#he basically sacrificed everyone to ensure her safety
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gwandas · 8 months ago
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The whole “Tamlin never tried to get you out” thing really falls to pieces when you remember that he literally sent her back to the human lands and prioritized her safety over breaking the curse
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dixons-sunshine · 11 months ago
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Hazelnut | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
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Summary: Daryl didn’t know exactly what he expected when his group settled into Alexandria—maybe some snobby, incompetent inhabitants who couldn’t stand their ground if something were to happen or people who would turn on him and his group at any given moment, but definitely not a little girl who basically attached herself to his hip. And he definitely didn’t expect to find himself drawn to the mother of that little girl.
Genre: Fluff, angst but not a lot.
Era: Alexandria, pre Saviour war. (Timeline is kinda wonky. Saviours kinda don’t exist in this? I don’t really know.)
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death, child abandonment, mental abuse, mentions of drugs and alcohol, single parenthood, sexual content but not smut.
Word count: 8.1k.
A/n: This was such a cute idea that @louifaith had! I tried my best, but it honestly sucks. I’m not really happy with how this turned out, but I hope you like it! Also, definitely go check out @celtic-crossbow’s version! Pure perfection, honestly.
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“You have to lighten up, Daryl. How do you expect to make any friends with that ‘leave me alone’ attitude of yours?”
Daryl grumbled to himself as he continued tinkering with his crossbow. The hot late afternoon sun was relentlessly beating down on the community as its inhabitants continued about their tasks. Daryl had silently been observing everyone from the porch steps he was sitting on, enjoying the moment of solitude he had, but Carol had other ideas.
“Daryl,” Carol started, crossing her arms as she descended down the steps. She turned around to face Daryl, her voice stern. “It would do you good to socialize a bit.”
“I talked to Tobin when we finished up with the construction of the new walls yesterday,” Daryl replied nonchalantly, keeping his eyes focused on his crossbow instead of the stern woman in front of him.
“That doesn’t count. That’s work talk. I'm talking about actual socialising. Like, striking up a conversation with someone that isn’t in our group or someone you have to talk to for work.”
“I dun’ need to. Y’all are the only company I need. Ain’t gon’ waste my time tryna make buddies with people who dun’ even like me,” Daryl responded with a sense of finality, gripping his crossbow and getting up. “Now get off my back, woman.”
“Where are you going?” Carol called after him, watching the archer walk away from the house.
“Somewhere,” he replied shortly, ending the conversation effectively.
Slightly irritated, Daryl walked with no particular destination in mind. He passed by some people who sent him friendly greetings and small waves, which he returned half-heartedly. After a while of mindlessly walking about, Daryl stopped in front of a makeshift park of sorts. It was a small area surrounded by grass and had a big tree towards the edge. He moved to sit on the grass underneath the shade of the tree. The few kids in the community loved to play in this area, but it was deserted for now; the perfect place for the archer to relax for a while.
Daryl went about sharpening his knife for a while. The mediocre task kept his mind busy, busy enough to ignore the parents and kids who arrived, busy enough to ignore the wary stares the parents threw his way. Daryl simply shook his head—even after two months, there were still people who were wary of him and the rest of his group. Even after everything they did and sacrificed to ensure the community's safety.
“Mistah lonely?”
Startled, Daryl’s head shot up and his eyes locked with those of a little girl who looked no older than three years old. The girl looked at him with curiosity written all over her young face, eyeing the knife in the archer’s hands with wonder. She tentatively reached forward to touch the knife, her fingertips close to making contact with the cold metal of the dangerous weapon.
Daryl jerked the knife away and out of reach of the young girl. “Dun’ touch that,” he barked coldly, standing up to keep the knife out of the young girl’s reach.
“Sharp mife?” the girl questioned, moving closer towards the archer. She reached up to grab his arm, trying to reach the knife.
Daryl frowned at the girl. He gently pried his arm away from the girl’s grasp and took a step back, unnerved by the soft touch of the child’s hands. That didn't seem to deter the girl, however.
“Mistah use sharp mife?”
“Scram, kid. Go back to yer mama.”
“Mama?” the girl asked, her eyes lighting up at the mere mention of her mother. “Mama! Get Mama!”
“What? No, that ain’t—” Daryl started, but was abruptly cut off when the girl took off and ran as fast as her little legs could carry her, wobbling more like a penguin than anything else. Daryl raised his eyebrows as he watched the girl’s retreating figure, confused by the interaction he just had.
Well, he thought, at least that’s the end of that. However, as Daryl gathered his crossbow and sheathed his knife, he inwardly groaned at the sound of the little girl’s voice calling out to him.
“Mistah! Mama here!”
Daryl turned and looked at two approaching figures. The young girl was holding a woman’s hand, leading the woman over to him. The woman was laughing lightly, allowing herself to be pulled by the little girl.
“Come, Mama!” the little girl giggled, excitedly tugging your hand harder.
“Okay, okay! No need to rip my hand off,” you laughed, soon coming to a stop in front of Daryl.
Daryl looked at you with a frown, scowling slightly. His eyes darted between the excited little girl and you, slightly taken aback by the friendliness you radiated. Despite everything he had done for the community up until that point, only a few select Alexandrians—mainly Aaron and Eric—didn’t show him any contempt or wariness. Yet there you were, smiling up at him and looking as pretty as a picture.
“Mama,” the little girl excitedly told him, pointing up to you. She smiled at you, dimples forming on her chubby cheeks.
Well, the kid certainly knew how to follow orders. He had told her to go get her mama, and there you were.
“I'm Y/N. You must be Daryl?” You introduced yourself, extending your hand for a handshake.
Daryl looked at your hand, not moving to take it. However, just as you were about to lower your hand awkwardly at his dismissal, the little girl stepped forward.
“Like this, mistah,” she instructed, taking the archer’s hand and putting it in yours.
Daryl flinched at the contact and quickly withdrew his hand, looking at the little girl with a small frown. He looked back at you, chewing on his bottom lip nervously.
This was the worst random social situation he’d ever been in.
“Sorry,” you apologized, giving him a sheepish smile before turning back to your daughter. “Hazel, we don’t touch people unless they say we can, alright?”
“Sorry, Mama,” Hazel apologized half-heartedly, not fully understanding what you were saying. She turned back to look at Daryl. “Sorry, Dar.”
“Daryl,” the archer corrected her with a gruff tone of voice, talking for the first time since you had approached him.
Hazel looked up at him in confusion. “Dar,” she repeated herself, a look of concentration on her face.
“No, ‘s—nevermind. Forget it,” Daryl grumbled, shifting his weight from his one leg to the other. He looked back to you again and noticed how awkward you looked, your lips pursed as you avoided his eyes.
“Sorry. She has trouble with pronouncing some words and names. I’m working on helping her with that,” you explained, your body language exuding a challenging aura, as if daring him to insult your daughter for something as miniscule as not being able to pronounce a name.
Daryl noticed the defensive tone in your voice and noticed your defensive stature, making him raise his eyebrows questioningly, yet he refrained from questioning why. “S’alrigh’,” he mumbled, awkwardly fiddling with his crossbow that was slung over his shoulder.
“Okay,” you said, gathering Hazel up into your arms. “Well, it was nice meeting you, but I have to get going. I have to get this gremlin ready for dinner. Sorry for bothering you.”
With that, you turned around and retreated back towards the houses, Hazel happily babbling in your arms. Daryl watched your retreating figure with a sense of uneasiness. In that short interaction, he found himself unexplainably drawn to you. He didn't know you, but some part of him wanted to get to know you.
However, as quickly as that thought entered his mind, he just as quickly disregarded it. He didn’t need to get attached to any more people, especially people who couldn’t protect themselves in this harsh world they were forced to live in. In the end, everyone he cared about died or left, so it was better to spare himself the inevitable pain and keep you and your daughter at an arm’s length.
Something told him that it would be easier said than done, however.
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The next morning, Daryl found himself working alongside Aaron. The two of them were busy carrying large pieces of metal to the wall they were busy fortifying, Aaron making casual small talk while Daryl simply hummed in acknowledgement. Once the last piece of metal was added to the already existing pile, the two men wiped the sweat from their foreheads and took a drink of water, before walking over to Aaron’s house. Aaron took a seat on the porch steps while Daryl remained standing on the grass.
“So yeah, that’s how I met Eric,” Aaron told him, concluding his long and winded tale.
“Story straight out a damn romance novel,” Daryl replied sarcastically, eliciting a laugh from Aaron.
“Yeah, yeah. Make fun of it all you want. Everyone always does.”
“Nah, s’a good story. Pretty cliche with the whole spillin’ yer coffee on his shirt bit, but s’still a good story,” Daryl reassured him. “Now c’mon, didn’t ya say somethin’ ‘bout havin’ a part for my bike?”
“Dar!”
As if materializing out of thin air, Hazel excitedly bounded down the porch steps of Aaron’s home and threw herself against Daryl, clinging to his leg in a hug. Caught off guard, Daryl stumbled a bit but quickly regained his footing, his eyes darting down to look at Hazel. His eyebrows raised in surprise before he gently pried the girl from his legs, not used to any kid other than his little Asskicker clinging to him like that.
“Kid, what are ya doin’?” he questioned, taking a step back from her, but it was to no avail. Hazel simply smiled up at him before throwing herself at him again, clinging to his leg like a koala bear.
Aaron chuckled. “I see you’ve met Hazel. She’s quite the character, huh?”
“What’s she even doin’ here?”
“Eric asked to babysit her. He loves having her over, and her mom said yes.”
Hazel giggled against Daryl’s leg, turning her head to look at Aaron. “Hi, Rin!”
“Hey, Hazel,” Aaron chuckled fondly, sending the girl a small wave.
“Rin?” Daryl questioned, placing one of his big hands on the little girl’s head, accepting his fate of being clung to for the time being.
“She can’t say my name properly,” Aaron explained. “She has trouble with pronouncing things sometimes.”
“Yeah, her mama said somethin’ ‘bout that,” Daryl said without really thinking about it.
“So you’ve met her?” Aaron asked, leaning forward with slight interest. He had a small smirk on his face, one that Daryl couldn’t quite decipher.
“Briefly. Hazel practically dragged her over to meet me yesterday,” Daryl replied, looking down at Hazel when he felt her grip loosen on his leg.
Hazel looked up at him and raised her arms, looking at him expectantly. “Upsies,” she said, jumping slightly on her toes. “Dar, upsies!”
To his complete and utter surprise, Daryl found himself leaning down to pick her up. The act hadn’t even fully registered in his brain until the small girl was already in his arms, her small, chubby hands gripping at his shirt as she giggled. The small sound of her laughter made the archer’s heart fill with a sudden and unexpected fondness, completely taking him by surprise. It was the same type of fondness that filled his heart whenever he coaxed a laugh from little Judith, and yet it was completely different at the same time. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“She seems to like you, Daryl,” Aaron laughed, standing up from his position on the porch steps. “Not a lot of people can say that about her.”
“What do ya mean?” Daryl found himself questioning, confused entirely by the man’s revelation. From the limited interactions that the archer has had with the young girl up until that point, he naturally assumed that Hazel was that way with everyone. What would make him special enough to the little girl, who had just met him, to make her treat him differently than she would others?
Aaron motioned for Daryl to follow him into the house, and he obliged, silently entering the pristine house while still carrying Hazel in his arms. The girl took a great interest in his hair, playing with it to entertain herself.
“From what Y/N told us, she was with a group before she got here who treated her and Hazel horribly, and Hazel hasn’t fully regained her trust in adults yet,” Aaron explained.
Daryl frowned. “Badly, how?”
“She wouldn’t say, but it took forever for Eric and I to gain Hazel’s trust. We even tried to bribe her with candy but she wouldn’t budge. But she seems to trust you and you said you only met her yesterday?”
“Yeah. She approached me at that makeshift park the kids play at,” Daryl nodded, rubbing a hand over Hazel’s small back subconsciously, shifting her in his arms slightly.
“Then you’re definitely special, buddy. This kid doesn’t trust easily,” Aaron declared, sitting down on a chair in the dining room.
Daryl followed his lead, taking a seat across from him on a chair while still holding the small girl firmly in his arms. Hazel’s attention shifted from his hair to the loose threads on his sleeveless shirt, playing with them to keep herself occupied.
“They were with a group ‘fore this? How long have they been here?” Daryl questioned, interested in knowing more about you, although he didn’t know why.
“Yeah. Hazel and her mom haven’t been here all that long. I actually found them a couple of days, maybe a week, before I found you all. From what I know, Y/N and Hazel had been on their own for a while before I found them. Y/N almost killed me the first time we met. She thought I was gonna hurt them. It took me and Eric a while to convince her to come back with us, but even then she refused to let her guard down. She was kind of like Rick when we first met, except she didn't tie me up or force me to eat apple sauce.”
Daryl hummed, hissing slightly when he felt Hazel tug at his hair rather harshly. He brought one of his hands up to pry her hand away from his hair, subconsciously rubbing his thumb over her small fist. “That hurts,” he told her softly, surprising himself by the gentleness of his usually gruff voice.
“Sorry, Dar,” Hazel apologized half-heartedly. She yawned before laying her head down on his shoulder. She wrapped her small arms around his neck, nuzzling her head into the crook between his neck and shoulder.
Daryl felt his heart swell with fondness for the second time that day. He gently rubbed her back. From his experience with Judith, that small action could lull a small child into slumber, and he hoped that proved to be correct with Hazel.
“You’re good at that,” Aaron commented, a smile on his face as he watched that small interaction between the big, ‘scary’ man and the small, innocent child.
Daryl looked at him, confused by the look the man was sending him. “Good at what?” he inquired, genuinely curious.
“That,” Aaron repeated himself, motioning to Hazel. “Were you a dad before all of this?”
Daryl stiffened at the question. “Nah,” he shook his head, adjusting Hazel in his arms again. “Not the type’a guy who could’ve started a family back then.”
“And now?” Aaron asked, unaware of Daryl’s inner turmoil.
Daryl inhaled sharply. “To start a family, ya need a partner,” Daryl started, slightly rocking the small girl in his arms. “I ain’t got a partner, and there ain’t exactly women linin’ up to be with me, so kids ain’t somethin’ I see in my future.”
“It could still happen, you know? You might meet someone. Hell, you know what? I know you’ll meet someone.”
“A lot of confidence for somethin’ that most likely won’t ever happen,” Daryl grumbled.
“Never say never, Daryl,” Aaron replied, giving the man a small smirk. “Never say never.”
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“Mama! Mama!” Hazel called through the house, excitement evident in her voice.
You smiled at the sound of your daughter’s voice, glad to be able to see her again after a whole day of being alone in your small house. The sun was setting, the stars starting to twinkle in the sky and you were almost done with dinner. Eric had told you that he would bring Hazel back before sunset and you were starting to get worried, but thankfully she seemed to be okay.
You walked into the living room and hunched down to pick up the small girl that ran into your arms, hugging her tightly to you as you placed kisses all over her face. She giggled at the sensation and pulled back, grabbing your hand and excitedly pointing towards the door.
“Mama, Dar here,” she said, smiling widely before turning towards the door.
You followed her line of sight and locked eyes with the archer. You stood up and gave him an awkward smile, painfully aware of the awkward encounter you had with the man the day before. Daryl seemed to mirror your unease; he nervously shifted his weight from one leg to the other, ducking his head to avoid your gaze.
“I see that, Sweetheart,” you replied, keeping your eyes locked on the man before you.
“I played with Rin and Eric. Dar played too!” Hazel happily exclaimed, clapping her hands together in excitement as she looked up at Daryl in awe.
“Did he, now?” you asked rhetorically, marvelling at the sudden and unexpected change of character for the quiet man. Just the day before, he had shrugged Hazel off and seemed to want nothing to do with her, yet now your daughter was claiming that the huntsman had spent time with her that day. It didn’t make any sense whatsoever.
“Yeah! So fun!” Hazel laughed happily, waddling over to Daryl to seemingly hug his leg again.
Daryl, who had been hugged multiple times by the toddler that day, instinctively crouched down to have her hug his side instead of his leg. Hazel wrapped her small arms around him and nuzzled her head into his neck, and Daryl couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face. One day had been more than enough for him to grow fond of the small girl, and he cursed himself for letting his guard down enough for that to happen, but the damage was already done; that little girl had already wormed her way into his heart.
“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself,” you smiled at her, watching the interaction between the archer and your baby girl. “Baby, why don't you go get changed into your blue PJ’s, huh? You're a big girl now, right? Think you can get changed without Mama’s help?”
“Yeah!” she exclaimed happily, pulling away from the hug and giving Daryl a smile, dimples on full display. “Bye, Dar!”
“Bye, Hazel,” Daryl greeted her quietly, watching the girl waddle to the stairs and begin to climb them carefully. He then hesitantly shifted his attention to you, but instead of seeing that wariness he’d grown accustomed to other parents giving him, one that he expected you to give him after his encounter with you the day before, there was a look of curiosity and wonder in your eyes.
“Thanks for bringing her home,” you thanked him, offering the archer a small smile.
Daryl ducked his head. “Ain’t nothin’,” he replied, shaking his head.
“So, you spent the day with her?” you started, looking at him questioningly. “By the way you looked uncomfortable around her yesterday, I figured you’d avoid her at all costs.”
“I was spendin’ the day helpin’ Aaron. He invited me to his place ‘cause he had a part I needed for my bike and Hazel was there. She wouldn’t let go of me after she saw me,” Daryl explained, fiddling with his hands.
“So she basically forced you into spending time with her?” you asked with a small laugh, your eyes crinkling in amusement.
“Pretty much,” Daryl joked, his lips involuntarily twitching into a small smile.
You laughed lightly and Daryl chuckled softly, admiring the way your eyes seemingly sparkled. The dim light of the living room gave you a golden glow, and Daryl found himself admiring your beauty. The unnerving thought struck him at full force and he tried to shake that thought from his mind—he couldn’t let his mind go there. He wouldn’t let his mind go there. He had to keep you at an arm’s length. It was bad enough that Hazel had broke through his barrier in one measly day, so he couldn’t allow her mom to do the same, too. More attachments definitely wasn’t something the archer needed.
“Well, Hazel seems happy. I think you’ve just became her best friend, whether you like it or not,” you told him playfully.
“I have a feeling that I ain’t got much say in the matter.
“Nope,” you laughed. “But thank you. She hasn’t looked that happy in a long time.”
“Glad I could help,” Daryl replied, a small smile on his face. “Sorry for bein’ a dick yesterday.”
“It’s fine. We shouldn't have bothered you.”
“Ya weren’t botherin’ me. I jus’... Weren’t in a good mood, s’all. M’sorry.”
“Apology accepted.” You gave him a sweet smile before turning around. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
Daryl frowned in confusion but didn’t say anything. A few minutes passed until you reentered the living room, a lunchbox in your hand. You promptly handed it to him, and Daryl could feel the heat radiating off the bottom.
“What’s this?” he asked, giving you a questioning look.
“Stew. I made more than Hazel and I can finish, so I figured I’d give you some. And before you say anything, just take it. Consider it a thank you gift.”
Daryl pursed his lips but nodded, resisting the urge to deny your ‘gift’. “Thanks.”
“No problem at all,” you reassured him, looking up at him with a smile that made his heart flutter uncontrollably.
Daryl ducked his head, willing the blush on his face to go away. “I should get goin’,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes.
“I’ll walk you out,” you replied, making good of your promise by walking with him over to the door.
Daryl stepped out of your home and turned to you. He gave you a nod and turned to walk away, but stopped when he heard you speak up.
“I hope you realize that she isn’t gonna let you off the hook. You’re going to be stuck with her now. And my daughter and I are a package deal, so you’re going to be stuck with me, too.”
For some unknown reason, Daryl didn’t mind that thought at all.
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“Easy, Hazelnut. Ya dun’ wanna hurt yerself, do ya?”
The toddler giggled, her small hands toying with the arrow in her hands. “Sorry, Dar.”
Daryl smiled at the small girl, bringing one of his hands up to ruffle her hair, successfully coaxing another laugh from her. “I know ya are. Jus’ try to be more careful, alright? I dun’ want ya gettin’ hurt.”
“No boo-boos. Boo-boos hurt,” Hazel replied, gingerly handing the arrow back to the archer.
“They do,” Daryl agreed, taking the arrow from the girl. “That’s why ya gotta be careful, alright? Dun’ want anythin’ to happen to someone as sweet as ya, Hazelnut.”
Hazel giggled and nodded. “No boo-boos.”
“No boo-boos,” Daryl repeated, smiling fondly at the young girl.
Two months had passed since Daryl had initially met you and Hazel. In those two months, Daryl had found himself becoming intertwined with your lives, a constant presence for you and your daughter.
The archer hadn’t asked you what had happened to Hazel’s father yet, and he wondered when he could be permitted to ask something as personal as that. However, Daryl knew that there could only be two plausible explanations; either he was dead, or he willingly left. The huntsman really hoped it wasn’t the latter. No person should be left to raise a kid on their own.
