) and I had to control myself not to take a photo of it. So yes :)

[julesblackthorns]

so once again jeremiah and belly had the best kiss of the season...... i'm giggling

[deadwizardsoci]

i bet the "till was completely fine with everything ivan did and reciprocates his feelings fully, he was just surprised when he was kissed which is why he reacted the way he did" alnst fans clutched their pearls watching karma (if those fans have any media literacy like at all)

i absolutely love my miscommunication tropes. delicious.

i saw someone say that till started to love-admire mizi because they were friends and had a good bond together while, in contrast, his bond with ivan had always been somewhat of a rollercoaster, and i 100% agree with that. ivans inability of expressing his feelings in a healthy way and tills obvious rebellious nature aswell as impulsivity resulted in useless and meaningless fights. then, all of a sudden they were all buddy buddy and hanging out like friends do. it was all obviously incredibly confusing for till, seeing as he bases and diminishes his feelings on someone from what their general relationship looks like (like we see him doing with mizi). obviously, he wouldn't know how to classify his and ivans bond, because as i said some days there was affection, some days there wasnt. because of ivans lack of social awareness, there were some obviously uncomfortable elements in their time together aswell, even if they werent being hostile with one another at the given moment.

this in no way goes to say ivan is "the bad one". all of his issues, aswell as tills, result from a lack of understanding of basic human emotions and needs. having grown up as literal pets for a species that is nowhere close to relating to their issues (and even if they were, unwilling to get all touchy and vulnerable with them and solely treating them as nothing more than what they see them as— entertainment), they'd certainly have trouble dealing with it when their complex emotions inevitably surface. they live and grow with no validation of their feelings, no instructions, nothing, therefore, how could we blame either one for how their relationship turned out?

i personally think till did reciprocate ivans love, maybe even as fiercely as him, but while he tried showing it and, as seen in karma, quite literally pushed his love down till's throat, till decided to keep the distance because he couldn't understand it, didn't know how to deal with it. this of course also doesn't mean he was fine with being kissed. he still didnt know what his feelings for ivan looked like (he had no time to even process them as they'd been so complicated for so long, and he obviously avoids being vulnerable, even within himself), he was in an extremely sensitive place, grieving mizi and on top of it all was the natural panic and fret of his fight or flight to stay alive in such a situation, where death is looking you straight in the eye.

perhaps it was hard to realise seeing as the music and his lyrics kept going, but till's exhaustion (a natural grieving response) overcame him and he eventually gives up. he knows he could die. he knows he will die. but he is simply too exhausted to continue.

ivan notices, and goes over to him not because he sees an opportunity to get revenge, but to lower his own score so till can win either way. he sacrifices himself for his sake. he goes over and forcefully kisses him, even as till pulls away, he keeps going, making the audience think he wants to hurt him. he goes as far as putting his hands on his neck to give the impression he's being strangled aswell, and in the end, his sacrifice is worth. he's not doing it because he wants to, he's doing it so till can win because he loves him.

also would like to say, for the other side of the fandom thats like "ivan is a monster! he made till uncomfortable and wanted to hurt him because he was rejected!", NO BUDDY. ivan's hands are shaking as he goes on to grab him, he's even pressing on the sides of his neck, not forwardly blocking his airway, and even if you missed all of that, HE QUITE LITERALLY GOES ON TO STARE AT THE SCORE AS HE DOES IT. he braces himself to be shot and PULLS AWAY FROM THE KISS AS TO NOT HURT TILL ASWELL. he lets go the very moment blood spills from his mouth, at peace with the thought that till survives. and yeah, obviously till is grabbing at his own neck after 😭 while not fatal, the discomfort was still there, and mixed with the previous panic, it was much more intense.

then, gazing down at ivans body, he understands what his intention truly was.

in the next round, till avenges ivan by trying his best to beat luka. we can see this from his physical desperation, both in body language and expression

he is also on his mind CONSTANTLY. he is grieving a love he didn't even realise he had until it was too late. he quite literally hallucinates luka as ivan the whole time, finally understanding how he loved him.

wild that i have to make this post. its so clear. everything is SO clear. if you paid slightly more attention you could tell so too 😭😭😭

[whentheresnojustagirl]

possession is legit my favorite season anyways

WUS REACTION TO MORROS DEATH 😞😞😭

Morro spent the entirety of the season screaming at Wu “I HATE YOU YOU FAILED ME YOU MADE ME THINK I WAS THE GREEN NINJA YOU DID THIS TO ME ILL KILL YOU ILL KILL YOU ALL”, possessed his NEPHEW so Lloyd was under and ungodly amount of psychological pain n stress, and was like,,, a huge menace

AND YET WU STILL

TRIED

TO

SAVE

HIM

like!!

he was legit begging Morro to take his hand and come with him 💔💔 “emo son no don’t kys I love you :(“

MORROS LITERALLY HIS SON IT KILLS ME MAN TJAYS HIS BOY!! HIS BOY WHO FOUND UIM, WHO HE TRAINED, I know Wu believed he himself failed Morro way before he came back and said it to his face!! Wu blamed himself everyday I know he did he missed his SON so much he feels so horrible “I told him too much. It was so much for a child to bear, how could I have done that to him? It’s all my fault, Morro my Morro how I wish I could apologize” LIKE MAN 😭😭😭😭😭

