#have a certain amount of something to work with for a long period of time

[bambi-kinos]

Dakota Days Review

I got an ask requesting I post the Dakota Days review. The rest of the ask will be mega long so I don't want to just add on the review to the end and make it an even bigger read. So I'm posting this as its own free-floating thing.

So my deal is that in 2023 and 2024 I had enough time on my hands that I read a shitton of Beatle books (including most of the books in my big recommendation post, which I am still thinking about updating so keep in mind it hasn't achieved its final form.) I regularly talk these over with a friend and this review is mostly what I told her when she asked if she should read it or not. Either this will sell you on the book or it will not lol. I did some light editing for readability but otherwise it is mostly intact from the original post date February 13, 2023....good God, 2 fucking years ago!

Okay so Dakota Days. It's an account of John Green, also known as Charlie Swan who was a tarot reader that was close to the Lennons following John's return from his Lost Weekend.

Charlie states from the start that he is only trying to impart a snapshot of what it was like to live with John and Yoko during this time. He straight up admits that he has edited out certain parts of it to respect their privacy (and to cover his own ass as he did his fair share of scamming Yoko during this period.) He also straight up admits that he smushed together many years, events, and conversations in the book. He explains this very sensibly: while he claims a prodigious memory (which will prove not to be the case) he also says that he just spent too many years in John and Yoko's employment to recount all of them without boring the reader.

This is a very effective tactic. Charlie is deliberately telling us something that he is doing (editing the accounts of what happened) because it will make us trust him more. Being honest about misdoings you've done or will do tends to get people to like you more. This is what con artists do when they are trying to get people to fall for their schemes: they will tell you what they are doing and then they will do it. It is effective because it works. Charlie tells us that he is either misremembering or covering his own ass and because he does this we like him, which primes us to accept everything he says.

Charlie gets called up by Yoko only a few hours after John drags home. She renames him Charlie Swan because she knows John will be jealous of him having the same name. Charlie goes along with it because he knows Yoko is an easy mark; he claims in the text that he found John at Disney World of all places and that this is how Yoko ended the long weekend. Considering this is not how it happened we can guess that what Charlie actually did was pull the wool over Yoko's eyes and then claim credit for it. Again, a very effective tactic.

What happens next is really interesting: John feigns being poisoned. He's told Yoko that May poisoned him in his tea. Charlie reads the cards and they tell him "no way was John poisoned" and John leverages this to get Yoko out of the room. John picks Charlie's brain about the occult for a while and then lets him go home after a few hours.

Won't recount everything that happens next but I will say this: Dakota Days is the second half of the story about John's Dakota years and it compliments Fred's book perfectly. Fred depicted a manic John and a cold, distant Yoko. Charlie depicts a depressive John and an anxious Yoko in desperate need of hand holding at every single stage in her life. The amount of time and money that John and Yoko spend on con artists like Charlie as well as their other astrologers, mystics, and Korean herb healers is astounding. They were completely and utterly paralyzed with terror if they had to make decisions on their own. Indecisive, fretful, worried, anxious, Yoko straight up has a panic attack at one point because Charlie orders her to make a decision on her own and she almost dissolves into tears because she can't do it.

The funny part is I find none of these depictions at odd with one another. Yoko's imperious mask always hid the frightened baby underneath and John's aggressive ego always hid the broken hearted lover who wanted to be anywhere but where he was. Yoko didn't give Fred an "in" because he was a servant but she feared and respected Charlie so she could afford to be a broken little girl in front of him. John respected Charlie as a magician and hung on his every word. He didn't see a point in pretending to be something he wasn't like he did with Fred.

Charlie's big thing in the book is that he depicts himself as Spitting Straight Facts at John and Yoko. He condenses these into different conversations. For example, at one point Yoko takes John to Japan for a few months because she wants to convince him to live there full time. All of their clothes are packed according to what Charlie's tarot cards tell them are lucky to take. Yoko asks him to cast spells to keep John in a good mood. They plan out their journey to follow certain directions based on Japanese numerology that calculates the luck of cardinal directions. (Charlie cheerfully admits that this is outside of his education so he can't give an opinion on it. This is part of his set up, he doesn't have a problem admitting his weaknesses which makes him come off as more honest than he really is.)

It all goes wrong within two weeks: John hates Japan. Absolutely hates it. He hates having to entertain Yoko's family. He hates the hotels they are in. Yoko calls Charlie on the verge of tears and tells him that John is humiliating her in front of her family -- apparently Yoko's mother and sister called Yoko out on her bullshit and they accused her of accomplishing nothing with her art. (Holy shit, based?!) Yoko is desperate for John's wealth and status to impress her mother and tells Charlie, "I know what they say about me, they say that all I did was marry John and spend his money!" Which is of course absolutely true.

Yoko is desperate to win her mother's favor because she wants Sean to get a sizable piece of the inheritance but she was so disgusted with Yoko that she wouldn't even acknowledge Sean. (Brutal.) Yoko takes this personally because her sister Setsuko married a Westerner, a diplomat, and Yoko dissolves into hysterics over the phone demanding that Charlie tarot read for new, luckier clothes and have them air mailed to them. As far as I know, Charlie did it because it was an order and Yoko was paying his bills.

It gets worse though because John starts shuffling around like a zombie, moaning, whacking his head against the walls, etc. He tells Charlie that he's pretending to be dead. (I actually think I know what John was doing -- he probably absorbed some of Japan's pop culture about ghosts and he started imitating it.) This freaks out Yoko's family and her mother asked what the hell she was doing bringing this fucked up white guy to Japan. Charlie depicts himself as being the only person John can vent to which is something that I actually believe even though it probably didn't go down in precisely this way.

When Yoko tells John that they're going home soon, John perks up. He starts wooing Yoko's mother and makes nice with her. The funny part is that after all that, John actually succeeded in making Yoko's mother like him! Of course Yoko calls Charlie, again almost in tears, and tells him "John is doing it all wrong, he's being friendly with her, he's not holding her at a distance, he's buying her things and taking her out to fancy eateries!" Yoko is depicted as flat out hysterical in this conversation, enraged and upset that John charmed his way into her mother's good graces instead of making her submit by being ice cold and imperious (aka acting like Mimi) which dissolves her into anguish. And then, at the end of it all, Charlie says that Yoko is being ridiculous and it's a good thing that John is finally getting along with her mother. (Hittin' hard with that street wisdom!) Yoko is very bitter in response. After that chapter I thought, "man Charlie is putting up with a lot huh."

The entire book goes this way. It depicts a John that will make grand gestures towards Yoko (he has Charlie perform a "druidic" marriage ceremony to reaffirm his marriage to Yoko and Charlie has a GREAT time making shit up and forcing John to gather all this bullshit stuff that has nothing to do with Celtic traditions, Charlie's account is so so gleeful about making John dance like a monkey) but actively loathes her the rest of the time. Charlie outright states that their relationship is unhappy.

For example, when Sean was born, John was crazy with worry and made up the Dakota to be more comfortable for Yoko and the baby. But when Yoko finally came home she immediately handed Sean to the nanny (which John HATED, he tried to make her pick Sean back up because he was so upset) and went to her room after a huge fight with John. John then sat down with Charlie and bitterly vented about the fact that he knew Yoko didn't appreciate him and that he was furious that she smoked through her pregnancy and that she wasn't interested in Sean. He accuses her of making Sean sick which is probably true considering Yoko was probably on heroin through out the pregnancy! John is actually kind of stunning here because he is utterly pissed off at Yoko for putting Sean's health at risk and then snubbing John when she finally gets home. His breakdown when Yoko comes home is incredible. They have a baby that she hyped up to Charlie as a Messiah and then she didn't want him. And it still didn't make her love John. The despair in his words.

A lot of the conversations that Charlie depicts follows this pattern. At one point John gets so angry about Yoko's coldness that he picks a fight with her, gets in her face, and just starts screaming at her. She runs out of the room crying because she's frightened of him and then calls Charlie to do a tarot card reading on why John was so mad at her. Charlie speculates it's because she doesn't communicate well with John and he was trying to shake something loose. She goes on a long rant about why this can't possibly be the case because she's only doing what's best for him so please Charlie read the cards…. of course when Charlie spoke to John, John replied that he was angry that Yoko speaks Japanese because he doesn't understand what she's saying to the servants and he thinks that they're talking about him. He's paranoid and angry that she's doing something that he can't get involved with. So he started screaming at her and throwing cigarette packets at her.

At times like this, when Yoko and John are fighting, Charlie takes on an interesting role. He will tell them hard truths about their relationship that they don't like. When Yoko whines that John is being too independent in 1979, Charlie tells her that this is a good thing and that she should be happy that John doesn't need to be managed. He also tells her that she and John will be happier if they are independent of each other. This bounces off Yoko completely and she whines (Yoko is VERY childish in this book) that this isn't possible or safe because John is too stupid (!!) and naive (!!) to make decisions on his own.

Charlie very deliberately depicts himself almost as a marriage counselor to them. You can see his prodigious perfect memory fails him at these junctures because when he relays conversations, John and Yoko don't sound like themselves most of the time. But the funny part is, I totally believe it. I actually do think that Charlie Swan had moments where he gave his unvarnished opinion about JohnandYoko to John and Yoko. He could do this safely for a few reasons:

1) He knew they considered him superior to them. He successfully dug a foothold in their minds and had them both totally convinced that he was legit. They couldn't throw him out because he was their closest tarot reader and it looks like he also had a legitimate head for business because he was able to give them some good financial advice. All of this meant that they were in awe of him and neither of them wanted to go against what he said. They were completely at his mercy. In a way I think it's lucky that Charlie wasn't more malicious because he could have manipulated John and Yoko into doing some depraved shit if he felt like it. They both worshipped him completely. Independent sources verified that John called Charlie "the Oracle" and it wasn't all a jest.

2) Conmen are incredibly good at reading people. They see our weaknesses and they understand them. He had John and Yoko sized up the moment he met them. He realized John and Yoko were both inherently childish, very credulous, willing to believe anything, and that they would only take the easy way out. They wanted self improvement to come only at the cost of their check books. They loved spending money (I think they both had shopping addictions -- I know because I have a shopping addiction) and they didn't want to be disciplined in the slightest. In fact Charlie depicts several moments where outside parties force John and Yoko to be disciplined and they both react like children being forced to sit in the time out chair.

3) John and Yoko, being very petulant, lazy, and weak at this stage of their lives, were totally impervious to criticism. John at least admitted that he knew Charlie was right about certain things but Yoko always had excuses for why she couldn't give John a longer leash/respect him as her life partner, be nice to her mother (Charlie at one point straight up asks why she's being such a bitch to her mother and Yoko is full of pathetic excuses), spend time with her baby, etc. (She couldn't buy farmland on her own because she didn't know how to ascertain if any of the property was good, so she had Charlie do readings so she didn't have to take responsibility for it.) John and Yoko did not want to shoulder any kind of responsibility for anything at all. They are both depicted as sleepwalking through life, becoming outraged when anything temporarily waylaid them.

You could give them as many hard truths as you wanted and it would never take because they will never ever accept it or act on it or own their mistakes. John and Yoko are often at odds in the book, screaming and arguing with each other, John fucking things up on purpose for Yoko's family, but when it comes to Growing The Hell Up, they were a united couple saying "no the hell we will not!"

This is reading between the lines now but I think Charlie is straight up laughing at them at some points and he's letting us in on the joke. He knows that so long as they remain petulant and undisciplined, he will always have a job. So he can tell them honestly to their faces that they are bad parents, that they are a terrible couple, that John is a sullen asshole and Yoko is a whiny bitch, and they will never ever fire him. They will argue with him but Yoko will have him back in her bedroom in 15 minutes to get him to read tarot cards for her again.

A few things I found interesting:

Sean is not portrayed at all in the book. John once describes Sean as overly quiet and meek especially around John and John says it's because he knows Sean is frightened of him. Interesting that this is at odds with Fred's portrayal of Sean. However I actually feel a little soft towards Charlie Swan on this because I think he did it to protect Sean, the way he said he would protect the Lennons' privacy at the beginning of the book. I legit think he was shielding Sean because Sean under 18 when Charlie published this. I think he didn't want Sean to have to wrestle with being depicted in a memoir at that age. The Dakota situation is so fucked up that I legit believe that this expert scam artist might have been in the only moral person on John and Yoko's payroll. I say this because Charlie is absolutely fearless towards John and Yoko in this book so he clearly didn't give a shit about being sued for libel. So IMO he did it to protect Sean because Sean was only a child.

John goes in a 15 month depression in 1978 because Sean once asked him (after seeing one of their poor cats fall out of a window) what happened to the cat that died. John tells him that the cat went to the Land of the Dead because it fell, explaining that nothing can survive a fall out of a window that high. Sean apparently thought about it and said "then Daddy, why haven't you walked out the window?" Jesus Christ.

Charlie scolds John for being a shitty parent and tells him that Sean is just a kid and that he doesn't understand what he's saying. He's just repeating things that he's heard around the house, and if you read between the lines you can feel Charlie judging John and Yoko because Charlie understands that this exposure to the occult is fucking Sean up. John becomes very surly and asks him "how the hell do you know" to which Charlie replies "I studied art therapy and child psychology in college for my teaching degree." (Independent verification has proven that this is true!) John sinks even deeper into a funk that yet another person is proving to be more knowledgeable about John's children than John himself, and rolls over in bed, beginning a 15 month period where he won't see anyone. He just lays there watching tv with the sound off.

Yoko is constantly on edge. She's obsessed with what people think of her. Charlie describes 1979/80 as being very trying because Yoko constantly repeating the same questions for Charlie to read for, trying to divine what stories journalists will write about her next.

John is similarly obsessed with having a positive PR image. He's deeply upset that no one liked his Rock n Roll or Shaved Fish albums (because they don't have new material.) John spends an entire chapter moaning that he hates his audience because they don't love him enough. Then he admits that he thinks he owes them new material but that he won't commit to anything without having a decent stock of songs to burn through. Then he swivels back to piling more blame onto his audience and continues bitching that they don't love him enough to make up for the anguish that he feels all the time. He piled a lot of blame and resentment onto The Public for not being able to "fix" his sadness.

At one point Yoko wants to buy blessings/curses from an actual witch so they go to Brazil. They find a bruja and Charlie intimates to the audience that brujas are expert con artists in a class of their own. He relates that a bruja once sabotaged a building project at which time the builders invited her onto the property to do an """exorcism""" from which she made a tidy profit and they were able to resume building. (Charlie does not depict it in precisely this way but he relates the story in such broad ""magical"" terms that you can see him grinning, pointing, winking, and nodding at you from across the room. Charlie made it as obvious as he possibly could that he was totally fucking with these people and that he knew when other magicians were fucking with people as well.)