However, as Daryl’s love for the young girl grew, so did his feelings for you. It got to the point where he had started wishing that he was Hazel’s dad, that he could’ve been there during your pregnancy and watched your belly grow. He would’ve worshipped your body and been there for you every step of the way. However, as much as he wanted that, that was a dream that couldn’t be a reality, so he settled on being Hazel's best friend instead. At least it meant being able to both bond with the little girl and simultaneously have an excuse to see you.
“The two of you look like you’re having fun. Mind if I join?”
Daryl’s head snapped up at the sound of your voice. His eyes met yours and his heart skipped a beat, that sweet smile of yours making butterflies swarm around in his stomach.
“Mama!” Hazel exclaimed happily, hurrying down the porch steps to fling herself into your arms.
You laughed, picking her up and placing a kiss on her forehead. You looked at Daryl and sent him a smile. “Hey, Daryl.”
“Hey,” he greeted you quietly, fiddling with the arrow in his hands.
“Mama, play with us!” Hazel giggled, wiggling in your arms to be put down.
You lowered her to the ground, watching her climb up the porch steps and clamber into Daryl’s lap. Daryl lowered the arrow and wrapped his arms around her, placing a small kiss to the side of her head. You smiled at the interaction, your heart speeding up against your will.
“I know what I just said, but I actually can’t, Baby. It’s time to go home. It’s dinner time,” you told her.
Hazel frowned and nuzzled her head into Daryl’s neck, a whimper building up in her throat. Instinctively, Daryl started rocking her back and forth, rubbing her small back and shushing her quietly.
“S’alright, dun’ cry. Ya will see me again tomorrow, alright?” he whispered into her ear, his heart breaking at the sound of her sniffles. When he felt her nod, he placed one final kiss to the side of her head before placing her back down. “Why dun’ ya go say bye to Jude?”
Hazel looked at you expectantly, and you nodded. “Go ahead, Baby. I’ll wait for you.”
Hazel ran into the house, leaving you and Daryl alone on the porch. The archer stood up and walked down to meet you on the grass, pushing his hands into his pockets as he looked at you through his hair. As you looked at him, it took all of your willpower to resist the urge to brush his hair out of his face and cup his cheek. Not trusting your own hands, you crossed your arms and looked up at the huntsman, giving him a small smile.
“This is the first time ya’ve come to pick her up. I usually bring her home. S’somethin’ wrong?” Daryl inquired, searching your eyes for an answer.
You shook your head. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just figured that I could come pick her up for a change. Spare you the walk back to my place.”
“It ain’t that far,” Daryl pointed out, motioning down the street. “Jus’ a couple’a houses down.”
“Yeah, I know, but...” you trailed off, unsure if you should lay your problems onto him.
“But what?” he questioned, suddenly on edge. Had you changed your mind about him? About him being around you and your daughter? He really hoped not.
You hesitated for a moment. “It’s nothing. Just some moms around the community who like to be judgy.”
“What are they sayin’?”
“That I'm a bad mom for not taking the time out of my day to pick up my own daughter. That I’m dumping my responsibilities onto other people. Just thought I’d start proving them wrong.”
“Hey, yer not a bad mom. I like bringin’ Hazel home at the end of the day. That way I know she’s safe.” He also liked it because it meant he got to see you being all domestic, hugging your daughter tightly and sending him beautiful smiles, inviting him to stay for dinner each time. He always declined, not wanting to be a burden, but your offer never waned.
You smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. Daryl instantly noticed it and placed one of his hands on your shoulder, taking you by surprise. His touch was surprisingly gentle, and your skin flushed where he touched you.
“Dun’ let ‘em convince ya that yer a bad mom. I ain’t never seen a better mom than ya. How many moms here can say that they kept their kid alive out there in the real world? That, despite everythin’, their kid came first and that they would kill for them?”
“How did you know I wasn’t here from the start?”
“Aaron told me he that found ya and Hazel on yer own not too long before he found us. The fact that ya kept her alive on yer own for that long proves to me that yer the best fuckin’ mom under the sun.”
You smiled at him and placed your hand over his that was still resting on your shoulder. “Thank you,” you whispered.
“No problem,” he replied, holding eye contact with you. His hand lingered on your shoulder for longer than necessary, and he gazed deep into your eyes.
Your heart sped up and stopped beating at the same time, noticing a shift in the archer’s emotions. However, before either of you could do anything else, Daryl snapped out of it and withdrew his hand, taking a step back.
You cleared your throat and ducked your head, your face heating up. Luckily, Hazel ran out at that moment and bounded down the stairs, throwing herself into Daryl’s side and clinging to his leg.
“Bye, Dar!”
Daryl pressed Hazel tightly to him. “Bye, Hazelnut.”
Hazel unwound her arms from around him and moved over to you, extending her arms to be picked up. You did just that, holding her tightly to you. You turned to Daryl and offered him a small smile.
“You know, my offer still stands. You could join us for dinner.”
Daryl was about to decline your offer again, but Hazel cut him off.
“Yes! Please, Dar!”
In that moment, Daryl found that he wouldn’t be able to say no this time around. He just would’t be able to. He gave you both a small smile and nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
You smiled broadly. “Great! Come on, then.”
“Dun’ I need to change?”
“No, you’re fine, don’t worry. You can come as is.”
“Alright,” Daryl nodded. “Let’s go.”
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“Could you maybe get Hazel settled into her highchair? I’ll be right out with the food.”
Daryl nodded and watched you retreat from the dining room into the kitchen before turning around. “Hazelnut!” he called, hearing the toddler’s footsteps come into the dining room.
Hazel stared up at the archer with a huge smile, her arms extended to be picked up. Daryl smiled softly at the girl and leaned down to pick her up, placing her in her highchair. Once he was sure that she was settled and wouldn’t fall out, he got settled in the chair next to her, listening to Hazel’s happy babbling.
Soon enough, you reentered the dining room with a pot of spaghetti and meatballs. The aroma of the meal made Daryl’s mouth practically water. The last time he’d eaten spaghetti was when Aaron had invited him, and that was a good couple of months ago at that point.
“It smells fuckin’ good,” Daryl complimented you without really thinking about his choice of words, and he instantly regretted not thinking about them beforehand.
“Fuck,” Hazel repeated happily, completely oblivious to the horrified look that spread over Daryl’s face, or the amused one that spread over yours.
“Nah, Hazelnut, dun’ say that. Dun’ ever say that,” he told her hurriedly, his heart beating faster at his mistake.
“Fuck,” Hazel giggled.
“No, I jus’ said—” Daryl started, shooting you a worried look. However, he calmed down when he saw your amused smile. “What’s so funny?”
“You,” you told him, laughing lightly while serving everyone some food. “Don’t look so worried. I’m not gonna bite your head off because of one little slip up. If I had a penny for every time I accidentally slipped up since she was born, I would’ve had enough money to be able to buy a yacht in the old world. You’re good, don’t worry.
“Okay, but we can’t have her goin’ ‘round sayin’ that, though,” Daryl replied, taking a deep breath to calm himself. You weren’t mad. Everything was fine.
“You’re right about that,” you started, turning to look at Hazel. “Baby, you can’t say fuck, okay? That word belongs to Daryl. Until he’s ready to share that word, you can’t say it, alright?”
“Okay, Mama,” Hazel replied, starting to eat her food rather messily.
Daryl chuckled softly at the girl before turning to his own food. He started eating as well, the flavours of the delicious meal melting on his tongue. He wanted to gulp it all down but he resisted the urge, instead eating with a delicacy he never knew existed in him.
The meal was mostly spent in silence, save for Hazel’s happy babbling and the occasional input from you or Daryl. Daryl did, however, sneak glances at you when you weren’t looking, admiring your beauty and the soft, loving, tender way you acknowledged your daughter and the tenderness you used when you wiped her face clean of the sauce.
Unbeknownst to the archer, you had also been sneaking glances at him. Admiring his gentleness with your daughter, the way his eyes softened and the quiet chuckles he would let out whenever Hazel did something amusing, or the small smiles he would send in your direction. It was amazing how important Daryl had become to you and Hazel in a span of a few months. The big, gruff, quiet man with a heart of gold, who had invaded your thoughts and your heart. It was both terrifying and thrilling to think about.
Your respective meals were soon finished. and Hazel’s eyes were beginning to droop. You noticed it and got up to take her out of her highchair. She instantly laid her head down onto your shoulder and closed her eyes, and you placed a tender kiss on her forehead.
“You tired, Baby?” you cooed, rubbing her back gently. When she simply responded by nuzzling her face deeper into your shoulder, you laughed fondly and turned to Daryl, sending him an apologetic look. “Sorry, I should probably get this little rascal to bed. You can stay here. I’ll be right back.”
However, as soon as you said that, Hazel interjected. “Dar tuck me in with Mama?” she asked innocently, lifting her head up to look at Daryl.
Daryl looked surprised. He locked eyes with you, his heart fluttering at the smile you sent him.
“If Daryl’s okay with it,” you whispered, looking at him through your eyelashes.
“Yeah, ‘course,” Daryl replied, nodding his head.
You motioned for him to follow you upstairs, and he obliged. Together, the two of you descended up the stairs and into Hazel’s bedroom. Daryl stopped in the doorway, not wanting to overstep any boundaries, but you had other ideas. You gently took his hand and led him into the room, only letting go of it to tuck your daughter into bed. Daryl subconsciously placed his hand on your shoulder instead, watching place your little girl into bed.
Hazel was already half asleep when you put her into her bed. She instantly curled up into her pillow and let out a big sigh, her eyes opening only slightly. In her view, she saw you, her mom, the woman who always protected her when the two of you were living on the road outside the walls, and always loved her despite her shenanigans. And Daryl, the man who at first had been kind of mean, but was now always there for both her and her mom. The man who undeniably had started to feel like a daddy to her.
“Night, Mama. Night, Daddy,” Hazel mumbled, her eyes closing and she drifted into slumber. In seconds, she was out cold.
Time froze for a moment. Daryl’s eyes widened and his heart practically pounded out of his chest. There was no way that he had heard it right. There was no way that Hazel had just called him dad. There was no way that Hazel trusted and loved him enough to see him as her father. She couldn’t, could she?
He turned to look at you and noticed the unreadable expression on your face. You didn’t address what she had just said, however, and Daryl was too nervous to bring it up himself.
“We should probably let her sleep,” you whispered to him, motioning towards the door.
“Yeah,” Daryl agreed and followed you out the door.
Together, the two of you descended down the stairs and back into the dining room. You turned to look at Daryl and motioned towards the living room.
“You can wait in the living room. I just wanna put the dishes in the sink and then I’ll join you.”
“Nah, let me help,” Daryl protested, moving over to grab all the dishes. Before you could protest, Daryl walked into the kitchen. You quickly followed behind him and watched him put the dishes in the sink, but before he could start washing them, you quickly stopped him.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll wash them tomorrow,” you assured him. “Do you want some wine?”
Daryl nodded and hummed, silently observing as you grabbed two glasses from the cabinet, as well as a bottle of wine. You placed the glasses on the counter before popping the the bottle open, pouring the two of you each a glass of wine. You handed him the glass and propped yourself onto the counter, letting your legs swing below you.
Daryl leaned against the counter and took a sip of his wine, humming in approval at the taste. “S’good. Thanks.”
“It’s nothing, really. I've been wanting a reason to open the bottle for a while now.”
“Ya can’t jus’ drink it whenever ya want?” Daryl questioned, taking another sip from the glass in his hand.
“I could, but I prefer not to. I don’t want to be like—” you started, but abruptly stopped. You hurriedly took a sip of your wine, welcoming the taste in your mouth.
“Like who?” Daryl asked, frowning at the uncomfortable look on your face.
You hesitated for a long moment, not sure if you should tell Daryl about your past problems. You were afraid that Daryl would look at you differently if you revealed anything. However, as you looked into his eyes, you only saw care and concern, so you found yourself confiding in him.
“Hazel’s father,” you revealed, pursing your lips at the thought of the man you hated more than anything in the world.
“What was he like?” Daryl asked, placing his glass down on the counter. He turned his full attention to you, his eyes trailing over your face for any shift in emotion.
“He was a fucking asshole,” you spat angrily, clenching your jaw in anger. “He was a raging alcoholic and a frequent drug user. He didn’t even stop when Hazel was born. If anything, it got worse. I tried so hard to get him sober, but nothing worked. He always yelled at me and threatened to hurt Hazel whenever I brought it up, but I stayed. I was too scared to leave. And then one day, when I woke up, he was just... Gone. No note, no phone call, nothing. Hazel was barely one year old.”
Daryl frowned deeply, anger bubbling inside him at the thought of someone hurting you and Hazel so badly. He clenched his fist and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He had no right to get angry. That wasn’t something that happened to him.
“Not too long after that, the world went to shit. His sister came to pick us up and took us to her camp, and that’s where I saw that asshole again. He treated Hazel so badly and got the other people in the camp to taunt and be mean to her. Hazel didn’t even do anything wrong, and I never even brought up the fact that she was his kid, but they all ganged up on her. Thankfully it never got physical, but I could tell that it really scarred her. It went on until the camp got overrun, and all of those fuckers got what they deserved. The only reason Hazel and I got out was because his sister helped us. She sacrificed herself for us. After that, Hazel and I were on our own for more than a year. I’m surprised that I managed to keep us alive for that long on my own, but I managed. And then Aaron and Eric found us, and the rest is history.”
Daryl was speechless. It angered him that someone would hurt you like that, would hurt little Hazel like that. And the fact that you had to survive on your own for that long... It amazed him. He wished that he could’ve found you earlier and have protected you and Hazel from all those horrors, but there was nothing he could do to change the past. He could only ensure that nothing ever touched you in the future.
“Yer a strong woman. The fact that ya went through all’a that and managed to keep Hazel alive and love her unconditionally proves that. Yer amazing and I hope ya know that.”
You were taken aback by the sudden confession, but a smile soon spread across your face. You hopped off the counter and stood in front of him, almost chest to chest. You looked up at him, your faces close enough to close the remaining distance between your lips. You didn’t even fully know why you did that. It was more than likely liquid courage, you figured.
“You’re amazing too. I don’t think you realize how much you mean to Hazel, how much you mean to me.”
With that, you closed the remaining distance between your lips. You pressed your lips against his softly, wrapping your arms around his neck. After a moment of shock, Daryl kissed you back feverishly, pulling you closer by your hips to have you flush against his body. You gasped against his lips, allowing Daryl to slip his tongue into your mouth. You moaned into his mouth and pressed yourself harder against him, eliciting a groan from the man.
As soon as you pulled away for air, you tugged Daryl by the lapel of his vest. “Wanna take this to my room?” you whispered, breathless from the ravenous kiss.
“What ‘bout Hazelnut? Won’t she wake up?” Daryl asked, pressing his forehead against yours.
“No. She’s out cold. The chances of her waking up are basically nonexistent.”
Daryl let out a deep breath and nodded, allowing you to pull him up the stairs. The two of you soon stumbled into your room, hurriedly closing the door and pawing at each other’s clothes. However, when you reached for Daryl’s shirt, he stopped you, a pained look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” you asked, a worried look on your face. “Did I do something wrong?”
Daryl shook his head. “Nah, ya didn’t do nothin’.”
“Then what’s wrong?” you asked him, gently cupping his cheek in your hand. “Talk to me. I promise I won’t judge.”
Daryl inhaled sharply. “I didn’t have a good childhood,” was all he offered before slowly removing his shirt.
Your eyes hungrily trailed over his body, your hands reaching forward to press against his chest. Sure, a few scars littered his chest, but they didn’t repulse you. You didn’t understand what Daryl was talking about until you got a glimpse of his back in the mirror in your room. The scars on his back were jagged and raised, and you instantly knew what they meant; someone had hurt this perfect man before you, and you felt so angry.
You walked behind him. “May I?” you whispered, your hands hovering over his back.
Daryl hesitantly nodded. You softly ran your fingers over his scars, your touch feathery light. The archer shivered involuntarily, closing his eyes at the feeling. Before meeting you, the only feeling that he ever associated with his back was pain from his father’s cruelty, yet there you were, tracing over his scars as if they were priceless paintings in a museum.
Soon your fingers were replaced with your lips, and Daryl’s eyes flew open. Your lips softly kissed over his scars, trailing down to the lowest scars on his lower back. When you were done, you turned him around to face you. You gently cupped his cheek, a small smile on your face.
“You're perfect to me, Daryl. You’re so sweet, kind and caring. Hell, my daughter called you dad. That says plenty.”
“M’perfect?”
“You're perfect.”
That was all you had to say for Daryl to pull you into another fiery kiss. The two of you soon toppled onto your bed, spending a night filled with passion together.
That next morning when Hazel woke up and walked into your room, she was pleasantly surprised to find Daryl sleeping there, holding you, her mama. She was, however, confused that when she woke the two of you up, you clutched the sheets to your bodies and refused to let her climb under them with you like you normally would do.
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Two years later...
“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Hazel. Happy birthday to you!”
You and Daryl cheered as Hazel blew out the candles on her homemade cake. Hazel laughed as she struggled to blow out the last one of the five candles on the cake, eliciting soft chuckles from you and Daryl. When she finally managed to extinguish it, you and Daryl each handed her a gift. She clapped her hands excitedly. She got up from her seat and ran to hug you and Daryl, which you both returned.
“Thank you, Mama. Thank you, Daddy,” she thanked with a big smile, eyeing the wrapped gifts on the table.
“Dun’ thank us yet, Hazelnut,” Daryl responded with a smile. “Go ahead and open ‘em.”
Hazel hurriedly opened each of the gifts and gasped with delight, holding up a colouring book, new crayons, and a new doll. She giggled in excitement at the gifts. “Can I go show these to Judith? We can colour and play dolls together now!”
You laughed and nodded. “Sure, Baby. Just be good for Auntie Michonne and Uncle Rick, okay?”
“Okay!” she agreed and took off in a run, throwing the front door open and disappearing out of it.
“I can’t believe she’s growin’ up so fast,” Daryl mumbled, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He rested his chin on the top of your head.
“I know, right? She’ll be moving away from home for college soon enough,” you joked.
“Hmm,” Daryl hummed, chuckling at your joke.
“Oh!” you exclaimed, turning around in the archer's arms. “I got something for you, too.”
“For me?” he asked in confusion, frowning slightly. “Why? It ain’t my birthday for another couple’a months.”
“I know, but this can’t wait that long. Here,” you told him, handing him a small box.
Daryl gingerly took the box from your hands and opened it. His eyes widened at the item inside, picking it up and looking at it. After examining it for a couple of moments, he confirmed that his mind indeed wasn’t playing a trick on him—it was a positive pregnancy test.
“Yer—Yer pregnant?” he asked, a smile spreading over his face.
“Yeah,” you confirmed, nodding your head. A laugh escaped you when Daryl picked you up and spun you around, before he placed you back on the ground and pulled you into a kiss.
When he pulled back, he leaned his forehead against yours. “Hazelnut’s gon’ have a baby sibling. We’re gon’ have another kid.”
“We are,” you agreed, closing your eyes. “I love you, Daryl.”
Daryl placed a gentle kiss against your forehead. “I love ya, too. And I already love that lil’ peanut in yer belly.”
“Hazelnut and Peanut, huh?”
“Yeah. Our two babies. Our own lil’ family,” Daryl told you wistfully, placing his hand on your stomach, over the life that was growing there.
“We have Hazel to thank for this. If she didn’t instantly like you back then, this might never have happened,” you told him, placing your hand over his.
“Remind me to thank her when she gets back later. But for now, let’s enjoy our alone time,” Daryl replied suggestively, tugging you with him as he walked backwards towards the stairs.
“I like that idea.”
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kailoraurelius · 2 months ago
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Am I talking about Swan and Mercy again? In another post? Because I am in love with their characters and the subtle things that define them individually and, therefore, together?? No, that's crazy talk.
So anyways, Swan is a bad ass. I said that in my last post, I'll say it again 📣📣 baddest bitch in the gang. Periodt. 💅
But MORE IMPORTANTLY, she's the most protective in the gang. My girl's first solo lines in the album are her worrying about them all going uptown unprepared. Like almost all the women, basically, are speaking against the idea, but they sound more annoyed or angry at the idea of not having weapons. But Swan is very clearly worried. She's thinking about how far it is and, if something goes down, how far they'll have to go to get home. She's worried about her ladies. Protective 👏👏👏
Then, she's the first one to start shouting "Stay down" to the Warriors in Derailed. Then, Woodlawn Cemetery, first thing she does is a head count. And in Orphan Town, it's her idea to approach the Orphans with a lighter touch, because they're outnumbered and she wants to protect her family so badly.
BUT she also chooses to protect Mercy in this song. Mercy, who she doesn't know, who has literally just tried to start a fight with her and her crew by demanding her vest. When Sully gets rough with her, Swan steps in and tells him to leave her alone. She was getting what she wanted before that!! Sully was backing off and allowing her through and even when Mercy tried to start shit, it's MERCY he got angry at. By all logic, if Swan hadn't spoken up, they could have still flirted their way through. But no. Swan sees a woman being treated wrong and she steps in.
