#have fun guessing peeps

[bluestrawberrybunny]

I absolutely love every possible dynamic between these two. You’ve got partners in crime, Jessie and James/Team Rocket, and then you have this. I love them. Puzzle3/Puzzl3 is an absolutely amazing ship and I love their possible dynamics. Both platonic and romantic.

They should so be besties tho let’s be honest.

However, we can all agree on one thing: these two should never team up in canon because if they did they’d be unstoppable.

[asilosmagdalena]

Falling back on my tried and true method of binging Peep Show as a coping mechanism to ward off the crushing despair I am experiencing in real life by dissociating and watching crushing despair play out on fictional characters in television but I've actually started to cultivate somewhat of a social life and am getting peer pressured into going to a bar and having fun and being alive and enjoying myself but no matter how hard I try to larp as a normal functioning human being I will always be Mark Corrigan. I can just momentarily pretend otherwise. I can repress my repression

[averlym]

,,, little lemmings in line...

[sysig]

Blusters in, flusters out (Patreon)

[theirloveisgross]

eloise bridgerton is aromantic. in this essay i will-

[dollypopup]

I think it's real obvious that if you actually like Colin you don't belong in the Polin fandom. y'all are all so ableist about him and think the absolute worst of him and a huge number of the posts and fics are romanticizing Penelope straight up abusing him

we should make a new tag because this one is NOT it

[hellishfig]

my 23rd birthday was a couple days ago

and i have had so many conversations with friends and i've read so much about how getting older is not only okay, it's good

but a couple of friends came over very late the night before my birthday so they could be there at midnight and sing happy birthday to me (because they're the best and i love them)

and they did the "are you ONE, are you TWO, are you THREE" thing

all the way to 23

and they did it soooooooo slowly

and that kind of gave me an existential crisis? hearing the years get counted away? it took probably 30 seconds to a minute but it felt like forever, and all i could feel was the time passing

i keep thinking about being a kid and the joy and excitement that each birthday brings, how getting older is something to celebrate

i feel like 23 is the age (for me at least) where the joy of getting older begins to fade. i'm an adult now. i have worries and concerns about getting a job and what i want to do with my life, and it feels a lot more immediate

however, i still dressed up as a princess and had my friends come over and make powerpoints about things they're interested in so they could infodump to me

getting older doesn't mean giving up the things that make you happy

so here's a picture of me at 23 (face hidden for privacy) dressed as a princess to remind everyone (including me) that dress up doesn't have an age limit and neither does fun

happy birthday to me!

[pansy-out-of-the-wardrobe]

If you want to feel better about yourself just know that my partner said to me that I was one of the “leaders” of the Wattpad Classic Rock community back in 2016 and that everybody was reading my blogs (they are truly shit) … your guy here peaked on Wattpad………..

[reginrokkr]

Anonymous asked: In the past few days I saw more people open to share their ship preferences for their muses, but most of the tiers (more like all of them) don't include Dainsleif yet. So question for the mun! what do you look for in order to ship? and if it's easy for you to respond, who would you ship Dainsleif with?

I hope you know what you're in for, nonnie— as this is going to be a ride that may contain some salt.

What I look for first and foremost when it comes to shipping is plausibility. Yes, I'm aware that some muns may go like "oh, I like this character so I'd like to ship them with my muse and see if that works" and that's perfectly fine. I am no different in having these thoughts myself, but 95% of the times I ignore them for other reasons that will be stated later. Dain himself is a complicated muse with unique circumstances and background. If the likelihood of him not interacting with a great part of the cast in ways that it becomes meaningful and under normal circumstances is high, you can imagine how it must be the case of shipping.

