#he also doesn’t mind that sam has learned to read
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velvet4510 · 8 months ago
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live-laugh-legolas · 5 months ago
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Hello!! Could you do headcanons of the fellowship + Faramir and what art they like/do as a hobby? Like painting, music, knit, and so on. Thank you!!
I was working on this but it got pushed to the back as I try to prioritize asks so this is perfect!
Hobbies of the fellowship (+Faramir)
Aragorn:
-Whittling
-He has a lot of downtime during his time as a ranger
-And he is surrounded by sticks and stuff and was probably already fiddling with a knife
-He often doesn’t take the little animals he makes with him so he either gives them to kids in a village he is near, or just leaves them around for someone to find
-I can also imagine him keeping a guitar with him so he can play around a fire at night during his travels
-A very humble player but also not shy about playing or singing if asked
Legolas:
-Anything physical really
-Climbing, swimming, gymnastics, etc
-He just needs to be moving
-He also has a habit of taking in orphaned or injured animals to nurse them back to health
-Would just have a squirrel in his pocket like Bob Ross
-His father has had to tell him multiple times that bunnies are not allowed on the dinner table
Gimli:
-He plays the flute
-Don’t ask how I know because no one will ever see him playing
-But he does
-He also enjoys jewelry making
-He’s a dwarf who appreciates a pretty piece of metal work or a perfectly shiny jewel
-I have an uncle who will sharpen knives at family gatherings because he doesn’t really want to talk to anyone (and I can’t blame him) but he also loves glitter and stuff, and that’s loosely how I picture Gimli
Boromir:
-I love that you mentioned knitting because that is exactly what I picture this man doing
-He’s not particularly good, but also not bad
-Mostly just makes scarves to relax
-Faramir has so many scarves and hats
-He definitely donates the extras that aren’t given to his brother
-Side note, he cannot crochet despite trying to
Frodo:
-Learning languages
-We know he has learned elvish to an extent and I think that this is a passion of his
-Loves to teach his friends “swears” that are actually compliments
-He also likes making origami
-Nothing too extravagant, just little cranes and stars maybe
-But he makes so many he doesn’t know what to do with them
-He will hide little cranes all around the shire for other hobbits to find
Sam:
-I mean this one is obvious…
-He loves gardening!
-He feels so accomplished when he gets to watch his plants grow, and eat fresh food from the ground
-Potatoes
-I also think he would secretly enjoy writing poetry
-I’m pretty sure Bilbo taught him how to read and write and he makes sure to put it to use so he doesn’t forget how
-He may not be Shakespeare but it is always sweet and from the heart
Merry:
-Riding
-He loves to take his pony around the shire
-He also likes experimenting with cooking and drink making
-It’s not always good, in fact it often isn’t, but it’s the process to him that matters
-If he were in modern days he would love the movie Ratatouille
Pippin:
-He is a very musical hobbit
-When he’s not stuffing his face he’s playing instruments and singing at the Green Dragon
-I also think he would really love making pottery
-The feel of molding the clay on the wheel really quiets his mind which frankly he really needs from time to time
Gandalf:
-Ok hear me out
-Ik this isn’t technically really a hobby but he likes napping
-He wants to find the most peaceful spot and just close his eyes for a little
-He’s a man who is always on the move so being able to take time to relax is always important to him
-(One of my favorite things to do is take a nap on the couch with my cats and I’m insistent that this is a hobby lol)
*Bonus Faramir:
-I think he likes to draw
-He doesn’t really paint, but he likes to sketch with charcoal and pencils
-He carries around a little sketchbook so he can just sit somewhere and draw
-Boromir loves to see his brothers art because he is so proud of his little brother
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stardew-shitposterino · 1 year ago
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Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they’d react if you told them you’ve never dated anyone before
Headcanons about our baby girls :3 “Never dated” also refers to no romantic experience whatsoever. The Farmer is gender neutral, for Harvey’s it could be read as afab but I leave that up to your imagination
Content warning: mild nsfw
Sam:
-he doesn’t care because same LMFAO
-admittedly, he feels more comfortable with that piece of knowledge as he doesn’t feel as pressured to do everything right
-“wow, Farmer, really?! I wouldn’t have guessed, but me neither! B-but don’t worry, we will handle this together. This will be so much fun!”
-he’s excited to explore this new chapter of your life together…with lots of kissies
-can’t believe he is the first person to call you his’ and feels extremely flattered by it. He won’t shut up about it when he’s with Abi and Seb
-the smexy time with him will be a blast though. He’s maybe not the most skilled lover, but his enthusiasm makes up for all of it. He helps you relax and take it light. Be prepared for lots of praise and absent-minded filth coming from his mouth
Sebastian:
-homeboy really doesn’t give a shit tbh, he doesn’t even give you a big reaction
-we both know he hasn’t dated before either, but it’s nothing of his concern either
-“…ok, that’s cool…(?)” *proceeds playing games on his console”
-though you don’t have any reference points, he’s still trying to be the best boyfriend he can be for you because you deserve it (he won’t say that though)
-what can I say, he’s pretty indifferent 🤷🏼‍♀️
-about intimate business though…he has no clue what to do and wished at least you knew, but you both make it work. The first time is a bit too gentle, but that will change once you get the hang of it. It’s nerve-wrecking to him but he’s also excited to learn all these new things with you and make you feel good
Harvey:
-Harvey wouldn’t mind either way, he knows you’re an adult and that you can choose to live your life however you want to with whoever
-buuuut, unlike with the others, it makes him even more anxious that he is your first partner and wants to make everything right.
-“I’m not the most exciting guy, but I’ll try my best to make this relationship perfect for you, because you deserve nothing but the best.”
-His last relationship was years ago, so this feels new to him as well. He takes things slow with you, especially since he’s very shy and needs to ease into things as well. Everything being new to you makes him feel young again
-feels guilty for going further with you too as he doesn’t want to mess things up. He knows how painful and uncomfortable it can be and wants you to remember it fondly, peppering you with lots of kisses, soft touches, hand holding and prep work
-overall, he’s the best first boyfriend you could ever wish for. He’s caring, polite and cute :3
Elliott:
-ma man, ma boy, he has waited for this moment
-Elliott is a notorious romantic, of course he will take this opportunity to make your time with him the most special experience of your entire life
-“It will be a pleasure to show you the world through rose-coloured glasses, my love. *kisses your hand all so gently*. So you won’t ever forget that you are the light of my life, that you are loved.”
-not that he wouldn’t wanna do that if you had dated anyone before, but he goes along with things differently depending on your experience
-if you’re new to this, he will take it slow. The last he wants is to push you to do things you’re not comfortable with
-he’s a very romantic man, but that also encapsulates that he’s a very sexual man ( not in a creepy perv way of course, just very passionate about the whole gist of being intimate). But he waits with that for a LOOOONG time before he plans a romantic bedroom date with a hot bath, rose petals and body oils if he knows it’s your first relationship
-a lot of rom-com-esque adventures await you with this fine gentleman, and the build up to the big night will be worth the patience ;)
Shane:
-Quite frankly? He’s flustered the house lol
-I’m talking big rosy blush across his face and big eyes
-like, you chose HIM to be your first? Really?!
-he always thought highly of you, but now he has to reconsider how smart you could possibly be when you want him to be your first relationship
-“Uh, wow…a-and you’re sure you want to make this experience with me ?! Of all people?!”
-He has had many meaningless hookups in the past, but relationships….oof they weren’t that deep, and he never cared about any of them like he cares about you.
-He tries his best. He’s not an anxious mess like Harv, but he still watches how he behaves around you because he doesn’t want to break your spirit regarding relationships…he doesn’t want you to feel the way he has felt about love and trust
-though he had some hookups, it’s been A WHILE K, so he has major anxiety around your first time together. As much as he’d love to devour you, his anxiety makes him avoid it for the longest time. He wants nothing but the best for you, and he still doesn’t think highly of himself, not to mention his chub. But at some point, he is able to let his guard down as he knows you wouldn’t judge him for something like that ever.
Alex:
-ALEX, my precious…well yeah he is stoked ngl LOL
-he is a whole jock jerk but that’s all a facade, so this piece of information makes him a little less anxious but the more excited to give it his all to make this a one-of-a-kind experience to you
-“wait, REALLY?! That’s aweso- I mean, that’s interesting. I can consider myself a lucky guy to be your first boyfriend. You won’t ever regret it, I promise 😉” *dies on the inside and wants nothing but to scream in excitement*
-BUT it also boosts his ego through the roof. He can’t believe he is the guy that made you want to go the next step, especially as no one else made you want to have a relationship before him
-He’s nothing but a good old-fashioned lover boy. Man grew up with his grandparents, one of them being Evelyn (my precious granny), so he has some manners and knows how to treat a lady (if you’re not a lady, he will treat you like one regardless because that’s all he knows lol)
-I’m sorry but…man’s horny, and though he wants to take things slow for your sake, he will take the first opportunity to take you to bed with him let’s b real. He will be gentle with you and tries his best to make it “first time friendly”, but it is very hard for him as he has dreamed about this since the first time you’ve met.
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vanfleeter · 3 months ago
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My Love: Chapter 5
Characters: Jake Kiszka x Sara Warnings: 18+ || Gore. Blood. Vampires. Blood drinking. Death. Angst. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Arguing. Torture. Physical violence. Smut. Oral sex (m & f receiving). Cockblocking. Penetrative sex. Seduction. Makeout.
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It had only been two days since the dream and two days since I had any news from Danny or Sam about their search for Chris. After the incident with the Onyx, he disappeared. It wasn’t until one of our close friends in Spain spotted him and tipped us off to him. I wanted to go there and rip his heart out myself but I also knew that I needed to stay with Sara while she worked through her transition. She’s getting better and better every day and she’s handling the feeds with ease. Sometimes I even wonder if she’s doing better than I ever did when I was transitioning. Hell, she did a lot better than Sam or Josh did. Danny transitioned with ease.
Josh’s transition was far from easy. At first he seemed to get the hang of feed and release. Until one fateful night where he took it a step too far, couldn’t stop himself. Ended up draining the man and his psyche couldn’t handle the fact that he actually killed someone. He went on a blood strike for a month and nearly killed himself if Danny didn’t convince him to try again.
Sam? Well, Sam was known as the Ripper. Original, right? He was bloody thirsty. Lustful for it. He tore through Michigan like a tornado, which forced us to leave and go into hiding for a while. It was because of him that we had to live off of animal blood. We ended up having to lock him up in the basement, starving him of blood until he eventually took on the animal blood diet. Now that’s all that he prefers. He’ll indulge in human blood once a month just to keep up his strength but only if it’s provided to him in a blood bag or a glass. Anything to keep him from sinking his teeth into another human.
Danny was the easiest of us four to transition. He learned his limits almost immediately. Like Sam he stuck to blood bags. It was very rare when he would feed directly from a human and when he did, he reveled in the after feed sex. About the only time he ever had sex. He’s the one that keeps all of us in line with our feedings and with our powers.
Me? Well.. I started out like Sam, except I never killed anyone. I just fed on and slept with any woman I could get my hands on. While Sam ripped the heads off of people, I fucked every woman that gave me some of their time. I was the one who mastered the feed and release technique. Feed on a human until they become tipsy from the blood loss and then wipe their memory clear before sending them on their way.
Sara caught on nearly as quickly on the technique.
As for our powers?
Danny has the stare that can kill. Literally. One look from his eyes from underneath his brows and you’re a goner. He’ll have you quaking in fear or submitting to him on your knees in one second, whichever he prefers in the moment.
Josh has the gift of mind reading. Though he doesn’t use it often, he will if he wants to gain insider knowledge on something. He knows better than to use it on me. Sometimes he’ll, on a not common occasion, read someone’s mind just to see what they might be thinking of.
Sam was given the illusion of despair. He has the power to render anyone into self doubt and bring them to tears. He can even use your deepest and darkest fears against you to get you to do whatever he desires of you. Not one person can defend themselves against him. Not even the three of us.
The power I was given is the ability to make someone bleed with just one look and boil their blood from within. Similar to how Danny can look at a person and they submit. I give them one look and I can have them bleed out from any part of their body. I can even do it without looking at them. All I have to do is focus on the person and what I want to happen and it happens. I’ve only done it a handful of times. I found myself enjoying watching someone bleed from their eyes. I haven’t used my power in a long time now.
With Sara, we’re still trying to figure out her given power. She has all the basic vampiric powers. Strength, immortality, and compulsion. Which is great, but her given power will help enhance her survival and defense mechanisms. Hopefully she gets it soon. She’ll be able to protect herself if any of us four are indisposed.
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“So you can make someone bleed just by one look?” She asks.
I nod my head and take a drink of the now watered down whiskey. Disgusting. I point my chin in the direction of a man sitting at the bar. He’s been an asshole the whole night and it’s been making my body itch with the need to stick Sam on his ass. The only time I’d allow Sam to rip someone’s head off again.
“Watch..” I say as I put all of my focus on the man.
His laughter rings through the air, his loud and annoying laugh. He’s yapping loudly about his ex-wife but it slowly starts to fade. I can hear his blood rush through his veins and go straight for his nose. Blood steadily flows down from both of his nostrils. “What the fuck?!” He exclaims as he cups his hand over his face.
I chuckle as I lift my glass up to my lips and finish off the rest of the whiskey.
“That’s insane..” She says as she watches on in awe.
“Don’t expect me to always do it,” I say. “It’s only when I want to and that’s a pretty rare occasion.”
“I wonder if I can do that.”
I shrug my shoulders. “If that’s what you were gifted,” I say, leaning back in the chair. “Try it.. All you have to do is focus on your target. Pick an area where you want to draw the blood out.”
Sara nods her head and zeroes in on the same man. Nothing happens at first, no blood oozing out of any part of his body. Then suddenly…
“Argh!” The man screams as he clutches his right hand. “What the hell is happening?!”
I watch as his fingers twist, his bones cracking. His screams fill the bar and all of the patrons watch him in fear as his body continues to contort. Bones cracking everywhere as he falls to the floor.
Sara.
That’s her power.
Pain and bone breaking.
She’ll kill him if I don’t stop her.
“Sara..” I warn under my breath. “Time to stop.” But she doesn’t. I kick her foot under the table. She only flinches slightly but still she doesn’t stop.
Danny suddenly appears in front of her and she stops. Her eyes soften as he pours his energy into her. Soon the bones stop cracking and the man’s screaming calms down to just simple whimpers.
“I think we just figured out her powers..” Sam mutters beside me.
“What are you guys doing back so soon?” I ask.
“He’s gone again..” Danny leans on the table and cracks open a peanut that he picked up out of the bucket. “But everyone in the States is keeping their eyes and ears open should he reappear here.”
“Come on,” I say, grabbing Sara’s hand and pulling her through the bar and to the exit. We walk past the man who is still in a crumpled heap on the floor. I scoff, shaking my head and keep heading for the exit.
“Jake..” Sara says behind me as I continue dragging her down the street. She tries pulling her hand away but I hold tighter. “Jake, please stop.” But I don’t. I keep moving. “Jake!”
“What?!” I snap as I spin around to face her.
“You’re hurting me..” She says softly.
Looking down at our hands, I can definitely see just how tightly I’m holding her hand. Releasing my grip, I wipe my hand on my pants. “I’m sorry..”
“Why did we leave?” She says. “We could’ve stayed longer.”
“No.. We should get home.”
“But Jake–”
“We’re going home.”
“I don’t want to. I’m tired of constantly being in the house.”
“I’m trying to keep you safe.”
“I can protect myself..”
“Sara, don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be.”
“I’m making it difficult?” She scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest. “I feel like fucking Rapunzel locked up in her tower. Jake, I’m growing tired of constantly being inside the house. Nights like this are pretty fucking rare ever since–”
“Shut up..”
“Jake, I know you’re just trying to protect me from Chris but baby,” She cautiously raises her hand to my cheek and softly runs her thumb over my cheekbone. “I think we just learned inside that I can handle myself, should the need arise.”
I sigh and drop my chin. “Yeah.. I guess you’re right..” I lift my head again and immediately pull her into me. “I have to admit, that was pretty sexy..”
“Mmm, yeah? You think so?”
“I know so..” I grab her face in my hands and kiss her. “It makes me hard just thinking about it..”
She smiles against my lips before she kisses me. Pulling away she drags me into the nearest alleyway, away from wandering eyes, and shoves me up against the brick wall.
“Oh no..” I say, wagging my finger in front of her face. She pouts and slides her hands down to my crotch and palms me with her hand. She begins to rotate her wrist, moving her hand in circles. The friction causes the most pleasurable feeling. I let my head fall against the wall as I suck my bottom lip in between my teeth. She lets go of me and moves upwards to undo my pants.
“Look at you all ready..” She says as she finally releases me from my pants. Her hand wraps around my length as her thumb circles the tip. Sinking to her knees in front of me, she takes the full length of me inside of her mouth until I touch the back of her throat.
“Fuck..” I groan.
While my hand grabs a fistful of her hair, the other slams onto the ledge of the dumpster next to us. Receiving this next to a smelly dumpster is a total first for me.
Her tongue works its way around my length and she opens up her throat to take me deeper until she gags around me. The metal of the dumpster groans underneath my grip. She’s working me closer and closer to my release, the pleasure filling my veins and fogging up my head. I can’t help but to groan loudly as she sucks on my tip like a lollipop. No doubt anyone out on the sidewalk could hear me as they passed by.
“Oh god, get a fucking room!” I hear Sam shout.
Turning my head to the side, I can see him and Danny standing at the end of the alley, pulling out a cigarette and passing the lighter to each other. Danny has a smirk on her face as he lights his cigarette. “At least one of us is getting laid tonight.” He laughs before grabbing Sam by the collar and disappearing around the corner.
The feeling of her mouth around me disappears and she’s standing to her feet.
“Fuck, why’d you stop?”
“Oh, you wanted more?” She smirks and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Brat..” I grumble as I tuck myself back in my pants.
She winks at me before turning on her heels and leaving the alleyway. My god, she drives me insane. Pushing off the wall, I quickly follow after her and to the car in the parking lot where Sam and Danny are standing and waiting for us with Josh right next to them.
