#he also very much hates the whiskers

[sunfloweraro]

Oh the Chain very quickly learn to not get on Hyrule’s bad side… he’s a force to be reckoned with when he wants to be. And yeah snsksnsn the Chain elect not to comment on this (wisely). At least they know they’ll be safe in ambushes! So long as Hyrule isn’t concussed :)

Rulie very well might after that. Bunny might start to get annoyed at all the coddling, but poor Hyrule is just terrified if he lets him out of his sight, he’ll never see Bunny again :(

@sunfloweraro I...I made more art. I feel like I've struck a wellspring of motivation that will quickly run dry, but hell if I'm not about to make use of it!! XD

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Lucifer

For Him:

He loves it when you call him anything super cheesy. Add some heart and soul to it, and he is obsessed.

Call him cringy things like Stud Muffin, Sugar Bear, and Honey Pie. He is so into it.

He will 100% melt if you call him princess. His kryptonite is you two lounging in bed playing with his hair while you call him your sweet boy or princess.

His hard no's are anything super vulgar that borderline comes off as sexual.

He wants to keep your relationship sweet and adoring until you get to bed.

For You:

He immediately goes for Duck, Ducky, or Duckling. He just can't help it. You remind him of his second favorite thing.

If he gets out of his ducky phase, which, let's face it, he won't. He likes to use names like Doll, Buttercup, and Baby.

He loves to call you his Queen or King just because he wants you to know how serious he is about sharing everything with you.

He won't call you princess; he has reserved that for Charlie, and he would really hate for a 'pass the salt' moment between you and his kid.

He can't wait for the day he gets to call you mommy or daddy, though, in a nonsexual way.

Adam

For Him:

Adam LOVES when you call him God. As blasphemes as it is, it fuels his ego to the extreme.

He also likes the classic babe, baby, and honey. However, he wouldn't mind a private, memorable name.

He doesn't like to be overly gushy in public, so in private, you can get away with calling him something snuggly, like Teddy Bear or Honey Muffin.

A hard no for him is anything derogatory; as funny as it is, since he is the king of derogatory remarks, he doesn't know how to take the heat back.

He is a certified Lover Boy and will melt if you call him so, well, only if no one else is around.

For You:

Of course, we got the classic Adam phrases we all know and love Bitch, Baby Cakes, Sugar tits, and Baby.

However, he is unafraid to publicly call you things like his treasure, angel, or princess.

He will 100% call you a simp and Lover in the same sentence to throw you off guard.

He wont call you anything derogatory in the bed room though unless you ask for it, he feels like your alone time in the bed room is meant for him to worship you not hurt you.

He loves it when you let him call you his goddess and other high-paying names.

Vox

For Him:

He is an old timey classics guy, he is in love with Baby, Honey, and Sugar like no other.

When it is just you two alone he never wants to hear his legal government name leave your mouth

As for in public its a little odd because he does have a persona but also just look at you your his everything

He hates anything overly sweet it is very gross to him when you drop a BooBooBear or a Hunk-A-Lunk just say normal shit

He loves when you call him the light of your life though makes him feel like he is doing good by you

For You:

He wants to keep the old-timey feel for you, too, but he may get a little creative. It's casual, babe, baby, and honey, but he may add in a pumpkin cupcake or princess.

He has no problem using pet names for you 24/7, even in the public eye. He has to show who owns you, after all.

When you are alone, he will use just a simple babe to get your attention because he wants to be soft and mundane with you.

He won't call you any crazy names, either. He finds them distasteful, but if you asked, he may find it in his heart to cave in.

Thrives when you call him daddy as much as when you let him call you mommy.

Husk

For Him:

Certified Daddy Energy. Call him Daddy or Papi, and he melts like putty in your hands.

He also loves it when you call him other things, like baby or babe; those are classics that keep him going.

He doesn't mind the overly cringe-worthy nicknames that are long for no reason. Generally, the longer, the better because it eventually makes him laugh.

He refuses to be called anything relating to a cat, no whiskers, kitten, or kitty. He hears it from Al but wants to avoid hearing it from you.

If you call him something super sentimental, like the love of my life or my other half, he is a weak man.

For You:

He worships you and the ground you walk on because he believes you deserve so much better and will leave.

You are God, Goddess, Princess, Prince, King, Queen, or any high official title to make you feel good.

He loves hitting you with super sentimental pet names that show how much he cares about you.

He won't call you anything super mushy; it just isn't him. Though he likes how creative you get, he isn't much for it.

He loves calling you mommas or mommy when you two are out and about.

[blackberriebrambles]

More Hazbin animal headcanons with little to no explanation:

Husk:

cannot see glass

cannot see things close up very well but has excellent vision for things far away

will chase light reflections on the wall. Angel thinks this is hilarious. They don't speak of it.

hates when people stick things near his face bc whiskers (they're sensitive)

zoomies at 3 am

takes forever in the bathroom (both cats and birds spend a lot of time grooming themselves)

expressive tail and ears!

expressive feathers!

loves to be petted but would never admit it, esp on his head/back of his neck

can't taste sugar

scratches the furniture

Angel Dust:

Very good spatial awareness

good at knitting/weaving/other textile arts

very strong for his size

i don't actually know much about spiders. Venom, maybe?

can jump very high/far

Sir Pentious:

Uses his tongue to smell

cold blooded! loves to lounge in warm, sunny areas

sheds skin

looks like he's a cobra so venomous

can sense vibrations but also cannot hear very well

hates stairs

no eyelids

sleeps when it's cold

Alastor:

surprisingly stealthy

very good night vision

blinded by bright lights

secretly likes being around people

very good senses; hearing, smell, etc

flight/freeze response

expressive ears (loved seeing his ears move around on the show!)

+BONUS Valentino:

his eyes are shit and he eats his clothes

[lotusseedguy]

