#hazbin hotel lilith headcanon

[rubra-wav]

Hi I have this super specific idea if you could maybe do headcanons for it

Charlie, Lilith and Lucifer met Lucifers ex wife which Lucifer left for Lilith and she has changed alot her personality has gone from a shy submissive woman to a more independent and emotionally stronger woman (if you could maybe add the ex wife's daughter and son that are also Lucifer's which he did now about) could you make it angst and platonic thank you

Charlie, Lucifer & Lilith x Lucifer's ex!reader : 'A Changed Soul'

A/N It got a bit vague with lore at points so I'm sorry if the gaps I filled in were really off (Thinking about Lucifer giving more kids daddy issues bro 💀🧍🏻‍♂️)

She's written as an angel who's gone to hell to look at the hotel for Sera after Pentious is redeemed/ the extermination.

Also yeah ofc this is my headcanons for how Lilith acts and whatnot, could be proved absolutely wrong in S2. Never in a million years thought I'd be writing Lilith directly 😭

Cw: SFW, angst, fem!reader, platonic

Charlie

- When you show up on her doorstep, introducing yourself as (name) and as here to review the hotel, she's in awe of you frankly.

- Charlie would be shocked upon meeting you for several reasons.

- Obviously, you're her dad's ex which is extremely awkward to say the least, but also you're so much more different than what she had heard from all the rumours surrounding you.

- Charlie of course agrees to allow you to look around despite how cautious Vaggie is of you, trailing ahead of you and nervously explaining the hotel's various amenities as she went.

- She calms down slightly when you say that you don't hold anything much against her for simply being the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. That you were just here for business and nothing more.

- At one point during the tour, you abruptly stop in front of the big family portrait of Charlie, Lucifer and Lilith, fist and jaw clenched as you look up at it.

- Charlie stands near the hall as she watches your halo glowing somewhat threateningly before you sigh deeply and calm yourself. She's sympathetic to your anger.

- It's then when Charlie is utterly horrified to learn that she actually has half siblings that she never knew about as you tell her about them.

- And that's when Lucifer himself finally shows up.

- All in all, Charlie just feels incredibly bad for you, she's not too surprised at how different you were since Lucifer left as she wasn't born at that point. She's more shocked to learn that she has family she never knew about.

Lucifer

- When Lucifer sees you in the hotel next to Charlie who ALSO looks displeased at him, he instantly starts panicking.

- "(n-name)! It's been a while- I-! Whats- uh. How have you... been?" Sweat rolls down his brow as he awkwardly grins, looking rapidly between you and his angry daughter.

- You raise a brow at him, hands on your hips as you eye him. "You mean how have I been after you left me and my kids?"

- Lucifer is floored by the tone you give him and takes a couple of seconds to truly realise how much you've changed since he was in heaven. It's clear as can be that you aren't who he used to know.

- Terrible guilt stabbed into him as he realised he was definitely the reason why your warmth and shyness had seemingly ceased to exist.

- He apologised, looking to the side while awkwardly shifting on the spot.

- Truthfully, Lucifer rightfully felt awful about what had happened. It stung to hear you refer to the kids you had together as not 'our' but solely 'my', and to see it was very obvious that you had moved on from him even if you were still pissed off.

- Lucifer naively followed Lilith away from you and look where that got him: Divorced by her, and left all alone to pick up the broken pieces.

- You shortly left after the small exchange you had with him, thanking Charlie on your way out and leaving him to deal with her confronting him about you and your kids.

Lilith

- Lilith was the last person you'd ever want to see again. However, she was a mark on the mission that Sera had given you, and you didn't want to drag out the rather unhappy trip down memory lane you'd already taken that day.

- You were already irritated as you approached Lilith to find her sipping a cocktail and reading a magazine.

- She looked up as you came to a stop about a metre from her seat. Her eyebrows instantly raised upon recognising you.

- "I have to say, it's not fun to know that the homewrecker who your husband left you and your kids for divorced him and then abandoned the daughter she had with him."

- Your words sent irritation flooding through Lilith, overpowering her surprise at your transformation and making her lip curl.

- "You ought to hold your tongue while in my presence." She coldly hissed, sitting up and folding her arms.

- The conversation with her would be even shorter then Lucifer. You simply telling her that that she ought to pay more attention to what her daughter was doing and the stir Charlie was causing for both heaven and hell alike.

- Lilith wouldn't feel a lick of remorse for her actions unlike Lucifer, and her surprise at the 180 your personality had done would be secondary. She truly doesn't care at all for what she did.

- She would be more angry than anything that you are lecturing her about what she believes is her own business and that you have the 'audacity' to address her in such a disrespectful manner.

Dramaaaaa

[beanthebugboi]

Canon/Headcanon likelihood chart

So I've been thinking about @macdenlover 's "levels of headcanon" chart (about how heavily a HC is influenced by canon), so I decided to make my own scale about how likely a HC is to be true (including different levels of canon) using queer cartoon characters as examples :)

I just spent an hour making this because I was bored. Enjoy.

Inspiration:

[elsa-fogen]

Dance with Radio Demon

Lilith was forsing him into dancing with her. She was trying to make him want her and never let him have it, but Alastor just...isn't into that, and Lilith is kinda confused. Al could consider it a win, but he'd prefer never had this situation at all

And now some comfort...

Soo... yeah. I want to traumatize him as much as posible and then give him comfort with Rosie. They are literally everything.....