Yoko has to sit through a week of a Brazilian woman putting her through fake and expensive rituals, all while putting on a fake Jamaican accent??? Yoko is so dumb and desperate that she doesn't see through it. Charlie is incredibly contemptuous through out the section. He does have an interesting "magic" battle with the bruja (here called Nora, her actual name was Lena) where they size each other up and the bruja agrees to take Yoko on as a client. Eventually Yoko gets cold feet and begs Charlie for a way to get her out of the rituals because she's scared that Nora mentioned a "blood sacrifice" and Yoko doesn't want to kill someone.

To which Charlie replies: "Yoko, why don't you just tell Nora how you feel? You're the client, if you don't want to make a blood sacrifice then just ask Nora to do something different. I don't think she's going to kill a person but if you're that worried then you can tell Nora about your concerns and she'll either change it or explain what will happen. You're paying her, remember?"

Yoko dissolves into more hysterics. She's scared the bruja will put a curse on her or Sean or John. She's too anxious to ask for clarification or help. Charlie rolls his eyes through the entire section.

Then the actual ritual happens, Nora kills a dove (poor thing) and then tells Yoko to sign her name to sell her soul to…something? I actually didn't understand what, though Charlie told Yoko "it's impossible for you to sell your soul so just go along with it dumbass."

But Yoko melts down. She can't do it. She begs Charlie to sign on her behalf and it sounds like she was actually crying because she was so scared. Charlie and Nora both sigh but Charlie signs the document and Nora goes "okay, done!"

Yoko then asks Charlie "Hey did you sign Charlie Swan or John Green?" To which Charlie replies, "what makes you think I signed either of those names?" Yoko freaks out and follows him around going "What name did you sign?? Whose soul did you sell??? Charlie?!!!! Charlie!!!!" But he never tells her lmao. He is so fucking contemptuous of her, it's amazing. This sequence is Charlie Swan rubbing his superiority in Yoko's face with utter glee, and he completely gets away with it. She's too scared to argue with him.

Obviously Charlie doesn't talk about everything here. For example, he and Sam Green both pulled a fast one on Yoko by counterfeiting a painting and selling it to her -- her own boyfriend! It was a complete success, she paid them both handsomely for it. He doesn't talk about that here. But it's clear from the outset IMO that he lies his ass off about tarot reading through out the entire book and is able to do as well as he does because he does actually have some good business sense.

I have to be honest: I respect the fuck out of Charlie Swan. This man is a king. He scammed John and Yoko out of millions. He did so well that he could tell them how awful they were to their faces and they had no choice but to swallow it whole. They didn't have the sac to stand up to him. And he was kind enough to write this book and show us how he did it: by taking advantage of their fear, petulance, and refusal to grow up. Dakota Days is an amazing book.

I have decided that the rocknroll industry is one big trailer park and John and Yoko had the biggest trailer. John is straight up wandering around in a robe and curlers reading the astrology and Dear Abby sections of the newspaper, Yoko is knocking back forties wondering when she can upgrade to the younger model. Sean is their poor kid with a learning disorder that is doing the pyromaniac thing. Going to Swiss boarding school (so that Yoko didn't have to be reminded of John) is probably what straightened him out and saved him.

Not trying to diss trailer parks, I met a lot of nice people who lived in them when I worked insurance, so pulling more from sitcom trash here. But John and Yoko fought, a lot, like these types of couples always do (that anecdote of Pete Shotton's second phone call where Yoko is screaming her head off in the background. I live next to a trashy family like this.) Who knows what Sean heard and what he repeated because he was so young.

This is the book that convinced me that John retreated into the Dakota out of shame. He knew that being with Paul was the best thing that ever happened to him, the only good thing, and he fucked it up with drugs and untreated mental illness. Which sadly has to be hung around his own neck. He blew his life up for no reason and he hid because he knew that.

John thought there were only two options: go back to Yoko or eat crow and go back to Paul. He couldn't stand either but at least with Yoko he didn't have to dance for the press. It never occurred to him that he had options and could do anything.

[devicecontact]

I feel like there’s something to say about how the very first song you hear in Ultrakill when you start the game is called “The fire is gone”. like right from the getgo even if you don’t get what it means yet or even are aware that’s the title it’s telling the player about it. Idk! It’s just cool to me and I feel like it could be better said but I hope you all get what I’m aiming at here

[vivmaek]

LUNAR PHASES

The moon acts as a guiding light within the night sky and humans have used it to orient themselves within time and space since the dawn of our existence. However, our connection to the moon goes beyond practicality. Looking up at the moon evokes a sense of comfort, and its beauty is inspirational. As much as our planet has changed, for better or for worse, the moon remains consistent with its cycles. This sense of stability offers us wisdom, and each period of the lunar cycle represents a different stage of growth.  I was inspired to write this post after reading a fascinating article that is titled, “Effects of different phases of the lunar month on humans.” The Author, Ujjwal Chakraborty, explored the ways in which the lunar cycle exerts influence upon human psychology and physiology. Chakraborty states, “The altered autonomic neural activity and cardiovascular activity during different lunar phases is probably one of the fundamental causes of the changes of human physiology.”(2014) The autonomic nervous system regulates heart rate, digestion, respiration, blood pressure, and sexual arousal. Any changes that occurs within the autonomic nervous system is going to affect human behavior. To see a spiritual phenomenon be explained through scientific research is incredibly thought provoking; this leads me to believe that the spiritual meanings attached to each lunar phase must hold a certain amount of truth to them. If anyone is interested, the article can be found here. Chakraborty has a few other articles dedicated to lunar research that are also quite compelling. If this information intrigues you, I’d recommend looking into “The Transylvania Effect.”  

I. Lunar Phase Personalities

Click here to calculate the lunar phase you were born under.

✰ New Moon - Individuals born under this phase tend to be psychic and are gifted in their ability to acknowledge the unseen. They represent new beginnings and trust their inner instincts. This can make them rather impulsive at times. New moon babies seek out adventure and are dedicated to the process of learning. They want to experience all that life has to offer them and are not afraid to dream big. This is the only phase of the moon that is absent of light, and because of this new moon babies naturally stand out from the rest. They also make for efficient leaders because their emotions and ego are in alignment. However, they’re not the types to seek attention and would prefer to work behind the scenes. Their introverted qualities and reserved nature spark a lot of intrigue. People born under this phase can find potential within any endeavor and always have a fresh perspective to offer up. Learning how to embrace the unknown is a major life lesson for these types. 

✰ Waxing Crescent - These types can appear timid, but once you get to know them they are incredibly lively individuals who are full of curiosity. They prefer to stick to the things that they know and might struggle with accepting change. People born under a waxing crescent moon might get stuck within the past at times. Being courageous is something they struggle with. However, they still feel a desire to go out and explore, but they will approach these adventures with a practical mindset. Waxing crescent babies are attached to their comfort zone and are good at maintaining this even when chasing after new experiences. They are also good at finding the right people to associate with. Security is everything to these types, and they prefer to build deep relationships with people who will be in their life for a very long time. I’ve noticed that these individuals might feel more awkward than they come across. They are perfectionist and struggle with self criticism, they might get stuck within their own head during social exchanges. 

✰ First Quarter - There are not many individuals born under a first quarter moon, which makes these types out to be rather unique. These people are the “main characters,” and they know it. They are not afraid to take charge of their own lives and are highly ambitious. Individuals born under this phase are not dependent upon admiration or attention. The only person they’re looking to impress is themselves. First quarter babies embrace challenges. The more challenges a situation throws at them, the more likely they are to succeed. The type of person  who never backs down, they love putting their skills and talents to the test. Someone looking for a solution is going to be drawn to an individual born under a first quarter moon. Their strong personalities invoke action within other people and they serve as a source of inspiration. These individuals become unstoppable once they develop patience and learn how to wait. 

✰ Waxing Gibbous - A sense of maturity is immediately evident within these individuals. They are natural caretakers and people often seek them out to be nurtured. Waxing gibbous babies have a calm presence that elicits a sense of peace within others. These types maneuver social situations with grace and making friends comes easy to them. They inspire other people to be better, and some might try to emulate them. Other people notice their potential and can see what they’re capable of achieving, but individuals born under this phase struggle to see it within themselves. They might feel life they somehow always fall short or will tell themselves that they are not “enough.” This is the opposite of how people are perceiving them. They must learn how to care for themselves in the same way they care for other people. Developing a deep sense of self love is vital for waxing gibbous babies. 

✰ Full Moon - Individuals born under this phase are filled to the brim with energy. They might come across as more aggressive than they intend to be. Learning how to gain control over their emotions is a major life lesson for these types. Full moon babies might feel as though they are being pulled in two opposite directions. Their ego and emotions are not in alignment, they feel stuck between passion and logic. Sometimes they will chase after their desires even if that's not what's actually best for them. They can see themselves going in many different directions and it can be hard for them to choose just one. This indecisive behavior frustrates other people, especially those who depend on them. These individuals will find more success once they develop a sense of consistency within their lives. Their sense of creativity is deserving of focus and should not be overlooked. As much as their spontaneous nature might frustrate people, they also bring with them a sense of excitement and this is greatly appreciated. 

✰ Waning Gibbous - People born under this phase are often sought after for their wisdom and ability to teach. These old souls are great at communicating their thoughts and learning comes easy to them. It is unlikely that they will have to be taught the same lesson twice, they are not the types to make the same mistakes over and over again. However, being judgmental of others may be a struggle. These individuals need to understand that not everyone is going to learn as quickly as they do. They might become frustrated watching their friends running into the same issues over and over again and will offer up unsolicited advice. It would be best to let people come to them, people will ask for help if they need it. These types tend to place themselves within positions of authority and might struggle with their listening skills. They’re often caught lecturing people when really they should be listening. 

✰ Third Quarter - These types are sentimental individuals who are capable of finding deep meaning within everyday life. They hold an appreciation for the little things and show gratitude for what they have. Third quarter babies become easily attached, it can be hard for them to move on from the past. They take things slowly and aren’t likely to be caught up within a rush. Their loyalty is often taken for granted, as well as their kindness. They are commonly found within their own little world. Nostalgia maintains a strong hold upon these types. However, this connection to the past can create unpleasantries within their present life. They may be quick to forgive, but that doesn't mean they’re over it. Sometimes this can be unfair, third quarter babies need to learn how to let go of the past when it's for the best. 

✰ Waning Crescent - The ultimate day dreamers. Waning crescent babies have an extremely active imagination and are highly creative. They often have visions of what's to come and very little takes them by surprise. People are drawn to their deep insight and are attracted to their unconventional personalities. These types have a mystical presence, it seems as if they are from another world. Their opinions are uniquely theirs, which can sometimes lead to them being outcasted. However, they thrive when alone and oftentimes complete their best creative work during these moments. Throughout life, they remain true to themselves and are not afraid to embrace their eccentric qualities. They have lots of unconventional wisdom to offer. Many of these types are psychic and are in touch with the spiritual realm, but don’t quite realize this. Learning to embrace and trust their intuition is a big lesson for these types. 

II. Living in Alignment with the Lunar Cycle

✰ New Moon - Plant your seeds. This is a time to set new intentions and begin new projects. Take it easy by planning a relaxing night in so you can get in touch with yourself. Forget about the past so you can focus on what's best for the present moment. Journal about your hopes and dreams and think about the steps you can take within the next week to get closer to your desires. Burn a white candle, and incorporate the smell of tangerine, lemon, and jasmine into your routine. 

✰ Waxing Crescent Moon - This is the time to be productive. Make sure to partake in healthy habits, give yourself an extra hour of sleep by going to bed early. Continue to build upon the goals you set for yourself during the new moon. Practice meditation to remain focused within daily life. Eat a meal that would be beneficial for your health. Burn a green candle and incorporate the smell of bergamot, cedarwood, and ginger into your routine. 

✰ First Quarter Moon - Take time to focus on what's working for you and what isn’t. What tweeks need to be made within your daily routines and habits? Try to complete any tasks you’ve been putting off under this lunar phase. Go for a walk and listen to music that energizes you. Burn a red candle and incorporate the smell of patchouli, lemon and ylang ylang into your routine. 

✰ Waxing Gibbous Moon - Practice patience and journal about the times in your life in which you persevered. Focus on the progress you’ve made thus far and show gratitude for what you have. Try to complete whatever preparations are needed for the next few days so they will run more smoothly. Burn a yellow candle and incorporate the smell of rose or juniper into your routine. 

✰ Full Moon - Celebrate all the work you’ve completed by doing activities that bring you happiness. Have a fun night out with friends, take yourself out to your favorite restaurant. This would be a good time to focus on socialization. Make an effort to show your friends and family  some love. Burn a pink candle and incorporate the smell of sandalwood, cardamom and cinnamon into your routine. 

✰ Waning Gibbous Moon - Take time to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned within the past couple weeks. This would be a great time to declutter your space. Make an effort to let go of any disappointment or minor inconveniences that have been bothering you. Be kind to yourself and journal about the opportunities certain failures have brought you. Burn a light blue candle and incorporate the smell of lavender and tea tree into your routine. 

✰ Last Quarter Moon - Remove yourself from your burdens by engaging your mind with relaxing activities. This would be a good time to sit within nature. Read a book, watch one of your favorite tv shows or movies. Journal about recent frustrations so you can get them off your chest. Practice forgiveness for yourself and for others. Burn an indigo candle and incorporate the smell of peppermint and eucalyptus into your routine. 

✰ Waning Crescent Moon - Prepare yourself a comfort meal and draw a hot bath. Stretch your body and practice breathing exercises. Give yourself a massage or ask someone else to give you one. Focus on what you are drawn to as well as the desires that are developed while in a state of relaxation, try to write them down. Burn a purple candle and incorporate the smell of frankincense, sage, and lavender. 

[vaspider]

Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

Improving Your Relationship With Food And Movement

Hey babesss I have improved my relationship with food and exercise these past few months. It was hard because I had to break down a lot of negative feelings and thoughts I had built around certain foods. I started yo-yo dieting and restrictive eating when I was 10 years old and it has had a lot of negative effects on my body not just physically, and mentally, but socially as well. These tips have changed my life and I hope they help you as well<3333

Signs you have a negative relationship with food.

♡ You think of food all the time. You think about what you're going to eat next and overthink your meals, and the calorie counts.

♡ Feeling guilt over your food choices. Whenever you eat something that might not fit into your “diet” you feel guilty and say negative things about yourself or “punish” yourself by excessive exercise or extreme restrictive eating. 

♡ You must earn your meals. This ties into the previous sign, you feel like you have to earn your meals through exercise and restrictions.

♡ You binge eat. Binge eating is having a large amount of food in a short period, accompanied by feelings of loss of control.

♡ You ignore hunger cues. You feel the urge to eat but don't allow yourself to because of a certain diet or restrictive eating.

♡ You can’t keep your favorite foods in the house. You can’t control yourself around your favorite foods due to going a long time without them because of restrictions.