PLATONIC WHB! KINGS WITH A SIBLING READER w/ HYPERSOMNIA

I took inspo from OM Belphie for the reader, but made them not an asshole and cuddly. you/you're pronouns for reader, though reader has a dick in Leviathans. Reader is younger than the kings, a child/young teen( I have no clue how age works in Hell) probably shit grammar. Mammon's was short as balls, I'm sorry my fellow ass enjoyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SATAN

~~~~~~~

-Average older sibling experience.

-Satan nicknamed you whiskers to piss you off. That is only for your ears though. In public, he either calls you by your name, or calls you 'sleepy'. Thats it, that's the headcannon/j

-Satan loves messing with you while you sleep. stealing your pillows, taking your blankets, throwing you off of whatever surface your onn...

-Poured ice water on you once trying to piss you off. It failed. You got up, and went back to sleep on the warm part of the floor :(

-He let Sitiri give you black tea ONE TIME. Never again. You were bouncing off the walls for two hours, and then passed out for the rest of the day. Hence, you are banned from drinking black tea (He never said anything about coffee. DON'T LET HIM KNOW)

-One time, you two got into a big ass fight about something,(You were too sleepy to care or remember what it was) and so, you decide to go sleep with Sitiri. While the cuddles were very nice, Satan was much more than pissed when he found out. If looks could kill, the Milky Way wouldn't have bothered exploding, it would have just evaporated.

-You got banned from cuddling with Sitiri after that.

-After the angels started invading Gehenna, Satan wouldn't let you sleep outside. Only in your room, or his, preferably. that way he can make sure you're safe from harm And other demons trying to cuddle with you

-He's a big tease, but he doesn't let anyone else do that. Ppyong got thrown a few times because they kept waking you up, and Satan got mad because how dare someone else tease his little sibling Ppyong was being annoying.

-He loves you a shit ton, and actually hates it when you get really mad at him. Because then you ignore him and find someone else to cuddle with, and Satan HATES that. So, only teasing and friendly banter.

-I'll leave this here, but I feel like he's a big cuddler. He likes you close at night, so he knows your safe, within his arms, of course.

-He's also a fucking oven. With that much rage in that small body? That shit emanates warmth like the fucking sun, and his bath card says he can even heat bathwater with his rage. Good for cuddles, of course.

"Eh? You woke up. shocker. Go back to sleep, I'll be right here still..." `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEELZEBUB

(I don't know much about him, as I just got his Bloodshed card recently. I apologize if this makes no sense!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Beelzebub doesn't mind the fact you sleep pretty much all day, though he can get a bit worrying as he spends most of his time traveling -the one bad thing about it is that you fall asleep anywhere.

-One time, he found you asleep in a tree. A TREE. he was astonished, was that even comfortable???? You wanted to look at the stars, but you had fallen asleep while watching then sun go down. Once Beelzebub found that out, he just patted your head and told you to tell him next time.

-He likes to pick out your earrings. (It says in the downloading screen that The demons from the part Beelzubub rules over all have piercings, so I'm going off of that) He thinks mix-matching black and dark green studs look nice on you

-Having nearly died multiple times, Beelzebub finds himself keeping a close eye on you, just to make sure that you're safe.

-He finds comfort in being with you while you sleep. Whenever he wakes up, you always have your arms wrapped around him, and occasionally mumble out a sleepy complain about not wanting him to leave. It makes him smile, you wanting him to stay. So, of course he lies back down. A couple more minutes can't hurt.

-Similar to Satan, he's really warm. Not like an oven, though. He's more like that warm, comfortable feeling you get when you get in bed.

-Beelzebub's noticed that whenever he gets hurt, you always sleep with him for the next few days, or even weeks. It's like your way of showing worry, and he likes the cuddles.

-He dreams about sleeping in a bed next to a sunny window, while someone takes care of him. He knows it's never going to happen, but with you? He's more than willing to cuddle with you during the day, or anytime for that matter.

"Ah, Did I wake you up? No, I'm not going anywhere, so why don't we go back to sleep..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEVIATHAN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Solomon have mercy on you, you poor sleepy cat :(

-Leviathan can't find you? You must be off cuddling with someone other than him. How dare you choose some lowly, unimportant demon instead of your Overbearing and clingy Perfect Brother Leviathan >:0

-You have to be in sight pretty much all the time. You do get some self-sleepy time, but only when Leviathans really busy. And I mean REALLY busy. Hades needs to be falling apart and/or being invaded by angels for you to get that sweet, sweet self-sleepy time.

-You got mad at him, and went to sleep with someone else? Say bye-bye to your ability to leave his palace/house-thing, because that's GONE the millisecond Leviathan find out.

-The person you were sleeping with? Hung. You? With him, In his coffin, tied up so he can cuddle you to his hearts content. He doesn't care that he's being unreasonable. He loves you too much, and doesn't want another demon to take you away from him >:((

-Leviathan loves you, a bit too much. No other soul is allowed to cuddle with you, let alone breathe sleep near you, unless they wish to be hung.

-He likes it when your pillows and blankets are in his signature colors. That's all he lets you have. Black, silver, and purple. Maybe a few others, but those are the majority.

-Leviathan adores it when you take baths with him. He likes seeing you vulnerable because he knows he's the only person able to see you like that.

-He'd also make you wear a Chasity cage. He's the King of Envy, he can't just let you run amok Hades, alone unsafe! What if someone takes advantage of you being unsafe? The unsafe factor being your dick touching your underwear

. -When He gets a bit envious, for any reason regarding you, he makes you to cuddle with him, in his coffin. You're too sleepy to care, but Leviathan does. Too much

. -Watches you sleep. I'm not even joking. He'd stare at you, asleep in his bed, for about 5 minutes before going to cuddle you.

"The audacity for someone to even try to take you away from me... And now, you're here with me, cuddling with your amazing older brother. Isn't this so much better?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MAMMON (I gave up here, soory fellow Mammon Enjoyers) ~~~~

-You might just be luckiest demon in the world -Mammon loves you, and lets it be known. -Also a big cuddler, AND he gets you a shit ton of blankets and pillows. -After a long day of doing whatever he does, Mammon likes to lay down and cuddle with you. -When he says everything belongs to him, he means EVERYTHING. He's more than happy to get you anything you want, which is usually pillows, blankets, and quality time. -That sleepy little look you give him when he accidently woke you up while laying down with you? Melts his heart, really. -If you like stuffed animals, especially themed ones, He'll make sure you have an army of stuffed toys, just for you. -Mammon likes to hear you talk about anything, really. Your toys' names? He'll listen. That band you like? He's down for it. The entirety of the FNAF lore? Mammon's patting your head as you ramble. -He wants you to be as comfy as possible. -Mammon finds himself buying small things that remind him of you. A necklace that in your favorite color, a stuffie that fits the theme of your collection… Etc.

"Good morning. How was your rest? I'm sure it was nice, with me by your side."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This took TOO long to write-

[witchofhimring]

HotD ✨Cat edition✨

Note: I keep seeing cat editions of characters in different fandoms. I will be stealing that idea now.😗

You had been hired to work at a cat café for some extra cash. It sounded like a brilliant idea at first. Being surrounded with adorable little furballs and making money. Great!

No.

Because you were not prepared for the evil you would have to face.

Rhaenyra:

Cat species:

Persian Longhair

Description:

Slightly chubby. Long silver fur. Wide blue eyes with luxurious eyelashes. Has an enormous bushy hair used to swat Otto her enemies. Pink nose. A very pretty kitty.

Personality:

Absolute Princess Complex. She is the most important kitty in the world and you better know that. Feeding time? Her first. Hair not perfect? You better brush it. Many a time she has swatted cats and kittens out of her way. Anything to get that kibble. Her way to get your attention is jumping onto you lap and pawing at you.

She has a more friendly side. When you first met Rhaenyra she was stand offish, looking down at the peasants humans bellow. For weeks you would see her blue eyes looming out from the darkness. At about the three week mark Rhaenyra started to come up to you. A pet here. A pet there. And then she was suddenly all over you. She is actually a very cuddly kitty once she gets to know you. When you have a bad day she will come up and settle on you lap as comfort.

Alicent:

Cat species:

Mancoon

Description:

On the smaller end of the size scale. Brownish red fur that is slightly wavy. Huge brown eyes that look into your soul. Face constantly looks like she's sad.

Personality:

Very shy. It was about two months in when you first caught sight of her. Because she is shy Alicent spends most of her time in the boss's office. She is very peculiar about touching. You have to pet her a certain way or it is bye bye. Does not like to be picked up and it is very rare for her to sit on anyone's lap. Loves personal space. Her bed is hidden away and she shares with no one, except Aemond or Helaena.

Viserys:

Cat species:

Persian longhair

Description:

Skinny with long but thin strands of hair. Has a few bald spots. Has narrow watery blue eyes. His whiskers nearly droop to the floor. Owns a stain that drags behind him as he walks.

Personality:

Sleepy. Boy likes to have his beauty sleep. He's a bit shy but not as much as Alicent. Because of his health he stays in the back room. When you have breaks he will snuggle against you and sleep. Sometimes he's a bit grumpy from the medication. Viserys is a mostly good cat. Not too naughty and enjoys being pampered.

Demon Daemon:

Cat species:

a demon Persian longhair

Description:

Thin, lanky. Narrow blue eyes. Large front paws. Tail is slightly crooked and bobs as he walks. Shinny silver fur that he is very vain about.

Personality:

That cat is evil incarnate. He will look deep into your eyes and bat away a cup of tea right onto the floor. Somehow attracts a gaggle of admirers who thinks him destroying ornate pillows adorable. You know what is also adorable? When you have to fix said pillows.

If he's not destroying property then he plays the "catch me" games. Will rub non stop against you. But the second you bend down to touch him Daemon is gone. Then when you go back to your job he is back again, the crashing of a $40 mug announcing his arrival.

Otto:

Cat species:

Mancoon

Description:

Thin hairs that stick up, crooked whiskers. Has tiny brown eyes that constantly look like they are judging you (because he is). Very thin but large.

Personality:

Unsettling. Sometimes you questioned if he even was a cat. He slinks around the room and will not let anyone touch him. Spends most of his time on a perch glairing down at the servants little people bellow. Hates Rhaenyra for whatever reason.

Laena:

Cat species:

Devon Rex

Description:

Black kinky hair that is short. Small and light of her feet. Has big brown eyes and enormous ears.

Personality:

A very sweet girl. Very popular with the customers. Probably one of the few cats that doesn't start fights with the other cats. That being said she is very picky about food. Will stick her nose up at certain kibble if it is not up to her standards. Will not play with toys roughed up by other cats.

Laenor:

Cat species:

Devon Rex

Description:

Curly black hair, surprisingly long for a Devon Rex. Wide brown eyes and tiny whiskers.

Personality:

Pretty friendly. He sometimes likes to follow you around. Prefers adults and will usually go up to someone when they arrive. Doesn't cause any problems.

Corlys:

Cat species:

Devon Rex

Description:

