#he blames himself far too easily for things that go wrong

[3amfanfiction]

Simon Finds a Toy pt 2

Serial killer Simon takes you with him on his outings. How does that go? Cw: Stockholm Syndrome, period play, blood First

You watched at first.

Simon was beautiful in his brutality. You knew something was wrong with you for thinking it but it was the truth. The control he had over his body and the environment was truly astonishing. It was as if nothing could go amiss when he was watching.

It turned you on.

You weren't going to do anything about it of course. That was crossing a line. But you couldn't help how your body responded to him. It was just human nature. No one would be able to blame you.

Not that you spoke to anyone else. That was a step too far for Simon apparently. While he trusted you to leave the cabin with him, he got downright antsy if you began talking with people.

It didn't bother you as much as you would expect it to, having gotten used to only talking to Simon and Dog. The cabin had been a lonely place, isolating. Some days you wondered if being there warped who you were or if it only allowed it to flourish.

You're not sure you want to know the answer either way.

You watched as Simon worked his way through an office building. It was late, the sun having set long ago and the temperature was frigid in the evening air. You shivered from your place tucked into a little leeway near the back exit, tucking your hands further into your sleeves.

You heard the occasional low scream through the walls. Faint, only noticeable because you were actively looking for it.

That was a while ago though. It had been quiet for the last little bit which is why it surprised you so much when the door you were standing near burst open—slamming back against the wall before bouncing back, a man stumbling out in a panic before collapsing on the little concrete landing pad. You didn't say anything as he laid there and breathed, little sobs breaking through his panting as he tried to gather himself. There was blood copiously covering him and it looks like Simon has been toying with him for a while if the knife marks are anything to go by.

After a few short moments he gathered himself enough to lift his head, pushing himself to his knees slowly, clearly in pain. You must have made some sort of noise because his head whipped around towards you as he threw himself backwards, hands coming up in front of his face in protection.

Please, please no more.

You don't say anything, you can't say anything, can only watch this grown man begin to cry where he's huddled against the building, the sounds echoing softly in the night air.

He realized quickly that you weren't the monster that had been chasing him and switches gears abruptly—begging you to call the police, to help him, to get out of here. He cycles through them all rapid-fire, not giving you a chance to respond before the door slammed open again, this time much more controlled.

You saw Simon standing there, covered in thick canvas and looming like the specter he fashioned himself after. His white mask splattered with blood only increased his frightening demeanor.

The man who had been pressed to the brickwork of the building yelped and dove for you, grabbing your hand as if to tug you with him as you ran. It was kind of sweet how he was worried about leaving you behind.

You didn't say anything as Simon walks over and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, twisting a tight fist into the fabric to more easily corral him. You stood still as he began to walk back inside, dragging the whimpering man behind him. You didn't flinch as the man looked at you with a betrayed gaze.

As the door slammed you heard the quiet wind blowing through the trees again, crickets beginning to chirp after a few moments more.

\\\

You weren't talkative on the way back to the cabin.

You didn't feel particularly bad, which is what made you feel kind of bad. You didn't even want to help when that man made it outside. It was the same thing as a car passing you on the freeway. Something that was there but didn't elicit any sort of response. He was a non-entity.

Even when he grabbed you, trying to save the both of you, he didn't endear himself to you beyond a thought. You were more excited to see Simon walking through the door—looming, menacing—than the thought of the man getting away.

Isn't it a human concept to want to keep those around you safe? What does that make you then?

Simon let you stew in peace.

\\\

You didn't go with him next time or the time after that, instead choosing to stay home with Dog. He was lonely without the both of you, you told Simon, it's not fair to leave him alone for that long.

So you stayed. And you thought. And you tried to figure out what type of person you were. Did it really matter though? Deciding your placement on a scale of how 'good' you were wasn't going to change your actions. You let him die and you felt nothing about it.

Honestly, you still felt nothing about it.

\\\

Dog has two new tricks learned by the time Simon got back—stay and fetch. Well, there's about a 50% success rate on both of them so you're not quite sure if you can claim them as tricks learned just yet. But you were optimistic.

He didn't say anything when he walked in the house. Simply came over to kiss you dirty before going to wash up. You licked your lips and nearly trailed after him before you stopped yourself.

You could at least wait until the blood is gone.

\\\

"My period is ridiculously heavy this month. I don't think I've bled this badly in years," you said miserably, thunking your head down on the table. "The cramps hurt so much," whining to Simon, unable to do anything else.

He didn't say anything as he continued to clean and sharpen his hunting knives. The now familiar smell filling your brain and turning it hazy and warm. It would be a perfect day if your insides weren't trying to become your outsides in such demand. You rocked your head to the side so you could watch him, admiring how the streaming sunlight was bouncing off his face.

He was covered liberally in scars but you never found you minded much. Not even in the beginning—he'd always been handsome in your eyes. You watched, eyes at half mast while he rasp rasp rasped the blades against the whetstone, shining where it had been doused in oil. His strong fingers and thick wrists led up to his delicious forearms. Watching the tendons flex and move while he worked the blade against the stone had you shifting in your seat, prior complaints forgotten.

As he set down a completed knife and reached for the next, you found yourself blurting out, "I want to fuck your face."

Silence.

Why did you say that? Why did you say that? You were on your period, even if you wanted to you couldn't, plus you'd never said something like that bef—

"Okay."

What?

Simon put the knife back onto the towel it had been waiting on, ready to be picked back up later. He closed the oil tin and began to push away from the table before you were able to get your thoughts in line again.

"No!"

You backtracked when he looked at you, eyebrow raised, "I mean, no we can't do that. I'm bleeding right now, I don't even know why I said it."

"It doesn't bother me."

It doesn't bother me It doesn't bother me It doesn't bother me

It kept repeating in your mind, a circling echo as you mechanically removed blankets and laid out towels on the bed. Simon was stripping off his shirt but leaving his pants on, unbuttoned over his hips. He gestured impatiently when he caught you staring, prompting you to finish pulling off your bottoms. The pad you were using plopped heavily to the floor, already saturated even though you'd replaced it less than an hour ago. You ended up pulling your top off too after a moment, feeling a bit like Winnie the Pooh with a shirt on but no pants.

With a careful crawl you made your way to the center of the bed, already feeling a trail of blood making it's way down your thigh almost to the halfway point. A gasp and a clench when Simon swats at your butt as you moved past him caused the trail to gain several inches quickly.

A final shuffle and you made it to the towels, spinning around to lay on your back, watching Simon through your spread knees. Without any further delay he planted himself flat on his front, face hovering right above your cunt.

He didn't do anything but stare at it at first—watching the blood pool in the slit, filling it until the lips couldn't contain it any more before it spilled down to be collected by the towel. You're embarrassed to admit it but him just laying there looking at you is enough to begin feeling warm, the involuntary twitching of your cunt the last straw before he slid two of his fingers in to the base in one smooth movement.

You yowled at the sudden stretch.

There was practically no drag with how much you were bleeding but the stretch was still shocking. The wet squelching immediately filled the air, Simon thrusting his fingers in deeply before dragging them out, rubbing firmly along your walls as if he was trying to scoop the blood out.

You quickly began to pant, fisting the sheets below you as you struggled to keep still. Your little aborted thrusts were mostly ignored other than the grumbled, lay still. You were mostly successful until you felt as his rough fingers grazed a sensitive spot inside causing you to arch up and away involuntarily. With a snarl, Simon had you pinned down with his free arm across your pelvis—not letting you go anywhere.

Oh! That's . . . oh.

With a shocked gasp you finished, covering Simon's hand and forearm with bloody liquid, contractions doing the work of pushing out any back-pooling of blood. With a throaty groan Simon dove in—mouth first into your cunt.

"Simon!" you yelped, only just finishing the aftershocks of your orgasm. "Be gentle, please!"

If he heard you he didn't bother acknowledging it—simply continued feasting on your bloody cunt. You looked down to see something out of a murder scene. Blood was smeared all along his cheeks almost to his ears with how it was transferring to your thighs and back onto him. You were sure you'd be finding blood in his hair once this was over.

His mouth and nose were the worst of it with vivid red so thick you couldn't see the skin in some parts. He moved up to focus on your clit, his eyes glancing up at you and you jerked when you saw pools of black—his pupils completely eclipsing the iris.

He looked crazed, like the killer he was, an insane murderer who wanted to bathe in blood.

He looked as if he were smothered in decadence.

You noticed him humping the bed right before his fingers found their way inside you again, playing you like a fiddle. He was well versed in all your buttons and he quickly brought you back up to another peak.

As your breath grew shorter and whines started to fall from your lips he groaned into your folds, his rocking hips developing a frantic pace.

He came from dry humping the bed while eating you out. Your cramps having abated along with the itch under your skin. You could stay here for ages—keep him between your legs, worshiping at your center. Nothing to be done but splay out and take the pleasure as it came.

—you could ask.

You didn't get the chance before he's diving back in, ignoring your squeal at the overwhelming sensation so soon after your orgasm. He pinned you down again as you squirm, muttering about, never get to play in it, they're always screaming, tastes so good coming from you, want your cum mixed in with it.

When Simon pulled away, you looked down to check on him. You saw him holding a bloody clot, rolling it back and forth along his fingers, squishing and manipulating it—playing with this piece that had just been inside of you.

You were coming to the realization this was going to be an every month type of thing. Maybe playing in blood wasn't so bad.

\\\

Simon didn't ask you to come with him, he simply made it clear that you were welcome.

A second bag is sitting on the table, waiting to be filled, to be used. Simon ignored it and you as he stood there packing his own. He's going to the other side of the country for this outing and would be gone for close to a week.

You watched his bag fill up, items being tucked away and placed in pockets while the second bag sat there empty and flat.

He didn't say anything when you stood next to him and packed your jacket.

It was a completely uneventful trip for you.

\\\

You'd fallen into the swing of waiting by the back door, just in case, but Simon was good about keeping everyone where they should be. It seemed after the first one he was a little hesitant about leaving you alone with one of his victims. Were you a victim too? Or were you a participant at this point?

It's warmer now—not quite the full weight of summer heat but close to it. You were staring at the closed door, wondering what you would see if you opened it and walked inside. Did you even want to see anything? What did you think you'd get out of it? Maybe you were trying to punish yourself.

You already knew what Simon did. Seeing it wouldn't change anything . . . would it? You imagined how he looked when he was in complete control and your will wavers with the dangling reward. Maybe a little peek wouldn't hurt.

You hadn't taken more than two steps before the door burst open and oh, you were doing this again weren't you?

This time it was a young woman that stumbled out. She's pretty, you noticed offhandedly, even with her torn leggings, bloody nose and mascara tear-tracked face. She saw you and immediately jerked back, smart enough to know anyone standing outside a murder building probably had something to do with the murders.

Her expression wavered as you just stood there looking at her, not saying anything. More tears spilled over her lash line as she stared back, not giving an inch.

She took one step towards freedom and you yelled.

I guess that answers the participant question.

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[boxfullaturtles]

Can we have more of Leo’s perspective of Another mAn’s poison when they first find Mikey

only because i'm a sucker for angst

Perspective Shift: Another Man's Poison

warnings: implied force-feeding of unknown substances

-------------

Raph punched through four different doors before they found the room they were looking for.

Leo's entire world was suddenly just Mikey. Just his little brother, strapped to a chair with a tube down his throat. Strapped in a chair and looking sick. Nothing else mattered except his baby brother.

Hot anger smashed against cold terror and all of it boiled into a frothing despair in Leo's chest as he flew across the room. It swelled inside him in a violent storm with nowhere to go, his hands trembling as he searched Mikey's face for a sign of life.

A choked, watery cry, muffled by the tube, came from Leo's baby brother and Leo felt his heart crack into pieces. His fingers felt numb as he tried to quickly and gently extract the tube from Mikey's mouth, shoving it to the side, heedless of the thick slop still dripping out of it.

He could see Donnie in the corner of his eye, crouching to undo the restraints on Mikey's legs, and hear Raph growling in barely suppressed rage nearby. But the only thing that mattered was Michelangelo, the little sunshine spitfire, their baby brother. The baby brother who'd ripped a hole in the universe to save Leo. And Leo had let this happened to him.

