#have been pondering this for a while & if the question *must* be asked then its the only headcanon i personally find satisfactory | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

emmeraude · 6 months ago

Text

when i look at you

— k. ayato.

synopsis: they say drunk thoughts are sober thoughts. ayato, intoxicated by the alcohol from the earlier party, finally takes the courage to confess that to him, you are more than a political partner. to him, this marriage is more than an arranged proposal. why can’t you see how fervently he attempts to make this marriage work? why won't you ever look his way? when did the walls of your relationship become too steep to climb up? how did you two end up taking the longer, rockier road of your relationship?

w.c: 4,866 oops

additional tags: female reader, arranged marriage, pining sort of? definitely slow burn, and drunk ayato bc i headcanon him as one who is clingy when drunk 😋

notes: its sooo so hard to format the centered ones 😭 if its not properly centered on your device im sorry to you and to ur family 😭🙏 lol. cross posted in both ao3 and tumblr. enjoy!

I loved you even in my ignorance.

I loved you when I didn’t even know.

I just love you.

“Never will I ever fall for you. Remember that. This marriage is solely for strengthening the political alliances of our families,” you remembered Ayato’s first words on the night of your consummation all too well.

Under the iron facade of a picture-perfect political marriage, you know of the things yet unseen behind the curtains. It was far from ideal, seeing how neither of you had let the walls surrounding you crumble even the slightest. The emotions you have tried to keep hidden never once slipped into the seeping fragmented cracks of your oh-so-perfect marriage.

When you were betrothed, you two were often the talk of the town—the main gossip among the nobles in Inazuma. It was a given, knowing that both of you were from prominent clans with reputable names. Ayato, the Yashiro commissioner, head of the Kamisato clan, and you, the cold-blooded lady of the Sangonomiya clan, the iron protector of Watatsumi Island. Such a perfect pair was not one to escape the tattletale mouths of those nobles that piqued their curiosity about you two.

For the many years you were betrothed to the esteemed Kamisato Ayato, a bond between the two of you was yet to be established. It was a given, of course. It was arranged, after all.

Yet, often, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were both too distant. Too preoccupied at the thought of this marriage being nothing but political to engage in friendly conversations, too estranged to even feign a sense of camaraderie. You pondered because the two of you silently had a mutual understanding that this political marriage of yours would be a civil one, right? So, why does your relationship seem too far from being civil? It was as if you two were nothing but mere strangers.

Such questions were raised, but of course, you never once mustered the courage to ask your husband any of them. You were too immersed in trying to mask your emotions, thinking this might have been what your husband preferred after all—a quiet, emotionless wife who seemed to be as good as dead. And so, when he attempts to draw closer to you, you avoid it like a plague. You feel disturbed being with him, and you notice that his being around is much of a distraction to you while you are busy guarding your heart. Yet whenever you were about to succumb to your hopeless yearning, you are reminded of his words on your first night.

“Never will I fall for you. Remember that.”

So when he became a tad bit affectionate, you deliberately pushed him away—out of shock and confusion, to say the least. Only he can stir your emotions all at once, although, of course, he was never aware. He must never know, or so you think.

”Wife,” Ayato calls, opening the door and walking straight to your room, each step causing the floor to creak a little.

“You’re home,” you acknowledge his presence, although not at once did you bat an eye. He sighs at your indifference, which is nothing new over the years of your marriage. You were indifferent, dismissive, and cold. He was busy, detached, and always nowhere to be seen. Apart from the necessary appearances to represent your clan in public, you two can only be seen together at night, quietly in your bed chambers, when the day is about to end.

“Wife,” he calls you again as he heads toward the side of the bed to greet you with a kiss on the cheek. Trying to conceal both the shock and embarrassment from his sudden actions, you immediately pull away, a slight frown visible on your face.

“We have already practiced before how to act when other people are around. There’s no need to do that here, not when only the two of us are present. What are you doing?” Your brow raises upon asking the question. You place your book on your lap to face him, although you refuse to look him in the eye.

“Must I have a reason to give my wife a kiss of greeting upon my arrival?” This time, it was Ayato raising his brow as if questioning why you asked so.

“No, I just find it unbecoming of you,” you reply coldly, dismissing him entirely before you put your book on the side table.

“Then, I will do this from now on before we part and do our daily chores, if you would let me,” he replies, and you feel a tinge of hesitation present as he utters those words to you.

“Ayato, stop toying me. I will retire for the night,” you hiss, turning your back from him as you lie down on the opposite side of the bed.

“You won’t ask what prompted my sudden change of behavior?” He asks, and never once did you catch the hurt in his voice that night.

“I don’t want to know,” you murmur, covering your face with the blanket as you tuck yourself in. “Good night,” you add before heading to slumber.

Among all the nights you have spent with him, this was one of the coldest ones yet. Too solemn, too quiet to bear, too agonizing to never be able to utter the words you wanted to say to him.

ii.

Ayato hardly ever slept that night.

He kept on pondering where it all went wrong. Perhaps he was too harsh during the first years of your marriage, too busy to attend to his wife. Maybe he, too, was as cold as you were.

He remembers the words of Yae Miko days ago when he was about to head home.

“For someone as esteemed as you are, you can be quite foolish, no?” The Guuji emphasized, leaving Ayato confused about what she might be on. What is she up to?

“Your wife,” she paused, “might have been able to find a more suitable partner had you not been arranged with her.”

I am the most eligible husband candidate in Inazuma. That sly fox is mistaken. He thought.

Those words have never left his mind ever since. It must have been one of the reasons why he had a sudden change of heart. If he thinks he is the most eligible husband, he must show it. What has he been doing all these years?

Believing that the marriage was merely political, Ayato tried his best to remain as distant from you as possible—no monkey business, no attachments are allowed. He ensured that all your small talks would only be about the clan and other political opinions he wanted to hear from you. He was the first to draw the line between the two of you, yet why does he feel hurt seeing how distant you two have become for the past years? Rather than becoming closer, you seemed to have grown farther apart. The lines he drew became a full-fledged wall of boundaries as you two drifted away from each other. That was not what he wanted.

It may be too late to make amends. The damage may have scarred the relationship even before it started. Ayato recalls the first day he saw you, with his face the same as ever, a practiced smile etched on his lips, the smile never once reaching his eyes as he utters the words he never meant to say. He faced several hurdles on the day of your marriage, several assassination attempts and a never-ending interrogation from the nobles who wanted to acquire the power of the Kamisato Clan by forcing their daughters onto him even on the day of his wedding ceremony. It left such distaste in his mouth, seeing how the power-hungry nobles were ever so aggressive and disrespectful. He must have thought back then that maybe you were like them too, hence why he said those words to you with such contempt.

I will never fall for her? Celestia, such an absurd thing to say when my wife is as lovely as could be despite the exuding coldness she gives off, he thinks. Now, he is determined to make this relationship work. He promised himself that despite this being political, he would treat you well. He will give you gifts, spoil you rotten, and perhaps become good allies. However, he has been so preoccupied with work that he has forgotten his wife waiting for him at home. It’s been years, he thought. Such a douchebag I am... He hopes it’s not yet too late to woo you, and he will do everything he can to make those high walls of yours crumble to ashes completely. If he has a face fancied by many, he might ought to put it to good use, right?

However, there was one thing he overlooked. He never noticed it back then, and realization only hits him right now when he eats breakfast with you after many weeks of not eating together.

Not once did you look him in the eye.

Figuratively and literally, he supposed. Was it always this way?

“Wife,” he calls you to get your attention and see whether you’ll look at him. Unsurprisingly, you did not, which caused something in his heart to twinge. Must you be so cold?

“What?”

“Can I have an ounce of your attention?” he asks, his tableware clinking more as he anticipates your undivided attention.

“I’m listening. What is it?” Much to his dismay, you still did not look at him, too focused on the meal in front of you as you ate quietly.

“No. I want you to look at me,” he says, meaning it literally and figuratively.

“Not now, my lord, for I am still eating. Even so, I am all ears. Just what, pray tell, do you want to speak about?”

Ayato sighed defeatedly; even a frown was seen upon hearing you call him “my lord.” He shakes his head, not wanting to be as forward as he was earlier, and decides not to speak anymore, for he thinks it might cause you to push him away even further. He wipes his mouth using the table napkin before him as he finishes his meal. He looks at you once more, noticing a lingering sauce on the side of your lips. Instinctively, he leans to you and wipes them off, startling you. This prompts you to finally, finally look at him. A smirk forms on his lips upon seeing how flustered you look.

“Y-you could have just told me… I can wipe it off myself,” you stammer, a blush creeping down your cheeks. Despite your attempts to hide it, his actions obviously affected you.

“I know. I just want to do it for you,” Ayato says, triumphant at the sight of you blushing because of him. He wants to speak more, perhaps to tease you, but he chose to stay still when he heard nothing from your end.

Silence envelops the room after that. You do not know how to respond to his gestures right now. You are having a hard time deciphering what he wants. Did he purposefully do that because he was paying attention to you? Or is he perhaps touch starved? You quickly brush off these thoughts, thinking they are far from sensible. It’s merely foolish thinking. You believe that the great Kamisato Ayato is far from being like that.

Ayato sighs again, and you swear it was the fourth time he did so during your breakfast. He must have despised the idea of sharing meals with me, you thought to yourself. He continues to look at you, and even without direct eye contact, you know, you feel him staring at you as if he wants to say something.

“I just want to tell you in advance that there will be another social gathering hosted by the Hiiragi clan for all of the nobles in Inazuma,” Ayato speaks once more, trying to divert another topic in hopes of hearing your voice again.

“When will it be held?” You ask, and he rejoices upon hearing how lovely your voice sounds in his ears.

“Three months from now, I suppose,” he replies, his tone calm despite feeling slightly giddy.

Was there a reason why he said it to you so early? Does he want you to prepare meticulously for the party? What does he want? Oh, Celestia. Your husband is so hard to figure out. It makes you think that perhaps you may have known nothing about him at all, which was understandable since the two of you barely strike up any conversations that are not work-related. Still, it left a bad taste in your mouth, knowing you two were estranged from one another despite being married for years.

Ayato, on the other hand, realizes he has come to love you far more than he could ever admit. He would like to ask himself when and how the love started to bloom in his heart, yet he could never pinpoint an exact moment. Was it when he first saw how beautiful you looked on your wedding day? Or was it when he witnessed how you gracefully wield your sword, infused with the faintest touch of electro—a skill that might be unmatched even by the Shogun herself? Was it when he saw you having tea with his dear sister, Ayaka, smiling fondly at her while your pleasant laughter filled the room? He does not know. One thing he learned is that it steadily grew. Patiently, ardently, crushingly so, without him ever knowing. And when he understood it, it had grown too big to ignore. Too overwhelming to hide, so much that oftentimes it seeps into the cracks in his guarded heart whenever you two are together.

He started giving you gifts more frequently than before and started writing letters regarding what he has been up to at work. However, the letters do not get reciprocated, much to his dismay. Perhaps you were so stunned at his gradual changes that you find it hard to keep your usual composed, distant facade, seeing how much he has changed over the past few months. But he understands. He decided to give you all the time you need until you finally respond to him—both to his letters and his feelings. Ayato realized he loved you in the past oh so silently. Perhaps too silent—too hushed for you to ever have known, ever to feel. Slowly, he has learned to love more freely and vocally, even in his simple ways. He has yet to say it, sure, but he wishes his love becomes more piercing and loud for you to know, for you to feel.

iii.

Months passed, and the much-awaited social gathering for the nobles to be hosted by the Hiiragi clan finally arrived. While the servants helped you prepare for the said party, you heard a knock on the door, with smiling Ayato entering. He pause for a moment before walking towards you, reveling as he looks at the beauty in front of him.

“Dear wife, you look dazzling as ever,” your husband marvels, eyeing you from head to toe with his lips a bit open.

“Enough of your bluffing, Ayato. Such a sweet liar you are,” a small chuckle escapes your lips, leaving your husband feeling delighted at the sight as he rushes over to you to take a closer look at your appearance. He gently takes your hand, leaving a light peck on your knuckles.

“Not once did I ever lie to you. You look beautiful,” Ayato looks at you, full of adoration in his eyes. Once you also looked at him, you immediately avoided staring at him for far too long, afraid his beauty might as well entrance you. For while he utters his praises of how beautiful you look, you can’t help but revel his face when you stare at him. He, too, seems as if the gods carved him carefully. Beautiful, crushingly so. He was the epitome of majestic.

The last three months went by like a hurricane. Never once did you imagine you would little by little open your heart to the man before you. For the last few months, you have seen him actively reaching out to you more than before. Still, your heart was guarded, albeit not much more than it was in the past. You see, your relationship progresses to something more than plain civility. The two of you formed a sense of kinship as you got to know more about one another.

Once the party started, you two stuck around each other for a while, then parted ways shortly thereafter to mingle with several nobles separately. It was almost past ten, and having not noticed the time, you searched for Ayato, who was nowhere to be seen. You turn and find Thoma, who is guarding you at the corner. You asked him if he knew your husband’s whereabouts, to which he responded that he was in the other room drinking with the noblemen. You thanked him and asked him to head there with him.

As you open the door, you see your husband sitting with the nobles, holding a cup. There was something different about him, though. You notice his eyes are close to squinting as you walk towards them. You greeted the noblemen shortly and focused your attention on Ayato, who looked like he drank a little alcohol upon seeing the presence of redness on his ear.

“Ayato, goodness…” you mumble to yourself. It was unlikely for him to look drunk like this.

“The wine tastes a bit sweet, so he must have drunk a lot, milady,” Thoma says, and you realize that Ayato likes sweets, which must have been why he drank a lot without knowing that the wine was strong. Ayato opens his eyes, a stern look he tries to make. This prompts you to giggle a bit, seeing how your husband never once softens his look even while being intoxicated.

The ride home was ever so silent. Ayato stares at you piercingly, and you, left not knowing what to do, avoid his gaze as always. After a few while, however, you decide to ask how he is feeling.

“Are you okay?” You ask out of concern since he seemed to be spacing out, which was so unlikely of him.

“I am. My head just feels dizzy,” he murmurs.

“That’s the consequence of drinking a lot,” you teased him, and even though you weren’t looking at him, you felt as though he was rolling his eyes. My, look at that sass, you thought.

“It’s not my fault that the wine is sweet. It almost tastes that of boba tea,” Ayato counters.

“You could have just asked for another sweet beverage similar to boba, Ayato,” you argued once more, obviously amused at his replies.

“I cannot decline the eager requests of the noblemen who surrounded me,” he sighs.

“Must you drink a lot, then?” You raise your eyebrow.

“Heavens, wife. Please stop scolding me. Never did I know I could never win an argument with you,” he sighs again, earning yet another hearty laugh from you in response to what he says. Ah, music to my ears, Ayato thought.

“Alright, alright. I’ll shut up,” you resign in defeat, although your laugh has still yet subsided.

You arrived at the estate shortly after. With the help of Thoma, you hand-in-hand carried your husband to your private chambers. You thank your retainer as he quietly exits.

You prepare a damp towel with a basin filled with water to wash your husband, then carefully undo the kumihimo and try to remove all the layers of his ever-so-thick clothing slowly. He stirs a bit, opening his eyes as he witnesses you caring for him. He sits up, helping you remove his clothes so that he can now wear his night kimono. Now that his upper body was bare and free from any clothes, you wiped his arms, then his chest, and lastly, his neck.

“I can do this on my own…” he murmurs, which seems to be grumbling in your ears.

“I doubt. Someone as pampered as you?” You snorted.

“Oh, come on. Stop attacking me when I’m in such a weak-minded state,” he scoffs, and now you clearly can no longer hide the amusement because of his actions.

You merely chuckle lightly, a sight he revels the most. Abruptly, he pulls you closer to him, head feeling a bit hazy as he takes in your scent. He wraps his arms around you, his body leaning towards yours as your back touches the headboard of your bed.

“Ayato?” You gently tap his cheeks, causing him to lean closer to your touch.

He was silent for a while, with his breath steady and slow, and when you have come to conclude that he perhaps might have fallen asleep, he speaks, making you jolt a bit in surprise.

“Why…” Ayato mumbles to his breath, his head nuzzling to your neck upon sighing with exasperation. Albeit confused, you strive to console him by patting him gently, trying to understand that he must have been far more intoxicated because of the drinks he had earlier.

“Why won’t you look at me?” He says, as if pleading with you to take even just one glance, to take a chance with him.

“Pardon?” You pause for a moment.

“Look at me,” you feel a thread of desperation laced in his voice so soft that it might have threatened your senses, altering your resolve as you try to remain composed.

