#having feelings abt my girl!!! and her suicidality

[partiallypearl]

𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙬 (𝙣𝙤𝙬)

[foccaccia]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

[partynthem]

anyway. it’s been a rough week

[kittlyns]

.

[weirdloverwilde]

i fucking hate myself i have to gget up in 4 hours

[xoxochb]

i begggggggg u to do a percy x socially awk reader where percy realises she has like 3 default emotes like “real” “what the flip 😨😨” “🤷‍♀️” or smth and like teases her abt it 🙏🙏🙏

— that one convo

warnings: none pairing: percy jackson x socially awkward! reader a/n: “wow this fic is very detailed with strong loathing for social interactions” yeah it’s because I’m projecting 🥰

social events were the bane of your existence, the reason you woke up every morning and wish you could die. unfortunately when you’re a demigod they’re hard to ignore, camper there, camper here, now you have camp chores… the list goes on. It wasn’t only that you loathed social interactions— you were painfully awkward. stepping outside was practical social suicide for you. which is why you kept to yourself and sat at cabin three table with the only boy you would tolerate speaking to

you take a handful of his assorted berries into your hands and onto your plate, eating them one by one

“so what’re you up to today?��� asks percy

you stop and think. you hadn’t planned your day out that far yet. “I’m not sure. maybe I’ll paint or read or sleep. I don’t know”

“that sounds great! I’m free today too, maybe I could come with you?”

“uhhh… yeah” you shrug “but I don’t want you interrupting my reading. can you stay quiet?”

“just for you” percy winks, maybe you scrunch your nose in disgust and return your focus to your breakfast. that’s when your worst fear happens. a camper walks to the table— presumably from cabin seven because her hair flies in rays of sunshine. you stiffen and avoid eye contact

“there’s a party in hermes cabin later, you coming?”

“I’ll be there! do you wanna come to, (name)?”

you swallow hard and nod. but no you do not want to go. parties were the home place of social situations and people. tons. of. people.

“okay, great! I’ll see you two tonight then” the girl smiles and leaves the table (your prayers had been answered! tyche would be getting extra offerings this morning for sure)

percy furrows his brows and turns fully to you. “what was that?”

now you avoid eye contact with him also. “what was what?”

“well, I mean you were talking to me fine and then that girl came over here and you forgot how!”

“I don’t like that girl” you lie

“you’ve never met her in your life and I know it because you only ever talk to me”

you frown. “I don’t like talking to anyone else…”

“I figured”

you give him a look of disapproval and hit him upside the head. “don’t be a smart-ass”

“you know what?” he says, ignoring your comment and action

the look on your face is bored. you know what he’s about to say. yet you sigh and reply, “what?”

“I’m glad you only talk to me. makes me feel special”

you close your eyes and shake your head slowly. percy laughs and plants a kiss to your cheek happily. when you open your eyes back up you see him staring at you creepily lovingly

“I really like you (nickname)”

mood: ruined. you groan and stand up. “you’re such a fucking weirdo, get away from me”

you hear percy shout behind you, “hey, you should’ve said that to that girl!”

[rainydayzxd]

「ABT ME」

Name: Rainy/tako

I LOVE MAKING FRIENDS LIKE SO SO MUCH GUYS DM ME I BEG YOU just please inform if you wanna be my friend and send an ask first ! :3

except for wierd pedos or smth ILL KNOW

age : 13!!!!! MINOR

pronouns: she/her

Gender: abrosexual, genderfluid and bisexual

 Mental stability: silly/lunatic/childhood dystopia/mentally unstable/suicidal/intense feeling of being abandoned /mind dysphoria/ likely have autism but too lazy to be tested + still have symptoms/ age regression

I actually have a caregiver and give him some appreciation @muder-boner

Music:TV girl💙🩷 indie stuff, jack stauber,KoRn, slipknot, eyedress, Alex g, the strokes, WEEZER, anything indie really

Collects : buttons, stickers, business cards, sketchbooks

I mainly post art and sometimes my outfits

Interests: mouthwashing, mlp , invader zim, Roblox, Fnaf, horror games, backrooms, comics, arcane, anime, gumball, inside job, Rick and Morty, dr stone, saiki k, umbrella academy, regular show, gravity falls

Styles: alt, grunge, punk, goblincore, wierdcore, dreamcore, 2000s, y2k, scene,emo, cutecore, cutegore, lolita, sweet lolita, goth lolita, goth, harajuku, decora, lamp girl, casual, gyaru,etc…

The rest is if ya wanna be my friend !