Which leads me to the next point: because of Dain's complications it is hard to build something with strong foundations that won't crumble at the earliest scenario of him not providing what's expected in a healthy relationship. He has many ghosts of his past and the present time, a mission that was given by someone else or self-imposed that goes above everything —even himself, as he clearly states that doesn't relish his solitude in Shenhe's miscellany or that he knows about the heartache of the Adepti in Xiao's miscellany, which clearly belies the fact that he's ignoring things he would've preferred for himself for the sake of a grander scheme than himself—, a great trauma of the past that intertwines with self-hatred and guilt. He won't accept easily that someone in the know of all these things would still choose him. There is the Abyss that can warp his senses even if he's done a great job for the past centuries in remaining sane. There is a curse that goes with a chronic physical pain and even more ghosts to add in his mind that exist or the abyssal factors of the curse will ingrain in his mind. And there is the possibility that the Sinner is part of said ghosts in his mind, given that he might be the one who narrates Dain's introduction based on Chinese word choices to say who the author is.

In order for a ship to work with him, the other part has to be aware of all these things and even so be willing to stay by his side —more metaphorically-speaking than personally, because they'll be in for long periods of absence from Dain's part alone and most certainly that other person will have their own responsibilities too—. I love to ship romantically as the next person as much as it looks like I'm adding layers and layers of difficulty to do that, but I don't want to step over key aspects of what makes Dain who he is just for the sake of shipping at risk of making it incredibly shallow and without substance. Because one of the things that I look for in a ship is also development: for every muse in particular and in a personal way and together as a pair.

This is why I'm terribly iffy about ships that not only erase Dain's autonomy, but also ignore completely his own principles for the sake of shipping such as Dainsleif / Kaeya when the latter goes the Abyss road and in all this design Dain is just someone who is there without any word in anything other than to serve. Yes, he was a knight that served royalty in Khaenri'ah. But he isn't some mindless puppet who would throw away everything he worked for or the honor of others who he believes is being walked over unfairly like, guess what, the Abyss Order does. And something in a similar vein happens with the ship of either Lumine or Aether as the Abyss counterpart of the Traveler and Dain in a romantic ship, only that I've seen worse here to the point where they would do with him as they please and treat him unkindly while ignoring completely that he's not only an intelligent individual with vast knowledge, but also strong whose power is indirectly praised by someone of the likes of Skirk.

The last thing I look for in a ship (but not any less important) is communication. Extensive communication with the mun. For one I like to build ships from the very beginning and see how they evolve over the course of time and events our muses are subjected. But I'm also aware that we're adults with responsibilities and priorities other than a hobby that might make this incompatible, and still the interest of creating a meaningful ship is there. Which is why, for me, communication is equally as important as the aforementioned points. If I can't talk with the mun, how am I going to know their feelings on what's happening as our muses progress? There is a void left in my chest at the thought that I can't gush about things that happen with my RP partner in question which I have encountered in the past when I was less experienced in RP and more driven to what the majority used to do— but it simply doesn't work with me. If we won't be able to do things from scratch in a linear way, I want to have the opportunity to talk to my partner and at least build it through extensive discussions. Later on we can always jump in various points of our muses' timeline to observe in IC ways how certain things go. But... communication is simply a must to me. And if I happen to not mesh well with the mun for whatever reason (but still not to the point where IC interactions becomes incompatible, as we can still do IC things without necessarily ever talk if that's how it works between us) or lack that chance to talk things through with them... as much as I hate to say it, I won't ship it no matter how compatible our muses are.

Lastly, and this will be complicated to say so I'll just stick to what I've found the most compatible with Dain to have solid examples. The most 1:1 character I've found that Dain can be compatible with in Genshin is Neuvillette, without a sliver of doubt. There are others that would work well and that I don't necessarily ship (although I wouldn't turn the other way if it were suggested to me) like Xiao. Another 1:1 character I've found compatible with Dain that hilariously is all the way in HSR is Blade.

[ceaselessbasher]

It's so so so fun to adapt code that's not documented and can only be called "organized" if you're trying to be super polite!!!! It's so so so fun to trace a function across several components to see how the fuck it's being used only to find that the only line when it's called is commented!!!!! I love working for a tech start up that was founded by a business major and has been coded with very little regard for good practices!!!!

