#he also would have torn life and death asunder if it had taken her from him

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Wen Ning came back wrong.

He was still gentle. He was still sweet and shy. Wen Qing’s soft-spoken little brother, with his big, dark eyes. Shy and awkward around people he didn’t know. Too shy and too awkward to get to know almost anybody. Ever-eager to help, ever-willing to offer kindness to anyone willing to take it. The same as he’d always been.

But Wen Ning came back wrong.

He’d been frail and fragile when he was younger, and timid and spineless when he’d grown. He’d needed Wen Qing to protect him, helpless and weak as he was. She’d tried to bully him into standing up for himself, but mostly she’d tried to shield him from the harshness of the world. He was so naive, so idealistic, so oblivious to the darkness in other people. Her brother, always so afraid. Her brother, who did as he was told, who trusted her to make decisions for him. Her brother, who never ever talked back.

His defiance started with Wei Wuxian, but it didn’t stop with him. Wen Ning had been apologetic and guilty before, when he went against her orders. He’d at least had the shame to wait until she turned her head before he broke her rules. Since his resurrection she hasn’t been able to get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t even pretend to listen to her. He refuses her, now, quietly but unquestionably, and no amount of arguing will convince him to stay where she can see him, where she can take care of him, where she can keep him safe. He goes where he pleases, and she cannot hold him.

Which means Wen Ning came back wrong.

He used to waste so much time with his bow, hours and hours shooting targets when he should have been helping her brew medicine. Now he spends his time testing his new and terrible strength. He tears ancient trees from the ground root and all. Shreds the training dummies Wei Wuxian builds for him into kindling, and when Wei Wuxian makes them sturdier Wen Ning hits them harder. She stands on the edge of the wards surrounding the Burial Mounds and watches Wei Wuxian layer talismans around the boulder they’re using as the target’s head, chattering about the strength of helmets and the density of the human skull, how much pressure it takes to deal lethal amounts of damage through armor. Wen Ning reaches out and, almost casual, crushes the boulder into so many chunks of debris. Wei Wuxian sputters and laughs. Her frail little brother flexes his pale, clawed, deadly fingers, looking oh so very pleased with himself.

He hunts. He patrols their settlement with a lethal kind of control in his movements, coiled-tight and waiting. He rips resentful creatures apart with his hands. Wei Wuxian asks if he’s ever killed a human before, during the war or the camps, before his death. Wen Qing wants to say of course not, because Wen Ning is her brother and her brother was not a killer, could not be. Only Wen Ning had tilted his head to the side, bird-like. Kneaded his fingers against the edge of the table like he was finding his grip on a weapon. Asked why Wei-Gongzi wanted to know, and nodded earnestly when Wei Wuxian mentioned needing a bodyguard for his trip to Lanling.

Wen Ning came back wrong.

Wen Qing can’t figure out how. Can’t describe it, exactly. No one else seems to notice or care. Their sweet a-Ning, their gentle, kind, soft-spoken a-Ning. He’s still here. He’s still right here.

But Wen Ning came back wrong.

He came back wrong.

He had to have come back wrong.

Because if he didn’t… then Wen Qing never really knew her brother at all, did she?

[zapreportsblog]

HAHA i'm back again hi srry my mind is overloaded with ideas😭😭😭

can you do volturi (or just the kings idm) x newborn reader who has the power of life and death inducement (platonic or not idrc) Who doesn't love an extremely overpowered y/n HAHAHHAHAHA ik i do!!!

❝your end and your beginning ❞

✭ pairing : volturi x reader

✭ fandom : twilight

✭ summary : (Y/n) awakes as a freshly turnt vampire and the first thing she wants to know is does she have any cool powers? So with the help with her the other guards she finds that she can does indeed have powers and ones that the volturi are lucky to have on their side

✭ authors note : well welcome back then

✭ twilight masterlist

The darkness enveloped her as she lay motionless, suspended in a realm between life and death. (Y/N) had always been aware of the existence of vampires, the elusive creatures of the night that haunted the realm of myths and legends. Little did she know that soon, she would become one of them.

Her journey to this otherworldly existence had begun weeks ago, when she was selected by the three vampire kings themselves. Chosen for a destiny she couldn't fathom, her life had taken an unexpected and perilous turn. The transformation had been agonizing, a relentless torment that seared through her very soul. It felt as though her very essence was being torn asunder, only to be rebuilt with newfound strength and power.

The moment she awoke anew, (Y/N)'s senses were immediately heightened. The world was no longer shrouded in darkness; instead, it was bathed in an eerie, crimson glow that revealed details she had never noticed before. Every sound was amplified, every scent a vivid tapestry of the world around her. The hunger, that insatiable thirst, clawed at her throat.

Her first instinct was to test her newfound abilities. She needed to understand the extent of her power and how to control it. Pushing herself to her feet, (Y/N) hesitated for only a moment before making a decision. She would call upon the other guards chosen by the kings, her comrades in this new existence.

With a thought, she summoned the twins, Alec and Jane. They appeared before her like wraiths emerging from the shadows, their expressions a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"What is it, (Y/N)?" Alec inquired, his voice like a whisper of silk.

"I wanted to know if you could could train me,” Alec raises a brow at her as if he knew there was more to just this training she suggested and urged her to continue, “And I also wanted to see if I had any abilities," she replied, her gaze determined. "I want to see what I can do."

Jane nodded in agreement, her crimson eyes locking onto (Y/N)'s. "Very well, let's see what you've got."

As they began to train and test her newfound powers, Felix and Demetri approached cautiously. These two were seasoned guards, their loyalty to the kings unwavering.

"May we join the training?" Demetri asked, his tone respectful yet inquisitive.

(Y/N) considered their request for a moment. She was well aware that their skills were far superior to hers, and she had much to learn. "Yes, but only if you promise to train me," she responded, a note of determination in her voice.

Felix cracked a half-smile, revealing his sharp fangs. "We'd be honored to help you, (Y/N)."

Underneath the oppressive weight of the castle, the dungeons sprawled out like a dark labyrinth. This was where the guards typically trained newborn vampires, where stone walls bore witness to countless battles and training sessions. As the chosen guards of the three kings, Alec, Jane, Demetri, and Felix led (Y/N) down into the depths of the castle, guiding her through the dimly lit corridors.

Felix was the first to speak as they descended into the dank underground chambers. "This is where we hone our skills, (Y/N)," he said with a sly grin. "Prepare yourself for a taste of true vampire training."

(Y/N) met his grin with a determined nod. She had come to embrace her new existence as a vampire, and this was her opportunity to prove herself. Felix's offer to be her training partner was a challenge she eagerly accepted.

"Alright, big guy," she replied, her eyes flashing with excitement. "Let's see if you can handle me."

In an instant, the cavernous training room became their arena. The shadows danced around them as the others stepped back to watch the clash of strength. Felix and (Y/N) circled each other, their eyes locked in unwavering focus.

The fight began with a blur of motion. Felix lunged at (Y/N), his movements fluid and precise. She countered with agility and speed she had never known before, dodging his attacks with grace. Their movements were like a violent ballet, each one testing the other's limits.

As the battle raged on, Felix's immense strength became apparent. He was relentless, his blows powerful and calculated. (Y/N) had to rely on her agility and quick thinking to avoid being overpowered. But she refused to give in, her determination burning brighter with each passing moment.

Then, in a split second, Felix managed to land a powerful blow, sending (Y/N) sprawling across the stone floor. She grunted in pain but quickly pushed herself back onto her feet.

Felix chuckled, a deep rumble that echoed through the chamber. "Not bad for a newborn," he taunted.

The taunt hit a nerve, and (Y/N)'s emotions flared. Her anger, intensified by her newfound vampire abilities, surged within her. With a flick of her wrist, she sent an invisible force toward Felix.

Time seemed to slow as Felix froze in place, his eyes wide with surprise. He stood immobilized, as though trapped in a momentary stasis. The others watched in astonishment as he teetered on the brink of balance before finally collapsing to the floor.

Demetri's incredulous expression mirrored the bafflement in his mind. He had seen countless battles and faced numerous opponents, but what he had just witnessed left him bewildered. "What even just happened?" he muttered, his voice tinged with confusion.

(Y/N) stood over the immobilized Felix, her heart pounding in her chest. Panic began to creep into her as she tried to wake him, shaking him gently, but he remained unresponsive. "Felix, come on!" she pleaded, her voice trembling.

Her attempts to rouse Felix only escalated her panic. Desperation welled up inside her, and she could feel the powerful emotions threatening to spiral out of control. She glanced at Alec, who had been watching the scene unfold with a concerned expression.

Alec stepped forward, his eyes locking onto (Y/N)'s with an intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. "I need to numb your emotions," he said firmly.

(Y/N) nodded, unable to speak as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Alec extended his hand, and a soothing wave of calm washed over her. It was as though a heavy fog had settled in her mind, dulling the frantic panic that had taken hold.

Demetri, still bewildered, retreated from the training area to alert the kings about the unexpected turn of events. Meanwhile, Jane approached Felix, her crimson eyes focused. She reached out with her own unique power, attempting to rouse him, but there was no response.

She persisted, her brow furrowing in concentration, but it was as though Felix had been locked in time. The others watched, tense and worried, as minutes passed without any sign of change.

Finally, the kings, Aro, Caius, and Marcus, accompanied by another formidable vampire, entered the training chamber. Aro's eyes, which seemed to miss nothing, scanned the scene before him.

Alec, sensing their presence, withdrew his powers from (Y/N), allowing her to regain control of her emotions. She gasped for breath, still shaken by the events.

Aro, with his perceptive gaze, turned his attention to (Y/N) and inquired gently, "My dear, what happened here?"

Trembling, (Y/N) recounted the events that had transpired—the fierce training with Felix, her newfound power, and the inexplicable immobilization of her training partner. Panic threatened to overtake her once more, but Aro's calming presence held her in check.

Caius and Marcus exchanged knowing glances, while the other vampire in their company observed with keen interest.

Aro stepped closer to (Y/N), his voice soothing. "You have a unique gift, my dear," he said, his tone filled with a mixture of curiosity and intrigue. "One that we have never encountered before."

Aro's crimson eyes gleamed with curiosity as he watched (Y/N) closely. His fascination with her newfound ability had not waned since their encounter in the training chamber. He decided to delve deeper into this enigma and turned his attention to the other vampire who had accompanied them.

"Scan her, and tell us what you find," Aro ordered, his voice smooth as velvet.

The other vampire, whose power lay in the ability to discern the presence or absence of abilities in other vampires, stepped forward. Their eyes met (Y/N)'s, and in an instant, their expression shifted from curiosity to astonishment. Their eyes widened, an unprecedented reaction that had never occurred during their countless assessments.

Caius, growing impatient, broke the silence. "Well, speak already! Is this the doing of a gift, or are we wasting our time?"

The assessing vampire nodded slowly, their voice measured. "Yes, it is the result of a gift," they replied, their tone filled with a mixture of wonder and uncertainty. "But it is unlike any gift we have ever encountered."

(Y/N) felt a pit of dread forming in her stomach. The anticipation in the room was palpable, and she couldn't bear the weight of their scrutiny any longer. "What... what is it?" she stammered, her voice quivering.

The assessing vampire hesitated, their gaze still locked onto her. "It appears that (Y/N) possesses the unique gift of life and death," they explained carefully. "She has the ability to both end and restore life to a vampire, even when they have been incapacitated."

A stunned silence fell over the chamber as the revelation sank in. Aro, Caius, and Marcus exchanged incredulous glances, while the other guards looked on in a mix of awe and uncertainty.

(Y/N) felt her heart sink as the implications of her power became clear. Her mind raced back to the training chamber and the moment when she had unintentionally restored Felix to life after immobilizing him. She had never meant to wield such a gift, and the consequences of her actions weighed heavily on her.

"I didn't know," she muttered, panic lacing her voice. "I didn't mean to..."

Aro raised a calming hand, his expression thoughtful. "There is no need for distress, my dear. Your gift is a remarkable one, and it may prove invaluable to the Volturi. We shall train you to control it and ensure that it serves our purposes."

Despite Aro's reassurance, (Y/N) couldn't shake the guilt that gnawed at her. She had unintentionally brought back a fellow guard, altering the course of events in the most unexpected way.

(Y/N)'s heart raced with a mixture of fear and curiosity as she watched Felix being led away by Alec and Jane. She couldn't help but worry about what lay in store for her, especially after learning the true nature of her unique gift.

Turning her gaze to Aro, she voiced her concerns. "What's going to happen to me?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Aro's smile remained serene as he responded, "Nothing to worry about, my dear. You will receive training to harness your abilities properly, and you will become a valuable asset to the Volturi."

Relief washed over (Y/N) at Aro's words. She trusted the guidance of the Volturi, despite the unexpected turn her life had taken.

Her gaze drifted to Marcus, who had remained silent during the discussion. His eyes held a deep understanding, and she couldn't help but ask, "What happened to Felix?"

Marcus sighed softly, his voice gentle as he replied, "It appears that when you used your abilities on him, it not only ended his life but also brought him back in a human state."

(Y/N) was stunned by this revelation. Her gift had the power to bring a vampire back to their human state? It was an astounding discovery, one that left her with more questions than answers.

The assessing vampire who had revealed her gift's nature stepped forward to explain further. "It's a complex interplay of life and death, (Y/N). When you unintentionally ended Felix's life and then brought him back, it seems to have triggered a transformation back to his human state."

Aro, his eyes gleaming with fascination, absorbed this information with a calculating expression. He said nothing but appeared to be pondering the implications of her gift.

(Y/N) was still trying to process the extraordinary turn of events. She hadn't meant to turn Felix human, and the fact that her abilities had such a profound impact on him left her bewildered.

"I didn't know," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse.

Aro, ever the observer, spoke softly, "My dear, your gift is a wondrous discovery. It may hold secrets and possibilities beyond our current understanding. Rest assured, we will study it further."

(Y/N) couldn't shake the overwhelming desire to see Felix. She had unintentionally changed his life, quite literally, and the weight of that responsibility weighed heavily on her. With the kings' permission granted, she was led to the room where Felix was being kept.

As she entered the room, her eyes widened in amazement. There he was, Felix, sitting on a bed and looking every bit like a human. It was a sight she couldn't have imagined, and it filled her with a mixture of awe and remorse.

Felix looked up as she entered, and a warm smile spread across his face. "Well, look who it is," he greeted, his voice tinged with amusement.

(Y/N) couldn't help but feel a rush of gratitude that he wasn't holding what had happened against her. "Felix, I'm so sorry," she said, her voice filled with sincerity.

He waved off her apology with a chuckle. "No need to apologize, (Y/N). It's not every day you wake up as a human after being a vampire for so long. It's... an interesting experience."

Feeling a surge of relief and happiness, she couldn't contain herself any longer and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. But in her excitement, she momentarily forgot her newfound strength.

Felix winced, his face turning slightly red as he struggled to breathe. "Careful there," he managed to say through strained breaths.

Alec and Jane, who had been standing nearby, quickly stepped in. "Easy now," Alec cautioned. "Remember, he's human, and you have to be more delicate."

(Y/N) released her grip on Felix, her face flushed with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, Felix. I forgot."

Felix let out a hearty laugh, his humor infectious. "No harm done," he assured her, his smile never fading. "Just reminds me how much it sucked being a human."

As the three of them shared a moment of laughter

The harmonious laughter between (Y/N), Felix, Alec, and Jane was abruptly interrupted as the door to the room swung open. Aro entered, his presence commanding immediate attention. His smile remained charming, but there was a hint of business in his demeanor.

"My dear (Y/N), I'm afraid it's time for you and the others to leave," Aro announced, his voice carrying a note of finality.

(Y/N) exchanged a worried glance with Felix, uncertainty gripping her. "But what's to happen to Felix?" she asked, her voice quivering.

Marcus, ever the one to speak the truth, stepped forward. "Felix is a valuable member of our guard, and we cannot afford to lose him," he explained. "He will be changed back into a vampire."

Aro nodded in agreement, adding, "It is the only way, my dear. Felix will return to his duties, and you will continue your training. We have a destiny to uphold."

(Y/N) felt a mixture of relief and sadness wash over her. She had grown fond of Felix in the short time they had spent together, and knowing that he would be changed back into a vampire was bittersweet. She nodded, her understanding clear.

The three of them, Alec, Jane, and (Y/N), prepared to leave the room, but not before one last look at Felix. His expression was a mix of gratitude and determination, ready to embrace his role in the guard once more.

As they exited the room, (Y/N) couldn't help but feel a sense of responsibility weighing on her. Her unique gift had brought about both wonder and challenges, and her journey among the Volturi was far from over. Felix's transformation back into a vampire was a reminder of the complexities of their existence, and it was a chapter in her story that would shape her path in ways she had yet to discover.

[pyrophoricc]

FFXIV Write 2024 (Day 1) - Steer

[Big Endwalker spoilers below the cut]

Bheel had never entirely gotten used to the sea.

Riding aethereal currents? That was fine. Dancing upon fissures of ground torn asunder? His body was well accustomed to the balance of such things. And yet the sea still made his gut churn and his legs wobble. Normally, he stared out towards the horizon, in equal parts to soothe his stomach and to pray that land would appear upon it. Today, however, was windier than most, and he watched the helmsman grappling with the ship’s wheel with a curiosity that sufficed to deaden his tormented senses, somewhat.

The man wrenched the great wooden contraption to the side, steering the hulking ship as if it were a child’s plaything. But Bheel could see the way he tensed, and how tendons stood out against the flesh of his neck. Not even the smallest movement came without effort. And yet, directing the course of the boat and every life upon it, the helmsman persisted.

What would it have taken, Bheel wondered, to apply such force and will to his own life? He had long thought himself a sailor but had come to realize in recent months that perhaps he was more so the ship. Someone else was always at the helm.

His encounter with Venat had not been the reunion that he believed she had anticipated it to be. There had been something maternal about her, yes. Something that told him that she expected something tearful, almost joyous.

But Bheel was sick to death of mothers.

His own had raised him to be, first and foremost, a daughter. That hadn’t stuck, and it had made her angry. He had failed her in that regard and had also failed her in what she believed to be his familial role: To be a weapon, a guardian of the home, one who twisted life and death into a force that repelled the outside world and kept them safe. What safety was it, though, that came at the cost of so many others?

He wondered about that often, these days.

So he had fled from the shackles of daughterhood, and believed himself to be more than a weapon in the hands of those with something bigger than him to protect. But he had never escaped that, had he? Minfilia had seen in him a primal-killer. Venat had seen a son, of sorts, certainly. But more than anything, she had seen a capacity for violence in the guise of sainthood. Every step he had taken had been charted by someone else, every movement wrenched into place by those seeking some greater destiny.

He was tired.

He sighed. The winds had started to die, and a younger sailor brought the helmsman a tankard of water. He downed it, laughing as an approaching companion clapped him on the back and let out a jovial “Well done, lad!”

Bheel ran his hand along the ship’s guardrail. The helmsman was deserving of praise, certainly. He had directed the boat admirably, kept it on course, kept those within secure. But the ship itself had never wavered, either. Even as her rudder strained against the tide, as the waves beat against her wooden flanks, she had survived. Despite everything, she remained.

And so did he.

Bheel whispered his thanks to the wood and stared once again out at the horizon.

[companionsofthedasreacts]

[DA:O] Since I like to headcanon that my Warden and Hawke dies in the AU where Corypheus wins, how would the Origins companions react to the Warden dying? (Romanced and not)

Hello Anon and first off, are you okay? Do you need therapy? Tissues? That AU is a horror show I erase from my mind but the pain of everything is also kinda something I like to imagine so here we go! (I didn’t put Shale in there since I haven’t done a PT with their DLC and I didn’t put Wynne there since Asunder reasons qwq)

“A hero to the end, that’s what they were. We can’t ever let the world forget that.”

Alistair: (As King) He received a letter from the Warden stating their intention to battle Corypheus a few months prior to that cursed day. It was nothing out of the ordinary from them and Alistair never suspected it. He wrote back to them and offered his troops only to be turned down with the simple statement “Keep your hoses and men, might need them for cleanup!” and after that, Alistair waited to hear word of their victory. The news of their death was what he received instead. It was a letter Alexius sent him and all the King of Ferelden managed to do was to throw the letter in the fire, unable to believe what he had just read. And yet, when he received a torn fabric he knew was part of their garments, Alistair could only close his eyes and accept that he had lost his friend. The same way he had lost Duncan. Looking out of the balcony of his palace, Alistair thought of Redcliffe, of the Tevinter magister sequestered in the Arl of Redcliffe’s palace, of the Venatori’s increasingly frequent appearances and he makes a decision. It was time to rally the troops once more and once more, a Grey Warden must rise to lead these people.

