#he deserve better than to have his name taken by darkling

[sarascamander]

Okay but if the hypothetical season 3 is based on King of Scars, I think it'd be funny to have Count Kirigan around. Like this guy is just there trying to have a good day but everybody refused to call him by his name and he was stuck as "Jared" instead 😂

[cheekygreenty]

Hi, I just saw your prompt list for Shadow&Bone!! could you possibly do No. 2 from Angst, but like with a happy ending? Like reader n Kirigan are togeather but then Alina's comes along.. just, please let be happy at the end. I like angst, but my heart can't handle sad endings 😢😢 thank you!!! ❤❤

Future- The Darkling x Reader

(Very very angsty with a happy (?) ending. It made me cry a lil bit writing it ngl)

You trusted him, wholeheartedly. At least that's what you told yourself every day since she came to the Little Palace; the place you had always called home, where you felt safe from the prying eyes of the public.

Yet now, the place was fueled by harsh rumors of him and her. Everywhere you went you could hear a whisper, nobody tried to hide it anymore, the words were always entirely devoted to your crumbling union;

'I thought they were happy'

We were.

'How can he and Alina not be together, it's destiny.'

I'm starting to think so too.

You didn't acknowledge it. Just put on a sweet smile and a brave face. Don't let them see you're hurting. Even in your own home, you had to pretend and lie, which at the end of the day, when you laid in an empty bed, made you exhausted.

He told you she meant nothing more to him than a mere weapon. But that was when she first came and when he still managed to make it to your shared chambers and would whisper sweet nothings as you fell asleep.

It was different now, on more than one occasion you caught a glimpse of them together, him looking at her the way he always looked at you. However much he claimed to be a good actor and manipulator, there was something there and he couldn't deny it either.

You hadn't confronted him about it yet fearing that if you did, the truth would hurt and sting and make all those rumors true. In addition, you haven't seen him in days and the last time you did, he told you to stay away from the wonderful Sun-Summoner.

The truth was you knew deep down in your heart that she wasn't at fault. That she was not the root of the problem. You constantly fought with yourself to stop any hatred you felt towards her. She was lovely, kind compassionate, and innocent. She didn't deserve to feel your wrath.

But with that came the confusion of who to blame. You or Him. It made you tired and weak. The smallest of tasks made you drained and tears would well in your eyes at the thought of having to live another day like this, a day full of questioning yourself and the man you loved more than anything in the world.

No matter how much of a strong person you swore you were, this was taking a substantial toll on you. He had become your support network and he knew it, he loved it. He always said he finally felt appreciated when you came around, that he wasn't alone anymore. He had conditioned you to be this way. When times got tough, he was always your shoulder to cry on.

No doubt that shoulder was now next to Alina. Perhaps they went on a horse ride, visited the Black Heretic fountain, or were enjoying a rendezvous next to the lake.

You didn't want to know, all that mattered was that he wasn't there with you when you were falling apart. Maybe you relied on him too much.

You wondered if he noticed the whispers too, or the way you'd been missing crucial meetings, or even if he noticed you wearing your red kefta more often, ditching the black once you'd heard Genya speak of making a golden-black kefta for Alina, per the Darkling's request.

That was a punch in the gut. It hurt more than him avoiding conversation with you or even his deterrence of touching you. He had bestowed his colors to her when not even three months ago he didn't know she existed. It had taken you a long time to gain his trust and don his signature black yet all she had to do was waltz in and show up. And it hurt.

And now here you were, training the next generation of heartrenderers, as you did almost every day. You had given your life to the Little Palace and its Grisha and this is how you were being repaid. Not even Ivan, who you had shaped into an excellent soldier, had looked your way lately.

'Excuse me Ms. Y/L/N I have an urgent request from the General' You whipped your head around to the young Grisha boy with an obviously hurt look on your face which he couldn't understand.

'Of course' you choked out and took the piece of paper from his hands and watched him in sorrow as he left.

Ms.Y/L/N? what happened to moya sovereignny? You were never one to uphold the formality, but this was just another blow to your confidence. You were no longer referred to as his other half which only meant your position in the palace was quickly dwindling.

You opened the wax-sealed envelope and took out the thick sheet of paper. There was a time when he himself would deliver the news to you himself and use it as an excuse to spend extra time with you.

'I cannot make it to the meeting with the King this evening, attend and report back to me anything relevant, no horse business'

You scoffed loudly, drawing attention from the young Corporalki around you and leaned on the table in front of you. Not even a please or thank you. With the note clutched in your hand and tears of frustration in your eyes, you stormed out of the Corporalki room and towards his war room.

You peeked through the open door and seen him. He didn't look at all busy as he chatted with Zoya, Ivan, Fedyor, and some other Squaller you didn't recognize. Zoya threw her head back in laughter at something Fedyor said but Aleksander kept his stony expression. You threw the door open dramatically and everyone froze.

'Leave us' you cautioned as Aleksander's onyx eyes looked right into your own.

Nobody moved but Zoya was the first to speak ' Y/N, we're actually in a meeting if you couldn't tell' while everyone nodded along, except him.

You never had anything against anyone in that room, but in that moment you couldn't help yourself and used your small science to bring everyone to their knees in front of you, except him.

'Leave us' His voice rang out in the midst of their sharp breaths and chest-clutching. They scrambled to their feet and left one by one, Fedyor quietly muttering 'moya sovereignny' as he passed you which filled you with some courage. The door shut and the sound echoed over the walls.

You threw the note across the room and let it hit his arm. 'Did you forget your manners General? Or does it only apply to the people you claim to love?'

'Funny you should say that Y/N, you haven't attended any meetings in weeks without providing a reason. You're making me look like a fool'

'I'M MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL?!' Your tears were now streaming down your face, falling quicker than you could wipe them away.

He stayed silent and that broke your heart even more, he could've said something, anything.

'Aleksander, I'm trying to keep myself together for everyone, I'm trying so very hard to appear normal and happy but I don't think I can do this any longer. The whispers and the rumors, watching you and her-' You slid down the door and sat on the floor, head resting on your knees. '-It's getting to me.... and it's killing me.'

You thanked the Saints you didn't see his face, for the silence spoke for itself. He didn't deny anything or reach out to comfort you. I've lost him.

'All I wanted was a happy ending.' You laughed a sad laugh that pulled at his heartstrings. With your eyes still facing away from him, you didn't see his hand go up to wipe the lone tear that fell down his face or the slight shake in his hands as he did so. He had no words that would comfort you. He knew what he'd done. He'd been avoiding you ever since he realized it. He didn't want to see you cry or see how his actions affected you.

Telling you that it means nothing to him was of no use. You had it in your mind now, forever engrained around his name, the rumors wouldn't stop and Alina was still around. He truly felt nothing of importance for her. All she meant for him was a key to a better future with you.

He approached you slowly, getting down on his knees next to you. He took your hand in his and held it up to his lips. He never prayed, but right now he silently muttered words to all the Saints. Don't let her leave.

'I'm so sorry Darling. Y/N I love you so much.'

'But you love her more' You yanked your hands away.

'NO. no. Y/N. I swear it. You are everything to me' He had grown serious now, he wanted you to look at him. He missed you.

'Then explain why you're parading her around like a Queen, letting her wear your colors, probably sleeping in her bed'

'I have never toucher her in that way. I'm yours Y/N.' Please look at me.

You lifted your head and looked at his beautiful face. He too looked tired, exhausted. His eyes were red and puffy. Saints, I've never seen him cry.

'You will have a happy ending. I promise Darling' He took your face into his hands and connected your foreheads together. 'I promise. I'm doing everything I can to make sure you will, and even if I can't, I swear you will you and our children-'

Children. Aleksander never spoke of them to the point where you had settled with the idea you'll never have them. Something about the desperation in his voice made you believe him, Aleksander was strong, he never gave up but he also never sacrificed himself for anybody. Up until now, you didn't think yourself worthy enough to be saved in exchange for him.

'-I would give up everything to see you and them safe, away from harm's way. Right now, the world doesn't deserve them, but once I do what I have to do, I'll give you children. However many you want, Just stay. Please'

You were borderline hysterical as you melted into his embrace. Weeks of frustration and hurt disappeared into thin air. Aleksander held you so tight you were having trouble breathing but you didn't care. He held you all day and all night. All meetings and tasks forgotten.

He explained everything in detail, from the stag and firebird to what happens if things don't go to plan. He kept nothing from you, not even the stress and pressure he felt. You comforted him as he always does to you. You fell asleep together and dreamed of a life with a happy ending, one where you never had to doubt his motives, you dreamed of your future.

Taglist (if you want to be added, plz tell me!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld

@0-artemis

[amiramorozova]

Dual Summoner x The Darkling pt. 17

Looking around we were alone still so he leaned down and kissed me as I kissed him back. I didn't want people to find out about us right away. While we were in our moment we heard someone suddenly walk up and clear their throat. Pulling away from each other we saw that it was Baghra. I knew the next few training sessions she wasn't going to go easy on me.

"I hope you had fun because you'll be working twice as hard until you make up your time." Baghra said, "and you will meet me out at night by the lake to train what we didn't for years." 

"You don't have to be so hard on her, you know she's dedicated to her studies. Everyone deserves a break." Aleksander said, "She is my soldier, I get to tell her what to do." 

The tension between the two of them was clear as day to me being they were both shadow summoners. I could see he was tense and I put my hand on his arm as he looked at me, the conversation we had was clear. Baghra insisted I come with her instead of staying there with him.

"I'll find you later." Aleksander said to me

"Of course." I said 

Walking over to Baghra I saw her take a look at me, her eyes stopping at the necklace around my neck. She didn't directly say anything when we started walking together to her training area, I knew that there was a lot to do. The fold was on my mind and the options of making it a weapon or destroying it lingered with me. I knew if I sided with him on making it a weapon I could be branded a heretic like him. Once inside the area Baghra had me sit and sat across from me as she waited. 

"Call the water." She said

I put my hands together following her orders as I had water come to my hands and it was a big ball in between my hands. I had done some training while I was there when I was with Nico. Just the thought of Nico and that fight made me falter and I lost it as I covered my eyes. 

"You aren't focusing enough." Baghra said as she hit my arm.

"Stop it." I said, "I had a bad day yesterday." 

"How could you have a bad day? You went out with the general. A week of freedom from this place." Baghra said 

"I ran into an old friend, he's in the first army." I said as I removed my hand looking at her "He was pressing his opinions at me and I got angry. We had a fight." 

"Is that why you have a darkling's symbol around your neck?" Baghra said "You are becoming like all the other Grisha girls." 

I stood up knowing she knew how much I hated the idea of her comparing me to the other girls. I was holding strong on not being anyone's pet. Aleksander had promised I wouldn't be his pet but something more. I put my hands together and brought the water back as I had it the same size then I expanded it as she watched and nodded. Then I let it go and I put my hands together as I called forth the light. Her surprise at how strong it looked made me wonder what happened and I just held it.

"Were you training over there?" Baghra asked

"He told me I didn't have to but I did. When you literally see the fold in close distance it kinda fuels you to want to get better." I said 

She had me show a few of my father's techniques which I still struggled with but I managed to form them. I was glad this Kefta was able to let me move and when we were done she had me sit. Thoughts were going through her head I could see as she got up and got something to drink bringing it over to me and I took it. We both sat quietly drinking as I waited for her to lash out or say something.

"I must confess something." Baghra said 

"What is that?" I asked

"Your father made a deal with me." Baghra said 

"I'm aware, you promised to keep his child safe if anything happened." I said 

"Well that was the deal we made after the first deal." Bahra said 

I looked at her curiously now because she'd never mentioned this before on what was going on. I started to think of what else they could have made a deal on besides everything that had happened. Still, I waited to see if her answer was going to be as I took another sip of my drink.

"When Aleksander was a boy, I traveled a lot when I came across your father for the first time. He was cold and trying to use so little of his power to maintain warmth. So I offered to train him but I wanted something in return." Baghra said 

"What?" I asked

"I told him I would train him to control his power and hide them. In return, if he had a daughter, I wanted her to marry Aleksander to form a unity between the two families as I had a feeling she would be like him." Baghra said, "I knew Aleksander would be eternal so it did not matter how long he would have to wait for her to be in his life...this was before the fold was ever created and before his healer was killed. Now we are here and I have tried everything to keep you from Aleksander but you are a dual summoner. Grisha Born of two bloodlines who can use two kinds of the small science and it feeds you every time you use it." 

I had taken another sip of my drink when Baghra had told this story about my father. It went down wrong and I had to cough a bit to clear my throat, not the first time someone has shocked me with information. Aleksander and Baghra were good with catching me off guard but I looked at her knowing that at first I considered she was lying.

"You arranged this but now you don't want me to be with him." I said 

"I don't want him to use you Amira. He has had enough time to manipulate naive girls." Baghra said 

"Well he isn't manipulating me. He knows I know the truth about him, all the names people called or call him." I said "I asked him about the fold this morning." 

"Merzosts was a forbidden science, but he used it." Baghra said "I wanted a Grisha daughter-in-law who would not die so easily." 

"stop interfering Baghra, you made this arrangement you cannot back out of it. Maybe I can do more than you're thinking. We can make Grisha safe and maybe the fold can help in some ways. I can't do it alone, I know that already." I said "Wait did you know my grandparents?"

Baghra seemed shocked at my words and I hadn't decided whether I wanted to destroy the fold or help expand it. "Yes Amira, I know your father's parents. They're alive and in hiding." Baghra said. Knowing she knew them surprised me and they were alive but where were they? I knew I needed to talk to Aleksander about what Baghra had done and the arrangement she'd made with my father. I left without saying a word after I set the cup down and walked back into the little palace. So much going through my mind at the moment and not enough time to process it all. 

As I walked around I came across Marie and Nadia as I waved to them to get their attention. I noticed Marie was distracted by a heartrender and I watched as they were talking, getting a little closer just in case any help was needed I waited. I saw her accidentally light him on fire and I put my hands together and used water to help extinguish the fire as they both saw me.

"Amira, welcome back." Marie said, then I saw her eyes go to my necklace "Oh"

"Thank you, it seems you uh were about to hurt this heartrender." I said 

"I am Sergei Beznekov, I was asking Marie out." Sergei said 

"So you set him on fire by accident?" I asked Marie

"I panicked, no one has asked me out before." Marie said "But you clearly have been asked out." 

I touched my necklace knowing that it was a symbol of protection but a symbol of claim on me too. I couldn't tell Marie that Baghra had arranged for us to be together, not until I could tell her everything. 

"Yeah, sort of. Happened last night." I said 

"Well take things slow, if you can." Marie said

"Of course." I said nodding

I needed space so I walked away from them and headed off to figure out what I was going to tell Aleksander. I knew that there was so much more than I could possibly do at this moment, but the fact remained that I had free will. If I chose to turn my back on him one day he would be hurt but at the same time I was falling for him.

Once he knows the truth will he try to insist we get married right away? I thought

I shook the thought from my mind quickly. Marriage was a big step and I was nowhere read to have that commitment. I needed time to think about all of what I knew and what I had been told. Most of all I knew I had another task at hand which would be finding my grandparents to meet them for the first time.