And she's continues being protective of her crew for the rest of the album. But, let's skip to the end, then come back to talk about the three other major moments that I wanna talk about. So, The Finale. Swan sees this hearse, this dude calling out her crew, and without knowing a thing about him, she steps up to go fight his ass, telling the others "Stay behind me". She has, more than once in the album, put herself into danger to protect the others or done things out of her character to ensure their safety. And this is THE pivotal moment of that. It's why nobody listening can be surprised when she says, "Stay behind me". Because it's the defining characteristic of her.
It's simultaneously the saddest and sweetest thing about her. And that protectiveness is a super important aspect of her relationship with Mercy. Going back to the other moments I wanted to mention, it's most obvious to me in Park at Night and A Light or Somethin'.
Park at Night is a little more subtle, unless you're reading the lyrics. When Ajax gets cuffed and tells them to run, Swan immediately says, "Everyone go ahead". Sacrificing herself to lure the cops away so her family can escape. But, just as lightning quick, Mercy replies "no!" This girl who has known her a grand total of one (1) train ride SEES what she is doing. She's her once again putting herself into danger to protect someone. And she says no. She stays.
The other girls know the plan. Regroup in Union Square. But Mercy has just joined them and doesn't know this so it sounds to me like Swan's answering, "we'll regroup in Union Square" is her trying to tell Mercy to go, that she'd be okay.
But again, Mercy refuses. She says, "Swan, stick with me!" And then Swan seems to accept this woman isn't leaving her and she's switches to telling the others, "On the yellow line southbound platform, we'll meet you there". And she and Mercy, the one who wouldn't leave her alone, run. This moment, to me, is THE moment that made Swan/Mercy beautiful. Because nobody else argued the plan or even seemed to fully understand it.
In Cardigans, Cowgirl and Rembrandt are literally TALKING SMACK about Swan, saying she's "off canoodling with Mercy" and she "split off and left us". Like, y'all, she just put her life on the line to lead the cops away from you??? Rude.
Even Cochise, who stands up for Swan, doesn't say, "Hello, she just saved our lives at the risk of her own", she only defends the canoodling part by saying it's tactical.
Like, Mercy has been in your presence TWO SECONDS and she understands Swan better than y'all do, I'm crying. (Do not take this as me hating on any of the Warriors, I am in love with all of them and I know they're angry and scared in this moment and likely blinded by that and lashing out.)
And that brings us to the second of the three major things I wanna talk about. A Light or Somethin'. I know, everyone has talked about it. But there's something about it that I don't think I've seen anyone else mention. In that song, when Swan is rejecting Mercy, everyone is saying it's all because she has low self-esteem or doesn't trust her or is scared to feel her emotions. But I think the truth is that Swan is doing exactly what she's done this whole time. She's protecting someone else. She knows who she is, she knows she has lived a rough life and she's likely not going to be a very good partner because she's never learned how. So she's PROTECTING MERCY AGAIN by pushing her away. She says "be careful", "don't put your hope in me", "don't put your trust in me". Yes, this is definitely Swan thinking she isn't good enough, but it's also her protecting Mercy from HERSELF.
And Mercy, love of my life, is trying to tell her that she isn't scared. That Swan isn't something she needs protection from. SHE wants to protect Swan. She is in her corner, she stayed with her when the cops rolled up, she wants to fight by Swan's side. She says, "then WE'LL go" when Swan says she'll leave. Mercy has seen this amazing, protective woman, who cares so much for her family and for total strangers, and she wants to stay with her.
And that brings us to Same Train Home. When those rich assholes get on and are staring at the Warriors and Mercy is hurt by what she sees in their faces. And Swan, likely moved by Mercy still staying with them after her rejection and definitely moved by Fox's death and the loss of Ajax and Cleon, does it again. She puts aside her own fears and self-doubts to what?? Protect👏 Mercy 👏 She takes her hand and says, "Hold your head high. Let them stare in judgement" before she kisses her. Effectively telling Mercy "I heard you in the tunnel, I know you want to live bravely and boldly and I'm not going to let these pricks scare you into doing anything less. Fuck them and what they think."
And that's what's so beautiful about them, to me. They see each other so clearly.
Anyways, I'm gonna go cry now, thanks for listening to me ramble. 🤙
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localguy2 · 2 years ago
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Might be a bit of a weird thing but I want to see Kai's sudden anger sprouts or emotional outbreaks to come back, or basically some aspects of pre S8 Kai.
I want to see Kai motherfucking smith be mad at anyone really.
The Merge just happened and fuck me his family is scattered again, they're probably just as worried and confused and scared as him and he's sick of everyone he cares about getting constantly in danger, intentionally or not.
And then he meets Lloyd, or Nya, and he's sorta relieved but at the same time, the others are still missing out there somewhere.
So he gets clingy onto them, "if I can't find the rest I have to keep the ones I have close me to safe."
Of course this comes from worrying over the others and their safety, and if the name "Imperium" and if their nindroids and Vehicles and genrals are anything to go off of, they're an absolute force to be wrecked with.
Doesn't help either that there's the responsibility now of ensuring Sora and Arin (and Riyu) are safe as well.
And the moment I want to see him have an anger or emotional outburst is in a scenario where Nya makes a one off comment about Kai being overbearing and protective of them.
And Kai just snaps at Nya.
He goes on a large fucking tangent about how he's always had to stay calm in clearly shitty situations, because they as a group just keep getting separated time and time and time again, danger around the corner at any given moment and he's tired of it.
And it would especially hurt him that the comment comes from Nya out of all people, because not too long ago she was still one with the sea, he had to sacrifice his entire childhood just to raise and protect her, and he knows to respect her boundaries and beliefs but in his mind the last time he went too soft it ended up with her sacrificing herself for them.
And he doesn't want to go soft nor can he because at any given moment, one of them could give their entire being just to save the others, and he's seen it way too many times, so he just can't.
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autumn0689 · 1 year ago
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An analysis of Alice, Rose, and Scratch’s relationship with Alan as it relates to obsession. Well, my interpretation of their relationships with him.
I love how in the game, there are characters, well three in total, who have an obsession (well, not in Alice’s case but I’ll get to that) with Alan Wake (the man himself) and how interesting those dynamics are in relation to how Alan views the person.
With Alice, it’s not an obsession but she does do everything she can to help her husband, even willing to throw herself back into the Dark Place to help him and is helping him every step of the way. Alice has always wanted to help Alan, which is what led her to bringing him to Bright Falls to get help, and I can imagine that Alice is happy to finally be able to help Alan, even if it’s from a distance.
With Alan, he cares so much for Alice. He cares to the point of doing anything to ensure her safety, even if it ends up being detrimental to himself, such as sacrificing himself so that Alice could emerge out of the lake, and Alan is constantly worry about Alice, with his goal often being about how to help her, to save her even. Alan’s view of Alice is almost like he doesn’t believe she can handle herself, which is the exact opposite, and when Alan falls for Alice’s rise in believing that she is dead, he gets furious, then guilt ridden when he learns that it was him haunting her, causing him to almost have a disregard to himself, thinking of saving everyone and even ending the story with him dead, taking Scratch with him and Alice refusing to let that happen as she helps him ascend by leading him to where he needs to be, slowly inching him towards ascension as Alan probably has something he hasn’t felt in a while, hope. Hope of escaping and to be with Alice (and I do hope they will be together in the end and the story not end in tragedy)
Alan’s relationship with Alice is one on how romantic relationships are, on how it’s about love but also about conflict in the relationship. Alan’s refusal to get any sort of help and to sulk when he was experiencing Writers Block began to strain his and Alice’s relationship and how as much as Alice tried to help, Alan had to be willing to put in the work. It’s about how mutual their relationship should be, instead of Alice constantly worrying about him as Alan, quite frankly, treated her and others around him like shit. It’s about how strong their love is, with Alan being shocked how Alice was still with him, even after everything he did, and their relationship isn’t abusive, it is heavily flawed, just like all types of relationships are. Their relationship to each other is about care and so, so much love for one another, and how that even if relationships grow sour, there is always a chance to change it and to possibly have their relationships become stronger because of it, and that through all their hardships and being separated for so long, their love for each other remains just as strong as it did thirteen years ago.
It’s not exactly obsession, but I feel like Alice’s relationship with Alan is important to keep in mind as I continue to discuss about other two people who have more intense feelings for the writer, but in more unhealthy ways.
With Rose, almost everything she does revolves around Alan. She worships him, wants to be his muse, wants to be with him, and writes fanfic about him (which is not a bad thing but I love that she writes fanfic, you go girl) and she basically has a shrine of him, but is able to show self restraint when she meets up with Alan, which surprises me, because she was very professional when she met with Alan, but with Saga she was basically gushing about him, being happy to help him in whatever ways she can, doing anything to help him, and I mean anything.
Alan’s relationship with Rose is one akin to a parasocial relationship. Rose is head over heels for Alan, calling herself his ‘muse all along’ and writing fanfic and drawing sketches about him while Alan remembers her ‘as Rose from the Diner’. Since Alan said that he wasn’t leaving Rose any messages, it was most likely Scratch, and it shows how easily Rose is to be manipulated by others if they just use that ‘Alan needs her’ (Saga even said the phrase that Rose had been waiting for and got excited even though Saga didn’t believe that she was a character in his story) and, believe me I understand liking an famous people or obsessing over a fictional character, but Rose took it to the next level, having her whole life dedicated to helping Alan and, being stated to ‘read The Sudden Stop before she goes to bed’, and while it’s okay to like authors or fictional characters and actors, it’s not when it becomes to unhealthy standards, like how Rose started to basically dedicate her life to him and never outgrowing that obsession for him.
Rose’s obsession with Alan was used by her to Scratch’s advantage, using her obsession of Alan to his own gain, and with Rose’s parallel to Cynthia Weaver, who was obsessed with Zane and how that ruined her life and led to her demise, it is very possible that Rose’s obsession with Alan may lead to her demise. (I love Rose and while it’s fine to like Alan’s work, considering her parallel to Cynthia, I hope that her obsession with Alan doesn’t consume her to the point that she doesn’t have a life outside of a singular goal to help her crush, just like Cynthia, and I hope that Scratch leaves my girl alone!)
Now speaking of Scratch, let’s get to him.
Scratch is OBSESSED with Alan. Scratch is basically after Alan in Alan’s section of the game. Scratch is way different than his American Nightmare self, being more reclusive in his appearances rather than his more boisterous self in American Nightmare (and also that he was drenched in blood a majority of the time) He then hitches a ride in Alan’s body, laying dormant until Saga got the Clicker, then he comes out and WANTS the Clicker, so much that he even takes over Saga’s Mind Palace before Saga regained control. Then Scratch takes over Casey, takes the Clicker, and turns Bright Falls into a never ending DEERFEST in which they talk only about one thing: Alan. It’s all about Alan, about his book, Return, and how is a fantastic writer.
Now we get to the chase scene in the Wellness Center. Scratch says many stuff that alludes to his obsession of Alan (and himself by extension) saying lines such as ‘welcome be back home’ and ‘everything revolves around us’ and ‘you are home’ a bunch of other lines. It’s such specific dialogue that Scratch says, mostly referring to him and Alan as one, especially since he had disdain for Alan in American Nightmare, often remarking that he is better than Alan and doesn’t even want to be put in the same league as him. Now, we have to remember that Scratch is now an aspect of Alan in AW2, so Scratch’s obsession over him could be the fact that they are both linked together, with Scratch being Alan’s dark self manifested.
Now, Alan’s relationship with Scratch is purely antagonistic. Alan holds immense disdain for Scratch, to the point of writing a note that Scratch is bad. Since Scratch wrote Return and Alan modified it, Alan has even more disdain for Scratch, and then he learned that, apparently, Scratch was haunting Alice, which resulted in her ‘death’, and then Alan went and shot who he thought was Scratch, only to learn that it was him, that he was the one haunting Alice.
Alan then, as a result of Saga being thrown into the Dark Place and Alice’s ‘death’ and Casey being taken over, blames himself for everything that happened, and while he still has animosity for Scratch, he acknowledges that he also had a role in what happened and that he had to fix it, with him writing him dying, taking Scratch with him, beckoning him home, most likely a symbolism of Alan accepting his dark sides, as Saga shoots him with the Bullet of Light, resulted in him dying, then coming back as he utters “It’s not a Loop, it’s a Spiral.”, leaving Scratch’s fate ambiguous.
Scratch and Alan’s relationship is one of repression, of trying not ignore your worst qualities, and instead of trying to resolve them, you ignore them as you let them fester, and since Alan is in the Dark Place, a place that can alter reality, Alan’s dark self was manifested as Scratch, at first a murderous, suave being who had no regards for anything and dislikes Alan, to an animalistic egotistical being that wants to take over Alan’s body (and if you want you can also interpret Scratch wanting to be Alan so that he can take his place, just like how Mr Scratch in AWAN wanted, but instead of being separate he wants to be the only one, which may be why he wants to be in Alan’s body, since technically Alan would be out of the picture) in which Mr Scratch represented people’s interpretation of Alan while Scratch represents Alan’s repressed emotions.
I wonder how Scratch will be in NG+ or in a hypothetical Alan Wake 3 if NG+ doesn’t wrap up the ending. I wonder if he will even play a part since Alan technically took him ‘back home’ or if Scratch is still out there. Since this is a spiral, is Scratch still inside Alan? I guess we will have to wait and see until NG+
Can’t wait to see what else is in store for this amazing game and, if NG+ really does change a lot, how these relationships change (or not change) in NG+ (and to see more of Alice)
To anyone who has read all of this (my ramblings) uh… thanks. Feel free to correct me if I got anything incorrect and wow this was a longer post than expected.
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cimmeriana · 1 year ago
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{ HEADCANON }
A deep dive into Melinoe's backstory; or a very long ramble by Grim about the Dark Urge and Bhaal because Grim spends far too much time thinking about these things for her own good and the rest of you have to deal with it --
cw: the dark urge spoilers, dark and mature themes
Melinoe was born via immaculate conception to a woman that ran away to be a Shadow Druid and then devoted herself as a Cleric of Bhaal. All because she took The Shadow Druids' Doctrine a little too seriously, demolished an entire village just because they were loggers, and then fell in love with Bhaal when he gave her a dust particle of attention for it.
Balance is a myth. Where any clan treads, nature struggles. Unity is a fiction. Men of mere flesh seek only to tame beast and raze flora. We are the thunder, and we are the rain. We shatter mankind, and grow new life in its place. (Faldorn's Canticle: The Shadow Druids' Doctrine)
When I say that Lina's mother Elisheva was obsessed with Bhaal, I mean obsessed as in she was out there sacrificing animals and any poor humanoids that wandered into the part of the deep woods that they lived. Just to try and get Bhaal's attention. Sheva was absolutely convinced that the only way to truly preserve and respect nature the way that it deserved was to completely annihilate everyone and allow nature to rule, and she was convinced that only a god like Bhaal could possibly understand the necessity of genocide for the greater good.
Ultimately, her disgusting devotion to Bhaal did get her rewarded as being chosen to be the Vessel of the Dark Urge. If you could even call it a reward, since she was inevitably killed by the god she so adored once he no longer needed her as the caretaker to his Dark Urge.
Note: The Dark Urge is both what Bhaal seems to have called them if they're not given a name by the player and what the compulsions the character feels are referred to.
Sheva wasn't necessarily a bad mother in the sense that she wasn't physically or verbally abusive, but she was neglectful. She never actually parented Melinoe, but rather just managed her and treated her like, well, the pureblood child of god. Like a messiah. Melinoe never got disciplined and basically got to run around the woods like a feral child.
Not to say that Sheva didn't bond with her. In fact, Sheva was often following Melinoe around to ensure the safety of the Bhaalspawn when she was too little to really defend herself. This means that, for the first decade of Melinoe's life, she was basically attached at the hip to Sheva. Sheva trained her how to hunt, how to forage, how to track, and how to survive living in the woods as well as druid teachings Sheva grew up with and other folk magics that Sheva picked up as a maiden. She even taught Melinoe some of her Shaaran history, typically only speaking Shaaran and Infernal together.
Sheva started to be more hands-off as a parents when Melinoe started to be more independent, which is when Melinoe would start wondering off alone and sometimes even be gone a few days at a time. Mostly just terrorizing animals in the woods, sleeping in trees, playing in mud, and other stupid kid things. But the time that really changed her life was when a merchant family that was travelling back to their home found her and just assumed she was an orphan, so they took her in as their own.
She probably lasted about a week and a half maximum with the family before she murdered them all one night and then ran away back to her mother, who was waiting there with Bhaal himself. Bhaal was beyond pleased about his Dark Urge's first official kill being an absolute massacre and, despite still being very young, determined that it was time for her to move into his Temple in Baldur's Gate. This is the point where he murders Sheva, determining she'd be no more use except to be a potential weakness for Melinoe.
The rest of her childhood in the Temple of Bhaal was isolating due to very strick expectations Bhaal placed upon her. At a very young age, she was told that one day she would be expected to mate and breed a more pure and powerful line of Bhaalspawn, and for that reason it was forbidden for any males at the temple to so much as look at her. Luckily, she had the companionship of Orin and immediately formed a codependent attachment to her bloodkin. It remained this way until the girls came of age and were expected to carry out their God-Father's will by bringing murder to the streets of the Storm Coast.
Note: In-game, if you embrace the Dark Urge, Sceleritas Fel can join your camp and answer questions. If the Dark Urge inquires if Bhaal would allow them to spare their beloved (if they have a romance), Sceleritas states: "Of course, Master! We will always need to sire more Bhaalspawn! Although, if they are not up to the task, we may need to find you a breeding-mate. Or ten."
It was a very jagged transition from girlhood to womanhood, as Melinoe had years of isolation from everyone except Orin, Sceleritas Fel, and the female Bhaalists that trained and educated them, but then was expected to uphold Bhaalist ideals that sexualized murder. It was like going from an ice cold bath directly into scalding hot water, because now Melinoe was expected to even use her own body as a means of destruction if Bhaal's plans required it.
In a sense, the first kill to mark that transition from girlhood into womanhood was very much treated like loosing maidenhood. It was ritualistic, as all Bhaalist initiates including the Bhaalspawn had a period of time in which they were expected to enact their first kill in Bhaal's name so as to gain what they refer to as Bhaal's Favor: "a mindless, instinctual, primal sensation that comes from within the bowel, an erotic spasm that washes over the killer, in the moment of murder."
In a sense, for the Bhaalists, it was as if they weren't allowed to be sexual or hedonistic beings until their god determined it so. And only on his terms with his explicit blessing, in which his blessing only came with the condition that such pleasure only be experienced when there's a murder in his name. This is evident in the fact that Bhaalist are also expected to forsake seeking out any other form of hedonism and to only seek the love of Bhaal.
But, it wasn't easy to actually obtain Bhaal's love. It was, in fact, absolutely impossible because Bhaal is incapable of loving anyone except himself due to his inherit narcissism. The closest it could be said that Bhaal has ever gotten to love is perhaps his obsession with his Dark Urge child, specifically because - unlike other Bhaalspawn - the Dark Urge was created from Bhaal's own divine blood and then placed within his Vessel of the Dark Urge for birthing. Bhaal's expectation was that the Dark urge would thus just be an extension of himself, a near clone of his essence and consciousness just in a separate form.
Bhaal didn't actually anticipate that this child would have it's own consciousness, he'd never even considered that possibility of the Dark Urge becoming a person in their own right.
My belief is that, even though Bhaal always intended to have the Dark urge become his Chosen and heir, he purposely dictated to both Orin and Melinoe that he would be choosing only one heir based upon how well they could serve him. And he did this as a means to separate them. He didn't like the fact that the two had bonded and found emotional fulfillment in one another because it meant that they weren't truly seeking out his love - even though it was love he had no intention of and was incapable of giving. Again, Bhaalists were only allowed to seek the love of Bhaal and to experience joy and pleasure by obtaining Bhaal's Blessing.
Not only this, but by declaring this decree and being an impressively devoted servant of Bhaal as prerequisite to becoming his Chosen and heir, he could justify his favoritism by claiming the Dark Urge simply produced more bloodshed in his name. It was a losing game for Orin from the very beginning because it was rigged in the Dark Urge's favor since Bhaal's narcissism meant he believed the Dark Urge was just an extension of himself.
You can also infer that the search for his Chosen was rigged based on the fact that Bhaal could have already had a Chosen in either Sarevok Anchev (Orin's grandfather and father, the Dark Urge's brother) or Helena Anchev (Orin's mother and sister, the Dark Urge's niece) years before either Orin or the Dark Urge was born, yet he waited to even expose the idea until after the Dark Urge was brought into the fold. The Dark Urge was made specifically to be his Chosen because he had already deemed the previously sired Bhaalspawn as unworthy.
Note: In-game, Orin is referred to as the Dark Urge's sister. In fact, she is biologically both her niece and great-niece but was raised as the Dark Urge's sister due to their proximity in age and the fact they would have grown up in the Temple together.
None of these Bhaalspawn knew this, however, and were under the impression that they had a chance to become his Chosen if they showcased their devotion to Bhaal in a way that impressed him. Helena was willing to murder her own daughter just because Sarevok told her that she could be the Chosen if she gave Orin as an offering, to which Helena believed because she loved Sarevok both as his daughter and as the mother of his second child Orin and was too indoctrination to believe that Sarevok would betray her for the sake of his own desire for power.
