#but if you have any questions about the lore then let me know
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Hello! Do you have any advice on how to handle an inherently fictional facial difference (that was caused by a fictional reason and while may have some partial crossover/parallels with elements of real world FDs, ultimately is a fictional one and is specific to the world/lore) in a way that would not come off as harmful to real facial differences? I also have some characters with actual real life FDs in the story, but maybe there's something else I should consider?
Also, what is your opinion on fictional disabilities in general? Not when the story just has a vague disability that can't be strongly connected to anything specific from real life, but when author specifically develops a fictional condition/disability/chronic disease etc in context of/based on elements of their fictional world?
Hello!
A fictional facial difference has basically the same potential pitfalls as any other fictional disability. You can take a look at this post where we talked about what not to do, TLDR: make sure it's actually a fictional disability and not just one you haven't heard of yet and be mindful of what real conditions it could be reminiscent of (and avoid stereotypes accordingly).
It's good that you also have characters with actually existing disabilities, it honestly annoys me to no end when people boast about their "disability rep" while all they have is 20 different "magic character can't do magic" characters. So this is definitely a big plus.
The only thing you need to keep in mind is to not split the two (character with fictional FD vs characters with IRL FD) into separate categories, consciously or not. Don't treat the one with a made-up FD as better or as inherently prettier than "those other people". Ideally they're all just treated the same in the story since that's the only option that makes logical sense.
Also, it was mentioned already in the post I linked, but unless you have some very specific scenario you purposefully want to do and actually comment on, avoid making the cause of her FD either 1) result of her parents doing Evil Drugs or black magic or whatever or 2), contagious. Very little FDs have those origins, but many are stereotyped or downright accused of being such.
Other than that, think of the same stuff as you would with IRL facial differences existing in a story. How does society treat them? What is the acceptance level? Are the majority of people knowledgeable (a person can know exactly nothing about being disabled and still be kind and accepting; it's not exclusive)? Are FDs more common because medicine is less advanced?
For the last question; it depends. If it has symptoms that real people have, there are gonna be real people who will relate to it (if done well) and real people who might be offended by how it's portrayed (if done badly).
Let's say your setting has a magic toxic flower that causes lower limb paralysis and/or weakness after someone steps on it - that's fictional, but there are many real world disabilities that share similar symptoms, even if the cause is obviously very different. If this was the fictional disability, the characters who have it would probably share the same community as characters with SCI, neuropathy, MS, etc.; it's based in fantasy but it's easy to imagine that it could be real.
In this context you should be researching the symptoms - leg paralysis and weakness - and potential treatments - physical therapy, learning how to walk with orthoses/crutches, painkillers, etc. Real readers with real symptoms will be able to relate to this kind of fantasy disability.
But let's say the fictional disability mainly presents as chronic pain and muscle spasms caused by the person not using magic enough. This on the other hand, doesn't work as a (respectful) fantasy disability. The main "accusation" people with chronic pain get is that we are lazy and if we just did more of [usually exercise] we would be cured - it doesn't work like that, and it would be frankly offensive to make a whole illness where the chronic pain is caused by someone not waving their wand enough or whatever. No one will be relating to this because it's not based on how stuff works, it's based on a stereotype. "It's fantasy" isn't a get out of jail free card, you still have to be conscious of what you are implying.
As long as you do research and keep in mind which real things your fantasy disabilities resemble (e.g. Hansen's disease and ALS will have very different stereotypes attached to them) so you can avoid making a connection you don't want to make.
Hope this helps,
mod Sasza
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Genuine question, but where did you pick up "the Brother cult is a common religion in modern day Remnant" from? At least, I'm pretty sure you've said this before on here; my memory is pretty bad lol.
I'm just curious since I've been rewatching RWBY lately, and i remembered that, and I thought it was interesting bc I never once saw or picked up on anything that would suggest that in canon (unless it's like, a headcanon on your part, in which case feel free to ignore me, I'm not here to needlessly criticize a fun headcanon if that's the case loll, i have my own fantasy religion headcanons bc I'm unhinged abt worldbuilding).
If you don't mind, I want to explain my reasoning/thoughts on why I don't think the Brothers are worshipped on modern Remnant (feel free to pick them apart):
-> Qrow says that "not many people are super religious these days". Mind you, I don't take much stock at all in what characters say, especially not in RWBY (i frequently side-eye characters who speak on the Oz merge who aren't Ozpin himself, Light, or Jinn), but i feel like this would be an odd thing to say if it wasn't true. This is supported by The Shallow Sea fading into just a 'fanciful creation myth', as well as none of the main or even side characters being religious (though it could be bc it's just not important) nor discussing religion. Churches don't seem to be common (aside from the one in v4), and imagery of what seem to be altars are scattered and infrequent. Religion is also never brought up when discussing the kingdoms' governments either. So, so far, Qrows line holds true.
-> When Qrow talks about the Brothers, RNJR never really shows that they recognize the story, or at least that they don't put weight on it, unlike finding out the Maidens are real. They're just like "...okay so why is that important", unlike how I imagine religious people would react to finding out their God(s) are real. Plus, Qrow has to explain it to them; if it was a well known religious story, I'm sure the writers would have written it more like "So, you know [insert religion name]? Yeah, according to Ozpin, that story is real. In case you aren't familiar, let me explain it for you... [insert convenient lore dump for the audience]". Plus, the way Qrow phrases it gives me the impression that it's an obscure story. Weaker point, though, I'll admit.
-> In any of the times that we see what *might* be evidence of religion (i.e. the candles/altar in the White Fang in v4, the church in Ruby's v4 short), there's no religious iconography depicting the Brothers (at least, nothing that I've caught). In general, there doesn't seem to be any dragon imagery in modern Remnant (again, nothing that I've caught yet).
-> It's depicted as a fairytale. When Ozpin asks for Pyrrha's favorite fairytales, the first thing she says is The Tale of the Two Brothers. It's also in his fairytale book, something i feel would've been a controversial (if extremely funny) decision if it was a popular religious story (like if you put Jesus' crucifixion in a book including rapunzel and Cinderella).
-> Also, there's no common sayings including the Brothers (like how fics like to have the characters say "Oh Brothers" and other variations).
-> And, in general, Oz's inner circle really wasn't at all concerned with the Gods or really even the Divine Mandate. All they knew was that the Gods created Remnant, humanity, the Grimm, and the Relics and promptly abandoned Remnant, and that "If someone were to collect all four [Relics], they'd be able to change the world." And that that's "exactly what the enemy wants." So they only know the absolute basics of the Mandate, and the way it's worded implies (to me, anyways) that Oz worded it in such a way that cautioned against collecting the Relics (which is very interesting to me. This also tracks with how he depicts the Mandate in TTOTTB). So in general not even the inner circle feels like Brother/Light followers to me, just Oz followers (in general i imagine the events of the infinite man made him learn that bringing up judgement day is a Bad Thing, considering before bringing it up the Circle flourished, but after spreading the message, it was immediately destroyed. Instant karma. Poor dude). Though this starts leaning into the territory of my theory that Oz actually gave up on his mission (which like, could be wrong, but I'm holding onto it until I'm proven wrong), and I'm sure you don't wanna hear that one lol.
In general it seems to me like there isn't a Brothers-centric religion so far, even though Remnant still has organized religion (albeit uncommon). But I'm honestly not sure if I missed anything? I'm sure as hell not the type to comb through every background to see if I did lol.
Sorry for the long ass ask. Take your time answering, and have fun picking apart my reasoning. Please be nice abt it tho 👉👈 I just want to know your thoughts and if i missed anything that proves it's a modern day religion :)
-🌙
okay. first, at the risk of being condescending: religious people believe that their gods are real. you know that, right? religion is not a big game of play pretend. people who practice religion do so because they believe in it.
yes, religious people can and do experience doubt. but a religious person whose doubting and questioning leads them to conclude their god(s) aren't real don't continue to practice the religion they don't believe in. i mean, they might make an outward performance of doing so if it's unsafe for them to leave and they're likely to keep cultural practices and even moral frameworks--see: ex-christians who are exactly as dogmatic and puritanical about whatever new belief system they've adopted--but people who don't believe in gods don't practice religion.
this:
They're just like "...okay so why is that important", unlike how I imagine religious people would react to finding out their God(s) are real.
is a fallacy you're making because (i presume) you aren't religious and have never been so; i suspect you just don't have any frame of reference and consequently you're projecting your own skepticism onto the hypothetical religious people in your imagination. to be clear, i don't mean this as a personal attack on you--this is a very normal thing for people to do when we're trying to conceptualize experiences that are profoundly different from our own.
my background though is evangelical christian. i was raised in a staunchly religious household attending church 2-3 times a week; i attended a christian school until transferring to public school in fifth grade; i've been to bible camps and conferences where they teach you how to evangelize to nonbelievers and that kind of thing. i'm not talking fundie cult here, to be clear--this was a relatively-by-evangelical-standards socially liberal and theologically mainstream nondenominational protestant church--but christianity was the central organizing structure of my life until i left home. i'm agnostic and fundamentally disagree with the moral framework of christianity but i know a lot of very devout christians and i'm very familiar with the religious praxis.
(including what genuine, good faith evangelical proselytization looks like--not door-to-door like what e.g. mormons do, or street corner chick tract fundie cult behavior, which is what non-christians typically think of as evangelism. but that stuff is a tactic high-control religious groups use to strengthen identification with the in-group through rejection and alienation by the out-group--evangelical churches that aren't culty don't do that, and in fact the idea that door-to-door and street corner preaching is an isolation tactic used by predatory religious groups is something that was first explained to me in sunday school by the people who taught me how to evangelize. put a pin in this for now.)
so: i'm not imagining hypothetical religious people when i say this, i'm imagining a few hundred specific religious people whom i personally know and how they would react in an equivalent situation.
what qrow does in 'a much needed talk' is he sit the kids down, goes "not many people are super religious these days… there's a lot of (false) gods people have made up throughout history, but y'know, these two are real. here's the truth…" and then tells them a simplified version of the two brothers creation myth.
he doesn't do anything to prove that these two gods, in particular, are real. he gives zero evidence. he doesn't even demonstrate that magic is real. this isn't "finding out" that the gods are real, this is uncle qrow doing a little impromptu sunday school lesson like that's an explanation for why some lunatic attacked us earlier. this is like if some rando tried to grab you on the street and pull you into an unmarked van and i saved you and me and the van guy clearly had some sort of history because he knew my full name so you asked me "WHO WAS THAT GUY. WHAT THE FUCK" and i said okay sit down, the first thing you need to know is that in the beginning, god created the heavens and the earth…
regardless of your personal religious beliefs or lack thereof, you would probably go "…what. does this have to do. with the van guy who ATTACKED ME" because that's like, truly a bizarre non-sequitur. but it's not like God Himself is descending from the heavens in a flaming whirlwind to demonstrate his existence. it's just me telling you he's real.
if you're a christian, in this scenario, that is not in any way a revelation to you. that's akin to, like, "the king of england is real." BIG IF TRUE?--you know this. you already know this. if you are a christian then you believe that the christian god exists and is the one true god. in this hypothetical scenario i'm telling you things you already know and believe foundationally to be true. a devout christian would probably respond more in the vein of "amen! god is good!" but one whose practice is casual--the christmas-and-easter christians--and secular christians would absolutely be "okay and…?" in an equivalent situation to 'a much needed talk.'
hell, come to that, i'd be asking what this has to do with the crazy guy who tried to kidnap me if i were in that situation. who cares that my dead headmaster was a true believer or whatever i want to know about the guy with the knife! you feel me?
the type of person whom i can imagine making a big deal out of qrow's little creation myth are:
reddit atheist types who cry and scream and shit bricks if they have to talk to somebody who believes in a god; you know. the kind of person categorically incapable of talking about religion in any capacity without at least one sneering "sky daddy"?
someone with no previous exposure to this religious tradition or anything remotely like it. imagine if i were to sit you down and earnestly tell you that the only Real Gods were, like, the hero twins who descended into the underworld to challenge the lords of death to a ballgame. you'd probably be like "HUH??" because hunahpú and xbalanqué are not a cultural reference point you're familiar with in the way that you're familiar with the crucifixion of jesus christ.
like, all religions are fucking weird. the christian gospels are not remotely less weird than the popol vuh, or whatever. you're just familiar with the essentials of the gospel story--even if you're not and have never been christian--because christianity is culturally dominant in the west. and the familiarity makes it normal. unremarkable.
invisible, in a way.
this is something the writers of rwby really get. if something is normal and ordinary in the world of remnant, the characters don't pay attention to it, even if it's bizarre to the audience. to use a non-religious example, civilians don't know what aura is! it's not common knowledge! we know that because jaune's never heard of it, civilians in vale are shocked and confused when penny stops a truck with her bare hands, and oscar (who has dealt with "occasional grimm" before) has no aura training and doesn't know what a semblance is. but to the rest of the characters, aura is a completely mundane aspect of their day to day lives and they're a little taken aback by characters like jaune and oscar who don't know about it.
with that in mind, i want to really underscore something about the things qrow tells RNJR in 'a much needed talk' and the way the kids react.
because. first, qrow gives them the same intro level rundown on the maidens that pyrrha got in v3--offscreen because that's shit the audience has already heard and don't need to be rehashed. the kids are like, "that's a lot to take in," and jaune in particular is like "this is all very sketchy, what the fuck is actually going on."
THEN, apropos nothing, qrow drops "not many people are super religious but These Two gods are actually real btw" and an abbreviated creation story, with NO proof and NO apparent connection to the maniacal cultist who ranted and raved about his body and soul belonging to his goddess-queen who sent him to "retrieve" ruby for her. and none of the kids express the slightest bit of skepticism about this super out of left field sunday school story, no one is like "what the fuck" or "are you drunk"--ren just goes "okay but how. is that relevant."
whereupon qrow finally tells them about the relics hidden under the schools and salem wanting them and that BAD THINGS will happen if she gets them. and then, jaune the skeptic goes: "alright, so let's say we believe all this--there really is this crazy evil being behind these attacks, not just some thugs trying to become powerful. why doesn't the world know?"
THAT'S the part he finds outrageous and difficult to believe. not that the two brothers are real, but that SALEM exists. salem. these kids literally JUST got attacked by a lunatic cultist who kept babbling about MY GODDESS HER GRACE THE QUEEN and directly stated that he is cinder's associate and referred to the white fang and torchwick as pawns, but the thing that makes them go "wait but this is crazy and makes no sense" is qrow explaining that there's a malevolent entity called salem who orchestrated the attack on beacon and sent that guy to capture ruby. like, objectively, from a purely logical standpoint, that's the least unbelievable thing that qrow tells them.
but people aren't rational agents. and one thing this scene does very effectively is establish the relative normality of each major chunk of information through the way the kids react:
maidens? "there are four special people who can do magic without dust? and when they die that power passes on to someone new? that's. well that's a lot to process but. sure."
brothers? "and this is relevant how?"
salem? "that's crazy how could someone like that possibly exist without everybody knowing about it? why should we believe any of this!?"
salem is so fucking far out of their previous understanding of how the world works that they all kind of have a kneejerk "that! can't be real!" response even though tyrian shouted from the literal rooftops that he's working for a 'goddess' who was behind the attack on beacon.
but the maidens? they have a frame of reference for magic--magic is what anyone can do with dust, and ruby…petrified a massive grimm with her eyes somehow a few months ago, so like, it's not THAT unbelievable to accept that an old story about four maidens who can do magic without dust is true, apparently.
whereas the stuff about brothers… nothing. not one of these kids so much as blinks even though. again, from a purely logical standpoint, the creation of remnant by the brothers is the most fantastical part of qrow's explanation. but the kids don't react that way, because it's normal to them. ergo they're either casual practitioners of brother-worship or brother-worship has cultural hegemony in vale and mistral, where RNJR grew up.
now! it's actually a simple matter of text whether the second possibility is true or not and this is the part of the answer where i have to just say: you're factually incorrect actually.
-> In any of the times that we see what *might* be evidence of religion (i.e. the candles/altar in the White Fang in v4, the church in Ruby's v4 short), there's no religious iconography depicting the Brothers (at least, nothing that I've caught). In general, there doesn't seem to be any dragon imagery in modern Remnant (again, nothing that I've caught yet).
there is a big statue of the dragon brothers smack in the middle of the train station in mistral. one gold, one dark. very unmistakably a depiction of Those Two. this is in v6 so if you're only up to v4 on your rewatch you can't uh, be expected to remember. (<- i am just unhinged enough about fictional religion i can tell you off the top of my head that yang and ruby swear by God in v1 but the ship captain in v4 swears "by the gods" and i think that church in ruby's character short implies maiden-worship on the basis of the statue of the cloaked young woman in front, details of this kind just stick in my memory for nerd reasons.)
[as an aside why would… the white fang… have an altar to mankind's gods… like. there are no faunus in 'the two brothers' and the culturally dominant religion among faunus is worship of the god of animals, as ozpin notes in his commentaries on 'shallow sea' & 'judgment.' the trappings of religion that we see in the white fang's private spaces are… obviously… god of animals-worship. this feels half a step shy of saying "well the altar in salem's war room doesn't have any draconic iconography, so therefore brother-worship isn't a thing." brother-worship is explicitly not the only religion in existence!]
-> Also, there's no common sayings including the Brothers (like how fics like to have the characters say "Oh Brothers" and other variations).
in v7, 'pomp and circumstance' specifically, ironwood says "brothers know you deserve it" in reference to RWBYJNR receiving their huntsman licenses. and a quick round up from the novels:
after the fall: "thank the brothers you found us," said by a bit character.
before the dawn: "thank the brothers," said by octavia; "by the brothers," said by finn asturias when he learns what his kids are planning
roman holiday: "thank the brothers," said once by neo's mother and once by a bit character.
there are also general exclamations of "my gods" or "by the gods" and general references to "the gods" both in rwby proper and ancillary materials, with "gods" being in far more frequent use than the singular "God"--gods, plural, doesn't necessarily mean the brothers every time, because qrow does make a point of noting that remnant's people, collectively, worship "dozens" of gods. but it is pretty evident that the dominant religion across the four human kingdoms has more than one god, and the coincidence of that with, taking the novels into consideration, characters from literally every kingdom except mistral which has a honking big statue of the brothers in its train station swear by the brothers… yeah the dominant religion globally is brother-worship. probably not in menagerie. but in the four human kingdoms, yeah.
-> It's depicted as a fairytale. When Ozpin asks for Pyrrha's favorite fairytales, the first thing she says is The Tale of the Two Brothers. It's also in his fairytale book, something i feel would've been a controversial (if extremely funny) decision if it was a popular religious story (like if you put Jesus' crucifixion in a book including rapunzel and Cinderella).
…and the second is 'the shallow sea,' which is also a religious myth. 'the story of the seasons' is alsowhat we'd call a myth, not a fairytale. 'the girl in the tower' is the only story pyrrha names in that scene that is actually a fairytale per se. in general the delineation we make between "fairytale" and "myth" in the real world, as discrete genres of folklore, doesn't seem to exist in remnant--legends and fairytales scattered in time, and all that. the conceit of rwby is about engaging with fairytale-as-myth, so this is a very intentional blurring; like, this is a narrative where maiden-in-tower IS the creation story, fundamentally. rapunzel is orpheus is prometheus and that's how the world was made.
and that's the kind of thing that we as the audience have to just accept as a fact of the fictional reality, because… like… gestures at 'the shallow sea.'
ozpin included THAT one in his book of fairytales, too, and in his commentary he explicitly describes it as part of a closed(!) oral tradition whose inclusion he deliberated for fear of being disrespectful. he devotes more than half of his commentary to justifying the choice to include it, and the rest to describing the myth's cultural context to his (presumed human) readers. he asks forgiveness for "overstepping himself."
and it is very obvious, in the way ozpin talks about 'the shallow sea' in particular and the book generally in his forward and afterward, that his concern is not "it is grotesquely horribly disrespectful to place this profoundly meaningful and important creation myth (of a culture that is not my own) in a collection of frivolous fairytales" but rather "this book is meant to be a collection of profoundly meaningful tales drawn from all of remnant's cultures and i believe this one is too important not to include, but i am also acutely aware that it is a closed tradition to which i do not belong." the latter is still out of pocket, but the simple fact is that a character who so obviously knows that publishing a story from a closed tradition without permission is Not Okay and so obviously feels immensely conflicted and guilty about doing so isn't a character who would blithely denigrate a myth like this by publishing it in a book of trivial fairytales. and a character who would denigrate the myth that way wouldn't agonize over whether it was important enough to be worth violating the closed tradition.
and then you consider that, out of the twelve stories ozpin put in this book, three are explicitly religious creation myths ('the shallow sea,' 'the judgment of faunus,' and 'the two brothers'), two others are myths describing the origin of natural phenomena ('the story of the seasons' and 'the gift of the moon'), and one is a mythical culture hero ('the infinite man')… so fully half the stories in this book aren't actually fairytales. they're myths.
so the inclusion of 'the two brothers' is less cinderella-and-christ than it is "here is an eclectic collection of folklore from around the world" in terms of what would be equivalent in the real world; and… like, 'the shallow sea,' 'judgment of faunus,' and 'the two brothers,' the plain text of these stories is clearly and unambiguously religious in nature, and ozpin explicitly discusses them as such.
his commentary on 'the two brothers,' in particular: "there are many versions of our creation story […] but certain elements are always consistent: they arrived from a realm outside of our own and together created the universe from nothing. and then they left us on our own." and "whether or not you believe in the brothers, or in this story in particular […] like the twin gods, we are intricately connected to each other" and, um:
Even if the gods aren’t real, even if they don’t return to judge us for our deeds, we should act each day as though they are arriving tomorrow. In the end, we will be the arbiters of our fates. We will either create a beautiful, peaceful world and live in harmony together or destroy ourselves and our planet, and the gods will judge what we have chosen.
remember how i said i'm intimately familiar with, specifically, evangelical christianity and what actual evangelism entails? not the deliberately off-putting door-to-door shit but proselytization for the purpose of bringing new people into a church that isn't a predatory high-control group?
the way ozpin talks about the brothers here, and the way qrow talks about them in 'a much needed talk,' is christian evangelism 101.
"not many people are super religious, these days." you know who says this type of thing? like, fucking constantly? evangelical christians. never mind that christianity is the majority religion in the US by a significant margin (66%!)--evangelical christians inhabit a constructed alternate reality wherein they're an embattled minority shining candlelight into a sea of darkness. (many of them accomplish this by deciding that most other christians aren't real christians; the classic protestant move of course being "catholics aren't christian" but your average evangelical takes a dim view of like. any denomination that isn't their denomination and when i tell you the nondenominationals are the worst offenders in this regard... lmao. anyways)
"not many people are super religious [christian] nowadays. people believe in all kinds of different gods and creeds, but there is only one true God"--this is literally just how evangelicals talk. both to each other and to non-believers they're hoping to interest in the church, although the tone depends on who's listening. internal discussions of this nature are strategic in nature--how do we reach people and speak to them effectively in these godless times? what is the right balance between presenting ourselves and our faith honestly while still creating a welcoming and accessible space for people who don't know jesus? how do we share what we believe with people who just don't care? and so forth--whereas the framing with nonbelievers is that it's innate in human nature to crave purpose and meaning and that everyone seeks fulfillment but few ever manage to find it because none of us are born knowing where to look, etc.
meanwhile in his commentary ozpin is doing a fantasy repackaging of the pascal's wager tactic, which like. i have sat through literal educational films on the rhetorical use of pascal's wager in effective evangelism. "well, if i believe in god and i'm wrong, i'll have lived a good, moral life and lost nothing; if you don't believe in god and you're wrong, hell" is one of THEEEE evangelist talking points. ideally, one used to open a conversation with friends and/or people who have indicated interest in talking about your faith in some way, especially if they ask "what if you're wrong?" because then the idea is to demonstrate that you're not rigidly dogmatic in your faith but instead you've given serious thought to the possibility that you might be wrong, and thus show that you understand and empathize with the nonbeliever's skepticism so as to build a genuine rapport. (whether it *works* that way in practice is highly dependent on like. charisma and actual meaningful ability to click with non-christians, which a lot of devout evangelicals… just can't even when they really earnestly do try, but ozpin as a character does have the charisma and the knack for connecting with people that can make this approach effective at getting irreligious people to give "hey, come to this church thing with me?" a shot.)
i cannot emphasize enough that after the obvious one of "directly openly stated religious beliefs," the reason ozpin and qrow specifically read to me as highly religious characters is because they talk exactly like evangelicals in secular company. they talk about and share their beliefs about the brothers the way i was taught in church to talk about christianity.
you don't go banging on people's doors or harassing them in the streets. nobody fucking likes that and it makes people not want to go to church. you don't go around with a stick up your butt about the non-christian people in your life not being christian. what you do is treat people with kindness and respect and draw firm boundaries for yourself to keep yourself safe (<- unironically growing up in an evangelical christian household is a huge part of the reason i am SO comfortable just fucking saying no to things i don't want to do and i think this is the one thing that evangelicals really have on a LOCK) while being open and honest and unapologetic about your own faith. you save the bitchy judgmental gossip and fire and brimstone garbage and like, talking about the eschaton for when it's just true believers.
evangelical christianity is an eschatological religion, by the way. in case you didn't know that. evangelicals believe that we are living in or on the cusp of the end times and the political action of evangelical christians in the united states is motivated in large part by a desire to enact the prophesied conditions that will herald the second coming of christ. for example a lot of evangelicals like trump because they think he's a divine implement of the great tribulation. evangelicals are obsessed with and actively trying to enact the apocalypse. and rwby is straight up the only fictional story i've ever encountered that understands how an eschatological cult operates because you can NOT advertise that shit. it FREAKS PEOPLE OUT. you keep the "i want the world to be riven by unprecedented catastrophe and suffering so i can be taken up to heaven in the rapture while the wrath of almighty god crushes what remains as grapes in a winepress" between yourself and the other doomsday cultists.
it's not like. SECRET. it's in the bible. but very few non-christians bother to actually read the bible and the ones who do are just not going to have the cultural context to know how very deadly serious evangelicals in particular are about the book of revelation or how much of a core pillar the eschatology is to evangelicalism; meanwhile american evangelicals are knowingly deliberately voting for the apocalypse. similarly,
“We must take back our gifts,” the God of Darkness said. “Reclaim our power and wipe this experiment from existence.”
“I disagree,” the God of Light said. “And we promised to share in the fate of our joint creation.” He gave a mighty yawn. “Let us rest, and when the time comes, we will see what Humanity has become in our absence. At that point, we will judge them. If they are worthy, we will take their forms and walk among them as equals. If not, we will take back our gifts and start over elsewhere. What do you say?”
“Who will decide whether they are worthy?” the God of Darkness said.
