#he didnt even know he was one of my favorites and he was mean to me and then i couldnt stand him
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Born Too Late - Chapter 11
pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak
Warnings: hungover reader, i think thats it
Summary: 1 day after your intense dinner and "after party" with Joel, your head is fogged. you arent sure where to go or what to do from here. (1400k+)
a/n: hey im back. probs gonna end this soon bc tbh, idk where its going. leave feedback but be nice :P. ps didnt proof, prob lots of errors, oops. pps sad soppy soft joel inbound.
Chapter 10 - Masterlist - Chapter 12 (Coming Soon)
You wake up and your head is pounding. Last nights clothes still littering the floor, and the sun barely creeping in your window. You stumble into the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing the bottle of Advil. Popping the cap off and turning the sink on simultaneously, you throw 2 into your mouth and stick your face under the faucet, taking in 2 giant gulps of water. You walk back into your room, sighing at the sight. Yesterdays memories flooding in, playing in your brain like a movie you cant turn off. You pick up your ripped shirt and toss it in the trashcan, and your jeans in the hamper.
The coffee pot is dripping and the aroma fills your house. You get your favorite mug out of the cabinet and pour yourself a cup, leaving room for a splash of creamer. You plop into the same spot as usual on your couch, not even turning the TV on. You begin to sequence every event of yesterday, nitpicking every singular detail. Instead of your usual tears, you begin to feel anger. You’re mad at how you were spoken to, how you were treated, how you were left. You decide that this time, you arent extending the olive branch. One too many times have you tried to make up for actions that aren’t your responsibility.
After 4 hours of deep cleaning, you grab the 3 baskets of clean laundry from the laundry room and haul them to your couch. You begin folding everything you’ve let pile up since Penny was here. You miss her. You go to reach for your phone, and it isn't there. You remember Joel grabbing it from you, dropping it on your bedroom floor. You head to your room, and pick it up off the floor. It’s dead. Of fucking course. You let out the 50th sigh of today and grab the charger. You turn the TV on and flip to How I Met Your Mother, another comfort show of yours. While you wait for your phone to turn on, you fold and hang fold and hang. A never ending cycle it seems. After the first basket, your phone comes back on and you dive for it, checking to see if you have any missed calls or texts from Joel. There isn’t a single one.
You call Penny, detailing your Thanksgiving with the Millers.
“And then he left. He just fucking left.” You say, peering out your window towards Joels. Hoping for any sign of life.
“What the fuck do you mean he ‘left’?!” Penny says, loud enough that you have to pull the phone away from your ear.
“He left. His eyes looked different, but he just walked out. I didn’t chase him and he didn’t come back. AND he has a fucking girlfriend. I truly don’t-” Penny interjects.
“A fucking girlfriend?!?! Im actually going to kill this man.”
You let out a sigh. “I just don’t know what to do Pen. The sex was so fucking good. I loved being dominated like that but the circumstances surrounding it fucking blow. I refuse to be the first to speak so I guess parent-teacher conferences will just have to be awkward from now on.”
“Honestly, its his loss Yellow. I wish I could do something or help.” Penny says, disgruntled.
“I know Pen, but just talking to you about it helps.” you say calmly. Soaking in her vibes through the phone.
Your phone beeps.
“So, Im thinking about-”
“Hold on Pen” you say, switching her to speaker and checking your texts.
“Holding!” she says cheerfully.
“Its Joel.” you say.
“What?” Penny says, every ounce of cheerfulness leaving her voice, a sort of rage fillingit instead.
You didn’t mean to say it outloud but you did.
“Well what the hell did he say?!”
“I refuse to look. He can kiss my ass.” You retort, both of you erupting in laughter.
A couple more hours go by on the phone with Penny. You learn that her time in Ireland may be cut short due to her moms health. It’s a weird feeling for you. You want Penny to be happy but you also miss her so much.
“Okay Pen. I’ve gotta make some dinner and get this laundry put in drawers instead of living in a basket.”
“I miss you yellow. I’ll see you soon, okay? Let me know if anything happens with Joel.” she responds.
You had completely forgotten Joel texted you. You’re nauseous.
“I will. Love ya!”
“Love ya!”
The call disconnects. You sigh, dragging the 3 laundry baskets to your room. You sit on your bed, and look out the window. Joel’s curtains in the same place they have been, neatly on the windowsill.
You follow through on your word, and you don’t even read Joels text. You put your laundry away and scrounge up some dinner. You eat leftover pasta and garlic knots and settle in for the night, cozying up under a blanket on your very loved couch.
You wake up to a knocking on your door. It’s dark so you’re weary. Looking out the peephole, you see Joel. He’s in jeans and a flannel but he looks disheveled. His normally bright eyes are now withdrawn and dull, his arms sitting heavily at his sides, holding flowers. You’re hesitant to open the door. Partially because nothing good comes from late nights with him, and partially because you have no desire to speak to him. He drained you emotionally, and made you feel small.
“What do you want, Joel?” you say through the door, pulling yourself away from the peephole.
“P-please open it. I just wanna t-t-talk to ya.” His voice sweet as molasses, but cracking.
“Joel, realistically I have nothing to say.” You take a deep breath, struggling to keep your voice from shaking. “We are not good for each other, in any capacity. I think we both made that clear to each other over the last few weeks.”
A tear falls slowly from his right eye.
“Yellow. P-p-please.” He blubbers through a few more tears.
You sigh and open the door, leaving the storm door shut.
His eyes are bloodshot, his hair is a wreck, and his posture is depressing.
“Joel-”
“Please just let me talk, and then I’ll go. I promise.” he says. You nod, signaling him to go ahead.
“Im so sorry. For everything. Im sorry for how I spoke to you, for how I let Celeste speak to you, for not sticking up for you-” he takes a deep breath in, “Most of all, Im sorry for not being more clear with my intentions from day one.” his head drops.
"From the moment I saw you, everything changed. I can still remember the first time our eyes met—it was like the world paused for a second. I didn’t know you yet, but something about you felt familiar, like I had been waiting for you without even realizing it.” he pauses, sniffling.
“There was this quiet kind of magic in the way you moved, in the way your smile lit up the room. I didn’t know it then, but I was already falling. It’s like my heart recognized you before my mind did, and it just couldn’t let go. I tried to ignore it, tried to convince myself it was just a fleeting moment, a passing attraction. But the more I saw you, the more I couldn’t escape it.”
And you say nothing. Because he’s lowkey been a dick from day one, so you’re confused.
“Joel, respectfully, you were an ass to me the day we met. You don’t treat someone you care about this much, like that.” You say blankly.
“I was scared. After Sarah’s mom cheated on me, I had no interest in finding someone. As far as I was concerned, it was just her and I. No one else mattered, and I didn’t mind it.”
“That still isn’t a reason to treat me the way you did. Nothing about what we did was normal. Fun? Sure. Normal? Not really.”
He sighs. “I know, and I’m sorry. I want to fix it. I want to do right by you.” he says, his puppy dog eyes looking up at you.
“Joel I don’t-” he interrupts.