[salamispots]

reblogs my own stuff because after all why shouldn't I

slams froggy fists on table (frog thor voice): ANOTHER

[the-name-is-loser]

The secret step to being fine while scrolling tumblr is to simply ignore the posts you do not like

[introvertedelf]

prey and predator with logan ( does not go with my other ask)

Omg yesss you got it! @pickuptruck01

Warnings: breeding kink, creampie, Logan being a lil rough, scent kink, I think Logan called the reader a s!ut once?

💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛

You were hiding from Logan on purpose in the closet. He didn’t know what was going on, or so you thought.

You were about to get down and dirty with him before you mischievously ran away, winking before you disappeared.

He was a smart man. And he knew how filthy you were. How much you loved the way he dominated you.

“You know I can smell you, don’t you darlin’?” You heard him call from outside the room you were in.

You didn’t make a peep. You knew he knew you were in that closet. But this was a game. And so he went on to the next room.

You relocated to the dining room, hiding beneath the table. The table cloth went down the sides, so no one could see you under there.

You heard his boots walking, getting closer.

“I guess Y/N’s not in here . . .”

He moved on again. You fought yourself to keep from laughing. This was so thrilling. You knew you couldn’t truly hide from him. Not when you were this wet. He could smell your arousal from a mile away.

You got up once the coast was clear, heading down a hallway. You were going into another room—

“Gotcha!” He growled, grabbing you from behind. “What’s this little game you’re playing, huh? You wanted me to hunt you down, slut?”

You smiled up at him, turning around and pressing lips against his.

“Nu-uh. You wanna play that game? I hunted you down. I got my prize. Now I get to do with it what I want. Get your ass in there,” he motioned to the vacant room. Charles would be awfully upset, but oh well. That would be Logan’s problem.

He threw you on the bed, ripping clothes off of you, literally. “All you had to do was ask, baby. You know I would have obliged.”

“It wouldn’t have been much fun if I told you beforehand,” you said, spreading your legs in invitation for him.

“I guess you’re right. Such a naughty girl, spreading your fucking legs for me like that. You want me between them?”

You whimpered when he knelt down, inhaling the scent of your cunt and growling. “Fuck, you’d never be able to hide from me like this.”

He spread open your lips with his hands, licking a stripe from your hole to your clit, giving it a suck once he got there. “I could eat you out all fucking day,” he said before fucking you with his tongue.

Your hips bucked into his face, but he swatted them down quickly. “Keep still.”

He began to ‘make out’ with your pussy, getting sloppy and inserting a couple fingers inside of you, twisting them around and making you squirm.

“What did I just fucking tell ya? Hold still. What are you trying to do?”

“It’s so much, Lo—I can’t—“

He chuckled, the vibrations going straight to your clit. “Cum then if you can’t take it. Let it go, sweetheart.”

And so you did, all over Logan’s face. Yeah, you squirted all over his face, and he lapped it all up effortlessly. “Fuck. Do that more often, m’kay?”

He turned you around, putting you on your hands and knees, hands grabbing at your ass and hips. “Gonna fuck you now nice and good. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Beg me for it.”

You looked at him, giving your best puppy dog eyes. “Loooo, please. You know I need you. I wanna feel full of your cock so fucking—“

You didn’t need to say anything else. He was inside of you in an instant, and he didn’t start of slow. He fucked you like he needed air to breathe, balls hitting you with a smack with every thrust.

“I’m gonna fill this tight little pussy up, you hear me?”

He reached around between your thighs, cupping your cunt with his big hand, whispering “mine” into your ear.

He began to rub your clit, making you squirm. “Nope. Don’t you dare try to run away from me. I know that little pussy is sensitive, baby. I fucking know. But give me one more, yeah? Give it to me.”

His dirty talk never failed to send electric currents straight to your core, and you came practically on his command, screaming his name.

