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[clarabowmp3]

see it in my mind, let's fulfil the prophecy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLEO @thegreatimpersonatorr !

[joelalorian]

Fall Into Me - Chapter Eleven: Fall Into Me and I'll Catch You Darlin'

dbf!joel x f!reader | WC: 5k | E 18+ mdni

Series Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings. Joel is his own warning. Angst/despair, fluff, smut - this chapter has the works. Please excuse my lack of medical knowledge. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad and Joel uses various terms of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, etc.).

This is it, folks, the final chapter! Just the epilogue left now. Thank you for coming along on this ride with me. I have fallen in love with this little family and I hope you have as well.

Moodboard by the lovely @mrsmando. Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Chapter Ten | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Four days. Joel hadn’t left your bedside in four days, so immovable that the nurses took pity on him and asked an orderly to setup a cot for him in your hospital room.

You still hadn’t regained consciousness and Joel was losing his god damned mind over it.

The list of your injuries a mile long, among them a bunch of broken things – ankle, nose, ribs, wrist. That’s what you were right now, broken, and you had a hard road to recovery ahead of you. Joel agonized over your condition, freaking out when you had to go back into surgery shortly after coming out of it the first time. He’d barely laid eyes on you before they hauled you away again, machines beeping chaotically at whatever went wrong. You developed a hemorrhage, the doctor later told him, but they caught it in time.

Joel hadn’t stopped crying in four days, except for a brief time when Sarah was discharged. He held her for hours, trying his best not to smother or hurt her as she sat on his lap next to your bed. Aside from a purple cast on Sarah’s broken wrist, her limited injuries were already healing. Joel’s worry over his sweet little girl lessened a bit and he trusted Tommy, your dad, and your best friend, Emily, to watch over her while he sat vigil at your bedside. They brought Sarah by to see you twice a day, every day so far. Still, you hadn’t woken up.

He lost it the first time Sarah saw you lying there, barely recognizable from the injuries you sustained. Face bruised and swollen, body wrapped in casts or dressings. Sarah worried that you were dying, nearly inconsolable at the thought that you might die, might leave her, and her dad, forever. She couldn’t handle it, the thought of losing the only mom she’d ever known, ever wanted.

Joel had to leave the room at his daughter’s visceral expression of the pain she felt, her inconsolable weeping a reflection of his own anguish. He left Tommy to deal with it, and slid down the wall in the hallway, just a little way down from your room, shoulders shaking from the strength of his own sobs as the sound of Sarah’s caterwauling carried through the air. JB was the only one who could reach him through his pain, the understanding of one father for another as they both shed endless tears over you. He sat next to Joel, right there in the hallway, and wept with him, whispering words of praise of how strong you were, how much you loved them all, how you would pull through.

Joel fought hard to believe those words, to trust in JB’s hope as he was quickly losing his. He raged inside at how unfair life could be until he exhausted himself emotionally and fell into a dreamless daze in the cot next to you. When the sun rose above the horizon, he stopped trying to sleep, stopped pretending that he could while you remained unconscious.

“Come on, son. Go home and shower, take a nap in a real bed. You haven’t slept in days. I’ll watch over Spud, and you’ll be my first call if anything happens,” JB insisted the morning of day 5 at the sight of heavy bags beneath the younger man’s eyes.

Opening his mouth to argue, to adamantly refuse, Joel snapped it shut at the concerned look on your dad’s face. He gave into the exhaustion then, all the fight fleeing him, and he stood with shoulders hunched. He was completely deflated, emotionally and physically. “Ok, you’re right. I at least need a shower.”

“That you do. I could smell you down the hall.” Joel’s lips twitched at JB’s comedic effort, but he didn’t have it in him to smile or laugh. “Go on, git. Emily’s at your house with Sarah. She’ll stay while you nap – please try to get some sleep. I don’t want to see you for at least three hours, ya hear me, son?”

Joel nodded and kissed the small spot on your face free of bruising, slinking from the room with one last glance over his shoulder at you. He noticed how your dad kept calling him son – a new development since the accident and it warmed his heart in a way that he sorely needed during this torturous time.

The drive home a blur, his limbs functioning on muscle memory alone, Joel stumbled through the front door of his home with just enough energy to great Emily and Sarah.

“Joel!” Emily exclaimed, jumping from her spot on the couch to pull him into a tight hug. She adored him from the first second you introduced them, finding the man dreamy in that way that was a perfect match for you. It tore her apart to see him falling to pieces over your current condition. “JB commanded that I send you right to bed. Give Sarah a kiss then git goin’.”

Too drained to be disgruntled about being given orders in his own house, he swept Sarah up with tired limbs, ever mindful of her cast. “Hey baby girl. I love you. Have you been good for Miss Emily?”

“Yes, Daddy, I’m always good. Is she any better?” Sarah asked in her sweet, young voice that pulled taut at his heartstrings.

“Not yet,” Joel choked on the words, unable to fight the tears stinging the back of his eyes at his daughter’s worried face. He set her down on the couch before trudging up the stairs. Aching to climb into bed – as empty and cold as it would be without you – but he jumped into the shower first to wash the past few days away.

If only it was that easy.

Joel collapsed on the unmade bed, barely managing to throw a pair of sleep pants on after the quick shower. He was dead asleep seconds after his head hit the pillow.

An hour later, he pried his eyes open, clutching to the warm body clinging to him. For a brief moment, his mind thought it just another normal morning waking up to you at his side. Reality crashed down on him, hard, before he even had the chance to enjoy the thought. Sarah’s frame clung to him like a spider monkey in her sleep. She must have joined him for a nap at some point and was still out cold.

Her steady breathing lulled him back to sleep for another couple hours until Emily woke him with a shout. Joel bolted upright at the echo of his name, heart thumbing in his chest as he jostled Sarah in the process.

“Joel!” Emily called again as she reached the top of the stairs and peeked into his bedroom. “She’s awake!”

Mind still fighting through the fog to wake up, he stared at your best friend with owlish eyes.

“JB just called. She’s awake! You gotta get back to the hospital!” Emily stepped fully into the room, tossing a pair of jeans and a tee shirt at him to get him moving.

“Dad!” Sarah’s uninjured hand nudging him into action as she exclaimed. “Can I come with you?”

Finally, Joel’s mind kicked into gear. You were awake. He had to see you, but first, he needed to get dressed. “Not yet, baby girl. Lemme see how she’s doing and maybe you can see her tomorrow. We don’t want to overwhelm her, okay?”

Flopping back onto the mattress with a pout, Sarah muttered, “Okay,” as Joel eased out of bed with a groan.

It started with muscle twitches. Fingers flexing. A small grimace creasing your battered face. The process to consciousness was a daunting one that ended with fighting against the intubation tube. Even once a nurse came in and removed the tube, you still fought to come fully back to yourself.

“Dad?” Throat dry and raw, you could do little more than croak despite the rising panic. Your eyes darted around the room in confusion, landing first on your dad before taking in the plain white walls and clinical equipment. You were in the hospital, that much was obvious, but you couldn’t recall why. A thick fog wove through your mind, leaving you trying to make sense of anything, everything.

“Hey Spud. Sleeping beauty finally awakens,” your dad teased, his voice gentle but, even with a foggy brain, you picked up on the worried undertone.

“What happened?” It hurt to talk but you needed to know.

“You don’t remember? Of course you don’t, you got a pretty good knock to the head,” he muttered half to himself before tenderly taking your hand between both of his. “You and Sarah were hit by a drunk driver. Does that ring a bell?”

Like a light bulb coming on, things came back to you, brightening the dark corners of your memory. The ride home from school, going to get ice cream, the sudden and unexpected impact as you proceeded through a green light, the car rolling once, twice, then… nothing. With the memory came your brain’s recognition of pain and your body’s aches made themselves well known.

Everything hurt.

Seriously, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to move, to lie still. It hurt to just fucking exist.

“Oh my God, Sarah? Is she okay? Where is she? Where is Joel?” You glanced around the room as if waiting for them jump out from behind something, the panic returning as you gulped for air.

“Calm down, honey. The little nugget is okay. She’s home, Emily’s watching over her now. Joel’s on his way back. I’ll let him tell you how she is, but just know that she’s fine.” JB spoke in short, clipped sentences, not wanting to overwhelm you further, one grizzled hand stroking your hair back like he did when you were sick as a kid.

You tried to sit up but abandoned that idea the moment the room spun, the throbbing pain too much. Fuck, your face hurt like hell.

“Don’t do that, Spud. While Sarah might be okay, you were seriously injured. I’ll let the doctor explain when he comes in, but you shouldn’t try moving or anything just yet. You’re pretty banged up,” he explained softly.

You met your dad’s eyes, and you could see at once the toll your condition took on him. You had so many questions, but you couldn’t process them quite yet. The pair of you sat quietly for a little while until the doctor joined you, explaining the laundry list of injuries you sustained. No wonder everything hurt. They gave you more medicine for the pain now that you regained consciousness – you couldn’t believe you were out for so long – and things started to make more sense in your brain.

You’d be stuck in the hospital for a few more days before the doctor would even think about discharging you. As much as hospitals sucked, you knew it best you stay put when you couldn’t even sit up with collapsing back in pain.

Joel burst into the room shortly after the doctor left. Sipping at a cup of water your dad held for you, you nearly choked at the sight of him. You’d never seen him look so disheveled, so run down, his normal scruff grown out into a near full beard after a week of not shaving, eyes bloodshot and sunken, curls a messy, wild halo around his head.

“Oh darlin’,” Joel said as you attempted to smile at him. The bandages covering portions of your face and the swelling from the repaired break in your nose made it hard, but your eyes sparkled with happiness at the sight of him.

“Hi Joel,” you croaked in return.

He practically launched himself at your side, knocking JB out of the way so he could sit bedside. Hands hovering, afraid to touch, tears glistened in his eyes. “I was so fuckin’ scared. Thought I was gonna lose you.”

Tears sprung to your own dry eyes as the fingers of your uninjured hand tangled with his. The mere tickle of tears in your nose was damn near excruciating. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

Startled, Joel’s dark chocolate eyes searched your face, completely baffled. “Darlin’, what? What in the world are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

You blubbered as Joel and your dad stared at you bewildered. “I almost got Sarah killed!”

Joel cracked a smile then, the first one in nearly a week, before leaning forward to place a tender kiss upon your chapped lips. “The hell you did. You didn’t do anything but take care of her. None of this was your fault, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t shake the guilt though, not even days later when the doctor discharged you. Sweet, little Sarah waited for you with a bright smile and a mylar ballon that read Welcome Home as Joel and JB helped you into the house. The sight of the purple cast on her right wrist wiped the smile from your face. How could Joel not see that this was all your fault?

You could hardly hug the girl as guilt overwhelmed you.

Emily and Tommy stood behind Sarah as you wobbled through the front door, smiles not hiding the winces at the healing trauma on your face. Emily could tell at once that you were on the verge of breaking down, unable to take your eyes from the healing contusions on Sarah’s adorable face or the cast on her wrist.

Stepping forward, Emily pulled you into a hug, ever mindful of your healing ribs and incisions. “It’s so good to see you awake and in one piece!” she whispered in your ear. “None of this was your fault, you know that right?”

She knew you too well. You choked on a sob, burying your head in her shoulder for several minutes until you had your emotions back under control.

“Do you wanna sign my cast? Daddy got special markers for it! I wouldn’t let anyone else sign it before you came home.” Sarah held a silver Sharpie up for you, flashing those puppy dog eyes at you. Unable to deny her, you took the marker with a trembling hand and drew a heart on the topside of the cast, your name scrawled sloppily beneath it.

Delighted, Sarah handed Joel the marker next and, with a quick glance at you, printed his name above the heart you drew, adding Sarah’s next to yours so that it now read Joel hearts you & Sarah. The tears returned when both Sarah and Joel gazed at you with unabashed affection.

Perhaps they really did not blame you for the accident, for Sarah’s broken wrist, for all that you put them through in the past week and a half. You weren’t sure if you deserved their love, but you basked in it, allowing it to wash over you and heal your soul.