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

im angrier this time? netflix shadow and bone s1e7 re-watch (substituting alcohol with iced coffee this time) (oh, also, spoilers)

yes jesper shooting ketterdam cards title card omg I straight up forgot that this was the darkling backstory episode we all know I love bin bons as much as the next person but um can we petition to never see the flashback darkling look again I kind of love Luda but I find the entire backstory kind of unnecessary even though I get why they did it okay mr. barnes king of micro-expressions alright fuck you show makers with you breaking my heart showing me how the Grisha have had to go through this countless times that they have their plans memorized oy dumbass otkazat'sya man you speak the darkling's name with some respect alright I've got to accept the tricck they use against the king's men is pretty cool omg you fucking bitch this is exactly why people say acab I've seen people say why couldn't he have broken his bonds and killed them before they killed Luda and I truly believe a) he didn't want to kill unnecessarily and b) Luda's life was at stake so like I get it okay so I don't like the 'just mortal' thing they brought it to sort of drive darklina soulmates agenda home because lmao that is not why okay I get Baghra's points but I don't like her, she like made more sense in the books her position on merzost is true to the books but like her pacifist stance is not the same and it just doesn't make sense okay I like the poc tidemaker in their company the score when the king's men soon to be volcra confront the darkling is impeccable that blast of darkness that we see spread outwards from him was very cool dunno how I feel about him hyperventilating and the fold flowing from him like an inky black liquid god, the score when baghra asks alek 'what did you do' is so eerie and beautiful that transition was on fucking point HOW IS KANEJ IS SO ON POINT I SIMPLY CANNOT the Inej Jesper bond is so beautiful I love it okay I love and hate how they refer to Inej's horrible time at the Menagerie so briefly and yet try to add so much impact to it omg why is Jesper about to make me cry cut to Malina huddled together? okay, show god I hate how the amplifier storyline is so incredibly poorly developed the stag is so beautiful I can't 'maybe there's another way to do this'?! again with the sgegehshshsjsjs I hate it here, fucking explain it at least okay fine the shot of Alina lighting up as she touches the stag and smiling with the soft violin in the back was beautiful now time to say bye to the stag and cry I guess okay I love zoya, she feels very authentic to book 1 zoya with maybe a few tweaks we love to see a man with plot armour uwu okay Alina my fucking queen taking out the arrow would cause him to bleed out faster why would you do that the dumbassery okay alek you overdramatic bitch I LOVED THE LIGHT SHIELD lmao I'm gonna cry at how nasal and supervillain-y the Darkling sounds when he says 'you can't save them all Alina' like okay king maybe that line could have better delivery I'm so sorry I love you so much I'm still a BB stan 'you've lost too much blood' maybe if you wouldn't have taken the arrow out you dumbass 'you said you wouldn't hurt him' nobody said that Alina but I get it you've been through a lot you're obviously not thinking love the cut, she's always cool 'miss starkov' you're in tsarist russia stfu ono I'm not prepared for this Kanej scene I need several minutes they're so perfect 'Jesper fixed your cane' I see you writers thinking they're clever omg Amita shivering from the cold babe I'm so proud of you you're so incredibly cool I love his little jaw movements before he says 'you were right' and her composing herself before turning around due to the shock of hearing these words from Kaz's mouth okay we've all talked about the voice break when he says 'she's real' so I will not dwell on it but it was beautiful the little head bend after he says 'and you' as if catching himself before saying 'and jesper' yes sir that was very convincing AAAAAHHHH IT'S HAPPENING I CAN'T COPE yeah okay fuck you I'm crying Kaz's expression at 'I can't go back to the Menagerie' being literally 'I can't believe

you think I'll ever let that happen' you fucking idiots I hate you and how much you love each other you are disgusting David so much so as breathes I love him Him saying 'Im going to place this around your neck' comedic genius David looks so sad my baby angel it's not your fault get that man's true name out of your mouth Starkov you're not supposed to know it let alone say it in front of other people aleksander this is the first time I've truly disliked you, you fucking asshole, Alina my love please don't believe him (why am I saying it like I haven't read the books and watched this already) LUKE HAVING ACTUAL TEARS IN HIS EYES AS HE PLACES THE ANTLERS AT HER NECK WHY IS HE SO GOOD AAAAAAAAA I didn't notice Ivan slowing her heart on my first watch, is that to reduce the pain ouch I am even more sad now okay Jessie you did it again Emmy time for all of these people okay the violin being sad and terrifying this is so good Luke being sad, Jessie literally crying I fucking can't do this anymore 'this is my power' 'but now I control it' really? that was the best you could do at this scene that is meant to have this great of an impact? him sort of pushing her down made me even more upset I'm so mad right now Freddie's microexpression with the eye when Inej says 'Jes has a point' Jessie looks so perfectly shell-shocked, I love them so so much the prosthetic's so gross, I love it so much DAISY HEAD IS THE PERFECT GENYA I WILL ACCEPT NO COMPLAINTS She brought me to tears and I love it Alina pointing out the Darkling's role in Genya's circumstances this early on, we love to see a well deserved call out it seemed very unlikely to me that Kaz would agree to go home empty handed but I do think it would make sense to cut their losses at a certain point I love the Kribirsk camp sets far too much, they seem to have literally leapt out of the books the darkling coming to see Mal seems very fanservice-ey and not at all adding to the plot in any way but I love it Archie bringing that youthful brashness to Mal that we all know he would have is wonderful mal calling the darkling 'shadow man' lmao I'm gonna cry 'you are a child' yeah Alek babe it's best you don't talk about that Alina is of the same age as he is I wanna go to Ben Barnes' school of nose acting because god damn Archie perfectly bringing to life Mal's realisation of the impact that Alina's immortality will bring to their life together oof sir you don't understand how perfect it is that Ben's eyes are actually that dark 'you'll wish you killed me here' it's okay honey you lost this one the Crows being the Crows I love them can we please have Jesper wearing the Zemeni man's red suit be a stepping stone to him wearing fancy clothes of outrageous colours like lime green and orange in the six of crows timeline because the fans will lose their shit and you know it Inej looking fucking fabulous in her suit I can't Kanej smiling at their crazy little bi son's antics okay can we talk about Milo literally saving the day because writer's room im looking at you you're a bunch of crazy mfers and I love you but I also hate you also I get that Mal's a tracker but would he actually have food in his pocket I know this joke has been made before but like Mal pretending to be asleep after waking the guard up is every teenager pretending to be asleep when their parents come to check on them in the middle of the night omg it's the scene those beautiful gauzy curtains at the door of the tent, I want them so bad 'you are special' he says standing stiffly at the door with a creepy inflection why am I suddenly an anti wtf I want his kefta so bad though 'my parents' I love that the show added her losing her parents to him as well because well it makes him even more villanous in her eyes doesn't it no matter what she might have felt for him uwu first fight as a couple (I'm kidding please stop) I love Jessie as Alina so much darkles don't even go off comparing being Grisha to being half-shu you can't compare experiences of being the other that interchangeably yes baby call him out on his

hypocrisy man I'm so conflicted like I understand his motivations and his story so well but like how is this helping okay but Alina's expression changing ever so slightly at him saying 'you and me' stop breaking my fucking heart assholes why is Jessie breaking my heart more on this watch than Ben did on the first one I knew it before he said it but I still gasped when he did on my first watch the little head tilt after he says it still with tears in his fucking eyes man I love this show this was the most devastating break up I have ever experienced and I will not accept any counter arguments okay actual villain time we love to see it sir please don't erotically remove her cloak you have long lost the right again I knew it before they said it but them saying it had me screaming WHAT A GLORIOUS EPISODE

[something-tofightfor]

I really hope Ben stays away from anything live action Disney. He needs something better. I’m not digging this Darkling crap. I wish he had a better agent and better decisions with his career. He has so much potential to win awards and make great films/series.

Short answer: He’s going do do what he wants because as an actor. He’s made a name for himself and has earned the right to take/try out for the roles that he wants… and as fans, all we can do is sit back and watch, even when we disagree. I don’t think there’s any actor or actress that I can think of that I enjoy that has taken on GREAT roles every step of the way… but I’ll agree that this is frustrating for me.

Longer answer: I agree. I think that Disney live action movies are a waste of time. The Jungle Book was incredible, and the CGI/cast were phenomenal, but I feel like everything since has been super lackluster… specifically Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King. I’m not sure why they feel the need to remake every single movie into a ‘live action’ version�� it’s unnecessary, CLEARLY a cash grab (because the originals are still incredible and classics and don’t NEED to be updated). As much as I love Ben, and think he looks SUPER YOUNG … the story of Rapunzel is meant to be about an 18 year old girl. Ben is nowhere near 18. Pairing him with a girl in a love story that is MEANT to be 18 is not a good choice. Voice acting is one thing - because it’s cartoon characters and older voices… but that’s not what live action is. I already have an issue with the age difference between The Darkling and Alina in S&B (or, I guess I should say what I THINK the age difference will be onscreen, because who knows WTF they’re going to do there) … and two projects in a row like that would be hard to take. I think that a huge issue with fancasting (especially with him) is that people don’t care about the character in question per se, they just want to see an actor or an actress that they like in a specific part. For example… Ben as Sirius. The pictures that people seem to always use for this are literally more than a decade old - he looks different now He’s not 26. He’s not Caspian age anymore. They get it in their heads that someone is PERFECT for a part, and then even if it doesn’t make logical sense at the present time, won’t let it go. (Batman, Flynn, Sirius, The Darkling …. but LB got her wish 8 years later) 

He does have a lot of potential, but at the same time, he’s only able to work with the scripts that he has available, as well as with the studios that will allow him to audition for the parts they provide him. He seems to be having fun on set with the S&B cast, but unfortunately, when he’s out in large groups (at that dinner, in the dance party video) it’s painfully clear that there is an age gap between him and the rest of the main cast. I don’t want that for him, (not that what I want matters, but) and would love to see him do something else in the vein of Gold Digger (which I enjoyed a hell of a lot more than I thought I would) or even Jackie and Ryan or Westworld. 

He hasn’t made a movie since J&R, and that’s a damn shame. I know he had to switch agents/reps early 2019 because his old agent quit, and it seems like whoever he’s working with now has been working hard to keep his name relevant… but again, doing the SAME convention twice in the span of 7 months, not doing ANY smaller more intimate conventions in the United States, or outside of Europe? It makes no sense. He has so many fans in other areas of the world, it just seems like he’s really limiting himself in both the way he presents himself to people at events like conventions and with the roles he takes/tries out for/focuses on, and I’m curious as to why. He owes the fans nothing, and I have to hand it to him - he seems to be super focused on making sure that everyone that meets him/that he works with gets the attention that he feels they deserve… but that doesn’t mean that I want to see him languishing away in mediocre roles for the rest of his career, however long that may be. 

Thanks for your message! 

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Breaking Glass Ceilings

Birthday gift for @bluerosesburnblue, that pairs Ephemer with her version of Player “Sanya”:

Summary: When Ephemer and Sanya have their first meeting and mission together in ages, things seem great... But this begins to unravel, when Sanya remembers everything, Brain contemplates many a thing, and more of the Master of Master’s plan is undone.

Breaking Glass Ceilings

Sanya looked at Ephemer, finding it hard to keep her crush on him in check.

It was stupid, she knew—since she barely knew the guy—but what could she say? He had been one of her first friends, and that stuck.

Plus, the boy was beautiful. So, there was that.

But Sanya tried to put all of this on the backburner—as she always did—and instead tried to figure out the mystery that was Daybreak Town right now.

There was some sort of hologram of it appearing above the Foretellers’ Tower? Well, that didn’t bode well to Sanya.

It reminded her of a movie that had, ironically, been playing when the Master of Masters had still been around: That had dealt with people thinking that the world they were in was the actual dream.

And while the light within Sanya didn’t want to believe that that was the case, she had to wonder. Wouldn’t it explain a lot of the things that were happening lately?

But until Sanya knew more—because in her eyes, she wasn’t wise—she was reserving judgement.

But when Brain began explaining things, in a sort of techno-babble that Sanya couldn’t keep up with at all…  from the few things she’d been able to understand, she thought her suspicion might have been correct.

And when Sanya and Ephemer entered the very data-esque world of Sugar Rush, she began praying that Fix-It-Felix-Junior would somehow fix her world back to the way it had been before:

Sanya ended up telling Ephemer as much… and about her suspicions with other things.

At night—while the two of them were in some sort of candy forest, and using candy canes as sticks for fire—Sanya asked the question that had been playing on her mind for so long. “I’m having… dreams about the Keyblade War. And that can’t be, because that didn’t happen. Right? So whyam I dreaming these things so vividly? It actually happened. Didn’t it, Ephemer? And if so… can we believe in our own world at all?”

There it was: Everything Sanya had been regretfully mulling over for a long while now.

She had been afraid to give voice to any of it, in thinking it would make it real, and she hated herself for doing so now.

But at the same time… it was sort of liberating to finally have it all out in the open. And Sanya was taken aback to find just how much she wanted to move onto the next issue. Was it her heart’s way of trying to endure the pain?

Ephemer’s silence and face was the clear answer to all of this for Sanya: His mouth was now agape—as if he meant to say something—and his hands were reached out to, perhaps, hug her.

And if that was his intent—Sanya didn’t know for sure—she knew she would have turned him down here: Even with her crush on him and love for this friend, she would have done that.

“Sanya… I’m sosorry. I wouldn’t have done it if Master Ava hadn’t insisted. Or moreover, if I didn’t know how you’d been after the War.” And it was here, that Sanya reallywanted to yell at him: That they were her memories, and no one had had any right to take them or to make judgement calls for her. And that, weren’t those who didn’t know history doomed to repeat it? But Sanya just resisted doing so:

For one thing, Ephemer had just been a cog in the machine here. Her outrage should have been at Lady Ava again.

But most of all… their main thing should be surviving the Cy-Bugs right now, that Calhoun was certain would get to this world any moment. And if both Cy-Bugs and Heartless both came to exist here, Sanya didn’t know how they’d survive it. But she and her Chirithy would sure try to fight!

Deciding to look at the positive for just a moment—because the negatives would certainly come back to haunt her in her dreams—Sanya recalled a certain memory of Ephemer’s hand in her own, and had to ask: “So… do I actually know you more than I think do?”

Ephemer laughed at this—something that was music to Sanya’s ears, because there still needed to be some happiness in the world. And she didn’twant everything to be ruined between them forever—before saying with his hands up in the air again, “Not really. No? …’cept for the time Skuld and I came and rescued you in the Keyblade Graveyard. But you’ve actually spent more time with Skuld than me—maybe you remember that?—but you guys did spend a while looking for me, so maybe you were thinking of me then.... I’m sorry about that.”

Ephemer was scratching his head nervously now.

It was, despite everything, a lovely sight. And did not hint how in a few hours’ time, of how the cookie would crumble

Right now… Sanya just yawned—said she’d had enough of the heavy, and that they’d continue their search for Ralph in the morning—and stretched out and went to sleep.

As she dreamed, she saw that the only way to leave this world… might be to kill themselves in it.

…

When Sanya woke up, she felt some of the fury she’d stamped down the previous night rising up.

And while Chirithy was a pleasant presence by her side—trying to convince her to let it go—she couldn’t get over just how she’d been betrayed.

And if she really had been closer to Skuld and knew her better… It hurt even more, to know that she had also done this: Not that Ephemer had said that, but it wasn’t hard to guess.

There was even a dark part of her (and a scared one), that thought maybe they all deserved to be stuck in this data structure, then, or whatever it was.

Ava had meant for them to get out into the New World and to begin again… But if even they, the hope, behaved like this, why even curse the world with such humans again?

“Don’t dwell on it, Sanya,” Chirithy said sadly, as he crawled up onto her lap and put her face between his fuzzy paws. “Dwelling on the bad is what led to the Dark Chirithy last time,”  

Sanya frowned. She definitely didn’t want a situation like that to rear its ugly head again—she still remembered what Dark Chirithy said: “See you in another dream”—and still had nightmares about it.