“Humanity will make it plain. If they come together in unity and find a way to destroy the evil in the world and within themselves, then they are worthy. If not … we will let them burn,” the God of Light said.
“So shall it be.” The two brothers agreed. But even in rest, they needed some distance from each other. Each dragon transformed himself into a new continent at one end of their world.
And there the dragons still sleep, until the day that the gods will waken, rise, and judge.
ozma's mandate is not a secret. the apocalyptic final judgment is clearly and emphatically spelled out in the myth of the two brothers, which he included in an anthology of tales intended for the general public and annotated to the effect of "i believe this one is true and even if you don't you should act like you do. btw. because it's true" YEAH MAN WE GET IT.
(he also asserts apropos nothing in his commentary on 'the gift of the moon'--a myth that does not mention the brothers at all--that the sun is a "celestial gift from the all-powerful god of light," so either 'the gift of the moon' is brother-cult doctrine or ozpin is pointing at a myth from another tradition and making it about his god.)
the main difference between ozpin and your average evangelical is that ozpin fears the end times because he doesn't believe anyone will be spared. but his behavior is the same. his way of presenting his religiosity in a way that minimizes and obfuscates the eschatological intention at the core is the same, if not more intense because the material reality of his situation, as the accursed chosen one literally commanded by God Himself to immanentize the eschaton, is a lot more terrifying and desperate. 'the infinite man' is quite literally a veiled autobiographical story about how he figured out that he CAN'T… go around just… TELLING EVERYBODY… that he's MAKING READY FOR THE FINAL JUDGMENT.... because people don't fucking like that and will kill him and put his cult to the sword about it.
that emphatically does not mean that he doesn't still believe in it; it means that he has, in the same way that evangelical christians in real life have, figured out how to code-switch. there's the public face for mixed company where you're friendly and humble and make a concerted effort to live by the virtues of your faith while being open and unapologetic about your religious identity while maintaining a posture of respectful invitation toward everyone else and engaging in meaningful ways with people you personally know to gently encourage them to explore your faith…
…and there's the private face for when it's just you and your fellow true believers and you're talking in intricate detail about how current world events line up with this or that prophesy about the end times. ozpin in public is the mixed-company evangelical to a T. and ozpin in private with people who have been informed of the whole situation re: maidens, relics, salem is like "i am the divinely-ordained champion of the gods and we must stop her from getting her hands on the relics that My Schools were built as fortresses to defend."
in 'the lost fable' these kids literally hear the god of light say with his whole chest that mankind will be found irredeemable and destroyed if they are "unchanged," and they do not even blink. 3.75 volumes spanning months later, they STILL haven't really registered that the god of light holds the view that not a single person alive on the planet RIGHT NOW TODAY deserves to live. why?
because they knew that part already. not the precise detail of ozma being the one who's meant to decide when the world is fit for divine judgment and actively invite the brothers back, but the final judgment and the need for humans to be United when the day of judgment comes lest they be burned to ashes? They Knew That. it is invisible to them except inasmuch as salem embodies, to them, the danger that mankind will be condemned, because it's normal. regardless of their personal religious beliefs or degree of religiosity, they're all familiar with this story to the point that hearing God Himself promise to exterminate everybody didn't even mildly startle them. they knew.
like. fundamentally. the story as-written and the way the characters present in the lost fable do not react whatsoever to the divine ultimatum does not make sense unless every single one of them already knew the story about the dragon-brothers who created the world and then departed and will return to judge humanity's worth, to either reward them with completion or wipe them from existence. and because the kids seem to fall in the zone of irreligious to casually religious the simplest and most likely explanation is that there is a global hegemony of brother-worship, akin to christianity in the west.
taps the sign. and this sign too.
like. in one sense it's a question of your frame of reference and specifically whether you know what deeply religious people are like and how an eschatological religion actually functions in the real world or if your mental model for what this looks like is drawn from, like, pop culture fundamentalist caricatures. i can tell you that the way qrow segues into and tells the brothers creation myth is something i can imagine almost verbatim coming out of the mouths of elders in my parents' church and that ozpin's commentary on the same myth is a point-for-point translation of christian evangelism into his fictional religion. i can tell you that your presupposition that a religious person "finding out" the god(s) they believe in really do exist would feel any kind of surprise or revelation about it is baldly incorrect in a way that leads me to believe you have zero real personal experience with religion or religious people. i can tell you that your presupposition that the secular democratic institutions of government in the kingdoms means there can't be a religious cultural hegemony of brother-worship (or any other religion) is, again, just factually not correct.
but in another and, in many ways, more important sense: rwby is a story about a religious conflict. there are two gods who destroyed the last world and a promised day of judgment that will be ushered in by four divine relics, each guarded by fortresses that act as the central hub for each plot arc, and the overarching narrative conflict is about a power struggle between two people--the immortal agent of rebellion against the gods and the divinely-appointed chosen one tasked with preparing for the final judgment--fighting for control of these relics. that's the plot.
why are you reading scenes where the characters intricately involved in this power struggle talk about religious matters like the existence of gods and divine relics and divinely-ordained tasks as evidence that these characters… aren't religious? why are you reading actual myths that are textually presented as religious stories as… not a religion? why are you looking at a character commanded by God Himself to unite mankind, who in the present day speaks incessantly of the importance of unity and existential threat of division, who annotates the aforementioned explicitly religious myth with an exhortation to act each day as if the gods will return to judge you tomorrow, and concluding that he… is not religious and does not fundamentally believe in any of it?
what do you think a religion is?
and in this story, of all stories--when the central narrative conflict is overtly a war over divine relics left behind by the gods for the sole purpose of bringing about the final day of divine judgment--why in the world is it your baseline assumption that religion is not something that matters very much within the world of the story? why do you take qrow saying "not many people are super religious these days" completely at face value to mean "most people are agnostic/atheist and religion has no cultural relevance whatsoever" even though the next thing out of his mouth is "but these two gods are REAL" and even though, a single volume prior, his colleague said "what we're telling you goes against hundreds of years of human history, religion" and insinuate that consequently the truth would cause uproar and panic to justify keeping the maidens a secret?
i think that ozpin and his inner circle are religious because they speak and act like it and the core purpose of their "brotherhood" (as they call it) is to safeguard the divine relics while they publish religious myths about their gods and talk about how those gods are real and nothing is more important than keeping the divine relics safe. if it acts and looks and quacks like a duck and repeatedly turns to the audience to say that it believes in ducks, i believe it's a duck. i am not going to say "well it complained one time that there aren't a lot of ducks left in the world, so i think it's actually a chicken." that's nonsense.
#but mostly: yeah what.…do you think religion...*is*#if not.#believing that the mythical stories and moral tenets of a religion are true and correct and doing the things god(s) told you to do.
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I would love to recommend @tomtomslongdong as a *reader* highlight. It is always such a joy to see what they’re reading but also to read whatever comments and tags they leave behind. Let alone to be a writer and receive their feedback. One of the greatest supporters in the fandom, truly if no one else cares for a fic I wrote but they enjoyed it, it’s like the ultimate stamp of approval.
This week, we're highlighting @tomtomslongdong as a commenter! All recs this week will be from her recs.
Tomtom answered some questions about what she does to find fics and to leave great comments under the cut
Why Stranger Things?
I went from casual watcher in anticipation of season 4 coming out to falling in love with all the characters in the space of a few weeks. Friendship, loyalty and messy family dynamics are such a core part of st, which is something I latch onto when I’m watching anything. And maybe.. there were some characters(Eddie) that I grew even more fond of(definitely Eddie). I even remember seeing edits of Eddie at the picnic table but it wasn’t until I had watched that first episode of season 4 that I truly got it. It’s been 84 years but I’m still in love with that man.
What's your favorite ship (platonic or romantic) to read?
I read x reader the most but I adore platonic stobin and I wanna read about them more. Their dynamic is everything to me. Infact Robin with any of the st girls too. I look up this one fanart of robin and Carol Perkins a lot. A LOT.
How do you typically find fics?
At the start I would brave the tags more and I do still do that but genuinely it’s from blogs I like and follow reblogging them. I’ve curated my own little balance of people reading stuff I know I’ll like and also being introduced to fics I might not have even thought of reading before seeing their reactions.
Are there other forms of fanart you enjoy? How do you find them?
Fanart that’s been inspired by fics or concepts, just witnessing one artist inspire another is so joyful. Also when an artists self inserts themselves into their art! It’s seriously one of the coolest things ever. My favourite thing to do is trawling the tags of an eddie blog as I go on a deep dive. I scrape the barnacles off that boat allllll the way back to the start. I find all sorts of fanart and work that maybe I’ve never seen as I didn’t gravitate back to tumblr till later in summer ‘22.
What's your tip for leaving comments on works?
Just tell them how it made you feel man. Scream it at the writers. I’m no good at articulating myself at all but sometimes you read the exact thing you needed to read and all is right with the world. Let them know they’re very much to blame for your emotional state when they post. And who knows those writers might occasionally grace you with the biggest gift of all (more lore on the world they’ve built directly from their mind via an IV drip known as the DMs)
Is there any fanwork that really stood out to you?
hockey!eddie has an iron tight grip on me and if anyone could find the stats on how many times I’ve viewed dr-aculaaa and hearsegrrl art on him, you’d take my phone away
Is there anything we didn't ask that you'd like to add?
Just that it’s wild, there’s this little community in my phone that’s so smart? So talented? And I’ve formed what I hope I can call genuine friendships from this and yet no one in my day to day real life knows I’m just kicking around in here haha! I get to be my weirdo self with my weirdo friends in peace and I think that’s lovely.
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A strange little drabble I wrote about the start of the Life Series
Listen this was originally going to the start of a fic but it got a bit too lorey to a fic that was essentially just fluff soo
*shoves this at you and runs*
________________________
You feel strange, falling through the void.
Logically, you must know you were falling.
Not that you’re able to tell - the strange stillness of the void (like a breath being held) allowed for no wind, and yet you were breathing.
Why are you breathing?
You can’t live, not in any way that matters.
And still… you have had enough brushes with It before to know the chill sets in quick. One curious dip into the void left your fingers frostbitten and the knowledge that that death would be quick and painful, freezing you and then discarding you to be cradled in the strangely safe arms of Lady Death.
You surely… you shouldn’t be breathing.
Not unless…
Well.
Not unless Something wants you to.
Stop.
Curious… he is Realising.
He wouldn’t be the first. Stop him.
Of course. All the same…
What, Two?
He is far quicker than we could have expected. We have not yet fed-
He has always been subverting expectations. There is nothing to probe. Just stop him.
A cool hand on your forehead. You jolt, arms outstretched as if you can cling onto anything in the resolute nothing.
Quiet, player. You have played your game well.
It’s not quite a voice. The knowledge appears in your mind as It ‘speaks’ and you are soothed. You have indeed played the game well.
And the universe said I love you because you-
Are love. He knows this already. Why does he know this already?
He is aware. Be quicker. Just finish it.
You are love. You have played the game well. You can dream now. You have finished.
This.. this isn’t how it goes. But you are soothed anyway, your arms falling back (if there really are directions here), to relax.
To sleep.
...
…
…
…
How did the original go, again?
You would rather like to sleep, to go back to dreaming. But you cannot leave a button not pressed, as it were.
…
And the universe said I love you because you are love.
And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream.
Why did they not want him to wake up? He wants to wake up, he thinks.
He remembers?
He would like to… what was it again? To be the daylight, and the night and all that other stuff, but he would much rather like to wake up, now. To stop falling in this not-quite void.
How can he remember?
Remembrance… that’s important, too. He didn’t need the love from the Universe, not really, because he remembered he was loved. He was someone’s brother, someone’s friend, someone’s son.
And he knew he loved them all right back. If he…
It seems silly, but he needed his name, now. He knew there was one assigned to him that was unsteady, like a crown too big atop his head.
Some god’s name that had never quite fit the player the way it should fit those non-beings, those watchers.
I don’t Understand. One?
He had another one, he was sure of it. Not his god-given name, nor the one he was born with. One he had chosen.
Why does he never Listen?
One breath in, one breath out.
And that alone, proved he was alive, and capable of love.
So he harnessed his love and felt. Felt for his sister, who would speak his name in a yelp, out of breath and grinning. Felt for his brother, who would whine under the pretence of annoyance. For his best friend, who would shout it loud and unapologetically, simultaneously telling him off and egging him on. For his love, who would whisper his nickname, a smirk always found on his face.
Grian. Grian. Grian. Grian.
And then all at once, whatever kept Grian not-quite-falling through the not-quite-void snapped and he fell.
He fell, and fell, and f
el
l
Grian fell and he took his memories, his loves and his Life with him.
Do something.
He opened his eyes. It was so dark it didn’t make much of a difference, but he at least liked the choice of it.
Such choices.
Between one blink and the next, sunlight began to shine brightly into Grian’s eyes; he whooped, ignoring his watering eyes because it was windy.
And then he landed on the ground (far softer than he thought he would be) and even the ground with the rocks digging sharply into his back was a relief since he finally wasn’t fucking falling. He stood up, impatiently wiping the tears from his eyes when he paused, staring at his arm.
Three hearts were imprinted onto his forearm.
He touched the one closest to his wrist, lightly grazing the green heart and - was he imagining it? Or was it pulsing?
Oh little Xelqua.
Did you really think you could escape that easily?
#life series#3rd life smp#writing#watcher grian#grian#hermitblr#trafficblr#it got a little too angsty to add this into my FLUFF#but if you have any questions about the lore then let me know#its kind of a mashup of martyns lore and my own headcannons#but essentially grian created the 'life series' world but the watchers warped and changed the code#so then he also has to live with that!#he both saves his friends from forever falling in the void#and condemns them to playing this game#heehee#let me give grian issues :smile:
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Hello hello tis I the anon that ask about your au um is there more stuff like what your micheal like? Is um the crying child or idk what that kid name is that related to micheal moved on or still haunting the place? And the five missing kids what are they like? I'm just super curious and love seeing peoples takes on it ye take your time when ya see this I'll be waiting to see more ye.
ohh fun question!
michael as a teenager is pretty standard teenage angst. he's rebellious, outspoken, doesn't like being told what to do, etc. ever since his siblings were born he feels like he's neglected by his mom and dad which is why he takes out his anger on his brother and causes the bite to happen. which kind of makes things even worse cause william starts straight up giving him the cold shoulder (i wont talk about william's thoughts here or else this might become a william-centric post LMFAO). post-bite michael kind of mellows out but there's a lot of respressed anger in him still, and also the trauma of killing his brother never really gets addressed. so he's pretty cynical, still rebellious but less outwardly so. putting the rest under the cut again
so in my AU, the crying child's name is evan. and not just because it's commonly accepted by fandom but also because elizabeth's name also starts with an E, so the two of them have E names but michael's starts with an M. to me it signifies that michael is the outlier out of the afton kids, the one that william favors the least (particularly notable after the bite)
evan haunts fredbear! i haven't thought too much on it so it's subject to change, but i think i like the two souls sharing fredbear theory. so he's also haunting the suit with cassidy too.
as for the five missing kids, so far i've got the strongest ideas for bonnie (jeremy!). my idea is that he's actually brothers with jeremy fitzgerald, and fitzgerald is the bonnie bully in the fnaf 4 cutscene (in my mind). you see where i'm going with this. i think william specifically targeted this kid because of that and sees it as an act of revenge. (i'll probably rename him so it isn't so confusing lmao)
still working on backgrounds for the other missing kids but chica (susie) already kind of has one in canon. her dog is dead (i hc william hit it while drunk driving lol) and william tells her that her dog is Alive, actually, to lead her to the back room. actually i think she has a family in one of the fazbear frights stories but i haven't read it so i can't comment on it
i can try to give a quick rundown of what i think their personalities were! gabriel (freddy): i actually picture him being kind of like henry. quiet and reserved but very capable of being in a leadership role and strong-willed. jeremy (bonnie): bit harder to think of this one's personality. for now i'll go with sassy(?) but also kind of a jokester. likes to make people laugh. quick-witted and smart susie (chica): bubbly and cheerful, likes to make friends with everyone. somewhat naive fritz (foxy): adventurous, carefree, excitable. enjoys rushing headfirst into potentially dangerous situations cassidy (golden freddy/fredbear): the type of kid who's not afraid to challenge authority and ask questions. gets along great with other kids and often the preferred leader. very smart, also retained more of her personality than the other kids post-possession of the animatronics.
#like before let me know if you read this + if you have any more questions!#i love talking about this stuff and it helps me come up with new ideas too#asks#toxi.txt#toxi fnaf lore
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Who is Kayli?
She's yet another OC who originated from Trin's backstory that urgently needs an official introduction- and this is the perfect opportunity for me to do that!
Kayli Meyer is one of my many, many NPC Fallout OCs. She was born into the Brotherhood of Steel in Lost Hills, and as of the current point in time in my extended OC cinematic universe she has the rank of Knight and is primarily focused on scouting missions and building, testing, improving and repairing equipment. She followed the emerging trend among my OCs of relocating from west to east, and is currently living in West Virginia- where else?- thanks to some gradual peer pressure from Trin lol. I envision her as more of an OC camp ally than another pseudo-76er figure, but I do have a save file for her that I occasionally use for photography purposes, so... pics inbound:
She doesn't quite Get Trin's newfound love of photography, and generally prefers staying on the other side of the lens. She was taking the mick out of previous tourist Trin photos in both of these lol.
My all-time favourite aspect of Kay's character is her fiercely stubborn optimism and commitment to whimsy even in the face of what many would view as a destroyed and 'ended' world full of danger and despair. It's something I've always adored seeing within the Fallout setting!
#thanks for the ask!#Kayli#bonus secret fact: she's one of several characters I'm considering using when I finally play fallout 4: ignoring the main questline edition#the others being Vari. Trin's freaking father. or just behaving myself for once and using my actual sole survivor oc at long last#as always feel free to let me know if you have any more questions about her!#the only thing I might not be great at elaborating on is her backstory within the bos. because frankly I don't know a lot of bos lore#so I try to keep her role and tasks she might be assigned etc quite vague and open#*whispers* I'm 90% sure she'll be skipping the bos entirely soon but. sssh. spoiler territory approaching
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A 44 year old man goes to a K-Pop Concert
I promised you a report on the K-pop concert that I, a 44-year-old accountant, went to a couple of weeks ago with my wife and daughter in Toronto. So here it is.
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The band we saw were Ateez. They're my daughter's favourite band and my wife's second favourite. I know most of my mutuals are similarly aged like me and may not be familiar with them so let me give you a brief primer on Ateez.
Imagine the most attractive eight men you can think of, just unfathomably beautiful specimens of aesthetic perfection, and make them sing songs that somehow combine the subjects of 'dancing like nobody is watching' with 'we live in a dystopian hellscape that we must all work together to overthrow'. Give them an ongoing music video story lore that literally nobody - not even the band themselves - understand, so that online discussion of their visual motifs looks more like the fevered rantings of a conspiracy theorist, complete with speculation about alternate realities and time being a Moebius strip. There is also a giant sand timer, for some reason.
That's Ateez. That's what you need to know.
Now, K-pop concerts are very different to the gigs I've been going to for the last 28 (!) years. There's no support act, for a start. Also the band perform for like, three hours, with breaks for costume changes and interpretive dance. Furthermore, hanging above everything is the constant looming threat of mandatory military service.
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So this being my first such concert, I wasn't sure what to expect. What happened was difficult to explain, but I will try as I am already six paragraphs into this write-up and I'm too invested to stop now. Here goes:
In his Wicked + Divine comics series, Kieron Gillen places modern pop icons as deities, feeding upon and gaining strength from the worship of their fans at the altar of musical performance. I thought I understood that metaphor. I thought I understood it AS a metaphor. I was wrong, because that night Ateez WERE Gods with a capital G and we were their worshippers, a crowd emanating adoration (in the religious and non-religious senses), bestowing strength upon them and gaining their strength in return.
If that sounds weird, it probably is. But as pointed out above, I have lived over four decades and never yet experienced anything like the overwhelming passion of that crowd, the utter abandon with which they conveyed their love for the band.
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"But Fuiru, what of the actual music?" you ask. Thinking back, there was a moment in one of their songs - I can't remember which - where I watched the stage, and the people around me, taking it in, and I thought, "Man, I just love Music". But that doesn't answer your question, sorry.
Ateez's music is bloody great. As a tiresome indie/rock/metal kid I'm resisting the urge to add the usual tiresome indie/rock/metal caveat of "...for pop music" because honestly that does it a disservice. They have some genuinely amazing songs. Halazia is an absolute fucking masterpiece that descends into furious hardcore breakbeat. Bouncy is a big, brash racket that somehow is also a perfect pop song. Utopia, Wonderland, and Guerrilla are similarly superb. The obligatory boy band slow number is represented by Dancing Like Butterfly Wings which will make you cry because you will forever associate it with your twelve year old daughter being pointed to and waved at by her favourite Ateez member (Seonghwa) because of her Seonghwa-branded lightstick.
That might just be me, though.
So in summary: being a 44 year old dad at his first K-pop concert rules and you should endeavour to partake in the experience if the opportunity arises.
Finally, for any Atiny reading this: my bias would be San or Seonghwa but my wife and daughter said they were taken so it’s Mingi. My concert outfit (designed and created by my offspring) reflects this.
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I’m back…
social media au
-> you and Lando have a past that it’s quite complicated… what happens when you go up to Formula 1 to race against him?
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f1 Y/N Y/L/N is joining Aston Martin for the 2024 season.
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astonmartinf1 welcome to our team yourusername!
-> yourusername let’s make magic together 🫰🏻
username1 omg she and Lando on the same paddock????
-> username2 what’s the lore??? I’m unaware
-> username3 apparently they were dating back in f3 and he cheated on her and the guys all called her a dramatic b*tch. She crashed the next race, probably from all the bullying and pressure and was out for a whole year.
-> username2 wowww I hope she kicks his ass next season 💅
fernandoalo_oficial welcome teammate! yourusername
-> yourusername thank u nando! I’m fangirling rn <3
alex_albon missed you bestie
-> yourusername missed you albonooo 😚
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yourusername helloooo Australia!! 🇦🇺 I was so happy to answer your questions today, now let’s get racin 🏁
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username1 girl you were SOO funny!! Loved it 🫶🏻
-> username2 she’s adorable
-> username3 let’s hope she can race too
danielricciardo you’re stealing my thunder on my own home country 🥹
-> yourusername hang in there cowboy 🤠
-> oscarpiastri OUR home country danielricciardo
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astonmartin our girl just made p4 in her first f1 race! 😍
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fernandoalo_oficial p5 just felt more special with you in front of me! what a way to start our season 😜
alex_albon way to go!!
username1 the fact that she gave Lando the finger after passing him HAHA
-> username2 ICONIC
landonorris 🥱
-> username3 Lando is TRIGGERED
-> username4 omg we’re just starting the season and there’s already dramaaaa
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f1gossip Aston Martin driver Y/N Y/L/N gave Lando Norris the finger after overtaking him. Note that in their F3 season Y/N was out of action for a year after Lando cheated on her and rumor has it the hole paddock was also bullying her. Is she having her revenge?
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yourusername just posted a story
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real life
Y/N was sitting in the coffee area inside the Aston Martin headquarters when Fernando slowly approaches her.
“Can I sit?” He asks, pointing to the empty chair that’s in front of the young driver.
She looks up from her coffee and nods with her head, to busy drinking her much needed caffeine to let words out.
“Just saw what you posted in Instagram.” He says, talking about the video where she tries to clean the air after she gave the finger in live race.
“Yeah, just wanted to kinda explain myself after what happened.” She says.
“What exactly happened between you two?” He asks.
Y/N looks at him. She knows she can trust him, despite really knowing him for just a couple of months. He’s like the father she never had. Always having her back and giving her the best advices.
“We were teenagers. Stupid kids. I was in love, he apparently wasn’t. One day we were just chilling together when his phone starts getting texts. He brushes it off, saying it’s just a friend and when he falls asleep I go through his phone. They weren’t just friends. There were thousands of texts for months between the two. He lied to me… I just wanted him to be honest and he straight lied to me! We had a race the next weekend and I was able to brush the situation off, because when I enter the track I forget about the outside world. But when I enter the paddock, the guys just start shoving me and stuff like that. Me being the only girl was not easy in any way but I managed it the best I could. Then, I don’t know… I just loose the control of the car and the next thing I know I’m into a wall. I don’t even know how it happened, I can’t even remember. I just remember having this tremendous amount of pain in my leg. After two surgeries and a lot of recovery and rehab I was back in that car.”
Fernando just looks at the young woman, whose eyes have unshed tears.
“If you ask me if I hold a grudge towards him, yes, I really do. He never apologized, never spoke to me again. But that��s what keeps me going. This fire I feel inside of me is what brought me here to formula 1.”
•
part 2 here
#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lando norris#f1 imagine#lando norris insta au#lando imagine#lando norris x you#max verstappen#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando x you#lando x reader#charles leclerc#daniel riccardo x reader#daniel ricciardo#carlos sainz
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"seems so unfair ,i want to cry,, 2.7k words synopsis: after you learn the truth about the explosion at your childhood home ,you seek out a certain crow with something important to say contains: angst -> fluffy ending! lnds sylus x mc!reader (fem-coded reader) ,established relationship ,based after caleb's return ,written before caleb is added to the game (so mind any inaccuracies when he is..) & mc talks w him ,brief mention of zayne ,mc has a breakdown ,v soft!sylus ,sylus comforts you ,he bathes you (all fluffy) ,carries you ,slight evol use but its to lift u up for 2s ,references to the main story (namely the explosion + when u meet sylus) ,slight reference to sylus lore but no spoils ,apologies ,lots of kisses ,cuddles ,i think thats it?? note: (proofread, not edited!) this is braindump based off of a tweet i saw today let me live :x
-
this was bad.
this was terrible.
no, this was beyond that.
this was awful.
your mind was spinning ever since caleb's return- the man from your childhood who you'd been sure you'd watched die before your eyes- his interrogation, and learning everything that you could in the long time you'd spent together in that room.
your mind was swimming with information overload: of the EVER group, the fact that caleb was alive, the emergence of colonel caleb no less...
but most of all, you think back to the explosion.
and the man you initially thought who had caused it.
your heart was heavy in your chest, overwhelmed with guilt that felt like it was physically weighing you down, prompting you to lay a hand over your beating heart and take in slow, deep breaths.
in spite of everything- of the information you'd learned from caleb swirling, questioning everything you knew and giving you a headache- your mind was clear enough to do one thing:
you had to see him.
you couldn't stop thinking about him, speeding on your motorcycle through the N109 zone back to the familiar base, thinking back to when you'd first met: your immediate resentment towards him, your sudden distrust, your desire to get any and all answers from him at any cost-
and namely, how you had accused him of the explosion from that day.
you vaguely remember at the researcher's shop the look of hurt that flashed in his eyes when the man had suggested you were afraid or disgusted by him on a subconscious level.
back then, you didn't know what to believe, and even long after he'd said it, the words of his lingered in your head.
