#have to make her a more identifying tag because lets be honest i probably lost the rights to put down 'spg' on the end | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miraclekittyandbug · 3 years ago

Text

Ten Questions With A Twist Chapter 4

Here’s the next chapter! We’re now more than halfway through the series now, and WOW this is an eventful chapter.

I hope you enjoy and don’t forget to give me a follow and let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

~ Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night was cool, simply a perfect patrol night. Ladybug had gotten to their spot on the Eiffel Tower first, leaving Chat to find her looking very frustrated.

“What's wrong, Bug? Didn’t get a chance to ask any of those questions today?”

She huffed. “Well I managed to get one answer, but I need to figure out a better way to go about this. The way it was asked today isn’t gonna work for the whole list.”

Chat was startled. Had she overheard Alya ask her the vacation question? He took his seat next to Ladybug. “You could get a friend to help you out.”

Ladybug looked surprised, but quickly covered it up. “Yeah? And what would I tell this friend? ‘Oh yeah, my crime fighting partner thinks that he knows the answers to these questions that I have to ask this boy I like’? No chance. I’ll have to find a different approach.”

“Asking questions shouldn’t be too hard. They’re also pretty easy getting-to-know-you questions. If you know him well enough, he shouldn’t find it too difficult to believe you want to get to know him better.”

Ladybug’s face lit up with a revelation. “I’ve got it! Thanks, Chat. I’ll have all the answers soon enough. And that means you’ll finally have to admit that puns are terrible.”

“Alas, my lady, the only thing you’ll be winning is a date with me! I can just see it now: You, me, a high-up rooftop, and a romantic meal prepared by some of the finest cooks in the city.”

“We’ll see about that, kitty. For now, though, the rooftops of Paris are calling our names. Shall we?”

“After you, my lady.”

The roofs and balconies of the city felt the footprints of two heros, but Chat could only pray that soon enough, he would be sharing a date with the love of his life- out of the masks they wore.

Despite the confidence he showed his lady as Chat Noir, Adrien only became more and more unsure of himself as the night progressed into the next day. And so, Adrien went to school without the usual pep in his step. He could practically feel his lady getting further and further away from him, all the while she was growing closer and closer to the person she actually loved. He felt like a fool. He had let a single coincidence go to his head and went on assuming that he could be the person his lady adores. He went and gave Ladybug questions that were designed to make her fall more in love with him, he just hadn’t considered that it wouldn’t be Adrien she was falling in love with.

He managed to meander his way through the first half of his classes, only half paying attention. At some point he vaguely remembered agreeing to have lunch with Nino, who had agreed to have lunch with his girlfriend, who was invited by Marinette. Lunch continued to bore him, only bringing his thoughts of his lady and another man closer to the front of his mind. It wasn’t until about twenty minutes into their meal that Marinette finally said something that interested him.

“Hey, guys, I found this cool questionnaire, you wanna answer it with me?” Affirmations came from everybody at the table, including a casual shrug from Adrien. Definitely not the questions I want to hear. But anything to keep my mind away from the obvious.

“Alright,” She started, sitting up straighter and clearing her throat, “If you were stuck on an abandoned island, what three things would you bring?”

Adrien’s heart stopped. That was his question. One of them anyway. And for the second time this week, he started to try to talk himself out of being excited. Because those questions that he had given Ladybug, they were pretty basic questions. Questions that would be found in a million other places for much the same reason. But everybody was staring at him and he suddenly feared that he had thought all of those thoughts out loud.

“What about you, Adrien?” Marinette asked, looking concerned that her friend had zoned out so quickly.

“Easy. You three. Who would want to go it alone?” His answer was honest, for the most part. In reality, he would never be able to choose just three people. While his friend group meant the world to him, he would be lost without his Ladybug.

Marinette put her hand over her heart and sighed, but Alya quickly cleared things up, “You would just want us there so we can show you how to build a tent.”

They all chuckled and Marinette continued, “What’s your favorite animal?”

“Fox!” Alya said, though Marinette didn’t seem too surprised.

Nino chimed in, saying he liked monkeys a lot growing up, but he much preferred turtles now.

“Cats,” Adrien heard himself respond, but his mind was elsewhere. Suddenly, he wished he had paid more attention in math class. If I were asked three questions over the last two days, what’s the probability that all three would match up with three of the ten questions I gave ladybug? Three doesn’t go into ten evenly, and should I take into account the trains leaving opposite sides of town travelling at different speeds somewhere in America?

“Okay,” Marinette said, keeping one eye on Adrien, “And if you could have any pet in the world?”

“Well that’s just the same question twice,” Alya pointed out.

“Not really,” Nino interjected, “I’d rather have a dog than a turtle. Dogs travel better.”

Adrien had to hold onto the table, for fear of falling out of his chair. “I’d definitely get a pet cat. A black one. I’d name it The Plague.”

“That’s a sick name, dude,” Nino approved, “What about you, Marinette?”

“Hamster. But I wouldn’t mind a black cat for myself.” She paused, but when it didn’t seem that anybody else would add anything, she continued questioning. “What is your biggest fear?”

Adrien mumbled, “This. Right here, right now, these specific questions, in this exact scenario.”

“What was that, dude?” Nino asked.

Adrien just looked at him with a hollow look in his eyes, “I, uh, I said my worst fear is working for my father for the rest of my life.”

Marinette could barely be heard, “That’s… heartbreaking, Adrien.” The others just watched as Adrien tried to lighten the subject.

“Nah, that’s just my worst fear. It’s not what’s gonna happen.” He managed to focus on making eye contact with Marinette, “There’s nothing on that list about dream jobs, is there?” He hoped aloud.

“Actually, there is! What is your dream-”

“And THAT’S where I’m calling it in,” Adrien mumbled, his eyes bulged out of their sockets and he took a deep breath that filled his cheeks. He stood and started to walk away. “Alright, guys, I’m not feeling well, I need to leave. Right now. Immediately. Thank you. Goodbye.”

He was halfway across the courtyard in under thirty seconds. He ducked into a doorway and opened his shirt so he could see Plagg in his pocket, who was laughing incessantly.

“I don’t see what’s so funny, Plagg!”

“I do!” his Kwamii stated, “I think you found your girl!”

“Who, Marinette? No she can’t be Ladybug.”

Plagg’s face fell. “Why not?”

“Marinette is just a friend.” Plagg paused for a split second to stare at his chosen, then started laughing even harder. Adrien was about to tell him to quiet down when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He closed his shirt and whirled around, surprised, but not too surprised to see that Marinette had followed him.

“Hey, Marinette!” Adrien put on his best “everything is fine” face, but even he could tell he wasn’t pulling it off.

“Hey, Adrien. Are you okay? Over the course of, like, one minute your face lost all of its color.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he responded, “I just don’t feel well all of a sudden.”

Marinette made a face of understanding, but eventually spoke, “Are all these questions rubbing you the wrong way?”

Adrien was in shock. Not just from the questions, but from the company in which he answered them and the honest concern he felt from Marinette. Shit, maybe he did like Marinette as more than a friend. That thought alone freaked him out. How could he love two people at the same time? He didn’t think he was polyamorous, and thinking on that further, he was certain he wasn’t. He didn’t want two girlfriends, he just wanted one. Whether it was Marinette or Ladybug that he wanted, well that was too much to think about.

Before he could consider how to respond, Marinette interrupted his thoughts.

“Yeah, I just, my friend and I made this bet. This friend thinks they know all your answers to these questions-,”

Adrien was sure there was an end to that sentence, but he didn’t hear it.

Suddenly everything made sense. Her obsession with akumas. Always disappearing around the same time he did. The similar times of their arrivals to the site of the akumas. It could only be one person.

“Alya,” he said, breathless.

“What?”

Adrien responded, “What?” He mentally slapped himself. Of course it wasn’t Alya. Jeez, she had been akumatized! She had been used as bait for an akuma. Adrien must have been losing his mind. But even though he guessed wrong, he was on the right track. Whoever Marinette’s friend was, had to be Ladybug!

I guess it isn’t true that opposites attract, he thought, those two are so similar.

“So who is it?”

Marinette seemed confused, “Who is Alya?”

“No!” he corrected, “Who’s this friend? The one with all the answers.”

“Oh,” Marinette panicked. She didn’t seem prepared to answer this question, which only solidified Adrien’s belief that this friend was his Lady. “I actually don’t know his name.”

Adrien blinked through his confusion. That was odd. He and Ladybug had talked about this before. Ladybug was born a woman. She identified as a woman, as well. So was Marinette trying to protect Ladybug’s identity? Pretending that her friend was a man? Smart, he guessed, just very confusing.

Marinette seemed to notice that he hadn’t responded, so she continued, “Yeah, we’re actually…. Internet friends! Yeah, we’re friends on an internet. The internet. An internet site. Yeah. We go by screennames, that’s all.” Adrien found that explanation to be a little too convenient.

“Oh yeah? And what do you call this… boy?”

Her face drained of color, but she choked out her reply, “Black cat.”

A moment of silence later, Adrien replied. “What?”

“You know, that’s the, um, American, er English, for Chat Noir. He’s English. Well, he speaks English, he is… American.”

No… Adrien thought, But that would mean… no way!

“What’s the bet?” he asked, surprised at how sure he was.

“Oh, that? He thinks he knows all your answers to these questions. And if he wins,” she quickly added, “which he won’t! If he wins then I have to go on a date with him.”

Adrien couldn’t seem to think properly, but he was slowly realizing that his ‘liking two girls at the same time’ problem might not be much of an issue. “A date. Him and you? You specifically?”

“Yeah,” Marinette shrugged, “It’s just a stupid bet, but he seems really certain that he’ll win.”

“Well, if he does win,” Adrien sighed, letting his shoulders drop and his eyes glass over, “Then he is one lucky guy.”

Marinette stared at him. Adrien enjoyed their first bit of real eye contact. Normally looking somebody in the eyes was nerve-racking, but when those eyes were that specific shade of blue? He noticed how comforting they were. He realized maybe why.

Because those eyes weren’t just the blue of his friend who sat behind him and always had his back in his everyday life. They were also the blue that had his back in combat. That sat with him all night long when he didn’t know which way was up. That made him laugh under the stars when he couldn’t find the humor in life anymore. All of the times he came home to a cold house with no family, he felt lonely despite his friends at school. And on those days, blue eyes, the same ones that were in front of him right now, sat with him on a ledge of the Eiffel Tower and talked with him until he felt whole again.

Marinette’s face went pinker than pink instantly. Adrien enjoyed seeing Ladybug like this. Not just with a blushing face, though he liked that too. He liked seeing Ladybug whole. All of her. Without the masks, she could actually be herself, all of herself with him.

They stood there, both speechless, for what felt like an eternity. And then… the bell rang. Signaling the end of their lunch period. Adrien just chuckled, but his crime-fighting partner was still frozen. Alya walked up to the pair and Adrien just shrugged. Alya took Marinette’s shoulder and ushered her away. Nino did the same with Adrien, but he couldn’t pay much attention to the conversation his friend was trying to start.

His world had just changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

There ya go! Only three chapters left and next chapter is one for the history books! Stay tuned!

~ Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~

#miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous fic #mlb identity reveal #mlb fanfic #adrienette #ladrien #marichat #ladynoir

21 notes · View notes

danny-chase · 3 years ago

Photo

Breaking a Promise - Read on AO3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Titans (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), The New Titans (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Dick Grayson/Joseph Wilson Characters: Dick Grayson, Koriand'r (DCU), Joseph Wilson Additional Tags: tw for self harm, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Angst, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Canon Divergence, emotional breakdown, Broken Bones, description of injury, star crossed lovers, Flowers, Canonical Character Death, it's Joey guys, I'm Sorry, Swearing, lot of f bombs, POV Dick Grayson, Dick grayson centric, Dick Grayson is bi, Dick Grayson is Bad at Feelings, Dick Grayson is Discowing, Dick Grayson Needs Therapy, Dick Grayson Whump, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, a little bit of fluff near the top, Gardening, when your gf is poly and ships you with someone else, Heartbreak, Heartache, no beta we die like -sobs- Joey, Hurt/Comfort, and then hurt/no comfort to follow it up Series: Part 5 of Bad Things Happen Bingo Summary:

The one where Dick Grayson has his heartbroken twice.

Full story under cut

Two years ago:

“Dick, what about this one?” Kor’i smiled sweetly, positively glowing in the sun. She gestured to a little potted plant sitting in the shade of the bottom rack. Her hair fluttered in the wind, seeming to sweep up his heart as well. Crouching, he gently bumped her shoulder, and she nudged him back. Perfect.

“Why don’t we look over there?” Dick asked, pointing over to another shelf.

“But I like this one.” She pouted, puffing out her bottom lip slightly. He glanced at the little sprout she picked out, his mind happily buzzing as he identified it without looking at the tag – botany lessons with Alfred had paid off.

“Lamprocapnos spectabilis.” He began. Kor’i nuzzled her head on his shoulder, reaching out a hand to stroke the leaves. He grabbed the little tag sticking out of the pot. “This one is of the Valentine variety.”

“Mmm.” She rested her hand back on Dick’s thigh, warmth spreading from the spot. “Tell me more.” He swallowed and complied.

“They’re a perennial – they come back annually. They like full or partial shade, and are native to Siberia, Japan, northern China, and Korea.”

“How big will it get?” She asked, rising to her feet, carrying the plant with her.

“About yay high.” He spread his hands two feet. “But Kor’i, uh, I can’t just give that to Joey it’s-”

“Commonly known as the bleeding heart?” She smiled mischievously. “I don’t see why not, your heart bleeds all the time.” She innocently widened her eyes, batting her eyelashes. “Or is it because it symbolizes love? Do you not love him?” Doubt was as clear in her voice as it was in her face.

“I-” He stammered; he would never cheat. “I love you.” Heat rose to his face. “Only you.”

Kor’i was perfect, she was so loving, always building him up, never tearing him down. Always healing, nurturing, growing seeds of her own – not just in him, she seemed to bring out the best in everyone she met. People basked in her beauty, and he simply basked in the knowledge of her presence. In being loved so fully, so openly and honest. Dick didn’t know if he could ever love anyone more.

“Oh.” Kor’i looked thoughtfully at the clear cerulean sky. “I wouldn’t mind if you… loved someone else too.” He frowned.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like I did, but Kor’i, you’re the only one for me.” He stood, lightly pecking her on the cheek. She grinned, grabbing his hand, dragging him towards the checkout line.

“I like this one, forget silly earth symbolisms, Joey would love it.”

Dick sighed, following along anyways – she was right, of course, she always was – Joey would love the flowers, they were pals after all, he wouldn’t read too much into it.

One year ago:

A cool breeze snaked its way over the hillside, finding its way around the rock at his back and through his hair – leaving him disheveled in its wake. A chill rain up his spine, goosebumps swiftly decorating his arms. He could feel his hair slowly rise up, standing in a desperate bid to retain heat.

Dick wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there, knees tucked to his chest, head resting on his crossed arms. Too long likely. He should be back to the tower soon – he didn’t want anyone to worry, but after the mess on Tamaran, it was best for him to be alone right now.

He was just… so tired. He’d already destroyed half his punching bags trying to fight the emotion out – which had worked to some extent, leaving his hands throbbing and arms burning. He sprinted as far as he could go before his legs gave out. It had dulled the anger and pain, leaving him worn out and exhausted. The dull ache in his chest returned just as soon as it had left.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at the night sky – he’d come out here for comfort – to watch the waves lap against the rocks from far above and gaze up at the stars. But the stars could never shine brighter than Kor’i, only serving to remind him of what he’d lost when he’d ventured too close to the sun.

It wasn’t fair – Kor’i hadn’t loved Karras though they were together – legally bound, and he was here, light years spanning the distance between those bound by their souls.

He never believed in love in first sight. Not until he’d met her.

He’d always believed in love, though, from the time he was a child – his parents were living proof. It was foolish – his parents had died hadn’t they? Believing in their love until the bitter end, loving their lives, each other, him. It was love that kept them on the trapeze all those years, and that love had killed them.

He sighed, maybe Bruce was right – love wasn’t something compatible with their lifestyle. He never shared himself so fully with others or lost himself so fully either. Always playing cat and mouse with his lovers, never committing, communing with another soul the way he had with Kor’i.

He licked his chapped lips, tasting salt in the air. Light footsteps padded towards him. He curled further in on himself, not in the mood to talk. A rough woolen blanket dropped over his shoulders.

It smelled like crisp green apples, mixed with a hint of cinnamon.

Adeline Wilson had great tastes in laundry detergent – something she’d handed down to her son.

Joey crouched next to him, wrapping an arm around him, offering warmth and comfort. Dick hesitated, mind screaming to recoil, run away – be alone and repress, but heart yearning for the warmth and comfort he always seemed to find in Joey. That same warmth reminded him of Kor’i.

The desire for comfort won out, loosening up, he leaned against Joey’s shoulder. Joey’s chin nestled into the base of his neck; soft puffs of warm, wet air sent tingles down his spine. He raised his head a little dislodging Joey, feeling weirdly uncomfortable – but not displeased – just – he’d think about that later, now wasn’t the time.

Joey quickly backed off, removing his arm. Dick gave him a side glance and for a moment, lost himself in kind emerald eyes. <em>He isn’t Kor’i</em>. Why was that so hard to remember?

It took him a minute to process Joey signs. ‘Your hands.’ He followed his gaze down to his numb fingers. Upon seeing them he was hit by the realization they hurt like hell. He probably should have remembered to wear gloves, or at least wrap them, before taking his frustration out on punching bags.

His right hand had swollen, both had bruises blossoming, his skin rubbed raw, blood freely dripping from busted knuckles.

“Fuck.” He’d be out of the game for at least a month, if he was right about his right pinky – that was a boxer’s fracture. Tendrils of pain crawled out from the spot, his hands throbbing in time to his pulse. Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. He couldn’t afford to make mistakes like that – the Titan’s needed him!

Joey squeezed his upper arm, ‘let’s go’, he suggested, rising to his feet. Dick bit his lip, internally cursing himself for being such a dumbass. He shakily rose to his feet, immediately hit by a wave of exhaustion. Which in hindsight – he probably shouldn’t have sprinted until he dropped either.

Joey wrapped an arm around his waist, bending slightly to stand under his shoulder and steadying him as the blanket slipped over his shoulders. They left it were it lay – more pressing matters to attend to, but Dick shivered in the cool night without it. He took a few wobbling steps forward – and dumb – his knees gave out.

He never came close to the ground, instead, finding himself lifted into a princess carry. Joey smiled apologetically, with a little shrug. Dick sighed; this was embarrassing. He was eighteen – he should know better – Bruce had taught him better!

“It’s fine, thanks.” He ignored how rough his voice sounded, instead concentrating on the throbbing from his hands, using the pain to block out the ache in his chest. He focused his gaze forward, not thinking about how close he was to Joey, how Kor’i used to carry him this way, how Joey smelled like honeysuckle and lilac, how this was everything he missed – and he just prayed he wasn’t falling in love again – he couldn’t be, no – he just... he was projecting. He just missed Kor’i.

He ignored Donna’s concerned eyebrow raise as they passed her on the way back to the tower. Gar’s whistle as they crossed the living room. The way Joey was so delicate when placing him in the passenger seat of the helicopter, so careful to avoid eye contact, so mindful of his pride.

In the brighter lighting he noticed stark red against Joey’s golden curls. A flower from a bleeding heart had made its way into Joey’s hair. There were gardening gloves in his back pocket

His heart sped up as they took off, he felt weirdly lighter than before – though perhaps he was just dizzy from pain. Joey stared at him, his eyes darker than before, brow set determinedly, but looking pained and a bit melancholic.

“What’s wrong?” Dick asked, feeling guilty for ruining whatever gardening project Joey had evidently come from. A lot was wrong, he was wrong, was asking a stupid question.

The tips of Joey’s lips curled into a frown. ‘Do not do that again’ he pointed at Dick’s broken hands.

Dick shrugged, it was a dumb move, he couldn’t guarantee he’d never break his hand again. He shifted his gaze back through the window. Joey tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Promise.’ Well, if it would keep Joey happy, he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

“I promise.” He wouldn’t break his hand as long as he never broke his heart.

Now.

He was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid, and he didn’t lack self-awareness. He knew how to bottle his feelings into a jar, create a vacuum seal, and tuck them away on a shelf. The thing was, he also knew eventually he had to deal with the things he compartmentalized.

It had been a month since Joey died. He’d been putting it off. But today…

The bleeding heart had wilted.

The jar fell to the floor and shattered, his heart disintegrating into a million shards with it.

A watering can joined the broken glass on the floor, before he knew what was happening, he was running from Joey’s garden, not knowing where he was going, not sure of his surroundings. His vision narrowed, relying on muscle memory and reflex to avoid crashing.

Crashing was a good way to describe this.

He was right there. Looked Joey in the eyes. Watched him become twisted and never even noticed that his beloved friend was going through things no one should ever go through, slowly destroyed from within, suffocating from a painfully sluggish death before Slade made the final move.

“FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCK!” Birds flapped away as he screamed at the sky, at the world for letting this happen. Joey never knew – he never told him – was too scared that this would – that he would –

WHY DID THINGS HURT SO MUCH HE SWORE NOT TO LOVE ANYONE LIKE HER AGAIN-

*CRACK*

He broke a tree, feeling bone snap against splintered bark.

He froze, staring at his right pinky, and laughed.

So much for promises.

Laughs turned to sobs, knees buckling as he fell to the forest floor – sitting on his heels before flopping to his back. Staring up at the baby blue sky, cumulus clouds drifted by without a care in the world, laughing at him, mocking him from the high heavens.

Tears flowed freely, nature as the only witness.

His heart wasn’t supposed to break like this, he’d locked it away long ago, he wasn’t supposed to care about people like this anymore, that wasn’t in the fucking plan. He’d restrained himself, time and time again, turned down offers, avoided hanging out – he did everything he was supposed to do to not fall in love again.

And absolutely none of it mattered.

Love had mattered – fuck love for being like this – fuck Bruce for making him believe he could live like him – fuck the world – fuck Joey – fuck Kor’i – fuck everything. Fuck whoever he was supposed to be, his training, his painstaking control of his emotions.