♡ You emotionally eat. Using food to comfort you is okay sometimes BUT it becomes a problem when you turn to food constantly whenever something bad happens and causes negative emotions.

♡ It is stressful going out to eat. You can’t enjoy yourself at restaurants or turn down invites to restaurants or events because you are overwhelmed by the idea of food and calories.

♡ You’re stuck in a diet culture mentality. It is okay to want to lose or gain weight and get into a healthier body but you can do this without restrictive eating. 

♡ Your body dictates your food intake. If you are bloated you eat little or skip a meal altogether.

Signs you have a negative relationship with exercise.

♡ You use exercise as a punishment. Whenever you overeat or feel like you have you make yourself exercise for long periods.

♡ You feel guilty when you miss a workout. As women sometimes we can’t work out the way we want to because of our menstrual cycle and you need a break and it is okay to take a break.

♡ You exercise even if you're injured. Rest days are okay working out through injuries only makes injuries worse.

♡ You do workouts you don't like. You're focused on burning calories and not the enjoyment you feel when working out.

♡ Affecting your social life. You might excessively work out to the point you're missing events and invites to work out.

Tips to improve your relationship with food. 

♡ Learn about nutrition. A lot of us are uneducated on nutrition and how we should be eating to prevent excessive weight gain and malnutrition I will recommend a lot of books below to start your education on nutrition.

♡ Practice mindful eating. Slow down and become aware of what is happening to your body when you eat certain foods, and your hunger cues, and don’t make any judgments. Eat foods without distractions such as TV, books, and phones. Take your time to chew and taste your foods. Mindless eating is eating without control or out of boredom.

♡ Stop labeling foods. We tend to use the words “good” and “bad” when talking about foods. However, labeling foods can harm your relationship with foods. Welcome all food groups into your diet. Making food decisions shouldn't make you feel like a bad person or a good person. 

♡ Find enjoyment in food. Focus on enjoying food and the pleasures that come with preparing and enjoying food with others.

♡ Allow yourself to eat the foods you enjoy. It is okay to eat foods you enjoy in moderation, 

♡ Challenge negative self-talk. The way we speak to ourselves regarding food and diet can affect the way we view foods challenge those thoughts with positive thoughts when they come I recommend reading this blog post about your mental diet by @arielsreality

Tips to improve your relationship with exercise.

♡ Create your own vision of fitness. Everyone has different body goals and what they want to look like the media pushes an image not all of us want to fit into. So create a vision for what you want to look like.

♡ Try different forms of exercise. Try different types of exercise. If you don't like cardio, try weight lifting. If you don't like weightlifting, try pilates. There are many options to choose from, so give them a try. Do what feels right and brings you joy.

♡ Listen to your body. If your body is sore, skip a day and walk instead of lifting weights. Listening to our bodies is super important ignoring pain cues is very harmful.

♡ Embrace rest. Sleep is our best friend getting the right amount of sleep every night is what helps our glow-up journey over all. Taking rest days is super important as well.

♡ Understand your body changes. Your body at 12 is not your body now and that is a beautiful thing. We especially as women go through a lot of bodily changes so we have to let go of society's expectations of how our bodies should be and look like what do you want your body to look like? And how can you get there? 

♡ Follow women who look like you. Follow women with similar body types like yours. I have a Pinterest of women who have similar body types to mine labeled “Your body is beautiful” I look at it if I need reminders when feeling insecure. I follow a lot of black women on many platforms as a black woman because I like to see women who look like me in positions of success and wealth it motivates me. 

♡ Celebrate non-scale victories. Maybe instead of being stuck on the number on the scale, you tried those jeans that couldn’t fit before but now they are so comfortable. That is something to celebrate!

Book Recommendations 

♡ The Binge Code by Alison C Kerr

♡ Women Food And Hormones by Sara Gottfried

♡ The Food Therapist by Shira Lenchewski MS RD

♡ The Good Gut by Justin Sonnenburg

♡ Feed Yourself by Leslie Schilling 

♡ Reclaiming Body Trust by Hilary Kinavey MS LPC 

♡ The Food Mood Connection by Dr Uma Naidoo

[loveandleases]

Guess who's here with another AU ask??? 👀

Supernatural scenario: The ROs are perhaps bounty hunters or just a simple fantasy character and, somehow, they are 'bonded' to a vampiric or demonic MC who is just...CHOOSING to stay with them (cheekily or affectionately soff, I leave that for you to decide!). How would they handle it and what would change once they hit that rela stage?

(I actually have about 3 more questions, but I wanna make sure you don't get overwhelmed! 💜)

Also, can totally picture MC being demonic or vampiric due to being sold to the supernatural at a very young age by their parents to protect Jade - sorry for le dark headcanon 🤣

Ally~ 😃 You're making me want to work on... the thing. Nothing like some supernatural fun. (totally imagining a monster au similar to a certain vn 😉) (The amount of world building I did for each of these... I"m going to have to write these at some point I think.)

❤️ Cam - (Of course it turns him on.) (Hunter/Vampire)

He became a hunter to protect MC—an inside-man kind of deal. To join the hunters, Cam had to become bonded to a vampire, and who better than his bestie?

Pre-Relationship Stage:

It’s always been this way—an unspoken co-dependency. Cam is shunned by other hunters, who see MC as nothing more than a killer, a tool. But because they’re friends, he keeps his emotions in check, pushing down his feelings and curiosities. To a point. That breaking point? Learning that some of the 'approved' blood MC drinks come straight from the source. (jealous lil guy)

Relationship Stage:

“No sucking” from anyone else. Period. That is problematic, considering the hunters still expect MC to feed. But the rules the hunters made to maintain some separation (aka no drinking from the person you're bonded to) were thrown out the window. Why shouldn’t they be? Cam offers himself on a silver platter—pain or no pain. (whimpering mess)

Given that his blood strengthens their bond, heightening everything: their emotions, their strength, even Cam’s life itself. He’s more protective, observant, clingy—and completely unapologetic about it. He reeks of MC and doesn’t care. Ask him to step in front of a stake. He’s already there.

💙 G - Long gone are the days of cleric G. Somehow, they've moved onto Necromancy. (I blame Emmrich Volkarin.) Plus, the amount of longing. 🫦They didn't imagine being tied to anyone, especially not a damn demon. It takes a certain level of control to use their magic. They raise the dead, command spirits, bend life and death to their will. Fate might have been involved, at least that's what they say. The one time G goes against the plans laid out for them, this happens. They tried to banish MC… and ended up bonded instead. 🙄I'm not saying someone performed a poorly worded ritual...

Pre-Relationship Stage: There was a freedom before, even though G had to obey the Necromancy Guild's order. They were left to themselves. Yeah, that's out the damn window. Their is a tether between them now, an unexplainable connection. Who knew a demon would be breaking down G's well planned barrier. They could leave, but for some reason, they don't. So, reluctantly, G lets them in. Who knew a Necromancer and a demon could have a good friendship? Though they do argue... a lot. MC has a well of knowledge they just want to share.

Relationship Stage: It was a slow process to get to the realization that there was something more there. They touched everything within each other. A lifeline. G's magic pulled from MC's very existence. And MC's existence pulled from G. Each kiss felt as if they were swallowing one another whole, but they weren't they were just melding into one another. G was making MC's existence permanent, and MC was making G human. They made G feel things they couldn't dream of, nor conjure up.

Before G hid behind a well thought out mask, even when they were affected by their emotions they could hide it. But not now, not around MC. They could feel each other's emotions, each other's very breath of life. And when they were close to one another, they could feel it as if it was a flame being stoked.

💚 Kara - (Different type of vamp bonding.) It began as a night meant for fun, a little indulgence, and a taste of danger. What started as a (blood) drunken kiss quickly escalated when Kara’s curiosity got the better of her. She’d always wondered—what would fangs against her skin feel like? Would it hurt, or would it thrill? Neither she nor MC were aware of what came next. The bond was accidental, a tether neither of them sought nor understood.

Pre-Relationship Stage: They weren't strangers, but their connection was surface-level - a mix of camaraderie and flirtation. Devoid of true depth. To be bonded to someone you're hiding secrets from, or choose not to admit a crush about, it's hell. MC could feel her emotions, each little time she tells a white lie there's an undercurrent, a change in her scent that just gives her away. It left her vulnerable. The bond forced her to confront a part of herself she'd long buried. She wasn't used to being truly seen. Always just an extra - the fleeting face people desired for a night but forgot by morning. But MC stayed. What began as obligation grew into something real.

Relationship Stage: Kara had loved before - or at least she thought she had. In her mind, those fleeting connections had been important at the time, but they were ephemeral. Everyone eventually took what they wanted and left. She'd believed she had nothing to offer anyone who could outlive the span of her years. Yet with MC, it was different. They didn't want anything grand or eternal. They didn't want power, her beauty, or her lineage. All they asked for was her time, a precious little thing she'd never realized could be enough to give. With MC, Kara found herself letting go of the guilt of caring. She embraced it. Allowed herself to feel every part of their bond. The joy of their affection, the thrill of their fangs sinking into her flesh, and the warmth that came from knowing she was wanted. Truly wanted. For the person beneath the skin, the nameless thing, that makes a body home.

💛 M - The poor thing opened up a tome one too many times, trying to find some fragment of inspiration. Only to have opened a book that held something far greater. A demon without a home, without a name. Surely, M could grant them that much? But you see, naming a demon isn't just an act of kindness. It's a commitment. To name a demon is to give it purpose, to give it meaning - a reason to stay. A 'bond' if you will.

Pre-Relationship Stage: They're excited, immeasurably so. How could they not be? How often does one get the chance to talk to a demon? M doesn't think anything of it, just a new friend they happened to have come across, who has tales of ancient things that are written about. Even experienced. A hierarchy that no one ever knew. All of it floods M with inspiration, with desire to write and create. To learn more about them, and little by little to care about them. At first it was a small part, a little inkling in the back of their had that they never really paid attention to. You care about friends right? You want what's good for them... you want to spend more time with them and see them when you wake. You want to kiss those lips that are just right there and... oh shit, M... M might very well have fallen for them. And much to their surprise, they fell too.

Relationship Stage: It's all new, exciting, and when the excitement wears off. What they call "newlywed stage', it's even better. For the first time, M understood what it meant to be truly loved, to be wanted. They felt it in small moments: the fleeting kiss pressed to their cheek, they way their energies intertwined late at night during their first time together, the hum of magic and intimacy beneath their skin. M couldn't believe they hadn't noticed it before - how their connection had been building all along, in late - night conversations and shared laughter. That feeling in their chest, so warm and fluttering, wasn’t just inspiration. It was love.

💜 Isaac - They had one target, simple enough. One demon to take out, their essence to be sold to the highest bidder. It was a shit job, dangerous even, but it was a job like any other. There was no way Isaac could predict that the tattoos that were carved into his skin, ancient relics, would have another purpose. They had only ever destroyed demons before... but imagine his surprise when he finds a person, wounded and bloody only covered by a sheet, that his tattoos barely react to. Until the moment his fingertips touch them, and the tattoos come alive, shining like never before. Imagine his surprise when this person informs Isaac that his tattoos, don't only kill demons they bind them. So why didn't they kill MC, like every demon before? Because they weren't just a demon, not entirely.

Pre-Relationship Stage: He's angry, the last things he needs is someone close, demon or not. He doesn't have time for this, or any kind of attachment. He needs to fulfill his goal, a promise he made to himself as he sat in front of his dying mother. No demon would be safe until he found the one responsible. No matter how hard Isaac tries, he can't keep his distance. He can't just sit and watch them die. Albeit reluctantly, Isaac and MC are together. In some unholy way, but it doesn't feel unholy. He spends many nights craving a drink to forget how it feels. The energy under his skin and along his arms, the way he can feel the weight of their gaze on him. And they probably feel his too. Or the way his breath catches when they're close. He's flirty with others, but it's a ruse, a ploy to keep people at arms reach. But the demon or half-demon, he is told over and over again. He would much rather reach his arms out for.

Relationship Stage: Their relationship grew naturally. Over time, MC began to see the pain etched into Isaac’s heart—the wounds left behind by his past, by the loss that shaped him. And he began to see them as more than just some bond - a remnant of something he thought was meant to destroy. But as a person. It was impossible not to since the day he saw them, he just wanted to fight it. There's a depth to him that comes out like vapor. His affection, a promise, of staying by their side and keeping them safe. A promise to not lose them like he did his mother, bond or no bond. Isaac has fallen for them in ways that makes his soul hurt. Because the piece that had been missing he finally found. He’s softer now, more caring. Imagine a demon hunter—someone forged in blood and vengeance—soft A demon hunter who learns that not all demons are evil or need to be killed. MC showed him that some of them, like them, belong.

And now Isaac knows… they belong together.

🖤 Ardent - An innkeeper, simple enough. Or it should be. But, of course, like everything else in his life, it isn't. Imagine his surprise when he goes to tell someone they’ve overstayed their welcome, only to find them bloody, half-naked, and unconscious. He grumbles the entire time, bitching that this isn't his job or his problem. But for some damn reason, he can’t just leave them. He’s seen it before—the aftermath of a vampire attack. The transition. The change. But the look of pain on MC’s face? He can’t bear it.

So, against his better judgment, he offers the one thing he has: blood. Human blood alone can’t bond a vampire—it’s magic that binds. And Ardent's blood, unknown to him, isn’t entirely human. It carries ancient, dormant magic. When MC drinks from him, the magic in Ardent's blood doesn’t just fill their body—it freezes the transition, preventing MC from fully succumbing to their vampiric nature. They remain in limbo: no longer human, not quite vampire. They hover on the precipice.

They still need to feed, but they aren’t consumed by it. They can stand in the sun but need more hours of rest. There is a lingering sensation of that magic in their body and a strange connection—an echo of life in Ardent’s hands.

Pre-Relationship Stage: Ardent is all "fuck me for being empathetic." He doesn’t need another mouth to feed, another person to be responsible for. And yet, somehow, he feels responsible. They aren’t dead, not exactly. They look at him with those warm eyes, as if he’s some kind of savior. No matter how much he hates it, how much he tries to fight it, Ardent just can’t turn them away or toss them out. A part of him actually enjoys their company.

Relationship Stage: His eyes might have lingered, and they might have noticed. When their lips curved into a smile, and the glint of their fangs caught the light, something in his stomach churned. A heat he tried to ignore. He’d gotten used to them being around, hell, he even liked it. He might even admit he would miss them if they left. And that is something he fears—that one day, they’ll wake up and realize they could be anywhere else. But instead, they choose to be with him. And that realization has him melting for them.

No one could get him on his knees willingly, except for MC. At first, he worries that his blood has enraptured them somehow. But the truth is, it’s the other way around. Their very existence has captured him—hook, line, and sinker. And if his heart was ice before, guarded and hidden away for safety, it’s ripe for the taking now.

[twinkling-moonlillie]

Headcannons for Hawks fluffy but little be suggestive if possibly alright.