"you really are a naive linkon citizen."
you think back to his warning of being wary of the ones closest to you after today's meeting, and even back when zayne had given you the enclosed research papers of your grandma's after she had passed.
there really was too much that you didn't know and too much information to properly process in your mind right now, but you pushed that aside for the moment thinking back to the leader of onychinus.
the boss that you had, somehow, grown much closer to and much more fond of than you could've ever thought possible.
your engine revs as you speed up, sun dipping just below the horizon as your determination leads you to the place you've subconsciously recognized as a second home, a singular thought circulating your head.
i have to see him.
-
when you finally arrive, you practically leap off of your bike, barely putting it in park and snatching the keys from the ignition before racing through the doors with the memorized numbers of the familiar keypads, heart racing in anticipation, head whirling from the ride-
but you couldn't stop now, not before seeing him.
as you race through the empty halls, peeking into every open door in case he may be lingering in one while you head straight towards his room, you run into something firm.
"ah!"
while the collision makes you stumble, the firm object- or rather, person- doesn't even flinch, hands automatically steadying your body as he looks down at you, a mix of mirth and slight surprise in his expression.
"oh? is a little kitten in a rush today?"
you gaze up at the man who'd occupied your every thought, panting breaths escaping you before you get lost in his eyes, mind emptying itself at the sight of him: of the man you've grown close to, the one you've sworn yourself to protect and watched him do the same for you.
you're overcome with a sense of warmth and longing, though the one you yearn for is right before you.
he's staring right back into your eyes, noticing their distraught appearance, taking in your slightly disheveled hair, the way you're catching your breath, and most worrying:
the way he sees your eyes begin to water.
"hey..."
his voice is that deep, gentle tremble he reserves just for you, dropping the teasing completely, noticing that something is really very wrong here.
"what happened? tell me."
he's begun softly massaging your shoulders, but only does so for a mere few seconds before you're clutching onto the fabric of his shirt tight.
your hands are scrunching the fabric so hard its causing wrinkles, but he couldn't care less when the tears break free and your face falls into his chest, your body shaking.
even if you wanted to tell him everything, you can't handle it right now, the information not even close to being processed by your own jumbled brain, and you're so overwhelmed that you can't help but to break down in front of the one you've come to trust the most.
the tears won't stop flowing, quickly staining his shirt as he holds you, and when he hears the first sob break from your lips, he swears his heart completely shatters at the sound.
sylus begins rubbing your back, reserving the questions for now, seeing that you're in no state to talk
even if his own mind was racing and heart pounding at the thought of someone or something hurting or threatening you- his initial response, seeing as it's rare to see you break down to such a degree in front of him.
after a couple of minutes of sobs wracking your quivering body, sylus feels you being speaking, a repeated mantra escaping in broken gasps from you, and his concern increases tenfold.
"i'm sorry... i'm sorry.... im so sorry... sylus, i'm-!"
you're mumbling apologies into his shirt between your loud hiccups and pathetic sobs, over and over and over again, unable to get any other words out than the ones you mean the most from the deepest depths of your stricken heart.
and even though he's overcome with worry, hands trembling ever so slightly wanting so badly to take your tears away, he doesn't ask now, he doesn't need to.
instead, he holds you, rubbing your back, softly shushing you and trying to soothe your cries.
"it's okay... let it out. i'm here."
at his reassurances, your apologies slowly die out, drowned out by your continuous sobs.
-
once you finally manage to calm down, sylus fetches you a glass of water, urging you to drink before he wordlessly carries you to his bathroom, starting up a bath for you. he takes heed to add a few drops of essential oil to help soothe you further (anything to make you fele more at ease in this state) as he adjusts the temperature of the water to be just right before slowly shedding you of your clothes.
he speaks here and there the entire time, small questions between every action as he rids you of each layer of clothing to make sure its okay with you, mixed with his reassurances that he's here with you before gently laying you inside of the tub and settling behind you to begin washing your hair.
his hands do wonders for your head, headache gradually subsiding as you close your eyes against his ministrations, sniffling nose taking in the calming aroma of the oils as you lean back against him to relax further.
when he's rinsed the soapy residue from your head, he massages a hair mask into your scalp before rinsing his hands and moving to massage your neck, your shoulders, and down your body, gradually cleaning and scrubbing away as he goes.
you feel yourself dozing off just as he's finishing, his fond chuckle filling your ears as he holds your heavy head steady with one hand, moving to drain the tub with the other.
"not yet, we still have to dry you off," he murmurs into your ear, warm breath pulling a slight shiver from you. he lifts your damp body once again, wrapping you in a fluffy towel and sitting you down on the counter.
you allow yourself to be towel dried by him, melting at the sound of his gentle yet off-key humming as he works, gently brushing away the spare droplets before he reaches for your lotion, squeezing some into his hands, warming it between his palms and again massaging it into your tired body.
you take a deep breath, all too aware of the love and care this man- known to be feared and intimidating to many- has for you as he wordlessly pampers you, knowing nothing but that you needed to relax a little, refraining from asking you about anything before he was sure you were ready to tell him yourself.
"arms up."
you blink back to the present, not realizing he'd finished moisturizing your body. you obey without question as he slips your nightgown over you, pulling up your damp strands of hair that get caught under it and grabbing another towel to dry it for you, closing your eyes again as he does so.
always so gentle when it came to your hair.
once he's satisfied, he helps you slip on a fresh pair of panties (you almost don't realize he's used his evol to lift you up for just a moment to slip them over your seated thighs before you're softly placed down once again, opening your eyes to see his soft expression looking back at you).
as he gives you a once over, you can't help but to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you. his hands come up to hold your wrists, but make no move to remove them.
"what's wrong?" he finally asks, worried eyes looking into your now slightly-calmed yet equally tired ones.
you blink once, pulling him towards you as you lean forward, soft lips meeting his warm ones in a longing kiss.
he returns the gesture with equal fervor, eyes closing as he revels in the flavor that is you, lips moving slowly and rhythmically against yours, allowing you full control of how this goes. after a few long moments, you pull back to look at him.
the faintest grin appears on the corner of his lips, still wrought with worry but just slightly reassured at your gesture.
"bedroom?" he murmurs.
you nod, and he picks you up, your legs wrapping around his waist and chin hooked on his shoulder as he shuts off the light, carrying you out towards the bed and gently resting your body on the soft mattress.
he moves to stand straight but your arms are still locked around his neck, eyes staring up into his. he lets out a soft scoff, gripping your arms once more in his hands, but again making no move to remove them from their place, staring back at you with a grin.
"how can i get the lights like this?"
at the sound of your soft laugh ringing through his ears, he feels his heart beat again.
"just leave them," you whisper, and the little smile has him obeying in a heartbeat.
you were truly is one biggest weakness.
"well, it's hard to lay down when you've trapped me like this, sweetie."
"no, its not," you rebuke, teasing glint in your eyes as you continue smiling up at him.
a happy smirk plasters itself on his face.
"wanna bet?"
before you can answer, a surprised sound escapes you as you're lifted with his evol, unlatching your hands and allowing him to take his spot sitting up at the headboard as your laugh rings out through the room.
"sylus!"
he chuckles, pulling you towards him and draping you in his lap, arms quickly winding around your waist, pleased hum escaping you as you lean your head against his chest.
the two of you stay like that, cuddled up together when the weight of the day slowly comes back to you, your mind once again beginning to reel, thinking back to what you needed to say to him when his soft timber breaks the cozy and comfortable silence.
"are you feeling alright now?"
you look up at his face, shaky breath escaping you.
"i... learned a lot of information today."
he hums in acknowledgement, hand coming up to caress your slightly-damp hair.
"about.. a lot. my family, EVER, and the explosion..."
your voice trails off as you lift your head from his chest, sitting up to face him completely before your soft hands reach up to cup his face.
"and it made me think- about back then, when we first met. i was so angry and desperate for answers, and-"
you take a deep breath again, feeling your voice begin to waver and eyes filling with regretful tears, but he holds your gaze and doesn't interrupt, taking in your every word.
"and- i'm sorry, sylus."
his eyes slightly widen at your apology, but he let's you continue.
"at the time, i blamed you, accused you, when in the end, you truly had nothing to do with it..."
"sweetie..."
his soft, glazed crimson eyes gaze back into yours as the picture begins to paint itself.
sure, you were right, it wasn't him, but he couldn't blame you for your assumption back then, not really...
even if it did kill him to consider you thought so negatively of him then.
still, he listens.
"you were right: i was just a naive linkon citizen, and your warning before- about 'the closest ones to you,' i just-"
his hand moves to caress your back once again, the other brushing stray hair over your shoulders.
"i'm so sorry," you sniffle, tear-filled eyes gazing into his own warm yet sad ones.
"even if you did kidnap me, and mess with me," you smile at the soft chuckle that rumbles through his chest. "you were always on my side, even when i wasn't on yours. you've looked out for me, taken care of me, spent time with me, loved me-"
the tears flow freely now, thumbs caressing his cheeks.
"i could never despise you, be afraid of you, or ever be disgusted by you, not in a million years."
his breath hitches slightly at that.
even though you both were well past that time, even though you both had grown impossibly closer- inseparable, even- since you'd met, his heart thrashed wildly at your bold declaration of reassurance.
"i'm sorry that i hurt you back then without knowing anything," you whispered.
momentarily at a loss, mind slowly processing your words, he doesn't get a chance to respond as you gently pull his face towards yours, planting another soft, loving kiss on his lips.
you pull back from him, smiling at the way he momentarily chases your lips as your hold on his face never breaks. your legs shift under you to sit on your knees, leaning into him before you plant a kiss on the corners of his lips, his chin, his nose, and slowly covering every crevice of his visage with your love.
his hands are holding your wrists firmly now, eyes fluttering shut and feeling your presence, feeling your kisses, feeling your love, your tear-stricken face no longer causing a full sense of anxiety but rather causing his thoughts to fear his heart might be seizing to function.
but if he were to die right here, right now, just like this, he supposes he couldn't complain.
truly, he had no fear of that moment anymore, but having this reassurance from you and seeing you so distraught by something that seemed to have occurred so long ago- he allows you to reassure him, and revels within it, each kiss a welcome warmth as he pulls you closer towards his body.
you pull back slightly to look into his love-filled gaze once again.
"i love you, sylus," you whisper into the night.
"and i love you," he responds, taking charge to kiss you first this time, heart feeling as full as it had when he'd first met you all that time ago.
and you stay in each other's embrace, soft whispers seeping into the night, something having shifted beneath this moonlit night, reveling in each other's comfort.
everything you had learned, everything that had happened, everything else that may or may not: you pushed it aside for now. you could always let him know later on, and you fully planned to.
but for now, you were satisfied to hold each other just like this, longtime bonds feeling mended, your normal chatter and whispered confessions filling the hours late into the night under the guise of the moon.
-
a/n: based off one single tweet that i saw today.. (couldn't find the og but it was basically saying they need to hear mc apologize to sylus for accusing him of causing the explosion once we learn more ab the actual cause) didn't realize i'd make a whole short fic of it at nearly four in the morning when i have to be up in four hrs yet here we are :x
#love and deepspace#lnds#lads#l&ds#love and deepspace sylus#lnds sylus#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus x reader#lads sylus x reader#lnds sylus x reader#l&ds sylus x reader#qin che#love and deepspace fanfic#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#lads x you#lads fanfic#love and deepspace x you#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace fic
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—catalyst.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: fluff, pining, non-idol au, best friend’s little brother au
word count: 5.4k
summary: when your best friend points out how there seems to be something more than just a platonic friendship going on between you and hyunjin, you couldn’t help but start questioning everything you’ve been doing together so far.
a/n: and we finally get y/n’s pov!! (and a little bit of hyunie’s as always lol can’t help myself). there is a lotttttt of overthinking on her end so please go easy on her, she just got hit by facts she hadn’t thought twice about before (thank u chan).
if anyone comes across this in the tags, this is part 15.2 of a social media series called heart out! you can read it as a stand-alone but i wouldn’t recommend it since there are a lot of references to the previous parts of the story.
as always i hope you all enjoy! if you do, please let me know your thoughts on it<3
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When you woke up that day, you never would’ve expected to end up with so many unanswered questions by the end of it.
It was supposed to be a normal day — a great one, actually. You were having lunch at the Hwang’s household, and that itself was enough to make you happy as ever.
It had been a while since you’d last seen Hyunjin and Yeji’s parents, let alone shared a meal with them, so you took it upon yourself to get up extra early that morning in order to make some dessert for them —a lemon pie and a chocolate one, as they were Mr. and Mrs. Hwang’s favourites— and still have enough time left to get ready.
Yeji called you out as soon as she and Chan arrived to pick you up, ranting about how it wasn’t necessary for you to bring anything, while you and Chan could only laugh, knowing well enough she was already eyeing the lemon pie and thinking of how many pieces she would have.
What only made it funnier to you was that you knew you’d get a similar reaction from Hyunjin once you met him at his parents’, only he’d be eyeing the chocolate pie instead.
Said and done, as soon as you entered their house and Hyunjin came up to greet you —not without first letting you know just how hurt he was over you sharing a ride with your friends instead of him—, he began to go on about how he told you that you didn’t need to bring their parents any presents, like you said you would after his mother had so generously made you some soup when you were in bed with a fever a week ago. Nevertheless, you could see the way he stole a few glances at the chocolate pie, before offering to take it to the kitchen, while Yeji did the same with the lemon one. You could never get bored with these two.
Their parents, you knew very well by now, were just the same as them. It was clear where Yeji and Hyunjin got their humor and antics from.
You always had a very nice time with them, as they’d always find the right topic to keep the conversation going. But then for some reason your dating life made it to the conversation at one point and Mingyu was brought up by their mother asking you about the ‘handsome young man’ they met a couple of times; and somehow that alone would be the catalyst that set off a series of events that ultimately left you questioning your entire relationship with Hyunjin later that night.
“So you are definitely not getting back together with him?” Their mother asked at last, once the whole ‘Mingyu lore’, as Yeji called it, had been covered.
“Um…” you hesitated, eyes unconsciously locking with Hyunjin next to you, before you looked for Yeji, who was in front of him. “No, we’re not”.
“Oh, dear” she lamented. “What he did was such a shame, the two of you certainly made a very nice couple”.
“You heard how he turned out to be an asshole, though” Yeji pointed out, taking the words from Hyunjin’s mouth and inevitably having him and Chan nod in silent agreement.
“It’s a good thing you’re moving past him” their father chimed in this time.
You nodded, giving him a gentle smile. You were trying your best, for sure.
“His parents must be devastated” Mrs. Hwang lamented again, bringing your attention back to her.
This time, you couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh. “I mean, I got along really well with them, but I wouldn’t go as far as to think they’re devastated”.
“Losing a daughter-in-law as beautiful and attentive as you…” she explained, bringing some heat to your cheeks that you tried to play off by taking a sip of water. “The two of you would’ve made such beautiful children”.
The water you were drinking didn’t follow the path down your throat it should’ve at the sound of her statement, and you inevitably ended up choking on it.
“Yah, mum” Hyunjin called her out, gently patting your back as you tried to catch your breath. “Can we not mention children and her ex in the same sentence?”
“Right, sorry” she apologised, handing you a napkin and giving you a soft smile before her eyes focused on her husband; ignoring the way Hyunjin’s hand remained unconsciously drawing small circles on your back until you were able to breathe normally again. “But just imagine if we had that kind of genes in the family”.
“Did she just call us ugly?” Yeji frowned, locking eyes with Hyunjin, who couldn’t help but chuckle instead of acting offended like his sister — in his eyes you were on a whole other level of beauty after all.
“Honestly though, even I feel offended now” Chan butted in. “I don’t recall you wanting my genes this bad”.
“They met you when we were already a couple, she probably would’ve tried to bribe you too otherwise” Yeji let him know with a cynical laugh, having you all follow right after.
“Trust me, she’s already pictured how cute your children will be” Mr. Hwang let the couple know.
“Can we not?” Yeji pleaded with red cheeks this time. Chan, on the other hand, could not let the opportunity to tease her pass, poking her cheek and repeating in a squeaky voice just how cute their kids would be. “Back to the topic of Y/N’s genes, please” she begged.
“Jeez! Thanks, best friend” you ironically said amidst an incredulous laugh, earning a finger heart and an obnoxious smile from her in response.
“My point was,” their mother resumed her previous train of thought. “Now that Y/N’s single, I’m kind of wishing we had an older son. Imagine how beautiful their children would be if she became a Hwang”.
Well, that certainly felt like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown right at Hyunjin.
“Hyunjin’s right here, though?” Chan pointed out before the youngest could begin to get lost in his —quite angsty— thoughts. “They’re both in their twenties, I’d say there’s hope for Y/N to become a Hwang”.
And maybe, if you weren’t too busy kicking Chan under the table, you would’ve noticed the shy smile curving up Hyunjin’s mouth, as well as his slightly rosy cheeks as he looked down to his still nearly untouched food.
Maybe if Yeji wasn’t too busy laughing at her boyfriend after getting hit and ever so poorly trying to comfort him, she would’ve noticed her brother being all flustered, too.
But, thankfully for him, his parents did. And that was enough for them to nod their heads in silent understanding.
That was the last comment they made about your dating life that afternoon, having no trouble directing the topic once again towards Chan and Yeji’s relationship instead.
You, on the other hand, although had managed to do a pretty good job at following whatever topic was brought up for the rest of the meal, could not seem to let Chan’s comment go.
It was out of place. Way out of it. What did Hyunjin have to do with it anyway? Like, yes, they were talking about you becoming a Hwang and, yes, he was the only son they had, but that didn’t immediately make him an option?
He was three years younger than you. He was only seventeen and still in high school when you met, whereas you were in your second year of university. It felt wrong to even think about it. And it was even worse considering that there was a reason his mum had explicitly mentioned her wish to have an older son instead of pushing you towards Hyunjin right away. It didn’t seem right for them either, as far as you could tell from what had just gone down.
Which is why you couldn’t let it go. Not even after you and Hyunjin got back to your place, like you had agreed to earlier that day when you decided to share a car with Chan and Yeji instead of him, and he wasted no time to secure his much needed alone time with you once you were done at his parents’.
You’d excused yourself to the kitchen to make some popcorn while Hyunjin was comfortably resting on your couch as he looked for any romcom movie to watch while he sipped on the hot chocolate you made as soon as you got home, and you took those few minutes away from him to text Chan and ask for an explanation.
And, God, did you get one.
You re-read the conversation over and over after he went offline, unable to understand where the hell had it all come from.
“He’s 23 now”.
“You may have met when he was 17 but he’s an adult now”.
“Considering what’s currently going on between the two of you”.
“I’m just trying to make you see and actually consider all your choices”.
“Hyunjin is not a little boy anymore”.
Every single text, hitting harder than the other.
Of course he was no longer a little boy. He stopped being one a long time ago, you weren’t stupid. But he was still Hyunjin, Yeji’s little brother. Nothing would ever change that.
You were supposed to care for him just like she did, to be there for him and protect him when the time came. He wasn’t supposed to be ‘a choice’ for you like any other guy could.
He was Hyunjin, the teenage boy who hardly talked to you the weekend you first met and would stutter almost every time he did, and who would so shyly let you and Yeji know dinner was ready whenever you stayed at theirs after that.
Hyunjin, the high school student you’d give some advice regarding the university admission test and applications throughout his last year of it, and whose graduation you attended later on.
Hyunjin, who made it to your university and would constantly ask for your help in his assignments, regardless of him having chosen a completely different major; and who you’d constantly check up on to make sure he was doing okay in his first year of it.
Hyunjin, who held you tight as ever the night Mingyu left you, and refused to go home like Yeji told him it was okay for him to until he was sure you were sound asleep and no longer crying, which didn’t happen until way past four in the morning.
Hyunjin, who would text to check up on you every single day after your breakup, even if it meant getting very short, cold answers from the heartbroken and detached persona that had taken over your body the following weeks.
Hyunjin, who included you in his New Year’s Eve plans and kept you company the entire weekend Yeji and Chan were away.
Hyunjin, who made it known he missed being as close as you once got to be years ago and took the lead to propose picking up where you left off.
Hyunjin, the man who had spent the entire past month making your days better by simply texting or showing up at your place — being there for you even when you didn’t need him to.
Had you really missed how much he was there for you? When was it that the roles reversed and he started to look after you instead?
You jumped when the microwave started beeping, letting you know the popcorn was ready. Shoving your phone into your pocket, you rushed to pour the popcorn into a bowl before making your way back into the living room.
Hyunjin’s head snapped in your direction, unable to hide his smile as soon as he saw you.
You gulped, trying your best to calm your heartbeats down before you took a seat next to him right as he placed the now empty mug on the coffee table. Maybe you should’ve texted Chan later that night, when Hyunjin was back at his place and you wouldn’t have to face him right away after being hit with so many questions.
“I was like one minute away from going over there to see what was taking you so long” he confessed.
“Just making us a small snack” you smiled cutely, shaking the bowl in your hands to make your point.
“I’m pretty sure popcorn takes like three minutes to make in the microwave,” he pointed out, shoving a single one into his mouth. “You took like seven”.
You scoffed in amusement. “Did you set a timer or something?”
“No, but I watched three whole movie trailers,” he admitted, earning a breathy laugh from you. “And that without counting the minutes I spent scrolling through movies to watch. I’d say you took at least ten minutes, actually”.
“Did you miss me that much to actually count the minutes?” You couldn’t help but joke.
“Well, yes” he answered with no hesitation, and no signs of joking either; very unfortunately for your already shaken up heart. “I told you earlier that I hadn’t seen you all week and wanted to spend time with you”.
“We’ve been together nearly all day” you reminded him sweetly.
“Not alone, though” his words made you feel warm inside, like they seemed to be doing a lot lately. “It’s not the same”.
“Sorry,” you pouted, and that was enough for him to melt. “I got kinda caught up texting and… here, I’ll just leave my phone on the table so we’ll just focus on the movie”.
Placing your phone next to his on the coffee table in front, you leaned back against the sofa, tilting your head up towards the TV, so he’d hit ‘play’ and you could get started on your movie night.
When five seconds went by and he didn’t move an inch, you focused your eyes on him instead.
“Hyunie?” You called him, moving your hand in front of him to pull him out of his thoughts and smiling once you did. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, um, I just…” he struggled, having his eyes going back to your phone. “Was it work related? Like, was it… was he…”
“I was talking to Channie” you clarified when you got what was going through his mind. “Don’t be silly now, you really think I’d spend ten minutes of my life texting my ex boyfriend?”
“I mean, you guys have a project together now, so…”
“Still, we can just get it over with by email” you stood your ground. “I only spend that long texting people I actually enjoy talking to”.
He smiled, happy to know you would usually spend that amount of time texting —if not more— and, therefore, he was one of those lucky ones you enjoyed talking to.
Beaming after that realisation, and with the possibility of you talking to your ex out of the way, he grabbed the remote and pointed it to the TV.
“Is this one okay?” He asked, motioning towards the title ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ displayed on it.
You nodded quite effusively. “What are you waiting for, it’s one of my favourites”.
He bit his lip, but not even that was enough to hide the wide smile taking over his face as he leaned back against the couch as well and finally hit ‘play’. Of course he knew you loved that movie. He wasn’t choosing one only he enjoyed after all, and maybe knowing you’d get happy about it was the reason he ended up going with this particular one.
To be fair, he knew he’d spend half of the movie looking at you instead anyway. It was quite cute how you wouldn’t notice, being way too immersed in the plot you must’ve watched a hundred times by now.
Every now and then, he would reach for the popcorn at the same time as you, with the mere intention of his fingers faintly touching yours, but by the third time they touched and he got no reaction from you, he decided he wanted more — having your fingers touch without you noticing was not enough.
So, he slid slightly down the sofa, just enough for his face to be on the same level as yours, and then he rested his head on your shoulder.
That, you noticed. Hyunjin realised by the way your body tensed up under his touch.
And, for a moment there, he considered sitting up and going back to his previous position, hating the thought of his proximity making you feel uncomfortable; but you greatly surprised him by leaning your head on his before he could do so, silently letting him know right then that you did in fact enjoy being this close to him.
In the end, he had nothing to worry about when it came to touching you, for you had made it clear a while ago that it didn’t bother you. But, then again, he wasn’t sure whether you were only enduring it or actually enjoyed it. He didn’t know which touches were okay and which ones were crossing the line. And the thing was, so far, you enjoyed every single kind of physical contact he had tried with you. They were all brief, innocent even, sweet.
Him leaning his head on your shoulder hadn’t made you tense up because he crossed some kind of line, but because, unknown to him, your head was a complete mess right then. Unable to let your previous conversation with Chan go, you were now questioning the meaning behind this small action of his.
“Considering what’s currently going on between the two of you”.
Was this what he meant by that? You and Hyunjin being this kind of close?
This was the first time he rested his head on your shoulder out of all the times you’d been sitting down on your couch just like this, and now you couldn’t tell whether you were overthinking too much because of your friend’s words, or whether you would’ve started overthinking just the same regardless of it.
Yes, he had held your hand before, but it was an act for the hotteok lady not to feel ashamed after thinking the two of you were a couple.
Yes, you had cuddled through the night on this very couch, but it was only because you passed out without either of you noticing.
Every other ‘major’ touch you shared had an excuse behind it. Hyunjin lying his head on your shoulder, however? It didn’t have one. He just felt like it, wanted to be close to you. And ultimately you ended up giving in and resting your head on his simply because you felt like it, too. It felt nice. Regardless of the mess going on in your head, you wanted to be close to him, too.
Was it even an overthinking matter anyway? Friends did this all the time, right? Both you and Chan used to do it a lot before you and Mingyu started dating. You and Yeji still did it a lot, too, up to this day. Why did it suddenly feel different with Hyunjin?
Damn you, Bang Chan. You certainly didn’t need this right now.
Once again, your thoughts were interrupted by a sound. This one was softer than your microwave’s beep, though, more like a buzz coming from one of the phones on the coffee table. Considering your phone wasn’t on silent mode right then, you knew it was Hyunjin’s.
“Your phone just buzzed” you let him know when he wouldn’t budge.
“Leave it” he replied simply, shoving another handful of popcorn into his mouth.
“What if it’s important?” You wondered.
He sighed, already giving in — as easily as he always did when it came to you. “I’m too comfy, can you pass it to me?”
You nodded in a second, unable to hold back the chuckle that escaped your mouth when you leaned over to grab his phone and he followed your movement, as he refused to lift his head from its comfortable spot on your shoulder.
Just as you were back in your place and about to hand him his phone, though, its screen lit up, letting you see a single message from Dahye.
