#he aint like. with chris. but they go on dates and bang.

[toadwarts]

Leon has so many partners/datemates and it's so cool he manages that with only two hands and one heart. Love you babygirl

[sobersturniolos]

| WHATS WRONG WITH HIM?,, nick.s

warnings: plantonic!nick x f!reader, implied angst, smoking ( just weed.) || not proofread !

backstory: you are together with matt, but you and him had a heated argument with resulted with you being in tears. So, nick took you out on what he calls a „bestie date”

„ you always do this shit! every time when i try to communicate you just smoke your fucking blunt in my face!” you yell at matt, you found out that he was cheating with another girl and smoking up all your weed.

„i told you i don’t give a fuck.” he said, lighting the joint again. Making you roll your eyes.

„ why not?!” you screamed in his face.

„because youre a fucking bitch!” he yelled, dropping his joint and shoving you into the wall, you slid down the wall and started to cry because of how hard he really shoved you.

your head made a loud bang, causing nick to come out of his room, his hair messy and he looked sleepy.

„matt stop making so much fucking nois- what the fuck?? why is she on the floor?” nick outbursted.

„he pushed me. he pushed me into the wall.” you said, sniffling from sobbing.

„ you fucking pushed her? are you dumb or dumb matt?!” nick yelled, helping you up.

nick got you out the house, wiping your tears and grabbing some pre-rolled joints. chris had laying around the house.

you both got into the car and smoked for a little before you could think of where to start with matt.

„so what the actual hell happened with matt in there?” nick said with red-tinted eyes, he was out of it but he was definitely concerned for you. nick reached for his phone to turn on some music. . he chose „ Aint Shit” by Doja Cat ( see what i did there )

„ great song choice. but! so me and him broke up, so i went to come grab some weed from chris right quick so i can smoke. and he goes ‘ why are you here ‘ like i was coming to see him and shit. “ you ranted. nick nodded as he listened.

„ so i go ‘ im not here for you, im here for chris.’ and he took that as me going after chris, but i wasnt. so i try to reassure him and he just blows his fucking blunt in my face. disrespecting the fuck out of me!”

„ and then he got up and pushed you? “ nick said, raising a eyebrow.

„ fuck yes! he shoved the hell out of me.” you complained.

„ holy fuck! you know what, we should go to the beach. like late night beach vibes? “ nick said, touching your shoulder.

„ bitch you are speaking my mind!” you squealed, turning up the song that was now playing. which was „ Truth or Dare “ by Tyla.

when you guys made it there, nick made sure to keep the joints from earlier.

„ bitch did you bring a lighter?” you said to nick.

„ oh girl of course i did. never go anywhere without it.” he said, throwing you a cheetah-print lighter.

you and nick sat criss-cross infront of each other, passing the joint to each other as “ Breakin’ Dishes” by Rihanna played.

you sung the lyric „ Ima fight a man” with emphasis.

„ damn girl you must really not like him.”

„ i do not! “ you said, giggling.

„ what is wrong with him. “

[randomsevans]

pain of being in love part 8.1

a/n : in the current time line the reader is around 25 / 26 while Chris is around 28/29 so is set around about 2010 , just roughly . although you can picture any time you want , im just trying to sick to thing the best i can . 

 Chris POV 

 11 years ago 

Once Chis got the call he was on his way to you in an instant . How dare some one stand you up ? were there stupid or what ? No matter what Chris was on his way to come and get you and find out the punks name and show him  how much he fucked up . Chris’ heart tighten when he heard you cry over the phone and dropped everything just to make you stop  .

When he picked you up and saw the red rings around your eyes he made it his mission to stop those tears and see that smile that make his chest flutter .So when you sat across the booth from from laughing and smile , his mission was couplet along with him no longer being hunger . But he saw your eyes brows brought to together and your eyes slightly widen with a rush a red onto your cheeks , as you were so clearly stuck in your own head . Chris did not think much about it , but he did not know that moment , that single second , single thought would play such a big part in not only your  future but his too  . Its kind of funny you never know that you are experiencing one of he most important events of your life ,not until after it happens .

