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fishnapple · 6 months ago

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THE PERSON YOU WILL MARRY AND YOUR MARRIED LIFE

(can also apply to long-term committed partner)

In this reading, we will find out about the person you will marry or commit long-term to, their personality, physical traits (note at the end of the reading), and how those will affect the marriage or the commitment.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

1.AGATE

At first glance, this person seems so intense and even aggressive. The way they deal with the world is not light-hearted and easy, their energy is heavy and serious. But this is not their default mode of being. Some events in the past have altered their perception of themselves and people in general. Could be mockery, betrayal, or competition that dealt a heavy blow to their core.

These events have left them jaded, their trust shattered. They've built walls, convinced that solitude is their only safe haven. These walls will still exist when you're together and even after you're married. It will be a delicate point that you need to touch gently and carefully.

There will be a moment when they are ready to open up to you. Somewhere within their guarded heart, they still hold a flicker of hope. At that moment, they will test you (maybe they will do it subconsciously), they will observe your reaction to their vulnerability and silently expect you to make a promise never to betray them. If you fail to appreciate their effort to open up and react harshly or coldly (by their standards), then they would clam up and build their walls even thicker.

For all their bravery and tough act, you would never have guessed how soft and sensitive they are inside. The moment they've decided that they can trust you, they'll give you their all – mind, body, and soul. Like opening a flood gate, a torrent of devotion held back for so long. If you can notice their walls and wounds early on, make sure to address those before getting into serious commitment with them. Being committed too early can result in hidden issues and resentment later in the marriage. And they probably won't be too eager to rush into anything too serious anyway.

You will like their ambitions and the desire to come out on top. They have a brilliant mind and a decisive nature that can naturally make them a great leader and a reliable person in crisis, this make them pretty popular with people, even when some people find them scary. Of course, that can also make them domineering, wanting to control your life and the marriage. It's one of their ways to feel safe in a relationship, to feel that they have control. Feeling lost is their biggest fear.

They will probably confide in you many secrets, theirs or other's, they're not a gossipy person but if they feel they can trust you enough, they will feel comfortable sharing. Expect many intimate moments, plenty of unplanned trips. Being together in the dark, quietly, talking to each other in a low, soft voice. You will be proud of yourself for being the only person that get to see their softest side, it's a special treatment, really, considering how the rest of the world only gets to see their harder exterior.

Some physical traits: tan skin, dark features, hooded eyes, strong physique, toned, dexterous hands, sharp or raspy voice, looks serious and harsh when not smiling but looks warm and comforting when smiling, sensual, give off the air of sexually experienced (whether true or not), could look older than their age.

2. TIGER'S EYE

I think one of you will fall in love pretty much early on, maybe even from the moment one person laid their eyes on the other person. But it will be kept hidden for a while.

There's something unconventional about you guys being together. It's unexpected and not what you usually see around you. You or them or both of you might have a vision for the person you will marry and what marriage will look like. But this union will subvert that. It will steer you in the direction that you haven't thought of before, but it will be the right direction. You will even feel a fateful element about this. Something inescapable, the circumstances and your own thoughts. You will be on each other's mind, a constant, simmering presence that refuses to be ignored.

Oddly enough, I don't get much of their personality but more of the marriage itself. Maybe their personality will be shown the most clearly through the relationship with you. It will be like they have the opportunity to be their true self when they are with you. And you guys will mirror each other a lot.

If before, they struggled with self-esteem or staying confident. It could be about the material status or body image issue. Through the marriage, they will overcome those issues gradually and be more confident, maybe the marriage itself will bring a lot of new opportunities to improve their life or they will gain new strength through it. But they are not a passive person who will wait for something to come to improve their life. They will take an active stance, especially in their mindset. They are very self aware, they know their weakness and what they need to improve. They will catch themselves in time when the negative thoughts creep in and will adjust their thinking and take actions to address those thoughts. And they will do the same for you, sometimes it will be tough but you will see and feel clearly how much care and faith they have in you.

They are sexually private, faithful and passionate. This energy will be well hidden, being put on a tight leash that you won't be able to see at the beginning of the relationship. They may even appear pure and innocent, detached. They are very selective of whom they share themselves with. If they haven't met anyone compatible, they would rather stay single and celibate rather than jump in relationship after relationship recklessly.

They will feel like a soulmate to you, someone that you can share your soul with and grow together. This connection, it transcends what you thought love could be, steering you on a path you never dared to dream of, but deep down, know that it's exactly where you're meant to be.

Some physical traits: soft and gentle looking, melancholic, mysterious, quiet but still stands out, beautiful fingers, talk fast, twinkle in the eyes, small and delicate features, lanky or prominent bone structure, pointy bones, unique fashion style, uniformity, looks like a foreigner (even if they are not, they just look different from the people around them), strong legs.

3. PREHNITE

I don't know if you subscribe to the idea of past lives, but I feel like this person is someone whom you have shared a past with. This person might feel like a whisper from a past life, a familiar soul returning. Or at least, you will feel very familiar with them, they don't seem like a stranger to you, even if you've just met. Union with this person will touch upon many past issues of yours that can be triggering and require lots of patience from both sides. You might not even be aware of those issues until you've been in a relationship with them. Sometimes, relationships with certain people can have the effect of digging up hidden skeletons buried deep inside us, but it can also dig up treasures.

There's something quite hard to reach about this person. They can appear cold and inexpressive at first glance, especially in a more professional environment, the one who is independent and capable of calling the shot. They might hold a position of authority, or simply exude a distant, contemplative aura. It's not coldness, but a quiet intensity, a mind constantly whirring with purpose. Their furrowed brow and focused gaze could be mistaken for aloofness, they look like someone who always has something to worry about, very mentally focused energy.

They are a deep thinker who puts serious thoughts and considerations into everything around them. But you can feel that their way of being like this is not about wanting to dominate anyone, but they genuinely want better things for themselves and the people around them. They're thoughtful and they care about the future, the meaning and impact of their actions, they are the kind that can suddenly quit their high paying job if they feel that the job doesn't serve a meaningful purpose or doesn't align with their values. When you are actually talking with them instead of looking at them from a far or hearing about them through other people, you will find that many of the first impressions about them are quite not true. They are not that cold and detached like they seem to be. Their eagerness to connect, once you've earned their trust, is endearing. They're simply selective about who gets to see their depths.

In the previous sections, I did talk about how they don't want to dominate people, but they will want to take the lead in intimate matters. They're direct and straightforward. Physical intimacy will be at the focal point of your marriage. This is the area that needs lots of compromising and understanding from both parties. Passion can be accompanied by jealousy. Arguments and stress should be replaced by love and protection.

There is a tendency to release pent-up energies,be it mentally or emotionally, through physical actions. This person probably find it easier to show their love and appreciation through direct actions than words and overtly open romantic gestures. Not that they're incapable of romantic gestures, but theirs are more subdued and quiet.

Some physical traits: long, straight legs regardless of their height, broad shoulders or their shoulders look well structured and angular, looking like a professor or someone who does well academically, glasses, unique aura (they could wear something very casual but still stand out), light features, hypnotic stare, sleepy eyes, gives the feeling of being a good parent for their children (as in capable of disciplining and guiding), stern looking

4. FLOURITE

This person gives of the vibe of someone who is independent, who doesn't need anyone and is rebellious. But it's just a front, an image they project out to hide their deeper needs. I don't know if they will realise this about themselves, but they actually do better when they have someone by their side, a place they can call home, somewhere they can just lie down and relax.

They have a roundabout way of approaching things and people. They are whimsical and a little slow to act. There's a compulsion to mask their true intentions and motives. Maybe it's a playful defense mechanism, a hint of childlike excitement woven into their calculated moves. They might not be even aware of that themselves. There's a desire for fun and excitement, the thrill. They like playing little games, not for toying with your heart or wanting you to suffer to gain a sense of domination or superiority, but like a kid wanting to play with the other kid. They will probably make sure that romance never die out in your marriage. They may tease you from time to time, but it will be tasteful and charming that you can't help but go along with them. They could have some creative hobbies that they might invite you to do together. Expect plenty of handmade gifts and romantic prose, loving letters tucked here and there.

Don't mistake their playful spirit for irresponsibility. They are very hardworking and serious about building a strong, stable foundation. They want to provide and give to their loved ones and they understand what they need to do in order to achieve that. You won't have to worry about them being stingy or overspending, they have a nice balance between saving and spending. They wouldn't hesitate to splurge on something that brings comfort and happiness to you and your family, but their eyes are always set on the long game. This is a partner with vision, with dreams that stretch far into the future.

When they are feeling down or restless, they will suggest you guys go on a trip, to change the scenery. If physically it's not possible, then they will do it mentally. They will want to learn and expand their horizon, and they will take you with them there. It will be quite a sight and especially when you have a warm hand holding yours and a sweet smile melting your heart.

Some physical traits: stocky build, give the impression of sturdiness but not rigid, light eyes or sparkly eyes, eyes that talk, fashionable, alternative style, will act judgmental (playfully) when faced with stuff they deem ugly, colourful stuff, accommodating, fidgety when being in a crowd or public places, alien, could speak at least one foreign language, smirking.

5. RED JASPER

You will fall in love with each other fast. At first, it will be a light-hearted connection, being flirty with each other. But then, as time goes on, you both will be able to see that there's a path for you together, and the more you keep thinking about it, the more that path will look promising . Then it will be a natural decision, to be together, to commit to each other.

The union will receive lots of attention. People will admire and watch your relationship closely. There will be blessings, but there will also be intrusive stares that have the potential to bring about unwanted issues from outside. Both of you will have to learn how to be more discerning with people and how to protect the relationship from prying eyes.

This person seems like an extrovert who can befriend people easily, people from many different backgrounds. They would be the kind of person that has many connections with the right people, those of higher ups, those with authority and power, but they can also share a coffee with the musicians they just met on the street and become best friends with them. They are not selective with the people they associate with. There is little to no ulterior motive behind their friendliness. They just like getting to know people's stories, sharing their stories, their more intimate ones, on the other hand, will be kept hidden. If you're someone who is more private and possessive, you could find this friendly trait of theirs a little worrisome. If they are so open and gregarious, would the chances for them to stray are higher? Maybe. This is where you are asked to have faith in them.

They have their own moral compass and ideals that they follow. If fidelity is in their code, they will not stray from it. As long as they see the relationship fitting their ideal, they are contented and have no intention to look elsewhere. The reason they choose to be together with you will probably be because you and the relationship match their ideals and their vision.

This is one of their admirable traits. But it can also be translated into stubbornness. You won't be able to sway them from their beliefs. And they find it hard to let go of the past. Whether the past was beautiful or painful, they kept it all in them. Hurt and pain will linger for a long time.

They have some unconventional habits that you will need to get used to or make a compromise. Getting your habits to align will be an important task that can influence your happiness and enjoyment of marital life.

They are drawn to the finer things in life, a comfortable existence is their ultimate goal, this isn't about having power over other people or making important changes to human history. Who knows, maybe in their pursuit of that life, they may inadvertently spark positive changes in the world, and you will be proud of them.

Some physical traits: dark clothes, beautiful neck, like wearing soft materials, round face, soft and round features overall, refined taste, graceful movements, warm and comforting voice, low tone, not too talkative but their words are on point and funny, dark humour, tall, friendly energy, quick reactions (don't take them to see horror movies), organised mess, minimalism, good eyesight

6.OBSIDIAN

Life with this person will be a constant adventure, one that is filled with many hectic movements, rushed kisses and foreign foods.

This person has a fear-of-missing-out mindset. They do everything in a rush, trying to savour as many things as possible, be in many place, know as many things as possible. Nothing ever feels enough for them.

They have a childlike quality to them that makes you forget all the frustration you have for them. You're mad at them? Not for long, they will stick themselves to you until you give in, smooth talking, caressing you emotionally, physically, luring you in with food or themselves, making promises that you can't turn away from. You don't want to go with them somewhere? Same tactics. You have an argument with each other? Same tactics. This person basically uses the same tactics over and over again. The maddening thing is, you will tolerate them, it's hard to say no to this person. They will have a sway over you. If you are someone who likes to have control in relationship, this could make you uncomfortable. Are they sly and sneaky? Not really, they just like to have their way. And they will let you have your way too, they are not fussy or controlling, just a little needy.

They will probably decide early on about pursuing you. They are a quick and decisive thinker. Partly because they fear that the longer they prolong the decision-making process, the more likely you will walk away. So they have to act fast.

This person can engross themselves in the stream of information. It will be hard for them to put down their phone. They want to know every current trendy thing, the opinions of people. I think you will be the one to gently guide them back to themselves instead of being too absorbed with everything around them. They will learn to develop a more stable and strong foundation, to know when to rest, to stand still, and be firm.

Even then, there will never be a lack of laughter and exciting, unexpected moments. The love you have for each other is visible and undeniable, it will be an inspiration for other people and even for you, when the day gets dark and doubts begin to creep in, you will be reminded of your love and have faith again.

Together, you can learn a lot about each other, yourselves, and the world. They might not be able to be the strong, stable figure that everyone dreams of, but they will be an excellent companion, the one to always be ready to hold your hands and walk (or run, much faster) along side with you, wherever the road is taking you to.

Some physical traits: young looking, smooth skin, translucent, expressive eyes, smooth and soothing voice, like to grab/squeeze things unconsciously, fast walking, not very tall but looks active and compact, sporty, dimple, broad smiles, fashionable, fascinated with other culture's attires, wavy hair.

#pick a card #tarotblr #pick a pile #tarot #tarot community #witchblr #crystal reading #tarot reading #lithomancy #channeled message #divination #future spouse #astro community #astrology

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lo1k-diamonds · 9 months ago

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Closer 💜

GIF by namchyoon

SX Seoul Series | Namjoon's Entry

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader (You can also read it on AO3)

SUMMARY: Namjoon and you were friends for years — he was your confidant, protector, and haven. You didn’t want to risk it, no matter what, but some things can’t be kept in the dark.

WORD COUNT: 8.2k

GENRE: friends to lovers, smut (it's lovemaking tbh)

RATING: R (explicit)

WARNINGS: reader is shy and introverted, mentions of anxiety, being in the dark in an agitated crowd (reader is safe w/ NJ), fear of losing a friendship, porn w/ plot (lovemaking, or my version of it), unprotected sex (wrap it up), dry humping, riding, they're both shy and idiots in love but they make it 💜

A.N. Is this a slow burn? Am I searingly slowly taking you all on the journey that is kissing and feeling Kim Namjoon? Some could say there was no need to describe it in such detail. They would be wrong 💜

Masterlist | Masterpost | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs

Someone called your name and you looked up.

“Come on! Don’t fall behind!”

You gasped mutely and rushed in between the ever-growing crowd to join your friends and coworkers atop the stairs. The line wasn’t too big tonight but you still preferred to stay close to them — no way you wanted to be left alone in a bar street in Itaewon in the middle of the night. You pressed your hands nervously, looking around while your friends laughed about something you didn’t hear. No, you didn’t want that. There could be weird people and drunk people, and you were the designated driver anyway—

“Hey!”

You blinked at Juhyun through your eyeglasses with big wide brown eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

“Come along!” She sighed, extending her hand so you’d grab it, and you did with relief.

You gave your coat at the reception with a polite head bow, following closely after everyone. The noise hit your ribcage with the force of an alarm, making you grin with gritted teeth but you took a deep breath and hurried along. It wasn’t like you never went out, or had never been there before. SX Seoul had become the preferred club of people working in the industry, and so you found yourself with a vibrating ribcage and sweaty hands every once in a while. However, you did get anxious in crowded loud places like bars and clubs. An elbow sank into your side as you followed after Juhyun and despite the person’s apology and head bow, which you returned, you smiled with a hint of tiredness. The night had just begun.

You got set on the couches, saying hi to everyone you knew who was already there, and smoothly offered to help everyone get drinks. That was an easy way for you to get an alcohol-free drink early on and successfully avoid being offered drinks for a long while.

“Look who’s DJing tonight!”

You had sat near Juhyun after handing her a drink and smiled happily, engaging in light conversation.

“Didn’t you write his breakout music video?”

“Yeah, I did!”

You smiled politely, a warm fuzzy feeling settling in your stomach — you might have not liked the constant background house beat that had you all screaming to be heard, but you did feel proud of your work. Of every concept you had written, every storyboard you had designed, and every screening you helped with that led you to where you were now — in a creative atmosphere surrounded by like-minded people who just wanted to bring joy and artistry to the world.

As the night continued, you were more and more comfortable, surrounded by people you knew. You didn’t think it could get better, but as soon as Namjoon arrived, you grinned from ear to ear and chuckled at your silliness.

“Hi everyone!” You instantly scooted over and made space for him to sit beside you and join in the conversation, yet as you tried to keep up, he leaned in, “Driving?”

You turned to him and smiled sheepishly, something he returned with a sweetness of his own. You had been friends forever; he knew the answer to his own question.

“Your hair,” he added.

You blinked then felt for it over your shoulders and chest, trying to see in between psychedelic blinding lights if something had happened to it or something.

“No! Just— It’s loose!”

You blinked again, pressing your eyeglasses up the bridge of your nose, “Well, yeah.”

He smirked briefly, looking down before facing you again with a gentle puff, “It looks good!”

Your lashes batted once before someone asked for his attention, and just in time. You could feel the heat spreading from your chest to your cheeks and turned to sip at your drink seemingly absentmindedly.

He noticed? You didn’t know why it surprised you so much; Namjoon was an attentive friend. Caring too, he always noticed when something was going wrong or a project was difficult. He always offered to help you out, and you did the same. You had that kind of relationship — friendly and supportive. Of course, that didn’t mean he had to notice your hairstyle for tonight. You had just let go of your usual braids for something more casual — just loose over your shoulders. And now there you were, playing with the long hair locks over your chest like your heart wasn’t fluttering at the simplest interaction.

“Hey! Let’s dance!”

You nodded at Juhyun and got up with a smile that crumbled just a little when Namjoon got up too. He scratched the back of his neck, sheepishly smiling at you and Juhyun.

“You don’t mind if I join you, right?”

“Of course not!”

She had answered for you because yet again you were pressing your lips. Namjoon wasn’t half as bad a dancer as he thought he was and you had all danced together before. Had you blushed then as you did now? You wondered as you beelined to the center of the dancefloor; you couldn’t remember. In the end, it didn’t matter. You smiled as you turned to Namjoon in that circle of people just randomly facing each other in turns. It didn’t have to be anything much, you were just having fun. All of you. It was absolutely fine.

He grabbed your hand and wiggled it for you to pivot and move around and you just laughed and did as told because it was fun. And not a big deal if he didn’t do it to the others, they were busy shouting in each other’s ears anyway.

You felt light and didn’t think it could get better than this when all of a sudden everything became pitch black. The music shut down and suddenly all you could hear was your ears ringing annoyingly and people either shouting or wondering a bit louder than usual about what was going on. It took you a couple of seconds to realize that it couldn’t be normal for a club to just abruptly shut down like that, and it was enough for your anxiety to instantly spike and sting your chest. Yet a pair of arms circled you lightening fast, pressing you safely to a firm chest.