~🩷

A/n: Yes yes yes yes, I love this. This isn't super long but I hope you enjoy. Nothing makes me happier than receiving requests!! This was a much needed distraction. I have another request I am almost done with too, so expect that Friday.

Hawks Headcanons Part 2: Fried Chicken Boogaloo

Warnings: Suggestive

Keigo wasn’t a jealous or possessive guy, but he loves being able to mark up your neck with lovebites. Not only was it enjoyable to see you writhe when he had his lips on your neck, but he felt proud knowing that people were aware that you’re his.

Keigo is very perceptive of everything going on around him, which works to his advantage when gift giving is one of his top love languages. He is able to notice the way your eyes linger on a certain necklace or outfit and loves to surprise you with those items later on. He is so keenly aware that he notices when something is bothering you. 

And although sometimes he isn’t able to thoroughly articulate the comfort he desperately wants to give, he DOES conveys it through his actions. 

Hugs are 10x better with his wings; it’s like a second pair of arms keeping you warm. 

One of the things he delights in the most is when you share parts of your normalcy with him. Sharing stories about your day while nuzzled up on the couch, or agonizing over an essay due at midnight, or even going to the grocery store. He adores it all because they are the things he lacked as a child, the things he currently lacks as a hero. Keigo doesn’t care if it’s mundane. 

Keigo has a habit of singing or humming when cooking or doing chores. 

PET NAMES! Oh my god does this man love pet names.  He is particularly fond of calling you his little songbird or lovelark. But he does use regular pet names as well, such as darling and baby. 

He is absolutely smitten over the intimacy of skin-on-skin contact, whether that be through sex or something else. When you two sleep together, he sheds all of his clothes hastily - or if it’s right after sex he makes no move to retrieve his clothes. He is also fairly certain he can keep you warmer than any pesky clothing item you may have. 

This man, this fucking BIRD, loves kissing you. Anywhere will do, just as long as it is somewhere. Sweet little kisses on the forehead after a bad day, steamy kisses as he pins you against the wall, loving kisses when you have to part for a significant period of time (anytime away from you is a significant amount), morning kisses painted with streaks of gold, night kisses memorizing curves of your body, ALL OF THEM. HE NEEDS THEM ALL. 

[tonyboneysblog]

MOTHER HEN: PART SEVEN

parings: hawks x mother!reader

wordcount: 3.2k

warnings: none

notes: daddy’s…home? genuinely so excited to write the next chapter cause if you notice the timeline, something big is coming😈😈

summary: you, the mother of Fumikage Tokoyami, are just a simple nurse! Who caught the eye of a certain pro.

You haven’t gotten a text from hawks in the past four days, which puts you in a sour mood.

technically it’s a little bit of your fault for kissing his forehead- but if the little shit would have just let you explain…

what’s even worse is that your unable to watch the sports festival- fucking hospital job.

And when you finally get home from that hellhole, Fumikage will be sassy cause you weren’t able to watch him.

He wouldn’t be angry just..slightly disappointed?

Then when you cuddled up in your nest yesterday you see that damned hawks plush you spent 30 dollars on…

So here you are at this amazing place of work! against your will of course.

Currently you’re at the water station- until you were rudely pulled away due to a pro hero getting hurt…as usual.

You open the door to see a younger, dark skinned woman with white hair and the cutest bunny ears on her head.

She looks at you and starts waving happily…your heart would feel warm if it weren’t for the blood on her face.

“Names Mirko!” Oh, you know her! Your sister used to be obsessed with her…well for a short period of time but still obsessed no the less.

“Mirko, how you feeling today?”

She sends you a thumbs up, “terrible!”

You chuckle softly and walk over towards her, accompanying another one of the doctors.

“What’s her condition?”

The doctor sighs, “nothing too serious, we ought to check her for a concussion though..and she’ll have to at least spend one night here.”

“With those injuries it should be longer no?”

The doctor shakes his head, “can’t keep Mirko tied down for too long.” Then proceeds to just…walk out.

But Mirko doesn’t let it stay too quiet.

“So, your name is?”

You smile softly, “ Y/N Tokoyami.”

Mirko looks like she’s pondering for a moment..looks as if she knows you from somewhere.

“I swear I’ve heard that name before..” she says quietly.

You smile again, “you probably have, so is there anything you need?”

Mirko puts her attention back onto you, “nah, I’ll be alright.”

“Really, Why’d the doctor call me in then?”

“Because I complained my ass hurt, I’ve been laying in bed all day.”

You chuckle, “that all?”

She nods her head quickly.

“Well, let’s hope you don’t get a bed sore kay?” You shoot a thumbs up towards her, same she did to you earlier.

Then you walk out, wondering why she even needed you…

But Mirko knew why, hawks told her you were nurse and she wanted to she what all the fuss was about.

Truthfully, he’d been talking about you every time she saw him while on patrol.

She supposes his ramblings are correct, you’re cute.

Then again Mirko has never really pinned hawks as the mamas boy type, and you echo the motherly type.

But you’re sweet, maybe that’s why he’s so attracted to you?

So, Mirko pulls out her phone to bother hawks about his little high school boy crush.

she took it the the group chat though, little asshole.

BEST PROS.

carrot foot

Found ur gf hawks

caw caw bitch

what

caw caw bitch

where

jorts

who?

carrot foot

Hospital

INCOMING FACETIME CALL

Mirko sighs and answers it.

“Where is she, she look cute?” Hawks says frantically.

Mirko shakes her head, “again hawks, get a grip.”

Mirko can hear the wind howling into the phone, of course hawks is flying while on the phone.

“Answer me.” Hawks says sternly.

Mirko immediately starts rambling about the very small amount of information she has on you, “Damn you got a mommy kink or something, cause that woman is a MILF. I mean M.I.L.F.”

“What- what the hell does…no?” Mirko can pick on hawks confusion through the phone.

“Hawks, man, that woman echos mother. Here she is mothering throughout the halls of a hospital!”

“Mirko, what’s your point here.”

“I mean she’s hot dude, get your head in the game…or in her i don’t-“

Mirko can then her hawks yelling loudly out of shock, “GROSS MIRKO, DONT MAKE JOKES LIKE-“

If he yelled any louder you could probably hear him in the halls.

Mirko laughs loudly, “Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m joking.”

Then there’s an uncomfortable silence on the phone, a little too long for comfort.

but then of course hawks breaks it- as him usually does.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind…”

Mirko starts laughing again, “aha! Damn dirty bird- go get your wings ruffled elsewhere man!”

Hawks responds quickly, ignoring Mirko comment.

“I gotta go- I see a best jeanist and I’d like to go pull his ear.”

Mirko huffs, “fine, but he isn’t your wingman-I am.”

Hawks laughs softly and hangs up, leaving Mirko in silence.

Until you walk in.

“Oh, there’s my favorite nurse!” She beams.

“Do you mind if I watch the sports festival in here? My kids in it..”

Mirko nods her head, “I don’t mind- need to look for recruits anyways.”

So, there you and Mirko sit watching the sports festival together.

Many times throughout it you had to put a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from screaming and alerting the others your not technically working at the moment.

but during every break in the sports festival, you rushed and did your actual duties as quickly as you could.

Then when you came back, and the 1V1 battles have already started.

And of course your gorgeous boy conquers and destroys the competition.

One after another, what was most surprising to you was seeing todorokis and midoriyas fight, aggressive and raw.

made you vividly remember that was the boy who tripped on his own ice..

You were a little scared that’d he have to face your Fumikage.

Instead it was Katsuki Bakugo who faced him, and after that fight he’ll be the only kid who doesn’t get your end-of-semester cookies.

I mean cmon! Grabbing your son by the beak?! Unbelievable…angers you to your core because who does he think he is?!

But it’s fine.

Fumikage would’ve won if it were anyone else.

But Fumikage still got third, and you can shove it in all your friend’s faces that your son is awesome and that they could never.

Because Fumikage is one of a kind.

You look over to Mirko after jumping for joy for your son’s new shiny medal.

“He’s a good fighter, y’know I know someone all birdy like that.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yea, hawks.” She says bluntly.

You can feel the color drain from your face, hawks low key, high key broke your heart after your last interaction.

“Oh… well I’m sure Fumikage will consider an invitation from him.- if he wanted to work with him.” You say while tapping your fingers together.

Mirko pulls out her phone, typing something, you don’t know exactly what but…it’s whatever.

carrot foot

yea your cooked bud

caw caw bitch

what

Mirko seats down her phone next to the table, where you can hear it buzzing loudly…

“Uhm are you gonna check that?” You say nervously.

“Nah, he’s fine.” She says as she finally relaxes into the bed she had been complaining about all day apparently.

“Ah…okay?” You then hop out of the seat, making your way back to your work.

You should get him an apple pie to celebrate, or maybe just straight apples cause Fumikage will go crazy either way.

Hawks briefly crossed your mind again, what was his favorite again? Wasn’t apples you know what…it was probably something dumb- just like him…

dumb, dumb, dumb man.

enough of him, you have work to do…

right after you call Fumikage!

It rings, but he doesn’t answer? Which is weird because Fumikage always answers his phone unless it’s dead.

Yes that’s probably why, he’ll call you right back when it charges.

But Fumikages phone was in-fact not dead, he was just…distracted?

Fumikages eyes squint slightly, “What could you possibly want.”

It’s hawks he’s being so standoffish with, but hawks just sends him a soft smile.

“It’s the sports festival, of course I’d be here.”

“You decide to stalk me instead of my mother?”

Hawks goes quiet, his carefree smile faltering.

“Not exactly..we got in a small spat.”

“If you’re trying to get me to talk to her for you, it’s not gonna work.” Fumikage starts to walk away before hawks grabs his shoulder.

Then dark shadow comes out.

Hawks steps off slightly, “that’s kinda freaky…”

“Kinda like your face.”

Dark shadow looks over to Fumikage, “that wasn’t even a good comeback.”

“Shut up dark shadow.”

Dark shadow scoffs and folds his cute little shadow arms with what looks to be a pout on his face.

Hawks face completely loses the carefree smile, “I’m serious when I say I’m not here for you…well not technically.”

“What do you mean by that.”

“Yea, what do you-“

“Dark shadow…”

Hawks lets out a small breath, “I was interested in you being my sidekick due to the skills you showed off on the fie-“

“Not interested” Fumikage says curtly.

Dark shadow whips his head over to look at Fumikage with surprise, whispering something in his ear.

“He’s number three- you can’t just reject an offer from him!”

“I can, and I just did.”

Then it’s silent, Fumikage doesn’t mind though.

Hawks sighs softly, putting back on the smile Fumikage hates so much.

“Well if you ever rethink it, my agency will always be open.”

“I hope retribution comes for you in the darkness of your home.”

Hawks stays quiet but then his face twists into confusion, “what does that even mean..?”

Fumikage huffs and if he had hair he would most likely flip it whilst walking away.

Fumikage leaves hawks standing outside, utterly confused in what Fumikage was even talking about.

Maybe that’s what you meant when you said Fumikage was unique…

speaking of you, you were still at that darn hospital.

Fumikage was aware of that, you always worked a lot but the times that you weren’t working you tried your best to spend them with him.

Until Mr. Pro-Hero decided to come into your life..

The first time Fumikage really noticed your relationship with hawks was when you had the talk on the balcony.

He knew he wasn’t going crazy when he thought someone was under a blanket, a blanket you don’t even use may he add.

Then the next day when he went up to your balcony, the blanket was in-fact no where to found.

Then he caught him in your kicthen, Fumikage debated on even eating the cookies because maybe hawks terrible aura rubbed off on them.

They were delicious but that’s not the point!

Then hawks wanders into Fumikages home, which was locked, uninvited looking for you.

Only time Fumikage could tolerate hawks was when he had to save you from the bar.

But then his tolerance shot down when he walked in on the two of you coddling each other.

Then he heard the “little spat” you and hawks had which is why he rushed into your room so fast.

Honestly, who does that damn fowl think he is?!

Fumikage explains all of this to poor dark shadow, who truly just wanted to watch a movie with him.

“Sounds rough.” Dark shadow says quietly.

Fumikage huffs, “It’s worse than rough dark shadow, it’s appalling.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so…extreme with hawks- Momma seems to like him.”

“Correction, liked, my mother will never participate in any romances with that man again.”

Fumikage ends the conversation there, but dark shadow would like to expand on the topic.

“It was nice of hawks to offer you that side kick position.”

“well being nice doesn’t cut it.”

Finally, the conversation about hawks is finished, Fumikage only ranted for 4 hours this time!

And he’d finished 3 movies in that time as well…maybe the hospital will let you off early.

So Fumikage and dark shadow fight the urge to rest, which they both utterly fail and fall asleep on the couch.

You come in around 5:30 so they never stood a chance, not after the day Fumikage had.

You walk into the door, spotting only Fumikage.

You stumble over towards him, sitting on the floor and brushing your hand through his feathers.

Fumikage is knocked out, so he won’t wake up if you pick him up.

You use all your remaining strength to pick Fumikage up, making your way towards your bedroom.

It’s been a minute since Fumikage got cuddles from his mama.

And also you seriously doubt you could carry Fumikage back to his room, then walk back to yours without passing out onto the floor.

You place Fumikage under the warm covers, then yourself.

You then wrap your hands around Fumikage as tightly as you possible could, as if someone would take him away if you didn’t.

Then you rest, same as Fumikage.

Same as hawks.

And hawks truly needs to thank you for whatever you did to make him stop having those nightmares.

barely dreams now, and if he does it’s always weird shit.

usually has you in it too.

nevermind, you probably cursed him and overrode whatever put that nightmare spell on him.

a curse that just makes him dream about you.

Now he really wishes he talked Mirko into getting a picture of you, he misses you bad.

Maybe a text wouldn’t hurt? No, too risky- you’re probably still mad at him.

Maybe he could worm his way back into your life with that weighted blanket, if his plan worked he could probably steal it back anyways.

It still smells like you, which is weird because he’s had it for awhile.

That’s probably his favorite part of the day now, getting home, taking a shower, cuddling into his mostly bare bed and just sniffing that shit like it’s coke.

Kinda like how some people spray lavender onto their beds to get sleepy, he just smells the hell out of that blanket.

He wishes he was able to snatch another item from your house that smelled like you.

Fumikage doesn’t really smell like you, he noticed.

He smells kinda like wood? And also a little fruity too.

You wouldn’t really guess fruits and flowers from looking at him but maybe your scent rubbed off on him too.

Honestly, hawks kinda feels like Edward when Bella first walked into that classroom though- hawks wouldn’t be covering his mouth to avoid the smell, he would be INHALING that smell.

He would never admit that the night that he comforted you out on that balcony he didn’t even go home and change, he kept that uniform on.

The coat didn’t truly smell like you, but the under shirt did.

Maybe he’s going a little crazy, sure he’s real kept together most the time but- the things you do to that poor man.