I am pretty creative and chaotic !

I tend to give nicknames like babe or honey to my close friends :3

I tend to apologise after a fun discussion :/

I love making friends and some of my friends here are closer to me than my irl friends !

hope you have fun on my blog !

[musicalmoritz]

I saw your post about giving tbhk characters songs and I noticed a bunch of them were musical theater and they fit so fucking well??

Like waving through a window for Sousuke and dead mom for Kou?? Unlikely lovers?? Music of the night??? Your mind omg.

I was wondering if you had more musical theater to tbhk characters stuff because id definitely like to hear them lol. It's totally fine if you don't have more, in case not, you could give more non musical stuff.

I’ve been behind on my asks so I’m trying to get caught up and this seems like the best one to start with, musicals have been rotting my brain since the eighth grade. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember every song I listed in the original post so I apologize if some of these are repeats!!

TW: Brief mention of suicide ideation for one of the songs/characters

• Idk how much you’d count this one as a musical song but Once Upon A Dream from Sleeping Beauty makes me think of Mitsukou/Soukou (especially in the context of the new timeline)

• I have to apply Dentist! from Little Shop Of Horrors to every sadist character so it’s going to Teru, maybe he can do that if he ever smartens up and quits exorcism (I would give it to Kou but Teru is like. wayyyy more upfront abt his sadism lol)

• Tango: Maureen from Rent except every character in TBHK besides Mitsuba and Mei is lowkey bisexual so there are so many ways it could go. Hanako and Aoi about Nene. Teru and Aoi about Akane. Mitsuba and Nene about Kou. The possibilities are endless

• Popular from Wicked with Aoi and Nene…because yk we always see Aoi giving Nene popular girl advice. I am aware her character goes deeper than that I’m just being silly

• Love Me For What I Am from In Trousers with Nene but just for the “I met a man in a can” line. She did, in fact, meet her boyfriend in a bathroom

• Helpless from Hamilton with AoiAoi and then Satisfied with Terukane. I think I’ve seen an animatic for this but there are a lot of Hamilton animatics for different fandoms so I could be mistaken

• Alyssa Greene from The Prom with Aoi

• And on that note, The Lady’s Improving with Yako or Sumire (Sumire bcuz you can add in Hakubo for the romantic context). Quite honestly I love The Prom sm, it’s very overhated imo bcuz the songs are all bangers

• Portrait Of A Girl from Bare: A Pop Opera with Aoi and Akane before their development

• More with Bare because I love queer musicals, Role Of A Lifetime with Mitsuba in the context of Mitsukou. They can’t be together forever and Mitsuba knows that so he’s confused on what Kou wants…see the vision

• Seventeen from Heathers with HanaNene but bonus points if it’s Picture Perfect Amanene when they tried to run away together

• There’s A Fine, Fine Line from Avenue Q with Nene…possibly after Nakahara rejected her

• I feel like the concept of She Used To Be Mine from Waitress could be applicable to so many female characters because context aside, it has major theme of going from girlhood to womanhood + overcoming a lot of trauma, so it’s hard for me to nail down just one. Perhaps yorishiro Sumire? Could also apply to Nene

• You Gotta Die Sometime from Falsettos with Mei (my sister and I quote the opening line to each other every time one of us is sick…but also oof this song hurts me)