The only reason Sarevok doesn't ultimately kill Orin himself is because Bhaal steps in to use Orin as his mouthpiece and order Sarevok to safeguard her for his future use. Going back to other points made, it could for her to add to his assassins but also - as a female Bhaalspawn - to eventually serve as a broodmare.
I also wouldn't put it passed Bhaal for this omittance to have been on purpose to also break the attachment that Sarevok had for Helena and that Orin had for Helena. Specially for the same reason of not wanting any of them to get emotional fulfillment from someone except him, which was also key in his reason for killing Melinoe's mother.
Note: Going back to my previous mention that the Dark Urge would be expected to mate and breed more Bhaalspawn-- I firmly believe that Bhaal in all his narcissism would have attempted to sire more Bhaalspawn through a female Dark Urge. Potentially even have Sarevok sire more Bhaalspawn through a female Dark Urge and Orin, and have a male Dark Urge sire more Bhaalspawn through Orin. The narrator makes commentary when you encounter Sarevok that "Bhaal's bilious waters are always a little murky" in reference to what Sarevok's familial tie to the Dark Urge would be. If you use Speak with the Dead on Helena's corpse, tell Orin that Sarevok ordered Helena to kill her as a child, kill Orin, and then return to Sarevok, Sarevok states this about Orin and Helena: "I loved her [Orin] as I loved her mother. One born from the other, both heritors of my essence. Bhaal never had a more fecund offering than I sowed on his behalf. Bhaal's seed must be sown throughout the land that He might wreak murder on the world entire."
This is likely also why Bhaal didn't immediately act when Melinoe began to drift from her devotions to Bhaal's plans in the way she came to genuinely admire and see the Chosen of Bane, Enver Gortash, as her equal. Even though Bhaal seemed to be placated by the Dark Urge's Prayer for Forgiveness (which I'm sure that was just one of many), it makes sense that Orin would feel absolutely enraged at the fact that the Dark Urge was getting special treatment despite blatantly having an attachment to someone that isn't Bhaal or even a Bhaalist. Beyond just that, but someone who was the Chosen of one of Bhaal's rivals. Especially so if that attachment had hedonistic undertones.
Which, for Melinoe, it most certainly was an attachment for her own pleasure and didn't really offer any added benefits to Bhaal's plans. A sort of obsession formed at the attention and the treatment of being regarded an equal rather than a servant, causing Melinoe to begin questioning the beliefs of the Bhaalists as well as just how tangible it would be to ever truly receive Bhaal's love.
The enchantment that kept Melinoe devoted began to crack with the realization that, to Bhaal, they were all just tools for his means. She realized that she had never been a daughter for him, but a product of his own narcissism that he intended to treat as a broodmare, only being utilized as a weapon because her was disgusted by his own sired Bhaalspawn to the extent he bore no faith in their abilities to enact his will. She was Bhaal's most trusted weapon because he saw her as an extension of himself that he could control until he saw fit to retire her to her stable for breeding.
And so Melinoe plotted to break away from her God-Father. To denounce him and instead continue her collaboration with Gortash on her own terms. To have her own power for her own sake, to do with as she pleased. To have her freedom to choose her own life path. To choose for herself when she would act as a blade or a lover or devotee
And there remained Orin, desperate to prove herself to Bhaal so that she could receive both his love and his validation by becoming his Chosen, constantly being overlooked and overshadowed. Even after she had murdered her own mother that had turned on her and been used as Bhaal's mouthpiece. It makes sense that Orin felt offended and believed that she needed to get rid of the Dark Urge as a way to show true devotion to Bhaal and Bhaal's plans. Of course, another incentive would also be that disposing of the Dark Urge and forcing herself into that spot of the plan would leave her as the only option to become the Chosen of Bhaal.
After all, it's evident that the other Bhaalspawn believe the Chosen will be decided based upon who is the strongest of the Bhaalspawn, despite the fact Bhaal had always intended to make the Dark Urge his chosen due to his narcissism. Bhaal has to go through with switching his Chosen to whomever murders the original Chosen mainly just so he wouldn't have to admit that his pureblood Bhaalspawn born from his own divine blood that her viewed as an extension of himself had been murdered by a watered-down Bhaalspawn like Orin who was born from incest just to try and prevent even more dilution of Bhaal's essence.
Melinoe's weakness from her revelations was her reluctance to leave Orin behind. Her desire to liberate Orin from Bhaal's enchanted chains and unveil her eyes to see Bhaal for what he truly was. Orin hadn't used trickery to lure Melinoe away. Not really. It was Melinoe who sought an audience with her dear sister that had become so estranged when Bhaal demaned Orin's subordination to the Dark Urge. Melinoe made a plea for Orin to abandon Bhaal, to join her instead.
But the plea had fallen on deaf ears not yet ready to hear the truth. It could be said that perhaps Melinoe's weakness for Orin is what felled her. A love for her sister that rejected due to the corruption and enthrallment of Bhaal's wickedness upon Orin.
Despite Melinoe's unfortunate amnesia that never really gets cured, she retains this sense and stubborn belief that everyone deserves the freedom to choose their own destiny rather than to be herded like a sheep. It's why she fights her dark urges that whisper carnage and violence in her brain.
She refuses to be controlled. She refuses to be put into a box. She refuses to live her life solely for others.
This ideal extends to those around her that she finds herself eventually caring for. She respects their autonomy and right to control over their own lives. She'll always support their endeavors and challenge their motivations: is this what you want or is it what feels safest and most familiar? Who do you want to be? Value yourself and believe that you can be better than the role people seek to place you into.
It all boils down to freedom and he belief that all people deserve to be free.
However, this core belief of hers actually has the possibility to be twisted and corrupted. She absolutely despises nobility, specifically for the fact that she believes the majority of them do nothing for the people that they're supposed to rule and lord over. Nobles always have the finest clothes and the most riches, meanwhile you have people living like urchins in slum that smell of piss and shit, where children can just barely get stale bread for supper.
This core value can actually even be found when Melinoe was Bhaal's Dark Urge, if you look hard enough at her. She percieved the killing of her mother as freeing her mother from the burdens of this plane. Her mother's death meant that she was no longer held responsible for the Dark Urge and that she could move on to something more peaceful than a walking nightmare of the flesh of man constantly pillaging and destroying the nature she loved so much. She often looked down on Orin, despite loving her sister, for her baggage about Helena because the Dark Urge perceived the whole situation as:
1. Helena, through her death, being freed from the burden of her mediocrity.
2. Orin and Sarevok being freed from their attachments to Helena so that they could better devote themselves to Bhaal the ways they claimed they desired.
It makes sense then that Melinoe would actually consider the Chosen of Bane to be her equal and to believe that they were like-minded. Bane is the God of Tyranny and his Chosen, Enver Gortash, truly believes that he can do as Archdukes than the Council of Four or any powers before him if he were to take over the whole Storm Coast and beyond.
In some very twisted way, the Dark Urge was able to justify tyranny and murder and death as a way to give people true freedom. To allow people to become unburdened so they could live truly. If they are all made subjects to serve, then the world would be free of sorrow and hatred and oppression because all would be equal subjects cared for by the Dead Three.
I think it should also be noted that, while the Prayer for Forgiveness that the Dark Urge writes to Bhaal suggests the end goal is to murder ever living being and leave nothing, I think that was just the Dark Urge being theatric to gain forgiveness. If absolutely every dies, then how would murder continue? Not to mention, as stated prior, Sceleritas Fel mentions that Bhaalspawn are always sought to be made. You can't make more Bhaalspawn if there's no one to sire and breed them. Not to mention, again, Bhaal is completely narcissistic and murdering absolutely everyone to leave no one alive would mean he no longer has subjects to adore him and cater to his ever twisted will.
Bhaal's end goal wasn't to level the whole world, he just wanted the genocide of anyone who wouldn't fall under his thumb and swear themselves to him. Bhaal wanted a world of his Bhaalspawn and his Bhaalist that he could lord over and puppet for his own amusement. It's his followers, however, that always hope Bhaal will
It's important to note that Bhaal's full title is the Lord of Murder and the God of Violence and Ritualistic Killing. Ritualistic is a very key part of the murders he wants. He doesn't want just any murders, that's evident because both the Dark Urge and Sarevok critique Orin for making her kills too aesthetic when Bhaal doesn't care for beauty and only cares if the murder is done for his pleasure and to his likings. We can infer from this that perhaps Orin subconsciously makes her kills beautiful because it brings her pleasure. Which, ironically, could be considered going against Bhaal because its seeking a pleasure outside of Bhaal and Bhaal's will.
Bhaal himself holds enough narcissism and hubris to believe his decisions and actions are of higher importance with greater affect to the realms. It's actually rather ironic that Bhaal considers Bane a sworn foe, if only because Bhaal has characteristics and the attitude of a tyrant himself.
Bhaal once stated to both Bane and Myrkul when he said: "I can destroy your kingdom, Bane, by murdering your subjects, and I can starve your kingdom, Myrkul, by staying my hand." Without Violence and Murder, there would be no Death and Tyranny cannot exist should Violence and Murder not allow for those souls to flourish in life. Sheva full-heartedly believed that Bhaal was the truest balance that could exist, as he was no longer a mere man of flesh but a man that had ascended to godhood.
Hence, I go back to my point that Bhaal never had a plan to murder all living life. To do so would be to usurp Bane and grant more power to Myrkul, which I can't see he would want to do because that could weaken himself as he would no longer have Bhaalists or Bhaalspawn under his control. Not to mention, it would evoke the wrath of Bane, which then runs the risk that Myrkul might potentially side with Bane rather than Bhaal. If anything, I believe the plan was to use the Chosen of Bane and Chosen of Myrkul to be able to ritualistically murder en masse, but then murder both of those Chosen before it progressed into them actually dominating and enthralling the entire world.
There's no thrill of violence when killing a being who's mind is no longer their own, who can't fight back. Why would Bhaal realistically want to dominate the entire world and use a netherbrain and illithid parasites to control the very men of flesh he gains such pleasure in violently murdering? Bhaal's true plan must have been to be temporary bosom mates just to be able to send his Bhaalists and Chosen out to murder with the blessing of all the Dead Three, and then sabotaging those plans when they were too close to being realized.
I digress, but the point of all this is to make it understood that even though having a core value of freedom seem like a positive thing, it can very easily be twisted. This happened to Melinoe when she served as the Dark urge, as her perspective due to being raised as a Child of Murder and the Favored Child of Bhaal, expected to be an extension of her God-Father.
Not only that, but to be told and taught such things for the first near decade of her life by a Druid Cleric who believed the only way to free nature for it to flourish was to demolish all men of flesh, because balance is a myth and unity is a fiction. The only true way to have freedom is through those who are blessed to be more enlightened to take upon the burden of saving men of mere flesh from themselves. Those blessed enough to see such as Bhaal, who murders not to scourge the earth but murders ritualistically because without murder there would be no balance between life and death.
I bring up repeatedly that Melinoe's core value of freedom can be twisted because her amnesia after Orin's betrayal puts her in the precarious position that's she's influenceable to whomever she ends up surrounded by. She initially feels disgusted and worried about her dark urges, but her perspective on that can also change based on who she's surrounded by.
For that reason, I have two different verses to explore that:
THE DARK URGE she is cursed with forgotten memories, abducted by vile mind-flayers. escaping the nautiloid was not an easy task, nor will be the path forward to seek answers. but she is not alone. for there are others affected by the tadpoles who seek a way forward. how shall she lead them? will she prevail in taming the monster that lurks within her? will she lead her companions to victory and freedom? THE LADY OF DREAD she awakens to the sensation of falling from the sky, dark and unfamiliar waters the only cushion to break her fall. she has no memories, only dark urges that sing in a symphony and an illithid tadpole burrowing in her brain. she is drawn to the absolute, the only souls she finds in a land ravaged by goblins and beasts. she travels to moonrise towers as they do, and it is there she learns of the betrayal to her and must decide what is to become of her destiny. what shall she do now that she knows the truth and can act as judge and executioner to her bloodkin and god-father?
In both, she does eventually learn enough about her past life to get the picture that she is a pureblood Bhaalspawn, was Bhaal's Favored Child, was betrayed by Orin who harbored jealousy for Bhaal's attention to his Favored, and learns about the expectations the Dark Urge faced.
She ultimately makes the decision that she definitely wants to deny Bhaal because she doesn't want to be his pawn, tool, weapon, of broodmare. How Melinoe goes about that, however, depends on who nurtures her in this pivotal part of her life.
If Melinoe encounters the origin companions when she first awakens with her amnesia, she sticks with them and that starts her on the path of redemption. Which ultimately leads to her rejecting Bhaal and her Bhaalspawn birthright, to which Bhaal smites her, and then Withers (who's actually Jergal) resurrects her to cure her of her dark urges for the rest of her life. Melinoe can only reach this path due to the influence of her companions and learning from how they move about the world, their moralities, their beliefs, and their core values.
Not only that, but by witnessing all the companions' individual growth, it inspires and emboldens her to firmly believe that she too can overcome the darkness within her so that she can grow beyond the dark urges that haunt her consciousness. It's ultimately the bond with her companions and their support and belief in her that allows her to fully transcend into redemption.
She would follow through with the belief that absolute power always absolutely corrupts, and that checks and balances needed to be in place to keep one person or one group from gaining so much that the enslave and chain all others.
Even if it's the harder choice or the choice that requires more farewells, ultimately she would feel confident that it was the best choice. No one deserves to be subjugated or having their life chosen for them. No matter the cost or consequence.
On the opposite side of the coin...
If she encounters the Cult of the Absolute first, she ultimately ends up back in the fold with the Dead Three. However, learning what she does about her life pre-amnesia, she still makes the conscious decision that she needs to break away from Bhaal and live life according to her own desires.
Perhaps more important to note is the fact that this would ultimately mean that Melinoe and Gortash, who originally plotted the entire false religion trick to control a mass of people, would be reunited. Ultimately, with Ketheric choosing indifference to the matter and Orin remaining evasive, Melinoe picks back up where the Dark Urge had left off and renews her alliance with Gortash. This means that her primary influencing figure would be Gortash, considering he'd really be the only one willing to actually deal with her due to the fact he and the Dark Urge had mutual respect and admiration for one another prior to Orin's betrayal of the Dark Urge.
Except, this time, her emotional toxic bond to Bhaal, Orin, and the Bhaalists are severed thanks to her missing memory. Her past self, she determines, had been held back from truly breaking away due to her attachment to Orin while herself now has no such attachment. She would, of course, due to her core values, make an attempt to reach out to Orin and persuade her away from Bhaal. Ultimately, however, Melinoe now would not hesitate to kill Orin.
And then, with Orin either brought into the fold and managed or killed (which is more likely), she would focus all of her attention of whatever renovated plans she and Gortash had decided together. Because, frankly, it would have to be altered to take into account that Melinoe would no longer have Bhaal's resources.
Interestingly enough, I believe this would make Melinoe far more dangerous than she would have been as the Dark Urge. Not because she would be more bloodthirsty, but because she would be far more focused and calculative. Because she would be devoted to this cause and plan of her own accord rather than as a way to show her devotion to someone else.
Her core believe would very much become twisted to believe that subjugating the whole world is the only way to bring true freedom and the closest thing to balance upon it, and that she and Gortash were the special blessed enough to be burdened to save men of flesh from themselves.
Closing: I never really thought about what would happen to the Dark Urge if they didn't end up with the origin companions and, frankly, exploring this helped me understand Melinoe better as a whole in general. But all of that stemmed from me plotting with @lordgortrash and challenging myself to see how her character would respond, react, and change in a different environment. So thanks, bud, you inspired me and now there's a whole essay to show for it lmao
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kob131 · 2 years ago
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Myself?
Well, if the whole ‘Balance’ part of my name wasn’t a clear indication- I’m a big fan of duality and conflicting forces in fiction. My favorite depiction of this is the Law/Chaos conflict in Shin Megami Tensei where the angels of God try to enforce an all consuming state where everyone must worship while Lucifier and his demons try to enforce a state of absolute freedom, which naturally devolves into rampant destruction and barbarism. I love this because it shows a harsh truth of the world- that you can’t default to just one side because the ideologies have inherent flaws you can’t really compensate for without using some aspects of the opposing side. The worship of God means nothing without the freedom to not do so. The freedom of Lucifier is pointless without something to prevent the strong from ruling over the weak.
Ironically despite nominally being more on the Chaos end of things, I do have a strong affection for ‘knight-like’ characters. ... No shit, the ‘Knight’ guy likes knights. But I think it says a lot when a character chooses to believe in a set of rules and strives to uphold them to the best of their ability rather than settling and compromising their ideals time and time again. It’s actually why I like Ruby so much- it’s incredibly hard to hold onto your optimism when the world beats you down. But just falling into cynicism is more a sign of weakness than anything else. So she keeps to her beliefs, even if it is just a basic form of optimism, because it’s better than just giving up.
Another of my favorites is the trope of a character, driven by a love for someone more than anything else, sacrificing themselves in order to ensure that person’s happiness or safety. Obvious example- Vegeta blowing himself up during the Buu Saga, knowing that he would suffer in Hell for everything he did, all because he genuinely loved Trunks and Bulma more than his own life. By extension- when a person facing down death accepts their end peacefully. Because I find it beautiful when someone finds something they value more than their life, due to how we logically should value our lives more than anything. And how, despite how frightening death is, they’re able to face it with peace of mind.
And...really anything that involves the human spirit triumphing over the odds. You can blame Gurren Lagann for that.
You know. We don't talk enough.
What's your favorite trope/recurring idea in media?
Yeah, that's true, we don't 😁
My favorite... That's tricky, hard to narrow it down.
I mean, the Damsel in Distress is a classic...
Also that thing where the refined/restrained Villain has a complete meltdown at the end and devolves into a beastial wreck of his former self, becoming significantly more terrifying, pathetic, and dangerous all at once.
My favorite though... Actually, I think it's probably the type of character who has the vague trappings of aristocratic refinement, but is clearly just a slime in a nice suit. Think certain portrayals of the Penguin from Batman, the Assassin's Creed version of my namesake the Marquis de Sade (really, any portrayal of him that's what I'm talking about, that one just does it the best), the Great Goblin from The Hobbit (goblins are always fun though), Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad, and Varney of London from Castlevania
Every time a character like that shows up, they're pretty much guaranteed to be my favorite part of whatever they're in. Frankly, the design of my avatar/persona/OC was as much inspired by this sort of archetype as the historical Marquis himself (and I have a sneaking suspicion that he, his life, and the sort of characters he wrote, was very much an inspiration for the archetype in the first place)
What about you?
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darklingichor · 3 years ago
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Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir **MAJOR SPOILERS**
So, this is a first, I've never written a revisit this fast.
I do often read or listen to an especially good book, again, right after I finish it. Usually because I can't get into another book until I do.
I did it with Lamb, and I did it with the Martian.
This one is going to be chock full of spoilers, I really want to analyze the main characters in this book, and I can't do that without going into details. This is why I marked the hell out of this.
Project Hail Mary is even better the second time around. This is often the case. Books are like soup. The leftovers from the fridge are often even better than when you had it the first time.
*SPOILERS* *SERIOUSLY SPOILERS TURN BACK NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS BOOK* *SPOILERS* *THE REST OF THIS RAMBLE WILL RUIN THE BOOK* *SPOILERS*
Okay, so run down.
The book opens with our main character waking up to an annoying computer asking him basic math questions. This is detecting cognitive function, that's my guess anyway.
Our character quickly discovers a few things. First, he's in a room with robot arms tending to him, including unhooking him from various life support systems as it figures out that he is awake and functioning. He's not alone in the room, there are two others, but they are long dead. And he has no idea, who he is, where he is, or why he's there.
What follows for a little while is what I would call a psychological screwball comedy. It takes him several days to work out that his name is Ryland Grace and he is a microbiologist PhD who had a falling out with the academic community and found his calling as a Jr. High science teacher. Though exploration, experiments, and memory flashes, he works out that he is on a spaceship, the corpses were his crewmates, and he is on a mission to Tau Ceti to save earth from an alien algae like creature, called Astropgage, that is dimming the sun and setting earth on the course to an ice age that will begin to wipe out humanity in 30 years. Tau Ceti, which is 12 light years away from earth, is resistant to this energy sucking algae.
We get all the backstory of how he became a crew member aboard the ship Hail Mary, in flashbacks as his memories return. A big memory that returns? Project Hail Mary is a suicide mission, he will not be going home.
In the meantime, he is slowly trying to figure out how to save earth, while he does this, he sees a very weird spaceship and meets an intelligent alien being. This being (Grace calls him Rocky) comes from a world (Earid) that is in the same situation as Earth. Together, Grace and Rocky have to work out how to save both of their home worlds.
Ryland Grace is a complex character, he’s very very different from Mark Watney (I haven't read Artimis so I can't make comparisons to those characters).
The Martian points out that Astronauts are inherently noble, willing to risk their lives for science and a good cause.
Grace is not an astronaut. That's not to say that he isn't a good person, just that he is an average person. He can be all at once self-sacrificing and selfish.
Early on he is drafted into the research team on what would be called Astropgage as a science expert by Eva Strat, a woman in charge of figuring out what is going on and how to stop it.