10  years ago .

Chris stood at his truck all nervous and giddy , he had a journey of a life time a head of him . Moving to New York was just the begging he hoped , along with all his family . Who were standing on the side ready to send him off .

“ill be back soon ma , you know that . ill never be too far away “ he said as he hunched over his mother giving her a tight hug , while a tear escaped his eye , he has never been ashamed to cry especially when it comes to his mom .

“ i know but my boys all grown up “ Lisa says swaing her and Chris sided to side . as there part Lisa wipes Chris few tears “ oh dont cry son your going to be a big movie star . 

“Ma ! “ Chris chuckled shaking his head “ i highly doubt it “

“pfff what ever Christopher just dream big yeah ?” she said stepping away 

“yeah “ he agreed 

chris turned to his sibling with a big smile , saying his good byes to his sister he finally come to Scott 

“i aint gonna miss ya “Scott tease, once pulling away from there hug 

“oh yeah so whos gonna put up with all your shit “ chris shrugged , narrowing his eyes 

“ahhh duh thats what y/n for  “ 

Chris snapped his head to Scott side where he pointed, at hearing your name . There you stood next to his brother , in a yellow summer dress , flowing in the slight breeze , your hair just past your shoulder , with red checks and glossy eyes . You were breath taking. quite literally , but Chris soon shook  that thought away .

“take care of him would ya “ chris spoke taking a step closer to you 

you nodded your head and jumped into his arms , Chris quickly wrapped his arms around you as he buried his face in your hair while you tightly hugged his waist . All of a sudden the excitement of leaving was gone , with a feeling of longing and not wanting to move from where he was . You delicate  body wrapped up , him holding you tight , he felt like he could both breath and was breath taken all at once , his surrounding forgotten as he heard you tiny hiccups . The moment felt like it lasted for every and was so quick all together  As Scott cleared his voice . The pair of you slowly pulled away , but Chris had the argue to keep you close so he did so by keeping his hand o the small of your back . He glance down and saw your once glossy eyes were now a streaming river 

“ha ! ill tell you what i told ma ...”

“that you’ll be back soon, and your gonna be a movie star “ you giggled to yourself . The sound made chris heart saw but he did his best not to pay much attention to it .

“ i never said that “ chris shook his head , looking through his eyelashes at your glowing beauty , once again he shook that thought away immaturity . 

“ dont forget me when your all big and famous “  you sigh making directed eye contact with him , his breath hitched and his chest tighten at the thought of you thinking he could ever forget you 

“ i could never “ he quickly whispered but was soon replaced with “ no promise , id have get  to there first , “

you wen to playful slap his chest but he caught your wrist , mid air , he held it for a second and rubbed his thumb over your wrist. Until Lisa came  into view 

“ come on son you want to get there before theres to much traffic “

chris slowly let you arm fall to your side , while your finger tips were still slight touching , bring an electricity feeling to chris , but pulled his hand away as the feeling of not wanting to leave crepes back in 

he turned away from you .” yeah your probably right “ chris made his way to the truck  that engine  was already going , he jumped in and shut the door with a loud bang , while the widow was down fully 

“see ya soon “ he shouted 

“ bye . we will miss you “ 

“ i wont “ 

“ bye son “

“ love you “

“ dont come back until your rich and famous “

were just some of the response as Chris ,as he  turned on to the road with a wide small on his face , until he turned to his mirror and saw you standing , waving your hand slightly , his chest tighten once again unable to  breath nor tear his eyes away from you , the pit in his stomach grew as you got further out of view as he made his way to his new life . 

9 1/2 years ago 

The Evns household was full of commotion , as not only was Chris back in town , but it was Scotts and yours  senior prom . All day long Scott was stressing basically over nothing , while having you on the phone despite you coming over later . Lisa had spent the day running around making the day as best it could be for her baby boy.

