#he didn't just leave Shannon when he enlisted

[lover-of-mine]

Unresolved feelings for someone in his past. Eddie's highschool guy best friend boyfriend he had complicated feelings for showing up lol. In all seriousness, I don't think that's not about Shannon. Not directly, not yet. I'd say someone from the army, maybe? Or even, like, legit someone who knew him as a teenager. Maybe a friend from school?

[nicolegendary]

gonna say something. I think shannon resented eddie. I don't think eddie ever ever resented her. not up until after she died and even then it's more like he's trying to resent her because he knows he should. but I think shannon resented getting pregnant young and married young and being left alone to try to raise a newborn with just in-laws that hated her and she resented eddie re enlisting and she resented his ptsd and she resented losing her youth and freedom and when she got away to take care of her mom and she got a TASTE of getting herself back she grabbed onto it with both hands and she felt guilty but she just couldn't let it go. and she showed up again when eddie called because she missed her son and knew she should be there for him but the second shes back eddie is trying to trap her back into this same prison and of COURSE she asks for a divorce. of course she doesn't leave eddie a letter. ''my son and his mom'' ''is that all i am'' Shannon wanted to be her own person! eddie always compares him and shannon leaving but it's not the same he didn't leave he just delayed showing up because he was a kid and scared and had the option of staying away. she LEFT and she stayed GONE and she asked for a divorce. she resented losing her agency over her own life. the only time she got to LIVE was when she got out from under being his wife and being his kid's mom (the resentment is not about chris, it's never about chris). and then she dies so of course she never got to have that freedom anyway. she lived just long enough for eddie to find out how much she didn't want to be there.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Okay I've settled on my head canon which is that Eddie is bi (or some version of "likes women and men"), too... I need to ramble about it because this popular idea that Eddie is gay just bothers me tbh it just feels ignorant, bi erasurery. And sure, maybe I'll be proven wrong, but in the mean time...

I think the reason why Eddie just can't be happy with the women he's pushing himself to date is because he's only really ever been drawn, and loved, two people: Shannon and Buck.

And these women he's since dated... are neither of those people. So the other relationships are just... fake, unhappy. Not because of sexual incompatibility, but because they're loveless, on Eddie's part.

The romance with Shannon started as a teen-age romance. They were childhood friends and lovers, but they were too young and immature to really handle the stress of parenthood, and despite that, pushed into a marriage.

It was too much for this young, immature, love to survive. Them freaking out and not being a team.... That just started to hack away at their mutual trust, and that eventually killed the romance, and the marriage. This immature love just could not handle all this pressure, and co-exist with that dying trust.

And then, Eddie meets Buck when his and Shannon's marriage is on a break. She's runs, is away for a long time, Eddie is raising Chris alone... And Buck steps in.

And Buck is insanely helpful, a major stress relief -letting Bobby know that Eddie is struggling to find a caretaker for Chris. Researching for ways to help Eddie... He finds Carla to help them. Buck takes one look at Christopher and melts, wants to spend time with them... Eddie thinks "Woah. This guy is amazing. This is someone I can count on, who has my back."

So Eddie just moved on from Shannon. He did love her once... but then they killed their love and marriage, together. Mutual destruction.

Eddie didn't trust her anymore, she didn't trust him after he'd enlisted in a panic to run from the parenthood, from Christopher's diagnosis... they were fighting all the time... and then she just left him alone with Chris.

And I refuse to demonize her for leaving btw, she was young, under a lot of stress, and Eddie was running from his parenthood. Eddie needed that push, to take responsibility, and connect with Chris!!

But still.. She left, Eddie was hurt and alone, and really doesn't trust her anymore, and then he meets Buck.

So Eddie moves on. His and Shannon's romantic love just... dies. And when she finally tries to re-connect. Yes, he still finds her desirable, and the human bond is still an important one. But where's the love?

They've known each other since they were children, they're friends, Shannon is Christopher's mother. But Eddie no longer really loves her like he once did. He tries. He forgives her, for everything, and really tries to mend their marriage, even proposes again after finding out she may be pregnant...

But it's just too late for both of them, they don't really work as a couple, and she realises she is tired of this battle, she is done.

Shannon leaving.... this made Eddie move on from her, even though he tried to deny it, even to himself. By leaving, Shannon gave the final killing blow to their already fractured mutual trust. Then she was gone for a long time, and when she finally came back, Eddie had already moved on, connected with someone else. She even says this - I was away for too long.

She realises that their marriage dead. She is shocked when Eddie keeps pushing her away from Chris, realises their mutual lack of trust. And she finally admits to herself that she doesn't really want to get back together with Eddie.

Eddie is dragging his feet, not really accepting her back, keeps looking for a "sign" that would say they should have another serious go as partners. Only proposes after there's another pregnancy scare.

Shannon thinks, this marriage is too broken, I want out. We both deserve something better than this. So it is a story of falling in love, and falling out of love.

And then she dies, and Eddie grieves, deeply. He did love Shannon, even though their marriage was a failure. He'd loved her in so many ways. She was his friend, she was his wife, she was Christopher's mother.

However, I do feel like the reason why he struggles to date after Shannon's death is a combination of grief - being afraid to try again with anyone... and it's denial of his feelings for Buck, and also fear that what if... This happens again, what if he loves and they leave. I think the key problem here really is Buck.

Eddie has already fallen for someone, and tries to deny it, ignore it. He thinks this is a road that would take him nowhere, so why try. He thinks Buck is straight!

So he starts pushing Buck away because this odd family unit they have...? Where is it going really, he thinks, Buck doesn't want him.

This line, said to Buck:

"Somehow we became a ready-made family and I... I don't know if I'm ready for that."

It's grief for Shannon, and it's unrequited love for Buck, and it's about being unable to love Ana because of those both massive things stopping Eddie from being able to connect with her.

Remember.... that Buck starts the thing with Taylor before Eddie starts dating Ana?

Eddie, looking like a zombie, hosting Buck and Taylor, telling Buck that he needs to move on, Eddie has. (Yeah it's a lie.)

And remember all these talks about Eddie needing to move on, before he goes on dates?

This is Eddie, trying to move on, and find his third family unit.

The scene with Eddie and Buck when they've just met, Buck bragging that "some of us don't need good lighting to look good..."

And then Eddie at the fire station, looking at Buck, forgetting to introduce Ana to everyone, realising his mistake and saying to Ana;

"Oh, you've never been here!"...

Because she wasn't, Buck's presence just erases her from Eddie's mind, it's like she isn't even in the same room.

It's true, Eddie realises. Buck really doesn't need good lighting to look good, not to Eddie.

"Even in the dark, this place is amazing."

It's terrible, but disturbingly true for Eddie. This feeling, of existing in the darkness, alone, and watching someone who just doesn't need good lighting to look amazing. They just glow anyway, overwhelmingly, they just erase everyone else from your mind.

I feel like this symbolizes deep, unrequited love really well. Even in the dark this place is amazing.

So Eddie keeps struggling. He won't let Buck close because that's killing him, but he also can't let go of him. He's just ...always dying.

And then Buck comes out to him? It's a shock. It's a brief moment of dumb, wide-eyed hope.

But then Eddie immediately realizes... This changes nothing. Buck is dating someone else. Buck is falling for someone else. Buck is still... Just a friend.

Nothing has changed for Buck, and therefore not for Eddie either. Eddie is still alone in this. And keeps dying.

So... The point I'm trying to make here.

I feel like this struggle we're seeing, it's not about Eddie being gay. He fell for Shannon, they agreed the sex was never the problem.

Even this new relationship with Marisol. He does feel sexual desire for her... Their sex life is great... Until he learns that she was almost a nun? Imagine being in the closet, bi, and realising your girlfriend was almost a nun?

It's truly "eyes on the ground". Would she still want her, if she really knew who, or what, Eddie is? Would she be disgusted if she learned about all of Eddie's fantasies?

How can Eddie trust her?

So... That's what making him run from Marisol. I do think he's making a genuine effort to move on from his old flames - Shannon and Buck.

I mean... Remember Eddie's talk with his tia? Learning that she had been married before, and refusing to even try dating someone else, until her friends dragged her out?

And ultimately this made her move on, meeting someone else. And soon she didn't regret trying again.

So Eddie is trying to move on from Shannon, and Buck.

But can he? Is he?

One thing about Buck's coming out, and the following scene, the talk with Eddie...

Noticed the buddie subtext, and the bisexual subtext of the lines when he talks about Marisol there? About needing to go home.

The "menu" is not the issue. The issue is that he doesn't want to go home, to Marisol. (Lol, there's btw that bicycle again, hanging on the wall behind Eddie's back. Bi subtext!!)

Eddie does desire her. ... He just doesn't love her. And that keeps happening... Because his heart is already taken.

