#have i been missing this. the entire time. or am i still missing something
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november ko-fi fic!
hiya!! i am still working on the november ko-fi fic (to be published hopefully sometime this weekend)
(KUWSK family meal aka american thanksgiving themed with ✨chaos✨ to make it wholesome after the last two mob-themed ones lmao)
BUT i'm announcing here that i will be stopping the ko-fi fics after november!! with my grad program picking up, i've found that it's been really hard to balance how much i want to write, study, and just be here in this space online with y'all - and the ko-fi fics have been a ton of fun and honestly so good for my writing abilities, but they've also become a stressor the later in the month it gets without posting when i wanted to commit to having them out at the beginning of each month :(
so to make sure that no one gets charged in december, i'm just gonna delete my ko-fi the last day of november! all the fics i've posted on there will make their way to ao3 (probably in the first month of 2025) so no one will actually lose access to anything - i would just feel really bad if people were charged because they didn't see this or cause they didn't cancel in time or anything!
in all, this has been really fun for me and i'm really really so incredibly thankful for everyone who has become a supporter of my ko-fi (either for a few months or a day or the entire year it's been running). thank you thank you so much!! and i hope you enjoyed these little fics as well <3
#kit's kofi fics#ive been missing the amount of time i used to have for fandom space#especially on tumblr#and i've been so focused on writing my bb fic (still ebcause the mods are angels and im late to having it finished)#that all my writing time has gone there#and then my next priority is my kofi#and i want my next priority to be something different entirely#like whatever i want at the moment you know?#i remembered way late at night the other night that i never finished the hanahaki fic#and i was like!!!! the hanahaki fic!!#but finals are starting (they're essays i should have started them ages ago)#and i have my bb fic to finish (thank you mods for letting me have extra time)#and i have the kofi fic etc etc#so one has to go#and this is what i picked and i am honestly so grateful and ahppy for everything#and i hope the last one (KUWSK) shows that#because its been a pleasure to write
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✦ nobody gets me, you do - averyjameson
a/n: wooo games untold release day!!! the first part of this is so silly help i love max summary: avery has the worst interview in the world, with constant interruptions and snide comments. jameson is watching it from home, (along with his brothers, max, and lyra) and finds himself going to see avery, despite her team telling him no. wc: 2.4k
max was watching her best friends interview live on her phone, sitting in her boyfriends bed.
she could read her like an open book, and could tell something was definitely wrong.
“xander,” she called out the boy next to her who was solving a 9x9 rubix cube leisurely, laying on his back with his hands up in the air. “are you seeing this? look what they’re doing to my girl avery.”
xander sat up, and watched for a few seconds. to xander, she looked how she did the first time he ever saw her: scared, uncomfortable, but trying to put on a brave face.
after just two seconds, he called out at the top of his lungs: “jamesoooonnnn.”
no response.
max pulled xander out of the room — much to his dismay, and finally spotted jameson in one of the libraries.
she barely got a word in before jamesons eyes flickered to her phone that was still playing the interview. his brows furrowed, “you’re watching the interview too?”
“…of course i am,” she deadpanned, “i’m literally avery’s girlfriend.
xander raised a brow from beside max, and jameson and him shared a confused look. “oh… right.” jameson said as he nodded slowly.
“yeah…!” xander added. “how could i forget?...” he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head as his eyes flickered between jameson and max.
“you guys are weird…” max trailed off, confused at their strange reactions, when she said something so completely normal in her opinion.
“but look!” she exclaimed, “she literally looks so… uncomfortable. in their right mind allowed this interviewer to have a job?” she said, as the two brothers looked at the tiny screen on her phone showing avery’s interview live.
they quickly ditched watching it on the phone, because jameson suggested they watch it on the large tv in one of their living rooms.
max rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath that sounded like, “of course you’d suggest that.” but nodded anyway as the three made their way to the nearest living room.
avery shifted in her seat slightly, her smile just a little off and strained as the interviewer asked another prying question.