As soon as you saw it, you panicked, practically shoving the phone into Hyunjin’s hands.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have read that” you apologised, shamefully looking away.
Hyunjin frowned, sitting up in clear alert before he could check what you were talking about. His eyes opened wide once he read Dahye’s text and he immediately realised what it must’ve looked like to you.
It was a simple question: “Are you coming over tonight?”
No hello, no ‘Hyunjinie~’; just straight to the point, which couldn’t help but lead you to wonder whether texts like this and him going over to her place at night were an usual occurrence by now.
Hyunjin had told you all about her at New Year’s Eve. From how they kissed when he was drunk to how she wouldn’t leave him alone even years after it happened. He told you it was one sided, that he was tired of her constant insistence. But then why did that one text from her make it seem like that wasn’t precisely the case?
Unlike him, you hadn’t read Han’s message following Dahye’s, for it had just been delivered when he checked his phone right then. You hadn’t read the one message that gave the whole context to Dahye’s obscure text.
“She means to the pregame,” he was fast to clear up. “Han just texted me and apparently we’re going to a noraebang tonight and pregaming at Haeun’s. Dahye’s staying with her, so…”
You nodded, feeling like you weren’t in the place to say anything. It was his life, after all. He could be with whoever he wanted. He didn’t owe you any explanations. Fuck, did you want any explanations?
You didn’t know if you were feeling embarrassed for reading a text message that was supposed to be private, or if you were upset over the idea that Chan had just planted in your head being tainted not even an hour later.
Maybe you’d been thinking too much over something that wasn’t even there, being influenced by your best friend and what he thought was going on between you and Hyunjin. Maybe it was nothing after all.
But you couldn’t deny that you did feel quite uneasy over her text.
Were you upset that she was talking to him? Were you upset they were possibly hooking up? Was it being about Hyunjin you were upset about? Or were you just upset over how much the scene playing right in front of you resembled the times you’d just started questioning Mingyu’s relationship with Hayun while you were still together?
The times you’d catch the suspicious text messages popping up on his notifications, how nervous he would get and how he would start to throw excuse after excuse for you to believe he had nothing to do with her… You knew this feeling all too well, and you hated that you were feeling it again, with Hyunjin of all people, when you were not even together, you had no feelings for him as far as you knew, and, most importantly, you knew he was nothing like Mingyu at all.
And yet, here you were, feeling the goddamn lump in your throat you had felt one too many times by now because of a guy.
“Y/N?” He brought you back to reality. He looked worried. “I promise it doesn’t mean what it looked like”.
You had to hold back the hopeless laugh that threatened to escape your mouth at the sound of his words.
Words you had heard and decided to let pass way more times than you were proud of, and which brought you right back to the downfall of your last relationship.
You didn’t know which one of your concerns had to do with the trauma of your past relationship and which ones were actually related to the current situation you had just found yourself in.
When did it all stop being about Mingyu and it started being about Hyunjin?
“It’s okay” you gave him the most genuine smile you could give him, to let him know you were alright. Still, he didn’t look convinced. “You should get going, though”.
“I mean it, though” he pushed it when he could tell you weren’t convinced. “You can go through the t—”
“Hyunie,” you cut him off, this time with a soft chuckle. “It’s okay. I believe you”.
Did you?
“But apparently there is a pregame taking place in a bit, so you should get going”.
“You don’t even know at what time it is” he pouted.
“It’s a little past seven right now,” you pointed out, checking the time in your phone. “I’m guessing at seven thirty? Eight at most?”
Looking down to the group chat with his friends and realising you were right, he only made his pout more prominent.
“Am I right?” You wondered with a teasing smirk.
“Yes…” he let out a defeated sigh.
When you laughed triumphantly, he leaned in to rest his forehead on your shoulder.
“I don’t wanna go yet” he mumbled.
“You have to if you wanna make it in time with your friends”.
“I can always just skip pregame” he suggested, then sitting up again and looking at you with a mischievous smile. “Or skip night out as a whole”.
“Yah, Hwang Hyunjin” you scolded him. “You are not pulling a New Year’s Eve stunt on me again”.
“A New Year’s Eve stunt?” He wondered rather amusedly.
“You know, when you said you’d only stay with me until midnight and then ended up not going back to your friends that night” you explained.
“This is different, though. We had plans before”.
“Staying on the couch watching movies with me can’t even compete with going out with your friends”.
“No, you’re right” he nodded. “It can’t compete because staying in with you would win every time”.
“Hyunjin…” you tried your best to sound stern and not melt over his words. “Go”.
“But…”
“I’m not letting you skip yet another night out with your friends because of me”.
“Come with me then?” He asked with puppy eyes.
You were quick to look away, knowing well enough you would fall for his charms otherwise. “I’ll have to pass this time”.
“Is it because of Dahye?” He carefully wondered, taking your following silence as a yes. “We can skip pregame and then I’ll tell my friends to make up some excuse for her not to join us at noraebang”.
“Hyunjin,” you couldn’t help but chuckle. “You don’t have to do that, just go have fun with them”.
“But I wanna be with you” he pouted once more.
“Hyunie…” it sounded like you were begging by now. “The movie’s about to end anyway”.
“And we were supposed to watch another once once it did” he reminded you, later allowing a taunting smirk to curve up his lips when a certain idea made it to his head. “Are you so set on making me leave right now because you’re afraid you might not want me to leave at all if I stay any longer?”
You snorted, playfully yet gently poking his forehead. “Someone’s gotten a little too cocky, don’t you think?”
“Am I wrong, though?” He pushed it. “Do you really want me to go?”
“Hm?”
“Do you want me to go?” He repeated.
“Your friends—”
“That’s not what I’m asking you” he cut you off. “You have this really bad habit of always avoiding my questions, you know?”
You found yourself lowering your head, feeling oh-so-little under his piercing stare.
Although Hyunjin loved seeing you nervous because of him and it was a very rare occurrence coming from you, right then, he wanted your eyes on him. So, placing two fingers under your chin, he tilted your head back to his eye level — both of you only realising how close you actually were when your eyes met.
“It’s a simple yes or no question” he specified, gently removing a strand of hair from your face. “Do you want me to go?”
“No” you answered truthfully this time.
He smiled brightly.
“But—BUT,” you emphasized before he could celebrate, leaning slightly back and lifting your index finger for him to pay attention. “Like I said, I’m not letting you bail on your friends again, there will come a time they’ll get tired of it. You deserve to let loose and have some fun only with them”.
“But we were supposed to hang out today…”
“And we did?”
He frowned, clearly not happy with your answer.
“Come onnn,” you tried your best to convince him. “We’ll hang out again tomorrow anyway”.
“We will?” He perked up instantly, enough to make you feel shy all over again.
“I mean, if you want to, of course…” you corrected yourself. You had really become that used to seeing him both days every weekend now for it to be more of a given, huh?
“I believe it’s pretty clear by now that I always want to hang out with you”.
You tried to hold back a smile — needless to say, your efforts were miserable. “Okay then, we’ll see each other tomorrow”.
“Okay,” he smiled, satisfied with your new plans. “Let’s go out this time, since staying in is too boring for you now”.
“When did I ever say that?!”
“When you said that this,” he motioned around your place. “Wasn’t competition for a night out”.
“That is so not what I meant?” You argued.
“Still,” he laughed, eyes softening when they locked with yours. “I’m taking you out for lunch, okay?”
You smiled timidly, nodding your head. “Let’s see if you’re not too hungover first. Might have to end up taking care of you instead”.
“Now I might get blackout drunk just to have you taking care of me tomorrow”.
You shook your head in disbelief, unable to hide your amusement as you looked away. “Never mind, I will be sending either Yeji or your mum instead”.
“I’m joking, I’m joking” he laughed, looking for your eyes to lock with his again and gently grabbing your hands that were resting on your lap. “I’ll behave. Just let me take you out for lunch tomorrow, hm? Just us two”.
Staring down at your hands in his warm, soft ones, you couldn’t help but get invaded with more questions than answers.
It felt nice… being touched by him felt nice. Being close to him as a whole made you feel all warm inside. And he was right when he joked about you being scared you wouldn’t want him to leave at all if he stayed any longer, because truth was you already didn’t. You wanted him to stay, as close as you were minutes before.
Was it okay for you to be this close? Both physically and also emotionally? To the point of talking every single day and finding a way to see each other more than you saw your own best friends?
Did you enjoy his touch so much because it came from him? Or was it because you missed being touched?
Was he like this with everyone else? With Dahye? Anyone else at all? Did he treat you differently from them? Or was he just a flirty person and what you were now considering to be some kind of special treatment was just him acting the same as he did with every other girl?
Were you beginning to fall for him? Had you really been that oblivious to your own feelings? Or were you just looking too much into it now because of Chan’s influence, and mistaking a platonic —and rather strong— connection for something more?
Would Yeji be okay with it?
Too many questions were invading your mind, one right after the other, and you couldn’t find a single answer to any of them just yet.
However, although you didn’t know what you were feeling and were unsure about what demons were from your past and which ones were new, you did know one thing for sure: You were never as happy as when you were with him.
So, with a soft smile and a nod of your head, pushing any other thought for later tonight when you went to bed, you said the only thing you could answer to his request right then. “Okay”.
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₊ ⊹ . ݁ MILLION DOLLAR BABY ₊ ⊹ .
(sex worker!suguru geto x rich girl!reader)
⊹ tags: suguru geto x female reader; nanami kento x satoru; sukuna is reader's ex; character mentions: yuki, mei mei, shoko, toji; alludes to dd/lg relationship (very very mildly) with sukuna; a mix of angst/smut/fluff; domestic; non curse au; reader was in a toxic relationship; reader has daddy issues a bit lol; mentions of troubled past; mentions of death (parental)
:about: you grew up in a supremely wealthy household, but that came with a price. you’ve never had control over your own life, and now your father is set to marry you off. luckily, there's someone else who captures your heart. what does it matter that you pay him for his company?
:note: hi, everyone! this story is finally here, and it's one that's taken me forever to work but I actually loved this piece. I haven't been excited about something I've written in a while. I hope it lives up to all your expectations. comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3 - this fic is one shot, and I am willing to explore stories with the side characters. I'll happily answer any lore questions regarding sex worker geto x rich girl reader, but there will not be a part two or more parts of their story. It is a standalone.
wc: 14K+
The ceiling is covered with hanging irises, each one carefully handcrafted in paper. Edison bulbs dip down from between in staggering heights, illuminating the bar around you in warm light. It’s crowded tonight, clinking glasses and roaring laugher bouncing off the walls and clashing against the bass coming through the speakers. You scan the crowd, anticipation making your stomach flutter, but it quickly eases when you spot a head of golden hair among the audience.
Nanami is at the bar, looking dapper as usual in a chocolate brown suit offset by a cream colored shirt. He’s drinking a whiskey when you approach him, the amber liquid mirroring the touch of bronze on his cheekbones. You sling your designer purse off your shoulder (the latest splurge of the week) and slide into the seat right next to him.
“And how was your vacation?” you ask, greeting him with a question and noticing his mouth draw into a firm line.
“Let’s not talk about it,” he insists, his eyes a little sad which only makes your stomach ache at the sight.
He’s your closest friend - the only real friend you have. Kento Nanami doesn’t carry two faces. He sticks to the one that he has. As one of the top investors in the country, he made a name by keeping the rich wealthy. He loathes his job and the pressures surrounding it - a walking hypocrite for despising the life that lines his pockets.
He can’t find an escape no matter how hard he tries.
And that's why you’re both two peas in a pod.
He does, however, like you - not because of your background, but because you don’t try to be something that you are not as well. In a world where you are surrounded by parasites, Kento proved to be a nearly extinct butterfly, quietly fluttering by your side as you both drift across the harsh jungle around you.
You concede, knowing better than to push his buttons. “Okay, I guess we aren’t talking about it…”
“Tell me something else. Do you ever know how to walk into the room and not be the center of attention?”
You smirk as he calls the waiter over. Your presence easing the twinge of disdain on his face.
“What are you trying to say, hmm?”
“You look nice tonight. New dress?”
“New dress, new bag, new nails...” you list off, showing off each expensive purchase as you check them off your list.
Nanami shakes his head playfully before ordering your usual once the bartender approaches. He angles his body towards you and breathes out a heavy sigh.
“How are you?” He asks, genuine concern masking his face.
Your shoulders drop. “I don’t want to talk about it…”
His expression softens, one hand moving to touch your thigh exposed by the slit of your dress.
“When do you meet Naoya?”
He’s the only other person who knows about the pending engagement. The only person who offered you a way out by proposing instead. Despite his stance within the social community, you know that it’s not an offer that you can easily accept.
Kento wasn’t bred into this world, and that makes all the difference.
Your father would never accept a man from such a humble background. Especially not one whose offer wouldn't benefit him by any means.
“A few weeks from now,” you reply, eyes shifting to the bartender who passes your drink towards you. “He’s given my father specifications on how I should be presented…”
Your friend scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Pardon my vulgarity but he just sounds like the kind of guy who wants to swing his dick around. I’m surprised he hasn’t shown up tonight…”
The opening of the Ayame Lounge & Bar was invite only, exclusive to socialites and the elite. You know that Naoya must have received an invitation, everyone from the Zen’in family was here in attendance including the infamous outcast Toji.
“He wouldn’t be caught dead here,” you inform, picking up your beverage and taking a small sip. “Naoya likes to uphold “tradition” but we all know it’s just a facade.”
Kento’s thumb strokes your skin tenderly, worry ingrained in his gentle eyes.
The two of you spend the night talking, catching up on the little things since his return from a two week vacation in Malaysia. He keeps the conversation light, telling you about his fantastic accommodation and all the food that he ate while he was away. In between you find yourself glancing over his shoulder, your eye on the crowd taking in the people around you.
That’s when you spot him, standing just a few feet away, looking like a demigod among mere aristocrats. His hair is pulled back into a neat bun, a layer of his bangs kissing his forehead. His face is serious, jaw tight and eyes sharp as he focuses on his white haired counterpart. The black tee hugs his torso, his neat slacks cinched by the waist with a leather belt. You can’t help but bite your bottom lip, your mind drifting away from the conversation at hand.
Your friend notices, of course. Kento is so tuned in to everything around him that he almost can’t help himself. He glances over his shoulder to see what caught your attention, only to instantly turn back around and stare at the whiskey glass on the table.
The tips of his ears burn red.
You register the response, knowing exactly what struck him to react in that way.
Satoru Gojo - former porn star, turned model, turned mega influencer. With a follower count in the hundreds of millions, he is the world’s hottest it boy. Nobody can deny his sheer beauty - whenever he walks into a room, he manages to steal a glance from every single person within his vicinity. Due to a rare genetic condition, his sapphire blue eyes and frosty white hair earned him the title of “The Prince”, and the people were desperate to share a place by his side.
Suguru and Satoru were also the best of friends, a fact that Suguru revealed to you one night in bed. The two of them met on set, back when Satoru was still doing adult films. At the time, Suguru was just a camera man and it was Satoru who told him he could increase his earnings if he just performed instead.
You remember telling Suguru: “it’s crazy how quickly his life changed”
“Some people are just lucky,” he responded, though you easily picked up the bitterness laced in his words.
What most people don’t know is that Satoru Gojo is also involved with the man seated right next to you. You stumbled upon Nanami’s secret affair by accident when the two of you attended a resort opening by hotel heiress, Yuki Tsukumo. Everyone was invited to stay overnight for the weekend, and the morning after your first night there, you walked over towards Nanami’s room to grab some breakfast. He greeted you in a grey robe with his hair tousled, with hickeys trailing the side of his neck. You quirked a brow in his direction, your mouth forming into a blatant circle when you found Satoru Gojo fast asleep on his bed right behind him.
The man in question looks away from Suguru towards you and Kento. His brows lifting in surprise when he spots your golden haired friend, but your eyes rest on Suguru who gestures that he will catch Satoru around.
They both walk in opposite directions.
You take a sip of your drink, your eyes shifting to Nanami.
“You’ve got about five seconds to figure out what you want to say because Satoru is walking over here as we speak,” you inform.
He exhales and straightens his back, his guard entirely up.
You smile at Satoru when he approaches you, his pearly whites radiant as always.
“Hi!” He says casually, though you can hear a touch of apprehension in his voice. “Mind if I cut in?”
“Not at all!” you respond, “Can I get you a refill?”
His cheeks blush a subtle shade of pink, the tiny gesture making you understand how easily it is to fawn over such a beautiful face. “It’s just soda, but sure”
“Not drinking tonight?” You continue, glancing between him and Nanami as you wait for your friend to interject.
“Actually, I’m three years sober,” he explains.
“Good for you!” You cheer honestly, before turning to the bartender and ordering him another soda.
From your peripheral vision you see him inch closer towards your friend.
“I haven’t heard from you in a while,” he states, though his voice comes across as a little small.
“I’ve been busy,” Nanami curtly replies, and your brows furrow at his unusual tone.
“Too busy to even say hi?” Satoru continues, his voice low enough that only the three of you can hear each other.
“Aren’t you here with a date?” Nanami chides, glancing up at him with a mocking eye.
“Utahime isn’t my date, we both got invited together by our agency…” Satoru answers through gritted teeth. “Besides, I was hoping to spend time with you. I haven’t heard from you since Kuantan…”
Nanami’s face burns an even brighter shade of crimson, the intimacy of Satoru’s comment flaring his humiliation.
“Come on,” the white haired prince teases, attempting to ease the discomfort. “Don’t be such a grump. Let’s go outside. Get a little fresh air.”
You can see that people are starting to stare at the three of you.
Wherever Satoru goes, eyes follow him.
While he may be immune to the attention, you can clearly see that Nanami is not.
“No, thank you.”
“What? You going to make me beg?” Satoru presses cheekily, but there is a twinge of desperation in his voice.
“Begging is not difficult for somebody like you,” Nanami bites, and you can’t help but glare at him in shock.
“Kento!” you chastise, but the look on his face speaks volumes.
Regret.
Instantaneous Regret.
In front of him is a visible hurt that breaks Satoru’s face, like paint slowly chipping away. His eyes gloss over, and he anxiously rubs his hand over the back of his undercut before excusing himself and turning on his heel.
Nanami covers his face with his palm, while you can only stare at him in disbelief.
“How can you say that to him? I thought you liked him!” You whisper.
“I-I didn’t mean to-”
“You act like you’re ashamed of him whenever he’s around you…”
Nanami avoids your eye, “How do you think this makes me look? I can’t have people seeing us together. I don’t want the world to swallow me up just because he prefers being gawked at by everyone around him”
“That’s his job - it’s how he earns a living. I can’t believe you would degrade him over it,” you shake your head, unaware of where your sudden defenses are coming from.
“I know that…”
“Is that why you don’t want to talk about your trip? Did something happen?”
The man grows quiet, a sigh escaping him.
“I broke up with him”
“You what?” You gasp.
“It'll never work. Our lives are too different”
“You didn’t even give him a chance, Ken. He likes you. He really, really likes you.”
“What chance is there to give? My life would come apart because of him. He would never be truly mine. I would have to share him with the rest of the world day in and day out. And the worst part is that…what should be intimate between us will never be ours either. Do you know that he’s still the highest streamed porn star in the world-”
“He’s just a person. A person like me and you. Neither one of us chose this life. I didn’t ask to be born into my family, and you weren’t asked to save yours from debt. Yet, here we are. Existing in a world that we had to carve out for ourselves. Don’t you think the same applies to him?”
You take another sip of your drink, your cheeks warming with anger at your friend’s condescending tone towards Satoru.
Although, you find your reasons for defending him to be far more self serving.
“So what if he sells his body? That’s his choice to make. Does it change anything else about him? Does it change his feelings for you?” You lecture, “I can’t believe that you be this ungrateful over skewed morals. If you both care about each other, there is no reason why you can’t be together. Take it from somebody who’ll probably never get the chance. This isn’t something you want to simply let go of, Kento. You’ll regret this decision for the rest of your life.”
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Nanami downs his whiskey and excuses himself then, your words stinging the microscopic cuts on his heart. You find yourself a little flustered after watching him walk away, unsure of where that outburst even came from.
The eyes surrounding you look away.
You know you’ve given everyone within your peripheral area a story to gossip about. One that would be twisted and chewed until there is no morsel of truth left in it.
Your drink gives you enough liquid courage to socialize and face the music instead.
You steer your way through the crowd hoping to find one person in particular, but instead you are caught among the net of cliques, old faces, and fake friends. You manage to bypass any pointed questions, passing through each conversation with a forced grin and entertaining the discussions at hand with fluffy anecdotes and petty rumours.
When you walk away, you know full well that there will be whispers behind your back.
That’s the give and take about this world. Everyone is a vulture secretly waiting to witness the rise and fall of those around them. It’s a vicious circle, which is why nobody ever reveals their true hand in the process.
You glance around the room, honing in on the handsome dark haired boy you’ve grown entirely too attached too except you spot someone else in between who makes your spine seize.
Your toes curl in your pointed heels.
Your heart stutters unsteadily.
Blushed strands, a wolfish grin, and a broad build - Sukuna always takes up far more room than he needs.
You personally believe it’s because his ego is so massive it requires that extra space.
You haven’t seen the man in five years, not after the messy relationship that that followed your even messier break up.
You should have known better than to get involved with him while still so young.
You remember that version of you. When you first met Sukuna, you were a small rabbit who had accidentally hopped its way into a lone wolf’s den. Twenty one and just embracing the glitz and glamor of the world around you. The man was charming, flirtatious and most of all dangerous. You couldn’t help but return to his lair, especially when he would take the time and effort to approach you at every function, party and gathering that you attended. When you think about your relationship with Sukuna, it fills you with shame until you can only drown in it. There is a reason why you’ve kept it a secret for so long. Even staring at him right now, the dishonor hangs on your shoulder like a weighted sin that you’re burdened to carry for the rest of your life. Every time it hits, the memories play like a movie on hyper speed.
How often you allowed him to spill his seed all over your body. How often he brought you to tears with his tongue between your legs. How often you would moan the words “daddy” over and over again while riding him. How often you let him manipulate your heart. How often you let him convince you that you were happy.
That twisted relationship was testament to how broken you were.
You didn’t even know about his wife who lived in Kyoto until it was far too late.
Your instinct tells you to turn on your heel and walk in the other direction, but you catch Suguru just up ahead in the crowd and your courage outweighs your hesitation.
You manage to stride past Sukuna, a darting feline scurrying towards the safety of a shadow. Your hammering heart steadies itself when the trail of his strong cologne is a safe distance behind you. You nervously clutch onto the strap of your purse, exhaling a quick breath before marching up to Suguru.
You tap his shoulder twice.
He spins around, eyes lifting as a smile spreads across his handsome face.
Like a full moon on a clear night sky.
“Well, isn’t this a lovely surprise.”
“I sure hope so,” you remark, biting your bottom lip playfully as you glance at your own feet.
Suguru chuckles, taking a step closer. “It is.”
You glance up at him from underneath your lashes, your heart vibrating with pure excitement. You think it’s silly to have such a schoolgirl infatuation over him, especially since you understood the terms that surrounding your relationship.
You pay him for his company.
You aren’t supposed to have a crush on man who you employ to have to sex with you.
Yet, your gut tells you otherwise. Convinces you that the softness in which he speaks is reserved only for you.
“Are you here with anyone?” You ask a little breathlessly, hoping that you weren’t interrupting him working.
Suguru shakes his head.
“Satoru invited me,” he clarifies, and it’s an answer that only makes you giddy.
“Oh!” You squeak, “well that’s nice. It’s a really exclusive party, make sure you to take it in…”
His eyes blatantly fall over you, cascading down your body like ink dripping over a canvas.
Your cheeks warm.
He’s not even hiding that he’s checking you out, and it triggers the wild desire within you.
“Are you here alone?” He questions.
You nod your head, knowing full well that Kento is probably in the midst of a heated conversation with his distraught lover and won’t be returning anytime soon.
“Why don’t you join us then?” He adds, cocking his head to point at the table behind him.
You glance over his shoulder, barely recognizing the crowd.
A fact that seems ideal to you.
“I’d love to,” you say with a pretty smile, all the while Suguru’s eyes continue sparkling.
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
The last time you saw Suguru was a few weeks ago, where your heavy heart spilled the news of your pending engagement.
“An arranged marriage, huh?” he whispered in the dark, his sharp eyes dipping to your naked chest while his delicate fingers carefully pushed the bedsheet further down to your hips.
You inched a little closer into his frame, soaking in the outlines of his chiseled torso and bringing one finger to trace little shapes on his broad shoulder.
Your brows furrowed with annoyance, “yeah, ever heard of the Zen’in family?”
Suguru scoffed, breaking character for only a second but it’s something that you’ve caught him doing more recently. He doesn’t hold his reactions around you as tightly as he used to. The front of this alter ego that he created faltering, which is probably why you find yourself drawn to the person existing underneath the mask of the seducer.
You sigh before continuing your explanation, “my father thinks Naoya Zen’in is a perfect match for me.”
An uneasy expression flickered across Suguru’s face, but he suppresses it before allowing it to linger.
You lifted yourself up onto your elbow and rest your cheek on your palm. “What is it?”
Suguru mirrors your position, his large hand gliding back and forth over the slope of your hips and waistline which sent goosebumps all over your body. “I’ve heard that Naoya…” Suguru stated, pinching the pads of his fingers lightly against your flesh before leaning forward to kiss the crease between your brows, “can be a handful to deal with…”
You thread your fingers around his neck, your lips finding his jaw where you return a kiss. “And who told you that?” you murmured as the weight of Suguru’s body rolls on top of yours.
You were staring at his devastatingly handsome face from below. The longer you spent time with him the more you began to wonder about his circumstances and a reoccurring thought crossed your mind once more.
Suguru could truly be anything he wanted, but instead he was here making a killing off of fucking lonely women and porn videos.
You don’t judge his choices, but you couldn't help but feel puzzled by the situation especially when you knew the trajectory of his best friend’s career path.
One photo shoot at a mid-level fashion brand skyrocketed Satoru Gojo’s career and made him a household name. Yet, Suguru Geto was a taboo that was whispered behind closed doors.
“I have a client who likes to gossip,” he admitted.
That’s all you got because Suguru kept everything else about his clients confidential. You shivered when his mouth met your neck, his lips sucking along the tender skin that sent goosebumps all over your chest, but there’s an ache in your heart when you consider that if it wasn’t for the signed cheque in your purse, he wouldn’t even be here in the first place.
Not a single man you’ve met in the world compared to Suguru. You’ve never known how sweet lovemaking can be until he fucked you for the time. Not only was he beautiful beyond comprehension, but he was charming and extremely smart. You found yourself enjoying his company beyond physical purposes, and conversations with him turned out to be one of your favorite ways to pass time.