• This one is a bit nonsensical but I like to imagine The Worst Pies In London with Teru and Akane since yk Teru is terrible at cooking. Or with Ghost Hotel Kou and Nene (not in a ship way tho)

• The Ballad Of Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone loosely makes me think of Katakuri bcuz of the whole deal with the kannagi losing their memories

• In the Same Boat from the Lightning Thief demo with any of the trios tbh, mainly the Broadcasting Crew because Sakuhiko fit the Percabeth dynamic so well and Tsukasa as Grover is just yes (in the context of this song specifically lol). For the others tho it would be Terukane as Percabeth and Aoi as Grover, then HanaKou as Percabeth and Nene as Grover…or HanaNene as Percabeth and Kou as Grover. Another one with lots of options

• Red And Black from Les Misérables with Teru and Akane bcuz of the whole Enjolras caring abt war and Marius being all head-in-the-clouds about Cosette…very Akane coded in general

• Meet the Plastics from Mean Girls with Teru as Regina, Akane as Gretchen, and Aoi as Karen

• On that same note, WORLD BURN WITH TERU. HEAR ME OUT.

• I want to bring up Spring Awakening just to bring up Spring Awakening tbh so Don’t Do Sadness/Blue Wind with Aoi and Akane (?) or Teru maybe. Tbh I’m struggling on who could do Ilse’s part but Aoi fits Moritz (my boyyyyy) very well with how she wants to “go somewhere far away” aka take her own life due to the pressure she’s under. Could also be with Mitsuba or Amane as Moritz but NOT Kou because we all know Kou isn’t actively suicidal right?? We’re all on the same page abt that?? Good

• I could also picture Those You’ve Known with Kou and his dead ghost friends at the end of the manga. Specifically Hanako as Moritz and Nene as Wendla but you could substitute either of them for Mitsuba if you want

• I feel like Wait For It from Hamilton could fit Tsuchigomori

• No Me Diga from In the Heights makes me think of Aoi and Nene and their rumors. Bonus points if Akane is the one Nene teases Aoi about with the “just wanted to see what you’d say” part

• Mister Cellophane from Chicago with Mitsuba

• Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from Phantom Of The Opera with Teru mourning his mom…we don’t really get to see him talk abt her in canon so it’s a cool concept

• More with Teru, I’m Not That Girl from Wicked. I’m thinking within the context of TeruAoi but feel free to apply it to Terukane

• When He Sees Me from Waitress with AoiAoi or Mitsukou…Aoi and Mitsuba singing ofc

• I’m Breaking Down with Aoi during the Confession Tree chapter when Akane started dating Lemon

Okay I’m capping myself off there, hope you liked this!! And thank you for the ask :)

[wsknbfanaccnt]

Gurl I love your account!! Knb fandom is low-key dead so it's refreshing to see ppl who still like the show 🔥🔥

I have a request which (I think) is very diffrent from what you usually do? Basically your own headcanons about Akashi. But not NSFW or stuff like that. Just random headcanons you often think about, maybe some of his quirks, his favorite something...etc...

Anyway girl make sure you don't die cuz then who will post this delicious Akashi content ??😔

AAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH YALL I GOT A COMPLIMETN ON MY BLOG ASDHFKASJDHFLKJ HOOLY SHIT

YESSS i'd love to do that omfg

and you literally just gave me motivation to live HELL YEAH IMMA KEEP POSTING AKASHI CONTENT

i do have some already on this post that ive made so feel free to read that, but ive written more down below

i hope you like it AND THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

feel free to request more<3

tw! suicide and self harm at the end

(i hope this doesnt count as nsfw but i have a few strong headcanons abt this for him)

Akashi Random Headcanons

he was taught at an early age to put his pinky up when drinking or picking something up and he always gets teased by his friends for it

he plays Shogi with Bokushi in his head when he's bored (he literally plays blind chess why tf wouldnt he be able to do this?)