“so, how does it feel to have your entire life handed to you on a silver platter- or shall i say, gold?” the audience laughed at the last line. his tone was light, but the implications were hard to miss.
avery smiled, like landon had rehearsed with her, trying to maintain her composure.
“who the hell is this guy?” jameson scoffed, “seriously?” he stood up from the couch they were sitting on and ran a hand through his hair.
“i wouldn’t exactly describe it that way,” she responded far too fast, so she went to correct herself— otherwise she wouldn’t her the end of it from her team. “but i’m endlessly grateful for all the opportunities i have, and for all the experiences.” she said with a smile that looked a little too sweet and practiced, that it made jameson sick.
the interviewer leaned forward, a cruel smirk on his face that made avery want to grimace. “oh?” he challenged, “so you’re saying the billion-dollar inheritance didn’t change your life overnight?”
xanders usual playful grin was gone as he muttered, “avery looks like she’s about to walk out.”
“she should.” jameson was now pacing in front of the TV, unable to stand still any longer. “if i’d been there—”
“but you’re not,” grayson said calmly, standing beside another couch that lyra was sitting on. “she’ll handle it.”
lyra had heard everyone in the room a few minutes earlier, and suggested her and grayson go see what was going on.
jameson’s eyes focused laser sharp on the tv once again as he heard the interviewer mention his name, before turning back to look at grayson.
“she shouldn’t have to handle it, grayson.” his voice cracked with frustration.
her heart raced, but she managed a small laugh. “i think anyone’s life would change with something like that. my life has changed a great ordeal, but it’s more complicated than—”
“and what about your relationship with jameson hawthorne?” he interrupted, not caring for a single word she had to say. “was that part of the package deal?”
the live audience laughed, and avery just smiled politely, frustration flashing behind her eyes that only the people closest to her could spot.
grayson was going to say something to calm his brother down, but didn’t get the chance to.
“oh, this guy is a fucking comedian, isn’t he?” jameson ran another frustrated hand through his hair, chuckling lowly as he exhaled. “i’m getting him fired— bankrupt for gods sake.”
he knew how snobby-privileged-rich-kid he sounded even to his own ears, but he didn’t care.
“yeah,” lyra chimed in, who rarely ever agreed with jameson. “i’m with you on that one.”
jameson shook his head, letting out a blow of air that it almost sounded like a whistle, “goddamnit, i don’t care, i’m going. her team and the paparazzi can go to hell for all i care.”
he turned off the tv, he couldn’t bear to see avery uncomfortable for another second.
nash stood leaning against the wall, sending a slight nod to jameson. “you need a ride?” he asked, alluding to the motorcycle jameson loves to use when he needs to blow off steam.
with no complaints from nash, jameson knew that he was doing the right thing.
he muttered something under his breath along the lines of: “too dangerous,” and shook his head. and with that, he made his way to the stairs.
everyone shared confused glances — jameson hawthorne, saying something was too dangerous? something has seriously changed.
“is it just me… or is jameson being weirdly responsible right now.” xander muttered as he looked at the turned off tv infront of him.
grayson and lyra shared a look that communicated the message; ‘…he’s still not responsible.’ but didn’t say anything.
max nodded at xander in agreement. “it’s the avery effect.” she stated matter-of-factly. “i don’t know about you, but whenever i’m around her i feel like… woah, i just want to be a better person, you know?”
xander thought about it for a moment with his hand on his chin, and then nodded ,like max had said something profound.
he looked up at her, and then they both nodded in sync, sharing a high five.
nash, who was still standing leaned against the wall, stifled a laugh, shaking his head in amusement before walking out of the living room.
he was definitely going to be mentioning the “avery effect” to libby later.