“Mikey, Mikey, oh my god, Mikey, I’m so sorry,” The words and apologies spilled out of him in a rush of despair, useless patches to a gushing wound that nothing could stitch closed. His hands were still shaking as he gingerly removed the bit from Mikey's mouth, tossing it to the floor with a clatter that sounded muffled to his ears. He fumbled with the strap on Mikey's head, cupping the side of his brother's face, his eyes hot because Mikey was terrifyingly still, his eyes dull and tired, “We tried—we searched for you, we were trying so hard! God, Mikey, please say something, please, please…”

(If he never heard the sun's voice again, he was going to wither and die.)

Mikey twitched and a wheeze rattled in his chest as he sucked in a breath. He blinked slowly and seemed to be trying to work his mouth, opening and closing his jaw a few times before he squinted up at Leo. Their eyes met and a ragged smile tugged at Mikey's face, shaky and unsteady and more of a grimace than anything. But there was life in his eyes when he looked up at Leo and rasped in a voice that was barely a whisper,

“…t-took you guys…l-long enough…”

(Sunlight spilling into the dark and the cold, rays of hope with his brothers on the other side, reaching for an exit and for life he thought he'd never see again.)

Leo almost broke, a sob hitching with the relieved laughter up his throat as he held Mikey's face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. Tears blurred in the corners of his eyes, his smile hurt, the relief hurt, everything hurt, hurt, hurt.

“Did you just—damn it, little brother, of course we came for you!" As if Leo would ever leave one of them behind ever again, as if he would let the world take even one of his brothers away, "Dad and April and the Caseys are here too! And—and Draxum, if you can believe it! Let’s get you home, we’re gonna take care of you, Mikey, you’re gonna be okay!”

And he would, he would be okay. Leo would make sure of it.

[gay-dorito-dust]

You may request A batboys reacting to the death of the reader

First time writing for Tim, so he’s probs ooc in this one.

Dick feels as though he’s failed you.

He tries to act like he was fine but he was far from it and everyone knew it as they stepped on eggshells with him during this time.

Dick would often find himself sat on the very rooftops where he’d take you on countless dates or just to star gaze and talk as though you were still with him.

It was his own way of comforting himself with your loss but that was never enough to stop the tears that fell from his eyes when he spotted a bright star he’s never seen before until now, and laughs humourlessly.

‘I see you’ve finally made your way amongst the stars huh sweetheart?’ He’d say as your star would twinkle in response, making him chuckle. ‘You’re so beautiful, the brightest of your kind.’ He adds sombrely as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand as he felt his heart sing out for you, only to receive nothing in return.

Reality was often disappointing but with you it was a fairy tale.

Waking up to you was a dream within itself and getting to do mundane things with you before heading off to work was something that could only exist in a daydream.

He knew Hayley misses you as badly as he does with how he’d hear the poor dog whine and whimper at the door, as if waiting for you to walk through it and tackle her with kisses and love like you always did, only to get nothing for hours.

‘I know, I miss them too.’ He says against Hayley’s fur as she whimpers and whines at the door. ‘I miss them so fucking much it hurts.’ He adds as he allows himself to mourn for you alongside his dog long into the night.

Jason blames himself for not being fast enough or strong enough to keep you protected and safe.

The apartment you once shared with him that only recently had started to feel like home to him now felt cold and haunted with the ghost of you, so much so to the point he avoids it at all cost.

Nothing felt right without you, everything felt wrong and unjustified that he became more ruthless then before on patrols just to let off some steam and would come back from them more beaten and bruised then normal.

He didn’t care, he couldn’t feel anything anymore with how numb he became after loosing you.

Dick and Roy would stop by to see how he was doing but each visit was the same with Jason refusing his older brother and best friend entry as he held one of your plushies tightly against his chest. He knows they mean well but he just couldn’t find it within himself to hear the same thing he’s heard from everyone else; It just felt disingenuous after a while and didn’t feel as though people truly understood the impact that you had on him throughout your time together.

Jason would become more destructive with himself and going headfirst into danger without a second thought and damns his teammates for dragging him out by the scruff of his neck as he fights and kicks out of their hold. He doesn’t want to be saved! He just wanted to be with you again, why couldn’t they see that?!

After loosing you Jason becomes more prone to angry outbursts and often lets them out on the wrong person but he couldn’t care less at this point, his favourite person was gone and he was left back where he was before you.

Lost and deeply afraid.

Tim would retreat from everyone and everything by cooping himself into his room, rarely to come out.

He’d rather rot in his bed and on his phone, looking through all the photos you’ve taken together and seeing just how happy you both were, all the while a pit in his stomach grew at the thought of all the plans you’ve made but would never get to do.

He hated how easily he gave you his heart and hated it even more at just how easy it was to loose you that he wishes that he could stop himself from meeting you for the first time, just so he could selfishly save himself from the best moments of his life and the inevitable heartbreak he’d soon suffer.

Tim would do anything in his power to get you back but knew that it just wasn’t possible.

He knew Jason was given life by the Lazarus pit but he wasn’t willing to subject you to that even if he was held at gunpoint. He’d rather you rest in peace than force you to live with the knowledge that you should technically be dead.

Tim would remain in his room, wondering about the what ifs and the what could’ve beens if you hadn’t died. Would someone have taken your place? Was your death an unchangeable fixed point in time that was meant to happen?

He would only be reunited with you in his dreams where he has saved you and you had gotten to live out the rest of your life happily, rather then left for dead in an alleyway not too far from the place where you were originally going to meet up for date night.

Damian dedicated his life to getting revenge.

He had lost the light in his life, so why should he think his adversaries should live when you weren’t even given the option?

There will be more bodies pilling up on the streets of Gotham at a faster rate than normal whenever Damian is on patrol, much to Bruce’s dismay.

His anger and grief was all consuming and that left little to no room for logic to make him stop and see what he was doing was no better than the thing that took you away.

Life was black and white for a long time for Damian and you were the colour.

You were the air he breathed and without you he was gasping.

He knew about the Lazarus pit in his grandfather’s possession and its mythical properties and how it gave Jason a second chance at life. However he was at a cross roads on using it for his own selfish gain, on one hand he could have you back and everything would be fine again, but on the other hand you wouldn’t be the version of you he fell in love with…

Damian didn’t know what to do. The grief, the anger, the sadness…it was all too much for him. He felt as though he apart of him was missing and he would never get it back, it just wasn’t possible.

Bruce feels as though nothing has changed since his parents death.

He may be older, faster, stronger and wiser but that didn’t mean nothing in the face of death, and your death only proved that to be true as he held you in his arms, holding you close to his chest as he quietly sobs into your cold neck.

Much like Tim, Bruce doesn’t take care of himself anymore and it was up to Alfred to make sure that he doesn’t keep over and die unexpectedly.

‘They wouldn’t want this for you sir.’ Alfred would say as Bruce slams his hands down on the surface of his desk. ‘And what would you know that they want for me Alfred, y/n’s dead and it’s my fault.’ He would bark and bare his teeth at the only father figure he had in his life, a father figure whom has seen this expression bore on the young master’s face more times then he could count, but it still hurt him to see Bruce in pain and heartbreak.

‘They would want you to take care of yourself, sleep proper hours, eat full meals, shower, reach out to anyone,’ Alfred began to walk towards Bruce and place a hand on his shoulder, where he could practically feel the unbridled anger and pain radiation through him that he kept under control. ‘They wouldn’t want you to wallow in pain alone, Gotham needs you.’

‘And I needed them.’ Bruce replied sharply, aggressively wiping his eyes with his hand as he looks over at a framed picture of you that he always kept nearby. ‘All I wanted was them.’ He adds softly this time as he looks at Alfred, lost and confused at what to do now that his anchor was gone. ‘I miss them so much Alfred.’

Alfred brings Bruce into his arms, much like he did when he lost his parents, when he lost Jason and now you, allowing him to burrow his face into the Butler’s shoulder and softly sob into the fabric. Alfred felt his heart break even more as he rubbed Bruce’s back in an attempt of bringing him comfort. ‘I know master Bruce, I know, but you’d be doing their memory a great disservice by destroying yourself.’ The older man started as he looked over at the framed picture of you and smiled soberly, you were a beacon to Bruce and Alfred wasn’t afraid to say that he viewed you as his in law with how happy you made Bruce and that was all Alfred could ever want for him.

Now that you were gone, Alfred couldn’t help but feel that the manor got just that little bit lonelier without you.

[luludeluluramblings]

Conner Kent's Obsession with Smalltown!Reader

A/N: I saw a few people liking the Superfam stuff and finally went nuts attempting this Conner bit. I tried. I tried so hard. I added dialogue. I'm used to the YJ Conner, but this is my attempt at Comic Conner. If he's OOC, oops. Yeet. (I attempted to research, I swear.) Might edit this some later.

A/N: I write Reader with an accent. One, cause that's how I talk. Two, cause I like it like 'dat.

A/N: I'm also almost done with Part Seven, but I'm adding dialogue to that too to make the breaking point a tad bit more impactful. I've never really written dialogue before.

Warnings: Slight Yandere themes. Romantic Yandere. (Very subtle.)

Conner’s run-ins with Reader always seemed to piss Tim off. Especially after Tim started researching into Reader. He would occasionally always beg Tim to invite Reader to hang out. And, he would find himself rejected every single time. Before it was probably due to Tim being dramatic. Now, he certain of this, it's because Tim dramatic and jealous overprotective.

On other occasions, he'd just by pass Tim, leaving him to his cases (and creeping) so hecould sneak and bother reader. They’re kinda cute, in his opinion. Of course they call him a big city boy and said he clearly lived off of his daddy’s money. Which was only kind of wrong. But, they way they said it made his a trail of heat crawl down his spine.

After some time had passed, he knew that Tim and the other members of the family were suspicious about him coming to the manor so much. He never tried to hide his reasons There was no point in hiding behind weak excuses. He respected the Bats too much to even think he could fool them. Plus, lying to the Bats was a good way to get stabbed with a kryptonite knife. Even though they had made it pretty clear that they disapproved of him coming around so often, He was still going to keep visiting. Could they really blame him? It wasn’t his fault he was enamored so easily. 

He kept his distance just a bit. Like he was silently (commanded) requested. He could tell he made the newest addition to the family a bit uncomfortable. And, he understood. The clone thing was kinda freaky after all.

Well, at first he had assumed it was because he was a clone. That would make any normal person feel a bit weird. But, then he heard them keep call him that nickname. City boy. The way it rolled off their tongue and how often it was said was clearly a sign. They weren’t bothered by the clone thing. They just didn’t like his personality. He could fix that. That wasn’t that hard. He was adaptable.

So when he approached them again, for the million time, he tried to play up the cool and collected act. Going as far as to emulate the Batman. Which, surprising made the ice break. When they laughed at him.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

"No, seriously why are you acting like that?" You're still giggling at how hard he was trying to play up the serious act. Cause that's all it was. You don't doubt he could genuinely be serious for a moment, but this wasn't one of those moments.

"I'm just letting you see a different side of me, is all." Conner replies, trying to keep it up even though he had been quickly caught.

"You mean the imaginary side, city boy? I didn't realize you liked to play pretend." Another teasing snort. God, how you needed that laugh.

"I'm not pretending."

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah."

"No."

"Yes, you are. Don't be lyin' to me now. Or, Imma start gettin' upset."

"Okay, okay... How could you tell?" He conceded after a moment. The way he scratched the back of his head suited him much more than that little Oscar performance he was putting on a few seconds prior.

"I'm observant." Comes the mock arrogant reply. It was hard to give him a cold shoulder when he just made you laugh so genuinely in the last few weeks.

"Oh, look who's playing pretend now." The snark on his tongue doesn't have any heat, but it does bring you some relief. A bit of much needed normalcy.

Maybe it's the fact that the loneliness has slowly crawled into your chest and burrowed it's self deep in that hollow part of you, but it's easy to let your guard down around him for once. You had noticed his efforts to get to know you before, and maybe you let those preconceived notions cloud your little head. But, there was no need for them anymore. The twinge of glee he sparked was enough to burn them away and make you pause before you would rebuild those walls of yours.

"Are you saying I'm not observant?"

"Yep."

"The audacity!" The outrage nothing more than a sham. A simple way to fill the air between them. Cause even if the talk was small, just the hint of it filled something in you. That didn't make your curiosity fade, however. "But, seriously, why are you impersonating Bruce? And in his own house, no less."