“I am looking at you now, Ayato,” you answer, facing him to prove your point. However, your eyes never once gazed at his, even now. Try as you may, you can never find a solid explanation of his actions. Upon saying those words, you made an effort to sound as calm as possible, as if trying to soothe your husband, who seemed to be... sulking...?

“No, you know that’s not what I meant,” he groans, causing you to be a bit taken aback. Oh, seeing him frowning and grumbling, such a sight of him you have never witnessed your whole life. Not until now, that is. What in the world did Ayato drink for him to become this sluggish and vulnerable?

“What, then?” You pause for a while, confusion now clearly etched on your face as you look at him.

“Why must you be so cruel? If only you could see how much I devote myself to this marriage. How I’m devoted to... to you…” His voice was somewhat cracked, making it seem as if it was what keeping him up late at night for the past few days.

His words left you bewildered. You blink your eyes a couple of times, feeling your cheeks warming upon realizing what he meant. Oh. You choose to shut your mouth, because the best option you can think about right now is avoiding confrontation. To avoid talking. And you know that’s what you’re good at.

“See? You won’t even respond to me right now…” he purposefully laced his voice with sulking, knowing how it works on you all too well.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say, Ayato,” you admit, sighing as you think that maybe you cannot avoid things forever.

“Your normal response when someone confesses to you should either be a rejection or acceptance, or even an ounce of gratitude will do, my darling wife. Don’t you know that?” Ayato coos. Despite the hint of teasing in his voice, there was also gentleness in it, as if making sure to be patient with whatever response you may give.

“And why is my drunk husband lecturing me about this? For a drunk person, you sure are chatty, no?” You attempt to tease him, which, in return, he merely snorts. He was silent for a while afterwards, and then he spoke again.

“Because I want to know how you feel about me, too…”

You were quiet once more, again taken aback by his straightforwardness. You have known Ayato to be a no-nonsense type of person. He does not like it when people beat around the bush. Despite him being known as a cunning charmer who has the power to entice people with his mere words, he makes sure that his words never lack substance. He especially lets you know his likes and dislikes, and you thought to yourself once that his straightforwardness was what you liked the most, in contrast to you, who have learned to conceal everything even from your husband.

“Ayato, if I may be honest with you… I was ready to live as though I was dead in the first months of our marriage. It was so lonely, you know?” you say to him, which alarmed him as he faced you with a frown.

“Wife…”

“I made my walls too high because I was scared that when you see a fracture of my vulnerability, you might look away and throw me. And knowing that there are a lot of people coveting the position as your wife, I was restless, Ayato, because I know I am replaceable, and you are not,” you paused a bit, feeling something heavy blocked in your throat as you struggle to speak without breaking down. He was about to protest what you said when you stopped him and continued talking.

“A-and why do you think I was that scared? It was because I loved you too, idiot, from the start. I loved you secretly and learned to keep this feeling of mine. Do you know how terrified I am upon imagining you looking at me with disgust if ever you find it out? You uttered in our first meeting that I should never expect any love from you!” Your voice broke a bit as tears finally fell. Ayato promptly cups your face to wipe away the tears cascading down your face.

“Shh… I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to you. I will make sure I can. Please let me. I love you…” Ayato murmurs as he gently rubs your back, all while hugging you. Your soft sniffles are heard across the room, and it pains him to hear those from you. He likes it when you speak; he likes to listen to your voice, which he thinks was a rarity back then. However, never did he imagine he would come to hear your cries because of him, and it broke his heart, too. He looks up, staring at your face, and kisses your tears away. He kisses your forehead, then nuzzles to your neck as the two of you finally drifted to sleep afterwards with you cradled in his arms.

As soon you feel the sun’s glaring light, you gently open your eyes. You see your husband at your side with you two facing each other, and immediately, embarrassment fills up your thoughts upon recalling how much you cried to him last night. Embarrassing! I hope he was too drunk to remember what I said last night!

Your wishes were unheard, however, as he stirs awake shortly after you do. Ayato opens his eyes, immediately searching yours the moment he does so. The first thing he did was to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, a grin plastering his lips upon seeing your red face. He shakes his head while touching your face as if reading your mind.

“If you think I have forgotten our conversations last night, you are wrong, my darling wife. I shall embed it in my mind for the rest of my life.”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes in return, earning a heartfelt laugh from him. He will always ever be glad to see a new side of you.

“I know you love me,” he teases more, the smile on his face never once faded. He kisses your forehead first, then your cheeks, then finally, your lips. Despite being a bit starstruck, you still spoke to him to keep up with your bantering.

“Fair reminder that it was you who confessed first, dear husband. You love me, too,” you retorted, feeling snug at your comeback as you smirked at him.

“Oh, no one can deny that. I love you, and I yearn for you most ardently, my lovely wife.”

This time, you are sure the two of you will now walk the path at the same pace. No more secrets you need to conceal, no more running away despite things getting overwhelming. Lastly, no more looking down in hopes of avoiding his gaze. You know you can now erase the lines you ridiculously drew at the start of your marriage. You are now well rested, knowing the high walls you two built to protect yourselves are crumbling slowly but surely, steadily, and beautifully.

Ayato is at peace, too, knowing how you finally learned to look at him. Moreso at the fact that you looked at him now oh so lovingly. And as such, the two of you are now finally listening to the beat of your hearts both of you stubbornly tried to avoid.

istg posting in tumblr is hard 😭 this is my first time here lmaooo salute to all writers here omg. i hope all ayato stans (me) are having a feast at the surge of ayato fics here in tumblr we r blessed 🔥

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x you #kamisato ayato #arranged marriage au #how to tags lol

283 notes · View notes

qierxing · 2 years ago

Text

yandere Corpse bride AU, where you're a undead person who died in their wedding attire and swore to be reunited with their spouse.

When Trey accidentally summons you after practicing his wedding vows to his fiance, he nearly faints when you stagger to your feet, covered in dirt and silk white tatters that barely cover flesh and bones. You happily accept the polished silver ring and trap him in a tight hug. It's much too late for him to get a word in while you babble about plans on whether the wedding venue should be decorated in white lilies or red roses. But he's too kind, and he can't find it in himself to squash the sparkling hope that lights your gaunt eyes, and so–

–he keeps quiet. His groomsman, an eccentric cat like gentleman who has a fondness of unsolvable riddles and mischief, merely grins widely when he hears Trey's conflicted explanation.

"The poor dear probably means no harm," he laughs and shrugs. "And if you help them, then they might be able to pass on."

Trey sincerely hopes so. From your overall look, it's clear that you've been dead for a good while, and although you refuse to talk about it, the gaping hole in your chest most likely meant that your death was not caused by natural means.

He comes to learn that you had planned to elope with your fiance, but somewhere along the way, you had perished waiting for them. Robbed of the meager gold coins you took to keep you and partner afloat, you were resigned to waiting for the day they would come back to your waiting arms.

He didn't plan on this. He thought it was just pity that kept him by your side, gently adjusting your limbs when they became askew from rot or making sure to fix your tattered wedding wear back to its original luster, with the help of an old teacher. No, it was not pity when he showed you how he baked cakes, watching with a soft smile as you admired wholeheartedly his frosting skills. It was not pity he felt when he let himself listen to you play elegant piano pieces, haunting melodies echoing off stone walls.

Somewhere, along the way, you had become endearing.

He doesn't think about the fiance who wonders where he must be, whose curiosity leads them to follow Trey to his meeting place with you. They are horrified, but most of all, outraged. How dare you take away their future partner? And that is indeed what they shout when they confront you when you're alone, shrieking about how you were a monster and taking someone else's husband away. Needless to say, you run from them in confusion and fear.

Is that really what you are? Just a heartless monster? The more you ponder upon it, the more you realize their words ring true as you try to search your memory of Trey agreeing to marry you. Anything that would have confirmed that he loved you. But it all comes up blank. There are no watery tears when you weep; but your ribs crack under the weight of your stuttering breaths, your lifeless body barely able to maintain your lively emotions.

And so, you decide to let go. Perhaps you can bear to love Trey, but you can't bear being the reason he couldn't love. When Trey comes to see you again, you quietly slip off the silver ring, still shiny and new, and hand it back to him. His face pales, worried confusion lacing his questions on if you changed your mind because of something he said? Were you mad at him for not staying longer with you the other day? You can only smile as he rambles on, and it's only when you clasp both his hands gently, he finally, finally, looks you in the eyes.

You apologize for everything: not asking him whether he wanted to even marry you, forcing him to spend time with you, making him acquiesce to your stubborn demands. It's a miracle you don't break down midway through.

There's a comforting pull when you laugh with tears in your eyes at Trey's horrified face. It's so soothing, there's barely any resistance, as pieces of you start flickering away, flesh finally rendering itself to dust, silk fluttering into petals that float away on the wind.

If you're lucky, you'll pass on before Trey grabs you in desperation, attempting to bring back dust and particles in hopes of making you stay. You can finally be free of your mortal coil and sorrows–even if you leave behind a man who spirals into madness and insanity. Cursed to roam the earth until he could find a way to join you in the afterlife and beyond.

–but if not, beware.

Death is not torture, it is repreive. Being forced to endure your flesh falling apart at the seams, while in the arms of someone who cannot see sense, is more agonizing than being able to accept your life and move on.

Yes, beware the man who has learned to love so fiercely, he's willing to defy nature's laws and whatever god is out there so you can remain his lovely spouse, for the rest of eternity.

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #my works #yandere trey clover #had to get this out of my mind bc trey rot strong tonite

866 notes · View notes

genshin-squabbles-and-wobbles · 1 year ago

Text

Marked from Another World || Part 2

╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗

Character: Ayato

Type: Angst

Content: Years later, you were independently holding up yourself, despite having the mark. You hid it well, however, while doing jobs in inazuma, being known as the grim reaper, you caught his attention without knowing. This turned your mark yellow, as now, this man will stop at nothing to get your attention, and convince you to be his.

About being Taglisted in my stories: Here

Trigger Warning: Violence, Murder Trying to force arranged marriage and having kids, ( will update the more the story progresses )

[ Please don’t repost, this is my original story. ]

Part 1: Here

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

You walked up to the man that your job required you to kill, as you did it with ease, and no care. You swung your scythe and decapitate the target, you then with ease took the body. The weight was nothing to you, as you carried it straight to the nobleman who requested it. You dropped it by his front door and knocked. You then disappeared.

You went by the nearest body of waters and washed your mask and scythe from the blood. Despite being transported into Genshin, it was a darker world then you expected. The game only shows you the PG things however, just like every other worlds, it has its dark sides. Black market, murder, death, and since it was in the old times in the countries, torture is still in fashion at the moment. You had to be just as ferocious to live in this world. You sighed, and jumped on the homes of inazuma, not making a noise with your footstep, and went to the highest building. You sat and rested there until morning.

Next morning, you rubbed your eyes and laid back. You looked at Celestia from afar. One day...you will get up there. One day. You then sat up, and stood up. You dropped down and stayed hidden. All of a sudden a guard, tapped your shoulder and handed you a note. You looked at him confused and took the note and opened it.

Note: Greetings Grim Reaper, I must let you know that I do require your services on handling an issue. I will offer you a million mora to take care of it. Please come to this address at once. I will be there waiting at 9am.

-A

You looked up and saw the guard was gone. You looked at the note confused. Who was "A"? Well whatever, you wanted to get out of Inazuma as quick as you can, but one million mora seems like an important job. As you had an hour to meet this mysterious person, you pondered on what to do.

You decided to meet this person. Once you arrived, you were in an secluded area, it was a cave underneath inazuma overall. You walked in the cave and looked around.

"Ah, you came my dear." You heard a voice, you know that voice. You turned and calmly and saw it was Ayato. "I'll have you know, that I am grateful you decided to meet me under such short notice. It is greatly appreciated, Grim Reaper."

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

You stayed quiet and still, and waited to hear to see what he wanted. You had a mask, gloves, and your black attire covering you and your identity. Though you can't help, why does your palm with the mark suddenly feel...warm?

Ayato walked up to you with his arms formally placed behind his back. "My My, you have been such a slippery roach. I am well aware, you might be the missing person who was in the flock I summoned years ago."

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

You didn’t respond nor move. He can’t see your panicked expression behind your mask, as you felt safer being hidden. He as nothing on you after all.

"I do have questions though, despite your silence. Why did you escape the flock? Were you scared of being rejected? I assure you, I do have interest in you. "

Once he asked that question, you immediately snorted. He looked at you confused as his smile dropped to a tilted head. You began to laugh with your hand on your head.

You faced him. "Well I don't."

You spoke for the first time, as you had a gentle voice. Ayato smiled. "So that is what your voice sounds like."

FUCK HE BAITED ME. HE KNOWS I DON'T WANT HIM AND HE USED IT AGAINST ME!

"My dear, you are well aware that I do want you, yes? You..have caught my interest. The idea that you are someone is very well capable of handling yourself is quite attractive to me, you seem to even have greater connections then I do, even to the archons themselves."

You stayed quiet, and stared at him. Ayato walked closer to you, with a gleeful smile. "Tell me what I can do to make you be mine. Be the women to marry me, and have my kids. Don’t start a war wit-"

A blade was to his neck. You were quick to putting your scythe to his neck to make him shut up. "Listen here Kamisato, and listen real good. Because I am saying it once. I don’t want children, and I don’t want to marry ANYONE. I am a women of freedom and I am not some birthing machine for your clan. Go find another woman."

Ayato had a glare down at you, as you were reluctant to be his wife, and have children with him. "I see...this will certainly be interesting then." He drew a sword of his own. "How about a duel...if I win, marry me, have a family with me, if you win, I leave you alone, fair?"

"No. Not interested. Never interested. Never in you." You pulled away and walked away from him. Ayato watched you walk away, as he had an interested smile on his face. "You'll have to break sometime soon, grim reaper~" He whispered to himself.

Later on that night, your palm was warmer, you removed the glove, thinking you hurt yourself, when in fact, the mark on your palm was golden.

This motherfucking man.

#genshin headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin drabbles #genshin impact #genshin angst #genshin scenarios #genshin fluff #ayato x reader #ayato x y/n #kamisato ayato #ayato sakamaki #genshin ayato #ayato headcanons #ayato imagines #ayato x you #kamisato ayato x reader #Ayato arranged marriage #Genshin arranged marriage

175 notes · View notes

mischivana · 6 months ago

Note

Hiiiiiii love your post they're really nice 👍

Would you want to do 44 with Piper x fem reader? Reader thought they weren't capable of love with never getting a crush on a boy but absolute gay panic when meeting Piper

But also internalize homophobia and fear of love as a whole.

I Love You and It Terrifies Me

Piper x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/her

Summary: You’ve always felt like you were incapable of love because you were never able to form a crush on any guys at school. But when yu return to camp that year, there’s a girl that makes you question everything.

TW: Gay panic, internalize homophobia, fear of love

Genre: Angst/Fluff

A/N: Im so sorry that this took forever, Ive been really busy with a lot of things recently. There are absolutely some spelling errors in here, and i sincerely apologize for that. also Beckendorf and Selina are alive because I say so >:)

Masterlist

All my life I’ve been told that I would find the perfect boy for me. My mother would always play dolls with me and in every game, the girl would always love the guy. Whenever I would hang out with my friends, our conversations would always divert to what boys we liked in our class. While my friends would giggle and fawn over the boys, I would sit and wonder why I couldn’t understand. And its not like I didn’t try. Every time I tried to convince myself of having a crush, I just couldn’t do it. But maybe I was just incapable of love. Im supposed to love a boy so if I cant, then I must be incapable. And that’s where I left it. For years.

When I got to camp, I thought maybe things would be different. maybe here would be the place where I couldn’t he boy that I loved. But it still never happened. But I was a kid of Hephaestus. Maybe that was why I couldn’t love. My dad had a hard time loving so maybe I did too. Thanks dad. But then I learned about my brother Beckendorf and his girlfriend Selena. So if it wasn’t my genes, then maybe it was just me. Maybe Iw as incapable of love. And maybe I just needed to be okay with that.

That was until Annabeth returned from the Dam with three new kids. Jason, the son of zeus. Leo, a new brother of mine. then Piper, a daughter of Aphrodite. I don't know what happened when I saw her but, something happened. She was so pretty, so beautiful. I sat next to her at the campfire to try and get to know her and she was great. she was funny and confident and pretty, she was really pretty. but she was dating Jason, which honestly I didn't blame her. he was conventionally attractive after all.

I left the campfire that night not noticing how I was blushing. how my heart fluttered and my stomach filled with butterflies/ maybe it was the adrenaline of making a new friend, someone I felt I really connected with. As time passed, me and Piper spent more and more time together. I considered her my best friend and I'm sure she felt the same. the only thing that set me off, I hadn't felt this way about anyone before, not even my closest friends before Piper. What was this feeling?

