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#have more angst
blazingphantom · 2 years
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Wendell & Wild Oneshot
Summary: Overcoming self-guilt isn't easy. But Helley's there to help a certain Overlord.
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"It's surprising how long I haven't seen my house in ages." Sister Helley muses too himself slotting her keys into the keyhole, one hand resting on the front door. Ever since she took her job up as a nun, she practically lived in RBC School. She wasn't exactly complaining, but she did miss her house time to time- it was only a normal human thing. And the fact Rustbank was bursting with life once more? Made her a bit emotional. But at the same time, it was purely amazing. Too long where the streets and town abandoned. Every night slowly and gradually- every born resident just leaving one by one. It greatly disheartened her, but she always reminded herself. She would never leave, the girls in RBC needed her. And Helley adored her job, she loved teaching the girls.
"Surprised it's even intact still." A deeper voice shakes her out her thoughts. And Helley just smiles widely, glancing behind her shoulder and catching the glimpse of a much bigger, blue form. Buffalo Belzer stands a few feet behind her. Donned in a mustard-colored turtleneck and baggy wide legged black trousers. Which was a rarity, a thing that only happened once every blue moon. Currently standing at 8 feet tall. Despite being shrunk down, he still dwarfed everyone. His visitor form he called it, only switching into it when he wanted to get personal or just overall visit. Well, obviously he couldn't do it at 300ft. She and him had come back from the local diner. An outing if you'd call it that. Kat and Raul were there too as well. It was mostly a get together for all of them. And relaxation for the adults.
"You'd be taken aback. Mariana agreed to tidy and keep my house clean." Helley tells Belzer matter-of-factly, pushing the door inwards and stepping inside. The demon overlord trails after, ducking his head so his horns don't scrape the paint on the ceiling.
Belzer glances around and takes in the interior design. It's- well cozy. All the houses in Rustbank seemed to just instantly have that homey feel. He had to admit- he was really fond of it. And this was coming from a partially cave-dwelling infernal being. His gaze drifts down to the oakwood shelf that is aligned near the wall. Discreetly studying the picture frames. Some of her and her mother, and then... Helley and Manberg. Together her as a child. Belzer still found their relationship complicated. Maybe she forgot about that picture? But hey, he couldn't really say anything it wasn't his business. "You can stay here long as you want. But I have a curfew in bed by 11:45." Helley's voice resounds from the living room. Belzer blinks and winces as the lights suddenly comes on. He peaks his head into the living room and oo's quietly. A red sofa is up against the wall and a medium sized TV is sat on a coffee table. The curtains are drawn and block out the darkness of outside. "I wasn't one for decor." Helley shrugs her shoulders, "but it's home." She smiles and heads into the kitchen. "You want something? Water- or.." She swings open the fridge and frowns too herself, "water." Humming she turns to face him and rubs her hands together, "have to go shopping anyways." Belzer curiously heads on over and reaches his hand toward the very top and his fingers briefly skim the surface of something hard. Grabbing it briskly and bringing it down to his eye-level. It was... "Beer!" He exclaims triumphantly with a toothy grin. Helley whirls around and walks back to him, reading the date. Avoiding Belzer's teasingly accusing gaze with practiced focus and pure dedication.