“Didn’t let you finish?” Josh smirks.
“Stay out of my head.” I quip as I shove him away. He laughs and shakes his head. “When did you get here anyways?”
“Just now..” He says as he snatches the box of cigarettes from Sam. “I have an update on Chris..” He sticks a cigarette in between his lips and lights it up before inhaling and puffing out a few clouds of smoke. “Eleanor says he’s in Memphis.”
“Eleanor?” Sam perks up. “She’s back?”
“Must be… Said she’s been sleeping with him for the past few days.” Josh puffs again and flicks some of the ashes onto the ground. “According to her, he goes out to feed during the day and when he comes back to her place, they fuck like rabbits.” He sees Danny grimace and he holds his hands in the air. “Her words, not mine,” He speaks around the cigarette in mouth.
“Why him though?” Sam grumbles.
“You two broke up over fifty years ago,” I say. “Let it go..”
“Speaking of exes..” Josh continues. “He’s not the only one in Memphis.” His eyes trail over to me. “Sitovo is back in the states too.”
“Sitovo?” Danny straightens up. “Didn’t she flee to Siberia or something after the Onyx picked up on her killing spree in Mexico?”
“Russia..” I mutter. Lifting my eyes, I see them all looking at me, including Sitovo. “What?”
“You would know her exact placement,” Sam smirks. “Considering..”
“Shut up..” I snap.
“Oooo, someone’s still sensitive.”
“I said shut up!”
Sam chuckles and nods his head in Sara’s direction. “Ever told her about Vo?”
“Besides that they dated way back when?” Sara says.
“They were lovers..” Sam smirks again. “Kind of like how you two are now. Fucked every chance they got.”
“Samuel, this is your last warning,” I growl. “Shut the fuck up.”
I can feel Sara’s eyes on me. I have told her about Sitovo but just that she’s someone I used to date.
“They were married back then.. Until Vo went crazy..”
“Jake?” I look over at Sara. “She was the one you lost..”
“Sara-” I start but she cuts me off.
“You told me she was dead..”
“In a manner of speaking..” Sam grumbles. Josh sends his arm across Sam’s chest, his hand slapping loudly. “Ow, geez.. Knock it off.”
“You knock it off.”
“Sara, I can explain..”
“Marriage?” Her eyes sparkled with tears and her chin quivered. “You were married?”
“Still are..” Sam pipes up again.
“Say one more word,” Danny threatens him.
“Sara, please..”
“How could I have been so stupid?”
“Baby, no,” I reach her hands and grasp them within my own. “You’re not stupid.”
“No?” She pulls her hands from mine. “You lied to me.. You made me believe that she was dead..” A tear slips down her cheek. “But you knew this whole time that she was still alive and you knew where she was! And you’re still married to her!”
“Sara, please let me explain.”
“No..” She shakes her head as she starts to back up. “I can’t be around you anymore..”
“Sara.. Sara, please.” I say as I try to follow after her.
It wasn’t until she was turning back around with her eyes on me that the blazing fire courses through my body, the pain unbearable as she crumbles me to the ground. “Stay away from me..” She says through clenched teeth.
“Please… Sara…”
The pain suddenly stops and she’s gone. Josh gathers me off the ground but I shove him away. Grabbing Sam by his collar, I press him into the side of the car. My hand curls around his throat, slowly cutting off his airway. “Why the fuck would you bring that up?!”
“I just..” Sam gasps. “She needed… To know!”
Images flashed in my head of the dream I had the other night. Chris with the stake in his hand. His smile flashes in my head. Sara’s screams fill my head.
“Stop it! Stop it!” I shout.
My hold on Sam loosens and he pushes me down to the ground. “She needed to know, Jake.” He says as he towers over me.
“You go find Sara,” Josh says to Danny. “And we’ll meet back up at the house.”
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My leg shook intensely as I waited for Danny to come back home with Sara. It had been hours since she stormed off, and rightfully so. I was an idiot for not telling her the full truth. I should have been honest with her from the start, but I was afraid that if she knew the truth then she wouldn't want to be with me.
I haven’t seen or heard from Sitovo since she fled to Russia. I tried to end the marriage before she left but she was so erratic and insane that she wouldn’t do it. I didn’t want to have to do it, I wanted to help her through her episode and bring her back into herself. It was painful waking up one morning and she was gone. She left her things behind, even her wedding rings.
She left a note explaining why she couldn't stay. Aside from her episodes and how crazy they were making her, she said she had to leave because the Onyx were after her. They learned of her killing spree in Mexico, something my brothers and I tried hard to cover up. But somehow they still found out. They couldn't risk her exposing the whole of the clan so they thought best to get rid of her. So she ran.
They showed up at the house not long after she had left and searched the whole place. No matter how many times I explained to them what happened, they didn’t believe me. At the time I had no idea where she had gone, I had no answers for them. They didn’t like that. For days they tortured me in hopes of receiving the answers they so desperately wanted out of me.
The sun was their main tactic. Removing my ring so I wouldn’t be protected. Whenever I answered with ‘I don’t know’, they’d draw the curtains, allowing the sun to burn my skin. Josh had to listen to my screams of pain, unable to help me. No one was allowed to help me. I was on my own.
The love of my life, or at least I thought she was, up and left and giving me up. It wasn’t until five months after the Onyx finally gave up on their search for her that she finally made contact via letter. She apologized for leaving but said she was safe in Russia. She was aware of my torture and said she wanted to help but couldn’t in fear of exposing herself to them. She couldn't risk it.
I had lost her for good. She was gone. I believed she was never coming back. And after fifty years, I chose to not be married to her anymore, even if we had a binding agreement. She was dead to me and to anyone who asked about her. That was that. I didn’t want to have to explain that she was definitely still alive and hiding out in Russia away from everything and everyone, including me.
Sitovo chose herself. She chose her own safety and left me to deal with the mess.
My only question to her now would be.. Why come back now?
Did Chris convince her too? Will he use her to get to me? To get to Sara?
What if he gets to her before Danny does?
What if–
Josh slaps my arm, pulling me out of my thoughts. He nods his head towards the doorway of the living room. There she stands with Danny, the look of annoyance clear as day on her face.
“Found her on the other side of town with some guy’s tongue shoved down her throat.” Danny explains as he walks down the few steps into the room and goes over to the alcohol table. Anger and jealousy boiled through my veins as I stared her down. I knew she knew it too because she wore a devious look on her face.
“Get out.” I order my brothers, not once breaking eye contact with Sara.
“Don’t break anything,” Josh says as he leads Danny out of the room.
Once I knew they were far enough away, I strode up to Sara and grabbed her by her neck. She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Jakey, you don’t scare me anymore.”
“Oh no?” I cock my head. “Are you sure about that?”
I could see my eyes darken through her pupils. Using full force, I swung her around and tossed her to the floor. “Now it’s my turn to have fun with you.” I say as I pin her to the floor.
“Your little blood trick doesn’t scare me either.”
I chuckle maliciously and grin at her. “You don’t know the extent of it. I only told you what I wanted you to know..”
“Like what you only told me about Sitovo?”
Gritting my teeth, I pull her off the floor and shove her up against the mantelpiece, cracking some of the molding. “You don’t get to talk about her..”
“Sounds to me that she still gets you riled up.” She dryly laughs and runs her fingertips along my jaw. “You still love her. I saw it in your eyes when Josh told you she was in Memphis.. I think that hurt worse seeing that than knowing you lied to me about her being dead, let alone failing to mention you’re still married.”
“Of course I still love her, I never stopped. But I only love her in the sense of someone that I care about. I don’t love her like I love you.”
“Love me how?” She questions.
She questions my love for her?
Pulling her off the mantelpiece, I shove her onto the couch. I instantly have her legs hooked over my shoulders as I press my lips against her needy center. I lick a stripe up her, her moan escaping from her lips. I licked and I sucked and fucked her with my fingers until I had her crumbling to pieces before me. I lapped up everything she had to offer and not leaving one bit of it behind. I pull away, letting her legs fall off my shoulders.
“Is that all you got?” She asks breathlessly.
Standing from the couch, I undo my belt and snap my fingers before pointing to the floor. “On your hands and knees. Now.”
She smirks and slides off the couch. Positioning herself on her hands and knees in the middle of the rug, she glances at me over her shoulder. I fall to my knees behind her and reach forward to turn her head away. Shoving my pants down, I free myself. I bunch up her dress to reveal most of her ass and I line myself up with her entrance.
“Would you have let him fuck you?” I say as I push just my tip past her folds.
“Maybe..”
I crack an open palm against her ass, making her yelp. “Yes or no?”
“Yes.” She responds.
“Hmph..” I huff before slamming myself into her. She lets out a loud moan, her head dropping downwards. “Does that feel good?”
“S-So good, Jake..”
“I’m sorry..” I lean over her and yank her head back. “Who?”
“S-Sir..”
I smirk and let go of her head, allowing it to drop forward again. “That’s what I thought..”
I pull out just enough to keep my tip inside of her. “Were you going to do it just to spite me?” I say as I slowly push back inside of her. “I take it Danny cock blocked you, didn’t he?”
“Y-Yes..” She stammers.
“Because he knows who you belong to..” I say as I thrust my hips again. “But I don’t think you do..” I retract myself, pulling all the way out.
“No.. No..” She pleads as she turns herself around. “Jakey please..” She says as she grabs hold of the lapels of my shirt.
I trace the expanse of her jaw and use my knuckle to draw her face close. “Then tell me who do you belong to?”
“You.. You..” She breathes against my lips as I lay her down on her back. “Only you..”
“That’s right, baby..” I say before kissing her neck. “Only me..” I thrust myself back inside of her and slowly started to create a steady rhythm. “I know I screwed up.. I know I should have told you the truth..”
She grabs a handful of my ass in both of her hands and squeezes tightly. I moan from the feeling it gives me and I dig deeper inside of her. “If you had been as honest as you were when you revealed to me that you’re a vampire, we wouldn't be in this mess..”
“I always want to be like this with you.”
I quicken the pace and thrust as deep as I can go inside of her. “Jake..” She moans. “Fuck, Jake I’m almost there.”
“Me too baby..”
I can feel my own orgasm creeping up, the build up becoming utterly unbearable. As soon as I feel her spill all over me, I’m crashing to my own orgasm.
Slow claps fill the room and I lift my head to find Chris standing in the entryway to the living room. “Enjoyed the show?” I smugly say as I pull out of Sara. Getting us both resituated, I pull her behind me.
Chris chuckles and shakes his head. “I have to say, Jacob. You’ve really found the loophole.. Creating a new vampire all because you didn’t want to give her up.” He takes a step down and smiles. “From my doing of course.”
“You killed her..”
“And she would have stayed dead had you not fed her your blood.”
“She didn’t deserve to die..”
“Had to do something..” Chris says. “I wasn’t given a choice.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “You had a choice.. But you took the trust that I had in you and used it against me.”
Chris rolls his eyes and moves down off the last step. “Oh quit with the dramatics, Jake.. I heard she nearly fucked someone else tonight,” He chuckles. “Aren’t we jealous?”
“Shut up..”
“Though I gotta say, Sitovo is quite the little thing herself.”
I clear my throat and run a hand through my hair. “She’s free to do whatever…or whoever…she chooses to.”
“Good to know you still care about me.” Sitovo steps out from around the corner. Her hair was longer and curled around her shoulders. Her eyes still looked like the same old ocean blue as they always were. Her staple red lipstick was stark against her pale skin. She never could color in her skin as easily as anyone else.
“Hello again, Jake.. I see you moved on..”
“I see you have to,” I responded back. “Russians weren’t enough for you that you had to stoop so low to the Red coats?”
“Oh very original,” Chris scoffs. “It’s been two hundred and forty-eight years..”
“Should have killed you that day. Then we wouldn’t be standing here right now.”
“But then that would’ve meant I couldn’t enjoy making love with this pretty, little thing.” He says as he traces Sitovo’s jaw.
“Why are you here?” I question him. “To finish the job?”
“As much as I would love that, I love having my limbs intact.”
“How do you know about that?”
“Don’t think I haven’t been keeping tabs on you like you have been on me.” Chris folds his arms over his chest. “Besides, I’ve been in town a lot longer than you know. I guess Josh doesn’t have good enough resources.” He turns his attention to Sara and smirks. “Your lips taste so sweet..”
“How would—” Sara gasps behind me. “That was you?!”
Chris smirks. “I have the gift of shapeshifting darling.” He winks. “I could’ve killed you on the spot had Danny not shown up when he did.”
“Oh… My… God…” I say as I turn to face Sara. “You almost fucked him?!”
“I didn’t know it was him!” Sara exclaims.
“Get off my couch..” I say pointing behind me at Chris as he tries sitting down.
“Just wanted somewhere comfortable to sit while the show went on..”
“Then you can watch my foot go up your ass,” I hear Danny say as he and Josh enter the room.
“You know this is getting so exhausting..” Josh says as he fills a glass with whiskey. “Give up already Chris.”
“Not until I finish what I was set out to do.”
“Then I won’t hesitate to snap your neck..” Josh says as he casually sips on his whiskey.
“You know that doesn’t–”
“Before I burn your body…” Josh continues.
“That’d be a bonfire I’d love to participate in..” Danny snickers from his place beside Sitovo. He casually turns his head to look at her and grins. “I wouldn’t mind adding you to the pile too.”
“Ooo, who's having a bonfire and can I join?” Sam says as he walks through the front door. “I love a good s’more.”
“Josh threatened Chris..” Danny continues grinning.
“Oh goody, I won’t have to collect firewood.”
“Now I can see why you went crazy,” Chris says as he turns to look at Sitovo. “They’re nothing but murderous freaks.”
“Well, it is what we were made to do,” Josh says. “Although we do have control, unlike someone…”
“Hey, it was one time..” Sam says defensively.
Danny slaps him across his chest. “Not you..” He says as he glares at Sitovo. Sitovo rolls her eyes and shifts her weight to her other foot.
“You still haven’t moved on yet?” Sitovo questions. “It’s been over two hundred years, build a bridge and get over it.”
Sam casually leans over towards her, “I would shut up if I were you,” He says. “You’re poking the stick at the wrong bear.”
“All I’m saying is–”
“And all I’m saying is,” Danny says, his voice raising in volume. “You killed me..”
“I brought you back..”
“Yeah, like this!” He exclaims, motioning his hands around himself. “I told you no, I didn’t want this! I didn’t want any of this and you took that choice away from me! I lost everything because of you! I had to hide from my own family so they wouldn’t kill me! Do you know how hard that was?! I had to watch them grow old while I stayed like this! I had to watch them die while I kept living!”
“I gave you a gift..”
“That’s it..” Danny rolls up his sleeve and takes the first swing at her, knocking her to the ground.
“Hey hey!” Sam shouts as he pulls Danny off of Sitovo. “She’s not worth it, Danny.. Come on, stop!”
“Just let me rip her head off!”
Chris laughs, shaking his head. “The quiet one is always the first to explode.”
“I’d shut up if I were you,” Josh says. “Anyways.. While Sam calms down Danny.. Let me ask you this.. Did you come back to finish the job?” He asks.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
Josh scoffs. “Why come here then, to a house full of vampires that literally want to kill you, when you could have easily done it when you had her in the first place?”
“I thought about it, I did.” Chris says, nodding his head. “But that just wouldn’t satisfy me much.”
Sitovo manages to pick herself up from the floor and slowly approaches me. I throw my hand out, capturing her by the neck. She gasps for air as I gradually squeeze my fingers into her throat. “You..” I growl as I look at her. “Why are you here then?”
“I’ve come..to make..amends…with you,” She croaks.
“Ha!” I laugh loudly. “Bullshit..” I drop her to the floor and she takes in gulps of air to regain herself.
“You’re still my husband, Jake.” She says as she looks up at me.
I scoff, “I haven’t been your husband for fifty years, Vo. You left me.”
“I know.. And I’ve regretted every day since,” Sitovo stands back to her feet and straightens out her clothes. “I came back in hopes that we could rekindle what we once had.”
“Never will I ever want to rekindle anything with you, except your body.”
“Ooo,” She shutters with a grin. “Talking dirty already.” She says as she dares to take a step closer. “There’s my Jakey..” She walks her fingers up my shoulder, goosebumps being left in her wake.
Fuck.
Stop it.
You don’t love her anymore.
Don’t let her convince you otherwise.
Her fingers make their way to my jaw and she turns my head so that I’m looking at her. Her face is so close to me, I can smell the cherry lip gloss on her lips.
“My sweet, sweet Jakey..”
“Paws off,” Sara warns beside me. If I’m being honest, I forgot she was still there.
“Or what?” Sitovo spats. “You’ll break every bone in my body?” She laughs menacingly before pressing her lips to mine. “Let him go, just for a little bit. You can have your fun, why can’t he?”
I felt like puddy in her hands, melting into her palms.
No.
Jake, fight it.
“Jake?” Sara calls from beside him.
“Uh oh..” Josh mutters.
“Jake, snap out of it,” Sara says as she tugs on my arm. “Jake!”
Sitovo licks her tongue across my lips before pushing it inside my mouth. I can’t help but to kiss her back, the feeling is too overwhelming to fight. This was her gift. She was able to seduce a man into doing whatever she willed him to. It was a curse on the man but a blessing for her. She reveled in it.
The sensation fell away, the clouds breaking up in my head as I came back to my senses. Sitovo’s wails filled my ears and I looked down to see her crumbling to the floor in agonizing pain.
“Why couldn’t you just listen?” I hear Sara say beside me.
I could feel anger beginning to course through my blood. Danny’s anger flowed through me and I smirked. Putting all of my focus on Sitovo, I began to drain the blood from her heart and make it flow from her eyes.
“Jake!” She cries. “Jake… Please!”
“You betrayed me..” I growl. “You broke me..”
“Jake!”
“Now it’s my turn..”
I could see Chris trembling as fear overtook his body. Once I was finished with Sitovo and she was nothing but an empty shell of a body, I turned to face Chris. Danny’s anger dissipated from my body and I felt like myself again. I smirked at Chris and he looked at me in fear.