Six weeks of convalescing at home under the tender care of Joel and Sarah, and you finally felt like yourself again, emotionally, and physically. It took a while, but Joel managed to convince you to set free the irrational guilt you felt over the accident, aided by the news that the drunk driver pleaded guilty.

Wanting to celebrate your recovery and the removal of your and Sarah’s casts, Joel planned a small gathering for July 4th. Just the Millers, JB, Emily and her husband, and Maria – the attorney Tommy fell head over heels for last year finally gave into his advances and they were happily living together now. She was a gem and fell right in with the group, giving as good as she got.

“Darlin’, just put that down, I’ll get it,” Joel insisted as you pulled a plate full of raw steaks from the fridge.

“Joel, I’m not a delicate little flower who will break under the weight of a few steaks,” you teased lovingly. Placing the plate on the counter, you turned to Joel and slipped your arms around his neck. Fingers threading through his curls, you pulled his head down, pressing your lips to his. “I love you.”

Joel’s large hands slid down your back, grabbing your ass as the kiss intensified. “Mmmm, I love you, darlin’,” his deep voice rumbled against your mouth. A knock sounded on the front door as he placed another kiss on your lips. “Now, let me take care of this while you welcome our guests.”

Before long, everyone gathered in the backyard. Your dad, Joel, and Emily’s husband Ed stood around the grill while Joel cooked the steaks and Sarah showed off her swimming skills to Maria and Tommy. You and Emily sat on the patio with glasses of sangria just watching everyone you love.

“I know I’ve said it a million times already but thank you again for being there for them after the accident,” you said as you watched Joel manning the grill with confidence. “I know it couldn’t have been easy and I just want you to know that I appreciate you.”

“Always, that’s what friends are for.” Emily smiled at you. “You really got somethin’ good here, you know. That man, he was a complete wreck while you were in the hospital. And that little girl, she worships the ground you walk on. Those two would do anything for you and I know you would do anything for them.”

You heard from your dad how hard Joel struggled while you were in the hospital, how he barely slept, refused to leave your side. Emily reiterated it all and you knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that you would have done the same if anything happened to him or Sarah.

“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” you said after taking a sip of the fruity red wine concoction. “I can’t imagine my life without them in it.”

“That’s good, really good.” Too busy making googly eyes at Joel, you missed the knowing look Emily shot you.

“She can’t keep her eyes off you, son,” JB teased. “You ready to do the thing?”

“What thing is that?” Ed asked curiously.

“Imma ask her to marry me,” Joel mumbled, already feeling a little nervous. “I got the ring in my pocket, just waiting for the right moment.”

“Good on ya, man!” Ed replied. Turning to JB, he added, “I take it he has your blessing?”

Nodding, JB grinned at his future son-in-law as he replied, “He sure as hell does. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to take care of my little Spud.”

A flush rose along Joel’s neck and moved onto his cheeks at the praise. “Alright, alright. Let’s not talk about it anymore. I don’t wanna risk her overhearing something. I want it to be a surprise.”

The other two men nodded in understanding. “Just one last thing,” Ed said. “You should ask her during the fireworks. I brought my good camera; I’ll make sure to get great shots of it for you and the fireworks will just add to the ambiance.”

The steaks were grilled to perfection, Joel nailing that medium rare sear that you loved, and Maria’s macaroni salad was a hit. Once everyone devoured their food, you jumped into the pool, letting the water ease the lingering ache in your bones while your dad and Emily insisted on helping Joel clean up. Before long, everyone else joined you in floating around to kill time before the town’s fireworks show began. The house was perfectly situated to see them from a distance, so you didn’t have to fight the traffic to find parking in town to see the show.

Drinking in the sight of Joel shirtless, swim trunks sitting low on his hips, you licked your lips hungrily. He dove into the deep end of the pool, swimming underwater until he reached you in the shallow end. Popping up next to you, he slicked his wet curls back from his forehead with a grin. Fuck, he was handsome.

“Hey beautiful,” Joel greeted. “Enjoying yourself?”

Smile so broad your cheeks hurt, you nodded. “Today has been wonderful, thank you, Joel. This was exactly what I needed.”

“I’d do anything for you, darlin’. You know that, right?” he implored, pulling you close so that you could wrap your legs around his waist beneath the water’s surface. “I’ve never been so in love before. You have completely changed my world.”

“I could say the same about you, babe.”

“The fireworks are gonna start soon. Watch to watch them from the patio?”

“Sure,” you replied. So caught up in Joel, you didn’t notice everyone watching you both with broad smiles as the two of you climbed out of the pool.

Settling into one of the cushioned outdoor chairs, the soft glow of the string lights from that special date all those months ago glistening on your damp skin. Joel moved his chair closer and sat, holding his right hand out for yours, he grinned when you twined your fingers with his.

Suddenly, Tommy appeared in front of you both, carrying a fresh glass of sangria for you and an ice-cold beer for Joel. “Here you both go.”

“Thanks Tommy,” you said gratefully.

“You ready?” he asked, his dark eyes glowing warmly in the low lighting.

“For the fireworks?” you replied, slightly confused. “You bet!”

Tommy smiled indulgently, sharing a look with Joel before moving to the poolside to help his girlfriend out of the water.

Glancing around at your friends and family, you found everyone watching the two of you. You had the feeling something was up, that there was something you were missing. Before you could dwell on it, the first bursts of light exploded in the sky, the whistling boom echoing distantly.

Mesmerized by the show, oohing and ahhing with everyone, you didn’t see Joel slip from his seat to kneel next to you. As the finale began, he said your name, drawing your attention away from the sky.

An audible gasp left your lips as he gazed at you, love lighting up his tanned features. Your eyes darted around the yard to find everyone watching you instead of the fireworks, Ed snapping away with that fancy camera of his.

“Joel, what—” you began breathlessly before he cut you off.

“Do you remember that song we danced to, right here in the yard, beneath these very lights?” His smooth voice gave no hints of the nervous energy flowing beneath his skin.

You nodded, recalling the memory fondly. “That was a beautiful night.”

“It was, and I hope to have many more just like it with you.” Still kneeling, he reached his left hand into his pocket and your breath hitched. Your heart nearly dropped when you merely pulled his phone out, tapping at the screen until music began to play in the background.

Taking your hands in his, Joel began to sing along, his deep voice the perfect contrast to the artist’s.

“On the day that I met you,

The world had just spit me out.

On my way to the bottom

Sure I’d never be found.

Then you saw me for me

Made me believe in myself.

On the day that I met

It all turned around.”

Tears stung the back of your eyes, but for the first time in weeks, they were tears of happiness, not pain or guilt. You clutched at Joel as he went to pull his right hand free, and he chuckled.

“I fall more in love with you every single day. I don’t know how I ever got to be this lucky, to find someone like you, who fits so perfectly, so seamlessly into mine and Sarah’s lives.”

You finally loosened your grip so he could pull his right hand free, digging into the zippered pocket as you swiped at the tears coursing down your face.

“You are the woman of my dreams, the one I was sure didn’t exist until I met you. If I promise to fall for you over and over again, will you promise to be my wife, to be Sarah’s mom, to love us from now until forever?”

Gazing into his dark, gorgeous eyes, misty with tears of his own, you nodded. “Yes, yes. A million times, yes, Joel. I’d love to be your wife and Sarah’s mom.”

You were sobbing as he beamed, slipping a beautiful, understated princess cut diamond ring on your finger. It fit perfectly and your heart swelled, the love in you threatening to spill over, to burst straight from your chest. “Joel, it’s so beautiful!”

Joel stood, pulling you with him until your feet left the ground and he spun you in a circle once, twice, before setting you down on solid ground. You lurched forward, sealing your love, your promise with a heated kiss.

As if they hadn’t all witnessed every second of what just happened, Joel looked over at everyone and declared, “She said yes!”

The small group of your favorite people made a racket with their whoops and whistles, JB shouting above the rest, “About fuckin’ time, son!”

Unable to contain herself for another second – she had been incredibly patient, after all, letting her dad do the asking instead of her – Sarah burst from Tommy’s grasp, launching herself at you. Joel helped you sweep her up for a tight hug.

“It’s official now, right?” Sarah questioned, nearly vibrating with excitement. “You’re gonna be my mom now. I finally get to have a mom and not just any mom, but you. The best one I could have asked for.”

Just when you thought the tears ebbed away, the waterworks started once again. “Oh, my sweet, perfect girl. I promise to try my best to be worthy of such an honor. I couldn’t have asked for a better girl to go on this adventure with.”

“This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed,” Emily said, her voice catching as tears ran down her cheeks as well.

“Agreed,” Maria chimed in with a sniffle and Tommy pulled her close with a dumb grin spreading across his face. You could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he thought about how he’d propose when the time came.

You and Joel couldn’t keep your hands off each other once Sarah went to bed and everyone left. Your need for each other was too mighty to fight, not that either of you wanted too anyway. He treated you like glass the past six weeks, afraid to hurt you, to aggravate your injuries. You understood, but that didn’t stop the desire, the need for him and it frustrated you that he would not give in. Now that you were mostly healed, you wanted him to make love to you like he used to.

Readying yourselves for bed, you climbed onto the mattress, straddling Joel’s hips where he laid back against the pillows. Half hard already at the mere sight of you naked before him, he grasped your hips to grind your core down on him.

“I need you, my love. I need to feel you inside me. It’s been too long,” your voice a breathy whine against his mouth, your lips touching but not yet kissing. “Let me ride you.”

“Fuck, darlin’,” Joel gasped as you shifted against his now fully hardened cock. “Take what you want, sweetheart.” He watched with lust blown eyes as you slid his sleep pants down his hips, and he kicked them off to lay in a pile at the bottom of the bed.

So wet and needy, you didn’t even need foreplay. Sealing your mouth to his, you swallowed his groan as you slid down on his cock. Pausing for a moment once he was balls deep inside you, fingers threaded through his luscious curls, you sighed in contentment.

“I feel so fucking full, Joel,” you moaned, finally starting to move. “I’ve missed this so much.”

Joel gazed at you, completely enraptured and unable to speak. The words stuck in his throat, he just watched you move on him, his hips shifting upwards to meet your movements. It felt so good he knew he wouldn’t last long, shifting his hand between you to pluck at your clit as you rode him.

“Come for me, darlin’. I need to feel you come apart around me,” the words burst from deep in his chest, dripping with need as he got closer to the edge. Thumb moving frantically against your clit in that way that drove you crazy, he made you come apart within minutes.

“Fuck, Joel!” you gasped, burying your face in his shoulder, biting down on the flesh to stifle your moans. Waves of pleasure washed over you so strong you couldn’t move your hips anymore. Joel took over, thrusting up into you, drawing out your orgasm as your walls fluttered around him.

You sunk your teeth further into the meat of his trapezius, the shock of pain like a bolt of lightning straight to his cock. His movements grew sloppy as his balls tightened and he came with a guttural growl, sucking at your neck as rope after rope of cum splashed inside you.

Breathless and satiated, you stayed in place, allowing the aftershocks to roll through you both. You brought your hands up to cup his face, the patchy scruff of his beard tickling your palms. The diamond ring on your left hand sparkled in the dim lighting and you grinned down at Joel, so full of love.

He pulled you down to lay with him, his softening cock slipped out of you in the process, and you both ignored the mess as you cuddled together.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” You felt the words rumble from deep in his chest as he spoke them, pulling you impossibly closer until your sweaty skin melded to his. “I fuckin’ love you, darlin.”

Smiling sleepily, you murmured your love for him, your excitement over being engaged, the beauty of the ring he chose for you, until you fell asleep mid-sentence.

Your dreams were no match for the life you and Joel were creating together.

Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx

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[srbachchan]

DAY 5956

Jalsa, Mumbai June 8, 2024 Sat 11:33 PM

🪔 ,

June 09 .. birthday greetings to Ef Naresh Bhatt .. Ef Ratna Mukherjee (urf Mili) .. Ef Dr. Sona Vikas .. Ef RB Prajapati .. and Ef Mahek Shukla from Gujarat .. 🙏🏻🚩❤️

💍 .. wedding anniversary greetings to Ef Prasha Ganesh .. completing 2 years on June 09 .. our love and prayers for infinite happiness .. ♾️ 💐🙏🏻🚩❤️

A rushed day .. a rushed work .. and a rushed completion .. but completion all the same .. and that is what matters , completion ..

A completion which I hope and pray had the approval of them that had designed the work for me ..

At times when the work ends ahead of the time schedule , it creates an atmosphere of not just surprise but doubts in the minds of the makers whether they were able to do justice to the work or not .. something similar to what each day transpires with the undersigned ..

So .. the face and mood becomes a bit contemplative ..

... was I able to do the desired in order or were there some shortfalls .. and the doubts exist even well after the work is over ..

despite the heat of the Summer at 45 degrees .. and the wearing of the snow outfit ..

naaah .. but work is demanding and the demand must be adhered to, irrespective .. so yes the woolies and the heavy duty wear present themselves .. some wonder , some have questions which I am aware of .. but work is work .. so we work ..

aaah .. far too much emphasis on the work front ..

just a walk in the park would have been better .. err .. walk to the floor would have been better ..

and while all try to find answers to the many .. did anyone notice the design of the 'bandi' in grey ..

let me know if you can respond ..

till then ..

Love ❤️

Amitabh Bachchan

[neteyamslovrr]

WRONG TO WANT YOU - PT 1

summary: ever since you stepped foot onto the land of his clan he couldn't help but feel drawn to you. everything about you he craved. but he couldn't have you. not while his son called you his.

contents: 2.2k words, fem!sully reader ,WARNING suggestive themes!! 16+, cheating, alcohol, fluff, angst, fluff, partying, depression, age-gap

authors note: AHHH im so excited to post this i've been in such an insane writing slump and just feeling gross in general so i'm glad i got this out <;33

(reader is 21 and tonowari is around 40. when they came to the clan she was 20 so they've only been there a year!! all characters aged up)

next

The village was lit up. Cheers and instruments filled the aura as many men and women swayed their bodies together dancing. The elders sat in their corners chatting away as the children ran around playing tag. It was a night of celebration, an Akula had been hunted, a feed for the village that would last them for weeks. 

Tonowari stood proudly looking over his clan. It had been a long time since he had seen the clan in such joy since the fight. It had been such a long time since his clan faced the sky people, yet the fight still laid in the back of each of the peoples minds.

The Sully's had made their way perfectly into the clan. Their blood lay with their ancestors, they were Metkayina. And you. Yes you. Were Metkayina, which laid gently in Tonowari’s heart.

Ever since the first day you arrived on the beach with your forest family, Tonowari could not keep his eyes off you. Your peculiar frame and thin tail and arms intrigued him. It'd been years since he'd ever looked at a woman like that. 

You were Jake Sully's eldest daughter, a hunter of great precision and skill. You weren't to be messed with. Yet you also moved through life with a strong sense of kindness. A warmth in your heart that made Tonowari's heart flutter, even when he begged that it didn't. 

Neither of you could deny the lingering looks you shared. The way each of you would mindlessly look for each other in a crowd. The way each of you would sleep at night imagining the other in their arms.

He knew it was wrong to want you like that. To want you as a mate. A forest Na'vi...a woman so much younger than him. So kind and full of life yet faced with war. He knew that wanting you would cause trouble.... especially when he found out his son had managed to court you. 

You remember so perfectly the moment you felt yourself regret being with Ao'nung. The Metkayina prince had treated you so well.... He’d been kind, caring and such a gentleman. But at that moment he was none of those things, and you wondered if he ever was in the first place.

You'd been on a walk, the sand you had found became quiet comforting to feel against the balls of your feet. The sun was much warmer in the reef, like a comforting hug that embraced you every moment the light shone. 

You were on your way to find Ao'nung. The man who had taken your heart so stealthily without you even realizing he had taken it until your chest beat and cheeks warmed up whenever he would be around you. The man who had promised his loyalty to you. The man who had lied to you.

Every step you took a sexual sound grew louder in your ears. Every sultry moan that erupted from the couple hidden behind lush bushes made your heart pound faster. It was fear. Heart dropping to your toes as your fingers shook. Shaky breathes. In…Out…In…Out. The feeling of nausea swirled in your stomach, as if your growing emotions were bashing on the walls of your body.

Closer you walked until the bushes were merely a slap to your pride as they hid nothing about the infidelity you had witnessed. It was as if your voice had been stripped away from you. No sound came out even if you wanted to scream in anger, throw daggers through the hearts of the couple ahead of you.

Ao’nung’s face shot up from the place it resided between a Metkayina woman’s legs. The sex-drunk look on his face not disappearing away quick enough for him to even think of begging for some sort of merciful action.

A frown so deep it may as well been etched into your skin. Shaky hands pointing at the perpetrator of the assault on your heart. “How…could you?” The words were broken and cracked off your tongue, wobbling away from the scene as your back hit those same bushes that taunted you earlier.

“Y/N….please just listen” He couldn’t try and find an excuse. And quite frankly he couldn’t have been bothered to find one either. This wasn’t an accident. No, his head dipping in between the legs of another woman was incredibly intentional.

“Don’t ever-” Your voice broke as sobs tried desperately to crawl their way up your throat, scratching every nerve and muscles within you. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

So that’s how you ended up shitfaced at the clan’s gathering. Wallowing in your sorrows and indulging in the incredibly strong affects that the purple silky liquid held in the carved cup in your hand had on you.

It seemed wrong to dance, a time of celebration when all you were doing was mourning your heart and cursing your naïve nature. Oh how stupid you were. How idiotic it was to think he could ever commit when he was so immature…so cruel.

Sitting on the scratchy log had become much to boring for your intoxicated mind. Instead opting for a walk. Yes, the comforting walks on the sand. That is exactly what your miserable-self needed right now.

Tonowari’s eye never left your clumsy figure. Not like they ever had. His stare always followed you when he could afford it. But right now so did his legs as he took his curious steps towards your path of choice.

He was no stranger to you and Ao’nung’s relationship. Meaning he was no stranger to the stupidity of his son. Tonowari punished the boy greatly, but he could never deny whenever he yelled and felt his heart surge in pain. It was because he couldn’t stop thinking of you. How you must’ve felt. The heartbreak you must’ve endured. It broke his heart.

Steps grew larger as he saw your figure leave the party, taking its stroll towards the rocky shelves of stone that resided on the further side of the shore. Seeing your tripping figure and feet dragging across the floor made him speed up in fear of you hurting yourself.

Maybe it was the alcohol he had indulged in that allowed himself to go after you. If this was a sober night he would’ve stared at you until your figure was out of sight. Only to fantasise more about you as he tucked himself into his lonely cot and dreamt about having you there with him.

But he wasn’t sober. No not tonight. So his legs stride towards your figure that had mysteriously already gotten so far in a short amount of time. Must be an Omatikaya thing. To be so agile.

His broad and huge figure approached you, immediately making you panic. Why was the chief…the very very attractive chief and father of your ex approaching you with such determination. Heart pounding, ears tingling as the cup of alcohol was discarded onto the rocks, making a soft clank sound as it rolled down onto the sand below you.

His walk was full of power. Arms swaying as his clothing adornments perfectly decorated his detailed body. His stare was something else. Determination and concern swirling in his eyes as he came closer into view. His hair blowing ever so softly in the wind it revealed his tensed jaw, squeezed shut as his nostril flared inhaling and exhaling before he came to a halt in front of you. “Why is a young woman like you not partying with the rest?”

Eywa, pray for you. Thinking such dirty thoughts about him. Your leader… his father. But his voice was like velvet, so soft and smooth it engulfed you whole as you dissolved into mush. “ ‘m obviously sitting here.”

Tonowari frowned at your obvious intoxication, you hiccupped after every second word, the sentence slurring into a jumble as you gave him a look of feigning innocence. “I sense that you are not telling the truth.

“Are you calling me a liar?” You asked, eyes sharpening as you stood up on the step, still having to look up to him. If someone were to look directly behind Tonowari they wouldn’t even realise you were there he was so huge. “ You’re the one who raises liars!”

It was a pitiful shout, one that would make someone frown in discomfort at the misfortune of the one in front of them. Which was the exact expression of the man in front of you.

“You’re not a liar…” Tonowari let out a sigh as he looked down at you. His arms tensing as he refrained from engulfing you in a warm embrace.

“Such- such a liar!” Your drunken ramble turned up a notch as your brows knitted together upset as tears welled in your golden eyes. “Liar! He’s a liar- A cheat. He cheated! A cheater!” Words sloshed together as you tried to hold back the soft sobs that were begging to escape the jail of your mouth.

Tonowari pulled a tight lip frown as he nodded. “I know...I know” How badly he wanted to cradle you in his arms and shush your cries. But even if he was inappropriate and irresponsible, he is still the chief, and you’re still his son’s ex. But he’s also hopelessly in love with you.

“You don’t know! He’s your son!” Now faint punches were being laid onto Tonowari’s chest. He didn’t move, you had no were near enough strength to crumble his stance. “He- I- why?! Why did he do that? Was I not good enough? Huh? Not prestigious enough for an heir to your throne.”

Tonowari let out a breathy “No- No of course not!” As he shook his head violently. The punches to his chest grew stronger.

“Then WHY?!” Your drunken state was obviously impacting your emotions. If you were sober you would have never even talked to Tonowari in the first place. “Why w-was I not good enough? Why her and n-not me?”

And that’s when you collapsed. Falling into the chief’s chest and strong arms in a fit of tears. Chest heaving as sobs racked through your ribs. If it weren’t for the loud sound of the waves crashing against each other then your wails would be carrying through the entire village. Tonowari got rid of all the restraint he was holding as you fell into him. He squeezed you tight. Not daring to let go as his large hands patted down your hair soothingly.

“Shh…shhh it’s alright” He tried to quiet your cries as you continued to shake in his hold. Lip quivering as you snotted and cried all over his pectorals.

You could say nothing else, your brain did not have the capacity to conjure a single thought. The wind was cold, the alcohol in your system making your skin increasingly sensitive to the world around it.

“I think it’s time you rest. Hm?” His hand glided its way up to hold your chin delicately in his fingers, a soothing thumb wiping your tears. You could only hum in agreement as his strong arms took you in and lifted you up.

Nuzzling into the warmth of his chest, you continued to weep. Not even quite sure what you were crying about any longer. His touch was nothing but comforting. Heart buzzing in your chest as you looked up to see his loving gaze staring right back at you.

Tonowari decided to not cause a huge stir in the clan and take you to his hut instead of your own. Avoiding the clan and avoiding the chaos that would ensue in one seeing a pair so wrong behaving like this.

Laying you down on his cot, he crouched next to you. Looking at you in his bed, even if it was not the scenario he imagined in his mind a million times, it was still enough to make his heart flutter.

You mumbled incoherent words as Tonowari stumbled across his hut, still drunk, making sure you would have the most restful night of your life. Laying a weaved blanket upon your body he kneeled beside you once again to brush the hair out of your face, enough to see the way your eyes were fighting their way to stay open to stare at the handsome man above you.

“Stay.” It was a quiet mumble, a drunken confession as you gazed into his shocked eyes. “Please.”

Tonowari’s expression was clear. He was fighting his own morals and standards. Fighting his mind and his heart. And his heart won…well the alcohol did.

Defeated, yet still celebrating. Tonowari laid in the cot beside you. His arms engulfed you, taking in your whole frame as he moved you on top of his chest. He was so muscly yet so soft.

Humming in content your tired and drunk self managed to fall fast asleep on the older man’s chest. Quiet snores filled his ear as his hand caressed the small of your back.

This was a problem for future Tonowari to worry about. But right now, he had the opportunity to hold you close, and hold you tight.