And Mirko- peacefully sleeping in the hospital, she may be hawks wingman but she needs her rest too!

And when you wake, you’ll have to go right back to the hospital.

doesn’t men’s you can’t talk to your son before you leave though.

“Mama.” Fumikage says sleepily, awoken from you moving all around the room.

You perk up now your son’s awake, “Fumikage?”

Fumikages eyes a still closed, fighting to go back to sleep.

“Did you see me, in the sports festival?”

You run your hands through Fumikages feathers, “Course’ I did.”

Fumikage smiles softly, “guess who talked to me after..?”

“All might? I saw it on-“

“No it was hawks, invited me for an internship.”

You jaw slacks slightly, “did you accept?”

“No, not after what he’s done.” Fumikage says with a little rasp in his own voice.

“You should’ve.”

“What?”

You sigh, “hawks is number three- doesn’t matter what he did to me Fumikage.

Fumikage stays silent, suddenly now regretting telling you.

“But…”

You kiss his temple, “thank you for thinking about how I’d feel though. Don’t let my emotions or relationships get in the way of your future.”

Fumikage nods, understanding your point of view.

“Are you leaving for work?”

“Yep, it’s not a long shift though.”

You open your bedroom door, “I’ll see you later, Fumi.”

Then walking out of your own house, making your way to the hospital.

Once you walk in, your infact greeted with Mirko!

and hawks.

“Ah, my favorite nurse!” Mirko cheers excitedly.

“Mirko! Shouldn’t you still be on bed rest?”

Mirko chuckles, “glad you’re worried about me toots.”

You gasp a small bit at the nickname, “Oh!”

Mirko places her hand onto her hip, “Hey, didn’t I see you hear like 7 hours ago, why you already back?”

“Duty calls?”

Hawks chuckles at that, wasn’t even funny.

Mirko throws an arm around hawks, “this was the birdy boy I was talking about!”

“We’ve met.”

suddenly there was an awkward silence.

Hawks wanted to throw himself out a window, you wouldn’t even look at him.

Mirko taps her foot nervously.

“Hawks…” you say his name softly.

His head perks up form Mirko hold, “yeah?”

“Sorry that Fumikage rejected you…I know how he is.”

Hawks can feel his heart beating in his ears, “it’s all good- doors always open.”

You nod softly, looking away.

The three of you just stand there in silence, Mirko foot tapping repeats.

Then she breaks, “Mrs Tokoyami, sorry for holding you up-You got a job to do!”

You jump in surprise, “ah- your right, it was nice talking to you both!”

You quickly walk away to clock in, Mirko and hawks make there way outside.

She scoffs, “had the perfect opportunity.”

Hawks rolls his eyes, “I wasn’t gonna apologize to her in a hospital.

“I’m going to put you in the hospital/ what the hell even was that back there?!” Mirko exclaims.

Hawks pushes her arm away, “I was nervous.”

“Doors always open!” Mirko mocks him.

“Oh quiet down.”

“I’m your wingwoman- giving you a perfect chance and you fuck it all up.”

“It wasn’t that bad-“

Mirko smacks the back of his head, “Hawks, shut your trap.”

Hawks doesn’t reply, walking next to Mirko throughout the less populated areas of town.

Mirko snaps her fingers, “You know what, I can fix this.”

“You can?”

“Of course I can, I’m Mirko.”

Hawks groans softly, already annoyed by the days events.

Mirko starts her plan, “clearly she cares a good bit about her son-but there feeling are mostly separated for different things.”

Hawks nods along.

“So instead of getting all cushy with her son again, you need to fix it with her- clearly your not gonna getting through with her son based on what you told me earlier.-“

Hawks interrupts, “her son is always home though.”

“Don’t interrupt me, he goes to U.A. I bet they have some trip for passing the exam.”

“How are we supposed to find that out?”

Mirko groans, “let me talk, I’m always going to that hospital for some reason- I’ll find something out…she likes me unlike you.”

Hawks looks away with a pout, “Don’t say that…”

“I’ll say whatever I want, I’m your wingwoman.”

Hawks and Mirko continue their walk up until they get to his agency, since Mirko doesn’t have one.

Though Mirko continues walking, “See ya later, Hawkey.”

“Where are you going?”

“To my house?- don’t fuck up anything else while I’m gone.”

Hawks huffs lightly, walking into his own office.

He has so much paper work to do, then the commission will be badgering him later for “doing it wrong” according to them.

He can’t wait to just be home.

Be home next to you.

or…your blanket at the very least?

…he really needs to fix this.

TAG LIST: comment to be tagged!

@lost-in-horrorland @boopjuice @validveenus @qardasngan @arminsarlerts @star-the-rabid-dog @bunni-teeth81 @lightsgore @portgasdbruh @camejlo-35 @marsbars09 @tharae514 @yoongiwantsme @kimahrii @pink-jello-fish @l1vvvvv @0-seonghwa-0

if I still somehow didn’t include you in the tag list, just go ahead to ask box! :D

(seonghwa, I’m so sorry if it didn’t tag you because I genuinely couldn’t find your blog for the life of me ): )

[amazinglyashy]

"Sylus? A prankster? Get out of here-"

Pairings: Sylus x Reader, Luke and Kieran & Reader Summary: A short drabble about what goes on after all of the shady dealings, blackmail, and betrayal in the N109 zone. About how Sylus may have quickly discovered just how alike you are to the two henchmen he employs- and maybe, he isn't so different himself, either . Tags: Fluff, Pranks, Gender-neutral pronouns for Reader, Drabble Notes: I genuinely really love writing not just for Sylus, but a bit concerning the antics of Luke and Kieran. I might make some headcanon posts regarding the two of them soon actually, but we will see! Wordcount: 640

The problem was that Sylus had thought, against any sort of better judgement, really, that you were perhaps... similar to him.

He didn't think in the more obvious ways, no- he didn't think you would ever be a consistent player in black market dealings, he knew your idea of speeding was going maybe 15 over the limit at the max, and you definitely preferred nice cocktails over anything more simple like gin fizz or whiskey.

But he had thought you had a certain air of... maturity to you, that could match his own normally.

Well, you had proved him wrong.

Especially with Luke and Kieran.

He was honestly going to have to stop referring to them as the twins, and refer to the three of you as something more akin to the three musketeers.

It was a practically daily occurrence where he would wake up, and something, anything, would be out of place. Maybe the top three pairs of socks in his drawer were now mismatched, maybe the soaps in his shower were rearranged so his muscle memory would grab a bottle of conditioner instead of the shampoo and end up realizing only after he smoothed it across his damp hair. Nothing too big, but- little things.

And what made it worse, was that in joining those two little brats, you had effectively made the entire unit of you three better off. You were a horrible liar, but your brought not only a certain special brand of new ideas, but you also made it more difficult for Sylus himself.

See, he couldn't well punish the three of you with those sweet kitten eyes staring back at him if the three of you managed to get caught- and your involvement also was stirring up something... not quite new, per se. But something that had long since become dormant, and was so very rarely unearthed again throughout time.

And that was probably why you had found yourself putting on the wrong shoe on the wrong foot after visiting him occasionally, impulsively assuming that they had been left exactly how you had left them, too busy chatting with Kieran about something before you went on your way to notice ahead of time. Or maybe it was why you found your tongue turned purple in the mirror, stained such a goofily saturated color from something he had put in your portion of dinner set out at the table.

Of course, it took you a considerable amount of time to discover who was doing it- you had assumed Kieran had done it- or maybe Luke, out of revenge for not spending enough time with them, or because you had slighted them in some way. There was a small period of infighting between the three of you, before the dawning realization had come that- if it wasn't any of the three of you- who could it be...?

And while the three of you had all agreed on the same notion, that notion being that Sylus, the ruthless leader of Onychinus, did not play pranks, it was getting increasingly difficult to try and pin the blame on anyone else. Anyone else who worked for the man knew their place, or in better terms- wouldn't dare risk a silly prank directed at anyone who had a body count, or was closely associated with those with body counts.

It didn't take any of you long, however. To get past the initial disbelief-turned-shock about how Sylus was slowly joining in more and more in small little bouts of mischief- returning pranks that he received, or coming up with new ideas entirely- and start making even more of a game than it had been before. The four of you had a wonderful little game going on, and none of you seemed to want it to stop.

Not anytime soon, at least.

[leoascendente]

PAC/ Major blessings of the new year ✨️

Hi my loves! Welcome back to another pick a card, this time focused into the new year and what will be the major blessings this new year has in store for you. As always, take a deep breath and take a moment to choose your pile, I suggest you to pick the one that makes you smile the most.

I wish you the best year possible, may peace, happiness and love be always by your side every day of this new year ❤️

Decks: Woodland wardens oracle, Raider Waite tarot and astrodices

For private readings click here / 2024 readings are open

My blog in Spanish here

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners

Pile 1/ pile 2/ pile 3

Pile 4/ pile 5/ pile 6

Pile 1:

This new year will be your year of preparation, there's something huge coming into your life at some point but first you need to learn some new skills to get and keep the success you are looking for. Universe is giving you extra time to prepare what you really want to achieve, it's like a period for trying new things and tests what works best for you, especially in matters of career and money because you'll be very lucky in these areas. If you are thinking into opening your own bussiness and be an enterpreneour, this year will be a lucky year for you but the cards wants you to focus on burocracy and legal matters too, you'll have it easy but there are some things you'll need to learn before, like paying taxes on time or investing money wisely

Your areas of luck will be about starting projects and trying new things it's all about taking the lead without fearing risk, whenever you follow your inner compass you'll find yourself attracting more abundance than what you expected. You'll also be very lucky when it comes to gain wealth and what will play the most at your favor is your knowledge about burocracy or legal matters, not only for this year but the years ahead where you'll be managing big amounts of money.

This year will be filled by happiness and meaningful changes, sometimes change can be overwhelming but for you this feels like something you've been waiting for a long time, a desired transformation of your reality. You are the group that got more major arcana, so this 2024 will be an end of a cycle where your life will take a 180-degree turn, there's also this energy of getting out of your head so much and starting focusing on your present moment. With the empress and the magician cards, I see you'll feel a lot more grounded and, for what I'm feeling, this will help you attract money easilly, you'll be a literal money magnet this new year. These two cards are also indicators of a good year of prosperity with work and money, the empress also indicates a huge physical glow up and a boost in your confidence, you'll feel super empowered during the new year ahead :)

Pile 2:

This new year brings you balance and stability, you'll feel a lot more supported and certain about the path you are taking in life, things will feel more peaceful for you this new year. If you deal with anxiety or something of that sort that involves your mental health, I see a big relief over 2024, you'll be making a lot of progress in this area. The major word I channel is balance, on your outside circumstances but mostly when it comes to yourself and your inner wellbeing, I feel my heart rushing and a knot in my stomach that are slowling relieving, this year might also involve some kind of spiritual or emotional healing too. If you have difficulties dealing with stressful situations this year will also bring you clarity to discern what's best for you and where to invest your precious energy.

You'll be lucky when it comes to find new ways to develop your passion or how you share it with the world, you'll be very lucky if you use some kind of social media or technologies to promote it too, especially if you are an artist. Your intuition will be improving too, if you follow it you'll find sucess at the end of the road, your guides will also be taking relevance in your life. Btw, blue will be your lucky color during the year

This new year will end up some conflicts you were dealing with, the feeling that you needed to constantly fight will dissipate in a very natural way, it will happen progressively in a time where you'll feel like you can finally sit and relax, you might feel extra tired sometimes but it will be because your nervous system will get out of survival mode. You end up a karmic cycle of your life that will allow you to focus on your finances and being productive at work because you got the ace and the 8 of pentacles right after the card of the world, so working and seeing progress will be a major theme of your year ahead, if you are into handcraft of some sort you can get extra income with it. You'll be also getting out of your comfort zone more often to find beautiful things outside of what's known to you, this will be a year of adventures that you'll live with peace in your heart.

Pile 3:

There's an improvement on your energy levels and your home life, you'll feel a lot more healthy and vital during the new year, I don't usually talk about health in any of my readings but your pile deserves it because your body is regenerating positively somehow, whatever you are doing to take care of it just know it's working and will give you proofs of it this new year. There's also a major message about your home life and how it will be taking a more important role in your life, maybe it's something as simple as to be able to decorate it the way you like or it's something more relevant like making a renovation of pipes or fixing leaks, whatever it is, it's something you've been wishing for a long time, It could also be that you'll finally be moving to the house of your dreams.

Your lucky areas talk about health again with virgo in the dices, I see trying to have healthier habits will help you in this aspect of your wellbeing, maybe create a healthier routine or something that sort (it will be different for each of you reading this), always do what's most aligned with yourself. You also got pluto and the third house so this year will be good for you to transform yourself, maybe stepping out of what's known for you and try new practices, it could also be that you are re-learning some things after an important spiritual awakening. For a little amount of you this could mean taking a different approach when it comes to your physical health and needs.

Uhhh things got interesting with your tarot cards! There's a lot of love entering your life my dear :), you got so many beautiful cards that I had to take a minute to channel and summarize all the info. After a period of healing and purification all your dreams will start to come true, the healing process might seem too intense because you'll be getting a lot of channelings in a short period of time but suddently everything will start happening for you, it will happen in the most unexpected way at the mostt unexpected time, you won't see all the happiness coming, even if you receive signs you won't be paying that much attention. You got the star, 10 of cups, ace of cups and the empress, if this is not an omen of your true love entering your life I don't know what it is lol, maybe the message about the home means that you finally meet the person you are going to create a home with because you got the king and knight of pentacles at the bottom of the deck so this person is arriving with commitment, peace and stability. Congratulations my dear, you'll be discovering love in many different aspects of your life during this new year.

Pile 4:

Your major blessing is some kind of dharma, it's something that will make you gain hope in Universe's protection over you, this will come through other people that will communicate things to you that will feel like an eureka moment where everything starts to make sense. Honestly, this feels like making amends with the past, do you know when you see the bully of your high school after 10 years and all the rage dissapears because that person is having a nightmare of a life?, it's not about being happy about other people's suffering, it is more the feeling of there's someone up there watching everything we do and no one leaves without paying their karma.

Your area of luck is about the people that will enter your life, I see you reuniting with your soul tribe this year and finding lovely people that will treat you with the love, respect and admiration you deserve. If you are someone that has dealt with the worst aspect of human nature, this year will be a proof from Universe of all the good traits humans have, it's like Universe wants to compensate you for the battles you have gone through in the past, you'll find your place and your people in this world.