He pounded the ground with his good hand, promises could be broken, but he wouldn’t break – not today – he didn’t have time. He could be dead today, next week, fuck – half the Titans were dead, Jason was dead, he couldn’t waste time like this - his life was going to be short.

His life was going to fucking short and he needed to pull himself together – he had family to get back to. He had people he loved – if his heart was going to break anyways – he was so FUCKING stupid.

Drowning in regret, he slammed the ground again, hard enough for the shockwaves to jar his broken hand. Feeling pain was better than feeling this – because fuck – fuck – he loved Joey. He loved Joey and Kor’i and they were both gone and nothing was okay anymore. Joey never even knew. Never even knew – and it was all his fault – and he never knew how much he mattered – never knew how when he smiled it everything around him dulled in comparison or how when they talked it was like he had known him his all life.

He never knew.

And would never know.

He focused on taking painful breaths sobbing himself silly, laughing till he couldn’t breathe, and crying until he couldn’t feel. Time passed in a vacuum, hysteria waxing and waning until he ran out of tears to cry.

He rolled over, pressing himself up, wiping his face on his shirt, ignoring the familiar pain creeping up his arm.

He made a new promise because well, fuck the last one didn’t work out so he might as well start over. Giant pines towered over him standing tall as silent witnesses. He swore on the living along with the dead, any that would listen really – he didn’t care - he couldn’t keep living like this.

“Whoever I love will know.” He whispered the words as a sacred oath, finding an odd sense of solace. He paused, letting the words hang in the air as if imbuing them with some sort of power.

Stumbling forward, he made his way back home.

#bad things happen bingo #titans #batfam #ntt #dick grayson #joey wilson #koriand'r #dickkory #dickjoey #tw heartbreak #nightwing #discowing era lol #my writing

9 notes · View notes

skyeblue379 · 4 years ago

Text

So let’s talk about the newest episode of WandVision there is of course a spoiler warning from this point on

First let’s talk about theories disproved

So the town is made up of the citizens of westview( as far as we know ) the fact the several citizens actors such as the milkman, mailman , and “norm” were shields of agents in previous movies is a conciedence

It’s looking like Anges is a regular citizen not Agatha Harkness, who in the comics was one of the original witches of Salem, a mentor of scarlet witch who was eventually killed by her when she went crazy and almost destroyed the multiverse, but as she was not one the citizens who was identified there is still a chance but we’ll have to wait and see

Okay so let’s talk about what still up in the air theory wise and what we do know thus far

Let’s talk about Mephisto

i still believe that this is how Marvel is choosing to introduce him since he plays an important part in wandas story arch in the comics ( for those who don’t know Wanda creates the twins using a bit of his power/soul and he arranges for them to be stolen by his minion Master pandemonium who uses them as Arms to try and regain Mephisto’s stolen power ( yes you read that right the 80s were wild)

I still believe that he is the one orchestrating everything behind the scenes but I have a new theory on who he is or at least one I have seen but I’m sure is out there cause let’s be honest I’m not that creative lol

I think during the aftermath of the snap Mephisto took advantage of the chaos to take the identity of Hayward the new leader of SWORD

Think about he could’ve seen that there was a chance to take power in the upcoming new agency and knowing marvel they might pull an ego, he might’ve had a had in hand in Maria’s death to make sure that he got control of SWORD and to have Monica have a personal investment in this fight

If we go with this theory that explains why he seems to have vendetta to make out Wanda as the villain and dangerous and why we didn’t see the “ footage “ of Wanda stealing visions body my guess is he is trying to alienate wanda from everyone else so she’ll have no where to turn

The reason I think this isn’t entirely wanda is because while in the comics Wanda is one of the most powerful mutants in the entire multi-verse thus far in the mcu she hasn’t shown that level of power and while I would LOVE if they gave Wanda the power and recognition she deserves I don’t think that’s going to happen given The writers treatment Of the marvel women so far and if given the chance they will make the all powerful villain who manipulating the poor defenseless female who couldn’t help but fall for his evil schemes * cue southern lady hand to forehead swoon*(oh I’m going to piss off some fanboys with that one lol) but really think about it Hollywood as a whole doesn’t like bestowing the mantle of most powerful on women or POC especially in action movies which , whether or not you want to admit it , as a genre is engineered to please cisgender straight white men but that’s a whole other debate and I’m already going off enough tangents as is

I don’t think that it was wanda who left the boundary or if it was I don’t think it was entirely of her own volition I think it was a tactic to further villify Wanda in the eyes of SWORD and cementing the distrust of her by them so Hayward can weaponize SWORD against Wanda and Vision

Expanding on that based on what We’ve seen so far from the eps and the previews it’s going to end up being a battle between SWORD/ Mesphisto who is manipulating everything and everyone to make it seem like it’s Wanda controling the town against Wanda and Vision, with the help of Darcy, agent Jimmy Woo, and Monica after they begin to realize what’s happening

Moving on to Wandas role

So I agree with Visions assement that while Wanda Wasn’t initially consciously aware of what was going on she “ woke up “ at some point is now actively manipulating her surroundings and while she doesn’t want to directly hurt anyone as evident by her protecting Monica while sending her flying through walls and the barrier which could’ve killed her but should’ve at least broken a several bones but she came out with out a scratch

We can see that she knows what she’s doing is wrong but the looks of guilt when confronted with what she is doing she is trying to make sure the citizens are living as normal as possible as seen when she mentions making sure they mow their lawns and make it to their dentist appts and she thinks by controling them she’s making it easier on them but she knows it’s wrong like for example when billy and tommy ask her to bring sparky back to life the look on her face when she tells them there are certain things you can’t mess with and Vision walking up right as she says that I’m guessing within the next couple of episodes she admit to herself that what is happening is wrong

The Twins

So far in the series we see that Billy and Tommy at least posses some of their mother’s power as seen as they can age up seemingly by will power

In the comics billy becomes Wiccan , who takes after his mother’s powers and tommy is speed who inherited his uncles super speed but we have yet to see if these powers will transfer into the show

Side note if they try and change wiccans or speeds sexualities which in the comics wiccan was canonically gay and in a long term relationship hulking, who he eventually married , and Speed who was bisexual and in a relationship with prodigy I will riot

I’m guessing that mephisto is going to take the twins leading to Wanda joining dr strange in his show traveling the multi-verse in trying to find them or some version of them since we can only assume that’s how they are introducing the introducing mutants to the mcu

Speaking of introducing mutants to the MCU

So at the very end of the episode they get a surprise visitor- quicksilver (which several ppl saw coming ) we see that the X-mans Quicksilver arrive at the door

While I am glad that they are reintroducing Quicksilver as his early death was my biggest problem with age of ultron, we will have to wait and see how this pans out in regards to the series as a whole

When we hear the knock we are being lead to assume same as vision that it is another diversion by Wanda which we’ve seen her do several times at this point she seems as confused as he is so I don’t think he’s appeared by her powers proven by the fact when he introduces himself as her brother she’s visibly thrown and understandably confused before hugging him

My guess is that Mephisto( who in the comics also has the power to manipulate reality tho not on the scale that scarlet witch does which is why he needs her) brought him in to distract Wanda and Vision from discovering the truth

Now we can only assume that because of his appearance that other X-men and ppl from that universe will make an appearance in the mcu but to what extent we can’t be sure yet it will largely depend on what actors agree to resign on to their contracts to continue playing their characters so we can assume that Wolverine will not be making an appearance as Hugh jackman has previously stated that he will not be reprising the role but with everyone else’s we will have to wait and see

Let me know what you guys think what you agree or disagree with, further theories etc

EDIT: I apologize it’s been almost a decade since I’ve read the series of comics feature the storyline that WandaVision were based off it was pointed to me by @Hapllucigenia123 that there were a few inaccuracies in my post

the guy with the baby arms was master pandemonium who while he was working under the direction of Mephisto is not him

the twins were made purely out of fractions of Mephistos soul in the comics and he arranged them for them to be kidnapped in order to regain the power he had lost

This doesn’t change my theories much since I don’t believe they are going to have master pandemonium appear in the series because he was a middle man and the writers are going to probably have a bigger villain name to help draw in more views.( also don’t think theyre going to have anyone use the twins as arms cause I don’t see it being taken seriously in this day and age but imagine the memes if they did lol but I will go back and fix the information when I can thank you again @hapllucigenia123 who can also be found in the comments if the tags don’t work

31 notes · View notes

aqua-murphys-law · 4 years ago

Text

when it rains

Rating: K+ Warnings: panic attacks, breakdowns, self-depreciating thoughts Summary:

i’m only honest when it rains if i time it right, the thunder breaks when i open my mouth i wanna tell you but i don’t know how

~*~

With a life like Milo’s, it’s only a matter of time before he can’t just grin and bear it anymore. Some times are less convenient than others.

A/N: This started out as a purely self-indulgent “let Milo get angry and upset” whump fic, but hooooo boy there’s a lot to unpack now. My headcanons just will not give me a break. But hey, y’all get a +6k word fic out of the deal, so enjoy!

Check replies for a link to read on A03 for full tags, cause Tumblr hates links apparently! - Aqua

~*~

Of all the ways Milo Murphy has traveled to school, clinging to the top of a runaway ice cream stand that’s surfing a massive wave of pistachios is certainly one of the more palatable ones.

Hah, palatable- he almost makes the joke out loud, but between Zack’s screaming and Melissa’s shrieking laughter and the roar of wind and veering traffic in their ears, they probably won’t hear him. He files that pun away for later and turns his focus to their inevitable stopping; there’s a fountain up ahead that’s about the right height.

Adjusting his grip, Milo climbs over to the side of the stand, throwing its weight to the left. That changes its trajectory just enough to crash right into the fountain, tipping them and all the stand’s contents over into the small ocean of pistachios below. It’s like falling into a ball pit- if the balls in ball pits were tiny green nuts with miscellaneous ice cream sundae ingredients scattered about. Either way, it’s a soft enough landing, and the momentum carries them further down the road before the ground flattens out and they finally roll to a stop.

As fate would have it, the tidal wave of debris has carried them right to the school crosswalk, minutes before first bell. There’s a small group of their classmates waiting to cross, gaping at the wreckage. Milo picks himself out of the mess and dusts his knees off before helping Zack to his feet.

“Watch out for the banana peels,” Milo cautions. “They’re just as slippery in real life as they are in cartoons.”

Zack catches his breath. “Dude, that was kinda awesome.”

Milo’s heart swells happily, and he grins. “I’d say that’s one of our most palatable adventures yet.”

Zack’s eyes light up as he catches on, nudging Milo with his elbow. “It sherbet was!”

“No puns this early in the morning,” Melissa groans, picking pistachios out of her hair.

Milo digs a brush out of his backpack and hands it to her. “Sorry, Melissa,” he says good-naturedly.

“Yeah, sorry,” Zack says, “we know you don’t… cone-done that behavior.”

Milo hides a laugh behind his hand while Melissa lightly punches Zack’s arm before continuing to brush out the pistachios. Then he takes a second to look over the damage again, double-checking no one got caught in the crossfire. It’s a good thing the stand hadn’t been open yet when that freighter full of pistachios exploded-

“Stop! Milo.”

Milo looks over at the familiar voice, smiling. “Hi, Elliot.”

As always, the crossing guard is brandishing his stop sign at them. His attention seems to be split between staring at Milo and staring at the heap of food in the street.

Melissa rolls her eyes. “We’re already stopped,” she points out, passing the brush back to Milo. “You know, just a group of middle school kids, waiting for the crossing guard to help them cross the street?”

“Yeah,” Zack adds, “your job?”

Elliot makes a disbelieving sound. “What, the giant mountain of walnuts hasn’t stopped traffic enough as it is?”

“Actually, they’re pistachios,” Milo says helpfully, tucking the brush away. “And sure, but it’s really best to wait for authorized personnel to formally halt the flow of traffic using proper signage instead of taking your chances.”

“I know that!” Elliot protests, sounding irritable. He holds the stop sign out, gesturing with his other hand for them all to cross. “Alright, move it along, people…”

Milo is happy to do so, leaving Elliot’s grumbling behind. It’s always a good morning when he actually makes it to school, and on time. Walking beside him, Melissa’s already whipped her phone out to share the pictures she took during all the excitement, snickering at the way Zack’s eyes widen. Milo chuckles to himself; how she manages to get such incredible shots, he’ll never know.

They reach the sidewalk on the other side without incident. He can hear the echoes of sirens from responding emergency vehicles starting up across town and knows they’ll be at the scene in a couple minutes. That makes him feel better about heading inside before they arrive, though he laments the fact that he won’t get to thank them personally-

“You know, Murphy, these catastrophes would be a lot more bearable if you took them seriously.”

Milo pauses, tilting his head. Melissa and Zack are already frowning at Elliot, but he wants to make sure he’s accurately identified the disdain in Elliot’s voice and isn’t just missing sarcasm again.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

Elliot folds his arms with a huff, his stop sign sticking out at an angle. “I mean, you walk around with that grin on your face, brushing everything off like it’s no big deal.” He scowls at Milo over his glasses. “Do you even care about all the chaos you leave in your wake?”

Milo blinks, his smile faltering. Is that the impression people get from him?

Zack steps forward. “Hey man, back off,” he snaps at Elliot.

“Yeah,” Melissa chimes in, folding her arms, “you’re just bitter because people keep assuming you’re in your thirties.” She jerks her chin over at the doors. “Come on, Milo.”

Milo manages to smile again, but it feels strained. “Elliot, I can assure you that I understand the severity of Murphy’s Law,” he says carefully, moving to follow Melissa up the rest of the stairs.

“Well, you certainly don’t act like it,” Elliot gripes after them, a parting jab.

Milo should let it go, he knows he should. This is just how Elliot is; there’s no way somebody so pathologically obsessed with safety would ever see Milo as anything more than a hazard. But this is more than simply placing blame on him for Murphy’s Law. That, he’s used to. He can handle that.

What he can’t stand for is the implication that he doesn’t care when people get hurt. Not when he works so hard to avoid it- often at the expense of his own wellbeing. If he only worried about himself, Murphy’s Law would be exponentially easier to deal with. Most people don’t realize that.

He stops walking, turning to look Elliot dead in the eye. “What’s the alternative?” he asks, his face blank and voice held carefully neutral.

Elliot’s clearly surprised at the question. He hesitates, shooting a wary look at Melissa and Zack, before he manages a shrug. “I don’t know, just some indication that you’re actually sorry for everything going wrong all the time?”

Milo’s grip on his backpack goes white-knuckled. “You think I should feel sorry?” he asks quietly.

Elliot flounders for a second. “I, uh… well, yes?”

It’s one thing for Milo to impulsively feel responsible for any destruction caused by Murphy’s Law, before he can remind himself that it’s not his fault. But it’s another thing entirely for someone to tell him that he should feel that way, all the time.

“What would you like me to do?” he presses. “Walk around with my head hung low, overcome with guilt every time Murphy’s Law happens? Apologize constantly when the majority of the people in my life have been dealing with it for years? Or- or beat myself up over something I can’t change or control?”

Elliot’s eyes widen, his brows shooting up to his hairline. “Now listen, that’s not exactly what I said-”

“But it’s what you meant, right?” Milo asks in a voice he doesn’t recognize. It’s white-hot with anger, and he can feel the glare that’s drawing his eyebrows down into a point, the way it’s narrowing his eyes. It’s an unfamiliar expression.

Oh, this is dangerous territory. Anger isn’t safe; it clouds the mind and fosters rash decisions, preventing one from thinking clearly. He can’t afford to have his judgement skewed, his reaction time hampered by the distraction of wrestling emotions under control. Not here, when there’s so many people around who could get hurt by his inability to act if something were to happen.

Melissa tugs Milo by the arm, trying to pull him away. “Milo, come on, he’s not worth it,” she says, her voice low and urgent.

The concern in her voice pricks at him. He’s aware, to some degree, that they’ve attracted an audience; the other kids that crossed with them are lingering, whispering to each other. He’s aware that his heart is starting to race and his skin feels flushed, the unpleasant physical effects of anger. And he’s especially aware of Zack’s gaze on him, what he must be thinking of the whole situation.

But Milo abruptly finds that he doesn’t care. Maybe that should concern him, too.

Elliot holds up his hands, something akin to panic flashing across his face. “Hey, look, I didn’t-”

“If I let myself feel bad every time Murphy’s Law happened, I’d never stop,” Milo says sharply. “Do you realize that? You’re only exposed to Murphy’s Law in the brief moments I’m around you. But for me, it never ends. It doesn’t have a weekly schedule, it doesn’t take days off. It doesn’t even stop when I’m asleep. And I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life.”

A horrible silence follows, even Elliot seeming lost for words.

Chills erupt across Milo’s skin. The fiery anger inside him suddenly extinguishes, leaving him cold and hollow. He’s struck with the realization that in his lashing out, he’s only just upset himself more. Because he doesn’t like to think about the future, about how everything he’s experienced so far in his short life is just the tip of the iceberg, and there he goes, now he’s thinking about it-

Something wet runs down his cheek.

Instinctively, Milo looks up to find the source. But there aren’t any clouds in the sky threatening a sudden downpour, no leaky pipes or anything else to drip water on him. Brows knitting in confusion, he absently reaches a hand up to his face.

Then his eyes start to sting as his vision blurs, and it hits him.

He’s crying.

… he’s crying?

A sound gets choked in his throat, something that sounds suspiciously like a whimper. Horror sweeps through him but it’s rapidly being outdone by the overwhelming hysteria.

Oh no. No, no, no, he can’t be crying, not here. He stumbles away from Elliot, his backpack hitting the stair railing with a soft thud, and presses the heels of his palms against his burning eyes. Stop, stop, stop! Colors bloom behind his closed lids, intensifying as he increases the pressure until it’s almost painful, desperately willing the tears to go away.

He’s not supposed to be crying at school. If there’s anything more distracting than anger, it’s crying. There are too many people around him, something could go wrong at any second and he won’t be able to protect them like this- something could be going wrong right now and he won’t notice because he’s too busy falling to pieces.

Panic kicks in, and the harsh echo in his ears tells him he’s hyperventilating. That’s definitely not helping, but the part of him that realizes this is remarkably absent, like he’s become disconnected from his own body.

The rest of him is pretty sure he’s about to die. And not in the way he’s familiar with.

Two hands circle his wrists, pulling them down from his eyes in a grip that’s gentle yet firm. Melissa’s face swims into focus.

~*~

Melissa searches Milo’s face, her heart sinking.

“Milo?” she tries. “You okay?”

Milo doesn’t respond, but he squeezes his eyes shut, sending a few more tears streaking down his face. She can feel his pulse jumping under the scarred skin of his wrists. His heartbeat, normally so steady, is running fast and erratic.

Something is very wrong.

“Woah, uh, is he okay?” Elliot asks, alarmed.

“You don’t get to talk,” Melissa hisses at him before turning back to Milo. It’s incredibly hard to push her anger down, but she has to, for his sake. “Milo,” she says, softer, “it’s me. You’re alright. We’re gonna go somewhere else, okay?”

Milo still doesn’t respond, but he curls a little closer to her. Melissa takes a second to shoot a warning look at the other kids gathered around. “Give us some space,” she orders them. And then, “Zack, you’re with me.”

They must hear the barely restrained fury in her voice, because the doors are cleared in record time. Zack unfreezes and swiftly places himself on the other side of Milo, his hands fidgeting like he isn’t sure what to do with them.

Gently, Melissa starts leading Milo up the stairs, into the school. Thankfully, he follows. He seems to be in a daze, too focused on his internal panic to take notice of what’s going on around him. Melissa is suddenly very grateful that she and Zack are here, because if Milo were alone in such a state, he wouldn’t be able to protect himself from any Murphy’s Law incidents.

Speaking of Zack, the other boy has moved slightly in front of them, paving a way through the various students still lingering in the halls before class.

“Where to?” he asks over his shoulder, voice tight with worry.

“Somewhere quiet and out of the way.”

“Under the stairwell?”

Melissa follows Zack’s gaze to the stairwell before nodding swiftly. They make a beeline for it, swerving only to avoid a ceiling tile that drops out of its frame above them. She catches the edge of it with her shoe and sends it skidding along the floor, out of the way. Serves it right.

She ducks under the stairwell, careful to pull Milo down after her so he doesn’t hit his head. The little alcove is a bit dusty, but it’s quiet and away from prying eyes, so it’ll do. She shrugs her backpack off and sits against the wall, taking Milo’s weight.

He leans on her heavily, like he doesn’t have the energy to hold himself upright. She’s tempted to slip off his backpack as well, since that’s probably accounting for a third of his weight right now, but she knows that would only make him panic further.

He’s still breathing way too fast for her liking, blinking rapidly to try and fight back tears. The glassy look in his eyes is so unlike him, it makes her heart clench painfully.

Zack’s voice hovers anxiously somewhere above her. “Has this happened before?”

“Not in public,” Melissa answers shortly. Then she swallows hard and forces her voice to come out calm and gentle. “Hey Milo, you with me?”

It takes a second for Milo to find her eyes, trembling all the while.

Melissa holds his gaze, pouring as much reassurance into it as she can. “Good, that’s good. Zack’s here with us. Is that alright?”

Milo doesn’t look over at Zack, but he manages a nod.

“Okay,” Melissa murmurs. She takes a quick look to make sure no one’s wandering by the stairwell before turning back to Milo. “We’re alone now, just us three. We’re safe.” She takes a deep breath. “Go ahead.”

Milo’s face crumples. “Melissa-”

He finally breaks, burying his face in her shoulder. His sobs are partially muffled by her jacket- which is quickly becoming damp- but she can feel the force of each one, the way his chest heaves for breath. He holds her arms like his life depends on it, pressing close to her as if he’s trying to hide away from the world.

Even though she’s preparing herself for it, hearing him cry brings a fresh wave of tears to her own eyes. Stubbornly, she stares up at the ceiling until they recede. She can’t break down right now. Milo needs her.