“You dont have to give me an answer tonight, or hell even this week. But I like you, and I want to give you the world. And I think if we could start over, I could do that. I could be better, for you.” He says, a glimmer of hope in his eyes for the first time in weeks
You nod your head. “I’ll let you know.” you say, opening the storm door. “Thanks for popping by, and for apologizing. I appreciate it.”
He hands you the flowers with a nod, and turns back toward his house, borderline disappearing in the haze.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fic#last of us#neighbor joel x reader#neighbor joel#cliffhanger#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#joel miller x you#the last of us#neighbor!joel#joel x reader#daddy joel#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#my writing#tlou#joel tlou
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rememberwhen he. remember. when. when.when. he
#i did mean it when i said hollands actually not even my favorite character within this universe which is honetsly#concerning the more unwell i act about him. but like he's probably in the top 5 if not top 3#he is the main main character after all i feel like it'd be weird if i didnt like him a lot lmao#i cant help that hes a pirate with loose moral but a compassionate sappy little heart :/ i cant help that he cares deeply for hte people ar#und him and will die and kill for them :/#when he leaves his home country to become a pirate and hes kept track of pirate politics and hes like#i know how to make people like me i will ally myself with the big pirates to climb my way to the top#but he forgot he's a very driven person who'll go very far to reach his goals so like he does meet and create relationships with these peop#e but um. not good ones usually lmao but like that in and of itself inadvertently launches him into pirate fame#honestly hollands plans rarely go the way he wants them to but like he still kind of knows what he's doing#that time he tries to assassinate the crown prince but ends up falling in love instead :/ whoops#chugging an energy drink so i can make more pirate renders<3 less holland renders i need my other characters to get some renders too
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a strange trend in my favorite characters I realize is that I tend to heavily gravitate toward somewhat obscure, antagonistic forces
#shoutout to the multiple months when I was young when I was obsessed with flatwoman#‘who the fuck is flatwoman’ heh. well. you ever watch the pbs kids show peg + cat?#she appeared in like two episodes and let’s just say. I would’ve died for her as a kid#and yup ok you guessed it this trend continued with my boy pumpkin daddy#what thehell is wrong with that guy and more important question why is he my absolute favorite character of all time#I’m not even talking strictly about PDBC here alright? in that I have full control over him#in ROOTS? oh boy unstoppable force of nature someone Actually euthanize him or something he’s going to commit heinous crimes if left alone#he’s So bizarre mind if I just talk about that before going back to sleep? his morals are all over the place#‘this poor abandoned child. her mother should be ashamed of doing this to her. anyway let’s kidnap her for money’#and then he fucking pretends that he didn’t remember that happening#not that it DIDNT happen but that he just doesn’t remember it??.okay go off king??#at this point I don’t even know if he was lying he might just have Alzheimer’s or something he’s gettin kinda old#also Alzheimer’s is the worst word ever I have to look it up to spell it every time ffs so annoying#also worth mentioning that he almost got himself killed in a pursuit of someone’s money#and then not even a YEAR later he was back at it again trying to scam the SAME people lol GIVE IT A REST#I didn’t type lol this is travesty istg I didn’t type lol there there’s a lol ghost on the loose#he needs to be put down or something#and why the hell is he actually one of the nicest parents like huh?..?man what??#yeah this is my little science experiment I made solely for money. i love her she’s beautiful she’s awesome#my brother in Christ pick a side are you horrible or not#ok also wait that reminds me. it was unintentionally implied that he wasn’t evil once#I won’t go into it for the sake of time but. raises eyebrow. what the hell do you mean#at least I think it was unintentional. it’s still weird to me and I never bothered asking#anyway I should probably go back to sleep I have n appointment in like. two hours. sigh#yayyyy I love characters who suck!!! 🥰🥰🥰 pop off you asshole king and or queen
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i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs
the dogs in question
#doodles#uhhh ill tag this oc even though its just my dogs lmao#oc#anyways#for the record about their personalities#dakotas very much a grumpy old lady. shes pretty quiet and when she has something to say its not very nice#vyse used to be a little menace!! but hes mellowed out as he got older#and orpheus is a menace!! he loves annoying people its his favorite hobby#he doesnt try to be destructive he just does things he thinks will be cool without thinking and causes massive damage in the process#hes the kid who went WANNA WATCH ME DO A BACKFLIP OFF THIS WALL??? without knowing how to do a backflip#hes like 15 and he was on his schools football team but then one summer everyone came back really buff and he did not#so he doesnt play football anymore#and hes covered in bandages from all the stupid things he does#anyways in terms of designs. i had a vision for dakota and orpheus and none for vyse#dakota specifically i thought should have a long braid and one of those fucked up canadian hats. and orpheus should look like-#-a teenage boy who cant dress nice!! also his hoodie says hellhound on the back#the neon shorts are DIRECTLY ripped from the ones i got from when i did wrestling. theyre so fucking comfy btw#dakota is mostly just cold and comfy. she REFUSES to dress lighter#vyse i didnt have any real ideas for again. i wanted to make him look a bit like his namesake vyse skiesofarcadia but i wasnt sure how#in the end he got that red scarf. which i think does make him look a bit more mischevious since so much of his face is hidden#anyways theyre like a fucked up little found family!! vyse would murder for dakota and orpheus. and dakota probably does too#probably. you can never be sure if she does actually like him#oh also this is mostly irrelevant. but vyse and dakota were meant to be like later 30s (dakotas maybe 38 and vyse is 34? ish?)#and also theyre russian. vyse and dakota i mean. idk if it comes across for vyse but one of my friends guessed it with dakota so!!#idk siberian huskies. theyre russian. россия or whatever
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love how ludger rejecting divinity means so fuckin little because even if he is not a "proper" god hes still the most op and successful character in the entire multiverse
#your statement means nothing to me; i have seen what power you already had#even his suffering is so meh once we know what happened to his siblings#hell. even flora arguably has had much worse than ludger lmfao#he has the power to change his own fate. she didnt even allow to have that.#and got stuck in her abusive family for 18+ damn years#until she got rescued by a mary sue who then lectured her about rebelling & fighting back against ur oppressors w ur own power#shes not you my dude. only one person in this multiverse is the gods' favorite princess and its certainly not her.#if not for the divinity you would have died in the damn imaginary space. you would have died by the time you reached *one month old*#u cant just use the power of gods left and right to achieve ur goals then say “acktually id prefer to be human” after you got what u want#u cant eat the cake and have it too. fuck offffff#where are the damn consequences for those divine interventions? for his “”self admitted crimes“”?#3 years in jail? solitary confinement? please. people w minor burglary crimes have had it worse in america.#EVEN THEN WHERE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THREE YEARS IN SOLITARY#WHAT IS SO HUMAN ABOUT COMING OUT OF IT UNSCATHED#gdi im so pissed @ sayrens writing decisions in aup#every sidestories chapter brings me closer to dethrone casey & become ludger cherishs no. 1 archnemesis#also ludger is lowkey a con mathematician bc real mathematicians would *show* their works#what even is the point of developing a work but hiding all the progress behind the scenes#what is the point of developing a character but always jumpskipping to the results#literally the explanation for every OP bs he pulled in aup is “ofco he can do that hes the goddamn ludger fucking cherish™️”#either show your proofs or take that thesis conclusion of yours and go home
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going to start using this platform like twitter again and by that i mean posting relentlessly and going on rants in the tags