With the tarot cards I'm seeing that you'll be meeting the most lighthearted and positive aspect of life, there's happiness, support and love entering your life to stay. You'll be moving on from a lot of mental patterns that were holding you back, it's like you have learnt the theory and you are finally dealing with the practice that you thought it would be supper difficult and challenging and will ressult into being the most easy and peacefull process ever, like you don't even have to make any effort because everything will be moving at your same pace, like Universe is adapting to you. Between all the new positive people entering your life, there are a lot of chances to find a romantic soulmate there, because of the cards you got I see an unblock in your heart chakra that will unblock your love life too, especially for those that have been single for a while. At the bottom of the deck you got the 6 of swords and the wheel of fortune so this new year will be a shift in your luck to the positive aspects of life, you'll also be feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

Pile 5

Your pile is the only one that has one extra oracle card and it's because that card wanted to fly and land on the opposite side of the room, not to give you spoilers but it was the card of romance. This new year will bring you a lot of different blessings, I see 3 major ones at least, romace is very prominent through all your spread so this year you will meet your true love and will start your life together as a couple. Another blessing I see here is some sort of independence (it will be different for each of you so take only what resonates), it can be moving alone to a new place, working by yourself or releasing emotional attachments, whatever independence means to you is what you'll be getting this new year. I also see admiration from people when they look up to you, you'll be receiving adoration from others, like getting a fan club or something like that, it feels like people being devoted to you, so you might get viral or achieve some level of fame throught the new year

Your lucky areas will be taking care of yourself and your beauty on the inside and the outside, if you've been thinking about changing your style, this year will be very favorable for you in this aspect, also for beauty treatments or anything related to your image and appearance. Another lucky area will be your drive and inner power, you can rely on this aspects whenever you need a boost of confidence, remind yourself your talents and keep moving, you are your most powerful lucky charm <3

Ohhh Divine counterparts energy here in your tarot cards, the hierophant and the high priestess and the king and queen of cups, so you'll be finding a person so in tune with you that it gives me goosebumps all over my spine, you'll understand what a twin flame connection is after this person enters your life, btw, it's someone completely new, no one from the past. Your overall message about this new year is success and moving on from what no longer serves you, this new year you'll be aligning with your happiest and most successful version and honestly, I feel like you won't have to do that much because Universe is pampering you during the whole year

Pile 6

Your oracle card's literal is happiness, so honey, happy days are here again for you, I see even see you crying of joy a few times during the year. You are my spiritual pile and my dear, this year you'll be having magical moments with your spirituality, you'll see miracles happening in front of you, I'm literally hearing 'a glitch in the matrix' so you'll be seeing and undestanding Universe in such a deeper level. You'll be nourishing your soul during this new year, you'll be more in tune with your inner child and you'll be focused into what's best for you and your happiness, life will also be very gentle with you.

Your lucky areas have something to do with your soul mission, especially if you are the kind of person that loves helping others and would like to dedicate your life into a major service for people. It's something related to healing, it can be your own or this might be more related of a soul mission that involves helping others, whatever it be, you'll be receiving rewards because of this so don'tdoubt to help those who need it. Another lucky area will be the people that will enter your life, you'll have an amazing support system in the people you will know this year.

You'll be knowing a soul mate this year! You got 2 and 10 of cups and a lot of major arcana, so I see a major connection with a romantic soulmate but also there are a lot of soul mates that will enter your life to align you with your soul mission, every person will come with a lot of knowledge that will make you feel fullfiled on a soul level. There's also a shift in your luck but it will be mostly driven by your own mentality, you'll feel stronger and more confident in whatever your passions are, you'll be also having some sort of realization about what you want to do with your life and will plan how to make it true, Universe will be favoring you in this aspect.

[jae-bummer]

Only If The Cats Approve

Request: I have a request for a Lee Know fic where when you first find your soulmate you have to be near them 24/7 for a certain amount of time. Also, the reader has been waiting for their soulmate their whole life and is super excited while Lino isn’t super into the idea. The rest is up to you.

Pairing: Stray Kids Lee Know x Reader

Genre: Grumpy x Sunshine (some fluff, a smidge of angst)

.

"Are you going to pick that up?"

Lee Know stared blankly in Hyunjin's direction before sending the call to voice mail.

"Well, that was rude," Hyunjin muttered, looking back down to his sketchbook.

"Hyung," Han sighed, plopping next to his older member. "You know how this works."

"I don't need a soulmate," Lee Know muttered, focusing in on the television. He had flipped on a drama to keep his mind busy but hadn't been watching it at all. No matter how much he resisted the idea, his thoughts kept turning back to you.

"I didn't say you did," Han treaded carefully. "I just think it might-"

"I have the members," Lee Know cut in, still refusing to look anywhere but the television. "That's enough."

"But someday-"

"I said that's enough."

Han sighed, knowing this argument was futile. He was there the day that Lee Know had bumped into you on the streets of Gangnam. Even though he had witnessed literal hearts erupt from his member's eyes, he also saw how quickly the older man was able to shut it down. He knew he would never admit it, but he was scared. It was hard enough for him to trust the seven of them on a daily basis, let alone someone the "universe" had picked for him.

Buzz

Buzz Buzz

Glancing up from his drawing, Hyunjin arched a brow. "Now you can't ignore that."

"Watch me," Lee Know muttered, settling back into the couch.

Groaning as he pulled himself to his feet, Han shuffled toward the door. Pressing the button to their intercom he tried to hide the sigh in his voice. "Hi, Y/N."

"Hey, Hannie!" you smiled. "Lee Know up there?"

"No," Lee Know called from the living room.

"You know he is," Han grimaced.

"I'll be up in a sec then!" you called, mounting the stairs two at a time.

The moment you had realized you found your soulmate was something you'd remember for the rest of your life. You were meeting a friend for lunch when you came across a group of rowdy men, pushing and shoving at each other as they attempted to enter the same restaurant as you. In the scuffle, you had somehow gotten wrapped up in their group, nearly falling to the ground as one of the men accidentally shoved your shoulder.

He had looked at you in shock, stumbling over himself to apologize until you had made eye contact. Not to sound too cartoonish, but it was like a bell had gone off in your mind. Something clicked and you both knew.

Luckily, the group of men were seated in the booth beside your friends, so you could start diving into the man who would be your inevitable future. It was common when someone met their soulmate to spend nearly every waking moment with them as you seemed to sync up. If you neglected each other during this time period, the flip that had been switched on when you had met could gradually switch off. You knew your teachers in high school biology had attempted to explain the phenomenon, but you couldn't remember the first thing about it now. All you knew was that you weren't going to have this love match go to waste.

Letting yourself into the Stray Kids dorm, you popped off your shoes and were immediately met by Han.

"I got you a caramel latte," you said cheerfully, handing him a drink. "I picked an Americano with just a little bit of cream for Lee Know. I wasn't sure how he took his coffee."

Han nodded, taking a long pull from his straw. "That's pretty much exactly how he takes it."

"I don't like coffee," Lee Know grunted from his spot on the couch.

"Now that's a damn lie," Hyunjin muttered. Just as Lee Know began to shoot him a dirty look, he sprung up from his seat, and tossed his sketchbook aside. Going full grabby fingers, he reached toward the coffee carrier. "Is the Iced Americano for me?"

"You already know," you grinned, plucking your own drink out, as well as Lee Know's. Sidling over to him, you plopped on a cushion, setting his coffee on the table in front of the couch. "What are we watching?"

"Something boring," Lee Know grumbled, crossing his arms. "You would hate it."

"Then why are you watching it?" you laughed.

"Because I like boring things," he muttered. "I am very boring. You probably shouldn't spend time with me."

"Yeah right," you laughed. "What do you mean? You're a blast."

"I don't know if they're being sarcastic or not," Hyunjin whispered to Han.

"What?" you gasped. "I love hanging out with you guys."

"Oh, "guys" being plural," Hyunjin nodded. "We are fun."

"But especially Lee Know," you nodded. "He always knows how to make me laugh."

In response, your soulmate curled his lip, causing you to grin.

"He likes playing hard to get," you teased, elbowing him as you looked to Han and Hyunjin.

You weren't stupid. You knew he was playing more than hard to get. It was obvious that he didn't want much to do with you on a good day. In any normal circumstance, you would cut your losses and just leave him be, but this was meant to be your life partner. Just when you thought he was a lost cause, you would catch his eyes for a split second and your knees would go weak. His face would immediately soften, his lips forming a small "o" as he allowed himself to stare back. It would only take a moment for him to completely shut you out again, but he had to force himself to do so. You would worm your way into his heart eventually, it just took patience.

"I don't play anything," Lee Know spat, finally addressing you for the first time since you had entered the apartment. "I don't understand why you keep trying when I'm not interested."

"You don't honestly think I believe-"

"I don't care what you believe!" he gasped. "I don't care about you! At all!"

Well, that hurt. Trying your hardest not to cry, you sucked in your lower lip. Glancing from Lee Know to the two other men in the room, their expressions were also shocked. Looking on with wide eyes, they both slowly began to back out of the room and into the kitchen.

"Lee Know, I-" you began, the words thick in your throat.

"Look," he sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "I don't want to be a jerk, but I don't want you here. I don't want to hang out. I don't want to get to know you."

"I-I," you whimpered. How could he say that out loud when you both knew it wasn't true? Barring anything he may personally think, it was biologically impossible. He was predisposed to care about you.

"Leave," he sighed. "Please."

His brows were furrowed as he turned away, refusing to speak any further. Slowly rising to your feet, you felt helpless.

"I'm," you said quietly, grabbing the two coffees on the table. "I'm taking back your coffee!"

Turning on your heel, you stomped toward the front door.

"We can keep ours, right?" Han winced, causing Hyunjin to slap his chest lightly.

"Y/N," the taller boy sighed. "You have to understand, this really isn't like him. He just needs some time-"

"This is me!" Lee Know yelled from the living area. "I'm a monster and they shouldn't be swayed to think otherwise."

Rolling his eyes, Han leaned in toward you. "Don't get too far. Let us talk to him, okay?"

Nodding pitifully, you sniffed into your sleeve. "Okay."

.

"Maaan," Han groaned, turning on Lee Know. "What the fuck?"

"That's what I'm thinking," Lee Know nodded. "I thought they would never leave."

"No," Han said, pointing an accusatory finger at the older man. "That was directed at you. Who acts like that towards someone who is supposed to be their soulmate?"

"I told you, I don't want-"

"Cut the shit," Hyunjin spoke up, immediately wilting as Lee Know turned a death glare his way. "Or don't. Please continue."

"You want love just as badly as the rest of us," Han sighed, sitting on the couch to speak on the same level as his member. "Our friendship is a type love that isn't even remotely the same. We're all partners in a different way. That can't ever be enough for you."

"Who says?"

"The universe," Hyunjin piped in. "Literally, biology."

Rolling his eyes, Lee Know let his head fall back to the cushion behind him. "It's just easier this way."

"Easy doesn't mean fulfilling," Han sighed. "Easy doesn't mean right."

"Why can't it?" Lee Know argued. "Feelings are so difficult...and messy."

"But so worth it," Han supplemented. "Remember when you first met all of us? You didn't want to open up back then either. But once you did, wasn't it all worth it?"

Leaning forward again, Lee Know eyed Hyunjin, who had put on his best smile.

"The jury is still out on that one."

This time, it was Hyunjin's turn to roll his eyes. "Just admit that you're scared."

"Admit that you cried watching The Spongebob Movie."

"I was traumatized when Patrick and Spongebob dried up under the heat lamp," Hyunjin snapped. "It was heartbreaking."

"If he can admit to that," Han said slowly. "Then you can admit..."

"Maybe I'm a little scared," Lee Know said almost too quickly for either boy to catch.

"I'm going to need you to repeat that," Hyunjin said, lifting his brows.

"Maybe I'm scared!" Lee Know gasped. "Maybe I think I'm unlovable! Maybe I don't trust easily!"

"There we go," Han smiled. "Now was that so hard?"

"I am in excruciating physical and mental pain," Lee Know pouted.

"Now," Han nodded. "March down stairs and tell Y/N all of this."

"You can't just expect me to go pour my heart out to a stranger," Lee Know scoffed.

"I can and you will," Han insisted. "I refuse to see you miserable and regret this moment for the rest of your life."

"Regrets are for the weak."

"Hyung," Han groaned, rubbing his temples. "Please, just do it for us. We'll never shut up about it if you don't."

Eying both of his younger members cautiously, Lee Know puckered his lips. "Do you mean Hyunjin will be even more of a nuisance to me?"

"In new and creative ways," Hyunjin nodded with a smile.

"Well, fuck me," Lee Know murmured, shaking his head. "Time to swallow my pride I guess."

"Rip it off like a band aid," Han nodded. "Word vomit it all out. That's how I operate."

"Such sage advice from someone with so much wisdom," Lee Know muttered, standing with a frustrated stomp. "Where did they go?"

"Downstairs," Han smiled. "I told them you'd be having a change of heart so they should stick around."

.

"Can I have my coffee back?"

Glancing up from your shoes, you were greeted by the tormented face of Lee Know. You wordlessly lifted his cup toward him, allowing him to take it from your fingers.

"Thanks," he whispered, clutching the cup for dear life. You could see a battle play across his face before he seemed to decide something. Easing down to sit on the bench beside you, he heaved a sigh. "Y/N, I-"

"Don't like me?" you squeaked. "Don't want me around? Hope my cat gets hit by a car?"

This caused him to you to sharply inhale, drawing your eyes from the ground to him.

"I would never want anyone's cat to get hit by a car," he urged, his voice passionate. "Not even my worst enemy."

"Why are you here, Lee Know?" you groaned. "Be honest."

"So," he began slowly. "I may or may not have been projecting my abandonment issues on you earlier."

You raised your brows, surprised out how direct he was being. "Yeah?"

"I recognize that I tend to push away the ones I love when they haven't seen my flaws," he continued in a monotone. "And when they do, I'm terrified they'll turn away from them, and in turn, me."

"Lee Know," you breathed, hardly believing he was finally breaking down this barrier. "Why are you telling me this?"

"For fear that Han or Hyunjin will make my life significantly more difficult than they already do," he said blandly. "I was threatened, and frankly, am not all of the way sure that I want to be sitting down here right now, but here I am."

"Here you are," you chuckled, shaking your head.

"I guess I'm really not that bad," he sighed. "If you get to know me."

"Quite the salesman," you grinned.

"I'm sorry I made you cry," he muttered with an eye twitch. "That really sucked."

"It did," you murmured. "But you have to know, I don't want this if someone else has to convince you to be here."

Lifting his brows, Lee Know tilted his head in thought. "That's fair."

"Could you just, could you look at me?" you pleaded.

Taking a deep breath, he began to nod. Slowly but surely he pivoted to face you, his focus wandering up your body before finally settling on your eyes.

His own grew wider as they took you in, his breathing more stifled and coming in quick bursts.

"I'm scared if I make direct eye contact for any prolonged period that you will see me, Y/N," he said quietly, not breaking contact despite the admission. "Really see me."

"Would that be so bad?"

"The literal worst," he smirked.

"Then why are you still looking at me?" you grinned.