Curly and surprisingly poufy hair. Straight whiskers that never seem to bend. Large paws with sharp claws (you once tried to trim his nails and people could hear his wails across the street). Brown eyes.

Personality:

Vert stern. He acts like the general of a military base. Marches up and down the entrance, eyeing everyone who comes in. Acts as a sort of peace keeper between Otto and Daemon. He does let people pet him but will not be picked up. He will only sit on your lap if you are a frequent customer or employee/boss.

Rhaenys:

Cat species:

Devon Rex

Description:

White curls adorn her body. Her ears are huge and her blue eyes have a water quality to them. Delicate features but do not let that fool you.

Personality:

You swear if she was a person Rhaenys would be one of those posh ladies that lived in your neighborhood. Prefers the company of ladies and will sit like a little person on a chair. Only likes to be pet on the head. When she thinks no one is looking Rhaenys bats around a little a little pink ball.

Harwin: (Dishonorable mention)

Cat species:

British Shorthair

Description:

A heavy set boi. Brown fur and deep brown eyes. A slightly squashed face. A small but surprisingly powerful tail.

Personality:

A sneaky bad boy that sneaks inside and is the cause of more work (aka the kittens he fathered). Is not one of your cats. Bad boy snuck in an got Rhaenyra pregnant. Kept sneaking in afterwards and boom, suddenly three new kittens. You later discovered that he had been living quite comfortable in Rhaenyra's hidey hole, only coming out when you were not looking. It was only when he decided to come out and steal a customers feather boa that you discovered Harwin, a stream of pink feathers in his wake.

[toastedjeans]

Siren Tower Maurice, Doise and Peddito!

The main cast is over here!

I just realized Doise's gloves should be more white but I'm too lazy to change that, just imagine they're white okay?

Some info about them down here

Maurice

Peppino's older brother and a piece of shit, who constantly belittles him and calls him a disappointment. His apartment has water damage or something similar, or maybe it got destroyed, so now he temporarily lives with Peppino until his flat is repaired. (Alternative: he didn't pay rent and got kicked out, continues not to pay rent to Peppino because "we're family, you can't charge your own brother.") He's either divorced or his girlfriend left him, is only allowed to see his son once a month. It's probably for the better.

Peppino is incredibly fed up with him but he tries to endure it, until he one day snaps and probably slaps him, they end up both kicking the shit out of each other (but Peppino is stronger because i said so).

Maurice invites himself to poker night and other activities Pep and the others do after work times, then complains that he's bored or something (M: "This sucks, why did you invite me?" P: "I didn't??"). He gets along a little with Mr. Stick, but only because they're both gamblers, he's somehow even more unlucky than Stick and keeps losing almost all his money. Doesn't get along with Hazel cause he doesn't take her seriously, thinks she's childish and stupid.

Doise

Goblin shark. He's basically Noise but blue. Noise hates him because he thinks Doise is imitating him, but they're just the same species of siren. He's a little more mellow and doesn't go feral as much or as easily as Noise. He throws rocks cause he doesn't know he's immune to sea urchin and puffer fish poison / venom. He can also go on land but needs water nearby.

He has heterochromia (one eye is blue, the other is purple-ish brown), and has the same "whiskers" as Noise, just turned down.

Absolutely terrified of Peddito, as he seems to always want to kill him, and has tried doing so a few times. Sometimes plays dead hoping that Peddito leaves him alone, it doesn't really work though.

Peddito

A failed clone of Peppino, made before Fakey. Pizzahead didn't like him as much because he didn't get the eyes right so he threw him out (basically the Other Eye problem, but he ended up leaving his eye sockets empty out of frustration). He can't see because of this, but he can still navigate through the water effortlessly. There's way less sea creature DNA in him, so he looks almost completely human just with a fin on his back and webbed hands. It's unclear where his vibrant coloring comes from.

He's strangely obsessed with Doise for some reason and doesn't interact with anyone cause he's just not interested in anyone else. He actually wants to be friends with Doise, but since Pizzahead designed him to be a killing machine, he doesn't know his own strength and ends up almost killing Doise several times. His "killer side" comes out every time he's near Doise, and he can sense his presence because of this.

When not near Doise, Peddito seems almost dead, he moves very little, and is unresponsive. He can't talk, neither human nor siren language, but he understands both. He doesn't swim, just floats through the water like a dead fish, despite this he's incredibly agile and fast. Would follow Doise on land, and could survive with pretty much no problems. He just slides across the floor when on land, as if he was on rails. The bottoms of his feet are always slippy, making it easier for him to move. Might leave a trail wherever he goes.

And here's your reward for reading, some doodles of various age and messiness

Also some shippy stuff hehe

[h-didanart]

I saw the confession blog ask, and I am kindly asking for the kitty moons

Oh yeah, that

Ahem, the creator of “Bloodmoon RETIRED?! In VRChat” (I forgot to make a fake thumbnail for that) brings you a new exciting episode! (Whose thumbnail I also forgot)

Bloodmoon TURNS INTO A CAT?! In VRChat

Expect to see this written out at some point in the future, there will be fluff, Solbro behavior, Sun getting a sliver of revenge on the twins because let’s be honest they aren’t the greatest people, more fluff, and maybe, just maybe, if the stars align and all the components come together, pet regression

And now imma ramble about their design ok��

They needed to have long hair, I can’t explain why, they just had to. So I looked up long haired fluffy cats, there were Ragdolls and Persians and Maine Coons but the one I went with was Turkish Angora. They are athletic, they are agile, have long hair, and despite being known for their white coats come in various different coat colors.

Bloodmoon specifically has a mostly black coat with bits of red over their face and legs and tail, with a white snout and belly. Their hair is matted on some places and their whiskers are bent oddly. They struggle a bit to walk and hate the feeling of the tangles. Overall these translations indicate the twins aren’t really in good shape. Oh yeah, they have prosthetics too, the repairs had to be translated somehow, so they’re a double amputee cat. And I’m thinking of making their left eye a prosthetic as well or just not having them have it. Do cats get glass eyes? I don’t think they do… Either way, Harvest likes these legs way more than what they have in their actual body.

In regards of cat behavior, they are very much a feral cat, untrusting of people, defensive, the like.

They exclusively only meow at Solar and let him pet them and carry them and stuff because, y’know, trust. Granted they do spend some time during their transformation mad at him because they think he caused this somehow— which he actually didn’t —but end up kinda just accepting it and rolling with it.

Speaking of their time spent, let’s talk about how this plays out!

So Bloodmoon’s in the Daycare helping Solar do stuff, they take a detour through the ball pit to avoid passing through the area separating the play structures, then boom, portal malfunction, they’re a cat now. Solar immediately runs to see if they’re ok, and ends up almost dying of laughter at seeing them like a cat, they struggle to get out of the ball pit and Solar picks them up, still laughing.

Due to the laughter the twins believe Solar to have caused this but unfortunately can’t ask or communicate that thought at the moment, they cannot speak as a cat. They grumpily lay on Sol’s arms as he carries them to the front desk. Solar tries to figure out how long they’ll stay like that, having gone through this with the whole family already, all the while Bloodmoon tries to get adjusted to their new body, kinda freaking out upon realizing they had leg prosthetics but quickly getting used to them, the fact Harvest doesn’t feel like shit when looking at the legs definitely helping that.

After a bit Solar turns to the twins and tells them that apparently they’ll stay like that for a few hours, at which point Bloodmoon realizes that Solar probably didn’t play a prank on them, they hop off the desk and start circling Solar, wanting to go do something, before being abruptly cut off by Sun entering the Daycare and accidentally hitting them with the door.

Sun immediately starts apologizing to the cute little kitty and trying to soothe them, the twins start hissing and backing away the second they regain their bearings. Solar picks them up, quickly explaining that the cute little kitty was actually Bloodmoon. Sun grimaces at that before tilting his head and finding amusement in their predicament. The twins hiss at him.

Despite not getting along at all Sun does start to fuzz over Bloodmoon, seeing their matted hair and bent whiskers, and offers to help Solar care for them. Solar looks down at the twins who give him a ‘for the love of god do not leave us alone with this guy’ look, and asks if maybe Sun could just tell him what to do.

Cue Sun helping Solar brush the twin’s hair, getting them some cat food, and taking a bunch of blackmail material pictures. By the time Sun leaves he finds he actually kinda enjoyed being around Bloodmoon. To quote him directly: “I see how you got attached to them now”

And then Bloodmoon would hang around Solar in the Theatre, watching as he restocked the shelves and greeted people and the like. By the end of Solar’s shift, the twins are curled up on his lap getting pet as they start falling asleep.

And it is then that they turn back to normal.

Solar is startled by the sudden shift but overall glad that the twins were back to how they were. He nudges them awake, trying to tell them that they were normal again. They kinda just sleepily look up at him before nuzzling against his chest and curling up once more. They’re still purring. Sol tries to shake them awake again but is once again startled, only now by a small meow from the smaller bot. And so he sits there for who knows how long

Turns out Bloody and Harvest like being cats.

Who would’ve thunk it?

[adonisdoesstuff]

SPOOKY MONTH DATING HEADCANONS

AN: Some characters are gonna be OOC but i tried to work with what i had, also sorry if it was cringe. The reader is gender neutral.

┆Bob Velseb

• Would stare at you with his creepy smile 90% of his time.

• Would always want to cook for you, it's better you watch out for human meat in his burgers.

• Will tell you facts about wholesome human body related facts. . . they slowly grow darker.

• Sleepy? Ask him to use his belly as a bed and he would 100% agree to it.

• He's obsessed with you, which in the start seem to be just him protecting you but don't mistake that, he will kill a lot of people for you.

• He is very touchy, careful, he bites. . . a lot. He also likes to hold you closer to him, to the point where you could suffocate in his chest. • Will try to taste your body but will be careful to not hurt or "ruin" it. He considers you the perfect thing that exists. • He will do whatever you ask (expect breaking up with him.) • His kisses are more instense. . . because he NEEDS to feel you. • He likes to tease you, a lot, it is his way of flirting. • Would give you food related nicknames. • Movie night, expect that to be animated movie, like it or not, this will be his choice. • Bob loves you very much, you can't stress this guy, believe me. It's not because he would get really mad, it is because he can't be stressed at you.

┆Streber & Kevin

• They would always worry about you, expect them to call you like 4-5 times in the day • They love to go out in the weekends with you, like watch a movie, eat ice cream or that photos together in public. • Kevin always talk about how he hates two specific children ruin the CandyClub in halloween. • Streber would talk about vampire related facts to you, get used to it. • Halloween night is Streber's cup of tea. • Streber would ask you to help him with the decorations and it depends on you to agree. • Kevin and Streber are very clingy towards each other but don't get to feel left out here, they will be very clingy with you too. • Streber likes the idea of role-playing as a vampire in real life, it is silly but you and Kevin let him do the playing. • When Kevin is very tired after work, he will hug you from behind only to "regain" his energy. • Kevin likes to give sweet and loving kisses while Streber tends to be more "expressive" with his kisses. • Kevin is a scaredy-cat when it comes about you getting sick, Streber is no different but Kevin makes sure that you feel better right there. • Kevin is not very talkative, so he tries to express himself by physical touch. • Streber is very talkative, he likes to talk a lot, sometimes it can be a little bit exhausting. • They love you very much and they will do their best to make you feel part of the relationship.