Your cheeks were squished against his pectorals and you could hear a heart racing equally to yours under your ear. A question never formed itself, you knew exactly who was hugging you. It was safe now. You hugged him back and closed your eyes, using his body like an anchor to keep your anxiety from releasing you into the rowdy sea.

Namjoon could hear people getting agitated all around you two, making him squeeze you harder against him. People got nervous in situations like those. They could start running for the exit, pushing and stepping over people without a care if the panic was big enough. And as the absence of music and light continued, mere seconds felt like minutes cracking under the pressure as people became agitated.

He knew crowded places made you anxious. That was how you justified the way he was pressing his lips to the top of your head. It made your already racing heart jump with a foreign feeling, which mixed with his musky cologne had you sweating and not out of nervousness.

A louder shout not so far from you startled you into pressing your fingertips into his lower back and he immediately hugged you tighter. His lips brushed the top of your head again but the agitation around you was too loud, making it impossible to discern what he had said. Yet, regardless, you were safe. You could feel people shifting around you, voices becoming louder, and the occasional glimpse from people's phones. A wave of appreciation and gratitude flooded you, flowing over your anxiety and you unglued your cheek from his shirt to tell him.

His lips pressed lightly atop your cheekbone and your breath caught. His nose had tapped against your eyeglasses and you instinctively squinted though you couldn’t see. None of it bothered you though, on the contrary. Your lips parted in surprise, his thumb dragging across your jawline as if to make sure of where you were in the dark.

You forgot about the world around you. You were suspended in the air, in a trance, waiting for what would happen next, and it happened unexpectedly. His forehead touched yours and you closed your eyes, letting him cradle you sweetly. Little did he know that you could feel no anxiousness now, you were a blank page waiting to be written on.

Or maybe he knew. He didn’t force your chin but he did mutter something while his lips brushed your jawline, and you turned your head. Curiosity, it was all it was. Because you hadn’t heard him, but as your skins brushed, your lips caught the subtle hint of something plush and wet for the tiniest of moments.

You became dizzy and gripped his shirt at the end of his back. Was that what you thought it was? Was that—?

All it took was a millimeter for him to give you the hint that you took without hesitation. His lips pressed to the corner of your mouth and you sighed, eyes scrunching with the tension inside your chest. You were no mind and all instinct when you parted your lips further to get more, just a bit more. All you were ready to do was react, so when it felt like he was about to break away, you closed in.

You were incredibly aware of everything that involved Namjoon. The way his long fingers supported your jawline with a feather-like touch, his short hair falling just above his eyes tickling you where it got to your skin around your eyeglasses, the softest touch of his plush lips as even his breath eased, the gentlest breeze caressing your face whenever you tentatively parted and rejoined like waves kissing the shore.

You were aware of everything, and yet when the lights and music came back on, you were helpless. Namjoon straightened up to look around, trying to figure out what was going on, while you were just looking up at him, gripping him still, trying to figure things out on your own. What was that? What—

“Are you okay?” Juhyun asked right behind you and you jumped in place, startled. You let go of Namjoon, and it was he who answered.

“Yeah, we stayed cool. Are you?”

“Yeah, they pushed around a bit though, geez,” she complained, running a hand through her hair. “What do you think happened?”

“Good question, I don’t know.”

You didn’t hear anything anymore, you were just staring up at him as he talked. Good question. You had no idea either. What happened? Did you really just kiss—

“Listen, if you’re bummed out, that’s okay,” Juhyun shouted above the music, pressing your arm gently. She looked concerned and you tried a smile.

You could guess you looked as befuddled as you felt, “Yeah, I kind of— But I’m your driver!” You shouted instead, remembering your responsibility with a firm shake of your head.

“It’s okay, we’ll catch a taxi!” She shouted with a nod. She knew you were usually anxious; something unnerving like that was surely too much for you. “I’m just worried about you going alone!”

“I’ll go with her,” Namjoon nodded, unwavering, and before you got to say something, Juhyun agreed.

“Take care, text me when you’re home,” she asked you, squeezing your hand once.

You were frowning, about to suggest staying a bit more so you could take her home too when a firmer hand replaced hers. Namjoon returned your gaze, said a quick goodbye with a wave to everyone else, and then pulled you behind him as he made your way out.

Your mind slowly got back on track with every step you took. His hand was firmly wrapped around yours, and despite his wide shoulders in front of you, sheltering you from the chaos, your anxiety guided your thoughts back to the surface with a forced gasp.

What were you doing? Maybe this would turn awkward. You and Namjoon had been good friends for years, you had always counted on him. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe he would be uncomfortable around you now. You didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want to lose his joyful grins, relaxing bicycle rides, and long quiet reading sessions back at his place.

You bowed as you took your coat at the reception and put it on before stepping out into the cold. He was no longer holding your hand, which was holding the coat’s collar to your neck instead. You swallowed and looked down, freezing atop the stairs while you ran by the options and he stepped down ahead of you. You don’t have to leave earlier because of me. I can get home safely by myself. I’m sorry if that was awkward, I—

“Where’s your car?”

You sucked in a breath and told him before turning to walk intently as quickly as possible. The cold was rough on your cheeks, despite the big round lenses of your eyeglasses. You gritted your teeth not to quiver as you stepped carefully over the slippery sidewalk.

When you got to your car, you got in quickly and turned it on to give it time to warm up a bit. Namjoon had followed you inside in silence and was so quiet that his presence could have been buried under your anxiety.

You brushed your flushed cheeks and tried pulling your long hair free, realizing it was trapped between your blouse and the coat. You were so used to having braids that you forgot you needed to tend to your hair properly whenever you put your coat on and now you were stiff and stuck and—

“Easy,” he rasped, reaching to help you and you froze. You glanced up at him and stayed still as he alleviated the tension of the fabric over your shoulders to gently pull your hair out before leaning to repeat the same action on the other side. By then your eyes had lowered to his hands. The way he was handling your dark threads of hair as if it was the most precious silk, worthy of care and attention. “There.”

Your eyes jumped up in time to see him leaning back, a perfectly blank expression making your chest pang in nervousness. You were overthinking again.

“Thanks!” You squeaked, clearing your voice immediately as you leaned forward to reach the GPS screen, “Now, to Joonie’s…”

The drive was easier than you thought it would be. He commented on the cold, and then on what happened at the bar. He had never seen something like that at a bar, only at festivals or concerts. He wondered if the whole street had a power outage or if it was just that room. You mused that if it had been more than just the room, you’d surely hear about it in the news.

And just like that the car became quiet. Seoul always had traffic, even at 2:52 AM, it was nothing new. So while you comfortably focused on taking him home safely, your thoughts wandered elsewhere.

His lips were the softest thing you had ever touched in your life. Just the delicateness with which you had kissed, you didn’t think you had it in you. Weren’t kisses supposed to be messy? Powerful and passionate? Then how had you touched the pillowy clouds above?

Just remembering it had your guts burning in excitement, and you pressed your lips. Were you making any sense? But you had really done that; hiddenly in the dark, yes, but really. You had acted on your instinct for the first time and gotten a glimpse of the sky.

You wondered why now. Your friendship was old and comfortable, and he had always been a gentleman, protective but never overbearing. You thought he saw you as a colleague initially and then a friend with similar tastes. You pressed your lips right as you stopped the car in front of his apartment building. One glance at him and you knew that was the same old Namjoon you were used to. Maybe you had dreamed it. Maybe it was supposed to stay a dream.

“Would you like to come up?”

Your eyes jumped and widened, the shock as evident in your expression as a flashing billboard sign.

“I finished the new Murakami,” he continued swiftly, “so you can take it if you want. Or any other book.”

Your lips instantly twitched into a smile, “You finally finished it, then.”

He smirked as you turned off the engine and reached to get your bag, “Finally. You know how I am with his books.”

You nodded and got out of the car, the negative temperature clashing with your blushing cheeks. Yet you only smiled, locked the car, and teased him while you both went inside. Even the ride up the elevator was lighter; you two were back to your eased friendship where you got to poke fun at his annoyance with the repetitiveness of Murakami’s plotlines while enjoying every other detailed introspection he had to offer.

So when you passed the threshold of his apartment, you were as always. You both got your shoes off, though you kept your coat because you weren’t going to stay long. He offered you a drink despite you insisting that it was a quick visit, and as he disappeared into the kitchen to see what he could offer, you beelined to his reading corner.

That space always brought a smile to your face and comfort to your heart. That corner of the living room had a bookshelf from floor to ceiling separated by squared compartments that combined books and small plant pots in a myriad of colors. His most cherished one, however, was the bonsai on the small table next to the gray reading chair and ottoman. He'd let you take up the chair whenever you would read or work at his place, with him preferring the couch so he could stretch his legs more comfortably. You preferred the reading chair because the setting was a mood changer for you and you could use the different shelves to place your open books, especially when designing or writing ideas. Each square was organized in a particular way: some by authors, others by category, or type of work.

“I don’t have much,” you could hear him returning to you. “But I can make tea.”

You shook your head while you crouched, taking a look at your favorite section, “It’s okay, I won’t stay long. Where’s the Murakami?”

“Right here,” his voice sounded from above your head, and you glanced up to see him towering over you, reaching for the book lying by the ledge on the appropriate shelf. He eyed you and you smirked, pushing your eyeglasses up your nose bridge before looking back down. The corners of his lips twitched as he gripped the book inside his hands; he knew you were just happily skimming through your favorite shelf, and that wasn’t the issue. You weren’t the issue, you were— He took a deep shaky breath, “Oh, right, I have another one.”

He placed the Murakami book on the small table and left your side in the direction of his bedroom, you noticed. You pressed your lips and got up, grabbing the book he was holding just now. Blood was rushing to your cheeks and you took a short breath to ease yourself. You were there just to grab that book. You were alone at Namjoon’s, and that had happened hundreds of times before. Not that you had ever kissed before, but you could be cool. It was in the dark anyway. Conceptually, if you were thinking of the outline of a music video, that meant it was a secret. You could keep a secret. You could pretend it never happened.

Overhearing his steps pulled you from the depths of your thoughts to check what he had in his hands.

“Here,” he grinned, showing it to you.

It was a book and you gasped before you grabbed it. The cover had the digital drawing of a little girl on her bed, not lying down, but facing the wall behind her that had become an ocean with sparkling rays floating above. The title read, ‘Windows to Worlds: The Art of Devin Elle Kurtz’. You thought the name rang a bell as you opened and skimmed through it.

“I thought of you,” he smiled, dimples sinking sweetly into his cheeks at your interested demeanor.

“Woah, her use of color and lighting looks absolutely astounding,” you breathed, alternating between gasping and stopping your breath altogether with each new page.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“But why did you get it?” You finally caught up, looking up at him. “Because I was struggling with lighting?”

Your tone was appreciative and almost savvy as if you knew you had guessed his intent correctly. Yet he shook his head once, “Because of the braids.”

You lowered your eyes to the cover again and indeed, the little girl had two braids, much like you usually sported. You smiled, “Do you think she has eyeglasses too?”

“Maybe,” he acceded, nodding with ease.

You looked back down at the cover — the girl had her palms against the glass as if she was staring into a new magical world. It brought warmth to your chest. Not just because it was beautiful or because it was going to help you, but because Namjoon saw some of it in you.

You pressed the books to your chest, facing him to thank him when your smile fell. His expression had lost some of its casualness and you were immediately flooded with apprehension.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

His tone was so gentle it brought tears to your eyes. It was Namjoon. All of it, all of your doubts and anxiety were about one of the most important people in your life. Who cared how you might have felt; you absolutely could not jeopardize your friendship.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed so sincerely your voice shook.

“Oh.”

“I… It was…”

Your gaze was on the floor around his feet on the white carpet as you tried to find words. You half expected him to move or make things less awkward with his spirited humor, but he waited.

So you said what came to mind, “An accident. Right? It was an accident,” you repeated, ignoring the heat making your eyeglasses fog ever so slightly. “It was dark and…”

You sucked in a breath and pushed your eyeglasses up your nose bridge to soothe yourself, and froze when he nodded slowly.

“I… can’t call it an accident.”

Your eyes widened impossibly, “But— But then— I mean,” you blinked, “that would mean…”

You were just stammering and he smiled, “Yes. I don’t just— I wouldn’t just—” He smirked, scratching the back of his head, “I’d be lying if I said—”

His voice got caught inside his throat. You were looking up at him with eyes so big he feared they’d pop or something. He thought he was ready to talk about it and get it out in the open but— Were you even breathing?

“You know what? Never mind,” he shrugged, with a smile that pressed his plush lips too thin.

Your eyes widened even more, “No—” You almost choked from your impulse and instinctively stepped back, and everything went dark.

You held your breath as if you had been caught in a trap. You could have been back at the club, but there was no crowd, no fear, and no pressure. There was light still shining from his bedroom, reassuringly outlining his silhouette. You were safe, just like then. And it formed the words out of your mouth.

“I can't call it an accident either,” you confessed, and instantly your shoulders relaxed. He didn’t move and you couldn’t see him, but you knew him. You knew of his presence and the way he would never judge or hurt you. “I kissed you back.”

The silence continued between you but you found comfort in it. It was as though you had time to process, to put yourself back in your shoes moments earlier when exactly like that, in the dark, you let something from deep within surface.

“I was… curious,” you voiced quietly.

“Curious?”

“What would you… feel like? How would you…” you were getting lost and closed your eyes. You could almost feel him again, his warmth, his scent, the firmness of his arms around you, helping you levitate safely into the clouds. Your eyes opened at the sound of a footstep and you instantly flushed, “I mean, I— I’m sorry, I—”

“No, don't say sorry.” His outline drew closer until he stopped right in front of you. “You were curious about that?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

Why was your heart racing so fast? You were so hot that you knew for a fact your eyeglasses were fogging, despite not being able to see it. You swallowed and fanned your face a little, self-conscious about your hands becoming sweaty and dirtying the books.

Yet as you tried to calm down, you realized silence was stretching. He was waiting, of course, gentlemanly as he was. And you were embarrassed but in the dark, you also wanted to be brave.

“I liked it.”

You left it there, your sincere answer to his question. Your heart was thrumming wildly but you were not half as nervous as you thought you’d be.

“I liked it too.”

Your breath caught as you looked up despite barely seeing a silhouette. What?

“Would you do it again?”

“Now?” Your voice pitched.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Your tone was inquisitive, but it was more out of shock that he said yes. You were heating up so much you didn’t think you were processing thoughts logically, and you weren’t. Your head was blank, “Yes.”

It felt like an eternity, but you knew that wasn’t true. You were just too eager to see what happened next, to feel him again and check if your head would be caught spinning as you floated away to the clouds again.

The books in your hands disappeared quickly, only the sound of them hitting the table told you their fate, and not that you cared. His breath was fanning your face and your head instantly fell back, tapping the wall as your lips parted and you waited for what you wanted most.

When it didn’t instantly come, you had no issues soothing his hesitation by guiding his hands to your jaw. You wanted him to know where you were; exactly there, between the wall and his safe embrace, waiting.

Finally, his breath was so close it fully stopped when your lips locked together in a feather-like touch, and you moved. You pressed yourself closer, brushing his lips so you’d match completely. Your mouth dove into a sweeter taste, fingers tracing up his neck tentatively to grasp that feeling. And he let you, falling in with you, leaning into you as far as you’d let him.

Your lips parted in an invitation that he took promptly, leaving a wet trace on your bottom lip before he committed. You sighed into his mouth, gripping his shirt to pull him closer. He could reach into you and all around you; you were falling. There was an expanse behind and all around you and it reminded you of free falling; it was probably what skydiving felt like. Only you weren’t nearing the ground but going further from it. That sky was about to catch you; a sweet, soft, endearing sky about to clasp you affectionately and carry you into a dream.

You only stopped because he pulled back, kissing the tip of your nose before pressing his lips to your cheek. It was when you noticed that you two fit together like puzzle pieces, with your fingers buried in the nape of his neck, his into your lower back, your breaths mixing as your legs intertwined.

His breath was heavy against your warm cheek, “This can stay here. In the dark. If you want.”

You were too far to recognize the concern in his voice, “Is that what you want?”

“No,” his reply was instant, a subtle shake of his head as his lips dragged over your heated skin. “No, I'm curious about way more than this.”

You opened your eyes, eager to see in him what he meant, but the darkness hid his expression. It protected you, yes, but now, it made you uneasy. There was a moment when it had soothed your fears, maybe even made you brave, but now it was enough.

“Would turning the light on bother you?”

You felt his smile before he pulled away, “Not at all.”

His hands were still supporting your waist as you felt the wall behind you until you flipped the switch. You shut your eyes instantly with a grimace and knew he had done the same.

“Sorry,” you whispered.

You couldn’t see it, but he smirked, “I told you you could.”

His eyes opened first, eager to bypass the sudden sensibility so he could look at you as soon as possible. Your eyes and nose were still scrunched, your eyeglasses had fallen lower on your nose than you liked normally, and the top of your cheeks was beautifully blushed. He didn’t resist cupping your cheek to brush his thumb over the red hue and your eyes opened, looking up at him over your eyeglasses. You were so close to each other but you couldn’t look or move away.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, eyes set on yours as if he were seeing stars.

“How can you see anything, we’re so close,” you whined with a huff.

He chuckled, “Yeah?”

You pouted; your eyeglasses were falling down your nose bridge again, and he grinned. He was so unbelievably happy right now, and as you pressed the eyeglasses further up, he wished it would never end.

“Is it…” you were quiet, “better like this?”

“Much better,” he assured confidently, looking into your eyes intently.

Every time you blinked, wherever you glanced, he kept his cool and tried holding his fear in check — what if you suddenly pushed him away, became uneasy, or regretted this?

Yet your eyes fixed on his as your hand returned gently to the side of his neck, “You said… you’re curious about more?”

He couldn’t breathe, “Yes.”

“What… does that mean?”

Your voice was a thread and he swore he became dizzy, “You. I—” His lips twitched as he found words, “I want to be with you.”

He settled on that simple fact and shushed his racing heart. It was too soon to confess how long he had been thinking about this, how far he had fallen, and how deeply sure he was that there was no one else he wanted. Nowhere else he wanted to go, no other person who could be home, no other soul he wanted to share his time with. Shit, this was not the time for a love confession.

“Not in the dark,” you mused, thinking back. “But here,” you searched his eyes with a light line between your eyebrows. “Do you want that? To be… a moment of—”

“No,” he interrupted firmly, making sure that every point you touched each other conveyed that. “I want more than a moment, than one night, than a place, than— No,” he breathed. “I want so much more.”

You weren’t sure there was any reaction you could have given because you were floating again. His arms were around you, his mouth speaking words you had long wished to hear, and you waited. It felt like the right thing to do; you just waited for him to become so much more.

“And you?” He asked after waiting to hear your thoughts. “How far would you take this?”

You almost choked with your instant answer, “All the way.”

His eyebrows jumped before his expression scrunched into a rapturous smile, and you filled your chest with air. You needed it, you needed a big deep breath before the dive. When his forehead touched yours, you stayed close, eyes half-hooding, waiting, and ready. You had been ready for a while, all there was left to do now was fly.