He growled, somehow fucking you harder, chasing his high. “Dammit, I’m gonna fill that pussy up, you hear me? I’m gonna—ah fuck—“

You felt his cum spray your insides all at once. When Logan came, it was in full, heavy loads. You couldn’t ever hold all his cum inside of you, so it dropped down on the sheets beneath you.

He rested against your back, pressing kisses into your shoulder blades and rubbing you.

Finally he rolled over with you, his cock still plugging you up. “Next time you want me to hunt you down, just tell me, doll. I’ll hunt you down and breed you until I’m satisfied.”

[loulovingho]

“Tommy!” Eddie cheered, lifting his drink toward the sky as he spotted his friend walking toward him. “Whatcha doin' here, Man?”

“Figured I'd stop by and see how you were doing, Bud,” Tommy replied. He gave Eddie a pat on the back as he sat down in the empty seat next to him. “You come here alone?”

“Mhm. Needed ta get out. House's too quiet.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Too long,” the bartender interrupted as he walked by. “Was about to cut him off. I already took his keys.”

Eddie's eyebrows furrowed, looking around the bar counter. “Hey! You took my keys.”

“I got him,” Tommy said, giving the bartender a nod. “I gotta say, at least you're talking better than you're texting. I was worried.”

Eddie's face scrunched up in confusion. “Huh? I never did texted you.”

“Oh, I beg to differ.” Tommy fished his phone out of his jacket pocket and went to his messages. “'Buuuuuuuck, lezz drink, Buddy.' Then five minutes later, 'Bruck, why rn't you at bar? I waiting.' A good two minutes after that you sent me your location with an angry emoji. Then, and this is my personal favorite, 'Loser too busy kissy kissy with Tummy to be a friendship.'”

"Huh. Thought I was textin' Buck.”

“Yeah, I pieced that together.”

“So where's Buck if you're not kissy kissy?” Eddie asked, his final drink sloshing over his fingers as he attempted to bring it to his lips.

Tommy took the drink from Eddie and set it back on the counter. “Evan is watching Jee overnight so Howie and Maddie can have a night away. So, you wanna talk about whatever's bothering you? I mean, I could take a guess, but...”

“Nah. No, no, nope. I wanna,” Eddie pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Lessgo karaoke, Tomboy-”

“We're not calling me that.”

“I wanna sing to the rooftops,” Eddie continued, his words slurring more and more with each sentence. “I wanna. I wanna be, you know, be free, Tommy. I don't have a rea-,” he hiccuped, “reason to get back home.”

“Really? Seems like that's exactly where you need to be right now.”

Eddie's eyes widened, like he'd thought of the best idea in the entire world. “Let's go to Peeping Tom! That's your name!”

“Peeping Tom is a gay bar, Eddie.”

“I don judge.”

“A very kinky, fully nude gay bar,” Tommy clarified.

Eddie squinted, deep in thought. “No karaoke?”

“No karaoke.”

“Well, then were we go? Don't say home!”

“Home.”

“Ugh,” Eddie groaned, allowing Tommy to wrap an arm around his back and help him up. “You're like a no- no fun dad. Wish I'd texted fun dad.”

Tommy gripped onto Eddie tighter as he stumbled while taking a step. He sighed. “Maybe next time.”

*****

When Eddie woke up the next morning it was to a pounding headache and blinding sunlight coming through his window. He was nauseous and his mouth tasted like a mixture of gasoline and mouthwash.

He laid there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what happened that made him feel so unbelievably ill.

After a few failed attempts, he finally rolled out of bed and made his way into the kitchen to fix himself some coffee.

He froze when he walked through the door to see Tommy sitting there, reading the newspaper.

“Good... morning?” Eddie started, confused.

Tommy set the paper down. “Morning. Sleep well?”

“I- I think so, I guess. It's a little blurry.”

Tommy hummed. “Not surprising. Coffee just finished, if you want some. Your couch is not comfortable, by the way.”