also argues with Bokushi a lot

he is secretly a metalhead and an ELITIST because his opinions are absolute (duh)

he talks to Shiori's grave when he's in a rough patch

he switches personality randomly throughout the day sometimes just to mess with people

he has online friends he plays chess with (NEEERRRRDDDD)

his name online is (this is more or less canon) Red Emperor

his hands are a bit calloused (from basketball, violin and stuff) and he's a lil insecure about it

when he needs to rant he takes Yukimaru out for a ride and rants to his horsey (with expletives)

his violin is a fucking Stradivarius (a brand on the same level as a Ferrari sports car)

fluent in many languages including, but not limited to, Spanish, Chinese, French, Italian, Arabic, Latin, Russian, German

he likes driving at night, it's so serene and calm for him

he HATES HATES HATES waking up in the morning and will willingly sacrifice a lecture session with Masaomi just to get 5 more minutes of sleep

sometimes he still eats popsicles from the convenience store to reminisce his time in Teiko

he is NOT a touchy person, he's gonna stay away from as much touch as possible (but he doesn't mind hugs)

he still has his first basketball that his mother gave to him as a kid and it's in his closet

he's never been to a supermarket lol and he does want to go inside one (he can and probably will buy every little flavor of everything that he sees interested)

when he does something slightly wrong he has an Internal panic attack and starts hearing Masaomi's voice yelling at him

uhhh he loves Sevonne (me) and considers her his wife <3

after everything that happened, he still keeps in touch with Midorima often and hangs out with him a lot

TW!

has thought about comitting suicide at one point in his life

not sure what point but one point

also has very faint scars on his upper thigh

[schwanemannsland]

Do you have anything else to share abt ur urbanspook au? I love it so much! It’s probably my favorite au in this fandom tbh

Mona experienced SA as a child due to her parents so she has no idea how to react when she inevitably meets Bill's parents. She pretty much expects his dad to want to assault her and is surprised when he doesn't.

Since my AU takes place in a vague modern day setting, Mona spends most of her time at home on her pc either playing games off Steam or watching random videos. You DO NOT want to mess with her when she's in a COD match. Girl has punched holes in her drywall over this game.

During the early period of their relationship, Mona would openly suicide bait Bill as an attempt to get him away from his family. Bill saw through it very quickly, but would still feed into it since she was known to self harm. Now since she had Bill to herself, she chilled out completely.

Mona LOVES mosh pits. She goes crazy whenever there's one being formed at a concert.

Bill likes to be a risky with Mona at work like making out with her on his smoke break out of sight from security cameras or take her on drives in his police car during slow nights

Once Bill leaves Mia, she ends up getting together with Nathan Cole and is beyond surprised with how kind he treats her. She isn't used to being around a man that doesn't degrade and neglect her. Bill get's a bit jealous over this since he's a control freak that despises the idea of losing control over someone.

Nathan isn't a step dad, he's the dad that steps up. Bill and Mia's daughters quickly adapted to Nathan and see him more of a father figure than Bill.

Mona has a very butch fashion sense due to her both hating the idea of presenting feminine and her putting very little effort in her wardrobe. The few times she had to wear a dress she felt exposed and uncomfortable.

Despite them being toxic to one another, they both oddly trust one another with delicate information and secrets that they never exposed to anyone else. 

Mona won't admit it, but she does feel beyond guilty after attacking Bill during her splitting episodes. She wants to have a better handle on her personality disorder, but is pretty stubborn/afraid of opening up about his insecurities. 

Bill doesn't pry too much about Mona's childhood since he knows how triggering it can be for her; the most he asks about are triggers to avoid them in the future. Yet, Bill finds himself bragging about his own childhood and tells stories about all the fabulous vacations he went on and the achievements he made with his parents. It's pretty hard to hear at times for Mona.

Mona was so used to eating fast food before meeting Bill that when he would make homemade dishes or take her out to fancy restaurants, she doesn't have a proper pallet for food with a low sodium content.