The brief silence that washes over you both has you already regretting this. Had it really so long since you've had a proper conversation that you were this out of practice?

When he finally speaks again, it is gives you relief and more regret.

"I just wanted to finally get your attention."

Well, doesn't that make you finally fit in with the rest of your family?

Your tongue brushes over your teeth in an attempt to get the lead coating that made your words weigh heavy in your mouth off of it.

"I'm sorry, Conner. I- I've been smallminded haven’t I?"

"No, I get it. The whole clone thing is freaky." He starts, a light flush on his cheeks. He wasn't expecting an apology, and especially one so soon and so heartfelt.

"Oh, yeah, that... Really it didn't have anything to do with it. I kinda just thought you were a typical concrete jungle flirt. Momma warned me about men like you." You try to hide your sheepishness by adding humor to your voice, praying he catches your sincerity under all the different layers.

He catches something, judging by the beaming smile Conner gives you.

"Really? I had hoped it wasn't, ya know, that."

"Nah, nah. It wasn't. Still, I am sorry." You assume silence is about to befall the pair of you again, but he doesn't let it happen.

"My family owns a farm out in Kansas, you know?" The cheeky grin on his face screams that he's going to be getting his revenge in the form of mild bullying.

"No!" The resounding smack of your palm hitting your forehead nearly echoes in the halls. "I feel even worse now."

"So much for being observant, little detective."

"I never claimed to be no detective. But, I might be more... oblivious then I initially implied..."

Now, it's Conner's turn to guffaw at you.

"The audacity."

"Don't you throw my words back at my. I can't handle it." You can't help by click your tongue. There's hardly any annoyance from your words. "I really misjudged you."

"It's fine! I figured you might still be adjusting to Gotham and the whole Wayne lifestyle. Tim mentioned you're from a pretty small town when I started bugging him about you." He's clearly playing up the charm, but you let it work on you.

"More like I'm still suffering from culture shock." Slowly, you can feel this conversation starting to shift to something deeper than surface level. Things that haven't been allowed into the open air start to ripple underneath.

And, he takes that chance to draw it out.

"Still?" Empathy mixing into his tone. Those icy blue eyes looking incredibly warm. You'd never really taken the time to look at him. Sure, you knew he was attractive. Hell, everyone that seemed to show up at the manor was attractive. But, now you were finally looking at him. Too focused were you in taking in his appearance for the first time, that you completely missed the way those eyes shined with opportunity and desperate want.

"Yeah, still. It's... different."

"Different as in the food's a little weird or different as in the people are a little weird?"

"It's all a little weird, and it's... kinda... lonely?" You can't help the wince. You really don't wanna trauma dump on someone who you had initially misjudged. He didn't deserve that.

But, as he moves closer you can't help it. That desolate part of you longing for comfort when you haven't had it in such a long time and the way he's giving you all this undivided attention when you can barely catch Alfred in the halls these days fills that acute craving in your gut.

"Lonely?" God, the concern in his voice doesn't make you want to cry, but it does make you want to choke

"I... I think it's not here that's different. I think it's me that's too different." The way he sucks a breath in after the words leave your mouth makes you want to backtrack immediately. "I'm so sorry. God damn, am I mess right now."

"No. No. No. You are fine." The reassuring words oddly sound more like a purr, but they capture your attention all the same. "I get it. I really really do."

Why does he have to give you such a disarming smile. He's practically beaming at you now. There's a festering tension blooming around them like spores.

"You are really not helping me fell less like a jerk to you now." The click of your tongue attempting to defuse the budding blooms.

"Hey, if you're feeling guilt... you could, maybe... let me take you out for dinner sometime? Just to make it up to me."

After a stunned moment of thought, you finally find the words to reply.

" Honestly, I'd-"

"CONNER!" Tim's sudden interruption sends the words crawling back down your throat.

"Tim." He calls back in a cool greeting, but he strangely doesn't step back from you. Which is nice. You haven't had anyone close to you other than Dick and a few of your remaining friends at Gotham Academy. And Damian, Cassandra, and Duke get a bit huffy, or in Damian's case murdery, when they are within an arms reach of you.

"Sorry, am I interrupting anything? Conner and I had plans for the day." Tim's pleasant voice sends a wave of unease over you. He's not staring at you when he speaks. Just Conner. It's annoying how he's ignoring you despite you being right. In. Front. Of. Him.

But, then he does finally look at you and his dark grey eyes soften ever so slightly. You're not too mad. Clearly he's exhausted, judging by the bruises under his eyes. There's still a slight reflection in them as he's gaze meets yours, despite how dry the appear. Probably from looking at a computer too much.

"You really shouldn't bother with this guy. He's not worth it." The words are clearly meant to be joking. Casual banter between two close friends. But, you can't help thinking they come off a bit strong.

Conner seems to bristle at them, but he does brush them off.

"That's right, we are hanging out today. Can you blame me for getting distracted, though?" That cocky smirk of his is back, and he actually touches your shoulder. It makes you feels warm, but like a prize at the same time.

All Tim seems to do in response is twitch, but giving nothing away. His grey eyes going steely as they drift to Conner's hand.

When the moment finally passes, Conner lets his hand fall. You can feel it grazing down your back as he pulls away. Slow, like he's trying to strike a match and light something inside you.

"I'll see you later, sweetheart. Just think about my offer and get back to me on it!" Conner calls out as Tim storms behind him. Both heading in the direction of the library.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

As soon as their in the Batcave, Conner can tell he probably pushed it too far. Not that he has any regrets. He finally got somewhere and confirmed all of his previous theories about Reader. They were so adorable apologizing to him, and so deliciously sweet about it too.

He should've realized Tim was watching them, though. Dude was a creep. He maybe his best friend, but he's still a damn creep.

As expected, the rest of the family is also giving him the patented Bat-glare when he sees them. But, as he stated, he has no regrets. He's not stupid enough to stick around, though. He saw Jason loading a suspicious looking green bullet into the chamber of his gun. And, while he knows Tim wouldn't kill him, he's not so sure about the rest of them.

He's confirmed what he's wanted, what he's already suspected. They're absolutely perfect for him and ripe and raw.

[azulsluver]

I just binge read your bully au for twst and OMG! What if MC ends up cracking, going numb to protect themselves. They still do as told, but they have sky eyes, no emotion. Who would keep pushing to see them fully break, or who would just dump them like trash!?! Hell, who would enjoy them losing the fight in them!

tw: yandere, bully!characters, blood mention, unhealthy relationships/behavior, victim blaming.

Disclaimer, you don’t actually want this n stay safe from people like this!

Continue tormenting for fun:

Leona

Doesn't take you seriously. That's it? You're giving up already, gosh you really can't do anything by yourself...Leona is less than disappointed, in fact he knew good things would come to an end. But you still serve some purpose to him, Leona can't find himself to throw away his favorite toy, some things are just meant worth keeping. Even when broken and used.

Sebek

I don't think he'd catch on very quick, how you follow his instructions yet when the heel of his boot hits your back you make no sound of pain. Sebek should've known humans were too weak to handle his training, being pushed a little really got you that gone? This will only give Sebek the advantage to harm you further, he likes taking his frustration out on you without you screaming.

Lilia

You lasted longer than the others, and he'll applause you for that. Lilia doesn't necessarily hate this new you, embracing it but continues to see just exactly how far you can go. You're only in a shell, and he's not dumb, Lilia will stare longingly into your hollowed orbs, there is still a hint of you. Hiding away from him, Lilia is only fueled to either have you brain dead or back.

Rook

You're absolutely divine, he'll say as he wipes the trickling blood on your lips. You can't fool Rook with those dead-beat eyes, in fact this new look is beautiful. Rook craves for more of this expression you possess, he's seen you smile and cry, he wants to unravel more until you actually break. Rook has done some research on how the human mind can shut down when pushed into pressure, the thought of your alive yet corpse like body not instructing as told, he knows you're still in there.

Jamil

Jamil is conflicted with himself, you're alive but not yourself. A part of him enjoys the fact you won't refuse his affections. But did he really want this? Don't get this the wrong way, Jamil still prefers to beat you into submission, a sick part of him loves you so much yet he can't reciprocate his feelings to you. Understanding that this new you, will help ease his overwhelming emotions, he doesn't need to pretend anymore. Your clouded eyes are what he loves best.

Vil

Recents posts of him explain that Vil absolutely needs you just to take his anger out on. He’s in love with you no doubt, but embarrassment shames him from normally communicating with you. So even if you were emotionless he’d find some use, because he can’t get rid of you no matter how badly beaten your skin is. It’s you, and he’ll have no other person.

Epel

Didn’t know how to react at first. Epel kicks you a couple of times to see how you’d react. I think he because you aren’t responding to any of his criticisms does he ponder. He’s smitten with you, creating a fake narrative on his behavior that what he’s doing is ok, when he’s well aware it isn’t. Keeps you around because your nice to relieve stress from, doesn’t mind if you aren’t screaming and crying.

Toss them away (but he'll start thinking about you then wants you back eventually):

Jade

What a shame...he knew it was a bad idea to share with Floyd. You broke so easily, so fast, just when things were getting good. What good of an experiment if they give the same reaction, you aren't screaming as much as he expected. And the worse part is you listen to exactly what he asks for, there is no hesitation or breaking down to crying, you really are willing to cut off your hand? How boring.

Floyd

Frustrated, acts as if he didn't expected this to happen. Floyd is throwing a huge tantrum once he finds out you don't kick or scream at him. He misses the terror in your eyes when he asks you a question of such, now you're giving him a blank look! Not safe to say, if Azul or Jade wasn't there, you would've been dead for good, Floyd can't handle the fact his shrimpy is lame now. Out of pure anger, he would let his feelings get the best of him.

Kalim

At first he wouldn't notice your change of behavior. But that spark in you is gone now, Kalim doesn't want broken things. You were fun to play with, because he usually got high off the power he held over you, his stress toy won't even give him a proper bark. I mean you do bark, just not with enough enthusiasm. Like a fussing child, Kalim would have you thrown out, until he starts to miss having you beside his feet....

Cater

Makes the saddest noise when he notices how little you react to his touches. Slaps your cheeks a couple of times to make sure. Dramatically mourns over your past self before rudely telling you how you weren’t gonna last long with him either way. It’s been a nice ride with you he says, leaving with a kiss on the forehead. It’s cruel but depressing, because on his end he’s up at night staring at the photos of your more lively self. He misses those terrified eyes..

Enjoys the new MC and somewhat stops:

Riddle

The fire within you finally died, no more to fuel to feed. Just burnt ashes laying pitifully on the floor, grimy and unusual. Riddle is relived, he had proved a point to himself. All of his hard work to make you into the perfect person, docile and understanding. Riddle now has no reason to push you, you're at your fullest degree. You do as told, and no one gets hurt, physically and emotionally. (he's just like his mom frfr)

Ace

At a sense of peace. Once Ace understands that you are no longer you but a fragment he's thrilled. His mean names slowly die down, much more softer and cheesy when talking to you. If you're still there, disgusted or not he'd lay his head on your shoulder and mumble to you how much of a coward he was to confess. But all went well, the paranoia of you rejecting him gone. I mean what else can a lifeless you do?

Deuce

Has no other reason to bully you. You’re doing things just as he wanted and he couldn’t be happier. Like Ace he was paranoid of your rejection. But you don’t stray away from his rough hands massaging your cheek, kisses that bruise your lips. It’s heaven for him, he wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Malleus

He didn’t think you’d break so fast. Malleus barely lays a hand on you yet his words cut deep. Perhaps you finally learned your place, all that hard work and learning how to court a single-minded human like you payed off. You won’t have to face the wrath of his verbal abuse because he’s nothing but sweet to you. You look lovely no matter how bad it gets.

Ruggie

Ruggie didn’t go extreme measures to hurt you that bad. Maybe he got to you before the others could take advantage of your newfound persona. Like he always do, Ruggie takes care of things. By things he means you. Sure you’re practically not yourself anymore but it’s still you in some shape and form. His words won’t mean nothing to damage you, so now you’ll be taken under his care. Best person to be with in this situation.

