#he actively chooses to position himself in love and joy instead | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trashlie · 1 year ago

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Hello, random anon here who really really loves your posts and who has been so very inspired by all these incredible bouncing thoughts! One thing that's lingered on my mind after reading everyone’s incredibly rich analyses is the idea of Nol and Shin-ae finally meeting on common ground; to meet face-to-face without barriers of blindness. I think it’s purposeful that in both of their most recent interactions, it’s the imbalance between them that ultimately forces Shin-ae and Nol apart: During their dance, Nol literally blinds himself, and of course literally it is to hide his tears, but it also subtextually indicates how he has to impair himself to be at her level–because how could he say her pure, radiant joy without romantic connotations? And then of course, Shin-ae is literally blinded by her inability to understand both Nol’s and her own feelings, and we see just how painfully uneven their conversation is as a result! Like you put it, they’re reading from different pages in a book–or maybe more aptly, they’re reading from the same book but only Nol knows the translation and Shin-ae’s just looking at the pictures? I’m so sorry that analogy is so convoluted but hopefully makes a little sense…

And honestly, on that basis, I’m really glad Nol didn’t confess, because how unfair would that be to Shin-ae? Her conflicting feelings about Dieter aside, it would be like teaching someone to read by pointing at the words and yelling at them to match the sounds to the letters instead of letting them understand what the characters meant first–it puts her in such a passive, reactive position because they wouldn’t actually be communicating; he’d more just be imposing onto her. Instead, now Shin-ae can have time to recalibrate, sleep (my poor girl needs some sleep lol) and figure things out for herself. I think it’s fitting that by the end of the resolution of this arc, it will be on Shin-ae’s shoulders to be active, to make that move, because she’s been so heavily disadvantaged since Nol realized his feelings, since her entire perception of him has been uprooted and she’s had to redefine everything for herself (my poor girl really really needs some sleep :”DD). Because Shin-ae comprehending the gravity of her feelings–why she reaches out time and time again, constantly grasping for him despite her past history of betrayal, despite how volatile and unsteady he is–gives her autonomy to choose him and know what that choice means. She needs to be the one to determine the course forward for both of their sakes!

On that note… oh boy. I think one of the things I really admire about Stalkyoo as a pairing is how just in-synch that they end up in multiple moments. They’re soulmates in every sense of the word because if nothing else, they’re drawn to each other on the basis of their shared thoughts and feelings. My favorite detail that really emphasizes this synchronization is the shared speech bubbles–something that a viewer would probably miss on first read, but shows just how in-tune they are to each other, how they reflect two sides of the same coin. More so, they showcase the moments where they’re most synchronous, operating at the same rhythm–and in both cases where they show up, the interaction is just effortless. And look… I might be very delusional but I’m really hoping that this regaining of at least somewhat more even ground could lead to something like that again. We already saw a glimpse of it during their dance–even Shin-ae commented on it!–but at the same time that divide still existed, and I think you could definitely point out that Nol was definitely taking the reins due to it. The knowledge of both their feelings, the sudden, entire change in their dynamic as the weight of everything falls onto their shoulders needs room to solidify and take root, but it could also lead to that wholly shared experience–the kind that’s just wholly theirs. And if the shared speech/thought bubbles make a re-entrance……. I actually don’t know I would just jjgeieghiegoo. For this arc in particular–heck, even these consecutive arcs where Nol and Shin-ae’s dynamic has been thrown so utterly off-balance, where Shin-ae has been left grappling with so much to carry and come to terms with and yet it has done nothing but solidify how much she cares and loves him, how she will reach out in spite of it… the hospital arc in general has literally been a moment of calm in comparison to the rest of it, where they can finally settle and Nol cannot run and it has somehow become a bed for literal forced introspection? Lmao????--I feel like a regaining of such a pivotal part of them and their shared feelings and synchronization is just kind of, thematically, the perfect place to end it off? And if I’m not being delusional and that actually is the case I’d be so so so excited for that because aghghghhhh I love this angst because the resolution and pay-off will be so so good and I can’t wait to see how this will take us there.

Oh anon I love you pls accept my confession I am sitting in my little office shouting YES YES YESSSSS at the ceiling AAAAHHHHHHHH you have such a good way of saying things that I'm about to pounce allll over!

The fact that both of them are blind in different ways is one of my FAVORITE things to come out of this episode (and I love that you put it far more succinctly than I could). The impairment because he CANNOT absolutely CANNOT be normal (platonic) about dancing with her lmao. Actually what really gets me about that moment is that when she brings up him leaving and breaks that dream moment and he starts crying, he could just as easily hide in the bathroom or something but he insists on having the dance anyway. He wants it, even if he's in this state, but yes, he has to hide it because honestly? Seeing that joy, that delight on her face? Would probably make him cry MORE. Would be so unbearable! In that moment he is dancing with her knowing how he feels, what he wants. Even crying, he probably wouldn't be able to hide those feelings UUGGGGHHHH excuse me while I HOWL about this oh my GOD

But, yes! Mutually blind and only Nol knows how to translate that page they're on! I love the idea that she's only seeing the pictures, she doesn't know how they go together she's missing the captions and the text. She's so busy trying to make sense of the pictures in the only way she knows how that she isn't taking in the necessary information to figure it out!

Also I LOVE how you put it - that it's like telling her the word instead of teaching her to read it herself! It's so important for Shinae to learn to navigate her feelings without being spoonfed or told what it means. She IS a bit socially stunted - not dramatically, but we know she lacks Nol's art for reading the room lol we know there's a lot she's never experienced before. How do you identify love when you don't really know what it looks or tastes like? How do you learn to define something so intense and grand as that? @poisonheart puts it SO WELL in showing how Nol compares to Minhyuk because this is all she has to compare it to. How can this be anything BUT friendship but caring? And that's just not it. It's not that it's NOT that - it's that it's a different form that she has to discover.

I think it’s fitting that by the end of the resolution of this arc, it will be on Shin-ae’s shoulders to be active, to make that move, because she’s been so heavily disadvantaged since Nol realized his feelings, since her entire perception of him has been uprooted and she’s had to redefine everything for herself

This is what I love SO MUCH about Nol not speaking his feelings yet. It's so easy to influence someone or impose your feelings without meaning to. When you think about it, even a confession is, to some degree, a burden; it's just that when it's received well it's not considered that way. Shinae felt that burden when she rejected Dieter, but she still felt it trying to navigate friendship with him - when he looked at her that way at the amusement park, when he talked about what he likes about her.

But especially because Nol is that person who feels like he is so unlovable - so dangerous, so monstrous, that his love will only end up hurting someone - to leave it to her to make that move, to consciously choose him knowing what it entails, how he feels about himself. To actually chase and hold on to him knowing WHY she's fighting so hard to keep him. She wants to see HIM - his face! She wanted to share that INCREDIBLY tender dance together and see each other. And when she finally sits back and realizes those feelings, when she can comprehend the gravity of her need to hold him close to keep him from leaving, when she can understand exactly what she actually fears about him throwing all of this away - god it will be SO good!!!!!!!

Because as much as Nol is scared - and we know he's SO scared - she will probably be, too. Such new, raw, overwhelming feelings, feeling something about someone that she has never really felt before - even if she's been feeling it all along!!!!! - would be SO scary. And it would be AWFUL to be put on the spot, confessed to and made to confront her own feelings before she's ready, before she knows them. Nol nudging her is THE best option - make her ruminate on why she cares, what he means to her.

Shinae being the one to address it, to choose to do anything about it, is what makes it so special. Even if it ultimately ends up that she can see she does, in fact, love him but it scares her so much but she still doesn't want to let him go. For Nol, who thinks he's so unlovable, to be unconditionally loved would be so LAKFJAFJKAFJAFJ ;A; /ROARS I don't have words!!!!!! lmao I cannot get over the significance of it being on her shoulders, of her being the one who induces resolution - because there's no way he's going to jail without this resolving. Even if she's afraid of her feelings, she will still find a way to face him, so that he doesn't leave without knowing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm getting so ahead of myself and I just can't help it!!!!!

But yes yes there's something SO good about Shinae having that agency in a story where it's felt like she's had SO little agency. Even in her own relationship with Nol where he has tried to strip her and the boys of their agency! For her to be able to turn back around and say that she's made her decision? Oh I LOVE that for her! Maybe this is me out on my delusional limb but I feel like obviously Nol would not be pushing this way if he didn't want it, you know? Like, it's so easy to be like "This is Nol, though, he'll keep pushing her away" - but yeah, this is Nol and he doesn't half-ass like anything he does. That morning when he realized when she was out of the room that he was not responding to morphine but was, in fact, responding to Shinae? That he was finding comfort in Shinae?

When she returned with their friends and the sweetest birthday celebration, when she hastily pulled together a celebration for him when she pointedly made sure that he knew he was loved.

When she stayed by his side so insistent that she not sleep that she not let him slip through her fingers again that she keep herself awake so that she doesn't miss a remaining moment

When she got so shy and embarrassed about the gift she thought so lackluster but touched him right where he needed it, pulled together all those little moments and what they meant - really meant - to him.

He acted so decidedly! It wasn't a flippant little flirty flirty that just happens. It was him, seeing her for all that she means to him, seeing her as this person he feels so deeply about and acting on it.

SCREAMS LKAFKJAFKJFAJKFAJA anon i am DYING i'm trying oh my god i'm trying ;A;

That's the thing. Nol had decided. He knew and he knew what he wanted even when he inevitably pushed her away. You can tell that he didn't even WANT her to go that time - he's just so lost in his own fears and insecurities and yes that he could not bear to look at her during a moment like that when he feels like that - and the regret was INSTANT.

He had every opportunity to hide, to deny those feelings to squash them down. He, too, could have lied and denied what it is, that it means anything, but he knows and he knows Dieter knows and by telling Shinae to convince him - convince him it's only friendship, convince him it's not anything more, convince him this is normal platonic amounts of love and care - he was giving her that agency.

He wants her to tell him what he suspects - what his insecurities and fears won't let him believe. He wants her to be honest with herself and understand why she holds him so dearly, lifts him so high, why she puts up with everything he throws her way and still keeps trying.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I TOLD YOU I CANNOT BE NORMAL THE HINGES ARE ALL THE WAY OFF I'M SO UNHINGED I AM DRUNK ON THEM ;___________;

God where was I?

And if the shared speech/thought bubbles make a re-entrance……. I actually don’t know I would just jjgeieghiegoo

I WILL ALFJKAFJKAFJ AFLKJAFKJFAJKAFKJJAFFJAKAF I don't even have words for it because I've already gone so feral that I cannot emphasize how MUCH the return of the thought bubbles will make me shed my humanity and become a wild, carnal creature howling in the woods.

I, TOO, LOVE THIS ABOUT THEM SO MUCH!!!!! The mirroring!!!! The reflection of how they both feel, the things they struggle with so much!!!!!!! The THOUGHT! OF SHARED THOUGHT BUBBLES ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER! WHAT THEY MEAN TO EACH OTHER. THE SHARED/MUTUAL FEAR OF LOSING THE OTHER AND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN OH MY GOD alfkjkajfjkafkjafjf

Nol and Shinae a mirror to each other - to their fears and insecurities and struggles BUT TO MIRROR THE GOOD THINGS, TOO. How fiercely they believe in each other, how much the other means to them, what they have done to help each other grow!!!!!!!!!!! Not even the same thing but thinking of that smile Nol wore when Shinae used his words to tell Dieter to stop beating himself up!!!!!!!!!! Using his words to become a kinder, more considerate version of herself (or rather, to be the version of herself she's always been but just down her walls). Even that time after the nuggie hands and the shared earbuds (HOW DID SHE SURVIVE THAT) when his words played over her mind that night GOD. I LOVE! THEM! Seeing something in each other because they've seen it in themselves! That is something I look so forward to about them synching up. There are always going to be times they fall out of sync - that is human nature. We stumble we miss a beat we miss a step - but being right there to help each other back up. The "I, too, have stumbled like this and I, too, will believe in you" and GOD aflkjafkjfjkajakjkafjkafjkafjaf

That's what just GETS to me about them so much!!!!!!!!! It's that, yes!!!!!!!! How good they are when they're in synch and what it does for them as people, how it helps them continue to grow and nurture each other as well as themselves ;_____; There is so much potential between them and I don't think they would be mirrored the way they are if it was all for naught. Nol can read Shinae so well because there's so much of himself in her. They share that same self-loathing!!!! The wanting to care but being afraid. Nol claimed he didn't want those relationships to mean anything - yet he still reached out. He still wanted to be a friend. Deep down he wanted to be proved wrong, that he, too, is loveable, that he, too, can bring goodness into the world even if he can't bring it to his own life I'M ANGUISHED

Shinae has that same determination and resolve to fight off help and to go at it alone, and that's why she knows she has to be persistent. Why, instead of feeling like maybe he's a lost cause and she should give up, she knows what he really needs is that persistence, and maybe a new angle.

And lmao isn't that the thing - she doesn't know it but she already has that angle!!!!!!!!! She can reach him in a different way, on a different plane. He wants her to!!!!!!!! Even though he tells himself no he's waiting for her to take that key and open the door!!!!! AAAUUGGGGHHHHHHHHH

i feel so much alfjafkajkf LMAO

Anon, when those shared thought bubbles return I'm running to you. I know you're an anon and I can't run TO you but pls! Heed my Stalkyoo signal when I banshee shriek into the night

But yes I totally agree! To me it feels like we CANNOT move the story forward without them on the same page again. That's what all of their discord is about, what their confrontation is about! I keep repeating this, but to lead into Nol off to prison with no resolution of their feelings is just as bad as if he'd not showed up at this party. In fact, it would undo all of that because what would if all mean if they left things unresolved, festering and becoming bitter and unpleasant.

Nol physically cannot run away - and there's a part of him that's becoming more resolved, I think. He kicked Shinae out, sure, but when he doesn't have to fight to get through to her? If she returns armed with the knowledge (WITH THE KEY TO THAT DOOR!!!!) If they can read the page together, understand it together, if they stand together in sync on the same page aware of everything between them?

GOD you're right. If not now, when?

IF NOT MEANT TO HAPPEN, WHY FIGHT NOW?

I can't take this. The next couple months will be EXCRUCIATING AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#I Love Yoo #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Brainrot #Stalkyoo #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #I become increasingly more unhinged with every anon i receive #at this point idk how much more unhinged i can become but then i find a new extreme #THE SHARED THOUGHT BUBBLES SHRIEKS #i will not survive their return oh my GOD #anon i love you you are everything #you have caused so much psychic damage and it's perfect #we are all on the same page here too re: them #THEMMMMMMMMMMMMM #and honestly Shinae's agency is a REALLY IMPORTANT part of this #and why it's so good that Nol didn't say his feelings #why he's leaving it for her to figure out at her own pace #so she can comprehend them without 'expectation' or imposition #so that she can be the one who makes a choice #GOD IT'S SO GOOD IT'S SO GOOD IT'S SO GOOD #i will NEVER shut up #i haven't shut up but i WILL NEVER STOP NOW

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superhero--imagines · 4 years ago

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Etsy Store Here l Ko-Fi l Commission Info

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here!/ Playlist Here!

* Alright so here are the facts as you know them

* Gojo’s a goddamn player and a homewrecker

* The boy probably has half of Tokyo after him

* Not that you can blame them, that pretty face had you fooled at first too

* The second fact, it that for whatever reason, Gojo Satoru has chosen to play house with a future hopeful sorcerer named Megumi Fushiguro

* Which, through forces outside your control, you have become involved with as well

* And the last fact, was that as soon as this no longer interested him or benefited him in any way, Gojo Satoru would abandon the situation entirely and act like it never happened

* So-

* “(Y/N/N), you look nice today, did you do something new with your hair?” Gojo sings

* - pray tell, why is the school prince is currently sitting on top of your desk, looking at you with those heart eyes

* “Oi what do you think you’re doing?” You ask, a vein threatening to pop on your forehead

* “I’m flirting with you~” he sings, only leaning closer with that all-too-pleased smile

* “I’m pretty sure this is bullying” you reply

* Ever since you’ve started pseudo-parenting Megumi and Tsumiki, Gojo’s been doing crap like this,

* Sometimes he tries to feed you at lunch,

* “Open wide (Y/N/N)~” He’ll sing as he holds out a piece of sushi towards you on some chopsticks

* Only for Megumi to eat it instead

* “Why do you look so sad papa, I thought you said I was your pride and joy”

* other times he’s holding doors open for you

* “Ah here let me-“

* You watch as he walks across from you and opens the door to a random void shrine

* You look at him before sighing and opening your own door to the library

* The other day you mentioned how you didn’t get to try the limited edition Sakura Pepsi and came back to your dorm with a bottle on your desk

* Which would be cute- if the bottle wasn’t half-empty with a note that he’d that said

* “Sorry, I got thirsty on the way back”

* Seriously he’s the worst- and yet,

* You turned away from Megumi and Gojo bickering, hoping he didn’t notice how flustered you were,

* you hid your laugh behind your hand as Gojo jogs to catch up with you, saying he was just trying to predict your needs-

* And you held the half-full bottle of Sakura Pepsi to your chest, keeping it on your window sill

* Because you love him-

* Even though you know he’s just doing all these things to entertain himself instead of out of genuine affection

* Even though these feeling will do nothing but hurt you

* You still love him

* He makes your life feel exciting and fun

* And more than that, underneath that moronic playboy exterior, is a gentle, lonely heart

* A heart that will run away as soon as it knows how you feel about it

* So you mask your budding feelings as best as you can

* Because the only thing you imagine is more painful than knowing your feelings won’t be returned-

* Is not having Gojo Satoru in your life at all

* So you do your best to pretend like nothing has changed

* You act just as indifferent as you always have-

* “Here-“ you push your dessert in Gojo’s direction. “You like sweets right?”

* His smile is so radiant you almost have to shield your eyes

* Well, mostly indifferent anyway

* Not that the self-absorbed moronic prince has seemed to notice anyway

* Too busy focusing on the scrumptious piece of cake in front of him

* Still Gojo isn’t one to be underestimated, he looks to you with a twinkle in his eyes

* “Let’s share it!”

* So far he’s tried twice to have an indirect kiss with you, and he’s missed twice

* He even threw away those chopsticks when Megumi ate that piece of sushi in frustration

* But you know what they say, third times the charm

* You look at Gojo with a raised eyebrow, gaze flicking between the cake and his face

* What, did he imbue some cursed energy so it would explode when you tried to take a bite

* “No thanks”

* Cue Gojo crying as he eats his cake

* He’s really been doing his best lately to earnestly pursue you

* But for some reason, you just don’t get it

* “I like you,” Gojo says as you’re walking side by side on your way back to the dorm after visiting Megumi

* You look back at him, and Gojo feels a blush start to fan across his face

* He finally did it! He finally confessed to you

* And his heart is drumming away in his chest

* You don’t seem to understand the monumental significance of what just occurred because what your mind heard was

* “I {really} like {teasing} you”

* You sigh, your heart skipped a beat, for a second you almost got your hopes up

* There’s no way lady killer Gojo Satoru would ever pick you to be one of his lovers, and if he did it would just be so you could be apart of his personal harem

* “Ok”

* And then you turn around and walk away

* Gojo can’t help but feel like this is retribution for all the times one of his romantic partners has said ‘I love you’

* And he responded with:

* “Why would you do that to yourself?”

* Or

* “Cool”

* At first he thinks it’s a straight-up rejection, but he figures out pretty fast that you just didn’t get it when you keep acting the same as you always have around him

* But don’t get it wrong babe, none of this deters Gojo in the slightest

* “Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask

* You’re both in the library, but only one of you is actually studying

* Gojo’s been staring at you with an oddly fixated gaze

* Honestly it’s got you feeling an uncomfortable heat spreading from your face to your neck

* “I’m not giving up you know”

* Giving up on what?!?

* What’s going on right now!!?

* But Gojo doesn’t offer any more insight choosing instead to finally bother reading the book in his hands

* What a weird guy

* You look down to your own book

* You feel the heat linger on your face and neck

* It’s because he’s always saying crap like that, that you’ve caught feelings for him

* Well whatever, everything fades right? Eventually, Gojo will probably lose interest in you-

* He’s part of a clan do you imagine they’ll find a nice girl from a respectable family for him to marry

* They’ll probably have a few kids who’ll be next in line to succeed him

* And by then he’ll be in such a prominent position that you’ll never see him again

* He’ll just be a memory

* Some boy you had a youthful unrequited love with

* The thought makes your heart clench but-

* “It’s for the best,” you tell yourself

* You’re going in completely opposite directions in life, you couldn’t possibly home for anything more than what you have

* After all your luck probably ran out the second you saw his face

* The most beautiful man you’ll ever see

* “I bet he would be one of those handsome grandpas when he gets older” you snort

* The kind that charms and flirts with young men and women just because he knows the effect he has on them.

* You still can’t believe you fell in love with someone like that

* “What a pain” you mumble to yourself, falling back on your bed

* You feel uncertain, afraid of the future even.

* Maybe a snack will help

* It’s the middle of the night, way past the time you were supposed to go to bed when you see him in the kitchen

* Great the last person you wanted to run into

* He’s just standing there in front of the fridge with the door open

* He hasn’t even turned around to say hi or anything

* “Oi Baka prince if you leave the door open like that every-“

* You stop mid-word, you only need one look at his face to know something is wrong

* It’s not all that uncommon for him to do something like this-

* See the thing is, Gojo knows he’s strong enough that he will get to choose when he dies- he’s not bound by the same pain the other sorcerers are, but-

* Well, he’s still going to die

* No matter how much he thinks he’s like god, no matter how powerful he is,

* He’s still going to die

* And growing up with the power he’s had and the mindset that he’s the strongest

* The realization can be pretty crippling

* He so afraid of the uncertainty that brings that most times he can’t move

* The worst part is it’s never when he’s actively thinking about death, or even when he’s on the job

* It’s always at times like this when he’s just woken up and is oddly hungry and he’ll remember

* “Oh, I’m going to die aren’t I?”

* And then it’s like he’s frozen solid

* What is it he usually tells the victims that enter his domain?

* “Funny how when you can do everything, you find you can’t do anything”

* Usually he manages to unfreeze after some unspecified amount of time, getting through it on his own

* But this time, when he finally escapes from the domain of his inner mind he’s covered in a layer of sweat just like always-

* But he’s not sure why he sprawled across the floor

* Not until his head shifts a little, only to see your face looming over him

* Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg

* He’s resting his head in your lap!!!

