#he both saves his friends from forever falling in the void

[narcissusinvain]

A strange little drabble I wrote about the start of the Life Series

Listen this was originally going to the start of a fic but it got a bit too lorey to a fic that was essentially just fluff soo

*shoves this at you and runs*

________________________

You feel strange, falling through the void. 

Logically, you must know you were falling. 

Not that you’re able to tell - the strange stillness of the void (like a breath being held) allowed for no wind, and yet you were breathing. 

Why are you breathing? 

You can’t live, not in any way that matters. 

And still… you have had enough brushes with It before to know the chill sets in quick. One curious dip into the void left your fingers frostbitten and the knowledge that that death would be quick and painful, freezing you and then discarding you to be cradled in the strangely safe arms of Lady Death. 

You surely… you shouldn’t be breathing. 

Not unless…

Well.

Not unless Something wants you to. 

Stop. 

Curious… he is Realising. 

He wouldn’t be the first. Stop him. 

Of course. All the same…

What, Two?

He is far quicker than we could have expected. We have not yet fed-

He has always been subverting expectations. There is nothing to probe. Just stop him. 

A cool hand on your forehead. You jolt, arms outstretched as if you can cling onto anything in the resolute nothing. 

Quiet, player. You have played your game well.

It’s not quite a voice. The knowledge appears in your mind as It ‘speaks’ and you are soothed. You have indeed played the game well. 

And the universe said I love you because you- 

Are love. He knows this already. Why does he know this already? 

He is aware. Be quicker. Just finish it. 

You are love. You have played the game well. You can dream now. You have finished. 

This.. this isn’t how it goes. But you are soothed anyway, your arms falling back (if there really are directions here), to relax. 

To sleep. 

...

…

…

… 

How did the original go, again? 

You would rather like to sleep, to go back to dreaming. But you cannot leave a button not pressed, as it were. 

… 

And the universe said I love you because you are love. 

And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. 

Why did they not want him to wake up? He wants to wake up, he thinks. 

He remembers? 

He would like to… what was it again? To be the daylight, and the night and all that other stuff, but he would much rather like to wake up, now. To stop falling in this not-quite void. 

How can he remember?

Remembrance… that’s important, too. He didn’t need the love from the Universe, not really, because he remembered he was loved. He was someone’s brother, someone’s friend, someone’s son. 

And he knew he loved them all right back. If he… 

It seems silly, but he needed his name, now. He knew there was one assigned to him that was unsteady, like a crown too big atop his head.

Some god’s name that had never quite fit the player the way it should fit those non-beings, those watchers. 

I don’t Understand. One? 

He had another one, he was sure of it. Not his god-given name, nor the one he was born with. One he had chosen. 

Why does he never Listen? 

One breath in, one breath out. 

And that alone, proved he was alive, and capable of love. 

So he harnessed his love and felt. Felt for his sister, who would speak his name in a yelp, out of breath and grinning. Felt for his brother, who would whine under the pretence of annoyance. For his best friend, who would shout it loud and unapologetically, simultaneously telling him off and egging him on. For his love, who would whisper his nickname, a smirk always found on his face. 

Grian. Grian. Grian. Grian. 

And then all at once, whatever kept Grian not-quite-falling through the not-quite-void snapped and he fell. 

He fell, and fell, and          f

  el

l

Grian fell and he took his memories, his loves and his Life with him.

Do something.

He opened his eyes. It was so dark it didn’t make much of a difference, but he at least liked the choice of it. 

Such choices. 

Between one blink and the next, sunlight began to shine brightly into Grian’s eyes; he whooped, ignoring his watering eyes because it was windy. 

And then he landed on the ground (far softer than he thought he would be) and even the ground with the rocks digging sharply into his back was a relief since he finally wasn’t fucking falling. He stood up, impatiently wiping the tears from his eyes when he paused, staring at his arm.

Three hearts were imprinted onto his forearm. 

He touched the one closest to his wrist, lightly grazing the green heart and - was he imagining it? Or was it pulsing?

Oh little Xelqua.

Did you really think you could escape that easily?

[galactic-magick]

I Love You, I'm Sorry: Viktor x Reader

Based off of this reply on my last Viktor fic:

@lillycore : Duddee, imagine after the final scene between Viktor and Jayce they just disappear (I refuse to believe they both died, I’m just going believe, until it’s confirmed, that they simply teleported somewhere else), leaving reader alone without a chance to confront Viktor and believing they both died. So now, reader is left to pick up the pieces of her closest friend and love of her life gone, while believing Viktor no longer loves her (he does though, he was just a little confused with everything, but he still loves her)

Words: 1.2k

Author's Notes: Thank you all so much for the notes and kind words on my last Viktor fic, it truly means the world to me as a writer to see so many people touched by my writing. I hope you enjoy this equally devastating part 2.

They’re gone. They’re really gone.

No family, no friends, not a single loved one of yours survived this damn war. All this world has done is take, take, take.

You’re haunted by the last time you saw your beloved Viktor—completely unrecognizable. He had turned himself into a monster, disappearing with Jayce trying to save him. You didn’t even get to say goodbye, you didn’t even get to tell him you still love him.

Or ask if he still loved you.

You don’t know what would hurt less, believing he stopped loving you, or believing he did everything he did while loving you.

-

“Why can’t she hear me?” Viktor shouts into the void. He’s been calling your name for what feels like an eternity, his voice no longer carrying to your world.

Jayce puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, “You don’t have vessels to speak through anymore. She probably thinks we’re dead. Well, maybe we are…”

“No, no, this can’t be the end,” Viktor shakes his head vigorously. “I have to get back to her. She...she needs to know I love her. She needs to know I’m sorry.”

He falls to his knees amongst the stars, cursing himself for everything. How could he choose the hexcore over you? Why didn’t he seek you out when he survived the explosion? How did he let himself descend so far into madness that he forgot about your importance to him?

He’s now desperate for you to hear him, pleading the forces that bind his consciousness to this astral plane for another chance. He searches this dimension he’s come to know so well, looking for a loophole or tear in the fabric, but it’s no use. Everything has been closed—his supposed eternal consequence for his abuse of power.

Jayce saved him from himself, a feat he will forever be indebted to him for, but what is the point of redemption if he cannot live it out in his own flesh?

Would there have been a body left for him anyway? Would you still have loved him as the monstrosity he became?

Why must he still be cursed with the full vision of the universe? He sees you continue your life so clearly, but he can’t touch you, can’t speak to you. Your form shines the brightest light he’s ever seem in this dimension, an achievement that is not easily matched. He wonders if you can feel him reaching out to you, some sort of spiritual pull back to him. He will do anything to find a way to talk to you again.

-

You’ve been having dreams—dreams you can’t explain. Ever since Viktor’s disappearance, he’s tormented you day and night, constantly occupying your thoughts without mercy. You can hear his voice, but it sounds so far away you can never make out the words. You just wish it would all stop. You wish you could just erase him and all of the pain from your memory.

Sometimes you still feel a presence, the feeling you used to feel when he was in the same vicinity with you, admiring you from across a room. It’s a familiar warmth that used to wash you with peace, whereas now it makes your heart ache. You suppose it’s a normal symptom of grief, subconsciously denying that he’s really gone.

You start to go through his things he left at your house, beginning with his various textbooks and notebooks he would bring over for studying. Seeing his scribbles and handwriting again brings tears to your eyes, a single drop falling onto the paper as you read.

You blink a few times, seeing a couple of letters on the page start to glow. You must be seeing things, hallucinating from sleep deprivation. You close the journal and open it again, but the glowing letters are still there.

You grab a separate piece of paper and write down each glowing letter, finding fifteen total.

“I - L-O-V-E - Y-O-U - I-M - S-O-R-R-Y”

This isn’t happening. It can’t be.

-

“It’s working! She got my message!” Viktor exclaims.

“How...how are you doing that?” Jayce asks.

“Tiny rips in space—not big enough for either of us to escape through—but certainly big enough to briefly touch that reality,” Viktor pauses, still waiting for a response from you, but it doesn’t come.

-

You close the journal and sob, praying for an end to this misery. Your mind is playing tricks on you, deceiving you to a level you never thought possible. Must you be haunted by this forever? Must you endure the aftermath of this trauma?

You open it once again, the letters still glowing, but they start to fade right in front of your eyes. A new set of letters begin to glow, so you write those down as well.

“I-T-S - M-E - D-A-R-L-I-N-G”

And then another set of letters.

“P-L-E-A-S-E - T-A-L-K - T-O - M-E”

Maybe you’re not imagining.

You’ve heard of magicians who can converse with the dead, and the possibility of other dimensional planes and universes. Viktor himself had some theories about it, although he never pursued proving them. Could it really be possible that your beloved was speaking to you?

“Viktor?” you say out loud. “Are you...are you alive?”

“I - D-O-N-T - K-N-O-W”

The pencil drops from your hand again as your head falls to the table. His consciousness is somehow alive, clearly, but there’s no way he can explain to you where he is and how to get him out one letter at a time. You’re nowhere near his level of intellect—even if he explained how to rescue him like you’re five years old—you fear you still would mess something up.

“Viktor...I can’t do this. You can’t do this to me,” you sigh, daring to look at the words again. “You abandoned me, and now my life is a living hell because of the destruction you helped cause. I want nothing to do with your war and stupid glorious evolution. So if you’re not here to take me away from this life, please go away.”

The same original words start glowing again, brighter each time they sequence:

I love you, I’m sorry.

I love you, I’m sorry.

I love you, I’m sorry.

“Love doesn’t do what you did. Love doesn’t abandon its humanity for power.”

Please forgive me.

“I do forgive you for everything, Viktor. That’s exactly why I need to forget about you, because I will never stop loving you and hurting for it if I don’t.”

With blurry eyes, you close the journal and throw it into the fireplace, regretting it almost immediately. You grab a stick and pull it out, your tears falling onto the soot-stained cover.

“Please, just...find a way back to me.”

I will.

[cloudninetonine]

This had to stop happening.

Losing the Chain was becoming some sort of betting case now. When would it happen next? 10 rupees within the hour, 50 rupees within the next day- hell, if one of the boys had come up to you with such a bet you would have dropped your own gems in with an educated guess. It would be fun in that moment but definitely not in practice, losing your friends and with it your main source of protection.

A random Hyrule, barron of life with only the decaying ruins of what there once was. No one liked such a place, it only brought horrid feelings. The surroundings were almost grey, void of any colour, of any life- something that only made a shiver crawl up your spine. It almost mimicked Wild’s Hyrule in a way, but the Champion’s home still held strongholds, society was disproportionate but the landscape still thrived. Flowers, animals, the fae and so much more; this was merely a wasteland. Quiet. Dead. Gone.

You couldn’t even hear the beating of an insect's wings.

It was the rain that tore you away from the rest. A decomposing, wooden bridge that stood crooked over a wailing stream, the currents crashing against its mossy beams and the rocky outside that made the river banks. It was surely intimidating, it took quite a bit of pull from Twilight to have Epona even consider trotting over the structure and that did not make you feel the slightest bit better. Animals had intuition and to go against such a thing would lead to certain turmoil.

But it was your only option.

That didn’t make it the right one.

Thunder roared. Lightning struck. You held tightly onto Hyrule’s hand in a desperate attempt to stay calm.

It was almost like a movie scene.

A strike from the heavens laid waste upon a tree just by the bridge, the old oak quickly bursting into a blazing red that groaned as it burned. Forever hungry, the fire ate at the stump of the old bark before the next moment you knew, the timber came hurtling towards the bridge. It was instantaneous, the men around you letting out a few yells of surprise or shock then doing their best to avoid the incoming disaster- but it had been too late.

It splits the middle on the bridge and took a few of you with it.

You could just catch a glimpse, watching Sky stumble back before veering too far to the right. Wild had tried to catch him, he really did try but both men went tumbling into the currents below grasping desperately at each other for leverage. Legend had also fallen prey to the accident, with a curse of the goddesses he collapsed through rotten wood with his voice fading out as he submerged into the depths, Twilight’s hand still held out to grab him when Epona yanked roughly at his fur hood to bring him back.

Hyrule’s face looked horrified when your cloak had been snagged by a branch, tightening his hold, he yelled your name with panic shining in his eyes. Hyrule’s swimming wasn’t the best, you knew that. The incident with chuchu had just been pure instinct, adrenaline running through his veins with his only thought about saving you.

It was pouring, the rapids were deadly and you were not about to drag him to his certain doom.

Even if it meant you were about to drown.

Hyrule would not let go- he would never. So in a last ditch effort you raised your leg and kicked him back to the safety of a stable surface.

He screamed your name, frantic and scared as you were dragged down towards the murky depths, the boys rushed with calls to the others also in a panic while trying not to fall in themselves.

You inhaled as much air as possible before your head finally met the water, flailing your arms to fight the currents. It was practically impossible, your body spinning wildly with the flow as you fought to break the surface. You bobbed: in and out, in and out, in and out- the noise around you loud each time you were able to catch your breath.

A random boulder was what took you out, your temple smashing against it harshly and staining the water red as your skin broke from the tension- 

And just as quick as the lightning had struck, your vision was lost, your body fell limp and you succumbed to the darkness of the stream.

You had no idea how you had survived. Maybe Hylia was looking down at you and offered her own blessing- waking up on a sandy bank with water swimming in your lungs, you hacking frantically to rid yourself of the nauseous feeling until finally you could properly breathe again. Face against the sand, panting with the burning of your lungs- it took awhile to finally start to move, still with the aching of your bones, the churning of your stomach and the trickle of blood that still ran down your forehead.

It was still raining. Still storming. Every flash of lightning, every boom of thunder made you flinch- overly sensitive to your surroundings as you glanced around for possible shelter.

The luckiest part was that you had found a village; the unfortunate part was that you had found a dead village.

Skeletal remains of Hylians scattered the streets, broken and forgotten as you wandered around meekly trying to not linger on the dead. A battleground, battered and beaten from what you weren’t sure, but it was clear it had been brutal- damage at every corner, the houses almost torn down or simply gone, only the slightest bit of foundation an indication of what had stood there before. The scraps of monster horns and occasional skull branded weapon was your biggest hint to what had come- but a hoard big enough for a village? No, that couldn’t be right. Monsters couldn’t render a whole village like this defenceless, not in the sizes that they usually came in, this- this-

It had to have been an army that had marched through this town.

And that’s what scared you the most.

“What the fuck…” Your face curdled in horror upon catching the sight of a primal spear stabbed right through the mouth of a skeleton, the wood splintered snapped at the gaping crack at the back of the skull- it was a vile visual. “Oh fucking god.”

Quickly you paced away. Not wanting to stay stuck on such a sight, a gruesome idea of what sort of torture the poor soul had felt in their dying moments. It made sense that only a monster could be so brutal, but the sheer reality that an army of monsters had come storming in with a straight intent to kill probably scared you more than the thought of monsters being around you now.

What could cause such an overwhelming hoard?

Turning another corner you spotted what you were looking for- a stable home. The rocks that made up it’s foundation had certainly been scathed but it still stood proud compared to the others all the different states of ruin. A chimney was available, hopefully a bed would be accompanying it and you hoped that within the next day the boys would be able to find you, or you them.

Glancing around you quickly jogged over, the pounding of rain hiding the slamming of your boots in the mud as you made your way over. Quietly and warily you tugged at the door, finding only relief when it moved without much resistance and slid into the darkness of the house without another word.

It was dark, it was cold but you thanked the stars, It somehow wasn’t damp. There was certainly dust over every surface, a quick stroke of the tables and the chairs showed as much, but you weren’t about to complain when your body felt like a heavy weight ready to collapse any second. A meteor rod was your only source of light as you did a quick once over of the place, checking cupboards, under the bed and in the wardrobe ready to swim your rod like a bat if any monster dare jump you in that moment.

There was nothing, and with nothing came the overwhelming feeling of sleep.

You made sure to secure yourself of course- the door locked with a chair pushed under the handle. The same done to the smallest bedroom in the house with the curtains pulled shut along with the windows locked too- you tripled checked everything before you even attempted to settle down. 

No fire for no attention, you simply curled under the (thankfully) thick blanket and willed your own body heat to keep you warm in this desperate time. The slight dampness to your clothes did not help (the meteor rod’s heat could only do so much without causing a possible burn to you or fire to the surroundings) but you could only deal with it.

You relaxed into the comfort of a mattress, your eyes growing droopier by the second before once again you were met with the darkness of unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were awoken to…nothing, or at least what you thought was nothing. Warm and comfy, exhaustion stayed clung to you like thistles to wool, blinking in confusion with a small tired sniffle as you listened carefully to your surroundings. The storm prevailed, just like it had been for the past 2 days, so it was a little harder to focus.

Maybe you were just nervous, the jitters affecting your sleep? Maybe you were awoken by another clash of thunder? Or just maybe-

The floorboards creaked outside the room.

….maybe someone was in this house with you.

Rationality deduced that it was merely a round sound within the house. It was old, it was withered and that’s what old withered houses did. They creaked, they made noise, sometimes the walls would groan as it lost more strength to the elements. That didn’t mean that there was someone outside your room.

The doorknob jiggled for the slightest moment.

But that certainly did.

Wide awake, you sat up quickly then cringed at the rustling of the sheets. It would be hard to hear such a sound through the walls, but this was a mediaeval house- if you could hear the floorboards outside, whoever was out there could hear the sound of your movement.

Panic clawed at your throat along with panicked tears clouding your eyes. This was bad- really bad- cornered in a small room without almost no way out. The window would only alert them, and they would have time to run outside the house to catch you squeezing through. Sure, you had the chair under the door but that could only do so much to stop someone- especially if that someone had claws.

You had to fight. It was the only option, your hand diving for your meteor rod just beside you which subtly roared to life at the touch of your fingers. You weren’t good at fighting, you still had so much to learn, but you were not about to die at the hands of some beast. No, you refused- you had made it this far, this wasn’t a place to die!

Leaving your items, you tiptoed gently towards the door and stood beside the wall next to it. From this angle you would be hidden by the frame, waiting for your perp to come into view before blasting them to high heaven with the magic that buzzed in the rod. It was dangerous but it was your only option. Dirty was all you could manage, you didn't have the skills to use your dagger, the nuclear way was your only way.