“Think we’ll still get together when you’re a missus?” he teased, his lips trailing lower to your collar bones and hovering just a above your breasts.
The thought of you getting married only made you sick.
“Do you peg me as a terrible wife? a woman who would happily cheat on her husband?” you questioned, your voice trembling when Suguru circled his lips around your hard nipple.
He hummed, drawing out a whimper when he nipped at the bud lightly, his tongue gliding over the hardened nub.
“No,” he answered, his voice dropping an octave and your mind swirled when you contemplate if that strange tone is actually jealousy. He rested his chin on your chest, his inky hair framing his face in a waterfall of obsidian. “I do, however, peg Naoya as a terrible husband.”
You sank your fingers into his locks, “it doesn’t matter who my father chooses. All these men are the same. Naoya is no worse than the rest. I’m trapped regardless…”
It was the first time you allowed yourself to think about Sukuna when in bed with Suguru. The first time you thought about the last four years and the many men who tried to weasel their way into your heart just for the sake of obtaining status. The discomfort is written plainly on your face. Suguru doesn’t know that seeking him out was your way of taking matters into your own hands, even in just the smallest way.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he responded sincerely, the kindness in his voice the reason why your eyes prick with tears.
You sniffled, using your free hand to wipe away a rogue droplet that freely falls down your cheek. Suguru adjusted his position so he was lying by your side. He didn't say anything but draws you into his chest for a hug, enveloping you in his warmth. You tried hard not to consider the reality of the situation, and accept the gesture freely as you cuddle him.
But the moment of peace is interrupted by a loud vibration. You and Suguru both perked up to stare at his phone buzzing on the side table.
Your heart sank.
Another client.
Suguru reached his arm around to grab the phone, and you closed your eyes to inhale his natural scent, trying to soak him in for as long as you can before he leaves you like he’s done many times before.
To your surprise he simply switched it off, before proceeding to wrap his arm back around you to return to his position.
“You sure you don’t need to take that?” you mumbled, trying to play off your disappointment as casually as possible.
“I’m booked out for the rest of the evening,” he answered nonchalantly, “there’s no reason to respond.”
A tickle in your belly sent sparks all over your skin. “but your cheque only covers the hours we agreed on…”
Two fingers touched the underside of your chin, and Suguru tilted your head up so you were both face to face again. “Don’t worry about it,” he consoled, his thumb lightly outlining your bottom lip, “this is on the house.”
What bliss it was to fall asleep in his arms that night. You recall waking up right before dawn to find him in deep slumber, his strong arm draped protectively across your body with the heat cocooning you from the rest of the world.
Disappointment shattered you the next morning, when you were greeted by the sun and an empty bed.
You’re not sure when Suguru had snuck out, but you were puzzled to find that your cheque was still tucked away safely in your purse.
It was the first time he walked away without any payment.
You still vividly remember his reaction when he met you just a little over a year ago.
“You’re young,” he blurted, his eyes widening with confusion.
“We’re around the same age,” you replied defensively, already feeling insecure for having hired him after spending weeks watching his videos. You didn’t even know about his house calls until you heard it from a source within your social circle. "Is this how you greet all your clients?”
Suguru raised his brow in contemplation, “my other clients don’t look like you…”
Over time you learned that he catered to a specific demographic: older divorcees and cheating housewives.
The person you might turn into years from now if this marriage goes through.
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
After that night you told yourself that you would schedule another meeting with Suguru to compensate him for his last session.
Right now, all you can think about is your heart hammering when Suguru subtly interlaces his fingers with your own, and leads you through the crowd until you both find a safe spot on the corner of the lounge chair. His group is far too engrossed in their own conversations to notice you both, drunk on the buzzing night and enjoying the many amenities of this exclusive party.
“You look nice,” you compliment, catching Suguru’s attention while trying to ignoring his knees bumping against yours.
“As do you,” he replies, his voice smoother than velvet. “But you don’t need me to tell you that you’re gorgeous.”
Oh but I do, you think, masking your excitement with a giggle and casual roll of your eyes. I could hear you tell me that forever.
Suguru shyly looks down at his lap, hiding his own smile.
It’s strange, you think, how the two of you are talking. Like this man hasn’t been inside you multiple times and made you cum until you can’t think straight. Like he doesn’t know your body in the most intimate sense.
Like you don’t fund a decent chunk of his salary.
“Are you enjoying the party?”
Suguru shrugs, “It’s not too bad. Though, I’m not one for big crowds if I am being completely honest...”
“Makes sense. I don’ get a kick out of it as much as I used to.”
Suguru angles his body to face you, giving you his full attention. “Why’s that?”
You sigh, your hands suddenly feeling empty without a drink. You sling your purse off your shoulder and place it between you both, before proceeding to fiddle with the fabric of your dress instead.
You can lie, but you don’t know how.
Well, you don’t know how to lie with him.
Something about starting this contract with Suguru unveiled a level of vulnerability in you that you can’t seem to hide. The first night you both spent together you were a nervous wreck, stumbling and bumbling over words trying to find excuse after excuse as to why a woman of your age would even hire him. By your third appointment, you asked if he could be slow and gentle with you, the emotional scars of your previous relationship a stinging wound. You were desperate for tenderness, and Suguru obliged with your request. By the end you found yourself reaching your climax with tears in your eyes.
If you were to list out more moments like this, you would simply go on and on.
You can’t hide your truth with Suguru when it was the first thing you’ve ever shown him.
“Because it’s a constant reminder that I can be in a room full of people I know and still feel incredibly alone…” you mumble, your gaze catching his.
His hand finds your thighs, the warmth of his large palm burning through the fabric of your dress.
“You’re not alone tonight, sweetheart,” he reassures.
“You don’t have to be so nice…” you insist, suddenly self conscious over his flattery. The same sweetness he bestows upon you when you’re both locked away in a hotel room somewhere, but you didn’t sign off on any bonus transactions tonight.
He squeezes your thigh and tilts his head. “But I like being nice to you”
He says it so matter of factly it almost makes you faint.
Your brows upturn with confusion. “Why?”
His touch expands upward, grazing over the curve of your thigh, bunching the material of your dress between his fingers. He leans closer, the scent of bergamot wafting up your nose and kissing your neck.
“Look there,” he states, and you follow the line of his gaze.
“That woman has been married for fifteen years and her husband never got her off once. And that woman…” he continues, shifting his eyes from body to body, “has a birth mark just above her hip bone. And at the table right behind us,”
When you turn your face you accidentally bump into the tip of his nose.
“...are two sisters who pretend they get along well but are currently in a massive fight over their inheritance”
Your stomach coils with jealousy. “Acquaintances of yours?”
Suguru leans back slightly, giving you both room to breathe.
“Yes, clients…” he confirms, “there’s a few of them here tonight, but you’re the only one who acknowledges me. I’m just a dirty little secret to the rest.”
Your envy dwindles into sympathy, and you can’t help but let the question slip.
“How does that make you feel?”
There’s a twitch in Suguru’s jaw, a hint of scarred pride. You know he has plenty of it, he just hides it well.
The man shrugs, averting his sharp gaze as he downs the rest of his drink. “It is what it is”
Oh, but that response doesn’t nothing to help your heart, the muscle practically screaming at your brain to do so something and make him feel better.
Mindlessly, you loop both arms around his bicep, casually resting your chin on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way...”
You’re not sure why you’re apologizing, but you’re hoping it’ll mean something to him. He turns to face you, and if he inched a little closer he could probably kiss you.
“You are an enigma to me”
“In what way?”
He brushes his lips past your own, making you catch your breath for a moment. His mouth trails its way up to your ear, and he whispers a sentence that sends goosebumps running all over your body.
“In the way that how a woman like you can fit in a life like this”
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
The night carries on, the pulse of hedonism sending reverberations across the establishment. The crowd grows larger, the air a potion of liquor, expensive cologne, sweat and pleasure. The lights dim, inducing everyone into the trance of the ambience set around them, allowing them to indulge and consume. Your conversation with Suguru feels like minutes, but two whole hours pass with the both you concealed from the crowd. You’re almost mesmerized by him when he talks, cast under an entirely different spell that seems to effect nobody else. His touches turn more intimate the longer you speak, with Suguru securing his arm around your waist and leaning back against the chair as he keeps you tucked into his frame.
That’s another thing you started noticing - how this man likes to hold you.
He even did it when you were in bed together last.
And the time before that.
And the time before that.
And the time before that-
If you weren’t surrounded by so many eyes you would simply curl into him, but you find yourself restraining while thinking of what excuse might work to get you both out of here because you just want to be alone with him.
“Can I get you a drink?” Suguru offers, a wave of disappointment rolling into you as he untangles himself slowly.
“Just some water...”
Suguru kisses the inside of your wrist with the reassurance that he’ll be right back, but the public display only makes your cheeks bloom with endearment.
“Got it”
When he stands up and walks away is when you notice how the crowd around you has dispersed. Most of Suguru’s party were gone - standing either by the bar or caught in the middle of the dance floor. You can see that there were a few shifty eyes staring at you, and a lump forms in your throat when you realize that by allowing yourself to melt into Suguru it meant that you revealed your weakness to the rest of the wild.
You take a second to readjust - fixing the hem of your dress before pulling out your pocket mirror and reapplying your lipstick. You fight off any anxious thoughts, sticking a big metaphorical middle finger to whoever was watching you with any hint of judgement.
Your care for Suguru outweighed their own by tons.
You just didn’t know how far you had let your guard down until a strange shadow veils over you.
“Red still looks good on you.”
Your heart doesn’t sink, it seizes, collapses into itself when you drop the mirror in your hand. His dark chuckle makes your spine tingle with unease. Sukuna kneels to pick up your mirror, his devilish smiling greeting you as you swallow the lump in your throat.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” He teases, huffing out another laugh when you snatch the pocket mirror from his hand and quickly throw your things back into your purse.
“I have to go.”
You bolt onto your feet, only to pause when his contact scorches your forearm.
“What’s the rush? I’m just saying hi.”
You shrug him off aggressively, eyes violent and full of fury.
“I don’t want to say hi to you. As a matter of fact, I hope that we never have to speak again.”
“C’mon doll, don’t be like that. It’s water under the bridge…”
His nonchalance enrages in you ways that you can’t describe, but rather than make a scene you smoothly shove him aside before uttering “asshole” and storming off towards the bar.
Your frantic eyes search for your solace, of the man who can suture any wound that’s in desperate need of healing. You spot him from behind, noticing that he is speaking to a friend, his shoulder leaning on the bar as he patiently waits to pick up the drinks like he promised. Refusing to look back because you know Sukuna is probably on your trail, you breathe out your apprehension to compose yourself and keep one hand securely on your purse before steadily making your way towards to Suguru.
You hear the two of them as you draw closer, unintentionally eavesdropping on the conversation at hand.
“Who’s the chick?” his friend asks.
“A friend.” Suguru replies.
“Which friend?” they press.
“None of your business…”
“Ah, one of your desperate clients I’m guessing?”
You cease before making your presence known.
Stunned; your face boiling with embarrassment.
“Shut up.”
“It’s so obvious, Suguru-” his friend scoffs, “she’s practically crawling on your lap. It’s fucking pathetic, don’t you think?”
Pathetic?
The word splits you into half.
Is that how Suguru sees you?
Is that how everyone else does to?
Something clicks then, every memory and act of kindness tainted with the thought the man was simply pitying you. That the root of his good-hearted nature was merely sympathy towards a sad, broken little rich girl.
Suguru picks up the drink, mumbling a “fuck off” before turning on his heel only to find you standing there stupefied by his friend’s demeaning commentary. Only an idiot would assume that you probably didn’t hear a thing, but Suguru is far smarter than that. Whatever trace of the mask he’s been wearing dissipates then, and you see the genuine concern on his face. He parts his lips but you’re too wounded for an explanation, and you instantly dash past both of them, excusing yourself politely before speed walking your way towards the exit.
You can hear him call out your name, but there is no way you would let that man see you crying after what was just said.
Of course he doesn’t like me, you self-consciously deliberate, I pay him to fuck me.
I pay him to fucking like me.
A sob leaves you, and you cover your mouth with the back of your hand as you rush past the bouncer and dart out the front door, leaving a crowd of people staring at you with confusion. All of them hoping to make their way inside.
“Must be drunk,” one person says, while another screams at the bouncer “hey, can you let us in?! Someone just left!”
You strut down the street, desperately trying to maintain your balance as you dab your eyes lest your tears ruin your make up. You hear someone call out your name, half hopeful that it might Suguru but when you glance over your shoulder all you see is the dreadful sight of your ex-boyfriend.
You keep walking. “Don’t follow me.”
Sukuna is quick to catch up, practically jogging down the street and you curse your choice in footwear for slowing you down.
“Then don’t keep running away.”
You halt, the man nearly colliding into you from behind.
“What?!” you spit out as you glare up at him. “What do you want from me?”
Sukuna arches his brow, the smell of whiskey sticking to him. “The fuck got you so worked up?”
You wipe away any leftover tears, your indignation towards this man overriding all other emotions.
“None of your fucking business…”
Sukuna reaches for your elbow, “Let’s not be testy. My car is in front of the bar. Let me take you home.”
You already caught that eye sore of a ridiculously expensive sports car when you stepped out of club. “I’d rather walk home barefoot on a bed of hot coals then go anywhere with you.”
“Don’t be like that, kitten…”
“Don’t,” you snapped, “call me that.”
“You know I still nothing but love for you, right?” He slurs mildly, “Let me take you back to my place and we can talk-”
His thumb grazes your elbow gently. Once upon a time you actually believed that his affection was real, but you’re older and wiser to know the truth now. “You miss my pussy,” you crudely admonish, “you don’t give a fuck about me.”
He pinches your elbow with mild irritation. “Why don’t you tuck those claws back. I’m trying to have a fucking conversation.”
“If a conversation is what you want, then speak to your fucking wife-” you hiss, striking a cord that makes Sukuna furrow his brows which brings you an odd sense of satisfaction.
His face falls.
You huff with approval.
“What?” your mock, “cat got your tongue?”
“Is everything alright?”
You and Sukuna both halt, your heads twisting to face whoever spoke with Sukuna letting go of you faster than you can even blink. You only catch a tiny glimpse of his fear, the terror that somebody caught him in the act.
Thankfully, it was only Suguru.
Your body hums with relief.
One hand is in his pocket, the other keeping a helmet tucked under his wing. His stance is relaxed but his irises are piercing daggers sinking into Sukuna’s skull.
“Everything’s fine-” Sukuna insists.
“Suguru,” you call out at the same time, instantly going to him and finding your place by his side.
The word pathetic hammers in the back of your mind but you need deal with one problem at a time, and right now you don’t care about looking desperate if it means escaping the shackles of Ryomen Sukuna.
Suguru’s eyes don’t leave your ex-lover, but he inches closer towards you to assert his ground.
Sukuna frowns, the expression on his face all too familiar.
You clutch Suguru’s sleeve, “Nothing to fret over. Do you mind taking me home?”
He turns to face you, a mixture of worry with a flare of anger on that handsome face.
“Yeah, I’ll take you home.”
“Tsk,” Sukuna grumbles with frustration, “Don’t cheapen yourself by fucking off with some whore…”
A static shock trickles each point of the triangle where you all stand. The hair on the back of your neck stands upright, your attention moving to Suguru whose entire face darkens with a fury that you’ve never seen before. He steps forward, his helmet dropping to his hand like he’s ready to wield it as a weapon, and the target is the spot on Sukuna’s skull that he’s been carefully observing. Your vision goes white imagining the outcome of this blow out, and you can practically hear the crack of the impact if Suguru follows through.
Despite how much he deserved it, you know just how powerful Sukuna is.
He would ruin Suguru without any remorse.
“Suguru,” you beg, stepping forward and clutching onto his shirt as you reel him away from the man before you.
His nostrils flare, the intoxicating poison of wrath swirling in his irises which quickly diffuses upon finding you.
“Take me home?” You softly repeat, earnest and sincere, all the while erasing Sukuna from your presence entirely.
It only takes a few seconds for Suguru to register your request, but he complies by reaching for your hand and knotting his fingers between your own. He grips it protectively, eyes looking straight ahead as he leads you down the street and far away from the chaos behind you.
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
The patter of your feet colliding onto the concrete surface echoes around you. A part of you is embarrassed, the other ashamed, a third grateful while a fourth shivers anxiously. You’re thankful that Suguru is at least allowing the silence to linger because it’s giving you a chance to settle from the roller coaster of emotions you just experienced. You try not to think about the pressure of his grip, or how the length of his fingers are wrapped securely around yours and instead piece together some semblance of an explanation worthy for him to listen to.
You eventually decide that you’ll just grab a cab back to your place. That you’ll thank Suguru for playing the role of rescuer, and hand off the cheque that you’ve been holding onto. You won’t be a burden, bother him any longer or a do anything else to force his empathy.
Suguru pauses in front of a jet black motorbike. The color itself blending into the darkness around you. You clear your throat ready to make your declaration, but you’re silenced when you feel the weight of his helmet press against your palms.
“Wear this,” he commands. “I’ll take you to my place.”
Your mouth goes slack, your practiced words shrinking to the back of your throat.
His place.
“Your place?” You find yourself whispering your thoughts out loud.
Suguru reaches for the handle of his bike, tapping his index finger against it, his back facing you. “If you want.”
He hops on before searching you for an answer. The look animates you back to reality and you nod your head before swiftly putting on the helmet. You find your place behind him, taking a second longer to adjust in your dress. You knot your arms around his waist, your eyes noting his exposed head.
“You don’t have a helmet.” You point out.
“I don’t live that far,” he answers back, “besides, I didn’t think I’d be traveling with precious cargo.”
He taps his palm over your clasped hands. “Hold tight for me, alright?”
You nod your head, covering your face with the shield visor before resting your cheek against his back.
Suguru takes off.
The wind whips against your bare arms, the pressure sweeping between your legs as Suguru swerves between each lane. The city blurs into vivid colors, only resurfacing when you come to an immediate halt at the traffic light. The adrenaline courses through your veins, the exhilarating sensation a thrill that you’ve never experienced before. Unfortunately, the journey was short lived and within twenty minutes you find yourself coming to a halt in an underground parking lot.
Suguru parks the bike, hopping off before reaching his hand out to assist you.
Your legs felt like jelly when it hits the surface, and you tumble on your own footing as Suguru reaches his other hand out to steady you by holding your waist.
“You okay? Was I going to fast?”
You take off the helmet, attempting to make yourself look somewhat presentable.
“No, no” you answer a little breathless, “that…that was actually kind of fun…”
“First time?”
You nod your head.
Suguru hums.
He takes the helmet away from you and directs you straight to the entrance of his apartment building. He pulls out an electronic key, and presses it against the elevator door. The elevator pings, the panels sliding open as you both step inside. Suguru clicks the button to his floor and you both stand on opposite sides watching the numbers go up.
Suguru lived in a newer development, you could tell when you walked through the hallway as he stands in front of his apartment door, and uses the same key to grant you both entrance.
As you enter the hallway, you’re greeted by a wall with mounted iron hooks. There’s five to be exact, each one holding a different helmet with one space empty. Suguru fits the helmet back onto the vacant spot, before glancing over his shoulder and finding you still by the door struggling to take off your heels.
He returns and kneels before you. His hands carefully moving your fingers away.
“Let me help with that”
“You don’t have to-” but you’re interrupted with him patting his thigh in gesture.
You bite your bottom lip and place one foot against him, careful not to dig your heel into him.
He delicately unravels the straps around your ankle and slips of the heel with a brush to the back of your calf, making the muscle twitch.
“Other foot,” he instructs, then repeats.
After placing your shoes neatly by the door, he stands up and reaches for your hand once more. “This way”
You take it warmly, and follow him while trying your best not to acknowledge the noticeable height difference with you two standing side by side.
You never paid much attention to it before, you didn't have too really considering you both spent most of your time together in parallel positions.
Suguru leads you into the living room, and a small gasp escapes you when you are met with floor to ceiling windows. The horizon is of the city skyline, but it’s half blocked by a decent size balcony which is covered in greenery. The scene contrasts the inside of Suguru’s apartment, which is more minimal. To your right is a small dining nook, the light above an accent piece that added some detail to the decor. To your left is a small furniture set, the sage green fabric making you avert your gaze with shame because your recognized that very same couch in most of Suguru’s videos.
You find yourself quickly staring at your feet.
“Can I get you anything to drink? Water? Tea?”
“Tea would be great,” you answer back, returning to look directly at him from underneath your lashes. “Do you have anything herbal?”
“Mhmm.”
You follow him into the kitchen and realize that the man keeps his place meticulously clean. The back counter is what catches your attention the most. Suguru has a full serviced at home barista station set up for his own convenience. You pick out the coffee grinder, espresso machine, assortment of tea pots, jars of fresh leaves and coffee bags all neatly organized.
Suguru pulls out one jar with a hand written label that reads "lemon balm and chamomile".
You slip off your purse and place it on the counter behind him. “Did you make all these yourself?”
“My parents used to run a tea shop in Hokkaido,” he answers back.
“A tea shop?” You squeak, a little too excited from the morsel of information about his personal life that he just bestowed. “That must have been lovely…”
“It was,” he answers, his voice growing small.
You watch him fill the kettle with water, before placing it on the electric stove to warm up. He opens the jar, closing the gap of space between you both and lifts it to your nose.
“Take a deep breath in,”
You oblige, and inhale.
“Oh my,” you sigh out loud, your fingers subconsciously clasping over his own as your eyes flutter from the aroma of citrus, ginger, flora and subtle spice. It calms every firing nerve in your body. “That smells wonderful”
When you open them again, you see that Suguru is looking at you thoughtfully.
“It tastes good too,” he says proudly, and your heart glows at the reaction. “I was a terrible night owl as a kid. Still am, I guess. My mom used to make this to help me go to sleep…”
“That’s really sweet,” you admit, wondering how lovely it must be to be looked after with such care.
He slips away again, taking a spoon and putting a generous amount of the blend into a ceramic tea pot. You hear the tea bubble lightly, but your head spins as Suguru cages you in place while you both wait for it to reach the right temperature. Your back is against the counter, his arms by your side.
“That guy you were talking to. Who was that?” He questions, cutting right to the chase.
“Nobody important,” you confess, “he’s an asshole.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I’m sorry about what he said to you. What he called you…”
Suguru’s fingers dig into the counter, making the muscles in his arms flex with irritation.
“Don’t apologize for him. Don’t apologize for any of them.” He firmly maintains. “Their words are empty to me...”
“You almost bashed his head in,” you point out, a tiny smile easing the tension binding around the man before you.
“I almost bashed his head because of the way he spoke to you-”
Your eyes widen.
Was he being protective? You think, but shake your head when you think of what kind of pitiful state you must have been that would cause Suguru to react in such a way.
Pathetic.
Your shoulders dwindle slightly and you shake it off to gather yourself once more.
“He was a terrible mistake. I was young, and stupid. I thought I knew better when I really had no fucking clue…”
You didn’t realize how bitter you sounded until two fingers press underneath your jaw.
His thumb taps your chin in a featherlight touch. “Is it over? Whatever it was?”
“Of course,” you answer, the truth acrid on your tongue. “I’m to marry Naoya Zen’in, remember?”
Suguru frowns. “He’s no better. I told you that myself.”
You circle your hand around his wrist. “I’ll take anyone over Sukuna. Even if that person is Naoya…”
“Why can’t you just choose?”
You press your lips together and sigh. “Because it’s a transaction. I’m a token in my father’s universe. If he weds me off to the Zen’in’s then it’s profitable. Good for business…”
“I’m sure if you speak with him, he’ll understand-”
“Don’t be so naive,” you answer as you return to meet his gaze. “My father doesn’t love me. He just owns me. I spent most of my adolescence alone while he was busy working or galavanting off with his mistress. I think he assumed that if he kept shoving money my way, I wouldn’t notice his absence…”
The kettle sings, making you both jump in place as the water bubbles aggressively and a small spiral of steam releases from the lip. Suguru returns to making your beverage. Picking up the kettle and pouring the hot water into the pot. He places it on a tray, along with a beautiful cup.
“The tea needs a couple of minutes to steep. In the meanwhile, I’m going to change into something more comfortable.” He announces, “You want some spare clothes?”
You look down at your designer frock, the material snug on your body.
“Yeah, I’d like that”
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Suguru’s white shirt falls to your mid thigh, the material a little see through and revealing the bra you had on underneath. You eye the pair of worn boxers he handed to you to wear as shorts, but slyly tuck your bottom lip between your teeth before leaving it behind and walking out with your bare legs on display.
You’re not quite sure what the plan is here, but you don't see yourself leaving anytime soon.
You head back towards the kitchen where you pick up your purse, your dress folded between your hands carefully. Suguru is opening the door to the balcony, having changed into a cut sleeve shirt that exposes his arms and a hint of his ribs, as well as a pair of loose shorts. When he hears you enter, his attention instantly falls to your plush thighs, a hint of crimson blushing his cheek.
“Where can I keep my stuff?” You ask innocently, pretending to ignore his reaction.
“Anywhere is fine,” he answers back, his voice thick.
He tells you that he’ll wait for you outside, and in the meantime you put down your stuff onto the coffee table in front of his sofa.
You unzip your purse, Suguru’s cheque staring you at you with wide, scolding eyes.
Pathetic.
You furrow your brows at the voice inside your head, and swipe the payment before folding it and tucking it securely against your hip underneath the waistband of your underwear.
You head outside, sliding the window close behind you.
Suguru is sitting on a deck chair, the two of you camouflaged by the array of his overgrown plants. He pours your cup of tea, the aroma twirling between the current of the wind as he offers it your way. You pick it up, bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. A heavy sigh escapes you, and you remain standing leaning back against the cool glass surface as you stare out into the distance.
“Like it?” Suguru asks, and you only notice then that he has also brought out a second cup for himself and is pouring his own drink.
“It’s divine,” you respond.
“I’m glad”
The two of you sit in silence once more, mindlessly sipping your tea while contemplating the other person. You’re both at a clear standstill, carefully tiptoeing over the boundary that has so been strictly set in place.
A reminder of that is the folded cheque digging into your skin.
“How did you find out about contacting me?” Suguru randomly wonders.
You look towards him and he shrugs before adding on, “I never asked. I find myself curious.”
You thrum your nails against the glass cup, taking another sip of your tea before replying, “I saw you at a party with Satoru. I was with a group of friends, and one of them noticed me recognizing you. She asked if I was…familiar with your work. And when I told her I was she informed me that you both were…intimate.”
“Was it Mei?”
Your face falls at the blatant disregard of confidentiality.
“How-How did you know?”
Suguru huffs, and sips his tea.
“She’s the only other client I had close to our age. Wasn’t hard to make the connection…”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Go for it,” he replies.