┆Rick Hedony

• He didn't talk much when you two went to your first date, but he tried his best to get to know you. • Rick is very depressed, you get really worried about him most of the time but he makes sure that he's okay. • Rick likes drinking and will invite you to drink with him. • You two quickly start meaningful conversations when you two are alone. • He calls you to make sure you're okay. "Hello?" You ask. "Just wanted to see if you're still alive." He says. "Yep, how about you?" You ask again. "I think so." He says. "Good to know." You say. • He used to quit his job easily but since you came into his life, he felt a bit more motivated to stay. • When he comes from work he walks towards you, only to give you a hug, sometimes he falls asleep on you, which is cute. • He lets you hold his face, he just stares at you with the same tired eyes. When you play with his "whiskers" he will let a small side smile, still with his tired eyes. • He falls asleep on you, he's very warm. • He likes to hug you a lot, get used to it. • The kisses are slow but affectionate, he just wants to keep you. • He also likes to hear you about your day has been. • He likes to brag about you everytime he gets the chance, how "lucky" he was to have you in his life. • Rick loves you very much, it may not seem like It because of his emotionless personality but he means it when he says you're very important to him. He's doing his best to make you feel loved.

┆Frank

• Frank likes to act cool and tough and that actually works. • Would give you free Ice cream, don't worry, those are not infected, he wouldn't do that to you. • Frank likes to hold your face with his big hands. • Oh yeah, his hands, they're big and cold but still comforting somehow, you can't help but hold them. • Frank is careful when comes to his size, he tries to not hurt you when you two are making out. • About the making you, you guys do it a lot, he is even going to stop his shifts when you want it. "Hey! can i get a Ice cream?!" A kid asks from outside. "WE'RE CLOSED!" Frank shouts angrly before going back to making out with you. • He asks about what type of kiss you would like to try and he's good at every single one of them. • You spend most of the time in his van. • Frank lets you use his sweater, he likes your smell on it. • Movie nights are always in the theater, he makes sure you both get the biggest popcorn bucket. • Frank is willing to throw hands with somebody if they raised their voice to you, you have to make sure a fight isn't worth it. • Frank also flirts a lot with you, he uses his huge size to his advantage and you totally fall for it. • He likes it when you shave his beard in the morning. • Frank also loves you very much, he can be emotionally distant sometimes but he does his best to make you sure that he loves you, even if he doesn't directly says it.

[danyayeni2]

Fancy a Date, Dollface ?

Flirty!Jealous! Tybalt (modern/1996) x gn! Reader

(Divider made by @/cafekitsune on here ! Check ‘em out ! :D) (A/N: Just as the title says, this is a slightly Flirty!Tybalt x Gen neu! Slightly “Nerdy”! Reader ! Also, a tiny little background information for this, Mercutio is your best friend, nothing more, nothing less! Of course, Ty knows this, and still hates it !) Key Terms (yeah yeah very wattpad of me bring your pitchforks): Y/N-Your Name Y/N-N: Your Nick-Name

B/F/N- Best Friend’s Name

(Also, this was made for @ladyinbl00d ! I really hope you enjoy this one especially !)

(Anyways, without further adeu, please enjoy !)

“Hey, let’s go shopping !”, they said. “It’ll be fun !”, they said. And, could you really deny them? Deny him? The party-animal? The fast talker? The cousin of the Chief of Police? Your best friend?

  How could you deny the sparkle in his eyes? (Although, now that you mention it, did he really have a spark? Or, was it his eyeshadow?) Or, his nearly high-pitched, pleading, and slightly convincing, beg of a simple, yet exaggerated, “pleeeaaaaaaaaseeeeee”, as he got on his knees, and wrapped his arms around your waist? Or, his promise to get you that new movie you oh-so desperately wanted to see? The Night’s Opened View, starring Angelo Manovincine and Catelynn Ashins, solving a murder in their high-school party? Drugs scurried around the place, sugar coated toxins covered the tongues of the most bitter booze imaginable, and hands covering cold faces, and cold cases alike. No, it was an offer you couldn’t refuse. Besides, you needed a release from your dreary, and unfortunately comfy, apartment room, so what’s the harm?

“(Y/N), come on!” His pace quickened and the intertwined grip between his smooth, well-kept hands, and your hands, “I saw some really cute shoes for you!” “Mer, trust me, I really don’t need MORE shoes!”

He paused, turned around to look at you up and down, furrowed one eyebrow, and shot you a look with an “mmhm” following. “Mer, my shoes aren’t that bad!” “….” “I JUST GOT THESE SHOES YESTERDAY.” “Creased and deceased?” “Oh, shut up.” A goofy grin followed his face, before running off into another store, yelling, “I’LL GET YOU SOME SHOES IN HERE!” “WAIT, MER-“ And he was gone like the wind..like always. 

“Why does he always do this?”, you asked yourself, out-loud, in fact. “I don’t see why he wouldn’t, seeing you talk to yourself would make anyone run off.” Oh, God. It’s him again. His slightly raspy voice, his sarcasm, his…eyes. Those Dark brown eyes. Those dark, slightly lidded, brown eyes. 

It was him, it was always him.

“I’d be thankful that a pretty face like yours goes a long way.” You see him look you up and down, and give his signature toothy grin. You sigh, “What do you want, Tybalt?” He smirked a little, and simply tilted his head, “Awww, don’t wanna see me?” He leaned in close to you, much to your feigned annoyance. “Not here, and especially not up close. Not to say I can’t see your whiskers from afar, though.” The corner of your lips turned into a smile, and you could hear the ticking of a bomb, slowly going off. Tick, tick, tick, tick. And you couldn’t wait until it exploded. 

“You just love that little cat metaphor, don’t you?” “What? It’s funny”, you lowered your voice, hoping Tybalt wouldn’t hear, “and cute.” “Cute? That’s what you wanna call this?” An idea popped in your head, and you brought him closer by a little tie on his somewhat formal black adorned attire, “Maybe it is, what’s it to you?” Your fingers slithered up his tie, as you slowly undid it, and he hummed in response, looking into your eyes. “To me, it’s unfair.” You stopped tying his tie, his words catching your attention. “Unfair how ?” “Unfair because we all know who has eyes that you can stare into for days.” He smirked more, seeing you continue to play with his tie. “And from the looks of it, I can, with how alone you are.” “Actually”, you pull him in closer, your mouth to his ear, “I’m with someone.” The venom poisoned his tone, as he looked away, feeling a tinge of jealousy course through his veins. “Oh..? And, who’s the one…?” Please be a friend, please be a friend, please be a friend-

“Mercutio.” 

Oh God, it’s even worse.

  Not only is their “friend”, but it’s that flirtatious bastard. Great. You bent back, and yanked on the tie a little, just before patting on it. And, he would’ve given you a reaction, had he not been consumed with the thought of him joking with you, smiling at you, all things he can do for you. “So that’s who left you today, right ?” You groan a little, and nodded, which gave him a little more satisfaction.

“You know, I can treat you better, doll.” “Oh, please, and just what are you gonna do? give me some flowers and wow me?” “C’mon dollface, give me some credit. You and me? We’re in sync.” “Oh, yeah? What am I thinking right now?” He paused, looking away from you, reaching behind his back, and pulling out two tickets. “If I were to guess, I’d say you’d want to see…..oh, I forgot what it’s called….’The Night’s Opened View’?” “Tease.” You thought, yet still visibly excited, and quite shocked. You hardly mentioned this movie, except to Mercutio a few hundred times, but to no one else ! So, how did he- “When we went to the store, I saw you looking at the poster for three hours. Almost like how you look at me. Almost.” Bet he wouldn’t do that for you. You paused, then felt hot. “So, it’s a yes, or do I have to convince you ?” “What are you gonna do, kitty?” “What I have to.” He brings your hands up to his lips, and gives them a peck, all while looking at you..it feels way hotter in here than before. “Of course, you won’t break my heart, right, doll ?” “..What if I did?” “…You wouldn't do that, doll.” He gets closer, his lips hovering over yours, hand on your chin, “You know you want me. You, and those pretty porcelain lips of yours.” “I want to make you explode." He chuckles, "I'll cherish you too, dollface."

You playfully scoffed, but deep down, you knew it was true. You knew that your heart was his. You knew that no matter how much you wanted to push him away, tease him, maybe even judge him, you always loved him. “Fine, I’ll go see it with you, but you’re paying for everything.” “Not a problem, you know I like spoiling you. All you gotta do is ask, doll.” He holds your hand, his thumb massaging your knuckles, “Oh, and don’t bring him along. I just want it to be us, alone.” “Him?”, you paused, “Who’s him- Wait- What’s wrong with Mercutio ?” “.....” “..Fine, I’ll come at 5.” He smiled, then immediately heard Mer’s laugh, and the corners of his lips went south. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” “Maaaaaaaybe.” He chuckled, “Don’t toy with me like that, doll.” and walked off. “(Y/N-N) !” Mercutio’s voice trilled in the air as he skipped towards you. “I found these shoes, and they’re SO cute ! Aaaaand, it’ll be perfect for our movie night tonight !” He hugged you, but you felt both hot and cold. Chilly and warm. Conflicted. “Oh, Mer, I’m gonna be busy tonight ! I need to see (B/F/N) for their ‘newest art invention’.” You applied air quotes, trying to hide the fact that you’re lying to Mer, and acting as if your “(B/F/N)” wasn’t the man you’ve been smitten for since God knows how long. “Oh….aw man….” He lowered his head, but you quickly cupped his face, “Come on, after I help (B/F/N), we’ll watch a whole marathon of movies ! You’re pick this time too !” He quickly smiled, and kissed the palm of your hand. “Alright, alright, I forgive you.” “Good, now,” you tap his shoulder, and run off, “LAST ONE TO LEAVE’S GONNA HAVE TO SHAVE PRINCE’S MUSTACHE TOMORROW NIGHT !” “HEY, I DID IT LAST TIME !” He quickly sprints after you, cackling, while Tybalt watches.

“...Come on, Doll, make a better choice than him.” His eyes shut, as the question that plagues him infects him yet again: “…What does he have that I don’t ?”

(A/N: Whew, it’s been a while since I’ve made a one-shot, and even longer of it being an x reader ! I do hope that I made Tybalt seem flirtatious in your eyes (and in-character too) ! I also hope that it isn’t too bad or incomprehensible, and that you all have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening/ night ! :D)

[ingydar-phan]

