#hazbin hotel valentino ask blog

[pimpin-not-simpin-moth]

Valentino can I just work for you and willingly give you my soul

You would just willingly give your soul to me, Tesoro? No terms, deals, negotiations and etc??

How...generous.

Of course, you can. You would be one of the very few who wouldn't have an assigned role though. Actually, how would you like to be my new assistant, carino?

Might make mi araña pequeñita jealous though.

~ Valentino, Overlord of Lust & Depravity

[pimpin-not-simpin-moth]

What. The. Fuck.

No wonder I woke up this morning with a dozen messages from fucking Travis.

Seriously angel dust...

~ Valentino, Overlord of Lust & Depravity

I put the cow in Val’s studio. I hope that’s okay.

[the-grand-av3]

Question to Alastor (but the rest can hear it too), are Hust and Angel Dust dating?

Indeed! Quite the duo, I'd've never imagined it!

Matching necklaces~

Hm.

[the-radio-demon-blog]

Ashh rushes into the hotel, visibly distressed. "Al!" She calls out, rushing over to Alastor and latching onto his side. "Al, there's a man with a TV head harassing me!" She cries. "He keeps trying to make me join his little group; The Vees, I think they were called? I don't remember, but he was following me!" She fusses, gripping his arm like her life depends on it.

Sighs.

"The Vees are doing what now?" Alastor manages to get his arm free from her grip. He twirls his radio cane and starts sauntering off towards the exit. "I'll go deal with it, my dear."

[backboneofthevees]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!! ‐Velvette (and Vox, I guess. Art made by yours truly!)

[pimpin-not-simpin-moth]

Absolutely the fuck NOT.

I'm not that weird.

The only person in your family that I do fuck, is Angel Dust. Unless...you happen to be interested? I'm always down for threesomes...or even if you're not into that, we could always do one on one.

~ Valentino, Overlord of Lust & Depravity

I think the internet is rubbing off me, I wanna start some drama....oh, I know!

@pimpin-not-simpin-moth

@ask-henroin

Do you two fu-

[subbymothpimp]

[that-bitch-velvette]

Is sleeping difficult when Vox and Val are loud as hell lmao

(Implied NSFW)

"They're slowly turning me homophic. @pimpin-not-simpin-val KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN!!"

[voxscientistau66]

Consider sending an ask today!

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Question for everyone, what is the worst/weirdest ship in your opinion?

Love y'all <3

"Angel with Valentino is definitely the worst."

"Uh, yeah... that's not great..."

"Agreed."

"Oh, I'm open to anything! I don't think anything's too weird!"

"I'm going to say me with that obnoxious asshole."

"That's a thing? Oh dear, I think I'll have to go with that, as well."

"I'm not really familiar with all the ships, but I find it a little disturbing when people think me and Alastor should be together."

"Yeah, that's weird. Also, just any ship involving me and a man."

"Me n' Vox. He's like an annoying big brother, and tha's just weird."

"Yeah, that's a good point. I was going to say me and Angel because I didn't even know that was a thing until recently, but I think I'll have to change my answer."

"I just can't stand it when people try to pair me with anyone who's less than a 10 or Vox."

"Excuse me?!"

[onesidedradiostatic]

VoxVal is just bizarre to me in the specific vein that I personally don't understand why you'd be in a relationship with someone you clearly don't get along with. Both pre-series and in current canon, it's outright said that Velvette is pretty much the only thing keeping them together. Does it still count as going to couples therapy if you're just friends with benefits and the therapist is your extremely unqualified mutual friend being forced to mediate

hmmmmmm I disagree that they don't get along actually.

like yes, vox did express annoyance at him at the beginning of episode 2, but that's because he was called to calm down his tantrum, does that sound enjoyable to anyone? we all have our moments where we're annoyed with our friends. I'd say outside of val's tantrums, they actually get along pretty well. and I don't believe his tantrums make up most of their interactions either.

like come on

does this look like someone he's not getting along with?

this isn't to say they aren't toxic, but they get along enough. and velvette may be said to be the glue between them, but I don't think she's the ONLY thing keeping them together I mean. look. she's probably a millennial, likely arrived in the 2000s-2010s, vox and val arrived YEARS before her. they likely held up on their own for 20-30 years so I don't think they're that unstable.

[pimpin-not-simpin-moth]

*Valentino rolls his eyes*

It's not 'discourteous' when you're trying to take away one of MY employees. Who SOLD their SOUL to me. I'm sure other overlords would also take offense if something similar occurred to them.

And the gall to bring up my mother in this conversation? Honestly.

It's public knowledge by now, that my dear mami is in the holy planes.

