#have had many thoughts about the whole ''if you HATE children-'' posts i saw around

[eternitas]

I don't hate kids. I just fear them.

I fear them and I can not get along with them. It's less thir fault and more my incompetence. Children are honest to a fault. Many can not lie without giggling, many bluntly tell what they think without really thinking of what that might cause. I fear that. I fear the honesty and ruthlessness of a child telling me my faults. As excitable they are, the idea of them telling me I am not good enough is terrifying. It isn't their fault. They are new to this world, they just learn to form their thoughts into sentances, their opinions into words, but I am fragile. I am scared.

Kids are a part of everyday life. They exist and they always will. But I am already sensitive to sounds and stimuli. On my one free day on which I have energy, going into a store full of families with crying kids that don't want to be there is like a direct assault at my energy level. And when I watch these kids I can tell that most don't want to be there. They are bored, overstimulated themselves, they feel uncomfortable, they don't like it and they want the world to know. It's not their fault. They are just tiny human beings bound to bigger human beings who live in a world where it's impossible to find someone that can take care of their kids while they go shopping. I also understand that kids NEED to be socialized and brought into social spaces to learn about the world. What a supermarket is, or what a clothing store looks like. You need your child there to make sure what you pick out for them actually fits and they like it and aren't uncomfy. But it is still too much for everyone. Parents are stressed, they lose their temper, their children don't understand what's wrong and their confusion becomes more and more audiable.

And I am right in the middle unable to escape, because I need a new set of pants and today is the one day I have time and motivation to leave the house. And I instantly regret it.

I don't want children. The thought of something invading my body and slowly growing in there terrifies me. It makes me sick and my skin crawl. Everyone speaks of how hard and aweful pregnancies are, but they swear that as soon as you hold them, that it was all worth it and a completely new world opens up to you. You are a woman! you will finally be fullfiled!, I hear my mom say, as my body tenses and my heartbeat quickens. The thought makes me want to run away. And what if I don't love that thing that grew up inside of me? What then? This is a lifelong commitment. I will have to care and be responsible for it, I can't just give it away and absolve myself of all my responsibility for a new tiny human being. No I don't want children. And if I don't really want one, then I won't have one. I will not gamble for a possible epiphany of motherhood, because a child deserves more than a gamble. It deserves a gurantee. It deserves security.

I don't hate children. I don't even hate what I fear. I know spiders are important. They need to exist for the ecosystem, they have their place in this world. They are truly fascinating. But I don't want them near me. We can coexist but please not in the same space. It's too much for me. It makes me cry, it makes me shake, it makes my skin tingle, my thoughts race and crash.

I don't hate children. I know they need to exist in public spaces, I know that is good for them and society. But it's too much for me personally. And Explaining that to people is often so much. This post alone is longer than it should be. I don't hate children. I fear them, they are too much for me to handle and we do not get along.

So when someone asks what I think of children or working with them as my job, or even having them myself, all I can do is shrug and say:

"I don't like children."

And I know they will judge me.

[jewishvitya]

This post is. A personal need to vent again.

Daniel Levy: "I personally believe that Israelis can never have security until Palestinians have security. That equation, the equation that you can impose a regime of structural violence on another people, that you can deny another people their basic rights and you will live with your own security, that equation never works. And I hope one day - Palestinians of course, but also, Jewish Israelis will experience the idea of how liberating it can be to no longer be an oppressor."

It's not possible, and it's also unfair. They deserve security.

I get accused of so many things, but I believe that we can't have safety without a fundamental change.

And I care about our morality. Once in a while I think about the cheerful, well-mannered, compassionate kids I used to babysit in the West Bank settlements. Kids who would then fantasize about being soldiers and hurting Palestinians, because they were taught this is heroic. A six years old child, a child who's always generous and always empathetic, with a huge smile talking about killing. And I can't stop thinking about those children.

Writing this, I started thinking about a song that I wanted to share. It's a song that makes me very emotional. Some lines in it are about a girl screaming, "love me, don't teach me war." Crying for innocence. And then realized... it's a song about peace, but I don't know what kind. Does it consider Palestinians and their suffering. Or does it imagine a future where they aren't here. I don't know how to check for the history of the lyrics and the politics of the person who wrote them. I can't trust our desire for peace.

I told this story here before, but for me in many ways it shows the nature of the occupation and what it does to the people perpetuating it. My classmate and I were around 14 years old. We walked by the electric fence and we saw a Palestinian child playing near her home. I can't remember how old she might have looked, but think anywhere between 4 and 8. My classmate had a chocolate bar and she broke off a piece and waved it at the child, asking if she wants it. The child didn't speak Hebrew, but she saw the chocolate, so she nodded, all excited. My classmate threw the chocolate past the fence and it landed in bushes. The child started looking for it.

And my classmate had so much disdain in her voice when she laughed and called her a pig. Just a child wanting some sweets that were offered to her.

My classmate was a young teenage girl who had a whole nation dehumanized for her, to the point where a child wanting a piece of chocolate was something to hate. And I don't want to pretend I was better. I just thought it wasn't very nice. I was always kinda diplomatic, trying to be civil, and I still lean in that direction. So it bothered me as impolite, but not beyond that. It took a few years before I thought about this and was horrified. Just like with the kids I got to babysit. At the time, it was my normal. Now it makes me want to cry.

I hate that these ways of thinking exist in us. I want to change things for us too. Because no group of people is inherently bad, but given dynamics of oppression, every group has this capacity. And I don't want to see people I love causing harm.

And since the oppression is the root of it - I have hope for healing too. But today, I just... can't seem to stop crying for very long at a time. The tears don't want to stop. The hope feels very far and all I have is grief.

Children shouldn't be dreaming of war and killing.

[angelbornaltruist]

Rewatching the first episode of Attack on Titan after finishing the series is one of the most devastating experiences, because you see everything with completely new eyes from the first viewing.

And yes I'm yapping about this bc I just showed it to my Nana on a whim and my head is filled with too many thoughts to leave unwritten.

SPOILER ALERT BELOW

Like, the Titans go from being these terrifying monsters to being tragic victims. You can't feel scared or tense in the same way, knowing that these are men, women, and children, forced to become the monsters they've been called their whole lives.

The most prominent feeling, though, is that sensation of unease and dread that permeates the whole first episode. In a sense, it's similar to watching for the first time, as the episode opens with that famous statement that "at that moment, everything changed." You watch as these three kids engage in what seems to be a day like any other, but the icky feeling in the back of your mind reminds you that something about this world is simply not right.

But rewatching it is so much worse, particularly in the case of Eren Jeager.

You see this child, and you understand now that while he seems like an innocent child with dreams of freedom, you notice how *outspoken* he is, how fiercely he speaks towards everyone, and you feel even worse, because you know what this boy is about to go through, just how much he's going to suffer, exactly what he's going to do, and how much he's going to fight, fight, fight for what he believes in.

So when vogel im kafig starts playing, as the smiling titan - no, you think, *Dinah* - wraps her fingers around Carla's body, as the jaws close and the screams of that boy tear through the air, you know *exactly* what's going to happen next, but there's nothing you can do. So as much as it hurts the first time, the hurt that comes from a cruel, uncaring death of a mother, it's so much worse when you realize it's the beginning of a tragedy like none other.

It's the beginning of a story not of hope, or freedom, or even revenge (although the show is about this, the first episode seems eerily eren focused, at least to me), but it's the story of a boy who lost himself to anger, to pain, to fear, and to the endless cycle of fighting, fighting, *fighting*, always moving forward but never moving ahead, who became the exact monster he so hated; a slave to the pursuit of the very thing he do desperately desired.

You watch the credits roll. Maybe a tear appeared in the corner of your eye, maybe you simply let out a sigh, maybe you went on tumblr and posted an unnecessary rant about it, but you had to do *something* to express your feelings on what you saw.

It was like watching a car crash in slow motion. You know exactly where it went wrong, and you know there's nothing that could have been done to stop it.

In a sense, you're just as much a slave as eren was.

[buddiesmutslut]

I saw a post the other day about someone being pissed that people were calling Eddie gay instead of bi only because they couldn't handle more than one bisexual person on a show. Now, I didn't make Eddie gay/demi, he was born that way, BUT it got me thinking, because the whole crew feels very fruity? SO, I want to get your guys' opinions on what you think the rest of the characters are. (JUST the characters. We're not speculating on the actors. We all know this.) I'm going to put mine below & I'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts :) These are by vibes only. As a definite demisexual and probable bi woman, idk how great my gaydar is, but sexuality is a spectrum & straight isn't the default, so let's go!!

Bobby - 0% fruity. That is a straight, middle aged white man (affectionate) if I've ever seen one.

Athena - Also straight.

Chim - Chim feels very straight to me, but that scene with the bachelor had me peering at him a little closer, because I've never watched the Bachelor, but it looked like Joey (I think that was the bachelor's name, right? I've never watched a single episode of that show so I have no idea) had been around before, so I couldn't tell if he was like, starstruck, or "Wow that's a pretty boy and it's making me feel things" -struck 😂

Maddie - I don't get many vibes from her either, but I also have a vague fic idea of Madney breaking up in s4/s5 and her ending up with Shannon instead, so idk, maybe she's just unlabeled but somewhere on the spectrum of queerness?

Shannon - Bi vibes

Taylor Kelly - 100% bi, I refuse to hear any other argument.

Lucy Donato - This is a pansexual woman if I've ever seen one, you cannot convince me otherwise. (Also, the most interesting AND likable of Buck's female LI's, argue with the wall. Lucy, they'll never make me hate you bby 🩷💛💙.)