[the-bitterest-breakups-poll]

Poll: Round 1c #2

[Image ID. And image of Eddie and Shannon from 9-1-1 sitting together. Shannon is on the left and Eddie is on the right. And an image of The Locked Tomb books covered edited together. End ID]

*Reminder that Break up is being used loosely here and not all relationships may be romantic in nature

Propaganda under cut"

Eddie and Shannon:

They only got married because she was pregnant and he booked it to Afghanistan to financially support her without having to actually face his relationship fears (breakup 1, while they're not only dating but married), he comes back for their kid's birth and immediately re-ups, now also because of his fears about fatherhood (breakup 2, married with newborn), and leaves his wife with his controlling parents and mom with cancer who lives states away as her only support system. gets shot, comes home, can't handle his controlling parents on top of his PTSD, which, newsflash, neither can she, so when he says they can't move to take care of her now dying mom, she up and leaves in the middle of the night (breakup 3, girl power). his parents are awful about her and try to take custody of his disabled son, so he books it to the state his wife lives in to preserve both their autonomy and what's left of their family unit but does not contact her until a school with stellar supports for his son needs to interview her because they're not actually divorced and then they start fucking in secret (messy!! Messy, messy, MESSY!!!). He lets her back into their son's life for Christmas, they're technically back together, they have a pregnancy scare but it's fine, he proposes again (while comparing their relationship to being drowned) and she asks for a divorce (breakup 4) and then gets hit by a car in an intersection and dies on the scene (breakup 5, actual end of relationship). Her last words are about how she was leaving their son again. THERE IS NO GREATER MESS THIS SHIT IS BAKED ON CAKED ON NO AMOUNT OF PINK GOO CAN GET IT OFF

They got together in high school then got married because she was pregnant. After they were married he joined the military and went to Afghanistan (ostensibly to provide for their family but by his own admission because he wanted to get away), at one point re-enlisting against her wishes. When he did come back (only after being injured), SHE left to take care of her terminally ill mother and didn't come back for over a year, at which point she and Eddie began to sleep together again, but he initially kept her hidden from their son because he didn't trust her. He refused to even discuss this with her until she publicly confronted him at work. He does let her around their son again, but the only time we see Shannon and Eddie together again, they're fighting. They later have a pregnancy scare, which prompts him to "re-propose" to her. She instead FINALLY asks for a divorce. And then she gets hit by a car and dies for some reason. I realize this is more of a messy marriage than a messy breakup but personally I think their whole relationship was just a messy breakup in slow motion.

Mercymorn the First/Augustine the First/Emperor John Gaius:

-M-- and A-- were John's closest companions before the apocalypse, then they were killed by a bunch of cultists who betrayed him, then he STARTED A NUCLEAR WAR AND KILLED ALL LIFE IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM just because he was mad some trillionares manipulated everyone, then he brought them back to life but with new names and their memories erased to be his disciples because he didn't think they would agree with his actions, then eventually he had them kill the other most important people in their lives to gain immortality and also more attention for him, thousands of years later they have a threesome and steal his sperm to give it to a terrorist leader (who's in a different threesome) to make a baby to kill and use as a bomb, then 20 years later the threesome returns as a distraction so a lobotomized teen can kill their coworker, then eventually he finds out they betrayed him, Mercymorn kills him but he comes back immediately and kills her, then he turns around and offers Augustine complete forgiveness despite also trying to kill him, Augustine refuses and throws the whole space station into a metaphysical river to trap John/"god" in Hell, but his apprentice saves John instead of him so he goes to Hell instead, then John is a wreck, leaves basically an evil child in charge of his empire, and sleeps around with his army for presumably a whole book

Okay SO. buckle up. (Also, HUGE TLT SPOILERS AHEAD.) John Gaius is god. Mercy and Augustine are 2/3 of his remaining saints. They have a terrible, millennia-long polycule (that at one point resulted in Mercy and Augustine stealing God’s jizz to try and kill him—that’s off topic tho.) Mercy and Augustine eventually attempt to kill him again after learning he tricked them into killing their best friends ten thousand years ago. And they all try to kill each other : )

John Gaius is God, and Mercymorn and Augustine are the first and second of his Saints. They're intensely close. Like, they've been together for ten thousand years, they've had at least one threesome, and they were best friends in their previous lives before that. The thing is, Mercy and Augustine sort of suspect that John is lying to them, so they hatch a plan to figure out what he's not telling them. Which turns out to be a LOT. They try to kill him, he kills them instead, and then he spends the whole next book in a dramatic depressive spiral, neglecting his Empire and sleeping with pretty much his entire senior staff. Personally I suspect Augustine and Mercy were 80% of his impulse control, and without them John plans to destroy the solar system and start over from square one.

- (this propaganda is only for John Gaius and Mercymorn the First) Messy quite literally because she atomises him, then he puts himself back together and (again, LITERALLY) rips out her heart.

Also emotionally messy on the basis that this breakup has actually been going on for at LEAST twenty years, and involved two separate threesomes which were actually ploys to a) steal John's sperm and b) distract him from the murder of his best friend.

Important information to note for those who have not read TLT: in killing John, Mercymorn fully believes that the sun will explode and the entire solar system will be destroyed. She ain't afraid of collateral damage in HER breakup.

In terms of relationship categorisation? Who's to say. They're friends they're lovers he's literally her God he wiped her memory and he's been lying to her for ten thousand years it's a whole thing.

[sickofthistoxicshit]

Ever notice how when they are in crisis, when they fall off the deep end,

Chimney and Buck lash out and hurt others - intentionally/unintentionally is up for debate.

Chimney lashing out at Bobby in S1 when he tells him the truth about Tatiana. And Chimney punching Buck when Maddie leaves.

Buck suing Bobby when he is denied going back to work. Buck kissing Lucy and subsequently cheating on Taylor, when his relationship is in crisis while Eddie and Chimney are away too.

And Buck nearly breaking Eddie's ankle because he's vying for Eddie's attention which was at that moment, in Buck's eyes, given to T. ( I will die on this hill!)

While Eddie and Bobby self harm. Each with their own vices. Bobby abuses with alcohol - i.e S1 after the plane crash and in S5 when he's close to falling off the wagon after Jonah nearly kills Chimney.

Eddie knocked Shannon up, he did what was expected of him - he married her, then enlisted, because it was his way out, in my opinion, he never planned to get back alive.

While Eddie's street fighting in S3 - It is a form of self harm because these are two consenting adults, with skills that are not fit for civilian life, getting into a ring and beat the shit out of each other to let out frustration and just to feel something even if it is pain.

Also in S5 Eddie breaks down and this time locks himself in the room and lashes out at inanimate objects until he collapses on the floor. He had no intention to involve anyone and Chris was with earphones, but Eddie didn't take into account that he's still a soldier's kid after all.

And in S7 Eddie isolates after his brief friendship with Tommy, now that his best friend is busy with his new fascination, Eddie is left to his own devices, no distraction from the disaster with the ex-nun gf, and suddenly being haunted by the ghost of his ex-wife.

I would have been fascinated too, and for fear that I am losing my mind, I wouldn't have told anyone either. Eddie keeps this to himself, it was more of a haunting than cheating if we're all honest for a second, reminded me a mix of TVD ft. Ghost Whisperer (God I loved that show!!).

The different approaches of dealing with crisis, where Buck's and Chimney's problem turn into an everyone problem, while at the same time you can't tell Bobby and Eddie are breaking apart until the aftermath.

The contrasts are pretty amazing and the people, their significant other who balance them are also complementing their personalities perfectly.

While Maddie and Chimney balance each other in a most wholesome way - they are my exception to the rule btw.

Athena is usually the one to balance Bobby out - which is why they match so well - making bathena.

Eddie and Buck balance each other out, in an anchor sort of way. They are not an official couple, but they are each other significant other. While Eddie knows how to pull Buck away from the edge with well placed touch and words that affirm how much Buck is loved and needed.

Buck knows how to pick up Eddie's broken pieces and help him put himself together in the aftermath.

No one else knew how to do it with these two, not Taylor or Anna, not Tommy or Marisol, Natalia was useless at best.

So maybe buddie isn't canon, but they are the most important part of each other, because alone, even while in a relationship, they tend to spiral.

[buckssuspenders]

I Didn't Mean To Say I Do, But I Do. I Do.

By schrijverr

Summary:

Years before joining the 118, Buck’s travels take him to El Paso, where he meets Christopher. When Eddie comes back from Afghanistan and Shannon leaves, Buck ends up staying. As bills pile up, the best move is for them to get married, just for convenience, they’ll divorce when Eddie comes back from his re-enlistment.

Then Eddie gets injured and it’s just easier to stay married for a little longer, while Buck gets started at the 118. However, Buck doesn’t mention his ‘husband’ and kid, not feeling like they’re his to keep. When Eddie gets the offer from Bobby, they decide to lie and pretend they don’t know each other, so they can work together.

The whole lie gets out of hand as feelings start to become real, until it all comes to a head in the aftermath of the fire engine explosion.

AKA: Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

Rating: Explicit

Words: 146,995

Status: WIP (34/50)

[eddiedefender]

“eddie is a bad father"

Since 7x09 aired, I've been seeing a lot of people saying that Eddie is a bad father, and it's just so ????????????? Have you even watched the show???????

I'm not denying the mistakes Eddie has made regarding Chris, especially during the first years of his life, but making mistakes does not automatically make him a bad parent. The important thing is that after making those mistakes, he has done everything in his power to correct them. He has always tried to shield him of whatever disasters or tragedies life has thrown at Chris.

So for those people, now I'm going to do a rundown of Eddie's and Chris' relationship, but I'm also going to be focusing on Eddie as a person and not only as a father. i tried to keep it in a chronological order. (I'm so sorry for any inconsistencies :( )

El Paso, TX.