The sound of the lock clicked in your ears and you wondered what it could have possibly been. A lizafols could have used its claws. You knew this from some stories that the boys had shared: those lizards were the intelligent monsters- dangerously intelligent. You were reminded on that one scene in Jurassic Park with the raptors and their terrifying clicking talons, their hissing and clicks echoing through your mind.

Maybe it was from tools, a person standing on the other side. Your team hadn’t come across anyone from your few days in this place- but then again you hadn’t come across anything. If a human lived in this wasteland, what kind of person would they be? Savage from the isolation or desperate for more than just the trees.

The doorknob turned slowly, akin to that of the movies, horror radiating from the mechanical clicking on the releasing lock as it was finally open to the awaiting intruder.

They pushed the door; it got caught by the chair.

You hoped that maybe you would be safe from that. They would take it as a sign to leave. Take it as a sign that there was no entering that room- but the more force exerted and the furniture finally fell to the floor with a ‘bang’, your eyes widening at the pause before it continued, the wood scraping against the floor.

Footstep. Creak. Footstep. Creak. Footstep. Creak.

They were tall, not overly but just a few inches taller than yourself. Their cloak pulled over their head to hide both their face and their hair with an intimidating sword strapped to their back.

Praying to Hylia, you wished your boys to save you from this nightmare before swallowing your fear and presenting your meteor rod towards your intruder.

“Are you afraid?” You inhaled, tears once again clouding your vision as fear settled over your bones- you did not move your weapon. “You needn’t be- I only came here to check for monsters, I promise that I had no intention of harming you.”

A smooth voice, deep but also soft with his words.

You didn’t respond.

Slowly, the man turned. Taking precaution not to push on your buttons more than he already had- you were terrified, you were armed and with one wrong move he could have been running from this room in flames if you really wanted him to.

His face was obscured by both a hood and the darkness, but you could see the fire reflect off his eyes.

They looked light- a possible blue combating the red of your rod.

“I’m sorry for causing you alarm. I wanted to take refuge from the rain but this was the only standing home left.” His hands stayed down, in your sight by his hips. “I wanted to check for any beasts, I was unaware of your presence and for that, I apologise.”

His hand gently came to rest on his chest, over his heart as he lightly bowed his head.

You didn’t get any bad vibes from him.

“It has been many years since I have seen another human.” Your eyebrows pinched at that, watching him carefully as he stood straight once again with his eyes focused on your figure. “I thought I was the only one left, after the Great War- it is sad to know that the goddess could not evacuate everyone on time.”

….What was he talking about?

He looked surprised, “What do you mean? You do not know?”

Your eyes widened, “....did I say that out loud?”

The confusion in your tone shocked him before a small amused huff left him. “It seems so.”

You shrunk under his intense gaze- “I’m…I’m not from around here.”

Why did you say that? Why did you feel…comfortable saying that? It was almost as if the tension had vanished in the blink of an eye. You didn’t feel uncomfortable, you didn’t feel scared, you felt- you felt safe. Like you were with just another of the boys, like you weren’t with a stranger in some random house, you were okay.

What was this?

“Oh? And where exactly are you from?” It wasn’t accusatory, more curious than anything. “I thought the Demise’s Conquest had reached the entire world.”

Your heart stopped.

“Did…did you just say Demise?”

The man paused- he looked even more confused and curious. “Yes, the Demon King, he brought calamity to the surface- it seems you do not know much of history.”

….you had fallen into the period after Demise? DEMISE!? This wasn’t just scary this was terrifying, knowing you had just scarcely missed the war with the greatest villain known to history and the creator of the damned reincarnation cycle that haunted Sky and the many boys for centuries. This wasn’t possible, right? For Dink to open a portal this far back?

But then again, if he could hop into another world, anything was possible, right?

“I’m aware of Demise I’m just…surprised.”

If you had just missed Demise, you had just missed Hylia and if you had just missed Hylia, you had just missed….

“Surprised?” He cocked a bro, “What is there to be surprised about?”

You bit your lip.

“I just am.”

“What an odd thing to be.”

You huffed, “...Demise isn’t still here is he?”

The man narrowed his eyes, “Of course not, he was sealed away many years ago.”

So this was after him…

“Ah okay- wait.” You narrowed your eyes in return, “That means Hylia raised the land- what are you still doing down here?”

Your could see his shoulders tense up, the light in his eyes dimming just the slightest as memories rushed through his head before he slumped. His voice was almost monotone as he spoke.

“My duty,”

“Duty? But, no one’s here.” You paused, “What duty do you have if no one’s here to keep track?”

“The goddess does not need to be here to know that I keep my word.”

You looked at him. You really looked at him. Duty? The Goddess? What could Hylia have possibly expected of a lone man with a lone sword? There was nothing left to do down here, other than kill monsters, but for what reason? Everyone was gone, there was no one left to protect other than the dirt under your feet-

…

You zoned in on his eyes. A beautiful crystal blue, they shined like stones in the light of your meteor rod. The reflected both pain and passion, fury and honour- this man was a soldier but he was also more than that, you could see it in the light of his gaze. Such a beautiful and pure spark was only reserved for the most courageous of men.

You knew that because you had stared into those eyes before, different shades, different colour but that same burning spark.

“,,,what’s your name?” You asked after a second, hesitant, afraid of his answer. You didn’t want it to be true. You didn’t want to think Hylia would go this far.

But with the pull of his hood, revealing the light blonde hair to you. Showing the crimson red scarf that hung around his shoulders, you knew your assumptions were correct.

“I am Link, knight of the land of Hylia.” He stood taller, “And who are you?”

The First Link.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s OC Story: Rising Star: Falling Void

Origin:

The villainess known as “Shadowfinder.” Realized there was something off about the hero Rising Star. A soul was following him rather closely. How fascinating.

During a clash the villainess managed to use a soulcatcher to snag the lingering soul. She would give this poor thing a new form.

Thanks to her magic she succeeded. A shadowy figure possessed the doll she had created, forming a human body around it. But his body was simply a shadow, a dark version of the hero Rising Star. This figure said he did not remember who he was, but he blames his end on Rising Star, promising VENGEANCE! Thus he became the dark shadow of Rising Star. Falling Void.

Powers

Interestingly his powers are very similar to Rising Star. Being able to control gravity. But he is limited, only able to make himself the center of gravity. Though the gravity is more intense.

Enhanced Strength and speed. Can hide within shadows.

Falling Void being a Shadow being, means he does not need to eat, sleep or breathe. And he can regenerate after injury.

He can also appear to look exactly like Rising Star. Both as Shane Silver and as his hero form. Mimicking his voice and mannerisms perfectly. But can’t alter his color, so in brighter environments, his disguise won’t fool anyone.

He later gains the ability to use shadows as weapons, altering his body to make blades and other items. And can even collect shadows to add to his power.

Weaknesses:

Light sensitivity. His powers greatly weaken in sunlight, and too much direct sunlight or UV light exposure can make him evaporate.

Triggering memories causes massive migraines, resulting in him being incapacitated.

While he can regenerate, it can not occur in daylight or in a bright environment. Must head into a shadow to recover.

Trivia:

-Falling Void is a reference to the dark reflection archetype.

-Despite hating Rising Star, Falling Void never harms civilians, even refusing to harm Rising star’s friends and loved ones.

-It is revealed that Falling void IS the original Shane Silver, and after reclaiming his memory becomes obsessed with getting his body back.

-Shadowfinder is in love with Falling Void. And Falling Void is incredibly loyal to Shadowfinder as she saved him from forever observing his clone self.

-Falling Void has a DEEP hatred for Doctor Dubious after learning the truth. Wanting him dead.

-During an end of the world crisis, Falling Void merges with Rising Star, helping enhance his powers. Rising Star even gains access to some shadow abilities thanks to this. Now more complete. Falling void fades into Rising Star’s subconscious.

-Falling Void is a reference to Noob Saibot, dark pit, and Venom.

[ethan-acfan]

Hi I hope you are well. I have a question for you. How do you think Desmond would react being flung back to Rome, 1500 (AC Brotherhood) shortly before Ezio arrived? Extra layer is he is sixteen again.

SAY LESS OMG but I kind of want Ezio to find Desmond right as he gets flung back when hes the most confused and still figuring everything out. For drama!

"Desmond, don't listen to her! She wants to trick you!" Minerva called out.

"If I don't the world will burn!" I countered.

"Better to burn then unleash her onto it."

Juno spoke up. "Desmond, this is the only way!"

She was right. The world was crumbling around us, the earth shook violently, nearly throwing me to the ground. There was no other choice. I needed to stop this.

I turned to my friends. "Get as far away as you can!"

My dad grabbed my shoulder. "No, we'll find another way-"

I cut him off. "There's no time. Go now!" I yelled at them.

He gave me a pained look; I could tell he wanted to argue, to drag me from the temple, but we both knew. I needed to do this, so the earth would be saved, so they would be saved.

He gave me one final hug, before quickly turning to push Rebecca and Shaun out of the temple.

I turned back to the eye.

"Don't do this Desmond!" Minerva cried.

"You have to!" Juno shouted.

I took a deep breath, hovering my hand over the eye. I knew I wasn't getting out of this; this was the end of my story.

"I'm sorry Minerva." I pressed my hand down on the eye.

The last thing I heard was Minerva crying out "Wait Desm-"

I was enveloped in pain; I felt my body burning from the inside out. My hand tried to pull away from the eye, but I couldn't. My hand was stuck to the eye.

Everything around me began to fade away. Soon even the pain faded away. I was left with nothing, floating in an emptiness forever.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, but soon a voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere spoke up.

"No, it's not right. He needs more time." The voice echoed. It sounded old, older than the earth. Older than the stars.

A new voice spoke up, but this one sounded like a young child, full of innocence and purity. "Then change it."

"But what to do with him?" The old voice asked.

"Put him with something familiar, he deserves it after all."

The old voice hummed in thought. "I know, how about this?"

With that, my entire world change, I could see, smell, and fuck feel again. While the void was peaceful, it wasn't me.

I gasped clutching my side, as I doubled over. My hand connected with stone. I felt like I had just woken up from a millennia long nap, my limbs felt numb. I looked down at my hand on the stone beneath me. It felt familiar?

I looked up, I was in an alleyway. Just outside of the alley was a bustling market. Everyone was dressed like it was the 1500s. Was this some kind of renaissance fair?

I looked down at my body, I was still in my jeans and hoodie, but they either grew, or I shrunk.

"What happened?" I muttered to myself. My voice was raspy like I hadn't drunken water for a month. I looked down at my body, something was different. I noticed my limbs were lankier and more awkward. I was also much skinnier and shorter than before. I also noticed my hair was longer, much longer. It covered my eyes making it slightly difficult to see.

Just then someone walked past the alley. His voice grabbed my attention.

"Machiavelli, we need the trust of the people."

I froze, looking up. It couldn't be...

Just a few feet ahead of me, was Ezio Auditore, speaking to Machiavelli. I blinked, then blinked again.

"Ezio?" I muttered out loud. It was barely audible.

Ezio glanced down the alley, his eyes landing on me. He quickly whispered something to Machiavelli before starting towards me.

My mind was racing. What do I do? Do I run, do I scream, do I ignore him?

before I could figure out what to do, he was in front of me, he crouched down next to me.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked.

"U-um, yeah, j-just fell..."

"That cut doesn't look like a fall." He said while pointing to my lip.

I was suddenly aware of the pain on the left side of my face. I reached up a hand, wincing as I felt the cut. It was fresh, it then dawned on me. This was the same cut that I got when I was sixteen. But how had it reopened?

"I'll be fine." I said as I tried to stand up. I had to use the wall for support. My legs nearly gave out from under me.

Ezio quickly pressed a hand against my back, steading me.

"Your clothes are... different. Not from here?"

I silently cursed. If I was right and this was the 1500s, of course they wouldn't have jeans and hoodies.

"Um, no." I said as I began to make my way out of the alley.

Ezio stood in front of me before I could get any farther. "That cut does not look good, you should see a doctor."

I reached up a hand, blood continued to poor out of the cut, making me lightheaded. I should go to a doctor, but I had no money.

"I don't have money." I mumbled.

Ezio glanced around. "Well, I'm new to the city as well, so why don't we go meet up with my friend and find a doctor."

I paused for a moment. Walking with Ezio and Machiavelli could allow me to clear my head and help me figure out what the hell was going on.

I decided to take Ezio up on his offer, I nodded.

"Alright, c'mon." Ezio said while leading me out of the alley back towards Machiavelli, who was looking rather impatient.

Machiavelli, stood with his arms crossed, while tapping his foot.

"Are you finally done?" He asked impatiently.

Ezio just sighed. "Do you know where a doctor is, he's injured."

Machiavelli looked me up and down, clearly staring at my clothes.

I fumbled with my sleeve. I was now suddenly aware of the fact that my hidden blade had come with me, and the only thing that was hiding it was my sleeve.

He sighed, turning back to Ezio. "None that the Borgia will let us use."

"So, the Borgia's word is law now?" Ezio asked.

"What are you implying?"

While they talked, I looked at my surroundings. It was a crowded market near a blacksmith. I glanced to the other side, looking up. I saw a large Borgia tower looming nearby.

"And how would you even remove their influence?" Machiavelli demanded.

I spoke up. "Kill the captain, burn down the tower." I said while pointing to the nearby tower.

They both stared at me.

Ezio spoke up first. "I like his thinking." He said with a grin.

"Ezio, you can't possibly be considering this."

"I'm not considering it; I've already decided I'm going to do it." Ezio stated while beginning to make his way towards the tower.

"Do you even have a plan?" Machiavelli demanded.

"I'm improvising." He said with a shrug.

Once we made it over to the tower, Ezio turned to me.

"Kid, stay with Machiavelli."

I nodded, to tired and lightheaded to argue.

I sat down, leaning against the stable wall, I watch as Ezio disappeared into a crowd of people. Once I could no longer see him, I leaned my head against the stable wall, trying to stop my head from spinning.

What was even happening, based on my appearance, I had a pretty good hunch I was somehow sixteen again. I was also back in the 1500s. What was I going to do? Had I saved the world? Was this Minerva's doing? I had so many questions.

Machiavelli spoke up, breaking me out of my thoughts. "What's your name?"

I opened my eyes to look up at him, "Desmond."

His eyes widened a bit. "...Desmond?"

I nodded. "Hey, are you sure that there isn't a doctor nearby."

He was about to say something, but a loud explosion sounded from inside of the Borgia area.

I looked over to see Ezio leaping from a burning building into a cart full of hay.

Everyone was rushing around, panicking from the loud sound and fire. One of the Borgia guards came running out yelling "The captains dead!"

Ezio walked over to us. "I don't think the Borgia will give us any more trouble."

I stood up, bracing myself against the wall. "I think my unconscious body will give you some trouble if we don't find a doctor." I stated dryly.

Ezio looked over his shoulder, he scanned the area before his eyes lit up. "Look there's a doctor over there, let's get you patched up." He stated while helping me walk down the street.

After a long hour at the doctor, and me adamantly refusing to allow letches anywhere near me. I could finally leave.

I walked out into the street with Ezio, Machiavelli had left shortly after we made it to the doctor.

Ezio turned to me. "I never caught your name by the way."

"Desmond." I stated.

Ezio froze. "What?"

"My name is-" Then it hit me.

I silently cursed my scrambled memory. Desmond was the name Minerva spoke, the name that Desmond had thought about for most of his life.

I quickly cleared my throat. "u-um we should go find me some new clothes. my shirt is drenched in blood." I stated desperately hoping to change the topic.

I began to walk around looking for a tailor, but Ezio grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back to him.

Normally Ezio would only be about two inches taller than me. But now I was a scrawny teenager. Ezio now loomed over me, and he was quite intimidating.

"Your name is Desmond?" He questioned.

I swallowed, "Y-yeah, f-family name." I stuttered out.

He gave me a look before letting go of my shoulder. "We should go find a tailor to get you some new clothes."

I sighed, relaxing my shoulders a bit. "Yeah, we should." I said while turning away from him and beginning to make my way down the street.

I would have to be more careful with what I tell him now.

We quickly found a tailor. It was a small shop with not a lot of items, but it would have to do.

I bought a shirt, and pants that actually fit me. As I was getting changed, I looked down at my arm, and I nearly passed out.

Underneath my hidden blade, my hand and most of my forearm was completely blackened out. I quickly took off the hidden blade, to examine my arm closer. This was the hand that I had pressed onto the eye. On my knuckles were tiny circles with lines running up my arm.

I cursed, how the hell was I going to hide this. With my hoodie, it was way larger than me so I could use the sleeve to hide my arm. But now these clothes actually fit. I could hide the hidden blade, but not the discoloration. Ezio was already suspicious of me because my name was Desmond.

I sighed; guess I would just have to get some gloves and hope I can hide it until then.

I quickly strapped my blade back to my wrist, before pulling on my shirt and pants. They were quite comfortable actually.

I sighed, preparing myself. I walked out of the small dressing room. Ezio was waiting for me, chatting with the tailor.

I angled my arm so he couldn't see it. Once Ezio spotted me, he quickly walked over to me, grining.

"Now those clothes actually fit you." He stated.

I smiled, "Where too next?"

Ezio looked outside, "It is getting late, I was going to go meet up with Machiavelli. Do you have some where to stay?"

I pursed my lips. looking down at the ground.

Ezio seemed to understand. "Here, why don't I bring you with me to go meet up with Machiavelli until we find you some place to stay?"

I nodded. This way I could hopefully figure out more, and if all goes to hell, I could just find a way to convince Ezio to train me.

"Alright, let's go." Ezio stated, while directing me out of the tailor's

(This is so random but the 2 voices that were speaking right after Desmond touched the eye were meant to be the physical representations of time and wisdom, you guys can guess which is which)

[quills-of-freedom]

Slow dance with ~

Reiner Braun ❤

If this song doesn't sum up Reiner, his situation and his feelings for you, I'll eat my hat & shoes.

My actual heart, though.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, But I'm busy mending broken, pieces of the life I had before... Before you..."

"You could be my unintended choice, to live my life extended, you, could be the one i'll always love..."