Lena Bokso - Lesbian vibes, for sure. I don't think there was ANY romantic undertones with her and Eddie (Which, I'm not saying that's the only reason I think she's a lesbian. She can like men and not like Eddie. Even if she did, Eddie wasn't in a place to do anything with those feelings, but I saw a post about that pairing recently & wanted to throw my 2 cents in)

May Grant - May also gives off queer vibes, and I've seen other view her as full wlw, but I think she gives off more bi/pan vibes?

Ravi - This man is soommmeee kind of queer that I just cannot put my finger on. I've seen him HC'd as gay, pan, & ace in some way, and I can honestly rock w/ any of the 3 of them. All I know is that he is not a straight man lol.

Albert - Also unsure about him, but if someone were to tell me that he was bi, I could definitely see it. I think that's influenced by the fic that had him, Ravi & May in a throuple, which was genuinely so cute.

Ana - Dr. Flores doesn't give off queer vibes for me, but that could be bc she was criminally underdeveloped & we know practically nothing about her.

Natalia - See above ^^

Ali Martin - Same ^^ although I could see her just being queer and not being more specific than that. Maybe she's straight, who knows. I literally forgot about her until I was looking up actor/actress names 😂

M*risol - straight & homophobic lmfao

Abby - Literally could not care less about her, but I wanted to include her so I could talk about her possibly being Tommy Kinard's ex-girlfriend and her coming back to LA for whatever reason and finding her ex-boyfriends happy & having totally forgotten about her predatory ass.

Also, obviously not speculating about any of the children, bc they're still children, even if they're fictional. It's icky.

I think that's all the main/reoccurring characters that we don't already know about, let me know if I missed any.

Talk about being the gay firefighter show, how accurate lmfao.

[nectardaddy]

It was hilarious how you corrected the ask about you being a bad teacher lol

I genuinely have a question for ppl though-

Do they not understand that how you act on your social media or outside of your work doesn’t mean that’s how you act when you’re doing your job???? Like my blog is full of comments abt my fictional men 🥴🥴🥴 but do I act like that at work?? No. Do I act like that around kids (namely my little brother bcs he’s fr the only kid I interact with) no. So like it doesn’t make sense to me

To me that’s similar to the “Oh they have dyed hair so they’re incompetent!” Or “They have piercings and tattoos so they obviously do drugs!” Kinda of people but that’s just my two cents.

You seem like a really fun teacher and I think if I had a teacher like you when I was in school I wouldn’t have hated it nearly as much as I did. You’re making the day fun for the kids based off the stories you tell and treat them like humans which is really important and something easily overlooked by some other teachers and parents. Anyways…that was my ramblings. Have a good day Dodger and I would love to hear more teacher rambles 🥰🫶🏻

-sincerely bakery anon 🍪 <3

I popped off in this I'm sorry lol, I just had A LOT to say about this topic.

I dropped everything to answer this because I love to speak on this topic, despite it being frustrating. But ahhh thank you for enjoying my reply lol!

A lot of people (and I say a lot because it truly is, I have at least 4 parents every year that think similarly to this) think that social media IS REAL. The whole "what you see is what you get" thought process really rings true for a lot of people and it is genuinely concerning. With that though, a lot of people ALSO think how you act OUTSIDE of work describes who you are as a worker as well which is SO STUPID!

I mean, I get it, I am teaching children at the end of the day. I understand there are some things I shouldn't post on a PUBLIC platform with my name attached to it (and I don't) because my students may see it. That being said though, everything I do post that's even a little risqué, especially anything thirst related to fictional characters, is under LOCK AND KEY and completely under a different name (see "nectardaddy" with the pseudonym dodger lol).

As for the kinds of people you brought up, you are 100000000% correct. In my four years of teaching, the parents (and I bring up parents a lot bc they are the adults here, children genuinely don't care and are 9/10 beyond kind and accepting) that give me the most grief about MY behavior think like this. I have tattoos (lots of them), I have many piercings, I have a blue mullet for christ sake lol and there is always someone (an adult parent) who COMPLAINS ABOUT IT??? I have had calls to my principle before that a parent SAW ME AT A BAR AFTER SCHOOL. AFTER SCHOOL!!! Apparently I'm not allowed to do that?? Because apparently to them it was "inappropriate to do that because I'm a teacher." Thank god I have a good principle, she laughed right in that woman's face.

I've also had nasty, heinous comments about my preferences (which isn't any of their business #1 and doesn't pertain to school AT ALL #2) and disgusting assumptions made about me, my past, my husband, and who I am as a person BY ADULTS all because I didn't let little timmy talk to his friend while I was trying to teach him math. (But then when he fails math because I let him talk that's my fault too.) I truly think this mindset comes from simple entitlement and need for control, amongst some other things but I'm not one to delve into politics too hard here.

But, it warms my heart to know that a lot of people, including yourself, think I'm a good teacher! At the end of the day though, I do this (teaching) for THEM. I wouldn't want to sit there for 7 seven hours either so we don't! We go outside, move around, work in groups, we talk to our friends, we're loud, WE'RE LEARNING! I think the worst thing a teacher can do is treat students less than, because they are, although small, HUMAN! As well as many other things, it's my job to teach them HOW to human! How to express emotions healthily, show compassion, learn empathy, know one's self worth, and know that failing isn't an end - it's a step forward in the right direction.

So bakery anon, I want you to know, from a teacher that would've loved to have you in class, YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE AMAZING. YOU ARE SO GREAT. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO AND YOU WILL ACHIEVE GREATNESS. DO WHAT YOU LOVE, DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOUR DREAMS ARE SHIT. DREAMS ARE WHAT KEEP YOU HUMAN! NEVER, EVER, EVER STOP DREAMING!

[shoujoboy-restart]

Didn't Israel attack a celebrity for speaking out against the atrocities? Response to that post I just saw about them claiming the crisis actor thing.

Also about Israel, is everybody that still supports Israel are bad people like the people in that protest from days ago in Washington showing support towards them? Cuz I kind of do feel a little conflicted because one of those reasons involved the October 7th massacre, which is kind of rarely brought up and the focus is more on the Palestinians, which I'm not saying shouldn't be focused on but it looks like most people are making it seem like what Israel is doing is proof that every Jewish people are bad and that the Nazis had a point, which is something I feel like is alluded to somehow with the rise of anti-Semitic hate crimes around the world.

Like I mean come on a fucking man just killed a young boy to death because of this fucking conflict and this idea that Jewish people are the bad guys and the conflict shows that which I don't feel is fair at all to condone everybody because their government is following Hitler's steps with their own touch.

Yeah they tried to drag Bella Hadid(a model with Palestinian heritage) on their fucking Instagram stories, it was so patethic lmao.

I wouldn't say everyone who supports Israel is a bad person, that's a very pointless generalization, many of them are people that since babies believed this was some sort of birthright of them to have this land and all Palestinians were evil people who seeked to kill them, before the current conflict there was some random girl on TikTok who made storytime/vent about how she had these neighbors that were nice and lovely and sweet, but after she discoverwd they were Palestinian she immediately started to believe they would hate her, kill her hark and therefore want then harmed as well, again, completely unprovoked without any aggression from the neighbors, Zionist Jew are under some crazy powerful propaganda and cult like beliefs.

And it is absolutely disgusting to think every single Jew is somehow at fault for israel's actions, Netanyahu had a absolutely abysmall approval ratings before the conflict, and he will absolutely not be elected democratically again or still be in power if there any actual democracy in that place and the support for him is extremely isolated, Jews in and out of Israel have always protested and fought against the occupation.

Both Islamophobic and Antisemitic hate crimes are on the rise, and if you are talking talking about 6 year old Wadea Al-Fayoume that killed by his landlord it is absolutely a case of how the media was at first reporting completely favourably of the Israel government:

“The father said [the landlord] had built a tree house for the boy and allowed him to swim in a makeshift pool and brought him toys. But it wasn’t until he started watching the news and hearing the statements [about the war] that something changed,”

Obviously there was probably some sort on mental illness at fault too(still not enough for a insanity please as of now it seems), but divise politics got a whole generation of people saying and protesting wanting a little black girl hanged and lynched for just wanting to go school as well.

Although I don't agree with the Hitler comparison(even thought the Israel got caught saying the whole "children of children's, children of darkness" shit that was found to be a mindset within the SS army) yeah Jews shouldn't be penalized for what Israel is doing, not Israel citizens should, we can complain about collective punishemwnt for Gazans and Palestinian and then make excuse for the same thing with Jews and Israelis

[rottenbrainstuff]

Haha I just saw an Instagram post complaining about how we went from beautiful masterful renaissance paintings to Jackson pollock paint splatters.

You know what guys, I don’t even LIKE a lot of contemporary art that much ok? I don’t, yet I still find myself defending it all the time and that makes me mad, don’t make me have to defend this stuff I don’t even like.

To boil it down extremely, extremely, extremely simply:

1) once cameras were invented and became widely accessible, art was no longer stuck having to be strictly representational, and artists began to get more and more experimental with how art could be used to express feelings and ideas, instead of just a strict representation of reality. Artists like to explore boundaries and limitations. Every new movement was shocking when it was first a thing. Those impressionist water lilies that are so popular everyone knows them nowadays: people hated that when it was new. Van Gogh? The art movement he was a part of was literally called “the wild beasts” (fauvism) because people thought it was so ugly and crude.

2) the old masters you are probably thinking about learned painting as a trade, like a guy going to a technical school to become a mechanic, and most of them started learning it as children. Most of those paintings you admire so much were never created to be the artist’s personal expression, they were mostly hired by wealthy people to paint something that showed off the wealthy person’s wealth, either “look, I can afford to hire someone to paint this giant ass painting” or literally “look, I hired someone to paint this giant ass painting of myself standing in front of my massive land and wearing all my expensive accessories”. Those were the first vanity selfies! Back in the day you had to pay someone and wait three years for it. Lol. As that one popular post going around tumblr says: if we had people quitting highschool and going to painting school as teenagers, then having every one of their expenses paid by rich people so they can just sit and work on a painting for three years, you’d have beautiful stuff like that.