The truth hit me when the three left for their quest. When I was saying goodbye to Piper I gave her the biggest hug of my life.

"Please be safe Pipes, I don't want you coming home in shambles" I said worried as I continued to feel her around me.

"I'll try, I can't make any promises" she said playfully as she squeezed me back. I watched them leave and couldn't hide the worry on my face. My brother, Beckendorf, came to my side and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"I know that look, she'll be fine" his deep grumbly voice said to me. I looked at him with a puzzled look. "what look?" I asked him curiously.

He smiled back down at me and laughed before turning me and walking me back to the pavilion. "That look of when someone you love dearly is going off and you don't know if they'll be okay, but you just have to trust them. I know that look-" "He's worn it too many times" he was cutoff by his girlfriend Selina. They were the best relationship in camp. I pondered what he meant.

"Of course I care about Piper, she's my best friend" He looked at me like I was clueless. I kinda was cause I had no idea what he was talking about. I couldn't love Piper as more than a friend right? I was supposed to feel that for boys. Selina took me by the shoulders and walked me with her.

"let a love expert explain sweetie. You and my sister have a very special connection. You care about her, more than anything right?" I nodded at her as she sat us down on a bench. "why do you think that is?" "cause she's my closest friend?" she looked at me again and took a breath, mumbling something along the lines of "this is going to be harder than I thought" before clearing her throat and continuing.

"So y'know how me and your brother are dating?" I nodded again. "well, before that I felt a certain way for him and he did for me. I would always look forward to seeing him, I loved talking to him, he was my closest friend. Every time I though of him my heart felt fluttery and my stomach filled with butterflies. thats when I realized I loved him" I sat there and listened to her. It took me a moment and I realized, thats exactly how I felt for piper. Did I love Piper? could I even love another girl?

"But she's a girl...and I'm a girl...is that- is that allowed?" She looked at me shocked and gave me a reassuring smile. "Oh sweetie, it's more than okay. Why would you think not?" she asked me sincerely "my mom always told me that I could only date a boy... girls liked boys and boys liked girls" I said confused. She spoke up again, "well thats weather closed minded thinking isn't it?" I looked at the ground and pondered for a moment. Did I really love Piper?

After awhile I returned back to my cabin to think about it myself, at least thats how I framed it. I was actually really panicking. What did this even mean? What would my mom say? Is this why I never liked any boys from my school? How does Piper feel? Do I even like her or am I just kidding myself? This went on for almost two days.

I was sitting on my bed still pondering it when I heard the door open. It was my brother and Nico, Hades son. I knew Nico had a boyfriend but he was also from the 1920s so maybe thats why it was okay. Nico sat down on my bed and brought me into a conversation about it. Asking me how I felt for Piper and telling me what this all meant. It was all so scary, everything I've ever been taught by my mom about love was being rewritten before my eyes. By the end of it, I realized. I was in love with my best friend, and she was dating a guy.

When they returned I was the first one to run from the crowd and envelop her in a tight hug. She hugged me back and I looked at her. she was tried, exhausted, she had a few scars but she was still her.

"Oh my gods Im so happy you're safe you had no idea how worried I was about you" I said frantically once we stopped hugging "I'm happy you worry about me" she said with a small laugh.

A few days after they had returned, everyone had discussed everything. I eventually found out that Jason and Piper had broken up after they found out their whole relationship as basically built off a lie. I helped her a lot through this. I helped her find out who she was again and assured her that I would be there no matter who she decided to be with.

"Y'know Im really happy to hear that" Piper said to me as she continued to hold my hand on the bench. "Oh? and why's that?" I said with a small laugh. "Because I realized more about my feelings on that quest other than me and Jason being fake" she said kind of cautiously. I looked at her questioningly. I knew I loved her, but there wasn't a way that she loved me back the same way. But she grabbed my hand that was in hers and brought to her lips, giving my knuckled a soft kiss. I looked at her and knew. "Piper, I don't know what love means, it...it honestly kind of terrifies me.." I said looking from her to the ground with a soft blush across my face to match hers. She brought my gaze back to hers and pressed her forehead to mine "Ill be here when you figure it out" she said to m softly. In that moment, everything Id been told didn't matter. I loved her, and there wasn't a question to that.

A/n: Hi I know this isn't that good, honestly I didn't know how to fish it so this is the best your getting. In any case, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #piper mclean #piper x reader #gay girls #lesbian #piper mclean x reader #piper mclean x you

34 notes · View notes

clairedaring · 11 months ago

Text

Jom giving Khun Yai advices about the future - A scene from EP. 10 of I Feel You Linger In The Air

If you asked me my top 5 all-time favorite scenes from IFYLITA, I think this scene where Jom was scratching Yai's back while casually giving him advices about the future would definitely be in the top 5 (and at certain times I think I like this scene most.

One of the biggest grievances/qualms IFYLITA novel readers may have with the adaptation is probably series!Jom isn't as self-aware that he is an architect from the 21st century as book!Jom who was definitely depicted to be a little more sassy and constantly reminding himself that he's an architecture who has modern skills that can definitely be put to good use.

But this scene in EP. 10 of IFYLITA, corresponding with Chapter 11: Return Love to The Wind of the novel, is one of the brilliant moments where book!Jom completely comes to life through the portrayal of Nonkul Chanon.

Rather than dissecting the scene step by step, I've quoted this particular excerpt from the novel, paired with the gifset I made of the scene from ep.10.

Worried by the thought, I ask out a question. "Khun–Yai, since your family moved from Bangkok, it means the Luang has houses and properties in the province, doesn't he?"

"The province?" Khun–Yai turns his head.

I slap my mouth once in aggravation. Bangkok in this era is probably referred to as the Bangkok Region and the Capital. "Sorry. It was a mistake. What I mean is, did your family move from the Capital?"

Khun–Yai eyes me with mild suspicion but still answers, "Yes. My father owns plenty of lands in the Capital. My mother also has hundreds of lands in Thonburi and Nakhon Pathom. My grandfather transferred the ownership of the properties to her before she was born. Why do you ask?"

Oh…So, his parents have always been well–off. I take a deep breath and speak in all seriousness.

"Keep the lands safe. If not necessary, don't ever sell them. The prices of lands in Thonburi will be higher than gold in a short time. Capitalize the farms and paddy fields. If you don't gain much profit from renting them out, take care of them yourself. Hire workers and manage your own lands. As for the properties in the Capital, I hope you protect them with your life. Build residences or row houses for rent and collect the monthly rental fees. You will make more money than the salary of a civil servant."

I have thought it out with ambition. No matter what, I will not let Khun–Yai become a nobleman turning poor. He must have a business with a stably monthly income, not only a salary from any title. The row houses and everything will be designed in advance by me. I will do it for free, not charging a single coin. I am so engrossed in my plan that I don't notice Khun–Yai turning around and smiling.

"Do you know what you sound like?"

Seeing his weird, playful gaze, I ask right away, "What do I sound like?"

"You sound like a wife concerned about her husband's possessions, worried about how to gain profit from them," he stresses every word loud and clear.

"Khun–Yai!!!" I exclaim in shock, eyes widening.

"Yeah…?" Uggggggh. "Don't speak in such a sweet voice." My head hurts as if I have a migraine, but a contented grin paints Khun–Yai's face. "Please don't say that. It's inappropriate. Besides, I'm a man. I can't be a wife."

Bonus excerpt: "What is appropriate, then? Should I ask for your parents' blessings to have their son manage my possessions for the rest of my life?" "Khun–Yai, I'm begging you. Don't joke like this. I'm going to have a heart attack." My heart is fragile. "Please turn around so I can scratch your back." Seeing my serious expression, he relents and turns around, not forgetting to throw one last playfully flirtatious glance at me. I inhale and claw his back in annoyance. "Ohh…Poh–Jom, if you scratch that harshly, my back will break," Khun–Yai groans.

Note: Before the quoted excerpt, there's also an extensive part where Jom pondered on the consequences of WW2 and its effects on Thailand's civil servants or high-rank authorities and how he could helped Khun Yai. You can read the full novel here.

i just really like that although series!jom is a bit more clueless and deer-in-the-headlights than novel!jom, the series is still very careful with their adaptation and brought this scene to life where jom uses his 21th century knowledge to help take care of khun yai (ALSO MY BABY). like i just find this entire yaijom scene (that was cut from the TV version, outrageous) so damn cute and it's been months after the show has ended but my mind is still lingering in this scene.

#i feel you linger in the air #claire opens her goddamn mouth #ifylita #nonkul chanon #bright rapheephong

36 notes · View notes

imitationgame77 · 7 months ago

Text

When ART is quiet 1 [Artificial Condition]

ART has an enormous processing capacity. The first time Murderbot had a glimpse inside its wall, it says it had never directly interacted with anything this powerful before. So powerful that it had thought something like that only existed in fantasy. Murderbot has also said, “ART’s processing capacity made me look like I was moving in slow motion”.

Thus, when ART does not respond immediately it means something. The possible explanations include:

(a) ART is encountering an unusual and/or very difficult problem that requires extra careful deliberation

(b) ART is doing so deliberately

Here are some moments when Murderbot notes that ART is pondering for unaccountably long moments, or being quiet. ART’s silence might be more eloquent than words.

[Artificial Condition]

[1] After getting a vivid image of ART’s full power, Murderbot shuts down its feed, huddles down in a chair. But when ART tells it not to sulk, it gets provoked.

I was afraid, but that made me irritated enough to show it that what it was doing to me was not exactly new. I sent through the feed, SecUnits don’t sulk. That would trigger punishment from the governor module, and attached some brief recordings from my memory of what exactly that felt like.

Seconds added up to a minute, then another, then three more. It doesn’t sound like much to humans, but for a conversation between bots, or excuse me, between a bot/human construct and a bot, it was a long time.

Then it said, I’m sorry I frightened you

[2] They start watching World Hoppers together. ART has difficulties understanding the context and emotional tones in human media, but by watching them through Murderbot’s filters which includes Murderbot’s reactions as a part of data, it can process them for the first time.

When a major character died in the twentieth episode I had to pause seven minutes while it sat there in the feed doing the bot equivalent of staring at a wall, pretending that it had to run diagnostics.

[…]

After it was over, it just sat there, not even pretending to do diagnostics. It sat there for a full ten minutes, which is a lot of processing time for a bot that sophisticated. Then it said, Again, please.

[3] When ART realises that Murderbot does not watch media with SecUnits in it, ART wonders if it was because these are unrealistic. Murderbot explains:

“There’s unrealistic that takes you away from reality and unrealistic that reminds you that everybody’s afraid of you.” In the entertainment feed, SecUnits were what the clients expected: heartless killing machines that could go rogue at any second, for no reason, despite the governor modules.

The transport thought that over for 1.6 seconds. In a less sarcastic tone, it said, You dislike your function. I don’t understand how that is possible.

[4] ART starts asking (to Murderbot) personal questions. It wants to know why Murderbot wants to go to RaviHyral, and when Murderbot shuts itself down for four hours to evade answering that, ART just waits until it comes back online. It insists that they are now friends, and Murderbot should trust it.

“I’m not your crew. I’m not a human. I’m a construct. Constructs and bots can’t trust each other.”

It was quiet for ten precious seconds, though I could tell from the spike in its feed activity it was doing something. I realized it must be searching its databases, looking for a way to refute my statement. Then it said, Why not?

[5] At RaviHyral, Murderbot boards a public shuttle with its first-ever clients, and ART monitoring their safety. Then,

I told ART, If they fire at us en route, it’s not like we can do anything about it.

ART didn’t answer, but I knew it well enough by now to know that meant something. I said, You don’t have a weapons system. There hadn’t been one on the schematics. At least the schematics that ART made available in its unsecured feed. Do you?

ART admitted, I have a debris deflection system.

[6] Tlacey kidnaps Tapan, and uses her ComfortUnit to notify Murderbot where she was held.

ART said, Why is it showing you where your human is?

I said, Because Tlacey doesn’t want Tapan, she wants me.

ART was quiet as we went past the private shuttle slots toward the bigger, more expensive section at the end. Then it said, Retrieve your human and make Tlacey regret this.

--------------------------------

In Artificial Condition, ART was doing a solo cargo-haul mission. Whatever else it was doing, it had LOTS of processing power to spare. A strange rogue SecUnit turned out to be more of an intrigue that ART had expected when it decided to give it ride.

By [4] , Murderbot is gaining more understanding of ART, so as it suspects, the answer it probably (a). And [5] is obviously (b).

It would be interesting to know what processing ART was doing in cases of (a).

#the murderbot diaries #perihelion #murderbot #tmbd #artificial condition #meta

21 notes · View notes

the-stove-is-divorced · 6 days ago

Note

You have written DCU/SU, but what if you wrote SU/Invincible. Two brand new to the galaxy alien hybrid children whose world conquering parent fucked them up for life? They have so much in common

The way I immediately gasped. Σ(°ロ°) ! ! ! Behold my rambling.

I am itching to re-do a DCU/SU crossover honestly (use more DCU knowledge to avoid prev fanon I wrote, sigh), but that's a ramble for another day, but OMG? Steven and Mark are truly the galaxy alien hybrid children with the fucked up world conquering planets! My brain is buzzing. I think I can see myself going for a oneshot when they happen to meet each other and just end of vibing, talking through stuff only the other can relate to? Hating and loving their parents. Wondering how well they knew them, if at all. The weight of world on your shoulders. Steven, at the end of being a savior, with Mark on the start for much more fuckery. Odd for the both of them, I think, to see yourself in another person. I have no idea what POV I'd go for, I'd brush up on SUF some more?

I think I'd wanna avoid post-SUF Steven stumbling into / helping out / meeting Teen Team since that's too typical for me, I've read that routes similar to that for crossovers way too much. (￣︿￣)

Though, there's something so delicious about the idea that during the Nolan Vs Mark one sided parental smack down (s1), Steven, whose incidentally in the city, somehow manages to throw up a shield for the guy his age getting slaughtered. A New Player Has Entered the Game, lmao! Steven (post-SUF) who can't ignore this kid dying because what the fuck, Mark trying to stop his Dad and stopping this stranger because oh no Dad is going to kill you too, and Nolan because what the fuck who is this motherfucker intruding? Or, does Nolan recognize fellow colonizing empire, depending on how well known Gem-specific abilities like Light Project Shields are? No idea! Chewing on this, currently. Just crossover during one of the most pivotal plot moments for the show makes me cackle. Have your breakdown beat down with a third wheel ♡♡♡ The more unhinged the crossover idea the more I foam at the mouth.

Though there is something tickling me so bad about Steven and Nolan incidentally meeting, with Nolan recognizing a very crucial, high honored member of the now collapsed empire turned "soft", (because of him, specifically,) meanwhile Steven just seeing some hero staring into his soul, like okay sir, leave me alone? Like is Nolan too emotionally constipated to ask how does an empire turn its back to its origins, despite how "weak" that is, even though Nolan must have pondered the very same idea, at least for himself.

It just makes me question how the Great Diamond Authority and Viltrum Empire operated if they ever crossed, like, I'm sure they heard of each other. In Invader Zim, follow me, I think different colonizing empires ended up agreeing to split the universe and focused on different sectors to colonize, but I'm sure the Viltrum Empire wouldn't agree to something like that? Maybe they've never crossed paths? Making Steven's appearance, to Nolan, alarming? Only to find out about the peaceful era? Intrigued if Nolan does let it slip to the GDA/GoG what Diamonds do, as an opportunity to see how earth's forces operate against a colonizing threat, meanwhile they've been in their peaceful era and Steven is just trying to vibe. Cause while Steven and Mark are obvious parallels, Steven as a arguable symbol of an empire capable of ceasing, something unimaginable to Nolan, also intrigue me so bad.

Then there's also Greg and Debbie capable of bonding over having a relationship with someone who did so much more than you thought, and having to kinda deal with that. I don't know how well they'd get along, but the capability of understanding would be appreciated, I think?

#asks #i have NO idea if ill push through with a oneshot for this but its SO fun to think about??? tysm ♡#oh yeah and remembered the whole diff sector thing for Invader Zim was for one species who threw planets into suns #i think its fun to put viltrumites and diamonds/higher strength gems on similar power scale for the sake of intrigue #obliviously an era 2 peridot couldnt handle Nolan or Mark but someone like Jasper when they had ample resources pre-war #i think could be fun???#its too boring to me if viltrmutes are obliviously stronger?