—
avery sighed as she finally got in the dressing room, leaning her head back on the door and shutting her eyes.
she got to go home in half an hour now, finally.
atleast she was done with that interview.
she walked away from the door, slumping in her chair as she brought her hands to her face, looking into the large hollywood style mirror infront of her.
she was hyper-aware of everything around her—the feeling of her clothes scratching against her skin, the way her makeup suddenly felt heavy on her face, the ache in her cheeks from smiling, and the slight tremor in her hands.
avery re-enacted the smiles she gave throughout the interview, wondering if they looked too fake, if she needs to start tweaking them, and overthinking just about every small detail.
5 minutes had passed, and she was still staring into the mirror.
surely this wasn’t healthy, but she stayed practicing the answers she gave, sighing in defeat when she remembered how people would take it as snappy and defensive.
god, she wouldn’t have wished that interview from hell on her worst enemy.
her reflection started to look weird to herself, but she kept practicing the right way to smile, to not look fake.
suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and her attention was diverted from the mirror for the first time in 10 minutes.
“yeah, come in!” she called out quietly, eyes fixated on the door, nervous to see who it was.
hair and makeup? someone from her team already there to scold her? or god forbid, the interviewer— her thoughts were all silenced when she saw pair of familiar green eyes.
“jameson,” she breathed out, “what are you doing here?”
his hair was a tad messier than usual, and his eyes seemed panicked as he looked around the room, until they finally met hers.
he shut the door behind him and locked it all in one swift movement and walked over to her, standing behind her chair she was sitting on.
his hands found her shoulders, but she stood up and turned around, meeting him face to face.
“heiress,” he put his calmest voice on as his hands found their way to the sides of her face. “i was watching— we were watching the interview at home.” his eyes flickered between hers, “are you alright?”
she smiled a little, letting out an exhale. “yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” she shook her head in an attempt to portray she was confused.
it was slightly difficult for her to act like she was perfectly fine, when she had spent the last 20 minutes doing nothing but overthink.
he brought her out of her thoughts once again. “avery.”
“what?”
“i saw the look on your face— you may be a good bluffer, but not with your emotions. not with me, atleast.”
unfortunately for avery, jameson could see what she was feeling when she tried her hardest to hide it, even from her own self.
she sighed, trying to shrug it off. “jameson, it’s just one interview. they ask questions like that all the time—it’s part of the job.”
“i don’t care if it’s part of the job. you never asked for this.” his voice was hard-edged, his hands moving down her shoulders, then down to her hands. “you looked uncomfortable, avery. you shouldn’t have to be fine with that.”
“i was managing it,” she countered, tilting her head up to look at him, trying to ease the tension. “that’s what i’m supposed to do.”
her hands fiddled with his fingers with a mind of their own. it was a tell tale sign she was holding her feelings back. jameson knew it better than anyone.
“and that’s the problem.” he didn’t speak to her condescendingly, or in any way that was trying to belittle her. he was just worried.
he simply cared, and it made avery’s heart soar.
“they’re counting on you to just handle it every single time, like it doesn’t get to you.” his voice was low, “you shouldn’t act okay with it just because it’s easier. it’s not right.”
she wanted to prove that she was okay, that she wasn’t bothered, and that he didn’t have to worry about her, but she couldn’t, because then she’d be lying.
she let out a small sigh of defeat, “you’re right, jameson.” she shook her head, “i know… i just— i don’t want you to worry about me, or anyone to worry about me.”
“tough luck.” he replied, voice low but unwavering as his eyes searched hers.
she opened her mouth to argue, but his hand gently brushed a stray piece of hair from her face, and the words seemed to fade.
“its the worst thing in the world, seeing the hurt on your face. i hate it.” avery looked down, but he tilted her chin back up. “and,” he murmured, “i hate the people inferior who project their own problems onto you, because they feel like they can, even more.”
avery couldn’t argue with the rest of what he said, but she needed to say something.