His son had been selfish and lost you…it was time for Tonowari to be selfish and have you.  

tags: @avatarkv @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @cyberfreaky @cinetrix @supercoolusernamesblog @gabrijelasworld @rebeccao03

everything taglist: @8resa @ilovejakesullysdick @neteyamsblog @live-laugh-neteyam @reyalvr @trashfox @darkacademictrash @scntfrhs @dreamyescapesfromreality @fanboyluvr @neteyamzmate @neteyamyawne @neteyamssbaby

thankyou so so much for reading reblogs and replies make my day!!!

[jabberwock-islanders]

Hajime Hinata headcanons that totally aren't us projecting on him

We adore this boy <33

He's a burnt out gifted kid. Since Hope's Peak is essentially a private school, you can't tell me I'm wrong.

^ The above point feeds into his low self worth. He used to be so bright when he was younger, so capable. What happened? Why is he suddenly struggling to keep up with his peers when he was so far ahead of them in previous years? Will he ever be able to catch up with them? Will he be worth anything in the long run if he can't?

Since Hajime's family is literally never mentioned (as far as I know at least), time to make up some stuff! /silly

Hajime had a wonderful relationship with his mother. She was the main one who funded his HPA fees and wanted him to have the best opportunities he could. His father? ...Not so much.

Now, Hajime's father wasn't awful. He gave Hajime the support he needed, he taught him every life skill he knows, and gave him the push he needed to do better. But once he enrolled in HPA, those pushes were a little too hard and a little too frequent. Because of Hajime's academic and social struggles, his relationship with his father reached a low point. Now he no longer had the love and support he had grown used to. All his father seemed to express towards him was disappointment.

So yeah, Hajime is a mama's boy. Now for the lighthearted stuff!

Hajime is a MASSIVE classic rock fan. ACDC and Queen are his favorites! He listens to some other subgenres of rock, but that mostly consists of the occasional indie rock track in his playlist.

Other than that, Hajime's music taste tends to fluctuate and bend to include some music his friends listen to! He has some punk rock from Kazuichi and Ibuki, Mario Kart music from Chiaki, and 80s-90s death metal from... Nagito?? Wow, that was unexpected.

Hajime's fashion style is very... plain. But! Every so often he lets his friends dress him up in something within their aesthetic! His friends have noted that light academia suits him best. They try their best to get him to wear a little bit more than a polo shirt and slacks, but some days dressing simple is dressing good.

Hajime is a bisexual polyam king and no one can convince me otherwise >:]

While Hajime is a little bit dense, he's very good at telling when one of his close friends is upset (even if they themselves haven't noticed yet). This skill is especially useful with Nagito and Chiaki, since they rarely ever tell anyone they're sad or upset without being specifically asked about it.

^ Adding to the previous headcanon, Hajime is the mom friend. He takes care of the others and commits their likes and dislikes to memory. He knows exactly how to cheer them up and calm them down better than anyone else in his class. It's one of the reasons why so many of his classmates adore him.

While Hajime is really good at taking care of others, he's God Awful at taking care of himself. His classmates always have to physically hold him down via cuddle piling when he's upset or hurt so they can make sure he's actually taking a moment to relax. And then there's Nagito and Chiaki who coddle him 24/7 no matter what (although they do it in very different ways).

Okay, I think that's enough for now lol

[itsjaywalkers]

Hello!hope ur having a good day :) <33

I was wondering if u wanted to share some trans reg hc, could be overall or like the boxing au one, or anything rly.

Like who was the first person he came out to, how/when did he realise, how does he deal with dysphoria- what gives him dysphoria/euphoria, and maybe how would it translate into like relationship and sexlife, would he be able to go ahead without any/much dysphoria, or would he have to have sex a ‘specific way(?? Idk??)’ to make it work?

A lot of question I know, and u don’t have to answer if it makes u uncomfortable or anything, I just wanted to hear more about your headcanons about this.

//a trans guy who is obsessed with trans reg, and ur writing

hi darling!! i have today off so i am . in fact . having a great day <3 i hope yours is treating u kindly too!!

and ofc i want to!! i'm gonna do it boxer au based, since reg's trans experience isn't the same in every story!! and don't worry, i'm happy to answer ur questions!! it doesn't make me uncomfy in the slightest, trans reg is very special to me too for many reasons and i loveeee talking about him <3

the first person he came out to was sirius!! this is my Truth almost always no matter the fic. it changes sometimes, if he takes longer to realise and he and sirius have a complicated relationship but !! in the boxer au they get along great and they're very close, so reg told sirius first!!

sirius already had his suspicions tho, and they had a lot of long deep convos about gender. he helped reg figure himself out and supported him every step of the way

in the boxer au, he realised quite young!! he was never completely comfortable in his own body, but since he was a very awkward and . odd . kid everyone attributed it to reg just not being 'normal' in general. when puberty hit it got worse tho, and even tho everyone told him it'd pass and that puberty wasn't supposed to feel good or fun, reg knew there was something else

sirius also noticed there was something going on with his brother, so he tried to help him in every way he could. he lent him his clothes whenever reg asked (even tho it was always kind of begrudgingly), convinced their parents to allow him to wear his hair short, bought him oversized clothes and called him by his nickname and never his actual name

but i think the moment it actually hit reg was when he got mistaken by a boy one time he got out of school and went to his father's office to wait for him. the receptionist assumed he was sirius, and it finally clicked for him

he didn't tell sirius immediately tho. he researched a lot first, almost obsessively, and he doubted himself all of the time, having these moments in which . he was afraid he was actually somehow making it all up in his mind

reg was very scared of change, and this was a very big One. he knew sirius would support him no matter what, but there's always fear yk?? and there was also the matter of his parents. he was absolutely terrified

but he ended up blurting it out one night he and sirius stayed up late in secret. sirius talked to him about this one boy he was crushing into, and came out to him. and reg came out to him in return!! there were a lot of hugs and a lot of tears (they pretended this never happened the next morning)

sirius was a man on a mission after this. he helped him browse names and started using the correct pronouns, always getting so incredibly upset when he slipped at the beginning. reg found it very endearing, and assured him it was fine bc it was understandably gonna take them both some time

reg didn't have many close friends back then, so he didn't really come out to anyone in school, and he graduated with only sirius knowing the truth

those years were hard ngl, and reg struggled A Lot, but having sirius on his side made the whole thing . slightly more bearable . sometimes not even that was enough but reg appreciated it immensely

how he deals with dysphoria has changed over time!! he relied a lot on the internet when he was younger, and on his brother too, but there was only so much sirius could do apart from offering a willing ear and being comforting, considering he couldn't really understand what reg was going through. it absolutely broke sirius' heart, to see him have breakdown after breakdown, losing his appetite or refusing to leave his room for days

back then reg experienced dysphoria constantly. he wasn't comfortable in his own body and he had a hard time looking at himself in the mirror, or even listening to himself talk

some days he could kind of deal with it, remain functional despite it all. he did his best to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't think too much about the whole thing

but other days getting up from bed was Hard

now tho !! it doesn't happen That often, he's the man he was always meant to be !! he's on T and got top surgery and legally changed his name and gender so he's kind of thriving

he still has his moments tho bc this is something he's gonna have to deal with for the rest of his life so when it happens he goes to the twins!! they're both trans in this story so they Understand what he's going through and they support each other Always

they exchange advice and comfort each other when it gets especially Hard and . idk it's all very lovely, they're each other's ppl yk??

again, back then a lot of stuff gave him dysphoria, but nowadays it's more specific?? little things that usually don't upset him that badly but that sometimes pile up and end up giving him actually bad dysphoria??

like . he's a well-known sports journalist, he isn't really a celebrity or anything but ppl do talk about him sometimes, especially bc of sirius (and then bc of james) and they tend to mention his looks or how similar or different he looks to his brother

and sometimes they use more . feminine adjectives or straight up say he's kinda feminine or even comment on him being trans since it's public knowledge and reg has spoken on it more than once and . it's stuff that doesn't affect him that badly but it still annoys him

it's the same when ppl highlight how passing he looks, how u can't even tell he's trans, etc

there's also the ppl that are purposefully transphobic or misgender him which . does actually make him quite dysphoric, even tho he's mostly very comfortable with his identity + his looks now

he also has a bit of a complicated relationship with . stuff that it's considered 'feminine'

like clothes don't have any gender, same with makeup, and reg wouldn't mind wearing a skirt even tho it's not his style and he does wear some makeup semi-regularly for tv interviews etc etc but . sometimes he feels slightly uncomfy on it, like he gets bad memories or becomes paranoid about how he looks in it, if the clothes make his body seem too . curvy .

as i've said, he's very confident nowadays but he still has his moments!!

when it comes to gender euphoria, it's all about the little things!! people calling him handsome, seeing how hairy his body is now, the fact that he can take his shirt off now when he goes to the beach etc

when it comes to relationships and his sex life he has reached a point in which he can usually go ahead without getting dysphoria but . it depends on his partner really

some ppl can be transphobic without meaning to or simply bc of a lack of knowledge which is fine by him u know he totally gets it, it's a matter of being willing to learn and to listen to him

like . he's used to guys assuming he only bottoms or not even ask if he's comfortable using his front hole u know

or using afab terms to refer to his genitals without making sure first reg is okay with that

which brings me to my next point !! in oby, reg himself uses afab terms and he's fine with james using them too, they've had a convo about it and everything

but it's different for reg in the boxer au!! he does use afab terms for himself, he doesn't mind at this point and it doesn't give him any dysphoria however . when it comes to his sexual partners . he prefers them using words like a cock or hole or more neutral names . it gives him gender euphoria!! and the other stuff makes him kinda uncomfy. it's fine when he's the one saying it or thinking it but hearing it out loud coming from . other people, especially people who are just there bc they're attracted to him and want to fuck him is . Not Great

he also isn't always fine with using his front hole during sex, it depends on his mood and how much he trusts the person he's gonna be sleeping with. besides, he quite likes anal too so !!

this whole thing is another reason why . reg doesn't want to sleep with james bc he feels like he's gonna be a bit of an asshole about it or be another guy who doesn't even bother asking about his preferences or what he's comfy with

which isn't the case at all!! james has been with trans ppl before, and even if he hadn't, he's very considerate with his partners!! and as he should tbh. him being arrogant or knowing he's great in bed doesn't mean he's selfish

[clickerflight]

Clove: Part 33 - Home

Author's note: We're almost to the end. The next chapter will be the epilogue. I have so many feels. It will feel good to finish writing a story.

Masterlist - Part 32

Content: Vampire whumpee, vaguely referenced sexual abuse, emotional angst, lost time

........................................

Hyrum ran ahead of the group through the trees, still in that huge wolfdog form, barking and howling with excitement, tail wagging behind himself as he bounded over streams and logs. Ephraim, who had Benny’s arm over his shoulder, felt his energy coming back just watching the pup enjoy the sun streaming through the leaves. 

Kortops and Halia walked, arms linked, deft flaps of their wings getting them over obstructions. 

Benny had been very quiet since waking up and Ephraim assumed he needed some time to think while he healed from the fight they had. Ephraim didn't mind. He needed time to think as well. 

Besides, it was wonderful to look at the normal plantlife, hearing the soft sounds of birds and water, no mists to obscure their vision. It looked like time had moved strangely while they were in the fae realm. That was to be expected. It was well into summer, now, when it had been autumn when he left. He hoped everyone was okay. He hoped that Margaret was still alive. 

“How long has it been?” Benny asked softly, apparently having a similar thought process. 

“About 53 years if it’s July now,” Ephraim said, and Benny’s head hung a little lower. “It’s not your fault.”

“Feels like it,” he whispered. “If I had been a little stronger. I knew what was happening was wrong. I didn’t even like being her husband, but-”

“You were charmed,” Ephraim said firmly. “And now we can move on. We’re home. You’re home.”

Benny lifted his head, and Ephraim felt sick to his stomach seeing the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Ephraim, I don’t think I belong here anymore. I’m…. I’ve been….”

Ephraim could see the words that wouldn’t come out. Defiled, disgusting, corrupted, sickened, a completely different man lost in a familiar world.

Ephraim sighed. “Benny, do you remember what I told you after you’d recovered from being turned?”