Idia

Shitty attitude stopped so quick. Was leaning more to tossing you away but Idia gets attached quickly. He would never admit but you’re his favorite pastime everything, he can’t ditch you. So eventually all of his bullying stop because there is nothing to get a reaction from. Much more calmer and talkative around you. It’s nice knowing you aren’t actively judging him as he talks, no cover ups to be douche.

Jack

Once the numbers of people targeting you goes down does he step in. Jack is worried, genuinely. I think reader being emotionless snaps something inside of him, does he claim to protect you fully and run away from everyone else. His guilt that you turned out this way eats him, but he downs it out by telling himself you brought too much attention now he must clean the mess up.

Silver

There is a good case scenario if Malleus wasn’t so attached to you and Sebek left you alone!! Lilia can see how devastated Silver is once he finds out your condition. You’re almost lifeless, Lilia let’s Silver care for you because he finally found the guts to ask. Silver tends to your needs, all those years of standing from afar and watching you get hurt somewhat paid off. You’re dependent on him and he doesn’t wanna admit how good it feels.

Trey

Settles down like some retired man. He’s happy you found peace and stop causing trouble. You’ll be in his full care now, sure he’ll have his usual sadistic tendencies but it’s much more tame and softer. He doesn’t mind however if you come back to him all bruised and sore, he will feed and clothe you back to health. Over and over again. At least he stops his bullying behavior for a while.

[sonoyoung]

— unsaid

non idol!minghao x gn!reader | fluff + mini angst + second chance | 1.1 k | words i didn’t say - why don’t we

a/n. its been a while lol, i hope you enjoy.

It was out of reach. He’d thought of reaching out to you, just to check up on you. He knew he’d made the decision but he wished he hadn’t, now he could see everything so clearly and you were at the center of it.

Once upon a time, he had you all to himself, you were ready to be anything he wanted you to be but that somehow wasn’t enough for him. Thinking back on the way he brushed off your feelings, pure and authentic love, only for him to give you back nothing, he could only regret it now.

Why was it only when it was too late that he realized these things? He had wanted to convince himself that his heart wasn’t beating because of the smile on your face, that the feelings he felt for you were only out of sympathy, after all he never wanted to date you in the first place.

He just couldn’t reject you, so he accepted. He assumed it would be short lived, boring and easy to escape. He would get to know you during that time, act like he was interested and then he’d figure out some dumb excuse to end the show because he had tasted the fruits that young love brought and they weren’t tasteful enough to make him want to try again. But somewhere along the line, the acting faded into his actual feelings, and everything felt so real.

That didn’t stop him from going along with his initial plans. So now you were gone, just as he wanted except he was starting to realize, it was far from what he wanted.

Everyday with you in such a short amount of time felt like a dream, like he was being blessed just swimming in your eyes. He’d listen to you for hours just drowning in the beauty, in each lash, in each curve. He could probably draw those eyes perfectly just from the memory. It was such an unexpected feeling that the only solution was to ignore it. Ignore the thoughts of a future together that sprung up right as tiredness settled in, ignore the spark that lit up in your eyes every time your hands would connect.

All of that for nothing because he had already made up his mind on the way things would play out. Surely he hadn’t fallen deep after a month spent together, it was so unlike him. So he went through with it, leaving so many words unsaid, leaving you confused about where it went wrong.

Now you probably hated him, while he was realizing how deeply he was in love with you. Would you answer if he called? Did he have any reason to call? He just missed your voice truly, the thought that he could never hear that voice again felt unthinkable.

Love was never good for him so he gave up on the wishful thinking, but what if this was the right one, the one they made movies about, he felt like he could write a whole script about this indescribable feeling.

Fuck the phone.

He never ran but he was running right now, checking his watch as he slipped through the pedestrians, judging from the time he knew exactly where to find you, he could make it.

Just as you opened the door he rushed down the corridor, out of breath, an unfamiliar sight from Xu Minghao.

“Hao…” Your words faltered, a face that once brought you so much comfort now all you could feel was a deep pit building up in your stomach. You wanted to ask why he was here, why he’d ended things so abruptly when everything was going well, but you just waited for him to speak for himself.

“I won’t ask for your forgiveness, I just… I didn’t realize this before but I’m so in love with you, and it’s so hard ignore because you’re the only thought on my mind”

Each step he took forward and closer to you made you want him even closer. You looked up at him hesitantly, the words sounded nice in your ears but he’d tricked you so easily once before, you wouldn’t have anyone else to blame but yourself if he was fooling you this time.

“You were able to figure that out in 48 hours?” He smiled, and you shift your gaze away from him, he really knew how to get you.

“I kinda always knew but… after that night, being away from you I realized it wasn’t something that would just pass.” His voice sounded soft, gentle, reassuring, sincere.

“The thing is… you hurt me Minghao, you got my hopes up so high and then you completely destroyed it.” Your feelings were undeniable, you’d liked him first, asked him out, planned most dates. A part of you wanted to see that from him, the words were nice but actions spoke louder.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I was an idiot…” He sighed looking up at the ceiling, he turned his gaze back down, a soft smile playing on the corners of his lips, “You know listening to you most of those nights together, I never wanted the sun to rise, I wanted to spend eternal nights with you.”

“I had so many signs but I was really just scared, of how much I did care for you so I ended up fleeing and hurting you in the process.” Your eyes closed shut from the slight brush of his fingers on your cheeks. Eyes back up on him you could only think of pulling him closer, closing the gap till you were one.

“Hao…” his hand cupped your cheek perfectly, his name fell out unconsciously. He hummed curiously scanning your face for a hint, you lift your hand up reaching for his collar to pull him in closer.

He let his hand go down your neck, a light gasp escaping your mouth as his lips pressed against yours. He kissed you so delicately, tasting your sweet balm right off your lips, pulling you in closer as you breathed out on him. The urge to drag him into your apartment only grew as his tongue met yours, before you’re able to get any further you’re interrupted by the sound of keys pulling away immediately to greet the older lady.

You turned away at the same time once she’s gone, eyes meeting with an amused smile on your lips, you let him take your hand in his, toying with your fingers mindlessly as he stood there, above you, just staring in your eyes lovingly.

“You promise you’ll stay?” You asked weakly, he let your fingers intertwine filling in the gaps, leaning closer to rest his forehead on yours.

“I promise you eternal nights.”

ty for reading feedback is much appreciated

[theladyalicenthightower]

When people say that Penelope was wrong to reveal Marina's pregnancy and she was selfish to do it and she ruined Colin's happiness... First of all, what happiness? Anyone seriously think he was going to happy in his sham of a marriage once he learned Marina was already pregnant by her actual true love when they first met? Does anyone seriously think Violet Motherfu/in Bridgerton wouldn't realize Marina was too far along in her pregnancy for a newly wed bride who only slept with her husband on their wedding night? Do you think Colin is going to be so happy and supportive after learning he was never true love for his wife, not even her first choice by a long shot? Colin is a good man, but there's no telling he wouldn't seek a divorce. And why shouldn't he? Since he would be the wronged and betrayed party. He's rich, has a Viscount brother and a Duchess sister, he would easily get his freedom from such a "marriage" from parliament. Where would Marina be left then?

Colin only said that he would have married Marina if she had been truthful to him from the start. Not that he would still marry her after she hid it from him, and was going to do her best to dupe him even after they married. If he still wanted to marry to marry her after learning the truth, he would have married her. He clearly did not. It was an infatuation on his part, and it passed. That's reality.

And what about Penelope? She is, by her own admission, in love with Colin Bridgerton. Has loved him as long as she has known him.

What kind of love would it be, if she did not even do everything in her power to prevent the Marina fiasco? That would have been pretty lousy of her, letting him be made a fool by his own wife for the world to laugh at, while claiming to love him.

Oh, and I'm surprised that nobody brings up the fact that it was important for Lady Whistledown to reveal that Marina was not only pregnant, but had been since before she entered the Ton. Otherwise, Marina could just claim that Colin was the father of her child and sue him for Breach of Promise - a very real legal thing in Regency England. And he would have no way to prove himself innocent.

In the end, Penelope just prevented long term damage, that would have otherwise left both the Bridgertons and Marina, as well as the Featheringtons, shamed and destroyed.

In such a case, when Eloise eventually found out that Penelope was Whistledown and knew about Marina's lies, then she would blame her for not speaking up, and letting her brother be used, betrayed and his life ruined.

[ghost-bxrd]

i know irl tims im better than jason in every way attitude from his early runs was the authors way of telling people how much they hated jason without literally saying it, however

id like to see more of that characterization in fan works because ive gotten overwhelmed with how the only way i see tim written ever is hero worshipping jasons robin, self depreciating self sacrificing savant

id be interesting to see how ppl try to wrap themselves around a tim thats not their usual guy

I think part of the reason that there’s so little of that characterization going around is that few people resonate with it. Blaming a literal kid teen for getting himself killed by a madman just seems wrong, and having that come from a character that’s supposed to be the hero of the story? Yeeeeeah, questionable at best. But that’s the very early Tim depiction as far as I’m aware, and later on Tim’s character gained a lot more substance.

Tbh I’m an avid fan of the fanon hero worship of Jason’s Robin, but I can totally understand that’s not your thing.

Although! not having Tim idolize Jason doesn’t necessarily mean he actively has to trash talk him (sliding from one extreme to the next, so to speak ksksksks)! We can easily have a badass Tim Drake who takes no shit and is a formidable Robin (whom instills fear in the criminal populace of Gotham) who doesn’t use Jason as a cautionary tale every other sentence.

For example, Wayne Family Adventures handles Tim and Jason in a pretty unique way. They don’t get along too well, but they take out their animosity on each other with harmless pranks and jibes instead of victim blaming. Both give as good as they get, but at the end of the day they’d still take a bullet for each other. A good compromise between canon and fanon✨

But yeah, the early Tim Drake is certainly… something. Not my cup of tea tho >.<

[blessedwithabadomen]

in love with the mess - day one

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : fluff and flirting

length : 3.1k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken

a/n: I'm not home this week so I hope this posts correctly from my phone 😬 enjoy the chapter!!

•••

day one

If there was one thing to know about me it was that I was an absolute whore for a breakfast buffet. And the one at this hotel had both a waffle station and a chef to make you omelettes on demand so really, I couldn't be to blame. It was simply unfortunate that I was elbows deep in a plate of chocolate croissants I’d balanced on my table when Noah appeared.

For a singular moment I still had hope that he would not see me or even then, decide to ignore me and enjoy the quiet morning by himself, but after a quick detour to the coffee machine, he confidently took the seat across from me.

“You stuff everything in your mouth with that much vigour?”

Both of us froze in the middle of our movements. From the look in his eyes, I was pretty sure that he was not insinuating what we were both thinking now, the realisation of what his words could mean hitting him only after they’d already been spoken. I was trying so hard not to let my face twist into a grin, or full on laughter, and it was becoming increasingly difficult with every second of horror passing through his eyes.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Finally realising that I was very much seeing the humour in his slip-up, he cracked a handsome smile, half-hidden by the hand that was rubbing his face as he groaned. I had half a mind to throw another remark at him, tease him about his faux pas a little further, but my eyes were trained on the back of his hand and the dark flower design inked into the skin.

Carefully reaching for him, I pulled the hand away from his face, lying it palm-down on the table between us between my plate of sweets and his coffee, just to study the tattoo further. Tracing every line on every patel, I committed the design to memory. It was gorgeous and it was perfect on him.

“You got any tattoos?” Noah tried very hard to sound normal, but I heard the huskiness in his voice, one that hadn’t been there before. I hoped it had to do with my touch. It was why I didn’t quite let go of him when I answered.

“A couple,” I mused. “Most of them hidden away though. Had some, quite ridiculous I can say now, ideas about wanting to have the option of a normal job that might not like to see me covered in ink. Although I’m pretty sure that ship’s sailed, so I’m definitely looking to get started on my arms soon.”

“Where’s the ones you have so far?”

He was probably expecting my legs, my shoulders, something easily shown with barely any clothes removal. Something I could let him see right now. He wasn’t entirely wrong. I did have a couple in those spots, too.

“I don’t think I can show you in a public place without becoming a menace.”

Noah’s hand visibly flinched underneath mine and he pulled back, immediately making me miss his warmth. He took a long sip of his coffee and I wondered if it was an attempt to buy some time.