“no one’s inferior to me.” she mumbled
“please,” jameson said with a deep chuckle, “i could name quite a few.” he said. “for starters, that interviewer—“
avery cut jameson off with a light laugh, a sound that made jameson feel like the sun was shining down just for them two.
his eyes flickered all around her face, his own smile growing as he committed the picture to memory. “he was the worst. am i wrong? tell me i’m wrong.” he teased, selfishly wanting more laughter out of avery because he loved it so much.
she shook her head vigorously, “no,” she laughed, “god, no. he was the worst. i hate that idiot.”
jameson let out another one of his bigger chuckles, “keep going,” he joked, “there’s my heiress.”
avery rolled her eyes jokingly, feeling the last of her worry fade away. “i wanted to punch him square in the face,” she said, and jameson rose his brows in amusement and nodded enthusiastically.
she continued, “but that doesn’t matter anymore, because you’re here now, and that’s more important.”
he let out a breath, his shoulders loosing the last of their tension. “is that so?” he murmured, his hand slipping around her waist, pulling her a bit closer.
“yeah, it is.” and before he could protest or mention anything about her emotions any longer, she leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
he melted into her, arms wrapping around her fully, and tighter. she felt like she could stay in his arms for all eternity as she put her arms around his neck.
the kiss was brief, reassuring, but enough to melt away the last traces of his worry.
when she pulled back, jameson was looking at her with softness in his eyes— one rarely seen by others, but always seen by her.
his thumb brushed over her cheek, and his eyes travelled her face all over. he looked deep in thought, and avery could sense a question was stirring.
“heiress?”
she hummed, “yes, jamie?”
“you know, i never mean to be,” he hesitated slightly, “overbearing, or controlling, i just…” he paused, pressing his lips together in a line as he racked his brain for the right words.
“yeah, i know, jamie.” she nodded slightly with her hand brushing the sides of his face, understanding what he couldn’t verbalize.
his hand held her hand that was on his face, and moved it back down.
both their hands were locked together now, and jameson rested his forehead on hers gently.
avery was so sure he would lean in for another kiss, perhaps one less tentative, now that she could see the tension had dissolved from his shoulders.
she let herself relax, realizing that she stopped fidgeting with jameson’s hands a while ago.
he brought her so much peace without even trying. she wondered if she ever did the same for him— and then jameson broke the silence.
“i’m still getting him fired, by the way.”
avery laughed quietly, almost scoffing in amusement. she bit back her smile as she shook her head, taking a slight step back, hands still intertwined. “of course you are.”
“for you, heiress?” his cheshire grin slowly returned, reeling her back in close. he shrugged, “i’d do much worse.”
taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable
@anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07
@midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear
@clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams
@hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus
#the inheritance games#avery kylie grambs#jameson hawthorne#avery grambs#averyjameson#the grandest game#games untold#grayson hawthorne#xander hawthorne#nash hawthorne#tig#tgg#avery x jameson#��� jude writes
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──she smiled, shrugged one shoulder lightly. “maybe, in time…” the older blonde responded in a soft voice. her father is a difficult man, and even if she is close to him she still struggles to know what is going on in his head most of the time —even more after she returned back home, he had been more distant from her; harsher than he had been in her entire life till then. Stella did everything to please him and get back on his good side and favor, though it didn’t always seem like what she did was enough. “he has a lot of grief to deal with now, and I am not sure how long he will need to process it…” she admitted to her daughter. a part of her also felt guilty for up and leaving like this to distance herself from the trouble she had, mainly, created, and not being there to support her father during those incredibly hard times. in truth, Stella missed her brother more than her mother, but she often chose not to think of either of them —this was her own way of coping with their abrupt, unfair demise.
“oh,” she exclaimed at the following words, but quickly nodded as she stood up. “well, you have my number…” she said with a smile. even if the only reason for this was because Liz felt she needed to cut the conversation short, she would understand; they would have more time to chat. “so we should definitely arrange something,” another smile as she waved her hand a little. “thank you for this, Lizzie,” was the last she greeted before leaving her daughter’s home.