Benny frowned, trying to remember, but his charm-addled mind had caused the memory to completely leave him. His shoulders hitched with a sob as he shook his head. 

“That’s okay. I want to tell you,” Ephraim said warmly, trying to keep any worry out of his voice, rubbing his thumb over Benny’s neck. “We live for a very long time, Benny, if everything goes well for us. That gives us a lot of time to change. We are never going to be the same person as we were a decade ago, okay? And that’s okay. It takes a lot of bravery to face that, to try and keep up with the ever changing world and with the change within ourselves. We will live to see horrors beyond anything most mortals can comprehend, and we have to learn how to handle it, okay? I am so sorry it happened so early. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from being taken that day, but we have to take this in stride and we have to keep going.”

Benny was silent for a long moment and Ephraim took another breath. “You know that I was a gladiator once. A long time ago.”

Benny nodded. He felt more awake, especially at the mention of the part of Ephraim’s life that the older vampire quite often refused to talk about. It was still hard to imagine Ephraim as a gladiator. Maybe that was just because Benny had seen him plant too many sunflowers. 

“I didn’t want to be a gladiator,” Ephraim sighed. “I had been captured for being a vampire and sold around until I ended up in a gladiator ring. I was trapped there for years, Benny. Fighting and killing just so I could have a meal once every few days. I was sick, but still stronger than the humans they kept sending in to fight me, trying to slay me like some monster…. It took me a long time after I’d won my freedom to figure myself out. I couldn’t make friends for a long time, I acted like the monster they’d trained me to be, and I didn’t even have a safe place to sleep. I know how you feel, and you have to remember that you are the only one in charge of your emotions and actions. You have to take your life into your hands and make it what you will.”

“But I don’t know what-”

“You don’t have to right now. And I’ll let you in on a secret. You never will. You just have to decide what you like from life, what you think it would be fun to be, and go for it.”

Benny thought about that for a moment. That seemed easier said than done, and he didn’t like how lost it still made him feel, but Ephraim was right, Ephraim was almost always right. He’d been around long enough to know things like this. 

“Thank you. For the advice and for….. Getting me out of there.”

“Not sure how much help I actually was for that,” Ephraim said with a chuckle. “There’s the cottage.”

Benny looked up and his knees nearly gave out, seeing the beautiful cottage, the garden fairly well tended. It seemed Ephraim had been away for a while but someone had taken the time to put the garden in order. 

He saw Hyrum run into the garden, sniffing at everything, stopping to roll in the grass before getting up and dashing into the house, turning into a human on the way in through the door. 

Benny could hear voices inside and soon enough Hyrum came back out, wrapped in a blanket. It seemed that his clothing got shredded when he took his large wolf form. 

“Eef! Margaret is here!”

Benny perked up, gathering his energy to let go of Ephraim, walking on his own as a man who smelled like herbs and teas stepped out, surprised. Benny felt a pang of sadness, realizing this man was old enough to have kids, but he couldn’t have been alive when Benny left. He would only know the old members of the village. 

He pushed that thought inside. He needed to see Margaret. 

He stumbled up, past the garden, past the two fae who stopped to look at the flowers, giggling to one another, past the pup and to the cottage stoop, leaning hard on the railing. 

He faintly heard Ephraim commenting on everything new as the man stepped aside, surprised. 

Benny stepped up onto the stoop, which hadn’t been there before, and through the door. 

He looked around so quickly, it made him dizzy. Finally, he spotted a wizened old woman on the couch, only the faintest traces of who she had been marked on her face. 

“Margie?” he whispered, looking at who was once his younger sister. Younger? Really? How could he possibly be older!?

She looked up from the medicine pouches she was assembling with a deep frown, only for her eyes to dull with confusion when she looked at him. 

“Who…. no…. Benny?”

Benny nodded with a sob, stepping across to the couch where he sat down heavily, wrapping his arms around his sister, kissing the thinning grey hairs on the top of her head. 

She grabbed his arm with a gnarled claw, grunting as she weakly pushed him off. 

She looked him over more critically. “In the name of Lady Death, Benjamin Ashmaker. What are you wearing?”

He looked down at the tight leathers, split and torn in places from his fight and smelling of werewolf slobber. “I…. I’m not sure, anymore. I’ll change as soon as I can.”

Ephraim stepped through the front door, a tired little smile on his face and Margie looked angry at him more than anything. “There’s the slacker. Where in the world have you been, then? Something to do with Benny here?”

“Yeah. That Sorcerer, Jack, he kidnapped Hyrum and we ended up in the fae realm. Your brother’s been playing spouse to the Queen all this time. Good thing he did, too, or he would have been killed.”

Ephraim came to kneel on the floor, taking Margie’s spotted hands. Benny swallowed hard against tears that tried to rise up when he saw that. She was so…. Old. Lady Death was standing behind her, practically. Ephraim had warned him about this part of being a vampire, and he had been ready to handle it when he thought he would be able to spend all of these years watching these people, his sister, grow old. But no. He’d been taken, gone for what felt like 16 years and came back to find his sister about to return home to the great beyond. 

There wasn't enough time.

Margie turned her eyes back to Benjamin, hardened with time and grief, but still the same woman who always called him foolish and a ‘man who attracts trouble like seeds attract birds.’ And despite the pain he saw there, he was glad to see her eyes and mind were clear. “Benny…. I have an apology to make to you and to Ephraim. I had thought you dead. I had lost hope. I am sorry. I should have believed…..”

Ephraim put a hand on her knee. “Don’t you worry, Margie. Hope is painful, and I hoped enough for the both of us.”

“If it helps at all,” Benny said, almost in a whisper, “I… I didn’t feel abandoned.”

“PSHAW! Probably because you were charmed out of your mind!” she said in a high croaking voice. “Foolish man! Trouble maker, that you are. Spouse of the Queen, indeed. Foolish. So very foolish!”

Tears were spilling from her eyes, following the creases and wrinkles as she slowly leaned forward, bones popping and creaking as she wrapped her arms around Benny. 

Benny buried his face in her shoulder, the tears and sobs fully escaping. He didn’t want to mourn the lost time. He needed to focus on the time he had now with his sister, with his mentor. But it just wasn’t fair. He’d lost so much time, so much blood and memory, so much innocence, so much of himself, and for what!? For what!?

He felt Ephraim rub his back as he cried. Ephraim understood. He always seemed to understand. It was a small comfort in the abyss of grief and confusion Benny found himself in. 

And maybe it would be enough. He wasn’t alone. Not anymore. And he still had time with Margie. He was so very lucky to have been found before she… before-

The man he’d passed at the door cleared his throat. “So, ah, are those fae out in the garden with Hyrum?”

Ephraim started. “Oh, yes. I’ll need to explain that. You two catch up, alright? I’ll come bug you later, Margie. Looks like there’s no rest for the wicked.”

“I should hope not,” Margie huffed. “Making us all worry all winter and spring. You have a lot to answer for.”

Ephraim left with a laugh and a wave, and the door closed on Benny and Margie, years apart and yet still as close as the day Benny was taken to the fae realms. 

Epilogue

Hey you! Yes you! I want to have a sort of askathon about this story once this is done. Have questions about this story? Meta or clarifications on cannon? Please send them so I can answer some as a celebration of finishing this series. Thank you so so much for reading this series, and I hope you will enjoy the epilogue. If you are reading this way after the series is over, still feel free to send in asks. It is good for a writer to remember the stories they have created, even if they are over. <3

Clove Taglist: @wolfeyedwitch @the-blind-one-speaks @whumpsday @extrabitterbrain @inkkswhumpandstuff 

@honeycollectswhump @whump-blog-reblogs @pigeonwhumps @mj-or-say10 @percy-frayer 

@currentlyinthesprial @scoundrelwithboba @whumps-and-bumps @hellodecisionparalysis @scatteriskity

[lyrichi]

Falling

Hey guyys!!! so erm I found some of my old writing and was lowkey tweaking over it so.... lololol posting time!!

~1k words and there might be mistakes, this is also supposed to be sanegiyu but no names are mentioned so go off chat <33

I used to think he hated me. Hated the world and cursed its creations for existing in his presence. I thought that he would go to bed praying for my downfall. For the downfall of humanity; of life, the natural order. 

The look in his eyes had said it all. Blank and cold, a vat of forgotten emotions that only became more distant as the days went on, voids that went on for a millennia. 

When we spared, his expressions changed slightly, and I liked that. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't bring life into his eyes. I would often catch myself wanting to stare endlessly into the grayish expanse of them, wondering how bright the blue was, hidden behind that greyish hue. 

When we argued, his eyes pushed further. They pushed away from me, yet pushed for me to look deeper; to find the chest of suppressed emotions locked away in the far corners of his mind. 

When we sat together, he almost looked hollow. He was a husk of whoever his former self was. He would sip at his tea quietly and stare holes into the table, refusing to make conversation. I wouldn’t have been able to speak with him without blurting out something I would have regretted. 

I had always had a hundred questions to ask him. About his long dark hair, his clothing, the way he held himself.

His confidence had infuriated me. I wanted to know more about him and why he would utter words that placed him above the rest of us. Why he would isolate himself and refuse to interact with anyone. Why he would refuse to look us in the eye. Why he wouldn’t cooperate. 

I found myself wanting to know him. To be his friend. 

I started noticing the little things about him. The way his hair would sway softly when he walked ahead of me. The way he would grip his sleeves when he didn’t know what to say. The way he would blush at any complement. 

I would find myself staring at him. Admiring him, adoring the smallest of things that he would do. His eyes would light up at the animals we passed on the street, a ghost of a smile on his face. 

His happiness was contagious. 

I wanted more of it. I wanted him to be happy. 

I soon found myself hanging out with him. Taking him to his favorite restaurants, watching his favorite movies, visiting his favorite stores. He would always refuse to let me pay for him. 

I insisted of course. Watching the subtle changes in his stoic exterior was a more than fair trade. I had wanted to get a reaction out of him for years now, and I had just managed to wedge my way into his emotions.

I grew fond of him in a way that I never thought I would. I wanted to to see more of him. The way he cried, the way he laughed, the way he slept. I wanted to be with him forever.

I had no way of knowing if he felt the same way. I had made so much progress, and I wasn't going to ruin it.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks to months. My fondness had mirrored that of a crush developed in elementary school.

I couldn't help but feel weak to him. To the way his eyes softened at the sight of me.

I wanted to bottle his hopes and fears into a mason jar. Keep them for myself to look at like a cocooning butterfly. I could feel myself marveling at each crumb of vulnerability I could get from him.

I still hated him. I really did. I hated when he would retreat back into his shell. I hated when his eyes became just as distant as before. I hated when he would close himself off to other people around us.

I couldn't help but fall.

It was hard to admit at first. But I loved him. It was a love that transcended boundaries and imperfections.

I loved when the weight of the world seemed to lift from his shoulders and he would allow himself to live. I saw glimpses of a soul so beautifully broken, a beautiful stain-glass painting installed in the front and center of the most intricate cathedral.

He was a puzzle I couldn't solve. Layers upon layers to his complexities, each one more intricate than the last. I wanted to unravel him, ruin and tear apart is stoic front. I had never liked that part of him anyway.

So, I remained with him, subtly wedging myself further into his life. We shared countless moments together – laughter, tears, whispered secrets in the dead of night.

There was always a lingering part of him that remained distant. I couldn't pry it out of him no matter how hard I had tried. The layers around his heart had solidified with years of solitude.

I had begun to realize that his hate for the world was only that of a mirror. It was himself who he hated. He kept me at an arms-length.

I wanted to be the one he let in.

I wanted to hold his hands and kiss him.

I wanted him to see himself the way I saw him.

The change in him was subtle. Like a sunflower following the sun's path through the sky. He would smile. He would engage in conversation. He would stare right back at me.

We were laying next to each other in the dead of night when I had spoke my truth to him. I thought he was asleep, lying by my side with his head resting on the soft pillow to my right. He had his arm draped over my chest, his legs curled up loosely near my own.