Shannon and Eddie begin

Eddie and Shannon were never a healthy relationship. They are high school sweethearts who had to get married due to her getting pregnant accidentally at 19. High school relationships, especially the first ones, are almost never meant to last. Eddie forced himself to get married to her bc he felt it was the “right” thing, due to his catholic upbringing and subsequent catholic guilt. He automatically assumed his role, not bc he wanted, but because he felt like he Had to. This caused his marriage to be extremely dysfunctional.

Catholic guilt and his identity Eddie's catholic guilt is likely closely related to his identity as the son of Mexican immigrants. Catholicism in Latin America was introduced in a very traumatic and forced way by Spanish colonizers. Thousands of Native Americans were killed for refusing to converse to Catholicism, therefore causing Catholicism to become really intense in Latin America, a way in which it remains until now. Entire Latino countries values and laws circle back to catholic traditions, there is virtually no way to escape religion. This is then mixed with the innate sexism that is common in those countries, leaving a pretty extreme view of gender roles. When a kid is raised in these environments or, in eddies case, by people raised in these countries, their life will always be dictated by Catholicism rules, especially when the family is especially (extra) religious, as is implied in Eddie's case. Coming back to how people's life is dictated by Catholicism… this is especially true regarding matters of sexuality and gender. As we all know, Latino Catholicism has strict views regarding gender roles. A man should be the “provider” and “strong” and the woman should “take care of the family” and be “gentle”. That is basically what Eddie is. He always paints himself as the strong one, bottling up his emotions; and also thinks of himself as only the provider for the family. This heavily affected his relationship with Shannon. When he got her pregnant, he automatically assumed that role by marrying her.

Newfound “family”

His marriage and new “family” life caused to be so overwhelming that the only out he saw, was enlisting and going to war, leaving his newborn son and wife alone. All of this was done under the pretence of being the “provider” for his family, because he thought that was what they required from him. He didn't comprehend that his wife and kid also needed him emotionally. Sadly, that was never going to happen due to the very circumstances in which the family was created. He never loved Shannon enough to make things work between them; but he still tried, for the sake of Chris' and to give him a chance to have a proper family.

Shannon leaving

after coming back from war, Eddie and Shannon tried to live the “family life” but that came to be impossible and overwhelming for both of them. This time it was Shannon that left. When she left, Eddie ended up alone with his son, fresh out of the army and with a family that wanted to take away his kid. He instantly knew that Christopher could not go through the trauma of losing another parent. That's why he decided to fight his toxic family for Chris' custody and took him away to L.A., so that they could live and navigate their new family dynamic far away.

Los Angeles, California

Eddie begins again

When Eddie moved out to L.A. he was still discovering how to raise a kid with a disability and also fighting his parents for Chris' custody. He did everything he could to ensure his kid was well taken care of, shielding him from his own struggles. When he got the job at the 118, he still did his best to keep him in a sort of normal environment. Due to Chris' disability, this came to be more of a challenge, but Eddie never stopped trying to get him the extra help he needed by every means.

When he joined the 118 he met buck who then introduced them to Carla, the social worker. Then, Carla and Eddie started to work together, so that they could improve Chris' quality of life, always looking out for his happiness.

L.A. life

Besides Carla, Eddie also found his support system on the 118. These people always helped him in everything he required and became his friends; especially Buck, as his best friend. Eddie found in Buck a person very similar to him, one that had Chris' best interests at heart and someone that would fight tooth and nail for him. Seeing the positive impact buck made, he decided to make him a constant presence in Chris's life. This made nothing but improve both Chris' and Eddie's family life.

Nevertheless, life in L.A. was not so happy for Eddie. Although he had found a support system and strong friendships, he was still processing Shannon's absence. He always blamed her for leaving him and her son. However, he never made these concerns known to his son, as he didn't want Chris' to grow to hate his mother. The only people who knew about this were the 118, although he was always reluctant to be open about any feelings he experienced.

Shannon

All this came to a halt when Shannon came back to their already settled lives. At the beginning, Eddie tried to navigate his issues with Shannon, without letting Chris know that she had come back. He was afraid that Shannon would leave and therefore scar Chris again. He wanted to shield him from that pain.

After a while, Eddie decided that it was OK for Shannon to come back to Chris' life and for them to try to be a family again. During this time, Eddie and Shannon were still figuring out what they were and how they wanted their future to look like, while also living the family life for Chris' sake.

After navigating their family life and personal conflicts for a while, Shannon asked Eddie for a divorce. She died days after. This was a very big hit for both Eddie and Chris. They both navigated their grief together. It was not a perfect journey, but Eddie never stopped having Chris' best interests at heart.

(natural) Disasters

Soon after Shannon died, another tragedy hit Chris' life: the tsunami. Both tragedies resulted in Chris having recurring nightmares, sometimes blending the lines between his mother's death and the tsunami. Eddie was constantly worried about the state of his son, even though the latter was not opening up to him. He took him to the psychologist to see what he could do to make him feel better and process his emotions.

Mothers or girlfriends?

After Shannon's death, Eddie, maybe involuntarily, leaned back into the “provider” role, and he looked for someone to fill the “mother” role for Chris. His next relationships were solely based on how much Christopher liked his girlfriends. He was focused, perhaps too much, on what he thought was best for Chris. He never noticed that Chris' didn't need another maternal figure, he already had everything he needed in Buck, Carla, and the rest of the 118.

The only relationship he had, prior to L.A. was the one with Shannon. The outcome of that relationship left him severely traumatized and unable to form emotional bonds with women. And anxiety when thinking of a future or marriage with them. He only valued his girlfriends regarding on how much Chris' liked them, removing himself completely from his own relationship.

Grief

since Shannon died, Eddie has never got the chance, or given himself the chance, to grieve her properly. He has constantly bottled up his emotions, until he couldn't anymore, resulting in extreme reactions. Or, on the other hand, completely gaslighting himself into believing something that wasn't true.

First, soon after she died, while dealing with the aftermath of the tsunami and its impact on Chris' he stated to develop feelings of anger towards her. To try and “process” his rage, he turned to illegal fight clubs, only stopping when he almost killed a man. Eddie then confessed to bobby he did that so that he could keep his anger under control as to not let Chris down, seeing he was the only parent Chris had left.

Second, during the subsequent seasons, Eddie started to completely morph the mental image he had of Shannon and their relationship. Shannon suddenly became the epitome of motherhood and the perfect wife. He completely stripped her out of her humanity, putting her on a pedestal or an example he should seek to obtain. All of a sudden, they never had any marriage problems, and he even forgot that she asked him for a divorce. Their marriage was only perfect since the day she died.

His delusions have reached their breaking point in s7. He quickly fell down into a hole after seeing a girl similar to his wife. He started pursuing her, even though he already has a girlfriend. Also, leading this woman into a situationship without her knowing about the wife.

It was only after buck said something, that he realized that he wasn't even sure of what he wanted from Kim. He soon after came clean to her, and tried to stop their relationship. (then she matched his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 and actually got bangs and got into a weird role-play as shannon, to “try” to get Eddie to get over her, is suppose.... I don't even know what she was trying to do there😭😭😭😭). That is when Chris caught them. Eddie never intended for his son to see him in this broken state, and he had actually done a great job at hiding it until now.

This mistake does not erase how much Chris means to Eddie and all the things he has done to maintain Chris' wellbeing.

This is simply an example of a very broken man.

i wanted to clarify that when i refer to "catholicism" in the text im not talking about what the scriptures (Bible) say, i talk about how people interpret them in latam context. also im probably forgetting some things but I think this gets my point across.

[ironworked]

Eddie's journey

Eddie is the 10 year old whose father told him he needed to be the man of the house. He's the teenager whose girlfriend got pregnant and who felt pressured to marry partly because of the Church. He's a Mexican-American man, and culturally/lapsed Catholic. He's the young man who enlisted to provide for his family, even though he never wanted to be like his father. He's the husband who thinks they could've done better, who feels guilt for his wife leaving. He's the man who proposed again but got asked for a divorce, and who feels he wasn't enough. He's the widower who didn't get to fix things with his wife, whom he still thinks of as 'the love of [his] life'. He's the man who thinks he needs to be in control, who doesn't want to appear weak, who 'doesn't panic'. He's the son who's recently been patching things up with his father. He's the father who's recently let his kid down and misses him terribly.