“This was, um,” he coughed in between his words, “a great talk but you’re a fucking flirt and I need a bit more caffeine to deal with you.”

Disappointment flooded my veins as he got up from the table - had I been too much? Said the wrong thing? Come on too strongly? I knew I had vowed to take Lia’s advice at being a little more offensive and letting myself do whatever I was in the mood for, but that didn’t mean it was appreciated. Maybe I should back down. Keep more to myself after all. Not be so damn-

“Find me later?” He asked with a grin as he stopped next to my chair on the way out.

Well. Maybe I didn’t need to change much at all.

•••

I had forgotten how much running around was involved in a job like that. I wasn't complaining really, I did enjoy that it kept me on my toes, but I was thoroughly exhausted by the time I basically dropped Oli off for soundcheck. He'd had several appointments beforehand that I accompanied him to and even when he was busy, he still found time to think of fifteen different things he had forgotten in some place or other and needed immediately, making me cross the arena and the hotel several times more than necessary. He had way too much fun with it too.

Now I finally saw a chance to take a breather, so I grabbed a couple of things from catering (surprisingly good catering actually, Bring Me The Horizon had really moved up in the world it seemed) and went on a hunt for a quiet backstage room. I was fully planning on bunking up in one of Bring Me’s dressing rooms as they should all technically be empty now, but when I walked past a different door, half open, half closed, I couldnt help but stop as I looked inside. Noah was sitting on a couch - well, I said sitting, I really meant he was halfway to sliding down off it, his head collapsed onto the back ledge, eyes closed, looking ridiculously uncomfortable.

I didn’t mean to disturb him. In fact, I didn’t quite know what the plan was at all, but in one split decision, I walked into the room, quietly closing the door behind me and sitting down on the couch next to him. Balancing my stuff on the table, I scooped some of my (honestly deliciously smelling pasta) on a fork and carefully held it under Noah’s nose.

It was like watching a dog sleep that suddenly started dreaming of the very smell that surrounded him in real life. His nose was starting to twitch in the most adorable way, then his breathing changed a little. One by one, his body was waking up, not quite sure yet why, but pulled from his sleep anyway.

His eyes finally opened, a little at first, then more, slightly swollen from the nap had seemingly had taken him by force, as he tried to focus on where we was. Blinking, then blinking again, he finally set sight on the fork in front of him, brows furrowing as he pulled his head back to look at it better in utter confusion.

“What the-”

Noah finally sat up properly, only just now noticing me sitting next to him, amused beyond belief as I finally pushed the fork in my mouth. The pasta was a little cool already, but still surprisingly tasty. Good venues came with good catering apparently.

“Want one?” I asked, scoopin up some more pasta and holding it out to him. Still a little dazed, he simply opened his mouth and let me carefully feed him a portion.

“Didn’t you two meet, like, yesterday?” I looked up in surprise as someone entered the room. Folio, I think his name was, drummer for Bad Omens, currently looking at us with an questioning, but not unkind smile. “What’s with the married couple behaviour?”

“Very funny,” Noah commented, but there wasn’t the usual playfulness in his voice. I instinctively pulled back a little.

Both men exchanged looks I couldn’t quite interpret. I didn’t know either of them well enough to know what they were silently communicating, but I knew there was a conversation happening that I wasn’t part of. The intensity of it was felt in the whole room though. If I was the reason for it, I wanted to never be put in this position again. It even put me off the pasta I’d been shovelling in my mouth with vigour.

Then Folio turned away from him and toward me, once again showing his smile which seemed so out of place for a moment that I wondered if I had purely imagined the unease I had felt before.

“Oli’s looking for you, by the way. Apparently he left his phone in his dressing room.”

“I’d wondered why it was so quiet,” I mumbled with a look toward my own mobile. “Not sure why I thought I could escape him.”

Folio sent me a pitiful look, even though I was sure he knew as well as I did that I wasn’t really complaining. Getting up from the sofa, I cradled my pasta again, determined to finish it one way or another, putting my phone into the pocket of my jeans, when I felt a hand on me.

Noah’s fingers were wrapped around my wrist. He had sat up slightly just to reach me. I both wanted to lean into his touch and pull away, almost overwhelmed by the sensations running through my body with his fingers on my pulse point.

“Are you watching the set later?”

“Yeah, I… Oli said I could watch the show from the sound desk.”

“Good. I hope you enjoy it. I’d say I’ll look for you but I don’t think I can see that far.”

And then he sent me a smile that had my heart soaring and I was once again ready to throw all caution in the wind.

•••

“Are you sure this is okay?”

I carefully slid into a designated spot at the sound desk, giving everyone around me smiles that I hoped would convince them not to hate me for intruding into their workspace.

“Well if you touch anything, we’ll have to burn you at the stake… Other than that, welcome to the sound desk!” The woman next to me cheerfully explained. “Don’t worry, Oli vouched for you, so unless you’re extraordinarily clumsy and manage to undo all our work with the sweep of a hand over our stuff, you’re grand.”

“I’ll try my very best,” I promised. “And if I fuck anything up, take it from Oli’s wages please.”

“Oh, gladly!”

I watched as she went back to work, preparing for the upcoming Bad Omens set, and I couldn’t help but study her a little bit. If I hadn’t known from the AAA pass around her neck and, well, the fact that she seemed to know what she was doing and wasn’t in the process of getting kicked out, I couldn’t have told her from the fans that were starting to crowd around us in the venue.

She hadn’t overdone it by any measure and her face, as far as I could see, was blank of any make-up, but she had dressed the part with ease. Heavy boots accompanied her black shorts perfectly, making her look both tough and delicate somehow, her black top was wrapped in a corset, she was wearing a choker and several earrings. It just made sense. Looking down at myself, I was suddenly less thrilled with my hastily put-on choice of clothing from that morning. A simple pair of dark jeans, a non-descript shirt, no accessories whatsoever.

I didn’t know why I hadn’t made more of an effort. It wasn’t that I thought it was expected of me or necessary in any way, but looking at the sound tech reminded me of how much fun I usually had dressing up. In fact, half of my wardrobe at home was stuffed with elaborate pairs of trousers, laced tops, skater skirts, platform boots. Only I hadn’t really packed any of it.

Pulling out my phone, I shot a text to Lia.

Aubrey

Have I been hiding myself away lately

Lia

context pls

Aubrey

I can’t remember the last time I dressed up and it’s just hit me with everyone in this venue looking so fucking fab

For a moment, I wondered if she was already giving up on messaging me, but when I looked back at my phone, I realised that she was instead recording an audio message. Oh dear. Checking the time, I made sure I would manage to get a good listen before the lights dimmed and Bad Omen’s show began.

“Babe, since you’re finally realising it yourself now, yes, you’ve been letting yourself go. I didn’t want to push you too hard - well, I would have if you’d gotten really bad, you know that but then Oli called so that was off the table. But since… you know, you had that girlfriend and it was all fucked up and your family basically - well, let me just say I’m still available to beat any of them up. The ex and the family. You know that. But yeah. It’s taken a toll on you and you’ve not been yourself lately and it’s been painful to watch. Which is why I’ve been telling you to have some fucking fun on this tour. Put on that dress and that lipstick and get back to being yourself, yeah? And now enjoy the show and give Noah some air kisses from me, love you, bye!”

I felt dumbstruck. Had it really gotten that bad? Had everyone noticed but me? I knew I’d been struggling a bit since my last relationship drama and everything that followed (and technically preceeded) it, but… Lia’s words were ringing in my head. Maybe I had been letting myself go. It wasn’t worryingly bad, surely, but had I been my usual self? I thought I was seeing glimpses of it again now that I was on tour.

Quickly checking the schedule on my phone I realised that after today it was one more gig before a day off between Bournemouth and Birmingham. I shot Oli a message.

Aubrey

I don’t care what kinda disguise you need to go out but you need to take me clothes shopping in two days xoxo

Oli

I’ll get a fake moustache

•••

Bad Omens were a force to behold on stage. I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on Noah as much as the distance would allow me to, hanging onto his every word, studying his every movement. It was mesmerising. I’d never had the pleasure of seeing them live before but I already knew I’d make sure to catch them several more times on this tour. There was simply no way around it.

The break was spent chatting to the sound tech whose name I finally learned was Becky. It turned out she was extremely passionate when it came to talking about her craft and I was a willing listener. Nothing she said made a lot of sense so far as she threw all kinds of technical terms at me, but it was fascinating to hear her explain how much of a part she and her team really played in making this an experience, rather than just a live show.

She barely managed to stop talking by the time she was nudged by someone else on her team to notify her of the performance being about to start, which left her busy for the next one hundred minutes and me with too many thoughts and no one to voice them to. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I spam-texted Oli all of them for him to find after the show.

Aubrey

Opening with darkside is bold but I love a bold man

Aubrey

I love this setlist so much

I know you showed it to me yesterday but it doesn’t compare

Also the visuals wow

Aubrey

You look very good in red btw and so does your ass

Aubrey

Cause you got a taste noooow drank the kool-aid by the juuuuug

Oh dear I hope everyone’s ok

I’m glad you’re stopping shows liberally these days to make sure

Aubrey

I said it before and I’ll say it again, strangers into diamonds is fucking insane and I don’t know who allowed you to do that

Aubrey

Antiviiiiiiist!! Tell Noah he looks good in that mask

Aubrey

Also why were you getting a headrush after that song hmmm was it performing with Noah do you love him I’d get a headrush to if I screamed with him like that and got to give him two hugs

Aubrey

Yeah the doomed montage is making me cry, fuck you

Aubrey

I hope you have fun whenever you find these messages

I promise I wasn’t drunk when I wrote them just high on live music heyyyy

•••

Walking backstage, I immediately ran into the band leaving the stage. Lee held out his hand for a high five, massive smiles all around from a successful start to the tour, and I wasn’t one to leave him hanging. It ended with everyone who came up behind him following suit on the high fives, until Oli appeared at last, who instead grabbed onto my hand and clumsily twirled me around myself. I was still stumbling over my feet, uncoordinated feet unable to keep up with the sudden movement, when he pulled me into his chest for a hug.

Oli was made of pure adrenaline. I could basically smell it radiating off him. There was laughter in my ear, exhilaration from the first show having gone well, his hands pushing against my back so tightly I had no choice but to melt into him. Any attempt at not touching his bare skin were futile as my fingers slipped under his cropped jacket. He was hot and sweaty, but I didn’t mind one bit. If anything, it awakened something more primal in me. Something that begged to claw at his skin, push him against the nearest wall, have a taste of the droplets running down his chest. I was almost glad when he let me go for fear of what my hands would do if he didn’t.

“I sent you a couple of messages during the set by the way. You can read them as a slightly unhinged bedtime story,” I explained as he nudged me to get a move on toward the dressing rooms.

“Oh I bet those will put me right to sleep,” he laughed.

“Did you actually say that you had a headrush on stage after performing with Noah?”

“Fuck, yeah, my head was fucking spinning, thought I was gonna faint.”

“Was it so stimulating be around him?” I teased, moving to tickle his side, but he quickly dodged me and fell onto the sofa alone. “Does he make your heart race?”

Oli eyed me for a moment, pushing his hair back. I tried my best to ignore how good it looked on him.

“See, you talk about him so much, I can’t tell if you wanna hook up with him or if you want to set me up with him.”

I genuinely didn’t know how to answer that. I didn’t think I quite knew it myself.

[soapsbaby]

Sweet Dreams

Kinktober Day Seven

Summary: Simon comes home late while you are asleep already but simply can't resist you. Characters: Simon “Ghost” Riley x f!reader Warnings: NSFW (mdni), Somnophilia (previously consented to) Word Count: 1000ish

He comes home later than he had promised you, it’s early in the morning when he finally quietly shuts the front door behind him, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat.

He is quietly cursing himself that it has taken him so long to get home, he would have loved to have you, finally get rid of all of that pent up frustration. Grab you and take you wherever in the house that he found you. No exchange of words, just pin you down and fuck you. You could talk afterwards.

But he is sure you are asleep by now, and he can’t blame you. It's late, you have work in the morning. 

He walks into the bedroom as quietly as he can, careful not to wake you. It’s a full moon, bright enough for him to be able to see you clearly without turning on any of the lights. There you are, peacefully curled up, wearing one of his shirts. It’s way too big on your frame. Your skin is almost tinted blue in the pale moonlight.