⸻ She laughs at her comment, but she was right. Nobody knocks some sense in her father's head.
Maybe, nowadays, Liz was the only now somehow managed to put a few senses on that head of his. Still, it isn't enough, hence why he gives her migraines from time to time. Compared to what he used to, he would be way better if it wasn't for Elizabeth's help. ⎯ By the new piece of information, all she could gather was that her grandfather hated her father. It is funny to hear about her grandparents, she never thought she had one or is it Claude who never spoke too much about his family. Not even his parents. At maximum, her uncles and aunt. She knew he had siblings but never touched on this subject, as it was kind of sore for him to talk.
❛ Do you think, my grandfather would like to meet me? ❜ She inquired curious, part of her wanting to meet her grandfather, another part anxious maybe it is a BAD idea after all. She checked her phone and saw Alex texting he is approaching the twins, they were on the way to the drive-thru to bring some snacks at home. ❛ So, I think you should go, my twins are arriving. But we can meet up soon, again. ❜ Stella said she wouldn't go anywhere so here is the opportunity to meet her.
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Wait wait wait am i a fucking idiot or like
Holmes says he faked his death so Moriartys gang wouldnt know he was alive, basically.
But. But. Moran saw him. Holmes knows that.
So like. Did he just... ignore that??? Like he figured he already commited to the bit?
#HOLMES WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THAT GUY SAW YOU LIVED!#what do you mean!!!! theres no way he didnt spread the news!#have i been missing this. the entire time. or am i still missing something#sherlock holmes#acd holmes
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The Rosemary Tree is the first time I've had to put down a book so I could sob over how beautiful it was.
#elizabeth goudge how do you keep doing this?#her books are such a strange thing for me#either they're 'yes it's pretty but could you please get to the point and have something happen?'#or i am slammed with waves and waves of intense overwhelming emotion so i almost can't stand how deeply it affects me#i think it helps to read it at the same time of year the story occurs#the dean's watch during advent was a life-changing experience#and now reading this book in march is having a very similar effect#i actually had to go in a room by myself to properly cry#because someone caught me tearing up#and how could i begin to explain that i'm sobbing my heart out because miss giles is reading the secret garden?#i've cried over sad moments in books but i've never felt anything like this#such intense joy and sorrow all mixed in so you can't tell which emotion is causing the tears#it's been like two hours since that happened and i'm still shook#my world is upended#and i'm being reminded in an entirely new way of what really great literature can do#the rosemary tree#elizabeth goudge
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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My DM after having been adding features to my character on DnDBeyond: oh my GOD you have so many weapons how do you have so many weapons good grief
As if he, playing all the Shopkeeps, wasn’t the one selling them all to me 😂
#I mean I get it he is running an entire universe of course he doesn’t remember everything every one of his players owns#but it was still a really funny interaction he was SO flabbergasted that I had this many weapons#buddy I am playing Literal Murderbot#and my friends need protecting#I spend most of my money on More Things To Protect My Friends With#like you’re counting this up after I’ve lost probably 10 hand axes already when I couldn’t recover my thrown weapons after battle#and yes I narrate picking up my thrown weapons and my DM decid s if I recover anything#he’s let me recover thrown items I was SURE were lost in the battle#like I’ve used up 10 handaxes in a single battle and thought they were all lost because I missed half my throws#and he grants me collecting 8 out of ten since I rolled high on an investigation check to look over the battlefield and gather them#so I have a crazy stash#I am here to keep my friends alive and literally nothing else#I have one job#I am security and I’ll die on this hill any and every time#every time I get paid for something I buy more consumable weapons#I need to be able to chuck something across the battlefield at the thing that’s attacking my buddy#i couldn’t care less about what’s attacking ME#I’ve put enough of my stats into/taken enough feats that I can presumably last a whole battle regardless of what’s biting me rn#so I can spend my action to demolish the threats to my friends#and ignore whatever has been chewing on my shoulder for three rounds#dungeons and dragons#dnd#murderbot
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im genuinely going to be INSUFFERABLE when chapters 3 and 4 come out like you have no idea.