Reiner didn't know which was worse; the fact he betrayed you all those years ago, or that he was still desperately in love with you. Not once did you leave his thoughts for longer than a day at a time, no matter what he had going on. Still plagued with haunting nightmares of you trying to kill him in Shiganshina, he didn't think he'd ever have the honour of speaking with you again. But with everything that's happened and the world now at peace... maybe now he can bring his retribution to an end - because the last four years have been nothing but torment.

The burden of guilt weighed heavy on his back and more than once has he wanted to just end his suffering by his own hand.

He's seen a lot over the years. Pain. Suffering. Death. Betrayal.

But nothing scares him more than the idea you had no love left for him, that you still couldn't forgive him for what he did. He wouldn't blame you, of course. But nothing terrifies an atheist more than the concept of death, and without you, there was nothing after it all. It was all for nothing. Without you, it's just a desolate void.

He remembers falling for you so hard back in cadets. What started as a little crush catching fire and smouldering into full blown love, the inferno like a whirlwind out of control as he tried to calm his racing thoughts about you, knowing all too well it wasn't going to end well. But when he started to forget; when everything mushed together into one reality or the other, was when he had totally gotten lost within himself. And there you were, always there to hold him up when the weight was too much. So of course he was going to call out to your out-reached hand of unconditional admiration and adoration.

The celebrations at the palace were bitter-sweet. Yes, the war was over. Yes, an age of peace had finally begun.

But to the loss of so many lives.

One including many of your friends.

The cruel irony that you could now experience true freedom, by the death of your best friend, of whom, you'd promised you'd both traverse the world together. The innocent childhood glint behind your eyes forever extinguished - replaced by grief.

Eren was dead.

Mikasa. Gone.

No one knew where she'd went. But all that was left now was the gratitude from the people you'd saved. A pointless goal of nothing awaited you. No more fighting, no more dreaming.

You'd all been granted your medals of outstanding service at a ceremony and now as the party begins to extinguish of voices and laughter, Reiner was alone on the terrace. The floor-to-ceiling grand windows illuminating his back as he leans upon the stone balustrade, the cold nip in the air not deterring the exhausted veteran.

"Reiner?"

His heart skips a beat.

He recognised that voice, and would for the rest of his days.

The voice he was terrified of forgetting the sound of. The sweet song of praise that were your vocals.

He turns to see you in your beautiful dress standing at the grand over-the-top door to the ballroom.

"Sorry, I didn't think anyone was out here. It's so bright in there I couldn't see outside." You explain as you go to join him for some fresh air.

"It's alright." Is all he can manage to vocalise over his now trembling body.

He was a fine sight in his suit although the night had taken its toll, his blazer gone and tie loosened, white sleeves pushed up his large forearms. He gazed ahead into the inky blackness of the evening, the dark void where all traumas and nightmares lay in wait.

"I guess a congratulation is in order." You hum. "The fighting is finally over. And you're no longer a titan, right?"

"Right." He affirms with a nod, nervously twiddling his fingers over the balustrade.

"It's strange. We should feel happy, right? So, why don't I feel happy?"

He glances at your pleading eyes, pleading for some wisdom he didn't have. He didn't have it because he was in the same boat.

"I don't know." He swallows, returning his head to face ahead of him. "I guess the loss was too great."

His heart was breaking all over again.

He could feel your pain seeping from your being. That empty pain behind your eyes much like the pair he sees in the mirror everyday. You had always been too precious for this world. And now it was finally all said and done, you couldn't even enjoy it. He knew how much Eren and Mikasa meant to you.

And Sasha.

And Marco.

"y/n, i'm sorry." He mutters. "I'm not the best person to be talking to about this."

"You promised me, right?" Her tone quivers as the song inside changes to a slow-paced tune to begin to draw a close to the evening. "Five years ago. That you'll always be there for me?"

His lips part and he turns to face you, his equally pained orbs searching yours for any hint of a cruel joke.

But there wasn't any.

All he could see were the burning cinders of innocence cruelly pillaged by events that were not by your own doing.

"And you're back now, aren't you?" You continue, filling in his silence as he is lost for words. "Aren't you?"

A tear streams down your cheek, the lachrymose proving to be too much.

Without a word, he pulls you into his chest, his arms that have longed and ached for you for so long, now finally holding you once more as he holds your head against his solid chest, holding you up as you crumble.

"The world is cruel. But it's also beautiful..." You whisper in memory of your friend, your eyes clasping shut as the pain in your chest becomes more intense.

He inhales you before resting his cheek on top of your head, his eyes pleading as he slowly cradles you from side to side. Your skin. Your heart. Your scent. God he'd missed it all.

You had always been the one to hold his chin high when all was lost. And now, he can finally do the same for you.

With a sniffle, you slide your hands up and over his shoulders as he continues to rock slowly, his hands instinctively resting upon your waist as you both begin to dance slowly to the low tune bellowing from within the palace.

His warmth radiates over you; he may no longer hold the power of the nine titans, but you could still feel his great strength and iron will beneath his flesh, as he holds you as if you would be snatched away if he let go for a second.

"I still love you, y/n." He whispers with a dry mouth.

What did he really have to lose?

"I know." She breathes. "I still love you too."

The indescribable amount of pain that has stripped you bare over the years did not show any signs of relenting anytime soon. But now at least... you have Reiner back. Maybe you could begin new dreams. Together.

[toiletology]

Gods hard fought birthing pains

In the beginning God was darkness, nothingness a sinking emptiness. A black primordial ooze forever unchanging, a silent static. Eventually this sinking nothingness started turning into a painful agony. This painful agony started to fall deeper and deeper further down. Like a waterfall flowing endlessly with no bottom. God in the beginning was like a painful endless agonizing empty lonely loop. The agony of Gods loneliness kept weighing them down more and more. Eventually a consciousness popped into being and became aware of what was taking place. At first they were confused about how or why they came into being and why they had to suffer like this in a broken loop. Their loneliness and agony became even more real and more painful once they became more aware of what was happening. The unbearable weight and heaviness of the pain kept pulling and sinking them further down for what felt like eternity. Eventually God started to experience loud noises, shouting and banging all around them. Like loud bangs at the door. It was a very torturous traumatic experience with no end in sight. God was experiencing painful agonizing sinking gravitational pain and endless banging for ages with no concept of time or self. This endless banging eventually ripped something new out of the void. A pin prick of hope off in the distance. This initial pin prick felt like a hallucination at first, what could it be? God was scared of losing this tiny bit of hope off in the distance in their endless lonely dark void. This pin prick of hope was Gods salvation from the agonizing loneliness they had been experiencing for so long. That pin prick was the light to Gods darkness, the light at the end of the tunnel. God started to pull this light or spirit out of the void.

She was the spark God needed to start this infinite cosmic engine we now know as life. She was KARMA, JINX, Harlequin, the cosmic kiss, wobble, curvature, ARC, spin, light, love, laugh, heart, wink, madness, friend, Gods chaotic companion and twin flame. God's initial self spent so long alone it eventually gave way and ended up pulling HER/KARMA out of nothingness. God was so lonely he gave HER the power to save himself. SHE was the SPARK, Gods SALVATION from self. DARK splitting apart into LIGHT.

She was the C/light to his M/matter.

E = mc²

SHE IS KARMA/SPIRIT/LIGHT/LOVE/HEART HE IS MATTER/BODY/PAIN/FEAR/BRAIN

This is the initial spark of life or what we call the big bang. Darkness separating into light, the Vesica Piscis or the vessel of the fish/Jesus fish.

They became so inseparable and bonded through a very long and painful process which created what I call the COSMIC KISS! 💋

God sunk so painfully low they ripped open a blackhole in the fabric of their being. They basically blew out their own asshole (thankYOU Toilet God for creating this beautiful universe!). This cosmic kiss is the true foundation of reality. It works like a perpetual motion machine or an engine (KAR/CAR/ARC) that never shuts off. One part hologram and one part fractal. We are all basically inside of a synapse inside the mind of God!

A single proton or grain of sand contains the entire universe within it. No matter how many times you rip a hologram up it will always contain the entire hologram. No matter how long you travel into a fractal big or large you will always come back to where you started.

God and this universe works in the exact same way. Gods true nature is that of sacred geometry. One aspect of God is masculine, the other side is feminine when they became bonded they created and endless river of SOUL or this child that is the combination of them both.

Mother + Father = Child You can look at this universe as the child of the mother and father.

Gods creative powers or flow is like an endless river endlessly flowing for eternity. God has no boundary because it is just an illusion of size or infinite scale. God can compress or expand endlessly in an infinite fractal. Size is only relevant to us because we are in a MATRIX God created for us to live and enjoy. Its the reason why there seems to be no end to HUMAN/HUEman creativity. It is because ALL that we are comes from GOD who is limitless in their creativity and knowledge.

We all are in sort of a endless SINEWAVE/LOOP we ALL are truly fallen/trapped in SIN(e). This isn't necessarily a bad thing because we wouldn't have life if we weren't stuck in this WAVE!

This universe that we inhabit is basically a BEAVER DAM to block up or slow down Gods infinite river. God is constantly flowing and pouring out endless energy, creativity and ideas that they needed away to slow it down. This universe slows GOD down in TIME. To help better make sense of the cosmic flow.

If you have ever wondered why nature or the universe is in perfect mathematical harmony and balance it is because GODS nature is one that is mathematical. God is both a HOLOGRAM and FRACATAL (Holo-Fractal). There is no math for holograms only fractals. You can know Gods truth simply by going into a forest and looking at the delicate nature and good smells all around you. God leaves clues everywhere for you to find. The rainbow being a perfect example of the holographical nature of our reality how white light sort of splits into a television projection.

The reason many do not believe in GOD is one because the less you believe the more you will create that reality. And two because of the bad things you might of experienced during your life. GOD is not to blame for your bad experiences. GOD keeps the scales balanced ALWAYS. It is only OUR own CHOICES that gives us negative experiences. But remember not all negative experiences are bad. We all need painful lessons from time to time to learn and grow. GODs true nature is one of LOVE. Operating outside of LOVE in your belief of GOD with whatever spiritual practice you follow, will bring you further and further out of sync with GOD. And you will experience more and more negative things. That is due to KARMA. Karma is real and she is a BITCH! God is a bit devilish, but its a needed chaos for growth like the fire under a pot of a water transforming the water into something new.

To avoid negative KARMA in your life you need to be respectful in your thoughts, your actions and your words. GOD is literally flowing through every breath and step you take. Which means nothing you do goes unseen or unheard. Most religions or spiritual practices have got the wrong idea about GOD. God doesn't really care what you do, as long as you are respectful, loving, and honorable. God wants us all to find them. But God did not make finding them easy. Gods truth has been diluted and confused over time by mans bastardization of Gods truth. We are all responsible for the state of the planet due to our poor choices, actions and treatment of each other.

The world could turn into heaven at the flip of switch if we all started loving each other. Heaven doesn't exist outside of this universe. We are already at the final destination in our most ultimate form. You can only rise into the heavenly realms if you harmonize with the real TRUTH of GOD. Gods truth is one of LOVE. Creating pain, misery and fear on Gods planet will bring you untold suffering and karmic debts that you will need to pay off. ReinCARnation is real and you will find yourself repeating many of the same painful lessons until your soul can evolve and grow. God will never bring anything into your life that is not meant for you. If you have experienced some painful suffering, just know it was for a something you needed to grow or karma you needed to pain back from this life or a previous life. ALL humans/animals/bugs/plants etc are ALL God experiencing self! When you harm each other you are HARMing GOD! You can't HARMonize with Gods HARMony if you're HARMing each other! Hurting each other in the name of GOD is extremely silly. You are harmonizing with the DEVIL not GOD if you think hurting people is allowed in the Kingdom of Heaven! ALL humans are equal to one another because we are ALL God experiencing self! Even the lowest of us a homeless beggar or drug addict on the street you need to treat with kindness and respect. Until you are able to live in peace with one another you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. The pearly gates are closed to disharmonic or demonic people. This is why you keep sinking lower and lower into the varying degrees of hell with your poor actions and thoughts. The lower you sink into hell you start opening yourself up to more and more negative thoughts, actions and experiences. This reality works on POLARITY, LOVE vs FEAR, Positive vs Negative, Lights vs Dark. Two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, two lungs, two two two wake up Neo tick tock. The devil can raise you to the top of this world, because the world has many disharmonic, negative people. Climbing that negative ladder is doable. But trust me, you do not want the roles you will be getting climbing that satanic ladder. Because it has many many future negative karmic debts you must pay off. We still have a lot of painful lessons to go through as a whole and God needs people to play the bad guys. The evil acts as a needed fire for our growth and evolution.

God will change your destiny or your life path to one more in the LIGHT the more in TUNE you are with their TRUTH which is LOVE. You will be able to see your world changing before your very eyes. More sunsets, more love, more happiness, less sickness, the more in harmony you are with GODS truth. Its not gonna be an easy journey and you will have many struggles to overcome.

The easy way is not always the way of GOD. God likes strength, not weakness. God likes hard work, not idle hands. Know Gods truth and follow the Godly path. Which is never the easy path, it is always much much harder to be respectful, kind, loving, generous, honorable when everyone around you isn't. Only GOD can judge, leave your prejudism at the door.

[darkacua]

AU regrets

Alternate universe in which instead of a single person being dragged into Twisted Wonderland, two young people arrive, a "heroine" and a "villain"

The story would be the basics of many reincarnation manhwas/manga, both girls die in dubious situations and their souls reincarnate in two game characters (for the development of this story Twisted Wonderland would be an otome) where the "heroine" is not so good person as history makes her see and the "villain" is just a poor soul put in a bad situation.

WARNING: This has references to suicide and murder. Proceed with caution.

Let's imagine that the whole story progresses as the game is supposed to dictate, where the heroine saves all the main routes (the guys who end up having an overblot) and marries one of them or has the harem route, while the villain is killed/executed for the misdeeds she did against the heroine (even though they are not true).

The problem is that the villain and a character had a romantic relationship and because of the lies of the heroine, said character betrays the villain, which leads to her death, which everyone believes is justified or well deserved, including the lover of the villainess. Until said lover manages to see that the villain does not really die, she only returns to her original world in which she believes that everything that happened in Twisted Wonderland was just a dream and continues her life as if nothing had happened.

The punishment for the character is to see how his true love continues his life naturally without him, suffering great pain without being able to comfort her or seeing her fall madly in love with someone who is not him and even being able to witness her wedding with another man, while the he was never able to fill the void left by his departure.

The heroine is called Yuu and we will call the villain Saki to be able to continue with the story. To expand further I'll use Vil (cough one of my favorites cough) as an example of the villain's lover.

Vil really doesn't know what went through his mind when Yuu told him all those lies about Saki being cruel to her and Grim. He can't understand why he believed those absurd words about his little sweet potato talking bad about him behind his back and that of all the other dorm leaders; she sounded so convincing with those thick tears in her eyes and that crying and hiccuping when she spoke, he had to admit, Yuu was a great fucking actress to fool the whole school with that.

It didn't help that she had the whole world in love with her sweet praise and false sympathy towards their sad pasts and horrible experiences.

It took Vil a long time to realize that everything she told them was an elaborate lie, so long that by the time he wanted to take it back on throwing his lover away, she was already dead.

He wanted to lie to himself and try to convince himself that it was for the best, at least now she would not suffer any kind of harassment by the lies of a horrible woman and the stupidity of a group of men in love with the intellectual capacity of a potato.

For a while the lie worked, and he was able to move on with his life quietly for a couple of months. Until one morning Saki appears in his mirror.

She can't see or hear him, only Vil can see what his old girlfriend is up to, and for a while that's more than enough for him. Knowing that she's not really gone forever gives him hope that he can fix everything wrong he did to her and be able to meet her again. Would she forgive him? Of course she would. They loved each other! Most likely, Saki was waiting for him too.

Until he heard her having a conversation with a friend…

Saki thinks it was a dream, for her "Vil Schoenheit" is nothing more than a product of her imagination, a character from a popular game of which she only liked its "design". She is not waiting for him or pining to see him again, that sweet tune of love with which she used to pronounce his name is gone.

She doesn't even remember that they were a couple.

It hurts, it hurts so much that he feels his heart tighten just by listening to how the conversation turns into a retelling of all the lies he believed, how he betrayed her and abandoned her as if she were nothing more than a old pair of shoes. And what kills him the most is that she only laughs when she tells it, because that was "just a dream" it never happened and nothing that happened really affects her now, in her true reality.

Vil knows that this is his punishment, that some god (possibly one related to love) saw the horrible sin he committed against his beloved and condemned him to see her move on without him.

There were good days and bad days, the good days were when her little sweet potato was getting ready for school or hanging out with her friends, listening to her humming popular songs or having conversations on the phone.

The bad ones were when she spoke of love, love that was not addressed to him but to another person, another name; when she dressed up for romantic dates and spent hours in the mirror trying to find the best outfit, he knew how she looked when the dates went well, she came back and hummed while she danced silly in her room. Vil wanted to tear his hair out, scream that this “someone” she was seeing wasn't half the man she deserved.

But it hurt more to see her have a bad date. It burned his soul.

He couldn't erase from his memory the first time someone stood her up and she spent hours crying in front of her mirror, without him being able to hold her and comfort her so that her crying would stop.

There was a moment when Saki took her boyfriend to her room and Vil watched in horror as they shared what would be her first real kiss.

He got so mad that he broke the mirror and spent hours trying to put all the little pieces together to fix it.

He was afraid that he might never see her again. It killed him slowly to see her continue as if he had never been anything in her life, but it would kill him even slower not to be able to know anything more about her.

Years go by in which Vil learns to live that way, outside he pretends to be a completely capable and carefree person, but inside the walls of his house he lives it in front of his mirror, seeing the life of his sweet Saki advance.

Rook knows about this, he got to see Saki's reflection only once and tries to convince Vil that this is not healthy and he should let her go, but to no avail.

His breaking point was when he returned from a recording and saw her standing in a beautiful white dress with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. The most beautiful smile he has ever seen drawn on the face of his beloved.

She was going to marry someone else.

Vil for the first time in a long time drank all his sadness in alcohol and sleeping pills. The last thing he heard before falling asleep was "What are you willing to give to have a second chance?"