“No...no she can’t be- you can’t be serious-”

Romanced: She promised him that she would be back. That he wouldn’t be left alone. This was why it was impossible for him to believe the mere words of a Venatori who came to proudly announce the death of his love. Alistair may have adjusted to life as King but his escape and sanctuary was her. She was his safety and comfort and now, the darkspawn had taken that from him. Wasn’t that just what was expected of them though? When Riordan had told them that a Grey Warden would die defeating the Archdemon, it was something he came to accept that death was the inevitable path of the Wardens. And yet the ache never left, the grief, the anger, the hate. Soon, his advisors would find him bent over his desk, poring over documents, military plans, rations, even looking over shelter plans and escape routes. When asked what it was he was planning, Alistair would carefully roll up all the documents littered all over his study and he would look at his advisors as if seeking something from them. For a month, Alistair would stay silent, refusing to succumb to the near-crippling grief of losing his Queen, his best friend, his beloved. In that month, he had sent out letters to whoever can be reached by him and when the end of that month comes, Alistair announces his plan. He shall be leading Fereldan forces along with the remaining Grey Wardens that he could find to fight against Corypheus. This was what she would have wanted, he reminded himself. She was always so righteous, so heroic, this is the least Alistair could do in her honour. Corypheus most likely sought to break him...Sad to say, he failed. 

“I suppose I should have seen this one coming. No matter, I’ll see to it that you’ll be remembered. I know I will.”

(As a Warden) He was in hiding when word got out that Corypheus had killed his friend. For a few moments, he didn’t want to believe that. That was his Warden-Commander, after all and they killed an Archdemon and everything. That should have made killing them into an impossible task. But that doubt stayed only for so long before he accepted it. He mourned his friend and wanted nothing more than to honour their memory but at the same time, he needed to get to the bottom of everything. He had already seen the corruption among the Grey Warden ranks and decided that he would finish his goal the same way his friend had wanted to finish theirs. The world’s likely going to end - again - but there’s some Grey Wardens left that weren’t corrupted. There was still him and he would see to it that neither his best friend’s mission nor their memory would be left in the dust. He may not have a memento of theirs like how he has Duncan’s shield but the knowledge the Warden existed, that he was there to see them grow into such a powerful person was enough for him to never forget them. They had been there for him in his grief after Ostagar and his heartache after his sister’s rejection. No one could tell him his friend never existed. So for the sake of keeping the rest of Thedas safe - or at least his odd corner of it - and to finish what his friend had started, Alistair finds himself continuing in following the trail he had left off.

“I hope you weren’t planning on taking on all of this by yourself. Remember? I’m right here, love.”

Romanced: They both made promises to each other regarding their safety. Letters whenever they could make it, signs of life, reminders and reaffirmations of each other’s affections. That had become routine for them. As time passed, Alistair noticed her letters lessening but he understood that with both of them on different missions with differing goals, he didn’t always expect her to respond or give him ten pages’ worth of recounting. It wasn’t until she sent in a long letter explaining that something odd was happening and that she will be investigating the suspicious activities that he grew worried. He sent word to her that he was coming out of hiding to join her and hurried out of his safe house. If his love was uncovering something dangerous, something that might kill them, Alistair refused to let her run into the risk by herself. It wasn’t too hard for the grey warden to find his commander what with her still trying to give him hints of her whereabouts and him recognising each landmark they had passed by. This was why when he saw her galloping off towards Orlais’s borders, Alistair sped up his own mount. He called out to her and they would fight over whether he should have remained in hiding or not. At the end of the day, she would be held in his arms as they camped for the night and Alistair would try to ingrain the feeling of her body pressed flush against his. The moment Celene is assassinated and Orlais falls, he stands with her as they unsheathe their weapons together. He would look at her, her face set in determination and also a painful acceptance that there would be no surviving this and Alistair would let out a slow breath. “I love you.” He would tell her one last time. She would then look at him and smile though it was tinged in premature grief. The years were kind to them in their love and affections never waning but they were no longer those naive children believing the world will always be righteous. They now knew better. So they would stand together until the end. She was the first to die and Alistair found himself screaming at the sight of Corypheus’ dragon shaking her corpse like a ragdoll before unceremoniously throwing her at his feet. Grip tightening on his sword, Alistair charges forward.

“You had killed the best of us. Don’t think I will ever forget that.”

Leliana: News of the Hero of Ferelden’s death reached her ears as Alexius’ prisoner. The guards would taunt her, constantly reminding her that the Hero of Ferelden, her dearest friend, was now gone. She heard of their last stand, their brave battle against Corypheus’ forces, but in that very same breath she would hear her friend cursed and mocked. Her heart becomes nothing more than stone and all she could feel is a numbing hatred as a vow forms within her. They will be avenged and the world will remember their name even if she must carve it into the very core of the earth to remind them. 

“You took everything from me. Do you honestly think that I would bend to your whims now that you took them? You are gravely mistaken.”

Romanced: When news came to her that her beloved, her lover, her best friend, her best half had been killed in the battle against Corypheus, Leliana refused to believe it. How can she believe such slander? This was her beloved, the Hero of Ferelden they were talking about! Her lover would never fall under such circumstances. In all her years of knowing them, of loving them, Leliana had seen their strength unparalleled and she knew it cannot be them. Not them. Never them. It wasn’t until Alexius sent someone to her to present a lock of familiar hair with dried Andraste’s Grace blossoms braided in said locks that she was forced to see what she refused to acknowledge. Leliana remembers breaking that night. Screaming, trying to fight the soldier that served the monster who had taken her beloved away from her only to be struck down and spat on. And then at night, bitter tears would stream down her face until no more tears can be shed. Their memories together were the only mementoes she could keep now for ever since her capture, all her belongings had been stripped away from her. The eyes that looked upon her with adoration, the lips that would curve upwards into a loving smile as she sang, those arms that embraced her with a tightness that reassured her of their presence, all those memories were the only things she had left of her beloved Warden and yet, even as she tried to cling onto those memories, certain features begin to fade. First was their voice, their laughter, their words; then came their face shape, whether or not they really had a scar on their face or not; finally, she forgot the feeling of their touch. Was their skin smooth? Rough? Was their grip on her waist gentle or firm? It had been too long. Leliana screamed and cried for each forgotten part of her heart. Come the light of a new day she cannot see, Leliana made a vow: Corypheus and his minions will rue the day that they had torn away her heart and left behind the Spymaster all too willing to destroy their world for destroying hers first. They took everything from her. She only wants to return the favour.

“’twas all my fault in the end. Perhaps all their greatness made me forget...they were also once nothing more than a mortal.”

Morrigan: She was among those that had survived the downfall of Orlais. She had fled with Kieran after Empress Celene was assassinated and returned to hiding in forests or moving through various parts of the eluvians in hopes of remaining hidden until she finishes weighing her options. The solution to the current problem was all too clear to her. She ventures out to find her friend in the hopes that they could help defeat Corypheus. After all, were they not the one that had slain the tainted Old God, Urthemiel? She had confidence in their abilities. So she sought them out, exchanged messages, made plans and when the two were certain it was achievable, she bade her friend farewell and wished them luck. Luck and Fortune had always favoured them. Until it no longer did. She was the first of their group to know of the Hero of Ferelden’s demise and upon hearing it, Morrigan could only feel even more certain that hope was no longer something present. She can only just watch as darkness engulfs the land and Corypheus’ armies begin their march to conquer Thedas in the name of no god that ever existed. And deep down...Morrigan blames herself. 

“Never forget, Kieran, your father was a good man. Perhaps foolishly so. And he loved us very dearly.”

Romanced: She asked her beloved not to go. She pleads with him and bargains with him, reminding him of Kieran, of his desire to be cured, of their hope of a bigger family. But as always, her brave, honourable, foolish lover had just cupped her face in both calloused hands and brushed a kiss she barely felt over her lips before reminding her that his own duty was to protect the world from things they cannot protect themselves from. “The oldest darkspawn, eh? Well, that can’t be anymore different than battling an Old God.” he had told her with a twinkle in his eye. Morrigan wanted to curse at him but she had shown enough weakness already. So she pulls him down into a heated kiss and reminds him of their plans once more, that he was beholden to her and that he was forbidden from abandoning her and Kieran. With a laugh, her beloved promises his return. That return never comes. Instead, Corypheus erects her lover’s corpse on the walls of his stronghold as a reminder that even the greatest will fall beneath him. Morrigan could only remember screaming and finally breaking as she realises her beloved, her darling, her better half, the father of her son, was now gone. Lost to her. Lost to Kieran. And yet, she cannot grieve him. Not yet at least. So she packs her things, then Kieran’s, and though she knows it to be useless now, she packs his things as well. Taking her son by the hand, the two proceed to flee away from everything that Corypheus might want to claim and she and her son live in the world of the eluvians where she teaches him of his brave father while reminding him to be more selfish and know when the world must be left well alone than to leave their loved ones in a state of perpetual heartache.

“Sodding darkspawn always gotta take the best of us...”

Oghren:: Oghren was among the last to hear of the Warden’s fate. He was with Felsi and their child and he found himself reaching for the ale upon the news. Death was nothing new to the dwarf. The Deep Roads, the Blight, the Awakening, everything that he had gone through made sure he was prepared for news of any of his friends’ or companions’ deaths. And yet there he was, drinking away the suffocating grief. The Warden saw something in him that no one else had back in Orzammar. Sometimes, not even something he saw in himself. They were a better man than he could ever hope to be and somehow, whatever stone-blasted god that existed for the non-dwarves had decided a person like them deserved to die while Oghren didn’t. How was this considered fair?

“They were a good warrior. They will not be forgotten.”

Sten: Sten had seen this defeat coming and had tried to warn his friend of that possibility. But from what he had seen and understood of them in their time together, they had always been stubborn. Always so sure that righteousness shall prevail and that evil will fall. But as he watches the darkness coming towards them, all he could do was direct his men to safer areas. They shall flee but not to safety. For though in the past he had criticised his kadan of such heroic deeds, Sten finds himself now wanting to keep their spirit alive. Once the dawn breaks, Sten shall be leading his people to Ferelden and from there? They shall regroup, they shall plan. And when they are ready, they shall attack with the Hero of Ferelden’s name as their battlecry.

“Remember how I told you I would storm even the Black City for you? I suppose that now is the time, my friend.”

Zevran: He was there. He never left the Warden’s side. Not after finally getting rid of the Antivan Crows’ leaders and taking over himself. So when his friend took him to a lair of the first darkspawn, as they put it, he was expecting another success. They were the one who had ended an entire Blight, after all, this should be as easy as breathing, yes? So he packs up his things, promises his companionship to them once more and goes on the journey with them. Throughout the journey, Zevran spent their time together chattering away to fill the silence, making a few jokes and making sure the Warden kept that smile on their face. He didn’t expect all of that smiling and joking to come to this. The battle was not decided nor was it yours to win. Zevran could only watch as the Warden was flung from the battlements of Redcliffe’s castle, their body limp and broken. It reminded him too much of the Battle of Denerim while also being everything but that. And with that memory came another. Donning a smirk that hid his grief and guilt at his failure of protecting his friend, Zevran spun his daggers before making a final stand against Corypheus.

“Ah. Still so cruel to the end, my love. Never you mind, I will follow you regardless.”

Romanced: What more can he say? He loves his Warden. He will kill for them and die for them because what life would there be without his beloved? So when his Warden brings up the news of a would-be god attempting to cow the world into submission, he knew better than to just stand back and allow them to take on the beast by themself. The night before they stormed Corypheus’ lair, he kissed each finger, their calloused palms, their burdened shoulders, he marvelled at their strength and praised their beauty with all the sincerity that filled him. The day after, he fastened his earring to his beloved, making them promise to have that long-awaited wedding, preferably with their old friends. His lover smiles and they moved onwards. They did not acknowledge the grim truth that awaited them. Instead, they stormed the lair, killed demons and took down Venatori mages, adamant on ending this farce once and for all. Zevran was certain they now had the upperhand but when they came upon the abomination that called himself a god, Zevran was ready to take his love away and keep them safe. But with that same strength and confidence from a decade ago, they charged and held their own against the monster for a time. Until Corypheus called forth his dragon. With ice gathering in the pit of his stomach and dread filling his heart, he scrambled forward to battle the beast only to be pushed aside by his beloved. They were mortal. The world saw them as a god, the world lauded them as invincible, all-powerful...but they did not see the stitches, the scars and aches that Zevran was witness to. The hurts he so lovingly tended to. With horrified eyes, he watched as his beloved’s light was crushed into nothing but a void darkness. It was Rinna. It was Taliesin. It was his lovers killed and somehow it was worse now. He did not save his beloved. He did not kill them but he might as well have twisted the dagger into their gut. With trembling hands, he picked up his daggers and turned to face Corypheus. He will end this. For them. And if he falls in the process... that would be less than what he deserved.

[noonmutter]

Review

DWC November 2022

Day 2: Orbit/Illusion

(yes it's posted out of order but shh we don't talk about that)

"It'll be okay, love, I promise."

"You promised that the last time!"

"Okay, true, but this time th' barrier between life an' death isn't torn asunder an' all tha' stuff."

"Leooon…!"

He knew it was very serious, and Valarin's worries were completely valid, but Leon couldn't help grinning to himself. That particular whine was adorable every single time Val did it. It helped that it usually meant he was winning an argument, too.

It wasn't about being right, though; when the whole mess with the Shadowlands had started, Leon had been trying to get back into serious study with the Dreamweavers at Val'Sharah. He'd managed to dreamwalk on his own, and he'd needed to get a handle on that before he got himself in trouble.

Naturally, because he was an Ambroce, he'd gotten into trouble almost immediately anyway. The first time he'd set foot in the Dream on purpose, he'd ended up ensnared by an enterprising drustvar lord and trapped in the Winter Queen's realm until Valarin had come to bail him out. There were plenty of silver linings to that whole debacle--he and Valarin had finally said they loved one another, for example--but it still would have been better not to have nearly died to a lunatic's mind control.

Also, Valarin was still clearly scared shitless that Leon would end up in trouble again. The poor thing still got uncomfortable whenever he wore a mask. Leon understood it, of course, but he also knew he still had work to do. And after a few months, it seemed like peace wasn't actually an illusion this time. Things had fallen quiet, the sky had closed up, and life and death had settled back into some semblance of balance. He no longer felt like he was constantly a few inches too far to the left, and he hadn't had nightmares in weeks.

It was time to go back to the Dreamgrove.

Pin and Kaewynn had had similar misgivings, and both had been a little disappointed that he was going to be leaving this way, but they'd eventually given him their support. Valarin had taken rather longer to acquiesce, but that was to be expected, since he'd been the one that had to do the saving last time. None of them would necessarily use the word "permission," but he was basically asking for that. If they hadn't been willing, he wouldn't be going.

Things had been a touch more dramatic when he'd informed Celedyn of his upcoming 'business trip,' but that was just Celedyn. The elf cared very much, but he rarely said so using those words, instead choosing to dote, fret, and beg Leon to reconsider. Leon spent most of that conversation cradling (and some things a bit more intense than cradling) him. It was both more and less exhausting than the conversation with his spouses.

Caythaes' reaction had been almost refreshingly unworried. All they'd asked for was a way to reach him in an emergency--which he had struggled to provide. Only druids could enter the grove, and sending communication into it from outside was ...difficult, even years after Xavius' interference with the Nightmare had ended. A compromise was struck when Leon promised to return to a cabin in Bradensbrook at least once a week, and that if he didn't, a member of the Dreamweavers would be there in his place.

Vember had been thrilled to hear he was planning another extended visit, too. He got the impression that happy though she was, she did occasionally feel the distance from her family (well, him) and friends. It was a trek from the Broken Isles to the mainlands, even with Dreamwalking and portals, and her work was important. Naturally, he was welcome to stay with her, and he was looking forward to that. He dearly missed his big sister, and he had... kind of a lot of stories, by now.

The cabin plan made everyone else a lot happier, too. Leon admitted to himself that he wouldn't be too upset to take regular breaks from the isolation from his loved ones, either. It'd annoyed his mentors the first time around, since they felt it suggested a lack of devotion and it was disruptive to the peaceful mindset best suited to traversing the Dream. That time, Saeil had been able to meet him at the cabin, giving him someone to talk to and work out frustrations with. He looked forward to doing the same with others; the variety alone would help.

When he left for Val'Sharah, he did so with enthusiasm, rather than a sense of impending doom. This time, he'd be able to learn, to grow, to understand.

This time would be different.

It just might take a while.

( @daily-writing-challenge @pinpep @wowrpgamer @valarin-sunstorm @celedyn @mekandawn @vembermarlon @saeil-moonblade )

[wardenannie]

A very, very angsty one-shot. Warning for pregnancy loss. Crossposted on my Ao3.

-

Clouds of noxious smoke filled up the crystal cavern, wall to wall. It was only as Levi soared above it, over it with the vigilance of a hunting hawk, that he watched as the hook buried itself in Hange’s left shoulder. Time seemed to slow before his eyes, and that infernal shot was followed by three resounding bangs, each louder than the last in his ears. bang. Bang. BANG. 

The bullets were cloaked in sprays of red as they impacted Hange’s falling form. The hook unlatched and the assailant retreated in a burst of steam, but Levi’s eyes never strayed from the squad leader. 

“Hange!” More than one of the kids shouted her name in distress as the cavern began to shake. 

She struck a pillar, body limp, then slid down its faceted surface, leaving a trail of dark crimson in her wake. One of her hands cupped her bleeding middle, blood welling between her paling fingers. 

Levi cursed, dropping down to her side. The others were already crowding around, chips of glittering crystal were beginning to rain down from the cavern’s high ceiling. 

“Hange?” There was so much blood. It pooled around her, seeping out of her middle and between her legs. Her eyes were half open, aware but glassy. It looked like one shot had struck her sternum, another just beneath her breasts, and the last had lodged itself in her lower abdomen. 

“You-

She coughed, blood spattering from her lips. 

“You need to get... get out of here,” her fingers worked weakly against the smooth floor, body tensing like she meant to sit up. “I can’t... just leave me.”

Levi shook his head, pressing a gentle hand into her good shoulder, “Fuck that. Stay down. Moblit, Armin, can you carry her? She needs medical attention, now.” 

The men in question rushed to scoop her up, suspending her between their bodies. She winced and sighed, breath coming out in stuttering gasps. 

Levi watched them retreat, biting back a torrent of emotion as Hange’s toes dragged trails of blood into the floor. She was close to death, that was obvious. Three pellets of lead had lodged themselves into her insides and torn her body asunder. 

Hange Zoe. 

His Hange. 

The Captain’s heart was in his throat, hands shaking. He wanted to hit his knees and scream and beg whatever powers loomed above to spare her. He’d already lost so much. Levi felt as though his heart were being rendered in two. He would gladly have taken those shots for her, if it were possible, to spare her the pain and fear that accompanied death. 

Just the night before she had been so lively, excited for the coming battle. Sweaty over him, moaning under him. Kissing him. Whispering his name in mantra, like a prayer. 

Now he wasn’t certain that they would ever make love again, and he couldn’t even be at her side as she faded. 

It was Jean who broke him from his trance, “Your orders, Captain?” 

Levi shook his head, eyes still stinging, but no tears were shed. He steeled himself, braced himself for the ultimate loss of another friend, a companion, his secret lover. He was a wounded man, but also he was a soldier, and he had a duty to uphold. 

Anything for the greater good. Everything. 

When he spoke, motioning with his blade towards an opening in the crystal, his voice was low, dangerous, deadly and dripping with venom, “We kill Rod Reiss.”

Someone had to pay for what had happened to Hange. The true king of the accursed Walls would do nicely.

-

Rod Reiss was dead and Hange was alive. 

Upon his return from Orvud, that was all he knew of her condition. Alive. Badly injured, he knew. But gracefully alive. 

Levi wasted no time in stabling his horse and rushing through the neatly laid halls of HQ towards the infirmary. Perhaps he was being too obvious, perhaps the kids would catch on to his attachment, but he didn’t care. Hange was all that mattered, he cared about nothing else in that moment. 

They were keeping her in a private room, a benefit of her rank. Levi had no intention to leave her side for any longer than it took him to bathe. 

When he arrived he found Erwin had beaten him there. The man stood in a shaft of golden sunlight, it caught in his blond hair and brightened his icy eyes, which were paradoxically grim. Dust motes danced around him. Beside him stood redheaded woman in white nurses garb. Her lips were pursed, and when she spotted Levi in the doorway her expression darkened. 

Ignoring them entirely, Levi rushed to the side of the bed where Hange lay on top of the linens. She was naked from the waist up, but her entire upper body was bound in fresh bandages. There was a cool rag laid over her forehead and eyes. Relief flooded Levi’s chest and pooled in his gut. He knelt beside the bed, grateful for her peaceful expression and the steady rise of her chest. 

“Has she woken up yet?” Levi asked, gaze unwavering. He took her hand in his, not caring that the Commander was watching over his shoulder. 

“No,” The nurse answered. Then she cleared her throat, “Mr. Ackerman, there are some complications we need to discuss.” 

Levi’s thumb stroked over the backs of Hange’s knuckles. His brow furrowed and he scowled, forced to look away from his lover and at the nurse, “What?” 