Wu SCREAMED when Morro died!! He was calmer when his BROTHER GARMADON was getting sucked into the cursed realm-

(my own crappy theory/hc is bc Wu had already grieved him for years on end when Garmadon went full evil and left the monastery. Wu already experienced and processed his brother’s death and got to reconnect POSITIVELY when he came back!! Garmadon going to the cursed realm was by his own choice, not because of wu’s “mistake” of letting garmadon go over the wall which made him get bit by the great devourer. Garmadon wasn’t ripped away from him like before, and Wu already grieved him so!! It wasn’t as painful as the first time,, well it probably was actually but he didn’t break down publicly. Garmadon and Wu they could never make me think you guys were bad people 💔Wus a good brother man)

-meanwhile, when Morro, his ex student now a ghost who kept trying to kill him dissolved into water, he literally SCREAMED. “MORROO D:” !!

He was so genuinely DEVASTATEd MAN THATS HIS SON THATS HIS SON THATS HIS SON SOBS SCREAMS

Like

HE ALREADY FAILED MORRO BEFORE WHEN HE WAS HIS STUDENT, MORRO LEFT, HE DIED, NOT ONLY THAT BUT HE GOT SENT TO THE CURSED REALM, AND WU DIDNT PROTECT HIM, HE LET HIM LEAVE, WUS THE ONE THAT MADE HIM THINK HE WAS THE GREEN NINJ, WU !! COULDNT !! SAVE HIM !! HE COULDNT SAVE HIS SON LIKE HE COULDNT SAVE HIS BROTHER AND IK HE FEEPS RESPONSIBLE FOR BOTH THEIR DOWNFALLS HE BLAMES HIMSELF IT EATS HIM UP AT NIGHT NO MATTER HOW MANY MORE NINJA HE TRAINS NO MATTER WHAT HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE FACT HE’S PERSONALLY FAILRD ALL OF HIS FSMILY.. HIS SON HIS BROTHER 😭😭😭😭😭

Wu already dealt with losing Morro once when the boy left!! He failed to save him once, AND THEN MORRO DIDNT GO WITH HIM. HE LET HIMSELF DIE IN THE WATER. WU FAILED. TO. SAVE. HIS. SON. TWICE. HE HAD TO SEE HIS SON DIE BOTH TIMES. AND EACH TIME IT KILLED HIM. I KNOw IT DID. HIS SON. DIED. TWICE. AND. HE. FAILED!!! THEY MAKE ME SO SAD 😭😭😭😭

Wu loved Morro! He always loved his son, even when he was doing all that sh he saw his son, HE ALWAYS TRIED TO TALK TO MORRO MAN. HE KEPT. TRYING. TO TALK IT OUT. WU TRIED SO HARD TO SAVE HIM TIME AND TIME AGAIN, AND EACH TIME MORRO THREW IT IN HIS FACE AND REJECTED IT TO CONTINUE WITH HIS PLAN AND WUUU COULDNT SAVE HIM HE COULDNT SAVE HIS SON HE FAILED HIS SON GUUYYYYYS

“you can only save those who want to be saved. Goodbye, sensei.” Dies

Wu like WHY MORRO!! WHY DONT YOU WANT TO BE SAVED, LET ME SAVE YOU ☹️ I MISS YOU, YOU WERE MY FIRST PUPIL, I KEEP FAILING YOU. LET ME SAVE YOU, IM SORRY. ILL KEEP TRYING TO SAVE YOU BECAUSE THERES GOOD IN YOU, YOU WOULDVE BEEN A GOOD, GREAT MAN IF I DIDNT TELL YOU ABOUT THE GREEN NINJA. IF I DIDNT BUILD YOUR HOPES UP. I DID THIS TO YOU, IM SORRY, COME HOME, LET ME SAVE YOU. YOU CAN BE GOOD, YOU ARE GOOD, MY SON 😭😭

Wu never stopped trying to save Morro it kills me. His son. His son. Wu can’t catch a break. He keeps losing his family. Why. No wonder he looks so old ITS THE STRESS MAN THE STRESS

Also jfc after season 5 how badly do you think Morros return ripper open Wus old wound. It haunts him but he managed to live with it then his son is back and the hurt comes back but worse all over. Look. Look at what’s become of Morro, Wu. Your son’s a ghost. Banished to the cursed realm. He didn’t find peace even in death, he’s been stuck all these years, you let him go you let him die and he’s worse off than ever. He hates you. Does it hurt, sensei? I wished I got more of sensei being sad abt Morro 💔 the death scene has a grip on me holy

Morro had to get the last word in the argument smh now I’m sad about him at 3 in the morning.