#original#everyone is getting meaner on there it's still fine for me because i mostly only have art in my#main feed on my main account but GOD#one of my favorite artists on there (the chill guy guy) got doxxed because he didnt want his work to be used in shitcoin scams#i know he's on here and other platforms but that was kind of one of the last straws for me because the block list under his posts were#getting to be way too much#like how and why is there so much hate in your heart#that & i saw this post that was like 'lollll this guys music taste is the WORST EVER!!!!!' and it was just like. pretty general coworker#music#just mean for the sake of being mean. not even up & arms bc i liked any of the artists really its just that. you are being rude asf#and blueskys like the opposite which you would think would be good but i cant really use the discover tab because if i scroll too long it#just starts showing me the most neoliberal slop EVERRRR#like. and this is my favorite example because of how dog it was#i saw a post that was like ACAB: Always Cary A Book! like ohhhhhhhh you cant be serious#and people sharing that graphic abt how the Least educated state voted red and the Most educated state voted blue#with the audacity to have 'democracy defender' in their bio like can you be fucking for real#and its the opposite of twitter because NO ONE ever disagrees with them there are too many posts where people just say shit like that and#no one says anything about it#'we avoid drama here' Okay dude some discourse is not always a bad thing#conservatives LOVE calling bluesky and echo chamber and as wrong as they r for their reasoning#........ theyre like. lowkey right. not that twitter or god forbid truth social arent the exact shit just the other way around. but like.#idk. there needs to be conversation in order to uphold a nuanced conversation#a lot of these self proclaimed 'democracy defenders' just dont see that which rrly brings into question their true level of activism#sorryyyyyyy okay rant over. but i did warn you. this was going to be a sims 4 post at first
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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1 month ago today my exes mom died is it too soon to tell him I unfriended him and ignored his message because I kind of think he raped me
#i never planned on telling him cuz honestly even tho i dont want him in my life anymore i dont know if what happened was actually rape#theres been a lot of debate over whether or not my specific situation was rape or what the feminists like to call “maintenance sex”#so it feels rather cheap of me to call it rape when our collective idea of rape is so much more sinister than what happened to me#but anyways i didnt want to talk to him about any of this because i dont know what to say about it and i think hes too sexist to listen#but i Did get a very funny and wholesome snap memory of him and one of my besties so i sent it to him#and thats how i found out he reached out to me exactly a month ago to tell me his mom died and to ask for support#which of course i cannot provide cuz i feel too conflicted about him to put aside my ego + i feel that he doesnt deserve that from Me anywa#see also my resistance to cutting him out of my life to the point that i didnt block him or delete all of his pictures#i didnt even get rid of all of his things i kept the sweater his mom gave him cuz i Knew she was going to die too soon#and i knew he would miss wearing this sweater which is the one from his favorite picture of him and his mom together#so not only is the context of this situation very ambiguous but also i dont really feel the way i think a rape victim is Supposed to feel#i mean i have my moments when i really think about it where im hurt and im angry and i cant help my reaction to it even years later#but otherwise im fine and even when it comes to him i was mostly chill and stayed with him for a year after it happened#so i dont feel i have any right to call it rape and yet it was definitely not consensual sex#and theres just no other word to describe ambiguously nonconsensual sex
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still thinking about how my friend said my dad looked like a yakuza last night like 😭😭 ??
#snap chats#i was showing her a pic i took of him when i saw him last month and she was just like#'oh he looks like a yakuza guy' HUH ??? like he is as tall as a typical rgg chara and ik i joke bout my dad lookin like daigo--#NO BUT THEN I SHOW HER A PIC /OF/ DAIGO AND SHES LIKE 'i dont see it' ?????????? LIKE SURE MY DADS BALD BUT#THAT THE CLOSEST COMPARISON you mkae no sense girl#its so funny she thinks my life revolves around yakuza And It Does but its so funny when she tries to equate stuff to it#like that event i went to last night was an ornament painting one and she was like#'oh why dont you make a yakuza ornament :) like uhhh arakawa and uhhhh that other guy'#FIRST OFF SHE STILL DOESNT REMEMBER SAWASHRIOVELKRVEJ BUT ALSO WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN#i mean lowkey in retrospect i could have made an arakawa family ornament but not the point#the point is my life isnt JUST YAKUZA KAYLA SHUT UP ????? LOL#i appreciate it tho. shes trying. /would be great if we finished y7 one day/#on that note. can i share the absolute joy i felt last night#like i said her favorite streamer's name is joe but we were hanging with a friend who didnt know about This Joe Guy#and so when my friend started talking about him the other friend was earnestly just 'who's joe'#and i have never felt such joy in saying 'joe mama' I HAD BEEN WAITING MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR THAT MOMENT#ITS LIKE WHEN I GOT UPDOG TO WORK ON MY OLD FRIEND LIKE PLEAAASE I DONT CARE IF ITS A DUMB JOKE#IM DUMB AND I LOVE DUMB JOKES i was so happy. the purest joy i felt ever#ok bye i guess i should get ready for class
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prev post well i scrolled once and realized it IS a moshi monster huge win for the moshi monster artstyle recognizers of the world
#verrry exciting. i never actualy got suepr into moshi monsters (didnt know there was an online game until last year) but i had the ds game#the carnival one. n rly loved it#and i hate a katsuma plush who was legit my favorite toy id take him with me everywhere. theres even this frankly very scary book i wrote#and illustrated (bc that used 2 be my favorite thjng t do.. i would staple paper together and judt write things like i had one abt natural#disasters explainjng them bc i loveddd natural disasters basicslly)#but anywyas. i wrote one abt katsuma listing all of katsumas favorite things n stuff. katsumas favorite food was STRAWBERRIES and he loved#hide and seek#speaking od hide and seek one time i was playing hide and seek with him u see. which means i was finding places to hide him#and then pretending to find him. and atp was when we livd in my grans house#so there was a pool table downstairs. andwell. i shoved him into one of the pool table holes#so imagine my shock and horror when i pulled him out and he was absolurely covered in like..black dust.#luckily there was a bathroom in the basement (my grandpa built it it was called the loo#) so i went in there and just. run water over him#and then wrapped him in a towel. and then tried to sneak past my.mom upstairs#bc she was on the couch and inws trying to get to my room. so i wrapped katsuma in a human sized towel and like. quickly ran up the atairs#and past my mom. and she was like. looking at the comically large bundle of towels in my hands. like Everything ok. and i was lke YES. and#ran to my room. idk why i was convinced id be in trouble if she found out i ..#got a toy dirty? n tried to wash it? but it ws very funny. thats my 2 biggest katsuma memories but i loved that guy. i took him 2 the#playgrounds we went to (my mom hd a fun game wed do where we would go to a new playground and then wed rate the playground based on certain#features like what all things it had how much fun we had how long we wanted tonsray etc. so whenever we were like trying to kill time in a#new town or something like rhat wed go and she always had th clipboard on her. so we would do that :]] and i liked to take katsuma and push#katsuma on the swings and down the slides and things of that nature
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Will this stay in my blog only? I don’t know I just really dislike tumblr, how do I even use this app, it’s scary and the people who draw my favorite characters all only post weird things, I have been jumpscared by odd posts of my favorites enough times I will delete this app and stay in my other socials, weirdos already suck online and it’s worse if I have to witness someone draw it out for me to see considering this is a art based app
#dontrespond#mini rant#dni post#leaving#i hate it here#i hate this app#this app is not sigma#I am lying lowkey#probably will comeback to post stupid stuff#lmfao should I spend my money ti see if I’m autistic or wtv like who even likes Nezumi actually?? are u /srs or /j#he had done such wrong I think I lowkey stopped liking him after I reread wrong park and saw he actually ordered his men to shoot nami’s si#I will come back for Jabra from one piece because he’s silly#I am making up tags on the spot I hope you all know#follow my TikTok before I get executed#today is my birthday guys btw haha I share a bday with the stupid rat from one piece who I totally didn’t have a fixation on#ew actually what no never mind Zoro is my goat because I’m a Zoro glazer#all my one piece side character favorites are odd#my own fixation disgusts me but whatever there are worse people out there with worse characters I mean look at all the Griffth defenders#if your my mutual and you read this no u didnt go away and forget everything you’ve read
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Do I "not know who I am" or am I just really insecure and am trying to find a mask to put over myself because despite my best efforts to avoid it, my human nature drives me to put an active effort into having a superficial reputation, rather than letting myself just be natural, and be content with myself without feeling the need to let strangers know who or what I could possibly be?