You were waiting for his kiss when he grabbed your head, both of you eager and gentle in your grip on the other. His lips were as soft as before but now he was pressing harder, searching for something in the depths of your kiss, and you met him halfway. There was the passion you had thought of before, making your skin pucker as your breathing dragged. It was curious how you were so focused on every little detail of his — his jawline moving under your fingertips, the soft skin at the column of his neck, his wide shoulders where your arms found support to press him closer to you — but had no actual thoughts. Every brush of his lips had you sinking further, every lick of his tongue had you immersed until his hands were pulling you to him and barely letting you touch the ground.

When your feet did touch the ground you lost your balance a little and inadvertently fell into him, which had him feeling behind him to make sure he could sit down. Your lips parted and he looked up at you, hands supportive but not pressuring you. He waited for you to decide if you’d follow him or not, and you didn’t hesitate. You raised a knee to his outer thigh and he instantly supported it, helping you to straddle him effortlessly before he leaned back into the reading chair.

You towered over him a little bit and as he hugged you close, you couldn’t help remembering how many times you had sat in that same chair just to read. Now he was there with you, under you, kissing your neck gently, and you kissed his head with the excitement bubbling under your skin. This was really happening, you could barely contain yourself.

He pressed you to sit closer to him and you guided him to look up just so you could dive into his kiss again. His skin was so soft, his touch so gentle as he let you steer your mouths until your head started spinning. You went deeper with every kiss, and with every sparkle, you became daring. Your fingers laced around his hair, your breaths one and the same as your hips moved on their own accord to fuse you two in any way possible. Your instinct was taking over, regardless of how you ground against him or leaned into him as if it would merge you two together.

You were hot and breathless when you felt a hint of his fingertips brushing the skin at your lower back, and instinctively you pulled back. He looked up at you, instantly wary of mistakenly crossing a line, but in a rustle of clothes, your blouse went up and away, thrown on the floor.

You faced him then, the goosebumps forming on your skin wherever his fingertips brushed your back as you seemed to exude heat. Not even for a moment did you wonder if you were going too far, despite being in a bra only in front of him. Rather you eyed his shirt and pouted, and he got it; in a second it was gone too.

Your lips twitched as you stroked down his neck, over his clavicles, and to his wide shoulders. You knew he’d be perfect, you knew you’d go well beyond liking every inch of him, but reality was far sweeter than your imagination. Before you could lean in and kiss every inch, he beat you to it. His pillowy lips grazed over the expanse of your neck before lowering down your chest and you sank your nails on his shoulders. It was the lightness of his touch, the warmth of his breath contrasting with his tongue as he explored everything until he dared lower. He moved slowly, maybe hesitated, and your hand darting to the back of his head to support him eased him.

He kissed and nuzzled every inch of your chest then settled over your sternum, breathing you in between your breasts just above the center gore. You knew why he stopped, but you were riding the shivers and throbs his every breath drew out of you, and you didn’t want it to stop. You reached behind you and unclasped the bra, letting the straps slide off your arms while you held his gaze. Yes, you wanted to do this. Yes, you wanted him to touch you, to know how he—

His hands over your waist raised to cup your breasts and rub your nipples and you shivered, goosebumps covering you from head to toe. The more he brushed over the hardened tips, the less control you had over a deep whine wanting to escape your lips.

You were biting your lip in this sweet struggle when he glanced up at you before leaning in to take one inside his mouth, and you whined. Your hips bucked over him, drawing closer while your cries grew and expanded with every lick of his tongue. You were grinding hard on him now, unaware of how unruly you were being. Your cries just needed to be heard, your hunger satiated as you searched for friction and wondered why it wasn’t as intense as it should be.

Your chest was wet by the time he parted his mouth from the delicate skin, but you didn’t have time to think about it. His hands gripped your hips to press you closer, and you jumped out of his arms in a mix of outrage and eagerness.

So that was why you couldn’t feel him properly, you concluded, as you unbuttoned your jeans. Of course, how stupid. At least it was easily fixed.

You only stopped when your clothes hit the floor. His eyes locked with yours and you hesitated. You were totally naked in your eagerness, maybe you were going too fast. But his hands guiding yours to his shoulders before he leaned in to kiss over your tummy made you realize you were being silly. His eyes were glistening, looking up at you before closing to enjoy the taste of your skin, his cheeks were red, and despite his pants, the tent was very visible.

You wanted to be close so you raised your knee again, and once more he guided you to straddle him. He kissed quickly up your chest before eying your mouth, and you obliged. Kissing him like this was more vulnerable, open, and raw, but you wanted to. His fingertips stroked your sides softly downwards and you sighed into his mouth, gripping him closer. You wanted so much more.

His hands settled atop your hips and it made you whine and wiggle so they would move. It didn’t occur to you to separate your mouths and tell him to touch you; in fact, no thoughts were occurring to you. He seemed to hesitate on where to go while palming your hips, and in the end, it was your hand that guided him to where you wanted him. You froze amidst your kiss, mouth agape as your eyes opened when his fingers skimmed your sex. A shiver ran down your spine, your breath halting as you waited for him. His eyes were set on you, carefully taking in your expression as he dared to brush lower, exploring down your mound, around your hooded clit, and gently over your folds before retracing his steps.

A strangled quiet moan had you closing your eyes to get lost. His fingers were drawing circles over your clit, ever so gently, prodding how to please you without hurting you, and you sank your nails into the back of his neck. You could worship that man now — it was all you knew as you looked at him between half-hooded eyes. Every circle brought a spark, a throb, a buck of your hips until the tension inside you made you jump away from his touch. You kissed him hard then, grabbing his head desperately — you wanted him, not just his hand.

You reached between your bodies to cup his bulge and he choked in your kiss. You pressed harder, too curious to let him breathe or get away, and searched for a way to open his pants, but it was difficult without looking. Fortunately, he understood perfectly what you wanted and got to it.

He raised you off his lap for the single moment it took him to squirm and slide his clothes down his legs before settling you over him again. His skin was burning hot against your inner thighs and as you kissed him, you imagined it was because he wanted you the same way.

You reached again for him and this time there were no barriers. You felt his hard length gently, caressing its soft skin carefully before stroking him against your palm.

He grunted into your cheek; your lips had parted so you both could focus on those new sensations. Something wet was making it easier to stroke him and press the head gently, with every movement earning you something, whether a groan, a sigh, a twitch of his fingers over your hips, or more precum.

You loved seeing and hearing every reaction, but you didn’t want to wait. You were tense and overheating, and that hard cock in your hand belonged somewhere else.

You moved on your knees to straddle him closer, positioning yourself with nothing but the intention to feel him, but you paused. Before the sight of the pink swollen tip at your entrance could steal your logic, you looked at him with an implied question. He nodded with glistening eyes, hands gripping a bit more of your ass to convey just how much he wanted this. And so you leaned to touch your foreheads before you guided him inside you.

You were unbelievably wet but still, it took a moment for him to become coated enough to slide in without any attrition. It felt like a trial and error; every time you tried sitting lower, there was resistance, and so you raised yourself and tried again. And again and again, with his fingers sinking into your skin as he hid his scrunched-up expression. Your eyebrows were knitted too, especially when he hit a particular spot, and soon he bottomed out.

You wiggled a little to make room, your tension gripping him inside you so hard that both of you groaned. You bucked your hips over him and sighed before reaching back, taking support on his legs. The hunger in his glistening eyes as he observed you taking your pleasure from him was like straight out of a dream, except he was really there, stretching you to the edge, bubbling a tension up your spine so good you knew you wouldn’t last a minute.

So you leaned forward again, palming the expanse of his chest as you let the fluttering subside for a bit. A smile bloomed on your lips as he reached to kiss your skin, supporting you closely while he grazed up your neck. Yet as it had blossomed, your smile faded when your eyebrows knitted further and your pleasure sunk in your gut. He had taken a firmer grip of you and used his leverage to thrust his hips up and into you, successfully crumbling whatever excuse of a restraint you had.

You moaned unreservedly and as he pulled away to face you without relenting, you met him with glistening eyes. It wasn’t a betrayal but because of him, you couldn’t hold back. He understood; he told you with a nod as he tried keeping the rhythm steady for you. So you hugged him to you and let the pleasure spike once, twice, until a moan burst out of you with the knot in your lower gut releasing the tension.

However long it lasted, it was long. It left you powerless and radiating heat like a furnace, only he was even hotter than you. He was sweaty under your arms and legs as you embraced him, and it mixed with your wetness and cum, but you didn’t care.

He waited for you to pull away and kiss his humid forehead before he asked, “Can I take you to bed?”

“Yes,” you sighed, still up high in your haze.

He could tell how languid you were so he picked you up carefully, hugging your legs around his waist and supporting your lower back. His heart was racing as he carried you, not because he was afraid of dropping you — no way in hell that would ever happen — but because this was really happening. He was really carrying your naked body across his apartment, your sweaty bodies pressed together after you reached your pleasure in his arms only for him to take you to bed and continue to show you how much he cared for you. He sighted the bed when your limbs squeezed him more firmly and he smiled from ear to ear. It was like carrying a koala bear who didn’t want to let go of him, and he loved that.

He sat on the bed with you on his lap before carefully supporting your back so he could lay you down gently while hovering over you and you finally blinked.

Your senses were coming back; Namjoon was over you, caging you between his biceps while your legs laced around him. He was inside you, and even if you had forgotten, he reminded you when he moved tentatively. Your eyes were set on his, and that was how you saw the concern crossing them, and you blinked again. You and him were connected like you had only ever dreamed, and it was good. You reached to cup his cheeks and guide his mouth to yours; you wanted him to know that. That you knew what you were doing, with whom, and how, and your heart was completely in it.

If he wasn’t kissing your lips, then he was pecking the tip of your nose, grazing your cheeks, or brushing down the column of your neck as his hips gained speed. You raised yours to feel him as deep as possible, and as you held onto him, you let the emotions flood you. The safety of his arms, the completeness as he filled up all the gaps, the nurture of every tender kiss, the shared warmth, tension, and torture of your bodies rocking together. You were meshed inextricably in an ascent that you had never dared to imagine, and you grabbed him even harder, in case the intensity had you floating away.

Your voice had a life of its own; every time he sank further into you, your soul expanded. Every time he buried himself inside you, your moan released into his ear, and over and over again as he hid in your neck, revering you in all the ways he could.

“You feel so good,” he rasped against your throat, and against all odds you heard it in between moans. Maybe because he was slowing down. He pulled away to face you so closely you saw him blurred despite your eyeglasses, “I don't want it to end.”

Your eyes widened and watered but no words came out in time; he pressed your lips sweetly and you buried your fingers in his hair, feeling your heart swelling with every beat. He restarted his hips, guided by your legs pressing him into you, and you thought that nothing else mattered than him knowing. You also didn’t want it to end, you wanted to stay with him forever, linked, safe, accepted, hidden from anything that wasn’t blissful peace, and happiness.

His hips snapping into yours brought groans, moans, and whines out of the both of you, with wet sloppy sounds echoing in the bedroom along with the slaps of skins colliding. It became fast, forcing you to wrap your limbs around him firmly to never miss any sensation he could give you until you tensed unbelievably.

You surrendered to your climax immediately, letting it wash over you as you throbbed and reveled in scream-inducing spasms. He grunted and swore into your neck, but to your surprise, he didn’t come with you. On the contrary, suddenly you could feel his intent to pull out so you crossed your legs behind him and searched for his ear so you could tell him, “Inside me. Stay inside me.”

He groaned and you rocked with him, keen on extending both your pleasure as much as possible when he twitched inside you. You closed your eyes and his lips immediately caught yours. He kissed you with every peak, groaning into your mouth at every turn, making you shudder.

He stilled and you kept petting his damp hair at the back of his head, slowly waiting for both your hearts to calm down. You couldn’t believe what just happened yet at the same time it was as natural as breathing.

Finally, he moved from the crook of your neck and faced you. A single drop of sweat dripped along his nose to the tip and you caught it with your fingertip. He nuzzled you then, recovering his breath with a tender smile, and you smiled back.

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phenphoenix · 9 months ago

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ALRIGHT

Took me like a whole week to get this all put together but it's FINALLY DONE! A much better and Prettier Masterpost for the Hazbin AU that is now named-

//THE HART HOTEL//

The Hart Hotel is a more in-depth swap au following Alastor the (previous overlord) Radio demon and his venture into building a Hotel of rehabilitation. Alongside him is his best friend Anthony, famous pornstar Vaggie, and the princess of Hell herself, Charlotte Morningstar. Follow him and many others as the very foundations of Heaven and Hell are challenged with the singular question, "Can a sinner be redeemed?"

Credit to @storm-ismyusername for being the one to suggest "The Hart Hotel" as the name for this AU!

Finalized swaps so far (any missing links will be added when a character sheet is completed)

Alastor - Charlie

Angel dust - Vaggie

Husk - Niffty

Sir Pentious - Cherri Bomb

The Vees

Adam - Sera

Lute - Emily

Lillith - Lucifer

Zestial - Carmilla

Katie Killjoy - Tom Trench

Rosie - mimzy (fashion sense)

Mimzy - Seviathan Von Eldritch (In regards to a long haven friend bringing trouble to the hotel)

Also, here is a very cool and hip spread sheet made by @welcometothedarkseid going over various episodes and extra bits! Lots of stuff is still in development, and who knows? Some things might change later on, but anyways, let the brainworms be upon ye

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12rlMmqcnU0cuD0BFej6kbcpXNHWTbJrL0c9_JPo71Qs/edit?usp=sharing

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel swap au #hazbin hotel au #my art #art #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin art #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel niffty #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel cherri bomb #hazbin hotel sir pentious #the hart hotel

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oddinary4bts · 5 months ago

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Chasing Cars | ch 13.5 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter sort of contains mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: curses, anxiety attacks, mentions of jungkook trying to unalive himself during the summer, mentions of therapy, explicit content: implied sex

☆word count: 4k

☆a/n: my baby jungkook realizing he was dumb not to tell OC about gabrielle :((( hope you guys enjoy this one!!

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Jungkook has been sitting in his car for thirty minutes, looking at the apartment where his love for you grew and died.

Though he’s been making progress with his therapist, seeing it feels like maybe he’s drowning, and he hasn’t been able to get out of the car despite the fact that he needs to go to the bathroom. He pulls at his piercings, thinking about you. Are you at home, or are you out and about? He thinks you’re probably working, as Taehyung mentioned in passing that you finish work late on Fridays, yet Jungkook isn’t able to move.

Especially not as every treacherous emotion he has for you comes back to haunt him, squeezing his heart in his chest.

He’s been doing better. He’s been trying to cut himself some slack, and to build a healthy distance between him and his family. Though it’s hard, Lisa has helped, and Jungkook will forever be thankful for her friendship.

For her being there on that July night when he almost ended things.

Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair. He knows he has to go in - he’d rather not stay in his car and let the engine run while being parked for any longer. Not that he can’t afford the gas - he just thinks it’s a waste and bad for the environment, so he forces himself to turn off the engine.

It takes him a few more minutes to gather the courage to go in, and he waits until he’s literally starting to sweat his ass off before finally opening the door and stepping out of the car. A warm breeze welcomes him, ruffling his hair, and he shuts the door behind him, locking the car over his shoulder as he walks towards the apartment.

He stops at the bottom of the stairs, taking a deep breath to calm down the anxiety that’s threatening to overtake him. He reminds himself that it’s just you - no matter the distance between the two of you, you’re the only person that he’s ever felt understood him like you did.

Not even Lisa gets him like you do.

Yet he doesn’t want the ache and the pain again, not when he’s barely made it out this summer. So climbing the stairs takes everything in him, as does opening the door. But then it’s like the apartment is a quiet haven, and he steps in, the cool air a stark relief from the summer heat outside. He shuts the door, cutting off the scream of a cicada in the distance, and then he’s back in the space where you fell in love, remembering every little moment he spent with you without knowing he was about to lose you.

He feels at peace. He doesn’t know why, or how, but he feels at peace for probably the first time this summer.

“Hello!”

The peace threatens to crumble, your voice echoing in Jungkook’s mind as a short silence follows. He holds on to the peace, refuses to let it go, and then you speak again.

“Do you need any help?”

He does. He needs you, again, always, yet he knows it’s over. Knows he has to prepare himself for your presence in his line of vision - you appear a few seconds later, stopping in the doorway to the kitchen.

You’re beautiful. Your hair is longer, your skin sun-kissed, and your cheeks have a slight pink dust to them that reminds him of how much he used to love teasing you, just so that he can see that blush. Your eyes widen, yet they aren’t as pained as they’d been the last time he’d seen you.

Like maybe the time apart has healed you, too.

Jungkook takes in the sight of you, lets his heart try to rise to panic in his chest. But he doesn’t listen to the panic, only breathes in and out until the wave has passed.

“Y/n,” he says, murmurs, and he hates that he wanted to call you peach, like your real name feels wrong in his mouth somehow.

“Jungkook,” you reply.

Your voice… His memory did not do it justice at all, and the pain comes crashing back, a tsunami that almost makes Jungkook stumble back. But he holds on strong, a rock against the wave.

He nods once, taking off his shoes if only so that you can’t see the pain in his eyes anymore. You don’t move, and he feels your gaze on him the whole time, so much so that, when he straightens, he can’t help but ask, “How are you?”

Your gaze widens a little more, if that’s possible. “I’m okay.” You nod once. “How are you?”

Good. Bad. Horrible. I’ve missed you. I’m so sorry.

All answers he can’t give you, so he settles on, “I’m chill.”

He needs to go. Needs to not be looking at you anymore lest he does something stupid, like run up to you and hold on to you. He’d never let you go, and the sadness that slowly invades your gaze breaks him too much, like suddenly the ending came back to your mind.

Came back to his too, and the guilt chokes his lungs, so much so that he starts walking to his room.

But then he stops, catching sight of something familiar on the kitchen table, and the pain recedes, replaced by the peace that welcomed him home.

You’re eating Buldak noodles. You, who couldn’t stand heat last semester, are eating the noodles he used to make for you. It warms his chest, reminds him that not everything ended then, and he smiles softly.

“Want something to eat?” you ask.

It hurts. Far more than it should - he doesn’t deserve your kindness. And even though he wants to, even though he wishes he could pick up the pieces of you and him, he forces himself to say, “Thanks, but I gotta unpack.”

And then he walks the rest of the way to his room, his heart rate skyrocketing in his chest - he thinks he might go into cardiac arrest. He turns the knob, pushes the door open, yet he can’t move. He’s frozen there, feeling your eyes on him, wishing he could turn around and tell you that he spent every day this summer wishing he could rewind time and save you both the heartbreak. But he’s a coward, and he can’t say it, so he finishes walking into his room and closes the door behind himself.

He leans against it as panic wins once again, and he slowly slides to the ground, trying to focus on his breathing. On the grounding techniques his therapist taught him, and a few minutes later, he’s able to dampen his panic, his anxiety, until he’s able to breathe normally again.

If that’s how this semester is going to be, he has no clue how he’ll survive.

*****

Jungkook is nervous. He doesn’t know why he suggested to hang out with Lisa while everyone is going to a party at some frat he does not care about.

Actually, he does know why. His therapist suggested that he should try talking to other people, and he hasn’t been able to approach anyone, his feelings for you still as strong as ever, so Lisa it is.