Chris was shaking his head with a small smile on his face as he bounced down the stairs , hearing his sister arguing  , reminding him of what he leaves behind every time he goes back to New York . But Chris smile was short lived as he reached the bottom steps , walking straight into something . a faint sound of clinking could be heard 

“oh sorry i didnt see where i was going “

that voice made chris’ head snap up . He was met with a breath taking sight , quite literally Chris could not breath . There you stood before him . In a long maroon dress that reached the floor , with your hair in loss curls with the front pulled back . Your eyes shown against the smoky eye shadow. Chris took you in , looking you up and down through his eyelashes , only to land on yor lips , which where lump and glising under the hallway light  . 

“its nice to see you “ you sweet voice now broke him out of his trance as a smile played on your lips . Chris shook his head , trying to make sense of his mind .

“ummm ...you to... you loo..”

“aww there you are “ Scott voice boomed as he made his way towards the pair of  you , with Lisa following , camera   in hand .

“im here “ you said ding a little twirl as you held your dress up  a little 

“and dont you just look beautiful” lisa smiled towards you making you blush ,causing chris heart beat to excel  , he shoved his hands in his back pocket trying to avoid your gaze as he frighten he might just have a heart a attack  . 

“  i tell you what Jack is one lucky boy “ Scott teased making Chris shoot a look at you 

“oh shut up “ you playful pushed Scotts chest 

“what ! i though you were going with Scott you have a date ?” Chris was trying his best to hold of his anger as he spoken through gritted teeth , his fist forming in his back pocket 

“whats happening ? why am i anger ? im just protective over her thats all  “ Chris told him self 

you looked at him with wide eyes 

“umm uhh yeah i was but ...”your nevous clearly shown in your voice 

“until some hansom bitch came and cornered her in the hall yesterday and asked her out “ Scott finished for you clearly exited and not at all hurt that he does not have a date any more . 

“scott language “ Lisa scolded him , making  scott roll his eyes .

“and you said yes “ chris bitterly asked 

you just nodded you head as you and chris looked at each other not daring to break  eye contact .that feeling came back the one on the day he first left , not wanting to leave but now it was not wanting for you to leave and go and a date with some stupid boy that is mostly only trying to play you .

“okay picture  time !”

7 years ago 

(chris bring his first gf jessica belle home from hollywood )

Chris walked into his house with a hugh smile in his face , his nervous where at an all time high , but was under control thanks to the brunnett keep tightly in his arms 

“its going to be okay chris “ Jessica laughted 

“ i know , i know , there will love you , if anything i should be the one telling you everythings gonna be okay “ chris nervously chuckled making his way through the living room , walking past the christmas tree and all its decroations 

Chris was nervous , Jessica was the first girl he brought home to meet his family , that did not allready know her . Since his town is small everyone already knew eachother , therefore his girlfriends already knew his mom and family . Jessica saw and meet a diffent side to him . The one where he was now in movie 

*************

The day went smoothly everyone loved her and chris was happy . Sitting on the couch with his family and girlfriend ,chatting away until the door bell rang .

Scott jumped out of his seat and did a little ran . Chris head followed his movement till he got to the door and then turned back around to Jessica .

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Scott sang for the 100th time that day . Everyone in the room chuckled and turned to look at the next victim of Scott's singing

"AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU " a highter pitched voice mocking yet beautiful sang right back at Scott

That's when lisa now jumped out of her seat

"Oh dear merry Christmas. Come in come in " chris heared the front door closer and everyone got up to great the new guest . Chris was busy pulling Jessica up that he didnt realise almost everyone was seat back down

"Merry chr-" chris breath hitched as you stood in front of him in a lose fitting red dress with your hair loose half up and half down . While holding a tinned box in your hands

'What is it with not breathing when your in dresses "

Chris was lose in his thoughts until a tug at his left made him turned his head to look at jessica who nodded her head towards you .

"Oh right.... yeah "chris pulled Jessica by the waist closer to him . "Umm this Jessica my ... my girlfriend and jess this is .. y/n ..." chris nervously shuffled on his feet . His eyed wondering every where . The floor ceiling but there keeped finding there way to you looking you up and down

"Y/n ?" Jessica asked

"Oh I'm Scott's friend " you quickly answered for some reason .

"Ohhh that must be why I havnt heard about you "Jessica concluded . Causing you to scrunch up your face as chris heart dropped .