[helluvapoison]

For All to See

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader x Lilith

Lilith has Lucifer and Lucifer has Lilith. Their eyes are well trained for snakes in the garden, they’re able to watch each other’s backs with ease. Everyone wants to know, just who the fuck are you to the King and Queen of Hell?

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

• Technically speaking, they don’t need you

• Your heart lurches at the constant reminders

• Everywhere you look there’s capable hands doing anything you could do, and doing it better

• The guards around the Morningstar estate are appreciated and skilled but merely for show, their wise (albeit chaotic) council of Princes have never led them astray and they have more willing servants than they know what to do with

• It’d be impossible to forget how agonizingly obvious it is that you’re not needed beside them. Occasionally it was a paralyzing thought. You were nothing without them but they could continue on just fine without you

• And Lilith, ethereal, graceful, benevolent Lilith, noticed this. Her own heart ached for you, she loved you!

• You tenderly brushed her hair when she hadn’t even rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Combined with her husband’s efforts, you would make her feel beautiful when her mind told her the opposite. You would be on your feet beside her all day, shooting little thumbs ups that restored her energy when she was nearly depleted. Your unfailing attendance from her concerts to afternoon tea brought a comforting sense of normalcy to the disorder of the realm she ruled

• Lucifer, who loved you no less than she, was furious at himself for not realizing on his own

• You were his alarm clock, gently coaxing him out of bed and making the day seem more inviting than it did when he opened his eyes. You snuck into his room when everyone else (Lilith aside) was banished, claiming only to drop off a tray of snacks but would sit with him for hours on end just so that he wouldn’t be alone. When the world was too big, his own thoughts too heavy, it was you that made him feel bigger and stronger

• And you thought of yourself as inconsequential!?

• Blasphomy.

• They would not let this stand another fucking second

• They covered all their bases, working from the inside out

• You were instructed to join them for a portrait. Lucifer picked your outfit while Lilith did your hair then they sandwiched you between them. It took several hours and you ached from standing still for so long but the painting looked absolutely marvelous. Lilith ordered it to be hung in the lobby

• “Not the bedroom?” You asked quietly, tilting your head up at her

• “As much as I’d love to, no. This needs to be seen by our guests! Besides, I have your darling face right there every morning.” She replied sweetly and kissed your cheek on her way out

• You were utterly floored when you saw a detailed third chair, right to Lucifer’s, in the throne room. Meetings were only held here once a month for the public to bring their qualms to the royals but they took a full day to bring to conclusion. Lucifer’s smile widened at your reaction

• “Do you like it?” He asked knowingly, “It’s for you.”

• “Me? I— yes! Yes, it’s lovely. I just don’t understand, I-I was alright standing.” You blink rapidly, your mind racing to catch up with his words

• “Don’t be silly, dove! These matters are a bore and take eternity. This was long overdue.” Lucifer takes your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles, smiling at you apologetically

• Polygamy wasn’t something to clutch pearls over down here and you were never a dirty secret. Magazines, networks, media just happened to only feature the King and Queen of Hell (Later, Lucifer would always point out the blurry spec that was you behind them or to the side or cut off the page) So when you were yanked between them during their red carpet debut, you stared at the camera flashes like a deer in the headlights. Their grips on either of your hands kept you from floating too high

• While your view on the situation changed drastically, it wasn’t atonement enough for Lilith and Lucifer. They never wanted you to feel immaterial ever again

• “You’re not nothing to us,” Lucifer said, holding your left hand. He hid his face in the crook of your neck where you could feel him smiling against your skin

• “We would never abandon you,” Lilith whispered while slipping a matching golden band around your finger. She had you sitting in her lap, facing away from her. She held your hand up for you to see the new obvious, your next reminder of their devotion for you

• Suffocating on their love for you, you choked back a sob to not ruin the moment. Lilith wrapped her arms around you and Lucifer, bringing you both closer to her heart

[sophica1]

I hate Alastor squad

I just had the funniest head canon of Lucifer going to meet Vox to help Charlie with advertisiment or something (maybe some silly ducks related things idk) and while talking being like "yeah I just wanna help my precious daughter but that radio demon what an asshole am I right?" And Vox literally tearing with joy because someone finally understands him (the king of hell himself) and so starting this crazy tantrum about hating Alastor while Lucifer is like: 🤨

Until he casually mentions that he's been away for 7 YEARS and Lucifer gasps in realisation connecting all the dots. He really hates Alastor now.

[societalenemynumberone]

Imagine being Lucifer's older sibling

Like, you're a Cherubim (cause some Cherubs have different roles so you would be way stronger and better than the ones in Helluva Boss) who's been kinda kept from present-day news cause you've been chilling in the Garden of Eden protecting the Tree of Life and training other Cherubs

Then Emily invites you to Charlie's meeting as a council member and you go but you have no idea what this meeting is about so other council members have to constantly be keeping you up to date on what everyone is talking about DURING the meeting

"Ok, so that's Charlie Morningstar-"

"Morningstar?"

"And her girlfriend, Vaggie. An ex-exorcist-"

"An ex-exorc-What??"

"And they're here to prove sinners can be redeemed-"

"Ok...But why is everyone singing???"

"Well-"

"And is that the fucking first man????"