But while it had been her dwelling on the knowledge that some of her friends wouldn’t survive the Keyblade War, that led to the Nightmare…

Sanya also thought keeping it all bottled up inside her wasn’t good, either. Hadn’t that been why she’d blown up at Master Ava, when she’d been disguised as Master Ira and saying she’d killed Ephemer? Hadn’t that led to darkness in her own heart?

She’d even nearly wanted to her friendship with Ephemer just now, since he’d taken her memories of the war; and Sanya didn’t think that was right: Despite their best efforts, bits and pieces of the horrors were coming back to her. And since she already recalled them, she wished she at least had the context to make sense of it all.

…The “Riku” medals also used darkness, and they were fine… As was everyone when they used Special Attack Bonus over Guilting now, so was it possible… that darkness maybe wasn’t as bad as they’d all come to believe?

That seemed hard to believe, as the two of them rested warily in the candy forest and only half-slept in fear of Heartless and Cy-Bugs… but it was what it was.

Sanya was even tempted to wake Ephemer, and to get his opinion on all of this… But she didn’t.

Suddenly possessed by the urge to go to the Foretellers’ Tower for the third time now—and to do it secretly, for she didn’t know what she’d do—Sanya decided to leave this mission unfinished for the moment (things seemed okay right now. And should the worst happen, Ephemer was there and she’d be right back), and to get back to the data version of Daybreak Town or whatever it was.

She ran back through Grand Central Station, through the circuit—battling a few more Darklings here and there as she did so: her heart breaking for them—and was in the sewers heading up before she could blink.

Not really, of course. But Sanya was so used to going into them now, that the moment she reached the place she could almost believe no time had passed at all in getting to the Tower.

And then she was finding her way back into the room Brain had been in—she thought that was his name—with all the gears.

And as she eyed them… Sanya felt all sorts of suspicions setting in, that she couldn’t help.

Having a room like this—and choosing to spend all your time in it—just seemed devious to Sanya: She didn’t care if it was needed to power this Daybreak Town or not…

His being in here all the time—when it could surely sometimes run on auto-pilot—made it seem like he saw the people he worked with as the very cogs here.

And Sanya felt that watching a pendulum swing, or a clock tower, wouldn’t be much different.

And Sanya knew of a time—when she’d been new to this role—that the Master of Masters had been doing exactly those things, as she caught a vision of him.

So, did that mean he’d been playing a game from the get-go, too? And if so… what had they done in following him?!

Breathing heavily, Sanya summoned Treasure Trove to her hand—to which Chirithy sadly objected—and she prepared to do battle with Brain, if it came to it.

Fortunately, he didn’t seem to think that her action was hostile, though—and truthfully, Sanya wasn’t yet sure if it was—and as he watched her from beneath the brim of his hat, he asked: “Sanya, what are you doing here? The task you were supposed to be doing with Ephemer isn’t complete yet.”

Sanya was tempted to quip that she only took orders from Master Ava, who he wasn’t, but she didn’t.

There was no need to be passive-aggressive, and for it to turn into something truly aggressive yet.

So, she just questioned softly, “If we really have been in the Virtual Twilight Town—and have been since Master Ava created the Dandelions, without our knowing—will we ever even know if we can get out of it? And if we can… What awaits us out there? Wewere supposed to repopulate the world after the Keyblade War, weren’t we? And if we didn’t… is there even anything out there? And if there somehow is… Who knows how long we’ve been in here? Will we get out with everything being completely different? …Is any of this even worth it?”

Brain smiled at Sanya—that she couldn’t help feeling was a good thing—but why did it also make her uneasy?

And he tipped his hat to her once, while admitting: “That’s very good. You know about the Book of Prophecies, and how we used to use it to project future versions of the worlds to go to. So as long as we could do that, surely it meant a future with those worlds still existed.

“However… you were here for my lecture towards Ephemer and Ventus, and know that we’re now going to data versions of the formerly prophesized worlds… Those can exist indefinitely, even if the worlds themselves didn’t come to exist, if something went awry. So, no: There’s no way to tell just by our going to the worlds anymore that the worlds exist. The fact that the Master has us going to data worlds now may even be a clue that he didn’t think there would be worlds… But don’t you still think it’s best to try?”

Try… Sanya didn’t know what it was—beneath Brain’s simple outfit and laidback personality, that seemed designed to say the opposite—but she thought he’d try until his dying breath… Which seemed like the right thing to do. But could there be too much of a good thing?

It was at that point that Ephemer joined them. And at first, Sanya first looked at him ashamed: because with Ephemer gone… had Ralph’s world lost the best chance it had? …But at the same time, these things needed hammering out.

“I thought you two might be here,” Ephemer said pleasantly enough, though his smile seemed to disappear just when he took in their serious expressions. “…What’s going on?”

Forgetting the idea she’d had earlier, about all of them dying to do this—had that been the darkness getting to her?—Sanya spoke an idea that appeared in her head when she was speaking it… and somehow instantly knew it was right:

“I think- I think we need to reenter the outside world again, and to do so- We should unplug Daybreak Town from Game Central Station and let it completely off the grid.”

Sanya hoped they got what she meant by letting Daybreak Town go “off the grid”: She meant to have it lose all its power, and for everyone to stop doing missions for the time being: That way, whoever was observing them in the real world would notice the change, come check on them, and maybe they could follow them out that way.

“But that completely goes against the Master’s plans,” Ephemer answered with a depressed undertone to his voice. Almost looking at Sanya as if he was seeing her for the first time, which stung.

And right away, she had wanted to retort that she didn’t exactly trust the Master of Masters—and if Sanya was gauging Brain’s silence correctly, he didn’t either—but she was also far from knowing all the answers: And from who she’d been when she’d undergone darkness training with Hades, just so she could save Hercules: While there was a side of Sanya beginning to think that light and darkness needed to be kept in balance—didn’t most of the future medals have darkness to them?—she also still hated herself for the Nightmare Chirithy situation, and because so many friends of hers had died in the Keyblade War. Because the Foretellers-

And Sanya didn’t trust herself to not do something atrocious with this darkness eating away at her. So, for many a reason, she was thinking she should just give the benefit of the doubt that the Master was right…

But on the off-chance she wasn’t, she also wanted to lay groundwork for someone else to begin what she started.

“Ephemer… you’re perhaps my dearest friend. And a leader—if I’m understanding things correctly—so whatever you choose I’ll follow no matter what… But if we are in a lie, don’t you think it’s best if we leave it? And I know you weren’t there for the Nightmare Chirithy stuff—Skuld was by my side—but he said he’d see me in another dream, and I believe him… And that sounds like something to avoid. So far, I haven’t seen him. And if I get out now, we maybe never will.”

To Sanya’s surprise, Brain came over to her and put a hand on her shoulder now—as he maybe, just maybe, let her see under his hat a bit more as he smiled at her.

“Your friend has some good points, Leader. You should listen to her… I was really interested in Sugar Rush, but now I think we should drop it, too… What I know about ‘video games’ is very slim—since they only exist in the future, so I’m skimming the medals and things from the Book of Prophecies here—but I think Ralph’s world is somehow exactly that. And us now being connected to whatever runs a video game… Makes me worry that someone may be playing our own lives. Or trying to find a way to do so. I think we should sever our connection to that world to be safe… And, just to say it: none of that world was written in the Book of Prophecies.”

Ephemer was angry now, Sanya could see. He frowned, and clenched his fists at his sides. And Sanya got why…

For so long, they’d helped any world they could to gather Lux. Why should this one be any different, when it desperately needed them?

“I don’t think I can agree to that, guys. At least not yet… Let the other Union Leaders wake up and then we’ll vote on it, okay?”

…And so they did.

But only between three of the Foretellers. Ventus and Skuld were gone…

And no search through Daybreak Town, or any of the rest of the worlds, showed any sign of them: Not even Lauriam’s smart friend Elrena—who had also apparently been asked about Strelitzia—proved to be of any help.

And Sanya’s heart ached for Skuld. And so Chirithy gave Sanya many cuddles for that fact…

Until Sanya decided what she had to do.

Ventus and Skuld had gone missing the moment she’d talked about leaving—as if the outside world had listened in, and punished her for the thought—and to get back at them for doing that… and to find her friends, Sanya was now working with Brain and a just-shown-up-Gula to dismantle Daybreak Town and get outside.

Sanya didn’t care what the results of this would be: That Ephemer would disapprove, and break her heart in doing so… That information for two who didn’t exist—a Dyme, and a Drulo—would show up in Daybreak Town when they were trying to destroy it, or that Sugar Rush would somehow be replaced with a “Verum Rex”.

All Sanya cared about was getting outside.

And, despite everything, making Master Ava’s dream come true.

There, she wouldn’t be subjected to this world’s laws… and should be able to get back all of her memories of her friends, as well as her missing ones now.

Sanya reached out to the sky as glass flooded around her—and Gula came floating up beside her—and closed her eyes.

Author’s Note: So, I actually meant for this to be a cute shipping piece between Ephemer and Sanya--since I know you ship Ephemer and Player, Liz, especially your Player with him--but somehow it turned tragic, and my idea of what might happen next I guess. Oops.

[toujourspurr]

Updated Zoya thoughts

[ KoS spoilers ]

Zoya's father might have separated from the family, as he was never mentioned in her childhood, even when she was being sold to the carriage maker. Since the Suli are a nomadic group, it's possible that after the fall out of Sabina's relationship with him, he didn't find the appeal in living in one place anymore and went back to his people's way of travelling.

Zoya's (which is a name of Persian and Arabian descent, which is used in Russia but also both south Asia and the Middle East of course) surname is Nazyalensky, and it's unlikely that her father had that name. She might have gotten Sabina's surname because of the prejudice and ill-treatment of the Suli and having a Ravkan name (see how her first name would've been a good compromise then?) would help her assimilate, or because her father had already left the picture by then.

She was must've been undernourished as a child, given how they were poor enough to starve already and that she always gave half her food away to her mother.

She topped her classes, which would have been held by the local clergy. Some of her religious influence might have come from there because I can hardly imagine Sabina held on to religion given her conditions - she was described as without hope.

No wonder her attitude towards religion and superstition soured so much. She prayed to get out of the child marriage, and the Saints didn't save her, her common aunt and her Grisha powers did. She prayed Liliyana was okay in Novokribrisk, but the Saints didn't save her, monsters tore her apart.

Also little wonder she can be so elitist and turns her nose up at the otkazat'sya and commoners so much despite being amongst and having once been them: not only did they sell her to an old man and put up a show about it, not only do they distrust and hate her kind, they're also a reminder of how powerless and helpless she was, and so many girls like her, are. Her powers, her rank, the finery she is surrounded by, they're all for a sense of security and peace,,, my poor girl

And that's why despite largely seeming apathetic to the common folk, she still pushes hard for development and employment.

She reached the Little Palace at age nine, and we know that even Alina's eight was a very late age to get even tested. She must've been put up with the younger kids, but eventually would have made their way back up to her class.

Every week for years she got long letters from her aunt, whom she wrote to. Bet my ass she still has those hundreds of letters, with all the little chicken doodles on them.

At the age of ten she could intimidate a grown man... what a queen. "Are they dead?" "Not yet" alsjkskks

Thirteen and she was that good of a student that the Darkling let her tag along on an amplifier hunt in Tsibeya. There wasn't really a point in bringing her along, but he must have marked her as deserving of an amplifier later or just wanted to reward a good student so she felt he favoured her and craved for more of it?

This dumbass freed the cubs... in a camp full of powerful older Grisha who could happily vapourise her by group effort for hampering their chance at an amplifier... AND THE DARKLING. She didn't even think this through she wanted wanted to help the cubs because they wanted their mom 😭😭😭

As much as I love Zoya's ruthlessness and sharp edges I feel we don't focus enough on her soft side. I know it's refreshing to read about an a female character like this in YA, or any genre, but I have a special love for her tenderness as well. For animals, for women and girls, for her closest friends.

Also character development?

s&b Zoya was power hungry, and vied for the approval of the man who had the most of it, the Darkling, culminating in her blind devotion of him and using her power on Alina because she was suddenly more important and more favoured than her. She was left crying. In KoS, not only does she tell Nikolai her tiger teeth amplifier is enough, she is also described as needing nobody's approval. Oh, and she can look back at Alina fondly. You go girl!! 💓

Not exactly good but- s&b Zoya was... happier? More social and outgoing, at least. Of course, she was younger and though it was a time of war, she didn't have the unique responsibility she does now. She laughed more, I think, flirted more, was seen chatting up and being amicable to people. In KoS, she actually tells us that one of the benefits of ruling is that she doesn't have to be pleasant, all that matters is that she does her job well. She's more pragmatic than ever now, and hates talking sweet with the lords and officials they visit. She's left behind playing pleasant and social climbing (bc she's at the top anyway)

OKAY I'M IN TANGLES about this one: apparently she goes topless under her kefta???? Am I the only one who thinks this is super comfortable? They're mentioned being made of wool or silk, but hers, at the time, was most likely wool and silk sounds like it's meant for the more decoration ones, not the actual military uniform or even something she'd wear to the Fold. But really... nothing under? A sweater, undershirt, slip, wrap, whatever?

Nina and Alina have both said that nudity not thought of much in the armies and since Zoya does go to the banya, others have already seen her scars, they just didn't get even her false explanations.

She must have made up some REALLY wild explanations for them to her lovers and they wouldn't even question it.

Zoya is more in touch with the suffering of common people, or at least Grisha, than Nikolai. She knew they were not allowed to own property by the people when he, the king, didn't.

Okay this is a very long stretch but Zoya might have some artistic skill. Lada made her drawn loads of details of the Palaces and I know she's a kid and would've wanted some better visualisation of the buildings than just having it described to her, but for Zoya to draw so much for so long meant she had to be atleast a little good at it, right?

Zoya's is basically an immortal now and can be paralleled to the Darkling in a way... immensely powerful, will have a long life, wants a better world for the Grisha (and absent dads and uncool moms). She's going to remind herself of how he went wrong and got corrupted by power to keep herself in check, I feel.

Unusually, Zoya can summon with her arms bound, AND SHE CAN FLY NOW.

She's fried plenty of people to death before, and crushed their lungs, which Nikolai has also witnessed, and... I just forget that she's taken lives sometimes. What did the first time feel like? When was it? How old was she?

She prefers hand to hand combat to using weapons if she has to fight without her powers. A good number of people got their joints displaced by her while Botkin cheered in the background.

She was closer to Harshaw than it seemed when he was alive. Did she come to regret that later? She liked Oncat too. At least she gets to see him when she visits Keramzin :(

She's just 20/21... God.

[siderealxmelody]

Life Is War

@xdarklingx

Alina ducked her head as his eyes found hers, her skin was tingling from the night before. He'd come to her rooms just as he has said would.

He'd been gentle that first time, but not the others. She could feel her heart beating faster as she remembered the marks. As she remembered everywhere he'd touched her.

"You are my hope Alina, you are who I've been waiting for."

She jolted slightly when she saw Fedyor. He gazed down at her in irritation. Had he been calling her name? She resisted the urge to see if the other Etheraki were staring.

"He wants you."

Alina stood, trying to keep herself from sprinting.

"Beware of powerful men."

Maybe it had been a joke? Maybe he said those words to everyone? He looked up from the report in his hand.

"Oh good, you're here."

She nodded, her nail digging into her skin. She felt her hand being cupped and suddenly she was drowning in those eyes again.

"Do you regret what we did last night Alina?"

"I - "

Did she?

"No, no I don't."

He rewarded her with a smile and kissed her cheek.

"Good, neither do I. I want you to come with me to Lupu. It's a small village in West Ravka. Apparently there was a plague..that killed everyone expect for a girl and some children. I want to see if it was Grisha doing. If so, could be a powerful heartender."