“Scared of me now, traitor?” I say as I slowly make my way across the room. “You took advantage of our friendship, and you betrayed my trust.”
“Jake, I-”
“I considered you a brother. I loved you like you were one.”
“Come on, Jake.. We can work this out. Start over?”
I laugh loudly. “Ha! Start over? Start over?! We’re in this mess because of you!”
“I don’t think so…”
I look behind him at Danny and I nod my head. Danny steps behind Chris and cracks his knuckles. But before he has the chance to even touch him, Chris is violently throwing his head back and smashing into Danny’s nose, causing him to stumble backwards in slight pain. Chris lunges forward and pins me to the mantelpiece. I can’t tell if the cracking I hear is my spine or the concrete.
“I wanted to be civilized about this..” Chris says as he lifts my chin and crushes my throat in his hands. “Handle this myself, but I guess I was wrong..” Before I know it, he has the poker in his hand and he shoves it through my abdomen. “I’m older than you, Jacob. I’m stronger and faster and I could kill you right now, along with your brothers. Maybe I’ll even spare Sara..”
I struggle against him but the iron poker only shifts inside my body causing more pain.
“She was gorgeous as a human but now?” He chuckles and smirks. “I guess ever since she turned, vampirism has given her more confidence. She’s absolutely glowing.. I mean.. Look at the body..”
“Don’t..you..touch..her..” I gasp.
“Come on, just a little taste..”
Suddenly the shift in the room changes. Sam and Danny are dropping to their knees and groaning in pain as they clutch their heads. Josh follows seconds later, his whiskey glass falling to the floor and breaking into pieces.
“No! No! Jake!” Chris turns my head to the side, making me watch as two other men are grabbing and pulling at Sara. “Jake!”
“Please..” I beg. “Please…don’t kill her…”
Chris laughs menacingly and turns my head back so I’m looking at him. “Don’t worry.. She’ll be safe with me..”
The last thing I heard was Sara screaming my name again before I heard the cracking of bone and everything going black.
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@losfacedevil @writingcold @edgingthedarkness @i-love-gvf @katuschka @josh-iamyour-mama @sammysstolenbirks @asendingtothestarsasone @hollyco @musicislove3389 @its-interesting-van-kleep @katiegvf @tinydancer40 @gretavangroupie @lizzys-sunflower @fleetingjake @takenbythemadness @godly-sinsx @psychedelectable @dancingcarbon @oliverfuckingreed @cheersdannyx2 @piratejtk @katuschka @thetroublegetssoloud71
apologies about the tag list, tumblr won't tag a lot of people, but some are in the comments.
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delulu4dean · 1 year ago
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“Five Gum…”
Warnings: idk, cringe outdated pop culture references. Gender neutral terms(just wanting you so you don’t get like confused <3 )
Pairings: Cas X autistic!reader(platonic), Dean x child!reader
Summary: Castiel is hanging out with Dean’s autistic child, and they have a lot in common.
Word Count: 1,278
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Your dad, Dean Winchester, is out on a hunting trip with your Uncle Sammy. He left you alone with Castiel. You don’t know what Castiel is to your dad, they say they’re best friends, but the way they look at each other says more.
You didn’t mind being at the bunker with Cas though. Out of everyone, you got along with him the most. You had some sort of mutual understanding that Sam and Dean don’t get. You assumed it’s because Castiel didn’t know much about human interaction, social cues, pop culture references, and you were well, autistic. Your dad has made the joke that you and Castiel tilt your head the same way when you’re confused, and both don’t understand his sarcasm, and how even though your Dean’s kid, you’re a mini-Cas.
“So what are we doing today?” Castiel asks you.
“I know my dad is protective, but you really don’t need to babysit me, I’m 18. I am an adult,” you explain to Castiel.
“That’s not why he leaves me with you, he just doesn’t want you to get lonely.”
You nod, understanding. Today you’re probably going to do what you and Cas always do, exist next to each other while doing your own things. He’ll be reading something, you’ll be drawing something, and occasionally you two will look at each other, and ask how it’s going. It’s always worked that way.
And that is what you do today. You both go to the library together, Castiel picks out a book, you pull out your sketchbook, and you start doing what you learned is called “parallel play.” At least that’s what it’s called in kids, but you figured the term can be applied here too. You start sketching away as Castiel looks at you, narrowing his eyes.
“You wear that jacket all the time, why?” he asks.
“It brings me comfort. You wear that trench coat all the time, even indoors when you don’t need to. Why is that?” you throw the question right back at him.
“I suppose it also brings me some sense of comfort,” he concludes.
You nod, satisfied with his answer, and go back to sketching, as he goes back to his book. The only sounds filling the room are Castiel’s occasional page flipping, and your constant scribbling. This goes on for half an hour, only to be interrupted by your stomach erupting in hunger. Castiel does not say a word, as he gets up and goes to the bunker’s kitchen, and comes back with a prepackaged peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“Oh thanks. When did we get these?” you raise an eyebrow.
“I got them the last time I went grocery shopping with your dad. He said you were having trouble eating because the foods we’ve been getting weren’t the right texture, and I remember when I was human I loved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, you can never go wrong with them. But I know you sometimes just want ready made food, and when I saw these in the freezer section, I told Dean to get them.”
A smile comes across your face as you open the packaging and take a bite. These prepackaged peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were one of your safe foods, your other one being boxed mac and cheese. You bounce happily as you eat, something you do whenever you’re eating food you really like. And if it’s super good, you’ll kick your feet a little too.
You lick your fingers after you finish your sandwich, and sign “thank you” in ASL, something you do when you don’t feel like talking much. It’s a thing you do with everyone, you’ve taught them basic signs like “yes” or “no” or “please” or “thank you” or “food” or “water” to communicate when you don’t feel like talking.
“No problem,” Cas responds, smiling at you.
You nod and get back to your little activity while Castiel gets back to his. The silence is nice, you get to focus on you sketch, which is a picture of Castiel sitting down in his chair, reading. You occasionally glance up at him, getting the details you need, but you’re not going for realism. You have your own cartoonish art style and you’re drawing Castiel in it. Once you finish, you show him, and a big smile appears on his face as he puts down his book.
“You drew that? That’s me,” he says, and you nod. “I love it.”
You smile and start putting your art supplies away, as he goes back to reading. You clean up your space and put everything back in your room, before returning to Cas. You look over his shoulder at the book he’s reading, trying to not disturb him. He flips through the pages as he reads. But the page flipping and the silence get too much.
“Dicks out for Harambe,” you blurt out, not thinking.
Castiel once again sets his book down, this time not intending to pick it back up, as he looks up at you concerned. You didn’t think before speaking, but being on the internet you hear this phrase a lot. So you said it, and now Castiel is concerned.
“Who is Harambe and why are we exposing ourselves for him,” Castiel asks.
You think for a moment, wanting to answer him, but there’s no way to answer him without sounding stupid and insane. You take a deep breath, giggling a little at the thought of explaining “dicks out for Harambe” to Castiel.
“It’s an internet thing. This gorilla, Harambe, was killed, so we uh, expose ourselves, as you put it, to pay respects to him,” you attempt at an answer but Castiel furrows his eyebrows, getting even more confused.
“How is that paying respect?”
“Well it isn’t… it’s a joke…”
“I thought jokes were supposed to be funny,” he bluntly says.
“It is… to younger people I guess,” you shrug.
“And you said it because…?”
“I said it to fill the silence.”
Cas takes a moment to think, nodding, taking in what you just explained. He then takes his phone out and types away and you look at him, waiting for him to say or do something. He pats the seat next to him and you sit and look at his phone. It’s one of those fruit sensory videos on TikTok that you got Castiel into. Not the baby videos(well they are the baby videos) but the ones to popular music. You and Castiel watched as blueberries and strawberries bounce around the screen to Lincoln Park’s “Numb.”
“Why are we watching this?” you finally ask.
“You seemed like you needed something stimulating to watch or listen to,” Cas answers you.
“That reminds me,” you say, running to your room to grab something quick.
✰✰✰✰✰
Sam and Dean walk into the bunker, and as soon as they see everything, they just look around, confused. The ground is covered in bubble wrap, and the map table is full of Pop-it fidgets. You look up at your uncle and dad, as you and Cas run around barefoot on the bubble wrap, playing with the fidgets.
“What are you doing?” Dean asks.
You look up at him, with an innocent smile on your face.
“Five gum!” you yell at him, throwing a pop-it fidget at him, and he catches it. “Stimulate your senses!”
“I think they are making a joke, because this is a way to stimulate our feeling sense, which is something people on the spectrum often do,” Castiel explains to Dean.
“Yeah, I know what they meant, Cas,” Dean chuckles. “You two have fun while we were gone?”
You and Cas both nod.
✰✰✰✰✰
A/N sorry if this is silly, I’m autistic and Kin cas so I thought it would be fun to do Cas and Dean’s autistic kid. But autism is a spectrum! While this may be how autism is for me, it doesn’t represent everyone with autism :)
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lucky-clover-gazette · 6 months ago
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kings rising highlights & annotations
chapter 1
indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!
also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!
i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.
this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.
A hiss of a rock, thrown. Nikandros came up off his knees, drawing his sword. Damen flung out a hand in a motion for halt, stopping Nikandros instantly, his sword showing a half-foot of Akielon steel.
nik. it's a rock. chill the fuck out.
Damianos, prince-killer. His mind, used to battlefield decisions, took in the sweep of the courtyard, and made the commander’s choice: to minimise losses, to limit bloodshed and chaos, and to secure Ravenel. The Veretian guards were beyond his orders, and the Veretian people . . . if these bitter, furious emotions could be soothed among the Veretian people, he was not the one to soothe them. There was only one way to stop what was about to happen, and that was to contain it; to lock it down, to secure this place once and for all. Damen said to Nikandros, ‘Take the fort.’
i like how the book starts immediately with a very clear example of how the status quo has irreversibly changed. damen has no choice but to act as akielion (akielon? whatever) prince/commander, because that’s how everyone sees him now. even if he hasn’t changed at all from how he’d been five minutes ago
Guymar purposefully spat, and for his trouble was backhanded hard across the face with a mailed fist by the Akielon soldier. Damen let it happen, aware of what would have happened if a man had spat on the ground in front of his father.
i think what i said at the end of book 2 holds true here - damen spent prince’s gambit in the romance genre with interruptions from the war/politics genres, but with laurent’s (presumed accidental) outing of him as prince he’s now forced to live in the same world that laurent’s been in for the past two books. like “yep gotta let my former friend and ally get slapped because politics. man if only laurent had known that i was the prince, we could have avoided this :/“
‘We don’t stand together,’ said Guymar. ‘You betrayed our Prince.’ And then, as though he almost couldn’t bear to say it, ‘You had him—’
in all senses of the phrase, laurent very much had damen
Damen said, ‘I made him a promise.’ ‘And when he learns who you are?’ said Jord. ‘When he learns that he is facing Damianos on the field?’ ‘Then he and I meet each other for the first time,’ said Damen. ‘That was also a promise.’
damen reclaiming his princely authority while being so profoundly wrong… embarrassing
He had a sense of holding on, as though if he just held the fort, held these men together long enough to reach Charcy, then what followed— He couldn’t think about what followed, all he could do was keep to his promise.
he is so devoted to laurent that he doesn’t even stop to think that he’s been screwed over. me too damen, as a first-time reader. and even now, on a second read, i'm not sure how much i trust laurent. i've forgotten the intricacies of his plan and i didn't do a close-reading the first time around, so there are certain things i just can't say for sure at this point.
anyway, i actually think d&l have a ton in common in terms of how they express and demonstrate devotion. they both have bleeding hearts, it’s just that laurent’s has had a much longer time to harden. the way he assesses and handles situations is with a detachment he believes is necessary, so he doesn’t lose control, while damen throws himself wholeheartedly into everything he cares about. they have the same fierceness and passion, and while working together they help to balance out their approaches while applying that passion. starting the book out like this, with damen's devotion on full display and laurent's being majorly questioned, is very smart. because they both need to evolve from this point, in order to be good kings and good partners to each other.
like honestly, they both just need to sit the fuck down and tell the truth and accept that they both care about each other and they don’t have to be avoidant freaks about it. not that either of them (mostly laurent, but also damen in a different way) actually wants to do that. and that’s what the first like 1/3 of the book is about, as i recall: their petty divorce drama until they both give in and decide to figure out their shit.
The ghost of his father seemed to prickle over his skin. It was his father’s title, but his father no longer sat on the throne at Ios. Looking at the bowed head of his friend, Damen realised it for the first time. He was no longer the young prince who had roamed the palace halls with Nikandros after a day spent wrestling together on the sawdust. There was no Prince Damianos. The self that he had been striving to return to was gone.
“with real power comes real responsibility, and i don’t want any of that shit” - dennis reynolds, it’s always sunny in philadelphia
Damen took in Nikandros’s familiar, classically Akielon features, his dark hair and brows, his olive face and straight Akielon nose. As children, they had run barefoot together through the palace. When he’d imagined a return to Akielos, he’d imagined greeting Nikandros, embracing him, heedless of the armour, like digging in his fingers and feeling in his fist the earth of his home.
so they've definitely fucked right
Damen thought of the soldiers bursting into his rooms, of being lashed down in the slave baths, of the dark, muffled journey by ship to Vere. He thought of being confined, his face painted, his body drugged and displayed. He thought of opening his eyes in the Veretian palace, and what had happened to him there. ‘You were right about Kastor,’ Damen said. It was all he said.
nice vs. good theme breakthrough!
He heard of his own body, wrapped and taken in the processional through the acropolis, then interred beside his father.
okay so which dead palace employee/slave got to posthumously cosplay as damen’s corpse
He heard Kastor’s claim that he had been killed by his own guard.
copying the regent's homework
To the Kyros of Delpha, Nikandros, from Laurent, Prince of Vere.
"hey girl,"
The letter was old. The writing was old. Laurent must have sent the letter from Arles.
see my previous breakdown from book 2 chapter 21 about how laurent literally failsafed losing the only living person who loves him with this gambit
It made tactical sense, in a horrifying way, for Laurent to have made an alliance with Nikandros. Laurent had always been capable of a kind of ruthless pragmatism. He was able to put emotion aside and do what he had to do to win, with a perfect and nauseating ability to ignore all human feeling.
i mean i think there was feeling there. making the alliance also was a way for laurent to dispose of damen, returning him to his people so the regent couldn’t use him to torture laurent. because at that point i’m not sure if laurent wanted damen dead, but he definitely wanted him gone. and he’d assumed that damen would want that too
In return for aid from Nikandros, the letter said, Laurent would offer proof that Kastor had colluded with the Regent to kill King Theomedes of Akielos.
okay yeah THAT’S GOOD. and it explains how laurent gets himself in his situation in the next chapter, he’s following up on the promise by trying to get the info from govart/guion
The straightforward ease of it left him without words. He had forgotten what home felt like. He had forgotten trust, loyalty, kinship. Friends.
i’m glad nikandros is a real one. but damen please don’t regress so much that you forget straightforwardness and ease =/= truth and loyalty. oh fuck he can’t hear me
‘Your friend [Nikandros, talking about himself] is a fool and courts treason for a keepsake.’
yeah it makes sense that these two are besties
To gain everything and lose everything in the space of a moment. That is the fate of all princes destined for the throne.
this or a kingdom. guess he’ll kingdom
‘Kastor made me a slave. Laurent freed me. He gave me command of his fort and his troops, an act of trust for an Akielon he had no reason to elevate. He doesn’t know who I am.’
oh honey
‘The Prince of Vere freed you,’ said Nikandros. ‘You have been his slave?’ His voice thickened with the words. ‘You have served the Prince of Vere as a slave?’
this isn’t an hr complaint quite yet but it is a “nikandros takes out his phone and bitches on his private twitter moment” moment. which i think should be a tally as well. nikandros private twitter venting moment #1
He knew what they saw—a hundred images of slaves, submitting, bending at the hip, parting their thighs, the casual ease with which these men would have taken slaves in their own households.
back in book 1, when assessing the state of erasmus in torveld’s possession, i recall that damen assumes that veretians think that “there is no honour in submission.” implying that to damen in book 1, and akielons in general, there IS honor in a slave’s submission. but here, when their prince—a person they respect—is revealed to have been made a slave, they definitely don’t perceive it as an honor. so which one is it? whatever submission damen shows/showed laurent is voluntary and honorable by his own moral code. he hasn’t been groomed or brainwashed into submitting his own free will. get on his level or keep your judgment to yourselves, hypocrites
‘Does it shock you? I was a personal gift to the Prince of Vere.’ He had bared his whole forearm. Nikandros turned to Makedon, his voice harsh. ‘You will not speak of this. You will never speak of this outside this room—’ Damen said, ‘No. It can’t be hidden.’ He said it to Makedon.
i think damen can at least subconsciously see the hypocrisy here. and he’s indignant about it >:)
‘You were the Prince’s slave?’ Revulsion was stamped on Makedon’s face, whitening it. ‘Yes.’
'and tbh i’d drop the past tense i had the blacksmith keep this thing on me'
‘You—’ Makedon’s words echoed the unspoken question in Nikandros’s eyes that no man would ever say aloud to his King. Damen’s flush changed in quality. ‘You dare ask that.’ Makedon said, thickly, ‘You are our King. This is an insult to Akielos that cannot be borne.’
and now damen’s piiiiiisssssssed. i think partially because he knows it was the best night of his life and doesn’t want to be shamed for it, lol
‘You will bear it,’ said Damen, holding Makedon’s gaze, ‘as I have borne it. Or do you think yourself above your King?’ Slave, said the resistance in Makedon’s eyes. Makedon certainly had slaves in his own household, and made use of them. What he imagined between Prince and slave stripped it of all the subtleties of surrender. Having been done to his King, it had in some sense been done to him, and his pride revolted at it.
okay yeah damen’s totally ending the institution of slavery once he's king and the gradual development of changing his mind has been both demonstrated effectively and completely earned throughout the past two books. i think this is why some of the cruelest things in book 1 happen to damen in the first place—they had very little to do with the development of his relationship with laurent, and everything to do with this personal arc for damen’s character. moments like this are the payoff to all of that subtle and consistent work. damen’s wake-up call of being treated like a slave and realizing it’s not what he thought, now transferring to his fellow slave-owners like a moral salve (not a typo for slave. like medicine).