#i cannot BELIEVE i've had the life-threatening deltarune illness for nearly 3 YEARS at this point. thats fucking insane#anyways im literally never gonna shut up about it. you have no idea. and *I* have no idea honestly. this will be the first time im#playing new deltarune content with ALLLLLLLL of this shit in mind. i played chp 2 as someone who was obsessed w chp 1 in middle school#on a very surface level. and ofc we had so much less then that the theory landscape was COMPLETELY different so even if i had#been aware of that side of things as a kid it wouldnt have made much of a difference probably. but these chapters will be an#ENTIRELY different experience that i am in NO way prepared for. like ive NEVER been invested in something like i am in deltarune#and ive never been SO deep in a theory community like i am in deltarune's. but that only rlly happened after chp 2#the sweepstakes was like a little taste of whats to come. but 3&4 will be a whole new experience that might genuinely kill me i think#im gonna take 80 years to get through them and even then im still gonna miss a billion things on my playthrough#me playing chp 2 like WAHHHH DELTARUNE THIS IS SO FUN vs me playing the new chapters completely locked in eyes 1 inch from the screen#scrutinizing every single pixel and reading into every word of dialogue for 30 minutes per line#im very scared about how my decision making's gonna go though. cuz these will be the first chapters where im playing them aware of#the player-kris distinction. before i could just chill and choose whatever i want but now i fear im just gonna get stunlocked#for sure im going to spend hours agonizing over which thing to choose trying to determine what i think kris would do. even tho#it probably doesnt matter. anyways i need to stop escaping to tumblr and finish this lets play#im doing the thing where i get too insane over the hyperfixation and have to stop interacting with it bcuz im going too crazy#serena.txt
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oh
that's
oh
i'm
i am legitimately tearing up oh wow
#yeah okay i'm pretty much full-on crying at this#i guess i just assume my writing is the kind of thing you read once and maybe go “that was all right/amusing/evil/stupid”#and proceed to forget about entirely#nothing fucks me up more than people saying they've reread something of mine#IN A GOOD WAY#but yeah it's weird and wild#god i miss writing fanfic#i haven't written much of anything since covid first hit the US#and there's been no fandoms i've been like. IN enough to write for.#and lmao i have literally never not once in my life felt like i could write a good crowley or aziraphale so nope not ruining them. probably#but man i wish i could maybe write some beauyasha or widomauk#and i would love to finish a wangxian or snowbaz fic HOW HAVE I NEVER FINISHED A WANGXIAN OR SNOWBAZ FIC#no taibanis?? no catradoras???? i am a failure#but getting a comment like this. mm. makes the not-writing anxiety ease off a bit.#it's always there and Judging me for not really writing anymore#and yeah i would love to write again. anything.#but at least i wrote something once upon a time and it made some people happy#that's still pretty fucking cool#hope i can share something new someday that might make other people happy too#michele.txt#idk where all this rambling in the tags came from i'm emotional and i miss writing!!!!!!!!!!