She nodded, her mind still dazed from him saying he didn't regret it either. Did that mean they were courting? Did that mean -

She jumped when she felt a tap on her arm. He was giving her an amused smile.

"Are you with me Alina? I need to know you won't be - this is still new I don't want people to talk just yet."

She flushed and nodded. She took a breath and tried to steady herself.

"I can do that. When do we leave?"

The week's trip to West Ravka wasn't half bad. He didn't speak much on himself but was happy to listen as she spoke. They shared a coach and he'd even occasionally hold her hand or kiss her knuckles when they were together.

He had a nice smile, it was soft and gentle one. It made her feel safe and happy.

----------

Luda was just glad the Grisha children had left when she ordered them too. So far the neighboring town of Aldra had sheltered them. But they were growing restless and suspicious of them. The Darkling’s timing couldn't have been more perfect if she was being honest.

He was hearing the children into other carriages and horses when she spotted her. They must have both realized at the same time. Because one moment Alina was walking at the Darkling's side, and the next she was sobbing in her arms.

Luda pulled away and kept her at arms length to better look at her. She'd have been 17 now, had the last time she'd seen her when Alina was 6? She'd been crying and begging to be taken with and Luda had wanted to. But Ana Kuya was having none of it. The family had asked for Luda and it was Luda alone she'd get.

"Stop this incessant whining Alina, your sister is getting a good life. Be happy for her and if you behave you'll find a home like her."

They'd both been tested and while Luda had remembered feeling something she had made a conscious decision to hide it. Alina had needed her, she couldn't just leave her alone.

Now it appears they'd found each other again.

"Your palm, what have you done to it? Do you want me to heal you?"

"Do you two know each other?"

The male's voice had interrupted whatever Alina was going to say. Luda looked up to the face of the Darkling, he was staring waiting for her to respond.

Something in her shuttered, she trusted him. He'd chose her sister to come along. She seemed happier and healthier than Luda had ever seen her.

But she only rose tugging Alina along with her.

"The children, there is one, Donovan. He likes having something to hold to sleep. Did you make sure their toys were with them?"

Alina flushed at her side, was she embarrassed? Luda felt a bit of her gaurd soften. Alina wanted to make a good impression on him clearly.

"I'm Luda Starkova, Alina is my little sister. It wasn't a plague I just...that village, Vladimir Brum deserved to pay for what he was doing to our kind. I wouldn't let him take another girl like he took me."

She turned to her with the sudden realization to Alina.

"What can you do? Can you show me?"

[ivory-in-rapture]

Shadow and Bone: season 1 review recap (8/10)

I did it! I watched it!

Okay, so unexpectedly this was a good adaptation. I'm gonna dive right into what I liked, and what I didn't!

spoilers ahead

So first of all, how true is it to the book?

It's pretty good. I think they stayed very true to the first shadow and bone book. There were changes and not all of them landed but for the most part, even what they changed to expand on the universe served the story well. I was worried that they would ruin the beats of the original and add tv show clichés but thankfully even what was changed eventually brought the plot back to where it was supposed to be.

They added extra Mal scenes and I think they tried very hard to build Malina up in a visual way in order to endear the fans to it. I was already endeared but I loved those scenes anyway and I just got most emotional during those parts.

Now, regarding the crows and the SOC plots: I didn't love what they did with them for the most part. I think it kind of might negatively affect whatever plot of the actual six of crows duology will be made later because the timeline is all wonky now and there's all this connection that wasn't there and it did feel a bit forced but overall, it all worked out so I'm not too upset.

I loved what they did with Nina and Matthias though. Like that entire plot was SO GOOD! I just loved their journey.

The Production:

The production was good. They did some interesting things with lighting that I really liked. The costumes, I wish were more innovative. Everything was too conventional and I wish they had taken more slavic inspiration. It was there, but I wanted more? The sets too. It could be a bit more but they stayed very safe with everything. The hairstyles, I hated. For the most part, the characters had their hair open and lose and it was so chaotic. It hurt my eyes.

Something I have beef with is the emotional deliverance of the most iconic moments of the book. What I mean is like: when Baghra tells Alina what was going on, or the "Fine, make me your villain" scene or when Alina finally unlocked her power for the first time outside Baghra's hovel(?), cave (?) or the childhood testing. Anyway, these were a bit underwhelming for me? Like I know these books are very close to my heart and I have Expectations but yeah, what I imagined in my mind was more epic, somehow. Oddly enough the emotional scenes that were added were better executed.

The actors and their acting

Jessie Mei Li was amazing as Alina. She was just great. She did an amazing job, she really embodied the character, really brought Alina to life for me. I have nothing to complain. I will punch anyone who complains about "oh why did she have this or that expression" or "why was Alina so naggy?!" She is PERFECT! Seriously, the way she cried on demand and she had that eye acting were you could see her sadness, her loneliness, her doubts... everything in her eyes and...I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. Archie Renaux also murdered it. IN THE HATERS' FACES! That boy had so much emotional groundedness in the story, like he took one shakey breath and I felt that! People better love and appreciate the hardwork these actors put in. Also these two's chemistry was great. They had less one on one time together than Darkling and Alina, I think but I think their chemistry was better than the other pairing. I'll explain more later...

Kaz was so on point. The actor just had Kaz all right. Inej was not how I imagined Inej but I think it was a good acting choice to visualize her like this because Inej was kind of stoic in the books and it wouldn't translate well on screen. Their chemistry was good too. Like every time Kaz looked at Inej, I felt it. So intense and full of yearning but also like angry silence. So good.

So I know the Jesper casting was a bit upsetting with all the "making him lighter skin" and I am upset about that too but the actor really did a great job. He was Jesper. He just embodied him so well.

Nina and Matthias were great too. They were the surprise stars for me because I had the least amount of faith in them and I stand corrected. Their chemistry (omg! there was only one bed!), their bickering, everything was great. They made Nina a bit more sexual and flirty which...I hope they'll focus more on her gremlin humor later because she was flirty,yes, but she also is a baby and I love her and I want all her aspects shown.

Choices were made for the background characters. David was hilarious, Baghra was ok, Apparat was not working for me, Zoya was good but I wish they had gone a bit sharper. she seemed a bit too serene for Zoya.

Genya. I did not like Genya. It was just all wrong for me. She was so off? Like Genya has that fake-nice-bubbly-happy-go-lucky-bimbo thing going on which is actually fascade for her traumatized and deeply hurt feelings beneath and...she was just snobby here? Idk, I just didn't feel her at all. Like her betrayal fell flat because she wasn't all that connected with Alina before anyway, so it didn't feel like she owed Alina any loyalty? It was off. I don't know whose choice it was to portray her like that but I did not like it. AT ALL.

Now...the Darkling....yeah...I um...didn't...like...it? Okay, see I know Ben Barnes is a fan favorite, like he's one of those actors who makes it in all fancast lists no matter what fandom but he was never my idea of the Darkling and it's not that he acted badly at all. He did a great job but it was just not my Darkling? Darkling is my favorite villain because he's so complex in his behavior and so ambigious and deliciously conflicting. The show didn't capture any of that for me. His charisma was all off. And like Ben Barnes can do charisma, we've seen it before but here he was just not...that. He wasn't imposing enough, or cold enough, or sublime enough. Because that's what the Darkling is. He's captivating and beautiful and grand but also scary and that mattered because his airs made the fact that he was nice to Alina, seem like it was a big deal. The show's version of The Darkling was not big enough for his attention to matter. I know part of my problem is the beard (why a beard? I hate beards!) but part of it must be the directing choices made. If they had demanded more, I bet Ben Barnes could bring more but they clearly didn't ask more. Also the chemistry between Alina and Darkling...was exactly how it should be which is not great, because:

power imbalance and also a weirdly huge age difference!

But if I was a shipper, I would be underwhelmed. Just sayin'. (Malina was SO GOOD THOUGH? Like the actors were so in sync. SO GOOD! asdfghjk)

Some random and general opinions:

The music was generic. I was hoping for something like the Winter song that Leigh Bardugo herself made for Ruin and Rising. This was not that good. It was just there in the background.

THEY SPOILED THE DARKLING'S NAME. LIKE WTF?!

There was this confused racial commentary in the show. Like everyone kept mentioning how she's part Shu and it was weird. It wasn't woke or groundbreaking. I don't even remember the book mentioning much about the Shu.

I think there were details that they got wrong. It didn't matter aesthetically but the implications...think about the implications.

I didn't like the Darkling flashback they made. I would have liked it more if they made it more ambigious. and darker.

There wasn't enough mention of the persecution of the Grisha. They tried to cheat that in the aforementioned flashback but like I said, it was a very tropey flashback so it didn't deliver emotionally.

I think they got the whole Sankta Alina stuff wrong. The book makes the religious zealot rabbit hole much more nuanced and wanky which is what it deserved. Everyone in the show just immediately went for Sankta Alina worship which felt unearned.

Having Alina and Inej meet so early on, is a crime I will never forgive. That was just so wrong. The whole point of her faith is that she never got to meet Alina.

Did I mention how well they captured Malina and how perfect they were together?

The childhood flashbacks were great. But I wanted them to separate Malina while they cried and screamed because the fact that she forced her powers to go silent just so she could stay with him, would have been that much more powerful.

I also wanted there to be specific mention of how Alina just cared for Mal so much that she repressed a part of her for years to be there but sadly it wasn't. Not that she injured herself. But that she also repressed it.

The Darkling could have been darker?

The integration of the dregs into the shadow and bone plot was as awkward as one could expect! Lol! Like the moment they met her, I figured out how that was going to go. It was okay but could be better.

But Kaz, Inej and Jesper's interactions were so cute that I forgive part of the sloppy plotting there.

I did not like where Zoya ended up at the end of the season. I think that and the fact that they scramled how Ravka realizes Darkling was evil all along, will add problems to the next season plotting.

Overall: 8/10

It was good. It could be better but it was already much better than I thought it would be and I am so grateful. Can't wait for season two.

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch- Part 11

The Darkling x Reader

I’m backkkkkkkkk besties 🥰🥰

The rest of the day was spent doused in the work the Darkling had given you earlier, so the time you would have spent otherwise mulling over his plans for the stag had to be pushed out of the way.

You had plenty of time left until the evening's dinner, where you would be formally announced as Deputy General to the Grisha of the Little Palace. You had already signed off on official letters to the camp commanders and First-Army leaders stating your position, but you doubted there would be any fuss from them.

Your own Grisha is who you had to be worried about. They didn't do well with change. Especially not when it came to a mysterious all-powerful Grisha coming and taking control of an army they'd never seen them be a part of before.

Nonetheless, this was happening whether they wanted it or not. Ravka needed to present a united front and adding another person to strengthen said front was essential. All you hoped for was a peaceful transition, no blood-baths. To hell if they whispered or rumored, you could handle that, you've been handling it.

You had a list of ever-changing priorities in your head, and on top of it was always Alina. You cared for your Grisha, no matter how much they hated you or how much you disliked them, and Alina wasn't any exception. You felt a pang of guilt flow through you at the thought of Aleksander using her against her better conscience but you shoved it away quickly. There was nothing you could do but talk to him and question him about the plan.

The plan. The stupid plan. You called it stupid because you didn't know anything about it and against your better judgment, it made you doubt his trust. Was it so bad, so cruel, that he couldn't tell me? Before you came to the Little Palace, you told yourself you wouldn't blindly trust anybody anymore. Aleksander had to be held to that standard too.

Your door was left slightly ajar, you were sick of the knocking at this point so when you heard a feminine voice call out your name you looked up instantly, ready to be hit with more reports.

'Ms.Y/L/N? I have been sent by the General to see if you wish to use any of my help' The red-haired Grisha looked at you with her bright blue eyes. Her white kefta pressed to perfection.

'You must be Genya' You stood up and welcomed her in.

'Sorry about the room, as you can see I don't have a proper desk yet' you laughed and watched her closely as she studied you. 'What do you do exactly? It's been years since I heard of a tailor and I've never had the pleasure to meet one.'

You noticed a look of surprise at your black kefta. If she had any questions, she most certainly didn't feel comfortable asking, he probably told her not to ask.

'I do all sorts of things, change the color of your hair, get rid of pesky scars, anything you don't like about yourself really..... well except your character, there's nothing anyone can do about that' She waved off and sat you down at your vanity, carefully pushing papers to one side.

'So? How about it?' She looked at you through the mirror and you pondered.

'Maybe the eye bags need to go?'

She nodded deeply, 'Definitely' you couldn't help but feel a little offended, but mostly amused.

'What do you propose then, Genya?'

'Hmmm, the eyebags for sure, put some color on your cheeks,-' She combed her hands through your hair and bit the inside of her cheek '-the hair needs something too, perhaps some shine?'

'Perhaps' You mused.

'I shall get to work then' she smiled.

****

After your pampering session with Genya and prying her open (more like soothing her) to talking about life at the Palaces and her life, you came to the conclusion that you would die for her. She was so kind and strong, no wonder she and Alina were always seen together, they were two peas in a pod. Her humor and wittiness, like yours, was refreshing, a breath of fresh air in the stiff and formal palace.

You didn't bother changing. The truth was you were tired already and a full day hadn't even passed of your new job. How did I do this for so many years? But still, you managed to put on your bravest smile and walk in the domed hall with your head held high and your black kefta on a show like a trophy.

Unlike the other time you and Aleksander dined together here, he was already sitting in his chair. Ivan was standing, ready to announce any war news and casualties. You could see Alina looking at you with a confused look on her face, but she still gave you a welcoming smile.

You sat down and cleared your throat in the deafening silence. Ivan began to speak but you heard none of it. Your head too full with thoughts on how this situation could go. You felt Aleksander move his hand to your thigh in a calming manner. You looked over to him and shot him a tight smile, before looking back to Ivan who was sitting down. Here goes nothing.

You stood up with Aleksander. The Grisha in the room couldn't understand what was going on, who was that person, wearing black nonetheless, sitting at the right side of the Darkling, on her own custom chair. The list of anomalies was never-ending.

He spoke first 'Today is a monumental day for the Second-Army, for all Grisha, for Ravka. Y/N Y/L/N has returned to the Little Palace and will be reprising her role of Deputy General, Second in Command of the Second Army.'

Nobody spoke but if looks could kill, I would be halfway into my grave by now.

'Ms. Y/L/N will play an essential part in our fight for freedom and justice. She is an outstanding leader, sometimes even better than I am, for she leads with compassion and understanding for all. She deserves nothing but the utmost respect and loyalty. If you for one second doubt her abilities, you might as well put cuffs around your own wrists, for disrespecting her is disrespect for me. I put my full faith in her.'

He turns to you and sits down, giving you all the attention.

'None of you will remember my reign as Deputy General, but I assure you I know what I am doing. The Little Palace and your lives are of most importance to me. I am here to protect and care for you, yes I will be giving commands, but rest be assured they are in your best interest.'

'I don't represent one order of Grisha, I represent and unite all of you-' You look towards the Etherialki '-I can summon the strongest of gales and light the Palace's fires-'

You turn your head toward the Materialki '-I can bend any metal, bleed fabric of its color-'

Your eyes meet Fedyor's '-I can soothe a heart and crush every bone in a body-'

You stand straighter '- and I can summon the shadows, call the darkness. With me at your side, I will make the Grisha kind loved once again, we will not be hunted or enslaved. Ravka's borders will be peaceful. I am putting my trust into each and every single one of you to help me achieve our utopia'

You sit back down and only then do you notice your shaking hands. You don't dare look up out of fear but a calming hand on your back almost forces you to. And you're glad because almost every Grisha in the room is looking, no, worshipping you. Their eyes glazed over and their mouths open in shock. Even Zoya looked astounded.