Think about something else, something funny. Like how great it’s going to feel to get Elliot back for this. There’s a petting zoo service nearby that rents out ducks. If she places an order soon, she could probably get them before Monday. How many ducks is too many, she wonders?

“So hey, uh, what’s going on?” Zack’s low murmur brings her out of the daydream. He’s looking at Milo with a stricken expression. “Is he going to be okay?”

Melissa exhales, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face. “He will be,” she says softly. “He’s just overwhelmed.”

Zack runs a hand through his hair. “Is- is there anything I can do?” he asks helplessly.

There isn’t much, but she can tell just from looking at him that his anxiety is skyrocketing right now, on the verge of his own panic attack. Giving him something, anything else to focus on might help.

“Keep people off us, and watch for any trouble,” Melissa decides.

It’s strange to think that she’s only known this boy for a few months, yet she’d trust him with hers and Milo’s wellbeing. But Zack’s proven he can handle Murphy’s Law, and she knows he’ll protect them with everything he’s got.

She’s proven right when Zack’s expression hardens, and he nods. Turning around, he goes to stand at the mouth of the alcove, blocking her and Milo from view of the hallway. His hands twitch at his sides, ready to act. Just like that.

Not for the first time, Melissa is thankful that Zack became their friend. Milo chose well.

And speaking of Milo, the panic seems to have finally ebbed. Now it’s just regular crying, without the hyperventilating and shaking. The knot in her stomach loosens, but only slightly- they aren’t out of the woods yet.

Gently, she drums her fingers along his spine, beating a soothing rhythm against the body armor he wears under his clothes. The muffled thuds are too light for him to feel; it’s really just so he has a sound to focus on. She’s found that helps, in the past.

But she doesn’t try to shush him. Now that he’s actually crying, he needs to get it all out. She tries to imagine that her arms around Milo are a safety net, allowing him to be vulnerable without fear. She hopes he can pick up on it.

The next several minutes pass in relative calm- if holding your friend while he has a breakdown can be considered calm. A couple times, Melissa catches wind of something going on in the hallway, some likely improbable object coming their way. But thanks to Zack’s vigilance, nothing comes close, letting her focus all her attention on Milo.

It’s not long after second bell when Milo starts to come back to himself. His grip on her arms tightens and then immediately slackens, and the next breath he takes is a deep one, though it shudders on the exhale.

There are a couple moments where Milo is still and quiet, just the occasional sniffle as his breathing evens out. Then he pulls back enough to look at Melissa, his eyes red and teary but no longer vacant.

“Melissa?” he breathes, his voice small.

Melissa lets out a sigh of relief, managing a tired smile. “There you are.”

“Hey, buddy.” As relieved as Melissa feels, Zack sounds about a hundred times more so. He kneels down next to them, his hand once again awkwardly hovering over Milo’s shoulder before retreating. “How you feeling?”

Milo glances around, taking in their surroundings. Melissa can almost see the moment realization hits; his mouth presses into a tight line before he looks away, wiping at his eyes. “Guys, I- I am so sorry-”

“Don’t you dare,” Melissa cuts him off sternly.

Milo swallows hard, tucking his knees to his chest. “But it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have lost my cool back there,” he mumbles guiltily. “It was just Elliot being, y- you know, Elliot, and I got-”

“Rightfully upset,” Melissa finishes for him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, dude, you’ve got nothing to apologize for,” Zack agrees.

Milo’s smile is thin, but his eyes are thoughtful. Melissa hopes they’ve gotten through to him. She isn’t going to push it any more, though, not right now.

“Now, c’mon, let’s get off the floor,” she says, straightening up. “My legs are falling asleep.”

Milo accepts the hand she offers him, letting her pull him up and out from under the stairwell. He looks a little shaky on his feet, his face still paler than normal, but he jolts when he notices the clock.

“Oh no, we’re late for first period. We’d better-”

“Nuh uh.” Melissa holds fast to his arm. “After a bout like that, you need to go home and rest.”

Milo hesitates. “I miss so much school already…”

Melissa shakes her head. “Doesn’t matter. Mental health days are included under excused absences, you know. We’ll let the teachers know and grab your homework for you.”

“Seriously, it’s alright,” Zack says softly.

Milo studies them both before nodding. “Okay,” he relents. “Thanks.”

Melissa whips out her phone to text his mom. As she does so, she notices Milo is starting to lean against Zack for support. The other boy doesn’t seem to mind, his arm automatically shifting around Milo’s shoulders. It seems his earlier reservations are gone, now that Milo’s sought out the contact. It’s a cute sight.

“Alright,” Melissa tucks her phone away, “your mom’s on her way over. I asked her to meet us in the back lot, just in case the jerk-who-shall-not-be-named is still skulking around.”

Milo nods slightly, giving her a grateful smile before his gaze lowers again.

Now that he’s given up on toughing out the day, he’s starting to withdraw. He doesn’t always go nonverbal after a crying spell, but the panic attack has to have done a number on him.

They aren’t common for Milo, panic attacks. Melissa knows his stress response is… highly abnormal. Even before she met him, he’d been living in a constant state of stress for years. She’s not sure if he’s learned to tune it out, or if his body has just stopped responding to common stressors by this point. But she knows he rarely gets a physical reaction to danger, that ‘fight or flight’ response that spikes you up with adrenaline.

This is clearly a different ball game. The only time she can recall anything remotely similar to this happening was the first time she got seriously hurt by Murphy’s Law. And it didn’t even happen on the spot; he hadn’t broken down until visiting her in the hospital after the fact.

That was a long time ago, but it left quite the impression. The hyperventilating and shaking, she remembers. And that distant, glassy expression. It was something she hoped she’d never have to witness again, but of course, life has other plans.

Not that she blames Milo for it. After all, however difficult this is for her, it’s much, much worse for him. Losing control of his emotions hits him hard, because his life is already so out of control as it is. The one thing he should always have control over is himself, but he doesn’t.

And even though she’s long since made peace with the idea that life isn’t fair, this feels particularly, especially unfair. With all the danger Murphy’s Law brings, Milo shouldn’t have to deal with guilt, judgmental crossing guards, or a misplaced sense of responsibility so severe that he feels like he isn’t even allowed to cry.

Her expression must be troubled, because Milo lightly bumps against her arm. By the time she looks over, he’s already averted his gaze again- eye contact is probably a bit much for him right now- but she appreciates the gesture anyways.

‘Don’t worry,’ he seems to be saying.

Well… she can try not to, for his sake.

~*~

Zack can’t help stealing glances at Milo as they make their way down the hall.

He knows he shouldn’t be staring, because Milo doesn’t seem too keen on eye contact at the moment. It’s just hard to resist the urge to check up on him. Most of Zack’s focus was on keeping Murphy’s Law at bay, so he couldn’t really keep tabs on how the situation was going.

He can’t shake how jarring it was to see Milo like that. It’s a very good thing Melissa was there to snap him into action, because if she hadn’t, he probably would’ve just stood there frozen like a complete idiot, not helping the situation at all.

And how sad is that? Milo saves Zack over and over again, every time disaster strikes, but the one time Milo really needs him, Zack’s totally useless.

He should’ve seen that the conversation was going south and shut it down. He should’ve stood up for Milo more, or tried to get him out of the situation. He should’ve-

There’s a slight tug at the hem of his shirt. When he turns his head, he finds Milo’s hand gripping there. Not pulling, or trying to get his attention- Milo’s facing straight ahead, eyes downcast. Just, holding. Whether it’s an attempt to give comfort or receive it, Zack’s not sure.

But it does give him something else to focus on, aside from the spiraling thoughts in his head, and he smiles softly. Just in case Milo can see it out of the corner of his eye.

It’s a good reminder; there’s no point in dwelling on the past. He needs to keep moving forward, like Milo does.

They reach the back doors without issue, and are greeted by an empty parking lot. Fortunately, there aren’t any late stragglers- aside from them, of course. It’s a nice day, not too cold, so Zack doesn’t mind waiting a few minutes. Maybe the fresh air will help Milo. It’s certainly helping Zack.

He lets out a deep breath, feeling a little better for it. Milo settles further against his side while they wait, his cheek pressed against Zack’s shoulder. That steals the breath Zack just got back, but that’s the least of his concerns right now.

He’s not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed when Mrs. Murphy’s car pulls into the lot. Milo perks up a bit, though still remains silent as his mother exits the car. She takes in Milo’s current state with no comment, just a sad, knowing look in her eyes, and Zack wonders if this is more common than he realized.

“You ready to go, honey?” she asks kindly.

Milo hesitates for a second, then turns and abruptly gives a hug to the both of them. It’s a quick thing, but Zack feels his face heat up immediately; Milo’s never hugged him before. And that thought is followed by his heart swelling almost painfully, because Milo’s never hugged him before. With that context, it’s a deeply touching gesture.

After stepping away, Milo darts over to his mom, hiding his face in her side. She smooths a hand over his hair, murmuring something too low for Zack to hear, before smiling at them gratefully. “Thanks, you two.”

“No problem, Mrs. Murphy,” Melissa replies. “Feel better soon, Milo.”

“Yeah, take it easy,” Zack calls after them.

The car pulls away, and Zack can see Diogee clambering into Milo’s lap before they’re out of view. That makes him feel a little better. Still, he sends a quick prayer to the universe that the car ride goes smoothly, without any Murphy’s Law incidents. Milo really deserves a break.

Next to him, Melissa stands motionless, watching the car leave. Zack clears his throat. “Well, we should probably head back…”

Melissa shakes her head, sitting down on the steps. “First period’s already half-over by now, no point in going.” She shrugs. “Plus, we need to talk this out, or it’ll turn into one of those weird unspoken things.”

“Oh.” Hesitantly, Zack sits down next to her. If Melissa is willing to play hooky, it must be important. “Alright, then.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, listening to the sounds of distant traffic. He’d been expecting Melissa to start the conversation, but she seems to be waiting for him, instead. Waiting to see what his reaction is.

It hadn’t taken long for Melissa to go from ‘Milo’s only other friend’ to ‘Milo and Zack’s friend.’ Once she warmed up to him, she’d moved right along to acting like they’d known each other for years. But they certainly haven’t had any deep, serious discussions before. He’s not quite sure how to proceed.

Zack rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward. “So, uh… that happened.”

“Yep.” Melissa exhales heavily, but her expression is sympathetic. “I’m sorry you weren’t more prepared, it’s just that he tries to handle these things privately.”

Zack frowns. “These things? What do you mean?”

Melissa stares out over the parking lot, her brows knit together. “Milo breaks bones on a monthly basis. He comes away with some kind of injury on a near-daily basis. And the constant threat of danger plus the massive amount of effort required to deal with it would be enough to drive anyone to tears.”

“And…?” Zack prompts, confused.

Melissa glances at him out of the side of her eye. “Before now, have you ever seen him cry?”

Zack opens his mouth to reply, ‘Of course I have!’ because surely it would’ve happened at some point. He knows Milo gets hurt frequently, he’s watched it happen. But as he thinks about it, he can’t actually recall a time when tears were involved. Not even for broken bones.

“I… woah, you’re right,” Zack realizes, his stomach dropping.

Melissa nods grimly. “He doesn’t like crying. Says it messes with his ability to react to Murphy’s Law. So he just… doesn’t let himself cry, most of the time, no matter how hurt he gets. It’s been like that for as long as I’ve known him.”

It takes a second for the full implications to hit Zack. “Wait, didn’t you guys meet when you were six?”

“Yep.”

“Oh.” Zack swallows. They might be old enough now that crying isn’t as common, but Milo’s been like this since he was six, possibly younger. Zack himself was a bit of a crybaby at that age, even a skinned knee sending him into hysterics.

And sure, maybe it’s embarrassing to look back on, but that’s normal for little kids.

Milo didn’t get to have that.

“That’s… kinda sad,” Zack murmurs.

“I know,” Melissa sighs. “Of course, he can’t bottle it up forever. And crying is an important chemical release, it’s healthy. So he just puts it off until he’s safe at home, usually on a weekend. That way, he’s got his family there to look out for him, and he doesn’t have to worry about anyone else getting caught up in Murphy’s Law. I’ve only been there for a handful of them, but he probably goes for months in between. It’s… a lot of buildup.”

The pieces are starting to fall into place. Zack inhales sharply. “So, when he does finally let himself cry…”

Melissa gives him a thin smile. “Well, you know what they say. When it rains, it pours.” She wraps her arms around herself. “But this time was worse than normal, because he was having a panic attack on top of it. He really didn’t want to break down at school.”

Zack nods slowly, brows furrowing. “Wow. I had no idea.”

Melissa makes a noncommittal noise. “It’s not your fault, he doesn’t like people to know.”

Alarm shoots through Zack. This is a deeply personal aspect of Milo’s life. What if he wasn’t ready for Zack to see it? What if Zack’s intruding?

Melissa must have noticed the panic on his face, because she waves him off. “Don’t worry, him letting you stay was giving permission for me to tell you this. Just, people, in general. He puts a lot of work into staying upbeat all the time, and he doesn’t want that ruined by something like this.”

Zack chews on his lip, only slightly relieved. Quite a few people saw the beginning of the whole thing. “Is he gonna be okay? I know it was just some kids from class, but…”

“I think he will be,” Melissa says thoughtfully. “He’s been branching out a lot more this year, in terms of making friends.” She smiles faintly at him. “We’ve got you to thank for that.”

The sudden diverge throws Zack for a loop. “What do you mean?”

Melissa leans back on her elbows, contemplative. “I mean, if Milo and I started a band last year, Mort wouldn’t have dreamed of joining. If we’d been crazy enough to have a birthday party, no one would’ve come. For as long as all of us here can remember, Milo’s just had me. But seeing you give him a chance… I don’t know, I think it’s helped them realize they don’t have to stay so far away.”

Zack’s stunned. “I… guess I hadn’t thought about it.”

That’s an understatement. Zack found his place so readily within this new school that he hadn’t stopped to consider what things had been like before. He knows Milo didn’t have any close friends aside from Melissa, but had the other kids in class always been nothing more than scant acquaintances? Was it new for them to engage Milo in conversation or willingly be around him?

Then Zack thinks back to the day they met, at the bus stop. The way the other kids there had immediately scrambled away from Milo, expressions full of fear. And he’s pretty sure he knows the answer.

Melissa hums. “Yep. You’re a trendsetter.”

Zack rubs his arm, embarrassed. He really doesn’t deserve accolades just for giving Milo a chance. “So… do you cry often?” he ventures, changing the subject.

Melissa rolls her eyes at him. “I’d say a normal amount, for someone in my circumstances. Whenever I’m seriously hurt, you can bet I’m crying about it. Not everyone can just block out that kind of pain.” Her expression sobers. “But even on the emotional side of things, if there’s ever a particularly rough day, then yeah, I’ll go home and cry it out. It’s a good release.”

“Huh.” Zack scratches his head. “Gotta say, I’m a little surprised. You seem to handle Murphy’s Law so well, you know?”

Melissa snorts. “Yeah, only because I let myself cry every now and them. No one can deal with all that disaster and destruction without it getting to them. Not even Milo.”

“Fair point,” Zack amends.

“So, what about you?” Melissa elbows him. “C’mon, don’t be a hypocrite.”

Zack flushes. “I mean, yeah, sometimes,” he admits. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be friends with Milo, but Murphy’s Law can be… stressful.” Particularly on top of his normal anxiety, but she doesn’t need to know that.

Melissa nods approvingly. “Good. Own it. Being part of a Murphy’s life has its ups and down. It also has its own set of rules.”

“Like what?” Zack asks, tilting his head.

“You need to make sure you relieve stress on a regular basis, whether that’s through crying or something else. And you need to relax on a regular basis, too. Not necessarily in that order,” she adds, as an afterthought.

Zack raises his eyebrows. “Oh, okay. Anything else I should be aware of?”

Melissa counts them off on her fingers. “Stay hydrated, get regular sleep, have a good amount of protein in the diet…”

“That just sounds like normal self-care stuff,” Zack points out flatly.

Melissa squints at him. “Touché.” Then she snaps her fingers. “Gargling salt water can help your throat recover from over-screaming. Oh, and Murphys are legally protected from being discriminated against by an accord written in the early 1900’s, so don’t be afraid to cite it. Also, Milo craves physical affection from those he’s close to, but he doesn’t feel he has the right to ask for it.”

Zack blinks. “Figure all this out yourself?”

“Nah, Mrs. Murphy had some tips.” Melissa’s humor fades. “Seriously though, I noticed your hesitation back there. That’s a good instinct, since plenty of people don’t like to be touched during panic attacks. But you don’t need to worry about it with Milo, that’s one of the few times he actually seeks out comfort.”

Zack jolts with surprise. He hadn’t though Melissa would pick up on that- at the time, he was hardly aware of what he was doing, himself. “Oh, alright then.”

“And just for the record,” Melissa’s expression turns mischievous, “if you were a little more forthcoming with physical affection on a day-to-day basis, I don’t think Milo would mind.”

Zack jumps to his feet like he’s been electrocuted, choking on air. “O- oh, sure, of course. Being close to Milo, I don’t have a problem with that, why would I have a problem with that?” he babbles, feeling his face heat up. “I mean, I don’t not have a problem with it, I mean, not more than the normal amount for two friends-” Okay, Zack, time to shut up now.

Melissa just snickers at him, standing up and dusting off her skirt. “C’mon, it’s about time to head in. Ready for a completely average, boring, uneventful day?”

Zack sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets with a rueful grin. “If we must.”

Maybe it’s not so bad to have a little time to process things, considering how much he has to process.

~*~

Milo’s only been curled up on the couch for a couple hours when his phone buzzes.

It’s a selfie from Melissa, in science class. She’s angled the phone to get Zack in the background of the shot; he’s clearly dozing, eyelids drooping as he rests his chin in his hand. Melissa’s giving the camera a knowing look, and the caption reads, ‘Someone’s missing you!’

Milo’s heart skips a beat. He quickly attributes it to surprise that Melissa is actually texting in class- though he knows she’s just checking in with him. It’s a thoughtful gesture, and he sends a couple emojis back. Words, even in text form, are still hard right now. But he knows she’ll understand, because she and Zack are the best friends a Murphy could ask for.

He’s lucky like that, to not have to weather this storm alone.

~*~

#milo murphy's law #mml #my writing

49 notes · View notes

countessofbiscuit · 4 years ago

Note

What are your Bobasoka headcanons? I've already gone through all of the (criminally little) fic on ao3 and I especially loved Smothered and Covered, and I saw the majority of the fics in the tag were gifted to you so I'm assuming you're the OG shipper. Feel free to essay if you like!!

Thanks for the ask and kind words about that fic :3

Oh, Bobasoka … where to begin? It’s a pairing that’s been bumping around in exchange requests for a few years — I figure it’d be easy for anyone invested in Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones to be compelled by the idea. Lledra used to draw Boba and Ahsoka interacting, and it was probably a few panels of their incredible Destinies comic that set my Bobasoka wheels turning. I’m also drawn to them because their journeys traverse so much canon; there’s not just a sandbox to play in, but a whole goddamn stretch of beach, stretching far out into the horizon ... (#AhsokaLives #BobaSurvived :D)

I have to lead with the proviso that almost everything I write/daydream about/headcanon has a groundsheet of Rexsoka. Ahsoka’s interest in Boba, in my head, is intimately tied up with her attraction to and/or relationship with Rex — or, at the bare minimum, her intimate fellowship with the clones. She went through puberty (maybe with heats!) surrounded by a literal army of handsome, roughly college-aged dudes; that must’ve been a heady mix of heaven and hell. If she didn’t quench her thirst before war’s end and her (eventual) separation from Rex, she’d probably be pretty dehydrated when stumbling across Boba. As for Boba’s attraction to Ahsoka, well ... she’s very pretty, she’s potentially useful, she’s not likely to skewer him in his sleep (+2) on account of being a Jedi (-1), and now she’s the one down on her luck; if he falls in bed with anyone, why not this girl who isn’t afraid of him and stares a lot at his lips?

And Boba is like a hot shipping potato — satisfying, hard to fuck up, goes well (read: makes for an intriguing story) with almost everyone. And I think it has everything to do with his liminality, something he shares with Ahsoka and probably recognizes.

Their neither-this-nor-that-ness overlap in such interesting ways, and they each bring their identity issues to the table — Ahsoka as an on-again, off-again Jedi; Boba as a clone who isn’t a Clone™, a Mandalorian by birth and bearing, but not by the book. At different points in their stories, they identify as different things, and that would affect their headspace and color their view of the other. They wrestle with themselves and each other. Force-user and bounty hunter; privileged topsider and orphaned juvenile delinquent fugitive; GAR commander and outcast clone; Jedi and Mandalorian; Disillusioned veteran and disaffected army brat; Rebellion agent and Imperial contractor.

And as much conflict is baked into these dynamics, it also generates a certain magnetism; and I believe they recognize, on some level, their shared trauma and the symmetry in their experiences. Boba and Ahsoka both have happy childhoods with very little to distress or vex them (beyond the art, I do not jive with Age of Republic: Jango Fett, a Disney-canon comic that not only doubles-down on the Jango-wasn’t-Mando nonsense, but shows him being rather cavalier about Boba’s life); Geonosis happens and their adolescent lives are dominated by war (which is how they came to actively threaten each other as space!secondary-schoolers — whaaaaatf!); they are both dubiously (even wrongfully) imprisoned; and they both suffer alienation and incredible personal loss.

Boba was set apart from the clones before he was even pulled him from the jar, othered and elevated from the beginning. He never bonded with brothers, he does not identify as a clone. And while there are examples of clones making overtures to him, canonically his relationship with them is fraught and probably made worse when he gets banged up in Republic Central at the tender age of eleven or twelve — and of course, Ahsoka is an accessory to this, the second chapter in his tragedy at the hands of the Jedi. He needed help (whether he wanted it or not), it was not given by clones or Jedi alike (hamstrung by bureaucracy, sure, but surely some other means of intervention might have been lobbied for?), and Boba becomes a right teenage disaster, well-balanced only in the sense that he has a chip on both shoulders.