Anyway rip sensei Wu his family keeps dying. Augh

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

au where ghost, by recommendation of his therapist, starts writing as a hobby. its not very helpful, at least at first. it feels like a chore, but ghost is nothing if not tenacious. hes going to prove the doc wrong and show them that he cant be helped. his journals (because he was going to give this thing his all, and handwriting everything was the best way to do it) are mostly a lot of angry scribbled thoughts and self loathing. but slowly, over time, things start to shift. more positive things start peppering the anger and the melancholy. the whole process feels less like a burden and more like a release.

then he starts writing less reality. more little anecdotes sprinkled with a smidge of hyperbole. some outlandish dreams he had the previous night. small fictions that still act as an outlet for his feelings.

as his skills grow, his therapist suggests writing a novel. something long term and sustained to put his little hobby to the test. its a commitment, sure, and a lot of work to get there, but hes never shied away from a challenge before. like with everything in his life, he dives in chest first.

the doc wasnt wrong, writing the thing was rough. borderline impossible sometimes. but slowly, storylines rise and fall. characters grow and change. the manuscript begins, and just as uneventfully it ends. he wrote a novel. now what?

nothing, he decides. it was catharsis, nothing more nothing less. but then some little shits (roach and gaz) find the bound stack of papers in his office (purposefully hidden under some overdue paperwork) and BEG him to let them read it. he isnt sure at first, but the puppydog eyes work and he reluctantly relents.

hes expecting ridicule, maybe some teasing compliments or even critiques. he wasnt expecting the two of them to ambush him the next day, half feral and wanting more. they spent the entire night reading it, nearly missing the start of breakfast because they were too engrossed.

somehow, they convince him to try for an agent. somehow, he manages to snag one. somehow, that agent loves his work enough to pitch it to several publishing houses (under a pseudonym, of course). and somehow, it gets picked up for publication.

holding the glossy hardback all that time later, ghost isnt sure what happened. he isnt sure how in the world he went from alone and angry, grieving and isolated, to this. the book is somehow a bestseller, with rave reviews all over the place. its honestly kind of nerve wracking??? the only people who know about him and it are his team. (price definitely didnt shed a tear when presented with a signed first edition copy. the sergeants absolutely did.)

he isnt sure how to feel when the new sergeant joins, all knife smiles and cutting words, waltzing into his base with a battered copy of that very book under his arm. a battered copy filled to the brim with red pen and tabs, scribbled criticism that cuts the story to the bone and picks apart every little failing scrawled in every margin. it should annoy him. it should make him hate the man, one john mactavish, all that much more.

he cant help but find him fascinating.

(maybe he might even get some ideas for the next book. thats the only reason he cant stop seeking his opinions.)

[theloudlyhappy]

Nobody Knows AU, Corpse AU, DC AU

Barbara gets a ping that a grave has been registered in the Al Ghul name. This is obviously concerning, so she looks into it immediately. The deceased is no one she’s ever heard about, but his history reveals a potential to be an actual Al Ghul. She queuries Damian briefly on whom all is on his mother’s side, then decides to tell him directly what she’s discovered.

On Amity’s end, a fourteen year old just died in a lab accident due to neglect leaving poor Jasmine to get emancipated so she isn’t taken in by a billionaire with perception issues. Danny is almost entirely invisible as the portal did turn on, but half way. Only realm beings can see and use it naturally. The ectoplasm is partially filtered leaving anyone on earth without as much control or power.

This fic idea came from my own life involving grief. How powerful and bizarre it is to know death.

Damian was told his twin didnt make it out of the womb. Now, he’s standing over his brother’s grave mourning someone he never even got to grieve. What do you do when you’ve known loss since birth, but never been allowed to show it. How does one process being haunted not just by death but a life that could have lived infinite possibilities. What can be done when you learn your brother lived after all and still not once…

Danny is around and processing his death just the same as everyone else. His parents beliefs, their trial, Jazz’s trial, his friend’s feelings and catatonia, this whole new culture he’s become a part of- it’s alot. There’s a born desire to reveal he’s there, but also a knowing that it isn’t whats meant to be done.

Eventually Danny will approach Damian and the two will have a very very long time to interact. This entire reveal fully pushes Damian into being the child he is and Danny only helps solidify the mixing of maturity and childhood freedom. When proven to truly be his twin, Damian cannot handle his role anymore. He screams and cries at his mother. His grandfather is cursed to the heavens. The Waynes are given no negative reactions to care or touch.

The young teen is allowing himself to be selfish for once in a way he never could before. It’s what Danny was like, right? Free from the blood ties that haunt Damian? Maybe he can live for him. Live like he did. That has to mean something; do something. For many days Damian would sit at Danny’s grave and just exist. Thinking, talking, sketching, eating. Everything for two in his mind.

The family supports him in his grief. This has changed him so much they’re letting him take the reigns on what he needs; and what he needs is all normal. Space to process, reminders he isn’t alone, help sustaining his body while so distracted. Damian isn’t seen in school for months and old footage of Robin receiving a broken leg is placed just so to keep certain people off his tail.