3) there ARE still beautiful representational paintings being made, actually! You just aren’t seeing them because you’re not going out to a variety of shows, you’re only seeing the famous controversial works that everyone likes to complain about. For instance JUST off the very top of my head, every year my city has a big western uh festival I guess and there is a showing of western artists and sculptors making art with western Canadian themes. I have never seen so many beautiful paintings of landscapes or horses. Tons of them. Probably at least 50 artists. Just in my small area of Canada. They’re still there. Why aren’t you trying to go out and see it? Why are you just looking for the weird avant-garde stuff to complain about?

4) perhaps most importantly: it’s not being made for you. That sounds rude maybe or overly simplistic but like that’s the best I can explain it and do try to wrap your head around it: the weird-ass art that’s a banana duct-taped to the wall: that’s not being made for you, you’re not the audience. You know, those old portraits, they were meant to be looked at and admired by a large audience of people, but this new stuff, it’s really not going for the same thing at all, it’s not made to be appealing to the general public as a pretty object of decoration. It’s got a WHOLE different thing it’s trying to do. I’m not defending the weird stuff and saying it’s all awesome and you’re just too stupid to understand it, trust me I went to college with some of the most insufferable artistes you can imagine and I know exactly the process and the intent behind all of this and guys I don’t necessarily like it either! I don’t. I’m just trying to explain. It’s different, it’s a whole different animal, it’s like complaining that you don’t like action movies when you went to see an action movie: you’re just not the audience. I know action movies are dumb and loud, they’re supposed to be like that, that’s how people like them, and it’s not a tragedy that we don’t have people making black and white silent movies anymore… it’s just different.

Whether you think this stuff is worthy of being displayed in large museums and having tax dollars spent on it, my friends that’s a totally different conversation that I’m not having here, and I don’t necessarily disagree with you there: I just, look, I spend four years and a lot of money learning art history and I took an honest to god class about how to look at contemporary art, and it just makes me feel tired when people make these dumb “kids these days” posts about why we don’t have renaissance paintings these days, implying it’s some sort of fault of degenerate or lazy artists who just don’t want to paint good anymore. That’s all I’m saying.

Ok?

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Goddamn I APPROVE of that Ethan Landry history you wrote. Even though, like I said, I’m more into that absolute worthless deadbeat of a dad he has, but damn the whole family dynamic is so interestingly fucked up. It was so damn obvious in the movie how the family had one golden child, and before and after that nothing mattered to their father. I don’t think Quinn mattered that much to him either, it was always all about Richie.

And it probably was like that ever since the kids were very small. Maybe it was even one of those cases where all Wayne ever wanted was a son, and after he got that he didn’t really care about having more children, but his wife wanted a girl, which lead to Ethan and Quinn. Maybe that lead to some resentment towards his wife too from early on? (Did that resentment in Wayne build so far over the years that his first murder was his wife? Did he take that from Ethan too, his mother?)

And it’s kinda implied that Richie had luck with the ladies while Ethan…. didn’t. (Most likely thanks to his rock bottom self esteem, he is cute after all.) I wonder if that drove Ethan not only further to hate his bully of a brother, but to turn towards somewhat an incel mentality (given that he saw women go for his brother, who was an absolute trash heap of a man)? Also his sister was very openly sex positive, which a bitter young man could easily see as behaving like a slut. And if his sister is the only girl whose behavior he saw up close, a young bitter mind could easily make the connection that all women are like that, and since he still didn’t get any attention from anyone, it would make sense that that would build up his rage too. Like; women didn’t see him, did they? All they saw were stupid rude fucks like his stupid brother. Oh but he would make women see him. They’d see the white mask.

Whooooops you are not the only one who has feels about this insane family. You have again written some A+ character insight. I love some good angst.

-Furball891

---

Oh Furball! Thank you so much! I love whenever you send in an ask or leave a comment like this! It always does everything for my mood! I have so many thoughts, so many feelings, so much love inside for him, it is nuts. I am very excited to explore more of this movie and these characters, there are many thoughts running around my head and I cannot wait to write them out.

I am writing some Ethan smut right now actually! And I hope everyone else likes it even better than this history I posted!

[creaturebehavior]

damn i have so much unhealed trauma

every time a natural disaster strikes i’m flooded with thoughts and memories and emotions and when i see people talking about it so freely it makes me angry for some reason because after the fire happened i didn’t have anybody to talk to about it and i still am carrying it around

i have not even talked to meagan about what happened.

the fire put this huge wedge between me and my family, me and my friends, me and my life.

i never talked about what happened with anybody, because i knew they wouldn’t understand

what i have shared in therapy didn’t even feel like it did much. i dissociated through it. and they didn’t understand anyway and it’s painful to have gone through something that people don’t understand.

they don’t know what i saw. they would never be able to even picture it in their heads if i described it to them

what happened was beyond words. it was beyond video.

i took video of the town burning down in flames around me but i hesitated to show anyone the video because in the video, the camera made the fire to appear to be farther away than it was in person, and i didn’t want someone to see the video and think i had been through anything less than what really happened. i think my dad forced me to show him the video though and the whole time i had to tell him it was worse than it looks. god i hate my dad so much

the first thing that happened when i got to a safer area was my dad screaming at me and throwing a mattress across the room and telling me that. You know what i can’t even finish this post

what happened that day fills me which such pain and anger, that at times when i remember what happened, i wish death upon my dad. That’s how angry i am at him for treating me the way he treats me.

We have not spoken since 2020. I do not plan on ever speaking to him again, if i can help it. unless i have a change of heart.

but he really drilled the nail into the coffin. i think he made his bed and he should lie in it.

i will never have children, because i know what it’s like to be raised by a severely mentally ill parent, and i refuse to inflict that on any child.

trigger warning CSA in this paragraph. i am tired of being the product of 3 severely mentally ill parents. every day of my childhood, multiple times a day i would say i know my dad is abusing all of us, but his parents abused him worse, so it’s okay. Bullshit. fuck him. And the only reason i knew about how badly his parents abused him is because he would tell us all the time. how his mom would beat him with a switch and with sticks and his father would beat him with a belt and how his mom would beat him as a baby every time he cried until he stopped crying and all the stuff his parents would say and do to him like the time he almost drowned at camp when he was four because his mom lied about his age and said he was six and said he could swim and then when she came to pick him up he didn’t tell her about it because he would have gotten in trouble and just all kind of shit like that and how his teachers would beat him with a paddle and how his sister and her friends would molest him. he would tell me and my brother this when i was as little as 3 or 4. it felt like every day there was a new horror story with gory details and he would scream at us and then cry and force us to hug and console him. I’m tired of carrying the weight and the burden of his childhood. i didn’t get to have my childhood because i was so worried about his.

i hate my dad so much for so many reasons. i can’t feel bad for him anymore. i literally don’t have the capacity. i have to stay no contact with him because i go into the fawn response around him because that’s the only way i know how to keep myself safe. i decided to cut off all contact with him until i am strong enough to hold my boundaries in his presence, and i swore to myself i will not talk to him if i’m not ready. fuck his excuses and his fake medical emergencies. i don’t care anymore. he has no idea how exhausting it is to grow up taking care of a grown man.

it’s the kind of abusive relationship that you know probably will not be over until the both of you are dead. i can cut off contact all i want but he’s going to continue to try to get in contact with me. he never leaves me alone. he won’t respect me or my boundaries. god i hate him so much.

i had one more thing to say but i forgot it because i am just stressed out writing this vent post and i think i’m beginning to dissociate oh yeah my arms are numb bye

edit: i remember what i was going to say.

my dad instilled in me a fear of life and a fear of trying new things.

every single time i tried something new, there was always a warning of the worst case scenario. i felt so scared to try anything new. every activity came with a warning of how dangerous it could be. and this has been ingrained into me. to always look for the worst possible scenario, to be on high alert, just in case.

i didn’t even try anything before developing an opinion about it, because my dad’s opinion was so strong. he’s one of those people that never shuts the fuck up. he’ll tell you the same thing multiple times in a row and not shut the fuck up. (pot calling the kettle black here, probably) now imagine being 6. imagine being 8. imagine being 2. or 3. and having your dad tell you every single thing you should worry about when doing something fun with your friends. Guess who was the friend that was afraid to participate with the other kids when they were doing something completely normal.

it’s my life’s goal to break free from the programming he drilled into my brain. and i hope i never speak to that man again.

[poorbrokemess]

hey, I'm not a vet and obv I dunno stuff like how your house/room is ventilated, but I noticed in your recent altar pics there's usually more than one candle burning along with some incense, and even if they're unscented cats have pretty sensitive respiratory systems compared to humans- I actually thought of it because you mentioned the bleach and sage in that last post, and even as a human I think I might feel kinda ill from having a lot of those fumes in the air, even in another room, and I know at least one cat's been in the altar pics with the candles/incense nearby.

again, not a vet or anything, and I know you could have a bunch of windows open or smt, but is there any chance the kitties might be inhaling too much of something that's irritating them/making them sick?

This was actually my first thought.

Before I ever assumed sickness I blamed myself, the incense, candles, at one point, the Gods themselves.

I keep good ventilation in my house as my partner has asthma. But I still, blamed that.

Until I realized, the two cats who are in those spaces, the ones I makes sure to keep airy because of my incense and candles, are actully better than the ones who died. Because they are alive. Not dead.

2 of the dead cats had never once been in my room, staying mostly with my children.

Bowbow stays in my room, because, *sigh* Beans hated him.

Cleo stays in the kitchen because she hates everyone.