“I’ve always been curious as to how you wound up doing what you do,” you bite your bottom lip nervously, your hands trembling slightly holding your glass and you hope that Suguru wouldn’t notice your sudden unease.
“Ah,” he acknowledges, his free hand moving to rub the back of his neck and you can’t help but sneak a peak at his abdomen from the side. “Well, I told you how I wound up making the videos. For a long time I just did solo work, but I knew I could make more money if I had on-screen partners to film with. I had a few good connections with some actresses and hired a friend to make a video with me…”
You knew exactly which one he was talking about.
The actress in question was well known, and the video was an amateur clip that was filmed on the very same couch that you walked passed earlier.
You clench your thighs together.
You don’t even want to admit how many times you came to that particular video.
“I didn’t know it would blow up in the way that it did. Shoko and I made a killing off it. We both saw the potential and we wound up doing six full episodes - trying out different techniques, roleplaying in a few…”
“But you stopped posting after that…”
Suguru pauses. “How would you know that?”
You swallow a big gulp of tea.
“I might have been a big fan of your work before we met.”
“Really?” He answers with a slight tilt of his head, clearly very amused.
“I wouldn’t have reached out to just anyone, you know. But I was really interested in...your work, and when I learned about your little side gig. I couldn’t resist…”
“Well, color me flattered, sweetheart.”
You swirl the last bits of tea in your cup.
“So, why did you stop posting?”
“I kept the videos up. They’re good and I still make revenue with every ad or view. Satoru’s career was picking up around that time, and he had just gotten clean. He needed somebody to hold him accountable so I started tagging along at his events. I didn’t realize how many people would recognizeme. My first client wasn’t even "a client", he gestures with air quotes, "she was just some woman I met and slept with. I woke up the next morning to an empty hotel room. All that she left behind was an envelope of cash…”
He pauses.
“I didn’t know what to feel. A part of me was insulted but another part had never seen that much money handed over so easily. The videos were great but what I earned in a day, is what I got in just a few hours. I was in my mid-twenties, just left the brink of making ends meet and desperate for security. I deposited the cash and kept going. Somehow it snowballed into…” he gestures his arms out, “this.”
He pours himself another cup of tea. “At first I was a little reckless. Took on too many clients it damn near gave me a health scare. So, I started spacing them out. Keeping to a set number a month and maintaining a high price. I didn’t think that so many people would actually pay for my services, but they do...and I'm comfortable.”
“Does it ever overwhelm you?”
“Not anymore. Keeping my partners to a minimum helps. I’m safe and get tested regularly, as I mentioned when we first met,” He lifts the teapot your direction to offer you a second cup, and you accept it by approaching him and allowing him to fill your glass.
“The thing is I went from never knowing when I was going to eat to having three meals a day. I don’t think I’d change that for the world…”
“What about your family? Your friends?” You find yourself mindlessly asking. "How do they feel about this?"
“Satoru and Shoko are the only ones who know. Everyone else thinks it’s porn that funds my life. As for my family,” Suguru stops, his voice scratchy as he quickly clears his throat. “Well, they don’t have to worry about it. My parents passed away when I was fifteen. It's just been me ever since”
The tea burns your lip and your body trembles at the statement.
“I’m so sorry…”
He shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly.
There’s a heaviness in the air, and despite how hard he’s trying to hide it you can see how the memory tears him apart.
“My mom passed away giving birth to me,” you find yourself disclosing to even the scale, “I think that’s probably why my father resents me so much. He never got a son, and lost his wife in the process”
“I’m sorry to hear that too…”
You mirror his shrug. “It’s weird. I find myself curious about her - but there’s a detachment when I look at her. Sometimes I think about how different my life might be if she was still around. Or, if she was just like my father and everything would still be the same…”
“Well, since we are speaking of hypotheticals,” Suguru moves on, shifting the topic as he angles his body more in your direction. “If you had the freedom to whatever you wanted, what would you do?”
“Me?” You gasp, shocked by his pointed question.
He smiles an easy smile, “I don’t see anybody else around.”
You hum thoughtfully. “This might take a minute…”
He places his cup of tea on the tray by his side and then pats his free hand on his thigh.
“C’mere and think.”
Your heart flies up your throat, pulsing just at the base. “You want me to sit on your lap?”
Suguru nods his head.
You gulp down the vessel, returning it back to its place. You glide your way towards him, placing the tea cup just next to his own, before settling down onto his lap.
Suguru wraps his arm around your waist, securing you close into his frame.
“Do you hold your other clients like this?”
He shakes his head no.
“So, you like holding me…” you bluntly point out, “why’s that?”
Suguru’s face is directly in front of yours, so beautiful you can almost faint right here in his arms. He fingers dig into your waist, his other arm curving over your thigh and gently drawing circles on your hip.
“Because you fit nicely against me”
A swarm of butterflies take flight, making you feel lighter than air. You swear he might kiss you then but instead he returns to his question. “So, tell me what would you do?”
The answer comes to you far easier than you think. From the moment you saw him tonight, you know the truth in the depths of your heart. “I’d like to run away with you,” you confess before stuttering out, “or-or at least somebody like you. Someone who is kind and sweet and thoughtful...”
Suguru leans back against the chair, lifting up one leg and adjusting your positions. He’s careful not to kick the tray with the tea.
“And where would we go?”
You sling your arms around his neck, “anywhere - anywhere but here.”
Suguru slides his palm over the slop of your rear, slipping it underneath the fabric of his shirt and tracing a line over the dimples on your lower back.
“What would we do?”
“We could lay outside just like this and watch the stars.”
He hums, “we don’t get any stars out here in the city...”
“No, we don’t.”
“What else would we do?”
His other hand starts to unbutton the front of your shirt, revealing the details of the lace underneath. He cups your right breast, his lips shifting to find your neck.
“We’d do this too,” you sing merrily.
“Look at stars and fuck our brains out?” He teases, his teeth nipping at your skin. “Sounds like a dream to me…”
He gropes the fat of your breast, unknotting every single secret. “what else?”
“We’ll sleep all day, and kiss until we’re bored of one another…”
The hand on your breast moves to circle your neck, Suguru’s thumb massaging the column.
“I’d never grow bored kissing you-”
Your body renders against his touch. “Suguru,” you moan, your lips seeking his own.
Before you can even meet for the kiss, he mumbles your name and follows up with the claim: “you should run away with me.”
You giggle, still living in the proposed fantasy. “I’m trying to…”
“I’m being serious”
The tone of his voice is the reason why you stop to kiss him, pulling away to face the man before you.
There's no denying the truth on his face - he is actually quite serious about the declaration.
You hear the dreaded word once more: pathetic. Pathetic because this man is an expert at fulfilling fantasies, is a professional when it comes to healing the hearts of the lonely.
Pulling yourself out of this delusional imagination, you push off him before standing up straight.
“That’s not funny, Suguru”
“Who says I’m being funny?” He responds sincerely.
“What is this? What are we doing? What am I doing? You can’t just-” you lament, pressing your forehead to hand in disbelief as you enter the confines of his apartment, taking a second to breathe. “You can’t just say things like that-”
He calls out your name again, but the kraken has already been released.
He follows, tracking into his abode right behind you, all the while watching you stand in the middle of his living room with your quivering hands reaching for the waistband of your underwear.
“This was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have-I shouldn’t have gone through with all of this,” you yank out the cheque, showing it to him. “You don’t have to take pity on me. I know I’m just another desperate, pathetic client, alright? I promise you don't have to keep putting up with me and my drama after this. And you sure as hell don't have to keep giving me these mixed messages which only confuse me. I can’t have things getting complicated right before this engagement is about to happen. So, here. Take this cheque and let’s just forget everything else about tonight.”
Suguru stands there, pensive. His eyes look to the folded paper in your hand, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. Instead of reaching for the paper, he simply walks past you, making you spin on your heel as you follow his movements with sheer bewilderment.
He heads towards the shelf behind you and pulls out a tiny box. He removes something from it, before walking back and facing you once more.
“Shit got complicated about eight cheques ago, sweetheart,” he negates, holding the thin stack papers between his two fingers as he brings it to your face. His eyes fall to to the crumpled one you are currently holding, “Well, counting the one in your hand, I’d say nine...”
You can’t believe it.
You pick up the wad and sift through each paper; each cheque one of yours, the date issued a reflection of your last nine meetings with Suguru.
None of them cashed in.
“Why do you still have these?”
Two hands find your waist, your forearms fall into Suguru’s chest as you stare mindlessly at the cheques fanned out between your fingers.
“I didn’t have it on my conscious to deposit them once I realized my feelings for you. I'm sorry about what you heard earlier, but what Mahito said doesn't apply to you at all,” he responds. “You stopped being a client to me for quite some time...”
You look up at him.
His touch tightens around your waist. “You can’t marry Naoya. Or, you shouldn’t. But if you do, I don’t want us to stop seeing one another. We can work something out…”
“Suguru,” you pine, dropping the papers in your hand, each one twirling onto the ground, thousands at your feet.
His lips catch yours in a subtle peck, all before circling over your bottom lip and sucking on the plush base. He slides his tongue between your lips, feeling yourcrumple into him as the paper crinkles beneath your feet. You moan feeling the sensation of his tongue slide across yours - he tastes like running across a field of chamomile flowers, like you’re holding a basket of fresh, ripe lemons.
Like you're savoring the most beautiful sunrise.
His hands return to finish unbuttoning your shirt, shrugging the material off your shoulders and exposing your expensive lingerie set. He grips your hips, your ass - his touch hungry before pressing his pelvis closer to your frame so you can feel his aching member beneath his shorts.
You squeak into another kiss when he swiftly picks you up from the back of your thighs and carries you across the living room.
He places you onto his sofa like you’re made of porcelain, keeping you on the edge as he kneels to the ground, his knees sinking into the rug. Two hands find your inner thighs which he pushes apart to reveal the pretty triangle fabric covering your sweet cunt. He kisses your clit over the material. Once, twice, three times…until you’re sighing into the pillow behind you. His tongue drags up, pressing your clothing against your sex, one hand drawing upward to find yours which he holds lovingly. His index and middle finger hook underneath your underwear, and he tugs it aside to reveal your slick coated pussy.
He kisses your clit again, leaving a path down your damp lips which only makes you moan angelically.
“This is why I’d never get bored kissing you,” he coos, “You sound like heaven whenever I do...”
Your only response is a vowel, your hand holding onto Suguru’s for dear life as he returns to eat out with such devotion it almost brings tears to your eyes. You pant softly, his wet tongue making you weep between your legs and he gathers your essence and swallows it to parch his craving. You whine feeling the snap of your underwear pinch into your skin when Suguru lets go of the material to mold his palm over the slope of your pelvis. His thumb strokes the back of your hand, his tongue sinking between your wet folds, lips suckling on the petals of your cunt.
Your hips arch off the sofa, desperate for friction, but Suguru pins you firmly back down.
“Easy, easy…” he appeases, “don’t cum just yet. Hold off f’me, just for a little bit…”
He’s never asked because there was never a reason to. For the most part, he was always there to service you. Allowed you to use his body to get you off as many times as you so desired.
Your voice breaks, “okay,” you answer, drawing out a long exhale when he dives back in.
The hand on your pelvis climbs up the steps of your ribs, reaching for band of your bra right at the middle. He curls his finger over the boning, and tugs the material allowing your breasts to spill free. He finds the bud of your nipple and tweaks it between his finger, pinching and pulling the aching nub until your writhing beneath him.
He slurps and sucks, while you moan and whimper, forcing yourself to hold off for as much as your can but you find that it’s far harder to do when your lower belly quakes as it sits on the brink of release.
“Suguru, Suguru…” you beg, reaching your free hand to your breast and clenching over his fingers. “Suguru, I can’t-m’gonna cum if you don’t stop…”
He groans against your cunt, pulling away from your pulsing core and letting go of your hand to wipe the dampness off his chin.
He licks his lips, drunk off lust and of how you taste.
He keeps his body upright, drags your legs to secure them around his waist as he straightens your back. His hands unhook your bra from behind, the scent of you strong on his lips as he leans up for a kiss. Your hands fall to his shoulders, your belly fluttering as your sex begs for more stimulation.
Suguru loosens the bra, allowing it to fall to your elbows before kneading your breasts - his thumb swipes back and forth over your nipples. He devours your cry, wolfs down every panting breath as he moans into the kiss. Your hands slip underneath his shirt, taking in the lines of strong abdomen.
“Take if off,” you plead between breaths, “Take it off, please…”
Suguru listens, breaking apart from the kiss to toss his shirt to the side while you slip off your bra. Your lover’s hand finds your waist, his fingers pinching into the soft flesh. He leans forward to kiss the side of your neck, making a path down the curve and across the field of your décolletage.
“You’re gorgeous,” he murmurs into your breast, his lips snagging your nipple as his tongue rolls over the bud.
Your fingers curl around the back of his head, loosening his bun as you untie the knot. His hair falls like waterfall, the strands tickling your bare skin. Suguru’s hand slips between your legs, his middle and forefinger meeting your clit. You hiss at the contact, sinking your teeth between your bottom lip when Suguru sucks on your breast while simultaneously drawing circles on the bundle of nerves between your legs.
Your breath grows heavier, your hips bucking into him from the sensation of his touch.
“Feels good,” you mumble, “feels so good with you…”
He shivers, relieving your breast as his lips search for your own.
He adds more pressure between your legs, increasing the speed while your tongues dance. When your thighs noticeably quiver he slows down, pinching your clit between his fingers as he softly pecks your cheek.
“The condoms are in my room…”
Your sharp nails scratch the back of his neck lightly, “I have one in my purse.”
Suguru nods feverishly, reaching back to the coffee table and rummaging through your purse. He picks out the shiny wrapper, and stands up to take off his shorts.
“Wait, can I?” You request, gazing up at him with glittering eyes.
Suguru swallows hard, and nods his head.
Your eyes dilate rolling his shorts down, focusing on the tent in the fabric and watching his cock spring free and lightly smack his lower belly. Suguru brings the condom to his lips and rips it open with his teeth, but his eyes flutter when your perfectly manicured hands glide up the length of his shaft.
You trace the prominent vein, your thumb swiping over the pre-cum beading over the angry tip. You lick your lips, leaning closer to kiss the base and listening to Suguru sigh.
You’ve only given him a blow job once before, and that was because you asked if you could. Suguru sets no expectations for himself when it comes to work, but that doesn’t mean that you haven’t fantasized about giving him head countless times.
You wrap your fingers around his length and stroke mildly, your lips fanning over his cock before reaching the tip.
“Sweetheart, don’t-” Suguru murmurs in an attempt to stop you, but you’re already enclosing your lips around the head and pressing your tongue over the slit.
His head falls back as you suck, a curse leaving him.
You move slowly at first, dragging your tongue back and forth as you stroke the base. Sukuna was far rougher with you when you went down on him, but Suguru is allowing you to take him at your own pace. Inch by inch, until you were bobbing your head back and forth, strings of saliva webbing off his cock and sticking your lips.
He thrusts once, not rough enough to hurt but the jerk catches you by surprise.
You carefully release him, mindlessly wiping your bottom lip and the sight makes his cock twitch.
Suguru pulls the condom out, and rolls it over his shaft.
He settles onto the empty seta by your side, and you crawl over the expanse of his gorgeous, chiseled body to kiss him once again.
His circles his fingers around his cock, his other hand guiding your hip as he aligns the tip to your entrance. Your nail nicks his pec when he pushes against the hole, your mouth circling over his own as you lower down his shaft.
He fills you up so, so good. Makes your body vibrate with unshakeable desire.
He groans until he bottoms out , the hand on your hip dipping down from your pubis to your lower belly like he’s trying to outline how deep he actually is before returning it back in place and securing his other hand on the opposite hip.
Your breasts flatten against his chest, your hands holding on to his strong shoulders for support as you roll our hips.
Suguru works in tandem with your rhythm to fuck you passionately.
His lips find yours once again for a final kiss, before the two of you get caught up in the moment when he swiftly picks up the pace.
His hips arch violently, while yours sink - your bodies moving silk.
“Unghh, oh god, yes-yes-yes~” you moan.
Suguru’s grip almost feels painful, you know for a fact that he’ll be marking your hips with a few bruises. “Gonna cum-” he rasps, “s-shit, I’m fucking close-fucking close-”
Your pussy tightens, practically holds his dick in a death grip that makes release a broken moan. His cock contracts upon his release, the sensation bringing you to the edge of yours as the muscles in your lower belly and inner thighs spasm around him. You leave crescents on his skin, your bodies shaking as you both take a second to breathe coming down from your climax.
You collapse into him, his arms circling behind you, with his racing heart pulsing into your own. He moves so you’re laying side by side, your body sandwiched between him and the couch since he takes up most of the room. You rest your cheek against his shoulder, feeling him grow soft inside you.
Your stuttering breath finally finds a resting poin when he brings your hand and holds it against his heart.
“Where do we go from here?” You whisper with a kiss to his neck.
“Whatever you decide, we’ll figure out.” Suguru answers sincerely.
“I can’t marry Naoya,” you admit out loud, shocked for actually saying it for the very first time. “And I can't share you with anyone else - it already kills me having to do so.”
Suguru looks down at you, a reassuring smile resting on his lips. “There won’t be anyone else.”
“I can't just...leave. I can't just drop everything and walking away. It isn’t going to be easy-” you add on, “It’ll take me some time.”
“I can wait”
“It might get messy…”
“When is it ever not?”
“But we’ve never been in a relationship-” you insist, logic breaking through the barrier of your happiness. “How do we know if this will even work out properly? What if this thing between us fades?”
“I guess we’re both taking a gamble here…”
You both stare into the other’s eyes.
“Do you think it’s worth the risk?” You ask.
Suguru’s face softens but he leans forward to kiss your forehead.
“I think it’s worth a try.”
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
TWO YEARS LATER
“You running out on Naoya on your wedding night is still the hot topic.” Kento explains over the phone, “People kept bringing it up, and for whatever reason they just can't seem to get over it.”
The guilt in your stomach twists into a very small knot, over time the size of it has shrunk to a point where you not longer carry any remorse regarding your scheming behavior.
You had a plan, and the plan worked.
"Let's not forget who was there to help..." you contend, disregarding the negativity surrounding your decision.
After you and Suguru spoke, you decided to carry on the facade, agreeing to the engagement and soon after the wedding with Naoya Zen'in. All the while you and Suguru were busy planning your way to cut and run. He cashed in your unsigned checks, and you pilfered a decent amount of the wedding budget which you kept into a seperate savings account.
You played the role as obedient daughter well, and no one was the wiser.
“Besides, I maintain that it's still the best decision I ever made,” you reply, stepping out of your room and into the kitchen where you are greeted by the sound of clinking dishes.
Your eyes shift to Suguru - his hair far longer now, flowing beautifully down his back, the front layers tied into a small bun. You smell dinner in the air, and your stomach grumbles with anticipation.
Nanami doesn't reply, but you can hear that he's distracted from the television in the background.
“What are you watching?” you ask your friend.
The man simply sighs.
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t sound like nothing with that reaction. Is it Satoru’s new drama show?”
At the mention of his best friend you notice your lover glance over his shoulder, quietly tilting his head to direct you towards him. You smile his way, your feet pattering against the hardwood floor as you move closer to him. He bundles one arm around your shoulder, keeping you close while continuing to sauté the vegetables in the pan.
He kisses the top of your head.
“It’s all the rage,” you add on to your phone call, “Suguru and I plan on watching the next episode tonight.”
Kento remains quiet.
You release yourself from Suguru’s grasp, and instead hop onto the kitchen counter right next to him.
He reduces the heat and picks up the lid before covering the pan.
“I’m guessing you two haven’t-”
“No,” Kento curtly replies. “Not since that night…”
“I’m sorry”
“Don’t be,” he responds with frustration. “I screwed it up”
“You know I could just ask Sugu too reach out-”
“ Don’t,” Kento sighs regrettably. “It doesn’t matter. I heard he’s moved on”
You quirk your brow, your eyes shifting to Suguru who was back to chopping some fresh herbs.
“Oh?”
“It’s for the best I guess,” Kento reassures. “He should be happy with whoever-the-fuck he chooses.”
“You deserve happiness too, Kento.”
“You can be happy for the both of us,” he replies, gulping down a drink. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’m meeting my lawyer for dinner.”
“When are you going to visit us next?”
“Probably around November, December. I just need a few things to ease up on my end-”
You bite your bottom lip, “I look forward to it.”
“Take care, love”
“You too, Ken.”
You hang up the phone and lean your head against the cupboard as you watch Suguru rinse his hand, a trail of crimson spiraling down the faucet.
“I cut my finger”
You pick up a clean towel by your side, and gesture him towards you.
Suguru extends his thumb out, and you curl the fabric over to keep pressure on the small cut.
“You ought to be careful”
“Your legs are a distraction,”
You stare up at him playfully, and he leans down to kiss the corner of your lips.
“How’s Nanami?”
Your lover is indebted to your friend. If it wasn’t for Nanami, the two of you wouldn’t have been able to set up this comfortably. He’s the one who found you the humble two-story abode in Hokkaido, and was also the person who set up your personal bank accounts while ensuring that you would both have a safe and quick getaway on the night of your almost-wedding.
“Fine, I think-” you reply, before removing the towel to check the damage. Thankfully, it wasn't anything serious. A little deeper than a paper cut.“Licking his wounds over a broken heart, but fine.”
Suguru reaches for the drawer next to you, and pulls out the emergency band aids. You reach for the box in his hand, taking out one and removing the plaster from the back. You secure it around his cut, and Suguru holds your fingers between his.
He arches down to kiss your brow. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“You’re welcome, handsome”
“Dinner will be ready in a few if you want to set the table”
You nod your head in acknowledgement, and drop down onto the ground before proceeding with your task.
You set the place mats down, a bowl for the soup and another for the rice and cooked vegetables. Your finger traces the rim of the one in front of your seat, a tiny chip from when you accidentally dropped it in the sink while cleaning it a few weeks ago.
Fragments of these blemishes are all around you - making you almost forget that you once lived in a perfect, curated bubble. But you would take these flaws over everything else. These markings may be worn, but they are a reminder of the home you've been building.
A home that is entirely yours.
“Baby, you want a drink?” Suguru calls from the kitchen.
“Melon soda, please” you reply, placing the bowl down.
“We’re out, I’ve got to pick some up tomorrow.”
“What are you having?”
“A beer,” he chuckles, and it sends a tremor of joy between the valves of your heart.
“I’ll share yours”
Suguru pulls out the bottle, cracking the cap off as he pops it using the side of the kitchen counter to do so.
You two meet each other halfway in the space that you've been nesting in. Suguru’s eyes never leave yours when he takes the first sip, and once done he passes the chilled bottle towards you.
“Am I ever going to have you back in the kitchen helping me with dinner?”
You shake your head no, and bite at the lip of the bottle before taking a sip. “I thought we agreed I was a hazard after the raw chicken fiasco and the almost-fire debacle…”
He laughs, “no, you agreed. I said it wasn’t a big deal”
“You just said that because you love me,” you respond, pressing the bottle into his chest as he takes it from your hand.
“That goes without saying…” he answers, slinging his arm around your waist and pulling you into his frame.
You lift yourself up on your toes, and kiss his nose.
“Do you think it’s worth the risk of me attempting to cook for you again?” You whisper against his lips.
Suguru smiles, a hand cupping your cheek as he leans forward to seal his reply with a kiss.
“I think it’s worth the try”
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
tag list: @rottiens @an-ever-angry-bi @mononijikayu @brownskinnedgirll
#geto x reader#geto x you#suguru geto x reader#suguru geto x you#suguru geto x y/n#geto x y/n#geto angst#geto smut#geto fluff#suguru geto angst#suguru geto fluff#suguru geto smut#jujutsu kaisen fan fiction#suguru geto fan fiction#suguru geto fanfic
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ Paddock Princess
♥ masterlist | request rules
♥ pairing: jude bellingham x fem!black!f1driver!reader
♥ synopsis: your boyfriend jude bellingham is welcomed with open arms by the f1 community and becomes the people’s paddock’s princess
♥ smau - fc: tyla - as always none of the pictures are mine <3
♥ warnings: swearing and suggestive comments !!!
♥ a/n: never let em know your next move WAPOW jude fic.
-Jude Bellingham Replies to Fans on the Internet | Actually Me | GQ Sports-
“We know about your inspiration in football, but which athletes outside of football do you look up to—if any?” he read off a laptop screen.
“Uhm,” he scratched the bridge of his nose. “Probably Y/n L/n,” His face lit up with a smile as the camera crew giggled in the background. “She’s done quite a lot in her sport in such a short amount of time and I really admire her driving style, if i’m being honest. Yeah, I’ve been spending a lot of my time watching F1 recently, so probably her.”
He sent the reply and leaned back on the chair, “This is peak journalism.”
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by oscarpiastri, carmenmundt, judebellingham, and 1,494,027 more
yourusername i heard someone say my name?
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realmadrid you heard correctly
user1 exposing him 🙊
user2 @/user1 I'm sure she's seen the video by now
user3 I wish he said my name instead tbh
user4 I wish he would do more than just say my name
user5 @/user4 SO REAL
user6 the someone in question who said her name being the hottest madrid player
yourusername @/user6 that's debatable
judebellingham @/yourusername ???
user7 have you and jude met before? I know you spend a lot of time watching madrid 🤔
yourusername hopefully I'll see him soon !!
user10 @/yourusername that doesn't answer the question...
carlossainz55 @/yourusername I can take you to meet him under one condition
yourusername @/carlossainz55 I already told you I can't give you the Ferrari seat back 😭
carlossainz55 it was worth a shot
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, judebellingham, and 1,409,582 more
yourusername first race with you 💋
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scuderiaferrari we're happy to have you ❤️
user7 @/scuderiaferrari did... you buy her those flowers? 😭
user2 @/scuderiaferrari she wasn't talking to you lil bro
user1 I thought she was talking about a secret partner in this post but maybe I'm crazy
user3 @/user1 now I'm confused because I thought the same thing
user5 f1 core is not knowing if y/n made a romantic post about ferrari or a secret lover
scuderiaferrari who's not in love with us? we're hot, fast, and Italian 😉
yourusername @/scuderiaferrari OH 🫣
user6 😨
user8 RAW NEXT QUESTION
user9 why am I blushing
user10 we're not beating the car fucker allegations with this one 🔥🔥🥶
user11 ugh I hate admin. its like why do you post silly comments? what's your @? are you single?