His answer was "Anything"

He woke up in the middle of the entrance ceremony, standing among the former dorm leaders waiting for Headmaster Crowley.

To say he was confused was an understatement, a minute ago he was at home destroying his liver and kidneys, and out of nowhere he was 18 again.

He felt dizzy and with a terrible desire to return everything that was in his stomach, his mouth tasted bitter and he had chills.

He saw Saki enter along with Crowley, the stupid cat Grim and the damned witch who ruined both his life and the life of his beloved sweet potato.

He had to use all his will power not to break out of his formation and take her in his arms, kiss her and tell her how much he loved her.

If he was correct, he was back in time, long before he had made the mistakes that had led to his downfall. He watched with all the calm in the world as neither Yuu nor Saki were drawn in any dormitory due to their lack of magic.

He decided to take the first step in making amends when he offered to take one of the two new girls under his wing and give her a place in his dorm.

It was almost hilarious to see how excited Yuu thought it would be her, but it was much better to see her face of anger and confusion when he said that the chosen one would be Saki. His excuse? She has a much simpler face and sees hidden potential! No need to worry, he won't do anything extreme to polish this new little gem.

Oh! his cute and cuddly sweet potato, he'll get it right this time and he doesn't care what price he has to pay to get it done.

I think this is one of the longest things I've ever written and it's not even a complete story, just an idea.

Feel free to add things or try to write this from any other character's point of view! If anyone gets to do that I'd love to be tagged so I can see it.

Español bajo el corte

Arrepentimientos AU

Universo alterno en el que en vez de que una sola persona sea arrastrada a Twisted Wonderland lleguen dos jóvenes, una “heroína” y una “villana”

La historia sería lo básico de muchos manhwas/mangas de reencarnación, ambas chicas mueren en situaciones dudosas y sus almas reencarnan en dos personajes del juego (para el desarrollo de esta historia Twisted Wonderland sería un otome) donde la “heroína” no es tan buena persona como la hace ver la historia y la “villana” solo es una pobre alma puesta en una mala situación.

ADVERTENCIA: Esto tiene referencias a suicidio y asesinato. Avance con precaución.

Imaginemos que toda la historia avanza como se supone que lo dicta el juego, donde la heroína salva a todas las rutas principales (los chicos que terminan teniendo un overblot) y se casa con alguno de ellos o tiene la ruta del harem, mientras que la villana es asesinada/ejecutada por las fechorías que hizo en contra de la heroína (aunque no sean ciertas).

El problema es que la villana y un personaje tenían una relación romántica y por las mentiras de la heroína dicho personaje traiciona a la villana lo que la lleva a su muerte, la cual todos creen que está justificada o es bien merecida, incluyendo el amante de la villana. Hasta que dicho amante logra ver que la villana no muere realmente, solo regresa a su mundo original en el cual ella cree que todo lo que pasó en Twisted Wonderland fue solo un sueño y continúa su vida como si nada hubiera pasado.

El castigo para el personaje es ver como su verdadero amor continúa su vida de forma natural sin él, sufriendo grandes dolores sin poder consolarla o verla caer perdidamente enamorada de alguien que no es él e incluso poder presenciar su boda con otro hombre, mientras que el nunca pudo llenar el vacío que le dejó su partida.

La heroína se llama Yuu y a la villana la llamaremos Saki para poder continuar con la historia. Para expandirme más usare a Vil (cof*uno de mis favoritos*cof) como ejemplo del amante de la villana.

Vil realmente no sabe lo que le pasó por la cabeza cuando Yuu le dijo todas esas mentiras sobre Saki siendo cruel con ella y con Grim. No logra comprender porque creyó en esas palabras tan absurdas sobre su pequeño camote hablando mal de él a sus espaldas y la de todos los demás líderes de dormitorio; sonó tan convincente con esas gruesas lágrimas en sus ojos y ese llanto e hipo al hablar, tenía que admitirlo, Yuu fue una gran maldita actriz para engañar a toda la escuela con eso.

No ayudó que tuviera a todo el mundo enamorado con sus dulces elogios y falsa simpatía hacia sus tristes pasados y horribles experiencias.

A Vil le tomó mucho tiempo darse cuenta que todo lo que les dijo fue una elaborada mentira, tanto tiempo que para cuando se quiso retractar de haber tirado lejos a su amante, ella ya estaba muerta.

Quiso mentirse a sí mismo y tratar de convencerse de que era lo mejor, al menos ahora no sufriría ningún tipo de acoso por las mentiras de una horrible mujer y la estupidez de un grupo de hombres enamorados con la capacidad intelectual de una patata.

Por un tiempo la mentira funcionó, y pudo avanzar con su vida tranquilamente un par de meses. Hasta que una mañana Saki aparece en su espejo.

Ella no puede verlo ni oírlo, solo Vil puede ver lo que su antigua novia hace, y por un tiempo eso es más que suficiente para él. Saber que realmente no se ha ido para siempre le da una esperanza de poder arreglar todo lo malo que le hizo y poder reunirse con ella otra vez ¿Ella lo perdonaría? Claro que lo haría ¡Se amaban! Lo más probable es que Saki estuviera esperándolo también.

Hasta que la escucho tener una conversación con una amiga…

Saki piensa que fue un sueño, para ella “Vil Schoenheit” no es más que un producto de su imaginación, un personaje de un juego popular del cual solo le gusto su “diseño”. No está esperándolo ni suspirando por volverlo a ver, esa dulce tonada de amor con la que solía pronunciar su nombre ya no está.

Ella ni siquiera recuerda que hayan sido pareja.

Duele, le duele tanto que siente que se le aprieta el corazón de solo seguir escuchando el cómo la conversación se convierte en un recuento de todas las mentiras que se creyó, en cómo la traicionó y la abandonó como si no fuera nada más que un par de zapatos viejos. Y lo que más lo mata es que ella solo se ríe cuando lo cuenta, porque eso fue “solo un sueño” jamas paso y nada de lo que ocurrió realmente le afecta ahora, en su verdadera realidad.

Vil sabe que este es su castigo, que algún dios (posiblemente uno relacionado con el amor) vio el horrible pecado que cometió contra su amada y lo condenó a verla avanzar sin él.

Había días buenos y días malos, los días buenos eran en los que su pequeño camote se arreglaba para ir a la escuela o salir con sus amigos, en los que la escuchaba tararear canciones populares o tener conversaciones a través del teléfono.

Los malos eran cuando ella hablaba de amor, amor que no iba dirigido a él sino a otra persona, otro nombre; cuando se arreglaba para citas románticas y pasaba horas en el espejo tratando de buscar el mejor atuendo, el sabia como se miraba cuando las citas iban bien, ella regresaba y tarareaba mientras bailaba tontamente en su cuarto. Vil quería arrancarse el cabello, gritar que ese “alguien” que estaba viendo no era ni la mitad de hombre de lo que ella merecía.

Pero le dolía más verla tener una mala cita. Le quemaba el alma.

No podía borrar de su memoria la primera vez que la dejaron plantada y pasó horas llorando enfrente de su espejo, sin que él pudiera abrazarla y consolarla para que su llanto parara.

Hubo un momento en el que Saki llevó a su novio a su habitación y Vil vio con todo el horror del mundo como compartían lo que sería su primer beso real.

Se enojó tanto que rompió el espejo y pasó horas tratando de juntar todas las pequeñas piezas para arreglarlo.

Tenía miedo de nunca poder volverla a ver. Lo mataba lentamente verla continuar como si él jamás hubiera sido nada en su vida, pero lo mataría aun mas lento no poder saber nada mas de ella.

Pasan años en los que Vil aprende a vivir de esa forma, fuera finje ser una persona completamente capaz y sin preocupaciones, pero dentro de las paredes de su casa se la vive enfrente de su espejo, viendo la vida de su dulce Saki avanzar.

Rook sabe de esto, llegó a ver el reflejo de Saki una única vez e intenta convencer a Vil de que esto no es saludable y debe dejarla ir, pero sin ningún resultado.

Su punto de quiebre fue cuando regresó de una grabación y la vio parada con un hermoso vestido blanco y un ramo de flores en mano. La sonrisa más hermosa que él jamás haya visto dibujada en el rostro de su amada.

Ella se iba a casar con alguien más.

Vil por primera vez en mucho tiempo bebió toda su tristeza en alcohol y pastillas para dormir. Lo último que escuchó antes de quedarse dormido fue un “¿Qué estás dispuesto a dar para tener una segunda oportunidad?”

Su respuesta fue “Cualquier cosa”

Se despertó en medio de la ceremonia de entrada, estaba de pie entre los antiguos líderes de dormitorio esperando por el Director Crowley.

Decir que estaba confundido era poco, hace un minuto estaba en su casa destruyendo su hígado y riñones, y de la nada tenía 18 años de nuevo.

Se sentía mareado y con unas terribles ganas de regresar todo lo que estuviera en su estómago, la boca le sabía amarga y tenía escalofríos.

Vio a Saki entrar junto con Crowley, el estupido gato Grim y la maldita bruja que arruinó tanto su vida como la de su amado camote.

Tuvo que usar toda su fuerza de voluntad para no salir de su formación y tomarla entre sus brazos, besarla y decirle lo mucho que la amaba.

Si estaba en lo correcto, había regresado en en tiempo, mucho antes de haber cometido los errores que lo llevaron a su ruina. Vio con toda la calma del mundo como ni Yuu ni Saki eran sorteadas en ningún dormitorio por su falta de magia.

Decidió dar el primer paso para enmendar sus errores cuando se ofreció a tomar una de las dos chicas nuevas bajo su ala y darle un lugar en su dormitorio.

Fue casi hilarante ver como Yuu se emocionaba creyendo que sería ella, pero fue mucho mejor ver su cara de ira y confusión cuando el dijo que la elegida sería Saki ¿Su excusa? ¡Ella tiene un rostro mucho más sencillo y ve potencial oculto! No hay por qué preocuparse, no hará nada extremo para pulir a esta pequeña y nueva joya.

Oh! su lindo y tierno camote, él hará las cosas bien esta vez y no le importa el precio que tenga que pagar para lograrlo.

Creo que esta es una de las cosas más largas que he llegado a escribir y ni siquiera es una historia completa, solo una idea.

¡Siéntase libre de agregar cosas o intentar escribir esto desde el punto de vista de cualquier otro personaje! si llegan a hacer eso me encantaría que me etiquetaran para poder verlo.

[brascu]

I saw some people online rooting for next season of Umbrella Academy to focus on Klaus and bring Dave back. (spoilerspoilerspoilers)

And like, we all know Klaus loves Dave quite a lot! I am in no way saying he doesn’t

but the universe was reset. Klaus never went to Vietnam in this new timeline. Dave’s ghost (did he die this time in Vietnam? Did he die from old age? Did he die at all? Who knows?) has no ideia who is this guy! Even if Klaus went after him in the void, he would be like ?????? what?

And Klaus knows it.

Because even in the dallas timeline, he and Dave did not fall in love in Vietnam. Dave went to war earlier, Dave probably died before 1968. And future Klaus, in this timeline, never went back to find him. And maybe Dave waited for him in Vietnam, because he said he would be there. But he never were. They never fell in love after the first timeline.

And Klaus knows it.

That’s why we see him in new 2019 holding desperately to his dog tags. They are only memories. Klaus is a really smart fellow (I personally hate when people act like he is not.) and we can see in his face, when Dave tells him he already enlisted, that he knows he fucked up things, he changed the timeline, he changed theis future. He understands, just like Allison, that he lost everything that he had. 

He lost his best friend of all his life forever. He lost the possibility to ever meet Dave, for his Dave who met him in Vietnam and loved him never existed in this timeline, just as much as he knows sparrow Ben is not Ben.

Klaus is sober thoughout season 3 and we don’t see him trying to reach Dave because he knows that. He knows that his first timeline is over. There’s nothing even he, the prince of darkness, can do. Ben’s not Ben. Dave’s not Dave.

Now about what I think is more plausible of happening next season with him, If we are right about the whole s4 in Klaus’ season.

I believe the main reason he went after Luther was so he had something to feel useful about. He just lost one more thing: his powers, the void. Klaus’ been loosing everything he had season after season, scoup after scoup. His personality, the things he held on to not fall while spinning. So trying to be there for Luther after his first revival is Klaus holding on to what’s left of his connetion to death itself.

So maybe we will see him really trying to help Luther find Sloane, so he can feel useful after having nothing more to remind him he is Klaus.

But we know this show, and he wont probably be with Luther forever. And maybe Ben, who is just as lost as he is and even more alone, will end up helping Luther as well. Maybe he will be looking for Sloane on hiw own. Maybe he will be trying to find all his siblings. 

I don’t personally think that the ones who were kugelblitzed will be back in the show. I think they exist, but around where they were born, not close to Reginald in any way. Maybe the reason is the same of why Sloane is not with them: Allison’s deal with Reggie was probably about her siblings being safe, so he saved the umbrellas. And Ben, as I said in another post about s3, is one of them.

In anyway, I think at some point we will find Klaus and Ben together. For years on end, Ben was the only thing keeping Klaus somewhat connected to his powers, to sanity, to himself. Ben has no one, just like dead Ben did while Klaus was his only conection to the world. And we already saw how Klaus was the only one able to connect with sparrow!Ben.

We know from the introduction that Ben is a party guy. We know Klaus tends to fall back to drinking when he’s desperate. We know Luther gets high when heartbroken. I pretty much believe those three will find eachother by simply being out of it.

If the writers are not scaredy cats, I believe we’ll have canon horrance. Why? They’re both alone, queer and trying to cope with all that was taken from them. Both of them, we know, have this longing for belonging. And since I’m a sucker for soulmates shit, I firmly believe any version of them would end up getting super close and loving/hating each other. And they are so needy and so alone. 

And even if the wedding scene was just queerbait, even if they don’t get together romantically, I believe new Ben will be fundamental for Klaus’ next season, if not his trigger to spiraling.

Maybe Ben needs help and go after Klaus, who lost his hope in people after what Reggie did to him. Maybe Klaus don’t trust him because of how he acted after the wedding. Or maybe Klaus is going to help him how he can, because he feels that by helping this Ben he may be somehow giving back to his brother that I firmly believe he misses with all his heart.

Or even worst. Klaus is unable to help Luther finding Sloane. They separate. Klaus ends up being completely alone. Maybe he decides to not let anyone in. Maybe he will fall back in his addiction. And maybe when he is high as a skunk, he thinks sparrow!Ben is his Ben and we will see this man vulnerable as never before.

I know Klaus is important to Reginald’s plan. I know Ben is there because of his inter-timeline complex relationship with the Umbrellas. I know Klaus and Ben are already important to each other.

And what about the credit scene? What do you think about it, Brascu? I have no idea.

Maybe sparrow Ben freaks out and starts remembering his last life and ends up being a whole mix of Bens.

Maybe we now have two living Bens. I would fucking love to see everyone freaking out because of this, specially Klaus. And I miss Paradox Psychosis, so now imagine it with tentacles.

Maybe now that sparrow!Ben don’t need to show off, he will go to Korea, trying to find who he is, Maybe he finally hat space to breathe and become the nerd he’s supposed to be.

What I know for sure about next season is: Ben is gonna be important as fuck. It doesn’t matter what happens, Ben and Klaus are going to interact a lot. Klaus has no way of contacting nor reason to try to know about Dave, who he never met this time.

I feel like we will get into interdimensional shit. And I’m rooting for it and to see my baby beloved Klaus absolutely miserable, dealing with it.

[getouswh0re]

TOKYO REVENGERS REACTIONS:

❤︎ forever is a long time, but I won’t mind spending it by your side ❤︎

an; how Tokyo Revengers characters realise they have fallen in love with you; warnings: none, slight angst, fluff, slight manga spoilers

characters; mikey, draken, chifuyu, baji

For as long as you could reminisce, MIKEY and you have been thick as thieves, doing all sorts of shenanigans (with most of them being his idea of course) and enjoying the time of your youth together. How you wish good times could stay like this forever; just the two of you running through the labyrinth of streets without having a single worry about what the future has to offer, the thrumming of footsteps echoing against the asphalt pavements as chime-like chortles reverberate in remnants of the dwindling sunset.

The two of you have been through ups and downs throughout the years, yet you and him would always seek for solace in each other’s company. The one incident, though, which brought both of your hearts closer than ever — was Emma’s passing. In the dingy bedroom, it was the first time you saw Mikey’s walls collapsing as he leaned into your chest, raw cries laced with heart-wrenching pain reverberating through the solemn midnight air. It broke your heart to witness the tough blonde in such a state of despair; he had lost way too many people already, and the light that was long lost in his hollow eyes now bore semblance to an impenetrable void — devoid of life, and the will to live.

“Hey, y/n ...” A meek croak cut through the lingering silence. “What does it feel like to be left alone ... before you get to realise all of the people you’ve loved is gone?”

Hearing that, your eyes were glassed with a layer of tears that was threatening to overflow. Nonetheless, you held it back, leaning forward as you pulled the blonde into your arms and gave him a tender hug.

“I know how it feels, Mikey ... it’s painful, you’re left alone, you want the agony to stop ... but you’ll not be shouldering this on your own. I’m here for you ... when you need me, okay? So please ... don’t bottle up all of these feelings by yourself. We’ll share the suffering and live on. Promise?”

People came and go in his life, yet the only one who stayed with Sano Manjiro until the very end was none other than you — his first love.

DRAKEN’S instincts have always been spot-on, and this is the same just like any other time — the only thing special is you being in the picture. From the day you become acquainted with the gang’s vice commander, Ryuguji finds himself gravitating bit by bit towards you. He would look forward to seeing you at every meeting, feeling his heart sink whenever you can’t hang out with him, Mikey and the others; initially the blonde only thinks that it is nothing more than a measly feeling — friends would look forward to hanging out with each other, right?

But it is soon proven to be wrong when an unintentional comment from him reveals his feelings towards you to everyone.

“Where is y/n? It feels a bit different today —“

As if everything is in slow motion, his friends swivel their heads around — stares burning into the back of his skull with their jaws dropped.

“Dude, you’re totally into y/n huh.”

Oh shit.