Once he was released from his part in this research, he goes back to teaching, only to be struck by the fact that his students would be in their early forties when all hell breaks loose, and that they might die. He then goes back to Strat and demands to be part of the research again.
This back and forth happens a few times in the story. In fact, it becomes a big part of it. See, the crew of the Hail Mary were put into comas to ensure that they would not go nuts and kill each other on the 12 light-year (four years from their perspective) journey, a medical company discovered that 1 in 7000 people have the genes to survive long comas and still function when they wake up. Grace is one of those people, but he is not volunteering for this mission. It's not that he doesn't care, or even that he doesn't want to help, it's that he's scared. And who wouldn't be? But honestly? I think Grace has imposture syndrome and is generally very sensitive. He realized that his kids would suffer, after starting to teach a class, that speed him to become a part of Strat's team again. Events happen that lead him to being the only logical candidate for the science expert aboard the Hail Mary. He refused, Strat basically kidnaps him, sets the computer induce amnesia in only Grace and plunks him on board.
Before she does this, she harshly calls Grace out.
“Do you think I don’t know you, Dr. Grace?!” she yelled. “You’re a coward and you always have been. You abandoned a promising scientific career because people didn’t like a paper you wrote. You retreated to the safety of children who worship you for being the cool teacher. You don’t have a romantic partner in your life because that would mean you might suffer heartbreak. You avoid risk like the plague.” (pg. 392 Kindle Edition)
This all seems to be true, but we don't know Grace's full story. Other than a mention of one girlfriend in college, and brief mentions of friends, There is nothing in the book about his life before he started teaching. This could be because the amnesia has left those things fuzzy, but in my head, it's because he doesn't want to think about it. Maybe he had a bad family life, maybe he had *no* family life, maybe he had an early tragedy. Maybe he realized his short comings and that, no matter his talent, he just didn't have the temperament for acidemia.
He does like being the cool teacher, he does say he likes being looked up to, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. He's a *good* teacher.
I had cool teachers before I switched to home school. They weren't all good. I had one that would literally just let us mess around during class because they didn't want to actually grade papers. Cool to a kid? Absolutely! Good for education? Not on your life.
Grace isn't like that, he loves science, he loves teaching, and the kids are learning.
He doesn't like animal testing, he's emotional at the fragility of humanity. In short, in his quiet way he loves life.
He leaves his comfort zone to be a part of Strat's team because he knows he's good at what he does and he couldn't look at his students and knowing they could die when he could help prevent it. That doesn't mean he thinks he will be Earth's savior, just that he can help.
He's unwilling to die.
Usually in books and movies, this translates to coward, but really? It's not. Most people wouldn't volunteer for a suicide mission, especially one this pressure filled. "So, we need you to go into a coma, go to a different solar system, save your whole species, and then kill yourselves so you won't starve to death. We good? Cool."
You can't fault a living being for wanting to live. Plus, the other crew members had time to think it through, really decide, make peace with the decision and *then* carry through with the training. Grace? He was given the training, but Strat always said it was for the science of the mission. She was a little like Dumbledore, in that she was training him in case he had to go, but never told him it was a possibility. When it became clear that he was the choice for the vacant spot, he was given less than five hours to decide, and then was told he had no choice.
He makes noble choices throughout the book, but that one choice was not his own, because Strat was given absolute power and used it absolutely.
I can't say that Strat is a villain, either. She was elected to save earth and given the power to cut through any red tape. Handed all this authority, she doesn't become corrupt, she uses this power ruthlessly, but always with the only goal being Save Earth, full stop, that's it. And even as Grace, understandably terrified, yells at her she tells him that she likes him, that she knows that he is a good man, that he will give this  his all. She doesn't *want* to send this unwilling and scared man on a suicide mission. She *has* to. Strat is also complex, she is not nonsense and is committed to her role in saving humanity. I like the reason she gives as to why, toward the end of the book. She got her undergrad degree in history. She takes to heart the old saying that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
The climate scientists and their models assumed survival based on the idea that all countries will work together for the common goal. However, Strat points out that history shows that that ideal scenario, is not likely to work. She says that most wars, up until very recently, were fought over food, and resulting in famine.  As the sun loses energy and crops fail, there will be wars, and they will be over food. And that is what she is desperately trying to avoid – the horror of history brought to the modern day.
I started as a history major, and history is interwoven into anthropology – I understand this perspective.
I am not going to get into politics, but I’ve experienced the agonizing frustration of watching history repeat itself, more than once in the last couple of years. Guessing at how something will probably go due to how something lines up with a similar event in the past and knowing that if someone in power would just listen it might turn out different, or that the eventual problems could at least be prepared for, and watch it happen anyway and everyone act surprised. It’s enough to make you pull your hair out.
Strat has the knowledge and the authority to act on it, I can’t say, that in her position I wouldn’t act the same way.
That is the major difference between Grace and Strat: viewpoint. By necessity of her position and by virtue of her education, she sees the big picture clearly, Grace, however, doesn’t. He’s a microbiologist, his entire career and education is looking closely at the small things and how they would translate to big things. He studies the universe by studying the smallest things in it. It is no surprise that he would need the smaller things to make the bigger things to snap into focus. When he was forced to start research on astrophage, it wasn’t until he was faced with the small scale (his kids could suffer) to make him see his part in the grand scheme of things. Strat is right, he does avoid risk, because he’s avoiding pain, he doesn’t let things in because he feels too much. Yes, the realization about the kids, puts steel in his spine, but not before he narrowly avoids a break down. For Grace, seeing Strat’s point of view, without being able to work it though to his scale, is like yelling at someone standing too close to a mountain for not being able to see the peak. It just can’t be done from where they are.
It makes me wonder, had Strat been up front with Grace, would he have willingly gone? It takes him a while to come around to the idea of helping the project in the first place. If he were told sooner, given some time, had been able to go home, and think, I feel like he would have gone. Something would have set him on the course. Maybe it would have been one of his former students, telling him about their plans for trying out for high school track, or going to college,  maybe he would have gone to his usual cafe for breakfast and found out that one of the waitresses had just gotten engaged, maybe he would be told these things and see the fear and desperate need to keep life as normal as possible in the person's eyes, and then he would decide, if, on the off chance  no one else could go, he would. Until he remembers his refusal, nearly at the end of the book, he accepts quickly that he volunteered for the mission. Of course, that could have been simply because he couldn't imagine someone forcing someone into something like that, but even as his memories and sense of self come back to him, he doesn't have a sense of terror or blind panic at the fact that he's not going home. I would think that if his unwillingness were something hard wired into his personality, he would know soon after remembering who he is, that he would have never considered being a part of the voyage.
So, I think, had Strat told Grace early on that he had the coma resistant genes and that there was a small possibility that he may have to be the backup for the backup, and then allowed him to come to terms with it, he would have gone without the drama. Don’t get me wrong, there is the possibility that he would have run off and had to have been hunted down, but I think, just like when he went to his class and saw his students, something would have made his conscious kick in, and he would have come back.
That might have been interesting, him running scared for a little while and then coming back? Might have given a little more background into why he is the way he is. But that’s not really what this book is about, I think it’s a forgone about conclusion that Grace would have helped, but what’s really interesting is how Grace and Rocky work together.
Rocky is cool! I love that Weir didn’t go the easy route with the creation of an alien character. Rocky is no Roswell gray with a humanoid form. No no, for our sympathetic alien, we have a spider like creature with liquid mercury for blood who “sees” with echolocation and speaks in musical notes. And it works!!
Rocky is expressive and funny and is great with Grace. It’s hilarious, other than the Russian scientist on Project Hail Mary, he doesn’t get along with anyone as well as he does with Rocky, out of everyone in the book, Grace connects most with a spider shaped rock being, he has to make a computer program to speak with.
Rocky is a tad steadier than Grace, but that makes sense simply because of the two, Rocky knew what he was getting into, and Eridens not only have more time before their star dims to the point of causing a problem, but also, they live a long long time, so, Rocky knows he is going home. But the steadiness is also built into his personality. He and Grace are both analytical problem solvers, but seeing that Rocky is an engineer, his focus is to fix things. A problem arises, and his first reaction is “I will fix that.” He won’t be dissuaded until he has all avenues exhausted.
Grace has a habit, early on, of moping for a little while before rallying and getting to work. His interaction with Rocky brings that pouting time down a bit, and he even pulls Rocky out of a slump a time or two.
The relationship between these two is interesting because Grace says flat out that he is not a social person, he feels awkward in groups with people. But he easily communicates with his students, and he easily communicates with Rocky. Rocky is not childlike, but he does have something in common with the students, Grace, like any teacher, teaches his students, and learns from them. Grace teaches Rocky and learns from him. Grace is comfortable with this sort of interaction; with his students this is where the relationship stops. With Rocky, it doesn’t have that boundary. By virtue of the fact that both are alone in space and crave interaction, they talk a lot. Also, activities that Grace is use to doing alone, Rocky’s culture requires to be done in pairs. The biggest: Sleeping.
Eridens do not sleep without another person watching them. So, he insists that he watch Grace sleep and that Grace watches him. It is not expressly said what other things Eridens don’t do alone, but it is implied (at least to me) that they work better in pairs or in groups. This is true of humans as well, but Grace in particular is a loner, even as he complains that science doesn’t happen with one scientist doing the work (and he’s right) but he does work alone even when the astrophage project opened up to more people, the feeling I get is that he still does most of his work alone unless asked to teach others, or forced to come along by Strat.
Grace quickly becomes acclimated to Rocky’s way of doing things, in an odd way, Grace is more comfortable being Eriden, than he is being human. And I really think that this is the crux of their relationship.
I read somewhere recently that family isn’t necessarily blood, but who you would bleed for.
I feel that Rocky and Grace would sacrifice themselves for their respective home worlds, but they will bleed for each other. Grace must go to a different star system to find family, which is actually really cool to me, because the story manages to have Grace have a story of growth and even a quiet redemption arc all with the background noise of a potential double Armageddon, and we manage not to lose sight of any of these elements. Add to this that the book will make you laugh, cry and think all at once. I love the Martian, but I honestly think this one is better!
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delu-jean · 4 years ago
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐲
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(Jean x fem!/reader) -> Angst (A little fluffy in this chapter) -> 3.1k 
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Ⅱ > Ⅳ
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You felt uneasy after hearing those words, just what exactly was going to happen? 
‘Why was Bertholdt so anxious, why did he seem to be in such a hurry, were they figured out?’  you stood still after such a thought. 
What if they were? Maybe that’s why he was trying to protect you?...but then at the same time, how after all of this time? It didn’t make any sense being that those three were too good at stage play. You decided that inferring things weren’t going to help, so rather, you decided to listen to Bertholdt since his advice would. 
That being the case, you chose to distance yourself with days that came. Of course you didn’t want to doubt the three (about getting caught), but that didn’t mean you couldn’t take any precautions. You decided that not getting involved with others would lessen the chance of your loss. 
People in the training grounds tried interacting with you, but you either simply smiled them off, or went your way. You wanted to be alert as possible in this situation, that being the case, there was no time for interaction with the...enemy….
‘Enemy this and enemy that,’ you thought to yourself angrily. Honestly, at this point, your feelings about these Eldians had changed. 
You felt conflicted because now you had a visual on what these people were like. They seemed like ordinary civilians, living their lives like anyone else. The difference was, rather than living under the oppression of Marely, they were living under the rule of titans. You learned just how damaging they were to their kind, which honestly...made you feel remorseful. 
At the same time, even if this was your view of them (for now atleast), you kept on reminding yourself that they could easily turn into “devils” at any moment. Especially if they knew that you were a part of an opposing side. Yes, the same race, yet you both were so...different. You sighed to yourself as you watched Jean try to approach you. 
It was Eldians like Jean who gave you hope. While Eren terrified you, Jean did the opposite. His presence made you feel comfortable, and enlightened. Not that the others weren’t kind, it was that...Jean was different. Very different in fact. You weren’t sure as to why that was, but kept that feeling tucked away. 
You kept convincing yourself that staying away from the others was for your safety, and yours only. But you knew deep down that you wouldn’t want any of them to get caught up in such brutal affairs. Especially Jean...since he was the closest to you (out of the bunch). So, you deflected him. But you did it in a harsher manner. If you had just smiled, he would’ve been more persistent. So, you simply avoided him. 
When he approached, you walked the other way. When he waved, you would look away. When he tried talking to you, you gave him no words. Your eyes averted elsewhere (partly had to do with how anxious you were) and you tried dodging any questions. This went on for a bit until he eventually gave in and stopped trying to get your attention. You were relieved for that, yet hated the feeling. He seemed hurt by your actions, and you could tell what kind of effect they were giving. Regardless, you kept those thoughts in your mind. 
‘Y/n...you’re doing this for the sake of you, the warriors and...the others,’ (A/N: “others” being Jean fufu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) 
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Trost
The day came when you all headed to Trost. You saw, or rather, heard the scouts as they had just come back from an expedition. However, your attention wasn’t poured into that, but rather, the task ahead. Some of your comrades were sent to clean the cannons, some at the supply route, and others (along with yourself) were helping with loading things such as: supplies, food, and etc. 
Jean and Marco were also with you. You sighed carrying boxes back and forth while the two conversed behind you. Marco then left and you noticed Jean was still behind you. It was quiet for a while, but then he decided to break the ice.
“Y/n…” you don’t respond and eventually, it gets on his nerves. 
“Y/n...L/n,” his tone got more aggressive. He then snapped and started yelling.
“Y/n...Why won’t you talk to me dammit!? I don’t understand why you’re doing this, and exactly as to when you’ll stop!! You’ve been avoiding everyone, me especially! Last time I checked, I didn’t do anything, so why are you avoiding me?” 
He took a deep breath as you continued to keep your mouth shut. Gosh was he getting on your nerves. You just needed time alone until Bertholdt gave you the clear, or anything for the matter. He hasn’t talked to you ever since, and you haven’t interacted with the other two (worried something might have happened). You continued doing your job. 
“Seriously!? Y/N TALK TO ME!” 
You looked at him intensely, straight in the eye. Before you could say anything, you heard a large explosion from a far. Though it didn’t sound close, it was close enough for you to hear. Out of reaction, you grabbed Jean’s arm and started running in the opposite direction. 
“Y-Y/n!? What are you-”
“Just trust me,” you barely got that out as the bells started ringing. 
‘But how?...titans?...how did they break the wall?....” you panicked yet tried keeping your composure. 
Although you did this, you could tell Jean knew your mind wasn’t in the best condition. Regardless, you brushed it off and tried looking for the other three. In the process, civilians ran towards the direction you both were headed. Many pushed, shoved, and trampled those in front. You almost lost Jean, but he had a tight grip around your hand. That touch comforted you in the midst of this chaos. 
“WE NEED AS MANY SOLDIERS AS WE CAN GET! FILL YOUR TANKS AND GET A MOVE ON!” 
Both you and Jean ran towards the supply ruote (HQ) preparing yourselves for what was yet to come. 
You ran inside to then see others in a hurry. Filling up tanks, blasting out, and panicking all at once. You saw Armin and Eren sitting together. Armin struggled while Eren scolded. You approached the two quickly and asked: 
“What exactly is happening?” 
“I saw the colossal,” Eren responded. 
‘Bertholdt?...what the hell…’ 
“He kicked down the entrance, and now titans are flooding. Quick, fill up your tanks to max capacity. And Armin, hurry, they need us.” 
‘How...just what was he thinking?’ you then were sectioned off into different groups, spreading from there. 
You and your team were off killing titans. So far, you were able to get three successfully, but sacrificed two people in the process. Annie had glided past you at one point, a sharp stare was given to her, yet she didn't acknowledge the exchange and went the other direction. You felt frustrated not knowing as to why Bertholdt would do such a thing, but knowing she knew, made you outraged. 
Being so caught in thought, your gear then stopped working. You had to stop at a rooftop. You struggled while trying to untangle your wires, along with fixing the controls. The stress was really seeping in (which wasn’t helping). You then saw a titan approaching. It was a slower one, yet, it approached with long strides. You started to lose your composure, was this where you would also lose your life? 
You then thought about what Bertholdt said.
“Whatever you do, don’t get killed. Stay alive, and alert. Stick with Jean, Eren, Mikasa. Anyone for the matter...okay?” 
You looked around to see everyone soaring the other direction. Some gave you empathetic looks, but that was about it. No one was going to save you, and here you were left...alone. You sat there helplessly. There was no way you were going to fix your gear in time. 
“Sorry Bertholdt...I guess I’m going to break my promise-” 
Right before the titan got its hands on you, Jean swooped in and grabbed you. Your eyes widened as it almost caught his wire. Luckily, he was able to pull out a lot faster and dogged the attack. You then looked at him as he clung onto you. A couple others behind him sliced the titans' nape, giving you both time to escape. 
While you both were in the air, he helped adjust your gear correctly. He was now dragging you. Once things were fixed, you both swung side by side. He seemed very frustrated, and started yelling yet again. 
“You were struggling with controlling the wires and controls!? Y/n, that’s basic training!! How could you struggle with that in this scenario?! I’ve taught you so many times-” he then looked to see you...crying. 
Tears flowed down the side of your cheeks while you whimpered. The thought of death scared you, but the thought of him dying also...was too much to bear. If he was even a second late, he would’ve died along with you. What would you have done then, nothing. Because you wouldn’t have been able to. He was right, this was basic training, yet you failed to even complete that. No wonder why Bertholdt told you to stick with others. You thought you could get through things yourself, yet this event proved you wrong. 
You felt him put an arm around you, guiding you to a reserved building. He wrapped his arms around you as he exhaled deeply. You could feel him quiver as your face was buried in his shoulder. He sighed and ran his hand down your head to your back. 
“I’m sorry, I was being too brash. It’s just that...I could have lost you...you know? I’ve watched so many people die today, and I couldn’t imagine you being one of them,” you cried a lot harder now. Forget keeping your guard up, this was  a matter of life or death. And if that was the case, you wanted to do things according to your terms. 
You both stood there for a few minutes until you heard the others catch up. From there, he let go of you and then gave you his hand. 
“Come on, let’s go,” he grinned softly as you accepted the offer. Flying your way out. 
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---
After regrouping with everyone, Jean was then in charge of the brigade. Marco had ensured that his leadership would do them good, and so did you. Jean led you back to HQ. Some were lost during this action, but some had made it. After crashing into HQ, you could tell Jean was on edge. You wanted to console him, but before you could, you watched as he started telling off the other scouts there. 
“PEOPLE ARE DYING OUT THERE!”
“YOU COULDN’T DO YOUR JOB AND BRING OUT SUPPLIES!?” 
“THAT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO HANDLE!” 
Marco held him back as you watched him yell. You wanted to stop it, but he wasn’t wrong. If they had done their job, maybe less of you would’ve died. But instead here you were. Hundreds dead physically, and the other thousand mentally. 
While Jean was having his moment, you tried straightening yourself out. You saw Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie standing at the other end of the room. You approached them in anger, only to be interrupted by titans. Ready to grab your blades, you then saw a berserk titan on the loose. The features of it were very distinct, which got you thinking. 
“No...that’s impossible…” you then looked at the others who seemed to have similar thoughts. 
You watched (along with others) as it took down titan after titan. With that being over, Armin came over plan ready and determined as ever. 
“Okay, so this is what we need to do.” 
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You got in positions, gun ready, and watched as Jean, Miaksa, Sasha and the others positioned themselves. This was somewhat of a scary encounter, but you listened to Marco as he led the group (along with Armin). 
“FIRE!” you then heard gunshots coming from different directions, along with yours. 
You watched as one titan sprawled on the floor. It seemed as if someone had just killed it, which meant things didn't go according to plan. But that didn’t matter. As Long as you all were alive, that was good enough. You all started filling up your tanks yet again. You watched Marco and Jean have a little bonding moment. You thought it was sweet and decided to watch instead of intrude. 
Jean caught your stare and gave you a smile in return. You felt your cheeks flush a bit as you turned the other way, focusing on the task given. 
You’re sent out and continue fighting titans. You were able to get about one yourself while your team helped you with the others. Before you went, you watched as the berserk titan was covered in many other titans. 
‘That would only happen if...so I was right…’ you gazed as it ran towards another. 
The three in front of you stared intensely at the beast, probably having the same thoughts. While you four were tense, everyone watched as it took down another titan. Then, it tarnished into a corpse. You watched waiting to see who would come out of the cocoon, to see no other than… “Eren Jaegar.” 
You froze in place. Why, why him of all people? He already scared you enough, and now he had the founder. What the hell was this monstrosity? Your eyes widened to then hear Jean say: 
“So Eren...did all of this?...” 
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Time Skip  
Eventually, you saw a crowd of cadets piled up. Curious, you went to see the commotion. It seemed as if most soldiers had given up for the cause, and you couldn’t help but empathize. You understand why they wanted to leave, but you, if not all, needed them to stay. You then heard a whistle from above, Commander Pixis looked down at each and everyone of you. 
He spoke for a good moment, to then introduce Eren. You could see his determination all the way from here. Rather than petrified, you felt discouraged. It would be a challenge to get the founder from such a feisty person, that is, if you even could. You then started to pay attention to what the commander was instructing. You had one of the two choices. 