-jude bellingham’s story-
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user1 those flowers look familiar…
user2 ME WHEN
user3 i actually need him so bad
user4 @/yourusername
user5 yn we all know it’s you
liked by judebellingham, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 2,059,043 more
yourusername I regret to inform you that I am not dating ferrari admin and instead with the lovely @/judebellingham
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judebellingham "regret"? 🤨
yourusername I called you lovely what more do you want
landonorris we all knew you were dating the second he said your name
user1 new lando lore drop he watches jude bellingham videos by himself
landonorris fuck I've been caught
user2 LETS FUCKING GO HARD LAUNCH
user3 oh how I love them
user4 they are the perfect couple
scuderiaferrari I forgive you
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,492,5028 more
judebellingham dw princess has arrived
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yourusername glad you're here 😘
♡ by judebellingham
user1 yes he has 👏
user2 he's so cunty
user5 he wears her jersey hello?? 🥹
yourusername one that still has the tag on it...
judebellingham @/yourusername you didn't see that 😬
user8 wheres the rest of the madrid team?
judebellingham 🤷♂️
vinjir @/user8 he didn't invite us
judebellingham @/vinjir wowww snitch 🫵
liked by erling, judbellingham, landonorris, and 502,684 more
yourusername its always great to meet a fan 🫶
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judebellingham I don't really consider myself a "fan" 🫤
yourusername idk you seemed like a pretty big fan of me last night 🫤
user1 oh!
user9 judeyn >>>
user10 god bless these two and all the pr training they ignored
user7 hes so fjdsjkskfj
user6 I need him so bad
yourusername @/user6 same
user8 I'm gonna need full time wag jude from now on
judebellingham quitting my job rn 🏃♂️💨
#𝒍𝒊𝒗'𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 ౨ৎ#football smau#footballer x y/n#football player x reader#football x reader#footballer x reader#football imagine#football imagines#football scenarios#football one shot#football social media au#jude bellingham smau#jude bellingham social media au#jude bellingham scenarios#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#real madrid x reader#real madrid scenarios#real madrid imagines#f1 x reader#f1 smau#formula one x reader#f1 x black!reader
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SPOILERS!!!
I will say that Capitano rotting is questionable imo lore-wise considering that Pierro is a literal khaenrian mage who looks mostly normal and is probably older, and that Dottore does what he does being a doctor and all, that literally no one was able to prevent the physical degradation of the strongest harbinger. But all of it did give me an idea a kind of reverse Eros and Psyche myth.
Now that we know Capitano is a decaying beneath his armor imagine that you are a prodigious healer, and whether the fatui has kidnapped you to help him, or a member the house of the hearth who Arlecchino offers to tend to him, you become his dedicated healer who he falls in love with. You tend to him daily and in your healing sessions you've managed to slow and even regenerate some of his cells. You talk endlessly with each other as you treat him, learning all about his past. You don't even flinch when he exposes parts of necrotic tissue. From the first session you smile at him as if he is any other man, not a rotting abomination. Still he refuses to show you his face, but he checks the incredibly slow progress of his regeneration daily, waiting for the day when he can reveal himself to you. It's silly he thinks, he has no fears, but the thought of your rejection terrifies him.
You have been his diligent nurse for years, and there has always been an attraction on your end, but Capitano keeps a boundary up when you try to become closer to him. Physically at least, emotionally he's shared all, and you are his most trusted confidant. He's become so comfortable with you that he'll even let you tend to him in his sleep.
However, as your love for Capitano grows you can't resist the urge to unmask him during one of your night sessions. You can't really figure out how to get the mask off so instead, you carefully bring a nearby candle close to his face to illuminate the near magic darkness that enshrouds his features.
The first thought was that it wasn't that bad. The skin on his face his is blackened with corruption, warping the muscle tissue. But the 'rot' that you had seen on his body was far more advanced in its decay when you had started treatment.
You admire the features that remain, unfazed by the molted and peeling flesh. You become so lost in seeing him, that you don't notice as a drip of wax falls onto his gaunt cheek bone.
Capitano startles awake. It takes him only a second to realize what you'd done, he bats the candle out of your hand now leaving the tent in total darkness.
"How could you!?" He growls, ashamed. He rises to his feet and in his clambering his mask falls off entirely.
Calmly, you place your hands on his chest, you feel his heart beating wildly under you palm while the other snakes up to his jaw. Wordlessly you rise on your toes and place a chaste his on his lips.
You can't see the confusion on his face, but you smile regardless. Only saying, "I've waited so long to do that."
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hello ive always loved your fics since nijien days and now more into love and deepspace, specifically sylus (the pipeline is universal, i’m afraid) so now, i beg for stalker sylus who is obsessed with everything you do, will fuck you in an alleyway please, cnc and mindbreak, thank you 🙏🏻
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"window watching."
pairings: sylus x m!reader
summary: sylus can only take so much of your teasing before he breaks. unfortunately for you, his methods aren't so nice.
tw: NONCON, stalking, obsessive behavior, size diff., frottage, sph (if you squint), praise. implied kidnapping, handjobs, choking, coercion, dacryphilia etc.
notes: see how i didnt add stalker to the front of his name? i genuinely think he would stalk the shit out of you and it doesnt need to be an au, lol.
in all seriousness, i hope you enjoy it. i'm getting back into the swing of things... probably a bit ooc and doesnt follow the game lore (too much, that is).
im uploading this while sick, so i apologize for any mispellings/mistakes/etc.
please let me know what you think!
stalker sylus who cannot, at first much to his dismay, keep his eyes off of you.
everywhere you go, every time you think you have a sliver of privacy: he's always watching. whether its mephisto or one of the twins, he needs to know what you're doing at all times. taking note of what stores you visit, what time you usually come home, who you talk to. it becomes an urge he cant quite satisfy.
at first, he only watched out of boredom. yea sure, he needed you alive, so keeping note of your location was just another one of his duties. someone as naive and reckless as yourself was bound to get into trouble.
but gradually it gets worse.
"where are you off to now, kitten?" mumbling to himself, the man swipes across his phone screen, watching surveillance cameras with a bated breath as you walked home. your figure was a bit blurry, but that didn’t stop sylus as he watched intently. it was nothing truly unusual. around this time, you'd be already cozied up in bed, but it seems like work made you stay overtime tonight. "idiots.." sylus's brow furrowed slightly at the thought of you overworking yourself.
before you, he didn't care much for romance. friendship, trivial things: he thought those were what made a person weak.
but now?
every little thing you do drives him mad. the way you carefully fold your clothes after finishing your laundry to make sure your room stays clean. how you always greet the cashier at the nearby convenience store with a smile, thanking them for bagging your items. how long you take a shower for, which coffee shop is your favorite, even down to the type of shampoo and conditioner you use daily: sylus had it all down to a science. he practically knew everything about you.
even then, a question still rang through his mind. why would you waste your time with all of these other men?
he knew about that strange doctor who's gaze lingered on yours a little too long for his liking. sylus felt his fist clench when he would watch you talk to that painter too, jaw clenching in annoyance when he would see you walk home or to work with that blonde boy.
he shook his head, trying to snap out of his own thoughts. this wasn't about them. right now, this was about you.
it was another evening with you winding down after a long day of work. a tired sigh leaves your lips, and sylus’s cock throbs watching you undress as you slowly slip off your shirt. was it normal to be staring at another man like this? watching from cameras could only do so much, so this time, the villain found himself on a roof adjacent to your window. thankfully, you were too stupid a majority of the time to close the blinds, so he had a nice view of your nightly routine.
...which was mostly boring to watch, if he's being honest. you walked around shirtless for a moment, putting away your work gear and leaving your shoes by the door. it was a whole lot of nothing for a good 15 minutes, leaving sylus to rethink his choices for the night.
sitting on the cold bricks of the adjacent roof, he couldn't help feeling just a tinge of shame. "how pathetic, watching afar like some sort of pervert. i should just go in there and.." he scoffed, eyes narrowing in what seemed to be.. annoyance? the leader of onychinus hated chasing his prey like some sort of weakling. he was better than this. he deserved to have you in his arms, no matter what you thought or said.
however, his words abruptly came to a stop when your fingers trailed to the hem of your pants.
dark red eyes stared deeply at your hands as they softly pushed at the fabric of your boxers. languid fingertips played with the fabric, yawning as your thumbs hooked against the waistband and began to pull. further and further, pulling ever so slightly to show off a bit of your happy trail, the base of your cock threatening to peek for unwanted visitors to gawk at. sylus could feel himself leaning closer, the distance between the roof and your window suffocating as more of your skin was exposed.
almost, that is, before an imaginary light bulb in your head went off and you quickly took your hands out of your pants. "shit, i forgot to pick up dinner on my way home. i should do that now before i go to bed," you thought to yourself, whisking away from the window and grabbing a plain shirt to throw on. reaching for your keys and wallet, you opened the door and left your apartment as usual, unbeknownst of the dangerous man watching your every step.
sylus's own hands were nearly trembling. the ache and tent in his pants didn't help either, feverishly getting up and following you as you made your way into linkon city. he didn't have to ask mephisto or the twins to follow you - thankfully, the rooftops gave sylus a clear view of the streets below, and he could spot you out from anywhere. the man didnt bother to speed up either, knowing which store you were going to (you were very predictable, after all).
he also knew that there's a convenient dark alleyway just before you would turn the corner to go to the establishment. unfortunately, this vital piece of information slipped your mind, leaving you completely unaware and unguarded as rough hands yanked you into the darkness.
"mmph-!" you tried to scream, the hand covering your mouth muffling your pleas. even though you worked out and were pretty fit because of your hunter lifestyle, your strength was nothing compared to the man hovering above you, wriggling to no avail.
"shh, kitten. you wouldn't want anyone to hear us, would you?" the older man mocked, relishing in the fear and befuddlement in your eyes. it took a second for you to process that the other man was none other than sylus himself, smirking as you squirmed in his grasp. red eyes bore into yours, filing you with fear that rose every second. why did he have you pinned in some dirty alleyway like a thief? surely it wasn't money he was after.
the leader moved his hand from his mouth to your neck, holding you in place as you gasped for air. "s-sylus? what are you doing here?!" crying out, your body couldn't struggle anymore, so you opted for your hands gripping his wrist and trying to pull it off of your neck. "what does it look like im doing?" he scoffed, leaning in close to your ear.
"im here to see you, of course."
brow furrowing, you looked at him in confusion as you took in your surroundings. "a dark, dingy alleyway?" you thought aloud, looking him up and down. sylus fixed his posture as he looked down at you, your size difference becoming more obvious by the second. "oh, did you want me to come and knock on your door instead? i apologize, sweetie. you should've told me you wanted the big bad leader of onychinus inside your little headquarters." his grin infuriated you as you rolled your eyes.
before you could think of a clever rebuttal, sylus wedged his knee in between your legs, parting them open as his thigh pressed against your crotch. "i-i dont.." you muttered, voice raising in pitch to pair with your nervousness as he kissed your neck. he didn't bother answering your silly questions, simply smiling before biting into your shoulder. you hissed in pain, trying to push him off even more than before.
"you don't what, love?" his voice isn't serious at all for the situation you're in. cold skilled hands fiddled with your zipper, freezing for just a moment before gripping onto your girth. the sensation made you cry out again, unable to hide your face from your attacker, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. sylus coo'ed at your feeble attempts to push him away, unbuttoning and pulling out his own cock to hold against yours.
looking down, the size comparison of his cock against yours made your face feel warm. ""aww, look at you sweetie. you're all bark but no bite." the older man laughed again, fingertip circling the head of your cock as he teased you. you loathed the way you shuddered at his snide remarks, the sound of the bustling city just feet away making you panic again.
you raised your voice, "sylus, this isn't funny anymore, seriously! cut it out!".
the wordless tension spoke volumes.
sylus didn't laugh or comment on your refusal. instead, his grip on your neck only grew tighter, choking you against the wall as his other hand started to make a fist around both of your cocks. "do you see me laughing?" his tone was firm as he squeezed harder on your throat. you couldn't say anything back, choking out a sob as he slowly began to jerk you both off together, a low moan slipping from his lips.
"ive wanted this for so long, kitten. so fucking long." muttering, he continued to grind his hips against yours, the unwanted pleasure making your head spin. "i've had enough watching from afar. i think its finally time i get what i want, right?" he kissed the tip of your ear, toying with the cartilage between his teeth.
unable to believe what was happening, you could only cry out more strings of "please", "stop", "no": all music to sylus's ears. "you don't really want me to stop, right? look at how much your cock is leaking onto mine.." he chuckled lowly again, grabbing the back of your neck to force your gaze downwards.
he wasn't wrong, either - dribbling precum and throbbing the entire session, your dick looked just as eager as sylus's, twitching with every flick of his wrist. it wasn't your fault that sylus was way more experienced compared to you. whining, you shook your head again, trying to close your eyes shut so you wouldn't remember any of this. the outside world was so dangerously close, and anyone could catch you two at any moment. how disgraceful it would be: a well known hunter being caught rubbing cocks with the renowned leader of onychinus. you frowned at the thought, whimpering as sylus went back to kissing your bruised neck.
"you could come with me, yknow. back to the n109 zone, i'd take such good care of you." sylus whispered as he felt himself inch closer to his own release, hand pumping furiously between you two. hot tears streamed down your cheeks, your brain awry with the overwhelming sensations of pleasure and pain. "you could have anything you wanted. you wouldn't have to work another day in your life." he groaned, balls tightening at the thought of his own perverse fantasy, imagining you kept in his bedroom all day just for him to use.
"d-don't, sylus please -" you hiccuped, forehead resting on sylus shoulder as he toyed with you. "im gonna cum," sobbing as you held onto his biceps, not wanting to sink any further against the dirty alleyway wall. with so much teasing and dirty whispers from the other, you couldn't think straight, practically panting in sylus's ear as his hands jerked you both off closer and closer.
growling, sylus slotted his lips against yours, a surprisingly gentle kiss before muttering under his breath. "be a good boy and cum for me then," using your fluids as lube, the squelch of his tight fist jerking off your cock made you spill. moaning loudly, your nails dug into his arm as thick ropes of semen poured out, mixing with his load that came seconds after.
silence filled the space between both of you as you tried to catch your breath. your eyelids felt heavy, leaning onto sylus for full support as he rubbed your back. you couldn't quite process what just happened, brain feeling much too fuzzy for any thinking right now.
perhaps it was a mix of exhaustion from your normal workday and your encounter that made you pass out on the older man's shoulder. nonetheless, he was not going to let this opportunity go to waste. pressing onto the comms headpiece in his ear, sylus spoke as quietly as he could not to disturb you.
"luke, kieran, bring one of the cars to my location. i have a little kitten coming home with me today."
#sylus x male reader#sylus x reader#sylus x you#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace x male reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x m!reader#sylus x m!reader#male reader#m!reader#mlm blog#male reader blog#my fics..#x male reader#lads sylus#lads x reader#lads x male reader
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✑ 𝓉𝓎𝓅𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒷𝑜𝓎𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝜗𝜚 𝑔𝑒𝑜
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Geo has officially become my second favorite character in Tkatb. As an asexual person writing about another asexual-coded character, I have to say—he makes me feel seen. It’s like he literally can’t take his eyes off me (and let’s face it, with Geo, that’s more intense than romantic).
𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔: 18+ NO KIDS (Adults Only) This content contains mature themes unsuitable for children. Please respect the creator's intentions.
But let’s be serious: I love him platonically. Sorry Brittany.
So, of course, I’ll share my headcanons about Geo, some shared by other fans, and even a few from the game’s lore. And no, before you ask, I won’t be writing about Sol in this “Type of Boyfriend” trope. He’s the obvious main choice in the game, and countless talented writers have already explored that lane.
Geo, however? His quiet, unsettling stares deserve its moment in the spotlight.
Okay, so let’s talk about Geo as a boyfriend. First of all, congratulations on making that happen. Like, seriously, how did you pull it off?
Because let’s be real, Geo is not the type to just open his heart to anyone. This man’s walls are practically made of steel, and I’m sure it took some serious patience, persistence, and probably some sorcery to get him to even consider letting you in.
But hey, you did it. So now you’ve got yourself the most stoic, broody, and incredibly hot boyfriend. So let’s break it down!
✑ The Silent Observer
Like said, getting close to Geo? Oh man, that was like trying to break into a vault without the code. And let’s be honest, at first, you probably weren’t even trying to get to him—he just happened to be standing there while you were hanging out with Crowe. But of course, Geo being Geo, he’d hit you with those cold, piercing stares that made you question every single life choice.
And don’t even get me started on his bluntness. He’s the definition of the strong, silent type. He only speaks when he thinks something needs to be said, which means you’re never getting any filler or small talk from him. It’s not that he’s rude—he just values words and doesn’t see the point in wasting them.
He’d just say it. Straight up. No filter.
However, he does talk—pretty much one sentence though, it’s worth listening to because you’ll quickly realize how sharp he is. Geo’s intelligence and observant nature are on another level too…
The kind of observant where he notices *everything*. He’s like that one friend who knows all the drama without ever saying a word. While Brittany would spill the tea loudly and proudly, Geo keeps it all locked away in that steel trap of a brain. He’s always watching, analyzing, and probably always two steps ahead. It’s part of what makes him such a great strategist but also why he’s so cautious about trusting anyone.
So, instead of running for the hills like most people would, you stayed. And that’s probably what made him start noticing you. You didn’t back off, didn’t try to change him, just kind of… stuck around.
Geo doesn’t do well with people who push or pry, so the fact that you respected his space but still showed up? Yeah, that got to him. Even if he’d never admit it out loud.
What’s wild is that he notices everything. Stuff you didn’t even realize about yourself? Yeah, he’s clocked it already. He’s the kind of guy who remembers your favorite drink, the way you twirl your hair when you’re stressed, or even the exact date you mentioned something offhand weeks ago. It’s almost unsettling how much he takes in, but it’s also one of the ways he shows how much he cares.
He’s not the type to constantly shower you with compliments or grand gestures, but his quiet, steady presence speaks volumes. Geo’s the guy who will fix something for you before you even realize it’s broken or offer exactly what you need without you having to ask.
And when he does open up or say something heartfelt? You know it’s real because he doesn’t just say things lightly.
✑ Low-key Romantic
Okay, let’s get real—Geo is not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. If anything, he’s probably got it locked up in a box somewhere with a “Do Not Disturb” sign slapped on it. But here’s the thing: when Geo cares, he cares. Like, no half-measures.
Once he lets someone in—which is a feat on its own—you have his full, unwavering loyalty. And let’s be honest, why would Geo want anyone else? He’s not the type to hop from person to person—when he chooses you, he chooses you.
I’m pulling his asexual card here because it just fits. Geo isn’t about flashy romance or grand declarations. For him, love isn’t in the words or PDA—mind you he HATES PDA—it’s in the quiet, consistent ways he shows up for you. He wouldn’t just call you his partner; he’d treat you like you’re the most important person in his life, even if he doesn’t say it outright.
And the way he shows his affection? It’s all in the details. Geo is hyper-observant—he probably knows you better than you know yourself.
Again, he’ll pick up on the smallest things, like how you take your coffee or tea, the way your eyes light up when you’re excited, or how you’re always talking about that one book or game you’re obsessed with. And he’ll use that information to make your day in ways that feel effortless.
Expect random, thoughtful surprises. Maybe your favorite snacks just happen to appear on your desk when you’re having a rough day, or you’ll find tickets to that movie you’ve been dying to see in your bag without him saying a word. He’s not going to make a big deal about it either—he’ll just shrug it off like it’s no big deal, but deep down, he’s paying attention to every detail that makes you you.
Geo’s love language is subtle, sure, but it’s also steady and reliable.
You won’t always see it coming, but you’ll feel it in the way he’s always quietly there for you, no matter what.
✑ Protective But Not Overbearing
Oh, Geo’s hella protective—like, protective to the point where you know he’s got your back no matter what. But don’t think for a second he’s the clingy or overbearing type. Nah, that’s not his style.
He’s more of a silent sentinel kind of guy, keeping a close eye on everything while letting you do your thing. He trusts you to handle yourself, and honestly? That trust speaks volumes. He knows you’re capable, and he’s not about to baby you or hover like some overprotective shadow.
But let’s get one thing straight—if someone crosses the line with you? Game over. Geo might seem calm and composed most of the time, but when it comes to defending you, that sharp tongue of his comes out swinging.
And let’s not forget the fact that he’s an archer. I’m just saying, if someone pushes too far, they’d better pray they’re not anywhere near a target. He wouldn’t need to say much—one cold glare, one well-aimed shot at a bullseye, and everyone around would get the message.
What’s even better is that Geo doesn’t make a scene about it. He’s not the type to start unnecessary drama or puff up his chest to prove something. He’ll shut down any nonsense with a few carefully chosen words or, if it comes to it, an intimidating presence that leaves no room for argument.
He’s protective, yeah, but it’s in this quiet, no-nonsense way that just makes you feel safe without feeling suffocated.
And honestly? That balance is rare. He’s like your personal bodyguard without the need for the over-the-top theatrics. It’s not about control—it’s about making sure you know you’re valued and looked out for.
And for Geo, that’s everything.
✑ A Hidden Heart
Geo’s not the type to be up in your face 24/7. Nah, for him, it’s all about quality over quantity. He’s perfectly fine with spending an hour sitting next to you in total silence, maybe reading or just walking side by side.
You don’t even have to talk—he’s not big on words anyway. It’s the connection that matters to him, not the setting or how much time you spend together.
To Geo, a quiet moment shared between just the two of you means more than any loud party or over-the-top date night ever could.
Now, let’s talk about Geo’s bluntness. We all know he’s sharp-tongued, unfiltered, and way too honest for his own good. It’s kind of his thing. But when it comes to you? That edge softens, and he tries—tries being the keyword here—to rein it in. He’s still going to tell you exactly what he thinks because, let’s be real, that’s just who he is.
But with you, he’ll make the effort to phrase things more gently. You’re one of the very few people who gets that version of him, and let’s be honest, that’s kind of special. You get to see the side of him that’s not all sharp remarks and icy glares, the side that actually cares.
And while Geo might seem like this stoic, broody guy who doesn’t let anything faze him, he’s secretly a total softie when it comes to you. Again, he’s not going to smother you with hugs or drown you in words of comfort when you’re upset—that’s not his style. He’s not like Crowe T-T.
But he’ll be there.
Sitting beside you when you’re crying, quietly handing you tissues, letting you lean on his shoulder without a word. He listens, like really listens, and you can feel his presence grounding you even when he doesn’t say much.
It’s not that Geo doesn’t care—he just shows it in his own way. A quiet walk, a softened tone, a steady shoulder to lean on. With Geo, love isn’t loud or flashy. It’s steady, subtle, and completely genuine.
✑ Tailored to You
Geo and the five love languages? Well… Spoiler alert: this man is low-key okay at all of them, even if he’ll never admit it.
— Words of Affirmation?
So… Compliments? Yeah, don’t hold your breath. He’s not going to gush about how you’re the most incredible person on the planet.
But when he does say something nice? Oh, it means something. If Geo tells you, “That was impressive,” just know he’s basically screaming, “I’m so proud of you” on the inside. And if you ever compliment him? Expect a half-hearted shrug and a muttered, “I guess,” but deep down, you know he’s preening like a cat that just caught a mouse.
— Acts of Service?
This is where Geo shines. He’s not going to say, “I love you” outright, but he’ll carry your bag, or make sure you’re eating when you’ve had a rough day.
Dating Geo means having someone who sees you, even when you think no one else does. He’s a protector, a confidant, and someone who keeps things real—all wrapped up in a broody, mysterious package.
Need something heavy moved? Done. Can’t open a jar? No problem. He’s like a one-man life support system, quietly taking care of you while pretending it’s no big deal.
— Receiving Gifts?
Geo doesn’t do flashy gifts, but when he gives you something? It’s weirdly specific and thoughtful. Like, you’ll casually mention liking a certain anything once, and boom—it’s sitting in front of your door the next day. He’ll pretend it’s not a big deal, though. “Oh, I just saw it at the store,” he’ll say, even though you know he went out of his way to get it.
— Quality Time?
This one is Geo’s bread and butter. He’s all about meaningful moments. Forget big group hangouts or extravagant plans—he’d rather spend a quiet evening with you, just existing in the same space. You could be doing something as mundane as grocery shopping, and he’d still find a way to make it feel special. And if you’re both just sitting in silence, reading or scrolling on your phones? That’s peak romance for him.
— Physical Touch?
All right, let’s be real—Geo isn’t big on touchy-feely stuff. He’s the type to freeze up if someone hugs him unexpectedly. But with you? He warms up to it. He’s still awkward as hell at first, but over time, he’ll start initiating small touches—a hand on your shoulder, brushing hair out of your face, or even holding your hand when no one’s looking. And if you hug him? He’ll grumble about it, but he secretly loves it.
In conclusion? Geo’s love language is basically Geo Language—quiet, understated, and 100% tailored to you. He’s not going to shout his feelings from the rooftops, but if you pay attention, his actions scream, “You’re my person, and I’m not letting you go.”
✑ Tailored to Him
So you wanna know Geo’s love languages? As unique as he is and if we had to rank them, here’s the holy trinity that makes this stoic archer tick:
Geo is an independent guy, but even the most self-sufficient people need someone who understands them. He craves someone who respects his need for space but knows when to step in with the right kind of support.
— Acts of Service (His #1, obviously)
Geo isn’t the type to ask for help—he’s too independent for that. But when you step in and do something thoughtful for him without being asked?
That’s how you win this man over.
He’s got this quiet appreciation for when people notice the little things, like brewing him tea when he’s had a rough day or cleaning up his gear after practice. Bonus points if you surprise him with something related to his hobbies, like a rare Japanese opera recording or a new pot for one of his plants. Acts of service show him that you’re paying attention, and trust me, he notices.
— Quality Time
Geo doesn’t want loud, over-the-top outings or big social gatherings. In fact, the less noise and chaos, the better. What he really craves is quiet, intentional moments with someone who just gets him.
Sitting together in a cozy home, tending to his potted plants, or watching the intricate art of shadow puppetry—these are the things that speak to his soul. Geo thrives in these quiet spaces where he can relax, reflect, and enjoy meaningful companionship.
Just don’t interrupt if he’s hyper-focused on something. He’ll side-eye you into another dimension.
— Receiving Gifts
Okay, hear me out—Geo hates getting gifts, right? I mean, he literally burned the random Valentine’s Day presents people gave him that one time. Absolute menace behavior, but honestly? It’s kind of funny in a this-man-does-not-care way. But here’s the twist: Geo’s not against all gifts. He’s just very particular.
See, he doesn’t want over-the-top, flashy stuff. No giant teddy bears, love letters, heart-shaped balloons, or anything that screams “cliché.” If you even think about giving him something generic, he’ll give you that deadpan look that could shrivel your soul. However, thoughtful, personalized gifts?
That’s a whole different story.