Happy birthday Dan. I found you at a very, very low point in my life. It’s funny, because that point was only a few months ago. March 3rd. March 3rd. Jesus Christ. I was dealing with severe bullying, depression, hopelessness, isolation, gender dysphoria (i have been out/socially transitioned for like 5 years), and most of all, loneliness. I had a circle of about 3 friends who i talked to regularly, but only 1 i even saw in person more than once per year. Then, two of those 3 people began having relationship issues and were on the verge of breaking up. I felt like i was a bother, a burden to their already existing issues. Every single day I’d walk into school, put my headphones on, and not talk to a single person. I’d read, sleep, listen to music, dissociate, and sleep some more throughout the day just to distract myself from everything. From class, from parents, from the outside, everything. I fully and truly believed everyone besides those 3 people hated me. They found me disgusting, annoying, taking up space, and simply didn’t want me there. I think that is true to an extent, but i don’t like how i was just letting that be how it is. My dad was genuinely hopeless, he told me to just ride it out and if i could try to be just a little bit normal-er, maybe i wouldn’t be ignored by every person every day. That didn’t work. Instead, i decided to do some self work. Or rather, my dad stopped intruding on my free time which allowed me to still be awake and do things i wanted to do in peace. I thought, “Dan and Phil….those two emo guys with the cat whiskers….i have such a vague memory of a friend mentioning them or scrolling across a post of them, who even are they?”. I typed into the YouTube search bar “Dan and Phil”. A gaming channel? Are these people streamers? Oh god (i did not know you were one of us 🏳️‍🌈….or british…..). I watched one video. Now, ACCORDING TO YOUTUBE HISTORY, i somehow watched What Dan And Phil Text Each Other 4 as my first video. Not even the gaming channel, i don’t know how this happened maybe YouTube is lying to me. Whatever. Ok so which ones Dan and which ones Phil? Why do they look SO different? They’re British? I started watching Dan and Phil edits on TikTok. Ok, i know who you are, i get the vibes. Oh, coming out timeline? Gaming channel timeline and hiatus? Reacting to PINOF? On March 13, i watched Basically I’m Gay and Coming Out To You. It took me an entire month from then to watch Why I Quit YouTube. By late April, i was in it. I was watching Dan or Phil every day. Before, during, and/or after school. Since then, I’ve purchased YWGTTN (limited edition signed updated paperback). It was 38 fucking dollars in USD but it was worth it. I also now own TATINOF and DAPGO, one of which is signed by Phil, i bought second hand. So yes, now this is my new thing. But you know what else? I was getting happier. I was going to more concerts. I was doing my schoolwork, or at least trying to. I was reading!!!! I’ve since finished The Secret History. I made a friend; reconnected with an old childhood friend and started eating lunch together and hanging out and having shared trauma dump sessions, and we are so so close now. My two friends broke up, but it’s ok. I’m best friends with one of them and he’s so much better off, and the other and i are still casual friends!! I value them both for the multiple years I’ve known them. I’ve taken family vacations and done religious holidays with genuine care while getting to reconnect with my family. I’ve very passionately finished acting in a musical that I’ve put so much care into for about 5 months. I’m graduating tomorrow!!! And me and my close friend will be going to a concert tomorrow night afterwards, and I’m going to have a great summer where i see my close friend who i haven’t seen IRL since March of 2023. I’m getting closer with my dad and seeing a new therapist. I am having medical problems as of right now, but i would 100% be lying in bed crying and skipping graduation had i not found a reason to enjoy my days.

Did i just take one sentence referencing Dan to write a whole autobiography on tumblr? Yes, but also no. Dan and Phil are real people. They really do rescue pigeons named Steve and getting 10 sauces for their pizza and say hi across the city with binoculars. But they also genuinely have an impact on people, and they see that, and they LIKE to see that. I don’t think Dan will see this post. But I’m making it anyway. For me.

I love Dan so much. I cried twice while watching We’re All Doomed in my kitchen. I have actively watched Dan and Phil videos while crying at school. Once, in my bedroom, i was having a panic attack. I had an overwhelming rush of thoughts around 10 or 11 at night about how worthless i am and how terrible everything was going. I opened my tiktok, and there was THE edit that saved me. It was a video of fetus Dan on YouNow talking about his dream home. And then it was cutting back and forth to the Phouse. Then, Dans hopeful monologue in Basically I’m Gay. Finally, Dans hopeful monologue in We’re All Doomed. All of this in a softly shaky screen with sad music behind it. I cried a lot. This aspect of my life means so much to me. I think about the Halloween 2023 baking video at least 5 times a day (and sister Daniel’s….uhm….legs…). I am still so mad i did not buy the satanic Craft shirts. I just rewatched Dans interview last year with Anthony Padilla just because of how goddamn much I’m obsessed with that angle of Dan with his cute chin and cheeks and fucking dimple. I think about Dans bluntness in his defined-self and truly feel inspired to be like him. I look at his change over the years, his comfortability in his body, seeing that his face and neck are shaped like my face and neck, and he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in my weight if not for Dan Howell, and i mean that so insanely sincerely. I read Dans book whenever I’m feeling hopeless and need a soft sexy British man to tell me the scientific reasoning behind why i feel this way and to assure me he’s felt worse. I’m so serious when i say i cannot imagine a day of my life without Dan and Phil. I truly don’t understand how i lived before or how I’d expect to live without it. “Live”, in the sense of find a way of life, not as in “stay alive.” I can’t imagine a day without those big brown boba eyes and that cute dimple and mainly that calming voice that reminds me someone else has felt this way. That reminds me love is possible. That reminds me i have so much ahead of me, so much life and love and joy.

Phil’s birthday stream may be my favorite piece of Dan and Phil media, or at least one of them. I find it so comforting and wholesome and beautiful and hilarious. I have such high hopes for Dans birthday stream. Until then, I’ll be working on my long-awaited (still very very unfinished) 2009!Dan and Phil art piece within my art initiative (pinned on my profile) (just for funsies, no money or anything involved). I’m going to sit there at 3pm (my time) and watch with a huge smile on my face to see my amazing dads spend the time of their lives being sexy and old and happy and disgustingly homosexual while i just embrace all you’ve done for me.

Happy birthday Dan

@danielhowell

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Charles/ the cat king and your 22nd song please

Song 22: Six Days in June by The Fratellis Look. This is FIRST wrapped song fic request I got, anon. And it was such a GOOD song, and I wrote the first section, and the first section was so good I got scared the rest of the fic wouldn't live up to it. I know this is a short and weird rarepair hatesex to non-hate sex unrequited love song-inspired one shot but it's also lowkey my magnum opus. So THANK YOU. Don't worry too much about the background, this is set very loosely in canon-verse, in some prospective alternate reality season 2/3 where Edwin is having his hot boy summer and discovering himself and Charles is trying to figure out his own feelings in probably a not super well thought out way. CW for mild but non-explicit sexual content/themes. 2.5k, unrequited love, background endgame Payneland, angst. Enjoy 💛 Also on Ao3

“You think you're all that, yeah?”

“Oh, sweetheart, I know I am. You want my references? Or did you want me to prove it some other way?”

You're playing a dangerous game, batting at that loaded pistol in his ribs. You don't know him well (yet, yet), but you know a man who loves with his whole chest when you see one. It's in the knuckles; bloody from holding on.

His jaw tics. “Go on, then.” He squares up. “Show us what you've got.”

Your smile cuts. “Alright.” You brace for impact. “Let’s dance.”

The first time, is… well. Let's just say it isn't your finest work. Finesse is not what this guy's coming to you for, after all. He's here to prove a point. Prove to you — or himself — that you're full of shit. That you're all talk. That you don't deserve to touch his little BFF with a ten foot pole (or a ten inch di— y’know what? No. Too easy).

And it may not be your best, but by god, you do not give him the satisfaction of being right on that count.

Weeeellllll, he's inexperienced. You can blow his mind with, what? Forty percent effort? Sixty, tops.

He's just the cutest shade of pink when he leaves, shrugging angrily back into his little retro jacket, all ruffled and indignant.

“Satisfied with my credentials, yet, officer?” you drawl.

His ear tips are dark, his collar jerked up around his blushing throat as he stalks away. “Shut up.”

Your laughter follows him out of the cannery, echoing off the high warehouse walls. “Call me!”

It's a joke, obviously. This was a fun little tumble, a chance to knock Mr. Righteous Protector down a peg and have some pretty passable sex in the process. Nothing more or less than that.

Except obviously the joke sailed right over his head, because he turns up like a bad penny a few days later with some more poor judgment to spend on you.

Fortunately for him, you’re not short on that, either.

“So has my score improved, or…?”

He huffs, hunting around for his left loafer where it skittered under the bed. “Piss off, cat. Was just… checking.”

“Checking, riiiiight. Y’know, if you need a second opinion, you could always invite Ed—”

The right loafer flies through the air and kicks you in the face.

“See you next time, then.”

“Not gonna be a next time.”

“Mm-hmm…”

“...Zip it, Whiskers.”

“Charming as ever. Won’t you come on in.”

Since three times is a pattern, that’s about when you stop doubting he’ll show up again, and again, and again. And that you’ll let him in every damn time; or at least when you’ve got nothing better to do.

Terrible idea, honestly. You give it a week.

You never see him for more than an hour or so.

You never see him in any mood besides pissed the fuck off.

And above all, you never see what the hell it is Edwin sees. The boy with the easy smile, the loyal knight in shining loafers. The best friend, the right hand man, the big, soppy puppy heart that a nice boy like Edwin couldn't help but fall for. No, no you don't get that.

You just get what's left over. The claws he never hones because he’d sooner sink them into his own stomach than leave his mark on anyone else. The parts he's too ashamed to show to anyone he gives a damn about; a category you most assuredly do not fall into. But hey, that's fine. A person like you can't be too careful about who you start fucking.

You can't go around screwing anyone who's nice to you — god only knows what ideas you'll come away with!

(That's not to say he isn't nice, of course.)

(Unfortunately he is, despite his best efforts. God, it can never be just a hatefuck with some people — it has to be worried eyes, trembling hands, little gruff check-ins on your wellbeing when you're trying to get fucking railed.)

(You try and focus on it for the boner-killer it is; and not for the sweet, unconscious thoughtfulness of a guy who holds the heart of the man you love precisely because he couldn’t handle it roughly if he tried. No, no, you shove that thought as far away as you can push it.)

(Dangerous thought to entertain, for a guy like you; a guy with his heart on a hair trigger.)

He shows up when he likes; or when he needs. When his skin is too tight and he needs an outlet for that electricity in his ectoplasm. He kisses you like it’s a contest; and you're nothing if not competitive.

He’s not running the show, though. Nuh-uh. You only kiss him back when you like. Or when you need.

The fact you haven’t turned him down once yet is purely coincidental.

He's got you on your back — and you've got him on your hips. Pretty standard. You’ve done this dance enough to have a few favourite positions locked in; and this one gives you a hell of a view.

He’s looking pretty comfy up there — eyes closed, head thrown back, riding it out — and you like to keep him on his toes, so you give him a little shake, bucking like a bronco, laughing at his surprised face when he falls forward, when he catches himself on your chest and stares down at you with wide eyes and that little annoyed scrunch forming in his brow.

Then the line smooths, he squints, laughs — smiles. At point blank fucking range.

You take the hit. Right between the eyes.

You never stood a chance.

You’ll look back on that as the day he snuck his hand through your ribs and clicked the safety off.

He shows up when he likes. When he needs. Sometimes, increasingly, when he’s bored.

“How can you be bored again?” you grouse, fingers attacking his belt. “Don’t you have like a cute mystery-solving husband to bother?”

He scowls. He’s been doing that less and less lately — you’d forgotten how out of place it looks on his lips. “He’s not my… Edwin’s out,” he says, flatly.

“Out where?”

Oof, now that’s a chilly little silence. And a very, very loud one.

“Let me guess,” you drawl, dragging his zipper down tooth by tooth. “You’re not the only one gettin’ some tonight.”

He grabs your face and kisses you, hard.

More reliable than telling you to shut your big mouth.

“See you next time.”

It’s an old familiar exchange, an automatic call-and-response. You wait, palm metaphorically outstretched for the return, the denial, the brush-off.