He leans in to whisper in your ear 'I'm so proud of you'

*****

You ate amongst the other Grisha that night, feeling a sense of belonging and confidence pulsing through you. It went down way better than you'd expected. Nobody threw a fit or tried your life. And you were happy. The sleep you had that night was the best you'd had in years.

The next morning, and the morning after that, was taken up entirely by work. Aleksander went away and so you were left with the runt of the jobs. But you had made yourself extremely comfortable in his quarters. At first, you only came to make use of the war room, then you sat at his desk to drink your tea and concentrate on work, and ultimately fell asleep in his bed, enclosed by his scent and those forgiving black sheets.

There was so much work to do and only so many hours in the day, and Aleksander decided to make life that much harder by renewing the search for Morozova's stag. You couldn't keep up.

You were waiting on a certain somebody. You had instructed the oprichniki to bring her here right after she was done with Baghra, no later. And so you stood there, inspecting the war table when a gentle knock echoed throughout the room.

'Come in'

'Deputy General' She addressed you with a curt nod.

'Please Alina, call me Y/N' you looked at her from your place at the table, hands resting on the map. She looked slightly uncomfortable but way less scrawny than when you'd first seen her. Her hair was filler and her skin glowed. She looked healthy now. Aleksander must see this too.

'I can see using your powers has affected you in more ways than one.'

'Oh-yes umm.. my appetite's grown so much since I got here it's rather funny' She was growing more comfortable.

'That's completely normal if you're using your powers more often' You smiled and walked around to her. 'I thought we could have a cup of tea or two, and you could tell me all about yourself Alina, and the things that are troubling you. I don't want you to feel like you're all alone in this place.'

'Dep- Y/N I assure you I am most certainly fine. There’s no need t-’

'I was once like you… and I can sense a troubled soul with my eyes closed.'

She stared at you with her defensive walls up, not letting any emotion slip though the cracks behind her eyes.

‘Alina… I mean you no harm. I’m just worried. Isn’t it nice to have someone worry for Alina and not the sun-summoner for a change?’ You cracked a sad smile and walked over to the tea the servants had brought.

‘Sugar?’

Part 12

Taglist (tell me if u want to be added!!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess

[leah-jeffries]

I know that The Broke and The Bookish are taking a break from their Top Ten Tuesday prompts, so I'll go ahead and wing it until they return! Top Ten Tuesday is a feature originated by TBATB that features a list of whatever fits the prompt for that week. Since it's start, so many bloggers have taken part and shared their own lists. So if you have your own Top Ten feature, we would love to read it. For this week, we'll be doing Top Ten OTPs. 

In no particular order:

Elias Veturius/Laia of Serra from Sabaa Tahir's Ember Quartet Even as I write out their names, my heart is in so much pain because I love them too much. I have not shipped this hard since SHADOW AND BONE and that is saying something. There is just something about Elias and Laia's relationship that just hits all the good parts of my emotional psyche. Or maybe it's because the writing for these books are so flippin' superb that the romance is automatically amazing. Obviously, their relationship is not at the forefront of these books, but there is enough to tease me to curling up into a ball after I've finished a new book. I love that they come from different places, but have so much in common. And I appreciate that they have endured so much on their own and do not rely on each other, but they do strengthen one another. Now that their paths have become so different at the end of A TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT, I know that I will be destroyed by any moments that they sure in subsequent books. 

Malyen Oretsev/Alina Starkov from Leigh Bardugo's Shadow and Bone Talk about original OTPs...I know that this will be controversial for some people because of course, the other side of things is Alina and the Darkling and who doesn't love being seduced by the Darkling? -swoons- I will admit that I enjoy Alina/The Darkling as much as everyone else but at the end of the day, I think my heart lies with Mal and Alina because they get a bittersweet ending and it just made my heart ache at how melancholy things became for both of them and yet, they always had one another. I know that Mal has had his flaws and probably doesn't deserve Alina, but good gosh, their chemistry was lovely for me. I know that some other people didn't see it - they saw more steam from Alina and the Darkling, but there was an innocence and a tenderness to Mal and Alina's friendship and relationship that made me fall in love with them as a couple. Man, when RUIN AND RISING came out and I read it, I was just so freaking happy. I am glad that they got a semblance of a happy ending.

Cress Darnell/Carswell Throne from Marissa Meyer's The Lunar Chronicles CRESSWELL gives me life. I seriously love the dynamic of Cress/Thorne because they make each other better without all the drama. Plus they're so cute together with all of Thorne's quippy lines and Cress just doing what she does best, which is be a badass computer wizard.

Kate Harker/August Flynn from Victoria Schwab's Monsters of Verity Kate and August were a surprise for me. Their relationship was very much in the backdrop of the Monsters of Verity plot and for very good cause. There was just so much that needed to be told about their worlds and I really appreciated the little moments of intimacy and tenderness they shared with one another. I'm sure there are people who have said they have no chemistry or are nothing more than friends, but when two characters are pitted in a conflict that these two are, it's so very hard for me not to ship them. I think they were both poetically and tragically written and to show their vulnerabilities to one another just leaves me wanting. How can I not ship a couple that is like that? Kestrel Trajan/Arin from Marie Rutkoski's The Winner's Trilogy Do you know that when someone is playing a stringed instrument in some classical piece and then there's that epic crescendo and then the single bouncing pluck of the bow against the string that echos? I feel like that perfectly describes Kestrel and Arin for me. I think they have such a theatrical and dramatic way about them, but yet their romance is so subtle and lovely as it developed throughout the trilogy. Both of them came from very similar beginnings but Arin did not remain in the same place that Kestrel was born into and despite a war breaking between them, they were still able to come together by the end. And oh my gosh, how can you not love a couple that giggles about playing piano and singing together? It's just such a wonderful thought. 

Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa from Leigh Bardugo's Six of Crows Duology I remember a brief time when Kaz and Inej suffocated me with the turmoil of their angsty relationship, especially after what happened in Six of Crows. I just wanted them to be together, these tough little children, and squish them against my chest. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR? I just wanted them to have their happy endings with a butt ton of kruge and the Barrel at their beckoning AS KING AND QUEEN. Plus, like all couples, they had some amazing dialogue exchanges that ripped me to pieces. 

Feyre Acheron/Rhysand from Sarah J. Maas's A Court of Thorns and Roses Series They were my first ever steam couple and damn, they got me going. -fans self- I feel like Maas is really known for being able to write intimate scenes with her characters (see THRONE OF GLASS) and when Rhysand and Feyre had their first meeting, I remember all the steam and sparks that rose from their interaction. And it just built from there. And I think it can be safely said how much people loved A COURT OF MIST AND FURY, considering how central their relationship was in the story. They were just so memorable to me and it didn't hurt that he oozed the sex appeal. -heart eyes-

Lara Jean Song/Peter Kavinsky from Jenny Han's To All The Boys I've Loved Before Trilogy Talk about the epitome of a contemporary romance. I remember how much I fell in love with TATBILB and how there was Asian representation in the MC and obviously, Peter Kavinsky. I don't know what it was about him besides the fact that he was a big ol' geeky teddy bear underneath his air of popularity. I feel like he just represented that typical popular boy that all the girls, ALLLL THE GIRLS, had a crush on when they were in high school. I love how he was with Kitty and their father. And I love how they both helped each other grow into the better parts of themselves. 

Linh Cinder and Emperor Kaito from Marissa Meyer's The Lunar Chronicles Well, I feel like a Cinderella retelling is self explanatory if we're talking about Cinder and Kai. Marissa Meyer could have made their relationship full of stinky cheese and cliche, but she definitely did justice to her original characters. I loved watching Cinder kick butt with her brain and Kai with his diplomacy when dealing with the enemy. Their relationship was not something that I would call topsy-turvy or dramatic, but it did just have an ease about it that made me rather happy. Plus, how could you say no to Cinderella and her prince? Geez. 

Lara Jean Song/Peter Kavinsky from Jenny Han's To All The Boys I've Loved Before Trilogy Talk about the epitome of a contemporary romance. I remember how much I fell in love with TATBILB and how there was Asian representation in the MC and obviously, Peter Kavinsky. I don't know what it was about him besides the fact that he was a big ol' geeky teddy bear underneath his air of popularity. I feel like he just represented that typical popular boy that all the girls, ALLLL THE GIRLS, had a crush on when they were in high school. I love how he was with Kitty and their father. And I love how they both helped each other grow into the better parts of themselves. 

Lila Bard/Kell Maresh from V.E. Schwab's Shades of Magic OH THIS IS THE EPITOME OF SLOW BURNS. I find it incredibly astonishing and awing when an author can completely immerse her readers in the story enough that when romance happens that it is just a sweet treat of a surprise. I found that in Schwab's writing pattern and I seriously applaud her for it - if I were to ever aspire to write like someone, it would be her. I loved the development that she put into both Lila and Kell and how they seem to be the complete opposite of one another. They exist as such strong characters and together, they're just as good, but at the same time, I could feel that they were one another's weaknesses as well but not in the way that's traditional. If an enemy were to use one of them against the other, I think it would just drive them harder, but around each other specifically...it's like that quote from Richelle Mead - "Ah, those two. In a fight, they're lethal. Around each other, they melt.' I don't think any words were ever truer than these when talking about Kell and Lila.

[ruleandruinrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, TRIS!

You have been accepted for the role of ALEKSANDER MOROZOVA. Admin Bree: We knew when we decided to include the Darkling as a playable character that he would be a competitive role, and as the character with the most applications for our initial acceptance, he certainly didn’t disappoint, and neither did his applicants. But Tris, you stood out. Your application was incredibly thorough and true to character, both by the standards set by his biography and the very core of who he is in the trilogy, and it’s crystal clear that you understand his motivations and desires, which is all that we could ever ask for in his player—your application was all we were looking for and more. Congratulations! You have 24 HOURS to send in your account. Also, remember to look at the CHECKLIST. Welcome to Ravka!

OUT OF CHARACTER

ALIAS: 

Tris

PREFERRED PRONOUNS: 

he/him/his

AGE: 

21

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL:  ⌜ EST & 8 ⌟

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s been a long time since I could properly consider myself an active writer. I want to stress that there is no blame to be placed on my daily duties and the schedule of my life; unsteady as it can be, I have learned with age that my shortcomings are all of the self-induced kind. I don’t want to apply for this RP without being honest with everyone involved in the process. I’ve been in a group ran by the admins before, and I know that you’re all aware of how often I have faltered. Admittedly, it’s always been easy for me to lie to myself.

I see a popular RP, and I take notice of how everyone’s buzzing with anticipation and applying for the characters that have won their hearts, and I think to myself; ‘I can do that, right? Surely I can find a character that’s perfect for me and fall head-over-heels for them. I love the plot, and I’m already feeling so excited, so does that mean that this can be the RP that brings me out of my inactivity?’ 

I don’t want to lie to myself this time, so I’m not going to wax poetic and say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’m going to right all of my wrongs. I’m tired of telling myself that a special circumstance is going to come along and fix my issues without even needing to lift a finger. Fixing my flaws has to start with me. It has taken time, but I understand that now.

I don’t want to come into this with false hopes. I’ve done it before, and I’ve slipped many times, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t cautious. I respect RaR too much to pretend like I’m a wholly dedicated RPer who’s going to attack the dash with post after post in the chance that he’s accepted. Of course, I can easily tell myself that there’s a sincere possibility of that happening — and for all I know, it actually could. 

RaR could become the RP that finally breaks my curse. I could find myself being more active than ever before — but I don’t want to get my hopes up. And more importantly, those of others. I have so many friends in the RPC that love and encourage me despite all of my faults — but it’s hard being known as the guy who always gets accepted, then never goes anywhere with the role that he supposedly cared so much about.

RaR is not the first RP to make me feel hope. I’m not going to sit around and pretend like I’ve never felt this same rush of excitement that I feel each time I browse through the main; that I haven’t had this exact same chat with myself before. The one difference between then and now? I’m not sugarcoating anything. 

I’m not going to tell you guys that this time I’m certain I can be a perfect member. I hope against hope that I can be, but all I can do within my power is wait to see what will happen. I’ve been on a break since early April, and while it’s done wonders for my stability and my muse, I’m not going to place bets. I don’t want to let anyone down.

I come to you guys with all the rawness of myself and the truth of my imperfections openly presented. I don’t want to be judged for pretty lies that I tell myself I can back up in the back of my mind. I could list a thousand reasons why I think RaR could become the RP that will help me to get my writing career back on track, but I’d rather show you if given the chance. 

I’ve realized that actions are so much louder than words, and all that I wish to make clear is one genuine thing: for the first time, I’m taking accountability for my consistency. It’s no fault but my own when I fail to post and maintain my initial enjoyment. I desperately want RaR to be the RP that changes everything, that helps prove that I can be a better writer and person, but it has to start with me. I have to learn how to push through my boundaries and try even when I feel like throwing in the towel. Because it’s easy to give up, isn’t it?

I can’t promise you guys that I’ll be active without a single hitch. I can’t say I’m going to last until the end. I have hope, and I want so painfully to believe that things would go as perfectly as I want to believe, but I want only honesty between us. It’s what is deserved between admins and a potential member of their community. The one thing I can be honest about? The only thing that does feel certain to me? Is that I will try. 

For all the risk of repeating my infamous history, I know that at least I’m going to give my absolute all this time. I’m doing this for my love of the Darkling and the RP; not simply because I want to fix myself. If that happens while I’m on the journey with him? Great. The priority will always be Aleksander, however. That’s how it should be. And if I’m given this opportunity, I will do everything that I can not to take it for granted.

CURRENT/PAST ACCOUNTS:  ⌜ here & here ⌟

These are my last two accounts from before my break.

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER: ⌜ Aleksander Morozova | The Darkling ⌟

Aleksander — Greek;  its meaning is ‘defender; protector of mankind.’ ❨ The name of a peasant, or of a king; he has been both throughout the ages. ❩

Morozova — Russian;  a surname derived from the word ‘moroz,’ which means ‘frost.’  ❨ Heavier than his given name and more sacred than his alias, it is both his treasure and his burden. Grandson of a Sankt, maker of amplifiers and sire of darkness, who could deny that Aleksander was bred for infamy? ❩

The Darkling — his title;  the mononym that has taken place of his true name.  ❨ It came like any shadow. A slow creep that steadily consumed his identity. It’s as much home as anything could ever be; the only constant aside from the Unsea that survives alongside him each century. ❩

WHAT DREW YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?

Connecting myself to the Darkling was a strange process. Not in the sense that it was difficult for me to get a grasp on his character, but because I was taken aback by how quickly I fell for him. After reading his biography, there was just this sudden and overwhelming urge to want to portray him that took hold of me — something that I’d only ever felt for female characters beforehand, and it was surprising to see how attached I was steadily becoming to the concept of being the writer behind him. Away from his title and his ability, I believe the most enticing thing that Aleksander offers is his depth — so much that I’m left with an itch to explore him; the man he was and the man he is and the man that he’ll inevitably become.

There are certain roles that come along and challenge who we are as writers, helping us to grow and find levels of our skills that we wouldn’t be able to reach on our own, and I feel like the Darkling could be that role for me. He offers me something that I’ve never known before; a savagery and a hunger that I’ve scratched the surface of, but never the particular type that he calls his own. I’ve explored the hidden intentions of many shadowy figures and found the secrets lodged between their teeth — and I was never once afraid of being swallowed. No matter how terrified I should be of falling into the Darkling’s abyss, I only find myself being exhilarated. 

I understand him, but I don’t know him. I know what he wants, but he’s never explained why he has those desires to me. He’s touched me and whispered his secrets to me, but all I have when he leaves me are bruises and memories that are blurred. He’s not a character that I can take control of and assert my dominance over; he’s a role that has to be allowed to reign on his own outside of my influence. 