This fic idea is for grieving and possibly reunion (the twins definitely get a night at least but I’m unsure for everyone else or if Danny will fully return)

[inamagicalhallucination]

au where atsushi gets hit w/ an ability and is in a coma and is fighting for his life

atsushi has a strong desire to live sure but also thinks that itd just be better (and that he deserves to) if he went and died in a ditch

becuz of this, so close to death, atsushi has little will to fight

mayhaps he's been feeling not good for a while but didnt realize how not good

anyway thats not important whats important is as per the ability he can still observe the world and the ppl he might leave as a ghost of sorts

he's floating around the hospital or following his friends, observing

he watches as kyouka cries holding his body's hand, begging him to fight, begging him to not leave and leave her alone - refusing to leave his side until someone has to take her away

he watches kenji try to pretend every things fine - reassuring anyone who'll listen that atsushi is strong - and talk to atsushi as if he's simply closing his eyes for a bit - seemingly in denial about everything

he watches junichiro alternate between trying to comfort everybody, trying to process everything and having fits of rage and hurt where he screams and yells and completely breaks down

he watches kunikida be there for anyone and everyone and try to continue as normally as he can but always being a little off - a little too slow, a little too tired - but still putting up a front until its just him and atsushi's body and he's apologizing for letting this happen begging atsushi to wake up

he watches dazai's face stay blank the entire time he's there only to drink more and more and get scarier and scarier - visit oda and ask the stone what to do - curse his own ability for not stopping the ability thats hurting atsushi - being too scared to go anywhere near atsushi in the fear that atsushi's regenerational abilities will stop working and he'll hurt even more

he watches ranpo put up a strong face - take on more cases - find the ability user quickly but be unable to find any other way for atsushi to get better other than just getting better - he knows theres no way but still he pushes it becuz there has to be but even the ability user breaks down in a session w/ him and dazai and admits there isnt but there has to be

he watches yosano try and heal him over and over - through her ability and her actual knowledge in being a doctor - watches her stay by his side through everything - there to fix any small inconvenience he may have like a too bright room or a non fluffy pillow, waiting, obsessively checking his vitals

he watches the president hold everyone together - keep the ada floating and offering support to anyone who wants it - watches his face grow more and more tired as he waits - as they all wait - watches him visit atsushi's body and give him updates on whats happening, waiting

he watches naomi fill his room with gifts, keeping a bright smile on her face whenever she enters only for it to drop the second she's far away enough so that when he wakes up he cant see it

watches the clerks take turns visiting him w/ gifts and encouragement, helping the president hold down the agency, while trying to be strong

watches lucy spill hot tea on her hands because she's worrying about him again - watches her get upset and angry when anyone so as much hints that atsushi won't get up - watches her talk to him and try to convince him to wake up

and atsushi grieves becuz of his own lack of understanding on how loved he has become

akutagawa doesn't falter when he learns about atsushi and atsushi kind of wishes he did - when he sees atsushi he doesn't blink or react, simply nods and leaves - and atsushi feels strange at having confirmation that he does not matter much to him - sometimes akutagawa visits - not always and never in a pattern - random and quick visits where he only watches atsushi for a moment before leaving - in the end, atsushi follows him becuz watching the ada and lucy gets too hard - he expects akutagawa to go about his day, atsushi in the back of his mind - maybe a little concern for him as his partner but nothing to fret about

atsushi spends his day with akutagawa wishing he could reach out and touch him and hold im as he watches one of the strongest people he knows give in to their grief and fall apart, with no agency members to see him, no friend there to see what akutagawa surely calls his weakness, only him, atsushi's ghost, and gin's hurried footsteps as she comes home

anyway

why did i write this

[joekitsu]

Been binge reading Fem!Bruce Wayne posts here on Tumblr and consequently I've been hit by the Brain Worms TM and so ig here we go?

Part 1

● Name: Bernadette Wayne (idk I just like that name it gives off old money vibes yk? Seems like something wealthy people would name their child) (I also like Beatrice as her name, but Bernadette is just more classy idk) (Like Bruce being called 'Brucie', Bernadette is called 'Bernie' or 'Barbie' in her public persona)

● Tall women ftw. She got the best of her parents in her figure, standing at a nice 6'2 with broad shoulders, sharp waist and wide hips. All attractive features that one would expect of someone of her pedigree, basically being Gotham royalty. Long hair the shade of the deepest ink, pale, glacial blue eyes, pouty lips, high cheekbones that can cut glass, an aristocratic nose, love marks scattered over her face and neck, crows feet creasing her eyelids; there is a reason she's know as Gotham's most Beloved Daughter, her Princess. Age never diminished her beauty frfr she just aged like the finest of all wine.

● She does not gender herself as Batman or Batwoman in her vigilante life, idk I feel like that ambiguity is something she would prefer? Her suit would be made for protection and comfort, padded and reinforced. It hides the majority of her body shape, the long cape hiding her body most of the time didnt help either. Ofc people being people they'd assume she's a man and call her Batman but she always refers to herself as The Bat (also a thinly veiled plot to explore identity lol) (also gets rid of my own conflict on her gender representation) (hurray for costumed androgeny)

● This is something straight out of my regular Bruce headcanons, but Bruce being female can change things up just a little bit: Alfred and his guardianship over 8 year old Bernie.

Alfred is an Old British man, raised with British values. He has been in service to the damn Queen before he became the Wayne butler. The first thing he did after Bernie's birth was learn the customs of high society so he would be able to lead his young miss if needed. He simply didn't expect to be given her this early in her young life. Alfred might've been the best butler, but the best guardian he was not.