He slips through the mirror without giving it to you.

You laugh. “Brat.”

Always leave ‘em wanting more.

He kisses words out of your mouth. He crashes into you like a wrecking ball. He throws it all down like a gauntlet, the fucking, the being fucked. He grasps and grinds, scratches and squeezes, lets those little claws out of their casings.

And those big brown eyes find your face every goddamn time. Like he’s watching you, like he sees you; like somewhere along this stupid, fucked-up little journey, he started caring. Caring what you like, caring what makes you snarl and scream, caring about how deep he can sink his claws before the blood wells.

(No, it can never be just a hatefuck with some people.)

(God fucking dammit.)

You’ve got him on his back, this time; and he’s got you on his fucking nerves, right where you like to be.

“Look, leave off, yeah?” he snaps.

“You sure?” You roll your body, feeling the electric tickle of those ghostly hands where they press into the dip of your spine, pinning you close. “Kinda getting mixed signals.”

“Y’know what I mean,” he grumbles, jaw twitching, avoiding your eyes.

You sigh, and fold your arms on his chest. Relaxed, non-confrontational. Idle hands, idle motions. Like you’re just sunning yourself and not, y’know, in flagrante delicto, as Edwin might charmingly put it.

Ah, there he is, again.

Damn ghosts. Always lurking in the corner.

“Look, I am not here to be your therapist,” you drawl, waving your spoon in a lackadaisical manner. “I’m just saying, from experience, little friendly advice: dick isn’t gonna solve all your problems. Not even my dick.”

He sits there, shirtless, cross-armed and endearingly grumpy (god, when did he start hanging around, instead of dipping before the sweat can cool?), his nose wrinkled up at your can of tuna. You roll your eyes.

“You can’t even smell,” you snidely remind him.

“Still mingin’. Wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eatin’ crisps, but this…” He shakes his head — and catches up to what you were saying. “And I don’t need your friendly advice.”

There was a very brusque, British-y compliment in there, somewhere, and you pause to pick it up and admire it. You’re a bit of a collector.

“Coulda fooled me.” You suck the spoon into your mouth, with relish, enjoying the way he grimaces and squirms as you withdraw it with a slow, exuberant pop. “Mm. Now, that’s the good stuff.”

“Does this have a point, or what?”

“The point, you little pest, is that I know what I want, and I go for it.” The compass of your spoon wavers, rocks. “And what I want is, oh, nothing extravagant. Good food. Good sleep. Good sex. Maybe someone around to help handle that last one, someone, oh, I don’t know… someone tall. Handsome. Cute smile, cute accent. Pulse optional.”

You let the ever-present spectre of Edwin Payne fill in the shape you paint; while the spoon settles on the true north right between Charles shitting-goddamn-fucking Rowland’s eyes.

He scoffs; mulishly, adorably oblivious. “You decided you loved him in, what, a week?”

You snatch the spoon back upright, and flick it like a tennis racquet. “And how long’d it take you?”

He shuts his mouth after that.

Maybe, one of these goddamn centuries, you’ll learn how to shut yours.

It ebbs and flows, the shape of your arrangement.

In the wake of that conversation it gets a little spiky for a while, just like the good old days; baring teeth and raising welts.

Then you get back to yourselves, a bit — the new versions that actually, against all the odds, have fun together. The Charles that laughs with you, who scrunches his entire face into uncontrollable giggles when you tickle his skinny little waist with your claws. The Charles who asks if you’re alright when he’s bending you in half, and sticks around for lazy kisses and a little light bickering in the afterglow; who turns up staring at his feet when he’s about to ask you for something he doesn’t think he ought to want. The version that’s so easy to love, it’s all too easy to see why Edwin does.

And then it gets… quiet.

Too quiet.

“C’mon,” he says, with a little hiccup — guy can not hold his enchanted liquor. “Let’s — let’s play something. That’s what you’re s’posed to do, yeah?”

You laugh, swiping the bottle. It’s pricy stuff. Wasted on this kid, really. “Uh, yeah, if you’re twelve.”

“C’mon — missed out on uni, didn’t I? Mm, let’s play… what’s the one… the two truths one. Two truths and a lie, yeah?”

“Jesus Christ.”

“You first. Go on, pusscat!”

You hum, hoarding his silly little pet name for your collection as you make a show of inspecting the bottle. “Alright… two truths. I took a vacation in the eighties and spent it as one of Freddie Mercury’s cats,” you count off on your fingers, that’s one. “Esther Finch owes me two hundred and seventy dollars, eighty-six cents, and my virginity,” that’s two. “Annnnnd…”

Your third finger hesitates, half-extended; your thumb teasing the loosening corner of the wine label. You affect the sarcastic tone like a warding spell.

“And this is the most rare, most expensive wine I got; I brought it out to keep you here longer because I’ve been missing you sooooo much.”

He snorts, and buys what you’re selling. “Yeah, right. Mate, you know you’re not s’posed to make it obvious which one the lie is, yeah?”

You’re probably not supposed to play when you’re a being who can’t fucking lie, either.

But hey, there’s always a workaround.

He shows up less. He fucks you less. You masterfully pretend you don’t give a shit either way.

He shows up once or twice a month and loiters, and chatters. He makes jokes and menaces your cats with penlights and tries to be so annoying that you won’t notice the cogs turning in that pretty little head. Maybe, if there’s enough frustration in the air, one of you’s lucky enough to get their dick sucked.

He hangs around, and you bite your tongue against the urge to tell him to pull. The fucking. Trigger.

(You could pull the trigger. You know you could. In fact, you probably should; call time on this grubby little charade and put both of you out of your misery.)

(But you’re a selfish old creature. Greedy, grasping. And you always want what you can’t have.)

(And you can’t have him. You never could.)

“See you next time.”

He pauses. Glances back.

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Next time.”

He leaves.

You pour yourself a stiff drink.

“Well,” you say to the empty room. “It was fun while it lasted.”

Thanks, mate. For everything. Think I’ve figured it out.

Take care of yourself, yeah?

-C

Of course you send a couple spies. Just to check it out.

What? You never claimed not to be a nosy bitch.

They return with drooping whiskers, pitying voices that raise your hackles. They return with news of your ‘boys’ smiling, laughing. Holding hands.

They don’t describe the kiss in detail. Why would they? You wonder who initiated. Wonder if Edwin leaned in, all neat and prim and knowing like that time he kissed your cheek. Wonder if Charles did that thing he does sometimes where he bends and sways in like a too-tall tree in a breeze.

You shouldn’t ask.

You ask anyway.

Curiosity killed the fucking cat.

You punch a wall that night. You get mad at yourself.

You realise it’s something he would do. You get even madder.

You fall asleep with blood on your open knuckles and it doesn’t do jack shit to distract from the smoking crater in your chest. You didn’t think it would.

If there’s one bright side to all this — and honestly, you’ll take what you can get — it’s that you did, technically beat out your initial expectations.

You lasted longer than a week.

If you take it all together, anyway, all the time in-between, snatch every last hour, stack ‘em up. If you count the ‘off-season’. If you let the days you spent apart exist as days where he implicitly wanted you enough to string you along, to keep you as an option.

Count those days, and you made it half a year. A Christmas fucking miracle.

If you take out the empty days, well. Then you lasted barely six of them.

[fizziepopangel]

Husk Headcanons (Cat Tendencies Edition)

Husk makes biscuits in his sleep or when he’s falling asleep. And yes, Angel does have countless videos of the hell cat doing this when he’s too exhausted to notice the man pointing the camera at him.

He can move as stealthily as any other cat and often uses this fact to sneak up on Angel and scare the hell out of him most of the time. He did this to Charlie once, but ended up making her cry when he scared her. He felt like the biggest asshole in the entirety of hell and he offered to wear a bell after that incident for no other reason than to make sure Charlie would always hear him coming. Although Charlie declined his offer, Husk does try to make some kind of sound to let Charlie when he’s coming so he doesn’t accidentally scare her.

Despite disliking his cat attributes, Husk is actually very well groomed most of the time. He takes regular showers and baths because the hot water helps with the joint pain he suffers, he also uses a lot of deshedding conditioner to combat the ungodly amount of shedding he does, and detangle his fur. On top of that, he also grooms the way most cats do to the extent he can, but he finds it embarrassing so it only happens in the comfort and privacy of his own room when he’s sure the door is locked.

On the subject of grooming, it’s a known fact that the man who practices sleight of hand also has extremely good grooming practices for his paws. Angel can attest to the fact that the low maintenance appearance of the man is in fact not as low maintenance as it may seem since he’s seen Husk’s vast collection of self care products that range from creams for the pads of his paws to special nail filing board to keep his claws at a manageable length.

He does chase the red dot. Angel keeps a laser pointer on hand just to bust out the red dot at random moments for his own entertainment. Husk has tried everything to resist the urge, but the chase for the red dot continues. It pisses him off to no end.

The reason Husk let his hair grow out so shaggy despite his former well-groomed appearance is because his contract with Alastor meant he lost the souls he owned, including the soul he basically staffed as a groomer for himself. Niffty offered to cut his hair for him once, but despite his comment about only needing the hair on his head trimmed, he somehow ended up with the whiskers on the left side of his face cut nearly in half. It didn’t bother him at first, but he quickly learned the importance of whiskers to a cat. After that incident, he has opted to just let his hair grow as it is and he still shudders whenever he sees Niffty with scissors.

Purring. So much purring. 

In terms of vocalizations, Husk also growls, hisses, and meows. Most of these sounds are involuntary… The hissing and growling doesn’t bug him too much, but the meowing and purring he occasionally feels self conscious and embarrassed about.

Husk is guilty of allogrooming. This mainly happens with Angel Dust when the two are having more domestic moments in their relationship so sometimes the spider demon finds himself being groomed while they cuddle.... Husk also really enjoys being groomed, especially when he's not feeling well since it makes him feel loved.

Similarly, Husk sometimes absentmindedly grooms himself when he zones out, to even licks at his paws as a way to self soothe when he’s overly stressed. Alastor hates the habit, but Charlie, Angel, and Sir Pentious find it pretty cute.

Husk actually suffers from arthritis throughout his spine, which actually affects his tail too which can drastically affect his mobility and his balance.

When he first sold his soul to Alastor, there was a bit of a power struggle issue before Husk was able to fall in line where the radio demon wanted him, Alastor would often walk him on his chain as if it were a leash, referring to Husk only as his pet. To make this more demeaning, Alastor even went as far as to buy him scratching posts and cat toys….. As much as he hated it being a show for the man, Husk did end up keeping the cat toys he enjoyed playing with in his room in a box under his bed, and he does have a scratching post in his room as well. He would never let Alastor know that though.

Like most cats, the bartending demon is lactose intolerant…. violently lactose intolerant.

Alastor has a cat muzzle for the drunkard because, while Husk isn’t normally a mean drunk, he has threatened to bite the radio demon multiple times, and on one occasion, the boozed up cat actually did it. Alastor still has the scar from the incident and keeps the muzzle on hand just in case now.