“Buck's never complained.”

“Yeah, well, he's easier to please than I am.”

Eddie was too hungover for this. He had so many questions, but for some reason the first one out of his mouth was: “Where'd you put my shoes?”

“In your closet.”

He grabbed himself a cup for some coffee. “My keys?”

“We have to go pick them up at the bar today, along with your car, obviously.”

“You didn't close my curtains last night. Woke up thinking I was being interrogated by Ice T.”

Tommy sighed, leaning back in his seat. “'Thank you so much for getting me home safely, Tommy. Did it hurt your back having to drag me into the house while I belted out Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of my lungs?'” He stood, walking over to Eddie and taking the coffee out of his hand, drinking a big sip. “Thank you for asking, Eddie. I think my back will be okay, but my ears will never recover.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, turning to fix himself another cup. “Thank you for getting me home safely, Tommy. I appreciate it.”

“Mhm. No problem.” Tommy returned to his seat and Eddie joined him at the table. They sat in silence for a couple minutes, taking small sips of their drinks.

Eventually, Tommy set his cup down a little harder than normal, getting Eddie's attention with the clinking sound. “Wanna talk about it?”

“About what? How your coffee tastes like cigarette sludge?”

“I'll take that as a no then.” Tommy checked his watch. “The bar doesn't open until three. Want me to stop by and pick you up then?”

Eddie shook his head. “I can just get an Uber, Man, thanks though.”

“Of course. I'll, uh, let you recover.” Tommy stood and went to leave, checking his pocket for his keys and phone.

As he neared the door, Eddie spoke. “Wait,” he said. Tommy turned back to face him.

“Yeah?”

“Why'd you sleep on my couch?”

“You're my friend,” he answered simply. “You drank a lot. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” He took a step back toward the table. “Are you okay?”

Eddie cradled the mug in his hands, watching the steam rise from the cup. “You don't... How long has it been? Since you talked to your dad?”

Okay, so Tommy wasn't leaving then.

He came to the table and sat down, taking a moment to think about Eddie's question. “About six years, I think.”

“What did he do?” He looked over at Tommy. “To make you stop talking to him, I mean. Unless you don't wanna get into it. In fact, forget it, I shouldn't-”

“Eddie, it's fine,” Tommy assured him. “I don't mind.”

“Okay,” Eddie nodded, sitting up straighter. “So? What happened?”

“It wasn't just one thing,” Tommy explained. “It was a lifetime of things. He's... He's not a good man. I think the catalyst was about a year after I came out. I hadn't been home in awhile, so I decided to drive to his place one weekend. When he answered the door he said, 'What the hell are you doing here?' I told him I was coming to see him and he said, 'What's the damn point in that?' I thought about it for a second and realized that was a good question, so I turned around, got in my car, and left. Never looked back.” Eddie seemed to be contemplating his words, and Tommy could tell where this was going. “It's not the same thing, Eddie,” he said, beating Eddie to it.

“What if he doesn't come back? What I did, Tommy, it wasn't... It was bad.”

“You made a mistake.”

“I cheated on my girlfriend with a doppelganger of his mom, Tommy, and he caught me.”

“Granted, it was a big mistake,” Tommy deadpanned. “But, still a mistake. He'll come around. You gotta give him time.”

“People keep telling me that,” Eddie replied with an eye roll. “That he'll come around. But it's been months of nothing. And it seems like no matter what I do, it's not enough.”

“You're trying.”

Eddie huffed. “I'm not sure getting drunk alone at a bar is trying.”

“I think it shows you care, Eddie. And, yeah, that shouldn't become a habit, but you're allowed to be upset. You're allowed to hurt. You made a mistake, but you're a good dad and Christopher knows that. He will come around.”

“And if he doesn't?” Eddie asked, staring over at Tommy.

