#have a miserable meditation
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I’ve decided I only like Ascended Astarion when he’s fucking miserable and furiously trying to convince himself that everything is great now!!
Yeah, he’s powerful and never has to be afraid ever again! But his friends can’t stand the sight of him anymore, not after the choices he’s made and what he’s become. The people he loves want nothing to do with him. Best case scenario (debatably), his lover is still so lost in ‘I can fix him’ sauce that they let him make them a spawn, and once the power high wears off, he’s going to realize that he trapped this person in a love they can never leave. Is it still love, if they don’t really have a choice? He could make them a true vampire too, but would he? That would make him vulnerable again. That would mean they would be free to leave if they want to. Could he take that risk now? No. He made this choice to be powerful enough that no one could ever hurt him again. He’s not giving that up.
Was this really what he wanted? Alone, even if he’s surrounded by spawn and others fawning over him for a taste of his power and wealth? He had a taste of real love and friendship once, just for a little while. Now he’ll never have it again. But he’s going to fight tooth and nail to convince himself he’s got everything anyone could ever want.
#baldur’s gate 3#i love the tragedy of it all#sleep well with your bad decisions astarion#not that you sleep of course#have a miserable meditation
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
PSA:
If you get a dog, you should crate train it.
If you don't want to crate train your puppy bc it 'makes them sad', you are missing an opportunity to raise them up without anxiety.
if you have a dog, you should find out and know what it actively does when you're not there- not just when you leave, but when you're not there. 20. 30. 60 minutes after.
Why?
Because separation anxiety feels horrible for dogs, and sounds horrible to your neighbors. If your dog has separation anxiety, it is your responsibility as your caretaker to do everything you can to ameliorate this condition.
#currently having to look at buying a sonic anti bark device#bc my nighbors dog barks ALL DAY for HOURS into the night when she leaves the house#and half the time she leaves it on a walled patio#which for some reason makes it bark more and also amplifies the bark#the dog clearly has miserable separation anxiety and afaik she's doing....nothing abt it.#guess what my job is? ....#to take calls and meetings with ppl who pay me to talk to or meditate with them#kind of hard to do that while there is a panicked dog in the background!!!!!#FOR 6-8 hours a DAY!!
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
working with my period instead of against it has been so healing
#I think we’ve grown to just ignore the fact that our bodies have these functions and just keep working working working#and suppress our cycles with birth control#and power through our periods when we do get them#and then wonder why were so miserable#our bodies are different and should be treated as such#even the way society is constructed is built completely to the advantage of males and their hormonal cycles#we shouldn’t be fasting or working a 9-5 every single day or doing intense workouts everyday of the month#thoughts#when I started using herbs and teas to support my hormones increase my progesterone naturally meditating when I’m deep in luteal anxiousness#castor oil packs to support my uterus#I feel worlds better already and it’s only been 2 months#it’s crazy to think how much harder my life has been because of my period#sometimes I wish I could turn back time and do life healthy but everything in divine timing I guess
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#word vomit alert!!!!!#i love solo trips out bc i get to do whatever i like without having to make conversation with people but omg.......#this trip has evoked alarming levels of loneliness and melancholy for some reason#maybe it's got something to do with just seeing Too Many People at once... and seeing people live their lives and enjoy company#n then i see myself n while i see an independent carefree person who's at peace with herself there's also a tinge! of! melancholy n pining..#for companionship... for easy conversations... for connections!#i was also listening to Fourever while roaming around aimlessly and when Happy started playing i immediately teared up#i think i just have too many things on my mind djskfksmmdskkd i need to get back to journaling n meditating. too much anxious energy#also during dinner i sat next to a couple who seemed to be on their first date post dating app conversation. n it reminded me of my prev rs#dkfkfnmsfndnmdm i wouldn't call it ptsd bc they were good memories but personally i would most likely never use a dating app ever again.....#it's just too much pain having to talk through icebreakers n get to know each other with the topic of Dating already looming in the bg#n it's just a lot of Work for a first date you know??? anyway i'm tired of relationships. i would love organic platonic companionship tho#like i would love more friends. just not a Partner shdkfjdndndmd#but with that said !!!! it's sometimes lonely being single. but the thing is. there's no company that i'd prefer more than my own#i bring too much joy and peace to myself that i feel like it's almost impossible for anyone to meet those standards#it's very much like that tiktok where op said her app guy asked her who his competition was and she answered: Myself. your competition is me#and that was just the truest thing i've seen#also met an unkind worker at dinner. wasn't directed at me but the energy he gave off was just so Bad that it ruined my evening KDKDJSKDK#like . how can someone be so miserable n unkind n mean to the people around him??? as if they aren't deserving of respect... it boggles me#n so todays trip has been so . strange. i felt sad! witnessed unkindness! i felt a little lonely!#i unknowingly self-reflected a lot n probably spiralled into a rumination cycle! thought abt work n how it seemed like there was No Way Out#but !! it is what it is!!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
every day i think OKAY tomorrow i’ll start building my life back up to normal i’ll function!! thrive even!!! and every tomorrow is just as bleak as yesterday
#i need to get my shit together but is there shit to be gathered when i’m this deep in a black hole of depression#and then i think ‘am i lazy??? am i not doing enough to help myself???’#story time i had a friend. one of my best friends even for multiple years. i helped her through shit and she helped me.#and then one day. after having to cancel because i had a panic attack. she sent me a message saying that it’s always the same shit with me#that i want to be miserable#it’s like one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me and i think about it every day#because i take meds i see therapists i fucking idk run and meditate and whatever the fuck not#in what world would i choose this#but then i’m like.. am i doing enough? is this all on me?#like it isn’t but.. what if it is?#idk had to rant ok bye
1 note
·
View note
Text
anyway in a violent nature isnt that terrible and also i kind of enjoyed the way it bored me a little. nice relaxing evening after work. i was going on mind journeys while watching this dude trudge through the woods over and over
#i didnt hate the experience of watching it until we got to the part where the final girl is in the car with that lady.#i was miserable for most of that scene begging for it to end.#avpost#like the hypnotic sounds of him stepping thru the woods. the repetitiveness of it all. i was just chilling. meditating even.#anyway this is why i always have to disclaim that i loved skinamarink when i saw it at the movies.#like i swear i can like a slow extremely repetitive experimental horror where fuck all happens. i just didnt like this one.#movie diary#also being that jason is my favorite slasher villain of course i was a fan of the guy in this movie :-) i like him. his mask is funny also
1 note
·
View note
Text
I've been going thru a major creative block recently and I'm really depressed over it
#there's so much stuff I want to do but can't#I'm trying to finish some valentines adopts that I want to sell but Im struggling to finish the linearts as well as find good colors#for the characters#I've also gotta publish the next chapter of my book which is late AGAIN#but every time I open the word document to write I cannot put down anything interesting or coherent#I tried to switch to preparing some draft one shots for ockiss week but even with that I'm facing the same issues#I talked to my therapist about my creativity block and she said I just need to carve out time for myself#like. alone time where I can be creative in a way where it also doesn't feel like a chore to make things#but I don't have the ability to make that time#between work and my datemate almost constantly being around I have no way to get that#and even during the times I do get to be alone all I want to do is scroll thru tumblr and reddit or watch videos#I can't even imagine amvs to music anymore for fuck's sake!#I'm literally always fucking tired and mentally drained#I can't do the things I once loved anymore because it feels too overwhelming to put in the energy#I've tried ti meditate too to see if that would help but my brain is constantly thinking#so that doesn't help at all#and I have nobody to talk to or interest in any media to help get the creative juices flowing again#AND on top of that everyone in my life just seems set to make sure I'm as miserable as possible 24/7#ok maybe that last part is just the depressing talking but it does still feel that way#I feel so lost man. I just want to sleep for 2 months straight#sam's rants about life
1 note
·
View note
Text
What Friends are for
Bakugo Katsuki x Fem!Reader. Katsuki cant masturbate, and it’s up you to help him out<3
I’ve been utterly obsessed with this headcanon since I saw it on AO3, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do
Cw: Masturbation, FWB, BJ, Ball play, Slightly Submissive Katsuki, only slightly MINORS DNI
Being insatiably horny with no release, was a frustrating situation for anybody, though for Katsuki it was worse, bordering on making him insane. He heard it all the time, his friends constantly spouting “just jerk off, it’ll calm you down!” And similiar nonsense that made his blood boil. As if jerking off could change the course of the planet like his classmates chalked it up to be.
It was hard to ignore though, the United Alliance dorms had been a cesspit of horny young adults since the 1st year. Though now the class were in their 3rd year of Class 1A and were all 18; Sex was the hot topic of the year.
He didn’t understand the logic behind it, but somehow once everyone became legal adults, the taboo flew out the window and immersed itself as casual conversation.
It was only last month that Denki and Kirishima made an attempt at the infamous ‘No Nut November”. Katsuki never bothered to ask how long they lasted, though was tempted to join the class betting pool on who would loose first.
Though in hindsight the NNN betting pool was a horrific idea, with half the class trying to set up Kirishima, and half the class trying to set up Denki. Katsuki is confident he never wants to see Mina dressed up as Midnight again after that ordeal, or Mineta in a maid costume.
He wouldn’t admit it within an inch of his life, but Katsuki had never successfully touched himself. There were multiple attempts of humping into his mattress, grinding himself against his pillow and even a weird porn meditation thing he found that was supposed to make him ‘cum with his mind’. It failed miserably, he doesn’t like to think about it.
The issue is his quirk, he can only stroke and pump himself for about 30 seconds until his palms start to spark and he ends up with burns all over his shaft. There are the options of hand free masturbating tools made for people with the same predicaments, though he couldn’t bare the humiliation if his classmates ever found out about it.
It wasn’t until he bit the bullet and tried to do it again. It happened like clockwork every few months, and it always ended the same unsatisfying and painful way.