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kinda crazy how when i think on it, I left every single job i’ve ever had at the /perfect/ moment before it all went to shit. but i’m still so sad and nostalgic for them
#ok so mostly just for the movie theater#particularly that summer i was a manager#that was the happiest i have Ever been in a job#i left for school and i felt SO regretful at the time#and i still miss it so so much#but within 6 months the entire structure of the place changed#like 4 people got fired#(unrelated to the stucture change)#a bunch of the managers got demoted#and a few left bc of it#so like#if i /had/ stayed#i would've missed out on living on my own#and college life#which i miss dearly#AND i wouldve lost my job within 6 months anyways#or thinking about the craft store#i really liked that job too but i was being taken advantage of bc i am really easygoing and had open availability#and i needed something new in my life bc i was closer to suicide than i've ever been lmao#not bc of the job#but the job was too easy to offer any distraction#so i left#after being offered a FOUR DOLLAR raise#and then less than a month later the store manager quit without notice#and the entire place became a hell hole#as far as i'm aware everyone i knew had quit within 3 months#and almost every job i've ever been in has a really similar story#after i left my jon from last summer#(worst job i've ever had by far)#almost the entire staff quit
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mentally ill people who for whatever reason end up wearing the same exact clothing so many days in a row that it begins to disintegrate and will still not stop wearing it until it’s literally just scraps of fabric VS. those weird shitty rich people who ‘’can’t be seen in the same outfit twice’’ human dichotomy
#poast brought to you by my pants that are missing an entire leg and completely open in the back and the front almost#to the point they could not really be considered pants anymore (I wear lots of layers so i have shorts under them but lol)#I tore them again sitting down and it made me introspect about when it's time to throw clothes out and how everyone has different standards#and etc. Like how some people will get stains on clothing and just throw it away#.where others will keep wearing stained stuff if they have an attachment to it. etc. etc.#or like One hole in jeans is okay but 20 holes is Crossing A Line - unless they were made that way as a fashion trend#which then made me think about those people who like.. change clothes multiple times a day and never want to rewear stuff#and just have a constant stream of fast fashion etc. Anyway. not a real dichotomy. just being silly. i like to think about humans behaviors#brggghghb.. still not being very productive as I just keep having flare up after flare up of various chronic issues I have so I'm feeling#sick like every few days but always for different reasons. As if something has increased the general inflammation in my entire body#and its just bopping around making different things worse here and there. but I'm not sure of any underlying cause.#theorectially could always be stress since I am often stressed but I don't feel stressed more than usual. I have no infection markers#on blood tests and my covid tests so far have been negative. I guess my body just felt like 'hey happy new year. would you like.. uhm...#some... Problems.. as a treat? OuO''#I mean I'm lucky at this point that I don't have a condition that makes me completely bedridden or something and am grateful for that but#having so many smaller issues in the background overlapping all the time can be ehxausting and make it feel like a larger issue#because you just never get a break. once one problem clears up it's another. etc. modifying diet. supplements. doctors. new issue. new modif#ications. new doctors. new this#new that. etc. For my body to reach some sort of non-inflammed stable state I feel like I'm going to have to just be suspended in a gladd#*glass antigravity chamber for 3 years eating nothing but basic gruel and iv liquids. something so bland and so untriggering of anything#that literally nothing can be inflammed or etc. lol.. Though I'd probably still somehow have joint pain even with nogravity.#ANYWAY... I did finally edit a new sims video. for the few of you that follow my sims youtube. I have costumes totally ready to post I just#literally havent had the energy to queue up the photos. STILL WORKING ON EVIL WORLDBULDING SLIDESHOW task of epic proportions#. other videos. other stuff. I've had to spend some time on social stuff since I really ned to get started finding friends in the potential#places I'd like to move so I know people when I get there. as it takes me like years to trust someone. but hjgh... I am so like. inherently#unrelatable to the average person. at least the avg people on friend making sites and stuff. I even made a perosnal compatibility quiz#but again.. thats something most people don't do lol... ''buhh just text snapchat me & get to know me through conversation why should i take#a 15 minute quiz up front?'' shut up. i woudl LOVE to take a custom compatibility quiz before talking to someone. its efficent. you will nev#er get it. that is a positive to me. if only anyone else did that. if only. (I'm being jokingly rude. its perfectly reaosnable for people to#have different standards and communication styles. etc. etc. lol) ANYWAY.. tldr me sleepy and feel bad no productive wehh
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no storm surveyors came to confirm anything but after looking at the damage and talking with everyone who lives around my house my dad says they're pretty sure it was a tornado that hit saturday night. so 😬
#ive never wanted one to hit my house but y'all. when i say my entire life i've wanted to go through a tornado.#then there likely was one that went right over my house and i MISSED IT. WHY AM I ALWAYS GONE WHEN COOL WEATHER STUFF HAPPENS.#make no mistake i wouldve been bawling my eyes out the entire time lmao. i have ptsd from one that nearly hit us in 2019.#this wouldve been equally as traumatizing but still! i feel like i missed out on something!#if it was a tornado it wouldve probably been ranked a high end ef0#worst damage to houses is the ones where trees fell on them and it was the weaker structures like barns that got crumpled and destroyed
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Babe I gotchu.