And you'd have to have Hell and Lucifer and Lilith and Adam all explained to you but all you really hear is that you have a niece that you never knew about

So you go down to Hell just to meet Charlie and see Lucifer. And Charlie gets all excited to have an unfallen angel on their side so she explains the hotel to you but Lucifer would be showing you all his ducks at the exact same time-

Even though you were kept from any news outside of the Garden of Eden to keep you from being unjust, I like to imagine that you have the most Deadpool personality of all time

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Charlie, Alastor, God, Lucifer, Lilith, Vox, and Stolas with the Grim reaper reader. He's a total sweetheart and a gentleman, plus the kind of has dead animals follow him around. They're kind of like his pets. He also believes in Charlie's cause.

You'll be the end of me

Charlie

"Do you really think it could work?"

Charlie asked softly, leaning on your shoulder as you stared out at Pentagram city.

It was early morning, you having found your love sat out on the balcony, watching thr sunrise, you quickly accompanying her.

Holding the young lady close, her gentle form against your own, you just hummed, gently petting her hair.

"Well, I've seen a lot in my, well, not life." That got a chuckle from the both of you. "But I've been sheparding souls down here for millennia... never had to shepard one up from Hell though."

You sat in silence for a long time, it clear Charlie was disappointed with your answer.

"But..." You spoke up, smiling softly. "If its you... I have no doubt."

Charlie smiled warmly at your words, leaning in to share a kiss.

Pulling back you just enjoyed the moment, the two of you so rarely got to just be together.

No hotel buisness.

No staff or guests butting in.

No Nifty trying to draw erotica of the two of you.

Just you.

You holding the young lady close, expressing your love for her in soft, simple ways.

You got to share that moment for a long while, making a memory you were sure to cherish when suddenly the sound of gentle wings fluttering caught your attention.

Looking down, you extended a hand, a small skeletal bird landing on your finger.

You gently whistled back, Charlie doing the same, the bird looking over the both of you before fluttering away, the gentle creature off to do whatever it pleased.

You sat there for a long time, listening to the gentle chaos, the sounds of havoc at a distance as Hell endured its Hellish state, the teo of you just enjoying the moment.

With a sombre sigh you stood up, stretching your back you turned to her, pulling her to her feet.

Holding her close, you'd gently cup her face.

"I'm sorry my dear." You spoke with a warm smile, before you shared another kiss.

"It'll be morning soon, and well, you know souls won't Shepard themselves."

Charlie was clearly disappointed, as she always was when you had to leave.

"I understand." She spoke softly, the two of you standing there for a long minute.

"You know I'll be back tomorrow." You assured her, though it was clear it wasn't necessary.

"I know." She spoke warmly. The two of you sharing one last, loving embrace.

You'd turn, watching as the pentagram sun slowly rose on the horizon.

"See you this evening?" Charlie asked, already knowing the answer.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

And so, as you held each other close, you watched the sun rise, and sharing one final kiss, you'd disappear with the morning sun.

Charlie just smiled as you turned into a swarm of butterflies, fluttering off into the air, disappearing with the sunlight

Unnecessarily, but you felt it was a poetic exit for, well, death.

Charlie just chuckled.

"Drama queen." She spoke softly, watching you disappear.

Alastor

Alastor hummed softly, the dapper demon sat in his room as he listened to a pleasant tune.

It'd be as he sipped his tea, the man about to turn a page when a voice suddenly cut in.

"Weeeeeee'll meet again."

"Don't know where. Don't know when."

"But weee'll meet again, some sunny morn'."

Looking up he'd find you, dressed in your usually dapper if dark attire.

Alastor's smile grew, the man quickly rising to his feet.

With a warm smile of your own, you pulled the man into a gentle kiss.

"Hello dear, good day at work?" He asked, always eager to hear of your daily duties.

You just smiled, walking forwards, leaning down to kiss the man.

"A wonderful morning, but we even better evening darling."

You purred, kissing he cheek.

You spent a few minutes speaking back and forth, your hand warmly placed to his cheek as you spoke back and forth.

Youd joke and laugh, voice gentle as you discussed your day apart. Alastor letting you know the chaos he'd caused, you just listening as he went into a performer's detail of the events.

Pulling the man to his feet, you'd dip the man, smirking as you leaned in, Alastor wearing a strained, if entertained grin.

"I've wanted to do this all day."

Biting the man's neck, Alastor couldn't help the moan as you pulled him close.

Flushed, the man would smack you.

"That's was a dirty move." The demon frowned.

You just smiled, kissing the man softly. "You know I love you, especially when your blushing~"

Alastor blushed hard as you snapped your fingers, a jumping tune bumping from the nearby radio.

You pulled the man into a suave little dance, the two of you jumping and jiving like it were 1922 all over again.

You spent a good few minutes dancing and singing, holding the man close as you enjoyed your tune.

Holding him close, the both of you breathed heavily.

"That's a dirty trick." He huffed, breathing deep, that smirk he always wore on his face faltering, his cheeks dark with demonic red. "You know I can't turn down a chance to dance."

You just smirked, holding him to your chest, leaning in to kiss his neck.

"You know, if you weren't death incarnate, I'd put you in your place."

You just smirked, leaning back to tease his chin, smirking down at him.

"Out of all the souls in Hell, you... well, your certainly the most interesting."

That earned you a smack on the shoulder.

"Alright, alright." You giggled. "You are by far the most intersting. You know I adore you."

That earned you a genuine smile from the grinning demon.