He does occasionally have the cat urge to just knock things off tables and counters. He has broken multiple mugs and glasses and such. He tries to control it but sometimes he just can’t so he spends a lot of time sweeping up broken glass. Vaggie has an order in for some nice reusable plastic cups and mugs for the bar.She knows it probably won’t stop Husk from knocking over cups, but she figured it would at least be safer since they’d be less likely to break.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Okay, so I've been surfing tumblr and seeing all these headcanons and various other little things about the Sullies as children and it got my brain going so thanks a lot to every last person who has aided in giving me Avatar brainrot. Anyways, I've built this whole thing up in my head that goes from the time Neytiri & Ronal get pregnant to who the fuck knows, so starting with the eldest lets begin (just the Sullys as babies, if you enjoy putting your own thoughts in this one then I'll get to Ronal and Tonowari's kids and more lol).

Neteyam

He was a total and complete accident 100%

Jake and Neytiri were a very quick-burn romantically and got married a little over a year after they officially began dating, they were only married for like 12 seconds when surprise! Positive pregnancy test, babe.

Jake spends a good thirty minutes fully committed to the idea that Neytiri is just fucking with him. She is not.

He spends another thirty minutes wrapping his head around the fact that he's going to be a dad.

He wants so badly to talk to Tommy about it but god damnit he can't.

He's for sure the more cautious one during the pregnancy, of that I have no doubt. Neytiri will want to do some random shit like go horseback riding with Tsu'tey (this man will always live on in my heart okay let me be happy) and Jake will practically faint at the thought alone.

Eventually Neytiri will start pretending to want to do #risky shit solely for the amusement Jake's reactions bring her with zero intentions of actually following through. Nobody is sure if Jake ever ended up catching on or not.

I'm 100% convinced that Neytiri would be into all of the traditional pregnancy milestones/events and fucking live for each and every one of them regardless of Jake's thoughts because it's their baby, Jake, and don't you want to see if a necklace will actually predict the gender of him/her? (It very much did not, Neteyam wound up being a boy. Stupid necklace.)

Grandma Mo'at is your trademark superstitious/nature-inclined grandparent and I have zero doubts that Neytiri has inherited some of that. I feel like it would flare up during her first pregnancy but only, like, low-key. Do with this information what you will.

Jake has no idea what to do or buy or anything but boy does he try. (When he fails he fails hard but when he gets it right he gets it right *that cute little dinosaur mobile is just so adorable!*)

Neteyam is by far Neytiri's easiest pregnancy. She doesn't really get any morning sickness and feels pretty fine in general throughout the whole thing.

She does wind up craving a ton of different fruits though (blueberries and honeydew melon mainly, but also strawberries, watermelon, blackberries, and pretty much any other melon under the sun. Oh, there was also that one time she refused to eat anything but pomegranates for like one solid afternoon).

Neteyam is a summer baby and nobody can convince me otherwise. August, to be exact.

I imagine that, while her pregnancy was breezy, Neteyam's actual birth sucked ass.

Jake almost passes out but luckily war prepared him for the horrors he witnessed in that delivery room.

Neteyam was actually pretty quiet after his birth. Once they got him all wrapped up he was chill.

Jake was the first one to hold him since Neytiri was exhausted beyond understanding, but Jake sat really close to her and she pretty much demanded to hold their son after like 5 minutes and the nurses were all like: ma'am, you're about to pass out???

As long as one of six songs is playing everything is chill: Edith Whisker's Home, Stephan Sanchez's See the Light, Sea Wolf's The Violet Hour, The Family Crest's She Knows My Name, Mills' Born N' Raised, or Black Match's Nowhere. If one of these songs is playing, Neteyam is an angel. The moment the music stops, though? I'd hate to be anyone within a ten mile radius because that baby's got pipes.

I feel like Neteyam is actually a big daddy's boy during this time period. He's all giggly and happy around everyone, but it becomes clear around three months in that dad is indeed the favorite. And it makes sense. Jake is who he's around the majority of his day (I'm fully committed to stay-at-home dad Jake Sully). Neytiri likes to tease him, saying if she was at home more it would be no contest. Secretly, though, she's happy he's bonding so much with their baby. He needs some light in his life.

Jake is completely restless inside but at the same time has no idea what he can and cannot do with a baby (plus there's the whole "music needs to be playing" thing) so he resorts to long car rides regularly with Neteyam's coveted songs playing on repeat.

Neteyam isn't a picky eater per se, but he is very particular---oh who the fuck am I kidding this kid refuses to eat anything but banana baby food voluntarily good luck with that Jake. Eventually Jake manages to weasel in plum baby food too (sticking to the fruit theme I see) but that is it. (I just picture this man in tears trying to get Neteyam to try some peas or a chocolate bar or "something, Neteyam, anything".)

Spider

Spider enters the scene a little before Kiri is born, I like to think. He's already around a year and a half when he's plopped into Norm's lap as a temporary placement while they scramble to find him a more permanent home.

It starts out with Jake agreeing to watch the little guy while Norm does science-y stuff, but quickly Jake finds himself getting attached. Spider is just such a sweet, lively baby who's curious about everything around him, especially Neteyam.

Like seriously, baby Spider is full-on fascinated with his siblings, starting of course with Neteyam. Whenever he sees the boy, he'll squeal excitedly and make hand gestures as if to say "bring him closer!" and it's just the most adorable thing Jake has ever seen.

Wherever Neteyam is set down, Spider will make his way to him no matter what is in the way. He can't walk on his own completely yet, but he is very good at walking by holding on to furniture and other such things. As long has he can pull himself up, this dude is getting places.

Jake learns very quickly to either 1) watch Spider like a hawk at all times or 2) but Neteyam close by and let his charming baby work his magic in getting Spider's full attention.

Spider isn't picky (something that relieves Jake greatly) and will eat pretty much whatever Jake hands him, though Jake quickly learns that yogurt is his favorite.

Spider has a strange fascination with fairy lights, too. He gets a kick out of when they change color and it provides hours of entertainment as long as Neteyam is near as well, allowing Jake to get various things done with little concern. Spider especially likes it when the lights turn red and he always turns to babble nonsense at Jake when they do, most notably being "no no no!" but in, like, a happy way? Jake isn't sure if Spider understands the true meaning of the word yet, which actually concerns him for a little until Spider makes it very clear one day that he is not fond of baths with many no no no's.

Eventually Neytiri can't help but become fond of Spider as well. It starts when Norm needs someone to watch him on a Sunday but Jake can't because Sunday is the day he and Neytiri decided would be his break day, a time away from the kids and house to just relax, so he's at the beach. She reluctantly agrees to take Spider as a favor to Norm, seeing how desperate the man is and also not wanting to interrupt Jake's relaxing day out.

It doesn't get off to a great start. Spider seems perplexed when he realizes that Jake isn't at the house due to the fact that at this point he's been spending Monday through Friday with Jake and Neteyam (along with some Saturdays), and this is followed swiftly by agitation. He isn't a loud crier like Neteyam, but he might just be worse anyways because Jesus does that kid squirm. He spends the first hour whining and squirming and pushing at Neytiri as if to try and get her to put him down. Neteyam calms him considerably, but he's still fussy and babbling "no!" over and over again, along with the occasional break in pattern to sprinkle in some variety.

Neytiri cracks and texts Jake asking what to do, and when Jake asks if she's tried the fairy lights she realizes she hasn't and gives it a try. Spider's whining ceases instantly, replaced by giggles.

After that it's easier, and Neytiri puts on Cars and makes sure that they're both situated safely before going to the kitchen to grab a smoothie and then comes to sit on the couch. When a little hand comes to rest on her knee she looks down and sees Spider looking up at her curiously.

He then proceeds to reach out and ask "eat?" and how did Neytiri not notice how cute he is with his sunshine curls and cornflower eyes and chubby little cheeks and okay maybe she's beginning to understand why her husband is fond of this child.

(She lets Spider try the smoothie, btw.)

The day Norm has to take Spider to his more permanent foster placement, Jake and Neytiri come with and Jake has like a whole list of dos and don'ts and has brought all of the things Spider likes and is all like "and remember, he's super easy to give a bath to so long as you sing him the tiny turtle song while you put him in the tub. Oh, also he loves yogurt but especially the key-lime pie yogurt. And lemon, too! You know what, he likes citrus in general. Don't forget that his favorite color is red! I packed a pair of red pjs in there, they're his favorite, we got them for him when we went to the mall that one time. Also, so long as you feed him a good time before you put him to bed he should go down just fine, just make sure you don't---" and Neytiri's all like "ma Jake I think they get it," only then she begins her own lecture on how he likes it if you put ice in his apple juice and to never give him chocolate because it makes him hyper and don't bother with baby gates because that shit doesn't work and soon enough they realize that, hey, this might be our baby now.

Kiri

She's born a little before Lo'ak. Definitely a spring baby.

The quietest baby you will ever fucking know. When she was born she was so quiet that the doctors were genuinely worried for a moment that she'd been stillborn.

Spider loves her immediately, to absolutely nobody's surprise. A good portion of Kiri's early days are spent being babbled to by Spider endlessly.

Unlike Neteyam, Kiri is a total mama's girl and gets all grumpy when Neytiri leaves the room unless she's sleeping when Neytiri leaves, then for some reason it's all good like? Jake will never understand. Eventually, however, this becomes a Mo'at thing. Very quickly Mo'at and her become one another's favorites and Mo'at will often find the most absurd reason to come see her.

Neytiri sings to her and takes her out to the backyard to lay on the grass and I swear this baby loves grass more than she loves the warmth of her own home.

Kiri loves carrot and pea baby food, much to Jake's surprise. Sure, Spider isn't a picky eater, but the kid was by no means a lover of vegetables. He'd eat them, but never pick them. And Neteyam? Hell, getting that baby to eat something more than plums and bananas was something he considered a win. So a child who actively eats veggies? Fucking finally.

Very interested in all of the plants around their house. Nothing else to be said. She just sort of looks at them in that weird way that only babies can look at something.

She has this purple blanket that Neytiri made for her herself and she will. not. sleep without it. Ever. She won't cry or anything like that if she doesn't have it, but you best bet that she will not be doing much of anything else either.

Whenever she has it she's asleep like 90% of the time. Jake's kind of confused actually because neither Neteyam nor Spider slept as much as she does.

Over all, Kiri is probably the chillest of the Sullys as a baby. Not very demanding, not very easy to upset, and doesn't make things difficult most days.

Lo'ak

Neytiri's hardest pregnancy for sure. She was puking, sick, huge, and could hardly keep anything down at all. The only two things Neytiri managed to keep down throughout her whole pregnancy without puking it up at least once was orange juice (extra pulpy) and Domino's barbeque pizza, and you best bet that got old quick.

Thankfully, the birth went smoothly. He was for sure born in early, early summer---like the time when it's still cooler and sort of rainy but also sunny at the same time.