She’s sweet. She’s been there for him through hell this summer, and some part of him feels like he owes her something. So when she asked if that was a date, Jungkook said they could try this one time and see where it goes. Lisa seemed unsure - she’s started talking to Mingyu more, and though they haven’t hung out just the two of them yet, Jungkook thinks it might be coming soon.

So maybe that, more than anything, is the reason why he asked Lisa, and not someone else. Because he knows that, despite the fact that she used to have feelings for him, it’s been morphing into friendship more than anything now, so he doesn’t have to worry about it.

Still, he worries. Still, he’s nervous. Because it’s not you, and though Lisa is a good friend, he doesn’t feel like he can fully be himself when it comes to her. Not like he could be with you, and though his therapist said he shouldn’t compare, he can’t help himself.

No one is ever going to compare to you.

Jungkook breathes in and out, wipes his hands on his pants, and then Lisa is arriving, and he remembers that she’s just a friend. That he has nothing to worry about when it comes to her.

When she asks him if she can kiss him, Jungkook doesn’t find it in him to say no. She kisses him all wrong, yet it’s been months. It’s been months and he should be moving on - you clearly have been. Your absence in the apartment, in his life, is proof of it. So he kisses Lisa back, tries to tell himself that it makes his heart race in his chest like kissing you does.

He hasn’t had sex since you, and it shows. He’s messy, unpracticed, and halfway through he realizes that he wants you. He wants to be with you, wants to hold you. Lisa notices his unease, notices he can’t stay hard, and she cups his cheeks and says, “We can stop, JK.”

He could cry. He could cry as he pulls out, and says, “I’m sorry.”

She smiles gently. “It’s okay, Jungkook. Don’t apologize, I get it.”

She gets up, throws his t-shirt on and Jungkook hates the way that it looks on her - it looked a lot better on you. While she goes to the bathroom, he tries to keep his panic at bay, to remind himself that he did nothing wrong tonight.

That no matter how much he loves you, he has to at least try and move on.

But then the impossible happens. The front door opens, and before you even speak, Jungkook knows it’s you. He hates it - hates that you had to come here tonight, to witness his weakness, and he quickly puts a pair of grey sweatpants on before walking out of his room.

You’re out of breath, yet you’re as beautiful as ever. Even more so, if only because you’re here, in the apartment where you belong, so close to him he could touch you with just a few steps forward.

“Y/n?” Jungkook lets out.

You were bent over, and you straighten, trying to catch your breath. Your eyes are shining with emotion, and Jungkook breaks. He breaks again, always - he doesn’t deserve you looking at him like this right now.

“Jungkook,” you say in between two heaving breaths.

Frowning, Jungkook scans your features. He tries to understand why you’re here tonight, why you’re looking at him like maybe he hung the stars in your night sky. You’re smiling, and he looks at that too, lets it remind him of why he fell in love with you in the first place.

“Shit,” you let out. “Jungkook.”

“Yes?”

You start laughing, and Jungkook is far too confused. It’s like he stepped in an absurd movie, and he’s not in on the joke. Especially not as he knows Lisa is bound to step out of the bathroom eventually.

“She told me,” you say.

He cocks an eyebrow. “What?”

“Gabrielle told me everything.”

You’re blinking back tears, and Jungkook keeps on shattering. Because now that the truth is out you’re back, and he realizes maybe he should have listened to Gabrielle. Maybe he should have told you, if only for you not to be here tonight.

“Kook?”

It’s the heartbreak in the nickname. Jungkook’s heart stops beating in his chest, and he feels like someone’s banging on his skull, telling him how stupid he is.

“Y/n, I…” he trails off. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

He sees the moment you realize. You look down, see Lisa’s shoes, and you freeze. You fully freeze, and it looks like you’re not even breathing anymore. Lisa chooses this moment to step out of the bathroom, and it takes you a few seconds before glancing at her.

“Oh.”

There is so much pain in that word alone that Jungkook wants to die. He reckons, he should have died that night just so that he could avoid this heartbreak for you. And he hates himself so, so much for inviting Lisa over tonight. For not waiting just a little longer.

What would have happened if Lisa wasn’t here tonight?

“Hey, Y/n,” Lisa says awkwardly, her eyes darting to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you were here.”

For a moment, Jungkook wants to scream at her. To tell her that she should have just stayed in the bathroom, should have just climbed out the window. But he’s mute, unable to form a single syllable.

“I live here,” you reply.

Lisa senses the pain in your voice. She clearly does, because she looks uncomfortable as all hell, like she wants to disappear through the floor.

“I’m sorry, I…” she trails off. “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”

There’s an awkward silence - Jungkook is convinced he can hear your heart breaking, though that might just be his. Then you say, “No worries.”

You take a deep breath, and Jungkook looks at your profile. Tries to commit you to memory, because he knows you’re going to leave again. He still can’t speak - he wants to beg you to stay, but there’s a lump in his throat and water in his lungs, and all he can do is watch you.

You pat your pockets, tears pooling in your gaze. “I think I forgot my keys at the party.”

When you meet Jungkook’s gaze, he sees a mirror in your eyes. Sees himself breaking, sees you breaking, and he wants it all to stop. He wants to forget the pain, wants to be able to tell you he loves you and that he’s sorry. But he feels like words wouldn’t be enough, not right now, and he remains silent.

Not that he could speak anyway.

“How did you…” Lisa trails off, but she doesn’t finish.

You turn around then, walking back outside and shutting the door carefully behind you. Jungkook just stays there, unable to move, not when he’s breaking all over again. He wants to run after you, but all he can do is take a shuddering breath in, right as a tear rolls down his cheek.

“Shit.”

Lisa crosses the space between the two of them. “Go sit on your bed.”

Jungkook tries to breathe, but his throat constricts, and black dots flash in his vision.

“Fuck.”

“Jungkook, deep breaths,” Lisa says, and she tugs on his hand to pull him to his bed.

“I can’t…” he trails, trying to breathe, but it’s like he’s breathing pure nitrogen. “I can’t breathe.”

He sits on his bed, and Lisa stands next to him. “What colour is the light?”

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t fucking know - did he truly lose you again? He’s dumb, stupid, foolish. An asshole and everything in between.

He’s a fucking coward.

“Jungkook, what colour is the light?” Lisa says again.

“I don’t know…”

“You do,” she insists, and the firm inflection of her tone makes Jungkook look up at her. “You do, Jungkook, just tell me.”

He glances at the ceiling. “Red.”

Lisa nods encouragingly. “Now, tell me one thing you can touch.”

He frowns, though his hands drop to the cover of his bed. “My bed.”

“Yes.” She glances around. “Something you can smell?”

The frown deepens. “I can’t really smell anything, my nose is blocked.”

She offers him a small smile, and Jungkook looks at it curiously. And then he realizes he can breathe again, and oxygen rushes to his lungs.

“Holy shit,” he curses. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Lisa says. “I got you.”

She sits next to him, and there’s a silence while Jungkook contemplates his throbbing heart. He wonders if you’re aching too - he hopes you don’t have anxiety attacks like he does. Though, to be fair, this is the first he’s had in a few weeks.

He takes a deep breath, and then he glances at Lisa. “What am I supposed to do?”

Though the anxiety has passed, his eyes fill with tears, and Lisa watches him carefully for a few seconds. There’s a flash of hurt in her gaze, but Jungkook thinks he might have imagined it.

“Talk to her,” she says. “Text her that you want to talk to her.”

“She saw you…” Jungkook whispers.

Lisa sighs. “She did.”

“How am I supposed to justify that?”

Lisa doesn’t reply right away, and Jungkook holds her gaze. He sees it - the hurt flashes so bright he can’t say he imagines it, and he gulps.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“Listen, Jungkook,” Lisa carefully says. “I… I’m happy I’ve been there for you in the last few months. But tonight… I think we both agree it was a mistake. And I wish I could help you still, but I think right now I also need to think about myself.” She looks away, and silver lines her gaze. “I’ve always known we weren’t going to happen. You just took me by surprise by asking to hang out tonight. But I think it’s best if I take my distance from you.”

Guilt - new guilt - crushes Jungkook, and all he can do is nod his head. And he agrees with her anyway.

He wouldn’t be able to hang out with her anymore.

“So I don’t know how you can justify that to Y/n,” she adds. “I really don’t know, but I think you guys need to talk.” She meets Jungkook’s gaze, smiling sadly. “And I really hope things go well for the two of you.”

“Liz…”

She offers him a single, small nod. “It’s okay, JK. I just want you to be happy.” She chuckles, and then she wipes at her eyes. “I’m sorry I’m telling you this now.”

“No, don’t be,” Jungkook immediately reassures her. “I…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, not really knowing what he was going to say.

“We can still be friends,” she says. “I don’t want to lose your friendship.”

Jungkook nods. “Okay. Yes, of course we can still be friends.”

Lisa smiles again before looking down at herself. “Well, I better get dressed.”

All Jungkook can do is nod again, and he watches as she picks up her clothes and then heads to the bathroom.

In the meantime, Jungkook grabs his phone and goes to the messages. He finds your conversation, clicks on it, and prepares to type a message.

But he can’t figure out what to say. He just stares at his phone, panic threatening to overcome his senses again, and then he shuts it off, tossing it to the side as Lisa walks out of the bathroom.

Even a little later, when Lisa has left to head home, Jungkook still doesn’t know what to say. So he texts his therapist, asks if they can have an appointment tomorrow, and then he puts some anime on, hoping that it’ll chase the heartbreak from his chest.

It doesn’t, and he falls asleep to the sound of Tanjiro fighting a demon, only to be woken up when Ariane and Taehyung come back home in the middle of the night.

Read chapter 13 here!

☆☆☆☆☆

:((((( i promise the angst is slowly getting resolved! even if it doesn't seem like it rn :')

#chasing cars ch 13.5 #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fic #jungkook #jjk smut #jjk angst #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk fic #jjk #jeon jungkook #btswritersclub #chasing cars #chasing cars series

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bitchy-craft · 1 year ago

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Random Things About Your Future Spouse | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out a few random things about your future spouse. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people: therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterpost > Questions > Paid Readings [NEW]

Pick A Pile!

Art: fresh_bobatae

Pile 1:

They enjoy creating elaborate scavenger hunts for family gatherings.

They have a talent for turning ordinary moments into spontaneous dance parties.

They collect fun, random, and for a few of you old stuff.

They possess an uncanny ability to remember the lyrics to obscure songs.

They always keep a secret stash of snacks in unconventional places around the house.

They have a passion for stargazing and will try to see shapes in them.

They enjoy writing handwritten notes and leaving them in unexpected places.

Pile 2:

They organize the family photo album in chronological order with meticulous captions.

They have a knack for giving thoughtful, personalized gifts for every occasion.

They can flawlessly impersonate various cartoon characters, delighting children and adults alike.

They maintain an impressive collection of board games and hosts game nights a lot with friends and family.

They adopt 'useless' traditions, like celebrating "reverse birthdays" where they give gifts to others.

They have an adventurous palate and loves experimenting with unique and exotic recipes.

They possess a green thumb and turns the backyard into a thriving garden full of fruits and veggies (mostly veggies).

Pile 3:

They always have a witty and clever response ready for any situation, much to your annoyance.

They enjoy writing and illustrating whimsical bedtime stories for the family.

They organize spontaneous road trips to explore hidden gems and off-the-beaten-path destinations.

They have a talent for creating elaborate, themed holiday decorations for the home.

They initiate random acts of kindness like leaving encouraging notes for neighbors.

They love adopting and fostering pets, turning the home into a joyful animal haven.

They enjoy learning and teaching fun and useless facts that become family trivia.

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serverusslaype · 1 year ago

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Shameless, pt. 11

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

guys im running out of gifs to use ffs

despite that, HELLO!! i am more than 100% certain that you adorable feral little cretins are going to love this chapter holy fk. like i'm actually so excited to see your reactions/comments LOLL

i apologise for the long, long wait, however i wanted to perfect this part, it was really important that i did, otherwise it would be a waste, and kind of cringe. i won't keep you any longer <3

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy this!! and again, thank you soooo much for all your replies and reblogs and likes they just make me smile all the time, i really cannot believe that people like this, i'm still flabbergasted.

warnings: 18+ further down, minors DNI after the big red *'s. i also put a sign to say where it ends if you're not comfortable reading such things!

if i was any good at coding i'd cover it up, you know how people do on discord, like that spoiler thing. but alas, i am but a technophobe.

(this song is very important during that certain scene so if you will, please listen to it as you read <;3)

onwards and upwards...

Severus stood beside Dumbledore, his hands hanging at his sides, fingers fidgeting thoughtfully at the seams of his his black slacks. Before he was able to speak a reply to the Headmaster, a voice he had hoped he'd never hear again pierced the blanketed silence in the Great Hall. For a moment, both his heart and stomach dropped as he turned his head toward the irritating voice, jaw clenching almost immediately.

"Y/N!" None other than Benjamin Bluewater had called out, his ridiculously well-groomed hair bouncing as he jogged towards you. Severus felt a burning blaze of rage prickle his skin as his eyes observed how Bluewater embraced your rigid form, clearly in shock at his sudden appearance. What the hell was he doing here?

"Ben-" Severus heard you gasp as Bluewater pulled away from you, his hands flying up to cradle your cheeks intimately. Something Severus had done less than an hour ago. The jealousy that was raging inside of Snape was lethal, and he was desperately fighting the urge to rip you from Bluewater's slimy grasp and tuck you within the safe haven of his arms.

Your fearful eyes met Snape's icy ones, setting a kaleidoscope of butterflies free in his stomach. He could tell you were quietly begging him for help, however, he refused to get involved. The last thing he wanted to do was seem suspicious and perhaps trigger an unnecessary reaction from Bluewater. Snape remembered how volatile the boy could be, he served enough detentions with him. In fact, that was one thing that Severus was worried about. He wasn't sure if you knew about his bad temper.

"Are you alright? I came at once when I heard about Black getting into Hogwarts." Bluewater said, his overly-concerned voice dripping with worry. Something didn't sit right with Severus as he watched the two of you. Why didn't Bluewater visit when you had been attacked by a dementor? How does that not warrant a visit but this does? A deep, frustrated sigh left Snape's nose as Ben's thumbs brushed against the apples of your cheeks. Your hands reluctantly rose to sit atop of his forearms, silently soothing his worries.

"Wha-what are you... how...?" You stuttered, cheeks ablaze. You had to take a moment to compose yourself, and it didn't help that Severus's fiery eyes were burning holes into you. Inhaling slowly, you spoke again. "What are you doing here? How did you even get in?"

"Well, it helps when you work at the Ministry of Magic," Bluewater shrugged, a proud, smug smirk teasing his lips. His hands fell from your cheeks and settled on your waist, squeezing you a tad. You tensed up again as you glanced at Severus, your heart going a million miles an hour. Bluewater frowned as he followed your eyes, a flash of surprise crossing his features as he finally noticed the two of you weren't alone. "Erm... Headmaster, Professor... Snape." He greeted awkwardly, offering a nod. Snape wasn't keen on acknowledging him, however, Dumbledore kept it polite, smiling at the boy.

"A lovely surprise, Mr Bluewater." Dumbledore said. It had sounded sarcastic, but that was unintentional.

Severus stared at Bluewater with cold eyes, his gaze slowly falling to where his hands sat comfortably on your waist, taunting him. His mouth twitched bitterly. "How you've grown, Mr Bluewater," Snape commented slyly, his sharp eyes flicking back up to meet Bluewater's. "It feels like only yesterday you were causing chaos here at Hogwarts. More specifically in my classroom." He drawled, eyes narrowing in contempt.

An incredulous huff slipped from Bluewater's nose and a sarcastic grin broke out on his face; his grip on your waist tightening. The jealous fire in Severus exploded. Clearly, there was unresolved conflict between these two.

"I see you've remained the same, Snape." He quipped sharply, tongue like a sword. Severus turned his back to you and Bluewater, his shoulders stiffening as he muttered something to Dumbledore.

There was an awkward silence that fell upon the four of you.

You turned to Ben, keeping your voice low. "Look, I think it's best if you leave." You muttered, an uncomfortable expression slipping onto your face. You nibbled on your bottom lip.

"I'm not leaving until I know where Black is, I need to keep you safe." Ben laughed dryly, his eyes narrowing at you in disbelief. Oh no, no-no-no. He had to leave, there was no way he could stay.

"I'm perfectly safe here," you attempted to reassure him, "I'm surrounded by some of the most talented witches and wizards to ever exist, Ben." An incredulous chuckle fell from your lips as you spoke, a little surprised that he deemed Hogwarts unsafe. How could it be unsafe when Dumbledore was here? Despite that, you couldn't risk him noticing the tension between you and Snape, it wouldn't look good on either of you.

He looked at you with a stiff expression, his gaze flicking to where Snape and Dumbledore stood, eyes hardening as he stared. You glanced away awkwardly.

"I'll stay here until I deem it so, Y/N." Ben said rather sternly, making your brows shoot up in shock. Since when was he like this? This was not the Ben you knew.

"Sorry?" You choked.

"The Ministry gets the final say, irregardless of what you or Hogwarts thinks." Ben tilted his head at you as he stared down at you. "I'm staying." His serious tone of voice made you back down and nod, your lips pursed. There was nothing you could say or do to change his mind.

Shit.

Shit, indeed.

Two knocks sounded at Snape's door, and he audibly sighed, a little vexed that someone had chosen to come and bother him when he'd just settled down - his raging jealousy had finally subdided after two hours of brooding in his office.

"Come in." Snape grunted from his desk, piles of parchment and books surrounding him messily. Usually he was neat, organised - but tonight was rather exasperating. He just about managed to watch another man with his hands all over you.

"Severus," Minerva McGonagall's voice made Snape's head snap up, a startled look adopting his features. He definitely was not expecting the Head of Gryffindor House to be knocking at his door. "I'm sorry to impede, however, I wanted to chat with you. Regarding Y/N." She sighed, her wrinkled lips pouting. His body suddenly felt heavier.

"What about Professor L/N?" Severus asked curtly, looking back down at the pile of assignments in front of him like he had no interest in the subject.

"I wasn't born yesterday, Severus," Minerva said, a stern look taking hold of her face. Snape's jaw ticked, his fingers stiffening in irritation. He sighed and glanced back up at the older witch, waiting for her to continue her lecture. "You need to be careful. She's just a girl." She said softly and stepped forwards a tad, linking her fingers together in front. Why was he getting lectured when he's been the one trying to push you away? Well, he was. Now, all he wanted to do was pull you close to him.

"This is no concern of yours, Minerva." Severus's brows furrowed harshly, his voice clipped and cold. Minerva's eyes narrowed; his tone rubbing her the wrong way.

"It concerns me when it starts to affect my colleagues." Minerva retorted, her patience wearing thin. She knew this was going to be a hard conversation, especially with someone like Severus. "I just want you to consider things before you cross that line, Severus. This isn't... wise."

It isn't wise? Well, who would've thought that? Not me, apparently, Severus growled in his mind, sighing heavily through his nostrils as he stared at Minerva.

"You think I don't know that?" Severus groaned, shutting his eyes as he reached up to massage his temples. He felt a headache coming on; all this stress wasn't good for him.

There was several seconds of quiet before Minerva spoke again, voice soft. "Do you care for her?"