It was 1am in the morning. Katsuki was rarely up this time of the night, but this particular morning he woke up with a painfully hard erection and his dick dripping precum from a rather erotic dream he had.
A wall away, you slept soundly in your bed, covers snug up to your chin as your heated mattress protecter added extra comfort to your needed slumber. Though that peacefulness was soon interrupted by the sound of small explosions and a frustrated groan coming from the wall opposite your bed.
Having Bakugo Katsuki as a dorm room neighbour was usually pleasant. Though despite his crude personality and edgy nature; he was a clean, quiet and reserved person. Respecting the quiet curfew of the dorms.
Hence why hearing him in distress was out of the ordinary, you shot up in bed, listening for more noises as you quickly emerged from your warm sheets.
Thoughts swarmed through your mind, was Bakugo sick? Having a nightmare? Lost control of his quirk?Did a villain get him?? You two were particularly close, and you came to the conclusion he couldn’t be too mad if you barged into his room at this hour. For all you knew, he could have lost control of his quirk and charred half the room by now.
Throwing on your warm oodie and a pair of slippers, you exited your dorm and walked the few metres to Bakugos door. Hesitating for moment on whether to knock or not, eventually deciding it was futile, how could he open the door and greet you if he was being attacked by a villain?
Despite expecting the dorm room to be locked shut, the door swung open after you gripped and turned the handle. Katsukis room was pitch black, only slightly lightened by the sparks emerging from his palms every few seconds.
The sound of fabric rustling and panted breaths filled your ears as you felt for the light switch, ready to activate your quirk any second incase there was actually a villain hiding somewhere around you. You finally found the switch and hit it, bright light encased the small room, revealing Katsuki sitting up on his bed.
Before you could properly stare at his horrified and bewildered face and red cheeks, your eyes caught on to the sight of his hard cock. Leaking precum into his sheets and bouncing back against his abdomen as he tried to shove it down.
He felt his aching dick twitch, he only felt himself grow harder as he looked at your face. It was grossly perverted and Katsuki damn well knew it. However it couldn’t be controlled after his vivid dream of pounding you into the mattress, the dream which brought him to his exact situation. The meek sound of your voice tore him from his racing thoughts.
“Bakugo… I’m so sorry… I thought you were in danger”
He swallowed, if he wasn’t in danger before then he definitely was now. Only god knows who you could message and call about this later, for all he knew he could go downstairs tomorrow only to be relentlessly teased for gawking at you as he sat there stark naked. He had to say something, before you-
Fuck… what? Why were you? He couldn’t believe his eyes as you walked up to where he was and sat beside him. You placed your hand over his with a small smile creeping onto the corners of your mouth. His throat felt painfully dry like it was filled with cotton.
“Kats… spill it”
“Spill what idiot? That you’re creeping into my room like a crazy woman, how dare-“
“Seriously, people don’t get hard and decide to explode their room at 1 in the morning.”
This was it, the moment of truth he had spent his teenage years dreading. To top this shitshow off, he would have to tell the truth to the person who got him all hot and bothered like this in the first place. Fuck, he couldn’t say it, he couldn’t admit that-
You interrupted once again.
“I’ve heard of this before, that some people get too… excited and set off their quirks when trying to pleasure themselves… is this the first time it’s happened?”
He swallowed his pride, there was no getting out of this one no matter how hard he tried.
“Try every time, I’ve never been able to fucking do it”. He growled, looking to the opposite side of the room to avoid meeting your gaze.
He began to mentally prepare himself to get the ridicule of a lifetime. Katsuki was what everyone wanted to be - strong, resilient, determined, and yet he couldn’t even jerk himself off.
“Can I help? If that’s okay…?”
The word please escaped his mouth before he could even think of a reply. He groaned as he realised how desperate he sounded for you to touch him.
Only moments later you pushed him down onto his plush mattress, wrapping your hand around his achingly hard length as it throbbed under your touch. His quiet groans quickly turning into a desperate moans as you started to stroke him at a slow pace.
The dream that awoke him only minutes earlier played back in his mind, his dick pulsated as he relished in the vision of you fucked out of your mind while his fat cock was stuffed into your soaked tight pussy.
He met your gaze through half lidded eyes, you smiled at him, signalling that it was okay. He finally felt himself relax into your warm and comforting touch, low moans escaping from his lips as you focused on rubbing his tip.
He would’ve thought by now he would’ve blown up his whole room, he wasn’t sure why his palms weren’t sparking and igniting. Though he chose not to dwell on it. Out of sight, out of mind he figured.
You stroked him slowly, trying to execute a confident demeanour despite the fact your mind was racing in a thousand different directions. You had your hands around the fat cock of Bakugo Katsuki, your only weakness and crush… no obsession of three long years. You had yet to be pushed away or blown to bits, so that had to be good news of some sort to indicate he was entranced as you were.
Your panties grew increasingly damp as you listened to his strained gasps, as much as you wanted to hop up and eagerly jump on his dick and have him make you his bitch until morning, this was about him and making him feel good.
Though it was now or never if you were going to tame the beast, slowly but surely you opened your mouth and wrapped your lips around his shaft. Without any warning, he bucked his hips into your face, his eyes rolled back into his head, your touch earning a whine from the back of his throat.
It took all his restraint not to fuck your throat until you were slobbering all over him like the slut he was going to make you. But his quirk hasn’t activated yet, and he wasn’t going to risk it happening in a moment like this.
You bobbed up and down, savouring his musky scent as you began to bring your focus to his throbbing tip yet again. Hollowing your cheeks as you sucked and swirled your tongue over him, tasting his slick precum.
An unexpected, high pitched whine filled your ears as you began to fondle his balls slowly, squeezing every now and then to truely give him the height of pleasure. Feeling increasingly proud of yourself as each ragged gasp emerged from him.
Katsuki couldn’t focus, completely blissed out at the exhilarating feeling of you pleasuring him with your lewd mouth. He always anticipated himself to be rough and dominant in the bedroom, though you had him trembling under your touch.
“Hnngg… feels so fucking good… keep- mhhmmm… going pretty girl”.
His husky voice was all you needed, sucking in a breath as you deepthroated his cock as you cupped and grabbed at his balls. You tried not to gag, his length was average but his girth was intense for a beginner like you. The corners of your lips aching as you struggled to envelop all of him into your mouth.
Katsuki suddenly grabbed a fistful of your hair as to try and suppress the urge to immediately spill himself down your tight throat. Where the fuck you leant this, he didn’t know. His face was flushed and his hair disheveled as you continued to suck him dry.
He hoped he’d have more warning to his impending orgasm, though as he felt his legs tremble and cock pulsate in your mouth. He could only manage to mutter a heads up.
“Fu… fuck.. nhgg… cumming”
You didn’t need to think twice, you wanted to feel his thick cum in your mouth as soon as the universe would will it, but it was no fun not seeing the action. Parting your lips from his dick, you gave him a few quick pumps as he quivered, spilling over the edge.
With a final grunt and a slight convulsion, he began to shoot his cum onto your face. The feeling of how his cock pulsated with each load made you weak. He knew there was nothing more fucking beautiful than the erotic look on your face as he ejaculated onto your lips.
His climax hit him like a freight train, shockwaves calming down in his body as his cock finally finished spilling itself. He looked at you, a dorky smile on your face as you gripped his hand.
He understood it all now, and there was no fucking way in hell he would ever participate in No Nut November with you around.
#mha#mha x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha#bnha smut#boku no hero academia#mha smut#katsuki bakugou#katsuki x reader#bakugo smut#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#bakugo katsuki
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
NOVEMBER CHALLENGE
YOUR NEW ROUTINE
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
ィ⠀*ring ring* your dream life is calling…⠀࿐
P.S. Make sure you have read THIS POST beforehand! I know this is called the November Challenge but you can use this routine anytime!! This is for people who are going to take their dream life seriously.
Hey Upper East Siders! Gossip Girl here and I have a “challenge” for you. I don’t want you to think about the life you could be living, but the life you will be living after reading this post.
You’ve been denying yourself of a beautiful life for a long time, and that ends now. And i’m sure since you’ve read my “I look forward to never seeing you again” post, you know exactly how the law of assumption works and exactly what you need to do.
So here’s your new manifestation routine, because I am not going to lay back and watch every single one of you live a miserable life and doom scroll on tumblr. I thought the season of horror movies was last month, yet you’re still watching. But not for long.
NOTE!!: When I tell you to “Imagine & feel”, I am talking about FULLY identifying with the INNER self. To read my post about how to imagine CLICK HERE (You should be fully immersed in your inner reality like HERE)
ィ⠀WAKING UP⠀࿐
-> The first minute right as you wake up is a really useful state where your subconscious is extremely susceptible to new assumptions & beliefs.
-> Imagine yourself having all your desires and the best self concept ever!!! Do this for as long as you want, until you are 100% certain that you have the best self concept and that you have everything you want in imagination. Your self concept = Nothing can “ruin” your manifestations because you already have them and you are above all your desires. You are on the pedestal.
ィ⠀THROUGHOUT THE DAY⠀࿐
-> Throughout the day when you find that your desires come to mind, go back to the state and just know that you have them. Feel yourself to have it in imagination. Imagine & feel. Have fun with it! Look at your vision boards, script, visualise, affirm, vaunt, do whatever you want as long as it fulfills you. DO THIS EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU THINK OF YOUR DESIRES!!!!
-> For those of you who are very busy throughout the day and don’t naturally think of their desires throughout the day because they don’t have time, set reminders on your phone!!! Download this app called “minimaList” on the app store, and you can set notifications! To download CLICK HERE
-> Set these reminders on your phone for every 1-2 hours so that you can dwell in the state of the wish fulfilled!!! e.g. A reminder goes off on your phone at 1pm which means it’s time to imagine & feel. Then another reminder goes off at 2pm or 3pm depending on what you choose telling you to imagine & feel. You can use a code word if you don’t want people to see the notifications on your phone. e.g. “I&F means to imagine and feel.”
