#have to read a book in which like
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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alright, this one's a little more silly
#this chapbook needs 15 poems#I have 11 finished 😤#and they're in narrative order! so the first poem (this) comes before Belphie's birth#and then we go through him falling sick#and RECOVERING!!! 💃#I'm a little unsure if this one's as strong though.....I feel like the best ones are in the middle of the book#(which is bad if I'm trying to sell it to a publisher bc they might just stop reading)#belphegor
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nevermind i figured out how to draw her
#have you read the book of bill. go read it#rare double post because i feel like it#this is like the funniest thing ever to me#You All Know What Shes “Apologizing” For.#art#murder drones#murder drones skyn#murder drones flesha#murder drones cyn#potential gore warning#still dont know which tag to use for that sorry
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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The "Sansa reminds Sandor of his sister" motive that some people try to hitch to his character really just flies in the face of his actual attachments to her, doesn't it? Sansa reminds Sandor of himself. He sees the little boy who used to love knights in this girl who's been swept up by the same romanticism. He sees his abuser in her abusers, the much larger knight(s) beating on the helpless child. He sees how she is betrayed by every level of authority that should have saved her and remembers his father's neglect and Tywin and Robert's apathy for Gregor's crimes. He's protective of Sansa because he was Sansa.
And GRRM's design, that one of the strongest warriors in the series, a fearsome and cynical 6'8" guy who's "muscled like a bull" and has the face of death itself, sees himself in this soft and effeminate teen girl, and empathizes with her because he was an abuse victim too, is INFINITELY more compelling than "Oh yeah I bet she just reminds him of his sister," who he's never mentioned and who we know literally nothing about. Way to unnecessarily water down a character, you couldn't have ignored the black and white text more efficiently if you tried.
#sorry for the rant i saw this sentiment in a yt video recently#sansa stark#sandor clegane#sansan#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#and this is only one facet of why he has so much affection for her too#these people act like his attachment to her is limited to projection and not also bc she treats him like he's an actual human being#or that they can be themselves when they're with each other -that he can openly show his weakness to her and be comforted and validated#or like even just the physical attraction aspect - which is so obvious that you'd have to be willfully ignorant to miss it#how do you read him trying to kiss her and come away thinking “he thinks of her as his sister” lmfao#things that make me feel like people dont actually read the books
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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.
His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.
His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.
Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.
Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.
Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.
But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.
But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.
He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.
And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.
And the truth is worse than all of the lies.
How horrifying.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danny fenton is a clone#clone danny fenton#clone danny#thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself#thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son#the MEDICAL RECORDS#danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to#danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out#forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror#in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing#for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were#adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that#i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how#everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her#and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE#just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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uhhh so the number four is associated with death in certain cultures, including japanese, which is fitting for the butcher’s son, yes but just remember neil was supposed to be number three and jean was supposed to be number four ,and in every draft but one jean dies. he is symbolically saved from that fate by dodging the number four (being given, instead, the number three which represents REBIRTH of all things - i made a whole post about that if ur curious) because it means he was never marked for death. so in this draft, where he’s number three, but was supposed to be number four, he comes so close to death - to the point where renee doesn’t know how he’s still alive - because he was supposed to die, doomed by the narrative, but that number three saves him. that number three represents resurrection, and so he doesn’t die like he was supposed to. because he’s not number four, he’s number three. he comes back. he transforms, he heals. he becomes number 29 (i will eventually make a post about jean and the 29)
neil, though, was marked for death. he had the number four tattooed on him, and he goes through his own narrative believing he will die by the end of it. his survival, however, is foreshadowed in the very moment neil thinks he’s about to die - when he is kidnapped. lola burns the number four - the signifier of death - off his face, leaving him scarred, yes, but not marked for death anymore. and so he lives. and guess what: the number 10 represents the start of a new chapter, that one cycle is coming to an end and a new life is starting, one that you’ve worked hard for. so for the number four to be burned off of neil, that tells us neil is going to live. and when neil becomes neil legally, he settles into the number 10 properly. and his new life begins.
#god this was difficult to write bc i have so much more to say about this but i just can’t word it#like i can’t make myself make sense#so i’ll leave it here lol#aftg number analysis#number 4#number 10#neil josten#jean moreau#aftg#all for the game#the number 10 also represents completeness which is seen as neil completes the team allowing them to get to championships#and the number four also represents balance which neil attempts to achieve on the team#by uniting the upper class men and the monsters#i still have so much more to say but i’ll leave it here#stay tuned for more unhinged number analysis#i have to say when i first read the books at 16 i got SO HAPPY when lola burned the four off neil bc HE NO LONGER IS MARKED BY DEATH SO#HE’s GOING TO SURVIVE THIS#but i’ve not seen anyone else point it out
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Sabran and the White Wyrm - from The Priory of the Orange Tree.