Non-exhaustive list of quotes pulled from the show, with links to videos when youtube allows (full 'playlist'), arranged by broad themes:

MASCULINITY

It's under control. Don't worry. S: Every time we talk about money, you tell me not to worry. Guess what, I worry. (2.15) / Bobby: I just wanna make sure you don't think you have to lose everything before you can allow yourself to feel anything. E: No, Christopher needs me to be in control. [...] I wasn't there when he was a baby. Stayed away too long, and it broke his mother. Shannon ran away, and I couldn't stop her. I couldn't bring her back home. (3.08) / S: We'll just sell the house and the cars and I'll go back to work. Maybe only part-time but - E: No, no. Christopher is the priority right now. You should stay home with him. [...] I'm trying to provide for this family. That's the reason I enlisted in the first place. S: I don't need a provider. I need a partner. (3.15) / I don't remember you being around much when I was his age. Ramón: I was working. E: So was I. / Frank: You're a man who spends all of his time managing other people's pain [...] but not a lot of time facing your own. Can't put all your feelings in a box, Eddie. You might think if you're strong enough that it'll hold. But at some point, that box is gonna blow open. E: And take me with it. F: You and anyone else around you. (5.13) / [R] spent his whole life driving across the state. Living everywhere but under his own roof with his own family. ... Oh, uh, why don't you tell them about the time you pulled your ten-year-old son aside and told him it was time to step up? Be the man of the house? [...] R: I was providing for the family. E: Providing? Providing what money? - Okay R: Exactly. I had to do what I had to do. E: A family needs more than money. (6.17)

RELIGION

Turns out, I'm a Manchurian Catholic. I've just got a reservoir of Catholic guilt just lying dormant, waiting to be activated [...] What, you think I should go to confession? You think a priest is going to make me feel better about all this? [...] Bobby: Lapsed Catholic, still a Catholic. [...] That was a lot of the reason why we got married. The Church. She got pregnant and I think we both felt pressured into it. But I never regretted it, and even when things got really bad, there was always a part of me that I loved being married to her. (7.05) / Bobby: Eddie, I was going through some things, and I found this [prayer book]. Made me think of you. Just hang onto it, It might come in handy.

SHANNON

He loves having you around.[...] We both do. [...] I want this. Want to have a nice day on the beach with my son and his mother. ... Bobby: Were you ready the first time? Eddie: No. I knew I loved her, but I didn't think I was ready to get married. [...] I guess the question is, can I be a good husband? ... I knew Christopher missed you, but I I don't think I realized just how much I did, too. [...] We could have done better, we could have tried, I want us to be a family again. (2.17) / I loved your mom and I miss her, probably always will. (3.04) / I'm angry at a dead person and at myself because I forgave her for everything, and and it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. (3.08) / I just want what I had when I met Shannon. It just happened. It was magic. Hen: Oh, so you believe in magic. E: I believe in chemistry. ... Bobby: Eddie, I know how hard this is. One thing you can't do is compare what you had with what you think you're gonna have. You just have to be open to whatever comes. (6.17)

(7.09 deleted scene)

CHRISTOPHER

E: Christopher. Is this Mom? Hey. Is that who you've been dreaming about? (3.04) / I wish I could forget. People go away. Not just Mom. Abuelita, Carla, my friends. They leave and then I miss them. I don't want to miss anyone else. (4.08) / Ravi: You must be Eddie's wife? C: Not yet. (5.02) / They just end up leaving anyway. Buck: Uh, why would you say that? C: My mom did. B: Uh, Chris, your mom died. C: Before that. She left us. We loved her, and she left anyway. I can't remember her voice anymore. (7.01)

(5.03) (6.18)

Dad, do you think she can hear us when we talk to her? E: Absolutely. That's why we come here. C: I wish I could hear her talk back. E: Me, too, bud. Me, too. ...

I'm sorry. I was thinking maybe we could watch it together in El Paso next weekend. I know. Yeah, I know. I know, it's last-minute, but I miss you guys, and I know Christopher does, too. Exactly. Why wait? Well, there's no better time than now. (6.15) / Chris, he's excited to see everyone, he misses them. (5.17)

I tried to talk about it with him and he ignored me the whole drive back. R: That part, that part sounds like us. The old Díaz family cold shoulder. Your Abuela originated it, but as I recall, you perfected it. [...] You had to grow up a lot faster than you should have. But that doesn't mean you can keep Christopher a kid forever. (6.04)

It just pisses me off. I mean, here's a kid who actually wants his dad in his life, and he doesn't even bother to show up? I miss him so much, Cap. I'm trying to respect his wishes, but we zoom a couple times a week, barely says a word to me. ... Sometimes a son just needs his father. Hell, a father needs his son. I speak from experience. ... But you're missing out on watching him grow up, on who he's becoming. ... I'm a dad who doesn't live under the same roof as his son. And it's my fault. And I hate it. (8.04) / Christopher doesn't want anything to do with Halloween, turns out. [...] Not like I was gonna be able to do it with him anyway. I just wish I knew last year was his last. (8.05)

That's the path behind him, so I don't think it's outrageous to expect that his future storyline(s) at least in short and mid term will involve unpacking at least some of that as well as whatever moves/decisions made to actively heal his relationship with Christopher and get him back.

Also, this is why Christopher felt the need for some space; it's not out of nowhere, and he isn't throwing a tantrum.

Some interesting posts: Eddie Díaz's tragic timeline; 2.17 vs 8.05 comparison gifset; about Ryan Guzmán's references in interviews (x, x, x); about Eddie's background/potential SLs based on it (x, x).

[cassandraevans]

Be advised, before y'all send your angry asks, these are my opinions, angry opinions but that's all they are, you're free to have your own, that doesn't mean we have to fight about it. Different people will have different opinions. Let's all just enjoy the show we love.

-----------------------------------

Finally! My heart knows peace! Ughhg I've been so so pissed at the writers and Eddie for being such an absolute Akshat to Shannon.

Eddie himself has never been present for Shannon. Literally or metaphorically. He left for his deployment a week after Christopher was born.

He left his newborn child and his wife alone, granted it was his job. But what if she had postpartum depression like Maddie? Even without that we see how hard it is to care for a newborn child as a couple when Chimney and Maddie had Jeeyun, even with Albert and Anne's help they were overwhelmed. Yes Shannon's mother and Eddie's fault was there but he was the father. Fine, let's leave that.

He wasn't there even Christopher was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Shannon raised her son alone, imagine how scared and broken she must have felt when he was diagnosed, we see how terrified Maddie was when Jeeyun had a fever. But the writers completely disregard anything when it comes to Shannon.

After Christopher was diagnosed, Eddie ran away by enlisting again when he was supposed to be coming home, which he himself admitted, without telling Shannon.

And that scene of him, refusing and asking her to soothe a crying baby Christopher while she's literally telling him he shouldn't be a fucking stranger to his own kid? He looks at her like it's a punishment, don't anybody dare say he was overwhelmed, she was way beyond overwhelmed and he was basically refusing to be a goddammit father to his own kid. As if it was her responsibility alone to take care of the child that she had WITH HIM.

Her mother was dying from cancer, fucking cancer and he didn't even try to comfort her, at all. When she asked him to leave, he used that his family was gathered to celebrate his return as a reason that they can't leave now, no he said it wouldn't look good so they shouldn't leave now, not even you go first we'll catch up, he didn't even want her to go, he just wanted her to stay and take care of Christopher and him while he can go be a hero. Her mother was dying from relapsing cancer and he didn't even care.

What on earth did he think was going to happen? Was he expecting Shannon to wait until her mom was dead?

He had some right to be upset when she left, some. But he had to have seen that coming with now dismissive he's been of her feelings, and that her mother was fucking dying and he didn't want to leave Texas so she can take care of her and he has the audacity to blame her for it.

The fact that he was never been there for her for Christopher's diagnosis of CP, or after, to comfort HER, imagine how hard that must have been on her, alone, her mother battling cancer on one side, her child have cerebral palsy on another side and her husband never being present? Can't imagine how family was very keen to console her with the way they speak of her even after Shannon's death.

I imagine Shannon's mother died in the two years she was gone from Eddie and Christopher's lives, if the show mentioned it directly I might have missed it. But the point is Shannon had to LEAVE her child with his father so he can FINALLY start being a FATHER, and she dealt with her mother's battle and succumbing to cancer, ALONE. With no one to turn to, she was an orphan, even when she had a so called husband and a son.

And when she comes back what does Eddie do? He tries to keep her away from seeing her child like she's the one who's done all the sins. He waited and she never came back and he's mad at her for it? Oh did it ever even occur to him that there's another option, that maybe he could, you know, visit her? Maybe? Would it have killed him to do so? Would his entire family die if he like VISITED, not even moved but visited her, ONCE? He was oh so ready to up and leave Texas to Los Angeles when it for him but not when Shannon HAD TO?

The DOUBLE STANDARD here is off the charts.

He only calls her when he needs her to admit Christopher to school, he never tried to contact her before that, he never TRIED ANYTHING, from his end to fix their relationship that he himself broke piece by piece by breaking Shannon piece by piece.

Don't even get me started on once she comes back, and gracefully does what is needed for Christopher, because she fucking loves her child. And is even willing to apologize to him for what she did when he's the only one who should be apologizing.

But no an apology is not enough for him, he keeps her away from Christopher, he makes her beg him to let her see her own child, he doesn't even have custody over him. He justifies it by saying she abandoned them both? Then what the fuck was it that Eddie did when he reenlisted the moment Christopher was diagnosed? He himself admits later to Buck I think that that was him running away. And yet be has the audacity to punish Shannon for it? When she's the only one who stayed the whole time? Before being forced to leave to care for her dying mother, alone because whiny Eddie doesn't want to leave Texas and his family, boohoo.

Eddie makes it all about Christopher, he sure loves to hear that he's a good father when in truth he didn't even know the first letter of the word before he forced Shannon to leave Christopher with him. Eddie only started being a father to him AFTER SHANNON LEFT.

Eddie then "somehow ends up with her in bed" every time they talk, oh yeah somehow and he doesn't know how it happened at all. But when Shannon thinks that this, him taking her to his bed each time is him finally stopping gatekeeping her from her own child, he has the audacity to the ask if SHE thinks it's a transaction, that she sleeps with him and he let's her see HER SON, I'm sorry sir what the fuck else would she think? When her husband suddenly starts bedding her, of course she thought he finally let her back into her own fucking marriage. But no he just wants the sex but he wants her to stay away from her son cause she deserves to be punished for her sins, which he has committed teen folds.