ィ⠀GOING TO SLEEP⠀࿐
-> Do SATS as you are falling asleep. It’s alright if you don’t “succeed” when doing sats the first time. Control yourself from just falling asleep, keep persisting. This part is optional but it is very helpful to making your desires feel natural to you.
-> (Optional) You can also do an alpha state meditation right before you go to sleep. You can also do this alpha state meditation any time of the day when you are in a relaxed environment. -> CLICK HERE
-> At least ONCE a day, do this I AM meditation by Edward Art. -> CLICK HERE (NOT OPTIONAL!!!)
ィ⠀REASSURANCE VAUNT⠀࿐
EXPERIENCING THE 3D & FEELING DOUBTFUL
-> NOTE: Unidentifying with the 3D doesn’t mean to ignore the 3D. You are still experiencing the 3D in your day to day life, you simply cannot ignore it. All you can do is just not identify with it. How do you do this? When you experience the 3D, you do not assume that your 3D self is the real you, because your inner self is the real you! You view the 3D as nothing but an illusion based on past assumptions.
-> I want you to know that it’s normal to feel doubtful as the days go on when manifesting your dream life. But you HAVE to keep persisting and not let those doubts get to you. Keep going back to imagination & feeling!!! No matter what!!! Don’t EVER give up!! Don’t give up on yourself!! You don’t deserve that.
-> EVERY time you start to feel fear & doubt and the 3D becomes too overwhelming for you, read this reassurance vaunt by me. It will help you get back on track. -> CLICK HERE
-> When you feel doubtful or even unmotivated, you can read success stories on @loasuccessarchive and @voidsuccessarchive, but remember to ALWAYS go back to feeling!!!
p.s. nothing in this post is optional unless I have specified that it is!!! updated in correspondence to my new self concept guide!!!
DO NOT let anything get in your way. You are your inner self and you are God. Nothing can tell you otherwise.
- gossip girl
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
#void state#void#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loassumption#loa blog#loablr#manifestation#loa#the void state#loa challenge#loa manifestation#loa advice#loa manifesting#loa tips#void challenge#4d reality#realityshifting#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#affirming loa#reality shifting#self concept affirmations#i am state#edward art#neville goddard#liveintheend#live in the end#living in the end#dream life#desired reality
608 notes
·
View notes
Text
WAYS TO LIVE SLOWER IN 2025
2024 was such a blur for me, and I feel like I wasn’t really taking in the present moments as much as I should have. I don’t want to repeat the same thing in 2025, here’s a little few ways i’m implementing living slower in 2025.
SHOWER MEDITATIONS. Each time I’m in the shower, I just focus on rinsing, soap, rinsing then I get out. While its a small thing to consider, as someone who has a lot of thoughts especially during school mornings, it's a nice way to ground yourself.
If you’d like you can start off with a little prayer, thanking him for access to clean water and a bathroom. Let the water take all the struggles and stresses you have down the drain, use soap to renew yourself of yesterday for the new day and focus on how the water feels on your skin. Then, you can end it off with a prayer as well.
TAKE THE TIME TO BE IN THE SUN OR NATURE. Perhaps you can read a book, listen to a playlist or just soak that time spent in nature. It's completely up to you, but I wouldn’t do anything that's too distracting like studying or scrolling.
SAY THANK YOU, FOR NO ONE. Each time you get to sleep in your bed, say thank you. Each time you eat a meal, say thank you. Each time you get to have access to water, say thank you. There are a lot more opportunities to say thanks, but it just allows for daily appreciation of things that we do without thinking.
UNATTACH YOUR PHONE FROM TASKS. Certain tasks, you do not need your phone. For example, cooking. When you cook and perhaps you’re waiting for something to boil, wash some dishes instead of opening instagram. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be a task, when you’re in a car, don’t look at your phone, look outside at the window and observe the people or the cars you see.
NO SOCIAL MEDIA IN THE MORNING OR EVENING. Social media is meant for quick consumption, but because it's so quick, we underestimate the time that we spend on it. Only 10 minutes can easily turn into an hour. I would avoid using it during these times because this is probably when we’re the most easily influenced by fads, products or misinformation.
REST IS A TASK. Take the time out of your day to rest, because you need it. It doesn’t have to be a singular session daily either, it can be regular small intervals throughout the day. Use this time to reflect on how you’ve spent your time earlier, then do whatever you consider to rejuvenates you.
LISTEN TO YOURSELF MORE. While the self improvement community does perpetuate the idea of ‘following the plan, not the mood’, (and i agree to an extent) but being miserable while trying to be productive is not ideal. If you’re sad, take the time to calm yourself down. You’re angry, then channel it into something high energy but not necessarily productive.
In a way, being able to recognize these feelings and acknowledge them is a skill that is developed overtime and will be useful.
#becoming that girl#that girl#clean girl#green juice girl#winter arc#being productive#100 days of productivity#productivityhacks#productivityboost#productivity challenge#productivitytips#study productivity#mindfulness#meditation#gratitude#spiritual growth#selfgrowth#self awareness#it girl#it girl energy#pink pilates girl#pinterest girl#it girl tips#that girl lifestyle#glow up#pink pilates princess#that girl energy#that girl routine#dream girl journey#dream girl
456 notes
·
View notes
Text
‧₊˚✧ ❛[ to have & to hold ]❜
ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel
╰₊✧ you allow him to possess you entirely, body & soul┊1.2k words
kinktober 2024: oct 8. virginity loss
setting: logan (2017) old man! logan contains: fluffy smut!! dom logan & sub reader┊age gap, virginity loss, receiving oral & fingering, unprotected piv, abrupt ending
➤ author's note: i’m sorry for this being short and the abrupt ending, i’m just so tired from college because my substitute professor is a bitch and i have to work twice as hard just to get a 70% T-T the single mother reader is ending up to have three parts so look forward to that when kinktober is over teeheehee
your old man isn’t sure what kind of small deed of goodwill he must have done decades ago to deserve you, but it makes him perform more of them in his day-to-day life thanks to the existence of the biggest blessing of his miserable life. every time he comes back after a long day of work and dealing with customers of varying irritation levels, there you are patiently waiting for him no matter how late into the night it was. you help take off his suit jacket and tie in well-rehearsed moments, whistling a little old-timey tune on your lips and asking him how his day was.
he’s never really been a talkative guy, so most of the time he’ll just say it was fine and leave it at that, but occasionally, he’s willing to complain and vent about something that happened that got on his nerves. all the while, you’re finishing off a freshly cooked meal with garnish and serving it to him with a smile, listening to everything he has to say and massaging his weary muscles.
usually, however, you’re the one doing all of the talking, telling him about what happened today at work with that annoying co-worker and how you got invited to the wedding of an old friend from high school. he settles himself in the worn leather recliner and feels himself relax with your voice almost acting like a form of meditative music, and even if he doesn’t look like it, he listens to every word— you can tell because he doesn’t turn the newspaper page once and asks little questions like “who?” “when did that happen?” “is that so?” instead of just humming deafly.
he doesn’t even remember how you ended up moving in with him and acting like his housewife, giving him a taste of domestic life he didn’t realize he was yearning for. you’re just a stubborn little lady, he guesses, remaining persistent about how much you liked him despite his claims that you should steer clear of a bad man like him. he’s glad it ended up that way though, he couldn’t imagine where he would be without you by his side if you listened to him and went off with a human your own age who didn’t have the shackles he did.
there’s always a bit of lingering guilt regarding the last part, worried that he’s holding you back from fully experiencing life like a ball and chain bound to your ankle, but you were an adult who was mature enough to make your own decisions. if you didn’t want this, you wouldn’t have spent over a year trying to pursue it with someone as headstrong as him.
sometimes logan dozes off in that armchair, allowing you to drape a blanket over him and place a kiss on his forehead with a whisper of sweet dreams for the cherry on top. sometimes you coax him to join you in bed where it’s more comfortable, tangling your legs with his and clinging onto his frame like he was a giant living teddy bear. maybe he’ll do the same if he’s feeling particularly soft tonight instead of sleeping on his back like a soldier on active duty would. both of you always get a night of better sleep in the presence of the other, holding onto the dead weight of the other’s still body, feeling the slow rise and fall of their chest, and listening to their steady heartbeat.
yet your relationship had never gone past heated makeout sessions, not until tonight when you pleaded with him so sweetly to help you relieve the ache between your legs that you couldn’t fix yourself.
he’s hesitant at first, surprised at the slight and unfamiliar feeling of fear tugging at his consciousness. is this really okay? is a lovely angel like you really asking a dirty old man like him with the blood of dozens on his hands to be your first experience of something so intimate? he’s profoundly aware that he’s never been a good man, but maybe he would start now and let you go in your own direction…
before he could say anything, you reach out to kiss him, so tender and full of adoration to ease his worries. the way you look at him while gasping his name and making pleas for him is almost overwhelming with how blown-out your pupils are from need, looking at him like he was the only other soul in the world— like he was the only other soul in the universe who was meant to complete you.
he asks you one more time if you’re sure, absolutely sure, before taking the opportunity to
taste the sweetness of your arousal and quickly realize that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get enough anymore, scraping at the soft skin of your inner thighs with his beard although the pressure in your core overpowered the feeling of friction. your hands find their way into his graying hair and tug on them whenever he swirls his tongue around your engorged clit, making him groan and repeat the motion until you gush all over his mouth.
then he drags a calloused finger along your folds, collecting your slick and instinctively licking his lips at the sight of it despite just eating you out seconds before. his eyes aren’t really what they used to be, he briefly wishes he had his glasses on so that he could watch your virgin pussy take his index followed by his middle. even if he can’t quite see it clearly, he can certainly feel your walls pulsating at the intrusion as you let out a breathy whine.
you feel a bit dizzy already from your first proper orgasm, much less from the pleasurable stretch of his fingers starting to move in a scissoring motion as your cheeks burned in embarrassment from how intently he was staring like a man hypnotized. if you were in your right mind, you would have asked him to quit it, but all you were focused on was the unfamiliar feeling of tension in your torso while he praised how tight you were.
logan is exhibiting more gentleness with you than he’s ever been with anything in all his two hundred years, scared of hurting you and treating you like a fragile porcelain doll. you basically need to beg him to fuck you right because you worry you’ll be far too exhausted to continue if he continues like this, already reaching peak at least three times now and needing to pull at his belt to free his throbbing erection.
kiss him when he lines himself up with you and slowly pushes in, allowing you to feel every inch of him and taste yourself on his lips. claw long scratches into his back as you take him, allowing his regenerative powers slowly take effect yet still being able to leave lasting marks in his skin for him to admire the next day. tell him you love him when he finally bottoms out in you, watching him through teary eyes as he rests his forehead on yours, and listen to his beating heart open up to you as he tells you he does too.