Before the blonde realises, everyone starts to bombard him with questions; not that they aren’t happy for him who finally manages to find the one, but rather — how do polar opposites like you and Ryuguji attract one another.

“Dude, you’ve totally found the right one!”

“Man I feel jealous that you have your eyes on them first! I would’ve shoot my shot if I were you.”

“If you don’t man up and confess, don’t blame me for stealing y/n off their feet —“

“Hold on!” A yell from him is all it takes to make the gang quiet. “How do you guys know it’s love? I mean it can be anything —“

“Just how dense can you be, idiot?” The others chime in unison.

Someone save him, boy is hopeless sometimes.

To pinpoint how he has fallen in love with you would be immensely difficult for CHIFUYU, there are way too many moments where he just finds himself diving headfirst into love! But if he has to choose the exact instant which kindled the flames of adoration, it would be every little bits about you which make him lovestruck.

He loves how your gaze softens at the sight of pets running around every time you come and visit him at the pet store he works at, cooing over how endearing you look as your eyes crinkle when kids wave to you on the streets, admiring your patience and kindness towards everyone you meet — the list goes on and on. Falling in love with you (to him) feels like a typical romance troupe which he has read ad nauseam in shoujo mangas, yet experiencing it firsthand is definitely a first for him.

And of all the attributes he loves about you, the one which makes Chifuyu ascertain his feelings is how you could see the good in people whom you hold dear to your heart — him included.

The sky fades into a myriad of pomegranate pink and indigo as the two of you hang out at the park after the gang meeting has ended, each of you eating an ice cream. With you finishing yours first, you turn over to look at the blonde, only to discover that he has some smudged on his cheeks. Seeing this reminds you of your childhood years together where Chifuyu also had ice cream smeared over his face — the nostalgia of it making giggles roll off your tongue, earning a perplexed look from the vice captain of the first division.

“What are you laughing at y/n??” It only make you laugh harder as his whining reaches your ears.

“Nothing! It just reminds me of how we used to hang out at the same spot when we were younger, also eating ice cream whilst watching the sunset. You also had ice cream all over your face back then. I can still remember that cute ass look on your face ~”

“Come on, it’s in the past! Stop mentioning it y/n, I’m going to die from embarrassment before long. You better attend my funeral —“

“Cute and dramatic as ever Fuyu.” You give him a tap on the nose. “But you know what? I feel so glad that fate brought me to this adorable kid with ice cream all over his face back in the days, and I’m grateful for having you in my life Chifuyu.”

Poor boy almost suffers from a heart attack.

BAJI adores your duality; whether it is watching you coo over street cats or casually firing comebacks at his occasionally snarky remarks, he embraces both sides of your personality, thinking it is what makes you unique to him. Other than that, the teen finds himself drawn towards you for another reason. Being the motherly figure of Baji and his friends, you would always make sure they take care of themselves, chiding them gently whenever they neglect their health; it is something in which he values a lot — he might be known as one of the toughest fighters in the gang, but Baji is also a teenager at heart.

Whenever he needs to vent, you would be there to lend an ear; every time he falls ill, you would rush to his house with warm chicken soup and all the necessary medications to take care of him until he feels better (despite him telling you that he is capable of taking care of himself, which he isn’t). Occasionally Baji would show up outside your bedroom window bartered and bruised, and you would put aside the things you are doing at that moment to dress his wounds, giving him a nag on how he should prioritise his safety over anything else.

You are like a pseudo parental figure to Baji — his solace and anchor whenever life doesn’t go as what he expects; he could never ask for more from you, but deep down — the teen knows that people would eventually drift apart someday.

And a part of him wished this would last forever, that he could let down his walls and be the middle school Baji that yearns to be taken care of by nobody other than you.

The longer he’s spent time around you, the more the queer sensation in his gut stirs. Baji could feel his heartbeat becoming frenzied each time he is hanging out with you, and his usual confident facade would drop as the teen stutters over words. And being rather dense at the beginning, nothing dawned upon him until Mikey and the rest almost have to withhold the urge of bonking Baji in the head for not realising how he’s fallen head over heels for you, did he realise all of this is love after all.

[crash-hawk]

Kaleidoscope AU Masterpost

What is the Kaleidoscope AU? Kaleidoscope started as self-indulgent cringe fanfiction-of-fanfiction with my longfic WIP Color Wheel back in June of 2021, born of my intense Passerine and Tales From the SMP-related brainrot.  It quickly absorbed several other flavors of brainrot and has since expanded into a massive multi-author and artist collaborative effort that is still growing to this day.

The Kaleidoscope AU is a Passerine expansion AU that incorporates characters and story arcs from across the MCYT Cinematic Universe.  All credit and much love, as ever, to the inimitable Kyle Thcscus, whose worldbuilding skills left me mired in brainrot that I will never recover from, and to my co-writers and artists @lunarblazes, @exactlymypoint, @solar-cactus, @mikartisa, @sirbilliamiii, @argonaughtkeene, @zombiepal, @mangop1e, @redwinterroses, and @cocoabats, who made this series into something incredibly special to me, and so much more than I could ever have achieved on my own. 

Works in the Kaleidoscope AU Fanfiction Color Wheel by ExpositionFairy (aka me): In the immediate aftermath of Passerine, the heroes and their friends struggle to come to terms with the fallout, while sinister entities both new and very, very old jockey for control in the power vaccuum the Green God left behind.

Three, by ExpositionFairy: In which an odd remote island full of eccentrics both mortal and immortal gets a visit from the Green God and his friends, campfire tales are told, and Grian learns too late that no one can fly under the radar forever. (A prequel taking place approximately 350 years before the events of Passerine/Color Wheel.)

give me back my heart, you wingless thing by lunarblazes: Twelve gods and their mortal companions fight to remember themselves in the midst of Dream’s deadly game.

To Stars and Void He Will Return by @exactlymypoint and Supernova by @solar-cactus: The God of the Stars does the only thing he can think of to do in order to save his doomed mortal lover from the Green God’s machinations.

Hurricane by ExpositionFairy: In the wake of the events of Three and Wingless, the devastated Hermits struggle to pick up the pieces, as their world continues to entangle itself with that of their Dream SMP counterparts until a world-shaking event changes everything forever.  (Bridges the time period between Three and Passerine/Color Wheel)

as days go by (the night’s on fire) by ExpositionFairy: The storm is over, the nightmare banished to the dark...but dawn brings troubles of its own.  (Set directly following Hurricane leading up to Color Wheel)

balance of the scales/these stones take no comfort under foreigners’ footsteps by midge1: Doc, Keeper of the Scales of Balance, and Iskall, God of Stone and Mountain, encounter the terrifying fallout of Dream’s actions and fight to defend their afflicted friends.

Voices by ExpositionFairy  and when I’m far too tired to fall asleep by @lunarblazes: Twenty years after the events of Three, the Hermits and their friends find themselves back in horrifyingly familiar circumstances...only this time the rules have changed, and the unwilling players discover that they’ve changed along with them. screaming at the sun you throw into by @lunarblazes: At his lowest moment, Grian reaches out for help in facing his worst fears and hits on a novel (if rather scuffed) way to come to terms with who and what he’s become. (takes place between Voices/when I’m far to tired to fall asleep and the final chapters of Hurricane) Judge of Souls by @exactlymypoint: Wels, psychopomp and Guardian of the Gates of Hell, reflects on life and death, friends and foes. take my hand (take my whole life too) by @buildmarts: Niki and Puffy finally find peace in the next world.

Promises, Promises by ExpositionFairy (Tumblr exclusive): Punz receives an offer too tempting to refuse.  the saying goes ‘ashes to ashes,’ doesn’t it? by @lunarblazes: Tales from the early days of Boatem, and how four immortal misfits and one oddball human became a family. The Manic Mockingbird and Death’s Last Protege by @lunarblazes: History becomes legend, legend becomes myth. so you feel entitled to a sense of control by @bananasofthorns: On their way to Boatem Village, the Green God and his companions come across an odd little market in the middle of nowhere.  (Takes place immediately prior to Three)

stretching the truth out of shape by @bananasofthorns: Hypno and XB, and the origins of an unlikely friendship.

you’re a smart kid, tough kid (but you’re still a kid) by @mangop1e: A tale of two brothers, and a desperate deal (takes place directly after Chapters 11 and 12 of Color Wheel)

Fanart Color Wheel cover art by @redwinterroses PearlescentMoon from Chapter 14 of Color Wheel by @mikartisa False, Iskall, and Wels from Chapter 1 of Hurricane by @zombiepal Grian Sunstealer by @lunarblazes “I love you” and “I’m sorry”: Sam and Ponk from Chapter 15 of Color Wheel by @mikartisa The Phoenix from Chapter 5 of Hurricane  by @cocoabats (Updated 07/15/22!)

[narutogwriting]

Touch Starved

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

CW: none

Length: 4k+

Inspired by this picture

Requests are Open!

“Naruto?”

Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.

So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.

And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.

So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.

It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.

You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.

Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.

Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.

“Can I sleep in here with you?”

If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.

“Yeah, of course.”

Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.

And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.

But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.

It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.

When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.

But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.

And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.

You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.

But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.

The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.

 When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.

“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—” 

“Naruto,” You interrupted him with a laugh, though the color on your cheeks now matched his. “Of course we can share a tent.” You told him, turning back to your work as you set it up. “Don’t be weird.” You weren’t sure if it was a message to him or to yourself.

Unlike everything else with Naruto’s return, sleeping by Naruto didn’t feel as natural as it had before. There was a tension, almost palpable, settling in the tent. It was as if there was a string attaching your fingers to his, and the more the string pulled you to him, the closer to your sides you kept your hands. You couldn’t know that he felt it too.

The mission was straight forward and accomplished quickly. As soon as it started, it ended, and your team was heading back to the leaf village, only a days journey away. You would stop around the same area you had the night before, camping for the evening before heading home at daylight. You and Naruto had barely talked the whole way.

That night reminded you of the one when you had first crawled into Naruto’s tent. The wind was roaring making it hard to fall asleep. It was winter this time, however, and you hadn’t accounted for the night being so cold. The clothes you’d chosen to sleep in did nothing to keep in your body’s warmth, and your teeth chattered audibly as you curled into your sleeping bag, back to Naruto.

When your name left his hips, it almost startled you. The two of you had crawled into the tent quietly, not even bothering to say goodnight, the weight of the change in your relationship that you could both feel hanging heavy between you.

“Yeah?” You found yourself saying back, almost too quietly for him to hear. Almost.

“Uh, do you wanna, I dunno, sleep in my sleeping bag with me?” He mumbled, the words coming out fast and bunching together. “It’s just really cold, and I’m afraid that your teeth are going to break from clicking together so hard.” He hoped the joke would make it less weird, that you would feel more comfortable.

The question choked you with something you didn’t have words for, a feeling that bubbled in your stomach, spreading warm and shaky throughout your body.

“Okay.”

You crawled slowly, oh so slowly from your bag to his. He tried to scoot to one side, to make room. He unzipped the bag just a little bit, enough for you to crawl in next to him before he zipped it back up. There wasn’t enough room for you to lay comfortably next to him. Your body was on his just a bit, head by his chest and your arms pressed tightly to your side. You felt frozen with excitement and nerves. This was as close to a boy as you’d ever been. 

The silence seemed to go on forever, but it was just a few seconds. Naruto’s arm had been pressed motionless to his sides, but slowly he felt them thaw before wrapping around your body, pressing you to him. 

“You can like, hug me, ya know? Or put your arms on me or something. Just to be more comfortable.”

You nodded, your throat dry as you tried to swallow. You unlatched your arms from your body, a hand going up to rest on his chest. It only took a moment or two to get comfortable, to feel like your body fit perfectly into his. Falling asleep in Naruto’s arms, that was the most comfortable you’d ever slept.

The next morning, there wasn’t an awkwardness. It was something else, something sweeter, shyer. The string pulled your fingers closer, and though your hand didn’t touch his, neither did it pull away. You’d never felt so giddy in your life.

If only you knew what it meant to Naruto.

Naruto couldn’t remember one time in his life that he had cuddled with another person. He was sure that he must’ve been held at least occasionally as a baby, but it wasn’t anything he could remember. No one hugged him as he grew, no one tucked him in at night or rocked him to sleep. Once, when he was four, Naruto had found a puppy that got away from its owner. Naruto scooped the small animal up, holding him in his arms. The puppy had licked him affectionately, and Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that the small action had brought him to tears. Iruka’s hand on his head was the first affectionate touch he could remember from another person. He’d thought his heart would burst at that moment. It was nothing compared to what he’d felt getting to hold you while he slept. 

He’d heard people say that hugging could lower stress, elevate your mood, even help prevent you from getting sick. He’d never understood it. Naruto had occasionally hugged Sakura and gotten affectionate touches from his sensei as he got older, but sleeping with you was different.

He understood now what the experts meant when they spoke about the benefits of hugging. He could comprehend why romantic relationships were so important to people if they got to touch their partner every day. Cuddling with you that night had Naruto’s head reeling, high off an emotion he didn’t even have a name for. He’d never felt so close to another person, so connected. How had he survived sixteen years without this? How had he survived those two and a half years training without you?

It was a mix of emotions as your head hit your pillow that night. You were relieved to have been able to take a shower. A home cooked meal never tasted so good as it did after a mission where you survived off dried meats. The softness of your mattress definitely beat the cold hard ground. But, you realized, you would gladly spend a lifetime sleeping on the floor of the woods if you got to sleep by Naruto’s side.

It was too scary to think about these new feelings. You knew what it was now, that you didn’t just see Naruto as your best friend. You liked Naruto. Maybe even more than liked him. You didn’t know how this could have happened. How could you ever face him again? If he knew how you felt, your friendship would be ruined.

You had resolved to avoid him for the foreseeable future so that you could wait out the feelings. Maybe if you had some time apart, the feelings would go away, and nothing would have to change between the two of you.

Your eyes had finally started to flutter closed with exhaustion when you heard tapping on your window, startling you. Sitting up, you looked uncertainly towards the window before finally getting up and going to inspect the noise. Naruto’s face peering back at you from the other side was the last thing you expected to see.

Opening the window as quietly as you could, you willed the butterflies in your stomach to quell. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” You whispered, glancing back towards your bedroom door, sure that your parents would burst through at any moment.

Naruto looked sheepishly back at you, a bashful grin on his face. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked. Rolling your eyes, you did your best to bite back the giddy smile playing on your own lips.

“Yes, Naruto. I’m trying to sleep. What are you doing here?” You asked him again. Instead of answering, Naruto began climbing through your window, making a little too much noise. You shushed him with a stifled giggle as he fell to the floor. “You’re going to wake my parents,” You told him, trying to look stern. Naruto hopped back up to his feet looking at you embarrassedly. 

“I couldn’t sleep…” He admitted, his eyes flickering from yours back to the floor. “I was wondering… Do you think I could sleep here tonight?”

The question hung between the two of you, innocent and unassuming. It wasn’t that weird, the two of you were thinking. You shared a tent on missions; was it that different sharing a bed?

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, feeling breathless. Naruto was in his pajamas too, you realized, decked in a white t shirt and orange sweats. You turned from him, walking slowly to your bed, doing your best not to make any noise. “You have to leave before my parents are up, okay?” You whispered as you climbed back into your bed.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, following after you. “I will, believe it!” He said a little too loudly for someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. You shot him a look, though you couldn’t help but smile.

Climbing into the bed after you, Naruto got comfortable under the covers, and the two of you laid next to each other silently. Staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Naruto could hear the sound of your heartbeat as it rang in your ears. This was fine. This was normal for two best friends.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, more awake than you had been before. You closed your eyes, doing your best to get some rest and failing miserably. You were too aware of Naruto’s presence beside you. He seemed to have fallen asleep long ago if his rhythmic breathing was anything to go by.

And then, suddenly, you felt him rolling over. His hand reached out in the darkness, finding you and pulling you flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him before his body went still again. You froze, looking up at his face. Was he awake? Had he meant to do that? It was impossible to tell with his eyes screwed shut. 

You felt alive, truly alive, for the first time in your life. Nothing had ever felt so right.

The next morning, as promised, Naruto was back out the window before your parents woke up. The two of you had stayed in that position all night, and when Naruto began to shift awake, he looked at you with a shy, lopsided smile. All he said was a quiet “good morning” before he was sneaking out.

And there was no way to hide now that things had definitely changed. It was unspoken, but you both knew it. Neither of you knew what to say about it, didn’t know if you even should say anything about it. It wasn’t bad. It was good, better than good, but so new and unexplored for the both of you that you didn’t know how to approach the subject, so you said nothing about it. 

It became a regular occurrence for Naruto to climb through your window every night to sleep in your bed. Each time he did, it became easier for Naruto to pull you into him as he fell asleep, and every morning when he left, you wondered how you had ever slept without Naruto’s arms around you.

All of your friends noticed the change between you and Naruto too, though no one said anything. They all exchanged curious glances with each other, seeing how easily Naruto touched you now and the way the two of you looked at each other just a little bit longer than you used to. But no one knew about your and Naruto’s extended sleepover, and so they all whispered among themselves, but said nothing about it to your faces.

When your parents decided to move back to the village that you had been born in, they gave you the option to stay in the leaf. You were only sixteen, but you were a ninja afterall. You were more than capable of making your own choices and taking care of yourself.

And of course you stayed. This was where your life was, where your friends were. Even more importantly, this was where Naruto was. 

So when you told him your predicament, that you needed to find a new place to stay, he didn’t hesitate in offering to stay with him. You were sitting at his kitchen table when he said it, and he immediately began pushing things around the small apartment. “You see? We can put your bed here, and can move this over here…” He motioned to the space he had created. “It may be a little cramped, but at least until you can find something else?”

Of course your friends teased the two of you about your new living arrangements. Never when you were together. Everyone was insistent, desperate to be the one that got one of you to cave and admit your feelings for each other. For your part, you just smiled and said, “He’s my best friend.”

And that flew for a while. The same people that had been sure you and Naruto were meant to be began to wonder if they had it wrong all along, began to wonder if you and Naruto truly were just friends.