I had looked over at him, an endearing smile appearing on my face at the pure sight of him. I couldn't keep it to myself, it had come out in the domesticity of the moment.

Those three endearing words falling from my lips in a soft whisper.

"I love you."

[wisecrackingeric-2]

“New Years”

Rating: G

Word Count: 3,540

Summary: Leon falls asleep on the couch during a New Year’s party with their friends, so Luis takes it upon himself to carry him outside and cuddle him on the couch while watching the rain.

And all the while, Luis reminisces internally on the life he lived, the person he’s become, and his love for Leon.

A/N: I’ve left everything I wanted to say to all my readers in the notes of the fic on AO3, so if you could go and read it all, that would mean the whole entire world to me :) <<<33

Fic under Cut!!

Luis wondered a lot what death would look like.

He kind of had to, really- it always felt like an inevitable. Unavoidable. He always imagined himself dying young; drowning in a pool of his own mistakes, choking on the blood he caused with his own hands. Maybe he’d inhale too much smoke, maybe he’d toy with the line between curiosity and danger a little too harshly-

Either way, Luis never planned very far ahead. He could never imagine himself settling down or finding somebody to love forever and ever. He accepted that long ago; that as long as he was alive, death was close to follow suit.

He just hoped that death would be peaceful. Like falling asleep and waking up in a crowded room full of your loved ones.

So adjusting to the opposite- adjusting to a new life full of people who cared about him, a man who’d love him until the end of time, a stable home, a steady job- it didn’t come naturally to Luis. Far from it, in fact.

He had to fight tooth and nail to get the people in Leon’s life to trust him fully. That he was OK with, though; he was used to getting his hands (nonmetaphorically) dirty to survive. But what he wasn’t used to was seeing his efforts actually pay off.

Rebecca worked in the BSAA’s laboratories close by his side completely by choice. Chris offered for him to stay the night at his place when Leon was away. Hell, even Jill loaned him the keys to her car when his broke down;

It was almost domestic in nature. Like Luis had his own circle of support outside of Leon.

No- he did have support outside of Leon now. He had people who cared about him. People who wanted to see the best in him. People who looked past his mistakes. People who loved him.

Luis needed to keep reminding himself of that.

But he wasn’t alone, at least.

He has Leon to help with that seemingly oh-so difficult task every single day of his life.

Even when Leon didn’t realize it- he was reminding Luis that he was loved and cared for with every little action he gave. From soft morning kisses in bed, to cooking him a small breakfast before work, to picking him up in the afternoons to take him on little coffee dates;

Sometimes it felt like the smaller, more menial moments meant far more to Luis than any loud declaration of love ever could.

Which was ironic, cuz loud declarations of love were Luis’ specialty;

He’d taken after his childhood hero Don Quixote in that way. He’d taken after him in many-a ways- but performing flowery speeches and winding poems of love were one of the dozens of talents Luis had picked up from his beloved book. And, hell, they clearly worked- because people adored them.

Even when he wasn’t trying to be painfully romantic, they still worked- and the evening Luis found himself in was no exception. He could spin jokes and tell tall tales to Claire, Rebecca, Chris and Jill like there was no tomorrow- and they hung into his every word with an almost childlike curiosity. Ashley saw through this, though. It was far from an act Luis was putting on- it’s not like he was lying about any of his stories- but she of all people knew how genuine Luis was in the way he expressed his emotions. Ashley of all people knew especially how much being perceived as chivalrous and quixotic meant to him.

It was one of the few things he could control in life. And one of the few genuine things he could give back to people. He liked seeing others smile; it made him feel like he was doing something truly good.

But as much as Luis was a talker; he was equal parts a listener. Moreso, even. The longer the New Years Eve party went on, the quieter Luis found himself becoming, ironically- choosing to lean against the wall in the corner of the kitchen and watch his friends laugh about their own inside jokes and lates mishaps on missions like it was only yesterday they’d just come back from them. Hell, maybe it was only yesterday- Luis lost track of the conversation after letting his eyes dip close one too many times. He’d lost track of time entirely, in fact; which was a very new feeling for him.

He’d always kept track of time. Minutes. Hours. Days. He had to keep track of these arbitrary numbers or else he ran the risk of succumbing to the Plagas or his own madness. It was a tiring cycle; a cycle he didn’t even realize was so exhausting until Leon pulled him out of it.

For the first time in years, Luis let himself loose track of time.

He felt safe. He felt at home.

He’d lost so much throughout his life. Every home he had- His Grandfather, and every home he built for himself- His Dream Team at Umbrella… it’d all come crumbling down around him one way or another eventually. And Luis would be lying if he said he didn’t miss it. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss his Grandfather’s baritone voice or the makeshift Birthday Parties Umbrella would haphazardly throw for their employees.

But Leon brought that all back to him.

He loved Luis like he was apart of him. His other half. His person. And Luis did the same.

Leon built him a home he could feel safe in; a home that wouldn’t be destroyed. Leon caressed him every night and listened to him ramble and read him stories in his terrible attempt at Spanish whenever he asked-

He woke Luis from his nightmares and dried his tears with gentle kisses. He’s put Chris or Rebecca on the phone to tell him a stupid joke just to cheer him up.

Leon gave him everything. And Luis just prayed to God that he could give him the same back, too. Even if it was just in little ways.

Speaking of…

“You’re Husband looks dead to the world, Luis,”

Claire playfully jeered from the other side of the room, her smile hidden behind a glass of wine as Luis was practically snapped back to reality, blinking his big brown eyes like a newborn deer. He almost forgot they’d gotten married- that Luis had proposed to Leon with one of his own rings.

“¿Q-Que-?”

“Leon,”

Jill chirped up and gently jabbed his side with her elbow, nodding her head towards the couch on the opposite end of the small and homely apartment where, past Rebecca and Chris standing beside a doubled-down-with-laughter Ashley, was Leon; his head propped up with the heel of his hand and his eyes already closed as he seemingly instinctively curled up against the throw couch pillows sleepily.

It took pretty much every muscle in Luis’ body not to audibly coo and melt into a puddle right then and there. Claire and Jill were right; Leon was fast asleep in the middle of a New Year’s party. To say that was adorable would be an understatement.

“Gracias, señorita,”

Luis playfully flicked his wrist at Jill, causing her to scrunch her nose up with a smile.

“I’ll go rescue my Prince Charming from his slumber, eh?”

“Don’t let him miss out on the countdown!” Claire raised her glass towards the clock on the wall. 11:45 PM, it read. Luis shook his head and gave her an affectionate wink as he passed,

“Oh, no, I’d never let him miss out on such a monumental moment”

“He’ll bug you about it for weeks if you don’t”

Luis shot the both of them a quick grin,

“I’ll take my chances.”

Luis wasn’t sure how much better he knew Leon compared to his friends, but he knew for certain that his partner would infinitely rather sleep though the New Years Countdown than force himself to stay awake for it- he hardly got any sleep, after all. Missions kept him on his feet like a waking zombie.

Luis gently sat down next to Leon on the couch, carefully positioning himself so his weight didn’t dip the cushions enough to wake his Sleeping Beauty up.

He couldn’t help but just… stare at Leon for a few moments.

Seeing his partner so genuinely at peace was such a rarity for the both of them. Even early in the mornings when the two still had time to lie in bed, Leon would still insist on waking up first and getting himself dressed for no particular occasion.

Pure rest was hard to come by for the both of them- so Luis didn’t dare move a muscle to try and wake his lover. Despite the fact that the music was blaring and the people walking in circles around them were cackling louder than the showtunes on the radio.

“ Oh my gosh,” Ashley practically gasped at the sight; he voice lowered to a whisper despite it not being necessary. Luis flashed her a smile.

“ Is he asleep??”

“Yeah,”

Luis was practically giggling like a teenage girl, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of Leon’s face- his eyelashes fluttering against his freckles cheeks.

“ I might take him outside. Y’know, where it’s a little quieter”

Ashley made a noise that was somewhere between a squeak and an ‘ aaaaaawwweee!! ’, her hands clasped over her toothy grin.

“ That is so cute, oh my gosh!! He won’t wake up if you carry him, will he?? Wait, no- do you need help carrying him out?”

Luis huffed a laugh at Ashley’s genuine worry- giving her a quick peck on the cheek to ease her woes.

“ Your Príncipe will be just fine, Mariposa- And if he does wake up, I’ll just kiss him to sleep again”

Ashley gently shoved his arm, “ I don’t think that’s how the story goes… I think it’s the opposite way, Luis”

“Nah. You’re mad. Mad as a crazed man”

This caused Ashley to double down into laughter- clutching her stomach as Luis couldn’t help but giggle along at her amusement. He took the opportunity to slip his arms under Leon’s knees and back while Ashley was distracted, lifting his partner up with a slight grunt bridal-style.

Luis still struggled with his back from time to time. Most of the time, actually- and while tonight seemed to be one of his ‘better days’, those were, unfortunately, very few and far between.

Most of the time it just… ached. A guttural, bone-deep kind of ache that he could never assign a name for even on the best of days. Sometimes it was easy for him to stand on shaky legs and make his way to the other end of their shared apartment- but on other days, Luis genuinely couldn’t get out of bed. The pain gripped him so harshly that even his own medications wouldn’t provide him any relief.

There was a time where Luis refused those medications, too. Penance, he had said; a worthy punishment for his crimes. He knew now that it was just plain and simple self-harm, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

And oh, how he tried.

But, as always… Leon pulled him out of those endlessly deep waters tooth-and-nail. He spent many-a sleepless nights at Luis’ bedside just cooing to him and softly trying to convince him to just take his medications. And eventually, his struggles paid off. Luis didn’t think he’d have as much confidence and self-worth as he did now without that gentle push from Leon. But never once did his partner complain, no; he loved him back like it was as easy as breathing.

Hell, even on nights where Luis tossed and turned- back wet and eyebrows knit together as he dreamt of the knife to his back, the Plagas wriggling around in his chest, the machine that tore his skin apart to remove it- Leon was always there, always by his side, to hold his hand and be there for him when he woke.

So carrying his lover Bridal-Style away from the crowded party and through the fly-mask screen door outside onto the balcony was the least he could do.

The screeeeeeeeeeck of the plasticky door handle was enough to get Leon stirring- because, somehow, picking him up and moving him halfway across the room wasn’t enough already- and Luis noticed near-immediately that his boyfriends eyes had started fluttering. So, as much as he wanted to dust the cushions off, Luis swiftly took a seat on one of the outdoor couches that sat tucked up against the corner of the balcony- it smelt old and it was far from soft. Weather-worn from spending years outside. Bugs buzzed around the blueish overhead light, occasionally flying close to Luis’ hair.

But he didn’t mind. As long as Leon didn’t wake up.

“ Luis…?”

Ah, damnit.

“ Amoooorrr,”

Luis cooed, placing an arm around Leon’s side as he coaxed his head back onto his lap, running his free hand through that dusty-blonde hair he’d gotten familiar with gently grasping onto.

“You should be asleep, no?”

“ Rrrwe outside…?”

Leon’s words were slurred and probably almost entirely intelligible if it weren’t for the fact that Luis knew him well enough to know what he was trying to say. He nodded,

“Sí. You were falling asleep on the couch inside. Figured being out here might be a little nicer for you”

Leon didn’t respond at first. He just rubbed his eyes and yawned; and Luis felt his heart squeeze at the sight. Leon instinctively curled against Luis’ lap even further, and his lover took that as a sign to gently drape the thin-fabric blanket over his body and card his fingers through his hair lovingly.

“ It’s nice,”

Leon finally mumbled.

“ ‘S quiet. But, like, I can still hear everyone inside.. just… muffled.”

That much was true. Through the fly-screen door, the distant sound of music and laughter and drinks being clinked together bounced off of the ceramic-tile floors and echoed along the balcony. It was nice. Comforting. Comforting to know that the people who loved them both were just a door away.