Alastor always smiled, but in the arms of you, well, death. How could he not feel particularly smug.

"... I love you, my dapper radio darling."

That got a smirk from the man.

"And I love you... my dapper incarnation of Death.... even as you pretend to be otherwise."

The both of you chuckled, holding each other close, nuzzling your nose to the other.

"Love you darling."

Lucifer

Lucifer, Fallen angel, failed king of Hell and failing father, sat in his workshop.

The man furiously working on his next duck toy, the Devil furiously working on the next plastic squeaker, dead to the world outside.

"Having fun?" You asked, manifesting besides him.

Lucifer frize, thr Demon King breathing deeply.

"Im... good." He hummed, working on the duck.

The two of you stood in silence for several minutes, the air not quite tense, but words clearly sat unspoken.

"... I missed you." He finally spoke up placing his duck to the side, the King of Hell sitting there.

You simply stepped forwards, picking up the squeaky toy, looking it over.

Squeaking the rubber duck repeatedly, the man looked up, finding you sat on an armchair, looking over the toy before turning to him, gently patting your lap.

Lucifer sat there for a moment, taking a deep breath before getting up and walking over to you, collapsing in your lap.

You immediately pull him close, as the two of you sat there, the king of Hell nuzzling under your chin.

"I missed you... a lot..." he spoke, emotions thick in his voice as he pressed his face into your chest.

You just pulled him close, smiling softly as you warmly kissed his golden locks.

"I missed you too my Fallen Angel." You hummed, hand playing with his heair, you other holding him close.

"It was bad today." He spoke softly, you simply looking down at him.

"You know we could always visit her, I'm sure Charlie would be-"

Lucifer cut you off, pulling from your grasp as he stood up.

"I... I wont put this on her..." He spoke sombrely, the King of Hell hunched over, holding himself.

You just sighed softly, gently waving a hand as 3 little ghost duckling appeared, the ethereal little quackers, Lucifer smiling as he held a hand out, the ducks nuzzling his palm.

He had a way with your duck spirits, the feathered little ghosts naturally flocking to him. It always brought a smile to your face.

After a moment however, a new set of quacks break out, the duckling quickly swimming off, the duckling meeting with a larger duck, the three nuzzling its form as they happily swam about.

You sat up, pulling the short king back into your chest, smiling warmly as you kissed his head.

"You trust me with your issues... why not your daughter... we both love you."

Lucifer sighed, eyes lingering on the ethereal ducks as the papa duck nuzzled one of the ducklings. The king sighing, the King of Sins wiping his eyes.

"Alright. I... suppose we could go see her." He spoke softly, the man leaning back against you.

You just smiled softly, rubbing the back of his head as you stood there. The two of you just stood there, holding each other close, a soft, yet hopeful energy filling the room.

"I love you my dark rose." Lucifer purred.

"And I love you, my Fallen Angel." you smiled, the two of you sharing a tender kiss, a warmth in both your dark hearts.

Lilith

Lilith sat back on the beach, sighing softly as she enjoyed her slice of heaven.

The woman sipped her drink, book in hand as she hummed, a sombreness filling her on this particular day.

You appeared besides her, watching the sun set.

"Been a while." She spoke coldly, eyes not rising from her book.

"Yeah... sorry... I know it's been a while, Ive been very busy. Lots to do... my duties and, well, Charlie."

That made her pause, the woman freezing as she was about to flip a page.

"... How is she?" Lilith spoke cooly, keeping her poker face.

You hummed, a soft smile adorning your features.

"She... she's doing well." You spoke softly, cane resting in your hand as you watched the waves, a gentle smile crossing your face as a few ghostly fish jumped from the water, the small school happily swimming, free of worry.

"She's got a hotel now. She... she's trying to help people. Souls." You spoke sombrely, the woman doing her best to stay cool and collected.

You'd sigh, softly sitting on her beach chair, turning to her before gently reaching out and removing her sunglasses.

"Ya know, if your just gonna ignore me the whole time, it doesn't make much sense for you to get mad when I don't visit for a while."

You were teasing more then anything, the woman looking up at you with a cocked brow.

"Look, I get your mad." You spoke, taking her hand into yours. "But I'm here, and I'd like to enjoy my time with you while i have it... please?"

You finished sweetly, kissing her hand.

Lilith would sit in silence for several moments before sighing, the woman shaking her head.

"You always know just what to say, don't you?" She asked playfully.

You just smiled, reaching out to cup her face.

"I've got some experience consoling people." You told her warmly, bringing her hand up to kiss her palm.

"Will you accompany me?" She asked, clearly worried.

You just chuckled, nodding your head.

"You know I'd never leave your side... well, at least when I'm off the clock."

That got a chuckle from Lilith, the two of you just basking in Heavens twilight. You more interested in watching the spirits jump through the water, happy to see them happy.

Vox

Vox grymbled, rubbing his TV face he, slumping back in his chair he lazily stared at the dozens of screens.

He'd grumble, growling to himself.

Hed endured a long fucking day, dealing with Val and Velvette, being left alone with the pair, the two bickering like children as he somehow found the time go manage his media empire.

He'd sit there, looking over important things, sipping his particularly strong cup of coffee when your voice suddenly cut in.

"You know, you keep slouching like that and you'll resemble a question mark more than a Television, right."

Vox perked right up, head snapping to you as you stood besides him. Dapper as ever.