Beans freeroamed the whole house as big boss, going where he pleased.

I only burn incense/candles in the kitchen and my bedroom because of the extra ventilation set up in those places.

Bowbow did go to the vet. They said distemper. It wasn't until I found out cats are dying enmass here that my partner started calling around to other people.

It hasn't been just my cats.

I fear this will have far greater consequences than any would expect. Cats dying enmass will bring about the plague again. With antibiotic resistance up?

I'm scared for a more serious thing than the simple fact 4 of my cats died.

My mother in law who lives hours away lost 5 barn cats. My friend lost her cat. I saw 2 dead cats on the side of the road the other day.

That hurricane brang with it something. And we are not prepared for whatever the hell is going to happen if whatever is causing them to die doesn't end.

2 of the cats that died in my house weren't even on the same level. The only thing that was similar is the people feeding them, watering them, cleaning their spaces, and the food/water.

They had their own rooms.

I'm not running about buying candles and incense in my kids rooms or even having it around them.

That alter I have been photographing lately? I take it down when I go to bed and don't put it up until later at night. It has a cent directly above it to outside. Candles make it hot. How else could I burn so many without getting sweaty and uncomfortable.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (879): Wed 14th Aug 2024

I was woken up at 2:50 AM by the sound of the burglar alarm from the pharmacy round the back of my house going off. I took a look out of my back window and saw that nearly the whole neighbourhood had their lights on so they had clearly been woken up by the noise. I decided to get changed and go around to all my neighbours and ask them if they fancied sponsoring me for a bungee jump I'm doing at the end of the summer. Strangely all of them felt compelled to tell me what time it was which I thought was irrelevant since they were clearly awake. It's not like they were sleeping through the alarm but were woken by me lightly tapping on their window. Eventually after getting about twenty doors slammed in my face I went back to bed and shortly thereafter someone evidently arrived to turn off the alarm (or I went temporarily deaf). Today I got my 500th follower on TWITTER!!!!! Holy fuck five hundred groovy motherfuckers all tuning in to read my stupid juvenile comments about Hollyoaks while the show is on. I never could have predicted this many people would care about me posting a photograph of a colourful outfit a character is wearing and comparing it to a PoKemon but clearly they do. I love Tweeting silly shit during Hollyoaks it's reinvigorated my love of the show, given me something to look forward to while I'm at work and it's paid for both my houses. And I'm not going to let the fact that these extra followers I gained to push me over the five hundred mark had nothing to do with a Hollyoaks related post but rather a tweet I posted when I saw Scooby Doo was trending which read "When you see Scooby Doo is trending and then discover he's fine". It still counts if I managed to gain these followers via non-Hollyoaks related tweets so fuck off or I'll come to where you live and set off a burglar alarm near your house to wake you up just like I didn't do to my own neighbours this morning. Speaking of Hollyoaks I tuned into tonight's episode which focused on Warren swearing revenge on whoever killed his mother. At the very least when Warren dies St Peter will commend him for that one day of his life where he put on a nice barbeque for his friends before listing off all the evil shit he did and pulling the lever sending him to Hell. Warren was about to set off to try and discover who killed Norma but Dave, wanting to keep him from starting a trail that would lead Warren to him told Warren that he would take him somehwere that might change his mind. Oh God I hoped the next scene would be Dave & Joel in a clothes shop & Warren steps out of a fitting room wearing one of Dave's colourful shirts with a smile on his face saying "You were right, I feel much better". However it turned out that Dave was taking Warren to the same grief councilling meeting he has been attending to help him cope with Lizzie's death. There were about ten people in the circle and I guarantee at least one person at the class was grieving for a relative that was killed by Warren. Although I hate Warren the character because the writers come up with any nonsensical excuse for him to get away with a crime & because they expect us to sympathize with him despite being a serial killer I can't deny Jamie Lomas is a good actor as he bawed his eyes out during this scene. Kind of like all the little children who won't get their life saving operations because of my greedy arsehole neighbours who refuse to donate a couple a quid to a sponsored bungee jump.

[mu-pt1]

vulkan

I feel as though I could never tell anyone about how I truly feel and what I truly think. this hurts inside. it hurts a lot. I cant go to any of my friends or family and bond over what hurts because I fear that they'll use it against me or laugh at me. its happened many times before and im sure itll happen many times after. this thought has driven me to do horrible things. some of which I cant escape even to this day.

this account isnt enough for me. I need someone out there to be able to listen to me and to talk with me about it. but at the same time im so used to keeping it to myself that I would hate talking to anyone else about it too. its mixed emotions all around and I hate it deeply. other than that, things have been going well. jj has finally gotten better at being a boyfriend and I was able to do some things I wasnt before.

im starting to get better but that doesnt mean im not doing horribly. I was watching something recently and it said “just when things start going right and you get comfortable, life slams you into a new path and youre back at square one.” something like that. it made me think. that happens a lot.

im still writing in that story I posted about a few posts back. the one about brook. ive noticed that although I tried to make her a different person from me, she has a lot of characteristics that are similar to mine. she’s an abused girl that thinks too much about life and has a lot of breaking moments. she has a younger brother that she had to raise her whole life. this is supposed to be a representation of an older, more mature version of me having to raise little me. 

there were moment I had to raise myself. I guess that manifested itself into my story. her father was hardly there and her mother was an alcoholic (the only difference is her mom quit drinking to care for her children. my mom never cared)

she has a boyfriend and she’s real popular in school. or was. she graduated. shes also really sexualized but doesnt realize it. (I never knew guys saw me) in such disgusting ways until jj told me.)

there was one moment in my story where I realized that I wasnt writing about brook. I was writing about me.

“I feel stuck. Stuck in time. Like I thought I knew who I was but in reality, I knew what growing up made me grow to be. Not who I am. Im a girl who’s mind is probably permanently stuck in time because I never grew up mentally. Forever, I will always be behind the rest. Whether that be by just a smidge or the whole wide world. I want to grow. To blossom. But that takes time. Time that I am afraid I dont have. I wont last forever and so I need to break through now but I cant do that because if I break through then im breaking myself. Do you understand me, L? Does that make sense?”

im afraid that if I dont grow up now, I wont grow up at all.

[peterparkersnose]

Corrupt

riddler x reader

riddler x politician daughter!reader

word count: 2.6k

warnings: stalking, mentions and descriptions of infidelity, mentions of alcohol, jealousy, mentions of pregnancy and abortion, paying off people in a wrongful manner

a/n there will be a part two babes, this is just so long already as it is. I like to chunk it up. as a reader, I get turned off by stories that run long. I hope you enjoy my first riddler fic :) 

(also, kat is not catwoman. I realized the reference after I wrote this, but I really liked the name so I kept it.) 

summary Y/N L/N. Daughter of an infamous Gotham senator. Edward takes a particular interest in her. When fate brings them together, he can’t help himself anymore. She needs to be shielded from her father’s corruptness. And from Bruce Wayne. 

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read time: 9 mins 44 seconds

Part 2

Y/N L/N. Gotham socialite, Graduate of GU, daughter of a senator, one of the most eligible women in the whole city. You have had links to many prominent people in this town, the most renowned one being Bruce Wayne. You currently were unemployed, but spent time at volunteer shelters. Things in your life seemed good. Your birthday was coming up. Your dad had just bought you a new car. You and your friends were planning a night out in Gotham for your twenty third birthday. But oh, little did you know. 

***

Edward Nashton was quite a subtle man. Blending into the background, being ignored, and staying quiet was his specialty. He was scouring news channels for any motive to play out his desires. Kellan L/N had made a speech recently to announce the decrease of crime in his district. Edward laughed so hard he almost knocked the glass of water off of his table next to him. Just as he was about to flip the channel, he noticed you. Standing in the back. Your bright eyes were focused on the senator. Edwards heart sank when he saw this. Such a beautiful girl fooled by the politics of Gotham. He had to know who you were. 

A quick internet reverse search brought up your digital profile. Ed was quick to dissect it. He wanted to throw up when he found out you were the daughter of Kellan L/N, third child of his. He didn’t know he had any other children than his sons. They were a bit older than you anyways. Edward had a small dislike for the L/N sons, your older brothers. He’s found douchey photos online of them partying on yachts with other women and expensive alcohol. How would their wives feel about that? All funded by their dad. He definitely also engaged in these activities. Pictures dating back thirty/forty years depicted your father cheating on your mother. 

Slamming his computer shut, he pulled out his phone. His notepad sat next to him as he scrolled through your instagram. 

24.9k followers. Impressive. 

Edward scrolled through your photos. He figured out your best friend was named Hazel. She was the daughter of a senator from another city. Not his problem, other places corruption. You had been friends with Hazel since about ninth grade, when you started posting on Instagram. 

You didn’t have many recent posts with your brothers. The age gap in the family must have simmered your relationships once you got older. You last posted a picture of you and one of your brothers in 2018 for a birthday post. He found old birthday posts of yours. The last one was around a year ago, you were due to turn twenty three about next week. He scoffed as he looked at the pictures from your birthday last year. Cabo trip, all funded by daddy. You were probably on a plane to go somewhere exotic for your next birthday already, he thought. 

What angered him the most was the party photos. You seemed to be close with Bruce Wayne. One of the men he hated the most. Bruce had no online presence minus the photos you would occasionally post of him. How has he never seen this before? 

Party in upstate with Bruce. 

Bruce Wayne at a party?

Picnic with Bruce. 

No way Bruce Wayne actually went on a picnic. Staged. 

Bruce’s banister is so beautiful, I couldn’t help myself. I needed a pic or two. 

She’s at his manor? 

Jealously filled Edward. Of course Bruce Wayne got the most perfect girl. He had everything he didn’t. 

He angrily flicked through the comments and was relieved when he saw the constant denial of a relationship between you two.