Either work with your comrades on the walls, or go and distract titans within them (meaning, in the town itself). You decided to stay cautious, and helped from above. Although that’s what you decided, you knew the others would do differently. So you picked yourself up, got into formation, and did your best when fiending off the titans. 
Eventually, Eren was able to close off the exit. “History” was made, you would say. Your throat was parched as you felt overwhelmed with the feeling of relief. You made it, and so did the people surrounding you. You made it your business to find Jean and the others. You swung all around to then see them on the roofs. You pull Jean towards your direction, flying you both to a different area. The others watched you, but you could care less. 
He seemed very flustered, and was going to say something, but you didn’t give him the chance to. Instead, you quickly placed him in another compact, yet needed hug. You felt him relax and quickly do the same. You tightened your grip each time he moved, and smiled into his coat as you said the words: 
“We did it, we lived and saved the people we could,” he seemed like he had gone through a lot, but melted into your embrace as you both sat there, together. 
“Yeah...we did.” 
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Clean up
You and Jean had parted just minutes ago. He claimed that he hadn’t seen Marco, so he wanted to go and look for him. You assured him things would be fine and he grinned. You let him go on his way, and you went yours. You had business to attend, remembering as to why this happened in the first place. You went up to Bertholdt and gripped his arm. He could tell you were furious and looked at the other two (and vice versa). 
“Okay...not here…” he whispered as you let go. 
“Okay well it better be somewhere!” 
Reiner directed you three towards an empty place. You inhaled sharply as you clenched your fists. 
“First of all, what the hell was that Bertholdt? I hear the bell to then be told the ‘Colossal Titan’ was seen. Why was I not told about this? You guys killed so many of our comrades in the process-” 
“Y/n, define ours. If anything, they sound like yours,” Reiner said as you walked up to him. You could care less at this point, as you scowled: 
“You know damn well you think differently. Stick your act up your ass when I’m not here, but as of right now, you better give the explanation I want.”  
You take a step back as Reiner stares to the side. Your anger was not something to trigger, and you made sure to display that. He sat there for what seemed like hours, as you did the same. You thought a little during this time. 
‘Wait...maybe they...maybe they wanted me dead? What else could be the reason for such actions?...’ you then looked at Reiner. Although you decided not to confront your thoughts, they didn’t confirm anything either. That was until reiner started blurting out nonsense. 
“It was last minute.”
‘If that were the case, why did Bertholdt warn me in advance?’
“We didn’t want to burden you.” 
‘Liar...you didn’t want to tell me...but why?’
“What matters is that you’re alive.” 
‘But you wanted me dead.’ 
Bad Eldians, good ones...could you even classify them as good Eldians at this point. But even worse, could you even say you were one? You knew of the warriors and their titans all along, the original plans taking place, yet here you were defending those you were “against.” At this point, you weren’t even sure where your priorities stood, and you knew too well for a fact that the three others didn’t as well. 
“Look, next time we’ll be sure to let you in. Don’t take it the wrong way...okay? We care about you, and we did what we thought was best. Now, let's help clean up.” 
He started to walk away as Bertholdt followed. You watch Bertholdt look back to then stare at Annie. You felt bad for the ordeal he was in since she walked elsewhere. But then, you felt even more sorry for yourself and the situation you were put in. 
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Ⅱ > Ⅳ
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for-ests · 5 years ago
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Lost In Your Light: Peter Parker x Reader (Part 1)
Summary: Having the power of life and death at your fingertips seems useless when you can't save the ones you love. Y/N knows this all too well, struggling to keep her abilities a secret while helping everyone she can, in any way possible. 
[AU: SENIOR YEAR PETER PARKER] [MATURE CONTENT]
Word count: 2, 060
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CASE FILE
Name: Y/N L/N
Age: 18. 
Gender: Female. 
Appearance: (Y/HC) (Y/EC) (Y/H) (Y/W)  
Mother: deceased 
Father: alive 
Emotional stability: unknown 
Abilities: FULL EXTENT UNDISCOVERED
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EXTRA INFORMATION: Little is know about natural Healing. Mutation is rare and few individuals have been found to have the ability.
Also called:
1. Regeneration
2. Power touch
3. Mend
4. Recovery
Basic Level: User can do anything that normal healing would do, simply accelerated.
Can heal minor wounds such as cuts, bruises and light burns. Recovering from minor to moderate blood loss. Critical wounds such as loss of limbs or damaged nerves and internal organs cannot be healed, but wounds can be closed. Cells that are fatally damaged, such as by burning, cannot be healed, resulting in permanent scarring.
Limitations: Healing may not be permanent.
May be limited to healing either oneself or others.
May only be able to heal non-fatal wounds.
May have limited range, including touch only
May be limited to healing only certain types of wounds or diseases.
May not work on permanent injuries or abnormal injuries that cannot be treated.
May not occur automatically, thus preventing the users from healing injuries by reflex.
May be painful for the recipient of the healing.
Side effects:
User may feel distracted, helpless, and desolate for short periods of time. Feeling as if they are searching for something they will never find.
User may experience blackouts when overworked.
User might fall ill after trying to heal something they can't.
User might die from fatigue.
User may not even know the power they are capable of.
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CHAPTER 01: LEFT IN THE SNOW
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The bright lights of Queens illuminated the water. Normally, the city would be buzzing with excitement, but all Y/N could hear were the waves crashing against the shore.
Her legs were hanging over the dock, feet swaying back and fourth as she mapped out which block to walk down. It was 2am, and she was shivering.
The nighttime breeze licked the waves, sending chills down her spine. Yet it didn't bother her, for she did this almost every night. In the exact same place, at the exact same time, where no one would be looking for her.
But doing what she did required her to renounce sleep and comfort. She sacrificed the little things to ensure the safety of others. She knew she was destined to do this, whether people recognized it or not.
Y/N pulled the scarf tighter around her neck and stood up. She tucked her phone inside her pocket and began to run. Her fingers tingled with warmth, knowing It was time. She could feel the helplessness drifting through the air.
The girl darted through the park and across the deserted street. Not even the police were patrolling at this hour. She was only able to escape because her father was a surgeon that worked late into the night.
After racing down a few blocks, she heard the first whimper echo through an alleyway. Turning sharply, Y/N turned down the street and hid, masked in the shadows.
She rested against the bricks, peaking around the corner to watch the situation unfold.
The sounds she heard were heartbreaking. With each kick, she could feel the dog’s life force fading into the abyss. The man who was kicking the animal relentlessly, laughed wickedly at its torment.
Y/N’s stomach wrenched when she noticed the infamous rose tattoo engraved on his forearm.
The Thorns were the city's leading gang in human sex trafficking and dog fighting. Queens was sadly known for the underground organizations. The two seemed completely different, but in this city, they went hand in hand. 
Each member had a rose and thorns tattooed visibly on their bodies for the public to see. And most of them watched dog fights for fun, not giving a damn what happened to the animals afterward. 
Y/N was the one who picked their bludgeoned bodies off the street.
She knew exactly how they did their business, in a back-end "spa" just a few blocks down. Everyone in the city knew it, even the police. But for some reason they turned a blind eye, which allowed for the actions this man was committing to unfold.
The girl was infuriated. The man was holding a beer bottle, pausing every few seconds to take a swig.
"Useless." He muttered before tipping the bottom up and finishing it off. "You made me lose hundreds--"
In the blink of an eye, his foot slammed against the dog's chest. Lelia barely had a moment to process what was happening.
The animal fell back with a cry, and this time it stayed down.
The girl winced, knowing if he kicked the dog again, that it would fall past the point of regeneration. She covered her mouth as blood started to drip onto the pavement.
Y/N was ready to step in, her heart hammering in her chest.
But the man seemed to be finished, satisfied with the damage he inflicted on the already helpless creature. He tossed his beer bottle into a pile of snow, turning on his heels. He walked towards her, flexing his hand. She could see it was already bruising.
She moved backwards into the darkness, not wanting to be seen.
Unfortunately for her, she wasn't aware of the snow bank behind her. Y/N's heel crunched loudly as her weight shifted. She swallowed hard after the man's footsteps halted.
"Who's there?" He grunted, the tone in his voice hinting at his intoxication. She clenched her fists, hoping she would stand a chance against this villain. Usually she was able to avoid this kind of confrontation, but tonight something seemed off. There was an unfamiliar malice hanging in the air. 
Her eyes widened as the man turned the corner, becoming visible under the lamplight. From that angle, she was completely exposed. She cursed under her breath, there was no use hiding anymore.
Y/N walked out from the shadows, trying to keep her cool and remind herself there was a life on the line. She couldn't let the dog die.
"Who the hell are you?" He looked disgusted, eyes narrowing at Y/N as she moved towards the alley. "Were you watching me?"
"Don't mind me." She pleaded, pulling up her hood to cover her face. "I wont tell anyone, just keep walking."
But fate had other plans. She knew she was asking too much of a criminal, for their code was unbreakable.
The man advanced quickly, and Y/N barely dodged his grip. She backed up in surprise, holding her stance with shaking legs. She was zero percent confident in her combat skills.
"Don't touch me!" She managed to hiss.
The stranger looked at her menacingly. She could tell he didn't like to be ordered around by a female.
"You shouldn't be in this part of town." He growled, a smirk appearing on his face shortly after the sentence was uttered. He rolled up his sweatshirt sleeves, trying to intimidate her. This was his territory.
Y/N's adrenaline started to pump wildly, she was frightened beyond belief. "Stay away.." She warned one last time, planting her feet down, ready for any punch he was about to throw at her. Y/N may not be good in combat, but she knew enough to defend herself. Wandering around New York this late at night, she was bound to run into people like him. She would be an idiot to not be prepared.
But of course he didn't listen, and instead, flung his fist directly at her face.
She ducked miraculously, watching him stumble to the side from his drunkenness. She used the split second of exposure to uppercut his jaw.
His head jerked back, and he crumpled to the ground. The stranger groaned loudly, his jaw knocked out of place.
Y/N breathed heavily, gritting her teeth as pain seared across her hand. She used the other to quickly relieve herself from the discomfort. Flexing it again for confirmation, she managed to smile. One perk of her strange ability was that she had the advantage to mend her wounds. 
She turned her attention back to the man. He was on his hands and knees, beginning to push himself up from the ground. Y/N raised her foot and cracked it down on the top of his head as hard as she could.
He fell back to the pavement, knocked out cold. She hated to inflict pain on others, but it wasn't like this man had any reminisce of good inside him. She knew exactly what he was apart of, and what he would do to her if he could. 
Y/N jumped over his limp body and rushed over to the injured animal.
The grey pit bull was in the same position the man had left it. It was still breathing, but barely. She might be too late.
"No... stay with me..." She reached her hands out and pressed them softly against its chest. Her hopes lifted as the pulse began to beat harder in response to her touch. Y/N slipped her bag off her shoulders and set the bag beside her. It was loaded with medical equipment, just in case she wasn't strong enough.
The girl rested her hands back onto the pit bull, and they burned as she closed her eyes. She poured all her emotions into the regeneration, gasping loudly as a current of power surged through her. It was indescribable. Her arms were shaking as the same pale, golden light, swirled in and around the wounds, assisting her in the healing process. She could sense the bones mending, and the muscles rejuvenating. Joy pulsed through her veins at this achievement, she was only able to create this level of mending two other times before.
But soon, the power was too much too handle, and Y/N started to feel exhausted. Sweat dripped along her forehead despite the chilling temperature. The girl worked flawlessly, running her fingers gently along the last few cuts, closing them with little effort.
She slumped forward in fatigue, the golden light vanishing into thin air.
And the alley was dark again. She took the pain away.
On her knees, the girl held her hands in front of her. She was shocked by the improvement. Normally, she couldn't completely heal internal wounds, but she felt it happen.
Ecstatic, Y/N glanced down at the animal. She examined it with an intense gaze, noticing that its ear was still gone. It looked like it had been bitten off previously.
Shuddering, she thumbed over the scar, knowing this dog was involved in a fighting ring.
She held the rest of its ear between her fingertips, wishing she could heal it permanently, but that idea was far fetched. She wasn't that powerful, and would probably never be.
"I’m sorry this happened to you." She whispered softly, her breath misting into the cold winter air. No animal deserved this kind of treatment.
The dog stirred, eyes suddenly snapping open. 
Y/N jumped back in defense, still on alert from the previous attack.
Her body was tense as she watched the dog slowly lift itself off the ground, still in a daze from the near death experience.
"It's okay." She smiled, relaxing her shoulders when she realized the dog meant her no harm. She wondered if it was smart enough to comprehend that she was the one who saved it.
Y/N bent back down to the dog’s level, and pulled out a collar and leash. "I wish I could do more for you." She sighed, knowing the shelter was the last place this poor animal deserved to go. She wished she could take it home with her, but that would be impossible. Her father would never allow it.
Standing to her full height, Y/N turned to check on the intoxicated man. He was still unconscious, and she intended to keep it that way. "Let's go." She urged the dog.
Each second she spent there was unsettling. 
Y/N and the pit bull walked together in a respectable silence until they reached the animal shelter. She gently coaxed the animal inside the rescue enclosure, leaving the leash and collar with it. She quickly scribbled a note and left it on the box.
The people who worked at this shelter must recognize her handwriting by now, regarding the dozen of other dogs she had left inside. Y/N smiled sadly at the thought, hoping she was making an actual difference, hoping each dog she saved had found the loving home it deserved. 
The girl really did feel guilty for leaving it alone, but that was also part of the job. She couldn't take every animal she saved home.
"You'll have a better chance at life here." She smiled sadly, scratching it's head lovingly. "You just have to be nice, promise me that okay?"
She held her hand out and the dog licked her. She took it as a thank you.
Y/N stared up at the sky, exhaling loudly as she noticed the sun peaking over the horizon.
Her father would be home soon, and if she wasn't asleep by then... well, let's just say that wouldn't be good.
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thank you for reading if you did! This will be a 12 part series so let me know if you’d like to be apart of a tag list! 
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ff15trashgoldenslumbers · 5 years ago
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So because this was just rotting in my drafts and I figured I’d do nothing with it...Here you go...
So five-ever ago, I was to write a story about Noctis’s elder sister, and how she would mess with the story line, but with more fun prompts appearing in my inbox and not really wanting to do a whole story that was basically a 15 chapter monster, and the fact I hardly got beyond the plot line and this ultra dramatic scene. I stopped thinking about. 
Plus when DLC came out and more info was being prepared I just kinda forgot about it, so it’s been rotting in my drafts untouched as it was originally created before I even touched the game myself.
But! Because I’m a lover of the drama,I decided to post it as the rough draft!
So set up to the story:
At age 15 the elder Princess of the Lucian family, had gone to visit Tarabene when Noctis had become injured as a kid. The young Princess grew close to Ravus over the visit, but witness the death of Queen Sylva, before she could rush to tell her Father the truth, a man with red hair stopped her and erased part of her memory.
Regis holding Noctis, and a grip on Lunafreya’s hand rush to get out of the way of the attack that is on them. The young Princess is found stumbling about the field, Regis stops long enough to notice that his daughter is fine, passing her Noctis and taking both her and Lunafreya’s free hand and rushes to safety. Upon hearing Ravus calls for help, Regis stops when both the hands he’s holding stop. Lunafreya rushes to her brother’s side, Regis goes to call out for her, only to find Noctis back within his arms, as his daughter races toward Ravus.
Only for the Princess to be snagged by the back of her dress and pulled into her father’s arms, as he starts moving his children to safety. 
Regis holding both his children leaves the battlefield, trying to ignore his daughter’s harsh cries for him to turn around.
At the age of 18 the Princess starts courting Ravus, and soon the two are wedded. Much Noctis horror that his sister would ever marry Ravus, until her realizes just how in love she is with him. The Princess promises to visit every Spring before she is to be returned to her husband.
Prior to the fall, the group is tasked to take the Princess home, when they leave they notice that the Princess is in tears as she says goodbye to King Regis something she had never done before when having to return home if anything she’s always smiling.
Throughout the trip, she is seen as the elder sister to everyone in the group. Often making certain that the others are fine, and having no troubles stopping arguments. When the news breaks of the Fall of Insomnia, she explained that Noctis is now King and that he will have to take up the arms. The others watch the kind sweet Princess become rather harsh to the red headed stranger they meet.
The Princess in order to help the others get away, gives herself over the Niflheim Army as they wouldn’t hurt Commander Ravus’s wife. 
While waiting in Tarabene for Lunafreya to appear, Ravus visits his wife…
“Ravus? Ravus!” She called rushing toward her husband, holding him tightly. “Ravus you’re here!”
Ravus returned her embrace just as tightly, “Are you all right?”
“Yes.”
He pushed her away only slightly to look her over “Were you hurt? Were you in the city? Did you…”
She stepped back slightly shaking her head, “I was not there during The Fall.” She replied, turning icy blue eyes to her husband. “I was not there in person, but I’ve seen it. I saw everything that happened.”
Ravus glanced away, those of the Lucian line had strange ties to the Gods. He was aware of his wife’s dreams, as they often woke himself out of his sleep when he was able to spend nights beside her, by the woman gasping.
“Ravus,” 
That harsh voice made him looked to her, but Gods how he hated that look of that beautiful face of his wife.
“Ravus, did you know that My Father was going to die?”
No, holding back. No pause! She was furious! Still she had every reason to be so.
Ravus stepped forward his arms held out to the woman, “I did not mean,”
“You did not mean what!” She cried stepping back. “My Father, my Father is dead Ravus.”
Ravus tried another step forward, but she stepped back again, “I was not.”
“Did Ardyn hide this from you? I ran into him, he’s out their chasing the boys, my brothers.” She barked, angry tears spilling from her eyes. “Ravus, I saw it, I saw Daddy get ran through, I saw him die Ravus, he was right there. I couldn’t, I couldn’t save him. Just like I couldn’t save you.” She cried, her tears falling hard, she sniffed knowing that her makeup was running and that she looked nothing like the calm collected woman that always stood by her husband side.
“Please, there was nothing I could,” This time the High Commander was stopped in his tracks, by the strong slap of his wife. The sound echoing through out the room.
“Did you want this? Did you want me to suffer?”
Ravus glanced to the floor, “I should have never let you go.”
“Let me go? Let me go! Ravus I know you hated Daddy, I know you did, and because of what?” She cried, you never brought this up, but it tugged at her for years and the words fell before she could catch them. “You hated Daddy because he left you on the battlefield! At the moment he was not thinking as a King or a Warrior he was thinking as a Father! Daddy rushed Noctis and I off that field, he went to go after Lunafreya too. At the time I was too young and stupid to know that, but seeing Noctis and the others on the field, I understood what he did so much more. That’s why I gave myself over.”
“I…”
She lowered her hand still raised from her strike, “Ravus I want you to replace yourself with my Father that day, I want you to pretend that for that moment it was Lunafreya and myself what would you have done?”
Ravus’s dual eyes widen, “I would protect you.”
She raised her hand, cupping her husband’s cheek that only moment prior she had striked, “I love you more than every star in the sky Ravus, you are my husband, you are my heart. When we are seperated my body and soul ache for you.” She whispered. “I just don’t know if I am in this alone.”
Ravus quickly embraced her, “I love you so much. I do not say it much, and for that I ask your forgiveness.” 
“Ravus you are my Family, and Noctis and the boys, they are my family too. Some of what little I have left. Please help me protect them.”
Ravus pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “I promise.”
After the touching reuion with husband and wife, the Princess finds herself before Ardyn, demanding to know where it is that she has hidden Lunafreya. The only answer that the Princess supplies is that “A King can move only one direction, while a Queen have full rein of the board, Chancellor.”
The Princess ends up going to Alitissa to stay with Lunafreya, knowing that the others will try and make it to the Oracle and will need Noctis to form a bond with the Goddess.
Lunafreya is determined to summon Leviathan, the Princess agrees to escort her. When meeting up with the Goddess, the Princess offers herself in place of her brother and asks to have Noctis and Lunafreya spared. The Goddess explains that the Goddess demand a sacrifice of a Prince.
During the battle, Lunafreya saves Noctis, but is left weak, (unknown to everyone the Princess freezes Lunafreya prior to the battle, casting an island on herself to take the form of the Oracle) Ardyn runs the Princess through believing her to be Lunafreya. After dragging Noctis back to safety, he constantly states that Lunafreya is fine.
When alone with Ravus, who still doesn’t understand what his wife means and where his sister is, he becomes more aggravated until the Princess turns to him, tears in eyes explaining that a Prince was sacrificed to ensure that both Noctis and Luna would survive, before apologizing that she would never be able to have children with Ravus after the one they had lost when Ardyn stabbed her.
Ravus personally escorts them to the train, while his wife keeps messing with his arm. Upon boarding Ravus states he will not, “Allow another one he loves to die, and they are to protect the woman with their lives.” 
Most of the train scene is the same, Noctis and Gladiolus butt heads. Both Noctis and the Princess chase down the fake Prompto. Only for the wound Ardyn inflicted on the Princess back in Altissa to reopen, stopping the woman from warning Noctis that the Prompto he’s attacking is indeed a fake. So watches helplessly as Prompto is pushed off the train.