#Sorry im just contemplating everything lately.#i truly thought i had no idea who i wished to be.#and im still not exactly sure but i think im getting closer to the truth.#i always tried to mimmick my favorite fictional characters. and i still do it. and i dont think ill stop#but due to my obsession with mimicking characters i would find myself troubled as at times i didnt know WHICH character i wanted to mimic -#for a lot of characters i like are the complete opposite from each other.#(example: craig tucker from south park and Albert aretz (real person). i wish i were both sooo bad even though theyre completely different.)#at one poijt i had decided i will simply choose to mimic a character depending on my current mood.#but it doesnt fix mych and still puts me back to the same mentality of actively trying to put a mask for myself instead of simply being nat-#-ural me.#i realized i wished to be a caricature rather than a fully fleshed out three dimensional being.#i mean - who wouldnt? caricatures are so easily defined. im not. i sometimes feel as if i fit nowhere.#sorry went on a bit of a tangent there.#what i am trying to say is that i think i am going to stop and try actively trying to be like someone else.#i mean i CAN relate to both Craig tucker and Albert aretz. and i DO act like both depending on how i personally feel at the moment.#but i shouldn't put restrictions on myself or who i should be. and i shouldn't focus so much on trying ro he like them because it only incre#ases my deep envy of them.#anyway sorry.#tw vent#< maybe??
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Hii can I request any yandere JJK men with a reader whose on a hunger strike or refuses to be handfed by them? Ty ^.^
Yandere JJK react to y/n refusing them/not eating
Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji, (NEW) Sukuna (king ver of Sukuna)
AN: just reader being a lil bratty (real) also I just added Sukuna as a new character tehe. Tell me how it is 👀 however since he’s a yan I am making him softer towards y/n (but insaner towards other ppl yk?) also he’s a king in this one so
TW: starving, SLIGHT physical violence, threats, force feeding, tiniest bit of infantilization (gojo & Nanami)
Gojo:
No he won’t allow it.
He won’t allow you to act like a child and refuse to eat or drink. At this point he’s worried because you won’t do anything. Like a dead doll standing as still as possible to not be caught moving.
Nothing scares him. But you do.
So he took matters into his own hands and tied you up in a chair, hands to the armrests, legs to the feet of the chair, chest binded and rope littered all around the rest of your body tied to the helpless chair.
You screamed since you couldn’t kick, bit since you couldn’t hit, tried to refuse and refuse and he just didn’t know what to do. Seeing you hurt yourself, not eating as a protest to your involuntary stay, god it was torture to him. Like his own punishment.
At first he let it go. Tried to hand feed you your favorite snacks and placed a cup of cold water at your lips. And everytime you smacked it away from you. He watched your favorite snacks hit the floor and soil the carpet. The water spill and create a wet mess on the floor boards.
Why couldn’t you just be good and eat? Drink? Please stop refusing. At one point he almost started begging you. Hands at his chest, put together, eyes wide and sad, his mouth profusely spitting out begs and whines of how he just wanted you safe and healthy.
You didn’t listen.
You probably should’ve, or at least acknowledged his damn presence, because what he did next what’s unpredictable.
Tying you up in that chair and force feeding you. He made you your comfort food in hopes you’d actually want to eat it on your own. You didn’t. Which is fine. It just means he had to take extra precautions. His hand swirled the spoon of food around in the air, blowing raspberries as he said,
“Here comes the airplane!” As if you were some stupid child not wanting to eat your greens.
The spoon flew to your mouth but you moved your head to the side the only thing you could move, avoiding the spoon and it’s food.
His smile dropped just the tiniest bit but he continued his ministrations.
“Babe! Here comes the airplane Kay? Say ahh!” He announced once again in that awfully positive attitude, nudging the spoon at your lips, which you kept sewn shut.
“Come on babe, just open up~” but you didn’t, and he was getting impatient. “Babe?”
You didn’t look at him, didn’t dare open your mouth or even glance his way.
He snaps, grabbing your jaw and pinching your nose. You gasped, not being able to breathe, and without a second thought, that spoon of food was shoved into your mouth. He let go of your nose, and scooted his chair closer to yours.
“It’s good right? I added extra flavoring just for my girl. I know you like it that way.” He giggled, as if he didnt force the food down your damn throat.
“Here comes the choo choo train!” He whistled, and you realized that he enjoys babying you the way he does, even if it meant going against your will.
Geto:
This man does not play around either.
Coming home to you after a long day with what he calls “monkeys” just to see the untouched food still sitting on the table from when he made breakfast. He had brought take out- just to find out that you haven’t been eating in the first place.
He made that for you, took time out of his day to cook, make breakfast for you, the time where he’s normally busy. But alas, he cleans the dishes and runs up to your room and knocks on your door. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want him in he’ll come in anyway.
“I noticed you didn’t touch your plate. From this morning. It’s night now.”
Your stuffed into the sheets, messy covers over your body and head in your pillows. You don’t answer. You don’t think he deserves one.
“You haven’t eaten all week.”
He shuts the door behind him and storms towards you. It’s obvious that your silence is making him angry. Normally, you ignoring him doesn’t make him upset, he understands how you might feel…uneasy in this kind of situation. But hurting yourself? That’s not something he’ll allow or even tolerate.
He grabs the sheets and tugs them off of you, revealing your drained form. You groan and cover try to tug the sheets back to cover your body but he throws them to the floor and glared at you.
“You know why you’re so drained? It’s cause’ you won’t fucking eat.”
You don’t answer, you don’t want to answer. You just want the bed to swallow you whole, and the ground to open up so that you may fall into the abyss and disappear.