@hzljohnson so when is the wedding?

@y/nl/n in your dreams

Even her best friend wanted this to happen. 

-

@gthmnews13 Is this an official relationship confirming post? The fans are going crazy!

@y/nl/n Me and Bruce are only friends. 

An official news source? Can’t they leave her alone? 

Edward threw his phone to the floor. He was sick at looking at your picture perfect life. 

He knew something deeper was going on. 

On some of the sub chains he had been on recently, there was unrest. Something was about to be exclusively leaked about politicians in Gotham. Sure, everyone says that all the time. But Edward had a feeling this was big. It was a file that supposedly held career/life damaging documents for people, going all the way up to potentially the mayor. Edward giddied to himself, laying back on his couch and looking at the newspaper clippings he had pasted on his ceilings. The feeling of excitement rose. This next few weeks were going to be great. 

***

Your father knew. The pictures she threatened to leak would come out eventually. It was just a matter of when. He was smitten when he met her at the Iceberg Lounge. She was just a little older than his own daughter. He, and many other politicians, only knew her as Kat. He figured she just wanted a taste of the expensive life, and this was the only way she knew how. She certainly had the facilities to be in her position. Kat began almost exclusively spending her time with him. He payed the best. After a few months of this, she demanded a large sum of money. When he denied it, she dropped the bombshell. She was pregnant. 

Your father was almost certain the child wasn’t his, and brushed her off. He offered to pay for her abortion, but this just made her angrier. It wasn’t until she came back with a subpoenaed paternity test is when he knew she told. Told who, he wasn’t sure. A lawyer, judge, who knows. 

And it came back that he was in fact the father of her unborn child. 

He shut out Kat, getting her banished from the Lounge. Denying her any more money, she promised to leak the photos of them together. Pictures at the lounge, at dinner, in bed, the paternity test. Everything she had documented throughout their affair. 

Your father promised then to make small payments for her and the child, but she was more interested in the pay from the newspaper’s that they would give for these pictures. 

That was four months ago. No word from Kat, no news from the media. 

He sat in his office thinking about the past events when you burst through the doors. “Y/N!” he announced, standing up to give you a hug. “Hi dad,” you smiled, sitting across from him. “What is the reason for the visit? How is the apartment treating you?” he asked, cracking his knuckles. “It’s nice. It’s all really nice,” you said. “I was wondering if I could borrow some money for my birthday.” 

You always said borrow to make yourself feel better. You never payed him back. But what was he for then? A dad who never payed much attention in your life. He had to compensate that somehow. 

“Where is it this year? London?” he asked. “I-I was thinking something more lowkey. A night out in Gotham.”

Your father sighed. “I don’t think that would be such a good idea.” 

“Why?” you asked, crossing your arms. “With all these Riddler attacks…” “Dad, trust me. I can handle myself.” you scoffed. “Y/N, sweetheart. He is strapping bombs to people. People who I worked closely with.” he sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Yeah, people you work with. I don’t work with you.” you said, pursed lips. 

A moment of silence lingered between you two.

“I guess,” he sighed. You squealed and hugged him, thanking him. “I’ll wire you the cash!” he yelled after you as you were leaving his office. 

***

Edward sat at the counter, doodling away at his drawing. He was copying the cheap print on the diner wall, adding his own details. Making it more his style. He was too interested in his artwork and his coffee to notice you walk in. 

You would have never usually chose this spot. The nearest Starbucks was closed for the night, and you were craving caffeine. You had to write a speech for the Animal Shelter you had been volunteering for. You donated a large sum of money to the place. And tonight was the night you were going to write your speech.

“Can I have a large black coffee?” you asked the waitress. “That all?” she asked. “Um, a slice of pumpkin pie too.” 

Edward perked up and looked over, realizing this stranger had just ordered his exact order. 

And the stranger was you. 

His heart skipped a beat. He set down his coffee a little too hard, causing a bit to spill on his artwork. You looked over at him.

Edward swore to himself internally, knowing he completely fucked up. 

He looked back up at you, and you gave him a slight smile. You looked down at the picture he was drawing, now covered in droplets of coffee. 

“S-same order I get,” he managed to spit out. An explanation. “Is it any good?” you asked him, leaning your hip against the counter waiting for your order. “Is what?” he asked, intimidated by your beautiful presence. “The food?” you smirked, cocking your head. “O-oh, yeah. It’s great here.” he said, letting out a small smile. The waitress set your food down on the counter space next to him. 

You never usually spoke to strangers like this, but this man seemed kind. You were in a need for good company anyways. Everyone around you always seemed fake. Hazel, your brothers, your father, Bruce. All monetary based relationships. You craved something natural. Something real. 

You took the first bite of pie and shook your head. “This is amazing,” you said astonished. “Best pie in all of Gotham,” Edward said. “You, sir, might be right about that.” you smiled, wiping the corner of your mouth with the napkin. 

“Y/N,” you introduced yourself. “Edward,” 

Ed never was this social. The last time he spoke to anyone in this depth was a co worker, probably years ago. It just broke his heart watching you, so perfect, about to be ruined by the corruptness of Gotham. Just another victim to the dirtiness of the city. 

The two of you went on conversing until closing time. You asked him about his drawing, if he did other drawings, what he was interested in. When you tried to solve some of his riddles, his heart fluttered. You liked the innocence in him. He didn’t know who you were (at least to your knowledge) and treated you like a normal person. It was hard to explain to him and still seem normal what you did with your life. Edward admired that you volunteered for a living. Giving to others who had none. If he would have had someone like you in the orphanage, his life would have gone a lot better. He just knew it.

When you two separated at the end of the night, you never expected to see him ever again. You cursed yourself on the subway home that you should have gotten his number. He was so innocently adorable, someone wholesome. You needed that in your life. Hazel would ridicule you for your ‘poor choice in a man’. Your brothers would bully the shit out of him at family functions. But you didn’t care. He was real. 

Edward knew he would see you again. He would make sure of it. You were the one thing in Gotham that wasn’t bad. You sparkled in a city of grime. 

He thanked whatever god was looking down on him. He was granted the experience of meeting you, out of the thousands of people in Gotham. You. 

***

Edward tracked your almost every move. He sat in his discreet car across the street of your apartment. He found the new purchase documents online. He had to unscript some of the documents, but found your address easily. He would see you get chauffeured to your volunteer sites. This week you went to the animal shelter, along with a homeless shelter. He admired that about you. You would get home at around four/five pm, which gave you time to get ready for the night activity. Every night you would either have friends over, leave to go to the diner (which you secretly did in hopes of seeing Edward again. He didn’t know this was the reason.), have dinner with your mother, or have a night in for yourself. Lights out at about ten, and you would wake up at seven. Your whole routine down to a point. 

He would stand in the corner of a store on the street. He knew you walked this way everyday to reach the volunteer center. And today, the same god smiled down at him because he was given this bit of information. 

“Hazel, the Fort Adolphus venue is fine. Yes. It’ll be fun, I promise. Yeah, I think seven is a good time…”

Edward froze when he heard this. Your birthday, he assumed. It was two days away. And Fort Adolphus was one of the most prestigious venues in Gotham. Only a senator would be lucky enough to book it. And give it to his daughter to use for her birthday party. 

***

Edward arrived at the venue at four pm. He quickly seeked out one of the party coordinators. Distracting him, he took him into a back closet and tazed him. Stole his clothes, and locked him in. He would be out for a few hours, the taser was powerful. 

And with that, he did what he did best. Blend in. 

You arrived at 6:30. You wore a black minidress, with a sheer torso. You had gold chains as straps. The fabric was bunched up to give a ripple affect. Your hair was curled, and makeup was on perfectly. Edward noticed you when he heard your black heels click on the marble floors. You looked like a goddess. 

“Welcome to the Fort Adolphus venue Miss L/N, let me find a coordinator to help you get settled,” the woman at the door said. She noticed Edward standing around and doing nothing and called for him.

He had just made fate happen. 

“You! Sir!” she called out to Edward. That is when your eyes met again. Your eyes lit up, giving him a smile. “Ed?” you asked, joining his presence. “Funny seeing you,” he chuckled, pushing his clipboard against his waist. “He can escort you to your private back room.” the woman at the door said. “Right,” Edward confirmed, playing along with his role. 

“I didn’t know you were a party coordinator,” you said, watching your team pile out of your car. Hair, makeup, wardrobe on standby. “I’m not,” he said, realizing he made a mistake. “Uh, one night only. Temporary gig,” he managed to get out before raising suspicion. The two of you got to a room labeled ‘Back Room A’. He hoped it was the one for you, and to his luck it was. Gifts laid across a wide table in the middle of the room. Expensive alcohol and food was on the opposite wall. A large couch and a vanity also sat in the room. “There you are,” he said awkwardly, opening the door. “Will I see you tonight?” you asked him as he was about to shut the door. “Um…” Edward thought. “No, I’m only pre-party crew.” he lied. Definitely wasn’t going to stick around. He wasn’t a party person anyways.

He was expecting you to close the door after that, but you didn’t. You got out your phone. “I meant to do this at the diner, but do you have a phone number? Well, of course you have a phone number, I’m just asking if-” “Yeah sure, um…” he said, interrupting you. 

Y/N L/N just asked for his phone number. Oh my god. And she was nervous about it!

After you exchanged them, he began to slowly close your door to give you some privacy. You grabbed his hand on the door knob, and looked directly in his eyes. 

“Ed?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Y-your welcome. May I ask for what?” he stuttered. 

“Being real.”