When Ardyn appears, and Shiva interferes freezing and shattering Ardyn. Shiva opens her arms to the Princess, apologizing fro all the hurt that she has gone through.The Princess explains that years ago, she attempted to trade her life to spare Noctis and the others, the Gods did not want that. Upon her marriage to Ravus she would have a child of both the Oracle and King’s line. 
When Ardyn killed the child in Altissa, the Princess was granted powers similar to that of the Immortal, yet by having Oracle blood run through her, due to her and Ravus child she is immune to the darkness that swallowed Ardyn. Yet with the child gone is is uncertain of Noctis’s fate.
After the Regalia breaks down, the group becomes separated. The Princess rushes to find Ravus, and manages to stop Ardyn from taking over the man. Going after Ardyn herself, she teleports Ravus away to Luna. As a last ditch effort the Princess summons a large amount of power before exploding,seeming to kill herself and Ardyn.
The Chocobros believing her to be dead are in shock, only to be confused when she pulls herself from the rubble, more worried about them than herself as she embrace them tightly quickly falling into a comatose state from the drain of power. Only to be awoken the crystal’s power, jumping from Gladiolus’s arms, she manages to grab Noctis’s arm, before being thrown back by the crystal. The woman crying and begging the crystal to take her instead.
After 10 years have pass, Noctis returns yet the Princess dawns a battle uniform, telling Ravus to remain with a frozen Lunafreya. Explaining should she pass the ice will shatter. She mets her brother fro the first time in 10 years. Protecting the others with her magic. She explains none can kill Ardyn but Noctis.
When Noctis moves to ascend the throne and bring back the sun, Princess takes his spot, calling to the gods, “I am first born of the line, the throne is mine. A prince was given up as you wish, and for I am the rightful rule of this line it is mine, Come to me!”
The gods not truly able to argue as they had taken a Prince of Lucian blood, an Oracle child, and that the Princess was first in line for the throne, she had never given up the prophecy would stand.  So they run her through, through tired eyes, she smiles to the others before falling.
The Queen falls, so that the King may live offsetting the Prophecy as a Queen was never expected.
During the epilogue, as Noctis ascends the throne to a new built Insomnia, he is shocked to see Regis and his sister standing there awaiting him. The Princess steps forward resting her forehead to his with a soft smile of, “Long live the king.”
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alternativewinxcontinuity · 4 years ago
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Margarita
Home World: Eraklyon (Born in Isis) | (Father is from the lagoon planet: Laugos)
Purview: Fairy of Pearls (Fairy of that which is hidden by 'beauty' or gilded, has a manifest preference for pearls)
Hair Colour: black with an iridescent sheen (purple and blue)
Eye colour: amber-brown
Skin: peachy-beige  
Height: 5 foot something (in heels)
Personality Key Words: polite, accommodating, five-seconds-from-feral, sharp/prickly
Hobbies: diving for treasure (sometimes treasure is a handful of pearls, sometimes it's getting to see a fun looking fish)
Favourite Foods: has a secret love for soft, stuffed fruit-buns
Pixie: N/A
Mother and Early Life:
Margarita comes from a mixed background, born to a single mother in Isis after a brief affair which her mother, Sabbia, believed to be the start of a long lasting relationship, Margarita has always felt the weight of her mother's expectations and desire for a better life for them both.
Their family line has had only weak fairies, and those have been spread out over the generations. Sabbia, was the first fairy of any real strength but her familial duty kept her home bound and helping with the old inn their family runs instead of learning more than the basics about her powers.
During a treaty summit roughly 16-18 years pre-series, the inn hosted the King of Laugos and his entourage, and Margarita was conceived, but Sabbia was left behind when the party returned to their own world.
Her mother pushed Margarita to embrace all the chances Sabbia had missed in her youth, and become the best fairy Margarita could be.
(And also with the hope Margarita's father would acknowledge her existence.)
Unfortunately for Margarita, this push for excellence hits unhealthy levels of obsession for her mother, something Margarita is aware of, but she doesn't feel like she can get out of her current circumstances without throwing everything her mother has ever sacrificed for Margarita back in her face. (And she believes she has nowhere to go.)
Margarita plans to get a well paying job that will allow her to take care of her mother and repay everything Sabbia has ever done for her, but one that will also take her away from her mother frequently. (Academically, logically, Margarita knows she shouldn't have to pay her mother back for doing the basic motherly steps of raising her own child, but beyond just feeling beholden to her mother, Margarita has some genuine affection for Sabbia which makes it difficult to keep an emotional distance.)
As a result of Sabbia's drive for Margarita's success, Margarita had very little social life as a young child which left Margarita feeling forever out of step with her peers, only her experience helping at the inn gave her the (customer service) ability to interact with others in a way that makes her seem personable.
Her academic achievements meant Margarita was always at the top of her class and often somewhat ahead, which helped her to secure scholarships to Eraklyon's premier school to study magic.
Which is where she met Diaspro.
*
Academia and Diaspro:
The two young women have been fighting each other for the top spot in everything since they first took the same exam.  Despite driving one another ever harder, they recognise a kindred spirit, both of them throwing away their own desires (not that they’ve ever really had the chance to figure out what those are exactly) to strive for unobtainable perfection.
They share a mutual, if grudging respect for one another, and any time another student comes close to replacing them at the top of the score boards, they close ranks and study together. (“If someone's going to beat me, it had better be you! I won't lose to some nobody!”)
The high stress of always having to maintain perfect grades and be friendly (if not friends) with everyone is extremely taxing, and Margarita often feels like she's on the edge of a complete meltdown.
*
Biological Quirks:
As a fairy from a long line of strong fairies associated with the elemental idea of earth and stone, Diaspro has a higher than average natural strength which Margarita will never match.
As someone who has a parent from Laugos, Margarita's body has a more efficient respiratory and cardio vascular system which allows her to run for longer and endure less hospitable air qualities better. (and dive for longer without spell assistance.)
Of course, Margarita can't shake off being thrown through a brick wall as easily as Diaspro.
And there's a down side to Laugossian heritage.
Laugos is called the Lagoon planet, it is covered primarily by lagoons and shoals, the surface water in most areas is often only 50 - 100 metres deep, though there are some sections of ocean which are said to be dozens of kilometres deep. (The furthest down most people go is 5 kilometres, which is half the depth of the Marianas Trench on Earth.)
The people of Laugos live in the shallows of the ocean, in crystalline under water cities, their eyes are adapted for extreme glare and constant shifting of light.
Margarita's eyes aren't able to handle the light like a pure-blooded Laugosian would, but her eyes aren't Eraklyon standard either, and occasionally she wears glasses or contacts to regulate her eyes' photo-sensitivity.
*
During the Series:
Margarita has never been Sky's biggest fan, finding out about the events of the Day of the Royals had her ready to commit treason and beat him to death with his own arm, but she decided Diaspro need a sympathetic shoulder more.
*
After Diaspro was kidnapped from her own palace while attending her princess duties, Margarita told Diaspro that she'd developed a theory:
M: “Weird things have been happening to you in the past few years, and it always seems to be while you're off doing your princess things, and therefore I miss them. I propose, you stop going places with out me, because I am clearly the anchor your life revolves around, nothing bizarre has ever happened to you around me, so for your own safety...”
D: *starts laughing and doesn't stop for several minutes* “Yeah, sure, that's how I get my life back on track”
M: “Well if you're going to be sarcastic, see if I ever help you again.”
D: “No! Come back! I need you to help me make 'Queen Consorting for Dummies'.”
M: “... what for?”
D: “urgh, Bloom. Sky's dating her, probably wants to marry her, which means she needs to know everything I know, and she has far less time to learn it in.”
M: “Your making her a cheat guide for Consort studies? Really? Her?”
D: “Sure, why not right? It's my duty as the Heir of Isis to ensure Eraklyon is in the best capable hands, which means making her hands any kind of capable. It's just duty. It's not like she ruined my life, stole my purpose and destroyed my entire sense of identity!!”
M: “... I don't know exactly when I became the calm, stable one in this relationship, but I hate it.”
*
Shortly before Valtor broke out of the Omega Dimension, Margarita received a summons from her father requesting her help.
Prince Litore, the heir to the throne had been injured and cursed in an attack by an ancient sea witch who had suddenly crawled out of the depths of Laugos's ocean, from a place called “koiláda tou thanátou”, (lit. “Death Valley”) the deepest chasm in the ocean floor which few have ever gone into, and which none have ever returned until now.
Margarita was called because her father had known of her existence, but never planned to acknowledge her, until the witch returned. Their ancestor had been a Guardian Fairy who'd defeated the witch before locking the tool she'd used away so it couldn't be misused, and only a fairy of her bloodline could free it.
Margarita is, of course, the only known fairy of her bloodline currently alive available. And naturally the Prince can’t be un-cursed until the witch has been defeated, so she absolutely has to do that while she’s there retrieving the witch-be-gone-device anyway.
By the time she's finished and able to return to Eraklyon, Diaspro has already been banished.
(Which makes Margarita laugh in hysterics, because she's just gotten herself perma-banned from Laugos for punching the king in the face after he acted like they'd done her a favour for calling her, rather than her doing Laugos and the royal family a favour by showing up and risking her life to save them.)
Margarita agrees that she could see how people would think so, but she's 100% certain Diaspro did not roofie prince Sky of her own free will. Not that Margarita can ever prove it one way or the other because the Eraklyon Royal guards stonewall her attempts to investigate.
*
Margarita's Father:
You may have guessed, Margarita's father is the King of Laugos.
Unlike with her mother, Margarita has no mixed feelings about her father and thinks he's 100% a piece of garbage (and not even the classy kind you're supposed to recycle).
She's also 78% certain she has more siblings than Prince Litore, who she thinks is arrogant and naïve, but not a complete loss if he can get his head out of his ass.
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littlesliceofmarvel · 5 years ago
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Manipulating a God | chpt. four
Synopsis: Trying to break the information out of Loki during the attack of 2012 wasn’t exactly the easiest task, but it was a challenge you were willing to take head on. So, what happened when a master manipulator tried to get information from the God of Mischief?
Series warnings: Swearing, mentions of violence, blood and gore
Pairings: Stark!Reader x Loki
A/N: sooooo. i am sooooo sorry it has been so long. there have been many personal/school/work issues the past few weeks and i have neglected this. :( But, I am back and very excited to continue. So, i hope you all enjoy and thanks sososo much for you patience i love you all. xoxoxoxoxo
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Since agreeing to the case of investigating Loki, the entire team had been throwing tidbits and important information your way any chance they could get.  You told them you were listening, jotting down everything in your mental notepad, but honestly, you were more confident about the whole thing than they thought. Thor was the only one who seemed to believe you could handle it yourself. Of course, he didn’t view Loki as a murderer the same way everyone else did, but he was also the one who really knew what Loki was capable of.
Thor told you a lot about Loki’s history and childhood; a frost giant, taken in by Odin, given the impression that he could eventually rule, living in incredible self-doubt, all that jazz. Small, personal things you hadn’t found on Google. You debated questioning him about the whole ‘Loki fucking a giant wolf’ thing but figured that that wasn’t information you needed - nor wanted - to know.
Tony on the other hand wanted to stop you as best as he could. He even tried locking you in your room once or twice (or five times.) Of course, he was fully on board with dragging Loki through verbal (and probably physical) Hell to get information that was desired, but he was worried you would fall victim to his lies and lose your mind, and in his words ‘have a Joker-like descent into madness.’
You couldn’t say you had the same vision, but we all know Tony can be quite the drama queen.
Steve, who you now trusted more than you thought you could, told you he’d be there for you if ever you needed help. Apparently being a part of the second World War could help this situation, so he offered you some strange advice on how to hold your ground. Your favorite, for example, was; “if ever he tells you he’s going to be a wonderful ruler, don’t trust him, Hitler said the same.” Steve had good intentions, sure, but his constant reminiscing made you feel as if you were a child listening to their grandfather speak about how ‘getting to school was so much harder in my day.’
Natasha, who was quite trained in the field of manipulation as well, gave you some tips she learnt in her mysterious past - some of which you already knew. Always form a connection. Listen to them. Don’t put them down if you want them to trust you. Simple things that worked wonders. Things you had used before, mostly on Tony, but they worked either way. 
Sure, Loki was of another world, and he was the infamous God of Mischief. So, he had an obvious advantage over you, and you’d admit, a part of you was worried that he wouldn’t fall for you tactics and eventually be the one to drag you down to the deep dark depths. But, you were willing to take this challenge head on and nothing was going to stop you. For now, at least. If ever Loki dug his claws into your lungs to the point where you were gasping for breath and surrender was the only option, you’d opt out. But your goal was to not let it get to that point.
You hadn’t actually gotten the chance to speak one on one with Loki since his capturing, but Fury gave you a rundown of his so-called ‘prison’ chamber to ensure your safety. Which button to press if Loki went ballistic, where the security cameras were hidden out, which button to press to drop the cage - the basics. He also told you there’d always be someone listening in at all times, so if ever there was danger and you somehow didn’t sense it, you wouldn’t be alone.
But finally, today was your first day in getting to start breaking him down, and a part of you was slightly looking forward to it. On the countless times you had used your manipulative tactics to gain information from people in order to save your slightly self-sacrifical brother, none of it felt like it was up to the standard of actually being of worldly, even grave importance. The information you were trying to get from this guy was going to be do-or-die, and the sadistic side of you was slightly exhilarated at the thought.
“Alright, Y/N, are you ready to start? Remember, I’ll be watching everything,” Fury warned as if you were his daughter and about to go hang out with someone of the opposite sex for the first time.
“Yes, dad, I know you’ll be watching,” you reassured him, following him into the room where Loki was being kept, the loud thud of your overly-eager footsteps startling the man at the computer when you entered the room.
The dark, circular room was surrounding by computers, machines, pipes, wires, anything technological that you could think of. The only light source, though, seemed to be coming from the glowing white cage in the center of the room. The overwhelming scent of metal was almost aggressively jabbing at your nostrils, but you weren’t too affected - this is what Tony usually smells like after his Iron Man expeditions. You eventually turned your attention to the man standing in the center of the room.
When your eyes landed on him, you ended up staring more than you wanted. He looked so much worse than the first time you saw him. His pale, white complexion looked almost green, the deep indent of his eyes and cheekbones resembled the deepest craters and the pale blue of his eyes dulled down to a lifeless grey. His hair was messier, the little points at the end no longer bouncy, almost looking discouraged. You know, if it were possible for hair to have that emotion.
Fury had dismissed himself quietly and walked back out the same door, leaving you and Loki glaring at each other. You could tell he was reading you the same way you were him. His long cloak stayed put on his shoulders, but somehow, it looked just as dead as the rest of him. 
“So, is this the best Fury has to offer?” His sultry voice spiked your ears, and you almost forgot you were here to actually speak to him, the staring contest feeling like it had lasted eight years. 
“If anything, I think I’m the best Fury has. Period.” You shrugged, eyeing the small metal chair placed in front of his cell. You slowly walked over to it, fully aware of the God’s undivided attention following your every move. 
He chuckled lowly at your comment as you sat down, “So, to what do I owe this insufferable thrill?” 
Insufferable thrill?
“I’d like to think of myself as an angelic pleasure, but whatever suits your fancy,” you replied, crossing your legs and leaning back against the cold metallic chair, brushing past Loki’s insult. 
Remember: don’t let him affect you.
“Why are you here?” He quipped, the teasing tone of his voice gone as he sat down in his cell, eyes boring into you as he searched for his answers.
Your mind thought up of something to justify your presence, “Uh - is it true you fucked a giant wolf?”
Smooth. Real smooth. 
“Where did you hear this?” He asked, slightly more amused than he had previously been. His lips formed upwards into a subtle smirk, slightly confirming your question which once again, you didn’t really want an answer to. 
“Never mind, uh, I actually have something serious I want to ask you,” you brushed past your initial awkward question, trying to set the tone that you were going to ask the questions around here and not the other way around. 
He raised his hand as if to say ‘go ahead,’ leading you to proceed with your so-called interrogation.
“What’s the interest in Earth?” You found yourself asking, out of both curiosity and in following with Fury’s plan. Loki leaned back against the glass, crossing his arms as he took in your question.
He seemed to ponder, “Have we not gone over the cockroach metaphor--”
“Yeah, yeah, we have,” you rolled your eyes, “but seriously, out of all the galaxies and planets that have life and resources, what is it with out little home that’s caught your specific attention?”
His face seemed to drop slightly as you said ‘your’ - almost as if referring to the attack as ‘his’ had somehow upset him. He looked down to the ground, uncrossing his arms before making eye contact once more.
“Earth has something - something very valuable, priceless, something we’ve been looking for.” 
If you didn’t know better, you’d think his tone was somewhat luring - as if he wanted you to ask for more information, but at the same time, wanted you to stay away from the details. It didn’t really make senseYou scanned him with your eyes once more. His body was slouched, showing vulnerability. If anything, this was way too easy. He had to be playing you somehow.
“What have we got that you want? Obama? Maybe some chicken wings?” 
Loki scoffed, “No, you dim-wit. Something much more valuable than some Earthling. Or  cheap food. Besides, your puny human brain wouldn’t be able to comprehend the power that I could find here.”
You made a mental note to bring that exact quote up to Fury later - the tone of Loki’s voice led you to believe there was subtext or some sort of hidden meaning that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 
“And what is this ‘power’ you speak of? Spill the tea, Loki,” you responded, leaning forward in your chair to listen better. Sure, you could hear just fine from the previous position you were in, but your subconscious says otherwise.
“As if I’d tell you,” he rolled his eyes once more, “I know Fury’s sent you here just to get information from me, but it won’t work that easy, I know they’re all listening in.” A smirk made its way onto his lips as he caught onto your act.
You knew Loki would catch on to what you were doing eventually - I mean, you were here to get information, and that was obvious, but a part of you felt as if you had already failed your little quest and it hadn’t even been ten minutes. But honestly, what else was he supposed to think with you coming in here and asking questions? You were here to get information.
Struggling to find your next words, you started laughing. Loki raised an eyebrow in confusion, looking around to check if there was some sort of joke he hadn’t seen.
“Ha, you think that’s why I’m here? To just wait around and work with what you’ve got at your pace?” you toned down the laughter slightly, regaining your breath, “Please, we wouldn’t go through that much trouble, we just want you dead. Or gone. Fury’s already planned the ten thousand ways he could behead you. No, no, we’re not that desperate, nor are you that important. I’m here because once I get framed with murder for ripping you apart, I’ll be able to justify it.”
Loki’s smirk dropped, the amusement disappearing from his eyes, “What did you just say to me?”
Chuckling once more, you raised an eyebrow at him, “What? Don’t like it when someone talks back to you, Mister Hot-Shot?” you leaned back in the chair, “Get used to it.”
Loki let out a sassed-filled sigh, dropping his shoulders as if he had been scolded, and started to mumble what sounded like, “No, it was just unnecessary.”
Now it was your turn to scoff as Loki took offence, looking like a small child who had been denied cookies before dinner. Your amusement spiked at his behaviour, his avoidance of eye contact being the cherry on top. 
“You’re such a child,” you remarked, the unmissable pout disappearing from his lips, his eyes snapped back up to you as he stood up to defend himself.
“A child? Please, I’m over a thousand years old, have experienced wars, loss, have wrecked havoc - I have seen things your eyes can’t even begin to comprehend, and I am a God,” he was now right in front of you, of course separated by glass, but intimidating nonetheless, “Do not refer to me as a child--”
“You don’t have to be so touchy,” you smirked, standing up as well, “Sit down.”
Not used to taking commands, Loki blinked multiple times as he registered your words, practically discarding everything he just said about himself. Silently, he sat back down, leaving you to mentally swim around in victory.
“Now, here’s what’s going to happen, Loki,” you placed your hands behind your back (you felt like Fury) as you started to walk around the circular cell, Loki’s eyes glued to you, “You are going to tell me what’s going on. I don’t care how much you think your honour and God-liness is going to prevent that - I will eventually get the answers I’m looking for. Now, you can either cooperate and get yourself sent safely back to Asgard - or we can do this the hard way - and believe me, with a team of enhanced superheroes who have a lot of fucking built-up anger and long-lasting unresolved issues, I can’t see that as being fun for you. Unless, of course, you’ve got some sort of dark sadistic torture kink, that is.”
You had made your way around the whole cell by now and were standing by the door, Loki’s eyes still stuck on you like flex tape, his mouth slightly open. To say you were basking like a champion would be an understatement. You felt over the fucking moon right now, having left the God of Mischief speechless on your first day of your mission. His lips formed into a smirk once he caught up to what you had said. 
A small smirk formed on your lips too as you turned away, “Anyways, I need to go eat, my stomach’s been gurgling for a while now, so whenever I return, you can feel free to give me what I’m looking for. Have a lovely evening, Loki.”
You swayed in pride as you walked out of the room, Loki not uttering another word as you disappeared from his sight. Part of you felt as if you could have stuck around a little more to apply a bit more pressure, but at the same time, you didn’t want him thinking you were giving him all of your attention. He’d probably love that too much. 