Picture this: you show up with a sleek, modern pot for one of his beloved plants, or maybe a rare variety of seeds that he hasn’t gotten his hands on yet. Geo would never say it out loud, but inside? He’s lowkey impressed. Or let’s say you score him tickets to a Japanese opera—something you know he’d appreciate but would never bother getting for himself. Now, that would leave him quietly staring at you like, “…You actually get me.”
And don’t even get me started on shadow puppetry. If you found a book about advanced techniques or a vintage lamp to use for creating the perfect shadows? You’d probably see the faintest flicker of a smile—like, barely there, but it counts.
With Geo, it’s not about spending a ton of money or going big. It’s about showing that you know him—that you’ve paid attention to his quirks, his hobbies, and the things that make him tick. When the gift reflects his personality and interests?
That’s when you see the softer side of him, the part of him that’s secretly thinking, “How did I end up with someone like this?”
And yeah, he might not say that, because Geo and verbal affection are basically strangers. But the way he takes care of that plant pot or treasures that opera ticket?
That’ll tell you everything you need to know.
✑ Cultural Depth
Geo’s all about his Japanese roots, but he doesn’t go around making a big deal about it. It’s in the small things—the quiet traditions he carries, the way he’ll casually drop some next-level cultural knowledge.
— Sharing His World (Quietly)
Geo isn’t the type to throw you into the deep end of his culture, but if you hang around him long enough, he’ll start to let you in. It’s like a slow reveal in a really good book—you don’t even realize you’re getting hooked until you’re deep into it.
He’ll start small, teaching you a word or two in Japanese. Nothing too complicated at first—basic phrases like arigatou or ohayou. God writing this is killing me…
But if you’re patient (and don’t butcher the pronunciation), he might hit you with the poetic, meaningful stuff. Like, “The moon tonight reminds me of home,” kind of poetic.
And food? Oh, he’s low-key a food snob, but in the best way. If he takes you out for sushi, don’t embarrass him by drowning it in soy sauce, okay? He might roll his eyes, but deep down, he’ll think you’re a lost cause.
Bonus points if you ask him to show you how to make something traditional, though. Watching him calmly explain how to roll onigiri while being so exact about it? Weirdly cute.
— Secret Nerd Side
Geo doesn’t advertise it, but he has a soft spot for traditional Japanese arts. Shadow puppetry? Yeah, that’s a thing he knows. He won’t just show you for fun, though—you’ll have to ask and even then, it’s going to be, like, the most casual display ever. He’ll make a crane with his hands in the middle of a quiet moment, the shadow falling perfectly on the wall, and act like it’s no big deal.
Meanwhile, you’re sitting there, wondering if he’s secretly an 80-year-old trapped in a hot college guy’s body.
Oh, and don’t even get him started on Japanese opera. It’s his go-to when he needs to vibe or think. You might catch him with his headphones in, looking all stoic, and he’s probably listening to something hauntingly beautiful and dramatic. But good luck getting him to admit it.
✑ Such Spa Days
If there’s one thing you should know about Geo, it’s that he takes self-care very seriously. This man isn’t just about keeping clean—he’s practically the ambassador of flawless skin. His routine is a whole event, and don’t even think about interrupting it unless you want to be met with one of his signature cold stares.
Geo’s all about precision, from his perfectly tied low ponytail to his smooth, glowing complexion that looks like it came straight out of a skincare ad. He’s the guy who has a shelf full of serums, toners, face masks, and creams, all neatly organized by purpose and ingredient list. Oh, and he definitely uses products with names you can’t pronounce but that sounds expensive. He’s from the rich side of the society anyway…
Sunday nights? They’re sacred. You’ll find Geo in full spa mode, complete with a fluffy towel draped over his shoulders and maybe even some calming Japanese opera music playing softly in the background. He’ll light a candle (something subtle, probably sandalwood or green tea) and go through his routine like it’s a religious ceremony. Cleansing, exfoliating, masking—he’s got it all down to a science.
And don’t get him started on baths. Geo’s baths are an experience. He’ll fill the tub with just the right temperature water, toss in some herbal bath salts or a soothing bath bomb, and relax like he’s starring in a luxurious retreat commercial. He even has a book propped up nearby or maybe a cup of tea to complete the vibe.
The best part? Geo’s love for spa days isn’t just about himself—it’s an extension of his personality. He values control and discipline, and his skincare routine is a reflection of that. Every step, every product, is carefully chosen because it’s his way of staying grounded in a chaotic world.
Now, if you’re lucky enough to be part of his life, he might invite you into his sacred self-care space. Don’t expect anything over the top, though. Geo’s not going to gush about it, but he’ll casually hand you a face mask or suggest a product he thinks you’ll like. It’s his way of saying, “I care,” without actually saying it.
But be warned—if you touch his stuff without asking, he’ll probably give you a look that could freeze fire. He’s protective of his skincare collection, and for good reason. You’ll never forget the day you used his serum without permission and had to endure a five-minute lecture about “proper application techniques” while he looked genuinely offended.
Now, let’s get one thing straight: Geo’s devotion to skincare doesn’t just stop with himself. Oh no, if you’re doing it wrong, he will notice—and he will step in.
Say you’re casually applying his skincare collection one day, just slapping it on like it’s sunscreen at the beach. Geo, from across the room, will stop dead in his tracks, narrow his aquamarine eyes, and calmly say, “What are you doing?” in a tone that sends shivers down your spine. Before you can even protest, he’s already approaching with that look—the one that says, “I didn’t want to get involved, but you’ve left me no choice.”
Geo doesn’t offer to fix your skincare routine; he takes over. He’s not the type to sugarcoat it either. “You’re wasting product,” he’ll mutter, carefully squeezing the perfect amount of serum onto his fingertips before gently patting it into your skin. “And you’re supposed to press it in, not rub it like you’re sanding wood.”
And honestly? He’s ridiculously good at it. His hands are steady, his movements precise, and for someone who doesn’t talk much, he somehow explains every step with just enough detail to make you realize how little you knew about skincare to begin with.
Geo is not one for half-measures, so don’t be surprised when he starts rearranging your entire routine. Suddenly, you’ve got a multi-step process you never asked for, complete with double cleansing, toners, serums, and a nightly mask rotation. You didn’t even know what a niacinamide serum was before, but now you have one, and you’re using it correctly, thank you very much.
The funniest part? Geo never complains about doing your skincare. He acts mildly exasperated, sure, but you catch the tiniest flicker of pride when your skin starts glowing like his.
And while he’d never admit it out loud, he secretly likes having an excuse to take care of you. It’s his way of showing he cares without all that messy emotional talk.
But if you dare to slack off? Oh, you’ll hear about it. “You didn’t put on sunscreen today, did you?” he’ll ask, his tone low and judgmental as he crosses his arms. “Don’t come crying to me when you age prematurely.” And yet, despite all the teasing, he’ll still hand you his favorite SPF because, deep down, he can’t stand the idea of you not taking care of yourself.
At the end of the day, Geo’s skincare obsession isn’t just about looking good—it’s about discipline, self-respect, and now, begrudgingly, making sure you’re glowing just as much as he is.
In the end, Geo’s love for spa days isn’t just a quirky habit—it’s part of what makes him who he is. It’s his way of maintaining balance, staying composed, and, let’s be honest, looking damn good while doing it.
✑ So Damn Competitive
Don’t let Geo’s stoic, “I’m too cool to care” vibe fool you—this man is surprisingly competitive. Like, you’d think someone who’s all about calm and control wouldn’t get riled up over a board game, right? Wrong. The moment you pull out a board game or even a deck of Uno cards, you’re witnessing a transformation. Same too…
Geo doesn’t just play to win—he plays to crush. He’s not loud about it, though. Oh no, Geo’s trash talk is subtle but devastating. “That’s an… interesting move,” he’ll say, his aquamarine eyes glinting with quiet smugness as he places his piece exactly where it’ll ruin your entire strategy. And let’s not even get started on trivia night. This man has an encyclopedic knowledge of random facts, and he’ll flex it in the most deadpan way possible.
But here’s the best part: Geo will let you win sometimes—just don’t expect him to admit it. He’ll subtly fumble a move in Jenga or conveniently “forget” the answer to a question during trivia, all while keeping that unreadable poker face. If you call him out on it? “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he’ll say, completely straight-faced, as if he didn’t just let the tower fall on purpose.
The funniest part is how petty he can get when he doesn’t win. Like, say you beat him in a cooking challenge (because your pancakes were objectively fluffier). He won’t throw a fit, but you’ll catch him side-eyeing your plate like it personally offended him. “Your syrup-to-pancake ratio is off,” he might mutter under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear.
But his competitive streak isn’t all bad—it’s actually kind of adorable. If you’re struggling with something, Geo will quietly make it his mission to help you improve.
Trying to get better at a sport? Let’s use Kyūdō, in other words, the Japanese martial art of archery. It started as you’d expect—Geo, all serious and instructor-like, standing behind you to adjust your posture, his hands steady as they guided yours. “Hold it like this,” he’d say, his tone calm and precise. You could tell he was in his element, and honestly?
He’s kind of hot when he gets all focused like that.
At first, you weren’t great. The arrows went everywhere except the target and Geo’s quiet sighs of exasperation were hilarious. But instead of getting frustrated, he’d patiently explain what you were doing wrong, occasionally muttering things like, “It’s not that hard,” under his breath.
But then something shifted. One day, it just clicked. Suddenly, your arrows weren’t just hitting the target—they were landing dead center.
Every. Single. Time.
Geo’s reaction? Priceless. He didn’t say anything at first, but you could feel his aquamarine eyes narrowing as he watched your shots. “Beginner’s luck,” he muttered, crossing his arms.
Except it wasn’t luck. You kept getting better. So much better, in fact, that you started beating him.
The first time it happened, you expected him to be annoyed. But instead, he just stared at the target, then at you, and said, “You’ve been practicing without me.” (Spoiler: You hadn’t.)
From then on, Geo challenges you to little games—first one to hit three bullseyes, trick shots, you name it. And every time you won, you’d catch that subtle crease in his brow like he couldn’t quite believe it.
But despite his bruised ego, Geo was secretly proud of you. You’d catch him smiling—just barely—when you weren’t looking, and if anyone else tried to challenge you? Oh, he’d brag like crazy. “She’s the best shot here,” he’d say, completely deadpan, like he wasn’t lowkey sulking about the fact that you’d surpassed him.
Watching Geo try to outshoot you while pretending he wasn’t bothered was half the fun, you know it’s eating him up inside. “Good game,” he’ll say, his tone perfectly neutral, while internally plotting his revenge for next time.
It’s all part of the charm, though.
✑ You’re His Safe Space
Okay, I know—Geo and PDA? They’re not exactly besties. He’s not the guy to be all over you in public; in fact, he hates it.
Holding hands? Brings too much attention.
Kisses in front of people? Absolutely not.
He’s got that whole “reserved and composed” thing going on, and the idea of being openly mushy in front of others? Yeah, hard pass.
But here’s the plot twist: when it’s just the two of you? Total cling mode.
When Geo’s guard is down, he’s secretly so affectionate it’s almost like a plot twist you didn’t see coming. Imagine this: you’re just minding your own business—maybe reading, scrolling on your phone, or binge-watching something—and out of nowhere, you feel his arms snake around you. He doesn’t say a word; he just pulls you close, resting his chin on your shoulder or burying his face in your hair like it’s his personal safe haven.
It’s his way of saying, “You’re my peace,” without actually having to string the words together. Subtle? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.
Geo isn’t heartless—not by a long shot. He cares so much, he just doesn’t always know how to package those feelings into neat little boxes with bows on top. He’s the type to skip the love letters and dramatic proclamations and go straight to showing you how much you mean to him.
Actions over words, always.
And okay, let’s be real—some of us can relate to that. Maybe feelings aren’t the easiest thing to express, so we see a bit of ourselves in Geo. It’s not that he’s cold or distant; he’s just navigating his emotions in his own quiet way. And when he finally lets his guard down? That’s when you see his true colors.
After pulling you close, Geo turns you around, his hands lingering gently on your arms. His touch is feather-light, deliberate, as though he’s giving you a moment to realize what’s happening. He pauses, his fingers brushing against your lips in a way that sends a quiet thrill down your spine.
His eyes lock onto yours for a heartbeat—then they drop to your lips, lingering there just long enough for you to feel the tension in the air. When his gaze meets yours again, there’s something unspoken in his expression, a question he doesn’t need to say out loud: Is this okay?
And then, he leans in. It’s not rushed or overly dramatic; it’s a simple, slow movement like he wants to savor every second. His lips meet yours softly at first, testing, then growing a little firmer as he presses closer. It’s the kind of kiss that says a thousand things he wouldn’t dare put into words—trust, vulnerability, and a quiet kind of devotion he’s still figuring out how to show.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, his breath warm and steady as he lingers there for a moment. It’s like time stops, and nothing else matters except the two of you in that little bubble of intimacy.
Geo’s not about grand gestures or big, romantic speeches. But this? This is his way of telling you everything. His actions speak volumes, and each small touch, each lingering look, is filled with a kind of tenderness that words could never capture.
And maybe that’s the most Geo thing about him—he doesn’t need to shout his love from rooftops or drown you in cliché romance. Instead, he gives you moments like this. Moments that feel raw, honest, and entirely yours. Moments where he silently tells you, “You’re my world,” without ever saying a word.
Trust me, it’s worth the wait.
✑ Flaws? There’s a few…
Now nobody’s perfect—not even our polished, broody archer. Geo’s got his fair share of flaws, and honestly? They add to his charm in that I-don’t-know-why-I-like-this-but-I-do kind of way.
First of all, he’s stubborn as hell. Geo’s stubbornness could rival a brick wall and spoiler: you’re not winning an argument against him. Once his mind is made up, that’s it—game over. Whether it’s something as simple as how to fold laundry (he has a system) or something as big as life choices, he sticks to his guns like they’re glued to him.
Convincing him to budge? Good luck; you’ll need it.
Second, he doesn’t believe in second chances. Mess up once, and that’s it—you’re done. Geo’s not the type to forgive and forget; it’s more like, “You did what? Cool, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” He’s incredibly selective about who he lets in, so if someone breaks his trust, they’re out for good.
It’s harsh, but for Geo, it’s about protecting himself.
Third, picky with a Capital P. Geo’s the kind of person who knows exactly what he wants, and if something doesn’t meet his standards? Nope. He’s picky about everything—his appearance (always flawless), his environment (no mess, no chaos), and even the people he surrounds himself with.
If you’re lucky enough to pass his “quality control,” congrats, you’ve made it to the inner circle.
Lastly, Geo’s got walls on walls. He’s not about to open up to just anyone, and even once he does, it’s a slow process. He’s constantly watching, analyzing, and second-guessing people’s intentions. It takes someone special to get through that, and even then, he might still keep certain things locked away.
So, What Does This All Mean?
Geo’s flaws can make him seem intimidating and hard to approach, but they’re also part of what makes him so uniquely him. His stubbornness shows his determination, and his lack of second chances highlights how much he values loyalty and his pickiness. Well, it’s just another way he shows that he’s got high standards—whether for himself or the people around him.
At the end of the day, Geo’s trust issues are a double-edged sword. They make him fiercely loyal to the people he *does* trust, but they also mean it takes a long time for him to get there.
Still, if you’ve made it into his inner circle, congrats—you’re probably one of the few people he truly feels safe with. And that? That’s priceless.
Is he perfect? Nope.
But would we want him any other way? Not.
✑ Thoughts + Ranting
Okay, let’s get this out of the way again: Geo has serious trust issues. And honestly? Can you blame the guy? He’s been through (we don’t know about) so much that his walls aren’t just up—they’re basically a fortress complete with a moat, a drawbridge, and probably a dragon or two guarding the gate.
Here’s the deal: nobody really knows Geo. Like, we know he’s loaded, he’s ridiculously good with a bow, and he has a death glare that could probably stop traffic. But beyond that? Nothing. It’s like his life story is classified information, and we’re all just stuck guessing what’s in the classified files.
So anyway, Geo used to be High Class—fancy, untouchable, the whole package—but then bam some kind of near-accident happened, and he got booted down to the Low-Class building. Can you imagine the whiplash? Going from being at the top of the food chain to the bottom? That kind of thing doesn’t just bruise your ego; it leaves emotional scars.
And let’s be real, Geo doesn’t exactly strike me as the type to sit down and talk about his feelings and thoughts.
And then there’s Hyugo, Geo’s stepbrother and certified mortal enemy.
If you’ve played the game, you already know the vibes. Mention Hyugo’s name around Geo, and boom—instant disgust. Like, man doesn’t even try to hide it. His whole face scrunches up like he just smelled expired milk. And then, he hits you with the classic, “Nope, we’re not talking about that.” No explanation, no backstory, just vibes. It’s lowkey hilarious how much he’s committed to pretending Hyugo doesn’t even exist. For me.
I feel like Hyugo has something to do with Geo’s big fall from High Class. Like, maybe Hyugo was the one who caused whatever accident messed up Geo’s status. Was it on purpose? Was it an accident? Who knows! But Geo clearly decided, “Yeah, you’re dead to me.” Now, the name “Hyugo” might as well be a four-letter word in Geo’s dictionary.
And then there’s Crowe—the only person Geo actually trusts. And you know that didn’t happen overnight. Crowe probably had to work overtime, chipping away at Geo’s defenses like he was mining for gold. It was probably like:
Crowe: “Hey, let’s be friends.” Geo: Stares in suspicion for six months straight. Crowe: “Alright, cool, I’ll wait.”
If it took Crowe that long to get through, what does that mean for literally anyone else? Good luck, because Geo ain’t handing out trust like candy.
Now, let’s talk about you. Geo doesn’t say much to you, but the way he just… stares at you? Constantly? It’s like he’s trying to solve some crime scene in his head and you’re the number-one suspect. You’re just standing there like, “Uh, did I do something wrong? Or do I just look suspicious?”
Honestly, it’s so awkward and funny. Like, dude, either spill whatever you need to say or stop looking at me like that. But nah, Geo’s gonna stay quiet, because why use words when you can silently judge someone instead?
That’s the Geo experience in a nutshell.
Maybe he doesn’t trust you because of something to do with Crowe—like, maybe he thinks you’re toying with Crowe’s feelings ouch, judgmental much?. Or—plot twist—he’s onto something way bigger. What if he already knows you’re being stalked by whatever creepy thing is lurking in the shadows, and he’s just keeping tabs to figure out why it’s after you?
Who knows?
But here’s the thing about Geo: in the game, he’s not super complicated to figure out. He’s more of a supporting character—like that mysterious friend everyone secretly simps for but who tragically isn’t dateable. Pain. He’s just this quiet, chill dude with sharp words, killer aim, and a ponytail that probably smells like fancy shampoo. And somehow, he’s still everyone’s type. Go figure.
So yeah, Geo’s like a locked box made of solid silver—fancy, mysterious, and absolutely refusing to open. Respect the whole “keeping it classy” vibe, but come on, man—just crack the lid a little!
We’re starving for answers!
· ───────⋆⋅♤⋅⋆─────── ·
#the kid at the back x reader#tkatb vn#tkatb geo#geo oogami#subaru oogami#the kid at the back vn#tkatb#tkatb head canons#the kid at the back head canons
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"you belong here" - s.v.
pairing: gf!reader x aston martin!sebastian vettel
word count: 1.5k
warnings: (slight) age gap relationship, a little bit of cursing here and there, seb being absolutely down bad for the reader, some (slight) angst, the general public being judgmental, (slight) slut shaming, the drivers being little shits (as always), yadayadayada
a/n: i am a perfectionist when it comes to writing personalities, mannerisms, cadences of words, etc. so if i happened to not do the best job with this fic, please be patient with me!!! this is my first time writing for seb!!! i am open to feedback!!! <3
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"okay, from the top. how many drivers are there?"
"twenty."
"nope!" he shakes his head, his lips curling into a smug smirk, "there are nineteen drivers. sorry love, but you were incorrect."
"sebastian," you scoff, rolling your eyes, "you needed to specify if you were included. because if you weren't included, there would be nineteen other drivers. if you were, there would be twenty."
"that's why it's called a trick question," his hand squeezes yours, "your hands are clammy, by the way."
"maybe because i'm nervous?" you counter, "this is my first time tagging along to a grand prix, you know."
"i know," he brings your hand to his mouth, kissing it tenderly, "i'm sorry for being a little pest."
"you're not a pest," your heart swells at the gesture, "i'm just anxious to meet everyone, that's all."
"oh they'll love you," confidence oozes out of his words, "i have no doubts about that."
sebastian vettel, four time world drivers' champion, was your boyfriend of the last year or so. the two of you met online, as you had slid into his dms on instagram after a very intoxicated evening out with friends.
since you had a love for formula one since you were a teenager, you admired drivers such as lewis hamilton, nico rosberg, daniel ricciardo, and well, sebastian.
you weren't quite sure where the love for the sport came from, but you could remember the sleepless nights you spent on youtube, eagerly clicking through racing highlights through various grand prixes. the sleepovers where your friends would be doing makeovers on you or painting your nails as you chattered about all of the driver drama and lore.
so, when you learned that mr. vettel was very single, and very open to the world of dating, you decided to shoot your shot. it took about six or seven drinks, but you mustered the courage to type out those fateful words.
i heard your single. we should change that.
shockingly, you received a response not too long after sending the message.
i believe it's *you're and not your. why should i take you up on your offer? you're a very beautiful woman but i need a little more information before i take you out on a date. ;)
from that message, the two of you chatted constantly, getting to know one another in-between shifts at your job, and his free time between races, press conferences, and training sessions.
eventually, he asked for your number, requesting a facetime call. you obliged, the two of you talking for hours upon hours that night. only a week or so later, he flew you out to his place in switzerland, requesting that you spend the weekend with him.
you did, falling for him the moment you met him in person. well, not like it was difficult by any means. with his charming aura and goofy persona, you felt comfortable almost immediately, letting your walls come crashing down.
nothing was too much or too out-of-pocket. you could make all of the vulgar jokes you wished, and he would laugh right along, only escalating the joke further. you could cry on his shoulder about anything, and he would happily rub your back, wiping away the tears that fell. he would hold you every night you slept together, not letting go until you wriggled away in the mornings.
and now, here you were, hand-in-hand as you entered the paddock. your heart skips a beat as your gaze falls on lance stroll, sebastian's fellow driver and teammate.
upon seeing you, his mouth curves into a bright smile, "look who it is!"
"i know you're not that excited to see me," sebastian pouts, "or did you really miss me that much?"
lance rolls his eyes at sebastian, sticking out his right hand, "good morning! i'm lance. i'm the other aston martin driver. well, you probably already know that."
"it's nice to meet you," you suppress a giggle, "i've heard a lot about you!"
"oh have you?" lance arches a brow, turning to sebastian, "have you been talking shit?"
"always pooks," sebastian chuckles, "not really. i just happen to talk a lot about racing. i'm sure she's tired of it by now."
"oh never," you flash sebastian a radiant grin, "i never get tired of all of the racing talk. i've loved formula one since i was about thirteen or so."
"that's awesome!" lance gushes, "you have yourself a keeper then, seb."
"i know i do," you feel his arm wrap around your shoulder, "should we go meet some fans? i promise they won't bite."
"fans?" you echo, a shiver running down your spine.
"well yeah," lance nods, "we have some time before we need to meet up with everyone. we usually chat with some fans, hand out some autographs. nothing too serious or glamorous."
"if you say so," you mumble, the words so quiet you were shocked you heard them.
it wasn't like you were dreading interacting with fans, it was just that you were a bit daunted by the idea.
ever since sebastian went public with you about a month ago, the reaction from the public was mixed. one half was adamant that you were too young for the driver, as there was an almost fifteen year age gap between the two of you. the plethora of negative comments that flooded the comment section of your instagram posts was almost too much to bear.
the other half, however, was very supportive, voicing that they "shipped" the two of you or that you were good for the driver. some comments even went as far to say that you were "a breath of fresh air", and that sebastian needed someone like you in his life.
yet, as the three of you stroll out of the paddock, you hoped for the latter. that the fans would be kind, welcoming you with open arms.
you could only dream, right?
"sebastian!"
"sebastian over here!"
voices flurry about, calling from all directions. everywhere all around, it was almost a sea of green, fans donning aston martin gear from head to toe. people of all ages flooded your field of vision, children hoisted on their parents shoulders to men and women in their seventies, maybe even their eighties.
"baby, can i see your purse?" his breath fans against your ear, snapping out of your trance.
"yeah," you nod, fumbling with your bag, "y-you need your sharpie, right?"
"hey," fingers find yours, intertwining them together, "it's just you and i. forget everyone else. just think about you and i."
"it's hard to-" you protest, yet you're swiftly cut off by a voice rising above the midst of the crowd.
"who invited the slut?"
sebastian's brows furrow, his eyes narrowing into slits, "what the fuck?"
more voices cut in, jeering.
"put her back in her crib! where she belongs!"
"you heard what i said! who invited that slut beside you?"
"goddamn," lance mutters under his breath, "what the fuck are they on right now?"
tears well up, threatening to spill over as you duck your head, lower lip trembling. sebastian senses your energy shift, wrapping a protective arm around your waist. he pulls you in close, pressing gentle kisses along your temple.
"come on, let's go back to the paddock. you don't deserve this."
lance flashes you a sympathetic glance before raising a hand, giving the crowd the finger, "whoever said that, this is for you!"
every aspect of the walk back is blurred as the tears fall. your lips are sealed tightly shut, suppressing the sobs rising in your chest.
you were barely here an hour and fans were already heckling you.
could you even last the weekend here?
did you even belong here?
"hey," his voice is soft, "come here."
blinking, you realize that he had taken you back to his motorhome, a private space for just the two of you. his arms are open, inviting you in. you nearly collapse into his chest, burying your head in it as he rubs your back.
"i'm so sorry."
"you don't have to be sorry," you shrug, swallowing the lump in your throat, "they're right. i don't belong here."
"stop that," fingers grasp your chin, tilting your head up, "you do belong here. you belong here just as much as anyone else does. i need you here."
"you promise?"
"i promise baby," sebastian tucks a few wisps of hair behind your ear, "you're irreplaceable. who cares what they think? just focus on me. it's just you and i this weekend, okay?"
"okay," you nod, sniffling slightly.
"you know what i think?" he leans in, the tip of his nose brushing against yours.
"what?" you inquire, the tears dissipating as he brings you in closer.
"they're just jealous that i have the most breathtaking, stunning, kindest, funniest girlfriend in the whole wide world. and no one, i mean no one, can take that away from me. you're mine baby. and nothing is ever going to change that."
you find yourself nearly crumbling into his chest once again, "you mean that?"
"of course i do. now, let's go try this again. if anyone is rude or hateful, i'll just spit on them, okay?"
#sebastian vettel#seb vettel#sebastian vettel x reader#f1#formula one#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1#sebastian vettel x you#sebastian vettel x y/n#aston martin#aston martin racing
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