Part 2

-

tag list: @beenz-beenz @nikonluvsdano @fikism @liveforkarljacobs @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0

[monstrouslyobsessed]

—blur the lines (between fiction and reality)

 I heard you're open for 5 headcanon requests on your post, can you do a headcanon about a yandere story that involves around Vincent Valentine falling in love with the female reader from the real world and trying to get out of dirge of cerberus and into the real world —anonymous

tw / tags: sfw, gn reader, death mentions (aerith’s), obsessive thoughts, general yandere themes featured character(s): final fantasy 7′s vincent valentine, minor appearances of yuffie, cloud, and marlene minors dni.

—note: hm took some thinking for this one until i saw a series done by @/writingforatwistedworld about self-aware au’s and decided it just might work for the old boi in red. that said, this is super tame, so don’t come in expecting any spice. vincents too sweet anyway (unless he merged with chaos, thats a whole diff story lol).

》after what must have been several hundredth reset, vincent soon figured out that he was living a scripted life. —tragically, only he realized it. —or perhaps his friends and allies were living in denial. —which is probably a bliss to have.

》often, the world would alternate between several different...atmospheres. one where everything begins with a certain blond mercenary (og ff7) and one that focuses on the aftermath (the film, advent children), and there was one where he plays the major role in (DoC). —there were several more, but they were fairly rarer than the rest that he could barely remember as he hardly played a role in these. —all were painfully distinct.

》vincent was realistic at the worst of times, at least toward himself. —it became easier to disconnect himself from his emotions —and from others too. —whenever one passes from a grueling battle or something had gone terribly wrong, time would reset and correct everything to the script only the creator could read.

under the cut due to the length!

》he no longer felt any drop of sorrow for aerith’s deaths —she always came back with the hard reset from the beginning. —he lost feelings for the woman who birthed sephiroth. —it was hard realizing that the woman you loved was all but responsible for everything, choosing the coward’s path and not staying and fighting harder to ensure that her own son would have a decent childhood. —after what must’ve been 100+ resets, he started hating her too. —wishing that he never tried to help her and to leave things be.

》perhaps vincent would’ve lived a normal life —...sans being a hitman thing for the notorious company he was employed to, perhaps. —but he wouldn’t have to live with too many voices in his head, clamoring for deaths and bloodshed. —testing his sanity. —if he hadn't fallen in love with that pitiful woman and became that fucking bastard of a doctor’s test subject, he might’ve been a married man and have children of his own years later down the road. —an ordinary dream, but it was his dream. the dream that he knew he couldn’t attain, not by normal means.

》he had one normalcy though, that remained consistent throughout the resets. —you. —sometimes, he’d see your face —or, rather, your ghost. —it was hard to describe, but you were always looking on, being a specter and usually having some kind of odd looking device in your hands (console controller of your choice). —you usually sit either on your bed or a lounging chair (or so he thinks, he could only tell by your position).

》he couldn’t make out most of the details —you were semi-transparent, nothing more than a faint outline. —but vincent knew you were there. —watching him. watching everyone.

》initially, some odd resets ago upon his enlightenment of becoming self-aware, your presence disturbed him —now, your constant presence comforts him. —it helps that unlike him and the others, you were always looking a little different each reset. —that you weren’t following any script but your own. —you broke monotony of living the exact same script every reset. —is it really so far-fetched that he’d grow obsessed with you?

》he paid attention to every little detail. —in the beginning, you were hard to make out but after so many resets and his growing fixation with you, you were practically in front of him. —that you were right there, as tangible as he is. —you were within in his reach, yet when he pretended to close in to pick up an object, he swept his golden claw swept through your body and it phrased though, he cannot touch you. —he cannot hold you. —yet. 》vincent started listening too. —you were all silence to his ears, even though he saw your lips moving. —now he knew your name, your every word —your habits. —you mutter sometimes, usually complaints but also critiques. —it was through you he realized he was a fictional character in some sort of video game series.

》it was a bit of blow, because vincent always felt alive. —but the resets made sense. —how often had you played his game(s)? —...had you ever seen him as a real person?

》he always wondered. 》vincent wished he could touch you, that he could hold you in his arms. —but that was a hopeless dream, wasn’t it? —especially when he was nothing but a finite series of codes and  numbers. —all of his dreams were hopeless.

》but something changed. —he saw you sobbing, barely touching your controller. —and he couldn’t move an inch from where he was. —you controlled his movements after all.

》why did you weep so? —fire consumed his heart and his skin blackened from the rising influence of chaos inside him. —who hurt you? —vincent never realized he moved against his codes, closing in to your balled position.

》his hand still phrased through you though and a stark frown formed on his pale lips. —all the characters he was surrounded by, hardly responded to his strange behavior though, stuck in the loop of their static animations. —one or two remarked on his off-ness though, yuffie in particular, but did nothing to stop him when he reached out for something invisible. —“huh, is something there, vinny?” he heard yuffie asking.

》"it’s nothing.” vincent recalled saying, shaking his head, but he was still staring at you. —those were unfamiliar words in his usual dull script, vincent later realized, when you rose your head confused. —you yelled out in shock, scrambling backward from how vincent took up the majority of your tv screen, boring holes in your face (it feels like). you never moved him? —the video game had to be glitched.

》or maybe you moved the thumbstick on your controller without realizing. —deciding to blame the foreign lines upon unknown triggers you never found until now, you took in a shuddering sigh. —wiping away the tears from your eyes, you resumed your playing, ignoring the text messages on your phone where it broke news that you didn’t need. —you needed some distractions.

》for a moment, vincent refused to move and you rose your brows in bafflement. — “is this thing on?” you smacked on your controller. —his staring was kinda creeping you out. —he (probably) wasn’t your most favorite character in the ff7 series, but you’ve found him a very compelling character. sure, the plot in vincent’s game was shite but its gameplay was, while not groundbreaking, great for its time. —you played his game often, as a good stress reliever. it helps that vincent was an eyecandy for the main character in shooting game too. —you played so much of his game that you knew every line and action by heart, so the way vincent was staring at you was...a little scary.

》had his animations ever looked so...realistic before? —before you could dwell on it further, the game unglitched itself and the character in red followed your movement inputs albeit with a good delay. —o...kay, that was weird. —the game was old though so you shrugged and paid the weirdness no more mind.

》but...since then, things started getting a little...weirder. 》vincent would turn his head to you often, or the camera anyway, and stare. —there were a lot of input lags too, though he never got injured by enemies somehow. —and sometimes he...did things on his own without your commands too. —casting fireballs when you meant him to aim and shoot his iconic three barreled gun. —granted, that was a far better decision than yours because of the explosives nearby and took all the surrounding enemies (you...forgot those barrels were there in the first place, truth be told).

》and lately... — “huh?” you blinked at the subtitles on the screen. “are those new voicelines?” —you remembered no character saying anything new. —it was only vincent who started saying unfamilair lines. —“enemies overhead.” “you missed several items 7 yards behind me.” “the turret!” “watch out, enemies incoming from the right” —“i trust you.” —why is the video game character talking to YOU?

》o...kay, maybe you should play another game. —or get a new console. —the cd hadn’t had a single scratch on it though. —you decided you were still in the mood for ff7 and resumed a savefile for the original ff7 game.

》but...even the weirdness persisted through there too. —in battles, he always turns his head to follow you/camera awaiting for your inputs. —when you tried to swap him out to another character, the option turned grey and vincent straight up refused to be removed. —and hell, you even had to play as vincent instead of cloud of all things. —did you trigger something somehow that enabled vincent being playable?

》 “what the fuck is going on with vincent?” you said aloud, baffled by yet another brand new scene with vincent you knew never occurred in the game nor was it even coded in. —you should know, you’ve enjoyed far too many playthroughs, a bunch of videos on the game hacking investigations (the discovery on aerith being initially planned to be alive to the end was startling), and played a bunch from the beginning to the end yourself. —for whatever reason, vincent confronted hojo by...himself. —no cloud, no tifa, no barret, no character but vincent and hojo. —....he shot him pointblank in his forehead.

》what the fuck? —this was well before hojo’s boss battle of all things too! —vincent’s blocky model turned up to you (seemingly) and his dialogue popped up in the nostalgic blue rectangular. “nothing’s wrong with me, —.” —you yelled, tossed up your controller, and ran.

》it could be an elaborate prank set up by those you’re close to. —but all of them were wise not to tamper with your games in any shape or form. —nor do they have any skillset to mess with the codes of either games with vincent in it. —plus, it was all too timely, and you knew you never input your real life name in the game. ever. you kept true to the characters original names in every playthrough in the classic game.

》how did vincent know your name?

》it took you a while to return to the room, sneaking over to shut off your console you earlier abandoned. —you glanced to the screen and blinked at the scene of vincent resting against a bookcase, seemingly sleeping. —...you don’t really remember him even having any idle animation in the old game, or that he’s even playable at all outside the rpg battlefields. —weirded out, you shut off the console and decided you needed a break from playing ff7 games for a while.

》it was some months ago when the oddnesses with vincent’s character in both games happened. —after playing other games, you decided you were probably going a little loopy after having a bad day while playing the ff7 games. —still, you weren’t in a mood to play either games, but you missed ff7 anyway. —you thought rewatching the film, advent children, was a grand idea.

》the plot wasn’t the best, but you loved the animation and all the tiny details the animators and artists implemented. —you lost yourself in the film, not batting an eye when vincent first showed up in the intro marlene narrated or how he glanced up his gaze to you little funny. —though it had been a long while since you’ve played this flim so you didn’t think about that unfamiliar detail. —it was when the next scene of where marlene confronted cloud with vincent that things got...weird again.

》“been a while, — .” his red eyes slanted to you, ignoring cloud and marlene’s confused looks. —okay, yep, something is haunting your ff7 collections. —you were given no time to run though, not this time, when vincent reached to your screen. —you squawked out a cry when something distorted outside your large screen. a golden claw grappled on the black frame of your television and then...

》he came out like sadako from the ring series, only —he was reaching out for you.