“Then you keep trying,” Tommy replied. “You never stop trying. Keep being there, keep sending him letters and getting him on Facetime. Go for a visit. Send him texts. I'm not saying you gotta smother him, but never let him forget that you're there. That's the biggest mistake you could ever make.”

“Yeah,” Eddie took a deep breath. “Yeah, you're right. I just... I gotta keep it up. Let him know I'm here, whenever he's ready.”

“Exactly.”

Eddie looked over at the clock on his stove, 11:32 staring back at him. He had no idea he'd slept so long. “Why don't you call Buck, see if he wants to come over and watch a game? Then you can drive me to my car.”

“Oh, you want me to call Evan? Don't you mean fun dad?” Tommy asked, eying Eddie.

It took him a minute, but the memory came back to him. “I did say that, didn't I?”

“You did,” Tommy confirmed. “Which I'm very offended by, by the way. I'm fun!”

Eddie sighed, his head drooping down. “I know you are.”

“I introduced you to karaoke trivia. I've flown you to Vegas.”

“I remember.”

“I never tried to seriously injure you in the name of love.”

“Which I'm very grateful for.”

“I don't have control issues when I have a clipboard in my hand.”

“Are you just gonna keep listing reasons why you're fun?”

“I once shoved three cupcakes in my mouth at once! Nearly choked to death, but Evan whacked me on the back and everything went down just fine.”

Eddie stood with his mug in hand, pointing toward the living room, “I'm gonna go to the couch. Get more comfortable.”

Tommy followed behind, pulling out his phone to call Buck. “I'll let Evan tell you who bowled a 230 last week. Hint: it was me!”

[antisocialbunnysims]

ive been really busy and wasn't able to finish this in time for halloween! but i hope someone will enjoy these now regardless lol, more details and DL under the cut!

its no secret i like to obsessively pose scenes in sims 2 lol and i edited some various "movie" posters (they aren't real movies obv). I tried to keep them with a pretty true-to-sims-energy style. Some of them have video game energy and could be used in gaming stores too!

the posters come on artig and also surfing the universe for super collection peeps. Idk why I put them on a poster that isn't nearly the same aspect ratio, it made it way harder for no reason lol. The films are:

Blood in the Water (tagline: at the beach...looking like a snack)

Phantom Photo (j horror-inspired, you can prob guess the game! :P)

A Generous Man (a Rod Humble horror movie..whats in the box!!)

Virus Hunters (tagline: the best way to kill a virus...is with a gun)

Game Day (tagline: there's no "I" in scream)

here's how the artig recolors look on various add-ons by @littlelittlesimmies . Sadly as you can see the posters get a bit cut-off on the artig poster add-on because I extended outside of artig's white border and didn't realize they got cut off until late in the process ;_;

i made the artig ones at 1024 originally so included them just in case someone wants hq textures. up close you can tell a difference, but from normal game distance they look essentially the same. So you can pick between 512 or 1024 in the folder.

DOWNLOAD BOX compressorized and swatch included

credits: textures from freepik, blood on sims leg in the shark movie poster is from the preview pic of zerographic's layerable facial wounds at mts, and simlish fonts by ChèreIndolente, franzilla, ozyman4, and ajaysims 1 2

one of the unedited screenshots from in-game just for fun lol, unfortunately the girl at the bottom's i'm-not-really-helping-that-much flip-flop foot pose didn't make it into the final poster

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

So I

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Summary: your casual arrangement turns a bit too serious.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

There’s a knock at the door. You huff as you don’t need to look through the peep hole to know who it is. No buzzer but he always finds a way. 

You pick up your phone and open the chat, ‘told you I’m tired.’ 

The little check mark flicks down. Read. No reply comes, only another knock on the door. 

‘Long day.’ You send another message. 

Thump. Thump. Thump. 

“You really want me to knock the door down?” Bucky chuckles through the wood. 

You inhale and roll yourself off the couch. You drop the phone on the square end table as you pass and drag your feet to the door. You lean on the inside and yawn as loudly as you can. 