* Honestly this has been a fantasy of his for a while, to have his head in your lap while looking at the cherry blossoms, and you feed him chocolates and a gentle wind caresses your face

* BUT NOT LIKE THIS

* “Feeling better?” You ask

* Gojo thinks he might combust, he moves to sit up but winces

* He’s got the worst headache, these little episodes of his do typically end with a migraine

* Your hand feels nice and cold as it rests against his forehead

* “Rest a little longer, we’re not in any hurry”

* Aaaaand now he’s screaming on the inside again

* “Sorry about this” he mumbles, and you can’t help but smile

* It’s oddly endearing to see a shy Gojo Satoru

* “I bet your lovers would kill me if they saw knew you were showing me such a cute side” you’re half-joking when you say it, but you’re also half-serious

* It gives your Ego a little boost to know you’ve seen a side of him that most of his lovers probably haven’t

* You doubt the mighty Gojo Satoru ever allows himself to be this vulnerable, not even while he’s in the throes of passion

* So that same earnest look on his face startles you

* “I don’t have any other lovers”

* You snort

* “Sure, and I definitely didn’t steal Geto’s pudding that he was saving”

* “I’m being serious”

* Gojo sighs, here he is feeling awfully vulnerable and you still seem denser than a rock

* Do you think he would let anyone other than you see him like this

* “When are you going to realize that if it’s not you then it’s just no good?”

* Your heart is drumming in your ears, and you wonder if he can hear it

* Your mind is telling you to pull back, that this is way too good to be true, that this will only hurt you,

* You should get away while you still have a chance

* But instead something in you persists and you say:

* “Why do you think that is”

* Gojo’s hand reaches up, twirling a strand of your hair around his finger, those clear blue eyes looking straight into yours

* Your breath stutters in your chest

* You always have been weak for those eyes

* His pink lips curl up into a smile

* “Because I love you”

* And before you know what you’re doing your bending down, pressing your lips against his

* “I love you too”

Bonus:

* “You can see through it right?” You ask

* Gojo fidgets with the blindfold, honestly he was hoping for a much kinkier reason than replacing his scuffed sunglasses when you gave him the blindfold

* “It’s a little darker, but that’s not a bad thing.”

* His hair is out of his face too which is nice

* But-

* “What’s with the sudden gift?”

* It’s not exactly out of character for you to get the people you care about something, but this seems a little outside of your usual MO

* “I just felt like it” You mumble

* Now that his eyes are covered up you think he might attract a little less attention, and all his former flings probably won’t be able to recognize him

* Your eyes drift to his uniform, even in the gross pantsuit you can still tell he’s got a pretty nice body,

* But you’ll have to adjust

* Gojo sees right through your nonchalant answer, smiling that wolfish grin

* “Aw was my sweetie scared I was going to leave them?” He coos, moving ever so close

* You only turn away your face

* Gojo only grins wider

* “Honey~ you should know by now if it’s not you then I’m not interested” he sings in your ear

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru headcanon #gojo satoru reader insert #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen headcanon #jujutsu kaisen x reader #superhero--imagines

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miraculouscontent · 4 years ago

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Alright, so apparently certain love square shippers felt the need to go into the Lukanette tag to celebrate/mock that Lukanette is “over” (Marinette broke up with him to keep him safe but go off I guess) and that officially crosses all my lines of not dealing with the fandom’s garbage.

The sheer pettiness is astounding to me, to take joy in the end of what was a lot of people’s comfort ship (people don’t choose comfort ships, by the way) because of “toxic Luka/Lukanette stans,” essentially lumping chunks of the fandom together and letting the opinion of those fans shape their own opinion on a character/ship. The sheer sensitivity on display to have so much spite and disdain for a ship that appeared in less than 10% of all episodes in the show. The sheer vindictiveness to feel smug and self-righteous while also being panicked over a non-endgame ship that’s as temporary as their claim of positivity and condemning of salt until they’re presented with something they don’t like.

Goliath really be beating up on David over here because he's bigger and thinks his opinion is more valid. For the record, no, opinions are not more valid due to shipping an endgame ship or presenting oneself as a beacon of positivity.

And it just goes to show how ship-blind these people are, to care about nothing more than the fact that Lukanette has broken up. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’ve seen people who openly admit to caring more about the love square’s security than Marinette’s happiness, which is just part of the issue here.

These people did not care how Lukanette broke up, only that it happened. Marinette’s crush backpedaling (because of the show feeling the need to cater to these exact people, who are so worried about their obviously endgame ship being “in danger”) and Marinette ending the episode in literal tears because she wanted to date Luka but couldn’t are both things that didn’t matter to them because it’s all about their ship in the end. Marinette’s life has been made more and more miserable due to her crush on Adrien while straining her relationships with various characters (see: Alya’s claim of jealousy as a reason for why Marinette “must be lying” about Lila), but so long as these people feel secure in their endgame ship, that’s all that matters.

They didn’t care if it was a clean break where both sides came out satisfied (or at least content). If anything, they wanted Lukanette to end as shoddily/dirtily as possible with zero care into how it affected Marinette, whether because they just don’t like the ship or because they actively desire for the suffering of the people who found comfort/happiness in the ship. Adrien had literally nothing to do with the break-up itself and him being mentioned served nothing for the story, but it’ll be completely overlooked or outright praised because god forbid Marinette spend an episode not talking about Adrien since that would imply that her life doesn’t revolve around him and that would be an apparent detriment to the love square.

By the way, newsflash: Luka was not an obstacle to the love square. He sent Marinette away in “Frozer” to go talk to Adrien. He told her that there was no pressure and that he’d be happy for her no matter what. Had Luka not existed, the love square would still be as stagnant as it is now, and it’s pathetic to complain about Marinette liking/dating another boy when she’s not only allowed to do so, but when “Oblivio” and “Chat Blanc” both exist as little more than tools to hold the supposedly “starved” love square shippers over.

These are the same people who will say they dislike/hate Luka, then do a 180 and claim that they “just feel so bad for him” and how he “deserves better than Marinette” (the sudden sympathy of which conveniently serves to hate on a ship that interferes with their own, further proven by equally convenient and appreciation/liking of Luka when he’s not a “threat” to the love square) while simultaneously shipping her with their sunshine boy because Ladybug is who Adrien wants and what Adrien wants is what matters.

These are the same people who will say that Luka is unnecessary and unneeded, then use him as a prop and stepping stone for love square fanfics and fanart, or suggest that Kagami is fine because she makes Adrien feel good about himself (when Luka does the same for Marinette but sure).

These are the same people who say that “Marinette can’t date Luka because she’s busy with hero stuff” while making fics about the love square getting together mid-”hero stuff” and then giving complete radio silence during “Chat Blanc” outside of how good they thought the episode was.

These are the same people who will tell others not to denounce Adrien for “a few mistakes” and then preemptively denounce Luka’s behavior based on a written synopsis for an episode that hadn’t even come out yet (and also after complaining that Luka was “too perfect,” I might add).

These are the same people who will say that Luka/Lukanette makes them feel “uncomfortable” (usually without offering any tangible reasons or being vague about Luka giving off “bad vibes” when he’s done nothing less than support and respect Marinette's agency) while the show’s endgame ship features the “m’lady” hand kissing Chat Noir who Ladybug has pulled away from multiple times yet he keeps persisting (which is apparently considered okay because Adrien is Chat Noir as if that discredits her discomfort/disdain for the gestures).

These are the same people who will say that Luka is “barely there” or “hardly exists” and then complain about how much screentime is dedicated to Lukanette, the utter greed on display going right over their heads when they have the actual endgame ship.

These are the same people who will absolutely reach for anything about Luka to complain about (again, after saying that he’s “too perfect,” then claiming he “tricked” Marinette into kissing him, claiming that he tried to force her into telling him her secret, or criticizing him for teasing her for her stuttering despite him immediately apologizing) and then either defend or turn a blind eye to Chat Noir (who tried to kiss her mid-battle instead of helping, made Ladybug feel bad for keeping secrets that weren’t hers to tell plus threatening his kwami that he’d quit if he didn’t get let in on said secrets, and mocked her instead of apologizing when she told him to stop calling her by a nickname she doesn’t like and has told him before to stop calling her) at every opportunity.

These are the same people who will say that Lukanette is “forced,” then proceed to ship Luka (regardless of if they like him or not) with literally anyone else for the sake of taking him out of the romance equation (because he has to be taken out via already dating as they couldn’t come up with a legitimate reason for Marinette to not want him otherwise), and the only requirement for this person he’s shipped with is that they breathe and aren’t Marinette.

These are the same people who act bothered by Marinette “””treating Luka poorly””” because of her crush on Adrien (by the by, Adrien’s crush on Ladybug has hurt Kagami as well), inadvertently admitting that Marinette’s crush is a problem, then continue shipping her with Adrien in its canon form anyway.

These are the same people who will say that they hate salt fics (specifically ones that target Adrien) and how they “bash characters,” then write fanfics or draw fanart that intentionally make Luka out of character for the sake of having him look bad or giving Marinette an excuse to run to Adrien (because Luka apparently needs to be made worse so that Adrien can look good instead of Adrien being able to stand on his own merits as a good love interest for Marinette).

These are the same people who will slam Luka when he’s Marinette’s support, then go off and ship him with other characters so that he can support them instead (fun fact that this is usually either Adrien - thus leaving Marinette completely alone and miserable when Luka canonically likes her - or characters that Marinette is actively against, such as Chloe or Lila).

These are the same people who will complain about how salty the fandom is (even when the salt is for catharsis/getting out anger from an episode in a productive way) and then laugh when a simple side ship ends because they’ve been letting said ship live rent free in their heads and couldn’t stop anticipating the episode that declares them “over.”

These are the same people who tell or suggest that people should “just leave” if they don’t like the main ship, unapologetically implying that the main ship is either all the show is about, all that they personally care about (bringing us right back to that little “not caring how torn apart Marinette is about the break-up” thing), or that people aren’t allowed to watch/like the show for other reasons (like Marinette herself, the miraculouses, other characters who may appear intermittently but nevertheless bring them joy to see, etcetera).

These are the same people who get on other people’s case for being spiteful while they themselves ride their high horse into the sunset, playing victim when people call them out for intentionally provoking others or purposefully mistagging to avoid people’s blacklist (tagging is not for the comfort of the tagger so they can “””avoid the toxic stans,””” for the record; it’s for the comfort of the people who don’t want to see that content).

And these are the same people who will go on and on about the toxicity of the stans who ship something they don’t like and then either ignore or downplay the stans who ship what they do like because they personally don’t have to experience it. This isn’t even about ship wars, it’s about the hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness.

I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about how cruel the Luka fans or Lukanette shippers are when these people are celebrating Marinette’s misery because it means the end of a ship that they don’t like and certain people find comfort in. I don’t want to hear about people cross-tagging/mistagging when the Luka/Lukanette tag has been flooded with people who talk trash about the ship without any additional tags to filter it away, getting so bad to the point where some Luka/Lukanette fans had to find workarounds and/or avoid the tag entirely. I don’t want to hear about how certain shippers are worse because [x] [y] [z] when everyone has different experiences, showing a severe case of close-mindedness or at least ignorance on these people’s parts.

And, with how this season is heading, if something bad happens to the love square by the end of Season 4, I most definitely do not want to hear these same people decry the people who will do the exact thing that they’re doing now.

#category: salt #category: fandom #category: long post #((Mind you--this doesn't apply ONLY to the people who cross-tagged to ''celebrate'' Lukanette ending or mock Luka/Lukanette))#((so... if the shoe fits.))#((I literally don't care if people want to salt.))#((I think the whole situation is gross but like--whatever.))#((But we shouldn't be forced to deal with it because salty clowns want to make sure the people they're salty over see it.))#((And I don't want to hear ''oh it'd be different if people cheered the love square getting a wedge driven in it because it's endgame!''))#((as if mockery is okay if done by endgame shippers.))

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maxwell-grant · 3 years ago

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You have done an (excelent) post on how to reinvent Batman as a Pulp Hero. Do you think you could do one to Superman as well? Or do you think it is impossible to do this with the progenitor of the Super Hero genre without transforming him in a totaly diferent character?

Well, you saying it as impossible only makes it seem ever more tempting of a challenge, but yes, it is a bit harder. I'm gonna link my Batman post here as a reference point.

Partially because Batman's a franchise I've thought extensively about for a long time in regards to what I like about it or how I'd like to approach if given the opportunity, which is not something I can really say for Superman until more recently the Big Blue to start orbiting my brain. I don't have years worth of redesigns or fan concepts saved on my galleries and files to comb through to pick and choose here, and my experience with Superman as a character is considerably different, in some aspects more deeply personal, and not really something I'd like to go into in this blog, at least not now.

Part of the reason why it's harder is also because Batman and Superman have very different relationships with their pulp inspirations. Batman was, ostensibly, a pulp character adapted to comics, a dime-a-dozen Shadow knock-off who picked up and played up diverging traits from other characters and gradually ran with them to gradually forge a unique identity. Superman right from the start was rooted in a much stronger conceptual underpinning: the Sci-Fi Superman and Alien Menace who, instead of being a tragic monster or a tyrannical villain, becomes a costumed adventurer and social crusader. Even the name Super-Man was taken from an early story of Siegel and Shuster about a telepathic villain who ends the story lamenting that he should have used his powers for the good of mankind instead of selfishness. I hesitate to call what Siegel and Shuster were doing “subversive” because that term's picked up a real negative connotation, and it's not like Siegel and Shuster were out to upend their influences (they were pulp aficionados themselves), but rather putting a more positive, new spin on them.

Which is why it also becomes a bit harder to do what I did with Batman and align Superman with some of his pulp-esque inspirations, like John Carter, Flash Gordon or Hugo Danner, without just making it "Superman but he's John Carter", "Superman but it's Flash Gordon", and "Iron Munro / Superman but everything sucks" respectively. It's harder to create a character that wouldn't feel reduntant and derivative at best, and actively contradictory to Superman at worst.

I guess if I had to come up with a "Pulp Hero Superman" take I liked, well first of all I'd have to take steps to distance it from the likes of Tom Strong or Al Ewing's Doc Thunder, those two are as good as it gets in regards to Pulp Supermen. I stipulated for Batman a "No Guns, No Murder, No Service" policy partially to distance my takes on Batman from all the "Pulp Batmen" that just add guns and murder and take Batman back to the barest of basics. Likewise, I'm adding a "No Depowered Science Hero" rule here, which means it's a take that's likely going to veer off a lot more into fantasy and probably enough tampering with Clark's character that it does risk becoming a different character.

Frankly I don't think I'm gonna succeed at doing these without just making it a new character entirely, because with Batman you can get away with just upending the character's aesthetic and setting and even origin and still keep it recognizably Bruce Wayne (in fact Batman does that all the time), which isn't really the case with Superman, who needs those to remain recognizably Superman as he goes through internal changes and character shifts. I guess what I'm gonna do here is more taking the building blocks of Superman/Clark Kent and see a couple new ways I can rearrange them to create a Pulp Superman

Perhaps something we can do is to scale back or recontextualize the "superhero" parts without diminishing Superman's role as a superpowered fantasy character.

One way we can start is by picking on that connection between Superman and the sci-fi supermen/alien monsters of pulps I mentioned earlier and play it up further, to create a Superman who's deeply, deeply alien in a way that no mild-mannered disguise or colorful outfit can really disguise, something so dramatically powerful and alien, that instead you could get tales about the kinds of ensuing changes and ripple effects this has on the world upon the The Super-Man's arrival. And for that I'm gonna have to quote @davidmann95's concept for Joshua Viers' absolutely stunning Superman redesign on the left side of the image above

The red, the goldish-orange and white, the alienness, the angelic, sculpted feeling, the halo, that innocently curious expression: it’s genuinely beautiful. Superman as a redeeming science-angel from beyond our understanding, as much past the uncanny valley of limited human comprehension as a Lovecraftian monster but tuned to the opposite key - you could spend an endless procession of human lifetimes trying and failing to understand this being, but all you’ll ever know for sure is that it is beyond you, and it knows you, and it loves you.

Superdoomsday from Earth 45, healed and transformed into the savior it was originally envisioned as? Some descendant of his, or a future of the man himself? An alien who picked up on a broadcast of Superman from Earth, and so inspired reshaped itself in his image to spread his ‘gospel’ to the stars?

Alternatively, to come back to Earth a little, many, many pulp characters and series were built off the antics and personalities of real people, celebrities getting their own magazines or serials or fictionalized takes on them, so perhaps one way to make a "pulp" take on Superman would be to emphasize a bit more of Superman's real-world roots, trends that inspired his creation directly or indirectly at the time. The Jewish strongman Sigmund Breibart and Shuster's interest in fitness culture, Harold Lloyd's comic persona, the rising "strongman" film genre in the early 20th century, actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor that supposedly named his secret identity, Clark Kent being a socially-awkward journalist based of Siegel's own school experiences.

Maybe one start to an authentic Pulp Superman, who would still be Superman, would be to just ask the question "What if Superman was a real person and/or a celebrity, and they started making pulp magazines and serials dedicated to him? What would those look like?". You wouldn't even have to restrict it to just a story set in the 1930s, in fact you could even play around with the rise of new mediums over the decades.

This third one is a little closer to some plans I have for my own take on a Superman character, not necessarily what I would do with Superman proper but one of my ideas for a Superman analogue. Superman's a character I'll always associate strongly with childhood and childhood fantasy, and to tap into that I would emphasize the other end of the fiction that influenced Siegel and Shuster: comic strips, in their case specifically Little Nemo and Popeye.

In my case I would bring additional influences from some of the comic strips I personally grew up reading like Monica's Gang and Calvin and Hobbes, and I already talked a bit about Captain Fray in terms of how he’s a Superman character despite being a villain. I guess you could call this one "What if Superman was a public domain comic strip character, stripped of the importance of being the founding figure of a super popular genre or extended universe, and also was kind of ugly?".

He's not "Sloth from the Goonies" ugly, I swear I didn't actually have Sloth in mind when typing out this idea, I've never watched that film nor did I know until now that he actually spends the film in a Superman shirt. That's not really what I'm going for. Visually I was thinking of modeling my take on Superman heavily after Hugo from Street Fighter and his inspiration Andre the Giant, to really emphasize the “circus strongman / freak wrestler” aspect of Superman’s inspiration, particularly in regards to how Hugo’s SFIII version strikes a really great balance in making Hugo ugly and both comedic and fearsome in battle, as well as lovable and even a little dopey (without being outright stupid, like his IV self) in his victory animations and endings.

He's still Superman, he still goes on fantastical adventures to help people, he's still a deeply loving and compassionate soul whose face beams with joy and affection and who's got wonderful eyes and a great smile. It's just that this smile has a couple of mismatched stick-out teeth or some missing ones, and he's got a crooked smile some people take as smug or malicious, he’s got a strongman’s gut instead of a bodybuilder’s abs, his nose is a little busted (maybe he’s had too many crash landings), and his hair is a little wild or greasy, and he doesn't exactly have very good people skills because of how others usually react to him and, y'know, he doesn't get the kind of publicity Superman would get despite doing ostensibly the same things. He’s not deformed, he’s incredibly intelligent and capable, but in comparison to how superheroes are usually allowed to look, he might as well be Bizarro in the public eye.

It becomes a running gag that people tend to assume some nearby fireman or cop was the one who rescued the hundred orphans out of a burning building single-handedly, meanwhile he's getting accosted off-panel by police officers who think he set the building on fire, or think they can bully this weird man dressed funny. He goes to rescue old people in peril and occasionally they yell at him that they don't have any money. He doesn't get asked to lead superhero meetings or teams even though many in the community advocate for just how much he does for the world, he gets censored out of tv broadcasts or group shots (even his face is sometimes pixelated when they do show him), people invite him on talk shows and don't really let him talk or assume they got the wrong guy. He goes to rescue a woman dangling off a building, and then he gets attacked by like three different superhero teams who assume he must have kidnapped the poor damsel. He was the first superhero, he is the strongest of them all still, but he never really gets credit for it, it nor does he even want to. None of this at all stops him or deters him, except for some occasionally funny reactions.

This never really changes for him, he doesn't really earn people's approval nor does he have to, instead the stories, outside of the gags and adventures you’d expect from a comic strip, veer more towards others learning to be less judgmental and him learning ways to better approach people. He isn't any lesser than Superman just because he doesn't look like most people would want him to look and he doesn't have to look like Superman. Really I think we could use more superheroes that don’t look all so uniformly pretty.

Again, probably not a take that would work for Clark proper, but it’s one way I would take a shot at doing Superman with my own

I have other stuff in the works for this character but I'd like to keep them to better work on them for now, but yeah, these are three of my shots at developing a Pulp Superman.

Alternatively here's a fourth idea that's more pulp than all of these: Join up Nicholas Cage with Panos Cosmatos again, or whatever weird indie director he decides to pair up with next, and let them do whatever the hell they want with Superman. Give us Mandy Superman. Superman vs The Color Out of Space. Superman vs Five Nights at Freddy's. Superman’s quest to find THE LAST PIG OF KRYPTON. Anything goes.

#replies tag #dc comics #superman #clark kent #superheroes #comic books #nicholas cage

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get-kratioed · 3 months ago

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@bellaaldamas & @countlessofvoids Thank you!!! ❤❤❤

Reimagined mythological characters from various retellings (particularly God of War) and fandom's unique takes of lesser-known myth figures (OCs) are some of the reasons I'm active in this fanbase, which also inspired me to create my own takes/characters such as Narfi & Váli.

Countlessofvoids, I am genuinely flattered that you believe I would be a suitable writer for Santa Monica. Despite the unlikelihood of their appearance in GOWverse, I have plenty of headcanons/ideas for "Váli & Narfi" (or rather Kratos & Deimos 2.0) I would love to share if I have the mental capacity for it! :)

Bellaaldamas; Kratos' non-prophesied death is both fitting and poetic. Initially, Kratos was a devoted family man, but Ares' deceit led to the loss of his first wife and child from his own hands right before his eyes. In the first game, he pleaded the Gods to erase his nightmares — the demise of Lysandra & Calliope — in return for his servitude. He even endured the loss of others he cared about (Callisto, Deimos, Orkos, & Pandora) throughout the Greek saga.

In Norse saga; Kratos was given a second chance of fatherhood and a semblance of family life before Faye's passing, and throughout the events of GOWR (+DLC), he forged connections with potential friends/allies including Gods like Freya, Týr, & (possibly) Thor despite his negative experiences with deities from Greek Pantheon for valid reasons. Considering Myth!Loki's lineage (along with Calliope's death and inability to grow and have children as her own due to the events of GOW1 & Chains of Olympus), Kratos had the chance to witness the expansion of his family through Atreus and meet his grandchildren. I like to imainge that Kratos would have shed tears of joy upon meeting his grandsons (just like when he first met his granddaughter) and learning that one of them was named after him and Deimos! 🥰❤

On the other hand, I wouldn't mind if they went with Kratos' death, or better yet, ascend to The Higher Existence and becoming the benevolent God as intended for the final installment. From a brand storytelling perspective, Kratos is the emblematic figure of GOW as reflected from the franchise's name, and as we know from the ending of Vahalla DLC, his journey to become a benevolent God had already started. While Atreus' gameplay in GOWR indicates his upcoming role as the next protagonist in future releases, I also think DLCs are a perfect fit for his character given his implications as the God of Chaos/Mischief, along with his distinct powers and abilities that differs from Kratos' gameplay mechanics. Transitioning Atreus as the new lead could work if he's positioned as the new face of God of War (another title for his Godhood) as Santa Monica can't change its iconic brand.