The plan he had developed with Laurent was simple,
ARE YOU SURE
Damen’s men were the bait.
damen sees those red flags and just keeps pushing forward
It struck its front hoof on the cobbles, as though seeking to overturn a stone, arching its neck, perhaps sensing, in the manner of all great beasts, that they were on the cusp of war.
do you think damen and laurent’s horses miss each other
But Jord and Huet. Lazar. Scanning their faces, Damen saw who they were. These were the men of the Prince’s Guard, with whom Damen had travelled for months. And there was only one reason why they had been released from confinement. Damen held up a hand, and Jord was allowed through, so that for a moment their horses circled each other. ‘We’ve come to ride with you,’ said Jord. Damen looked at the small clump of blue now gathered before the rows of red in the courtyard. There weren’t many of them, only twenty, and he saw at once that it was Jord who had convinced them, so that they were here, mounted and ready. ‘Then we ride,’ said Damen. ‘For Akielos, and for Vere.’
<3
The uncertain terrain was a valley of doubt, fringed by trees and dangerous slopes.
“the uncertain terrain was a valley of doubt” great line
Damen would never bring men into this kind of disadvantage without a counter plan.
SSFGHYSUDGFYSUDF
If he just did that, just kept to his promise, then after—
now damen’s the one being controlled by his emotions and desperation. oops!
‘If we do that, and your Veretian doesn’t arrive, we’ll all be killed.’ ‘He’ll be here,’ said Damen.
cringe
Laurent had never planned to come. That was what the scout was screaming, right before an arrow took him in the back. ‘This is your Veretian Prince exposed for what he is,’ said Makedon.
so i know that having akielos show up was laurent’s plan, but i forget if laurent had EVER intended to show up at charcy, or if the plan was always to screw damen over. like laurent tells damen that was the plan, after the fact, or at least doesn’t apologize. because he's a petty bitch and mad at damen for lying and doesn't want to talk about the fact that he got tortured. but i still think that laurent could have intended to be there, just with the twist of damen being exposed, if he hadn’t been held up and injured. after all, the akielos allyship plan has been a thing since vere, but the charcy plan was in response to something laurent 100% did not see coming. laurent couldn't have ended the snowball effect of his own gambit by the time he realized he liked and trusted damen, but he could only have planned charcy after they bonded for almost an entire book. they're two different plans, by two slightly different laurents. not that damen can really see that right now.
i don’t know, i always tend to give laurent more grace than he probably deserves. i WANT him to do better than he sometimes does, because he is a character i'm rooting for, and i know that he cares about being honorable in his own messy imperfect way. (me 🤝 damen).
but even if we're just looking at it without any kind of emotional attachment, it simply isn't characteristic of laurent to leave so many of his own people to die, if he can avoid it. so it would make sense for him to at least try to keep his promise of showing up. but then again, when he’s overwhelmed by emotions he does make uncharacteristically stupid choices. and he is pissed at damen, kind of, although i do think he feels much more endeared to him now than he’d been when he sent nikandros the letter from arles. so he must have meant to be there. but then AGAIN, maybe laurent still somehow assumes that damen was just using him as a fuck, especially since damen didn’t tell the truth even when they started having sex. because laurent is an idiot about feelings, and he doesn’t want to see that damen cares, so he convinces himself that damen deserves to be abandoned on the battlefield.
i don't knowwwwww, my heart says one thing and my literary analysis brain tentatively agrees (laurent meant to be there but couldn't make it), but i hate getting things wrong and laurent is a slippery bitch. and again, this is on a SECOND READ. i just don't remember, for sure, if laurent meant to be at charcy. i don't know if it's even ever said, or just meant to be read between the lines. this may seem negligent or shallow, but listen, the first time i read this book was a binge-read. i read it in a night, right after reading a good chunk of prince's gambit in the afternoon. i was paying a lot less attention to the war/plan stuff and just focusing on the dysfunctional gay people. what i didn't realize, in my haste, is that the war/plan stuff adds an entire new dimension to the gay people's dysfunction. which is why i firmly believe that this is a series that needs to be read twice, at least. these are not romance books, they're a fucking psychological experience. they're like an escape room for your brain that just happens to have horny gay people inside.
Damen had no time to think before the situation was on him.
laurent in book 2: “i can’t think”
There was a dark logic to it. Have your slave convince the Akielons to fight. Let your enemies do your fighting for you, the casualties taken by the people you despise, the Regent defeated or weakened, and the armies of Nikandros wiped out.
and if it was laurent of book 1 or early book 2, that would have made perfect sense. but he made the charcy plan at the end of book 2 come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. it can't be as simple as "laurent fully meant to screw you over," even if he didn't manage to show up as a result of his own plans that nobody else knew about. laurent took two steps forward at the end of book 2, trusting damen enough to emotionally and physically be intimate with him AND making this charcy plan with him. i think it makes sense for him to have taken one step back, in not actually telling damen the full truth about the alliance or laurent's own sidequest that ends up getting him captured and injured, but i just don't think he took TWO entire steps back, by putting damen and his men in a deadly situation with zero intention to help. that's too simple for him, both in an in-universe sense and in a "this is how good storytelling (which pacat can at this point be reasonably trusted to do) works" sense. it has to be something in between, even if damen and laurent assume/claim otherwise.
Damen found himself alongside Jord. ‘If you want to live, ride east.’ White-faced, Jord took one look at his expression and said, ‘He’s not coming.’
jord stays losing
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massivechildtidalwave · 3 months ago
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Interesting prompts involving KHR in case anyone wants to use them. KHR X DP edition
This is part one there will be more. Feel free to use just tag me if possible so I can read them.
After a reveal gone wrong Jazz takes Danny and runs to Italy to escape their parents. (she took Italian for curiosity sake and it makes sense for her to go a area who’s language she could speak). Tucker and Sam help with the escape but because all of them leaving would be weird and raise questions they don’t need, are forced to wait until the end of the school year to join them.
Jazz takes the easiest job she could find that makes money because she’s not relying on her brothers best friends family money even if Sam insists, with Tucker giving school information to get through the required bits as quickly as possible. She lands on a high paying customer service job like hairdressing or
Tucker also gives them fake identification just to make sure the government can’t find them and force them back to the Fentons.
whoops! Some members of the Varia frequents the place that she works and are suspicious. (She is way to capable for the job, No CIVILIAN should be able to catch Bels knifes, do hair to perfection and still have time to coo at a cat from across the street while being completely unfazed by the KNIFE they just had to dodge. It’s just something that doesn’t happen.)
Something is clearly not right with Jazz Nightengale, they just know it! Whoever did the background check is getting fired!
Meanwhile with Jazz, she’s doing her best to be normal but she was born a Fenton and there is just a amount of insanity that is tied to that family no matter the legal connection.
Everything Danny learned came from her and I feel like she’s the kind of kid to have picked up knife tricks or random weaponry for the “experience”
Danny is healing, he’s doing online school, she has a well paying job and is going back to school to become either a psychologist or a therapist. In her mind everything is fine.
(Tucker is the kind of kid who breaks into government documents for fun with outdated technology, he could absolutely get his own handmade documents past Varia inspection, he was making them with the intention of them holding up to government scrutiny and is best friends with Sam. )
(Jazz lived in a murder house her entire life while basically parenting Danny, not only can she multitask she is also Flame Active. However I think she would instinctive hide her Flames because of how ‘unnatural powers’ have been handled in her family. I’d place her as either a Rain or a Cloud depending on how well she is mentally after escaping with Danny. This could lead to Cloud Gaurdian Jazz.)
🦋🦋🦋
For Angst or Hurt/Comfort lovers
Danny as Verde could lead to some interesting angst. Maybe Dani needed some help keeping her form and he went into science, maybe we threw himself into science after a Nasty Burger explosion to avoid becoming like Dan, or maybe he had to quickly find a way to earn money after a Reveal gone wrong and decided to use what he knew about technology from his parents to make things for selling.
Of course once he had money he could experiment a little bit. slowly making more and more things based on his interests instead of just for money. However it slowly gets darker as he makes slightly more unhinged experiments with different methods to explain them.
He wants to create a new better prosthetic out of boredom but doesn’t have any one to give him feedback, until he runs into someone attacking someone else. He saves the injured person but their arm is pretty messed up, he might have to remove it. And his prototype is an arm prosthetic so might as well get that feedback!
He remembers his parents muzzles quite well and makes a more horrible version after a nightmare as a way to help get his footing back. “If someone can get out of this, I have no reason to fear their variation of them because I could probably get out of them too! And I recently had to help someone escape an abusive ex so we already have a willing test subject!”
Just him justifying his projects as they get closer and closer to things his parents would have come up with, without noticing or acknowledging that that was what was happening.
The earth shattering revelation when he’s sitting on the ground recovering from an experiment on how to grow back to how he was before the curse, because he had no other lab rat to test it on, and slowly realizing that he’s acting like his parents.
That his fellow Arcobaleno aren’t just distrustful of him and his experiments because he is a stranger to them but that they slightly fear him.
The realization that they only come to him when desperate for an answer. Figuring out that he knows the least about the others not because he is busy but because they do not fully trust him enough to stay around him long enough to give him that information….
Verde, who used to spend countless nights protecting people so much it became an obsession before the accident and his core turned to discovery and the stars, isn’t sure how to fix this.
He gathers the Arcobaleno after making sure the cure works, sits through a meeting full of suspicion he had to talk his way through, slides the case holding the cure into the table and leaves for his labs. The labs he needs to throughly clean and bleach and sort through to make sure all his projects aren’t as bad as they were before, but at this point he had no clue what is supposed to be morally correct to him at this point.
The Arcobaleno are left confused. Verde was doing his mad scientist shit with the cure but he was acting…weird. Weirder than normal, he didn’t demand anything for the cure, nor did he stay to monitor the effects for *science* like he always did for projects like this. He was acting weird enough Skull even went to the lab they knew he was in and tried to talk to him. They were fully expecting him to get pulled into an experiment but Verde just yelled at him to go away.
He sounded panicked. What the fuck was going on with their resident scientist.
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dw19791967 · 10 months ago
Text
That Type of Girl Part 3
Pairing: Dean x reader (Eventual), Sam x reader (Platonic)
Warnings: language, unrequited love, angst, mentions of torture, mentions of self-hate.
This is the third fic I have ever written, all mistakes are my own. Please be gentle on me!
______________________________
What does one wear to church? I wouldn’t know since I never really went as a kid and as an adult well, once you know who God really is, it can be hard to get past that. 
I decided on a long oversized maroon sweater, black leggings, and boots. I never really was a heels girl. Sure, I could handle a wedge or boots with a chunky heel, but I definitely wasn’t the type to wear six inch heels. I decided to leave my hair in its natural state, but I did twist my bangs together and pinned them back. I can’t braid, no matter how many times I have tried to learn. So twisting two pieces together is my go to, especially to get hair out of my face. I applied my regular makeup routine. I do it for me, not to impress people. I may be overweight and unappealing in other aspects but my makeup is something I am proud of. Years of practice have helped make it easy, and quick.
I walked out of the bathroom ready to go. “Alright boys, let’s do this.”
__________________
When we arrived at the church not a ton people were there. There was a small group gathered. A few women, they seemed to be in their late 20’s and a couple of men who seemed to be around the same age.
“Ok Y/N you ready? Remember, Dean and I will be here if you need us. We are going to try to scope the place out a bit” Sam looked at me. I am glad he was confident in my people skills, cause right now I am not. I do fine talking with people I know and even strangers. But the pressure of trying to force a conversation can be a struggle sometimes. And since Dean didn’t seem too confident in my skills earlier, I have been dreading this. How is it that the man who is supposedly my best friend, doesn’t believe I am capable of doing something I have done a hundred times before. 
“I guess.” I started heading towards the group of people.
__________________
We just arrived back at the motel. Sam sat down next to me “Well we found nothing, we checked all over the place. Nothing suspicious, no sulfur or EMF.” 
“Yeah and all the single chicks were a bust too.” Dean smiled.
Of course he would be worried about chasing tail.
I sighed. “Ok, I talked to a group of people at the church. They mentioned a guy Sarah worked with, his name was Ryan not sure on last name (Sarah was the most recent victim). They also mentioned Sarah had a crush on a dude at the church, Marshall. And last one, she had talked to Rick quite a bit at the church. One of the ladies said Rick has just been in town the last 2 weeks. Something seems off with Rick, but I’m not really sure what.” I looked over the case files again. I always like to make sure I am not missing anything.
“Well since we are at a stand still, I say it’s time to hit the bar. We need a break from researching and thinking.” Dean stood up.
“Maybe you're right, we can take a break and come back to it later.” Sam looked at me. “What do you say Y/N?”
“I think I’m going to stay here, try to figure out what is happening. Something is wrong in this whole equation.” I kept reading the files. I am also not in the mood to see Dean flirt tonight. But I will keep that thought to myself.
“Well party pooper, call if you need us.” Dean patted my shoulder. 
Maybe a break from the boys will do me some good.
I had just changed into a t-shirt and took my makeup off when there was a knock at the door. I figured one of the boys was back and forgot their key.
“I swear you guys can’t survive without me.” I headed for the door.
I cracked the door open. Rick. What the hell is he doing here?
“Hi Y/N, I hope you don’t mind me stopping by. I just wanted to check on you and see if you maybe needed anything.” He rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous tick maybe.
“Um, I appreciate that. How did you know I was here?” This is weird for sure.
“Oh my aunt owns this motel, so I checked with her and she said you were here. She also mentioned you had two guys with you. Are you going to let me in?” He smiled at me.
“Uh, I guess.” I grabbed my knife and stuck it in the back of my leggings. A girl can never be too safe.
“So who are the guys here with you, brothers?” Rick made his way into the room.
“No, just friends. They came to be supportive. Can I get you a beer or water?” I had told the group of people at the church I was a cousin of Sarah’s, since she had no family in town it was an easy lie.
“I’ll have a beer, thanks.” I handed him the drink. “So where are your friends?”
“Out, they should be back shortly.” I was getting nervous. Something was not right here. 
“Oh I doubt that Y/N. You know Dean always enjoys working on his night moves.” Rick's eyes flashed black. Next thing I know everything went black.
Oh I am so screwed.
_______________
“Wakey, wakey sunshine. God, I can’t believe how stupid you are for a hunter. Who the hell lets someone they barely know into their hotel room?" Rick poked at me.
We were in an abandoned warehouse. I was cuffed to a chair. This wasn’t exactly how I planned on my night going.
“Well, what can I say? I’m prone to making stupid decisions. So why don’t we just cut the foreplay. What do you want? ” I smiled.
Whack. Damn. I almost had forgotten what it was like to get the shit knocked out of me.
“You know, all of the women I took. There was nothing exciting about them. I mean they wonder why they are single. Maybe it’s because they are so damn boring. But you, I mean besides being overweight and homely, there's a certain spark to you. And once I found out you were a hunter, well you had to be my next victim.” He smoothed my hair out.
“So are you doing this for shits and giggles or is there a bigger agenda you are playing into?” He made his way over to a table and brought back a knife. Great.
“Oh sweet Y/N, of course I am doing this for me. You see, I have played by all the rules and followed the main man's plan. But it’s time for me to shine and this is just the beginning. So whatcha say, are you ready to have some fun?” Rick started to slice into my arm.
Lucky for me, I have a high pain tolerance.
“You see, you were an easy target. Your self esteem is so low. Plus can’t forget your little crush on the elder Winchester. What makes you think he would ever look at you twice?” Rick now started slicing my thighs. “I mean you have a pretty face for sure, but you know Dean prefers his women slim. You will never be that type of girl ya know?”
“Screw you. You don’t know the first thing about me. I mean you do realize anything you say to me, I have either heard or said it to myself a thousand times before? Way to be creative.” I laughed. I have always been stubborn. I’m sure as hell not going to stop now.
“You know, you are really starting to get on my nerves. How about I find a way to shut that pretty mouth up. I doubt the Winchesters would even miss your annoying ass.” Rick punched me in the face.
I spit blood out of my mouth. I hope he gets this over with soon.
Tag List:
@hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog
@deanspinsterwitchs-readinglist
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hellverse · 11 months ago
Text
wrote a little thing (emphasis on little) about dean trying to provoke cas and cas being, well, a little slow about it. check it out on ao3 or below the cut if you wanna, xo
Dean was bored. So. Very. Bored. He was convinced that if there was anything left to learn, they would have learnt it by now. Sam had already clocked himself out about an hour or so ago, which in his mind, served as a pretty good sign that they could be done for the night. They could just continue this tomorrow. Or later. Or simply at any other time but now. Because right now, Dean just wanted to drag Cas to their bedroom, and certainly not for sleeping purposes. It wasn't like he was touch starved, the two of them spent plenty of time passing up on some good night sleeps, trading them for early morning coffees and midday naps. But sometimes, Cas would get into one of those stubborn, help-the-world moods, where nothing else seemed to register. One could call it dedication, Dean, however, liked to think of it as the evil reverse viagra he had to defeat. 
And of course, as Dean’s luck would have it, they had been stuck in a bit of a loop recently. Although he was pretty sure Sam could handle it on his own, if he wanted, or passed it on to someone else, he and Cas were insistent on helping. At the end of the day, Dean knew he would’ve made the same decision, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. He felt somewhat normal for the first time in, well, a while, and wanted to stay in their little bubble just a little longer. Sue him. But...duty calls. 
Dean was sitting with his legs stretched, crossed at the ankles, staring at the ceiling, when he turned his head to take a peek at Cas. The angel was burning holes into some book, concentrating at such a level he almost looked like a statue - an immortalised bookworm. Cute. Hot, even. There was something about the way his face looked, how serious he was, how his brows were just a little furrowed, and how the line between them was starting to show itself. It certainly reminded me of Dean of something. 
“Cas," no answer, "Cas!” 