“I don’t want your fucking food.” You say, instead.
“Why not? Is it not to your liking?”
You grumble and glare up at him, finally lifting your face from the pillows.
“You’re not to my liking- Suguru I wanna go home-“ “enough!”
He cuts you off quickly, shutting you down almost immediately, which causes you to stuff your head back into the pillows.
He groans seeing this and slowly shuffled onto the bed with you. His mouth came down to your ear where he whispered
“If you don’t at least try to eat, I’ll make you.”
A shiver ran down your spine, you knew he wasn’t fibbing. You slowly got out of bed but he was quicker then you, pulling you out by your arm and sitting you up against the bed post.
He brought the takeout food and opened the bags of food on the bed, handing you a plate and utensil. You took it hesitantly and kept it on your lap. Not opening the food.
“Well?”
You shook your head. This was your way of protest, against him holding you captive, running a cult, being a damn curse user-
“You’re going to eat.” He demands, and you just shake your head and look to the side of you, away from him. You know he’ll force you- but you can’t help but refuse him anyway.
And without a second thought, he grabs the food then you, hoisting you into his lap without a single chance for you to fight back. One arm caging you in by your chest and arms, stopping any movement from you, the other bringing a spoon to your mouth.
“Eat, darling, or it’ll get worse from here.” A smile adoring his lips and licking the tips of your ear.
You finally take a bite of the food, his arm that basically were bruising your ribs to stop your movement finally unclenched around you and gave you a second to breathe.
“See? That wasn’t so hard. Now open up.”
Toji-
“Yer’ not eating your food.”
You’ve slumped down on the chair in front of him in the dining room, swirling around the water in your glass cup, the food in front of you untouched.
“I’m talking to you, doll.”
But you ignore him, watching the whirlpool or water in your cup, ignoring his very obvious angry presence.
“You haven’t eaten in days. You know what’s’ that gonna do to you? You’re gonna faint.”
You again ignore him and sigh, head resting on your hand that rested against the table.
“I’m talking to you.”
You don’t look up. You know it’s a lousy way to protest this invuluntary stay but you can’t think of anything else. He’s basically taken away any other form of protest you could ever possibly have, he’s controlling and fuck is he actually smart. His protectiveness on the kind of level where he made sure you could never fight back or hurt yourself in the process.
As your dazed, zoned out in your own thoughts, you don’t see him get out of his seat and grab you by your arm, forcing you up and off the seat and the floor.
“Didn’t yeah hear me?”
You wince at the fact your arm is being held above your head and you’re practically hanging from it.
“I heard you okay.. I’m not hungry.”
He huffs and puts you down. “Not hungry? It’s been days, doll. Days.”
You just shrug, rubbing your sore arm from being hanged up by it.
“If you don’t eat, I don’t mind feeding you like a baby bird. I’ll eat it up then force into your mouth with mine.”
“Y-you’re so crude, Toji..” You almost whine, disgusted by the thought.
“I’m not kidding.”
You sit back down at your seat, his eyes watching you pick up the fork and start to stab at your food.
“What did I say?”
“Okay okay.” You whine, finally sticking the fork in your mouth, making eye contact with him as you do, glaring at him.
“Tastes bad.” You whine.
“You little-“
Nanami-
Nanami is quite the patient man. You don’t want to get out of bed? Fine. You don’t want to shower? Fine. You don’t want to touch him? Fine. But you don’t want to eat or drink? That’s fucking pushing it.
When he first took you, he made sure you got all the proper nutrients you need, took care of your hygiene and made sure you were perfectly physically healthy.
He’s been putting down food at your nightstand for every meal, sometimes snacks in the middle of meals as well. He feeds you such a good amount that’s supposed to keep you full for every second of the day. Keep you satisfied. And pantries filled with your favorite snacks (the healthier versions, however), and a mini fridge with your favorite zero-sugar healthy drinks. With water, of course.
But you haven’t touched any.
He notices that every meal he puts down at your nightstand is untouched. You lay still in bed, so still he thinks you might be dead. Well you might be, with the absence of food eating at you.
And the pantry is untouched so is the mini fridge, and all the snacks he left for you in the middle of the days start to pile up.
At first he didn’t mind it. He got it, you might be nauseated or feel sick at the fact your away from home. That’s fine. He’ll give you time.
But then days go by.
And he just gets so worried about your health.
He encouraged you as much as he could but wouldn’t push it, he didn’t wanna scare you away. But at this point, it was just ridiculous. He watched from work, on his phone with the app that connected all his security cameras, watching as you hovered around the kitchen. He knew you were hungry. So why torture yourself?
At this point it was torturing him, not you. Well maybe that was the point to it. But he couldn’t take it anymore. He felt like a terrible caregiver. He was supposed to take care of you and protect you as your lover- that’s the damn reason he took you in, in the first place. So why couldn’t you see that? Why couldn’t he help you?
But Nanami is a good man, with zero bad intentions. So he decides first he can try bribing you. He makes your favorite dishes, the smell wafting in your room and up your nose. He places it at your nightstand, with your favorite cold drink next to it. The perfect combo. He does this for a while. No matter how hard the food is to make, whatever bullshit combination he needed to construct, however simple or complicated, he made it.
And yet you didn’t eat it.
He tried buying you material things, giving you extra little privileges like time in the garden or extra TV time, but you don’t even use them. You don’t even care.
And he can tell that you would, if you had the strength to. But you don’t, you’re weak. Probably because you’ve gotten so weak. But your hoping, your begging, that maybe he’ll see your weak body and finally get you some help. Maybe he’ll realize this is hurting not helping you, and he’ll let you go. You know the Nanami you’ve always known is deep down beneath the insecurity of his yandere self. You just need to find it right?
He got home that night. Late. His mind buzzed with work, eyes tired and body sore from constantly staying in his office chair, clicking the keyboard and staring at a screen. He’s been looking into a job for jujutsu sorcerers- but he thinks that’ll take too much time away from you.
He dragged his body into the house, closing the door behind him and quietly yelling out, “Sweetheart, I’m home.”
He hoped you’d flock to the door and he’d feel your warmth- but obviously that was just a dream to him and you never did so. Staying hidden away in the your room or wherever you were.
He decided to prepare a late dinner for the both of you, hoping some time together could encourage you to eat.
He dragged his body to your room. He just needed you, needed your warmth, your kindness, your loving presence and any kind of physical and emotional attention you could give him.
But as he opens the door to your room, he sees the breakfast he left on your. NIght stand, still left untouched.
“Sweetheart. This has gone too long. I respect all your decisions, and that you might be upset with me, but I need you to eat.”
Your wrapped up in the sheets, ignoring him, face stuffed in your white pillows.
“Honey, dear. Please, look at me.”
You can hear the desperation in his voice, the almost begging in his timid voice that almost makes you choke.
You look up at him, soft dead eyes staring up at his concerned ones.
“I made your favorite meal again. I know you don’t want to eat, but can you at least come sit at the table with me?”
You know this is his soft way of trying to convince you. And you also know that he wants you to sit at the table so he can feel like you two are an actual couple not one from hell.