He slides into bed silently, hoping the denting of the mattress doesn't wake you, but it doesn't seem to. For a moment he genuinely considers going to sleep, just waiting it out until the morning. 

He could have you before you leave for work, fill you up before you have to go. It wouldn’t be the first time his patience had been tested, but something about tonight felt different.

Just a look… A look wouldn’t hurt, right? He gently pulled back the covers, revealing your ass to him. The shirt had ridden up over it and so you were only covered by a pair of panties. He silently swears under his breath. He is so desperate to touch you, to feel you.

It’s been so long.

He knows that he has the okay from you to do this, but it still feels wrong.

Still, he can't help his hand from reaching out, his fingers just barely grazing your skin, but it is enough to make his cock ache in his pants, eager to fill you.

God, he should have thought about this. Of course this had just made things worse.

You had allowed him to do this, you had encouraged him to have you in your sleep, yet the shame of how badly he wanted it now still almost took overhand.

Almost.

His fingers reach out again, this time he hooks them on your panties.

He knows he is on the border of no return, but trying to get himself to care is growing more difficult by the second.

The fabric slides over your ass and down your legs easily, leaving you even more exposed to him. He just leaves them halfway down your thighs.

"Shit…", he mutters under his breath, palming his cock through his underwear. He is already fully hard and cursing himself for it.

Every step he had taken had been too far, and now there was no going back. He had to have you.

Your pussy is so beautiful in front of him, so inviting, slightly glistening. 

His fingers reach out, his middle finger parting your lips and feeling how wet and warm you are.

His finger slips into you so easily, he almost loses his composure thinking about how good you’ll feel around his cock.

He slowly works you open for him, adding a second finger.

There are quiet noises escaping your mouth, but you are still asleep, even as you slightly grind yourself against him, looking for some type of friction.

He uses his other hand to free his cock from his underwear, lining it up with your pussy.

You whimper quietly as he pushes himself inside of you, for a moment it seems like you are waking up, but he softly shushes you back to sleep.

“It’s okay.”, he hums. He presses a kiss to the back of your neck, hand gently running through your hair.

“I’m sorry, Baby. Go back to sleep. I just need to have you right now.” 

It surprises even him that this works, but you just mutter something and then your eyes fall shut again.

He swears under his breath as he pumps into you a few times, rolling his hips against your ass until he bottoms out inside of you. He is amazed at how easily you take him. 

He does a few careful strokes, already feeling himself getting close. It’s been so long until he has been able to fuck you and everything about this situation, how forbidden all of it is, makes it even more difficult for him to not just burst on the spot.

You usually come around his cock so easily, he wonders if you can do it like this as well.

His fingers reach around you, gently shifting your sleeping body until he finds your clit, drawing small circles across it.

He wants to just pound into you, but he doesn’t want to disturb your sleep, so instead he goes steady, slow deep pumps.

A whimper escapes your throat, your breaths growing heavy as your body reacts to his touch.

“C’mon, Baby.”, he whispers, lip tucked between his teeth to keep himself quiet. He wants to hold back, wants to keep going for as long as he can, but he loses it when you finally clench around him, whining desperately as your orgasm makes you shake in his arms.

He comes deep inside of you, his face buried against your shoulder, taking in your scent as he struggles to keep himself silent. He keeps his cock inside of you as he can slowly feel himself getting soft again, plugging you up to not let any of his cum go to waste or make a mess.

Such a good girl, he thinks to himself, the aftershocks of his orgasm making him slightly tremble.

He gently pulls you into his arms, your back to his chest, pressing kisses to the back of your neck.

He is hoping that by morning he’ll still be inside of you.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S2

Awww, I like that Bond Forger the Dog also gets an intro about HIS secret identity. Equal opportunity deceit

Are we finally going to learn who exacty Yor is fighting? I would like to know!

Been there Anya, I also had little patience for watching the news as as a kid. Though, it seems more important in a pre-internet era

"Okay, you can change the channel." Loid Forger, International Spy, defeated by one (1) sad look from his little daughter

"I absolutely cannot tell him that I got shot in the butt while fighting a group of armed men." 10/10 episode plot, I cannot wait

"I've been relying on her too much without realizing it, and it's upset her. Yes, that must be it! I must do everything in my power to remedy this at once!" Loid immediately blaming Yor's mood on himself and deciding he has to be respond by being a better husband!!! I will keep saying it. He is THE Husband. World's Most Husband

"Why don't we go on a date?" HEE HEE

Puzzling that Yor thinks she hasn't been on a date though, when I can think of at least three dates so far (party-grenade-proposal date, lunch date, and drinks-and-reassurance date)

"I can't leave Anya alone at home, and this is a very important mission to ensure that we remain one happy family." It seems Loid has learned from the spy transmission debacle

"Last night, I came up with 862 date plans to ensure that Yor has fun." He's insane. I want to give him a leetle kiss

HAHAHAHA Franky being absolutely thrilled to bother Loid and Yor on their date. What a friendship 💕

Intriguing that Anya's telepathy has a distance limit. Tell me more!

Honestly, Yor having to position herself in a specific way to avoid pain is relatable. We love a chronic pain queen

"This woman had built up an immunity to poisons." HAHAHAHAHA the poison fixing Yor's pain. Sometimes, drinking does solve your problems!

LMAOOOO them censoring the bomb components. A real "don't try this at home" moment

NOT THE BABY MAKING THE BOMB. ANYA PLEASE

"I'm going to forget all this and live a normal life." Perfect. Forgers reforming their enemies left and right

"If it's not too much trouble, please invite me out again sometime." Never let being married stand in the way of your husband becoming your boyfriend 🥰

SCREAM at Bond's perception of what Loid does for work. I guess he's closer to the truth than most:

"Are you trying to do this for your... no. Are you trying to get revenge for your friends who were experimented on?" HAHAHA is Loid blushing because he wants to call himself his dog's dad?

FBKFJHFFHKJHF Loid taking on Bond as his mission back-up. He truly can be swayed so easily

WHERE DID LOID GET A DOG-SIZED SKI MASK AHHAHAHA

I love the giant puppy spy sidekick, employ this dog ASAP

"While they're busy playing, I'm going to work hard to get to the top," said Damian Desmond, Six Years Old, for whom The Top was beating all the other little bougie first graders

"Your friendship... preciously elegant." Me whenever I finish hanging out with my friends

I love that Henderson-sensei sends the kids out on a picnic as a punishment. He really is as silly as he is strict

I don't know if this is a vegetarian thing or a cultural thing but it always seems wild to me how people in anime bite into fish, scales and all

"Did you know that the most recent studies in neuroscience suggest that your brain feels really revitalized when you're spacing out?" I like Mr. Green, Grizzled Navy Custodian, too

HAHA Damian trying his hardest to space out. Me when people tell me to practice mindfulness

"Oh, you don't [have a goal], eh? That's perfectly fine!" "Actually, I want to live my life eating lots of snacks." "Splendid! You'll have to think earnestly about how to make that possible." I take it back, I LOVE MR. GREEN

Ready to sob about this field trip actually. AHHHHHHH:

"Good evening, Mr. Vile Trash." ACAB; All Cops are (Weird) Brothers

"What's so wrong about trying to improve the country my family lives in?" Nothing but the hostile, paternalistic nationalism of a Cold War, Frank Perkin, Newspaper Sensationalist and Adult Bully of Wealthy Children

"I'll request that your father gets some financial aid to get by." I feel like that will not make up for imprisoning his son, Yuri, but whatever helps you sleep

"Blech." That's also how I feel about Weird Brother Yuri, Anya

"Revenge will only make you sadder. I'll make you forget about all that with my love." This is the plot of Naruto

Honestly, I was super sold on the Bondman Polycule when it was just him, his spy partner Agent M, and the enemy spy lady who had all linked arms together. I feel like this could work:

"How was anything he did gentlemanly?" Loid said: I'm a one-woman kind of spy

"Lord Damian, how could you possibly pick the joker there." "Shut up!' [Internally] She's so unfair... Damn it! I like to believe Loid might approve of Damian's crush purely because he is also willing to do whatever Anya wants if she makes one (1) sad face

Poor Anya. She's really most suited to using her street smarts

"Garden? The group of assassins who have been in this country for ages? They're basically urban legends, aren't they?" FINALLY we're finding out more about Yor's job!! They do in fact seem at cross purposes with the spies

[Loid already walking away] "He's such a heartless jerk." I bet you $5 he has already decided to help Franky LMAO

Update from 8 min later: Alright, I owe you $5, he didn't care

"Am I normal?! Oh, thank goodness!" said Yor excitedly, as if that were not a moderately suspicious response to being called normal

Excited for an ep with no double-barreled title. Plot progression!

I truly don't know where this falls on the spectrum of ways that anime will depict black and brown characters LMAO. Like Donovan Desmond, the Shopkeeper has an extremely haunting aura:

"You will be providing protection on this mission." Oooooh, change of pace!

"Is there actually any reason why I should continue my job as a killer?" A question every assassin should ask themselves, I think

"HQ may or may not be trying to cut back on our shady overtime practices." Incredible. I can't believe even the underground spy agency has PTO. I wonder who regulates spy labour law

"If not for this bodyguard job, the three of us could've enjoyed this vacation together." AWWW Yor loves her family so much

"You can say this is a gangster's destiny." [Reba voice] A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid never stops!

"Papa! We need to hurry up and explore the ship before it sinks!" "It's not going to sink! Stop scaring everyone." The fact the staircase looks distinctly modelled after that one scene from Titanic really sells Anya's point

Loid incapable of framing having fun as anything but a mission ljggkjgj truly he might benefit from a Real Psychologist

"That family's just for camoflauge, right?" "Yes, you're right... Is... that true?" I love Yor slowly admitting that she loves her family for their own sake 💗

As Yor was declaring doing her best, I did worry briefly that someone was going to [redact] Olka. Other anime have been less kind to me than Spy x Family

I love Yor making another mum friend in Olka 💞 Gal pals

Finally saying suspicious things in public has a consequence!!

"It's been a while since we've had dinner without Mama." "Yeah, it's a bit lonely." Hee hee, Loid misses his wife

I love the immediate transformation in Yor's face as soon as Olka/Shaty says she didn't order room service

I don't have much to say but I am really entranced by the assassin vs. assassin + informant goings on!!

"I may not look it, but I'm a married woman, so I'll have to decline." Absolutely loving Yor quietly and efficiently beating these hitmen unconscious as she passes through the cruise ship

"Which is it?! Would normal parents buy their child something in this situation or not?!" Loid is incapable of making a decision without thinking about how it looks in relation to him being a spy. Anxiety king

[In Anya's mind] "Yor! You're an assasin who hates frogs? Let's get a divorce. The Forgers are done." Like father, like anxiety-ridden daughter

"I am a normal father. A good father," said Loid, which is frankly not usually something a good or normal father would say

"Papa, you're not excited at all." Loid defeated by one (1) six-year-old's piercingly accurate psychoanalysis

Loid is facing a true Psychological Battle: The Fitting Room

Anya Ultimate Wingman Award for convincing everyone her mum's battle is actually a circus act

Awwww, Zeb, Fake Husband to Olka, likes her. I hope this is a healthy experience in Yor seeing other fake couples work it out, but I do also think Zeb could mega-die

"As long we people continue to be people, conflict will never end." Alright, Director Doomsday, calm down

"What am I? What am I doing this for?" [B Eilish voice] What was I made foooooor?

"Does she hate me? Or is she just going through a rebellious phase?" Loid whenever one of the Forger girls looks upset: THIS MUST BE MY FAULT SOMEHOW

A hasty and confident NO to Assassin Sniff's whole vibes

We interrupt this program to think about how cute Loid and Anya are!! I love Loid entertaining Anya and also supporting her while he thinks she's missing Yor

"Nice, Mr. Husband!" Oh good, we love a bulletproof vest for Zeb!