The angel lifted his head in Dean’s direction, keeping his eyes on the book for five seconds longer before eventually looking at him. Cas smiled, something small and sweet dancing at the corners of his mouth. It was making Dean even more antsy, just thinking about how different his smile could be if he were to just- 
“Did you want something?” Cas interrupted before he could even finish his thought. 
“Uh, yeah, yeah, I did. Um, are you gonna be, uh, done soon?” 
"You can go to bed if you're tired, Dean, I don't mind staying here on my own," he said almost matter-of-factly. 
If only that were the issue , Dean thought to himself. Admittedly, he could just tell Cas what he wants, it's not like the angel couldn't return to this later, after all, he's not the one who needs sleep. The issue, however, would be that Dean wouldn’t want him to leave. He never does. And although they haven’t ever discussed it, he has a feeling that Cas doesn’t like it either. Call it a hunch. 
As much as Dean couldn’t focus on the research, he also knew, believed really, that he had enough brain power left in him to come up with a plan. Okay, maybe less plan, more technique of how to turn Cas away from reading and more to, well, him. 
While the wheels were turning in his head, he must've been staring at Cas pretty intensely, as his blue eyes suddenly left the page again, locking with Dean's own. He could see the other glance down for just a second, where his thumb was resting on his lower lip, before speaking. 
"Is everything okay?" 
"Yeah, I'm wonderful," Dean quickly answered, smiling, purposefully dragging the thumb across his lip. 
Cas stared at him for a second, wheels of his own probably spinning in that pretty head of his. Eventually, however, much to Dean's dislike, he turned back to the book. 
The thing about Cas was that he could be a little...unaware sometimes. Especially when his mind was focused on something else. And what is there for Dean to do, if not have a little fun with it? He wasn't opposed to some light teasing, provoking, especially when he could watch Cas slowly get the point of what Dean was suggesting, watch the little light bulb go off behind his eyes. 
Even with the anticipation buzzing all the way down to his fingertips, Dean wanted to make sure he would see this through. It was already past midnight, but he was sure coffee could only do some good, considering the plans he had. And besides, Cas could have some too. Not that he needed it, of course, but it had become something of a habit for the angel. 
"I'm gonna go fetch some coffee, do you want some, sweetheart?" Dean let his voice go sweet, putting a certain weight behind the pet name. They weren't exactly big on those, but when the moment calls...
Cas stared at him again, head slightly titled. Dean couldn't quite tell if he was getting suspicious or just a little ticked off by all the interruptions. 
"Sure, I'll take some if you're going."
Dean beamed at him, as he got up from his chair. Before going to the kitchen, however, he decided to see exactly what Cas was reading. And by 'see', he really meant lean down and pretend like he had a reason as to why he's gone over to Cas' side of the table before getting the coffee. Dean positioned himself on the left of the angel, resting the palm of his hand on the table, and putting the other hand on Cas' back, lightly drawing circles on the skin with his middle finger, right above where his shirt that Cas was wearing began. 
"Which book is this?" Dean asked, slightly turning his head in Cas' direction, but not looking at him. 
"The, um, it's about-"
"No," he chuckled, "I mean the number, how many have you read?" 
"Oh," Cas smiled, "I think this must be my fifth if I'm remembering correctly."
"Ah, well, haven't you just been such a hard worker today?" he placed a quick kiss on Cas' temple, before finally making his way to the kitchen. 
"Such hard work should be followed by a good reward," Dean whispered to himself. 
When he returned with the two coffees, Cas was still in the same position. Figures. He shuffled towards him, placing both of the mugs closer to the middle of the table, so as not to disturb the books placed in a half circle around the angel. 
"Hey," Dean muttered quietly, letting Cas know he was back, just in case he was too focused and didn't hear him come back. 
"Hi, Dean, thank you," he smiled.
It was moments like these, where it was just the two of them, the world quiet and calm like a field covered in snow, no wind and no footsteps, that convinced Dean he would never not feel the way he does now. Even before the confessions and first kisses, there was something about the way Cas would smile at him. It always went hand in hand with a pinch between his ribs, somewhat painful and warm. He kind of expected it to change, now that he knew the other felt the same, now that he had stopped telling himself it would never happen, now that the two of them were different. And yet it hadn't, not really. It knocks something in him loose every time, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't glad. 
Cas put his book down, interrupting Dean's thoughts once again, presumably to take a sip of his coffee, and Dean simply couldn't pass up that chance. He leant down, gently placing his hands on either side of the angel's face, and kissed him. The immediate jolt at the base of his spine served as a great reminder of what he was after. Cas kissed him back with no hesitation, something lazy and content in the way his lips were moving against Dean's own. That alone was enough for him to rethink his ways, thoughts of just grabbing Cas by the hand and dragging him to their bedroom flooding his mind. But again, where was the fun in that? More than anything, he was craving to see that light bulb moment, when Cas' eyes turned a darker shade of blue, knowing that the buzz in their stomachs and fingers matched each others. 
Dean decided to stay set in his ways, but that didn't mean his self-control was intact. He deepened the kiss, urgency colouring his own quiet sounds, tongue brushing against Cas' lower lip. He could feel one of the angel's hands, the one resting on his waist, softly grabbing at his shirt. 
He ended the kiss with a sharp inhale, eyes closed for a second longer, til the ground beneath his feet felt solid again. 
"Dean.." the rasp in Cas' voice almost made Dean lose his footing again. A beat of silence covered the room, letting Dean focus on the pulsating feeling in his cheeks. 
"What was that for?" Cas looked serious but only in a confused, have-I-missed-something kind of way. It took Dean everything he had not to jump him again. Instead, he just flashed a quick grin at Cas and winked. 
"Nothin', blue eyes, 's just because," he said, giving Cas one last peck on the lips.
He could feel Cas' eyes follow him, as he walked back to his side of the table, right across from Cas. When he looked up, he could see the slight twitch in the angel's eyebrow. For a celestial being, especially one that has seen a lot of what the world has to offer, he really couldn't be any more oblivious sometimes. 
Dean sat back in his chair, the warm coffee cup in his hands matching the warmth in the pit of his stomach. Cas was back to reading again, though Dean could tell he was a little more fidgety than before. He smiled to himself, as he lifted the cup to his lips. He could pretend he was reading, but even that seemed like too much work. After all, he was more than happy to just watch Cas. With the angel already slightly on edge, it was only a matter of time before he was glancing up at Dean every few minutes. 
"Dean...," Cas finally broke after about 30 minutes.
"What?" Dean answered, playing it up just a little bit to sound offended. 
"Why are you staring?"
"Can I not look at my very handsome boyfriend?" he smiled. If there was a gun to his head, he'd have to admit he even fluttered his eyelashes a little.  
The term 'boyfriend', similar to pet names, wasn't something that the pair used very often, but sometimes, well, there was just no way getting past it. Dean didn't necessarily mind the word, just needed some time to get used to it, he thought. 
He could see the slight blush forming in Cas' cheeks. The angel lowered his head, about to return to his task, before looking back up at Dean through his eyebrows for a split second. A look nearly bordering on 'knock it off', but not quite. 
The glances continued, almost like Cas was trying to catch him in the act, like something he did would give away whatever it was that he was thinking. Dean, of course, only saw that as an opportunity to continue his little show. 
By this point he had already finished his coffee, the ring finger of his right hand sliding in circles around the rim of the cup. It wasn't exactly a conscious action, not until he saw Cas glance at his hand. After that, he made it a point to look Cas up and down the next time his eyes wandered back to Dean. The angel only squinted at him.
He had noticed Cas finish off his own coffee not too long ago, so after a few minutes of pretend daydreaming, he got up, hand under his shirt, the palm of his hand resting on his ribs. This time around it wasn't so unintentional, his shirt pulling up slightly, exposing the skin. If Cas could burn holes in him, he was sure he'd be all burnt up by now. But who was he to complain? 
He slowly made his way to the kitchen for a second time, washing up the cups, and sorting out a few other things while he was there. It was nearing 4 am, and as entertaining as it had been, Dean was ready to actually get things going. 
He walked back into the library with a purpose, heading straight to Cas. The angel didn't even have time to blink before Dean was already in front of him, arm stretched out as if he was asking him to dance. Cas put his hand in Dean's, suspicion in his eyes almost completely masked by the gentle amusement. 
Dean barely waited for him to get on his feet before grabbing Cas by the waist with one hand and dragging him closer. Cas just smiled, head tilted to the left ever so slightly.  Good , Dean thought,  better access . 
"I think you should be done now," Dean muttered before scattering light kisses on Cas' neck. 
"Oh, should I?" the angel said, amusement now clear in his voice, Dean humming against his neck.
Dean lifted his head only to give Cas a look that in his head couldn't have looked anything short of hungry. That must've finally filled the missing gap in the angel's mind, as Cas' face finally mirrored the expression that Dean had been thinking about for hours now. The split second of surprise bled into understanding, and his eyes darkened. Maybe it wasn't so much a light bulb going off, as it was a light bulb exploding.
"Oh," Cas whispered.
"Oh," Dean echoed, teasing, whilst it was still his turn. 
"I think you might be right," Cas said, as he stepped forward, hand resting on Dean's chest, softly pushing him back, "I've done enough work for today."
Dean let the angel guide him until he felt his back hit the pillar, the coldness of it seeping through his shirt, a nice distraction from the heat of his own body. Though that didn't last long, as Cas pressed against him, hands sneaking under his shirt, much like Dean himself had done earlier. Cas slid his hand up and down Dean's sides, his fingertips occasionally sinking into Dean's skin. 
He launched forward, only to have Cas swiftly pull back like he was already expecting it. As soon as Dean let his head fall back, resting against the pillar, Cas leaned closer to him again, lips almost touching and whispered:
"I understand you've had your fun, but what about me?" voice sweet, smiling, moving further back and then closer again in waves. 
"Cas..." Dean breathed just as quietly, his throat dry, "Cas, once we get to the bedroom you can have all the fun you want."
"Oh," Cas immediately pulled back, "well, if you say so, Dean." 
As soon as the sentence left Cas' lips, Dean knew. He knew that Cas wouldn't let up until Dean was bordering on incoherent, and, oh, he just couldn't wait. 
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starplusfourletters · 11 months ago
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I read vision of the future (hand of thrawn book 2 aka Who Scams the Scammers)
(spoilers) and once again it turned into a liveblog, apologies
Hold up are we doing Warrior Cats? Is this Warrior Cats Planet??
What base is “arm around your waist to serve as a psychic translator conduit”
Omigod I WISH my Warrior Cat name were “Jaded of Mara”
Everything I know about Soontir Fel I learned from x wing but I would not have guessed his primary motivation to be "dirt"
@ luke and mara: the girls are talkingggggg
North Barris Spaceport has me twitching
Ghent not remembering who the president is and just assuming it’s probably Leia. I mean fair
What base is "holding hands to brace yourselves over a swarm of flesh eating insects"
So we’re finally asking why Mara ISN’T actually dark side and the answer is… shrug emoji?
Man Zahn really is stuck on “character bonding hike” as a device huh. But consider I eat that shit up
Oh No Lando is racist
LMAO at “so oblivious you need a child pterodactyl to tell you to just kiss already” to “besides I don’t want my life to be like spiderman three I hated that movie” to “kissing with dubious consent” ALL ON THE SAME PAGE like Zahn finally realized he really needed to get this show on the road
LMAO at Ghent getting a free pass from Pellaeon to hack the empire. Like you’re just going to get the thing you need and not steal all of our military and political secrets right? Riiiight? Even more LMAO at the fact that that would probably not even occur to Ghent
When everyone assumes they're the protagonist so finding this one macguffin is their job personally. Like guys I like the energy but maybe we've got enough different plans to do the same thing (the exception, hilariously, being Luke) (and Oh No it turns out Luke is the one to find the macguffin because You Have to Follow Your Heart and Let the MacGuffin Come to You. I eat that shit up also)
Mara’s just... So great.
Not to make everything about my blorbo but absolutely to make everything about my blorbo I do wonder to what extent Ahsoka’s characterization post-Rebels doesn’t click for me is because a lot of the more obvious directions for Oldsoka overlap with Mara, and the powers that be didn’t want to reinvent the Mara Jade wheel. Not to say they have similar characterization – Mara has terminal sam coded dean girl syndrome – but idk, in dynamic range maybe? Calling out bullshit, weaponizing her own abrasiveness, covering insecurity with humor, being Kind of a Lot with a side of trust issues at any given moment – there are modes Mara and Youngsoka share that didn’t pass to Oldsoka apparently. Idk possibly all this is just me wanting them to TALK
Establishing that you can do evil things for selfless reasons without necessarily being in any danger of falling to the dark side is... Philosophically interesting
We interrupt this tale of political espionage to bring you Jedi Relationship Counseling (spoiler alert: communication is key)
"That part of her life [Mara’s time with Palpatine] had died unmourned" I mean mourned a little bit. Mourned for at least a book and a half
I've been willing to suspend my disbelief on everything in this book until "both Luke and Mara forget that ysalamiri exist"
I will never not be a sucker for The Movements and Transferred Ownership of Emotionally Significant Weapons
Oh No thrawn made a second foundation
The Aing-Tii seem OP but whatever
Oh No the second foundation forgot to close the garage doors
(Re: The Jade’s Fire) I know Mara’s having a Moment, and I promise I’m taking it seriously, but when the warrior cat asked “What is it you want, Mara Jade” my WHOLE BRAIN responded with "I want Hermione Granger! And a rocket ship!"
Moranda has real Kevin from home alone energy and I'm living for it
Is it bad that I’m actually kinda happy the Imperials’ Bothawui shield plan worked? Like, they had a really interesting plan and I’m happy for them. They earned it
WAIT IS MORANDA DEAD FR?
What base is “full mind meld while you’re fighting for your lives”
Who would win: ~1.5 Jedi, 2 sentinel droids droidekas, or Artoo with a sauntering gun
If I had a nickel for every time this duology explicitly established Jedi can’t go completely without oxygen, even when in a trance, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but which makes me feel like the Ahsoka show had a weirdly specific axe to grind with the source material
Luke’s proposal to Mara is Just. The. Funniest. Thing. That’s some Anakin-level cringe and the prequels aren’t even out yet. He truly is his father’s son.
I mean POV there’s this guy and for a couple years you want to kill him, and then you realize that’s more of a You Problem, so then you’re friendquaitances for a decade mostly because you don’t approve of the shit he’s getting into, and then you have one (1) honest conversation and get caught in a death trap and he’s like “so I think the next step for us is marriage”
LEIAAAAAA! Full Jedi Knight Leia is both terrifying and hot. I would run.
“So it is treason” – Some random guy
Lando needs to be on the New Republic payroll simply for being willing to speak to any of the other characters and also he needs a raise. This poor guy getting called on to command the entire New Republic fleet mid-battle and he’s like “I’ve been a civilian for 15 years and also I knew you would pull some horse piss like this steve”
Mara Jade, Imperial protege. Skills include: Identifying load-bearing walls. (Now all I want is Property Brothers: Sith Edition)
Mara please. Luke please. These absolute idiots. This is some pear scene shit. I hope nothing bad happens to them ever
The whole back half of this book has been an emotional rollercoaster for me specifically because I wanted Flim to be Thrawn FR soooooo baddddd. And now I’m sad. His name literally means scam don’t do this to me Zahn
I’ve been amused by all the Star Wars universe idioms but I gotta take a moment to specifically showcase “burned your sky-arches.” Karrde is a delight to have in class
Having an independent intelligence agency that’s supposed to work for both the New Republic and the Empire seems absolutely unhinged but go off I guess
When the New Republic and Empire sign peace accords and Luke can’t even be bothered to show up
Mara is great and her arc is fuckin hilarious to me. The narrative has identified her as The Damaged One and I’m like???? She came to terms with her troubled past, drew her own boundaries regarding the Dark Side, recognized that there are people who care about her instead of pre-emptively pushing them away, and resolved to form deeper emotional connections. Smash cut to ROTS Anakin whose physical and psychic damage has literally turned his brain into oatmeal
Again I know this was before the prequels Mad points for explicitly saying Mara needed to form attachments to become a Jedi. Zahn being pretty gangsta there
OH NO THEMB
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velvet4510 · 10 months ago
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The Gaffer is an interesting character to me. His few scenes definitely show us that he is a gruff kind of guy who never shies away from making his opinion known among the gossips. Though he’s illiterate, he’s not stupid at all, and is actually very intelligent when it comes to all things gardening. But he also has very polite manners toward the gentry and is more than humble enough to “know his place” and be content with the simple working class life. He doesn’t share Sam’s passion for Elves and for learning in general. He’s perfectly fine with his lot in life and has no aspirations. It’s clear that Sam’s modesty, resourcefulness, and grounded sense are all inherited from the Gaffer.
Yet I’ve seen the Gaffer get a bit of hate amongst the fandom. Some dislike how he apparently calls Sam names like “ninnyhammer,” and some fanfics have taken this and ran with it to the point of depicting the Gaffer as a straight-up abusive father. Which…absolutely does not gel with Tolkien’s portrait of him at all.
It seems to me that the Gaffer is actually similar to Gandalf in his demeanor. When frustrated or exasperated, he calls people names, but in an affectionate way. And Sam obviously adores his dad, constantly worrying about his wellbeing back home. It’s clear they have a close and good relationship. Sam just does not seem or feel like an abused child. Maybe overly humbled, yes - the Quest does give him a much-needed boost in self-esteem - but not abused. Sam doesn’t have an abusive or unkind bone in his body; I really don’t think he would be as benign as he is, if he grew up with as cruel a role model as many seem to assume the Gaffer is.
Especially since Sam’s mom is clearly no longer around, and his older siblings seem to have all moved out, since Sam and his dad are the only ones who live in 3 Bagshot Row. So they seem similar to Bilbo and Frodo in that it’s been the 2 of them for a while, they have their own little lifestyle system that works for them, and they look after each other.
Notice in particular how the Gaffer often calls his son “my Sam,” which to me indicates he has great affection and pride for Sam. He even seems like he has that parental mindset of remembering and always seeing his son as his little boy, even when his son is all grown up.