"Because when I look into your eyes, I see us retired, owning a cat sanctuary on the countryside. I'll take up a niche hobby like making my own paper and you'll read books to me by the fire while I wait for the sheets to dry before I bind them," he said in a whispered stream of consciousness. "Soonie, Doongie, and Dori will be at least sixty years old by then, outliving all other cats in Korea and proving themselves to be immortal."

"I'm sorry," you said slowly, trying to keep up. "Are Soonie, Doongie, and Dori your cats?"

"And also my children," he nodded, hardly even blinking now. "Do you want to go meet them?"

"I would love to."

"Excellent," he grinned. "Maybe this will work out after all."

[zeskyzed]

Rafayel with an S/O who has PMDD

Hi guys this is the first work I'm posting here! It's self indulgent and I'm hoping this brings comfort to others as well <3

Warnings: afab reader, tw for depression/suicidal thoughts

- Since he's a lemurian, I feel like he wouldn't have any prior knowledge about a condition like this. He already had limited knowledge about periods since they're a human thing so I think if you have PMDD he'd be pretty confused at first. You'd definitely have to explain it to him, but he'd understand quickly.

- His face drops when you start listing all the symptoms.

"Back-aches, fatigue, nausea, chest pain, cramps, dizziness-"

You were nowhere near done listing them but the words on your tongue died when you saw the color drain from his face.

"You deal with this every month....?" He finally says, tone laced with concern.

"Yeah, for 1-2 weeks." You say casually, and he looks even more concerned.

"Human bodies are so stupid..."

"Tell me about it."

- After understanding the types of symptoms you experience (since everyone experiences different combinations of symptoms), he works with you to figure out what's the best way to take care of you during that time of month.

- Rafayel is known to be the type of person to play into banter, or even make some playfully rude remarks sometimes. However, he rids himself of that persona to show you his unfiltered caring side.

- If you have work and your fatigue is too much to the point where you can't wake up, or need to spend most of the day sleeping, he'll make sure to call out sick for you. He'd even pay you for the amount of hours of work you missed, just because he feels bad that you have to skip work for something uncontrollable.

When you wake up and see the money transferred to your account, you ask, "Rafayel, why'd you send me money while I was sleeping?"

"Um obviously because it's a shame that my cutie can't work because her body hates her! Your hard work for today was fighting sleep instead of wanderers so you deserve it." He smiles at you, caressing your cheek lovingly.

- If you have back-aches or any kind of body-aches he's got you covered. His hands aren't only good for painting after all, they're good for massaging too it seems. He'd use his evol to warm up his hands, before massaging your tense muscles, hoping to alleviate some of your pain.

- If you get boob pain/chest pain, he'd want to offer to help you, but get embarrassed about it. Only when he sees you stumbling around and holding your chest because they hurt everytime you move does he stop being embarrassed. He doesn't even see it as something suggestive anymore, because of the pain you're in.

- If you have nausea and/or dizziness he would remind you to sit down and to stay hydrated. Depending on how bad it was, he would even make you lie down, but not for too long in case lying down made it worse.

- When cramps get bad, he's doing the same thing he did for your body-aches, warming up his hands and rubbing your lower abdomen.

- When the insane mood swings hit, you guys might clash at first because he tends to be moody as well. However, along with seeing how much pain you're in, he prioritizes your feelings over his own.

- If you're ever feeling insecure for any reason he will be a living confirmation of how beautiful and loved you are. You're his muse and he'll remind you of that time and time again. Whether it's a quick sketch of your face or a full on painting of all the features he's loved for so long. Whether it's poetic words, or the simple feeling of his hands caressing your hair. He loves you regardless of what you think you look like, because he's there to remind you of the beauty he sees.

-If you're ever dealing with the depression and suicidal aspect of PMDD, just know he's there to support you all the way. He'll call in sick for you at work if you can't get out of bed, and helps you to do certain tasks to get through the day. He prepares your favorite meals in an attempt to make you smile, and tries his best to make you smile with his jokes instead. He doesn't want to leave you alone with your thoughts and if you let him, he makes sure to stay with you for as long as you need him to.

A/N: This is not that well written but I hope you still enjoyed <3 Requests are open!

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Period Tracker

requested?: no pairing(s): kim mingyu x afab!gn!reader genre: fluff, mentions of sex (not full detail) warning(s): mentions of periods, reader is said to have periods, but there is no specific gender summary: 𝘯/𝘢 word count: 619 a/n: lemme know if you want a full fic with the last scenario;). im trying to get things done because i'm gonna take a small (yeah right) break bc im going to spain soon and i dont rlly wanna take my laptop over th border and i dont have word on my phone lol. either way, i will try my hardest to get things done before i go, i will be giving you updates as i go, telling you when i will be gone and when i will most likely be back yk. make sure to eat and drink something, love yas, mwah! -Cilla part two is HERE

mingyu is like your little personal period tracker

like

you need to know when your period is and you reach for your phone?

no need

mingyu is there to save the day

he KNOWS when your ovulating

and he knows how to get under your skin while you are

(black compress shirt and grey sweats)

and it works

your surprised you’re not pregnant by now

the amount of times you have both fucked when you were ovulating

its unhealthy

but brilliant exercise

either way

a few days before your period, he gets tons of snacks

and i mean TONS

cupboard doors are practically falling off with how much he bought

he also restocks your period supplies

like tampons, pads pantie liners, etc

and painkillers

he also makes sure you’re comfortable when you are on your period

like

he makes sure you have all of your stuffed animals, blankets, etc

makes sure he massages your stomach

helps with your cramps

strokes your sides with his knuckles when you are falling asleep

runs you a hot bath with scented candles, bath bombs, bubbles and everything

sits with you in it aswell

washes your hair

he doesn’t let you move whatsoever

like

you need to get up to get some painkillers

don’t fear, mingyu will go get them for you

he will only let you get up to move if its to change your pad/tampon

literally never would piss you off either

he knows your limits yk

he’s very careful in what he says

a few days before your period, you started cramping. you were about to go grab your phone which you left in the kitchen. you were literally so close to tapping on the app that would track your period when a certain someone came up behind you.

“you’re gonna start in two days” you didn’t trust him initially, but since you then forgot which app you were going on your phone for, you nodded and walked away, heavily doubting that you would.

but here you were, two days later, waking up to the most excruciating cramps you had ever had. you looked down, and alone behold, your perfect white sheets were now stained red with your blood. you groaned and flopped back down into a lying position when the man himself, kim mingyu, came in with two plates, both filled with your favourite breakfast.

“i told you you would start today baby” he mused, handing you a plate, which you accepted with a mutter of a thanks.

a week later, your period had ended and you were close to ovulating, which mingyu always knew. the circles on the calander told you so. and here you were, just coming downstairs from what you would call the best nap of your life, when something caught your eye.

or rather, someone. he was stood in the corner of the kitchen, facing you. he didn’t look up from his phone as you entered, rubbing your eyes and yawning, until you turned to him.

“had a good nap?” he says over the top of his phone.

your jaw almost hit the floor, your eyes practically popping out of your sockets as you took him in. his hair was wet from the shower he must have had not long ago, when you were asleep. he was wearing a black compress shirt which showed off his thick muscly arms, which paired perfectly with his grey sweats. you just KNEW he had no boxers on underneath as you could see his length perfectly through the material. you groaned into your hands, he looked up from his phone and looked down at you.

“you can’t do that, i’m ovulating” you whine, mingyu just smirks.

“oh i know baby”

[novantinuum]

[Updated 1/6/25]

I've written a kinda ridiculous amount of content for this fandom at this point, so this post is intended as a fun way to organize all that content on this blog. I'll update this post periodically as I share more works.

Most of my works are gen fic- with a heavy focus on character study and "bridging the gaps" of canon with lil bonus scenes of what I feel certain characters might've been up to in between episodes. However, I do on occasion enjoy exploring a few different relationship dynamics... and actual ratings for my stories vary.

Ratings and pairings will be listed on this masterpost, as well as any particularly vital content warnings. For more thorough content warnings, please reference the tags on the linked AO3 listings.

~~~

Multichapter AUs:

Crack The Paragon Series

Series Summary:

In the wake of an ill-fated discovery, Steven vies to pick up all the pieces. The Gems are in turmoil: Pearl can’t speak the truth, Garnet chose to separate, and Amethyst's confidence has hit rock bottom. Somehow, his mom is Pink Diamond. But what exactly does that mean for him? Why did his mom really choose to fake-shatter herself and obscure her identity? With the very foundation of his home life shifting around him, can Steven ever hope to find answers on his own? Or will his growing obsession with seeking this truth ultimately crack his world all over again? Canon divergent as of season 3 episode 20, Bismuth.

Stories:

Crack the Paragon- 70,705 words, 14/41 chapters. Rated T. Light Steven/Connie.

In another world, he doesn't have his mother's sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops. Steven falls apart.

Content warning: Major character injury.

Everything Is Different Now- 1,014 words. Rated G.

After her unfortunate exile, Bismuth returns to her forge to work, and to reflect on her mistakes.

Seeing Pink- 2,475 words. Rated G.

Following a video call with Connie, Steven reacts to the discovery that... his eyes aren’t always human anymore.

Misalignment- 16,680 words, 20/? chapters. Rated T.

His family’s not present the third time he runs away... They never see the creature he becomes. Early corruption AU.

Content warning: Minor body horror.

Hollowed Moon- 8,046 words, 14/? chapters. Rated T.

Stevonnie doesn't crash the Star Skipper onto that jungle moon. Instead, they crash on a craggy fragment of rock suspended thousands of miles away from its associated colony, long forgotten. On that lonely hunk of rock is a domed garden. And standing in that garden, just as lifeless seeming as the rest of it, is a pink Gem.

~~~

Other AU/Non-Canon Works:

For the purpose of organization, this section contains two fics that have since had elements of it debunked by Steven Universe: Future. However, said fics were written to be "canon compliant" at the time of posting... thus, on AO3, they still are listed within my "canon compliant" series.

Shattering Atlas- 4,274 words. Rated T.

A boy can only carry an entire galaxy upon his back for so long before the weight of it all finally becomes too much. (Written about the Corrupted Steven Theory, long before SUF's airing.)

Content warning: Depression, body horror.

The Price of Freedom- 791 words. Rated T.

Even while sightless, even when she only exists as thin fingers of light rapidly spreading outwards from her gem, Rose can sense that something is deeply, dreadfully wrong. Written for Whumptober 2020, Day 1: Waking up restrained.

Bi the Way...- 2,886 words. Rated T. Steven/Connie.

Connie has a question, and also something to say.

(Originally written to be canon compliant after the movie, debunked by Steven and Connie not officially getting together until the end of Steven Universe: Future.)

Errands- 3,034 words. Rated T.

Steven has an endless stream of items on his to-do list, so many that he often forgets to properly take care of himself in between. Sneaking off into the woods on the daily to vent out his repressed emotions is merely one of them.

(Originally written to fit between Snow Day and Little Graduation, but the back half of Steven Universe: Future strongly suggested that Steven did not visit Jasper in between the events of Little Homeschool and Fragments, thus I consider it debunked.)

A Blissful Crossroads- 1,742 words. Rated T. Stevencest.

“No, no, please— Steven, it’s not ‘nothing,’ I’m curious, now.” Tone bursting with genuine warmth, he plants a singular hand on his shoulder, trying to coax him to open up again. “I genuinely want to know.” And stars, is the sheer, uncharacteristic vulnerability glistening within his dear friend’s warm brown irises when next he opens his mouth almost enough to scramble the very code of his core-most being. “You sure about that, Flower Boy?” _ A holiday gift fic inspired by the story "Drift Together," in which Steven and his Gem- Floret- are split at birth and live entirely separate lives before ultimately reuniting in high school.

tether me close and promise you'll linger- 2,139 words. Rated T. Steven/Connie.