10 notes · View notes

thefiresontheheight · 2 years ago

Text

1. The Roud Folk Song Index lists it as the 39th Child Ballad. Comparisons to be made to Type 425 in the Aarne-Thompson-Uther Index, under the entry “The Search for the Lost Husband.” TvTropes.com has more to say on the page titled “Shapeshifting Lover.” A story iterated upon in many forms. A young woman, almost always a woman, sometimes virginal, is wedded, or falls in love with, or is taken away by a man under some sort of curse. He is horse. Or a lindworm. Or a wolf. Sometimes only at night. Sometimes only when the fairies who cursed him make him so. He is a Beast, she must undo whatever evil makes him so, normally through a kiss, true love, wedding him, or, in some of the less sanitized versions, simply sex. 1. The first time they hooked up he cried afterwords, which she didn’t understand at the time. They were sophomores in college. It wasn’t her first time. It should have been casual. It was up until he cried in the morning. She felt so bad that she suggested they get breakfast together, when she had simply meant to leave. At breakfast he calmed, he talked about his life. Quiet, nerdy, hiding in his hoodie. There was something vulnerable there, and she liked it. She gave him her number after. 2. Later thinkers and writers have revisited this trope. Sometimes it is played straight, depicted on the screen by Disney. Sometimes this is (falsely I would argue) called Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes this is, it must be said, simply used for purposes of sex and titillation. I think, however, that the continued persistence of this motif in media, it’s emotional resonance, demands further explication of its longevity. What about this appeals to us in the modern day, when we (ideally) can no longer ascribe to it a moral of young women being forced to accept arranged marriages? 2. They’re a few months into their time dating, after long arguments about that label, when the crying returns. This time no longer after sex, but she feels the emotion is the same. You should leave me, he says. Break up. You should do it now before I hurt you, he says. And she, not wanting to point out that she is bigger and stronger than he is, gently asks why he says something like that? In there time together he has been nothing if not careful. Thoughtful. Kind. One of the most soft and charming people she knows. He cannot explain it in any satisfying way. He simply insists that there is something dark inside him. Something he has sought to deny far too long, and will not be able to deny forever. That if she stays she will be hurt, simply as a function of loving him. He will one day lose the fight against himself. She does not know what to do but hold him. 3. I think some of the appeal of this trope can be found in reference to another motif of our pop cultural mythos. That of the werewolf. We are used to seeing werewolves depicted from the viewpoint of the hunted. But there is perpetually the question of what such a transformation looks like from the viewpoint of the animal itself. A human transforming into a beast demands of a human audience that we consider what it must be like to monster. To be capable of hurting those we love. And yet, I at least wonder, if we are capable of hurting those loved ones, do we not still hope that they will love us as we transform? As we become different, monstrous in shape and utterly unknown even to them? 3. They graduate. Together. Move into an apartment above a Taiwanese restaurant. She gets a shitty job that has health insurance for them both. He does commission from home. It’s not perfect. There is some part of him he never shares and she does her best to make peace with that. To accept that wherever his mind goes when he is watching her put on a dress, do her make up, whatever he ponders while watching the women passing by the street outside, or after they have sex, that is something he has chosen not to share. But instead they share popcorn. And bills. And shitty inside jokes. And that time they got accidentally drunk at his mothers remarriage to Craig (fucking Craig amiright?) and got found by the staff of the hotel whose ballroom she had rented, having passed out near the punch bowl. It’s a life. It’s their life. She tries to give him space within it. 4. Consider again the Ballad of Tam Lin. The idea of Janet in the woods, holding onto her lover as wicked fairies transform him. To something ice cold. To something burning hot. To a horrible slimed thing writhing in her embrace. To a snarling wolf-monster, a beast of wicked claws and gnashing teeth. Who has, at one time or another, when circumstances reveal that which we keep hidden, felt like that? 4. She gets home unexpectedly early one spring afternoon in her late twenties. Janet from accounting somehow set fire to a microwave, which set off the sprinklers, and no one could get anything done that day. A small treat, and it validates her admittedly flash-judgment of Janet. And as she unlocks the door, flowers in hand, she finds him in front of the closet they share, and understands the secret that has been kept from her for almost a decade. 5. And then of course, the tales and legends end. Normally in the curse being lifted, the lover being returned to normal. Beast is a beast no more, the Lindworm is again a prince, Tam Lin may leave the woods a man. A simple ending to a simple story. But for us living in reality? Outside of the tidy constraints of fiction? Perhaps there is no ending. Perhaps we remain a beast, remain a wolf, remain cursed, and monstrous and strange. Perhaps we endlessly transform into new, and more twisted shapes, and have only hope that our loves will hold us nonetheless. That even if we become something that may hurt them, something they may not understand, they will still love us. 5. It is hard. It would be nice to say there are not challenges. She always thought she was bi, but the label of straight was easy, and she never had to examine it when she was with him. She keeps on stealing her dresses. There are good times too. Times where she looks at this woman still becoming, someone she had loved for a decade and still barely knows, and sees how brightly she smiles, and feels so proud. But it is above all else hard. The crying does not go away. Estrogen works wonders, but cannot stop dysphoria, and hurt, and pain. It is hard to love her. But she is trying. And when the fights over labels and new boundaries and shifting emotions break out, or the dread comes, or the weeping, she does what she can. She holds her partner, no matter the form she takes.

#long post #short fiction #short story #trans fiction

139 notes · View notes

katphantom69 · 1 month ago

Text

Happy truce to @ominousvibez

Hope you enjoy this fic. I used the "unusual mentor" prompt you had. It was fun to write

Danny sighs in frustration as he, once again, failed to freeze the apple he had infront of him. He grumbled a bit in frustration. He knew he had ice breath, he'd used it before in a dire situation, but now it seemed like the power eluded him for some reason.

"I just don't get it!" He huffed

"Frostbite said it would come to me eventually. To look "inward" and find the power. Whatever that means" he says to himself grumbling a bit.

He had been so focused on trying to freeze the darn piece of fruit that he didn't notice the danger till it was too late.

His ghostly breath suddenly alerted him to the threat as an ectoblast missed his his head by a couple inches.

He turned quick to face the attacker and came face to face with Skulker.

He flew back a couple of feet and looked at the robotic ghost unamused.

Skulker just chuckles at him.

"Nearly had you there whelp, you have to pay more attention to your surroundings. Else your gonna end up mounted on my wall." He says

Danny gets into a defensive stance

"Can't you see I'm busy? Don't you have anyone else to bother today?" He says as he charged up his ecto blasts

Skulker raises his hands defensively

"Now calm down whelp, I can't in good faith attack you in this weak state of yours" he says

Danny scoffs

"I'm not weak!"

"Then what was that pathetic display I just saw?" Skulker said with a huff

"Its like you're not even trying to access your core powers correctly"

"What would you know about that?" Danny asks annoyed but also curious.

Skulker floats down closer and looked at the young halfa

"You are just trying to use the power without meaning. Core powers are not simple like ecto blasts or the like. They are powered by one's emotions, by our very cores. To try and use one without any emotion behind it, is useless"

Danny listened but still felt a bit confused

"Can it be any emotion or is it a specific emotion?" He asked

Skulker paused to think on this

"It has to be a meaningful emotion. Something that gives you drive and a goal to go on. An example being me and my fire powers. My flames are fueled by the thrill of the hunt! The chase keeps me going forward, each day improving and upgrading to fulfill my goal on being the ghost zones best hunter. Another example being Ember and her flames. We have the same core element yet our motivation, our emotion to fuel it are vastly different. She is fueled by the adoration of others. Validation and affirmation of others twords her give her power to become the best rock star the zone has ever seen. You have to find that motivation and use it to achieve a goal. But before that, you must set a goal to achieve, do you have that?" He questioned.

Danny thought for a bit

"A goal huh?" He says as he ponders for bit

"Yes a goal whelp, what is it that you want to achieve more than anything?" Skulker asked.

Danny paused for a while to think. There were many goals he wanted to achieve, like graduating and going to college or becoming an astronaut. But those goals didn't really require him to use his powers, no, he had to go deeper. He knew he wanted to improve and get stronger in using his powers, the question now was why did he want to do that.

And he finally came to his answer.

He looked up at Skulker

"To protect" he says firmly

"Protect? Who?" Skulker asks with an eyebrow lifted in curiosity

"My friends, my family, the town...I want to protect them all. That is my goal." He says

Skulker nods a bit

"Good! Now take that goal, and the emotions that come with it, and use them to fuel your power."

Danny turned to face the apple and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath as he focused his energy and emotions in his core. He felt the love he felt for his family, his friends, his town, swelling up in his core. The icy chill emerging from the depths of his core, slowly filling up his body. He opened his eyes, which now had an icy blue glow to them, and then unleashed his icy breath onto the apple.

The apple and the makeshift stand it was on were soon covered in ice. Danny was in awe as it was all frozen solid. He paused for a second before jumping up in joy.

"I did it!! Yes!" He cheered before flying over to Skulker, who was looking a bit proud of the result.

"Your advise really worked!" He says

Skulker scoffs

"Of course it worked! Did you doubt me?!" He asked a bit unamused

Danny chuckles

"Not fully, but you gotta admit, receiving advise from an enemy is kinda sketchy" he says.

Skulker rolled his eyes a bit.

"I can understand that, but I do feel differently. For me, it is a simple favor to make my prey more interesting to hunt. After all, there is no trill to the hunt if the prey is weak and unable to fight back." He says grinning as he charges up an ecto blast

Danny grins back

"Well then, let me give you a token of appreciation for the help" he says as his eyes glowing blue.

"Let see how much you've truly learnt then whelp". Skulker says

Both soon launching at each other for another fight, but truth be told, they seemed to be having just a bit more fun than usual.

#phandom truce 2024 #christmas gift #my writings

10 notes · View notes

anabdaniels · 1 year ago

Text

Cowboytober Day 3- Lactation

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Female Reader

Word counting: 1.4k

Rating: 18+

Warning: GirlDad!Jack (needs its own warning, c'mon), nipple sucking, creampie.

Masterlist

No one had ever seen Jack so happy as he was at that moment, with his little baby sleeping in his arms. His precious little girl was so beautiful with her chubby little cheeks and soft arms. He could spend hours looking at that adorable little one, but a 2-month-old baby could exhaust their parents, and that was the case. Jack loved that little baby with all his heart, but that adorable chubby thing was draining the energy of both of you.

Carefully, he placed the baby on her crib, waiting a couple of minutes to guarantee that she wouldn’t wake up, and then leading to your shared bedroom. He found you beautifully lying down on the bed, seeming relaxed, which made him happy; he hadn’t a single clue of how exhausting the pregnancy and delivery must have been for you, but he would do the best he could to make the puerperium the easiest possible for you Does the baby need a changed diaper or be rocked to sleep? You didn’t even need to think about asking him to do it, he’d just show up with the baby changed or would appear telling you that the baby was asleep and ask if you wanted a snack or anything else. The little one awakes in the middle of the night? Daddy Daniels will prevent you from waking up and will take care of the baby, only disturbing you if the little one is hungry and needs to be breastfed.

And damn, the breastfeeding thing was a big question for him.

Jack wasn’t one of those disgusting man who thoughts that breastfeeding was gross or that was jealous of the baby, no, he was the best father and husband one could have. The thing was the side effects of breastfeeding; he couldn’t ignore how beautiful your breasts looked now and, since you started to have sex again, he was struggling with the irrational desire to suck your breasts and taste your milk.

He vanished all those thoughts from his mind and settled on the bed next to you, smirking when you nestled against him, clearly with other intentions than just sleep. He followed your rhythm, showering you with kisses and caresses, happy with the fact that you were feeling good and rested enough to want to have sex, and focused on giving you all the pleasure he could, especially when you felt comfortable settling on his lap and riding him.

Jack concentrated on what he was doing while kissing and gently nibbling your skin, but then his thoughts betrayed him once more when he got close to your breasts, more tempted than ever to fulfill his desire. You noticed that he seemed lost in his thoughts and caressed his hair.

“Something wrong?” you asked softly, looking at him. He pondered for a moment, not sure if he should tell you the truth, but he wouldn’t be able to keep hiding it.

“I need to confess something.” Jack said quietly, looking at your breasts for a moment without even noticing. You smirked and kept caressing his hair.

“What? You’re gonna tell me that you want to drink my milk?” you asked with a teasing smirk and saw Jack looking shocked by your precise hunch.

“How did you know?” he asked with a surprised tone.

“I hate to break your heart, but you’re not the most discreet person in this world. I’ve seen your eyes glued on my breasts currently.” You answered softly, not wanting to make him embarrassed or guilty.

“And you’re okay with it?” he asked with a little bit of hope.

“Actually, yes. If you want to, I don’t mind.” You answered softly, caressing his cheek. He smiled openly and planted a loving kiss on the curve of your neck, while holding your waist and settling you better on his lap, making you sigh and close your eyes, enjoying his mustache tickling your skin.

Jack didn’t beat around the bush before getting straight to the point, showering your breasts with kisses and involuntarily tightening his grip on your waist. When he finally sucked your breast and savored your milk, you listened to Jack letting out one of the most audibly pleasant moans you’ve ever heard. Involuntarily, you held his hair tight, enjoying where this was leading to; understanding the message, he proceeded with what he was doing, moving one hand to your thigh and leaving the other on your waist.

Despite the euphoria and excitement running through his body, Jack was still a caring gentleman and took care of being gentle while sucking your breasts, aware that they were probably more sensitive than the usual. He kept his hands busy caressing your skin while enjoying every single drop of milk that entered his mouth, not even noticing the sighs and hoarse moans he was letting out.

The much you knew your husband, you were aware that he was having a hard time not losing control while sighing heavily with his mouth full of your sweet milk, his hands sinking on your skin in a tight grip while you could feel his heavy warm breath against the sensitive skin of your chest. The more focused he was on tasting every drop of milk he could, it didn’t prevent him from rubbing his face on your skin just like a kitten wanting some scratches, you certainly didn’t had the heart to resist at that adorable view, letting both of your hands caress his soft brown hair, and it seemed to have taken him a step close of lose his composure. At this point, Jack was a complete mess; whimpering and moaning shamelessly without moving his mouth a single inch away from you, now his arms were wrapped tight around your waist as if to make sure you weren’t going anywhere, and you certainly couldn’t ignore his cock twitching inside you.

Jack was way too focused on all that, feeling his whole body tensing up and his breath getting heavier at each passing moment. He sucked on your breast once more, moaning deeply at the very moment he felt that marvelous sweet taste invading his mouth, it was becoming too much for him to handle: The soft sighs and moans you were letting out, the little involuntary moves of your hips, your hands caressing his hair and scalp, the feeling of your soft warm breast on his mouth, and the heavenly taste of your milk on his tongue. All that was driving Jack insane, making him keep an arm tight around your waist while his free hand caressed your other breast. He wasn’t exactly proud of it, but he couldn’t help but let out a hoarse moan while cumming deep inside you as he savored that last taste of your milk. His body relaxed after it, and his breath was still a bit irregular, his nose crushed against your breast, while he kissed your nipple softly a couple of times, making you smile and caress his cheek.

When Jack finally looked up, you sure were surprised by the view of his cheeks slightly red and he looked slightly embarrassed, which, talking about Jack Daniels, was an extremely rare event, you didn’t even know that that man could blush or get embarrassed.

“I might’ve got a bit carried away.” Jack chuckled and planted a kiss on the middle of your chest.

“A bit?” you asked in a mocking tone, raising your eyebrows.

“A man can’t enjoy his wife’s milk without being judged on these days?” he asked with squinted eyes while laying you down on the bed.

“You can, for sure. But I’m wondering what I’m gonna win with all that?” you asked with a teasing tone.

“Don’t worry, sugar. You know that I’d never be in debt with my lady.” He answered, already back on his cocky manner.

“Due to recent events, I’m worrying that maybe it ain’t true.” You knew that you’ve hit the right spot on his ego when Jack ran his tongue over his lips, looking at you with a serious expression, as if proving that you were wrong was a matter of life and death.

“You should watch this pretty mouth of yours, honeybee.” He said quietly while running his fingers down your neck “Last time you were so bold I got you pregnant.” Jack raised his eyebrows softly and leaned forward to kiss you passionately, making you aware that the night only would be done when he proved, probably more than once, that he wouldn’t have any debt left with you.

Cowboytober Masterlist

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #agent whiskey #agent whiskey fic #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #jack daniels #jack whiskey daniels #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #kingsman: the golden circle #pedrostories

123 notes · View notes

sasster · 1 year ago

Text

Walking on Glass

And I do solemnly swear that this is the last set of new trolls I make for a long while.