You get up, which makes him sigh of relief. Thinking that you’re giving him a chance. Obviously, that’s not your idea, but you’ll let him think so.
He gently takes your hand, leading you downstairs to the dining table. You see he decorated, putting candles on the table, brought out the fancy silverware and china, the wine glasses and table cloths that matched the fabric of the silk pillows on the cushioned chairs.
“Sit, my love.” He pulls your chair for you, with a gentle smile. You can see the relief in his eyes when you sit, and he pushes you in.
You’d be flustered by such a gentlemanly move if it wasn’t for the situation you were currently in.
He sits in front of you and pops open the white wine, the insanely expansive white wine, pouring some in both of your glasses, he raised his up to yours, in which you ignored, and he clinked his glass with yours.
“Ready to try? I simply perfected the recipe-“
You place a spoonful of food in your mouth, before spitting it out right at him, shocking him and making yourself laugh for the first time in so long.
You soiled his expensive blouse, the shock of your behavior making him spill his wine, his eyes wide and looking down at his ruined blouse, then to you, then to the spilled wine, then to you.
You just giggle, smirking in victory at his dazed response and how you won’t let yourself be pushed around by him.
But what you don’t expect, is for this extremely caring gentlemanly man to slam down the cloth from on his thighs down at the table, getting up as he unloosed his tie.
“I’m done.”
And your smile drops in a way that makes you realize you won. He’ll let you go, he’s finally done with you he’s gonna let you go-
“If you want to act like a child I will simply treat you like one, until you can behave like an adult.”
Your eyebrow raises at that. What? Wait what?
He throws his tie off his neck, grabbing your hands and tying them up. You try to fight him off you but he’s strong, he didn’t even try.
He leaves, and your relieved, a little scared that he left you tied but at least the mad man is gone. But then he comes back with a toddlers seat. A fucking child booster seat.
Your eyes widen as you realize what he meant. “N-no no way! I’m not sitting in that- I won’t even fit-“
“You know I bought this.. I bought this hoping our first child could use it..” he sighs. “But I guess you can be the test drive..”
“N-no! Your crazy! Your insane! I won’t even fit in it I won’t!”
“You don’t have a choice.” He cuts you off. “I’m tired of watching my love kill themselves off just because you’re upset. You can be upset just don’t hurt yourself.”
He places the child’s booster seat next to you, at the table.
“You either eat, or fucking sit here and I’ll feed you. Well? Do you want a baby bottle too?”
Sukuna:
Catching the eye of someone so murderous and evil is just the most hell filled unfortunate thing that can happen to you.
And it did.
You found yourself being coddled and “loved” by a monster. He’s pure evil, and you’re his. There’s no denying it. You’re the chosen one.
As his maids touch up your hair, give you a manicure, clean your face of the tears and blood from biting your lips, you stare at them with desperation in your eyes.
Save me.
You think, but they won’t. They’re loyal.
Sure, Sukuna hasn’t done anything actually bad to you, but he’s locked you up, like a princess in a tower. You hope that your prince in shining armor will save you, that he’ll come running with his horse and sword, armor and shield in hand.
But he never does. And if he did, you’d never know because Sukuna probably killed him before he even got a chance to get a glimpse of your pearly eyes.
A maid brushes your hair. You think. He’s taken away all your forms of protest.
When you stopped taking care of yourself, that was fine, he ordered his maids to wash your hair and clean your body, do your skincare and paint your nails. Even go as far as to brush your damn teeth.
They’d use expensive amounts of creams and moisturizers, the kind even the bourgeoisie couldn’t afford. Perfumes from across the land and hair oils from different kingdoms.
All these things, just for you.
When you didn’t want to get out of bed, see the sun, he made sure you were made to get that vitamin D every morning, a small stroll before and after breakfast in the garden, with of course, the guards watching you.
He pampered you, without even being there. Made sure you were healthily entertained with your favorite books and games, all your devices you humans use to take up time. He even brought a festival worth of people to greet you when he took- when you came. Circuses, fire crackers, acrobats, all those to welcome you into his palace.
And you took it all with a grain of rice.
You didn’t want to be here, you didn’t mean to pique his interest. But you did. And now your stuck. You even heard the townspeople whisper of how the man who forced everyone on their knees to worship him is now worshiping you. A mere boring human.
So you decided to find your own way to protest, something he can’t force you to do or make other people do for you.
Eat.
You sat at the large dining table, him on the long other side, watching as he ate, watching him with no love or adoration in your eyes. While he would hold the stars for you. He’d bring them down for you if you asked.
“Well? Is it not to your liking?” You hear him slur from his side of the table.
“No.” You know this is dangerous. The cruel king, he could have your head.
“What’s not to your liking? I’ll have it changed.”
You shove the plate away from you. “It’s all bad, I don’t wanna eat.”
Maybe you should’ve used different words, different wording to your protest because Sukuna simply didn’t understand it was a form of protest.
“It’s that terrible? Very well. Servants, carry the chef who decided to cook my woman this rechid food and have him publicly executed.”
Your eyes widen with dismay and shock and you look at him. “What? Executed?”
“What? What did you expect, woman? Anyone who feeds my soon to be queen something not up to par, they shall be ridden with shame. With, or without their head.”
He says it with such a nonchalant attitude, as if he isn’t talking about death.
“I-I no. It’s not bad, actyally. Hah. I just meant.. I wasn’t hungry.” You try to solve this mess you accidentally dragged others into.
“Your dramatic show of disgust was simply because you aren’t… hungry?”
He looks at you almost confused, the big plates of foods surrounding him. He had a surplus of hunger, the kind of hunger only you can satisfy.
“I… I apologize.” You think about giving up on your plan, you don’t want to drag people into this, have them hurt because of you. “I just.. actually prefer your food.” You lie.
“My food?” He smirks. The maids and servants look around in fear, some even annoyance, expecting your head to fly off and blood to soil the floors after you basically asked to share food-his food, with you.
“Very well then. You may sit close and satisfy your belly with my food.”
He pats the seat close to him, different from the seat your sitting at now, far from Sukuna. Everyone stares at you with bewildered shock, that the cruel Sukuna is willingly sharing his meal with you, that he hasn’t offed you or anyone else in his vicinity for your request.
You waddle over to him, sitting next to him, and he watches you try a piece of meat, lamb, off one of his large family plates, as if asking for your approval, to see if you like it.
You hum, the food is actually prepared amazingly well, a lot better then the streets of the poor sides of town you had to buy your meat from.
He nods at you, and continues to finish his meal as well, practically clawing and savagely ripping apart the food at his hands, like some animal.
Everyone’s always been afraid of the way he eats, as if he’s ripping apart someone’s flesh and bones, but to you it’s kind of pathetic. Like a little puppy and its chew toy, slobbering over its bone. Instead of saying this however (which he’d have your head for), you go for taking a small folded table cloth napkin and wipe the blood from the flesh of his food off his cheek, cleaning off the smeared gore that he doesn’t seem to notice.
He looks down at you, huffing as a sign of appreciation at your small sign of affection, and you look back up at him with the same look.