"Huh, well it is in date. You have it." Helley pats his arm reassuringly and gets herself a glass of cold water. Belzer rummages around in the open cupboard and grabs a glass, pouring in the contents. Helley heads over to the sofa and sighs softly to herself. "Put on the TV if you want. I'm going to get changed for bed." "Mm." Is all Belzer says very visibly enjoying the comfiness of the couch. Ears twitching as the resounding footsteps of Helley slowly get quieter and quieter. It was all silent now. Silent. Belzer's eyes softened slightly, and he looked around the room. He wasn't one for quiet atmosphere, it reminded him of... well. There's no need to get into detail. Belzer felt himself drifting so slowly. Maybe it was the alcohol from earlier. But he was 100% sure he was beginning to feel something else. An emotion- that wasn't too familiar with him. But luckily that emotion was quickly warded off. As something else came into mind. "This fuckin outfit-" He growls irritably too himself and immediately stands up. It was pinching him too much. How could humans stand wearing these restricting pieces of fabric? Belzer grabbed the neck of his shirt and began to pull it over his belly, chest and arms. Where did he- oh screw it. Belzer was so tempted to toss the article of clothing but decided not to. Setting it gently on the arm of the couch. Before beginning to take of his trousers. "Buffalo Belzer- not another movement!" Helley's disembodied voice roared suddenly and in a blink of eye. She was standing beside him, now wearing a plain black pajamas whilst giving him that very serious look of 'don't you dare'. Belzer stares at her for a moment before grabbing his trousers and slowly pulling down. "Nope-" "But-" "Nah!" "Bu-" Helley scowls at him. "You ain't wearing underwear! I don't want a nude demon in my house, Belzer. Just- keep it on, okay?" He whistles tunelessly between his sharp teeth, a smug grin growing on his face. "For Christ-" "Ah," Belzer holds up a finger, "God's watching, remember?" Helley stares daggers at him and lightly shakes her head, her lips slightly downturned showing her displeasure. "Seriously Buffalo Belzer. Keep your trousers on, or you'll have to go home." Belzer exhales a long breath through his nose. "Fine." He lifts his hands up in surrender and falls back onto the couch, discreetly sticking his tongue out at her. "I saw that." Well, shit. Helley smirks proudly and sits on the couch next to him. Grabbing the remote and switching on the TV. "Get ready because I'm about to introduce you to the world of movies." She warns him with a light grin. Belzer's tail wags excitedly, oh this was going to be good.
-------------------- It was only 7 minutes into the movie. Till he started to feel, what was that emotion? Oh right, sadness. Belzer frowned too himself, he had to drunk right? Why was he feeling like this anyways? Belzer didn't like feeling this. He was already rebuilding his relationships with his boys. Oh. It all clicked now together. Belzer's gaze sneakily drifted to the side- to catch a glimpse of Helley who was too focused on the movie to notice his change in expression and demeanour. He wasn't the best father, was he? He really wasn't. Belzer eyebrows formed into a sad frown. Fathers didn't imprison their children or force them to work. Belzer blinked thrice and tried to recompose himself. He couldn't cry, not now. He was in company dammit, his left hand which rested along his hand, tightened its grip. Claws anchoring into the flesh unbeknownst to him. Stop. Stop this. Too many negative emotions were flooding him like a swarm. Why now? Out of all the times, did it have to be now? Belzer didn't know he had drawn attention to himself. Until he let out a sudden ragged gasp of air, covering his eyes with his hands. Helley looked over with worry and immediately paused the movie. "Belzer? You alright there?" Leaning over slightly to get a better look at him. Reluctantly resting a palm on his arm. "I'm such a fuck up of a father." Came the muffled response. Helley's eyes widened- not so much at the cursing. But just the way his sudden change of mood just- appeared. "Belzer-" Helley tried softly. Belzer jerked away and raised his head staring at her with glossy eyes. "Don't you dare- say otherwise. Do fathers- force their kids to-to work? Do fathers imprison his kids? Do they fucking- ignore them- or neglect THEM!" Belzer exclaims distraughtly; the volume of his voice doesn't make Helley wince. But she feels sympathy and pity for him. Very much so. She had never seen him so distressed. Helley had only known him for a few months, but this was already making her heart ache for him. "Exactly. Bad parents do that." Belzer's nostrils flare with heavy breaths, leaning back defeatedly into the couch. Claws still embedded in his arms, the air of anger and despair around him almost suffocating. Helley can almost physically sense the dark sea of guilt consuming him. She scooches closer to him nonchalantly. "Belzer," She begins again, mulling mentally over the right words to say without angering him. Looking up at him, he's grasping the glass of beer tightly- and Helley initially worries he'd break it and send shards exploding everywhere. And it feels all too familiar, a scenario too well known. Abruptly yet briefly she's thrown back into her memories. A mother on the couch, staring blankly at the TV with a glass of alcohol in her hand. "You... were a bad parent." A small growl issues itself from his throat, and Helley's eyes snap down to his claws that dig even further into his flesh. "But you changed, if you weren't a good parent. You'd remain the same without redemption." Like my mother. She informs him firmly, gingerly grasping his hands and gently lifting them up and away. Almost feeling nauseous, she knows this wasn't a healthy way of dealing with these emotions. "How.." Belzer chokes out, "how can they forgive me? I treated them all badly. They're my children-" A small sob racks his body.