(n.b. Putting my RepComm hat on for a second, I can’t help but sniffle-laugh at the idea that the Alphas watched him get thrown in a maximum-security slammer and were like “Ah, there he is, the feral vod’ika. First time, we’ll let the little snot earn his stripes. Second time, we’ll bust him out and send him on a tough love retreat with A’den or Jaing.”)

Ahsoka, meanwhile, is part-and-parcel of the institutions that Boba sets himself against, even after she too has been cast out by circumstances beyond her control. She grows up in a supportive Jedi community and then spends some seriously formative years with a whole slew of brothers — brothers that should have been Boba’s!

Boba, on the other hand, is a great example of the proverb that a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. (As he tells Hondo, “Why should I help anybody? I’ve got no one.”)

The resentment that must create! But also, later, the quiet empathy too — maybe when Boba’s having one of his better days and Ahsoka’s obviously not.

And all of the above is interesting enough, without also touching upon the wildcard that is Mandalore.

Boba’s relationship with Mandalore .... well, that’s contested in- and out-of-universe and I won’t allow myself to essay overmuch. I subscribe firmly to a Mandalorian Fetts construction of canon, even though Boba must be someone who struggles mightily with Mandalorian identity. He’s raised by a bona fide Mando, a solicitous, loving father who’d have no reason not to pass on his language and beliefs; but at the same time, it takes that village, and when Boba’s clan of two is shattered, he has no one else. The loss of his dad unmoors him from his only anchor to Mandalorian culture and clan.

If Boba had been close to the Cuy’val Dar, one would think he’d have turned to them rather than fall in with Jango’s criminal acquaintances; or maybe the bounty hunters just scooped him up first, and troubled lil’ Boba was shepherded through bereavement by folks who enabled and encouraged him to externalize his anger in a way that gave him a (false) feeling of agency and strength.

Whatever the reasons, Boba does not repatriate himself to Mandalore (much to Fenn Shysa’s melodramatic dismay). He strikes me as a lapsed Mandalorian; he doesn’t exactly follow the creed besides wearing the armor (scavenged? his dad’s sans helmet? canon is confused on this point, but he doesn’t go Mando until the unfinished arcs at the end of TCW, either for lack of stature, lack of armor, or lack of enthusiasm). I feel like if someone rocked up to Boba in a cantina and had the balls to ask “hey, so you a Mandalorian?” Boba would be like “<ominously slow helmet tilt> who’s asking” and never give you a straight answer.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka gets a crash course on Mandalore from none other than someone who, at one point, belonged to a sect that wanted to expunge Jaster’s legacy from the galaxy — and at the very least, had reason to dislike clones. This isn’t the place to explore my Boba/Bo-Katan feelings, but know that they are fathomless, and I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall of that Kom’rk when Bo-Katan gives Ahsoka Mando History 101 with her own special sauce. Ahsoka is probably more up-to-speed on Mandalore than Boba, and at one point, she may even own more beskar than him! (n.b. After the crash, I think one of the first places Rex and Ahsoka bounce is just inside Mando space, to scope out the Sundari situation and maybe try to scramble a signal to Bo-Katan; she’d have the goodwill to at least get them back on their feet if she can’t help them lay low herself. For a variety of reasons worth maybe ficcing down the line, they aren’t successful.)

I don’t really have a concluding statement except, I just think Bobasoka’s neat :) They hit all my depressed-Millennial buttons.

Headcanon by bullet-point isn’t really my style, but this is tumblr so ... tl;dr:

They recognize a lot in each other, even if they’re slow to admit it, if ever. Boba’s a cagey bastard and Ahsoka doesn’t ever like him enough to be emotionally honest.

They bump into each other during Ahsoka’s walkabout(s) ‘cause Coruscant’s Underworld ain’t big enough for the two of them. Without Slave-1, Boba couchsurfs at Nyx Okami’s garage, but he does his laundry at Rafa’s. He might even borrow the Martez’s new, useful friend for a job or two.

Ahsoka eventually matures enough to be sensitive about her use of the Force on and around clones, and she definitely doesn’t use it around Boba. Definitely not during sex.

Boba is privately weirded out every time Ahsoka uses Mando slang she picked up off the clones or the Nite Owls.

Boba absolutely kills Cad Bane in that shoot-out, keeps the hat, and lets Ahsoka have it. She shoves it out the airlock and uses it for target practice.

So many great smut flavours! Hatesex. Acquaintances with benefits. “You’re traumatized and touch-starved and you look just like him/them, and I know how to be gentle and what to do, so maybe we could … ?” They’re both privately comfortable with their bodies and sexuality, but Boba’s got trust issues a parsec long and Ahsoka’s lost confidence; it’s always an awkward affair, but desperation wins out.

They exchange comm codes every time they run into each other, which is kind of pointless because they both use burners.

Ahsoka hitches a ride on Slave-1 more than once. There really is only one bed, so it’s either sleep upright, sleep in a pokey prisoner hold, or sleep with him.

For a few years, Boba can pass as a last-generation clone — the ones that got sold off in bulk units to slavers before Kamino sunk another three years’ food, board, and training into them. Boba pretends he doesn’t notice, easy to really, since he tells himself his helmet is his face. But occasionally, when Ahsoka can convince him there’s profit in it, he agrees to play sleeper agent and assists in liberating a few here and there.

They don’t talk about Aurra Sing.

When an Imp really crosses him, Boba passes on intel to Ahsoka to ruin their day.

Once, when they’re both super skint, Ahsoka volunteers to get handed in to some relatively minor and out-of-the-way Imperial garrison, so Boba can collect, bust her out, and split the pot with her. It’s the closest she ever comes to telling him “I trust you” — and when he brushes the idea aside, citing something about risk, it’s the closest he ever comes to telling her “I love you.”

Boba sees Inquisitors as muscling in on his game. There are so many lousy Force-users around nowadays, it should be easy pickings, but Inquisitors get privileged information. So he makes sport out of misdirecting them, especially from Ahsoka.

When he pisses her off, Ahsoka fantasizes about Bo-Katan taking Boba down a peg or two while she watches :)))

Boba experienced Ahsoka’s heat once, secondhand through a cabin wall. He thought he was being clever by shooting Rex up with some Nevoota stim pollen, locking him in with Ahsoka, and hijacking their locked ships. Longest three days of his life, limping on broken hyperdrives and shared fuel stores to the nearest waystation to a soundtrack of violent lovemaking : \

Bounty hunters invariably bump into spies and agents because they work in the same areas. The agents pretend to be bounty hunters, eccentric business people, sex workers, or a range of other things. Sometimes each party knows all about the other, but it’s only polite not to mention it. This happens to Ahsoka and Boba A LOT, especially once she becomes Fulcrum; rebel cells and Imperials often want the same people. Occasionally they exchange fire. A couple times Boba gets imprisoned in Ahsoka’s own brig. Once, Boba blows her cover and definitely lives to regret it.

(this essay was originally punctuated with pics, but replies with images won’t show up tumblr tags so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

#bobasoka #boba fett #ahsoka tano #rexsoka #the clone wars

49 notes · View notes

real-jaune-isms · 4 years ago

Text

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 9 Review/Remix

I cannot in good conscience joke that Rooster Teeth intended to go on a week’s hiatus after this cliffhanger, but I will say this was a hell of an episode for it to happen after. And while we wait to see what happens next, let’s take a little look at what’s happened here and now.

For the sake of not dividing up the action, let’s first cover what’s happening on the battlefield outside of Monstra. We open on a sweeping shot of the carnage thus far and see a good few nameless Atlesian soldier corpses to get our spirits plummeting. But Grimm don’t (with one terrifying exception) leave corpses so we don’t know how many of them have been taken out up to this point. It could be a very significant number, more than the body count on the human side! But Monstra keeps making more and we don’t have a way to replenish our forces so... it’s an endurance game more than anything else.

In a tactic I really didn’t see coming, the Atlas forces have dug trenches to fight out of like World War 1 soldiers. It makes sense, there are Grimm that we have seen have ranged projectiles so cover is a good move and it gives them a place to go over strategies before climbing out and going on the offensive. Just didn’t expect nearly century old battle strategy from an army with robots and mechs. Whatever works, I guess. We get a look in one of these trenches to see Winter briefing a squad on the plan to keep this area secure since it’s where an airship will be dropping off the bomb, and once it arrives their mission becomes escorting it inside Monstra. Amazingly, we can recognize 4 people in this squad as the members of Team FNKI! And WOW do they look out of place wearing the standard Atlesian soldier armor rather than their colorful and creative street clothes... Even their spunky personalities are taking a hit in this desperate situation. The next wave is approaching so everyone climbs out to start fighting back, and Marrow is shown a short ways away visibly upset over how many of their forces are just kids. Elm tells him to save the musings for after the fighting is done, and that does kick him into gear a bit. Everyone does a good job of handling the Grimm, Flynt and Neon tag teaming to take out a Goliath, and pretty soon the airship does touch down with the bomb. Left to his own thoughts, Marrow stares wistfully at Monstra and wishes good luck to “Juan”. Glad some things still haven’t changed.

Winter goes into the hold to sign off on its delivery, and Marrow follows her in to beg for a little more time for Yang and the others to get out first. She tells him they’ve allowed all the time they can and now it’s up to the teens to handle themselves. He calls her on this ambivalence, asks her if she’d be so dismissive if it were Weiss inside the whale. And for that matter, how is she going to be able to face Weiss and tell her 4 of her friends are dead because of Winter’s decision? Winter is visibly discomforted by that thought, but steels her nerve and replies that she will do so if she has to because that’s part of the job, so he should worry about doing his job. But you can tell she takes no pride in the job at this point.

With all of that battlefield drama out of the way, let’s talk about that group’s journey inside the whale. Through unseen means they managed to get inside, but the hallways all look the same and they aren’t finding a map any time soon. Yang points out this is like finding a needle in a... giant whale. More wonderful wit, brightens the mood immensely. Ren takes this opportunity to tell them about his new Semblance ability and says that he can use it as a sort of radar for other humans by sensing where the spikes of their emotions are. He can’t tell which one is Oscar, but he knows they’re all deeper inside Monstra so he’ll lead the way. Jaune reminds Ren that he can give him a boost with his own Semblance if he needs it, and Ren sheepishly agrees. Guess he’s still getting used to letting others in and being open about when he needs support. That was part of their whole three way argument on the tundra earlier this Volume after all. So this is them putting aside their differences and settling that. Jaune gives him some awkward finger guns and they head off.

We cut to Oscar lying on the floor of his holding room quoting a fairy tale to himself. Oz recognizes the quote as being from “The Girl Who Fell Through the World”, and Oscar isn’t shocked Oz knows it so well. He admits that yes, he did live through his fair share of events that became fairy tales. This particular story isn’t in the officially released book of Remnant’s fairy tales so we have to make some guess work about its plot and overall lesson. It seems to be a sort of mix of Wizard of Oz and the Hobbit where a girl craves to see the wider world and gets that chance through an adventure but when she returns she finds she can never quite fit in again because the journey has changed who she is forever. Oscar admits he’s growing to identify with the heroine of that story more and more by the day because he too has been sent through Remnant and come out the other side unable to feel the same innocent joy he did before he knew what the world really is. Oz thinks they may have to drop their plan of creating traitors in Salem’s ranks because it’s bearing no fruit, and suggests they start thinking about how to get his cane and get out of here themselves. Oscar has reservations about that, because apparently the more he uses Oz’s magic the quicker his soul is heading towards being lost as another past life for the single continuing existence that is Oz to look back on. Oz doesn’t blame him for wanting to delay that, and thinks just being Oscar is serving him pretty well. They don’t have time for further musings because Hazel comes in and drags the poor kid out of the room by the collar of his shirt.

Turns out they’re taking a trip over to the Home Depot, because Hazel is looking to procure a Lamp. He only half believes Oscar’s explanation of how Jinn works, so he wants to test it before taking the news to Salem and risking losing his head for reporting a lie. And if it does work, I guess he wants to know what that will entail. So he’s gonna make Oscar do it here and now. Before they can get underway with that, in comes Emerald to ask just what the hell they’re doing. Let’s find out, Hazel simply replies. That’s all the go ahead Oscar needs, and he calls for Jinn. Again, time stops around them and Jinn emerges from the blue smoke. She’s gotten a bit of an update to her model since Volume 6, and she’s as captivating as ever. Naturally, she wants to know what question they have of her, but no one seems to have one they urgently need answered. Hazel got all the answers he needed just by knowing Oscar was being honest about this and thus probably about a lot of other important matters. He decides now is the time to switch sides once and for all, he’s going to help Oscar AND Emerald get the hell out of here because neither of them deserve to be under Salem’s thumb. Oscar plays a little of the pronoun game and implies he wants his cane back before they leave, and Hazel seems to have no problem with that. Jinn remains playful, but must be getting pretty damn fed up with people summoning her without having a question to ask. Oscar deems it necessary to tell her that they’ll be taking her with them when they leave, as if that’s an alternative she was going to give much of a damn about. Hazel doesn’t think that’s a good idea, it’s the most prized item in Salem’s possession and she’s clearly going to know if it’s taken. He decides he’ll make a return trip to swipe it after the kids are out of the danger zone. They all head out as Jinn starts to fade into her cloud of smoke, but it seems they were not the only ones in the room at this time. With perfect chameleon-like camouflage, Neo was hiding in the shadows near the doorway, and emerges from nowhere like the Cheshire Cat. Now she’s alone with the Lamp and the knowledge of how it works. If only she could actually talk...

Back to our intrepid trio of heroes, Jaune is running on fumes with his Aura so he has to stop amping Ren’s Semblance. Ren apologizes of course, it does take a lot for him to both mask their emotional presences and search for other people at once, but Jaune says it’s fine. He’ll scout ahead while Ren takes a breather and doesn’t mask for a little while. With directions for where they need to be heading, Jaune jogs away full of optimism. Yang jokes about the two men patching things up after their spat the evening prior, but he decides its time for some patented Lie Ren wisdom. “It’s okay to be afraid, you don’t always have to hide it with a joke”. He’s not gonna judge her if she’s not in happy go lucky fun time mode, this is a seriously terrifying situation and she’s allowed to show fear and hesitation. At least, that’s the message I extrapolated from this and what we already know about Yang. Ren assures her he is scared too, but amazingly he can’t sense any such doubt or fear from Jaune. That man has full confidence and hope in getting this done, and if he believes then so will they. I really like that, it shows how much Jaune has grown from the noodle boy we first met. Speaking of the lad, he comes running back and tells Ren to mask them ASAP. A Seer is coming down the hall, and they hide from its view for as long as possible. But Ren is running low on Aura too and the effect wears off just before they’re in the clear.

Meanwhile, Hazel and Emerald are walking down a separate hallway and the former asks “You sure he’ll be okay on his own?” Clearly this means they let Oscar out of their sight so he can go get his cane, which shows a lot of confidence in the lad from these former captors. Emerald doesn’t have a clear answer yet, but she does stop Hazel and have him stand against the wall next to her. Salem is coming this way, and they need to let her pass. She stops, and naturally asks Hazel for an update on Ozcar. If he’s out here that must mean he has something to report. So, has he given up what they need yet? Hazel seems to immediately be cracking under pressure, the guy has no experience with lying or deception. Before he can stammer in place for too long, the Seers start wailing in the distance and that gets Salem’s attention instead. She realizes they have unexpected visitors, then almost immediately panics as she seems to realize the Lamp has been taken and these interlopers are surely to blame. Salem speeds off with all the grace of a kid riding a hoverboard, and it’s really quite amusing. I mean, we see her move her legs to walk but she just floats instead of running. We go back to the heroes finishing off the wave of what seemed to be Sabyrs that had come after them, and they decide to keep moving forward no matter the danger. Clever use of that phrase so near and dear to our hearts, and its good to see them gung ho about fighting their way through Monstra if it means finding Oscar.

They round a few more corners and find themselves face to face with Emerald and Hazel, and they’re none too happy about that. But good news comes suddenly, and Hazel steps forward to try and talk the situation down... only to be revealed to have actually been Oscar under the disguise of Emerald’s Semblance this whole time. She really is getting good at those illusions, it fooled Salem and was able to be cast on Jaune Ren and Yang at once. They are immediately much more happy to see Oscar alive and well, although the bear hug Jaune pulls him into might not help him heal any faster from the beatings he’s been getting. They still don’t know what to make of the fact that he was walking around with Emerald, and as soon as she makes a snippy remark they’re back on their guard. Oscar doesn’t quite know how to summarize everything that lead to this, but Yang insists someone give it a try. Emerald WAS the one who tricked her into “breaking” Mercury’s leg and becoming a public menace in Volume 3, she’s gonna need some good reasons to trust her now. Surprisingly, it’s Ren who has such an answer. Emerald is scared just like them, which would seem to show she is very much unhappy with being on this side of the fight and she wants to get out of this bad scenario. Em isn’t about to agree with that sort of admission of weakness, but she does have her own reason. She knows the way out, so if they want to leave they’ll all be leaving together. That’s enough to satisfy them for now, and they all get going.

They make it 90% of the way there, the ramping path down and out is just ahead of them... when Monstra starts pulsing and wailing. Emerald recognizes this influence, and she is frightened. The wall nearest to Oscar explodes, and Salem has arrived. She instantly takes stock of the situation, and deems Emerald the traitor in need of punishment for letting their prisoner out so she stretches her arms like my favorite rubber pirate and holds the poor thief closely with the intent to start that punishment immediately. She commends the girl for the improvements to her Semblance, but beneath the surface she is furious. Yang and Ren start shooting, and the fight with Salem has finally begun. She dodges the gunfire and responds with a beam of magic that Jaune jumps in the way to tank for Ren with his shield. They’re sent aback while Yang leaps in to unload a rapid volley of punches to Salem’s chest. A more baller move than punching this immortal witch in the titties, I never have seen. But that wasn’t all she did, she was actually leaving a bunch of sticky bombs that she jumps away and detonates all at once. Salem’s torso is blasted out of shape and she’s bending so far back you’d assume she’s the world’s greatest contortionist, but that doesn’t slow her down. She stretches out an arm to grab Yang tightly by the wrist and starts pulling her in as her chest starts to repair and reform at a rapid pace. Now it’s Oscar’s turn to attempt a rescue of his female companions, and he blasts some magic at Salem. Guess that fear of merging faster was kicked to the curb as soon as other people’s lives were on the line, and that’s pretty noble of him. But it’s a fairly weak blast, and Salem employs the classic strategy of hitting that motherfucker with another motherfucker by tossing Yang at him. Then she grows a bunch of Grimm arms from the floor to hold everybody down and leave them at her mercy. Emerald gets the special privilege of being held against a wall by some arms rather than on the ground, and is questioned on what she did with the Lamp. It’s missing, and Salem is dead certain Emerald is to blame despite her pleading insistence she hasn’t taken it and doesn’t know where it is now. Great job Neo, you made life that much harder for your former allies... Since Emerald isn’t offering any answers, Salem turns her attention to Oscar. At first it seems aloof and mysterious like before, but then she just lunges and grabs his face in anger. She’s mad that he keeps coming back to try and help this weak and selfish race instead of just letting her wreck it and end herself with the whole lot, as if he hasn’t already explained that he’s being forced to reincarnate by the gods she hates so much. But Yang is the one who snaps back, asking why Salem is so persistent. Sure, she had a tragic backstory and lost the love of her life. But that was thousands of years ago, she’s had plenty of time to get over it and move on. To grieve and accept Ozma was gone and be better. Instead she got pissed she couldn’t have her fairy tale ending and decided to make that everyone else’s problem. Salem has been the cause of almost every problem that has plagued Remnant since before the Great War, and Yang is calling her on it here and now. Go off, queen. Salem wonders just who Yang has lost to make her so indignant and so much more worthy of complaining and being the victim here than herself. Let’s list these losses, shall we?

Raven left home out of fear of Salem and her own hang ups with personal connections stemming from her upbringing (bandit lifestyle being so popular because there’s always towns to scavenge with Salem leading the Grimm)

Summer Rose is dead directly because of clashing with Salem

Pyrrha Nikos

Penny (she is back but there was still a lot of grieving on Ruby’s part and it had to affect Yang too)

About a dozen other Beacon students and visiting academy fighters at the Fall of Beacon, some of whom she probably got to know decently outside the ring and certainly respected as fighters in this defense effort

An arm because Adam was working under Salem and came to Beacon with vengeful intentions for Blake

About a year of PTSD nightmares flashbacks and involuntary fearful shaking

Her bond with Blake was fractured to hell and back because of the above incident, they’re damn lucky it was strong enough to be reforged with hard work and trust later

Now, some of those examples are a lot stronger than others, but they all affected her to some degree or another and all relate back to Salem. Naturally, she chooses the strongest example and says she lost her mom Summer Rose. This can be seen as throwing Raven under the bus as not being her mom in Yang’s eyes, but honestly after Volume 5 it just makes sense and it’s not like Raven would try to argue about it. Curiously, hearing Summer’s name just gives Salem a Cheshire Cat grin. I’m now realizing this is my second reference to that character in this review, but Alice in Wonderland is just that relatable here. Clearly she knows more than she’s letting on about Summer’s demise. Before we can get any more answers, Hazel arrives on the scene still playing the loyal subordinate role. Salem tells him she’s caught the traitor on their midst and he needs to take Oscar back to his room while she handles disciplining Emerald. He takes stock of all the kids trapped as he heads over to grab Oscar as asked, then pulls him in close to whisper “No more Gretchens, boy” in his ear. He suddenly drops him to ground again and turns to approach Salem. Oscar notices he was given his cane back when he wasn’t looking, and realizes what’s going to happen pretty quickly.