It was well known by this point that you could appear or disappear without signalling his alarms, something that both impressed and frustrated the media mogul to no end.

"Mmmm, I'll keep that in mind." He hummed, loudly slurping his coffee.

You just chuckled, rolling your eyes. "You know, if your gonna be all salty, I might just not give you your gift."

At that Vox perked right up, the man subtly turning to you.

It was a dirty move on your part, but you knew Vox loved gifts and this was the fastest way to get him over his grudge or grump.

He'd never admit as much, but you did get him the best gifts out of everyone he knew, which was a feat in and of itself, so you knew how to use it to your advantage.

"...What ya get me?"

He asked, trying to be subtle as he gave you the side eye.

To which you just chuckled, fixing your attire, acting casual as you glanced down at the man.

You'd just casually look around his large lab, the various screens showing his sophisticated spying network on the various denizens of Hell.

With a cheeky smile you snapped your fingers, a poof of black smoke and a box landed on Vox's lap.

The Television headed demon released a giddy giggle as he tore his gift open, the man pulling it out victoriously.

He'd yank it out, holding it up to reveal a walking stick, looking it over it was clearly made with human bone.

"This... is cool and all but, well, why the bone?" He asked, looking up at you suspiciously.

You'd just smile, stepping forwards, falling onto his lap, sliding it from his hands, you'd tell him simply.

"Well, ya see, I made this lil beauty using the bones from one Mr. Philo Farnsworth."

You spoke casually, looking over the cane.

"Aaand... that means something to me why?"

He asked, clearly waiting for the punchine.

To which you'd chuckle, biting your lip a little before you'd gently bop him on the head with the cane.

"Beeecaaause, one Mr. Philo Farnsworth, was none other then the inventor one Televeision."

You finished with a satisfied little grin, holding the cane out to him.

Vox snatched the vane up, laughing maniacly as he pulled the cane back, staring at the gift.

"Ohohohohoh fuck yeah~" He laughed, staring at the cane.

"Sooo~" you began playfully. "Have I made up for the inexcusable sin of ignoring your calls to a phone I don't have?"

At that Vox popped up, staring at you.

"Wait, what?" He asked, genuinely perplexed by your statement.

You just smiled, raising a bow. "My job doesnt exactly allow mobile coverage darling, far too busy peading souls through the etherial planes."

Vox furrowing his none existent brow, frowing slightly.

"Then who the fuck have I been texting?"

At that you broke into laughter, Vox quickly joining you, the two of you sat there, laughing like idiots as the Techno Overlord held you close, the two of you sharing a warm kiss, the two of you sat there for several moments, Vox sighing softly.

"You have to work again?" He asked sombrely, looking up to show a screen watching the setting sun.

You just sighed, nodding your head. "You know I have too. No vacations for me."

Vox just sighed, nodding his head.

Reaching up, you'd cup his cheek, leaking in to kiss his screen.

"Lets just enjoy the time we have."

Vox just smiled, holding you close, the two of you enjoying your moment together, free from both of your perpetual burdens.

[spacebubblehomebase]

Shit post!

Don't take this too seriously, but LMAO XD. -Bubbly💙

[redfluffz]

I'm sorry @vrtlkm but your little dialogue on the Mike-question was too good to not imagine as a little comic strip. 😅🤣

The first panel almost killed me, but I'm happy how it turned out ...

The special is coming today aswell ... still working on it. Had a rough week.

[hells-wasabii]

How would each of the Hell characters(Hotel group, Lucifer, Overlords, Vees) do while cooking entirely on their own? Can be platonic or romantic, whichever you want

A/N: So I know I said 2, but the other one isn’t ready yet I’m still writing it. It’s gonna be pretty big too since it’s that velvette part 2. But I had to get my cat spayed today so I’ve been super busy all day keeping her out of trouble and from hurting herself :/ but anywho, enjoy!

Characters: All that I write for

Type: Hesdcanons (hazbin cast cooking headcanons)

Charlie

With Charlie, I’m a little torn. On the one hand, she’s a princess, so cooking would likely be more of a novelty considering she likely had staff to do it for her. But this is Charlie we’re talking about. She would go out of her way to learn how to cook. Wouldn’t give up either, not until she could do it on her own. I would imagine that she started learning from Vaggie and reading cookbooks.

Vaggie

When it comes to Vaggie, she can cook some, but she’s definitely super humble about it, brushing off any compliments because it’s ‘just food’. If the issue is pressed I can see her getting a little embarrassed about it. It’s mostly dishes that she had been taught while she was growing up, along with basic dishes that don’t necessarily require a honed skill to make.

Angel

Angel can cook, though he doesn’t exactly put much effort into it. I can definitely see him just throwing something together so he can eat and move on with whatever else he has going. Baking is a different story. I can really imagine while he was growing up he would sneak his way into the kitchen while his mother and Molly were baking. He picked it up pretty easily. And as someone who enjoys baking let me just say that his extra set of arms would be so helpful.

Husk

Husk was an entertainer in life, growing up in a casino, learning the trades in the house. That also includes the kitchens. Sure he likely didn’t spend a whole lot of time there but he still picked up a thing or two. So he’d be able to hold his own fairly well when it comes to making a homecooked meal.

Alastor

While it’s canon that the radio demon can cook, I feel like he specifically likes to cook recipes his mother left behind. Cooking recipes from his youth reminds him of joining his mother in the kitchen whipping something up for lunch and helping her prep for dinner. He’s not all that adventurous in the kitchen, though. He likes to stick with what he knows and what he grew up with.