[kroosluvr]

hi!! as a fellow royal trio-truther ive been ADORING and loving your posts so much <3 you mentioned that you've like mentally re-wired shusumi so i was curious if you had a list of head-canons for how they develop in the game/post-game!! Im super curious to hear (: also any head-canons for the akesumi dynamic would be great bc I hate how little the game developed them together !!!

OMGGGGGGGGG HAYYYYYYYYYY ok so. first. look at this (idr if i posted this here already but if i did look again heh..)

ok now ill actually talk under the cut

note that some of this is headcanon territory bc i just be frolicking at this point

some backstory i fell in love w sumi as soon as her art was revealed i was like omfg peak design PEAKKKKKK i love her so much so i was really excited abt her but i feel like there were so many loose ends w her confidant and namely her crush on protag sometimes doing her a disservice (it turned ppl off from her (understandable bc i also dislike when writers make a female character out to be dependent on a male character) but also made other ppl weird abt her in the same breath....... shivers. people who overly-romanticize/sexualize mentally ill characters (especially girls/women) freak me out sorry

anyway that put me off frm p5 fandom for a hot minute. BUT regardless. i think people often focus on like "shy cute sadgirl kouhai crush-on-protag" for her which on top of atlus's.......mediocre handling of her also does her character a disservice... shes so multilayered!! she houses such insane convoluted levels of distress and fear and anger and reluctance and most of all STUBBORNNESS. i think her headstrong personality is not really emphasized in fandom but i can totally see it (maybe its just me but).

ok moving on to my shsm delusions i think to turn sumire's canon crush on its head i want to make them doomed to never get together. i think 3rd semester is so tense and high-emotion that royal trio are so deeply intertwined w each other:

like they all are mildly-to-a-lot suicidal so they hold onto each other so tightly to make sure none of them spirals and does anything bad. i think in the end they just want the other two to be Okay, even if they themself doesn't. if the other two are ok, then it's all good.

ok back to shsm LMAO i think seeing their relationship as like an odd high-emotion situation makes sense. they love each other, obviously, and provide each other comfort, but the idea of a relationship slips thru their fingers like water. is that right...? is that how it is? like i said up there they just crumble under the weight of their own love. tldr theyre in no place to "date" each other........ but they have their "almost." they're inseparable, they love spending time with each other, but knowing in the back of their heads that it won't last, and they'll have to leave it be one day. "sometimes when i really love someone i leave them alone forever." peak shsm to me. "let's run away together - but what if it's not enough? what if all of this fear and sadness still stays? i take a man down to the river and he throws away his sadness but hes still left with his hands, he's still left with the river (paraphrased richard siken). peak shsm to me. i think they try to treat eachother so softly and gently that it fucks it all up, actually. peak shsm to me. it's not codependency in the sense that theyre not trying to save each other - they're just trying to salvage out some love from it all. all of these terrible things that happened: there's still love, right? there's still love. but the pain can't all be sifted out, and everything still hurts. but they still love. (they just don't date or even talk to each other much after graduating and i think they talk to akechi but to each other its suddenly COMPLICATED. i hate these guys)

ironically i think if you throw akechi in the mix it stabilizes out and i think shuakesumi could totally have a happy married ending. but shsm as a pair i dont see endgame for them. peak for me is that theyre in love and then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget each other (they don't)

(If this sounds ridiculous and stupid im sorry. i just like shoving too-many-emotions onto my favs sometimes (a lot of the time))

IN REGARDS TO AKESUMI i think my latest 2 comics describe how i feel abt them pretty well!!! link 1 and link 2. actually i think akesumi's friendship is a great way for me to explore how i see/portray/feel about sumire, because i see them as way more similar than the game pays attention to. they're both stuck in their ways: sumire in her cowardice, hiding from the incident and refusing to move on, and akechi entrenched in his own traumas and feeling like he doesn't deserve more than that. their self-hatred manifests in two opposite ways but its very similar at the core. they both like. have no fucking clue what they're doing in terms of handling their pasts so that's why i think them working together to get around their own respective traumas is so fascinating: akechi is terrible at it, pushing sumire too far, but at the same time that perspective is something that she needs. meanwhile, her sensitive and observant personality shows akechi that like, you can have This too: a soft, good love. to have someone care about you unconditionally, so gently. you deserve that, too. yeah i can explode my head off now

i did not proofread this.