Not being ready for a heavily traumatized neurodivergent 8 year old, he fumbled quite a bit in her upbringing. His standards were abnormally high, expecting her to bounce back from the death of her parents and uphold the family name and legacy. Granted, he was under quite the pressure in this time period, from both the press and hungry people wanting to dig into the Wayne family wealth, and in his emotionally constipated ex-spy eyes, a grieving young girl was not a first priority. He did not know how to deal with her when she went non-verbal for days on end and did not eat, unable to stomach even the few safe foods she had. He didn't have the time to figure out how to deal with her. He didn't accompany her to any events, finding it inappropriate for her to be seen with 'just an employee' (nevermind that he was the closest she had to a parent now). By the time he got around to it, she had already grown up.

Her choices were heavily restricted and micromanaged by Alfred to 'uphold the family legacy'; her clothes were always formal and proper, tailored to fit her with no room for an unruly appearance. Her hair was always tied up into braids, combed neatly and pinned up (the last time she wore it free as a child was before he had it cut to her shoulders, 'easier to manage' was what he said when asked). Her diet was always healthy and portioned; Alfred despised the thought of greasy fast food and processed snacks, why get a cheap burger when he could simply make her a hearty chicken salad instead? (This was the start of her issues with food).

(Bruce would have been sent to boarding school at some point in his life, Bernie would not have that privilege sadly. Gotham was rarely ever kind to pretty little girls. She still meets who she needs to meet either way.)

(The minor change brought on by the genderbend is the level of restriction)

● She still ends up adopting all her little Robins. Almost exactly the same way Bruce does. The day before she brings young Richard home, she pours through 10 different parenting books, 4 books on processing grief, and joins several single parent forums anonymously (HC shared for Bruce as well). It doesn't make dealing with a volatile young boy easier, but it does help. Bernie is undoubtedly a good parent. Being a good parent doesn't matter if the child isn't looking for one.

She is young, almost too young to have a ward. Freshly cusping on 20, barely an adult in the eyes of the law. But she hadnt been young in a long time, not since her training, not since that day in the alleyway, not since her mother's pearls rained down on the asphalt followed by gushing crimson. Of course, grief was a heavy weight to carry and she still carried her own. Alfred had made his displeasure clear with her way of dealing with her new charge, but he also refused to parent the child in her stead.

The early days with Dick were hard on both of them, with loud arguments and smashed dishes and Alfred's silent judgement. But they work it out eventually. The Bat prowls the night and Robin begins to soar.

Oh man I have tons more to say; her public persona, her relationship with each of her children (elaboration on Dick, Jason and Tim and Damian and Cass and Steph and Duke-), the Justice League, etc etc. I'll probably get to those tomorrow- oh man it's late-

THIS IS NOT AGAINST ANY CHARACTERS IN ANY WAY IM NOT BASHING ANYONE (ALFRED IM SORRY ILY BUT YOU PROBABLY WERENT THE BEST AT THIS) THIS IS JUST HOW I SEE IT FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE BUT DONT PUSH ME ABOUT IT

Maybe I should write a fem Bruce story. Should be fun. Could even make it a series. Hell yeah plans

[nessieartss]

So I have to ask, in your jjk sibling AU….how close were Sukuna and grandpa? And how did the siblings deal with his death together? I just have to know 😭

Anon, why did you do this to me 😭 anyway, yes sukuna was close with his grandpa just like yuuji. But apparently his grandpa didnt like it when sukuna was going through his "emo phase" and would often smack him in his head while saying, "you look like a sewer rat that just barely escaped a house fire." Yuuji would laugh his ass off and he gotta admit the look didnt suit sukuna at all.

Okay, so, this is gonna be hard. Yuuji was the first one to cry when they heard the news from the hospital. Sukuna, on the other hand, was too shock to handle the news that he didnt know how to react. He busied himself helping their parents for the funeral preparation, telling other family members about the news. He suppresed down all the emotions while also tried to calm yuuji down. I think he's the type to look strong in front of the others while still trying to process what just happened.

But then it all came crashing down like waves for sukuna the next day. He broke down, couldnt sleep, spent the entire day in his room, only came out to eat and didnt even talk that much. Yuuji, while still grieving, tried to knock on his room to check up on him. They talked awkwardly on the door frame, sukuna just looked so tired that yuuji thought he would eat him alive if he tried to take another step into his room.

But surprisingly, sukuna allowed him. Yuuji sitting himself down on his computer chair, while sukuna laying down in his bed, face staring at the ceiling. They talked about their days first, all the "how are you" just beating around the bush untill finally their grandpa. They reminisced all their happy moments, and yuuji could see that sukuna was trying really hard not to cry in front of him. They talked for 2 hours but most of it just filled with silence.

Yuuji then told sukuna to take a rest, in which sukuna replied with a mumbled thanks. It took them both days to finally processed the grieving and getting back up on their feet again.