#📜. her works#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel smut#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#old man logan#x men#x men x reader#x men smut
810 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Goes Up, Must Come Down ❀ includes: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Choso, Sukuna & Toji (REQUESTED) Masterlist
You lean in for a goodbye kiss, expecting a quick peck. Instead, Gojo Satoru pulls you in, kissing you deeply and passionately. You finally pull away, breathless. "See you later," you murmur, heading out the door.
As soon as you're gone, Gojo looks down and realizes he's in trouble. "Oh no," he mutters, staring at the obvious bulge in his pants. He has a meeting with the higher-ups in ten minutes, and he can’t show up like this.
He paces around the room, chanting, "Icebergs, taxes, Yaga in a tutu, Gakuganji in panties." Nothing works. He tries doing some jumping jacks, but that only makes things worse.
Desperate, he grabs a cushion from the couch and places it strategically over his lap, attempting to meditate the problem away. "Breathe in, breathe out," he tells himself.
But his mind keeps drifting back to the electrifying kiss you shared just moments ago, and his body responds accordingly. Gojo curses under his breath, realizing he's running out of time.
With a last-ditch effort, he splashes cold water on his face, hoping the shock will jolt him back to reality. It helps a little, but not enough. Gojo considers canceling the meeting altogether, but that would only raise suspicions.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the problem subsides. He quickly grabs his coat and heads out the door, hoping no one notices his flushed face or the slight disarray of his clothes.
You’re not sure why you decided to kiss Suguru so fervently this morning, but the moment your lips touch his, something ignites. Your hands tangle in his dark hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. When you finally pull away, his pupils are dilated, breath coming in short gasps.
“Wow,” he mutters, clearly affected. You glance down and see the prominent bulge in his pants. He shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair. “Uh, I might need a moment.”
You chuckle, feeling a bit proud of the effect you have on him. “I didn’t think I’d get you this worked up.”
He gives you a lopsided grin, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. “Well, you did. Now what?”
You look around and spot a nearby chair. “Sit down, relax for a bit. I’m sure it’ll pass.”
Suguru nods, taking a seat and trying to focus on anything but his current predicament. You watch him, amused, as he fidgets, crossing and uncrossing his legs.
“You know,” you say teasingly, “you could think about something unsexy. Like… taxes.”
He raises an eyebrow at you. “Taxes? Really?”
“Hey, it works for some people.”
Suguru sighs, leaning back in the chair. “I’ll give it a try, but no promises.”
You sit across from him, trying not to laugh as he closes his eyes, clearly attempting to will his arousal away. After a few minutes, he opens one eye and looks at you. “Any luck?”
“Not really. Thinking about you makes it worse.”
You smile sweetly. “Sorry, not sorry.”
He groans, throwing his head back in frustration. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Only if you’re lucky,”
Nanami is composed, always so composed. But when you kiss him like that, really kiss him, you see his carefully maintained facade slip just a bit.
“Darling,” he starts, voice steady but with an undercurrent of strain. “I need a minute.”
You glance down, and sure enough, there’s the telltale bulge. You suppress a giggle, earning a mildly reproachful look from him.
“Sorry, Ken,” you say, trying to sound sincere but failing miserably. “I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.”
He sighs, adjusting his tie in a futile attempt to regain composure. “I suppose it’s a pleasant sort of trouble.”
“Maybe think about your schedule for the day?”
Nanami shakes his head. “I’d rather not associate this feeling with work, thank you.”
You laugh softly. “Fair point. How about something mundane? Grocery shopping?”
He hums thoughtfully, closing his eyes. “That could work.”
You watch as he takes a few deep breaths, his expression gradually relaxing. After a few minutes, he opens his eyes, looking more composed.
“Better?” you ask.
He nods, standing and adjusting his suit once more. “Yes, much. Thank you.”
You lean in for a quick peck, and he chuckles. “Careful now, or we’ll be right back where we started.”
You grin. “Would that be so bad?”
Nanami shakes his head with a smile. “No, but I do have to go. I’ll see you later.”
You pull Choso in for a long, steamy kiss, your lips melding perfectly with his. As you step back, you notice his dazed expression and chuckle.
"See you soon," you whisper, leaving him standing there, flustered. Choso blinks, trying to process what just happened. He looks down, realizing his body's reaction to the kiss, and groans.
He quickly finds a secluded corner, leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths. As he waits for his arousal to subside, Mahito walks by, giving him a knowing grin.
"Having a bit of trouble there, Choso?" Mahito teases.
Choso glares at him, crossing his arms. "Mind your own business," he snaps, wishing the ground would swallow him whole.
Mahito chuckles, unfazed by Choso's irritation. "Just offering my assistance."
Choso rolls his eyes. "I don't need your help with anything."
Mahito shrugs, still wearing that irritating smirk. "Suit yourself. But if you ever want some pointers on how to handle these situations, you know where to find me."
Choso grits his teeth, resisting the urge to lash out at the curse. Instead, he focuses on his breathing, willing his body to calm down. After what feels like an eternity, his arousal finally begins to subside.
"Better?" Mahito asks, still grinning.
Choso nods curtly, pushing himself off the wall. "Much."
Mahito chuckles, patting him on the shoulder as he walks away. "Just remember, Choso, there's no shame in enjoying yourself."
"Piss off,"
Your lips crash into Sukuna’s with a fervor that surprises even you. His reaction is immediate, his grip on your waist tightening as he deepens the kiss. When you finally pull away, there’s a wicked gleam in his eyes, but then you notice his predicament.
“Leaving already?” Sukuna teases, his voice a low growl. “I thought we were just getting started.”
You glance down and see the obvious bulge in his pants. You smirk, feeling a bit smug. “Looks like you’ll need a moment.”
He raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You think you can just walk away after that?”
You laugh, shaking your head. “You’re not exactly in a position to chase me right now.”
Sukuna chuckles, the sound dark and rich. “Perhaps not, but you’ll pay for this later.”
You grin, unphased by his threat. “I’ll be waiting.”
He shifts, clearly trying to will his arousal away. You watch him with a mixture of amusement and admiration. It’s rare to see Sukuna at a disadvantage, even a small one.
“Need some help?” you offer teasingly.
He gives you a look that could melt steel. “Unless you’re offering more than just words, I’ll handle it.”
You laugh, stepping back. “Alright, tough guy. I’ll leave you to it.”
He grumbles something under his breath, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. After a few moments, he opens them again, more composed.
“Better?” you ask innocently.
Sukuna smirks. “For now. But I’ll remember this.”
You wink. “I’m counting on it.”
Toji is used to being in control, but your goodbye kiss throws him off balance. He grins at you, trying to play it cool, but you can see the slight tension in his posture.
"See you later, Toji," you say sweetly.
He gives you a lopsided grin. "Yeah, sure. Just... give me a sec."
You tilt your head, feigning innocence. "Why? Something wrong?"
He chuckles, shaking his head. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
You laugh and pat his cheek. "You love it."
As you walk away, Toji watches you with a mix of amusement and desire. He can't help but admire your confidence and the way you always manage to keep him on his toes. But as you disappear from view, he's left alone with his thoughts, and a certain physical reaction he can't quite control.
Toji leans against the nearest wall, running a hand through his hair. "Damn," he mutters to himself, cursing his body's betrayal. He's not used to feeling this flustered, especially not over something as simple as a goodbye kiss.
He takes a few deep breaths, trying to regain his composure. It's not easy, with your lingering presence still fresh in his mind. Toji closes his eyes, willing his body to cooperate. After a few moments, he manages to calm down, the tension easing from his muscles.
"Alright, Fushiguro," he says to himself, straightening up. "Get it together."
With a newfound resolve, Toji pushes himself away from the wall and heads off to face whatever challenges await him. But as he walks, he can't shake the memory of your lips against his, and the way you always manage to leave him wanting more.