Salem holds a glowing ball of magic up to Emerald’s cheek with the implication that direct contac will be painful and possibly burning. Even under this threat of torture, Emerald has no answers and the fear of the seemingly inevitable brings her to tears. Lucky for her she gets a last minute save as Hazel runs up and sucker punches Salem, sending her flying a hundred feet through the air! She immediately recovers and starts flying before she can hit the ground, but the line in the sand has been drawn. As soon as she got sent flying the arms went away and all the kids were free to run away, which Hazel loudly yells for them to do as he rips his vest off and starts stabbing his shoulders and forearms with Dust crystals. Emerald lingers and wordlessly tries to talk him out of this, to run away with the rest of them. He just gives her a smile and turns towards his enemy. Salem asks if he really wants to turn his back on the path to vengeance she had promised him, and he responds that he’s instead choosing the righteous path his sister would have taken. Following her example is now the best way he can think to do right by her. So he’s gonna do that by using fire Dust to set his knuckle guards ablaze. She sends magic his way but the lightning Dust helps him quickly dodge and then he punches fireballs at her. He uses Revali’s Gale... I mean uses some air Dust to create an updraft and launch himself above her. He smashes some earth and fire Dust together to make a ball of spiky molten rock that he throws onto Salem and sends her crashing to the ground with an explosive impact. Then he just starts whaling on her, sending blood flying in 3 different directions and demolishing her upper body. But she makes more arms to hold him up in the air while she regrows her face. Emerald is still watching, not having moved an inch yet, but finally she decides retreat will be for the best. It’s why he’s doing this at all. Jaune seems to be doing a headcount as everyone runs past him, and realizes Oscar hasn’t left. He hasn’t made any moves to leave, in fact he seems like he’s getting ready to fight too. She’ll just keep coming after them at this rate, and Oscar seems to have a plan to change that. Salem shoots another magic beam at the now pinned Hazel, but he’s strong enough to pull against the arms and guard his exposed torso and put up a visible bubble shield of Aura. So she just tosses him away and immediately goes to where he landed and starts bashing his head into the ground. Oscar steadies his stance and readies his staff for whatever move this is gonna be. Salem notices and is ready to take him down before it can be ready, but Hazel continues to be a boss and gets her in a Full Nelson hold to keep her from going anywhere. She grabs his legs with a bunch of summoned arms, but it doesn’t discourage him. In a final act of vengeance, he bites down on a crystal of fire Dust he had popped into his mouth before grabbing her and they are both set on fire. She can’t escape his grip, and the fire seems like it’s hurting pretty bad. It’s only natural that they would reference the Salem Witch Trials by burning a witch named Salem, and I appreciate the idea very much. Oscar finishes charging up his staff for his attack, and Hazel gives him the go ahead. He knows this will kill him too, and he accepts that. It’s absolutely the same situation as Piccolo killing Goku and Raditz with the Makankösappö in the first arc of Dragon Ball Z, and that too is something I love to see. So Oscar puts up a magic shield and unleashes a blinding wave of golden light from the staff.

Fade to black.

Roll Credits.

8 notes · View notes

itsmoonpeaches · 4 years ago

Text

Which of your fics…

Tagged by @thinkingisadangerouspastime! Thanks! :)

Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got: I think probably Open Book? The Katara and Aang reunite in the Spirit World trope is so prevalent that I guess I thought it would reach more readers, but I guess since Jinora is so involved it was pretty niche!

Is your funniest: I’ll be honest. Comedy and humor are not my forte. I have the most trouble trying to be funny when I write anything, so I don’t know if I’ll have a good gauge for this, but I’d like to think that it’s “You’re Lee?” Aang was such a prankster in that one.

Is your darkest/angstiest: Dark and angsty are 2 different things for me. My darkest fic is definitely Society. It’s me delving into the nitty-gritty details of the Hundred Year War, the Air Nomad Genocide, and how battles might have turned out from Kuzon’s POV. It takes a lot of influence from the world wars. I guess that could be considered my angstiest too.

Is your absolute favorite: If you’ve followed me for a while you know it’s The Ghosts That We Knew. It’s probably my most fleshed out story, and I truly enjoyed letting myself use aspects of Filipino folklore that I heard growing up. Also, it is very Kataang.

Is your least favorite: We don’t talk about those. Those ones are from my old ff.net account which is long buried. Though, I would probably say it’s “You’re Kuzon?” I really hate the writing of it, but if I was going to continue the series, I needed it posted on my Ao3. It’s barely tweaked, and it was originally posted on my original (and very terrible) ff.net account. Please don’t read any of those if you know what’s good for you.

Was the easiest to write: This one doesn’t get a lot of attention, but it was Sea Prunes. Before this fic, I had stopped writing fic for years and thought I would never write fic again. I focused solely on my own original writings. When the Avatar Renaissance came around and I found myself reading new ATLA/LOK fics, I got this sudden urge to get back into it. I jumpstarted all that with this fic, which is basically the story of Kya and how she deals with the aftermath of losing her dad. After so many years of not writing fic, it was like all the stuff in the show that I thought about started to come out. Sure, this isn’t a particularly happy fic, but it was also the most mature fic I had ever written up until then, and it tapped into things that I personally wanted to write out.

Was the hardest to write: Technically, it was one of my most recent ones, “You’re Wang Fire?” As I said, I’m awful with humor, and this took me 3 weeks to get out there and it wasn’t even long. It’s hard for me to get the right voice for humor, so I see these as a challenge. I don’t want to fall into the trap of false comedy, and I want it to come out natural. It’s so hard! But, it was also Mark of the Living. For that one, it was more of the process of it that was hard. I lost the entire file because my computer acted up and for some reason it never saved in the cloud. I wrote that one twice!

Has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph (share it): I forget a lot of what I write, but this is one scene that is always so vivid to me if I ever think about it:

In a trance, she stood up. Her knees did not knock together. She was a statue made of diamond, an unwavering monument to her resolve.

“I am Katara of the Southern Water Tribe,” she dictated. “I am a master waterbender. My mother died in the war, and it wasn’t my fault.”

Kya grabbed for her own heart, looking pained. She was about to speak, but Katara did not let this shell of a woman say any more to her. She was a pretender, an illusion. She knew that now.

Katara sucked in air, letting it fill her lungs. “It wasn’t my fault!”

- from The Ghosts That We Knew, Chapter 4: Orange Ginger

Have you re-read the most: I’ll be honest I don’t reread my fics much, if ever. I do like to reread the comments of The Ghosts That We Knew and Society a lot because they’re so detailed and sometimes they make me feel better about my writing if I ever need a boost in confidence, so I guess I reread portions of the last chapters of those pretty often.

Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time: My fics are largely Kataang (but there are quite a few exceptions, to be honest). For a general fan, I would recommend reading What Was, What Is. Besides the fact that it seems there’s quite a few people that have liked to recommend it, it’s also probably the one that most people identify with. I also enjoy that it’s something that is just me saying, “HEY! LOVE AANG!”

Are you most proud of: For sure The Ghosts That We Knew and Society. I literally always talk about those, but these two were the biggest challenges overall to write. It was the story I had to come up with, the conflicts I had to see made sense, and the idea that these were multi-chaptered (and I rarely write multi-chapter fics because they are an undertaking). The Ghosts That We Knew is just a story I myself would have wanted to read, and it felt personal to me. Society was just straight up me coming up with a backstory for a character we don’t even really know. I mean, Kuzon? What do we know about him? It was almost as if I was writing from the POV of an OC, and I honestly am not a person who makes OCs the stars of my fics.

Tagging: @penguinsledder @the-last-cuddlebender @koala-otter @justoceanmyth?? I think some of you were tagged already, but I don’t know that many other authors on here! If you want, but if not, no worries!

#tag game #fanfic #writing #itsmoonpeaches fanfic

11 notes · View notes

i-am-just-a-kiddo · 4 years ago

Text

favourite male fictional characters

Thank you @vishcount for tagging me, this was a lot of fun! 💞 I originally planned to follow your example and put ten characters here but suddenly it became a lot more oops. also i hope you forgive me for following your format, it’s neat

I am tagging @isabellaofparma , @the-cloud-whisperer and @sassyassassy!

I chose the characters that impacted me deeply on a personal level throughout my life (often shown by how long my love lasts over the years and if i was inspired to write for them).

In no specific order under the cut:

Legolas

The Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien.

I think it’s only fitting I start off with this magnificent guy. Maybe I gotta admit, i’ve just had a crush on him ever since I was like, nine years old? He’s the character I will fight tooth and claw for (though I guess he doesn’t need me to do that). I love Orlando Bloom’s portrayal of him, eventhough he is vastly different from the books. Book Legolas is such a delight as well, he feels so whimsical and playful and his banter with Gimli is just gold. I was sad when The Hobbit trilogy came out and I was so disappointed by how they butchered his character, it just did not feel authentic anymore (maybe I am also just bitter about the forced hetero storyline for him. makes no cents, this elf is GayTM your honour. and he will meet his soulmate Gimli in a few decades). Either way, Legolas is the love of my life, thanks for coming to my tedtalk,

Peter Pan

Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie

Another childhood crush of mine. The gif I chose if from the 2005 movie because we always used to watch it and it is to this day one of my favourite movies. It’s so dreamy, so magical, yet also incredibly sad and sweet. I have this very strange fascination with Peter Pan. There is something incredibly unsettling about him, especially in the book. He represents something every child wants - who doesn’t want to escape their bedroom and fly away to experience magical adventured far from the adult world? And yet he also represents the impossibility of it, the curse he carries around with himself because he will forever stay alone, no matter how many lost boys he gathers around himself. And Wendy - it’s a love that was never meant to grow and mature, it’s a fleeting dream for the both of them. I have seen many different adaptations of Peter Pan and I have my favourites, though I want to give a special mention to the book Peter Darling by Austin Chant. It’s a retelling of the story how we know it, in which Peter returns to Neverland after having finally grown up BUT the main points I want to highlight is trans Peter? Heck yes. Gripping and compelling gay love story with our favourite original lost boy Captain Hook? YES.

Snufkin

Moomins, Tove Jansson.

I have discovered Snufkin for myself only last year, and yet I know he will stay with me forever. In short - I vibe with him, he vibes with me. His anxieties about being with people and longing for solitude? His fear of being loved and being important to someone to a point he doesn’t know what to do with himself? This man just wants to roam freely with his own mind and yet he always returns for something that captures him. Mum, I love him because I have rarely felt this seen before. Also, Snufkin said ACAB.

Prince Jing - Xiao Jingyan

Nirvana in Fire (2015)

This too is a darling I have only discovered recently. I watched Nirvana in Fire this year and let me tell you, it’s the best show I have seen in a long while. It’s absolutely amazing and it also ripped my heart out. All the characters are absolutely amazing and I am still not over it.

To be honest, I contemplated between Xiao JIngyan and Mei Changsu, because character-wise I think the latter is a lot more interesting and compelling. He makes for a fantastic heartbreaking and flawed protagonist.

However I have to admit - it was love at first sight with Prince Jing for me and I’m still lowkey mad abt it rip. Seems like I am not immune to Pretty Prince Propaganda. But apart from that, I adore him for his genuine

goodness,

his almost naive drive to be better and seek justice. He lost everything, and for the longest time did not have anything to fight for. So alone and lost and bitter, it makes me sad how much it hardened him. He is heartbreak and clumsy kindness hidden under a skin of scars that was inflicted by his father and many others. I see his sad cat-eyes and I cry, that’s just how it is.

Edmund Pevensie

The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis

I grew up with these books and movies - they have always been part of my life and it will probably always stay that way (only last night I rewatched the first movie and sobbed). Imagine my surprised when I finally watched the last movie about five years ago and was incredibly impressed by how they adapted the book; also imagine my brain suddenly going CASMUND in bold letters at Skandar Keynes’ and Ben Barnes’ performance in that movie. From there, I rediscovered this story completely anew for myself. My favourite Pevensie sibling has always been Lucy (and still is, because I identify with her so much and she feels like home to me); however this new discovery of Edmund’s character was overwhelming. It’s interesting to see characters you’ve grown up with from a more grown up point of view. I don’t want to lay out all my thoughts here, just know I am so heartbroken for him, and so so proud as well. His character arc is amazing and maybe that’s how the last movie makes me even more emotional. Seeing Edmund and Lucy still holding on to Narnia but knowing that that door was closing for them? Not to mention what happens in the later books (we don’t talk about that). Also did I mention Casmund. Here, have my incredibly emo and depressing take on Edmund’s character that I started writing four years ago and which will forever stay a WIP.

Nie Huaisang

The Untamed (2019)

My son. My soul. My bane of existence. The tragic thing about him is, that he does not really exist in canon as I have created him for myself. He’s a secondary character in the show, always so relatable yet still brings the ultimate twist of the story, yet he still remains this incomplete shadow. The movie

Fatal Journey

gave him a lot more and I cried tears of joy and devastation. I don’t know why I latched on to him so much, but apparently he is the one that I project on, the one that feels like he sits somewhere inside my chest. I don’t know what else to say - this year he has been everything to me. I spend a lot of time in his head while writing, and maybe that’s how he’s there forever now. Nie Huaisang saw my brain and went it’s free real estate. All my love for you, you dramatic art hoe.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ah, another lifelong companion. There are many adapations that I adore - starting from the origin of it all, the books and stories which I have all devoured; the 80s adaptation with Jeremy Brett which was incredibly wonderful; to BBC Sherlock which shaped and traumatised me (I still like the first three seaons but I am too hurt to think about it); to the numerous movies - but by far my most favourite performance is Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes. Somehow he manages to capture the Holmes I see in my head when I read the books, the sharp yet polite eccentric detective, who loves his companion so much and who has desire to help others. Sherlock Holmes will always stay special to me, in so many different ways. He shaped my youth and I know he will stay with me. (also what would you say when I told you he helped me discover that I can, in fact, be queer AND ace at the same time? thanks pal). What else is there to say? Sherlock Holmes is a universe that you can dive into and find many amazing treasures.

Isak Valtersen

SKAM (2015)

There he is, the boy that changed my life. SKAM changed my life. All of the characters did. However, Isak is special for many, as I imagine. I remember winter 2016, when tumblr was flooded by these norwegian white boys kissing in a pool and cuddling and I was like ‘nah’, this doesn’t look convincing. I don’t know what changed my mind but I remember sitting down at last and watching all that was released of season three and it was only downhill from there. I remember starting to follow the real life updates religiously while watching the other previous seasons in between. The one clip that completely wrecked me was when Isak went to the school nurse about his struggles with sleep - it felt like for the first time I saw someone on screen that could understand me on so many different levels. The entierty of seaons three is so personal, I would tell you to go watch it if you don’t know what I mean. The entire show in fact. It’s a masterpiece and it feels so real. This show impacted my life in a way that no show has managed to do before. I miss it so much. I miss Isak too sigh.

Shang Xirui

Winter Begonia (2020)

Technically, for me personally, Shang Xirui is the nonbinary, gay and ace representation I need in my life (or at least that’s my own personal take on him), but since that is not official, he’s still here on this list. Of course he is because wow, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen such a compelling character on screen. I went from disliking him to being absolutely heartbroken over him. I don’t think any other character in this show captured me as much as he did. There are so many layers to him and discovering all of his sides is a wonderful, heartbreaking, painful and also beautiful journey. I’m not sure I understand all of him yet, but I am willing to try and dig and just ponder his existence. This too, is a perfect example for a flawed yet authentic protagonist. Also he is the most beautiful thing on this planet, or at least that’s how I have been feeling ever since I watched this. I wish to write more of him in the future.

Aang

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005)

I grew up watching ATLA and my favourite characters have always been Toph, Zuko and Uncle Iroh. In recent years however, I completely fell in love with Aang all anew.

I think especially in the past, I had these prejudices against main characters and found them all the most boring personalities ever. In recent years this changed a lot and especially Aang is a prime example for that. Watching him from the perspective of older me, I find so much wisdom in this young boy. Somehow he represents all I wish to be in my life but at the same time he shows his flaws, he carries this sadness with him that will accompany him all his life. This inner battle and chaos that he has to face day to day and in the end - he is just a young boy. So much has been taken from him and yet he learns how to not let it overtake him, that anger and hurt. He tries his hardest to be better than the day before, even if sometimes the world crashes down on him and he gets overwhelmed. He is a child recruited by adults to manage their mistakes and play into the hands of predestined fate and in this essay I will -

Harry Potter

Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling

I am surprised myself. I thought I would put Fred and George here, or Remus and Sirius, however I realised that none of them quite capture this feeling of lifelong change, of personal, deep impact that Harry had on me.

As with Aang above, I used to think Harry was the most boring protagonist, yet my opinion took a 180° turn in the past years. Many of the things I wrote for Aang apply to him too - the fact that he was a child, that lost so much, and was always faced with challenges that a child should never have needed to face. Something I want to address is how my favourite book, The Order of the Phoenix, lays all of this out. Harry is just as flawed, just as vulnerable and angry as anyone else. I know some people did not like his ‘emo behaviour’ in the fifth book but for me it just showed how human he is, how he was just a teen like myself at that time. As for many, this boy shaped my entire life, shaped a generation, and I will forever be grateful. I’m sad and angry at how J*R behaves, and how she puts us in the position of doubting our love for these stories. I know I will always love them, but I will not turn a blind eye on all the problematic shit is carries with itself and what the author piles upon us.

Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian

The Untamed (2019)

I will try and keep this short, because if you want to read my thoughts about Wangxian just go to my ao3 and find the over 70k i wrote for them. I decided to put them here together because I can’t seperate them and I can’t choose between them. Each of them carries something I recognise in myself, and each of them is the opposite of me. They each own my heart and soul and I know there will never be a fictional couple like this for me ever again. They’ve snuck their way into my heart and have never left. They deserve to be here, together, because my love for them is indescribable. Bless them. + Bonus:

The Doctor

Doctor Who (1963/2005)

Technically, the Doctor doesn’t count as a “male” character, but since he has been presenting as male up until recently, I needed to include him. I chose the Tenth Doctor because he is the one that broke my heart the most. I adored Nine but he was there too short, and I do love Eleven and Twelve a lot, and Thirteen absolutely owns my heart, Ten has just always been the one that made me cry the most. I loved this era of Doctor Who, I loved how sad and hopeful he was, how heartbroken and yet determined to help wherever it was needed. Doctor Who is always that show, when I return to it, I am reminded that maybe, humanity and the universe isn’t all that bad.

phew, this took ages damn. but i had so much fun! i decided to leave out honorable mentiones because we would be sitting here until tomorrow lol.

#gosh this was nice #a lot of incoherent rambling here #thanks dear #tag game #personal

11 notes · View notes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoldretired · 5 years ago

Text

some p!g-drv3 theories (spoilers obvi)

First of all I think people demonize the pg versions wayyy too much because its a good way to be le sexy in like fanfictions. And i get it, villains are hot or whatever. and also hs is a horny age to be. But even the edgiest and horniest of teens aren’t like. that sexual/monstrous. its kind of insane the portrayals people are placing

maybe this could also be like me being older bc when i was early hs i was like yea its fair to place these super mature portrayals on a 18-22 year old they are like adults but young and now im that age and im like woah there pardner. might be an age/maturity thing.

also like its normal for people to relate to and portray characters their same age in a similar fashion, but when adults write more sexual content about the dg kids i get hella fucking sus

idk where i was going with that first comment i guess its like a preface and in the end i think its important when characters especially teenage characters are morally grey not because they’re mature and dark/brooding but because they are still young and learning. fuck im older than like most of them, but im still young and learning. its good to be in turmoil and confused, especially the drv3 cast. they are more confused than anything.

which i think is a reason why people would join dr because if you are completely loss and in turmoil, it is appealing to be given a purpose in life and amazing talents/abilities. despite the morals of danganronpa, it is a simple reality to be told who you are and what to do

OK ONTO HEADCANONS (not doing all bc i dont have thoughts about all)

first of all i understand changing stories but i think, deep down, you can’t change fundamental personalities/values. so while the backstories might be different i think, in the end, a baseline is always the same

SHUICHI being a Bad Boy is like canon obviously but i dont think he’s as manipulative as people make him out to be. i think he falls in the more the bully role that like. mae borowski or tf2′s scout filled before they grew up. rough background, bad anger issues, lots of emotional turmoil, and the only way he knows how to deal with shit is by committing crimes and beating the shit out of people. and, similar to those characters, drv3 represents an older, more emotionally sober yet equally confused version of himself. the urges are still there as foreshadowed in the dialogue. i think he struggles with guilt, mostly survivors, but there is still a lasting impact of guilt of what he did in his past, even if he can’t remember.

KOKICHI is a child. a piece of shit motherfucker child but a child. I really do think he’s like one of the youngest people in the cast. he reminds me a lot of when my brother doesn’t take his adhd medicine and takes jokes way too far and does mean and cruel things because he thinks its funny and that its just a fun joke, but is hurting people. he desperately wants approval, which is why his leader role is so interesting because in the dr narrative he has the approval he craves and so he is satisfied. still, he does try to impress characters like rantaro and values his opinions a lot, even developing a brotherly relationship in the time they knew each other. this being said, its established kokichi was bullied before, but i dont think he’s like. the wimp people make him out to be. i think he’s more of like the class clown who desperately uses humor to make people like him, and ends up resorting to be the butt of most of his jokes. you don’t just develop a good sense of humor out of a brainwash, and that’s not something you can program in. i think that was a remnant of before, and he’s so good at bullying people and coming up with roasts - i just think that in p!g the roasts were about him.

KAEDE is baby but her p!g personality seriously reminds me of any ~quirky/edgy~ girl in a teen coming of age story who tries to be edgy and cool and act like she doesn’t care but deep down, she really does. if she didn’t have an empathetic personality, she wouldn’t want to end the game. i also think she has that self-identifying QuIrKy personality because its like she lives in her own narrative, practically announcing this story is about her and she is the protagonist. i know i used to self narrate like that and distinguish how i was different when i was like. 15-16. she has a tumblr.

I really like the theory where KAITO is a make-a-wish kid who was better when he was younger but relapses later in teens. he never used his wish before, so he decides to use it now to be on danganronpa and become the hero he always wanted to be. i also think he might have joined as a way to raise awareness about adolescent healthcare. definitely the type who puts on a “heroic” character to make everyone else feel better about the fact he is literally dying of a terminal illness, and keeps that act up till the end.

i think KOREKIYO is still a serial killer. i think honestly a reason why he mightve auditioned for danganronpa is because he is a serial killer. maybe his sister found out and he felt so much shame that’s why he auditioned. he probably mentioned why in his interview because duh, tell them im a serial killer and then only reason im coming clean is my sister found out and im ashamed, that is like a guarantee to get on the show. i LOVE the theory that his sister is still alive, however, and has to watch her brother go insane because they wrote her into the story as the villain. because technically, she brought on this guilt, and is the reason why he auditioned - as a way to cause despair, twist it around so she’s the one to blame for his insanity. also, because its pretty accepted DR members become celebrities, kork’s sister is totally bombarded with paparazzi and is demonized in the media. she might end up writing a tell-all memoir about kork’s actual childhood and personality. quiet kid, thoughtful, interested in anthropology, she never thought he’d hurt a fly. watching her brother go insane probably destroyed her.