The Gaffer also gives off the vibe of somebody who is actually much more open-minded than he claims to be. Yes, he’s a traditionalist and doesn’t like the idea of leaving home for anything. But notice how he fervently defends Bilbo and Frodo in front of the gossips. He’s not among those who disapprove of the Bagginses or call them “mad.” He’s very fond of them and will not speak ill of them. He appreciates how kind they are to him, and doesn’t see any harm in their unusual interests. And while he does drill an absolute sense of humbleness into Sam by saying things like “don’t get mixed up with your betters,” he actually doesn’t seem to mind that Bilbo taught Sam to read and write, even though Sam wasn’t “supposed” to be literate given his place in society. I feel like while he is set in his ways, he is also able to notice and acknowledge when something unusual has its benefits.
And let’s never forget that the Gaffer is also brave! He literally lies to a Nazgûl’s face to protect Frodo, claiming Frodo had already left when he hadn’t. Even if he didn’t know Frodo hadn’t left yet, it’s still clear he has no intention of selling Frodo out to this creepy guy. When push comes to shove, the Gaffer has some admirable courage inside him…another quality of his that Sam inherited.
I also feel great sympathy for him when I consider what that year must’ve been like for him. Imagine your son disappearing without a trace for 14 straight months, right after some creepy cloaked guy comes asking for your son’s boss. How terrified must that poor guy have been! It’s not much of a stretch to assume he was worried about Sam every single day, wondering if he was safe, if he’d ever see him again. How much sleep must he have lost because of his fears.
And of course, Sam names his fourth son after him. Another indicator that they had a genuinely good and loving relationship.
I really like the Gaffer and will always defend him. Let’s give him some credit. He’s a good guy. We primarily have him to thank, anyway, for raising Sam to be the amazing person he is.
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ursulanoodles · 2 years ago
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Shane Headcanons pt. 2
Lets Jas name all of the chickens, even if they end up with ridiculous names
Spends a good portion of his time at work hiding behind pallets of backstock browsing and posting in r/chickens. He knows Morris’ schedule and where all of the cameras are, so he never worries about getting caught. However, he puts in a fair amount of work and can throw truck like no one’s business so it never looks like he’s slacking even when he is.
Has an infectious laugh that makes other people smile when they hear it.
If he had to choose one superpower it would be invisibility.
He didn’t know how to cook when he moved to Pelican Town, but Marnie is gradually teaching him on the weekends or whenever they both have time. He doesn’t cook often because he’s still unsure of himself, but when he puts his mind to it, he’s a pretty okay home cook. The first thing he learned how to make was pepper poppers and he’s so confident about his recipe now that he hands it off to the farmer or whoever asks. If he’s forced to bring a dish to a function, it’s always pepper poppers.
Sometimes inappropriate, but overall hilarious. He has a weird and dark sense of humor and makes jokes about his trauma, but he also loves a good dad joke.
He wouldn’t normally tell anyone that he’d stolen something from work, but he sees that the farmer is struggling when they first move in and gives them the pizzas because he knows how hard it is to start over in a new town.
He only shows up to the festivals for the free food or because Jas begs him to. The only exceptions are the Egg Festival and the Stardew Valley Fair, which he attends because he loves Marnie’s animals. If it were up to him, he would avoid the Flower Dance completely, but Emily coerced him into it and he has a soft spot for her because she’s the only one in town who treats him like a person besides Sam.
Doesn’t believe in ghosts, but thinks cryptids are plausible.
Enjoys reading bedtime stories to Jas and making blanket forts.
Likes to bird-watch, especially on his walk to work every morning.
Sleeps with socks on
Swears like a sailor, though he tries his best not to do it around Jas. However, after the millionth time he slips up, he gives up censoring himself and teaches her not to repeat the words in public or around Marnie, and makes a deal that she’s allowed to start swearing on her 13th birthday.
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chouxsardine · 1 year ago
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Love is a four-legged word--Sam Kiszka x reader
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Summary: Love comes in all forms, it is, afterall, a four-legged word--Sam and y/n met at a park while walking their dogs. The furry friends are their best wingman.
Pairing: Sam Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 7418
Warnings: dogs, description of crying, allusion to death of pet, death of animals, mention of the name of alcohol (but no alcohol involved) (please let me know if I missed any!)
Genre: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort
Author's note: This is my longest piece so far and my first Sam piece (yipee!! exciting!) This was a Christmas gift to I want to @dannythedog thank her for hosting the gvf secret santa. But as late as it was… I hope it can still count as a New Year's gift? This took so long to write and I myself went through a pretty emotional journey while writing this. I have more to say, but I will save for the end if you care to read it. Enjoy for now.
“Come on, Rosie bug, it’s time for your walk.” Sam stood up from the sofa, raising his arm for a stretch.
Being the good girl that she is, Rosie was already waiting patiently at the door, sitting still while Sam put the harness and leash on her.
It was a sunny afternoon, warm and cloudless after consecutive days of rain. Taking advantage of the delightful weather, Sam decided to extend their daily walk and take Rose to the park. He has always loved this park. There’s just something so intimate about this public space that always draws him towards it. It is situated a few blocks away from downtown, a beautiful getaway from the hurly burly of the city. It has a large lawn area that turns into the most pleasant shade of green in April, around his birthday. The colour so lovely that it gives him the urge to touch the grass, hug a tree, and nuzzle his face into nature. It is also the best place to people-watch—college lovebirds, laughing toddlers, family picnics—it is like being in one of Georges Seurat’s paintings.
It seems that many people think the same way as Sam. The park was busier than usual. The duo took their familiar route, following the gravel path to the fountain where the running tracks start. They would take a break on the bench where Rose can enjoy some treats.
Sam has done a good job socializing Rose due to the need for frequently traveling on the road. Rose is a curious girl and is open to making new friends, but she always listens to Sam. When other dogs pass by either barking over-excitedly or stopping to exchange friendly sniffs, Rose generally remains unfazed. She knows that remaining her composure and staying close to Sam is going to warrant some loving pets and yummy treats. Therefore, when a black and white Pit Bull trotted up to Rose, Sam didn’t pay too much attention. The dogs are all on leashes in this area. If any of them stop for a little longer, Sam will usually exchange a friendly smile with the owner, then each side will go about their own business. However, Rose seemed to be especially interested in this new friend. She stood up and started wagging her tail softly, gently bumping nose with her newfound friend, learning their smell and demeanour. That’s when Sam noticed that this dog looked a little special. Instead of the common collar, it was wearing a blue bandana with the word “adopt” printed on the corner. Sam followed the leash and looked all the way up. He saw a pretty girl looking down at the two dogs interacting with a mesmerizing smile.
Sensing his gaze, the girl quickly looked up.
“Oh hi, so sorry about this. Klaus is a shelter dog; he doesn’t get to interact with other dogs a lot, so he got a bit excited.” She said apologetically.
Ah, so that explains the bandana.
Now it seemed that Klaus took an interest in Sam as well. Considering his lack of socialization, Sam thinks Klaus is doing exceptionally well. He was sniffing Sam’s jeans, nudging his ankles with his nose.
“No, no, don’t worry. I don’t mind.” Sam bent down and extended the back of his hand to Klaus. After receiving a lick and some kisses as signs of approval, he started scratching Klaus behind the ears. “I’m Sam, and this is Rose.”
“Nice to meet you, Sam. I’m y/n,” y/n said before crouching down. Rose immediately moved towards her and started pawing her hand.
One thing Sam loves the most about Rose is that she has good taste in people. Come on, this girl chose Sam to be her handler. (Sam has always believed that it is Rose who came to him, not the other way around.) And based on Rose’s reaction now, Sam would like to boldly assume that y/n is a decent person as well.
“Come on, Klaus, let’s go.” y/n gently tugged the leash, but she was completely ignored. The two dogs were already playing together, bowing and bouncing just like puppies.
“They can play for a bit,” Sam said. He loves seeing Rose Bud making friends. “If you are not in a rush, that is.”
“No, I’m not. Thank you so much,” y/n relented.
“So, Klaus is a shelter dog, you said?” Sam asked as he scooted over and let out more space on the bench for y/n to sit next to him.
“Yes, today is his Doggy Day Out,” y/n kindly explained. “People can sign up to take a shelter dog out for a ‘field trip’ for a day. It helps them manage kennel stress and increases their chances of getting adopted.”
The thoughtfulness of the idea makes Sam smile. He has heard about similar programs before, but this was his first time encountering an example in real life. “So you chose Klaus?”
“Yeah, Klaus is one of the longest residents at the shelter.” y/n cupped the dog’s adorable face in her hands and cooed. “I mean, look at his face, how could I say no? Besides, people often have a misunderstanding about Pit Bulls, you know, about them being aggressive and all; so it’s harder for them to get adopted.”
As absurd as it sounds, that is sadly the truth. Sam remembers seeing more than once those distasteful comments under Rose’s account.
“Indeed. Sometimes we truly don’t deserve dogs.” He said.
A comfortable silence draped over them, except it was quite loud in y/n’s mind and chest right now. Y/n had been stealing glances at the man next to her in between conversations the whole time and she hoped she wasn’t being too obvious. There was no denial that Sam is outright gorgeous. He was wearing a navy blue t-shirt underneath an unbuttoned black plaid shirt, black pants, and a pair of Nike blazers. But what attracted her the most was his hair, the hair that suddenly made her self-conscious about her own (which really needed to get washed today). Sam has dark brown hair the length to his shoulder. The loose curls look lush and smooth, shining under the sunlight, which makes it a lighter flax colour. The strands that frizzes away are delicate and golden, swaying along with his breathing. Y/n bet they are silky and soft to the touch too. Plus, he has really pretty hands, with the pink leash wrapped around his palm contrasting against his olive skin. Slim, bony fingers, with nails that are clean, round and well-trimmed. Those are hands well-kept.
Maybe there is a grain of truth to what people say about first impression after all, Sam thought. A girl with Rose’s approval, a nice smile, and a sensible and tasteful take on Pit Bulls (She also looks cute). Sam thinks he quite liked her.
“So, what are your plans for the day? I mean, for Klaus?” Sam quickly corrected himself to sound less snoopy.
“We haven’t left the shelter for long. I was planning on getting him a pup cup first.”
“Pup cup! What a coincidence, that’s exactly what Rose bug and I have in mind,” (Liar. He didn’t). Sam put on his best smile. “Mind if we join you?”
Their conversation carried on smoothly as they made their way to the nearby bakery. Sam found out that y/n volunteers at the local shelter and works as a freelance photographer and a part-time dog walker. Y/n learned that Sam is a bassist and keyboard player who is in a band with his brothers (“That explains the pretty fingers,” Y/n thought to herself).
The bakery is a hidden gem in the neighbourhood, with a walk-up window inlaid into the white brick wall. A blackboard with cursive chalk writing was propped up beside it, displaying the menu. A separate hand-drawn poster on the wall sayid “puppuccino available for furry friends” in brush lettering.
“Do you want anything? My treat,” Sam asked as they approached the queue. “Please say yes so I have an excuse to ask for your number just in case you want to return the favour sometime.”
A bold move? Yes. But he felt like taking chances today.
Y/n raised her eyebrows in slight surprise. Sam held her gaze, silently restating his point.
“Fine, if you insist.”
“I do insist.” Sam stepped aside as it was their turn to order and let y/n go first. “After you.”
That’s smooth. Real Smooth. Y/n thought. Almost as smooth as his hair.
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For the next few weeks, Sam and y/n has been talking on and off through text messages. Their chat history was mainly composed of Sam sending goofy dog videos and y/n replying with cute pictures she took of dogs at the shelter. Sometimes Sam spotted y/n holding multiple leashes, walking dogs on the sidewalk, and sometimes he went to the shelter under the excuse of dropping off donations just to see her. Occasionally, they would fix a date to meet at the park for a “puppy play date” when y/n took another dog on their Doggy Day Out. While the dogs rolled together or chased each other within their sight, they would sit on the bench with coffee cups in their hands and a box of cookies between them to share. Y/n found Sam to be a charming guy. She loves his brutal honesty and his humour with a witty tongue. He loves to hold her gaze while talking to her. At first, she hated it—the unrelenting stare from those captivating brown eyes makes her want to squirm in her seat—and Sam was never the first to break eye contact. But over time she had learnt to stare back nonchalantly, usually with a single raise of her eyebrow.
There was no lack of vocal banters as well, which usually embarks after one of them blurts out some controversial opinion. With some people, a debate over things like if pineapple belongs on pizza or should you pour milk before cereal can quickly lead to annoyances, but it’s different with Sam. Sam brings out the competitiveness in y/n just like she was back in her high school debate club. Backchat with Sam is fun; he makes one willing to takes all the steps—from gathering evidence to forming thesis statement—just to be rebutted by a single line of his ingenious comment; and y/n is not even mad about it. The cherry on top is that Sam always likes to push one step further by adding the flirtatious “What now, little mama, cat caught your tongue?”. She feels offended in the best possible way.
On the other hand, as composed as he seems to y/n, Sam feels that things always came out of his mouth without filters when he is with y/n. For example, he will never let go of that one time they argued about the right way to hang up toilet paper.
“It’s obviously under! Have you ever had times when you hang it over and it unrolls itself and you get this massive pile of toilet paper on the floor?”
“No, Sam, I have not. I’m pretty sure that’s because you got a bad roll or some mean spirit in your bathroom pulled it.”
“It’s a perfect roll, just out of the package!”
“Then it’s definitely some mean spirit. Burning some sage should fix it. Obviously, the correct way is over so that it doesn’t rub against the wall.”
“Bold of you to assume I have dirty walls!”
“How do I know? You probably do!”
“I will not stand any defamation to my name and my wall. You can only form such an opinion after you have checked it out!”
Y/n gave him an interesting look. Just before she could say something, Rose rushed back to their side, and for once, Sam was relieved that the debate withered away because as soon as those words left his mouth, he wanted to slap himself.
Why would you say that, you freaking idiot? What kind of activities should you be engaging in that will lead to a situation involving you showing her the cleanness of your bathroom wall, which unfortunately is, in fact, kind of gross and stained with flashed pee?
But fate is a fickle little thing. Little does Sam know, it was not long before they did end up in that situation, just not in the way as he has expected.
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Earlier that day, Sam has sent y/n a message asking if she wants to meet at the park the next day and received a brief message that reads, “Sorry, got caught up at the shelter”.
That is usually a bad sign because it means that there’s either a large intake or some kind of emergency. Y/n also ran a volunteer social media account, posting adorable pictures and short videos that she took of the dogs when she takes them out for a walk for temperament tests, adding visibility to help they find a loving home. Sam vaguely remembered y/n mentioning that they took in a puppy that was hit by a car. He secretly hoped it wasn’t any bad news. Sam debated between sending her a goofy dog meme with the caption “Take care” to lighten up the mood or asking further. He waited, but the three dots on the other side of the chat box never came up.
It was around nine in the evening when Sam received another text from y/n.
Y/n: Are you busy right now?
Sam: No, just chilling. What’s up?
Y/n: My car broke down.
The three dots are still blinking when Sam’s finger flew through the screen.
Sam: location?
Sam: I’ll be there.
Rose looked up confused from her spot on the couch, when Sam rushed to the foyer, one arm already in his jacket and stuffing his feet into shoes.
“Hold the fort, Rose bud!” He yelled before locking the door behind him.
Y/n’s car broke down not too far away from the shelter. Sam saw the tow truck and the roadside assistance as he drove near. Y/n was talking to the truck driver. From the distance, she looked so forlorn and lost under the jarring redness of warning lights. The size different between her and the heavyset man towering over her makes her looked like a puppy soaked in rain. Sam had never felt such a strong sense of protectiveness towards anyone. He wanted nothing more than to rush to her side and engulf her in a hug, if she would let him.
He almost drifted as he swerved his car into an empty parking space by the side of the road. He ran to y/n’s side.
“Okay, Miss. The insurance company will contact you for further details,” the roadside assistance worker nodded to y/n. “The truck will tow your car to the garage. Do you have a ride home?”
“Yes,” said Sam before y/n could answer.
The man gave him a knowing look before he said, “Good. Make sure you take all your valuable belongings in the car with you.”
Sam helped y/n put her stuff in the backseat of his car before opening the passenger side’s door for her. Sam had noticed that y/n’s body was stiff and tense the whole time when she was standing outside, and it remained so as she plopped down onto the seat.
“Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” Sam turned to her eagerly once he had situated himself.
As soon as the words left his lips, the dam broke loose. Y/n’s shoulder visibly relaxed as loud sobs ripped through her body. She tried to purse her lips and contain herself but tragically failed. For a minute, she couldn’t make a single syllable other than frantically shaking her head and shoving her hands to her mouth, trying to muffle her crying. Y/n’s whimper filled the car, mixed with the loud beeping alert and yelling outside as the truck towed y/n’s car away.
“Oh, y/n,” Sam felt like someone had stamped on his heart. “Can I give you a h—”
Without a word, y/n almost knocked herself into his arms. It was only when he was holding her that he realized how badly she was trembling. This is their first proper hug, far from how Sam has imagined it. He wrapped his arms around y/n’s frame, one hand hugging her shoulders to him and the other rubbing her hand in wide, gentle stripes, tucking her head under his chin. Y/n’s hand held onto Sam’s arm, fingers digging into his biceps like a drowning person holding onto a piece of driftwood. Sam was firstly relived that y/n was not physically hurt; and then there were the emotions, which they could deal with. Whatever made her this devastated, he was determined to turn it around and make it better.
They stayed like that for a while, bodies squishing together uncomfortably over the middle console, until Y/n finally started to calm down.
She pulled away from Sam’s hug. Sam immediately reached to the backseat for the tissue box, from which y/n took a handful of tissues and turned her head to the side to wipe her face.
“It…it was Huxley,” she was fighting to speak without breaking down again. “He’s g—gone.”
Upon hearing the name, Sam’s heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach. His former wish had fallen through after all. Huxley was the puppy that came to the shelter from a car accident. He was sent in by a Good Samaritan on Monday. From the photo y/n posted, Sam knew that he was a young Australian cattle dog. Sam thought he was out of danger as y/n updated the post on Tuesday, saying that there was a rescue willing to pull him.