Truly a wild juxtaposition of Forger Family Fireworks Night:

"This might be a bit late to ask, but would you consider just peacefully going home?" I love you, Compassionate Combat

I'm having a hard time believing all this will happen without Loid eventually noticing; the fireworks are long gone. I actually do hope Loid crashes her battle, Director Doomsday is out cold

"I'm doing this to support my family.... wait. I guess I am also doing this for money. But... no, I make enough to survive now. I'm hunting down bad guys for my country! For my country? Have I always been so righteous? What am I doing this for?" Poor Yor, this is like the worst possible time for an existential crisis

YOR AND LOID BOTH BEING MOTIVATED BY THEIR DESIRE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘

[In Yor's flashback] "Be it for someone else, or for a specific reason, having to endure a merciless job... That's something to be very proud of." I'm sure Loid will acknowledge me. He'll forgive me. I like to think so too, Yor!!

Never mind to Loid helping Yor out, he is busy disarming a bomb threatening to sink them. This truly is the Titanic LMAO

LGLHGLGJHGLJHG Anya accidentally tripping the assassins so they shoot each other. Like mother, like daughter 💖

"You'll be able to enjoy the symphony of agonized screams and roars coming through the wiretaps on this ship." I can't wait for Loid to sink this guy with his own clock-bomb

Update from 30 seconds later: See? Self-owned and sunk

Awwwww Yor really does deserve the baby hug after the day she's had:

"I pray that, someday, you and your family will be able to find true peace." OLKAAAA

"I know it was an emergency, but I ended up casting my family aside again." Loid and Yor having the same crisis about whether to prioritize their family or their jobs 🥺🥺🥺

Loid's blush at Yor catching him skipping as he continues to skip over in her direction. Hee hee

"I hope peaceful days like this will continue forever." ME TOO, YOR!

Get you a mum who would secretly beat up sharks for you ❤️‍🩹

Setting aside how fun snorkeling is, absolutely terrible idea to go into the ocean with an open wound OMG

Loid carrying his whole family is the cutest thing I've ever seen, 10 bajilion/10zo; perfect:

[Internally] "You did a great job." Loid is in loooooove

"I can never tell if he's actually clever, or clumsy." Me either, Handler

Anya learning about the vacation disparity of rich kids LMAO

"If youre going to create a persona for yourself, you need to be strategic and commit." Not Loid turning this lie lecture into a spy lecture in his mind

"Lying is too much work, so I'll try not to do it anymore." Anya's entire set of adult role models do nothing but lie all the time, she really has no frame of reference for honesty

I do a little bit hate the Becky fantasizing about Loid thing, I have been Cardcaptor Sakura'd too much in life

NOT ANYA SELLING OUT HER MUM FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF BECKY BEING HER RICH SIX-YEAR-OLD STEPMUM OH MY GOD

I feel like they take a lot of liberties in translating "Loid-sama" as "my precious Loid" but hey, he is precious

"Yor's going to get the wrong idea, somehow." Loid has finally registered that this child is obsessed with him and he is only concerned for wife not thinking he's a freak. A good husband above all else

"I really don't understand the children of rich people." Me either, Loid

I need you to see Loid's face as Becky declares that this is his expression of love for Yor:

"Your heart is as vast as the sky, and you're stronger than the earth itself. You're the perfect lady." Correct, Becky! Yor is amazing

"I had some extra souvenirs left after handing them out to everyone else. Do you want them?" LMAO @ the implication being lost on Fiona that he doesn't even think of her enough to warrant her own souvenir

I will say, I really do resonate with the theme of the ep being Loid is Hot and Amazing to Everyone But No One Will Ever Measure Up to Yor in His Eyes

"Maybe you're too nice, and biting and barking don't really suit you." Everyone in the Forger family is too nice for their job, including Bond Forger, Precognitive Puppy

Awwww Bond trying to help out all the humans with his visions

LNKFHKFHKJFH Loid really just got reprimanded by his dog

"And he went into save [Daisy the puppy]? What an impressive dog!" I love the Spy Dad-Psychic Puppy tag-team ❤️

[Internally] "I am a cool-headed spy. I cannot let my emotions show." Loid remains deadpan through SO many things but his dog looking a little funny while wet is his limit. What a man!

"Don't push yourself too hard. There's someone waiting back home who would be sad if you died." 1) V sweet, dad first, hero second. And 2) This is the second time Loid has directly spoken to his life situation with a simultaneous thinly-veined dog metaphor

WAHHHHHHH Loid and Bond's heroics being acknowledged by Anya giving them little paper Stellas:

Yor immediately joining in and congratulating them for their hard work on their walk!!! I LOVE ONE (1) SPY X FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S A NICE SHOW

[cult-of-the-eye]

LEMME HEAR YOUR UNHINGED TMA RANTS! <3

Oooh I think I've already posted a lot of my rants but one of the characters who I haven't really had a whole rant on is Martin K blackwood.

THIS MAN. This man is so wonderfully written. A lot of characterisations of the "nice one" are quite flat and don't really expand much on them being nice apart from maybe giving the person low self esteem. What I love about Martin is how masterfully it uses that sort of prototype of a character and makes it much more gut wrenching and relatable. He starts off as sort of the office dunce from Jon's pov, which early on we also realise is unreliable. He's the bumbling idiot, the sweet fool and I get it. As a fat person, I feel like a lot of us feel pressured to be the comic relief or to put it more precisely, the one to be laughed at. And he's seen the gap in the archives, he's seen that role that needs to be filled and he's easily filled it. When you have the group of Tim and Sasha and then Jon, the only thing that could unite them is mutual awkward laughter towards Martin. And Martin is used to seeing what's there and filling the gaps, man is a people pleaser to a fault, he has had to guess what his mum didn't like about him and change accordingly, getting it wrong every time. He makes himself palatable which is so REAL especially for a fat person and/or traumatised people.

And then we see this more calculating side of him. He LIED to all his colleagues and his BOSS about a qualification to get a job and then kept that lie going for at least a couple of months. Listen, I don't think it's fair to label Martin as completely a manipulative calculating guy who's just put on a mask but it's also not exactly fair to characterise him as just a sweet, tea making guy who wears jumpers. And that's what I love about him. He's so complex. I feel like it delves into the idea of having both a saviour complex as well as an inferiority complex. He's had to make choices that are above his skillset early in his life and frequently, he's been blamed for causing other people's emotions so he naturally thinks he has control over how other people feel. Which gives him that sense of responsibility, like I can save anyone cause I can control their emotions, if I'm nice enough then they won't be mad/ill/sad/they'll love me. But at the same time, these sort of underhand methods of indirect communication don't resonate to him as causing any damage cause he doesn't actually think he's important enough to cause damage or have an impact on other people's lives

I don't think it's of any shock to anyone that my favourite Martin is angry Martin. It's the part that fights against both aspects of this inferiority/saviour complex because it 1. Is a path of direct communication. He has the opportunity to state exactly how he is feeling and the focus is on that rather than how can I get the other person to respond. 2. It recognises that he is important. Anger is in response to perceived injustice, frustration, annoyance and all of those things are in a way, self preserving. Obviously it's not good to do that too much (see: Tim Stoker) but there you go. I'm not saying angry Martin is perfect or anything but I'm saying that it's so satisfying and interesting to see cause it completely goes against the characterisation we've been given so far and it introduces a whole new facet to Martin - that he doesn't want to be ruled by his trauma and past experiences.

It's honestly a joy to see Martin develop into someone who fights more against the role he's been "given" while simultaneously playing into it. His whole Peter Lukas arc is very much a part of that. Essentially he's saying I'm not important enough to contribute the way you are (inferiority) but I'm still going to try and control things behind the scenes (saviour). So when Jon goes to save him it breaks that, he looks him in the eyes and tells him you, Martin K Blackwood are Important, you make an impact and you Mean Something. You don't have to save us all. It's such an important part of his character arc and honestly it blows me away every time I think about it.

Plus obviously the whole isolation thing is just so AGH it's just so built in to his character it makes complete sense that he has a tendency to isolate himself. It fulfills both the inferiority and saviour - he doesn't think he's important enough to be missed but also he feels like it'll push them into missing him. Solving the problem and putting himself down in one fell swoop.

Our final stage of Martin is one that is far from perfect, far from healed but absolutely closer than he was at the beginning. He shows more of himself, in working towards realising he makes an impact on people, telling jokes and just sharing his thoughts to Jon. So what does him stabbing Jon mean for this? Honestly I'm not entirely sure (I'm gonna be honest I did not realise this rant would be so long lol) but I'm thinking along the lines of this is an ultimate show of acceptance of his significance and rejection of his need to save people. He is committing the most direct act of all, he's doing this in the same need to help people but instead of being manipulative about it, he's just directly doing what needs to be done. But also he's not saving Jon, he's doing the complete opposite. He couldn't control Jon's response to the situation, as much as he wanted to, so he did what jon wanted. I might not be explaining this right cause I'm not entirely sure what I mean either but I'm trying to say it's a poetic end. It's separate from everything he was but in a way that's parallel to and pays homage to his struggles. He's still being sort of a saviour and he's still arguably not the most important person in this scenario but the point is that it's in a different way than he's used to. In my opinion, a better way.

Anyway yeah thank you for enabling me, I didn't know how much I needed this rant and I didn't know I had so much to say lol. <3

[chaifootsteps]

I think the other HB Take I've grown to dislike the most is

'When Via realizes what her father sacrificed for her, she'll be so thankful / sorry for doubting him!!'

and like, no?? no she shouldn't be?

it was never her decision for her parents to stay together all that time, they made that choice themselves. The kid is not responsible for what the adults are doing. The show pulling a "Stolas got hurt for her sake so she needs to be grateful for that when Stolas is the one who made the choice to do it" is lousy logic, imo. It's blaming Via for being too young to know what was going on and expecting her to answer for her parents' choices & actions

not to mention It's made very clear that all the fighting after Stolas cheated is making her home life miserable. Anyone who's been between two warring parents will tell you how much it sucks

and also like - maybe the show wants to frame it that Stolas gave her a 'normal life' but the show is wrong about that, gonna be blunt

nothing about the Goetia's home life was ever 'normal'. Stella & Stolas never wanted to marry. they never wanted a child together. Everything about their life was artificial from the get-go and doomed to failure, especially since Stella presumably never even put in the effort to playact 'happy families' once Via was born

and like, the show has written Stella to be so comically evil that she threw Still Not Divorced parties in their house, where Via was living, that she advertised in the newspaper. Via would have to be pretty checked out to not notice that Stella and Stolas can't stand one another. Kids aren't dumb about that kind of thing, they will notice. And given Stella does nothing but screech/insult Stolas every time she's onscreen (and it's implied she's physically abused him before), if Stolas actually cared about Via's wellbeing he'd want her far away from Stella. This self-martyring routine of his makes no sense.

On some level a lot of people judge parents irl for staying with abusive partners if they're subjecting a child to that environment, too, and that's with the understanding the parent loved/still loves the abuser on some level. Stolas never loved Stella. Why is he subjecting Via to her, especially when he's the one who's a prince and could easily have her thrown out of the palace?

it makes the shows' determination to never show what the dynamic between Stella and Via is even more frustrating, because if they did get one it would at least lend some credence to Stolas' 'I thought there was some benefit to us staying together for Via's sake' routine. if she has a relationship with her mother then it makes some sense, even if that relationship is strained at times. but the writers are terrified of giving Stella any dimension at all so I'd bet good money we won't even see them exchange a single line of dialogue by the end of s2 (unless it's for Via to be manipulated by her, since she needs to be the world's biggest dummy so Stolas can cry some more)

(also like, sidenote that's just been annoying me personally - why would a Hell noble be so hung up on the notion of having a nuclear family? he's royalty. he can easily afford to raise Via alone. what are the normative values of Hell, exactly?? why would anyone care if Stolas gets a divorce? why can't the show clearly indicate what is and isn't expected of royalty in terms of upkeep of behavior and reputation?)

(also also, if Stolas was written to be deluding himself about what he did being good for Via then this could be interesting. but I doubt they're gonna go there with the creator's pet he's turned into in s2)

She probably will end up running back to Stolas, apologizing and expressing her gratitude for anything. Because that's the kind of show this is and that's the kind of writer Viv is.

[porphyriosao3]

Day 1 - The Mountain

The sun was 'setting' on a dismal grey day. Presumably setting at least, an onlooker might think, because far in the west, a marginally brighter spot low on the cloud covered horizon marked the only indicator that the night had not yet officially fallen.  The dull ashen light barely showed a long train of wagons and footsore dwarves walking through the scrubby bushes and tall grass on the eaves of the Greenwood.