"I know Belzer." Helley comforts him, "but you've learnt your mistakes. And you're dealing with them, regrowing your relationship with your kids." Belzer is quiet for a long moment and Helley worries she had accidently upset him even more. But what happened next was even more alarming- Belzer slumped forward head colliding onto her shoulder. Helley's eyes widen briefly, well- she wasn't expecting this. But she experimentally rested her hand along his arm comfortingly. "Wendell hates me."
"He might- or might not. But the best thing you can do Belzer is to keep rebuilding your relationship." Helley advises him. Belzer sits in silence for a moment digesting her words. Was he being a good father by finally letting Wendell and Wild build their Faire? He assumed so. He'd already seen the design- and it was wonderful. He couldn't have been prouder. "And even if he does hate you currently, it won't last." Helley, of course. Couldn't speak for him, but she was there. When Belzer conversed with his two sons about their project. They looked so happy. But even she knew just because he was letting them build Dream Faire now- wouldn't throw away the other things that had happened between the family of demons. It was a step forward though and that was a sign- of a healthier, and better relationship growing in the near future. Belzer doesn't say anything for a good minute. The guilt he was still feeling was overwhelming. All of those of being a bad parent just came back suddenly haunt him. If he had been better. Would his older children still run off to the Living? Would they not of hated him? Would Wendell not resent him? "Belzer." Helley starts a note of unsureness evident in her voice, "how long have you been feeling this? This guilt?" She wanted to know, she had seen a case of self-guilt before, and it was never pretty. "Years." He replied honestly before sitting upright, glancing at Helley with the most miserable expression she had ever seen on the demonic Overlord's face. "Always told myself- I shouldn't feel these emotions."
Helley's eyebrows form into a puzzled frown. "How come? Is it because you're a demon and a ruler?" Belzer gives a small chuckle- but Helley's smart enough to know it isn't from humor. "Clearly. You don't see the old Scratch crying and blubbering." He tells her brusquely. Helley holds his gaze, reaching for his hand gingerly and squeezing it comfortingly. "Belzer, all these negative emotions have been left to boil up and fester. You..." Her eyes drift down discreetly to his arms, "you aren't dealing with these emotions the way you should be." "But I shouldn't be!-" Belzer rages abruptly, lips curled back to reveal his sharp teeth. Grip tightening so much- Helley worries he'll snap her wrist clean off, but she doesn't so much as wince. "You're allowed to feel, and if it hurts. It's okay."
Belzer's eyes soften at that, regarding her for a long moment in silence. Before unshed tears start to emerge, slanting forward and resting his chin on her shoulder in some sort of variation of a hug.
"Hey, it's alright." Helley consoles him, raising her arms and reluctantly hugging him as he softly sobs. She was never used to physical touch- but now? She didn't care, not now at least. And each cry of distress makes her increase her embrace tightly, she just wants him to be alright. He's not loud, but it doesn't have to be for Helley to hear the outright anguish. Helley always found it ironic, how herself befriended a demon. But she'd be damned, if he wasn't the best friend, she always wanted in her childhood life.
After a while the stifled sobs comes to a stop. And for Belzer it feels like a heavy weight had been lifted. Was this all he needed? To talk to someone, to vent? Helley remains hugging him, until he gradually pulls away in his own time. His eyes are red and puffy. But despite that he looks considerably calmer. "I'm sorry you had to see all that."
Helley keeps her grim firm and reassuring on his hand. "Don't. Don't apologize ever for venting out all your emotions." She informs him sternly, her gaze so gentle and soothing. "I just want to be a good parent." Belzer shrugs his shoulders limply. And Helley nods her head knowingly. "Belzer, you're already starting to become a better parent." Helley reminds him, "and only you can mend your relationship with Wendell and Wild and the others. It'll be hard at first, but as time goes on. It'll be easier, you just have to keep pushing on and trying." Belzer's eyes flicker down and Helley knows she heard him. "I'll do my best." There's a newfound determination in his eyes. A nervous one, but it's there. He just had to keep on trying, if this is what he had to do? Then he'd do it over 100 times. Helley's lips curve into a bright smile. "Want to finish the film?" She asks him tenderly and nestles back into the couch. Remote pointed at the TV.