#the priory of the orange tree#tpotot#queen sabran#samantha shannon#sabran#just pretend this dragon is this small#in the book it is so much bigger#but i wanted to draw them like this#so bleh#my art#if you have read the book then maybe this means sometghing else#if you havent read the book then dont worry amd ignore that tag#i just remember they have the same colour eyes#when you find out that the witch of the woods is *redacted*#that was ny thought process here#so maybe i am lying about this woman with the green eyes#but WHICH woman with the green eyes? 👀
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this is the iconic dinosaur horror jurassic park wishes it was
#so there's this person on twitter who is like an infamous drama starter and got a whole forum shut down once#and they wrote this (different) book that's one of the greatest so bad it's good things i've ever read#a few great things that happen in that:#characters get in a car crash and flee on foot. later it's casually mentioned one character had both her legs amputated 'due to fractures'#the character pretending to be american by wearing maga hats that have spy gear built into them#the spy gear in question is an alarm that blares if someone lies in their vicinity#'stuff protocol ' said the queen. 'i'm getting hammered tonight'#the chapter where the prime minister is trying to watch the news so she keeps wandering into bars and tv shops and getting kicked out#the dragon that's casually described as 'about the size of 1000 elephants'#the dragon that's a 'dog dragon hybrid with a chihuahua body and a giant dragon head'#the dragon that's owner punched it in the face and only lets people approach if they 'do the iconic royal wave'#the characters being described as 'the short one' 'the guy with the beard' etc#but there being a lengthy detailed description of the characters in harry potter#'apparently a dragon had burnt essex to cinders in a matter of minutes'#anyways i found out they also wrote (a political parody of indiana jones???) for this book of kids short stories years ago#and you know. we needed to know#so it took me like 4 months to track this precious lost media down#which was very worth it because it turns out it's full of many other iconic gems like CELLAR HELL by Elizabeth Elgie (12)
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"First, let's get something out of the way: a human's ability to grasp reality is painfully limited. You don't even have free will! Don't believe me? Okay, rip a dollar in half right now. Didn't do it? Didn't think so!"
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"PS: Look what I just ripped in half! Suck it!"
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I love Stan so, so much for this.
#hello there#book of bill#book of bill spoilers#stanley pines#bill cipher#this means stan#1. read the whole fucking book and PAID ATTENTION#2. wrote a snarky insouciant response to make his brother feel better and emphasize what little control bill has over their lives#3. ripped actual money in half to his assert (and more importantly his brother's) free will#it's such a serious moment in what seems to be an unserious response#except in this same letter he encodes the message 'love ya bro' making it look like swearing#not what he seems indeed#oh boi are he and ford going to have some CONVERSATIONS#conversations which i would like to write
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apropos of nothing, here are some gay historical fiction novels that engage with historical queerness in thoughtful, complex, and interesting ways (organized chronologically)
hild by nicola griffith ↪ early 7th century england
a tip for the hangman by alison epstein ↪ 1585-1593 england
confessions of the fox by jordy rosenberg ↪ 1702-1724* england
the confessions of frannie langton by sara collins ↪ 1812-1826 jamaica to england
patience and sarah by isabel miller ↪ 1816 america
devotion by hannah kent ↪ 1830s prussia to australia
the sweetness of water by nathan harris ↪ 1865 america
whiskey when we're dry by john larison ↪ 1885 america
the city of palaces by michael nava ↪ 1897-1913 mexico
tipping the velvet by sarah waters ↪ 1890s england
at swim, two boys by jamie o'neill ↪ 1915-1916 ireland
the gods of tango by caro de robertis ↪ 1913-1920s argentina
uncommon charm by emily bergslien and kat weaver ↪ 1920s america
the book of salt by monique truong ↪ 1930s vietnam to paris
the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay by michael chabon ↪ 1939-1954 america and beyond
the flight portfolio by julie orringer ↪ 1940 france
the savage kind by john copenhaver ↪ 1940s america
a thin bright line by lucy jane bledsoe ↪ 1950s america
*this one has a framing device and footnotes from the present day but the bulk of the story is set in the early 1700s
#lit#queer lit#this is a pointless text post#this is in no way comprehensive. i have read much more queer historical fiction and i will continue to read it#anyway one of the books on this list i did not really like and it's up to YOU the reader to figure out which one using clues from my blog#i didn't want to be like x character with y identity bc i don't think it's a meaningful way to interact w fiction ESPECIALLY histfic#as always feel free to slither into my dms if you want recs/have questions/comments/complaints
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Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats
#stardew valley#penny sdv#I didn't mention the SECOND opportunity to lose 1500 friendship with her#because I think if you go out of your way to date her and then tell her that you don't like her that way then you deserve it#but yeah she's super volatile#i was upset for a little bit after reading that one post saying the ‘right’ answer in the 2 heart event is ableist#like nooooo not my favorite farming game :(#except that in the context of several other things in the game it becomes clear that winning someone over#does not always mean doing the right thing#looking directly at how the easiest way to befriend shane and pam is by enabling their alcoholism#which is framed as a harmful thing even if the characters themselves like it#you have to lie to befriend other characters too like with sam dropping his egg#and you can lose a little friendship based on preferences like sebastian asking about what books you like#though to be fair if i saw someone who could potentially be cool and i found out that what they like was stuff im not into id also#lose interest a little#anyway those are all examples spread around on different characters#penny's got it all at once#me post
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iwtv is insanity inducing bc every time you google some reference in it you find out theyre doing some 4d chess with the symbolism… like okay playing roosevelt's speech about the us joining ww2 in the background as claudia tells louis shes gonna kill lestat is pretty straightforward, and of course the chess game theyre playing foreshadows how she beats him in the next episode but doesn't "finish the game" ie burn him. and bc claudia later compares lestat to the nazis/hitler, that obviously makes lestat germany and thus claudia is poland and louis is the us/roosevelt in the speech we hear: "I had hoped against hope that some miracle would prevent a devastating war in Europe and bring to an end the invasion of Poland by Germany" etc. BUT THEN you get nerdy and google some of the chess terms lestat uses like the dutch defense and stonewalling which is pretty interesting and then you vaguely remember one of the writers said the scene was based on some famous chess game, and you realize it must be glücksberg vs miguel najdorf which turns out to be literally called the POLISH IMMORTAL. najdorf was polish and glücksberg is some unknown but based on the name likely german. this was najdorf's first famous game, at the beginning of his career when he was only like 19 or something although we dont know the exact details of the game (and ofc you watch a few videos on the polish immortal and they all heavily criticize glücksberg's moves which makes lestat's arrogance even funnier) and ALSO, in 1939 (literally at the same time as the chess scene takes place) najdorf was participating in a chess tournament in buenos aires and since he was not only polish but also jewish, he stayed there rather than return home. his whole family was killed in the holocaust but he lived a long life in argentina. why is this relevant? because BUENOS AIRES which btw lestat also calls "la reina del plata" so you google that and find the 1930 song by carlos gardel and the lyrics are literally— anyway so buenos aires is where lestat planned for them to move to in ep7. perhaps if they had indeed gone to argentina instead of europe… well… perhaps… perhaps…
#spark in the dark#iwtv#interview with the vampire#i wonder if there will be more najdorf parallels in s2... theres a shot in the trailer where claudia is blindfolded#and najdorf set the world record for simultaneous blindfold chess in 1947 (!!!) which stood until 2011#although simultaneous blindfold chess also does kinda sound like what claudia was doing in ep7 already#theres also the najdorf variation of the sicilian defense which was named after him but he stopped using it bc#(if i understand correctly) some amateur who simply memorized the moves from chess theory books managed to beat him at it. HMM#to be clear i know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about chess im simply reading this shit off wikipedia and chess.com and some youtube videos#i could absolutely be getting this all wrong i have no idea what any of this shit actually means#s#claudia#vampterview#vampyyrit
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it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)
#HELLO back at it again#tug introduced groundbreaking new findings about soul permeability but my mind bypassed all that in favour of this au#the division of labour is as follows:#dulcie reads the instructions; snacks; and changes the radio station every time she doesn’t like a song#if you complain she will remind you she's literally dying. life is too short and mediocre songs are too long#pal gets stuff from high shelves and battles his constantly fogged up glasses#he tried to help with prep once and promptly got himself banned from using knives for the rest of his life#cam does 98% of the actual cooking#trivia section -#you can tell i am new to this because i arranged them in the wrong speaking order. let’s all practice our right to left reading#cam has a silly novelty apron because a) the idea was unbearably funny to me and b) i need to spread the gospel (aroace cam)#the cookbooks next to dulcie are ‘a few teaspoons of salt’ (by ianthe tridentarius)#and ‘saintly feasts: food for saints and scholars’ which is a real book! though not written by cassiopeia the first#*#dulcie septimus#dulcinea septimus#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#the locked tomb#field sketches#<< i get to have an art tag now!
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a paperback book isnt alive until you break its spine btw like a long slumbering animal being carefully roused it actually needs you to do that like when you click your knuckles. for your paperback book the breaking of its spine is like the first stretch against your pillow in the morning
#have seen people online before say they dont open their paperback books past 45 degree angles so as not to break the spine which is crazy to#me r u afraid someones going to see your books and think they look like youve read them. you are upsetting the book when you dont#break its spine to read all its contents and not even do it that one favour to make the book more comfy youre making it so so sad#also make peace with a book with a broken spine or a bit of wear and tear so that you can start buying books secondhand instead of#off amazon maybe idk#reading tag
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