[alicentsgf]

hi, i might just be a touch too young have other things keeping me from getting this - but i've never really understood how the baby becoming a sacrifice (despite already being a stillborn; like ive always seen what happened as best case for the baby so it just really confuses me) is on the same like level as what she had to do to javi. you just explain shaunas brain really well and i was curious if you would be able to go into that / explain it a little ?

yeah of course! i mean i can only say how i interpret it and i think its impossible to really quantify trauma but for shauna losing her child and everything that came with it was the most deeply traumatic experience she endured imo, especially with how closely connected it was to jackies fate. javi's death and shaunas role in it was more the straw that broke the camels back, in terms of changing her irrevocably.

having witnessed someone close to me experience it, its hard to describe how deeply traumatic losing a child is, even one you never really knew or wanted to begin with. just the act of holding a dead baby is an impossibly awful experience, and shauna did it for days. and im sure if she'd dared to think about it she would have known logically how bad the chances were for the baby, but that wouldnt have stopped her hoping. even when you actually know someones going to die, the loss doesnt truly hit you until afterwards. and then you have to consider all the additional stress as well. she had everyone piling their hopes on her, excited for the baby, assuming it would change things for the better. it must have felt like such a huge burden. this child is the result of a decision that led to her best friends death. led to shauna eating her to stay alive. if the baby dies... what the hell was that all for. what does she have left to show for it. not to mention she had lottie growing strangely attached, making shauna fear what she had planned. we see this represented in shaunas nightmare, where lottie inserts herself to the extent of breastfeeding. then shauna sees her friends covered in her childs blood - they'd ripped him apart and consumed him, and maybe that was what she'd feared all along, except not so literally; that her child would never truly be hers, because this strange hierarchy might give someone like lottie the power to rip him away. its a lot to process, as if a traumatic stillbirth without pain relief at 18 isnt enough to be getting on with.

and in the end that nightmare shauna had does kinda comes true. because lottie does steal her baby, and the others do consume him. they're cannibalising his memory, cannibalising shaunas grief. hes not a person, hes not hers, hes some kind of totem or diety for a religion shauna doesnt believe in. she cant even go to his grave and grieve peacefully, hes public property and so is she by association. its why akilah's headdress pissed her off so much, because yet again what she wants or needs isnt considered, when really in this scenario they should all be deferring to her. she doesnt even have anyone to lean on in her grief because to the others her son isnt a baby who would grown up to be someone someday, hes just a sacrifice. worst of all shes told he had to be sacrificed to keep HER alive. nobody even thinks about how guilty this must make shauna feel. how heartbreaking it must be to be told 'your child needed to die for you to live because we need you more'. its a callous, selfish thing to express, even if they didnt mean any harm by it and even if it makes logical sense. shauna doesnt believe in the wilderness, but she knows the others at least believe they chose for her. whether their ritual worked or not, it was not their place to do that. she didnt want to die, but any decision made should have been hers alone. so now it feels like shes surrounded every day by people who see her like a tool to be used. shes necessary, they needed her, so her baby had to die.

ultimately this means that in the end shaunas trauma isnt just centered on the event itself - the pain and loss of a stillbirth, but all the other circumstances surrounding it that make shaunas experience so desperately isolating and painful. trauma doesnt just happen in moments, and for shauna this is an ongoing traumatic experience thats lasted at least a year at this point, since the moment she realised she was pregnant. and its happening on top of the already extremely traumatic circumstances they're all enduring.

so whilst the night she butchered javi is of course deeply traumatic, its more of a transformative garnish on top of the mountain of other stuff shauna was already experiencing. i think its more that something clicked in her brain that night, carving him up, exposing herself to something so deeply harrowing, and then not getting chosen to lead. she feels that shes not respected, shes just a means to an end. that they all see the knife in her hand, even when shes not holding it. its why they needed her alive, and not her child. and so in feeling that fuel a rage in her, she became compelled to find some type of power in the role she has. and when all you have is a knife, theres really only one way to grasp at power.

[saturnxlust]

Sighhhh this is a shit post cause i have nothing else to do🫶🫶

John Marston x Fem!Reader

Hes a interesting lover

He isnt that bad but hes not like amazing

I imagine he was a good dad for the most part to john but i dont think he’d want another kid

If you do he might just shove jack in your arms and let you take care of him for awhile

Jack is a sweetheart though🫶🫶

I dont think abigal could really complain about their marriage other then the fact he ran away for about a year and constantly left for days at a time without telling anyone

If you have a problem with that he might just shrug and offer to take you with him

But if you decline and ask him to stay home with you hes not too keen on it

Most of the time its usually missions dutch sends him on that take days but there have been a few occasions where they take a week

When everything went bad with the gang at the bank his first priority was you and jack

He wanted to get you out of this life and run away like he had before blackwater

He knew everyone would be counting on him and arthur to keep dutch sane though so he begrudgingly stayed

When arthur, dutch, javier, and micah go missing its chaos

He goes practically insane not knowing what to do

He also heavily mourns the loss of his “adopted” father hosea

He shuts down almost completely and relies on you for almost everything

Most of his days are spent in his cot wishing for them to come back, that is until you join him

He gets distracted by you almost enough to forget hes lost his 2 father figures and his older brother figure

Micah he doesnt really care about, never understand why the man was so sour all the time

Javier he misses, mostly wanting him to be at the camp to bring everyones spirts up by playing a song

Secretly sings one of javiers songs while working by himself

When they finally come back hes never been happier, but while he was slumped in bed he was imagining hosea would come back with them and that they had grabbed his body to keep him alive

When thats not the case he cries

Genuine tears fall from his eyes that night as he holds you and goes through the grieving process all over again

It took some words of encouragement from arthur to get him up and moving the next day

When dutch and micah flee leaving arthur and him and a few others to deal with their attackers