If I’m honest, I don’t believe that anyone could ever truly make the Darkling their own. He shouldn’t be warped by my mindset, or by anyone else’s. I’ve never had someone help me to realize that before; that who we are shouldn’t leave stains on the roles that we’re portraying. That some are meant to remain wholly untouched and to exist as their own entity.

All I want to be for the Darkling is a voice and the guiding hand that gets to uncover him, and I’ll never want to take away from the reality of who he is. I want to learn his secrets and to be told the truth of his plans, but I will not intervene even if I disagree with them. I want to step aside and allow him to follow the path that he has chosen for himself. 

It’s so wonderful and so odd; to be so taken by a character and to want nothing more than to just hold them for a single fleeting moment. The Darkling will never be mine to keep or to claim. He belongs to so many writers and to so many readers, and that’s what fascinates me. That’s what seems so painfully beautiful for me to experience.

A man of many lives, of eternities and endless wars. I just want to be his for one lifetime; just one of his many suitors. And then he’ll be another’s to claim, and I’ll be content with that. The Darkling is someone meant to test your abilities and to help you discover yourself, and he belongs to all of us. That’s what has me so excited. I can’t own him, and no one will ever look at this character and think that he’s mine; who he is will never be mine to create, and what he wants is concrete and beyond my reasoning. 

I want to write him because for the first time a role has offered the chance to find both them and myself at the same time, and it’s amazing. It’s brilliant. I want to share a moment of his infinity. I want to see the darkness and know all of its terrors. And then the light will come; and at the end of my time with him I know that I’ll be more than I was when I started.

WHAT FUTURE PLOT IDEAS DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

⦁ first — ⌜ development with Gemma ⌟

Something that’s really important to me is the relationship between Gemma and the Darkling. Not in the sense that I believe they’re the most crucial characters of the RP, but because I can tell how important that they’ll be to each other’s development throughout the course of this RP. It’s amazing how many contradictions can be pointed out between the two.

She’s light and he’s dark; he’s an eternity and she’s like a newly born colt just rising up on its legs. How is it that they come together so perfectly, when most assume that they couldn’t be anything more alike? They’re total opposites — or at least, that’s the twist; that they’re actually more similar than either truly knows. Gemma is not Alina and RaR’s Darkling is a different man than the original, so what does that mean for these two?

I have a lot of feelings about the books and their end that I’d love to discuss with Bree in the chance of being accepted, and I’m so thrilled and excited by how unknown everything is. There’s so many possibilities that RaR offers; so much danger to run from and so many moments of a shrivelled heart being placed on Gemma’s lap. I want to know the story of our Sun Summoner and Darkling. I want to revel in its beginnings and I want to stand in awe as it ends. 

It’s almost magical; playing a canon character but knowing nothing that is in store for them. Even better, neither does the character — no matter how certain of things he claims to be. Gemma severed the normality of his life. It all changed when she became the most treasured piece of his hoard. And will he choke on the gold of her, or will he wear her on his shoulders until their lives have ended? A death that is so soon; so far away. Time’s an irrelevant concept to him by now.

⦁ second — ⌜ hunting the amplifiers ⌟

I’d love the chance to touch on him tracking down Morozova’s amplifiers for his cause of strengthening Gemma’s abilities. It was an exciting plotline throughout the books, and while some might view it as central to only the Darkling and Gemma, I could see it being a fun thing for several characters. A team is needed to track and hunt down the mythical creatures, so it’d be an expedition into the wilds in search of beasts that many believe are just fantasy. 

He trusts Gemma and he can see that she has raw potential, but regardless of the fact that the amplifiers are a necessity for her being able to combat the volcra within the Fold, he harbors a secret fear of losing her. He’s never held a disciple as closely as her; never felt the need to brand his name in someone’s skin and hiss at anything that stands too close to them. She is not his to own and she is not his to keep, but he cannot let her go. He does not want to.

Where would she go if she became too powerful of her own accord? Who would he be if he lost the one thing that had evaded him for so long? She’s here now, and he can forgive the absence that had plagued him. She has enough time to make up for it, and he wants to be there. When he looks at her he does not call it love, and he’s long lost the purest sense of the word lust, but she does something for him that no stimulant can do. A man who can use no amplifier beyond himself, but perhaps he’s broken the rules by taking a second. 

They feed off each other like fire and gasoline, and he wants nothing more than to make them more familiar. Their abilities are one thing, but he wants to see himself when he looks at her. He wants to see shadows in her eyes and indifference stretching across her jaw, and he will allow no one else to sit beside him when he ushers in an era of Grisha dominance. If slaughtering three glorified beasts is his only means of seeing that become a reality, then so be it.

⦁ third — ⌜ conquering the Fold ⌟

Last but not least, I have to see the Darkling conquer the Fold. I need to see him make it there and finally right his wrong; not necessarily by correcting his mistake and taking it away, but by finishing the task that has haunted him for so many years. He wants to end the suffering of his people, and he wants to carry them on his shoulders with Gemma pressed safely against his side. 

He can do that now. She can give Grisha light, and he can give their enemies darkness. Together they are damnation and salvation; the sword and the shield. A low growl catches in his throat at the thought of how perfect they are. How all the pieces of their puzzles come together to make one whole picture. Bloody and raw and frayed, but a masterpiece all the same.

Someday he will tell her what her purpose truly is. That it is not on her to save the otkazat’sya; that they are lesser and not meant to be dwelt on. No one is meant to be saved from the Fold. Grisha will be granted safe passage, and the humans will be given to the volcra as offerings. They are not his to claim and they are not hers to control, but whereas they refuse to submit to his will, she is able to ward them off in a way no one else can. She sends them flying away from him and onto the shores of their enemies, and he is grateful for that. 

He’s spent so long being a savior, being a king on a black throne with a dark kefta weighing him down, and he’s happy to have someone switch roles with him. He is hopeful with her. He is safe with her. He’ll take her hand and they will execute torture upon those who believe them to be a species that is second best. Not that she knows the genocide that she will assist with, but soon. He will kiss her ears and he will tell her what her role in all of this madness is. “To save me,” he whispers against her throat. “To damn them.”

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO HAVE YOUR CHARACTER DIE?

Given the plot of the main books, of course I would be! I’m sure that the Darkling has a critical role — although equal to all of the other characters in the RP — in many of your planned events, so I’m more than willing to follow the admins’ chosen route for his character.

IN DEPTH

IN CHARACTER PARA SAMPLE:

He has since realized that his life is lived mostly in cycles. Phases that repeat until sufficient time has passed to allow for changes to the script. Always small, often expected, and rarely able to divert his attention from the worn path ahead of him. He has lived through enough centuries to know that all of his experiences are secondhand. He’s walked through the wilds of Tsibeya to the point of being able to remember a tree just by the curl of its branches, and he knows which of the clouds sliding across the Sikurzoi mountains will be the one to bring rain down upon Ravka’s thirsting soil. When the stars come, he needs only tilt his head upwards to catch sight of the first. He’s had years at his disposal to count them, but instead he only turns away with a sigh. Infinity is more comforting than the harshness of a set number. He lives in stasis until the skies bleed a shade that is foreign to him; until he stops knowing all the answers that he’s had so long to learn.

When word reaches of the Sun Summoner’s existence, the sky remains a hue of grey that mocks him; cast over in a way that proves not all miracles are capable of staining the horizon. He does not question the speed of it, how unceremoniously it arrives after an eternity of skinning his knees to pray for her, and the courier seems almost taken aback by the simple nod of his head at the news. His brow crinkles only barely, the line of his lips flat and his hands steady. 

He wouldn’t expect an otkazat’sya to understand his lack of a display — he’s learned not to scream until the knife has buried itself up to the hilt in his chest. He is a study in restraint. He can stay standing even as the world splits apart. Sankta Lizabeta never fell to her knees until they quartered her and left her pieces to rot in a field of roses. He’ll believe that the end of times has come when there is nothing; when his immortality has been severed.

“A woman?” he breaks the suspended silence with a question for the messenger, tongue scraping against the back of his teeth to apply a hiss to the tone of it. The man in front of him blinks in a justified confusion, so he clarifies the subject before he loses interest in receiving the answer. “The Oprichniki soldier who found the Sun Summoner. Were they a woman?” He inhales through his nose as he waits for the response, watching the human flip through his documents with trembling fingertips and sweat sliding down the length of his hooked nose. After a short pause, the courier lifts his jaw and inclines his head in a sign of confirmation.

“The notice of discovery was issued by a Svetlana Gavrikova, Moi Soverennyi. She’ll be the one escorting the Sun Summoner to camp.” A grin creeps up the side of the Darkling’s face not at the revelation of his guard’s identity, but at how uneasily his title of ‘Moi Soverennyi’ drips off the lesser man’s tongue. This creature is not his to govern and not his to protect; and yet still he submits to the sheer force of Aleksander’s presence. Just because it is the nature of things. Like calls to like — the hungry beg all beasts for a taste of their flesh when they are starving. The dirty wash themselves in anything that could provide comfort from the filth around them. He’s had enough lifetimes to learn that blood is just water by another name.

He doesn’t address Svetlana’s role in the Sun Summoner’s capture after all is spoken, though he places aside the proof of her loyalty for later calculation. When one of his Corporalki attendants steps forward, he does not twist his neck to face her and only clenches a fist at the sound of her clearing her throat. “Moi Soverennyi, should we plan something? For the Oprichniki soldier? A public declaration of her service?” He meets her gaze in that moment, allowing the arch of his eyebrows to sink low as he leans forward in her direction. The human standing before him sinks back with a startled breath, so he flicks his hand in a motion that grants the messenger permission to leave.

“Do we celebrate a farmer when he blisters his hands to reap his harvest?” he speaks to the Heartrender, gravelly and sleek all at once. “Do we praise a Squaller when she sends a skiff gliding safely through the Fold? Do we think anything of the bees in the meadow? Do the flowers thank them for keeping them alive?” The woman looks down and offers no argument against his words, and he sinks back into the cushions of his throne with an expression that is stoic and firm. “I won’t commend my guard for having done her job.” He leaves it at that, and the attendant accepts his reasoning. He does not dwell on the fact that she has no other choice; he has always believed in the natural order of things.

Still, he cannot dismiss his thoughts as he waits for the Sun Summoner to make her entrance. His Grisha soldiers whisper among themselves, pacing about the tent with hushed claims of suspicion and hope, but he does not engage in their conversations. If not for the intensity always buzzing around his form, one could almost forget that he was even there. The wielder of shadows is what he creates; will that be the same for the Sun Summoner?

Will she burn in her power the way that he can hide in his? Will she be the key that he believes her to be? It’s an already answered question. He knows how critical she is to his plans because for all of the possibilities he’s come up with for conquering the Fold, they all end with her. He cannot succeed without her light, and he licks the chapped stretch of his bottom lip like a beggar battling his thirst. She has him on his knees before he’s even had a chance to stand before her — and it must be true that he’s following his ancestor’s name. Sankt Ilya in Chains; Aleksander Morozova in awe.

And when she enters, he does not show any sign of being stunned. He only digs the blades of his shoulders deeper into the padding of his throne, sinking further and arching his neck skyward. This is not to intimidate the girl, however. It’s simply the nature of a hawk to fly. Those without wings cannot covet it for simply living its purpose. And hers, he finds himself wondering about more so than his own. He’s had all the time in the world to discover himself, to know himself and to hold himself and to comfort himself, but the Sun Summoner before him is a stranger. Something he’s wanted for so long that he almost feels her name burning on his tongue, but still he must ask for it.

“Altan,” he nods in greeting to the Heartrender that has brought his salvation into the room — though he gives credit where credit is due by lifting his gaze just long enough to catch Svetlana’s in the crowd. He spreads his right hand in satisfaction at the thought of those who serve him. How wonderful it is to have such loyal men and women at his back; a man that can take and give with a swivel of his wrist, and a trio that can break and burn and drown without any elements at their disposal. His fist closes all the same. He knows that it’s useless to praise them. They exist for a century and then they’re gone. He’s always been his only constant. There was a Svetlana before Svetlana, and there was an Altan before Altan. It’s only him in the end, until another comes to kiss the heels of his feet.

He’s never known a Sun Summoner, however. He sees so many faces when he looks out at the audience, but hers is hers alone. He has never craved a name more. “What do I call you?” he asks more softly than his voice is known for, but there is still a sharp urgency to it. He hears the wet parting of another’s mouth to answer his question, but he lifts a finger to silence them. “I want to hear from her. What is your name?”

“Gemma,” she answers, short and cutting and vague — yet he knows more now than when he started, so he’s grateful enough to smile. He’s felt what it’s like to have the anchor of a surname wrapped around himself, so he doesn’t apply any more pressure to her shoulders by asking for hers. He simply nods and keeps his stare locked to her own, blocking out all the others who are watching them.

“Is it true?” he presses, tone more guttural than he intends it to be. “That you’re the Sun Summoner? That you blinded a man?” She keeps her jaw steady, and for all of her composure, he hopes that the report is true. He could sculpt something out of all her stone.

“Yes,” she replies, and he tilts his head as he waits for the rest of her answer. It doesn’t come, and he has to rise to his feet to bring more out of her. “You know everything that I know.” He snickers, a laugh shooting up his throat and pooling in his mouth. How innocent of her to assume.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” he starts, stepping around her to face the crowd of Grisha and silently inclining his head to address their presence. He could allow them to speak their opinions on the matter, but he’s uninterested. If this girl claims to be equal to his knowledge, then none could come close to what she knows. Maybe the two of them have always been destined to suffer alone; together only as halves of a whole. The thought comforts him more than it should. “Let’s settle it. See if the thief is deserving of something more than a severed hand.”

He can see an argument flash across her features, but she represses her rage and keeps her lips tight. He finds himself once again thrilled. “Pull up your sleeve,” he commands, and she stares at him until he repeats it. “Could you pull up your sleeve?” And she does, slowly, and he calms her with a single glance before she can flinch away. “Now hold out your arm.” Like a wounded doe to a hand holding grain, she offers herself with hesitance, but when he brings his hands crashing together, he can feel her go jolting back.

Darkness spews forward, crowding the space with a pitch black ink that absorbs all started cries, and he steps forward and grips the bone of Gemma’s wrist before she can run. “Breathe,” he reassures her in the way a man would a startled horse, and he rubs his thumb along her flesh with an inhale that goes alongside her own. “Do you feel it? Open your ribs and let it out.” He guides her hand upwards through the blackness, making sure her palm is faced forward. “Answer its call.”

And then the light comes, suddenly and wickedly and more devastating than any endless night. He does not gasp with the others, though his eyes widen and he removes his hand from her wrist without her needing to pull away. He has to remind himself to breathe when he turns to Altan. “We have her,” he says with excitement under his breath, before looking to Svetlana. “Ready my carriage. She’ll make her journey to Os Alta immediately.” Svetlana nods obediently, and the Darkling calls after her with a low bark of urgency. “Guard her with everything you have. She is mine in this moment. Give her all you’ve given me.”

He looks at Gemma as Svetlana grips her and starts to pull her away, and he sends a hiss through his teeth that is meant to be a lulling sound. “Go gently, Gemma. Girl who blinds. Girl who steals. I know what you are now,” and he smiles, sharp and cutting and so hungry for what is to come. “When you arrive at your destination, you will know, too.”

And she leaves, and he exhales — and the cycle creaks. It is broken, and someday, he will thank her for what she has done. They’ll have plenty of days together.