》before you knew it, you were tightly in his arms, his armored claw uncomfortably jabbing your back. —vincent nosed in your hair and inhaled. saying nothing at all as both of you kneeled on the floor. —you trembled in his embrace, confused. shocked. —did a fictional character literally just...came alive in front of your own eyes?

》 “finally,” vincent sighed, combing through your hair, “i have you in my arms.” —perhaps, this time, his dreams finally came true.

—end

[suavis]

Never interacting with ST tumblr ever again. Went to the tag after Vol 2 expecting to see posts about the episodes/s5 set up, instead I got

Death threats to Duffer Bros for not making by//er canon

People who don’t support by//er are homophobic

Horrible hate to Mileven fans

Duffer Bros are homophobic for killing Eddie bc “Eddie is gay & they killed him bc they didn’t like Stedd¡e”

We’re sick & tired of El, she shouldn’t be focused on in s5, instead Will & Mike

Mike’s speech to El is out of character, he doesn’t love her

El is boring & her abuse for her entire life isn’t comparable to Will, his unrequited love for Mike is worse than her torture

Mike should’ve died instead of Eddie & he’s homophobic to Will, Mike is the worst person in the show

I’m also not interacting with ST tumblr again bc of the white mlm fetishizers. Billy was clearly racist to Lucas & abusive to Max (I understand he was abused but that doesn’t excuse his racism and horrid treatment of Max) but yet Steve & Billy is a popular ship. If Lucas was white, we’d see more Lucas/Dustin. But we don’t. Women are also always pushed to the side for mlm ships, so many posts diminish El for by//er

LITERALLY you’ve encompassed everything i hate abt the fandom 💀 it’s never really surprising when fandoms only care abt bland white men they can hc as gay/bi and then fetishize but truly the attempted character assassination of multiple whole ass children bc they don’t play into their specific narratives they want is extra foul.

i thought st*ddie was cute in passing at first but then the fans and esp eddie fans started acting Like That and i was outta there 💀 ain’t no way they thought it was going to end any other way have the ever watched this show before??? like he was fun but ultimately he was just some guy that some ppl in this fandom care more abt than MAX who’s been around for three seasons now like make it make sense???? and same with billy stans they just choose to ignore full on racism like i saw one say they did believe he was racist but still liked him 💔 truly no saving them the way y’all will cape for random white men even if they’re racist and abusive…… ur not seeing heaven

and YES the way this fandom passes over the black characters (the very few that exist 🥴) is sooooo…. obvious truly. billy apologists are obviously the worst of em but. if will had been in love with lucas and he’d been acting like mike first of all there wouldn’t even be a quarter as many shipper and second lucas would have been eviscerated 💔 people’s priorities in this fandom could not be clearer tbh

and people’s hatred of eleven is so transparent 💀 if she wasn’t in the way of that certain ship nobody would give a fuck but instead they’ll say she’s just his beard, she’s aroace/lesbian (which obvi i support hcs like this wholeheartedly but when the ONLY purpose is to try to make it so she couldn’t possibly be attracted to mike and so now will can have him???? gtfo), she looks like a man (which is mentioned MULTIPLE times in the b*ler slideshow LMAO make it make sense….. i’m a woman with short hair does that make my gf straight???), etc.

also yeah their fixation specifically earlier on the fact that mike couldn’t say i love you to her and then when he finally did it was out of character/him projecting his feelings for will on her??? it’s disrespectful to the characters tbh like the way they characterize mike idek how they like him anymore considering how they seem to believe he’s manipulating eleven AND being an asshole to will while still being in love with him??? i have truly never seen a fandom so deluded over next to zero actual evidence but i wasn’t around in the days of tjlc so 💀 but i’m definitely seeing some similarities LMAO it’s bad like. i think EVERYONE can agree that will is into mike but b*lers seem to think that means mike is going to have to be into will too like. ik they’re still hung up on their middle school/high school straight best friends (or are still IN middle/high school with that straight best friend 💀) and want to think that he’ll get the happy ending they didn’t but. truly i do think will deserves better than this even if mike DOES return his feelings like. they would not be a good couple 💔 here’s to hoping will gets a bf in s5 and all the characters get to be happy for once and b*let fans finally shut up <3

[slasherhaven]

Any headcanons for being childhood friends with any of the slashers? (preferably the Sinclair brothers but any are fine)

These got so long, I’m so sorry! 😂 But please enjoy!

Thomas, Michael, Jason, Brahms, and the Sinclair Brothers

Being Childhood friends and reuniting:

Thomas Hewitt

You went to school with Thomas and it was easy to see that you were the only friend he had.

Kids can be cruel, especially when they see someone as an easy target. Thomas was a quiet, insecure kid and they picked on him for that. His scars were the main thing they bullied him about.

You couldn’t remember how many times he cried to you, until he eventually stopped crying. Then he would just deal with it, keep his head down and take it. You knew it still bothered him, so you still comforted him, he didn’t even need to ask you to do so.

Beside his family, you were the only person he had. 

You knew each other into your teen years and he adored you. He loved you, whether those feelings were platonic or not.

Luda May loved as well, since you spent most of your time at the Hewitt residence visiting Tommy. She was glad that he had a friend.

But when everyone started leaving town, your family thought it was time to move as well. You can remember running to the Hewitt residence the night before you left to say goodbye to Tommy, you had both cried before you had to leave him.

A few years passed. You became an adult and moved away from your parents. You had heard them talking though, about how there Hewitts apparently never left town, about how they insisted on staying. Everyone thought they were crazy for it and while you loved the family you couldn’t help but agree. There was nothing in town for them anymore, how where they even getting by?

But you decided to pay them a visit. You still thought about Thomas and the family a lot, so you wanted to check in on them. Now that you weren’t living with your family.

You walked up to the familiar house and knocked on the door. Luda May was the one who opened it and she instantly recognised you, smiling brightly and inviting you inside for a cup of tea.

The two of you sat in the kitchen, catching up, until she came to her senses and pointed out that you were probably here for Tommy. So, she called him down.

When he stepped into the kitchen, he just stared at you. He couldn’t believe you were hear after all that time passed. He thought for sure you would have moved far away and forgotten about him.

He had always been taller than most people but now that he was an adult he was even taller, and broader, but you still recognised him as Tommy.

Luda May smiled at you both and told you that she would give you some privacy before leaving the kitchen.

“Hey, Tommy” you greeted him with the kind smile that he still remembered, even after all this time. “I heard your family never left town, so...I came to see you” you explained your presence.

Once he was sure that this really was you and that you were still looking at him the same way you used too, Thomas crossed the kitchen and pulled you into a hug. You smiled into his chest and you returned the embrace.

“I missed you too, Tommy” you confessed.

You couldn’t imagine the people who remained in the town after you left became any kinder, you couldn’t imagine how Tommy felt. Dealing with their ridicule and not having his one friend to turn too.

But you were here now and that’s all that mattered, you are here for as long as he needed you to be.

Michael Myers 

CLICK HERE for Michael’s post.

Jason Voorhees

You had been Jason’s only friend at camp, sweet, kind, and caring. You would defend him against the bullies, wipe his tears when he cried, and hugged him to comfort him. You had even met Mrs Voorhees once and she loved you, you were the only person who was sincerely kind to her son.

But then the ‘accident’ happened and you never saw Jason, your best friend, again. The camp closed down so you never returned, not until years later.

You were an adult now, flipping through an old photo album, smiling at an image of you and Jason as children. You had never forgotten about the boy, how could you? 

And of course you had heard the rumours of him having come back to haunt the camp, and it pissed you off that people would use your best friend’s death as a scary story.

It was then that you decided to take a trip up to the camp. Parking your car and walking into the old abandoned camp, memories of your summers here coming flooding back.

Jason had heard the car and expected a group of teenagers that he would have to deal with, but instead he saw one person with flowers in their hand.

You walked along the dock that the accident happened on and sighed, placing the flowers down at the end. There was no memorial for him but you thought the poor boy deserved some flowers.

Jason watched from the safety of the trees, watching you place down the flowers and pay your respect to...him. When you turned around he got a better look at your face. It took him a minute but he could finally place your face, how could he forget you? You were older now but he could recognise your face.

You had decided to explore the old camp, thinking back with a sad nostalgia. Jason watched you the whole time, no intention of hurting you, you had been the only one who cared for him. He was more considering whether he should approach you or not. He decided against it, not wanting to scare you.

Eventually you left, saddening Jason, but your visits became a regular thing. You’d bring flowers to put at the end of the dock for Jason, even though you noticed that the last bouquet you left was gone by your next visit.

This time, you had sat down at the end of the dock, looking out into the water, and you spoke. You apologised for not having been there, for not being able to help him all those years ago, told the still water that you missed him.

He had missed you too and maybe that’s why Jason found himself walking towards you, standing still at the start of the dock, waiting for you to turn and notice him. 

Finally, you did, gasping at the sight of his large masked figure. You panicked at first before piecing the rumours together, could this really be Jason or where you letting stories get to your head.

“J-Jason?” you took your chances and he nodded, confirming your theory. “You’re...I...but, how?” he didn’t respond, of course, he just stood still and tense. “The rumours...the stories...they’re all true, aren’t they?” he hesitates but nods. That’s when your gaze fully focuses on the machete in his hand. All the stories were true...

Noticing your focus on his weapon, he dropped it to the floor. He wanted to show that he wasn’t going to hurt you, he remembered you.

Jason was alive...kind of? Well, he was standing in front of you and you could only feel happy about it.

He completely froze when you ran up to him and threw your arms around him, telling him that you missed him and that you were glad he was alright. He expected you to be afraid but all you could focus on was your childhood friend being right in front of you, and having been alone all this time. 