Sam didn’t press on with further questions. He sat patiently, handing y/n more tissues as she needed and waited to piece together the story from snatches of her speech.
“They did an x-ray and found he has a fractured pelvis. A rescue tagged him…and he was supposed to l-leave the shelter today.”
“We thought he was f-fine until…until he suddenly deteriorated this a-afternoon. There was, um, internal bleeding and… the vet said, the in-injury was too serious to recover and, and s-suggested…”
It was taking all her strength for y/n to squeeze out the last few words: “…it…it was the kindest to..put him d-down.”
Y/n buried her face into her hands as she resorted to another burst of weeping. Her shoulders shuddered with every muffled sob. “He reminded me of Wendy…I couldn’t save n-neither of them!”
This was the first time Sam has heard about Wendy from y/n. He guessed that Windy used to belong to y/n. He had once saw a photo of y/n and a white puppy tucked in her wallet when she was paying for coffee. Y/n never talked about it and Sam never asked. He decided he was still going to be silent about it today. He wouldn’t want to force her to narrate whatever tragic event that had happened in the past again, knowing that she probably had already done it to herself over and over again in her brain upon seeing the loss of Huxley.
Sam mulled over his words. Platitudes like “you have already done your best” sounded superfluous. Y/n, and he believes that everyone at the shelter, did everything they could; but that doesn’t fix things, does it?
“Was he loved when he was gone?” Sam gently took y/n’s hand in his.
“I was too coward to stay until the last moment,” y/n looked at Sam through teary eyes, “and he couldn’t really stomach any food by then. But yes, we made sure he was surrounded by treats and toys.”
“Then that’s what matters,” Sam managed a smile and said softly. “Dogs are very grateful creatures, you know that. Now that Huxley has crossed the rainbow bridge, he must be thanking you for loving him to the end, to provide him with a warm bed so he didn’t have to go alone and scared on the side of some highway.”
Y/n’s was still hiding her face in her palms, with her elbows resting on her knees, but Sam recognized a trembling nod from her. Now he felt tears stinging in his own eyes. He rubbed the area between y/n’s shoulder blades and carefully opened his mouth: “Look, y/n. I don’t want to sound like I’m taking advantage of the situation. But I am really worried about leaving you alone for the night like this. Would you like to perhaps crash at my place for the night? Rosie can keep you company.”
“Let me take care of you.” Sam closed his eyes for a second before he added, “As a friend?”
To his relief, y/n nodded again before turning her head slightly to face him, revealing half of her face, all wrinkled with red marks and tear stains, her eyes bloodshot and glassy.
“Sorry for being a bother.” She whispered through quivering lips.
“Never. Never a bother, mama,” Sam’s heart clenched again, hard. He reached out and gently squeezed the back of y/n’s neck before starting the car. “I got you.”
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Y/n could hear Rosie’s claws clacking on the wooden floor before Sam turned the key in the lock. As he opened the door, they are welcomed by an excited Rosie, just as expected. Sam had taught Rosie well not to bolt towards guests or jump on them, so she was expressing her joy through a wagging tail that put her whole body into motion and repeated bowing; her pink tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth. The goofy gestures raised a chuckle out of y/n. The first smile that he had seen on her face all night.
Sam’s apartment is cozy and vibrant. It has rustic brick walls and exposed beams. A red oriental rug lies in the middle of the room in front of a light camel-coloured sofa. There are touches here and there where Sam lets his intrusive thoughts win—so a piece of decor that does not match the general style appears but ends up working nonetheless, such as the banana leaf wall paper that only covers one side of the wall. A long-neck floor lamp throws warm glow over half of the living room.
“Go sit, y/n. Make yourself at home. You want some tea?” Sam laid out a pair of slippers for her as he asked.
Y/n had half a heart to reject out of politeness but realized she was too tired to put on any facade, and it is unnecessary after all considering she had just bawled her eyes out before Sam. Her eyes were stinging from crying and her face must have looked like a mess now.
“Thank you. Can I borrow the bathroom, please?”
“Of course! It’s right there.” Sam pointed her the right door.
Closing the door behind her, y/n felt like her legs were about to gave out. She sat down on the closed toilet lid and closed her eyes, thoughts swarming in her mind. Now that the initial throbbing pain in her chest has subsided, she began interrogating herself. What was it that made her agree to stay here overnight? “Worry about leaving you alone”….You are used to being alone—heck, you have been for years. All the past experiences and rational judgements were reprimanding her in a motherly tone with a scowl, but her body was faithful to the ghostly touches and phantom breaths that he had left on her skin during their hug. She forgot when was the last time that she had received a hug that conveyed such empathy without blind assumption. She forgot when was the last time that she felt valid for her feeling sad and mourning. She forgot when was the last time that she was not forced to explain. Yet Sam came and reset the record for her.
Three gentle knocks on the door interrupted her thoughts.
“Yes?”
“I grabbed you a clean towel. I’m putting it on the handle, so just watch it when you open the door.” Sam’s voice came from the other side of the door.
Oh Sammy, Y/n thought to herself with a wry smile. The nickname naturally slips into her mind. This is not helping.
What it is about this man that makes you trust him enough to break down in front of him and then agree to stay at his place overnight? Was it because he was nice to dogs? Green flag. Nice hair and clean nails, perfect side profiled, chiseled like an Apollo statue? Green flag. Top tier banter and flirting? Beige flag (but has potential).
Her brain started hurting again. Her heart said fuck it, go wipe your face, drink tea, and pray that he’s not a patient serial killer three months in disguise who likes to collect dog memes. Y/n opened her eyes and the first thing she saw brought an untimely giggle out of her.
Toilet paper hanging from under? Red flag.
When y/n opened the bathroom door again, Sam was feeding Rose her dinner.
“There you are! Thought you fell in.” Sam looked up at her with a toothy grin.“Sorry,” he apologized for his joke before y/n even said anything. “I made you tea, I guess you haven’t eat yet? I can order takeout or whip something up real quick.”
“That’s very nice of you, Sam. But I really don’t think I can handle a meal right now. Tea will be just fine for me. Thank you.”
Y/n must have washed her face in the washroom. Now her face looked fresh, setting off her reddish nose which she rubbed a little too harshly. The bags under her swollen eyes made her looks droopy, much different from the energetic y/n under the sun in the park. She looked very….huggable.
Y/n took a sip from the mug Sam handed her. It’s lavender tea. She felt her nerves slowly stretched as the warm liquid slid into her stomach. Having finished her dinner, Rose wasted no time joining them on the sofa. She found the perfect spot between Sam and y/n, laying her head on her folded paws.
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?”
“Um-hmm,” y/n absent-mindedly hummed. “You take the pick.”
Absolutely nothing furry, nothing barking, nothing wagging its tail. Sam scrolled through the catalogue.
Y/n raised her eyebrows when she saw Sam finally settling on Vanderpump Rules.
“Surprised?”
“Surprised, amused, guilty as charged.” Y/n admitted.
“No way! Which season are you on?”
“Seven? I can’t remember much though.”
Sam couldn’t deny it, there’s just something about watching and becoming invested in other people’s cheating drama that gets you to forget about your own problems real fast, at least temporarily. When one of the girls made an especially spiteful comment and Sam got no reaction from y/n, he turned and saw her dozing off, her chin rested on her clavicle, one hand still resting on Rose’s back.
She’s bound to get a stiff neck sleeping that way. Sam gently pulled her shoulder to the side, resting her head on a cushion, and pulled the blanket over her. Other than making a few indistinguishable murmur, she didn’t stir; or if she did, she chose to relent to Sam’s touch. Now that her eyes were closed, she looked peaceful under the orange light of the lamp, one almost couldn’t tell she was crying so hard a few hours ago. Sam debated if he should carry her to the bedroom or at least wake her up, but in the end, he did neither. Instead, he sat down on the carpet, his side pressed against the sofa, putting his head on his elbow.
Whatever this is, it fels tranquil and nice. She is close and far, her silence remote and candid, still as a star*. It feels like love. He feels his heart heavy with love. She doesn’t know. Maybe she will, eventually. But not now. Now he just wants to have this moment, in case it is all he will ever have.
Y/n is woken up by the wetness of her face. “Rose, stop!” She managed to open her eyes under Rose’s kiss attack. She propped herself up on her elbow and saw Sam sitting on the floor next to her, still asleep. But that changed quickly as he became Rose’s next target. Did he just sleep all night like this? The light seeping through the curtains formed bright patters on the floor. Gosh, she must be really tired to sleep so soundly on the sofa.
“Morning.” Y/n pursed her lips, containing a chuckle as she met gaze with a hair-disheveled Sam, who was holding the side of his neck, grimacing.
Sam felt every single bone in his body crackling as he stood up. Actions have consequences.
The drive back to Y/n’s house was quiet. Y/n thanked him for letting her stay overnight, which he insisted that was no big deal. Then he cranked up the radio and let Stephen Stills take over.
“Thank—-”
“I swear, if you thank me again—-”
They almost said together as the car pulled up to a halt in front of y/n’s apartment.
Y/n smiled apologetically nonetheless.
“Hey, like I said, it’s really no big deal. It wasn’t so courteous of me not to offer you dinner and let you sleep on the couch anyway,” Sam said. “I am very sorry about what has happened. I hope you are feeling better now.”
Y/n chewed on her bottom lip and nodded. It was after several heartbeats that she said, “You know, your bathroom walls are dirty, Kiszka.”
Sam blinked and then barked out a laugh, throwing his hands in surrender. “Guilty as charged.”
“Call me if you need anything, yeah?” Sam watched as y/n unbuckled the seatbelt. He could tell that for a second, y/n was going to thank him again.
“I’m not guilt tripping you into this, but…the offer to co-dog walk always stands.”
“Sure. I’ll let you know.”
“Oh, and one more thing,” Y/n paused as she shut the door.
“Hug Rosie extra tight for me.” With that, she turned on her heels and walked away.
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It was three days later that they met again at the park. The weather was starting to get cold. Sam would always choose the vivifying spring days over fall, but he also appreciates some delicious crunching of the leaves as one walks.
“I can really tell the season is changing when the benches feel a bit cold under the tush.” Sam commented as he sat down next to y/n.
“Oh, do we have to get you padded pants then?”
“Seriously, do they make those?” Sam gasped in feigned surprise. “Anyways, how’s your car?”
“I got a call yesterday, it should be ready to pick up by Thursday,” Y/n said. She was chewing on the edge of her coffee cup. “I feel so stupid losing it like that the other day.”
“But you don’t have to, though. There’s nothing wrong about feeling things, and emotions don’t lie.”
“Yeah, I guess. But in the end it’s not about me, it’s about them. There’s always more dogs that need help and always more to do.”
“I know you said not to, but I really need to,” y/n said as she turned to Sam and threw her arms around him, catching him in surprise. “Thank you, Sammy.”
Sam couldn’t help but notice how nice it felt to have her nose buried in his shoulder. Talking about emotions don’t lie.
His hair smells nice too. And it is indeed so, so soft. Green flag.
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Somehow, they fell back into the old rhythm after that. Sam guessed that when people say woman in a dream, they must be referring to their phantasmagoric nature. With each day passing, he became more and more inclined to believe that what he thought he had was nothing more than wishful thinking and self-deception.
Christmas was approaching. Their brother’s lack of contribution to the holiday preparation did not go unnoticed by the twins. Jake was first to approach Sam, saving Josh as the last resort. Although Jake doubted if they would really need him.
“Sammy boy, what are you sulking about?” Jake sat down next to Sam, who was lying facedown on the carpet.
“M’not sulking,” Sam mumbled. “You just interrupted my perfect nap.”
“No shit, wonder if you can even breathe lying like that.” Jake nudged him in the ribs, earning himself a smack on the arm.
“Have you asked her out yet?”
“Who?”
“Quit playing with me, brother. You’ve been spending enough time at the shelter and the park that we thought Rosie was going to the big sis this time.”
Sam flipped over with a groan, his hand laying across his forehead. “No. I think she probably doesn’t feel that way, honestly.”
“Okay,” Jake rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “But how do you feel? Really smitten?”
“I don’t know,” Sam sighed. “You know the trend that goes, ‘one minute you are asking for her number, the next minute you are getting screamed at by her cat’? When I asked for her number, I was hoping so bad that we will be making advent calendar for our dogs every year.”
“Damn.” For a moment, Jake was struck by the weight of that statement; its authenticity and spontaneity echoed in the air.
“You really got some of Josh’s romantic shit, huh?”
“Don’t act like you haven’,.” Sam rolled his eyes. Jake couldn’t argue with that.
“Look, I knew you will tell her eventually. Come on, don’t give me that look. We both know that you will. But this is not like some assignment where you can just keep putting off until all the points have been abducted.”
“You have my permission to take the day off. But you better be making it up to me once you’ve got her. Do you have any idea how painful it is to untangle four strands of those lights? My fingers deserve better than that.”
Sam shot his elder brother a plaintive look. Jake raised his eyebrows provocatively, but the genuine encouragement still shone through.
“Just get your ass up already, kid.”
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Sam was going to see y/n that day anyway. The shelter was doing Christmas dinner for the animals and y/n had texted him earlier asking if he wanted to come help. The shelter around Christmas looked like a kindergarten. Garlands and ribbons hung from the ceiling. Cheerful Christmas carols played through the announcement speakers. Even the bulletin board were updated with the animals’ intake pictures with their new Christmas photoshoots.
“Y/n is at the big dog kennel in the back.”
The round-faced woman at the front desk warmly greeted Sam as she recognized him. He had been a regular; the staff had naturally associated him with y/n and had been secretly calling him the sexy Tarzan*. (Y/n burst out laughing when she first heard that nickname; she couldn’t deny the resemblance is uncanny.)
Sam wasn’t sure how he was going to do this. Yes, he was going to wing it but it’s not like he could just blurt it out. The place started to smell like food as Sam passed the reception area. He found y/n and her colleagues standing in the meet-and-greet area around a table full of buckets and a crock pot with the largest turkey he had ever seen. Y/n waved him in as she saw him.
“Thanks for coming! We’re about to start.” Y/n handed him an apron.
“There are separate bucket for veggies, meat, and broth. You just grab some from each into the bowl and pass it down, Sally and Theo will squeeze in the yogurt and puree, add the dry treats…and a bowl is done!” Y/n walked him around the table as they went through each step.
“This feels like I’m at a poke station.” Sam chuckled.
“It is, special Christmas edition.”
Suddenly, Sam felt more at ease. He was grateful that y/n volunteers at the shelter. It’s at least comforting to think that he would have nearly a hundred flurry friends as his wingman.
They walked down the corridor, stopping at each kennel, opening the door and sliding in the bowl. Some dogs were more timid and nervous, huddling in the corner and coming up to the food when they were left alone. Y/n made sure to skip those ones a few more beef jerky. But most of them were already wagging their tails like windshield wipers in heavy rain, waiting impatiently at the front of their kennel.
It took them nearly an hour going through the whole the dog area before the empty cart was wheeled back to the preparation room.
“They have special food for the smaller animals like the rabbits as well. But, by far, our job here is completed. Well done, soldier!” Y/n untied her apron and threw in onto the table.
“Are you doing anything after?” Y/n asked.
“No, not really. Why?” Upon hearing that question, hope and anxiety bubbled together in Sam’s stomach.
“I could treat you to a coffee for helping out today, or perhaps hot chocolate?”
“Hot chocolate sounds great.”
“Awesome, you’re in for a treat. I know a place that makes bomb hot cocoa.”
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It was snowing heavily when they stepped out. The ground is already covered in a thin white layer. The snow was coming down thick and fast, Sam could hear it falling onto the crisp fabric of his jacket. They walked along the side road. The sky was already dark, making the snowflakes dancing under the streetlights all the more obvious. The cars passing by, their tires rolling over the splashing snow, made sounds like someone stirring the repeatedly pushing the buttons of a a fountain drink machine. As nice as it was, Sam soon realized his mistake of forgetting to wear gloves when he headed out. It was strange how he seldom felt cold amid the big snowfalls, it’s always the coldest the day before. It was always the build up.
“So….do you have any plans for Christmas?”
“Oh, yeah I do. I am going to this awesome party. I'm going to dance, have fun, raid the charcuterie board, get shit-face drunk, and then crawl back home. Giving the weather we are having now, I’m probably going to slip and fall, break my face on the sidewalk, and lay there unconsciously until some hobo finds me and steals my purse, but all he is going to find are handfuls of puke that I threw up earlier,” y/n finished with a mischievous smile. “How does that sound?”
Sam was speechless for a few seconds. “I’m only with you on the ‘raiding the charcuterie board’ part.” He finally said.
“Always appreciate a good humour, Kiszka.”Y/n threw back her head and laughed. “I’m messing with you. Quite the opposite, I’m doing nothing. Probably still going to drink, but definitely no party.” She made a stank face.
Y/n has mentioned that she had just moved here not long ago. Sam never heard her mentioning much about her family, and he did not want to blindly assume.
“Do you want to come to mine for Christmas?”
“Crashing your family gathering as a stranger? That doesn’t sound like a very courteous thing to do.” Y/n replied.
Sam tried to focus his sight on the tip of his shoes. Just say it already. He was suddenly afraid to look to y/n. It feels better just to hear the rejection, not to face it head on, right? And could they still have hot chocolate after this? He could really use one now.
“Well, wouldn’t be weird if you were going as my girlfriend,” he finally said.
It was taking everything in Sam to hold his gaze on y/n. He saw her head shot right up. Beneath the initial shock, Sam couldn’t quite figure out the emotion hiding in her eyes. It’s always the build up. Always the build up. But now that the cat is out of the bag, he might as well just spill it out.
“I think I really like you, y/n.”
A smile crept up onto the corner of y/n’s mouth, and Sam saw it grew to a grin.
“Are you cold?” she asked.
“Hum?” That was not what he was expecting. But he appreciated a question, any question, to redirect the attention from the….previous embarrassment.
“Did you forget your gloves?” It was only then that Sam realized that he has subconsciously managed to snake his hands into the opposite sleeves of his jacket and fold his arms in front of his chest in order to warm up his hands.