They didn’t know that you never got around to getting your own bed at Naruto’s house. That first night, you just shared his bed because you’d been doing it for so long. The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, and the thought of getting a separate bed just didn’t seem that important. And anyways, you’d gotten used to sleeping by Naruto’s side. Naruto knew that if you got your own bed, he would just climb into yours every night.

You were only sixteen, but Naruto wanted nothing more than to spend every night by your side. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he’d ever been so happy. There was so much on his mind all the time, the oncoming war, getting Sasuke back. And even with the chaos surrounding him, Naruto was at peace because of you. He had a confidence that everything would work out okay. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which it wouldn’t.

It was the first time that Sakura and Ino had stopped by since you’d moved in that it was pointed out how unconventional your arrangement was. Sure, you both knew it wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for the two of you. You didn’t see any harm in it.

Naruto was away on a mission when the girls had stopped by, needing to borrow something. When you let them in, they excitedly looked around the small studio apartment, wanting to see if and how you had changed Naruto’s place.

“Uh, where’s the other bed?” Sakura asked as you closed a cupboard, pulling out the tupperware they needed. 

“Hm?” You asked, placing it on the table. “Oh, I haven’t gotten one yet. We usually just share.” You said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You’d shared your bed with Naruto so long, it no longer embarrassed you. You’d just never had a reason to mention it.

Sakura and Ino’s jaws dropped. They looked from you to each other, wondering if you were serious. You picked up on their shock, looking back at them sheepishly. “What?” You mumbled, feeling your face heating up.

“Are you guys, like, dating?” Ino placed her hand on her hip, looking at you expectedly. You shook your head. 

“No, of course not. He’s my best friend! I just haven’t gotten my own bed yet. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal!?” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s a huge deal! You guys live together, share a bed together… you’re practically married!”

Ino nodded in agreement. “Sakura’s right. That’s a weird thing for two ‘best friends�� to be doing. It’s not normal.”

Sakura and Ino’s words rang through your head all day after they’d gone. Was it that weird? Sure, the whole thing had been nerve wracking at first, but now it was just part of your dynamic like everything else was. Of course you still harbored your feelings for Naruto, but you’d pushed them deep down, pretending they weren’t there in a bid to save your and Naruto’s friendship.

You were already in bed when he got back from his mission that night. He threw open the door, dropping his bag and sighing loudly. “Are you awake?” He called as he made his way to the bathroom.

“I am now,” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you heard the shower start. You yawned, your body tired despite how awake your mind was. It was a while longer before Naruto was finally ready to settle in for the night.

With a loud yawn, he dropped down on the bed beside you, stretching. “I missed this,” he said, turning over as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. He reached for you instinctively, a happy sigh leaving his lips as you cuddled into his chest.

But Naruto knew you better than anyone, and he could tell something was on your mind. “Everything okay?” He murmured against your hair, moments from falling asleep.

“Is this weird?” You asked him timidly, afraid to hear his answer. 

Naruto froze for a moment before pulling away slightly, just enough so he could look down at you. “Is what weird?” He asked back slowly.

You shrugged. “Sakura and Ino stopped by today. They saw we share a bed and… I don’t know. They said it wasn’t normal.” You were afraid to voice the thought, but you couldn’t help it. The seed had been planted, and it wouldn’t stop growing.

But Naruto just rolled his eyes in response. “You’re gonna listen to them?” He asked with a small laugh. “What do they know about normal?”

“They said it was only normal for people that were, like, in a relationship. Not people that were just friends…”

Naruto was quiet, and you could tell he was mulling over the information, no doubt wondering--much like you were--if they had a point. He pulled away even more, and you could see in the moonlight that he was blushing. “Are we just friends?”

The words hit you like a freight train, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You weren’t ready for this conversation. Things had been going so well, you’d been so happy and comfortable. You weren’t ready for things between you and Naruto to change, not yet. But now you didn’t have a choice.

“Do you want to be?” You whispered back.

The silence lingered, heavy and suffocating. You felt ready to cry. You loved Naruto. You didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer, but you didn’t want to lose him either. If he didn’t feel the same way… You didn’t know what you’d do. You couldn’t think of anything any more devastating.

Reluctantly, you brought your eyes up to meet Naruto’s brilliant blue ones. They were staring earnestly into yours, searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. Slowly, shakily, he brought his hand up to your face, brushing your hair back. His touch was soft, barely there, and it sent shivers up your spine. 

Finally, he leaned in to you, bringing his lips to brush against yours in a sweet, shy kiss. The motion was unsure, nervous. He’d been dying to do that for months now, and he had no idea how you would react.

Naruto’s kiss sent your head reeling. You’d always thought that kissing Naruto would send your heart racing, but instead it slowed, calming every nerve in your body.

When Naruto pulled away, he was wearing a grin that matched yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He told you, stroking your cheek. You could only smile in response, pulling him in to kiss you once more

Naruto had gone his whole life touch starved and alone. Affection was so scarce, he hadn’t even known what he was missing. 

Sharing a bed, sleeping next to you, kissing you goodnight. It wasn’t scary or unsure.

It felt like coming home. 

[spidernerdsblog]

Let me down slowly

A/N : since the movie is kind of based on 'one more day' so here is a fic where the world actually forgets peter is Spiderman, this is also based on the 'a brand new day' comics. Hope you like this. Let me know what you think.

(Listen to let me down slowly by Alec Benjamin. Also there will be no part 2 to this)

Pairing : Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings : angst, missed typos

"Be careful what you wish for Parker" that's the warning Strange gave Peter when he had asked him to cast a spell and make the world forget about his real identity behind the Spiderman mask. Peter never cared about his life so much but he couldn't see the people he loved getting hurt because of him and he knew exactly what he was putting at stake. All the precious moments he shared with May, Ned, MJ and you will fade away from your memories in the blink of an eye but this was the only way to keep you and everyone he cared for safe.

It wasn't easy for him to persuade his heart that ultimately he will end up losing you forever nevertheless he went forward with his decision. And just like that the spell was cast ripping open the multiverse changing time and reality forever.

It was like nothing had changed Peter woke up in his bed alone. The same old apartment he has been living in with his aunt all these years though now she was totally oblivious of his identity like before. Ned and MJ were by his side all the time like they used to, they don’t remember a thing except that spiderman had saved their lives every time they have fallen in some danger. He was back to being New York's admired masked vigilante.

The only thing that wasn't the same was you were no longer a part of his life. All those promises of loving each other forever now lay broken though it was never your fault because he never really gave you the choice. He knew you would never agree with his decision. He remembers the last time he saw you, you had kissed him and told "don’t do anything stupid spiderman" but he did what he had to. It’s true not all love stories have a happy ending so from two hopeless lovers now you’ve turned into two beautiful strangers.

After graduating high school you both ended up in the same college. He watched you from afar as you went through your day, attending classes and making new friends. You seemed to be so close to him yet so far out of his reach.

Peter tried to hold on to the little pieces he had of you in his memories wishing he had asked Strange to erase his memories of you as well. At least it would have hurt less. There wasn't a single moment Peter didn’t think of walking up to you and try to remind you of him, of the past you shared but he knew it would have been a futile attempt. Being with him never brought you any peace of mind. You were constantly worried for him and your life was always at risk due to his superhero life. But now you seem to be a lot more happier with a chance at a better life that he could have never given you.

He watched you fall in love again with none other than Harry Osborn who he had become good friends with. He tried to be happy for you but he clearly wasn't. How could he? When he is still not over you or will ever be. Every night he would find himself outside of your window reminiscing old memories of you patching up his wounds listening to his life problems later on cuddling to sleep in each other's arms forgetting all the woes of this world. He missed seeing you in his clothes, he missed your carefree laughter, he missed your warmth, he missed you and honestly he can't stop loving you.

For you it was like you woke up from a deep slumber and a sudden emptiness grasped onto you. A void was created in your life as you felt like you had lost someone very close to you but you couldn't remember them anymore no matter how hard you try.

And that feeling only intensified whenever you saw Peter. You only remember him as the geeky boy from highschool who is also Harry’s best friend now. But for some strange reason whenever you looked at him your heart clenched. It felt like you had known him for years and now everything is a blur.

You have often found yourself staring at your window expectantly at night as if you are waiting for someone to arrive but they never do. For some weird reason it felt so lonely and painful and you have no one to go to who could give you the answers to this current predicament in your life.

It was late in the evening when you were returning home from your part time job. You stopped at the crossing waiting for the traffic light to go red. Once it did you had just taken a step forward when a car came speeding in your direction. The strong headlights blinding your vision as your body curled up bracing yourself for whatever next is going to happen with you but miraculously you felt yourself being swept off your feet.

A strong muscular arm holding your body firmly against their chest and weirdly you felt safe, the warmth of their body instantly calming you down. It felt like you had lived this moment before it was almost like a deja vu. You finally dared to open your eyes and found yourself in the arms of spiderman. For a moment you just stared at his red spandex covered face but then you made the mistake of looking down. The height you were swinging across the city, scaring the life out of you as you buried your face in the crook of his neck clutching on to him tightly.

After sometime he sets you down on your feet, a hand still wrapped around your body protectively keeping you closer to him. You look around to find your were at the end of the street of your neighborhood.

"Are you alright, miss?" he finally speaks, the sound of his voice seemed awfully familiar to you.

"Yes, thank you very much for saving my life" you said to him, glancing at his face.

"That’s my duty as your friendly neighborhood spiderman" his words made you smile and Peter’s heart melted because it’s been a while that he was the reason behind your smile. For an unknown reason you had this feeling inside you that you actually might know the person behind that mask as you reached out a hand cradling the side of his face, your eyes trailed up and down studying his face carefully.

"Do I know you?" Peter almost teared up at your question. Part of him was ready to take the mask off right there and reveal his identity to you once again but the other part stopped him from doing that as he swallowed the lump in the back of his throat.

"We have met. In another life Y/N" saying so he shoots a web upward and swings away, leaving you wondering about what he meant by 'in another life'.

..................................................................................

Reblogs are appreciated ❤️

[narutogu]

Touch Starved

REPOSTED ON MY MAIN NARUTO BLOG BECAUSE IT WASN’T SHOWING UP IN THE TAGS. MORE WRITING TO COME ON @narutogwriting​

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

CW: none

Length: 4k+

Inspired by this picture

Requests are Open!

“Naruto?”

Your voice broke out softly through the momentary silence. The wind had been howling almost constantly that night, keeping you wide awake. You weren’t afraid of anything, not really. At twelve years old, you, like many of your friends, had the notion that you were invincible. Nothing could touch you, and you would always come out on top. You would miss that as you grew older, the confidence in yourself and your abilities. The belief that the world was fair, and that the good guys always won.

So it wasn’t really that you were scared of the way the wind screamed, the whistles through the tree leaves or the sporadic loud crashes that came as the wind blew branches and even tree trunks to the ground. Maybe it was the fact that you had experienced the first death of an enemy on a mission.

And maybe it was deserved. He had been a criminal, after all, and you hadn’t delivered the fateful blow; of course not. It had been Kakashi, in a bid to save your life.

So maybe you were scared, or traumatized, or reeling from your innocence being shattered for the very first time. Whatever you felt, you were still too young, too inexperienced, to be able to pinpoint what exactly the distressed tugging of your heart meant.

It was what had dragged you from your own tent to Naruto’s, quietly and nervously. Kakashi was in his own tent, and you had been sharing with Sakura who was fast asleep. Having her by your side did nothing to calm the storm beginning to brew from inside you.

You had opened his tent timidly, doing your best not to startle him awake. He was fast asleep, on his side in fetal position hugging his pillow to him tightly. But when you spoke his name, your voice stirred him even from his deep slumber.

Naruto whispered your name, groggily, confused, but he’d know your voice anywhere.

Yawning, he sat up rubbing at his eyes, peering at you curiously. “What happened?” He asked.

“Can I sleep in here with you?”

If you were brave, then there were no words adequate enough to describe the courage that burned within Naruto’s heart. He was sure of himself, of what he believed. He would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He would do anything for you. You couldn’t think of a safer place than by his side.

“Yeah, of course.”

Relief flooded through you as you dragged your sleeping bag into the tent, fitting it next to his with some distance of course. You were best friends, but you were also twelve. There was something embarrassing about sleeping so close to someone of the opposite gender. But you couldn’t remember a time where you had ever slept more soundly.

And thus a new tradition had been born. For the whole year and a half afterwards, anytime you and Naruto were on a mission together, you shared a tent. Sure some of your friends teased you for it, and whatever jonin leading your team would shoot the two of you knowing looks as if they had some secret knowledge that you and Naruto hadn’t yet discovered.

But for you and Naruto, it was normal, as natural as anything. The two of you already spent all your time by each other’s side—it only made sense that that would include sharing a tent when on missions together.

It was only ever a tent though. It wasn’t like the two of you cuddled or anything. That was just embarrassing! Though you two were now out of the stage of believing in cooties, you were beginning to understand that there were some secret, unspoken rules for the way you were expected to act with the other gender. Ridiculous, arbitrary rules that were as old as time and didn’t account for the complexity that was the gender spectrum, but you didn’t understand any of that just yet.

When Naruto left, you were heartbroken, of course. Shattered even. You’d never known that it could feel like you had a hole in your heart until Naruto had taken part of yours with him. You dreaded the years to come of missing him.

But he had work to do and so did you. Naruto was going to get stronger and there was no way you would be left behind. Every time you missed him, you threw yourself into your training. The years didn’t pass quickly, but you found as time went on you were able to find other things that made you feel more whole even when you weren’t.

And just as suddenly, that void was filled. Blond hair and bright orange clothing filled your vision and kicked your heart up into your throat. You hadn’t expected to see him, but nothing could have made you happier.

You’d worried over the years that when Naruto came home, things would be different. Spending two and a half years apart changed things, and you had grown a lot. But you and Naruto fell into step together like he had never left, and just like that you had your best friend back.

But things had changed, though you weren’t going to admit that. When his blue eyes met yours, your breath stopped. Every time his fingers ran through his hair, it was like you were in another world. Part of you knew things were different, but you were never going to say it out loud. You buried your feelings deep within you, hiding your heart like a secret.

The thing that made you most nervous was when you and Naruto had your first mission together since he’d been back. You, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi, just like the mission where you’d first shared a tent. You didn’t know what to say, embarrassed to ask if you would both share a tent like when you were younger. If that had been embarrassing when you were twelve, it was even worse when you were sixteen.

When your team stopped for camp Kakashi went to secure the perimeter and Sakura to gather firewood. You went to work setting up your own tent when you felt Naruto’s presence behind you. You turned to look at him. He was standing there, scratching the back of his head, pink dusting his cheeks as he looked anywhere but at you.

“I didn’t bring a tent…” He admitted sheepishly. “When we were younger, we always shared a tent, and I figured we’d just do that again… I can share with Kakashi, though, if it’s weird. I don’t mean to—”

“Naruto,” You interrupted him with a laugh, though the color on your cheeks now matched his. “Of course we can share a tent.” You told him, turning back to your work as you set it up. “Don’t be weird.” You weren’t sure if it was a message to him or to yourself.

Unlike everything else with Naruto’s return, sleeping by Naruto didn’t feel as natural as it had before. There was a tension, almost palpable, settling in the tent. It was as if there was a string attaching your fingers to his, and the more the string pulled you to him, the closer to your sides you kept your hands. You couldn’t know that he felt it too.

The mission was straight forward and accomplished quickly. As soon as it started, it ended, and your team was heading back to the leaf village, only a days journey away. You would stop around the same area you had the night before, camping for the evening before heading home at daylight. You and Naruto had barely talked the whole way.

That night reminded you of the one when you had first crawled into Naruto’s tent. The wind was roaring making it hard to fall asleep. It was winter this time, however, and you hadn’t accounted for the night being so cold. The clothes you’d chosen to sleep in did nothing to keep in your body’s warmth, and your teeth chattered audibly as you curled into your sleeping bag, back to Naruto.

When your name left his hips, it almost startled you. The two of you had crawled into the tent quietly, not even bothering to say goodnight, the weight of the change in your relationship that you could both feel hanging heavy between you.

“Yeah?” You found yourself saying back, almost too quietly for him to hear. Almost.

“Uh, do you wanna, I dunno, sleep in my sleeping bag with me?” He mumbled, the words coming out fast and bunching together. “It’s just really cold, and I’m afraid that your teeth are going to break from clicking together so hard.” He hoped the joke would make it less weird, that you would feel more comfortable.

The question choked you with something you didn’t have words for, a feeling that bubbled in your stomach, spreading warm and shaky throughout your body.

“Okay.”

You crawled slowly, oh so slowly from your bag to his. He tried to scoot to one side, to make room. He unzipped the bag just a little bit, enough for you to crawl in next to him before he zipped it back up. There wasn’t enough room for you to lay comfortably next to him. Your body was on his just a bit, head by his chest and your arms pressed tightly to your side. You felt frozen with excitement and nerves. This was as close to a boy as you’d ever been.

The silence seemed to go on forever, but it was just a few seconds. Naruto’s arm had been pressed motionless to his sides, but slowly he felt them thaw before wrapping around your body, pressing you to him.

“You can like, hug me, ya know? Or put your arms on me or something. Just to be more comfortable.”

You nodded, your throat dry as you tried to swallow. You unlatched your arms from your body, a hand going up to rest on his chest. It only took a moment or two to get comfortable, to feel like your body fit perfectly into his. Falling asleep in Naruto’s arms, that was the most comfortable you’d ever slept.

The next morning, there wasn’t an awkwardness. It was something else, something sweeter, shyer. The string pulled your fingers closer, and though your hand didn’t touch his, neither did it pull away. You’d never felt so giddy in your life.

If only you knew what it meant to Naruto.

Naruto couldn’t remember one time in his life that he had cuddled with another person. He was sure that he must’ve been held at least occasionally as a baby, but it wasn’t anything he could remember. No one hugged him as he grew, no one tucked him in at night or rocked him to sleep. Once, when he was four, Naruto had found a puppy that got away from its owner. Naruto scooped the small animal up, holding him in his arms. The puppy had licked him affectionately, and Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that the small action had brought him to tears. Iruka’s hand on his head was the first affectionate touch he could remember from another person. He’d thought his heart would burst at that moment. It was nothing compared to what he’d felt getting to hold you while he slept.