Also, just because you've been around longer doesn't mean much, puta. (How the radio bitch puts up with you I will never understand)

~ Valentino, Overlord of Lust & Depravity

@sweetauntrosie

WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO TRY AND STEAL ONE OF MY EMPLOYEES!!

ESPECIALLY MY TOP STAR

~ Valentino, Overlord of Lust & Desire

[charliewhaw]

Ooohhh what if alastor joined the V’s? That’s an interesting scenario to think about and how different alastor and Vox’s relationship would be

(I’ve thought about this a lot, but have never come to a definite conclusion on it before. Guess today is the day to do that! Also, sorry for taking so long. Been a hectic time! Things should come out smoother and faster going forward!)

Vox would pop the question easily. “Will you join me?” He knew Alastor would say ‘yes’ because how could he not? Them? Taking over Hell together? There was no other way this would go. Alastor was Vox’s perfect match. In both body and mind.

Vox was used to getting his way, in life and in the afterlife. He was used to getting everything he wanted from anyone he wanted it from. So, he would, of course, expect Alastor to fall in line and give himself to Vox. He couldn’t even imagine a scenario where ‘no’ would be an option. But Vox isn’t stupid. He knew Alastor would be a challenge to convince and conquer. It would take a lot of careful persuasion on Vox’s part, but eventually, Alastor would agree to join the Vees on the condition that he didn’t have to change his name. Vox’s solution to this was to throw an “A” into his logo’s shadow, indicating the Vees and also boldly representing the man who was both a master of shadows, and who would become a master at manipulating Vox.

Vox would reach out his hand for Alastor to take and hold, but Alastor would misunderstand and shake his hand instead. Alastor would consistently misunderstand Vox’s intentions. It would be both frustrating and endearing to Vox. Every moment with Alstor was so entertaining.

Vox would run his company as the CEO, naturally, but Alastor would be his right-hand man, whispering into Vox’s ear what he should do next. Alastor wasn’t a businessman, however. So, Vox would adjust his ideas and make them profitable. But if Alastor suggested something, you can guarantee it was going to happen. Alastor is an extremely intelligent man and Vox would have no doubt Alastor’s plans would benefit his company in the end, even if they seemed strange at the time of implementation. It would become extremely easy for Alastor to take advantage of this influence he had over Vox. The only thing Vox would refuse to do was let go of Valentino. His studios were too profitable, and it would be a shame to not be in control of one of Hell’s greatest money-makers. So, Alastor’s suggestions for killing Valentino or converting the studios into something else would be denied each and every time. Vox would then attempt to distract Alastor with some other scheme.

Vox is a man of many talents and skills: One of those skills is simping over Alastor. The man could do no wrong, and that perspective Vox held would be made obvious whenever Alastor was called out for his bullshit. You see, Alastor is a jokester. He enjoys entertaining himself. A master of shenanigans, if you will. He would find no difficulty in doing such things around the V-Tower. Specifically, to Valentino. While Alastor’s pranks would be mild to most– often involving a play on words, his pranks on Valentino would be much more… severe. He might pour oil on the staircase in Valentino’s bedroom. Or replace his eye drops with acid. Alastor would find every second of Valentino’s suffering to be highly amusing. Valentino would regularly complain to Vox, who would jump to Alastor’s defense in a heartbeat. Alastor would never be scolded. There might be a time or two that Vox would ask him, in private, to cool down the intensity of his pranks on Valentino, but Vox would make no real effort to stop Alastor’s antics.

Alastor and Vox were best friends, first and foremost. They'd spend time together, whether it was inside the V-Tower or elsewhere. Alastor enjoyed walking around town, simply to people-watch. So, that’s what Vox would enjoy too. Only, he just people-watched Alastor. If they passed by a store and Alastor’s eyes lingered on something in the window for even a second too long, Vox would be at the cash register buying said item without a second thought. Alastor particularly did this with food. Vox had come to realize, however, that anything sweet Alastor looked at was more for how pretty it appeared rather than the taste. He wouldn’t buy Alastor anything sweet.

Alastor would end up needing a separate room in the V-Tower from his bedroom just to hold the trinkets and objects Vox would buy him. He also would have his own radio studio at the top of the tower. Vox would offer him assistants and secretaries, but Alastor would refuse, preferring to be a one-man show. Anyone else simply wasn’t good enough. Alastor’s bedroom and studio would be the most old-fashioned parts of the tower. He would keep to his old ways, preferring to do things the way he liked and was comfortable with. However, he wouldn’t be unreasonably averse to modern technology.