I also think, timeline wise, kork is probably one of the oldest members along with rantaro. tbh i think kork actually graduated hs and went on a gap year doing the whole “hitchhike around the world to discover myself thing” which is where he began killing people. he was getting ready to go to college when his sister found out about what he did. this is when he decided to go on danganronpa instead of university. this would help explain why he knows so much about other cultures/travel/been so many places with so many memories/killed/is knowledgable on a level most other students are not. this would place him at like, 20-21, where everyone else is like 15-18.

ok so there’s two p!g RANTARO, p!g before 53 and p!p!g before 52. i’d like to establish now i think rantaro is the oldest of the characters, seeing as though he was already pretty old to begin with in 52, it takes time between television seasons, and he was in another game. so im placing him like 21-23, similar to yasuhiro in d1 being so much older than everyone else. i do think, in all iterations, rantaro was pretty much raising his sisters, though i don’t think he had twelve like the story (i think that’s an exaggeration, his sisters mean a lot to him, lets make him have a TON and then lose them all and feel GUILTY) rantaro joined the first game, partially to get money for his family and hopefully establish them as celebrities and let them have a comfy lifestyle, even if he doesn’t live...and also to finally ahve some sort of experience without his siblings tagging along. if he’s been raising his sisters all his life, he’s never had like something that’s JUST his. that’s his adventure. 52 is his ULTIMATE adventure. ahaha. mostly for money, kind of dreading it, still a tiny bit excited

ok p!g rantaro between 52 and 53 probably came back broken. he did the signings and appearances, but mostly wanted to spend time with his family and make sure they were set up. i think he knew the whole like few months between seasons he had to go on another show, but he did’t tell his sisters. his family found out when they saw a billboard with his face plastered on it hyping up the return of a fan favorite. yikes!

ok i get it a lot of people hate HIMIKO but i think she’s not nearly as similar as other “useless” characters in other games. its like, pretty clear she’s depressed, and the only thing she’s holding onto with dear life is magic. lack of hygiene, lack of personal care, constantly tired, social interaction exhausts - she has depression, but she’s not an UWU depressed character. so people find her depressive traits (which are some of the most realistic portrayals of mental health in the series) SUPER annoygin. she joined dr because she was completely lost and needed some sort of direction in her life, even if she’ll die for it. the thing is, even with direction, her mental state didn’t change because she wasn’t getting legitimate help. it’s like that one SNL skit that’s like. same sad you from before but in a new place. i also think she knows the magic is not real, because how could she not. i think she’s so adamant that it IS real, less as a way to convince others, and more of a way to convince herself. it’s like really super cruel that team danganronpa took a girl who is desperate for meaning and gave her literally a meaningless, fake talent.

i also kin himiko and find her a comfort character because i feel seen by her, replacing her useless talent of magic with mine of like shitty film making and comedy. i am seen.

related i don’t think she’s nearly as ugly as everyone says she is, i think she’s probably just depressed and takes absolutely no care of her hygiene and sleep and looks like sick and greasy all the time. same queen.

honest to god i think RYOMA’s backstory, tennis and all, is like 100% real and he’s the only one who keeps all of his memories except for the fact this is a tv show. i think he rolled up, a hot fucking mess, and the danganronpa team were like damn. we cannot improve upon this.

#ryoma hoshi #himiko yumeno #rantaro amami #korekiyo shinguji #kaito momota #kaede akamatsu #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #drv3 #killing harmony #pg dr #pre!game danganronpa #danganronpa #theories #danganronpa spoilers

25 notes · View notes

phoenixrisesoncemore · 4 years ago

Text

I was tagged by @wangxianbunnydoodles (oh my, this is long and you might regret it; also I don’t follow instructions well 😉). I tend not to be very good at these things (sorry to anyone else who has tagged me in these kinds of things before—this is a rare event happening mostly because I wanna talk about Tolkien books and ships) but here goes:

Top 3 Ships

I don’t actively ship characters that often. I’m not sure why that is. I do enjoy reading fic with pairings either canon or not, but I don’t often go “all in” on ships in most narratives I consume. There are notable exceptions (more than three but these are the three most recent—I have no idea how to identify my top ships):

WangXian (CQL). This is surely obvious from the current state of my blog, right? I blame The Untamed and its impossibly tender, only-subtextual-by-a-hair’s-breadth romance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show express ultimate devotion, deep affection, true appreciation, complete understanding (eventually), and the sheer *necessity of the other* between two people quite like this one has. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen two characters and desperately wanted them together and happy as much as I have these two, so bravo to the cast and crew for generating such second-hand devotion in me.

Silvergifting (Tolkien). This is all @thearrogantemu’s fault. I’d read some Silvergifting before I read These Gifts That You Have Given Me, mostly out of curiosity (some good stuff, too!), but I had never read any Tolkien fic that convinced me it was *true* (on many, many levels, though the ship level is the one pertinent to this post). In any canon-like universe this ship hurts, but in the Gifts universe it hurts the most; it hurts like Hell. It hurts in the way only razor-sharp, sorry-the-universe-works-this-way, oh-are-those-my-entrails-on-the-floor-I-didn’t-even-feel-the-knife tragedy can hurt. And it’s so convincing that it’s just...a fact now. Tolkien just forgot to tell us. So now I ship Silvergifting, but most deeply, specifically THAT Silvergifting. (Meanwhile, 14 year old me continues to look at *significantly* older me like I’m insane.)

ZeLink (Legend of Zelda). Deep down I’m still 12 years old and no amount of fine lines and wrinkles is going to change that. When is Breath of the Wild 2 coming out?

Last Song

I listen to soundtracks and bombastic and dramatic orchestral pieces much more often than I listen to what people mean when they say “songs,” and a significant chunk of the “songs” I listen to are from musicals/operas.

Earlier today it was Hanz Zimmer’s soundtrack to Dark Phoenix (don’t start me up on the continuing disappointment that Phoenix adaptations continue to be to me—you don’t want to hear it; even I don’t want to hear it).

Before that it was Barbra Streisand’s The Broadway Album. (I prefer her outer space cover of “Somewhere” to the actual thing. Fight me.)

Before that it was Carmina Burana (One of my favorite things ever was when we went to a live performance of Carmina Burana and a boy who couldn’t have been more than 7 years old sat in the aisle in front of us and head-banged enthusiastically through “O Fortuna.” It was so metal. You go, kid. You get it.).

Before that it was a splattering of Billy Joel hits with emphasis on “2000 Years”, “River of Dreams”, “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”, “The Stranger”, and “Only the Good Die Young” (thanks to that outstanding WangXian interpretation!).

Of course the soundtracks to The Untamed/CQL have been on repeat for weeks around here, particularly every single iteration of “WuJi” and the flute-heavy instrumental pieces (man, those are good!).

Not long ago I had Sarah Brightman’s covers of “Figlio Perduto” from La Luna and “Glosoli” and “One Day Like This” from Dreamchaser burning through my iPhone battery (yes, I like popera).

Enya, and especially Shepherd Moons and The Track Which Shall Not Be Named has been on repeat a lot.

Last Movie

I don’t sit down to watch movies that often any more. It just takes too much stillness and undivided attention and more resistance to multi-tasking than I have. The actual last movie that I watched (in a “have it on on another screen while I work” kind of way) was Raiders of the Lost Ark, which, of course, I’ve seen umpteen times and which followed a similar rewatch of the Back to the Future trilogy. The last movie I watched completely without distraction was Book Smart; I don’t watch comedies very often, but I really enjoyed it in an “OMG, I can totally relate to this” kind of way (except for the class president thing—that would have required that I interact with other people my own age and also not be homeschooled). Before that I think it was the Tolkien biopic. Man, I still haven’t written anything about that.

Currently Reading (in order of when I started them)

Oh dear.

The Familiar: part 1, Mark Z Danielewski. *sigh* For as much as I think Danielewski is brilliant and House of Leaves is one of my favorite books ever, I’ve just not been able to get into much of his other work. It’s universally a time and energy investment to penetrate and puzzle through, and I just don’t have as much of that as I used to. House of Leaves makes that investment worth it from early on and is absolutely a page-turner once you settle in, but other than The Fifty Year Sword I’ve just not been able to get into the rest of his work. The Familiar: part 1 is supposed to be the first in a 26 part series which is currently halted at part 4, I think. Without a guarantee of all parts ever being published, I don’t think I’m ready to invest more time into part 1 and may end up abandoning it, unfortunately.

History of The Hobbit, Douglas Anderson. Anderson did what Christopher didn’t and gave The Hobbit the HoMe treatment (if a bit less literal and opaque in format). It’s fascinating (I mean, there’s the Beren and Luthien name drop you were not expecting right there in the first draft), but reading essentially the same passages with only small changes over and over can be a slog, so reading it has been an ongoing project for over a year now.

Splintered Light: Logos and Language in Tolkien’s World, Verlyn Fleiger. This is Fleiger’s look at Tolkien’s Middle-earth in light of his association with Owen Barfield. Particularly, she is examining Tolkien’s work in conjunction with Barfield’s Poetic Diction and his thoughts on language and meaning. I have not read Poetic Diction, but I probably will now since it apparently addresses language formation as related to the origin of human consciousness which is SO up my alley.

New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton. My late sister-in-law had a masters in theology from Notre Dame and became a huge Merton fan. Meanwhile, my best friend actually spent a weekend retreat at The Abbey of Gethsemani. Between hearing about him from the two of them, I developed an interest in Merton. I happened to read “Moral Theology of the Devil” a couple of years ago. It was one of the most illuminating theological things I have read and deeply inspired my own Tolkien fic-writing (let’s just say the progress there is otherwise slow). This book is a collection of pieces which happens to contain that piece, and I’ve been skipping around through it for a while now.

The Lord of the Rings reread (Tolkien, obviously). I hate this, but I am so deep in so many critical Tolkien books that I’ve not had the chance to really sit down and relax into my reread for months and months and will likely just end up starting over. Plus I want to read it concurrently with the next entry in this list and the next entry is taking longer to get through because of its format. That entry being:

The Lord of the the Rings: A Reader’s Companion, Hammond and Scull. This is a treasure trove of data and insights for those really wanting to dig critically-historically into The Lord of the Rings on a chapter-by-chapter, passage-by-passage basis. The only issue with it is that jumping back and forth between the two (as you have to: this is a reference book) tends to kill the mood of The Lord of the Rings when read as it’s meant to be read: for enjoyment!

The Power of Limits: Proportional Harmonies in Nature, Art, and Architecture, Gyorgy Doczi. This has been an ongoing read here and there since Christmas, especially as I work on two personal projects.

The Gospel in a Pluralist Society, Lesslie Newbigin. To be honest I don’t think I am going to finish this one. I like a few of the things he says, things I think are truthful and which need to be confronted in American Christian culture in particular, but it’s just too much Calvin for my taste, too many assumptions I do not share being the heretic that I am, and I spend too much time anger-notating about theology to read it with grace.

In Full Measure I Return to You, thearrogantemu. This is a reread of the (relatively) happy AU fic for my most favoritest Tolkien fic (Gifts), but I’ve put my reread on hold while I finish one of the two projects, after which I am diving in and screw the rest of this list for the time being.

Food Craving

Sushi. My kingdom for some good sushi. I’ve only had sushi once since we got back from NY and while it was the best sushi I have had locally IT WAS NOT OMAKASE AT SUSHI NOZ. It also didn’t require a personal loan to pay for, but *shrug* I’m spoiled now and will forever crave what I can no longer have.

People I’d Like To Get To Know Better

I hate tagging people in these things because I’m awkward and shy and do them so rarely myself that it feels hypocritical for me to ask it of others. That being said: if you’re a follower of my blog and you want to do this, please do! And please tag me! I’d love to get to know more about you 😊.

#getting to know you #wangxianbunnydoodles #tolkien #the untamed #movies #music #books #food

12 notes · View notes

slxyangel · 5 years ago

Text

Long Dark Shadow (Steven Adler / Izzy Stradlin’ x Reader)

Summary: “Revenge is a really tricky fucker, but who cares at this point?” This is the second part of Shock Therapy.

Wordcount: 2.4k.

Warnings: Panic attack, a lot of angst, more angst and a little bit of angst in case there wasn’t enough.

A/N: Since this is a sequel to a story I already posted, here are the tags for the people who asked me to write this, you are the real MVPs and I genuinely appreciate u :))) izzzyjizzy wannabegonnie kairigoth youthgonewild imagines-xxx isahminski

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Masterlist: https://slxyangel.tumblr.com/post/189625800403/masterlist

The parking lot extended in front of your eyes, almost empty, almost infinite. The pavement was noticeably hot, you could feel it burning under your feet as if you were barefoot. It was mid July and, as expected, the sun showed no mercy. The air was steaming, it scalded, it hurt when you breathed it in. Your head was spinning but you wouldn’t stop moving, you just couldn’t risk to. It’s funny how you hadn’t noticed any of that when you stepped out to the alley a while before, nothing other than typical summer heat and a slightly more pleasant sensation inside of the studio than outside. But now… oh shit, what had you done?

You reached the first car on your way, a red Volvo and you leaned on it to recover the breath you inexplicably lacked. Well, maybe not that inexplicably, there were probably reasons, only you couldn’t process them. You withdrew your hand as soon as you touched it. Fuck, it was fire. You took your damaged fingers to your mouth in an attempt to sooth them, but the gesture soon turned into a failed attempt to cover your mouth’s accelerated respiration and stopping yourself from having a panic attack. There, beside the red Volvo, you bent down and tried to catch your breath, as two pairs of steps neared you from behind.

Steven situated himself in front of you and squatted, but he kept the distance. He was trying to make you focus your eyes on his instead of letting them freely wander around, searching for life. He had had his fair share of these with you, and he knew better than to hug you, as much as he felt that would make everything better. You needed space, you needed air, and if he was right and the root of this whole thing was the one he had in mind, he was all but going to fix it with his closeness. Izzy, on the other hand was standing there, one step and a half away from you and the drummer, biting his nails, with the very unpleasant feeling that he had caused this. Besides, he was supposed to be the calm guy, the chill dude who could handle situations like these because he had been through many of them, but he was losing his shit. Seeing you there, with tears of powerlessness rolling down your cheeks and your hands unsuccessfully trying to cover them... he didn’t know where to fucking put himself, but he sure wasn’t going to leave you alone, so he stood there, as still as a corpse and with his chipped nails as the only outlet for his own anxiety.

After a couple of minutes, your breath slowed down and evened, and your hands were finally able to dry your cheeks without the danger of tears bathing them all over again. You felt like sitting on the floor, but you wouldn’t repeat that mistake, so you stood up, wrapping your arms around yourself and turning to face Izzy. So did Steven.

- I’m so sorry – you mumbled, almost to yourself.

- No, why? What? – the blond sounded hurried, the same way a person does when something is escaping from their hands and they needed to catch it but don’t know how to – Why? Don’t be sorry. Please, don’t be sorry.

- I… I don’t know, Steven. I really don’t know.

- It’s okay, you’re okay. Because you are okay, right? Are you okay? You’re breathing, you…

- Yes, yes, I’m fine.

An honest smile peeked out of your lips. You always loved the way he had to make you feel cared about, he really was the sweetest boy on Earth. But still you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, that something was broken. I was like this dark certainty took over you, and what worried you the most wasn’t that mere fact; it was the sensation that it wasn’t necessarily negative. You wanted to fight against it, but deep down you didn’t. Your eyes flew to the guitarist’s as you were delving into this, and you found him looking at you with a familiar intensity, exactly the same one you were trying to swim against. You shook your head and looked at the floor. No. No, no, no.

- What do you think? That I didn’t notice? – Steven’s voice sounded tired, as if it weighed ten thousand pounds.

- What? – you stared at him, confused.

- That – he gestured with his right hand --. This.

- Dude… -- Izzy finally talked, with a calm that sounded so uneasy.

- Dude, what? I’m not dumb. – his shoulders fell limp, matching the sound of his voice – Despite what everybody in here seems to think, I am not dumb. I have eyes, I see things, I realize things. Like the way you look at her as if she was the very axis of your world. Izzy, no offence, but you’re dead inside, and she sparks light in your eyes. At first…

- Steven, please…

- Let him finish – you interrupted Izzy.

- Yes, let me finish – the drummer looked at you with a gaze you weren’t able to identify –. At first, if I’m honest, I didn’t give it much of a thought. Okay, maybe I am dumb for that. But for God’s sake, you – and now he pointed in your direction – started looking back at him the same way. I see you two from the stall across the glass, sitting on the couch next to each other, you putting your legs over his, how you accept drags of his cigarettes when you don’t even like Marlboro, and how he blows his smoke in your face and you giggle at it…

- Hey! That was only…

- Now you let him finish. – Izzy cut you, sharp as a knife.

- I thought “It’s okay, Steven, you’re being paranoid. She’s effusive, she’s like that” and I know you are and I swear to god I love that about you. But what am I supposed to do when I hear you – his eyes now accused his bandmate – tell Axl that you, I quote, think you fucking love her and that the guilt is consuming your soul? What guilt, man? WHAT FUCKING GUILT???

Tears escaped from his eyes with the same lack of permission words were spilling out of his mouth with, like a faucet he had opened by accident and he couldn’t close. Fuck, you should have known, you should have noticed the same way he did. You should have been more cautious. Not only about controlling your feelings for somebody else, because one can’t really put a lace around that, but about letting him fabricate the wrongest of ideas and chew on it until it was this rooted. After all this situation you didn’t know if he was your boyfriend anymore, but you couldn’t stand to see him suffering, not him, not like that, not because of that. Unlike during the rest of the conversation, you forgot that Izzy was there and that you were trying to be neutral, and you hugged Steven. You were surprised when his arms, although weakly, hugged you back.

- Steven I… -- the guitarist spoke lowly, raggedly – I am so, so sorry. But not because of what you think… fuck. You are my fucking brother, I wouldn’t do that to you in a million years, I swear on my mother. You don’t believe me now. I see why you don’t believe me, but I need you to make the effort. Yes, the guilt consumed me and still consumes me because I am in love with your girlfriend. Fuck it. I can’t do anything about it. I want you to know I tried, I need you to know I tried. All the fucking time. I saw her with you and I saw her happy, because man, she loves you so much, it’s so obvious one can tell from fifteen miles away. And I caught myself having this sick feeling of envy and fucking rage in my guts because it was you and not me who she looked at like that. And I felt guilty because it was so fucking dark it was gonna eat me alive, and then it was gonna be the band and then it was gonna be us two, and I could see the precipice coming dangerously close and it scared the hell out of me. That’s when I talked to Axl, I needed advice. I never need advice, so imagine how lost I fucking was. But I swear to you that that’s all. Nothing happened between me and her, nothing, I need you to believe that, please.

What the hell was going on now? Your body and Steven’s were slightly more separated now than when Izzy started ranting, but you were still holding his hand. Again, you had been left with no words. You didn’t know what to say because you didn’t even know what you thought. Your feelings were a blur of guilt, love, sadness, frustration, longing and a million other unidentified things, and the way you heard the brunette talk about you and him and Steven hadn’t helped clear it out. All you were absolutely certain about was that you needed the drummer to know he wasn’t right, at least not entirely. You looked at him with again watery eyes and nodded, reassuring the part of Izzy’s discourse the other boy was surely most worried about. You wanted to talk, but you weren’t sure your voice wasn’t gonna crack in the process. You tried your best:

- I promise. I promise you nothing ever happened between us two. Nothing but this kiss. Please, you have to believe me, Stevie… Steven. – you wanted to bring him closer to you by calling him that, but you were afraid it was only going to pull him further apart, like an attack to happier memories, so you backed down -- I want to be honest with you, as honest as I possibly can, because you deserve it. I’m so sorry I can’t tell you that you are entirely wrong and that I don’t have feelings for someone else, I wish I could do that, I mean it. But at this point I don’t even know what I feel. I am extremely confused. That’s why I panicked before and that’s also probably why I planned the whole thing in the first place. I don’t know, I want to believe that seeing you with the girl triggered things in me, things I didn’t know were there, and I pulled that up as a defense mechanism, and it turned out entirely wrong. I should have thought about it, I know that. The only thing I am certain of is the love I have for you, that was never arguable and will never be. And also I know that I need you to stop torturing yourself with the thought that maybe something happened between your best friend and your girlfriend, because there is absolutely nothing further from the truth.

You managed to fight the lump in your throat and finish your speech without starting to sob, though tears had been freely dancing all over your cheeks while you spoke. The man you were devoted to now looked at you with a new expression of a broken soul. His eyes didn’t look doubtful anymore, he wasn’t waiting for the brick wall of a certainty he had been chasing to crash him so hard he wouldn’t stand up again. No, he was saved from that. Instead, he was full of void. A huge emptiness that, despite how little he wanted it to, understood every word you had just said and tried to adapt the corners of his soul to this reality, new to him. He was plain and simply sad, yet saying that was an understatement.

- Maybe it was my way of getting your attention? Maybe, I don’t know, I never thought of it like that, but now that I put together all of the things that had me doubting even myself... yeah, maybe it was. Wrong way? Most definitely, I have no excuse, and you have no idea how sorry I am and how much I wish I could take it back. But I can’t. I can’t undo what I did wrong and I unfortunately can’t redo what I clearly haven’t been capable of getting right the first time.