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#jjk smut#geto x reader#jjk#jjk crack#choso x you#choso x reader#choso x y/n#gojo x you#suguru geto x reader#geto x y/n#geto x you#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji x reader#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento x you#kento x y/n#kento x reader
403 notes
·
View notes
Text
SVT's Partner Asks for Some Space
OT13!Seventeen x GN!Reader
SFW / Light angst ❤️🩹
You had a fight with your partner <SVT Member> and need some space to cool off before you talk again. Here’s how they take it:
s.coups: petty lol. he’s like “two can play this game.” and goes on an unannounced trip with his friends or something. it’s ultimately giving you what you want but he wants you to miss him as much as he misses you. you’re a little annoyed that he’s not being more mature, but you guys work it out after a while.
jeonghan: jeonghan is good at conflict resolution once he gets over his initial annoyance/fear about you not talking to him. though he often behaves like a menace, he’s a naturally fair-minded person, so he understands when you ask for some space and he comes around eventually to be impressed with you putting up a boundary. he’s still a little miffed, but he comes out of it admiring and respecting you even more.
joshua: he understands but he is saaaddd haha. he is nervous about what’s going through your mind. he ends up leaning on his friends a lot and going out drinking to distract himself. he doesn’t do anything irresponsible, but he has to work hard to restrain himself from texting you for reassurance.
jun: he struggles with this, but he will always respect your wishes. your needs are very important to him, and when he thinks more about it, it’s a wise idea to take some time to cool off. he’s sad without you for a bit but he knows that it will make the next time you see each other and talk things out much more constructive.
hoshi: stressed, miserable, hates this lol. he feels so bad about getting in a fight with you in the first place. he blames himself for making you feel this way and spends your time apart planning how to make it up to you. he respects your wishes, but he is very sad to not see you every day!!
wonwoo: he understands, and he’s honestly still lowkey pissed himself, so you both know space is a good idea. he’ll get really sad after a couple of days, though. he won’t be able to resist texting you after a few days to check in haha.
woozi: forever the suffer-in-silence type, he’ll pretend that it’s no big deal to give you your space but on the inside he’ll be really torn up. he’ll miss you like crazy and be so worried that this might mean the end for you two. it wasn’t that big of a fight, but his anxiety will amplify it in his mind. he’d never cross a boundary that you set, though. it’ll be a really nice make-up between you two just from all the relief that he will feel!
the8: thinks that taking some space after a fight is a very smart and reasonable idea, even though he will miss you. he spends his days meditating and breathing through all of his feelings so that when you see each other again you are both calm and collected. he really loves you, so he wants to give you what you need.
mingyu: mingyu is really good at giving you what you need, even when it makes him sad! poor puppy haha. he hates being away from you. he would pout and whine to his friends about your fight, and you would feel bad picturing him all sad and lonely without you. you wouldn’t go very long without talking, and he would be sooooo apologetic and affectionate when he saw you again.
DK: oh man, he hates this haha. he can’t concentrate, he’s got such low energy, he’s snapping at the other members... he’s so distracted by your request. he honors it completely, never wanting to upset you even more, but he is dramatic when you guys reunite. He gets all pouty and sad, saying you abandoned him. You find this childishness lowkey endearing though.
seungkwan: pissed lmao. What do you mean space? Fine! he’ll give you space! ends up getting competitive and ignoring you, even when you tell him that you’re ready to talk. “Well, I’m not!” he says lol. Big brat. You send him the eye-roll emoji and tell him to grow up lol. This cycle will continue for a few rounds until one of you caves and then you will have a very sweet reunion.
vernon: totally understands, he’s similar after a fight. he does think back to the fight and replays it in his head a lot while you’re taking some space from each other, which makes him end up feeling kind of nervous. He’s really glad when you text him a few days later and say that you miss him.
dino: aww, babyyyy haha. he understands but he is so saaadddd lol. He hates being apart! Especially when you might still be mad at him! There’s nothing he hates more than when you’re upset, especially if he caused it. he would be worrying the whole time you were taking space. You would know this, and wouldn’t wait too long to get in touch with him because you don’t want him to suffer suffer.
#seventeen#svt#seventeen kpop#seventeen fanfic#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#svt fanfic#svt reactions#seventeen angst#svt angst#kpop angst#kpop fanfic#scoups#jeonghan#joshua#svt jun#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#mingyu#minghao#the8#seventeen dk#svt dokyeom#seungkwan#vernon#choi hansol#svt dino#lee chan
328 notes
·
View notes
Text
Movie Lessons
(Part 3/3)
Part 2:
Part 1:
Alastor x Reader
A new day is dawning. Today you are up earlier than usual again. This time, however, you have no big plans. You just couldn't sleep anymore.
You walk down the stairs of the hotel and look around the lobby: Nobody seems to be awake yet. But before you decide to sit down at the bar and drink your tea alone, you see Alastor sitting on one of the bar stools. With his eyes lowered on the whisky glass in front of him, he seems absent-minded, as if he were in distress.
The Radio Demon and sorrow? These words don't really go together in a sentence.
You walk over to the bar to go behind the counter and make yourself a cup of tea. But just as you are about to fill the pot with water, you hear a snap of fingers and as you raise your head, you see that Alastor has conjured up a cup of freshly brewed, wonderfully fragrant tea for you.
‘Thank you,’ you say, smiling slightly shyly, and then you go to the bar stool and sit down.
You look at Alastor. He is still staring at his glass.
And then you take a deep breath and dare to ask him: ‘What's wrong?’
As if he has been torn from his deep thoughts, he jolts and looks at you, almost inconspicuously.
His smile turns into a grin that expresses false cheerfulness, and he replies: ‘What makes you think there's something wrong, my dear? Do you really think I'm one of those miserable souls trying to drown my sorrows in whisky and hoping that someone like you will play therapist and treat me? Ahaha, then you know me very badly, Y/N.’
Even though you expected this kind of reply from the radio demon, you are still a little offended and regret approaching him.
You turn away from him and pick up your teacup to inhale the fragrant vapours. You close your eyes with relish and sink into the pleasant atmosphere created by the fruity taste with a delicate hint of vanilla.
‘Anyway, how was the film?’ Alastor's voice suddenly pulls you out of your meditative state.
You open your eyes again, but keep them fixed on the cup. Slightly disgusted, you make a face and answer: ‘Pretty bad. Bad actors, hardly any action, a story with little content and insanely clichéd. For the most part, romantic films are simply unimaginative and don't exactly treat the relationship or women respectfully.’
You mutter the last sentence to yourself, but Alastor understands every single word. You can't see it, but a satisfied smile is forming on his lips as he looks at you.
He says, ‘Haha, I see what you mean, darling. Love films have no sense of truth.’
Now you turn to him again. Your look shows confusion and with a surprised laugh you ask: ‘How would you know? Since when does the great Radio Demon stoop to the level of a soap opera?’
‘Well my dear,’ Alastor raises an eyebrow and adjusts his bow tie, ’I am full of surprises, after all. But don't think that I have studied a picture box for my own amusement. And please don't think that I have even the slightest enthusiasm for inferior romantic performances. However, I am not spared the necessity to develop and learn occasionally.’
You sceptically eye the man next to you and nod hesitantly to show him that you understand what he has explained.
‘And... what have you learned?’ you now want to know, overcome with curiosity.
‘That the world can never function the way these strange stories suggest. A man will never win a woman's heart with such behaviour. This constant romanticisation of patriarchal conditions and the constant assumption that love can only be expressed through creativity and grand, extravagant acts, as well as the belief that all women want the same thing, is poison for human souls, and I am not surprised that there are so many of them in hell.’
You are momentarily taken aback. Then you realise that Alastor's critical words about patriarchy turn you on a little, and then it becomes clear to you as if with a snap of your fingers, and you remember the moment when Alastor almost killed you with a bouquet of flowers. He just said something about trying to learn something about films, and suddenly all the strange situations fall into place like pieces of a puzzle and it becomes clear what he was trying to do: he wanted to invite you on a date, and he tried to do so by looking at a method from a romantic film, copying it and trying it on you.
Your heart melts at this realisation and you now find the radio demon cuter than ever.
And you feel a little sorry for him.
There is a brief silence between you. You take a big sip of your tea cup - the tea tastes fantastic!
Then you put the cup down in front of you, think for a while and it doesn't take long for something to come to mind.
You smile slightly and reply to his speech from earlier: ‘I fully agree with you. Above all, who says that a woman always has to be wooed? She could also take the initiative and ask a man out if she is interested.’
Alastor looks at you questioningly and it seems as if he already knows the answer, because he is also good at reading between the lines. Before he can say anything, you get up from your bar stool, take his hand, kiss the back of his hand, and with an intense and charming look in his eyes, you ask: ‘Alastor. Would you like to go on a date with me?’
Amused, the radio demon begins to smile and he replies with a joking chuckle: ‘Oh, my dear Y/N. You really know what a man wants.’
#alastor#alastor the radio demon#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#radio demon#alastor imagine#fanfiction#alastor x oc#fanfic#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor x y/n#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor hazbin x you#alastor radio demon#alastor fluff
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Meant That Shit
Summary: N’Jadaka gets tired of waiting for Y/N to forgive him and come home, so he decides to let Killmonger bring her back, kicking and screaming if necessary.
Warnings: 18+, noncon/con, smut, D/s themes, Entitled and pissed Erik being devious. Shouldthere be a warning for angst?
A/N: This was supposed to be short, but here we are. Enjoy my sexually starved thoughts.
A/N: Also, idk if this needs to be said, but I write for my demographic - black females. This has been my disclaimer/notice.
A/N: My work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than this) without my explicit consent and recognition.
After his reluctant rehabilitation, there weren't many things that brought out his killer instinct anymore. However, it seemed that lately, despite all the sparring, therapy, and meditation sessions, Erik couldn’t shake the urge to knock some sense into his girl Y/N.
A few weeks prior when she told him she needed space and couldn’t stay in Wakanda and ignore her life anymore, he said some things. She took it the wrong way and told him they were over, as if.
When she first left, Erik was sure she’d break down and FaceTime him or use the kimoyo beads he taught her to use. She was always more vocal about missing him, so he just assumed she’d break down and restart their communication. Imagine his surprise when a whole two weeks rolled by without so much as a text, call, or video chat. He was desperate for anything from her, even a verbal lashing, but by the time a month came and went, he felt like a fiend going through withdrawal.
During week six, his excitement to finally lay his eyes on Y/N was quickly cut short when he realized she was still talking to his family even though he had been getting the silent treatment. That displeasing information lit him like a powder keg when he saw another man in Y/N’s background, getting dressed no less. T’Challa dragged him from Shuri’s lab ready to bust a gasket when his babygirl asked Shuri to go into a different room and his little cousin actually listened! His whole family was against him again it would seem.
When T’Challa got him back to his room, all he did was pace. It was ten full minutes of the king warily watching his cousin stew when M’Baku walked right into the line of fire as Erik turned to beat the shit out of his cousin. T’Challa easily dodged the current threat on his life as the giant grabbed Erik’s hands in one of his, quickly disarming him and making the pouting man even more enraged.