Luis couldn’t remember the last time he experienced something quite like this. Maybe when he was a child, after late-night Church ceremonies, when his Grandfather would pick him up and drape his tired body over his shoulders while waving goodbye to their neighbors- the distant sounds of bells and singing and laughter growing more and more distant the closer to their little cabin they got. Laughter would be replaced with the soft swooshes of water lapping against the shore, yet those bells could still be heard if he listened out hard enough. Even as he fell asleep Luis could swear he could hear the scratches of his Grandfather’s pen against paper from the other room.

It was funny how some things just… never changed.

‘Funny.’ More like terrifying.

Guilt and anxiety were very, very powerful feelings, Luis had learnt. He’d spent a very large majority of his life totally convinced that he was a bad person; that he’d hurt everybody and everyone around him and that the cycle of death and destruction that seemed to follow in his wake everywhere he went would never end. He’d forced himself to accept that, a long, long time ago- that there was no opportunity of forgiveness for him. That he was always doomed to make the same mistakes over and over and hurt everyone who’d ever loved him and never be worthy of change. Never be worthy of love. But that didn’t stop the deep, nagging voice in the back of his throat that longed for hope. That crazy, almost quixotic desperation for a better life- a life he would fight tooth-and-nail for. That he’d get his knuckles bloody and bruised over. That he’s loose teeth and morals for.

And learning that his cycles could be broken, and that he was deserving of love was… hard. It was hard to accept change. It was hard to sit with and come to terms with all of the people he had hurt and still accept love from others- from Leon. But once again…

Leon loved him so easily, it felt like breathing. And Luis would be a damned dishonest liar if he didn’t admit that loving Leon back felt just as easy as spinning his lighter between his fingers.

It was just hard to understand why Leon loved him. It was hard to carry around reminders of the things he had done and still live a good life in spite of them all- it was hard to accept good things in life, and even harder to pick up and carry the good things that had happened in the past, too.

But he wasn’t alone anymore. He didn’t have to be alone anymore- he knew Leon faced many of the same trials and tribulations as he did. But just like his nicknamesake Sancho Panza, Luis would never leave his side as his Don Quixote, and vice versa. No matter what adventures their lives took them on, they’d always have each other.

They were completely, and utterly devoted to each other. In every way, in every universe.

“The rain is nice…”

Luis jumped slightly; not expecting Leon’s voice to break him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed that there was any rain at all- but once he noticed, he couldn’t tear his eyes off of it. The thundering against the plastic shutters and the slow, methodical drips of water dipping past the cover was enough to make Luis himself feel sleepy. But he had a Prince Charming to keep an eye on.

“I thought you fell asleep, ¿mi vida?”

“M’ tryin’ not to…”

Luis couldn’t help but chuckle; Leon’s sleepy and relaxed voice made his chest feel soft and pliable in all the best ways possible. He continued running his fingers through Leon’s hair, subconsciously pulling out his lighter from his pocket and twirling it in small circles between his fingers.

“You can fall asleep if you want to,” Luis assured, “I can wake you up when the countdown starts, if that’s what you’re worried about..”

“Don’ care about the countdown…”

Leon let out a big, long sigh and snuggled his head further into Luis’ lap, curling the blanket around himself further.

“I jus’ wan’ be with you..”

“But I’m right here?”

“Yeah, but like… I don’t wanna, like, fall asleep, an’ just leave you all by y’self on the couch here”

Luis had to physically restrain himself from sobbing and kissing Leon right then and there.

“I’ll be fine, amor,”

He instead chose to lean down and gently place a kiss on top of Leon’s messy, mop-like blonde hair, his eyelashes fluttering shut for just a moment.

“I’d rather you get some rest. You clearly need it”

“Y’ sure you don’t mind?”

“ Sin duda.”

“But what about-“

“ Leon, Sancho, love of my life,”

Luis grinned boyishly and ruffled his lovers hair,

“Get some rest, por favor. For me?”

Luis heard Leon let out a big, long, and expectedly tired sigh.

“…Ok. Thank you, dove”

“No need to thank me,”

Luis leaned down once more and kissed the side of his head once again,

“ I’ll be right here when you wake up. Te lo prometo.”

And just like that, Leon fell back asleep quicker than Luis could finish the twirl of his lighter. He clearly needed the rest.

His gentle snores, soft rising of his shoulders and the pitter-patter of rain was enough to make Luis feel totally at ease- and the distant, muffled and warm sounds of laughter from inside of the house had just about sent Luis into his own slumber himself.

Yes, Luis wondered a lot what death would look like. But he was no longer scared of it. He hoped it was like falling asleep on the couch during a house party as a child and being carried to your room by your parents to be tucked into bed.

He knew he lived a good life. He knew he had people who loved him, and that was more than enough for him.

If Luis died tomorrow, he wouldn’t mind all that much. He’d be happy with where he was, and who he loved.

He’d be happy that he chose love. He’d be happy that he chose Leon.

And he’d be happy that Leon chose him back, too.

“The countdowns starting!!”

A voice from inside- Ashley, if he had to guess- yelled out through the walls. Luis instinctively snuggled Leon in closer, his eyes fixated on the rain.

Leon didn’t wake up. But he didn’t need to.

“3!!!”

“2!!”

“1!”

“Happy New Years!!!!!”

Luis leaned down to kiss Leon on the forehead once more. He was still asleep.

“ Te amo, Leon..”

He whispered into his ear. Barely audible above the rain and the cheering from inside.

‘ I love you ’ felt like too weak of a sentence to describe just how Luis felt about Leon. It didn’t encapsulate everything that man meant to him.

But it didn’t have to. It would be enough.

Leon loved him back. He knew that. And that was enough.

They’d always be enough.

“… And Happy New Year.”

[the-lark-ascending69]

lumaxramblings here (it's a sideblog so !!!) and thank u for the nancy whump, you've done the people a service <3 ouch. shit. fuck. that shit hurted <33

nancy's recovery must be pretty hard huh

@lumaxramblings !! Omg hii! I'm so happy you liked it i was worried it would be a bit too much/unasked for lol. But yes I love whump, I love ronance whump, regardless of who is in the whumpee/caretaker role. Robin and Nancy in canon have this dynamic in which Robin is kinda looking to Nancy for comfort, sacurity and guidance and Nancy is happy to provide that, so it's kinda intuitive to imagine whumpee Robin and caretaker Nancy but... whumpee Nancy just hits all the best notes too, because she's already gone through so much pain... Robin would be an amazing caretaker and exactly the person Nancy needs at the moment.

Nancy's recovery is a very rocky process indeed. Her whole family left when they thought she died, and the rest of the party still kept intermitent contact with Mike for some time, but I think that at some point the Wheelers must have changed their number without much regard for Mike and his friends and effectively cut short any way for Steve and Robin to contact them, so she's pretty much an orphan right now. Her mom and dad left. Doesn't help much. Though the kids (now entering highschool) are so excited to see her, especially Dustin, who always thought Nancy was really cool and is super happy to see her, but the three of them genuinely cry when they get her back. It's actually pretty overwhelming for her. Though I'm getting ahead of myself.

During the first day after her rescue Nancy is kinda like.. floating. Kinda peacefully going along with whatever Robin and Steve suggest. It's just the three of them in Robin's cozy little house in the outskirts of town. The doctor said she needed rest so Robin acts like a tiny helicopter parent always fluttering around her making sure she's well-fed and helping her get around the house, trying to keep her in bed most of the time and doing everything she can to keep her entertained. Afaik according to the book Robin doesn't own much technology other than her walkman and her language and music tapes, and her parents have a record player, so that's pretty much everything she has to offer Nancy, but listening to her parents' old Fleetwood Mac albums on repeat may not be the most entertaining activity for Nancy, so she offers her books instead - she even offers to read for her the ones in other languages, but Nancy seems uninterested in music and books. When she doesn't react to Robin's suggestions, Steve says she's overwhelming her, which is true, but really Nancy has become so accustomed to lying still in her cell with zero stimulation, that it doesn't even bother her anymore.

It's towards the end of the day that it dawns on Nancy that she's not dreaming, that they found her and brought her back and now she's in a strange girl's bed recovering from a few broken bones, soft and warm and safe for the first time in years. She unintentionally wakes Robin up in the middle of the night when she begins to sob. Robin doesn't know if something hurts or if she's having some sort of flashback or panic attack, and she can only think of holding her hands to ground her, but Nancy doesn't want to be touched. When Steve shows up and tries to hug her, she flinches away. She's crying why, why, why? As if she didn't understand why they took her away from her captors. Robin tries making some tea for her, but Nancy doesn't drink it. They wonder if she needs space, but when Steve asks her if she wants to be alone, Nancy holds onto his and Robin's hands so tightly they conclude she's asking for company, so they stay awake all night, next to her. She stops crying at 4am, and stares at the closed window until 8am, when she finally falls asleep. It's only been one day and it's already exhausting.

Steve and Robin wouldn't have it any other way though.

[good-beanswrites]

...*comes waltzing back through the revolving door* hhi. hi im back 🥺 I heard you were still open for drabble prompt requests so uhhhhh *slides my request across the table* here you go! 👉👈 (btw I am eating well tonight with all of these drabble fics omg thank you for writing these!!)

33. Wedding + Kazui

Hiii you're back!! :D Thank you so much, this had so many interesting possibilities ough... I ended up going with a convo with Mahiru (I hope you don't mind a second Mappi drabble lmao) as he reminisces about his past. Go vote your sad wet cat innocent today 👍

A hand darted out to grab Kazui’s wrist. Mahiru’s voice was weak.

“Can you stay? Shidou is going to be a minute. I don't want to be alone.”

Kazui was supposed to come in, drop something off, and return back to his cell quickly. He didn’t know how to comfort someone like Mahiru in general, nor did he know what to say after all that had happened. He hated the idea of seeing her like this when he was the one who hadn’t reached her in time. He really didn’t want to stay.

“I’d love to.”

He sat beside her, trying to make himself comfortable on the cool cell floor. 

She retracted her hand. “Thank you.”

Before Kazui could even wonder what a young woman like her would want to talk about, she whispered, “can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if it makes you upset.”

He was already regretting his decision. “Go ahead.”

“Could you tell me about your wedding?” Kazui felt his chest tighten. “I always dreamed of mine. You know, I had the whole thing planned already. He never even knew…” She laughed, but quickly winced in pain. “Things may have… changed between you two.” 

Kazui had been careful to hold details of his life closer than some of the other prisoners. None of them had a very good idea of what had brought him here -- he felt bad that Mahiru may have been under the wrong impression of his marriage. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time.

She asked, “but the wedding day itself… is it just as magical as everyone says?”

Despite the dim lighting, surrounded by a mess of bandages, Mahiru’s eyes glimmered.

“Yes,” he lied. 

“I knew it…” 

He couldn’t fabricate exactly what she was looking for. So he told her what he’d told himself many times before. It was the truth. Technically speaking, that is.

“That morning,” he began, “you wake with your stomach in knots. You feel the anticipation in your whole body.” He kept up a smile, and she seemed to buy it. “I’m a pretty organized guy, so I thought I’d be thinking about all our plans -- the schedule, guests, food, things like that. But I wasn’t worried about any of it. The only thing in my mind, all day, was her. And the many, many years ahead of us. The time stretches on for miles in front of you.”

Mahiru let out a content sigh.

“And everyone's so happy. I’ve never had that many people excited for me and my life. It’s everywhere you look. You breathe in and you can practically taste their joy.”

“Oh, that must be wonderful.”

“Y-yeah. It sure is something. And of course, when you see the other all done up for the first time, walking towards you with a huge smile, tears in their eyes… I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“What about the vows? And the rings? Is it really so special?”

“Of course. When you put on those rings, you feel inseparable.” Kazui folded his hands together. Hopefully Mahiru couldn’t see he’d taken his off. “You feel connected to them. You know you’re going to be with this person forever.”

She let out another dreamy sound, though he was beginning to falter. He was grateful when Shidou entered, apologizing for the delay. 

Kazui stood, offering one last smile. “I hope you can rest.”

“Oh, yes, especially now. Thank you. That was all so perfect.”