Going back to Kratos' death/sacrifice, Atreus choosing to name his own son ("Váli") after his father reflects the recurring theme of "honoring someone after their death" with a namesake motif similar to how Kratos named his son after Atreus of Sparta.

Atreus of Sparta stood out among his fellow Spartan warriors by maintaining a constant smile on his face, even in the worst of times. He also inspired hope and reminded others, including Kratos, of their humanity despite being made as war machines. Kratos even said that his memory brings comfort during the darkest time (🤨🏳️‍🌈❓), and it was these qualities that led him to name his son after Atreus in the first place.

Kratos hoped for his son to live up to his namesake, and maybe one day, Loki will showcase those qualities for the missing Jötnar, just as Atreus of Sparta did for his Spartans.

As I mentioned before, If Kratos' sacrifice resembles like Atreus of Sparta's (where he saves everyone from the impending doom) or dies peacefully for the final conclusion, this would have opted Atreus to name his own son ("Váli") after his father.

Kratos, God of War/Hope, who fights for justice instead of vengeance. Ability to change himself (and others as shown by his final confrontation with Thor) by opening his heart to cultivate greater empathy, and these qualities are what Atreus hoped to see in his son, living up to his namesake just like his grandfather was.

Regardless of Narfi & Váli (since Hel is most likely to appear in future releases), both routes fits perfectly for Kratos' final conclusion; his origins tells us about a ruthless general whose family was mercilessly dismantled, succumbed to his grievances and cultivated his anger for war and vengeance, cementing his legacy as a monster that everyone (including the ones outside of Greece) knows. His archetype as a character from Greek Tragedy literature is then subverted to growth and healing as we know today, remembered as the benevolent figure with friends/allies and a family he once lost for the final installment.

Speaking of Hel, her potential to drive the plot forward and becoming another addition to the main cast (and possibly a playable character) makes a lot more sense than Narfi & Váli given her background in Norse Mythology, and going off the chronological order with Loki's children or introduction in GOW's case (Fenrir, Jörmungandr, & Hel → Sleipnir → Narfi & Váli), it also make sesne for Narfi & Váli act as Atreus' last offspring for the franchise's final conclusion. Not only they (as I mentioned before) serves as narrative foils (I like to headcanon that Atreus resembles a bit like Zeus in old age), but leaves room for imagination.

About the quote from one of the developers about Hel being "never born…" I'm curious to know where you heard this from because I assumed it relates to Atreboða's current age or left ambiguous since "Hel" could be any child of Atreboða given the prophecies in GOWR. Eric Williams did said that Atreboða will happen along with Hræsvelgr needing a successor for her retirement, which strongly suggests that their daughter will show up in future releases. I don't see why they wouldn't introduce her considering the foreshadows they put out.

But at the same time, we shouldn't be surprised. Each installment had different directors (and some retcons) throughout the Greek saga, especially with Cory Barlog, the director of GOW(2018), stepped aside for Eric Williams to take over GOWR. God of War (2005) was intended to be a standalone game, but due to its success and popularity, they decided to turn it into a franchise and further expand Kratos' story. If Hel doesn't show up, then it’s likely due to those reasons I mentioned earlier (sorry it took me a few days to response, as I said before, I just needed some mental capacity & energy to get this finish ^^).

. 𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐈 & 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐈 , 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐊𝐈

It’s clear that Hel will one day appear in future releases, as hinted in both GOW(2018) and GOWR, but anyone who is a myth enthusiast knows that Loki had other children besides his monstrous offspring in Norse Mythology because interestingly enough, GOW’s wiki community decided to include "Narfi & Váli" despite no evidence of their existence whatsoever throughout the Norse era.

Of course, it’s also a fandom site; while they can be a reliable source, said sources on their encyclopedia are sometimes inaccurate. Knowing the impossibility of their existence, I also thought about how they can coexist throughout GOW.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟐/𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Recently, the GOW's wiki community updated Atreus' "uncertain future" category and the links to Váli's & Narfi's wiki pages no longer existed. Doesn't mean it'll stop me from enjoying my fun. 😎🔥💯

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟐/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Nevermind, they're mentioned on Angrboða's wiki page for some reason…Váli & Narfi aren't the same as Fenrir & Jörmungandr ☝️🤓 but okay. ☠

And the more I thought about it, the more apparent it became that they’re essential for the franchise…but it’s more like my personal headcanon rather than my “crack” theory so might as well call this an AU for shits and giggles. I thought it would be fun to share my overly long detailed analysis with those who are fixated on Atreus’ other (im)possible children as much as I am because I need this to get it out of my system since they have been living rent-free in my head for almost a year just now. This blog is now officially a Narfi & Váli stan account and Kratos would have LOVED his grandsons if they ever appeared in GOW, but it's very unlikely that would happen. This analyis is going to be a long one so bear with me!

I think it would be poetic for GOW to end off including Narfi & Váli (alongside Atreus) for the final conclusion of the franchise; and yes, Hel would be an adult in this timeskip, contrary to popular belief that they were children in Norse Mythology. Despite their unfortunate demise, their backgrounds are nothing like their half-siblings’ in the Norse Mythos, making them the most ordinary of all Loki’s children. But you know what? The concept of Narfi & Váli being the epitome of normality of all Loki’s offspring gave me an a idea...I’m not sure if anyone has noticed, but Narfi & Váli exhibit some similarities to Kratos & Deimos.

Before the Olympians (Athena & Ares) pursued one of the brothers due to a doomsday prophecy, Kratos & Deimos believed they were mere mortals during childhood as they still fit the epitome of normality as children, similarly to Narfi & Váli. They’re also gods at birth, but the only difference is that Narfi & Váli most likely knew about their divine nature, whereas Kratos (excluding Deimos) only discovered it later in adulthood (a silly parallel, but I still think it counts).

Another example would be in the parallel dynamics of Váli & Kratos, as they both had experiences where they succumbed to their primal instincts in different circumstances; Váli unwillingly turned into a wolf and killed his brother driven by primal instincts under the Æsir’s (or presumably Odin’s) influence, almost similar to how Kratos was deceived and unaware, killed his first wife and daughter fueled by his primal desire for blood under Ares’ influence. While Váli’s fate remains unknown after Loki's Punishment, we can infer that both Váli & Kratos are the only survivors other than their brother.

While the deaths of Narfi & Deimos are an obvious parallel, they're also linked to Bounds and Punishment in distinct ways; like Váli, Narfi was punished with his entrails used as bounds in retribution against his father, as well as due to his relation with Loki while Deimos, on the other hand, was bound and punished due to his existence as the "Marked Warrior" (same thing goes with Kratos since he too was also bound and punished at one point in Ascension).

On top of that, they were also subjected to violence as children inflicted by Gods. Consequently, it ultimately led the downfall of both Æsir & Olympians, as predicted by their prophecy. The prophecy of the "Marked Warrior" bringing destruction upon Olympus began the moment they abducted Deimos. The sufferings of Kratos' family (including Sparta and Pandora) at the hands of Gods contributes the downfall of Olympus. Their tragedies are the major cause of Kratos' justified vengeance to destroy the entire pantheon, ultimately leading the devastation of the Greek world.

In Norse Mythology (with my limited knowledge); the Æsir's (mostly Odin's) retaliation on Loki's monstrous children, particularly Fenrir, due to prophecies contributes their downfall in Ragnarök, especially with their involvement in Loki's Punishment. However, I believe that the suffering of Narfi & Váli at the hands of Æsir Gods is the primary cause for Loki's justified desire for vengeance. The Æsir's use of Narfi's entrails, his own son, as restraints adds insult to injury, intensifying Loki's anger. Obviously, Loki joined forces with those against Æsir Gods with his army of Hel's people while the events of Ragnarök lead the devastation throughout the lands.

But since this is GOW, I found this YouTube comment (which I've kept for quite some time) that perfectly said my thoughts out loud:

With the absence of Loki's Punishment; not only Kratos saved Narfi & Váli from Æsir's (particularly Odin's) wrath, he also prevented a similar tragedy that would inflict upon his grandsons the same way that Gods once inflicted upon him and Deimos as children, in which, fits the overall theme of subverting prophecies in GOWR.

. 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Santa Monica could have easily had Atreus name his sons "Narfi & Váli" as everyone expected from Norse Mythology. But given Santa Monica's innovative approach to myth characters through creative liberties, using "Narfi & Váli" wouldn't work within the narrative structure of GOW's distinct retelling of Greek/Norse Mythology.

From what I've heard, there has been a debate about whether "Váli" is a son of Odin or Loki, or both Valis existed as sperate characters. Additionally, in GOWR, there's already a boss character named Vali (The Oath Guard), which I assumed (correct me if I'm wrong) it's a cultural practice for parents to name their child after a Norse figure in Scandinavian countries, but I find it unlikely for Atreus to name one of his children after an Æsir or any God in general. Similarly, Narfi shares a name with another Giant unrelated to Loki whatsoever...but given the wide variety of Gods and other myth characters we've seen from Greek Mythology depicted in GOW, it wouldn't be surprising if other Narfi, and particularly, Váli Odinson were to mentioned or featured in future releases.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍: If you're not aware or need a reminder, Atreus gets to learn about Deimos during "Animal Instincts" side quest. Whether you choose to bring Atreus or Freya doesn't matter, it doesn't change the fact that Santa Monica had intended for Atreus to know about his uncle, it's still canon either way.

Atreus' identity has roots that go beyond his Norse counterpart (both symbolically and narrative wise along with the origins of his Greek name) and very likely that Santa Monica would take a similar approach with "Hel" in future releases (I've seen people suggest her name could be Faye/Laufey or Calliope, or even Callisto or Angrboða's mother). It's only fair that "Narfi & Váli" should get the same treatment…so imagine how moving it would be if Atreus were to name his sons after Kratos & Deimos.

"Váli" 𝐊𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒 𝐈𝐈, named after his grandfather, transformed from a monster into a benevolent God due to his ability to change and open his heart, representing the beacon of hope...

And "Narfi" 𝐃𝐄𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐒 𝐈𝐈, named after his great uncle, whom Atreus had known but never met (but wishes they had), honored his uncle by naming his youngest son after him.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟑/𝟕/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Just recently discovered in Greek Culture, it's common for children to be named after their grandparents, in which, aligns with my case for "Váli" to be named after his grandfather! While "Narfi" is named after his great-uncle, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong) the naming tradition also involves material/paternal relatives, which is fitting within the context of GOW. ^^

There are hearsay, or statements from Cory Barlog, that Kratos couldn't bring himself to name his son after his brother due to past memories…Atreus, on the other hand, seems open to the idea of naming one of his own children after his uncle he never met.

. 𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐈 & 𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈/𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Besides Narfi Lokison and other Narfi, their accounts become somewhat unclear when Narfi's brother is addressed as "Nari." This time, it's Narfi who turns into a wolf and kills Nari. However, some sources later changed Narfi's name to Váli, both in historical texts and modern media...

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Initially, I thought this version was made based on the notion that Váli was Odin's son rather than Loki's. But after some further investigation, I'm inclined to believe that Váli is a singular character while Narfi & Nari are Loki's sons. It's also possible that "Narfi/Nari" is referred as the same character, as the belief that Váli is Loki's son is a common mistake in today's media. It would have been so easy to overlook the mistranslation and go along with the usual understanding of "Narfi & Váli"…but thinking about it now, this could actually work within the narrative structure as prophecies are ambiguously depicted in GOWR.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍: "Váli & Narfi" (or "Narfi & Nari") can shapeshift into wolves. Not only it emphasizes their connection with Atreus/Loki, but as a reflection of Kratos & Deimos through Speki & Svanna.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟑/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: This might be a overreach…but if Kratos' presumption that Speki & Svanna were boys did reflect something, then it could be described as a projection of his experiences as a military general as well as an extension of subconscious affection. Speki & Svanna (+Fenrir) have been usefully vigilant and reliable wolves that aid him and Atreus, and given the history of humans surviving in collaboration with animals, there is precedence for Kratos subconsciously associating the wolves with memories of Spartan warriors he had by his side almost as though they were his own family, where survival relied on the coordination of his armies and the care given to ensuring that his men were left standing after battle.

This can very easily be associated in the mind as symbolic of a dedicated and responsible soldier as a result from a pivotally formative part of his life revolved around the Sparta's military…and out of remorse (for the casualties of people under his care amidst the war he's wrought) and love (for those who've either perished or lived as well as the people who stood by him), it felt plausible that he could've associated this with Speki & Svanna.

On top of that, it also shows that people forms stronger bonds with animals than with humans (and deities for Kratos' case) due to the complexity of human relationships while animal companions tend to be more straightforward, which could be evidenced by his immediate interest in Sköll & Hati (shout out to my irl friend for cooking this up! 💙☠🥀).

Regardless, I can also imagine this as a foreshadow of Kratos' doting relationship with his future grandsons (delulu)! 🐺🐻🐺

. 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 (𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒): As much as I adore the relationship between Kratos and his grandsons, I personally think it would be better if they never met in person (rest assured, Hel is fortunate enough to know their grandfather as a child). As I mentioned before, Narfi & Váli should appear by the end of the franchise, and what better way to conclude Kratos' journey than being remembered as the benevolent God even after his death?

Kratos once quoted, "Death can have me, when it earns me" might foreshadow his potential death for the final installment. Given that Kratos had "died" in previous games and even evaded his predicted "death" in GOWR, I think it would be flitting to conclude his journey if the franchise comes to an end (in which, would have opted Atreus to name one of his sons after their grandfather). But it's just a personal theory of mine, so I digress.

Narfi & Váli serves as character foils for Kratos & Deimos, illustrating their childhood origins from Ghost of Sparta to the narrative's conclusion with Narfi & Váli emerging at the end. With wisdom gained from experiences and mistakes, Atreus, aged with greying hair, gazes at his sons and feels as if his father and uncle are reunited once again…relieving their childhood they never had as children.

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: If you made it this far, then congratulations! Here's a quick (and old) sketch of my variant of Váli would look like:

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Tried my best to replicate his facial structure. He's basically Kratos 2.0 with a decent childhood who smiles a lot more than his grandfather ever did in Sparta (he also has his grandfather's eyes and freckles from his father). Narfi, on the other hand, looks a lot more like his father with Deimos' iconic birthmark. They're basically Wolf Children and Brother Bear combined (I never watch either of those movies, but it's the vibes I'm get from them)! ^^

#✎...(𝐊)𝐑atio'ing ⁽ⁿᵒᵗ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ⁾#Norse Mythology #Narfi & Váli #au #my ocs

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let-them-read-fics · 4 years ago

Text

Yours Truly (Pt. 1)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: ~ Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Angst, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! I finally have a few days off, so we're back to our (semi) regularly scheduled programming with this fic! I really hope you enjoy it; lmk what you think :)

PS ~ Once again, I had to split it into two parts to appease the Tumblr Overlords.

♡ Happy Reading ��

Part 2 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

1.) A Day In Class

Where does true beauty come from?

Is it strictly based in someone's DNA, rooted entirely in the attractiveness of their features? Or is deeper than that; does it extend from their soul? The very essence of stardust and personality that makes them them? Is it in how they interact with others? How they carry themselves?

You, being the wannabe philosopher that you are, love hearing people's answers to those questions. Every response is unique in its own way, altered depending on the person asked, and you find that to be one of humanity's most wonderful qualities. Like snowflakes, we're all different; as such is our definition of beauty. It lies in the eye of the beholder, subjective in its nature, and you find that comforting. Just think: if 99% of the world's population found you unattractive, 78,000,000 would beg to differ.

Though, for one person, you're sure those rules don't apply. She's objectively beautiful, and no one even attempts to pretend otherwise.

Who, you may ask? Kim Jisoo, of course -- head of your school's student council, resident girl next door, and keeper of your heart. She's poised in every way, and refined to the point that you question if you're even deserving of knowing her. Humor and kindness radiate from her no matter where she goes, so it's really no surprise that so many people love her.

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to look at your best friend. "Yo, Y/N. What did you get for number 32?" Jeong asks from his seat in the row directly behind you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Your history professor likely wouldn't take kindly to being interrupted during his lecture, so you choose to show him your answer instead of responding out loud.

Jeong thanks you and continues to work on the activity you finished nearly 15 minutes ago, leaving you to half-heartedly listen to your professor. You're a good student, but even you have a limit to how much monotonous speaking you can handle in one sitting. As his words drone on, you roll your neck -- intending for the action to relieve some of the tension in your aching muscles; you're in for a surprise, however, when you lock eyes with none other than Jisoo herself. She offers a warm smile and wave, and the innocent actions send swarms of butterflies to take flight in your stomach. After sitting there for a moment, dumbstruck by her beauty, you snap to and return the gesture, making her giggle quietly.

Huh. So that's what angels sound like, then.

She turns back to her work after a minute, flipping the page every so often as she follows along with the lesson. You take note of how her eyes dart across the materials laid out on her desk, how her fingers mindlessly flirt with the edge of her sleeve in contemplation when she gets to a question that stumps her.

Never have you ever found yourself in such inner turmoil before. The sight before you begs to be seen -- to be admired -- but class continues on. As much as you try to fight it, your resolve eventually crumbles; foreign concepts now falling on fully deaf ears, you allow yourself to be entranced.

2.) Out In The Square

A Few Hours Later

Throngs of people stretch out before you, everyone making their way to various parts of campus as the blazingly hot sun beats down on them. Some run like their lives depend on it -- likely having overslept or missed campus transit -- while others take their time, catching up with friends and gossiping all the while. The soft pfft of sprinklers set up across the sections of lawn around you can be heard, going off every so often, and occasionally they're followed by the shouts of some unfortunate people getting soaked.

"You're so lucky, Y/N," Jeong groans from behind you. A grimace sits on his face as he flips through the pages of his Trigonometry book, looking for the reference graphs again. "No more classes for the rest of the week and you don't have any more assignments to finish? Remind me again how to become a teacher's pet, please." You roll your eyes with an amused smile, leaning back on your elbows to talk to him.

"I'm not a teacher's pet, Jeong. I just do my work on time instead of partying every night." He picks up a leftover piece of bread from the picnic basket that sits to his right and tosses it at you in retaliation to your little remark.

"I don't care what you say, those parties are always epic. One of these days I'll convince you to come along."

You shake your head, knowing there's no way you'd willingly attend one of them. From his stories, all those "epic" nights consist of is ridiculously drunken beer pong, sweaty people doing jello shots, and regrets.

"Not in a million years, loser." You say adamantly, not letting him trick himself into believing he's capable of swaying you.

With one last muttered phrase of, "we'll see about that," he returns to his studies, and you turn your attention elsewhere.

Scattered light filters in through the leaves of the tree you're sitting under, wrapping you in a blanket of warmth as your eyes scan across the crowd again. The sight brings to mind an idea that always fascinates you: everyone you meet is busy creating their own stories, writing and rewriting new possibilities and endings for themselves with each new choice they make. You can hear snippets of their conversations -- see instances of some having their best days while others are living through their worst -- and it really puts things into perspective. Although we may appear as side characters in those books of life that others are writing for themselves, we have no idea what they're going through at any given moment. So, you believe, that makes it all the more important to leave a positive impact on them; whether it be a kind smile, holding the door, or even a simple compliment, you're determined to have your legacy be one rooted in kindness.

Speaking of kindness in human form…

There she is, you think to yourself, feeling that all too familiar pitter patter of your heart pick up. Jisoo exits Building C, where her latest lecture just ended, and rushes down the stairs with her books in her arms. She's studying to become an actress, as far as you know, and you can't help but smile at the thought; she'll make an amazing star someday.

You watch as she meets up with 3 other girls, whom you immediately recognize as Lisa, Rosé, and Jennie, and they eagerly bounce their way over to the refreshment truck that one of your school's clubs had been so considerate to hire. It's the perfect day for a cold treat, after all.

Jisoo's dark hair flows in the gentle breeze that rolls in, looking like silk as it rides the currents. She's gorgeous in every way, and you can't help but be smitten; besides, it's not like you're not alone in your pining. She practically has the entire student body wrapped around her finger.

"Y/N, don't forget to blink. You're staring pretty hard," Yuqi says, raising up onto her elbow beside Jeong. He laughs with her, but his eyes remain glued to the notebook paper he's scribbling his work onto.

Your eyes dart away following her statement, and you know you've been caught. "I thought you were asleep," you bite back, attempting to hide the blush of embarrassment that's quickly flooding to your cheeks.

"I was, but I guess my intuition as your best friend woke me up. It's my mission in life to tease you."

"So I've gathered," you sarcastically smile at each other, making stupid faces like always.

"You love me," she flips her hair over her shoulder, appearing self-assured with the smirk that tugs at her lips.

"Do I though? I don't know sometimes..." she socks you in the arm, making you chuckle.

"All jokes, babe. Don't pout," you pinch her cheek until she grins, and then she begins telling you all about the dream she just had.

----

Jisoo leads her gang over to one of the nearby tables, making sure to choose her seat strategically. A special someone caught her attention earlier, as they have from the moment she first laid eyes on them months ago, and she hasn't been able to fight the urge to admire them. She watches as they laugh along with something their friend said, tilting their head back as the cheerful noise rings out. She finds herself smiling along, imagining what it would be like to make them laugh like that; it's a uniquely wonderful sound, and she can't help but adore it.

They lean across the blanket they're sitting on and dig through a picnic basket, retrieving what seems to be a sandwich packaged up in plastic wrap. One of their friends exaggeratedly thanks them, tackling them to the ground in a messy hug with a shout of gratitude that even Jisoo can hear from across the square.

"Earth to Jisoo!" Jennie says, raising her voice slightly as she snaps her fingers in front of the unnie. The former jolts back to attention with a little jump, clearing her throat to gather her thoughts.

"You know, you could always go talk to him. I've heard he's sweet." She tells the other girl, noticing the look of longing that's befallen her features.

"Yeah, Joy has Art with him on Thursdays. I think his name's Jeong or something like that." Lisa butts in before taking another lick of her ice cream.

Despite being so smart, the girls are really oblivious sometimes; Jisoo wasn't looking at him at all. She was looking at you.

She doesn't know if now is the right time to tell them that, though. She hasn't officially come out to them, but she isn't afraid that they won't accept her -- she just wants that moment to be special, and sweating in the middle of the campus square doesn't seem like the golden opportunity that she's been hoping for.

"Just eat your treats, knuckleheads." She concludes, taking a spoonful of the shaved ice she opted for instead of ice cream. The truck had multiple types of treats, with all kinds of different toppings and flavorings lining the walls.

"Okay…" Rosé trails off before adding, "but don't say we didn't try to help when you start wishing you had said something later." Jisoo uses her spoon to lower the one that Rosie had raised accusingly at her, reassuring the girl that she'd be fine.

She knows it's a lie, though; as the 4 of them later toss their trash in the bins and make their way to the student council room, Jisoo sneaks a last wistful glance at you, wishing she would've had the courage to start a conversation.

3.) One Step Closer

Friday, 1:34 PM -- A Few Days Later

"Hey, Minji. How many do we have today?" You wave at what kids have already been dropped off, your presence making their little faces light up with joy.