“You all have been talking to her this whole time?” N’Jadaka roared.
“Just Shuri and I. She made us promise to let you figure it out for yourself, but you’ve been failing miserably cousin! Absolutely clueless!” T’Challa replied.
Erik struggled against M’Baku’s vice grip to no avail.
“No shit Sherlock. I’m gonna whoop yawls asses. M’Baku let me go.”
“Not until you promise to have a conversation with your mouth instead of your hands. I am not prepared to get involved in another war between you two.”
Erik took a few deep breaths. “Fine, I’m good.”
Once M’Baku was sure there would be no immediate violence he let go.
“You better start explaining real fucking soon T,” Erik spat, pointing an accusatory finger at T’Challa.
“Okay! Okay! Y/N is struggling to accept that you actually want her around long term!” T’Challa word-vomited.
If the prince wasn’t already enraged, the king and tribal chief would’ve laid out in hysterics at how N’Jadaka’s face screwed up. “How sway! How?!”
“From what Shuri has explained and I’ve gathered in my eavesdropping is that she thinks you only want to claim her without actually growing with her. Everything is on your terms, your way, in your time. She’s been far more patient than most would be with you so I can’t say she’s wrong.”
Erik jumped at T’Challa, scaring him and the big gorilla chief. “I oughta beat you up for keeping your mouth shut.”
“She and Shuri threatened me within an inch of my life and they scare me more than you. Besides, according to them, you can’t keep relying on us to figure out what’s going on in your relationship and I couldn’t find a valid disagreement.”
Erik nearly did slap T’Challa at the last sentiment.
“Aye aye!” M’Baku shouted, getting between the two yet again, “He is being truthful now. That counts eh? And if I may interject, I think you’re aiming your anger at the wrong person.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Erik said, deflating under the weight of that truth, “but his ass still bout to pay me back and I know just how.”
————-
A few hours later…
“You know, when I told you that you could pay me back with The Royal Talon Fighter, I didn’t expect you to tag along.”
“Who else was going to keep an eye on our Wakandan technology or keep you from murdering anyone in the vicinity of Y/N, especially any man?”
Erik rolled his eyes and huffed. “I guess.”
“Or Y/N from killing you for just showing up jealous despite being radio silent since long before she left Wakanda.”
“Alright alright! You made your point. Damn! Just drive the fancy metal.”
—
Erik was all confidence until the second they landed in Atlanta. Yeah, Killmonger was out for blood and was ready to bring their girl back kicking and screaming if necessary, but Erik N’Jadaka Stevens? He was a nervous fucking wreck.
T’Challa and M’Baku’s words really struck a nerve and he had nothing but time to stew over them on the ride to your family’s hometown ranch. Before he met you, Killmonger made all the decisions, kept him alive and ahead of the game, whatever game he was surviving at the moment. He lived like that for well over a decade when he met you, but you didn’t bat an eyelash at his swift mood swings, his bloodthirst, or his possessiveness, often putting him in place. You handled him with love and care, showing him how to become the softer version of himself without sacrificing your boundaries too much. He was quickly realizing that he sometimes pushed too hard, took too much, neglected your requirements. It was your stern patience, however, that was enough to allow you to become the first person to get him the person instead of him the killer to come out and communicate, interact, and live rather than survive.
You did it for him a second time around when he came out of cryo too. He hadn’t told you anything about how he would go about his goals, opting just to disappear and execute so it was a surprise of a lifetime to wake up to your beautiful Y/E/C. After getting over his initial anger over you seeing the worst of him, you were the first person he responded to or let touch him during his recovery. Even going so far as not allowing the medical staff to redress his wounds if he was awake.
Only your touch soothed him, only your voice gave him peace. You made him less of a killing machine and more human again, made him want to address the tsunami of emotions and trauma that he lugged around. He didn’t want to jeopardize your willingness to be that for him but he recognized how you were always giving all you had just to receive an inch of progress from him. If that.
Unfortunately, all of his introspection and nervousness flew right out of the truck T’Challa had them in when he saw you walking up to your personal guesthouse with a man in tow. Killmonger immediately took the reins pushing him and his feelings down into the abyss, and leaping out of the car before T’Challa could come to a complete stop with his cousin calling after him.
“Y/N!” Killmonger shouted from the end of the long-ass driveway, rage evident in his voice.
Y/N was haphazardly trying to get her drunk cousin up the stairs while nervously dropping her keys when she heard Killmonger. She’s only encountered him a few times since meeting Erik, after the first time she brought him back to himself, he did his best to keep that part from her. It didn’t always work since any repressed feeling or issue the man had was poured into his alter ego, feeding his desire to be wild and untamed in his decision-making. So she knew he was out for blood with just the sound of her name.
She got the key in just as Killmonger got to the beginning of her walkway up to the house. As quickly as she could, she pulled her cousin in, slamming and locking the door in her partner’s face, leaving the beast to bang on her door and demand entrance.
“I’m not dealing with your bulldozing tactics Kill! You can come back when Erik is ready to face his fucking feelings and have an adult conversation!”
“If you know what’s good for you and that nigga in there, you better open this ghatdamn door Y/N!” He roared in response.
Y/N’s cousin couldn’t stop laughing, no matter how much she waved him off. Getting trashed 3 nights in a row after a bad breakup and crashing with his favorite cousin after hearing how she was hiding from both the world and the love of her life as well didn’t prepare him for seeing her so out of character. One second she was fleeing from the man, the next she was big and bad from behind a locked door in all her 5’5” glory. It was comical as hell to him.
“You know you look constipated when you cuss? Like that stick in your ass is fighting every syllable.” He said, immediately dying in another fit of laughter at his analogy.
“Who the fuck is that in there with you, Y/N, and don’t fucking lie!”
“The next man. Nice to meet you. You must be the ex.” her cousin shouted out in a drunken slur to Y/N’s horror.
Yeah, she knew she wasn’t in the wrong, and there was no reason to defend herself against this man, but she knew not to press certain buttons once Kill made an appearance. Her cousin, unfortunately, had no discernment to see that he had just pressed the biggest red button Kill had when it came to her.
Y/N watched the myriad of emotions that crossed Erik’s face through the peephole, praying to every ancestor and display of the creator she could think of that this man wasn’t going to go full psycho-killer on them both. The last thing she needed was him taking several steps back in his healing just to unnecessarily add another scar, maybe 2 with how pissed he looked.
Y/N turned back to her cousin, ready to kill him for putting her in even hotter water, only to find that nigga was sleep, leaving Y/N to deal with the consequences on her own.
As soon as she had that thought her ears piqued, taking in how silent it had gotten. All she could hear was the crunch of gravel as T’Challa finally pulled in and got out. When she peeked outside the peephole again, she was met with a confused T’Challa looking for Erik.
A chill ran up her spine and her blood ran cold as she slowly turned to her current worst fear; Killmonger pissed as hell, staring her down with a knife to her cousin’s throat.
“Give me one good reason not to paint your brand new carpet with this nigga’s blood Y/F/N then fuck you on the new color.”
Putting her hands up in a placating manner, Y/N slowly inched towards Kill, stopping when he dug the knife just slightly deeper, exposing a thin line of blood, as her cousin slept unawares.
Donning a submissive voice as if she was talking to a wild animal, “Erik, baby calm down.”
“Don’t baby calm down me! You out here giving other niggas what’s mine? Mine Y/N!”
“That’s not–”
“Don’t tell me that’s not what’s going on when you’ve been M.I.Fucking.A. for weeks! And the first thing I see both on video chat and in person is you with some random?! I’ll murder every nigga to ever touch you, keep tryna play me.”
“Nobody’s playing you Daka, look closer, you know him. I promise I haven’t been stepping out on you.” Y/N continued on, internally rolling her eyes at the toddler temper tantrum she had to placate this nigga out of. “My stupidly in love, trying to escape his own heartache, and loves drama when drunk cousin that you have met several times was just egging you on.”
Kill looked closer to the man’s face and released the filter of rage clouding his judgment, upon closer inspection he realized they’d met at several of the many family gatherings he’d attended with Y/N/N. Slowly easing the knife from her cousin’s throat, Erik struggled to fight back tears at his behavior. He was proving he wasn’t good enough for her, he hadn’t actually changed all that much. Kill took the reins once again, unwilling to let him process his feelings of abandonment and betrayal just yet. Rushing towards Y/N, he laid the knife flat on the side of her face, taking up residence on the other side.
Biting a huge hickey along her jawline, before grasping her earlobe in between his teeth, Killmonger growled, “So if you ain’t been fucking him, who you been fucking?”
Although Y/N knew she logically had nothing to feel guilty about, how he was questioning her made her want to lie down and worship him as an apology regardless. She took a deep breath to center herself, understanding that any sign of nervousness would be taken as an omission of guilt.
Y/N ran her hands up his arms and over his shoulder blades to hold his face in her palms. He reluctantly released her earlobe to allow her to face him, naturally allowing the blade to rest against her neck ever so gently.
“N’Jadaka. Erik, baby? Look at me, I have been trying to live without you miserably for the last few weeks. I’ve only been going out since Y/C/N got here and I have to beg for breaks because I’m basically his chaperone. You believe me don’t you?”
Erik looked at her with suspicion clouding his eyes. He dropped the knife and held her throat in his hands, squeezing just tight enough to hint to either pleasure or pain, pushing her against the front door.
“Ion know. Why should I?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Y/N took a chance and palmed his face, caressing his cheekbone with her thumb. “Cause you know that no matter how much you stress me out, isolate yourself from me, or threaten anyone who seems to have more access to me than you, that I love your crazy ass.”
Erik squeezed a little tighter, not enough to hurt her but enough to reassert his dominance. Y/N put a hand over his, doing her best to ground herself in the feeling of his hands rather than how much she wanted to cum from the pressure of them.”
“Sorry,” Y/N squeaked out, “I love every version of you, no matter how threatening any of them may be and I physically can’t stand to have anyone else touch me the way I let you touch me.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you?”