Belzer perks up at that and nods his head, a small grin visible on his face. The room once more filled with noise from the movie. Helley looks at Belzer mentally. And the only thing she sees is a broken father who hasn't dealt with his emotions in the healthiest way. But she knows that doesn't excuse the abuse he inflicted on his own children. But she admires the fact he saw and realized his wrongdoings. And he was working on being a better parent. He wasn't all bad. He had a long road to trek, decidedly so. But she would be there to offer him guidance and help. Buffalo Belzer, I wish you could see how much good you're already doing. You should be proud that you have changed your ways. Doing and changing more- than my own mother could. She absentmindedly lets her head slouch to the side, cheek resting on his arm. Eyes glued to the TV screen; this was nice. Helley would always be here for him, for Raul- for the demon brothers and especially Kat. They were all like family to her, it always made her a bit emotional. But she felt great happiness each time she was helping someone close to her. She believed in Belzer. He could do it.
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johnnybeepboop · 1 year
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silly little AU i made (with a quick explanation from a discord message i wrote cause i still need to flesh this stuff out) poor JJ
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explodcor · 3 days
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//continued from here.
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Katsuki's breathing seemed considerably labored for not doing much movement. As soon as Shouto pulled him close, he clutched onto the front of his shirt for balance.
He barely heard Shouto over the sound of the ringing between his ears. It wasn't until the room was silent that he feel his heartrate going back down to normal.
He winced heavily as a new wave of pain rolled to the back of his head. "....ears're ringing...head hurts..." he managed while biting down a pained whimper. "...w-wanna go to my room..."
@heterochromatica
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Friendship never dies in FNAF..
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egophiliac · 7 months
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What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?
I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.
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I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay
also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time
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#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 chapter 4 spoilers#stage in playful land#i hope this is legible whoops#anon i am sorry but you made the fatal mistake of asking me to talk about diasomnia#insert 'i just think they're neat' jpg#i do like the other characters a lot but they are definitely my favorites#they just hit a lot of my favorite things in characters i guess!#yes even you sebek even though you keep shrieking NINGEN at me#(it's okay he gets Character Development™ later)#and their dynamic! it's great! these guys frikking love each other SO much and they WILL have terrible terrible angst about it#ohoho delicious#give me all your emotional hangups baybeeeee#also somewhere in there i went from 'i like them all equally (but lilia is the most fun to draw)'#to 'lilia is absolutely my favorite (and still the most fun to draw) (EVEN MORE fun now thank you swishy ponytail!)'#(it was probably when his candy coating got a little scratched and whoops all the tragedy fell out)#(where's that 'get loved loser' post because i need to staple it to lilia's forehead)#i am extremely bad at putting things into words so please don't ask me to explain it any further#just know that the diafam is everything to me and if we don't get more episode 7 soon i'm going to crumble into dust and blow away#we'll be getting the crowleytimes on monday and maybe there will be. idk. some foreshadowing or something in his groovy#probably not but LOOK i'm desperate
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sandflakedraws · 11 days
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re : how each brother reacts learning that they can't go back
you'll have to pry the "all the Brozone Bros knew what happened at the tree" headcanon outta my cold, dead dead dead hands.
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courfee · 2 months
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17 December 1975 / 15 May 1976
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wheneverfeasible · 1 month
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Continuation “fix it” of this ficlet where Steve changed himself to try to earn Eddie’s love.
Steve missed his polos.
He missed his light wash jeans, his music, watching his favorite movies, he even missed his stupid plaid walls.
Eddie had laughed at them the first time he’d been in Steve’s room, back before they’d even started dating. Technically they were still there, they were just covered up with posters of bands Steve only knew about because his boyfriend liked them. Eddie had teasingly gifted him a Black Sabbath one back when they had just been friends to give his room more “personality” instead of his mostly undecorated room, which…okay, fair, because Steve had admittedly not done much of it himself just because he couldn’t be bothered.
(And he did, actually, kind of like the poster because it was their own little inside joke. It made him smile when he saw it, even to this day, even if he thought he could still taste the damned demobat sometimes.)
It wasn’t like he really knew much of who he was to begin with. He still had the bowling pin he and Tommy had stolen from the bowling lane their sophomore year (Steve’s idea, though only to impress his friend), and the picture of the car he had bought on a whim because Tommy had said he wanted a car just like it. Any other knickknack had either been gifted or purchased for a similar intent.