Your coworker responds from across the room, tossing a couple stray toys into their labeled baskets to keep the space tidy. "10 or so, I think. The last ones should be arriving soon." You nod and take off your coat, setting your things in one of the small cubbies against the wall just beyond the entrance.

"Y/N!" A small voice shouts from behind the counter, hidden from view. You smile deeply when you realize who it is, and you quickly dart around the corner to say hello. His chubby hands cover his mouth, but they do little in hiding his adorable grin. "Seungbum! How's my little munchkin?!" He squeals and runs into your arms, giggling loudly when you pick him up and spin him around. His dark hair sways from side to side with the movement, the slight waves sticking out in random places. A few seconds later, he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls back to look at you, settling into your secure hold.

"Can we play when Jia gets here? I promised her I'd show her the new trick I learned, but I wanna show you, too."

You smile at the sweet sentiment. "Of course, buddy. As long as you eat well at snack time, we can play however much you want." You raise an eyebrow at him, showing your authority, before saying, "I saw you put your veggies in your pocket last time and skip to dessert, so it'd better not happen again." He lowers his head after realizing he had been caught, and a hint of redness flushes his cheeks in embarrassment.

"Okay Y/N-yah."

You tickle him to make sure he knows you aren't mad at him, and soon he's laughing again. "Now, go wash your hands and get settled at the table, please."

"Yes ma'am." His tiny sneakers squeak against the floor as he races off towards one of the lowered sinks that borders the kitchen wall, and you shake your head with a smile.

Not even a second later, you feel a soft tug at your pant leg, and you turn around to find the source.

A head of brilliantly auburn hair is the first thing you see, and its shade compliments the child's outfit perfectly. "Hi sweetheart. Are you new?" You squat down to the young girl's level, noting how she shyly toys with her fingers as they rest in front of her. She nods, the movement so subtle that you almost don't notice it.

"My name's Y/N, and that awesome lady over there," you lean closer to her and point towards your coworker, "...is Minji. You can stay with us today, or you can play with the others, okay?" She nods again, her mannerisms letting you know just how shy she really is. Gently taking one of her hands, you hold it and look at her with a reassuring smile, asking, "Will you tell me your name?"

"I'm Aera." She meekly says, only maintaining eye contact for a second or two.

"That's a beautiful name," you compliment, seeing progress as she lightly smiles at your words. "And I love your bow," you add, touching the delicate material that rests near her ear, nestled into her straight locks. It has cherry blossoms and butterflies on it, all vibrant and neatly colored.

"Thank you, I picked it out myself." She perks up a bit now, raising her head to look at you with a proud smile. "Wow, really?" You put on an impressed expression, wanting to boost her confidence even more. "You'll have to help me choose one the next time I go shopping, then. You're great at it." The praise makes her chuckle, and her eyes squint into soft crescents in the process.

After stealing a glance at the table where everyone else has already gathered, you realize that they're waiting on you to start. "Alright, Aera, it's time to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to sit with me, or are you ready to be with the others?" You tilt your head to the side, asking the question softly so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Having had this job for a while, you've gotten the hang of adjusting your behavior to put them at ease.

"With you," she says, growing a little timid again at the idea of mingling with them yet. "That's perfectly fine." You reassure her, smiling one more time before standing and leading her to the room. Her hand remains clutched in yours, wiggling around slightly from the height difference as she looks around.

"Who's ready for some snacks?" Minji asks the group, laughing when they all raise their hands and get excited. Their high pitched voices carry around the room as they discuss what foods they want to trade with each other, and soon everyone is happily munching away. You rub Aera's back sweetly as she eats some cucumber sticks, swinging her feet through the air beneath the short chair you retrieved from the table for her. She looks up into your eyes with a smile, melting your heart with the cuteness of her full cheeks. You squish them before turning away, feeling your 6th sense kick in as you scan your eyes across the rest of the group.

"Seungbum…" you warn, catching the way he's mischievously eyeing the carrots laid out before him on the table. He pokes at one of them and sighs, eventually giving in as he takes a hesitant bite of it. With some more convincing, he finishes the rest of the pack and gets started on his dessert.

----

Honestly, you feel sorry for the birds outside.

They must have had hundreds of mini heart attacks upon hearing the somehow earth-shattering roar of the 10 young kids, all blasting out the side door towards the playground. Some of them automatically race towards the swings or slides, while others approach the basket of toys and sports equipment. Aera, however, hangs back, her entire hand wrapped around just a few of your fingers. "What do you wanna do?" She shrugs, looking around at the different activities that the others are already starting.

"I can push you on the swings, or we could race. There're some monkey bars and a merry-go-round, too, that nobody's using right now." You suggest, hoping to catch her interest with one of them. Her attention snaps up to you at that last option, and she dramatically drops her jaw. "Did you say merry-go-round?" You nod with an amused grin, laughing when she lets out a cute noise of joy. After pointing her in the direction of it, she dashes off ahead of you and makes her way to it, only stopping to make sure you're still coming with her once she gets there.

"Hold on tight, little one." You advise, cheering when she giggles in anticipation. Her chuckles fill the airwaves as you spin the bar around, making sure not to pull too hard and make her too dizzy. You were once a kid, too, though, so you make it a point to add some serious speed every now and then to keep her entertained and happy. You remember playing on these all day when you were her age.

---

"Auntie!" Aera shrieks, excitedly thundering towards the fence that borders the playground. You finish cheering Seungbum on after watching his trick, grinning as he tries to flirt with Jia; she looks impressed. You turn around at Aera's commotion, feeling your eyes practically pop out of your head at who you see standing on the other side.

"How was your day, my love?" Jisoo asks sweetly, leaning over the metal divider to run a hand through her niece's hair lovingly. She still hasn't noticed your presence, and for that you don't know if you're relieved or saddened. Watching her interact with the young girl is quite adorable, though, and you're distracted from your personal gay panic for the time being.

"I've had so much fun. And Y/N-yah said she likes my hair clip! I told you this one was prettier than the one with just trees on it!" Aera says smugly, happy to have her decision pay off and prove her aunt wrong. Jisoo tenses up, not expecting to hear your name right now. Seeing that this is her first time picking Aera up, she had no idea you work at the daycare; though she'd be lying to say that it comes as a surprise -- you're a very warm person, so it's no wonder that you're good with kids.

As per Aera's request, you walk across the playground and join her in front of Jisoo. Now it's your turn to be shy; you sneak a glance at the student council president and immediately feel your cheeks heat up, so you busy yourself by patting Aera on the head. She hugs your leg and settles against your side, causing Jisoo to raise her eyebrows. "I'm impressed, Y/N. She usually doesn't open up to new people very easily."

"Ah, I'm surprised that such a cool girl like her wanted to hang out with me." You tease, tickling her side lightly when she hides behind the material of your shirt. "Do you want to come in and see what she drew today? She's definitely skilled." You suggest, trying not to sound too hopeful as you muster up the courage to look at Jisoo again. She's already smiling at you, a soft sort of adoration shining in her eyes as they rake over your features. She accepts your offer, and you walk over to the gate to let her in. Aera demands that you carry her, so you scoop her up into your arms as you make your way back into the daycare center. Her head sits on your shoulder, and you can feel her playfully making faces at Jisoo the entire way; her tiny frame jolts with each loud giggle she lets out, and the sound makes you smile.

---

"Yeah, she was my sidekick for the day." You respond to Jisoo, continuing your conversation as you watch Aera remove her drawing from the cork board that she taped it to earlier. Displaying the kids' artwork is something that you advocated for when you first began working here, and you're so glad you did; they always get excited to share their works.

"She's a lucky girl, then." She says, doing her best to ignore the feeling of your eyes on her. Focusing on anything other than you is already hard enough for her, but she knows there'd be no hope left if she gives in now.

"Y/N helped me draw this. She doodled Dalgom in the corner," Aera cheerily says, breaking the slight tension in the air as she approaches the table. Most of the other kids have already been picked up, and Minji's watching the handful that haven't.

"It's not very good," you cringe, scratching the back of your neck. You've seen him a few times since the beginning of the year, whether it be on walks across campus with Jisoo, or perched on her desk during "bring your pet to class" day.

"It's adorable; Dalgomie will be honored when I show it to him." Jisoo says with a nod, shutting down your insecurities within a second. You fail to contain the laugh that slips past your lips, disbelief present in your voice as you ask, "You're going to show him?" She looks at you like you have 3 heads. "It would be a disgrace not to."

With a breathy chuckle, you say, "You're so strange. I like it, though."

Jisoo smiles at that, and the three of you discuss all of the fun things you did that day. Jisoo tells you about the classes she had to sit through, and even how she stepped in gum and had to borrow a pair of Rosé's shoes.

---

All good things must come to an end, though, and after about half an hour of talking, it was time to say goodbye.

You lead them out the door and down the sidewalk as per Aera's request, yet again (that child is basically a mini dictator at this point, but she's cute so she gets a free pass). As she rustles around her bag in search of her keys, Jisoo accidentally knocks her earbud case out, sending it tumbling to the ground. "Oh! Here, I'll grab it for you." You kindly offer, stepping past her to retrieve it from the grass. She takes it from you with a word of gratitude uttered in that angelic voice of hers, and you begin your goodbyes upon hearing Minji call your name.

"I'll see you around, Jisoo. And Aera, I expect to see you next week." You wiggle a finger at the little girl, donning a shocked expression when she pretends to bite it. "Can't you tell we're related?" Jisoo asks with a smile, ruffling her niece's hair. "The resemblance is uncanny," you laugh, watching as both of them join in with you.

"Y/N, come on!" Minji whines, sounding like a toddler herself. You initially go to brush off her request in order to spend a few more seconds with the two of them, but when she stands in the doorway, entering your line of sight, you see why she's so desperate for your help -- two of the children still waiting on their parents are climbing on her, about to knock her over at any second. Her face is beet red from the effort she's exerting, and her hair is mussed wildly.

"Oh shhh---" you start, catching yourself when Jisoo widens her eyes at you and goes to cover Aera's ears, "--shiitake mushrooms!" You finish with a nervous smile, gaining a stunned laugh from your crush. "Bye girls; gotta go. I'm on my way, Minji!" You call out like a superhero, running to her aid as fast as your legs will carry you.

Jisoo watches you wrangle one of the squirmy kids off of her and initiate a tickle fight to distract him and give Minji time to deal with the other one. She smiles like a dork at your actions, realizing she would be content with watching you all day. You're a natural with them, and seeing you in action is something she wishes she had the chance to do more often. With that, she turns around and picks Aera up; the youngster nuzzles into her embrace, lazily slumping onto her after having such a tiring day. As Jisoo goes to take a step forward, she notices something on the ground: a piece of paper. It's been folded neatly many times, and it reminds her of the notes she would always pass to her friends back in elementary school. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she can't resist the urge to pick it up.

"To The Girl Who'll Never Know I Love Her"

Her eyes scan across the words and she unfolds the note, making sure to keep a steady grip on Aera with her other arm. An almost unnoticeable signature is scribbled in the bottom corner, and she nearly scares Aera by squealing in pleasant surprise.

It's your name, curled into the letters that are so uniquely yours; the paper must've fallen out of your pocket when you bent down to get her case earlier.

After buckling her niece into her car seat and climbing into the driver's seat, Jisoo unfolds the note again and begins reading. She's like a giddy kid all over again, and part of her feels bad for giving into temptation. She reasons with herself by promising to give it back to you the next time she sees you, and that manages to rid her conscience of some of the guilt she feels. For now, though, she's eager to see what it contains.

The first thing to catch her eye is a poem written neatly underneath a doodle of a rabbit, likely serving as some sort of label. Everyone on campus knows of her nickname and resemblance to rabbits, and she can't help but hope that your drawing wasn't simply a coincidence.

Poison, is what you are

A bittersweet mix, intoxicatingly beautiful

For one glance from you

Steals every breath I had so foolishly believed was mine to take

For one smile from you

Sends me reeling, falling all over again

She nearly swoons at the words, rereading them multiple times over and imagining you saying them to her. She wonders how the syllables would fall from your lips, which ones you'd stress to alter the meaning into whatever you imagined when you wrote them. Whether or not they're written for her, she may never know; all she's aware of right now is how they make her feel, and how that feeling is one that she never wants to stop experiencing.

4.) Practice Makes Perfect

2 Weeks, 3 Exams, and 1 Mental Breakdown Later

"Coming!" You call out, using all of your strength to push your rolling chair away from your desk and across the room towards the door.

"Y/N L/N, at your service," you say, doing a little bow in your seat. Upon looking up to see who's in front of you, your eyes lock with the same girl who's been living in your mind rent free ever since you met her.

"Jisoo!" You announce a little louder than intended, scrambling up into a standing position before kicking the chair backwards. You wince when it collides with something behind you, filling the room with noise as a few of your knick knacks clatter to the floor. Jisoo has to fight to contain the smile on her lips, pursing them as she looks towards the ground so as to not embarrass you.

It's too late though -- you've already made a fool of yourself, and right in front of your crush, no less.

"What can I do for you?" You ask, finally relaxing your face from its previously scrunched up position.

"Are you busy right now? I have a favor to ask and you might be the only person who can help me out." Her eyebrows raise inquisitively at you, quirking up in that special way they always do when she's focusing in class.

She could ask you to do just about anything, and you'd be agreeing without hesitation; no questions asked.

"N-no, just doing a little studying is all. How can I help?" You'd normally curse yourself for sounding so shy, but she looks especially gorgeous tonight and you can't even blame yourself for it. The fluorescent bulbs of the dorm's hallway fail to even put a dent in the glow she's radiating, and that's no small feat -- those horrible little things are usually capable of making anyone look bad, and yet, once again, Jisoo manages to break the mold.

"Mrs. Choi assigned a rehearsal for me tonight, and I need a peer to score how well I do. I trust you to do it." She says, having no idea how much her words are affecting you.

Review portions of the semester are crucial to every major's success, but arguably none so much as those studying to be actors. The peer and admin reviews that they receive account for a large chunk of their grade, so you can imagine how nerve-racking it would be to put that kind of power in someone else's hands. You're touched that she trusts you with it.

"I'd love to help, Jisoo. Just curious, though: why don't you have one of the girls help? They probably know more about it than me, after all." Everyone knows how close JenChuLiChaeng are, so her decision to choose you is genuinely intriguing.

Shit. For some reason, Jisoo hadn't anticipated that you'd ask that question. The thought had never crossed her mind earlier, when she was preoccupied with convincing herself to come in the first place, so she has to think something up on the fly.

"They're all busy with work. Couldn't afford to lose any precious cramming time, you know?" She says, a hint of nervousness behind the small laugh she lets out. It's uncharacteristic for her, considering she's usually so confident all the time, but you think it's adorable.

"Ryujin's the same way," you tease, turning your head to look at your roommate. She's across the room on her bed, reading through her book as she holds her middle finger up to let you know she heard your comment. "What a sweetie," you coo, blowing a kiss at her that makes her roll her eyes and smile despite herself. She pretends to be hardcore, but after spending the past few months with her you've discovered that she's actually the human embodiment of a cinnamon roll.

"Well," you say, turning back to Jisoo, "when do you have to start?"

She pulls her sleeve back to glance at her watch before returning her gaze to you. "Gotta be back at the dorm in 10 minutes."

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the inner honor student in you already panicking. "10 minutes?! It's all the way across campus, Jisoo!"

She laughs at you now, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "I'm kidding; we still have a couple hours. You should've seen your face, though. Priceless."

"That's no way to treat someone who practically has your grade resting in their hands." You say smugly, a little smirk playing on your lips when her jaw drops dramatically.

"You wouldn't dare," she narrows her eyes, referencing the notion that you might give her bad marks because of that little prank.

"Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps I'll be merciful if you take me to get something to eat first."

"Food as a peace offering? Alright, I can do that."

You smile, doing a dorky little cheer at that. "Okay, I'll be right out; just give me a second to make myself look presentable."

Jisoo accepts your words with a curt nod, but she wants to tell you that you already look more than presentable. When you first opened the door earlier and she saw you in your study glasses, she couldn't help but smile like a fool; you're adorable, especially to her, and she wishes you could see that.

A couple minutes later you exit your dorm and find her leaned up against the hallway wall, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Is she nervous?

"So, where would you like to go?" You ask, pulling the thin material of your jacket over your shoulders. It's lightweight -- seeing as how the weather doesn't call for a large one -- and it feels soft against your skin.

As the two of you fall into step with each other, she responds, "It's up to you, princess. Since I'm at your mercy and all." Her smirk is visible in your peripheral.

The nickname causes your heart to flutter in your chest, thudding around even harder than it had before. "U-uh, how about the noodle place?" You suggest, trying not to cringe at the stutter in your voice. You've heard that she likes chicken and ramen, and that shop is known as the best restaurant on campus for it.

"110%. You know me so well," she says dreamily, batting her eyelashes at you with a silly smile.

"Called it," you retort, brushing your shoulder off nonchalantly. "Now come on, I'm hungry and ready to spend all of your money." Her hand slips into yours when you reach down for it, almost instinctively, feeling like it was meant to be there all along, and you tug her down the hallway towards the elevator.

----

"I know! If Mr. Johnson assigns another project like that then I'll politely be jumping out a window."

Jisoo laughs at how animated you are, even having to stop chewing her mouthful of food momentarily to make sure she doesn't choke. She really loves hanging out with you; you make everything fun, and all of the stress she feels on a daily basis seems to vanish into thin air.

"I did pretty bad on that last one," Jisoo adds, grimacing as she remembers her score.

"You literally got a 93 out of 100, shut up." You shake your head with an amused smile, reaching across the table to snatch a piece of gimbap from her plate.

"Hey--" she goes to yell at you, but her phone vibrates against the table, successfully stopping her.

"Hello?" She answers, silently starting a chopstick war with you when you reach for another piece. When the person on the other end begins talking, she stops playing in order to concentrate on what they're saying.

"Did she cancel?" She asks, furrowing her brow as her lips form into a natural pout. She sighs, rubbing her temple gently as the conversation continues. "Okay, I'm out with a friend right now, but you can go ahead and head that way. We'll meet you there. Alright, love you, too. Bye."

You raise an eyebrow, wordlessly requesting info about what new plan you're being involved in. "That was my brother; the babysitter cancelled on them last minute, so we have to watch Aera for a few hours." Jisoo loves her niece dearly, but she can't deny that she wanted to spend the evening alone with you. She's afraid the little girl will steal all of your attention away, as childish as that may seem.

"You're such a good person," you compliment, only to frown when she brushes off your words. "I mean it, Jisoo. You always take care of everybody around you; it's admirable. Now take the compliment or I'll team up with Aera later and tease you."

She rolls her eyes with a smile, saying, "You're gonna do that regardless."

"That's not the point," you pout, stomping your foot on the ground lightly.

"Fine; tis I, Jisoo, the greatest person in all of existence. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." You beam at her, returning back to your cheery self. "I'll go grab some boxes for us, okay?" She nods, and you scurry off on your mission.

----

Back At Jisoo's Dorm

Images flash across the large, flatscreen TV mounted to the wall across from you, displaying scenes of whatever cartoon the network decided to air right now. Aera isn't being picky; she's content with sitting in your lap, mindlessly fidgeting with the necklace that loosely dangles from your neck as she remains entranced by the screen. Your arms are around her to make her feel secure, and her small frame racks against you with every sweet giggle she lets out anytime a new joke is told by one of her favorite characters.

Jisoo observes from the kitchen, leaning back against the countertop to settle in while she waits for Aera's favorite snack to heat up. She watches as you point to various things on the TV, having her name the ones she knows and teaching her others that she doesn't.

She loves seeing you like this. You're beaming in that special way that sets her heart on fire, and the flames are only fanned when you turn to look at her. Somehow, the sight reminds her of the first time she met you:

It was orientation week -- the beginning of the school year -- and you were taking a tour around campus with some of your friends. You were lucky to have them; you'd only kept in contact with a handful of people from high school, knowing full well that most of those relationships were only rooted in superficiality, never meant to last. But this motley crew was different; they saw you for you, and all of you genuinely enjoyed each other's company. It didn't have the same air of awkward tension as the fake friendships had -- this was real and honest, and you thanked your lucky stars for them on the daily.

All of you had managed to get into your dream schools, and the reality was bittersweet; you'd all be moving away from each other and beginning your own lives, having less and less time for each other in the process. You were beyond proud of them, and yourself, for that matter, but it still hurt to think that they wouldn't be just a few blocks away anymore. That you couldn't just swing by their house to go on a late night drive through the city like you used to. As exciting as your new experiences were bound to be, part of you was terrified; your life up until now had been fairly safe, creating a little security blanket to protect you from all that life had in store, but now you were on your own and the idea was a bit daunting. The memories you made together comforted you, though, and kept the sadness at bay.

"Dude, this place is sick. How did you manage to make it in again?"

"Because she's smart, dumbass. We should be asking you that question."

"Ouch, (Friend's Name), that hurt."

"Do you still have those chips from earlier? I'm starving over here."

"Yeah, here, they're in my bag."

Pockets of separate conversations can be heard from behind you, all of your friends chatting away while you walk ahead of them, map and schedule in hand. The campus is fairly large, and with so many buildings and classrooms it's easy to get confused. You continue walking, running a finger along the map to trace the path you intend to take towards the Help Center.

In your preoccupied state, you don't even realize that you're headed straight for a trash can that sits on the sidewalk, mere seconds away from colliding with it.

A passerby notices just in the nick of time, reaching an arm out in front of you to prevent the accident with a noise of warning. You tense up, not expecting the sudden interruption, and look up into the eyes of your savior. Her dark orbs peer back at you, an innocent gleam in them when she sees your lips slowly tug into a smile.

She mirrors your actions, neither of you saying anything yet. You couldn't utter a word even if you wanted to; her beauty leaves you speechless.

"That was close," she says quietly, only to you. Your friends have almost caught up with you now, still busy with their own conversations, though they'll tease you once they see a gorgeous stranger's arm wrapped around you.

"Thank you," you breathe out, clearing your throat as you take a step away from her.

"Ooh, who's this, Y/N?" One of your friends coos, garnering a chorus of childish "oohs" and kissy noises from the others. Why are they so obnoxious?

You apologetically glance at the girl one more time before turning around to respond to them, but she speaks up before you can.

"Kim Jisoo." She introduces, facing them with a wide smile. It's easy to see that she's done this before; her tone is pleasant and light, not even a hint of hesitancy in it. She's used to being the center of attention; you can tell by the way she carries herself and commands the space.

"I see you guys are taking a tour, right?" She looks between all of you, though her eyes linger on you for a second too long to be brushed off as 'just friendly'.

You nod, saying, "I can't find my last class. It's a Gen Ed one; World History, room 435. The map says it's in Complex D, but the room was vacant when we went by."

She listens intently, paying attention to your every word. "They must've handed out the old maps by accident, then. Mr. Johnson had to move rooms to accommodate larger class sizes. When do you have him?"

You unfold your schedule again, gazing down at the slightly crumpled sheet until your eyes find their target. "Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1PM."