But no she apologizes again. And he acts like he such a saint and it's a huge sacrifice that he's doing for his son when he FINALLY lets her see her son, that too only after Christopher asks, so no matter how long she kept begging him to let her see Christopher, he wouldn't have, but he sure would have loved to have sex with her the whole time. How is that not him taking advantage of his power over her, which is access to Christopher and using it to use her body. That's manipulation.

He loves Christopher, that's obvious, but it's also obvious that he doesn't even like Shannon but wants her body and wants her to always take care of Christopher and do nothing else ever.

He never once asked Shannon how she was feeling, he never once cared, to ask that. Not even Christopher was diagnosed, not when her mother had a cancer relapse, not when she came back for Christopher's school after her mother's death, he didn't ask her anything about her at all, about how she was feeling, as a result of his actions. She vouched for the ask admittance, that's it. He asked her to sneak out of his bed after having sex, by deceiving her, so that their son wouldn't see her, Christopher didn't even know she was in the same city as them. Eddiegot his sex from her, that's it, now she should leave and not be seen by their son, he got what he wanted and that's all that matters to him. She should never expect anything back for it, she could never, even when she desparately needed him, he didn't give her anything, he abandoned her first, again and again, he expected her to be always a wife and a mother but he was never a husband to her, he wasn't even a father until she left, she was alone in her marriage, Shannon was a married single mom. What pisses me of more is that he used their son to do it, he used their son to punish her, and when she asked for a divorce because he's a fucking shitty, absent, negligent husband who won't give her anything other than sex, he had the gall to be offended and angry at her for it, even after she died.

Of course the writers killed her off, she's better off dead than being married to him.

In season 5 I think, he finally brings her up and the fact that he kept her away from their son, he says he thought did it to protect Christopher, cause he didn't want him to be hurt by his mom leaving again but she didn't want to leave, she wanted them to come with her but who said no to that? Oh no must be someone else. He continues saying to he was really don't it to protect himself? Seriously? I wanted to reach into the screen and bang his head against the table. If anyone needed protecting in their marriage it was Shannon, from his emotional negligence and later manipulation by using Christopher to use her body.

Don't get me started on his dating Ana, she was amazing, in general and to Christopher, and to Eddie, which he didn't deserve one bit. Some people find this storyline boring and I agree but that's not the point. He was so sweet to Ana, so caring to not overload her or overexpect from her, I don't remember which episode it was or what it was about but Eddie said something like I don't want to spring that on you or something that essentially translated to I don't want to ask you to do that cause you shouldn't have to and it wasn't even a big thing. Yes she was his new girlfriend and all but he has never showed even 5% of that care or concern for Shannon, he never had a problem expecting anything and everything from her. He settled with Ana cause she was taking care of Christopher and him, he wants a girl to take care of him, perform her womanly duties while he lounged and prided himself on how great a father he is.

I can't say the writers don't know how to write a healthy relationship either. Cause Chim and Maddie, Athena and Bobby? Especially Athena and Bobby, cause when Athena's father gets into that accident? Bobby drops everything to go with Athena to go visit and stay with her in her parents house and supports her, granted he was already packed and prepared to leave for the vacation, but he left a very well deserved vacation to go support not only Athena but also her parents in their time of need, even when Athena's mom being very rude. if Eddie had been in Bobby's place he not only would have not cared and thrown a tantrum over how he didn't want to leave his vacation but would've also tried to stop his wife from going to check on her parent at all. That is if Eddie hadn't already guilt tripped Shannon into distancing from her rude mother had she been anything like Athena's, he would have thrown an even bigger victim tantrum about how he didn't deserve it and deserved better, nevermind the dying parent.

So the writers do know how to write a healthy relationship, even one that has problems, the couples overcome them. Eddie was just an undeserving asshole to Shannon. Who deserved far far better than she ever got with Eddie. Christopher deserved his mother, not his father gatekeeping him from her while having sex with her and asking her to sneaking out like a thief.

He's never once shown to realize any of this, how this was all wrong, how much of a double standard he had been utilising, how shitty of a husband he was, how he basically ruined her life. He's shown to be the poor victim who was abandoned by his wife and had to raise his special son alone, nevermind this was of his own engineering from all the negligent husband moves he pulled. Yes he's the victim of course.

[foone]

We should start a star trek voyager project to rewrite the 138 episodes that take place after Threshold. Maintain the original plots for the most part, but now the lizard babies are there.

Introduce a crewman who is a babysitter for them when Janeway and Paris have to go do Mission Stuff. For one episode the babysitter gets injured or something and tuvok and neelix to take care of the babies and they're teething! Have Paris tell his dad that he's now a grandfather. Seska steals Voyager in Basics but she misses the babies because no one has gotten around to adding them to the crew register yet, so now Lon Suder has to take care of them while sneaking around the ship.

By the time of The Year of Hell, they can talk, and they're of equivalent intelligence to like 5 year old (modern) humans. One of them dies during the episode, and Janeway is devastated. They come back at the end, of course.

They get mad when they find out the publisher edited them out of The Doctor's hit holonovel of life on Voyager. They show up in Barclay's recreation of life on Voyager, but he gets them completely wrong. They look like iguanas, not salamanders.

During The Killing Game, one of them eats a Hirogen Nazi. Janeway is so proud.

The Voth use them as PROOF that their two species are related, during Distant Origin.

When Q wants to have a kid with Janeway during The Q and the Grey, she replies "I've already got enough kids, thank you very much"

One of them decides to stay with Neelix when he leaves Voyager, having become attached to him, and Neelix treating them like the child they never had.

By the end of the show they'd be six years old, and they obviously grow up fast. They could easily be junior members of the crew by then. They are close friends with Icheb and Q2.

Tom has redesigned the Delta Flyer so that one of the Lizard Kids (the "oldest", Mark) can fly it too, as they're taking after their dad and becoming a damn good pilot.

Another (the middle child, Owen) is helping out B'Elanna (and later, Seven) with tech stuff, and he enjoys helping fix the ship. You'd be amazed how fast a quadrupedal lizard can run through Jeffries Tubes and fix a plasma coupling.

The third (the youngest, Shannon) is an artist and a musician, and is closest to her "godfather", Harry. She's not sure she wants to join Starfleet like her siblings, but she's still happy to help out when she can. She's doing some training with Tuvok as it seems Future Humans have some empathic abilities, and hers are strong enough to need practice to be able to control.

There's a subplot in some random episode where Mark is unsure how they fit in with (modern) humans, and decides they don't fit the gender binary. The Doctor rattles off a long list of species with more than two genders, and he mentions humans. Mark then decides their gender is "lizard" and uses they/them pronouns for the rest of the show. They keep the name Mark for now, commiserating with The Doctor about having a placeholder name until you can figure our your True Name. The gets referenced in one of the future segments of Endgame, where it's revealed that The Doctor has taken the given name "Mark", but it's not revealed what name (if any) Mark has changed to.

Speaking of Endgame, Shannon is on Vulcan helping take care of Tuvok. She's become quite a good doctor by then.

And Owen... didn't make it. He died on the long trip back, valiantly saving the whole ship from a destabilized warp core on the verge of rupture, but took a lethal dose of radiation in the process. Janeway held him in her arms as he died, and she posthumously gave him a promotion to lieutenant, first class. It's one of the things that drive her to go back in time and get Voyager home sooner, and can you really blame her?

Mark's teaching at the academy, after they'd enrolled to make their enlistment official. They barely made it a semester before they were being asked to help teach classes, and then eventually just running half the navigational and piloting divisions. Half of Starfleet wants them as a pilot for new missions to uncharted space, but for now they're staying close to home. Dad is so proud. Their little (half) sister Miral Paris likes to gently rib them over this, pointing out that she's probably gonna end up becoming a full Captain before Mark even gets out of the Academy. Mark points out they could have graduated years ago, but they need to stay here and train the next generation of Starfleet pilots, or Captain Miral Paris's first mission will end real quick when some badly trained ensign accidentally flies them into a black hole.

(Momma Janeway, of course, likes to point out that their dad already DID fly into a black hole, and he even managed to fly out of it afterwards. Miral and Mark both agree that the physics on that one doesn't make much sense, so they're not sure how much they believe that.)

Basically I just want to radically reimagine most of Voyager from Threshold onward, first in small ways with the lizard babies being a small background element and occasional B-plot, but then having their role grow until they're regulars, on even footing with the main cast, appearing in A-plots and having plots of their own dominate an episode.

I get why the show couldn't manage having full-time cast members who are fully CGI, it was 27 years ago after all. But that's no limitation for writing, and besides: we've got Janeway appearing on a fully computer generated show now! We could totally have the Threshold Kids as primary characters.