His irritability seemed to surprise the woman, who took a step back. Levi’s reputation had clearly preceded him. 

Erwin laid a hand on her shoulder smiling sadly, “It’s okay, Nyla. I’ll take care of things here.” 

“But Commander it’s standard procedure that I inform-

“Shhh,” he shushed her delicately. “Dismissed. Take the rest of the day off.” 

She pursed her lips, but didn’t argue any further, retreating from the room on light feet. 

“What’s going on, Erwin?” Levi demanded, “You were both acting like someone shit the bed.” 

“Succinctly put,” the Commander answered, dryly. Then his expression darkened, and he continued. “I’ve known about the relationship the two of you share for some time now.” 

Levi paled, “Shit.” 

Erwin sighed, “Though I believe relationships between comrades are ill-advised, I’m not going to stop you.” 

“How did you figure it out?” 

His thick eyebrows shot up near to his hairline, amused, “Hange isn’t particularly quiet in bed. One stroll by her quarters was all it took.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, squeezing Hange’s fingers in his. Of course it was her fucking sex moans that gave them away, “I always tell her to keep it down.” 

Erwin cleared his throat, “That’s besides the point, though. I’m only informing you that I know as preamble for what I’m about to say. Levi, please sit on the bed. This is going to be quite the shock.” 

Feeling suddenly cold, Levi obeyed without a word. He still held on to Hange’s hand, her touch anchoring him to reality even from sleep. 

“When Hange arrived here she had already been stabilized, save for profuse bleeding from the vagina. They managed to dig out the bullet that had perforated her uterus, but the bleeding continued for some time.” 

“But she’s okay now, right?” Levi glanced back at her, down her lean body and between her thighs. She was wearing simple grey pants. They were unstained by blood. 

“She was pregnant, Levi,” Erwin stated, his voice was even and his eyes were emotionless. “They believe she was between three and four months along. The baby was killed when she was shot.” 

Levi went rigid, hands beginning to shake in his lap. His slate eyes widened and he looked up to Erwin with pure confusion and blended agony swirling in his eyes. 

“That’s not... that’s not possible,” his voice shook, his heart thundered in his aching chest. She had taken a contraceptive tea... Him? A father? 

Erwin pursed his mouth, extending a hand to rest on Levi’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, Captain.” 

Levi dropped his head into his hands, closing his eyes tight. It hurt. God help help him it hurt so badly. Every inch of him ached. They gave up so much for this life, and they did so willingly, happily even, but this was simply too much. A baby. Hange had been carrying a baby. Their baby. A baby that they had made together. 

“I need,” real, tangible tears stung at the corners of Levi’s eyes. “I need a moment, Commander.” 

Erwin nodded his head and left the room without another word, shutting the door carefully behind him. 

Finally alone, Levi turned to Hange where she lay unconscious. Her breath was even, chest rising in steady intervals, blissfully unaware of what they had lost. There was no way she had known, she would have told him immediately if she had even suspected she was pregnant. 

Levi cried silently, staring at her peaceful face. The tears were hot against his skin, and no matter how he tried he simply couldn’t stem their flow. 

He’d had a chance at a family, a life beyond the Survey Corps, beyond all of the violence and carnage and death. A fleeting, beautiful chance. And now it was gone, cruelly ripped from his hands on the floor of that damned crystal cavern. 

He looked out the window, at the sky which had once awed him as a boy from the Underground. Now the blue seemed dull, the sun dim. 

Nothing good ever seemed to stay. 

Nothing save for Hange, who still breathed peacefully beside him. He pulled a chair up beside the bed, content to wait at her side until she opened her wine-colored eyes again.

- 

It was two more days before Hange stirred, and when she did it was well past midnight. On the wall the steady ticking of a clock had lulled Levi into an uneasy sleep in his chair. Moonlight was the only thing illuminating the little infirmary room, splashing through the windowpane in long, silvery shafts. A vase of fresh picked wildflowers was sitting on the bedside table, courtesy of the 104th. 

Hange shifted on top of her sheets, shivering slightly in the cool air. Even that tiny reflex pained her, and she made a small discontented noise that awoke Levi with a start. 

“Levi?” She exhaled painfully, wincing as her shoulder pulled when she turned her head to face him. Her eyes brightened at the sight of him, ruffled and half asleep beside her. She smiled at him, “Levi, guess what?” 

Levi leaned forward, hand reaching instinctively to touch her cheek before dropping to settle over her own hand, “What, four-eyes?” 

“I’m not dead,” she wheezed out a laugh, which quickly morphed into a moan of pain. 

“No joking around right now,” Levi scolded softly, standing to help cover her with a blanket. “You need to rest.” 

Hange’s smile fell as she watched him unfold the blanket then drape it over her body, “Somethings wrong.” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Levi lied, unable to meet her eyes. 

“Don’t lie to me, little man. I can read you like a book.”

Levi settled back into his chair, “I’ll tell you later, alright? Get some sleep.” 

“No,” she would have crossed her arms if she weren’t full of bullet holes. “Tell me now, Levi. Your eyes are a little swollen, you never cry. And you’ve got dark circles. Something bad happened. Tell me now... oh my God, are the kids alright?” 

She actually started like she might sit up, frenzied by the thought. Levi rushed to ease her back down onto the pillows. 

“Easy four-eyes. The kids are fine, I promise,” he soothed. He took her hand again, stroking her knuckles. 

“Then what’s wrong?”

Levi bowed his head, watery eyes obscured by his hair. His very soul ached as he whispered the words, “I love you, Hange.” 

She went very still under his touch. They had never said those words to one another before, each afraid it would make what they had too real, too painful were one of them to die. But it was obvious to Levi now that their apprehension had never mattered. 

“Levi...” 

“You were pregnant,” he choked. “You miscarried when you were shot. Three to four months along, they said.” 

Tears were streaming down his cheeks again, glimmering with a beauty that belied their source. His insides were a tangled mass of barbed wire, blood, and pure, unadulterated sadness. Everything hurt.  

Hange was quiet for a while, hands folded neatly over her middle, eyes trained on the ceiling. 

When she finally spoke her voice was so soft, so low that Levi could barely make out the words, “I should have known. All the signs were there but I ignored them as stress. Oh God, Levi. I should have known.” 

Levi leaned onto the bed, “You can’t blame yourself for this.” 

“Can’t I?” Wincing, she raised a hand to touch her forehead, “I went into battle pregnant, I allowed myself to be cornered and shot, pregnant. How did I miss this? How? I killed our baby.” 

“No.” Levi said, fiercely, “Kenny and his damned fiends killed our baby. Rod fucking Reiss killed our baby. They’re all dead now. I made sure of that.”

Tears were brimming in her eyes now, and Levi couldn’t help but touch her cheek.

“We needed you there, Hange,” he said, softly. “We’re soldiers. We have a duty to the people of the walls, no matter what.” 

The last three words were painful to say, but it was true. Their duty came above all else.

Hange cried softly for a while. Levi held her hand, crying silently with her. He touched her face, her hair, her hands. Eventually he leaned forward to kiss her gently on the mouth. She tasted of salt and blood, and she cupped the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. 

When they parted, he whispered into the narrow space between their lips, “If you had died-

His voice cracked, then. And he realized for the first time in two days that he really, truly still had Hange. As long as she was breathing at his side, everything would be okay. 

“Don’t think about that,” she breathed, and kissed him again. “We already lost so much.” 

Hange scooted over to the left side of the bed, patting the right with her hand, “Come here.” 

Wordlessly Levi joined her on the bed. The flow of his tears was beginning to stem. He savored the heat of Hange’s body next to his, and when he rested his head on her good shoulder he could hear the steady beat of her heart. His hand ventured delicately down the taut line of her stomach, settling reverently over her abdomen, right above where the baby had been. 

Hange laid a hand over his, sniffing, “Do you think... I mean, someday this will all have to end, right? Eventually?”

Levi kissed her neck, “Eventually.” 

“We can try again,” she promised, voice ragged, fingers combing through his hair. “When this is over, we’ll try.” 

Levi hummed into her skin, inhaling the scent of her, feeling her alive beneath his touch. 

“Levi?” Her voice was clearer now, tears slowing. Her fingers were rubbing circles on his knuckles over her abdomen. 

“Hmm?”��

“I love you, too.” 

[osleyakomwonkru]

Octavia as The 100′s Jesus Figure, Part 4: Bardo, The Crucifixion and Second Coming of Octavia Blake

So we’re back for a fourth part of this series, which I started after season 6, because wouldn’t you know it - there’s more to be said.

In Part 1, Origin Story and the Meeting of Two Saviours, I discussed Octavia’s origin story as the Dark Saviour and her relationship with the show’s other Saviour Lincoln, and how with his death he invested her with the mission to save all of their people.

In Part 2, Saving Humanity and the First Passion of Octavia Blake, I talked about Octavia finally accepting and understanding her mission as the Saviour, redeeming the sins of humanity, and her first Passion narrative, which was left incomplete, and thus she lived.

In Part 3, Planet Alpha and the Second Passion of Octavia Blake, I wrote about Octavia’s second Passion narrative on Planet Alpha, which led to her road to Golgotha at the Anomaly, from which she is resurrected (the Crucifixion narrative still remaining a mystery) and then meets those she knew once again, before her ascension as the Anomaly reclaimed her in the last seconds of the S6 finale.

So now, Part 4 - Here we will get into that missing Crucifixion narrative, as well as the events that come to pass with Octavia’s Second Coming, the Judgment of Humanity, and how things may have played out differently had it been Octavia who walked into the glowy ball of light instead of Cadogan, Clarke and Raven.

From Dark to Light

Before we return to that missing Crucifixion narrative, which takes place on Bardo, Octavia, along with Diyoza and Hope, land on a different planet for ten years. This planet also has its purpose in our Saviour narrative, because while the show starts on dark themes, and thus needed Octavia as a Dark Saviour, in season 7 it began to shift to a theme of light and transcendence.

Enter the appropriately named Penance.

Octavia spends ten years on Skyring/Penance/Planet Beta, healing from her pain and darkness, and thus is no longer the Dark Saviour the narrative needed her to be before to bring salvation to her people, now she can be the Light Saviour who will save all of humanity.

Her new demeanour - though I hesitate to say new because it was born of ten years of peace, plenty, family, and healing, it wasn’t new to her, merely to those who used to know her for whom time had been much shorter - is evidence of her new Light. It confuses many, because they hadn’t had the same time and healing as she had, but it is evident in every move she makes. Rather than the tornado of righteous fury that she used to be, now Octavia is the steady and calm voice of reason - to Echo, to Hope, and especially to Clarke.

But back to that crucifixion narrative.

Every Noble Crown will be a Crown of Thorns

Her peaceful world torn asunder, Octavia is taken to Bardo, and thrown into M-Cap at the first opportunity. Others have mentioned how the M-Cap headcap looks like a crown of thorns, and they’re quite right - this is where Octavia’s Crucifixion narrative comes to fruition. No one spends as much time in that crown of thorns as she does.

She fights it, at first, but when acceptance is what will provide salvation to her people (or person, in this case, being Hope), she accepts her fate and faces her past - brutal days of reliving her history as the Dark Saviour, to firmly close that chapter of her life (a symbolic death rather than just her regular baptism-rebirth cycle).

She’s freed from her crown of thorns when Hope comes. Hope, the symbol of her new Light, and the Light that she will carry with her as she returns to Sanctum to be resurrected among those she once knew, those who had believed her to be lost, but who dearly needed the Light she was to bring them.

Revelation and The Second Coming

There are a lot of different moving pieces involved in the apocalyptic scenarios of Revelation, and how these come to play in season 7 of The 100 isn’t any different. So let’s take a look at some of the other key players and how they connect to Octavia’s story.

The False Prophet, The Dragon and The Beast

Now, in my Part 3 of this series (written after the S6 finale), I predicted that Bellamy would have a large part in the revelation of Octavia’s Saviour narrative. Obviously, that part didn’t come to pass, because of Bob’s absence from the show, but you can still see hints within the narrative that suggest he would have been a part of it before Bob pulled out (most notably, the Hesperides flashback in 7x04 - this flashback is pretty pointless in the context of Hope telling Echo and Gabriel that story, but if you imagine Bellamy being there to hear about how his sister raised Hope in much the same way he raised her - then it becomes way more meaningful).

But the narrative as it played out also presents interesting Biblical allusions, by casting Bellamy in the role of false prophet, fighting on the side of the Beast (Cadogan), instead of on the side of Christ (his sister).

The false prophet is said to be the second beast to rise in Revelation 13, who has “two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon” (Revelation 13:11) who is given the authority to speak on behalf of the first Beast (Cadogan), to deceive the people so that they will worship this Beast. The false prophet having the appearance of a lamb is relevant here, because Jesus is often referred to as the Lamb of God - thus, the false prophet (Bellamy) resembles the true Saviour (Octavia), not coincidental since they are in fact siblings and thus do bear some physical resemblances.

So who is The Dragon - that is, Satan? It is easy to say that the Dragon is Sheidheda, for it is the Dragon who is imprisoned, only to be released to deceive and wage war before being finally defeated. But it goes deeper than that - The Dragon is the dark side of the Flame itself, Sheidheda’s only the last prophet of that darkness. It is the Flame that gives Cadogan, the Beast, the power he needs to rule over his people - the glimpse of the idea of Judgment Day as something for the Disciples to work towards - “The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority” (Revelation 13:2) - even when the good side of the Flame, the Humanity that Becca believed so vital, wanted to keep it from him.

The Children of the Kingdom of Heaven

Jesus says “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). Octavia’s always been tied to different children throughout The 100 narrative, first as the child herself, and then others such as Gavriel, Ethan, Madi, Rose and Hope. But the important children for the purpose of this post are the three that are the “next generation” so to speak of the leading trio of the show, and their important roles in the final battle.

There’s Jordan, the Head-centered, who takes over Clarke’s role as John the Baptist, the prophet who bore witness to the Light (Jesus) so that others would believe. His testimony shows that the Final War is instead a Test, and he’s instrumental in making sure that Octavia can stop the war and pass the test to grant humanity eternal life instead.

There’s Hope, the Heart-centered, who takes over Bellamy’s role as Saint Peter, the disciple who becomes the leader of the church after Jesus’ ascension. Hope is Octavia’s grounding force, her new rock, and her love gives her strength to continue her journey.

And then there’s Madi, the Soul-centered, who is Octavia’s next generation counterpart. It’s made clear from the start of Madi’s introduction in season 5 that Octavia is her favourite, that Octavia is the one she looked up to, and even in season 7, these parallels are there, as Madi is ready to sacrifice herself to save the others, and in more peaceful ways too, like when she’s hiding in the reactor with her two new friends, reminiscent of season 1 Octavia and her friendship with Monty and Jasper. Madi, too, meets her Crucifixion in the M-Cap chair, in an even crueler and more vicious manner than Octavia did. But when Octavia saves humanity, this liberates Madi’s soul and grants her eternal life as well.

I am the Way, The Truth and the Life

Wonkru falls apart in Octavia’s absence. There’s no other way to say it. Wonkru crumbling in 7x03 is made even more conspicuous by the fact that they don’t even mention Octavia, because they’re still denying her, despite everything she brought them. They don’t realize that she’s the one to save them all, they don’t realize that, as Jesus says, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 4:16) - something that they will finally come to understand in the climax of the final episode.

But it isn’t time for that story yet. First we must turn to Revelation to see what happens to Wonkru and the others on Sanctum while they’ve chosen to deny her and follow the Dragon and the Beast instead.

Here we see the different plagues that strike the unbelievers - both in Revelation 8-9 and 16.

The first to come are “ugly, festering sores [that] broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast” (Revelation 16:2) - the radiation sickness that is a marker of the broken nuclear reactor in 7x03, which claims as James as one of its first victims. If you don’t remember who he was while watching that episode, look back to 6x02, where he’s one of the people attacking Octavia in the Eligius IV mess hall. He breaks faith with her, and here suffers the consequences of that.

The second and third plagues speak of both the seas and the rivers turning to blood - references to the rivers of blood created by Sheidheda’s massacres, first of the Faithful and then of the Children of Gabriel.

The fourth plague, the sun scorching people with fire, takes us to the eclipse in 7x13, where the sky is red with the eclipse. This leads to the fifth and sixth plagues - the kingdom being plunged into darkness as Emori kills power to the reactor to bring down the shield, which makes it possible for “locusts [to come] down on the earth” (Revelation 9:3) and devour those “who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads” (Revelation 9:5).

It is only the final plague - “rumblings… and a severe earthquake… [where] the great city split into three parts” (Revelation 16:18-19) - that strikes where Octavia is, with “a loud voice from the throne, saying ‘It is done!’” (Revelation 16:17). This line from Revelation calls back to what Octavia says to Hope in 6x13 before her Ascension - “Be brave, tell him it is done” - a sign that Octavia is needed elsewhere again. And soon enough she does depart to Bardo, alongside Clarke. Meanwhile, the survivors remaining on Earth have to reunite the three groups split in the bunker - those in the rotunda (Hope, Jordan, Gaia, Indra, Miller), those in the rec room (Raven, Murphy, Emori, Jackson) and those in the bunkrooms (Echo, Niylah) - to prepare for the final war and judgment.

The Fall of Babylon

Before Octavia can bring light to the world and grant humanity transcendence, there is still one more key part of Revelation that must come to pass, and that is the fall of Babylon: That is, in this ‘verse, Clarke.

Throughout Biblical narrative, Babylon stands in opposition to Jerusalem and its righteousness, just how in The 100 narrative Clarke and Octavia have always been set as foils to each other. Now, Clarke isn’t evil per se, but she’s always been set in her ways and doubles down when questioned about her past deeds - as we see both in how she faces the Primes in 6x03 and the Judge in 7x16. She doesn’t learn, and so she fails. Clarke, like Babylon, is locked out of heaven for not learning the patience and humility that Octavia did: “For her sins are piled up to Heaven, and God has remembered her sins. Give back to her as she has given, pay her back double for what she has done.” (Revelation 18:5-6).

With Clarke fallen, it is now time to begin the Final Judgment.

Final Test and Judgment

After Clarke’s fall, someone must step in to advocate for humanity, to guide the Judge’s gaze to the righteous, to the Saviour - Raven steps through the glowing orb to do so. So which figure in Revelation is most suited here? None other than the writer of Revelation themselves, historically considered to be John of Patmos, who is given these visions by the angels as a warning for humanity.

Raven bore witness to a number of the plagues, and while not always a believer in Octavia - in fact, out of all characters around for all seven seasons, they’ve shared the least screentime with each other - but they’ve still fought on the same side. Also of relevance here is that Raven’s been granted visions in the narrative of the show, like John of Patmos has in Revelation - though hers came as a result of ALIE.

While the Judge takes Raven to the battlefield in Bardo to prove humanity to be unworthy, this battlefield is instead where Octavia proves humanity to be worthy. Indra and Wonkru follow Octavia’s lead, finally recognizing that their only way to salvation was through her (see John 4:16 above), and after the Disciples too laid down their weapons, humanity is deemed worthy and the Judge grants them eternal life in the form of transcendence - rising to the heavens in the manner of the Rapture, “We who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air” (1 Thessalonians 4:17).

Where is the Judgment of the Dead?

Now, one thing missing in season 7 compared to the Book of Revelation and Jesus’ Second Coming is the Judgment of the Dead and welcoming those worthy into the domain of Heaven.

A longstanding phrase in The 100 has been “May We Meet Again”. This is part of the Traveler’s Blessing of Skaikru, and one that they use frequently with one another even in non-death contexts. So with that phrase, a lot of people expected that the dead would also be able to be part of transcendence somehow, and that beloved characters would then also be present on the beach in the final scene as they rejected transcendence to live mortal lives.

I believe, given everything in the past posts about Octavia, that had she been the one to go into the ball of light to face the Judge personally, rather than saving humanity on the battlefield, that this would have happened.

While logically I believe the best form for the Judge to take for Octavia would have been Diyoza, since Diyoza was her greatest teacher, her mind would be more likely to choose her greatest love, Lincoln - who, if we go back to Part 1 of this series, we remember is the other Saviour of this show’s narrative.

That would have been a reunion even more epic than the Clarke and Lexa reunion that the show gave us, for Lincoln and Octavia were far closer and together for far longer. And if the Transcendents possessed the powers that they do - instant genocide by crystallization at the wave of an arm, transcendence through the blink of an eye, restoration of healthy and whole bodies if those souls reject transcendence - then surely raising the dead would’ve been a simple task.

The only reason that couldn’t happen was extratextual - there was no way Ricky would work with JRoth again, and so this extra dimension, this aspect of the narrative that could have made things so much sweeter and less bitter, had to be put aside.