So what’s the Colmea guy’s deal, anyway? [doc]

-- “Now you’ve really done it.” The child, and she can’t be more than five sweeps old, smiles around a juicebox from her perch. “He’s not going to be happy about this one little bit.” Her warning fills you with just enough dread that it roots you in place.

The he in question is, for the short time that you’ve known each other, very particular of the fungal colonies that throng throughout the lab like a great big web. Some of them in larger terrariums cobbled together and the others in their much smaller quarantines. He was more protective of these small quarantined batches than he was of anything else, even the aquarium that sits nearly ceiling to floor and across the back wall of the lab, housing a handful of species of jellyfish, with the largest, and need for such ample volume, being his overgrown lusus. Nemopilema nomurai, he once whispered into your ear when he caught you staring at her.

She is quite the daunting thing, with what must be a ten or fifteen-foot diameter and countless feet of long sprawling tentacles, tendrils, and tangles of some sort of marine fungus weaving around and within them. He never offered a scientific name or approximate for it, and to be fair, you never asked.

Conversations with the man always centered around his research, his precious colonies, that you’d been helping him with. The science he always mumbled, mostly to himself, was difficult to parse on a good day, on a bad day he stopped pretending to try altogether.

Your role, as far as he was concerned, as far as you understood, was only a very small part.

A collective consciousness. The only colony that survived the interaction with your mutation to the point that you started to become one. Once again, the science of it all was lost on you, something about parasitic symbiosis or some other, but the piece of it he’d gotten into you somehow took root and you’d found yourself actually talking to it.

Making decisions with it.

It was only natural you’d want to get a closer and better look at it, right?

“It was a mistake.” Is all you can manage, staring at the ground that almost glitters with the way the ambient lights of the tanks shine off of the glass of one of the smaller, now shattered, terrariums that litters the floor. Many of the stray shards lance through the colony in places that look fatal even to the untrained eye.

“It was a mistake.” She mimics, not quite getting the cadence right, but the road work is there, so there’s maybe a future in ventriloquism for the kid. “I think he’s gonna feed you to Big Mama.” She indicates the tank with the massive jellyfish in it, punctuating the thought with the insufferable sound a straw makes when it reaches the end of a drink.

Colmea couldn’t be that unreasonable, could he?

As if summoned, and you don’t think she sent for him, the door opens as soon as the fear creeps up on you.

There is a severe way that the doctor has about carrying himself, a stern expression attached to whatever it is he lets his gaze fall on. Right now that is solidly on you. The gravity of the situation and the weight of the girl’s words leave you incapable of removing yourself from the scene of the crime, after all. You’d only reached a harmless hand in to touch it, how could you predict this outcome?

“It was a mistake.” You whisper desperately as he fully enters the room, the picture of serenity, taking in the scene before him. He does not regard you or what you’ve had to say for yourself.

Even if the colony was not sliced through as it was, the abrupt displacement from its aquatic habitat would have done enough on its own to paint a grim scene, splattered across the floor like an abstract painting. He surveys the damage quietly, a ponderous god, visage poisoned by the blue and pink glow of the lights within neighboring tanks. Now his gaze flits about from shard of glass to shard of glass, as though looking for answers in the mosaic they make up on the floor.

Everything in the lab has become remarkably still, even the girl in the corner has ceased vacuuming the bottom of the juice box in favor of savoring the silence that smothers the room, deafening even over the bubbling of the surrounding tanks.

Colmea does not rush in, ready to collapse to the floor and mourn the loss of his experiment, instead he is carried further into the room by slow and deliberate steps, each one a soft tap against linoleum that crushes the glass beneath it. The answers to questions that he does not bother voicing slotting into his mind as he advances, and if those answers change any part of his expression, which you suspect it doesn’t, it goes unnoticed when his contemplative steps take him into the shadow of his colossal lusus.

Far too long passes before he is standing directly in front of you. Very briefly, a crack in his veneer provides a view into the ever-feared high blood rage bubbling beneath the surface.

“Myriad,” he addresses the girl, still up on her perch by the edge of the jellyfish enclosure. “The colony?”

Myriad makes a face like she is seriously concentrating, an expression you’ve come to understand means she is reaching into her mind to find her natural connection to the fungal colonies that surround her. Not as a member of the collective, but as an eavesdropper. Her game goes on for too long and it is clear that she is only playing up the dramatics, reveling in your dread, when the pensive god clears his throat.

“Dead as a doornail!” She reports, cheery as she was when she delivered her taunts moments before his arrival. It should hurt, but you already knew. You felt it, a part of you, die the second the tank hit the floor. “No survivors, wiped out!”

The ghost of something horrific crosses behind his eyes.

He nods.

His demeanor does not betray him and there is no warning when he strikes, just the stinging feeling left behind by a backhand that causes you to lose your balance. With a hideous crunch, your knees fall into the ruin below, the salty remnants from the enclosure mingles with the fresh wounds and sends a significant shock through your system. So significant in fact, that you make neither a move nor a sound.

Colmea shakes his hand loose, the anger that boils just beneath but never quite breaking the surface places a dangerous dose of malice behind his eyes.

“Myriad, find me a broom.” He commands, and as soon as it leaves his mouth, her feet hit the ground right behind you with a crunch that makes you wince. A stifled giggle followed by her plodding along tells you it was an intentional assault on her part.

His hand is wrapped up in your hair before the door closes behind her and he lifts you up to meet his eye line, all the while winding more and more of it up until he finds scalp, as though he is handling something that weighs about the same as a stuffed animal.

There is no growling, no deep orange eyes signaling danger, just a furrowed brow and a deep sigh. “I had such high hopes for you.”

“I,” you start to plead your case, tears welling at the corners of your eyes at the realization that your mutation did not make you special enough, but he does not give you the opportunity to continue. Instead, your face is acquainted with the glass of the aquarium with such force that it rattles the base of the enclosure and causes some of the smaller species of jellies inside to send off bright sparks of light, in hopes of startling whatever predator they assume has invaded.

All they really succeed in is disorienting you all the more, your face making contact a second and third time before stars start to decorate your vision and the edges begin to blur. Something cracks, and it is not the glass.

Still, the angered god does not growl or snarl. Nor does his reflection, warped by a myriad of things between the forming concussion and the glass of the aquarium, broadcast anything beyond his mild indifference.

Your face hits the glass a few more times before the girl returns from her quest and he finally relents, dropping you to the floor with a sigh. In the same moment, the stars in your vision become angry black splotches, eagerly rushing out to meet those blurred edges.

#colmea #myriad #long post #coko writes sometimes

49 notes · View notes

themuse-if · 11 months ago

Note

I was pondering classic angst asks that might fit the university setting I think this one lines up okay.

What's ROs’ reaction to the mc being dressed up for a date with someone else and asking them how they look?

And how do they react when MC comes home in tears because their date stood them up or ended poorly?

Anyways that's my ask thanks for taking the time to read it, hope you're doing good!

Hello! I love that I'm getting to this ask after creating the other non RO hallmates I think it'll make it even more fun for you guys to visualize MC's date as one of them! Let's say that they're in the friendship/very early crushing stage for this one.

Roxanne/Robbie

Before the date: *sees MC coming out of their room* Well don't you look like your off somewhere special? *quirks their brow and smirks while waiting for MC's response* Oh, I see. So who's your hot date? August? Shit MC look at you going out with tall, dark and mysterious. Be sure to dish all the dirty details later. *gives MC a quick wink and walks away*

After the date: *is hanging out in the common room, then sees MC come in looking rather upset* Hey MC, you good? Do you want to talk about it somewhere more private? *walks MC to their room* Ok now that we're alone tell me what happened. *MC tells them that it was just a shit date and not at all what they pictured, they just didn't click and MC feels dumb and embarrassed* Is that all? I thought I was gonna have to beat their ass for being rude or standing you up? Well MC I know you must be feeling crappy, but it could have been a lot worse. And trust me when I say there are plenty of people just waiting for you to look their way. And you're bound to feel that spark with one of them. *gives MC a telling and heated look*

Joleen/Johnny

Before the date: *sees MC heading out all dressed up* Hey you, where are you headed? *MC ask them why they want to know* You just look really nice so I was curious. *MC tells them about their date with Kaden* A date? With Kaden? Oh that's...cool. Have a nice date. * leaves MC with and awkward wave and a smile*

After the date: *runs into MC on their way to the dorm practice rooms* Hey MC, how'd it go? *MC continues to rush past them into the music room* Ok... *follows MC into the music room* So I guess it wasn't the best date you've ever had... *awkward laugh* Do you want to talk about it? *MC tells them there isn't much to talk about since Kaden didn't show up* Shit, that really sucks. Did he at least call or text you with an explanation? *MC shakes their head* So he's an asshole. That's not your fault. *MC nods still looking frustrated* Do you want to work through what your feeling? *MC looks at them confused, Jo hands them the drumsticks and sits them behind the drumkit* Just fuck around and let it all out. I know from lots of experience that you'll feel so much more free if you just express how your feeling in a cathartic non harmful way.

Delphine/Desmond

Before the date: *sees MC on their way out of the residence hall* Look at you. *friendly grin* Well don't you clean up nice. Let me guess off to a date? *MC grins and tells them with whom* Kiana, oh that's nice, she seems sweet. I'm sure you two will have a nice time. Don't let me keep you form your date. I'll see you around.

After the date: *finds MC in the common room kitchen eating a tub of ice cream alone* Ah...so...how was the date? *MC holds up the half eaten tub of ice cream and shrugs* Yeah that was a stupid question. Well what happened to get you knee deep in the cookies and cream? *MC tells them their date was ok but just not what they had wanted, it seemed like Kiana's mind was elsewhere* Well it's 100% their loss. If they couldn't realize what a great person they had right in front of them then its not worth wasting your time. Hey pass me a spoon, let me make sure you don't eat that whole thing alone. *they both start cracking up*

Rina/Ren

Before the date: *sees MC walking through the common room* Hey MC, you look nice. *MC tells them about their date with Monica* Oh Monica I have a few classes with her. Her form is fantastic. I think she's as bored in contemporary as me though. Oh sorry for rambling...well have a nice date. I'll see you later.

After the date: *sees MC in the hallway rushing to their room* Uh, are you ok? You look a bit upset... *MC tells them that Monica stood them up* Wow that's really shitty. Have they said anything? *MC tells them that they texted Monica and it turns out she was practicing, she said she just forgot* Damn that's just...wow. Forget about her, she obviously isn't worth your time. I'll...uh...talk to you later MC, don't be too down. *R sees Monica the next day in class and endlessly glares at her before telling her off after class*

Everly/Everett

Before the date: *sees MC rushing out of the hall* Where are you rushing off to? *notices how nice MC looks* Oh shit never mind, you're obviously about to go on a date. And if you aren't you should be. *MC chuckles and tells them they're right and that their date is Kaden* Well I hope you have a good date...but if you don't you could always come have more fun with me. *gives MC an exaggerated wink, they share a laugh before parting ways*

After the date: *hears a knock at their door, opens it to find MC looking visibly upset* Come on in. Looks like you've had an eventful evening. Go on spill the beans. *MC tells them that their night was not eventful at all since Kaden didn't even show and now he isn't responding to MC's texts* Wow I honestly haven't really talked to him that much, but I thought he seemed pretty ok. Turns out he's piece of shit who doesn't have the human decency to treat others with basic respect. *Eyes go wide with mischief* Hey MC, why don't we get a little...revenge? *cheeky grin*

Karla

Before the date: *sees MC heading off campus* Hey MC, how're you? Haven't seen you around lately. *MC catches up with them and tells them about their date with Ishara* I don't think I've met them yet but I'm sure you'll have a good time. If nothing else you look fantastic so they'll be drooling over you in no time. Well I won't hold you up, good luck.

After the date: *MC texts them letting them know that their date was shit, it didn't even happen since Ishara didn't show, Reyes give MC a call* Hey...so have they said anything? *MC says no* Have you said anything? *MC says no* Well you probably should, maybe something happened. They might have a reason for not showing up. *MC shoots Ishara a quick text, and they reply telling them how sorry they are, they had food poisoning and have been in and out of the bathroom all day* If they're telling the truth then that's a pretty good excuse. It's up to you to give whether or not you want to give them a second chance though.

Faye

Before the date: *sees MC heading off campus* Well, well, well aren't you looking spicy MC! Who's the lucky person taking you out tonight? *MC laughs and asks how they knew* I mean look at you! You look like you're ready to stop traffic! You still haven't told me who though... *MC tells them it's Jacob* Hmm I think I've seen him around, he's a studio arts major right? *MC says yes* Well you have to let me know how it goes! Have fun! Don't give your date a heart attack looking so hot. *fans themself, and shares a laugh with MC before parting ways*

After the date: *MC texts Faye letting them know their date didn't go as planned, Faye tells MC she's coming over* So how're you holding up? *MC tells them that it wasn't even that bad there was just no spark it felt like a date with their brother* Oh ok, you can't force yourself to have feelings for someone. When you know, you know, right? Why don't you just take some time to figure out what it is you're looking for. And once you've figured that out then you should put yourself back out there.

Sebastien

Before the date: *sees MC heading off campus, stops dead in his tracks and give MC a long look up and down* You look amazing... Are you meeting someone? *MC tells him about their date with Kaden* Well I hope he knows how lucky he is. I don't want to make you late so... Have a good night MC, let's catch up later.

After the date: *MC calls Seb sounding really upset, he's over to their dorm in no time* How the fuck does he have the audacity to stand you up!?! He obviously isn't worth one second of your time. Did he at least try to make up some sort of excuse? *MC says no, and that he hasn't been responding to their texts* Listen MC *Seb grabs MC by the shoulders at meets them at eye level* you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who will cherish you and value every opportunity to be in your presence. *pulls MC into his arms* Just know that you shouldn't close yourself off because of this.

Maxine

Before the date: *Max is sitting on MC's bed watching them get ready for their date* What about that top, you know the one that really compliments your eyes. Yes, that one! You look great! When are you meeting Kaden? 30 minutes! Well what are you still doing here you should head out or you'll be late. *MC starts to head out* You have to tell me everything later! Good luck! *MC leaves, Max heaves a heavy sigh*

After the date: *is chilling in her dorm room reading when MC storms in* Aren't you back a bit soon... weren't you supposed to do dinner and a movie? *MC tells her he didn't show up* What do you mean he didn't show up? Did he say anything? *MC quietly says they waited for for 2 hours without a single word* YOU WAITED FOR 2 HOURS! AND HE'S GHOSTING YOU! *Max takes a deep breath and gets scary quiet* I'm going to beat that posh little pricks ass. Just wait until I see his stupid face he's gonna regret this. *MC starts to laugh* What the fuck why are you laughing? *MC says that it doesn't matter since they have a friend like her* Whatever I'm still gonna beat his ass. *MC starts to crack up feeling thankful for such a caring friend*

Silas

Before the date: *sees MC in the common room while he's posting the weeks events on the bulletin board* Hey MC, am I gonna see you at game night later? *MC tells him they won't be around since they have a date with Monica* Oh, I should have guessed since your all dressed up. You look nice by the way. *clears his throat* Well have fun on your date.

After the date: *Sees MC trying to sneak through the common room unnoticed with tears running down their face* Hey MC...are you ok. *MC tells them in a hushed tone that Monica never showed up that they were practicing, forgot about the date and didn't even apologize* Oh wow...ok. I'm not sure if I should get caught up with my advisee's love life, but just know that this isn't about you. Lots of people are into you trust me a few have come to me looking for advice. Monica skipping out on you is their loss. Keep your chin up ok. Come find me if you need to talk...about anything. That's what I'm here for right. *give MC a goofy grin and a friendly pat on the shoulder*

#interactive fiction #interactive if #twine if #twine interactive fiction #themuse if #if: themuse #extras

28 notes · View notes

butterflydm · 2 years ago

Text

wot reread: towers of midnight (chap 39-49)

spoilers for towers of midnight

Aviendha! We haven't seen her since she went off without saying goodbye to Rand in TGS. Anyway, she has arrived in the Three-Fold Land and she's pondering ideas about home and softness. She thinks about how she's come to enjoy the baths and fine dresses that Elayne shared with her in the wetlands, despite wanting to believe she only wants the life that she grew up with.

2. As she makes camp for the night, she thinks about how the Aiel (and herself) will need to come back to the Three-Fold Land after the Last Battle, that the wetlands are too soft for them. As she drifts to sleep, there is an older woman there, at her campsite. She says that her name is Nakomi and she asks to share Aviendha's campsite. Nakomi asks if Aviendha is one of those who went west in search of the Car'a'carn and asks about him and about the wetlands. When Aviendha bursts out that the wetlands make them weak, Nakomi is startled. She points out that the Three-Fold Land was meant to punish them, test them, and shape them -- so whatever they are currently facing in the wetlands seems to be what they were being shaped for. So why does Aviendha insist that they must return to the Three-Fold Land after the Last Battle, since the 3FL has accomplished its purpose? They would be punishing themselves for no reason, because they will have met their toh.