“Nah, princess, the other part.”
“No matter how threatening-” she started, but was cut off by the growl emanating from Erik’s chest and the pulsing release and pressure of him allowing her small gasps of air. “You know what I mean Y/N, don’t test me lil mama.”
Erik held his squeeze on her neck, tilting it ever so slightly to lick the side of her face and hold her earlobe between his teeth, tugging.
Y/N couldn’t hold back the guttural moan if she tried. Just barely keeping her eyes from rolling back and donning her sweetest sub voice, she said, “I physically can’t stand to have anyone else touch me the way I let you touch me big daddy. It literally makes me nauseous.”
Erik released her ear with a wet snap against her face, “It does?”
Y/N hummed and nodded her head as best she could in her current predicament.
Killmonger covered the forgiving face Erik started to make, replacing it with one of his stern, unyielding looks. “Then why you leave me and give me the silent treatment for weeks?”
Y/N whined at the tightening of his hands, closing her eyes to savor the pleasure only he could illicit lighting her body on fire.
Erik bit her bottom lip roughly, nearly drawing blood. “That’s not an answer.”
Losing the battle against her libido and subspace, Y/N whined again.
In a faux sweet voice Erik said, “Awww, is little mama already too far gone in her head thinking about all the ways imma mark you.”
Y/N nodded again, lost in the many images she’d acquired from her sexual experiences with Erik and Kill over the years.
“Good.” And with those words, Y/N was suddenly looking at Erik’s ass and the floor as he stomped upstairs to her bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.
He tossed her on the bed and roughly stripped her of her clothes, halter top first, bottoms and panties all in one fell swoop last, leaving her heels on.
He positioned her over his knee and popped her cheeks until her bottom was flushed with his favorite shade of reddish purple and warmed his hands with the heat she emanated.
By the time he was done, Y/N wanted to be a ball of tears, but could only sniffle, her voice too shy to make an appearance when Kill took the reins of their scenes like this for fear of upsetting him further.
Erik used his knee to spread her legs open far enough to see her flower drenching her thighs in her nectar for him. He took two fingers to swipe some of it onto them for him to put in his mouth and savor, groaning at how much sweeter she seemed to have gotten since last he held her.
He laid her onto the bed and got up to undress himself, slapping her already sore ass when she didn’t move a muscle.
“You know what’s up. Face down, ass up lil mama.”
Y/N groaned but slowly inched her way into position. Already feeling like jello, she barely put an arch in her back, struggling not to lay back down and pass out.
Killmonger was not happy with that. After he’d removed everything except his grills and chain he let both his palms come down on her cheeks simultaneously.
Sounding more animal than human, “If you don’t assume the position like you got some sense, I swear to the gods Y/N.”
She was still lethargic, but was eager to experience less of his painful assaults and more of the pleasurable ones that she knew were around the corner. It took all of her strength but she was able to inch herself into position, deepening her arch just the way he demanded with her arms by her side and her cheek resting against the comforter.
“Good girl.”
With how pliant she was to his commands and the evidence of how much she trusted and wanted him dripping down her thighs, it took all of his restraint not to plunge himself into her until he felt her cervix try to push him back out.
Y/N smiled faintly at the praise, humming and wiggling her ass in response.
Killmonger grasped her wrists as he knelt to get up close and personal with his pussy. He spread her lips so he could get an eyeful of her throbbing clit and blew on it, eliciting a guttural moan from Y/N, before replacing his hand back on her wrist.
“Just you wait mamas, you gonna be screaming and crying by the time I’m done with you.”
He licked her juices on both thighs, leaving hickies all over them both before he finally put his whole face in her pussy and ate. If it wasn’t for the grasp he had on her wrists, she would have collapsed immediately.
Erik was a good kisser in general, but Killmonger was a master at french kissing, especially her pussy, until she was questioning whether or not she still wanted the pleasure. Those deep soul sucking kisses always made her question her sanity.
He slurped up and suctioned her clit into his mouth like that’s where it belonged, flicking it with the tip of his tongue until she came with a silent scream, without ever releasing her tiny bud. Then he released it with a pop only to hold her lips open and spit directly onto her hole, watching his saliva drip down onto her clit. He flattened his tongue and licked like the dog he could be until she was a whining, moaning mess, tears streaming down her face just as promised.
Once the first sound hit his ears, she couldn’t stop the noises he was pulling from her if she was mute, let alone at the mercy of his insatiable thirst for her most animalistic responses.
Kill continued his assault with his tongue, moving through her folds in a rhythm only he knew. After he’d gotten two more orgasms from her that way, Y/N alternating between screaming and crying, he latched his plush lips back around her clit, assaulting the sensitive bundle of nerves, and plunged his two most trustworthy fingers into her, immediately finding her gspot and caressing it with an incessant ‘come hither’ motion until she was squirting and creaming uncontrollably. Not willing to let go just yet he dragged it out for what seemed like forever since she briefly lost consciousness and came to, lips still parted in the O of her silent screams, with his mouth still eagerly slurping up the waterfall his fingers were responsible for. All Y/N could do was turn her head the other way to watch what she could see of him, whining and moaning.
When she could barely release any more spurts he released her, licking his hand, fingers, and forearm clean as he slowly stroked his hard as steel member.
In the great deep of her sex haze, Y/N mumbled, “He brought dick too? How are we gonna survive dick too when he almost killed us with just his mouth and fingers.”
Erik chuckled at her ramblings, proud that he was, as usual, responsible for her senseless words.
When his precum made an appearance, he swiped it up with his thumb and rubbed it into her pussy, almost immediately replacing his thumb with the tip of his dick. Wanting to savor this moment of finally being able to reconnect with his pussy, he played with her, just like that. Rubbing the tip of his dick in both of their juices, up and down her pussy lips, circling her clit, and coming to apply just enough pressure to her desperately clenching hole, only to rinse and repeat. On and on he went, teasing them both until his quietly whimpering babygirl was back to guttural whines.
He knew she was right where he wanted her mentally when she started begging.
“Please big daddy, I’m so sorry. Please baba E, please baba, please. Please please please please please pleaaaaaasssssseeeeee.”
When he was good and ready, he pulled her up by her throat until she was flush against him, licked her tears from her cheek, and forced her to look him in the eyes.
“You don’t do that disappearing and silent treatment shit ever again Y/N. You hear me?”
Y/N nodded and blinked at him with a puppy eyed look that damn near melted the ice caps of his attitude, but he was quick to remind her who’s big daddy in their relationship.
“When I told you, you were mine, I meant that shit mama.”
“Yes, baba,” Y/N squeaked out.
He tongued her down with one of his sloppy french kisses and as soon as he felt her body relax in his hold, he did exactly what his body had been begging for since the second he saw her. He pushed himself into her until he felt the tip of her cervix try to push him all the way back out, savoring the fucked out look she wore as her body spasmed with the unexpected orgasm, he held them there letting her ride it out.
In this moment he was grateful for the years of curated discipline since the way her pussy clamped onto him almost triggered his own mind numbing orgasm. Although he successfully staved off his nut, he couldn’t stop the way all of his fight was knocked right out of him. Finally rid of the aggression that his Killmonger personality oozed, Erik was able to finally take in his queen, his Y/N, in all her sex hazed glory.
When she finally came down from her high he started moving, giving her slow and deep strokes as he showered her face and neck with kisses, hoping his attempt at lovemaking showed her just how priceless she was to him, how desperate he’d been without her.
Kiss, “I’m sorry too mamas,” kiss “I know how much you love me and I don't understand why,” kiss, “you,” kiss, “insist,” kiss, “on pouring all of the best parts of yourself into me.” He couldn’t help but shed a tear at the relief he felt, having her in his arms again. “I promise to do better,” kiss, “to listen and pay attention more,” kiss, “to treat you like the empress you are,” kiss, “just say you’ll come home with me,” kiss, “promise you’ll take your rightful place by my side mamas,” kiss, “claim your right as my queen.”
Y/N was a moaning, whining mess, barely holding onto consciousness and shedding her favorite kind of tears, just as promised.
Erik tucked his face into her neck, struggling to keep himself from cumming too soon since her pussy was gripping him like a boa constrictor, indicating that yet another orgasm wasn’t too far.
He held himself in the deepest parts of her and put a little whine in his hips. “Please mama, come home with me.”
Just when he thought he could hold out no longer she arched into him and screamed yes over and over, overwhelmed with her orgasm, and squirted all over them both. Erik came in her almost at the exact same time, his orgasm nearly knocking him out with how it overcame him from head to toe. Both of them slumped into the bed.
—
By the time he finally started to get up, her screams had quieted back to whimpers.
Erik slowly and gently removed her heels from her feet, massaging the soles with just the right amount of pressure.
He cleaned both of them with a warm washcloth and ran the tub, placing some bubble bath soap, epsom salt, essential oils, and dried rose petals in the water. Wanting to balance out the intrusive way he barged back into her life, he lit some candles and incense as well, and placed his favorite body oil of hers on the counter.
When he came back to get her in the tub, she was silently staring into space in the same place and position he left her. After he got her to turn over and sit up, he scooped her into his arms bridal and brought her to the tub, gently placing her into the suds.
Once he saw her relax he went back to the bedroom to strip and change the sheets, wanting their transition back into the room to be seamless. When he came back into the bathroom her head was leaned against the edge of the tub, eyes closed, and tears were streaming down her face, alarming him to the fact that although he’d won the battle, he was still losing the war with treating his girl with the care she really was looking for from him.
Choking up himself, he kneeled next the tub and leaned over her face, kissing the droplets left behind.
“I’m so sorry mamas. You know that right?” His voice cracked at the end.
Although she started nodding yes, she ended up shaking her head no.
“Can you open your eyes for me please?”
Y/N shook her head no again.
“Pretty please?”
Again she shook her head no. She was too scared to look him in his eyes, anytime he touched her or they made eye contact she folded to his desires and needs, abandoning her own.