There'll also be a crossover episode taking place in the primary (no-threshold-babies on board) timeline. It's after voyager, and more importantly after DS9. Janeway and Chakotay are relaxing on earth, having made it safely back home, when they get a vision. The missing-in-action former captain of Deep Space Nine has learned about what happened, and he is pissed. At first he's angry at Janeway for leaving her children behind, no matter the circumstances of their birth, but then he learns it was Chakotay who made the decision (Janeway was too busy being a lizard at the time). His anger is only mostly redirected, as Janeway had every chance to turn around the ship and go back and get them once she'd been cured. He talks to them about the importance and duty of being a parent, and both Janeway and Chakotay agree... They messed up. Janeway wishes she could fix it. The Sisko ask her if she really means that, and when she confirms it, he smiles. You never left them behind, you know. Chakotay made the right choice and when you had the chance, you agreed with him. The Sisko fades away, and six years sideways Tuvok and a younger Chakotay are staring at a pond on some unnamed alien world, having just zapped Lizard!Paris and Lizard!Janeway with a phaser. They see a light on their faces as they go into an Orb of the Prophets Vision , and The Sisko, official demi-god and prophet of Bajor, gives them a direct order. They are to bring those babies on board their ship, because Starfleet is about discovering new life and new civilizations and THERE IT SWIMS. Voyager is a family, and it's a family that just got bigger. He holds the lizard babies in his arms for a moment, even if only in the vision, and he's so proud of them. The Sisko has always loved babies, and the number of Bajorans who have reported having unprompted Orb Visions in the days after they give birth is becoming a bit of an epidemic. (For what it's worth, they're very happy about it. It's a great blessing after all. Imagine you just gave birth and Jesus or Moses shows up in a vision to tell you your baby is very cute and is going to grow up big and strong. You'd probably take that as a good omen, you know?)

Back in 2372, Chakotay and Tuvok agree. The rest of the episode is altered: Janeway and Paris have a brief talk in the med-bay, then go down to Cargo Deck 2 to see their kids swimming in the little artifical pond that Kes and Tuvok set up for them. Neelix is there, trying to feed them small spoonfuls of Feragoit goulash. They don't know what to make of Tuvok and Chakotay's report of getting a vision that told them to bring the babies on board, but they agree it was the right choice, even if it's going to be a challenge raising three babies on a starship this far from home. The episode ends with one of the babies missing the spoon entirely and latching onto Neelix's thumb, and Paris and Janeway laugh.

His high-pitched screaming echoes through the ship as we cut to the view of Voyager flying through the stars, and the card "Executive Producer Rick Berman" pops up on screen. As if on cue, the screams get louder.

[treestomeetyou]

fuck off eddie didn't abandon chris because his disability was too hard for him and then proceed to refuse to contact his son for years. shannon diaz is an ableist and a bad mother, die mad about it

I’m here to dispel the woman-hating fanfic myth that Shannon left because of Christopher’s CP. Let’s take off fanon goggles and look at the facts:

She met Eddie at 14 and by the time she was 18 she was pregnant and alone with in-laws who treated her like garbage. She (based on Eddie’s recent dialogue) married out of obligation and Eddie left for the army. She struggled immensely and was constantly scrutinized by her in-laws. Scrutiny that Eddie himself couldn’t deal with and believed to be unfounded when he was the target.

It’s true that Eddie did this out of a desire to take care of them (although Shannon offered to work part time and he said no), but he also re-enlisted immediately after Christopher’s CP diagnosis out of fear, by his OWN ADMISSION. This fear was about a lot of money things, about the state of his and Shannon’s relationship, and about his ability to parent. Shannon left because her mother was dying (recall that she asked him to come with her multiple times but he didn’t want to leave his family!!) and the failing state of her marriage. She didn’t come back immediately because she was afraid that it was too late. That she had irrecoverably fucked up. Yeah that’s a very immature response to fear. But she died at 26. She was so young and never had the time to grow. Eddie’s hesitation about letting her back in was about her leaving again. If he thought she was abusive or ableist he wouldn’t have even considered it.

Her and Eddie had very similar rationales behind their mistakes, but this whole fandom likes to pick out the cruelest most uncharitable interpretation of her character because she’s a woman who’s in the way of their ship or whatever. Why are Eddie’s fuck ups always due to inexperience or how he was just trying his best but she’s an evil woman who hates her son? Why are Eddie’s parents the bad guys when they say he can’t parent, but y’all like to assume they were right about Shannon? It’s a double standard that’s why. Let the woman rest in peace for the love of God.

[fantasylover145]

I completely agree!! The only thing is I do believe that Eddie was romantically in love with Shannon. He truly did love her, but still it is debatable whether he was in love with her or not. I think he might be bi/demi. I do think it's so interesting, that even when pretending to be talking to his dead wife to say all that he needs to say to her, he blatantly lies! Eddie said he came back from the army because he couldn't imagine a life without her and yet the only reason he came home was because he got shot multiple times and honorably discharged. He didn't CHOOSE her, he never once chose to stay for her.

The only reason he came back was because he got injured not because of his great love for her, if he never got shot, who is to say that he wouldn't have re-enlisted a third time? Eddie is a fantastic father that's not debatable, but he was running away and we honestly can't say that he would have stopped running when he did if he wasn't forced to. So for him to say that he came back for her, it's just so blatantly untrue! I think he likes to believe that he came back so that they could be together, which could almost justify the resentment he may hold towards her because she chose to leave them once and tried to leave only him a second time. I don't blame him for resenting her for leaving him with just a stupid note and he's valid for all his feelings but he isn't being honest with himself. Eddie was wanting her to choose him back but he never chose her, they kept missing eachother. Every time Shannon wanted him, Eddie was gone and every time Eddie wanted her, she was gone and then she came back and he wanted her again but she wanted a divorce. They just couldn't get it right.

Also, the fact that he is just ignoring that she asked for a divorce and was almost acting like they would of been together, when we all know that's not true, is so very interesting. Therefore, I think that Shannon was a great love of his life but definitely not the love of his life. It's fascinating to see Eddie acting like Shannon was this huge missed opportunity and that they could of had everything together if only she didn't die. I truly think there was too much toxicity and mistrust for them to heal and have a healthy relationship when they never bad each others backs or communicated properly. I think Eddie finally opening up and having that conversation probably gives him a lot of closure but he needs a lot of therapy before he even thinks of getting into another relationship!! He also needs to re-evaluate how he sees relationships because whilst a relationship may have a lot of love that doesn't mean that he should want to be in it if it is not healthy for him. He needs to learn what a healthy relationship looks like and that the love of his life will be someone who wants to be in it with him for the long haul and that they both need to constantly choose to be with eachother over and over again, not out of obligation but because of the love they share. I feel like this is a fantastic start to Eddie's healing process and re-evaluation of what he thinks about love and relationships.

on the issue of shannon being the love of eddie's life:

i think that so many people misunderstand those of us who are adamant that shannon is not, and was in fact never, the love of eddie's life as us dismissing the love they had or completely denying that their relationship was crucial and irreplaceable for eddie. but this is not the truth. someone does not need to be the love of your life in order to be incredibly important for you. someone does not need to be the love of your life in order to shape you and impact you in ways that no one else can. this is what i believe to be true for eddie and shannon.

let's ignore the philosophical debates about the concept of "the love of your life" for a second because we could be here all day discussing whether there even is such a thing, whether society pushes us to value romantic love more than platonic love, etc. i think it's clear 911 is having the "love of your life" conversation through the lens of romantic love in its biggest form. they're nudging us to think about "the love of your life" as both the person you romantically love most in the world (the love) and the person you are meant to be with (your life). "meant to be with" in the sense of creating a healthy and loving partnership and life with, one the extends for the rest of your life. and the idea is that this partnership is based on your romantic love for them. not what ties you to them practically or even emotionally in general. this lifelong partnership is a conscious romantic choice. hence, the love of your life.

i think it's clear to see that both henren and madney are shown to us as being couples that are "the love of their lives." they have those practical attachments now in the sense that they are parents together and will always be tied through that but there is the conscious romantic love there. and these are not perfect relationships. these are not couples that have never hurt each other. that is absolutely not what being "the love of someone life" is. making mistakes and cheating on someone and running away does not automatically disqualify you from being "the love of someone's life" let's get that very clear. but those things would and could break a relationship that was not with "the love of your life." you stay with someone through those things because the love you have for them is stronger than the mistakes you make. the romantic bond you have with them is so big and so strong (the love) that you choose them over and over and over again (your life).

there is a very interesting conversation to be had with bathena and the concept of "the love of your life." i believe bobby is a perfect example of someone who could be seen as potentially having two loves of his life. marcy was tragically lost for him but i truly think had she survived the fire it could be a possibility that bobby and her would have kept choosing and choosing and choosing each other through the tragedy and grief. or maybe not! maybe the pain of losing their kids would have pushed them away from each other. we don't know. so we can only take their relationship for what it was before she died: they did choose each other constantly based on the romantic love they shared. so they were, somewhat, the love of each other's lives. and then we have athena. athena had an over a decade long marriage with someone we can see was not the love of her life. and yet michael and athena's relationship could never be matched by anyone else. they loved each other deeply and i believe in athena's case even romantically at points, and yet michel was not the love of her life. bobby is.

because this is another thing about the "love of your life" concept that i think 911 is trying to showcase: there is a reciprocity to it. as i said it's about who you share your life with as much as it is about who you romantically love most so someone will not be the love of your life if you constantly love them from afar, or if you are married to them but the romantic love was lost long ago.

now let's dissect that a little for eddie and shannon.