"D'you think they know we're coming?  The miners?" Bulfi whispered to the king, his voice pitched low.  The last thing they needed was to give the group any new worries.  The warriors on the outside of the group were already wary from repeated orc attacks, and what they would find when they arrived... remained to be seen.  The old advisor worried about everything, but Thrain thought he wasn't wrong in this.  Not at all.  He thanked Mahal every day that the old dwarf had made it out.  Just the thought of surviving without him sent a chill up his spine.

"I sent a raven," the king said, repeating his answer to the question he had given easily a dozen times before.  "Surely it got through..."  Bulfi's grim face reflected his own.  They had no word in response.  Mahal's own fires, the king thought sourly, what am I supposed to say?  What am I supposed to do?

"Well, I suppose we'll see soon enough," was Bulfi's response.  He glanced around at the distant, brassy cries of a tiny pebble, furious at, well, everything.  The state of the world. I can't blame you, child, Thrain thought.  I feel the same, the very same.  He only hoped the sound didn't set the other children crying; such a noise would be like catnip to the orcs that occasionally hunted these lands from the Grey Mountains to the north. 

They had been on the road for weeks from the ruin of Khazad-Dûm.  No time to gather more than the bare necessities; pure luck they had any more than the clothes on their backs, really.  Thrain's father had run into the depths to face that... thing... that had killed his grandfather.  Needless to say, and to the shock of no-one, he had not returned.  Thrain himself had taken the sensible route, though it made him heartsick. Instead of going with his father into a heroic death, he chose pragmatism. He rallied what dwarves he could find on the first deep, soldiers, civilians, everyone in the great city he passed. He put people to work to amass what food and materiel could be gathered, arm and call up the soldiers on duty, and arrange their hurried departure.  Departure.  He snorted in miserable amusement, making Bulfi glance over before turning his gaze back to his own sore feet.  Flight, more like.  Rout, if he was honest. Right now he was too tired and heartsick to feel shame, but he knew he would one day.

The distant mountain loomed on the horizon as it had the previous day, and the day before that.  It thrust up from the land below like a fist; mirroring the fury and rebellion against the recent events in Thrain's own heart. Imaginings of revenge and such impossibilities aside, though, they had to arrive before they could plan anything. Even dwarves could only move so fast. 

Despite being the king he'd already given up his own seat on the royal wagon to a pregnant dam.  He was far too young to be king, but that was his title, despite feeling regal as the muck beneath the wheels of the wagons. Old Bulfi had made the same gesture, though Thrain wished he hadn't. Children were the most important, yes, but without his advisor's guidance he would be so lost he might make an even worse muddle than he had.  Mahal grant that the dams bear safely once they reached refuge; it was hard enough for their women to bear when home and safe, and this... Mahal grant that they even survived. 

Thrain was a dwarf surviving on hope.  He hoped that the mining colony was still there, ahead in the distant mountain lingering on the horizon.  He hoped that they wouldn't think this was an attacking host.  He hoped that the elves of that bloody great forest wouldn't take exception to the tattered remnants of three of the great clans of the dwarves staggering past their doorstep.  Most of all, he hoped that the mountain ahead was a place of safety. Erebor, the elves called it.  The mountain ahead was all they had left.

[kissesforsatoru]

WAS IT A GENERAL YAN WAKA HC- IF SO YES BUF ALSO IF UOU ASK WHICH WAKA SPEFCICALLY BD WAKA BD BUT YOU CAN DO ALL TIMELINES

pairings : wakasa x gn!reader

summary : general yan! bd! waka hc's

⤷ cw : NSFW 18+, general yandere themes, possessiveness/obsessiveness, manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, bullying, mind break, overstim, cock warming, unhealthy relationships.

notes : i got so carried away with this, this might just be my longest hc's yet 😭

- wakasa wouldn’t necessarily be yandere right away, i don’t think; instead, he’d actually be pretty normal with you at first. you know, treat you right and all that other good stuff. the only thing off about him in the beginning is how possessive he is. he can get carried away with love bites and keep sucking sensually on your skin even as you whine for him to stop 'cause that hurts, but he’ll just pop off your neck with a lazy smile and tell you he’s sorry (he’s not). or he’ll glare intensely at guys and girls that got too close to you, all while keeping his arms tightly around your waist. but you think to yourself that it’s not that bad—that’s his only flaw, so it’s okay, right? wrong. sooo wrong.

- with him it’s a slow build, where the longer the relationship between the two of you goes on, the more his red flags start to show, but even when they do, you won’t notice them. wakasa is a very manipulative yandere, and he’ll subtly condition you to think that what he’s doing is normal or that you’re being irrational for lashing out at him. he keeps you nice and wrapped around his finger from the very beginning, making sure that you will listen to him no matter what he does.

- the first really big yandere-like thing he does is isolate you. he’ll tell you he doesn’t like your friends because they’re too touchy or they’re not good for you, he’ll tell you that your family is too controlling and that you should cut them off for continuously meddling in your relationship. you might not notice wakas red flags, but your friends and family certainly do, and they aren’t just going to sit back and let you fall deeper into a toxic relationship, but waka is quick to get them out of your life. he’ll tell you that you don’t need them anyway because you have him—he’s the only one you need, that you’ll ever need. he can take care of you, provide for you, support you, and love you far better than any of them ever could so just forget about them.

- waka is very stalker-ish despite the fact that you’re already his. he’ll have a tracker on your phone so he can know where you are at all times, he’ll have cameras in your apartment so he can know what you’re doing and who comes over, and when you move to his apartment, he’ll put cameras there too. waka will also make multiple social media accounts that he’ll mostly use to stalk you with, but he’ll also use them to rile you up and say vile things to you, spread rumors about you, i'm talking hard core bully you until your self-confidence and sense of self-worth are absolutely destroyed, all so he can have you for himself. he wants to be the only one you trust, the only one you think can properly love you since everyone else seems to think that you're disgusting and unlovable. of course, you don't know about any of this, waka is very secretive about it, so you never find out.

- with how much bullying he puts you through, waka is able to blame his possessiveness on protectiveness instead, telling you that he has to keep everyone away from you so you don't get hurt anymore, and obviously you're going to believe him because he's the only one you can trust. he'll tell you never to leave the house without him unless you absolutely have to, and if you do then you have to tell him where you're going and why you can't wait for him to go with you. he'll keep your neck nice and marked up for when the two of you do go out together so other people get the hint. he's never too far away from you anyway, at least an arm's reach away at all times so he can easily grab onto you whenever he wants. he also constantly reminds you that you're his, and that he's the only one who can love you properly, nobody else will ever be able to compare to him. and if you ever doubt him, he'll just bully you even more to remind you that he's all you'll ever have.

"you're mine, baby. nobody else can take care of you like i do."

"you don't need anyone else, they'll just use you or hurt you, so keep relying on only me, yeah? i'll treat you right like you deserve."

- waka has a lot of experience with sex. he knows all the right places to make someone absolutely writhe and scream under him, but he especially knows how to make you feel good. whether he's using his tongue, fingers, or his cock, it doesn't matter, you'll be seeing stars either way. i don't see waka being the kind of guy that praises a lot during sex, he's much dirtier with his words and likes to tease more than anything else, but if his darling is especially broken by all the bullying, he might just whisper praises in your ear as he fucks you. he shows you his love through his actions, makes you feel good with light kisses all over your body, and all-consuming, sloppy kisses to your pretty mouth. his hands explore your body fervently, rubbing on your most sensitive parts to draw out delicious reactions from you—he adores the sound of your whimpers and moans, absolutely eats them up no matter how many times he hears them. i don't know why, but i feel like he'd like to please you more than he likes for you to please him. i think he might just get more of a kick out of knowing he's pleasing you well, and he does please you well. of course, he loves to fuck you rough and use you however he likes to get off still, but seeing you all jumpy and touch sensitive after he's sucked on you for a while just turns him on like nothing else.

"oh, right there? you like that? does my baby want me to go faster? aw, poor thing. shh, i'll take care of you."

"just lay down, baby. i know you'll feel much better after i fuck you."

- waka takes to sexual punishments more than other kinds of punishments. if you act out, he sees it as you just wanting his attention, so he fucks you to set you straight. overstim is his favorite punishment, i think, because he'll fuck you so dumb you just forget about defying him, all you'll be able to think about is his cock and how good he makes you feel. otherwise, he'll make you either cock warm him or fuck yourself on his thigh as punishment. he'll wait till you're wiggling desperately on him, trying to find a release, and then he'll make you beg him to fuck you. shows you that you can't do anything without him, that you need him to do even the littlest things like please yourself.

- if you do something really bad, like try to break up with him or anything like that, then he'll just lock you up somewhere in his house and leave you there. he won't talk to you or even look at you, he'll just drop off your food and leave again. he can do this for months. he wants to ensure that you won't ever try to do something like that again all while enforcing your dependency on him. isolation is the best way to make a person lose all independence, and waka takes complete advantage of that. he'll wait until you won't even be able to think of leaving him again without having a breakdown.

- honestly yan waka is just a sneaky bastard that uses extreme forms of manipulation to get what he wants, which is actually so terrifying. he's amongst the top scariest tokrev yans.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Mysterious Lotus Casebook - Ep 40 (and bonus episode)

God, okay, here we go. I'm so anxious. I remember how Heroes ended and how much it broke me

I've come this far though so I guess let's do this even if it's going to hurt. I have a packet of tissues on standby just in case it all goes horribly wrong as I fear it will

Well, we're off to a good start. Li Lianhua is practicing his martial arts and imagining Di Feisheng is there with him. I'm definitely not crying less than 5 minutes in

It's okay though because Fang Duobing is there to take care of him and make sure he keeps warm 😭

Okay, I suspected he rigged the mechanisms to be easily seen and destroyed because Fang Duobing mentioned it but I didn't realise the whole thing was him trying to take down Jiao Liqiao from the inside. I feel bad(ish) for him now

Oh shit! Well, it wouldn't be Mysterious Lotus Casebook without one final (I hope) dramatic poisoning

I love that he just calls him Xiaobao in front of everyone now. Everyone clearly knows they're together.

God, he's about to do something stupid isn't he? I'm having Word of Honor flashbacks. GDI even I didn't clock that he was deliberately sending Fang Duobing away so he could do this

Oh fuck

I am sobbing

I do not understand these two at all. First of all I thought she left him when she ended their engagement (that I thought was a marriage - that whole wedding that wasn't a wedding was confusing), then I assumed she must have left him when she took the sect leader job from him. Apparently after all that they're still together??? But maybe they're breaking up for real this time?

I suppose Xiao Zijin is going to blame Li Lianhua for this too

I knew he was going to get free and leave before Fang Duobing got back 😭

FFS I was already crying and now Huli Jing is crying so I'm crying even more. I knew this was going to be sad but FUCK

He just rescued a trapped bird like a fucking Disney prince

I knew the 'recipe book' was going to be all his martial arts notes

FFS Xiao Zijin let it go! I swear to god if he kills Li Lianhua because Li Lianhua is half blind and ready to die I am throwing my laptop out the window

OH FUCK IS HE GOING TO DO IT HIMSELF?

Oh, I think he was talking to his sword

Well fuck.

Oh, he landed in the boat. Maybe he's okay? Let me have my denial!

It feels like forever ago but I think this dude was telling the story of Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng in the first episode. If he was that's a nice touch that we've circled back around and he's now telling stories about Li Lianhua

I have to laugh because the alternative is crying even more. But I love all these randos know that Di Feisheng is in love with Li Lianhua and they're acting like him not showing up at the beach is like jilting him at the altar (even though they're already married)

His stoic but clearly sad face 😭

Well he's still alive. At the moment at least.

I know he's talking about fighting, but he probably also talking about their relationship

I want to hug him

I'm fine 😭

Onto the bonus episode. This is either going to be hopeful or painful and I honestly have no idea which way it's going to go

Painful so far!

Well, that was very ambiguous so I'm choosing to believe they found him at the beach and are living happily ever after 😋

I did really enjoy that despite the pain. Thanks to everyone who has been yelling along with me in the comments and notes while I've been watching. This is why I enjoy liveblogging dramas