He’d heard people say that hugging could lower stress, elevate your mood, even help prevent you from getting sick. He’d never understood it. Naruto had occasionally hugged Sakura and gotten affectionate touches from his sensei as he got older, but sleeping with you was different.

He understood now what the experts meant when they spoke about the benefits of hugging. He could comprehend why romantic relationships were so important to people if they got to touch their partner every day. Cuddling with you that night had Naruto’s head reeling, high off an emotion he didn’t even have a name for. He’d never felt so close to another person, so connected. How had he survived sixteen years without this? How had he survived those two and a half years training without you?

It was a mix of emotions as your head hit your pillow that night. You were relieved to have been able to take a shower. A home cooked meal never tasted so good as it did after a mission where you survived off dried meats. The softness of your mattress definitely beat the cold hard ground. But, you realized, you would gladly spend a lifetime sleeping on the floor of the woods if you got to sleep by Naruto’s side.

It was too scary to think about these new feelings. You knew what it was now, that you didn’t just see Naruto as your best friend. You liked Naruto. Maybe even more than liked him. You didn’t know how this could have happened. How could you ever face him again? If he knew how you felt, your friendship would be ruined.

You had resolved to avoid him for the foreseeable future so that you could wait out the feelings. Maybe if you had some time apart, the feelings would go away, and nothing would have to change between the two of you.

Your eyes had finally started to flutter closed with exhaustion when you heard tapping on your window, startling you. Sitting up, you looked uncertainly towards the window before finally getting up and going to inspect the noise. Naruto’s face peering back at you from the other side was the last thing you expected to see.

Opening the window as quietly as you could, you willed the butterflies in your stomach to quell. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” You whispered, glancing back towards your bedroom door, sure that your parents would burst through at any moment.

Naruto looked sheepishly back at you, a bashful grin on his face. “Sorry, did I wake you?” He asked. Rolling your eyes, you did your best to bite back the giddy smile playing on your own lips.

“Yes, Naruto. I’m trying to sleep. What are you doing here?” You asked him again. Instead of answering, Naruto began climbing through your window, making a little too much noise. You shushed him with a stifled giggle as he fell to the floor. “You’re going to wake my parents,” You told him, trying to look stern. Naruto hopped back up to his feet looking at you embarrassedly.

“I couldn’t sleep…” He admitted, his eyes flickering from yours back to the floor. “I was wondering… Do you think I could sleep here tonight?”

The question hung between the two of you, innocent and unassuming. It wasn’t that weird, the two of you were thinking. You shared a tent on missions; was it that different sharing a bed?

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, feeling breathless. Naruto was in his pajamas too, you realized, decked in a white t shirt and orange sweats. You turned from him, walking slowly to your bed, doing your best not to make any noise. “You have to leave before my parents are up, okay?” You whispered as you climbed back into your bed.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically, following after you. “I will, believe it!” He said a little too loudly for someone that wasn’t supposed to be there. You shot him a look, though you couldn’t help but smile.

Climbing into the bed after you, Naruto got comfortable under the covers, and the two of you laid next to each other silently. Staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Naruto could hear the sound of your heartbeat as it rang in your ears. This was fine. This was normal for two best friends.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, more awake than you had been before. You closed your eyes, doing your best to get some rest and failing miserably. You were too aware of Naruto’s presence beside you. He seemed to have fallen asleep long ago if his rhythmic breathing was anything to go by.

And then, suddenly, you felt him rolling over. His hand reached out in the darkness, finding you and pulling you flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him before his body went still again. You froze, looking up at his face. Was he awake? Had he meant to do that? It was impossible to tell with his eyes screwed shut.

You felt alive, truly alive, for the first time in your life. Nothing had ever felt so right.

The next morning, as promised, Naruto was back out the window before your parents woke up. The two of you had stayed in that position all night, and when Naruto began to shift awake, he looked at you with a shy, lopsided smile. All he said was a quiet “good morning” before he was sneaking out.

And there was no way to hide now that things had definitely changed. It was unspoken, but you both knew it. Neither of you knew what to say about it, didn’t know if you even should say anything about it. It wasn’t bad. It was good, better than good, but so new and unexplored for the both of you that you didn’t know how to approach the subject, so you said nothing about it.

It became a regular occurrence for Naruto to climb through your window every night to sleep in your bed. Each time he did, it became easier for Naruto to pull you into him as he fell asleep, and every morning when he left, you wondered how you had ever slept without Naruto’s arms around you.

All of your friends noticed the change between you and Naruto too, though no one said anything. They all exchanged curious glances with each other, seeing how easily Naruto touched you now and the way the two of you looked at each other just a little bit longer than you used to. But no one knew about your and Naruto’s extended sleepover, and so they all whispered among themselves, but said nothing about it to your faces.

When your parents decided to move back to the village that you had been born in, they gave you the option to stay in the leaf. You were only sixteen, but you were a ninja afterall. You were more than capable of making your own choices and taking care of yourself.

And of course you stayed. This was where your life was, where your friends were. Even more importantly, this was where Naruto was.

So when you told him your predicament, that you needed to find a new place to stay, he didn’t hesitate in offering to stay with him. You were sitting at his kitchen table when he said it, and he immediately began pushing things around the small apartment. “You see? We can put your bed here, and can move this over here…” He motioned to the space he had created. “It may be a little cramped, but at least until you can find something else?”

Of course your friends teased the two of you about your new living arrangements. Never when you were together. Everyone was insistent, desperate to be the one that got one of you to cave and admit your feelings for each other. For your part, you just smiled and said, “He’s my best friend.”

And that flew for a while. The same people that had been sure you and Naruto were meant to be began to wonder if they had it wrong all along, began to wonder if you and Naruto truly were just friends.

They didn’t know that you never got around to getting your own bed at Naruto’s house. That first night, you just shared his bed because you’d been doing it for so long. The same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, and the thought of getting a separate bed just didn’t seem that important. And anyways, you’d gotten used to sleeping by Naruto’s side. Naruto knew that if you got your own bed, he would just climb into yours every night.

You were only sixteen, but Naruto wanted nothing more than to spend every night by your side. He couldn’t remember a time in his life where he’d ever been so happy. There was so much on his mind all the time, the oncoming war, getting Sasuke back. And even with the chaos surrounding him, Naruto was at peace because of you. He had a confidence that everything would work out okay. He couldn’t imagine a scenario in which it wouldn’t.

It was the first time that Sakura and Ino had stopped by since you’d moved in that it was pointed out how unconventional your arrangement was. Sure, you both knew it wasn’t exactly normal, but it worked for the two of you. You didn’t see any harm in it.

Naruto was away on a mission when the girls had stopped by, needing to borrow something. When you let them in, they excitedly looked around the small studio apartment, wanting to see if and how you had changed Naruto’s place.

“Uh, where’s the other bed?” Sakura asked as you closed a cupboard, pulling out the tupperware they needed.

“Hm?” You asked, placing it on the table. “Oh, I haven’t gotten one yet. We usually just share.” You said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You’d shared your bed with Naruto so long, it no longer embarrassed you. You’d just never had a reason to mention it.

Sakura and Ino’s jaws dropped. They looked from you to each other, wondering if you were serious. You picked up on their shock, looking back at them sheepishly. “What?” You mumbled, feeling your face heating up.

“Are you guys, like, dating?” Ino placed her hand on her hip, looking at you expectedly. You shook your head.

“No, of course not. He’s my best friend! I just haven’t gotten my own bed yet. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal!?” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s a huge deal! You guys live together, share a bed together… you’re practically married!”

Ino nodded in agreement. “Sakura’s right. That’s a weird thing for two ‘best friends’ to be doing. It’s not normal.”

Sakura and Ino’s words rang through your head all day after they’d gone. Was it that weird? Sure, the whole thing had been nerve wracking at first, but now it was just part of your dynamic like everything else was. Of course you still harbored your feelings for Naruto, but you’d pushed them deep down, pretending they weren’t there in a bid to save your and Naruto’s friendship.

You were already in bed when he got back from his mission that night. He threw open the door, dropping his bag and sighing loudly. “Are you awake?” He called as he made his way to the bathroom.

“I am now,” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you heard the shower start. You yawned, your body tired despite how awake your mind was. It was a while longer before Naruto was finally ready to settle in for the night.

With a loud yawn, he dropped down on the bed beside you, stretching. “I missed this,” he said, turning over as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. He reached for you instinctively, a happy sigh leaving his lips as you cuddled into his chest.

But Naruto knew you better than anyone, and he could tell something was on your mind. “Everything okay?” He murmured against your hair, moments from falling asleep.

“Is this weird?” You asked him timidly, afraid to hear his answer.

Naruto froze for a moment before pulling away slightly, just enough so he could look down at you. “Is what weird?” He asked back slowly.

You shrugged. “Sakura and Ino stopped by today. They saw we share a bed and… I don’t know. They said it wasn’t normal.” You were afraid to voice the thought, but you couldn’t help it. The seed had been planted, and it wouldn’t stop growing.

But Naruto just rolled his eyes in response. “You’re gonna listen to them?” He asked with a small laugh. “What do they know about normal?”

“They said it was only normal for people that were, like, in a relationship. Not people that were just friends…”

Naruto was quiet, and you could tell he was mulling over the information, no doubt wondering--much like you were--if they had a point. He pulled away even more, and you could see in the moonlight that he was blushing. “Are we just friends?”

The words hit you like a freight train, knocking the breath straight from your lungs. You weren’t ready for this conversation. Things had been going so well, you’d been so happy and comfortable. You weren’t ready for things between you and Naruto to change, not yet. But now you didn’t have a choice.

“Do you want to be?” You whispered back.

The silence lingered, heavy and suffocating. You felt ready to cry. You loved Naruto. You didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer, but you didn’t want to lose him either. If he didn’t feel the same way… You didn’t know what you’d do. You couldn’t think of anything any more devastating.

Reluctantly, you brought your eyes up to meet Naruto’s brilliant blue ones. They were staring earnestly into yours, searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked. Slowly, shakily, he brought his hand up to your face, brushing your hair back. His touch was soft, barely there, and it sent shivers up your spine.

Finally, he leaned in to you, bringing his lips to brush against yours in a sweet, shy kiss. The motion was unsure, nervous. He’d been dying to do that for months now, and he had no idea how you would react.

Naruto’s kiss sent your head reeling. You’d always thought that kissing Naruto would send your heart racing, but instead it slowed, calming every nerve in your body.

When Naruto pulled away, he was wearing a grin that matched yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” He told you, stroking your cheek. You could only smile in response, pulling him in to kiss you once more

Naruto had gone his whole life touch starved and alone. Affection was so scarce, he hadn’t even known what he was missing.

Sharing a bed, sleeping next to you, kissing you goodnight. It wasn’t scary or unsure.

It felt like coming home.

[ekaterinatepes]

Nothing but the Best

Author’s note: it’s getting interesting here ;) enter prince charming Sugu-kun to save the day.

IX.

https://youtu.be/uhoiqVPmURE

Satoru was afraid of making a move, least he tipped you over the edge and made you bolt; he didn’t want that. Swallowing hard he looked into your eyes… God… he had missed your beautiful E/C eyes so much. Waking up every morning without you by his side, without you kissing him awake cause he was going to be late for work… again. Your absence had left a literal infinite void in his heart that he was unable to fill.

“I know I don’t deserve anything from you Y/N, but I love you and I cannot give up on us… We said forever when we got married. And I want that… with you” speaking from the heart was not something Satoru ever did. He always preferred to cover any emotions with inappropriate jokes and double entendres. But he knew he couldn’t play his stupid games, not with you and most certainly not now.

You pulled away in that moment, as if his touch was burning you. He allowed it, doing his utmost effort not to pull you back in. His hands itched resting at his sides, missing the warmth of your body.

|||

It was you and me, it seemed to last forever

The way you taste and I still remember… the sounds we made.

|||

“It would have been nice if you felt that way before you decided to ruin this marriage. Where were those promises of forever when you fucked someone else?” You asked piercing his eyes with yours. He cowered under your glare. Satoru had never been on the receiving end of your wrath and now he understood why most people chose (wisely) to not mess with you. Every single one of your words was chosen carefully to cause the most damage. At the same time… what hurt the most was that you were right.

“Leave and don’t ever come back… you and I… are through…” Satoru noticed how you avoided calling him by his name, he hated it. As if uttering his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth “Y/N…” he whispered pleadingly when you took another step away. But this time he didn’t have the courage to stop you as you disappeared inside your apartment and locked the door behind you.

|||

I bet you wish you had me back! Another chance to gain it, just like that. The best you ever had.

|||

Satoru was fucked.

—————

The next morning Suguru’s plane landed. JFK international airport was as busy and chaotic as one would expect. After collecting his luggage he made his way to a cab giving the driver your current address.

He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink during the trip, his mind swarmed with all the possibilities of what could be happening right now. Satoru didn’t play fair and of course… you loved (probably still love) the lucky bastard.

With a sigh he decided to focus instead on the city going by through the cab’s windows. It wasn’t the first time he was in New York and his mind was much more occupied torturing him instead of appreciating the landscape.

After 40 minutes, Geto stood before a very nice and modern building located in the upper east side called Hawthorn Park. You sure knew how to live in luxury. He approached the doorman and let him know his name and that he was here to see Miss Ekaterina Petrova to which the kind looking old man responded by using his intercom to contact you. Geto was soon granted access and guided to the elevator.

The elevator doors opened on the 21st floor, he walked to the door of your apartment which was already open and you were waiting for him. His smile fell once he noticed you have been crying “oh Kitten” dropping his luggage on the spot he surrounded your body in his arms “I’m so sorry…” one didn’t need to be a genius to know Satoru had found you.

You both moved inside your apartment. Settling on the spacious couch you buried your face on Suguru’s lap as you cried. He stroked your now darker strands of h/c hair without a word exchanged. He knew you needed to let it all out. After what seemed an eternity you sat back up. Suguru gently dried your eyes.

“He was here last night…” you whispered in a raw and scratchy voice, result of your endless hours of distress before his arrival “he told me he loved me, that he left Sookie” scoff “and hear this… he left her because the baby wasn’t his!” Talk about karma at its best. Suguru already knew that but he was surprised to hear Satoru had come clean about it to you “He probably thought I would fall for that! But I didn’t” you added firmly.

Suguru was proud of you. He knew how hard it was for you to resist Satoru but you stood tall and proud when it mattered the most. “What do you want to do now?” Where you planning on moving again?

-

“I’m not leaving…” you said looking into Suguru’s liquid amber gaze. You couldn’t help but notice once again he had such pretty eyes, like a cat. You’ve always liked them, specially when they looked at you with such tenderness. You have missed him dearly during all this time.

“I can’t keep running away from him; I mean… it’s obvious he won’t stop and I… I am tired of molding my life to adapt to his whims. I’m staying here whatever happens. Sugu… I got the part for the Swan Lake!” You added remembering you haven’t talked to him during the last week and so he didn’t know about your latest accomplishment.

Geto’s eyes enlarged before a huge smile split his handsome face and his massive frame engulfed you in a tight hug. Of course he knew everything about ballet, he was your best friend after all. This was huge! Probably as big as making it in the ballet world meant “I’m so proud of you Kitten!” He said excitedly kissing your temple. Maybe not everything was as bad as he thought.

You were upset, it was true. But then again you were not prepared last night. Satoru had taken you by surprise. Now… you knew he was here and more or less knew what to expect from your soon to be ex-husband.

“Thank you Sugu…” you stopped and pulled back just slightly to look into his eyes from your height. He was a very tall man compared to you “I missed you” you said with a bright smile to which Geto replied with one of his own before pulling you in again for another hug “I missed you too Kitten” stroking your back softly Suguru decided he was happy to be here… with you.

-

https://youtu.be/3oSXqLgoSq4

|||

She's given up, been holding on for way too long

She's had enough

He's coming home again

But it's too late 'cause she won't stay with him

|||

The sunshine hitting his face was what woke him up. With a grunt Satoru rolled over on his side only to fall unceremoniously from the couch where he had passed out last night. The last thing he remembered was warping back to his hotel after you left him on the roof. The memory of you, turning your back on him and walking away squeezed his heart in a painful grasp.

Alcohol was never something he was attracted to, he liked to keep his brain constantly alert and stimulated. It served a purpose of course, it kept his infinity barrier on at all times, even when he was asleep. But last night he hit rock bottom. He didn’t care anymore…

As soon as he got back to the hotel, hopelessness made a home in his chest, sitting heavy on his heart. Walking to the fully stocked bar placed on the corner of his suite he opened a bottle of whiskey. He started slow since most everything was too bitter for his taste, so he went through the process of trying every single bottle until he found something to his liking.

Two hours and about fifteen different shots of everything he decided to settle for a bottle of Amaretto, some fancy Italian liquor made of apricot kernels. It was sweet.

Everything else after that was blur. Moving his sore body from the floor he forced himself to go to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help ease his misery. Peeling off his clothes the smell of booze clinging on them made Gojo cringe. He decided to brush his teeth before showering. Looking in the mirror he couldn’t recognize the man starring back at him. He was a mess.

|||

Are we just ghosts out in the night?

Are we just waiting for a light that doesn't shine?

Are we just faking or is this real?

'Cause I don't know how to feel

Are we just ghosts now, you and I?

|||

Last night he had been so desperate, so hopeless and broken hearted. That’s when it hit him… his wife didn’t hurt him, she didn’t cheat on him (unlike himself), she didn’t do anything to him and yet he was feeling as if the world was collapsing around him. He lied, cheated and fucked up everything for them both.

Guilt…

Unadulterated, burning and suffocating guilt was consuming him. He felt bad before but it wasn’t until last night that he grasped the concept that Y/N didn’t owe him anything at all and that HE didn’t deserve it anyways.

The plan originally had been to get back in your good graces by doing penitence, submitting to your every whim and desire by becoming your devoted slave for as long as you would have it. He never even considered the possibility that his wife DID NOT WANT to forgive him in the first place.

He thought you left to give him a lesson, that you would eventually come back to him after he had a taste of what it was like to lose you.

But even after you both shared such a searing kiss, so passionate that every cell in his body was humming, aflame with desire you still managed to walk away from him as if it meant nothing to you.