CHARACTER HEADCANONS:

⦁ first — ⌜ what demons we leash; Unsea ⌟

It was meant to be his greatest accomplishment. The king he served at the time believed that it would be a display of his loyalty to Ravka’s cause, but as with most of his actions, the truth behind it was veiled. He cared not for the tension between Ravka and its bordering countries — his only goal was to shroud all enemies of the Grisha in an indomitable darkness; plunging all otkazat’sya into a void that only he had the ability to control. It should have been executed as he had planned for it to be. For all the routes he had calculated that its creation could have taken, he never thought of what would happen the day he tested out his idea on the stretch of farmland west of Ravka.

The tendrils of shadows swallowed the farmers and their houses whole, and just as the king smiled with a beaming pride, so did he. His experiment was a success, and in that moment he confirmed that he had the power to cover a nation in an endless night. He could bring it, but he later learned that he could not take it away. Try as he might, he couldn’t absorb the darkness back into himself, and in the time it took for he and his men to travel into the blackness to look for a way to rid of it, he only barely noticed the sound of flapping. They came upon his Grisha and the king’s soldiers and he watched as they were carried off by creatures he could not name.

Leathery skin and clouded eyes, all he could notice was their screeching. Theirs or the victims’ he was not sure, but they were certainly inhuman. He fought back only long enough to get out of the Fold, and when he saw that they could not follow him into the light, he had never felt more in love with the sun. He fell to his knees and he looked at his hands, at all the destruction he had wrought, and he had never wanted what it became. What happened to the men and women that were corrupted by his darkness was not intentional, and what became known as the volcra were not his. They’d call them the children of the Black Heretic some centuries later, but he would never claim them. They became the one thing he feared. The only things he could not command. 

He was lauded as a monster worse than the beast he was before then, and he had no choice but to flee when word of his mistake spread out across the nations. He was a coward, but he was alive. Ravka choked and sputtered due to being locked by the Fold, and he heard whispers of the causalities that kept rocketing when Ravkans tried to escape the country by crossing the Unsea.  Not just humans; even Grisha. His people were slaughtered just as equally as the abandoned, and he was ashamed. He was frightened. 

He vowed to return and save them, and he’s been trying to. He came back a century later as a descendent of himself, and he worked through the fear he was greeted with to plant the seeds of the Second Army. There the Grisha would be safe, free from the injustice he had only served to further, and he was content for a time. Letting them be soldiers until he could let them be free. Someday, he knows that they will be. He finally has his key now. Ravka and his ambitions will not remain locked for long.

⦁ second — ⌜ hope comes wearing white; Gemma ⌟

When she came to him, it felt as if her first summoning of light had shot through his very soul. He hadn’t expressed it outwardly, but when he took her wrist and brought out what she had been repressing for so long, he felt his chest tighten and hadn’t hesitated with ordering her journey to Os Alta. Suddenly, she belonged to him; and at the same time he knew that he could never keep her caged. They made the trip separately, but he kept running his thumb over the air as if her skin was still there between his grasp. He’d amplified many Grisha before, but none that had ever returned the sensation onto himself. He basked in it. In that dual power and hope, and he left it to cling to his skin; festering and burrowing deep within the marrow of his bones.

He’s spent so long hoping for her that it almost feels like a dream having her so close. He’s waiting to open his eyes and be torn from it, but then he blinks and realizes he’s already awake. He hasn’t dreamt in so long that this can’t possibly be a return to his childhood innocence. He’s still just as cruel a man as he’s always been, with dark intentions and a hunger for destruction, but the difference is that he doesn’t have to run any longer. He doesn’t have to wait. He can send terror raining down, and she can be his shield. He will not harm himself and his followers this time. Only the abandoned.  Left behind by who?

By them; he and his Sun Summoner. She is the light slipping through naked branches, and he is the rot creeping up its bark. He owns her and wraps a chain around her throat, but in the core of himself he knows that she is an entity separate to himself. Her element cannot be contained. Trap it in a jar and it fades from existence. He cannot risk losing her. He refuses to wait another century now that he has her. So he cherishes her, and he praises her, and he lets her be soft while trying to harden her. He wants her to be ready; he wants her to stand at his side without flinching. And if their devastation troubles her, he’ll lick the blood off her hands. She won’t have to carry the burden alone.

⦁ third — ⌜ I am not ruined; hopelessness ⌟

When the creation of the Fold backfired, he fell into his own darkness and drowned in the Unsea that was synonymous with his failure. They called him the Black Heretic, and what was meant to carry his people out of oppression only served to make them more feared. He could have stayed to suffer alongside them, and it’s true that he could have made payment for his mistake by accepting punishment, but he was his father’s son before he was a heretic; so he disappeared from the picture when his siring of the Unsea was complete.

He spent years hiding in the Fjerdan mountains and more trekking through Shu Han valleys. Some rumors say a man strikingly similar to the heretic was spotted in Ketterdam and even seen as far off as Novyi Zem. It was strange; going from a peasant to a king’s right-hand to a feared fugitive. He wore his shame in his hair, which grew as straggly as the whiskers that went untamed across his face. When he lost his fire, he started to look his age. A hermit of a man with shame in his eyes, and no matter how often his mother sought him out and begged him to come home to Ravka, he knew he had to do so of his own accord without any pressure. 

She raised him to be everything. A frightened child and a battle ready man all under one layer of skin, and for so long of being told that nothing could stand against him, everything shook when the volcra tore his confidence away. It was a process of acceptance and discipline, finding himself in foreign places and helping the Grisha of more ravenous nations. He never stayed long enough to be thanked; he did not deserve his people’s praise yet. He would wait for them to speak their worship against the arch of his feet when he brought them out of the Unsea that he had poured. 

How peculiar. To kill those you wish to save, and to spend so long afterwards trying to resurrect them.  He returned and they were sceptical, but he won their favor with his wisdom and his charm.  He snaked his way back into the palm of another king, but this time he remained wise. This time he made no mistakes. He clipped his hair short and he trimmed his jaw, and he became youthful once more. Not hopeful; never bright and smiling like the child Aleksander had once been fleetingly. He was firm and he was stoic, but he was there. That had to be enough for his underlings. He was at least there to suffer alongside them now. The Grisha were not alone, but he was still missing a piece of himself. “Sun Summoner,” he’d whisper in his sleep with eyes wide open. “Come to us. Come to me.”

⦁ fourth — ⌜ I am ruination; plans ⌟

Now that he has Gemma, a missing piece of himself has resurfaced; the hunger he repressed while he was licking his wounds. She is the key that he has seen crafted behind his eyelids for the last century, the thing he has felt in his hand before ever having the chance touch the gold of its surface, and there will never be something more important than her in his eyes. Only two that could combat her. Himself and his people. But nothing draws him closer than those three things. 

She gives him light and he gives her darkness, and together they can finish what he could never complete. He wants to show the world what his intentions truly were. He wants to send the volcra to tear the Drüskelle and their wolves apart, and he wants to send a horde flying across the Sikurzoi mountains to feast on the Shu. Let the witch burners be bled out, and let the experimenters be torn open like they so enjoy doing to the Grisha. It’s the perfect irony. Let those he cannot control swallow the world, and let Gemma keep him and his loyalists safe. She makes him less afraid.

Not even his mother could do that for him. She gave him a spine of iron and made sure his lineage was an image of perfection by mating with the most powerful Heartrender she could find, but she never thought to give him softness. She never gave him love. She assured him that he was above all else, but never told him why that was. All he’s ever had is his power and his eternity, and all else is fleeting. His followers are always changing, and his king is replaced each century. He wants to hold something beyond himself. Beyond the mother who never asked him to love her back; who didn’t teach him how.

He wants to suffer with her, and he wants to prosper all the same. He’s been everything, and he wants to give her a taste of that. He’s going to see his goal be realized. The otkazat’sya will have no king to hide behind. There will be only one empire. Only one ruler and his mistress, should she agree to take his hand and reign beside him. She needs only allow him to lock his being around hers, and then no queen will ever stand higher. No empress could ever be closer to the sun. 

And it will be bloody. They will walk across ashes and wade through darkness, but she will warm him. He will guide her through all the terrors before them. The Grisha will live in peace, without fear beyond the two of their kind that are more than they. He’ll hold his hands in front of her vision should she ask to not see the carnage, but he hopes she’ll revel in it just as he does. He is his mother’s son. His mate can be no less than he. 

EXTRAS:

Here is where you can find my mock-blog for Aleksander.

⌜ PERSONALITY ANALYSIS ⌟ Astrological sign: Scorpio Moral alignment: Lawful Evil MBTI type: ISTJ-A (The Logistician) Hogwarts house: Slytherin

ANYTHING ELSE?

Thank you for taking the time to review this application. You’re always welcome to message me if any issues arise. My favorite book as of right now is Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente. It’s helped me so much with inspiration for each of the applications that I’ve worked on, and I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t had the chance to read it yet. It follows a plotline that is rather similar to the Grisha Trilogy in some aspects.

[tirkdi]

A Family Affair: Mal & the Darkling at a Family Reunion

The premise sounds like crack but the relationship is canon and I can’t believe we don’t have more of this. Featuring hacker!Alina, genetic analysis, and the Darkling’s Terrible Innuendos™. I’m not even sorry.

‘Family’ was still a new concept for Malyen Oretsev.

He’d heard of families all his life, of course – mostly in the context of his not having one. Growing up in an orphanage had been rough at the best of times, but even in his darkest moments Mal had never let himself imagine that there was a family waiting for him somewhere out there.

To look around at them now was … unreal.

When Alina had come home a few months before from her new job at a fancy-and-secretive tech company with a couple coupons for free genetic background analysis, Mal hadn’t thought much of it. He’d scoffed at the cheek swabs but she wanted to do it and he wanted her to be happy so he’d sent his sample in along with hers. When the emails arrived saying their results were ready, they logged into Alina’s account first.

Alina was, the site had said, a carrier for several western African and Ashkenazi genetic diseases, a fact seemingly at odds with the heritage summary that had reported her genetic makeup as split evenly between a region of central China and an unspecified indigenous South American group.

Alina Starkov, the site had proudly announced, you have 0 potential relatives on our site. And then, in moment of exceptional cruelty: Click here to order some kits for your family!

Mal’s results had been less surprising – the site reported that his brown hair and blue eyes came from some combination of the usual west and north European suspects. More unexpected, though, had been that he had five potential relatives on the site.

“Click to see who they are!” Alina prompted, but Mal had hesitated, unsure. In the morning, though, he had a message waiting from one of them.

Dear cousin, it began, and suddenly there was wind or maybe dust in the room because Mal’s vision started to blur.

Ginny, his cousin a few times removed it turned out, had been doing a large scale genealogy project on her own family and had hoped that some people from branches for whom the records petered out might show up on the site. She was beyond thrilled to learn that he was an Oretsev.

She had told him about a family reunion she was planning the next month, conveniently close to where they lived. With Alina’s new job (Mal understood just enough to know that it involved security, computers, and was very, very impressive) they could, for the first time, afford to travel. Unfortunately, Alina was practically chained to her laptop; she’d had to fight just to get the day off to come to the reunion. (“It’s on a Saturday,” Mal had said. Alina had rolled her eyes. “Our CTO says hackers don’t take weekends.”)

They’d rented a car and driven, nearly a three hour trip including a few routes more scenic than they’d meant to take, and they’d arrived late. Mal had gone to apologize to Ginny, but when she saw him she had just thrown her arms around his neck and hugged him.

Maybe this is what family is, he’d thought, amazed.

He and Alina had spent the last half-hour on the lawn, shaking hands with members of his very extended family. The Oretsevs were a bit of a lost branch and he hadn’t met anyone who had a common relative closer than four or five generations back, but everyone was happy to meet him, welcoming and warm.

Alina was beautiful in a sundress and charming in a way he almost never saw her. She typically preferred to be behind her computer screen, often grumbling that she had more in common with hackers in other continents than with their neighbors. But here around his family she seemed energized, somehow, excited – none of the nerves that he had, all of the joy.

She squeezed his hand. “I’m going to go see if Ginny has any more of that lavender lemonade. Want anything while I’m in there?” Mal shook his head and she smiled, kissed him lightly on the nose. “I love you.”

That was enough. It had always been enough.

Mal turned to see another late arrival to the party, inwardly relieved that he and Alina weren’t the last ones to show up. A man, suited, escorted a much older woman with a cane – his mother, Mal supposed. The woman took a seat and was immediately engaged in conversation (or at least talked at) by several other matriarchs. Mal walked across the lawn towards the man.

“Hi,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’m Mal.”

A glance of cool grey, a nod towards Mal’s name tag. “I can see that.”

Ooookay. He smiled gamely and pointed at a nearby table. “If you want one, name tags are over there.”

“I’m aware.”

New strategy. “So you have much contact with this branch of your family?”

“None, actually.”

Somehow Mal wasn’t surprised. “What brings you here then?”

“My mother wished to come.” He responded to Mal’s look with an even gaze. “Haven’t you ever done anything to make your mother happy?”

One part of Mal’s brain reasoned that this man couldn’t possibly know that he was an orphan. The other part of his brain insisted that he had intended that comment to hurt every bit as much as it did.

Mal had never been so relieved to see Alina as when she stepped out of the house at that moment. She saw him and smiled, her face lighting like the sun – just for a moment, before her expression was replaced by something much darker.

She stomped over to where he was, furious, and he didn’t understand why until she walked right past him to the suited man, grabbing his arm and turning him around.

“What happened,” she practically shouted, “to 'hackers don’t take weekends’??”

It took Mal a moment. Then he looked at the man, back at Alina. “You’re the …”

“He’s my CTO.” Alina scowled.

The man seemed unperturbed. He was silent for a moment before turning to Mal. “That stands for Chief Technology Officer.”

“I know what it stands for,” Mal ground out. Alina had been complaining about the CTO nearly since she started the job; Mal was beginning to understand why.

She narrowed her eyes. “It’s quite a coincidence that I take one day off in the last three months and you show up to my boyfriend’s family reunion.”

“Your boyfriend,” the man repeated. He glanced between the two of them and something like relief crossed his face, replaced quickly by something like irritation. Then boredom. Mal wasn’t sure which he liked least.

He didn’t have a chance to decide, however, because Ginny chose that exact moment to appear. Her mouth formed an excited O as she looked up at the man in front of her. “You must be one of the Morozovas!” His lack of response didn’t discourage her, and she continued: “You look just like the photos of your grandfather Ilya.”

“Fascinating,” the CTO replied.

Ginny beamed despite his tone, either ignoring or failing to notice the fact that he hadn’t looked at her once. All his attention was on Alina, who glared back at him, hands clenched to fists at her sides. Ginny waved at someone across the lawn and excused herself, leaving the three of them alone again.

“On my way here, I received word that that contract we’d been hoping for came through,” the man told Alina, his tone deliberately casual in a way to indicate that it was anything but. “We’ll need to get started immediately.”

Alina’s fists didn’t unclench, but her eyes widened just enough to dim her scowl.

“What sort of project?” asked Mal.

“The classified sort.” Morozova hadn’t looked his way and Mal thought he wouldn’t elaborate, but after a beat he continued. “The reporting structure will be different for the duration of this project – Alina will be working directly under me.”

Mal furrowed his brow. Did he just –

The CTO turned towards Mal, met his eyes. “It’s going to require a lot of long, hard nights.”

Mal’s jaw dropped. HE DID.

Alina’s scowl was back. “Come on, Mal,” she bit out as she grabbed his hand. “Let’s go talk to someone from the non-asshole side of your family.”

Mal let her lead him away and glanced back at the CTO who seemed, shockingly, almost amused. “I’ll see you at the office this evening, Alina.”

She waved back at him using one particular finger and led Mal straight across the lawn. Mal regained his capacity for speech somewhere past the table full of tiny cucumber sandwiches. “He’s even worse than you said.”