it could be argued that shannon has been, until this day, eddie's biggest romantic love, or at least that eddie still sees it this way. so sure in the surface this would meet the first requirement to make shannon the love of eddie's life. and shannon died while her and eddie were still married so they shared her life together, so that could also meet the second requirement. but we can clearly see that both aspects just don't hold up at all.

why were shannon and eddie really sharing a life when they were married? was it their love that kept them together through eddie's running away and shannon's running away and the fights and the heartbreak? we have been shown over and over again that it wasn't. christopher was the main reason they stayed together and then came back to each other. there was also the familiarity. and there was love in the mix, yeah, but that was not why they chose each other the times that they did. so they are not the loves of each other's life if the feeling of romantic love was not the strongest thing that tied them outside of who they are to each other (the parent of their child, the first person they were ever with, their spouse on paper.)

and let's be honest, were eddie and shannon really choosing each other through it all? i don't think so at all. eddie was choosing his family, his son, his wife. but was he choosing shannon? shannon as a person? and even if he was (which i personally don't think so) shannon literally asked eddie for a divorce before she died. the reciprocity of "the love of their lives" would be absolutely lost on the fact that, had shannon stayed alive, her and eddie would be divorced by now, hence breaking the second requirement of "the love of your life" concept: choosing each other over and over and over again.

shannon is not, and was never, the love of eddie's life.

shannon is a person who has shaped eddie beyond belief. she has shaped eddie's views on romantic love, family, duty. she has shaped his view of himself, his identity as a husband and man.

shannon is a person who eddie loved and loves very deeply. maybe romantically, maybe not. we can all have our own perceptions here. i think he loved her deeply but not romantically, as i do think eddie is gay. but even if it is romantic, i think the reason this love is still to this day the biggest love eddie has ever had is not because he can't love harder or even with the same intensity, but because he won't allow himself.

those two things can be true (eddie loved her and shannon impacted him) without "shannon is the love of eddie's life" being true as well.

eddie thinks shannon is the love of his life because he still confuses "we got married" with "we chose each other." he confuses "i loved her" with "i was in love with her." he confuses "i wanted to keep my family together" with "i chose her." he confuses "i miss her terribly and will always wonder what could have been" with "i can never love anyone else."

shannon is not, and was never, the love of eddie's life.

whether or not you think buck is the love of eddie's life (which i could write another essay about), i think we should all see that part of eddie's healing has to come from realizing this fact and finally being able to move forward into seeing the love of his life is still out there for him to fully give himself to.

[johanna-swann]

The thing about Marisol and Natalia - the thing is this.

I like Natalia. She's an interesting character and I would love to see more of her. BUT. It makes no (and I mean absolutely zero) sense for Buck to date anyone at this point. After everything he's been through he's just learning that being himself and by himself is enough. Introducing Natalia as his love interest instead of a new friend outside of the 118 bubble was a (amatonormativity induced) mistake in my opinion.

With Marisol on the other hand it's the exact opposite? It's definitely in line with Eddie's character development to try dating again. He's over the whole Ana thing and Shannon's death, he's in a good place mentally speaking and has the time to get back into the dating world - on his own terms. Because he wants it so, not because of what others expect of him. But then they (re-)introduce Marisol of all people in a way that not only feels super rushed, it also goes completely against Eddie's "dating people from calls never works" rule. With the way Eddie and Marisol's remeeting is written it also implies that this is going to be Miss Right for Eddie and that we're watching an epic lovestory unfold. Except we don't really know anything about her and they don't really know each other either. We're just supposed to root for them because Marisol used the word "magic" while talking about glue, I guess. (Natalia at least has an interesting job going for her, a topic that connects her and Buck.)

So yeah. They should've been more subtle about the whole Marisol thing, not oversell it this much and Natalia shouldn't be a love interest at all. Not yet at least, I would've waited until mid season 7 before having Buck date again.

Ultimately of course I still hope Buddie might become a thing, I'm just saying: Other pairings could work just as well if they did it right and didn't keep retconning characters' backgrounds and developments.

Because that's another thing that irked me about season 6B. They were suddenly all about romanticising Eddie and Shannon's relationship?

The way I understood it is they were highschool sweethearts who got pregnant way too young and barely out of school and then married because with a child on the way it was expected of them. I don't think they were even living together yet. Then Eddie pretty much immediately joined the army and he was gone, only came back for a few months when Christopher was born and re-enlisted. He had only just got back home when Shannon suggested moving to LA which is why Eddie refused and then Shannon ran off on her own. They started having sex again later, but never really got back together and Shannon even wanted a divorce.

It's established that they fought a lot about all kinds of things, that it was never easy and that the only thing that ever really worked between the two of them was the sex. We know this because there were flashbacks, because Eddie told us so and because Shannon told us so. Yes, they wanted to try their best to be a family for Christopher and I'm sure they loved each other.

But why is Eddie suddenly talking about how their relationship was simply "magical" and he wants to find that again??? Even if he loves Shannon and is forever grateful for Chris, the relationship itself (married for the wrong reasons without really wanting to, never really present at the same time, barely spending time together, leaving each other, using sex to avoid having to talk to each other, not able to communicate their needs) sounds like a nightmare.

[911paralleluniverse]

Eddie breaking the news to Ravi, Hen and Buck isn't what I was expecting. It was clear that Eddie is avoiding to have a one-on-one conversation with Buck. Hen and Ravi aren't the same level of friendship and understanding that he has with Buck so to break the news to the three of them emphasized their distance. Their wall.

Eddie wasn't exactly wrong if he chose to tell them all at once. It's his choice. But the fact that he didn't talk to Buck about it first feels like he blindsided him. Buck is his son's Legal Guardian in case of his death so it's Eddie's moral responsibility/obligation to at least tell Buck first about his new life changing decision. But he didn't.

It's the same feeling when Eddie didn't tell Shannon when he re-enlisted for another tour.

This is not something Buck can't fix even when he wants to. This is all Eddie's. And like I said to my other post, it's not wrong for Eddie if he chose to leave just to have his son a peaceful sleep at night and make him feel safe, worry-free and protected. But at what cost? His own happiness? The job he knows he loves?

[cassandraevans]

Finally! My heart knows peace! Ughhg I've been so so pissed at the writers and Eddie for being such an absolute Akshat to Shannon.

I needed to get this off my chest.

Eddie himself has never been present for Shannon. Literally or metaphorically. He left for his deployment a week after Christopher was born.

He left his newborn child and his wife alone, granted it was his job. But what if she had postpartum depression like Maddie? Even without that we see how hard it is to care for a newborn child as a couple when Chimney and Maddie had Jeeyun, even with Albert and Anne's help they were overwhelmed. Yes Shannon's mother and Eddie's fault was there but he was the father. Fine, let's leave that.

He wasn't there even Christopher was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Shannon raised her son alone, imagine how scared and broken she must have felt when he was diagnosed, we see how terrified Maddie was when Jeeyun had a fever. But the writers completely disregard anything when it comes to Shannon.

After Christopher was diagnosed, Eddie ran away by enlisting again when he was supposed to be coming home, which he himself admitted, without telling Shannon.

And that scene of him, refusing and asking her to soothe a crying baby Christopher while she's literally telling him he shouldn't be a fucking stranger to his own kid? He looks at her like it's a punishment, don't anybody dare say he was overwhelmed, she was way beyond overwhelmed and he was basically refusing to be a goddammit father to his own kid. As if it was her responsibility alone to take care of the child that she had WITH HIM.

Her mother was dying from cancer, fucking cancer and he didn't even try to comfort her, at all. When she asked him to leave, he used that his family was gathered to celebrate his return as a reason that they can't leave now, no he said it wouldn't look good so they shouldn't leave now, not even you go first we'll catch up, he didn't even want her to go, he just wanted her to stay and take care of Christopher and him while he can go be a hero. Her mother was dying from relapsing cancer and he didn't even care.

What on earth did he think was going to happen? Was he expecting Shannon to wait until her mom was dead?

He had some right to be upset when she left, some. But he had to have seen that coming with now dismissive he's been of her feelings, and that her mother was fucking dying and he didn't want to leave Texas so she can take care of her and he has the audacity to blame her for it.

The fact that he was never been there for her for Christopher's diagnosis of CP, or after, to comfort HER, imagine how hard that must have been on her, alone, her mother battling cancer on one side, her child have cerebral palsy on another side and her husband never being present? Can't imagine how family was very keen to console her with the way they speak of her even after Shannon's death.

I imagine Shannon's mother died in the two years she was gone from Eddie and Christopher's lives, if the show mentioned it directly I might have missed it. But the point is Shannon had to LEAVE her child with his father so he can FINALLY start being a FATHER, and she dealt with her mother's battle and succumbing to cancer, ALONE. With no one to turn to, she was an orphan, even when she had a so called husband and a son.

And when she comes back what does Eddie do? He tries to keep her away from seeing her child like she's the one who's done all the sins. He waited and she never came back and he's mad at her for it? Oh did it ever even occur to him that there's another option, that maybe he could, you know, visit her? Maybe? Would it have killed him to do so? Would his entire family die if he like VISITED, not even moved but visited her, ONCE? He was oh so ready to up and leave Texas to Los Angeles when it for him but not when Shannon HAD TO?

The DOUBLE STANDARD here is off the charts.