He let go of the hand you were still holding him with, and walked away. Pain shot through you like a poisoned arrow, and you wanted to run behind him and hold him so tight you could glue back all of the pieces you felt guilty of having shattered him into. But you couldn’t do that. It was his grief, it was his sorrow, it wasn’t yours to take and manipulate, even if you wanted to move it towards what you felt was a better direction and with the best of intentions. He had to heal at his own pace, and trying to make things better would only make things worse. So instead, you stood there, looking at the corner he had disappeared behind, with two big tears rolling down your cheeks and an excruciating pain in your throat you wish could cover the pain in your heart.

A long, dark shadow approached you with doubtful steps and hugged you from behind. It was Izzy. It was obviously Izzy. What were you going to do now? You sensed there were parts of you fighting each other, but you couldn’t tell them apart. A trembling, almost weepy sigh abandoned your lungs, not even a significant portion of what you were holding inside. But you were tired. You were infinitely tired of fighting an invisible enemy, so in the middle of the inner and outer storm, you let yourself do what felt the least bad. You turned around in his embrace, just enough to face him, and you pressed your front against his. Your arms surrounded his waist, below where his arms were holding you; and your face hid in his chest, distraught tears wetting his t-shirt. There were no words, there was no need for them, and it didn’t feel any better, but it didn’t feel any worse; that was all you could have asked for. Thinking about it, in case the pain in your throat couldn’t cover the one in your heart, it was comforting to know that a long dark shadow was there to try its best to fix it.

#izzy #Izzy Stradlin #izzy angst #izzy stradlin fanfiction #izzy stradlin fanfic #izzy stradlin x reader #izzy stradlin imagine #Steven Adler #steven adler x reader #steven adler angst #guns n roses #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses x reader #angst #izzy stradlin angst #steven adler fanfiction #imagine #izzy imagine

59 notes · View notes

dusk-realm · 5 years ago

Text

Chrysanthemum [Chapter 13: Rogue]

Tagging: @featurelengthfics @thedungeonsbat @severussnapesupporter @southsiderepresent @pan-lokistan @gbatesx @a-slytherin-sin @wangmangagavroche @theblackdeath87 @zeroscarletcross @xxaamzxx @soft-slytherin-sweetie

A/N: and I said I could get this ready earlier, you know, like a liar.

Masterlist

━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━

(Y/N) sat in front of Severus’s desk, frozen and fearing him as ever, watching the man in front of her as though he was a complete stranger.

He hadn’t even sat down yet; he had been pacing back and forth behind his chair almost since he dragged her by the arm to the dungeons.

The Gryffindor table had made sure to cheer loudly at the little scene that took place in the opposite side of Great Hall. The Head of Slytherin, however, didn’t see the heroics, and he icily ordered the student to sit while he picked what he was going to say first.

The silence felt heavy in the room. The air was dense to breathe. (Y/N) felt tiny and defenseless on that chair. She’d never seen Severus angry, and she had the certainty that it would be less scary if he simply screamed at her like any other professor would do.

‘Care to remind me…’ he finally spoke, in such a soft tone that she could barely hear him, ‘what did you call Miss Parkinson?’

The apparent calmness of his voice barely masked the seeping venom of his tone.

(Y/N) didn’t answer immediately - why bother?

What did he want from her? Embarrass her? Make her feel remorseful?

Oh, she would regret this dearly, of course. Pansy Parkinson would ensure it one way or the other.

But he stopped his pacing to look at her with an arched eyebrow, and she knew she had no option but to answer.

‘...Filthy inbred swine,’ she murmured.

Severus didn’t say anything for a long while, again. (Y/N) was starting to feel like they had spent hours like that, when he laid both of his hands on his chair’s backrest and leaned forward.

‘Why?’ He breathed.

Why… Why? Was he seriously asking why?

(Y/N)’s eyebrows scrunched together.

Are you blind, Severus Snape?

Severus’ hands slammed against the wooden desk in annoyance. (Y/N) had never seen him this mad, with his lips pressed together into a thin line and his eyes fiery.

‘Answer me, girl!’ He roared.

The harshness of Severus’ voice made her cower in her seat. She wished for the chair to suddenly develop a mouth and swallow her whole right in that instant, but it didn’t come true.

She huddled a little more and hugged herself, trying to find a little bit of comfort. Her fingers softly traced the trail of bruises on her side.

They still hurted, as well as her empty stomach, and her head spun as well, but she had to bear with it.

More silence.

While the idea of just telling Snape everything was terribly attractive… Snitches get stitches.

It was a mystery what Pansy would do to her in revenge, and, to be honest, she prefered that it stayed a mystery.

After an elongated pause, Severus grew tired of waiting for an answer that wouldn’t arrive, and spoke again, firmly:

‘You will serve detention for three weeks, starting tomorrow after dinner with Professor Lockhart.’

Severus watched her intently, hoping for a reaction.

Anything.

Sending (Y/N) off with Lockhart was the professor’s last attempt to pull something out from her; an excuse, an explanation, a protest... Anything that would let him understand why his pupil had so recklessly slammed another girl’s face against the table in front of everybody else, and breaking her nose in the process.

His attempt, however, was futile.

In the end, he let her go without further conversation, tired of watching the student just sit there in silence, staring into nothing.

Maybe on another occasion, he told himself.

Severus plopped on his chair and buried his face in between his crossed arms.

He sighed softly and closed his eyes for a moment, somewhat feeling that he had failed.

He had been so sure of having (Y/N) figured out.

Severus thought... no, he could assure that (Y/N) was a pacific girl, what had gone wrong? He had not noticed anything wrong with her behavior, so he had let her be.

She was difficult to see sometimes, yes, and with food and meal times, but that wasn’t strange either in her whatsoever, as he saw in his own house, when she was under his care. The girl would skip plenty of meals without even bothering to give an excuse nor an explanation.

Severus raised his head to stare at the chair on which (Y/N) had been sitting a while ago and let out a small groan of frustration, which got lost in the solitude of his empty office.

━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━

On the next day, a rather strong arm suddenly flopped on top of (Y/N)’s shoulders, and right after, another one did the same from the opposite side.

The Slytherin panicked in the darkness of the dungeons, unable to identify the people there with her. At first, she thought it’d be Pansy and Millicent wanting a hot-served revenge, until someone spoke:

‘That was a blunt hit, you should be the next Slytherin beater.’ A boy said.

Then, the other guy hummed, and they lit their wands at the same time.

‘I’m Fred,’ said the boy that had spoken.

‘And I’m George,’ the other said.

Fred offered his hand for her to shake, and so did George, making (Y/N) cross her arms in order to shake both of their hands at the same time.

Their little game made her smile a little bit, and she introduced herself as well.

‘I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N),’ said she, as the twins led her upstairs, where the morning light bathed the castle’s insides.

‘We know!’ They exclaimed in unison.

‘Do you have plans? Care to have breakfast with us?’ George asked.

‘Uh… no, not really… wait, you don’t mean on the Gryffindor’s table, right?’

‘Yes!’ They answered in unison again.

‘(Y/N)!’ A familiar voice echoed in the corridor, and (Y/N) turned around.

‘Hermione?’ (Y/N) whipped her head to look at the Gryffindor witch, who joined the group, and they all entered into the Great Hall.

Too late to back away.

The twins sat down flanking her, near their younger brother Ron, and also with Hermione, and Harry, and Neville was also around. A few of the other Gryffindors stared at the Slytherin and whispered between them, but Hermione didn’t allow her to think too much of it.

‘(Y/N), what happened yesterday with Pansy?’ She inquired.

(Y/N) noticed how everyone was watching, even though most of them already knew about what happened, but they still wanted to hear it first hand. So much attention made her cheeks flare with embarrassment, and she tried to calm down by staring only at the rim of her skirt, under the table.

She didn’t really want to answer, though, because that would probably mean attracting even more attention to herself.

‘It was just… Pansy Parkinson being Pansy Parkinson.’ She answered, and then looked around. Neville lowered his head, and a few others nodded in quiet agreement.

While Parkinson was not the most abominable bully at Hogwarts, she sure had a history on picking on other students and sometimes even publicly humiliating them, like poor Neville.

‘You’re Slytherin’s public enemy, how does it feel like?’ asked Fred in a journalistic tone, softly elbowing her.

‘I- uh…’

True, she was still at the Gryffindor table… What would her housemates think now?

‘I think I really should leave now, before they lock me out of the common room…’

She said, and with that, (Y/N) tried to stand up and leave as soon as possible, but George grabbed her by the arm.

‘Nonsense, stay with us for today.’

━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━

(Y/N) and Hermione were heading to the library, as they used to do lately, although now they would not spend as much time together.

‘...Anyway, I don’t think I’ll stay late today, I need to show up for detention, today’s the last day.’ (Y/N) commented on their way.

‘Oh, of course… Are you still going to Professor Lockhart’s office?’ Hermione asked, and (Y/N) shrugged it off with a soft hum, as if it was no big deal.

‘I’ve been putting up with him for the last two weeks, I suppose I’ll survive another one.’ She said, watching with amusement how Hermione gritted her teeth.

Later, both girls had settled their stuff on the table and studied together, or at least they pretended to do so in front of the other. Hermione suddenly looked very indignant for some reason, and her quill slid so furiously on the parchment that she was spritzing black ink everywhere.

(Y/N) sat there staring blankly at her book.

She hadn’t been able to bring herself to continue reading it, because it reminded her of Severus.

They hadn’t talked again since he sent her to detention, not even during class.

It just… hurt.

Her heart shrank and ached each time she thought about how much she had trusted him, how she had expected him to just look out for her, and how wrong she had been in believing in him so much.

It made her cheeks burn and her limbs go numb, she felt like a fool now being aware of how much she had simply taken for granted.

‘(Y/N)?’ A tremulous voice dragged her back to reality, and (Y/N) glanced up at Hermione with glassy eyes.

‘Yes?’

‘Are… are you alright?’ Hermione’s eyebrows were scrunched together with concern, seeing how her friend was at the verge of tears.

‘Yeah… I was just… thinking of returning this book.’ Said she. (Y/N) gently placed her hand on the over the title Moste Potente Potions and felt the leathery cover with her fingertips. Yes, returning it was probably the best idea.

Hermione saw her chance, and cleared her throat. The trio’s lucubrations were now trailing off more towards Draco Malfoy, and they still needed the book to rat him out as the Slytherin heir.

‘Are you not interested anymore? Can I have a look?’

(Y/N) pondered it for a minute. Would Snape know? Probably not, and she was not sure the he would give a damn anymore anyways, but, on the other hand… could she risk making him angry? it was a book from the Restricted Section, after all, and there were reasons as to why not any student could access it...

‘I don’t think I should let you, Hermione, sorry.’

‘Why not? Snape mentioned it in class, didn’t he?’ The Gryffindor protested, a little more hot-tempered that she would’ve wanted.

‘Professor Snape signed a note for me to borrow it, perhaps you could ask him to sign one for you as well?’ (Y/N) put away her belongings in her bag and stood up, ‘I’ll return it now anyways, I don’t want it anymore.’

Then, (Y/N) bid goodbye and left the library after a brief talk with Madam Pince.

‘Moste Potente Potions?’ Madam Pince repeated suspiciously, trying to take the note from Hermione; but Hermione wouldn’t let go.

‘I was wondering if I could keep it,’ she said breathlessly.

After (Y/N) announced her intention of returning the book, Hermione had been fast to fetch Harry and Ron to accompany her to check out the volume.

‘Oh, come on,’ said Ron, wrenching it from her grasp and thrusting it at Madam Pince. ‘We’ll get you another autograph. Lockhart’ll sign anything if it stands still long enough.’

Madam Pince held the note up to the light, as though determined to detect a forgery, but it passed the test. She stalked away between the lofty shelves and returned several minutes later carrying a large and moldy-looking book. Hermione put it carefully into her bag and they left, trying not to walk too quickly or look too guilty.

The term seemed to get wilder and wilder day by day; soon, the news that Harry Potter had caught the snitch during a Slytherin versus Gryffindor quidditch match started spreading much to Draco Malfoy’s dismay, the Slytherin’s seeker. It wouldn’t had been that extraordinary if he hadn’t broken his arm in the attempt, and Lockhart had erased his bones while trying to mend them, leaving Harry in the Hospital wing with fleshy gelatin as a limb. On the same day, there was another attack. The new victim was Colin Creevey, a first year Gryffindor that was completely obsessed with Harry Potter and chased him around taking pictures of the living legend. Now, his body laid stiff and cold to the touch in the infirmary, waiting for a cure.

All the first years walked around in packs, tightly pressed against each other as they looked everywhere. (Y/N) was extra wary as well, as she couldn’t erase Pansy’s words from her mind.

No Slytherin had been attacked so far, but that fact alone would not suffice to calm her down; the legend of Hogwart’s founding told that the school had been founded over a thousand years ago by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age.

The four school Houses are named after them: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. The castle was built far from prying Muggle eyes, as it was an age when magic was feared by muggles, and witches and wizards suffered much persecution.

The founders worked in harmony together, seeking out youngsters who showed signs of magic and bringing them to the castle to be educated. But then, after some years, disagreements sprang up between them. A rift began to grow between Slytherin and the others. Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed that magical learning should be kept within all-magic families. He disliked taking students of Muggle parentage, believing them to be untrustworthy. After a while, there was a serious argument on the subject between Slytherin and Gryffindor, and Slytherin left the school. Slytherin had built a hidden chamber in the castle, of which the other founders knew nothing and, according to the legend, sealed the Chamber of Secrets so that none would be able to open it until his own true heir arrived at the school, who would unseal the Chamber of Secrets and use it to purge the school of all who were unworthy to study magic.

(Y/N) thought that the Slytherins were a bit too overconfident; while the builder of the chamber was Salazar Slytherin himself, what guaranteed that no Slytherin would be harmed? The purge had begun with the muggleborns of other Houses, yes, but why wouldn’t the cleansing reach the Slytherin House as well? Wouldn’t the heir want eliminate those unworthy of being in Slytherin by the status of their blood? What would happen to muggleborns? Or… Half-bloods, like Severus himself!

Severus...

━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━

December rolled in quite quickly, and although her detention had ended a long ago, (Y/N) was still sore with her protector. The girl still refused to talk to him about how her classmates treated her, and decided that it would be wisest to move on and deal with the matter on her own, as she had been doing in the past.

Truth be told, (Y/N) felt at her loneliest. While she had a handful of new friends, the weakness of their bond was almost tangible for the Slytherin, and their thinly veiled conventions left her to feel incomplete. Their company was never enough, as she found those relations way too shallow. Too new, too superficial and too irrelevant for her to really enjoy. Each of them had different interests, and different chores to do and deal with, which created a growing feeling of frustration, feeling that her loneliness could not be mended.

The motivation to earn points was also long gone.

Her absenteeism had started only due to the time she was obliged to waste in detention, and she had even missed helping around in her free time, mostly when she could’ve been with McGonagall or Flitwick instead of the swanky Professor Lockhart. However, once her detention was over… what was the point?

Why bother struggling so much to earn points for her House, when her work would go unnoticed?

What for, if not even Severus would be looking?

Why risk it, when there was a monster on the loose, and nobody knew who could be its next victim?

Her abulia soon translated even to the classroom; while the term had started with a heart fluttering with enthusiasm, (Y/N) now limited her performance to sitting in class and staying in silence. The Slytherin’s behavior was still pretty much unproblematic, but her mind was obviously in another place.

Her apathy, though, did not go completely unnoticed.

#severus snape #professor snape #pro severus snape #Pro Snape #snape x reader #slytherin #chrysanthemum #writing #fanfiction #fanfiction writing #hp #harry potter #hogwarts #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #snapedom

91 notes · View notes

dyaz-stories · 5 years ago

Note

The classic 154

Aaah,bless you for sending this, this is honestly one of my favoritetrope I was so happy to get this!

154. “There’s only one bed”

So this is more or less a follow-upto my Pregnant from a one-night Stand AU, which I hope you won’tmind! It’s not a direct follow-up, and I’ll probably write moreone-shots around this in semi-continuity. I’ll tag people whomentioned they’d be interested in reading more of this here, feel free to let me know if you’d like to be tagged for this… or not (this would be updated super irregularly to be honest). Hopeyou enjoy!

@cammysansstuff @tsukinohimeusagi @umacaking @inuyashaeienni @coquinespike

“Yeah,yeah, I’m coming!”Inuyasha growled, walking to the door. “Ain’t no need to teardown the fucking— Kagome?”

Shit.That woman needed to stop surprising him like that, because here shewas, standing on his doorstep with her son — theirson — in her arms, and he had probably just made a total ass ofhimself. Again.

“Hi,I’m sosorry to come here without a warning but—”

“Notat all,” he managed to mumble. “Don’t stay out there, c’monin. Ah, and don’t pay attention to the mess.” He wasn’t exactlyknown for being organized and, well, the place could definitely haveused some cleaning, but Kagome didn’t say anything when she walkedin, holding Hoshiki tightly against her.

Shestill took in the small apartment. The room when they were in barelyhad enough space for a table and two chairs, plus a TV and aarmchair. There was nothing on the walls, and it all felt somewhatimpersonal. From where she was, she could see the door opening onwhat she assumed was his room. It wasn’t big or anything, but shedecided it suited him. Despite knowing him for a short while, shecould tell it wouldn’t have been like him to have more space thanstrictly needed.

Inuyashagrinned when his son reached out for him, recognizing him not onlyphysically but in his scent, just like he had identified him quicklywhen they had first met. It was then that he really looked at Kagome.She wasn’t even wearing a coat, even though they were in autumn,and she looked surprisingly lost.

“Here,let me take ‘im,” he offered.

Shehanded the boy to him without a word, then rubbed her arms, and hecouldn’t help but frown. He felt strongly protective of the woman,though they had only known each other for a while — and even then,saying they kneweach other seemed like a very strong term to describe their actualrelationship.

“What’sgoing on?” he asked her, his voice deep and serious while hemotioned to grab his red jacket and put it on her shoulders.

Atthat, she started, but there was an ocean of gratitude in her eyeswhen she looked up at him. Something that made him feel a littleuncomfortable, or at least, that was how he interpreted this strangestir in his stomach.

“Therewas a fire at my apartment complex,” she mumbled, wrapping herselftightly in the garment. “We had to go out in a rush, though theythink they’ll be able to minimize the damage, apparently but— Myfamily’s out of town and I didn’t where to go and—”

“Don’t,”he interrupted her, ignoring the feeling of dread he’d gotten whenshe mentioned the danger they had both been in but holding his son alittle tighter against him. He felt the fierce urge to protect themboth, probably a normal instinct among other demons, but its strengthtook him by surprise just now. “No need to apologize. If ya don’tmind, you can spend the night here, and then we’ll see tomorrow howthis turns out, if that’s fine with ya.”

Shegave him a weak smile. “That sounds good,” she replied softly.

“Helooks exhausted anyway,” he said, pointing at Hoshiki whose headwas already resting on his chest, “so, erm, I— I have a cradlefor him. We can put him in the living room. There’s only one bed,but you can take it, ‘kay?”

Hefelt weirdly self-conscious for how small his place was. Not that hewould have had any need for more; but still, somehow he would haveliked to be able to give them more than this.

“Youhave a cradle?” Kagome asked, tilting her head.

Hefelt himself blushing a little. “So what?” he growled, probablymore defensive than he needed to be. Yeah, he’d bought one, just incase, or quite possibly in hope,that they would come to an arrangement when he would spend more timewith the kid. Up until then, they had seen each other a few times,and she had even left him with Hoshiki for a couple of hours at apark. He understood that she wanted to make sure he would be good forthe child, and he respected that he had to earn that trust, but thatdidn’t mean a guy couldn’t dream, right?

“Nothing,”she said, shaking her head, trying with little success to hide herbright smile. She loved that he was getting more involved inHoshiki’s life, and that he clearly wanted more. The more love thekid could get, the better. “Just… I’m afraid he’s making histeeth at the moment, so the night might not be easy.”

Hefrowned a little at the information. He couldn’t help but feel alittle… Maybe not hurt, but sad that he didn’t know that. Hewanted to be there for that stuff too; not just the happy moments,but also the crappy ones. Because it was his son, sure, but alsobecause he wanted to take parts of that burden off of her. “Yeah,that ain’t easy for us,” he mumbled. “Because we heal so fast,y’know? So it can take a while. Anyway, don’t worry ‘bout it. Idon’t mind.”

Kagomenodded, uncertain of what she should say now, swaying on her feet. Itoccurred to her that she was in a near stranger’s apartment, andfor a second, she was genuinely worried about it. But seeing the manholding her baby — again, theirbaby — so gently and carefully, knowing he’d bought a cradle forthe kid, she just had that strange conviction that everything wouldbe alright. She was rather good with her intuition, most of the time.Not to plan what was going to happen to her, clearly, but she wasrarely wrong when she saw good in people.

“Wannause the bathroom while I get him ready?” he offered, taking hermind away from her thoughts. “Y’can borrow one of my shirts ifyou’re okay with that.”

“Oh,sure, thanks!“

“Just—Grab one in my room, ‘kay? The bathroom’s over there,” hepointed out, though it really wasn’t necessary considering howsmall the place was. “There are clean towel under the sink if youneed any and—”

“Thankyou, Inuyasha,” she chuckled lightly, resting a hand on his arm fora moment. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. Oh, and I’ve started usingthe gloves you gave me! He doesn’t really have claws yet, but Ithought better safe than sorry, right?”

Hewatched her as she reached in her bag and then handed it to him. Thefabric had survived the years without any problem, and he suspectedhis father had owned it for a very long time, until his mom had usedit for this, after his dad no longer needed it. His throat tightenedas he watched her putting them on the kid carefully.

Itfelt weird. To see someone actually loving a half-demon, it felt…It felt weird, but it also felt good.

Hecouldn’t help the way his eyes followed her in the bathroom, butthen he shook his head, attempting to get himself back on track.

“Let’sget you in bed before your mama comes back, buddy,” he toldHoshiki. He earned a happy babble, and he couldn’t help but smileas his heart swelled with the most intense sort of love he’d everfelt. Nothing could compare to what he felt for this little guy. Itwas very different from anything else he had ever experienced, but heknew he’d do anything for him, do anything so he wouldn’t behurt.