Niffty

Having died in the 50s as a young housewife, I genuinely believe that she at least knows some fad recipes, like those salads and casserole recipes. Jello molds too. But that’s not to say that she wouldn’t know some basic stuff. I can definitely see Niffty being the type to try to create whole new recipes with varying, mostly horrifying results.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is a genius, there’s no doubt about that, but the man can’t cook. At all. He’d burn water honestly. But baking? Oh yeah, he can bake with out a doubt(but not necessarily the decorating part), it’s basically science, but not cook. He’d quite honestly have the Egg Bois help, but let’s be honest here, that’d be a disaster too.

Cherri Bomb

I’ll admit, I wasn’t to sure about Cherri. She just doesn’t seem like the type to cook. Nah. Cherri is the queen of takeout. She can boil water but that’s really about it. Honestly, she’s only really a couple of steps above Sir Pentious, but she can’t bake either. Sometimes though, before Angel went off to the hotel, she would go out and buy ingredients and stuff and go to his apartment and they (he) would make something.

Vox

This man absolutely can cook, and he’s pretty damn good at it too. Considering he’s the television demon, he’s going to have several cooking shows. Hell, he even stars in a couple of them. That being said, he’s not one to do things half-assed. Sure, a lot of cooking shows have stuff that was prepared beforehand, but with Vox’s he goes out of his way to actually make the dishes in real time.

Valentino

I stand by my headcanons from my Valentino posts. He can cook, but it’s honestly a solid 50-50 on whether or not it’s burnt or edible. He’s pretty easily distracted, whether it’s a phone call or something else entirely, so if it's a dish that you have to pay close attention to, it’s likely to not turn out right.

Velvette

Velvette can do some light cooking, but nothing too extravagant. She’s got more important things to do, such as keeping Vox and Valentino on track. With a schedule as busy as hers, I don’t think she would cook often, preferring either Vox’s cooking or takeout. Oh but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t take a picture and post it, because it’s Velvette, of course she does. Oh! But She’s probably been on Vox’s show as some sort of celeb guest type deal, the dish they made definitely stuck with her, so she might make it from time to time.

Zestial

Considering how long Zestial has been around, I would be more surprised if he couldn’t cook. You can’t convince me that after a while he at one point went through hobbies like a revolving door. Cooking absolutely would have been one of them. This man would absolutely try making the craziest things. He’d be up to date on all of the cooking fads, know recipes and cooking methods from several time periods and cultures. With him, there’s no telling what he might cook up next.

Carmilla

While I don’t think that she would really set aside time to cook often, she’s pretty skilled in the kitchen. Carmilla would likely have a couple of nights out of the month set aside to cook a meal with/for her and the girls, a tradition that carried on from their life before hell. She’d even take the opportunity to try new things while cooking.

Rosie

Oh, Rosie can absolutely cook, it’s canon that its a hobby of hers. She’s very well versed in a multitude of cooking methods, and while she may not entirely like a whole lot of new-age gadgets in the kitchen, she can’t really deny the fact that they can be quite useful. I’m willing to bet that she would have an Instapot (they’re great I have two and one of them has an air fryer attachment)

Adam

Adam would never openly admit it, but he knows how to cook. He was the first man, he would have had to learn eventually, even if it was something as simple as preparing meats. That being said, he can grill. I’d be willing to bet that he’d host a little barbeque after the annual exterminations for the exorcists, maybe even enter into grilling competitions.

Lute

Lute’s honestly a bit of a wildcard when it comes to cooking. She might have been able to cook while she had been alive, but nowadays not so much. It had been a long time since she actively made anything, so she’d be pretty rusty. But other than the basics, I don’t really see her being able to be too creative in terms of cooking either. She’d honestly probably stick to what she knows and wouldn’t stray too far away from that.

Emily

I don’t necessarily think that seraphim would really need to eat, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t or don’t. In Emily’s case, I would imagine it as a scenario where she wanted to do something to get closer to humanity. They were her charge after all, or rather their state of happiness. But all humans eat and many find joy in doing so and even in the act of cooking, so she absolutely would be thrilled to learn! She’s getting better at it by the day.

Sera

Sera had likely done the same as Emily when she was a young angel, though I don’t see her sticking with it. I definitely think that she taught Emily to start her on her little culinary journey. She can cook, she just… doesn’t. I’d even go as far as to say it’s been centuries since she’s actually cooked a meal of any kind. That being said, if she were to jump into the kitchen nowadays, she probably wouldn’t have a very easy time finding her way around.

Lucifer

Lucifer is a man of many talents. He can absolutely cook, possibly even Michelin level, he just chooses not to. He likely just considers it a novelty of sorts, considering he has the power to simply poof food right in front of him. Honestly, it’s pretty helpful whenever he’s depressed and doesn’t feel like making anything. But, when it comes to his family and friends, he’s more than happy to whip something up.

Lilith

Another one who would likely consider cooking to be a novelty. Considering how she’s the second most powerful being in hell, and fiercely independent with more important things to worry about. Lilith wouldn’t concern herself with cooking unless it was with her family, and even then it likely didn’t happen that often after Charlie grew up.