"...i..."

"Oh y/n plzzzzzzzzzz tell me there your cookies " scott come and stood inbetween the three and snatched the box out of y/n and ran off to the kitchen

Y/n stood there stunned for amont . Staring at her noe empty hands . Until her fist former and fell to her side slight stomping her foot as she turned and began to walk at a rate now man will escape

"Evan's "you began quickly

"Ummm" was all could be heard

"Give ... me ...back ... the COOKIES !"

Part 8 .2 will becoming soon

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 17th February 2019

We have a new #1, and a very busy week before the BRITs. Let’s get on with it.

Top 10

As I said, there’s a new #1 hit today on the UK Singles Chart – for its first week on both the #1 spot and the chart overall (Yup, it is a debut), it’s “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” by Ariana Grande, becoming her 18th Top 40 hit and fifth #1 (Second to debut at the spot this year). This is because of her incredibly successful thank u, next album, which was the most-streamed album of all time for a female artist, and is currently occupying all top three spots on the Billboard Hot 100 in America. Now that’s impressive, although it did sell a bit less than I thought at more than 300k+... also the album sucked, it was a strong four at best. I’ll talk more about it later.

This means that Ariana Grande has blocked herself at #1, in fact has pushed herself off, as “7 rings” is down a spot to number-two.

Surprisingly, Lewis Capaldi enters the top three with “Someone You Loved”, up six spots to number-three. The album’s out soon so expect this to hit the top.

Sam Smith and Normani’s “Dancing with a Stranger” is down one space to number-four.

At number-five is where Mabel stays since last week, with “Don’t Call Me Up”.

Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man’s “Giant” is down two spaces to number-six.

Also down one space to number-seven is “Wow.” by Post Malone.

Now we have our second top 10 debut by Ariana Grande, “needy”, also from the album thank u, next. It’s at number-eight, and is Grande’s 19th Top 40 hit and 12th Top 10 hit. We’ll talk more about it later.

Unfortunately due to Grande and Capaldi, two good songs are barely hanging on at the end of the top 10. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus’ “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” is down one space to number-nine.

Billie Eilish’s “bury a friend” is also down three spaces to #10, rounding off our top 10.

Climbers

Well, there’s more than I expected to be on this week specifically, but there’s not all too many. “Going Bad” by Meek Mill and Drake is up five spots to #13, probably because of the video, while possibly due to awards season, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s “Shallow” is also up five spots to #21, “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi is up 14 spaces to #26. Then we have recent debuts like “Swervin” by A Boogie wit da Hoodie featuring 6ix9ine up seven spots to #27, “a lot” by 21 Savage featuring J. Cole up seven spots to #29 and “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan up six spaces to #33, all of which I’m rooting for.

Fallers

I expected a LOT of these due to the sheer amount of new arrivals (There’s seven), and I mean, eh, we got some, mostly due to streaming cuts though. After a couple weeks, the UK Singles Chart makes the importance of streaming in a song’s chart placement lessen, if that makes sense, and this has happened to “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max down nine spaces to #11, Post Malone and Swae Lee’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse cut “Sunflower” down 13 spaces to #23, and potentially “Without Me” by Halsey down 11 spots to #28, this week. Otherwise, well, we have the fortunate five-space fall for “Undecided” by Chris Brown to #25, and falls for The Weeknd and Gesaffelstein with “Lost in the Fire” down 11 spaces to #35, as well as Kehlani and Ty Dolla $ign’s “Nights Like This” down eight spots to #38. I’m almost sad that song didn’t drop 15 spaces so I could make one of those awful quips about Ty Dolla $ign serving 15 years in prison for cocaine possession.