Upon registering what you said, Jisoo does her best to contain the grin that threatens to spread across her face. "Ah, same as me! I can take you to the room, if you'd like. That way you can find it next week." She offers, pleased by the fact that she'll be seeing you more often. Your cute mannerisms have already thrown her for a loop, and she wants to get to know you better.

"That would be great." You let out a relieved laugh, releasing the worry you felt; tours are meant to end within 20 minutes or so, and before Jisoo came you were afraid you'd never find your last class. She's saving the day again, it seems.

"Great, follow me," she smiles warmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to turn you in the right direction. When you give your friends one last glance over your shoulder, you find them giving you thumbs up with smirks on their faces. One of them puckers their lips at you, and you stick your tongue out in return.

You're not sure what they'll end up doing while you finish your tour, though it'll likely involve either skating or eating fast food. They have each other to keep themselves entertained, so you're not worried about them in the slightest. You make a mental note to text them when you're done to meet up again.

Jisoo smiles like an idiot when she realizes what's happening behind her, failing miserably to hide it when you spin back around and give your full attention to her.

"What?" You ask, leaning in closer to her to nudge her shoulder when she looks away, blushing.

"Nothing," she shakes her head, only to be prompted by you again. "You're just cute, is all."

You have to use all your power to hold back the squeal you want to let out at hearing that. Kim Jisoo, as you now know her to be, thinks you're cute? You must be dreaming.

"That's funny, I don't remember turning into a mirror."

"Yah, babo!" She chuckles, not expecting that as she smacks the back of your head with no real force. The two of you share a laugh and continue talking while you make your way to the room.

Beeping sounds from the microwave bring Jisoo back down to Earth, causing the pleasant memory to fade more and more with every incessant signal that cuts through the air. She grabs a couple heat guards and approaches the machine, carefully opening the steaming package and pouring its contents into a big, shareable bowl. Though it may be Aera's favorite food, she'd be damned to not make enough for the two of you as well. After all, keeping her entertained will take plenty of energy.

"Did this princess order one heaping bowl of popcorn or am I at the wrong castle?" Jisoo plays, padding into the room with a bright smile on her face as she looks over at her niece. The smell of her snack snaps Aera back to reality, making her eyes light up with pure joy as she leaps off of your lap and runs to Jisoo. She wraps her arms around her legs, thanking her in that sweet little voice of hers as she gazes up at her aunt with stars in her eyes.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She chants, wiggling her body around in excitement. She lets go when Jisoo goes to walk to the couch, following close behind her like an eager puppy.

She approaches you again, making grabby hands for you to lift her onto your lap even though she's more than capable of getting up there by herself. Nevertheless, you pull her up with a humored grin, watching as she puts her hands in her lap and patiently waits for the two of you to get a bite first. Her ability to follow manners is commendable, though the slight twitch of her lip when she gets a whiff of the food is pretty adorable.

"Dig in," you say around your mouthful of food, locking eyes with Jisoo when Aera jumps at the opportunity to follow your instructions. You never have to tell her twice when it comes to food.

"Yep, definitely related."

Jisoo laughs at your comment, reaching over top of Aera to flick you in the forehead. She shrugs at your pained exclamation, uttering a nonchalant "Sorry, not sorry," as the two of you crack up together.

----

"Y/N, how the hell did you manage to do that?" Jisoo whispers, not bothering to censor herself when she sees Aera fast asleep in your arms. It's not like she could hear her anyway.

"She was already kinda tired when she got here; I just made sure to get that last little bit of energy out with the games. Have you forgotten that I know a thing or two about kids?" You tease, turning to her with a smile when you finish walking up the short staircase.

"You don't understand: usually it takes us hours to settle her down. She's just a totally different person around you."

"Must be my awesomeness."

"Hmm, must be," Jisoo hums, quietly opening her bedroom door for you and watching as you carefully lay Aera down. You tuck her under the blankets with care, making sure to brush the hair out of her face and adjust her pillow a bit. Jisoo leans against the doorframe, adding the scene before her to her list of reasons for loving you. Seeing you in such a domestic situation gives her baby fever, and she has to push the persistent feeling away.

"Ready?" You whisper with one last look over your shoulder, giving Jisoo your undivided attention once you confirm that Aera's alright.

"Let's do it," she says, pulling the door to but not latching it. The two of you will be in the living room, just down the hall, and you want to be able to hear her in case she needs something. So responsible.

You take in the dorm as Jisoo leads you towards your destination, amazed at how much bigger it is than yours and Ryujin's. This one has separate rooms equipped with their own personal bathrooms, a decent kitchen, and, of course, a living area. Clearly, having ties to the school and being president of the student council come with some major perks. Your socked feet pad against the hardwood floor, and you close what little distance is left between Jisoo and yourself to press your body against her back, wrapping your arms around her. She lets out a little noise of surprise, but doesn't protest; she tucks one of her hands into your clasped ones and uses the other to rub your forearm.

A few moments later you plop down onto the couch and get comfortable on the cushions. Jisoo digs around in her bag that leans against the tv stand, searching for the script of her upcoming production. Her shirt rides up slightly, giving you a perfect view of her beautifully sculpted stomach, and her skin looks ethereal as it glows in the soft lamplight of the room. Embarrassed for admiring her in such a way, you avert your gaze, failing to notice how she subtly bites her lip as she approaches you; she planned that little show, and it worked.

"Okay, so here's the scoring sheet," she hands you a semi-formal looking paper, along with a pencil and clipboard to use as a stabilizer. "I'll be reading from the first few pages on my own, but I was wondering if you'd fill in for the male lead for some of the other parts? It's a lot easier to get into character if I have someone's energy to feed off of."

You smile at how cute she sounded with her little rambled request, and nod. "Of course, Jisoo. I doubt I'll be any good, though." She releases a sigh at that, happy to have you agree; her plan is coming along nicely, but there's always room for things to go wrong.

"I'm sure you're better than you think."

"Stop sucking up, Chu. Flattery won't make me raise your grade," you warn, pointing the pencil at her sternly. Your tone sends a shiver down her spine, though it goes unnoticed by you.

"Let's just get started." She concludes, doing her best to keep from getting too flustered under your already watchful eye.

----

Her show is well underway, caught somewhere towards the end of act two, and you're enthralled by the performance she's giving. The paper that once rested in your lap is marked up with comments of praise and proud annotations to accompany your high scoring, though now it lays forgotten about on the coffee table, serving no purpose any longer. You finished all of the required sections necessary for your peer review, and now you're just enjoying the journey that Jisoo is continuing to take you on.

You look back up into her eyes after reading off the lines of the character you're filling in for, looking completely unskilled next to the pure talent that she's exuding. She stands from the couch, looking down at you with an exasperated expression as she remains in character.

"You don't get it!" She raises her voice slightly, though not loud enough to wake Aera. Even while in the intense mindset she has to be in for her character, she keeps one foot in the reality of this world, making sure to behave appropriately.

"Enlighten me, then." You stand and retort, shifting a bit closer to her after reciting your line.

"Only when I'm with you do I feel true happiness. Your kind eyes bring me comfort like no other; I'm safe in your arms. For you, my love," she pauses, her eyes brimming with tears from the emotional words she's spent so much time rehearsing. "...there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do." Your breath is held tightly in your throat, and your hands subconsciously grip onto the material of your jeans.

Only now do you realize how close the two of you have migrated to one another; she's merely a breath away, so close you can feel the warmth radiating from her. You swallow thickly, feeling your nerves come alive with every second that passes in heated silence, neither of you knowing what to do now. You've lost the desire to read your next line, and she doesn't seem too upset by that fact. Her eyes slowly scan over your features, and the lovesick look in them makes you question if she's still in character or slipping out of it.

After her gaze darts down to your lips and she licks her own without even realizing it, you seriously begin hoping for the latter of the two options.

She searches your face for any sign of refusal as she leans in closer, now bringing her arms up to wrap around your waist and lightly ball the material of your shirt up into her fists. Your hands rest on her shoulders, and you glide your fingertips over her jawline. A singular nod is the last form of consent that you give her before she pulls you closer.

Her lips ghost over yours, receiving some of the vanilla balm you applied earlier; her breath hitches when you tug at the collar of her university sweater, teasingly taking her bottom lip between your teeth. She wants to savor this moment, so she fights against her urge to dive right in and get lost in you.

Within seconds, she's kicking herself for that decision.

"Auntie? Y/N?" Aera calls sleepily from just around the corner, making the two of you spring away from each other. When she appears less than a second later, you realize how close you had been to getting caught. Jisoo refuses to meet your gaze when you look towards her, and that simple action disheartens you a bit.

"Hey, sweetheart. Bad dream?" You ask, using your inference skills after noticing the way that she's clutching her stuffed bunny close to her chest. Her lip trembles as she nods, and the sight breaks your heart. Quickly, you pick her up again, assuring her that she's safe and that you'd slay any monster that dared to hurt her, even in her dreams. A small smile tugs at her lips, and she brings a fist up to rub her eye. "How about this: I'll do a quadruple check of the room for you, and stay with you until you fall asleep. Sound good?"

She utters a tired, "Yes, Y/N-yah", before laying her head on your shoulder and waving a goodbye towards Jisoo as you take her back to the room.

Four sweeps of the room and one fight with a ghost later, you tuck her in again and lay a sweet kiss to her forehead. "Love you," she mumbles lazily, making your heart melt. Kids say that phrase quickly, without even realizing the weight that it has, but you're always glad to accept whatever they imagine it to be. Whether she loves you for playing with her, tucking her in, or defending her honor against imaginary monsters, you don't really care all that much -- she loves you in the ways that she knows how, and that's all that matters.

"I love you, too, Aera. Sleep well." You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and settle against the wall, prepared to come through on your promise.

----

"Hey," you start, albeit a bit awkwardly.

"Hey," Jisoo returns, pushing her leftovers from the restaurant around her plate half-heartedly. You approach the marble countertop that she sits behind, silently begging for her to look up at you.

"Should we talk about earlier?" You quietly ask, picking at imaginary imperfections on the surface of the countertop.

"What about it?"

"We practically kissed--"

"It was in the script to do so, Y/N." She says, finally looking up at you. She sounds a bit hostile now, like she's getting defensive for some unknown reason.

"Oh," the simple utterance is all you can manage, seeing as how your brain is running a mile a minute. You want to ask if it meant anything else to her -- if she would've taken it farther, had Aera not walked in -- but you don't. Her tone serves as enough of an answer, and you're not sure you could stand to hear her verbalize your fears anyway.

"Well I guess I should go, then." You retract your hand and put it in your pocket, realizing how stupid you were for thinking she could like you back. She doesn't; she was just in need of a helping hand tonight, and you offered that. You shouldn't have tried to turn it into anything that it wasn't.

Hearing the disappointment in your voice makes her want to confess right then and there, but something still holds her back -- some force is yelling at her to keep her feelings hidden for fear of rejection. "I can drive you."

You shake your head. "Nah, it's okay. I'll have Ryujin come get me. You can't leave Aera here and I wouldn't want to have to wake her up just for you to drive me across campus." Jisoo agrees, realizing that she didn't even think about that at first.

"Goodnight, Jisoo." You say, heading off towards the front door. She returns the gesture, reminding you to be safe as she locks it behind you and watches you dial up your roommate's number. Before long, she pulls into one of the parking spaces in front of the dorm, and the two of you drive away.

Click Here For Part 2

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alyssadeliv · 3 years ago

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The Forgotten One

First Previous

Chapter 10

Chosen One.

Marianne Al Ghul.

Mari.

Pixie.

The Lily of the Desert.

Marinette Dupain.

Ladybug.

The Great Guardian.

And now she would eventually become Marianne Wayne.

She had had multiple names and lived for what felt like a hundred lives, all very different, but all of them with one thing in common. Damian.

From the moment he was born until her first death, she lived for him. Always there to aid and protect him at all costs. At all costs. She lived for him. The only time she had something for herself, it was taken from her. So she wasn't good with owning things. Her whole life nothing was truly hers. Damian was the League’s. The Miraculous were the Order’s. She was divided between two organizations. Never truly belonging to one or the other. She ached to belong, so it was very important that she proved herself to her father. She knew she was never enough for her mother, she was indeed the second option. Useful enough to not be discarded, but not the heir she most desired.

So now. Standing in front of her Father, having imagined this moment her whole life, she had to admit, she was scared. Would he reject her too? Would she be enough?

“Father… This is Marianne, your daughter.” Damian presents her. She doesn't know how to act so she stays in place, awaiting instructions or directions, but still getting the time to analyze the man in front of her.

He was taller than she imagined, but intimidating with his Batman attire just as she had pictured. He looked at her in a cautious way, as if at any moment she would combust into flames. She kept her eye on him, looking for some sort of sign on how to act. It took some time but eventually, his expression turned to a mesmerized one.

“You look like my mother…” He whispered, reaching to her with his right hand but never touching her. His face in awe. “How… I-”

He turned his head to Damian as if he could explain more. In his face a lost and anxious expression. She could see that her little brother wanted to comfort their father, but didn't know how. So he stayed at her side, hoping that his presence was enough. Clearly, it wasn’t.

“I need to think'' And with that he turns and walks out of the cave, never even sparing a glance back. The only thing that can be heard are his footsteps, and when those are gone, an awkward silence installs.

Only then does Marianne let go of the air she didn’t even know she was holding. With not even a nod of his head father had dismissed her. He was similar to Mother after all. Only ever interaction with her if needed, just to make sure she was still alive. She could deal with that, she knew what to expect. That actually calms her more than it should. The uncertainty was still there, but at least she knew that deep down he could care for her in the future as her mother did.

“Daeh Washanuh” She tells her brother when she sees his indignant face. Her father needed time, she understood that, so for now she would let him be.

She still felt a bit weak, having spent all her energy between fighting her brother and mending her injured body. Damian must have seen said exhaustion because he instantly went to her side, to support her. With her body pressed against his side, and a strong arm crossing her waist holding her she admired how much he had grown. He was taller than her now. Stronger too. Gone was the 10 year old that followed her around. In his place was a slight better version of that person. She gives him a reassuring smile, trying to transmit her gratitude and appreciation without words, the same way she would do before they were separated. She could only hope they still understood each other after years of no contact.

Damian chooses that instant to start introducing the others. The redhead in the wheelchair looks at her with interest, as if trying to solve a puzzle. She doesn't seem to be judging her like the guy in the red leather jacket with a shocked expression is, so she counted that as a win. The dark haired teen that she knocked out a few days ago looks like he’s seen better days, and by the dark spots under his eyes and the large cup of what she assumed to be coffee in his hand, he was an insomniac, like her. The two still wearing their full costumes start to remove their masks, the one in blue has a calm expression, but the other is still very much shocked.

“Habibti... This is Richard Grayson, Timothy Drake, Barbara Gordon, and Jason-”

“Todd.” She smiles. “Long time no see.”

How could she ever forget those blue eyes that hunted her dreams. He was a big part of her past, and she would always be able to spot him in a crowd.

She can almost remember the first time she met him. At only 13 she was tasked with training this overemotional 16-year-old. Let’s just say their relationship wasn’t good at the beginning. He carried too much anger inside of him to allow him to listen to what she was trying to teach him. He was hot-headed and stubborn, and most of the time she just wanted to throw her dagger at him to see him bleed. But after some time they got close. Closer than they should.

At that time Grandfather had intensified Damian’s training so she wasn’t able to see him much, instead, she found herself around Jason a lot. They confided in each other. She gave pieces of herself to him that she never gave anyone else, only for him to be ripped from her life as punishment.

Last she heard her mother had dealt with him. She assumed she had killed him. But seeing him in front of her, healthy and very much alive was a relief. She had mourned him for a long time, but the joy she feels in knowing he was alive was immense.

“Pixie!” Jason speaks for the first time, by now he already got up from his seat, and is now standing in front of her. Different from her Father's reaction, he seems to need to touch her, to guarantee that she is real and truly there. Confused about how she knew his older adopted sibling, Damian backs away from his sister, too stunned to properly comprehend what was happening. She now was using Jason as support, feeling the heat of his body next to her’s, just proving that he was really there.

Pixie was a nickname he gave her when they first met after he discovered she could do magic. At the time she did not understand the reference, not having grown up with fairytales, but after he patiently explained to her about fairies she could see where he was coming from. Small and Magic. That was enough to describe her. And secretly she was pleased to have a nickname especially made for her. “I told you we would see each other again…” He says with a smug smirk on his face. Caressing her cheek with his hand. Oh, how she missed that look on his face.

“Am I the only one that’s freaking out with this scene in front of us?” The spell is broken by the voice of the blue hero. Richard. The first adopted son of Bruce Wayne. She knew a bit about him, when she was younger a part of her training was inspired by his stunts on the field. “How the hell do you know her, Jaybird? Bruce’s secret love child?”

He still holds her, more for support than anything else. It’s been a long time since they’ve been together, but their friendship hopefully still remains. She takes him not letting her go, as a sign that she wasn’t the only one affected by this unexpected reunion. When she first arrived at Gotham she knew she would inevitably meet her extended family when she finally sought her brother. And yes, it came to no surprise that Jason Todd was once her father’s ward. But remember that she did believe him to be dead. And if that was truly the case she would carry her secrets to her grave. But apparently, it was time to come clean to her brother. Her relation with Jason was the one thing she ever kept from Damian. And she could see from the look on his face that he was very confused.

She detaches herself from Jason and tries to reach her little brother, but the day's activity finally takes a toll on her body and she trips and almost collapses on the floor if not for the two that come to her rescue. Jason being the one closer to her catches most of her weight, but Damian has both her hands into his own.

“I'm fine…” She tries, but by the look on both their faces, they don’t believe her one bit.

“Dick, why don't we leave the rest of the interrogation for tomorrow? When Bruce can participate.” Barbara speaks for the first time. She pushes herself away from the table and starts making her way out of the cave in her wheelchair. It seems that her words have power, because with only a grunt and a side glance and he leaves as well. Sometime between her father leaving and Jason making himself known Timothy fell asleep, face down on the table in what could only be described as an uncomfortable position.

If she wasn’t so exhausted she would have questioned how easily Damian’s family accepted to wait until tomorrow for answers. If it was her she would want them as soon as possible. No matter what.

“Come, I’ll show you to my room” Damian removes her from Jason’s arms and starts directing her through the same path all the others took out of the cave. Tomorrow she would come back and admire all the technology and weapons the Bat Cave provided, but for now, she was content in being almost carried to a comfy bed. After almost a month of chasing Gabriel Agreste around the globe and mostly sleeping when she could, wherever she could, just the thought of sleeping in an actual mattress brought her immense joy. “I promise to not ask questions today, but I need an explanation for the display of affection you gave Todd downstairs.” His tone is stern and she knows he meant that.

"Deal." He nods, accepting my answer.

We walk through a long corridor for quite some time, but eventually, we stop in front of a door. Damian opens it and carries me to the bed. He sits me in his bed and goes to his wardrobe. While he does that she admires the size of his room, which is big, just as it was in the League, but here she can see bits of his personality. Photos on the wall, drawings on the tables. She is happy that he gets to explore his part of himself. When he comes backs he hands a change of clothes to her, and without saying anything he makes his way to what Marianne assumes is an adjacent bathroom. Leaving her room to change alone. He gave her a black long-sleeved shirt and black pajama bottoms that were definitely too small to git him now, and she can only question as to why he has it still.

She removes her attire and changes into the offered clothes, but not before inspecting the place where there was supposed to be a wound. She was healed, as expected, but her dried blood still clings to her abdomen. By now Damian finally comes back, wearing an outfit similar to hers and carrying a damp towel.

“I thought you would want to clean yourself of the blood.” He hands her the towel. She in return gives him a sincere smile, accepting the offered object and immediately removing all traces of blood from her body.

While she did that, he sat on the other side of the bed, removing some pillows and getting under the covers. Marianne leaves the towel on the floor beside the bed and carefully puts one knife on the bedside table and her dagger under her pillow. Old habits die hard after all.

Damian observes her with a nostalgic look on his face but otherwise remains silent. He turns the light off by the switch near his bed and the bedroom immediately gets dark, the only source of light coming through the closed windows. As she gets under the covers she feels his body getting closer to hers. And she can’t help but smile again, remembering how many times they did this exact same thing during their childhood without their mother knowing. Or at least they thought she didn't know, not knowing she merely allowed them this simple thing.

“Aishtaqt lak ya 'akhi” She repeats the same words she said to him when they were on the rooftop earlier that night.

Her only answer is his hand finding hers and giving it a squeeze.

Final chapter of part one! Do you like the stoy so far? After a lot of messages from you guys I decided to continue with a part 2 of this story. Still haven’t decided how long it would be, probably about 10 more chapters but who nows. Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, its was finals week at my university and you know how it is.

Let’s hope I get more time to write! Thank you all fot the support do far! You are all amazing!

It curently 3 am so sorry if there’s any mistakes!

Taglist: @macncheesemonster @jumpingjoy82 @silversaphire12 @jinx-jade @swiftie-miraculer13 @greatcatblaze @megaafangirl @ramos123 @theamityislife @maskedpainter @toodaloo-kangaroo @nyx-in-line @ketchupqueenboiiii @blackroserelina @lozzybowe @user00000003 @kashlyn @msshadows97 @ira-sairain @stackofrandomstuff @myazael @frieddonutsweets @asrainterstellar @our-preciousss @laurcad123 @nyaabinch @rverfades @thefangirlwholiterallydies @astoriaandromeda @unnamed2357 @little-lady-bird @imdaqueenie @meismu @dorkus-minimus @a4-machete @arty-shadow-morningstar @catthhay @sizzling-fairy-oil @poodapup @charme-de-malchan @jayjayspixiepop @fusser90 @adrestar @iloontjeboontje @buginetye @macncheesemonster @messymessyml @redbullgivescaswings @queer-illusion @moonlightstar64 @kking13 @lupagrimm @dorkus-minimus @roguishredaxion @meow-6296 @galla02006 @samiamack @readingalldaysleepingallnight @twsssmlmaa @ihatecomingupwithusernameswtf @alexizlazy @lady-bee-fechin @mizzy-pop @alcoholic-barney @ladyqnoirr @wingl3ss @vroomtaka

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belit0 · 4 years ago

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sparky7-2

Ok so I just had a god level headcanon, remember when Indra said he wanted heirs but reader is like Ehhh? Imagine them pulling an uno on him with a jutsu that makes it so that Indra gets pregnant instead 😂😂😂

Mpreg Indra would be so cute :3

Just another part of their power war XD

LMAO, I HAD A LOT OF FUN DOING THIS REQUEST. I kinda smell a series coming out of this🧙🏻‍♀️🖤✨

Also @sparky7-2 , you had asked if Indra would be tender with his children, so here is a small and false demonstration before his twins are born🤧.]

“…[Y/N]…”

“Yep?”

“I want kids.”

“Nope.”

“Come on, you said we were coming to this village to get pregnant… it’s been two months and you keep making me cum outside.”

“ What did you say, dear? Get pregnant? The two of us? That sounds like teamwork to me, I’m going to be the one who has to carry a huge belly for who knows how much.”

“…”

"That’s what I thought, now be a good husband and-”

“I want kids.”