I don't want to go so far as to say that Lo'ak was a demon-baby, but this child definitely gave Jake a run for his money. One minute he likes something and wants it, the next minute how dare you even so much as think about trying to feed that poison to him. One minute he loves being held, the next minute he's screaming and tears are falling and he hates you. With Jake he was like this all of the time. With Neytiri he was better, but still fussy.

I'm convinced that him and Neteyam were, like, so close when they were little and the only person that Lo'ak was an absolute angel to was in fact little one-year-old Neteyam. Whenever Neteyam was around he would smile and giggle and try to get closer. I swear, even as a baby Neteyam's charm was unparalleled.

Lo'ak has this binky that he had with him almost 24/7. Without it he was even more. . . er, challenging, than usual. And teething hit him hard as well. The amount of teething toys and biscuits this poor family had to go through, I swear.

Lo'ak, unlike the others, did not take to solids very well at first. The struggle to get this child to eat something, anything, that wasn't breast milk was so real you don't even know. Jake just let Neytiri take care of this one, it was clear he wasn't going to get anywhere. How she managed to get him to eat, Jake will never know (it was cinnamon applesauce, she coerced him with cinnamon applesauce).

Lo'ak had this particularly fun phase where he liked pulling on pretty much anything within reach and this led to him almost getting himself killed multiple times.

Whenever Neteyam cried, Lo'ak cried. Whenever Neteyam laughed, Lo'ak laughed. Sometimes when he was particularly exhausted Jake would do his best to get Neteyam in a good mood because if Neteyam was in a good mood, so was Lo'ak.

Despite how difficult Lo'ak could be,  there were these times when he would just cry and cry until Jake picked him up, and then he would just fall asleep while Jake held him. As much as Jake hated to admit it, it felt nice to walk around the house with a sleeping Lo'ak tucked to his chest.

Neytiri would often cook with Lo'ak strapped to her. He was her "little taste-tester".

I'm sorry this got so long my brain knows no bounds I swear I go so overboard sometimes 😭 Tuk isn't in this one because in my head I'm going chronologically btw.

I don't even think there is anything to add, anon. Just know I am crying?? Thank you so much for this genuine gift you have given me.

I LOVEEEE stay at home wheelchair dad Jake Sully he means the entire world to me. Jake being convinced Neytiri was joking about being pregnant??? Obsessed. WANTING TO TALK TO TOMMY?? Dead. FOSTER DAD NORM?? You can't convince me Jake and Norm didn't become friends through the foster system they were both in okay okay. And Norm and Tommy connected over their science shit and Jake was always trying to keep them from getting bullied too hard lol. Norm is a foster parent because he believes in fixing the system through it, Jake is more disillusioned. He was all skeptical of the idea at first, but boy did he get attached to Spider quickly. Neytiri and Jake's Spider speech kills me I'll die real tears. They're like oh shit actually... you can't have him. And the days before they can petition the court about it? So sad. Neteyam is a mess without his buddy. Kiri's vibes are simply flawless, and I love Mo'at making shit up to be there lol. DEMON BABY LO'AK, iconic, please. He tries to die so often. They have to baby proof the baby proofing on the house.

Please anon, this made my week, definitely send more.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Would you tell us more about your pets someday mayhaps? 🥺👉👈 I love reading your stories about Rascal (precious puppy), but did I understand right that you have More pets?? ❤️

Awww this is so sweet anon. I'd love to tell you about my little jerk babies! <3 Doing this in age order! :3

Rascal- a 16 year old black english cocker spaniel. aliases: Razzy, Mr. Baby, bear, pookie, Sir (when he's in trouble) - came from a flea market 16 years ago. best $150 anyone ever spent -he's very sweet, my soul dog, love of my life. but also he is evil to me sometimes, as is his nature. - he's deaf and can't see well but his nose works! he could sniff out a hot dog (his fave snack) from across town. :') - he also has a sixth sense for when the fridge opens? i don't know how he knows. - sleeps next to me most of the time TwT - does NOT like to be held but is so holdable - has a docked tail so he has a little bear butt - is currently laying on the wheels/ legs of my desk chair so i can't escape. he does this constantly T-T - sometimes displays symptoms of dementia where he doesn't want to eat/ acts confused. :( and that makes me very sad. - has a heart condition and a problem with retaining fluid so he's on two different diuretics. - basically he has every illness but i love him so much. even when he accidentally bites me. i would kill for him and i am not joking. <3

Charles- an 8 year old tabby cat aliases: Charlie, auntie's girl (i'm her auntie), asshole - found her in the garage, her mom took her brother but left her :( - is trans! - we thought she was a girl and gave her a Grown Man's Name to piss my dad off but then she turned out to have a penis. we use she/her for her. - wicked princess from hell. <3 - dumb - has freakishly long whiskers? - sometimes doesn't look like herself. jess and i joke that she's a shapeshifter and forgets what she looks like so she gets it wrong :o - lets me hold her like a baby but then gets mad about it. :/ - doesn't like wet food but likes the gravy of it? - YOWLER

Thomas- a 7 year old calico cat aliases: Tiny, aunty's girl (i'm her aunty), jerk - found her in the weeds outside my house! she was screaming like a banshee. her mom also left her! :((( - FAT!!! she weighs 14lb and we don't know why! her pouch is LORGE - constantly being bad to get attention. :/ - scratches jess's desk chair, rips up curtains, tries to eat any and all string (yarn, my HAIR, shoelaces, etc.) - chases the (50lb) dog around, but lets charlie beat her up? (charles is only 11ish pounds) - looks like a lil alien sometimes - annoying baby! - will climb onto your lap and demand pets as soon as you're trying to do something (jess constantly falls victim to this, rip jess</3) - youngest child energy :/ (jess is the cats' mom so... it tracks)

Daisy May- a ??? year old tan pit bull mix aliases: brownie, brown sugar, wifey (she thinks that her and jess are married), brown susan, (i got confused), beth (??) - was our neighbor's dog but they abandoned her! >:( then she was ours. - escaped containment one day and came back preggers >:( - had 8 puppies and hated all of them but one. - very sweet, wants to live in jess's lap - heavy! - likes being danced at, loves to WAG, will jump on you to give kisses - criminal mastermind. maybe.

Buford- a 5 year old black and tan pit bull mix aliases: Boofy, stinky, skunk, dickhead, BEEF SUPREME, beefy - the one puppy brownie liked. - NEVER SHUTS UP - brain the size of a pea. a small pea. - is afraid of Thomas but not afraid of Charles - velcro dog. cannot pee without her. - constantly chewing on her feet??? nasty! - has very soft ears <3 - HEAVIEST! - makes me wanna die a lot T-T - will steal food from old men (rascal) with no remorse

anyway!!! that's all my stupid babies i love you for asking about them anon. if any of them were photogenic i would share pictures but alas...

[weregreatatcrime]

Fuck it In making Splinters have rat issues

Rise!Splinter is blind. Legally, awfully, rat-vision blind. He is permanently squinting because he can at BEST see swashes of color. His clear vision range is about a foot. This is why the color names, he couldn't tell them apart at ALL from a distance until he had something bright and eye catching attached. His ears, whiskers, and tail make up for a lot of issues vision that bad causes, but he still has to sit like a foot in front of the TV with giant fuckoff glasses that don't really do much. He can't use the glasses unless he's sitting still because they're so magnified he Will trip or throw up. There's no prescription strong enough for rat eyes

2012!Splinter has issues with his teeth and lungs. He had a lot of trouble in the early years not knowing how to care for his teeth properly and trying to ignore the rat instincts to brux/chew. His teeth got nasty overgrown and painful for a bit and trimming them back is such an unholy awful sensory HELL that he decides to just be a rat and avoid the trimming. He chews on things all the time and allows himself to brux (angry rat chewing, where they grind their teeth, it means they're either Very happy or Very upset) because anything is better than having to take dog nail clippers to your TEETH. Dignity be damned, he will find chunks of applewood or pear wood or ANY possible substitute to chew on before having to trim his teeth. He also has had several health scares where his lungs got very sick. Domestic rats' lungs are their kryptonite, and he was not expecting the close quarters with him and four infants in a cramped nest to cause him to basically get URIs every other month. (I refuse to believe he was a wild rat. Those pretty markings are PEAK domesticated rat marks) Mans had to come up with an herbal remedy to breathe in or he'd just be constantly Suffering wheezey coughing hell. His vision is Also probably a bit worse

2003!Splinter has the least issues just because he was a rat First, so he's used to rat things. But he likely has a lot of issues with his coat and his joints. Can't groom properly anymore, because he's still very flexible but not nearly as much as he used to be, and some rats can go into shock if you surprise them with too much water. (I say most, as my patchwork rat and double rex would find the nearest stream of water and quite literally take a shower with it) He hates water and how heavy it makes his fur, but having kids means frequent bathing.... his poor fur likely has had issues with mold because he struggles to dry it all the way through. He has a lot of joint issues as he's kept a lot of the shape of rat limbs but the posture of humans and that's Not Great, plus he was old to begin with and his old man joints got Permanently Old Man-d. Also definitely got BETTER vision with his mutation, which he appreciates, but he was hardly a Normal Rat beforehand bcz I refuse to accept "showmakers knew nothing about rats" as an excuse for their weirdness in 2k3

[haven-of-dusk]

More Caswen Headcanons because I have too many of these to fit in my mindbrain:

This one's long. A few years after their wedding, Ricky is selected as one of the Greene Foundation's Global Ambassadors for the Universal Language Project, or in other words, he gets to travel the world a bit to help encourage musical education globally. EJ doesn't have to come with him...but he does want to, so he quits his job (cordially, they understand it's not like he hates it there) and learns as much as he can about the variants of sign language in the areas they'll be traveling to so he can interpret for Ricky. Ricky also attempts to learn some, but really only succeeds in remembering 'Sorry' 'Please' and 'I love you'.

Building on that last one, EJ's favourite location they live for a period is Sweden, while Ricky's favourite is a tie between Wales and Italy. As a result of that, once they finish Ricky's time as an Ambassador, they settle in Copenhagen and EJ lands a job at the University of Copenhagen while he works on a second Masters degree there.

They adopt a Bernese Mountain Dog name Lykke and a Husky named Kota (because I couldn't resist).

One of EJ's nicknames for Ricky is 'Mr. Whiskers' for twofold reasons, because whenever EJ plays with Ricky's hair he leans into it like a cat, and also because of EJ enjoying the time Ricky attempted to grow facial hair.

They both cry at emotional movie moments. Frequently.

Ricky: Golden Retriever Boyfriend, EJ: Black Cat Mask hiding another Golden Retriever Boyfriend

EJ watches anime because he's fascinated by the art form, Ricky watches with him because he enjoys the stories, the colors, and any excuse to cuddle with his husband.

EJ drinks coffee in the morning, Ricky does not, but since he's up earlier anyway, EJ makes it a habit to visit one of a few local cafés every couple days and pick up a different pastry each time for Ricky's sweet tooth.

Speaking of which, Ricky loves couple costumes for Halloween, which EJ's willing to go along with out of love.

Ricky always knows when EJ is getting too stressed about work and will come up (much like a cat or dog) and demand attention until EJ relents and takes a break.

EJ is very much a New Years person, and thus Ricky has a bunch of contacts lined up for restaurant/event dates around that time.

Ricky found out how much he loves traveling while they were moving around for the Ambassador thing, so EJ always arranges a 2+ week vacation in the summer to at least one location they haven't been yet. Sometimes with at least one of the other Wildcats joining them.