“Yes, and my fingers are freezing off,” he said through gritted teeth. “And I am dying of suspense and embarrassment.”
Unexpectedly, y/n sighed and took off one of her own gloves. “There’s no need to feel embarrassed,” she said as she pried Sam’s right hand out of his sleeve and delicately stuck his stiff fingers into the glove, as if caring for newborn ducklings.
“It feels kind of good to see even Mr. ‘beat-me-in-every-banter’ at a loss for witty comments when it comes to feelings. Just proves we’re all human, doesn’t it?” She then took Sam’s other hand into her own and placed them into the pocket of her coat.
“There. See how much better it is if we simply express ourselves?”
Sam could feel y/n’s thumb brushing his numb muscles. “I may not be the best person to lecture you on this because, well, I myself have done a pretty lousy job at it too. But, I can try to improve, as your girlfriend.”
“Can you give me the chance to try?”
Oh god, now she’s asking me.
“My honour, y/n,” Sam felt like he could breathe again. And his quick wit returned. “One thing is not true though.”
“What?” Y/n asked as they continued to walk.
“I didn’t beat you to every banter. I lost in the toilet paper one.”
Y/n raised her eyebrows in amusement.
“I guess you were right. I called a truce with my bathroom ghost the other day.”
A man who is not afraid to confess his feelings and admit when he is wrong? Green flag.
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Easter Egg
Y/n did end up attending the Kiszka’s Christmas gathering as Sam’s girlfriend. Jake was smug about it the whole time (“Told you we don’t need Josh”.) He determined that Sam owed him big time and demanded that he repays him by taking down the Christmas tree and and moving it up to the attic after the holidays are over.
Of all, Rose was more than thrilled to have her over because y/n came bearing special gift for her.
“I brought dog beer.” Y/n said proudly.
“You brought what?”
“Dog beer!” y/n laughed, showing the package of four cans. “It’s just unsalted bone broth with oat and barley.”
“Shame on you for leading Rose bug down this dangerous path!” Sam pretended to be annoyed but was already reaching for Rose’s water bowl.
“Come on, Rose’s a good girl, she can handle it. Plus, she is under parental supervision.” y/n said as she popped open a can.
“Oh, is that what we are now, ‘mummy’? Dog parents?” Sam looked smug.
As Rose happily lapped up her new beverage, y/n affectionately patted her on the neck: “And you always remember, Rosie girl, beers over boys. Well, I guess your daddy can make an exception but… ‘a healthy amount of beer over any contact with boys*’”.
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*1: adapted from I Like For You To Be Still by Pablo Neruda
*2: it is from here (once you see it, you can't unsee it lol
*3: a quote from one of my favourite Youtuber: Christines Snaps
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Hey, you've made it!! thank you so much for reading!
here's something more I want to say.
Firstly, the two dogs mentioned are real dogs; sadly they have both crossed the rainbow bridge now. You can read more about them here: Klaus and Huxley. I changed Klaus' story here because I'd like to imagine that having pup cups, going on walks, and having fun with other dogs is the life that he should have been having before his life was unfairly taken away. And I want to honour Huxley. The inspiration for this piece came to me because I relay information for shelter dogs that are listed to be euthanized in high kill shelters. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see how many healthy dogs lose their life at no fault of their own. I have always believed in the power of writing; I myself have been healed by the writings of others in this community many times, and I would like to do something with my writing too. I hope to raise awareness through this piece: There are just too many homeless pups. Please spay and neuter- their lives depend on it; and if you ever want a pet, please always go to the local shelter and check out their euth-list. Saving one dog is not going to change the world, but for that dog, the world is changed forever.
Secondly, about the writing; this is my first time writing Sam and my longest piece. As many of you surely must have noticed there are some loose ends, I apologize. I was emotional while writing this and I dragged it out. Plus, I made the mistake of reading one of the most amazing fanfics ever while writing this. I became self-conscious and kind of defeated---emotions get in the way, so I think this is leaning more towards a cathartic experience. For those that have experienced the pet loss, I am sorry and I feel for you. Please know that they can always feel your love and you will meet one day at the rainbow bridge. I intend to dig into this piece further in the future: perhaps make some more changes and edits, perhaps writing some blurbs between this y/n and Sam. If you would like that, please let me know.
Lastly, sincerely thank you to @dannythedog for the gvf secret santa event. It may sound stupid but that event carried me through my finals and several mental breakdowns. It has not only helped me to connect with so many wonderful people in this fandom, but it has also encouraged me to write. I never would have thought picking up writing again would give me so much closure and comfort. Plus, she did an awesome pairing; I got one of my favourite writers here as my secret santa!! and I got to know Nina.
This is so much longer than I intended. If you have made it here, wow, I am giving you a big big hug. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my writings. I hope that there are many more to come.
More of my writings: Mariner's Complex || Permission to Fall || Ticked (all my boxes) || The Lucky Ones
(do we want a masterlist or a taglist? let me know :))
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sitp-recs · 2 years ago
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Masterclass in smut 🔥
Happy Friday everyone! As promised, here’s a multishipper/multi-fandom smutty reclist with my personal wank bank favorite ships doing the nasty and being 100% unapologetic about it. I could maybe split these between 2 categories, evocative and downright problematique filth - y por que no los dos??? Naturally, everything’s (very) Explicit here. Bon Appétit my horniessss
Has the Touch by professorfangirl (Bond/Q, 007, 2k) - the sexiest, most intimate and organic smut I’ve ever read, #writing goals
Bond is good with his hands.
Slip Free of My Grasp by @lqtraintracks (Harry/Sirius, HP, 3.5k) - 1st person pov goals, sinful and redeeming at once. This Sirius holds my heart
I don't want to be bad for him. I want to do bad things and still be, somehow, inexplicably, good.
Sardines by @shiftylinguini (Scorbus + Jeddy, HP, 4k) - a masterpiece with impeccable atmosphere, no one has ever made borderline incest feel so light & playful
It’s bad enough his cock is hard from listening to the impromptu midnight pornography of his brother getting off; Albus is not going to add seeing it to the list of reasons why he lost his mind, and presumably his eyesight, on the eve of his grandmother's seventieth.
Tremolo by Lilsoshie, marose (Tony/Peter, MCU, 4.3k) - stream of consciousness smut with insatiable Tony and exhausted af Peter
“You’re gonna ride me,” Tony decides, easing his fingers free and cherishing the unhappy whine the move inspires. “Up, come on.”
The Lies We Live With by @bixgirl1 (Jeddy, HP, 5k) - peak angsty smut, just the tip has never hurt this much :(
It doesn’t really count… is almost always followed by a lie, James learns, growing up.
Honeyboy by dollylux (Wincest, Supernatural, 6k) - filthy underage semi-public incest, see y’all in hell 🤠
While John's running an errand in the backwoods in Louisiana, Sam finds a way to keep Dean occupied. (Sex kitten!Sammy and trying-so-hard-to-be-good-in-public-and-failing!Dean.)
Ravishing by Miss_Lv (Newt/Percival, Fantastic Beasts, 7.6k) - give me dead dove like this or give me nothing!!!
Theseus holds a dinner party at his home and once Newt plays his part, he escapes, unaware he has an admirer following him.
Toeing the Line by @shiftylinguini (Tedrarry, HP, 8k) - nothing gets me more into Harry/Teddy than watching Harry watch Draco fuck Teddy. Filthy & sweet but really, this is here for the brilliant title plus daddy kink
Draco wasn’t sure why watching his partner fuck Teddy until he screamed was somehow less morally iffy for Harry than just doing it himself, but Draco wasn’t about to judge. Not when he was balls deep, anyway.
Only As Directed by rageprufrock (Hartwin, Kingsman, 12k) - possessive love is knowing how to share :)
“Arthur is a bad man,” Roxy had said. “Fucking tell me about it,” Eggsy had muttered, and gone to put on the tarty trousers Harry had picked out for him like a fucking high-end pimp.
Burned Silk, Buckled Leather by @ruinsplume (Sirius/Draco, HP, 12k) - stunning catharsis smut, liberating and full of kink positivity
When Sirius discovers a down-and-out Draco Malfoy lurking around the edges of a Muggle kink club, he thinks he knows just what Draco needs. He isn't expecting to run into some long-buried needs of his own.
Euphoria by birdsofshore (Scorbus + Dralbus, HP, 22k) - my go-to wank material, dilf Draco can step on my face anytime
A fire is prickling in the pit of my belly. I feel a little like I'm watching this happening to someone else. Al's sitting there, reeking of another man's sweat and come. He looks miserable and anxious... but also well-fucked. I look at his mussed hair, his bitten lips. I've never wanted him more.
From Thy Bounty by feyrelay, natureboy (Tony/Peter, MCU, 32k) - masterclass in both building and resolving sexual tension
Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.
Sötnos by Miss_Lv (Newt/Percival, Fantastic Beasts, 37k) - exquisite world building, blows my mind every time
Newt was expelled from Hogwarts but his parents managed to get him into another school, Durmstrang. There, Newt is taken under wing by the kind Professor Graves, who teaches him everything he needs to know about making new friends.
Heart Toward the Highway by Edwardina (Jo Harvelle/John Winchester, Supernatural, 43k) - the only F/M story you’ll ever need to read, I promise
Jo, fresh out of high school, has left home and wound up on the road with John, trying to learn the ropes from someone who isn't exactly sharing and caring. John, distant and impatient, isn't really a partner, friend, or role model -- which means that Jo's gotta get all stupid and hot for him. Their stoic apprenticeship starts to unravel as Jo starts to run out of clothes and John can't ignore her anymore.
Breezeblocks by hellhoundsprey (Supernatural RPF, 59k) - I have no idea how I found this, I don’t even read RPF. if you’re into cuckolding + humiliation: it doesn’t get any better than this
After months of doubts and suspicions, Jake ends up catching his husband red-handed when he comes home early one Friday afternoon. A/B/O
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sheenashifts1217 · 5 months ago
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hello! ^-^ i just saw your post about shufflemancy, and if you're still taking requests, i would love to get a message from dean winchester (he/him) from my supernatural dr.
my name is ange or angelica (she/her). i don't really have any specific questions. anything that comes through i will be happy with!
tysm for doing this for the community!! getting a reading helps so much with motivation it's crazy 🫶 and i personally LOVE shufflemancy because music means so much to me. if you decide to do this, please take your time, i'm in no rush. take care!! 🫂💕
Hello, pretty!! You’re so kind. I love doing shufflemancy and learning more about it. I love it so much because music means a lot to me as well. Im also really excited to do this reading because I love supernatural!
What Dean wants to say to you:
First song:
Lyrics standing out:
“I’m so glad you made time to see me
Your guard is up
I left them there to die
This is me swallowing my pride
I’m sorry
Nothing but missing you
Wishing I realized
All the time
I haven’t been sleeping
Your birthday passed
Watch you laughing from the passenger side (I literally saw you laughing in his impala while y’all ride with the windows down. Sam sitting in the back seat pouting)
Gave me all your love (he feels that you’re the best thing that has and will ever happen to him. Awww)
Freedom
Change my own mind
Your sweet smile
So good to me
So right
You saw me cry
I swear I’d love you right
I’d go back in time and change it, but I can’t”
Oh girl, the love this man feels for you is DEEP. I’m picking up on a slow burn between you guys in the past. He hates that his guard was up so high when you guys first met or maybe started getting close and he pushed you away at first. He hates that he did that and he’s so sorry. But, you stayed anyway, even when he did push you away and he’s very grateful for that. He’s almost jealous of you because of how kind hearted and patient you are with him. It pisses him off lmao. He wants to be more like you. He says, “you make me better”. He worries he will ruin you or take away your “Pureness”, but he will never leave you. He doesn’t like that you put yourself in danger for him. He feels like he doesn’t deserve it. He wants you to hold him at night. He has a soft spot for you, but he said “you already know that”. Ever since that day you saw him at his most vulnerable and showed him that it’s okay to be vulnerable and you accept him, he’s felt like he owes you the world. He loves you so much and wants to keep you pure.
Second song:
Lyrics standing out:
“Feeling destructive
Let me break it down
Build it up
Let me be honest
Wanted to protect you
We ain’t that different (he sees himself in you, the part of him that he thought he lost)
Don’t you walk away from me
See the mansions
Falling for weakness
I know you love when I sing
Pray I get through”
Idk why, but I kept seeing that scene of him as a kid at Christmas time. He’s a self destructive person due to the trauma he’s been through. He doesn’t want to put that onto you, but he knows you’re willing to listen. He needs your reassurance. He’s afraid of saying too much and scaring you away. He sees himself in you, the part he locked away because he thought it made him weak. You amaze him because you’re like that part of him but you’re so strong. You make him feel like a kid again. He wants to sheild you from the world and wants you to always come to him and open up. He also LOVES your car rides together and when you tell him he’s a bad singer. He really loves your smile and always wants to be the reason for it. He also really wants to dance with you.
Overall, Dean put up a lot of walls in his past and didn’t know what to do when you broke them down. Im hearing “Heart attack”, by One Direction, playing in my head. That may mean something to you. He’s so happy you tore those walls down. Now he needs you to guide him without him. Like a horse getting used to not having to wear blinders anymore. Like he has so much freedom now, he doesn’t know how to use it. He wants to be able to guide you in the same way. He would give you the world. He loves how you two are playful with each other and have a very “puppy love” relationship.
Happy shifting, my love. I hope this resonates and please give feedback :) 🫶💗
Edit: also, I’m not sure if he is your s/o or not. I picked up on either him being your s/o, but I also kind of felt like a best friend kind of energy. Could be a best friends to lovers? Either way, he loves you deeply and wants you to know that. Whether it be platonically or romantically
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mesillusionssousecstasy · 2 years ago
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Demon 79
This mini movie / episode was quite nice actually. 
Apparently, Demon 79 was originally supposed to be released on a sister series called Red Mirror which would deal with more supernatural things rather than having it all technology based. According to Brooker they might end up doing more Red Mirror episodes depending on the success of this.
Now there’s several nods to horror classics in this entry with the score of the shining being used as the title comes up. We also have the poster for the entry itself which looks like it’s playing on the one for that film along with it’s latter sequel Doctor Sleep. Made to evoke 70′s horrors this entry also tackles themes like race, politics and the incoming apocalypse. Centred around a woman named Nida Huq I couldn’t help think that this might be a reference to Brookers real life wife Connie Huq who has co-wrote several episode of the show in the past. 
After the title reveal we come across Nida and can hear bright eyes in the background by Art Garfunkel. This was written for the 1978 movie Watership down and the song itself is about a dreamlike state where someone goes on a journey. This is similar to Nida in the entry and they give a lot of focus to her eyes being wide open at several points. 
Now this episode is packed with a number of different easter eggs and ties back to other black mirror episodes from the off and throughout. There’s a shoe brand called Wolfies Footwear which might be building off the back of the last episode Mazey Day. We see the newspaper clipping talking about how a tipley publican named Robert Daly has died. Robert Daly is a name that has appeared in the series before and this was the character that Jesse Plemons played in USS Callister. This is probably director Tobey Haynes giving a bit of a shoutout to himself as he directed not only this but also that episode as well.  The talisman used to summon the demon also seems like a thinner version of the white bear symbol which actually appears later on in the flashes of Michael Smarts future.
The fictional UKN broadcaster from the universe announces his Britannia party and we learn that Smart actually took power from Michael Callow from National Anthem. However the flash here shows that he was kicked out for Racist remarks and a clipping in Loch Henry showed that he’d rebuke this. It then announced he’d start a new party which leads to the Britannia one which has the union jack in the white bear symbol. There’s also a shot of facial recognition at an eye level being taken out. This could indicated that the ADIs from hated in the Nation came from Smart and we see that they’re used on a black man showing that they have a racial angle to them. We also end up seeing one of dogs from Metal Head. A news ticker in Loch Henry confirmed that they were introduced by Smart and they of course caused a lot of issues in the country. 
It’s funny how Dog is thought to be the titular demon of the episode, when I definitively see it as Smart and hell doesn’t even want him dead because of all the evil he could do. Smart represents the control of the weak minded people who are easily swayed by politicians and he almost somewhat hypnotises Nida’s co-worker into voting for him.
Gaap is also a real life demon from the infernal dictionary who has shape shifting abilities and can show people a past. He states that he’s a misophape which is a lower class demon. 
At one point Nida reads the book Creative Visualisation which is about using the power of imagination to create what you want in life. 
Turns out that murderers can’t count as people who are killed due to them already being damned and thus she has to go after smart. 
Nevertheless the book is a major clue and we have the history with her mother adding to it as well. We know from the other entries that Michael Smart survived and benefits from this attack. 
The episode have the similarities to the son of Sam killings which too took place in the 70s. David Berkowitz said that a demon in the form of a dog told him to do it which though he’s admitted was a hoax could be the basis for this episode itself. 
The morality behind it is : Is it ok to kill someone when he’s a bad person or when he will do despicable things in the future. 
Can someone good and innocent do something terrible and bad for the greater good?
The actors playing the principal roles were perfect, especially the one playing the dancer in Bobby M. 
Why 79? 
Also the prime minister Michael Smart is finally in this entire episode from present to future.
Some good quotes: “- So don’t just hope for a better future. Vote for one!”
“- Cast out into a boundless, cosmic void. And doomed to spend eternity in a vaccum of infinite nothingness. Absence of matter, of time, of space, light, and sound. I would endure a profound, palpable, and ever-present lack of existence, alone in perpetuity, forever more.  - Sound like my life.”
“- My whole life, I never wished harm on anyone. I didn’t. - Uh... You couldn’t have summoned me for my trial if you hadn’t. Well, you had to be corruptible, not beyond corruption. You know what? You must have had some dark force inside you when you touched the talisman. There’s no shame in it.”
“- Then I choose Michael Smart. He’s the one. That’s that.  - Honestly, they are not gonna like it.  - But it’s within the rules, so they can lump it.”
“- So, I mean, you could come with. - Into eternal oblivion?  - Oh no, it’s much worse than that. It’s with me.”
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