With arms folded across his chest, eyes narrowed, and to top it all off with the Sharingan activated, he refused to let you speak.

“Fuck you.”

The words came out of your mouth with a smile planted on your lips as an idea popped into your mind at the persistence of your man.

“I. want. Kids.”

“You know what? Do you want children so badly? There you go, Indra. Have a good ride!”

Making some quick hand seals, you resist laughing when the most bizarre image ever seen appeared in front of your eyes. The fearsome Indra Ōtsutsuki, with a gigantic belly that looked like it was about to explode.

An anger that he only dedicated to his worst enemies appeared in his face when he realized his new state, which only increased the appeal of the whole situation. He couldn’t fight you even if he wanted to, because although it was all the work of one of your Genjutsus, in his perspective, it was even more real. If he was careful and responsible about anything, it was when it came to you, and now that his body was convinced that he was carrying a life, he would never attempt to counter that.

“Well dear, it really suits you! You look radiant, and as much as I’d like to stay and annoy you some more, one of us has to run this place… Enjoy a little bit of your own medicine. I love you, Indra.”

When he spoke, his hands were resting on his belly, analyzing the new state of his body. His eyes didn’t let go of that big lump, he didn’t even look at you when you walked up to the front door and opened it. You expected some kind of attack or something, but he seemed immersed, enjoying the situation. Noticing his attitude, he said a couple of words, playing the role of an angry Indra in front of one of your evil tricks, but knowing him you could see that there wasn’t a bit of intention behind his words.

“I… fucking hate you so much… [Y/N] GET BACK HERE AND TAKE THIS OUT OF ME NOW”

With a little laugh, you went outside and closed the door, giving him privacy. Maybe with this little game, you would finally gain more time before having to carry that huge bundle yourself…

“Maybe later…”

So he was left alone in the big house while you went off to tend to business as the village leader. Looking at his tummy and passing his hands affectionately over it, he spoke in a low, sweet voice.

“What are we going to do now that mommy is gone heh? Are you hungry? We can work that out, daddy will take care of it”.

Without taking his hands off his body for a second, he went to the kitchen, where a large breakfast was prepared, as his appetite was suddenly gigantic. He sat down on a chair and put all the food in front of him on the table, eating with animosity and joy, something unbecoming of him in the mornings. Indra is a person who can only swallow tea at that time of day.

“What do you think? Do you like it? Mommy says I have a good hand in the kitchen … Should I give you a name? Is it too soon? I haven’t discussed it with [Y/N]… I don’t know your gender either… but I’m sure you’ll be a boy. Big strong daddy’s boy, right? You really need a name, it is inappropriate for me to address my son in this undignified manner, hang in there … Indra JR. for now.

Forgetting about breakfast and worrying about naming his unrealistic unborn child, Indra went to the front door of the house and opened it, only poking his head out. Careful that no one saw his body, he called out to the first person he saw walking near his property.

"Y-Ye-e-s In-ndr-a-Sama?”

“Go to the main building and call [Y/N]-Sama. Tell her that I am the one who needs her and that it is an emergency. Be assertive, villager, and don’t show this disgusting fear in front of her unless you want to die.”

Without saying anything, and almost crying, the man ran out to find you.

Suddenly Indra’s whole body began to feel tired, heavy as if it were not his. Understanding the exhaustion of the pregnancy, he decided to go to bed. Closing the door, he used the walls as his main support to reach his destination, and once there he let himself fall heavily.

He discovered that he could not untie his boots, as his oversized belly did not allow him to bend over and reach them. Giving up the task, he sought a comfortable position. This took him about fifteen minutes. From both sides, the boy (for he was convinced it was a boy) put uncomfortable pressure on many things which Indra did not know were inside his body. On his back, the child crushes his spine. Finally, he chooses to place his pillow and yours on his back and set against the back of the bed.

While waiting for your arrival, he began to caress his belly, while humming a song.

“We are going to love you very much Indra JR. When you arrive, mommy and daddy are going to protect you from all the bad guys and-”

“In everyone’s eyes, we are the bad guys and we are not going to call it Indra JR.”

Interrupting the monologue, you entered the room with an ear-to-ear smile. The image you came across was strangely adorable, and you could imagine what it would be like if things were reversed if that baby were real and that pregnancy was yours.

“That’s why I called you [Y/N], I didn’t want to decide without you because it seemed unwise, this is teamwork, but I have some thoughts - you were about to sit on the bed next to him - could you please take off my boots? I can’t reach my feet.”

Fluttering your eyes and with a mocking grin, you complied with his request, while he redirected his full attention to his fake unborn, stroking his belly and quietly singing that song again.

“I never heard you sing, dear… Where did you get that song?”

“My grandmother used to sing it to me when I was a child and I couldn’t fall asleep. My bro- … Ashura… never had any trouble falling asleep so… I think only I know it. I want my children to know it too.”

“…Indra…”

“Hm?”

“I want kids.”

“I was really hoping you’d say that. Undo this Genjutsu and let’s get started.”

#indra otsutsuki x reader #indra otsutsuki #indra x reader #otsutsuki indra #naruto shippuden #naruto imagines #indra imagines

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necrosin · 1 year ago

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❝ right, because the picture of bravery is wearing an itchy, gross shirt, �� he'll keep it, of course he will, he cleaned it even and left it to dry hanging in the shower, it'll be their little souvenir of this impromptu trip to kyoto together in the name of saving a woman and then letting a girl who they're leading to the pyre experience life and happiness and joy before she's sacrificed atop it. it's for the greater good, he knows / but it COMFORTS HIM MORE to know they're of one mind : that if she chooses life, that if she doesn't wish to become one with tengen and thus lose herself entirely, then they'll take her away and, probably, become enemies of the jujutsu community. at least for a time. ❝ you'll live. ❞

satoru will live because suguru won't accept an alternative —— he's never considered either of them dying, not really, they've only ever been in SO MUCH DANGER BEFORE and together nothing is impossible, together they can do anything, this is an unshakable belief that suguru holds. yet, the idea of satoru dying is unacceptable. suguru won't let it happen, therefore it won't happen / just as it's the same in reverse, he knows. he ignores the reflection, because yes, he would do the same if he were able to / he is in a manner of speaking, though having curses summoned is minimal drain on his cursed energy reserves, to begin with. ❝ they're around, ❞ a small shadowy portral appears next to satoru as a curse, small and rather diminutive, sticks its head out to bump against the side of satoru's head before disappearing again. ❝ they're hiding, mostly, ❞ tucked away in corners, hidden in shadows, drifting around the perimeter, with suguru checking in on them frequently. ❝ which i know you know, ❞ six eyes see all, whatever.

frown gives way to the slightest of smiles, silly affection rearing its head. satoru's head aches terribly when he uses infinity or any of his abilities this way, they both know it, the way that they know that suguru's throat burns when he devours too many curses, the way they know that the taste of sewage and rot lingers at the back of his tongue constantly. ❝ oh? and how can i make it worth it, exactly? ❞ satoru pliant and content is a satoru that reminds him of springtime days spent beneath cherry blossom trees, satoru dropping his head into suguru's lap and demanding attention, which he always gets. instead of a head in his lap, though, suguru allows himself to be pulled between satoru's legs, his knees bumping against the armchair cushion as his other hand mirrors positioning and he massages gently at satoru's scalp, fingers moving in small circular motions.

❝ you know, if i'm making you tired, ❞ he pitches his voice just quieter, a soft carrying, satoru's forehead practically pressed against his belly, love tasting like sugary candies against the back of his throat, driving away rot for a time, ❝ you might as well shower, since your only reason to not is that it'll make you tired, ❞ he takes of his hands away briefly, shaking out sand before returning to his self—ascribed task, satoru's skin and hair soft beneath his touch in spite of their active day.

❛ coward. ❜ red was hardly his color, but suguru suited blue. suited most things he wore with an air that he was too good to consider such mundane things: even dressed in his garish joke, he made satoru blush, the irony of it all pinpointing a maturity beyond their age. foolishly in love, infatuated with the sight of something new, he was determined to see him every way he could —— a solid reminder of humanity, he'd silently fawn across him sun-burnt, freshly showered, bruised, or bleeding. blindfolded, he'd still think suguru was beautiful. ❛ bah, deflection. you wound me. ❜

he mirrors suguru's frown, mocking concern against any better judgement he can still formulate. ❛ you'd be doing the same thing, if you could. ❜ and he knows it's true, because suguru is always so protective: perhaps it wasn't really necessary, the strain behind his eyes, the pressure swelling in his head. his best friend would sooner lose himself before anything happened to the girls in the other room, a prevailing innocence to do good that satoru clung to, a compass guiding them both against the cruelness of the world and bad things manifest. ❛ i'm surprised i haven't seen more of your critters running about. ❜ he considers them fondly, as much as he can given their nature, encouraged only by their proximity to suguru; he'd eaten them, housed them, called to them and it was charming, in a sick way satoru had long since grown used to.

❛ i won't get brain damage. i've held it before for longer —— with less reason. ❜ much younger then, cross-legged on soft bed sheets; a wild, sustained boredom brought about by living in luxury few would ever know and resenting it for no real reason. he'd been denied something, something small and insignificant no doubt, and pushed the world back with childish defiance. how long had it been? how many hours? an expanse of nothing wrapped around him, consoling frustrated tears: the lack-of was always such a strange thing, stranger now there was a need for it. ❛ as nice as it sounds, i can't. it'll make me tired. ❜

as if he isn't already, the lull of soft fingers, gently passing across his temples and pressing across his forehead like suguru knows where the ache settles. ideally, he'd press his thumbs into his eyes until they softly gave way, color dancing against the dark before the pain bled out ———— that's a bit dramatic though. ❛ you're making me tired. ❜ mumbled out, leaning further, hands reaching to pull suguru into the space between his legs. a craving for something, the world aside from him for longer than he's used to; the rush of air conditioning alights his skin, suguru warm and real touching him, a sigh falls from his barely parted lips before he can stop it. ❛ i'm leaving us open to failure, so you have to make it worth it. ❜ mostly joking, he smiles up, the weakness worth it if he's lavished in attention… maybe.

#GETOU，in char.#GETOU，devouring.#mastabahs #mastabahs : satoru.#infinity must just be the worst like. truly.

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bbytetsu · 4 years ago

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Astrology Analysis: Kageyama Tobio

☼ capricorn ☽ taurus ☿ capricorn ♀︎ sagittarius ♂︎ virgo

Masterlist

━Personality:

before we get into everything, there’s an ongoing theme here: Kageyama has a lot of contrast within his chart. his earth related placements make him very rigid, grounded, and uptight. however, he also has a lot of specific aspects/placements (including his fire Venus) that gives him an unpredictable and spontaneous edge. this is also something that drives his play style: he is able to combine incredible precision and technique with innovative and risky plays.

with his Capricorn Sun, he’s ambitious but realistic about his goals, and he puts in the work to make things happen. because many people can’t relate to how ambitious he is, he tends to be a bit of a lone wolf with workaholic tendencies. however, he’s very loyal to the friends he does have and will not put up a front with them.

Taurus Moon: this doubles his ability to persevere. he has a soft side to him, but it doesn’t come out as traditionally sweet given his cap sun.

he’s snarky and straight up mean sometimes LMAO. this makes his way of flirting a bit confusing: he can definitely be a little awkward while flirting, or he’ll flirt with you by making fun of you. while he’s not a smooth talker, his body language will reveal all the feelings he has towards you!

Mercury in Capricorn: he’s logical and notices EVERYTHING. Mercury in Capricorn individuals also tend to channel all their energy into pursuing one subject/goal, and this is why Kageyama can think quickly and resourcefully on the court but sucks at school LOL

Mars in Virgo: he gets shit done! yes, he’s critical and complains a lot (“Hinata, boke!”), but maybe rightfully so since he’s an efficiency machine. he needs structure and methodology to work best, shown by how he trains with water bottles when learning to set for the new quick attack.

if you’re just tryna relax, steer clear of him lmfao. he’s literally the opposite of chill, he gets antsy if he’s not doing something.

━In a relationship:

Kageyama needs more space than most because of his Venus in Sagittarius. given his passion for volleyball, he needs to feel like he has an identity outside of the relationship. he loves his freedom so he would prefer a partner who is equally as independent as him.

he’s attracted to individualism and passion in people. he loves hearing you ramble on about the things you’re passionate about (even if he doesn’t understand what you’re saying) or seeing you in your element

i think he’s the type of lover who thinks that the beauty of romance isn’t in needing each other, but in choosing to be each other. every day he spends with you, he is making the choice to be with you, to love you, and he hopes that you feel that way, too. in other words, he knows that falling in love is effortless, but staying in love requires effort, which is willing to put in when he commits to you.

with his Moon in Taurus, he’s very romantic and sweet in his own way when he’s in a relationship. though he might not commit to anyone easily due to his Venus in Sagittarius, once he does commit to you, he’s in it for the long run.

Sextile between Venus and Uranus: he has romantic intentions, but the way he expresses them can be unpredictable or even little bit detached. for example, he may not be traditionally lovey-dovey with his words, nor is he the clingy type, but he’ll surprise you with small gifts that remind him of you, or take you on spontaneous dates.

his biggest love language is spending quality time with you aka going out on dates! he loves staying active (and could even be quite outdoorsy) rather than staying at home. think arcade dates, rock climbing, bowling, going on hikes, even just walking around the mall—for him, it’s a joy to experience the world with his partner in crime.

being in a comfortable physical space with you is important to him, and coupled with his Mars in Virgo, he definitely values organization in the home (we’ve all seen his room 😳) when spending time at home with you, he wants all his attention to be on you and not his surroundings!

━Sex/Love:

i gotta say… i did not see this coming!! the balance between uptightness/rigidity and fluidity/spontaneity in his chart translates to him to being a gentleman in the streets but a FREAK in the sheets!

with his Venus in Sagittarius, Kageyama could hook up with you multiple times before choosing to enter a relationship with you. he doesn’t get attached easily, which makes him the ideal friend with benefits.

but even though he can have sex with no strings attached, with his Trine between Moon and Mars, he might not be able to keep it up for long. he’d much rather have sex with someone he has feelings for.

CALLING ALL SWITCHES N DOMS 😤 he can be quite sexual, and he likes being with a partner with similarly strong needs and great willpower. he loves a little competition in bed and would do well as a switch or a sub. (as someone who spends a lot of his time being the “control tower” of his team, he loves relinquishing control in the bedroom and watching YOU take control of him!!!)

and with his Mars in Virgo, he’s going to spoil you rotten 100% 🥵

you know how kageyama makes sure to learn how to best set to each of his teammates? well he’s THAT observant in bed too, always paying close attention to your reactions and memorizing your sensitive spots or favorite positions. once he’s got all your needs and quirks down, you bet he will exploit it to pleasure you to the fullest degree.

he’s not a fan of quickies. he wants to take his time with you so that you can feel the best you can. he also needs privacy, and especially with his Moon in Taurus, where you’re having sex is very important to him. he would rather do it on a bed or at least a clean surface, like a kitchen countertop (and not the bathroom stall of a club).

with his Sextile between Venus and Uranus: he’s down to experiment in bed! tell him all your kinks and he’d have the time of his life trying everything before deciding for himself whether he’s into it or not.

━Favorite aspects:

Trine between Mars and Uranus: this is the aspect responsible for Kageyama’s famous play style! he’s not afraid to try new things and is able to push the boundaries in everything he does. he’s impulsive but confident (making his setter dumps so difficult to predict). because of this aspect, being with him feels exciting—he’s always growing and finding new ways to keep things fresh.

━Negative aspects:

Square between Sun and Saturn: this aspect perfectly describes Kageyama’s challenges as a player and a person. he struggles with expressing his true feelings and tends to censor his own thoughts instead. Atsumu recognizes this when he calls Kageyama a “goody two shoes.” this bad habit will affect in his relationships, too. when he’s unhappy with how things are going, he’ll bite his tongue in fear of losing you. however, given his strong emotions, he won’t be able to bottle his feelings up forever and will eventually explode.

#ALL U KAGS FUCKERS THIS ONE'S FOR U!!!#kageyama tobio #kageyama #kageyama headcanons #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!! kageyama #haikyuu kageyama #haikyuu headcanons #kageyama imagine

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glitteryglitter · 4 years ago

Text

3+5 (Foxface x fem! reader)

𝙰𝙽: This has two endings so you get to choose which one you want! The first one is all angst and pining, the other one is kind of fluffy. I know that I love a cheerful ending, but not everyone does.

Also, the reader is from district 3.

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: slight angst, violence, and death

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: Foxface x fem! reader

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 3,644

๑*˚🍓˚*๑

No, no, no. this couldn't be happening. It just couldn't

You stared in horror as your friend and ally, Foxface from district 5 emerged in a horrific outfit on a chariot.

Surprisingly, your feeling of absolute desolation was not from Foxface's outfit or even your own.

Both of which resembled something the Tin Man would wear if he'd donned couture.

Instead, it was a realization.

You would have to kill her.

Allow me to explain why!

You had, like countless others from district 3 in years past had been selected to enter in The Hunger Games and a few days ago, you'd formally met a new friend.

You'd sworn you would have no allies but unfortunately, your friendly personality and cheerful attitude made that a virtually impossible feat.

An extreme problem that as we all know, only results in heartbreak after one's allies are killed.

This certain person, A sly girl from district 5 who was absolutely amazing in every way was someone who you couldn't stop thinking of.

Stealthy, kind, and absolutely, mind-bogglingly good at identifying plants. She was also so smart, with gorgeous amber eyes that always seemed to take your breath away.

Wait-what? Since when did you think about her eyes? You brushed it off.

After all, you had bigger problems and worries.

You smiled placidly and waved to the crowds, all the while stewing over your predicament.

๑🍓๑

You looked over your shoulder at Foxface.

"Are you okay?"

You knew she had been nervous about this, you didn't blame her. You were too.

It was incredibly stressful and you had seen what the others could do.

Even you felt like you didn't stand a chance.

she nodded and smiled at you which for some unknown reason caused your heart to flutter.

Waves of worries crashed through your mind.

What would you do if you were the only two who remained? what would you do if she died?

What would you do in general? You knew you couldn't kill, Finch vowed not to, and you knew there were careers trained to do exactly that.

You were reminded of the gravity of the situation as even more tributes joined the parade.

Only one would live.

Your surroundings swirled in front of your eyes.

Your knees felt like jelly, you would have toppled over if it wasn't for your district partner who had grabbed you before you fell.

Y/n are you okay? The rather mousy-looking boy murmured as he firmly held on to your wrist.

"Yes, I'm fine." You smiled appreciatively. You'd be sad to see him go.

Your mind went blank once more as the parade continued.

Finch's mind was still racing though.

Through the next few days, your friendship grew and you became inseparable.

She couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed.

Every time you smiled at her, she felt a warmth in her chest.

She told herself it was the joy of a true friendship.

She wasn't far off.

It was in fact, at lunch, the day before the actual games that she realized what was happening.

๑🍓๑

Foxface had just sat down at a table, you flopped down beside her and promptly started crying into your bowl of salad.

As she pulled you into a hallway, the careers looked at one another, sharing the same thought; What was wrong?

Of course, they all knew exactly what was wrong, they were going to be put in a fight to the death the very next day, but no one really felt like saying it.

"Y/n what's wrong? You can tell me anything, I promise."

You sniffed a few times and shook your head. "It's okay, I'm fine. I know I'm probably one of the least prepared people here and I don't stand a chance. I guess I'm just a little bit nervous for tomorrow."

That may have been the biggest understatement of the century.

At the moment, you'd rather eat an entire bag of coffee grounds than go into the games, but unfortunately, it wasn't an option.

"No, y/n, trust me when I say you're prepared. Your odds are fair, you're no career, and you're not great with weapons, I'll be honest, but they're still decent. Your reputation amongst the capitol people is better than ever. That means more sponsors. You will. Be. Okay. I know it."

"But- what about you? I don't know what I'd do if you died, you’re one of the few people that I know I can trust, Finch. I can't have you die. You should be the one who wins. not me."

You replied between sniffles.

It was at that moment that Finch realized something.

As she looked into your puffy, bloodshot eyes she felt the warm feeling in her chest from earlier return.

She had a crush.

Not just a little one either.

A big painful crush that would most likely end in heartbreak, but she didn't care.

She decided then and there to do her best and ensure you won.

"We should wait and see, they might change the rules this year. You never know what they'll throw at us. Perhaps there could be two victors!"

It broke her heart to see the glimmer of hope in your eyes.

She knew it was probably a lie, but if that's what it took to make you content, that's what she would do.

You threw your arms around her "Thank you so much, this means a lot." She awkwardly patted you on the back, not quite used to being hugged, let alone by the very person she was hopelessly crushing on. "Now, let's get back to lunch, ally,"

You linked arms and strolled back into the lunchroom, heads held high, filled with renewed, albeit slightly false hope.

๑🍓๑

It was the day of the games. You'd all been placed in your tubes.

Foxface looked over, only to see you positively shaking.

She didn't blame you, half the tributes were.

The countdown began.

You waved and offered her a tentative smile.

Ten seconds to go...

She smiled back.

nine...eight... seven...six...five...She rehearsed the plan in her head.

four...three...two...one...

Chaos ensued.

Foxface bolted. You, in the meantime, de-activated several landmines and pocketed them for future use.

Being from District 3 did have its advantages.

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all!

You'd spoken too soon.

You were thrown out of your small revere by someone grabbing the collar of your shirt.

You whipped your head around as best you could and caught a glimpse of blond hair.

Cato. Oh no- you attempted to kick him in the shin but missed.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the best plan of action.

He pushed you against a trunk of a tree and held his sword to your throat.

A thin line of blood appeared.

He didn't look to be enjoying himself, but he also didn't look like he had any plans to stop your potential decapitation.

Foxface ran through the mess, tributes were being attacked, running, dying, and just overall not having a great first day.

She saw you and ran, only barely avoiding a landmine.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at Cato.

He turned to meet the piercing gaze of your savior.

If looks could kill...He would have fallen over before you could say "career"

Fortunately, this gave you enough time to wriggle out of his arms and kick him in the knees again.

This time, your foot actually made contact with his knee and he fell.

Foxface grabbed his sword and hit him over the head with the hilt. His eyes closed.

"Is he...you know... dead?" You asked, cautiously poking his head with a stick.

"No, probably just stunned. We can leave him, someone else will find him. Let's go, before he wakes up."

You pulled each other through the explosives.

Finally, after what felt like ages the two of you reached relative safety.

๑🍓๑

It was gradually getting darker and you decided you'd be better off sleeping.

You placed some small landmines you'd deactivated earlier in front of the cave to discourage any unfortunate intruders and lay down.

Foxface lay down and passed you a bit of bread from her backpack.

While you ate, the two of you drafted out a plan for the next few days and what it would include.

It was decided that you'd take shifts and alternate between who guarded the cave and who got materials, at night, you'd place a landmine outside so if any unwanted visitors attempted to enter...well..you didn't want to think about that.

Finally, after some time, you felt your eyelids get quite heavy.