Now, that car picture was collecting dust in his closet, replaced by the Black Sabbath poster that Eddie had pinned to the wall slightly askew for ‘aesthetics,’ though it being slightly off-center and at an angle made Steve a little itchy. Soon, however, other posters soon followed, some given to him by Eddie and some he purchased himself after learning what bands Eddie liked, with a large Dio one taking up space by his bed.
Flyers of Corroded Coffin shows or other band merch dotted around the room as well, which he didn’t really mind because he liked supporting his boyfriend, though the clutter and disorganization slightly bothered him. Eddie had grinned at the sight however and called him a ‘real boy now’ for looking like the room of a young man and not a ‘30-something corporate stooge,’ so that would have to be fine too.
But he still missed his room looking like his room, instead of a replica of Eddie’s. It made Eddie feel more comfortable however, so he tried not to think about how it wasn’t his aesthetic at all, because he could learn to like it. He could change for the better. He could be what Eddie wanted. He could be good enough.
Which was why he was confused, staring at the garment box on the kitchen table where he’d been circling car ads in the classifieds, trying to find something cooler than his bimmer. Eddie had come over with a wide grin, sliding a box he recognized from one of the department stores he used to shop at before dating Eddie.
Eddie had proffered it with a flourish, grinning expectantly, practically vibrating with anticipation as Steve had carefully lifted the lid and moved the tissue paper aside to reveal the piece of clothing inside. A polo shirt in a soft, buttery sort of yellow with thick vertical white stripes running vertical over it.
Steve looked up at Eddie with a furrowed brow. “I…you got me a polo?” he questioned, confused and also concerned, knowing the department store was definitely outside of Eddie’s usual price range.
“Yeah!” Eddie confirmed happily, moving to sit in the chair next to Steve, looking down at the soft material Steve had yet to pull from the box. “The check from the gig came through, and I remember you looking at this shirt a couple weeks ago. I’ve been waiting to be buy it ever since.”
Steve blinked at that. He hadn’t known Eddie had caught him admiring the shirt in the window while he and Eddie had been walking around downtown. He felt a flair of panic at the thought, annoyed at himself for slipping up, for reminding Eddie that he was a stupid preppy rich kid. Eddie didn’t look upset though, or at least…he hadn’t. Now his eyes were darting over Steve’s expression with growing worry, chewing on his lower lip.
“Is that…is that all right? Was it a different one you wanted? I-I still have the receipt, we can return it and get the one you wanted,” Eddie rushed to say.
“No,” Steve quickly said, his fingers of one hand tightening slightly on the box while his other reached out of their own accord to slightly touch the shirt within. “I…Eddie,” he breathed, not knowing what else to say, what this meant. Why would Eddie buy him something like this? “You shouldn’t waste your hard earned money on…something like this.” Shouldn’t waste your money on me, he wanted to say. “It’s your first paying gig.”
Eddie shook his head quickly, an almost embarrassed smile curling his lips with a slight blush. “I wanted to, Stevie. You always buy me things, I wanted to return the favor. You’ve been so supportive of me and I wanted to…I don’t know. Thank you.” He glanced down at the polo with a soft expression, though he did frown a little too afterwards. “I haven’t seen you wear your polos in a really long time,” he murmured quietly.
Steve tensed at Eddie’s words. Of course he hadn’t. Polos weren’t cool. Polos weren’t good enough for Eddie. It was why he was so confused at this gift. He didn’t understand why Eddie would buy him something that wasn’t metal. That wasn’t suitable for his boyfriend.
“I know that you’re experimenting with your style and all, and I won’t deny you’re hot as fuck in these,” Eddie grinned, moving to pinch the loose sleeve of Steve’s tee between his fingers. It was from some band he didn’t actually know before he’d bought the shirt, something called Leatherwolf, though he had bought their tape as well so that he could pretend to be a fan and know some of their songs. “But you look hot in your polos too. I miss them.”
Steve sat up straighter at that, his eyebrows flying up in surprise. Eddie…liked his polos? “Aren’t the polos…kind of lame?” he asked carefully.