A little defeated, but determined to win all of her back, not just her body, Erik switched tactics.
“May I get into the tub with you and hold you?”
Y/N hesitated a few moments before she nodded yes. As soon as she heard the rustle of him standing back up she scooted forward allowing him to sit behind her.
Once he was seated, Erik gently pulled her into him, urging her body to use him as she did the edge of the tub. The moment she relaxed in his embrace, head lolling slightly to the left, he started kissing up and down her neck from where her ear met her face to her collarbone.
When he felt enough time had passed, he tried to get her to open up to him again.
“Lil mama?”
Y/N hummed.
“Tell me what’s on your mind please, I promise to listen.”
Y/N held up her pinky and asked, “Pinky promise?”
Erik locked his pinky with hers and brought her hand to his lips, softly talking against it, “Pinky Promise.”
She pulled her hand away, putting it back in her lap to join the other one, under the water.
Taking a deep breath she started.
“Am I a toy to be played with Daka?” Erik was ready to answer but kept silent, knowing she needed to get all of her thoughts out before he interrupted her. “To be taken out of storage to be used and then tossed aside when you’re not getting the desired result anymore?”
Rubbing the sides of her thighs and suddenly very scared, he said, “ no mamas.”
“Then why do you get to demand time and attention and energy from me, but when I ask for a sliver of honest communication, the smallest amount of all three resources you have to offer me, you shut me out? Why is it only okay for you to communicate what’s going on with you and us when you feel like it, when it's convenient? Why do I always have to beg for you to lean on me, to use me softly? Why do I have to beg you to let me hold you. Why don’t you ever just ask? Why do I have to grovel at your feet to be held by you? Why is the only time you make love to me when you’re trying to win me back? Why?”
By the end of her list, Y/N was sobbing. Erik wrapped his arms around her body and tucked his chin in the curve of her neck and let a few tears drop himself before he answered.
“I don’t know mamas. I guess…,” he wiped the tears from his face and gulped down the rising tsunami of emotion that she so easily created with just a few sentences before he wrapped his arm back around her, “...I guess I’m just terrified.”
“Of what baby? Haven’t I been here? Haven’t I done the best to support you with all that I am, to remain honest with you and show you that I am loyal to our future?”
He kissed her shoulder and said, “you have. I just-”
Y/N pulled out of his arms to finally look him in the eye, “You just what? Aren’t my efforts to build a life with you enough?”
Erik palmed her face and gave her a deep kiss, hoping to transfer all of his emotion into it.
He put his forehead against hers and said, “I’m just so fucking terrified of losing you. To have the warmth of your love snatched away at a moment's notice. I’m terrified in a way I haven’t been in so fucking long that I just convince myself that its better to pull away and show you how unworthy I am of the full magnitude of your love.”
He pulled away and kissed her forehead, grateful she was finally looking him in the eyes again. “But this time of separation showed me I am nothing without you, just a hollow shell, no love to warm my soul and bones. Even the care and concern of my family isn’t enough to fill the abyss that’s created in your absence.”
Y/N swiped away the stray tears from his face, “that’s-”
“I know. Super intense.”
“Yes. But I was gonna say a relief to hear. You never really give me any verbal confirmation that you feel as deeply for me as I do for you unless I say I love you first.”
“I know mamas, but I promise to do better, be better, for you.”
Y/N pecked his lips. “No Baba. For you. You need to talk your feelings out loud so you can hear it too. You need to know that the only reason you’re able to love me so deeply is because you love yourself that deep, if not deeper, first. Understand?”
Erik smirked, yet again grateful that he had such a wise and loving partner who always held up the pieces of mirror he’d sworn he’d broken to pieces.
“Yea lil mama, I understand.”
“Good…,” Y/N kissed him again, deepening the kiss but teasing him slightly with how lightly she moved her lips against his. When she pulled away, she almost regretted bursting his bubble. “...cause I’m not going back with you until I’m ready.”
Erik’s face instantly fixed itself into a scowl. “But-”
Y/N held a finger to his lips. “I said when I’m ready, not never. I came home to get back to taking care of me, love me, and understanding what my needs are.”
His pout deepened.
“And I learned that I need to stop jumping when you say jump. So I go back when I feel that I’m ready, not because you showed up and demanded it of me. Okay?”
He was a little deflated, but still holding onto the hope of her eventually coming back with him.
“Okay, but I’m staying with you until you’re ready.”
“But-.”
It was Erik’s turn to hush her with a finger. “I already know what you’re going to say and my duties will be waiting for me when we go back together. Now that you’re back in my arms I’m in no hurry to lose the privilege again.”
“You’re not!”
“You’re right, cause I’m staying.”
All Y/N could do was chuckle, understanding that she’d lost this battle and relishing in the fact that she won the war. It seemed he was finally starting to understand what she needed because although she was indeed going to complain about him having responsibilities to return to, she really did need him to stay. That abyss he had was mirrored in her heart and only time with him would close it back up.
Both satisfied that they worked through the root issue, they went back to enjoying the bath, Y/N comfortably resting her head against Erik.
When they were all pruney and the water was verging on cold, Erik stood them up to drain the tub and turned on the shower to rinse them both. After he dried them both, he quickly lotioned his body with shea butter, grabbed the body oil and guided Y/N hand in hand, back into the bedroom.
He laid her on her back first to moisturize and massage her front, kneading out all of the tension she held. When he was working his way back up from her feet, he couldn’t help but get stuck between her thighs, using his thumbs to massage circles up them until he reached her pussy again.
Y/N slightly parted her legs, letting one bend and fall open for easy access. He immediately used one hand to part her lips so he could see her clit clearly.
Erik leaned down to softly kiss her clit a few times before he pulled away and used the thumb on his other hand to rub slow circles. He admired her form as he brought her to orgasm leisurely.
He went back to massaging her thighs until she returned from the heights of her pleasure.
His voice was more gruff than he wanted when he told her, “turn over.”
She easily compiled and continued his massage, paying extra attention to her sore ass.
When Y/N was 2 more seconds away from sleep and he was satisfied with his work he urged her under the covers and joined her. She tried to grab his hardened member to return the favor but he grabbed up her hands, kissing them to soften the blow.
“No, I needed to show you how softly I can treat you, I don’t need to cum right now. Sleep.”
Y/N pouted and whined, wanting to feel him connected to her again.
She lifted her leg over his as they faced each other and inched as close as she could with her hands in his, feeling his dick graze her pussy lips.
Putting a little more base in his voice, “Ay! What I just say lil mama?”
She whined out, “I don’t care, I just need to feel you in me Baba.”
Erik grunted.
Y/N donned her best puppy dog pout and begged with her words and body, wiggling in his hold and being able to feel the lightest brush of his hot skin. “Pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeee?”
“Fine, but careful what you asked for…” he said, sheathing himself in one stroke and stilled her hips before she could start moving. “...you just might get it.”
He released her hands and tongued her down, palming her face.
“Sleep Y/N.”
“But,” she said, her face scrunching in confusion.
“You can keep me warm, but that’s it for now, okay?”
She started to whine again but was cut short when he wrapped the hand palming her face around her throat.
“Sleep mamas. You’re going to need all of your energy in the morning.”
She wasn’t necessarily happy, but she also wasn’t necessarily dissatisfied. She did get her wish after all.
“Ok.”
Y/N tucked her head under his chin and started to drift before she sleepily said, “thank you for showing me how much you care Baba E. I’m really happy you’re here.”
Erik kissed her forehead and squeezed his arms a little tighter around her.
“Thank you for letting me.”
He was answered with her cute snores and let the sound lull him into the best sleep he’d had in too long of a while.
#erik killmonger#erik kilmonger x reader#Erik killmonger x black!reader#black panther fanfiction#black panther#erik stevens#killmonger fanfiction#killmonger smut#erik stevens x reader#fictioninmybloodworks#fictioninmyblood#erik stevens x black!reader
990 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trans woman Tuvok is killing me with the context of Tuvok's character already being someone who gave in to everything he ever fought against. Every act of rebellion retroactively looked upon as foolish if not actively damaging - especially in a way that props his father up as being wiser than he. His father was right to disown him for his teenage rejection of logic and he was right to compel him to join Starfleet though Tuvok was miserable in it. We know Tuvok was in a monastery when he had his pon farr and that meditation is a way to overcome it so I don't think it's a stretch to say that there's a chance Tuvok tried to do just that but ended up failing and so he took a wife (who her father chose). Tuvok obviously cares deeply about his wife and children and enjoys his career in Starfleet and his rejection of logic WOULD have been extremely bad for him had it continued but I do think it's significant that every path of aberrant independence is now looked down on by him as negative because with that context imagine how Tuvok might react to the idea that she might be a woman. Imagine if she expressed this to her father before and received pushback against it and so she bottled those feeling up. Her father was right before, about everything. Surely, he's right about this too. If she just keeps fighting against this desire (and desire is bad, isn't it? she shouldn't feel anything) her father's wisdom will eventually reveal itself and she'll be grateful she didn't rashly follow this whim. And years pass. And decades. And decades more. And then she's in the Delta quadrant and she doesn't have her children to be Father to or wife to be Husband to and her father isn't there to chastise his Only Son. And maybe...just maybe...she can finally sit down and explore why that 'whim' hasn't gone away.
#I don't believe Tuvok's father would be actively transphobic I imagine the response is more lukewarm and doubtful and#tailored specifically to the perception he has of Tuvok as a rash person and a troublemaker. And receiving this response made#Tuvok not push the issue any further and immediately go 'you're right thank you'#I like the idea of Tuvok being strangely unconfident with his father - regardless of if Tuvok is trans or not#He venerates his father - a contrast to both Spock before him and Tom Paris#who has a similar history with his own father but hates him for it#star trek voyager#Tuvok#Trans Tuvok#trans star trek#Tuvok is a guy who conforms that's one thing about him#mtf Tuvok
80 notes
·
View notes