He cautiously wrapped his arms around your body and relaxed. You were exactly how he remembered you. Still sweet, kind, and caring. Now that you knew he was here, your visits were about to becoming much more regular.

Brahms Heelshire 

CLICK HERE for Brahms’ post.

Bo Sinclair

You had lived in the little town of Ambrose and been about the same age as Bo. It wasn’t a large town so there weren’t many kids your age, you thought Bo was lucky to have a twin, until you realised just how different they were.

Bo was a difficult child, no doubt about it, he clearly had a lot of trouble controlling his anger, but you never let it bother you. You always pushed past it, showed him that he couldn’t push you around, and eventually befriended him, even if he wouldn’t admit you were friends.

He left the house more than his twin brother, in fact he seemed to prefer being away from the house. So he ended up spending a lot of time with you.

You eventually found out why he liked being away from his house, learning how his parents treated him when you accidently saw the scars that wrapped around his wrists. He told you everything then, with a brave face, he didn’t let one tear fall even though you partly wished he did.

He was an angry and angsty kid, but it never bothered you. You’d still smile and laugh. He was a bad influence, having you sneak out at night to meet him. But you were the light at the end of a shitty day for Bo.

Then he left town, him and his brothers just left one day and you didn’t see them again. It broke your heart, even if Bo was difficult he was your best friend and now he was gone.

Eventually you moved away from the little town, hoping for something bigger and better, but something just kept tugging at the back of your mind. You felt like you had left something there.

Years passed but eventually you decided to head back, just for a trip, nostalgia and all that, and to hopefully get rid of that nagging feeling.

You were so close to the little town when your car broke down. Luckily, a man had been driving by and offered you a lift. He asked if he knew you, recognising your face, but you told him that you didn’t think so. You didn’t recognise him. But you told him that you grew up in the town and where just visiting, that’s when he knew he had to mention that to Bo.

He took you into town and dropped you off at the garage before leaving. When you headed inside, nobody was there.

When Bo heard about the new visitor being somebody who grew up in Ambrose from Lester, he didn’t think too much about it. It was strange, sure, but in the end it didn’t really matter.

It didn’t matter until he wandered down to the garage and saw you, nearly instantly recognising you. He hated that he remembered you, that you had enough of an impact on him to be worth remembering him. Something told him that you might remember him as well, and you definitely would when he gave you his name. He probably caused enough trouble as a kid to be worth remembering. 

“Well, what brings you back to Ambrose?” Bo asked, his voice making you turn around, a little startled.

“I...Bo?” recognition of the man in front of you interrupted your explanation.  

“Thought you actually got out of this place” he seemed unfazed by you being here but you knew him better than that. He always acted less bothered than he was, unless he was angry, then it was the complete opposite. 

“I did...kind of. I left but something just had me coming back” you shrugged. 

“Miss me that much?” Bo asked with a smirk. It was good to see that his arrogance didn’t disappear during his time out of town. 

“In your dreams” you joked, too happy to see him to even try to keep your smile off of your face. “When did you even get back to Ambrose?” you asked. 

“A while ago. I mean, it’s ‘home’, right?” he scoffed a little. He had never been a huge fan of the little town. 

“How are your brothers? Are they here too?” you asked.

“Sure. Vincent is up at the house. Lester drove you here” Bo nodded. 

“Oh God, that was Lester? I didn’t even recognise him!” your eyes widened. 

“‘course you didn’t, he was a kid when we left” Bo chuckled, shaking his head at you. 

“Why didn’t you let me know you were back in town?” you asked. You didn’t think he would ever come back to the little town, you thought he’d want to get away from it. 

“You weren’t that important” he shrugged. 

“Oh please, you recognised me as soon as you walked in here. You missed me too” you scoffed, reminding him that you knew him better than that.

“...welcome home, Y/n” a genuine smile grew on Bo’s face, making you smile as well.

Of course it wouldn’t be long before you discovered the town’s little secret and then there was no way that they could let you leave...it gave Bo the perfect excuse to keep you around.

But for now, you could just reunite with old friends.

Vincent Sinclair 

You had lived in the little town of Ambrose and been about the same age as Vincent. It wasn’t a large town so there weren’t many kids your age, you thought Vincent was lucky to have a twin, until you realised just how different they were.

Vincent was the quieter twin, the one who was left with severe facial scars that he was incredibly insecure about, Bo was louder, more abrasive and that’s what kept you away from him. 

Any other kids weren’t too kind to Vincent, but you were and that’s when you both grew so close. He adored you for your kindness. 

You’d hang out in the Wax Museum or around the back of it, anywhere private where it could just be the two of you.

You never judged him, you were never cruel. You would comfort him when he was upset, make him laugh and smile. He had even let you see his face from time to time. You never reacted poorly, you always smiled, you even told him he was handsome. He adored you.

But then he had to leave...and he didn’t think he would ever see you again, and neither did you. After that, he became even more quiet and secluded.

Eventually you moved away from the little town, hoping for something bigger and better, but something just kept tugging at the back of your mind. You felt like you had left something there.

Years passed but eventually you decided to head back, just for a trip, nostalgia and all that, and to hopefully get rid of that nagging feeling.

You drove into town, getting an eerie feeling from how quiet and empty it seemed. Maybe a lot of people had moved away...

When you couldn’t find anyone, you headed for the Wax Museum. You and Vincent would hang out there a lot as kids, since his parents owned it and he didn’t like being out in public too much.

You explored the familiar building curiously. It was dusty but not as unkept as it should have been. Somebody had been here. Maybe not everyone had left the town?

Vincent had seen you as soon as you entered the building, and watched you wander around. He noticed how the family pictures made you smile, how you admired the art work, but what he noticed the most was how familiar you looked.

You smiled some more as you picked up one of the pictures, the one of three young brothers. That’s when it hit him. He knew you, he remembered you, and it seemed that you remembered him as well.

You continued to explore before turning to the doorway, gasping at the large figure standing there. 

It didn’t take you long to recognise him. He was a lot taller than the kid you knew and he had let his hair grow even longer, but the mask was a dead give away.

“Vincent?” you asked gently, a smile forming on your face when he nodded. “Uh...do you remember me?” he nodded instantly, making you smile some more.

Vincent appeared to be just as cautious as he was all those years ago, walking further into the room.

You met him half way, giggling to yourself about how tall he had gotten. “Y’know I came here because I missed you? Thought it’d be fun to revisit some old memories but...this is much better” you told him.

His head tilted to the side curiously, like he was asking if you were being honest.

“I mean it, Vinny. I missed you” you assured him, placing a hand on his arm.

Just like that, Vincent wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into an almost desperate embrace. You smiled and instantly returned his hug, needing it just as much as he did.

Vincent never thought he’d see you again, his only friend, but he missed you and was glad to have you back. He still adored you and hoped you would stay, he couldn’t lose you again. He was just terrified of what you would think when you found out the truth about this town.

Lester Sinclair 

You had lived in the little town of Ambrose and been about the same age as Lester. It wasn’t a large town so there weren’t many kids your age, so you and Lester became very close friends.

At home, Lester got the least attention out of his brothers. Bo was a handful and Vincent seemed to by their mother’s favourite child, so they got most of the attention. He didn’t mind that much but he did like that he got all of your attention when it was just the two of you. You made him feel important and you both got along incredibly well.

The two of you would hang out all the time, often getting told off for running around too far in the woods.

And then, the brothers had to leave town, breaking both of your hearts. Neither of you thought you’d see each other again.

Eventually you moved away from the little town, hoping for something bigger and better, but something just kept tugging at the back of your mind. You felt like you had left something there.

Years passed but eventually you decided to head back, just for a trip, nostalgia and all that, and to hopefully get rid of that nagging feeling. 

You were so close to the little town when your car broke down. Luckily, it wasn’t a long before a truck appeared driving up the road, pulling over when the driver saw you struggling with your car.

Something about the man seemed familiar when he hopped out of his truck but you couldn’t place it.

“Need some help?” the man asked with a smile. He was dirty and something about him seemed a little odd but he didn’t make you uncomfortable and he seemed friendly enough. 

“Uh...yeah, if you don’t mind. It just stopped and I don’t know that much about cars” you sighed, glaring the car down as if it personally wronged you. 

“I can take you into town, to the garage” he offered. 

“That would be great” you accepted the offer with small smile. 

“What brings you out here anyway?” he asked as you grabbed a bag from your car, slamming the door shut.  

“I was actually heading into Ambrose. I grew up here. Something just pulled be back, I guess” you told him as you walked towards the truck. 

“...Y/n?” the man asked your name, surprise evident in his voice. 

You turned back to the man, wondering how he knew your name, but then it hit you. “...Lester?” you asked, putting a bright smile on his face as he nodded. “Oh my God, I thought you left town!” you threw your bag into the truck and quickly ran over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him.

Lester instantly returned your hug, holding you close. He had missed you so much. 

“We came back a while ago. Saw you moved away” Lester explained as you pulled away from the embrace, your hands resting on his shoulders and his on your waist.

“We? Your brothers?” you asked, eyes widening slightly.

“Yeah, they’re in town. Bo runs the garage actually” he told you. “Are you staying for a while?” he asked, seriously hoping you’d say yes.

“I was planning on staying a few days but now I have to stay longer” you smiled brightly. You didn’t plan on leaving him again so soon.

“C’mon, I’ll take you to the house and get Bo to look at your car” Lester offered before releasing you and heading around the truck to climb inside.

“Hey, Lester?” you stopped him by grabbing his arm, making him turn back to you. “I missed you” you told him.

“I missed you too” Lester smiled at you, glad to hear he wasn’t the only one.

The two of you climbed into the truck and headed towards Ambrose, ready to see his brothers again. Lester worried about you discovering what they were up to in the town, he just wanted to be able to spend some time with you again.