3. I do actually enjoy this scene a lot but it really feels like Aviendha questioning all this should have happened earlier in the series, lol. She bound herself into a relationship with three wetlanders (well, Elayne and Rand; she still barely knows Min, because they just spent a month avoiding each other while living in the same place), all the while planning to leave the wetlands after the Last Battle? How exactly was that going to work? Narratively, I feel like this emotional crisis should have happened earlier.

4. Thinking over his grief over Hopper's final death and his failure with Slayer in his head, Perrin forges a hammer and Neald & some of the Wise Ones, working together, turn it into a Power-wrought weapon while Perrin makes it. He also finally embraces the idea of being a leader because 'someone else might do it wrong', essentially, lol. Like using an army to pursue a personal vendetta, you mean? Like allying with invaders and slavers and choosing to sell women into slavery, you mean? Like planning to disband said army after your personal goals have been achieved but before the world has been saved, you mean?

Anyway, Perrin has finally decided that he will lead these people to the Last Battle (like they want) instead of sending them away so... I guess that's nice. Finally caught up to every other one of the main protagonists, lol. It really is so weird how Perrin is the one who gets called the responsible one and he acknowledged his responsibilities back in TSR but then, after that, he ran from his responsibilities so much longer and harder than either Rand or Mat.

He also seems to have finally gotten over his petty jealousy of Wil al'Seen? So that's nice. Poor Wil has been NOTHING but loyal and supportive for as long as he's marched under Perrin's banner, yet Perrin has thought such mean-spirited things about him.

5. Berelain also assumes here that Rand is planning to marry Elayne, though she thinks of it more in tactical political terms than how Perrin was talking about it. So, again, there's a general "yeah Rand and Elayne are probably getting married" vibe going around Perrin's camp so I am going to be Very Doubtful that Tam knows nothing of Elayne when he first meets Min in Tear back in TGS.

6. Perrin finally thinks here that he failed Aram -- not by letting him pick up a sword in the first place, but by scooping him up in his wake and then shoving him away and ignoring him. Took him long enough to realize that it wasn't the sword's fault. He also knows that he can't go back and fix what he screwed up with Aram, but he can try to do better going forward.

...no thoughts from him on how to 'make good' with what he did with selling two hundred women into slavery, though. Maybe he feels like Rand making an alliance with the Seanchan will 'let him off the hook' for that.

7. Once again, the Whitecloaks and Perrin's army are on the brink of attacking each other. But this time it's because Perrin suspects that they're all about to get attacked by Shadowspawn and they do, and they fight together instead of against each other, etc. Battle scene. (where did the Shadowspawn come from? A Waygate, maybe? They can't go through Gateways -- Perrin thinks maybe a Portal Stone). When Byar compares this to what Perrin did in the Two Rivers, Bornhald realizes the contradiction in the logic of what he'd believed about the Two Rivers' battle: if Perrin has the command of this many Shadowspawn already, it's nonsensical for him to kill them off in order to trick the Whitecloaks (with their similar or lesser numbers) into joining him. After the battle is over, Galad names his sentencing of Perrin -- pay 500 crowns to the families of the two Whitecloaks that he killed, and fight in the Last Battle. When Byar realizes that Perrin is 'getting away' with all the crimes he's imagined up for him, he tries to kill Perrin and is killed by Bornhald before he can strike the blow.

8. Being bonded to Egwene is letting Gawyn inside the strong facade that she puts up in front of everyone else, and it's bringing him a lot of comfort to feel how emotional she still can be, under the serene mask. And Egwene and Gawyn have a frank conversation, all the more frank because they can sense the true emotions under each other's words. When Egwene suggests that a bed be brought for him in her antechamber for him to sleep in, he counters with suggesting that they can married. Gawyn also agrees with Egwene, very strongly, that something needs to be done about the Seanchan -- he's seen the assassins they sent after the Aes Sedai, witnessed the attack on the White Tower, and met some of the victims who have been freed from their cruelty. Then, just in case he needs them later, Gawyn takes the three ter'angreal rings that gave the Bloodknives their power.

9. Lan can feel the difference in the distant mind connected to his and wonders if Nynaeve has taken his bond from Myrelle. He always did his best to ignore Myrelle's feelings, but the connection feels different now, with a familiar "passion and kindness". As he passes through a fortress, he is recognized by a grandson of the queen of Kandor, who mentions that Nynaeve had said Lan might try to pass unnoticed. And here, at last, Lan gives up the notion of 'riding alone' and tells him that he will raise the banner, and any who want to join him in the ride to the Blight may come.

10. Galad here notes that it's kinda silly to have Aes Sedai as your allies and then refuse to let them heal you. Yes. Yes, that would be extremely foolish. Galad is another character who feels like a foil to Mat -- they both fell in with groups that are extremely hostile to Aes Sedai, despite having family that would get hurt by those groups (Morgase and Elayne vs Bode). So Galad thinking this here (and allowing himself to be healed) feels like a very direct contrast against something that is coming up in the near future, where Mat is going to decide to be extremely foolish.

But Galad realizes here (or begins to realize) how spending time with a group hostile to Aes Sedai HAS poisoned his mind against them, even though that was not his intention in joining them -- he thinks about how the idea of being healed wouldn't have made him uneasy when he was younger. And that's just what we saw with Mat too -- even if his intention with Tuon is to try to convince her that channeling isn't evil, spending time around her and listening to her spew her poisonous thoughts affects him even when he's trying to avoid it. It's just like the corruption of Mashadar/Shadar Logoth (which was always a metaphor for extreme paranoia and hate). Aridhol - the Children of the Light - the Seanchan... all these groups are working out of the same playbook of stoking paranoia and fear and then using that to gain control of people who are emotionally vulnerable. And it's something that's pretty common IRL too.

But combining Gawyn and Galad's realizations in TGS/ToM does feel kinda like the books have provided a road map of how Mat can emotionally pull himself away from the Seanchan and his toxic relationship with ~Fortuona~ once he wakes up enough to realize that she's not willing to ever grow as a person -- you have to realize that you DO need to make a choice that your morals can live with (can't straddle a fence forever) and realize that spending time around people who are constantly attacking and demeaning your loved ones can potentially screw with your head a lot. Child Byar is the obvious analogue for Tuon in this specific example of Galad vs Mat, and I've talked about Elaida and Tuon's similarities in earlier posts. Byar, Elaida, and Fortuona are all ~true believers~ in their individual terrible philosophies and do have a genuine 'sincerity' and 'conviction' in their zealotry for what they believe in plus share a willingness to turn to violence when they are challenged. I'm not sure if Perrin ever gets a whiff of Fortuona (don't recall), but I wonder if she would smell rabid to him, the way that most of the Whitecloaks do.

11. After they heal up from the battle, they all Travel to Andor, near Whitebridge. Morgase regrets that Faile has taken the reveal of her identity so hard and now Morgase is in a strange half-place where she is no longer a servant but not a queen either. *sigh* It's frustrating that her marrying Tallanvor is still basically forced along by Lini. Let her relax into a relationship first, sheesh. Anyway. Morgase's plan is to offer to be Elayne's advisor.

12. The chapter ends with Perrin getting to have a private reunion with Mat. lol, Perrin and Mat have barely interacted on page in the book series (especially compared to Rand and Mat) and yet Sanderson goes out of his way to let the two of THEM get a private reunion. This is genuinely the first time when Perrin has felt like an author's pet, at least for me (though I do think that Jordan would have spent considerably less page time on Perrin than Sanderson did, this is the first time when that extra Perrin time has felt like it came out of nowhere and was put in just so that Perrin could have a special treat, in this case, the treat of getting Fun Times With Mat for a couple of pages ... though actually, now that I think about, Perrin getting to be the Special One who gets to witness Rand's epiphany on Dragonmount first-hand feels like it falls into this category as well, of Perrin getting Special Treats because he's Sanderson's Particular Favorite and he wants Perrin to experience All The Cool Moments).

Why is Mat here in Whitebridge? Didn't he promise to stay in Caemlyn for a month? Has it already been a month? How did Mat even know that Perrin would be in Whitebridge? An off-screen strategic use of the color swirls, in a way that Mat has never used them before? It's just so random that he's here rather than him and Perrin meeting up for the first time once Perrin arrives in Caemlyn.

Interestingly (to me), Mat has continued to regress emotionally -- he's pulled a childish prank and wants Perrin to join him in it. Also interesting: Mat's hat is completely unfamiliar to Perrin, which speaks again to how quickly and thoroughly Perrin was able to suppress the color swirls compared to Mat and Rand. Anyway, Mat quickly hugs Perrin, arranges to meet him later, and 'borrows' one of the Asha'man to help him hop around (Neald).

Also, we know from Gawyn's chapter that there are ex-damane and ex-sul'dam wandering around the Royal Palace and yet... I don't think we ever get a scene where Mat runs across them the way that Gawyn did. Again, it feels like the narrative is sheltering Mat from seeing the full truth about the Empire that he is tying himself to, making it easier for him to play pretend that he can reason Tuon into being a decent person.

13. Elayne enjoys the warmth of her bond with Rand, after having learned the good news from Egwene that Mesaana was taken care of. It's been a week since Auldra's test (which means no more bed rest, so it was literally just a SINGLE CHAPTER where she was carried around in a bed; being carried around in a bed is the new "Elayne takes too many baths" where fandom exaggerates how much something actually happened) and Elayne has pressed every bellfounder in Andor into making more 'dragons'. Elayne deals with some politics re: the claiming of the Sun Throne. When Birgitte brings someone in unannounced, Elayne assumes that it's Mat (so Mat has permission to come into Elayne's private chambers without being formally announced). But it is Galad instead, and she is very startled to see him. And then even MORE startled to see her mother, alive and well. Morgase lets her know that she has formally renounced the throne, so no worries there, and Elayne and Galad share some information about how Galad became Lord Commander of the Whitecloaks and how the Succession went for Elayne. She invites them to a private dinner later.

14. When Elayne is alone in the room with Morgase (and Birgitte), she tells Morgase about her pregnancy and that Rand is the father. A frustrating way about how this story was set up by Jordan (and @markantonys and I have talked a lot about how this bothers us!) is because Min ~conveniently~ got black-out drunk and so was able to tell all of Caemlyn about Elayne's pregnancy but conveniently 'unable' to tell Rand, is that the pregnancy has been completely isolated to Elayne's storyline and hasn't had any impact on Rand. Which really makes it feel more like Elayne was made pregnant ~for the Dragon's Legacy~ than anything else, especially because of how Jordan immediately started having the people around Elayne treat her as a vessel for her future children rather than a person who was pregnant (even though they didn't know the kids were ~legacy babies~). Again, something that Jordan started but that Sanderson has unfortunately continued. I'm hopeful that (if the show should get that far) the show would do things differently with this storyline, because Rand has already been allowed to have "I could be a dad" related feelings in the show.

15. At night in the Three-Fold Land, Aviendha studies Rhuidean and thinks of the three ways that Rand 'broke' the city. He took away the shrouding mists surrounding it. He brought water to it (the lake is named Tears of the Dragon, Tsodrelle'Aman). And the final way is that he made the cultural impact of the city profoundly different by sharing the truth of the Aiel's past with all the Aiel, so it is no longer something that is a test for Wise Ones and clan chiefs. And so she thinks about how there is a strength in accepting change, and not clinging to tradition for tradition's sake alone. She realizes that her plan of retreating back into the Three-Fold Land never meshed with the other desires of her heart -- she wants Rand to survive the Last Battle but if he does, he will live in the wetlands. And Elayne is her first-sister who she loves and does not want to abandon, and plans to be sister-wives with, and Elayne would also live in the wetlands. She was thinking of how she became a Maiden in part because of her search to be strong but "strength was not strength if it had no purpose or direction".

(she does not think about Min because why would she? Min has never bothered trying to build a relationship with her and, in direct contrast to Elayne, has shown many times that she isn't interested in learning any more about the Aiel or their ways.)

16. The Black Tower plotline should belong to Nynaeve . That is my only comment on chapter 46, lol. I don't hate Androl like some people do but... the Black Tower plotline should have been Nynaeve's (and Logain's too tbh, and would have been a good source for his 'glory' viewing from Min). This also would have given Nynaeve a strong late-series antagonist in Taim, after she's defeated Moghedien earlier in the series.

17. Actually, I am going to talk a bit about how frustrating it is that Jordan kept avoiding this plotline. It is a festering wound in Rand's storyline for months/books and Rand just keeps avoiding it and avoiding it. We get these tiny little hints into what might be happening at the Black Tower, but mostly it's just a self-inflicted wound on Rand's part that never really get resolved on his end, because Rand never goes back there. He creates it and then lets it be Someone Else's Problem, and it kinda feels like it's tied to how Jordan kept having Rand avoid Caemlyn in general. It feels like it's an element of the story that Jordan just... didn't know how to solve, so he kept punting it forward to the future and hoping he would figure it out eventually (kinda like the Seanchan, I guess). But, yeah, I feel like having Nynaeve literally stop by the Black Tower for Lan's bond and then immediately leaving really feels like a missed opportunity on Sanderson's part.

18. Faile, Perrin & co Travel to Caemlyn and Faile is startled by how there is a ring of clear sky around the city, breaking the cloud cover and allowing the sunlight to shine through. That's Rand's love for Elayne. <3

Faile notes here that Elayne is a younger version of her mother (she doesn't think here about how she missed the resemblance before, though now that she brings it up -- she also met Elayne in Tear, just like Perrin did, lol) and notes her pregnancy as well. Yet more people who found out before Rand did. Though Faile does not know for sure that Rand is the dad -- though he is an option that she speculates on.

19. Anyway, obviously Elayne does not execute Perrin. They make an agreement that Perrin will be a ~high lord~ in charge of the Two Rivers but underneath Elayne. It's kinda hilarious to me that Perrin flatly turns down the whole "super early betrothal" idea between his potential kid and Elayne's because of Rand and Egwene's evolving backstory throughout the first five books in the series, one version of which WAS them being ~all but promised~ since childhood, so it kinda IS a Two Rivers thing.

The political mechanism of this is going to be them having it styled as a request from RAND aka the Dragon Reborn, so it doesn't look like Elayne is giving in to the demands of rebels from the crown but is instead honoring the debt the world owes the Two Rivers for raising Rand and "the man I love", so Elayne is thinking at the point that she does intend to go public with her relationship with Rand, it seems, otherwise I don't see how that part of the plan can work. Though this may be Elayne assuming/hoping that Rand will survive the Last Battle and then they will be able to go public.

Hmmm, given that Elayne was kinda ~eh~ on whether or not she agreed with Egwene on needing to 'stop Rand' re: breaking the seals, it's interesting that she frames things that way with Perrin, as if she agrees with Egwene 100%. This conversation is all very political from Elayne's side of things, so I wonder if this part of it is as well. Or maybe Elayne has decided that Egwene is right after thinking things over.

20. ~Fortuona's~ skirt is so heavy and long that it requires five slaves to carry the train of it as she wanders around 'her' palace in Ebou Dar. Let's see what this scene is about, especially given my recent thoughts about how the little empress is a foil for Elayne, who just engaged in some clever political justifications in order to help the Two Rivers maintain autonomy.

Ah, we are being reminded that she gets off on torturing helpless women aka ~teaching lessons~ to stubborn damane. "You did not destroy a beast because it was slow to learn; you punished it until it learned." She's so repulsive in her internal narration. Also, that once again reminds me of how she treated Mat during the circus arc. Another point for 'she was slave-breaking him'. #MatDeservedBetter #PutMatInThePolycule #Yikes

She finds it soothing to watch women be tortured into whimpering and unwilling submission. How is she better than Semirhage, exactly? This is the exact same mindset that Semirhage had.