You lay down on the cave floor, it wasn't really as bad as you'd thought.

The moss was soft and with Foxface nearby, you felt safe.

She lay down beside you and soon, you had both drifted off to sleep.

๑🍓๑

You woke up with a start.

It was still dark outside.

The sun hadn't quite risen yet and the stars were still visible in the sky.

Then you felt an arm wrap around your waist.

Foxface had thrown her arm around you in her sleep.

You felt your face heat up.

She didn't seem like the type to do this and you were sure if she woke up, she surely wouldn't speak to you ever again.

She would be positively fuming...

Voices, barely distinguishable from the birds in the trees were heard in the distance.

"Wazzamatter?" Finch mumbled, still half asleep, blinking sleepily, oblivious to the fact that her arm was still around your waist.

Your heart melted.

"Nothing, I thought I heard something, but it was just a squirrel."

"We should probably get started, we'll need supplies and it would be better to stay inside during the day. "

You nodded. This would give you time to think about what had happened that morning.

You carefully extracted yourself from her grasp and prepared for the day ahead

As Foxface left, you noticed a small package drift from the sky in a parachute.

Your heart leaped. A sponsor! Foxface was right, they would be of use!

Oh, you could just kiss her right now you were so happy!

Wait- what? She's your best friend! What are you thinking Y/n! You don't kiss your best friend.

You opened it to see bandages, alcohol, and a note.

You stared at the note. "For the couple from 3 and 5, stay safe! -a friend in the capitol"

Your eyes went wide.

Did they think that you liked each other?

Was there a possibility that you liked her?

You sat down abruptly as you realized, Yes. Yes you did.

You shook your head. Now was not the time for crushing!

While you cleaned, you thought about the morning.

You were sure it was just a coincidence, it was probably just nothing. But still- what if she felt the same?

You remembered the note and tried to suppressed the small twinge of hope that it provided.

It was probably nothing.

They must just feel sorry for you.

Unrequited love was definitely a tragedy that the capitol would love.

You continued to mull this over until you heard a rustling in the leaves.

You cautiously poked your head out, only to see Foxface looking quite wounded sitting in the cave's entrance.

You immediately rushed to her side.

"I stole some food from the district four boy and he noticed. Stabbed me with his trident. I don't think it's infected yet, but I don't think I can walk normally."

You looked to the side where your package had landed and grabbed a bottle of alcohol.

As Foxface coached you through bandaging her leg, you only felt your feelings towards her grow. it really was remarkable.

You hoped you'd manage to get through the games.

Together.

๑🍓๑

As the days progressed, you reached a sort of routine and it became almost second nature.

That was of course until the announcement of a feast was made.

You and Finch had made a plan. She'd get materials, you would make sure everything was clear and distract if necessary.

That's when you heard a rustling in the bushes.

The female tribute from District 12, Katniss was crouched in the shrubbery with an arrow pointed directly at you.

You bolted.

You weren't sure where you'd go but as long as Foxface was okay and you weren't shot, you were pretty sure it was the right place.

You felt an arrow graze your leg and you turned around only to have Katniss smack into you.

You tried your best to reason with her while she pinned you down.

She grabbed an arrow from her quiver that would surely end up in your heart.

At that moment, Foxface ran past, and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Go, I'll be okay!"

She opened her mouth to say something, but you cut her off.

"Please! I promise I'll come back, just get to safety!" you cried, sounding rather choked.

Come on, Y/n you can do this. Almost everyone else has.

"I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this," you whispered.

Katniss's eyes went wide as you shakily held a knife to her throat.

You weren't sure how you felt about this.

"Goodbye, Katniss. Sweet dreams." you cooed.

Before you could change your mind, you sliced the knife through her neck, got up, and ran into the woods, still getting used to the feeling of a weapon in your hands.

A cannon could be heard in the distance.

๑🍓๑

You sat down heavily in shock. You had just done the unimaginable.

You'd killed a tribute.

Foxface plopped down beside you.

"Did you get her?" she asked, her voice sounding just as exhausted and hollow as the both of you felt.

"Yes, I did."

The reality of what you'd done hit you.

Of course, you'd experienced it, but it was a whole different thing to actually admit it.

To say that you'd killed someone and know that there would be no consequences except the moral ones.

The ones that stayed in your mind and haunted you for years to come.

If they did come that is.

"What happened to the others?"

"They killed each other off." She took a few berries out of the backpack that she'd managed to grab at the feast.

What are those?

She gave you a look. "Take a guess"

Your eyes widened.

๑*˚🍓˚*๑

Ending 1 (Angst and death!)

"Foxface, no, please don't do this," you begged

She shook her head. "You heard the rules, y/n there can only be one victor now. It should be you. there's no use pretending like there is another way out for both of us."

She took a handful of berries from her backpack and cradled them in her hands, thinking over her decision.

"But you promised-"

Your words brought her back to the lunch at the training center.

It felt like years ago, but it had only been a few days.

That was when it hit her.

She'd never told you her feelings. The girl she liked- no- loved would never know.

As she thought, a terrible idea came into your mind.

You knew it wouldn't end well but alas, you had been well aware of it from the start.

Finally, you grabbed a handful of berries from Foxface's hand making sure to scatter the rest far away. If one of you had to be a victor, it was going to be her.

You would make sure of it.

“What are you doing Y/n?!” she gasped.

It was too late. You'd already swallowed the berries.

She cradled you in her arms, begging you to stay alive a few moments more.

"Foxface, I wish I told you this earlier, I know you don't feel the same, but at this point, I just need to let you know. You have been a true friend and I couldn't have wished for a better ally. I should have told you this sooner, I love you. With all my heart. I really do and not even death can change that." You rambled. The berries making your mind foggier by the minute.

"Y/n I- I do feel the same. You mean so much to me and if I had only known-"

With that, you kissed her cheek, careful to get none of the night lock near her mouth.

"Goodbye Finch, I love you"

"-If I had known, I would have told you that I loved you too. We would have gone on dates, had a future together, and I know it doesn't seem likely, but we would have made it work, if only-"

her voice trailed off as you went limp in her arms.

A cannon went off.

"if I'd only seen it sooner-" she trailed off quietly.

A loud voice proclaimed Finch of District 5 the winner of the 54th Hunger Games yet she didn’t seem to hear a thing

In fact, she didn't react in the slightest.

Foxface stared at your lifeless body. The color still draining from your cheeks.

Even though you were dead, the night lock berries still staining your lips a deep navy, you had to be the most gorgeous girl she'd ever laid eyes on.

"Goodbye, y/n I love you too," she said, her voice slightly choked with tears she refused to let fall.

She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't give the capitol the satisfaction of seeing her distress.

She would later go on to interviews, refusing to say more than a few grief and anger-filled sentences to let the capitol know exactly how she felt about everything.

They had killed her girlfriend and she would make sure they knew what they'd done.

๑*˚🍓˚*๑

Ending 2 (less sad! Slight angst and swearing, but no death! )

"Foxface, why are you doing this? I should be the one to go, not you."

"No y/n I can't let you. "

"But Finch-"

"Why y/n? Tell me why you should die. You are brave, sweet, and kind. Hell, you even apologized to Katniss before slitting her throat. I should be the one to die. Not! You!"

She was yelling now, but you needed to argue your case.

You had to stifle a hollow laugh. This was the most comically dark and strange situation imaginable. Arguing with your crush about which one of you should die.

"But why? I know you said that I should stay alive, but you keep forgetting about yourself. You have a family to go home to as well. They love you, they care, and they miss you! Plus, you taught me the bravery that you claim I have!"

"You want to know why y/n? It's because I love you. A lot. If you died, I don't know what I would do. " Foxface clapped a hand over her mouth.

"You love me? Like, love me?" You blinked numbly.

She sighed. "That sounded awful, I'm sorry for arguing. I know I shouldn't have said it, but you’ve always stayed by my side. You never failed to see my value. You even convinced me that having a 5 in training didn't make me weak."

"It doesn't though!" You remarked.

"Look at where we are now! The last two tributes. We would be out of this mess too if we just had some way to get out together."

Both of you looked at the ground where the berries lay scattered, looked at each other, and nodded with the same idea in your heads.

Each of you picked up some berries and took a deep breath.

"Foxface, I love you too. I mean it. This is the worst possible situation to ever tell someone this, but it's true."

With that, she kissed you gently.

"So it's settled then?"

"I think so."

"Goodbye Y/n."

"Goodbye, Foxface."

"Okay Y/n you've got this," You told yourself.

3...

2...

1...

"WAIT STOP!" A loud voice shrieked.

You and Foxface both looked up, the poisonous berries inches away from your mouths

"THERE HAS BEEN ONE MORE CHANGE OF RULES"

You stared at each other in confusion.

"CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR FIRST EVER TWO VICTORS, Y/N FROM DISTRICT 3 AND FINCH FROM DISTRICT 5! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION! GOODBYE!"

~several days later~

The Capitol was completely taken with the first couple to win the games.

Upon being interviewed, Foxface's response was "We're a team. We always were and always will be," and you couldn't agree more.

๑*˚🍓˚*๑

#the hunger games x reader #the hunger games imagines #the hunger games imagine #foxface #foxface x reader #thg x reader #The Hunger Games

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commander-hanji-zoe · 3 years ago

Note

Can I request for both Levi and Moblit moving in with their s/o in their first apartment ever. Like they have good jobs, and a good income but an appartement is not finished right away. So relationship phase where they are trying to make their house feel like a home and make ends meet. Can you write something like that for Moblit and Levi and their s/o’s ? Thank you!

Hello! You most certainly can, I apologise I went a bit off topic and more into the 'how they'd make the apartment feel like home'. But tried to bring it back round to fit the criteria! I do think they'd both be wonderful to move in with ♥

Moblit

When Moblit and his s/o finally decide to move into an apartment together, Moblit couldn’t be more excited. Due to his nature he would have to be absolutely certain before agreeing to this and therefore it’s likely he’ll have been with his partner for some time (and also discussed the move with Hanji at great lengths).

Before the move Moblit wants to plan everything to ensure nothing goes wrong, he packs up his belongings in a fashion where everything is carefully wrapped, everything is labeled and moved in order of how much the two of them will need things. He also helps his s/o with their packing, labelling etc.

Moblit buys a bag’s worth of items needed in the apartment for as soon as he and his s/o get there. It includes tea bags, milk, toilet roll, some biscuits, soap, a hand towel, air freshener, candle. He also leaves out a picture that he and his s/o bought together while on a trip away. So before they go to sleep for the first night the picture is up in the apartment and starts to feel like it’s their own.

Moblit is pretty organised and so the apartment wouldn’t be too messy for long and soon starts to feel like home.

He struggles a bit with the new routine and both him and his s/o have silly fights over the bathroom/shower in the morning. They also struggle with putting things back into the same cupboard and what to do when the other moves something they need.

But all of the above is teething issues, the same for anyone who is getting used to living with someone for the first time. Although Moblit finds it a little frustrating at first, he isn’t angry and rather he’s more worried his s/o will think it’s a bad idea and change their mind.

But due to Moblit’s kind nature and his ability to see the positive in situations, he and his s/o see the workings out of the new apartment as a fun challenge they have to figure out together and soon instead of petty arguments they have playful fights and end up dancing together in a silly fashion in their small kitchen or sharing showers.

It’ll take a few weeks to a month while he and his s/o are unpacking and figuring things out.

There’s far more takeaway than they initially imagined.

They buy little herb trays to keep in the kitchen so they can source a few fresh ingredients when they do start to cook. The first lot die as they realise they’ve both been watering them at the same time, or thinking the other one will do it. They are far more successful with the second lot, from chives to lemon balm, they have quite the selection.

When it comes to decorating, there’s a few rooms where they decide together and then they have one room which is ‘their’ project, they can choose the colour scheme for half of the room each. What they each do ends up matching.

It takes around three months for Moblit and his s/o to really settle in, be completely unpacked, decorated and used to sharing a living space. But once they’re settled Moblit thinks it was one of the best decisions they’ve ever made.

Whoever is home first starts dinner, they share the cooking/cleaning/laundering and so everything is done fairly equally with no pestering or reminders.

Either Friday or Saturday night every week is their date night, whether staying in or going out, it usually finishes with romantic dancing in the kitchen and being silly/playing pranks.

Moblit is usually the first to wake so he’ll be up and opening the curtains in the living areas, making tea/coffee, feeding any pets they have and watering plants on their balcony. He always let’s his s/o sleep in unless they really have to be up in which case he wakes them gently.

They have a flat warming party, it’s themed, likely 1920s/gangster/flapper girls themed with a table to play poker and cocktails including the old-fashioned, and dark and stormy. Hanji has never been prouder of Moblit.

Getting used to paying rent together is something new and with the bills, food, tax etc. the first few months are certainly a learning curve. They get creative with dinners and DIY, learn how to fix things instead of relying on buying new.

Baked beans on toast with a little cheese, a bowl of cereal, or soup and homemade bread that’s risen poorly end up becoming staple meals for a while until things are more settled.

But the joy of waking up next to one another means the world and makes their financial situation worth it. Having enough money to survive and occasionally treat themselves/do nice things is all they need when they have the other by their side. Moblit will frequently remind his s/o of this and just how rich they each are to have one another.

If they’re cold in winter they have a large supply of over-sized jumpers, cosy socks and blankets. And love nothing more than to cuddle up together.

Any money spare they have for small simple pleasures like coffee out, hiring a rowing boat for half hour, a few beers to drink in the park, a drive-in movie… All these things will be reflected later on in life as some of their happiest moments shared together. The simplicity and how grateful they both were for those small moments of joy, simple pleasures and to share it with one another is the greatest gift of all.

Levi

Before he and his s/o move into their new apartment, Levi cleans it from top to bottom. No area of the apartment goes untouched by him, he needs it to be perfect not just for him but also for his s/o.

Levi isn’t someone who would go into this lightly and it would take a long time (much like with Moblit) to feel ready to move into an apartment with his s/o. There would be a lot of long conversations with them about the pros and cons and Levi would want to establish some rules before they commit. Not in a controlling way you understand, more so that both he and his s/o have a chance to air any concerns and things they would want/expect from one another if they were to move in together and to ensure they were on the same page.

Levi would also want to go to the apartment with his s/o before they move to put a few homely touches in place before they technically move in so it already feels like theirs and has their ‘scent’ as it were. Even if they move into a bed and breakfast or with friends for a few nights before the apartment is ready. Levi would rather do this than try to achieve everything in one day and be in a panic.

Levi’s cool and calm nature certainly means that the move isn’t stressful, things are orderly and if anything goes wrong Levi is on hand to amend/sort and help keep his s/o calm. Although Levi isn’t into PDA, he knows just how to reach his s/o and say he’s there for her. It might be a squeeze of the shoulder, a quick hug when no one is looking, a glance with a small reassuring smile or a quick ruffle of his s/o’s hair.

The first night in the apartment sees them sleeping on a mattress on the floor surrounded by boxes. There’s a few candles lit as they haven’t topped up the electric meter (despite how organised Levi is, he curses himself a bit for that). They have a takeaway and make a fortress of pillows etc. It’s romantic in a way Levi didn’t think he’d be capable of.

Of course the first thing to be unpacked is a kettle, tea bags etc. Before any work commences they sit down and enjoy a cuppa at the kitchen table. There’s a small vase with a few flowers Levi has bought in it. That first cup of tea in the apartment is the best Levi has ever taken and it’s the moment he knows he’s made a great choice.

The first week of unpacking and sorting the apartment goes really well and the two of them work together perfectly. Within just a few days their bedroom is pretty much sorted and things start to fall into place.

Unfortunately, the rest of the unpacking doesn’t go as smoothly, everything is tidy, yes, but a lot of it is tidy in boxes. This is mostly because they’re both so busy with their jobs and agree they’d rather just unpack one box at a time to keep things tidy instead of opening loads of boxes and living in mess.

They end up writing up a Rota for painting/DIY etc. at weekends.

Levi and his s/o buy several simple recipe books and learn to cook new, simple and cheap meals together. It becomes an activity they really look forward to as it brings them closer together and often there’s little moments of laughter, sauce on the nose etc.

When they are settled and everything is in place they invite a few of their closest friends over for a sophisticated dinner party to celebrate.

Their apartment becomes quite the hub for their circle of friends with dinner parties and cocktail making classes. Levi is in his element, it takes him a while to allow others to help him clean up and trust them but with reassure from his s/o he does start to relax.

When Levi and his s/o are experiencing little income (or rather little spare cash) they like to pretend they’ve gone out for a meal.

One of their other favourite past times is going for long walks in the woods, countryside, round a lake. They take a picnic to save money with flasks of tea and a few items that they’ve made together. They also take food for the ducks/geese. Levi likes to sketch his s/o while they’re reading. They read poetry to one another, scribble little creative notes and love to roll round in the grass when no one is around.

Much like with Moblit and his s/o, some of the happiest memories Levi and s/o have from their early days of living together are these moments of making the best of what they had.

#Moblit Berner #Levi Ackerman #my writing #requests #Moblit x s/o #levi x s/o

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prancing-uboot · 4 years ago

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Satsuma Dads Timeline

You know how Golden Kamuy is an awesome manga full of amazing (and super-hot) characters and a great main storyline? So what do I do with it? Naturally I obsess over those two old gremlins: Koito Heiji and Hanazawa Koujirou the fathers of Second Lieutenant Koito and Ogata.

It's probably the most niche pairing ever, and I thought it was just me fixating on that one panel where Tsurumi mentioned they were close friends from Satsuma. But the more I read about the history of Satsuma and the times they lived in, the more I’m becoming convinced that there’s so much of their story written between the lines and that their relationship and tumultuous past is what actually caused and keeps together most of the GK plot. But nobody else seems to see it!

So what do I do with that? I spent my nights in front of my crazywall of historical research, trying to recreate an entire universe of events 50-years before the gold plot starts, just to be able to present to you:

The Satsuma Dads Timeline

Why you Should Care for Heiji and Koujirou

~1850

Koujirou and Heiji* were born around 1850** in Kagoshima.

Heiji might have been older then Koujirou, but not more then 5 years. They were both sons of high ranking samurai (noble bloodline), serving the Shimazu clan.

* Most likely they went by other names in their youth and then changed them a bazillion times to make stuff confusing, but let's skip that.

** That would make them around the same age as Tougou Heihachiro and Nogi Maresuke ** - the chief players in the Russo-Japanese war for the navy and army. Both share a lot of biographical motives with Koujirou and Heiji and Noda might have modeled them a bit after them so I'll include the parallels where possible. I'm not sure Nogi even exists in the GK universe or was he replaced by Koujirou completely. Tougou was recently confirmed to exist. He was also a Kagoshima-boy, and grew up in the same circles so it's impossible that he and Heiji didn't know each other from childhood.

1856-65

Koujirou and Heiji train in the same gochu in Kajiya-cho*. Gochu was a Satsuma-specific education system, relying on small neighborhood study groups in which the older samurai spent a part of their time teaching the younger everything they knew. Starting from penmanship and Confucian doctrines and ending with swordsmanship, and the unstoppable Jigen-ryu.

Teenage Heiji develops a Koito-crush*. on Saigo Takamori (20 years his senior) and follows him around like a lost puppy. Koujirou makes fun of him, but in reality he feels a bit jealous.

* Kajya-cho was a Kagoshima district known now as "Home town of Revitalization" as most of the influential Satsuma leaders of the Meiji Revolution came from there. That also meant that they directly taught the younger generations as part of the gochu. For example Tougou also came from that area. I'm not that sure Heiji and Koujirou were actually from Kajiya-cho, but it being 3km downhill from the Nanshu Cemetary would fit in nicely to the place where Tsurumi and Otonoshin first met so it's likely.

** Gochu was a completely male oriented environment, so homoerotic relations bloomed and were even encouraged (think ancient Greece), hence the term "Satsuma habit" was later used as the synonym of homosexuality in Japan. But for them then it was just a natural thing they sometimes did, and not really an orientation. Koito Otonoshin crushing on Tsurumi might be a bit old fashioned but it's just a Satsuma thing, so of course his dad is cool with that.

1866-67

Both go to Kyoto to serve Hisamitsu Shimazu and there they experience the tension of the Bakumatsu period first hand. They soak up the patriotic moods of the Sonno-Joi fraction, they hear of the the assassinations by the Shinsengumi, they feel a revolution brewing. Being a hot-headed youth in those times made keeping out of trouble very difficult.

1868-69

The Boshin War breaks out. Satsuma, Choshu and Tosa fight to abolish the Tokugawa shogunate. Heiji and Koujirou join up and dispite their young age are given officer commissions*. Coming from a long line of Satsuma’s military commanders it is what they were raised up to do. This war however is nothing like the stories they grew up on. Instead of swords it relies more on modern weapons guns and artillery. What was supposed to be a short battle with the Shogun's forces, turns into a lengthy nationwide campaign of crashing shogunate loyalists long after the Shogun himself resigned. Koujiro and Heiji fight side by side and survive all the way to see the end of it in Hakodate.

* Only the oficers wore the super cool Satsuma black koguma wigs and I definitely do need fanart of that.

1870

Heiji and Koujiro come out of the war victorious. Most of the positions in the new government are taken by Satsuma and Choshu men, so practically any career path is open to them. Koujiro stays with the Imperial Guard while Heiji joins the Imperial Naval Academy in Tsukiji, Tokyo. They compete for the most ridiculous facial hair* and spend their off nights “drinking green liqueurs under red lanterns”

Ogata's grandfather fought** on the other side for the Mito clan (the last shogun was from the Mito-Tokugawa branch). After the defeat his family falls into poverty. They sell their daughter to an okiya because they cannot support her ***.

* The Haitourei edict from 1871 allowed samurai to cut of their chonmage and encouraged them to experiment with western haircuts.

** I’m guessing he was active in the Boshin by the fact that he had an old gun lying around.

*** This "Ogata's mom comes from a fallen samurai family" theory has been going around but I'm not super sure about the time frame here. Usually maiko get promoted to geisha when they're 20-21. That means to already be a geisha when she gave birth to Hyakunosuke she must have been at least 12 when she was sold. That's quite late for a geisha to start her education. Or I might be wrong about Hyakunosuke's birth date, but I'd really like it to be 1879, so I'm in a pickle here.

1873

Heiji finally finds the guts to propose to Yuki, his Kagoshima sweetheart. They marry and a son is born to them - Heinojou *.

Koujirou's family chooses a wife for him **. She's from a good family, likely Choshu to have some useful connections. Heiji comes to their wedding in his fancy navy uniform to congratulate them and say goodbye. He'll be going to study abroad in the France ***. Koujirou feels like it's his funeral wake.

* Heinojou's birthdate is the first solid date we have for them from the canon, so I'm basing the whole “born in the 1850s” on the fact that the expected age of a man to marry was their early 20s.

** Arranged marriage was the most commonplace in Japan then. The families picked the brides because they were most likely to spend more time with her then the husband, taking care of the house and such.