Dropouts

Streaming cuts also hurt “Close to Me” by Ellie Goulding, Diplo and Swae Lee, out from #27 (Peaking at #17), while “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa is out from #38 (Peaking at #1) – about time. Oh, I might as well say that whilst “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande did drop out from #28 (Peaking at #1), it’s not because it’s less popular now, it’s because that there are at least three more popular songs from the thank u, next album, and that’s all the UK Singles Chart allows at once. This is a good rule because it prevents album bombs, but it means the chart is less accurate in actually showing what people are listening to. I bet that song comes back next week anyway. Oh, and there’s more drop-outs: We have “Leave Me Alone” by Flipp Dinero out from #38 (Peaking at #30), “Saturday Nights” by Khalid out from #35 (Peaking at #31) and “18HUNNA” by Headie One and Dave out from #32 (Peaking at #6). These are all premature, so expect these come back, or at least one of them. Fredo’s “All I Ever Wanted�� featuring Dave is out from #15 (Peaking at #15) after the album’s hype died down, whilst streaming cuts have pushed both “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra out from #23 (Peaking at #8) and “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Offset and Travis Scott out from #21 (Peaking at #7) off the chart.

Returning Entries

The only returning entry this week is due to the tragic death of rapper Cadet at 25, whose passing has caused his song with Deno Driz, “Advice”, to return at #36. Rest in peace. Now, on a lighter note, here are our returning entries:

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Thotiana” – Blueface

Hell yeah, Blueface, baby. Okay, so you know Blueface, don’t even say you don’t – you’re a filthy liar if so, because he has been all over the Internet due to viral videos of him rapping, because he doesn’t tend to rap conventionally, and he often has funny one-liners. There are purposeful off-beat moments throughout his songs, especially “Deadlocs”, but it’s mostly just inspiration from people like E-40 who would rap in a different way when they came across a beat that fit their unorthodox flow. Anyways, despite his most on-beat song to date, “Bleed It”, being an obvious contender for breakout hit, it seems like “Thotiana” has got the most traction, and hence, here it is. It’s been in the top 40 in the US for a couple weeks, and has got remixes from Desiigner, YG and even Cardi B (Who, by the way, absolutely kills it with an outrageous and hilarious verse, which I unfortunately can’t repeat any lines from because Tumblr might flag me with an adult content restriction – yeah, they’re that nasty). Despite that, it seems to be that the original version is the one that landed in the top 40. It’s obviously his first hit, and, to be honest, I love it to death. It’s barely two minutes and only consists of gliding pianos and smooth keys under a West Coast beat (With some banging percussion), as well as a slightly shrill synth, yet it feels so full, probably because of Blueface and all his ad-libs, including the iconic “Yeah, aight”. The hook is insanely catchy and beyond the meme, Blueface’s flow is great, somewhat complex at points and borders on spoken word in his verse, with so many references of what he says being “on the gang” that you’d think he has a verbal tic. This probably isn’t his funniest or most memorable song but it is a damn great one. Oh, but there’s also this:

Ain’t no runnin’, Thotiana, you gon’ take these damn strokes

Uh, yeah, well, um... Yikes, okay, I’m just going to leave it there. Great song, check it out. Check out the Cardi B remix though, it’s even better.

#37 – “Breathe” – CamelPhat and Cristoph featuring Jem Cooke

Damn, CamelPhat, I love these guys. Every song they’ve released that hit the charts has been some of the best EDM I’ve heard come out of the UK electronic scene in years, and they know how to make a fun, catchy dance song feel cinematic and in the case of songs like “Cola” with Elderbrook, almost avant-garde.  A lot of UK dance by more obscure names has hit the charts last year, and impressed me as well, especially Loud Luxury, so I’m excited to see what CamelPhat have got up their sleeves this time for their third top 40 hit, and the first for Cristoph and Jem Cooke.

Yeah, so, this feels oddly 90s at the start, with those nice warm synths, then the indie-pop singer of the week comes in with her raspy voice covered in reverb, with pretty much no build-up before we get to a deep bassline and finger-snaps come in, almost like a sped-up Chicago house beat. The beat increases in intensity with a higher pitched bass as the chorus comes in but there’s not really a drop, just a continuation of the instrumental, because it still feels restrained and isolated, despite the theatricality of the whole ordeal, and that really fits the title because it’s an anxious song, and it takes a damn long while for that tension release to come in. Unlike “breathin” by Ariana Grande from last year, that was also about anxiety and self-help, this isn’t repetitive to a fault, rather while Jem Cooke yells at herself that she needs her to breathe again, the beat is almost like a train pushing down the tracks and the finale climax when her vocals echo, “Again, again, again, again”, is the train hitting her and killing her. Grande’s song was a pump-up anthem but this is just a pure burst of self-frustration hurled at the listener, and while it’s nowhere near as good as “Panic Room” in expressing panic, isolation and anxiety (Yeah, it is kind of a retread), this is still pretty great.