Making your way back into the main control room, you noticed Tony, Steve, and Thor huddled around the table, probably having watched your encounter with the dark-haired man. Fury stood not far away, hands clasped behind his back, his eye on you as you entered the room.
“How’d I do on my first day, boss?” You asked, a small smile playing at your lips. Fury sighed, looking over to Tony who had now stood up.
“Well, you were only in there for twenty minutes, so it was short--” Fury began speaking until he was cut off by Tony’s obnoxiously loud voice.
“I didn’t realize how much of a badass you were, lil sis,” he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, leaning in to say the last part to you instead of yelling it to the whole room, “You make me proud.”
You chuckled, leaning in to his touch, “Gee, thanks big brother.”
“As I was saying,” Fury regained your attention, “It was short, but effective. You’ve left him thinking.”
Fury pointed to the screen which displayed the room you were just in. Loki was sitting in the same position, his eyes still glued to the door that you walked out of not five minutes ago, that damed smirk still on his lips.
“What can I say? I have that effect on men,” you smirked, a strange wave of confidence coming over you from who knows where. Fury groaned slightly, ignoring your comment. Tony played the exact same reaction.
“You’ve messed with his mind, that’s a good first step. But, you’re going to have to be more logical than emotional from now on. You got this.”
You grinned, patting Fury on the shoulder as you made your way to the small array of snacks on the table. You couldn’t lie, a part of you was left thinking about Loki too. You didn’t really like it, but at the same time, it helped you process what had just happened. You remembered the mental note you had made to yourself while talking to Loki, but figured you’d bring it up once your stomach got food. Fury’s ears were probably dealing with a lot right now since Maria just dragged him away, blabbing about some computer errors.
Thankfully, someone had brought out some food (finally) and you were grabbing just about everything you could - salad, crackers, cheese, whatever was in front of you. If this was what being aboard the helicarrier brought you, maybe you could live with it. 
For now, you continued to think about what you were going to go over with Loki tomorrow, and hoping that things would work out much better now that you stood your ground. 
You were proud of yourself too, in all honesty. Loki’s shock to your statement might have just been some sort of game, but at the same time, you had the guts to say it. That’s what mattered, and that’s what was important. 
Fury’s words echoed into your head as Tony started a conversation with Thor about how hotdogs weren’t sandwiches. 
You got this.
Damn right, you did.
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Taglist 
[Message me to be added - if you’re in bold it means I somehow wasn’t able to tag you, apologies!]
@appleappleton @what-a-fantasy @the-girl-of-many-fandoms1414 @brighteyedmichelle @leasly @cassiopeia-barrow @jay-the-mothafuckin-gay @themusingsofmany @bambamwolf87 @thefandomzoneisdangerous @cyberskeletonhandsbat @ultracarpediemfan @vgirl-10123 @bangvateez @leximills666​ @littleredstarfish​ @blue-spider-official​ @what-a-fantasy​ @hello-lemons​ @yandereforyou​ @hippityhopitygetoffmyproperty​ @godhateskyleigh​
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heroicadventurists · 6 years ago
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Avengers Endgame: Black Widow **SPOILERS**
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I have been waiting for weeks to give my thoughts on Avengers Endgame.  At this point, the film has grossed $2.49 B, so now is the perfect time for me to give my opinion on what I consider a very controversial subject…..the death of Black Widow.
Going into Endgame, I was fully prepared for some major character deaths.  My two top contenders were MCU staples Iron Man and Captain America. 
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The death of Black Widow was shocking, but that’s not what really bothered me about her demise.  I am very disappointed that after everything was said and done, Black Widow did not receive a memorial befitting of her character.
Let’s backtrack for a moment. It didn’t really hit me that Black Widow or Hawkeye would die until they arrived at Vormir.  Once they realized one of them had to be sacrificed, they fought to save the other person’s life.  In the end, Black Widow made the sacrifice to save her friend and brother in arms.  Hawkeye was understandably devastated.
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When Hawkeye returned to Avengers Tower sans Black Widow, the responses were expected.  Her collegues were clearly devastated, but it was business as usual, as reversing the snap was the main priority. 
Fast-forward to the final battle.  Iron Man tricks Thanos and obtains the Infinity Gauntlet.  Iron Man snaps his fingers wiping out Thanos and his forces.
During Tony’s final moments, he had a very touching moment with Spider-Man, War Machine and the love of his life, Pepper. After the dust settled down, Tony had a proper ceremony at his cabin in the woods.
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I think the farewell Tony received at the end of the movie was beautiful and well deserved, but what about Natasha. I’ve seen the argument that Iron Man is the bigger character so he deserved the proper send-off over Black Widow, but I strongly disagree.  They both deserved proper send-offs, especially from a storyline perspective.  Besides their professional relationships, Black Widow had healthy personal relationships with her teammates. They really missed a moment at memoralizing the First Lady of the Avengers.
If we go back to the beginning, Natasha first showed up in Iron Man 2 as Natalie Rushman.  She was an undercover spy for S.H.I.E.L.D posing as Tony’s assistant.  She basically helped Fury recruit Tony and ensured his safety throughout the movie.
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After that, Natasha became a staple in the MCU, appearing in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America: Civil War and all four Avengers movies. She even had a brief appearance in Captain Marvel.
During her time in the MCU, we learned about her close sisterly bond with Hawkeye and his family, she developed a romantic relationship with Hulk that ended before it could truly begin, and she had a sisterly relationship with Captain America. She also had good working relationships with Iron Man and Thor (initially siding with Tony regarding the Sokovian Accords).   In short, they would honor her.
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Even during Endgame, she was the glue trying to hold the Avengers together, monitoring the World’s activities.  Tony was living his life at the lake with Pepper and his daughter Morgan; Clint became an anti-hero and was killing crime-lords; Bruce became Smart Hulk and a pseudo celebrity; and Thor became a drunk and spent his days playing video games on New Asgard.  Only Steve checked in regularly with Natasha at Avengers Tower whenever he wasn’t leading grief counseling sessions. 
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Natasha has been a staple in the Avengers since day 1, and when the going got tough she was at Avengers Tower while everyone else were doing their own thing.
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I write all this to say that Natasha deserved better.  Natasha was loved. She was understanding, compassionate, loyal and would die for her team. Correction, she died for her team. To her team she was just as important as Tony, just in a different way.  Heck, Tony locked half the team up in Civil War.  Fortunately for us fans, this isn’t the end for her character in the MCU.
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wclsh-a · 5 years ago
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CHARACTER STUDY META.
so, this is mostly a post for my followers who aren’t familiar with twd / shane walsh, and are wondering what kind of character he is. please note that i’m writing this based on how i personally view shane, so some of this might not be actual canon, although i try my best to stick to canon as closely as possible. however, even if you are familiar with shane as a character, i’m hoping this post will give a bit of an idea of how i write shane. anyway... putting this under a read more bc it got kinda long
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alright, let me talk about my portrayal of shane walsh for a moment. shane is a guy who starts out being neither entirely good nor entirely bad. i feel like when it comes to shane, a lot of people see him as either or, but what i love about the walking dead is that most of the characters aren’t just all ‘good’ or all ‘bad’. the so-called “good guys” of the series actually do bad things at times, and the “bad guys” of the series actually do good things at times, or at the very least comes off as good at some point or another.
and with shane, he kind of goes through a change throughout the first two seasons. he starts off more on the scale of a “good guy sometimes doing bad things,”  but as the series goes on, things gets more and more blurred for him to the point where he ends up more as a “bad guy sometimes doing good things.” i’m not going to go into too much details about what brings about this change, but tl;dr; after believing his best friend, rick, was dead, shane fell in love with and entered a relationship with rick’s wife, lori, and after rick turned out to be alive, lori left shane for rick, while rick basically took over the leadership of the group that shane had been leading and kept safe up until then, and so shane started to blame rick for putting their group in danger and people in their group getting hurt and killed from rick’s decisions (or at least shane sees it as rick’s decision making being the fault,) and shane also struggled to accept and come to terms with how lori was suddenly treating him like he had only been hurtful to her and carl and acted like she never even cared about him to begin with and told him to stay away from them, etc.
.... anyway.... that whole thing’s a mess so i’m not gonna go into that any more in this post.
from before the outbreak, all the way up to when rick came to the atlanta camp, and even a little after rick showed up, shane was shown as someone who cared about people and their safety. some might disagree here, and bring up scenes like where shane refuses to go after and help the people in their group who got stuck in the city as shane not really caring. but when you look at it, the people in the group that was still in camp with shane, was people who either a) was old b) didn’t know how to use a gun / how to fight c) got frightened / terrified / panicked at the sight of walkers and / or d) were just kids. to take any of them into the city where they knew walkers were in large herds in an attempt to save the others? to shane, that seemed more like sentencing them all to death. shane also knew that those in their group who was in trouble in the city was more equipped to handle themselves and had a better chance at figuring out a way to save themselves, and also since shane and the others weren’t able to stay in contact with them over the radio due to poor reception, shane had no guarantee that they would even stay where they were by the time shane and the others could’ve reached them if they did try to go after them. all in all, shane had plenty of reasons to not try to help them, and no reason aside from it ‘being the right thing to do’ to try to help them. 
it’s not that he didn’t care or didn’t wish he could help. to him, it just wasn’t worth the risk.
some examples that he did care about others than himself, is how he selflessly put his life at risk to try to help his best friend, rick, who was in a coma at the hospital during the outbreak, and, when he realized there was nothing he could do, he still put a bed against the door to the room rick was in, in a desperate last hope of a miracle that rick could somehow survive. another example, is how shane looked after carol and sophia, even more so after noticing how carol’s husband abused his wife. he always made sure to check up on them, and when carol apologized on behalf of her husband for something her husband did, shane assured her she had nothing to apologize for. and when he finally caught ed in the actual act of trying to abuse his wife, shane intervened and brutally beat him up, warning him to never lay a hand on anyone again. another example is how he looked after jim when he had a sunstroke, making sure he stayed in the shadow, and got enough water and was able to cool down, and when jim got bit, how shane was one of the people who expressed that he didn’t want to kill him and that it didn’t feel right leaving him behind even though jim had asked for it himself. 
one thing i’ve noticed is that shane constantly talks about his disapproval when it comes to taking risks that puts the group’s safety at jeopardy, and i mean, if he truly didn’t care, he wouldn’t constantly worry about putting the group’s safety at risk.
that being said...
he also has a lot of flaws and issues. 
shane has a mindset where he thinks he’s always right, and struggles to understand other people’s opinions if they’re at odds with his own, even after hearing them out. this goes back to even before the outbreak, but it wasn’t as noticeable back then as post outbreak, as he was more willing to “agree to disagree” in order to maintain the peace, because back then, disagreements rarely meant the difference between life and death, so he could live with swallowing his own pride more easily because it rarely came at much of a cost, whereas decisions after the outbreak often did...
this mentality, especially on top of his strong desire to keep the group safe, can quickly bring out a lot more negative sides to shane when people start disagreeing with him. best case scenario, he’ll think you’re just a naive idiot who he doesn’t much care for or care to listen to (this is usually the case if he thinks you don’t have much influence / power over the rest of the group, like with dale.) worst case scenario, he’ll look at you as a great danger to the group, one that needs to be dealt with to keep the rest of the group safe (this is usually the case if you are in a leadership position, like with rick.) either way, people disagreeing with him can quickly lead to shane becoming frustrated, hotheaded, etc, especially after rick takes over leadership of the group and he starts to feel everyone shift towards supporting rick and no longer listening to anything shane has to say.
also, while shane wants to keep the group safe, he is not always a person you can rely on if you ever get yourself in a pinch. in fact, chances are he’s not going to be willing to risk himself or others to come back for you, unless there’s a really goddamn good chance of success or at the very least a really low risk for others getting hurt / killed. and even then, he’ll be hesitant about it.
he has also proven to be willing to sacrifice a good, decent person to save himself and someone in his own group, as proven when a man not in their group, named otis, accidentally shot rick’s son, carl, and carl ended up needing medical supplies to survive. so when shane and otis went out to get said supplies, and got crowded by a herd as they tried to leave, otis rescued shane, however shane ended up shooting otis in the leg to draw the herd to otis, giving himself an opening to save himself and get the supplies back to carl. he didn’t take any pleasure in doing it, and struggled with it afterwards, but he justified it to himself by the fact that sacrificing otis had ensured that shane had managed to get back with the supplies and thus saving the kid.
shane also has a whole bunch of other issues that are connected to his dynamics with rick and with lori, which includes an obsession with lori, jealousy of rick and lori’s relationship, a growing hatred / resentment towards rick ( partially because of said jealousy, but also partially because he genuinely thinks that while rick has good intentions, he is a danger to the group, especially since the group seems to blindly put their faith in rick and has stopped listening to shane at all.) but that’s a whole different story and this post is already getting too long, rip
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littlemisssquiggles · 5 years ago
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I was watching Phoenix/Night’s chapter 11 review video, he had ideas of what’d happened to Oscar. One of them was that maybe he was able to get away from Neo and try to run away from her but he wasn’t fast enough to get away and somehow got captured by her. I assume that Neo took him to the Vault of the Relic of Creation where I assume the Oscar vs Neo fight is gonna happen. I believe it’s gonna parallel the Raven vs Cinder fight in V5, a fight for the two relics. What do you think about that?
Hey Chels. Hmm…I’m not sure about the vault part, fam.
Even if Neo managed to take Oscarhostage, why would she take him down to the Vault of the Winter Maiden? As faras the audience is aware of, Neo (and by extension Cinder) doesn’t know thewhereabouts of the Vault within Atlas Academy. Nor is she aware that Oscarknows about it either. While I agree with the part about a potential fight downin the Vault, I doubt it’ll be between Oscar and Neo. For me, I’m moreexpecting Oscar and Ironwood to have a confrontation either down in the Vaultor on the way to the Vault. My assumption is that Ironwood went down to theVault and is probably waiting for Winter to join him down there once she’sclaimed Fria’s power. That way Winter would open the Vault for Ironwood so thathe could use the staff’s power to hoist Atlas Kingdom into the orbit; removingthe kingdom and its citizens from Remnant.
However, my presumption on whatmight really end up happening is one of the following few concepts--
Ironwood will be waiting down in theVault for Winter only for Cinder to show up instead to challenge him for theStaff. A fight then breaks out however Ironwood is unfortunately overpowered byCinder who had the strength of two Maidens on her side after successfullyclaiming Fria’s power for herself; confirming much to Ironwood’s despair thatWinter Schnee---his right hand and top operative---had been killed by one ofSalem’s very own. Cinder then goes to kill Ironwood but he’s saved from neardeath by Oscar and Ruby arriving down in the Vault. Oscar then instructs Rubyto take the injured Ironwood to safety while he tries and stop Cinder fromtaking the Staff. A fight then breaks out between Oscar and Cinder, rekindlingthe fateful rematch us Pineheads have been itching for.
The alternative to this is Ironwoodwaiting for Winter down in the Vault but Oscar shows up. Since the othersalerted him of the General’s intentions, Oscar attempts to talk some sense toJames but at this point he’s too far gone. He won’t listen to reason. He eventrains his gun on Oscar. But just as it appears as if the two were going toclash, Cinder arrives down in the Vault to claim the Relic.
As a third alternative, Ironwoodgoes down to the Vault to wait for Winter. But as he enters the vault he isbemused to discover a narcissistic Cinder Fall already waiting there for himwith the corpse of Winter Schnee in one hand and the remains of a dismantledPenny Polendina in another which she wickedly lays at Ironwood’s feet; as if togloat of her accomplishments. A fight ensues between the two. At this time,Ruby and Oscar arrive at the Vault in an attempt to stop Ironwood. But as thetwo Rosebuds arrive down the Vault they are met by Cinder who has alreadysucceeded in gaining the Relic of Creation. With the staff in her hand, thingsget a bit topsy-turvy as Atlas begins to fall out of the sky as a result of thestaff’s removal leading to Oscar and Ruby to fight gravity and a dual-powered MaidenCinder for the Staff as a means of stopping the collapse.
Those are just a few ideas I have. Eitherway, my headcanon remains that Oscar willbe the one to fight Cinder in the end. I have a feeling that V7 endgamecould parallel V3 with Oscar sending his allies away to safety while he staysbehind to prevent Cinder from claiming the Relic of Creation. This way I canimagine Oscar embodying both Ozpin and Pyrhha--ensuring that his friends---thepeople he cared for and whose lives he was more or less entrusted with---madeit out alive before moving forward to do whatever he could to stop Cinder; evenif it meant sacrificing his own life to stop her. The last time, a Wizard ofLight challenged Fall Maiden Cinder, they lost. The last time Oz stood up toCinder, she killed him and that was back when she only had one Maiden power.
Somehow I kinda like the concept of Oscar challenging Cinder and avenging Ozpinby being the one to put a stop to Cinder. I don’t know what the CRWBYWriters’ plans for Cinder are. But in the event that V7 is to be her final curtain call, I feel like it wouldbe fitting if Oscar was the one tofinally do so.
@moondrop04, I know I told you Ididn’t like the idea of Oscar sacrificing himself for his friends. However I’vehad more time to think about it and now I can actually picture it beingsomething Oscar would do as a testament to his bravery. This doesn’t mean thatI think Oscar will die though. Nah. If anything I expect Oscar to fight Cinderand survive. I like the idea of Oscar sacrificing himself to try and stopCinder just like Oz. Who knows? Perhaps,in a similar fashion to V3 with Pyrhha, Rubyends up going down to the Vault just in time to find Cinder about to kill Oscar. At first she suffersdifficulty to summon forth her Silver Eye power as a result of the fear Saleminstilled in her in regards to her mother’s death by her hands. It’s a momentwhere Ruby finds it impossible toclear her mind long enough to think of positive thoughts to protect everyone.So in that moment, Ruby does the just thing. She basically emulates the advicethat Other Dimension Peter Parker gave to Miles Morale about becoming a hero inSpiderman: Into the Spider-verse.
“…Youcan’t always just think about saving everyone. You have to think about saving atleast one person first.” 
Or something alongthose lines since I’m paraphrasing here. Sobasically that’s what Ruby does. She thinksabout Oscar; how much he’s proven to care about her and their team sincethey met and the way he made her feel. Because in that moment, Ruby wasn'ttrying to save everyone. All she wanted to accomplish in that moment was protectingOscar. Because in that moment, saving him was all that mattered and she was notabout to let Cinder Fall kill another friend she loved ever again.
Soin a nutshell, Ruby is able to summon her Silver Eyes at full blast which issuper effective again Cinder who shrinks back from being exposed to the light.As Cinder lunges for Ruby, she is finished by Oscar who lands the final killingblow. Imagine if… crystalized stalactites with the the Vault. Perhaps Oscar could use the magic of the Long Memory to cause oneof the stalactites to fall on top of Cinder, crushing her before she could getto Ruby.
Notsure how to feel about Oscar killing someone, even if it is a villain. I don’twish for a repeat of what transpired with Bumblebee last season with AdamTaurus now with the RosegardeningRosebuds. I’m not even sure if Cinder will actually be killed off. I’mstill waiting to see what the PLOT does with her especially since we’resupposed to learn more about her backstory at some point for this arc trilogy.Regardless, still wanted to toss the idea on the table.
As I said to @daggerpawstudios inanother, I’m starting to like the idea of Oscar trying to get away from Neo. Soin that regard, I agree with Phoenix/Night. However where I deviate is that Ilike the idea of Oscar not being kidnapped at all. My headcanon is that Oscarsuccessfully escaped Neo’s attempt at taking the Relic off of him and iscurrently somewhere else on Atlas premises trying to get as far away from Neoas possibly. However V6 highlighted Neo being able to mask objects with hersemblance (as she did with Mistral airship), my idea is that currently Neo haspoor Oscar trapped in an illusion where he’s been attempting to find an exithowever Neo has disguised all the exits as dead ends, making Oscar think he wastrapped with no way out and with no way of getting in contact with his comradessince Ironwood locked off communication within the hero group.
I like this concept since it’s aninteresting way to show off Neo’s cunningness as a villain while additionallytesting Oscar’s resolve. I dig the idea of Neo messing with Oscar psychologicallythrough her illusions, making him believe he was all alone trapped in a maze ofher creation with no way of finding his friends. 
What’s more terrifying is thatNeo could also disguise herself as any of Oscar’s female allies, inclusive ofRuby. Oscar wouldn’t know where to turn and who to trust since, in Neo’sillusion, he wouldn’t know what’s fake from reality.
It’s cool since it provides an opendoor for Oz to return and guide Oscar in the same manner as he did back inArgus. Not to mention that it also provides an opportunity for Ren to debut hisevolved semblance. 
Imagine if…JNR hasbeen trying to find Oscar too but Neo’s illusion winds up confusing them aswell and keeping them from reaching Oscar until Ren reveals a new ability thathe’d been developing all season where he can possibly locate Oscar’swhereabouts by locking onto his emotions specifically. 
I really do that have afeeling that Ren might play a role in finding Oscar; especially in the eventthat he’s stuck inside an illusion that’s keeping him trapped inside and anyoneelse trying to find him outside. 
I like this concept a lot and I think I’llkeep that as my main hunch for RWBY V7CH12 until the episode debuts.
~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)
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