He kept silent once again.

Minerva felt for Severus, she knew what it was like to care for someone and to have to push them away. In fact, it felt horribly and hauntingly familiar. This was like a walk down memory lane for her. Her head tilted slightly, her eyes softening as she stared at the Potions Master who had his eyes glued to his desk, palms splayed out atop of it as he intensely read through an essay. "I do not want your pity, Minerva," Severus hissed, his head snapping up, a face full of anger, "I have walked down this road before, and I know how it ends. So please, save your sorry for someone else."

Minerva was so used to Snape's flick-of-a-switch emotions that she hardly flinched at his sudden outburst. "Alright." A soft sigh left her as she glanced away from him, her fingers flexing. There was nothing left to say, she knew that Severus knew the risks with you. And you knew the risks with him. For now, she could only let things play out, she wasn't going to play God. If the two of you wanted to do it, who was she to stop it?

"I have a lot of work to complete." Severus grunted, his shoulders hunching up as he sat closer to his desk, burying his nose further into the parchment. Minerva exhaled softly through her nostrils and her lips pouted together again. She blinked, turning around to leave.

As her fingers grasped the rickety door handle, she looked over her shoulder at Snape. "Should you and Y/N choose to take such a risk, Severus," she began, earning another exhausted sigh from him, "don't break her heart. She doesn't deserve to go through that pain. Not at such a young age."

Severus's eyes faltered a tad as he glazed over the messy handwriting laced upon the parchment sat in front of him, as if it were goading him. His breath hitched slightly at her words. Minerva had a point. A very, irritatingly valid point. Severus cared for you - a lot. However, now he found himself questioning whether it was enough - whether he was enough for you. He couldn't pour his whole self into a relationship with you if it wasn't that - his whole self. Were you better off with Bluewater? He could probably treat you better than Severus ever could. Bluewater was young, handsome, somewhat smart... he also had a very good job at the Ministry... Severus was but a teacher, and he was old. Why would you ever settle for someone like him when a boy like Bluewater existed?

The click of his door told him that Minerva had left. Severus buried his face in his hands, his heart twisting and knotting itself as it yearned for you.

Rolling over in your bed, your unwearied eyes skimmed your darkened room, landing on the clock that was hung on the wall. Almost eleven o'clock at night. Ben stirred beside you, the bed creaking and groaning as he shuffled to right, away from you, burying his cheek in the pillow. You glanced at him and sighed, your mind wandering to the thought of Severus. You wondered what he was doing right now. Was he awake or asleep? No, he was definitely awake, that man never slept.

Severus.

Gods, you adored that man. You weren't exactly sure what it was that drew you to him, but perhaps it was just his aura; it was so dark, mysterious. The way the two of you bantered so easily, the conversation flowed like a river and it felt natural, whereas, with Ben... it was... well, it just felt artificial - forced, almost. It wasn't a secret that the chemistry and tension between you and Severus was incredibly palpable - even Minerva had noticed, and suddenly that made you panic - what if Ben notices? Other teachers? The students had even noticed last year when Severus had helped you up the steps when duelling Lockhart. He won't notice, will he? No, he won't be here long enough to.

Hopefully.

You rolled over in your bed again and noticed that Ben had turned back towards you, so the two of you were face to face now. You tucked your hands up and underneath your chin, allowing yourself to stare at his features in the dark. As you laid there, staring, breathing soft and slow, your heart skipped a beat as he shifted slightly; the shadow that was cast against his face suddenly transforming him intosomeone else. Suddenly, he'd grown long, obisidian black hair that framed his face perfectly, his basic nose had become hooked and prominent, his cheekbones turned more defined.

You sucked in a sharp, yet soft breath - careful to keep quiet so you didn't wake Ben - your skin prickling with goosebumps. Was this how hung up you were on Severus? So much so that if you stared too long at someone, they'd turn into him?

Your hand slowly rose to drag itself against your face. Glancing at the clock again, you knew you weren't falling asleep any time soon. You'd been laid there for at least two or so hours, tossing and turning, begging for your brain to shut off so you could perhaps get some sort of shut-eye. So, you chose to get out of bed. Flipping open the duvet, the biting cold of your room enveloped you; a chill shooting down your figure. You shivered slightly as you sat up and twisted yourself on your bum so your legs hung down over the side of the bed. It creaked slightly as you leant forwards to put your slippers on, prompting you to quickly glance behind you to check if it woke Ben - thankfully, it didn't. With a quick exhale of relief, you spun stepped out of bed and padded quietly over to your sofa where your favourite comfy, deep green cardigan was resting over the arm of it.

You picked it up and slipped it on, wrapping the warm, soft and cosy garment around yourself. Headed towards your door, you threw once last look at Ben and clicked open your door, shutting it calmly, making your way down to the one place you only wanted to go at this time of night.

The mossy, damp smell of the dungeons invaded your nostrils angrily, almost making you cough. You forgot how bad the smell could get down here during the autumn and winter months. The cool chill seeped through your wool cardigan, making you pull it tighter against your frame, hurriedly trying to keep every bit of warmth around you before it escaped.

As you neared that certain door, you lingered by it, raising your knuckles hesitantly.

With a stern sigh, you knocked, and awaited his usual grunt of acknowledgement.

"Come in." Came an annoyed tone from the inside just as you expected. You bit the inside of your cheek as you creaked open the door and slipped inside.

"Erm, hi," You squeaked out, closing the door shut behind you and pressing your back against it, staring awkwardly at Severus, who was still sat behind his desk, head down. "What are you doing up so late?" The sound of your voice made him look up, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"I could ask you the same thing, Miss L/N," Severus mused. You couldn't help but smile coyly at him, padding forwards to move closer, your skin tingling with anticipation. "So, what brings you here?" Severus asked, his voice curious, yet there was also a hint of coldness to it. You assumed it was because he was tired - or at least hoped it was that.

"I couldn't sleep." You hummed, folding your arms against your body, the silk skirt of your yellow nightdress shimmering in the low, amber light. Severus found himself glimpsing down at your garment; the sheen of the smooth, rich fabric catching his attention. Your cheeks suddenly simmered from the way his eyes glazed over you.

He looked back up at you. "So, you chose to bother me instead?" Severus quirked a brow.

"Precisely." You smiled bashfully, a quiet laugh slipping from your mouth as you rocked back and forth on your heels, your eyes leaving his to glance nervously around his gloomy classroom.

"How lucky I am." He said sarcastically, leaning back in his chair. Your smile stayed on your face as you rolled your eyes, stomach flipping at his voice.

"It feels weird that almost a year ago, we were in here, brewing that Mandrake potion together." You commented as your eyes fell on the exact desk the two of you had stood at.

Severus's eyes followed yours. "Indeed," he spoke, gazing back at you as you were distracted, taking a moment to admire you. His heart skipped a beat as the corners of your lips quirked upwards into another sheepish smile. Though, he soon felt indifferent to it as the thought of Bluewater slipped into his mind. "That was also the time we spoke about... your friend." Severus added, tutting at the end as if he had to force himself to spit that word out.

"Oh, right, yeah," you said awkwardly, clearing your throat, "you two still seem to absolutely despise each other." You looked at Severus, a rush of butterflies surging through you as you found his inquisitive eyes already glued to you.

Severus only grunted in response, clearly unwilling to talk about Ben. His body stiffened and his eyes had hardened. "Who would have thought that he'd come back to haunt me later on." He huffed, voice soaked in sarcasm. You had to force yourself to keep a straight face, unsure of how he'd react if a smile broke out on your face. You didn't exactly want to get into an argument right now. "I was foolish to think that he'd had enough causing me grief every single period that we shared."

"He was just a boy back then." An amused hum left your lips, though Severus didn't share the same outlook. His face had become stony again, unfeeling.

"He is still a boy now." Severus spat, like the idea of Ben was poison in his mouth. "He's young, barely twenty-three. He has a lot to learn."

"Am I just a girl to you, then?" You tilted your head at Severus, a tiny smile picking at the corner of your lips. You were twenty-two, almost twenty-three - a whole lot younger than Severus.

He stayed silent for a moment, staring at you, studying your gleeful little face. You suddenly felt a little vulnerable and so you averted your eyes to the ground, your face hot and embarrassed.

"Far from it." He sighed, eyes still glued on you. No, you were so much more to him than you could imagine. He couldn't tell you that though. Not when you had a chance at true happiness with someone that suited you better than an old, ugly git such as himself. "You're a grown woman, you've proven that." His reply had you shocked. You were not expecting such a response, in fact, you were actually expecting a dig, or even a petty insult. Your stomach felt a little heavier as you frowned at him, your eyes gently and slowly dissecting his worn features.

"Oh?" Your voice slipped up an octave as you were caught a little off-guard. "What, err, makes you say that?"

"I don't think I need to explain my reasoning. You're an intelligent woman, no need to spoon-feed you." Severus said simply with a slow blink, his glittering black eyes staring into yours, prompting your cheeks to burn even hotter. You forgot how beautifully hypnotising those two pools of inky-black were as you stared into them, almost losing yourself again.

"It feels weird to hear you compliment me." A gentle laugh left your lips. Severus's own lips tugged upwards slightly, the smallest hint of a smile appearing on his usually-cold face. A comfortable, yet partially awkward silence hung in the air for a moment. You stepped forwards once more, shuffling closer to Severus's desk, almost a foot away from him now. You looked down at the piles of assignments in front of him, curious. "May I?" You asked quietly, gesturing to them. He nodded.

You picked one up and began to read.

'Amortentia is the strongest known love potion in the world. Amor is a Latin word meaning ''Love'', it is also the name of the Roman goddess of love. ''Tentia'' is the Latin for ''held''. It makes the drinker become infatuated and obsessed.'

"I remember this," you smiled, eyes still glued to the parchment, "fourth years, correct?" You looked back to Severus, who was currently staring at you with such soft eyes that you almost melted right on the spot. You had to clear your throat to attempt to compose yourself, though it was truly in vain. It hadn't helped.

"Correct." He muttered, still staring at you, inducing a shiver of goosebumps to erupt on your skin. Your breath hitched slightly as you gripped the parchment tighter, never breaking contact with his eyes. A sharp pain suddenly shot through your finger.

"Ouch," You gasped, the essay falling to the ground as you let go of it, rushing to grab your injured finger. Severus's brows furrowed at you.

"Are you alright?" He cast a glimpse at your finger that you were now squeezing tight, a tiny spot of blood beginning to dribble down it.

"Mhm, just a cut, I think I accidentally cut myself on something that was stuck to the paper." You laughed awkwardly, a little embarrassed as you flipped it over to see a shard of glass stuck to it in a sticky substance. You placed the parchment back onto his desk and looked down at your finger. A scarlet liquid was beginning to ooze out, and fast. You exhaled, feeling a little woozy. Blood was never your strong suit - as a matter of fact, you hated it. The sight of it always made you feel so lightheaded.

Severus noticed your unusual behaviour and quickly rose from his seat, rushing to your side. "Let me," He sighed softly, his hands taking ahold of yours, an electric jolt shooting through you. Your breath hitched once more as you glanced up at him, your wide, doe-like eyes meeting his sparkling obsidian ones. Severus felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment. He was trapped in your eyes, the buzz filling his body up like a drug. You drew him in so easily, and it didn't help that you were excruiatingly even more beautiful up close. The moonlight did you no justice in that greenhouse.

Forcing himself to tear his eyes from yours, he reluctantly looked back down to your injured finger, retrieving his wand from his sleeve. The moment he'd taken your hand in his, his mind went insane. There was no other feeling like it. Merlin, he wished he could experience that moment all over again.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, voice quiet, aiming the tip of his wand over the cut. You hadn't looked away from him once.

"No." You whispered. Severus's head shot up, his worried eyes meeting yours instantly. A warmth spread throughout his body, engulfing him. The two of you were so close, sheer milimetres apart. So close that if one of you leaned forwards even the tiniest amount, the tips of your noses could touch. He needed to stop getting himself into these situations with you, he wasn't going to get over you if you kept ending up inches apart.

His hot breath was on familiar territory again, tickling your pink cheeks, caressing your jaw. Like you were pulled forwards, you found yourself gradually leaning toward him with parted lips, testing the water as you brushed the tip of your nose against his larger one; soft eyes flicking between his lips and his two pools of black. You hesitated, waiting for Severus to respond, your heart thundering against your ribs like a starved lion locked within a cage.

His wand-holding hand faltered slightly, the tip tickling your palm as it grazed your skin; your creeping presence sending his own heart racing. A soft gasp left you as it touched your hand. Severus's mind was fighting desperately for him to pull away, to save you and him the heartache. Perhaps months ago, he'd listen. However, having you so close to him, so vulnerable and soft-looking, he couldn't help himself. Against the wishes of his mind, he tipped his head forwards with half-lidded eyes, nudging the side of your nose with his. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to pull away, to push you away to spare his heart. He knew he wouldn't be able to deal with the aftermath if you suddenly decided one day that he wasn't enough for you anymore. However, he decided that you were entirely worth the risk in this current moment.

You swallowed and allowed a hand to slip up onto his chest, your fingers splaying out slightly across the broad area. With a slow, controlled inhale, your eyes fluttered open to look up at his through your lashes. His tongue poked out sheepishly, wetting his lips as the two of you stared at one another, waiting for the other to make the first move.

He shuffled forwards once more, your lids fluttering shut as Severus pressed a soft and slow kiss against your lips. It was gentle, sweet and reserved. Tender, tickling you like butterfly wings. A warmth bloomed in your chest and your body leaned in instinctively towards his, silently begging him for more. As Severus pulled away, your eyes were still shut.

"Kiss me again," you whispered, "please."

The last word was all the encouragement he needed from you.

Severus leaned in once more, pressing another gentle kiss against your lips, another buzz of electrifying warmth sweeping through the two of you. It suddenly felt as if the world had stopped turning, like you'd been shot into another dimension as Severus held you close, his cool skin a great contrast against your burning skin. Your shallow breaths hitched once more as he sheathed his wand back up his sleeve, a hand coming to rest tenderly against your cheek; cradling your face like it was the most precious thing in the world as he kissed you. A part of you was melting at how gentle and soft he was being with you, and the other, wilder part was begging him to deepen the kiss; to just take control of you and show you how much you truly meant to him.

Your cardigan had slipped off of your shoulder as you leaned into his tender touch, exposing your skin to the chilly, damp air of his classroom sending a shivering chill through your body. Your other hand quickly snaked up his strong chest to meet your opposing one. After a moment, they found themselves nestled around his neck, a speck of blood staining his white collar from your finger as you grazed past it. Severus's other hand swiftly made its way to your waist and pulled you close, his body desperate to become drunk in your warmth once more. A soft moan bubbled in your throat as Severus peppered gentle kisses against you, pleading him to go further.

Almost immediately, he caved at the sound of you, his fingers digging into your clothed-flesh, any feeling of guilt fleeing from your body. Gods, you were so wrong, Ben was nothing compared to Severus. Ben never made you feel an ounce of the way that he did - you couldn't remember a time where Ben had touched your body the way he did, nor a time where Ben had kissed your lips as he did.

The two of you had become lost within each other as you made out sloppily in his classroom, his hands gripping you so deeply that the worries of Severus leaving bruises upon your supple skin had vanished from your mind. In fact, deep down, you were hoping he did. The way his hands held your body was heavenly, other-worldly.

You were a little embarrassed at how easily you folded with this man.

Severus's current state of mind was the total opposite of yours. In his head, all he heard was the constant chant of something telling him to stop. He pushed past it, drowning the voices out with harsher kisses, forcefully grabbing you tighter, pulling another moan from your lips. His conversation with Minerva from earlier began to rear its head within his own, torturing him. His stomach twisted awfully, and suddenly there was a bad taste in his mouth.

What the hell was he doing? You were seeing someone.

You were seeing someone.

Is this how pathetic and utterly sad he was? That he immediately latched onto you because he finally felt appreciated, wanted? For once, he didn't feel like a burden to the world. He felt validated, desired, perhaps even loved - everything he had ever wanted when he was younger. Your soft touches sent him spiralling, and he couldn't escape this maze of uncertainty. Did you truly feel something for him or was this some sort of sick, twisted fantasy you had? Were you just taking advantage of him? Was he so easy to be manipulated? He hoped not, he'd worked incredibly hard to get ahold of his emotions; imprisoning them. And you were breaking those thick walls down like dominoes.

"Severus, you're hurting me," Your voice suddenly whined, tearing him from his thoughts as your fingers touched his shaking hand that was gripping your hipbone like a merciless vice. Almost immediately, he released you from his grasp and stepped away, turning his back to you ashamedly. Several seconds of silence passed through the pair of you, your fingers lingering on the sore area, gently rubbing it in an attempt to soothe the ache. "Are you okay?" You kept your voice quiet and soft, careful not to startle him. He clearly wasn't in a good state of mind.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his head drooping, "I shouldn't have kissed you." Severus slowly turned around, his body parallel to yours, a solemn look upon his features. "It was wrong of me, and I was selfish." Severus added, his lips molding into that familiar, emotionless flat line as he stared at you. You frowned and reached your hand out to him, however, he shied away from it. Your chest tightened as you quickly pulled your hand back, hurt by his rejection. All this emotional warfare was wearing you down.

He's running away again, you thought, a shock of fear bolting through you.

"Why are you sorry?" Your brows furrowed deeply as you wrapped your arms around your body, the chill of the dungeon devouring you once more. You instantly missed his warmth against you.

"You're with Bluewater, are you not?" Severus's eyes hardened as he spoke that wretched name. Suddenly, your throat felt incredibly tight. Shit, Ben- he'd totally slipped your mind the moment Severus had kissed you. You'd undoubtedly made a bad habit of forgetting him when in the presence of Severus...

"Erm, yes." You said quietly. The tone of your voice had him confused. You sounded regretful.

Severus stood straighter as his hands slinked away behind his back. You shrunk underneath his towering height.

The next thing you wanted to say could ruin it all. You had no idea whether Severus felt the same. Did he feel something for you, or was it just lust for him? Perhaps some sort of fantasy of fooling around with a younger professor? Everything you'd built could come crashing down like a burning plane within seconds. Your hands suddenly felt clammy as you fought to find the right words, your mouth quivering.

"I..." you breathed out as your eyes fell to the ground for a moment, staring hard. "He's not you." You glanced back up at Severus, his scrutinising eyes sending your lungs into a breathless spasm. You felt like you couldn't breathe as you waited for his reply.

"Don't be a fool, Y/N." Severus's voice was cold. It made your stomach drop. Was this his way of rejecting your affections?

"I'm serious." You chewed on the inside of your cheek, eyes studying his unwavering stony face.

"You can do far better than me. I will only hurt you, Y/N," he spoke, his voice deep and languid, "I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible, I will make it impossible to live a life without pain and regret. People do not linger around me for certain reasons."

"Yet I'm still here." You huffed quietly, your fingers squeezing your arms out of frustration.

"For now." Severus mused sarcastically, wallowing in his self-hatred. It hurt you to see his true opinion of himself, and it made your mind race with reasons as to why he despised himself so much.

"Why can't you see yourself the way I do?" You sighed softly, almost defeatedly, gazing at the man in front of you. Severus hated how your eyes were laden with sorrow.