“I know.” She dropped his hand, put hers on her hips and scanned the yard, a deep line formed between her brow. “But I can handle him – other than that, it’s my dream job.”

“Won’t he fire you if you talk to him like that though?”

Alina exhaled loudly and shook her head, frustration evident in her movements. “No, he needs me too much.”

Mal knew he should keep his mouth shut, and he tried to – and failed. “Long, hard nights kind of need you?”

If she had stormed off and taken the car back to the city, leaving him in the yard in the middle of nowhere, he would have deserved it. For a second there, he thought she might. But then she laughed, and this time when she shook her head it was light. “More like I’m the only reason we got that contract in the first place. I think I’m going to go see if Ginny has anything stronger than that lemonade. Can you drive us home?” She grabbed his hand again, and at her touch he felt the tension in his chest release.

He smiled. “Anything for you.”

She smiled back before leading him across the yard to a table with drinks where more family members waited, eager to meet him, unlike the one they’d left behind. I guess you really can’t choose your family, Mal thought, amazed at the aptness of a saying he’d never thought would apply to him.

When, sometime later, Mal looked back towards where the CTO stood, the man was still staring at Alina. Mal was about to mention it to her when the man’s gaze shifted towards him and something about his expression made Mal think better of saying anything at all and anxious to leave. It wasn’t until a couple hours later, relieved to have concrete passing below him at 70 miles an hour and Alina snoring lightly in the passenger seat, that he realized that he hadn’t really escaped, that family was the one thing he wouldn’t be able to just leave behind.

Alina shifted towards him, maybe dreaming, and Mal sighed, turning back to the long stretch of highway in the approaching dusk. After a moment he reached towards her, the only family he had chosen, and grasped her fingers in his. In her sleep, Alina smiled.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Okay, so my last attempt at this disappeared. I’m posting this again, then.

Birthday gift for my friend @bluerosesburnblue, that pairs Ephemer with her version of Player “Sanya”:

Summary: When Ephemer and Sanya have their first meeting and mission together in ages, things seem great… But this begins to unravel, when Sanya remembers everything, Brain contemplates many a thing, and more of the Master of Master’s plan is undone.

Breaking Glass Ceilings

Sanya looked at Ephemer, finding it hard to keep her crush on him in check.

She was aware that it was stupid—since she barely knew the guy—but what could she say? He had been one of her first friends, and that stuck.

Plus, the boy was beautiful. So, there was that.

But Sanya tried to put all of this on the backburner—as she always did—and instead tried to figure out the mystery that was Daybreak Town right now.

There was some sort of hologram of it appearing above the Foretellers’ Tower? Well, that didn’t bode well to Sanya.

It reminded her of a movie that had, ironically, been playing when the Master of Masters had still been around: one that had dealt with people thinking that the world they were in was the actual dream.

And while the light within Sanya didn’t want to believe that that was the case, she had to wonder. Wouldn’t it explain a lot of the things that were happening lately?

But until Sanya knew more—because in her eyes, she wasn’t wise—she was reserving judgement.

But when Brain began explaining things, in a sort of techno-babble that Sanya couldn’t keep up with at all…  from the few things she’d been able to understand, she thought her suspicion might have been correct.

And when Sanya and Ephemer entered the very data-esque world of Sugar Rush, she began praying that Fix-It Felix Junior would somehow fix her world back to the way it had been before.

Sanya ended up telling Ephemer as much… and about her other suspicions.

At night—while the two of them were in some sort of candy forest, and using candy canes as sticks for fire—Sanya asked the question that had been playing on her mind for so long. “I’m having… dreams about the Keyblade War. And that can’t be, because that didn’t happen. Right? So why am I dreaming these things so vividly? It actually happened... didn’t it, Ephemer? And if so… can we believe that our world exists?”

There it was: everything Sanya had been regretfully mulling over for ages.

She had been afraid to give voice to any of it—thinking it would make it real, and she hated herself for doing so now.

In a way… it was sort of liberating to finally have it all out in the open. But Sanya was taken aback to find just how much she just wanted to move on to the next issue. Was it her heart’s way of trying to endure the pain?

Ephemer’s silence and expression were the clear answer to all of this for Sanya: his mouth was now agape—as if he meant to say something—and his arms were outstretched to, perhaps, hug her.

And if that was his intent—Sanya didn’t know for sure—she knew she would have turned him down here. Even with her crush on him and love for this friend, she would have done that.

“Sanya… I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have done it if Master Ava hadn’t insisted. Or I guess… I guess if I hadn’t seen what you’d been like after the Keyblade War.” And it was here, that Sanya really wanted to yell at him: that they were her memories, and no one had any right to take them or to make judgement calls for her. Weren’t those who didn’t know history doomed to repeat it? But Sanya just resisted saying so.

For one thing, Ephemer had just been a cog in the machine. Her outrage should have been at Lady Ava again.

But most of all… their main thing should be surviving the Cy-Bugs right now, which Calhoun was certain would get to this world at any moment. And if both Cy-Bugs and Heartless came to exist here, Sanya didn’t know how they’d survive it. But she and her Chirithy would sure try to fight!

Deciding to look at the positive for just a moment—because the negatives would certainly come back to haunt her in her dreams—Sanya recalled a certain memory of Ephemer’s hand in her own, and had to ask: “So… do I actually know you more than I think do?”

Ephemer laughed at this—something that was music to Sanya’s ears, because she didn’t want everything to be ruined between them forever—before saying with his hands up in the air again, “Not really. No? …’cept for the time Skuld and I came and rescued you in the Keyblade Graveyard. But you’ve actually spent more time with Skuld than me—maybe you remember that?—but you guys did spend a while looking for me, so maybe you were thinking of me then…. I’m sorry about that.”

Ephemer was scratching his head nervously now.

It was, despite everything, a lovely sight. And did not hint at how in a few hours’ time,  the cookie would crumble

Right now… Sanya just yawned—said she’d had enough of the heavy, and that they’d continue their search for Ralph in the morning—and stretched out and went to sleep.

As she dreamed, she saw that the only way to leave this world… might be to kill themselves in it.

…

When Sanya woke up, she felt some of the fury she’d stamped down the previous night rising back up.

And while Chirithy was a pleasant presence by her side—trying to convince her to let it go—she couldn’t get over just how she’d been betrayed.

And if she really had been closer to Skuld and knew her better than Ephemer… It hurt even more, to know that she had also done this. Not that Ephemer had said that, but it wasn’t hard to guess.

There was even a dark part of her (and a scared one), that thought maybe they all deserved to be stuck in this data structure or whatever it was.

Ava had meant for them to get out into the New World and to begin again… But if even they, the hope, behaved like this, why even curse the world with such humans again?

“Don’t dwell on it, Sanya,” Chirithy said sadly, as he crawled up onto her lap and put her face between his fuzzy paws. “Dwelling on the bad is what led to the Nightmare Chirithy last time,”  

Sanya frowned. She definitely didn’t want a situation like that to rear its ugly head again. Dark Chirithy’s “see you in another dream” echoed in her mind—and she still had nightmares about it.

It had been Sanya’s bottling up everything before that had led to the Nightmare Chirithy. So she didn’t want to keep it bottled up like that again and cause another disaster when it inevitably grew to be too much to bear. Hadn’t that been why she’d blown up at Master Ava, when she’d been disguised as Master Ira and saying she’d killed Ephemer? Hadn’t that led to darkness in her own heart?

She’d nearly wanted to her friendship with Ephemer just now, since he’d taken her memories of the war, and Sanya didn’t think that was right. Despite the Union Leaders’ best efforts,, bits and pieces of the horrors were coming back to her. And since she already recalled them, she wished she at least had the context to make sense of it all.

…The “Riku” medals also used darkness, and they were fine… As was everyone when they used Special Attack Bonus over Guilting now, so was it possible… that darkness maybe wasn’t as bad as they’d all come to believe?

That seemed hard to believe, as the two of them rested warily in the candy forest and only half-slept in fear of Heartless and Cy-Bugs… but it was what it was.

Sanya was even tempted to wake Ephemer, and to get his opinion on all of this… but she didn’t.

Suddenly possessed by the urge to go to the Foretellers’ Tower for the third time now—and to do it secretly, for she didn’t know what she’d do—Sanya decided to leave this mission unfinished for the moment (things seemed okay right now. And should the worst happen, Ephemer was there and she’d be right back), and to get back to the data version of Daybreak Town or whatever it really was.

She ran back through Game Central Station, through the circuit—battling a few more Darklings here and there as she did so, with her heart breaking for them now that she remembered what they really used to be—and was in the control room before she could blink.

And then Sanya saw Brain—she thought that was his name—with all the gears.

And as she eyed them… Sanya couldn’t help but feel even more suspicious.

Having a room like this—and choosing to spend all your time in it—just seemed devious to Sanya. She didn’t care if it was needed to survey the Keyblade wielders for their own safety or not…

The fact that Brain was in here all the time—when surely it could run on autopilot some of the time—made it seem like he saw the people he worked with as the very cogs here.

Breathing heavily, Sanya summoned Missing Ache to her hand—to which Chirithy objected with concern on his face—and she prepared to do battle with Brain if it came to it.

Fortunately, he didn’t seem to think that her action was hostile—and truthfully, Sanya wasn’t yet sure if it was—and as he watched her from beneath the brim of his hat, he asked: “Sanya, what are you doing here? The mission that you and Ephemer were on isn’t complete yet.”

Sanya was tempted to quip that she only took orders from Master Ava, who he wasn’t—but she didn’t.

There was no need to be passive-aggressive, and to turn it into something truly aggressive just yet.

So, she just questioned softly, “If we really have been in the Virtual Daybreak Town—and have been since Master Ava created the Dandelions, without knowing that we were there—will we ever even know if we can get out of this place? And if we can… What awaits us outside of here? We were supposed to repopulate the world after the Keyblade War, weren’t we? And if we don’t… I mean, is there even anything out there? And if there issomehow… Who knows how long we’ve been in here? Will we get out just to find there’s nothing left? …Is any of this even worth it?”

Brain smiled at Sanya. Part of her felt that this was a good sign… but it made the rest of her feel uneasy in a way that she couldn’t place.

He tipped his hat to her once, then commended her intuition. “That’s very good. You know about the Book of Prophecies, and how we used to use it to project future versions of the worlds to go to. So as long as we could do that, surely it meant a future with those worlds still existed.

“However… you were here for my lecture towards Ephemer and Ventus. And you know that we’re now going to data versions of the formerly prophesized worlds… Those simulations can exist indefinitely—even if the worlds they’re based on don’t come to exist—should something go awry. So, no: there’s no way to tell just by going to the worlds whether they exist or not anymore. The fact that the Master has us going to data worlds now may even be a clue that he didn’t think there would be worlds left… But don’t you think it’s still best to try?”

Try… Sanya didn’t know what it was, but despite Brain’s simple outfit and laid-back personality, she got the sense that he’d try until his dying breath to see that very cause through. Which seemed like the right thing to do. But could there be too much of a good thing?

It was at that point that Ephemer joined them. And at first, Sanya looked at him ashamed: because with Ephemer gone… had Ralph’s world lost the best chance it had? …But at the same time, these things needed hammering out.

“I thought you two might be here,” Ephemer said pleasantly enough, though his smile seemed to disappear just when he took in their serious expressions. “…What’s going on?”

Forgetting the idea she’d had earlier about all of them dying to do this—had that been the darkness getting to her?.—Sanya spoke. It was an idea that appeared in her head just then… and something in her heart felt so strongly, that it must have been right.

“I think- I think we need to reenter the outside world again, and to do so- We should unplug Daybreak Town from Game Central Station and take it completely off the grid.”

Sanya hoped they got what she meant by taking Daybreak Town “off the grid”. She meant to have it lose all its power, and for everyone to stop doing missions for the time being. That way, whoever was observing them in the real world would notice the change, come check on them, and maybe they could follow them out that way.

“But that completely goes against the Master’s plans,” Ephemer answered with a depressed undertone to his voice. He was almost looking at Sanya as if he was seeing her for the first time, which stung.

And right away, she had wanted to retort that she didn’t exactly trust the Master of Masters—and if Sanya was gauging Brain’s silence correctly, he didn’t either—but she was also far from knowing all the answers, and from who she’d been when she’d undergone darkness training with Hades just so she could save Hercules: While there was a side of Sanya that was beginning to think that light and darkness needed to be kept in balance—didn’t plenty of the future medals have darkness to them?—she also still hated herself for the Nightmare Chirithy incident, and because so many friends of hers had died in the Keyblade War. Because the Foretellers just had to-

No. Sanya didn’t trust herself to not do something atrocious with this darkness eating away at her. So, for many a reason, she was thinking she should give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that the Master was right…

But on the off-chance he wasn’t, she also wanted to lay groundwork for someone else to begin what she started.

“Ephemer… you’re perhaps my dearest friend. And a leader—if I’m understanding things correctly—so whatever you choose I’ll follow no matter what… But if we are in a lie, don’t you think it’s best if we leave it? And I know you weren’t there when my own Nightmare Chirithy tried to kill me, but he said he’d see me in another dream and I’m sure he’s gonna follow through with it! So far, I haven’t seen him. And if I get out now, maybe we never will.”

To Sanya’s surprise, Brain came over to her and put a hand on her shoulder as he maybe, just maybe, let her see under his hat a bit more and smiled at her.

“Your friend has some good points, Leader. You should listen to her… I was really interested in Sugar Rush, but now I think we should drop it, too… What I know about ‘video games’ is very slim—since they only exist in the future, and what I do know is from skimming the medals and the Book of Prophecies—but I think Ralph’s world is exactly that. That would mean that we’re connected to whatever controls a video game… Makes me worry that someone may be playing our own lives. Or trying to find a way to do so. I think we should sever our connection to that world to be safe… And, just to be clear: none of that world was written in the Book of Prophecies.”

Ephemer was angry now, Sanya could see. He frowned and clenched his fists at his sides. And Sanya got why…

For so long, they’d helped any world they could to gather Lux. Why should this one be any different, when it desperately needed them?

“I don’t think I can agree to that, guys. At least not yet… Let the other Union Leaders wake up and then we’ll vote on it, okay?”

…And so they did.

But only between three of the Union Leaders. Ventus and Skuld were gone…

And no search through Daybreak Town, or any of the rest of the worlds, showed any sign of them. Not even Lauriam’s smart friend Elrena—who had also apparently been asked about Strelitzia—proved to be of any help.

And Sanya’s heart ached for Skuld. And so Chirithy gave Sanya many cuddles for that fact…

Until Sanya decided what she had to do.

Ventus and Skuld had gone missing the moment she’d talked about leaving, as if the outside world had listened in and punished her for the thought. So Sanya had started to work together with Brain to dismantle the digital Daybreak Town and get outside, when the pair received some unexpected help from the form of Master Gula.

Sanya didn’t care what the results of this would be; that Ephemer would disapprove and break her heart in doing so, that information for two who didn’t exist—a Dyme, and a Drulo—would show up in Daybreak Town when they were trying to destroy it, or that Sugar Rush would somehow be replaced with a “Verum Rex”.

All Sanya cared about was getting outside.

And, despite everything, making Master Ava’s dream come true.

There, she wouldn’t be subjected to this world’s laws… and should be able to get back all of her memories of her friends, as well as her missing ones.

Sanya reached out to the sky as glass flooded around her—and Gula came floating up beside her—and then she closed her eyes.

Author’s Note: So, I actually meant for this to be a cute shipping piece between Ephemer and Sanya–since I know you ship Ephemer and Player, Liz, especially your Player with him–but somehow it turned tragic, and my idea of what might happen next I guess. Oops.