21. lol forever, the Seanchan are the biggest try-hards in the world. Her gown is covered with writings talking about how "The Empress IS Seanchan. The Empress WILL live forever. The Empress MUST be obeyed" (emphasis in the text). Someone is really really insecure, isn't she, despite her massive ego? Also, that is a straight-forward repudiation of Mat's belief that he can fight her empire without fighting her. She IS the Empire. If he openly turns against the Empire and against slavery, she will take it as a personal assault against her as a person. Speaking of Mat, she thinks here that one of the lessons she learned from her time with him was that not every noble on this side of the ocean would be plotting to assassinate her, as they might in Seanchan. That's the main lesson that she decided to take from her time with Mat. Nothing else important happened in your time with the circus? (also, I don't get how in the world she learned that from the circus journey? lol the only other Seanchan noble on that trip besides her was Egeanin, who was a. Low Blood and b. defected from the Seanchan over to the Westlanders; Fortuona is literally just making things up and creating baseless fictions in her head)

22. Ah, we are also here to show that Elaida is in the process of being broken. I had to skim over all the grossness here. I do think that a part of the reason it's Elaida here and not any other Aes Sedai is likely an attempt at softening the horror of what ~Fortuona~ is doing for the reader but, yeah, that bs does not work on me. I'm with Egwene. No one deserves to be treated like this. It's genuinely so unbelievable that the narrative wants to convince me that Mat would be willing to kiss (let alone do anything else with) a woman like this. Another character more devoid of morals and with a lack of empathy, sure. But Mat? Complete bullshit. (which is why Mat was replaced with a pod!person version of himself in CoT & KoD -- Mat's characterization change really remains the most obvious indicator that Tuon's original plot was likely quite different than what we ended up with, because Mat in WH is clearly set up to morally challenge Tuon and then in CoT & KoD, we abruptly swap to enabling & coddling her instead)

Because sure, Mat cares about people over abstract principles, but he is aware that marath'damane are people too. He barely knew Teslyn and he reworked his entire escape plan to save her. He didn't know the Windfinders at all and, again, risked his entire escape plan to help free them. Mat throwing aside the ~little people trampled under her feet~ in favor of the elite noble lady is just... not in character. It really does suck that Jordan decided to deal with punting off the issue of the Seanchan by destroying Mat rather than... any other option.

23. Anyway, the Seanchan officially now have Traveling, which I'm guessing is the other big reason we have this scene, not just as a contrast against Elayne. But we see here ~Fortuona~ wondering if she will have "unwavering loyalty" from 'Matrim' and an "impossible marriage" out of a fantasy where she will actually be able to trust the Prince of Ravens. tbh this feels like another illustration of Fortuona Just Making Up Fictions In Her Head -- Mat has explicitly told her that her empire is his enemy, and she views herself AS the empire so... no. Mat has no current plans to pledge his ~unwavering loyalty~ to her. But Fortuona has probably blocked out that part of the conversation because she didn't like it, lol.

She then immediately begins plotting her next strike against the White Tower, with this new weapon of being able to Travel directly to the enemy stronghold.

Mat, get a better wife. This one sucks.

24. Hmm, we go directly from seeing ~Fortuona~ being a terrible person, to Mat telling Perrin about being married to 'the Daughter of the Nine Moons', which he maintains is different than being married to 'the Empress of the Seanchan', so even in outside PoVs, Mat is trying to maintain that wall of pretense that Tuon isn't actually a major part of the Seanchan Empire. Interestingly, it sounds like Perrin told his own story first, so Mat & Thom (also here) are aware that Perrin is buddy-buddy with slavers (I doubt he went into detail about selling women into slavery, but he would have needed to mention allying with the Seanchan to explain how he freed Faile & Co from the Shaido). I wonder if that shaped any of their own responses to him.

And I will say, Perrin treating Mat being married to the Empress of the Slavers like the ‘of the Slavers’ part is meaningless: Ugh. I mean, it follows from his horrendous Actually Slavers Are Great People Sometimes ‘epiphany’ of KoD but it still sucks. He literally just goes "lol married man Mat" here, and has zero opinions about the quality of Mat's bride. And this is in Perrin's PoV, so if he were grossed out by Mat marrying a slaver, we would know. He is amused that Mat is married, grins a lot, and is content with just hanging out with someone who is married to a slaver. My respect for Perrin has plummeted once again.

25. Now, Thom is in this scene, so I'm going to examine his behavior closely, as promised. Very intriguing! He is the one who mentioned the marriage when he told the story (and Mat openly wishes that he hadn't) AND Mat grouses that he didn't make Mat sound heroic. Which is to say... Perrin has gotten pretty much precisely the opposite story to the one that Elayne got -- Elayne heard the version that DID make Mat sound heroic and that stopped before there was a marriage or having a slaver enforcer sent back to her empire to do more horrible things. And Thom is the one who told both of those very different stories. Hmm.

Putting this scene so soon after ~Fortuona~ thinking about how much she enjoys torturing people is, um, interesting. We have: Good Queen Elayne figuring out a bargain that will work for everyone; Torturer and Invader Tuon already planning to attack a stronghold of Team Light once again; and then Mat, who wishes people would stop bringing up his marriage.

26. lol, Thom's only comment on Tuon as a person (someone who he spent at least one whole month with, and it might have been two months idk the circus arc felt like it went on forever): "She's something interesting." lol, wow. That's the best he's willing to say about his ~good buddy Mat's wife~, huh? That's one of the best illustrations of 'damning with faint praise' that I've ever seen.

Mat himself does not offer up anything more positive about her at this time, just echoing Thom's comment.

Ugh, so grossed out by Perrin talking about how Mat's wife will expect him to know table manners. She's a slaver, Perrin. She enjoys watching people writhe in pain in front of her. Have some fucking perspective, will you?

...also, Perrin really has no room to talk about table manners. He canonically eats like a wolf.

27. Once again, Perrin confirms that Mat is now a fey creature who obeys oaths to the letter while breaking the spirit of them, apparently. Mat shows him the letter from Verin and Perrin smells it.

Aww, Mat does worry here about Verin. Well, she's dead, Mat. Read the letter instead of ignoring it.

lol, in contrast to Perrin hating when men smile, Mat notes that he wishes Grady would smile more. Don't say things like that around Perrin! He might take offense!

28. "This is why I left my wife in another kingdom". Ah, the very familiar sound of a man who is miserably married but doesn't know he's allowed to NOT be married. You will see this type of comment around the internet and it used to be pretty common on tv (especially sitcoms), though I think that's died down a bit in recent years (or I've just managed to successfully avoid the shows where it still happens). But the "please take my wife" school of 'jokes'. Happily married Grady finds the joke unpleasant. Because he actually likes his wife, I'm guessing.

Mat also notes that he feels like the world has been laughing at him recently. Then he tells Perrin that Moiraine is alive and that he plans to rescue her.

...yeah, I'm now leaning towards Thom believing that Mat is playing Tuon, because Mat's unhappiness about his marriage has not been particularly subtle, and it doesn't make sense for Thom to assume that Mat tumbled in love with her, because he's not acting like he wants to spend any time with her -- he's basically acting like he's ashamed to be married to her, given how much he openly regrets it whenever someone new learns about his marriage (even if he's the one who told them). Since Thom doesn't know about the prophecy, spy!Mat is the most logical conclusion for him to make.

I am also 100% not surprised that Perrin would fail to pick up on any subtext in Mat's feelings about ~his wife~ -- not picking up on people hiding their complex intentions and feelings behind false words has been a subplot throughout Perrin's plotline in the books (I talk, of course, of Berelain; who compared herself to Mat back in TSR and didn't chase him because she believed they were too much alike). Perrin is often baffled by why a person would say one thing and then do another contradictory thing (especially if they are feeling a third contradictory thing at the same time). Which is probably why Mat and Rand are closer friends over the course of the book series, tbh, because Rand was a lot better at picking up on that subtext from Mat just as Mat was better at figuring out what Rand's behavior meant than Perrin was.

29. Aviendha enters the forest of glass columns, expecting to see something similar to what Rand (and every Wise One and clan chief) saw. And she does. On the plus side, Avendesora has fully recovered from being burned during Rand's fight with Asmodean, which was less than a year ago. Yay, tree! We're reminded here of all the ter'angreal that Moiraine took out of Rhuidean, boxed up on caravans meant for the White Tower, but are now just... chilling in Cairhien somewhere. All that's left here is the tree, the glass forest, and the silver rings that the Wise Ones use.

30. She continues to think on whether or not tradition for its own sake is worth holding onto. And then, she actually thinks of trying to use the Talent that she discovered during her time with Elayne to find out more information on the glass columns! But she finds that this ter'angreal is much more powerful than any of the others that she had examined and she feels almost as if it is looking at her. When she turns away to leave, she finds herself drawn into a series of visions, but different ones than the ones she's already seen and came to expect.

31. Instead of the past, Aviendha sees a glimpse of a future. I use 'a' instead of 'the' because that's really the way that Wise Ones generally interface with future prophecies -- they have the silver rings and they have prophetic dreams, and BOTH of those are explicitly subject to change, both of them show possibility rather than certainty. So it makes sense that Aviendha treats this as a 'may happen' rather than 'will happen' (as Min treats her viewings). The Wise Ones always have a degree of malleability and uncertainty when it comes to their prophecies. So even though Aviendha thinks here that this vision feels more real than that of the silver rings, I do think it's partly the lessons of the rings that makes her decide not to just lie down and let the future happen to her, as so many other characters have done.

So it makes sense that the overall lesson that Aviendha takes from the glass columns is "okay, let's prevent this future".

32. The first new vision that Aviendha gets -- of a Aiel who thinks of herself as one of 'the Folk' and who lives a scrabbling life as scavengers in the desert, startles her. She wonders if interacting with the columns in the way that she did changed them. So she decides to turn around and go back into the columns, to see if there is a new lesson here.

33. The progression of lives (for part of this journey, Aviendha thinks she's viewing a distant past):

Malidra - scavenger who dies at 18 (end of Aviendha's line?)

Norlesh - we learn that the reason that the Aiel cannot trade with the 'wetlands' is due to the Raven Empress, who forbids trade with the Aiel. We learn that the reason they don't have settlements anymore is because they are attacked if they gather in large numbers, and they are not allowed back over the mountains into the wetlands.

Tava - greatmother (grandmother) to Norlesh. At fourteen, her hold was attacked and they were driven out to wander the desert. The attack was done via raken & to'raken, sounds like. We learn that this is far from the first time that a hold has been attacked -- few Aiel still hold to societies and sept/clan, because they have been forced to scattered and then regroup with new people so many times. This specific hold was deep in the waste, so they had believed it to be safe. We learn that "being known as Aiel meant death". This is when Aviendha realizes that this is not the past -- she recognizes the raken and the Seanchan uniform.

Ladalin - Wise One of the Taardad Aiel, who cannot channel and wishes that she could, so that she could help her people and remained young for longer to lead her clan. We learn that the Seanchan have done a successful job of hunting Aiel channelers, both male and female (so they may be actively using those copies of the black a'dam that Semirhage made). Ladalin is an old woman now and her entire life has been spent in battle against the Seanchan. We learn that the White Tower has just fallen and only five clans remain. The remaining Aiel decide to retreat back over the mountains and leave the wetlands to the Seanchan, hoping that their children can regroup and continue the fight in future generations. Aviendha finds Ladalin's PoV almost more confusing than the others because it is similar in some ways to Aiel culture thinking but with specific important pieces lost.

Oncala - Maiden of the Spear. Rhuidean has been besieged by the Seanchan. Oncala thinks about how the Aiel respected that the palace in Ebou Dar was the Seanchan's seat and did not attack it (until Rhuidean was attacked), yet the Seanchan attacked their place of peace. Oncala is visiting the royal palace in Caemlyn to speak with Queen Talana and is somewhat resentful that the Andoran royal family thinks themselves the equal of her own family, because they both have the blood of the Dragon. Because they know that they cannot fight the Seanchan alone, she and her family have papers that they took from the palace in Ebou Dar that show plans to attack the various places in the wetlands, thus bringing Andor into the war. However, they left out a document stating that this was a contingency plan and not an active assault being planned.

Padra - Aviendha's daughter, a Maiden of the Spear. She and her siblings have been able to channel since they were children, and she holds the Power constantly, even when she sleeps. We learn that the Seanchan have refused to let any of their enslaved channelers be released, even when the Aiel have offered to pay or trade for them. lol forever at ~the old Seanchan empress~ being considered a ~woman of honor~. Dude, I've met Fortuona. She's got no honor. Pride by the barrel, but no honor. But I guess it's easy to turn the dead into saints (actually the narration here implies that Fortuona dies relatively soon after the Last Battle, which I find interesting - "The old empress, the one who had ruled during the days of the Last Battle" does not sound like she was ruling for very long past that time period. "Many years had passed since her rule". Hmm). Anyway, this is the meeting, essentially, where the Aiel clans decide to go to active war with the Seanchan, thus kicking off the rest of the chain of events. Rhuarc's son talks to Padra after the decision has been made, about how his father felt that Rand was never truly part of the Aiel and didn't know what to do with them, leaving them at loose ends.

34. Anyway, I do think we have a couple of different motivations at work here for Sanderson: a. he needs Aviendha to decide to embrace her chosen future and not just allow the future to happen to her and b. making nice with the Seanchan is a fundamental part of the ending as Jordan had it set up in the epilogue, so he needs to make it so that the Aiel will play along with that.

However... there are some pretty big 'missing character' gaps in the vision that Aviendha has been shown. It's definitely less than a hundred years into the future in the first vision (we meet Rhuarc's son and there's no implication in the vision that he can channel) so... where is Aviendha? She can channel, and channel strongly. Same with Elayne. You'd think they might have some opinions and/or impact on the world. I kinda feel like the push-off into war probably should have taken place further into the future. Maybe have this vision have Rhuarc's grandson instead of his son, and not have any memory of seeing Rand. In a world where channelers can live hundreds of years... Amys or Melaine should still be around too, I would think. I have other questions as well. So despite Aviendha's own thoughts on it, the way that the viewings actually play out feels more like an intentional warning than a true future.

But you know, I did get a good laugh when Fortuona was called honorable, so we'll always have that.

The next reread post will probably be the last one for ToM and I'm going to save any commentary for HOW Aviendha goes about approaching changing the future for when she lays out her thoughts about it, since she hasn't said yet what her plans are, and I don't know if I've remembered them correctly. I think maybe we don't find out until AMoL. We'll see!

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #towers of midnight #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #aviendha #perrin aybara #elayne trakand #mat cauthon

113 notes · View notes

paracosmic-murdock · 2 years ago

Text

Tell me what are my words worth ; Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

Chapter 4: "Les mots de Whistledown"

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: While the other ladies have grown with the mindset of marrying and having children, you, as the daughter of a man who wanted a son, grew up being both. You learnt how to embroider, play the pianoforte, fence and manage the estate. However, there were some things that not even the Duke of Burgundy could do, so after he passed and you thought there was nothing left for you, you decided to move to London for a while and go to the Royal Academy of Art.

Nothing was going to keep you from what you wanted, and you would do whatever it takes: you would lie to everyone, you would live to death, you would pretend to be a man. You had a plan and it would be a piece of cake for you. But again, when has something that she wants and should not do easy for a woman? Especially when a man like Benedict Bridgerton gets in the way in more ways than one.

Warnings/tags: idiots in love, eventual smut, love triangles (but not really), lgbtq+ themes, bisexual benedict bridgerton, feminist themes, historical inaccuracy (for the sake of the plot), inspired by mulan (1998), song: the lakes (taylor swift), other tags to be added

Chapter summary: After enough days hiding in plain view, your arrival in London gets announced by Lady Whistledown. Its consequences—dozens of suitors— wrecked your plans for the day, but the dinner at the Bridgerton home wasn't one of those, but unfortunately, there is one Bridgerton brother you are still yet to meet.

Word count: 3.7K

❁ Series masterlist

❁ mila's anthology (main masterlist)

Dearest gentle reader,

It is this author's duty to keep you informed of the most important news, and it mortified me to not have a positive thing to notify you of in recent times. However, it has come to my attention that there is a charmant new arrival in town.

Walls have ears, doors have eyes, trees have voices, and so do I, and we all have gathered here to tell you, dear reader, that the distinguished Lady Y/N of Burgundy, daughter of the late Duke of Burgundy, took a trip from France to delight us with her presence.

By now, you are sure I cannot grant you incomplete information here, so I must let you know that Lady Y/N is nothing but grace, elegance, kindness and virtue in the flesh. If she had arrived at the beginning of the Season, and we could count on Her Majesty's judgment to be correct, she would have been named the Queen's diamond.

That takes us, dear reader, to our next topic of conversation in this issue, a matter most must be pondering about. Surely, there is a reason for her to be in London, and do not think for a second your beloved author will leave you in the dark any longer: she is looking for a husband!

Now, I plead the gentlemen of the Ton not to get eager, for there are certain requirements you must possess in order to even consider courting her: heart, wealth, face, and brains!

If you are a respectable gentleman and consider yourself not only in possession of those requirements, but also worthy of her, do not hesitate to pay Lady Y/N a visit at the Carrington Mansion.

And a little help: it seems like she is quite the emerald enthusiast.