"You look at the world with rose-coloured glasses. I do not." He replied. Those deep, black eyes had suddenly lost the flicker in them, and it pained you. He began to move, sweeping back to his desk, taking a seat behind it - still disorderly and untidy.

You were quiet, quite obviously hurt. Severus's jaw clenched, an ache spreading across his chest as a deep sigh fell through his nostrils.

"Why do you always shut me out, Severus?" A shaky exhale left you as your eyes burned. The emotional rollercoaster that this man was sending you on was truly heartwrenching.

He was silent in response to your question, eyes stuck to his messy desk, an indelicate representation of his current state of mind.

"Severus, answer me," you demanded, attempting to sound as stern as possible, though it was a pathetic failure as your voice broke; breathy sobs fighting to escape your throat. "Why are you so scared of this?"

"I will only hurt you, Y/N." He said, too afraid to look at you. Severus couldn't bear to see you so upset, especially because of him.

"You don't know that." You replied, voice soft.

"And you do?" Severus's head snapped up at you, frustrated, his eyes cold and ruthless; back to their usual appearance. A quiet gasp shot out of your quivering mouth. "Bluewater is better for you." He admitted. How could he say that when he'd said you'd deserved better than him?

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" You cried out, the building frustration within you finally crumbling and spilling out through your tears. Severus looked away from you, physically unable to watch you cry. Gods, he wanted to rush to you and hold you, tell you that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't. He had no idea if things were going to be okay. And they definitely wouldn't be if he had the honour of callilng you his. "Y/N-" His eyes were still avoiding you, too ashamed to even look at you.

"No, Severus, what gives... what gives you the right to kiss me, to pull me so close to you and then suddenly shove me away like I'm nothing but a piece of dirt on your shoe?" You rambled, your hands flying outwards frantically as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. It was embarrassing how unravelled you'd become, but you couldn't stop yourself. He'd finally broken you. "You can't keep doing this to me, I can't- it's..." Your lungs and throat burned. You'd exhausted yourself. "To kiss you? Did you not initiate it?" He scowled at you. "You were the one pushing your face into mine!"

"Okay, sure, I admit to that- but you didn't have to kiss me! You could have walked away!" You cried, walking up to his desk and pointing a finger at his face. Immediately, his lip curled upwards, his features twisting into a disdainful scowl.

"Is that not what you wanted?! For me to kiss you?!" Severus bellowed, rising from his desk chair, his hands slamming down onto the desk furiously. This time you didn't flinch, too distracted by the flaming hot anger searing through your veins.

"Did you?!" You exclaimed back at him, leaning forwards over his desk. One more time, the two of you were impossibly close - so close that you were sure you could feel the angry heat radiating from each other's bodies.

The room was suddenly dead silent, and yet, the only things the two of you could hear were the ragged, desperate breaths that seeping out of your heaving chests.

"Go to hell, Snape." You whispered with a red face. You felt humiliated, angry, upset- actually, you were certain every single emotion was surging through you right now; the way your body was trembling uncontrollably made you sure of it.

Severus's lack of an answer more than enough for you. With a frustrated, teary-eyed huff, you spun around, storming straight for his door.

Jesus, how could you have fallen for such a cruel man? Were you so blind? He had an abysmal reputation for a reason, yet you still selfishly thought that you could change him, that you could fix him and make him a better person. And you were wrong, Gods, were you so. Fucking. Wrong.

You were only three steps away, when a strong hand suddenly gripped your arm, spinning you around with force. You whirled around, taken by surprise as Severus crashed his lips against yours, his touch-hungry hands rushing carelessly to grasp at your waist, drawing your body into his. He was like a devouring flame, hungry and starving for its fuel of life. You gasped against his lips, your body soon falling victim to his alluring aura, melting shamelessly into him. Your mind clouded with lust and desire as your hands swiftly settled around his neck once again, desperately tugging him as close to you as possible as a few stray tears fell from your closed eyes, wetting both of your cheeks. You were unabashedly needy for his touch - for his lips, for his whole self in general - your body and heart was begging for him, and Severus noticed.

Severus pushed you backwards towards the very desk that the two of you had brewed the Mandrake potion a year ago, his hands slipping underneath your thighs to lift you up effortlessly. Your bum grazed against the surface as he placed you down, a rogue piece of wood tearing the hem of your nightdress slightly. You spread your legs, inviting him in, his hips pressed against the edge of the desk as he kissed you hungrily. Severus's hands slipped up from your thighs and felt their way up to your waist again, squeezing you tenderly, shooting a delicious shiver up your spine. He pulled a delicate moan from your lips as he let one of his hands snake up to your neck, his thumb grazing against the side of your breast on its travels. A groan bubbled in his throat at the sultry noise, a thrilling jolt trembling through him as his hand gently grasped the back of your neck, his cold fingers tickling the nape of it.

You mindlessly wrapped your legs around his hips, tugging him closer with each lingering kiss like he could be ripped away from you any second. Severus's hips rutted against yours and you gasped, prompting an animalistic groan from his mouth.

Your hands fell from his neck, sliding agonisingly slow down his torso and halting themselves at his hips, toying with the buckle and buttons of his trousers. Instantaneously, with his wet and swollen lips still glued to yours, his hand abandoned your waist to help you with his clothing, unbuckling them one-handedly. You were impressed to say the least.

As you fumbled with his zipper, Severus returned his hands to your body. His slender and skilled fingers found your cardigan and slipped it off of your shoulders and arms, discarding it to the ground. You whined slightly at the sudden bitter air, though it was soon silenced as Severus delved his wet tongue wildly into your mouth, licking and caressing it against your own. You moaned as he moved his mouth down to your jaw, nipping at it sweetly, his tongue leaving a hot trail as he made his way down toward your neck; his fingers having a mind of their own as they flew to your shoulders, tugging at the straps of your nightdress. Another breathless moan tumbled freely from your mouth as Severus sucked sweetly on your neck, pushing you backwards onto the surface of the table. You let yourself be guided by him as you laid back on the desk, arching yourself as your hands flew from his hips to the back of his neck, diving your fingers into his thick, mop of black hair, urging him to continue.

Your lids are lazy and heavy as you let him ravage your neck with sinful lips. "Severus," You whispered, breathless, sending a shockwave through him. "Need you-" A lewd whine left you as your body rocked hungrily against his.

"Patience," He whispered back against your hot skin, panting. You whined once more, evidently unhappy with his response. Severus chuckled, pulling away from your slender neck, your hands sliding down from the mess of his hair to his clothed biceps. He leaned down toward your face once more, a pool of warmth flourishing in his torso as he gazed down at you. He lifted a large hand and placed it tenderly against your cheek, his thumb brushing against the pinkened apples of your cheeks. Instinctively, you leaned into his sweet touch, your cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red, inducing a rare smile upon Severus's lips. You allowed your fingers to shift from his tensed arms to the hem of his cloak on his chest.

"What?" You asked quietly, a coy smile gracing your full, swollen lips as you beckoned him closer with a tug at his cloak that lingered between the pads of your fingers.

"Nothing." He rumbled in his deep voice, still staring at you. You sucked in a cheek and bit down on the inside of it, the overwhelming feeling of vulnerability eating you up. His thumb brushed against your cheek again, sending a shiver throughout your body.

"Then kiss me again, will you?" You laughed softly, slightly embarrassed at the dishevelled state you were currently in. You gave another tug at his cloak again. Severus's lips quirked upwards again at your demand, caving at your sweet voice. He leant down slowly, large nose brushing against yours in an intimate fashion as he pressed a soft, chaste kiss against your reddened lips.

In this tender and soft moment that you shared with Severus, all you wanted to do was remain here forever. Seeing him act so warm and soft with you felt like a fever dream. From the callous way he spoke to you in the first year, you never expected a man like him to have such a gentle and delicate side. It was momentous - he'd finally succumbed to you, allowing you into his world; a side of him you never thought you'd ever see. And you were eternally grateful for it.

You felt yourself becoming lost in his addicting touch again as his hands travelled down your body, gently caressing your flaming hot skin. They reached your thighs, squeezing them, and your back arched into him; the fire from before burning hotter.

Kissing you, Severus trailed the tips of his fingers down your legs, toying with the hem of your nightdress, slowly and teasingly guiding it up towards your thighs. The sensation sent a chill down your spine as the crisp air nipped at your bare legs, excited goosebumps erupting all over you. With a delicious, muffled hum, he hooked a finger underneath the string of your underwear, pulling at it.

"You want this?" He muttered against your lips, his eyes fluttering open for a brief moment.

"Yes," you panted, "please, yes."

At the sound of your pleas, Severus slipped your lacy panties off of you, discarding them on the ground with your cardigan. Instantly, he grazed his hand up the inner side of your calf, and up your thigh, coming to a teasingly close stop at where you needed him most. You whined, rocking your hips into him, begging, pleading him to touch you. A throaty growl rumbled out of him, and he mashed his lips harsher against yours, diving his tongue into your wet mouth, engaging in a heated quarrel with your own. You gasped as his hand finally settled on your burning core, a single cool finger delving itself between your wet folds, circling around your sensitive bud.

A strangled moan left your mouth as he added another finger, tracing the outline of you agonisingly slow, a coil tightening within the confines of your belly. You were panting helplessly now as he teased you, losing all control as Severus slipped his fingers inside of you, extracting a high-pitched whine from your throat. You grit your teeth as he curled them inside of you, clutching at any last bit of strength within you to stop yourself from screaming out. Your body was trembling now, hopelessly, as Severus had you wrapped around his fingers quite literally.

You exhaled, "Severus," with a whiny moan, he pulled away from your mouth and removed his fingers from you and brought them up to your lips. Without hesitation, you parted them, prompting Severus to dip them into your mouth, your tongue curling around them sinfully. A groan bubbled in the back of his throat as you tightened your legs around his hips, begging for him to continue.

A smug smirk picked at the corners of his lips as he stared at you. Your lips were wrapped around his two fingers, saliva dripping messily from them, your eyes blown and dark, hungry for more of him.

"Such a good girl," Severus uttered, tilting his chin upwards. You almost combusted right then and there. "You always were." He hummed. Instantly, your hands flew to his trousers, tugging at them with wild determination. You couldn't wait any longer, you needed him now.

He pulled his fingers out of your pretty mouth and helped you, lowering his trousers; the growing tent in his boxers driving you insane. Your fingers hook at the hem of them as his own did with your panties, pulling them down urgently. A fierce flicker of lust and desire flashed in your eyes as his cock bounced free, your legs tugging him closer to you once more, a whimper leaving your lips in an attempt to persuade him to finally take you.

"Sev, please," The way you shortened his name in your soft, enticing and whiny voice almost sent him tumbling over the edge. He drew a sharp breath as he placed a hand against your cheek, and his other underneath your nightdress upon your waist, his fingers finally touching and squeezing your naked flesh. He groaned as you rutted your hips against him again. Without a delay, he slipped himself inside of you, the pair of you moaning together at the intense flash of pleasure washing over you like a tsunami.

Severus's mind was jaded as he fucked you, his mouth parting and lips quivering as he allowed himself to become lost in the ripples of unwavering bliss that rattled through his body. Your hands snaked up to his face and cradled it sweetly, pulling him back down to meet your lips again. The kisses were short and sweet, nothing like the hungry and harsh ones before.

Your head fell back slightly, your bottom lip caught between his teeth as Severus's full length sheathed itself inside of your warm, hot core; the delicious slapping of yours and his flesh echoing in his classroom. All those years ago, studying in here, never did you think that you'd find yourself right here in this sensual moment.

Severus's hand that was sat on your waist slipped downwards and settled itself on your hip, fingers digging harshly into your skin as he felt himself teetering closer to the edge. His breaths were becoming ragged, laboured and heavy, and so he brought his other hand down to your womanhood, slipping his fingers between your folds once more to thumb your clit. As he circled it skillfully, your body quaked with every rub, strings of moans and gasps falling freely and shamelessly from your busied mouth. The coil within you tightened, and your fingers sunk themselves into his mop of black hair once more, gripping it with force as your body shook uncontrollably.

Severus's thrusts became sloppy and uncalculated as he pulled his face back from you, watching as you came undone beneath him; your face twisting in a dangerously beautiful manner as the coil snapped. He moved his hands from you and placed them beside your hips as your walls clenched frantically around him, and Severus himself was sent tumbling over the edge, a broken and throaty animalistic moan slipping out of his mouth as his body gave out, collapsing over you. Catching himself with his hands, he transferred his weight to his elbows and forearms, leaning up slightly to gaze at you. His black eyes twinkled beautifully in the amber glow of his classroom, a flush of warmth blossoming over your spent, sweaty body. A gentle giggle came from you, and he found himself smiling. Usually, it felt odd for such an expression to take hold of his features, however, with you, it felt natural. Like it was meant to be there.

(end of 18+)

He allowed himself a moment to recuperate as your fingers softened their grasp in his hair, gradually glazing to his cup his red cheeks, thumbs brushing sweetly against his burning skin. He pulled himself out of you and pulled up his trousers, buckling them up. He pulled your nightdress back down over your legs, his hand lingering over your thigh.

"Don't you look happy with yourself," you giggled again, and Severus hushed you with a gentle kiss on your lips. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"What do you mean?" He frowned softly, thumb brushing against the silk material that covered your thigh. A warmth pooled in your belly at his touch.

"You're smiling, and it's not forced... or sarcastic." You smiled, biting down on your bottom lip playfully.

"I can't help myself," Severus muttered, his face mere centimetres away from yours, "You just seem to pull them out of me." The warmth within your burned a little hotter.

"Don't stroke my ego, you'll regret it, Sev." You joked, a toothy grin replacing the sweet smile. He chuckled at you.

"I hate to bring this up, however, it's niggling at my mind," Severus suddenly sighed, the tiny flicker of a smile that was on his face disappearing. "What about Bluewater now?"

You scrunched your nose up at the sound of his name, the guilt that once vanished making a very hasty return to your body, sinking into your aching shoulders. "Um," you winced, "I don't know. I can't exactly... end things with him whilst he's staying here, erm, I'm not sure how he'll react." You finished, allowing your fingers to brush through Severus's dishevelled black hair.

"Hm," he hummed, pondering. "what does that mean... for us?"

"We will just have to grin and bear it until he 'deems it safe to leave'." You made a face, mocking Ben's words from that moment in the Great Hall. A faint amused smile spread across Severus's face, your chest tingling at the sight of it. "And I'm not sure I can tell him about us, he might just lose it, you know how he... you know- hates you."

"That would truly be a sight to behold," Severus smirked, the arrogance in him slithering out. You rolled your eyes at him. "However, we must be wise in our decisions, I do not want you getting hurt." His other hand held your cheek, fingers brushing a stray strand of messy hair behind your reddening ears.

"Do you think you can handle acting like you hate me for a few more days?" You asked, a bashful grin gracing your blushing face. Your hand settled atop of his large one as he caressed your cheek. Severus couldn't believe how lucky he was. What on Earth did he do to deserve this? To deserve such a beautiful, kind creature like you?

"I did it for the past year, another few days is nothing." He quipped quickly, a playful tone in his voice. You scoffed at him.

"Wow," you breathed out, grinning, your hands flying to his chest to push him off of you. He obliged and leaned up, stepping out of the trap of your legs. You slipped off of the table and picked up your underwear and cardigan, putting them both back on. An embarrassed red blush fluttered across your cheeks as fresh memories of Severus rolling up your nightdress flooded your mind, almost drowning you.

"Oh, that's too far?" He laughed softly. You head flew to look at him, your heart skipping a beat from the sound of his beautiful laugh. You'd never heard it before, and it was... gorgeous, to say the least.

"That's the first time I've heard you laugh - genuinely." You gasped, an uncontrollable smile spreading across your face like a wildfire. Almost immediately, Severus's face dropped and he rolled his eyes, clearly opposed to your positive reaction. He wasn't exactly fond of being fawned over, it made him feel weak.

"And it'll be the last." He groaned, turning away from you as another sweet laugh bubbled in the back of your throat.

"I should get back, Ben is probably wondering where I am, or... he's still asleep, oblivious to the world." You sighed heavily, padding towards Severus's tall, cloaked form. He slowly turned around, his black eyes sparkling in the orange torchlight.

"Yes," He said softly, fingers coming up to hold your chin. All sense and feeling suddenly drained from your legs. "Though I'm not sure I can promise to stay away from you, let alone keep my hands off of you." Severus muttered, his deep, languid voice sending a shock through your smaller body.

Your breath hitched, "Well, you're going to have to try," you exhaled softly, eyes flicking between his. He brought your chin up, cool fingers grasping it sweetly, and pressed a tender kiss upon your lips. Naturally, your hands flew up to sit against his strong chest, a guttural groan emitting from his throat as he kissed you. You had to swallow the moan that threatened to slip from you, feeling yourself become aroused all over again. "Alright, I really have to go." You whispered against his mouth, though your body was showing the complete opposite of what you said.

You kissed him back, a little harder, tracing your tongue against the surface of his bottom lip. "Go, then." He murmured back, hands slipping from your face and down to your waist, gripping you teasingly slow. You arched into him, breaths becoming shallow and wanting.

"I'm trying," you whimpered, "you're making this very hard."

"Let me make it easy for you then." Before you could protest, Severus tore himself from you, a needy, desperate whine falling from your lips.

"Gods, you're such a tease." You groaned, folding your arms against your chest, a clear show of disappointment. Severus couldn't help but smile at you. You looked so incredibly cute with that unhappy frown on your little face.

"My apologies." Severus mused sarcastically. "Now, go, I will see you tomorrow."

You sighed, "Alright, fine..." eyes looking at his form dangerously, rousing him.

"Stop it, Y/N."

"What?"

"You know exactly what you're doing."

"Do I?" You blinked, an innocent look crossing your features.

"Leave. Now." Severus said sternly, gesturing to the door as he swept behind his desk, seating himself.

"Alright, I'm going." You couldn't help but smile cheekily as you moved towards the door, fingers clicking it open reluctantly. "Same time tomorrow?"

"We'll see. Now, go."

And so you did, slipping out of his classroom sneakily, making sure to shut his door as quietly as possible with the brightest smile on your blushing face.

What the hell just happened?

Part 12!

oh LORDT. i do hope i wrote that scene well, it was tough i won't lie. however, credit to the weeknd, bro really helped me.

let me know your thoughts, i'm always curious to see what you think :)

i love you guys!! thank you again!! make sure to drink enough water, it's getting super hot again ffs! >:(

taglist:

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@livillain00

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@renirat

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galadrieljones · 4 months ago

Text

Riptide

❤️ masterpost ❤️

Dragon Age | Solavellan | Abevellan | Amerivellan | Mature ❤️

Over the past ten years, Sene Lavellan, through her romantic pursuits, her gritty fight for the south, friendships that will last a lifetime, finds herself forever in love with a ghost, yanked down by the riptide, Solas. She is hunting wolves through time and space, anguish and joy as she pursues him without end. But as she learns that she does not have to fight alone, Solas must learn that the only possible answer for him, and the only true fate, is the love they share.

Only @ AO3

Chapters will be published every week or so!