Alastor would own a cell phone. Vox would insist he did so he could call him or text him in an emergency. Alastor would barely touch it, often forget to take it with him, wouldn't remember to charge it, and when he texts, he'd type and reply so slowly it would give Velvette a headache. Vox would introduce him to mobile games at one point, searching through the app store to find something Alastor might like. He'd come across Plague Inc. and started playing it so Al could learn how to play. Alastor would end up falling asleep, bored by the entire experience. Vox would make a note that Alastor just didn’t like cell phones like a normal person would.

Alastor would hang out with Velvette a lot. She'd hate every second of it, which would only make Alastor enjoy her company even more. On several occasions, Velvette would end up calling Vox to come get his deer, “He’s distractin’ me!” And that he would be. He'd tell her jokes and bad puns until she yelled at him to shut up.

Alastor's only interactions with Valentino would be to make snide remarks or to prank him. However, some of Valentino’s employees would come into talking range with Alastor sometimes, and Alastor, forever the talkative, charismatic gentleman he was, would attempt to engage in conversation. So long as that conversation didn’t veer into inappropriate territory, which it usually didn’t. All of Valentino’s employees understood that Alastor and Valentino hated each other and were on opposite ends of the sexual spectrum. Actually, one employee managed to name Alastor’s lack of sexual interest. This person would have been Angel Dust.

“Asexual” Angel called him the third time they ran into each other. “Excuse me?” “You’re asexual. Ya don’t like sex. Like, at all.” Alastor would be offended that Angel even brought the topic up at first, and when Angel attempted to say it was okay to be asexual and it was just a word to describe people like him, Alastor would have scared him off with a tightened grin and a thinly veiled threat. But Alastor would think about this a lot, and eventually come to terms with it. He would ask Vox about it, and Vox wouldn’t be surprised in the least bit. Alastor would hold a bit of a soft spot for Angel Dust after this, but he’d never show it or admit to it.

Alastor would still own his soul. Niffty and Husk were his favorites, and he would summon them into the tower on occasion to handle some business. He didn’t like anyone touching his stuff, but he could trust Niffty and thus, she'd be his personal maid. Husk would become a secretary of sorts. Anything Alastor didn’t want to deal with, Husk was tasked with doing. From meeting with people on Al’s behalf to running errands. Even doing paperwork. Husk would be paid in booze.

Vox got to use Husk and Niffty too. Niffty would be the only one delicate enough to dust the wires in his control room and not mess anything up. Husk would be tasked with feeding Vox’s sharks from time to time. Husk would quickly become afraid of sharks.

Vox would attend Carmilla’s meetings with Alastor; Velvette and Valentino would not. Vox would always sit next to Al, pulling his chair a bit closer to Alastor than the other overlords sat from each other. No one would mention it. It would be a common belief in Hell that Alastor and Vox were secretly a couple, but no one would dare to voice it out loud. Rosie would sit on Alastor’s other side.

After the meetings, Rosie, Vox, and Alastor would all go out to eat somewhere. Seeing as Alastor and Vox were good friends, it would be only natural for Rosie to develop a friendship with Vox as well. Whenever Alastor left the table, Rosie would prod Vox to confess his feelings to Alastor. Vox would deny he had any. Whenever Vox left the table, Rosie would prompt Alastor to tell her his thoughts on Vox. Alastor’s thoughts would always be vague but positive. Rosie could get nowhere with them.

Speaking of Alastor’s friends, Vox and Mimzy would have a bickering relationship. They’d argue a lot, but they both cared for Alastor, in their own ways. Sometimes, Alastor would get too rowdy or feral and Vox would pay Mimzy to deal with him and return him home safely. Alastor would always come home drunk, and Vox would put him to bed. He loved tucking Alastor into bed and making sure he was safe and snuggled up in his silky, hoof-print sheets. Alastor would wake up the next morning with a hangover and no memory of what happened the night before. Mimzy would also have no memory of what happened. Luckily for Vox, his placement of cameras all over the city and inside most buildings would prove useful. Once he put Alastor to bed, Vox would roam through the camera footage and watch what took place. It would always be Alastor and Mimzy drinking too much, dancing on tables, and then stumbling around, disappearing into his shadows, reappearing, looking around confused, then eventually finding his way back to the V-Tower. On days when Vox was particularly worried about Alastor, he’d watch the camera feeds in real-time, spying on Alastor’s time with Mimzy.

Alastor would enjoy being part of the Vees and Vox would be so happy to have Alastor close by. Ahh, what could’ve been!

[pimp-overlord]

Hii! You’re Valentino, right?

yes, amorcito, the one and only.~ you dont want a role, do you?

he smirks, leaning down to you to inspect your figure.

[asktheveesavoxtekblog]

A VoxTek Commercial

[catwinterberry]

Cursed Cat Alastor ／(=✪ x ✪=)＼

This one was fun