#34 – “Who Do You Love” – The Chainsmokers featuring 5 Seconds of Summer

Oh, these seven guys again. Look, I like enough of both of these artists’ songs to give them a pass, but a collaborative single between the two is just a mediocrity sandwich. It’s not going to be anything interesting or new or even worthwhile, it’s just going to be a two-dude EDM duo producing for one dude called Luke or something with four other dudes (Who supposedly play instruments on any of their singles – yeah, right). This is the Chainsmokers’ ninth top 40 single in the UK and 5 Seconds of Summer’s ninth as well, and it kind of sucks. What a surprise. We start off promising with distorted piano, a deep 808 bass and what sounds like a high-pitched, siren-like guitar, with Luke crooning, until... it has an acoustic breakdown in which Luke has too many vocal effects put onto him for it to work, and he sounds too fast, like a lot of these EDM guys make people sound like... until, that weak drop with an unfitting build-up. It just sounds like all five seconds saying “Blam-blam, hoopty-doopty, doo-doo” in unison over some cloudy synths and an ugly bass wobble. I know that’s the point, but this song is supposed to be taken seriously, and I don’t think any of the seven dudes involved noticed that at any point. Chainsmokers, guys, you’ll never top “Everybody Hates Me” (Note that their best song isn’t supposed to be taken seriously... or at least I hope not). Blech, I hope this goes away, this really is not worth any staying power.

#30 – “Just You and I” – Tom Walker

Both this and his other song, “Leave a Light On”, were featured in advertisements, boosting their place on the charts. This one has an album attached to it. That should tell you all you need to know about boring singer-songwriter, Tom Walker, trying to get on that “Genuine white guitarist man” money that Rag’n’Bone Man and Ed Sheeran currently store in the safe, although unlike those two, he’s more electronic and more plastic. He’s a rip-off? Yeah. Is he an industry plant? I mean, I don’t like that term, but it sure seems like it. If not, he’s just marketed perfectly. Anyway, this song is his second top 40 hit and some fake acoustic guitar and fake handclaps complement Tom Walker’s slightly nasal and... mildly urban-Irish (???) voice and the piano... and yeah, no, it doesn’t exist. I hear this song and nothing witty is produced, there’s nothing of interest in my brain, I feel like my ears have just had a long string of nothing twisted through them. The “Drop” is just a chorus, this time, although it still feels like a drop because Walker isn’t saying anything of interest. Oh, yeah, and the two parts of the chorus feel really jankily attached, it’s like two halves of a chorus put together. Next.

#16 – “Talk” – Khalid and Disclosure

Oh, hey, a great song by two amazing artists, that’s good to see. So, this is R&B singer Khalid’s tenth UK Top 40 hit and Disclosure’s sixth, and it’s funky, smooth and fun as hell. It starts with a synth that is ripped straight from the 80s, then some keys come in and a clap, until Khalid starts singing with that sultry voice, although it’s in a higher-pitched and more emotive falsetto this time, with a slightly off-kilter bass when partnered with the synths, almost reminding me of future bass. Khalid sounds absolutely fantastic over this beautiful instrumental, with all the extra touches like the drum pattern finishing off with a repeated snare, kick and bass hit at the end of the chorus as a climax, the extra synth melodies added throughout the chorus that give the song so much more “Oomph” and groove to it. The song is joyful, danceable and I don’t care about what the lyrics say at all, but since I clearly don’t have all that much to say about the song other than “This is gorgeous and amazing and brilliant”, I might as well say that the subject matter may be unfitting, because it’s about having a talk about where the relationship is going, which isn’t necessarily as smooth, cute and glamorous as the song could paint it out to be, but there definitely is that off-kilter and quirky vibe to it that does add that sense of panic, despite how mostly chilled it is. That works well, actually. Yeah, check this out because this is the best song either of these guys have put out. If this has longevity in the US, it’s a contender for the top of my best list, because I doubt anything better will come along. Perhaps “bury a friend” and “a lot” could end up there? Who knows? It’s shaping up to be a pretty good year, though, so we’ll see.