Bonus:

Alastor Cat

Would wind up burning what ever building its in down. Was it intentional? Was it an accident? The world may never know

[blaackbiird]

I imagine that getting clear pictures of Alastor is impossible. You can't get video or photos of him clear enough to make much out.

now imagine Lucifer having a sketchbook filled with lovingly rendered sketches of him that he guards like gold

just.

imagine the ship potential in general for Lucifer being an artist, it's perfect for any ship

imagine a hand-painted deck of cards for Husk, incredibly detailed wooden spiders for Angel, all those portraits of his family he personally painted for Lilith(maybe he designed/created her clothes! jewelry!)

i can't think of any other ships atm but you see what i'm getting at?? the potential!!!!

[https-alisa]

Lucifer and Alastor being in a queerplatonic relationship would cure all my heartbreaks

Alastor, because he is aroace and he doesn't feel anything romantic, but he still respects Lucifer (which doesn't stop Alastor from fighting him everyday)

Lucifer, because he still hasn't come to terms with his separation with Lilith and he just needs "a shoulder to cry on" sometimes

My headcanon is them meeting up past midnight only to drink wine and talk about life in hell. Not telling anybody about it the next day. (Only Charlie figured it out)

[elsa-fogen]

Escape from Heaven

It's not a new AU if you wondering, it's just a headcanon. Bunch of them.

I will probably make a part 2, sooo check original post if you found it through reblogs, i may have posted next part (or may not but check it anyway)

black text is supposed to be hard to read btw, in case it is

[voxslays]

Overcast Morning

Featuring >>> Alastor & Rosie x Reader (Separately)

Warnings: AFAB! Reader, Smut on Alastors part, way too much fluff in the beginning.

A/N: I know I’m posting this much later in the day than I normally would, but I’ll try to post it earlier tomorrow.

Rosie

It was an overcast, dim, and foggy, fall morning. A cold breeze carried leaves onto the doorstep of Rosie’s mansion, right beneath your feet. Rosie's expression softens as she gazes at the falling leaves, a reminiscent smile tugging at her lips. “Fall has always been my favorite season.” She turns to you, her eyes sparkling with nostalgia. “Mine too.” You say compassionately. Rosie nods, her silver hair shimmering in the dim light. “There's a certain melancholy beauty to it, don't you think? The way the leaves change color before falling, as if nature itself is putting on a final, spectacular show before the long winter's sleep.” She says gently, like a mother calming her children before bed. 

You take a sip of your tea, which is in one of Rosies’ beautiful fine china teacups. Rosie's gaze follows your movements, observing the way the tea steams in the chilly air. She reaches out, her cold fingers wrapping around the teacup as she lifts it to her lips. “Perhaps we could sit by the window and watch the leaves dance in the breeze?” She asks tenderly. “Of course.” You love the window seat, usually sitting there when you need to get work done, or to wind down before going to sleep. ​​Rosie's face lights up with a gentle smile. She leads you to the grand window seat, draped with plush, velvet cushions. Together, you sit and watch the world outside slowly transform, the air growing crisper and the leaves more vibrant. Rosie's shoulder leans against yours, seeking warmth. 

Rosie nestles closer, her voice barely a whisper. “I remember fall days like this from my childhood. The crisp air, the crunch of leaves underfoot...” She trails off, her eyes distant with memories. “It was a simpler time.” Rosie turns to you, her black eyes searching yours. Rosie's hand reaches out, her cold fingers intertwining with yours. “I often wonder if things would have been different if I had lived longer, been a better person maybe...But then again, I might never have met you.” Her tone is filled with the warmth of a thousand hugs. 

Rosie's thumb gently caresses the back of your hand, her touch light and gentle. “You bring a warmth to my life that I've never known before. Like the sun peeking through the clouds on a cold autumn day.” She leans in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Kiss me?” Your lips meet hers, as your tongues dance together, exploring the depths of eachothers mouths. Suddenly Rosie pulls away. Rosie's thumb traces patterns on the back of your hand, her touch light and gentle. “You bring a warmth to my life that I've never known before. Like the sun peeking through the clouds on a cold, overcast day.” She speaks softly. 

“I love you.” You place your hand on her now rosy red cheek. Rosie's eyes widen slightly, her breath hitching softly. A shy smile spreads across her face, her cheeks flushing ever so slightly. “And I love you.” She leans in, pressing her cold lips to yours in a gentle, tender kiss.

Alastor

It was a foggy autumn morning. It was cold and miserable, a sign that winter would be soon approaching. You sit by the window seat, a cup of hot chocolate in your hand, as you read ‘The Great Gatsby.’ Alastor walks into the room, his presence silent as a whisper. He approaches you, his eyes glowing with an otherworldly light as he takes in the scene before him. He reaches out a hand, gently taking the book from your hands and scanning through it. “Ah, Fitzgerald, one of the greats of American Literature.” Alastor notes as he closes the book and sets it down. He then reaches for the cup of hot chocolate, his fingers brushing against yours as he does so. He brings the cup to his lips, taking a sip and humming in approval at the warmth.

“Is it good?” You ask softly. Alastor's gaze meets yours over the rim of the cup. He smirks, taking another sip before answering. "Quite. Though, not as warm as you were last night." He sets the cup down, his hand reaching out to touch your cheek gently. "You're cold now." He notes. He stands up, his long coat flowing behind him as he walks over to the window. He pulls back the curtain, revealing the foggy autumn morning outside. He turns back to you, his eyes gleaming with an eerie light. "Let me warm you up." You walk over to him. He unbuttons his shirt, his muscled torso visible underneath. He steps closer, his hands reaching out to pull you into his embrace. His body was warm as he held you close to him, his arms wrapping around you tightly. As you lean into his warmth, you feel his lips pressing against the top of your head. He holds you like that for a moment, his heart beating steadily against your cheek. "There, that's better." He whispers, his breath tickling your hair. You are a blushing mess.