Sincerely yours,

Lady Whistledown.

"Mama! Your dearest Lady Y/N is on today's issue of Lady Whistledown!" Eloise yelled after reading the paper.

Violet Bridgerton frowned. "Is she really?"

Eloise nodded eagerly, starting to read the article out loud to her mother and some of her siblings that were in the room.

"Is she to be a duchess, then?" Hyacinth asked.

"That is not how it works, Sister." Anthony said.

"Is she pretty?" Colin questioned.

"Oh, she is." Benedict answered to Colin with a smirk.

"You know her?" Eloise looked at her brother wide-eyed.

"The director of the Academy, Lord Carrington, is her godfather. I even painted her portrait the day before yesterday," he explained. "How do you know her?"

"Her father was friends of your father and I," Violet replied. "I reunited with her at Lady Danbury's first, but yesterday, Eloise and I were at the Modiste and saw her again."

Benedict smiled and stood up with a groan, hoping that maybe you would go to the Academy today for whatever reason. "I am off to the Academy!"

Lady Bridgerton shook her head at her son. "If you or your brother try to get close to her, let me warn you that you shall only do so if you have the best of intentions."

"Did you know she was the one to send those cufflinks you're wearing, Brother?" Eloise questioned, looking at him attentively as he admired the precious emeralds adorning the cuffs of his shirt. Even after so many years, he still wore them from time to time.

"Oh, is she also the one who sent us wine a couple years ago?"

"Yes, it was her," His mother gave him a quick glance. "You should know that the wine came with a heartfelt letter thanking me for the condolences I sent for her father's death, so you must not mention that to her during dinner tonight."

"Is she coming tonight?!"

"Yes, Sister, my mother invited her for dinner," Eloise told Hyacinth. "Although, I fear she might not come when she hears that both Colin and Benedict have their intentions set on courting her."

"Benedict is not going to court her," Colin stated, ignoring where his brother was the past afternoon. "And I cannot conceive the idea of her ignoring me! I've got the heart, the wealth, the brains and the hair!"

"Heart, wealth, face and brains." Eloise corrected him.

"The great hair is surely a bonus point in my favor, is it not?"

Hyacinth laughed. "You don't even know her!"

"I have heard enough." He smiled.

"What could Lady Whistledown even know anyway? Y/N arrived just a few days ago, and for Whistledown to say such amazing things about her, it would mean they have known each other for a while or simply Y/N did something nice for Whistledown, doesn't it?" Eloise theorized. She gave it a thought in silence and then ran to her room.

"She is everything Lady Whistledown says," Lady Bridgerton commented, giving Colin a serious look. "She is also self-righteous, obedient, honest, and service-oriented. She would make such a lovely wife… But as I just said, if you do not have the best intentions, Colin Bridgerton, don't you dare get near her."

"You are taking all the fun out of it, now I think I do not want her anymore."

"Good."

Hyacinth looked at the scene in amusement, returning to the pianoforte.

You woke up to Antoinette's insistence. "Antoinette! Is it not too early for you to wake me up so violently?"

"You are in the newest issue of Lady Whistledown!"

"Who on Earth is that?" you questioned with a frown.

"It is a gossip newspaper here in London, you must read it!"

"Does it have to do with Antoine?"

"Thanks to the Heavens, it does not."

"Then, I couldn't care less. I have a few minutes of sleep left until I have to go to the Academy."

Antoinette sighed. "I am afraid you won't be able to attend the Academy today."

"What?" You wrinkled your nose. "Why not?!"

"Because there is a long line of suitors waiting just for you, my Lady."

You sat up immediately and took the newspaper in Antoinette's hands, reading it all in less than a minute.

"Mon Dieu !" you groaned. "How many men are waiting for me?"

"At least four dozens." A tired exhalation indicated just your mood as you stood up and got changed with the help of Antoinette.

Once you were ready, you went downstairs to meet with quite the entourage of gentlemen. The staff of the mansion were running here and there, trying to accommodate everyone as best as they could.

"At least one of these must be interesting enough to marry."

You laughed. "Everyone younger than me or old must be sent away. The same applies if the man seems slow or a shag-bag, I am not going to tolerate that. Other than that, let the games begin," you instructed, letting your pettiness get the best of you. "This must be fun!"

"Anything you say."

"If any of them is Lord Walker or Mr. Schwartz, let them in," you said. "Madame Delacroix recommended them. Oh, you remember about Benedict, do you not?"

"I do, he was here yesterday."

You smiled at the memory. "If he is here, make him come first."

Antoinette tried not to laugh as she nodded, and soon enough, you were sitting in front of the third gentleman Lady Carrington had sent your way. Antoinette was your escort and some of the staff.

"Was the 'heart, wealth, face, and brains' your line?" he asked, making you chuckle.

"I did not say that, though it is not like those are four qualities I don't search for in a man. Especially the heart and the brains."

Lord Weber smiled. "Parler français est une condition nécessaire, aussi ?"

[Is speaking French a requirement also?]

"Uh, oui, mon copain doit parler français car je viens de France," you explained to him that your husband must speak French because you are French. "And you do."

"Are you looking to marry anytime soon?"

"I was exposed by your clownesque gossip writer, so I must say yes."

He chuckled. "Do you not want to marry?"

"I do, but not as soon as that woman said. She made me look desperate, did she not?"

"Just a little."

"I only ever wanted to make my debut during the Carrington ball and see what happens," You shrugged. "At least I know that the men Lady Carrington threw out will not come back."

She did all of us a favor, did she not?"

"She did," You curved your lips. "So, tell me about your family: do you have brothers or sisters?"

"A younger brother and an older sister. My father passed away a few years ago, and my mother lives in the country," he replied. "We have a manor in the outskirts of town, actually. Maybe you and the Carringtons could come and stay with my family for the annual Weber Masquerade Ball if you wish."

"Oh, when is it going to be held?"

"The last weekend of the next month, my Lady."

"I shall speak to the Carringtons about it and give you an answer, then, my Lord."

He gave you a charming smirk. "Would you be interested in walking along the promenade with me this afternoon?"

"I'm afraid I already have plans for the afternoon, Lord Weber, but perhaps we could arrange it for another day." you said, wishing for him to not invite you anywhere if it was time for you to be at the Academy.

"Tomorrow afternoon sounds good?"

You nodded. "Tomorrow afternoon sounds perfect."

Lord Weber stood up and offered you his hand to help you stand up. You took it and once you were both standing in front of one another, he kissed your knuckles.

"Would you forgive me if I said to everyone that you are an insufferable young lady? All is fair in love and war, or so I've heard."

"I would be very offended and disappointed that you didn't stand a chance against some men who do not even speak French, my Lord."

He winked. "You're right. See you tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yes."

When he disappeared, you threw yourself on the couch.

"This is not as fun as I thought it would be," you complained. "I am tired of them, are there many more?"

"Around ten."

You groaned. "They are always inviting me to do something and I am obliged to say yes! What if I am busy doing something actually important? They are inviting me to go for walks and do stuff when I should be in…"

Your face shone with enlightenment when the idea crossed your mind, and a loud, excited shriek echoed in the entire room.

"Every cloud has a silver lining!" You hugged Antoinette, who laughed as she tried to push you away. "Bring them all in!"

"Did you tell your sister you're going out tonight?" Cortez asked you. You gave him a condescending look.

"I am invited to go to dinner tonight at someone's family, I have no idea where, to be honest. So, right after dinner, I'll go to White's."

"Yes!" he cheered. "But don't you be too late."

"I will not promise you a thing, Santiago," you replied. "That I am going must be more than enough for you."

"We will be drowning that hostility in whiskey, Antoine!"

"I am more of a wine person, you know?"

"Oh, let's get this man back to his homeland!" he yelled. "Not at White's tonight, by the way. It will be a private party at the Cortez Manor."

"Sure, see you there." You got inside your carriage with a big smile. "We should get going to the Carrington Mansion so I can get ready to go to the Bridgertons for dinner and then I'm going to the Cortez Manor for a private party!"

"You are doing what?!" Antoinette questioned, altered. "It has been a very long, hard day, my Lady. Go back to the Carrington Mansion after dinner, listen to me."

"I already promised Santiago I would go. Antoine Voclain is a man of his word."

"Antoine Voclain doesn't exist, my Lady, please stop this before it gets out of hand!" she pleaded. "We can still say he passed away and you will not get in any trouble."

"I will not get in any trouble, Antoinette," you told her, taking your clothes off. "And I'm not going to stay in Art School my entire life, just for some time until… I don't know, until I find out who I am."

She sighed. "You are Y/N Voclain, the future duchess of Burgundy. You are a respectable Lady, you are intelligent, talented… You are going to make an excellent wife, mother to many children, and you are going to marry a man who can see that. You will bring so much pride and honor to your father to watch from the Heavens."

"Look at me," you demanded. "I am taking off the clothes that I stole from my cousin, I just finished another day at a school I am not allowed to attend, I am on my way to the home of a family who received me with open arms and open doors, the same family I lie to every single day. I am sitting in this carriage I stole from home, with the maid and the drivers I forced to travel for two days to a strange city with me. I should be looking for a husband, but instead, I wear jewels a second and a hat the other. Most ladies are only allowed to have makeup and ball gowns, but I have all of that plus a library of all the books I have read and the poems I have written, I have a bow and arrows, I fence, I travel, I paint, I do the numbers, I speak, and that is not who a respectable lady is supposed to be! I hate to think that I was born to be a wife and a mother while my father raised me to be more than that… Once I realize who that person is, I will return to France. Not a second before."

Antoinette felt silent while you wiped the tears you didn't notice had run down your face. You arrived at the mansion but didn't leave the carriage until you were ready.

"My, my, where have you been?" Lady Carrington asked as soon as you were in front of her.

"I went out for a walk with Antoinette," you mumbled. "I asked your maid to please tell you."

"She did, but you must let me know when you are going out, you're a lady!"

You nodded. "I understand, Lady Carrington. My apologies."

"It is okay, dear," She exhaled. "Are you going to the Bridgertons'?"

"Yes, I will get ready first."

"If Lady Bridgerton invites you to stay a little longer for some tea, stay. I know you must be tired for such a hectic morning full of suitors and the promenade in the afternoon, but it would be rude not to."

"I will, Lady Carrington."

"It is a pleasure to finally have met you all," You smiled. "Though, I was informed that there were eight of you."

"Our brother had a… matter to attend to," Anthony informed. "But he sends his apologies for not being here."

"Very well," You nodded. "I am looking forward to seeing him later."

"So is he." Gregory mentioned under everyone's apprehensive glance, and his sister Hyacinth jostled him.

You ignored it with a small smile.

"Shall we start?" Lady Bridgerton asked.

"Yes! I am starving." you agreed.

Most of the siblings thanked you.

"How has been your time here in London, Lady Y/N?" Colin asked.

"It has been great! I have met a lot of nice people, thanks to that I could see your mother again," you replied, muttering a thank you to the maid who served your food. "Everything was perfect until that absurd Lady Whistledown exposed my arrival to absolutely everyone, and had the Carrington Mansion full of gentlemen."

"No one caught your attention?"

You chuckled. "It's not that. Lady Carrington filtered all the men for me. I suppose that knowing everything about everyone is convenient from time to time. Lady Whistledown made me look desperate, did she not? It was humiliating to some extent."

"That is what I thought, too," Eloise said. "To anyone it could be flattering, right? But she described you like a trophy to get!"

"Exactly!" you exclaimed. "I thought I could make the most out of it, but I am a little offended that she made me look like nothing but a lovely bride."

Eloise smiled widely, but before she could say anything, her mother interrupted her. "Was there any suitor interesting, my dear?"

"One or two," you confessed. "I am afraid they will lose their interest in me once they find out I would rather be visiting my mother's family in the Americas instead of attending balls like a trophy."

"Have you been to the Americas?" Colin asked with wide eyes.

"Yes! My mother is from there, and her family owns the biggest emerald mines," you replied. "I wish to return soon, but I have never traveled such distances alone. After my father's death, I am afraid my voyages will have to wait until I marry."

"You travel a lot?" Anthony asked.

"I used to with my father… ever the explorer," You took a sip of your drink. "I would go with him whenever and wherever he went, so I have been to many places."

"I was traveling, too, a couple of months ago. My favorite stop was the Greek Islands." The rest of the Bridgertons groaned at Colin's intervention.

"I have been to Greece also. My father wanted paintings of the Greek Ancient Ruins in Athens and Epidaurus," you commented. "Although I would not change the Kingdom of Tahiti for anywhere in the world, it is certainly the most glorious land I have set foot in."

"Y/N, Colin will never shut up if you keep feeding him with information about travels."

"Eloise!" Lady Bridgerton scolded her.

You laughed. "It is not a problem, if you wish I will stop talking."

"Do not listen to her," Colin asked you with a grin. "Did your father get the paintings?"

"He did indeed, I painted them." you answered, and Eloise and Anthony looked at each other with knowing eyes.

"It is such a shame that our brother is not here, he would adore you." Eloise commented, making you look at her in confusion.

"He will regret not being here, certainly," Daphne smirked. "I hope you see each other at the Carrington ball."

Colin shook his head. "Please, ignore them."

You frowned. "Uh… the food is incredible, Lady Bridgerton."

"I am glad you like it, dear." She sighed in relief. "Did you like the wine?"

"I did," You nodded. "Which reminds me, did you like the wine I had sent to you the last time?"

"We all did," Lady Bridgerton answered. "Actually, Colin was telling me how much he had enjoyed it earlier today."

"That is good to hear!" you exclaimed happily. "It comes from our winery."

"It was one of the best wines I have ever had." Anthony added.

You smiled. "Thank you very much, my Lord. I will make sure to send a letter and have some bottles sent to you directly from Burgundy."

"We will be looking forward to it," Anthony said. "And please, call me Anthony."

"However you please, Anthony. Please, call me Y/N, too."

"And how is Burgundy, Y/N?" Francesca asked you.

"It is a wonderful region, dear Francesca," you told her. "And all of you are more than welcome at the Château de Germolles, the Château du Clos de Vougeot, or the Palace of the Dukes."

"Thank you, dear, we will take it into consideration. Perhaps for vacations." Lady Bridgerton answered.

"I hope it doesn't stay in consideration and I get to have you. All of you are welcome, there is more than enough space for all the Bridgertons. I am sure you would adore the Palace... it is enormous, there is art everywhere, the most precious gardens for you to explore."

"We must tell Benedict everything, he will be so mad to have missed her!" Eloise whispered to Anthony, and they both chuckled.

"I would love to!" Hyacinth nodded eagerly.

"Then I will be expecting you. Your presence would be a treasure to have in my homeland." You winked.

The rest of the dinner was great. Daphne talked about her husband and child, and invited you to Hastings whenever you wanted to. There was some teasing at Anthony when you mentioned, accidentally, that you had met the Sharmas at Lady Danbury's, and somehow Colin managed to find a way to mention his travels again.

After the dessert, you said goodbye to everyone and returned to your carriage.

"Now, we shall go to the Cortez Manor." you told Antoinette, who told the drivers. Once the carriage started moving, you started getting changed.

"You cannot tell Benedict about everything that she said!"

Eloise laughed. "They have already met, Colin."

"Oh, they would make the perfect match, would they not?" Hyacinth commented.

"I hear wedding bells." Francesca added with a smile.

"This counts as treason." Colin shook his head, making his siblings laugh.

"Colin, Y/N does not have a father to look after her, so I feel personally responsible for her now that she is here in London. If you do not have good intentions, I beg you to stay away from her."

"Why do you not have faith in me?"

Daphne laughed. "You have said more than enough times that you do not wish to marry, so forgive Mama for doubting you."

"So has Benedict!"

"While it is fairly obvious that she is too good for our brother, and this is coming from someone who is deeply against marriage, me, you have to admit that they have enough in common to make a good couple," Eloise told Colin. "And I would only support her getting married because that is what she wishes for."

Her mother looked at her surprised. "I hope you do not brainwash her into not wanting to marry, Eloise."

"Do you think she would have been named the Queen's diamond had she arrived earlier?" Hyacinth wondered.

"She surely would have." Colin replied.

"Then she would be engaged to Anthony." Eloise joked.

"I would have proposed, just so you know, Colin." Anthony mocked his brother. "We would be with child right now."

"Anthony!" his mother chided.

"Y/N would not marry Anthony if she knew Benedict… Being engaged to the wrong brother sounds awful, does it not?" Daphne gave Anthony a look, making him roll his eyes.

"Then it is good no one is engaged to a wrong sibling." Anthony cut the conversation, leaving the dining room.

#benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction

108 notes · View notes