Now, that doesn’t diminish Octavia’s Saviour narrative in the least - she did still save humanity. She did still bear the sins of the human race, she was still mocked, cast out and sent to her crucifixion by those who denied her. She did still return from that symbolic death, resurrected, then ascended. When she faced Wonkru again - remember, that battlefield in 7x16 is the first time the bulk of Wonkru has seen her since 5x13 - it was in her Second Coming to bring the Final Judgment to them. The trials they’d faced in Sanctum in her absence showed them the truth - that they had to believe in her again to achieve their salvation.

She was the Way, the Truth and the Life of The 100 universe, and no one would have reached transcendence except through her.

[thewhirlwind]

STRANGE OMENS — CHARACTER SUMMARIES

CHARACTERS WRITTEN / CREATED BY FORSYTHE ( @thewhirlwind ):

ANTONIO REYES— Antonio Reyes is the sheriff in Frostford’s local sheriff’s department. He’s Vothine’s half-human son, bearing four arms and a nuanced senses. He was born in 837 BC, his mother was a slave who escaped Ancient Greece with her former lover’s help, and raised him in Spain. He starts off investigating the strange cult activity that starts going on in the surrounding region. Canonically dating Ivory Wells, or at least will be.

AINSLEY LACHLAN— the son of a Russian mobster and twin brother to Renard, Ainsley Lachlan is one of the local Catholic priests, and arguably the only openly gay one in the area. He firmly believes these things aren’t mutually exclusive, but eventually he’s lead astray by Vothine, who manipulates him into thinking that releasing Epsolise will create a paradise for mankind, and the truth is, all he’s ever wanted was to help people, to make up for his father’s crimes.

RENARD LACHLAN— Ainsley’s slightly younger, twin brother, Renard is Frostford’s local neurosurgeon, sometimes moonlighting as a trauma surgeon when his schedule is open. He took an interest in neurology due to his own, rather severe dyslexia, which slowed him down in school, until Ainsley was old enough to read to him and help him learn how to read despite his disorder. Like his brother, he wants to help people, but he has no hang ups about his father’s crimes. Later, when his brother unleashes Epsolise, he becomes host to the Elder God, and it messes him up severely. His best friends are Alana Reid and Ruo Silva, and canonically he’s dating Everett Novak.

THEODORE HUDSON— Theo is the owner of Hudson Technology, better known as HudTech, a global leader in all kinds of technology and founded when Theo graduates MIT, some years back. (I haven’t decided on a year yet rip.) Best friend to Everett Novak, Theo often hires him as a freelancer to work on the coding side of his various project; together the two can accomplish nearly anything. In 2015, he was fooling around with a project trying to create a kind of artificial intelligence by combining eldritch magic with technology. In doing so, he inadvertently summoned Vothine, who killed him—brutally. Violently—and then melded with his body. This did revive Theo, albeit much, much weaker, but he was able to fight back when Vothine went after his best friend and interfere with his attacks. Eventually, Everett does manage to free him from the god’s hold, but he’s left with a great many mental and physical scars.

ALANA REID— Alana is part of Renard’s surgical team. Along with Ruo Silva, the three of them went to college together in NYC, NY, and she moved out to Frostford after Ruo told them there were job openings at the local hospital. (So did Renard.) when Ruo died, Alana may have personally beaten the shit out of her murderer and abuser. After she ressurects, Alana canonically dates Ruo. The two of them are also Renard’s best friends.

THE LOTUS TWINS—They’re also known as the twin gods of discordance. Initially born in the depths of a dying star as the singular god of balance, Asikolise, they were ripped asunder by the black hole formed in its death. With balance rent in two, they became two gods that slowly tipped the scales of the universe back and forth from one far end back to the other, over extended periods of time.

EPSOLISE— One of the two lotus twins, known for forming the garden, an Eden for eldritch horrors to feed on the living things that roamed the earth. Man, beast, whatever. When Ipsilise is bound, Epsolise walks free.

AURI’ELL OV’AGOTHA/AURI’ELL ILLI’ED— Auri’ell is thought of as two gods with incredibly similar names, the kings of the sea and of magic,  it the truth is—he’s one singular entity with two titles and two domains. He was born Alain MacNamara of the coast of Ireland in 1389, to a sailor who would eventually take him to sea with him. At first, his study of eldritch magic was a passing interest with which to study marine life; but as his mind deteriorated due to the magic, he became obsessed, focusing on what was on the other side of it. Eventually, he broke through it, becoming he god of the sea and the god of magic, being the one who advanced eldritch magic the most over his life. Unstuck in time, he went back to he very beginning—and eventually, he introduces magic to the world, when mankind is old enough to understand it.

VOTHINE— the god of chaos, he’s in love with the lotus gods; all three iterations of them. From the dawn of time he’s been tipping the scales back and forth between Epsolise, and Ipsilise, hoping that one day, someone would find a way to stop them—by fusing them together into the one entity they were truly meant to be. His methods, however, are rough, due to be whole... chaos thing. People who deal with him frequently end up hurt, traumatized for life. A fine example being Theodore Hudson. Vothine is not so unlike Auri’ell, in that he was created from a man, but his wasn’t a choice. He was a slave in early Ancient Greece, experimented on by his owner until he became something more. With his new found powers, he likely slaughtered this who owned him and the one he loved, before helping her escape back to her home country, Spain. But she grew scared of him, as he grew less and less human with each passing day, until finally they—amicably—agreed to go their separate ways. He still loves her, but he understood he had a different purpose now. He, like Auri’ell, was also unstuck in time. But instead of going back to he beginning, he was drawn back to the point in which the lotus gods were created, feeling the way their power balanced out, appearing mere moments before they were torn apart.

CHARACTERS WRITTEN / CREATED BY FOA ( @ephemeraltheory & @exemplaryambiance ):

EVERETT NOVAK—Initially a gifted software engineer as well as a magic user, Everett had sworn off of using magic after he’d accidentally caused permanent nerve damage to his father’s hands when he was fourteen. His father was a woodworker and had his own business so he had to take over most of the weight of the business until he left for college.  After his best friend Theo gets taken by Vothine,  Everett is permanently injured by Vothine, leaving him with nerve damage in his lower back and leg. He refurbishes a library in Frostford with the goal to learn every ounce of magic that he possibly could in order to save his friend. Everett becomes a master warlock by the time the story begins and later,  he canonically ends up dating Renard Lachlan.

RUO SILVA—Ruo was fourteen when she met her abuser ( emotional abuse and much later,   physical abuse ),  Mallory.  Ever since then,  Mallory has coerced Ruo into a romantic relationship and over time,  she gradually isolated her from any possible friends she could have made as well as from her own parents. She convinced Ruo that their relationship would be in danger if she spoke about it to anyone.  Ruo is able to escape the home she ends up sharing with her abuser to go to college to be a nurse.  Here,  she meets and befriends Alana and Renard, who provide a taste of what it actually feels like to be cared about, what it feels like to not always be afraid that people you love will hurt you.  What it feels like to have actual friends.  One night when Ruo reluctantly returns home to bathe and retrieve things she’d needed,  she and Mallory get into an argument about Ruo’s consistent absence and Mallory eventually forcibly holds Ruo beneath the bath water,  drowning her. Having been wearing an ancient family heirloom,  a garnet necklace,   after 2-3 months, Ruo is reincarnated as an Enenra, which is essentially a fire elemental / smoke demon / spirit. Her best friend is Renard Lachlan and canonically,  she and Alana begin dating after she’s reincarnated.

IVORY WELLS—Ivory is the crime scene technician for Frostford’s local police department. As a child, Ivory lost a close friend Iris to a serial killer when she was about twelve. For about six years, they weren’t able to find the person responsible nor were they able to figure out what had happened to her. Around the time Ivory turned eighteen however,  they’d re-opened the case due to another child’s death that had the same M.O. They used the most current technology to go over the collected evidence once more and were able to finally find the convicted murderer, which brought not only herself and Iris’s family closure and justice, but also closure and justice for the families who had lost a child to the same fate. This is what drove Ivory to become a crime scene technician, to offer that same closure to others. She has worked with Antonio Reyes for 5 years and canonically,  they start dating sometime in book 1.

IPSILISE—One of the two lotus twins, she is benevolent towards humanity but has an obsessive need for control, to the point of detriment. One of her common names is CROATOAN, but she’s responsible for other missing cities; Atlantis. Sodom & Gomorrah. A handful of others we have yet to uncover. When Epsolise is bound,  Ipsilise walks free.

[phylophe]

100 Warm-Up Roleplaying Questions for Players

Character: Amur Universe: Pathfinder Gender/Race/Class: Male human Paladin/Holy Vindicator Alignment: NG/CG Questions source: here

Full (long) post under the cut.

1. If your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

His parents were peasants who worked as labourers, so probably that. If he ever receives charity from any organisation, he’d strive to work for them.

2. Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

If it’s strictly his life, Niyooshan - for some reason the alchemist seems to refuse to let him die or even get too hurt. Maybe it’s a healer thing. 

If it’s about making decisions based on his best interest... he doesn’t trust anyone in the current party with that at the moment.

3. What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

People are essentially good. 

Mercy and compassion is no less important than justice and righteousness. 

Any good is worth doing. 

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.

4. What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

He left home at the age of 8, and his parents were largely absentee in those years. He honours them out of societal expectations of filial piety, but that’s about it.

He’s the second child of five. His older brother (1st) and younger sister (4th) passed when he was 7; he depended a lot on the former, and got along well with the latter as they have the most similar personalities amongst the siblings at the time. 

For his surviving siblings, he is very close to his younger brother (3rd, only a year his junior), and they still exchange letters frequently. He and his youngest sister (5th) barely knew one another until they reunited recently as adults.

5. Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

Having the privilege of being human, he has the common in-universe biases but he tries his best to check them. He does this especially consciously when it comes to race/ancestry (i.e. species) - one of his friends from his apprentice days was lynched for being a drow. 

6. What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

He respects nobility who is responsible in their post, and righteous authority. 

Otherwise he tolerates them and tries not to cause trouble... unless they do something with which he greatly disagrees morally.

7. Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armour, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

(Skipping the part about scars - addressed in #21)

He dresses in full, heavy plate armour complete with a kite shield when out in the field or in battle. 

During downtime, he wears simple tunics with trousers and boots, usually with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Sometimes he wears a gambeson on top or a leather cuirass for more formality. 

8. What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

(Answering the second part - first part addressed in #40.) 

The small towns and villages they’ve passed through with down-to-earth folks. Though he also likes cities with rich histories and culture.

9. What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

Sarenrae - the goddess of the sun, redemption, honesty, and healing. 

He respects most other gods and religions on the good or neutral side of the good-evil axis. With evil gods, he tries not to judge their believers until evil actions based on such beliefs are actually taken.

10. If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

Some sort of sculpture, maybe pottery or carving. He’s a very tactile person.

11. Describe your character’s current relationship with the player character sitting to your right.

(Rolling 1d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan)

AMALLI: It’s complicated - he trusts that she means well and has his best interest in mind, however what she considers “best” is rather... unusual. He teeters between having faith that she is kind by nature, and being annoyed at her messed up values and principles ingrained by nurture. 

12. What is your character’s current goal, summed up in one sentence?

Save the sun, keep his uncle alive, vindicate his friend’s honour.

13. Does your character ever want to “settle down” with a spouse, children, house, etc.?

He’s a sojourner who feels uneasy if he has to stay in one place for an extended amount of time. At this point he’s accepted the single life; it makes it easier to travel.

14. Has your character ever been in love?

He’s aromantic/asexual and can’t really distinguish between romantic and platonic love very well. He does love his friends and found family deeply however.

15. What battle in the campaign has been most memorable to your character?

Against a dragon turtle which is also a divine guardian of sorts. The party angered it and was having trouble hurting it at all; he used Greater Angelic Aspect for the first time to speak to it so it would stop attacking them. It eventually involved taking a massive hit for it and dying (for the first time since level 1), but it ended the battle with no further damages to the party.

16. If your character wasn’t whatever class they are, what would they be instead?

A cleric. Arguably with his temperament he’d have turned out better as one.

17. What is your character’s favourite season?

Spring - the sun gets stronger, the day gets longer, the plants and animals become livelier. 

18. What would your character’s Zodiac sign be, following stereotypical astrology?

Pisces.

19. Where in the world does your character most want to visit?

If it’s only Golarion and the material plane - the Padishah Empire of Kelesh.

20. What is the biggest mistake your character has ever made?

Boy where do we begin. A few months ago he’d have said “going to pee alone that one time”, but he’s okay with that now. 

He thinks his biggest mistake was to give in to despair and as a result fell from grace and lost his god-given powers. He counts the lives lost that could otherwise be saved as his fault.

21. Does your character have any noticeable scars? If so, what are their stories?

A scar on his neck from a time when he wanted to kill himself, and a stigmata in the form of a sunburst brand on his right hand from when he became a Holy Vindicator.

22. What animal best represents your character?

Bison - sometimes peaceful and absentminded, other times temperamental; bull-headed, tough and hardy, and stubborn.

23. If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be?

Aside from not falling from grace as per #20... pick a more common language to learn in school. See #95.

24. Which other player character does your character find themselves having the most in common with?

Those in the first adventuring party he’s had - with Adeline, Mirele, and Kebarong. Simple people with simple needs. Their personalities may be very different, but at least they live in worlds that are relatable.

25. Does your character regret any particular choice the party has made?

Anything that involves the deaths of innocents, even/especially if it’s for the “greater good”. 

26. What would your character say their best trait would be?

His faith in humanity.

27. What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational?

Having his soul doomed in one way or another. Presently the most plausible method by which this can happen is to have it torn asunder and destroyed.

28. What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party?

He knows he can’t do much of anything alone - not only does he play a supportive role in combat, he needs his companions’ skills, qualities, experience, and expertise to achieve the massive goal they all share (to a degree) - see #12.

29. What are your character’s hobbies and interests outside of their class?

Animals (especially felines), writing letters, pleasant long walks somewhere outdoors.

30. What would most people think when they first see your character?

Big, shiny, clangy, scary-looking, heavily-armoured man. He himself is completely unaware of this perception.

31. What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?)

Often he’s the Heart. In a Five Man Band he’d be (conditionally) the Leader, the Lancer, or the Chick.

32. What is your character the most insecure about?

His terrible schmoozing skills.

33. What person does your character admire most?

His benefactor, mentor, and mother figure - a cleric who gave up her peaceful life and comfortable home to travel the world as a missionary and healer. 

34. What does your character admire and dislike the most about the player character sitting to your left?

(Rolling 1d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan)

NIYOOSHAN: He admires the alchemist’s resourcefulness, calm and analytical mind, general intelligence and skills in what he does. 

He dislikes his cold rationality and ability to make brutal decisions without hesitation... but what he dislikes more is his own feeling of envy for such a quality. (See also #67.)

35. Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)?

Strength and dexterity (I know). He grew up poor and missed out on some bulking up as a child. He’s hardy though.

36. What would be your character’s theme song/favourite band/favourite genre of music?

Folk music with lots of wind instruments.

37. What stereotypical role would your character play in a high school AU/if they attended a normal high school? (Nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc.)

Looks like a jock, acts like a nerd. Probably would get bullied if not for protective friends.

38. What treasure/item/artifact that your character has collected during the adventure is the most important to them?

His standard issue shield given by the Church (with which he shares a Divine Bond, and he has had various upgrades attached to it), letters from friends and those he considers family, a feather from the Vermillion Bird.

39. Is there any particular weapon, item, etc. that your character longs to find?

Right now, as the campaign demands - the Chronicles of the Righteous. Otherwise he’d love to come across any of Sarenrae’s divine artifacts.

40. Where does your character feel the most at home?

BACKSTORY: the Sarenite church grounds in Absalom, where he grew up.

IN-GAME: Falcon’s Hollow, despite its cursedness, where he met people he grew to trust with his life.

41. Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people?

He cares how his loved ones see him insofar as he wants them to trust him, but he doesn’t compromise easily on the kind of person his principles make him.

42. What does your character think is the true meaning of life?

To find something worth loving in everything and everyone.

43. What is your character’s scent? (Bonus points for a description that sounds like it could be from a bad [or awesome] fanfic.)

Sun-burnt vegetation and a faint but unmistakable hint of metal.

44. Does your character think more with their heart or their brain?

Heart.

45. What is your character’s most recent or frequent nightmare?

His most frequent nightmares all involve fire - a child being incinerated, a pile of bodies being cremated, a gigantic flaming wheel in the sky overlooking chaos befalling a city.

46. What opinion does your character have on [CERTAIN ESTABLISHED GROUPS/AUTHORITIES IN THE GAME WORLD]? (Dragon-marked Houses, royal crown, etc.)

CHURCH OF SARENRAE IN ABSALOM: It was his home once; not anymore. Maybe it can’t ever be home again now that he’s seen how deep the corruption runs.

EAGLE KNIGHTS: They mean well, but they have a ruthless murderer in their own ranks and after all these years they haven’t sorted that out. Helpful to a point, at least. 

HELL KNIGHTS OF THE SCOURGE: They’re more reasonable and likeable than he’d expected, and he’s not sure how to feel about that.

PATHFINDER SOCIETY: Crazy resourceful, shamelessly shifty.

JADE REGENT: Shit.

47. How did your character spend their childhood? Where did they grow up/who were their childhood friends?

He lived in poverty in a backwater town (Railford) in southern Taldor until the age of 8, when he was brought to the Church of Sarenrae in Absalom. His years there as an apprentice were the happiest, most peaceful of his life - he had his mentor and her companion as pseudo-parents, and made some close friends when he was training to be a paladin.

48. What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

Whether or not he can redeem Shasriel. See also #52.

49. What colours are associated with your character?

Green, yellow, brown.

50. Who in the party would your character prioritise rescuing, in dire circumstances?

Among his current party of Amalli, Niyooshan, and Mawari, he’d prioritise Amalli because she’s been with him the longest and he knows her best out of the three.

51. Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

Pathos.

52. If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

He’s wary of the repercussions and unforeseen consequences of such a powerful spell, so he’ll restrict it to wishing that the wraith feeding off of his soul be saved from undeath and her uncorrupted nature restored. See also #48.

53. What is your character’s favourite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favourite personal weapon/combat manoeuvre/skill/etc.?

Lay on Hands, with mercies and feats.

54. How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

He doesn’t like it but he does it with people he’s not close to, out of fearing judgement. With close people he only keeps secrets if he himself doesn’t want to confront those things, which actually happens quite often.

55. What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

Benevolent creatures that should be evil by nature - devils and undead for example.

56. When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

Before he went into paladin-specific training, he wanted to be a missionary cleric - just like his mentor. 

57. The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

(Rolling 1d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan)

MAWARI: He’d think she’s ill, making a bad joke, or trying to curse him.

58. If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

It would depend of course, but at this point he doesn’t really trust his current party, so he would probably side with his loved one.

59. Does your character value their own best interest more than the party’s?

Definitely not, to a fault sometimes.

60. What decision would the party have to make in order for your character to consider splitting off from the group?

Something unequivocally cruel and undeniably evil.

61. How does your character imagine the way they will die?

In battle, protecting others with all that he can give.

62. What is your character’s greatest achievement?

Aside from the battle described in #15, being vindicated by his goddess at the exact moment he defied an order from his religious superiors.

63. Is your character willing to risk the well-being of others in order to achieve their goal?

Not at all, unless his goal also happens to be the greater good.

64. What is your character’s opinion on killing others?

He understands the necessity of killing in the kind of life he’s chosen to live, but he tries his best to avoid killing innocents, and even those who are guilty - so long as he thinks they have a chance to be redeemed.

65. What is your character’s favourite food? Beverage?

He doesn’t have single favourite, but he likes homey, hearty meals. Potatoes make him think of Kebarong, one of his closest companions. As of late he seems to have suddenly developed a constant craving for almonds. 

66. How generous is your character? Especially to those they don’t know?

Very. He’d fall for any sob story; even if he knows he’s been cheated he wouldn’t change his ways, because his generosity being abused is not his problem, but the abuser’s.

67. What is your character the most envious about, regarding anyone in the party?

As addressed in #34, he’s envious about Niyooshan’s ability to make cruel but rational and/or necessary decisions. He is also sometimes envious of Amalli’s blissful ignorance of some realities of the world, but other times he feels sorry for her.

68. The player character to your left and the player character to your right are both telling your character two different versions of the truth. Who does your character believe?

(Rolling 2d3 between 1. Amalli, 2. Mawari, 3. Niyooshan) 

MAWARI & AMALLI: This is a toughie. On the one hand he trusts Amalli more than Mawari, since he’s known the former for a while and became acquainted with the latter only recently; on the other hand Amalli has a way of viewing and interpreting reality that he really doesn’t understand sometimes. Ultimately he’d take Amalli’s word for it if he has to.

69. What is your character’s sexuality/relationship with sex?

He’s aromantic and asexual, although he does enjoy intimacy with friends (i.e. he’s quite touchy-feely). if someone were to pursue him romantically/sexually and he already likes them a lot, he’d do what they request if he thinks that it improves their bond. 

70. What is your character’s biggest pet peeve?

People using doublespeak, especially if it’s for politics.