“Happy New Year, sweetheart,” she whispers, her breath tickling against his beard. And in response, his brow creases inwards so sharply that it’s all but impossible to ignore the building tension behind his eyes, the stressful specter of a migraine yet to come. “Stars… it’s that time already—?” - A holiday gift fic inspired by characters in the AU comic “Walk the Line.”

~~~

Canon Compliant Works:

This part of the list contains almost everything within my "Brandishing the Star: A Crystal Gem's Guide to the Universe" fic series on AO3. Fics are listed chronologically.

Tipping Point- 1,104 words. Rated G.

Garnet helps remind Rose of what she's fighting for.

New Star- 1,321 words. Rated G.

Organic life is a fragile, fickle thing. This much is true. What's also true is how the death and resurrection of a humble lion was enough to make Rose Quartz re-conceptualize everything.

On the Origin of Hybrids- 1,684 words. Rated G.

The question— incomplete, and yet bursting with long-held curiosity— emerges from thin air while he’s about to tuck Steven into bed in the back of the van one night. In retrospect, no parenting book could’ve ever prepared him for this one.

His Shield- 334 words. Rated G.

Greg attempts to comfort his son during a thunderstorm.

Donut Debrief- 1,578 words. Rated G.

And like a burst of sunshine emerging from between the murky grey clouds, the young boy swings the door open wide, face alight with a level of enthusiasm that before, she didn’t even think was humanly possible on an overcast Monday morning. Two days after their disastrous island adventure, Sadie and Steven talk about regrets, making amends, and discover something they have in common with each other.

Autumn Bliss- 546 words. Rated G. Light Steven/Connie.

Is there any better way to spend a crisp autumn day than playing around in piles of leaves? Written for Connvember, day 1.

Alienation- 1,151 words. Rated G.

“But... I’m human,” he whispers to himself, the words tasting more like a desperate plea for belief on his tongue. “Or at least, part human. Right?” - An awkward interaction with his dad and Connie leads Steven to realize that he's now too Gem to all the humans in his life.

Ramen Soup For the Soul- 263 words. Rated G.

Steven and Connie noisily slurp some soup at the dinner table.

Creative Outlet- 837 words. Rated G.

“Log date, 7 14 9. “Today, the hybrid creature Steven attempted to further secure my loyalty by introducing me to a concept he calls... ‘music.’

Taste of Ordinary- 12,756 words. 2/3 chapters. Rated G. Light Steven/Connie.

"Connie, can we talk?" When a much needed moonlight conversation with his best friend turns into an attempted (and failed) "spring break" from all his responsibilities as a half-Gem, Steven must finally come to terms with the full truth of his heritage and all six thousand years of its consequences. Takes place between The Question and Made of Honor.

Outer Strife- 4,282 words. Rated T.

Connie clenches her fists at her sides, envisioning a world where she still feels the safe, comforting weight of Rose’s sword strapped upon her back. But instead, it’s the Crystal Gems’ darkest, most forlorn hour... and she’s absolutely useless to them. Is there anything she can do to aid them in this struggle, anything at all? (Or: the beach fight in Reunited, but from Connie's POV.)

Content warning: Panic attacks

Ballroom Etiquette- 2,809 words. Rated G.

As much as it pains him to admit it amidst all the boring protocol, Pearl is absolutely right. There’s no room for imperfection at a Homeworld Ball. In which Steven is publicly introduced to the Gems of Homeworld as Pink Diamond, and he experiences the first true stage fright of his life.

Finally Free- 1,653 words. Rated G.

Lapis genuinely doesn’t know how many hours (Days? Months? Years?) have passed when light finally graces her eyes once again.

Vulnerable- 730 words. Rated G.

Three words. Three little words, and the intergalactic conflict he‘d been training his whole childhood to defend against was over. But the hurt... he's not sure the hurt will ever go away.

Fifteen- 1,607 words. Rated G.

Every year, on the fifteenth day of the eighth month, Pearl runs away.

Cycles- 1,216 words. Rated G.

Amidst their danger-fraught mission to retrieve Pyrope and Demantoid's prisms, Pearl and Steven take a much needed break.

Freedom to Dance- 382 words. Rated G.

Stevonnie celebrates the first anniversary of Era 3 with their friends and reflects on how Homeworld has already changed.

Stardust- 618 words. Rated G.

White Diamond is testing out new terms of endearment. But no matter White’s intention with this little nickname, Steven doesn’t want it.

Contact- 16,002 words. 4/4 chapters. Rated T.

The first (and with any luck, only) time it happens, he’s almost 16.

Content warning: Major character injury.

Disconnected- 993 words. Rated T.

“What’s going on—?” he croaks to absolutely no one (weakened, vulnerable, alone, pathetic—), a jolt of fresh panic surging through his entire system. He’s never seen a gem flicker before. He has no idea what this means.

The Shatter Wish- 1,045 words. Rated T.

You’re 16 years and 2 months old (give or take a few days) when you finally realize you want to die. - (Steven's POV, second person)

Content warning: Depression, suicidal ideation.

Second Skin- 9,272 words. 12/12 chapters. Rated T.

Steven can’t help but dread the undefined cocktail of emotions that trigger this newest power... 12 shorts, each delving into Steven’s developing opinions and feelings about his “pink mode” in SUF.

Content warning: Light self harm, panic attacks

The Brother on the Other Side- 2,978 words. Rated T.

Lars has no idea what he was expecting the moment Steven texted him in the middle of the night to ask if he could come over, but being immediately tackled in an intense vice-grip of a hug the second he opened the door probably wasn’t it.

White Noise- 1,766 words. Rated T.

In which Steven opens up to Peridot a little about his anxieties surrounding his recent “pink episodes.” Peridot thinks she can help him determine the root cause of this problem, but Steven— marooned amidst age-old insecurities and his fears of hurting those he loves— still isn’t convinced he wants anyone’s help.

Content warning: Panic attacks

Like Clockwork- 509 words. Rated T.

Connie's got mountains of studying to do. (It's not just an excuse to avoid reminders of old traumas, of course it's not! Everything's fine.)

Fight the Future- 3,604 words. Rated T.

She’s poofed, he repeats to himself like a dying man’s mantra. She’s poofed. She’s stuck in the rubble, but she’s only poofed. She’s fine, and I’m fine, a-and— Above the scars of Steven's wreckage, thunder claps like mighty titans colliding in the heavens. (Or: what happens in the moments after Steven and Jasper's rematch.)

Oceans- 5,358 words. 6/6 chapters. Rated T.

Her fingers clutch onto the folds of his blanket with a protective fervor, but they’re still trembling. Stars, they’re trembling. Wordlessly, he understands. His are too. - A series of shorts detailing what might've happened in the moments after I Am My Monster, told from six different points of view.

Memoir of the Marks Unseen- 6,786 words. Rated T. Light Steven/Connie.

Steven’s messy self-corruption has scarred him in a manner that transcends the mere physical. Battling through suffocating waves of self-loathing and relapse, the path towards healing and acceptance is set to be his most challenging venture yet… but in a unexpected twist of fate, he eventually comes to find a cathartic solace in the tangible marks left behind.

Content warning: Depression, light body horror.

Intake- 6,427 words. 2/2 chapters. Rated T.

Steven fills out an important form.

Content warning: Depression, suicidal ideation.

Fear of Falling Apart- 1,961 words. Rated T.

Maybe it’s a bit selfish to wish for conflict in a time of relative peace, but right now Connie would give anything to face an opponent she could physically fight. A battle she could win. Because the fact of the matter is, no matter how stubbornly she might try, there’s no way she can fight off Steven’s inner demons for him. - In which Connie receives a panicked midnight phone call, and rushes to Beach City with Lion to try and help.

Content warning: Light body horror.

Ticklish- 2,675 words. Rated T. Steven/Connie.

In which Connie’s subconscious, innocent touch helps Steven realize just how nice the sensation of gentle fingertips gliding across the surface of one’s gem can be.

No Escape From the Weather- 5,756 words. Rated T.

Amidst an unusually stormy late summer’s day, Steven finally amasses the courage to confide in his dad about one of his greatest traumas.

Content warning: Panic attacks

Just a Little Something- 1,486 words. Rated T. Steven/Connie.

Steven surprises Connie with a handmade gift. Written for Glow Week 2024, for the prompt "Casual or Surprise."

(Our) Shadows Before the Dawn- 957 words. Rated T. Steven/Connie.

It's their nights that are the most difficult.

Content warning: Panic attacks

Advocate- 5,472 words. Rated T.

There’s more to this story, Lars can feel it brimming in his very bones. He can feel it squirming around in the tangled coils of his guts, a primal, virulent rot that threatens to consume him from the inside out. Something is off with Steven, something is distinctly wrong. And oh, does he hate being right. - When an unexpected visitor tumbles through the magic portal in his hair long after hours, breathless and bright pink, Lars must amass the courage to weather one of the most difficult conversations of his life.

Content warning: Depression, mentioned suicide attempt, panic attacks.

Tides of Renewal- 2,559 words. Rated T.

Now twenty years old and living on the other side of the country, Steven spends his morning relaxing on the beach, musing about his past, and having a chat with his dad.

Nightlight- 1,364 words. Rated T. Steven/Connie.

“So, wait— what you’re saying is that you want me… to glow for you—?” - In which a drowsy, throwaway comment inspires Steven to— fueled by Connie’s implicit trust and encouragement— test the very limits of his self-restraint.

~~~

OC Works:

This subsection is the home for any fics I post in my post-canon OC-centric series, "Echoes of Chalcedony." It follows the story of a young half-Gem named Jean Maverick and their journey towards learning about the Gem side of their heritage.

First Impressions- 11,026 words. 3/4 chapters. Rated T.

A young human-Gem hybrid- a soul yet unknown to the rest of the Crystal Gems- takes their first brave steps towards greeting their heritage firsthand.

~~~

NSFW Works:

Fics in this section will be posted on my NSFW AO3 alt, Astraliies. I personally consider some of them "canon" to my own extended fic universe, but they will not be sorted as official entries in my "Brandishing the Star" series due to rating.

It Takes Two- 2,865 words. Rated M. Steven/Connie.

It’s possible. The timing lines up. What Connie fears is one hundred percent possible. The problem is, a potential pregnancy this early into their relationship was absolutely not in their plans.

Content warning: Contains frank discussion of underage sex. Connie is 17.

knowing, loving, being- 21,450 words. 3/4 chapters. Rated E. Stevencest, Steven/Connie.

A uniquely charged encounter in Rose’s Room forces Steven to contend with matters of attraction and desire he never could have predicted for himself. To what extreme is he willing to journey in fulfilling these burgeoning fantasies? And in what ways will such an experience forever transform him? (One thing’s for sure, though… once Connie’s brought into the loop, the most intimate dynamics of their marriage will never be the same.)

Content warning: Selfcest, explicit sexual content

Love Handles- 7,178 words. Rated E. Steven/Connie.

In which a stray, innocuous comment from Connie pushes Steven to dedicate the bulk of his free time to ‘getting into shape.’ But when new stressors rise to challenge him, he begins to struggle to maintain this leaner, more muscular form for her. Not only that, but is this even the kind of body he desires for himself in the first place?

Content warning: Explicit sexual content, feeding kink

[leggerefiore]

Tom Nook x reader prompts 💖

anon. I have been clenching my hand trying to pretend I haven't been replaying ACNH and dreaming about having a domestic life with Nook again. you are. forcing my hand.

cw: fluff,

🍃Tom Nook General Romance HCs🦝

🪙 The tanuki admittedly does not have much time to focus on relationships with his focus entirely on his career. His time in the city had ended badly, and it was his chance to begin again back in his hometown. The shop and his (failing) real estate ventures were the only things on his mind, barring the two kids he had taken in as well. He was a busy man with financial struggles. A relationship truly was the furthest thing on his mind.

🪙 Well, until a certain newcomer moved to town. A call from Rover asking him to give a hand gave him an opportunity to finally offload some of the useless real estate he was sitting on and make some money from it. Of course, life was cruel, and they were broke. Even working part-time under him barely got their mortgage down to a reasonable price. Though, they seemed extremely determined to work it off. Their presence became a frequent quest in his store, often to chat and barter. It was only after seeing you gently handle Timmy and Tommy that he began to grasp something odd. He quite liked them despite everything.

🪙 PDA is not something the older man is admittedly a fan of. Though, at the same time, he barely has the energy to reject it. He lets you do whatever to him as long as it is not in front of customers or business partners. Your arms around him and face nuzzled into his shoulder was overwhelming, but he was far too uninterested in prying you from him. Kisses pecked to his face were simply a part of his life. Though, if one watched closely, they may see his tail start to wag. He regularly greets you with a simple kiss despite his more iffy-ness on public affection.

🪙 In private, he is a bit more open. An arm is often around you as he finds himself a bit more interested in touch. If you are ever doing anything, you may find yourself embraced from behind as a kiss is pressed to your head. Other times, you would find yourself pulled into his lap as he cuddles with you for an extended period. He is always busy, no matter what. Having these moments with you almost certainly feels of grand importance to him, cuddling is simply a nice way to unwind after his long hours. Any sleeping activities also involve large amounts of cuddling. He is quite affectionate in the right environment.

🪙 Just the same as in public, you have free rein to do whatever to the businessman. He simply has no energy to reject it and quite typically enjoys the doting affection. Kisses pressed all over his face while sitting in his lap results in a sigh from him. Tight hugs to bury your face into his chest. He simply brings his arms around you and enjoys the affection. Admittedly, he quite enjoys the positive attention since his customers can be quite hard to please despite his best efforts. Your adoration truly warms his heart.

🪙 Dates… Often times, it is simply a walk out together through the town. There is not much to do, after all. Though, he does quite enjoy trips to The Roost with you where you both languidly enjoy a coffee and each other's presence. Most of all, when he has a moment away from his work, he does wish to spend it with you. He may wander the museum at your side or enjoy a leisurely walk along the beach. (Though, notably, after the town becomes more developed and his career shifts solely to real estate, he often frequents the places on Main Street alongside you. After the Deserted Island Getaway, he often enjoys exploring other islands with you.)

🪙 Nook is not the jealous sort. Why would he be? His confidence in himself is plain as can be. Besides, you pursued him, and that alone assures him there is no need to worry of you straying away from him. His trust in you is truly high. Though, one person sets him off. Seeing Redd literally anywhere near you makes him rush over his astonishing speed and put himself between you both. He has no interest in letting that fox anywhere near you. Even you mentioning purchasing from him leads to a chiding rant about how untrustworthy he is. It is the one time you can ever see him flustered, so enjoy it.

🪙 Domestic moments are quite frequent. He would argue that your relationship with him is built on them. You began bringing him lunches during his long shifts after upgrading his store to Nook'N'Go, and that has stayed a tradition since. Isabelle often giggles at the sight of you popping into Resident Services to drop off a meal for the tanuki. He seems quite excited to take it and have a moment with his partner. Your presence in his life was truly a booster to his ability to work. You even help him take care of Timmy and Tommy, of which he was extremely grateful for. In his heart, he really felt like he had achieved everything needed in his personal life.

🪙 In truth, your unyielding support in his endeavours played a small part in his ability to grow his small-town shop into the land development business it was now. He truly feels that you are an important presence in his life, even if you started off as a debtor to him. Everything from how you helped him with the boys to generally helping with the economics of his shop (by shopping and selling) helped him immensely in his early days. For that, you truly do have his heart.

🪙 Your relationship with the tanuki goes from tumultuous and a bit awkward to something of true domestic bliss. Nook does really love you and respect you as his partner, but he can be a bit distant with his work unintentionally. He never wishes for you to feel unwanted, though. It often surprises people when he mentions his partner since he never really speaks on his personal life. Though anyone who has seen you visit him knows truly how loved the man is. You end up settled happily into a patchwork family with a loving husband. Just let him handle the finances. He can be quite demanding on that.

[antoncore]

hi cee ive been soooo busy with college that im starting to not know when and where to start this and that. everything is all over the place 😵‍💫😵‍💫 what do you think about fluffy riize who will always ask you to take some time of for a breather when they see you stressed!! something steamy is okay too!!

how are you btw? 💝

🩻

hiii sorry for the late reply but i get that honestly, the amount of deadlines can often be overwhelming but i believe in you <3 my condition is getting better and better which i’m very happy abt :D i hope i did this okay btw haha

shotaro has you come to dance practice with him and watch him choreograph a new dance for the next comeback. he’d be asking for your opinions on certain sequences which of course you loved (it’s taro, why not). would possibly even encourage you to get up and dance with him just for a little bit of fun.

eunseok would almost drag you to the kitchen, desperate to get you away from your desk. you’d be cooking your favourite meal together, taking your time as your mind drifts away from the stress of all the work you had to do. after you’d dished your plates up, you’d sit on the sofa n watch anime together ehehe

sungchan takes you for late night drives in his car and as his passenger princess, you’re in control of the music <3 you’d sing along to your favourite songs, occasionally hearing him singing along with you. he’d also get you some fast food since you’ve not taken the time to eat well throughout this stressful period.

wonbin would take you shopping bc retail therapy IS real! he’d tell you to add whatever you like to the basket and he’d pay for it for you since he knows things have been stressful lately. he’d love for you to give him a little fashion show of everything you bought once you both got back home <3

seunghan likes long walks through the city. you wouldn’t really even need to say much to each other, just walking around hand in hand and comfortable in each other’s company. would even get you a little snack if you asked for one!

sohee is a simple man imo; cuddles in bed! he loves to be close to you and you both know you’re so comfortable like this and that you could easily drift off to sleep and forget about the stresses of the day. or maybe you could watch youtube all snuggled up in the sheets, laughing abt whatever popped up on your screen.

anton would bring you to the studio with him while he plays some soft, calming music on his guitar. maybe he’d even play a song he wrote about you just to see you smile even bigger!! he’d even offer to teach you how to play a little (if you wanted him to ofc!!)