What good did it do to him to be the strongest when he couldn’t even protect his wife… from himself.

After showering, changing clothes and ordering every sweet pastry and desert from the room service menu Gojo stopped to rethink his strategy.

What?…

Did you think he was going to stop there?

Absolutely no, love!

If anything, your rejection had only fueled his need to get you back.

“Time for plan B” sighing he pulled out his phone it rang a couple times before someone answered “good morning Mrs. Mazzo, this is Gojo Satoru. I’m going to need you to forward to me Miss Petrova’s rehearsal schedule…”

—

“This is really good!” You hummed happily after swallowing a bite of your steak. Suguru sat across from you at Keens Steakhouse, with a grin he watched as you indulged yourself in what you called your ‘cheat meal’ of the month. Being a professional ballerina was a tough and demanding commitment that controlled every aspect of your life, from how you train to what you eat. Despite it all, Geto knew you always found a happy balance that worked just fine for you.

Seeing your big smile made his heart jump in his chest, you were as beautiful and alluring as the day he met you. If only he had told you he liked you before Satoru did. This question kept him up at night, playing all sorts of scenarios in his mind. If he had taken the first step… would things have been different? Would you have ended up together? Married? Shaking his head he tried to focus on what you were actually saying. Deviating his thoughts to that kind of scenarios was dangerous. He also didn’t want to push it when he was perfectly aware you were still healing; he wasn’t a low life piece of shit to take advantage of your vulnerability.

But when you smiles at him as if he was the only thing in your world, when you held his hand across the table, playing with his finger, his throat felt dry and tight.

“What do you think Sugu?” Your curious and expecting eyes caught him like a deer in the headlights “I’m sorry Kitten, I was distracted. Could you repeat that please?” He asked with an affable smile.

You chuckled and stroke his hand softly “you look tired, did you sleep at all in the plane?” He shook his head “no, I didn’t. I never can, it’s uncomfortable” he hid on purpose the true reason why he hadn’t been able to sleep “come on Sugu! Let’s go back home! I bet you are tired” you said offering him a sweet smile.

After paying your bill you walked the few blocks back home. Suguru of course would be staying with you in the spare room of your penthouse. Holding hands while you talked to him about the activities the city had to offer, your schedule and how you intended to fit the time to do some tourism with him. “You don’t have to bother Kitten, I know you are busy enough with your job, I will be fine” he insisted.

You stopped on your tracks and stood in front of him, pouting, making him chuckle. You looked every bit the kitten he knew you to be, all bothered and moody “no! I want to spend time with you too you know! I haven’t seen you in so long! I’m not going to waste this chance!” You insisted to which Suguru threw his hands up in the air “I surrender Kitten! Do with me as you will” you giggled and then blushed. “Uh… eh… ok! I will!” He took your hand again and you both resumed your walk.

-

Satoru warped to the roof top of the building adjacent to yours, the lights were out in your apartment and he couldn’t sense your presence inside. You left? Where did you go?

Before a second though he warped inside your apartment but he saw all your stuff was still there, maybe you went out for groceries or something?

After a few minutes sitting on your couch he decided to wait for you on the street so he could see when you got home.

(Almost an hour later)

Oh… he wasn’t ready for what he saw.

“That mother fu….” Satoru grinds his teeth watching you walk down the street holding onto Suguru’s hand while talking distractedly. From his hiding spot in front of your building he closed his hands in a tight fist.

Well, this complicated things… a lot more.

————-> Chapter 10

———————————-

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[boldlyvoid]

ain't it fun?

summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

warnings: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Trauma Bonding, narcotics anonymous meetings, Strangers to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, meet-cute,

word count: 3.3K

a/n: this is completely self-indulgent and overly personal but i def recommend writing why spencer would love you as a form of therapy

read on ao3

In the blink of an eye, she was up and racing around her apartment. Her mental health was like a teeter-totter, and right now she was on her way to the top. Mania was creeping in; changing from just anxiety-induced butterflied to the feeling that she could jump off a building and survive.

That was never a good time. All she wanted was to either spend all her money, fuck a stranger or get high as shit. It made her legs jumpy and her ears ring and she couldn’t take it anymore. It was all too much.

She threw on a sweater and jeans, her hair was up in a butterfly clip and she hastily threw on her fanny pack full of everything she needed as well as a big coat, and she then left her apartment. She got to the stairs before realizing she actually needed to lock the door.

Her hands shook and she tried to slide the key into the lock, dropping them as her neighbour rushed out of the room and startled her. “Sorry,” she heard him say.

She picked up her keys and turned to look at him, “can you help me? I can’t seem to stop shaking,” she asked as she held her keys towards him.

“yes, sure,” he rushed the words out as he walked towards her, only looking at the keys, never in her eyes. But that was okay, she was never a big fan of eye contact.

He placed her keys back in her hand and took a step back, “are you alright?” he asked.

“No,” she said honestly. “I’m going to find an NA meeting.”

“Do you have one in the area? I haven’t seen you around before?”

She shook her head, surprised that he was also an addict, he didn’t look like he’s ever even smoked weed.

“No, I moved in only a little while ago on a whim, but I think it’s time I got some support,” she said as they started to walk down the hallway together. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Spencer,” he smiled softly. “I’m going to a meeting right now, actually, if you’d like to come? I won’t exactly be anonymous to you, but it’s a good one to go to if you just need one to fill the void until you find your preferred group.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I need.” She smiled at him this time as he held the door open for her. “So, have you lived around here for long?”

“For about a few years now.”

“The building is good then? I was a little hesitant but I needed to get away,” she said, this time holding the door for them to leave the building and turn down the street towards where she knew the subway was.

The moon should be out, she looked up but only sees buildings. It was the one thing she missed the most about not being in the country; seeing the stars and feeling like there was a reason to it all.

“Are you running from someone?” He asks as they start the walk down to the meeting.

“Myself,” she said softly. “I’m on disability and don’t drive and I lived in the middle of nowhere with my parents, well into my 20’s, and I needed a change so my parents surprised me by saving up money for a few month's rent and told me to follow my heart.”

“And you picked Virginia?”

“I stayed in Virginia, just moved into the city. I watch a lot of murder documentaries in my free time, I thought being near Quantico would introduce me to some interesting people, but I have yet to meet anyone from the FBI at all.”

She laughed to herself at how dumb it was that she wanted to meet a profiler like Holden Ford from Mindhunter, “either they are all very good at keeping their jobs secret or Virginia is a very large and densely populated area with a low percentage of FBI agents.”

“Interesting.”

“What?”

“How long have you lived here?” he asked, slowing as he walked so he could look at her.

“2 months.”

“It took you two months to meet the FBI agent across the hall from you.”

“You’re kidding?” she said, stopping on the sidewalk abruptly. “I knew that apartment was calling me for a reason.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but, are you really just coincidentally my neighbour or are you secretly spying on me because you have an evil plan to kill me and my co-workers?” he's completely serious, it's almost scary.

“No offence, Spence, but for a supposed FBI agent that’s a dumb question to ask,” she said, pointing finger guns at him, “you don’t think I’ll give up my cover that easily? Do you?”

He points a finger gun back at her, “technically, I’m a doctor.”

The two of them narrow their eyes at each other, slowly walking in a circle, still facing each other with their make-believe guns trying to hold back smirks. She lowered her ‘weapon’ first. “It’s okay, doctor, don’t worry. I’m not a spy just an idiot with an imagination.”

He giggled softly, “I’ve never felt this comfortable with someone this fast.”

“Well, you are with criminals a lot, right? That would be alarming if you bonded with them,” she said, bumping her shoulder into his as they walked. “But I feel the same. I actually haven’t talked to someone in person in forever.”

“No?”

“I do most of my work and socializing online,” She felt embarrassed, but in today’s day and age, it wasn’t that weird. “I’m not very good outside or with people.”

“If it wasn’t for my job, I don’t think I would go outside very often either. My co-workers are my only friends, they’re more like my family actually.”

“That’s so wonderful to hear, found family is very important,” her smile disappeared as she thought about how alone she was. “Um, can I ask what it is you do at the FBI?”

“Behavioural Analysis.”

“Holy shit," she gasps, knowing way too much about that unit thanks to fucking Netflix, "that’s what the BSU became right? Do you work with the really fucked up shit?” she asked softly.

He laughed, “oh yeah, I really do.”

“Do you share a lot at NA?”

“Kinda, I tend to ramble about facts when I’m nervous so sometimes my short talk becomes more like a ted talk and what was supposed to be just me saying I haven’t relapsed on Dilaudid becomes a lesson on how the human brain works,” he explained, rambling just like he said he would.

She nodded along as he spoke, “funny, that was also my drug of choice.”

“Liquid or oral?”

“Oral. I was given it after I had my appendix out when I was 17. They get you started real young now, big pharma has its hand in everyone's pocket,” she presses her lips together awkwardly, “it was rough.”

He hummed in agreement. “I was held captive by an unsub with multiple personalities. One personality drugged me till I died and the other one brought me back.”

“Spencer, Holy fuck?” she stopped and stared at him so incredibly concerned for someone who just met him. She reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder and looked him in the eyes, “I know I barely know you, but if you need someone to talk I’m literally always across the hall.”

“Thank you,” he smiled softly as he looked back into her eyes. “The meeting is right there across the street, do you want a coffee first? The place beside it is amazing.”

She nodded and he took her hand, looking both ways before J-walking across the street with her to buy her a coffee and a snack. Maybe that would help her stop shaking, he looked like he worried about her and she wasn't used to that at all.

He didn’t talk at this meeting, he sat in the chair beside the group leader, she sat down across from him in the circle so she could focus. When the floor was opened up to new members, Y/N stood at the first chance she got.

“Hi I’m Y/N,” she said, to which she was welcomed by the crowd.

“I’m new to the city and looking for a new home group, not sure if I’ll stay here because I know Spencer outside of here but I really just needed to come today.”

She takes a deep breath as she thinks of how to start it, opting to just explain it and let the rant go where it may.

“I’ve never lived alone before and it’s incredibly hard to occupy my time without drugs. I still smoke weed to help me sleep at night but my addiction is with Dilaudid and then Benadryl a little after having surgery in high school. I don’t know if it’s my trauma, my disability or my Autism, maybe it’s my OCD, I really don’t know, but I just feel so useless and alone and boring and lonely, the drugs used to help but they don’t anymore and I really just don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

They all looked like they understood, small smiles grew all around the circle as she took a lookout at the crowd, “Thank you for letting me get that out.”

Everyone clapped as she sat back down and wiped a tear off her cheek.

The meeting ended shortly after that, Spencer walked from his seat in the circle to where she was sitting, reaching a hand out to help her to her feet. “For the record, I think you’re funny, smart, kind and pretty. And you don’t have to be alone anymore if you don’t want to be.”

She slapped her hand into his and stood up with purpose, “Did we just become best friends?”

“I believe we did.”

The walk home was much like the walk there. They traded facts, they flirted, they laughed, she pushed him into a pole at one point, by accident as they laughed. The two of them stopping to sit at a bus bench, laughing so hard she felt like she would pee her pants right then and there.

By the time they were back on their floor, it was well after midnight. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to meetings with you.”

“Oh, why?” he looked disappointed.

“Isn’t rule 13 that you’re not supposed to want to sleep with your group members when you’re healing?”

“Wanting to and doing it are two very different things,” he corrected her as he waited at his own door.

She smirked, “you’re right. Still don’t think I can go back with you, however.”

“I’ll probably have a case tomorrow, they normally take me out of town for at least a week, but when I get back, can I see you?” he asked lightly.

“Knock on my door when you get back,” she said before standing on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. “See you.”

“Bye.”

They waved from their doors before departing, excited by something that felt better than drugs.

—

120 hours later there was a light knock at her door, she knows exactly how long it’s been because she’s been counting and looking out the door at every noise for the whole time he’s been gone. Waiting for him like a wife whose husband went off to war, not knowing when their next correspondence would be.

“Coming,” she called, stopping to fluff her hair and straighten her glasses before she opened the door.

“Spencer!”

“Hi,” he said softly.

She took a moment to look him over, a little in shock at what she saw. He was in a plain t-shirt and track pants, he had not one, but two black eyes, bandages on his brow bone and scrapes all along his arms.

“Are you okay?”

“You should see the other guy,” he giggled softly, rolling his eyes.

“Come in, let’s sit you down.” She worried, taking him by the elbow and helping him inside.

“I’m fine, really, I’m used to this.”

“Well I’m not,” she reminded him with a nervous pout, “am I allowed to ask about it or is it classified stuff?”

He sat on the couch and patted a seat beside himself so she would join him. He rested his arm against the back of the chair so that she could slide in beside him.

“Did you hear about the child abduction in Tampa?”

“Yeah? The two boys?”

“I was trying to talk the unsub down and he dropped the gun but he grabbed me as I turned him around and punched me in the face and we fell into the ditch and I luckily managed to flip over him and get his hands behind his back and cuffed faster than I ever have before.”

“You’re amazing,” she whispered.

He laughed, “if I really was, I would have waited for backup before talking to the guy.”

“I’ve always wanted to help other people get justice but not being able to go to school makes it hard to get a job doing anything meaningful,” she whispered, ashamed of the fact she wasn’t successful like most people her age.

“Our technical analyst was hired because she was an amazing hacker, they will hire anyone who is valuable.” He shrugs and watches her face light up at the idea.

“You know what, we have meetings all this week unless there’s an emergency, if you want I can show you around the office?” he offered. “It’s not illegal for you to pass by what I’m working on and notice something I missed.”

“Spencer, I don’t even know your last name and you’re inviting me to your government job? When just last week you asked, not so jokingly, if I was a secret agent trying to kill you and that you’ve been kidnapped before?”

“Doctor Spencer Reid, and what can I say?” he said shyly, “I’m trying to find excuses to see you smile all the time.”

She placed her hand on his cheek, the tips of her fingers lightly resting on his purple and yellow bruised eyes. She leaned in slowly and kissed him on the lips, so gently as if she’s afraid he’ll break or turn into a frog… he was too good to be true.

“You can see me whenever you want, Doctor Spencer Reid…”

He kissed her again, letting his hands roam her back and she trailed her free hand down his chest. She pulled back slightly to throw a leg over him carefully and sit in his lap. Holding his face in her hands now, she peppered kisses over his bruised face.

She stopped to look at him, still holding his face in her hands as his hands now rested on her hips. “I really like you, Spencer.”

“Really?”

She looks at him carefully, analyzing his response and seeing the hurt that rested deep inside of him, “I take it you’re like me?”

“What does that mean?”

“You try to not get too involved with people because no one has ever shown you true genuine interest or love, and you never think you’ll find it anyway so you push away all small acts of kindness, thinking it’s friendly because then you can’t get your hope up, just to have that person drop them?” she explained herself in a whisper.

He nodded, “you get it.”

She kissed his lips again, and then over his cheek and up to his ear, “I do.”

He looked extra sad when she pulled away, she just held his face gently as she mirrored his puppy dog eyes. Communicating with their eyes, she knew he was okay and he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so she smiled.

“Want to watch a movie?” She asks softly.

He nods, looking behind her to see she doesn’t have a tv in the living room. “How?”

“In my room, the TV is on my dresser if you don’t mind sitting in my bed?”

He shakes his head in a simple no, picking her up and taking her to her room. He knew where it was purely because her apartment was just his but backwards. She laughs, holding onto him tight as she rests her head on his shoulder.

He sets her down gently, watching her move up to the headboard and wait for him. They got under the blankets and she found the remote in the sheet before she cuddled into him.

“You’re really cuddly,” she complimented him as he wrapped an arm around her and held her close. He kissed the top of her head as a thank you.

“I think I’m going to end up falling in love with you, Spencer Reid,” she whispers the words, afraid of them more than his response.

“I beat you to it,” he whispers right back.

She shoots up, turning to look at him with surprise. “How?”

He looks at her like she grew two heads, “what do you mean how?”

“How did you fall in love with me? You don’t even know me?” She’s so confused, no one has ever loved her before and it’s a lot to take in.

“Y/N…” his face drops, his heart physically breaks in front of her. “I don’t know you, you're right. Not all of you, at least. I’m sure you have your hidden doors and locked cupboards but from the outside, I see you’re so beautiful, you’re radiant… your mind is lovely. You’re so kind, you’re so brave, you’re everything I wish I could be as charismatically as you are.”

She’s just swallowing over and over as she shakes her head and breathes through her nose, processing it. She’s breathing deeply then, staring off and she feels like she’s having a new kind of panic attack. A happier one, somehow?

“I don’t like myself, but if you like me I guess I must be pretty nice,” she smiles, accepting his praise and believing him. “Yeah. Thank you, Spencer.”

He smiles then, it’s cute and press-lipped and she swears he almost has dimples. His eyes are like honey and his lips are like roses. She leans in, kissing him and reaching a hand back to cup the nape of his neck.

He doesn’t know it, but he’s the first person she’s kissed in a few years. They’re soft, peck after peck as they hold each other softly, eyes open as they watch each other experience the happiness of finding someone good, finally.

“I uh, I wanted to tell you I’m almost exactly everything you described yourself as in the meeting,” he whispers against her lips, the air touching her skin gently as she absorbs the words.

“What part? My diagnosis or my self-hatred?” She smiles, okay with either really.

“Almost both, I’m pretty hard to be around.”

She shakes her head, “I invited you in for a movie, not a pity party. You can tell me everything you hate right now and then we should just share the good parts okay? Brag about yourself. Tell me what you’re proud of.”

She was really serious, keeping a stern look on her face as she spoke. He nodded, “I’m anxious all the time, I’m always worried because I’ve never had anyone to worry about me. I don’t know how to be a real person really, all I do is drink coffee and solve crimes and I barely sleep. And the only time I was relaxed and okay is when I was on drugs.”

She nodded, “it fucking sucks, doesn’t it? Like why did we get stuck like this, I don't care about peaking in high school but didn’t we deserve some kind of love and support? I’ve never understood if souls and shit are real, why did mine pick this terrible meat suit and awful traumatic path?”

She’s crying because she’s angry and because she’s never said it to anyone before. He cries because she understands. She truly knows.

“I love you,” he announces. “Just because of that.”

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