Part I: Abelas

Chapter 1: You're Welcome (9/23/24)

Chapter 2: Inertia (9/25)

Chapter 3: The New World (9/27)

Chapter 4: Digging (9/29)

Chapter 5: Lighthouse (10/1)

Chapter 6: Paper Flowers (10/3)

Chapter 7: The Storm Coast (10/5)

Part II: Ameridan

Chapter 8: Inquisition Folklore (10/7)

Chapter 9: Last Call (10/9)

Chapter 10: Fireflies, Marshes (10/11) - NSFW

Chapter 11: Dragon Slayer (10/13)

Chapter 12: Winter's Bone (10/15)

Chapter 13: Unlocked Doors (10/17)

Chapter 14: The Dragon, the Redhead, and the Wolf (10/20)

Chapter 15: Who Are You Now? (10/22)

Chapter 16: Goodnight, Halamshiral. (10/24)

Part III: Fen'Harel

Chapter 17: What the Dread Wolf Takes (10/26)

Chapter 18: Valor (10/28)

Chapter 19: Haven (10/30)

Part IV: Solas

Chapter 20: All New, Faded for Sene. (11/30)

Chapter 21: Sweet Sorrow (12/6)

Chapter 22: Wise Men (12/13)

***Chapter 23: Possession (12/20)***

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Beginning in Part IV, this fic contains spoilers for Dragon Age: The Veilguard ❤️

#dragon age #solavellan #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: inquisition #solas #lavellan #abelas #inquisitor ameridan #amerivellan #abevellan

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astralnymphh · 9 months ago

Text

before the flora.

knight!ellie x princess!reader teaser. beginning is essentially just lore. bonus excerpt with ellie and princess interaction below the sketch. wrote the intro in january. no warnings tbh. illustration by @trackinglessons :P READ THIS . PALESTINE MASTERPOST

When the universe was born, there was only fire; a slowly waning blaze. And so hence when death begins to unfurl its low, groaning bloom— there will only be ice.

Yet the heavens and earth are nay alike, as death— and life, are interwoven by the timeless nuptial that is humans, and Mother Nature. Cordial and tepid heartbeats meet with her frigid and frightening marrow this season. Flakes are falling, a howl swells in the wind, and hearths stay an undying tongue of flame in the province of Istenad. Isle of riches and hedonism gone rampant amongst those who proved meritful of a conversation spat over gilded chalices. Or those who wiped a famished tongue stroke over the sole of His Majesty— The King's tan leather boots in entreat, declaring the hide a tenfold more gullet–watering than their stale, daily spare of bread. Where high life reins, low life is there to scrub their steeds.

The wintry pearlescent tundra fringing around uncharted woodlands hums your name— it carries by gale, an airy reed of vowels pulled through your ears.

Tut, tut, tut, the pecking of bark.

Everything seems to resound much heavier over the windows thick limestone sill. Woodwinds, the sough of pine boughs— a chorus wafted. Woodpeckers, they beat rigid timber with their sonnets of calling. The echoed tut starts to sound awfully kindred to a beckoning call of your name. And at daybreak, when the tangerine sun dips its head under the coast, you feel a magnetic lull to traverse your truest passions and slip away into the night, arctic chilled steel in hand. The quantity of hay sticking beneath your shoes collected by skittering across the night–doused thoroughfare was well enough to concern your maids on duty to dress you, brows fuddled at the streaming of straw near your door come morning.

Loop of your knuckles, bend of your wrist, a hand flexed on the hilt of a meticulously poached sword. A swing 'round your waist, a cold hale grip the air could taste, fighting off many mythic brutes of moonlight, however only conceived where dreams are airtight. The mind, it plays. The play it perceives, a viewing spread like tawny butter. Ghouls and ghastlies encircle a quaint pond, chanting away in cryptic grumbles and beastly bumbles, enraged with their slobber frothing at the fangs you tore from their sockets— deeper than artless, juxtaposed to the blinding ruby reds and dyed paper sunflowers of the theater. Your mind’s play felt real.

Unfortunate to your heart, dreams will stay dreams.

Nary a princess was meant to tune into melee, especially at your courting age. Nevertheless, your psyche has spurned from what a maiden is expected of and is completely in a haven of your own structure, your signature sanctuary.

In the farmsteads, a forthcoming soldier harvests not just crop— but dexterity. Derived and nurtured in the faraway prairie village of Dunwich, where the fertile seasons prove flaxen of corn and the trickling sweat of every farmhand turns to gold. Any newborn granted to this quaint village is fated to form calloused hands with labor written in their palm lines as time unfolds. In their— well, her— adolescent years, the yearning for practices of gallantry in knighthood swiveled her sights to the colossal stone castle way.. way far away. Sprouting beyond the earth line, far as the eye can see.

So, she learned, she trained, she slept, partaking in a ranged cycle taught by her ruthlessly departed father: Sir Joel. Reprisal became her nemesis; never able to rend the barrier of hesitation and cleanse her shut eyes of revolting imagery. The horseman of death was not omitting the trauma of this hazel-haired soldier. A weight so burdensome, her speckled skin remembers the tales of every scar clawed into it. Like how the lips of a bard cling to an everlasting ballad.

Every knight knew well to exile any lingering ties to the past. It's been years since he passed, she understands that. Though, the heart never lies, and certainly never covets forgetting.

Ambitions stemming from legions of knights in waiting have fallen short, submerging within the moat of the castle and sinking deep into the catacombs with no elegy sung. An allegory for dreams long since vanished. A domain so valued longs for those biding life with rigid bones, such as she. Tempered by the hardships, endured like metal meeting the blacksmith's chisel.

A vividness to her movements, flowing like a river. For it is water that soothes the most cosmic fires, carves veins into the earth's soil, descends from the heavens above and proves iron soluble. A knight so pinpoint and poised like a painter, yet so daring and baneful like a warrior of evenfall. An artisan of her craft, this knight-to-be is. Born to thrive in matters regarding protection of their kingdom and its nobility. By the sheer tenacity of her skill, she will excel. From the self–instructed lessons in a verdant pasture, basked by undying light in her hometown— to the ordained priming within the royal court.

They were forged to be dutiful.

You are a daughter of the illustrious King, Sagard, and swan–grace queen, Sagard— maiden name Adela, and sister of your highly revered and cherished kin, Prudence. Subsequent to her fabled rise, was your fall. A pratfall you plainly turned a serene ear from, for you foresaw its coming. Clandestine adventures and lollygagging in the marketplace earned you right in the clasp of consequences. You knew that, knowing it kept you on the balls of your toes before you'd be caught suiting into an act more repugnant— be it, no.. befogging yourself in a peasant boys' dire–in–muck rags, merely to play "boy" games as a young one?

Sacrilege!

Prudence was there, at every occasion, scolding with her youthful finger at the palace fore, sucking her fingertip wet of spit and dragging a stroke over your soot–strewn cheek, just before scuttling the halls in search of father, cawing, “Father, Father! My sisters become a boy again!” until it rang his fucking ears to a pulse. Hmph, father even countered his own remark of squawk, pouring through the walls, “Hah! The second son I wish I reared! Tell me, what peasants skin does she clad: butcher's boy, or of the farmer?”

Rebuking the role of royalty isn't your entire bastion of vengeance. You purely long for a world of your own color. Your self-brewn arcadia of art. In a concise phrase, desire for sovereignty. And your family chastised you curtly for every scant display of free will, short of the Queen, she is fair.

Daughter of the King, Princess of the thicket. You retain your fortunes. Modestly.

“Why don't you resemble your sister more?”

A ruby crested box designed by the best of goldsmiths is lodged at the margin of your beds footboard, safekeeping of your esteemed regalia. You possess a bedazzled amassing of circlets, veils, brocade and velvet tunics of long lengths within this box. But do any of them revel in the blessing of being worn on regal skin? Never. You opted for garbs of less gilding and jewels, so that you might taint it with whatever adventures mold under the ribbing of your foot. That shit offended your skin with its indelicacy of forgetting a human will don its fabric golds and woven jewels.

Even— court gatherings. You don the likeness of simplicity and temperate elegance. This morning's virginal aurora, a broach of light swoll from the windows arch, to the footing of your bed, made the wake of your eyes begin upon a lighting behind sheer skin. Your box of regalia shone in that incandescence momentarily. It danced, fleeter than you, irkingly so. You had to squint whilst flipping the clasps and hauling the heavy lid slanted against your bed, or else you may be heaven–blinded. “Every inch of Princess,” you intoned in quietude at the sight of glamored fabrics, “—whom I shant mirror.” and reached for the homelier fabrics, scratch of cobalt-blue linen delight brushing under your prints, you grasped your reserve tight.

“I was not made aware that there is a village wedding to be, dear sister— from what river does this dress of rags hail from?”

“It is not a brides dress, nor rags, leave me Prud—”

Prudence had blocked the shut of your chamber door with her hand flattened, pursuing, “You glum your gems. Rotting in that chest, tasting no light, no glory.”

You kept your lips thickly sown shut, casting dimly eyes to the ground.

“Shall I send for the steward so he may sell—”

“No need.”

“Hmm, most stubborn, are we? Then I—”

“I am least stubborn,” you wedged your fingers beneath her palm, prying the door loose, “—it is you, who strays your own counsel, unmoving as a mountain.” ending with the trudging shut of your door, ceasing in silence.

[++ bonus excerpt from act 2, scene 1]

“Uh–huh..” she draws out. Legato; a sarcastic reply, and wipes her tongue through the press of her lips together, “This far out? You must rebel quite often to have made a friend, I bet?” she tilts her head, a bit playful.

“You bet well— a lot, I assume?”

Cannily, she winks, “Indeed I do.” and aligns her face onward. Gesturing to her horse's rump a second— third? Eh, whatever time— she jerks her brow with a head cock back, “Hop on, I'll take you there.”

Both brows fall, and you flinch bemused, “Wh– uh,” as you hem and haw for words, grating a stutter, “But not a moment ago you spoke of the roads recent perils—”

“Surely it's not far?” she spoke presumptuously, “I mean, you've come this far, My Lady. Nobody would travel the woods past sunset, besides you it seems.” now a matter–of–fact vocal barricade that shoves itself into your ears and winds the cogs to think cleverly.

You shan't know my transgressions, sweet Knight. You may talk.

Trust is sparse as a puddle marched in.

“‘Tis but a mile out. Bravo on your convincing, Williams.” you wry and scoff.

“Can't fumble that name, huh?”

“I would not want to dishonor your knighthood.”

“You honor me with your coincidental presence, Princess.”

“Honor in your mind.”

"Hmph," her breathy chuckle, a sweetness you luckily caught with ears even numbed by the snowsquall. Do not blush. Do not smile. Fuck. Guess you'll be visiting Malina after all, the gale of a displeased sigh icing your lips over as you approach that dangling stirrup.

#౨ৎ. born of flora and fauna #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #lesbian #sapphic #ellie x reader #knight!ellie #knight!ellie x princess!reader #tlou ellie #ellie williams au #ellie williams concept

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exorcxqsm · 2 months ago

Text

Pas de Deux with Sin

Word Count: 3,5k

tags: yandere;sylus, alteration of religious concepts, manipulative behavior, suggestive content, hints of stalking if you squint

author's note: Hello, little monsters. Welcome to my very first ongoing work here on the blog. I’m intrigued to see how this goes and to find out if you all enjoy this as much as I did. This piece is just a small atmospheric prologue for a story I have in mind. If you find yourself curious about it, feel free to drop a comment on this post—especially since the prologue ends on a cliffhanger (totally intentional, by the way). I’d really appreciate any likes and reblogs. And if you have any requests or questions about this fic, my asks are open, so reach out. Just a little heads up; This is just the appetizer. It will only get darker from here. Read my masterpost to get a taste of the themes this blog will be all about, before continuing.

In a place where dawn never dared to break and the night held the town in a suffocating embrace, fear lingered like the acrid scent of blood. A heavy dread settled over the streets, wrapping around the inhabitants like a funeral shroud. The twilight twisted every shadow into a lurking menace, prompting the unwary to cast anxious glances over their shoulders as they hurried through the cobbled alleys.

Amidst this pervasive sense of evil, there stood a cathedral deep within the gnarled woods, a solitary bastion against the encroaching dread. Its weathered stones and crumbling façade whispered of abandonment and haunting, yet in the whispered tales of the townsfolk, it was revered as the last flicker of hope in a Zone gone dark.

You walked through the woods, your fingers curled tightly around the handle of the basket you’d fashioned, pulling it close to your chest as if it were a lifeline. The biting cold seeped through the fabric of your long black gown, chilling your bones beneath the laced veil that draped over your head, shielding you from prying eyes. Each step was quick and deliberate, a desperate attempt to evade the shadows that loomed, harboring the very things you feared.

As you approached the cathedral, the wooden staircase creaked underfoot. You reached the enormous double doors, pushing with all your strength, the hinges groaning in protest. The doors creaked open, their shrill complaint sending a shiver down your spine. You stepped inside, letting the heavy doors slam shut behind you, the echo reverberating in the hollow silence of the sanctuary.

The cathedral loomed like a forgotten relic, its exterior battered by the relentless passage of time, yet inside, it unfolded into a realm of unexpected magnificence. The marble surfaces gleamed softly in the dim light, reflecting flickers of shadows that danced across the statues lining the walls. Each figure seemed to whisper secrets from the past, while the crucifix at the chancel’s heart loomed large, a silent sentinel in the enveloping gloom.

As you stepped further into the church, the warm glow of votive candles cast a light upon the altar, wrapping the space in a cocoon of safety. You could feel the air shift, infused with the scent of melting wax and a hint of incense, as if the very essence of hope lingered here, waiting for weary souls to find refuge.

The flickering flames hinted at the presence of Father Reymond, who always tended to this sacred place with an unwavering devotion. You reached up to remove the delicate lace veil from your head, its intricate patterns whispering against your skin, when a sudden flicker of the sanctuary lamp caught your eye. You paused, eyes closing momentarily, as you fought against the creeping unease that threatened to invade your thoughts. This cathedral was your sanctuary, your haven amid the chaos.

“Child, I didn’t expect to see you here today. Didn’t you have a fever yesterday?” Father Reymond’s calm, reassuring voice echoed from the shadows, drawing a small smile to your lips as you turned to face him.

“I know I shouldn’t be here, especially with this persistent cough, but is there a better place to heal than God’s home?”

An appreciative hum escaped him as he continued to light the votive candles, their flames flickering like tiny stars in the twilight. “Your spirit is stronger than any illness, my dear. But I worry about you.”

You glanced toward the stained glass window, its shattered fragments reflecting the growing storm outside, the wind howling like a restless spirit. “The town feels… different lately. Like a weight pressing down on us. Have you noticed it? The murmurs in the night?”

Father Raymond's hand hung suspended in the dim light, an unspoken weight settling in the air around him. A weary sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his temples, the tension in his shoulders palpable. “Evil has a way of creeping into the cracks of the soul, much like the damp that seeps into these ancient stones. It festers and grows, nourished by fear and despair.”

“Father… Do you think they’re back?” You dared to voice the thought that had clawed at your mind for days. “It feels as if they’re watching us, as if they know more than we do. Sometimes I wonder if this forest is guarding something—or hiding it.”

He stepped closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder, grounding you in the moment. “Legends often carry a kernel of truth. But remember, my child, we must not lose hope, even when it feels as though the darkness is winning.”

With a heavy heart, you closed your eyes, kneeling at the altar, your hands clasped together in prayer. “I feel like I’m drowning in all this gloom. It’s as if a curse hangs over us. The townsfolk are restless, and I can’t shake the feeling that something terrible is about to happen.”

Father Raymond hesitated, the flickering candlelight casting fleeting shadows across his face, revealing a flicker of concern in his eyes. He seemed torn—caught between the urge to comfort you and the need to allow you space to find your peace.

His footsteps echoed softly as he moved toward the exit, pausing just before crossing the threshold. He turned to look back at your kneeling form, his brow knit with worry. “Remember, light can pierce even the thickest shadows. Do not underestimate the power you hold.”

The dim light of the cathedral flickered as the last echoes of Father Raymond’s words faded into the shadows. Alone now, you knelt at the altar, your breath mingling with the chill that seeped through the cracked stained glass windows. The air was thick with the scent of damp stone and melting beeswax, while the flickering candle flames cast dancing shadows that whispered secrets along the walls.

Before you, the crucifix loomed, stark against the darkness—a figure of suffering suspended in time. Its presence filled the space with a solemn weight, and you found your gaze drawn to the eyes of Christ, searching for solace that felt just out of reach. “God… where are You?” you whispered, your voice barely breaking the heavy silence. You clasped your hands tighter, fingers intertwining as if holding onto a lifeline, desperate for connection.

Outside, the storm raged, the wind howled like a banshee through the trees, shaking the very foundations of the abandoned church. Thunder rumbled ominously in the distance, sending shivers down your spine. With each crack of lightning, the shadows deepened, stretching and twisting as if alive, reaching for you with dark intent. The cold crept in through the broken window, wrapping around you like a serpent, tightening its grip.

You closed your eyes, trying to focus on your prayer, but images of fear and despair flooded your mind. "Please, grant me strength," you murmured, though doubt clawed at your heart like a beast. The stillness of the cathedral felt oppressive, the silence punctuated only by the distant rumble of thunder and the soft drip of rain against the stone.

Suddenly, a sharp crack echoed through the air, the sound of wood straining against an unseen force. Your eyes snapped open, heart racing as the heavy door creaked open, the sound eerily resonant in the stillness. A gust of wind rushed in, swirling the candle flames and casting erratic shadows that danced across the altar, as if mocking your fragile sense of safety.

From the depths of darkness, a pair of wings flapped—a quick, unsettling sound that sent a chill coursing through you. The shadows shifted, coiling ominously in the corners of your vision, thickening the air with an unnameable tension. It felt as if the very essence of the cathedral had shifted, warping the familiar into something sinister. You held your breath, your heart pounding in a frantic rhythm that echoed the storm raging outside.

Silence answered, thick and palpable, pressing down on you like a heavy cloak. Yet, amidst that stillness, you could feel him—a presence that brushed against your skin like the cold wind seeping through the broken panes, wrapping around you like a shroud. The flap of crow wings echoed again, dissonant and jarring, slicing through the oppressive quiet. Shadows loomed larger, and the flickering candlelight seemed to struggle against the encroaching darkness, fighting a losing battle.

Then you heard it—the soft, deliberate crunch of footsteps on the worn stone floor. Your heartbeat quickened, a wild drum in the silence, as you strained to peer into the dark, but the shadows swallowed everything whole.

“Praying for salvation, are we?” The voice was low and smooth, dripping with a mocking tone that reverberated in the empty sanctuary, as if the very walls conspired to amplify his presence.

Sylus.

“Leave me be,” you replied, your voice steadier than you felt. You clenched your fists, fighting against the creeping dread that coiled around you.

“I’ve always found it curious how you think the shadows can be kept at bay with mere prayers.” You could hear him moving, the rustle of fabric against stone, a ghostly presence just beyond your sight. He was circling you, prowling like a predator, and the knowledge of his proximity made your skin crawl.

“Why do you come here?” you gritted your teeth, struggling to mask the tremor in your voice. “You don’t belong in the light.”