#8 – “needy” – Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande finally finds her sound after years and four albums of having the inability to be cohesive or unique, years and years of having a wasted voice due to cluttered, messy and generic instrumentals provided to her by producers who don’t know what they’re doing, and... her albums still suck. Well, her fifth album is a disappointment, yes, and it’s also incredibly mediocre. It lacks a lot of substance, is inconsistent (It either has too much polish or not enough), has a few irritating instrumentals like “bloodline”, as well as once again, it has Grande’s great voice being put to the side due to light-weight trap beats like “7 rings”, for which Grande is forced to lose all of her natural charisma in order to fit on. There, that’s what I think of the album. Now, “needy” is not one of the worst on the album, but it is bad, and you can tell that right off the jump with its over-simplistic, toy-box melody that starts it off, and gets irritating quick, with not enough drowning it out. I like the pre-chorus, it’s pretty cool, but the finger-snaps are fake and pointless, with the borderline doo-wop vocals in the background adding nothing but volume. Someone tell Ariana Grande that her “Yuh” ad-libs should never be used again, please. They worked in “God is a woman”, but that’s the only time they worked, and will ever work. The subject matter is decent here, but I don’t think the beat fits it – because it doesn’t have a beat, really, there’s barely any percussion, and then it has an abrupt, pointless orchestral outro. Yeah, you can tell this album was finished in two weeks. It has a lot of moments like that.

#1 – “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” – Ariana Grande

Fitting title. Okay, so what’s the need for build-up, am I right? When it works, over-whelming the listener with the beat immediately crashing in is great. That’s when it has build-up, it never works when it’s just the song starting with bass and percussion immediately, without much reason. No, it doesn’t make sense in the context of the album either, because the song before it fades out. Anyway, so over a weak, discount Playboi Carti type beat with the flute (???) mixed so low that it essentially doesn’t exist, Grande raps with a rather concerning accent considering the blackfishing controversy, biting freaking Quadeca’s flow (I know - Out of all people?), with again, those cringeworthy ad-libs placed in empty spaces. Then it cuts to 16-bit chiptune pianos that aren’t used throughout the song, just in this section, for the pre-chorus, it just feels kind of worthless to have this here, it’s like it’s part of another song they spliced in (A better song, may I add). Oh, and that chorus is sickeningly annoying. I don’t care about the lyricism here as much as I should (Because it is pretty douchey, at least on the surface), but she sounds nasal with that elongated syllable melody that makes me just coil. I don’t like the backing vocals or echoes, either, sorry for the nitpicking but they feel like quick edits just to fill in empty space, especially that male “Hey” (or “Care”, or “Yeah”, I can’t tell), it’s added abruptly and cuts the beat out for no reason. The bridge wouldn’t be bad without that incessant and constant percussion pounding through it. I shouldn’t be this negative, Grande’s performance is okay, I guess, but, damn, this is awful. It doesn’t develop or even end properly, it feels like a bonus track on the standard version – because, yes, somehow this is what they chose as a fitting climax to the record. What a waste of studio time, and what a bad #1. Listen, UK, I didn’t like “7 rings” either, but at least it wasn’t this.

Conclusion

Man, I feel bad for doing so but Ariana Grande gets Worst of the Week for “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored”, and screw it, Dishonourable Mention for “needy”. Nothing else is all that bad, so the Chainsmokers get away scot-free here, with Honourable Mention being tied and going to both Blueface for “Thotiana” and CamelPhat, Cristoph and Jem Cooke for “Breathe”. Best of the Week should be pretty obvious, but yeah, it’s going to Khalid and Disclosure for “Talk”. See you next week.