Eddie snorted, smiling as he leaned in to press a kiss to Steve’s neck, causing a startled smile to erupt over Steve’s own lips as he squirmed at the slight tickle of Eddie’s lips and hair. “There’s nothing lame about you, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured, voice roughened with his tease. He pulled back though, a touch of his worry on his expression again. “Do you like it?”
Of course Steve liked it. He loved it. It was exactly the one he had been looking at before, even though he’d tried to hide it, which meant that Eddie really had noticed it and really had been waiting to buy it for him. With his first paycheck from Corroded Coffin’s first real paying gig.
There had been the fear that Eddie’s involvement with the band would limit their options, that no one would want to listen to a band that had a member who was suspected of grisly murders. Eddie had been prepared to step down, to let the others move on without him, had offered it even though Jeff and the others had vehemently opposed the idea. They’d said that Corroded Coffin wouldn’t exist without Eddie and if he wasn’t part of it then they didn’t want to do it anymore.
In a surprise twist that probably shouldn’t have been all that surprising, Eddie’s infamy had actually helped the band. The news of his believed guilt and then later innocence and injury from the actual killer that he had tried to stop had spread even beyond Hawkins, drawing a crowd for their nights performing at The Hideout who began to see more patrons than ever before.
Then they’d been invited to participate in a Battle of the Bands, which they hadn’t won but they’d placed second, and the random shows they’d throw themselves at the quarry or wherever else saw larger crowds than usual, even the one they threw to celebrate Gareth graduating, and they’d even been asked to play at the fair, though it was a free gig.
Then, most recently, someone had approached them after one of their shows and asked to hire them for an event in Indianapolis. A paying event in Indianapolis. With it was the promise of possible future paying gigs as their fanbase grew and spread. There was even talk of a possible scout being at the gig.
Dustin had joked that maybe ‘86 hadn’t been his year, but ‘88 could be, though Eddie had just grinned and denied it, saying that ‘86 had been his year after all. He hadn’t said why, but he gave Steve a secretive smile and reached out to tangle their fingers together.
Steve felt a flare of warmth beneath his skin as he stared down at the polo again, hesitating before giving a brief nod. Eddie’s previously nervous smile bloomed into a joyous one, and he leaned in quickly to plant a smacking kiss to Steve’s cheek. Steve rolled his eyes but couldn’t prevent his own smile from growing on his lips.
“Thank you, baby,” Steve murmured, sliding a hand over Eddie’s neck to draw him in for a slow kiss. He didn’t know what it meant still, Eddie buying him a polo of all things, but it made him more determined than ever to be good enough for his boyfriend.
When they pulled back, Eddie soft with happiness, Steve made the decision. He needed to go all in if he was to keep Eddie happy. He drew in a deep breath and moved to take Eddie’s hand, his finger lightly tracing one of the scars there.
“I was thinking of growing out my hair. Maybe even dying it. Or maybe shaving i—”
“Don’t you dare!” Eddie interrupted, expression and tone absolutely scandalized as he squeezed Steve’s hand. Steve jumped slightly at the sudden explosion, blinking wide eyes at Eddie, causing the other to flush slightly in embarrassment. “I mean. You can, obviously, if you really want to, it’s your hair after all, but…” Eddie let out a small whine of protest as his gaze moved up to take in Steve’s hair.
Steve self-consciously reached up with his free hand to pass his fingers through his hair, which wasn’t quite as voluminous as he used to style it, but was still the last real testament of his former style. His former personality. The bullshit one.
“I mean,” Steve hedged, glancing away with a small roll of a shoulder in an aborted shrug. “It’s not exactly metal is it?” He looked back at Eddie with a slightly strained smile, rolling his eyes as though in commiseration. “I don’t want to embarrass you by making people think you have a prep for a boyfriend,” he laughed.
Eddie’s expression changed immediately as he stilled almost unnaturally, falling into a blank neutrality, even his eyes shuttering as he slowly pulled his hand from Steve’s grip. The response caused Steve to start panicking, worrying he’d messed up in some way, that he reminded Eddie of all the ways that he was lacking.
Steve opened his mouth to start apologizing, ready to apologize for anything, but Eddie held up his hand palm out to stop him, causing Steve’s mouth to shut with a soft click of teeth.