“But the light only makes the darkness more profound, doesn’t it?” His voice slithered through the air. “Every flicker of hope you cling to, I can extinguish with a whisper.”

A sudden gust of cold air swept through the cathedral, sending a shiver down your spine. The chill seeped into your bones, and you could almost feel the weight of his gaze pressing down on you, even though he remained cloaked in shadows. “You think you scare me?”

“Scare you? No, I merely remind you of the truth.” He paused, allowing the silence to stretch, thick and heavy, like the oppressive atmosphere of the cathedral itself. “You know I can enter here whenever I please. This sanctuary of yours… it was never meant to keep me out.”

Terror gripped your heart, a vice tightening around your chest. “You’re wrong. This is sacred ground.”

“Sacred?” Sylus chuckled darkly, the sound echoing like a distant thunderclap. “You’re adorning your prison with flowers, but the bars remain. You feel it, don’t you? The pull of darkness, beckoning you closer.”

With every syllable, the shadows deepened, curling around you like tendrils of smoke, heavy with foreboding. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself to focus on the crucifix above, the figure of Christ caught in eternal agony.

But the moment was shattered as a flash of movement caught your eye. Just at the edge of your vision, two glowing red eyes pierced the darkness, watching you with an intensity that threatened to consume your very soul.

“Look at me,” he urged, his voice now a low, sinister murmur, “Embrace what you fear most.”

As you locked your gaze with his, the shadows shifted, revealing his striking figure standing just beyond the altar. Sylus, with his long white hair flowing like silken threads against the backdrop of the gloom, shimmering subtly in the dim light. The tailored black suit clung to his form, accentuating the sharp lines of his shoulders and the strong contours of his chest. Each movement was fluid and predatory, as if he owned the very space around him, a dark lord surveying his domain. Your domain.

The flickering candlelight danced around him, casting erratic shadows that transformed him into an ethereal specter, both mesmerizing and terrifying.

Your heart raced, captivated and terrified all at once. Those red eyes, glowing unnaturally under the flickering sanctuary lamp, pierced through the gloom, shimmering like embers and sin.

“This isn’t your kingdom, no matter how you act,” you forced your voice to remain steady despite the tremor in your chest.

His red eyes glowed with a malevolent light, and you could see the corners of his lips curl into a sardonic smile. “Oh, but isn’t that just it?” he replied, his voice smooth like silk. “You think this forsaken place offers you sanctuary. But shadows know no boundaries.”

As he paced slowly around your kneeling form, the very air seemed to thicken with his presence, pressing against your skin like a heavy fog. You could almost feel the cathedral's ancient stones trembling in response to him. “You’re not welcome here. You were supposed to stay away from this place. You don’t belong here.”

“Belonging is such a fragile concept,” he countered, his tone dripping with disdain. “Especially for you. You cling to the idea of safety, yet you invite chaos with every whispered prayer. Your God cannot shield you from the truth.”

“Truth?” you echoed, your voice wavering under the weight of his piercing gaze. “What truth? That you thrive on fear? In darkness?”

Sylus’s lips curled into a smirk, revealing a hint of amusement that made your skin crawl. “Fear is merely a response, sweet girl. It’s what makes you human. And you, with your brave little heart, are so deliciously human.”

You clenched your fists, refusing to let him see you falter. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Yet here you are, trembling in the remnants of your faith.”

The wind howled outside, rattling the broken windows as if in response to your exchange, a mournful wail echoing through the desolate space. You could feel the chill creeping into your bones, yet it paled in comparison to the icy tendrils of fear that wrapped around your spine as he drew nearer.

“This is my sanctuary,” you locked your gaze with his. “You’ll never take that from me.”

“But I already have. Every time you falter, every time you doubt the light, I am here, waiting. You can pray all you want, but I will always find my way back.”

With that, he took a step back, the shadows swallowing him momentarily before he loomed into view once more, his red eyes burning in the dark. Your heart raced as you grappled with the undeniable truth of his words, feeling the weight of his gaze as he surveyed you, a predator delighting in the hunt.

“Remember, sweetie,” he whispered, his voice echoing in the stillness of the cathedral. “Even in your sanctuary, you will never be truly safe.”

You inhaled sharply, feeling the chill of his aura brush against your skin like a cold whisper. “I won’t let you win.”

“Win? You misunderstand.” He stepped closer, letting his face become a dark specter against the flickering candlelight. “This is not a game of victory or defeat. It’s a dance, and you are already caught in my web.”

The flickering candlelight cast a trembling glow over the cathedral, but the warmth was eclipsed by the chilling presence of the man before you. You pushed yourself up from your kneeling position, desperate to escape the oppressive weight of his gaze and the overwhelming dark energy that seemed to seep into your bones.

As you took a step back, he moved with an uncanny grace, blocking your path with a slight tilt of his head, an amused smile dancing on his lips. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Let me pass.” The tension crackled in the air between you, thick enough to cut.

“Why would I do that?” He took a step closer, his presence enveloping you, making the air feel impossibly heavy. “You should know by now that the darkness always finds a way to draw you back in.” His red eyes glowed brighter as he spoke, his evol radiating in waves from him, wrapping around you like a dark shroud.

You could feel the very essence of the cathedral shifting, as if the ancient stones themselves were complicit in this twisted encounter, urging you to surrender to the allure of the darkness.

“I won’t let you control me!” you shot back, forcing yourself to cut eye contact, even as a part of you ached to remain lost in the intensity of his power.

“But you’re not as innocent as you pretend to be.” His voice lowered to a dark whisper. “You wear your faith like a mask, but underneath, there’s something that yearns for the desires you claim to resist.”

Sylus stepped closer, the space between you shrinking until you could feel the heat radiating from him—a warmth that felt both inviting and dangerously seductive. “You’re drawn to it, just as I am drawn to you. You’ve felt it, haven’t you? The promising freedom from the chains of your so-called faith.”

You clenched your jaw, fighting against the insidious grip of his words. “That’s a lie. I believe in the light. I fight against the darkness. Against you.”

He leaned in, your bodies almost touching, the intensity palpable. “Is that what you tell yourself?” He smirked, the corners of his lips curling in a way that sent a thrill of dread and intrigue coursing through you. “Lies are such a comforting blanket, aren’t they? You’re a part of this, and you can’t deny it.”

As he spoke, an involuntary urge surged within him—a longing to reach out, to touch you, to bridge the chasm of tension that crackled between you. It was a dangerous instinct, one he fought to suppress, but the pull of your presence was intoxicating.

You could feel it in the way he looked at you.

“Stop,” you whispered, though it felt more like a plea than a command. “You’re twisting everything I believe in.”

“Am I?” His voice dripped with honeyed malice as he moved even closer, his breath warm against your skin, igniting a shiver down your spine.

“Your faith is a fragile thing, sweetie… Just one touch…” His words hung in the air, thick with unspoken promise, as his fingertips brushed against your collarbone, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through you.

You gasped, heart racing like a caged bird desperate for escape. “Don’t,” you warned, the word tinged with desperation, feeling it clash against the tide of emotions swelling within you. He was messing with your head—that much was certain.

“Why not? We’re both standing on the precipice, and you know it,” he murmured, his breath mingling with your own. “You’re afraid of what you might find if you let go of your faith. But you’re also curious, aren’t you?”

You swallowed hard, the weight of his gaze bearing down on you like the oppressive darkness outside. “I refuse to be a pawn in your game.”

Sylus leaned in, impossibly close, his nose brushing against yours, igniting a blush that crept up your neck like fire. “Then why do you linger?”

Your knees felt weak, your erratic breathing the only sound beyond the howling wind and rain battering the cathedral’s ancient walls. “I do not.”

In an instant, the air shifted, heavy with an unnatural energy that sent a chill racing down your spine. Sylus’s presence began to dissolve before your eyes. Shadows curled and twisted around him, black and red mist swirling like smoke, cloaking him in a veil of darkness. You reached out instinctively, but he was already slipping away, his form fading into the night as if he were never there at all.

The flickering candlelight struggled against the encroaching shadows, casting erratic shapes that danced across the stone walls. Your heart raced, confusion flooding your mind. Where had he gone?

The atmosphere thickened, heavy with a foreboding silence that filled the cathedral like a suffocating fog.

As the last remnants of his silhouette vanished, a few black feathers fluttered to the ground, landing softly at your feet. You knelt to touch them, heart pounding, feeling the soft texture beneath your fingers.

The moment was shattered as a deafening crash of thunder echoed through the night, shaking the very foundations of the cathedral. The candles flickered violently, their flames struggling to stay alive, before plunging the space into darkness.

A gust of wind howled through the broken windows, rattling the stained glass as if the very spirits of the cathedral were awakening. The statues that adorned the sanctuary trembled, their stone faces contorted in silent screams as the storm intensified outside, a chaotic symphony of nature’s wrath.

A cacophony of sounds erupted—distant screams of the wind, the violent patter of rain, and something deeper, an ominous whisper that seemed to rise from the shadows themselves. You felt the air grow colder, the darkness pressing in around you, heavy and suffocating. Panic clawed at your throat as you searched the shadows, heart racing.

“I hate liars.”

And then, without warning, he was there—behind you, a wraith emerging from the void. The air crackled with a sinister energy as you turned, and the world seemed to spin, your breath catching in your throat. Sylus stood just a breath away, his red eyes glowing like embers in the darkness, piercing through the night.

“Run.”

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katuschka · 3 months ago

Text

Scene Three – My Lover's Hands Are Travelers

My Lover Does All These Things

Series Masterpost Masterlist Taglist

Jake Kiszka x f!Reader (1st person narrative)

2.165 words

My lover is a traveler. He’s seen the world, he’s ventured far. Now when he’s home, his hands don’t rest. When he whispers ‘you are mine’ they like to travel down my spine. My lover’s hands are travelers. When they travel, they tell stories of dreams that fill his heart. I find comfort in those stories everytime we part.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): tooth-rotting fluff, penetrative sex, oral sex (f!receiving), sweet, passionate and caring Jake, alcohol consumption, some hair pulling, otherwise nothing too crazy, as this should be a comfort read

As I was watching him sitting so peacefully in front of the fireplace, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was playing again, having abandoned the book he had previously read because he got some ideas again. And once again, he was turning them into sound waves that told stories about distant places he just came back from. Strumming and humming, playing and singing, while I listened and chopped onions and celery and carrots to feed my man.

And while his hands and mouth were on the mission to create yet another enchanting tune, I could tell his mind was residing somewhere else momentarily, his eyes gazing into the darkness outside the window. But I didn’t care, as my own mind was also wandering. The sun had already set and the warm glow from the fire and the kitchen lights transformed the room into a fairytale haven. Already cozy when we arrived during daylight, it was now a place I’d happily die in. I might as well be dead already, I thought to myself as I watched how the firelight created a red halo around his crouched form. It was otherworldly. Ethereal. The man was already both my heaven and hell.

Jacob…a perfect name for both an angel and a demon.

As if he just sensed what I was thinking, he turned around and smiled at me, and it almost sent me reeling. Jake’s side glances were definitely demonic. I smiled back sheepishly, thinking about all the devilish things he liked doing to me.

I threw the veggies into the preheated pan as I let my mind travel back in time to the first fall we spent together. He still looked like a boy back then, making me fall for his bashful, toothy grin and indecent jokes. We clowned about in the fallen leaves and when I thought that I couldn’t laugh any more because my side already hurt quite terribly, he took my face gently in his hands and I suddenly stopped as my breath hitched. Back then, everytime our lips touched it felt like the first kiss. He played my heart like a drum. He never stopped, actually.

I remember how he smelled of lavender soap and cotton, mixed with something that could only be described as a ‘young, virile male’. I remember how his lean biceps flexed when he was hovering above me, gazing right into my soul with his lips parted as if in awe. He was passionate, zealous, and a tad shy everytime I confessed how much he turned me on. We were infatuated, first ravenous and then blushing. Idiots in love.

He was not that boy anymore. Over the years I watched him turn into a man that was no longer fazed by my demonstration of all the love I had for him. He was basking in it now, making me feel like a confident woman in return. We took this journey together, becoming who we are now, and my greatest wish is that we would grow old together, too. We would still be walking through the sea of fallen leaves, making them crunch beneath our feet or kicking them out of the way. It could be here, at home or wherever our fate would take us. I don’t care.

But until then, I want to enjoy every minute of our time spent together with our current versions of ourselves. Right now I most enjoy sinking my teeth in his flesh when he pounds me into the mattress and his sweat drips down on my heated skin.

Sometimes he’s gentle and patient. He cradles my love in his calloused hands tenderly, just like he cradles me in our bed when I had trouble falling asleep, wrapping his strong arms around me, keeping me warm. My Jake…

Such a pleasant feeling, when he buries his face in my hair and whispers that he loves me. My heart calms down and my overworked mind can finally rest. World’s troubles evaporate in the air permeated with the smell of his warm body. Sometimes I just drift off eventually, other times our kisses gradually get more heated, and we prolong the night by becoming one in the darkness until we’re both completely spent…

I closed my eyes, lost in the moment momentarily, before I stirred the fragrant roasted vegetables and added minced meat into the mix.

I poured red wine over the sizzling meat in the stewpan, before I added some basil and oregano. The effect was immediate. The vapors filled my nostrils and made my stomach rumble. I refilled my glass too, and took a healthy gulp of the crimson liquid to chase the pleasantly dizzy feeling he sparked deep within me everytime he came back to me. Just like this time. He came back to me and my heart doubled in size once again, making it a bit hard to breathe. I was drunk in love.

As I sipped my wine, I turned to watch him again, lost in the secret corners of my twisted mind, until his soft voice brought me from my reverie: “I think you should add water now, before you burn it.”

Cheeky bastard. But he was eight. Of course he was.

He didn’t even stop plucking the strings when he berated me for my absent-mindedness. I did not see his face, but I swear I could hear him smiling. He knew…

I turned back to my task. I added tomatoes and water and stirred the mix again.

The music suddenly stopped and I felt rather than heard his stealthy footsteps behind me. A slight shiver of anticipation ran through my body. It started somewhere between my shoulder blades and traveled down my spine, as well as through my limbs. Only he possesses the power to do that - to make me tremble with anticipation even before I can feel his physical presence on my skin. Even before he utters a single word. One look into his eyes turns my legs to jelly. Sometimes not even that. My lover approaches me like a cold wind, only to burn me with the torch he carries. I’m like a phoenix when he does that. Born again, and again, and again after hundreds of les petites morts.

I played it cool. Seemingly focused on the task in front of me, I needed him to do more than that. He should try harder, to fight for his prize before he collects it.

I took another sip of wine and stirred the stew when I felt his fingertips graze the skin under my right ear. He drew small patterns, simple ornaments, hieroglyphics with hidden messages.

He does this pretty often, using his touch to tell me tales or to make me guess his momentary intentions. My body is yet another instrument, and he makes me sing about the things that haunt him. My body is like the plains of Nazca, gatekeeping the meaning that is created between the creator and the carrier. My skin is like a beach, where he writes stories in the sand at a low tide, only to be washed away and kept a secret later by the power of the Moon. Only the two of us know. And now he did it again.

I love you.

I cherish you.

I worship you.

I need to fuck you…

As his fingers wandered lower and began their slow journey to the curve of my shoulder, he planted a soft kiss to the previously abandoned spot. I smiled softly. “Are you hungry?” I asked innocently.

His fingers flexed and wrapped firmly around my forearms, as he hissed in my ear. “I’ve been starving.”

It was now time to let the bolognese simmer for a while. My Jake knew that very well. His approach was deliberate and well-timed. His palms slid down to my wrists. Yet another story. He let them travel to my hips and slid his fingers under the hem of my black sweatpants. Well, well, well, the plot thickened. My back collided with his bare chest as I reached behind me to grab a handful of his hair. He groaned when I pulled, and his teeth attacked my neck. Scratching, nibbling, biting. Oh, he was hungry, no doubt. Subconsciously, I reached for the pot lit to cover our future meal.

Turning me around, he pressed my back against the kitchen counter and pulled my pants down with one swift movement as he slid down on his knees in front of me. I stepped out of the bundle of fabric coiled around my ankles and he threw it aside before he stroked my calves.

“This,” he whispered as he kissed the skin below my navel…”is more delicious than ice cream.”

“And this…” He grabbed the underside of my left knee and lifted my leg, judging me to put my foot on his shoulder. “...this is when you scream.” He lunged forward and darted his tongue in between my fold without warning. He was right. I almost screamed. I dared to glance down to see him looking up at me intently, daring me to do what he loved so much.

I did. Not to oblige, but because I wholeheartedly wanted to. He looked so sinful down there that it always ignited the wicked spark in me. I entangled my fingers in his hair and pulled him even closer to me. I watched as if in slow motion how his eyes rolled up.He turned to my willing servant, literally on his knees. He moaned and started lapping at me hungrily, and I dug my fingernails in the nape of his neck, making him groan again. It reverberated through my groin and sent shivers up my spine.

He wasted no time, burying his face between my legs. I screamed again when his lips wrapped around my clit and he sucked it in, the tip of his tongue greeting the tip of my most precious spot gently. Jake knew how to ruin me. And he did it again, making the bubble deep inside my underbelly grow until he let it burst, lapping at me as if I was his personal fata morgana.

I didn’t realize I was floating until I felt my feet hit the ground again and he stood up to kiss me, with my release still on his chin. So deliciously wicked! My fingers promptly set to work, unbuttoning his jeans as I helped him get free from the confines of the stiff denim. He turned me around again and entered me hastily. My walls were tight from the previous orgasm and it stung when he bottomed out. I didn’t mind. I needed that. I wanted that, as I both felt and heard him disintegrate behind me.

I expected him to be rough, but instead he leaned on to me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight as if he was afraid I’d run away the moment he’d release me. How silly. I wanted the same thing. I wanted to melt into him. And if I pulled out a handful of his hair in the process, so be it.

I felt the same energy coming from him. The same urge, the same hunger. But even though his thrusts were passionate and frantic, his hands spoke a different language. “Your tits,” he breathed out shakily. “In the whole world, there’s no mountain peak more magnificent than this.” He pinched my nipple demonstratively as he kept on moaning those words.

“Your cunt…” he panted. “No valley, no deep crevice hidden within virgin lands, with…” It was a whimper now... “...with crystal clear streams can compare to this.” He almost wailed after he finally finished the sentence. My own mind was floating around, too. I tilted my head back, resting it on his shoulder as he rubbed his cheek against mine like a cat. I was no longer aware of my body. He reduced me to a bundle of nerves that responded to every single movement of his own flesh. It was only him and the feeling that he made me feel.

And so I felt his hands sliding back to my hips… “No meadows lush enough…to…compare…to…this!”

I held onto the counter frantically as the second wave hit me. I could feel myself tightening around him as his movements kept me spasming. That was it for him. His steady rhythm faltered, replaced by a series of jerky thrusts. I could feel his hot breath between my shoulderblades and it made me shiver one more time. He grabbed my hair and spilled the remaining drops of his seed inside me with one last thrust.

Our knees gave way and we slid on the floor in a much more relaxed embrace just when the timer beeped, telling me I should add passata and a final pinch of salt.

We laughed shakily, still trying to catch our breath.

This was not infatuation lust.

No.

This was love-driven desire.

Hunger.

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