[aliceosemansolos]

I JS REALIZED ION HAVE A INTRO POST SO IMMA MAKE ONE.

MY NAME IS FRIDAYY!! IDC ABT PRONOUNS TBH. PERO LIKE THEY/THEM IF U CARE. IM A MINOR SO IF UR 18+ DONT BE WEIRD. IM WRITING A PODCAST CALLED GHOST TOWN, COMING OUT AT SOME POINT!! ON YOUTUBE!!

FAV SHOWS: SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF, HEARTSTOPPER, OHSHC (OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB), SOUTH PARK, NANA, I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS, BROOKLYN NINE NINE, SHOUJO ANIMES, DOCTOR WHO, BOJACK HORSEMAN, YOUNG ROYALS

FAV MOVIES: HEATHERS, BUT IM A CHEERLEADER, IT (BOTH OF THEM), FEAR STREET (THE 2ND MOVIE TO BE EXACT PERO I LOVE THEM ALL), BRING IT ON ( ALL OF THEM OBVI), SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE UNIVERSE, JUNO, UP THE ACADEMY, TEACHERS, SPEAK, KARATE KID, GOOD WILL HUNTING, THE OUTSIDERS, I SAW THE TV GLOW, DEAD POETS SOCIETY

FAV BOOKS: SOLITAIRE, THE OUTSIDERS, HOW IT FEELS TO FLOAT, GIRL IN PIECES, SUICIDE NOTES, THE HEARTSTOPPER BOOKS, RADIO SILENCE, IT, THE CATCHER IN THE RYE, IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME, IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER, HATE LIST, YOUD BE HOME NOW, SPEAK, ACT COOL, A BREATH TOO LATE

RANDOM THINGS I LIKE: VINYLS, MUSIC, CDS, BAGGY CLOTHES, ALICE OSEMAN, DUMPLINGS, FASHION, ART, COLLAGES, MUSICALS, SWEET FOODS, BAKING, THE COLOR PURPLE ND RED, BLACK NAILS, POLISH MOVIES, MOVIE THEATRES, 80S AND 90S FILMS

FAV CHARATERS: TORI SPRING, ALED LAST, MICHAEL HOLDEN, KIM PINES, KNIVES CHAU, RICHIE (IT), BIZ (HOW IT FEELS TO FLOAT), HOLDEN CAULFIELD, TARA JONES, RAYNE SEPGUTA (IDK HOW TO SPELL HER LAST NAME), WENDY (SOUTH PARK), KENNY MCORNICK, EMILY (CLASS OF 09), SAL FISHER, JOHNNY (THE OUTSIDERS), LARRY JOHNSON, HACHI, NANA, SHINICHI, JACK MURPHY, FINNY SMITH(IF I HE HAD BEEN WITH ME-IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER), CHOOCH BAMBALAZI, DANIEL LARUSSO, EDDIE PALIKINIKN(IDK HOW TO SPELL HIS LAST NAME), TODD ANDERSON, NEIL PERRY, MAX CAULFIELD

FAV GAMES: CLASS OF 09(THE RE-UP IS MY FAV), UNPACKING, OUR LIFE GAMES, BAD END THEATRE, SALLY FACE, RANDOM ITCH.IO GAMES, RHYTHM DOCTOR, STARDEW VALLEY, LAST SEEN ONLINE, OMORI, LIFE IS STRANGE