He doesnt let you out of his sight

Not wanting you to get hit in the crossfire

Once everything was over and you all were safe again he never left your side and his hands stayed on you at all costs

He feels like if he isnt holding you and constantly around you then something will happen

When evrything goes bad and arthur dies? Oh god

You thought he was bad before

Hes awful now

He starts crying as soon as he finds out and if your off doing something he immediately seeks your comfort

Walking up to you and holding you while he cries into your shoulder is the only thing he knows to do right now

When he eventually calms a little hes gone

Lost almost completely

Theres not much you can say without him breaking down again so you decide to be silent

Holding him and running your hands through his hair

He falls to his knees infront of you and his arms wrap around your wait as he cries into your stomach

His hat is long gone somewhere but it didnt matter to him

All that mattered is that his best friend and brother was dead and there was nothing he could do

He wished arthur had told him sooner

He wished he had read the signs after micah began calling him black lung

He wished he had gotten arthur medicine

Even if it wouldnt have helped much it wouldve done something

And then the anger sets in

He gets up abruptly and walks away

Beginning to throw and punch things, nothing at you

Not even close to you

He screams and curses micah and dutches names

Feeling betrayed by those he once called his family

Once the anger leaves he breaks down again

Sobbing and shaking as he reaches out for you, silently begging you to do something to fix this

You just walked over and held him in your arms, letting him fall asleep against you

The last thing you remember seeing is him snoring softly in your arms as you leaned against a tree

Falling asleep yourself after being so tired of being on the run

God knows what happened to the rest and may god keep them safe is the last thought that rings through your head before you fall asleep with john pressed against you

Oh my god i didnt realize how in depth i went with his grief😭😭

[pumpkinsy0]

Curly and Ponys first Christmas living together where both of them are confused when Christmas decorations don't magically appear because somebody else always does it

ohhhh these two,,,,luv em!!! thank u for the ask!!!

•ik they bought those decorations late as hell, they kept putting it off cause they were too lazy, and even uf they DID get it, theyd b too lazy to put ALL of them up, their gang/family usually helped w it but now its just the two of em, only 1/2 of those decorations r actually gonna b used

•if u think these two r arguing over what vibe of christmas they want and u feel like pony is into a christmas where its one solid color, ur on THIN ice bc they BOTH would rather a colorful christmas and cant understand y anyone would go for that boring outlook on christmas,,,im watching u,,,

•however we can compromise!!! pony argues just going for the regular red and green while curlys arguing for just different colors PLUS the red and green, they both r too stubborn and now their christmas looks like a paintball gun shot up the place

•their tree was so pathetic, its in an awkward spot in the living room, its so small and kept tipping over so they gave up on it and its just kinda leaning on the wall and stacked up by ponys college books😭😭

•they prolly coulda picked a better tree too, its not like that was the only one left, they were just in a sour mood cause it was cold as shit and wanted to go back home so they picked the first one they saw n dipped, say ts the next morning n just sighed😭

•curlys homesickness shows rarely, and this is one of those times bc angela would joke about putting herself on top of a christmas tree cause she was an “angel”, but they never ever got one, so he took a pic of angela he had and put it on top, hes never admitting he misses that demon tho🙄🙄

•SOMEONE (curly) put the mistletoe above the headboard of their bed thinking they were soooooo slick

•YESSS i will forver bring up haitian fanals i love them theyre so pretty, curly and pony tried making em but they looked so wonky, if u hc them living in an apartment, they couldnt hang them up bc they hand nowhere TO do it so its just chilling on a counter, but they still do light em up!!!

•the lights were so tangled up in the box somehow they genuinely just gave up and threw them up on the wall and said “we’ll get to it later” (they wouldnt)

•if u want them living in a shitty one bedroom, let it b known that they love going around the block seeing the other neighbors decorations and some of them light their houses UP, ik their light bill high as hell and when they didnt have their decorations up they could just feel those houses,,,teasing them,,,,

•ponys sent darry pics of the whole set up and darry could detect about 6 fire code violations, he sighed and showed tim and they accepted what theyve done letting those two move in together, to make the grieving process easier

•kinda unrelated but ikkkk they dont play about frank sinatra and maria careys christmas songs

[snacho-to-ur-nacho]

i feel like edens trauma is overlooked a lot

(huge huge spoilers here, of the trilogy. doesnt include rebel, so u can read if you havent got there)

because like, first he grows up struggling and his mothers grieving their father but its okay bc he has his two older brothers right?

but still, he doesnt have anything to eat, like in the scene, when he has a few bites of the food and realized he was caught he started to cry

so hes growing up malnourished and starved, not to mention scared of the police brutality

and then day's trial comes, and his big brother is suddenly gone, despite eden thinking he was so smart and hed do great, which puts pressure on him to have to study even harder

then he hears that big brother danny is dead. and this must have shocked his world. the brother who he used to have so much fun with. now his entire family is grieving, mother is probably broken apart, John is trying to care for all of them, and overworked and struggling, leaving eden quite alone. and then, because things cant get better for thr poor dude, hes like 7 when he gets incredibly sick.

and now eden is infrcted with a disease like no other, irises bleeding and barely clinging onto life, holding on by a thread. hes too bleary to understand whsts happening- all he feels is slight flashes of john desperately saying something, his mother touching his forehead, and everyone, including him, thinking he was going to die.