You hate this cruel man, the man who’s killed hundreds and hurt people and hurt you. Who stole you.
But as you look up at him, the folded napkin in your hand still poking at his dirtied cheek, you can’t help but think that perhaps the cruel king and the prince in shining armor are the same person.
And that’s Sukuna for y���all 😈😈🔥 guys why did I accidentally make his fluffy what
#yandere#fluff#geto suguru#gojo satoru#jjk fluff#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu geto#jujutsu kaisen#nanami kento#jjk#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu satoru#yandere jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#jjk toji#jjk gojo#jujutsu nanami#yandere jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu sorcerer#jujutsu sukuna#yandere toji#yandere geto#yandere gojo#yandere nanami#gojo fluff#jjk x you#jjk geto#jujutsu kiasen
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soooo I wrote this for the art god @devotion-disorder because
1- they're one of my favorite artists ever!!!!!!! And they're someone who portrays yanderes in such a 😙🤌 chef's kiss way that I can't help but admire
2- I am obsessed with their oc kuuya
but if you'd rather I delete it, just let me know!!
Warnings: NSFW, yandere behavior, unhealthy obsession !!! Minors DNI !!!
Part 2 of this fic here <3
The skin on the nape of your neck prickled, making you shiver at the strange sensation.
The steady gaze outside your window was so piercing and unmoving that it could be as sharp as needles nicking your skin.
Although, if you were to be fully honest, it felt more like a knife.
It would be just another night, if it wasn't for the fact that your co-worker lurked outside your house.
"Kuuya", you mouthed his name, just to feel how it moves against your lips, because you could never really say it during daytime without having him spiral headfirst into a meltdown.
Kuuya was a disaster.
He never talked to you.
You would sometimes catch him staring at you during work, which made him blush like an anime schoolgirl, but that was the extent of his interaction with you.
He was a regular employee, didn't stand out much, nor caused problems. He was just... there. Constantly looking exhausted, with his back hunched and in the verge of a mental breakdown.
And you were so attracted to that mess of a man.
Your friends would probably frown and sigh if they knew, but they were also pretty much aware of your type: sickly victorian-looking men, anemic, with extremely dark circles under their eyes, who probably sneeze a lot and shake like chihuahuas.
And, hey, that was Kuuya to a T. How could you not have a crush on him?
You soon realized, however, that he probably had a few screws loose.
It started slow, a few things going missing. First it was a pen, then some of your hair ties, then old post-it notes you had forgotten about, until their absence reminded you of their existence.
These things were inconsequential.
You wouldn't even notice their disappearance, if it wasnt for the fact that one day you saw Kuuya with a fluffy hair tie that looked way too similar to yours to be a coincidence. It even had the same little star charm that yours had.
And then you noticed the pens, carefully placed inside a cup near his computer.
And the erasers, the post-its, the pencils, all the other office appliances that you were pretty sure were yours.
But they weren't, right?
That was just your fertile imagination playing tricks on you.
Right?
One day, just to erase this silly idea from your head – I mean, you were probably just paranoid – you waited until you saw Kuuya take a break from his assignments and make his way to the bathroom.
You observed through the corner of your eyes how he stared at you while making his way to the other side of the office, anxiously shaking your leg as you mentally egged him to hurry up and go to the damn toilet.
As soon as you were sure he was inside and you were out his sight, you bolted towards his desk, earning a few pissed off glances from your other coworkers.
You had to work quickly though, since you didnt know how long he would take to come back. Looking over your shoulder constantly, you opened the drawers under his desk, searching for something and feeling silly all the while (what if you're the crazy paranoic one for real?), until your hands haphazardly touched some papers and you heard the sound of crinkles.
Looking over your shoulder one more time to make sure he wasn't around, you lifted the papers and mouthed a silent "oh." as you saw what was underneath them.
Dozens and dozens of candy wrappers, discarded notes and even more of those old post-its laid organized in what you could say was impeccable fashion, if it wasnt for the fact that it was all trash.
Your trash.
In the back, you saw some plastic bags with questionable contents, but your anxiety was in an all time high and you decided to just put things back were they were and close the drawer.
You had your confirmation. He WAS crazy and you were still paranoid, but at least you were right.
You made way back to your desk and sighed, sitting down.
Conflicted feelings pooled in your gut.
You knew all of that meant that he was indeed crazy and obsessed and potentially dangerous, but also... you couldn't really deny the excitement that made butterflies fly all around in your stomach and the giddy feeling that made your heart race with expectations – of what, you didn't know.
And as these feeling swarmed you, you failed to realize the pair of eyes that were locked tight onto your figure from the very start.
If Kuuya could properly express his feelings, he would be moaning and whining in pure despair.
They saw everything. They saw where he keeps all his treasures he had been collecting for the past months.
But why?! Why did they even think about looking for that? Has Kuuya been acting too obvious? But he made sure he wouldn't be too creepy! Well, at least not as creepy as he truly wanted to be. How was that happening all of a sudden?!
The taste of copper interrupted his mental breakdown and he looked down at his thumb, where tiny droplets of blood appeared after he anxiously chewed it.
"It's okay, it's fine" he kept repeating in his mind, like a mantra. He'd just need to see how you'd act around him after that.
If you stopped interacting with him (even if most of those interactions were just good mornings and good evenings coming from YOU), he would probably just... end it all for once. Or maybe kidnap you so you wouldn't run away. Whatever crossed his mind first.
With his heart beating loud on his chest, Kuuya walked back to his seat and forced himself to work, spreadsheets and numbers flashing on his mind, unnoticed.
All he could think was of your hands rummaging through his drawers.
Oh god, your hands touched his things.
Kuuya exhaled sharply, rubbing his thighs together to alleviate the sudden discomfort in his groin. What would he do if you never even looked at his direction again? Sure, you could even report him to the HR, but not being able to see you was a fate worse than being fired!
His mind tumbled, wandering through every worst scenario possible, and in his despair, he didn't notice it was already time to clock out.
"Good evening, Kuuya." You say as you pass by him, nodding your head, with a tight smile.
'Huh?'
Kuuya stares at nothing in front of him, until the fact that you talked to him registers in his mind.
'HUH?'
You talked to him?
Wait.
Did you really see what was in his drawers? Was he just hallucinating? No, there's no way he was. He saw how your colleagues stared at you when you ran to his table. They SAW you. Just like he did. So you saw everything. And you don't hate him? What the fuck. You don't find him disgusting? What? What the hell.
He didn't understand.
He couldn't understand.
He had to understand.
And so, he led himself towards your house, hiding in the bushes right in front of your bedroom window.
How lucky was he that you didn't live in an apartment building?
He was there to understand you better. Just for that. And it'd be just this time, he swore. Just to see what was up with you.
His breath was ragged and heavy and his cheeks burned red. He bit his bottom lip tightly to keep any moan from escaping as he palmed himself through his pants, while he watched the way you stripped yourself of your work clothes.
Quickly undoing his belt buckle and his pants, he let himself be completely overtaken by pure lust and began pumping his dick mercilessly as he was graced with just a little bit more of your skin, right in front of him.
He saw you sigh as you got rid of your pants and his eyes rolled back, imagining how you'd sound if he was the one taking your clothes off.