Andsurely, what he was feeling for Kagome was just an extension of that.

Whenshe came out of the shower, she found him sitting on a chair next toa sleeping Hoshiki, and once more, a new warmth filled her chest. Itwasn’t like she had thought she was lackingsomething,nor that she believed she wasn’t giving enough to her baby, butthere was just something truly special about seeing Inuyasha herewith him.

Helooked up almost immediately, and an unusual tension seemed to arisebetween them. She noticed the way his eyes took her in, the way theywidened just a little and then how, when he glanced away, hisshoulders and his jaw had tensed. She herself found she needed torepress a shiver.

Yeah.Things… Things were weird. It would have been useless denying theyfound each other attractive. Hoshiki was truly the proof of that,wasn’t he? But they hadn’t planned on a tomorrow. Well— if shewas honest, she wouldn’t have minded, that night. Sure, he’dgotten on her nerves a bit, but she had thought there was so muchmore to that broody guy under the surface, and she would have lovedto discover more. She had even considered bringing it up in themorning. Except that he had been gone when she woke up. Hotel roomwas paid, which she appreciated, but the encounter had still felt abit bitter.

Sheguessed she understood him much better now. Still, they had avoidedweird moments in the time they had spent together since theirencounter, but it probably couldn’t last forever. Sooner or later,they would have to address it.

“Whereare you going to sleep?” she asked him softly. She hadn’t givenit much thought, but he didn’t have a couch, after all.

“GuessI’ll take the floor or something,” he shrugged, avoiding hereyes.

Whata fucking moron he was. Offering her to take a shower? He should haveknownit would make her scent come out, and he already found itirresistible the rest of the fucking time… And the shirt? What waswrongwith him? This was basics for a dog-demon. The mix of his scent withhers just made him feel more… More… Ah, dammit.

Worstpart was, maybe it had been intentional, to a degree. He already knewthe way his instincts considered her, after all. Still, it just feltwrong. She didn’t know about it, and he didn’t how to express anyof his emotions when it came to her.

“Ohno,” she protested, frowning. “I can’t let you do that! I’dfeel horrible!”

Heblinked a couple of times, looking at her in confusion.

“Thenwhat d’ya suggest?” It came out more agressive then he’dintended, and he cursed himself. He needed to fucking work on that.At least around her, and particularly around the kid. He would hateto snap at him like that just because he couldn’t do better.

Kagomedidn’t seem to be bothered. She simply rolled her eyes. “We’readults, Inuyasha. We can share a bed.” Weliterally have a child together.

Heswallowed, then nodded. “Keh. Yeah. You’d better not take all theblankets.” Shit, why was he so ridiculous? “Go ahead. I’ll trynot to wake you up when I arrive.”

Shegave him a satisfied smile, but before stepping out of the room, shetook a few steps towards him. “I really appreciate how much youtake care of Hoshiki, and that you’re letting us stay here for thenight” she said gently. “I just want you to know it goes bothway, okay?”

Fuck.He had… He had a really hard time dealing with people being nice tohim. Thankfully — or, well, maybe not — it didn’t happen often,but he hoped he didn’t look ridiculous when he didn’t sayanything back and simply nodded.

Onlythen, looking like someone happy with a work well done, did she walkout of the room.

Whenhe joined her after a long, coldshower, she was on her side, and based on her soft, even breath, heassumed that she was already asleep. Which was a relief, probably, hethought as he silently slipped in bed next to her. Despite his words,he pulled most of the blanket on her. She had looked really cold whenshe had walked in, and he, as a half-demon, wasn’t really sensitiveto that sort of stuff.

Afterwatching her back for a few moments, wondering what was going throughher mind, and also how she could fall asleep at a stranger’s placeso easily, with an anger he couldn’t quite understand but which heassumed to still be part of his protectiveness, he finally closed hiseyes.

Heexpected sleep to be hard to find, particularly with her by his side,but while her scent made it impossible to focus just a few momentsearlier, right now, he found that having her and his son close to himmade him relax easily. Probably still something that came from hisinstincts, at the thought that his family — his pack, perhaps —was around him, where he could protect them. Not that the priestesswho was sleeping next to him would have needed any, but still.

Itonly took a couple of minutes before he was sound asleep.

Kagomejerked up as the first cry broke through the night. For one second,she felt panicked and bewildered, not recognizing her surroundings,but still hearing her son screaming. Hoshiki!She needed to— Ah, right, she was at Inuyasha’s place. Still, shetried to get herself out of bed and pull herself from under theblankets she seemed to be entangled in, despite his warning.

“That’sokay,” a sleepy voice mumbled, next to her. “Don’t move, I gotit.”

Sheturned around to find Inuyasha’s back, sitting on the bed, hissilver hair reflecting the pale light of the moon.

“Heprobably needs changing,” she said. “I have—”

“Don’tworry, I have everything I need,” he yawned, standing up andstretching himself, giving her a nice view at his back, and shedidn’t know what impressed her more, the muscles or the fact thathe had apparently truly thought this through and was taking this soseriously. She picked the latter as she let her head fall back on thepillow. Wow. It had been an eternitysince she had been able to do that. She watched as he walked out ofthe room, and listened as the crying stopped, replaced by his deepwhisper.

Aftera few moments, she got up and tiptoed to the room. She found Hoshikichanged, and Inuyasha holding him in his arms, maybe somewhatclumsily but very tenderly, trying to get him to go back to sleep.She took a moment to watch them, as she was filled with warmth onceagain. When Inuyasha looked up, she finally approached them, leaningtowards the kid over his shoulder.

“Youcan put him back in, he will fall asleep soon,” she explainedsoftly. “He’s a very calm baby, and he doesn’t fall asleep aseasily if we’re around.”

“Erm,yeah, I just— I guess I just wanted to—” He stopped himself,embarrassed. He was probably being ridiculous, but he had a hard timeadmitting how much he cared for the kid out loud. He hadn’t knownhim for long, but he would still die for him.

“Tohold him?” Kagome rested his head on his shoulder for a moment,holding out a finger for the kid to catch in his hand, but she pulledit out of reach before he could put it in his mouth. “No honey,”she cooed, “you know it took a week for mama to heal last time!”

Inuyashagrinned. “Keh, already a fighter, aren’t ya? But you should pickbetter opponents, buddy. Your mom isn’t exactly a threat.”

Kagomelaughed at his words. “Don’t listen to your dad,” shecontinued. “Trustme,I’m the most dangerous person you’ll encounter.”

“Bythat, she means she’ll be the one who’ll say no when you want togo out late.”

“Exactly.”

Thentheir eyes met, shining with the complicity of a moment shared. Shewas smiling brightly, and even he was smirking, and somethingpassed between them. They didn’t have the time to identify it, butit was probably at that moment that it became obvious that theycouldn’t walk away from each other. It wasn’t just about theone-night stand — they sharedsomething. Hoshiki, obviously, but it became clear thenthat it was about more than blood. It was about the love and the carethey had for him. They wouldbe together in this, one way or another.

“I’mgoing to bed,” Kagome said, still keeping her voice low. “You canstay with him if you want, but just know, he’s going to wake upseveral more times during the night. If I were you, I’d enjoy thesleep while I can.”

Hesighed, but followed her advice. These were things he wished he knewalready, but the best thing he could do for Hoshiki was to learn. Andboy, did he want to.

Helaid the kid back down as she walked out of the room, stroking hisface gently and earning a happy little laugh for it. Fuck. Was itpossible to love someone so much you could die? Because he definitelyfelt like that right now. He took a few more moments there, juststaring back in his son’s eyes, silently promising him that hewould neverlet him go through the same things he had experienced. He’d movemountains for him if he had to, and right now, he felt like he couldchange the world for him too. But he wouldn’t let him get hurt. Notever.

Hejoined Kagome once more, trying to be as silent as possible. Still,only a few seconds after he had laid down, she called out “Inuyasha?”

Herolled around to find her facing him, and she stared into his goldeneyes with a happy expression he didn’t recall ever seeing whensomeone was looking at him. “I’m really glad you’re here,”she said. “I think it’s really important for Hoshiki, and I’m—I’m glad it’s you.You’re doing a great job with him already.”

Damn.He didn’t know why, but he felt like crying. He hadn’t cried whenhe had found out he had a son, maybe because of all the ways he knewhe could fuck this up, but this?This was getting to him.

Beforehe could reply, as he willed back, she leaned in and kissed him onthe cheek, softly. “So you won’t mind getting up for him for thenight, right?”

Therewas a teasing tone in his voice, and he chuckled in response. “You’relucky I like the kid.”

“He’sa great kid,” she said warmly. “We can try to make you meet more,if you’d like to. I’ll see what’s happening for my apartment,and then we can figure that out, okay?”

“Let’sdo that.”

“Youshould really try to get some sleep.”

“Iwould if you stopped talking.”

Therewas another laugh. It wasn’t that different from Hoshiki, hedecided, and this had to be why he liked it that much.

Yeah.That hadto be the reason.

Kagomewoke up as the sun was rising after the first good night of sleep shehad gotten in forever.She looked at the arm around her waist in confusion, and when shetried to turn around, she found Inuyasha pressed against her, hisface buried in her neck. He seemed deeply asleep, and she couldn’tblamed him. He had gotten up several more times in the night, and sheknew of experience how hard that could be.

Shetried to get up without waking him up, but he jumped the second shemoved. For a brief moment, he looked horrified when he looked at her,but before she could gather why, he had removed his arms and wasscrambling back.

“Shit,‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’sokay,” she soothed him immediately. She hadn’t minded, really. Infact, if she was honest, it had been… rather nice. “Just stayhere. Do you have something to make breakfast?”

Therewas a moment of silence.

“Ithink I have eggs. Want me to help?”

“Youshould—”

“I’ma half-demon,remember? I don’t need nearly as much sleep as humans.”

Hermouth dropped open. Oh wow, that explained a lotaboutHoshiki, and she had no idea about that.

“Imean, you don’t have to,” she said hesitantly. “You let us staythe night, that’s the least I can do.”

Andthis was how Inuyasha found himself in front of scrambled eggs whileKagome proceeded to breastfeed Hoshiki. This felt good. It feltright. It felt… It felt like a family.

Well,up until she took a look at her phone, gasped, and got up. “Ireally need to go. Apparently they saved most apartments, but I stillneed to check it as soon as possible. You have my number, right?Just— Call me and we’ll figure something out for Hoshiki.”

Already,she was hurrying to gather her stuff. Before he knew it, she was atthe door, where he joined her to open it.

“Thankyou,Inuyasha,” she said as she walked out. “I mean it. I owe you.”Her hand brushed against his for just an instant, and withoutthinking, he briefly squeezed her fingers. The contact lasted a fewseconds more than necessary, and he hoped that it conveyed what hecouldn’t say out loud. That he didn’t want her to owe him, thathe wanted to become a part of her life, of theirlife, and that he wanted this to be normal. That he wanted her to beable to count on him.

Whenher smile widened, he decided it did.

Hehad a hard time going back in his apartment, even long after she hadleft his hallway. It felt strange now. Empty. Like this wasn’t hisplace, because his place was with them. Not— not necessarilyKagome, well, maybe not or— shit, he had no idea what was goingthere.

Still,his place was definitely by his son’s side.

Hehad never expected that the two of them would change him this much,when they had walked into his life, and now, after just a night athis place, he couldn’t stand the idea that they were gone.

Hegrinned, remembering Hoshiki’s laugh and what it had felt to holdhim.

Hewouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Wow I hadn’t realized I loved papaYasha that much, but writingthis isgetting to me. Expectan “origin story” for this at some point ;) Hope you liked it!

#inuyasha #kagome #inukag #inuyasha fanfiction #kagome higurashi #my writing #asks

173 notes · View notes

poorreputation · 5 years ago

Text

SPN 1X02 Wendigo Retrospective Meta

Tagging: @emblue-sparks @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @evvvissticante @dea-stiel @sudo-apt-get-destiel @wildligia

Summary (via IMDB) Sam and Dean make a stop at Blackwater Ridge and end up helping a young woman and her brother find their other brother, who mysteriously disappeared, while on a camping trip, in the woods.

Teleplay by: Eric Kripke

Story by: Ron Milbauer and Terri Hughes Burton

Directed by: David Nutter

Post under the cut:

Episode Notes:

Our first Then-Now segment.

November 2, 1983- This, combined with Jess' tragic death, establishes it's been 22 years between the Winchester's lives being ruined by fires. The Pilot, oddly enough, didn't make the significance of the dates clear. I chock it up to the Pilot having so many drafts. that some plot relevant stuff got lost in the shuffle.

And, now our title card has sound! The first time we see SPN's logo, it's completely silent. Again, constant tweaks between episodes.

Blackwater Ridge

Lost Creek, Colorado

We open on 3 people camping, as one dude calls his sister Haley to deliver exposition.

Of course they're being hunted in the woods, as the camera gives us a monster's eye view.

Haley's brother (still nameless) is reading when one of his friends is attacked. Now, knowing this production crew, there must be some significance to the book he's reading-

-it's Joseph Campbell's The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Who, in this book, wrote of the Hero's Journey.

I- I'm, I can't, Kripke, no. It's only episode 2, slow down. Please. You're getting ahead of yourself.

Gary's fucked. Bye, Gary.

Palo Alto, California

Confirmed, Jess died on 11/2.

Sam expresses grief, and then regret, in not telling Jess the truth, as we're treated to a bad jump scare that only got me the first time.

Dean offering to let Sam drive, to get his mind off of things, asking how Sam's doing. Doesn't buy it when Sam shrugs it off.

To find Jess' killer, they have to find John, who is nowhere to be found.

Connecting the dots already between Mary and Jess.

Blackwater Ridge

Lost Creek, Colorado

A bunch of abandoned gold and silver mines, hmmm...

Haley sounds like a worried older sibling. I'm sure Dean can relate.

Sam assumes Dean wants to get in Haley's pants, while Sam just wants to find John as quickly as possible. Dean notes his brother's change in attitude to "shoot first and ask questions later".

Tommy's his name. Tommy Collins. Alright.

Oof, Haley's really the older sibling. Looks like there's a 2nd brother, too, that she's cooking for. Reminds me of flashbacks of younger Dean, providing for Sam. Haley's very observant, as well, asking for ID and noting Dean's unusual car.

Parents gone, only "two brothers and me", not "us three". Call it clunky writing, or call it Haley identifying herself not as her sibling's equal, but as the one in charge.

Dean connecting with Haley on her urgent need to find Tommy, "I think I know how you feel." At first, one would think he's just referring to John, but everything we've seen thus far from Haley screams as someone searching for a little sibling/feeling parental.

Haley shows Sam and Dean Tommy's last message (recorded on his fucking flip phone. Tommy would be the kind of person to use a go-pro or a selfie stick). Every 23 years. Alright, first off, I love how cryptic the Pilot was about the monster reveal, while here it's just 'Wendigo' in the title. Second, the similarity between the Wendigo and what John's ultimately hunting: a creature killing every 20 or so years. Maybe the slight difference of 22 years vs. 23 made John leave. Or, he figured out it was a Wendigo, and dumped the case on his kids without any heads-up.

Sam and Dean interview a Wendigo survivor from '59, someone who was so young when it happened, no one believed him. It all got swept under the rug as a Grizzly attack.

A little detail I'm noticing now; the Wendigo is vulnerable to fire, that's why it left the kid in '59 alive. The boy had fallen asleep in front of the cabin fireplace. And earlier, the Wendigo, just before killing Tommy's friend, hesitated at the sight of the campfire.

Sam and Dean figuring out the creature has to be corporeal, ruling out spirits and demons as potential culprits, means John probably knew, too. Knowing John's looking for the Yellow Eyed Demon this whole time...

Sam wants to tell Haley the truth to keep her from going into the woods, and Dean counters with this:

Dean: "Her brother's missing, Sam. She's not gonna just sit this out."

To further my point from before; the focus is on the worry a guardian would have for a dependent. Dean sees John as the man with all the answers. Dean relates to Haley not because his worries over John are equal to Haley's about Tommy, but because he's probably fretted over Sam the same way. An alternative, and equally valid point, though, would be Dean sympathizing with Haley over losing 'Family', as I brought up in 1X01, when Dean insists to Sam he's not only a Hunter, deep down, but a Winchester.

Sam: "Finding Dad's not enough? Now we gotta babysit, too?" (at the idea of Haley coming with them on the Hunt). The glare Dean gives in response to this shows how much Sam is missing the point.

The guy Haley hired is just trying to do his job. I used to be annoyed with him, but with this rewatch, I'm more annoyed at Dean. Dean's the one who insists they can't tell anyone their secret, and yet they (Sam and Dean) could've benefited from cooperating with Haley's group. It makes Dean come across as an arrogant know-it-all who dismisses the help of an expert despite being on such unfamiliar terrain.

We catch up with Tommy, who sees his friend get eaten. That's gonna need some therapy.

Dean starts sizing up the guide Haley hired, Roy, and Dean's doing the whole "Well, has anything ever hunted you back?" shtick. Right as Roy saves Dean's ass from a bear trap.

After Haley confronts Dean (who up to this point has just been giving Roy a hard time), he tells her part of the truth; he and Sam are really brothers, and they're looking for their father. Telling Haley this is the "most honest I've (Dean) been with a woman. Ever."

M&Ms as provisions. Of course, Dean. Only a 26 year old can get away with that.

Roy calls the group over to Tommy's campsite, which is wrecked.

Haley finds Tommy's phone. It must seem like any chance of getting in touch with her brother is gone for good. Dean comes up and assures her Tommy could still be alive. I'm sure Dean's felt this many times with John, especially now.

The Wendigo mimics a man's voice, lures everyone away, and takes the distraction as an opportunity to destroy/steal the group's supplies.

Putting it all together, Sam figures out it's a Wendigo. He tries to talk the group into going back to the cars, not giving the whole truth, and Roy's, rightfully, fed up. Think of it from Roy's perspective; these two actual babies come waltzing in, clearly lying about their government job, almost getting themselves caught in a bear trap, Sam and Dean must seem like a couple of walking disasters.

Poor Roy. Your greatest crime has been using logic.

Now, thiiis, referring to the Wendigo as not only a Hunter, but the perfect Hunter.

Dean: "Nobody likes a skeptic, Roy." Dean, you were pulling that shit with Roy, first. "Well, has anything ever hunted you back?" Having all the answers doesn't make you any less of a douche.

Sam and Dean come to the conclusion John has probably never set foot in Lost Creek. I still stand by the idea John checked it out, and then ruled it out. Sam and Dean have so little to go off of, in finding John, they're grasping at straws.

"Saving people, hunting things. The family business." Connecting what the Winchesters do as Hunters, and the Wendigo itself is the perfect Hunter. More on that, later...

Why doesn't John just call, play it to them straight? Because Sam won't listen to John, but he will listen to Dean, who's bought John's philosophy hook, line and sinker. And, John's so obsessed with revenge he sees nothing wrong with this.

The Wendigo once again tries to trick the group.

Bye, Roy.

It's the next day, and everyone left tries to regroup.

Sam and Dean fill Haley and her remaining brother in on Wendigos. Since the only instance of people being up in Lost Creek were miners, I'm guessing the Wendigo was a worker who got lost/trapped in a tunnel collapse with only their fellow miners to keep them company. And fed.

So, Wendigos are creatures who were once people, but give in to cannibalism. They then develop an insatiable hunger, but never turn wild; they're still very much Human.

Hi, Roy. Nice to see you're still hanging around.

Dean and Haley have been kidnapped, who could have ever seen this coming?

Dean's trail of M&Ms leads Sam and Haley's brother to an abandoned mine. Sam and the brother fall through the floor, finding the Wendigo's kitchen. They find Dean, Haley, as well as Tommy.

Dean volunteering himself as bait is tragically typical.

For once, Sam has to look up (at the Wendigo).

Okay, real quick, I appreciate the time and energy it took to make the Wendigo costume. For obvious budgetary reasons, SPN relies on monsters that conveniently look Human, so it's a real treat for the baddie to actually look monstrous.

Haley: "Must you cheapen the moment?" ladies, gents and distinguished individuals, this is Dean propositioning someone without saying a word and using only his facial expressions. People are gonna get confused over the next 14 seasons over Dean not verbalizing he wants to fuck, but I'm happy to say he's been doing it from the start. Bonus points is that Haley instead gives Dean a kiss on the cheek, which seems to fluster Dean, implying he wasn't actually expecting her to respond. Almost like Dean's putting up a front, or something.

Sam takes Dean up on his offer to drive, how sweet.

Post Episode Meta/Notes:

(These were all written during the episode, so if the flow feels weird, that's why. I just want to try sticking meta related stuff at the end)

(After Sam and Dean realize John was never in Lost Creek) Another thing, though, is this shows a similarity between John and Sam; with a 'bigger' hunt in mind, they're willing to let 'smaller' cases pass by. Call it selfish (it kinda is) call it what you will. Now, look at Dean. He may be arrogant, yes, but he can step into someone else's shoes and understand they need help. Haley's just gonna blunder into the Wendigo's clutches, otherwise. This is an example of, despite the separation of time, John and Sam have a lot in common.

(After going into the origins of the Wendigo) A person gives up their Humanity to become the perfect Hunter, but is forever consumed by hunger... for flesh, or revenge?

(After Dean and Haley get kidnapped) OH WAIT I'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG.

Roy is a stand-in for John. Older Hunter that's been at it for as long as Sam's been alive, acting condescendingly towards the younger Hunters, undermining their ability. Dean's giving Roy a hard time because he can't and won't say the same to John's face.

After that whole speech from Dean about all John knows being in his journal, and having that book bestowed upon him and Sam, it started to click for me.

That’s my take on 1X02 Wendigo! Thank you for reading, share your thoughts, and let me know if you wanna be tagged in my next meta on older Supernatural episodes! And, if you’re interested in more content about this particular episode, I have a post on both it and 14X16 Don’t Go in the Woods!

https://poorreputation.tumblr.com/post/183625991916/spn-14x16-dont-go-in-the-woods-meta?is_related_post=1

#SPN #S1 #1X02 #Wendigo #Meta #writers #writing

12 notes · View notes