Eddie’s gaze dropped from Steve as his brows slowly began to furrow, a calculating expression settling over him as his eyes fell to the soft yellow polo still in the box. His lips twisted into a frown. After several excruciating moments, his eyes moved towards Steve’s shirt, an even more pinched look settling over his expression.
“Who are you wearing?” Eddie asked, his voice low and slow.
Steve glanced down at his shirt, the panic in him spiking, before realizing that this was a test. He had to prove to Eddie that he could like metal too (he didn’t, not really, though he could appreciate some of it) and wouldn’t be an embarrassment. He could do this.
“Leatherwolf,” he answered, thankful that he had done his job well enough to answer this pop quiz. He straightened his spine and pulled up the information he memorized with a slightly relieved smile. He could do this. “They’re from California. They were founded in, um, 1981.”
“What’s your favorite song of theirs?” Eddie asked, and there was something slightly off in his tone, but Steve couldn’t place it, not when he was frantically trying to recall the titles of the songs he’d made himself remember.
“Um. Cry Out?” he hesitantly asked more than answered, which caused Eddie’s lips to press into a thin line. He felt his breath catch at the obvious displeasure on Eddie’s face, wondering if he’d answered wrong. Was that a bad song? “O-or no, um, not that one. Uh. I like…um. I like…Magic Eye?” Fuck no, that wasn’t right. “Magical Eyes, I mean,” he corrected himself hastily.
Eddie’s eyes slowly dragged over Steve, his lips compressing again into a thin line as he drew in his own deep breath through flared nostrils. “Fuck,” he muttered, obviously not meant for Steve but it caused Steve to panic anyways as Eddie looked away, his brow furrowing in thought as his gaze settled on the newspaper on the table and the circled ads there.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized, though he wasn’t certain what he had done wrong this time. Maybe Eddie didn’t like that band?
“Steve…” Eddie heaved a heavy sigh, rubbing his hand over his face before he looked over at Steve again. “I had thought you were just…trying things out. Experimenting. Lord knows your folks never let you be your own person,” he muttered before waving a hand as though to swat that thought away. “I didn’t realize you were actually trying to change.”
Why did Eddie sound so appalled by that? Wasn’t that a good thing? He was willing to fundamentally change who he was just for Eddie, to become someone deserving of Eddie, who fit in Eddie’s life. Didn’t Eddie want Steve in his life?
“Why are you upset about me changing?” Steve huffed, his worry turning into annoyance in his tone. “I thought that was a good thing. Not being the douchebag I used to be.” He scowled, crossing his arms with a roll of his eyes to cover his unease.
Eddie just looked at him in that way that made it seem like he was seeing inside Steve, which normally Steve liked because no one ever actually saw him, but now it just made him uncomfortable. Like he had done something wrong. He was just trying to be a good boyfriend, however. Besides, it’s not like he had come up with the plan on his own.
Everyone always talked about how different he and Eddie were. Always pointed out how preppy he was, made fun of Eddie for falling for a jock, had even asked at the start when they first came out publicly to their friends who was blackmailing whom into the relationship. Steve knew he had to change. They were too fundamentally different. It was the only way to keep Eddie.
Except Eddie didn’t look like he was going to be kept. He had started slowly shaking his head, pulling back, his eyes skittering over Steve again but in a way that said he wasn’t liking what he was saying. Steve’s panic spiked again.
“Eddie. This is good. I’m willing to change for you, that’s how much I love you,” Steve breathed, reaching out to grab Eddie’s hand with desperation. “I listen to your music now, and I play Dungeons and Dragons, and I don’t even talk about basketball around you anymore. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Don’t you see? Isn’t that all that matters?”
Eddie’s lips turned down into a sharp frown. A shuddering breath left him before he all but yanked his hand from Steve’s, his dark eyes turning even darker as he pulled away from Steve and said those damning words:
“But I’m not happy, Steve.”
Steve felt all the air leave his lungs, felt all the blood first rush to his head and then drain out of him, felt his mouth and tongue and throat shrivel into dryness as his eyes widened in horror. Eddie was shaking his head, stumbling out of his chair and back, an unreadable expression on his face as he distanced himself from Steve and this revelation.
“This wasn’t what I wanted, Steve. This doesn’t make me happy.” Eddie’s took another step back when Steve stumbled from his own chair, putting the table between them. “I…I need to go. I need to think.”