71. Describe how your character feels about the party’s current situation/objective/etc.

It’s a big job and he can’t even fathom how they’ll get there, but it has to be done and it seems like he and his companions are the ones who need to do it, so he’ll just have to take things one step at a time. 

72. Who in the party would your character trust the most to keep an important secret?

Niyooshan - he trusts the man to exercise discretion. Amalli means well but tends to run her mouth.

73. If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life?

Write heartfelt letters to his friends and family, write strongly-worded letters to his Church and the authorities-that-be, and do his best to further his and his allies’ mission.

74. What makes your character feel safe?

A nice home-cooked meal, a warm fire, knowing people he trusts and loves are close by. 

75. If your character had the chance to rename the party/give the party a name, no questions asked, what would it be?

“Not-Rebels”. Because they’re totally not rebels with massive bounties on their heads. 

76. What memory does your character want to forget the most?

Technically he’s already forgotten it - the process by which his soul was bound to an ancient Azlanti wraith was traumatic enough that his memory of it is now repressed. 

For his intact memories, he’d very much like to forget about the time he watched a child be incinerated in an instant, or the time he’s had to mercy-kill a group of innocents who’d been afflicted by the curse of undeath... or maybe he doesn’t because he thinks he needs to carry his “mistakes” with him.

77. If your character had to multiclass into a class they currently aren’t the next time they level up, what would it be and what reason would they have for doing so?

Fighter - so he can be more flexible with gear, be more effective at controlling the battle, and - most importantly - use tower shields. 

78. What television/book/video game/etc. character would your character be best friends with? (Or: what media character is your character the most influenced by/similar to?

Take all the usual Knight Templar tropes and subvert them.

Additionally, my GM compares him to Anders of the Dragon Age franchise. I created Amur way before I knew who Anders was, and some of the similarities are frankly uncanny. 

79. What unusual talents does your character possess?

High pain tolerance, and (is this a talent?) diminished self-preservation instincts.

80. How does your character feel about receiving/giving orders? Are they more of a leader, or a follower?

He’s much happier receiving orders than giving them, but he can’t help but question or even defy those he considers immoral. He wants to be a follower but is ultimately too headstrong and impulsive to be a good one.

81. What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

His name is one (of the few) ties he has with his birth family, but he’s fine if he has to use a different name temporarily for a good reason.

I named him after the Amur River. As a geomorphologist I sometimes name my OCs after landform features. All my original PCs and NPCs in this universe are named after real-world rivers.

82. Is your character more of an introvert, or an extrovert?

Introvert.

83. How far is your character willing to go to pursue the “greater good”? Do they believe in a greater good at all?

He believes in the greater good, he just doesn’t believe in having to sacrifice innocent individuals to pursue it.

84. What does your character want to be remembered by?

Kindness and compassion.

85. What would be your character’s major in college?

Humanities - more precisely, something along the lines of Anthropology or Cultural Studies.

86. Does your character consider themselves a hero, villain, or something else?

Something else - he sees himself as one who helps someone else become a hero, or turns someone away from villainy. 

87. What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

Strength.

88. Where does your character see themselves in 20 years?

Dead. Still travelling around, with or without a name, finding trouble, and doing whatever needs to be done.

89. What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

To him, in general magic is just another ability or talent, as much as someone can be gifted physically, intellectually, or artistically. His own magic is granted by his deity, so he sees it as a blessing and not really belonging to him. 

90. Who is your character’s biggest rival?

He doesn’t consider anyone his rival, but he does have a nemesis of sorts by the name of Geminus Nero Rugatonn. The guy’s been hounding him and his friends since something like level 6.

91. What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure?

Playing with cats.

92. What does your character hope for the afterlife?

To have his soul intact and actually see Sarenrae in all her glory, and to meet those he thinks he’s failed and apologise to them.

93. Who in the party does your character trust the least?

At this point, Mawari - she’s only just joined them, is a witch with creepy curses and hexes, and is their ally only because their goals align with her being a traitor to the Jade Regent.

94. What is your character’s biggest flaw?

Impulsiveness, and being a bleeding heart who is way too forgiving.

95. How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

TALDANE: His first language, and the common tongue across most of the Inner Sea region.

TERRAN: Learned it as part of the curriculum in his apprentice days. Why he didn’t pick something less obscure is anyone’s guess. Maybe he just doesn’t want to use it much.

NECRIL: Started to learn this after being possessed (?) by a wraith.

TIAN: The common tongue in the continent of the current campaign, Tian Xia.

MINKAI: The local tongue in the country of the current campaign, Minkai.

SIGN LANGUAGE: Learned this after Niyooshan lost his speech. 

96. What is your character’s favourite school of magic/type of weaponry?

MAGIC: Healing (conjuration) and harm-negating spells (abjuration).

WEAPONRY: Do shields count?

97. What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness?

Happiness.

98. What advice would your character give to a younger version of themselves?

“Don’t ignore the urging of your conscience; act on it. It’s better to regret what you’ve done than what you haven’t.”

99. Are there any social or political issues your character feels strongly about?

Any sort of persecution or discrimination that is based on some neutral and often unchangeable part of someone’s identity, e.g. being slaves, low-born, or of a particular race.

100. What, currently, is your character the most curious about?

What part he has to play and how he will end up by the end of this whole deal involving nations, religions, legacies, curses, spirits, gods, and Great Old Ones.

[elmidol]

To Continue the Fight

Three Blind Tooke Part Three Death is an Art

Read on AO3

Warnings: None(?)

Three Blind Tooke 

 Part Three: Death is an Art

 Chapter Fifty-One: To Continue the Fight

 These are the reasons that we fight

Not only for ourselves or that it is right;

We continue for those who entered our lives,

And fight until evil no longer can rise.

 The expression upon Rose’s face intrigued you. It spoke to the fact that she did not know everything in regards to why Finn and Rey so wanted to go on this mission. It was not only to protect Luke Skywalker. Rey had previously joined with Kylo Ren. To get to you, yes. Rose likely knew this. She and Rey would have spoken of it, if not Finn would have. The three of them were growing close together. The same with Poe. Navrin’s presence had to serve as further proof that there was more than had been let on. Rose’s gaze continuously travelled to him. At first you were oblivious to this. As time went on, in order to drag yourself out from the daymare that threatened to take you, you stared at her. Where she had questions regarding this mission, you wondered how it was that Supreme Leader Armitage Hux had destroyed Naboo. Furthermore, how Rey and Finn had failed to sense it. Leia should have as well.

 Questions tumbled from your lips. Those same inquiries that had been circulating ever since you had gathered your bearings enough to think them. Navrin released a noise of interest that preceded his mutual curiosity to have those answers. Finn looked to Rey, who had glanced over her shoulder long enough to catch his gaze. That was all that was necessary for all others, yourself included, to know that they had been withholding rather pertinent information. You balled your hands into fists. A spike of anger that quickly faded. It was not a betrayal from them, that was not what you felt. It was frustration at your own helplessness when it came to matters of the Force.

 Rey and Finn worked together to fill in the missing details that answered more than one of your questions. Master Skywalker had been using an artifact of sorts─neither Finn nor Rey were aware of its exact nature or origin─to shield them from the Order of Ren. Them being himself, Rey, Finn, and Leia. Navrin as well. Rey broke off at this point in her speech to look at the former Knight of Ren; and while she fell quiet, Finn took up lead in the conversation. The bond that Kylo had with each of those individuals, along with his connection to the remaining Knights, that could easily lead the Order of Ren to the Resistance Base. Master Skywalker had found a means of protecting them with the artifact, which was also why he tired more easily. It drained him of his energy; such power could not be wielded without a cost.

 They hadn’t taken into consideration that Luke going on a mission without them would entail him being forced to make a choice: continue shielding the Resistance Base, or shield himself. Kylo Ren had been seeking Skywalker for years. It was clear to you, Rose, and Navrin why Kylo had locked onto this opportunity immediately. The Knights of Ren were more intune with the Force than you had realized. This thought sickened you; not because you hated the Force, but because you despised that you had been so blind to this truth. You had underestimated your opponent. That went against all you had been taught.

 “I thought I had sensed something wrong, but…” Rey trailed off. She shook her head, refocused on the path she was taking as pilot.

 Rose and you looked directly at one another while Finn picked up where she had left off again. The sensation of all those lost to the destruction of Naboo had been deadened because of the shield. The numbness had made sense to them the moment they had been told of the tragedy. It had allowed them to jump into action. That was why you were on this mission. The Force users─Rey, Finn, and Navrin─could assist Master Skywalker in subduing the Knights of Ren as well as Kylo if the man was present. Finn and Rey had also agreed that they hoped for Rose to look at the artifact. Her tech savvy ways gave them hope that she could improve it.

 She pressed her lips firmly together. Her cheeks puffed up a little as she visibly fought off the urge to chastise them for keeping her in the dark. If you hadn’t asked, would they have told you everything anyway? More importantly, would they have explained it to her?

 “Of course,” Finn said after Rose at last asked that aloud.

 When Rey had been speaking to Rose, it had been to emphasize the group’s need for the technician’s expertise. She had to keep this ship from being detected by your enemies as well as allies; the latter in regards to leaving the Resistance base without clearance. There had not yet been anything spoken about some device or artifact imbued with the Force. Could such a thing even be done? Or did it require another Force user to change it? You did not know. You doubted that anyone aboard this ship had a solid answer for that particular question, which meant that there was no sense voicing it at all.

 Another shared look passed between Rose and you. Her sternness gave way to sympathy, and you were assaulted with a fresh wave of reality hitting you. A reminder that Naboo was no more. The frustration of not knowing how Hux had accomplished this coupled with the hatred you had for the man, a hatred that grew more fierce each and every day.

 “Will we get there in time?” The words slipped from your lips without you being conscious that you had intended to speak. The others in the ship aside from Navrin all tensed. Navrin had seen enough death, had caused plenty of it, had revelled in it before he had joined Rey. He seemed almost immune to the idea of Skywalker dying. Then again, he had hunted the man once upon a time.

 The three spoke in unison. Rose uttered the words “We must!” while Finn stated that “We have to”, and Rey growled through gritted teeth, “We had better.” It was Rey’s response that caused a sort of flipping sensation to assault your stomach. Not just her words; through the bond you had with her, you felt tinges of darkness. Anger and frustration, so much like the sentiments you had towards Hux that they entwined with your own sense of purpose and devotion to this mission.

 Master Skywalker had been pouring his own lifeforce into keeping the Resistance safe from the Order of Ren, and that was something you would never be able to repay. What you could do was keep him alive for as long as possible. He wanted to pass down his knowledge to the next generation of Force users, Finn and Rey in particular. This would have extended beyond the warfront. One thing that you did know was regardless if Kylo had joined the Dark side of the Force, a war would have broken out. There had already been Snoke and the First Order. There had already been the Knights of Ren. Powers in the Force and on a military front that would have torn the galaxy asunder. But it was not only war that drove Luke Skywalker to spread the Force.

 One tale that Poe Dameron had told you was of his parents, how Skywalker had given his mother a tree. It had been one of two remnants from Coruscant. Imbued with the Force. Poe did not hate the Force although he was understandably wary of it because Kylo Ren had tortured him.

 What the tale had taught you was that Luke believed the Force was for all. It was to be nurtured and protected. It was not an instrument of war. You needed him to pass that lesson down to Rey and Finn. Finn’s entire life had been surrendered to this war so far. Plucked as a child from his family and trained as a soldier for the First Order, which he later abandoned. He had had no childhood. Rey had not had one either, not really. She had had Jakku then this war. They had both discovered their abilities on the battlefield.

 I knew myself before I willingly joined the war. At least, I knew myself more than they knew themselves.

 You grabbed hold of the wedding rings that you wore. Thought of the words that Kylo had spoken to you in regards to becoming himself. He had honestly believed he had been doing the right thing. On that strange and twisted dark path, he had wanted to better the galaxy...at the same time, he had fed his hunger for power. A hunger that had existed prior to Luke’s mistake with him. Snoke had felt that hunger from whatever cave he had dwelled inside. If he hadn’t, would Kylo still have become Kylo? Was Ben Solo predestined to become dark?

 The deaths he had committed may have been less in number had he not been swayed by Snoke, had he instead joined his mother and father in the Resistance. Yet, too, there was the possibility that there would have been more murders. If he had been drifting towards the Dark side of the Force, he may have completed his training with Luke Skywalker only to betray the Resistance after joining it. He could very well have slaughtered the heroes of the Rebellion before taking his place, wherever that may have been in this alternate path.

 Sometimes people, even you, dwelt too long on the what ifs in life that they missed out on the present. Not that you enjoyed current events. The destruction of Naboo had you shaken, had you holding your breath every few minutes to recenter yourself. But some of the what ifs were worse. Others would prove a distraction that resulted in more death, more loss. You had to focus on your current burdens if you hoped to overcome them.

 “Do you think Kylo will try to kill Luke so that he can use the artifact?” You couldn’t have been the only one thinking it, but no one else had posed the question. And you were tired of waiting for them to. Navrin nodded without hesitation while adding that Kylo did not feel exactly fond of Skywalker anyway. If it had been his mother, you mused, things might have been going much differently. “I…” Your eyes flickered to Rey. The darkness that you felt growing inside of her was something you feared and hated. “Navrin or I should take over as pilot when we get closer. I can’t use the Force… With Kylo there…”

 “You should,” Navrin said. His words snatched up your attention, as did the way he stared at you. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. The Knights of Ren were more capable in the Force than you had realized. Did Rey know? As if he could read your mind, the man said: “Master Ren was waiting to see if Rey would betray him. Their bond allowed him to see her struggles with the Light. Hiding our true abilities when near her was…” He paused, chuckling to himself. “Cumbersome.” He moved his arms then crossed them over his chest without turning away his gaze. “Skywalker already knew this. He was monitoring me whenever he was nearby.”

 “And when he wasn’t?”

 “I was,” Finn cut in.

 Rose made a small noise. Locking gazes with you, the woman smiled in a way that you couldn’t help but return the expression. The two of you felt less alone with not being Force sensitive now that you had each other. This was the family that you had chosen, the one that you had not lost even with the destruction of your birth planet. You squeezed the rings once more. Your father’s grave had given you a sense of peace, but it was due to his memory. And that… That you would always carry with you. That was something that Hux would never be able to take away, nor would he destroy your ability and will to fight him. You would avenge those who had died on Naboo without becoming a monster yourself.

 The heroics of Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa had helped to inspire Rose and her late-sister, Paige, after they had joined to Resistance due to what had happened on their planet. The First Order had been cruel in how it used resources, people. Some planets were destroyed in sections. Not obliterated like Naboo or Alderaan had been. Instead they were stripped of everything useful. Chemically altered so that no crops would grow. It was much like how the Empire had worked. Was that crueller than the loss of Naboo? The torture that woud happen instead of dying in an instant. Hosnian Prime snuffed out, but not slowly burning. Not suffocated. In truth, you could not say which was worse. All that you knew was that you and Rose had something in common. More than deceased family members; now, too, ensuring that the fate of your home planets was not shared with others. The two of you would work together to put a stop to that.

 “Do we focus on destroying the Order of Ren first instead of the First Order?” the female technician asked. It was a fair question, and one that you would likely have thought of in these circumstances had it not been for your history with Kylo. There was a freedom in being away from the man who was your husband, but the idea of his death continued to bother you. You were tired of losing people that you knew.

 Licking your lips, you allowed your shoulders to rise and fall in a shrug. “It depends on the outcome of this mission. He… Kylo, that is, he…” You pressed your lips into a thin line to give yourself time to think how you wanted to word things. Rose did not glare at you; her attitude towards you was much different in comparison to how she had been on the Supremacy when Snoke had been killed. She no longer doubted your loyalty. She knew that you wanted the war to end but that things had grown complicated. Whether or not she agreed with your feelings, she had come to accept them. “It’s a gamble. He doesn’t seem as keen on destroying the entire Resistance in the same way Hux does. If we focus our resources on destroying an enemy that isn’t coming straight at us, I think the First Order will take advantage of that.” The tears threatened to form anew. Your thoughts had drifted to Naboo and how it had been destroyed in retaliation for Phasma’s demise. “Kylo does want power, but I think we’d have an easier time reasoning with him than with Hux. Now that Hux has the power he has dreamed of since childhood, I know he isn’t going to compromise that. The times I played holochess with him, he was patient and almost always several moves ahead of me. More than once I lost nearly all my pieces to him. He’d sacrifice a few along the way, and that brought him victory. He’s the same way in real battle.”

 Each of the others in the ship with you had faced Supreme Leader Hux in some capacity. You did have that advantage of seeing him in more settings. Not even Navrin had been able to witness Hux drop his guard as he did, albeit not completely, with you when you had been taken to his quarters for those visits while Kylo was ignoring you. Even still you had not been able to calculate the extent of the risk that you were taking when you had gone after Phasma. You hadn’t thought in a million years that he would destroy Naboo like that. He could not be left to run rampant. His freedom was a threat to the entire galaxy, which he wanted to put under his rule.

 “Your creations have given us an edge in the battle against the First Order,” you said to Rose. She blushed at your words and tried to brush away the compliment. “If we can beat Hux, if we can use some of those ships against the Order of Ren if a resolution cannot be reached…” You made a gesture with your hand as if to indicate all the various scenarios and possibilities each person aboard the ship might think up.

 Rey and Finn muttered their agreement. It was Navrin who cocked his head to the side to question whether or not you believed that Kylo would ever agree to step aside from a position of power. In that way, was he so different than Hux? That had been the question you had asked yourself too many times.

 “I’d rather risk that than try to pose the same question to Hux. He’s the Destroyer of Worlds, and he proved that again.” Your hands were starting to shake again. From shock. From adrenaline.

 Rose worried at her bottom lip with her teeth. It was maddening having to wait to travel across the distance of space to get to Luke Skywalker when so many uncertainties in the war yet existed. You had started to fidget by bouncing your leg up and down. Never had you felt like this with your other missions for the Resistance. Of course, this was an unofficial mission. This was also Luke Skywalker with his life on the line. Training and lessons in patience could last only so long. Rose was checking the viewport every few seconds. Her fingers drummed on her knees. Soon you would move into the pilot’s seat. And, you assumed, Rose would take the co-pilot’s chair. At least at that point you would be doing something more than sitting there and feeling helpless.

 That moment did not come soon enough but arrive it did. You could hear Rey and Finn checking over their supplies along with Navrin as you and Rose took over. “How’s the shield on this?” you asked Rose. She was already on it, checking the ship’s system logs to learn all that she could. “Firepower?”

 “Not as good as we would want it to be,” she said in a soft voice. She gestured with her head at the three Force users in the back. “They’ll be our weapons.” Not exactly promising in a dogfight if it came down to that. If you were acting more as cover or a distraction, however… Yes, that will work. You relaxed a little. The tension in your shoulders was eased as you rolled them. Rose, too, was becoming more comfortable with circumstances and her position. “We can defend ourselves but this isn’t a starfighter.”

 “If you can land the ship somewhere and join us on foot, that would be better.” You did not look over your shoulder at Rey when she spoke to you. You doubted that she was looking your way. The sound of movement hadn’t ceased, although it had grown less frequent. Considering that you were not far from your destination, this was a good sign.

 As much as you wanted to join in the fight, you had started to think that it would be equally important to stay in the ship and have it ready to go. Extracting Luke from the planet and escaping the Knights of Ren could save more lives than remaining to engage them in battle. You were torn by both courses of action. Figured it would be best to keep your options open until you were given a better view of things. For one, whether or not there were any Star Destroyers in the system. For another, if Skywalker and the Knights were already in battle. A third option would be to land the ship at a choice location that allowed you to also utilize your training. You could shoot from a long distance. Be close enough by to leave the ship running and move in as a pilot at a moment’s notice.

 Considering this for another few seconds, you informed your small crew of the plan. It was agreed that this would be for the best. On top of that, Rose would remain with you so that she was not put into more danger than need be. Her skills as a technician would come into play only after Luke, or at least the artifact, was aboard. You being there to help keep her covered while she ensured the systems were fully functional was for the best. Not to mention it eliminated the possibility of you freezing up if too close to Kylo Ren. Seeing Luke and Kylo engaged in battle, if they were, was something you truly did not know how you would react to. You wanted the Resistance to win this war, however you did not want Kylo to die. The animosity that would exist in each of the swings of his lightsaber would speak of his pain and anger. It would be too fierce for you. You did not want to see it.

 Those concerns need not be voiced. Rey would be able to sense that something was worrying you, and it was a fear that she would be harboring as well. You hated that she was in that position; she would be the one to step between Luke and Kylo to ensure that they did not kill each other. You trusted her to do this. If it had been anyone else, you would have abandoned the ship no matter how reckless it was.

 “What is that?” Finn’s voice drew your attention as well as Rose’s. His brow was knit, and both Rey and Navrin were nodding in confirmation that they knew what he was referring to. Something to do with the Force, something that they could sense but not see. “Is that what Luke is here for?”