He grins, nuzzling into your hair. "Mhm. He kisses your forehead, his hands caressing your back soothingly. His fingers tracing patterns on your back. His hand slowly lowering. He lifts you up and sets you on the windowsill. He unzips his pants. His hands grip your thighs, parting them as he steps between them. He leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. His hands roam your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He breaks the kiss, his breath hot against your neck. "Wrap your legs around me."

His voice is commanding, he holds onto you tightly, his hands supporting you as he slowly enters you. His face buries into the crook of your neck, his hot breath against your skin. "So warm... just like before..." His voice drips with dark promise as he grips your thighs, pulling them apart further and wrapping them around his waist. He presses against you, his hands gripping your hips tightly. His eyes meet yours, filled with a raw, intense desire. "Hold on, love." 

He thrusts into you with a low groan, his hips snapping against yours. He sets a relentless pace, each thrust hitting deep inside you. His lips find your neck, kissing and biting as he takes you hard against the windowsill. He grins, nipping at your earlobe, his pace quickening. His hand tangles in your hair, gently tugging your head back to bare your neck to him. His hips pistoning into yours. His hand gripping the windowsill as he continued to slam into you. He captures your lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing your moans. His tongue delves into your mouth, dominating you completely. He reaches down, his thumb finding your clit, rubbing in tight circles. The dual stimulation proving too much as he feels you tightening around him.

He groans into your mouth as he feels your climax approaching. With a final hard thrust, he buries himself deep inside you, finding his own release. His body shuddering against yours as he spills himself within you. He holds you close, both of you panting and trembling in the aftermath. He slowly unwraps your legs from around his waist, his hands caressing your skin gently. He helps you down from the windowsill, his arms wrapping around you to keep you steady. His forehead rests against yours, his eyes filled with warmth. You spend the rest of the morning in eachothers arms.

[iammabelbrain]

lucifer trying to explain to charlie about the feelings he feels for y/n, because it's been years since he felt this feeling and he's scared that y/n will see him as a stranger

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

little kid Charlie seeing a drawing of a unicorn and excitedly comparing her own cloven hoofs and long wiggle tail to it. Unicorns as her heroes, able to heal people and help them, symbols of all things good and bright and happy

little kid Charlie spending a few years convinced she must be part unicorn, finally asking her dad about it- Lucifer not getting context at first and being all "you can be whatever you want Char-char~" only to realize too late she's being serious and she's gonna be crushed so he just changes the subject whenever it comes up trying to let her have fun as long as she can

(he also doesn't tell Lilith, bc Lilith will tell the truth and Lucifer can already picture the sad little look on Charlie's face when she hears..)

Charlie growing up and slowly noticing that a unicorn's tail is soft and fluffy and tasseled while hers is leathery and jagged and sharp. Looking down at her cloven hooves and realizing they're blood red. Staring at both her horns in the mirror, neither of them fluted, nothing magical about them- just a sign she's throwing a tantrum today

Lilith finds her hugging her fav fairytale book and crying and Lilith listens when she stumbles through the whole unicorn thing, how Charlie thought she was one but she's just a monster instead

so Lilith tells Charlie older stories about other unicorns. Dangerous wild and powerful creatures who came in strange colors and weren't always soft or gentle but were still beautiful. she turns little Charlie sideways between the wall and the light and shows her how two horns can look like one from the right angle

little Charlie cuddling into her mom's arms feeling better because her mom thinks she's perfect

but it's still a heavy thing, bc Charlie doesn't want to be wild or dangerous. She likes the kinds of unicorns who frolic through flowery meadows and summon rainbows with every step. Nice ones no one ever thinks of as scary

years later Lucifer has shut himself away and Lilith has vanished and Charlie's slipping into bed with a sigh, picking up a book of fairytales to read until her buzzing thoughts are quiet enough to let her sleep

next to her in bed Vaggie is giving her spear a last look over before it's time to lean it against the wall within easy reach

the shadow of the spear falls across the bed and onto the wall and Charlie lifts her hands to make a shadow puppet horse's head without thinking, combining the two until the spear becomes a horn and the shadow horse turns into a unicorn

Charlie giggles and Vaggie turns, smiles, spends the next few minutes trying to figure out how to give the unicorn a body without dropping the spear

eventually they're both laughing to hard and the shadow unicorn collapses. Snuggling up for sleep, Vaggie murmurs off handedly "I've got the best horned and hooved lady right here anyway. Unicorns could learn a thing or two from you, sweetie" before drifting off

Charlie all grown up and thinking about how she bandaged her girlfriend's eye the day they met. How always on edge Vaggie can spend an hour before bed checking exits and her weapon, but then relax and fall asleep the moment Charlie cuddles her

It's a pretty good magic to have, all grown up Charlie decides, much better than just summoning sparkles or rainbows

(a few years on from this and she looks down at the woman who cut out her girlfriend's eye and feels her horns and hooves and the urge to break bones with them, and she is more close to being like the wild, dangerous unicorns of her mom's stories than she'll ever know)