Steve knew with certainty that if he let Eddie leave now, that this thing between them would never be the same. His heart clenched in his chest painfully, and he felt his eyes sting with encroaching tears. “Eddie, please…” he begged, his words cracking.
Eddie only shook his head, sending his hair arcing around him, before straightening his spine. “This isn’t you. I don’t want this to be you. I love you Steve, but this version of you? The one that I created—” This time it was Eddie’s voice that cracked.
Clearing his throat, Eddie backed away. “No. No, this isn’t what I wanted. I’m sorry, Steve, but I need to go. I need to think. I can’t be here right now. I’m sorry.”
And with that, Eddie spun on his heels and all but ran towards the door, escaping from Steve’s incompetence, his unworthiness, his undesirability while Steve could only stand there in frozen horror, the tears he couldn’t hold back any longer slowly dripping down his cheeks.
Because he knew. He knew this would happen. He knew that no matter what he did, he would never be good enough. He knew that Eddie would leave him one day. Knew that he would never be able to keep the one he loved.
Knew that he, like his love, would always be complete and utter bullshit.
-
Part 3
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tag list: @derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump
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arunneronthird · 1 year
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actually i think they should do stupid things together sometimes, i also fully embraced the fact that none of them have any fashion sense
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rendevok · 1 year
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“Take my hand” a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023
day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4
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whatohitsonfirewelp · 6 months
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You know what? I don’t WANT an awkward double date. I don’t WANT buck coming out and people having the ‘I know’ reaction or the ‘is it Eddie’ reaction.
You know what I do want?
I want Buck panicking over what to wear for the date. I want Buck flopping on his bed like very teenager after their first kiss all giggly and happy and touching his lips because he kissed a boy
I want Buck smiling every time he says Tommy’s name because maybe it isn’t forever and maybe he’s not even looking for forever anymore but he’s so happy and he’s so light and being with Tommy feels good
I want Tommy to keep calling him Evan, because before Buck was Buck he was Evan and Evan deserves to be happy to be treated so softly and lovingly and Evan deserves to be free.
I want Buck to be happy. To be happy and free and queer in the way we all deserve.
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yuurionviktor · 6 months
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Personally, I thought this was a banger outfit
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aphel1on · 4 months
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AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos
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egophiliac · 8 months
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Please elaborate on your twst Pokémon headcannons I’m very interested
I had planned on drawing everyone for this (I made a LIST!) but it. hasn't been going well. 💀 soooo here's what I have so far!
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Riddle - Roserade (I was going with 'no legendaries', otherwise I would've given him a Shaymin) (and I don't think Togedemaru is actually a hedgehog or I would've given him one of those too) (...they kind of do fit though. hmm.)
Trey - Alcremie (clover/mint cream + strawberry/ruby cream)
Cater - DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD!
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Ace - Impidimp (I feel like there's probably a better one for him, but I can't think of it)
Deuce - Scraggy (meanwhile I KNOW deep in my heart that this is true)
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Leona - Pyroar (but like. a nasty Pyroar. just a grizzly old Pyroar with the shittiest attitude imaginable. they pretend to hate each other but secretly they are a bonded pair, do not separate)
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lucabyte · 5 months
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"So what's the weirdest possible first (second) impression Loop could make on the party in postcanon?" "Yeah, that, probably."
+ Bonus
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theyre just standing there in direct party order while this happens. normal tuesday.
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ghosty-scribblings · 20 days
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Okay I am just gonna throw something out because I got to thinking about and what is this blog for if not to yell into the void?
Danny gets hired as a janitor at the Daily Planet. It's just a job, something to make money and not clash schedules with his Metopolis Community College classes. But while working there he meets this reporter who is definitely also not fully human.
Does danny care? Nah. Not causing problems. None of his business. Not his circus not his monkeys.
But imagine the hijinks.
Clark? Initially confused but also glad at meeting someone so chill? One story about the ecto-weenies later and he has to know more. Let these two goobers bond over "what is my life" and "ya got a little not normal right there." This Danny guy is just a chill civilian friend he doesn't have to hide from.
And Danny? Staying-in-his-lane and sleep-deprived-college-studenting so hard he doesn't even realize his fellow not-baseline-human friend is Superman. Clark is just his friend who is also trying to be Normal.
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