 If it was something that the three could sense when not on the planet, you imagined that it was exactly what had drawn Skywalker to the planet. On top of that, you believed that it would have been the reason that Kylo Ren had come. Not for Luke, although for him that would be a bonus. Rey’s hand inched towards the hilt of her lightsaber. Her eyes darted to you for a brief moment. Kylo. She could sense him there along with Luke. Finn looked as though he was tensing in anticipation of a fight. Navrin was indifferent; this had been his life, hadn’t it? Seeking out battles.

 “This power… They’re fighting.” Rey was speaking this aloud for your benefit. Your grip on the controls tightened. That solidified your decision to remain with the ship. “We cannot allow Kylo to leave with what drew Master Skywalker here.”

 Finn was quick to agree. It was more than just the fact that it was Kylo. These words had to do with what they were able to sense. Navrin was too quiet for your liking. Did his silence mean that he knew what the other two were sensing? Even if he had not had personal contact with it, you imagined that the Knights of Ren had sought out dark artifacts. Sith holocrons and weapons. Anything that allowed them to wield the Force and kill with it. You yourself had learned a little when a prisoner of Kylo. The man had studied old scrolls, and Snoke had seemed to encourage this kind of education. The Knights would act similarly so as to remain useful to their Master.

 Or maybe you were biased and paranoid. Navrin might not know anything at all. There was only one way to know.

 “Do you know what it is, Navrin?” He spoke softly, not in anger or frustration. His tone betrayed nothing. His words revealed the truth: he believed that he did know, however he was not certain. “Is it a weapon?” No. “For defense?” In a way.

 Maker, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the man’s reluctance to be more forthcoming.

 You were not the only one frustrated with the roundabout responses. Through the bond, you felt Rey growing more agitated. That could also be due to the closer proximity with Kylo and Skywalker. That was how the three Force users could sense the battle and whatever it was Luke and Kylo wanted. Then again, that could be why Navrin wasn’t speaking much. He was focused on what it was this small group you belonged to was walking into. The dogfighting with Resistance and Order of Ren ships. The battles on the surface of the planet. Releasing a breath through pursed lips, you shoved aside the ever-lingering sense of loss that had hit you upon hearing that Naboo had been destroyed.

 “Countdown from ten,” you said. And each of you were, albeit mentally, silently. Holding your breaths all the while.

[gold-eyes-vengeful-heart]

Red and Blue

((A fight.

Contains 5.2 spoilers! Also contains some amount of body horror from uh canonical events, basically.

Also part 1 of a 2-part fic just fyi :Dc))

===

The eternal storm of the Ghimlyt Dark boiled and raged overhead, and on a mountainous outcrop, Runya waited inside Blue’s cockpit.

Optical screens around him hummed with life, around where Runya sat, and his hands rested lightly on Blue’s controls as his golden eyes scanned the horizon, ever watching and ever waiting. Blue’s crimson eyes followed his every glance, lending his discerning stare to the search, but coming up just as empty as Runya was. Nothing but smoldering fires, dead machina, dead soldiers, more dead machina, even more dead machina...

{Hmph.}

Blue’s annoyance slapped at his ankles like a playful wave, and he let out a huff of his own. “And here I thought I was the impatient one.”

{Don’t like it. Where is he?}

“Oh? Dear Blue,” he purred, “don’t tell me that you’re less the impatient one and more the nervous one?”

{You’re inside.} Blue’s tone couldn’t help but be accusatory, apparently, but Runya just let go of the controls a moment to placatingly spread his hands. (Even if Blue...maybe?...couldn’t see it, he could get the gist of the feeling well enough.)

“Fair is fair on that, yes. You are also covered in fulms-thick armor and are many, many times my size, might I add.”

Another annoyed splash of thought, but a wordless one this time.

“Between the two of us,” Runya continued with a smile, “I believe we’ll be able to overcome whatever this Ruby Weapon is like. We’ve been practicing, you know...” But he trailed off as he saw a point of red-orange glow appearing over the horizon. Rocket engines.

Blue took a preparatory few paces back, heavy clawed footsteps thudding into the dark earth.

“And I do believe he’s here.”

The frisson of tension that flew up their spines like lightning was shared between pilot and Weapon, and with a sharp clanking of metal, Blue’s lance-like backpack weapons extruded his magitek boosters; not something of ceruleum, but something significantly more magically-based in nature. (Strange, for an Imperial project, but Runya was quite certain that the Garleans had been just as lost as the Allagans, apparently, had when it came to what Blue was, really.)

“Shall we?”

A quick run and a leap off of the cliff, and Blue’s wings spread to catch the air--and the boosters flared to life in a roar of wind and fire aether, propelling him not just forward but upwards, too, into the roiling skies overhead. Rather conveniently, Runya had intended, when it came to providing cover away from the Ruby Weapon’s sights. They arced up and up, angling their flight until they were close enough to see their opponent itself, a brilliant garnet against the dreary browns and greys of the battlefield below.

Runya didn’t need to say anything more, with how Blue was listening to his thoughts so closely. After a brief rise, Blue folded his wings and the thrusters roared brilliantly to their maximum capacity, and Blue dived like a hunting falcon right at the Ruby Weapon and rotated his lower half just a moment before impact so he rammed his claws into the red Weapon’s shoulders and sent them both flying straight into the dirt.

--

Iron Sights squinted through her sight-glass, even though she couldn’t see sweet shite-all in that massive cloud of earth and dust and Halone-knew-what swirling in the air over there.

“What happened?” Sorin’s voice next to her rang tensely in her right ear. “Did it crash?”

“Well...in a matter of speaking.” She heard Sorin snorting in annoyance, though, and elaborated. “Your buddy and your big dragon-machina friend decided to join the party. Seems he got a bit ahead of us on fighting this thing...” But when she looked back over at the Miqo’te, he had gone awfully pasty, and was already getting back up to his feet and looking over at the Manta vehicle she had parked just yalms away. The ray-shaped creature that was its 

“We need to get over there. Now.”

--

Well, Runya would be lying to say that the flight and the dive hadn’t been exhilarating. His heart still pounded in his chest and his very being sang with Blue’s power, pulsing through his mind like a second heart. Blue got to his paws quickly, after that violent collision, and the Ruby Weapon was slower but not too much more so to get back to its feet as well, the permanent snarl etched into its features deepening at the sight of the slightly-smaller machina. And much to Runya’s surprise, a voice came from the thing--a woman’s voice, at that.

“What is this? Some Eorzean trick?”

Runya just clicked his tongue, though, and let Blue project his own voice right back at her. “Oh, come now, you can’t have assumed you were going to just stride on in here unresisted, were you?” He was, however, forced to send Blue jolting back as the Ruby Weapon took a sudden swipe at him.

“No matter. You’ll fall like all the others!”

Runya chuckled and urged Blue to one side, dodging yet another--oh, really, that thing’s claws weren’t long enough as it was and it could shoot them?!

“Blue, dear.” Now it was just him speaking to his Weapon, even as he jinked to the other side to duck yet another slash of the extending claws. “We need to get in the air. Now, preferably.”

And Blue agreed, judging by how quickly he did just that, in a rush of fire and wind. But good gods he just barely missed another swipe, and even being in the air didn’t stop the barrage of lasers, of missiles, of claws and claws and claws--

“Come on, Eorzean!” The enemy pilot taunted him as they were forced into dodging even more strikes, and he couldn’t even verbally respond, all of his considerable brainpower was so taken up by the task. And even then, some of them scored hits, Blue’s armor groaning in warning. “I thought you were here to oppose me, not entertain me!”

No matter how high they bloody went, he couldn’t escape, and Blue’s telepathic tension grew once more, until it threatened to boil up around his neck and take over entirely. But he doggedly kept his head above that metaphorical water and drove them both up into the clouds, where he still held some hope of losing this near endless barrage of assaults...

“You think you’re being intelligent, don’t you?”

Runya could barely hear the voice, at this distance...but he didn’t get any more warning than a faint red glow at a spot in the clouds below before they were ripped asunder by a vicious red beam, and it scythed straight into Blue’s side with a rending shriek of energy and metal and of Blue and Runya yowling at the sudden shared pain of the former to the latter as his side and part of his wing were both torn open. No no no they couldn’t, they were dropping but they couldn’t there had to be some way around this he just had to think but he couldn’t think with Blue’s ripping pain tearing into his side through the mental connection they couldn’t escape {help help HELP NO} he just had to think--

Blue slammed to earth and for the moment, they were both near blinded by the increased force on the wound carved into the Weapon by its opponent. And though Runya was still himself enough mentally that he had the sense through the pain to know that he had to move, and even though they started to move, it was too slow and the Ruby Weapon’s blunt foot slammed hard into Blue’s bad wing to pin him down.

“Oh no you don’t, Eorzean.” The Ruby Weapon’s ugly features creased into a terrifying grin, and it even leaned into that foot to put its full weight on it. “This is pathetic; you didn’t even last a minute. You can’t even control that thing properly, can you? Not against one of the Empire’s strongest pilots!”

The Ruby Weapon slammed its vicious hooked claws into Blue’s side and pulled, rending the armor and even some of the eerily-biological flesh underneath it in the process, but...slowly, languidly almost, as if either the other Weapon or the pilot or both were enjoying this far too much.

All he could do was grab at his side and let his mind continue to whirl and think he had to find a way out of this but how, there had to be a way--

{help HELP HELP}

“You’re through, and after I crush you, the others are next.”

Sweet hells he just needed two straight seconds of concentration and he could figure out how to get this to work...He wasn’t about to just sit here and let that thing stomp him and Blue to death, but godsdamn this whole thing--

{GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF}

Blue was practically writhing and snapping to try and throw the Ruby Weapon off, but it just let out a guttural snarl and leaned in more, ducking the bites, pulling and pulling as the giant orb in its chest started to glow that red eerie glow again--aimed right at the hole that it had torn in Blue’s armor.

“We’re putting an end to this, here and now. We won’t even need to involve the others in this if this is all the Eorzean forces can throw at us. Even the Warrior of Light and his vaunted Echo will be no match for us!”

...That was it. Now he knew exactly how he was going to find out how to find a way out. 

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, keenly aware of what he was asking not only of Blue, but of himself, as he whispered aloud. “Blue, dear. I need to use some of your aether.”

{???!!!!!} The wordless response was, of course, tetchy in a situation like this and felt more like a wet slap to the face than anything else, but he kept his thoughts on the idea he had managed to squeeze out between all the panic and noise and more noise.

“Trust me,” he hissed, his grip tightening on the controls as an extra tug of the Ruby Weapon’s claws made his entire side throb in pain. “I’ll get us out of this if you just let me do it. Please.”

Not a word that passed his lips often. But when he used it, he meant it, and when else could he mean it but right now?!

“Please, Blue.”

The interminable silence, broken only by the groans and cracks of yielding armor and the hum of the Ruby Weapon’s cannon charging, burned into his head, each second ticking in his mind as steadily as drops of acid. But...but. With a sudden snick that he more felt than heard, Blue actually listened to him and let loose a flood of aether into the cockpit, a flood that his body--or rather the implants inside it--absorbed like parched earth and channeled immediately into the very augmentations that were usually little more than a torment to him (but not now). It was a flood of familiar power and a too-familiar smile of his own glittered in the dimming lights of the cockpit as they temporarily powered off to shunt even more aether into him...

He closed his eyes as they started to sting, golden shocks running painlessly over his skin and activating the tattoos there.

“Oh, yes. Yes.”

In the darkness of the cockpit, his eyes suddenly snapped open, and the eerie golden patterns of a Resonance blazed brightly enough in his now-black irises to illuminate the panels in front of him once more. 

“Yes, I have missed this!”

The cockpit suddenly lit back up, revealing the Ruby Weapon just moments from finishing its full charge, but now...now Runya felt absolutely no hesitation being faced with what seemed to be his own death. Now, he just grinned from ear to ear, exposing jagged fangs, and saw highlighted in eerie golden light exactly what he had to do as the Resonance blazed to glorious life.

“There!”

It was sheer mental impulse more than active movement of the controls that sent Blue’s tail whipping up like a striking snake. And with unerring accuracy, the thin sharp “claws” on the tip of it found their mark: buried to the bases in the Ruby Weapon’s face, crushing into one of its eyes with a ringing of shattered glass.

“No!”

The Ruby Weapon’s pilot was almost drowned out by the Ruby Weapon itself’s pained roar, and it reeled back to pull itself free of the tail-claws buried in its skull. In the process, however, it loosened up the pressure on Blue’s wing and he rolled, pulling completely free and whipping his entire tail back across the Ruby Weapon’s chest. The ominous crack that was most definitely not just metal on metal didn’t escape Runya’s notice, either.

“Oh, good. I wasn’t keen on putting up with that any longer than I had to.” He urged Blue back up and instantly sent them both barreling into the Ruby Weapon head-on, despite the violence of the glow starting to emanate from its chest once more. It didn’t take him long, in fact, to simply ram Blue’s head into that core-like thing in the other Weapon’s chest...once, twice, thrice, and it started to spark eerily, and a fourth and a fifth time with Blue’s rear claws kicking at it was enough to finally send pieces of it shattering and flying from the force, taking the eerie sparking red with it.

“No, you can’t do this!”

“I can do precisely what I wish,” Runya chuckled back, the unstable smile spreading widely across his face at the sheer power humming through himself and Blue both--he could swear that something in Blue had activated right when his own Resonance had, but he barely spent a moment on that thought in favor of luxuriating in the sheer force he could exert with barely a flex of his own mind. “Come now, you’re one of the Empire’s finest pilots--I should be no match for you!”

So goaded, the enemy pilot snarled and the Ruby Weapon snarled with her, using Blue’s proximity to try and carve into him with its hooked claws. Blue, however, could see just as Runya did and saw the shining gold provoking him in further and so he lunged and got inside the swipe to charge into the other Weapon’s chest. Thrusters flared and the Ruby Weapon tried to force him back but it was nothing and Blue’s own roared with raw power and succeeded in shoving the Ruby Weapon back, slowly, slowly...

“It’s over!” The Ruby Weapon slammed its hands to earth, and one less attentive might have just presumed that it was scrabbling for purchase against the rushing force--but when the soil around its claws bubbled and both Blue and Runya saw the hint of gold warning them of an attack so inbound Runya was quick to redirect the thrust Blue was exerting forwards instead of backwards, propelling the blue Weapon back and away and just barely out of the spiked flexible claws erupting from the earth. Right where they had been standing, in fact, but Runya felt nothing but elation and cackled in vicious glee as he sent Blue soaring.

“You really thought some Imperial scum could beat me? The one who’s sworn to kill you, your kin, your friends--everything you and your sick nation stands for?!”

He turned Blue and the joints in the Weapon’s armor glowed a violent white, Blue’s jaws parting and revealing an ominous glow deep in his throat. Runya felt the ball of aether raging and growing and his ears perked sharply forward, his smile more a slash of an expression in his face than anything of humor.

“You actually thought you were good enough, righteous enough. Pathetic. You can’t even control that thing properly, can you?”

The swell of aether peaked, and Runya didn’t hesitate a moment to unleash it with a snap of his fingers and a single thought that released like the trigger of a gun.

“Do me a favor and die, Imperial.”

A beam roared from Blue’s jaws, at that; a single, focused beam that yet remained jagged around the edges, raging with unaspected raw aether that sparked and cracked around it as a lightning bolt, crossing the span in an instant and with a sonic boom of displaced air that set dust and dirt flying from the shockwave...and the beam itself slammed straight into the large cracked orb at the Ruby Weapon’s center.

It went straight through, cutting through metal and crystal and auracite and who knew what else more smoothly than a knife through wet paper. The Ruby Weapon screamed at the blow, reeling back as its claws withdrew from the earth, but Runya barely heard it for his own crazed laughter, a sound echoed by Blue himself as they hovered like a dark carrion-bird above the dying corpse of its prey. 

“Oh, you’re still alive? My congratulations, soldier, you’re a little more stubborn than I expected!”

The Ruby Weapon glared balefully up at him with its single remaining eye, the snarl carved into its face never letting up a moment, even when its pilot spoke. “...Legatus Silentius had some idea of what he was doing.”

“Oh, and you knew about him? Charming, now I have another reason to kill you.” Blue swooped low and landed, but kept his wings spread as he advanced, armor still glowing faintly and his jaws still steaming from the shot he had fired earlier. “I’ll be sure to take my time just like you were. It’s only fair.”

“You won’t get the chance, Eorzean.”

“Ah, another thing you’re wrong about.” Runya laughed low in his throat, that strange smile still on his face as his Resonance-glow eyes narrowed. “I’m hardly on their side, either. No more than I’m on theirs.” 

“Activating mode: Oversoul.”

The Ruby Weapon’s back rippled, at that. Even though it was clearly on its knees and sparking and barely able to so much as twitch, the thick armor of its back stirred, and though Blue had before been just as murderously focused as Runya had been, allowing his mind to float along on the river of Blue’s bloodlust, now it was shot through with sudden dread that neither of them could explain. 

But Runya...Runya was still caught up in his own hatreds, and so when Blue hesitated more than just a moment, he shoved forward roughly on the controls and just as roughly on Blue’s thoughts, even though he may as well have been pushing against the tide.

“Go, damn you, we won’t get a better shot at killing the two of them than this--”

That armor on the Ruby Weapon’s back cracked, opening like an egg and revealing something white and disgustingly slick that rose like a larva...at least, before it suddenly spread wings. Dragon wings. And not just any dragon’s wings, either-- 

Blue took a few steps back, and instead of mantling over the Ruby Weapon, now he was flaring his wings defensively, that sense of dread intensifying until Runya was struggling to keep focused on anything but that. “What’s your problem?!” he hissed, but he just got more of the wordless fear in response. “It’s just another thing to kill...”

The figure that hatched from the Ruby Weapon was not unfamiliar to him, however, and in the dreadful moment where she straightened up and stared with undisguised smugness and disgust at him, he had to just stare a moment to realize that yes that WAS Nael van Darnus, but how--?

The skies reddened above, the earth lit afire from below in a radiating pattern of hellfire, and above all of it, a blood-red moon appeared, only to burst into brilliant Allagan patterns and reveal itself to be not just any moon but Dalamud descending, bringing a violent hail of comets with it, all of them screaming from the sky and some of them landing just short of Blue--he remembered this from years ago, but he was more confused than frightened of it but then where was this sudden terror coming from it roiled up so violently from outside his head but inside it that he was forced to let go of the controls and grab his head and hiss a swear in pain as his own heart felt like it was going to rip itself out of his chest in paralyzing fear...

Blue kept staring. But as the former Ruby Weapon’s pilot panicked and tried and failed to keep control, her mind obliterated in a single telepathic swipe, and as Nael outstretched her hands to the image of Dalamud and commanded it to wipe the earth clean of these unworthy souls, Runya felt Blue vibrating--no, shaking...

And Blue screamed.

[emma-nation]

In My Veins (KamilahxMC) - Season 2 - Chapter 2

Summary: Inspired by Lovestruck’s “Havenfall is For Lovers” (Antonio). Amy seems to finally have solved her feelings for Kamilah, but when somebody from her past returns, their relationship will be put to test.

Genre: Romance, Angst

Rating: T

KamilahxMC Tag List: @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @annabellewerecorgi, @voltos9, @scorpistraub, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @spacecarrousel, @justejuste727, @aureliaxj, @graceschoices, @sleeping-with-her06, @supersphynxsworld, @gavryllo, @galaxyside-0, @msuhailey, @zoe6111, @ptxgirwaffles, @tigerbryn11, @shanuuh, @riyalovestaylor, @honorablebicycle, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @begging-for-kamilah, @kennaxval, @fal-carrington 

Was it possible for someone who had been dead for over two thousand years to return to life? A few months back, Amy would say it was obviously impossible, but now she that was part of a world that she never imagined being real, she was facing that possibility.

Kamilah stared at her cell phone screen. Her perfect tan skin became pale and her beautiful brown eyes were wide in shock. She attempted to open her mouth to say something several times, but no words would come out.

“Kamilah,” Amy touched her arm in support, “are you sure that was really your brother?”

“I am. I haven’t seen Lysimachus for 2038 years, but I could never mistake him for anybody else. Amy, that was my brother in this screen and he needs my help.”

She started walking around the mansion, in a rhythm Amy couldn’t quite keep up with. First, she went outside for some air, then she went back to her office, searching for something.

“What are you looking for?” Amy asked, getting anxious to see her walking in circles.

“My phone,” Kamilah answered. “Where did I leave it?”

“It’s in your hands.”

Kamilah glanced at her hands and rolled her eyes. She attempting to contact Adrian but her shaking hands wouldn’t allow her to dial. Completely disturbed, she grabbed her car keys, heading to the garage.

“Wait, I’m coming with–” Amy shouted, following her. She didn’t have time to even change her clothes. Wearing a shirt and sweatpants, she joined Kamilah in her car.