*** In 1871 Tougou went to study abroad with 14 other cadets to Greenwich Naval Collage and that would fit so nicely. The problem is that they went 1871-1878 and Heinojou was born in 1873 *shakes fist*. There were also individual exchange programs though and since in canon Heiji is mentioned to have some french friends I figured he was sent to France.

~1876

Koujirou is stationed in Tokyo, while his wife stays in Kagoshima, taking care of the family home. He begins an affair* with Tome**, a geisha from Asaskusa. With Heiji gone she's the only person he can open his heart to.

After abolisment of the clan system and privileges of the samurai, the dissatisfied Satsuma samurai quit the Imperial Guard en-masse and go back to Kagoshima to gather around Saigo Takamori and brew a rebelion. Koujiro - by then a major - is faced with a choice: to go back with his childhood friends, or to stay loyal to the government. He chooses his career.

* I'm guessing he must have been married already when the thing started, because marrying a geisha wasn't that unheard of and wouldn't really cause a scandal or hinder his career. All three of the Meiji prime ministers Hirobumi Ito, Taro Katsura and Yamagata Aritomo ended up marrying geisha. So Tome being a geisha was not a problem - Koujiro already having a wife was.

** Tome is a random name that Ogata used in his Sugimoto self insert fic. I love the headcanon that it's his mom's name. Because of course he makes everything personal.

1877

In January the Seinan War breaks out. Koujirou fights against his clansmen and his former war comrades *. By September most of them are dead. He is there at Shiroyama where Saigo makes his last stand. Heiji is never going to forgive him that.

When he comes back to Tokyo, Tome doesn't ask, she understands and prepares him angler nabe while he sulks.

* Koujirou's situation is by no means an unusual one. Many of the Satsuma samurai landed lucrative jobs under the new administration and didn't share the dissatisfaction of their disenfranchised clansmen. Even Saigo's own younger brother Judo stayed as a lieutenant-general in the Imperial Guard.

1878

In May, Okubou Toshimichi, the lord of home affairs, who took personal command of surpressing Saigo's rebelion is assasinated, branded in Satsuma as traitor.

Koujiro is not welcome in Kagoshima anymore*. His wife moves to Tokyo to avoid harassment. Keeping his affair with Tome is becoming more difficult. Especially when he learns that Tome is pregnant **

In December Heiji comes back to pick up the pieces.

* Both Okubo and Saigo Judo moved their families to Tokyo because of this situation, so I'm guessing that was a thing. They received some backlash from their compatriots but eventually things normalized (for Judo at least, because Okubo was, you know, slashed up dead in an alley). By 1898 Saigo was acknowledged by the government as a tragic hero and bygones were bygones. Yet Heiji still talks with the Satsuma dialect, while Koujiro doesn’t even have a trace of it left.I wonder if he still used it when talking to Heiji.

** Geisha were not supposed to have sex with their patrons. The fact that she chose to give birth to Koujirou's son tells that she dared to hope that he'll at least acknowledge him.

1879

In January Hyakunosuke is born*

* Ogata's birthdate is a shot in the dark. He could be anywhere between 1878 and 1883. I just really like the idea that he was born right into the middle of such a chaos.

EDIT: GoldenKamuyHunting pointed out that Ogata had to be born after 1881, since Noda placed him as Older than Usami. This ruins the timeline a bit, and I’ll have to think of the way to reorder it to fit. For now, treat the 1879 as canon-defying :(

~1881

After pressure from his parents and from Heiji, Koujirou comes clean and learns to make his official family work. Koujirou's legitimate son, Yuusaku is born*.

From now on he effectively ghosts Tome. Her mental health** begins to waver. Tome quits being a geisha and moves back to her parents in Ibaraki ***.

* Also a shot in the dark. This would make him 23 when he died and 2 years younger than Ogata.

** Before the 20th century the white makeup geisha wore was made out of lead, making them more likely to develop lead poisoning, the first symptom of which is the decline of intelectual ability. Fun fact: lead gets passed down in breastmilk in quantities super-harmful for the baby, so if we go with the theory "Tome went crazy because of lead poisoning" than that would explain so much about Ogata...

*** This is likely due to her health, not due to giving birth. She could have just sent Hyakunosuke to her parents and kept working. God knows how they made ends meet after that. Before they were be so poor that they had to sell their daughter. Now they were much older, she was sick and unable to work, and her child was another mouth to feed. Not to mention the cost geisha education was worse then US collage loans so she most likely had a large debt she barely started to repay. Was Koujiro at least decent enough to pay child-support? Oh god *realises* it was Heiji who was paying them, wasn’t it? *heart breaks*

1886

Heiji and Yuki's second son, Otonoshin is born, 13 years after the first. What's up with that, Heiji?

1887

Koujirou goes to Germany* to study military tactics.

Hyakunosuke (8) feeds his mother rat poison. Koujirou doesn't come to the funeral.

As a result Hyakunosuke is brought up by his grandparents alone. He likes his grandma. They might instill in him the same kind of dislike for the new government as in the case of Kadokura. They definitely install a dislike for his deadbeat dad.

* Japan sent most of the promising officers abroad to soak up the knowledge how to run a modern nation. The army was mostly modeled after Germany (the Japanese were impressed by their recent victory against France) so it's the safest bet that Koujirou went to study there sometime in his life. In 1887-88 Nogi and Soroku Kawakami were sent to Germany. So it still depends if Nogi exists in GK universe and Koujirou just tagged along with them, or are they completely interchangeable.

1888

A new division is formed in Hokkaido. Tasked with guarding the north and developing the land.

1889

Heinojou (16) passes the Naval Academy entry exams with highest marks, determined to follow the footsteps of his father.

1894-95

The first Sino-Japanese war breaks out.

Heiji and Heinojou take part in the Battle of Yalu River. Heinojou is stationed on the flagship Matsushima under admiral Ito Sukeyuki. Matsushima gets badly damaged. 57 men die (including three officers) and 54 more are wounded.

Heiji silently watches his son burning from his ship. Comes back a wreck of a man. Gets awarded a title of Baron under the kazoku system *.

No clue what Koujirou could have been doing then. It’s likely that he was part of the army that conquered Port Arthur (back than still called Lushunkou) the first time around in only 3 days **.

* I need to double-check that with the raws since I'm not sure Tsurumi calling him "lord" is meant to imply he had a noble title, or if it's just a honorific. Many of admirals had titles so it would be highly likely someone with a lineage and a service record like Heiji also got one.

** this experiance would make him a pefect choice for later leading the operation in 1904 so this would make a lot of sense, but it would also be a pretty heavy take, since that would mean he was present during the Port Arthur masacre. And as a senior officer too, so it’s hard to find any excuses for him if that was the case. Did witnessing the atrocities there influence his later opposition to the Japanese expansion into Manchuria? Was his instruction for Yuusaku not to kill anyone motivated by trying to protect his son from sharing his guilt?

1895

Tsurumi comes back from the war and joins the 7th (actually more like he’s demoted out of the 2nd). By then Koujirou is the head of the division *

* I’m guessing Tsurumi had to have enough time to work on him, to be able to learn all about the Koito family troubles and come up with the plan how to use them. Did he get into Koujirou’s confidence? Or was he just reading his private letters?

1900

Heiji stays in Kagoshima and spoils/neglects his second son. Tsurumi "accidentally" meets Otonoshin and they visit Saigo's and Heinojou's graves.

Later that year the whole Koito family moves to Hakodate and Heiji takes control of the Ominato torpedo division *.

* The Ikazuki was a new class of light destroyers specifically made not to repeat the tragedy of too large and too slow Matsushima. No wonder Heiji was willing to move across the country for that.There were 6 of them made in total. Cool factoid: One of those destroyers sunk after a crash with a civilian steamship off the coast of Hokkaido in 1909.

1902

Ogata (24) joins the army and specifically volunteers for the 7th division planning god-knows-what. By conscription he would have landed in the 2nd (Kantou region).

Koujirou doesn't acknowledge him. Tsurumi does.

The Great Hakodate kidnapping takes place. Koujiro sends his best intelligence officer from Tsukisappu to help his friend and keep things discreet. Afterwards Heiji learns to appreciate the son he has left.

Later that year Otonoshin passes the exam to join the Army acedemy.

Fresh out of the academy Yuusaku (21) joins the 7th division. His father, plagued with guilt and bad life choices instructs him not to kill people and not to sleep around.

Yuusaku meets Hyakunosuke. Hyakunosuke tries to get him to kill people and sleep around.

1904-05

The Russo-Japanese war.

In February the war starts with Japan launching night torpedo attacks on the Russian fleet stationed inside Port Arthur. Heiji leads the third destroyer squadron aboard the Sazanami*. They continue the attacks over the next months trying to impose a blockade. After the Battle of the Yellow Sea, the victorious Japanese Combined Fleet effectively traps the remaining Russian warships inside Port Arthur. The Russians can't get out, the Japanese can't get in. Heiji can only wait and watch as the Japanese Army struggles to capture Port Arthur by land.

Koujirou leaves the 7th division behind when he is promoted to a member of staff of General Nogi’s 3rd Army. They land in Incheon in April and reach Port Arthur in August to start the siege. It is a drawn out blood bath. After wasting tons of lives in pointless assaults, the Japanese realize quite late that the key to victory lies in capturing the 203 Hill overlooking the harbor. Koujirou is made chief of staff for this operation.

In October they get the news that the Russian Baltic Fleet has left Tallinn and is on its way to reinforce the besieged Pacific Fleet. The race starts. If Koujirou fails to capture the hill before the Baltic Fleet arrives, the Japanese Fleet will be annihilated, and Heiji along with it.

In November the 7th division arrives in Port Arthur. They don’t get special treatment from their former commander and they’re sent head first to the 203 Hill. They capture it on 5th December, only after the artillery stopped caring weather they hit their own or not**. From their new position they destroy the whole Pacific fleet.

The death toll is 80 000 soldiers. More than half of the 7th is gone. Among the fallen are second lieutenants Hanazawa Yuusaku and Nogi Yasusuke - general Nogi's only remaining son (the first one died earlier in the same war).***

Hyakunosuke thinks that the losses wouldn't have to be this high if they just had more snipers like him. But nobody listened.

* All of the Ikazuki-class destroyers were quite active during the war. I placed Heiji on the Sazanami just because there’s the most info about what she did and when.

** The winning strategy was implemented by Kodama Gentarou. He was sent to Port Arthur with the authority to replace Nogi. He had enough guts to sacrifice soldiers falling to friendly fire in one coordinated assault instead of bleeding them out by continuous suicidal frontal assaults. He didn't officially replace Nogi though, and he let him take the credit for the victory, because they were friends. It's a really cool story.

*** Interesingly enough Yasusuke, was also shot in the back of his head. His father when he saw his body asked only “Was it after he had completed his task, or was it before?”

1905

The 7th move on to Mukden. Koujirou and Nogi along with them.

In May the Baltic Fleet arrives. Without Port Arthur, they try to get to Vladivostok to resupply. Tougou's fleet intercepts them in the Tsushima strait and despite their smaller number, crushes them decisively. Heiji's destroyer Sazanami, captures the destroyer Buyini with the wounded admiral Zinovy Rozhestvensky **.

In September the Treaty of Portsmouth is signed. The Trans-Manchurian Railway gets handed off to the Japanese. Later Koujirou strongly opposes the plan to develop it ***.

** Heiji's torpedo division was also responsible to delivering the finishing blow to the flagship Knyaz Suarov. Later this was written on Knyaz Suarov's last moments "While she had a gun above water she fired, and not a man survived her of all that crew, to whose stubborn gallantry no words can do justice. If there is immortality in naval memory it is hers and theirs". Gives me the chills.

*** Did he see that it would lead to more war? Mantetsu was the reason behind the Manchurian Incident in 1931 and later for the breakout of the second Sino-Japanese war, where a really ugly face of Japanese imperialism saw the light of day. So, was Koujirou a good guy all along? This I hope will be explained in the manga.

1906

In January Nogi returns to give a victory report to the Emperor *.

Koujirou "commits seppuku" by his son's hand. "Writes" a sappy goodbye letter to Heiji (probably also by Ogata's hand).

Heiji gets seduced by his son's dashing young commander and does some stupid-treasonous things for him, convinced that Central Command was to blame for pushing Koujirou to suicide.

In November Mantetsu is established.

* Nogi breaks down while making the report and asks to be allowed to commit seppuku for allowing such high casualties. The Emperor forbids him. Nogi waits 7 years until the Emperor dies and commits seppuku on the day of his funeral.

Disclaimers

I would say half of this consists of what already is in GK canon (even if it’s written between the lines) or history. The other half are my free guesses for what I personally think would make a better story ;)

I tried and tried to do thorough research, but in the end I’m just a humble fangirl, and not a historian, so if there’s something I got wrong, missed or misinterpreted please correct me - learning history is a never-ending story.

Sorry for linking directly to the scanlations. Support the manga by buying the volumes if you can.

This list will most likely be growing since I will eventually figure out what Koujirou did during the Sino-Japanese war, and I’m only starting digging in to the details of the Boshin War, so I’m sure I’ll expand upon that.

If anyone ever wants to use this information for a fic, please do. Copy it all if you want to. I don’t mind the slightest. I’ll love you to pieces for writing anything for them at all!

#golden kamuy #hanazawa koujirou #koito heiji

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spiffyspuffy · 4 years ago

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My Mystic Messenger Opinions

(That no one asked for)

Zen

Character: 8/10 I know a lot of people think Zens annoying but I find him endearing. One of the best things about this game is the complexity of the characters and I love that Zen’s cockiness is actually how he hides his insecurities. Even though he’s egotistical about himself, he’s never shallow with MC. He says multiple times that he doesn’t care about MC’s looks. He loves her for who she is and shows this in how he makes an effort to get to know her and be her cheerleader everyday. An underrated thing about Zen is how emotionally intelligent he is. He’s great at helping the RFA members when they need emotional support (Yoosung’s grief over loosing Rika, Jaehee crying from the stress of her job and MC’s shock at almost being kidnapped).

Route: 2/10 Zen is a great character and he deserves a better route. The false rape accusation plot is horrible and offensive. Also, his route functions as an introduction to the game’s plot, so it’s exposition heavy and lacks action. The creators said that the lesson of his route is that when our insecurities are handled in a healthy way, they can push us to be better people. I love this message and I wish it had been highlighted more in his route.

Romantic Potential: 9/10 Zen is arguably the most dateable of all the characters. He’s a bad boy without being sketchy. He’s protective without being possessive. He’s kind without being a pushover and he’s smart without being pretentious. His biggest drawbacks are his overconfidence and and how busy he is with working. There aren’t any glaring red flags.

~ More under the cut ~

Jeahee

Character: 7/10 I love this adorable theater nerd! She comes across as formal and stuffy at first, but reveals herself to be passionate and funny the more you get to know her. I gave her a lower score because she does have a strong personality that rubs me the wrong way sometimes (her jealousy of MC in Zen’s route, her lack of sympathy towards Jumin in her own route and her general rudeness towards Yoosung). She is the most mature of the RFA though, so her exasperation is warranted. Being mature and grounded also makes Jaehee the least complex Mysme character. I’ve got a lot of respect for her though!

Route: 5/10 Getting to engage in discourse about capitalism and the patriarchy? Amazing and hands down the best part of her route. It’s really inspiring to see Jaehee stand up for herself and choose to follow her dreams. I think it’s important for every young person to hear that they should have a positive work/life balance and demand that their employer supports that. Other highlights are Seven helping Jaehee by making the Power Point presentation for Jumin’s cat project, getting to fangirl with Jaehee over Zen and the creepy stalker plot. I thoroughly enjoy her route and the only reason the score is so low is because some of the other routes are seriously incredible.

Romantic Potential: 8/10 Jeahee doesn’t have any red flags either. I think she’s perfectly capable of having a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. The biggest issue standing in their way is Korea’s bias against lesbian relationships. As a fellow coffee lover and theater enthusiast though, I could definitely see myself or someone similar having a happy life with her, even if it might have to be in secret.

Yoosung

Character: 6/10 I can’t stand people who aren’t competent. Yoosung is a terrible cook, he barely cleans and he doesn’t pay attention to his studies. On top of that, 80% of his personality is that he’s a gamer AND he’s in love with his “dead” adopted cousin. Yuck. ~ But ~ I understand that he’s depressed and depression can seriously effect someone’s executive functioning. Taking all of those negatives away, we’re left with a young man who’s trying to his best to be taken seriously, which is something I can relate to. It’s nice to see imposter syndrome represented and I admire his loyalty to his friends.

Route: 8/10 This route is sooo good! Who can forget the night when the RFA starts being aggressively stalked by Minty Eye? And the pic Zen takes of a believer looking at him through his apartment window...chills. His route only gets better from there when he infiltrates Mint Eye with Seven. This is the first time we get to see the twins interact and damn, is it confusing. But in a good way!! The biggest drawback is that MC is stuck in Rika’s apartment and doesn’t play much of an active role in the story.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 Despite all the negatives I listed about Yoosung, I do think he’s capable of have a healthy, romantic relationship with MC. Yoosung is also the only true sub of the RFA men, which is a definite plus for some players. Yoosung’s yandere side is a huge red flag though. MC better watch out if she doesn’t dote on him as much as he wants. Once he falls for her, he’s all in.

Jumin

Character: 5/10 Unpopular opinion, but I hate Jumin. I understand that he’s some people’s guilty pleasure though. Jumin’s good aspects are that he’s intensely loyal, an animal lover and has a dry sense of humor. I appreciate how devoted he is to the RFA and it’s members. He offers to help Zen multiple times (albeit rejected), sends everyone body guards in his route and pays the hospital in the SE to keep Saeran’s identity top secret. What I’m not a fan of is the way he obsesses over MC and traps her in his house. This isn’t the first time he’s shown obsessive tendencies either. Seven explicitly states that Jumin acted this way with Rika in the past. Huuuge red flag.

Route: 3/10 His entire route is fraught with rich people problems. I’m supposed to sympathize with him for an arranged marriage? All he had to do was say no. His father couldn’t force him. He’s possessive of MC because women have only ever wanted to be with him for his money? Not an excuse. Elizabeth going missing was a vaguely interesting story line, but Jumin’s relationship with his cat was cringey enough to overshadow the drama of it for me.

Romantic Potential: 3/10 Jumin has some serious issues. He’s never had a good female role model which has given him a deep seeded hatred of women. Remember when he tells MC that respecting women goes against his core beliefs? Yikes. Then, after meeting a woman who respects him and he actually likes, he locks her up and tries to change everything about her (cutting her hair, buying her a new wardrobe, teaching her the ‘proper’ way to walk, etc). We’re supposed to believe Jumin learns to be better by the end of his route, but he still proposes to MC after only a week of knowing her! I’m having a hard time picturing Jumin in a healthy relationship.

Saeyoung

Character: 10/10 I’m not saying Saeyoung is a good person. Far from it actually. But he IS very well written and extremely interesting. In the other routes, Saeyoung is energetic and funny, bringing much needed humor to heavy moments. It’s always a joy being in a chatroom with him. Then you have the reveal that he actually hates his job and that he was faking his personality, all to a sad and slowed down version of his theme song. This plot twist shook me to my core. What makes him so well written is that the devs did a good job dropping hints to his real personality in the other routes that players might not notice during their first play through.

Route: 9/10 This route is a wild ride from start to finish. This is when the plot threads from the other routes come together and start make sense. This route has secret agents, assassins, a deadly bomb, kidnapping, an evil twin, a powerful cult... It’s action heavy while still carrying enough emotional weight to make me cry every time. Saeyoung’s route is heavy and emotional and sooo worth playing.

Romantic Potential: 6/10 Saeyoung has a shady job and a complicated past. Choosing to be with him means putting your life in danger every day. If you’re okay with that, he’d be a decent romantic partner. He’s a little rough around the edges, but I do think he has potential to become more like his ideal self (God Seven) after reading his AE. He’ll always have that mean and serious side to him, but I don’t think he’s hopeless.

Character: 4/10 He’s low-key the worst. I sympathize with his trauma from being abused by Rika, but I don’t understand why he feels the need to fix everything by himself. Rika might be the source of most problems in this game, but V is partially responsible for standing by and letting her get away with everything.

My first issue with him comes from encouraging Saeyoung to join the agency. I know Saeyoung didn’t have many options, but how was encouraging him to train to become a hacker and assassin the best option?! On top of that, he stalked Zen per Rika’s request and took creeper photos of him, failed miserably at protecting Saeran and don’t get me started on how he loves Rika unconditionally. V has some good characteristics but I really don’t care about those when he’s so terrible otherwise.

Route: 10/10 This route is *chef’s kiss* the BEST. I wouldn’t call it a romance since Vs barely in it but damn is it riveting. Saeran is the perfect amount of loving and unhinged, MC get’s to know Rika on a personal level and V finally gets to be active instead of just reactive like he is in all the other routes. It’s also satisfying to find out how much V has been keeping secret and to get a glimpse into Rika’s psyche. But what really makes V’s route stand out among the rest is that there are spy action scenes like in Saeyoung’s route, but the player also gets to spend time in Mint Eye.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I’ll be honest. I don’t think V will ever be able to move on from Rika. He’ll always love her, as evidence in his AE. Besides that drawback, I do think he’d be a good romantic partner for MC. V was never the issue in his past relationship with Rika. She was the abusive one and he was 100% the victim. I think he would treat MC just as well in their relationship as he treated Rika.

Saeran

Character: 7/10 I know I’m not the only one who loved the suave and cunning Saeran of the main routes who, after getting the therapy he needed, became an adorably shy and awkward man. Sadly, that’s not the character we got in AS. Instead, we met Ray, the split personality of Saeran’s psyche. Ray is charming and sweet as well as possessive and manipulative...which is something I’m into. But it’s not for everyone. Saeran’s real personality in AS is revealed to be angry and abusive and not at all similar to who he was in the main routes. I’ll give Cheritz props for writing a fairly accurate portrayal of disassociative identity disorder, but I think Saeran’s characterization is inconsistent. I get the impression Ray was an afterthought when creating AS.

Route: 7/10 A mixed bag for me. I really enjoy any chatroom/scene with Ray. He’s undeniably creepy, but those scenes were entertaining in a dark romance kind of way. On the other hand, the Saeran scenes had a lot of unrealized potential. Abuse is never cool. All his route needed to fix this was a scene where Saeran explained to MC that he was pretending to hate her to appease Rika and the other believers. While this fake hatred is implied, I think it needed to be outright stated. It’s also hard to believe that Saeran overcame his DID in the course of one night. I know all routes are limited to 11 days, but this one needed more. Highlights of this route are Saeyoung being kidnapped by his father and of course, dark Yoosung with Elizabun.

Romantic Potential: 7/10 I truly do believe that Saeran could go on and live a happy life in any of the endings where he escapes Mint Eye and receives therapy. While we only get a glimpse of what an emotionally stable Searan looks like, we know that he was kind and attentive with MC. Saeran is a giver and would do anything to make MC happy. Red flags are that Searan is still clingy at the end of his route. Yoosung makes a comment that he’s always holding MC’s hand when he sees them together. Also, his DID is something that will occasionally return and that’s something MC has to go into their relationship knowing.

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