Oh, what would he give to be able to jump through your window and grab one of your dirty clothes and get drunk on your scent...
The thought made him buck his hips forward clumsily, and he gritted his teeth, hard.
Well, fuck.
He panted, while he observed the way his cum dripped from the leaves of the bush, and as coherent thoughts started flowing back to his mind, he suddenly hoped he wasn't moving too much to catch your attention.
You hadn't even looked his way, so he was safe, right?
Right?
You rubbed your thighs together as you kept your back turned to the window. The windowpane was open, in order to allow the wind to flow through your bedroom, and due to this little fact, you could hear a faint sound coming from the plants right in front of your window.
A quiet, almost indiscernible (if you weren't paying close attention) plap plap plap sound.
You bit your lip to keep your grin from spreading through your lips.
The dumbass was masturbating! Right there! Right in front of your room!
You sighed, feeling the heat pool in between your legs, but controlled your instinct to pull him out from wherever he was and fuck him silly in your bedroom.
You desired him so fucking much. You thrived in his attention, like a sunflower leaning towards rays of light.
The thing is: while you loved his obsession, you were also deathly afraid that he would lose interest in you as soon as he found out how much you also wanted him.
Much like a cat who discards a prey. Except this cat was wet, sad, pathetic and still, you were ridiculously eager to keep playing dead so he would put his grimy, sticky little paws on you just a little bit more.
How would Kuuya feel, you wondered, if he knew you were as obsessed with him as much as he was with you?
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slim pickins
warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing
masterlist | p. 2
no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake
word count; 1911
summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.
thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.
they are all taken. its plain and simple.
which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.
i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.
and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.
needless to say pope had to drag her away.
after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.
"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.
"im good with whatever"
i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.
"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.
"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.
i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.
he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.
he walks so slow for being 6'3.
and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again
"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.
"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.
"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."
"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.
jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"
and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.
"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.
jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.
but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.
"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.
"in your dreams honey."
"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.
now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.
watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.
random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.
unless theyre with jj.
but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.
is that a bit dramatic? probably.
i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.
so of course im not going to date him, why would i?
what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!
"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."
"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.
he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."
curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.
when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.
he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'
"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face
i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"
"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."
"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."
"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."
"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."
he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"
"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."
we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.
"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."
"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"
"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."
"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."
"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.
just like it does every other time.
i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.
jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.
"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"
john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"
oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"
jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.
"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"
"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.
"are you gonna put me down now?"
he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.
"youre a pervert."
"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"
oh im gonna kill him...
oh wait! im gonna kill him!
"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.
he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."
i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.
"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."
it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.
its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.
i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"
and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.
"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.
just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.
"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."
"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.
am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.
but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x gn!reader#outer banks x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fics#outerbanks x reader#outerbanks fics#my writing <3#short n sweet#short and sweet#fic recs <3#mama needs her jj#jj maybank need you by my side
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heaven - PIASTRI - final part
pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams + pinterest)
summary: on the 2 year anniversary of oscars first win in f1, everyone’s favorite couple has a surprise
type: social media au (smau)
note: well this is it!! the final part to heaven!! this ending has always been the plan and im so pleased i can finally post it, this win has been a longgg time coming and i am super stoked for oscar!!! obviously not the best race (esp for mclaren fans) but we got through it and oscar won!!!! super duper proud of my mclaren boys and i cant wait to see many more 1-2 with them!!
i honestly cant believe this is the last part to this series, this was one of the first fics i ever posted and its crazy how far its come!! to this day i get notifs that people have found the first part to this series and it blows my mind how big this has gotten. i know ive been inactive for a long time but i hope by finally finishing this fic i will find love for creating fics again!!!! love u all🩵
heaven masterlist masterlist
set 2026
youruser
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 11,629 others
two years ago my best friend asked me to marry him, i said yes immediately. how could i say no to spending the rest of my life with someone i love so deeply?
today marks 6 months of him being my husband and i feel so incredibly blessed to be able to call him that, to be able to say that someone i love, loves me back just as much
but today is also the anniversary of my boys first win, which seems crazy now that he has many more under his belt but its true, its been two years since that crazy day in hungary and one that changed us forever
i have grown so much in the time we have been together and im so pleased i was able to do it with you, osc. i love you forever and always!
tagged oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri my favorite forever🤍
oscarpiastri marrying you was the best decision i have ever made
youruser my boy🌟🌟
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oscarpiastri
liked by youruser, logansargeant and 1,382,003 others
i cant believe i get to call this gorgeous girl my wife, and i’ll be able to do so for the rest of our lives
you had never shone as brightly as on our wedding day, however youve continued to shine ever so bright since and i hope it never goes away, seeing you happy and content makes me feel like the luckiest man alive
thank you for saying yes all those years ago and thank you for trusting me with your heart, ill love you forever and always
your osc x
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youruser i love you so much osc
youruser you mean the world to me
landonorris congrats mate x
logansargeant i miss you guys :(
youruser we miss you too logie!!! we’ll be home soon and we will take you to dinner!!
logansargeant oscarpiastri promise?
oscarpiastri we promise
georgerussell63 happy for you both!
frederikvestiofficial come back soon i think logans withering away
oscarpiastri he’ll be fine for a few more days🙄
logansargeant nu huh!! i cant last much longer☹️
user66 oh my god she looks gorgeous 🥹🥹
oscarpiastri she is
user72 YOUR OSC😭😭😭😭
user6 im never getting over them☹️
user91 THEYRE MARRIED☹️☹️😭😭
user10 remember when yn said they werent getting married yet because they still had so much growing to do,, look at them now☹️
user47 i feel like everyones being too calm, WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW THEY WERE ENGAGED?!?!!?!
user64 LIKE WHY ARE WE NOT MORE SHOCKED
user22 bcs they are written in the stars and we all knew this was going to happen!!! liked by youruser
user30 yn with all the little babes oh i cant do this🥹🥹 liked by oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri
liked by youruser, lewishamilton and 1,392,027 others
17.01.2026
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lewishamilton so happy for you mate, it was a gorgeous ceremony💜
logansargeant my favorite people in the whole world
oscarpiastri we love you
logansargeant 🥹🥹 (i love you guys too)
youruser my boy forever and ever and ever
oscarpiastri 🤍🤍
landonorris you guysss😕😕
youruser love you lan!!!!
youruser
liked by oscarpiastri, yourmum 11,483 others
a story told in many parts💐
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pinned youruser to osc, my best friend, my love, my husband i will love you until the end of time. i will hold your hand through everything and more, until death do us part x
youruser added to their story
story song added heaven by niall horan text reads: my 🏠
seen by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 12,472 others
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user72 OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD
user19 I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU TWO 😔😔😔😔
user63 ur literally perfect for eachother wtfwtfwtf
user90 I FEEL SICK THIS IS SO CUTE
user6 oscar is so sweet🥹🥹
youruser the sweetest!!!!
#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#social media au#formula 1 insta au#formula 1 social media au#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#oscar piastri x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x you#oscar piastri#★ 81folklore#★ private oscar#f1 insta au
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