In the driver’s seat, Kamilah stood frozen at the wheel, unable to start driving.

“Kamilah,” Amy told her. “You need to calm down. You’re having a panic attack. You’re not even breathing properly.”

“I don’t need to breathe at all.”

Yet, she followed Amy’s suggestion, taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly.

“I-I don’t know where he is!” Kamilah finally said, a little more calm. “I can’t do nothing to help him! They… They’re going to take him from me again…”

Amy never knew exactly what happened to Kamilah’s twin brother. It was a touchy subject and all she’d get from her was that Lysimachus was taken by the Romans.

“I know this isn’t the most appropriate moment but, what exactly happened to your brother? Did you actually see the body when the Romans took him?”

“I did,” Kamilah told, avoiding Amy’s gaze. She sighed before proceeding. “I was the one to set up his funeral. And the only one to mourn his death.”

“Is it possible he’s a vampire too?”

“No. It’s hard to explain to a mortal, but… I’d be able to tell.”

The rest of the drive to Raines Corporation was completely silent. Adrian wasn’t there yet, so Amy suggested they should go to the coffee shop he had inside the company. Kamilah ordered two cups of her usual strong black coffee.

“Who do you think that is keeping him?” Amy asked curious for the answer, but she already had one person in mind.

“I don’t know,” Kamilah pondered for a few seconds. “Being alive for 2063 years, I’ve made a lot of enemies.”

“What about Jameson? Being a psychic, is it possible he created an illusion for both of us to see?”

“I don’t think so. Besides, he’s safely imprisoned at the Shadow Den.”

After her incident, Amy hadn’t hear of Jameson’s whereabouts again. For safety reasons, Adrian and Kamilah kept the information for themselves. They still hadn’t caught which member of The Council was working with Jameson and Gaius.

“I’m sorry,” Amy reached for Kamilah’s hand, “but I can only think of one person.”

“Gaius,” Kamilah squeezed her hand tightly. “He wants to torture me. Make me pay for my betrayal.”

“We’ll find him. It’s just a matter of time. Besides, what would be the point of bringing your brother back to life and kill him again?”

“You don’t know Gaius, Amy. The things he’s capable of. But I admire your optimism, really. I don’t know what I’d do without it.”

A small smile appeared in the corners of Kamilah’s lips. Her cold hands were finally getting warm again in Amy’s touch.

Minutes later, Nicole Anderson, one of Adrian’s most trusted employees, delivered the news.

“Ms. Sayeed, Mr. Raines is ready to see you.”

She gave Amy a nasty scowl, like always, suggesting she wasn’t allowed to participate the meeting. If Amy suspected anyone, that was Nicole. Her attitude around her, especially after Lily was Turned, made it obvious she had other intentions in mind, other than becoming a vampire. Adrian was convinced she was only hurt she’d have to wait longer to accomplish her goals.

“Should I come with you?” Amy asked Kamilah.

“I’d rather if you stay here,” Kamilah told. “It’s too personal.”

Nicole smirked and walked away, followed by Kamilah. While she discussed her options with Adrian, Amy had her own ideas in mind.

———-

It wasn’t the smartest idea, but Amy was willing to do anything to ease Kamilah’s pain. She decided to take the measure in her own hands, paying a visit where she knew she could obtain some useful information.

“That’s it,” she finished telling Jax at the Shadow Den. “I suspected he could’ve escaped and could be playing tricks with our minds.”

“No, he’s been safely locked here for months,” Jax told. “But is it really possible? To bring someone, that has been dead for so long, back to life?”

“I don’t know yet.“

Part of her wanted Lysimachus to be alive. This way Kamilah would finally find some peace and happiness in her life. The other part wanted it to be fake, fearing how this entire situation could be changing everything, including their relationship.

“There you are,” Jax announced when they arrived at an underground dungeon. “Are you really sure you want to be alone with him?”

“I have to,” Amy nodded.

Jax shrugged and made his way back to the Shadow Den. Amy approached one of the cells. In a dark corner, she could see a figure, a little affected by the lack of blood and freedom.

“Amy,” Jameson smirked, “I knew sooner or later you’d come to me. Now tell me, what are you here for, my precious child?”

“I’m here for answers.”

“Oh the doubts… the doubts about who you truly are, your origins… it was about time.”

“What the hell are you talking about, psycho?!” Amy frowned and crossed her arms. “I’m here to ask you about Kamilah’s twin brother!”

“Her twin brother… Lysimachus was his name. He is dead, since 35 BCE. Or am I wrong?”

“He was. Until somebody brought him back to life.”

“I know nothing about it,” Jameson showed his handcuffed hands, “I’ve been a prisoner at this place for long weeks now.”

“I thought you could be using your little mind tricks,” Amy said. “Is there anybody else like you, that could do the same?”

“Only a few. But they do not live in New York City. I’m afraid they couldn’t be creating this illusion.”

“Then?”

“I assume my Master has achieved his goals. This is a proof, my dear Amy, of only part of what you can do.”

“W-What… has Gaius used my blood to bring him back to life?”

It all made sense now. Gaius disappeared, taking multiple bags of Amy’s blood with him. It shouldn’t be enough to resurect the First Vampire, but enough to make Kamilah’s brother live again.

Jameson limped until he was face to face with Amy, behind the cell bars. He gazed deeply into her eyes.

“A true descendant of Rheya,” he smirked. “Look at you. So weak, so frail… and deep down you hide all your potential. Your true self.”

His eyes were hypnotizing, Amy began to feel involved by them. The world around her started to spin, and she felt pulled into a vision.

She walked on the streets of New York City, but everything was in ruins. Buildings had been completely destroyed. The streets were empty. She could see corpses and puddles of blood everywhere she looked at.

“No…” Amy muttered.

Searching for Kamilah, she stopped in front of Ahmanet Financial’s building. Inside, she could hear a weak voice calling for her.

“Kamilah?”

In the main hall, she spotted not only her girlfriend, but also Adrian, Lily and Jax, severely injured. One by one they started converting into ashes.

“No!” Amy cried, kneeling beside Kamilah. “W-What happened… W-What did…”

“Amy,” Kamilah told, her body slowly fading in Amy’s embrace. “You can stop it…”

Another figure appeared in the vision. A woman. Amy felt somehow drawn by her presence.

“When the sap of the tree rests in the blessed chalice… the skies shall turn red, the earth shall be torn asunder… and the First shall walk again.”

“Who are you?” Amy asked.

“Rebirth… Reunification…”

Suddenly she was quickly pulled out from the vision. Jameson was still observing her, amazed.

“It seems like I’ve underestimated you, My Lady.”

With tears running down her cheeks and her heart thundering inside her chest, Amy quickly stormed off back to the Shadow Den.

“Amy,” Jax’s eyes went wide in surprise, seeing her state, “what happened down there? What did he…”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

———-

Returning to Raines Corporation, Amy learned Kamilah had already left to her company. A taxi dropped her in front of Ahmanet Financial and she entered, trying to recompose herself. Kamilah was already dealing with a lot. Bothering her with a vision, probably created by Jameson’s twisted mind, would be even selfish.

She was already known and respected by Kamilah’s employees. All of them knew she wasn’t only her assistant, but the woman that had been changing her life for better.

As usual, the female vampire was in her office behind a pile of papers. This was how Kamilah handled stress, by sinking herself into work.

“Hey,” Amy entered the office. “Adrian told me you left. I came here to check how you’re doing.”

Kamilah sighed and placed the papers aside.

“Amy, I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I needed a moment by myself. To organize my thoughts.”

“That’s okay,” Amy said, with a hint of disappointed.

“I have something to show you,” Kamilah revealed a hidden panel on her desk. She pressed her palm against it and from inside a secret drawer she retrieved a small object wrapped in cloth. “This is my most prized possession and I’m glad to share this with you.”

Amy looked at the wooden horse toy in her hands.

“Is it your brother’s?”

“Yes,” Kamilah thought. The corners of her lips curled up a little bit as she thought of her memories. “Our mother died when we were young, and our father was away at war, so Lysimachus and I practically raised ourselves. It was hard, but… there were still moments of joy. Of love. Of safety. This horse… it was his favorite toy. Our uncle gave it to him when we were five, and he treasured it long after he stopped being a child. The little brat would never share it with me either. So I’d have to steal it. And then he’d steal it back. That was a game unto itself. He only gave it to me once. When he left for the war. He told me to take care of it. Because he’d want it when he got back. And then he…”

“Kamilah…” Amy gently placed her hand over hers, she didn’t want the female vampire to feel any more stress or pressure.

“It doesn’t matter. I just know that I have to keep it safe.”

She wrapped the horse up and gently tucked it back into the drawer.

“I have something to tell you too,” Amy bit her lower lip nervously, as she knew it wasn’t something Kamilah would be pleased to hear. “I went to see Jameson at the dungeon. He told me…”

“You did what?!” Kamilah expression changed, from exhausted she looked completely angry. “Amy, have you forgotten what happened 24 hours ago? You were alone with a vampire for only a few minutes and you almost got killed!”

“Nothing happened to me, okay?!” Amy raised her voice too. “God, I’m tired of being the damsel in distress, who always need to be saved by Kamilah Sayeed, the Vampire Queen.”

For a moment she wished what Jameson told her was real. That inside her, she was carrying a dormant power. A power greater than any Vampire ever had, even Gaius. A power that would make them all bend to her will.

“Amy?” Kamilah was suddenly in front of her, touching her arm. “You spaced out. Are you feeling well?”

“No,” Amy placed a hand on her forehead. How could she be having that kind of thoughts? Jameson really knew how to play with people’s minds. “I think I’m tired. I should get some rest.”

She had barely reached the couch when Kamilah’s phone started ringing again, making them both freeze. With shaking hands, the female vampire answered.

Amy approached, watching the screen. It was the same young male as before, but this time he was lying on a bed, looking extremely weak and pale.

“B-Brother…” Kamilah called, obtaining no answer. “Are you alright? Brother! Talk to me.”

“He must be sleeping,” Amy tried to assure her, deep down she had the impression Lysimachus was in some sort of coma, or worse.

Somebody else approached the screen. A man. Only his figure on the screen was enough to give Amy shivers.

“Hello, My Queen. It’s always a pleasure to see you.”

Amy recognized that voice, from the day she was trapped in the library. She never could see his face, but his ancient and creepy voice marked her memory.

“G-Gaius! What did you do to my brother? What do you want from me?”

“This world has changed so much since I was betrayed by my progeny. I can’t tell exactly where we are. But you’re smart enough to figure out, My Queen. After all, you’ve built your own little empire around the planet.”

Kamilah clenched her fists in anger.

“Come quickly, My Queen. You’re running out of time. Or do you wanna lose him again?”

[spideychelleforever]

When Spider-MJ Survived the Snap But Peter Didn’t: Epilogue

It had been five years since she and Tony had held Peter as he sobbed and cried and begged for help as he faded away. Five years since MJ had desperately, weakly pleaded with the universe, “no, please, no, not my baby, please not my baby,” as if it cared that she was in love with him and he was dying before her eyes. He wasn’t even hers, anyway, because she’d been so stupid and blind to the precious time they did have together, and how she’d taken it for granted.

It had been five years since MJ’s life was destroyed in the span of a minute as she watched those sweet, sweet eyes of Peter’s fade away as he seemed to watch himself die in despair.

Five years later, MJ knew she would never forget the day her life ended. That she would likely never completely move on from what had happened. She couldn’t erase five years of crying, aching, and heartbreak.

But what she could do now, however, was lean on her boyfriend Peter Parker for support as much as he needed to lean on her.

[[MORE]]

****

Peter and MJ returned to Midtown, and cried again as they desperately hugged Ned. Peter was the one who learned his other best friend was another victim, upon seeing he hadn’t aged a day since he last saw him. But finally, the trio was reunited again.

They had to repeat the school year over again, so that fucking blowed, but they reasoned if it meant more time together, they could take it.

Time.

Time was something so precious, so pure, so priceless. Even after all she’d gone through, MJ wondered if she really understood how much time meant. She figured she should by now, given she was one of the pioneers of time travel. But she was admittedly kind of afraid she didn’t properly understand how precious it was. Sometimes she worried she was taking it for granted.

She’d been given a second chance just as much as Peter, Ned, May, and the other victims had been given. Only Stephen had given her five years back so she could return to being Peter’s age - with a time-displaced Time Stone, meaning that this freebie could never, ever happen again.

Or could it? After all she’d seen, after befriending people like Rocket and Carol and time travel and the Snap, was anything really impossible? She had to keep that in mind, but nonetheless, the gravity of what Stephen had given her was never lost on her.

Besides, she thought. She was in a relationship with Peter Parker, the boy she thought was too good and pure to ever notice how weird and dark and lonely she was; the boy who died a horrible death but came back smiling like nothing had happened. The boy she’d pined after for five years, then grieved another five years. Thinking back, she knew that if Peter had stayed dead, she would’ve never dated or married anyone. As silly as it was, Peter was her person, and even if she died remembering Peter’s death 80 years before, she knew he was the only one for her.

Now he was holding her hand when they walked, buying her her favorite tea, giving her kisses and Goodnight texts. Now he was telling her how much he cared about her and wanted to make her happy.

Thinking all of that made her laugh, too. The universe had been torn asunder, she’d lost all her friends and family, the universe had been saved, and of course, MJ was thinking about how in love she was with Peter. Priorities, Jones.

Their relationship bloomed over the school year. May heartily approved, and so did her parents. Oh dear god, her reunion with her parents was something else. In her grief she’d forgotten a lot of people, and it was certainly weird to explain to them that no, she wasn’t also a victim of the Snap, and what Stephen had done. But they accepted it, saying that if that meant they got five years back with their baby, they were nothing but happy.

A class trip to Europe took place the following summer, and MJ helped Peter defeat disgruntled former Stark employee #35729, Quentin Beck. On a bridge in London, she showed Peter the broken black dahlia necklace, and when she said she preferred it broken, Peter finally told her what he had planned to tell her atop the Eiffel Tower.

“I’m in love with you, Michelle,” he said with a starstruck, awed smile.

MJ’s face nearly broke from smiling so hard. “I’m in love with you, too, Peter.” And they shared a series of progressively better kisses to seal it off.

****

Years passed.

Graduation happened. College acceptance letters happened. College happened. Failing classes happened. MJ’s thighs getting thick and fat happened. The Dean’s list happened. Peter briefly growing facial hair then shaving it off happened. Their first time happened. More threats happened, city level and Avengers level. Graduation from college happened. Masters degree, then a PHD happened. Dr. Michelle Jones happened.

Ten years after Peter had returned from beyond the veil, he had suggested they take a walk through a park that was conveniently close to the middle school they’d met at. Where MJ first laid eyes on the little nerd with mousy hair and a high, squeaky voice, and though she didn’t know it at the time, her heart had gone that day, never to be reclaimed again.

The sun was setting, and they walked from the park to outskirts of the school grounds, and eventually took a seat on a bench, enjoying the comfortable silence as they felt a cool breeze make its way past them to the rolling hills of the park.

“MJ? Are you happy?” Peter suddenly asked.

MJ laughed. “Quite the conversation starter.”

“But yes. Yes, I am.” MJ squeezed his hand in hers. “With you.”

That seemed to pump something into Peter. He let go of her hand and stood up over her. “Then MJ, I want to say this before anything else.”

“I love you. I’m in love with you. However I need to put it, MJ, I’m yours. You are the most important person in my life and I could not live without you. You’re the most incredible, breathtaking, wonderful person there is and I wish I had noticed you sooner so we could have had even more time together. But that’s alright, because I want to spend all my time with you. I want to build my life with you. So MJ-“

“Let me stop you right there,” MJ said suddenly, before Peter could move again. Now she had gotten up, and Peter nearly fainted as he watched his girlfriend take his hands and get down on one knee in front of him.

“MJ, what are you doing-“ Peter gasped desperately.

“You died fifteen years ago,” MJ started, a lump in her throat, “and like I’ve told you, I spent every day for the next five years a shell of a person because I was already in fucking love with you, and I wanted to see you again. Even if you never noticed me, I wanted you alive again because you are the kind of person, Peter, who makes everyone’s lives better because you’re in them. There is no way to scientifically measure just how good you are. That’s why I fell in love with you the day we met at this school. That’s why I knew those five years that I would never find anyone else. Because you’re the one for me, Peter Benjamin Parker, and I never want to let you go, either.” MJ sucked in a sharp breath because now, she couldn’t help it, a few tears were steaming down her face.

“But I’ve known for a while you were planning this so.. so get on your knee and pull it out, Peter.”

Peter looked at her in confusion, interrupting his pure smile, but he realized what she was saying, and did as she suggested. He got down on one knee right in front of MJ, and pulled the ring from his pocket.

Before he could say it, MJ beat him. “Let’s ask at the same time?”

“Okay,” Peter nodded, in awe of what was happening.

“Peter, will you marry me?” “Michelle, will you marry me?”

Both were crying by now.

“Yes.” “Yes.”

And they kissed slowly, deliberately, trying to get all of their emotions into it, knowing that this was one of the most important moments of their lives and still being in awe of it.

And as MJ grinned through her tears, Peter put the ring on her finger. “You know,” Peter said, “Dr. Jones-Parker is such a badass name and you’re gonna rock it.”

MJ laughed. “You never know, I might just take Dr. Parker. I like that name. A certain loser has it as his last name and I like that loser a lot, so..”

Peter grinned. “I can’t believe I’m your fiancé.”

MJ sniffled. “I’m very observant, so I saw it coming a while ago. But this is-this is perfect.”

“It is,” Peter agreed. And they stayed there facing each other on one knee each until their legs hurt.

****

Despite the utter exhaustion she was feeling, MJ couldn’t stop crying, feeling the extra heat of the tiny body bundled in white that she was holding to her. Peter was sitting right next to her in a chair, his face nuzzled against her and their daughter.

It had been seventeen years since Peter had died in MJ’s arms. Despite all the happiness that had taken place in their lives in the intervening years, seventeen years later, as they both held their baby girl, both of them felt like their lives had started anew again.

And they were ready to enjoy it together.

****

This has been a mammoth undertaking that I never knew I had in me. I want to thank my crush @you-guys--are-losers and my dear @spiderman-homecomeme , you two lovelies always inspire me so. I want to thank dearest @theslytherinterran for their constant, unyielding feedback and support. I want to thank @parallelmarvel , one of the Tumblr loves of my life. To @peterjonesparker , who started it all with her amazing series that got me into this fandom in the first place. To @sodafizzyart for always taking my illustration requests and KILLING it each time.

And to the rest of my regular tag-list, all of you being sweet, sweet dears who make me feel special and loved. @spideychelle @spideyxchelle @spideychelle-romanogers @lovely-iris-west-allen @wandrlust-stark @acastleintheair @miranduh1 @seek-rest @tare8chan and allllll the rest.

Thank you all. Spideychelle Forever.

[hellsbovnd-archive]

SURVIVORS.

focus: Quirinius quo Renata, older brother of Janos jen Renata. wc: 1580

the dust settles, and...

Little thing I had the urge to write when I got up this morning. I have no plans to RP Quirinius but I think that the way others treat Janos counts as developing Janos’s character and giving insight into where he came from!

Quirinius himself is the eldest of the four Renata brothers (birth order is: Quirinius quo Renata, Amantius pyr Renata, Janos jen Renata, and Paschal bas Renata though Paschal will be nan Renata if he manages to graduate from the Academy)!

Winter had taken hold of the Imperial capital, though some years it was difficult to tell if it had even let go in the first place. No sooner than ‘summer’ turned to ‘autumn’ was the ground underfoot covered in a fresh layer of dry snow, not as deep as it would be when ‘autumn’ turned to ‘winter’ but nevertheless a reminder that the Garlean people were ruled by hardship deep within Ilsabard’s freezing northern mountains. The same wind that blew loose snowflakes around danced through Quirinus’s long, mousy-blond hair—he hadn’t bothered to pull it back into its usual braid.

Quirinius’s boots crunched the snow down into distinct footprints, his footing sure despite the layer of ice that quickly formed underneath the snow from repeated meltings and re-freezings during the seasonal transition. He had made a habit of, every two years, requesting a brief leave of absence to spend time with his family; Amantius didn’t give him the same consideration and Janos’s performance wasn’t good enough to earn him any such allowances, but it was always nice to see his mother and the youngest of the Renata brothers. There were some odd occasions where his father even made it out to spend a few weeks in the winter together.

He wished that the reason for his early return, just after the cusp of autumn and not in the depths of winter, was as simple as that. There had been an incident, was all that Quirinius had been told; as he swapped letters with Amantius frequently he could reasonably surmise that he was alright. As a Centurion, he was no stranger to the dangers that military work could pose. It was less of a threat the closer to the capital one served, and at the moment Quirinius was assigned to a province in north-central Ilsabard, relatively close to the capital when compared to where Amantius and Janos had been sent. He had seen the battlefield only during War of Succession and when the Domans thought that they would take the opportunity to rebel. But despite his experiences—watching men fight and die—something knotted in his stomach at the thought of one of his family members fighting or dying.