He turned to leave, his own words still echoing in his mind. His hand drifted into his pocket, brushing against the small silver piece.

You’re going to be with this person forever. 

On that day, it had seemed like a curse. Then again, on that day, ‘til death do us part’ seemed a lifetime away.

[johnslittlespoon]

It just makes so much sense that you were writing in 2013, you have the unhinged vibe that the golden fics from that era had.

I'm just here to compliment you really lol, mostly because I am giving a try to write a lil something for the first time and god I can only dream of ever being able to write as good as you. I've been writing poems and music for years now but i find writing actual coherent storys with characters and dialogue so so hard.

I was wondering if you have any tips, or like little rules you follow when you write.

all the love, xxx

🌷

I'M GONNA CRYYYY this was the sweetest thing in the world to wake up to wtf wtf <333 thank you SO much, i really appreciate this wahh my heart :'))) but also you are SILLY. don't compare yourself to others!! if we all did that constantly we'd never get anything written!! there are SO many authors i adore on here that will always have me chasing the "i wish i could write like that" feeling and it's a great motivator but alsooo at the end of the day. you gotta fall in love with your own words and characters and stories <33

and i feel that so much!! we are twinsss, i also started out writing poems and music and then realized i had stories i wanted to tell that wouldn't fit in shorter form, then discovered fanfic in middle school in the early '10s and it was all downhill from there LOL. truly such a golden era tho oh my god. growing up reading the hat fic and borderline illegible wattpad stories was certainly... formative!

yapping ahead vv (i don't have much advice bc i'm still just learning as i go but hopefully some stuff i picked up on can be a bit helpful!)

i have zero method to the madness when writing so it's a relief to know it doesn't come off that way LOL but i do have a few little things that i follow and i always look for them when beta–ing as well! they're pretty small technical things and they're generally up to personal preference, but some of them come from authors i admire and i think they can really take anyone's writing up a notch <3

i don't feel qualified to give advice because i'm just raw–dogging everything lmao i've never taken classes or anything, so take all this yapping with a grain of salt bc it's just what's worked for me!

– i try to use descriptors like "the man" or "the blond" or "his friend" etc sparingly. i wish i could remember the source, but i read a great piece about why it's better to just go with the character's name 99% of the time, and then i went through so many of my works to edit them and i felt so much more confident in my writing afterwards– it made a big difference in readability (imo).

ofc there are exceptions, like if the name of a character is unknown, or if there are too many names being thrown around in one sentence and a "the man" or "the soldier" etc just sits nicer. i definitely still use them occasionally! but it does sometimes put some distance between the reader and the story when those descriptors are used too often instead of names, so it's a good thing to keep an eye out for when it comes to flow. sometimes less or more or whateva ??

– sorta on the topic of less is more, i love challenging myself to show vs tell when i can! whether it's by keeping dialogue short and letting actions speak instead (can add to intimacy/realism– we communicate so much through body language yk), through metaphors (literally how my whole '#john egan is dog coded' fic was born LOL), or describing feelings rather than spelling them out (his heart ached vs he was sad, his pulse raced vs he was scared, you get the gist). you said you've been writing poems so i feel like stuff like that would already probably come easily to you tho! <3

– this guide on ao3 is great for smut writers! whether someone's a beginner or just looking for ways to elevate the filth, i found it really helpful, it's a fun read as well lol. it calls out stereotypes/cliches and teaches you how to reword them, gives lists of slang and reactionary words, do's and don't's, etc. i don't follow everything in it but that's the beauty of writing; we all have things that work for us and things that don't and that's so okay. :-)

– in the same way that artists use references to practice and find their style, you can do that with writing too! i know a lot of writers have a doc or note where they jot down stylistic things they find while reading that they'd like to emanate, or words they want to use, specific phrases, descriptors, etc. if i'm reading a fic and find an auditory descriptor i like, i might take note of it, stuff like that. sorta like a text document version of a pinterest board!

– thesaurus.com is my best friend truly. often going with the 'simplest' version of a word makes for smoothest reading so someone isn't taken out of the story being like wtf does that word mean lol but sometimes things can feel repetitive, or like there just needs to be a little bit more spice; i probs go back and forth btwn my doc and thesaurus a dozen times an hour tbh.

that's all i can think of rn and ik those are pretty basic so i'm sorry about that!! i really do just kinda write what evokes emotions in myself, and then i hit post and hope it translates over to whoever is reading too :') drawing from your own experiences if you can/really sitting with what the characters would be feeling in whatever scenario you're writing is probably the most powerful way to present what you see in your mind.

i have a hard time writing about emotions/things i haven't personally experienced, so i usually stray away from it out of fear of not getting across what i want to, but some people are great at winging it and putting themselves in unfamiliar shoes so!! it's again just personal preference really.

and alsooo be kind to yourself! i'm an anxious wreck every time i post any of my writing, i am very much not confident when posting new fics and i agonize over my docs so much and trash a lot of works, but i know at the end of the day i can't grow or learn if i don't get the words down, and i can't get feedback or gain confidence if i don't post. becoming your own hype man and giving yourself the opportunity to improve is essential <33

sooo much love and best of luck!!! lmk if you end up writing smth, i'd love to read it (◠‿◠✿)

[boookfreeak]

happy birthday bestie!!!!!! wishing u a wonderful day and week ahead <33

thank you sm!! 🥹 hope you have a wonderful YEAR my dear

[tetzoro]

Happy Friday and happy November Aims!!!!

This may be my first time fully experiencing tetzoro month! And happy first birthday to precious little Obi!

I’m going to take a page out of your book and try to look at the winter months as cozy and full of love and gratitude :) I’ve been bummed about the days getting shorter BUT I shall focus on re decorating for the last month of fall before I go full steam ahead on Christmas decorating. Can you believe my brother in law was playing Christmas music this morning?! 😂

I hope you had a great Halloween and you have a wonderful Friday 💕

happy november sweet ariel :3 tetzoro month is just me yapping about tetsu + zoro but with added fanfare LOL i have a lot of fun with it :( the brainrot gets dialed up !!!

and EEEP obi ( ⓛ ω ⓛ *) !! he and his big ole eyes hehe his bday is on the 15th !! i’m soooo mushy over the fact he’s going to be a year old :( !!!! <33 my littol baby ! 🥺

it is a bummer that the days get shorter but it just means we get the chance to make the most of em ^_^ i loooove decorating teehee when do you usually start for christmas ?? im excited for it !! i always love seeing all the lights 🌟 but thanksgiving first . and i’m sooo so ready for it i can hardly wait !! 🦃

but i’m gonna be so real rn. i also listened to some christmas music this morning BAHAHAH just one song i promise . i have this running joke with one of my friends and on every Nov 1st i send him a merry christmas text (just bc it riles him up) so it felt fitting !

[paulisded]

The Ledge #623: New Releases, Pt. 2

The second episode of this month's new release series picks up right where last week's ended. Bracketed by two wonderful singles by Hayley and the Crushers, the two hour broadcast features almost a dozen tracks from our friends at Rum Bar Records, a handful of tunes from a great new tribute to Dischord Records, returns from veteran artists such as The Loons, Pat Todd & The Rankoutsiders, and Johnny Moped, and a ton of punk, power pop, and straight ahead rock and roll.

Also, please head to YouTube and subscribe to our channel - Public Domain Classics 888. We have over 250 classic films from over 110 years of releases! 

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE SHOW!

1. Hayley and the Crushers - Alleyways

2. Pavid Vermin - Excremental Feast on the Decomposing Remnants of Humanity

3. Muck and the Mires - Zoom Breakup 

4. The Hollywood Stars - Taxi Driver

5. Travis Ramin - Right Hot Dog Wrong Bun

6. The Carnivals - Greasy Pole

7. Junior Varsity - Back To Reno

8. The Scrimshanders - SXMW 

9. J Prozac - Obsession

10. The Cretins - Stuck In Yesterday

11. The Wynotts - Antidote

12. Boris The Sprinkler - I Wanna Dance Like Professor Plum

13. Kelley Stoltz - Hide In A Song

14. Motorists - Decider

15. Honey Radar - English Costume

16. The Second Summer - Something

17. Dehd - Necklace

18. The Peawees - Plastic Bullets

19. Good Looks - Can You See Me Tonight?

20. Broken Gold - Bad Days

21. neutrals - That's Him On The Daft Stuff Again

22. Shellac - Girl From Outside

23. Pat Todd & the Rankoutsiders - Why I Sing

24. The U-Bombs - Choice?

25. Johnny Moped - Lockdown Boy

26. The Dismemberment Plan - Unrequited

27. The Pietasters - Look Back and Laugh 

28. Dot Dash - My Girl Gloria 

29. American Television - Bad Mouth 

30. Bad Nerves - The Kids Will Never Have Their Say

31. 20th Century Boys - Come On Jason

32. Rural France  - The Song She Skips

33. Dressy Bessy - Teenage FBI

34. Hayley and the Crushers - Unsubscribe

[non-neutoniangender]

So I finally got my life together enough to continue my C3 watch... I'm still at 33, I've made more progress on C1 recently. Finally the combination of finding Mini Metro and actually logging onto Tumblr on the web made the barrier of watching Those Episodes bearable.

Spoilers for ep 33 and minor vibe spoilers for episodes in the future that I'm not sure of but its all stuff I absorbed via osmosis and fandom.

It's been almost a full year since these episodes came out and I was mindlessly scrolling Tumblr during my 10am linguistics lecture and stumbled upon everyone panicking because of the lack of diamonds for the amount of people who died. Anyway.

The anxiety of not quite remembering exactly I learned happened is not doing me any favors, but good god, I can really only handle some of this stuff not watching live.

Anyway, here are some assorted thoughts:

Liam you really did not have to make me Feel Things about Orym and his husband while Orym is passing out.

Laudna what is that spell that adds hit dice, that is So Good

Good GOD Otohan is not pulling any punches.

.....this is so close to TPK wow.....

Matt hesitating before essentially killing his wife's character, but doing it anyway.....

It's really interesting to see so many of them up and huddled around the map, things are really getting heated, with Liam just living behind Ashley and Laura's chairs.

"I don't want to be the only one not dead" followed immediately by "soometiiimees you gotta cut a bitch" Yes Travis, that is the correct energy to bring to this clusterfuck.

:OOOOO Not the natural 20 to fucking save Laudna

Begging the DM for the extra hit point like its gonna matter lmao

"I should be more complete at my job" Good GOD

The sending stone 😢

And there's the first one

"We've met before" 😒😒

The sense of failure, the bitersweet feeling of seeing Will and Derrik again 😢😢

I hate it for them that they are getting important lore while they are on the verge of a TPK and loosing their characters

and yet they make jokes like "we can't afford that Sam" to careless whisper

"He is not a creature at the moment" :O omg. Ow. God that hurts.

I gotta say, I'm really enjoying seeing all these hail mary type moves.

You really only see the uber creative dumb shit Hail Mary calls when things are extremely dire.

I love how Beau's voice and mannerisms sneak out a lot as bits and jokes

And there's the second

"That was a helluva run" 😢

"Embrace it or be culled like the rest" oh my god

"That brings us straight to your initiative because everyone else ahead of you is dead" Oh my god Matt

If this actually tpk'd, this would probably be in the running for the longest, most painful tpk. Usually its all at once, rocks fall, everyone dies, the dragon breath attack....

Something about Travis repeating "do you fight it" to laura is so sweet to me.

Also Imogen is making such a wild decision mid potentially worst day of her life omg.

"Save your last line, you might still have a chance" Damn Matt you didn't have to be Like That

"I give in, and I fuck Chetney" "We all do at some point" 🤣

"Is she your favorite" and the immediate "I'll go with you, I give in" oh my god. Having seen that clip of Laura being like 'I didn't know Imogen was in love with Laudna' oh my god the pining is there.

Oh shit the whole city is turning red.

And THATS the end..................

I was gonna go to bed but........ Maybe I can afford to make 1 poor decision

I love the friendship, everyone congratulating each other and matt, no hard feelings. But I wonder how many people are rolling up characters just in case cuz oh my god.