“It’s after curfew,” you jeer. He wiggles the handle. “Go home.” 

“You’re gonna leave me out here like a stray cat? Come on. I came all the way down here,” he pleads. 

You turn your back to the door and shrug, “told you not to. Besides, not all of us have a soft spot for alley cats.” 

“Alpine is not an ally cat. Come on, I brought beer.” 

You scoff, “thought that piss didn’t do anything for ya?” 

“No, but it makes you a lot of fun.” 

You huff and push off the door. You turn and slide back the chain. You flip the lock back and open up. You arch a brow at your uninvited guested. 

“Thank you,” you trill and grab the six pack from him. He catches the door before you can swing it shut. He tuts and steps forward, pushing his elbow into the wood until you let it go. 

“Don’t play games. You know, I can tell when you’re in need of a good fucking. You don’t send any emojis.” He snaps the door shut behind him as you retreat with your prize. 

“Or maybe I was trying to get you to stop texting so I could enjoy my new toy in peace. Ever think of that. Sometimes It's about efficiency, not passion.” 

“Passion?” He scoffs as leans a hand on the wall and lifts a foot to undo his boot. 

“Probably not the right word for this,” you free a can from the plastic rings and shove the rest in the fridge. 

“You and your goddamn toys. Let me guess, this one has blue tooth.” 

“Does yours?” You strut out of the kitchen and flick his arm in passing. 

“No but it’s got all the features you need and you know it.” He taps your ass before you can elude him. 

You crack the can of beer and take a deep gulp. The TV continues to blare the reality show retrospective you’ve been feeding your time to. You flop on the couch and sigh. You suck down the grainy brew and swallow a gulp before it can escape your throat. 

Bucky looms behind the couch and grips the back. He leans over you. “How many of those until those hideous pajamas come off?” 

“Ha? What? You don’t wanna fuck me in my Spongebob jammies? They’re vintage.” 

He snorts, “you really are good a killing the mood, aren’t you?” 

“You’re a real Squidward sometimes, you know that?” You slurp another mouthful. 

“I have no idea what that is,” he says flatly as he tickles along your shoulder. 

You hate it. You hate him. Just a touch and you’re ready to go. Minutes ago, you were ready to pass out but now you’re wide awake. And fucking horny. 

“BPM going up, body temperature rising,” he runs his vibranium knuckles along your cheek and you wince away from him. 

“I hate when you do that.” You pull away and stand, plunking down the can. You huff and peel off your tank top. “I have an interview for a promotion tomorrow so hurry up.” 

“Romantic? Do you still wanna use the new toy? You know I don’t mind filling your mouth when you get like this.” 

You stick your tongue out at him and point to the bedroom. He rolls his eyes and strides off. You pause the television and take another swig of beer. You need to sleep and he’s good at fucking you into a coma. 

As you reach the bedroom, he’s already naked. His broad shoulders are etched in scars, the left one mottled with aged burns along the border of vibranium. His muscles cord down along his rib cage and sides.

A year ago, you would never expect a man like this to be standing naked in your bedroom. A super soldier. Bucky Barnes. 

He turns to you and wiggles the little square between his two fingers. The wrapped condom reflects the overhead light with its flashy packaging. He flexes his chest as you reach to undo your bra. 

“Should I pop it on now or can I get a taste first?” He asks with a flick of his tongue. 

You march to him and swipe the condom from his grasp. You jab his chest and he staggers back to the bed, his legs pressing against the frame. He teeters as he smirks down at you. 

“I’ll give you a ride, cowboy.” 

He falls back and spreads his arms wide. The bed squeaks beneath his weight. You push down your pajama pants and climb over him. You toss the mattress to the top of the bed as you raise yourself on your knees, hovering over his head as his thick hair fans out beneath.

He turns to graze his beard against your thigh. You purr and lower yourself to smother him in your cunt. He hums and laps at you eagerly. 

Mmm. This is exactly the stress relief you need.