Particularly because the only one of the Renata brothers who he was no longer in touch with wasn’t even a soldier. Even if Janos (and his numerous failings) was a stain on the Renata family’s good record and his father had threatened to have his name stricken if he didn’t shape up, Quirinius had done his best to look after him and keep him in line as any good older brother would. Quirinius was closer with Janos than Amantius had been—perhaps that was why Quirinius was the member of the family who’d actually bothered to return to the capital for this—and still thought of him as family regardless of their father’s thoughts on the matter.

His feet carried him to a tall, imposing building: administrative in nature but still tied to one of the hospitals in the district. It inspired some hope that Janos was alive and had simply been sent back to the capital in light of the fact that the castrum he’d been stationed at was shredded by its own warmachina. But Quirinius knew that it would be better for everyone involved if he kept his hopes in check.

Outside, the wind threatened to freeze one’s fingers off, but the inside of the building was pleasantly warm. Several Purebloods and the rare non-Garlean who had earned the privilege of living in the capital were streaming through its doors; this late, Quirinius wouldn’t have been surprised if most of the affected had learned the fate of their loved ones already. Some seemed to be devastated, carrying small, engraved boxes or signaculorum; others relieved beyond words. He paused for a moment to watch the people make their way down the steps leading up to the building and into the street, where they went their separate ways.

He hesitated for a moment before he headed into the building. Quirinus was greeted by an empty waiting room, which made his life easier because there was no one in front of him waiting… But also much, much harder because he didn’t have the time to mentally prepare himself for the worst. He supposed maybe he could have done that on the way—too late—but he was used to being called on late on alphabetical lists. His footsteps were slow, tentative as he made his way to the front desk, where a Pureblood woman sat behind a thick pane of bulletproof glass. She wore glasses and her black hair was pulled up into a neat bun, the sort of hairstyle that perfectly complimented her business-formal attire and her role as a bureaucrat.

“Your name and ID, sir?” Her voice was warm but her eyes were cold, almost detached—but not necessarily in the way Quirinius expected from a woman who probably spent the better part of her day consoling those whose loved ones were not coming home or who had to be hospitalized and may or may not be able to return to the field.

He fished out his ID card and slid it through a narrow slot where the glass met the surface of the counter. “Quirinius quo Renata. I’m here about Janos jen Renata.”

She brought her pen up to her lips and clicked her tongue. “Jen Renata, let’s see… Ah, here.” She glanced to a screen before retrieving a clipboard from below the counter.

Quirinius quirked a brow but took it, tentatively skimming the document. Most of it was pretty standard: personal details for identification purposes, occupation, status…

STATUS: MISSING IN ACTION

He paused there, his eyes lingering at the words but not really reading them, not really understanding their meaning. He set the clipboard down and slid it back through the gap. The woman slid Janos’s signaculum through the gap in return: some kind of keepsake, he supposed. He held up the metal tags and they glinted in the dim, artificial light—it seemed odd to think of the tags as the last thing he might have of his brother. Missing could mean a lot of things, after all; it could mean he was dead, could mean he was captured by whoever orchestrated the attack (rebels? It was too early to say), could mean he deserted amidst the chaos but Quirinius didn’t think his brother the type to desert. Janos loved the Empire. He loved his homeland and he believed in their cause.

Quirinus bowed his head and thanked the woman before turning on his heel and making his way out of the building.

The realization only fully hit him later, that Janos was missing and might not be found. That there was a non-zero possibility that he deserted, and that maybe his father was right in thinking that Janos would be better off stricken from the record.

The Renata household was empty when Quirinius returned that night, his mother having been called away earlier that week and the youngest Renata brother, Paschal, having apparently decided to spend the night at the library to study for midterms. It was a quiet that suited Quirinius just fine; the quiet would help him cope. Well, the quiet coupled with a nice glass of red wine imported from one of the southern provinces. It had been a while since Quirinius had felt the desire to drink, and in lieu of any vodka to take the edge off of the gnawing dread that coiled in the pit of his stomach, wine would have to do.

Quirinius couldn’t bring himself to look at Janos’s signaculum, or for that matter to think of the circumstances that must have transpired for the metal tags to be left behind with no sign of Janos himself to be found. Their purpose was to identify the fallen, but they didn’t do much good without a body to go with them. At least if Quirinius had been given Janos’s ashes, he could have the time to mourn knowing for certain that his brother was dead. But what did missing in action tell him? What did the pair of metal tags that bore Janos’s name and rank tell him? What could he tell his family? They’d received news of the incident, Quirinius was sure, but it would be up to the eldest Renata brother to break the news to the rest of his family, and maybe then their father really would strike Janos from the record. Even if Janos had died, what were the chances that that death was even honorable?

He kicked back the third glass of wine in one go. Not strong enough. He had several days before he needed to return to his post and no one was home to watch or scold him. It was fine.

This was fine.

No. It’s not fine.

Quirinius knew just below the surface that it wasn’t fine. He wanted some more conclusive answer that at least he could parse instead of getting some nebulous answer that he had to worry himself over. He never lost sleep when his men or colleagued died before—that was the occupational risk. But Janos wasn’t one of his men, he was his blood brother, and he hadn’t signed up to be cleaved in half by a Colossus or torn asunder by a Magitek Claw.

He wanted to know where his fucking brother was.

[amepcrdue]

Questions about Villainous Muses…

1. What would it have taken to prevent your muse from becoming a villain?

Raph started his late teens as a villain, having been molded by an uncaring environment with parents who dealt more with stately affairs than with him. It taught him not to trust nor care about others and it reflected in every move he made. Amy saving him had changed so much inside him that his heart grew three sizes that day. I think the start of spiraling back into villainy was when he poisoned Lord Dumas because he asked Raphael to send Amy away to an orphanage in order to be officially made his son. Raphael would have done anything for her and murdering the old man was so easy. And it tapped back into that darkness that lived in his heart and left him more susceptible to the influence of the sword. While his mind had to be utterly torn to shreds for his body to become the host for Soul Edge because Raph’s will was too strong, even in death, it was still able to poison his mind and Azwel was able to manipulate Raphael further. Everything from there went downhill. Had Azwel never outed Amy as a non-noble in front of Lord Dumas, Dumas would never have figured out Amy was not Raphael’s biological daughter and Raphael wouldn’t have felt compelled to kill him. He rather liked the old man and everyone in the citadel up until that point. Afterward, the only ones he showed any kindness to, or any regard at all were Amy and the governess Maelys.

2. Despite their villainy, does your muses subscribe to some sort of ethical/honor code that guides their behavior?

I think Raphael, for as heartless and cold as he is when at the peak of his evil, I don’t think he would kill a kid. Even in his destined fight with Talim he says time for your nap, and I choose to believe he incapacitated her, not killing her. I think Amy has a lot to do with that. She was his moral anchor, he strived to be a better person because he had another to care for. But outside of that? He was otherwise utterly reprehensible. 

3. When was the last time your muse cried for someone else’s sake?

I think he was wracked emotionally about never being able to provide Amy with what she needed, and while he cried when he met her, it was more relief that she had helped him survive, so more for his sake than her’s. I think the first time he cried was when he returned home from his fight with Nightmare and after almost a month on death’s door and as his body malfested and his mind further rotted into darkness and madness, his first bit of clarity in that time was realizing Amy was gone and that he had failed her. He wept then for what her uncertain fate was and then the darkness took him completely. 

4. Are there any ethical/moral lines your muse will not cross?

Again, he wouldn’t kill a child, but he would fight them if they tried to stop him (re: Talim). I mean listen, this guy was bent on causing utter chaos and mass death to stop the feuding nobles when he was stuck in his soul edge induced madness. And then he malfested the Romanian Valley of Wallachia out of grief for losing Amy (in my blended timeline, since we aren’t getting malfested Amy in the revised timeline) and had them finish decimating an army that tried to stop him. The man has very few lines he won’t cross.

5. Mun, you could have spent the time and effort you dedicate to your museIf roleplaying as a hero. Why did you decide to roleplay as a villain?

I truly truly love heroes, and anti-heroes too, but when I played MKDA (the konquest mode and later the tower) I thought that Frost was a good guy… and turned she wasn’t, but I’m okay with roleplaying a villain. I mean, it is kind of different from writing a muse with heroical intentions, perhaps my decision is more attached to the fact that I love the character but don’t care much about her moral decisions (and some of them worry me). Part of me enjoys writing her as the villain she is supposed to be in canon, and another part of me wishes for her to settle down and think clearer.

6. If questioned about their evil behavior, what excuse would your muse give to justify it?

He was sick on the idea that he could make a better world if he got rid of the warring nobles, no matter the body count that ensued. He thought he could justify it (a lot of it was also the sword needing more souls but he wouldn’t have realized it at the time). And then later as he wreaked havoc in Wallachia? It was all because he was suffering and inflicting his grief and anguish on those who lived in the valley below him. He spread his sickness. He was their plague. 

7. Does your muse have the potential to be a loving parent? The question addresses their ability to feel a child’s emotional needs, not the muse’s ability to physically procreate.

I MEAN... WE ALREADY KNOW HE IS A DEEPLY DEVOTED DAD SO...

8. If your muse could feel the emotional pain of the people they hurt, would this deter their villainous behavior?

I don’t think he had the capacity to feel much beyond his own suffering. It blinded him to much else. I think there were potentially moments where his humanity would show through, but they were brief, fleeting.  

9. What punishment does the mun think would be justifiable for the muse?

Considering he lost everything 3 times, each as a result of horrendous behavior and each behavior worse than the last... canon did a pretty good job. After SCIV he died and his mind was ripped asunder while his corpse was used as a vessel for the very sword that cursed him in the first place and set his life in ruin all three times (okay, i genuinely believe he was killed by siegfried with soul calibur not soul edge, but soul edge still got him in the end so stay with me). And so reclaiming his body with all the skills he had before but none of the memories except a strong need to find an unknown entity named Amy has been a continual punishment. Made worse as he unravels his own mystery and learns that he was once a good man... and once a very very very terrible one as well. Learning that this was who he was, and the painful flashes of memory and the debilitating pain that rips through his right arm (the one that became the nightmare arm), he continually faces his punishment. Canon really set up some good shit for this and then did nothing with it. And the fact that while his body was being used and going by the name of the man he poisoned all those years ago, Soul Edge had sent constant barrages of assassins after two who rebelled against him, Z.W.E.I. and Viola. Viola who was once Amy but no longer knows who she is either. So like yeah, he’s not having a good time post-resurrection. At all. 

tagged by: stole it from @pxlariis​

tagging: hey baddies do the thing.

[millennial-star-gazer]

Grey Days( reuploadfrom dragon-shield-maiden account)

Grey Days

Vera's May Prompt Challenge 2018 Prompt(s)9when on dragon-shieldmaiden): "Don't leave me! (Sort of implied in an angsty sense of the word) Genres: Romance, Fantasy, Friendship/Family, Angst/Drama Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy(due to this being from Natsu's/E.N.D's Perspective), Gothic fiction, and Poetry

Characters: Natsu/E.N.D, Lucy , Gray, Diamara, Igneel and Zeref Pairing: Nalu/Endlu (Natsu x Lucy/ E.n.d Natsu x Lucy)

Rating: K+-T for some violence, references to death, mature and dark themes. Reader Discretion is advised for those younger than 12 or 13 years and/or anyone who may not at the level of development (maturity) to handle such heavy subject matter . Side note: Please use your own judgement and proceed with caution before deciding to read If uncertain as to whether you're comfortable with such themes.

Summary: Without his most precious star and father's light, the demon of hellfire is lost—all days perpetually gray. For the loss of his beloved really does drive the heart mad. A retelling of the events surrounding Natsu's/E.n.d's transformation (chapters 503-505) from his perspective in poem form. Title taken from the song of the same name by Chelsea Wolfe. Originally  For Vera's May Prompt Challenge and  Nalu angst week 2018 on previous accounts . Nalu/Endlu

A/N: Hey guys, it's your girl Millennial Stargazer (formerly known as twishadowhunter/ comsicdragonqizard/dragon-shield-maiden/star-crossed-dragon! I'm finally back under a new name (on fanfiction and tumblr as millennial-star-gazer) after months of forced hiatus due to personal extenuating circumstances (which can be explained via private message for those who already don't know why) This time it's an reupload of an installment in the wonderful universe of Fairytail—an angsty gothic little ditty retelling the events of chapters 503-505 and other related chapters mostly from Natsu/E.n.d's perspective which was originally as an entry for Vera's May Prompt Challenge and for Nalu angst week 2018 on my previous dragon-shield-maiden account (tumblr). As you may know, the title is taken from the evocative song of the same name by the lovely Chelsea Wolfe which has heavily inspired the poem.

Yes, I know there's been a lot of poems on my profiles, though I do also write other kinds of non-poetry works if my ongoing fics Tantric Flames and the Draconic Demon -soon to be reuploaded by the way- among others are anything to go by). Also partially by Within Temptation's The Heart of Everything plus the musical body of works from Peter Grundy (Bury My Heart) Brunuhville (River of Tears), Nights Amore (This Dreadful Emptiness , That Which is Called Void, Twisted Goa: Lone Deranger , and A Billion Stars Will Die Today) and Adrian Von Ziegler (Ashes, Twisted, Heaven's Touch, One, My Everything, Ethello-iel and Even in Death) who are all incredibly talented composers in their own right that you should check out! (The songs can be found by by clicking on the song titles or via google. Also see below for "Grey Days" if on Tumblr)

Anyway, I don't think y'all need me warning you that spoilers are present when it's already pretty apparent. Without further ado, here's the poem. Don't forget to let me know what you think by leaving a leaving comment/review. (Links to everything below, sidebar and bio if on tumblr plus Fanfiction profile). Enjoy!

Disclaimer: As you all know by now Fairytail does not belong to me, but the most honourable Hiro-sensei instead, for whom without this labour of love wouldn't be possible.

Read More Here:

1. Grey Days

A. Tumblr Version

B. Fanfiction (Click Here:) (or here:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13112482/1/Grey-Days-Reupload-from-dragon-shield-maiden)

2.  The Rest  Of My Writing 

A.  Master Fic Rec Post(Click Here:) (or herehttps://millennial-star-gazer.tumblr.com/post/179665258923/master-fic-rec-post:) 

B.  Fanfiction  Profile (Click Here): (or here: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/11384058/)

More to follow.  Links can also be found in bio and  top blog parts (if on desktop)

"Grey and holy You said it was the first time Like the morphine You take it all away Pretend it's okay The grey days" (Chelsea Wolfe: Grey Days)

“A lifeless lover was the high mountains” Where we tried to reach the stars The moon, the ways beyond It was the purest love of all”

(Draconian: Pale Tortured Blue)

“If all else perished, 

and he remained, 

I should still continue to be;

 and if all else remained, 

and he were annihilated,

 the universe would turn to a mighty stranger

(Heathcliff: Wuthering Heights)

"Natsu!" The screams of his celestial maiden Oh how, they call to the dragon of fire through the darkness piercing the shadows of his subconscious Severing the ties that bind

His eyes open The Gods of Time themselves defied Damaria decimated in the blast Scorch and crimson stains through tattered remnants of fabric on skin All within the blink of an eye

Natsu's attempts to rouse the motionless angel in his arms fail when she does not stir Scarlet tears a ghastly sight No single heartbeat , nor breath of life he can hear Vital signs so pined for falls on deaf ears The perceived second loss of the brilliant star in his universe drives him over the edge enough to fully awaken the infernal power within

Flashes of the two's life together before the demon's very eyes River of tears flowing like cascading rain A grief-stricken kiss of on the zodiac wielder's forehead of farewell A piece of his soul here now dying right along with her Oh how the agony of her absence cuts right down to to the bone Soulmates , would-be lovers torn asunder The great divide all together just too much for the demon of black flames’ unholy, forlorn, heart to bear How could it not be when the iridescent light of a billion stars was blotted out from the midnight sky? Never to shine again

Oh, how the cursed fates are cruel

"Zeref, where is Zeref?" The name of the fire demon's accursed brother spilling from his lips over and like a non-nonsensical mantra as if he's a deranged mad man Onward the song of Igneel trudges Any with prying eyes from afar

may just see infernal darkness incarnate annihilate all

those who block his path fall at his feet in firey wake Driven by bloodthirsty instinct to obliterate the creator

Forward E.N.D marches on the hunt in search of his so-called dear brother Eye for an eye Tooth for tooth Raging thirst for the other's blood All in all vengeance apparent

The thought of meeting his inevitable demise just barely crosses the prince of hell's mind yet he cares not For without his the light of his father and  most dear  com he is lost, all days perpetually gray No tomorrow in sight Totality of his desolate existence an infinite void Devoid of meaning just the same

Reunited they all will at least be in the the golden fields of Avalon after his spirit departs

Just Lucy wait, Natsu tells himself in his arms she soon will be on the other side when he crosses the threshold Watching over those so precious together Instead of her buried along with his heart six feet underground Side by side at last Apart nevermore

A figure, there standing in the distance the son of Igneel finally catches a glimpse Is it the one he's been searching for? No, just the ice devil slayer himself Former brothers in arms , comrades in life Mortal foes now, team mates no longer Infernal hellfire and ice will clash A rift far too vast to mend Shattered remnants of a fraternal bond beyond repair All for naught Natsu's goal of sanguinary retribution clear Purging the world of the one who started it all Even it means cutting down almost any who stand in his way The loss of etherious's beloved really does drive the heart mad Delerium not overcome

Oh, but little does the demon know that his most

precious star lives

If only he could see how she still breathes Alive and well

Alas he does not

All is not lost

In the end, who alone will stop the volatile discord? Who alone will be brave enough to be up to the task? Oh, who alone will stop the clash?

Fic tag squad: @writer-appreciation  @nunnatheinsanegerbil @mautrino @rougescribe @goddesofimortality  @phoenix-before-the-flame  @nalufever  @petri808 @thecelestialchick  @nalu-natic

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! Just a few housekeeping notes in terms of clarification and reminders.

1. "Scarlet Tears" is one of the literary metaphors used in poem alluding to the blood stains under Lucy's eyes after Diarma attempted to scratch them out-unsuccessfully I might add (Thank God lol). The whole bit about regarding the stars being blotted out overall symbolizes Natsu's/E.N'D grief who feels that the world—or his world at least— has become that much less brighter without one of his best friend's light. Not to mention his existence ceasing to have meaning in the wake of so much loss—especially just one year after Igneel's death. Yes, he loves and cares for his other friends a great deal—especially Happy-, but losing them (with a few exceptions like said cat ) isn't quite the same as losing Lucy to death— at least not to the point as being as soulcrushing. I am by no means trying to downplay how much he values others in life—just offering my take since naturally the loss of someone is only futher magnified based on the nature of the relationship and how close you were which is no different for our favourite dragonslayer. In the end, Natsu/e.n.d ultimately would much rather be with Lucy and Igneel in the afterlife watching over their other friends in the afterlife than be without the former in the realm of the living—once he's had a chance to destroy Zeref with his bare hands (most likely using fire and whatever else he has at his disposal—Natsu I mean.) Just so you know ?.

2. To anyone who were following my other works on previous accounts , The Draconic Demon Within is a semi-au Nalu/Endlu fic in which it follows the original timeline of events from the manga and anime up until chapter 478 or so where Natsu saves Lucy from certain death by intercepting Jacob's attack just in the nick of time. After his brutal defeat is where the plot of TDDW deviates. In this fic, the original Team Natsu(Natsu, Lucy, Happy) soon gets word that the Tartaros has remerged with resurrected members and forged an alliance with the Alvarez empire they've (save a few such as Brandish)— all while overthrowing Zeref in the process now that they've gained total independence.

Natsu and Lucy are then lured to Tartaro's new base of operations (in part because said dragonslayer wasn't about to let his girl go barging in alone what with her being one of the people he's most protective of for obvious reasons and all) where they subsequently learn from Tempester that his (Natsu's) life is no longer tied to his brothers —which comes as a shock to you know who that it was mind you—; all this before an incantation is recited from a particular tome to fully awaken the demonic aspect of Natsu's identity from within now that the seal is broken. Pretty sure you guys know the rest for which the rest of the plot unfold as more chapters are posted. Just thought you guys should know in case anyone had any questions about the original timeline of the Fairytail series fits in with TDDW. I'll be sure to post this within the bottom A/N notes in the one chapters in the process of revison of said fic. Side note: I hope to start reposting while also uploading new chapters for both this fic, Tantric Flames and others in the works ASAP.

All right y'all, that's it for now. Be sure to let me you know what you think by leaving a review/comment and don't forget to give the rest of my writing a read once posted/. (Corresponding links above in this post, in sidebar and bio if on tumblr. Also on my Fanfiction profile)! Many thanks once again to all who've been supporting me thus far (including my friends/mutuals, followers and readers)! Until next time—take care!