he feels dead.

until weeks later he drifts awake. weak, and afraid, but alive. except johns not with him, and neither is his mother. hes in some glass tube, on a train, headed some place, where soldiers shove him around and take samples and samples of blood. additionally, hes blind, not able to see anything, calling out for his family, not knowing whats happening. Hes probably wondering if this is death.

finally, it comes to a stop. and then a soldier helps accompany him back to LA, where he's told the only family he thought he has, is dead. and, the brother he thought was dead, was alive, and was the modt wanted criminal.

imagine his confusion and pain hearing that, processing it.

now, hes at the hospital, and finally he feels a family member with him- day, his danny, the brother who was supposed to be dead. hes hurt, confused why daniel didnt tell him, grieivng, and just so exhausted.

so he lives with daniel, slowly trying to find a new normal, until he hears that his brother is going to die. but not from his brother, no, he hesrs it from the media. and now suddenly the city is under attack, he doesnt understand whats happening, hes barely wisked to safety, and finally understands whats happening. desperate to end the war, hes readynto sacrifice himself, despite only being 10. he goes back to the labs, where hes tested, but puts on a fake smile for his brother, whos already going throihh so much.

then the final fight happens, and he feels his brotjer guiding him to safety. he allows himself to feel a bit of hope, until he sees his brothernfreeze. eden doesnt see the bullet, but sees his brother fall, and fade into the coma.

its months later eden is finally reasusred day is alive. months of being alone, blind, confused, and thinking everyoje he knew was dead. but after, he knows daniel isnt the same. daniels forgotten some core memories, and... hes changed. so, they leave los angeles, leave the city, go to a foreign nation to start fresh. Daniel doesnt want to talk about tje past, so he wont. He'll keep the trauma and scars and fears within him, never saying it aloud. and he'll grow, soon be old enough to understand everything about hisnpast, to see the video of john beign shot, to realize the truths about his past.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for vague posting about my ex after he got me an expensive but upsetting gift?

I (23 m) and my ex (22 m) have only been separated from our 2 year long relationship for a few months now. I was the one who broke things off and I wanted to stay friends, however, for reasons I feel are obvious, this was super difficult for him. We went a while without talking regularly, and he was often very upset with me and short, and would vague me online (very privately). It made me really upset to be treated that way but I didnt say anything since he was grieving and processing our breakup. About a month into our split, my service cat passed I was extremely distraught and upset, like this was my best friend and it was so sudden, I was unstable from grief, but he reached out with his condolences and I really appreciated it. We talked more and seemed to be reconnecting and I was super excited about it. I came over to him to help him fix his car, picked him up from the airport, etc. I had missed him so much and were finally hanging out again!! I had been grieving quietly for another month when, while I'm petsitting his cats for him, he tells me about a gift he left for me. I open it to a letter saying that basically he was having a hard time getting over our breakup and that he didnt know if hed ever be over it, but he was sorry for my recent loss. I unpackaged the gift to reveal one of those 3D felted cat portraits of my late best friend. It was too much for me to see him in 3D again and I started sobbing and freaking out immediately. I texted him thanking him for the gift, but saying it was too soon for me to have recieved it, but I didnt elaborate much on that for fear he'd be upset that his gift has hurt me. I didn't have many other people to personally reach out to about my grief. My friends all seriously disliked this guy for most of my relationship with him (he had done some really upsetting shit to me several times before he was medicated and they thought he was bad for me) and I didnt want to talk shit about him like theyd want to, I like this guy a lot... I also posted privately online that I had recieved a gift (not saying what it was, not saying who it was from) that I wasnt ready to get and that it was sending me into a grief spiral again. I didnt use his name because I worried people would comment to talk shit about him and he would see. Well a friend of mine made a comment saying that whoever gave it to me should have thought more about how I would feel to recieve it. I responded basically telling my friend that I wasnt upset about the gift giver, just the gift itself had caused me to relive some stuff I wasnt ready for. But my ex saw and reached out to me saying "oh so your friends think I'm a bad person? I can take the gift back then." Which I tried to argue that I really loved the gift and that I didnt think he was a bad person. I showed him that I had disagreed with my friend, and rhat I wasnt venting about a good thing he did for me, but rather the post was more about my grief for the loss of my pet. The argument basically ended with me saying that I felt I needed to be totally emotionally sterile for his comfort and wasnt allowed to feel my grief publicly, and him saying that I could feel grief but I shouldnt have vagued him because then people could freely comment and judge him since he was nameless in the post. I deleted my post and agreed with him that I probably shouldnt have made the post at all, I apologized and hoped we could move on, but he replied with "dont talk to me" and blocked me on the social media where I made the post. I ended up reaching out again a few days ago (a week from our fight) to apologize for having gone too far during our argument and suggesting we meet in person to talk. He told me that our argument had made him the most manic he had ever been and that he appreciated the option to talk it out in person but he was very angry that I would treat him like that after saying I wanted to maintain a friendship. I apologized again, saying I wish we could be nicer to each other and we havent talked since.

(I'm trying to keep this as neutral as possible, all my friends are on my side but I still feel like it might be because they just never liked him...)

What are these acronyms?