He only calls her when he needs her to admit Christopher to school, he never tried to contact her before that, he never TRIED ANYTHING, from his end to fix their relationship that he himself broke piece by piece by breaking Shannon piece by piece.

Don't even get me started on once she comes back, and gracefully does what is needed for Christopher, because she fucking loves her child. And is even willing to apologize to him for what she did when he's the only one who should be apologizing.

But no an apology is not enough for him, he keeps her away from Christopher, he makes her beg him to let her see her own child, he doesn't even have custody over him. He justifies it by saying she abandoned them both? Then what the fuck was it that Eddie did when he reenlisted the moment Christopher was diagnosed? He himself admits later to Buck I think that that was him running away. And yet be has the audacity to punish Shannon for it? When she's the only one who stayed the whole time? Before being forced to leave to care for her dying mother, alone because whiny Eddie doesn't want to leave Texas and his family, boohoo.

Eddie makes it all about Christopher, he sure loves to hear that he's a good father when in truth he didn't even know the first letter of the word before he forced Shannon to leave Christopher with him. Eddie only started being a father to him AFTER SHANNON LEFT.

Eddie then "somehow ends up with her in bed" every time they talk, oh yeah somehow and he doesn't know how it happened at all. But when Shannon thinks that this, him taking her to his bed each time is him finally stopping gatekeeping her from her own child, he has the audacity to the ask if SHE thinks it's a transaction, that she sleeps with him and he let's her see HER SON, I'm sorry sir what the fuck else would she think? When her husband suddenly starts bedding her, of course she thought he finally let her back into her own fucking marriage. But no he just wants the sex but he wants her to stay away from her son cause she deserves to be punished for her sins, which he has committed teen folds.

But no she apologizes again. And he acts like he such a saint and it's a huge sacrifice that he's doing for his son when he FINALLY lets her see her son, that too only after Christopher asks, so no matter how long she kept begging him to let her see Christopher, he wouldn't have, but he sure would have loved to have sex with her the whole time. How is that not him taking advantage of his power over her, which is access to Christopher and using it to use her body. That's manipulation.

He loves Christopher, that's obvious, but it's also obvious that he doesn't even like Shannon but wants her body and wants her to always take care of Christopher and do nothing else ever.

He never once asked Shannon how she was feeling, he never once cared, to ask that. Not even Christopher was diagnosed, not when her mother had a cancer relapse, not when she came back for Christopher's school after her mother's death, he didn't ask her anything about her at all, about how she was feeling, as a result of his actions. She vouched for the ask admittance, that's it. He asked her to sneak out of his bed after having sex, by deceiving her, so that their son wouldn't see her, Christopher didn't even know she was in the same city as them. Eddiegot his sex from her, that's it, now she should leave and not be seen by their son, he got what he wanted and that's all that matters to him. She should never expect anything back for it, she could never, even when she desparately needed him, he didn't give her anything, he abandoned her first, again and again, he expected her to be always a wife and a mother but he was never a husband to her, he wasn't even a father until she left, she was alone in her marriage, Shannon was a married single mom. What pisses me of more is that he used their son to do it, he used their son to punish her, and when she asked for a divorce because he's a fucking shitty, absent, negligent husband who won't give her anything other than sex, he had the gall to be offended and angry at her for it, even after she died.

Of course the writers killed her off, she's better off dead than being married to him.

In season 5 I think, he finally brings her up and the fact that he kept her away from their son, he says he thought did it to protect Christopher, cause he didn't want him to be hurt by his mom leaving again but she didn't want to leave, she wanted them to come with her but who said no to that? Oh no must be someone else. He continues saying to he was really don't it to protect himself? Seriously? I wanted to reach into the screen and bang his head against the table. If anyone needed protecting in their marriage it was Shannon, from his emotional negligence and later manipulation by using Christopher to use her body.

Don't get me started on his dating Ana, she was amazing, in general and to Christopher, and to Eddie, which he didn't deserve one bit. Some people find this storyline boring and I agree but that's not the point. He was so sweet to Ana, so caring to not overload her or overexpect from her, I don't remember which episode it was or what it was about but Eddie said something like I don't want to spring that on you or something that essentially translated to I don't want to ask you to do that cause you shouldn't have to and it wasn't even a big thing. Yes she was his new girlfriend and all but he has never showed even 5% of that care or concern for Shannon, he never had a problem expecting anything and everything from her. He settled with Ana cause she was taking care of Christopher and him, he wants a girl to take care of him, perform her womanly duties while he lounged and prided himself on how great a father he is.

I can't say the writers don't know how to write a healthy relationship either. Cause Chim and Maddie, Athena and Bobby? Especially Athena and Bobby, cause when Athena's father gets into that accident? Bobby drops everything to go with Athena to go visit and stay with her in her parents house and supports her, granted he was already packed and prepared to leave for the vacation, but he left a very well deserved vacation to go support not only Athena but also her parents in their time of need, even when Athena's mom being very rude. if Eddie had been in Bobby's place he not only would have not cared and thrown a tantrum over how he didn't want to leave his vacation but would've also tried to stop his wife from going to check on her parent at all. That is if Eddie hadn't already guilt tripped Shannon into distancing from her rude mother had she been anything like Athena's, he would have thrown an even bigger victim tantrum about how he didn't deserve it and deserved better, nevermind the dying parent.

So the writers do know how to write a healthy relationship, even one that has problems, the couples overcome them. Eddie was just an undeserving asshole to Shannon. Who deserved far far better than she ever got with Eddie. Christopher deserved his mother, not his father gatekeeping him from her while having sex with her and asking her to sneaking out like a thief.

He's never once shown to realize any of this, how this was all wrong, how much of a double standard he had been utilising, how shitty of a husband he was, how he basically ruined her life. He's shown to be the poor victim who was abandoned by his wife and had to raise his special son alone, nevermind this was of his own engineering from all the negligent husband moves he pulled. Yes he's the victim of course.

shannon diaz week: day 7  ↳ free choice: all the awful and sexist narrative and character tropes that the writers employed for shannon diaz in 9-1-1

[columbusfirefighterdiaz]

He should be used to it by now. Any time he meets someone new, they generally want to know about his family. He's given some version of how and when he met Shannon, having Christopher, and enlisting in the army too many times to count, but he honestly hated talking about it. Talking about it made him think about his life up to this point, and that meant thinking about all the what ifs. Even though there's many things in his life that he would never want to change, mainly the fact that he has Christopher in his life, there were too many regrets buried in his thoughts as well.

Since it was Buck's life they were mainly discussing, Eddie's eyes were focused on him. They quickly shifted over to Chimney though in confusion when the other man answered for Buck. However, even though Chim was the one doing the talking, Eddie's eyes quickly went back to Buck so that he could gage his reaction. The more Chimney revealed, the more Eddie figured it was an exaggeration, but seeing Buck's reaction made him wonder just how accurate that was. Obviously he could understand why Abby would want to reach out to him because of how attractive he was, but even in the short time that he had known Buck, Eddie knew that there was way more to him than just his looks.

After hearing all that, it wasn't surprising to see Buck quickly leave the conversation. Eddie waited a few beats before standing up. "I'm just going to go..." He pointed in the direction that Buck headed off to and figured that he really didn't need to specify to Hen and Chim exactly where he was heading off to. It took a few minutes to track down Buck, but once he finally did, Eddie didn't want to come out and directly as him how he was doing, so he settled on a neutral opening question. "So were you able to track down what Cap wants us all to do today yet?"

Hiding a wince when Eddie said he'd gotten lucky with Shannon, Buck didn't quite know where the reaction came from but he did know it wasn't one he should outwardly have. He wasn't jealous of Eddie, necessarily... or was he? Did he wish he'd found someone young and was still with them? And had a kid? The fact that Buck never imagined those things for himself, since he still practically felt like a kid up until Abby made him think not, but then why did it bother him that Eddie said it?

The thought prickled in his brain, and he thought he caught a glimmer of it, "what if you were meant for somebody else, Eddie?" but it was quickly dashed away and he set to thinking about the question posed to him. (Un)fortunately for him, he didn't have to come up with an answer, since the other two were still more than willing to jump in for her.

"No chance. She quit her reliable job, packed up everything of importance to her, and went to Eat, Pray, Love in Europe? With a bunch of hot, cultured guys with accents? Sure, Buck is plenty special to us, but considering she only asked him out after she saw him and those baby blues on the television? She just needed him to reawaken her libido before-"

"Chim." Hen's voice was somehow gentle but firm, as even she saw he was going too far. Sure, neither of them liked Abby very much for hurting Buck, but bashing her to that extent wasn't supposed to happen around Buck. Clearly Chimney had gotten so focused on telling it to Eddie that he had let the very real fact that Buck was right there slip right out of his mind.

Buck was holding his mug like he was one Herculean squeeze from cracking the ceramic in his hands, eyes focused far off on the rafters. He took a big swig of coffee, which he then clearly regretted by the look of pain on his face as it burned down his throat and set the coffee down. "Gonna see if Cap has that chore list done yet." He said as he hopped to his feet and moved like only someone with his long of legs could to the stairs and down, not looking back when both Chimney and Hen sent slightly out of sync but still matching toned "Buck!"s after him. Hen turned her head to give a disappointed, withering look at Chimney who weakly shrugged. "It's been months. He needs to stop acting like she was his one shot at love."