22, 23, and 27?
22: are you a morning person?
LOL no
23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?
Oh boyyyyyyyyyy depends on how truly lazy I am.
If I feel somewhat productive I LOVE painting for hours and just letting my creativity flow 💖
If I’m ‘don’t want to get up’ lazy then I used to just chill on my couch with my trusty bong and watched a movie or binge watched a show (usually ended with me passed out taking a 3+ hour nap)
27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?
I’m not a huge gum fan tbh. I guess fruity?
#bro I am the sleepiest person you will ever meet#I don’t say that as an exaggeration#I can literally sleep all day if I wanted to#so that makes mornings incredibly hard to get up and get going#especially when I’m feeling depressed and dont want to face the world??? going back to bed and hiding under the blankies is the best option#lately it’s been SO HARD for me to get up and going#back at my old place I was a little better…. still didn’t love mornings but I wanted to get up early so I could enjoy the sun#and get as much done as I could in a day#but ever since I moved I don’t have that motivation anymore#lazy days are very very very few and far between like I don’t remember the last time I had a lazy day with 0 obligations#I think the fact that I don’t really have a job I always feel like I should be searching or applying or something#but I do remember back at my old place and I would have a few lazy days every now and then#where the lazy would win and I would just chill on the couch the entire day#I mean I do miss the lazy days with my ex tbh#just chilling with someone and not caring what time it is… just having to decide what to watch and what to eat#the days#I don’t remember the last time I chewed on some gum#I think it’s cause when I worked in bridal you can’t chew gum so I just stopped#I’m more of a mint girl I guess#thank you for the questions babe!#ask#anon
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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from me to you — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter 🙏
“y/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!”
that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.
you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is “wifey” written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.
you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.
hey, honey!!
it first reads.
I feel like there is still much I didn’t tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.
you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.
first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of “satoruisthebest” at one point. your confusion was so cute!!
you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldn’t log into your computer.
what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.
“satoru, I am telling you it’s broken!”
“sweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,” he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.
“2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!”
you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.
second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.
your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.
it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of ‘you handed sukuna’s ass to him, very cool!’
no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoru’s presence or antics. it rooted itself as something—safe and familiar.
you can’t count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.
it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.
he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.
third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.
at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoru’s schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.
it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.
satoru’s care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.
“satoru, have you seen my uniform?”
“nope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? you’ve been working so hard, wifey!”
you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, “you’ve been working harder, ‘toru. let me take off some of the load at least.”
“we could both stay!”
“you’re kidding, right?”
“I already told yaga; I miss you!”
you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.
fourth, I’m the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.
a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoru’s favorite pastime was cuddling, so it’s no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.
add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.
you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.
“babeeee, it’s so cold! let’s cuddle!”
“maybe the problem is with the thermostat?”
“I checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.”
you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.
he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.
then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.
fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.
you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.
your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each other’s arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.
hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.
“you know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,” he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.
“three am thoughts?”
“three am admissions,” he grins slightly, “I am made for you, and you’re made for me.”
you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, “and what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?”
he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, “grounding me.”
I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?
your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.
the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.
“but wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,” you hear nobara remark.
megumi responds with a small chuckle, “I am fine with mine.”
“what about you, y/n-sensei?—”
the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, “so shitty.”
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