FAV MUSIC: RADIOHEAD, MITSKI, TV GIRL, ALEX G, THE SMITHS, ANY MIDWEST EMO, MSI, KIMYA DAWSON, THE MOLDY PEACHES, THE CURE, THE BEATLES, SUBLIME, FOO FIGHTERS, MOST DEATH METAL BANDS, CHELSEA GRIN(THATS METAL PERO WHATEVA), KORN, NIRVANA, THE POLICE, BAUHAUS, SIOXIES AND THE BANSHES, ALL GARAGE PUNK

FANDOMS IM IN: CLASS OF 09, SALLYFACE, STARDEW VALLEY, OSEMANVERSE OBVI, OMORI, SCOTT PILGRIM, BLUE PERIOD, FRUIT BASKET, TOKYO REVENGERS, KIMI NO TODOKE, NANA, PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING WITH MICHAEL CERA INVOLVED, AND PROB MORE I JS FORGOT

FAV PODCASTS: WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE, HELLO FROM THE HALLOWOODS, AND UNIVERSE FRIDAY

GO FOLLOW MY INSTAGRAM: ALICEOSEMANSOLOS‼️‼️

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn’t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[angelfevr]

tagged by @indoorghost i looked up "carriecore" for my latest protag, carrie davis from a short story im planning, "im thinking of ending things!" (or im thinking of ending it all but that title mayyyy have been censored by pinterest orz)

open tag bc i know i tagged so many ppl last time :sob:

anyway itoet is abt a girl, carrie, who commits suicide . but the thing is... she didnt Fully die . moreso in limbo between the dead and the living. so she can still connect w the world and ppl acknowledge her as Alive, but at the same time a lot of ppl dont even know she exists. like shes invisible . so she can technically steal from stores and take illegal drugs and all that .

but its not without consequence. she's here in this state bc theres unfinished business to take care of

tee bee aych its based off a dream i had!! im surprised bc i feel as if i dont usually have dreams to base a story on so this was pretty cool

[cosmicheartz]

Gonna ramble abt some mental world stuff regarding the campers in my future au

Phoebes world sorta works like Cassie’s Collection where it’s her archetypes instead of her self in the mental world ( currently the archetypes I have are therapist and musician/rockstar and maybe one representing her pyromania but idk if I want to just have that be a mental figure/enemy instead bc I feel like it makes more sense for it to be some sort of enemy representing her pyromania rather than an archetype ) not sure on the exact theming i have in mind but i think itd be a split between like a music/recording studio and a therapy office ( yknow the trope where two characters share a room but they have wildly different aesthetics so theres one half with character a's aesthetic and one with character b's aesthetic? yea thats the vibe im going for )

tbh idk if I can top the mental world @salempie and splaoon made for Elka but I have considered some sort of dating game show since on her campster she mentions wanting to go on a game show circuit. It’d be like one of those dating game shows ala the Dating show where theres three contestants ( 2 being mental figure representations of Nils and JT and the other being one of the girls who enter her brain ( probably Franke ) and theres like a becky like mental figure thats a representation of her comphet and is the boss fight

JT's mental world is wild west/cowboy themed ( obviously ) and i like to think he has mental figures based on the campers/people he knows but theyre wild westified if that makes sense. some examples being: Benny/Bobby being bandits/outlaws, Kitty being a Saloon girl, Quentin or Phoebe being the Piano Player etc. im not 100% sure abt JTs role though bc i flip flop between sheriff or cowboy. basically its just a wild west parody. i dont think theres like a definite boss but Raz does get to beat up the bobby and benny bandits so thats smth ig

Bennys mental world is legit just a big ol broadway musical. i dont rlly have more to say abt it outside of that tbh.

I've talked abt Crystals mental world before but i wanna talk abt it again bc i can Its a gymnasium/dance studio hybrid thing and its very 80s workout themed. Similar to Millas dance party there's a compartmentalized area that harbors Crystals depression and former suicidal tendacies/ideation. its also where her mental Clem resides ( who doesn't look like actual Clem due to Crystal and Clem barely keeping in contact after the fallout so she kinda just had to wing it as she aged so its like what SHE would imagine an older Clem if that makes sense ) who would be the boss